#what the fuck is gonna be the true end. are they gonna make boss rush hell 2.0 + worlds worst boss to put at the end of it

[coryothesub]

Coryo from the academy being bullied by his classmates, the reader defends him, but with other intentions *wink, wink*

Oh dear anon this is an idea I didn't know I needed but I legit fell in love with it! This is also my first time writing Academy Coryo and I really enjoyed it, he’s just so innocent I can't... 

nsfw / mdni / academy!sub!coryo / academy!dom!reader

You were on your way to the library when you noticed a couple of girls taunting Coriolanus Snow in the hallway.

He was a year younger than you and you didn't know much about him except for the obvious fact that he was cute. And apparently he had some money problems because the whole conflict was about some extra food he had taken from the cafeteria for later.

“I knew it!” Valentia Frost looked upon him with an evil grin waving that goddamn sandwich in the air.

“Look at this little snob trying to act like he's one of us, but the Snows are actually a bunch of hungry beggars. So pathetic!”

Coriolanus stood by the wall completely frozen clutching at his textbooks. His face was flooded in red and you noticed tears welling up in his big blue eyes. He looked as if he was about to die from embarrassment and you suddenly felt sorry for him. Luckily you had the reputation of a menace after you had knocked out the biggest guy in your class when he tried to put a frog down your shirt.

“Leave him alone Valentia!” you shouted at her across the hallway. “The boy just wants to eat.”

“What are you his chaperone now?” The mean girl looked annoyed by your interference but she was also hesitant to push your buttons.

You approached her and stood dangerously close.

“Just fuck off!” You hissed and she reluctantly walked away, her clique following her immediately.

You grabbed Coryo by the hand and dragged him into an empty classroom nearby.

“Here you can eat your sandwich in peace.”

“T-thank you,” he said quietly, still looking terrified and embarrassed.

You approached him slowly and he started stepping back until he was stopped by an empty desk, he felt it pressing against his rear end and started leaning back as he felt your hot breath mere centimeters from his face.

“Don’t rush to thank me yet. Do you really think I'm done with you already?”

“I-I don't have any money…” Coryo confessed, his face bright red with shame.

You almost couldn't believe how innocent he was. He literally thought you were gonna make him pay for protection as if you were some kind of mob boss.

“I don't need your money, blondie,” you cooed and let your hand wander under his uniform kilt touching him rather inappropriately.

Coryo's mouth flew open as he slowly started to realize what were your true intentions.

It looked like he was trying to say something but words weren't coming out of his mouth, he just stared at you, his big baby blue eyes wide with shock.

You kept palming him for a short moment, then stopped abruptly.

“Of course, I’m not gonna do anything you don't like.”

The loss of contact elicited a soft whine from Coryo's lips.

“No, no, please…” he suddenly regained the ability to speak.

“Please what?” You teased, it was so arousing to see him all bushy and ashamed like that.

“Please continue… I did enjoy that.”

You leaned even closer to him, your lips lingering just near his.

“Okay then,” you whispered, causing his breath to hitch.

You let your lips press against his in what turned into a gentle kiss. You thought of it as pretty chaste, but Coryo almost jumped when he felt your lips on his.

Could it be possible that he hadn't even made out with a girl? The thought alone caused wetness to pool up in your panties.

You gave him a flirtatious smile and started unbuttoning your uniform jacket and shirt, revealing that you were wearing a pristine white bra. Without hesitation you pulled your titties out of the lacy fabric making Coryo gasp at the sight.

“Do you like what you see, Coriolanus?”

“I-I think you can call me Coryo now,” the boy was barely able to get the words out.

“You have beautiful breasts. May I…?”

Instead of an answer you took his hands and placed them on your tits. Coryo started fondling them carefully, his thumbs circling around your nipples, which were getting hard under his touch.

Enjoying his warm and soft hands on your skin you unzipped your uniform pants and let them fall freely on your neat shoes, followed by your panties.

You sat Coryo on the side of the desk and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, then got his kilt out of the way and slowly lowered yourself on his bulge, letting out a soft moan at the feeling of your naked wet pussy pressing against the raw fabric.

Coryo watched your movements in awe, his eyes widening at the sight of your bare cunt landing just above his aching cock. He wanted to fuck you so badly but you had decided to leave that for later.

You knew his virgin cock wouldn't be able to take it for too long so you started rubbing your dripping cunt against his hard-on slowly grinding your hips back and forth.

Coryo let out a cute little whimper and you echoed it with a moan finally feeling a little relief for your aching pussy.

“So responsive, baby, so hard for me already,” you whispered against his lips before catching them in another kiss. Coryo kept making the cutest sounds that vibrated against your mouth as you kept rubbing yourself on him making circular movements to get some friction for your clit.

The blonde boy moved lower leaving a trail of soft warm kisses down your neck and wrapping his lips around your nipple. He sucked on your titties hungrily as you dug your fingers into his soft blonde curls and tugged on them gently feeling your climax slowly approaching.

You sped up your movements grinding yourself against his rock hard bulge with full intensity feeling your wetness overflowing and staining his red uniform pants. The friction felt so damn good that it brought you over the edge and you threw your head back moaning loudly as you came all over his clothed cock.

You grabbed Coryo's face and kissed him roughly feeling his whole body trembling as he came inside his pants. The boy's mouth fell open and you licked along his lips and tongue as he savored his orgasm, probably the most powerful he had experienced yet. 

After climbing off Coryo's lap you looked at him with a satisfied smirk. The boy's pants were completely messed up, both from his cum and yours, he sat there panting heavily, his face flushed and hair disheveled. He looked so pretty like that.

“Look at all the mess you made,” you mused. “Turns out you're a little whore, Coriolanus Snow.”

Coryo had no arguments to refute that. The shade of red filling his cheeks only got a bit deeper.

“Are we going to do this again?” He asked, looking at you curiously.

You smiled at him and adjusted his kilt, hiding the big wet stains on his pants.

“Of course darling, I’ve still got a lot to teach you after all.”

[all-pacas]

do you ever think about chase vs kutner replacing house... i got the vibe that they were setting up kutner to be house's successor and then had to switch to chase. his character arc in s8 was a little sudden if i remember correctly (havent seen it in like a year lolsies) but it was also really interesting. but also i love kutner and i can imagine him running a department with a lot more gusto than chase. interesting to wonder if kutner would continue the cycle of (weird) abuse like chase presumably does, or if things would be different with him in charge

I mean, I hope this isn't a hot take, because I think Kutner was great, but there was no way he was ready to take over for House any time soon. It was a running joke that he was a massive liability; he kept pretty consistently making pretty severe mistakes (setting people on fire!). And he also had a real creative brilliance, he was smart as hell and had a ton of potential, but he was nooooot anywhere near a leader. He'd have made a great number two, though. And it's possible with a few more years of development, he would have gotten better, but to be honest most of the time to show was setting up Foreman to be the true successor, not Kutner or Chase.

Which I think says a lot about what the show thinks — and House thinks, maybe — about what the "next House" should be. I think Foreman is hands down the smartest of the fellows on like, a testing level. He lacks the Chase/Kutner/House creative spark, but he's always set up as the Smart One, someone whose brains House respects from day one, someone who has entire character arcs about being like House and not wanting to be. And over time the show drifted away from that, and became more aware of his flaws. We also know that he was never planned on becoming the New Cuddy, they were floating bringing back one of the S4 rejects for the role for a while, they didn't plan on Cuddy leaving. I think that Foreman was planned on being the successor. That's almost stated from S1.

And in a way I think it's bad writing, because the show did lean more into him having a pathological need to be in charge, and because it tended to humble him by having him kill patients, which, uh, undermines the "he's the best doctor" thing by a lot. The fact that Foreman as Dean of Medicine makes so much sense feels kind of… telling? It feels right for him to be an admin and a boss instead of a Creative Genius Doctor, you know?

Likewise, Chase taking over was definitely a S8 thing. I was looking at the dates and airdates and stuff: Hugh Laurie announces he's not continuing the show, and the very next episode to air is Nobody's Fault, followed by Chase. The episode after those is one where everyone agrees Chase deserves to be "team leader;" Chase then gets a run of solving cases while House isn't around. Like, very clearly the show went "oh, fuck, we have 14 episodes left of the series," and one of the main tasks was setting up Chase as House's successor. And I think it does actually fit well, even if it's obviously rushed. Even if it was an accident, he did have the best solve rate of the fellows, and there is something very fitting about it. (Honestly, if they weren't cowards, they wouldn't have fired Jennifer Morrison and we could have had an ending montage where the original kids literally emulate the grown ups: head of diagnostics, dean of medicine, and Cameron as a department head to slot in for Wilson. Imagine.)

SO ANYWAY. TL;DR part one: Chase being the successor wasn't planned at all, but I think it fits. Kutner, god love him, would have made an incredible number two (imagine him being Chase's #2), but I really don't think he was ready for leadership.

(To be fair, Chase also almost never got a chance to be a leader, although we do see him mentoring Park and Masters a bit and doing it well.)

(I'm gonna have to make a different post about a leadership tangent WATCH THIS SPACE)

As for Kutner's leadership style… honestly, I think he'd have so much fun. I think his fellows would have so much fun. I'm not sure how efficient they'd be (I don't picture Kutner as a big details and paperwork kind of guy), but his patients would love him too. It would be so nice.

[v3nusxsky]

Can I request a lady lesso X ever teacher!reader in which dovey walks in on them having sex. R is freaking out while quickly getting dressed thinking she's gonna be fired, dovey is having a breakdown over seeing her friends naked and lesso is just living for the chaos while laughing at the other two. After everyone has had their initial reaction and calmed down a bit dovey tells them she is going to make them go through the true loves trial because she refuses to believe this is anything more than sex, lesso is so game and about to leave to find the headmaster when r yells at her to put some clothes on. This leads to the tables being turned and lesso being the embarrassed one whole dovey and r are laughing their asses off to which lesso curses then both.

Well that’s humiliating 18+

*Authors note~ just trying to catch up on these for you all. So glad you are all enjoying them*

Trigger warnings~ smutt being caught teasing?

Prompt~ see ask*^^^

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You knew it was wrong, but truly how can something be so wrong yet feel so good? Lady lesso was the object of your desire. I mean was it really surprising?That women was the literal definition of sex on legs. By some grace of the gods above Leonora was just as taken with you as you were her. Which is how you ended up in your current position underneath her.

Forbidden love was one of your favourite tropes to read, your classes often focused on those types of texts. But living it? Oh it was so much more than you'd ever imagined. Sneaking around to see each other, the longing looks and secret touches. Yes this here was the stuff of your dreams. You were pretty sure it wasn't just about sex. No you had feelings for the dean, yet you couldn't publicly announce that. Evers and Nevers shouldn't date. That was a rule even professors had to abide by. That's what made this even more scandalous. Maybe you could've abided by the rule and been unsatisfied but now you knew what her skin felt like, what it felt like to have her touching you it was simply impossible. Nothing would state the desire accept her.

For months you'd some how gotten away with it. Sneaking around and having the best sex of your life with the woman of your dreams. Life was truly perfect. Now the dean had you exactly how she wanted you. On her bed as naked as the day you were born, her strap buried deep inside your needy cunt as your walls fluttered around it. Your moans were desperate pleads as she taunted you never stopping the punishing pace of her hips. "Oh look at you doll, not very ever like begging for the dean of evil to fuck you until you can't do anything but take me is it ?" She moved to kiss you before purring into your ear, "a pretty whore and your all mine right doll?"

You were about to reply when the slamming of a door ripped you cruelly away from the pleasure you'd been receiving. There stood the Dean of Good. Shit! How had you been caught? Oh you were so going to lose your job. Quicker than lightning you separated from Leonora hurrying to find the clothes that had been thrown around the room hours earlier. Apologies and phoney explanations were mumbled as you rushed around trying to make this situation anything other than what it was. After all your boss had found her arch enemy giving you an amazing dicking down. Only when your modesty was covered did you realise Leonora stood still fully naked and strapped up laughing her ass off at you. Your rushed and clumsy movements amused her to no end. The desire you had to be good was truly admirable.

"Clarissa" she purred not even the smallest bit self conscious, "there's this new thing. It's called knocking have you considered that not everyone wants to be around you and your annoying ever protocols?" Your eyes were drew to the strap that had been deep inside your core just moments before as a blush took up residence on your cheeks. This was single handedly the most humiliating experience of your life and yet your Leo looked as cool as a cucumber and Clarissa looked like she was about to faint at the lack of regret Leonora was showing. "Leonora you know the rules, you would have to complete the trail to prove your love is true, did you really need to corrupt a well respected Ever professor?" She all but hissed at the other dean. The smirk that you'd come accustomed to graced Lesso's plump lips before she retorted back, "corrupt? No Dovey she was far from pure before this even started. A trial? Easy I shall go get the headmaster now then" she stated and went to turn on her heels.

"Leo? Your clothes" you shouted not wanting her to be embarrassed or cold, you watched as she stopped in her tracks and now held a deep blush herself. Clarissa let laughter slip first and you couldn't help but join in. As embarrassing as the situation was this was truly something. If you didn't laugh you'd cry. Leonora mumbled curses at you and Clarissa whole magicking her usual attire, not a hair out of place. "Clarissa do try and act grown up here, anyone would think you haven't ever had sex" she snapped before turning to you, "you pet are in for a world of punishment after we do this stupid trail to prove to that idiot over their we love one another" she pointed at Clarissa's still laughing form, "come pet we have a trail to complete, im not done with you." She purred linking your arm with hers.

"Are you coming Clarissa or are you going to stand there all night? I assure you when we return you will not wish to be present" she stated seeming pulling the other dean from her laughter and raising an eyebrow, "unless you'd like to join my dear dove?" She purred laughing she she guided you from the room, leaving a very stunned Clarissa stood gaping like a fish.

Word count ~ 1047

[somberauthor]

so i was looking at your ‘what i write for’ list and saw helluva boss and nobody has asked you for any(to my knowledge), and i kinda want to change that. Could you maybe do an Octavia one where reader shares music with her? it would be platonic, and maybe you could make it kinda angst-y???(if you’re comfortable with that of course!!).

I'M SO SORRY FOR LIKE... NOT POSTING FOR A WHILE (I do that a lot and it's kinda not good chat...) I'm here now though, and I'm on summer break so I SHOULD be able to like... get through all of my requests now. BUT YEAH PLS ENJOY MY PROJECTION ONTO OCTAVIA!!!

You had been friends with Octavia for a while now. Neither of you could remember how at this point, you just spawned in each others lives one day and you two just couldn't be separated. You two had just met up at your house, talking about non-important things.

You both just stopped talking as you closed the door to your room, the silence quickly becoming unnerving. You cleared your throat as you went to your laptop, listening to Octavia shuffle onto the bed. There was a lot of teenage awkward tension in the air, and no matter how good of friends you two may have been, Teenage awkwardness never leaves until graduation.

''What music do you like listening to?'' you had asked this question many times before but she'd just respond with a shrug and just a simple ''rocks cool, but i dunno.''. This time was different though.

''I like the band Fuck You Dad. It's kinda... Metal-ish? I'm not sure what genre it would fall into other than metal.'' She shrugged, leaning up. The tension was still in the air due to the silence of no one moving, but it was lifting with every sound made.

''You want me to put the band on? I'll show you some of my favorites after if you'd like.'' You spoke, looking for the band's account on your favorite music platform.

''Sure. Put on the song My World Is Burning Down Around Me.'' She fiddled with her sleeve, seeming almost uncharacteristically afraid to say the title. I mean, it certainly was a title. It almost made you worried about her, but you'd rather just listen to the music before making yourself worried over something so little as music. You've thought for so long that you've found the song and your cursor is just... hovering over it. You found it almost a minute ago, and now the computers just getting antsy.

You click on the play button, letting the song begin and rush out of your speakers. She definitely wasn't lying when she said it was metal. You queue up some of your sad songs, so she didn't have to be the only vulnerable one. Once you finished up with the queue, you went and sat down next to her. You two spoke occasionally, the both of you much more focused on the music than simple conversation.

Once the song ended, a different song began, one that you happened to relate deeply to. You looked at her, sudden fear struck you. It was about the issues with your parents, and the fact your mother was a raging asshole. You looked over at Octavia, making sure she didn't seem bored or seem worried or upset. She seemed lost in thought, you just looked around.

''Y'know... I've never heard this song, what is it called?'' She looked over at you, snapping herself out of whatever trance had caught her attention. You jump ever so slightly at her voice. You answer her with a smile, looking over at her.

''Why do you ask?'' You ask, a quizzical expression carved on your face.

''I... I relate to it.'' Your eyes widen slightly, she had the same struggle? Nice. Or uh. Not nice?

''Same. You really need to catch me up on the Octavia Lore.'' You chuckle, earning a snicker from the owl next to you.

''Yeah like I'm the one who's secretive about my mom.'' It's true she complained as things were happening but... She had never told you about her childhood with her mother.

''Well... uh... hush.'' You chuckled once again, all the tension and anxiety melting away all at once with a single smile.

You two were gonna be inseparable for as long as you two knew each other.

