#what the freak legion

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

Big question -

WTF MARVEL/FEIGE???WTF??????

And will the righteous ire of the Stephen Strange fandom be enough to change the ridiculous course that you have him on?

WTF Marvel/Feige??????

First, you gave his sequel to the antagonist while reducing Stephen to being lovesick rather than the strong freaking TITULAR character of his own supposed movie.

Then you completely reverse his character development from What If...? Season 1, turning him into exactly what MoM Reed Richards told 616 Stephen that he was.

It appears the only correct treatment & love and FREAKING ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF STEPHEN AS THE TRUE HERO THAT SUFFERED 1,500+ YEARS MISERY IN ORDER TO RESTORE THE 616 UNIVERSE IS GOING TO COME FROM...

FAN FICTION WRITERS

[assassinhomecreedstuck]

i cant believe ive played world of warcraft for 20 years

[nutton-of-tata]

No One Escapes Frank - Dwight Fairfield/Frank Morrison (The Legion) smut fanfic

Dwight is the last one alive. He's bleeding out on the ground and has already accepted he's going to be sacrificed. The killer picks him up, but then drops him a few feet from the hatch. If Dwight wants to escape The Legion member Frank Morrison, he needs to work for it.

Click here to read it on AO3!

[foreverambrosia]

Watched the Laxus focused episode and just admired Laxus the whole episode. He's the coolest 🌸

[thunderheadfred]

giving people like me free unfettered access to Notion was a mistake

[aromanticasterisms]

okay. okay.

[thethronezone]

Primarchs at the birth of their child

Mortation keeps trying to tell the midwives how to do their job. He's not doing it to be a dick but he really comes of that way. He's wearing those plastic shoe covers.

Fulgrim has the balloons, he's got the confetti cannon ready, he's documenting the whole thing. Probably has an artist in the room, making a commemorative painting.

Angron is pacing around the room and glaring at the midwives, freaking them out. Has to be escorted out so they can do their jobs in peace. Still pacing outside the room.

Magnus is so fascinated by the process that he almost forgets to comfort the mother of his child. Spouts a bunch of random fact about pregnancies, childbirth and the human body to distract them from the pain.

Konrad is freaking the midwives out but they are too scared to ask him to leave. He's not even trying to be scary for once, he's just super focused on the delivery and can't look away. He hasn't blinked even once in twenty minutes. One of the midwives are crying.

Lorgar won't stop yapping. Oh what a glorious moment! Praise God! Another member for his flock to guide! Asks if he can save the umbilical cord and the afterbirth. For religious purposes. Lorgar, you fucking freak, no.

Perturabo keeps complaining the whole time. Why is it taking so long? Are the midwives sure they know what they are doing? The room is not big enough. Grumbles when the midwives throw him out.

Horus brought the entire Luna Wolves legion with him, they are all waiting in the hallway right outside the delivery room. He's filming the whole thing, providing commentary like it's a sport event.

Alpharius is there. Omegon is also there, disguised as a doctor. In fact, every midwife just might be an Alpha Legionnaire. They are all pretending everything is normal.

Sanguinius is acting like he's the one giving birth. He's crying so much. He's just- he's just so darn happy. The midwives don't have the heart to tell him to calm down. Is getting weirdly hungry?

Vulkan is yet another one that has to be escorted out of the delivery room. He was just too damn cheerful and kept interrupting the midwives by telling them how happy he was and that he's so excited to be a father. Like bro, they get it, but stop shaking their hands.

Jaghatai is right there, holding the hand of the mother to his soon-to-be born child. His leg is also vibrating at the speed of sound. He's so damn hyped but keeps calm so he won't be thrown out.

Dorn is unhappy because the birth is not taking place at the hyper secure, secret bunker he built for just this moment. He's barricading the room for "security reasons". Was asked to leave but straight up just said "no" and they couldn't do anything about it.

Leman is another Primarch that brought his entire legion with him. He was also promptly shoved out of the delivery room cause he kept getting in the way of the midwives. Stands outside the door, whining, wanting to be let back in.

