#what kind of father hears that their kid might have cancer and makes fun of them for being worried?

[littledewdrops2]

Okaaaaayyy

It really makes me sad when people read about a placement and just hole themselves in that box. Astrology is a reflection, when you think about how the way you are raised effects how you perceive things as an adult, it makes sense if you view your natal chart as a book of your life. I have a lot of trauma, and I'll be honest and say my kids have some inherited placements that I look at and panic at sometimes. You are not doomed to repeat the patterns though, a lot of the placements I see with my kids are karmic and they have generational trauma shown in their charts. For instance they have pluto/moon aspects like me and my mom and my sisters. However, their placement isn't as tight of an orb as us. I view this as improvement that could be built upon if they chose to have children too. My daughter has mercury in 12th, I make sure to listen to her EVERY TIME her soft spoken self talks. I stop other people and give her my full attention. My son has his sun in 8th, I make sure he has space to be alone and process, we talk a lot about healthy expression, and his father all the time. You can do these things for yourself too, make yourself a priority, commit to doing things better because you deserve that. I have a cancer mars and my drive has been something I struggle with and burning myself out while I try and care for others (also my moon in taurus in 12th), I love caring for others but self care is hard. I write, I ask for breaks and take time to process, I go to therapy, shoot I even have a boundary to shower every day. I do what I need to express my anger and sadness in a healthy manner.

Also I wish that more people, when they ask questions about their placements, would use that to examine their life a bit more. You know yourself and your life best. For example I'm a sag sun, in 7th, taurus moon in 12th, mercury conj pluto in 6th. The two people that effected me in the best way were my grandparents. My grandma was a Libra sun and a pisces moon. My grandpa was a Sag sun and a virgo moon. It's no coincidence that my planets fall there because growing up I wanted to emulate the people that treated me best. My grandpa always told me, "if it is meant to be, it is up to me", my scorpio mercury and it's conjunction to pluto in the 6th, is a direct reflection of how seriously I took what he said. My chart ruler is my mercury actually, I have held on to that advice and been determined to turn my life around. (Also my mom and dad have no pisces personal placements and no libra, no virgo)

My grandpa valued having a good time and having adventures. He wanted to provide for his family and be a pillar. Then I grew up wanting a partner who was loyal and fun and kind and makes me smile, one I could build with. I think that's pretty reflective of my venus in capricorn (leo degree), in 9th.

Your parents come with their own ideas, values and unique experiences. Their words to you become your inner voice. Always keep in mind that we didn't birth ourselves. We learned these things somewhere. A bit of reflection helps a lot, what did your parents value/did you get along and want to emulate that/do you have easy aspects or hard aspects/who else influenced you/in what ways/can you see the reflection in that? Before stressing out over someone's comment on your placements, R E F L E C T. My kids would hate me if my chart really determined how my life was going to go (because of all the stressful aspects) but hey here I am doing the work I need to do and my relationship with my children is extremely fulfilling and loving and I see the connection in the things I value and how I parent and my kids charts and what they may have taken from me.

Last long winded example lollll, I deeeeeply value being open minded and non-judgemental, education is important to me and activism is too. My son has a stellium in the 9th house with his moon there. As if his mom isn't a sag sun with venus in 9th lolol. My daughter has sun and venus in 11th. Both my kids are libra rising and my daughter is a libra moon in 1st. I already hear them talking about "doing the right thing", justice and helping people sooo much.

I'm wholly planning on teaching my kids that they have the power to transform their life. On one hand, I know sun in the 8th can be very hard and on the other I believe that that placement can be super beneficial if I can help him tap into the positive energy. My daughter has pluto in 4th. I can't do anything about what they've already experienced except to help teach them that they do have the power to break these cycles. (I don't remember who's blog but I read someone say that pluto in 4th can mean that your mom emphasized being able to transform your life, which would be spot on for us.)

You don't have trouble in love because you have chiron in the 7th. You have trouble because your examples of relationships might not have been the best or you struggle to put yourself above your partner because maybe you don't feel good about yourself etc. Chiron in 7th is reflective of the struggle, it's not the reason for the struggle.

Long af, just to say never give up on yourself and it will be okay. 💞💖✨ You certainly aren't doomed. Also envy is a sign that you have an unmet need so maybe if you are feeling envious over a placement, be nice to yourself and give yourself a little extra self love.

[mimzy-writing-online]

How do you handle casual ableism especially ableism that’s said to be “a joke”? I am blind and I get this all the time and it’s so annoying because I can’t win.

If it’s said by someone I know I probably won’t talk to much, if ever again, I just grin and bear it. If I’m invested in this friendship or know I’ll be working with them a lot, then I’ll say something. But I do have some personal pet-peeves.

“Oh, so you’re blind, but not like, blind-blind.” 

Whenever I explain to someone new that I’m visually impaired and what I see, I sometimes get the “oh, so you’re blind, but not like, blind-blind.” and I just... *internal screaming*

I hate it because it reinforces this hierarchy of “who has it worst in the world” that abled society has. It’s like saying, “oh, you’re blind, but at least you don’t have cancer.” That is insensitive to both people who are blind, people who have cancer, and people who have both. 

Everyone is going through their own stuff, and sometimes it feels debilitating and sometimes it feels normal. Undermining someone’s experiences by saying/implying someone has it worse is terrible and even worse is using that idea to say “oh, then you don’t need this accommodation that badly, you’re not disabled-disabled.”

I am blind. Just blind. I have a condition that highly affects my life and just because there are a few settings where I can pass for sighted, does not mean that I am not blind.

And those people feed my internalized ableism and imposter syndrome so that I begin to think “I’m not that blind, people have so much less sight than me” and begin to feel like I don’t deserve any of my accommodations, even my cane when my worst days hit. My cane, that thing I bought myself that affects no one apart from warning them I can’t see them, but means everything to me.

What I would like to say: “I am blind. What I’m describing might sound like no big deal to you, but it affects my life every day and I will never, under any circumstances, see as much as a sighted person. Please stop comparing my disability to other disabilities.”

“Can you use your cane as a weapon?”

It was funny the first 3-4 times I heard it, but strangers say it to me constantly and it’s just like... “oh, them Lakers” or “How’s the weather up there” or some other cliché joke that has been told to death. And these strangers don’t realize how unoriginal it is because they probably never interact with other blind people, but I hear it all the fricken time.

I’ve explained to friends that I don’t like this joke. And I have an example of it in A Witch’s Memory, specifically Ulric’s second chapter. But like, I cannot control what strangers think is funny.

What I would like to say: “I cannot. Canes are much more fragile than you think, and each one has cost me $50 each. And I’ve had... six? Over the years. And they take weeks to ship to me. I would be terrified of my cane getting damaged.”

“I bet you’re looking forward to robot eyes.”

No. I’m not. I’m really not. Leave my eyes the fuck alone.

This was waaaaaay before I was diagnosed with Visual Snow Syndrome, which is a neurological problem, not an eye problem, even if the symptoms that affect me most are visual.

And as for the ableism, there’s soooo so much in that statement:

“Oh, I bet you’re looking forward to getting cured”

“I think being blind is terrible, I would want robot eyes immediately”

And if I said that I didn’t want robot eyes ever, I’d almost always get:

“I bet it wouldn’t be that bad, you’d be a cyborg. How cool is that?”

I said no the first time. Respect that answer. It’s my body, my eyes. I’m so tired of this debate.

The only form of this conversation I will ever accept is from my best friend who admitted that he personally would jump at the chance for cybernetic enhancements, especially something that reduced chronic pain. There are some more personal issues I won’t disclose, but from his perspective I understood and we came to the acceptance that we had very different stances and that was okay so long as we respected each other’s choices.

What I would like to say: “I have considered this and personally decided that under no circumstances would I ever want this kind of surgery done to me. Please respect that choice and don’t joke about experimental surgeries with me.”

“Just consider me your personal human guide dog.”

Only one person has ever said this to me, but he’s said it several times while acting as my sighted guide and I hate it, not because there is any ableism directed at me, but because he’s calling himself less than human and I wish he treated himself better. He deserves better. My solution is just saying nice things to him every chance I get about how much I care about him and how he is good.

“Fuck you! I love you! Don’t you dare call yourself a dog. You’re amazing and I love you.”

“Well you’re able-bodied.”

Said to me by another person with a disability, specifically a chronic illness, while complaining about why I couldn’t do something for him.

It was my father.

and I just...

I have literally never not been disabled in some capacity.

I remember my ADHD affected me from the early age of six years old and how much that affected my self esteem. I started having chronic health problems (mostly due to anxiety) as soon as I entered my teenage years. The worst was when I was 19. And then I went blind.

I am in no way able-bodied. Do not throw this hierarchy of who’s more disabled at me. I physically cannot handle the task you asked me to do without physical pain following me for the rest of the day. It’s either going to have to get done by someone else, or I’m going to need help. Why do I need to be in pain all day for this?

You’re young, therefore you are able-bodied.

You means nothing in terms of disability! Lots of people are disabled, visibly and invisibly. And if your kid needs disability aids to perform normal tasks like walking safely outside, you shouldn’t be calling them able bodied.

What I would like to say: “I am not able bodied. I am far from it. What you’re asking me to do will either risk serious injury to me or will cause me serious, lasting pain. Please respect my physical limitations.”

“And on your right you and hear, smell, taste, touch the ocean.”

It was a joke by a close friend when we were on a road trip. Also, we were in a car on the freeway, literally, none of those things would be possible from that distance because all I would hear and smell would be car fumes. 

Like, okay, I know I can’t enjoy the scenic view the way sighted people can, but I am enjoying this drive in my own way. Even the visuals I can see are nice(ish). It’s stimulation, something different for my brain. I’m having fun listening to the music and your story while we move and there are shapes and faded colors passing us.

I’m experiencing this amazing road trip.

Maybe it’s not the way you would experience or best enjoy it, but I am having fun, don’t spoil it by reminding me that I’m different from you and that my experience “must be less enjoyable.”

I told him: “I don’t like those jokes. They aren’t funny to me. I don’t need to see it to enjoy it.” And he stopped. He never made another one after that drive.

(He’s also one of those people who has serious anxiety around making someone uncomfortable, and me telling him “hey I don’t like this, can we do this instead” actually helps us both, because I’m no longer uncomfortable and he can trust that I would immediately tell him if he ever did something I didn’t like. If I’m not speaking up, then I am good. And I can trust that he will stop as soon as I tell him to, and that I can always speak up if I need to.)

[chimtaesty]

One Last Time

pairing: ai!hoseok x reader / 2.7k words

warnings: angst, talks of death and illness (fluff, superficial intelligence, fluff, long lost love, futuristic)

plot: After living a long life you get the chance of seeing your long lost love again, but to a price you are willing to pay.

A/N: hi! I'm kinda active with writing and i had this idea a few days ago so i sat my ass down and wrote this in one night. I want to clarify that this au is inspired by an episode of black mirror. This made me tear up a lil while writing so I hope you like it and you'll stay tuned for more of my works

masterlist

Life has been kind to you, a daughter, two sons and a kind husband. Nothing that you wanted or worked for hasn’t not worked out the way you wanted it to. When you were twenty five you met your husband, Jinyoung. He helped you through life and helped you take care of the kids. Even the one that wasn’t his. Jihyo wasn’t his child and yet he loved her with all the love he could give her.

Jinyoung passed away about twelve years ago due to heart failure. You felt bad that you didn’t grieve like your children did, you didn’t love him like that, you never did. He was more like a best friend than a lover. A man, who died before Jihyo was born, owned your heart and he knew that.

Jung Hoseok, that was his name. Now, even though you weren’t able to move the way you wanted to, you could feel your body move to his. He was a great dancer and he loved dancing, no matter where, no matter who saw him, he danced like no one ever could. It made you feel light, oh so light. The feeling he gave you was indescribable, not a single person ever made you feel this way again.

“Mum, wake up” you hear Jaebeom's voice. Your second oldest visits when he can. You appreciate the effort. “Mum, wake up. It’s your birthday and we want to celebrate with you.” Your eyes open slower than you want and behind droopy eyes you see the faces of your children, Jaebeom, Jihyo and Youngjae. A smile plasters itself on your wrinkly face.

“My babies, what brings you here” Youngjae rolls his eyes at you as he chuckles “It’s your birthday today. We want to celebrate with you” you gasp slightly, trying to sound surprised. Of course you know, the day you were born is the same day the love of your life left this planet. “Don’t act like you don’t know. Your brain works faster than you give it credit, Mum” Jihyo laughs. You chuckle and wave her off.

“Look, Mum. We actually wanted to tell you something” Jaebeom starts and your laugh dies right there. His tone doesn’t excite you, not in the slightest. “What, honey?” your hand finds his and he assures you with a small smile “We all know how your chances of living another year stand. The cancer has spread and your body won’t withstand it any longer.” You nod, that you are going to die, pretty soon, is nothing new. You are prepared and so are your children.

“We thought about a way to make it more comfortable” Jihyo continues and your brows furrow. You talked about hospice, and you didn’t like it. Why are they bringing this up again? “Jihyo, hun. I am not going to leave the country to die.” Youngjae shakes his head and grasps your other hand. “No, mum. We are talking about a way of you getting to live forever, in peace and without pain. You might have heard of Daydream. It’s a non profit organisation which makes it possible to transfer one's consciousness to their database and to a place called Base Line. “

Your brain is running miles as soon as he starts to talk about “base line”. You know exactly what he is talking about, he used to talk about it all the time. Hoseok liked the idea of being together in eternity. “We thought about it. Since you’re not willing to die early and we all know about your undying love for a man who died a long time ago. We were able to get you a spot in daydream. They are willing to download you and give you what you craved for all these years.”

Your mind goes into panic. How can you live forever, forever in a place that Hoseok dreamed about?. How can you spend your eternity with Jinyoung when the person you so dearly love isn’t him? “Jaebeom, honey. I can’t, you don’t know what you are talking ab-”Mum we know. We’ve known for years.” Youngjae almost whispers. Your eyes snap to his and you can see the sincerity. “What?” the whisper leaves your lips, it almost sounded like a whimper, so pathetic. “We’ve known for a long time that your love wasn’t his. Dad was never the man you loved, it was Jung Hoseok, Jihyos father.”

Your eyes fill with tears. They knew, they knew everything. Secrets you kept in the deepest depths of your mind have been discovered all these years ago. Your life was a lie, everything you lived to protect was a lie. “I-I-don’t-”Mum, it’s alright. We are not angry with you.” you start to cry. A violent yelp leaves your lips as all of the thoughts, emotions, memories flood back into your mind. The pain you feel is unbearable, it makes you double over in the comfort of your bed. Youngjae holds your shaking form, whispering comforting words.

“But h-he didn’t-”He did, mum. He was able to get a spot as a beta test person almost fifty years ago. His download was saved on their server. They opened his interview file about twenty years ago and tried to contact you. His reason for joining the program was you, mum. He wanted to find a way to stay with you for the rest of eternity. Dad kept it a secret but we want you to be happy. We want you to be free of pain and live a happy life with the person you love, with Hoseok.” Youngjae sobbs.

You can’t believe it. All these years he was merely miles away. The person who made you feel how no one else could, the love of your life was a few hours away from you.

xxxxx

The car ride is long, almost seven hours to go, but you don’t mind. While your children call their families, read their books or listen to their music you reminisce, you reminisce about the moments you spent with him. The memories you made with him come back.

“Come on, give it a shot.” you frown, the thought of embarrassing yourself further displeases you a lot. He smiled at you with his hands out for you. His brown straight hair frames his handsome features perfectly. The softness of his skin, the lightliness of his smile and his comforting smell that coats the air. Everything makes you smile back at him.

“You know i can’t dance, i much rather watch you dancing” it makes him chuckle and his head falls back with a wide smile plastered on his face. He shakes his head and comes closer, almost too close. A step closer and you are pressed against each other, even with the step in between you, you can feel him. The warmth, the comfort and the love.

“I don’t care about your dancing skills. I want you to have fun with me. How about this, you put your feet on mine and I guide you.” a grin escapes your features and he takes it as a yes as he pushes your feet over his. “Just follow my rhythm, I’m right here, i’ll always be” you nod and lean your head on his chest. You can hear his heartbeat, the way he breathes and the way he hums the melody to stay on tact.

“That’s it baby, just like that. You’re a natural, you’ll master the wedding dance in a heartbeat” your eyes find his as his sentence reaches your ears. He would want to marry you? “Wedding dance?” you whisper and he halts his movements. His searching eyes study yours, trying to find displeasure. “Well, yes. I would love to be married to you. No one else should be by your side, not that anyone is better than me” he chuckles and you can’t help but laugh as well.

No one was ever better than you.

“Go to sleep, mum. We have one more hour to go” Jihyo whispers behind you and puts you to sleep with a gentle rub on your shoulder. Once again you reminisce in memories, in more painful ones.

“Don’t you understand where i’m coming from? Why are you so blind, i can’t have a child right now” you shout. He rubs his temples with a frown. “I’m not forcing you to have a child, I just want to know if you want to ever-in the future- have a child with me.” he shouts back at you, the tone in his voice was angry, very angry.

