#what kind of fucking person would i be if i saw this pigeon

[oca-rinn-a]

in this world where so many members of our species, with supposed moral agency, are killing small things for nothing but the crime of existing, and so many are blind to the value of any species which does not benefit them in a way they can personally measure... do you ever feel so so panicked and suffocated?

[larluce]

Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU

@dsabian , @theroundbartable , @theplatanitosqueal , @stressed-but-chill , this part is quite long.

LINK TO THE OTHER PARTS: PART 1 , PART2 , PART 3 , PART 4 (You're here) , PART5

Morgana, Arthur (with Merlin on his shoulder) and Uther having a family dinner. Gwen and other servants enter to serve the food.

Uther: Does the bird really has to be here?

Morgana: Oh, let him be. He's very well behaved. Even more than Arthur.

Arthur: I'm very flattered you think so highly of my manners, Morgana.

Merlin: (chirps)

Morgana: See? He agrees.

Arthur: Shut up, Merlin.

Uther: (thinking) Am I the only one that thinks is weird they treat this animal like a person?

Arthur: (takes a bite of his food) Hum, what is this? A pigeon?

Merlin: (chirps loudly, horrified, and flies away, leaving the room)

Uther: Arthur, control your bird! He left feathers on my food!

Arthur: Sorry father. (worried) He isn't normally like this, I think something upsetted him.

Morgana: Maybe is because you're eating a bird?

Arthur: No, that have never bothered him before and small birds are part of merlins' diet.

Morgana: Wait... (turns to Gwen) Gwen, what type of bird is that on Arthur's plate.

Gwen: I'm not sure... (turns to other servant girl) Gladys, you were with the cook when they prepared the food right? What kind of bird is that?

Servant girl: I don't know, it kind of looked like a falcon but it was too small too be one.

Morgana: You mean like a merlin?

Arthur: (pales) Fuck! (stands up) I'm sorry father. I need to go (leaves)

Morgana: Yeah, me too. It was a nice dinner, your majesty (leaves too)

Uther: But you barely touched your plates! (sighs, to servants) Take this away, and make sure you don't cook merlins for dinner next time, for gods' sake.

In Arthur's chambers. Merlin is in his human form crying, while Arthur and Morgana try to comfort him.

Merlin: He was just two years old!😭 He was barely starting living.

Arthur: (hugs him close, patting his back) I'm so sorry, Merlin.

Morgana: (puts a hand on his shoulder) Are you sure is Claws?

Merlin: I'll recognise him anywhere. (snifs) He had just started his first nest with his mate.

Arthur: Wait, he had a partner? 😧

Merlin: And five little eggs. (breaks the hug abruptly) OMG! I need to tell Brownie what happened to Claws!

Arthur: Go, meanwhile I'll talk to the hunters so this never happens again.

Merlin: (smiles) Thank you, Arthur.(kisses him on the cheek) I'll be back as soon as I can. (turns into a bird and goes flying through the window).

Arthur: (in shock with a hand on his cheek) 😳😳

Morgana: I'll try to get Claws' rests, so maybe we can do him a proper funeral when Merlin comes back.

Arthur: (snapping out of his trance) Right, good idea, Morgana. I'll meet you at your chambers in an hour.

Later. Arthur shouting at the hunters.

Arthur: What were you thinking?!😡

Hunter1: (scared) Bu-but, sire. You told us to get rid of it.

Arthur: Yes, but you were supposed to bury him somewhere in the woods, not get him cooked!

Hunter2: We were going to, but the cook saw us and thought it was todays dinner-

Arthur: I don't want to hear your excuses! (threathening) No one must know about this, specially Merlin, this stays between us. Do you understand?

Hunter1: Yes, sire!

Hunter1: Yeah, we won't mention this to your.. uh.. pet.

Arthur: Now, get out of my sight!

Hunters: Yes, sire! (leave)

Morgana: (enters, in disbelieve and furious) I can't believe you!

Arthur: (turns to her, nervous) Oh, hi, Morgana! 😅

Morgana: Don't "hi" me. You killed Claws! You murderer!

Arthur: You're talking like I've just killed a person. He was just a bird.

Morgana: He was not just a bird to Merlin and you know it! Did you think about how devastated he would feel?

Arthur: He was never supposed to know he died, just that he disappeared!

Morgana: yeah, because that's ten times better, isn't it? Are you even hearing yourself?

Arthur: Morgana, stop. I feel bad enough already.

Morgana: As you must! 5 merlin chicks are without a father thanks to your sick jealousy!

Arthur: (Guilty) I didn't know he had a family. (thoughtfully) How do you compensate a female bird for killing the father of her eggs?

Morgana: Don't. She'd probably just take your eyes out.

Arthur: (sighs) Will you tell Merlin?

Morgana: No, that would just crush him more. Your secret is safe with me.

Arthur: (relieved) Thank you.

Morgana: But you better start acting on your feelings for Merlin before you start killing the entire merlin race!

Later at Claws funeral in the royal garden. Morgana puts Claws bones in a box and Arthur buries it while Merlin watches in grieve.

Morgana: I'm sorry I could only save the bones. The servants tend to eat the royal leftovers.

Merlin: It's okay. If he wasn't eaten his dead would've been in vain. (turns to Arthur) Was he delicious?

Arthur: Ahm... yeah?

Merlin: (smiles, sadly) I'm glad. He was a nice friend. He didn't care I wasn't enterily a bird though he didn't quite understand it.

Morgana: Did you know Arthur thought he wanted to mate with you?

Arthur: (flustered) Morgana! 😳

Merlin: Oh, he did propose me to mate with him once.

Arthur: What?!

Merlin: Yeah, he did the most beautiful flying dance I've seen, but I just couldn't see him like that. So we stayed friends. It surprised me a lot, normally merlins just leave after I reject them, but he never stopped hanging out with me, even when he found his mate.

Arthur: What a nice friend (thinking) That flirtatious bastard.

Merlin: Anyways, I need to go now. Brownie needs me to hunt her food since she's incubating her eggs still and can't leave her nest.

Arthur: (guilty again) Right, send her my condolences.

Morgana: Mine too.

Merlin: (kisses Arthur's cheek again and leaves in his bird form).

Morgana: Well, that went well.

Arthur: Morgana.

Morgana: Yeah?

Arthur: I need to learn how to fly.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hi! I was just reading through all your HCs (love them all btw) and just read the bachelorettes react to your kids being turned into pigeons. I'm so curious to hear how you think the bachelors would react. Have a great weekend!

Oh, that headcanon again... 🥲 (Yay, pain and suffering!). Thanks so much for the question, dear anon, hope you enjoy some angst 💕 Have a great weekend too!

_________________________________________

SDV bachelors react to Farmer who turned their children into pigeons:

⚠️ Warning: angst, mention of blood, mention of violence, loss of children.

Sam:

Whether or not to count it as a blessing, Sam's mind just didn't accept the Farmer's words when he first heard the news from them. Like, total denial. Hey honey, is that some kind of new slang? Hehehe, he seems to be a little behind the trends since he spent so much time taking care of their cute kids! But that's okay, because when they all go to visit his parents together, Farmer will explain the meaning of the slang to them, right?

"....Babe, what do you mean 'we won't waste any more time on children? W- where are the little ones...?"

Alex:

Alex had always thought he saw the personification of evil in the eyes of his alcoholic father, who had made his and his mother's life nightmarish and miserable. But after being struck by the words Farmer said and looking at their emotionless face, he realises that he has only now seen true evil. It would take inhuman stamina for Alex not to run around and smack Farmer in the face.

"Stay away from me, you monster..."

Sebastian:

Sebastian held his obsidian dagger in his trembling hand and pointed it in the direction of the Farmer - the person at whom the point of the dagger was not to be aimed! - lest they should come any nearer to him. He could understand everything. Fuck, he could even somehow understand the choice to relinquish parental rights and give them to an orphanage! But to use black magic to get rid of a child who was guilty of nothing more than coming into the world...?

He couldn't protect their baby. And now, how much chance did he have then, even with a dagger?

Elliott:

"You couldn't do that... Tell me... Tell me you didn't do it! That it was just a bad evil joke! TELL ME!"

As Elliott shouted at Farmer, his back touched the nearest wall and he slid down slowly, shocked, unable to stand up any longer. Their child, their precious treasure.... They had waited so long together for a new family member, and now the little one is cursed forever, hovering somewhere in the clouds, betrayed by their own parent. The thought makes the writer want to vomit. And to die.

Harvey:

Harvey's throat felt as if it were clamped with tongs. He could not say a word, could not breathe; it was inconceivable to the doctor's mind that the Farmers had remained so calm and serene after literally murdering their children... Why? Why had they done this to innocent children? Why did they do this to him?! Harvey's instincts screamed at him to run, but instead he fainted, seeing only darkness before him.

Harvey doesn't want to fight them. He'll let them finish him off too, because he can't live with that thought.....

Shane:

Farmer had expected Shane's reaction to be bad, but even they didn't know he would literally go wild. Although, why should they be surprised? Shane had finally acquired happiness, a spouse and a family he'd never even dared to dream of. He was happy, and he was doing everything he could to make Farmer and their children happy. His whole world had been shattered. And now Shane, furious and grief-stricken, is smashing bottles to use the shards as a weapon against Farmer.

There's gonna be blood on the floor tonight.

[bunnakit]

hellooo i love reading your opinions but im too shy to ask you this off anon so here it is. I’m like you enjoying the sign and loved the direction of the recent ep so I don’t really understand the divisive reactions on tumblr esp since twitter seems to always heap praise on the show. what are your thoughts on how phaya tharn’s relationship has been paced? and how do you think it may be concluded? I saw some people on here being disheartened and expecting a sad ending but I don’t really see that to be the case and I for one have loved their r/s pacing and also the mythology (my main gripe would be some of the way the cases were handled). but what’s your opinion on that and why people here are more divisive about the show? (While all opinions are valid some of the criticism almost feels nitpicky but I would love to hear your thoughts on this!)

QUICK NOTE- ANON SENT THIS BEFORE THIS SATURDAY'S EPISODE, SO THIS ABOUT EPS 1-8 hello love!! sorry it took me a bit to put together my thoughts and feel like my brain was put together and, well, i still haven't accomplished that but i didn't want to leave you on read any longer. also you're ALWAYS welcome to DM me here or discord or wherever! but i totally get being too shy lol despite how i am on the dash i am also very shy

so, i can kind of understand where people are coming from in that there wasn't a lot of courting between phaya and tharn which may make it seem like their relationship was fast tracked. idk, i'm not entirely sure what other people's thoughts are on it, i've kind of just been scrolling past posts that have complained or seemed like they didn't like it. i welcome everyone's opinions but i don't always want to read all of them (and i expect people not to read mine if it's not for them.)

i think it's important to keep in mind that courtship can look different for everyone and while they didn't go on dates, didn't overtly flirt, etc. they've been performing a delicate dance between each other and flirting very much in their own ways (from the hat tugs, the sparring, the attitude.) sometimes flirting is being obnoxious, getting on someone's nerves simply because you know how. half the time my husband flirts with me is my driving me fucking crazy because he's the only person in the world that knows exactly what makes me tick.

i think it also helps to keep in mind the fantasy element here; that wansarut and sakuna live inside tharn and phaya and are drawn towards each other and i think sometimes tharn and phaya's own feelings and attraction have to play catch up. i think some elements of their dynamic were very much both tharn not wanting to get close because of his fears but also not fully realizing the depths of his feelings because they seemingly came out of nowhere (wansarut.)

overall, i've really enjoyed the pacing, enjoyed how they've fallen together through various circumstances, how we've seen tharn's resistance dwindle until he finally had to let himself have the object of his desire. i also think it's a very adult relationship, it's really not all that messy or complicated once you remove the fantasy elements. sometimes desire comes first and love comes later. sometimes things begin physical and end in love.

there is no set roadmap for romance or relationships and to pigeon hole BL couples into a set pattern is a little silly in my opinion. their journey just looks a little different, it doesn't mean they aren't in love. we also have to keep in mind that there's so much going on in this show plot wise that to focus more on romance and courtship would steal time away from other elements that are already struggling to get addressed.

"but doesnt that mean the show is trying to do too much?"

sure, but i'd rather a show strive to do too much than do too little. i love to see the ambition and the passion behind it and even if things aren't concluded perfectly there's so much the sign has done right (addressing that men are also victims of sexual assault, constantly reminding us that tharn - while smaller and seemingly more 'effeminate' - is still every bit as strong and capable as phaya, the continuous reminders that they are a switch partnership, showing us that sex can be goofy and funny with khem and thongtai, etc.) i'd much rather all of this than to watch a show that made me feel nothing at the end of the day and the show has done SO much to educate foreigners on Thai culture. (the copaganda could go tho, we all know i'm an ACAB bitch so i DO have to wear blinders during those scenes lmao)

sorry- i got a wee bit off track. ANYWAY how would i like to see it concluded?

i'm a little torn because there are so many ways i'd be happy. i'd be happy if they finally rid themselves of chalothorn forever and were finally able to be together in peace. (i think everyone's ideal ending)

i'd be happy with a timeline where phaya dies to protect tharn in a reverse parallel of their first life, with a renewed promise.

i'd be happy if they died together and began the cycle once again.

two of these i recognize are HELLA unpopular opinions, but there's really not much this show could do to make me unhappy as long as they stick to the story and the narrative foils they've put in place. i think the only thing i would be unhappy with is if something felt like it came out of left field.

thank you SO much for this ask. i was so flattered i read it out loud to my husband the other day. i'm always SO open to asks like this and really find it so sweet that anyone out there values my opinion at all, i'm just a silly little guy

[causenessus]

[ 💌 ] INCOMING MAIL !

