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thetravelerwrites · 3 years ago

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Heat (Part 1)

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Female Tabaxi/Male Human/Fem-Intersex Tiefling Additional Tags: Exophilia, Babies, Mention of Pregnancy, Children, Kids, Tabaxi, Tiefling, Intersex, Pregnancy, Fatherhood, In Heat, Mating Cycles, Contraceptive Words: 4311

Rings goes into an intense heat and decides to isolate herself to prevent conceiving a child, whereas Ebert goes on a quest to find rare components to create a stronger contraceptive for her. Commissioned by @ocsmutpocalypse!

Rings had been acting weird. More weird than normal. And her normal weirdness was… pretty weird, by anyone’s standards. She spent a lot of time camping in the woods and snapped at anyone who came near her, including Ebert, Reverence, and her sister. Buttons couldn’t be in the same room as Rings, hissing and spitting at her before scrabbling for the door in a frothing rage.

Ebert hadn’t realized the change in her behavior at first, since Ethrik was a year and a half old, and Ebert’s second child had just been born a few months before, which took up all his attention. The child was like Reverence in that they were between genders and were not old enough to decide which gender they most identified with. Ebert and Reverence decided to name them Evo, short for “evolving,” and figured that they could change their name when they were old enough to choose.

So it was a few days before Ebert noticed her odd behavior and pointed it out to Reverence.

“Ah,” Reverence said, breastfeeding Evo. “Maybe she’s in heat.”

“Heat?” Ebert said, confused. “She’s never gone into heat before.”

“Well, not since you’ve been here, but that’s only been two years. It’s happened twice before, and they were random. Her sister says that Rings normally takes some sort of suppressant which works well enough typically, but every once in a while, the urge gets too strong and her body rebels against her.”

“Huh,” Ebert said. “Well, she takes the birth control medicine that I make, so she should be alright, right?”

Reverence shook her head, patting Evo’s bottom as they suckled. “Biological imperative in her species can be pretty strong, and no birth control is 100% effective. Rings hates the idea of having children more than anything, so the possibility that she might conceive is something she simply cannot tolerate. It’s why she normally secluded herself during her heats. Which is unfortunate for her. The last one was two months long. She came back in very poor shape; it took weeks for her to recover.”

Ebert frowned. “That’s disconcerting. Can nothing be done to help her?”

“According to Spring, if she copulates, the heat passes in a matter of days, but Rings won’t risk it. The idea of motherhood repulses her.”

“I know that all too well,” Ebert said. “I’m going to go to the cottage and see if I can work on something for her. I don’t like the idea of her being isolated for two months, especially since winter is coming soon.”

Reverence nodded and kissed him goodbye, and Ebert trekked into the woods and to the cottage where he did is magical work. As he was walking up, he heard glass break inside the cottage.

Taking out a short sword he’d been given and preparing a fireball, he called out, “Declare yourself!”

“Fuck off!” He heard in response, Rings’ annoyed voice loud enough to rattle the windows in the frame.

“Rings?” He said, dropping his sword and letting the fireball spell fizzle out in disbelief. “What the hell are you doing in there? What did you break?”

“Who cares? Go away!”

“I need my workspace!” Ebert said, putting the key in the door, but it refused to open. He had a feeling Rings was sitting in front of the door. “Reverence told me you’re in heat! I’m going to try and make a new contraceptive for you!”

“What do you know?” Rings yelled, banging against the door as he pushed on it. “Go ask Cassandra! She knows more about herbs and medicine than you do, you quack!”

Ebert grimaced, but he knew she wasn’t wrong. Cassandra was an aasimar and alumnus from his old academy, one who actually graduated and hadn’t committed a crime against nature, like he had. She and her lover had settled in the village less than a month previous.

Her specialty was prophecy and soothsaying, but she was also well versed in magical medicine and herbalism. Ebert was a good physician, but he wasn’t much of an apothecary He’d deferred to her expertise on several occasions, including the production of the original contraceptive. He was lucky she was more interested in working as a fortune teller and not as a medicine maker, or she could have taken half his business, if she’d had a mind to it.

“Yeah, I love you, too!” Ebert retorted, stalking off.

Cassandra lived with her lover, a minotaur named Bigby, near the temple and she did a lot of her business with the visitors. Getting your fortune told right outside of the temple was lucrative for both parties, so Reverence had allowed it as long as Cassandra agreed to support the temple and donate a small percentage of her earnings to the temple every month. Despite being a holy woman who lived a modest life in a small, two room house, Reverence was remarkably business savvy at times.

On the other hand, Bigby loved kids, and he often babysat for the villagers when they made their trips to the temple for a small fee. It was a good way to earn himself income and keep the littler tots out of trouble while their parents did their worshiping, so everyone got something out of the deal.

Cassandra was sitting at a booth that she had set up at the feet of Fysy’s statue outside of the temple. She was in the process of giving a reading to a parishioner, so Ebert waited awkwardly a small distance away for her to finish before approaching.

“Hello, necromancer,” Cassandra said pleasantly, her dark skin shining like bronze in the sunlight. “I’ve been waiting for you to come and see me. You certainly take your sweet time. I was wondering if I’d have to come and seek you out instead.”

“Yes, well,” Ebert said. “Rings is in heat.”

“I know,” She said, smugly magnanimous. “You’ve come to get medicinal advice, yes?”

“I suppose so,” Ebert admitted. “Rings and Reverence implied that the current contraceptive recipe will not be enough to override her body’s biological imperative. I need something stronger.”

“The recipe you have is pretty strong,” Cassandra said. “It would work for most mortal beings. Though, I will admit that Tabaxi bodies are very hardy and can expel most poisons with no effect to themselves. It’s no wonder that a normal recipe wouldn’t work for them.” She rubbed her chin. “There are a few herbs I know of that are effective. Bloodwort is one, and the bark of the red cedar is another. Bloodwort isn’t too hard to find, but red cedar isn’t native to this region. To find it, you’ll have to travel northwest for at least a week.” She stood up and came around the table, motioning to him to follow her. “Come.”

She led him to her home, where Bigby was chasing a passel of children around in the yard, pausing momentarily to raise a hand in greeting only to be set upon by many tiny hands, pushing him on his stomach and piling on.

“Here,” Cassandra said, pulling down a book. “This is a picture of the herbs I mentioned. When you find them, combine it with fennel seed, chasteberry, raspberry leaf, thistle, and red clover flowers. Boil on a low setting in clear water for at least three days, and add the decotion to a berry wine. Three tablespoons per day until the next cycle starts.”

Ebert pulled out his notebook and began to draw copies of each of the plants, writing down the recipe underneath the sketches.

“There’s an unusual symptom of this decotion, however,” Cassandra continued. “It doesn’t happen in humans, but in beastfolk, like tabaxis, it can cause an increase in sex drive. It’s still effective as a contraceptive in beastfolk, but it forces them to experience the worst of the heat in order to surpass it. I’d advise you to discuss it with Rings before making the trip. She may not appreciate the side effects.”

“I’ll do that,” Ebert said. “Although… Rings is usually my partner on these types of trips… I can’t imagine--”

“Going alone?” Cassandra said, finishing his sentence. “Then don’t. Certainly, Rings is a capable woman, but she’s not the only one. Her sister is also quite capable, and she would understand the urgency, especially considering she’s gone through a heat herself.”

“That’s true,” Ebert said. “I’ll ask Rings. Thanks, Cass.”

“It’s no trouble,” Cassandra replied pleasantly. “Give the children a kiss for me.”

Ebert waved and set off back to the cabin.

“Rings,” He said once he returned. Rings was still sitting against the door and refused to let him inside. “I spoke to Cassandra. I have to take a trip to get the ingredients she told me about. I’ll be gone for a few weeks.”

“Okay,” She said. She sounded much more subdued than normal.

“Listen,” Ebert started, sitting awkwardly on the steps. “Cassandra said that the herbs have a strange side effect on beast people. It forces them to the peak of their heat and makes them more… needy. The heat passes faster, but… the urge to… procreate… gets stronger. Uncontrollable. I just wanted to be sure it’s something you’re willing to deal with.”

“I don’t know,” She said after a moment. “If that’s the case… Will you and Reverence shelter with me until it’s over? If I’m going to end up in the family way… I’d prefer it if the kid belonged to you or her. I trust the two of you more than anyone else. I know me; it’s just not in me to be a parent. I won’t care for the kid. But you two will. And that’s good enough for me.”

“We can do that,” Ebert said. “I’m sure Reverence would agree. I’ll discuss it with her before I leave, to be sure. I’m going to see if Spring will accompany me on this trip. She understands this better than me, after all.”

“That’ll be good,” Rings agreed. “She hasn’t been out of the village since we came here.” Ebert heard her laugh. “Make sure Flicker doesn’t get the wrong idea. Unless you’re planning on seducing Springs on the trip.”

“Gross. I’m not into sisters, thanks. And Flicker could rip me in half, so I’m not risking it.”

Flickering Flame was a Bengal tiger tabaxi soldier from a far off desert country and was in a relationship with Spring. He worked as a guard, protecting the village from hostile outsiders. Though Spring was monogamous and had chosen not to follow Fysy, Flicker was a disciple of Fysy and worshiped at the temple, an arrangement they had agreed on when they decided to become engaged.

“Yeah, that’s true. He would rip you in half. It would be funny,” Rings said, laughing in a subdued way.

“Are you okay?” Ebert asked in concern.

She sighed. “I’m anxious. I’m never anxious, and I hate it. And I’ve never had to worry about who I had sex with or when. I don’t feel like myself and I don’t like it.”

“We’re going to fix it,” Ebert said softly. “Even if I have to go alone. As fun as it is to see you squirm… I miss you. The real you.”

“I miss me, too,” She said. “When are you leaving?”

“As soon as I talk to Spring,” He replied. “Probably tomorrow morning. I don’t want to delay too long.”

“Reverence is okay with it?” She asked.

“I haven’t talked to her yet, but I don’t imagine she’d be opposed to it. She’s not exactly restrictive or controlling.”

“True. And she can’t leave the village. She hasn’t set foot outside of the town’s boundary since she became the priestess decades ago.”

“I keep meaning to ask her the story behind that, but I’ve never had the opportunity. I heard she came from some place far away. I wonder how she ended up here.”

“I’ve never heard the full story, either,” Rings said. “Let’s ask her when you get back. It seems the three of us will be spending several days together, after all.”

Ebert struggled to his feet and brushed off his trouser. “I’m going to get going. I want to make arrangements before sundown.”

“Hey.”

“What?”

A heartbeat of time passed before she said, in a very quiet voice. “Be safe, okay? Don’t get killed, or I’ll be very angry with you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” He said, chuckling.

“I’m serious,” She said, banging the door. “You’re useless without me.”

Ebert began to set off down the trail. “Don’t forget to eat.”

It didn’t take much to convince Spring to go with Ebert on his sojourn. She asked Bigby to look after Candle until she returned, and Bigby was happy to comply. Ebert also discussed having Bigby watch his tots when he returned and sheltered with Rings during her heat, and he was amiable.

Reverence was sympathetic to Ring’s plight and immediately agreed to help, offering to go to Rings at the cabin while Ebert was gone and satisfy her in ways that didn’t lead to children in the meantime. It wouldn’t be enough to end her heat, but it would keep her from losing her senses in the midst of an uncontrollable influx of hormones.

Spring met Ebert outside of her house the next morning wearing a practical traveling outfit with a sword strapped to her back.

“I wasn’t aware you owned a sword,” Ebert said, impressed.

“It’s Flicker’s,” She said. “I’m just borrowing it. I’m only glad he had one that suited a person my size. Of course, he calls it a letter opener.”

Ebert snorted. “You’re ready, then?”

“Yeah,” She replied, hitching up her pack. “We should follow the river until we hit open terrain. I’m familiar with the smell of red cedar, so finding it shouldn’t be as difficult as it would be without a tracker.”

“That’s definitely useful. Have you said farewell to Rings?”

“No, but I don’t think she’d welcome my company at the moment. I’ll greet her when we return.”

Fair enough. “Let’s head out.”

Traveling with Spring wasn’t as awkward or unpleasant as Ebert worried it could have been, especially considering the two of them weren’t necessarily close, despite his having lived in the village for several years by this point. The only time they really spoke was when he accompanied Rings or Reverence to dinner at Spring’s house.

He discovered that Spring was a good conversationalist and knew a lot about wilderness survival techniques, perhaps even more than Rings, which was reassuring, because Ebert knew fuck all about that.

Though she reminded Ebert of Rings in a number of ways, she was more even-keel and mellow-tempered than her sister. Whatever affection he might have developed for her during their trek, it definitely wasn’t attraction. More like a close friend or sibling, which actually relieved him. He hadn’t been close to any of his siblings, so having a familial relationship with someone was both unfamiliar and refreshing.

“The air is getting colder,” Spring said, pulling her scarf around her more tightly as they walked. “Another day, and we should be in the right area.”

“Great,” Ebert said in relief. “I hate camping.”

Spring snorted. “Yeah, I kinda figured. You do most of your grumbling right before bed.”

“I don’t mean to grumble,” He said, slightly embarrassed.

Spring laughed again. “You do it mostly under your breath, but I have good hearing.” Her feline ears flicked back and forth. “I honestly find it rather amusing. You remind me of Candle sometimes.”

“...thanks?”

“I just mean you like things a certain way. Candle is like that, too.” She hacked a branch out of her way. “Most children are.”

“Insinuating that I behave like a child?”

“I don’t mean it in a negative way. Rings is very similar. I think it’s just a side effect of not having a very good childhood. Rings hasn’t told me much about your childhood, but it’s easy enough to assume that it wasn’t a happy one, and you already know hers was terrible.”

“That’s true,” He admitted.

“We all need certain things when we’re children, chief among them is attention,” She said pensively. “Children grumble and gripe and make a fuss, and it seems irritating, but what they’re really asking for is attention. If you don’t get enough when you’re young, you grow up desperate for it. Rings acts out because she likes attention. I don’t think you necessarily want people to pay attention to you, but I think you do want people to listen. If you didn’t, I think you wouldn’t grumble out loud. People only make noise when they want someone to hear it, after all.”

“What are you, a philosopher?” Ebert laughed.

“Aren’t all mothers?” Spring replied, laughing herself.

The next day, as they were trekking near a treeline, Spring stopped and sniffed the air.

“I smell bloodroot,” She said. “It’s not far away. A few hundred meters, maybe.”

“Any whiff of red cedar yet?”

“No, but it likely won’t be long now. Bloodroot and red cedar are native to the same region.”

“Well, let’s collect as much as we can carry while we’re here. I don’t want to have to make another trip any time soon.”

They spent most of the afternoon plucking bloodroot plants, hoping there were seeds they could sow when they returned to the village. Another few hours travel before nightfall brought them to a grove with red cedar.

“Fucking finally,” Ebert sighed. “I was worried we’d have to travel another day to find this.”

“It is getting late, as it is,” Spring said, looking toward the setting sun. “It’d be best to set up camp now and harvest what we need in the morning.”

“Uuuugh,” Ebert groaned, throwing his head back dramatically, and Spring smiled at him in a fond, maternal sort of way.

Spring set about building a fire pit while Ebert looked for firewood from the nearby brush. He found valuable mushrooms and some lichen that would be useful as components and harvested those while he was at it, then returned to the clearing where they’d made camp.

“It doesn’t smell like rain tonight, which is good. I don’t feel like putting up the tent.”

Ebert groaned. “I don’t like sleeping in the open air.”

“Then you set up the tent,” She retorted.

Ebert’s groan deepened. “It’s not so bad, I guess.”

“That’s what I thought.” She sat down at the newly built fire and put the cooking grate over it, setting a small pot on top of the grate and pouring water into it from her canteen. “Wanna cut up the onions and potatoes for the stew? I still have some jerky left, but I should hunt tomorrow for the trip back.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ebert said with a heavy sigh, settling himself with difficulty on the ground, setting his cane down next to him, and opening the drawstring pouch that contained their food supply. “One each, eh?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” She said.

“So, has Rings ever gone through heat like this before?” Ebert asked as he peeled the vegetables. “I’ve been meaning to ask, but I keep forgetting. This one seems severe.”

“She’s had a couple of heats since reaching adulthood, but not this bad,” Spring replied, tearing the jerky into small strips and throwing it into the pot. “It’s only as bad as this because Rings isn’t used to suppressing her urges. She’s always been impulsive and opportunistic. If she wants something, whether it’s food, money, sex, or whatever, she either takes it from wherever it’s most readily available or finds someone willing to give it to her, and she never hesitates. It’s why Fysy’s village suits her so well. Ordinarily.”

“True,” Ebert mused. “So stubborn. You’re older than her, right?”

Springs snorted. “By, like, three minutes. We’re from the same litter.”

“You two have such different personalities,” Ebert remarked.

“She’d hate to admit it, but she takes after our parents in temperament. I’m sure that’s one of the reasons she has no interest in having children; she hates the idea of turning out like them. That and she hates kids.”

“Yes,” Ebert replied. “Honestly, so did I, before I met Reverence. I mean, I still hate kids, but I like my kids. I guess I expected to turn out like my family. They were not in any way affectionate or sentimental, and up until Ethrik was born, I was the same way. I’d never have believed being a father was a possibility for me, let alone being a good father or enjoying my time with my children. Life has taken quite the unexpected turn.”

“Do you think Rings should have children, then?”

“Oh, Gods, no,” Ebert laughed. “Granted, I love my children, but I will admit it’s not an experience everyone needs. You know as well as I that suddenly being responsible for a living, breathing life you created is terrifying and not something every person wants to or is capable of handling. Rings is right to think that she wouldn’t raise the kid. She can’t deal with that level of responsibility. Her freedom and autonomy is too important to her, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I agree,” Spring said. “It’s one of the reasons I accepted you invitation to come on this journey. I thought of anyone, you would understand her best and not attempt to sway her opinions or plans for the future. You get her. I appreciate that, as her sister. Not many people do. I’d say even Reverence doesn’t understand Rings as well as you, for all they’ve known each other longer. It’s simply a fundamental difference in their personality.”

“You mean Rings hating kids and Reverence having so many?”