Lion just stands in the corner, unmoving, barely saying anything except every now and then when he tells the midwives to work faster. Is internally freaking out about the whole thing.

Roboute falls asleep in a chair, covered by the baby blanket, and only wakes up when the delivery is well under way and almost done. Please forgive him, he ain't gotten a good night's sleep in years.

Corvus is also freaking out, though compared to Lion, is much more vocal about it. He's already convinced he's going to be an awful dad and that the child will hate him. Corvus, please, chill.

Ferrus is trying to distract himself from the fact he's about to be a father by focusing on the tools and the scientific aspect of it all. He is also freaking out but refuses to show it.

[solselah]

Off rip I see you carry the energy of duality super heavy , You could be Bi sexual specifically or in general apart of The LGBTQIA+ community! people are shocked about what you’re attracted to if you choose to express that , it’s always a shock factor towards it.

(which you never understand) I can see people are generally shocked when they come across your energy being that you truly just give

“you were made for me” vibes

&

“Match made in heaven energy”

it's shocking to come across an energy like yours! (Mini 18+ warning ) For my Ladies, people love love your boobs its something about your chest area!! There can also be a tattoo that you have in the middle of your chest that's a staple and ultimately shocking once revealed. you can be real freaky pile 1 & those you were intimate with are still shocked to this day about how freaky you are. You just don’t give that energy from the outside looking in. For a handful of you your ex is super shocked that you literally fell of the face of the planet , it’s like they had so much access when you were together but currently they are incredibly “shocked” that you are a bit difficult to contact , They definitely feel surprised / confused that you aren’t friends anymore. They at least thought you both would be cordial! You chose to fully separate which on your part was best & healthy for YOU.

You either seen them recently or will & they are/ Were SHOCKED to see you ! Like you look GOOOOD pile 1 you really ARE that BITCH , THAT GIRL , THAT MAN !!!

I purely channeled for this pile so you definitely have an

“Off the record”

vibe to you that shocks people.

Channeled song :

PERFECT - Dave East ft Chris Brown

444

You are so loyal and it can kind of be in insult if someone ever said to you in your face that they thought you wouldn’t value loyalty in life. you are the ride or die friend & in retrospect your so protected in friendships definitely more than you think. For this pile you could truly be a “loner” , people are pretty shocked that you don’t have a whole legion of friends!

People are also shocked to know you have the ability to not freak out if that makes sense , you can stay calm in the most intense situations and circumstances! You can literally just vibe out & that alone was birthed from all the hurdles and lessons you endured. You learned & mastered the art of not giving af and people find this not only shocking but attractive it’s like a gift you don’t usually see in everyone. People are pretty shocked to find out that you have hella skeletons in your closet but you hide it so well & with you it doesn’t present in a toxic manner.. you know your dark side . You don’t just scream all your fuck ups out loud. If asked , potentially but on a General level yea its a NO!

I feel heavy Scorpio energy as well for this pile 🦂

I see a visual of a Strip club and a pole and I loveeee it ! So you may be heavily into the night life in your city , or you entertain professionally in your city but people are shocked to see you outside of certain environments! Unfortunately in this world people judge strictly off looks and it seems you’ve been a victim of that at some point pretty heavily & your 360 is SHOCKING to people who knew & resonated with the “old you”. People are shocked that you really put your mind to this and started to hustle for your own ! You got some individuals who are shocked that you are humble with your money , it’s like you could be shitting on bitches but you’re super humble about it. Thats shocking to those who felt like the old you would be “obnoxious” about your success! This pile gets MONEY And idk why people are in YALLs pockets, but that’s so shocking to people It’s scary. People want the formula babes … it’s shocking but it’s the pure interest for me.