A LETTER FROM REE — TO — NESS HAS ARRIVED BY CARRIER PIGEON ♡ °⋆ 🕊️🕊️🕊️📮

ANYONE WHO ISNT NESS DNI DNR DO NOT LOOK. SCROLL AWAY I’M ABOUT TO GO TO SAPTOWN AND I AM EMBARRASSED THESE ARE MY DEMONS DO NOT PERCEIVE ME OR THIS ASK EVER. THIS IS FOR ONE PERSON ONLY. AND IT’S SUPER LONG ! YOU DONT WANT TO SEE THIS OR READ IT. LEAVE. THE DOOR IS THAT WAY.

ask/note: the last time I logged on I saw that you weren’t doing so well and attempted to write a suna + noya how they comfort you style fic and failed…MISERABLY. this is probably late and might not be of any use to you but the ghost of letters came over me and it’s spirit is whispering in my ear to write this (it’s my forte: letters, and I’m sure I could do it way better than writing when writers block is hitting more than it’s ever…. hitteth ,,,, <- ignore that)

dear ness,

first of all ! when I say you’re THE sweetest I mean it, so so so genuinely. you exude warmth and kindness and I truly believe without you tumblr would be a dull and soulless platform

second of all ! whenever you say something self deprecating about yourself I feel like knocking someone out. deep desires to harm someone or break something and just violence. crimes of some kind

I KNOW IT MIGHT NOT SET IN FOR YOU BUT IF I NEED TO SAY IT 100x FOR IT TO SEEP INTO YOUR BRAIN PROPERLY I WILL!! I KNOW YOU’RE AN OVERTHINKER!! I’M GOING TO HOLD YOUR HAND WHILE YOU OVERTHINK!!

there is nothing you’ve put out that I’ve ever disliked in the slightest if not loved entirely — when you said wdo inspires a lot of try again, to say I’m honored is a huge understatement and I believe you are out of everyone’s league; you’re an incredible writer and we don’t deserve you (I’m glad we have you though)

besides your writing, I cannot imagine a world nor a universe where I would enjoy tumblr as much as I do without you existing. I hate to mention wdo so much but it’s hard not to seeing that it was the first time we properly interacted sorry 😭 ..by the time I got to working in that fic I didn’t feel like I belonged on here and you made me feel welcomed :) I don’t think I would still be here or have met everyone that I did without you and I can’t ever thank you enough — you are kind and down to earth and so considerate, and I would give you the world if I could <333

third, last but not least, IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE AT YOUR BEST ! if you need a break we’ll be here when you come back !! you were the catalyst that made tumblr my home and if the apocalypse happened and wiped out everyone on the planet I’d be the last one standing — my motivation to survive was to be there for every causenessus post

IT IS NORMAL TO NOT UPLOAD EVERY DAY OR UPDATE FICS !! EVEN PUBLISHED AUTHORS GO MONTHS WITHOUT TOUCHINGN A PIECE OF WORK !! FANFICTION AUTHORS SHOULD BE SPARED!! ESPECIALLY YOU!! you’ve grinded and given us all these great fics, anyone impatient can take that time to go and reread ur other works instead of complain, I’m sure cold kisses and new grounds wouldn’t mind

I hope that no matter what happens outside of this silly little app: ur aware that my dms are open 24/7 and I mean that when I say it. It won’t require an apology or small talk — if you need to vent or a boredom cure I’ll always be here !!! always !!! I’m a no judgement zone and I CARE ABOUT YOU IMMENSELY AND I WANT YOU TO DO WELL ! I WANT YOU TO BE WELL ! I pray this letter feels like a bouquet of flowers on your doorstep with handmade chocolates from and a real sized suna placing it down there to give you the biggest hug of the century because it’s the bare fucking minimum for all the hard work you do (and before you say anything about slacking off, living is hard work — and I think you’ve done a spectacular job <3) ! this ask is the longest I’ve ever sent I think I set a record 🙂‍↕️ at the very least I hope it made you smile :)

with all my love,

ree.

REE THE MOODBOARD???? THE PICTURES???? REE I AM GOING TO SCREENSHOT THIS AND FRAME IT ON MY WALL /GEN I DON'T WORK IN FRAMING FOR NOTHING!! THIS IS SO SO SWEET <3 AND DW OMG :( THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO WRITE COMFORT AND IT'S TOTALLY OKAY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT!! (i am looking at the five discarded fics in my drafts rn)

ree i cannot i'm going to throw up /pos and i've only read the first paragraph!! REE I THINK YOU'RE OUT OF EVERYONE'S LEAGUE <3 you are genuinely so so sweet and creative and just have the most beautiful mind ever the way that you put so much effort and creativity and imagination into every single thing you do like look at this letter!! look at how you formatted it and matched color palettes and i just cannot tell you how thankful i am for you thank you so much ree <3

and omg no don't worry about mentioning wdo too much at all!! REE IT WAS SO GOOD I COULD NEVER NOT BE HAPPY TO SEE A REFERENCE OR READ SOMETHING ABOUT WDO!! and i'm so so glad that i could help you feel more welcome BC YOU'RE LITTERALLY OUT OF ALL OF OUR LEAGUES!!! IT'S LIKE IF I?? IDK LIKE OPENED THE DOOR AND GREETED UMMMMMMM TOM HOLLAND AT THE DOOR?? AND TREATED HIM LIKE A STRANGER AND THEN HE WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND BUSTED IT DOWN AND EVERYONE LIKE KNEW HIM AND CHEERED HIM ON YK??? like you are so amazing!!! you didn't need an introduction you just needed to come into the haikyuu fandom and bless us all with your writing yk !! (i'm so sorry i cannot find the words in my head to describe my vision for what i'm trying to tell you and i have no idea why tom holland was the first person that came to mind but i hope you get what i mean!!!)

and omg please ree thank you so much for reminding me of how okay it is to take breaks and not post everyday <33 you are so so sweet and i hope that you've been doing well after taking your breaks and everything!! i am so sorry it took me so long to get to this BUT I AM SO HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED THIS LETTER AND I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM JUST NOW SEEING YOU MOVED BLOGS?? BUT I THINK I FOUND IT AND WILL BE FOLLOWING IT ASAP AS SOON AS I FINISH SAP YAPPING IN THIS ASK!!!

ree i cannot tell you how thankful i am for all of our interactions and the memories we've made and for helping me with the stupid "a (technically an)" or "my" struggle during the makings of love notes and for literally just always being there for me!! please know my dms and everything are always always open to you too and i love you so much!! i hope you see this despite already moving blogs 😭 and i'm so sorry i'm just now finding out about it!!!! but you are the literally the best ree i am so thankful for you <33

[sachiko6243]

The good old Doc - Part 6

Missed the start? No problem, here is the first part, the following ones are always linked at the end, so you dont have to search endlessly. 😉

Summary: Lieutenant Lilith Adams enlisted back in the military, only to be met with a certain cocky pilot. Overcoming certain past traumas, she tries to fit in with the team of pilots as their personal medic. Soon finding her stuck between a certain good looking aviator and her work morals.

This is a series which is currently in the making, so I don’t exactly know how long it is going to be. 😊

Word count: 3326

Warnings: none

Blinking several times, I answered: “Yes.” That simple word earned me my first flying lesson with Hangman. Okay maybe me being twirled around by him, doesn’t truly count, but who cares? “Thank you so much, darlin. You have no idea how happy that just made me.” Carefully he let me down, still smiling like a little kid, who just got an ice cream cone. “So, whats your plan, Hangman?” I asked, walking around him and inspecting the bags he got. He scratched his head and suddenly the cheeky, smug Hangman was gone. “I… uh… I don’t know. I don’t really do dates.”

“You have never been on a date?” Surprised I looked up. “I thought someone like you could easily line up a good bunch of honest girls.” He looked away, a slight blush creeping up on his cheeks. “No, not the kind of dates, I would like to take you on. Not really. Hook ups yes, that’s no secret. But honestly… I am scared like hell to fuck up. You just… You kinda make me try nonetheless.”

I walked back over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “How about we go on a walk on the beach, get to know each other, and if things go well, we can meet the rest of the team in the hard deck later. There is nothing you need to be scared of. I mean, you already slept over and saw me having a break down. Worse thing that’s going to happen is you getting sunburned.” I added cockily, to lighten the mood. Jake smiling down at me at my determination, send butterflies through my stomach. “God, woman… I am supposed to be the one making you blush.”

“Still got time for that, Jakey.” I laughed, letting go of him. “And now serve me that breakfast, because I am about to faint from malnutrition.” He saluted, with a cocky smile on his face. Hangman was back. “On it, Ma’am.”

After breakfast we headed out in his car. Since I overslept hard it was already lunch time we managed to get to the beach. So, it being an early Friday afternoon, the beach was crowded like hell. But I didn’t mind. I was content in Jake walking next to me watching dogs chasing down some pigeons. We walked in silence for a while. Neither really knowing how to start a conversation. I took a deep breath, before taking his hand in mine. “How about we find a more peaceful place and sit down?”

He snapped his head around, feeling my hand in his, but then he smiled. “Okay.” He seemed out of breath, now frantically searching the beach. Using his height and appearance he steered us through the crowd, pulling me slightly behind him to cover me from any crashes. It took a while, but he found what he searched for a few yards down the beach. A group of big rocks were throwing some shade towards the ocean side. We sat down next to each other, watching the waves crash in.

“What brought you to the navy?” I asked, starting the conversation without any small talk. I wanted to get to know him. See the real Jake. He thought for a few moments, absently taking my hand in his, rubbing small circles on it. “You know, I was born and raised in Austin Texas. My family is kinda patriotic, so I grew up raised to be a gentleman, to be a protector of the weak. The step into the army wasn’t that far off. I don’t know why it turned out to be the navy, since I could have gone into the air force to fly planes, but something in me just drew me to the waters. How about you?”

“I got raised by Cyclone. I admire him, wanted to be like him. So, I enrolled, I tried the whole combat thing, turns out I care to much for people to willingly kill them. And being a medic in the navy is the next best thing to being like Cyclone.” I answered, smiling softly. “Do you think, there is a chance for me to ever get into a jet and fly?” Looking him straight in the eyes I waited for his answer.

“Don’t know. You are not trained to do this and I certainly do not wish to get my ass handed back to me by Admiral Simpson, because I took you.” He said, running a hand through his hair. “But you would take me, if he allowed you?” I pressed on, leaning forward and giving him puppy eyes. Sighting he gave in to my silent pleading. “Probably.”

“Yes!” I cheered. “That’s another thing I will be able to cross from my to do list.”

“You have a to do list?” He questioned, looking at me with curious eyes. “Whats on it?”

“A lot of stuff, actually. I managed to sail on different ships in the navy, flew with different planes. I also went skydiving shortly after my drop out, when my therapist recommended to do something, I was afraid of. I want to visit Europe and South America. Get my drivers license for a bike, run a marathon one day and since I saw you guys fly those jets, I want to sit in one, too.”

“That’s a lot.” He laughed, putting an arm around me. “Any chance I get to be a part of that list?” I cocked my head. “If you try hard enough. And if you convince Cyclone to let me fly in a f-18 with you.”

“Alright. I am a dead man.” He groaned, leaning back onto the rocks. I wasn’t listening to his complaints, fishing out my phone of my pocket. Dialing Cyclones number, I wore a wicked smile on my lips. “Cyclone? No I am alright… No you don’t need to come over… I actually have a question for you…” Next to me Jake turned white, shaking his head. I just winked and concentrated back on the call. “No… no its nothing drastic. Uh… well maybe… I wanna fly a jet…” Both men went silent. Jake visibly not breathing, while I imagined Cyclone to have a heart attack.

“Cyclone, you alright? No Jake did not talk me into this, he is actually trying to get me off that idea… But I want to and I trust him… So, you wanna tell me, you don’t trust your own men to handle their job?” I pulled the red card. The one thing that would always get to Cyclone. “Nah… I am not implying anything; I am just merely asking you for a favor. Please?” Waiting for a few seconds, I grabbed Jakes hand, nervously playing with his fingers.

“Oh my god, Thank you! Thank you so much!” I jumped up, ending the phone call. “Looks like we got the team another trainings flight scheduled.” I pulled Jake to his feet, hyperactively jumping around doing a little happy dance.

“Normally the thought of flying through the air at Mach speed terrifies people.” Jake pondered, but smiled at me with his adorable dimples showing. I started walking towards his truck: “Well, you should know by now, that I am far from normal.”

After we reached the base, I got send to change into one of the green suits the team wore when flying. Underneath I was wearing my gym clothes. Phoenix offered to help me get all the gear ready and safely on and when I walked out, I felt so powerful. The helm jammed under my arm. The vest with all the safety devices, air mask and stuff I didn’t know, neatly strapped to my upper body. Phoenix even snuck into the mens locker room stealing a second pair of Jakes Ray Ban sunglasses styled in the classic 80s pilot glasses.

“Motherfucking hell hole…” Rooster said, choking on the water he was just drinking. “Didn’t know you would be looking this good in gear.” I smiled at his words, looking for Jakes approval. He looked starstruck at my appearance, quickly gaining his stance back, when he noticed everyone was looking at him. “Are those my glasses?” Tilting my head, I put them on. “Nope, they are mine now.” Again, he surprised everyone with his next move. “Keep them, they look good on you.”

I followed the daggers to their jets. Jake was guiding me to a doule-seater F-18, which wasnt his. He helped me into the backseat and I was stunned how many monitors, switches, buttons and measure devices were in this little cockpit. “This is amazing.” I giggled, letting him strap on my helmet. Bob gave me two bags I was supposed to throw up into should I feel the need to. In that moment, Admiral Simpson walked into the hangar, resulting in everyone saluting. He walked right up to us, stopping in front of the wing, Jake was kneeling on, when he explained the different devices to me. Bob on the other side helping him out.

“Lieutenant Seresin.” Cyclone started. “I trust you with the life of my little girl, if anything happens to her up there, be assured your ass is out of the navy the moment you set foot back on earth.” I sighted, desperately trying to get a good look on the Admiral. I failed so I spoke to the monitors in front of me. “Stop treating me like I am your child. I can make my own decisions.” But none of the men reacted to me. Jake finally giving in to the stare off. “I will, Admiral.”

“Alright then. Your flight is scheduled for an hour, hard deck is 5000 ft. Your jets are unarmed, so the content of this flight is in your decision. I expect you to follow the rules and not go off crazy, because you got someone to impress.” He eyed Jake for a moment. “Have fun, come back safe. You are dismissed.”

I was smiling like a kid who just got told he could buy everything in a candy store. After Jake fasted my helmet and put my mask on, he chose the channel of our radios. Suddenly I could hear the rest of the team banter around.