[sunnyie-eve]

5 | Party Time

Series: Heinous

Paring: Billy Loomis x OFC ! Stu Macher x OFC ! Mickey Altieri x OFC

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

"You going to Stu's party?" Billy asks Allison following her outside.

"Yeah, the girls kinda begged me. You going?"

"Stu told me Tatum said to keep his mouth shut about it but we all know his mouth." Billy walks closer to her with a smile. "True and speak of the Devil," She says, as Stu comes walking out over to them.

"Oh tell Billy about, if you were a killer wanting to get away with it but people knew it was you... how would you get away?" Stu wraps an arm around her.

"You can tell him yourself because I have to get back to the girls." She removes him arm walking off so Billy looks at Stu who tells him what she said to him. 

"Those are good plan B's in case A doesn't work out, right?" Stu gives Billy a look.

"Yeah, most people get caught on the run and or killed. Smart idea." Billy smiles thinking about which of the two would be better to do in case they have to.

When Allison gets to the girls she jokes about how they didn't pick her up and she had to walk to them, "We were gonna get you after getting the food," Tatum tells her as they walk back to the car.

"Well, all the guys were being creepy about the killer and saying who it is so I left." She tells them as Dewey shows up.

"Because they are all fucked up." Tatum laughs.

Dewey ends up dropping the girls off and Tatum and Sidney rush into the house with the food while Allison follows behind till she sees Randy, "So I really can't drink?" She walks over to him.

"Nope, you gotta follow the rules." He spins her around.

"Not even one?" She pouts hoping it would work on him.

"Not even a sip." He says, making her whine.

"Stu!" She snaps her fingers at him as he walks into the same room as them.

"Al!" He smiles.

"Can I have a sip of your beer?" She bats her eyes at him.

"Nope." He sits down with Tatum by him and Sidney by her on the couch.

"Why not?"

"Because I say no drinking for you tonight." He says, making her jaw drop.

"What? When did you and Randy become the boss of me?"

"We are just trying to keep you safe tonight." Stu grabs her hand pulling her down into his lap.

"Stop!" She whines trying to get out of his arms. When she gets out of them she moves to sit on the other side of him.

"How many Evil Dead's? How many Hellraisers?" Randy asks the room of people.

"The Fog, Terror Train, Prom Night. How come Jamie Lee Curtis is in all these movies?" Sidney asks, looking at them.

"She's the... Scream Queen." Randy tells her.

"With a set of lungs like that, she should be," Stu says and the girls knew what they were talking about.

Stu goes to get the door and comes back telling everyone that Gale was here with Dewey. Not much later everyone ends up disappearing on Allison so she gets up to go to the kitchen. "Hey you, no kitchen!" Stu picks her up and walks her out of the room.

"I just want a glass of water. Damn, can I not drink that either?" She asks as he carries her all the way out back to the living room.

"I'll get it for you myself." He messes up her hair.

"Can you guys stop treating me like a baby for the love of god!" 

When most people started to leave the party, Sidney and Allison thought it was best to go as well but they couldn't find her, "Tatum, come on!" Sidney calls out.

"Do you know where she is?" Allison asks Stu.

"I haven't seen her." He tells her shaking his head and she could tell he didn't seem to care about her disappearing on them.

"I'll go look in the garage." Allison turns to leave, "Maybe she's getting more beer." Before she could walk away Billy decides to pop in and he ends up startling Sidney and Allison. Allison watches Billy give Stu a look so he pulls her into his side confusing her.

"Billy. Hmm. What are you doin here?" Stu plays dumb.

"I was hoping I could talk to Sid alone." He looks at her.

"You know. If Tatum sees you here, she'll draw blood." Sidney tells him.

"Why don't you go up to my parent's room? You know, you guys can take, whatever." Stu tells them.

"Subtlety, Stu. You should look it up." Billy tells him and Sid says they can talk. Billy comes in and hits Stu, "You haven't drank, right?" Billy asks Allison, stopping Sidney for a second.

"Only one glass of water." She smiles so he leaves. "Can you get me some more water please?" She leans back looking up at Stu.

"Anything for you sweetheart." He kisses the top of her head.

"What's leather face doin here?" Randy walks up to the two watching Billy.

"He came to make up. Now let's go get my baby girl some more water." Stu picks Allison up and walks them to the kitchen.

"You know I'm not surprised people think you date me at times instead of Tatum." She gives him a look.

"I mean, we did hook up before Tate..." He gets her some more cold water.

"I meant when you got with her." She takes the water from him.

"Well because we're cute together." He leans down causing her to lean back quickly. 

"What the hell are you doing?" She puts her hand on his chest moving him back.

"What? Don't you want this?" He chuckles.

"What?!" She laughs, "I-I mean, maybe i-i-if you weren't dating my friend." She moves away from him awkwardly laughing.

"Well, you're lucky because she broke up with me. After she got me a beer earlier and disappeared with some other guy." He lies starting to get upset in hopes she falls for it.

"She broke up with you?" Allison lets her guard down a bit.

"I don't know why. I get I'm a bit much at times but..." He sighs looking at the floor playing up his act.

"She didn't even tell me she was going to and she tells me everything." Allison couldn't believe it.

"Sorry for trying to kiss you. I'm just hurt." He looks at her with a sad look so she wraps her arms around his waist to comfort him.

"I'm sorry about Tatum, Stu." 

He hugs her back before lifting her head to look at him, "So can I just get one kiss?" He asks, making her give him a look knowing that's a terrible idea.

"Stu, I don't thi-," He cuts her off, leaning down to kiss her. He holds her tightly against him and he could feel her wanting to move away from him.

"Let's go watch the movie with the others. If we take too long, your nerd will come walking in." He walks them back and they sit with the small group to watch Halloween.

Randy ends up explaining the rules to survive a horror movie to the group since they didn't know. "I'm gonna go get a beer and no you still can't have one." Stu kisses Allison's head getting up. "I'm gettin another beer. You want one?" Stu asks Randy.

"Yeah, sure." He tells him.

"I'll be right back!" Stu yells backing out of the room.

"You push the law and you end up dead. See you in the kitchen with a knife." Randy tells him.

Not paying attention to the movie, Allison wonders about Tatum. There's no way she would break up with Stu for some other guy. It didn't make sense and she would have told her or Sidney about it. She always went to them.

After more time passes a few leave while a few stay to keep watching the movie. The phone ends up ringing and Randy tells the guys about their principal who was found dead at our football field. "Come on! Where you guys goin?" He falls back onto the couch as the last of the guys rush out to see.

"You need some water, Randy." Allison laughs leaving to get him a glass of water.

Since she wanted a beer so badly so she looked around before slowly walking over to the door to sneak herself a beer. As soon as she walks out of the door, it slams behind her, locking her out. "What the hell! Hello!" She bangs on the door but nothing. Groaning she turns to go out the garage door and sees Tatum dead stuck in the cat/dog door. Frozen for a few seconds, she just stares before screaming and running away.

As she was running in the grass, she hears Sidney scream and see her fall from the roof. "Sid!" Allison runs back to her and scares her as she sees Tatum. "We have to go. Come on!" Allison drags her so they can run off.

They both get to the news van and climb in to see the killer behind Randy on the TV. "Randy!" Allison cries watching him thinking the worst. The guy opens the door getting out and tells the two there's a 30-second delay. As he turns around again he gets his throat cut so both Sid and Allison close the door. "Go, Sid." Allison shoves her to crawl through the back first.

When it was her turn to crawl the door opens and the killer grabs her, "Allison!" Sidney yells reaching to help pull her through.

"Just go!" Allison screams getting pulled back and fighting with the guy getting stabbed in the shoulder and cut up a few times. "Fuck you!" She kicks at him and he groans. The killer grabs her head, hitting it against the floor as she tries to get away. He ends up knocking her out and she feels her body being picked up and carried away.

[threadandlace]

You Must Have Seen Her, Dancing in the Sand- Seamstress for the Band series, part fourteen (12.8k)

*** NOTE: Mentions of predatory behavior in the first two paragraphs and it is mentioned a few more times in this part. Nothing graphic, but please be aware ***

*** Mature themes- minors DNI ***

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

__________________________________________

“I was hoping maybe we would have a moment alone together,” Andy said as he moved forward, raising his hand above your head and trapping you in the closet with his body. 

“You know, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, I really need to get these shoes back to Sam. I told them I’d be right back so,” you said as you started to push past Andy. He placed a large hand on your shoulder and pushed you back into the closet. “Why are you in such a rush, hm?” he asked, his face getting uncomfortably close to yours. “Because, Andy, I have a job I need to do. And if you don’t get out of my way, I promise this won’t end well for you,” you replied, your sharpness surprising you. He pushed you back again, his hands likely leaving a mark as he squeezed you harder. “I just need three minutes,” he said as he leaned forward, his hands fumbling with your clothes. 

“Three minutes is about all you have to get the fuck out of my sight,” a voice barked from the corner. Andy jumped backwards, his hands leaving you immediately. You turned to see Danny standing with his arms crossed, Emily by his side, eyes wide as she talked into a walkie talkie. “You heard me. Go. Don’t be surprised if you don’t have a job after this gets back to your boss,” Danny said, his voice loud and threatening, a stark difference from his usually either soft-spoken or goofy demeanor. 

Andy turned and pointed a finger at Danny. “I have a contract, you can’t just dismiss me. I didn’t even do anything! We were just talking!” Andy spat. Danny looked past him to you. “Is that true?” he asked, his voice gentle. You shook your head. “You make my team uncomfortable, you get booted. I don’t care what the contract says. Try and fight me- I am sure the lawyers we have on retainer will have a field day with you,” Danny replied with a sneer. Two security guards boarded the bus and Emily pointed towards Andy. They moved to grab ahold of him, but he threw his arms up and walked towards the front of the bus. 

Emily was at your side in an instant, taking hold of you and pulling you into her chest. Danny explained the situation to the security guards who nodded before following Andy off the bus. You took a deep, shaky breath before pulling away from Emily. “Are you okay?” Danny asked, instinctively reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder but stopping. “I’m okay. I’m just glad you guys showed up,” you replied with a weak smile. “Okay, well lets head back inside, no use hanging out here,” Emily said, taking your hand and leading you behind her back into the venue. 

Emily dropped you back off in Josh’s dressing room, sitting you on the couch and promising you she’d be back as soon as she made some calls to replace Andy and get him fired from the company. 

Josh's voice brought you back to reality. “Oh, I’m going to kill him,” Josh barked as he shot up from his seat, face red after Danny had explained what had just happened. “Josh, he’s already been taken care of, it’s not going to help anything. Besides, what are you gonna do? Do a routine in your dance costume? Chill out,” Jake said. 

“It’s ice skating,” you said quietly and Jake bent down next to you. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” Jake said softly, reaching out to gently take Sam’s shoes from you. You hadn’t even noticed you’d had them, but the marks in the soft leather proved you’d been clutching them rather hard for the past few minutes. 

You looked up to see four sets of brown eyes staring at you intensely. Josh’s eyes were hardened with anger over the situation, Danny’s had softened into worry and Jake’s were deep with concern. Sam was a little harder to read.

 “I shouldn’t have asked about the shoes. Or I should have just grabbed them myself,” Sam said quietly as he came to sit down next to you. “Sam, there’s no way you could’ve known this would have happened. And wardrobe is my job, you have other things to focus on,” you replied. “I’m still sorry,” he whispered. 

You stood up, crossing your arms. “You guys are treating me like something horrible happened. It didn’t. Luckily Danny showed up at the perfect time. Besides, Andy is gone, we have nothing more to worry about. And we have a job to do. The first set of openers are on and only one of you is dressed so, please, go get ready so I can do my job and ensure everything is perfect before you have to go do yours,” you said, your voice more steady and confident than you felt. 

Sam was the first one to move, standing and nodding before heading out into the hall. “Okay, but we will be following up when the dust has settled,” Danny said, giving you a stern look before following after Sam. Jake stayed for a moment, deep in contemplation. He had sat on the coffee table facing you and his eyes traced over you, looking for something. Finally, he spoke. “If you want to move along, we will. But I want you to know that this isn’t just some little thing. And it’s okay to not be okay.” You nodded and reached forward to squeeze his shoulder before motioning to the door. He nodded and headed after his brothers, closing the door on the way out. 

That left you and Josh, alone in the room where you’d had so many electrifying feelings just minutes before. Your encounter with Alan had zapped any spark you had felt. You took a deep breath. Now is not the time to break down. 

The couch cushions dipped next to you as Josh filled the space that had been utterly empty after Sam had left. You could feel his hesitation as he wrestled his want to support you with his want to maintain your comfort. You decided to close the gap between you and answer his unspoken question of whether or not you could handle touch at the moment. The second your head rested against Josh, the tears started. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into him, the sequined portions of his jumpsuit acting as a painful contrast to the warmth of his embrace. 

You sat together for a moment, your breathing slowing as you calmed yourself back down. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how scary that must have been,” he whispered against your hair. You took in a deep breath- he was right, it was scary. You nodded against his chest and he pulled you closer to him. Somehow, just being connected physically to him seemed to help ease your anxiety. 

You sat back, taking in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m okay, I promise,” you said as you reached for a kleenex to clean your face. “Don’t be sorry. And, like Jake said, it’s okay to not be okay,” Josh said as he reached out to place a hand gently over yours. You nodded and finished wiping your face. “Yes, but I am okay. I will be. And we have a show to focus on,” you said, giving him a weak smile. 

You composed yourself just in time for Sam to burst back through the dressing room door. He was panicked and you stood, instantly absorbing some of his panic. “What Sam? What’s wrong?” you asked, looking him over to try to find the problem. “The button!” he said as he pointed to the button on his pants. Sure enough, the button above the fly had fallen off and was missing. 

“Okay, see, this is why we get ready a little early,” you said as you turned to look for your bookbag. You found it in the corner and pulled a tackle box out of the main pocket. “Alright, take them off,” you instructed as you opened your makeshift sewing kit. “I should’ve just made these elastic,” you hissed to yourself as you searched for the right sized button as Sam stripped the pants off. He handed them to you and you started your repair. 

Completely zeroed in and focused, you were able to attach the button within seconds. “Shit, you’re fast,” Sam noted as he took the pants back from you, carefully sliding them on and testing the button. “Alright, one fire out. Where are the other two?” you asked.

As if on cue, Danny and Jake walked in at almost the same moment. They both turned to show you the entire outfit, and you nodded to each of them. “Looks good. Do either of you have any issues?” you asked as you put away your makeshift sewing kit. They both shook their heads and you nodded. “Alright, you guys are good to go then,” you said, forcing a smile. 

They all watched you in silence as you packed your things back up into your bag. “Are you still watching? From seats? With Ava?” Sam asked. You turned to face him, aligning your backpack down by the side of the couch. “Yeah, I guess,” you answered. “Well, let me make you a drink then,” Sam added with a smile. He headed over to the corner of the room to inspect the selection in Josh’s dressing room. 

Sam made a disgruntled noise before turning and heading towards the door. “Josh, you have a shit selection. Don’t worry, I have better stuff on my rider,” Sam added as he headed out into the hall. Josh had sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. “Come sit. Sam will be a minute,” Josh said gently. Jake and Danny had wandered off into the hall and were chatting with some of the techs, likely talking shop. Emily popped her head in and pointed at you. “I’ll be back in a minute. Are you okay?” she asked and you nodded.

Josh gently laid a hand over yours. “You are okay?” he whispered and you nodded. “If people keep asking me if I’m okay though, I’m going to not be okay,” you said with a chuckle. Josh gave you a sympathetic laugh and you saw him nod out of the corner of your eye as you texted Ava. 

You: Still good to watch from seats?

Ava: Hell yeah! I’ll be down to get you in a minute!

“What’s the setlist for tonight? Did you guys finalize the ‘normal’ one you talked about?” you asked, turning to face Josh. He gave you a smug smile before shaking his head. “It’s a surprise. I think you could use a good surprise right now,” you said, his smile softening. “I suppose I could use one,” you added with a nod.

Sam came back into the room, dragging Ava behind him. “Look who I found! And, I brought you this,” Sam exclaimed, pushing a drink into your hand. He watched you and nodded, waiting for you to take a sip. You did and instantly made a face. “Fuck Sam, that’s strong!” you choked and he nodded proudly. “Good! That means you’ll have a great time. I made Ava one too,” he said, pointing to the matching drink she was holding. “Less strong though, because I apparently don’t hold liquor well,” she said before flipping Sam off. “Oh, and a shot! For good luck!” Sam added, grabbing a bottle of vodka and some shot glasses he’d dropped onto the table upon entering the room. He poured four shots and handed you one. 

You slammed the shot and made a face. “Fuck, I hate vodka,” you said through gritted teeth. Josh shook his head at the shot Sam tried to hand him. You took it from Sam and shot it back, chasing it with your strong drink. “Well, that was a choice,” Sam said with a laugh. “I’ve had quite the evening Sam, and you’re the one bringing me drinks,” you added and he shrugged. “Touche,” Sam retorted. 

Jake and Danny came back in and Jake poured his own shot before downing it. “Sam, Jason has a bass question,” Jake said after straightening, pointing towards the hall. Sam nodded and reached over to squeeze Ava’s shoulder. “Make sure she makes it back on the bus, huh?” he said, motioning to you before heading out into the hall. 

