#what it means for these two to not eat vs to eat too much

[neovenatorgirlteeth]

I voted 'No' though it's really 'no to an extent'. There is a lot of factors to consider here, primarily around what exact species of dinosaur is being brought back:

Age plays a huge factor. It has been around 230Ma since the first dinosaur evolved and there has been hundreds, if not thousands, of dinosaur species at any given point during the vast majority of time since. Any species that has not existed in the past ten thousand years or so would 100% need to exist solely in captivity, and the older a species is the harder it would be to care for, especially considering Mesozoic vs Cenozoic animals. Not only would the climate and vegetation be more strange and unsuitable for a more ancient species, but the modern animals needed to model their care around become less similar as well. The care for a captive Phorusrhacos could be modeled around that of a seriema, for example, but we would have a much harder time trying to provide the proper enrichment for a Velociraptor, and harder still with an animal we know less about like Serendipaceratops. What do we feed it when we don't even know what the animal looks like? We only know it from a single arm bone! What do we do when it gets ill, or stressed?

The further we go back in time, the poorer the fossil record represents a time period due to preservation biases, meaning that perhaps we end up cloning a species we are entirely unfamiliar with and have not the slightest clue how to care for. For herbivores specifically, plants have changed so much over the course of dinosaurian evolution that you would not be able to feed them. A Jurassic herbivore such as Stegosaurus would not be able to eat grass but it would need ferns and shrubby conifers of which most would have no surviving ancestors of any similarity, so it would either starve, die of malnutrition, or be dependent on supplements which we would have to figure out properly before either of the first two happen.

Size is also important. Big animals need more resources, water, food, space, and some dinosaurs were the largest terrestrial animals ever by a long shot. The largest animal species in captivity is probably the whale shark, individuals of which can weigh up to 15-20 tonnes, though I doubt that any captive whale shark is a heavyweight record-holder. Some sauropods like Diplodocus or Apatosaurus are estimated to weigh in around this mark, though many are thought to weigh more, with adult Argentinosaurus estimated to average at anywhere between 65-80 tonnes. Add on the fact we know some of these to be herd animals and the previous point about herbivorous diet issues, feeding and housing and containing a giant herbivore seems a enormous task. For a carnivore, the largest dinosaurian carnivores could be elephantine in size, so feeding a 6 tonne Tyrannosaurus might be more also be too resource intensive.

Space is also important when thinking about how far an animal roams; some wide-ranging or migratory animals stay put when zoo keepers tend to their every need, but others don't. Birds of prey are commonly kept in captivity despite the large distances traveled by their some species in the wild, but you'll never see a captive albatross or tern (at least not a happy one). Is the same is true of extinct birds like Argentavis and Pelagornis which might have filled similar ecological niches? Perhaps!

Breeding is a whole other kettle of fish. Is cloning a new animal every time more feasible than trying to breed existing animals? How costly is the cloning technology? Can we get the necessary genetic diversity to not have effective inbreeding? Are the animal's breeding habits prohibitive to breeding in captivity? Is the animal negatively impacted by not being able to breed? Dios mio...

Some features are not genetic, however. They are learned. These behavioural traits can often be instrumental to an animal's survival, covering everything from hunting to ridding themselves of feather parasites through dust-bathing or preening. These traits cannot be recreated via cloning, and although there is much debate as to the extent and import of these learned behaviours as opposed to instinctual ones, it is undeniable something will be lost in the de-extinction process that cannot be recreated.

One thing doesn't really concern me as much as Hollywood would lead you to think it should, and that is visitor safety. While some animals are obviously dangerous, particularly larger ones, containing them becomes a priority to the facility. I don't see how they would be any more of a threat to guests than modern large animals in zoos, especially Tyrannosaurus which was physically unable to run. That is, unless, a particularly large dinosaur happens to be a cage-breaker, like elephants or parrots are today, though I doubt a Triceratops has the same escape artistry as a spider monkey.

Some people have commented on atmospheric composition, but I think there's too much uncertainty around data to pass comment. Most studies seems to suggest that % atmospheric oxygen was lower than modern during the Triassic and Jurassic and rose into the Cretaeous, with a possible Cretaceous high and fall around the KPg boundary, but the TJ low point could be as low as 16% or as much as 19% compared to our modern 21%.

To conclude, I think it is generally a bad idea to clone extinct dinosaurs, as they are surrounded by too much uncertainty to ensure their health and well-being in the modern day. The exception I would make is for de-extinction efforts of recently extinct species like the passenger pigeon or bush moa, which are an attempt to revitalise the ecology of the regions from which they are gone and into which they might be able to slot back into.

NB: In this post, I do not make a distinction between 'traditional' non-avian dinosaurs and avian dinosaurs, or birds. This is because I see this distinction as meaningless at best and obstructive to our understanding of these animals at worst. Thank you or fuck you respectively.

Like Jurassic Park, but anon offers a solution of the dinosaurs living in a natural preserve with no tourists.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[drawbauchery]

he's the one who makes it for him! he's just an extreme stickler for health & regulation, especially with imposter (canonically. i cry). i will be rambling about this when i get all my thoughts together

[sleeping-realist-waking-dreamer]

i refused to get into deltarune for the longest time bc i knew id be upset by the cliffhangers

and now here i am

upset by the cliffhangers

whoever could have seen this coming ....

