#what the fuck you MEAN you used to eat people???????

[yumeaoka-chan]

And They Were Roommates...

Made entirely because of the HC sent by 🎏 anon to @the-kr8tor . Teehee❤️

Pairing: Ekko x Reader x Hobie Brown/ Ekko x Reader x Spider-Punk! Hobie Brown

Tags: fluff, modern au (they're all in Hobie's universe, really), cursing, blood, injuries, no physical description of reader, can be read as any gender really, hurt/comfort (sorta??), sparse use of y/n, hobie gets bapped like twice cuz I think it's funny, can be read as romantic or platonic

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: Finding out one of your roommates is actually Spider-Man was not at all on your Bingo Card.

A loud bang startles you awake, thumps and thuds sounding outside your room. Blinking away the sleep from your eyes and scrubbing a hand over your face, you peel away the blankets with a groan.

“Fuckin’ hell”, a muffled voice huffs, making you scoff.

“That should be my line”, you mumble, stumbling across your room. You knew having more than two people living together would mean noises late in the night, knew that it was inevitable for disturbances. It hadn't occurred to you just how frequent it would be, however. This was the fifth night in a row this week that you've been woken up by them, nevermind it being almost five months since you started living here and you were tired of it. It didn't matter how nice they both were, how you cared deeply for them, how they'd apologize for it come morning. The fact that it keeps happening is enough to make you want to throttle them.

“It's three in the morning -”, you hiss lowly, wrenching your bedroom door open, “Three in the fucking morning..!” Fists balled up in frustration and annoyance painted on your features, you stomp your way into the small living room.

“I'd appreciate it if you both would…” The words die in your throat at the smell of iron as you take in the sight before you. The window behind the couch was wide open, cool night air blowing into the flat, bloodied handprints smeared across the windowsill. On the floor was the vase you had brought with you when you moved here, next to the toppled over coffee table and a banged up guitar littered with stickers. Your eyes drift over the couch speckled with crimson over to the man sprawled on the floor, masked head lifting up from the cushions. The white eyes of his mask seem to widen in what you think is shock at the sight of you and he lifts a hand up in your direction.

“W-Wait-”

“How the fuck did you get in here?!” You cry out, pointing at the stranger who you've come to realize is Spider-Man, the Spider-Man. What the hell is London's web head doing in your flat, on your floor?! The masked hero struggles to lift himself off of the floor and that's when you notice the ichor seeping past his fingers, palm pressed against the large cut on his stomach. The sight of more blood makes your pulse quicken, panic settling in your bones.

“Oh! Oh, God, you're bleeding..!” Legs wobbling, you trip over yourself and stumble as you inch closer towards the man, trembling hands hovering out towards him. “Fuck… W-What should I do? H-How do I help you…?” Spider-Man shakes his head, hand gently gripping your wrist once you get close enough to him. The way he rubs his thumb against your skin in a calming manner feels oddly familiar to you, though it does little to quell the anxiousness eating at your insides.

“‘S fine, mate, really-”

“A doctor…! I'll take you to a doctor..!” A hand gently rests atop your head just as you start to pull the masked hero up, making you freeze and stutter in your frantic rambling. Exhausted hazel brown eyes greet you as you look up over your shoulder, lips twisted in a small frown and twisted locs pulled back in a ponytail.

“It's all good, Y/N”, Ekko mumbles softly, voice still warm and laced with sleep, “I've got it from here.”

“W-What..?” You question as he kneels down in front of the injured man, a first aid kit already in his hands. He's too calm about this whole situation in your opinion, so much so that you're beginning to suspect that this isn't the first time this has happened. Your roommate clicks his tongue in slight annoyance, brows furrowing as he glares at the hero. And then he does something you never thought he would do to a hero of all people. Ekko raises a hand and smacks Spider-Man on the forehead. Jaw dropping at the scene, you watch as the web head curses, fingers shooting up to rub at the sore spot.

“Bloody wanker! Hell was tha’ for”, he grumbles, yelping as Ekko tugs at one of the spikes on his mask. “Stop! ‘M injured, remember?”

“This is exactly why I said for you to let ‘em know what's up. You never listen, man!” Your roommate snaps, frustration evident on the furrow of his brows as he helps the man out of his leather vest. Spider-Man lets out a noise and if he wasn't wearing that mask, you'd have sworn he would have been pouting.

“Give me some slack, ‘Ko. Slipped my mind, ‘s all.” The nickname leaves his lips almost naturally, and leaves you bewildered. Because, from your knowledge, the only ones Ekko allows to call him that are you and-

“You're shitting me… Hobie…”, you mumble softly, eyes as big as saucers at the sudden revelation. The masked man chuckles lowly before reaching up and pulling the mask off completely, the familiar warm russet brown eyes of your roommate greeting you. Small cuts litter his face and the area near his right eye looks slightly darker and swollen, as though he'd been punched repeatedly. Hobie gives you a lopsided smile, pain evident in the way the corners of his lips tremble just a bit.

“‘S me, darlin’. Meant to tell you sooner…” It all finally makes sense. The persistent weariness you'd see emanating from him at times, all the times he'd been late to your hangouts, the fact that he almost always looked like he'd gotten into a fight. Hell, the guitar he carries is the exact one Spider-Man was always lugging around. How could you have even missed this? Now that you knew exactly who was behind the mask and how close you were to him, your nerves slowly began to spike again. Was he always getting hurt this badly, to the point that the blood flow never seemed to stop, even now? An image of a lifeless Hobie laying deathly still on the floor of your flat flashes in your mind then and you can't help the shiver that runs down your spine.

“Mm, you got lost in my eyes there?” His words rouse you out of your musings and you glare at him, letting out a huff and trying to hide the way your eyes were beginning to sting with the threat of tears. Ekko snorts and smacks Hobie's forehead again, who in turn lets out a shout. “Oi! Nurses ain't ‘posed to hit the wounded!”

“Sure”, Ekko scoffs before turning to you, exasperation coloring his voice, “Can you grab a large bowl with warm water and a little soap?”