“Wanna try?” you asked Danny, offering him your drink. “Did Sam make that?” he asked and you nodded. “Then respectfully, hell no. I have a job to do still, but you should definitely enjoy that,” he added, giving you a smile. 

One of the techs poked his head into the room. “Two minutes guys, let’s go,” he barked. Josh turned to give your shoulders a squeeze before turning to Ava. “Make sure she makes it back in one piece please,” Josh said with a chuckle. “You guys are acting like she drank half the mini bar, relax and go put on a show for us,” Ava said, pushing them out into the hall. “See you afterwards,” Danny said with a smile before turning to head towards the stage. 

Ava pulled you the opposite direction, both of you scrambling to put on your credentials and find the seats you’d been given for the show. The seats were much closer than you thought you’d be, nearly a few feet away from Sam’s side of the stage. You and Ava took your seats and did some people watching before the lights turned down and the monologue started. “This may be the third rendition of the monologue and I have heard it tons of times, but it still gives me chills,” Ava whispered. You nodded as you listened to Josh ramble, his word choice always utterly poetic. 

The curtain dropped and you couldn’t help but smile as you saw your designs come to life by the people you’d grown to love as they did what they enjoyed the most. Everything fit perfectly, the red stark against the crisp white and grays of the set design, bringing life to each move they made. 

You sipped your drink as you listened, your eyes never leaving Josh. He had such a magnetic presence about him, a star quality unlike anything you’d ever seen. Josh moved effortlessly, his jumpsuit an extension of self as he moved across the stage. “These may be my favorite designs yet,” Ava yelled to you over the music. You nodded, tears filling your eyes as you watched the art and music meld into one. 

Sam took his jacket off, carefully handing it to a stagehand before finishing the drink he’d placed on his piano, chucking it off to the side of the stage. “Thank god he didn’t throw that jacket,” you said with a laugh. “He knows better,” Ava replied with a chuckle. You watched her for a moment and realized she had been watching Sam with the same look of awe you’d likely watched Josh with. I need to ask Sam about that. You turned back to see Sam walk towards your seats, blowing you and Ava a kiss before jumping back onto the stage. The people in the seats next to you screamed and you swore the woman to your left nearly fainted. You turned to Ava and both of you laughed as you sipped on your drinks. I fear these people have no idea who we are.

The show continued and you remained utterly starstruck. The presence they had on stage was unlike anything you’d seen, and seeing it live and so close altered how you thought of them as people and performers. You knew these were characters they played, but you saw small glimpses of who they were privately too. You saw the real Danny when he watched Sam, always laughing at his best friend. Sam turned back into his goofy self when he saw something in the crowd that caught his attention, his focus fleeting for only a moment. Jake and Josh were their normal selves when they connected on stage, their bond unmistakeable.

Ava nudged you as you finished your drink. “We should head back now, they’re almost done,” she said and you nodded. She stood, helping you up as you headed out of the aisle and up the stairs. Both of you laughed as you headed towards backstage, throwing your cups away before showing the security guard your credentials. He nodded and let you both through without an issue.

Emily was the first familiar face you saw once you got back to the dressing rooms. “There you are! I wanted to check in on you,” she said as she hurried over. “Oh, you had one of Sam’s drinks, didn’t you?” Emily asked, her face paling as she backed up. “God, the smell of alcohol makes me queasy,” Emily added as she found her way to a chair. “I got you guys pizza, once again. It was actually Jake who wanted it this time, to my surprise. It’ll be here at,” she checked her phone, “shit, now. Ava can you be a dear and go meet the delivery person out back?” Ava nodded and headed towards the back lot. 

Emily patted the seat next to her and you went to take a seat. She fished in her backpack and pulled out a piece of gum, shoving it into your hand. “Please, dear god, chew that,” she said with a grimace. You obliged. “I didn’t even drink that much, I think you’re just overly sensitive and pregnant,” you added and she shook her head. “If you had a Sam drink, it had at least three shots in it,” she said, giving you a knowing glance. You held both hands up, “okay, well I’m still sober enough to function.” 

Emily nodded and turned to face you, the gum apparently working. “Andy was fired, and they have a replacement headed out now. He should actually be here soon,” she checked her phone again, “luckily in time to head out. Dean said he will be driving your bus until Albert is back or the end of the tour, whichever comes first. No exceptions.” 

You took a deep breath and flopped back into the couch, tension you didn’t even realize you had leaving your body. “Thank god. How is Albert?” you asked. “Great actually. He’s out of surgery and they’re expecting a full recovery. They’re hoping to take him back home to Tennessee in the next few days. I talked to his wife and she wants to meet you. They’re hoping you’ll come and visit during our break time.”

The good news made you smile. “Of course. You’ll have to give me their info. When I’m more sober than this,” you added with a chuckle. “Oh, for sure. Listen, legally I don’t think there’s much we can do against Andy. But, he did get fired from the company and he’s blacklisted from transport for the foreseeable future,” Emily said, placing a hand on yours. “That’s fine. I really just wanted him fired so he couldn’t pull that shit again,” you said, giving her a tight smile. “Okay, well, if you need anything, you let me know. Okay?” she said, leaning forward to pull you into a hug.

Emily pulled away, gagging slightly. “God, you stink like vodka,” she choked and you scooted further from her. “Let me go figure out this food situation,” Emily said before heading towards where Ava was ushering in a few venue staff who were carrying pizza boxes. You stood too and decided to see what needed to be done to help.

“So, what’d you think?” The voice came from behind you and you jumped before spinning to see Sam standing behind you, a huge grin on his face. “Of what?” you asked, thrown off by his abruptness. “Well, the show of course,” Jake added as he came up behind Sam, unbuttoning his pants as he put an arm around his brother. “What are you doing all that for,” you said pointing to where his pants were now hanging open. Jake laughed and pushed past you as he headed for his dressing room.

 “The man always strips before it’s time. You should’ve seen him this one time we came off stage and we didn’t know there was a group of like, big wigs all waiting to congratulate us, and he just walks out and his dick is practically out and,” Sam rambled. Josh walked up next to Sam and held his hand up, silencing Sam. “Go shower please, Sam,” Josh said, giving him a sideways glance. Sam rolled his eyes but nodded and headed off towards his dressing room. 

“You good?” Josh asked before shaking his head. “Let me try that again. You feeling that drink?” he asked and you nodded with a laugh. “Yeah, I think it hit about halfway through whatever Sam was saying just now,” you said as you turned to walk with him. “I’ll get your thoughts on the performance on the bus. Please go eat something,” Josh said before pointing you towards the table scattered with various types of pizza. 

How you ended up on the bus, you have no idea. But here you sat, Josh to your right and a plate of pizza in your lap as the bus rolled onto the highway. You picked up the slice from your plate and took your bite, nodding as you chewed. “So, your thoughts,” Josh inquired as he turned to face you. “I’ll be honest with you, I don’t think I can form sentences that describe what I saw in enough detail,” you said as you chewed. Jake laughed from across the bus and you turned to look at him. “Sam is a hell of a bartender,” Jake added with a smile. 

You nodded, taking another bite of your pizza. “Is it just me or is there a thing going on?” you asked. Josh stiffened slightly beside you and you felt the air crackle with tension. “What do you mean,” Jake asked, clearly feigning nonchalance. Even when I’m drunk I can read these men like a book. We are spending way too much time together. “Ava and Sam, duh,” you said with a chuckle. 

Josh relaxed next to you. “Oh, yeah. I think they’re a thing and they’re just trying to go as long as they can thinking it’s a secret,” Jake said with a laugh. “I think she’s good for him, honestly. But they’re both kinda stupid,” Josh added. 

You sat back on the bench and laughed. “I’m so glad he’s moved right along,” you said as you reflected on that desperate drunken kiss he’d pressed against your lips a few weeks earlier. You felt Josh’s eyes snap onto you and you looked up to see Jake giving you a questioning glance. “Oh shit, did he not tell you guys?” you said with a laugh. “Oh, no, I’ve said too much. I’m just going to eat my pizza,” you said, suddenly aware of how loose your lips were.

“Please tell me you did not have sex with him,” Jake said, his voice filled with dread as he stared intently at Josh. “Uh, hello, I’m over here,” you said and his eyes snapped to focus on you. “Did you?” Jake asked, repeating his question. “Fuck no,” you replied with a laugh as you took another bite of your pizza. 

Jake took a deep breath. “Thank god,” he said quietly. “What are you freaking out about?” you asked and Jake shook his head. “He’s an idiot. And I wouldn’t want you to have to deal with him,” Jake added with a shrug. 

Josh had been uncharacteristically still as you had talked. You turned to him. “And what’s your deal, hmm?” Josh shrugged, “nothing.” His voice was flat, which worried you. “Jesus, you guys are stressing me out. He kissed me when he was super drunk and it was hilarious. For both of us. End of story,” you said, leaning back into the bench. “Oh, okay,” Josh said, shooting Jake a glance. “We will be having a discussion about that, for sure,” Josh added, shaking his head.

You could tell he had relaxed slightly, but you felt your mouth opening once again. “You’re not one to judge,” you said, pointing to Josh. He caught your glance and shook his head slightly, as if he was silently begging you not to expand upon your thought. The way he was staring you down seemed to instantly sober you up and you nodded. Just shut up.

______________________________________

You woke up in your bunk, the sounds of the road whooshing quietly underneath you. You found your way to the main portion of the bus and found Jake and Josh sitting at the middle table. “Hey,” Jake greeted with a smile. “What time is it?” you asked, your eyes adjusting to the dim light coming through the shades covering the windows. “Uh, 9:00?” Josh answered, turning to hand you a coffee cup. “It’s chai. I made it for me but I think you need it more,” Josh said with a chuckle. You nodded and took a seat at the end of the table. 

“How far are we?” you asked, handing Josh his cup back after taking a long sip. “Two hours out. We are in traffic though and have been for about an hour. So who knows, honestly,” Jake answered, turning to pick up a guitar from the bench behind him. You nodded and started on your wardrobe cleaning routine, something you’d neglected to do last night. The routine calmed you and you fell into a rhythm as you listened to Jake strum lazily. 

Josh had moved to the opposite side of the bus and was buried in his sketchbook. “Did I end up saving some of your stuff?” you asked and Josh looked up, his concentration broken. You thought back to the drawings of you, the words he’d written so carefully in the margins. It was nothing. Josh nodded and gave you a smile. “I don’t know how you did it, but you saved most of it,” he said, his grin widening. “The most prized possession, saved,” Jake dug lightheartedly and Josh flipped him off. “And if it was your precious guitar, what would you have done?” Josh shot back and Jake nodded. “You’re right, you’re right,” Jake said, lifting his hands in agreement. 

The procession stopped at a local bagel shop one of the roadies had recommended to pick up breakfast. You caught Jake giving Sam a warning glance that wiped the smile off of his face before the group filed into the small brick building located just off of the freeway. Sam made his way over to you, leaning to whisper in your ear. “What’s their deal?” he asked, giving you a nudge. Shit. “So I may have accidentally told them about that time you kissed me,” you whispered back, turning to keep an eye on Josh and Jake, who were at the counter ordering. 

“You what?” Sam wheezed, his voice raising slightly above a whisper. Ava, who had been standing next to Sam, turned to look at the two of you. Sam gave her a smile before turning back to you. “Well, it’s not like anything happened and you were drunk so it’s not like it meant anything,” you replied, turning to look back at the menu as the twins came your way. 

“So,” Jake said quietly, breaking the tension. “Look, I know you guys are probably mad at me about what she told you, but it was a total mistake and-” Sam started but was cut off by Josh raising his hand. He then did something you didn’t expect- he laughed. His laugh was infectious and soon Jake started to chuckle too. “We are just glad she didn’t quit on us, but you can’t just be kissing people all the time Samuel,” Josh chastised. Ava popped her head around Sam, her eyes wide. “What?” she asked, an air of panic in her voice. “Oh, uh, nothing. What are you going to get?” Sam asked as he turned to point at the menu, effectively ending the conversation. 

Once everyone had gotten their orders, you headed back to the buses. “Can I ride with you?” Danny asked as he jogged to catch up to you. “Of course,” you replied with a smile as you watched Josh head directly for your bus, seemingly an automatic choice. “I’ll join you again I think,” Jake said and you nodded, gesturing for him to board the bus. 

You were the last on the bus and took your usual seat. “No Sam?” you asked and Danny shrugged. “Ava had an interview thing she needed him to do. Something about the production he did on that one album. I can’t remember which one,” Danny added, shaking his head as he unwrapped his sandwich. “Interesting,” Jake replied before taking a bite of his sandwich. 

The ride was quiet while everyone ate, the exhaustion settling in. You were able to make the needed changes to the outfits for the next show by the time the buses pulled into the hotel parking lot. 

Everyone sat and waited for the inevitable hurricane that was Emily to board the bus, barking instructions and updates, but she didn’t show. “Let me text the force of nature,” Jake said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. As soon as he started to type, Emily appeared, her face white. “Shit Em, you good?” Danny asked as he stood, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“Fantastic,” she huffed as she took Danny’s spot on the bench. She shook her head before pulling her clipboard out from under her arm. She unclipped the room keys from the board and handed them out. “I gave Sam the set to your room,” Emily told Danny and he nodded. “Is he coming over for the briefing or-” Jake asked and Emily shook her head. “No, you can fill him in,” she said with a tight smile. You shot Josh a look- something was off. Sensing the tension, Jake prompted Emily to continue. “So, what’s the plan for today, boss lady?” 

Emily nodded, bouncing back to her usual self. “Well, you have the rest of today and tomorrow off. I know there’s a group wanting to go to the beach tomorrow. They wanted to go today, but the weather is obviously not the best,” Emily said before gesturing to the windows. It had started to rain, ugly dark storm clouds continuously rolling in. “Todd’s parents run one of the local restaurants so we are going to dinner there. But, other than that, I think the rest of the afternoon is free and open,” Emily finished with a sigh, flopping back into the bench and closing her eyes. You all exchanged glances- something was going on and you couldn’t tell if it was just pregnancy or something more serious. “God I would kill for a Crunchwrap supreme right now,” Emily blurted out, the group erupting in chuckles and agreement. 

Emily sat up, placing a hand on her belly absentmindedly. “Alright, so I will be going to Taco Bell. Who wants in?” she asked. Everyone nodded in agreement- cheap Mexican food sounded surprisingly good. Sam walked down the hallway, face flushed and eyes wide. “Ah, just in time for Taco Bell, why am I not surprised?” Jake said with a chuckle. Sam gave Emily a nod before taking a seat on the bench across from her. “I can go get it,” Sam offered, giving Emily a tense smile. “Yes, you can. Take Daniel too, I don’t trust you by yourself,” Emily added before scribbling something on a piece of paper. She handed the paper and pen to you. She had written her order on the top of the page and you followed suit. 

A few minutes later, Sam and Danny took off in search of any other orders and keys to a van. Josh and Jake had turned and were packing up their stuff when Emily turned to you. “You know Ava pretty well, right?” she whispered and you scooted closer before nodding. “I know her well enough. I figure you know her better though,” you said with a smile. Emily shook her head and leaned in. “I just caught her and Sam together. Did you know about this?” she said quietly and your eyes widened. You shook your head and chuckled. “No, but I guess it makes sense. Why?” you asked. Emily shook her head, clearly stressed. “Emily, what’s wrong? They’re consenting adults, who cares what they do?” you added with a chuckle. 

Emily shot you a look. “I have a feeling he’s going to fuck this up like he always does and then we will be losing a vital member of our team,” she said quietly. If only she knew about the conversation that had happened earlier. You shook your head, placing a hand over the one she had draped over her knee. “It’s fine. Ava is smart- she wouldn’t get into anything she couldn’t handle. And they’re not serious or anything, so it’s fine. I’m sure it’s just tight quarters and long hours taking their toll. I’ll keep an eye on her too, okay?” you added and Emily nodded. “Yes, well,” she stood, straightening her shirt before turning back to you. “I’m going to lay in bed and await my Crunchwrap delivery. I suggest you both,” she pointed to the twins, “rest and stay out of trouble. Please?” They both nodded and the three of you watched Emily head off of the bus.

Josh turned to give you a devilish grin. “Do you smoke?” he asked and you raised your brow. “Smoke what?” you asked. Josh dug in his bag and pulled out a transparent orange pill container that contained a few pre-rolled joints. Josh gave Jake a smirk, which Jake returned. You took a step forward, taking the container from him and inspecting it closer. “How’d you get this? It’s illegal in the south,” you said quietly. “We have our ways,” Jake replied with a chuckle. “It pays to be rich and famous,” Josh added as he slung his arm over your shoulder. He put the container into his pocket and pulled you along with him down the bus hallway. “Let’s go find a spot before the boys get back with our food,” Josh said with a chuckle.

If someone had told you that you’d be eating Taco Bell and smoking a joint with your employers in the future, you wouldn’t have believed them. Yet, here you were, taking a bite of your second taco as you watched Josh Kiszka take a long drag of the second joint of the afternoon. The way he exhaled the smoke through his nose made you weak in a way you didn’t know it could. You’d smoked a little here and there when Jen was able to smuggle some weed back home for you, but it was hard to access in the south and you didn’t have time to go looking. 