“What you thinking? How much Gs is she going to survive without going out or throwing up?” I heard Coyote ask. Answering his question with another one, I said: “I don’t know. What level am I supposed to beat?” “Hello Wifey, scared?” Rooster jumped in giggling. “Not in a million years bird boy. I survived Afghanistan. How bad can a little plane flight be?” I shot back, earning several whistles.

In front of my Jake took place in his seat, letting the engines of the jet start. That was the signal for the others to follow up. One by one they started their engines and soon we were a line of four jets rolling towards the runway. Over the radio in my helmet, I heard Jake speak: “Hangman to range control. Entering runway. Confirm green range.”

“Hangman, range control. Green range is confirmed. Up and ready for takeoff.” A male voice I didn’t know answered. And that’s when Jake put the pedal to the metal. At least that’s what I assumed on the way my body got pressed into the seat. “Oh my fucking god.” I wheezed under the pressure. I heard Jake giggle. “That’s nothing, sweet cheeks. Wait till we get some Gs going for ya.” He sounded so happy in that moment and I couldn’t help but smile.

I felt the jet take off from the ground and it didn’t take me long to realize how slow we were actually going. The moment we reached 5000 ft Jake sped up. To my left and my right I saw the others line up next to us. I waved to Bob, who waved back. “Ready for some fun?” Rooster asked over the coms. “I was born ready, bird boy.” I answered, cockily. Definitely underestimating whats about to come. “You heard the woman, Hangman. Time to do some maneuvers. How about we show her what a dogfight is? You, Coyote and Payback being hunted down by me, Phoenix and Bob. We try to shoot you down and other way around. First one out, buys the first round in the hard deck.”

“You got yourself a deal, Rooster.” Jake answered, swerving his jet slightly to the left. “I say you guys change channels, since Lilith doesn’t now how to do it.”

“Done and out. May the better team win. You have 30 seconds to make some distance. After that, the game is on.” Rooster tapped himself out, giving me one last thumbs up. The second the others left our channel was the same second Jake started to really fly. Turning the planes nose upwards he sped up, Coyote and Payback right to our sides. I just sat back, concentrating to get my stomach back to normal. While the men suddenly changed their way of bantering to serious calls.

“Talk to me, Payback where are they?” Coyote asked.

“Last seen 7 o clock.” Payback answered.

I kind of got my stomach to behave long enough, to ask Jake a question. “Do you need me to give you calls, or what do you want me to do?” I earned a light chuckle through the coms. “Its alright, darlin. I usually fly alone with those two idiots as my wingmans, but if you want to you can give me positions on the enemy. Just try to keep it clean, clockwork system, don’t estimate, say what you see, or tell me you don’t know it. Otherwise hold on and try not to ruin my plane with your stomach contents.”

“Fuck you too, Bagman.” I said, flipping him off behind his head.

Looking around I searched for Phoenix, Bob and Rooster. “One on 8 coming from below.” I called out. “Other one right behind you, Hangman.” Payback added. “Breaking right.” Hangman said, abruptly steering the jet to the right diving under. That maneuver had me lifted of my seat. I felt my stomach being pushed upwards, when we dropped. Cursing under my breath I held on to the sides of the glass. With an incredible speed we flew past Rooster, forcing his plane to angle sideways and change course. Immediately Jake swerved his around, tail flopping over the nose. That move had me fighting hard to keep the vomit down, to the point where I could feel the soreness tickle in the back of my throat.

“Come here you little bastard.” Jake mumbled, tailgating Roosters plane.

“Phoenix on 11.” I said, my voice squeaky and horse.

“Coyote.” Jake called not saying anything further, fully focused on Rooster, who was flying like an absolute madman. Swerving left and right, high and low, while trying to get his plane behind us.

“On it.” I could see Coyote breaking left, doing a similar maneuver Jake just pulled seconds ago, but Phoenix was quicker, rolling hers to the right and slowing down hard.

A nose dive from Jake made me scream the first time I sat in the plane. Looking above my head, I could see Rooster rotating in sync with us toward the ground. His face was distorted from the pure force, mixed with determination. I felt sick, quickly ripping the mask off of my face and holding the bag in front of my mouth.

But luckily, I didn’t hurl. Because the second I was preparing for the worse, Jake and Rooster ripped their jets around and now we were facing upside down, flying away from each other, only for us to then tumble around and hunt after Rooster. I could just imagine what would have happened to my vomit, if it would have left my body in that moment.

“That was a mistake, Rooster.” Hangman breathed. And I could hear that he was also fighting the extreme forces pushing and pulling on our bodies.

I heard a loud beeping sound and a female voice in my helmet said. “Target locked.”

“Shot down, baby. Guess the first round is on Rooster.” Jake was knocking on the window of the plane, when we flew next to him, only to receive a middle finger. Then Roosters eyes went to me, and I probably looked like I greeted death, because he hand signaled something to Jake, I didn’t understand.

Instead, I heard the man in front of me speak through the radio. “Everything alright. Do we need to break off the flight?” Quickly pulling my mask over my mouth I answered with a dry raspy voice: “No, I am good. I just felt the need to puke and giving the stunt you just pulled I guess we got lucky I didn’t, because otherwise your cockpit might be ruined. And now I cant get the mask back on.”

“I am so sorry. I forgot you were there and flew like I normally would. I… Are you sure you are alright?” Instantly his voice changed from playful to completely caring.

“Just tell me how to put that mask on. If I am not mistaken, we need to get your wingman some help. He looks a little distressed over there.” I hummed, looking to my left, where Coyote was flying like an absolute crazy person, trying to get out of Phoenix tailgate.

Jake swerved his plane to the left, more careful this time, setting himself behind Phoenix, all while explaining how the helmet and mask worked: “Feel the right side of your helmet. There is a small lock. You need to push the strap of your mask through it until it clicks. Its opened from the lower front similar to the way the strap on the other side of the helm runs.” I did what he told me, now not needing to hold the mask in place anymore.

“Coyote, talk to me man.” Hangman groaned through the coms.

“I am alright for now, I need to get behind her, but she is good.” Coyotes strangled voice seeped through the radio. “And don’t you dare take that kill from me, Hangman.” He added.

“Alright.” Jake answered. “Time to run some tricks on the lady.” Setting himself next to Coyote he waved over to him. “Break each side, do a barrel roll and then the Maverick pull behind her, while I roll over her to stop her from swerving.”

“Understood.” Coyote answered. And without another word the two pilots just dropped. Or in Jakes case flew higher, rolling over Phoenix, until we were able to watch them heads upside down.

I waved to Bob, smiling when I heard, Payback cheer inside my head at the confirmed kill. Suddenly all pilots were back in the same channel. “Holy shit man, that was some sick double up you got there.” Phoenix said, honesty lacing her words even though I could hear her disappointment of losing the game. “I am surprised your passenger didn’t throw up. I kinda bet on her vomit stealing parts of your sight.” That sentence got me laughing, finally able to relax a bit, when Jake turned his jet back around to fly next to her. “I am very competitive, Phoenix. It got close, but I managed.”

“Hell yeah, she flew like an ace. Even gave calls.” Payback backed me up, him and Coyote appearing to our left. Rooster set his plane to the furthest right adding in. “She even survived the twisting tumble we and Hangman pulled.”

“You did that with her in the backseat?” Bob asked looking at me with what I believed to make out as wide eyes. I smiled. “That one was the stunt that nearly got me to vomit, but yes he did.”

“Badass bitch.” Natasha mumbled in her microphone. “Well, I guess we can discuss that further back on base. Our time is running out and we need to head back.” With one swift move the four pilots turned their jets to the left, starting to drop lower.

[shadow-dracat]

well, I see people in the notes saying stuff like "would love to hear what a Russian or Chinese person loves about their home/culture", so, as a Russian, let's go!

(Disclaimer: I do believe that a lot of land that currently is a part of "Russia" should instead be under control of the native nations living there. Russia falling apart or at least becoming way more decentralised will benefit a lot of people imo. + I myself am from the European part of Russia. So I won't be talking about Siberian tigers or Kamchatka's geysers. Obv people who live there and consider themselves Russian are free to feel proud of their land's wonders, but it feels wrong to me to assign that to Russians as a nation, because a lot of it is basically colonised land. Although can't ignore the fact many people living there do, in fact, identify as Russians. Overall a topic I am in no position to preach about. And yeah, Russian imperialism can go fuck itself. Also some of the things I'll mention can be common to other slavic (and not) nations, idk. Anyway, let me actually start xD)

I love the vastness that spreads between cities and towns. Forests, swamps and fields that pass by while you have breakfast on a train, maybe even chatting with some strangers, with a glass in a metal holder in your hand. Little villages with wooden homes, a lot old or in bad condition, but others still standing and providing their owners with coziness, their windows covered with traditional blinds. Backyard flowers, and apple trees, and berry bushes, and greens, and cabbages, and greenhouses with fresh tomatoes and cucumbers. And big, big potato fields.

I love babushkas, that help the family as much as they can and cook all kinds of delicious meals. And knit, and solve their weekly crosswords. And make jam for you.

I love all kinds of potato dishes. Mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, baked potatoes. Different kinds of soups and porriges. Oatmeal porrige, semolina porrige, millet porrige, herculean porrige. You hate it when you're five and having the breakfast at the daycare, but you know... it's actually tasty. The culture of frying kebabs and sausages over the fire. The flames give them black spots and a bit of a bitter taste, but it's so delicious after a long day spent around nature. The culture of making dumplings. The culture of going to pick some mushrooms from the forest with your grandpa.

I love the birch trees, and the pine trees, and the oak, maple, ash, willow trees. Blackberries, and blueberries, and wild strawberries you just pick and eat. The coolness and freshness of the forest early in the morning. And oh, do I love birds. I'm a bit of an amateur bird watcher, and the flying creatures surely sing for more nations than one, but this land is home to some of them too. House and field sparrows, pigeons and crows that dwell the cities. Rooks, jackdaws, magpies, starlings and tailwags you sometimes come by. In any park in my city you're sure to witness finches and thrushes. You may not see them, but a finch's song is a memorable one. I know it, and I always get excited to pick it up in the air around trees.

I love suddenly spotting a frog that hops away swiftly. Snails sitting on grass and tree trunks. Ants scurrying around, searching for treats. I know wolves and bears live here somewhere, but I've never seen them myself. A hedgehog visited my uncle's dacha (countryhouse) once. I think he gave the creature some meat and milk, but my memories aren't sharp on that one. My mom saw a fox once when taking out the trash at a summer camp she worked at. She also heard a nightingale sing at dawn. I wasn't there, but I love all the beings that make their homes here.

I love cities that spread so north they call their nights "white nights" in summer. I think you can even see northern lights in Murmansk. I love the cities and towns that spread south and grow delicious fruits and vedgetables. Average winter temperatures in Sochi are in positive degrees Celsius, and I love that too. I love when the snow coats the streets of my city. When parents pull the sleigh their children sit in. When it's spring or autumn, and the icy puddles are brittle and crack with such satisfying noise. You would often think of the weather here as depressing, but... it's home. You get used to coating yourself from the cold, and summer hoodies (and even coats) are usual. But you know, the temperatures of 18-24 °C in summers are actually perfect, if you think about it.

I love all the many lakes and rivers. Where I live, summers are often chill, so I grew to cherish the moments I could actually go swimming. I would get so excited every time it got warm enough.

I love the culture of sitting in a heated banya (sauna) as long as you can only to jump into the cold of night's water pool, or river, or lake. Some brave hearted even jump into snow in winters.

I love celebrating New Year on the night from 31st to 1st. Oliv'ye (a kind of salad) and tangerines. Grandpa Frost with his granddaughter. He's kinda like Santa, but wears blue sometimes. I love Maslenitsa's bliny (pancakes). I don't follow its traditions much, but isn't it nice to burn an effigy to signify the arrival of spring and the end of winter. The great lent that means there's a lot more vegan products for me to grab. The colorful and sweet easter cakes. Love the culture of preparing a big table full of dishes whenever it's a celebration or anyone comes to visit. And you know, they say them British are big on tea, but I'm actually used to drinking some after almost every meal.

I love cities that bear history. Novgorod, that served as one of the earliest trading points. Old orthodox churches and cathedrals. Moscow, that started out as a village, but grew into a megapolis. Saint Petersburg, founded just a bit more than 300 years ago, starting out with straight planned streets, being Russia's main city, now called the "cultural" or "northern" capital. Pskov, Tver', Kaluga, Oryol, Kursk, Bryansk, Belgorod, Yaroslavl', Vladimir, Voronezh, Krasnodar. I am not big on history and know criminally little about them, but would be happy to visit. Tula with its gingerbread and samovars (big traditional teapots). My mom's roots are from around there.

The big cities have grown some greyish blocks of flats during soviet times. The walls don't always isolate the sound well, and homes often feel crammed. Wooden floors creak with age. My grandma lives in one of those, and I have lived there too. I've also lived in newer buildings. They're neater, but bigger too, surrounding wide prospects full of fast cars, like a giant maze. They make me feel small and lazy to walk around, but... as much as I feel joy traversing orderly, narrower streets with 4-5 storey houses... I would always miss my bricky giant mazes. And messy courtyards, full of overly colorful chuldren's playgrounds and shaggy trees and bushes. It's where I grew up at. It's kinda depressing, but it's home.

I love the traditional stories and fairytales. About hares, foxes, wolfs, bears, farm animals. About old men and old women and their bread ball son.

I love the artists and scientists that called this land their home. Lots of them became famous. Lots not thanks to it, but in spite of it. But lots also carried it close to their hearts.

Love the workers and farmers that kept the cities and towns alive. Built the houses. Decorated them. All the people calling it home. And making it home. Activists, that fight for justice. Revolutionists, feminists, workers' rights defenders. Queer people, quiet and not.

I love the depressed hearts Russians often have. Melancholy is dangerous, but... isn't it badass to be considered a nation that wrote about meaningless deaths and hardships?.. maybe not, and I love it when happiness and love triumph, but there's something romantic about sharing your sadness with others. Looking cold from the outside, but being tender and welcoming on the inside. They say Americans are like peaches, whereas Russians are like coconuts.

I love the Russian language. How it omits the "to be". How we don't use the word "have" most of the time. How there isn't a single word for "go". Love the well articulated consonants and rolled R's. Love cyrilic letters. Love the "ё", and "ы", and "ш", and "ж" and "ъ". And others. And so many swear words. Love making it mine by inventing ways to be gender neutral.

