#what the FUCK was that act 3 though. heartwrenching?????

[lilyoutloud]

i accidentally pulled an all nighter finishing veilguard last night and WOOOOOH WHAT THE FUCCCCCCK anyways i have been permanently changed by the journey

[butmakeitgayblog]

Any new headcanons brewing in your head after seeing Alycia at the AACTA

Not... entirely

But I've had thoughts. Bear with me.

I'm not even remotely the person to write something like this at all, but it definitely did have me thinking of a SORT OF SHOEH-esque type fic. Something involving them being closeted and in Hollywood. Getting their flowers for their talent and being in love, but having to keep it quiet their entire careers. I've seen some fics along this line here and there, but inevitably in the fic, one or both eventually come out on stage or something.

Which is great! That's a lovely and hopeful ending.

But also....

Not entirely realistic.

Or even half as heartwrenching.

"Well yeah jesus fuck, why do you want sad shit Andi, why are you always such a glutton for punishment and literary pain?"

Well I'll tell you why: cuz... shut up

Idk it just got me thinking of Clexa as two Hollywood starlets on kind of differing ends of the spectrum of Hollywood that in the public eye are generally never really thought about together.

Lexa tends to do more gritty work, a lot more indie films. Dark threaded moody pieces and emotional roles, not generally thought of as box office fodder, but pretty much always a contender at awards season. Sleeper hits, you get me. Things like that. She definitely has a well known name, but she's selective in her work and that gains her a lot of respect with fans, even if they have to sometimes wait 2-3 years between projects. Because whatever she signs on for, it's pretty much always really fucking good. Whereas Clarke is more of a mainstream girly. She does a decently broad spectrum of films, but they're by and large always ones with bigger budgets, bigger release dates, more screens. It's not that they're not quality pictures, it's just that Clarke likes to work a broad range of things. One year she's in a comedy, the next a period piece, the next action. There's no real labeling her career.

And most importantly, they're both very, very straight.

At least, their personas are.

Alexandria is a smoky eyed femme fatale who leaves all the men eating out of the palm of her hand. Very "Look but don't touch" attitude that adds to her allure, to her mystery, despite her always being attached to leading man's arm. Miss Griffin is the picture of buxom Hollywood glam that every guy has on the List. Known for leaving a string of broken hearted men in her wake with little more than a cheek kiss-stained in signature red lipstick

Lexa and Clarke though?

Lexa and Clarke are two friends who have been deeply in love and committed to each other for the better part of 5 years.

They love each other in secret because that's what they feel like they have to do. They have two seperate houses with two separate addresses, and only one bed they actually sleep in.

It only really burns on the big nights, which I think would be an interesting oneshot. Just a glimpse into their life and what it feels like in that moment. The night when all their work and their sacrifices are being honored. Because even though, yes, they do play the part of friends and manage to sit near each other, it's not the same. It's not the same when they can't get ready together or even show up in the same car. When they have to remind themselves not to lean into each other too often, or even reach for the others hand to calm their nerves.

When one wins, they walk up alone without a hug or kiss from the only person who actually matters. They thank their families and their friends and their management that they can barely stand half the time, and remind themselves to smile like it's the happiest moment of their life even though at least half it all feels like a lie. Because yeah, they get lonely in the months when projects and shooting schedules pull them to opposite sides of the globe... but somehow those months never feel quite as lonely as being in a room filled with people who act like they adore you, while the love of your life sits quietly with her own "date" half an aisle away

[eurydicees]

in need of fanfic/book recs from ya <3

ooooooh okay idk what genre of book or fandom/ship fic you want so here are my general recent favorites! i'm not gonna give a summary, just a small note/review with my thoughts, so ur gonna have to google the books and click the ao3 links--my apologies but this post was getting way too long lmfao

real life books!

gideon the ninth / the locked tomb series by tamsyn muir: i'm really working my way through this series and i loooooove it. the characters make me crazy and every turn in the plot has me screaming a little. there's been a lot of deranged texts to irls about this one.

under the whispering door by t.j. klune: this book DID make me cry. it's a really well woven story about love for your family and your friends and death and finding satisfaction and fulfillment in life (and death) and moving forward. HIGHLY recommend his other book (the house on the cerulean sea) as well!! i read that one first and it's a really gorgeous, satsifying read.

the shell collector by anthony doerr: this is a short story collection technically but i loooooove it. each story individually is really beautifully done and i absolutely LOVE his writing style. i think i take a lot of inspiration from him for my own writing!

on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong: top books that, like, make yourself feel seen. another author/poet that i feel i can attribute a lot of inspiration for my style and love of words to in general.

sharks in the rivers by ada limón: poetry collection! but one of my all time favorite poetry collections and i can't let this go unnamed. i absolutely ADORE ada limón (you may know her from "the great blue heron of dunbar road" or "instructions on not giving up", which floats around tumblr pretty regularly). i think i first read this collection for class but it genuinely changed something in me. i actually have a tattoo based on these poems <3

post-colonial love poem by natalie diaz: another poetry collection but this one, like, fucked me up. it's woven together as a collection in an absolutely breathtaking way, but each poem also stands alone really beautifully.

fics - haikyuu!!

a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam by swampdragons (iwaoi, 6911 words): i read this a bit ago and really loved it, though it was also really emotionally difficult for me to personally get through--one of those fics that really drives the emotions home so deeply that it hurts to keep going. part of that might just be my own personal connection to the topic. idk. but either way it's ABSOLUTELY worth it.

The Benefits of Patience by Moami (iwaoi, 3363 words): this one's silly and funny and so much more lighthearted than the prev rec lmfao. it's like. healthy but messy but established but not established but a real relationship but an almost relationship to be iwaoi <3333

The Way He Looks At You by roobtheboob (iwaoi, 3805 words): i think i read too much iwaoi. but this one's really cute i PROMISE. i like the kyoutani POV idea a lot and i think the way kyoutani is written overall is really well done, particularly in the team dynamic and his respect for iwaizumi.

The years shall run like rabbits by ladyoflalaland (ushiten, 7292 words): obsessed w this fic. ushijima's mother is written out to be a REALLY interesting character and her strained relationship with ushijima is fascinating. the passage of time of it all......man.

fics - other fandoms

"Normal" by OnigiriCat4Ever (fruits basket, kyohru, 7140 words): this one's a really cute post-canon character study of sorts and i really love it. i love how the 7yo hajime is written and his relationship with kyo is really sweet.

The act of loving in return by kindokja (bllk, ryusae, 2809 words): this one's both funny and heartwrenching and sweet and painful all at once. beautiful, necessary mix in a fic. i like it a lot.

turn your face (towards the sun) by youareoldfatherwilliam (atla, gen, 5813 words): im normal about fics abt the chit sang and the 41st, in case u were curious!

that's all i got for now? i literally just went through my most recent bookmarks and cherry picked some special highlights lol. feel free to let me know if you want anything more specific!!!!! u already know i loooooove giving recommendations<3

[riddlerosehearts]

...well. i finished my first playthrough of baldur's gate 3. over the last several days i did the fight against gortash, the final battle against the netherbrain, the ending scenes at the docks, and the epilogue party. in this post i'll just write about everything up until the ending cutscenes start, and then make another post tomorrow because i have many thoughts and i don't want to make this be insanely long. not that it matters since i've basically just been making these posts for myself the entire time, but ANYWAY

love the fact that i was able to cast otto's irresistible dance on gortash during the very first turn and keep him boogeying for a bit before he managed to break out of it. using it on someone like him is just hilarious. this battle was surprisingly really easy, though? like with both otto's irresistible dance and hold person available, gortash barely got to do anything and there were only a couple other enemies who were incredibly easy to defeat. the grenade launchers were more annoying than anything else. kind of underwhelming but considering how difficult some of the other act 3 fights have been, and how close i now am to the end, i'm not complaining!

i'm so sad about karlach oh my god. she hasn't even been a favorite of mine, i mean, i like her a lot, she's always a delight to talk to, but she's not the type of character i get as easily attached to and i haven't used her on my team that much overall. and yet her voice acting was so full of emotion and her dialogue so heartwrenching that she made me wanna cry. gortash is dead and it should feel like this big victory but for her it isn't, because it doesn't change anything about what's happened or what's going to happen to her... elenion tried to joke around and call gortash ugly and karlach said she was too tired to laugh. they told her they think she should keep living as long as she can and she said "you do it, i'm tired". she's tried so hard to seem positive and hide her loneliness but now she's so caught up in her grief and anger that she's just tired of it all. "i want to live" plays in the background of the scene. she ends things by saying "love you" even if you're not romancing her. god i want to hug her so bad :( going to use the hugs mod i have installed to do that after talking to her back at camp.

talking to everyone around the camp, lae'zel is so encouraging in her own way and even astarion says there's no justice in the world because of what's happening to karlach... for some reason, it was this bit of dialogue with jaheira that made me actually tear up a little:

like i guess it's just the fact that jaheira is this legendary hero that karlach looks up to and was so excited to meet, and here she is saying she doesn't know what else she can do to help karlach. it's so unfair what the fuck!!

had to screenshot this dialogue from wyll in the astral plane because i love him:

the emperor is an interesting character, and i can honestly understand why some people, and some tavs, might trust him and want to ally with him. but elenion is very untrusting by nature, and sure, he's grown a lot and learned to put more trust in his allies--but the emperor as the dream guardian just constantly made him feel confused and uncertain and then once he was finally willing to fully trust them, he found out that he was being lied to after all. and then the emperor kept withholding information from him, and trying to convince him that he should become an illithid. so no, he is not allying with the emperor!! although orpheus's attitude is not exactly winning me over lmao, for one thing we did not STEAL the githyanki egg!!

WOAH the baby owlbear grew up?! big armored owlbear?! was not expecting that! also, huh, zevlor is here too... i don't think the gather your allies quest ever mentions him in the quest journal so i didn't realize he'd show back up. maybe it's just me, but i kind of wish there was more resolution to his story. i looked up whether he ever reappears after you rescue him in act 2 and found that he doesn't, and he doesn't even have a voiced line of dialogue at high hall, which really sticks out and seems weird because everyone else does except for him and volo?? the gondians also aren't here even though the quest journal does mention them... i think i got pretty much every not-evil ally, though! except for mol, i guess.

i callled pretty much every ally during the big battles in the courtyard because i wanted to see what they could do! and then i only called a few during the actual final battle because i was afraid that certain characters like zevlor or the owlbear might permadie. but it's so cool being able to call on everyone who you've helped throughout the game, as it really helps these last battles feel more epic and exciting. though it also makes me wonder what the rest of my party who isn't here in high hall is doing... like, okay, so jaheira and halsin were not in my party and they still showed up to give their aid. but what about minsc and boo? what about shadowheart, astarion, and karlach?? are they all just chilling out at camp while the rest of us fight?? it just feels odd that they don't show up here at all.

i accidentally got party wiped while trying to reach the netherbrain because i couldn't figure out where i was actually supposed to be going and messed up... please, if i ever have to be part of a band of heroes rising up to stop a world-ending threat, do not make me the leader. my nonexistent sense of direction will literally doom us all. the second attempt was really easy once i figured out what i was doing LMAO but i did also have to restart the final battle because... i had no idea how the thing with the netherbrain destroying the platforms worked and my party all died at once the first time. it's my first playthrough and i knew nothing about this whole part of the game, so of course there was going to be some trial and error. i had a lot of fun with all of that, though!!

and now we get to the ending cutscenes... which i will be posting about separately later. for now i'll just say i love this game and i can't believe i've hit the end of it. i started playing in march what the fuck.