Jake took the next hit before handing the end of the blunt to you. “Finish us off,” Sam said from his spot reclined in a lounge chair. You took a deep drag and coughed slightly before passing it to Danny who refused, handing it to Sam instead. “Wouldn’t you like that,” you quipped and Sam let out a laugh before putting the joint to his lips. “Dirty,” Sam said as he exhaled, smoke curling its way around his sharp features. You rolled your eyes and relaxed back into your own chair. 

“Well, I’d rather fall asleep in a bed after that,” Danny said as he stood. He pulled Sam up from his sunken spot, patting him lightly on the cheek. “Yeah, you need some sleep after that,” Danny added, leading his friend towards the hotel. “Shit, a nap sounds fucking splendid,” Jake said as he stood too, gathering the trash from your picnic lunch. “Josh?” he asked as he turned to throw the trash into the nearby garbage can. “Mmmm, leave me here,” Josh said as he settled back into the cushions of an outdoor couch. “Fine. You good?” Jake asked and you nodded. “Yeah. I’ll keep an eye on him,” you added with a chuckle. Jake gave you a salute before heading back towards the hotel. 

You and Josh sat in the silence for a moment, enjoying the quiet. The clouds had stayed, but the sun was starting to peek through, warming your skin. “You look comfy,” you said and Josh grunted in agreement. “More comfortable than that thing,” he said, motioning to the wicker chair you were sitting in. He patted the space next to him. “Come on,” he invited. 

Crossing the deck and sitting down on the edge of the couch was something you didn’t even register doing until you felt Josh’s warm hand on your knee. “Here, come here,” he whispered, pulling you down onto the couch. You obliged, the warmth of his body comforting you and stilling your reeling brain. Both of you shifted until you were laying side by side, pressed against each other. Josh reached out and took your hand in his, bringing it to his chest. “Is my heart beating slow or fast?” he asked. You took a moment to feel his heart pounding against the back of hand. “I don’t know, I guess normal?” you answered with a chuckle. “Oh good, because it feels like it may just come out of my chest,” he said with a sigh. “Why’s that? Are you anxious? I wouldn’t take you to have an anxious high,” you said, turning slightly to face him more. 

Josh shook his head and chuckled. “No, it’s only because you’re here. Next to me,” he said quietly. “Oh, I can go,” you said, starting to rise before he pulled you back down next to him. “No,” was all he uttered before tucking his head into your shoulder. You laid still, not daring to move as you focused on your breathing. He’s just high, this doesn’t mean anything. 

_________________________________________

A gentle hand shaking the body next to you woke you up. It was starting to get dark now and you were sweating profusely. An arm was draped over your stomach and you turned to see that it was attached to Josh, who looked equally as confused as you. “It’s time to get ready for dinner,” Jake said gently. Jake watched as you and Josh pulled your bodies apart and straightened yourselves. He didn’t seem angry, but there was a strange feeling lingering in the air as Josh stood, turning to pull you up from the couch. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a nap that good. Whatever strain that was, it was magical,” Josh said as you trailed behind Jake towards the hotel. You nodded in agreement, although you weren’t sure how much of your relaxed state was due to the weed or being pressed against a warm body as you baked in the Florida sun. 

The elevator ride up to your floor was quiet. “Emily said we are leaving at 7:00, so we will see you in about twenty-five minutes,” Jake said to you as he and Josh headed down the hall. You nodded and inserted the key card into the door of your room. 

Twenty-five minutes was barely enough time to shower and change given your utterly relaxed state. The warm water of the shower stung as it hit your freshly sunburnt skin, the pain grounding you in reality once again. You dried yourself off and changed into a casual, loose outfit to protect your sensitive skin. There wasn’t enough time to do makeup or your hair, so you left it to air dry as you gathered your purse and headed out the door, only a minute late. 

You walked out into the hall and your phone rang. “Hey Em, I’m coming down right now,” you answered as you ensured your room was closed and locked before turning to head towards the elevator. “No! Go get Josh first please! Everyone else is loaded up and ready, we just need the two of you!” Emily said, her voice exasperated. You agreed and turned to walk back down the hall. 

Double-checking the list of rooms Emily had sent out, you approached room 342 and knocked. There was no answer, so you knocked again. A moment later, the door flung open, an irritated Josh standing in the doorway. His face softened when he saw it was you. “Oh, hey,” he said quietly, giving you a slight smile. “I was sent to collect you. It seems we are both running late,” you said as you reached out to take his hands from off the door frame. “Hold on, phone,” he said before darting back into the room and reappearing a second later, tucking his phone into his pocket. He reached out to take your hand, pulling you behind him down the hall.

Josh didn’t let go of your hand until the elevator doors opened on the ground floor. You followed behind him, still tethered to him somehow. Emily was standing outside of the van, arms crossed when you both approached. “Get your asses on the van,  we are going to be late,” she chastised as she swung open the door and pushed you both inside. 

It was dark and crowded- Emily had kept one last van for the stragglers, which ended up being more people than she’d thought. Josh sat in the last open seat and pulled you onto your lap, crossing his arms over your lap. You could barely breathe he was holding you so tight. “You ‘kay?” he whispered to you and you nodded, the street lamps barely illuminating your face.

 But you were not okay, not in the slightest. You were still high and overcome with a feeling of desire unlike anything you’d ever felt. The urge to turn around and run your hands through Josh’s grown out curls and pull his mouth onto yours was so strong that it worried you. 

Professional, professional professional you chanted to yourself, taking a breath after every third repetition. Josh must have felt your tension and eased up slightly on his hold. You continued to focus on your breathing, ignoring the conversations happening next to you. Josh stayed quiet too, likely in his own head from his high.

The restaurant was a smaller local establishment and you were greeted by the group when you made your way inside. Everyone was finding their seats but you joined Ava up at the bar. 

“Hey,” she greeted with a smile as she was handed the beer she must have ordered. “Where’d you go today?” she asked as she took a sip. “Can I get a shot of tequila?” you asked and the bartender nodded, pouring you out a shot and sliding it to you. You nodded and shot it back, tapping the glass back on the counter before turning to face Ava. Her eyes were wide. “You okay?” she asked and you nodded although you knew she could tell you were lying. “Let’s go sit,” she said quietly as she led you towards the table. 

You and Ava grabbed the last two seats at the end of the table and she watched you from over the menu. She leaned forward and asked you again about what you’d done today. “Would you believe me if I said I went and got high with them?” you answered as you leaned forward to dip a chip into the salsa that had been put on the table between you and Ava. She shook her head. “Yes, because I know Sam was high when I saw him today,” she said with a giggle. You cocked an eyebrow and she shrugged. That shrug was all you needed to confirm your suspicions- they were hooking up. You were unsure in what capacity, but you knew it was happening. 

You ordered a drink and started to relax more as the alcohol compounded with the effects of the weed left in your system. The small talk went ‘round and ‘round as everyone enjoyed each other’s company and the food. You stole glances down the table at Josh, who was sticking to water and likely working to sober himself up. Every so often, he’d catch your gaze and give you a small smile, his pink sunburnt cheeks flush even in the dim restaurant lighting. 

The food was good, as was the company, but you were ready to get back to the safety of your room. No complicated feelings, no noise, just the sterility and silence that was only reserved for hotels and hospitals. When you stood up from the table, you realized you had probably exceeded your limit and Ava was next to you instantly, taking your arm in hers and leading you out to one of the vans. She helped you crawl to the back and strap on your seatbelt as you waited for the rest of the group to join you.

“What is up with you?” Ava asked, her voice a whisper. “What’s up with you?” you echoed her question and she sighed. “Sam and I are hooking up, but that’s old news. Well, not old, but I think we are being more open about it. Your turn,” she said, giving you a nudge. You shrugged and she gave you a look that, even in the dark, told you she needed an answer. 

You both turned to watch the rest of the group file out of the restaurant. She turned to face you. “I was honest with you, so you be honest with me,” she started, lowering her voice as Dean climbed into the driver’s seat. “Are you and Josh together?” she asked. 

Suddenly you felt sick. “What do you mean?” you asked. Ava sighed and adjusted her seat before continuing. “I don’t know. I just feel like there’s something there,” she added. You shook your head “no, there can’t be.” She gave you a confused yet worried look, but dropped the conversation as the group started to climb into the van, Danny sliding into the seat in front of you and Ava. 

Danny turned to face you and Ava, a smile on his face. “Are you guys excited for the beach tomorrow?” he asked, his excitement palpable. “Yes! We were just talking about how excited we are!” Ava said, giving you a nudge. You nodded in agreement.

Danny nodded and looked at you closely before pointing to your nose. “We are going to need to get a tent for you and Josh. I think you both got a little burned today,” Danny said, giving your shoulder a light squeeze before turning around and starting a conversation with the tech that had sat down beside him. 

You ignored Ava’s stares and closed your eyes instead, the nausea increasing the second Josh climbed into the van. You were silent the entire drive back, your eyes closed tight to avoid dealing with reality. 

Once the van came to a stop, you felt two pairs of hands helping slide you out of your seat. Your eyes flew open and you saw Danny helping Ava move you into the aisle. “I’m fine,” you snapped, pulling your arms out of Danny’s grasp. “Okay, okay,” he said, rocking back in the seats as he raised his hands. “We thought you were asleep and wanted to help get you upstairs,” Danny added, watching you closely. You crawled off the bus and headed towards the entrance of the hotel, Ava catching up to you and taking your arm. You turned back to see Danny talking to Josh, something that made your stomach flip.

“I’m not fucked up,” you whispered to Ava who shrugged. “Well, you were high before you had three drinks, so I don’t think you’re sober,” Ava added with a chuckle. “I just don’t want to feel for one single moment,” you said quietly once you were both settled on the elevator. She turned to look at you, her face showing clear concern. “You better tell me what’s up,” she said before reaching forward to hit the button for your floor, “or I will go ask Josh.” That sobered you up quickly. “No!” you exclaimed, grabbing onto her hands. She rolled her eyes, “so tell me what’s got you fucked up.” 

You took a deep breath. “I kissed Josh. Like a long time ago, but I don’t think the feelings went away and I just can’t,” you said, the words running out of your mouth. “And I don’t think he feels the same but he also had all these drawings of me and my body and I don’t know what that means, but I do know that he’s my boss and I just-” you took a breath, “I don’t know.” 

Ava’s eyes were wide as she nodded, leading you out of the elevator and to your room. She fished your key out of your purse and let you both into your room before sitting you down on your bed. “Listen to me very carefully,” she said, leaning forward to meet you on your level. “There’s something there. That’s very clear. And I think it would be a waste not to explore that. Screw the dynamics- I’m fucking Sam on the regular and have yet to hear anything about it. I mean, shit, Em walked in on us and just left and hasn’t said a thing sense.” 

Ava shrugged before taking your head in her hands. “There’s something there. There is no way to deny that. Even I see it. So I think you need to stop being a wuss,” she said before dropping her hands to squeeze your shoulders. “And if not Josh, I know Danny is into you,” she added with a chuckle. “Oh god, don’t say that,” you groaned before flopping back onto the bed. 

You covered your face with your hands before groaning again. “I need to tell you something else,” you said and Ava took a deep breath. “Sam kissed me,” you whispered and Ava snorted. “Oh, I know. He told me. And I don’t care,” she said with a chuckle. You removed your hands from your face and looked at her. Sure enough, her face was relaxed, her eyes clear as she watched you. “Now, you need to go to sleep and wake up, get on a sexy suit, and make your move tomorrow,” Ava said, leaning down to pat the top of your head. You groaned but agreed and Ava headed out the door.

You groaned once more before sitting up, nearly falling off the bed when you saw Josh standing in front of you, probably as wide-eyed as you were. “Shit,” you whispered as you reached out to get your bearings. “Sorry, Ava let me in,” he said quietly, his eyes watching you closely, scanning your face to gauge your reaction. “Can we talk?” 

__________________________________________

You nodded and Josh walked further into your room, pacing slightly before leaning against the desk on the opposite side of your room. “Josh, what’s up?” you asked, faking nonchalance even though you felt like your heart was about to beat straight out of your chest. The alcohol still had you swimming in your head, and the nerves weren’t helping to sober you up. He looked at you, his eyes wide and clear, before he shook his head.

He was silent for a moment and you could see some sort of turmoil happening deep inside his beautiful head. “Josh,” you coaxed gently, unsure of what he would say next. He’s going to call me out for being inappropriate. Tell me I need to back off, be more professional. Tell me he doesn’t feel the same way I do. You watched him take a deep breath. Or tell me he’s firing me. This may not even have anything to do with the way I feel about him. Oh god, what if he actually doesn’t like my designs and they’re letting me go.

Josh caught your eye and you both held each other’s gaze for a moment. “You’re an over-thinker too, aren’t you?” he said with a knowing glance. “Where’d you go just now?” he asked quietly. “You first. You’re the one who came into my room to talk at-” you checked your phone “- nearly midnight. And you’re more sober. By a long shot.” 

He ran a hand up and lightly through his curls, the motion loosening them slightly. “I guess I’ll just say it. I’m into you. Really, truly, into you,” he said, his voice pitching higher than usual. You sat for a second, just staring at him. He continued. “And I feel like there’s something here. Between us. And if there isn’t, I understand and I apologize for being unprofessional. And Emily will have a field day over this,” he added with a deep breath. He hadn’t looked back up to meet your eyes and he was clearly stressed as he picked at the beads he wore loosely around his neck.

You were sober enough to understand what was happening, but too drunk to stop yourself as you stood and crossed the room in record speed. Your hands kept you grounded as you planted them on his chest before leaning in to press your lips to his. The action must have surprised him because he remained tense for a moment, hands still dropped to his sides. A moment later though, he returned your enthusiasm, his hands trailing up from the outside of your upper thighs and coming to rest on your hips. He pulled you closer to him as the kiss deepened, the intensity ratcheting up to a new level.  

Your hands found their way to his hair and you pulled the loose curls into your fingers. Josh moaned slightly as the feeling and dropped his hands down to cup your ass, pulling you closer to him. He pulled back after another minute, both of your sets of hands starting to wander around each other’s bodies as you yearned for more contact. 

“You’re drunk,” Josh started before pausing to swallow the noticeable lump in his throat, “we should stop.” You groaned and pressed your face into his chest. He rested his head on yours and you listened to his heart beat steadily. “Why does this keep happening, I just want to have sex with you damn it,” you groaned and his chest shook as he chuckled. “At least we know where we stand. And I want you fully coherent when the time comes,” he replied quietly as he rubbed a hand up and down your back. The act was a sweet, caring gesture- a stark contrast to the way his tongue had moved in your mouth just moments before. 

You pulled back to look at him. “Where do we stand then?” you asked, your words slightly slurred as the alcohol was joined by the absolute high that was kissing Josh Kiszka. “Well, hopefully together,” he replied with a chuckle. “Well, duh,” you added as you pulled him behind you as you climbed onto the bed. “I shouldn’t,” he said as he watched you move more onto the bed. “Just lay with me. I know we aren’t having sex, relax,” you said with a laugh as you flopped back into the pillows. 

Josh complied and kicked his shoes off before sliding up next to you in the bed. You turned to face him and intertwined your legs with his as you both laid on your sides facing each other. “What are we though? Really?” you asked and Josh sighed. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be. A hookup, a friend,” he looked up to meet your eyes, “a boyfriend. A lover.” You grimaced at his last offer and he gave you a questioning glance. “A lover? That sounds so overly poetic, like something some middle-aged divorcees would say,” you said with a chuckle and Josh nodded in agreement. 

You leaned forward to press your lips to his again, this kiss sweeter and more relaxed. Josh’s phone buzzed incessantly on the side table and he pulled away with a groan, rolling to reach for it. 

“Yeah,” he answered, clearly irritated at being interrupted. He rolled back over to face you as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a moment,” he said quietly before hanging up. He sighed and rested his head back down on the pillow, his eyes searching yours. You raised an eyebrow in question and he rolled his eyes. “Jake wants me to come put icy hot on his shoulder. Having a twin is having a constant cock-block I swear,” Josh added with a chuckle as he leaned in to kiss you. You lifted your hand up to the side of his face and deepened the kiss. “You know,” you said between kisses, “I’m more sober now. You can tell Jake to put his own icy hot on.” Josh chuckled and shook his head before giving you one final kiss and rolling off the bed. 

“You have no idea how hard it is to be saying no to you right now,” Josh said quietly as his eyes trailed over your body. “So don’t say no,” you shot back, narrowing your eyes slightly to challenge him. “Like I said,” he leaned forward and kissed your forehead, once again cooling the heat with a sweet gesture, “I promise I’ll make it up to you. When you’re sober and can feel every single thing I’m going to do to you.” 

His words sent bursts of electricity up your spine and your mouth opened slightly as you watched him throw you a smirk. “Goodnight sweet girl,” he said before grabbing his phone off the bed and heading out into the hall.

You laid completely still for a few minutes after he had left. Everything had changed, yet it really hadn’t. All that had happened was a conversation- a big one, but there was no sex, no solidifying act of passion. You were completely and utterly dissatisfied, but in the same breath, you felt light and full. I’ll be whatever you want me to be. 