You could really pop your shit if you wanted to , And you’re super independent!! definitely keep beating the odds that arise against you while effortlesly shocking these h*** ;)

Random Side bar : The way you ride , you always shock whoever has the pleasure 🍆😗

Y’all are such lovers im talking hopeless romantic and that’s shocking to the outside world like you don’t come off as that “type” whatever that means ! Maybe you just aren’t as mushy with those around you but when it comes to that one person or the person (s) you choose to trust your… a dream! It’s Mesmerizing and shocking to those involved . This pile could be undeniably intuitive and that’s a shock value to pretty much everyone you meet , you may not sense when your intuitive nature kicks in but it’s like watching something unfold exactly how you want , it’s so satisfying.

People are shocked that you turn hate or challenges into powerful trophy’s ! You are a true Transmutator you can pretty much bend a lot of things to your will , lol this can truly go a lot of ways but I can see you TRY to keep this asset as positive as possible

I can see people are usually shocked when you tell them the hobbies you're into , I can clearly hear "streaming "or "gaming" !

I also pick up on loving cosplay and it’s shocking when you like magically transform ! It’s pretty cool :) 🧚

Hope you enjoyed ;) 💗

[eff-plays]

Ok fine you guys twisted my arm (I say to a completely empty room) here's why I think Mass Effect 2 worked and Veilguard tried to copy it and failed.

First up is the complexity of the goal/plot. In ME2, the end goal was simple: Stop the Collectors from harvesting humans. Blast off through the Omega 4 Relay and probably die. Take down as many Collectors as possible before you die. Basically, shoot stuff until it explodes. It made sense that half of the squadmates were just "legendary badass", "legendary badass (green skin version)" and "legendary badass (huge tits version)." You need to kill dudes, so you pick people who are good at killing. There are a few who are better at tech or science, but they use tech and science to, you guessed it, kill dudes. Then you have a few who join due to aligning goals (Legion) or loyalty to Shepard (Tali, Garrus) or humanity/Cerberus (Jacob, Miranda), or they're literally getting paid to be there (Kasumi and Zaeed). But all of them have reasons to stick around, of various importance.

The specificity of the main plot is also relevant here, because everybody in the galaxy is like "oh humans are getting kidnapped? sucks to suck dude rip in piss ://" so it makes sense to recruit whoever you can get. You need help for an issue that (according to everyone who would otherwise help) only concerns you. So you're like "hey are you good at killing? and do you mind dying?" and most of those freaks go "yeah lmao whatever." They're self-selecting, because the cause is so specific and explicitly suicidal.

The suicidal thing also helps explain the loyalty missions, btw. They're not presented as "hey can you umm help? or I'm gonna be distwacted 👉👈" but as "hey man, these people are willing to die on your command, you should probably help them with their unfinished business at the very least." And yeah, the mechanic of "if you don't help they'll fucking perish" remains the same, but the framing is different. In ME2, you're basically helping a bunch of professionals to do this final thing before they die for your cause. It's both a sign of respect and of consideration for them as people, and strengthens your bond with them and their loyalty to you. The way it's framed means that you don't have to do this in order for them to do their job, but doing it helps strengthen their belief in you.

And because the stakes are relatively low (as far as everyone knows), of course the squadmates will respect and appreciate a Shepard who takes care of them more. Of course it builds loyalty. This person isn't just using you as a meat shield for their pet crusade, they're genuinely trying to do what's right and don't want you to die for nothing.

In Veilguard, you're literally told multiple times that you have to do their dumbfuck busywork or else they're gonna throw in the towel. Hey man can you do this thing? Or else I'm not saving the world :3c The stakes being SO HIGH while their issues are SO NOTHING makes most of them look really immature and incompetent, which clashes against the whole "gang of experts" thing. You're telling me this couldn't wait? I have to go into Lucanis' mind and figure out his traumas or else he won't ... hold a knife good? And that will doom the world because he's the only guy who can hold a knife? Okay???

ME2 presents everybody as professionals and experts in their field, but at the end of the day, they're just there to kill stuff. Remove one, and another will be found. The mission is (as far as everyone in power knows) not galaxy-threatening yet, so finding new guys to help would be easy. That's why Shep taking the time to solve their final issues means something and why it earns their loyalty. It shows that Shep cares about them as people.