Your eyes are wide and wet, trenched in tears as you back away. He doesn’t care though, he is too busy throwing the next mug on the floor. “Is it me? Would you have a child with someone else because I'm such a mess? Am i not responsible enough? Am I not enough?” he shouts and throws the plate to the floor. Porcelain shatters on the wooden floor with such anger. You’ve never seen him like this, ever and it scares you.

“No, why would you not be enough?” he laughs in the midst of his emotional breakdown. “Because it damn fucking looks like it. Did you already cheat on me, huh? Is that why you’re so damn quiet?” he steers and all you see is red. You almost sprint over to him, your body finds it’s way over the tiny kitchen island like it has done it a million times, it seems so easy. Your hand connects with his cheek with such speed that you are afraid you might’ve knocked some of his teeth out.

Hot tears coat your cheeks as you try to find your words “Don’t you ever accuse me of cheating on you. I know you are angry but this is low, very low.” you whisper. His angry eyes shut and he shoves you out of his way. He grabs the car keys and almost kicks the door open

“I’ll be out for a while, don’t wait for me”

You jolt awake with a loud gasp “Don’t go” you whisper through tears. Just as you see your son in front of you, you realise that it’s not this day, the day he left you. “Mum, are you alright?” Jihyo has a hand on your shoulder in concern. You quickly wipe the tears away to hide your emotional rukus. “Look, we’re here. Right there is the facility” Youngjae points at the big building up the road. “You almost made it, mum” Jihyo beems at you. Your little girl smiles at you with such compassion. It’s something only children are able to do, look at their parents with such love, with such adoration. Having to leave them behind weighs heavy on your heart.

xxxxx

“Mrs. Y/LN, here you will have some time to say goodbye and talk about whatever you might want to share with your family. After you are done we will inform you about the process of downloading and what we know about Jung Hoseok.” a young lady, not older than your daughter, informs you.

All of you sit down, a heavy silence dominates the room. No one is brave enough to say something, to say goodbye. “I love you-”Mum, you don’t have to-”No, Jihyo, i have to. I want you to know. I love you all so much, and I would stay much much longer by your side, if I could.” your hand finds Youngjae’s and a shaky breath leaves his mouth “Mum” Youngjae whispers.

“I’m sorry that I won’t see you children grow up, Youngjae. I’m sorry that i won’t see you get married, Jaebeom. And I’m mostly sorry that you will never see your father, Jihyo. Hoseok would’ve been such a good father. I’m sorry that things haven’t always worked out the way I wanted them to. But I’m honored to call you my children. I’m so proud of you, of everyone of you. You made me the happiest mother there could ever be. I love you and I hope that you’ll remember me as such. Not the weak, ill woman I was the past seven years. I want you to remember me as the woman who raised you, the woman who loved to dance, the woman who was strong. Do me a favor and remember me as such.”

Jihyo sobbs against your shoulder and you let her. In merely a few moments they won’t have a mother anymore. They’ll be without the support of a lifetime, without their lifeline. Without the person who gave them shelter and love, their mother.

“We’ll always remember you as the strongest woman there ever was, as our mother” Jaebeom whispers under tears. You smile and pet his head like you used to when he was little. “I’ll miss you” “Mrs. Y/LN, the transfer is ready” you are quick to stand up. “Go, live your life. Don’t be sad for too long. Grieve and cry but afterwards you have to live. Promise me to live” you grin in pain. With a kiss to each of their faces you leave the room.

xxxxx

The corridor to the room the woman is bringing you seems endless. The time it takes you to get to your love seems endless. But as she sits you down on a comfortable blue chair your heart calms down.

“My name is Nayeon and I’ll inform you about the process of downloading. We’ll connect your brain to our core and transfer your consciousness to one of our memory bots. Jung Hoseok, the man you so desperately want to meet again, was downloaded on an older memory bot. He was saved on a almost twenty year old bot when we found him so we had to transfer him to one of our younger bot models to guarantee a safe connection to our station “base line” and to your memory bot. The bot wasn’t damaged in the slightest. His consciousness was copied, as for yours is being transferred, meaning that your body won’t be usable after your download. Do you understand? Do you still want to proceed?”

“yes”

She puts several sensors on your head and injects a chip into your right temple for the transfer. Weirdly enough, your head is empty. You expected your head to run wild as soon as they started your transfer. “In less than two minutes you’ll go unconscious and wake up in the superficial world base line. Your bot will be securely stored and taken care of. I wish you a comfortable journey. bon voyage

xxxxx

You awake with a small groan as the bright sunlight burns itself into your skin. The gentle wind glides through your hair and slightly dries your eyes as you pry them open. You can smell the salty sea air and feel the rays of sunshine.

The bed you are lying in is big and comfortable, almost as comfortable as the bed you shared with Hoseok. Speaking of Hoseok, why isn’t he here? Isn’t he supposed to welcome you? Your feet find the floor as fast as possible as you run across the room. Just seconds before you dare to leave the room you catch a glimpse of the mirror facing the beach. You see yourself, not the almost seventy year old you, no, the twenty year old you. The firm skin, the still colored hair and the healthy looking body you once had faced you.

You breathlessly stumble towards the mirror to take a closer look and then, then you see him. You’re able to see the reflection of his back through the mirror. Your head whips around and you start to run. The pain, the love, all of the emotions you kept inside of you all of those years made you sprint, stumble towards him. “Hos-Hoseok!” you scream. You run with all of your strength, you hurry to the man you’ve missed so much. “God, Hoseok!” and the moment he turns around you halt. All of your limbs stop moving.

His golden skin, his beautiful face make you stop. You can’t believe that he is here, right here after all these years. “Ho-Hoseok” you manage to sobb. His face morphs into a smile as he opens his arms. “Come on, come to me, my love”

And you run again, you sprint into his arms. His warm body embraces you as you crash.

The weight pulling the both of you to the ground.

“I thought I lost you” you sobb as he strokes your hair.

“I promised you to find a way to stay by your side forever.”

[clamityganon]

hal jordan construct character!!!! yeeeeeesssss !!!!

YES he’s got so much potential!!! i’m sorry this took me so long to answer but i wanted a chance to just. spit out some thoughts i’ve been letting stew in my brain for a few months.

quick disclaimer: i am in no way a super intense hal fan or a major authority on hal, so if there are some inconsistencies i hope you forgive me because currently the only source i have right now is my galactic brain and a few panels i did a few quick searches for.

okay and one last thing before i tell you my takes and whatnot: i took a 36 question ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) practice test online at 3:30ish am to see if one of my points was on the right track and now the us military wants me to enlist. [update: i’ve come back literally a year later to edit some points and my clunky writing and guess what? the US military is still trying to get me to enlist. i might as well sign up at this point.]

let’s start at the beginning:

harold “hal” jordan as a little boy was traumatized for life after watching his father die in a plane crash.

you’d think that since something that terrible happened to someone so important to him, he’d avoid planes or anything that flies at all costs, right? well, no. even though he’s absolutely terrified of flying planes, he enrolled into the academy and became a military test pilot to follow his father’s footsteps. he actually showed up at the door on his 18th birthday before it opened against his mother’s wishes. and he does this because he wants to carry on his father’s legacy.

that sort of trauma coming with seeing your own parent getting killed never really goes away (exhibit a: batman) and from what i’ve read (i’m gonna be honest here: i have never actually read a green lantern comic before) it’s not often touched on in the JLA stuff? i think it’ll make some awesome plot material and a dramatic addition into stories, just the stuff comic fans eat up. why not write about hal jordan being traumatized and obviously covering it up with bad jokes. everybody around him gets this weird feeling that something’s up, but they don’t know how to touch on it because they don’t know where to start. and every time things get “serious” he manages to defuse the seriousness with a few well-placed (albeit bad) jokes.

this guy might be silently panicking in cockpits because suddenly he’ll get a flash of his father in the reflection of the windshield. hal’s inner monologue going something something all machines wear down at some point and there’s only a matter of time before i go down with one, especially in a line of work as risky as mine... but he doesn’t let himself get scared because he wants to be fearless. he needs to be fearless.

speaking of his father, there are some things about being a military kid which seem really interesting and different. this kind of lifestyle seems like it could make a cool mini comic or something? like how max landis’s 6 edition series american alien touches on clark’s childhood and leads up to his transition into superman, one could be created for hal. some examples of stuff would include 

moving from base to base

having trouble making long-term friends with people

a generally tougher social life

picking up some basic phrases in foreign languages

adapting to new environments

constant uncertainty about the future

ect. ect. i could go on

anyway if hal’s written by someone who was in the military or someone who's got connections to people in the military, that could be a pretty fun thing to read about.

cont.:

he was kicked out of the military for assaulting an officer, which i really wanna hear more of. i think he did it because his mother died of cancer and he had a mental breakdown which is very... severe. i wrote this down in another post but if you get a DD (dishonorable discharge) from the military you get

no veteran benefits

low chances of post-service employment because background checking treats a DD like a very severe criminal offence

he will never be able to work at the state or government level again

he loses the right to vote

he loses the right to receive government assistance of any kind

he’s not allowed to get a bank loan

ect. ect. there’s actually a handbook where they talk about the nitty gritty details you can search up “dishonorable discharge us military” and click the vetify website that pops up if you want more info

so he’s literally a criminal. there’s no better way to put it. he has these restrictions applying to him until his sentence expires, which can take between 1 year to 10? i think? it can be longer.

after this unfortunate DD, he swings a job as a test pilot for ferris aircraft because the guy who runs it was in good with his dad. test pilots also need a very specific set of skills which are:

understanding a test plan

sticking to said test plan by flying the plane in a highly specific way

carefully documenting the results of each test flight

having an excellent feel for the aircraft and sense exactly how the plane behaves (if it behaves oddly)

solve problems quickly if anything goes wrong with the aircraft during testing

coping with SO many things going wrong at once

accurately and effectively communicate flight test observations to engineers and relate those engineering results to the pilot community (to bridge the gap between those who design and build aircraft with those who employ the aircraft to accomplish a mission)

have an excellent knowledge of aeronautical engineering to understand how and why planes are tested

basically, you have to be an above-average pilot with excellent analytical skills. it’s funny that he doesn’t have many options for jobs even though he could easily be super over-qualified for a lot of them.

i know he’s cocky, and sarcastic, and arrogant which makes him seem like any other SoCal fboy who you’d never approach while walking downtown, but if he has to spend time taking note of how planes fly and giving engineers tune-up advice he has to be smart. the ASVAB test i took wasn’t hard, but if you’re a pilot and specifically a pilot who checks up on planes by flying them, you’ve got to have a certain IQ level.

imagine how stressful that job is. the pressure of not letting someone crash like his dad while flying. i have so much respect for him because of this. imagine how over time, he’s gotten used to being under tight deadlines and having high expectations thrust upon him. having him being a bit of a perfectionist. he could defuse a space bomb.

to summarize that little chunk, he’s the type of guy that comes off as a... piece of work, but is actually pretty smart once you put him up to the challenge. and it drives other people-- mainly the ones who have him pegged as “bane of my existence”-- insane because goddammit, hal, you’re not allowed to be good at these kinds of things when you act like a literal thirteen year old boy. i don’t know where i’m going with this headcanon, to be honest. i just like the idea of something like this going on:

green lantern, looking at the batwing: i think that needs a new combustor and a decent fan cleaning. maybe a little adjusting on the oil filter? batman: how do you know all this? green lantern, having worked with planes since he was eighteen and now his hair is turning gray: i don’t know. maybe i got lucky.

let’s talk about him as green lantern (god bless google and reddit for the panels because as i have said. i’ve never read a GL comic. i had no idea if i was going insane or not over this):

so hal was the first human green lantern (i’m ignoring alan scott right now, so sorry king) and on top of already being a historical figure like that, he’s also one of the “most legendary bearers to wield a power ring” source: dude trust me. it’s out there somewhere even if i can’t pull out the panel from google. some of his accomplishments that i can think of right now are:

he forged his own ring

only guardians have the power and knowledge to forge a ring and have it be functional

he has pure will which is stronger than your regular old normal will

he killed sinestro (who i’m pretty sure was in yellow lantern mode)

who was, might i add, possessed by parallax and was roughly ten times stronger than he normally was. ten times stronger, and hal beat his ass.

his ring can’t be worn by any other lantern

as most people know, after a lantern dies their ring seeks out the closest and best new candidate and adds them to the corps. but since hal’s ring is a part of himself (something like that, it gets complicated), it can’t be wielded by any other being in the universe. oh, and it’s apparently one of the most powerful rings to ever be made.

he imposed and overwhelmed his will onto another green lantern

i’m pretty sure the lantern in question for both situations was kyle rayner. and if you know about green lanterns, you’ll know that this is a big deal since all green lantern’s wills are really strong. the green lantern ring is quite literally powered by concentration and willpower, so imposing your own will onto a green lantern’s isn’t something to be taken lightly.

and finally he killed himself with his own ring because his will was so powerful

green lanterns can’t ever harm themselves with their own rings, so just let that settle in for a moment. he also came back to life moments after killing himself (i forgot when and why he did all that, all i know is that booster gold was with him when he did it).

so he’s done all this cool stuff, and they just kinda... brush him aside. he’s played off as comedic relief for a good chunk of time.

so after reading all of that just try and tell me you don’t think that he’ll be one of the corps’ biggest historical figures. i’ll fistfight you behind denny’s off the I-15 to prove myself right (and if i’m wrong remember: i have never actually read a gl comic.). the dudes on oa might have him be a figure in textbooks or having a statue of him or something. i don’t really know how the whole training thing works with them. (this is my way of saying how it would make an awesome future time travel edition of a green lantern comic run so DC i am once again begging you to adopt me as a writer).

moving on (yes. there’s more. if you were to look inside my brain you’d just see a hal jordan png bouncing around the blackness like the DVD icon. you know the one.):

hal’s seen as a leader among the GL corps (not only because he’s op as hell) but because he won't ask anyone to do anything that he isn't willing to do himself. that’s quite an admirable trait in people with high positions of power. unlike those annoying people you get paired up with group projects. personally, i think this quality of his makes him eligible enough to step up into a leadership position at the JLA. i mean, you have the big three: wonder woman who’s a no-nonsense amazon who’s got the spirit of a warrior, superman who’s an indestructible beefed up farm boy from kansas who is kind and compassionate, and batman who’s a homeschooled dropout who once held a law degree in some universe. twoish out of these three people seem like mediocre candidates as leaders (no hate just facts), while hal’s got a very good amount of experience with teams after working in the military and he’s just got that overall personality of a leader.

and man. could you just imagine a scene with him centered around his team and self-sacrifice? hal would obviously try to do it himself and spare his mates, but someone else demands that it be them instead because they think it’ll work better in the end. we’ll have everyone arguing about how “there must be another way! nobody has to die!” but hal reluctantly does see that the other person should sacrifice themselves, because they make quiet a fair point about the endgame of this situation. he lets it happen, and then he proceeds to receive the full wrath of the other members. maybe i shouldn’t digress because this sounds like a great trauma fic plot haha.

further headcanons because i don’t shut up (this is not required reading, you can rest if you wish so):

the whole sinestro thing could be tied into Big Time trust issues because c’mon. if you’ve been stabbed in the back by someone you trusted, you know how hard it is to trust other people. there’s that little voice whispering from the darkest corner in the blackest night of your mind:

“what if these guys end up the same? what if it’s all just an elaborate ploy?”

hal having seconds thoughts joining the JLA in the beginning. a little hesitation’s eating him alive as he looks amongst the people who claim to be his friends, but have fallen under mind control so easily and switched in battle sides often enough that he can recognize their attack patterns when they’re coming at him. he’s second guessing the people standing next to them. he’s thinking over and over again about how his friends haven’t been mind controlled, but just revealed their their true feelings towards humanity. and him. 

and then he feels like shit.

he doubted his teammates. the same guys who have had his back time and time again. he feels terrible for this distrust because because superman’s just invited him to a little get-together they’re having down in smallville and he “really hopes” that hal can take some time out of his schedule to come along and bond with the team. he feels so awkward and sick to his stomach when they reveal their identities one by one because you know who i am... but i also know who you are... but this could all be a deeper level which you’re all playing at... it takes him time to stop feeling a little weird about the flash calling him his best friend at the watchtower, and eventually down on earth while they’re hanging out in civvies. but hal can’t help it because it’s almost like second nature to him.

i could go on. i really could, but i shouldn’t because it’s so late and i’ve spent so much time thinking about nothing but this one guy. so i’m gonna end it here.

[shelby-love]

MATT CASEY

Hatred and fatherly love.

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): none

Author's note: I had a lot of fun with this one. I'm still thinking about whether or not I should just keep the ending as it is or make a part two where (as requested) they fall for each other. But if I'm being honest I kind of dig feisty Y/N that stands her ground.

PART // 2 //

~

MASTERLIST

"Justin what you did was wrong," You fumed, handing him the last of your boxes to load into the truck. He took them without saying a word, letting you take out your frustration on him. "I can't believe dad would do that."