It was 12:45 am and you knew Jen would be asleep, but you couldn’t help but shoot her a text.

You: So… I have a lot to catch you up on. Josh and I mayyyyy be a thing? Not sure. And remind me to stop drinking so this man will actually fuck me. Thanks, love youuuuu

And with that, you fell asleep, phone in hand and a smile on your face. 

___________________________________________________________

Your phone jolted you awake, the buzzing next to your head putting you into a momentary panic. “Hello,” you answered, still half-asleep and feeling the effects of a hangover. “Hey, I’m at your door. Can I come in?” You groaned and huffed as you rolled out of bed and made your way over to the door to swing it open before making your way back to the bed. 

“Well, good morning to you too,” Josh said. He handed you a to-go cup and sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. You took a sip and moaned as the chai settled into your stomach. Josh watched you, eyebrows raised. “Do you remember last night?” he asked as he took a sip from his own cup, likely filled with the same thing. 

“What about last night?” you asked, taking another sip and watching him over your cup. His face hardened and he did his anxious tell- he chewed ever so slightly on the middle portion of his lip. It was something you’d noticed he’d do right before he went on stage or before an important conversation. “What, like how you wouldn’t have sex with me? But you said you’d do anything I wanted?” you added, giving him a smirk. 

Josh sighed and rolled his eyes, clearly glad you were sober enough to remember the key points of the evening. “I said I’d ‘be’ anything you wanted,” he said as he lightly kicked at your leg with his foot. “Ahhhh, I think you may be right,” you said with a chuckle, watching his brown eyes sparkle as he laughed along with you, the tension gone. “Well, I came to tell you to get a swimsuit on and pack a bag- we are headed to the beach,” Josh said with a smile and you nodded before getting up and setting your cup on the side table. You went over to your suitcase and rummaged through your stuff, looking for your suit. 

Josh’s strong hands on your side made you jump slightly as he leaned in to press a kiss into your neck. “Wear something sexy,” he whispered and you chuckled. “We aren’t even dating and you’re telling me what to do,” you said with a laugh as you turned to put your arms over his shoulders. “Mmmmm, neither of us said anything for or against dating if I remember correctly,” he said before leaning in to kiss you. 

You both stood there for a moment before you heard a knock on your door. You pulled back, your eyes wide and Josh chuckled. “It’s probably Jake. And he knows,” he said as he turned and walked to the door. You grabbed your bikini and a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom to quickly change.

Even from behind the closed bathroom door, you could hear the twins’ conversation. “Is she almost ready? Ava said she wants to head out in about 5 minutes to stop at Walmart for beach stuff, drinks and snacks,” Jake said, his voice mellow. “Yeah, we’ll be there in a second,” Josh said and you heard the door close. 

There was a knock on the door and you opened it. Josh’s eyes widened as he took you in- you’d had enough time to change into your bikini but not much else. “So, five minutes?” you asked. Josh stood, completely zoned out for another few seconds before blinking twice and nodding. He walked past you and sat on the closed toilet and watched as you finished getting ready. 

“You’re something else, you know that, right?” Josh said as he ran a hand through his curls, loosening them slightly. You chuckled as you brushed your teeth and turned to face him, leaning against the bathroom counter. “Says the man who goes out on stage half-naked,” you said, shooting him a glance. He raised an eyebrow suggestively and you giggled. The sexual tension between the two of you was palpable, but you knew you didn’t have enough time to act on it.

Another knock on your door interrupted your thoughts and Josh quickly stood before pulling you in for a kiss. His hands rubbed up and down your back, clearly indicating he wanted to do so much more than just kiss you. “Guys, come the fuck on,” you heard Jake say from outside the door and you broke the kiss to giggle. “If we don’t get out there they’re gonna think we were doing something dirty,” Josh said with a chuckle and you pushed his chest lightly before turning and following him out of the bathroom. 

When Josh opened the door, you were met by the rest of the band, along with Ava and Olivia. They all stood there and watched as you both came out of your room and you turned to close the door. You and Josh both smiled as you were clearly inspected by the group. Jake gave Josh a smirk and nod before breaking the silence as he headed down the hall. “To the beach!” Jake exclaimed as he walked down the hall, holding a bottle of tequila above his head.

_________________________________________

It was a perfect day for the beach- slightly overcast, but warm with a slight breeze. The group set up camp with the cheap beach chairs and tent you’d gotten from Walmart. You and Josh were forbidden to leave the tent given your already sunburned status, and you were happy to comply as long as you got to be with Josh. He had tried to protest, saying he wanted to “ground himself in the sun,” but Emily had given him a look before plopping down nearby. “You will not be getting on that stage tomorrow any more red than you are today or it’ll be my neck,” she said before popping open the container of watermelon she’d purchased. She offered you a piece and you leaned forward to snag one before agreeing with her. “Your outfit is already red. Red with a slight tan looks good, but red with a sunburn is no good,” you added and Josh huffed before leaning back in his chair. 

Jake handed Josh a beer before picking up a frisbee they’d found in the dollar section. “Daniel?” Jake asked as he held up the frisbee. Danny nodded before following Jake out into a clear section of the beach. You could tell Olivia wanted to join by the way she perked up, but she had just laid out on her blanket with enough tanning oil to cook a couple chickens, so she settled down to watch instead. You turned and gave Josh a glance, which he returned with a knowing chuckle. Ava and Sam had gone on a walk to look for shells and you watched as they disappeared down the beach. 

It was a lovely afternoon of enjoying each other’s company and having some well-deserved time off to relax and recharge. You and Josh had sat together in comfortable silence, his hand reaching out and resting on top of yours occasionally when everyone was turned away and busy. You understood why he wanted to keep it quiet and knew it went without needing to be discussed. 

Emily interrupted the silence intermittently with questions and ponderings, mostly about her own twins that she was growing. “What if they come out and hate one another?” she had said while rubbing a hand over her small bump. “I don’t think that’s possible,” Josh mused quietly, his head resting back on his chair as he closed his eyes. He raised his head and looked out to where Jake and Sam were kicking a soccer ball with Ava and one of the techs that had come along. “There’s something about being connected from conception that makes you in-tune with one another. Platonic soul-mates,” Josh mused, a smile spreading across his face. 

Emily sighed and nodded before turning back to her phone. “What do you guys think of the name Ember?” she asked, you and Josh both groaning in response. Olivia turned to add her input. “I think it’s kinda cute,” she said, sitting up to reach for her water bottle. “Emily, Ember and-” Josh questioned and Emily scrunched her face as she thought. “Echo?” she asked and you and Josh grimaced, this time Olivia agreeing with you. “Sounds like something a Kardashian would use,” she said with a shake of her head. “Don’t you want to wait until you know what you’re having to decide on names?” Josh asked, taking another sip of the beer he’d been nursing for most of the afternoon. Emily made a face. “I guess you’re right,” she said with a sigh before setting her phone down on her lap. 

You stood up and stretched before reaching out to Josh. The sun was starting to set and you knew that meant you’d be allowed out from under the tent. “Come on,” you encouraged and he nodded before taking your hand and allowing you to lead him out to an open spot on the sand. You let go of him and twirled before stopping to sway and laughing before reaching out to him. “Come dance with me,” you said and he chuckled before nodding and taking you up on your offer. He swung you around effortlessly, both of you laughing as you talked each other through a few different dances you both knew. 

Josh pulled you close and wrapped his arms around your waist as the sun finally set, using the darkness to his advantage as pulled you in for a kiss. You swayed with him for a moment, enjoying the sounds of the ocean and the feeling of his heart beating against your chest. 

“Hey, guys, time to go” you heard Sam call from the tent and you both separated. It was dark, so you were sure nobody could really make the two of you out as you walked towards the tent, Josh holding your hand slightly behind him as he walked in front of you. Emily turned towards you with a flashlight before motioning towards your stuff. “Let’s get a move on,” she said, her voice tense. “What, are you scared of the dark Em?” Sam said as he walked up behind her to take her chair from her. “No, I am just ready for dinner,” she sniffed and the group laughed. 

Danny, Sam and Eddy, the tech, collapsed the tent under the watchful eye and direction of Emily. The walk back to the vans was quiet, everyone hungry and tired from the day on the water. Emily had made reservations for a local seafood restaurant and Sam was ecstatic. “Fresh seafood from the Atlantic? It can’t get better than that,” he enthused. “They better have chicken tenders because the thought of anything from the ocean,” Emily fake gagged and the van erupted in laughter. “You better sit far from me then Em, because I’m getting oysters,” Sam said, turning to give her a poke in the arm. You could barely make out her disgusted reaction in the streetlights, but it caused you to giggle again.

Sam stayed true to his word, and Emily took him up on the suggestion and sat at the other end of the table. You sat next to her, opting for fish tacos which you hoped were less offensive to her than the raw seafood being enjoyed at the other end of the table. “Nasty,” she said as she chewed on a fry and watched the others enjoy the various cold crustaceans. “Not going to disagree with you,” you said with a chuckle as you watched Josh turn to eat one of the oysters. You made a face before turning back to your own food.

“So,” Ava started from across from you. She pointed to you and Josh and you nodded in silent approval. Josh was busy arguing with Sam about something, so you gave her a big grin before putting a finger over your lips, signaling for her to keep it quiet. Emily missed the entire thing, finding her fries more interesting than you and Ava’s silent conversation. “Bathroom?” Ava asked and you nodded before getting up to follow her towards the back of the restaurant.

“So? Tell me everything!” Ava exclaimed the second you were out of earshot of the group. “Nothing much yet. We aren’t sure where we stand, but we are both really into each other. So, we will see,” you replied, your smile growing as you talked. “Thank god- I don’t know if I could’ve taken any more wistful glances Josh was throwing your way,” Ava said with a chuckle. “He was not,” you shot and she nodded. “Did you guys hook up yet?” Ava asked as you made your way into the bathroom. Ava waited for your answer as you checked your hair in the mirror. “Not yet. He didn’t want to because I wasn’t sober last night,” you whispered. Ava shot you a knowing glance. “Is that why you’re both more sober than the entire group?” she asked and you shrugged. She squealed in approval before pulling you back out into the restaurant. 

The rest of dinner was relatively peaceful, everyone settling into their exhaustion. Josh’s hand had found it’s way to your thigh, gently rubbing up and down as he talked with the group. Every so often, it’d get higher and higher, his hand finally squeezing your upper inner thigh. “So, shall we get the bill?” Josh asked and Jake turned to look for your waiter. 

Josh leaned over towards you, his curls tickling your ear. “Tonight?” he whispered before pulling back to look at you. You nodded and he moved his hand slightly higher on your thigh. “Perfect,” he replied quietly, the entire table somehow missing the electricity crackling between the two of you.

------------------------------------------------------

writer's note: just a gentle reminder that everything I write is completely and utterly fiction.

Who's excited for the slowest of slow burns to FINALLY ignite? Tell me honestly... did you see this one coming?

much love to my forever editor: @joshs-jonch

taglist: @eyelinerjake @radmads-gvf @gretavansara @everyglowinthetwilightknows

[sunshine-overload]

[BSTS] Main Story S4CH4 ‘The One Without’ - Part 1

pain, suffering even

Chapter 1

-starless office-

unei: Moving on to our next topic of discussion, who will be handling the January performance?

kei: It was originally planned to be Team B...

haseyama: What? You're still thinking of putting them on stage? B can't handle it so change it to some other team.

mizuki: The fuck? Who says we can't handle it?

haseyama: Who was it again that used a guy who was already half dead and turned the stage into a bloody mess? I'm all ears.

mizuki: Tch…

saki: (I hope Heath-san is doing ok...)

unei: But boss, Heath-san received a medical certificate stating that he was ill with bronchitis and that it would clear up in two weeks. He's slowly been returning to work too, I think he should be fine now!

mizuki: Exactly. Our new work can't be beat, there's no reason we shouldn't be able to perform it.

kokuyou: Oi, Mizuki.

rindou: ......

kei: Mizuki, this is not an issue in which you can decide everything yourself. Let's return to our respective teams for now, then in the next meeting we can—

-heath rushes into the room with zakuro-

heath: I'll do it.

saki: Heath-san?

haseyama: Hey what the hell do you think you're doing? This is a meeting between the team leaders, not you.

zakuro: My my, I deeply apologise for the trouble. I may be causing interference, but won't this make things easier to discuss?

kei: Zakuro, damn you...

zakuro: Well then, now that all the main actors are here, whatever shall you do, Mizuki?

mizuki: We're gonna do it, ain't that obvious? Heath said he wants to, so we will.

heath: Yeah.

mokuren: Wait. If you're getting on stage, then let us continue our New Year’s show instead, that's the better option.

mizuki: Huh? What, you got a problem with us, Mokuren?

haseyama: Regardless of the show's content, it is true the rest of the teams are in better condition. If you go ahead and collapse on stage again then who knows if someone will report us to the police.

zakuro: I see I see, the Boss' worries are not unfounded. ...Hm? Oh my what's a new C work doing over here.

mokuren: ...Zakuro.

heath: If you want a new work then we've got one of our own prepared too.

unei: Um, uhh...

kei: ...Haseyama, provoking them any further will just prove to be a waste of time. We'll make this show a versus between Team B and Team C, understood?

haseyama: Huh? So in the end Heath's still gonna be performing? Are you sure that'll work out?

kei: As a versus the total number of shows per team will be fewer compared to a solo performance. Therefore the risk will be lessened slightly.

haseyama: Hang on there, Kei-sama. Wasn't it during a versus that he collapsed last time? You can't guarantee anything.

kei: That's true. However no matter what we say these two aren't going to back down.

unei: Umm, so we're going to go ahead with the January show being a versus between B and C then?

mizuki: Sure. We'll kick their asses. Let's go, Heath.

heath: Ok.

-mizuki and heath leave-

zakuro: We shall also take our leave to make preparations, excuse us.

saki: (A versus between Team B and Team C... I hope everything goes well and without incident...)

mokuren: ...... (frown)

—end

-

Chapter 1 extra

-starless restaurant area-

akira: Next show was supposed to be B right? What happened to that?

takami: It appears it's been turned into a versus between B and C.

akira: Ooh ...Hm? Wait, versus? Why?

takami: I don't know the details either. It seems Team C proposed the idea of the versus.

akira: Huh? Mokuren did? What's his problem this time?

takami: As I said, I don't know either. Why not try asking Kokuyou about it? The owner and Kei have approved the versus already at least.

taiga: Yet another versus huh. This store sure does love them.

akira: Hmm~ I don't really get it, but it means Heath is getting up on the stage then?

taiga: Oh yeah, wonder what'll happen with that. He's been resting since he coughed up blood. It's been about half a year since then, right?

takami: You mean what happened in September last year?

taiga: It's been a decent amount of time, surely it means he's better now.

akira: I'm not so sure. That didn't really look like something you could just sleep off.

taiga: Well yeah... That's true.

takami: Whatever happens, we should all proceed with caution. So that even if something does go wrong, we'll be ready.

—end

-

Chapter 1 SideA

-rehearsal room-

heath: ...Phew.

mizuki: Hey, Heath. Are you ok?

heath: Yeah, I'm fine. Same as always.

mizuki: Alright. Listen, don't you dare go overdoing it. It's not like this is something worth throwing your life away over.

heath: ......

mizuki: Like sure I wanna kick Mokuren's ass, but if you collapse then there's no point. We haven't lost to C so far, so it doesn't really matter if we lose this one.

heath: It's fine, you don't need to worry. We won't lose.

mizuki: Duh, of course.

heath: Don't tell me you've gone soft, Mizuki.

mizuki: What? Of course not. We'll blow 'em away and take out the win like always.

heath: Yeah, good. I don't plan on holding you guys back either.

mizuki: Bring it on then.

heath: Sure.

—end

-

Chapter 1 SideA extra

-behind starless, evening-

kei: Heath.

heath: Piss off, I have no business with you.

kei: Just hear me out. I take it you have not forgotten what I said to you during your break.

heath: ...Who knows. I couldn't care less what you think. You said to make this performance a versus. That's it, the conversation ends there.

kei: I have not forgotten the incident that transpired during your versus with Team K.

heath: What, are you planning to put your winners privileges into effect now?

kei: That's not what I mean. Back then, you managed to hold out despite the dangerous situation you were in. I'm telling you to not needlessly waste your life.

heath: That wasn't me 'holding out'. It was just proof that wasn’t enough to kill me.

kei: ....... (frustrated)

heath: You're not my guardian or anything. My life... However much more of it I have left, I'll use it however I like. Don't you dare interfere with how I live it.

kei: ....….

kei: Right. Understood. I won't involve myself any further. I shall now address you as 'Kei from Starless' then. Your life is your own, use it however you please.

heath: I plan to.

—end

(tl note: In the B onsen trip story Kei said this to Heath: “It’s your life, use it however you please. However, if you make Saki sad that is the one thing I shall not forgive.”)