I love the relatively cheap Wi-Fi and easy piracy. Love all the obscure and weird memes. Broken translations, tales of which linger even now in the form of screenshots. Absurd anecdotes about the bear and the car, and the man and the hat. Unusual and beautiful names like mine. Soviet comedies my stepfather often played on TV. Relatively cheap Chinese smartphones.

I know my experiences are not unique. And not universal either. I am quite priviledged to have been born in a big city in north-west part of Russia, and this writing has been rather subjective.

I might flee this country in the future. I'm not sure if or when this land becomes just to others. It would be cowardly or hypocritical, considering I don't find the strength in myself to fight this system that hurts many.

But I guess I will always love the bits and pieces of this land and culture.

anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians 

[ess-presso]

hi ess! <3 im back🕺

ur so right the universe ships wolfstar. i also saw regulus when stargazing but he was too far away from sirius to be in the picture💔 one day reg, one day.

ALSO happy late lily evans day <3 cant believe i missed her bday. rip lily u wouldve loved taylor swift❤️

tay time! mr perfectly fine, message in a bottle, & last kiss <3

chat time!

i dont think i could force myself to sit through dwd, ive learned enough abt it via osmosis and thats enough for me tbh.

THEY SERIOUSLY DO TAKE PICS OF TREES AND CLOUDS!! it baffles me. like sure maybe the clouds looked particularly nice and i understand that canada has some big ass trees but be fr. also i swear someone was taking a pic of a fucking pigeon once.

ur so right id also lose my mind over a red sock in my laundry. i think thatd be the final straw for me.

i think i have to agree ben barnes' smile in podg is very sirius. dorian gray IS sirius in the same way paul from dune is reg. no joke i almost called paul regulus to my dad the other day. not my finest moment❤️

godspeed on ur exam, u got this💪 drunk procrastinators never lose.

I DID SEE THAT VIDEO OF THE PERSON BITING THE TERRYS ORANGE!! i swear ive never been so mad before. also toblerone def is an essential drunk snack for sure.

that moment sounds so sweet, and it was raining too????? thats literally perfect. no matter how hard i could try i know liv would never dance to jazz w me. definitely considering revoking her best friend status right about now. but its fine because i know shed dance w me to taylor and 1d so that makes up for it <3

geoguessr can be so hard sometimes especially when its in america. like i swear unless its a city with signs i can never get it. like how am i supposed to know that this big ass field was kentucky and not fucking iowa.

L best friends for the win!!!!!! but ur right they lucked out too cause we're incredibly cool so good for them<3

maybe one day my negative rizz will pay off but ur right. until then i'll kick back with my wine & books & fanfics cause thats all i need in life. & damn cursing victoria to fail her exams, u know what thats so valid she deserves it.

likeafunerall's art is SO GOOD. so good. im obsessed with her character designs theyre just so perfect. and omg yes u should totally put them up on ur wall itll look so good. AND YES I SAW THE SOLDIER POET KING ART!!! its so good i cant. likeafunerall never misses.

I SAW THAT APPLETV AD YESTERDAY! i was freaking out like i swear appletv is doing this on purpose.

work song is simply so good. id KILL to see hozier live and for him to perform that song.

if i talk to caesar ill let u know. he was stabbed ~23 times so id say thats on par with a jesus style betrayal (esp since brutus was his close friend) rip julius i do hope u got a lil kiss before they maimed u<3

is alex turner psychic??? thats so funny.

omg not the famous 1975 concert featuring taylor swift.....id be utterly heartbroken. and right?? harry canada exists too u know..... i had tickets to love on tour before covid but then it was cancelled and then he fully REMOVED THE SHOW when he started touring again and now the closest one is in america. sorry harry but i dont love u enough to go to america.

dressing in red and gold is so gryffindor of u. i wear a lot of green so that tracks ig.

dw cruel summer will forever be my fav scream-at-the-top-of-ur-lungs song. its just perfect. dbm simply isnt that kind of song.

omg only ch2 of cr.... i am praying for u . but dont worry its SO good. like yes its heartbreaking but so worth it. i honestly miss the earlier chapters everything was so simple </3

rome is definitely the city of piss and gladiators. i guess not much has changed since antiquity !!

when people are blocking the hall and im just done with them i usually take it upon myself to barrel through them or give them dirty looks (sorry people but i have places to be MOVEW PLEASE)

two middle names is so cool u have options. u can change it up whenever u want u know.

UNCLE MOONY :((((((((

winter <3 and yes i hate when people call it fall. like autumn is such a pretty word. fall is literally so lame . so many people call it fall here and i hate it. its autumn!!!!!!! >:(

good luck on ur chem exam !! telepathically sending all my academic energy to u rn. dont forget to channel the patron saint of academic achievement, remus lupin. AND FUCK PHYSICS!!!!!

coins are so cool. i have one from Iran from 1950 that i got in my change from kfc and its so cool. and a paddington coin??? omg thats so cute.

unicorns and phoenixes are so cool fr. & u know who to call if u ever get bit by a basilisk!

bookstore dates are ideal fr. but only if the other person likes books (but also red flag if they dont......i am not wasting my time on someone who doesnt like books)

stealing money from the bank in monopoly is so real. i used to bribe the banker whenever i got desperate and it never ended well. and yes learn chess!! its so fun and it makes u feel smart.

yes van gogh recreations! she is so cool tbh. now if only i inherited even an ounce of her artistic ability and maybe id be satisfied. and cafe terrace at night is just so pretty. so peaceful and serene. i can imagine quiet jazz playing in the street while u look up at the stars. its so pretty.

OH NOOO sorry abt ur bio exam☹️ (<-girl what the hell is that i justwanted to use an emoji.....anyways) hope ur chem exam goes better!! & bakery + taylor is very good combo. proven to cure all ails.

and omg ur so right. picking out books for each other and then annotating them??? that is SO CUTE!!!!! SO CUTE! u get me.

hozier is completely in my bones too he lives there. i wanna get a hozier tattoo someday too he consumes me fr.

i love being a sports anti!! (badminton ur on thin fucking ice. )

yes proud italian over here🇮🇹💪 i love pasta sm. and omg portuguese?? thats so cool. ive always wanted to visit portugal. ive never actually had portuguese food & i really wanna try it now.

reg is SUCH a black cat. & james absolutely sings horribly in the shower and everyone is so tired of him. sirius prob does too but remus secretly loves it <3 jily night owl-early bird has my heart fr. also the james never getting hungover hc is so funny like Yes. he would get blackout drunk and then wake up at the asscrack of dawn the next day for quidditch practice, thank u.

dorlene forever. sorry peter but those women are gay. and idk how to feel abt reg/remus. ig if its written well its not bad but it feels almost wrong. at least their ship name (moonwater i think) is kinda cute.

i agree the patronuses are quite slytherin but def also ravenclaw (i have gotten ravenclaw multiple times when i take the test so ig thats my secondary house)

luna <3 shes just so cool and i love her funky sense of style.

yes dairy queen is ice cream! but also burgers and stuff too. but theyre known for their ice cream which is so good. if u ever visit north america i recommend.

omg barrs cream soda!!!! ive had that before from a lil british food shop i found & it was so good. better than canadian cream soda for sure.

q review:

this is me trying is so real. burnt out gifted kid syndrome hits like a truck.

omg a black swan that is so cool!! mysterious and shit fr.

my tears ricochet is such a good choice (& cruel summer) it hits every damn time.

ooo shapeshifting very good choice. just think of all the places u could get into by shapeshifting, celeb a-list parties?? the oscars?? buckingham palace?? ur set for life.

messy is so valid & i hate losing socks so mcuh like actually where the fuck did they go.

omg SMARTIES!!!!! i love smarties so much. they dont have them in america and i pity them. jaffa cakes are so good too.

shakespeare is such a good choice hes so cool. to meet The genius himself would be a dream.

work song FOREVERRRR

i love these hype songs. excellent hype vibes.

SNOW!! i love making snowmen sm. its actually snowing here as i type. idk what happened to the 10degree weather but yeah.

lady macbeth and macbeth !!!!! i love this. and omg i was OBSESSED with it in 2017 like OBSESSED. lemme try and guess who's who here.....u have said lu was taller than u so were u georgie? hoping im right.

answering qs:

fuck marlene, marry lily, kill pandora. i love pandora so much but i cant pass up an opportunity with marlene. sorry pandora <3

fuck reg, marry evan, kill barty. i think im too similar to reg to wanna marry him (although he is very wealthy.....) & evan seems like good marriage material so. also killing barty bc its funny.

what i like to spend my money on: mostly clothes and jewelry. and candles sometimes. omg and books how could i forget!!

inside joke with liv: we've got this dumb little handshake we've had since literally forever that we call the bunnyfish (long story, idek how to begin explaining it) im the bunny shes the fish. ive been trying to convince her to get matching bunny and fish tattoos FOREVER but to no success. ill get there someday!!

weird fear: maybe more of an irrational fear but i cannot lean against car doors while theyre moving cause what if it opens and i fall out on to the road and die. like what if. it plagues my life fr.

weirdest dare ive ever done: tbh i cant even remember. i usually pick truth cause my friends can be EVIL and i will not subject myself to their dares. they're never creative enough with their truth questions so its always something dumb like "darkest secret" or "who do u like"

worst impulse buy: luckily nothing huge, but i impulse buy random shit like nail polish or lipstick all the time. i have yet to buy something i fully regret but im sure the day will come!

fav quote ever: AHH okay this is such a good question. my absolute fav is from anne carson's an oresteia:

“Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

something about someone wanting to take care of u even when ur at ur worst just KILLS ME. RIPS me apart.

9. fav quote from a fic: this is a basic answer but i really love that line in atyd about james having an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it. just <3 yes. i love that man so much. theres also a bunch of lines in just lovers by zar that are taken from little women that just kill me every time i read.

10. ever met a celeb: ive never spoken to any but i DID walk past seth rogen like a month ago. and i saw john mulaney with olivia munn over this past summer too it was jarring.

11. fav snack: theres this snack mix i love called humpty dumpty party mix and its SO good. (the cheese one specifically) its got mini pretzels and doritos and puffy cheetos and crunchy cheetos and these little cheesy hoop things in it and its delicious.

12. crush on anyone: (dw ur good i dont mind!) not atm! i think my standards are too high bc of fictional characters and celebs so people irl always pale in comparison. like if ur not james potter or lily evans or sirius black im not wasting my time its simple.

13. who knows me best: definitely liv. she is as much a part of me as i am of her and we can read each others minds. also my dad, im almost a carbon copy of him cause we have the same interests and sense of humour .

14. lover vs getaway car: lover. the hopeless romantic in me had to. i love getaway car but its gonna have to be lover <3

15. all time favourite moment: visiting italy and greece was a dream come true cause ive always wanted to visit since i was a little kid. since it was a school trip i was with my friends and liv ofc and i had the time of my life. seeing the parthenon irl and the colosseum in rome changed the trajectory of my life fr.

16. fav moment with liv: ive got many but one specific one thats really special to me was when i came out to her & fine line by harry styles was playing & she almost crashed the car cause she was crying (WITH HAPPINESS LOL) it was very funny. that song has a special place in my heart bc of that <3 i also love when we go for late night drives and blast music. or when when we go to the beach at sunset with a bottle of wine>>>

17. r(egg) vs r(edge): im a r(redge) truther idc. i know his name is rEGulus but i am Not calling him r(egg) it sounds like EGG!!!!! r(edge) forever.

18. languages: sadly english is the only one i fluently speak. i know some italian but im not fluent (i blame my dad, whos literally from italy but didnt fucking teach me his language. wtf man) i also know some spanish and very very minimal french. i can read basic norwegian as well(i was obsessed with SKAM in 2015 so i had to learn some) BUT in terms of reading, i can read ancient greek and a bit of latin. also aurebesh which is a writing system from star wars (massive fucking nerd alert)

qs for u!

fuck marry kill evan reg barty

fuck marry kill pandora lily marlene

how many languages do u speak?

fav gemstone/crystal/stone?

have u watched the new last of us show? (if u havent u should its SO good)

sea, forest, or mountains?

what was ur dream job when u were a kid?

whats a topic u could talk for hours about?

celeb crush(es)?

spotify or apple music? (or other if u dont use these)

fav constellation?

fav memory with lu?

whats one food u have always wanted to try?

thats all for now! if u see this before u take ur exam GOOD LUCK!!!! u got this. if u see this after i hope it went well. either way remus would be proud <3

-bee

bee beee beeeeeee !!!! <33333

“too far away from sirius to be in the picture.” fuck fuck fuck this is the cause of my DEATH. i died and this is why. (pls one day catch them in a pic together. one of us shall do this. new mission.)

I KNOW HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST MILF EVER <33333 (did you see theinvisiblemuseum’s fanart of lily ???? it’s so fucking good ???) & you’re right she would’ve so loved taylor swift (can imagine her dancing to lover with james)

tay tay <333

mr perfectly fine - JEGULUS - this song is fucking jegulus after they break up and regulus is all ‘you promised. you promised. you promised’ ‘Mr. "Leaves me all alone, " I fall apart// It takes everything in me just to get up each day’ IT’S LITERALLY HIMMMM. he left and regulus fucking shattered this is the TRUTH.

message in a bottle - JEGULUS - i’m thinking a celebrity au jegulus where they like date secretly or james is a fanboy then gets famous and reg writes a track for James’s movie (??? fic idea alert) AND I’M SO YES. THE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE IS SUCH A REGULUS THING TO DO , TOO . (mr rab in a locket)

last kiss - JEGULUS / WOLFSTAR - this matches perfectly for both of them - except more wolfstar because in canon i think reg would’ve definitely known that they’d have a last kiss. and remus was the one who would’ve trusted him and all that shit. (and hello?? remus would so fuckin dance for sirius this is canon?? and wear his clothes after he’s in azkaban . )

fic rec for u (did i forget last time ?? i will not do this again , ‘tis a crime) - pink lemonade by moonysbookshelff (ft jegulus wolfstar rosekiller , with ace evan , and a happy ending , and also it’s a celeb au!!)

chatting !!!!

no because i’ve heard far too much of harry’s englishman accent when he’s yelling in some speech to sit through 2hrs of that shit.