[love-strawberry]

met you at the right time

summary : in which they break up but find their way back to each other.

pairing : harry styles x reader

warnings : language

author's note : hiiiiii!! omg i missed on writing here, im so sorry for going mia but im back!! requests are open and so is my inbox, go crazy. i love you all, thank you for sticking around. also, this fic is inspired by feels like by gracie abrams

tagged : @slut4benbarnes @ellora-brekker @0oolookitsme @ateliefloresdaprimavera

masterlist

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liked by tchalamet, taylorswift, chrisevans and 4,719,714 others

y/n_ 'in the morning i'll be better' out now!! for the past 11 months, i've put my EVERYTHING in this album and to see it releasing is a dream come true. hope you all like this album <3 thank you so much for supporting me, i love you all endlessly!!

105,829 comments

username this hurt

username "i play pretend, try to act like i'm fine, look the other way, so you don't see me cry, i'm fine, look, it's alright" ouch-

username "cause even when im drunk you're the one i'd call, 2:30 in the morning and you seemed like home" hurts my soul

arianagrande AHHHHHH

username "cause what if i don't wanna lose you, what if missed it and now it's over"

username her and harry </3

username she went from "writing our names on the walls, said forever and that stayed true" to "now im scratching our initials trying to make sense of what happened"

selenagomez !!!!!

username "cause now you got some inside jokes with the others and im still replaying your laugh in my mind, i do mind, yeah im not fine"

username my head hurts thinking about her and harry

username i wanna scream and ugly cry now i miss harry and y/n so fucking much like why did they have to break up

louist91 so beautiful love!!! loved it so much <3

niallhoran 🦋🦋🦋

username I KNOW WE NEVER LABELLED IT BUT I'D LIKE TO THINK YOU WERE IT FOR ME, MY FOREVER, MY HEART AND SOUL, MY LOVER FORLORN

conangray brb gonna go and scream into my pillow, bang my head into the wall and ugly cry </3

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liked by billieeilish, jefezoff, mitchrowland and 4,529,951 others

harrystyles 'same group of friends' out now. i hope you all love it as much i did. thank you so much for you support, i love you x

175,528 comments

username ouch

username "cause we got the same group of friends, they keep quiet and try not to strike a nerve when it comes to you and i"

username 😭

jefezoff loving this so much

username im thoroughly convinced that harry and y/n are out to kill us with sadness with these songs

username "can't we just be friends like we were before, or did we just start it for it to come back and ruin us all, guess it's the problem in dating someone you already know"

username my (yourshipname) </3

username please please please PLEASE get back together, my mental health is at sake

louist91 heartwrenching song mate!! loved it

username the chorus>>

username i listened to this song and my soul ascended to heaven

niallhoran amazing beautiful brilliant awesome

username 😭😭

username it's okay, didn't need my heart anyway

mitchrowland in awe of you

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liked by harolddddstylez, y/nheartsharry, (yourshipname)_ and 268,725 others

celebri.tea harry styles and y/n y/l/n broke hearts of millions after announcing their breakup 5 months ago. their publicity team claimed that "it wasn't the right time", "right person, wrong time" and "they weren't seeing a lot of eachother". though, styles and y/l/n have sparked rumours after being spotted together in london, sharing a kiss after styles' show. sources close to them said that "they both sat down and tried to make it work. and it is working, clearly." to read the full article, click here.

68,827 comments

username YESSS

username if they're back together, im gonna cry

username okay so we go heartbreak album from y/n and a heartbreaking song from harry AND they're apparently back together?? harry and y/n won fr

username screaming crying throwing up sliding down the wall banging my head

username brb gonna scream

username JEHXJANXHNSKSMSHXMKAKAJS

username THE IT COUPLE YESS

username so glad that they tried to make things work out

username im sorry for the person i'll become when they announce their relationship

username i bet they're gonna look back at their heartbreak songs and laugh lmfao

username yes yes yes yes yes yes yES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

username thank fuck

username really hoping this is true

username 😭😭

username everyone, we might be getting them back

username i felt like a child of divorce

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liked by harrystyles, tchalamet, oliviarodrigo and 4,325,824 others

y/n_ met you at the right time

tagged harrystyles

196,528 comments

username no amount of preparation could've prepared for the 2nd pic

username HSISJXNSKXHDHSJKXKSKDJDNDJCKS

username yeah, my cat needs to hear this

niallhoran thank god 🤍🦋

username 😭😭

username my parents

username y'all still paying for the damage you caused with your music

arianagrande love love love loveeeeeeee you both

zendaya FUCKING FINALLY YES

zayn thank you, khai didn't wanna spend christmas with auntie y/n and new year's day with uncle harry

username their friends being relieved is a mood

harrystyles i'm gonna spend every lifetime making it the right time for us <3 i love you

-> y/n_ i love you more than i'll EVER be able to convey

username WHEN?? IS?? IT?? MY?? TURN??

username 🤍👄����

username 🦋🦋🦋

selenagomez so happy for you 🤍🦋

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liked by y/n_, tchalamet, mitchrowland and 4,629,925 others

harrystyles this is what it feels like

tagged y/n_

189,628 comments

username HSJDIXJSMXLSMJZ

username THEM>>>

username they're so beautiful

username bi panic

mitchrowland yesssss

tchalamet good, maybe now she'll stop calling me at night to cry about how she missed you

-> y/n_ you're on thin fucking ice timothee

username full on sobbing

username FUCK YESSSS YESSSS

username ❣️❣️❣️

username they invented being in love

y/n_ it feels Iike heaven

-> harrystyles loving you does feel like heaven

username imagine someone loving you the way harry loves y/n, oh right, you CAN'T

username forever gonna be in awe of you

billieeilish my fav couple 🤍

username they're soulmates

username yes officer, these two right here

username !!!!

niallhoran 💟

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[snellyfish]

!!! what are your drdt ch2 ep7 thoughts 👀👀👀???????

... :(

does my suffering bemuse you, anon?

DRDT ch2 ep7 spoilers.......

MAKES ME SO FREAKING MAAAAAADDDDD it is absolutely fucking devastating and heartwrenching which is like,,, good? because that's the point, but, MAN,, I so badly wanted to see how Arei's dynamic with everyone changed (if externally at all) after her breakdown and David's kind words for her. But with all of that in consideration as well as the way she was acting before her body was found, I wouldn't be surprised if she committed suicide, honestly ...... :')) life could be nightmare

Not 100% set on that yet but, yeahh, until we see if there is any evidence around, such as a struggle (which i immediately looked for LOL), I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. WHICH IS SO UNFORTUNATE AAUGHHGG I LOVED HER SO MUCH IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!! Also honestly the whole time looking at her corpse I was rapidly flashing between "damn is this cgi or something this is super pretty looking" vs "im gonna jump out a freaking window" simultaneously

....................................UM UMM TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT ELSE HAPPENED

I fucking love Veronika and for her ENTIRE scene I was just like :D :D :D and every time Teruko spoke i was like D: D: D: I cannot stand her ass still, sorry. anyway VERONIKA 4LYFERS I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE CAN DO NO WRONG!!!! Was kinda confused on her whole "plan" thing and how long she droned on about it when it was like,,, very obviously not,,,,,, plausible,, So i wonder what's up with that. hmmhmmhm.

Was also pretty distracted this episode due to random DND brainrot lol so I might rewatch or skim through later, sure I'm forgetting a lot right now 🙏🙏

A little disappointed with how Little focus there was on Ace (shoutout to his neck bandages) or Nico, but I also kind of like that because its like.....well?? now someone literally just died so no one has ANY time to attempt to think about their problems LMAO. Annoying this Ace/Levi/Nico debacle will continue into chapter 3, though, assuming one of them isn't the blackened in this case. Looking at you, Ace. Love you babe but you are UNWELL and OFF YOUR ROCKER. Actually, all three of you are unwell.

But yeah, pre-investigation, my immediate suspects are Arei, Ace, Nico, and maybe Levi.

[datfearlessfangirl]

For 001: The Owl House

For 002: Rayllum

For 003: Claudia

(Feel free to do however many you want! You don't have to do them all!)

See, I know I didn't have to do them all but I wanted to so...

001

Favorite character: Luz!

Least Favorite Character: Close tie between Odalia and Belos

5 Favorite Ships: Lumity, Raeda, and Vinira. I'm not really interested in any other ships, at least in terms of seeking out content for them.

Character I Find Most Attractive: Eda

Character I Would Marry: Probably Eda? Although I would feel bad because of how much I ship raeda lol

Character I Would Be Best Friends With: Either Luz or Gus! Or probably both. They're both similar to how I acted around their age so I feel like I would connect with them pretty well

A Random Thought: I wish we had more of the show for a multitude of reasons, but one minor reason I wish Disney hadn't canceled it is that we see so little of Camila because of it

Unpopular Opinion: I kind of (read: a lot) hate the beta designs? LIke, I would have loved to see an edgier show, but the beta designs just don't do it for me.

My Canon OTP: Lumity

My Non-Canon OTP: Vinira

Most Badass Character: Oooh either Willow or Eda

Most Epic Villain: The Collector

Pairing I Am Not a Fan Of: Huntlow, but I respect if you ship it. It's none of my business

Characters I feel The Writers Screwed Up: Hoo boy. Willow, Gus, Vee (not really because I blame the writers, just because I feel like we barely get to see her after Yesterday's Lie and I know full well that's because of Disney), Bat Queen (similar situation with Vee, except we got a lot of set-up and now barely any time for satisfying pay-off)

Favorite Friendship: Gus and Hunter! They are so precious, best brOTP of the show imho

Character I Most Identify With: Listen, there's a reason Luz is my favorite character

Character I Wish I Could Be: Lilith

002

When I Started Shipping Them: After season 3! I was indifferent toward the ship up until that point but they were very cute in the third season that I couldn't help but hop on the rayllum train

My Thoughts: PAIN. Just. Pain. I genuinely worry for the people who haven't read Through The Moon and are just jumping into season 4 with no context because holy fuck I am not ready to see Callum be a heartbroken mess even with context so I cannot imagine. Other than that though? I'm so soft for them. That and the fact that they may be a heterosexual couple, but that sure as hell doesn't mean they're straight.