-

Chapter 1 SideB

-rehearsal room-

hari: So, in short our next performance has become a versus performance against Team B?

mokuren: Yep.

hari: We just performed for New Year’s and we’re already back on the stage...

qu: It's reckless isn't it. Do we even have any reason to oppose them?

mokuren: It doesn't matter if we have a reason or not. If there's an opportunity for us to stand on the stage then I'm taking it, that's all.

qu: It was dumb of me to ask.

kasumi: Ah, but the performance being a versus may be safer.

qu: Do you mean we can be more prepared if something happens?

kasumi: Yeah. In the worst case scenario, if it was just a B solo performance then if trouble occurred the show would need to be suspended. If that were to happen there'd be no way Team B or Heath would get off the hook without any punishment.

hari: True. Not only they themselves, but our management's ability would also be doubted in that case.

kasumi: Instead of B dealing with a full schedule, in a versus we take half of the performances. Even if it's just to make sure Heath's ok to return, I don't think it's a bad idea.

qu: Well, I guess that is one way to look at it.

hari: We're only able to participate in this versus because we have a new work too. Despite it just being after the New Year's show, you've prepared well huh, Zakuro.

zakuro: Indeed indeed. It's too late to do anything once something has already occurred after all. It's often said that you have no need to worry if you're prepared.

mokuren: You just foresaw that things would turn out this way from the start didn't you?

hari: Is that true, Zakuro?

zakuro: Of course not, that would be truly awe inspiring. As if someone like me who does not even know their past would be able to predict the future.

mokuren: Whatever. We've decided we'll do it so we just have to win. That's all that matters.

—end

-

Chapter 1 SideB extra

-starless office-

yakou: Next is a Team B versus performance huh?

yoshino: Ah, yes. So it seems.

yakou: Even though they just went up against Team K in September, they're already challenging C...

sotetsu: Now that you mention it, Team B are kinda known for getting themselves into versus'.

yoshino: Well that's because they really do participate in a lot. I feel like B has featured on all the recent versus flyers.

yakou: That's true...

sotetsu: I mean, we're talking about the team who picked a fight with Team P the moment they were formed. That's just the kind of guy Mizuki is.

yoshino: I don't think that statement only applies to Mizuki.

sotetsu: That so? ...Hm, I see. When you think about it, all of B are fighting against something huh. They have Haseyama's intervention to worry about too.

yoshino: Yeah.

sotetsu: But it's fine isn't it? When it comes to hip hop you just have to keep dissing your opponent right? I think an element like our versus performances are needed for their rap game.

yakou: So you're saying that them participating in lots of versus is a result of their team's concept?

sotetsu: Exactly.

yoshino: Even if it was part of the team's concept, I wouldn't want to have to go about things like that...

sotetsu: Don't worry, you're the type that does things unconsciously.

yakou: Dang...

yoshino: Sotetsu... What do you mean by that?

sotetsu: Ah, nothing. C'mon let's get back to work, Yakou.

-sotetsu leaves-

yakou: Oh, yes.

-yakou leaves-

yoshino: Sigh...

—end

-

Chapter 2

-break room-

mokuren: Kongou.

kongou: Oh, Mokuren. Did you need me for something?

mokuren: Is your MC doing ok?

kongou: You mean Heath? Well, I'm not so sure... His condition doesn't look much different from usual at least.

mokuren: ...You're seriously saying that? To me it looks as though he’s already up to the shoulders in a coffin.

kongou: To the shoulders... A coffin isn't a bath... But, yeah, I do get what you're trying to say. Perhaps since we see him everyday we've grown indifferent to it. We've seen him looking paler and struggling to catch his breath even more than how he is currently, so we don’t notice it as much.

mokuren: I see.

kongou: Also, to put it bluntly, stopping Heath in general is difficult. We tell him to rest but he sneaks out and if we tell him to stop writing he doesn't. I guess we as Team B have a stance to keep going until we can't anymore.

mokuren: Hmph, so you'll only stop when an incident occurs then?

kongou: Mm... You may be right. It's possible things may end up that way at this rate.

mokuren: Well, whatever. If that's what you lot want to happen then go ahead.

kongou: Sorry for all this. I tried to push for C to perform instead of us.

mokuren: Don't worry about it. All I plan to do is move forward according to my own beliefs. I suppose Heath is doing the same. Sorry for bothering you.

kongou: No worries. Let's both do our best in the show, see you.

-kongou leaves-

mokuren: ......

mokuren: The two of us will never understand one another, ever.

—end

-

Chapter 2 extra

-outside the front of starless, night-

maica: Good work today.

sinju: Ah, you too, Maica. Let's walk to the station together.

maica: Sure, let's go.

-time pass, street, night-

sinju: Hey, recently hasn't everyone been really on edge backstage?

maica: What do you mean on edge?

sinju: Hm... like, everyone seems nervous? That's just the vibe I get.

maica: Ooh. True, the atmosphere has been a bit tense.

sinju: Right, you think so too?

maica: It feels as though Kei and Takami are making arrangements for something. If I had to guess... It's probably because of Heath.

sinju: Ah... You're right. It wouldn't be good if his condition deteriorated again like last time.

maica: Yeah. When I heard him sing from the floor though he seemed the same as always. But, I don't know how to explain it, but it feels as though it's lacking some punch.

sinju: Really? I haven't picked up on anything like that. Sometimes I think that Heath is really amazing though. I'm not entirely familiar with the direction of his shows, but when he gets on stage he's like an entirely different person. I don't think I could ever sing like that.

maica: ...I don't think Heath is putting as much power into his performance as he'd like, though. There's an urgency to it... As if he's backed into a corner.

sinju: Backed into a corner?

maica: I don't really understand it myself either. But when I watch Heath that's the sense I get.

sinju: Hmm, maybe it's because he had to be admitted to the hospital... I suppose all we can do to help is work our shifts and be there to support both teams.

maica: Yeah, I think that's fine.

—end

-

Chapter 2 SideA

-rehearsal room-

ran: Hey, Mizuki. Are ya really gonna continue with this?

mizuki: Huh? Continue with what?

ran: This versus. Heath is clearly overdoin' it.

mizuki: .......

ran: It's fine if we step down now n' take the loss. There's no need for him to risk his life over this.

mizuki: ...Heath said he would do it. So, we won't stop until we've won.

ran: Sigh....

ran: Look, Mizuki. We're all friends here. I get that ya respect Heath. But placin’ ya faith in someone and losin’ control of the situation are completely different things.

mizuki: What? Don't say things that are hard to understand.

ran: It's hard to oppose someone that ya like, I know that. However there are things that people aren't able to see for themselves, and it's the job of the leader to point those things out. Have ya ever opposed Heath before?

mizuki: Shut up already, I know all that. I'm thinking about it in my own way, don't interfere.

ran: Are ya sure? Things are gonna get real bad at this rate. 

—end 

-

Chapter 2 SideA extra

-starless office-

kokuyou: Oi, Mizuki.

mizuki: What?

kokuyou: Are you still going to let him keep singing? He didn't get enough proper rest, just how long are you planning to let him just do whatever he wants?

mizuki: Shut up. Of course Heath is gonna keep singing. Don't butt into our business.

kokuyou: I won't say anything if it goes well. But listen, Mizuki. Consider pulling back if things get dangerous. Especially if it's putting your team's life in danger.

mizuki: Even though you wouldn't pull back you're telling me to?

kokuyou: Do I seem that way to you? I know when to retreat when it's necessary. If you always just go in punching without thinking about it, you'll come to regret it eventually.

mizuki: I'm not withdrawing. I ain't scared of regret or shit like that. Do you really think I'd do something as lame as running away in the middle of a fight?

kokuyou: Sure, whatever.

-mizuki leaves-

kokuyou: ...That damn brat, even if I hit him there'd be no convincing him. They’re not gonna stop until they fall apart.

—end

-

Chapter 2 SideB

-behind starless, evening-

zakuro: Good evening, thank you for humouring me whilst you're so busy.

kei: No need for the formalities. Tell me your piece.

zakuro: I'll get right to the point then. As you've probably already noticed, Heath's body may have reached its limit... He's been in a worrying state many times already, but don't you agree it's especially grave right now?

kei: That may be so.

zakuro: My my, what a cold response. Are you ok with things continuing as they are?

kei: This is something that he has decided for himself. There is nothing I can do to convince him otherwise.

zakuro: I see, I see. In that case— If I were to tell you that I have a way to heal him... What would you do?

kei: What do you mean?

zakuro: I shall return Heath's body which he values so dearly back to its original state.

kei: Oh?

zakuro: Of course, I will not do so without compensation however.

kei: Hm. What is it that you desire?

zakuro: I simply ask that you step back from both Starless and the little bird. A cheap price to save a life, is it not? Since after all, in the end he is your—

kei: I refuse. Heath told me that he would use his life as he wants. I have no intentions to accept your offer here and tarnish his resolve.

zakuro: Hm... Meaning this is your answer then?

kei: Indeed.

zakuro: I see, I see...! What a poor pitiful little lamb, disregarded by you once again. Not once but twice, without your expression so much as wavering.

kei: I'm not in the mood to respond to your provocation. Is that all you wanted to say? Then I shall be going.

-kei leaves-

zakuro: ...He was a lot calmer about it than I'd expected. If this is going to become a war of attrition then I am the one at a disadvantage. I must carefully consider my next move.

—end

-

Chapter 2 SideB extra

-starless hallway-

nekome: Oh? If it isn't Zakuro. Good day.

zakuro: Greetings, Nekome. I see you're with the little bird?

saki: We met by coincidence outside. 

nekome: I was on my way back from the shops~ I feel as though luck is on my side. And so, what are you doing here, Zakuro? Do you not have a performance today?

zakuro: Indeed, I just had some minor business to attend to.

nekome: Hm? By the way, you were the one that brought Heath along to turn things into a versus, weren't you?

zakuro: If you mean I brought him to the meeting, then yes. I figured it was best for him to be there and then the show turned into a team versus.

nekome: I see…

saki: I hope Heath is ok...

nekome: Ah, true. He looked pretty pale, it's worrying.

zakuro: He is someone with a naturally pale complexion however he has been looking quite ghostly as of late. Even I am beginning to worry.

saki: (I don't want him to overdo it... Heath-san...)

nekome: I hope nothing bad happens.

zakuro: Indeed, I hope the same. As I too would be partly to blame if anything were to occur. Although I did whatever I could, he was too tough of a nut to crack. To think I've even caused the little bird's expression to cloud over...

saki: Oh no, I'm ok.

nekome: Well, let's just pray that the shows end without incident. Try cheering them on with a smile, Saki-chan. Or, if you still can't stop worrying, we can go and check together that he isn't pushing himself too hard.

saki: Yes.

zakuro: ...To make arrangements like that right under my nose. This is exactly why one cannot let their guard down.

nekome: Ahaha, call it a privilege of being an understudy. I have a lot more free time compared to the rest of you~ Do your best in the show today~ I'll be cheering you on with Saki-chan here.

—end

To Part 2

[13skeletons]

oh boy. I woke up ready to rant about Siege of Dragonspear lol.

This is long and negative so if you like SoD, I am so sorry. I would genuinely love to know what you see in it because woof.

like. ok. I know we give ToB shit for being linear, but at least ToB gives you access to that statue in your base, very early on, that can summon companions for you to party with. I spent most of SoD with a less than full party because I wanted to run with the same people I'd had (minus Imoen. I have Thoughts on that too lol) and for some deranged reason Dorn is SUPER FAR in and locked in a cage? And then the reason for him being locked up is never even explained? (Unless I missed it somewhere, in my irritated rush to the end. Not impossible.)

Companion woes aside, ToB still gives you at least some choices. There are some branching paths, and the ending is not set. There are payoffs to earlier quests/moments that you can miss or not if you have the relevant items/flags. (Golden pantaloons, my beloved.) SoD didn't feel like it had any choices at all?

And the whole business with your gold getting "stored safely" and then getting gambled away and lost to you until the absolute very end of the game was so. Stupid. All that did was prevent me from buying very many of the new magic items at the shop in Baldur's Gate. And then the dude dies with a sword in his chest and Viconia is all "he is too far gone for me". GIRL YOU CAN RESURRECT THE DEAD WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. IT'S JUST A SWORD. THE BODY HAS TO BE MAIMED BEYOND RECOGNITION TO PREVENT RESSURECTION. MY GODS. So when you actually get the money back there's literally like 3 fights left in the whole game. What could you possibly need to buy at that point.

AND THEN. Imoen. What where they THINKING? They wanted to explain how she shows up dual-classed into mage in SoA. But that was literally never something that needed explaining. It is an EXTREMELY common tactic to dual class her at level 5 in BG1, and even if you didn't do that, dual-classing doesn't temporarily render you completely useless? Hello???? And they could've at least transferred her gear to Safana (or to me) when they tossed her into my party. But no, I just had a less-geared thief instead. Ugh.

And that doesn't even touch on the complete and total lack of balance to the combat encounters! Having trolls (and giant trolls. good lord) and dragons (not to mention a dragon with wyvern adds....) and mind flayers this early is BATSHIT INSANE. The enormous hordes of mooks that you wipe out with two fireballs render your melee fighters into wall-flowers. And then there's the enormous hordes of mooks that you can't throw fireballs at without hitting allied NPCs... (apparently Khalid died while breaking the siege and I didn't even realize because I was already so fed up at that point lmaooo). Whatever that tentacle boss was...

Also the total inability to manage your reputation carefully because you're on a railroad with set reputation gains and losses that you can do nothing about was really irritating to me personally because I prefer playing with mixed alignment groups. (Yes my evil friends did abandon me after the siege, forcing me to reload and figure out a way to lower my rep.) (And then later I encountered some random refugees and didn't even try to save them, I just killed the wolf that was near them, not realizing it was gonna give me reputation, and I had to reload AGAIN. But this time I was a lazy bastard and just fireballed everything, dropping my rep to like 6 and I never had to worry about it again lmao.) (Also while googling to try and find a way to deal with this issue, I read that it potentially causes problems for importing into BG2, which if that's true, I am gonna laugh somewhat hysterically.)

As for the "Hooded Man" (shut up she's so pretentious it's fucking Irenicus). I'm sorry but it literally makes no sense for him to be there. It makes no sense for him to be able to get into your dreams before he's ever even experimented on you.

Just. The whole thing ultimately felt totally unnecessary and I may well uninstall it to prevent the game from auto-loading me into it when next I complete BG1.

EDIT: I completely forgot about this because it's a comparatively minor complaint, but during the actual siege on the castle, there were so many mobs and NPCs that the game's audio essentially stopped working. There were so many characters trying do their "i took damage" noises that they'd play the first millisecond of one then the first millisecond of the next etc until the fight was over. Just a broken record of "arg-arg-arg-arg." lol. More evidence that no one reasonable balanced those encounters.

[spinningbuster98]

Mega Man X5 Ending (Zero)

So Zero’s fight against X is actually a bit harder than when you’re playing as X vs Zero

Here you can even find a secret Dr.Light capsule. With X (assuming you’re armorless X otherwise you won’t find anything) you’ll get the Ultimate Armor. With Zero you get Black Zero, which doubles Attack and Defense.

I decided not to get it. Why? Because it’s a permanently missable power up that you won’t know exists on your first playthrough, meaning you’ll have to do the final level as regular Zero.

And oh the final level

The boss rush can be better as Zero, due to his higher damage output

Sigma though can go suck the world’s nastiest robot dick

The first phase is awkward enough to hit but the second?

The fucking second phase!?

All the issues I mentioned earlier as X are 10 times worse here! He does a RIDICULOUS amount of damage because of Zero’s lack of defensive uogrades, not to mention the fact that you can’t possibly maximize his health due to some heart tanks being exclusive to X.

That FUCKING PINK BLOCK ATTACK!! LOOK AT HOW MUCH DAMAGE IT DOES!! LOOK AT IT!! IT EATS LITERALLY ABOUT 90% OF MY HEALTH! IT’S ALMOST AN INSTA-KILL!! AND HE SPAMS IT LIKE THE PRICK HE IS!!!

Wanna know what one of my greatest memories of X5 is? Just trying to beat this asshole as Zero and getting killed over and over and over and over and over and...

Sigma was not properly balanced with Zero in mind, I’m sure of it. No other boss in the series is like this, it feels borderline broken. I genuinely think that, when playing as Zero, this is one of the, if not THE worst final boss in Mega Man (well maybe X7 Sigma takes that spot due to being X7 and all that entails).

In the end I only beat him because he just randomly decided not to spam that fucking block attack for once. So I just got lucky.

Everyone I see always uses Black Zero for this fight, which certainly makes it far more manageable, but I repeat: that’s supposed to be a misseable secret you’re not gonna know of unless you look up a guide, it’s asinine to expect me to use what is basically a sort of cheat code just to avoid having a miserable time against the final boss when the other playable character doesn’t have this problem.

Ok this concludes X5. I COULD show off the bad ending but that would require replaying the whole thing just to show 3-4 different cutscenes and I simply don’t think it’s worth it.

Well I guess there’s only one path to follow now...

Only one other game that I can play after this one

It’s time folks

To play a very....important Mega Man game from 2001

A game that I really was not looking forward

But I have to play it, because there’s no turning back now

It’s time to play Mega Man Battle Network

Why yes, it’s a VERY important game, I don’t think anyone could dispute that, just look at the sheer popularity that BN still has to this day!