You're up almost immediately after he asks, quickly rushing to grab whatever he needs. You return shortly with the bowl and a clean washcloth, carefully placing it beside him, watching as he pulls out the tools needed to treat his patient who is already shirtless. You watch as Ekko begins treating Hobie, hands quick yet gentle in the way he cleans the wound. The silence stretches on as you move to sit next to him, your head inches away from both his and Hobie's. It's when he moves on to begin stitching the cut that you speak up, eyeing your two roommates.

“From the looks of it, you've been tending to him for a while. How long have you been doing this, ‘Ko..?” He chuckles and shakes his head, a few white twists slipping from the ponytail and falling over his eyes. Your fingers are quick to brush them to the side for him while Hobie gently fixes Ekko's hair into a bun, so that his hair doesn't get in the way of his work.

“It feels like forever, honestly, like I've known him for that long. It's probably only been about a year or two, though.” He mumbles, which makes the injured man in front of you chuckle.

“Been my saviour for a while now, yeah?”

“Yeah…” There's a look that crosses over Ekko’s face then, something akin to sadness and anxiousness. It goes away just as quick as it came but, unfortunately for him, both you and Hobie had already seen it. Fingers softly grazing his wrist, you silently urge him to stop for just a moment, Hobie following your lead by tenderly bumping a hand underneath the upset man's chin. Ekko closes his eyes for just a moment before looking up at Hobie and leaning his weight a little more against you, as if searching for comfort in your presence.

“I hate this… I hate having to patch you up after you get hurt like this”, he mumbles softly as his hands begin to resume their work, the real meaning behind his words reaching you almost instantly. Hobie sucks in a breath, glancing down at the hands working on his wound with a slightly guilty look on his face.

“...Sorry, mate… ‘S a hassle, I know-”

“He means-”, you interrupt him, hand quick to grasp his own, feeling the way the fabric of his suit rubs against your skin, "that it worries him. You getting hurt this badly is a little scary, Hobes. Makes a person think that if you'd gotten hurt anymore than you already had, that you might not come back at all one day…” You take a shaky breath, not even realizing the tears you'd held in from earlier were shining in your eyes right now. “I mean, look at how scared I was tonight. I just learned about you being Spider-Man and it already made me scared for your safety, seeing you like this. Imagine how Ekko has been feeling all this time.”

“We're not saying you should stop being Spider-Man, Hobie”, Ekko mutters as he finishes the last bit of stitches, hands moving to grab the ointment he laid out as he sniffles. “All we're saying is that we want you to at least come back to us in one piece. That's all we ask for.”

“Yeah. And don't make fun of us if we're a little shaken up at you being hurt”, you choke out, now wiping the hot tears dripping down your face. This was a little more than you'd expected to happen tonight, who could blame you for crying right now? Sleep deprivation and witnessing someone you cared about bleeding out could do it to you. You feel yourself being pulled into an embrace, Hobie wrapping you both in his arms and holding you close. You could feel the rapid beating of his heart beneath your palm as one of your hands rested on his chest, the other gripping Ekko's hand.

“I'll always come back to you lot. Promise”, Hobie murmurs softly, voice cracking just a bit as he tightens his grip on you both ever so slightly. Ekko chuckles and bumps his head against his affectionately.

“Better. Or we'll both hunt you down and knock some sense into you.” A sniffle leaves you as you nod your head in agreement. Hobie lets out a laugh at that, arms holding you ever closer.

“Got it, Boss Man.”

[gothamite-rambler]

If Jason ever found out that both of them tried (and one succeeded) in killing the Joker

Jason: Okay, let me get this straight. Bruce almost killed the Joker, but then Clark beat the sense out of him, and that's why I hate him!

Bruce: He didn't beat the sense out of me! I was blinded by rage.

Dick: You're not going to bring up that he says he hates him?

Bruce: He's not trying to kill him anymore and I get a laugh out of it.

Jason: Exactly, I like causing him minor inconveniences. But okay, you backed out. I get it, with you, I get it… But then Dick killed him. At the very least, he was declared dead, and you… Jumpstarted his heart?

Bruce: Yes.

Jason: And he technically would have died if you hadn't?

Bruce: Yes.

Jason: And instead of giving your oldest son an award or parade or something good… You brought him back to life? My murderer, Barbara's attempted murderer, and the man who has caused us all… So much fucking grief… You gave him a second chance at life?

Bruce: Yes… That's the gist of it all.

Jason buried his head in his hands.

Jason (talking to himself): It's okay, Jason. Don't freak out, or nobody will stop you from shoving a pencil up his urethra.

Dick grabbed the pencils and pens off Bruce's desk and tossed them in the top drawer.

Jason (keeping his face covered): Bruce… I mean this in the nicest way… What point was being made when someone else killed the Joker? Someone who deserves every single good thing in the world?

Dick (happy): Ah…

Bruce: The guilt of killing someone would weigh on his mind. Eat away at him…

Jason (lowering his hands and turning to his brother): Dick, how did you feel when you did it?

Dick: For the moment, I was punching him, it felt oddly therapeutic and euphoric. I felt awful afterwards.

Bruce: Plus, we're not prison executioners.

Jason: Oh, bullshit! I used to see you body slam villains, beat them to a coma, and threaten to amputate people! That's cool as Batman?

Bruce: They survived and yes it's cool, because I am Batman!

Dick: Hmm, he does have a point. Can you forgive Bruce for reviving the Joker?

Jason: I have... I'm just bitter. I did die, but I can let it slide.

Bruce: Thanks Jason, I mean that sincerely.

Jason left in a cursing under his breath as Bruce sent him money quickly.

Dick: Is your way to apologize money based?

Bruce: Partially. I'm a gift giver, money can be a gift. You don't have to call me a great father, I'm aware I am.

Dick chuckled, shaking his head silently.

[r3d-ca9]

OHG HI HI HELLO HELLO

1. Because of Bloodwing and Talon, I usually associate him with vultures!! Something like a bearded vulture, usually. Or other birds of prey.

2. I'd make him a necklace or draw him something!! He's not used to receiving gifts, and isn't too picky, so he'd like pretty much anything I got for him. But a handmade item would mean a LOT more to him, for sure.