“Not just that,” She mused. “Reverence is the priestess of the goddess of love and fertility. Rings is fine with the first part, not so much the second. Though Rings loves Reverence, their difference in philosophies will always be at odds with each other. That’s why I think you’re good for them. You get them in different ways, and you can mediate if they ever argue.”

“Have they ever argued?” Ebert asked, surprised. “I’ve never witnessed it. Which is strange, because Rings loves to argue.

Spring snickered. “Typically, Rings respects Reverence enough to keep her criticisms to herself, but they had a brief falling out a few years back. Reverence was pregnant, again, and Rings got tired of it.”

“But Reverence never keeps the children, except for mine, and those were special circumstances.”

“Rings didn’t care; she felt like Reverence saw herself as nothing more than a brood mare and had no self-respect. Reverence, on the other hand, feels like making children is her sacred duty, and thus felt as though Rings was insulting her calling in life, and Fysy by extension. The parted ways for almost two months.”

“Oh, gods, it must have been serious,” Ebert said, surprised. “What happened?”

“Rings and I had a discussion about why I decided to keep Candle, even though he was conceived in the throes of an unplanned, unprepared-for heat with a deadbeat, what being a mother means to me specifically, if I wanted more children, that sort of thing. I think it helped her understand Reverence a little better. It’s the one and only time I ever heard of Rings apologizing.”

“I’m glad they made up,” Ebert replied. “I don’t know what my life would be like without both of them, and it’s not a thought I want to entertain.”

Spring smiled fondly. “Me, neither. Reverence is like a sister to me, as well. She gave me and my family a home and helped us start a new life. I owe her a lot.”

“As do I,” Ebert said softly with a sigh, reaching for a spoon to eat the stew right from the pot. “Let’s eat and go to bed, I’m exhausted. I want to get out of here as early as possible.”

Now that they had what they needed, the trip home took much less time, and they arrived back within the town proper in five days. He stopped by Reverence’s house, only to find that Bigby was keeping the children, with all of them on the floor passing a leather ball to each other in turn. Tiny little Evo was sandwiched between Bigby’s legs to keep them upright, squealing delightedly when the ball came close only to kick it out of their reach. Buttons sat in the very center, swatting lazily at the ball as it rolled past her.

Ebert realized from Reverence’s absence that she must be keeping Rings company. Spring collected Candle and excused herself, inviting Ebert and the women over for dinner once Rings was back to her old self.

Ebert went out to the cabin that was well away from most of the town, one of the reasons he liked it so much, and heard moaning issuing from inside. Ah. He’d guessed correctly. He reached up and knocked.

“Fuck off!” Rings cried out.

“It’s me! I’m back!”

“I don’t care! Fuck off!”

“I have a key, you know!”Ebert shouted. “I can let myself in at any time, I was just being considerate!”

“Then let yourself in, the fuck if I care!”

Ebert rolled his eyes and sighed. “I can’t work with the two of you going at it. I’ll start the medicine at home. I’ll be at the house when you’re done.”

“Whatever, go away!”

Snorting derisively, Ebert set back off for home.

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ksgeekgirl · 4 years ago

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Back to the House that Love Built - Chapter 1: Bucket List

Title: Bucket List Word Count: 2800k Warnings: None in this chapter...but they are coming! Pairing: Francisco Morales (Pedro Pascal, Triple Frontier) x Kaylah Riley OFC Chapter Summary: Takes place about 18 months before the happenings in Triple Frontier. Your standard grumpy pilot boy meets girl :) Author’s note: After watching Triple Frontier I couldn’t believe how they did my boy Frankie, so I decided to give him the back story he so richly deserved. Big thanks to @heather-lynn for helping me with story structure, being a kick ass beta and encouraging the shit out of me. If you like it, please let me know!

Kaylah stretched her arms over her head, rolling her neck slowly in a circle. She’d been ma’am’d to death, had her heart blessed and had way more people than she was comfortable with knowing a little bit of her personal details. She’d even had one man, who sounded old enough to be her grandpa tell her “you sound real pretty, i’m sure we can work something out.” Hard pass.

Despite that, every call ended the same way -- way out of her price range or unwilling to help. So now, she was down to the last name. Her final shot.

She picked up her phone and tapped in the number, a little too aggressively, as she got psyched for one last call.

“Okay Francisco Morales,” she said to herself as she popped her airpods back in and hit send, “ I dare you to tell me no.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frankie had been working at the airport for eight months and it was a good fit. He was flying copters, getting in the air daily and keeping him close to the team. His brothers. They had been to hell and back in the nearly 20 years they were together in the Army -- then it all ended about 18 months ago.

That first 10 months had been rough, he’d never really thought about what he’d do when he got out because he didn’t think he’d live to see the day. And he wasn’t alone. All of the guys were a little afloat after leaving the Army, except for Pope who was doing the same work, just without the flag. But, things had settled and while it wasn’t exciting it was so much better than he deserved, in his opinion.

He was working four days on and three days off lately running workers out to oil rigs and various other projects. This was the end of a four day shift and he was running the post trip checks to make sure the bird was ready when he came back.

The beginning notes of Go Away by Godsmack began blaring from his phone, which only meant an unknown number. Frankie contemplated ignoring the call, but he was still on the clock and he was nothing if not responsible.

“Morales…” there was a pause before Frankie heard a very determined Southern drawl.

“Mr. Morales, my name is Kaylah Riley. Johnny Rowland over at Channel 9 said that you were the man who would be able to help me.” Kaylah didn’t even slow down before launching into her ask, not wanting to give him a chance to tell her no.

“I’m looking for someone to take my mom and me up on a private tour. I know it’s a big ask, but i’ll be happy to pay for your expenses…” she heard him start to ma’am her on the other end and barrelled on “..and an additional fee for your time, we can make any time work to fit your schedule,” another soft ma’am on the other end “...we’d just really…”

“MA’AM” Frankie almost yelled to get her attention. “I’m sorry, but we’re not a charter service. I’d be happy to give you the name…”

“Mr. Morales, you don’t understand, I…”

“No, Miss. Riley was it? I do understand. I’m sure one of the charter groups would be a much better experience. Like I said I'd be happy to recommend someone.” Frankie was not in the habit of giving Southern belles helicopter tours. He was about ready to give her a name when he heard her voice crack.

“Mr. Morales, I’m going to be honest with you.” Kaylah could hear the defeat in her own voice as she laid it out. “I’ve called every charter and pilot in a 100 mile radius. You’re my last chance.”

“Miss Riley, I…” Kaylah barreled on.

“You see, my mom is dying. She has taken care of me my entire life and I’m trying to help her knock off her bucket list before she is ripped from me. Unfortunately the crazy woman’s list includes a helicopter ride.” a laugh bordering on panic bubbled out of Kaylah’s chest. “Please Mr. Morales, you really are my last hope.”

Silence stretched on the line as Frankie took off his baseball cap and laid it on the workbench, running his free hand through his shaggy hair as he dropped onto a stool. He should tell her no. It wasn’t his problem. He could feel in his bones that this wouldn’t be a simple job.

“Mr. Morales, please?” her voice was pleading. The edge from earlier gone and replaced with anguish.

Shaking his head, Frankie pulled his cap back on. “Yeah. I’ll do it.” Frankie couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face as he heard her clap on the other end. He swore he could feel her smile through the phone.

Frankie looked at the reports, “Weather is shit this weekend, pardon my language, but next Saturday should work. Can you be here at 10?” His hand rubbing the back of his neck as he talked.

“We’ll make it work. And Mr. Morales,” Kaylah took a big breath, a tear escaping her eye, “thank you.”

“Yeah. Next weekend.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaylah was excited to get home that night and tell her mom the good news. Dropping her backpack by the door and kicking off the shoes, she didn’t bother yelling for her mom. She knew the tiny woman would be planted on the back patio, ice tea in one hand and book in the other.

She grabbed a beer on the way through the kitchen, leaning against the frame of the french door watching her mom a bit before breaking the silence. She’d nodded off, her chin resting on her chest and snoring lightly. Kaylah pushed off and walked over to the wicker loveseat, shaking her lightly.

“Momma..” She jerks awake, looking around until Kaylah comes into focus.

“Kaylah-girl. How long have you been home?” Her mom’s accent sounded so weird to others, but it was comforting to Kaylah. Born in Dublin and married to a Texas native, Maureen Riley had the odd combination of twang and lilt that could make her almost impossible to understand. Even after forty years in America.

“Just got here,” She sat and slid an arm around her mom. “I have some good news.”

Maureen’s eyes sparkled as she took in her daughter, “Good news? Let me guess...you have a date?”

“Sort of,” Kaylah smiled as she saw her mom’s mouth drop open, “WE have a date to go up in a helicopter next Saturday.”

Honest to god her mom squealed like a six year old, causing Kaylah to break out laughing, but that was followed by a very serious expression.

“Momma, what’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing baby...i’m just trying to figure out what you wear to fly in a helicopter!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His little corner of the airport was dead on Saturday. Frankie got there early that morning, one to get the bird ready and two, because he wouldn’t put it past Kaylah Riley -- because she always used both names -- to be there early.

He had grabbed a couple of blankets on the way out this morning. It got cold up there and he’s not sure that his suggestion to dress warm really got through to her when she called on Thursday. It may be the South, but it was still January and the combination of altitude and wind could make it brisk to say the least.

Frankie had just gotten the headsets tested and ready to go when he saw a beige SUV pull up. He checked his watch, 9:30, just as he’d expected. He was walking out to tell her she’d have to move to the parking lot as she rounded the front of the car.

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but he could say without a doubt it wasn’t the pretty redhead that was headed his way. Frankie didn’t know if you could be fearless and fragile at the same time, but that was what popped in his mind seeing Kaylah Riley for the first time. Shit.

“Mr. Morales,” the wind whipping her ponytail as she walked up to Frankie, hand extended, “Kay…”

“Kaylah Riley. Got it.” Frankie gripped her hand in a strong shake, trying not to get distracted by her bright red lips. “You’ll need to move your car, you can’t leave it there.”

“Good morning to you to Mr. Morales…” Kaylah was glad she had on her sunglasses so he couldn’t see her eye roll. “I’d planned on moving it, I simply wanted to drop my mom off first...walking really wears her out,”

Kaylah pulled her hand back, realizing that she was still holding his long after the shake, shoving her hands in her pockets. “I mean, If that’s okay with you…”

“Yeah. That’s fine,” Frankie nodded his head at the tiny woman headed their way “but I think she got tired of waiting for you.”

Kaylah turned to see her mom strolling their direction. She couldn’t tell what made Maureen look more silly, the mirrored aviator sunglasses, her dad’s old leather bomber jacket or the long white scarf that was roughly the same color as her hair.

“Ma’am,” Kaylah turned to look at a smirking Frankie, one hand on his hip, “is she dressed like the Red Baron?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, “Mr. Morales, my mom is not what you’d call understated.”

To his credit, Frankie didn’t laugh, but the way his eyes crinkled showed how amused he was. Before she knew what he was doing, Frankie stepped around her, jogging towards her mom and offering his arm like a proper gentleman. Kaylah watched them walk towards her, Maureen’s charm in full effect, but her eyes were on the man next to her. Baseball cap pulled down, jacket stretched across his broad shoulders. Dear lord, she was staring like a teenager.

“A Stór, Francisco was just delightful to help me over here wasn’t he?” Maureen smiled up at Frankie. “Now go park the car and hurry back so we can get up in the air!”

Kaylah smiled and gave her mom a small salute. “I’ll be right back” and headed back to the car. When Maureen turned to watch her go, Frankie followed her gaze. Kaylah’s black moto jacket ending at her waist and drawing Frankie’s eyes down her slim frame. Biting the inside of his jaw, he pulls his hat down a little lower, definitely not what he’d expected.

Maureen was watching Frankie watch Kaylah, a glint in her eye as a smile spread across her face before she squeezed his arm. “Francisco, do you have somewhere I can sit down?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaylah looked back at the retreating figures as she started the car and pulled towards the parking lot. She was a little embarrassed at what she had expected with Francisco Morales. Johnny had told her that he was a vet, the best pilot he knew and a man of few words. What she had constructed in her mind in no way matched the man that was chatting up her mother. He wasn’t what passed for handsome these days. She’s seen handsome up close and that was surface level at best. He was something else.

She parked and turned off the car, checking her reflection in the mirror, searching for the right word to describe him. Shoving her wallet and phone into her jacket pocket she jumped out of the car as the word came to her.

Masculine.

Francisco Morales was inherently masculine. Not macho, but just so comfortable in who he was there was no need to try and convince others. Like the Marlboro Man...with a helicopter. The only other man she’d known like that was her dad.

Kaylah shook off that thought as she walked, looking up to see her mom already strapped into the front seat of the bird, headset in place and blanket tucked around her.

“Momma?” Kaylah shielded her eyes as she looked up at her mom. “You two leaving without me?”

“If you don’t hurry up we will,” Maureen shouted. “Now hurry up so Francisco can get you strapped in. I want to fly!”

“Yes Ma’am!” Kaylah hurried around the copter where Frankie was waiting. She was trying to get in when she felt warm hands on her waist lifting her up drawing a little gasp out of her.

“Sorry.” Frankie mumbled as he strapped her into the seat, tightening the belt around her soft hips, his eyes catching on the glimpse of freckled thigh through the stylish tear in her jeans. He bit his lip as he handed her the headset, using the bill of his cap to keep from looking at her. “You’ll be able to talk to us without doing anything. Just say something if you have a problem.”

Kaylah nodded her head, at a loss for words...a condition that seldom plagued her. She watched as Frankie went through his process to get the helicopter running and then, they were in the air.

While she took in the sites from 1,000 feet up, Frankie was the perfect tour guide. He and Maureen talked non-stop. No, that wasn’t accurate. Maureen talked non-stop and Frankie added the well timed “hum” or “really” that kept her in peak storytelling mode. In fact, she could have stayed on the ground and neither of them would have known. It was glorious.

With their conversation as the soundtrack of the trip, the tour had passed quicker than expected as Kaylah saw the airport below. Coming to an end as Frankie sat the helicopter down as gentle as putting a baby to sleep. Kaylah was impressed as she heard his deep voice through the headset.

“Wait until the blades stop before you unbuckle, then I'll come help you out.”

Kaylah couldn’t help herself, her smart ass comeback slipping out before she even thought about it. “Aye, aye Captain.”

“I was never a Captain,” the scratchy voice caused her to snap her head up to see Frankie looking at her over his shoulder. She couldn’t tell if he was joking or if she’d offended him. Kaylah was fairly sure that Francisco Morales didn’t have a funny bone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was about 30 minutes from when they landed until Kaylah headed back across the apron towards her car, leaving her mom in Frankie’s capable hands until she could return.

Frankie watched Maureen get misty watching her daughter, seeing that as his cue to distract her and keep her focused on the great day. “Mrs. Riley…”

“Francisco...please call me Maureen” she patted him on the leg, dabbing at her eyes.

“Maureen then, you remind me so much of my mamá. Not just your personality and, um...stature,” Frankie smiled remembering the feisty little woman “but I don’t think anyone outside of Uncle Sam has referred to me as Francisco since she passed. Visiting with you today has given me a little piece of her back. Thank you.”

Maureen smiled as she watched the years fall away from Frankie’s face as he thought of his mom. “What a lovely compliment Francisco. How old were you when you lost your mother?”

“I was 20,” Frankie stopped, the muscle in his jaw working as he thought of that time. “In fact, I've been without her longer than I had her.”

Maureen stood, and without saying a word, wrapped him in the kind of hug that only can come from a mom. “I know I can’t replace her, and lord knows you’ve had time to learn to live without her, but you don’t hesitate to call me if you need a stand-in mom.”

She pulled back as she heard the car approach, patting him softly on the chest before turning to wave at Kaylah. Frankie moved to help her toward the car, walking in companionable silence as Kaylah came around to open the door.

As they reached the car, Maureen turned and looked up to Frankie, patting him on the cheek, “I meant what I said Francisco.” Frankie smiled and took her hand, kissing the back of it...the same sign of affection he used to bestow on his mom.

“Yes ma’am.”

Frankie stepped back as Kaylah got Maureen situated in the car and shut the door. She turned, pushing her sunglasses on her head, as she looked up at Frankie, extending her hand.

“Mr. Moral…” Frankie interrupted her as he enveloped her small hand in his, “Please, call me Frankie.”

“Okay. Well, thank you for everything,” Kaylah smiled up at him, pushing her sunglasses back down as she broke the handshake. “Frankie.”

Kaylah made her way back to her side of the car. Getting in with a quick wave and driving off, leaving Frankie standing on the apron as her taillights disappeared. He scuffed his boot against the seam in the asphalt, shaking his head as he looked down. He knew this wasn’t going to be a simple trip.

Shit.

#frankie morales #catfish morales #pedro pascal #please read this #just the beginning

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carolmaximoffs · 5 years ago

Text

THE GOOD DOCTOR

CHAPTER FOUR

Ch. Summary: Thea gets a suspicious text from an unknown number. She risks sharing her secret with the team, in hopes of finding who’s behind them.

Warnings: stillbirth, vague depiction of childbirth, loss of a child, Agents of S. H. I. E. L. D. spoilers, cursing, probably some spelling errors

Pairings (bc I guess now is as good a time as ever to add this): Sam Wilson x WOC OFC

A/N: i’m on a roll and i don’t think it’s a good one...regardless, italics are a flashback (in the form of a dream). bold italics are texts, though that i hope is obvious... things get a little weird in this chapter but it’s bc i was watching OUAT and regina’s weird tomb w all those hearts is partially responsible. i’m sorry if this isn’t your jam right away but i promise this isn’t going to be a dark fic! this is probably about as creepy as it’ll get. again PLEASE read the warnings.

Taglist (which is open!): @marvelousmrstark

THE DOCTOR AND THE CAPTAIN dance around each other for a week following lunch. She still hangs out with Wanda, and sometimes Bucky and Sam, but Steve is always miraculously busy. When Thea wakes up early to train with Natasha, Steve is always conveniently just leaving the kitchen as she enters. It isn’t until a Saturday morning that it comes to a halt.