Veilguard presents these people as experts in their fields, too. They're considered irreplacable in this conflict. And the conflict is saving the whole entire fucking world. And YET, that has to take a backseat to them figuring out what happened to a work colleague or Lucanis' grandma, because none of these experts can take a fucking chill pill to SAVE THE WORLD.

ME2 offers "low" stakes for the conflict and high stakes for the characters, so when it focuses on the characters' stories, it makes sense. You get the impression that it's character drama with a common goal that brings them all together. Veilguard offers high stakes for the plot and low stakes for the characters, but still focuses on the characters, so you get the sense that we're fucking around playing therapist while the world is on fire in the background, and it's presented as totally logical, because these guys can't save the world without a clear mind!! Despite being ... experts in their fields.

That's why, to me, Rook feels like a therapist while Shep feels like a leader.

Anyway, this is the formal end of the post but I wrote more on the specific character motivations of the Veilguard and why they don't work/feel trite to me and how that adds to Rook feeling like they're a therapist but it didn't fit with the rest of the post so under cut.

Another thing is that, while sometimes the problems of the Veilguard are technically higher stakes than the problems of the ME2 squad, there is a sense of "Hey do you actually need me for this?" And that I think is in part to the lacking motivations of the Veilguard. It's so unclear why some of them stick around that it becomes difficult to justify why they wouldn't just leave to fix their own issues.

(For example, Garrus asks us to help kill a guy. The guy isn't dangerous, he's not out there killing people or in possession of a superweapon ready to destroy a city. He's just an asshole and Garrus wants revenge. He could, technically, leave and just kill the guy himself. He knows where the guy is, so what's holding him back? Well, the job is. And Shepard is. Garrus wants Shep's help, because he doesn't trust himself to finish it on his own. He needs somebody to rely on, but he also knows that he can't just leave without Shep's permission, and that Shep needs him, too. Everything is on Shep's schedule, and there's no real time limit. His revenge can wait until Shep is ready to offer their help.

Neve is hunting an old rival who is a blood mage threatening to enslave her favorite city in all da world. It's pretty damn high stakes. But in my playthrough, Neve wasn't counting on Rook's help at all. In fact, she explicitly mentioned several times that she didn't. Yet, she still sat around and waited for their help. She didn't leave to deal with this on her own, didn't even consider it. But why not? What about Rook or this cause is keeping her there, especially since there's canonically time before the next big move and the issue is so high-stakes and pressing? People will die if she doesn't do something, yet she's sitting on her ass waiting for Rook, whose help she isn't counting on, to step up? What???)

Neve is introduced as being hired by Varric to find Solas, which she does. In the tutorial mission. She sticks around after Varric dies because ... she's in too deep now, I guess. She has to help save the world, you see. Even though all she wants is to go back to Minrathous and protect the people there. She wants your help to. Figure out some stuff. The famous big city detective needs the help of a person who's introduced as somebody who "thinks in straight lines" and whose nickname is probably a play on "rookie." She is not getting paid for this. She's doing this out of the kindness of her heart, even though most of her time on screen is spent dreaming of her favorite city in da world. She's not an expert in anything that has to do with the current plot, so she's in-fiction not really vital to keep around. Her role as a mage is made entirely pointless by the existence of Bellara and Emmrich. Supposedly her area of expertise is in blood magic ... despite hating it and not actually practicing it, on account of it being bad and evil. So she's an expert in killing blood mages, then?