3. Exploring Pandora, poking around for secrets and loot. Although if we don't have the energy for that, nothing beats catching up on some drama shows. 😫

4. Y'know.....we uh. Don't really have a house. WHOOPS. I'm gonna say...he'd love any chores involving taking care of the birds, of course. S tier chore. And...just like me, he'd probably HATE dishes. Because dishes suck ass.

5. Oh hell yeah. Dude's basically a stunt driver. If you can successfully survive driving on Pandora for any period of time, you get an A+ from me.

6. Fuckin...hawk screech. You know, the one people always use for eagle noises, even though it's not an eagle sound LMAO.

7. He hates being online. It's stressful. It's dumb. He hates the shit other people post. BUT....maybe, yeah.

8. Mmmmmmm....I wanna say...no...I mean, maybe at some point he did? But he's too cynical for that sort of thing now. Besides...it's more satisfying to view relationships as this thing you work really hard for, rather than some magic that happens out of your control. Soulmates may not be real. But it doesn't mean love is any less powerful.

9. Super casual like, the same way I do everything LMAO. "Hey guys. This is my boyfriend. And these are his birds. Ain't that fuckin' sick? Hell yeah."

10. 👀 cough cough

11. They both seem cool and intimidating, are actually enormous nerds. 👉😎👉

12. It's a toss up between red and green!

13. Also pretty casually! Although. A bit more shy about it. They'd probably know already, or have suspicions, and then be like "I FUCKING KNEW IT"

14. Okay, see...he'd. He'd wanna say something that he thinks is cute. Which isn't a lot of things, maybe a baby bird or some shit. But the OBVIOUS answer is a skag, because I'm very dog.

15. Chocolate. Anyone who knows me at all knows that chocolate is the way to my heart. (Also jerky.)

16. We don't really do pet names? At least, I...haven't really thought of any decent ones. Probably a simple "babe", I guess?? (SORRY MORDY, THE CUTE AND CRINGE PET NAMES ARE RESERVED FOR MY IRL HUSBAND 😤😤😤)

17. 👀👀 COUGH COUGH ............ nah i'm messin', he really loves just chilling!!! Life on Pandora is chaotic, messy, and stressful...any chance to just sit and do something low-key is always appreciated.

18. Acts of service, for sure! Helping me solve problems, getting stuff for me, comforting me, he just likes checking on me and making sure I'm doing well!!

19. My winning personality ����

20. GRAH, I don't know. I guess he likes how resilient I can be, and how even in the face of stress and danger, I still try to crack jokes and break the tension for the benefit of those around me. He has a hard time seeing the brighter side of life sometimes, and so do I, but I'll be DAMNED if I'm just gonna sit by and let despair swallow me up.

21. Oh my HEART. I don't think he's much of an artist, but I will fold it up and keep it in my wallet forever, no matter what it looks like. <3

22. Mordy doesn't really like eating, so no. He only eats what he has to, so I would never try to snatch any snacks from him, tbh. I am actively throwing protein bars at him.

23. Lol. Red. ❤️

F/O Ask Game!!

A list of questions to answer about your f/o!! You guys can just go down the list and answer them all (I'd love to see it!!!) in a reblog, orrr you can reblog and have others ask you these questions in your inbox! Have fun!! PR.OSHI.P, NOT FOR YOU!

What animal does your f/o remind you of?

If you got your f/o a gift, what would you get them? 

What is your favorite hobby to think about doing with your f/o?

What chores would your f/o do around the house? Are there any they REALLY dislike?

Would you trust your f/o to drive a car?

What kind of ringtone or notification sound would you have for your f/o?

Would your f/o fight someone online? 

Does your f/o believe in soulmates?

How would you introduce your f/o to your friends? How do you think that would go? 

What's the first scenario that comes to your head when you think of being with your f/o?

What dynamic would you use to describe you and your f/o? 

What color do you associate with your f/o? 

How would your f/o introduce you to those they care about? How do you think that would go?

What animal do you remind your f/o of?

What would your f/o get you for Valentine's day, if anything? 

What does your f/o call you in their head? What do they call you aloud/to others?

What does your f/o like doing with you the most? 

How does your f/o show their love best? 

What's your f/o's favorite feature of yours?

What're your f/o's favorite personality traits of yours?

If your f/o drew you, how would you describe the art piece?

Does your f/o share food with you?

What color would your f/o associate you with?

What?? Who's tagging their friends again?- not me... I just really wanna see yalls answers. Formal invitation lest you become worried I don't wanna see it. @jpeg-indulgence @starshakez @moxanji-real @frankys-wife @katsenbergs-soulmate @katanahusband @fl0ralsxgar @one-winged-dreams AND LITERALLY ANYONE WHO SEES THIS.

[arahir]

sorry for getting deep but how do you make your life stop feeling meaningless and stuck on the routine and never doing anything memorable and feeling like time and youth is slipping through your fingers and-

i wish i had any easy answers for you! bear with me because this is long.

i think this is truly, the hardest thing any of us will have to contend with: life has no inherent purpose. you're a collection of cells given sentience for a period of time. this can be horrific, or beautiful, and our ways of dealing with this are myriad. some people find god. some people find a more private spirituality. some people throw themselves into work, into art, into family and friends, into some form of legacy, into hedonism. most of us do all of that to various degrees.

this is what i will say: it got better for me after i hit 30. it got better for me when i got good friends and started putting my effort into them. it got better for me when i started indulging hobbies and larks, taking time to seek out and appreciate art in whatever form and making time to make my own, a nice see-saw of creation and appreciation. it got better for me when i accepted that i can be a scientist and an atheist and still find something spiritual and magical and deeply meaningful in the world around me. there's no one answer.

i find it both forgiving and encouraging: there's no inherent purpose, so you really can't mess up in deciding what yours will be. there's no inherent purpose, so any purpose you give your life is more than there was before, and to that end, you can only win. if you do anything to make the world or your life even marginally better by whatever metric you set (and i trust that all of us here are the sort of people who believe good can exist), you've done it. and better, you can keep doing more of it.

so: making time for others, showing appreciation, showing gratitude. call someone and tell them you love them. write a letter. send something to a friend, even a dm. make a date to see someone you haven't in a while. make small talk. study some art, make some art. go somewhere new, even if it's walking down a new street. play a new video game, read a new book, read a fic, watch an episode of a new show. set a tiny, miniscule goal and complete it.