Now it’s true that I’ve never beaten the game before

In fact I’m not really into BN in general

I wasn’t even counting into putting it into my retrospective!

It’s also true that I will probably not enjoy myself, especially since BN1 is kinda infamous for being very rough around its edges

But who knows? I may change my mind! And afterwards I will finally be able to get to the Zero series, which is one I have much attachement towards, and then afterwards I’ll handle ZX!

Hell now that I think about it I may just start doing the Legends games! The series pretty much died after 2000! At this point I’m just glad to have finally reached the end of the X se-

OK I’LL PLAY MEGA MAN X6!!!!!! YOU HAPPY!!!??? YOU FUCKING HAPPY!!!!?????

[sonic7ischaos]

So I've been playing Frontiers for a few days, still love it, still on par with Heroes for me, which is about 5th on my list of favorites, but I am starting to think about it critically and I'm noticing some improvements that are needed. Spoilers Ahead for those who haven't played the game, like right away do not read this if you haven't played it.

I'm not gonna talk about story stuff or the parts that are clearly rushed (namely the end, both of the game and the final boss itself), nothing about presentation, I have minor notes but it's a MUCH smaller list than usual, just the gameplay this time.

So as always, first thing is the implementation of inertia/momentum/rolling/slope/pinball physics. It's not that it's not good without them, it still is, but it's in spite of their absence, not because of them. The creative movement options are so handicapped by their absence and I know this because a facsimile of them DOES exist in Frontiers, mainly in terms of rail launching, and homing attack dashing, and let me tell you, once you start using them, you get a taste for how insane moving around in Frontiers could've been. There are some conditions where you can use the terrain like you might in an Adventure game and by GOD does it feel right when you manage it, but it's not true slope physics, it's not applied universally to the character controller in all circumstances, you need the right kind of slope, the right kind of terrain, or to find a good rail, they aren't all made equal on this front.

On a related note, tied into the lacking slope physics is the lack of inherited inertia, especially while jumping or stopping. You stop on a dime regardless of your existing speed. The latter is just kind of a weird quirk of movement that makes it feel less natural, but maybe it has utility regarding turning? Dunno, both are game feel things but the stopping bit is less of a utility flaw than merely about game feel. The lacking inertia transfer on jumping though? If you ask me, this is the game's biggest flaw. Bigger than Cyberspace physics (which, really Sonic Team? I'm proud as hell of you for Frontiers, but you could've had Sonic's Cyberspace physics set to the default overworld physics or only transfer turning speed if you were worried about breaking level design, it's inconsistent and feels worse), inertia not being inherited while jumping means your speed lacks utility. There are reasons to go fast here but it's mostly to get from point A to point B quicker or to deal with combat in different ways like cylooping large groups, climbing bosses, or running away from them altogether, rather than being a broadly applicable, exploitable traversal tool, fun to use far outside the extrinsic rewards of combat, exploration, puzzle solving, and platforming. It's the difference between running around empty hub worlds in SA1 because there's so many ways to use your movement and the terrain to your advantage and getting all the stuff on the map and just being...done with most of what the game has to offer. A robust inertia based terrain physics system, where inertia is transferred between action states like running, rolling, and jumping, would amplify the intrinsic reward element of the gameplay, its movement systems, on an exponential level. This isn't just a matter of "Sonic = momentum. No momentum = no Sonic", it's more fundamental than that. It's about understanding that inertia is a factor of speed, and it's the factor of speed that's most relevantly exploitable, especially in a giant exploration focused open world.

Which isn't to tear down what's there. There IS intrinsic reward in controlling Sonic in Frontiers, Sonic feels GOOD to control in Frontiers, REALLY GOOD, but I speedrun Sonic games sometimes, I can tell when there are glaring errors in hindsight that, unless you already know how and why the runner is doing what they're doing, won't necessarily pick up on. Same thing here. YES, this is a FANTASTIC step forward. I literally teared up when it was over, both because of the story stuff, and, moreso because despite all this, they FUCKING DID IT. SONIC. IS. BACK. But ignoring anyone's ideas for what Sonic should be, and taking Frontiers at face value, I couldn't help but be frustrated when I'd build all this speed, jump, and lose it instantly, or I'd see some crazy ramp jumping opportunity, run at it and either be stopped dead or stick to the ground so I didn't launch from anything. Maybe that was necessary for being able to flow from one point on the map to another more smoothly, but it was still frustrating. Not distractingly so, it didn't impede my enjoyment of the game so much as make me realize that as good as this is, it doesn't even scratch the surface of the potential here.

There's loads of other critiques here, most have already been listed. I don't hate the final boss, just wish it was phase 1 of 2 for a big Super Sonic fight like the rest, getting 100% on Chaos Island is kind of a slog. Without transferring inertia to jumps, the drop dash loses most of its utility. I've adjusted to the floating rails and platforms, but still think proper level geometry instead of copy-paste game objects (mostly automated ones like rails too) would've been the way to go, but I get it, the ending shows development was probably pretty constrained, so reusing simple, repeatable assets was probably necessary to the degree it was for the game to feel substantial enough. I know people hated the pinball thing, but I still think it's fun and hilarious, they legitimately canonized the ancient civilizations as being really into pinball and probably carnivals (like Carnival Night Zone, Eggman didn't build that shit, the Echidnas really were just putting a carnival on their religious grounds). Actually, automation didn't turn out to be nearly the problem I thought it would going in, turns out, you can just run around and jump over most of it when Sonic doesn't control like a fucking tank and you have full 3D camera control (FINALLY!).

So there it is. I still have more digging into the mechanics to do, see if I don't notice any greater depth or some more nuances, but that's where my thoughts are. Give Sonic some proper inertia/terrain physics, the ability to launch himself using those physics, and connect actions like jumping and rolling to those things, and you'll be like 90% of the way there.

Oh, and ADD. A BOSS RUSH. JESUS CHRIST WHAT AN OVERSIGHT!

[ultraericthered]

Anime Update V2 37

And so another year of anime watching comes to a wrap-up.

Wolf’s Rain - It seems inevitable that we’d eventually end up at an “everyone comes together” episode like this one. The four wolf boys and Blue AND the group of Quent, Hubb, and Cher, all end up inside Darcia’s keep to liberate Cheza from Darcia. After some helpful exposition, we get our anticipated face-off between Kiba and Darcia, with Darcia showing off his wolf eye and how brutal he can be, even fucking throwing Cheza across the room when she tries to go back to Kiba. Quent tries to shoot the wolves but to his horror he’s blocked by Blue, whose eyes tell him everything he does not want to know. And then all of a sudden, dozens of Lady Jagura’s airships bombard the shit out of the keep, Darcia perishes with Harmona in his arms in a flash of light, Cher, Hubb, Blue and Cheza are captured by the troops, and Kiba fails his leap, only getting separated from the pack.

Hunter x Hunter - The Yorknew City/Phantom Troupe arc came to its conclusion with an exchange of hostages, Kurapika finally striking true at the heart of the lead spider Chrollo (but not killing him, just making him unable to use Nen without dying), Hisoka gets his own comeuppance when he finds the fight with Chrollo he craved so badly would now be no longer worth it, the Spiders get the message (from poor Pakunoda literally giving up her life to make sure they get it) and retreat from their criminal operations, Chrollo is left stranded far away, and now Gon and Killua can finally get to Greed Island!

Fruits Basket - Rewatched the New Years episode due to timing. 

Rozen Maiden - And thus do I end Rozen Maiden with the final episode of this final anime. I’m gonna be real: if you stopped this episode at its halfway mark and then just finished with that 7 dolls storybook’s ending, it would feel like a perfectly satisfying and conclusive end to the story. Not every thread is tied up, but adult Jun’s story reached the outcome it needed to. But unfortunately the episode tries to set up a potential second season or a movie that will resolve the cliffhanger it leaves on, which ended up not happening  ‘cause the anime tanked and killed any interest in the franchise that was left. And again, it all goes back to that godawful premiere. The first episode is to blame for why viewers wouldn’t get invested in this show, they were turned off and didn’t know what they missed out on. It sucks that Rozen Maiden had to fizzle out like this, but all three anime series’ plus the two part OVA were certainly worth my time.

Fate Zero - Tokiomi defeats and seemingly killed Kariya by burning him and sending him falling off the building, but Kirei finds him where he landed and decides to heal him, clearly giving into some of the dark urges Gilgamesh told him about. When the Chthulhu demon is transported to the right position, Saber unleashes her fullest power Noble Phantasm, using Excalibur to finally kill Caster along with his beast. Afterwards we see Rider and Gilgamesh discuss whether Saber's life as king was epic or tragic before they take their leave.

Senki Zesshou Symphogear - The apocalyptic epicness, heart-pounding peril, and emotional sincerity even in the face of absurdity continued riding high in this first series finale. It came together so well with so many great set pieces, solid payoffs, downright gorgeous animation, a rockin’ soundtrack, and an appropriately intense final boss fight against Finé and her great red serpent, and then one last challenge that really called to mind the finale of Amphibia. If I had any criticism to level, it’d be that some aspects of the last act got notably rushed. I liked the ideas behind what they gave us with Finé's exit (her actually dying in Ryoko Sakurai’s persona rather than her own evil goddess one) and the very end of the episode (Hibiki and Miku finally watch the shooting stars!), but the pacing felt off - Finé goes from totally bonkers to totally at peace after a few lines from Hibiki, and the very end felt like something they probably wouldn't have done if they knew for sure there was going to be more seasons; the three Sympho Girls return and Hibiki and Miku’s reunion could've easily carried its own premiere episode. So if that’s down the drain, how will the next series start? Well, I’m going to find that out in 2023!

AMC: Moriarty the Patriot - It was the “A Study In Scarlet” two parter, a very loose adaptation of the first ever Sherlock Holmes story where Holmes meets Watson and the two become mystery solving partners. Because of this, it’s presented as very much a Holmes and Watson story, with the Brothers Moriarty barely factoring into it aside from masterminding the crime. The underrated Theo Devaney excels at voicing Holmes, and joining him are Ryan Colt Levy as Watson, David Matranga as George Lestrade, Ian Sinclair as Tobias Gregson, and Suzie Yeung as a distractingly Beato-esque Miss Hudson.

Tokyo Godfathers - Five years since I first saw this anime Christmas classic from Satoshi Kon, I got to see the 2019 English dub version! And they did a stellar job, casting unknowns as the three leads who were all natural fits for the parts they were playing. My memory of the movie itself was sort of hazy, but I remember it being good and wow, was it just as good as I recalled. Such an unconventional set-up for a holiday flick and with some dark and troublesome subject matter, but by the end you just can’t help smiling and feeling like the magical spirit of the holidays has overtaken you, just as it did those three bums and all the people they’d met with.

AND

New Years Special: Dragon Ball Z, New Year’s Evil - This...is going to warrant its own post. Because oh my God, was this bad!

[siobhanroygirl]

finished ugly betty tonight i am completely normal and not in need of psychological help rn

thoughts under the cut

i am obviously so sad that everything was so rushed— the final episode felt like it could’ve been 10 episodes by betty standards AND I SOOOO wish it was. the betty and daniel slow romantic development would’ve been absolutely amazing to watch and its such a shame we never will get to see it, plus i think willie going back to connor was stupid and also no closure on tyler and clare BUUUUT that being said. despite it being horrifyingly rushed i literally think its the perfect ending

amanda reconciliation with her adoptive parents, finding her real dad, becoming a stylist and going single and ditching emotionally unavailable men (sidenote if we get a revival she should kiss more women)

marc getting an important promotion, dealing with the trauma of being rejected and abandoned by his mother for his sexuality, healing his inner child through justin and finding love-ish and recognizing his flaws

willie getting mode AS SHE FUCKING DESERVES!!!!! redemption arc, and she has marc by her side and everything is right❣️ wish we couldve seen a reconciliation with nico and renee though

hilda married and moving away from home finally! coming completely full circle from season 1 and losing santos. also wish we could see her working again maybe (i dont think we even know what bobby does for a living 😭)

justin having his times respected and understood, finding support in his family and marc. i love him so bad

ignacio happy and finally seeing his girls grown up and leaving home ❣️ i loved loved loved how he compared his journey as an immigrant and betty’s. this man is on the top 3 fictional fathers ever im sooo serious

daniel !!!!!! leaving mode !!!!! forgiving his mother, leaving behind stupid flings and trying to build his life on something HE worked on, changing completely from season 1, following betty, his heart. betty who saw everything that was wrong with him and still decided to stay and see the good 😭😭😭😭 then daniel calling her the sun, admiring her while also admitting he’s intimidated by her, protecting her, complimenting her, being a complete ass and realizing it AND CHANGING IT for her. realizing the way to love her is to let her go but not being able to look at her while doing it bc he cant if he does 😭😭😭😭 and then moving across the world to see her, going from boss to assistant with her who has changed him fundamentally and shown him what true love is i could actually die sorry the heterosexuals got me so bad with these two

betty following her dreams!!!!!!!!!!! betty working on something she’s truly passionate about!!!!!!! choosing what SHE WANTS INSTEAD OF TAKING CARE OF PEOPLE LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES!!!! putting herself first!!!!!! being her own boss, standing up for herself, no more prioritizing others. leaving henry symbolizing that the old betty is gone, she loves who she was and she needed her to become this betty, but she’s different now. finding daniel when she’s changed but still the same in a way, still a spot in her heart for him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 she will always have him back and she missed him 😭😭😭😭 she needs a new assistant 😭😭😭 IM GONNA KILL MYSELF

daniel and betty together in london as completely different people and in completely opposite positions from season 1 but still gravitating towards each other, reaching and finding each other in the midst of all this change because they know each other more than they know themselves like im sorry they are soulmates oh my god [dies a thousand deaths]

anyway i love this show so damn much jesus. with like 7 more episodes this ending could’ve developed so beautifully but im fr happy with how things turned out? ofc somethings i’d change like daniel burning the resignation form and calling her an “investment” (kind of makes sense in the context of the episode/arc because it was all about regressing to oldselves before changing but damn we didnt even get a proper apology from him, again probably for time reasons), but yeah in terms of where the characters should be @ this was honestly ideal to me.

i love this silly little problematic ass show and i never wanted it to end. betty is so dear to me and i will always carry her around inside of me my entire life, her bond with daniel is so special, wilhelmina is my queen and i live to serve her, marc and amanda are like my entire inner monologue at this point. ugly betty in general is so special to me and i never thought i would become so horribly attached to it. it was problematic as hell a lot of the times and handled others with so much love and care. it has so much heart. so, so much heart. i’ll love this show forever

[closetedbumblebee]

White Wedding (Addison Montgomery x Female Reader)

Weddings are supposed to be full of love, happiness and gratitude. A wonderful celebration of two souls coming together as one. Today was one of those days. Callie and Arizona were finally and officially tying the knot.

It was supposed to be a happy celebration all round; all the happy couples loved up, attending the wedding together. Meredith and Derek, Christina and Teddy, Owen and Amelia, Richard and Catherine, among others showed their support for the sweetest couple who were currently reciting their vows.

You sat alone in the third row from the front, extremely proud of your friends. You were smiling from ear to ear as they each walked down the aisle. You knew their story like the back of your hand, and couldn’t contain the happiness you felt when Callie and Arizona finally came through for the other, especially after the accident. They had come so far.

You felt a pang of sadness, taking a look around the room at all the couples. You wished your girlfriend, Addison was here with you, but she had to fly back to LA after Sofia’s delivery. You barely spent enough time together as it is, both of you living in separate cities, leading separate lives. You did, however have a relatively strong and healthy relationship, taking the time to have long phone calls, FaceTime, and send as many text messages as you could. You tried to sneak weekends away  to LA, also. 

But, things felt strained for the last few months, and you both felt the need to remedy that. 

The last time you and Addison saw each other was during her stay, which was 4 days long. You hadn’t seen each other for five weeks, and you could tell the strain was getting to you. But, you both pushed those feelings down to focus on your friends. After all, you were both doctors.

When you did catch up, you and Addison had a slight argument the night before she was set to jet out of Seattle. You sort of made up, but you hadn’t really spoken since, just the odd text and call here and there.

You reminisced… 

“Honey, I really want to stay longer, but I can’t. I’ve got patients to get back to and-“, Addison said sadly.

“We’ve barely seen each other for weeks on end, and when we do, you suddenly have to rush off again. I get that you have a new life now and I respect that. Of course I do, but where the fuck do we fit in?! When you took the job in LA, we promised we’d make each other a priority regardless of whatever happened. You only fly back to Seattle when Richard needs you. I’m busting my butt every other week, rearranging schedules, going out of my way to see you. Because guess what, Addison? I love you! Clearly you don’t love me enough, otherwise you’d be making some sacrifices” you snapped.

Addison was taken aback. You had never seen her look so sad and upset. You just missed her so much, and wanted to be with her. You instantly felt guilty for snapping because you didn’t mean to go that far and before she could say anything, you jumped in again.

“Shit. Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just miss you so much. You know that. I’m so so sorry”, you said, equally sad as you reached for her hand.

“We’ll, I’m not going to say that didn’t hurt, because it did. But I understand. I guess it was deserved. I’m sorry too, sweetheart. I’m gonna do better, I promise”, she said.