Well, no. That's Lucanis. He's the resident mage killer ... who we find in an underwater prison, guarded by blood mages. I get there is a reason for why he was defeated, but the optics aren't great, ya know? We don't really free him as much as we lightly distract his guards, so he can bust out of the prison fully clothed and armored. He's suuper eager for revenge, but he's also been forcefully possessed. But that's okay, because we need his expertise for um. Killing mages. Which is what the Evanuris are. So this random possessed human guy will know better than anybody else how to kill the Evanuris. Sure. He decides to stick around on account of ... the Crows always finishing a contract. Who is paying him? Who is paying the Crows? His gam-gam ordered him to stay, she's basically offering us his services for freeing him. Guy is an indentured servant but acts like it's his choice, like it's an honor thing and not his grandma putting him in the toilet. And when it's time for him to show/offer his expertise in the field, he says "How am I supposed to fight a cloud?" which is fair enough, sure. But have you not fought mages before? Do you not have any reference for them doing weird shit at all? Do you not know how to disrupt rituals, break barriers? In the end, all he can practically do is hold the special knife and attempt to stick the pointy end into his target. Which my rogue Rook or Davrin or Taash chould've done. But gam-gam says to sit so he sits! It's not a very compelling motivation for this epic expert mage killer to just kinda. Stick around out of obligation. It could've been interesting, if he chafed against it or had to be won over, but he's just fine with it. It's treated as natural that this dude, who isn't even slightly an actual expert and is just a glorified knife holder and who isn't practically useful in any sense of the word, is still in the group. It's treated as natural that Rook has to go out of their way to help him clear his mind so he can hold the knife better next time, instead of just finding another guy to hold the knife. Maybe the spirit in him makes him stronger and more capable of fighting mages? No, the spirit is what made him miss in the first place, actually! So you have to help him figure it out or he'll miss again. DON'T ask somebody else to hold the knife though. It HAS TO BE Lucanis. Because he's the mage killer expert. Who missed. And can't handle mages.

Then we have Taash, who we need to kill the blighted dragons. They're the only dragon hunter around and have an encyclopedic knowledge of said dragons. Unfortunately the blighted state of the dragons that are actually necessary to kill are behaving in unexpected and different ways from normal dragons. They're literally manipulated by the Evanuris to be harder to kill. Making Taash's expertise moot. I didn't even have them in my party when I took on two dragons at once, and in fact the only dragons that Taash is presented as capable of killing are ones that they want us to kill. So this expert we recruit mostly introduces more dragons for us to kill that aren't actually threatening us in any way. The main time Taash has to show off their knowledge is when we use the dragon trap ... which was fashioned by Wardens. Who are all trained specifically to fight Archdemons. Who are dragons. That are blighted. Do you uh. Do you see my problem here. Taash also sticks around the Veilguard for inexplicable reasons. Mostly it seems they don't want to go home to their mother, which is fine, but this is a whole-ass adult, supposedly. They could go back to hunting dragons for the Lords, because they're written as too self-absorbed to really care about stepping up to the fight just for the sake of it. So despite them not really being useful in any way to the overall plot, we still have to help them figure out their gender identity, or else they won't be able to ... fight the blighted dragons. Which they couldn't fight. On account of the blight. Cool cool cool.

Then we have Emmrich, who is a professor and has shit to do. He is also presented as a Fade expert, while Bellara is somehow not, despite doing most of the Fade-related and artifact-related magic on-screen. Emmrich joins the Veilguard on account of um. Well we asked nicely, and he's a good guy, so he has to help save the world. Despite the fact that he's terrified of dying. Which he's far more likely to do after leaving his job. And the thing is, yeah, "the world might end so we need to stop that!" is a valid motivation, but if we accept it as the motivation of a central character whose plot we must find compelling, then why is it that it's only a few guys trying to save the world? This conflict is prestented as bigger than all the previous games combined, bigger than (the) Inquisition, which had literally entire armies and different branches and infrastructure for it's "smaller" conflict, and people were still volunteering and joining in droves, but here we're 8 guys? Are we meant to believe Emmrich's willingness to join the Veilguard is somehow unique to him, and that nobody else in the world would volunteer to join? When Harding exists, on the same team?

Speaking of, Harding is a character who can really get away with "I wanna save the world", because her joining the Inquisition is literally how she got into the plot in the first place. She's a joiner. She joins heroic causes. So her having this sort of bare-bones but noble motivation works. Same with Davrin. Bellara seems to join out of both curiosity and guilt, which are interesting enough reasons and come through visibly in her subplot and characterization, but more importantly, she doesn't have anything holding her back that might take priority until she finds out her brother is alive. Her sticking around also makes some sense because she's ya know. An elf mage Fade expert. Or sorry an elf artifacts expert.