i can say that doing anything will help more than worrying about not having done enough. it's never too late to start doing something, even doing a tiny bit a day of anything is enough, and you can't get it wrong as long as you're trying. and above all, as always, be nice to yourself. it can feel like you've done something wrong to end up where you are, but every decision you ever made in your life, you made for a reason that made sense at that moment and that's not nothing. wherever you are now, you have choices about how you move forward. you can fall back, fuck up, waste a day. it's all going to be fine. find something that brings meaning to your life and pursue it. sometimes that's yucking it up on tumblr, and sometimes it's reading poetry, or going for a hike, or writing a novel, or doing something good for someone or for society. and sometimes it's eating fried noodles. it doesn't matter as long as you're moving forward <333

[companionjones]

Days, Weeks, Months, Years (9/10)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Fandoms: MCU, Marvel

Warnings: Coma, Cursing, Implied almost self harm

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10

*******

In the days you were gone, I mean physically there but mentally gone, the compound was at a standstill.

The only person who didn't understand it all was Valentina. She had expected to be interrogated and grilled. Maybe even tortured or maimed by Bucky or someone, but she was just locked in a room and fed three times a day. It was like she was already in prison. Which didn't make sense to her because no one knew why she did it.

****

The Avengers took shifts being in that room with you, but Bucky never left. He slept with his head on your bed and his hand holding yours. Sometimes, he was convinced to eat, but after a certain point, it was to keep himself from passing out during the day.

The Avengers took shifts being in that room with you, but Bucky was also given some time alone with you. When it was just you and him, Bucky would pray like he never had before, which he hadn't, not since the 40s, anyway. Bucky would talk to you, too.

"...Everyone...Everyone always talks to people when they're in your position. But...I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, doll...Not just for not being able to s-save you, but for...for not being able to be with you...Really with you. Like you deserve.

"When you first got here, I knew I was in trouble. You were everything. Smart, beautiful, badass, sexy; I barely knew what to do with myself around you. So, I did what I always do. I shut down completely, and I waited for you to go away.

"But you never did. Wherever I went, you were always there at my side. At first, I found it annoying because I could never be at ease around you, but soon, that all went away. Soon, you were you and I was me and there was nothing that could keep us apart. And...that scared me.

"Then, that first night happened. We were alone, watching that cheesy movie you love, and I...I couldn't help myself. God, that night was perfect. You were perfect. I mean, you're always perfect--But I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Despite how amazing everything was that night, I don't remember being more scared than that morning after--excluding the past few days, of course.

"I woke up that morning, I looked at you, you were still asleep, and all I could think about was fucking this up--fucking you up.

"God, I am such an idiot. I preach about how much I don't want to hurt you, yet that's what I've been doing all this time. God, why can't I just get my shit together--" Bucky's hands were shaking as he flexed them in front of his face. It looked like he was going to hit something, maybe himself.

"Stop." Your voice, barely audible, told him. You gently touched his hand that was closest to you, your weak a hand a stark contrast to his strong one.

Bucky gasped when he heard your voice and felt you touch him. "Y/n?" He wondered if you were really there.

He saw your eyes barely open to look at him.

"Hey," he softly greeted, took a big breath, then repeated, even softer, "Hey." Bucky adjusted himself accordingly to get closer to you.

The smallest of smiles appeared on your face. "Missed you."

Bucky let you take his face into your hand. He whispered, "Missed you, too."

*******

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

*******

Tag List: @sidraaaaaaaaa // @dontworryboutitsweetheartxx-blog // @mayusenpai666 // @onceithough // @greatenthusiasttidalwave // @shadowzena43 // @ampersam // @sebastians-love // @cjand10 // @silentwhisper666 // @superaveng // @vicmc624 // @ltsaradharkness

[slcmml]

charlie & gn! reader — as long as i’m with you.

“i’d like to see the sharks.”

☆ this one is very self indulgent, because i adore sea life, but i like to imagine your first date with charlie was at an aquarium.

☆ he LOVES the touch tanks; he thinks they’re so fucking cool (and they are, by the way).

☆ walking through the underwater tunnel with him.. “are they fucking?” “..i think so.” “us?” “sure.”

☆ FEEDING THE ANIMALS WITH CHARLIE AUGGHHH!! he named each and every single animal he fed (despite them already having a name). “can i call you glub? you seem like a glub with the way you eat that fish.” “what does that even mean, charlie?”

☆ if you’re anything like me, then you definitely brought a polaroid camera with you. TAKING THE SILLIEST PHOTOS WITH CHARLIE AUGGHH.. kill me now.

☆ also buying the stupidest shit in the gift shop before you leave (shark gun shark gun shark gun)

“hey, that statue kind of looks like you!”

★ would it be horrible of me to say this is also self indulgent because i also adore museums?

★ now. i do not physically believe this museum date would be one of those cute ones where you hold hands and enjoy the silence together. because this is charlie we’re talking about.

★ he’s probably giggling at the paintings of naked people. “oh wow, he’s got a small cock.” “charlie, you said that so loud.”

★ physically cannot stand there and look at a painting for more than thirty seconds. he NEEDS to be in the kids section with all the interactive stuff.

“i fucking hate being an adult. why do stinky children get the cool shit?”

★ as always, will take the goofiest photos in front of anything he finds even slightly silly.

★ you both probably spend nothing more than an hour and a half in there before leaving to get something to eat, but that’s okay, the ice cream you shared was a banger.

“you spent fifty dollars trying to win me that?”

☆ arcade dates.. aughhh they’re so cute.. AND WITH CHARLIE??

☆ i think we all know the claw machines are rigged. but i’m not one to lay there and take it in the ass so i WILL spend as long as it takes trying to get a toy from it if charlie even SLIGHTLY mentions thinking it’s cute.

“babe, it’s fine, you don’t have to—” “i’m not letting this fucking machine dictate whether or not my boyfriend can have this goddamn octopus plush.”

☆ also i just KNOW that charlie would suck ass at dance dance revolution but he’d still spend at least half an hour going through songs and trying to win.