Tony quite literally drags Steve by the ear into the med-bay, which Thea would find funny if she weren’t loath to see him. America’s golden boy, and she’d been the one to tick him off. She knew he was a cautious man, suspicious due to events in recent years, and even in his past; it didn’t stop her from feeling incredibly awkward after his seemingly blatant distrust of her.

The dark-haired man releases his hold on Steve and crosses his arms. The tips of Steve’s ears are grow red as Thea looks up from the paperwork she’s been doing, in regards to Clint’s mission injury a few days ago.

“Talk,” Tony says as sternly as possible.

“Thea, it wasn’t my place to question you about your abilities,” Steve starts, and Tony gives him a thumbs up while nodding encouragingly. Thea resists the urge to roll her eyes. “I...you made it clear you were just here as a doctor, and if that’s all you want to be then I will respect that. Thank you again for...my leg. And while I do think-”

“Alright, shows over, nice job, thanks Dory!” Tony hastily interjects, gripping Steve’s forearm and steering him out of the small office. Thea rises to her feet.

“Wait,” She commands, and they stop, Tony’s shoulders sagging. “What do you think?”

“I think,” Steve says, turning around and meeting her eyes, “That your powers could be a great asset to the team. Outside of medical situations.”

Thea realizes what he’s getting at. It takes everything in her to remain calm, lifting her chin just a little.

“Whether that’s true or not, I’m perfectly happy with what I’m doing. Thank you for the apology, Steve.” Her words come out stiff, a little sharper than she means them to. Nevertheless, Thea shakes Steve’s hand when he offers it, and maintains her rigid posture until she hears the main doors to the med-bay close.

“I tried to warn him,” Tony offers, having shifted to lean against the doorway. Thea drops into her chair with a sigh, leaning her head back as she clicks a pen absently.

“I just wish everybody would let it go. It’s not...it’s not cool, it’s not useful.” Thea sits up straight, tossing the pen aside and gripping her desk. “I mean, what would I do with my powers in a fight? Put somebody to sleep? Stop their heart? I’m not...I’m not a killer, Tony.”

“I know you’re not,” He says softly, approaching her desk to pry her fingers off it. “I won’t tell you that I agree with him, you know I do, but I will tell you it is 100% your decision.”

Thea manages a thank you, and, bless him, Tony leaves. She closes the folder on Clint’s mission after signing a few more pages and sets it into her main desk drawer. Peering as far as she could to be sure Tony was gone, she pulls a key from around her neck and unlocks a little side drawer.

Inside, only two items lay. One is a picture of her and her brother, only a year after she’d been adopted. Fury had explained his choice of family as ‘somewhere Thea could blend in, feel comfortable’, and it was perfect. The Triplett’s adopted her within 6 months of fostering her; she was home. In the photo, Antoine stands much taller than she, with an arm around her shoulders and the other wiggling into her abdomen. She, as a result of his tickling, is frozen in time laughing openly.

Thea sets the photo aside and reaches back into the drawer for the other object. It’s a locket, one Antoine had given her. Though the chain is thin, the charm attached is sizable for a necklace. It vibrates with energy that might make Thea nervous if she wasn’t so intimately familiar with it. The click of the lock coming undone still sends chills down her spine, regardless.

Within it, shrouded in the gold of Thea’s magic, beats a tiny human heart.

That night, dinner is a lonely affair. Steve had left for a mission shortly after seeing Thea, Natasha and Sam with him. Bucky and Wanda had invited her to join them for supper, but Thea feigned having work to do; Tony had gone on a date with Pepper. Now, as the stove clock blinks 9:30, Thea settles at the breakfast bar with a bowl of leftover dumplings.

She eats in silence, only disrupted when behind her, the TV clicks on. A glance over her shoulder shows her Bucky, flipping channels despite the book open on his lap. He doesn’t acknowledge her, however, so Thea returns to her meal, until her phone pings in her back pocket.

UNKNOWN NUMBER

Thea frowns at the device, but opens the message anyways.

UNKNOWN NUMBER

Funny how the good doctor avoids her powers

with friends, but not with family.

Thea’s heart begins to pound. Not only had she made sure she was alone earlier, and every time she went into her drawer, but the key is always with her. Any assistants Tony hired had never even been through the office - it was really only for paperwork, anyways, and they always left it on the desk for Thea to go through later. She feels nauseous, suddenly: the only other person on Earth who knew about the locket, and it’s true nature, was dead.

“You alright, Doc?” Comes a voice, and Thea jumps. She swallows as Bucky eyes her curiously, slipping her phone back into her pocket and nodding.

“Yeah, I...yes. I’m good,” Thea replies, but her voice quivers just enough that Bucky grips her arm as she moves past him to put her bowl in the sink.

“Thea-” He tries, but Thea pulls her arm away, giving him a tight, apologetic smile.

“Bucky, I’m fine. Seriously.” Thea insists before she ducks out of the kitchen. She can’t shake the feeling of his gaze, half pity and half suspicion, even as she shuts her bedroom door. After a moment of thought, she locks it, for good measure, and closes every curtain. No chances taken. She showers and changes from scrubs to sweats, and as she settles into her pillows she pulls out her phone again.

But not with family.

Thea still feels nauseous, and without even thinking, she types out a response.

Who is this?

There’s no immediate answer. Thea groans as she shuts her light off and tosses the phone aside. She tosses and turns until finally falling into nightmares.

2014

Thea laughs as Antoine crouches to coo over her quickly growing stomach. One month from her due date, but her brother has been devoted to her child from the moment Thea found out she was pregnant. She hadn’t even thought she could have children, nor had she really thought about them with the insane hours she worked, but she too was excited.

“Hi little bugger,” He whispers. Thea scolds him for language, but he ignores her. “I’m your Uncle Trip. We’re gonna be best friends, ‘cause your mama’s gotta be strict.”

Thea flicks his forehead, and he only smiles up at her before rising to his feet.

“I’m sorry,” He starts, and Thea collapses dramatically back into her couch. “About Ward. If we had- if I had known, Dot, you know-”

“Ant, it’s fine. Not your fault at all,” Thea tries to reason with him, but since learning of Grant’s true nature, she’d been struggling as well. Her long-time boyfriend had seemed so...so wonderful. Though Thea tried not to think about how he had seemed, tried not to think about him at all; it just spiraled until she was left wondering how much of it was lies.

Suddenly, she cries out, and Antoine rushes to her as she doubles over. His voice floats in and out of focus, the pain consuming her.

“Dot? Hey, Dot, what’s up? Dor…”

Thea feels only as if she blinks, and when she opens her eyes, she’s in a hospital bed. She’s hooked to various machines, and the room itself is crowded with people. Sound is still distorted, but Antoine is right by her side, gripping her hand. It’s a small relief.

“It’s too soon,” Thea protests as an unfamiliar woman crouched by her feet tells her to push. She doesn’t notice that she can only hear one heart monitor beeping. “Please, it’s too soon-”

With further insistence, Thea pushes anyways, the promise of ending the pain too tempting. A scream tears from her throat. It feels like only minutes before she feels all pressure lift; she'd done it. Yet the cry she expects does not come. She fees . Thea holds onto her brother’s hand for dear life.

“Ant? What’s happening? What’s wrong?” She whimpers, but Antoine is asking the doctors the same questions. Finally, they file out slowly, until only one doctor remains, a nurse standing just behind her, almost out of sight.

“Ms. Triplett, we are so sorry. Your son...was stillborn. You can...you can still hold him if you’d like.”

Thea’s body is wracked with sobs, but she holds her hands out regardless. The nurse places her unmoving child, swaddled with his eyes closed, into her arms. Antoine wraps an arm around her shoulders as Thea lets go of his hand to hold her son’s. The doctor mentions something about giving her time, and she and the nurse file out.

“He’s perfect,” Thea whispers. She stares down at where her dark fingers encase his tiny tan hand, and her crying ceases. A deep determination settles into her bones. “I want to keep him.”

“Thea.” Antoine gasps, alarmed, but she looks up at him with pleading eyes.

“Please. Please, Ant, you know I would never ask you anything like this but I-he’s my son.”

And as Antoine takes up a stray scalpel, Thea’s heart shatters all over again.

Thea jerks into a sitting position, gasping for breath. Her hands scramble for the key, feeling it still secure around her neck. Without thinking, she slides her feet into slippers and races from her room. She’s almost to the elevator when someone calls her name.

“Thea?”

It’s Sam, voice raspy from sleep. He’s still in his tactical suit, though without wings and goggles, evidently having been so wiped out he hadn’t changed. They must’ve just gotten back, then.

“Sam,” she replies breathlessly. Thea struggles to tamp down the panic trying to eat her alive as he emerges fully from his bedroom, making his way to her. “I thought you had a mission.”

“Just an in and out thing,” He replies, rubbing his eyes. “Are you alright? It’s 2:30.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m great,” Thea lies, forcing a small laugh. Sam doesn’t look like he believes her, but she presses on. “Just heading to the kitchen, glass of water, you know.”

“Then I’ll join you,” Sam says, taking another step towards her, and Thea’s heart feels ready to burst from her chest.

“No!” Sam looks taken aback. His usually laid-back demeanor is uneasy. Thea gulps, fingers coming back up to twist into the chain of her necklace. “I mean, no, thank you. I also left something, um, downstairs, in my, my office so really, you should go back to bed. Need some rest.”

She forces a laugh, but Sam only sighs, running a hand over his face. “Show me.”

Thea swallows the bile rising in her throat and tries to steady her breathing as he follows her to the elevator. No more words are spoken as they walk down the hallway past the garage, Tony’s lab, and enter the medbay. Thea takes the key from around her neck as they enter the tiny back office. He crosses his arms expectantly as she unlocks the drawer.

The locket nearly slips from her trembling hands, so Sam takes it instead, and Thea can’t find it in her to protest. He opens it, and closes it almost right after, staring at Thea with wide eyes.

“What...the fuck?” Sam whispers, and Thea feels her eyes burn with tears. “Is…is that-”

He struggles to get the words out, and Thea lets the first tears roll as she nods. Sam silently sets the locket back in the drawer and shuts it. “Who?”

Thea takes a deep, shaky breath. An understanding seems to have grown between them, though Thea isn’t sure she wants him to voice it out loud. She squeezes her eyes shut to try to block out the semi-horrified look on his face.

“It’s my son’s.”

Thea swears Sam to secrecy, but he only agrees on the condition that she’ll tell the team as soon as she can.They return to their separate rooms, Thea with the locket clasped securely about her neck. Sure she won’t be able to sleep, not now, not when someone...two someones now know her secret. She opts instead to perch in the bay window of her bedroom, staring out over the city. Thea loses exact track of time as she immerses herself in thoughts, and the sun shines high above the city when FRIDAY’s voice reaches her ears.

“Dr. Triplett, Boss wishes you’d join the team in the living room, please.”

Thea, habitually, tightens her fingers around the key, and now the locket as well. Quickly, she changes from her sleep shirt into a pullover and jeans, opting to head downstairs barefoot. As FRIDAY had said, the entire team is already spread out across the living room. Tony rises to his feet to guide Thea to sit next to him before clearing his throat.

“Birdbrain said you had something to tell us, but I knew if you’d kept something from me it must be serious,” Tony explains, and Thea finds herself nodding. “Didn’t want to uh, make you feel under any more pressure with a conference room.”

Thea nods, hesitating. She takes the beat of silence to look over everyone, feeling almost as if it was the day she’d arrived. Wanda is curled up to Vision, Natasha and Steve taking up the rest of Tony and Thea’s couch. Steve’s sat forward, elbows rested on his knees, already intently listening. Bucky lingers in the kitchen doorway. Rhodey and Sam, too, are on their feet, and when she meets his eyes, Sam gives her an encouraging nod. The surgeon is unable to voice the truth, not without any leeway. She unhooks the locket from her neck and opens it.

The moment Thea does this, gasps and murmurs flood the room. After just a few seconds, once she was sure everyone had seen it’s contents, she closes the locket and gently sets it into her lap. Tony is floundering beside her, but Thea speaks first.

“That is my son’s heart,” She croaks, a little surprised at the brokenness of her voice. She finds herself meeting Sam’s eyes as she speaks, as she hadn’t even explained it to him last night.

“He was stillborn and...I didn’t handle it very well.” Thea continues. She thinks Rhodey mutters an ‘obviously’, but he’s quickly shushed. A sob builds in her throat as she talks, but she fights it. “My brother was there...he um, he had some medical training as well, he...he took out the heart for me, and I healed my son’s body so they wouldn’t suspect anything. He’d never had a heartbeat to begin with s-so nobody said anything. His body was cremated. A year later, my brother died. He was the only person who knew about...about Philip’s heart.”

To Thea’s shock, Natasha reaches out to grab her hand. With her free hand, Thea swipes at stray tears. When Thea looks over at the other woman, Natasha is watching her with a knowing expression. Vision’s voice cracks the moment in two.

“Pardon me but...where was the father?” He asks hesitantly, and Thea laughs bitterly, to their shock.

“Out of the picture. He was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent I met through my brother but...” Thea shakes her head, reminiscing. “He turned out to be undercover Hydra. Said he only knew me for me but, he read files on me long before he even joined S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Natasha is nodding in Thea’s peripheral, and Thea recalls in the back of her mind that Nat had worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. in the past. She must have at least some inkling of what Thea was on about. The younger woman pulls her hand back into her lap gently, to wrap both of them around the locket.

“It doesn’t matter now. He’s dead and irrelevant. But last night, I got a text from an unknown number,” Thea reveals. “It was only one thing but it...it really shook me because yesterday I had looked at Philip’s heart. And then I get that message...‘Funny how the good doctor avoids her powers with friends, but not with family.’”

“And your brother was the only person who knew, but he’s...passed on as well, right?” Steve interjects, and Thea nods. “How did Sam find out?”

Thea fights a smile. Part of her felt...relief. She hadn’t talked about this with anyone before, and never planned to. Even if the team was finding out now, she was glad to have been able to trust Sam first. She takes a deep, slightly shaky breath before going on.

“I had a dream, last night. Or a nightmare, really. I...remembered the day Philip was born. Or, not born, I guess. I don’t know. But the dream and the messages, I was so shaken up and I went to go check on the locket. The key to the drawer it was in is always...” Thea untucks the key around her neck, “but I was so paranoid...Sam caught up with me in the hallway. Had me take him down to show him. I just...I guess I knew it was time to tell someone.”

All at once, Thea’s exhaustion hits her. It’s clear to the other’s that she’s finished sharing. Steve, ever the leader, nods sympathetically and reaches over to pat Thea’s shoulder as he stands.

“Well, you did the right thing,” He states, and the sentiment is followed with murmurs of agreement from the team. “Especially with this...unknown person messaging you.”

“He’s right, DT,” Tony says, speaking for the first time since Thea had sat down. He’s risen to his feet as well, already rubbing his hands together. “In fact, give me your phone. I’ll see if I can’t figure out who’s behind this.”

Thea agrees, though she left her phone in her bedroom, and Tony tells her not to worry. After Thea promises to bring it down to the lab ASAP, the group disperses. Nat pulls her aside with a surprisingly kind smile as she makes towards the elevator.

“Philip for Coulson, right?” The redhead inquires. Thea smiles back, a little embarrassed, but she nods.

“He was one of the one’s who rescued me as a kid,” Thea elaborates as she presses the button for the residential floor. Nat nods, but she’s suddenly bumped by Sam as he slips into the elevator with Thea.

“Sorry, Nat!” He calls out as the doors close. The man spares the buttons a quick once over, but evidently they’re going to the same place. Sam settles in beside Thea without pushing a single one’ she tries to ignore the fact that he’s comfortable enough to stand so close their elbows brush, despite all he’s learned of her. They exit the lift together, not engaging in conversation, but he walks her all the way to her door near the end. Right as she goes to enter, he coughs. Thea turns back to him with a raised brow.

“I know that couldn’t have been easy for you,” Sam tells her. It’s a redundant statement, but the soft quality to his voice prevents Thea from being annoyed. “Steve was right though, because we can...you know, we can help you now.”

Thea bites back a scoff as she pushes open her door and walks inside. True to her instinct, Sam follows.

“I mean with the texts, of course. ‘Cause that’s some creepy shit,” He hastily amends. “Although...I do know a little about PTSD.”

This has Thea stopping in her tracks. She turns around, arms crossed, to meet his eyes again. Sam’s face wears a strange look she can’t read, but she raises a brow as nonverbal permission to go on.

“If you ever...wanted to talk to anyone. Not like, a shrink. Like a...a friend.” He’s nervous, Thea realizes, as he scrubs a hand over the back of his neck and shifts his weight. Despite the tightness gripping her heart, Thea gives him her most appreciative and reassuring smile.

“Thanks, Sam,” She says. He nods, more to himself than anything, and turns to leave as Thea turns back to her dresser. As she picks up her phone, she gasps. “Sam?!”

His footsteps almost echo as a new bout of queasiness washes over Thea. She doesn’t hear what he says as she stares at the screen, barely registering him so close to her as he takes a look.

UNKNOWN NUMBER You know who it is. Return to

the place it all began, for it

is the place that all ends.

#sam wilson #steve rogers #wanda maximoff #tony stark #colonel james rhodes #rhodey #vision #bucky barnes #mcu #marvel fic #mcu fanfic #mine #tgd/carolmaximoffs

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selfmademen · 5 years ago

Text

Top Surgery Experience

Okay, so I said I would do a write up of my top surgery experience and I’ve finally gotten around to it. Uni started right after so I’ve been fairly frazzled.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have! I’ll do my best to answer them.

To start with, I currently live in NSW, Australia. There are a few Australian top surgeons, but as a NSW resident my best bet was Dr Steven Merten, with Pure Aesthetics in Sydney. Because Australia has a public healthcare system I was able to get my top surgery under that scheme. As far as I’m aware Dr Merten is the only top surgeon who offers this surgery through the public system. He works in partnership with Concord Hospital in Sydney, and that’s where I had my surgery. If you go privately there are other options for the hospital you stay at. There are pros and cons to the public system, which I’ll detail below.