I'm not saying "somebody's gotta do it!" or "it's the right thing to do!" aren't valid motivations, they clearly are, but there's gotta be more to it, especially when it comes to characters who have something to lose like Emmrich. My guy is terrified of death but he's such a good dude that he jumps into this life-threatening conflict without a second thought? But then gets so "distracted" by his wacky scientist former colleague that he needs our help figuring it out? Huh???

Um. I didn't have a conclussy for this part of the post so. bye

[xxplastic-cubexx]

From the same Storm mini-series 🥹

THE FAM 🥺

[bayetea]

when nico pulled up to camp jupiter with hazel

nico: this is my sister. please accept her into the legion and take care of her

jason: oh another pluto kid. wow. hi hazel

hazel: (freaked out because jason is the whitest man she's ever seen) um. hello

octavian: what is wrong with her

nico: nothing she's Normal

reyna: (aurum and argentum start growling) why are you lying

nico: I'm not lying she's normal. tell them hazel

hazel: (accidentally summons 70 precious gems out of the ground) sorry. don't touch those please

nico: see. normal

[devine-fem]

Can we please talk about this more?

Calm down omg…

His face 😭

Look at how sad he is… I only headcanon that he couldn’t hear his heartbeat because why else would he freak/not be able to find him in general. It still probably scares him that even though a heartbeat is constant, a lot of things could get in the way of Jon hearing a heartbeat either way Legion Jon was a whole different breed, Legion Jon would do anything for Damian.

But don’t worry, he talked to him.

LOOK AT HIS FAAACE!! Why were they in their divorce era?? 😭😭 He probably feels so stupid for being all dramatic over Damian now. Also, when Dami calls him Jonathan >>>😭😭 It’s so incredibly special to me, I don’t know what it is.

[canine-economy]

does anyone still freak with the legion in 2025. because I've been losing on their side for six years (iykyk what it was like to be a legion fan when they first released) and I have not moved on so here's some little hcs and how I currently envision/draw them all this time later :] they're like the only thing I can sit and draw these days.

&& longer-form talk abt my design choices under the cut!

julie's comic design is so perfect to me that I was sold as soon as it released. not much to change there. funnily enough, i could never picture her as a blonde until it released, even though we knew from her tome cosmetic well before the comics came out. i think frank's comic design has a strong vibe going for it but I wanted to blend it with some skeet ulrich in scream and pay homage to my original interpretations. I just like the lighter hair on him. joey's comic design is also perfect to me! I'm just so used to the beard and face paint from his fog/model design that I gave him a bit of a shadow to call back to it. susie's canon blue eyes make a return (I used to draw her w dark eyes!). color contacts will not reach her in the Entity's realm mark my words.

i'm aware everyone in the Fog was retroactively confirmed to be 18+ but there's something really miserable and important to me abt the legion being eternally trapped in their teenage friend group with their teenage angst and having that be warped and manipulated forever and ever. that crap already feels like the whole world when you're that age, and now you're a murderer in spider hell. rough! i keep them teens in my iteration but with zero intent of being weird abt it. so like. don't be weird abt the legion around me. they're like my strange kids.

[cryptidghostgirl]

could you do Alastor and Lucifer with an Living! Adams Family! Reader?

A/N duh. this idea was so fun!! It's giving Beetlejuice in the best way

I Myself am Strange and Unusual (Alastor x Reader x Lucifer)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Mention of suicide in reference to Dante's Inferno. Bones. Art made from bones.

Word Count: 1,655

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List

Y/n sat before the summoning circle as she lit the las candle. It was a Friday and she was bored, what else was she supposed to be doing besides following some probably fake spell she found in a book she'd thrifted? She took after her mother in that regard but had wound up with her fathers rather flamboyant personality.

"Now, what are those words..." she mumbled to herself, turning the odd slip of paper the spell had been written on over.

Her eyes glazed over them and she cleared her throat.