"Oh come on," Your older brother groaned. "Now you're acting like Erin."

"Damn right I am," You agreed. "Unlike dad, Erin and I want you to learn from your mistakes. Obviously, that's not gonna happen if dad keeps babying you."

"So what?" His words came out immaturely, making you punch his shoulder. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For being an asshole! That little boy is paralysed from the waist down because of you!"

"You're overreacting."

"You know what, I give up." Your hands curled around the car doors before they released when you shut the door closed. Anger took permanent residence in your chest.

You shot your brother a glare before jumping into your car. "Thanks for helping me pack."

And with that you sped off to your new home.

***

The apartment complex you moved to was considered to be a jackpot. With that being said, if there was one thing that you liked about having Hank Voight as your father, it was the very comfortable lifestyle you could afford with just your name.

Of course, you were mad at your father right now. What he did to get your immature brother out of trouble was all kinds of wrong, and you didn't support it at all.

"Do you need help with that?" A cool voice told you in passing. You had your hands filled with boxes, and you could barely register what was in front of you.

Before you could say anything hands were already easing the weight in your arms. You smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of your neck shyly.

"Thanks. I just moved here," You explained quickly before looking at the man who offered his help to you. He held the two boxes in his one hand, the other one free for you to take in a greet. "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you."

"Matt Casey. You can call me Matt."

Inside, you were panicking. The firefighter who currently hated your father and brother with a passion was standing in front of you.

You smiled shakily before a voice called out. "Miss Voight. There are some papers you need to sign."

The way Matt's eyes narrowed at you looked sinister, almost as if he was ready to swallow you up in flames or maybe even leave you in a burning building to die if it ever came down to it.

You didn't know what to say, only mumbling apologies to him before scurrying over to sign some papers.

And when you came back to where Matt once stood, you found your two boxes down on the floor.

Great. My new neighbour hates my guts.

***

Over the next few days Matt and you had managed to establish a routine. You'd both see each other in the hallways very frequently but never actually greet each other. By Tuesday, you were already used to the icy glares and the feeling of being the most hated woman on earth.

You even managed to make a game out of it. What does he think I do for living, it was called. Your number one guess was that he thought you were a dirty cop. Like your father obviously.

But then again, you swore you could see his eyes linger on your legs in passing every time you wore a skirt or a dress. So yet again, another one of your guesses was that he thought you were a stripper.

As fun as it was to make games out of your non-existent relationship it hurt you to be treated in a way you didn't deserve.

The truth was - you worked as a nurse, specifically working with little children. Every day you saw their parents take down stars in order to make their little ones happy and as messed up as it sounded you saw yourself categorizing your own father with them. The only difference between them and your own father was the fact that your father did what he did to protect you in a way that some people didn't seem to find fit.

People like Matt for instance.

And while you understood both sides, you leaned toward Matt. What Justin did was awful and your mind was set in stone - he deserved time. He had to sit in a cell and feel what is like to be at the bottom before he could even begin thinking about changing for the better.

Sadly that's not what happened.

As you walked back to your new apartment the bags under your eyes became more evident. You had lost a patient today. A little baby girl lost to cancer in a battle called life. It left a mark at your heart, and her smiling face was still misty in your mind.

Your eyes spotted Matt who strode down the hallway dressed in a simple button up and jeans, looking extremely handsome.

You couldn't really blame yourself for ogling him. No matter what you told yourself, Matt Casey was still the type of man that had you on your knees.

His eyes returned to his usual glare and while normally you weren't affected by that, today his eyes were the last straw.

Your lip started to tremble, while your eyes were filling with moisture and hands were aggressively stuffed in your purse in a frantic search for your keys.

Matt's face immediately softened but before he could reach you, you had jumped inside and locked the door behind you.

Exhausted by life, you slowly slid down the door until your bottom had hit the dark laminate. You sobbed in a matter you thought was quiet.

But it wasn't.

Matt had pressed his ear against your door and listened closely. Your whimpers entered his ears and he felt everlasting guilt consume him. Did he do this?

He decided then and there that he was going to let go of his prejudice and make things right between you two.

***

Once the sun came out you realized that you were obligated to wake up and start your new date. Just like every time, you pretended to turn over a clean sheet and start your day as your best self.

Your morning routine passed rather quickly. Pretty soon you were sat in your new colorful armchair with tea in your hand and a magazine in the other.

You, just like many others, learnt how to leave your days work in your uniform. Last night being an exception. Once you put that blue uniform back on you were sure to welcome back the dark feelings, but until then, you enjoyed the feeling your silky pyjamas provided.

Your phone rang, and you reached out to answer it. One look at the phone had your face scrunched in distaste, "Yes Justin? How may I be of help today?"

If your brother noticed the sarcasm then he sure did a good job concealing it. Monotonously he greeted you back, "Can't I just call my favourite sister to see how she's doing?"

Rolling your eyes you trekked to your room to change, "Make it quick. I have to go to work."

"Dad's in jail."

"What?" You stopped in your tracks, hardly believing what's happening.

"You know dad." He said, "Don't worry sis. He'll be out in no time."

"This isn't funny Justin," You scolded, throwing a dark purple shirt over your head while your phone sat on your vanity, Justin on full volume speaker.

"Well... I thought you should know."

And with that he hung up.

Annoyed beyond words you grabbed the phone and threw it on your bed. It landed on your creamy sheets safely as you wrestled your jeans.

After that spectacle you grabbed your bag and stormed outside only to clash into something strong.

"Shoot I'm sorry-" You hastily apologized. Your hair was all over the place and you barely had enough time to collect your strands of hair behind your ear before looking at the person you had assaulted with your clumsiness not even twenty seconds earlier.

Matt Casey.

Oh how the stars aligned for you two.

"You." You spit.

He raised a blonde eyebrow at you as if saying that you had no audacity to say anything remotely accusing to him.

"Me?"

"Yes you!" You stomped your heeled boot like a child. "My dad's in jail because of you!"

It was like a switch was turned in his head. Matt took a menacing step closer. "Because of me? He did that to himself when he sent someone to kill me!"

"K-kill you?" You whispered, almost inaudible for him to hear. Suddenly your own words worked against you.

"Just because I wouldn't pull back my report." He explained to you. "And I'm glad I didn't. Your bastard of a brother deserves it for what he did."

You fully agreed with him but the emotions that bubbled inside you came to a boiling point. You could no longer hold back, and so you took a deep breath and spoke. "You think I support him? He got that little boy paralysed and you have the audacity to think I would support someone like that? He may be my older brother but that doesn't mean he has my love and support. I'm the first one in line when it comes to saying he needs to do time."

Your words were getting through to him, you could see it. "And as for my dad... He has his own issues, I admit. But there's one thing you need to know about him: he would do anything for his kids. And I mean it. He might be a dirty cop to you, but he's my father. Justin's too. Don't blame him for thinking that his son is able to change, because I'm damn sure you would do the same if you were in his shoes."

And with that you stormed off to see your father and give him a piece of your mind too.

MASTERLIST

~

[baekhvuns]

hihi there! could you please do a reaction (?) of what type of Dad’s the ateez members might be?? the fluff is unreal

ateez reactions ; requested (f)

。。。ateez as dad's ( wholesome af )

── kim hongjoong :

everyone wants to be his kid.

sPOILS HIS KIDS the royalties

takes them to his studio, makes them sit on his lap while he teaches them how the machinery works.

will be a bit stricter once they grow up but is super loving towards them.

painting his kid’s pinky finger busting an uwu

buys their kids the latest fashion trends and then customized them and gives them as christmas presents.

his kids are shy, so they hide in his pants whenever there’s a public press conference atiny’s favourite thing

or they hide in his jackets while joong talks about ateez.

will break stereotypes between father and son duo in south korea, not the typical father.

── park seonghwa

the soft one.

the real dad.

would nag at his kids once they grow because, “wHeN i wAs yOUR aGe!”

the type to attend every event involving his kids, first musical? dentist appointment? he’s got it.

has a camera on handy to capture candids and then frames them around the house.

the dad who makes lunch for kid’s because he heard his kid bragging about the lunch he made to his classmates.

his kids instantly fall asleep on his chest because he’s really warm.

imagine his kids getting his sparkly eyes.

i would loose it

toothless and mommy’s lil dragons that’s your family groupchat name, thank me later.

──  jeong yunho :

the child dad the gif has me crying

when he picks his newborn, his hands are bigger than the baby itself.

kind of scared to hold the child because he doesn’t wanna hurt them.

carries his kid everywhere.

his favourite thing to do is to place his kid on his shoulder while the small bub plays with yun’s hair.

his kids hold his index finger bc his hand is too big.

cups his kids cheeks on a regular.

best at games + teaches them hacks.

compares his hands and feet with his kids.

teaches his kids how to dance before they can even learn how to speak.

bridal style carrying his kids everywhere.

“hihi, i-i’m dada!”

──  kang yeosang :

i see him as a pretty strict dad.

the type you see early mornings with newspaper in their hands, glasses on the nose, and one leg over the other.

if you bring back bad results from test, expect a glare from him.

but then secretly goes to your room and leaves some extra food with a letter saying sorry. ;-;

since he’s kinda shy, his kids never leave his side and are always sitting with him on his laps at a occasion.

his kids protecc him devastated

the quiet dad, always fascinated by how their kids little bodies work.

the type to take his kids on surprise long drives while you stay home.

stops by mcdonald’s to grab fries and happy meals.  

his deep soothing voice puts his kids to sleep, even if he threatens them to go to sleep or he’ll take there toys away.

──  choi san :

a mountain.

always carrying his kids over his shoulder wbk dorito bod

pretends to wwe throw them onto the bed but instead huddles them into his chest while his back hits the bed.

the type to cry when he sees his kid walking for the first time or anything for the first time. the cancer is coming out

him letting his kid put their fingers in his deep dimples while he smiles happily.

imagine his kids get his dimples and duality

pretends to bite their kids fingers playfully but ends up kissing them.

won’t leave anything out when it’s for his kids.

him and the kid’s throw random pranks on you.

“(y/n)! SHE SAID DADA! GET THE CAMERA!”

──  song mingi :

“i’m a family oriented man.”

his kid’s are always the best dressed, fashionista song’s da the house.

a hands on dad.

willing to learn how to change the diaper.

is always holding his kids propped on his waist.

throws his kid in the air and catches them, lowkey confused at times but his kids find him adorable.

would do anything for his kids, wants to be provide them with anything.

like yunho, he compares his hands with his kids and laughs.

his kids dress him up in a tutu, he won’t even mind.

if his kid is on the floor with a mess, he will join them instead of cleaning it up.

makes sure his kid sleeps beside him.

when his kids grow old, and it’s time for boyfriend and girlfriends.

expect his inner leo to come out,

wait he’s a leo, that means his kids are his baby cubs ;-;

──  jung wooyoung :

get ready.

is more childish than the child instead,

loud

is always giggling over whatever his kids do, literally encourages them to be more louder.

really playful.

his kids get his playfulness and they create problems at school, when you and him get called from school complaining about the kids, woo’s laughing while you’re mad.

when woo hears the teachers complain about them, he high fives them secretly.

buys his kids toys every time he comes back from concert overseas.

dresses them up in his snap backs and takes selfies then uploads them on fancafe.

shows his kids off to everyone.

i think as his kids grow old, he will of course, mature.

and he might get a bit stricter but it won’t be like the traditional relationship between a father and a son like joong.

the type to have more freinds then his kids, he’ll be having more fun at his kids wedding rather than his kids.

a fun dad.

──  choi jongho :

whenever he breaks apples his kids look at him with wide eyes, “wahhhhhh!”

and he responds with his gummy smile ;-;

looks strict but is a hilarious dad,

the type of dad who’s shy and stern in front of others but back home he’s a goof ball.

dad jokes everyday, all day.

carries his kids on his biceps as if they were monkeys, and then they scream and he joins and you run out to them just having fun.

the type to sit still while his kids use your makeup on him and decorate his hair with your hair pins.

you come home to find jjong wearing your red lipstick.

sings them the best lullabies.

his kids would be the next singing prodigy’s.

always stacked on diapers and pretty clothes.

is the youngest but is more mature than most the members.

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

Might stop reading Worm.

Content warning: bugs/insects/arachnids and related horror, body horror mention, miscellaneous violence mention, sexual violence/assault mention

My thoughts on the first ten arcs of Worm. (contains spoilers)

So, I finally got around to reading Worm. It was kinda big when I was in high school, and I still know some people who are/were into it, so I thought it was time that I gave it a serious shot. I did actually try to read it in high school once, but I couldn’t get into it and stopped reading after the first chapter. I tried to be a little more persistent this time to give it a fair evaluation.

When I started reading Worm this time around, I kind of just breezed past the warning at the beginning (“This story isn’t intended for young or sensitive readers. Readers who are on the lookout for trigger warnings are advised to give Worm a pass.”) I don’t consider myself someone who really gets triggered by media. I think it’s important to talk about stuff, including fucked-up stuff. It’s uncomfortable, but that discomfort is part of the point. I think it probably should bother you to read about terrible things, even fictional ones, given that those fictional atrocities almost always have real-world counterparts.

I think I vastly underestimated the amount of fucked-up-ness that is in Worm. When I read that warning, I thought, “Okay, this story’s probably dealing with some dark themes, and there might be some particular scenes that are really disturbing.” After reading the first ten arcs, though, I feel it’s more accurate to say that fucked-up-ness is Worm. It is the core of the story, and there is really very little else.

So it’s not that any particular thing that happened in the story triggered an immediate, strong, psychologically-damaging reaction in me, but as I continued reading, I began to notice that not only was I not enjoying myself, I was actually finding it subtly unpleasant. When I read about something bad happening, I get hit with a small dose of negative emotion. As it turns out, that adds up over time, especially when there aren’t any positive scenes to balance out the negative stuff. Without me even noticing for a long time, Worm was making me unhappy.

Here’s what I did like about Worm:

Impressive world-building - Wildbow is exceptional at inventing different locations, groups, and individual actors and thus creating a detailed ecosystem of capes and civilians.

Lots of characters, lots of superpowers - Directly related to the previous point, Worm contains a lot of characters...arguably too many characters. I generally prefer stories that focus on a smaller number of characters in order to give each character more room for development, but I appreciate Wildbow’s talent for coming up with vivid, if simplistic, characterizations. There are also some really interesting superpowers and interesting takes on common powers.

Inventive use of Taylor’s superpower - Taylor is always coming up with new uses for her power: having black widow spiders spin silk for her suit, using her bugs are a sixth sense to keep track of her enemies and environment, using venomous bugs to take hostages, covering her body in bugs as a disguise, coating her bugs’ stingers in capsaicin for extra punch, using human-shaped swarms to fake out her enemies...The list goes on and on, and I really appreciate how Wildbow took this oft-overlooked superpower to the next level.

Danny Hebert - The only character in the story who I can say I genuinely like. Danny Hebert is a union organizer whose pet project is getting the ferry up and running again so that there can be more interaction between the poorer and wealthier parts of Brockton Bay. I also loved the scene where he supports Taylor in the “mediation” with her bullies and their parents at school. Even if he was impotent, unable to protect her, I could tell he was on her side. His one screw-up is when he locks Taylor in the living room and tries to force her to talk to him, but it definitely makes sense with his character (a little bit of a pushover) and the story (Taylor was shutting him out and seemed to be putting herself in danger) that he would end up letting Taylor’s grandma convince him to take a forceful approach. Don’t get me wrong, locking up your kid is a horrible thing to do (I should know, my parents did it to me, and it fucked me up), but I still ended up feeling bad for him when Taylor just up and disappeared. She didn’t even call her dad to let him know that she was still alive after Leviathan! I mean, on the one hand, I do actually appreciate that she started making an effort to protect her father from the dangers of her cape life, something that I was kind of appalled to see that she never even considered before. But damn, did I feel bad for Danny.

Here’s what I didn’t like:

Way too much fucked-up shit happening - Name an atrocity, Worm’s probably got it. The plot is mostly just terrible thing after terrible thing and reveals of how terrible all of the characters are, with many terrible things that aren’t directly treated in the plot peppered in along the way.

Lots of capes, no heroes - This is one of those themes that sounds deep on paper but is really just cynical and fatalistic. Even if all the capes are corrupted by power (or by the toxic power dynamics between capes), what about civilians? Where’s the thoughtful therapist or the brave fire-fighter? Danny Hebert is one notable exception to the “Everyone is terrible” rule, but we don’t see all that much of him. Other than him, the only person I can think of who could possibly fit this “civilian hero” role is Aisha’s social worker, who I don’t think even has a name.