Pros:

I paid $500~ out of pocket instead of between $5k and $10k (if you have private health insurance it may cover some)

Since he’s in my state I didn’t have to travel far

He’s one of the most experienced top surgeons in the state

there’s two places for appointments, either at his clinic or at the Macquarie uni rooms

Cons:

because I went publicly he didn’t perform the surgery personally, rather a registrar did. However, he was in the room the entire time overseeing the operation.

because he’s so popular I had to wait a full year from the first consultation to the actual surgery date

it was extremely hard to get onto the wait list due to how popular he is.

the public system is only available to NSW residents over 18

I was lucky in that my GP at the time knew him professionally and called in a favour so that I knew the moment his books were open, and I am forever grateful for that. It is MUCH easier to get an appointment with him through the private system, but that’s a lot more expensive. For me, the pros far outweighed the cons here, and I decided I could wait a year for my surgery. I had also intended to lose weight beforehand, but that didn’t happen. Woops.

Prior to my first consultation I needed a referral both from my GP, and a registered psychologist or psychiatrist detailing my transition and documented dysphoria surrounding my breasts. The first consultation was $300 iirc, and I paid a $100 deposit, so only paid $200 on the day. Medicare also gave me a $100-something rebate.

The first consultation was fairly quick. He asked some questions about my transition, what my expectations were regarding surgery, detailed my options, and explained the procedures. He measured my breasts, but never touched me (I kinda just picked them up and moved them where he asked). He also took a photo of my chest, with my consent.

I didn’t actually hear from them until about three months before my surgery because my details got lost, but USUALLY the hospital will get in contact with you regarding your surgery date, what you should expect, and when your pre-op consultation is. I also had to fill out a pre-op health questionnaire and personal details. Due to my high level of haemoglobin as a side effect of T, I was required to provide them with more recent blood test results, but you may not have to do this. Usually there is also a pre-op appointment with the nurses and anethetist at the hospital, but the nurse I spoke to said that I didn’t need to go if I didn’t have any pressing concerns.

My pre-op consult with Dr Merten was a couple of weeks before my surgery, however, it’s usually around the same time. This one was $100, and I also had to pay $130 for a medical compression vest which I have to wear for up to three weeks post-op. Again, Medicare partially reimbursed my consultation fee, but not the vest.

During this consultation we basically covered the same things, and I also saw a nurse who told me what medications to avoid, and briefed me on post op care. She also gave me my medical vest, wound tape, and some pamphlets.

Some things she covered:

smokers should stop smoking 12 weeks before surgery

you should limit your alcohol intake the week before surgery, and don’t drink alcohol AT ALL during the two days immediately prior to surgery

no herbal medications, asparin, ibuprofen, or other blood thinners for two weeks prior to surgery. IF YOU ARE ON BLOOD THINNERS FOR MEDICAL REASONS THIS MAY BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU.

do not eat or drink anything from midnight the night before your surgery. Morning medication (antidepressants in my case) can be taken with a sip of water.

the night before and morning of surgery I had to shower with a special soap that was provided in order to kill bacteria on my skin.

I did have to call the admissions centre the day before my surgery to confirm my appointment time. For me it was 8:30. Before going in I had a brief interview with a nurse, who took down my details and checked me for allergies and medical conditions. I was given my wrist bands (red, since I have a codeine allergy), and directed up to where I would meet the nurses. There I changed into the operating gown (you can keep your undies on) and compression socks due to my weight.

I was taken to a prep room before the operating theatre where Dr Merten marked my chest. Basically where things would be cut, lipo’d, etc. I was feeling nervous so the anethetist also came in, did my canula and gave me something to relax (don’t know what it was). He was extremely kind and friendly, and said he was honoured to be included in this part of my journey, which I honestly thought was an incredibly sweet thing to say, and I’m very grateful for how he looked after me.

The relaxation shit kinda made me dopey, and pretty much immediately I was wheeled into the theatre. They had me wriggle from the bed onto the table, I nearly fell off, but it was all good. I don’t really remember much from here, but there was some music playing, and the nurses and registrar were setting up.

At this point the anethetist put the mask on and told me to take some deep breaths. I remember it tasting and smelling really weird, and the next thing I know I was waking up in recovery.

I’m not sure how long I was in recovery for because I kept drifting in and out, but they gave me something for the pain and then wheeled me to the ward. I started waking up properly around this time, had a chat with the people transporting me, and by the time I was in the ward I was fully alert (and really needed to pee).

Because of my size and the way the surgery worked out, I did have a few staples at the ends of my incisions, and I also had to put the compression vest on. I also had drains, with bags that needed to be changed every twelve hours. Nurses would also come and take my blood pressure and check that everything was okay and that I wasn’t in too much pain. They were all extremely welcoming and accepting, never misgendered me once, and even double checked my name and pronouns to ensure that everyone knew. My mate was also allowed to stay with me pretty much the whole day until dinner, which really helped me cos I’m bad with hospitals.

After surgery I was stiff and ached a little, but there wasn’t too much pain. I was able to go to the toilet myself, although wiping was very difficult for the first week.

I stayed overnight, and was discharged the next day. They gave me anti-inflammatories, antibiotics, and some opiates to help the pain. I should note here that I do have an extremely high pain tolerance, so outside of days where I pushed myself a bit too far, I generally didn’t need to use them.

I’m unsure if my experience is unusual, as I was able to do pretty much everything immediately post-op. Of course, I’ve been taking it easy, but dressing, sleeping, cooking, moving, has all so far been generally okay. I have had some pain on days where I moved about too much, or sat up too much, but that’s also partially chronic pain flaring up due to my bad back.

I was discharged with my drains still in, as I’m a bleeder. Usually with Dr Merten they’re removed before discharge, but I was sent home with some bags and instructed to change them every 24 hours and keep a record of how much had drained. I think I wound up keeping my drains in for around a week before they were removed.

I went to the medical centre twice to have my dressings changed and drains checked (and eventually removed), and was sent home with a sterile staple remover for my GP to remove my staples with. They’ll be coming out at the end of the week. The drains didn’t hurt when removed, it just felt like an odd tugging sensation. The stitches Dr Merten used are dissolving ones, so no need to get them taken out.

I do have to change my nipple dressings every three days, and the tape on my incisions can stay on for up to a week. The stuff I use is extremely strong and has glue on it, so I’m a bit hesitant to change it on my own (nearly ripped a staple out last time I changed my dressings).

I’m roughly three weeks post-op now, and I have pretty much all my mobility back. Showering is difficult, as is bending over or reaching to one side (tugs on my incisions). There is pain when I do things, but unless something actively tugs at, touches, or puts pressure on my wounds I’m not in any pain. Mostly its just an annoyance at this stage.

I’m still sleeping on my back, although I can lie on my side for short periods of time. There’s some bruising around my armpits where I had liposuction, and there is a small numb patch on my left side. I can’t feel my nipples, but I also couldn’t feel them prior to this so it’s not a huge loss.

I’ve seen some people say that they felt depressed post-op because of a hormone fluctuation, but personally when I saw my chest it felt natural and right. I didn’t cry (not a big crier) and I wasn’t surprised or shocked or… overwhelmed. To me it was my outer body finally reflecting my inner self. I already looked like this in my own mind, so it was just natural that it looks the way it does post-op.

Unfortunately some dysmorphia and self-esteem issues surrounding my weight have resurfaced, but that’s not really related to the top surgery, and it’s something I’m able to work on as I recover.

If there’s something I haven’t covered that you’re curious about, please send an ask! I’ve tried to be as thorough as possible, but its been a few weeks and some details are fuzzy.

#top surgery

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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795

Where is your favorite place to get fries? Hmmm I really like the fries from Jollibee and Bonchon, if we’re talking about fries as a side. But we have a local place called Potato Corner that mainly sells fries and they make the besssssst ones; it’s my go-to snack when I go to the movies or if I just wanna chew on something while at the mall.

What is the most recent article of clothing you’ve purchased? Yellow and black tops with puffed sleeves since they were getting in style, at least before the quarantine.

Have you ever paid for anything with a check? Not my own, obviously; but my mom has given me checks to pay for mine and my sister’s tuition fees back in high school.

Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? So many kids here in the Philippines. The usual situation is that parents would still be climbing the ranks while their kids are little so they’d be under the care of extended family, and for the most part it’s the grandparents who would assume the task. In my case, I was raised by my maternal grandparents and an aunt for my entire childhood.

Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? Yeah, in Grade 7 home economics when we had to. Never made pie on my own time/for leisure.

Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Gabie.

Are there any waterfalls nearby? I guess so. It’s on the other side of the city, but then again that’s only about 15 minutes away and I would say that’s nearby.

What was the last food item you ate? Lumpiang shanghai and rice.

What are your earliest memories of going to see a doctor? Going to the school doctor in my first year of kindergarten to have my eyes checked. I remember being asked to peer into a machine, but I don’t remember what I saw anymore.

Can you hear traffic right now? I could never hear traffic from where I live and for anyone also living in a gated village, this is always the case.

Have you ever pulled a muscle? I may have, but only once or twice.

What did you do last weekend? I hung out with my dog, last Saturday my dad bought a sushi platter to celebrate my thesis getting approved, and last Sunday I collected all of Kimi’s baby photos because I realized I hadn’t looked back on his old pictures for a while. Here’s one that we took when he was two :)

What is your favorite gaming console? The PS2 gave me many of my most cherished memories; and it had badass games, too.

Are you talking to anyone via instant messaging right now? Nope.

Have you kissed someone today? Not since March 7th, eugh.

What is your favorite condiment? Mayonnaise.

Do you have a strong opinion for or against Justin Bieber? He has definitely said and done questionable things both in the past and present that keeps me from rallying behind him 100%, but honestly his music has gotten better over the years lol. My personal favorite is the entire Purpose album.

Have you used a telephone today? I only have to use the telephone when my grandma calls, and the last time I had to do this was when she called on my birthday.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Cooooooffeeeeeeee. The only time I get to drink tea is if it’s a freebie at a hotel or restaurant, but I never buy it for myself.

Have you taken a painkiller today? Yeah. This morning my body gave me signs that let me know I was about to faint – super sweaty, tunnel vision, dizziness, stumbling – and even though I was able to handle it and end up conscious, my head was still being weird a couple of hours later so I drank a Biogesic pill to make it go away.

How many theaters does the closest movie theater from your house have? I honestly can’t remember. I tried checking their website but it shouldn’t be a surprise that they have no data on their cinemas right now.

Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? Only because my parents aren’t big drinkers and they drink like, every six months. The stock of alcohol we’ve constantly had are ones they bought from way way back and they just haven’t consumed. I would drink them myself, but it’s all beer or wine so no thanks.

Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? No, not a thing here. Starbucks did bring it here for a short time last Octoberish? but it was always sold out whenever I’d try to order it, and eventually I just stopped trying.

Have you had a nap today? I took a nap all afternoon so I’ll probably be up very late tonight.

Is there an antique store in your town or city? I’m not ruling it out. If there is, I haven’t heard of it yet.

Have you ever been to a baby shower? Again, not a thing here. It’s such a first world thing hahaha. I do think my generation is gonna be the first one to make baby showers a thing though.

Do you have a hyphenated name or know anyone with one? (eg. Carter-Brown) I don’t have one. I know several people.

What would you wear if you were being taken out to dinner tonight? I’d assume the dinner would take place at home, so I’ll wear a simple dress.

What were the last shoes you wore? A pair of Nikes.

Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? I...don’t think so.

Have you ever had a mojito? I’ve had a sip or two, but I’ve never ordered it for myself.

Do you take your Christmas decorations down before or after New Years? End of January. The Christmas season in the Philippines doesn’t end until then.

What is the first thing you do when you get online? I go on my Facebook to check if I got any notifications while asleep.

How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Technically two, but they’ve been with the same person.

Have you ever been camping in the wilderness? I have not been camping, period.

Do you have any money on you right now? I have my last ₱1000 bill in my wallet. I used to have ₱2500++ but my dad has kept borrowing my money throughout quarantine and now I’m down to my last bill. I honestly can’t complain about it though, it’s not like I can use the money any time soon, plus my allowance is his hard-earned money to begin with.

Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? Only if it comes to fruits or any grandma food like raisins, dates, fruitcake, food for the gods, etc. I dunno if those are food universally loved by grandmas but those are definitely what my lola loves, hence me classifying them as grandma food to make it easier lol.

Have you made a large purchase today? Not since Christmas.

What was the last candy you ate? Does Fererro Rocher count as candy? :/ I had one two or three weeks ago.

How often do you eat Subway? Once every two years, tops. It’s not my restaurant of choice and I only ever ate there when I would drive Gabie to her school extra early, and it’s the only place that would be open at 6:30 AM.

Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? I have not.

What color is your toothbrush? Maroon and white.

Do you have gluten intolerance or anyone who does? No and no.

Have you ever cried while watching a movie? For sure.

First thing that catches your eye when you look out the nearest window? The curtains covering the window.

Have you ever had a migraine? Occasionally. It only happens when I’m extremely stressed or if I don’t realize that I’ve been pushing myself too hard, which doesn’t happen a lot.

Do you have a gym membership? No.

Have you locked your front door today? Yep.

Have you ever slept in a car overnight? Yes. The thing about my mom is that she doesn’t let me stay out criminally late if I plan to go home, but by some weird reasoning on her end, I can stay out criminally late if I say I’ll be sleeping over at someone else’s which to me has always been like ??????? LMAO so anyway, that’s always been my story if I have plans to drink out, party, etc – that I’ll be sleeping over at a friend’s. But the truth is I don’t always have a friend that I can sleep over with, so for nights like those I have to sleep in the car.

Have you washed the dishes today? Just my own.

Have you ever fainted? I’ve only been extremely close to fainting, to the point where people have to carry me because my legs are jelly. But I haven’t lost consciousness.

Have you been awake before sunrise today? No. I’ve been waking up quite late during quarantine.

When was the last time you went to the bank? I’ve never had to go to the bank. If I do, it’s just to accompany my mom who will sometimes withdraw money while we’re out.

Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? Yes.

Have you ever used a leaf blower? We don’t even have one of those. We have someone in the village who gets paid to use one.

#survey #surveys

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scige-alt · 5 years ago

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LIANA LIBERATO / CIS FEMALE — don’t look now, but is that saige beaumont i see? the 21 year old criminal psychology / linguistics student is in their sophomore year and she is a rochester alum. i hear they can be blithe, energetic, evasive and irrational, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet she will make a name for themselves living in murphy’s beach homes. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

snjdfg these took so long i’m so sorry but anyways please LIKE and i’ll slide into yr IMs for plots !!

TW DRUG USE, ALCOHOLISM, IMPLIED ABUSE, ADDICTION, HIT & RUN.

a e s t h e t i c s

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): n/a so give her some uwu

b.o.d. - july 7th, 21 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5��7″ !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: bisexual w/ a very slight preference towards masc-presenting folks

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert beaumont, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in – she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends – saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier – she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous – a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not – introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her – which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism – it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it – she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either – but, by some chance – and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of life, next thing she knew, she was a student at lockwood university.

she was involved in a getaway chase from an armed robbery at a bank which then turned into a hit-and-run in washington when she was on the brink of turning eighteen. it was a situation she had no control over, not knowing her role in the scheme until it was too late to turn back. the victim survived but saige’s family has been paying the medical fees since then. her parents haven’t spoken to her since.

ever since the accident, saige has avoided causing too much trouble - generally staying out of headlines and tabloids, partially in fear of her parents finally cutting ties, and partially in fear of doing something that’ll cost another person their life.

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her – she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes–reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very…mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like…she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned…like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like…four cars…..she has them all on campus…..she prolly isn’t suppose to…but she does…one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like…quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly – she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by … the situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what…it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

it’s honestly a bit of a problem ?? she blurs the lines between friendship and Something, Anything More too often and with too many people b/c she just. wants to be loved. but there is never enough !

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like…prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, where they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like…she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

…somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

the drug dealer she keeps sleeping with even though she can just … pay for her shit. b/c it’s funner this way !

just … people where their like … relationship status is Blurred and it’s like, are they a thing? are they not? b/c she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to !

please. take her. give me connections.

#huntingtonintro #drugs tw #addiction tw #alcoholism tw #implied abuse #hit and run tw

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lastsonlost · 6 years ago

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‘Goes to the whole problem with disability issues with Title IX’

A “fist bump” and a selfie may have ended Marcus Knight’s educational career right as it started.

The student, who has autism, cerebral palsy and a shunt to relieve fluid pressure on his brain, was not allowed to defend himself against allegations in two Title IX investigations this past fall, his mother told The College Fix.

Aurora Knight has raised more than half of the money to cover legal fees through a GoFundMe campaign as she challenges the sexual-misconduct findings on her son’s record.

Though Saddleback College lifted Marcus’s suspension a day before a hearing last month, it has thus far refused to remove the findings from his record, Aurora wrote in an update to the campaign Wednesday.

Her son (below) has limited expressive language capabilities and cannot negotiate social situations as easily as others, she told The College Fix.

Though he receives academic accommodations for his disabilities, he was not offered accommodations in the Title IX process, Aurora wrote in an email. “When we look at individuals with limited social skills, we cannot expect that they responded the same way as a typical individual.”

Former Drake University trustee Thomas Rossley, whose learning-disabled son is suing the university for a similar ordeal, told The Fix in a phone interview that Marcus’s case “goes to the whole problem with disability issues with Title IX.”

“Most schools don’t even let the students know how to ask for accommodations within a disciplinary process,” said Rossley, whose own “Title IX retaliation” claims against Drake were dismissed in court last month.

“So these students don’t know that they can even get accommodations within the disciplinary process,” whether the accused student or the accusing student, he said.

‘Stop calling it inappropriate. He’s just trying to make a friend’

Aurora Knight laid out her narrative of the allegations in a phone interview with The Fix.

The first incident occurred in the first week of September when Marcus was in the Student Services office and asked a female student working there if he could “fist bump” her. She agreed but soon filed a Title IX complaint.

The next week Aurora and Marcus were asked to meet with the school’s Disabled Students Programs and Services coordinator, who allegedly called the fist bump “inappropriate behavior.” Aurora told The Fix that Marcus did not “bump” anything other than the female’s knuckles. (The Fix has reached the coordinator but that person has not been available for a phone interview as of Thursday night.)