[floorpancakes]

say what you want about various things but clamp were kinda cooking when they were like 'if ur not around your gay love interest for like three hours you may just simply eat shit and fall out of a window and die' 😭

[hedgehog-moss]

I bought a roll of chicken netting to fence off my vegetable garden—which I haven't planted yet because it's been raining every single day for like two months and I didn't want my young tomato plants to rot, but the weather is finally improving. I'll plant my garden next week, and I wanted to trim the grass around it and clear the area of weeds, but then I remembered I have animals that can do this job.

So I opened the pasture in front of the (future) garden. Currently it looks like a long pile of dirt, because that's what it is (well, compost + llama manure + dirt)—but look how long it is! I'm feeling ambitious this year and I have quintupled the length of my initial hügelkultur mound.

You might be surprised to learn that Pirlouit was the first animal who noticed the opening in the fence and got out. It's not actually surprising because Pirou has a fresh grass-dar—but Pampe was very much surprised & vexed.

Everyone looked really happy to have access to this new little area!

Initially I thought I would be able to continue preparing the garden while they were eating, but I quickly realised I was too paranoid for that. I mean, it's Pampe vs. a small temporary fence meant for chickens. Enough said. I didn't dare to turn my back on her even for a minute, so I ended up just sitting in the grass next to them with a book, which was really nice.

Pampe decided to lie down in the grass to eat more comfortably, something Pirlouit still deeply disapproves of.

Poldine however thinks it's a brilliant idea.

Update: all my llamas are now horizontal, eating like three Roman emperors. Only Pirlouit continues to mind his table manners.

Of course this peacefulness couldn't last, and after stuffing herself with new grass for half an hour, Pampe remembered there was also a new fence to think about.

She decided to lie down again 5 centimetres away from it, so she could inspect it and strategise while maintaining a demeanour of relaxed innocence.

I was not relaxed.

You are exhausting.

At 7:30pm I started feeling torn, because I don't like to miss apéritif time but—could I run to the kitchen to get a glass of apéritif and some biscuits and run back before Pampe had time to do anything? (The kitchen is 15 metres away.) (I feel like this detail doesn't change anything and if I inserted a poll here everyone would massively vote "Pampe will have time to escape")

But you would be wrong!! When I returned from my quick and suspenseful dash to the kitchen, guess who was on the verge of doing something illegal...?

PAMPOLDINE. Bad llama!! She was interested in tasting the flowers on the other side and she was pretty bashful when I shooed her away.

I believe the only reason Pampérigouste didn't escape is because she assumed her daughter was about to, so her family's reputation was maintained, she would get to see me run and curse llamakind and straighten the fence grumpily, and she didn't even have to get up.

Which goes to show that she doesn't escape due to a deep and unquenchable thirst for freedom, but to aggravate me personally.

I settled on my ash wood throne to have apéritif, comfortably seated in full view of all the animals—

—so of course Pampe immediately got up and went to inspect the fence on the other end of this little pen, behind the hazel tree that was blocking my line of sight, in the one place that I couldn't see from my seat.

I had to get up to see what she was doing (and angrily wave a stick in her direction until she moved away) and when I returned to my tree stump there was a little insect swimming in my wine. Pampe lay down again, pleased with herself.

When it was dinner time and I kindly invited everyone to return to the pasture (Pirlouit & Pampelune complied without fuss), Pampe suddenly lay completely flat in the grass, in what was clearly an attempt to make herself invisible and be forgotten all by herself in this barely-fenced area, kind of like children who dream of being locked in a toy shop overnight.

I haven't taken my eyes off you all evening. Of course I can see you.

I had to poke her with my stick until she deigned to get up and leave (Poldine followed), but all in all it was a very successful little outing. I might do this regularly throughout the summer to keep the grass trimmed in this area, although the difficulty level will be greatly increased when I have to patrol the fence and protect my vegetables at the same time.

I'll add that when I went out later in the evening to close the chicken coop, Poldine & Pampelune were far away, grazing together under the plum trees, meanwhile Pirlouit and Pampe were still queueing in front of the part of the fence that was previously open. Both waiting for me to let them access this heavenly garden again (but with different motivations)

[nepenthendline]

the not-so-good parts about dating them

a/n: I am nothing if not a red flag lover

includes: midoriya, todokori, bakugo, shinsou, kirishima, kaminari, iida, hawks, aizawa

Midoriya -

Midoriya's priority list is '1. everyone' so, sometimes, it's difficult to feel special in his eyes. It's not that he doesn't see you as a top priority, he just often lets himself get caught up with other people and dealing with their problems so you don't get his undivided attention all that often. He doesn't mean to do it at all, but he has missed dates before because he was staying late at work to help his students or got stuck helping out a friend.

Bakugo -

🤨 Aside from his obvious anger issues, Bakugo often struggles to see you as a team and not just individuals. Whenever you argue, he often sees it as a 'me vs you' and not a 'us vs the problem', and he sometimes makes big decisions without talking to you first. He feels like he has to be better than you because he needs to be a provider and a protector, so he tackles issues on his own instead of talking to you and working things through as a team.

Todoroki -

Todokori has no reference to what a 'healthy' relationship looks like, and it terrifies him. All he knows is what, or who, he doesn't want to end up like, and it stops him from taking initiative in your relationship because he's scared of doing the wrong thing. He knows he's not like his father, but he still worries that he's going to end up like him anyway, as if it's fated. Because of this, things move incredibly slowly, and it can be hard to tell that he does love you since he doesn't often make moves or use words to show you. He knows he wants, and needs, to improve though, he just needs some guidance.