All superpowers are evil - This is arguably just a rephrasing of the previous point, but I think it’s important to mention. Worm contains so many superpowers, but it seems like they’re all being put to evil purposes. Panacea, the superheroine with healing powers (really just dominion over health and illness of the human body in general), makes some really despicable threats (e.g. giving someone cancer with a touch, or giving someone a disorder that will only manifest at an unknown time in the future, leaving them to anguish over their fate). Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing inherently wrong with writing a character using this type of power for evil ends. There’s a lot of interesting stuff to explore there, and I actually love that Panacea is a character that acknowledges the burden of having a healing power, feeling unable to take any time for yourself while simultaneously growing to resent those you feel obligated to help. My issue is not with Panacea but with the fact that literally every superpower in the story is painted in a negative light. It just feels absurd to suggest that, for example, someone like Gallant couldn’t use his power (carefully and thoughtfully and with consent) to heal people with emotional trauma. Superpowers in Worm are only for violence and conflict and crime, and I just don’t understand that. Again, the rogues form a token exception, but we rarely actually see them, and one of the first rogues we meet, Canary, is immediately subject to harsh and unjust punishment and never heard from again.

A misguided focus on only certain types of crime/violence - Worm deals with gang violence, robberies, and general chaos-inducing terrorism. It focuses on crimes perpetuated by working-class individuals and small to medium size illicit groups. There’s some commentary on state-sanctioned violence in terms of the corruption of the Protectorate and Dragon’s worries of having to obey a despot should one take over the government, but it’s not exactly framed in a way that highlights the struggles of the average person; the focus is almost entirely on capes. Worm doesn’t discuss things like wage theft, illegal rent hikes, or, dare I say it, the inherent violence of capitalism, which, while less flashy, are important problems with far-reaching consequences. It’s weird, and honestly kind of unrealistic, that there’s not a single anarcho-communist cape. Whether you agree with that kind of politics or not, it’s still a glaring omission if the setting of the story is trying to emulate real life. Again, Danny Hebert’s role as a union organizer and interest in restoring the ferry and reintegrating the city pay token attention to some of these ideas, but the vast majority of the story is unconcerned with addressing the source of, or solutions to, poverty and crime in Brockton Bay and the wider world of Worm.

So those are my thoughts. There’s a part of me that still thinks, “But so many people like this so much! Maybe it’ll get better!” I have a really strong drive to understand why others like the things that they do, to be able to share in their appreciation. But from what I’ve seen in a couple memes I happened upon, things are getting worse, not better for the world of Worm. And even if things start to resolve at some point, I’m not sure it would be great for my mental health to continue reading up to that point.

The breaking point for me, if you’re curious, was when a main character was just casually revealed to be a serial rapist. That wasn’t even the point of the chapter, it was just kind of thrown out there as an extremely-not-fun fact. So I was still reeling from that reveal while also experiencing all of the atrocities said character was committing in the moment, and after that was when I realized, “Hey, maybe this is not the kind of content I should be reading.” It even took reading a few more chapters into Arc 11 for it to really sink in, but I had this weird revelation of like, I get to choose which fictional worlds I spend my time in, and the world of Worm isn’t one I relish.

If you do enjoy Worm, I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on what makes it appealing to you.

[happypeachwhispers]

Fries Meet Guys: ALEX HØGH ANDERSEN - I DIDN'T THINK I WAS A PERSON WHO SHOULD TALK ABOUT ANXIETY - Part One: Childhood, Parenting, Socializing

Just a couple words about this work of labor, thank you to everyone who encouraged me, helped me and believed in this translation project. Some parts were more hard than others to make sense of, I appreciate some input if you feel so inclined. It will be posted in five parts, weekly. I really did my very best. Enjoy!

Taglist: @ivarsrideordie

We invited you to the studio today, because we would like to be a little wiser about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a man to you. But for a start, we just have some classic questions. What's your name? How old are you?

Hi, my name is Alex. I'll be 25 this summer, I was born in '94. I come from a small town called Skælskør in West Jutland.

What is your profession?

I am an autodidact actor.

And what is your favorite song?

All the songs by Frank Ocean.

What's your favorite movie?

I simply can't answer that. But I talked to a friend today, we watched In Bruges, a movie with Colin Farrell and it was fucking fun.

What's your favorite dish?

It was chicken thighs for a long time, when I was a kid I liked them cooked in the oven for 25/30 minutes at 200 Celsius degrees. You put a little bit of salt on, and then they are ready, mouthwatering and delicious. But not my favorite anymore, today I'd probably say sushi.

We have given homework to Alex, we asked him to think about the word man and now we are very curious to hear what his thoughts are and what he came up with.

I was thinking of a hell of a lot of things, and at the same time, I was thinking zero things. I think it's so hard to talk about this and to feel that you are somehow obligated to talk about it, but I manged to write something down. So I should be able to talk about this. But it is so hard to feel that one has to generalize in any way. But you shouldn't, really. You can only answer for yourself.

When I come to think of a meaning of the word man, I come to think that I couldn't help but imagine some American culture that we all seem to follow blindly that's based on having the coolest clothes and going to clubs to hook up. Or you just see them wanting to be basketball players and driving sports cars. It's either rappers, basketball players or actors. I wasn't a great guy at all and I was heavily influenced by it, but then I came to realize it's not for me. It's not supposed to be like that at all.

So what's the kind of man that gives priority to those things?

The very first thing that comes to my mind is that they are drawn to that lifestyle cause it means having a lot of money, high status and living without a care in the world. You're a breadwinner. Instead I often worry in terms of where I am here in Copenhagen in 2019 and the group of friends I have here and with whom I spend my time with.

So there have been some people in your life, who have been carefree motherfuckers.

Both things. But I like to go to my dad right away and he is not a carefree person at all. But he is also not a man who has struggled with some of the things that I struggled with. Fighting with anxiety for example. And as I know many of my friends struggle with men but as women. And that's it. My dad says he doesn't know about it because he's from a different generation or maybe I've just been unlucky. He never experienced any of that. Before he could worry, he was a grown man who had to support his family. He has had the same job for 25 years now and then goes home, works in the garden, cuddles with my mother and travels around the world and then comes back home. But I would also say that he has not been very manly, he is actually quite soft many times. I can remember my little sister's confirmation where he was supposed to give a speech but didn't get through it, he was feeling emotional. Mom always keeps a watchful eye on him, especially when he talks about breast cancer and what she has been through.

You described your father as the example of a man you saw growing up, but that was your experience as a boy. What did it mean to you growing up? How did that shape the man you are today?

I think my dad has given me a lot of really cool stuff. His presence in my life gave me a lot. His sense of humor first of all, because he's one of the funniest people I know, and he can definitely be funny on a bad day, too. I love him. I hope my sense of humor is as funny as his. Also he has always been really good at taking things easy. So even when it gets tough, he helps heal all the wounds. He was a very important presence in my life, he has being a really good father and I always think of my dad as the primary example of a man. Even the soft side of my dad. When I talked to him and had heart to heart conversations, he showed me his vulnerable side. And I learned that being vulnerable is ok. That's a really good thing, I think. There has always been room for me, to express myself. He hasn't been one of those patriarchal fathers in a carnally old society, so out of touch and never talking to the children.

But what has it meant to you to have such a father? Where was there room for you or your feelings?

It meant everything in the whole world. He has always been an example. He was supportive of my dreams and  has always been there for me. When I started to do theater, he drove me from Skælskør to Copenhagen from the age of 11 to 17. So six years, where my dad comes and picks me up after work, he picks me up in the afternoon after I finish school or high school. And then he drives me to Copenhagen so that I can do theater, sits and waits for three hours while I do theater, and then he drives me home again. And when he's home, he goes straight to bed because he's going to work the day after. He did it for 6 years in a row, it is very touching and beautiful. He has been a great father, so I also hope that I can become an equally good father at some point, because I have had an absolutely wonderful role model. Him.

This is what you remember and treasure from your childhood. Is there a community at the time that you've been a part of?

Well, the schoolyard. It was football with the boys and I've always played both football and basketball. Football was big for us boys, it was everything. We were always thinking: “who is the best and who is the worst?”. We played all the time and that challenged the competition “gene” I have in me, which is pretty extreme, it was all about me trying to do better than the two or three other guys in my class who were about as good. We were all at the same level. We have always been competitive since primary school.

Probably was a way of socializing.

Yes, I think so. We were such innocent boys and then we became a team. But it's that sense of being wild and free and learning how to win and lose. And then tomorrow is a brand new day to play a new game. Carelessness is such a big thing when you're little. Something you could well miss when you're in your mid-twenties having a lot of problems.

When you say that you mean today you're a completely different man or better, a wiser but soft man with challenges and worries?

I think where I came from was from a really, really nice family. There was room for everything.

That feels like winning.

Yes, that's how you win. We didn't understand many feelings being boys that young. But I remember this talent show I was a part of, when I was 11 years old, it was a tv program where I sang and danced. It was different from what country kids experience, you have just sports there. My classmates came to see me and they were extremely supportive, I was so happy, it was fantastic. There was the whole class in there with banners and everything and the amazing experience so wonderful. But strange. Then a couple months later I had an argument with one of my teammates on the football field, he told me that just because I was on a tv show didn't mean I was better than him. I still remember those words, I was shocked, I remember those words like I heard them a week ago.

Kids, it was just kids, but I felt such a sense of shame, did I really act like I thought I was better than him? No matter who the hell you talk to, people who did something that made them a little different from the others, feel this way. People who might be famous or what the hell. They probably always feel completely calm, especially if I imagine me at 11, I just wanted to go back to school to play football. I did not attach any further value to it. I did not feel that me being on a tv show could have caused problems. But apparently it did. I spent the next six years of my life after that “incident” in Copenhagen, at the Eventyrteatret, feeling more at home than ever.

Why did you feel more at home?

Because they were just like me, crazy just like me, energetic just like me and loved dancing and singing just like me.

END PART ONE

Ask me in messages if you wanna be tagged // Feel free to like, comment and share, thank you!

[jemfisch]

⌠ MASON GOODING, 21, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, JEREMY “JEM” FISCHMAN II! according to their records, they’re a SECOND YEAR year, specializing in ADVANCED ENCRYPTION & “MACGUYVER” SURVIVAL SKILLS AND NAVIGATION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (old hip hop blaring from headphones, a broken crtv with the cords ripped out and repurposed, the smell of spray paint graffiti, brightly colored shirts with 80s patterns). when it’s the (cancer)’s birthday on 06/23/99, they always request their ICE CREAM SANDWICHES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kati, 24, she/her, est ⍀ @gallagherintro

STATS / PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS / CLASSES

INSPIRATION

fox mulder (the x files)

hogarth hughes (the iron giant)

will turner (pirates of the carribean)

robin hood

george weasley (harry potter)

aladdin

spike spiegel (cowboy bebop)

mark watney (the martian)

BACKGROUND + CLICK FOR BIO

his parents were high school sweethearts and married just before they attended college at harvard together, securing careers at the kennedy space center. 

jeremy fischman sr dies under mysterious circumstances in a lab accident and ellen is twenty-eight and left alone to raise baby jem. things only go downhill from here. jeremy was the love of her life and she becomes obsessed with his disappearance and all kinds of conspiracy theories, blows a bunch of her money. it doesn’t take long for her to be fired, savings blown on expensive equipment or sunk into internet hoaxes

they move to a rough neighborhood in gainesville where jem grows up. he likes jem, not jeremy, jeremy is his father. he’s never experienced the perfect life his parents used to live, the white picket fence, the shiny space shuttles. he’s only got this, and honestly, he doesn’t hate it. 

the neighborhood’s rough, but there’s a lot of fun characters, and his mom is practically his best friend – aside from his next-door neighbor, NOAH WARD.

jem’s mom does odd hacking jobs from the comfort of their home. some of them are shadier than others, she makes connections with a lot of private investigators in town and looks into people’s cheating husbands and tracks down birth parents and missing people. she does pro bono work too, a kindhearted woman, she can never say no to those in need, even if she’s not so fortunate herself. as jem gets older, he learns everything that he knows from her

every summer vacation growing up, jem and his mom would pack their bags and make home in a camper van, traveling across the country. in some ways, this was great mother-son bonding, but this wasn’t why they did it. his mom never gave up looking for the truth about her husband,  but hacking into secure, top-secret government databases is nothing like hacking into the gainesville city hall, it’s hard work, and they travel around the country methodically so that their signal cannot be traced. every summer they get close, but never close enough.

when noah moves away for college, jem stays home. he’s not comfortable leaving his mom. 

he keeps up with hacking jobs and keeping up with looking for his dad on the side. he doesn’t think they’ll ever find him, his mom holds out hope but jem is eighteen years old and a bit more jaded now, he figures the guy’s just really dead and well, the conspiracy of it all matters less and less when he knows that either way, he’s still grown up without him. 

a lot of jem’s social life is online, whether it’s friends from hacking forums or via soundcloud.

when he’s not hacking, he’s making music. his passions of technology and music mix and he creates his own beats and soundcloud, mashing together songs, and even putting together a popular meme track or two used on tiktok. 

it’s actually a bit lucrative, but that’s not why he does it. doesn’t even really use his name, catch him on soundcloud…username? uncutjems.

every time he and his mom get close to finding his dad, there’s just more to do, and it’s almost like someone KNOWS what they’re doing. 

jem’s right about that – he is being watched. since noah’s admission to gallagher, recruiters have been aware of the boy who taught her everything she knew. 

when gallagher makes the choice to start allowing male students, an agent shows up at his door offering him a once in a lifetime chance at a free education. 

jem doesn’t have any strong ambition to go into espionage, per say, but he won’t say no to advanced classes taught by some of the world’s brightest minds – and a chance to reunite with his best friend. however, he hasn’t stopped trying to get into the government’s records and still has ambitions of going into music production.

PERSONALITY. 

INTUITIVE. jem has a natural intuition about things and he trusts himself and his own opinions about things. i suppose you could perceive this as confidence, but honestly he’s just really SMART, good at absorbing facts even subconsciously and putting things together about people or situations. in a sense, he has a habit of being correct – he definitely comes off as intelligent, even though his grades in school have never been very good. he just has different priorities. 

LOYAL. make a friend out of jem and you have a friend for life, he’ll take your secrets to the grade and he’s pretty trustworthy. he’s the type of guy that gets along with pretty much everyone but he has a few select, close friends because he is somewhat intentional about the company that he keeps. he’s friendly and kind, but he keeps his inner circle of people he trusts close and somewhat exclusive. 

PROTECTIVE. kind of has papa bear energy, you know ? maybe the dad friend of your friend group, but in a laid back way, he might not seem like he’s the type to spring into action but call someone close to him a rude name and you’ll see his fist coming at your face. he’s protective but not possessive, i guess is how i would describe it, but i think he gives pretty good advice as well because he’s really hoping the best for ppl. 

MALINGERING. jem is kind of a SLACKER! at least, that’s what teachers have called him in the past, he simply does not dream of labor. he’s just kind of doing his own thing, will fake sick to skip a class, whatever else, even though he likes producing music he doesn’t really have a great ambition for anything, spy or otherwise. as long as he has a good computer setup, then he’s fucking chilling. 

MOODY. he’s laid back to the umpteenth degree when it comes to work or obligations, but he does have sort of mood swings, i guess he’s the sort of person that you would describe as grumpy at times ? definitely NOT a morning person and when he’s in an off mood, he can be hard to interact with or snap out of. 

DISORGANIZED. the sort of person to throw his stuff across the bed or leave piles of clothes on the floor to deal with later, maybe he’s not your favorite roommate for this reason. he has a habit of losing things that he just set down or whatever, things like that. 

HEADCANONS.

tbh you can think of him like...beca in pitch perfect ! he’s here bc he was offered a free education and he’s cool with that, but he’d rather be pursuing a future in music. a damn good hacker, though, and the gallagher recruiters are hoping that with some ‘ambition’ he’ll want to work for the government someday. 

played baseball throughout middle and high school and he’s fairly athletic – he can get pretty competitive when he plays, it kind of brings out a side in him that most people don’t expect to see because he’s fairly chilled out most of the time 

a boss with a slingshot. there is no reason for this, but he had one as a kid and he used to chase squirrels away from the bird feeders outside their home. he has great eyesight and his aim is great, but it’s literally the only weapon he’s proficient in

he’s not tiktok famous for his face, but he has two tiktok famous songs...he’s made like 12k in record deals for selling the rights, it’s just the kind of shit that he does goofing around in music software and he has a good ear for what is going to be catchy

he’s NOT a morning person, definitely a late night kind of guy, will stay up until all hours just fucking around on the computer and then he’ll sleep until 1 or 2pm, at least. getting up for morning classes is a struggle for them and he has slept through them on occasion.

funky sweaters, crazy socks, fun-patterned shirts, he dresses a bit like a circus tent at times, but you can’t say that he doesn’t have style – he dresses well, but it’s like he’s stepped out of a 90s cartoon or something

if he makes u a playlist he either wants to be ur friend so fucking bad or he’s head over heels in love with u

really likes making new things with old technology, he loves taking the macguyver courses and learning new things and he’s actually built his own computer and a lot of his own musical instruments 

usually has a couple bandaids because he’s a bit accident prone or can lose his focus when working in the lab. when he gets in his own head while working on a project, he literally cannot hear anything else – sort of selective hearing

likes fucking around with spray paint, if he can, he’s got a bit of an artistic streak and he doodles stickers on sticker paper sometimes. you can probably catch his tag around campus or even stuck to the latops of his close friends, it’s just a little man with a tv for a head. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

HACKING JOBS – if you STILL need a hacker for any of your wild backstory connections, jem is a great bet. he’s been doing paid jobs for people professionally since he could type, and he’s sort of an ace at getting in and out without leaving a trace...and he’s no gossip. so, your secrets would be safe with him. 