What Makes Me Happy About Them: The growth! And the fact that, before being boyfriend and girlfriend, they are best friends. They respect each other so much and that just. Agh. I love them

What Makes Me Sad About Them: The raeda vibes sldkfjslkdf. Ok to clarify, it's the fact that, much like Raine and Eda, they are willing to go to great lengths to keep each other safe. Unfortunately for the both of them, that means making some of the most heartwrenching decisions, with Callum launching himself off the storm spire to save Rayla, and Rayla leaving in the middle of the night to keep Callum safe from Viren.

Things Done In Fanfic That Annoys Me: Admittedly, I haven't read much fanfic for the fandom since season three, so I can't nitpick much here lol

Things I Look For In Fanfic: Mostly just fluff because lord knows there's enough angst with these two already

My Wishlist: I'm assuming this is for what I want in to happen in canon so 1) them having a relatively happy reunion with minimal angst (asking for a lot, I know sdkfdskfj) and 2) a little look into how they work through the years apart and where the relationship goes from there

Who I'd Be Comfortable Them Ending Up With (If Not Each Other): Hmmm, Rayla and Claudia wouldn't be too bad. As for Callum, idk? I feel like, if they broke up, I'd want Callum to learn that it isn't the end of the world and that he can find love with someone else if he wants it or, as my aromantic ass would really want, him to learn that he can be fine on his own, nor romance required.

My Happily Ever After For Them: Them having a moment away for war and diplomacy, either living in Katolis or Xadia, just being able to live. Not really settle down, but rest.

003

How I Feel About This Character: Please someone get her therapy her abandonment issues make me cry harder than how I feel about any other character. She has been manipulated to hell and back by Viren, forced to take more responsibility than she could from her mother, and feels betrayed by her brother. Someone give her a hug and please let it be me so I can tell her it's all ok.

Any People I Ship With This Character: Rayla, kind of. I didn't say this is the rayllum stuff because I wanted to focus on Callum and Rayla, but it would take a lot of growth from Claudia's end before I shipped them in canon. I love raydia au's tho so if you have any good recs for those I would love to see them!

One Thing I Wish Would Happen With This Character: Redemption, or at the very least, her going against Viren in some way. She's been through enough please god I want this to happen.

Favorite Friendship For This Character: Her relationship with Soren pre-season 3. As much as I kept yelling at the screen "no! no! don't listen to your father like that!" I also found their dynamic really endearing.

My crossover ship: Don't really have one

[sinsbymanka]

Hello!! It is @rare-egg-hunt month which means we are officially celebrating all our Solas rare pairs!

If you're following this blog you may be somewhat aware I've been "painting" my eggs all through March. Starting next Monday I'm going to be pushing out a multichaptered story built around 12 of the prompts from the Rare Egg Hunt. It's called Cheating the Dread Wolf and will focus on the post-Trespasser love story of Maria Cadash, Solas, and Varric Tethras.

Maria Cadash hung up the Inquisitor's mantle for the Viscountess' crown, but she's unable to stop her desperate and impossible struggle to stop Fen'Harel from destroying the world both her husband and daughter inhabit. The fact Varric, Maria, and Solas are all madly in love with each other just means she may have enough of an edge to win this game.

In other words, everyone is poly and happy but first there's some shit they've gotta go through. I promise there will be angst, fluff, smut, dad Varric, dad Solas, and mama Cadash. Plus an absolutely ADORABLE baby as a treat.

I also have a playlist to go with it! Here's a list of all my songs and why I've picked them as a sneak peek!

Things That Stop You Dreaming by Passenger

If you can't be what you want You learn to be the things you're not If you can't get what you need You learn to need the things that stop you dreaming Oh the things that stop you dreaming

The PINING at the beginning of this story is outrageous. It is honestly a sequel to two fics, the first of which was written by the lovely @blarfkey who inspired, enable, and beta'd this entire project. (seriously. It would never have happened without her and I owe her so much for the idea and the love she's poured into it alongside me).

The two fics can be found in the series Three Liars Mend Broken Hearts on AO3. It shows the way Solas and Maria can't seem to stay away from each other and the ill advised sexy times that happens as a result (yes these are both smut with plot and feelings). So by the time we start Cheating the Dread Wolf they've already acted on their feelings even though they shouldn't and they're all a bit of a mess.

Rest of the playlist below!

Never Really Over by Katy Perry 

Two years, and just like that, my head still takes me back Thought it was done, but I guess it's never really over Oh, we were such a mess, but wasn't it the best? Thought it was done, but I guess it's never really over

I revisit the theme of not being able to let go and move on a lot in this story - in both good and bad ways. Varric, in particular, is completely unwilling to give up on Solas no matter what. Solas is unable to let go of his past. Maria can’t let go of her distrust. It’s all a mess.

Power Over Me by Dermot Kennedy

So we hide away and never tell You decide, if darkness knows you well That lesson of love, all that it was I need you to see You got that power over me

This is such a good smut song. I will live and die on this hill. It’s on my smut playlist too. ANYWAY. This is a good song for Maria and Solas. Also. Smut. 

That Man by Caro Emerald

Ooh that man is like a flame And ooh that man plays me like a game My only sin is I can't win Ooh I wanna love that man

This is a recommendation from @blarfkey and is the quintessential Varric romance song. I picked this one for a very specific chapter where Varric in effect tricks Solas into a tea party with him and Varric and Maria’s daughter. 

Hold My Girl by George Ezra

I've got time, I've got love Got confidence you'll rise above Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl

This is actually for a chapter that mostly focuses on parenthood and how it brings our trio together. It’s very angsty and heartwrenching and I love it so much. 

You are the Reason by Calum Scott

I don't wanna hide no more I don't wanna cry no more Come back I need you to hold me (You are the reason) Be a little closer now Just a little closer now Come a little closer I need you to hold me tonight

This is THE OT3 song and the unofficial theme song of this fucking fic. I have listened to it on repeat more than anything else on this playlist. 

Me and the Devil by the Fratellis

Tell one last beautiful lie for me Make all your promises rhyme for me Keep me in line but do it honestly Make it real, make it slow, stay alive for me Come on, babe where the line goes dead I'll be fire, I'll be rain, I'll be joy, I'll be dread Come on, baby don't be shy All I want is you and I Out on the street I'll be every face There'll be no man alive That can take my place

This song just gives me Solas related chills. I cannot with it. These two verses in particular scream Varric, Solas, and Maria. This is also on the playlist at approximately the part of the story where shit starts going down. Also another @blarfkey recommendation. 

Move by Saint Motel

This girl, this beautiful girl, with eyes the size of the o-o-ocean. This man, this dutiful man, he's got these mixed up emo-o-o-tions. I want it, can't have it. Oh I can hardly stand it. Oh what's a man to do... Gotta get up, I gotta get up. Move!

A recent addition to this playlist thanks to @paisleybees who sent this to me as I was writing a chapter that fit it PERFECTLY. I actually picture it as a Varric/Solas song for this work. 

Monster by Paramore

I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world From turning into a monster and eating us alive Don't you ever wonder how we survive? Well now that you’re gone, the world is ours

Another “shit is getting real” song and another @blarfkey recommendation. This is a McFighterson Cadash song for sure. It’s also what I picture for the sole action sequence in this fic. 

Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars

You only know what I want you to I know everything you don't want me to Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine You think your dreams are the same as mine Oh I don't love you but I always will

Enemies and Lovers. Enemies and lovers. Need I say more?! This is SUCH a good song for that trope!

Silence by Marshmello (featuring Khalid) 

I found peace in your violence Can't tell me there's no point in trying I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long I found peace in your violence Can't tell me there's no point in trying I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

Circling back around to themes of letting go and holding on. This kind of starts the happy ending bit of this work (YES I SWEAR THERE’S A HAPPY ENDING). 

This Year’s Love by David Gray

This year's love had better last 'Cause who's to worry if our hearts get torn When that hurt gets thrown Don't ya know this life goes on? Won't ya kiss me on that midnight street? Sweep me off my feet Singing, "ain't this life so sweet?"

HAPPY ENDING. A bittersweet but ultimately hopeful one <3 

Glitter and Gold by Barns Courtney

Do you walk in the valley of kings? Do you walk in the shadow of men Who sold their lives to a dream? Do you ponder the manner of things In the dark? The dark, the dark, the dark I am flesh and I am bone Arise, ting ting, like glitter and gold I've got fire in my soul Rise up, ting ting, like glitter

This is for the epilogue. It’s called the Dread Wolf Cub Rises and I refuse to give any other details. 

BONUS

Problem by Natalia Kills 

I'm your dream girl This is real love But you know what they say about me... That girl is a problem Girl is a problem Girl is a problem problem

Bea Cadash shows up a lot in this fic with her background sweet angel boyfriend Cole. There’s been a couple times where I need to write Bea and this is just the perfect song to capture her goddamn attitude. 

Anyway! Happy egg hunting!

[kalinara]

It does occur to me that episode 5 of the Witcher is possibly my favorite in terms of interpersonal dynamics.  Specifically for Yennefer and Geralt.

It’s always tricky when we’re dealing with a limited series, with one episode per short story (and not even the full episode, really), to establish strong relationships of the sort that tie the narrative together.  This is especially the case for Yen and Geralt, since its their relationship and its push and pull that’s so very important in the novels and the games.  (Even if you go the other romantic path, it’s still incredibly significant.)

But overall, I think that episode 5 (and episode 6 after that) do a surprisingly good job with the set up.

A lot of the relationship dynamic between Yennefer and Geralt is set up with what came before.  I joked about how the juxtaposition of Geralt’s interest at Calanthe’s torture threat and Yen’s “I *inflict* pain” are the show’s unsubtle way of showing how compatible they are.  But honestly, it’s kind of true.  If you look at the relationships set up at the very beginning: Geralt and Renfri, Yennefer and Istredd, we start to see how the two can fit together.  Yennefer doesn’t play at being anything other than she is.  Geralt (with one exception) doesn’t judge her ambition or lust for power.

I think for people looking for a conventional romance, episode five might seem more than a little lacking.  But Yennefer and Geralt aren’t really a conventional romance.  They’re a kinky romance.  Their initial give and take is more about the exchange of power than it is sweet words and candlelight.

The moment they meet, in the middle of the orgy, the power dynamics are already visibly in play.  He’s out of armor, disarmed, asking for help and bringing apple juice of all things.  She’s gowned and masked, domme chic, lounging in what might as well be a throne.  She’s standing above him as they meet and slowly descends as they speak.  She sets the terms, he accepts.

Then there’s the bath.  He’s naked, in plain sight, while she stalks around him appreciatively.  She lowers herself into the bath, but only after making him turn his back.  She shifts the mirror so he can’t see.  He doesn’t seem to mind that at all.