☆ spending SO fucking long going through the arcade games, trying to beat the high score on at least ONE of them (you never end up getting the high score).

“i’m tired, can we start heading back, please?”

★ i.. also enjoy hiking. another self indulgent one. but whatever.

★ you two probably take the silliest photos (like always). you laying on the ground, playing dead, in one photo while charlie has a shocked expression in the next.

★ collecting rocks and leafs. placing said rocks on the ground once you both decide to go off trail because it seemed fun. losing track of said rocks and getting lost.

“where the fuck are we?” “i think we’re in hell.”

★ watching as charlie tries to climb literally ANYTHING, and being slightly worried that he’ll fall.

★ getting SO fucking bored as you’re walking, trying to find the trail again, that you both just start playing i-spy.

“oh shit, oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! help me, i’m fucking falling!”

☆ roller skating dates.. mmmm.. has anyone seen that clip of charlie spinning around and then pointing to the camera? because of that clip, i don’t think he’s a HORRIBLE skater.. but definitely not a pro.

☆ he sure acts like it, though! tries to do these cool ass tricks and lands directly on his ass before whining about it.

“if i can jump and spin, can you please buy me nachos?”

☆ his ass does NOT land. you buy him nachos anyway.

☆ teehee.. i really like the idea of holding hands and skating around and just being silly little goobers.. charlie please save me, charlie if you can hear me, please save me charlie..

☆ takes your hand and dramatically dips you, “so, uh.. you come here often?” and then you both get off balance and fall.

© slcmml

[uv-ray-writes]

“What did you do?” The hero’s voice was flat, the words sharp like an accusation, though their eyes betrayed a flash of something—hurt? Confusion? It didn’t matter. They didn’t get to act like they were the victim here.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the villain shrugged their shoulders, trying to look as casual as possible. They couldn’t let the hero see how much this was eating at them—how deeply it hurt, even if they wanted to pretend otherwise.

“Don’t be coy.”

“Well, maybe you should be more specific.” The villain grinned, a little too wide, a little too innocent. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Where is it?”

“Where is what?”

“Your mark,” the hero said through gritted teeth. “It’s gone.”

“Oh. That.” The villain took a step back, glancing at their now-bare wrist, the place where the mark had once been—where their bond to the hero had once lived. “I guess it finally decided to take a vacation. I hope it’s having fun, you know, away from the whole ‘soulmate’ thing.” They paused, letting the words sink in with a mischievous glint in their eyes. “It might’ve needed some space. Some people had real strong opinions about it and they weren’t shy about making their opinions known.”

“For good reason.”

“There’s never a good reason to tell your soulmate to fuck off, you know,” the villains scoffed. “Aren’t all of you goody two shoes supposed to know that? That’s like chapter one on ‘How to be a Decent Human Being’.”

“Not everyone’s soulmate goes around murdering people.”

“Oh yeah, because you’ve never killed a single person in your entire life,” the villain’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“It’s not the same,” the hero ground out, barely holding back the rage.

The villain crossed their arms, their voice dripping with mock sympathy. “Oh, it’s very much the same. You kill people because they don’t agree with you, and I—” They spread their arms with a slow, mocking flourish, “—do the exact same thing. Only, I’m honest about it. You’re just a hypocrite in shiny armour.”

“You don’t get to compare us,” the hero hissed. “You kill because you like it. I do it to protect people, to stop you.”

The villain let out a short laugh, bitter and sharp. “You really still believe that, don’t you? That you’re the good guy? How precious. We both know you’re just as capable of cruelty as I am.”

“That’s not—” The hero took a deep breath, trying to steady themself. “We’re soulmates. That should mean something.”

“Should it?” The villain raised an eyebrow, their voice laced with venom. “Because it doesn’t feel like it means a damn thing. You never wanted it. I was the one who tried to make peace with it, to accept it. You rejected it. You rejected me.”

The hero’s eyes flickered with a flash of guilt, but they quickly masked it with anger. “You’re a villain. You’re everything I fight against.”

“And you’re the hero, right?” The villain’s lip curled into a sneer. “The shining knight who thinks they have all the answers. Well, guess what? I don’t need your approval. I didn’t need your mark either.”

The hero’s voice was dangerously low. “What did you do?”

The villain gave a dramatic shrug, their hand flapping in a dismissive gesture. “Oh, nothing major. Just broke up with fate. Made a deal with a god, got it erased. No big deal.” They grinned. “You wouldn’t believe the paperwork, though. Gods really need to streamline their processes.”

The hero was silent for a moment, processing what they were hearing. “You… erased it? You got rid of it? You didn’t... you didn’t have to do that.”

“Didn’t I?” The villain tilted their head, letting the sarcasm drip from their words like honey. “Because, from where I was standing, it seemed like you were the one who couldn’t even look at me without trying to burn a hole through my skull. So, yeah, I thought maybe it was time to call it quits. Anyway, funny story about that.” The villain stepped closer, their playful tone still dancing in the air. “You know how they always say soulmates are a gift? So I just walked up to fate and demanded a refund.”

“Stop making jokes about this,” the hero snapped, frustration creeping into their voice. “You don’t just get rid of your soulmate’s mark. That’s… that’s insane.”

“Well, call me insane then.” The villain grinned wider.

The hero narrowed their eyes. “You don’t get it. This was supposed to mean something. We were supposed to mean something.”

The villain’s face flickered with something—something soft, almost sad—before they masked it with another flippant grin. “Oh, trust me, I get it. I’ve always gotten it. You were the one who never wanted this. You were the one who couldn’t even look at me without cringing. At least I gave it a shot. But you? You hated it. You hated the idea of being connected to someone like me.”

“Stop,” the hero said sharply, their frustration mounting. “I never hated you. It wasn’t like that. I just—”

“Couldn’t accept me, right? Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, I get it now.” The villain waved a hand, interrupting them with a grin that was all sharp edges. “I’m a villain. You’re a hero. We’re so star-crossed. Shakespeare would’ve had a field day with us.”

The hero’s face softened for a moment, a flicker of guilt flashing across their features. “I never said that.”