SMOKING BUDDIES – people that he can smoke up with, talk about life, talk about the bullshit of gallagher, but also people he can laugh with that don’t make him feel stressed or concerned about the future. 

MUSIC MAKING BUDDIES – if your character makes music, maybe they can collaborate on something...we’re about to drop the hottest mixtape of all time right here at gallagher academy i will teach myself garageband for this shit...jk but maybe

EX ON BAD TERMS – someone he dated last year...i’m imagining it was their first year and things were really great for the first semester, but shit fell apart second semester along with the school. maybe all the drama on campus caused distance, maybe he wasn’t there for them when they needed it, or maybe they got jealous of the way he always prioritizes noah ? a combination of things, we can hash out the details since i know some of you had some pretty angsty things going on second sem, and maybe it’s awkward now because it feels like there’s unfinished biz. 

EX ON GOOD TERMS / LOVERS TO FRIENDS – maybe someone that was a rebound and things didn’t really work and they saw that, maybe he wasn’t over his ex or whatever but they were able to stay friends ? it’s up to you how your muse feels about it but i want an ex that jem also has no hard feels about and actually is maybe sort of protective of them and cares a lot about them finding happiness, they bonded hardcore. 

EX-FLING – idk maybe they were hooking up for a while and then one of them started seeing someone else or one of them caught feels so they don’t hook up any more but it was super fun when they did !! also down for it to have been like a summer fling and once the summer ended. 

BROS – idk i would like for him to have a squad or something for him to just fuck around with <3 but it’s wholesome and they respect women

ONLINE FRIEND (ANONYMOUS) – he spent a lot of time on forums online and stuff so i’d love for him to have an online friend !! maybe cute if they just know each other by their screen names rn and we can do a bunch of text chats and maybe they both know they go to gallagher but they simply. haven’t met idk

ONLINE FRIENDS – also friends he met online that aren’t anonymous they could’ve met through any number of forums but probably have similar interests like music or hacking so they’re long time homies , someone he’s known almost as long as noah

ONE NIGHT STAND – self explanatory. maybe they’re super good friends and now it’s kind of awkward now and they want to get back to a place of normalcy but it’s simply not normal, maybe they fucked things up by breakin the tension on like. halloween or some shit. 

FRIENDZONED – someone jem accidentally friendzoned and maybe he doesn’t even realize it himself but they had a thing for him and he really just didn’t realize it bc he can’t tell unless you spell it out for him.

CLASS RIVALS – someone who tries really hard and cares about class a bunch vs. jem who doesn’t give a fuck but he keeps making the grade without really trying, so they’re ? bitter about it ? and so the two really do not hit it off because of that and they go back and forth , i just rly want a classroom rivalry. maybe even this rivalry and them nagging him actually motivates to try in the class just to piss them off 

 ENEMY – this person shared a secret with jem and then it somehow got out on the gossip blog idk ! they think jem told and now they hate him. 

anything pls let’s chat !

[pagingevilspawn]

Loving You Is A Losing Game- chapter two

hey guys, here’s chapter two of LYIALG! won’t make this too long, i just hope that everyone had a great thanksgiving (or just a great thursday to lots of you!) and i hope you guys like this chapter. it’s probably a bit boring, but... hey, i write, i decide lol. if anyone is confused, this story takes place after 5x24, but before the merger. 

~*~

"i'm still fixing all the cracks"

~*~

"yeah. fuck."

____

the two sit in silence for god know how long. now matter how many times they go over it in their minds, it's still unbelievable to them, they cheated on their spouses. who the hell does that? who simply decides that who they married wasn't worth it and screws the first person they find attractive once they're alone? horrible people, that's who, and that's what they felt like right now. horrible freaking people.

at this point they weren't even sure why they were still in the room together. maybe it was the fact that they could dwell in their acts of adultery together, maybe they just found the presence of the other just enough to fill the void of loneliness that had never seemed to leave them, no matter what they did or who they were with. all they knew was that simply sitting there, on the cold tile floor multiple feet apart, made what they did a little more bearable for themselves, seeing the other look just as miserable about it as they did.

"we're horrible people." brooke mutters, mustering up the courage to sit and stand up groggily from her fetal position on the floor. she turns on the faucet and ducks her head under it, collecting the water in her mouth before swishing it around and then spitting it into the sink, leaving her mouth to feel much better than it did before, thanks to the fact that remnants of beer and tequila no longer seemed to coat the roof of her tongue and mouth.

"yeah, we are." alex agrees. it was the first time the girl had truly listened to him speak, and he had a deep voice, a bit of a gruffness behind it, but that might just be because of the hangover. she takes a good look at the guy, since she didn't have the opportunity to earlier.

he only had on a pair of boxers before he entered the bathroom and was currently the same now, but other than that he was completely bare. he was well built with a six pack and nice arm muscles. his eyes were a dark brown with a hint of green, and he had a sharp jawline. his hair was cut short, and he had a barely-there stubble on his face. a shiny gold wedding band sat on his left ring finger, which he fiddled with unconsciously.

brooke opens and closes her mouth a few times, nothing seeming to come out for a good minute. "did- did we think that we were our partners? maybe?" she suggests lamely, not missing the way the guy she now knew as alex scanned over her briefly.

"definitely not." he mutters, huffing out a breath as he leans back against the wall, one knee to his chest as the other lays straight out in front of him. "my wife is tall, blonde, and has dark brown eyes. you're like... the complete opposite of her."

"sounds like a model." brooke mumbles, a small smile on her face, attempting to crack a joke to ease the situation. oh who the fuck was she kidding? there was no way to ease this situation.

"she was. in med school, i mean. did a bunch of bethany whisper stuff." alex shrugs, missing the way the girl's jaw practically drops.

"damn." she mutters. she looks at alex a bit more, squinting her eyes at him, which doesn't go unnoticed by the man.

he turns and looks sharply at her, "what?" he gruffs out, trying his best to intimidate the younger woman, but to his surprise she doesn't even flinch. it was like she was used to sudden behavior changes.

brooke lips her lips, trying her best to form her thoughts as complete sentences. "you don't even really, i mean- you don't look like my husband... you just- look like my type." she settles on.

alex smirks the slightest bit, "your type?" he teases lightly, making fun of the way she sounded a bit like a middle school girl gossiping about the new boy in the english class.

she glares at him, "shut up."

she wasn't lying though, the man was her type. and by her type she meant dark hair and dark eyes. but she supposed that also meant over half of the male population, so she wouldn't consider him all that special.

alex chuckles softly, not trying to make his headache any worse than it was. he peers through the bathroom doorway, glancing at the clock on the hotel's nightstand, doing a double take after he turns around for a second time, hoping he was just seeing things wrong.

"shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit." he curses out, abruptly standing up from his place on the floor, pulling brooke up with him. she lets out a groan in protest at the quick moment, but ultimately makes her way back into the room.

alex starts shoving on his jeans, looking at brooke as he does so. "you're here for the pre-med conference right?" he asks, making her nod.

"well, so am i, and my mentor needs me to help her with her speech and all that crap at nine thirty, and right now it's nine eighteen. and she goes on at nine forty-five" he says, making her nod. she still didn't quite get why that involved her though.

noticing her confusion he speaks up, "my mentor is arizona robbins." he says simply, making the girl go wide eyed.

"holy shit." she whispers. no way in hell would she wouldn't go to a lecture by the arizona robbins, who was practically a pediatric surgeon god.  

alex nods, "yeah, and i'm guessing you don't want to miss that." he states, making the girl bob her head up and down.

"y-yeah, thank you." she stutters out, going to her suitcase and quickly grabbing an outfit while she internally thanks the universe that they ended up back in her room at the end of the night and not his.

she hears the door to the hotel room open and him start to leave, before the footsteps stop, causing her to turn around. "i just want to say..." he trails off, ignoring his internal arguments from earlier, "i'm sorry. i'm really sorry, and if this is making you feel even half as guilty as i am... then i'm even more sorry." he says sympathetically, not missing the way her eyes fill with tears.

"don't be." she whispers, watching as the man nods and shuts the door behind him.

it was then she started to let the tears fall.

god, guilty.

that's all she was able to feel.

she felt guilty that she cheated on her husband. she felt guilty that she helped the man cheat on his wife. she felt guilty that she found the man she cheated with attractive. she felt guilty that alex apologized for what happened as if it was his fault. because it was her fault right? that's what paul would say.

he would say that it was her fault, which... it made sense that it was right? right. because that's what paul would say. she learned not to question him over the past year, the look in his eyes that he got when she would say something 'wrong' was a bit scary to her, but she shrugged it off every time, since the little flame always disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

but the guilt. oh, it was horrible. it was coursing through her veins like a rapid river, having no sense of direction as it splashed inside of brooke, coating her skin and organs in its treacherous layer of pain.

who knew feeling guilty could be so painful? she didn't. she had no idea what to do. was she supposed to tell paul? to tell her husband that she broke their sacred vows after only being married for three months? she loved him, oh, she loved him so much. he was so charming and sweet and looked at her like she was a beautiful rose, blooming fresh out of the ground. how was she supposed to let the man she loved know that she cheated? gone would be the way he looked at her like the reddest rose in the garden, and instead he would look at her like she had just told him that his father had died. no, she couldn't do that.

maybe it was selfish, actually, she knew it was selfish. because telling him would only be a way to make herself feel less guilty, but at the same time, not telling him was also selfish. it would be selfish in the way that she didn't want to see him hurt. how could she bear to see him hurt? after everything, she couldn't hurt him. he gave her food, a house, nice clothes, gifts, love. he gave her everything, she couldn't hurt him.

so she decided then, paul wouldn't know. it would be a secret, a secret that she knew for a fact would eat her up alive, but she knew it would be better than telling him. he'd been getting angrier lately, and she knew it was probably just a phase, but it was a phase she wasn't really liking much so far. she assumed that that's what happened after you get married. you are finally able to show all of the good, the bad, and the ugly. but it's okay, she can deal with a bit of ugly. that's what marriage is for anyways, sticking by your partner through everything.

she shakes it off. no matter how badly she felt, paul couldn't know. it was a one time thing. it would never happen again. she would never see this man again. it was a one time thing.

____

alex karev walked out of the room with his head down low, focusing on leather shoes he spent a crap ton of money on. he felt guilty. his wife had cancer and was currently in remission, and all he can do is go off and screw someone.

but he felt guilty for cheating on his wife, and for finding the woman that he cheated with hot. that was the worst feeling of all. that after everything she was just as attractive to him as she would've been if he wasn't married. how messed up was that?

he wasn't this guy anymore. he had hardly looked any other woman's way since he had been with izzie. how could he? she was perfect. she was beautiful and kind and funny. and he loved her. so how could he just throw all that away like it was nothing?

but he knew he couldn't tell her. she didn't deserve the pain that it would bring her. she had been through enough in her life. she had just beat cancer for god's sake, with a five percent chance of survival! she was so fucking strong. he admired izzie. she fought like hell and she pulled through. she didn't deserve to take another hit. especially not one front the husband who promised to love her and stay loyal to her through everything.

for better or worse. in sickness and in health. thats what the vows were right? so why the hell couldn't he do one god damn thing in his life right? why couldn't he keep the most important promise to the woman he loved? was he really that screwed up? was he really that terrible? why did he always have to screw himself out of everything good? and this time, he literally screwed himself out of it.

alex shrugs off his thoughts as he makes his way to his room on the seventh floor, quickly taking a shower and brushing his teeth, styling his hair to the best of his ability with the small amount of gel he had left, he made a mental note to pick some up when he got back to seattle. he made sure to use extra deodorant and the tiniest hint of a cologne he had for special occasions, the last thing he needed was robbins smelling any leftover alcohol on him. he would never get on her good side then.

he changes into a pair of black slacks and a button up white shirt. he tries to put on a dark blue tie but ultimately gives up after a multitude of half assed attempts, shoving it into his pocket gruffly. usually meredith did them for him.

he grumbles something incoherently under his breath as he grabs his phone from his nightstand, where he plugged it into charge a few minutes before. he shoves the device into his pocket as he makes his way out the door, immediately bumping into the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

"karev!" arizona chirps, her voice not only happy and cheerful, but loud too, making alex internally wince. he didn't need more loud noises right now, he had just popped a couple of aspirins and was still waiting for them to kick in.

but still, he forces a crooked half smile, "hey robbins." alex knew he needed to be on her good side. he had been getting really interested in peds lately, but arizona didn't think he would be good in it, meaning she was still skeptical. but he loved it. it was so... intense. and hardcore. heartbreaking, at times, of course. nothing was worse than losing a child patient, but that only made the successes that much more valuable.

with peds, he felt something. he liked to get to know his patients and make up random handshakes with them. but he didn't like kids though. don't think he did. he definitely didn't. he just admired those kids in the peds ward. they were all fighters in a fun sized package, and don't even get him started on the babies in the NICU.

those were the hardest fighters in the hospital, no question there. these tiny little lives battled so hard, they fought their absolute hardest from the second they were born, and for that, he had to admire them. how could he not?

the point was that he needed robbins to like him. actually, he really needed robbins to like him, because she was the best, and he wanted to learn from the best. he would do everything he possibly could to make sure he became the surgeon he wanted to be, the surgeon he left iowa to be. he practically had to beg robbins to let him join her, but that was okay, he didn't mind. he was determined. normally a fellow would be chosen to do lectures like these, but the blonde decided that she wanted to have a resident come with her this time, since they had been in med-school no too long ago. she wanted someone who could still relate to the pupils on a personal level.

arizona takes a glance over at him, her eyes narrowing at him a bit, "you look like crap." she deadpans.

alex purses his lips and runs a hand through his hair, temporarily forgetting that he had gel in it, which causes his finger to get stuck in a strand, making him wince as he pulls it through. "didn't sleep too well."

which was a lie. which made him feel guilty. he didn't necessarily feel guilty about lie, he felt guilty that his lie wasn't true. which he supposed, was the point of a lie... but still. the truth was, he couldn't remember the last time he had slept that well.

he shakes off his thoughts, thanking the universe the arizona looked to believe him and gives him a nod of understanding before she rattles on about her speech.

it was a one time thing. it would never happen again. he would never see this woman again. it was a one time thing.

____

[kenkamishiro]

zakki:re Q&A replies megathread

A translation megathread of the zakki:re Q&A contest letters Ishida sent back to winning contestants!

As far as I know there were 100 winners, though I only have around 40 in this post. There were more on Twitter, but some opted not to release them publicly on Twitter for personal reasons (such as if they asked personal questions). Some didn’t reveal their question, or all of Ishida’s replies, but I’ve tried my best to guess at their meaning if possible.

The ones I’ll post here are from Twitter, specifically if they came with pictures of Ishida’s art or handwritten replies. I’ll also mention some context if I felt that the conversation/topic between the OPs and Ishida was interesting.

If you see one that I missed, please let me know and I’ll update this post.

Enjoy!

-----

From songbirdfaraway (X):

No question or answer revealed. OP mentioned that since they drew Touka and Kaneki on the postcard they sent Ishida, that Ishida must have figured OP liked them and drew them in his reply.

From mochi_XIII13 (X):

A huge Juuzou fan. OP stated they asked something they’ve always wanted to know from the bottom of their heart for ages, and that they couldn’t stop crying when they got the answer from Ishida. (No question or answer revealed.)

From __rsks__ (X):

OP must have asked how Naki proposed to Miza, because:

Naki: (Oh yeah!) Dunno what kinda pose a “pro-pose-al” is, but I said we gotta be together ‘til we die!!

Miza: You didn’t need to mention that!

From choco__morinaga (X):

The answer was hidden because OP wasn’t sure whether Ishida minded if it was shared publicly since the info he gave in the answer wasn’t mentioned before. Ishida said it was okay to share, but I can’t seem to find OP tweeting anything about what the question and answer was.

Uta: It’s a secret. Just kidding.

From SatoshigeKiya (X):

OP mentioned they sent in a question that didn’t have anything to do with TG, and Ishida’s response:

Soba.

From 00ibushigin00 (X):

No question shown.

Ishida: Correct.

From tsukihoryst (X):

OP asked for Chie’s biography (one of two, actually!).

Hori Chie Birthday: September 30th 136 cm / 33 kg / 21.5 cm Currently on break from university. (Voluntarily on leave.) Hobbies: photography, travelling, going for walks, enjoying drama

Tsukiyama: Little mouse, what are you doing? Chie: I got asked a question.

From Hosaka_0405 (X):

Seems like it was a personal question, so I won’t translate.