His mother told the coordinator that Marcus had been at the office seeking campus employment. The official allegedly said that would be “totally pointless” because Marcus was “obviously incapable” and should be taking adult disability classes instead of college classes.

Though the coordinator said the incident would not go on her son’s record if the behavior stopped, according to Aurora, the mother became aggravated by the description of a consensual fist bump as “inappropriate.”

MORE: Judge approves Rossley Jr. suit against Drake

She asked the coordinator “Did he touch her? Did he hug her? Did he follow her? Did he try to get her phone number? Did he expose himself?” When the coordinator allegedly said no to each, Aurora said she responded: “Then stop calling it inappropriate. He’s just trying to make a friend.”

Aurora explained to Marcus that the female student did not want to be his friend, and he agreed not to interact with her anymore.

A month later, an official who served as both vice president of student services and Title IX coordinator called the Knights into another meeting – with police present – because the female student had reported the incident as sexual harassment, according to Aurora. This official did not respond to a query from The Fix.

The student had changed her story to say Marcus hugged her, sat very close to her, grabbed her with one hand, and with the other tried to get her hands onto his upper thighs. Aurora said that did not seem physically possible, given that the female student had been sitting behind the counter. Marcus acted out what he did – a two-handed fist bump – at that meeting.

Ordered to bring a ‘personal student assistant’

Aurora and her son were never allowed to formally defend him throughout this process, and didn’t hear back from the school between meetings except for an email from the coordinator recommending life-skills classes for Marcus, the mother told The Fix.

College staff present at the October meeting had Marcus sign an informal resolution of sexual harassment and told him not to have contact with the female student, according to Aurora.

Because of his autism, Marcus did not understand that he could not apologize to the student in person. When he approached her in the cafeteria, “everybody was pointing at him” because the female student “had been telling everybody he was weird or dangerous,” Aurora said.

Though he left the cafeteria before reaching the student, she filed another complaint against Marcus, his mother said. When Aurora complained that the student was spreading around rumors about Marcus, Aurora said an official told her in so many words that “gossiping was not against the law.”

MORE: Americans with Disabilities Act may cover retaliation against Rossley Sr.

For the first time in his life, Marcus was ordered to bring a “personal student assistant” with him to classes. Even though Aurora was paying this assistant, sometimes the person would suddenly cancel and Aurora would either have to leave work to attend class with her son or he could not go, Aurora said.

Marcus racked up too many absences to pass his English class last fall and only passed another with a D, his mother told The Fix. She said an administrator told her in the spring that he should be put on academic probation, even though his grade-point average did not merit it.

“My son works very hard, very, very hard,” Aurora said over the phone:

He’s a hard-working kid. He’s aware of his limitations. That’s why he works harder. ‘Cause he wants to show people that he can do it. … Yes, he has so many disadvantages, but look how many kids with no disadvantage, are no[t] willing to work as hard as he is. He just wants to show like he’s like everybody else. He just wants to make friends.

youtube

SO THIS IS YOUR EVIL RAPE MONSTER? WTF

Manufactured issues’ that sent him to the ER

The second incident occurred in October. (Aurora was not sure whether it happened before or after the October meeting about the first incident.)

Marcus was involved with the college’s musical theater program, and wanted to ask a female student in the program if he could take a selfie with her. According to Aurora, her son’s assistant approved him asking the question, and the female student said yes.

Aurora said that her son took two “burst pictures,” which take 100 photos with each tap of the button. She provided The Fix a copy of one of the photos. It shows Marcus halfway out of the frame, with his arm extended and his hand behind the female student’s head. She’s seated and smiling.

He was touching her shoulder with the tips of his fingers, according to Aurora. “Marcus has [cerebral palsy] on his left side. When he extend his arm, his finger automatically get [sic] hard. It’s a neurologic thing,” she said. “But it was not grabbing. It’s just how he is.”

MORE: Title IX doesn’t protect Rossley Sr. from retaliation, judge rules

According to a charge letter dated Dec. 1, the student reported the incident as sexual harassment, claiming that Marcus “forcefully placed [his] hand on her shoulder while taking a selfie with her.” The Title IX coordinator also said the student accused Marcus of having “followed her around” in October and taking “over 300 unauthorized pictures of her.”

In a response letter, Aurora listed several “corrections” to the allegations, saying Marcus did not take pictures “of” the student but “with” and “authorized by” her, that one time. She explained the burst function on the camera and said he accidentally turned it on. His disability made it “physically impossible” to do what the student claimed, Aurora said.

The prior investigation resulted in Marcus “struggling with anxiety and depression” and spending a night in the emergency room because of stress headaches, she wrote. She called the allegations “manufactured issues.”

18 character witnesses

When the Knights were called into another meeting with the Title IX coordinator and the police, they weren’t allowed to present evidence, Aurora told The Fix. The coordinator allegedly ordered Marcus to delete the pictures on his phone, and objected to Aurora doing it for him, though she had power of attorney.

Asked by The Fix what rationale the official gave for deleting them, and whether it was put in writing, Aurora repeated that the official said to delete them. The college did not answer this factual question when asked by The Fix.

Aurora received a letter March 28 informing her that Marcus was found responsible and suspended, and she appealed days later. She told The Fixnone of their evidence had been taken into consideration.

MORE: Saddleback prof rips down campus 9/11 ‘Never Forget’ posters

With a hearing date set for June 5, Aurora looked for pro bono representation but couldn’t find any. “I started checking for lawyers, but, you know, money. I’m a single mother and it’s not easy,” she told The Fix. With the funds raised through GoFundMe and a loan, she was able to pay a lawyer’s retainer.

Aurora said she and Marcus planned to bring 18 character witnesses to the hearing, even though she had to pay for the lawyer’s services with each. The college canceled it the day before and removed the suspension, leaving the sexual-misconduct findings in his record and requiring his assistant to accompany him on campus.

The college said it would give her an explanatory letter to alleviate the effect on his record, but Aurora said she has yet to receive it: “Marcus is now confused and scared, knowing that people do not understand him at all.”

‘Disproportionate amount’ with disabilities in Title IX cases

“Due to student confidentiality requirements I’m unable to comment on this specific matter,” Jennie McCue, director of marketing and communications at Saddleback College, told The Fix when asked for the college’s side.

“However, when a complaint is filed, the college provides both the complaining and responding parties an opportunity to tell their sides of the story, and addresses the complaint according to evidence,” she wrote in an email.

The procedures for student conduct violations vary depending on the evidence and possible discipline, though the evidence standard is preponderance, McCue said.

“In general,” not commenting on any case, a “college discipline officer” will ask a student under investigation to respond to allegations, and give the student written notice if discipline is to be issued.

For suspension and expulsion, the student can appeal to a hearing panel, and then to the college president. For expulsion, the student can appeal the president’s decision to the board of trustees, McCue said.

Rossley, whose son went through a similar Title IX proceeding, told The Fixthat students like his son and Marcus need advocates in a Title IX hearing for it to be just.

“There’s also a disproportionate amount of students that have disabilities, students that are a minority (Marcus being one and my son being one), students who are foreign getting caught up in these tribunals,” Rossley said. (Marcus is half-black and Rossley’s son is Latino.)

But the former trustee thinks that the tendency of schools to not provide accommodations for students with disabilities may be changing.

Rossley pointed to a white paper issued in March 2017 by higher education insurance provider United Educators. It explained the importance of accommodating disabilities in Title IX and making the availability of accommodations clear to students involved.

https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/47278/

#title ix

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dammn-dean · 6 years ago

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Professional Help

Welp, no one asked for this but I had the idea today and I had to write it. I hope you all like! As usual, it’s unbeta’d and briskly written so all mistakes are mine! Next part of Eye Contact will be coming soon!

Summary: This is an AU, where Steve is a masseuse with a specialty in pleasing woman.

Pairing: Steve Rogers (Masseuse!AU) x Reader

Words: Almost 4k

Warnings: Paying for sexual favors, not following the rules, smutty, 18+ only please

(GIF isn’t mine but this the outfit I’m imagining in this)

“Y/N, if you’re having that tough of a time finding someone else to give you what you need, you should call that number I gave you a few months back.” Your friend tried helping, like she often did.

“I dunno, Kate. I’m just so weird about the whole thing.” You stabbed at the salad in front of you, trying to hurriedly eat some lunch before duty called.

“I know it sounds crazy and it’s a bit expensive, but it’s a great stress reliever. The massage is always amazing and of course the orgasm doesn’t hurt.” Kate beamed at you before popping a fry from her plate in her mouth.

You nervously looked around, hoping no one over heard your conversation. You were in the cafeteria of the hospital you both worked at, complaining about things and somehow the conversation ended up here. You didn’t have time to date, or put much effort into finding a great sexual partner, so you settled for one-night stands here and there, that always left you wanting more.

“I’ve went a hand full of times, Sam is incredible. Big soft hands, dark skin, easy on the eyes, I could get the extension to him specifically if you’d like?” Kate was just trying to help, but you did not want the same man to service you that previously did the same to your friend.

“Definitely don’t want that. I told you I would think about going, just drop it for now please?” You stood and grabbed your trash, Kate nodded and you two went right back to work as nothing happened.

It only took a couple more weeks and yet another man that couldn’t make you cum before you called the number and made an appointment at Pure Bliss Massages. Now you were sitting in the waiting area, sipping cucumber water and feeling like you were at any other day spa. Well, technically it was like any other day spa but there was another aspect to it that not everyone knew about. If you knew the right people, you would also know there were some male masseuses that worked here that, for a fee, would also give you an orgasm.

No penetration, no kissing or anything like that, just a massage with an orgasm at the end. You could handle that right? You got here 10 minutes before the appointment, where a very friendly woman at the front desk had you sign a waiver, letting you know that if you ever felt uncomfortable all you had to do was say and your masseuse would stop instantly. You were only a bit embarrassed by the fact that you were here, doing this, but you shoved those feelings down. Nothing wrong with coming to a professional for your needs right? After going over the rules, she had asked you to head to the waiting area for a bit, have a water and she’d come get you when he was ready for you.

“Y/N?” The sweet lady from earlier called your name, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Follow me right this way, Steve is ready for you.” She smiled friendly at you, then you sat the water you had been sipping from on the table in front of you.

You stood and grabbed your purse then followed after her. You heels clapped against the linoleum along with hers down the hallway, you stopped at the end of the hallway where she gestured to the door to the left. She held out a hand, inviting you in, as she opened the door for you.

“Get undressed, then lay under the sheet, front side down.” She showed you were to put your clothing then pulled the sheet back to show you the comfy towel underneath that you’d be laying on, then tapped the pillowed area your face would be resting on.

“Steve will knock before he enters, to make sure you are ready to begin. When he comes in you’re more than welcome to look at him but some people don’t want to do that, completely up to you. Any questions?” She waited for you to nod in understanding before she exited the room, telling you to ‘Enjoy’ on the way out.

“Here goes nothing.” You said under your breath. You took your clothes off and folded them neatly before placing them where she said to put your clothes, you put your heels on the ground beside the counter. You slid under the cool sheet, your body was trembling a bit. You weren’t sure it it was from the cool room, the nervous energy you were feeling, or just the whole experience maybe.

You laid there for a couple minutes, with your head in the hole, you didn’t wanna look at this man, did you? After you decided there was no way you’d be able to do this whole thing and not even know what the guy looked like you turned your head to the side. That’s when you heard the soft knock on the door.

“Come in.” Your voice was so quiet, you were worried he hadn’t heard you.

You heard the door knob twist, guess he did hear you. Then Steve let himself into the room, locking it behind him before turning to you. You were absolutely blown away, you assumed the masseuse would be attractive to a degree, but you were not prepared. When his back was to you, you quickly took in his muscular upper half, the thin plain white shirt he was wearing, albeit at least a half size too small, wasn’t leaving much to the imagination. When he turned to you, you quickly took in his features, blonde hair, blue eyes, beautiful soft smile on his cleanly shaven face, with a sharp jaw. Biceps, chest, everything about him was just pure muscle and you weren’t sure you were up for this much anymore.

“Y/N?” He asked, his kind eyes meeting yours.

“Yes.” You barely got the word out, it was barely more than a whisper.

“Wonderful, well I’m Steve. I’m going to be taking care of you today. If at any point you want me to stop, or you’re uncomfortable just tell me. I promise that I’m 100% here to make you feel good and for you to enjoy your massage. Okay?”

“Okay.” You answered before placing your head into the hole in the massage chair, you could feel the heat on your cheeks and didn’t really want to add to the embarrassment of this whole situation.

He softly clapped his hands together, “Let’s get started shall we?”

You heard him shuffling around the room, watched through the hole as the lights dimmed, soft spa-like music started to play to fill the silence. You watched as his feet were right in your line of sight, you felt him pull the sheet from your back, folding it so your entire back was exposed to him. Your body shivered from the exposure then heard the pump of a dispenser and him working the oil in his hands warming it.

He didn’t say another word before his hands descended to your back, lightly rubbing, letting you get a feel for the whole thing. It had been so long since you’d taken the time to get a proper massage, and the feel of his very large and warm hands working on your stiff muscles made all of this worth it all ready.

“Are you here for relaxation only or is there a certain area that’s been bothering you?” Steve asked as he moved from the head of the table to the left, to work the tissue there more.

“Oh, I uh- I guess just relaxation.” You weren’t really sure what to say, he knew why you had came here specifically but he wanted to make sure everything else was pleasurable for you too.

He worked on your left side a while, noting the spots you flinched at or involuntarily would react to, making sure to give your body what it needed. He grabbed your arm and massaged it up and down, over and over. Before moving on to your palm, using his thumbs to rub your over worked hands. He bent your elbow, forearm against your back. A sort of kinky feel to the move, but he started to use his elbow to deeply massage your shoulder and you groaned out.

“Too hard?” Steve asked before continuing.

“No, it’s great.” You heard your groan and you wanted to feel ashamed by the noise, but you knew that you’d make worse noise later on.

Steve smiled and nodded, although you couldn’t see him. He worked on that side a bit longer before he went back around the top of the table. He began the same thing to your right side as he had done to your left. Steve was incredible, you had barely even begun and you were already putty in his hands.

“Have you been doing this a long time?” He was so talented with his hands, he had to have been a masseuse for a while.

Steve let out a small chuckle that made your heart race for some reason, and you hoped he didn’t notice.

“Well if you mean this specific style of massaging, maybe a year. I’ve been a masseuse for about 5 though.” He answered honestly, barely anyone ever small talked with him, but he could tell you were nervous and thought maybe the small talk helped with that.

You hadn’t even thought about your question fully, “I’m sorry I just meant you’re very good with your hands, I didn’t mean to pry into your life.” You tried to turn your head to meet his eyes but his hand went up to your neck, soothing the tense muscles.

“Don’t worry about it, just relax, doll.” Steve’s gentle words calmed you enough to place your face back down.

His hand worked your neck a moment longer, before returning to your right side.

“What do you do for a living? You seem to carry a lot of tension in your shoulder area.” Steve had done this long enough to assume you had a pretty stressful job.

“Oh, I’m a nurse practitioner.”

“So you like helping people? Making sure that everyone is taken care of, except for you huh?” Well he hit the nail on the head with that one.

His hand descended under the sheet, to rub the right cheek of your ass. You seized up a bit at that, you knew where this was headed but the heat of his palm, touching an intimate part of you still had you on edge.

Steve felt your apprehension, “Relax, just let me take care of you. You deserve it, Y/N.”

You squeezed your eyes together, wiling yourself to let go. Steve was right, you did deserve this.

When he felt you relax under his touch his other hand pumped a bit more oil into it before warming it in his hands and going back to rub the muscles of your ass again.

“Do you mind if I pull the sheet away for now?” Steve wanted to make sure you were comfortable but he knew this would be much more enjoyable for you if he actually got to give it his all.

You nodded a yes, “You gotta say it verbally doll, I need to know it’s what you want.”

“Yes, it’s fine.” You were a bit worried about being bare in front of him, but you chose to ignore that nagging though and focus on this beautiful man’s hands working over your body.

He slowly removed the sheet, placing in on the counter next to you both. His hands quickly returned to you, rubbing the soft flesh a bit more before he worked his way down, dipping lightly between your legs, making you gasp. He didn’t stay there long though before he continued his decent down your legs. Rubbing the muscles all down your legs, to your feet where he spent more than enough attention at them. His thumb brushed over a ticklish spot, making you giggle and pull your foot away a bit.

“Ticklish?” Steve’s voice was traced with a smile, and you chanced a small glance over your shoulder at him.

His biceps were constantly moving as he worked your other foot over, paying as much attention to it as the other. He just wasn’t fair, you weren’t sure how you were suppose to go back to normal life after this.

“Lil’ bit, sorry.” You gave him a small smile.

“Nothing to be sorry for, pretty girl.” Steve wasn’t suppose to compliment or make comments about his clients appearance, but he just couldn’t help himself.

Your cheeks were on fire again, you quickly returned your face to the pillow, you could feel how wet your were getting and you only hoped he couldn’t tell or if he did he didn’t think you were pathetic. If he noticed, it didn’t stop him any. Once he was done with your feet he worked his hands back up your thighs, spreading them a little as he worked his hands up.

Your breath hitched at the sudden spread of your legs, but when his hands were right under your ass cheeks he stilled.

“You still okay?” His voice was soft, making sure you still wanted this.

“Yes.”

You didn’t get a chance to say anything else cause one of his thick digits ran along your folds. Your body reacted by jumping at the touch, you were so pent up and worried this would be over all too soon. Steve lightly brushed a finger up and down, never giving you too much pressure, it wasn’t time for that yet. He teased you a bit longer, until your body was thrumming with need then he pulled his hand from you. You groaned out at the loss making Steve chuckle. You heard the sheet being grabbed by him, and you pulled your eyes up to him. He was holding the sheet high enough to block his vision of you.

“Roll over to your back and move down the table some. I’ll put the sheet back on you for now.” Steve explained, you had forgotten that you normally rolled over during massages.

“Okay.” You wanted to say more, but you were on edge and just couldn’t make your brain think much more.