“kids look this is a souvenir pic i took many years ago from my trip to london , the city of fashion & vibes.” “that’s a fucking pigeon mom.” (not a fucking pigeon why the fucking pigeon. no please no.)

but tbh pink is my favourite colour …. but i have too many shirts and trousers that i’d lose my mind to see as pink. so no thanks , no red socks today!!

YES OMG !!! podg ben barnes = sirius & dune tim = regulus !!!! this is canon major fucking canon !!!!!!!!! (it’s the smile and the facial expressions.) AND CALLING PAUL REGULUS THAT’S A CLOSE ONE . they might’ve found out the depths of your insanity then !!

yes yes godspeed but i did medium well on it. like everyone’s yapping on about the last q on the exam which they got like ‘4.35’ and i got 190 so idk. that’s like 2 marks i lost right then and there!!!

that lady should be arrested for war crimes. it was madness i tell you, MADNESS.

taylor and 1D over jazz , but you gotta try the jazz thing at least once. at least. it feels surreal, i’m telling you. this liz sounds so fucking cool high five to us dude we won the lottery of best friends.

wdym you didn’t know it was kentucky??? was there not a fucking colonel sanders standing right there ??? COLONEL SANDERS FOR THE WIN (i love kfc!) . this what i’m saying all fields look the same i can’t fuckin differentiate.

L & E // L & B —- > best motherfucking friends you will ever find ever. got the ‘married by 40’ pact with my dude too.

wine & books & fanfic > actual romantic satisfaction. alwaysssss. (i do not like her anymore. she’s consdescending as fuck. what the fuck do u mean ‘can’t believe u dk what a processor blah blah computer shit thingy is ??’ BITCH CAN U TELL ME WHAT A FUCKING KETONE IS ???? i thought not.)

i’m so obsessed with likeafuneralls art. she’s drawn the first art of xenophilius lovegood i’ve ever seen and looking at it i was like ‘damn now i understand how pandora got locked down.’ ALRIGHT OKAY THEY’LL GO UP ON MY WALLS NOW. (you’re literally so right likeafunerall literally never misses her art is fucking ETHEREAL.)

IK IK THEY ARE . ESPECIALLY THE TIMMY AND GARY OLDMAN THING I WAS LIKE ‘SIRIUS AND REG SIRIUSANDREG.’ this like when andrew and ben barnes met (have u seen that photo pls say yes it’s life changing as fuck.)

me too i really want to go to a fuckin hozier concert i rlly think my life would be changed. like it would be.

on a slightly related note- have u seen the jesusxjudas edits??? they’re fr making me all emotional like damn jesus knew and he was all ‘fine I sacrifice myself if u kiss me u lil bitch’ . & yes i hope brutus gave him a little eye contact at the very least. like something intense.

HE IS PSYCHIC. I swear it. i love it.

i was so fuckin heartbroken it was unreal and my heart was a bunch of tosh for like three days. harry thinks only usa exists . like hello??? what abt canada ?? AHAT ABOUT YOUR ROOTS??? ENGLAND ??? LONDON??? MANCHESTER??? I don’t care about u enough to go to the usa for u (i’d only do that for ZAYN.)

we dress like our houses as we should (currently in red pjs because it’s 9:00am and my exam is at 1:30 so i don’t have to leave until like 12:30.)

cruel summer just fuckin hits right yk??? it just does it’s like i ascend to heaven . ( ‘GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL’ is my national anthem fr)

😀😀😀😀 i’m very scared now ! very ! but i shall power through because i am no stranger to pain! yay!

piss & gladiators ong. that’s such a funny sentence though fr ‘piss and gladiators’ .

next time i’ll deck them in their motherfuckin faces. not kidding. was nearly late to my exam because of them. but I’ll just give them detention because as a higher-up , i can do that! so very good!! college student gives the lil bitches in the corridors detention !! more at 7!

yessss i can switch it up. when i get lu to pick me up and i’m taking a lil too long to get ready he just full names me and i’m THERE. but ess is good for me honestly it’s all smooth and stuff.

UNCLE MOONY :((((( (*sobs*)

IT’S AUTUMN. AUTUMN . this is truth. nothing else is true but this. (winter is bae.)

AHHHHH THANK U SM !!!!!! I AM GRACIOUSLY ACCEPTING THIS ENERGY OH MY GODDDD. i will challenge mr lupin through myself i will. (fuck physics !!)

just be loyal to dumpydumpster and fawkes will come through !!! (unicorns & phoenixes 5ever!!)

nah this is so real of u don’t waste ur time on non-book lovers book lovers only pls and thank u everyone else fuck off you aren’t good enough.

stealing money from the bank yesssss. hut unfortunately lu is the banker and he’s just as competitive so he will not budge AT. ALL. all right this friday i’m getting lu to teach me that’s it.

cafe terrace at night walk by with your bf/gf and hold their hand and ahhh melttttt . And jazz would so be a part of this experience i agree !!!

I AM ALSO SORRY ABOUT MY BIO EXAM. but i put something down for every q and that’s a fuckin achievement. honestly . the brownie was vv good plus a walk and taylor , solved so many of my problems honestly.

WE GOTTA FIND SOMEONE TO DO THIS WITH ISTG. annotating books with shi like ‘you’d do this’ making me cry and that.

hozier is me. i is him. we are one. imagine having a song written about u by hozier. like i’d straight up keel over and DIE.

Sports suck !! (badminton and sometimes cricket watching me . and also lu. )

AHAHA ITALIAN YESSSS. portugal is fucking amazing . there’s a little church up in portugal (sanctuary of out lady fatima) and it’s my peace place honestly . feeling so much less worry when i’m there. if u go to portugal that is a must!!! AND so is algarve. algarve is also home <333 I miss it now :) THE FOOD IS AMAZING , YESSS!!! you must try pastel de nata !!! (egg custard tarts!!!) i really love them they’re so fucking good.

REG AS A BLACK CAT IS THE ONLY HC THAT MATTERS HONESTLY. I love it so so much. and james as a horrible shower singer ???? canon fr. (i adore jily night owl/early bird so fucking much it’s like a release i adore it so much they had that for a little while at least!) JAMES HAS MAGICAL POWERS FR FR !!!! i wish i had them too damn me with headaches and shit.

yes they’re lesbians if i’ve ever seen them. and moonWATER???? that’s fucking HARSH ??? (i’d read a oneshot maybe. maybe.)

my secondary house is slytherin !!! and oh my god that’s literally so cool i just have the one patronus!!

luna luna luna i’m just as sane as her she gets me fr.

I’m literally so jealous of so many American restaurants. i want dairy queen now damn. if i ever come there i will go to dairy queen and i’m very excited for that.

barrs cream soda is literally bae it’s so good (though it used to be 39p and now it’s 59p ???? rip off asf but i’d still buy it )

i’m an ex-gifted kid now try-hard

IK IT IS MYSTERIOUS AS FUCK

mtr kills me . i’m in a battlefield every time i hear that song fr. (cruel summer is a close second <33)

one second i am timmy tim at the oscars next i am one of the queen’s corgis!!!!! the opportunities are endless

they went into the fucking vacuum of the earth or something where else WHY DOES IT HAPPEN. WHY DO YOU GO. STAY???

smarties and jaffa cakes >>> shitty american chocolate

it would be a dream. I have so many questions and he’s the only one who could ever answer that.

work song. work song. work song.

THEY GET ME ALL BOPPING WHILE I’M GETTING DRESSED AND STUFF.

it’s SNOWING??? lucky asf tell me if it’s enough for a snowman at the very least.

WE THOUGHT WE WERE SO SMART BECAUSE WE KNOW MACBETH BY HEART having studied it and all!! (AND I KNEW YOU’D GUESS THAT. i was it & he was georgie and that’s what was so funny because he’s taller so him wearing a yellow raincoat and with the red balloon and stuff it was so funny. and i was the creepy fucking clown but he was still funnier because imagine a tall blonde georgie like DAMN. )

reviewing q’s -

marlene would treat you right. I just know she would.

marry him for the money!!! marrying evan is a good choice too though (killing barty for the win!!!)

clothes and books and candles and jewellery YESSS GIRL AS YOU SHOULD JAZZ YOURSELF UP.

liv better step up and get that tattoo. you guys are the bunnyfish it’s practically illegal not to get that tattoo.

no same honestly i’m a second away from my death i could be rolling on the ground and die in a few second fr you’re so valid for this.

picking truth forever yessss >>>> (i’ve picked dare but i’m playing with lu so it’s always stuff like ‘i dare u to eat a spoonful of ketchup’ like damb boy you can do better.)

i buy nail polish and lipstick from poundland and primark all the time. literally it’s an addiction because i think buying them for a pound is a good deal . but then i buy like 20 of them and suddenly i’m a hoarder. (special mention to my buys of the royal butter and the toblerone!)

THIS QUOTE. OH MY GOD THIS QUOTE THIS QUOTE . killing me opening me helaing me and killing me. someone loving u like this is all u fucking need fr >>>

james potter has an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match. mskingbean knew what she was doing fr . I LIVE FOR LITTLE WOMEN REFERENCES IN FICS OMG I’M ACTUALLY WRITING ONE AS WE SPEAK.

i’ve never met a celebrity so that’s annoying. wlaking past seth rogen??? so casually??? i’d be screaming and stuff. seeing john mulaney and olivia munn must be jarring actually. i’m jarred rn. like wdym they sit around eating lunch like me??

this sounds so funny ‘humpty dumpty party mix’ dying dead. but also i want to eat it sounds really fucking good and such a range of cuisine in there seriously.

no this is so real of u. I don’t crush on anyone except for fictional characters who real humans will never ever live up to.

ahhhhhhhhh liv knowing you bestttt that’s peak platonic soulmatism!!!! (your dad sounds so cool 2 fr) i get that sm because lu knows me best and that’s honestly peak knowing someone that well .

lover’s my first dance song, but it depends on what mood i’m in. sometimes i need to feel like a criminal, and at that point it’s getaway car. but rn it’s lover. in a very lover mood atm.

AHHHHH OH MY GOD THAT’S SO COOL AHHHHHHHHH SEEING THE PARTHENON??? I wanna see it too DAMN.

coming out while driving yesssss because they have to keep driving. (And to Harry styles??? double cool??) for me it was lu that figured it out . he was like damn you a bisexual. (obviously more deep but this is very much the gist of it) LONG DRIVES WITH MUSIC AND WINE AND SUNSET OH MY GODDDDDDD . DREAM.

u chose the right answer. like idc as a brit , which is where regulus is from , i say r(edge) so it’s redge. DONE. (although if anyone else says it it doesn’t matter ALL that much. )

listen i watched friends and i think ‘va fa a napoli’ is a swear ??? confirmation pls ??? I TRIED TO LEARN SWEDISH FOR THIS EXACT REASON OMG. because i was obsessed with young royals but i only did one lesson. my brain said no! i did 6 years of french , have a french fluent best friend and still can’t speak it properly. such a pain honestly. (that’s such a cute lil nerdy thing to do tho damn girl u get that excited???? go learn your star wars language YES DO IT!!!) (AHHH U CAN READ ANCIENT GREEK ??? MA’AM THAT’S SO COOL.)

q’s for me —->

fuck evan marry reg kill barty. i am a gold digger. that’s all. and barty because he did stuff to alive and frank and if it comes to choosing i shall bring that up unfortunately .

marry lily fuck marlene kill pandora (sorry pandora sorry u don’t deserve it) lily evans is WIFEY. she is wife she is mother i am hers and she is mine. love her.

My time to shine as a polyglot.

portuguese

gujrati

hindi

urdu

marathi

bsl

i am fluent in all of the above but i also speak punjabi a lil and also know braille english , but apparently that’s not a language so i can’t use it.

4. topaz cool as shit. so topaz , but also obsidian and amethyst (birthstone alert!!)

5. i have not ! however I saw a quote of it on my dash (‘you were my purpose’) so now i will watch it !! very excited for it !!!

6. forest. could be lovely there with picnics and shit. i’ve had a forest picnic and i’ve been fine so forest. not sea because i won’t betray reg , and not mountains because i cannot climb !!!

7. weirdly enough a hairdresser 💀💀💀 wtf was up in my head??? i used to think the cutting and dyeing hair was so cool and i really wanted to do it until i was like 9. then i got some sense knocked into me.

8. cancer 💀💀i did my epq (which is like a dissertation of sorts) on this and i still remember everything and honestly it’s so sad and so much but i could talk about it for ages. BUT ON A HAPPIER NOTE !!! I COULD TALK ABOUT PLATONIC SOULMATISM FOR HOURS !!!!!! HOW A FRIEND LIEK THAT IS SO SO IMPORTANT THAN HAVING A BILLION FRIENDS WHO WON’T EVEN KNOWN YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR !!!!

9. timothée chalamet & louis partridge ( i love timmy for obvious reasons & i could so treat louis better than his grandma ass girlfriend come here bb) ALSO FLORENCE AND ZENDAYA (but I don’t want tom to bite my thumb off for simping after his gf)

10.APPLE MUSIC !!!!! APPLE MUSIC FOREVER AND EVER ARE YOU KIDDING ???? dolby atmos just does somrthing to my ears.

11.canis major !!! very sirius of me but canis major !!! love it and i can tell which star is sirius right away. but draco is a close second !!!

12.well u know about the dancing jazz . so i’ll pick another one (hard to choose damn) i took him with me to a wedding as my date (fake of course because of the family asking do u have a bf yet do u have a bf yet) and he was the white boy there and he was wearing a tux and he was so innocent and everything he ate was so spicy he nearly cried but he powered through and when he came out on the dance floor he DID THE DANCE BETTER THAN ME???? how dare he??????? and he was so nice to all my family who kept calling him ‘gora’ (white boy) even though he fully knew what that meant . like he did all that and he bought a toaster to gift to them as well. it was something else and i will always remember that. BUT ALSO I HAVE ANOTHER WEDDING COMING UP SOON (start of march) AND I’M TAKING HIM AS MY FAKE DATE AGAIN !!!! hoping he’s built his spice tolerance up , but i shall update u soon on whether he has or not.