From take2129 (X):

OP asked if Aunt Satou, Takizawa’s neighbour who was mentioned in his will, was killed by Ayato? But Ishida stated that it wasn’t Ayato who killed her, just some random ghoul.

From reirei_reina_ (X):

OP was so happy they got a nosebleed LOL. Not exactly sure what they asked.

Ishida: It’s great that I can know about the people who have been reading the series for a long time in this manner.

Touka: Thanks!

From cmnme17 (X):

OP’s question: Please give us more details about Hairu’s hairstyle!

Side: (fluffy bangs) Hairu: Hm...more details…?

Front: Long straight across.

Back: Looks like this from behind.

From go_t35 (X):

Seems like OP asked about the name of a fan club for Ishida based on another tweet of theirs (X)?

Ishida’s attempts: Ishida Club, The 9th Laboratory, Us [Oretachi], We [Wareware], umm? Muscle Lover’S [Kinniku Daisuki’S]. Please tell me of a good one you came up with.

(This is Tsukiyama-level naming lol)

OP later replies to Ishida, saying they were thinking of Sui Sui Club (“club” in kanji).

From 4njo_Usa (X):

OP’s question unknown.

Ishida: No matter how hard things get, don’t forget your goals.

From mishumi_jugem (X):

This OP also asked for Chie’s biography. Similar to the first one, except that she has blood type O.

Chie: Me? I guess I also like seeing drama.

From ChirolMaronLevi (X):

The question wasn’t sent by OP, but by his father. Both father and son are fans of TG (OP grew up reading Jump comics since the father reads them a lot), which amused Ishida greatly. OP is jealous, and his father is smug/happy about it lol (there’s a photo of him holding the zakki:re letter with a glove, with the letter itself wrapped in plastic, with a giant smile on his face).

Also a bit sadder to mention, but OP’s maternal uncle passed away from esophageal cancer. Hearing that his son (so OP’s cousin) has all the TG volumes, OP borrowed the letter from his dad to show to his cousin, which made the cousin happy.

Ishida: Isn't something like that decided at the very end? You're admirable. Please do your best to stay till the end.

From inou_uoni (X):

OP’s question: This is related to Tokyo Ghoul:re. Ihei Hairu has pink hair, but why did you make her hair colour stand out from everyone else’s?

Hairu: Cause I’m cute, of course?

From 3110_mai (X):

OP asked some question about Urie, and the reply:

Urie: Why indeed.

OP is really amused Urie doesn’t know the answer, and it might even be possible that even Ishida himself doesn’t know.

From GW3Q1od9vzXccOM (X):

Funny enough, the preview of the postcards Ishida tweeted shows more of this illustration. (I’m planning on also translating those postcards that weren’t posted by their owners at the end). But it seems OP was concerned about Ui’s smoking habits, because:

Ui: It’s fine, I’ve got strong lungs.

From paralysis_2626 (X):

Seems like OP asked where Furuta’s pseudonym “PG” when he was masquerading as Souta came from. This is what I could salvage based on OP’s multiple photos:

Furuta: Eh, what “PG” stands for? Huuh, is that what you’re asking…? What to do...hmm, alright, this is just between us, but the truth is...PG is [redacted by OP]. What!! Just kidding~ Actually, [mostly redacted, I can make out the parts where OP didn’t blur the text in another image, something about eating bulgogi]. Ahaha!

This is just my personal guess, so take it with a grain of salt. But:

Bulgogi = プルコギ = purukogi = PurukoGi = PG…

OP did mention they were going to get bulgogi after this, so chances of this being right are pretty high lol.

From ute9pmr1 (X):

I think OP asked about what animal Ishida would want to become to relax (for example, OP wants to become a sea creature became they’re drawn to the ocean).

Ishida: If I’m given time to relax someday...I’d keep working as a human. I don’t really want to become an animal…

Ishida later adds in a tweet it’s more fun being a human.

From hare__1127 (X):

OP got back a Houji from Ishida when they asked about hojicha (roasted green tea).

Above Houji’s head: It smells nice. Next to Houji: This is Houji-san.

From re_cord01 (X):

OP was debating whether they should keep it to themselves, but decided it’d be better for them to share so everyone can see (thank you OP, this is personally my favourite reply I’ve seen).

OP’s question: What is Kaneki-kun's life like now? (something small like a simple diary entry...)

Month X Day X

I wake up to the sounds of Touka-chan and Ichika's voices. For some reason, they're excited over some news on TV. I read through the documents related to Countermeasures [most likely something to do with the United Front] , and summarize my opinion on it until noon. Time for lunch. Since Touka-chan went out to the shop, I make lunch for Ichika using the rice I bought. "It tastes better than Mama's," she said, so I replied, "Keep that a secret from Mama." In the afternoon, I think I'll take a short walk with Ichika, and try visiting Anteiku with her.

From Nia__86 (X):

Question or answer unknown.

From OKASHI_monster (X):

Question unknown.

I wasn't prepared at all... If I think about this and that it makes me think, "Ah, I don't wanna do this," so there's times where it's easier not to think about it. It may have been better if I had a "there's all kinds of things huh..." kind of resolve.

From utahira_flour (X):

Question and the full answer unknown. (The postcard on the left is just OP’s message to Ishida about Uta and Hirako).

Uta: Try it out?

From gongon0514 (X):

OP’s question: What is the name of Hirako Take’s Shiba Inu?

Ishida: Kotarou.

From S8OkMMRsYsB7H8i (X):

OP’s fiancee got the reply from Ishida!

OP’s fiancee’s question: Why does Takizawa, when he became a ghoul, begin to hold his fingers in his mouth?

Ishida: Like infants, the reasons can include stress, and suppressing his appetite.

I actually can’t find the OP for some reason, so if anyone finds it, please let me know!

Based on Ishida’s preview of the postcards, it seems like OP asked how Hirako felt when he first got his dog.

Ishida: Something like this. Hirako: …(it’s a dog)

From tacto_0 (X):

Seems the question was personal, and I can only make out something about how once you’re satisfied it will end there.

The reason the mask is in the picture is because OP asked Ishida advice about making Kaneki’s mask a few years back.

From secret_fairys (X):

The first reply that Ishida worked on.

Ishida: I like guys that can win with a hard blow. The weapon is a two-handed sword. Dialogue bubble: I will cut you down.

From kuranosukezemi (X):

I can’t say what Ishida replied to OP since the revealed text doesn’t really say anything substantial, but seems like OP asked something related to the final chapter based on their tweet.

From @S_R_Snow (X):

OP must have asked what Touka named her keychain lol.

Touka: No...since I’m not the kind to name things… Yoriko: She called it Usakichi!

From @rio_080910 (X):

I have no clue what OP asked so the reply doesn’t really make sense. Basically if Ishida has tried doing something.

I never thought about it during serialization. But since it ended, I’m thinking it’d be good to try that kind of thing.

From @Utinni_jawamori (X):

OP seems to have asked a Star Wars-related question since Ishida drew Darth Maul.

Why of course...here. But I also like Count Dooku. Exar Kun symbol.

From @ume__oni (X):

Ishida’s reply was covered up by OP, but OP mentioned in their tweet how they named the onigiri Ishida drew “SSR onigiri”, and that they were thankful for receiving a reply despite their silly question.

Ishida replied to their tweet, and it seems like the question OP asked was about his favourite kind of rice or onigiri since Ishida mentioned something about koshihikari, a type of rice.

From bobriorio (X):

OP’s question: Is there a specific character’s expression that makes you go, “Drawing this face is fun, I love it!”?

Ishida: Something like this broken-looking face, for a lot of reasons…

From nato_noir (X):

OP didn’t mention what question they asked, but probably had something to do with the species of butterfly that appears throughout TG. They also mentioned they started reading TG in 1st grade of junior high, since Ishida addresses that in his reply.

From 1st grade of junior high! I'm happy to hear that. It may look like a "butterfly", but specifically it's a moth called a mock swallowtail butterfly moth. I drew it to symbolize the difference between humans and ghouls even though they look similar.

From Fyt120 (X):

Question is unknown.

Ishida/Matsuri: Even if it cannot be reached, it will be in your thoughts for eternity.

(Why do I get the feeling he’s talking about Urie lol)

From pencil_15 (X):

OP asked about Tatara’s biography.

Now published...!

Tatara (Zhū Lú) [朱鑪, 朱 means 'red' and 鑪 is fireplace, the kanji for Tatara] 186 cm / 96 kg Blood type A Hobbies: Go (taught by his older brother), reading (Takatsuki Sen)

From hachiyone_arai (X):

If you can't stop thinking about the person even though you know it will never happen, that is love. ...according to Matsuri. (I love Urie too.) Urie: No.

From nanasiFAST (X):

Miza: Hm...me? I don’t really rank the things I love.

From Ishida’s preview (X):

Top right - Saiko: Kah!

Bottom right - Maid.

Top left - Nakarai: Recently, Japanese waxwings, I think. (has a rock look to it)

Bottom left - Ichika comic: (you can read here)

I’ll just summarize what I can figure out here since so much of it is concealed.

Higemaru - I think OP asked about how Higemaru ended up working for the CCG because it talks about his history at the Academy and the Qs. Also that Hige really looks up to Urie and wants to keep working with him.

Akira - I think OP asked for advice on dealing with the difficulties with their transfer family, because Ishida suggests using phrases such as, “I see...” or “That’s why~!”. (The alternative is Akira giving Inoue-san (from the transfer family) a Mado Punch lol)

Uta - A personal question, in which Ishida mentioned something about how if OP realized they messed up, and doing what OP needs to do.

Letter below Ui’s - Hide in :re volume 14, huh~ Kaneki also lost his way in OG volume 7 and :re volume 16. [Something about other guys like Naki, and something about how deciding the most important thing is difficult]

-----

The end! If there’s any other replies from Ishida that you didn’t see here, please let me know!

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader -”What Death Tastes Like”

Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; the young woman didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late. Y/N always had a fascination for the much older King of Gotham and despite the consequences, maybe it’s finally time to do something about it.

Part 2      Part 3      Part 4      Part 5

“Hi daddy,” Emma enters the kitchen and you follow, immediately greeting The Joker.

“Hello Mister J.”

“Pumpkin,” he acknowledges his daughter. “Miss Crane,” he growls at your presence and you can’t help it:

“I like your purple shirt Mister J; makes you look ravishing.”

“Oh yeah?” he scoffs, used to the 22 year old throwing this kind of stuff his way on a regular basis.

“Definitely!” you approach and point at his can of grape juice. “Can I take a sip?”

“Since when you like grape juice?’ The Clown Prince of Crime frowns but hands over the container anyway.

“I don’t,” you taste the sweet liquid and continue: “I just wanted to touch something your lips touched.”

“That’s a new one!” he rolls his eyes and snatches back his drink while Emma closes the fridge in a hurry, appalled you always flirt with her father.

“Keep her on a leash!” J advises his offspring and you snicker as she pushes you out of the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you say those things to him!” Emma gives you a nudge on the hallway, amused and horrified in the same time. “He could be your dad!”

“But he’s not,” you wink, dodging her grip. “He could be my daddy though!”

“You shameless jerk!!” she laughs and starts chasing you. “How dare you??!!”

“He’s really hot for being 40-ish!” the enthusiastic Y/N teases more, speeding up so she won’t get caught. “I’m going to marry him and I’ll be your step mom. You’ll have to call me mommy!”

“Whaaaattt??!!” Emma shouts and The King of Gotham shakes his head because he can still perceive your aberrations: the truth is he’s uncertain if that’s all they are, thus the dilemma J doesn’t care to solve regardless.

You quickly run into Emma bedroom and snatch a pillow in order to protect yourself from her attack.

“I love your dad!” you grin and she keeps relentlessly hitting you with her fluffy cushion, annoyed:

“I hate you!! I totally hate you!!!”

You suddenly start coughing and your best friend halts her rampage, concerned.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! Where’s your med?”

You pull the vial out of your jean’s pocket and she opens it while your cough intensifies; Emma fingers tremble at the sight of blood stains on the palm of your hand.

“Here, take this. Two?”

“Y-yes,” you struggle to talk and swallow the tablets, finding it difficult to calm down without the remedy you failed to ingest earlier before the worse happened.

“Come’ere,” she carefully sits you on the bed and begins wiping the red spots off your skin with a clean tissue. “There you go… Deep breaths, OK?” the young woman urges on the verge of crying: although she’s used to your episodes, she can’t cope with the thought of losing her best friend.

Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; she didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late.

“Better?” Emma analyzes your face and you can tell how upset she is, that’s why you try to distract her the best way you know how.

“Is your dad wearing a new cologne?”

“Huh?”

“He smells sooooo good, I swear I get this uncontrollable desire to kiss him all over,” you cough a bit more and she slaps your thigh, outraged.

“Would you stop it???!!!”

“I think he’ll miss me when I’m gone,” you playfully giggle. “Who else would flirt with an old man in his 40’s?!”

“Stupid girl…” Emma’s voice quivers since she doesn’t like to be reminded you’ll leave her. You both are silent for a few moments before she gathers the strength to continue the planned evening.

“I’m going to prepare you a nice, warm bath, then we’ll tag along with my dad at his Neon Devil club, alright?” she pouts and you don’t have the heart to admit you don’t feel like going out anymore.

“Sure… … sounds perfect,” you sigh and underline. “Only if I can spend some time alone with Mister Joker in the VIP section.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Emma concludes and you won’t quit.

“I didn’t say anything bad, you’re the perv for thinking indecencies regarding a man and a woman…alone… in the luscious VIP room… a few drinks… music blasting… attractiveness mooing to be unleashed…”

“Mooing???” she burst out laughing, forgetting she was about to admonish on your crazy ideas…again.

“Yup, mooing…” you proclaim with delight. “It’s a very sexy term, won’t you agree? … … Sexy like your dad!” you immediately blur out and stomp towards the bathroom while she hunts you down with the only purpose of shutting down the outpour of nonsense flowing out of you.

***************

Neon Devil Club, 10:36pm

“Are you going to dance?” Emma’s red cheeks pop up next to you.

“No, not tonight. Don’t worry, I’m having fun!” you point at the two empty cocktail glasses in front of you, still working on your third one. “I think I might call it a night soon, I’m tired.”

“OK, Y/N. Let me know when, we’ll both go!” she yells over the deafening tune.

“Stay and have fun, I can get a ride!” you glare at The Joker sitting at the bar a few inches away from you, totally absorbed by his text messages.

“Are you sure?” Emma hesitates and you poke J’s arm in order to get his attention.

He finally looks up and his daughter pleads:

“Daddy, can you take Y/N back to our house when she’s ready? I want her to be there when I return, this way we can gossip after the wild intercourse I’m gonna have with one of these lucky guys!”

The Clown Prince of Crime stares at her, displeased with the comments.

“Hilarious,” he growls and she jumps up and down, excited to see Bane’s son in the crowd.

“Don’t get mad, daddy!” she pecks his cheek. “I’m joking… Maybe…” Emma chuckles at his grumpiness and you are proud of her achievement in mocking the forever serious Joker: despite the nickname, the green haired menace is not the epitome of joyfulness.

“Are you supposed to have alcohol with the medications you’re taking?” he gestures at your cocktail.

“Nope,” you serenely confess and guzzle down more. “I’m a burden to my father and he doesn’t even know it,” you sniffle and J senses something strange about your affirmation. “He locks himself in the lab for days, researching on ways to overcome my terminal cancer. Did you know Evelyn left him two weeks ago?” you ask and The King feels cornered; you’re probably tipsy and in mood to chat while he’s not. “She’s perfect for him and he let her go… He would ignore her for days, immersed in his ridiculous project of saving me. The amazing Doctor Crane can’t take the hint this is a battle he won’t win. I made peace with what’s happening to me, but he can’t...,” you wave at the bartender for another glass. “Why won’t my father accept the inevitable outcome?” the pain in your tone prompts J to mutter:

“He just tries to postpone the inevitable.”

“I’m grateful for his help,” you ramble on. “I take remedies he makes for me and it’s nice to avoid the traditional chemo and losing my hair. I don’t look like I’m dying, correct? If you wouldn’t weren’t aware of my illness, you couldn’t tell, right?”

“Yes,” The impatient Joker signals the bartender to halt mixing your fresh drink; in his opinion you had enough.

“I got my test results this morning, “ you disclose, pouting. “They’re bad…” Y/N inhales the rest of her liquid courage and taps on the marble counter, disappointed at her own statement. “Did you ever taste death?” the weird question makes him taunt.

“Naahhh.”

“This is what it tastes like,” the heartbroken Y/N softly kisses The Joker and his remark hurts more than her disappointing routine evaluation:

“Strawberry margarita?”

You hop off your high chair so fast he realizes you’re flustered; it was the first time you kissed him, not that kind of kiss anyway and he completely dismissed your candor in the worst possible way.  

“Can we go please?” you intensely glare at your sandals and J opts out of attempting to patch up his callous reply; possibly the best decision regarding these circumstances simply because it doesn’t affect him at all.

“Sure, we can bail,” he grumbles and escorts you out of the club, wondering if you are done talking about matters of no importance to him.