“Oh please.” The villain scoffed, crossing their arms. “You couldn’t even stand being in the same room with me. Every time you looked at me, I saw the disgust in your eyes. I wasn’t your soulmate, I wasn’t even a person to you. All you saw was a villain, a person you had to hate because it made you feel good about yourself.”

The hero was quiet, the accusation hanging in the air. But the villain was already moving on, their playful tone back in full force. “Anyway, it wasn’t like I had much of a choice. I made a deal, and bam! Problem solved. No more mark. No more weird soulmate obligations. No more you looking at me like I’m about to tie you to a chair and spout an evil monologue about world domination.”

The hero clenched their fists, trying to hold onto their temper. “Why didn’t you fight for us?”

The villain’s eyes darkened, the bitterness creeping into their voice again. “Do you really think I didn’t try? Do you think I wanted to be free of you? But I couldn’t do it anymore. The pain of knowing I was nothing to you? The constant reminder of what I could never have?”

“You could’ve fought for it,” the hero argued, their voice shaking with frustration. “For us. I didn’t want this. But I would’ve—I would’ve tried if you had.

The villain’s face hardened, the smile fading. “No, you wouldn’t have. I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me. You couldn’t even say the word ‘soulmate’ without making a face like I’d just spat in your coffee.”

“You’re pushing me away,” the hero accused.

“Oh, please.” The villain threw their hands up, exasperated but still oddly charming in their annoyance. “I’m not pushing you away. I’m letting you go. There’s a difference. I figured it’d be kinder this way. You’d just end up tying me up and trying to reform me, like some kind of twisted, dysfunctional romance movie. Trust me, we’re better off without each other.”

There was a long silence, the weight of their words sinking in, but the villain was already backing away, their eyes twinkling with a mixture of mischief and something else, something more vulnerable that they didn’t want the hero to see.

The hero stood still, staring at the space where the villain had been, feeling a strange emptiness fill the space between them. The hero wanted to chase them, to argue, to fight for something—anything—but the words stuck in their throat.

“Well, that’s that,” the villain called over their shoulder. “You can go back to your clean, shiny world of righteousness and moral superiority. And I’ll just, you know, keep being the bad guy. No biggie.”

With that, the villain turned and walked away, their footsteps light, but there was a heaviness to their departure that the hero couldn’t ignore.

And as much as they hated to admit it, the hero felt like they’d just lost something they never really had.

[ammyamarant]

Kamen Rider Gavv ep 1 thoughts

Just going to watch one episode right now because I need to finish Kabuto and I need to Know what Kabuto has up its sleeve. But, the tl;dr of Gavv: Cute show, I can see how traumatized this poor kid will get by the end

Gavv ep 1

okay so I’m already reminded of W. Wonder if there will be a mentor figure that dies like Soukichi does in the first fucking five minutes of W

oh neat doors. I’ve seen Labyrinth too.

jfc how old is this kid he looks baby

yeet out of a plane and the tinkly “oh this is the world mom is from” music lmao

lbr considering the environment you just escaped from and the way you were happy to be freefalling because you were where your mom is from, I think needing some food is understating it.

"what do you have? Do you eat it?" has the same energy as my "what is gender? do you eat it?" joke

WHAT IS YOUR BODY MADE OF

Karakida I want your jacket. Give

Ah you have no communication skills. Understood

"This isn't a monster case" "So what is it?" "Woman fucking killed her own husband and shh keep your fucking voice down"

"today's harvest" and it looks like bloody organs. Hey I've seen 12 Hour Shift too.

oh you've never been allowed actual food have you

oh goddamn it I can hear Apollo aiming the dodgeball already

my dude. you got a tummy ache then gave birth to something. human women would kill for that to be their normal gestation cycle.

mm, cgi is kinda……………………

"hey now I've been fed actual food and have real energy I can make minions" yeah I mean that makes sense. People get all kinds of bodily processes back once they've been properly fed. Usually takes a while for their body to recover but hey you ain't human so I get it

this kid is so sweet and kind giving obvious main character (yeah I know it's shouma) a place to stay and some sweets to eat.

oh right the street drugs WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT HENTAI ASS THING

oh it's just a mouth. Wicked teeth.

Shouma is such a sweetheart

Also ye, I can see why Shouma is enchanted by sweets if his mom never let him have any of the family drugs.

excuse me I need to figure out a way to get into this world and beat down this addict before he hurts this kid

Shouma I would like a full rundown of what you can do because was that super speed and running perpendicular on a vertical surface? My dude? Answers?

Mm, sick monster design

Yeah, the monster and the kid both being like "hey what the fuck" to Shouma is fucking hilarious.

oh fucking ow

your mom turned into a bloody organ thing. Are we sure this isn't just a horror movie?

I feel like these minion things showing up saying "eat gummy!" shouldn't feel as threatening as they do.

OH GOD THE CRYING EYES. I'M HOWLING

"oh with the other one" lmao

I wonder what this show is like on edibles because the bright colours are fun and I had a blast watching Ex-Aid baked. Tho I'd consider that a little too on the nose considering the street drug metaphor of those dark candies

little dudes go somewhere safe that isn't under the fighting feet!

oh interesting so if he gets a lot of battle damage he can repair it by using another minion. Very neat. Wish more "battle damage" was repairable that easily. Looking at you, 3rd Birthday.

oh calling both of them monsters and Shouma just taking it is heartbreaking.

I'm definitely feeling the difference between Takaiwa and whoever the suit actor for Gavv is, but it's more "huh, that's a different way of doing the stunts" than anything bad. I do miss Takaiwa but that's mostly because he's a fucking legend. This guy's doing great, tho.

did… they repurpose the build driver for this?

takaiwa usually stood upright, even for meek characters like Ryotaro, while it seems like this guy's default stance is hunched over. iiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting. Says a lot about Shouma in this form

okay I was about to say this Rider Kick is lame, but nah, it's pretty good.

Shouma you are sunshine and joy wrapped in ptsd. That's not even a joke I know you're fucking riddled with ptsd from just your memories of your mother alone

Shouma you are not Eiji stop being a hobo

Cute show.

[multifandomxzion]

Phaindei x Chubby! reader oneshot

Phainon and Mydei are definitely the types who dont care what their partner looks like, if she alittle thick than she alittle thick! Who cares right?