You softly rolled to your side, then your back, you were a bit shaky and didn’t want to move too quickly. Afraid you’d do something, like fall off the table, you just couldn’t let that happen.

Without saying anything else Steve gently laid the blanket back down on you, tucking in the sides under your body. His eyes were on yours, the light was dim and you were grateful for that. Now that you were fully facing him, you were a wreck, you chewed on your bottom lip nervously.

“So do you work at a hospital or a private practice or what?” Steve hoped to shed your nerves a little and talking with you earlier seemed to work so it was worth a shot.

His hands were on your shoulders, somehow the feeling much different now, even thought he had already done something similar while you were on your belly. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the feeling.

“I work at Mercy General, upstate.” His hands moved from your shoulders, up your scalp, to your temples, all the places you didn’t know you needed rubbed until he was doing it.

“Oh yeah? I live near there. Came a long way to come here then?” His word held a pun but you were in no state to decipher it.

“So worth it.” Your eyes opened slowly and met his bright blue ones, his charming face held a smirk.

“I’m glad you think so, it’ll only get better from here out doll.” His words held a promise and you shivered and the statement.

He then pulled his hands from your hair and you heard more oil being pumped and warmed before you felt him skimming along your chest, above the blanket, almost in question. Making sure you were okay, yet again.

“Please.” You just wanted some relief, and the thought of his warm hands on your breasts almost set you off right then and there.

Steve’s hands moved under the blanket to palm at both of your breasts at the same time. He paid attention to them equally, he never tugged at the nipples or anything. Just used his oiled up hands to roughly massage the mounds, making you a panting mess. Steve was suppose to spend time massaging your arms more then your feet again, back up your legs before he was suppose to give you what you came here for, but he wasn’t sure he would make you wait that long.

“Do you want me to finish the massage or are you ready for me to make you cum?” Steve was a little blunt, and he hoped you wouldn’t mind. He didn’t put much thought into the wording, wanting you to know he could tell you needed this.

“Please just let me cum, Steve.” You sounded so needy, from him teasing you earlier and now him playing with your breasts, you just couldn’t bare it much longer.

“I got you doll, spread your legs for me?” Steve gave you a knowing look as he went to the right of you and started to pull the blanket up from your feet. Showing more and more of you, only stopping before your pussy was completely visible to him.

You didn’t answer verbally, you just slowly spread your legs as you felt one of his hands urging you open for him. His eyes were on you, judging your reactions to make sure you were comfortable the entire time. The back of his knuckles brushed against your folds making you shudder at the touch.

“Can I see you, or would you prefer staying covered up?” Steve didn’t have to see you, he knew he could make you cum one way or another but he selfishly just wanted to see.

His fingers were softly brushed against you the whole time, waiting for your answer. A minute passed and you never said anything, Steve didn’t want to push you so he just went on. He applied more pressure on that bud that needed his touch all night.

“You can see me.” You moaned out, the idea of him watching you almost turned you on more than what he was doing to you.

Steve used the hand that wasn’t in between your legs to push the sheet up and over your hips, he drew in a breathe. You didn’t notice, your labored breathing and heart racing was all your brain was registering.

”Pretty girl.” Steve said once more, this time your hips bucked up, needing more from him and his words and knowing eyes were pushing you closer and closer.

“Please.” Steve pulled his eyes from your sex to look at your face, you were clearly right on the verge.

Steve’s finger dipped into your wet hole, just a little bit to gather some slick then he used three fingers to rub against your clit at a fast pace.

You were quietly moaning out now at a rapid pace. You had enough sense of mind to keep yourself kind of quiet, seeing as you were in a semi-public place. He felt so good, he knew what he was doing, working you like he’d done this exact thing to you hundreds of times. You felt the middle finger of his other hand probing at your hole, teasing you. You wanted him to finger you so bad, those long thick fingers were perfect and obviously skilled. You knew he wasn’t allowed to do so, but the idea was ever present in your head.

Steve watched your hips wind a circle, searching out for more. He knew what you needed and with a ‘Fuck it’ thought, he plunged a finger into your dripping hole, crooking it to where he hoped that little bundle of nerves was, and boom he found it.

“Oh my god!” You nearly screamed out, cumming instantly.

Your body writhed, eyes squeezed so tight from the best orgasm you had ever had.You had spots in your vision, all while your body was shuddering and shaking from the aftershocks of what Steve had just done to you.

Before your eyes opened Steve took the time to adjust the erection in his pants, tucking it up in the waist band of his khakis, he wasn’t suppose to react this way but you coming undone the way you just had from him was bound to have an effect on him. He pulled the sheet down over your bottom half, not wanting you to feel overly exposed to him after the fact.

“I thought there was no penetration.” You got out between labored breathes.

Steve instantly got nervous, thought you were going to complain and get him fired. He really needed this job and honestly he wasn’t sure what had came over him.

“I’m sorry about that, I know it isn’t in the rules and if I made you uncomfortable by doing so-” But you cut him off with a laugh.

“Are you kidding me? That’s exactly what I needed, that was incredible.” You gushed.

“I won’t tell, if you don’t.” Your eyes met his, and you had a silly grin on your face.

Steve let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you.”

”No, really thank you. No idea how bad I needed that.” You sat up awkwardly on the table, holding the sheet to your chest. You weren’t really sure what was suppose to happen next.

“Well maybe I’ll see you again.” Steve smiled down at your.

“Maybe so Steve, we’ll have to see, won’t we?” You knew you weren’t going to be able to quit him, at least not anytime soon.

I’m just going to tag all the people that asked for Eye Contact cause I don’t have any Steve or even just Marvel tags (Seeing as this is my first Steve fic).

TAGS: @waywardbaby @mannls @msruchita @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @airixaram @lexie10123 @bucky-plums-barnes @bucky-to-my-barnes @bexboo616 @ladywintersoldat (I think you may need to adjust settings) @wishingforahome @josiejosie0 @technolilly @gabby913 @sonotalice @owhatshername1 @alexalltimelow

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel #steve rogers au #reader insert

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financiallymint · 7 years ago

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Student Guide to Credit Cards

I’ve met way too many students who have no idea what credit cards do and how to use them. Worse, I’ve met a few that have suffered the consequences: falling into bad debt. And the financial entities love to keep it that way, simply because bad debt = more money in the banks’ pockets = happy banks. Yes, the banks prey on the ignorant, which is why it’s so important to understand what the credit card shebang is all about.

The structure of this guide will be as follows:

What is a credit card?

Benefits of using credit cards

How student can take advantage of them

Steps to acquire your first credit card

How to improve your credit score

Resources

Let’s get started!

WTF is a credit card?

Put simply, a credit card is a piece of plastic (looks just like a debit card) that you use to buy stuff. On a debit card, you use your money saved in your bank. On a credit card, this is borrowed bank money. The bank kindly (or not) lends you money every month, you use it, and then you pay it back at the end of the month. Sounds pretty nice? It is, until you don’t pay it back at the end of the month. If you don’t, the bank starts charging interest and next time you’re able to pay back the borrowed money you have to pay some additional ‘fee’ = interest and charges. This is usually a percentage and accumulates over time. This is how banks make their money and that’s why they want you to get into debt. Not so kind anymore.

Different credit cards have different limits you can borrow. As a student, the limits are pretty low since we don’t have regular incomes and one month can vary a lot from the other (as in ‘will I be able to eat this month?’). In the UK, student credit cards limits are usually around £500 a month.

So now you understand what is a credit card. But what does all the weird lingo on the application mean?

APR (Annual Percentage Rate): This is the percentage of interest we were talking about before. Say your credit card has a limit of £500 and the APR is 22%. That month you eat too many sausage rolls and only pay back £400. The rest of the £100 you have to pay at an interest of 22%, which means you’ll have to pay back £122 instead of £100. Bit painful.

Minimum Payment: This is the minimum you need to pay every month in order to not get charged additional fees. It will be calculated every month including the interest and the amount you owe. If you don’t make the minimum payment you’ll have to pay extra and it could affect your credit score negatively (see below).

Credit Score: It’s a bit like a personal money score: how well can we trust you with money? (very Black Mirror!). If you’re someone who fails to pay back their credit card in full or is constantly in debt, you’ll have a low credit score. If you’re good at paying back, you’re considered a trusted member of society and this can highly benefit you in the future. More on this later.

Annual fee: Just as it says, an annual fee is an additional fee you pay simply for using the credit card. It’s a specific amount and just gets charged to your account. Another way for the banks to make some £££.

Interest-free: Banks love to attract people with the big words ‘interest-free’. It varies between ‘0% interest’ and ‘interest-free’ but just means that for a certain period, 6 months or 1 year, you won’t have to pay interest on the money you owe. Suddenly those £100 don’t budge and you just have to pay back £100, until the 0% period ends.

Additional charges: More charges = more money for banks. You’ll find more charges when transferring from one credit card to another, withdrawing from an ATM and even more ‘penalty fees’ when not paying back the full amount at the end of the month. Suddenly those £122 become £150: and that, my friends, is how you accumulate debt.

Benefits of using credit cards

Although I may have painted credit cards as pure evil, there are some benefits to using those little pieces of plastic. The first thing to consider however, is that you use the credit card wisely and only overspend if absolutely necessary. Got it? Now onto the benefits.

1. Improving your credit score/rating

You can use a credit card solely for the purpose of improving your credit score. Why do you want a good credit score? Because this is the score that banks use to see if you’re trustworthy enough to handle loaned money. A high credit score means personal loans, mortgages, car loans and more credit cards. If you’re good at paying back your credit cards, you’re more likely to get a mortgage or a car loan in the future. See below for other ways to improve your credit score.

2. Protection

This one is pretty important. If you spend more than £100 on a credit card on a specific item (TV, laptop, etc), you can earn ‘protection’ from the bank or credit card company if it breaks down or turns out to be faulty. This can mean a refund or a replacement of the purchased item.

3. Rewards

If you choose a good credit card you can earn rewards and cashback on them. The rewards range from travel miles (a big thing in the US) to discounts in a shop. Cashback means you literally get your money back on specific purchases (usually this is like 1% but still).

4. Practice

Credit cards are great financial practice when used correctly. The practice teaches you the importance of budgeting and keeping track of your money. You also get a feel of how banks work and what is most important to them (steady income, credit score, etc). You’re also learning the dangers of debt and how easily it accumulates. And remember that you’re in college: if you make a mistake, learn from it, correct it, and don’t make it again. The world won’t come falling down (unless we’re running out of beer).

How students can take advantage of credit cards

Normal credit cards often require a person to have a stable salary, a permanent residence and credit card history, which makes it hard for students. However, there are still options out there and getting started soon means building a good credit score early on.

Banks and other companies may also offer something called a ‘student credit card’, which means credit cards for people just starting out or who qualify as a student. In the UK you need to have a ‘Student Bank Account’ with your bank before you can apply for the credit card.

Student credit cards usually have no annual fees and have some pretty cool rewards (cinema, travel, etc), although high interest rates (but we’re only getting them to pay back in full, right?!). You won’t have a very large amount to start with each month (usually around £500), but eventually you’ll get to switch to a normal credit card and take advantage of those benefits.

But you don’t always need to get a student credit card from a bank, you can also get them from different shops and companies, which is why it’s always good to do a bit of research. Check the Resources down below for more info.

Steps to acquire your first credit card

1. Research

Check the resources down below, do some Google searching, see what your bank offers.

Look out for good rewards or cashback, and even the 0% interest just in case you ‘make a rookie mistake’ and pay back a day late. .

2. Check your credit score

If this is your first credit card then you most likely won’t have a credit score (unless your parents put you on their credit card or you’ve taken out a loan before). You can use platforms like Equifax or Experian to find out your score. You’ll pay a small fee and see your entire credit history (totally Black Mirror).

3. Apply

After doing your research and seeing what credit card you’re eligible for, you can actually apply. The steps will be on the bank’s or company’s website, and will likely include sending certain documents by post.

4. Understand the WHY

If you’re credit card is denied (happened to me), try and find out why. Here are some possible reasons:

You’ve got a high personal loan (this does NOT include student loans)

You’re not paying back your other credit cards in full

You’re applying to too many credit cards and loans

Delinquencies! Crimes!

You’re income is too low

You have too many credit cards

You have a short credit history (most students)

Unstable work history (annoying to students, again)

Do some hustling. Ask the company/bank why you got denied and how you could increase your chances of getting approved. Annoy them until they give you an answer, coz you’ll soon find out they don’t like giving those out too much.

5. Use your credit card WISELY

Credit cards are not an easy-access loan. This means that as a student, you should only buy stuff you can afford. In the UK you can do the direct debit trick: set up a direct debit from your debit current account to your credit card and automatically pay the full balance every month. But make sure the debit account is always full!

Never withdraw credit card cash from an ATM

Avoid transferring money

Don’t spend more than the limit

Just start with one credit card

Check the credit card terms carefully and make sure you follow each step carefully. This piece of plastic is simply a tool to educate yourself more financially and gain rewards for the future. Although I am a supporter of Money Experiments, I recommend staying away from debt as it causes more problems than solutions.

How to improve your credit score

As explained before, a high credit score means it’ll be easier to get a mortgage or a loan in the future. This can always be helpful and it’s not too hard to achieve, and getting started in college will give you time to get that score way up high. Here are some ways to improve it:

Check your credit files regularly – if there are any mistakes you want those to be fixed asap.

Do NOT miss or be late on any repayments – the consequences could last for years

Don’t apply to too many credit cards – each time you apply, it leaves a ‘footprint’. Annoying? Yes. Use an eligibility calculator instead: they only do ‘soft searches’ which won’t affect your credit report.

Apply for credit cards specifically for building credit

Don’t withdraw cash

Pay your bills on direct debit

I slowly took the steps listed above, through trial and error. After my bank denied my student credit card (had to have a history in the UK of at least 3 years) I did some research and looked up my score on Equifax. My bank’s credit check appeared on the file but nothing else, meaning I simply had no credit score. Since then I’ve been able to apply for the correct credit card and following the steps above I was successful. Just remember to be careful and to do your research beforehand!

Oh and speaking of which:

Some Awesome Resources

Money Saving Expert

Money Supermarket

Save The Student

Money Facts

Money.co.uk

#personal finance #financial education #college finance #student finance #finance #money #financial freedom #credit cards

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yournewapartment · 7 years ago

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Do you have like a checklist or something of things that need to be done before you can move out? I have over a year to get ready, but I'm not certain what "ready" means exactly. What needs to happen before a person can live on their own (in the USA)? Thanks for answering, love your blog!

I’m realizing now that I have lots of posts that detail different parts of this moving into a new apartment process, but none that discuss everything. So this post is essentially a conglomerate of four different posts: Adulting 108, Moving (On Your Own), Living On Your Own, and Apartment Hunting 101.

But here they are, in step by step order! Enjoy!

Finding an Apartment (Apartment Hunting 101)

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.

Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.

Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.

Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.

Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.

Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.

Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

Craigslist: Obviously

Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.

Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.

This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.

Not showing up when they say they will.

Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.

Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).

If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).

If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.

If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.

If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.

If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.

If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

Your older brother

Your boyfriend/girlfriend

Your Aunt Meredith

Your second cousin

Your friend who can scream really loudly

Your Mother

Your Step Mother

Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats

Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

Kitestring

“Share My Location” on your Iphone

Pepper Spray

Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.

Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Apartment Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.

Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

How much is the rent?

Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.

Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?

What Internet service providers are available?

What electric service providers are available?

Do I have to pay for garbage removal?

What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?

Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

What type of heating/cooling is provided?

What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*

What is the apartment complex turnover rate?

Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?

Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*

Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.

What will your address be?

Additional

Is any furniture included?

Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?

Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?

Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*

Ask about local shopping and gas stations.

Ask where your mailbox will be.

Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)

Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.

Ask what their maintenance request policy is.

Ask where the nearest dumpster is.

How often does the complex loose power?

Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).

Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?

Check that all the light switches work.

Check that the water turns on.

Flush the toilet.

Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).

Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).

Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).

Check any balcony access.

Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?

Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).

Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.

Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.

Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).

Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.

Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?

During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Applying to Rent the Apartment

Overview: After choosing an apartment that you like, there are lots of steps that need to be taken before you can actually move in.

1. Rental application. You will need to fill out some sort of rental application when applying for an apartment. You’ll be asked for previous addresses (if you’ve lived in previous apartment complexes landlords will actually call and ask about how good of a tenant you were), if you’ve been convicted of a crime, pay stubs, references and/or credit information. If you don’t have a credit score, some complexes will require you to co-sign the lease with someone who does, like a parent. If a landlord does NOT ask you to fill out any kind of application, I’d advise you to run for the hills and not rent from them.

2. Approval. Apartment complexes will mail you a packet of information after you’ve been approved. This will list your new address, what power company services are available, apartment amenities, school districts, local attractions, as well as your next steps. My current apartment complex also mailed me what Internet providers are available, which was a nice extra bonus.

3. Initial expenses. Your next step will be to put down a “security deposit”. This will either be exactly the same or very close to the amount you pay for rent monthly. This deposit ensures that you don’t destroy the apartment, if you do they won’t refund you. You will also be asked to pay your first month’s rent in advance. Most rental companies will only accept money orders for these initial expenses, you have to go to your bank to get these. They’re essentially checks that take the money out of your account right away.

4. Apartment check. After you’re approved for an apartment, ask to see the actual unit that you’ll be moving into. Make sure that you see said apartment before signing any lease. Notice how loud your neighbors are, how good of a cell signal you have, the condition of the apartment, etc. This is a pretty extensive list.

Before You Move

1. List it up. Make a list of everything that you will need to accomplish before you are ready to move. This includes items that need to be packed, people that need to be contacted, pet accommodations, etc. I love lists, but you may not, so use any organizational technique that works for you.

2. Divide and conquer. After you’ve made your list, organize items based off of how much time they’ll take you. Packing will be fairly time-consuming, so this is something you’ll want to invite friends over for and break up over several days. I like to have “moving” parties whenever I’m getting ready to move, essentially I buy some chips and dip, play some Trap, and invite my friends over to act as my minions. Something like canceling your subscription to Cosmo will take you very little time and energy to do, so it’s something you can do when you’re ready for a stress-free activity.