It gets really interesting though when he mocks her transformation: what was her flaw?  A clubbed foot?  Split ends?  That’s the moment that Yennefer freezes up.  And I don’t think it’s because she was offended.  I think it has to do with the way Yennefer sees her transformation.  Because Yennefer’s transformation was never really about fixing her physical flaws.  If you recall the beginning of episode 3, Yennefer’s big complaint was that she had no idea what her idealized self would look like.  She tells Istredd that he’s lucky: Ban Ard boys don’t have to go through the transformation at all.  She’s not ashamed of her disfigurements, nor should she be.  They may have made her a target for village bullies, but in Aretuza, they’ve never held her back.

Istredd accuses her of being angry that she missed her chance to be beautiful, but there’s no real indication that Yennefer was even thinking about that when she missed the ceremony.  She was still focused on the damage her ancestry reveal had done to her ambition.  She does choose to undergo the transformation, but as a weapon and a means for the power she wants.  It’s a mask, the same as she was wearing in the orgy.

What Geralt did in that moment was say “I see that you’re wearing a mask, and I don’t really care what you’re hiding.”  And that is where things shift. 

She immediately drops the idea of him prostituting himself for his friend’s life (something that he finds obviously disappointing.  Clearly he was enjoying the power exchange too) and goes for a more overt means of getting him out of the way.  But the sexual chemistry is still there and unspoken, and she can’t completely drop the domme act: see, for example, the way she dresses him.

So then we get mind control and an almost execution.  I don’t necessarily think Yen was trying to kill him there.  She probably assumed he’d escape before execution (I doubt she had any idea that the one guard really wanted to “play” with a Witcher.  And how fitting is it that we get those sexualized taunts in an episode that’s all kinky power exchange.).  Or that Jaskier would wish them both away.  Though Yen is also pretty focused on her own desires, so I’m not sure that she that she’d have felt that badly if he had died there.

But then he comes to save her.  And that’s where things get really interesting.  He offers her his wish, she can have whatever she actually wants if she just takes it.  But she refuses.  Her desire for a fertility cure has never really been about having a child.  It’s about being denied something she wants.  It doesn’t mean anything if someone else gives it to her.  And I think she especially doesn’t want HIM to be the one to give it to her.  Yennefer will always be dominant, damnit.

Then Geralt makes his wish.  We don’t know what his exact wording was, but I think we know Geralt well enough to know that whatever wish he made wouldn’t have involved Yennefer falling in love with him.  He’s as emphatic about choice as she is, in his own way.

But at that point their relationship has shifted again.  Yennefer realizes, at least subconsciously, that this is a man who has seen her at her most power hungry.  He saw her in the center of maelstrom screaming that she wanted everything.  Istredd may have loved her before she was beautiful, but he found her lust for power revolting.  Tissaia ridicules it.  But Geralt, who saw her at her worst, experienced her at her worst, doesn’t mind it.

In fact, he trusts her enough to fall asleep in her presence.  That’s got to be intoxicating for someone like Yen.

Geralt’s side of things is also interesting.  (And requires a bit of future knowledge to analyze.)  I think there are a few elements at work here: first, his desire to save self-destructive women is clearly what gets him back into that building after she puts him under mind control.  But I don’t think that’s the point where he truly became enthralled.

I think it was seeing Yennefer at her worst actually: it was seeing her power-lust and her ambition.  It was seeing how much she WANTS.

Because that’s the thing that stands out about season 1 Geralt: except maybe at the very beginning, he doesn’t seem to WANT much of anything.

Of course, he demands coin for service.  But he shies away from any kind of more substantial reward.  Especially if it feels like it’s undeserved.  The whole reason he got a Child Surprise is because he didn’t want a reward at all.  Duny had persisted and Geralt just said “fuck it, give me the next goat you have.”  Geralt’s a dumbass who doesn’t appreciate destiny’s sense of humor.  But he still tries like hell to refuse that gift.

He doesn’t seem to have much by way of long term physical possessions, besides that amulet.  He has Roach...possibly, assuming Roach isn’t a sequence of horses under the same name.  But with the way he talks to her, it’s clear that Roach (Roaches?) is a being to him, not a possession.

Geralt doesn’t seem to care about personal comfort.  He rejects gifts.  And the only thing we ever see him buy for himself is a night’s companionship with a sex worker.

And I think that’s not meant to be a positive thing.  It’s like Geralt says in episode 6, when Yennefer asks him if he ever wanted anything else besides being a Witcher.  And he says that if he had, it was too long ago to remember.

That’s heartwrenching in its own right.  Kaer Morhen did such a number on him that he literally can’t imagine anything other than being a Witcher.

But it’s also even more heartwrenching after episode 8, when we do get to see a Geralt who IS young enough to want something.  And we see at least some of what happened to him to change that.

And it’s sad-funny too, because early on Yennefer doesn’t believe that he went looking for a djinn just to get a good night’s sleep.  But I think we’ve seen enough of Geralt to believe just that.  That’s how broken he is, the closest thing he has to a “want” is sleep.

And then he meets Yennefer.  Who is indeed magnificent.  And she wants EVERYTHING.  She’s everything he doesn’t know how to be.

And when she refuses to accept his wish for herself, she forces him to make a wish.  And in that second, he does want.  He wants HER.  Not her love or companionship, obviously, or she’d never have been able to storm away from him in episode 6, but he still didn’t want to lose her.  

It’s not a healthy relationship by any means.  Not yet anyway.  (Maybe Jaskier can give them a pamphlet about safe BDSM practices and teach them about safewords?)  It’s not a traditionally romantic relationship at all.  But I find it absolutely compelling.

And hot.  I own my kinks.

[chikabika]

I wanna talk about Whole Cake Island too!

So, I’m reading Whole Cake Island right now. And I have THOUGHTS about Sanji and Luffy’s “”””fight””””. And it’s probably nothing anyone hasn’t said before but I’m gonna write it out anyway.

(TL;DR Sanji and Luffy fight and it hurts because they both go for the throat. Also Nami has been through this shit I am surprised she’s putting up with Sanji trying to leave in the slightest.)

So first, yeah, I’m screaming into a pillow because this shit is rough. Let’s get those personal emotions out of the way first. 

Sanji’s whole thing is that he cares and serves, right? His love language is acts of service and that’s primarily shown through feeding people. When we meet the Vinsmokes (I shall not be referring to them as his family) we see pretty quickly that they are the antithesis to everything Sanji is. 

The men are literally said to lack the ability to sympathize or empathize. Not only do we see this is the case, but Reiju says so herself:

They do not value cooking nor food. Judge tells Sanji to never cook again, Niji wastes food.

And, of course, the brothers have no qualms about hitting women. The whole chivalry/won’t hit a women thing is a huge can of worms I don’t feel like unpacking in part because I don’t feel like I could talk about it without discussing women’s power levels and roles in One Piece. And I’ve already digressed too much.

So yeah, the Vinsmokes are the opposite of Sanji and hold none of his values. In fact, they may be why he holds some of his values, because they are as far from the Vinsmoke’s values as possible.

Okay so the two chapters in particular when Luffy and Nami find and confront Sanji! 

Pretty immediately we see that 1. Sanji was not expecting them, 2. He’s distressed that they’re here, and 3. It complicates things for him.

Like, that is not a face of someone happy to see his friends who have come to save him. That is an “oh fuck” face. (And as a sidenote, yeah, it’s a whole lot harder to sacrifice yourself when you’re confronted with the people you’re leaving behind, HUH, SANJI????)

Luffy’s all happy to see him, feels like they’ve accomplished their goal, doesn’t question that Sanji would want to come back. And he’s got things to do! Like save Wano and beat up Kaido! Chop chop Sanji let’s go on adventures! Plus, I would think that Luffy would also have the expectation of his crew that they understand that no one gets to leave if they’re doing it to sacrifice themselves. He’s already shown he’s gonna come get you and Sanji knows this. Sanji’s first arc with them after Baratie was going to save Nami from Arlong and her self-sacrificial bullshit! Luffy’s modus operandi is saying “Oh, you thought you were in a lose-lose situation and the only solution was to sacrifice your happiness and well being? Fuck that! You’re my nakama, let me save you!”

Both Luffy and Nami aren’t questioning Sanji’s wanting to come with them. They’re here, it’s time to go!

And so then we see the surface level reasons why Sanji would say “No, I can’t go with you.” And we also see that he knows Judge is watching him.

I don't think Nami's buying it either. She's done this. She knows what it's like to be trapped by circumstances, to have your loved ones held hostage. And she did this shit too! She fuckin laid it down, lied to her nakama about it all being a farce in her efforts to keep them out of her dangerous situation! Maybe the words sting, but I think this face of hers is even more from her thinking about how they all know eachother so much more, and know how Luffy wouldn't leave one of them behind. So Sanji must be under some real duress right now. Like, I feel like she could extrapolate a lot from what he's saying because she knows that's not who he is. And because she's tried the same shit. And, I wonder if she’s hurting for him because she knows what it’s like.

Every chance she gets, she reiterates that there was nothing between them, that she doesn’t care about them, that she tricked them, and even uses her supposed killing of Usopp as support of her betraying them. She is desperately trying to get them off this island. Arlong is well covered, we all know what’s up.

And, the parallels are pretty clear for Sanji. He’s got family being held hostage (Zeff, and the Strawhats too), and he couldn’t leave anyway because he’s got explosion bracelets on. Plus he’s got his own self-sacrificial streak (which I could guess comes from being raised in a household where you’re told you don’t have any value and everything you do is wrong-the fact that Sanji still cried at Judge’s rejection of him right before his escape speaks to how as a child he still wanted Judge’s approval and love as a father).

So, he comes out swinging with the thing that we previously established would be the shittiest thing to say, that Luffy rejected the possibility of him saying.

And then he starts on this buckwild speech that is so fucking hammed up I almost questioned if Sanji meant for them to understand the opposite of his words, and was just putting on a show for the Vinsmokes.

Nami only says he’s going too far when Sanji starts insulting Luffy’s dream, which the whole crew believes in and supports. 

Also, as a side note, it doesn’t really make sense to me that Nami would just take on the role of “you’re going too far, you can’t believe what you’re saying!” Maybe Chopper would do that cuz he’s gullible and shit. BUT NAMI FREAKIN DID THE SAME SHIT. I would almost expect a “...” speechbubble from her and later her saying something like “He really tried his best to make that look convincing, didn’t he? He’s not very good at it.”

Nami’s savvy!

But anyway, yeah, Sanji tries to go for the throat to push thme away saying shit about Luffy not being able to become the Pirate King. My first reaction to this whole thing was: 

“WOW HE'S REALLY DOING IT, HUH? HE'S LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH TO SAY THE MOST HURTFUL SHIT HE CAN TO HIS LOVED ONES SO THEY'LL STAY AWAY SO HE CAN SACRIFICE HIMSELF TO STOP ANYONE FROM GETTING HURT”

Usopp has tried to leave too, but his situation was different. His reasons were stated clearly and he didn’t try to pretend that all the shit they’ve gone through together and the bonds they’ve formed were fake. Nami, Robin, Sanji? They try to do the “ah, I never loved you” bullshit. 