Unfortunately some people care than you realize, including yourself. You started trying to make an intense work out routine for yourself, desperately trying to lose weight, this included jogging through Akenma Market. There were these 2 guys lounging about talking about how they could lift practically anything, 1 of them saw you and stopped you in your tracks.

Guy 1: Hey! Think I could lift you real quick? you dont seem that heavy

you: Uhh, I don- AH!

The guy doesn't even wait around for an answer before practically ripping at your waist trying to pick you up, only to buckle to his knees panting and wheezing, his friend laughing at him

Guy 1: Dont laugh at me! this one is made of bricks! How do you even stand upright when you way the same as the droma's?!

The crowd around you stares, some quietly laughing, some unamused by the 2 "bodybuilders". You were about to run away and cry, humiliated when you heard a voice beyond the crowd.

Phainon Route

Phainon: Do you really think that insulting someone because of your weak capabilities make you any better a man than the rude onlookers of this crowd? Nonsense! I know for a fact that my sweetheart here is not such heavy as you claim, Dont believe me?

Reader: P-phainon you really dont have to- GAH-!

Phainon swoops you up in his arms, holding you in a bridal carry, the onlookers applausing him while the 2 men turn red in the phase

Phainon: Well? Still wanna say that my dear reader is.. "Heavy"? *he spits out with such a smug smile, The 2 men excuse themselves and gallop away, only then does phainon put you down*

Reader: Thank you phai-

Phainon: No more exercise for a week.

Reader: Huh?

Phainon: Im going to make you eat proper and delicious meals so you enjoy yourself, this routine you have currently only stresses you out

Reader: But, phai... im.. ugly like this.. Dont you think?

Phainon: Fuck no! *ahem* excuse my language, but, baby.. My moonlight! You must understand, I love you! I love, every bit of you, frankly I dont want you to lose weight, your perfect with all of these extra essentials, It just means I have more to love! But... I know this is something you want, all I ask is that you atleast let me monitor you

Mydei Route

Mydei: You dare shame our gods by using such foul descriptions against such a divine beauty as them?!

Reader: Mydei?

The crowd goes quiet, fear settling from Mydei's trembling aura

Guy 2: Whoah! M-Mydei??!

Mydei: You wanna repeat what you said now that im closer in earshot? *He says grabbing the first guy*

Guy 1: U-Uh... I uh.. s-said that they weighed as much as a Dromas??

Mydei: Oh really? *with one hand he effortlessly picks up your chubby body and plops you on his shoulders* Or your just too weak to be a real man~ *he smirks triumphantly*

The crowd gasps, then roars into applause, ashamed, the 2 guys run away.

Mydei: You confuse me as to why weight is such a problem. Your fine just as you are *he says finally putting you down*

Reader: Oh yeah? And just how do I benefit you when im so... round?

Mydei: Pillow, for 1~ *He says smugly*

Reader: I.. Shut up.. -//////-

Mydei: If you really are serious about losing weight, atleast let me train you, make sure that your healthy. *His words laced with adoration and genuine love, kissing your forehead tenderly*

Phaindei Route

Mydei: You dare shame our gods by using such foul descriptions against such a divine beauty as them?!

Phainon: Do you really think that insulting someone because of your weak capabilities make you any better a man than the rude onlookers of this crowd? Nonsense!

Reader: G-guys, please, its not that ser-

Mydei: Of course its serious. You are NOT too heavy.

Phainon: I strongly suggest you take back such vulgar words against them, what would our gods think of your behavior?

Guy 1: Why are you 2 so upset about it, if you think you can lift them no prob, YOU TRY IT!

They look at each other, smirks eminent, before Phainon swoops you in a bridal carry, as you try to process the situation your hoisted into the air more as Mydei carries you both on his shoulders, none of them breaking a sweat

Phainon: Ha! Just like old times eh Mydei?

Mydei: heh, seems ive gotten even stronger!

The audiance roars into a screaming applause! And the 2 guys dont dare to look up, silently disappearing with the crowd.

Tribbie: aww! they really love reader!

Castorice: Such a thing is very warming.

[beef-brisket]

Adam rolled his eyes as his sister walked away. Just because she's a saint and waits for marriage doesn't mean anything.

Adam: Who even waits for marriage anymore? All that ended when the war happened! People would rather die after getting fucked than dying a virgin.

Lucifer laughed: Tell me about it... so... what do you want to do?

Adam sighed: I better go get changed, then head back to the throne room before my parents come after me.

Lucifer nodded: And... do you want me to stay here?

Adam: If you could, dinner isn't far, and someone should be round soon to collect you. You'll need to get snatched for dinner.

Lucifer: Uh- "snatched"?

Adam: Yeah, when you see me, you'll know what I mean~.

Lucifer laughed as Adam waved and walked off.

-

And at dinner, Lucifer saw exactly what Adam meant.

Everyone stood as the prince walked in with his sister and stood near their thrones. Lucifer couldn't stop looking at Adam. He was wearing something that was a mixture of a suit and dress. It flowed down and hugged his cuves perfectly.

Next, the king and queen walked in, looking regal and intimidating.

King Edward: Everyone! What a joy us day! My darling son and your next king, has been returned to us!

Adam smiled and bowed as everyone cheeried.

Queen Sera: And, as reward for his return, he is to marry King Lucifer, of the Pride kingdom!

Lucifer smiled awkwardly as everyone turned and looked at him. He heard some whispering, but he couldn't hear the specifics. Eventually, they all cheered for him as well.

King Edward: This is a feast not only celebrating my sons return but also his engagement! Now, eat!

Lucifer could hardly focus on the food as he kept his eye on Adam, who was laughing with some of the people around him.

He jumped when he felt someone tap his shoulder.

Lucifer: Uh- yes?

Mark: So, you're the king of Pride, huh?

Lucifer: Oh, that I am!

Mark scoffed: I'm from Pride. It's a shit hole.

Lucifer glared: It's not a shit hole... I'm trying to-.

Mark: Y'know, some of my mates have a theory of who kidnapped the prince, and my guess was that it was you or someone associated with you.

Lucifer: W-What? Why?