Kaminari -

Kaminari struggles with self-sabotage in your relationship - he convinces himself that he's not good enough for you or that he's making your life worse by being with you, and can push you away, cancel dates late minute or act like he doesn't need you. These actions never last long before he snaps out of it, and you're well aware by now of what's going on in his head when he starts acting like this, but he's always convinced he's going to fuck this up. And sometimes, he believes it so much that he does. The guilt eats away at him daily.

Kirishima -

(Absolutely nothing) Kirishima hates showing you when he's feeling down, weak, or 'unmanly'. He bottles up a lot of his negative emotions and thoughts away from you and they gnaw away at him. Its not that he feels like he can't talk to you, in fact sometimes he lets things slip because he feels so comfortable around you, but quickly tries to put a positive spin on his words so that you don't worry. It's more that he feels he shouldn't, and that you have enough things to deal with as it is. He wants to be a safe space for you, so dealing with his emotions is out of the question. He never blows up at you because things get too far though, you just wish he could rely on you more.

Iida -

For the first while in your relationship, it almost felt like you lost your friendship with Iida. The lines between being friends and being a partner were extremely defined to Iida for some time, and he felt that every interaction between the two of you had to be so formally-relationshipy - this meant things such as only spending time with you on pre-scheduled dates, affection felt like ticking boxes on what was 'meant' to come next in a relationship, or not letting you see his deeper, darker times. Things do get better after some time and conversations, but it kinda felt like the first year of your relationship didn't really count.

Shinsou -

Shinsou feels like being with you is the most selfish act someone has ever committed. Sometimes he even thinks that, somehow in a way he doesn't know, he's forcing you to be with him. He feels like you can do so much better than him, but he loves you too much to let you go (not that you would anyway). He thinks that he doesnt treat you as well as you deserve and so he goes overboard to 'make things up to you', when in reality he's the most caring, selfless person you've met. He often brings up the idea of you finding someone else, or that you can cheat on him and he'll stay if that makes you happy, and it breaks your heart every time.

Aizawa -

Aizawa feels like everyone he truly lets in, he has lost, and he is terrified that's going to happen to you. So, he tries to keep his feelings and thoughts for you as surface-level as possible. The problem is that he's terrible at doing that - he has such a big heart and he wants you in every way imaginable, which creates a lot of inner conflict for him. One minute he's telling you everything weighing on his mind and letting himself fall deeper into you, and the next he's keeping you at arms length. He's scared to admit that he relies on you or that he needs you, but he does it anyway and it tears him apart inside.

Hawks -

He lies to you more times that he would like to admit. Well, it's more that he's very good about skirting around a question or situation rather than telling you the truth. There's some things in his life, his past, or his thoughts that he feels are best not being part of your life, and so he will tell you little lies and make adjustments to the truth to fit a narrative that he prefers. He wants to protect you from any negativity or darkness that he can - he knows what going through that feels like and he does not want you to have to feel that too, but mostly, and most selfishly, he's terrified of you thinking he's a bad person because of some actions he's had to take. It can be almost impossible to tell when he's lying or telling the truth because he's extremely open and upfront with other topics.

[filmsmakkari]

your highness

fred weasley x slytherin!reader

Summary: When Slytherin beats Gryffindor in the final quidditch match of the season, Fred Weasley decides to give the Slytherin princess a little reward

CW: NSFW, semi public sex(?), oral (f receiving), dirty talk, praising.

Author's Note- As usual, I had a black reader in mind, so (Y/N) is described as having braids, but that's the only physical description. Anyone can imagine themselves in this fic. Also emmm I have never written smut in my life saurrr... I hope this makes you horny and I'm sorry if it doesn't!

To say that (Y/N) (L/N) hated Fred Weasley would be an understatement.

The Princess of Slytherin was in the prefect’s restroom, trying to wash the red and gold dye out of her hair. The last quidditch game of the autumn term was the next day, and Fred fucking Weasley thought it would be funny to make a mockery of the Slytherin team captain by having Peeves throw ink at her as she tried to run down the moving staircases. 

“That bloody…” she muttered as she roughly scrubbed her scalp. She’d been at it for what felt like hours when the dye finally washed away, and the raven-winged color of her long braids was finally visible again. 

Enraged, (Y/N) stomped out of the bathroom, envisioning ways to get her revenge. In her anger and fantasies of all the means of torture she could inflict upon the irritating prankster, she was barely aware of her feet carrying her down to the ever-calming bioluminescence of the  Slytherin common room. She waved her wand violently, blowing around a stack of papers and knocking over a desk, catching the attention of Blaise Zabini. 

The boy seemed slightly frightened as he said, “Hey (Y/N/N), you alright?”

(Y/N) huffed with irritation. “Oh, I’m more than alright. I’m ready to knock Weasley off his bloody broom.”

-

The Great Hall was alive with conversation. Some students excitedly cast charms, creating fireworks with their house colors and animals, while others feasted on fruits and vegetables in preparation for the big match. Slytherin vs. Gryffindor games were always the most anticipated. The extreme disdain between the two teams brought out the absolute best in them as players. Even if it was occasionally violent, it made for a great game. 