But Sanji’s is the first time that from the get-go, the audience knows before the confrontation everything that’s going on for the crewmember trying to fake betrayal. With Nami and Robin, we didn’t learn their backstories until after they tried to push people away. With Sanji not only did we get it beforehand, but when Luffy and Nami show up, we are shown the three pieces of information that Sanji thinks about and that motivate him to push his crewmates away:

His hands (his treasures) are bound and threatened.

His nakama are threatened.

Zeff is threatened.

He’s backed into a freakin corner! And he know’s Luffy’s track record on crew members trying to leave! So he goes for the throat and when that doesn’t work (or for the whole performance he’s putting on for the Vinsmokes) he attacks Luffy.

Luffy says he won’t fight Sanji, and I wonder if this is because of Water 7 and Usopp. That fight was so fucking painful, I wonder if Luffy vowed to never fight someone like that again?

Clearly he isn’t getting through to Sanji, even though, to him, Sanji should know what the deal is by now.

So he goes for the throat himself! Which is honestly just heartwrenching on Oda’s part and pretty unfair on Luffy’s part. Though, when has Luffy ever been fair lol. His whole crew agrees his selfishness levels are above emperor!

This page pretty much sums it up:

Also, throughout this entire encounter we get glimpses of Sanji thinking about the crew and meeting Luffy, which is cool to see his internal world somewhat.When Luffy first shows up. I mean. Look at the pain on his face.

This is not a “we have a difference in ideals and are fighting over it and I’m thinking about how we met because I regret that it’s come to this.” fight. It’s not even a fight. It’s Sanji desperately saying “Please leave before you die because of me!”

Actually, maybe it is kind of a fight of ideals because Sanji is fighting to say “leave me behind I’m not worth it” and Luffy’s saying “yes you are.”

For all the extremely clear things going on emotionally for people in this scene, I’m surprised Oda just left Nami’s responses at this. But, since he did, it means I get to interpret them how I please!

This could simply be read as her feeling betrayed and shit. But again, they all know the history of the crew. This could just as easily be her saying “You went too far.” or “I can’t believe you wouldn’t believe in Luffy enough to come back with us.”

I said she could probably guess at him feeling like he’s stuck, backed into a corner. And if I remember correctly she is aware that the Strawhat’s lives are threatened if Sanji doesn’t comply with Big Mom’s wishes. But she probably wouldn’t guess at the bracelets being bombs and doesn’t know (but might guess) at the Baratie being threatened too. Nami knows all about people who claim “family” as an excuse to hurt and bind you.

But basically, I would think for her, it would be a situation of her feeling like at this point Sanji should know Luffy well enough to know he won’t give up, and to trust Luffy enough to take Sanji home. So why the fuck would he try to play this game when they’ve all seen that it doesn’t work? Why say the most hurtful things he can think of? And why not just come home now?

I don’t think she’s angry at him for the betrayal he’s trying to act out, I think she’s angry at him for the betrayal he’s committing for not trusting the crew to get him out of there.

(Again, haven’t read past this part but I could absolutely see later Nami saying “do you think we acted hurt enough for them to buy it?”)

And then of course, the last four pages of the chapter where Luffy clearly calls bullshit on Sanji, saying Sanji felt the pain of his kicks more than Luffy did. And Sanji is just starting to fucking lose it. (panels from right to left)

Like, Luffy. Chill. It hurts so much! But no, he can’t just call Sanji out. He’s gotta go for the kill, present Sanji with an unacceptable situation he knows he can’t refuse. Or at least hopes he can’t refuse. Because for Luffy, Sanji leaving is an unacceptable situation.

Not only will he not eat (which, god, using that against Sanji is almost too much, fuck, Luffy), but he won’t even fucking move so get your ass back here soon before I starve, Sanji.

To use the two very deeply entrenched facts about these characters this way is sure something, huh?

Sanji will feed anyone who is hungry. He cannot stand hunger, almost.

Luffy eats all the damn time and lots and never refuses food. For him to say “i’m going on a hunger strike, I’m not eating until it’s from you” IS JUST SO MUCH.

Also side note god what cruel people to laugh at Sanji’s pain as Niji and Yonji are doing.

Sanji thought he could get away with thinking he’s expendable (just like Judge has said in every time period we’ve seen him on the page) Luffy flat out rejects that. Sanji is essential, an required part of the crew and a required part of Luffy’s dream. Just like the crew have adopted his dream as a part of all of their own ultimate goals, so Luffy is saying that they are all part of his ultimate goal. He has adopted them into him becoming the Pirate King.

And goddamn if this arc isn’t about found family. The blood of the covenant is thicker, don’t cha know.

[chenqingssuibian]

thanks for tagging me @xueyangs-pinky-finger !!!

rules: post your 2 favourite episodes of 3 of your favourite shows and tag 6 people!

ahh... alright then! I'm adding another rule - only shows I've finished!

the untamed, season 1, episode 14

does this surprise anyone? it shouldnt. this, if memory serves, is the episode of the xuanwu fight, making it Also the episode of this iconic line:

"Lan Zhan... do you like MianMian?"

oh, Wei Ying..... you're so fucking stupid.

the untamed, season 1, episode 44

there isn't really a reason. wen ning just looked Spectacular this episode. really. that's it.

cherry magic! season 1, episodes 1-12

i can't pick. cherry magic is so, so good, guys - it's impossible to pick a favorite episode!

my favorite moment, though, is probably a tie between when minato tells tsuge his feelings are mutual, and when kurosawa first confesses to adachi, reaches out to touch his face, and then drops his hand. that is a trope that always gets me. ahh, I want someone to reach out to me like that too!!!

second season wHEN-

iljimae, season 1, ~episode 8?

it has been two years since I watched iljimae (which is a classic kdrama, by the way, you Should watch it if you like lee joongi, who plays the lead) so I cannot remember which episode I liked best. however, I do remember my favorite moment!

I'll recap the plot up until the scene mentioned: iljimae whose real name I can't remember I'm so sorry baby boy was born into a noble family, but his father was framed for treason and executed. as the family of a traitor, iljimae and his family were to be sold or killed - it's implied, irrc, that iljimae, as a male, will be killed, while his sister and mother will be sold as slaves. thankfully, his life was saved by a lower-class family with connections to his father (which I won't get into here because spoilers, lmao.)

iljimae fell ill soon after his father's body was drawn and quartered (an event which... he saw. poor baby) and when he woke up, he had entirely forgotten his past. he grew up without the knowledge of his past, as a result.

shenanagins happen, and iljimae becomes, well, iljimae, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. he gets trained in martial arts, remembers his identity, and ends up finding out where his sister is! hurray! except... well. his sister is still a slave and the daughter of a traitor. I can't remember if she is framed or if she tries to escape, but either way, she is set for public execution. iljimae comes up with a plan to save her by sabotaging the rope, but the executioner changes the rope out at the last minute.

as iljimae watches from the crowd, his sister is hung. her neck snaps instantly.

morbid, right? why is this your favorite moment, you ask? well, I'll tell you - it's the acting. lee joongi is stellar, he always has been, and 2008's iljimae was no exception - the way his face twists as iljimae's sister dies, the anguish there... it was so heartwrenching. but he couldn't scream, because then he would be found out, so he's just standing there, shaking, staring at his sister's body. ahh, it was heartbreaking... I need to go rewatch it sometime.

honourable mention: black sails

this is another case of ly not being able to remember what episode her favorite moment is in. please forgive me. it is, however, in season two!

black sails, in case you don't know, is sort of a prequel to treasure island - it follows the pirates of the story, showing how they became the villains they became. in my favorite scene, captain flint, the mainest of main characters at this point, has watched the most important woman in his life, miranda, die, and is on trial for piracy. the man who ruined his life, an old friend, governor ashe, tells him to confess so that the execution may be private.

flint glares up at him, and in a speech that you really have to watch performed to get the impact, says basically this: "everyone is a monster to someone. if I am to be your monster, then so be it." (i cant remember the exact quote off the top of my head,,, oops)

this quote-this MOMENT, really-hits so fucking hard. you have no idea how hard it hits. go watch black fucking sails, y'all.

tagging: @bitterfrosts , @yiling , @goldencorecrunches, @lanzhanshands.... @treemaidengeek ! feel free to ignore, guys!

[oumakokichi]

since youve mentioned playing YTTD, do you have any ships for it, or just any bonds in the story you enjoy?

Hmm, YTTD is one of those stories where I’m more invested in the plot and the mysteries overall than in shipping, so I haven’t given it a lot of thought!

This isn’t really meta or anything of the sort, but I’m not sure how many of my followers are caught up with YTTD spoilers, so I’ll put this under a cut just in case!

I’d say the only real romantic ship I really got attached to was Nao/Reko—they had such a great dynamic overall, I loved nearly all of their interaction. The way that Reko made so much effort to help Nao recover from Mishima’s death, the way Nao realized that something felt subtly off about Reko in the first part of chapter 2, realizing that the Fake Reko was a different person from the Reko that she’d come to know for most of the game so far… all of the development between them was so good.

I’m pretty sad Nao is dead as of the end of chapter 2 and that there’s no real way to save her (other than getting a massive bad ending, not that I blame her for lying in the main game when that was really the only option she had). I wanted to see even more of her and Reko interacting, potentially even the two of them getting out alive, so Nao’s death felt a little like her development was getting cut short. She and Reko are still both fantastic characters though.

The only other romantic ship I’m tentatively invested in that I can think of off the top of my head is Ranmaru/Sara, because what we’ve seen of their interactions in chapter 3 so far is pretty great. I like that it’s so easy for Sara to get him flustered, and that he really seems to want to genuinely help her despite the twist about the dolls’ real role in the game that Midori set up. It’s also nice to see Sara getting to befriend someone completely outside the main group that she’s gotten to know for most of the game, and having someone who can help take some of the pressure off of her instead of leaving most of the responsibilities to her.

Obviously we’ll have to see how things turn out between them in the rest of the story, but all in all, it seems like a cute ship! I’m not quite as invested in it as I am Nao/Reko, but that’s mostly just because they haven’t had as much interaction. Depending on how long Ranmaru sticks around for chapter 3, it’s possible they’ll get even more great moments together.

As for non-romantic bonds in the story that I enjoy—I have quite a lot of those! I like how character-driven YTTD feels as a story, and the varying occupations and ages of the characters allows for a lot more focus on bonds like family, or mentorship. For example, Mishima isn’t around for a very long time, but we still have time to see how much he genuinely cares about Nao and wants to protect her and help her grow into the best person she can be. When he dies, it’s a pretty horrific and heartwrenching moment even that early on because we’ve seen firsthand what a good person he is, and how much Nao looks up to him.