"Spirits from beyond, I call you Lucifer, who first cursed us, I call you to me. Lucifer, who commands the legions of the dead, I summon you from the last plane to the first. Lucifer, wicked, heartless beast, I bring you to your knees before me. Spirits from beyond, I call you!"

Y/n looked up from the paper in excitement, a look which quickly dimmed as absolutely nothing happened before her eyes. She turned back to the paper, squinting to read the cramped letters.

"Okay, wait. Theres another name here. Uh, spirits from beyond, I call you. Alastor, keeper of the dark defeat, I call you to me. Alastor, demonic overlord, I summon you from the last plane to the first. Alastor, both hunter and hunted, I bring you to your knees before me. Spirits from beyond, I call you."

Again, her work failed to yield any results. Y/n stayed seated for a moment, waiting. When it was clear to her that the spell had not in fact done it's job, she sighed and got to her feet.

"Well that was a waste of a half hour."

She turned on the lights before leaning forward and grabbing the nearest candle. With a short breath of air, she blew it out only, somehow, all the candles seemed to go out as she did this, even the scented one on the shelf that hadn't been involved in the ritual.

"Oh there is no way." Y/n smiled, anticipation bubbling in her chest, "There is literally no way!"

The lights began to flicker as she placed the candle she was holding on the desk. The minute it hit the table's surface, the room fell into a short spell of darkness. As the lights flickered back on, Y/n saw two men standing in the center of the circle.

Well, men was a strong word. They were both humanoid in shape but, neither really looked like people. They looked around the room in shock, taking in every detail before their eyes landed on each other.

The taller of the two demons, the one all in red and holding an old fashioned looking microphone, widened his already close to horrific smile. The smaller one, dressed in all white, narrowed his eyes.

"You." the man in white sighed, crossing his arms, "Of course I had to get summoned with you."

"There is literally no way." Y/n exclaimed, cutting off the red demon as he opened his mouth to speak.

Both men turned to Y/n, in her black dress with her wide excited eyes.

"Ah." the red demon hummed, his voice coming out like radio static as he straightened his jacket, "You must be the one who summoned us. I am Alastor, quite the pleasure to meet you. Yes, quite the pleasure."

Y/n turned her gaze to the demon in white.

"So that means you must be Lucifer. It is such an honor to meet you."

"Huh." Lucifer smiled slightly, "Now that's more like it. Wait, you're not one of those freaks, are you?"

"Freaks?" Y/n asked, her head cocked slightly to the side and her brow furrowed.

"One of those oh! You brought evil to the world! You're my idol people." Lucifer imitated animatedly.

Alastor shot him an irritated look as Y/n's eyes widened and she shook her head.

"No no no! They have it all wrong. You didn't bring evil, you gave us the greatest gift of all. You have us free will, self determination. The ability to be exactly who we are and want to be."

Lucifer turned to Alastor, crossing his arms over his chest with a self satisfied smile.

"Oh I like her. Pretty and she knows her stuff?"

Y/n blushed slightly, looking away. She clasped her hands behind her back. Alastor didn't like that.

"Yes, quite the charming girl indeed." he hummed through gritted teeth, meeting Y/n's eyes.

"And Alastor..." she put a finger to her lip in thought, "Alastor... I am really sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I don't think I have ever heard of you before."

His eye twitched and Lucifer's grin widened.

"Well, my dear, I just so happen to be one of the most powerful overlords in all the rings of Hell."

"Huh. Neat."

"So, what have you called us here to do?" Lucifer asked amiably.

"Oh, well, I hadn't really though that far. Um..." she looked around the space of her room.

There wasn't anything she really wanted. Y/n had a comfortable life, a loving family. Anyone she wanted revenge on she was more than capable of taking care of on her own. Mostly, she was just bored.

Nodding her head once, she walked up to the edge of the summoning circle and promptly sat down. Her legs crossed, she adjusted the long skirt of her dress over her knees.

"Let's just chat."

Alastor and Lucifer exchanged a confused look.