Fred and George Weasley sauntered into the hall with the typical swagger of Gryffindors, scanning the tables and admiring the displays from the students. As Fred eyed the Slytherin table, his gaze fell upon her. There in her quidditch sweater, brown knee-high boots, and a horribly tempting skirt, the Slytherin Princess, who’d earned her title by getting the best grades in her house, being captain of the quidditch team, and being so ridiculously beautiful that even the proudest Gryffindors tried their luck with her, was sitting on the table, locked in conversation with Blaise Zabini and Emma Vanity- the Slytherin chasers.

“Discussing a new and improved strategy for the pitch?” Fred asked, approaching her. “I might as well tell you now, you’re wasting your time.”

(Y/N) turned to him with an eye roll.  “Keep taunting me, Weasel. It’s the most satisfaction you’ll get today.”

“Keep dreaming. Tell me, how’d you like my little gift yesterday?” Fred asked, resting his hands on the table and leaning close to her face.

(Y/N) hummed. “To be honest I’d expected more from you, beater. You couldn’t even do the job yourself. That scared of little old me?” 

“You wish. You’ll see out there today. Tell you what. If you win, which you won’t, I’ll reward you,” Fred smirked.

“Please, what could you possibly have that I want?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Too bad you’ll never find out.” Fred winked and walked over to the Gryffindor table, filling (Y/N) with so much irritation that it made her face hot.

-

Fred Weasley was eating his words.

The match was over before it began, the Slytherin players flying like bullets, (Y/N) ’s strategy working to absolute perfection, giving (Y/N) the perfect opportunity to catch the snitch without hesitation, winning the last game of the season.

The after-party was a blur of green and silver, fireworks, and cheering. One second (Y/N) was being hoisted up in the air by her teammates while they chanted her name; the next, she was playing games with giggle juice and fire whisky with her classmates. The snake lair was on fire with passion and excitement. While (Y/N) was reveling in it all, she had another celebration in mind. While her friends chanted so loud that the paintings were all forced to cover their ears, (Y/N) quickly slipped out of the common room and skipped happily up the stairs with a clear destination in mind.

As the sleeping form of the fat lady came into view, (Y/N) suddenly realized she had no actual plan. She couldn’t get into the Gryffindor common room, and even if she could, what would she do? Find Weasley in his dorm room and slap him? Cast a spell turning all the furniture silver and green to boast Slytherin pride? Steal Fred’s clothes while he was in the shower and- oh. Somewhat embarrassed at how eager she’d been to go to the Gryffindor common room and at how her thoughts kept wandering back to Fred, (Y/N) quickly turned around and began to go back to her dorm but was quickly stopped in her tracks.

Standing before her was the very person who’d been nagging at her thoughts all night. There was Fred Weasley, with dripping wet red hair and no shirt, looking down on her with irritation and amusement.

“Well well,” he said tauntingly, stepping closer and closer to her until her back was pressed against the wall. “Just what is the snake princess doing so close to the lion’s den? Came here to gloat?” Heat was radiating off of him. He was angry about the match.

(Y/N) swallowed, suddenly nervous, her usual Slytherin pride and confidence nowhere to be found. “As a matter of fact, Weaselbee, I’m here to see you. I told you I’d win, I’m here to claim my reward.”

Fred raised an eyebrow at this. He walked over to the fat lady, knocking on the portrait softly. The fat lady awoke with a jump, giving Fred a frustrated glare.  “Sorry about this,” said Fred. “Iced Mice.” The fat lady hesitated. “And just what are you doing bringing her in here?”

(Y/N)’ s bite finally returned as she spoke, “I can show you better than I can tell you. How about a charm for taking the tongues of bad singers?” Fred chuckled at that.

“Why, I never!” said the fat lady as she finally swung open the door.

Fred took hold of (Y/N) ’s hand as he walked in, dragging her behind him.

(Y/N)’ s words were full of venom as she whisper-shouted, “Just what do you think you’re doing, you slimy-”

“Just be quiet for once, princess.”

Indignation swelled in (Y/N) ’s chest, but she obeyed. Though she toothlessly fought back, attempting every now and then to snatch her arm away from him, deep down, she wanted to see where this would go.

Fred dragged her to a dark corner, taking her by her hips and lifting her onto a desk. 

“What the hell are you doing?” (Y/N) asked with a furious look, but there was no bite behind the glare. Her heart was pounding so loudly she was afraid he’d hear it. 

“You came for your reward, didn’t you? You were so desperate for it that you were willing to cheat during the match,” he said, moving her hair and leaning into her ear.

(Y/N) shuddered at the closeness before pushing him away. “I didn’t cheat, Weasley, the hell are you talking about?”

Fred hummed, smoking at her and placing his arms on either side of her, caging her in.

(Y/N) scoffed. “This is ridiculous, I can’t believe I wasted my time coming here. Have a nice life carrot top.”

(Y/N) pushed him again, hopping off the desk and starting to walk away from him, but Fred quickly grabbed her by the waist, pulling her back into him and placing a wet, passionate kiss on her lips. (Y/N)’ s eyes widened in shock as Fred Weasley, the person she hated most since first year, slipped his tongue into her mouth and lifted her back onto the desk. Shocked and confused, she pushed him away a third time.

Fred looked deeply into her eyes, a tendril of red hair hanging over his eyes, making him impossibly more attractive. “Oh c’mon, love, don’t act like you don’t want it too. Like you haven’t wanted it since fourth year when you walked in on me showering after the quidditch cup.”

(Y/N)’s face got hot at the memory. “I hate you. You hate me. I’m the “princess of Slytherin,” remember?”