3. Contact companies. Speaking of canceling your Cosmo subscription, you will need to update your address with all of the companies you use. If you’re no longer going to be using that company, you’ll need to call them and tell them when to end your service. If you’re going to continue to using that company, you’ll have to call them and tell that you’ll need an address change. Give them the exact date you’ll be moving so that they can backdate your information. Some examples of companies:

DMV in the county you’re moving to (if you’re going to drive)

Your doctor’s office

Your college (even if you graduated, they send out alumni letters all the time)

Your credit/debit card company

Your bank

Your phone company

Any government programs you’re a part of

Any companies that you have loans with

Your health insurance company

Your auto insurance company

Amazon

4. Pre-move in List. Make a shopping list of all the non-perishable items you will need before moving in. I’m talking trash cans, first aid kits, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc. I like to work on this list over the span of several days, and do a large shop before moving in. Your moving day will be stressful enough as it is, don’t add the stress of missing something you need. Here’s a pretty good list.

5. Electric set-up. Use the information packed your landlord sent you to find out who your electricity provider is. Call them, you’ll probably get a pre-recorded message. Choose the option that says something along the lines of “set up electricity”. You will be connected to an actual human being, who will ask you to read your new address. Tell them to turn on power to your apartment a couple days before you move in. They will set up a billing plan with you (ask to be put on a budget, it’ll save you lots of money) and give you your account information.

6. Internet set-up. Setting up your internet is similar to setting up your electric, but a bit more hand’s on. Most cable/internet companies always have some sort of deal going on, a year or two years of discounted service. Be aware of when this discount will end, and contact the company to see if they can offer you a new deal. If Verizon is offered in your area, I strongly advise you to use them for Internet service. i was on a two year plan with them that saved us $40 a month on internet service, and after it ended they put us on a new plan that is now saving us $42 a month. Fuck yeah! Also make sure to set your internet installation date for the day after you move in, so that you’re not stuck sitting in your internet-less apartment, unable to read my blog. Know that most internet companies charge installation and routers fees, and if you complain enough they’ll drop one or both of these. Just be like “I’m a poor college student” or threaten to go to another internet company.

7. Send ahead. If possible, send/drop off some of your items ahead of time. If you have a family member or a friend that lives nearby where you’ll be staying, ask if they can hold a few boxes for you. You can also mail yourself packages and ask your local post office to hold them for you, but you’ll need to arrange that ahead of time.

8. Forwarding address. You will inevitably forget something, so make sure to leave your forwarding address and contact information with your ex-landlord, college, ex-roommate, etc.

9. Signing the Lease. The last thing you will do before moving into your new apartment is signing a lease. You will be given a copy of the lease to keep, as well as the key to your apartment and/or laundry key. Keep your copy of the lease in a safe place, and make sure to get duplicates of your apartment keys.

During Moving

1. Take your time. Don’t try to unpack everything in one day! Take some time to explore your new space, and decide where to put everything in a leisurely way. There is no set schedule for moving.

2. Assistance. If you have friends/family helping you make the move, assign them specific tasks so that nobody spends their time pestering you and asking “what do you need help with?”. You can even decide these tasks ahead of time, during your plane or car ride over.

3. Be neighborly. You’ll likely meet some neighbors during this process, and make sure to stop and greet them, even if you’re in the middle of something. First impressions do matter, even when they shouldn’t, and spending thirty seconds to greet someone in a parking lot may save you a lot of hardship in the long run. Ask your neighbors to recommend local attractions, places to eat, what laundromats to use, etc.

4. Check everything. During your first few days moved into you new apartment, look around and make note of anything wrong. Outlets that don’t work, scratches on the wall, peeling paint, etc. Report these ASAP to your landlord to be fixed. This will give you a good idea of how put together their maintenance unit is. Make sure to offer maintenance workers water and be polite to them when they’re fixing anything in your apartment.

After You’re Settled (Specifically for Living Alone)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. Do a big shop, and get all the essentials out of the way: first aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!

#new apartment #first apartment #apartment hunting #finding an apartment #moving out #moving alone #living alone for the first time #moving out of my parents house #diy #fyi #college student #being an adult #how to adult #how to move out #security deposits #landlord

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zenkatki · 4 years ago

Text

Pandemic Ironman 2020

I have been asked by a few people to write something regarding Ironman Florida, the first full 140.6 Ironman held in the United Stated since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. I have never done a race write up before and I am not sure where to begin. I will take it from training which started in March to the end of the race and the reader can skip around to the parts they find interesting.

Training

Ironman Florida was to be my tenth Ironman, a step on the road to Legacy. I started a training plan that I had used before in February and tweaked it a little with my Ironman Coach certification. I already had a good endurance base from the 2020 Dopey Challenge at Walt Disney World in January, so February was primarily weight training and short distance swim, bike and runs. I still had a pool this month at New York Sports Club in Smithtown.

March is where things got interesting and COVID-19 lock-down started. The gym closed. I quickly purchased a Thermal Reaction wetsuit from Blueseventy and found my gloves and booties. I am fortunate to live 2.5 miles from the Long Island Sound so open water swims started early March. It was freezing but a bit fun to channel my inner Wim Hof. The swim training for this Ironman was entirely open water, with one pool swim in July when my sister invited me to her Town Pool once it opened. It was a concern because I feel pool intervals are important but I learned to incorporate intervals in the open water which helped break up those sessions and gave me focus.

I was able to get weight training done at work, we have a pretty decent set up in our garage. Biking and running proceeded as usual with a mix of outside rides and runs and some Zwift workouts. With a ten month training period I worked a lot of Zone 2 heart rate training, I’ve become a big believer.

It was weird not knowing at this point if the race was even on, and training helped me deal with a lot of the unknown, the anxiety. It pushed me through the spring and summer feeling hopeful despite seeing all the races on the circuit being cancelled. I had a 70.3 planned for late August in Maine that was not to be this year.

Time passed and soon it was race time. Ironman sent multiple e-mails stating they were still looking to hold the race and how it would function. I kept a folder in my e-mail with all the correspondence from Ironman, the airline, the hotel and TriBike Transport.

Travel

For whatever reason this was a tough flight to find. I had to go American Airlines and the flight to Florida was out of LaGuardia to Charlotte to Fort Walton Beach, an airport that was about an hour away from Panama Beach City. Going home was Panama City to Charlotte to JFK. Out of all three airports, JFK in New York was the only one with the Department Of Health forms to fill out upon arrival.

Now the story I’m about to write is to show how important it is to remain alert and pay attention to detail when you travel. Hopefully you will learn from my mistake here.

I wearily got off the plane at Fort Walton and found a cab outside, a nice, elderly man named Bill who was willing to drive me over an hour to my hotel in Panama City. He was driving, we were chatting and he asked me if it was okay for him to stop for gas. Sure, no problem. At the gas station he asked if I wanted to get anything and I said yes, I’ll run in for a drink. As I exited the gas station I saw the taillights of my cab leaving the pump and proceeding down the road. Without me. I did my best to stay calm but my cab had just left me stranded and my bags were in the car, along with my wallet, shield, and ID. I wondered if I was on a television show. After a few minutes it became clear that I was not on TV, and I needed to do something to track down this car. I was angry at myself for not knowing the cab company name, or getting the vehicle’s plate. After getting nowhere on the phone trying to contact the airline I asked the woman at the gas station to call the police. It was at this moment my cab returned, and my friend Bill said he thought it was weird I wasn’t answering his questions anymore and when he turned around and didn’t see me, he remembered I ran into the gas station. I refrained from physically strangling this man and climbed back into the minivan, clearly shook regarding how this race weekend just started.

Hotel

I had booked the Boardwalk Beach Hotel & Convention Center when I registered for this race. It was originally the host hotel and the race was to take place right on the grounds which is super convenient. Due to COVID and the safe return to racing, the race venue was moved six miles away to Aaron Bessant Park so they could spread us out more. I kept the reservation at BBH to be fair and help with the hotel’s business. I did enjoy being there but it was far from everything. In retrospect I should have rented one of those kewl golf carts and used that to get around for the weekend. I spent approximately $100 in Uber fees going back and forth to Aaron Bessant and Pier Park. All my cab fees, airport runs included, came to about $250. A shuttle would have been super nice but I think the majority of the people racing switched their accommodations upon the announcement of the venue change.

The hotel itself was okay, I was on the ground floor so it was out and a short walk to the water and road. The cafeteria had coffee in the morning and some pastries but I only saw them cooking food my last day as I checked out. The people that worked there were nice, I’ll forever remember me cleaning my bike in my room with the door open and housekeeping cleaning the adjoining rooms. I had put some music on the Bluetooth and we had a great time.

Race Check In

About a week before traveling Ironman sent out an Active.com e-mail with a link to reserve race check in times. This again was to space us out and not have us standing in line, clogging up the area. I picked Wednesday night between 5-6PM. Bibs were given out first come, first serve so the lower your bib number was the earlier you checked in. I was #1038. I arrived at about 4:45 with my mask and was told I could go in. It was athletes only so if you were with someone they had to wait outside the Ironman Village for you. I had to answer a short survey verbally, get my temperature taken, and then was directed table to table, just like a regular race. For places where a line of people might happen there were tape marks and lanes were roped off with string and little ribbons indicating every six feet. I was able to pick my bike check-in time for Friday, they gave me a little card with 2-3PM on it. I actually really liked this system and I think it would be great even when racing goes back to its regular routine. I found it interesting that the swag such as the swim cap and back pack didn’t have the race name on it. The finisher shirt and medal had no date on it. I guess up until the very start of the race it was always uncertain if it would be a go.

I learned that Ironman Gulf Coast 70.3 would also be on Saturday, November 7th, with an 11:00AM start time. So both races would be going at almost the same time using the same course and staging area. I received an e-mail from Triathlon Wire with the numbers of about 1250 athletes for the full and 300 for the half.

After checking in I walked over to the TriBike Transport tent, picked up my bike, put air in the tires and rode it back to my hotel. It was dark when I got back so I walked over to Subway for a veggie sub.

Thursday was a day for me to ride a little, swim a little and look around a little. My calves let me know when I did too much walking. That happens to me often at Disney for marathon weekend. You’re in a great place and want to see it all but remember, there’s a race in a couple of days! I did what I could to find vegan food options in a very big seafood area. I remembered to bring food to eat later back to my room, I had a refrigerator and a microwave there.

I walked on the pier and saw a few of the swim course buoys set up. It always looks so far, doesn’t it?

Before bed I watched the athlete briefing on-line and reviewed the race packet I printed out before I left New York. I got my gear bags ready to be handed in along with my bike the next day.

Bike Check In

Friday I rode my bike and gear bags to check in at 2PM. For some reason we also needed to wear our timing chip which made me thankful I watched that briefing the night before, because they really weren’t letting people go in without them. Athletes only again, no one without a timing chip and an event race band could enter transition. In I went with my mask on again.

Bikes were placed every other space on the rack giving us a little more room. Gear bags stayed with the bike. I tucked mine under the rear wheel that was in the air. All items in the bags must stay in the bags even during the race. So the guy two spots down from me who set his area up like he was doing a neighborhood sprint complete with a towel mat had to put all his gear back in the bags. After taking a picture of my set up and saying good night to my bike (for real, I speak to it) I got out of there. I made sure I knew where I was regarding swim in, bike out/bike in and run out before I left. I picked up a veggie pizza before heading back to the hotel. I spent the remainder of that day eating, relaxing, reading, prepping my Special Needs bags. I usually apply race numbers (TriTats) the night before but there was no body marking for this race so I wasn’t going to use up the numbers.

I was slightly concerned about getting to the race start so early the next morning. The front desk had recommended a cab service, but I met an awesome man named El by the hotel pool. He needed a charger for his Garmin. I let him use mine and we started talking about the next morning. He had driven to Florida from Tennessee, had his car and offered me a ride to the start which I gratefully accepted.

Race Morning

Up at 3:45AM race morning. Made instant coffee, ate half a bagel, lubed, dressed, double checked all my bags and headed out. El and I drove to transition and he was able to park close to the transition entrance. Special Needs bags were handed off on the way in to Transition. Masks were on. I went to my bike, double checked the tires and filled the water and Gatorade bottles. They didn’t want us wondering around too much. I did see Chris Nikic walk into Transition. This race was his attempt at becoming the first person with Down Syndrome to complete an Ironman. I thought it was great to see him, a good sign. Now that I think about it at this point I just focused on that good thought and the cab ride from the airport wasn’t even in my head. Mike Reilly was there! I got ready to swim and tucked my Morning Clothes bag behind my gear bags, Morning Clothes stayed with us as well.

Swim

The forecast projected it being overcast most of the day and the morning was a bit cloudy. I picked goggles with a super light tint and it was a good choice. We were to stand with our bikes until our projected swim time was called out. I stayed put until I heard, “1:20-1:30 head to the swim start now!” Everyone thinking they were finishing the swim in that time started out and towards the beach, it was about a seven minute walk on the road and on sand. Some people had throw-away shoes on, I did not. The road had tape marks every six feet, they wanted you to try to stay on them when walk-traffic stopped. On the sand they had roped off lanes with pink ribbons tied on every six feet. We were to stay on a ribbon. There were spectators the whole walk. Eventually my lane made it to the water and they were letting four people enter every five seconds or so. Despite this great system guess what. Once we were in the water in was a traditional Ironman. It took some time to get passed the breaks but once I was in I was going. Two loops, clockwise in the Gulf. I saw fish and a sea turtle. There was a current pushing us sideways so it took some effort and a lot of sighting to stay to the left of the buoys. It wouldn’t be an Ironman if I didn’t get hit in the eye and I got it on my second loop. If you’re familiar with the Lake Placid swim it was like that only no cable though, sorry. Despite it being wetsuit legal I was getting hot towards the end. I really enjoyed the water though and had a swim time of 1:27:01.

My transition neighbors were gone by the time I got into T1 so I had plenty of room. I was expecting to have to wear a mask in Transition but we did not. I had my bike gear in the bag set up so I could just pull it out and put it on and it worked well. I hung my wetsuit on the bike rack to dry hoping that was allowed. It was still there when I got back so I guess it was. Once I was bike ready I made my way out to start my ride. My T1 time was 10:39.

Bike

Because the swim had been warm I started my bike ride a little thirsty which was unfortunately a sign of things to come. To keep contact points down Ironman had reduced the amount of Aid Stations, so after drinking my water and most of my Gatorade quickly it was some time before I could refill. I ate every 45 minutes to an hour on the bike. Solid food was no problem, I had a lot with me and grabbed extra going through the Aid Stations. It was fluid I needed more often than it was available. If the sun had been out full force I think I would have had an even worse problem. It was about 80 degrees, humid, still overcast and windy which meant I was sweating and not really going anywhere when pedaling against the wind. I used the tail wind as best I could to make up time. I really think I need to be re-fit for my bike because at mile 30 I was already having terrible lower back pain. It wasn’t an easy ride and despite everyone telling me how flat the course is, it was over 3,000 feet of elevation. I had to get off to use the porta-potty and stretch early on. I guess at this point I should mention my race kit. I wore a one-piece tri suit from Zoot, the Autism Ohana kit. Google it if you have a chance, I think it’s great. Very colorful and for a good cause. I wore it to remember my friend Lizzie that I run with sometimes in Central Park as a volunteer for Achilles. But there are goods and bads of wearing a one-piece and the bads is definitely when you try to use the bathroom in it. It has little sleeves that are tough to find and get your arms through when they are wet. So there was a struggle in that porta-potty, no doubt. Finally I opened the door. The porta-potty was on an incline and I kind of stumbled out of it and cracked my left knee on the doorway. Then I bent over to grab my knee and hit my big, bike helmet head on the side. I felt like the Three Stooges was trying to do an Ironman, I really did. Shaking my head I got back on the bike and started to go. I felt my knee throbbing for about twenty miles. As I write this I have a wicked bruise. But back to the bike…This was a one loop course on the highways of Florida. There were wide shoulders and a bike lane that we rode in but in the back of my mind I kept thinking this was an active road way and any passing needed to be super carefully done. Cars were courteous enough not to use the right lane but if a driver wanted to be a jerk and use it they could. Any residential/business areas had spectators. As I said before it was windy. I did the best I could and had some good splits when the wind was with me but I needed to get off a few more times to stretch. I finished the bike with a usual time of 7:14:01.

Again I had the area to myself so I sat to change shoes and get ready for the run. I was a little put off by my bike split and my stomach was not 100% but I thought I could have a strong run if I stayed focused. Removing sand from my feet was a challenge but it was important so avoid any irritation so I took the time to do that before I put my socks on. I stretched my back and drank more Gatorade before I left. I had a T2 time of 10:53.

Run

As I started my run I was greeted by just as many spectators as any other Ironman. Some had masks on, some didn’t. Some were dressed up, some played music. Everyone was encouraging and motivating. I started out so happy to be running. This course was an out and back two times along the highway parallel to the beach, passed all the hotels, bars and restaurants. The halfway turning point and the finish line were at Pier Park. For six miles I ran strong and thanked everyone for being out. A lot of people liked and commented on my race kit. It was great. But soon I knew I was going to have to do the run/walk, even as the sun went down and it started to cool off. I was unable to eat anything solid for the majority of the run. The thought of trying made me dry heave. I saw a few people really heaving in the bushes and was afraid I was going to join them. I took in as much fluid as I could, mainly water and Coke. I was sweating out a lot of salt, my neck and face were all gritty. I thought at first maybe it was sand but why would there be sand on my face, right? Out and back, out and back, using whatever I could in my brain to keep moving. I followed the cones they used to mark off the run area. Walk one cone, run five cones. My quads were shredded. I thought of my Mom and my Family. I thought of work and how I wanted to make everyone proud. I thought of the finish line and finally, FINALLY it was my turn to cross. My run took 6:25:20. Mike Reilly called me an Ironman with an official time of 15:27:52.

After crossing the spectator-less finish line I was given a mask and a masked volunteer guided me along, not touching me, to a table with plastic bags containing my finisher shirt and race medal. Someone with gloves and a mask removed my timing chip. I made my way over to Athlete Food and choked down half a veggie sub. I got my picture taken with my medal. (There were photographers out on the course too.) I had completed my 10th Ironman.