"You are going to have to ask us for something, my dear." Alastor hummed pleasantly, "Otherwise we wont be able to go home. That's how this little game works, after all."

"So, I am asking you to chat. Do you guys want any drinks or something?"

With a shrug to Alastor, Lucifer sat down on the floor with his legs crossed as well. With a reluctant sigh, Alastor followed suit.

"So, what is Hell like?" Y/n asked eagerly, "Is it dark and full of bugs? It can't really be all fire and lava pits like all the art says. I mean, Dante's version of Hell makes more sense than that. Oh my gosh, is there a suicide forest? I always loved that idea, that they turn into trees. That they get the most peaceful of the options, is it real?"

"Well, there are trees." Lucifer began carefully.

"But they are not made of people's souls. No, it's actually rather close to this world down below." Alastor finished for him.

"Really? You guys have like jobs and stuff?"

"Some of us do. I am actually currently involved in a project helping to rehabilitate sinners. 'Check out of Hell and into Heaven,' that's the whole idea of the thing."

"Like you actually believe in that." Lucifer scoffed and Alastor raised a hand to his chest in false ofence.

"You... are you questioning my motives?"

"Not cool man." Y/n shook her head, "That sounds like a pretty cool project, I didn't even know something like that was possible."

Before Alastor could reply, Lucifer cut in.

"It is my daughter's project, and we aren't actually sure its possible yet."

"You have a daughter!? Is she the antichrist?"

"We-"

"Charlie Morningstar is her name." Alastor interrupted Lucifer, "And she is quite powerful. Talented too."

Lucifer turned to Alastor, glaring at him.

"Don't start this shit again."

"It's not my fault I've been there for her more than you have."

"It's more complicated than that."

"Sure it is."

At a sudden peal of bell like laughter from Y/n, the demons stopped their bickering and turned to her. She held a hand over her mouth as she tried to calm herself.

"Are you guys always like this?"

Lucifer and Alastor exchanged another look before nodding. Y/n lowered her hand, still smiling brightly.

"Maybe I'll ask you to stick around."

"You... aren't like a lot of other humans I've met in my time." Lucifer admitted.

"Strange and unusual."

"What?" Lucifer asked.

Y/n shrugged.

"That's how most people describe me. Strange and unusual. Or wonderously strange, if you ask my dad."

"Well, there is nothing wrong with that." Alastor hummed, "Strange and unusual is the best way to be. Keeps things interesting."

"Oh, no. I know. I didn't mean it in like a sob-story way. Just like, that's how I am. I don't know."

"Not a lot of people summon us. Especially not just to chat." Lucifer stated and Y/n smiled.

"What can I say, I was bored."

"You summoned us because you were bored?" Alastor repeated, his brow furrowed.

"Yeah. My friends were all busy and I love my parents but I do not love being around them on their Friday date nights let me tell you. The dancing is cute but the sword fighting when some old flame of my mother's shows up as they do every couple months? Terribile. Nothing blocks out the clang of steel against steel."

"Sounds like you come from a rather interesting family." Lucifer noted.

"Strange and unusual. I don't come from nowhere."

"Well, aren't you a gem in this dull world." Alastor mused and Y/n looked away, her cheeks slightly flushed again.

"I don't know about that, but I certainly try. Oh! Do you guys like bones? I don't know, is that a dumb question? Was it rude? Racist? Wait. Hell-cist? No that feels wrong too."

Lucifer chuckled slightly.

"Why do you ask?"

"I have a pretty big selection. Mostly deer bones."

Alastor's ears twitched.

"Deer bones?"

"Yeah." she nodded, "We eat a lot of venison at home and ever since I was a kid, my dad let me keep the bones to do projects with and the like. I have a lovely wind chime I made using parts of a spine but, sadly, its at my parents house."

"Strange and unusual." Alastor hummed.

"Strange and unusual." Y/n nodded.

----

A/N I was lowkey not sure how to end this one, I am sorry about that. I hope you liked it!!

[foreverambrosia]

Watched the Laxus focused episode and just admired Laxus the whole episode. He's the coolest 🌸