“Well then, your highness, allow me to serve you,” said Fred, dropping to his knees.

“What are you doing?” (Y/N) asked, her voice shaking as Fred ran his hands up and down her thighs, barely past her skirt. The tight little green dress and those white knee-high socks she was wearing had been driving him crazy since he first saw them, and he wanted nothing more than to see what was hidden underneath them.

“I’m rewarding you, even if you did cheat like a naughty little serpent, somehow I feel like this will be just as much as a reward for me.” He spread her legs wide, getting in between them and slowly peeling back her skirt.

(Y/N) breathed in sharply. “You have tormented me for six years, and now you expect me to let you use me to get off?’ 

“‘M sorry,” said Fred, kissing her thigh softly. (Y/N) shuddered. Fred kissed his way up to her sopping wet heat, muttering “I’m sorries” between every kiss. He finally made his way to her lacy undergarment, placing a soft kiss there. “You’re so wet, darling,” he said, popping his head out and looking at her, “It seems like you’ve already forgiven me.”

“In your bloody dreams, Weasley,” (Y/N) said with an unconvincing scoff. “I’ll hate you until the day I die.”

Fred hummed before quickly dipping his head back between her thighs, sliding her panties to the side, and licking a long stripe through her slick.

(Y/N) let out a throaty moan at the sensation, gripping the desk tightly. 

Fred chuckled against her, the vibrations making her breathe in deeply. “What was that about you hating me, love?” he asked.

“Shut up and get on with my reward, asshole.”

Fred smirked. “As you wish, your grace.”

Fred grabbed her thighs tightly and went to work, taking her clit into his mouth and sucking it like a starving man. (Y/N) moaned loudly before placing her hand over her mouth. Fred looked up at her, his sudden pause making her whimper. “No, no, no, darling. Don’t hide the noises.” He slowly pushed a single long finger inside her. “Let the whole school know.” Another finger. He looked into her eyes with a wicked smile. “Let them all hear how the snake princess let a lion make her scream.” He added two fingers that time and rapidly pumped in and out. And, just as he said she would, (Y/N) screamed. She went to cover her mouth again, but with his free hand, he took both of her wrists and held them in front of her. It burned, but it felt so good. (Y/N) began to move her hips slightly to increase the sensation, making Fred smile. “That’s it, beautiful, good girl. Good girl.” Fred spoke in a way that was almost patronizing. If she weren’t so close to the edge, she probably would have made some snarky remark, but (Y/N) couldn’t think straight as the pressure in her stomach was building up, and the Weasley boy was making her see stars. She let out another loud moan, throwing her head back as the pressure became unbearable. 

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK,” (Y/N) screamed as Fred’s fingers slammed into her g-spot, and she finally couldn’t take it anymore. (Y/N) let out a scream as she came, barely aware of anything around her. Her vision went blurry as the hot juices spilled out of her. Fred wasted no time re-attaching his mouth to her drenched cunt, licking up her juices until she was clean. “Mmm, sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. Surprising for such a nasty girl,” Fred said, slapping her thigh, sliding her panties back over, and standing up.

He placed his arms on either side of her, staring at her intensely, his hair disheveled and her cum around his mouth. (Y/N) matched his gaze with equal intensity, her heart pounding, a million questions running through her head. After a few beats of silence, she finally spoke. 

“I still hate you.”

Fred actually laughed at that, shaking his head before looking back at her. “Beat me again, princess, and I’ll give you a better reward then my fingers and my  mouth,” he rasped into her ear before walking off to his dorm room, leaving her with her legs spread on a table of the Gryffindor common room.

“We’ll see how much you hate me then!”

[sulumuns-dootah]

If WHB had PvP: King interactions

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

A/N: Started playing new gacha game with PvP arena and got me thinking how the kings would react to having to fight other kings or their own selves ^^

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Satan vs. Satan

"Wait, that's me?! Do I also have clones now like that fly bastard?"

"Hahaha I hope he enjoyed that as much as I did!"

"I'm not that short, c'mon!"

"Do you think that guy also has his own Sitri or do we both share him?

Satan vs. Mammon

"Who are you calling short?"

"This is what you get for taking what's mine!"

"Do you notice me now?"

"Heh, you won't see this one coming"

Satan vs. Beelzebub

"No matter how many clones he has, I'll beat him anyway"

"You stay away from my knees! Don't want a repeat of last time."

"This was the last time your clones took turns with MC!"

"After we're done here, wanna grab drinks?"

Satan vs. Leviathan

"Here's a little taste of what will happen the next time you'll try to kill MC!"

"About time someone burst that bubble of yours!"

"Time to wake up and smell the roses!"

"Who even is this guy, wanting to go back to school?"

Satan vs. Belphegor

"Man, imagine being able to sleep. Couldn't be me!"

"Oh hey, did anyone else see that corpse reanimate itself?"

"For someone who sleeps all the time, he sure does look tired."

"That guy Beleth, I could use someone like him too."

Satan vs. Lucifer

"Heh, look who just became a harmacist!"

"I wonder... if he injured me, would he also heal me afterwards?"

"When I first met him, he seemed weaker... Still, he's no match for me!"

"I heard a squeak earlier... Did I accidentally step on that tiny piss ballon?

Mammon vs. Satan

"Oh? I'm sorry, I didn't notice you down there."

"I don't mean to be rude. It seems he's very insecure about many things."

"He's like an adorable kitten when he wants to play punch."