One of my favorite non-romantic bonds that’s been shaping up so far is probably between Sara and Sou (as in Shin, not Midori). I definitely wouldn’t say I ship them, but the actual potential for friendship between them is so good. The two of them are also such well-written narrative foils of each other, with Sara constantly on the brink of collapse from trying to hold the group together while Sou is being eaten alive by his own paranoia and desperation pretty much 24/7.

Once we know more about Sou’s mindset, it’s so easy to see why he acts the way he does towards Sara—of course every gesture of good will she makes look suspicious and calculated, knowing that she’s not only got the highest rate of survival in the entire killing game but is also so undeniably important and central to why the game is even taking place at all. There are already a lot of implications that Sou has had a rough time in the past from trusting overly-friendly, charismatic people (like Midori), so his severe mistrust of Sara specifically makes a lot more sense in hindsight.

And at the same time, Sara herself is never any less sympathetic. She’s such a fantastic protagonist: we want to root for her precisely because of how desperately she’s trying to make things work in spite of everything falling apart around her. Her trauma, particularly from feeling so personally responsible for Joe’s death, lives alongside her and shapes her every bit as much as Sou’s paranoia does. It’s equally easy to understand why she wants Sou to stop fucking around in the main game and be their ally for once, and why she keeps reaching out to him in spite of how blatantly he mistrusts her.

I would really, really love for the two of them to genuinely become friends in the Sou route of chapter 3. It’s hard to tell if that’s really going to happen—Sou is nothing but resentful right now because of Kanna’s death, and clearly biding his time to get back at the rest of the group for “killing her.” But I really hope that is what happens in the end. Between Midori and the dolls presenting a much bigger threat, and the fact that we’re probably going to finally get some important revelations about Sara’s greater role in all of this soon, I think there’s a real chance for Sou to pull through and put aside his grudges while genuinely pitching in as an ally for once.

I also absolutely adore Reko and Alice’s sibling relationship—Alice in general is one of my favorite YTTD characters so it’s always really hard picking which one of them I want to survive. The fact that both of them so clearly wanted to put the past behind them and go back to being siblings, but never actually knew how to say so or how to interact with each other during the main events of the game is just so sad. I feel like the regrets they have with each other are very compelling, and I hope we get to at least see some more interaction between them in YTTS if nothing else.

Thank you for this question, anon! It was really fun to go through and think of which character dynamics I’ve been enjoying the most in YTTD so far!

[dragonwarriorgal]

Book corner 2 - The Start

Highlander Fever!

I’m sorry. 

So it begins one night when I was having a “craving” for a certain type of a book and there I stumbled upon Darkfever. The synopsis interested me, mainly because I am SO SICK OF VAMPIRE ROMANCE STORIES, THEY ARE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE I LOOK! I tried The Black Dagger Brotherhood but by god, I could not finish even the third of it

Anyway, back on track: So I found out my preferred “flavor” of such types of books were Fae lore/romance/story, basically anything to do with Fae. I found Darkfever to be interesting concept, though I admit it was hard to keep the interest when Mac was describing the horror or some feeling she felt of some object or person for THREE PARAGRAPHS until finally telling the reader what it ACTUALLY WAS she was seeing, and as I read the next book and the next I found that this was almost exactly like watching a TV show. I mean there is a HUGE story being told there with many beginning, middle and end that was in my opinion cleverly done. With even a good cliffhanger at almost each book to hook you in to reading the next one even though it was 11:30pm and you had work at 6:30am the next morning.

I felt like a drug addict. EVEN MY PARENTS CALLED OUT ON ME FOR NOT DOING ENOUGH CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE!

Anyway, in the end I love love loved it, sure it could be a little rocky at places and when it went into the “stuff” (couldn’t think of a clever innuendo)... I’ll let the gif do the talking

and after the binge read/watch of this amazing series came the emptiness and I did some digging around about the author because I didn’t want to get spoiled and to my surprise there was another series by this blond female author about this mysterious Adam Black and the Super interesting *cough*hot*cough* MacKeltar Druids.

So I jumped right into the first pool everyone warned me about was not that great of a temperature not until you get into the third or fourth pool...

...

Let me just lay this out in the open: I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT THIS WAS THE SAME PERSON WHO WROTE BEYOND THE HIGHLANDER MISTS AND THE FEVER SERIES!!!

BY GOD! I HAVEN’T SEEN THIS MANY CHARACTERS DO A FLIP SINCE THE FRIGGING OLYMPICS! 

It had it’s moments, confusing but nevertheless hot moments, but I knew I was in for a treat when I LAUGHED OUT LOUD FOR 5 MINUTES IN THE FUCKING THIRD PARAGRAPH. It was supposed to be serious, an innuendo for sure, but it was so cheesy I thought I would get a stomach ache or diarrhea at the end. To quote RDJ again

So instead of getting a good book/TV hybrid like her Fever series I got:

Two jealous Fae males dicking around dark and “long” haired, Braveheart Casanova in the 16th century by Outlandering a small, blond, virgin and a “beautiful-men-hating” woman from USA in the 21st century.

So I went to the next books synopsis and reviews and decided to skip 2&3, because IDGAF about 2 and I MIGHT go into 3rd, but we’ll see. 

But then the 4th is:

A small, blond and a virgin scientist from USA in the 21st century LITERALLY FALLS on a dark and “long” haired Highlander Druid from the 16th century in a coma and wakes him up. After realizing he really IS in the future, he must find a way to trust this wee lass he is falling hard for, to save the MacKeltar line in the 16th century by sending her back in time where he will lose his memories, and it is up to her to help him regain his memories by seducing the crap out of him. 

And the 5th:

A small, blond and a virgin antique expert from USA in the 21st century is trapped by the dark and “Long” haired twin brother of the previous book, because he is being possessed by 13 evil wizards for saving his brother’s life once using the time travel thingy from the Outlander series and together they must find a way through time travel paradoxes and the frigging Illuminati, but is saved by this mysterious (again might go into 3rd) Adam Black.

then the 6th(which I just finished):

Adam Black is being punished by the Faery Queen for his act in book 5 by being invisible in his favored glamour, a dark and “Long” haired Highlander blacksmith. A small, blond and a virgin, sidhe seer and a law student from USA in the 21st century happens to be the only one to see him and together they must find a way with the help of the MacKeltar Four to roll the events that lead into the Fever series.

....

Now there is a pattern here somewhere from this blond author, but I just can’t keep my finger on...

Now despite the fact that I am going to read the 7th book tomorrow, because it’s 11:30pm and I have work at 7am tomorrow. And despite the fact that I am starting to get sick and tired of the small blond American virgin falling in love with yet another dark and long haired Highlander and because English is my second language and I have a fucking hard time reading those accents and burrs and doona’s and whatnots. I freaking love reading about the MacKeltars! They were so interesting minor characters in the Fever series and there was CLEARLY a story about them that I was aching to read about. And when I found out that there actually is a whole series about them...

Despite the ABYSMAL rocky start, it has been a journey to see Karen’s writing bloom from an ugly, not well kept seed, into a heartwrenching flower. I look forward to reading Spell of the Highlander tomorrow after work and finish this series

[dahniwitchoflight]

Candy 12-14

Even Jake’s having his proverbial love triangle troubles

It’s clear he genuinely cares for both Jane and Dirk, but if he’s being honest with himself, the one he romantically loves would be Dirk, the one he would prefer to be with, who he’d choose if they were equal options, would be Dirk

But he’s also right that it’s not like Jane’s a bad choice either, sure it’s not his preference if he’s being honest, but he’s also not about to look the gift horse in the mouth if it falls right into his lap

13 is where we start start to see the unraveling happen I suppose though

Again, everyone is acting so drugged up in Candy

Jane and Jake getting literally inebriated and Dave acting like he’s going through Dirk withdrawal

Then Gamzee being the weird ugly poster child of both drugs and candy, honestly it really did make sense to shove him into this timeline in a weird and uncomfortable ham fisted way, it gets that “are you fucking high right now” feeling across really well

Gamzee really being the cloud cuckoolander here though

hold on let me un-gamzee-ify it just reading his text quirk makes me feel like im on drugs

Gamzee: you don’t got any need to go and concern yourself with his mortal flesh body out here in this candycane whirlpool beyond the infinite black wink of the wicked singularity, my ninja.

Gamzee: a sack of meat and bones in one life or the next is only a means to the final totality that will damn and raise us all in brilliant apotheosis.

Gamzee seems clearly meta aware of the situation he’s in which is interesting, This is indeed a candy swirled timeline hidden inside an infinite black hole singularity

the second line seems to be describing the meat timeline in a way though too

a sack of meat sounds worthless, but it is apparently only a means to a truer end, it has to happen for something else to happen

Essential, but irrelevant, again

funnily enough he’s also seems to be referencing gnostic concepts, not that i’m surprised really at this point

one sack of meat, or, one body in one life or the next

so reincarnation

is only a means to an end that both damns and raises a person into apotheosis, or their “zenith” their highest point

which, i mean, yeah, you live life again and again, differently each time, becoming closer to ascension, and ultimate consumation of every version of you is the basic tenet of the reincarnation gnosticisms

Also, a lot of text was put into describing Gamzee haphazardly crashing into things and setting off rube goldberg machines, which I guess sort of describes his escapades through Homestuck lol

“cinder block, crusty puppet, and Japanese sword in a tornado’s radius off balance and avalanching them catastrophically onto the hapless clown’s torso. “

So the Sword is Dirk (or AR) the crusty puppet is Caliborn (because Lil Cal) which I guess leaves the cinder block as Equius? He’s built like a brick shithouse? eh only problem sleuth stuff comes up so 2/3 ain’t bad

Speaking of Equius, oh look, A feminine half finished robot in Dirk’s basement

the uncomfortable Equius vibes ping once again though I don’t think this is robo-Aradia, but likely something meant to serve a similar purpose and almost DEFINITELY Rose related if reading meat wasn’t already obvious and if the skull for an inner head thing wasn’t immediately referring to the headaches Rose was known to have

though it’s also uncomfortably a symbol of her Doom

---14---

“A flip of the cosmic coin has rendered your entire life completely inessential.”

yup what did I just say, Meat is representing the essential bits of the story, candy is decidedly, not

hm, Dirk’s going to kill himself for the supposed greater good of his own making again

not unsurprising, but a guy like him always like to make an escape rather than give up, is he thinking death will unlock this part of his conciousness and send the memories back to the ultimate self? probably

“and one final act of relevance that can bequeath your meager energies to the cosmic well from whence they came.”

yup!

Though as much as he keeps saying none of this matters he did leave an explanatory note specifically for his friends to find, so there’s still something in him that cares

Don’t like how the bigger blacker text is basically instructing this version of Dirk to kill himself though, that again implies there’s part of Dirk that are subservient to other parts, so again it’s a question of if his ultimate self got tainted through the connecting pieces of Arquisprite > Lord English > Doc Scratch, then who’s actually pulling the strings in Dirk’s Ultimate Self and directing the behaviour of “Dirk” in general

Is it Dirk Strider? Or Doc Scratch? and does that even matter anymore since it’s all DS all the same anyway?