13. i really fucking want wingstop. like so badly. I would fly to the us for that shit i just WANT ONE CHOMP ON THAT STUFF. it looks so fucking good and life changing like damn come in my mouth bb. And also birria tacos. i need to try that asap it looks so good i could cry.

q’s for u -

something u could talk about for hours?

worst advice you’ve ever given?

worst advice you’ve ever taken?

if u were a periodic table element which one would u be ?

what’s your undercover spy name ?

do you prefer savoury or sweet?

Who’s your favourite friend (from the tv show)?

3 wishes ??

how long are u surviving in a zombie apocalypse?

favourite stone ?

fave constellation ?

weirdest dream ?

worst dream?

best dream ?

timothée chalamet or ben barnes ?

things u eat at the movies ?

last text you sent?

last text you got ?

phone calls or text messages ?

what greek tragedy hero are u ? (this is a quiz & i got orpheus !)

And what’s your favourite meme ? I must know this?

(beeeeee beeee thank u for being such a lovely human !!! come back soon !!! i will miss u and i’m seeing this before the exam , so i’m chanelling all my remus Lupin energy into this. thank u for the luck , i wish u luck in life <3333 come back soon dont be too long !!! )

[mood2you]

Finished!

People leave negative reviews that you can't "identify" as autistic but, like, if Don hadn't "come out" (his words. It's pretty silly, it might be a reason people get mad.) then the books would feel more exploitative, the way Sheldon Cooper feels. Anyway, to these negative reviewers I say, they're 12! They are allowed to make "the mistake" of "identifying" as autistic. Some reviews said the book feels like a thesis on autistic children, which would be where the exploitation stays because why is it all backloaded! Put Liz in the whole series. It's kind of like apologetics.

The book doesn't really explain why you wouldn't just get the diagnosis. Well it's a romcom so it doesn't have to.

I do want to say that I think fucking up a lecture on race is worse than putting a dead pigeon in your locker, because the race thing will affect the school and could impact how students treat each other (big example is what happened to the person who recorded it) and the pigeon is just disturbing and I think only 4 or 5 people saw it up close. And yet, they both get the same treatment even though Don is at a job making money and the school is a school that is making money off them. They were, like, scared public high school wouldnt take their son, just for having a dead wild animal, literally boys being boys. No, I shouldn't go that far.

Oh and I should have said I'm not! Essay canceled! I'd like to say whether the book was as progressive as it wants to be (Liz is a lesbian which would be the character archtype to be yelling philosophy into a bullhorn) but I don't know! I think person-first is just clunky language. But I think it's okay to be causiius when talking ABOUT people. It is funny how Don is like "he took an adult self-test not the autism parent one?" yeah Don your 12 year old thinks he's an adult (see my post conservatively saying they shouldn't have let him use transit unsupervised because he ended up upsetting someone's anger issues dad) and keeping this from you until he's confident.

I think the book would have been just as good if their son wasn't autistic I mean he would still get in trouble at school. The second and third books are about Don being a parent and in this book he compares himself to his father a lot, and all that. And? The first book is kind of about Rosie's father.

I like how The Rosie Result keeps holding an autism diagnosis over characters heads as some kind of sacrifice they're wanted to go through: Dr. Tilman trying to show how race science is ridiculous by lining his students up, the college says he will be suspended until he gets an Aspergers diagnosis but then in desperate tells him all he needs to so is say he has it with no formal diagnosis, he just quits to open a bar, (well it's not a straight line, but) he says it would be cowardly to blame it on Aspergers and reflect badly on people with it. Then later the private school his son is in says the son will be suspended all year for trying to dissect a pigeon at lunch unless he gets an autism diagnosis, and the staff even admits the diagnosis could be negative. And of course they also call him a psychopath.

I wrote this post midway through the book and the school retracts the whole thing because he acts a certain way under stress (he's the track captain and there's 4 teams going to race and he's been coaching his team that they all at least should finish and you can do it and go faster in the second half, and then there was horrible drama with his friend but he like held her hand across the finish line. The counselors say an autistic kid would be singleminded about the race I mean especially since it's about forgiving his friend it's not just holding her hand it's doing it in the midst of drama. I might not have!) and Don is like well my friend Laszlo is nice and he's autistic (the best argument you can expect in a real extemporaneous argument) and the school is like okay, and pulls a trapdoor lever to send one of the counselors to Summer HR. But then the school wants the son to write a speech about this one moment and he's like how do I write a speech about holding my friends hand? I do not have a crush on her by the way. What an insane thing to force a middleschooler to write a speech about!

I don't know. Everyone is always mad about Sheldon Cooper and Don Tilman but Don isn't usually the butt of the joke. It's hard to explain. Don always ends up in crazy situations, but then also he solves them by being honest or blunt or something. Honesty is a great aspect to theow into miscommunication stories. People can be mad I guess though because a lot of the jokes ARE about communication and the way people see Don. Plus of course he never thought he is autistic, one of e no of the first scenes ine in the series is him getting mad at a colleague for making him cover his Aspergers lecture, it could nave co my en to p it could have come up but it does the opposite.

So I can see people thinking the last book being about autism in an antipsychiatric way as sort of being a "special episode" and procrastination. Here's all the autism takes all at once. They even talk about ABA, even pro-ABA parents say "her trauma, maybe even her suicide is a risk *I* am willing to take" then Don buys a transit pass for his 11 year old who then buys a phone for himself without talking about it with his parents, AND one for his friend who's family is anti-doctor (ei very controlling) so it's like. There's got to be a midway between ABA and letting your kid run around like that. I'm not against kids having phones it just seems like something you should talk about, and, yes, the parents of the other kid have intersicted her against hanging out with the son, because, you know, it just LOOKS weird. Looks are important but only in a cirxular totalogy way.

[lfcthelovesofmylife]

My Opinions on the England NT players

Luke Shaw - 

literally looks like he’s 15 and 35 at the same time in some pictures. To this day I don’t know how old he actually is. Have not seen him play a single Man U match this season (i don’t like Man U so i don’t watch their matches but still). Does he still play football? I don’t know. Good goal against Italy so i have to give him some praise for that but i genuinely don’t know anything about him. 

Mason Mount - 

I cannot lie, I think I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. If love at first sight exists I think this is it. I would do anything for this man. He looks like he’d sit with you on a bench in your school gym and let you cry on his shoulder (defo not based on real life experiences). What more can I say about him? I would burn the world down for him and then jump off of a cliff if he asked me to. 10/10 especially after missing his pen in the FA cup final. He did that for me xx

Trent Alexander-Arnold - 

Also the sexiest mf I’ve ever seen. Assist king. He seems like a bitch sometimes but I still love him. Does look like if you were nice to him he’d be nice back. Very proud of his achievements. Do just want to find him and give him a massive hug sometimes. I like the new haircut much more. It’s grown on me, he better not change it or some sorry words will be said. Hope he gets picked for the next England matches but I don’t want him to get injured because I’m not mentally stable enough to deal with that.

Tyrone Mings - 

Literally the height of a fucking tree. He’d absolutely destroy me and my five foot two self with just a push. Quite scared of him but at the same time he looks like he’d invite me in for a cuppa and a few biscuits if I was walking past his house in the pouring rain. Probably has a kind soul but I wouldn’t want to get on the bad side of him. 

Kyle Walker - 

Kind of reminds me of a pigeon. I don’t know why, he just seems to have that familiar blank stare. Looks like he’d bark at you for stealing his sandwich in Tesco’s which he never actually bought. Do find him quite funny but that might just be when he’s with John. Overall I wouldn't particularly want to be besties with him.

Jesse Lingard - 

Absolute icon. JLingz. Has the most adorable daughter, she’s so precious. Easily one of the funniest players in the game. I can already tell we’d be best friends. Especially love him after the reports that he got into a scrap with Hazza Maguire. Deserves the world. I hope I get to meet him one day. 

Marcus Rashford - 

Looks like a kind man. Don’t know if we’d get along because we’d fight over who’s Jesse’s better friend. Can already tell he’d try and make me a home-cooked meal if I ever said I was hungry. Would no doubt constantly try to give me food. I’d have to convince him he’s actually a good footballer because Ralf never plays him in matches. Looks like he’d get very emotional sometimes.

Jack Greasy…I mean Grealish -

Don’t like him because he’s a bit of a bellend but I have to admit he’s extremely funny. Doesn’t seem like he has a single brain cell left so it would probably be very difficult to have an actual conversation with him. I salute his girlfriend for putting up with him. I could probably drive better than him. I don’t have my driver’s licence. 

Hazza Maguire - 

Absolutely terrified of him. Would probably tell me to go back to my own country. If I saw him begin to walk towards me I’d run the other way. He’d try and fight me because I’d tell him he’s a shit footballer. Nothing more to say. Traumatises me just thinking about it. 

Jude Bellingham - 

Absolute sweetheart in my opinion. Looks like he’d protect you from all those creepy guys at a house party or club. Would definitely cover your drink if you had to go somewhere for a quick second. Seems like a lovely guy. Want to see more of his personality on the England youtube channel. 

Jordan Pickford - 

Hate him but at the same time I love him. He’s so funny and for what. Suddenly manages to bring out all the skills for England but he’s horrendous for Everton. Might just be because it’s Everton. I do want to punch him sometimes. Wouldn’t be surprised if someone from the team already has.

Phil Foden -

Looks like a prick. He always looks like he’s going to complain about something. Would not be able to stand the guy for a single second. He just looks annoying. I see him on my tv and immediately change the channel. Every time I see his face I want to punch it. 

Jordan Henderson-

DILF. He is the definition of a gentleman. Looks like he’d hold the door open for you if he saw you walking down the corridor. Just seems like the best person to work with. Has an absolute heart of gold. Would sell my soul for him 100%. The best captain in the Premier League. In my opinion he should be captain of England but Gareth doesn’t like Liverpool players. I know he’d give me a whole motivational speech if I told him I was going to give up on my education. He’d 110% hold you in his arms while you cried for a whole hour. 

Ben Chilwell - 

Looks a bit like a Lego man. He has a very square head and I don’t know how to feel about it. He has some of the stupidest tattoos I’ve ever seen but in all fairness he’s a good player. Just don’t support some of the things he’s done (but I won’t go into that). Does look like a massive weirdo. Would probably be a bit scared of him when he’s drunk.

Raheem Sterling - 

Runs a bit like a dinosaur. Very good player just don’t like the fact he left Liverpool for City. The only good thing about that is the fact that he’s managed to get a decent trim now. Arguably one of the best players in the England squad but i’m still holding a grudge against him. 

Hazza Kane -

Looks like he might call me a racial slur. I would 100% be able to absolutely hammer him in a fight. Don’t really like him at all. How are you captain of your national team if you can’t even be captain of Spurs. SPURS. It’s just a bit embarrassing on his behalf. 

Reece James - 

As I said previously, he looks like he’d absolutely batter you in a fight but he’d also give you a really good hug if you were sad. Reminds me of a teddy bear. Seems like he’d have a bit of a short temper, but as long as you were his friend you wouldn’t be in danger. If you weren’t, good luck to you (RIP). 

Jadon Sancho - 

Proper joke man. Again, I’d be best friends with him because I think we have a very similar sense of humour. Would no doubt annoy every single member of the team. We’d be banned from seeing each other because we’re too annoying together. Is he okay? I haven’t seen him play in a long time. 

Declan Rice - 

My boyfriend’s best friend. We’d also be best friends. There are too many funny players in this squad, but this guy is my absolute favourite of them all. His rendition of ‘Ice, Ice, Baby’ brought tears to my eyes. Should be the new national anthem. Extremely happy he’s got a much better trim now. Does need a bit of a tan though, he looks ghostly white sometimes. He should ask Mason where the best tanning beds are. 

Kalvin Phillips and Kieran Trippier - 

Had to put these two together because I genuinely have no opinion of them. Literally who are they. 

Bukayo Saka - 

Looks like such a nice guy. The type of guy you’d bring home to meet your parents. Would offer you popcorn if he saw you around, and would always ask how you’re doing and actually mean it. Wins the award for ‘Nicest Guy’. Don’t understand how anyone could not like him. Would probably cry with you while you’re crying. 

John Stones - 

Perfect name for him tbh. Looks like he’s stoned half the time. He’d probably punch the Hazza’s for calling you a racial slur. Would be the best person to get drunk with, he’d probably try and give you (really bad) relationship advice and then convince you to sing Valerie by Amy Winehouse with him. Overall a decent guy, only downside is that he plays for City. 

[scarlet-ancunin]

Ok so I'm in love with desire and was wondering if you have ever considered righting a kind of soulmate au. If so I had the idea of one where soulmates have one eye the same color of their soulmate, and we all know that desire's eyes are unique. So what if while on his quest to get his tools or deal with the vortex dream meets the reader and instantly is like "fuck" and when he goes to see desire he also informes them that he found thier soulmate. Also bonus points if reader is nonbinary or gender neutral 🙂

I don't know if that makes sense or not but I thought it would be cool to see how it would play out, if you don't know how to go about writing thats ok as well.

Lol this one was fun to write. I changed the way dream meets them though

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

An Endless Soulmate

Dream didn't think it was possible after everything that has happened. He even called his older sister Death.

When she came and met him at the same park she saw him watching and feeding some pigeons. "This feels like a similar scene" Morpheus looked up smiling lightly "i suppose it does, but different circumstances" he said watching her sit beside him.

"What happened?" She asked. Morpheus almost pouts "you know how even us being endless has a soulmate" Death chuckles lightly "Seriously little brother you called me because you found your soulmate, what? Do you need me to introduce you two" she smirks

Morpheus sports a light blush "no i can handle it, if it was my soulmate" Death raised a brow "oh? Then who's Soulmate did you find?" Morpheus sighs before looking at his sister "Desire’s" he stated annoyed.

Death chuckles lightly "and thats a problem? Even our youngest sibling has a soulmate" she stated standing up and follow Dream when he started to walk. "I have to tell them but...after what they did i don't want to see them again at the moment."

"And you think that is fair after all they are still family, and look at it as maybe their soulmate can help them behave" she mentioned while grabbing an apple from the stand thanking the worker. Morpheus rolled his eyes "oh make them act up more"

Death and Morpheus stood in front of a community center "well Y/n helps people with cancer and such but on their off time" he turned to walk towards the back with Death.