As I gathered my gear and dropped my bike back at the TriBike tent, Chris Nikic became an Ironman. I cheered from the parking lot. I started to walk back with the plan of getting passed the road closures to an area where I could call an Uber to get back to my hotel. But I started walking with a man named Dan who had volunteered in a kayak for the swim and at the finish line as well. He had just as long of a day as I had but when he heard of my plan to get back he ran into his hotel, got his keys and drove me to my hotel. And that really, really describes the Ironman atmosphere and Family to me. We all help each other, we all do what we can to get each other through the challenge. I am so grateful I found this sport, these events and have met some of the most amazing people.

I hope this write up helps someone with their goal, be it an Ironman or a first sprint triathlon, or a marathon or whatever. Please feel free to contact me with any questions if I missed something you wanted to know about.

Thank you to everyone for the well wishes, encouragement and congratulations. Thank you to Ironman and the Volunteers for having this race during one of the most hectic times in our lives.

Thank you for reading.

Kristen

[email protected]

Instagram - @zenkatki

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evanvanness · 5 years ago

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Annotated edition, Week in Ethereum News March 29 issue

This annotated version is brought to you by The Cure’s “The Head on the Door” album, playing over my headphones right now in a vain attempt to avoid the work-from-home-with-kids maelstrom.

Listening to an album helps me mark the time and stay focused when I’m doing something relatively unstructured like newsletter commentary. It’s somewhat unclear to me who I’m writing this for, but people seem to appreciate more context for the firehose of information, so I try to provide some.

I’ve occasionally read newsletters for other blockchains and I’m always impressed by how little I understand. I have no context for what X, Y, and Z mean. Yet there’s still usually something there that I pick up that is worthwhile enough that makes it worth the click and skim.

Here’s the most clicked for the week. The eternal caveat exists that people click things in the newsletter that they haven’t read

The annotated roadmap was the top click by a large amount.

Eth1

Geth v1.9.11’s eth/65 data propagation has reduced bandwidth 75%

Nethermind v1.7.12 has eth/65 support

Notes from the latest stateless call

Guillaume Ballet on why we switch from hex to binary and how the overlay tree works

Evaluating the proposals to reduce witness size

Eth on ARM updated images to run full nodes on Raspberry Pis: Geth, Nethermind, Parity, Besu.

Bitcoiners would tell you that it’s impossible to run a full Eth node, but you can actually run one on a Raspberry Pi 4.

Ethereum has always had “being honest about our problems” as a core value, so it’s amusing that Bitcoiners never do the work to figure out what the actual problems are. Right now Geth is the vast majority of nodes, because they keep doing incredible work improving their client - or in this case, networking for all of Ethereum.

The client formerly known as Parity is being taken over, but there’s probably going to be a ramp up time.

In the meantime, running Nethermind and Besu nodes are a concrete thing that anyone can do for the network. I find the Nethermind client to be particularly easy to run, though the documentation is a bit lacking. So for a Saturday project, click the link above and get a Nethermind or Besu node running on a Raspberry Pi.

The points in between Geth/Nethermind and Eth on Arm have to do with Stateless Ethereum, the goal of getting network clients to be able to run statelessly. Those steps include getting the witness size down to be small enough and switching the tree from hex to binry.

Eth2

Latest eth2 implementer call. Ben Edgington’s notes

Least Authority’s audit report of eth2 spec

Notes from the latest networking call

Mikerah explores hybrid networking architectures for validator privacy

Latest Nimbus client update, full interop is main focus. processing validators and sigs 5x faster

RuntimeVerification: verifying ewasm code

Carl Beekhuizen’s sharded consensus explainer, and why signature aggregation is so vital

The audit of the eth2 spec is now public. Meanwhile nailing down the final networking for phase0 to get the last multi-client testnets up before the Beacon Chain goes live.

Eth2+

Hashmap-based polynomial commitments

Multi-layer hashmaps for state storage

ZKStudyClub video on polynomial commitments with Justin, Vitalik and Dankrad

Casper CBC achieves liveness even in async networks

The debut of the Eth2x section. That’s a joke - I dislike the 1x moniker which somehow got hung on Eth1 improvements.

You probably won’t be clicking any of these links unless you’re into math or a protocol researcher who can fake it.

Layer2

AZTEC zk-zkrollup with PLONK proofs. Will soon ship 100 private transactions per second on mainnet

Error-correcting code to optimize ZK-rollup verifier

A revamped Nutberry optimistic rollup plan

No shocker here that Aztec is moving into rollup. It’s an underrated fact that rollup’s massive scaling is about to ship or has already shipped (ie Loopring), though there is still work to do be do to get those rollups to their full thousnds of transactions per second capacity - like optimizing the verifier.

Stuff for developers

Solidity v0.6.x features: fallback and receive

Yul+ from Fuel Labs. Features added to Yul’s low-level intermediate language: enums, constants, booleans, memory structures, safemath

Truffle v5.1.19. fully decode internal function pointers, new –bail flag in TruffleTest

MetaMask Ethereum provider survey

Catching weird bugs in Solidity with invariant checks

Slither v0.6.10 – 5 new detectors, support for Solidity v0.6

Samczsun finds a bug in Synthetix release

Build an API to interact with Compound

Using the debugger in Remix online IDE

Building frontends with React and NetworkJS

OpenZeppelin CLI v2.8, now you can opt out of upgradeability

Survey of upgradeability standards

ELI5smartcontracts: input Solidity code and the website tells you what it does

Nim libp2p tutorial of peer to peer chat

Zeropool’s Fawkes framework in Rust for building bellman circuits

Iden3’s Circom v0.5 – updated tutorial. Open sourced very fast finite field libraries, getting close to being production ready for writing snark circuits.

I’ve always felt like the dev section hopefully speaks for itself. With Yul+, FuelLabs is supporting the idea that good projects naturally spinoff open source tools.

Ecosystem

An annotated version of Vitalik’s Eth2020 roadmap

Another tool to understand/revoke what contracts you have given authority to spend your tokens

Ceramic, a permissionless protocol on Eth & IPFS for tamper-proof documents

All three of these were quite high on the most clicked.

Enterprise

Ericsson: designing a decentralized marketplace

Hyperledger Besu v1.4.2 – improved onchain privacy groups

I think the Ericsson piece just missed the most clicked tweet.

Governance, DAOs, and standards

Governance in decentralized networks, a survey paper from Streamr’s Risto Karjalainen

A primer on Moloch v2, how new features improve grants and enable for-profit DAOs

The MKR token is now controlled by its governance

ERC2567: Human-Readable Parameters for Contract Function Execution

EIP2565: Repricing of the EIP-198 ModExp precompile

I haven’t read the Streamr paper, though of course governance is one of the unsolved problems in this space, since governance is an unsolved topic among humans.

Application layer

Uniswap announces v2: token to token pairings, protocol fee, oracles, flash swaps

TheSandbox partnering with Atari to feature their titles

Mailchain’s Dapplaunch, a web3 email marketing tool

You can now play Austin Griffith’s Galleass game on xDai

Maker’s flop auctions successfully concluded for ~253 DAI average price

3 critical trading risks mitigated in Augur v2

Synthetix’s Hadar release includes Brent Crude oil, FTSE100 and S&P Global1200

UMA’s priceless synthetic token design pattern to reduce oracle dependency

Furucombo, a GUI for combining DeFi transactions into 1

TrustlessFund, a timelock for ETH and tokens

LEND721, an NFT borrowing platform, is live on mainnet

I don’t normally include release announcements before they happen, but Uniswap is obviously a special case.

Weekly metric: 5 out of 11 bullet points (counting on low side for DeFi, eg not including Augur) are DeFi.

Tokens/Business/Regulation

SDNY judge halts Telegram token distribution with preliminary injunction

If the SEC wins - which it appears they likely will now that they got the injunction - then Silicon Valley investors will have gotten bailed out of the two craziest crypto deals that they invested in at market top - Telegram and Basecoin. Just like Basecoin, Telegram will likely be forced to return (most of) the cash it raised.

The SEC is providing regulation-as-a-service to those investors. Interesting that the deal happened mere months after Tezos, and yet very different regulatory treatments.

General

Vitalik’s garbled circuits primer

Semaphore had to restart the random value generation process

Hive, the community-led fork of Steem, is currently trading for significantly more more than STEEM after Tron’s hijack attempt

It’s pretty great to see that the Steem community managed to fight off the hijacking that was attempted with the (unwitting?) help of Binance and Huobi. While both exchanges backed off, we’ll find out in time whether they really feel like they were misled.

Finally, time to shill for my Gitcoin grant here. If you give because you particularly want the annotated edition to continue, could you add .11 to whatever you give? eg, 1.11 DAI or .11 ETH or .01011 ETH.

I put this last week and I believe only one contributor added the 11, so maybe no one likes the annotated version. 🤔

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commexokid · 7 years ago

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Mental Health Update #777

Helloooo friends, I've been taking a break from tumblr for various reasons, mostly because I was scared of opening it up on a governement computer. I have gotten over that. Please don't message me about bombs.

So I've been on my lowered dosage for like a week or so. I've missed it a couple of times but!!! I didn't get super rough withdrawal symptoms those days, which was 100% guarateed before. I feel like that could be progress and good news for when I go off completely. I also haven't experienced many mental health issues or changes in my behaviors since lowering the dose. I might be a little bit easier to tears/more emotional at points, but it doesn't bother me. I'm fine with sad things making me sad haha

I've added a few more things to my routine like stopping what I'm doing and stretching three times a day. This morning is the first time since deciding this that I woke up early enough to do it in the morning, but I've also been doing it at work after lunch and before I go to bed. Maybe I'll be able to touch my toes soon!

Ah, ok, I lied, I have noticed some mental health problems: only when I go to the gym. I can't deal with the people around me and the negative thoughts I put on myself there. So instead of pushing it, I got a yoga mat and some resistence bands, and now that it's getting colder, I'll go on more walks. I haven't cancelled my gym membership yet (again) because I keep thinking I might use it occasionally and I'm a little embarrassed about cancelling it less than a month after getting it.

I liked to think I'm eating healthier and I feel good. Breakfast and lunch are good meals for me, but dinner is where I may or may not eat an entire pizza. So that's a problem. But this is leagues above where I was with my nutrition.

Somehow, though, I've managed to gain wait and that is upsetting. It could be the change in my medication routine, but I dunno. I've also missed my period for two months straight which could be anything, but I've joked that I'm the new Virgin Mary. I'll let y'all know if I pop out the savior next year.

I've cooled off on witchcraft a bit but I'm still super pagan. I just dont feel like I have the energy/space/time to do any rituals. My room is half packed and full of boxes and just a mess in general, and I haven't felt interested in attending my local pagan group's full moon and sabbat rituals recently. I still want to celebrate but I think.... I think my life is kind of in this weird transition phase where I know everthing is going to be totally different for me next year, so everything's on pause until I can get settled down in New York. It's weird.

My coworker is lending me a pair of hiking shoes and I'm going on a hike with her and a group of people next weekend. I'm really excited!! Hiking is something I've alway been interested in but have never been able to do. I plan to do it often in Upstate NY and I've already picked out a bunch of trails I want to try. But first, maybe I should conquer at least one Florida trail, huh? It'll be a short, four mile track, so hopefully nothing too insane. I'm excited to see some beautiful nature. <3

OH!!! I FINISHED A BOOK! TWO BOOKS!!! FICTION BOOKS!!!

First was "The Moon is Down" by John Steinbeck. I picked it because I had the song "San Francisco" by Vanessa Carlton stuck in my head ("And now, I'm walking with the living; I always liked Steinbeck and those old men whistling. We're back, we're back in San Francisco. We're back and you tell me I am home"). It's was a propaganda story that Steinbeck wrote during WWII to bolster resistance in european countries taken over by Nazis. It's honestly so good.

Second, "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood. You know, the one on Hulu. I never was able to watch it so I decided to read the book. It was ridiculously hard to get at the library because everyone had the same idea I guess, but I managed to snag it. It was hard to get into at first because sexuality is an assumed trait in humans and I'm... not. It was hard to connect to certain motivations. I was able to get over my own dumb brain though and read about 250 pages in one day. At work. Heck yeah. I recommend everyone read it.

Now I'm working on the first book in the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic". I shit you not, I've checked this book out about four times and never got around to reading it. I had to turn it in unread each time. I think the first time I made it at least 50 pages in, but I incurred a late fee on it. Please wish me good luck on my reading voyage.

Finally, one of the two jobs I applied to sent me a letter turning me down. It's alright, it's the one I applied to in desperation before the position I really wanted opened up. That one closes tomorrow, when I assume they'll start looking though applications. The info specifically said that they'll only call people they want to interview, but don't call them to check up. So frustrating, my future in New York is depending on this, guys! Anyway, I don't know how long the review process takes but please light a candle or two for me these next couple of weeks.

Yikes, it looks like I had a lot to say? Sorry I've been away for so long. I hope you're all well. <3

#mental health #medication

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annakie · 8 years ago

Photo

Uh, back in Feburary and March I’d written two posts about my history with cars (one, two), and then forgot to follow up with the reason I wrote those posts.

Guys, meet Sadie. Yeah, I named her after Sadie Doyle. She’s classy and only drinks the finest booze (Premium Unleaded).

Story below.

So like I’d mentioned, the Accord was starting to acquire some moans and thumps and other weird things. It also hit 100k miles and needed the 100k maintenance done. (It was actually at 107k miles.) All in all, I was looking at like $3500 in immediately-needed money spent on it.

I really didn’t wanna.

So in February, I started looking at and thinking about cars again. I ended up spending several evenings at a few car dealerships, taking a really hard look at my budget, and crossing my fingers for a raise I thought I was getting, but not counting on. I figured out a few ways to tighten my budget (like I dropped down to basic cable, and am eating out less) and... shopped.

I knew my must-haves and my wants. I knew my credit score. I knew what interest rate I could get from my bank (pretty great, thankfully).

What it came down to was, I found several cars I liked. Several I could live with. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew I wouldn’t be happy unless I was back in an Acura.

I know brand loyalty is kind of dumb. But man, I wanted an Acura again. Nothing else felt quite the same. I knew I’d have to get a pre-owned, and for a long time I’d resigned myself that I’d have to get an ILX, the smallest and least expensive Acura. They’d had a major redesign in 2015 that fixed a lot of their flaws, so I thought I’d either have to go a little higher than my budget or wait awhile to find a 2015 with enough miles on it that it’d be in my price range.

Every time the engine clunked on my Accord, though, I’d be like.... I have GOT to get out of this thing.

So I expanded my search and was shocked to realize that I really could get a TSX in my budget range, if just barely. I’d just have to wait for the right one. I did my research on them and saw that they weren’t #1 on anyone’s VERY BEST CARS of 201X list, but usually ranked in the top 10. I could live with it. They stopped making them in 2014 and moved to the TLX, so 2014 was the newest I’d get. 2015 TLXs’ were definitely out of the price range.

I also knew that I wanted the light silver, (medium grey or white would do) exterior, tan interior and the technology package for two important things -- backup camera and upgraded stereo. I’d probably have to wait awhile to find that, but the day I decided to try for that exact car, I test drove one at a dealership near me. It was dark grey outside with black interior and no tech package and I knew then that I’d have to hold out and wait. Also I hated that salesguy. I’d met a few over the last few weeks and he was the only one that was actually.. skeevy.

When I got back to the office, instead of working I did a more focused search online and holy shit there’s a 2014 TSX with 28k miles in silver with tan interior and the technology package at a dealer like ten miles from me. IN MY PRICE RANGE.

I said goodbye to my co-workers and headed to the dealer. I did stop at DIscout Tire along the way to get one of my tires patched up. They said I needed a new one and would be $45 to replace it. I had them print me out a copy of my tire warranty, threw it in the glovebox and wished the next person with my car good luck, instead.

The dealership experience was exactly what I thought it’d be. They were nice. There were negotiations. I actually got about $1k more for my Accord than I thought I would, which balanced out their “dealer fees”. My co-workers kept in touch, doing research for me, advising me, as did my parents. It was good to have people have my back, since I was there alone. I’d done this before, and felt pretty good about how I did, but I did even better with backup.

I walked out of there, after TT&L for about 500 under budget, with a private loan with a low APR. I arrived at 4:30 that day. I left at almost 10pm, driving my TSX.

I also actually didn’t sign the final paperwork to buy the car that night. I took it to the Acura dealership right by work the next day and dropped it off (not the dealer I bought it from, they were affiliated with Toyota). They did a “Pre-buy check” on it, which was like a 100 point inspection or something, and gave it a completely clean bill of heath. It cost me about $170, but the peace of mind was money well spent.

The one weird thing about the car is that it didn’t come with the branding “ACURA” “TSX” and the Acura symbol on the back. So, I found all of that on Ebay for half of what the Acura dealer near work wanted to charge me. Then I took that to a nearby independent body shop, asked them how much they’d want to put the branding on. They took the branding, asked for my keys, came back 10 minutes later and were like “It’s done.” Nervous, I restated I’d just wanted an estimate and they were like “Just tell people we helped you out!” So yeah, I did. I told a lot of people. :)

Guys I love this car. I want to drive it for another 7 to 10 years. And then I’ll just get a self-driving car and never worry about driving again. :p

Like I said above, I named her Sadie. It was the first thing that popped into my head and it fits. It’s taken a few weeks to get my dashcam re-installed, (I’ve been meaning to make a post about how everyone needs a dashcam. YOU NEED A DASHCAM) a new cell phone mount that’s cute and unobtrusive, blind spot mirrors, and my new license plates and pretty chrome frames, but she’s now all together and makes me extremely happy.

It has a navigation package, but I don’t use the navigation because, you know, cell phones... Waze... but I don’t know how I got along in life before having a backup camera. She’s only a 4-cylinder and I do admit between about 10 and 30mph I do miss the advantage my 6-cylinder Accord had in oomph, but that’s it. Sadie wins in every other way.

So yeah, money’s a bit tighter for now, but I’m getting by just fine with just basic cable while still meeting my savings goal every month, and my commute is a lot more fun.

#personal post tag thingy #cars #acura #my car

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