"I like small things"

Mammon vs. Mammon

"Ah, what a strange state of affairs. I must've somehow gotten multiplied."

"If there's two of me, does that mean we must share?"

"Do I own him or does he own me?"

"So this is what it feels like to be a Beelzebub."

Mammon vs. Beelzebub

"My subjects tell me he's more in Tartaros than in his own country"

"His food is palatable with enough gold on it."

"If I recall correctly, he tried to eat one of the pillars in my castle."

"I won't hold back the next time he whisks my master away."

Mammon vs. Leviathan

"That coffin seems valuable, I shall look into it more"

"I must admit, Hades is a beautiful country."

"Leviathan could use a visit to one of many Tartaros' spas."

"He's so pale. He should go out more."

Mammon vs. Belphegor

"I do respect a country which hasn't descended into chaos with the king mostly absent."

"I shall send him some new bedsheets. Who knows when was the last time he's had them changed."

"Ahahah, I do admit you do have a very unique power!"

"Such lifestyle does look appealing, alas my country would greatly miss my presence."

Mammon vs. Lucifer

"I respect you deeply. This is nothing personal."

"If you require financial aid, do not hesitate to ask."

"I hope Buer is satisfactory in his position as a healer"

"Do you miss your father as much as I sometimes do?"

Beelzebub vs. Satan

"Huhu, you're cute trying to fight me!"

"Oh, we were fighting?"

"I'm bored, let's jump someone together!"

"Hm, I kinda want a snack now."

Beelzebub vs. Mammon

"I could use a bigger meal."

"I just heard one of the Tartaros' beaches calling me. I have to go."

"Maybe we could go visit my favorite Abyssos casinos afterwards!"

"Hm, I wonder how the pillars in his castle taste like."

Beelzebub vs. Beelzebub

"Oh hello, me!"

"I see you're handling everything here, so I'll just get going."

"If you go to that café in Gehenna, I can go to that stall with fish sweets in Hades..."

"Are you Bael or are you really me?"

Beelzebub vs. Leviathan

"Levi! Nice to see you again!"

"I wonder if he liked the last souvenir I bought him..."

"C'mon, next time I'm in Hades I'm treating you to a fish steak!"

"Sometimes I think he'd love to give me a noose around neck too."

Beelzebub vs. Belphegor

"You won't mind if I borrow Beleth for a few weeks, right?"

"Ah, how is Andrealphus doing?"

"I wish I wasn't so busy and could just lay in bed all day!"

"If only Bael was here to see how well can a country flourish without the king being around all the time."

Beelzebub vs. Lucifer

"Next time invite your angel brothers along."

"I don't need anymore shots for now."

"Another Seraphim down."

"Paradise Lost is pretty, but the smell is horrible."

Leviathan vs. Satan

"Ah, how pitiful you'd even try to mesure up to me."

"Size matters, don't you know?"

"I expected nothing less from you."

"Someday you might grow out of it."

Leviathan vs. Mammon

"A shame, truly. You seemed as a worthy ally."

"Money isn't really what matters. It's beauty."

"That palace of his is very tacky, don't you think?"

"I've won, of course."

Leviathan vs. Beelzebub

"Ugh, just please stop talking."

"You're lucky you're not one of my subjects."

"I shall end you quickly to end my suffering."

"I wish I could be back at my castle."

Leviathan vs. Leviathan

"Finally, I get to defeat myself and come as the winner!"

"Who dares to multiply me and make me compete with myself?!"

"Hm... That color doesn't seem to suit my complexion."

"I'm jealous of other people for being able to see me from such point of view."

Leviathan vs. Belphegor

"Oh, to be able to stay at home all day without being interrupted."

"My coffin is way more comfortable than that cheap bed."

"Hades is beautiful and blooming, unlike Niflheim."

"Where is this Beleth I keep hearing about?"

Leviathan vs. Lucifer

"I shall keep an eye on you at all times."

"All angels are deemed untrustworthy in my eyes."

"I will never forgive your kind for what you've done to us."

"Perhaps, you'd also like to forget your past?"

Belphegor vs. Satan

"Man, your existence's gotta be terrible..."

"Jeez, why are you so loud?"

"Anger drains so much energy..."

"Couldn't be me..."

Belphegor vs. Mammon

"Nice pillows..."

"All that gold looks uncomfortable.."

"Wonder how nice the hotels are in Tartaros..."

"Can ya get me some figures at the Hellcon?"

Belphegor vs. Beelzebub

"Ya exhaust me..."

"Tell Bael I ain't givin' Beleth to anyone.."

"Ya gotta be tired from all that runnin' 'round..."

"Ugh, I'm exhausted..."

Belphegor vs. Leviathan

"Six... I'll have ya obliterated!"

"Ya remind me of that one anime character that dies in the end..."

"Imagine putting all that work in just to look like that..."

"I wonder when they'll announce another season..."

Belphegor vs. Belphegor

"Oh?"

"Well, what in tarnation?"

"Makes me double tired..."

"Ope, am I still dreamin'?"

Belphegor vs. Lucifer

"Hospital beds ain't comfy..."

"This Hell might be big enough for the two of us..."

"Agares might need ya soon, if he don't shape up..."

"That Andrealphus, he seems hurt, check up on him, will ya?"

Lucifer vs. Satan

"Humans believe you've taken on all my wrath towards my father. Thank you for relieving me of such impure emotions."

"You. I'd expected you taller."