Y/n was playing sipping a coffee while drawing the empty swings in nice detail. "I don't understand.." Morpheus said "how can someone this helpful and kind have someone like Desire as a soulmate" Death listened while watching Y/n look up from their landscape seeing one eye was gold and gave off Desire vibes.

"Just tell them, beside you never know if this could help but we can't change what we are or who is our soulmate. Now be the bigger person and tell our younger sibling" Death said patting her brothers shoulder.

Desire was amused Morpheus wanted to see them, for the reasons it caught them off guard "Do i sweet dream, and why tell me?" Morpheus sighs "because you need to know" with that he turned and walked away.

Y/n looked down at the complete drawing and smiles at how it came out. You thought about who was your soulmate wondering if you would ever find someone with golden eyes. Sighing you stood up making your way towards the center when you bumped right into someone "o-oh sorry i-....its You" you said shocked blushing lightly.

Desire smiles down at you "mmm yes it is me y/n, and we have a lot of catching up to do" you smiled up at them seeing they was just like you and you couldn't be more excited to spend time with them.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

There ya go, let me know any request you desire~

[cookiesuga55]

Chub Tae Fit Kook because we need them

Thin fit Kook having a thing for big softie marshmallow boys is CUTE

Lemme explain... tiny waist muscled JK goes for a jog and sees bigboi Tae monchin on a massive pastry plopped on a picnic blanket in the park. Fit Kook almost biffs it from how pretty the man is- round and soft- with a hand resting on his tummy as he eats. He watches the fluffy cutie toss little crumbs to the colorful songbirds hopping around. Jungkook realizes that he's staring... more like ogling. He quickly gets moving again on his route and tries to get the delicious-looking man out of his mind as he focuses on the rhythm of his breath and pumping of his legs.

But, an hour later, when he's circled his entire running path and jogging back through the park to get home, he finds that the cute man is still in the same place. He's got a sketchbook propped up and an empty pastry box next to him from the bakery down the street. Kook tries very hard not to stare at the way the man's round belly is pooled in his lap as he draws.

In a rush of impulse, Jungkook jogs over, wondering what the hell he's doing. And before he can even think it though, he's saying, "hey."

The round man looks up at where Jungkook awkwardly stands. He's got big curious eyes, strong lips, full cheeks, a head of curly brown hair, and a cute freckle on his lip. It only takes a second before his concentrated drawing face is shifting into a friendly boxy smile, and his eyes are squinting adorably.

Kook has to keep his breath from hitching at how gorgeous he is.

"Hi!" He says cheerily, like he isn't talking to a complete stranger.

Jungkook realizes that he's covered in sweat, his nylon long-sleeve plastered to his chest and biceps uncomfortably, and his hair is dripping from running hard. He probably doesn't smell great either. He mentally chides himself for not talking to this cutie before his cardio workout back when he first saw him. He would have been clean and clear-headed and maybe even... attractive? He wouldn't be soaked with sweat like he is right now, and his heart wouldn't be racing from sprinting for the past hour.

"I um-" he mumbles smartly, now unsure what to do with himself. His cheeks feel warm. How do people even flirt? This is terrifying.

The soft man tilts his head, expression shifting back into concern. "Hey, is everything okay? Do you need help?" How is he being so sweet to a stranger? Jungkook would think that a person doing what he's doing right now is a freaking psycho.

It just falls out of him. "You're really cute." What the hell, Jungkook?

The man's expression changes so quickly it's almost comical. It looks like he's been slapped. "Huh?" He blinks hard.

Oh fuck. Jungkook cannot believe he just said that. He really considers turning on his heel and sprinting away.

Instead, he repeats that fact. Even if his voice dies off with his burst of confidence fizzling away. "I- um- I said you're really cute..." His cheeks feel even hotter.

"Me?" The guy's eyebrows shoot up and he points to his chest. Jungkook almost cracks a joke along the lines of 'no, I was talking to the pigeons.'

He swallows hard and bucks up his courage, but, like everything, it doesn't come out quite right. "Yeah- You're gorgeous and I'm awkward and I think you're really really pretty and I'm sorry that I'm terrible at all of... you know," he waves his hands in the air like nervous moths.

"Flirting?" the man finishes for him, and gives a cute giggle.

Jungkook nods silently, cheeks hot.

"Let me make it easy for you," the guy moves the empty pastry box and pats the small space left next to him on the picnic blanket. He motions for Jungkook to sit down next to him.

Somehow, his feet move forwards and he successfully sits down, heart slamming in his chest for a completely different reason than his workout.

The man lifts a chubby hand and delicately brushes some falling strands of hair off of Jungkook's forehead, looking at him with sincere intensity. He smiles, cute and boxy, radiant and kind, and... Jungkook thinks he might just melt on the damn spot.

"We'll start simple," the man murmurs in his honey deep voice, "My name is Kim Taehyung..."

[embearsilly]

Hello! Call me Anarchy Anon! Take your time with this please. Can you maybe do a c! SBI + platonic husbands that are all exploring the nether and they find "The NetherVoid" Also find the "Quartress" Then Tommy drags Tubbo and Ranboo to the "Quartress" to steal stuff, but Blaze Empress reader caches them and about to send blaze guards, but Philza (first one to realize the trio was gone) stopped reader and reader recognized Phil [because he is a old and good friend of hers] {Season 4 Lore}

Don’t Steal From The Empress

Ooooooooh, this is such a cool idea! Also, hello new anon, could I have your pronouns please! I changed it up a bit. Hope its to your liking.

Pronouns - She/her

Warnings - slight explicit language, small mention of nsfw (just saying that someone got busy and nothing else)

The sickening humid air flowed around the crimson dimension. The heat is almost unbearable unless you are used to it.

Loud footsteps rang out around the blonde as he ran through the large nether fortress, two pairs following close behind.

“Tommy! Wait up!” The ram hybrid called after the blonde haired boy. Ranboo followed after the two, close behind his husband, Tubbo.

The blonde skillfully weaved around the monsters which roamed the hall of the fortress, the other two struggling to keep up.

After around a few minutes of non-stop running the blonde boy finally came to a halt. Tubbo was the first to reach Tommy while Ranboo was huffing and puffing behind them, trying to catch his breath.

“Tommy,” Tubbo paused, letting out a huge breath of air before he continued, “where are we going.”

The blonde gave the hybrid his signature innit grin before he began to speak, “Well yesterday I was exploring the nether void and was messing around when I found something that was almost as cool as a big man here.”

Tommy began to mine away at the ground when all of a sudden he dropped down into the abyss. Ranboo let out a gasp while Tubbo looked down the hole noticing the boy falling onto a white thing down below. Tubbo glanced at Ranboo before jumping in, Ranboo following after.

When they soon were greeted with a large white fortress which they fell on top of, no it was more castle than a fortress. It’s quartz walls stood around thirty blocks tall, a tower on each corner. In the center of it stood a large castle with towers on all corners of that as well. In front of them was a beautifully crafted bridge that hung over the lava.

The two husbands looked on in awe at the castle, I mean they had seen amazing builds before but nothing like this, it was marvelous.

“What, who's is it?” Questioned the enderman. Tommy shrugged his shoulders and continued down the path leading towards the kingdom.

Tubbo noted the two guards standing at the entrance of the large doors, they were tall and looked buff.

“Tommy don’t you think this might be a tad bit dangerous,” Ranboo’s  tail flicked from side to side as he continued, “I mean what if these people aren’t friendly, we might be killed.”

Tommy let out an annoyed huff, “Has that ever stopped me before?” he questioned.

“Look, I have a plan! We sneak in there, find some shiny things, borrow them and get out of there.” Tubbo raised a brow at the ‘borrow’ part.

“Are you going to be returning what you ‘borrowed’.” Tubbo air quoted when he spoke.

“No."

“Then that’s not borrowing. It’s stealing Tommy.” Tommy rolled his eyes and glanced at the guards.

“Look, I promise nothing bad is going to happen, okay? We get I and then we get out! kapeesh?”

Ranboo and Tubbo glanced at each other, going with what the other would say.

“Okay, we're in.” Tommy pumped his fist in the air. “Let’s goooooo.”

Tommy struggled against the grip of the guard, he was much shorter than them.

“Let go of us, and we won’t tell the great Technoblade about this!” The guard only let out a small chuckle as he led Tommy to a larger room.

Behind Tommy was Ranboo and Tubbo who were being forced to go the same way as he was going.

Ranboo was panicking, his heart beat picking up to high speeds. Tubbo placed his hand on Ranboo’s shoulder, “Everything is going to be okay."

They were led into a large room, which Ranboo believed to be the throne room possibly due to the large throne which stood at the end of the room.

As they made it down the hall Ranboo began to make out the person sitting on the throne.

She stood around nine feet tall, maybe taller than that. Around her were 3 pairs of arms on either side of her, they weren’t attached to her body which made Ranboo wonder how she could move them. Around her arms were the regular blaze rods which circled around her.

Her crown looked like antlers; it was a crimson red. She was a sight to behold. Her dress.

Standing beside her throne were two guards, the one on her right had their mouth gaped open and the one on her left had a smile on their face, they stood around 9 feet.

The woman narrowed her eyes when she spotted the boys coming down the hall, standing up to her full height. She was actually thirteen feet tall, making her tower over the enderman and the others.

When they finally came to a stop the four guards kneeled in front of the empress. She glared at the three boys before drifting over to them.

Ranboo stared in awe when he made eye contact with her, she snarled, "I didn’t think that the Ender King would send one of his own kin to die, oh wait I forgot he already did that to every single one of his subjects, now the only ones left live in the overworld and here in the nether. He was too greedy, he wanted every biome and dimension in his world, he instead fucked it all up and caused a mass extinction.” her voice echoed around them.

“You talk too much, woman.” She narrowed her eyes at the blonde and growled, “You were caught stealing, and I do not-"

“We weren’t stealing, we were just borrowing.” The Empress let out a thunderous laugh.

“A thief and a liar, now what I was about to say, thieves in my kingdom are given the penalty of death.” Ranboo’s heart stopped.

“Now how would-“ she was interrupted by a loud voice, “Y/n! Stop!” The empress lifted her head trying to locate the source of the voice, when she saw it.

“Philza Minecraft,” she called out, he flew down the hall and landed in front of her, bowing his head in respect.

Phil had been brewing some potions with Techno when he noticed something was off.

“Techno. Does something seem a tad bit off to you mate?” Techno paused for a moment before shaking his head no.

“I think today has turned out to be a good day though, its been a while since we’ve had one of those.” Phil nodded before returning to brewing.

All of a sudden he let out a loud gasp making the pigeon hybrid jump slightly.

“The boys!”

“Y/n L/n, s’been a while.” he let out a small chuckle. He glanced at the boys shooting them a ‘we’ll talk when we get home’ look.

“We can talk in a few moments. I'm in the middle of something if you can’t see.” she glanced back at the boys.

Phil put his hands up in front of him, “Yeah, I noticed, but I have to interrupt you with this. I can’t let you execute them,” he let out a loud huff, “they’re mine."

The empress raised a brow, “They are your kids, I would have never known, I mean the blonde here shows no manners, and is a liar. The next one here is a ram hybrid and the other an enderman hybrid.”

“Yes, yes I know. The blonde is my son, the other two are his friends.” She let out a small chuckle, “For a moment I thought you had a way with the ladies."

“I must apologize for the three of them, if you may spare them and punish them some other way.” She raised a brow and let out a sigh.

“As long as they return what they have stolen and apologize, I will give them no punishment.” The blonde cringed slightly at the thought of apologizing to her.

The other two apologized right away while it took Tommy a bit more to get himself to apologize.

“Thank you Y/n,” Phil dipped his head for her. “We will meet again soon.” she nods a goodbye before taking her place on her throne once more.

Once they had been escorted out of the kingdom Phil had smacked all three of them on the back of the head. “What were you idiots thinking.” he placed his hand on his head, “My god you three could’ve died if I didn’t show up.”

“We had it under control.” The blonde whined, “No we didn’t.” the other two said in unison."

“You guys are supposed to have my back on these kinds of things.” Tommy let out an annoyed huff.

Let's just say that they were all grounded.

[moonlit-ivy-writes]

TAKE MY BREATH

hawks x reader

tw: mentions of suicide

edit: im posting roughly so ignore mistakes they will be fixed later or not hsjsj

editor: @herp-a-derp

taglist:

@theeafricanprincess

@mirayasimpinghard

(Prologue) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (chapter 4) (chapter 5)

i saw the fire in your eyes

You didn't see him again until next Friday night. You were now three shots in, dancing with a random person whose name they’ve mentioned three times but you can’t seem to retain.

Your eyes wander, hovering up to the v.i.p. loft; to all the ‘somebodies’ of this god awful city. You lock eyes with a familiar face, golden irises reflecting the club lights. He had been watching you for sometime now. He had noticed you earlier as you got hit on by some loser at the bar when all you were trying to do was get yourself a drink, but Mr. Pushy’s face was just begging to be baptized in tequila and lime. He grinned to himself, admiring your bold rejection.

You saw that cocky smirk. Even from afar it still took up most of his dumb features. You rolled your eyes and tried to ignore the way his gaze taunted you. Not giving him the pleasure of watching you any longer, you made your way to the exit. Shifting your way through the stifling crowd, you intended to gain some fresh air from the cold outside.

You lit a cigarette once your feet hit the sidewalk, taking in a deep inhale to calm your nerves. Collecting your drunken thoughts together for a decision, either try a different club or go home. No, you knew exactly where you wanted to be.

.

.

He lost sight of you in the sea of intoxication. He leaned forward in his chair, as if moving slightly closer would help him focus on your silhouette.

“What's got your panties in a knot, pigeon?” He was questioned by his friend sitting across from him. Tall, scarred, handsome, and looking like he wanted to be anywhere else, he was starting to get annoyed from watching Hawks watch you for half the night. Annoyed that Hawks had called him to this stupid club for a meeting and is now wasting his time fawning over some bitch.

“None of your business Dabi,” Hawks returned his attention to him.

“You’re absolutely fucking right, Pigeon,” Dabi chuckled to himself, leaning towards Hawks to make sure he kept his attention this time. “Here’s my fucking business,” Dabi slid an envelope on the table in between them. “Don’t forget your end of the deal.”