****************

The master bedroom is cracked opened and you knock until The Joker bothers to acknowledge your existence.

“What is it?”

You sneak inside, adamant to request a tiny favor.

“Can I watch TV in here?”

“Why?” he wiggles in the middle of his bed, certainly not thrilled at your proposal.

“I won’t inconvenience you, ok?” you evade his inquiry and still being a bit tipsy briefly aids your plan; your drag your feet to the humongous mattress, then slip inside the purple sheets at the edge of the bed. “You know… If I would have lived longer, I bet you would have married me,” you gaze at the man relaxing close to your body.

The Joker nonexistent eyebrows go up so high it’s possibly a new record: why did Emma have to stay at the club instead of distracting you from whatever the hell this is?!

“We would have had at least 4 kids…” you continue your story. “ I’m young so every two years I could have been convinced to get pregnant; we would have had a small army of little Jokers and Y/Ns… I picked a few names already, would you like to hear them?”

“NO!!” he sucks on his teeth, irritated.

“Hmm…” you get discouraged yet it doesn’t last. “ You would have died at 65…”

“Why would I die at 65?!” J interrupts and his interest gives you a boost of much needed confidence.

“Car accident; you’re a shitty driver,” you lift your shoulders up, instantly correcting your sentence. “I meant reckless.”

The Clown Prince of Crime huffs and the fact that he engaged into this monologue of yours hopefully suggests he won’t chase you away until you finish.

“After your demise I would have mourned you for a decent amount of months, then I would have remarried a guy my age, this way I’m not in any danger of becoming a widow for the second time. I would obviously have our children too so not to worry, I would have survived without you.”

“Awesome, I was anxious you won’t overcome the grief,” his sassiness triggers your approval.

“Indeed; yet I have to warn you: if you ever cheated on me, I would have asked my father to create a special virus to obliterate you from the face of the planet!”

“Why are you shouting?!” The Joker scratches his chin, confused about your attitude.

“Sorry,” you take it down a notch. “I always get emotional when I think about this part…”

“Is this soap opera of yours almost done?” the impatience emerges; I suppose you tested his composure enough.

“I really like you,” you cut off his vexation. “You should be happy a young woman would crave an older man in his 40’s or 50’s,” you snort while adding to his growing restlessness.

“I think it’s time for you and the alcohol in your system to take a nap!” J hints at your departure and you abruptly bring it up since he’s basically throwing you out:

“Do you like me? You never get mad or chase me when I flirt with you…” you scoot over and cuddle next to him.

“What are you doing?!” J gets pissed at your boldness.

“I’m cold,“ you lie without a problem and he’s done with the dumb night he had to put up with so far.

“Get out!” The King of Gotham snaps and his sudden aggressiveness throws you off.

“I want to stay and watch TV; I promise I’ll be super quiet from now on. Cross my heart and hope to die!” you smile and your silly pun doesn’t have the outcome you hoped for.

“You know why I indulge a shallow brat’s idiotic flirting?!” he raises his voice and you shrivel because you realize he won’t utter anything nice at this point. “Who wouldn’t feel sorry for a walking corpse, hm? Despite what people think, I’m not that insensitive!”

You gulp and slowly roll out of bed, trying not to cry in front of him; you don’t remember sensing a stronger pain in your life, not even after you got sick.

“You’re so mean, “ you whisper and can’t stop the first tears streaming down your face. “I wouldn’t have married you anyway,” you rush out of the master bedroom and The Joker reprises his movie, undisturbed at the events he created out of spite.

“Fuck…” he mumbles when it hits: Emma will chew him alive if she finds about his behavior; would you mention this to her? Or she would guess something went wrong if you depart from the mansion when she asked you to stay? The only person that counts is bound to make him rethink his awful actions; his daughter wouldn’t forgive him unless he patches up things. Might as well get it over with before he lands in hotter waters.

“Uggghhhh,” The Joker puckers his lips and contemplates his choices: not too many, thus he ends up in front of your bedroom 10 minutes after the fight.

He can discern your sobbing and opens the door without knocking because another human’s privacy is simply not his issue. You are standing by the windows and turn towards him, mad you didn’t lock the entrance.

“Your company is required in the master bedroom,” J elaborates on the subject and Y/N’s silence evokes a faint apology. “I don’t think you’re a walking corpse… … …”

No reaction.

“Come on, let’s watch TV in my room…”

“Why would you need a shallow brat’s idiotic company?” you blow your nose in a tissue and emphasize. “I don’t want your pity.”

“Crane’s a genius but the trait is clearly skipping a generation,” his way of attempting to restore the mood totally sucks. “It’s not pity.”

“What is it then?” you wipe your tears and he has no clue himself.

“Not…pity.”

Are you debating on his offer?

“Come on,” J grabs your hand and your resistance works a miracle nonetheless. “I’m sorry, alright? Not a word to Emma, deal? Or your dad, he would probably create a goddamned virus to exterminate me from this planet. Don’t laugh, it’s not funny,” he sulks, crabby at the idea of being killed for offending Scarecrow’s princess.

“I won’t…” you promise and you’re actually surprised when he lifts you up, guiding your legs around his waist.

“You can sleep in my bed if you want to… until Emma gets back,” The Joker recommends and you hide your astonishment the best way you can.

“Sleep like in dozing of or…?” you wish to determine and the response doesn’t fail to deepen the mystery:

“As I said, genius sometimes skips a generation.”

The King strolls out of the bedroom with Y/N clinging to him while he lifts her higher in his arms, closing his eyes when she kisses him.

And the only thing The Joker can think of for the moment is that if death tastes like this, it’s not the worst way to go.

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[deadrcbins]

Oneshot Requests! (Bonus: Jeffmads headcanons!)

Yeah, I’m pretty imitable and unoriginal. Sorry, Aaron. Anyway, like a majority of the fandom, I’m making Hamilton one shots! I take requests, I’m great with any angst, no smut, and I’m great with fluff, as well! 

(The cover is John Laurens approved, even though he preferred birds to turtles, the background looked nice.)

SO, onto ships!

I do:

~Jeffmads, since that’s my OTP

~Lams, since it’s also OTP

~Mullette, because it’s OTP in the fandom and in my heart

And literally ANY other ship in the fandom. ANY. If I name them all, I can go on for days!

The exceptions are incest between the Schuylers, and Washette/Whamilton unless there’s no age gap. 

Anyway, thank you so much for reading!

PLEASE NOTE THAT I’LL DO HEADCANONS BEFORE I DO MY ONESHOTS! THANKS!

~

Jeffmads Headcanons:

Let’s start with Madison:

How do they react to a breakup?

James will usually cry a lot and shut himself inside the house for a bit until Thomas comes over and forces him into a Disney movie marathon, complete with ice cream, pillow forts, and a lot of blankets. Of course, this was before Thomas and James professed their undying love for each other. He also becomes very moody and becomes the ULTIMATE emo kid, often dressed in dark and everything. He’ll also contemplate what he did wrong in the relationship and wallow in his self-pity for a bit. This span stretches out for two weeks before he’s back to normal, and so far, he’s only had two breakup episodes.

What would they do if they caught their soulmate cheating?

James’ entire world would crash down. Everything falls out of orbit, and it’d be exactly his worst fear. Thomas is a real good-looking guy...why would he even want to be with James when there are so many other people much more impressive than James? He’d definitely fall into depression. It’d be horrifying for him. Life’s colorful palette would surely turn monotonous. 

Would they leave in the middle of an argument?

No, never. Thomas and James have an envious relationship with each other, and it never becomes that extreme. They’ll talk it out and compromise when it gets to this point. This is quite seldom, though, and over odd issues. 

“Tommy! You’ve burned my favorite pan! Now my omelette won’t taste as good!”

“Buy a new one, then, Jemmy! That YouTube video was so hard to follow!”

Would they make up after a huge argument?

Most definitely. They’re a power couple, a force to be reckoned with!

If James would break up with Thomas, for what reason would it be?

Thomas is too easily jealous of anyone even looking at James the wrong way. He’s a bit clingy, as well. Also, Thomas ends up in a lot of fights with Hamilton, and James gets worried for Thomas’ safety. Gremlin though he may be, he also went to summer military academy, so Hamilton is stronger than he lets on. Thomas has height and build, but can’t channel much of it.

Moving on their S/O?

Jemmy would be horribly depressed, but life has a way of moving on whether you wish to or not. He’ll most likely never find passionate love again, and Thomas remains etched into his memory for life.

Emotions while arguing?

Mostly irritation and annoyance, and afterward, regret and sadness.

How do they and their S/O deal with loss?

It was Thomas who experienced loss, between losing his father at fourteen, and Martha Wayles, his high school sweetheart. James comforted him both times. Madison lost his grandmother to cancer a few years back, and he immediately fell into a grievance for months. His grandmother was his only confidant after Thomas left for Paris, and it disheartened him greatly. He’d never felt so alone in the world, and on top of that, while Thomas was gone, James’ parents pressured him in the first place to go to that highly competitive boarding school for the gifted and talented. He developed his anxiety and anxious introvertedness (Is that a word?) that would plague him for quite a while after. He fears not being good enough, and he constantly feels incompetent and unimportant, despite Thomas’ protests. He kept a secret from Thomas. He tried to take his own life. He stopped hurting himself after Thomas and James got together. 

Biggest regret? 

James’ biggest regret was not being able to maintain the best relationship with his grandmother, who was the one pillar in his life, as he lived with her for two years while James’ parents sent him off to school two hours from there, in the same town Gramma lived. 

Thomas’ Headcanons:

How do they react to a breakup?

Thomas has only been in two relationships before James. Before he met Martha, there was this girl named Sally who dumped Thomas for someone named William Clark. He was depressed, quiet, reserved, and sad for a week with Sally gone, and he was horribly self conscious about his tics, he was fidgety, too. It was horribly out of character, and even Hamilton bought Jefferson a cupcake. He compared himself to everyone else for ages after that. Luckily James was great at comforting, and he was so kind to Thomas afterwards. James made Thomas Mac ‘N’ Cheese and they both pranked Hamilton secretly just for fun, He bottles his emotions until the last day of his phase, then cracks. The next day, he’s back to normal.

Would they ever leave in the middle of an argument?

Again, no, never. Thomas might get stressed out trying to compete with Hamilton at work and work itself, and/or might have had a bad day occasionally, so he’ll be extra moody those days. James knows that he’s anxious about something, so he tries to give Thomas space those days, often reading or watching TV or doing something quietly until he cools off.

Would they make up after an argument?

Most definitely. Thomas is a little puppy. He’ll always come back, loyal and a tad clingy. They enjoy talking out their issues and compromise. 

If Thomas were to break up with James, for what reason would it be?

Thomas loves James and you cannot convince anyone otherwise. Cons

Moving on from their S/O?

Thomas actually had to do this with Martha. In the beginning, it was difficult, and he fell down a vortex of emotions, feelings he wasn’t used to feeling, and like with Sally, Hamilton tried his hardest to console Thomas so that they could fight again. Thomas hates being alone, and losing James as well...it’s unimaginable.

Emotions while arguing:

First, it’s annoyance and irritation, then guilt and sadness. 

How do they and their S/O deal with loss?

It was Thomas who experienced loss, between losing his father at fourteen, and Martha Wayles, his high school sweetheart. James comforted him both times. He likes to keep it private, you won’t even know he cried. Mostly his way of accepting is helping and comforting other people, and shuts his emotions and mourns privately.

What is their biggest regret?

Not getting to say goodbye to his father and Martha, who both died in car crashes. Martha died, she was going with her friend Merida, who survived, on their way to A La Mode, and Peter, Randolph, and Thomas were involved in a car crash the year before, after coming back from a guys’ day out fishing trip. He feels he distracted the drivers both times and deaths were his fault, though it wasn’t. Thomas rode shotgun, giving him his cane, and Randolph had his spleen removed. Elizabeth, their sister who had autism and brain trouble, went crazy after hearing of the crash and refused to sit in a car. They give her Benadryl or sleep medicine. now for necessary trips. A secret Thomas kept from James was that he failed a suicide attempt, but doesn’t self-harm anymore after James and himself got together. Little did he know, while he was in France...James, ever depressed, tried the same thing.    

[cardassiangf]

okay actually let me just do the top three placements for the ds9 crew, okay? okay here we go! these are just for fun & also my interpretation. also i realize some arent human and therefore would have different placements entirely, but you know what? idc. (and no ezri since i havent seen enough of her to make a good guess sfdgfhjh sorry!) 

julian i already said was a cancer sun virgo moon. workaholics who are kinda anxious but also full of love and affection, plus they also love to talk. for rising im kind of caught between aries and sagittarius, because they both in nicely with the top two. i am leaning more towards aries rising though for him. moves very fast to keep interest in things & is career minded. it’s kind of a combination that swings back and forth between this unflappable confidence (usually in the workplace) and a deep emotional vulnerability. also, they’re caregivers by nature. his childhood teddy bear was his ‘first patient,’ and that has to mean something. he also repeatedly shows himself to be drawn to people that might be in need of ‘fixing,’ and might not necessarily pull back until something shakes him out of it. julian is someone who buzzes with energy and feels so much at once it can be hard to reign in, but once he actually manages to do that, it’s almost unstoppable. 

for sisko im feeling gemini sun and scorpio moon. okay yes two signs with a bad rep for some reason but hear me out: this person is extremely charming, confident & elegant except when they're Not, there's intense confidence and resolve that comes through. and on that intensity, we’ve all seen sisko when he gets serious about something--it’s a Lot. it’s a combo that can also be thrown off kilter and that’s not a great thing, but sisko has an excellent support system to ground him so you don’t see the negativity. he’s also a pisces rising. the same intensity comes out in love and emotional intelligence with him here, he’s definitely someone in touch with that side of himself and that’s very Water Sign of him. so basically loving, protective, the type of person people get drawn too for one reason or another but also there’s a chaotic side to him too, and he’s got a flair for the dramatic (his escapades in the mirrorverse come to mind when i think about this.) 

jadzia... okay see my initial reaction is to just. fill her chart with fire. she’s a big personality on the surface, and extremely magnetic. but actually? leo sun pisces moon. okay yeah, a fire sign out from the gate but hear me out. there’s a lot of duality in jadzia, and while she outwardly shows a ton of confidence, she’s also pretty self reflective and i get the sense she much prefers to deal with her problems internally. like, people don’t really see much past her dazzling outside either, and as another leo sun, people do tend to write us off as a bit one dimensional at times. the known emotional sensitivity of the pisces mized with leo’s capacity to love is good for her i think. rising is a bit tricky, since jadzia also has dax to blend her personality with, but i think that virgo rising suits her well. for all of the fun she brings to the table, she also has a brilliant streak of practicality. 

kira is another instinctively ‘oh, fire sign!’ person but actually? i think she has a ton of water in her chart. she’s emotional and passionate and so devoted to the things and people she believes in, and maybe she isn’t used to paying attention to her emotions because the occupation didn’t let her, but she feels so deeply. for this reason, pisces sun sagittarius moon scorpio rising. the thing about kira is that she might hold a lot of anger, but most of it stems from love and protectiveness. she’s incredibly blunt and adaptable, and definitely one of those pisces who doesn’t actually want to admit they have anything in common with the other water signs lmao. she’s at her best when she’s around people who can ground her and kind of make her pause to evaluate things before jumping into action and seriously values the bonds she makes with people. she also doesn’t really care for staying still or playing political mind games and would much prefer to just jump into the Doing phase of things. 

quark is just. it took me a minute for him actually? idk he’s a bit of a weird one. for quark, he’s kind of dramatic and emotional but also has this wonderfully deviant side and, when it comes down to it, isn’t terrible at business negotiations at all. yes he has majorly fucked up some big opportunities, but also somehow has kept his bar running for what, 15? 20 years? through everything that’s happened on ds9.  quark is a capricorn sun, but it’s balanced out (or in conflict with) his aquarius moon and leo rising. quark is weird, and kind of a dick sometimes, but when he’s not trying to be a menace, he actually has a pretty good heart. he’s a pretty creative thinker and constantly finds new ways to use practical knowledge to his advantage. but he also likes to ‘outshine’ others and keep the spotlight on himself, and he’ll lie and trample over people to do so. the fact that this combo makes him attentive can be a bit of a double-edged sword; sure, he can listen to people when he feels like it, but what’s going to happen with that knowledge? who knows. not quark until he finds an opportunity for it at least. 

odo! does not technically have a birthday but who cares i love him so he’s here. yes, we will start obviously: virgo sun. what else would i go with. he’s a reserved person with a personality that errs on the side of uptight; very virgo stereotypical. but you know what else? aries moon. oh yes. odo walks into a room and as long as he wants you to know he’s there, you Will know. he’s bold in his own way, and extremely on top of details with intense attentiveness. of course there’s some fire in his chart, and probably a lot of it in other placements too.  his gemini rising helps this out immensely, which is kinda surprising. but also when gemini is ascendant with virgo in sun, it makes them meticulous, fast learners. maybe a bit nitpicky at times, but nothing that can’t be helped with practice. i think the aries placement would also probably explain the underlying sensitivity, because like, it’s generally one of the louder signs of the zodiac but here’s a secret from anther fire sign: we are So sensitive oh my fucking god. we have a ton of ego and pride (and you can’t tell me odo doesn’t have moments of that) so typically unless we’re in a place we feel we can let go, you won’t see it, but jesus Fucking christ fire signs have a lot of emotion under the surface. 