"I deeply apologise for all the grief my brothers have caused you."

"Morax asked me to remind you to wear your mouth guard."

Lucifer vs. Mammon

"Ah, father must've been very generous while creating you."

"I can sense a deep sadness within you..."

"If your horn stump becomes painful, my doctors can help you."

"There were many demons who required back pain treatment after carrying his riches."

Lucifer vs. Beelzebub

"I was told my brother fears you. If that is what will keep him in line, I shall support such occurence."

"That Phenomenon, what exactly is it?"

"I believe you're due in for another health check up."

"They call him wandering king and yet I have yet to see him vacation in Paradise Lost."

Lucifer vs. Leviathan

"My lord, you truly are the epitome of vanity."

"Could you please keep your servant in check, so we do not have to use spells to ensure our morgue doesn't get broken into?"

"The amount of Hades demons addmited to the hospital because of thorn injuries is great. I wonder why?"

"I am deeply sorry for all the horrible things you've been through. I should've intervened."

Lucifer vs. Belphegor

"I feel insulted to be now considered your fellow."

"I believe we do have a cure for narcolepsy, If you'd be interested."

"Beleth, that name sounds familiar..."

"That halo doesn't seem like it was your to begin with."

Lucifer vs. Lucifer

"Has... father created another copy of me?"

"Am I so easily replaceable?"

"So this is how all the other demons see me... I now understand."

"If there's two of me, I shall work twice as hard now..."

[mochinomnoms]

Yo hear me out for the requests:

A yuu who loves cooking x Jade who never stops eating. It's an unstoppable force meets an immovable energy. Jade thinks theirs no more food coming and then Yuu sets another plate infront of him. Yuu thinks Jade is finally getting full but then he just holds up his plate and asks for seconds. Grim is in heaven snacking on the extra food and Azul is about to have a breakdown because how fucking fast does your metabolism work for you to eat like that?!?!?!

Also can the reader be male or transmasc? Thank you so much!

🦩

Describing this dynamic as unstoppable force vs immovable energy is so immensely funny for me for some reason alksjlakjaf

Jade is indeed a vacuum for food, and it's such a silly fun fact that goes over your head when you're playing.

Someone who enjoys cooking and feeding people is probably one of the best traits for a partner for Jade, though I don't think he really thinks about that.

Yes, he can acknowledge that he may be a glutton, but he doesn't actively think about it. So he doesn't actively think about how often his boyfriend is cooking and feeding him exorbitant amounts of food.

"How many plates have you eaten? You have to be full by now, poor (Name) is probably exhausted!"

The first bite of food of his sixth plate of pasta is already gone and a second bite ready to go by the time Azul finished his sentence.

"Hm? What do you mean Azul, this is a perfectly average amount to eat."

Azul gestured to you over the stove, Grim on the counter left of you licking the sauce off of one of three pans next to the sink, while you were happily measuring out your ingredients for another serving.

"Oh, it's fine Azul! I don't mind, I'm happy Jade likes my cooking so much!"

"That's right Azul, if (Name) places a plate in front of me, well it would be just rude to refuse his cooking! Are you suggesting I be rude to my dear boyfriend, Azul?"

Jade let our a soft chuckle at Azul's sour face, happily taking big bites of his pasta once again as you turned to place a plate in front of Azul.

"Here Azul, you eat too, I know you hardly do at lunch." You smile and laughed as Jade happily handed you another empty plate. That made seven.

"Do you even get full Jade?" You teased him, taking the plate and placing it with the rest and quickly making another serving.

"I swear, I can feed two entire families of six with how much you eat!"

Despite your words, you seemed blissful and finally sat down next to Jade, tucking his longer strand of hair behind his ear.

"It's fine though, I like doing this. It's nice to see someone I care about enjoy my cooking so much."

Jokingly pouting and poking at Jade's full cheeks, you whined, "You should be more grateful though! This isn't something boyfriends just do back home!"

"Oh?" Azul questioned you, taking small bites out of his own plate as Jade took another large bite. "What do you mean?"

Getting back up to ready another plate for Jade, you cooed out with a smile, "He's getting a sneak peek at life with me as a husband."

Few things can catch Jade of guard, but based on his surprised choking, you can safely say you succeeded.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Quick! Info dump about your favorite blorbo!

König headcanons

NSFW content below the cut, 18 + only (These apply to yandere König as well, the toxic stuff is marked with a red flag 🚩)

Does like 50 crunches and 50 pushups first thing in the morning when he wakes up, as he has done since he was a teenager.

Will fix everything from cars to furniture. If the door is creaking he will oil the hinges immediately. Actually, he will treat every single thing in life as a problem... A problem he will fix.

He's great at math and physics and has vast amounts of knowledge about mechanics, thermodynamics, even things like quantum theory and other complex astronomy stuff.

He's completely clueless when it comes to following trends and memes. You have to explain every other tiktok to him. He rarely uses emojis but when he does, it's awkward and slightly intimidating because König doesn't know the hidden meanings behind them. If you send him an eggplant or peach emoji he asks if you need veggies from the store.

Loves your cooking (even if it's just microwaved mac and cheese). If you start to feed this man, you'll never get rid of him.

This is your classic mama’s boy who never had to learn how to cook and then went to the army and got used to the facility taking care of him so… yeah. Doesn't know how to cook but will try to help in any way he can! König is very excited to see you’re making food and wanders into the kitchen like “What are we making today?” You can try and give him a chopping board, an onion and a knife, but this poor man doesn't even peel the onion unless you tell him he has to remove the outer layer first...