“I won't.” Hawks locked his jaw, shoving the envelope in his jacket pocket and looking back out to the crowd. “Now if you’ll excuse me,” Hawks stood up, making brief eye contact with Dabi, before turning to leave the club

.

.

It took you longer to gain access to the rooftop than expected. Must be the drinks. You stumbled your way across the roof seeking therapy from that familiar ledge you threw yourself from last week.

Stopping dead in your tracks when you heard that irritating sound of giant wings slapping the air.

Not him again.

“Here to kill my vibe?” you didn't bother to turn and face him, smirking to yourself.

“Just making sure you don’t do anything stupid, princess,” his voice was soft and kind. Not at all matching the energy you were giving.

Here he goes again, pretending to be ‘heroic’, you thought to yourself.

“Oh?” You turn your head aside to look at him, flashing a coy smile. Your eyes caught his and, in a fleeting second, tossed him a look that screamed test me. “You mean like this?”

You took off in a dead sprint, straight for the edge. You pushed yourself as fast as you could, willing your legs to go even further beyond their limits. You had to move, had to escape before those damned false memories could return, before he could grab you.

Before your doubts csught up to you…

You dived over the edge.

This time, he couldn’t react fast enough.

Hawks stumbled forward before leaping into flight. Reaching out his hand to attempt to grab your ankle, just seconds out of reach.

That feeling of fear and excitement has overtaken your body again.

The wind stung your open eyes, as you watched the cars and people below grow larger as you fell faster. Your hands extended desperately, willing yourself to reach your desired goal.

Smiling…

so close

You were almost there….

[bondsmagii]

re: being immune to cults....same? like I feel like for me it's less of a "I don't want to be lovebombed" and more just "oh shit that meeting was TODAY? sorry I fell asleep after work" or like "oh I'm sorry I saw your text about this event and I totally meant to reply and I wrote out two sentences but then I forgot and it's been two weeks oops!" like. I am not immune to cult ideology. but I am too socially incompetent to actually get sucked into one, because cults take up WAY too much time that I would rather spend just sort of chilling on my own.

yeah, that's another thing I wouldn't be able to keep up with lmao. all the meetings and responsibilities... like I know cults deliberately keep you busy and heavily involved so you have less time to think about it and also as much of your life as possible revolves around it, but I have a very low tolerance for doing shit that involves other people and my own time is something I both value and need to stay sane. if a cult was all up in my business demanding this or that from me, I would sincerely start hating them. I don't care how much they told me my soul was doomed or whatever; I would be outta there.

as for cult ideology, I really don't think I'm that way inclined. I am too contrary. like, ever since I was a child I've been kind of obnoxious about it -- I ask too many questions, and as soon as I sense blustering, ill-preparedness, or suspect bullshit, I am like a bat out of hell trying to pin down exactly what it is and then call the person out. I can be quite pedantic and I'm so Like That in arguments that multiple teachers have said I could be a lawyer (derogatory). I thrive on chaos and I will always choose to throw a cat among the pigeons. I sincerely believe that any cult I wandered into would kick me out, as has basically happened twice already. my desire to expose untruths or hypocrisy is so strong that even growing up with abusive parents didn't stop me -- I mouthed off to them more than anyone, and probably made my life significantly more difficult, but I cannot abide bullshit and I cannot suffer not confirming facts and statements for myself. I need to fucking know.

does this make me a pain in the whole ass? yes. but it has its advantages.

[jostepherjoestar]

* kicks in the door * Risotto, Prosciutto, Melone and Mista, Bruno, Giorno when they have to hide in a very tight place on a mission with fem member. Not too perverse, but a little, if possible ;)

Risotto, Prosciutto, Melone and Mista and Bruno having to hide in a tight place with fem!member HC’s

fem reader // suggestive (slight nsfw)

Ohohooo this one’s a good one!!! The flavour in this request? Immaculate! Also you’re getting us a new door ok? (btw I dropped Giorno from the ask since 18+ reader sorry friend)

Risotto

So much has gone amiss on this mission. Whatever could go wrong did, honestly it was the worst a hit has ever gone. Even for Risotto. It wasn’t even you guy’s fault. Your target just kept getting lucky and you two the opposite.

You were starting to get frustrated, sighing deeply whenever the target yet again evaded your attacks by just a hair. Risotto was getting antsy as well, but he had to keep his cool and focus. He finally saw and opening that would have a guaranteed hit. And oh god it did, finally your assignment was over.

Or so you thought. While leaving the building a whole parade of your target’s goons had showed up to finish you two. Time to run! Risotto was on the lead, making quick turns in alleys, jumping over obstacles like he’d been doing it all his life. You couldn’t help but be impressed and stare at his agility and the way his muscled body twisted.

In your distraction you hadn’t noticed he’d stopped in his tracks. You were headed for a fall until Risotto’s strong hand pulled you into his embrace into a small separation between buildings. Overwhelmed by the fast turn of events, being so close to your capo made your head spin. His smell was musky and woodsy but so refined.

Your head was pressed against his chest, the tightness of the split not really made to accommodate two. Both of you breathing heavy, starting to feel his large hand resting on the small of your back, holding you into him. Your capo didn’t say anything, he was still on the lookout for the goons that had been chasing you.

You didn’t mind your head having to rest on his chest but the way your legs were twisted was starting to get very uncomfortable. As you repositioned them, placing one leg in between Risotto’s, you accidentally brushed against a very sensitive spot of his. Risotto cleared his throat at the movement. “I think we’ve lost them. Are you ok?”

His voice reverberated in your ears from his closeness and you felt goosebumps rise on your skin. You could only muster a “Uhu.” in response. When you finally got out of the crevice, Risotto’s hand had moved to your hip. “Sorry for pulling you all of the sudden.” he said while letting go of you. “Oh... no. Don’t worry, it was nice.” before you realised what you said your face turned red from embarrassment as you saw his dimple appear in a satisfied grin. Maybe he’ll pull you closer more often if it meant he could see your embarrassed blushy face again.

Prosciutto

The closet felt tight around you, squished between luxurious coats and your colleague. You had been at a party, masquerading as each other’s dates. The fancy gala was but a front to a highly organised trade. A lot of Passione’s high ranking members were attending, thinking your capo had sent his two representatives to pay respects.

But in actuality you’d both been there on the job. There had been some betrayals and Prosciutto and you were the cleanup crew. But you’d almost been found out. Before they could, your blond haired companion pushed you into a coat closet filled with the fanciest materials. But it was so. freaking. tight.

Because of the situation you had to wrap your arms around his neck while he held onto your waist. You could feel his hands get warmer by the minute, if it weren't for the lack of light in the tight closet you’d be sure to see his angry scowl covered in blush.

Your breasts were practically shoved into his face, feeling his nervous breaths on your mounds. You couldn’t help but notice how nervous he was getting as time went on. Even teasing him by squishing his hair buns. “Hey stop touching those. My hairspray costs more than your dress, I’ll have you know!” he barked into a whisper.

It only made you laugh silently, the movement of your body only pressing you closer. You were starting to burn up too now, more from the warmth of the coats beside you. “Do you think it’s safe to go out?” you whispered. “No, just a little longer. They like to linger. Stupid drunks.” his hushed voice tickling your chest.

As you readjusted yourself as best as you could, you swear you heard Prosciutto whimper. It was soft but you heard it. Curious and not shy to find out you moved again in the same manner as before. Your tightly spun colleague hissing in reply. “Could you not do that please? Your leg is in a uhh.. special spot.”

“And you’ve practically moved into my cleavage but you don’t hear me moaning about it.” You scoffed in reply. That was the final straw, Prosciutto opened the door to the closet, quickly checked if it was safe and stepped out without helping you. As predicted he looked like an angry cooked lobster about to explode. The sight only making you laugh. Wait, did his pants get tighter... or is he just happy to see you?

Melone

Illuso forcefully pushed you into the to the small indent in the wall behind some curtains that reach all the way to the ceiling of the fancy home. Melone and you dangled into each other while Illuso closes the thick curtain before you two. “And be quiet, we can’t get caught. I’ll get you back when it’s safe.” With a big sigh he leaves you two, arms twisted into each other, faces only a breath away.

“He’s so dreamy, right?” you jabbed at Illuso to the slight lavender haired man in front of you. He huffed out a laugh, remembering all the insults the two have thrown at each other in the past. You’d only just began to notice how close you were to your partner. It was a three person mission this time but Illuso had taken the lead and asked, more like demanded, you two to hide in case of uninvited visitors.

It was the short and boring end of the stick. Although the situation you are in now, wasn’t that boring after all. Melone breathed into your neck unabashed letting out a soft moan. You’d grown used to his advances and didn’t really mind it. He amused you with his weird behaviour so you let him be. His cyan eyes staring at back at you, mischief behind them.

You tapped your foot impatiently against the floor doing your best not to make too much noise. “Why so tense bella? Is it me?” Melone playfully asked, something of a seductive tone behind his voice. He picked up a strand of hair that was resting against the side of your face, playing with it between his fingers. “No. I just want to get this over with.” you huffed in annoyance. “Well then, I’ll make it a little more enjoyable mhh.” he purred into your neck as he leaned in to kiss it. His soft lips pecking into your sensitive skin, moving to your collarbone.

Somewhat surprised at his forwardness but enjoying it none the less, you snaked your arm around his waist to pull him closer. You wanted to see how far this could go. You could feel him smile against your skin while he kissed it, knowing that his actions were allowed. His ministrations only going further, he made his way lazily onto your chest. Kissing along the edge of your top, his hands exploring the rest of your body. A stifled moan coming from you as he squeezed your behind.

Oh you didn’t mind at all. Your hands had also not been keeping still, roaming his hips and toned behind as well. Melone gently pulled away from your skin giving you a hungry look. He looked about ready to pounce. You returned the look letting him know this was happening. With a sly grin he moved to his knees, now gently holding onto your hips pecking soft kisses into your stomach.

He was on his way downward when the thick curtain swung back open. Illuso standing there, arms crossed with an unamused look. “You have got to be fucking kidding me! Now? Really?” he huffed out. Melone tutted while standing back up, no shame in getting caught. You felt yourself blush a little, trying to hide it behind a nervous smile. “Guess we’ll have to continue at a later time, unless you don’t mind watching Illuso?” Melone retorted. You smacked his head in response, still not sure if you’d be able to continue this little situation at a later time.

Mista

“Is it... because there’s four pigeons on that bench over there?” you asked in a singsongy tone. “No.” Mista replied in annoyance while sighing. “And stop guessing, it has nothing to do with THAT number. Stop saying it, it’s making me even more nervous.” he scolded you.

While waiting for the rest of your team to arrive, Mista and you got into a bit of a sticky situation. While out on a mission you got attacked by a standuser who had frozen you two in quite an unfortunate position so they could get away. Mista had fallen on top of you, his hands still holding onto you back, his cheek right beside yours as his body loomed over you. The stand’s attack was wearing off slowly but you definitely needed your team’s help.

Mista had been acting very nervous and you were trying to pull the answer out of him to no avail. “Are your arms getting tired maybe?” you tried one last time. “Yea sure, it’s my arms.” he sighed not even convinced of his own answer. You were on the receiving end of a more fortunate position. Just lounging underneath your colleague, enjoying the view of the sky.

Your warm cheeks were pressed together offering a bit of warmth, a chilly wind had been blowing all day causing the rest of your bodies to grow goosebumps. “I’m getting kind of hungry, you?” you tried to fill the silence. “Stop talking please.” Mista sounded like he was practically pleading. “Tell me why you’re so nervous and I’ll shut up till the others arrive.” you retorted confidently.

It was the longest sigh you ever heard come out of someone. Why was he dreading this so much? Was he in that bad of a position? Finally after the deep long sigh and some convincing on his side Mista finally spoke. “Every time you talk your boobs rub on my chest and it feels good ok! I’m not trying to be inappropriate but you smell nice and you’re pretty but still my teammate. I’m just... trying to keep myself calm and it’s hard when you keep talking and rubbing all over me!”

You let out a chuckle in response, wow. That was more than you ever thought there was going on at this moment. You felt a little bad for teasing him with all those questions but satisfied that he said those nice things about you. “Well... don’t you have an answer?” Mista nervously asked. “I thought I was supposed to shut up from now on?” you whispered in amusement. Get ready for the longest annoyed groan ever. When did Giorno say they were coming to pick you up again?

Bruno

While waiting for your mission to start and looking out for the guy you’d be meeting up with, your capo and you had been standing in an indent of a building down the dark alley you had stated as your meeting place. Your guest was late and the position you were in was growing a little uncomfortable since your legs were hurting from standing in one place for so long.

Bruno was squished against the back of the indent, letting you stand in front of him with his arms clasped around your middle. This was the only way that you weren’t showing yourselves if anyone other than the guy you were meeting would enter the alley. Your stand was out on top of a building above as a lookout.

It was comfortable to be leaning back into Bruno, his chin resting on your shoulder after you told him it was alright. Strangers might even mistake you for a sappy couple hugging in an alley. Comfortably giving off warmth to each other, you’d been silently talking with your capo about your lives, hobbies you missed, funny stories that happened.

A nice glass of wine and some snacks would have made it quite a fun date. But the closeness of your superior served just as well. While moving to lean on your other leg since your feet were hurting your behind rubbed against his groin, a soft sharp inhale coming from the man behind you. “Sorry Bruno, I forgot...” embarrassed and growing more and more red by the second.

It was just that his touch had grown so familiar. Maybe a little too familiar, you felt your thoughts go further and further. The dirtiest parts wanting to feel your capo’s reactions to your movements, his warm breaths in your ear as you hear him enjoy your ministrations, softly calling your name as he comes undone. But before your mind can wander any further Bruno’s hands let go and grip your hips on either side.

His hands holding on firmly, keeping you frozen in position. “You were still doing it.” he softly said, his breath tickling your neck. Shit. Your imagination ran wild and so did your thighs as they rubbed together against him. You weren’t sure if you’d reached the peak of your embarrassment.

It seemed like your meeting partner wasn’t showing up so you called back your stand and moved out of the indent. Finally being able to face your capo, you saw his rosy cheeks and chest. Smiling at his disheveled hair and look. “Here, let me straighten you out.” you said as you carefully put back the stray hairs. You swear you could see him melt into your touch, swallowing deeply as his blue eyes bore into yours.