You held each other tight, “I love you”, you said in unison.

Addison was about to say something else when - 

Her watch beeped, reminding of her flight and you drove her back to the airport where you shared one last kiss.

It wasn’t the way you wanted to make up, but it was a start.

Upon arriving back in LA, she texted immediately.

‘I’m back. I won’t say back home, because it isn’t home. Never has, never will be. My home is with you. FaceTime with me tomorrow? I love you baby xxxxx’, she texted

“Me too, my love. I most certainly will. I’m so sorry again. I love you too xxxx”, you replied.

Things improved between the two of you over the next four weeks, before she told you she couldn’t attend the wedding…

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really wanted to be there, but I just can’t get away”, she said, evidentially disappointed.

“Oh…okay. It’s fine. I can try and film it for you. It’s not going to be the same without you. I love you”. You were sad, but you didn’t want to push her.

……………..

Drawing you from your thoughts, you noticed the last of the guests arriving before the brides made their voyage down the aisle.

“Excuse me, beautiful, is this seat taken?”, you heard a voice say.

You thought you were dreaming. It couldn’t be. You looked up, to see a familiar, beautiful face smiling sweetly at you.

“Addison?!”, you shrieked

You both started crying as she pulled you up into her arms, holding you tightly.

“Surprise”, she whispered huskily into your ear.

“What are you doing here?! I thought you couldn’t come”, you cried.

“I couldn’t bear being away from you anymore”, she said, smiling through tears.

You kissed her with everything you had, before she pulled back.

“I mean it. I’m miserable in LA. I can’t stand it there. So, I’m coming home - for good”, she said.

You didn’t exactly comprehend what she said at first, but then gasped in delight, wrapping her up in your arms. Looking around, your friends were watching you both, all clearly happy for you.

You and Addison still had a lot to talk about, but right now, you put it to the side when Callie and Arizona appeared….

Everyone cried during the vow exchange, and you and Addison shared sweet, knowing looks, never letting go of each other’s hands.

…………..

At the reception, everyone gathered around Arizona and Callie as they had their first dance as a married couple.

Addison wrapped her arms around you from behind and rested her chin on your shoulder as you watched the happy couple. You hugged her arms, and she reached around to peck you on the lips. You two couldn’t get enough of each other.

When it came time for other couples to join the dance floor, you and Addison wasted no time walking hand in hand to the floor. At this point, everyone was in their own worlds, all content and happy, buzzing from the day’s events, while you and Addison were completely wrapped up in your own little bubble.

“So….”, she said, arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close as you swayed to Shania Twain’s ‘You’ve Got a Way’.

“So…”, you repeated.

She jumped right into it. 

“I’ve missed you, my love. I really have. You are everything to me. I’m so sorry for making you feel otherwise. I shouldn’t have been neglecting us”, she said softly, her eyes not leaving yours.

“Addie, hey… No, please. I’m sorry - I had no right to go off at you. I should’ve been more understanding. You uprooted your life and that’s a huge deal; because you’re a big deal, babe. I thought about what I said to you that night, and it was completely unfair, way out of line, in fact.. I was just projecting my feelings onto you. I was so scared that by you moving would have jeopardised our relationship without thinking about anything else. It was me, I was selfish”, you said, sheepishly.

“In other words, you thought I’d cheat on you. That’s it, isn’t it?”, she asked.

You felt tears in your eyes. Blinking them back, you smiled sadly and nodded.

“Come on now, you know I would never, ever, do that to you”, she said.

“I know. I…know. I just should've been more supportive of you. I know what this opportunity meant to you”, you said, your tone apologetic.

“It’s not all on you, okay. I realised I was working longer hours, and I turned my back on us because I was so overwhelmed with all of it, and avoided you, because I think deep down, I was scared too. I was afraid of hurting you, and was terrified the long distance wouldn't work at first. So, I can see how you must’ve felt that way”, Addison said, gently touching your face.

You looked into her eyes, to see the tears shimmering like white diamonds.

“Baby…”, you said.

“Being away from you, not being able to see you, or hold you, or kiss you, made me realise that you, that what we have, is worth more to me than any job. So I told Naomi I quit, called Richard, and he offered me a new job”, Addison smiled.

“Oh, Addie, that’s great!”, you said gleefully.

“Yes, yes it is. But, the best part is that I am now Grey Sloan’s Chief of Neo-Natal Surgery. I’m officially the boss now, baby. You know what that means. This is going to be so good for us!”, Addie said.

You were crying softly and gently touched her face. You knew what this meant; Addison being in charge of her own specialty, back on home soil meant everything to her. She was determined to fight for her relationship with you, so being the boss meant she could make her own rules and schedule. But, not only that, she deserved that title; worked hard for it her whole life; and you were determined to fight to the ends of the earth for her. 

It hit you then that she was really back.

“You’re home?!”, you asked, almost in shock.

“Mm-hmm. I’m home, baby”, she beamed.

“No more messing around, no more arguments. This is it - you and me. No more turning back. I want to fight for us”, she continued.

“I want to fight for us too”, you said back.

You smiled brightly at each other, feeling more connected and more in love than ever.

She was just about to kiss you when you heard the clinking of champagne glasses, as Callie’s father, Mr Torres called for a toast.

“Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate my beautiful daughter, Calliope and her wonderful new wife, Arizona on their special day today. These two have gone through hell and back to be together. I have never felt prouder of my little girl, than I do today. I look around the room, and see it filled with such love. It’s a really beautiful thing. Real, true love is a once in a lifetime feeling, so if you’ve found it, hold onto it with both hands and never let it go, because it’s one crazy ride. Ladies, I congratulate you both on overcoming your obstacles and finding your way to each other. I love you both so much, my dear daughters. To Callie and Arizona!”, Mr Torres exclaimed, full of pride.

“To Callie and Arizona!”, everyone said.

The newlyweds kissed, before turning their attention to the wedding cake.

You and Addison watched the whole exchange, extremely proud of your friends, grateful to be a part of their special, historic day; however, deep down, you both pictured this day of your own, in your not so distant future.

Addison and you shared a look, and you both just knew. This was the path you wanted to take.

“Forever and always, Addie”, you said, winking at her.

“Forever and always, Y/N”, she repeated, clutching your hand, bringing it to her lips.

[winterspiderpurrs]

The phone rang twice before it was picked up.

" Hey Punk. This isn't the normal Sunday catch up.... can't wait til lunch tomorrow? What do you need?"

Steve laughs, he was folding some laundry and had his cell phone sitting on the coffee table with his ear buds in.

" Hey Buck, can't a guy call you up with out needing something?"

" Not in my line of business but I also know you Rogers. If it couldn't wait a day...."

" Yeah your right...err... well I met someone... and I don't wanna look them up in the system.. and wondered if you could see what you can find out? "

Bucky laughed " Ooh and here I thought this was serious. What makes you think you need to look them up? It's easy work but seems odd for you to ask"

Steve chuckles a little nervously " He seems... no he is adorable. Very sweet and just... a touch to good to be true. And I saw him getting into an extremely fancy black car after the gym one time."

" shit. Okay what's there name, any other details you can give before I go to my sources?"

" he is an Columbia University student. He is so smart. Only 21 and working on his doctors I think he said something about bio engineering? His name is Peter Parke"

" Meet me at our spot. Now. Drop and hurry."

The line ends and Steve stares over at the phone for a moment before rushing to grab his keys, wallet, gun and his baseball cap. He slips on his jacket and heads out of his apartment. He is only about 5 blocks away from their meet up spot. The old apartment complex they grew up in. The downstairs has 24hr dinner. His mom used to wait tables there before she passed.

Bucky was already there waiting in the far back corner. Two coffees sitting on the table.

" Buck. What's going on- you"

Bucky leans across the table moving his phone into view " is that him? Take a good look and I need you to be 100% sure Steve"

Staring at Bucky before looking at the phone. It was clear in the photo was the smiling face of Peter Parker.

" Yes that Pe-"

" Don't say his name out."

Now the two childhood friends are just staring at each other. Bucky puts his phone away before whipping his hand across his face in frustration. He sighs looking up at the ceiling then back to Steve.

" How did you meet. And be clear with me Steve. Did he bump into, did he engage the initial meet, dropped something and you picked it up, waiting for you to open a door, let you move ahead of him in line."

Steve frowns " No he didn't. I've seen him for a while at the gym in passing. And after we last hung out you said I should put myself out there.... so I approached him. Honestly I wasn't sure if it was gonna work. But I asked him to join me for lunch at the place next to the gym. ... he said I wasn't his type but we had a good lunch. And we have been meeting the past couple of weeks at the gym and having a lunch..."

Sighing Bucky takes a big swig of coffee. " You know the man I work for Steve. Thankfully you keep out of our business and we keep out of yours. But.... the kid.... he is a kitten amongst wolves. He is my bosses son. And he probably already knows about you and have you being watched. Thankfully you haven't made big enough moves on bambino for him to show up at your door"

Peter Parker, cute adorable flirty but shy nerd, son of rumored mob boss Tony Stark. Owner of Stark Industries. And here Steve was, FBI agent.

" Fuck Bucky.... are you gonna get in trouble for meeting me here then? What should I do?"

" First.... I'm going to have kitten tell me how he feels if he wants to be serious with you. Then we are going to approach Stark about courting his kid"

" I care sbout him Buck. But how could... the dad let me date his kid?"

" Steve. Your straight lace. You have rules and morals. You would Never hurt him. When you care your all in, til the end no matter what it takes. He knows that about you. Your the perfect person for his son.... also looks good to the public."

" Okay. But I don't even have his phone number.. we just meet at the gym. Won't see him til Monday."

Bucky nods before pulling his phone back out, couple of clicks then he is holding it up to his ear.

" HI Jamie! I miss you! You never check in on me anymore how are you?"

Steve blinks and looks hard at Bucky who is currently fighting a small blush from rising. Well... now Steve might know who Peter's type was. Interesting.

[abbatoirablaze]

Angel Of Death, Chapter 12

Word Count:  1.3k

Warnings: swearing from a child, Ransom antagonizing a child, mentions of murder

Ransom was out of his car before Bucky Curtis had pulled to a stop, rushing towards you instantly.  His eyes were widened in alarm as he noticed the red mark on your cheek.  He felt rage brewing in his heart as he looked at you and then to your men.   He pulled out his gun and aimed it between them, “what the fuck happened?  Who hit her?”

As soon as you shied away from his hand, he looked back to you, his attention pulled from Nick and Frank. 

“Get away from my mom!”

Ransom’s jaw ticked as he looked at the little boy.  But you shook your head, ”I-I lied to him…  Ransom, please put the gun away.”

Ransom glared at the young man in between himself and you.  His glare settled on Charles and his nostrils flared, “you mean he hit you?”

“I-I deserved it, Rans-“

“You’re a woman and his mother,” Ransom growled, glaring at the boy again, “he should never raise his hand to you, Nicola. I would never even think about hitting my own mother.”

“Ransom, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” he argued, half tempted not to holster his gun.  But when he felt your hand on his pec, his eyes softened, and he looked at you.  He holstered it and his hand reached out to touch your cheek, “are you okay?”

“Loki…”

And suddenly his walls were back up as Curtis, Ari, and Bucky walked around the perimeter of the house, pausing at the beginning of the backyard. He was quick to pull you to himself as though his body would be your shield if Loki was still lurking around the corner.

“Boss…you’re gonna wanna see this,” Bucky commented with a stern look, “it’s definitely Loki’s work…and he massacred them.”

“I don’t need to see a massacre, Barnes…”

“Loki and Kemp,” you answered, clinging to him, “th-they had Charles.”

“Oh, so your son will watch his grandfather and his men be murdered and he slaps his mother…” Ransom growled, turning back to the child, “sounds like he needs to learn some manners.  Or don’t they teach that in Italy?”

“Ransom.”  He turned his attention towards you again and he noticed that you had a nervous look in your eyes. 

“Baby…what’s wrong?”

“Baby?”

You blushed, looking away from how your son seemed to question your newfound relationship with Ransom. 

“Play your cards right, and I’ll make sure you don’t get shipped off to military school for hurting your mom, you little shit.”

“RANSOM!”

“Yeah, we get it, you hate Ransom, he’s banging your mom, and she called him for help,” Bucky said sarcastically to the awkward trio.  Your eyes went wide, and you rushed your son and attempted to cover his ears, but it was too late.  The damage was done, “It’s an even more awkward situation if we keep tiptoeing around it.  Now, what do you want us to do, Ran?  Curtis will sweep the house and make sure there’s no bugs or explosives, but she can’t stay here...not with the target on her back.  Not unless you want to be burying her and the kid next.”

“Mommy?”

Your son had turned to you, and you looked away from him, embarrassed that he knew what was going on between you and Ransom wasn’t strictly business.  The two of you had already had a discussion when he brought you flowers, and you had told your son that you weren’t interested.  It was an obvious lie, but one that he hadn’t felt the need to call you out on.  At least, not until now.

“You’re staying at my estate,” Ransom said definitively ending the moment of unspoken communication between you and your son, “you and him…and your men.”

Your eyes shot back to Ransom, and it was your son who put his foot down, “We are not!  And I mean not!  Staying with this pansy, mom.”

“This pansy is banging your mom.”

“RANSOM!”

“He started it.”

“Way to go boss!” Bucky smirked, stopping short of you three, “fighting with a six-year-old.”

“I’m eight, asshole!”

“CHARLES!  LANGUAGE!”

Your son looked up to you, his hardened exterior fading away as he gave you the most innocent look he could muster, “is this true?  Are you sleeping with him, mommy?

“I don’t think that this is an appropriate conversation, Char-“

Mommy?”

“What do you want me to say, Charles?”

“The truth!”

“The truth is that it is none of your business,” you admitted softly, not really willing to disclose the exact relationship which you and Ransom had.  But it was mainly because you, yourself didn’t know exactly what the title was.  You knew that the two of you weren’t dating, but last night had felt so much more intimate than just simple sex.  You felt connected to Ransom in a way that had taken you years to feel similarly with Charles, “but we will be staying with him, since he was kind enough to offer.  Thank you Ransom.”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

He smiled, watching as your son cringed when he called you by a pet name.  He leaned in, pulling you into his arms once more as he stuck his tongue out at the young child.  Charles glared daggers at the mob boss and looked up at Curtis, the silent man who was coming down the steps with a manilla envelope. 

“What’s that?”

“Paternity shit and a DVD marked ‘conception,’ along with some other stuff,” Curtis grumbled, handing the manilla envelope directly to Ransom.  You felt your heart thumping anxiously in your chest as you knew that it had to have been from Bobby.  He looked at Charles and the young boy gave him a silent nod.  He did the same, and his eyes shifted between Ransom and himself, “you the kid?”

“Obviously.  Are you the dumbass?”

Curtis smirked at him, enjoying the snarky attitude, but you blushed and pulled your son beside you, “I’m so sorry, he’s not norma-“

“He’s fine.  I like him,” Curtis admitted.  Charles smiled, feeling like if he was going to be stuck with Ransom and you, that he’d at least find a friend in the standoffish brute, “he’ll get along well with Mary.”

“Who’s Mary?”

“So, you’re saying that you have two dads?”

“No.  It’s really not that hard to understand, Mary shrugged as she tried to explain her situation to Charles yet again, “Uncle Frank adopted me…so he’s kind of like my dad…but I just call him Frank…and then there’s Ari.  He’s uncle Franks boyfriend.  They were supposed to marry each other, but your mommy and Mr. Ransom are jerks.”

Charles frowned, hearing someone talking bad about his mother, “my mommy didn’t do that.  It was probably Ransom.  He’s a right prick…I bet that it’s for sure all his fault.  You’ve met my mommy.  She’s nice.”

“Yeah,” she sighed in agreeance, “I do like your mom.  But when they made Frank and Ari break up, I wasn’t allowed to be here anymore.  I never been to your estate, so I don’t know what that’s like.  Is it nicer than here?”

“Wait…so you know this place?”

“Of course I do,” she giggled, leading him through the massive corridor on the third floor, “this whole floor was for me, Curtis, Bucky, Frank and Ari when Mr. Ransom insisted we live together to be closer.”

“I like Curtis,” Charles smiled, “he lets me swear.”

“He’s really cool,” she admitted, “he’s the weapons guy for Ransom.  And Bucky is the security guy…what does Nick do?”

“I don’t know what any of them do,” he shrugged, “I haven’t been with my mommy long.”

She frowned, “I haven’t seen my mommy in a long time either…but at least I have Frank and Ari.  And now that we’re in lockdown together because the bad guys went after your mom, you can help  me.”

“Help you?” he asked, “help you with what?”

“You have to help me get Frank and Ari back together.”

Charles bit his lip, weighing his options.  Then he smiled, “okay.  I’ll help you…but under one condition.”

“Name it!”

“You have to help me break up Ransom and my mom.”

She sneered, “Ransom and your mom?  They’re dating?  That’s gross.”

“I know,” he grumbled, “so what do you say, Mary…you gonna help me?”

She sighed, “fine…but only if we get Ari and Frank together first!”

“Deal!”

Chapter 13

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @lala415

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 

“You okay?” 

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said. 

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!