Mark: Because you're desperate. Everyone in Pride is. Since the queen fucked off, shits gone down hill... and no one saw your for years. We thought you ran off with her! Or you're dead. Either one.

Lucifer: ...I was... busy. But, I've found a way to help our home.

Mark: Sure. I'll believe it when I see it... your "highness".

Prince Adam and Thief Lucifer

Lucifer, Alastor, and Vox ((RadioStatic yay! Lol))

Lucifer is a King of a dying Kingdom that is going to Hell (hahaha) and in order to survive and help his people him and the others steal as much as they can from neighboring kingdoms.

Adam is the heir to the throne in the Kingdom of Eden, his younger sister Emily won't be ready for it for a few more years yet.

Alastor gets the idea to kidnap one of them when he sees both Adam and Emily just out walking.

Fearing for his sister's safety, Adam volunteers to go with them willingly if they leave her.

So for safe keeping until they get the ransom money (you know the tower from tangled?) they take him to a tower that only they know about.

I love Prince Adam! Also, Lucifer, the hell are you doing hanging out with ruffians?

-

Vox searching Adam: He's got nothing! You're a Prince, where's your... jewels and gold?

Adam: Jewels? Gold? In this heat? I'd rather be chained up in your bdsm tower than wear gold on a day like today.

Alastor groans: Vox, teach him a lesson. His highness should know better than to speak out of line.

Vox: Teach him a lesson...?

Lucifer: Yeah, man. Punish him!

Adam: Yeah, punish me~.

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

not shown: the horrified customers standing there listening

HAHAJDHEHWGDGFHHJJJG

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms

ANYWAYS

A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.

The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.

“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.

“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”

Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…

The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”

The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”

The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”

“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”

The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.

Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.

One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.

This… might require some phone calls.

[dukeofthomas]

"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

[beef-brisket]

Adam sighed. What bullshit is this? He was here to get redeemed, but now he had to worry about some invisible force making him fuck Lucifer? Or will other residents be at risk?

He didn't know what was worse, fucking Lucifer or the possibility of fucking another resident. Adam shuddered thinking of fucking Alastor. Or Husk.

Angel would be fine, but... Nifty-.

Adam: Oh, fuck no. Seriously, man. The fuck was that? You're the Devil or whatever, surely you could stop this shit.

Lucifer eyed Adam for a moment. Especially his stomach: L-Look... I don't know- I couldn't do anything, included using my magic...

Adam sighed: So... you can't do anything NOW?

Lucifer: No... the magic or whatever it was is long gone. I can't stop what isn't here.

Adam: What bullshit... and if it happens again? What if we're eating dinner with everyone- or I'm in a fucking therapy session-.

Lucifer: If you touch my daughter, you're dead, Adam. I fucking mean it.

Adam rolled his eyes: Bitch, I don't fuck dykes. Or anyone at more than 8,000 years younger than me. I'm just saying that this shit could happen at any fucking time... what if... what if we're outside...

Lucifer shuddered: I don't know... we need to figure this out. And quick.

Adam: This shit sucks... fuck, I wish I was redeemed, then I wouldn't have to deal with this... and with you of all people.

Lucifer glared: What's wrong with me?!

Adam: What ISN'T wrong with you?! News flash, asshole, I fucking hate- dislike you. Charlie said hate is a strong word- not that that fucking matters. And you hate me, so you should be more pissed off about this than you are.

Lucifer: I-... I don't hate you-.

Adam rolled his eyes: Not this shit again, listen, we're not going over that shit again. We've got bigger things to worry about.

Lucifer sighed. There was no point in arguing with Adam. Lucifer had learned that the hard way.

Lucifer: Fine. You're right. Let's just... start with getting cleaned up.

As Lucifer lifted his hand, Adam threw a pillow at him.

Lucifer: What was that for?!

Adam: I'm showering, asshole! Don't you even think of just snapping me clean.

Lucifer sighed: And... what about there, uh... the... y'know... the... um-.

Adam: The what?! Dude, you're driving me nuts-!

Lucifer: The cum! What about the cum?!

Adam: ...What about it?!

Lucifer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose: There's a lot- so, do you want it gone- before you shower? You... you shouldn't let it go down the drain. It'll block the drain- and with the amount inside you it'll definitely fuck the drains, and we'll have to replace it- are you okay?

Looking over to the first man, Lucifer chuckled as he covered his face with a pillow and groaned loudly.

Adam: Please, shut up...

VooDoo Do You

@beef-brisket I really want this one 😩

-

Alastor put the finishing touches on the voodoo dolls of Adam the first man and Lucifer the King of Hell. It has taken so long to make them this perfect.

Hair from their pillows, feathers from their wings, ....... Other DNA things that he wished he didn't have to touch. It was finally over.

So he picked them up and started twisting them to cause pain. Those two morons have been a pain in his ass long enough and it's time to get even. They weren't too far away so he should be able to hear if it's working.

But nothing happened, he teleported to where Adam and Lucifer were sitting on the couch talking and tried.

Still nothing.

The fuck!?

Nifty came up to him: Something wrong Alastor?

Alastor sighed and handed them to her, if nothing else she can just have them for her puppet show.

Alastor: Just wasting my time apparently Nifty. Here, go nuts.

He left and she was so happy! He gave her a gift of her favorite ship!

Nifty: Hehehehe

They started to glow and sparkle with green magic.

Nifty: Oooou, pretty.

-

Adam: And I'm telling you, waffles are good too. Those pockets? Holds all the syrup.

Lucifer: Hmm, maybe. I like pancakes more, you can fold them like a taco.

Adam stretched: And that is your opinion. Tacos are good though, pancakes would be good for like, sweet tacos.

Lucifer: With strawberries?

Adam: Duh.

They looked as green sparkles glittered around them, they exchanged glances.

Adam: The fuck is this?

Lucifer: ....... I'm not sure.

[maliciousalice]

Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

DID YOU SEE THAT TARGET IS GONNA START SELLING COMBAT SUIT CHARLES FIGURES SOMETIME NEXT YEAR?????? HE LOOKS SO GOOD

https://marvelousnews.com/252-36312

a little birdy DID tell me and i cannot wait to stare at it for half an hour in the aisle when i should be getting cereal.......