“In a certain sense, you’ve never felt so free.

> Kill yourself.”

That’s hilariously also a JailBreak reference, I think, but definitely played for the morbs instead of as a joke lol

https://www.homestuck.com/jailbreak/109

Literally this MC kills himself when his friend dies and he’s now alone in a vast cosmic emptiness and the text is:

“Yes! Finally! Free at last!

Though the victory is bitersweet. Your friend has died of blood loss.

This is no victory. The feeling is vast emptiness. You are no longer bound by bars or concrete, but you feel more incarcerated than ever. You come to the heartwrenching conclusion that the only true prison... is loneliness.

There is only one thing left to do.

> Continue”

and it just resets him back to the first panel but this time he makes choices differently

ironic that Dirk does literal the exact same thing but comes to exactly zero of the same conclusions

“Just as your epiphany occured at sunset, your death must occur at sunrise to complete the ouroboros of symbological harmonic resonance that is your personal arc. It is the very last moment of narratively consequential action that will happen in this whole, barren world.”

I wonder what about this death makes it so narratively significant? just because it passes along the knowledge of what not to do back to the Ultimate Self so he can avoid it? Probably nothing more than that

“but there really are no words that can adequately express the sound someone makes when they die. It’s a phenomenon that happens on two levels. First, there is the literal termination of organic processes, which is to say, the destruction of the meat. Then follows the dissolution of the ego. And you have quite the ego to dissolve, one that has flown so high above the forest that not only can it no longer see the trees, it cannot even conceive of the trees as material substance with objective meaning.”

funny it mentions a forest which is also where that happened in JailBreak

Basically describes how death in general works in Homestuck, the body dies but can leave a ghost/ego behind, but eventually that dissolves as well

Again though, making a compariosn between the Meat and the Body/Flesh and the Candy and the Spirit or Ghost

or another pun between Candy and Drugs if you take Spirit to mean alcoholic spirits

Candy seems ironically and symbolically the place where Breath Meets Void, no wonder John and Roxy hook up here lol

Does that make Meat then the place where Blood and Light meet? I have before put significance into the crossover of those symbolisms in Homestuck before, but couldn’t really conceptulize it as a solid symbolic thing and the Meat and epilogues in general did a really good job of conjoining them into the idea of the story what with the Narrative having importance but also Veins and the idea of Karkat as being reliable narrator etc etc

Meat’s as good a symbol as any for that I suppose

“ When you think so little of yourself as a moral character, any act of self-termination will result in a death that is Just. “

so this line seems to imply that Dirk’s death was permanent and Just here because he thought so little of his own moral character aka deep down he knew he was terrible person, amount of remorse felt over that not applicable, and because of that perception of his, the clock tick tocked over on to Just

Again reinforcing that the Clock is less of an ultimate moral judgment from down on high and much more like an influenceable moral compass, given form by the person affecting it at the moment

I actually kinda like the new spin on that it gives Vriska’s original just death, since that slow ticking of the clock was not just a decision, but a battle of wills between herself and Terezi, it could have easily gone either way depending on how each saw Vriska

neat!

[on-a-kiss-god-knows]

for the kiss meme: 3. bryzzo and 23. nolan arenado/troy tulowitzki ~ theloggedoutsaddestboner

hi @saddestboner​​

Oof, you know, I haven’t thought about Tulo in a Rockies context in ages, so this was fun and also heartwrenching. Both of these prompts are under the readmore and both are on ao3 also. (The Bryzzo one is super short and the other one is longer)

3. Drunk/sloppy kiss

Kris is pretty sure Anthony didn’t mean to get drunk, buthe is anyway. They’re sprawled on Kris’s couch after Kris had a few of theirteammates over for dinner and board games, and Anthony and a couple others broughtbeer (because they know Kris doesn’t keep any in his fridge), and everybodyforgot to cut Anthony off when they should have.

Kris doesn’t mind too much, though. A drunk Anthony Rizzois pretty much like any other Anthony Rizzo, only dialed up to eleven, and thenhe crashes and falls asleep, which is about where he’s at right now.

“M’sorry I got drunk,” Anthony says thickly. He’s on hisback on the couch, legs stretched out across Kris’s lap.

“It’s okay,” Kris says with a laugh. He grins at him andAnthony blinks sleepily.

“Hey,” Anthony says. “You got the most beautiful eyes,anybody ever tell you that?”

“Yeah, you,” Kris says. “Last time you had too much todrink.”

“Oh.”

Kris picks up the remote and switches on the TV. “Wannawatch something?”

“Anything but the Bachelor, Christ, Kris, you have terribletaste.”

Kris rolls his eyes and leaves the TV on a sci-fi movie hefinds. “Next time I get drunk, you pick the movie.”

“You don’t drink!” Anthony protests. “That’s bullshit!”

Kris smirks at him. “Brought it on yourself.”

Anthony shakes his head. “Stop being so fuckin’ pretty,Kris, you make it too damn hard to be mad at you.”

“Oh, right, I have control over that.”

Anthony sits up with minimal difficulty and throws an armaround Kris’s shoulders. “I love you,” he says, and presses his mouth againstKris’s shoulder. “You know that, right? I love you.”

Kris laughs. “I know.”

Anthony kisses him on the – well, it’s half his cheek andhalf on his mouth, and Kris laughs again and holds Anthony’s face still so hecan kiss him properly.

Anthony grins crookedly, and then buries his face in the crookof Kris’s neck. “Love you so much.”

Kris rubs his back, smiling. “I love you too.”  

23. Last kiss

July27, 2015

They say you shouldn’t act in anger because it leads to rashdecisions, but in this instance Troy thinks he’s entitled to a little anger.

A little anger that bubbles up inside him and overflowsuntil he’s shouted himself hoarse at Walt Weiss (who doesn’t deserve it) andJeff Bridich (who does).

Leaving isn’t his decision, but damn, he can choose to burnevery bridge he built here and leave the place ablaze if he wants to.

After he’s done, his throat burning, he goes back to thehotel ahead of the rest of the team, because he doesn’t need to watch them getwalked off, and he doesn’t need to see any of them, but what he does need to dois pack and go home. Home, then leave the country, apparently, since he’sexpected in Toronto tomorrow.

He stares at the open suitcase on the hotel bed and triesto grapple with the fact that his entire world has just turned upside down, andnothing is ever going to be the same again.

There’s a knock at his door, quiet at first, then it getsmore insistent until Troy makes his feet move across the carpet and his handlift to open the door.

It’s Nolan, which he expected, and the second the doorshuts Nolan throws himself at him, engulfs Troy in a hug, tight enough that it’salmost like Nolan thinks if he holds onto him enough he won’t have to leave.

Troy’s numb – his hands hang useless at his sides before hefinally lifts them to stroke Nolan’s back gently. “You aren’t supposed to knowyet.”

“Whatever.” Nolan’s voice is muffled, his face buried againstTroy’s shoulder. “I don’t know where, though. Where are they sending you?”

Troy heaves a sigh. “Toronto.”

“Jesus.” His hair is prickly against Troy’s neck; he’s inone of those phases where he keeps his hair buzzed rather than letting it growout, and Troy shifts uncomfortably. Nolan finally lets go of him and scrubs apalm over his eyes. “You’ll probably make the postseason, Tulo! You’ll have totell me what that’s like.”

Troy doesn’t want to have to get traded to be a contender.He wants to be a contender right where he is and bring a championship back toDenver. Troy wanted to play there forever and retire a Rockies legend likeHelton, but he should have known better.

Nolan glances around the room and his eyes land on thesuitcase on Troy’s bed. “Are you leaving tonight?” He fixes his glance back onTroy and there are hints of uncertainty and betrayal in his eyes.

As if any of this is Troy’s fault. “What did you think wasgoing to happen?”

“Uh.” Nolan lets out a nervous laugh. “Not this.”

“You knew before you came in here I was gone, what did youthink was going to happen?” Troy turns his back on him and goes back to hissuitcase. Everything he brought is already in it (he packed for Chicago, not Toronto)but he starts refolding socks so he doesn’t have to look at Nolan.

He hears Nolan pacing behind him. “What, you were going toleave without saying goodbye?”

Troy knows what they mean they say “blood boiling” inreference to anger now. The fire in his veins isn’t going to go out anytimesoon. And yes, if he could have gotten out of here without saying goodbye hewould have. Make it an easy break. He didn’t want this, but if it has to happen,maybe he can pretend Toronto is a do-over. He can go there and hit restart onhis life and his career.

He turns around to face Nolan again, whose shoulders areslumped and his dark eyes are all worried, but he’s looking at Troy like Troy’sgoing to say something to make it okay. Like, fix it, Tulo, please.

It makes him mad. Nolan can’t expect Troy to make thisbetter.

“I didn’t expect to see any of you before I left tonight. Theyhaven’t made the announcement yet,” Troy says sharply, and he wishes – he wishesNolan had just stayed away and let him hurt on his own tonight, because he’sgoing to say something he’ll regret.

“So you were just going to leave?” Nolan’s voice rises in pitch. “You were gonna, what – text metomorrow when you were already gone?”

Maybe not even tomorrow. Maybe a few days after he’s had achance to cool down.

Nolan shakes his head, looking at him in disbelief. “Notcool, man, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Nolan’s not going to get traded. It’ll probably be CarGonext if the Rockies are planning to rebuild, maybe DJ after him if DJ’s lucky.Nolan’s somebody the Rockies will want to build around. Then again, Troy hadthought he might be that guy, so maybeNolan will get out of here before he has to go through a rebuild. Troy doesn’twant that for him, whatever else he feels.

Nolan’s still pacing. “You were really gonna – you don’tget to decide that! That’s not fair, Tulo, what the fuck – “

“Don’t even fucking start on fair with me right now,” Troysnaps. “Unfair is getting lied to byyour own organization after nine fuckingyears – “

“I didn’t do that!” Nolan shoots back. “If you’re mad, youget to be mad, but you don’t have to take it out on me!”

Troy turns back to his suitcase, throws the lid down andzips it shut. “Go back to your room, Nolan.”

“Troy.” His voice is softer now, and he grabs at Troy’shand from behind, trying to get him to turn around. “Come on. We’re okay,right, we’re gonna be okay.”

Troy laughs hollowly. “How do you think we’re gonna beokay?” He lets Nolan pull him back to face him, lets Nolan hold his hand. “I’mgoing to the AL. I’m moving across the continent. When am I going to see you?”

“We got phones.” Nolan’s hand is a vice on Troy’s. “We gotthe offseason.”