miles, who i just wanna lowkey take the piss out of and slap him with virgo/virgo/virgo but i will refrain lmao. no, for him, libra sun leo moon virgo rising. he’s extremely reliable, devoted to his work & friends & family even if he’s not the greatest at showing it? a bit emotionally constipated but he does try very hard and that’s why we love him. is it the placements or the fact that he’s an irish dad? who knows, but he’s very prone to just telling people things outright with nothing to cushion it. this can be good or bad, and seems to depend more on how well the other person knows him. his leo side makes him pretty warm when he’s comfortable, and i think his relationship with keiko actually paints him as a lowkey traditional romantic too. also, these placements make for really good parents, and we don’t see it as much as we see the jake/sisko father/son dynamic, but miles really does do his best for his kids. 

worf my boy, who i have loved dearly since i first saw tng. hard to make a guess for him im 100% happy with though. im decently satisfied with taurus sun leo moon scorpio rising. worf is just like. he doesn’t have a really big personality but you also are very aware of him? i wouldn’t say he’s stoic by any means, he’s just very. focused. he’s honest and tries his best to look at situations from a more lawful standpoint, or at least, one that makes the most sense with his own honour code. he seems drawn to stability, but also finds himself drawn to people who challenge him too? he’s out here looking for something to balance him out and put things in perspective for him. whether or not he takes that into consideration is another thing entirely. and i say scorpio because, you know what they say, still water runs deep. you might know what he’s thinking because he told you, but you might not know how he Feels about it. actually, you probably will not. the leo doesn’t really make him want to be in the spotlight or anything, in his case i think it acts more like his driving force. 

and listen. i know garak isn't crew. but i love him so he’s here and we’re all gonna like it.  this chaotic little bastard spy is an aquarius sun pisces moon capricorn rising.  garak is unique, and even if he doesn’t want to say it, he’s pretty ruled by his emotions too. he’s creative, and a grade-A manipulator who can charm his way just about anywhere (provided of course, the person in question isn’t someone who’s been warned about him, but even then, he has a good chance). he’s good a good, if not a bit Off, sense of humour and he comes off as someone who has a personal interest in the behaviour of people. not just a spy thing, but he’s invested--he does crave a certain intimacy and closeness which gets denied uh. most of his life actually. the capricorn read comes from how he’s been able to compartmentalize and commit acts of cruelty. an interrogation that was four hours of staring and not speaking is certainly creative. it’s also an insanely calculated and sadistic mind game for him. and it’s interesting to note that as much as he manipulates, he’s also very easily manipulated himself (see: Everything about tain jesus fuck i hate that man so much). he also runs into quite a bit of trouble when he’s not able to compartmentalize things any longer, whether it’s because the emotional toll is too high or he simply doesn’t see the point in the actions any longer. 

[tessatechaitea]

Justice Society of America #8

Oh no! Hate! It must be stopped!

That caption sounded sarcastic, didn't it? It sort of sounds like a centrist arguing against somebody saying something that nobody should be on the other side of. "Of course Black Lives Matter! Nobody is saying they don't! Why even bother bringing it up?! You're just causing trouble!" is the kind of thing that has made me hate people who identify as "non-political" or "centrist" or "libertarian" or "Proud Husband. Father. Christian." Nobody needs to hear from you if the only thing you have to say is that nobody needs to be fighting for the things they need to be fighting for! "If it's already a crime, why do we need more stringent laws for punishing crimes motivated by hate. Aren't all criminal acts hateful?" says the person ignoring reality for their own selfish interests of which I can't even begin to guess. Enough about people who have chosen to be non-people. Let's discuss a comic book from 1993 that probably takes a stronger stance against fascism than a frightening large number of Americans today.

This advert on the inside front cover would be better if the picture over "very rare" was a cow. I mean, it wouldn't work for baseball cards but I would like it better.

I think the best part about actually living in a world where superheroes are real is that day in 5th Grade when Hawkman and Hawkwoman visit your class to talk about Egyptian archaeology. The issue begins by catching up with Hawkman and Hawkwoman as they continue their quest to steal Egyptian cultural artifacts. You have to give them a pass on this though! In 1993, people just believed archaeology was a thrilling way to bring treasures into museums for everybody to share! It's not like we had hundreds of years to reflect on how terrible this practice was. You have to do some cultural math by subtracting the number of years Western culture believed whatever it did was right and just from, I don't, negative 100? Do you think we'll have learned some humbleness and respect in one hundred years? Most kids who grew up in the 70s wanted to be boring ass truck drivers but by the 80s, thanks to Indiana Jones, they wanted to be boring ass archaeologists. Kids aren't the greatest at determining what a fun adult job might be. Did you know there are people who get angry at the supposition that digging up and taking cultural artifacts and treasures from other countries to bring back to your own might be theft? Generally they're the same type of people who believe that all advances to civilization were brought about by white culture. They hold this opinion through absolutely no evidence at all. How do I know they don't have any evidence? Because if they looked for evidence, they'd wind up reading history and realize their claim was too ludicrous to continue defending.

You might think Hawkgirl is commenting on the gigantic sarcophagus the native archaeologists are opening but I know she's making an innuendo about Hawkman's cock because she's doing that thing with her hat where she lifts it up and down and waggles her eyebrows.

It's not really much of a joke though because nobody expects Hawkman's penis to be as large as a fifty foot long sarcophagus. I mean, I'm sure it's big but it's not going to be unwieldy! It's probably almost exactly the same size and shape as his mace. Interlude: here are some Facebook posts I made on several different July 26thes because I guess I think of it as a holiday to entertain my future self every July 26th? Whatever the case, I love Past Me more than Future Me and possibly even more than Present Me. Because of the Hays Code, Alfred Fatcock had to change his name to keep making films. How patriotic would you consider a person who got a flag pregnant? War Games is my favorite movie because it taught me that trying is pointless. The first item on my bucket list is to buy a bucket. End of Interlude. Can you tell I'm stalling because maybe eight issues of this comic book was too much? Here's an adult riddle: What's twenty-five feet long, wrapped in bandages, and has an eye in the middle of its head?

This guy's penis!

I don't recognize the guy with three eyes but I'm sure he's some immortal wizard named Amn Thoth or something. While the Carters discover ancient mummy curses, Johnny Quick tries to convince Rex that his hour of strength doesn't come from a drug at all but deep inside him. He doesn't need to pop pills to be a superhero; he just needs to balance his chakras and figure out his mantra. Then he'll tap into some deep spiritual part of himself that is probably just a meta(l)gene and whammo! Hourman is back and straight edge! But Rex doesn't buy it. Especially since learning his mantra isn't going to cure his son's cancer (which he got from taking Miraclo). Also in the hospital is Wesley Dodd who is doing therapy to recover from his stroke. Plus his friend Bishop Tumutuu who was some guy who fought against Apartheid. And because the Bishop is in the hospital, the white supremacists are gathering outside to not wish him well.

Shouldn't they hear what they have to say and debate them to better strengthen their own side of the argument on why all people should have equal opportunity with all rights and freedoms promised by this country?

I'm absolutely for freedom of all speech. But the problem that the American media and a lot of people on the Internet have fallen into is the idea that all speech needs to be discussed and debated equally. That's the whole "freedom of speech" trap. Whenever somebody on Twitter wants to debate some terrible topic that nearly all kind and forward thinking people realize is a monstrous and terrible idea and you simply mock them for their terrible beliefs or tell them to shut up, they think you're clamping down on their free speech. No, sir. You were able to say the stupid thing you wanted to say. What you actually want is for a Constitutional Amendment that forces me tor respect what you said and debate it as if the matter has yet to be resolved. The media does this all the time by allowing both sides of an opinion to debate which only legitimizes the side with the terrible take. Sure, we should allow racists to go on CNN and declare their stance on race relations. But the people on the other side shouldn't be debating that topic with them. They should just laugh at them and point and tell them how terrible they are. Maybe get some of that slime from You Can't Do That on Television for rebuttals. Freedom of speech needs way more mockery and far less debate if it's going to recover. Hourman responds to the white supremacists with a "None of my business!" because he's a terrible centrist who believes that if the status quo isn't making his life rough, why rock the boat? Also his son is dying of cancer so maybe he's a bit distracted. I shouldn't be so hard on him when he's wracked with the guilt of probably killing his son with his drugs. The white supremacists begin making trouble so it's time for the JSA to put an end to hate! Or will hate win out? I mean, this comic book was written in 1993 and I don't feel like hate has backed down.

Sure, he's against metahumans now. But just wait until one of them decides to wear on of those stupid hats and silly robes!

Watching the speedsters begin to get pummeled by the huge mass of white supremacists, Hourman accidentally balances his chakras! He's suddenly powerful without the drugs or the black lights or the Doctor Fate deep muscle massages! Now if he can convince his son that the power of Miraclo has been inside him all along, his son will have the strength to battle the cancer! Why did I use an exclamation point on that previous sentence when I don't really fucking care about Rex Tyler and his son! Hourman crashes out of the hospital window to save Johnny Quick. He lets Jesse do her own thing because he's heard about women's lib and also she's not an old man whose powers have significantly dwindled over time.

My adrenal gland just got bigger too!

In the end, the Bishop is saved and even Wesley Dodd joins the fight! Or he just absentmindedly shot off his sandman gun and coincidentally put the Bishop's assassin to sleep. It's hard to tell since he's still suffering from his retirement party stroke. The issue ends with Green Lantern surfing the television when he comes upon Carter Hall's interview program where he's interviewing the mummy they dug up, a man named Edmund Kulak. Since Green Lantern recognizes him, I guess he's one of the JSA's foes. According to the Who's Who, Kulak can use his third eye to cause everybody on Earth to hate each other. I guess that's why the white supremacists were acting up (and also wearing eyes on their hats and robes). Having a magical reason for racism is always a better comic book story than acknowledging a lot of people are racist of their own free will. Imagine all the angry letters that the pre-Comicsgate generation would have had to write in! "I'm not racist but I don't think you should portray all white people as racist because that is racist! Logic for the win!" That might seem like I created a 1993 Strawman but have you read the letters reacting to the Tales of the Teen Titans Spotlight on Starfire about Apartheid? My pretend letter was practically verbatim of one or two of the letters Mike Gold had to respond to on that series! Justice Society of America #8 Rating: B-. I think I've read enough old stories about old people fighting immortals. The whole mortality angle is really bringing me down!

[silcnse]

Okay, muse number two here, still a very long introduction post ( @arlesreblogs​​ ) and please be attentive for the following trigger warnings — abandonment, alcoholism, abortion, cancer, alzheirmer.

―  ✮ [ MUSE 22, MINKA KELLY, SHE/HER, CIS FEMALE ] hey, check it out! it’s [ ROSE GILBERT ], the [ 35 ] year old [ BAR OWNER ]. some people might say they’re [ ILL-TEMPERED ] and [ - CLOSED OFF ], but their children will swear they’re [ + PROTECTIVE ] and [ + STREET SMART ]. and you didn’t hear it from me, but rumor has it, they’re hiding [ SHE HAD AN ABORTION THREE YEARS AGO ].

lets start with the basics, shall we ?

FULL NAME — Rose Lydia Gilbert.

NICKNAMES — Likes to simply be called Rose, usually those who are regulars at the bar she owns get to call her Rosie.

AGE — 35 years old.

BIRTHDAY — April 19th, 1985.

HOROSCOPE SIGN — Aries.

HOMETOWN — Arles, Louisiana.

CURRENT LOCATION — Arles, Louisiana.

OCCUPATION — Owns a bar in town called The Bootlegger.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION — Heterosexual.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION — Heteroromantic.

MARITAL STATUS — Single..

but what about her personality ?

ACCORDING TO ZODIAC — Virgos are generous, enthusiastic, efficient and quick-tempered, selfish and arrogant.

MORAL ALIGNMENT — Chaotic Good.

ELEMENT — Water.

MBTI — ISFJ — The Defender.

ENNEAGRAM — Type 2 — The Helper.

some history, please !

Born to Rebecca James and Henry Gilbert their only child.

Rose has always been the independent kind.

She doesn’t quite remember how it was when she was a little girl, but neighbors would tell her that her mother and father’s fights were incessant and while they don’t know if there were actually any kind of abuse involved, it all culminated when her father walked away from home to never return when Rose was 5.

She didn’t mind it either, she told herself she didn’t want nor need his presence in her life. Her mother made no such promise.

Her turning from a loving mother to an absent parent on a dime leaving Rose to take care of everything as to not end up in the foster system, this was just something she couldn’t have happen.

She picked up odd jobs along with school and with a little help from her neighbors who took Rose in and fed her while her mother spent nights drowning her sorrow in the bottom of a bottle.

Rose never really antagonized the woman, she pitied her and from a very early age she promised herself never to wrap herself in another person, especially when she was sure that 90% of relationships were bound to end that way.

It was around Rose’s high school years that her mother developed liver cancer from all the drinking. They caught it pretty early, but treatment would do little to stop the disease’s advances in the woman’s body, but Rebecca did try. She stopped drinking and started attending AA meetings and for a moment Rose saw a glimpse of a woman she never met.

Rose still had to abandon any dreams of a higher education, though and it was ok--- she never really thought about university, she was far from being like the kids her age. To pay or at least to try and make a dent on her mother’s medical bills, she started working during the day as a waitress in a cafe and at night ( despite being underage at the time ) and a bar called The Bootlegger. It was known for being always crowded and it sure was.

There she met a man named Marcus, the owner, who had hired her after finding her in the middle of the back alley, under the rain, crying and alone. He took her up. Marcus never had any children and Rose never had any father, their kinship was immediate.

During the two final years of her mother, cancer was anything but gentle on her, Rose saw things she wishes she could erase from her mind and once the clock turned midnight on her 20th birthday, her mother passed away.

Rose had never been an emotional person, her mother was cremated and she sold their place for something new, she bid her farewell to her neighbors and Marcus allowed her to take up residence above the bar.

Years passed and she helped him with more administrative things, learning how the bar operated from the source. She wouldn’t know until many years later that Marcus had always been preparing her to take over, seeing as he had Alzheimer’s genes, the disease caught up to him early, laying him down to rest at 60 years old. He left everything he once owned to Rose, including a big house near the water. She moved to it and since she was 29 years old, she has been up and front The Bootlegger.

While managing a bar, Rose never really thought of finding someone, but she did. She has been always specific about love and what comes along with it and three years ago when she found out she was pregnant, she knew she didn’t want that. Motherhood had never been in her plans, so, without really telling their significant other, she got an abortion and consequently ended the relationship.

Karma, however, has a funny way of showing. Not long after not wanting to be a mother, she received a call from the Boston PD and behold, her father, who never did anything for her in her life and her supposedly step-mother died, leaving their three underage children to the wind and quite possibly to the foster care.

Taking them in and making herself a legal guardian was not an easy decision to make, but after convincing herself it was the right thing to do to keep the kids together, she welcomed them in her home.

and some headcanons .

She has daddy/mommy and abandonment issues all wrapped up in a delicious package.

Rose is known around town for the bar, Rose is always there and it’s quite possibly her favorite place in the world.

The Bootlegger is somewhat of a sports bar, but not limited to that, there are darts, pool tables and is made to suit even their oldest costumers.

She is still thankful her half-siblings were not kids, because she doesn’t think of herself as equipped to deal with children.

Motherhood has never been in her plans, Rose doesn’t want to be a mother and it’s as simple as that, but something went wrong with the abortion, something she doesn’t know yet and she will find out that she is in fact infertile now.

Rose likes big dogs and since moving to Marcus’ old house, she has been able to have three total, none of them are guard dogs, they are just large.

Fiona, Eleanor Shellstrop, Meredith Grey and Robin are quite possibly character inspirations for Rose.

Quite obviously, Rose doesn’t do relationships (sense a theme here?), but she does enjoy getting busy. Don’t need to ask me, she has zero problem with sleeping with married men, she just doesn’t get clingy afterwards.

Rose is rough around the edges and has been even more when her siblings moved in. She likes things her way and it might have caused some trouble in the beginning for them, meaning they might not have liked her at all.

Rose drives a motorcycle and she absolutely loves it. She absolutely loves cars really.

Enjoys drinking. No, forreal, she enjoys drinking. She’s her mama’s daughter.

FUN FACT --- she has completely redecorated the house alone, she loves building things and her wardrobe consists more of flannels than anything else. She can also chug beer like no one else.

possible connections & plots.

— best friend in the whole wide world ( please gimme a muse so sweet it will balance out her grumpiness ? ) — friends / close friends / childhood friends / family friends / high school friends — frienemies / dislikes — flings / one night stands / friends with benefits — regular costumers --- co-workers