“And you’re going to spend the offseason traveling to seeme instead of with your family? You know you don’t want that.” Troy tries toenvision Nolan giving up backyard baseball with his brothers and homecookedmeals from his mom in favor of visiting Troy. Nolan would do it, sure. Troydoesn’t want him to have to.

Nolan shrugs. “I like spending the offseason with people Ilove.”

“Don’t do that.” Troy wrenches his hand free.

“Don’t do what?”Nolan asks hotly.

“Don’t make it harder,” Troy says. “I’m gone, I don’t know whatelse you want.”

Nolan glares at him. “So what, you and me – you trying tosay it was just convenient?”

Nolan’s getting angry. Good, get angry. Nolan’s going to hurteither way, either now or months down the road when he realizes they can’t makethis work, and Troy’s looking for a clean break. Hurt Nolan now and they’llboth hurt less later.

“Don’t bullshit me, Troy,” Nolan says harshly when Troy doesn’tsay anything. “I don’t deserve this.”

“Yeah? Neither do I.” Troy heaves his suitcase off the bed.“I really have to get on a plane.”

“Come on, man, don’t do this!” He’s almost pleading, not quite, but close. “You don’t get to decide forboth of us!” He practically stamps his foot, like a child throwing a tantrum.

“I don’t get when people say that,” Troy says. “Isn’t thathow breakups work?”

Nolan shoves him then, puts his hand on his chest andpushes him back. “Fuck you.” He’s scowling and trying to hide the fact that hiseyes are welling up.

Troy shouldn’t be making decisions in the heat of themoment, but he’s doing it anyway. “I have to go.”

“Fine.” Nolan drags his hand down his face. “Go, then.”

Troy goes to the door, Nolan trailing behind him with hisface downcast. Just before he opens the door, Troy turns back and tugs Nolanclose impulsively, then kisses him. In spite of himself, Nolan slides his armsaround Troy’s waist and kisses back, pushing Troy back against the door, kisseshim like he thinks maybe it’ll make Troy stay.

It’s out of both of their hands, though. Troy can’t stay. Hepulls away from Nolan and untangles himself from his arms. “Bye, Nolan.”  

[angelic-guardienne]

I just realized that I, a lifetime resident of Ignis Hell, never made a post on my thoughts on Episode Ignis!! So I’ll do that now I guess while everyone is asleep and not tag anyone because... yeah.

Spoilers galore bc I don’t know if I can write a coherent review w/o spoiling some things. Just a head’s up, this isn’t really the most comprehensive review, it’s more just me rambling a bit, maybe I’ll do a deeper one later but for now it’s just a bit of a ramble. (this got progressively less comprehensive as the post goes on so just... process with caution)

Cut!!

Um where to start... okay, the gameplay. 

I’d actually played with Ignis a bit in the main game before heading to his DLC, meaning I had a brief familiarity with his controls (so I wasn’t panicking like “hoLY SHIT bells and wHISTLes”), I just hadn’t known what the specializations were for, so that was nice. I like the way he controls. He’s very smooth, sometimes he moves a bit too fast for my eyes (looking at that lightning magic) but other than that loved it. Loved him. Wonderful controls. Heard the blizzard power was OP and I concur. I used it a lot, mostly switched between blizzard and fire, was rarely seen hitting that lightning unless it was for a Total Clarity attack, and even then... the fire. the blizzard.

Ignis’ battle cries! Lovely. I don’t understand the “you’re mine!” trend that seems to appear in every game I play, but it sounded great coming from his lips, so yeah, seal of approval. 

I thank the lord every day for Adam Croasdell.

Ignis taking down those huge MT armors with the lance in two blows! (i’m talking before that segment with Ravus... which I’ll address later i’m sure) I’m a big fan of that. If I saw him do that irl i’d literally collapse. I almost collapsed just watching him do it in the game, but i was already sitting so i didn’t. 

(There were many moments during the dlc where i literally collapsed, but let’s get into that later)

But going back to the voice acting. I heard that some people thought it was rather poor but I found it really great? Ignis sounded a little bit whiny at times and completely done with everyone and everything at others and I loved it. He always conveyed the right emotions. 

There were those moments of course (you guys know the one. where he pushes off the MTs in the “resist” timeline. and just. keeps screaming. you know the one) but they just made me laugh a bit instead of driving me away. I look fondly on them.

There were actually a lot of moments that made me laugh in this dlc, serious as it was, i just. must have a very lowkey sadistic part of me. I always laughed at the sad parts of movies as a child. anyways. before i talk about those let’s get into these

these being ravus

ravus ravus ravus. my boy. i loved him before and i love him even more now. i’ve had a ravus/oc in the works for a while now and... and now i have a soulmate au in the works as well. help. this just came to mind. i’m sinking further and further into ravus hell on a daily

won’t even get into ardyn hell

back to ravus

love my boy. wanna hug my boy. i knew he was gonna take luna’s death very poorly but i thought we were gonna get a grief scene and be done with it but we got a grief boss battle (which... was hard. he’s so op like... help. the whole time he was on my team i was so happy i didn’t have to fight him and then...) and not one, but TWO grief heavy scenes so i was beyond satisfied. it was great. 

uhhhh ravy’s beard. 3/10 lol. it’s starting to grow on me though (in a metaphorical sense. i can’t grow a beard.) someone give him a candy cane and put him in red and call him kris

uhhh

(this is getting less and less coherent as we go and i’m sorry)

i’m sorry ravus’ beard is so hilarious. did he grow it because there wasn’t anyone around anymore to tell him not to? whoops made myself sad haha 

Oh! let’s talk about ardyn!

loved all the ardyn content. ardyn made me laugh and curse a lot, mostly laugh because... so theatric. the hat (you know the lil pat pat he gives that MT soldier he puts his hat on) and his little scandalized noises (the gasp he makes when ignis presents the ring in the alt ending) and that fucking scene where he’s revealed to be a grave robber and summons the armiger like it’s snowing outside

which it probably was

beside the point

Ardyn was good in this dlc. thank you Darin de Paul. lovely. his evil laughs... chills down my spine. but he evil laughs in a way that makes me both want to punch him and laugh with him. ardyn ignites emotions in me that i cannot name. not good ones, but ones all the same.

seriously though even if i wasn’t a fan of ardyn, ardyn was great in this. he’s slimy as hell and honestly... wow. he seemed like he was losing him mind a bit in this dlc and i love it. i’m 99% sure it was because of the ring. ardyn’s always a little bit crazier when it comes to the ring and this was allllll about the ring. so kudos for making it a trend

i... have a lot of thoughts about ardyn here. i just can’t express them correctly right now. ask me about them later and maybe i’ll be able to articulate. i’m sick and barely awake and all my brain is giving me is an “ardyn? cool bro” help.

there was more i said i’d come back around and talk about. um.

that mini stealth segment with ravus! wild. literally collapsed and almost missed the quicktime event in the second one. now i wanna replay the episode just to see what happens when i miss the quicktime events. i wanna do that with all of them actually. catch me doing that after i pick up my controller again. missing literally every. quicktime. event.

WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT PART WHERE IGNIS FUCKING FLINGS HIS DAGGER INTO THE FACE OF AN MT

BECAUSE THAT WAS HOT AS ALL HELL

HE JUST CASUALLY THREW IT

ALSO IGNIS HOLDING HIS DAGGERS BACKHAND IS MY WEAKNESS

WILL NEVER GET OVER EITHER OF THOSE THINGS

ohhh let’s talk about the parts where i literally collapsed.

1) when the eastern bridge collapsed just as ignis was about to cross it and he looked so done

2) when ravus and ignis did their stealth takedowns

3) when ignis was all “i presume you weren’t born with a prosthetic” like igNIS

4) when ardyn summoned his entire armiger to fire at ignis in the alt end

5) every time ignis screamed in general

6) when ardyn’s sword hit igs in the face and knocked him out

7) “This world means nothing to me. Do with it as you wish.”

8) AND THE LAUGH THAT IGNIS LETS OUT AFTER THAT LINE

9) when i got the bad fucking end because time limits

10) when ravus found lunafreya’s dead body and immediately went into rage mode

11) when ragey ravus attacked ignis

12) when ardyn showed up as gladio

13) obvi. ignis taking down the huge mts

14) while screeching in frustration, whenever ignis fell off of the fucking rooftops

15) oh, when ignis ripped off his earpiece

now let’s talk about the moments that made me laugh bc there were... admittedly quite a few

1) “Don’t be asinine.”

2) the way ardyn fuckin gasped when he saw that ignis had the ring in the alt ending

3) ignis pushing those MTs off of him in the “resist” timeline

4) ignis sprinting?

5) caligo immediately (and... ineffectively) trying to drag Ravy’s edges as soon as the man was out of earshot

6) ignis talking in his little earpiece 

7) “Have you lost your marbles?”

8) “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” Ardyn says a solid number of seconds after Ignis puts on the ring

9) actually all of ardyn’s quote regarding ignis wearing the ring? the man was just like... “wow who is this kid”

10) ravus calling ignis “boy”

11) ardyn just fucking tossing noctis

12) and then tossing ravus as well

13) ignis going full halt next to pryna even though noct is right there, seems even he can’t escape the power of dogs

14) “Let your hair down!”

15) ardyn summoning his entire armiger to attack Ignis with

16) gladiolus “if you’re alive then pick up the damn phone” amicitia

17) the fact that the empire just carries around coeurls for no other reason than to drop down on ignis as cannon fodder

18) ignis sounding (cordially) ticked off with literally every altissian aside from weskham

19) fuckin. watching caligo control his mech in the boat chase

and moments that produced emotions i cannot explain

1) ignis always getting close to the altar/noctis and then getting knocked away by a freak accident

2) iggy getting healed by the crystal’s light (you know the scene. his hair is all down and that’s... the most beautiful i’ve seen him)

3) ardyn going to stab noctis and the dramatic irony bc we know he wouldn’t actually kill him and is just getting a reaction from ignis

4) ravus throwing the dagger at ardyn!!

5) quick recipeh

6) getting fucking. knocked off the edges of buildings. and taking fall damage

7) “I don’t want to die without him”

8) ignis seeing the claw of the fallen mt and immediately thinking “hookshot”

9) one-man army ignis

10) ignis being so very realistically tired after every single battle

11) ignis with his hair all the way down

12) fire eyes

13) fire body

14) generally ignis living up to his name

15) fuckin. father christmas over there

16) ignis asking noctis not to complete the journey and noctis turning it around so quickly jk that actually really really hurt

17) having to watch ignis feel around for everything

18) also i don’t know if anyone else caught this, maybe it’s just my game but i noticed in the ardyn v ignis fight in the alt ending, a lot of the recorded sounds of noct warping/fighting are mixed in the jumble of ardyn and ignis’ fighting sounds. i can’t tell who is making said sounds but i hear them all the time

so yeah

my general view of episode ignis? heartwrenching, 10/10, would recommend, would play again, will play again, all the best things, love it very much, will hold it near and dear to my hear. lovely lovely dlc.