Eats like a horse. Is secretly afraid that you run out of food. Goes to the fridge and if it's half full, he will not take the snack he was supposed to have, only comments: "The fridge looks empty." (It's not a passive aggressive statement, he's just worried.)

Also: everytime there's a crisis somewhere – he follows the news neurotically – König starts to prep. There's a month's worth of food stashed in one of the cupboards at all times. He also preps fuel, propane, medicine and the like.

Ruins all the fun when you're playing board games because he fusses about the rules so much. König holds the rulebook in his hand through the whole game and double-checks every single thing.

He's very clumsy, sometimes hits his head on the door frame when he's in a hurry or visiting a new place. He can't stay still either, always shakes his leg when he’s sitting. König needs a lot of exercise when he's not deployed to get all that energy and frustration out.

This has been discussed earlier but yeah, König even drops his mags sometimes in the field because he's too excited. He's a very capable martial artist though. Has done Savate, Escrima and Pekiti-Tirsia Kali and is very agile and precise with the double kali sticks he carries to field sometimes. Suddenly his clumsiness disappears when he has to knife someone, kick someone in the head or beat them to death with those sticks.

This is the reason König fucked up his sniper dreams too: having to control his breath, lie still for long amounts of time, then take aim and shoot a rifle vs. aiming during an adrenaline high, giving a tight spurt or two with his SMG… The latter just comes naturally to him! If you ask him how he managed to take down a human trafficking cell all alone König will say he simply "got carried away."

König goes to the gym a lot. Gets back super pumped and with an urgent need to make love. But not before he's had a cold shower! It's almost like a ritual: he has to torture himself with weights and cold water first before he can have his prize (= access to a woman)

Wakes you up in the middle of the night because he started to worry about petty, stupid things and then got a lil horny. Humps your leg or your back very, very slowly while grunting in your ear: "Hey... Hey. Are you sleeping…?" (Like. Yes, König, I was but I'm not anymore, thanks for asking)

Asks what kind of fantasies you have all of a sudden while you two are cuddling. Asks very detailed questions about them too. If you ask him what kind of fantasies he has in return, König will tense up and then say he doesn't really know, perhaps something like… a blowjob in the forest… And somehow you just know that his real fantasies are so perverse you don't even want to know more about them.

If you "nag" or yell at him, he might get a boner.

If you notice and get offended, ask: "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?!' König will freeze and look at you with a bewildered, obsessed stare and go: "Ja..?" while the boner situation in his pants gets visibly worse.

🚩 Would never go to bed before you've settled your argument. The problem is that it's very difficult for König to apologize because he always thinks he's in the right and that you simply need some time to come to that conclusion too. If you give him the silent treatment he will eventually come to you, gets all touchy and asks surprisingly demurely: "Are you still angry with me?"

🚩 The minute you forgive him or decide it was a stupid argument anyways, the demure puppy act disappears. König thinks he won and that it's time for some makeup sex ❤️

Has like the longest cock known to man. He has actual trouble finding comfortable underwear to fit that beast into. It's beautiful but intimidating, uncut, smooth and sleek. Not too thick but certainly not thin either. He likes to keep himself tidy down there too so the lack of hair makes this murder weapon look even bigger.

You two occasionally break furniture while having sex. It's mainly his fault (he gets carried away). He's very upset about it afterwards though, looks at the destruction he caused, muttering "Scheisse…" while rubbing the back of his neck. Then he tries to fix it while you're still there with your legs shaking and in need of aftercare.

If you remind him that he has other duties first, perhaps whimper his name in frustration, König will apologize and carry you to bed. He gives you that precious aftercare with unwavering passion and attention every time you ask for it ❤️ He's just a little clueless sometimes (König is also neuroatypical, either has AD/HD or falls somewhere in the autism spectrum)

🚩 Hates condoms with an intense passion. You're practically forced to take birth control pills or whatever so that he can cum inside you. This man's whining will ultimately gain a level that's absolutely ridiculous if you don't.

The first time you do it without the rubber, he sounds like he's about to cry. He tells you a hundred times how good it feels, and won't pull out until he grows soft and is kind of forced to do so. For a man who's never even heard of a breeding kink, he seems vehement about keeping his load inside you.

🚩Grunts and whispers loving but obsessive things in your ear while making love to you. You're mine, Say it, Promise that you're mine, I don't want to live without you, Why do you feel so good? at first… but as he approaches his peak, König switches to German. You have no clue what he’s saying, but from the way he spits those sentences through gritted teeth you get the feeling that it must be something desperate and that perhaps it's a blessing you don't understand his native tongue...

🚩🚩If you leave your phone on the table he tries to stalk it and check the notifications. He's so jealous it's unreal, if he sees you receive a message from some other guy König will start a circus. He needs to know all about your connection with this man. After that, he wants you to go through your contacts and show him how many guys there are and tell him what your affiliations are with them. If you're on social media König wants to go through your friends/those you follow. You have to give an account who they are and why you follow them.

🚩🚩🚩 You get a feeling he's forming a list of people he has to kill if you don't tell him they're just a cousin or something 💀

[peachy-wolfhard]

dating toge inumaki II

warnings: cuteness, erm plushie incest, toge gets cucked in Stardew Valley, “pretty princess” is used once

word count: 861

These are hopefully sweeter than Part 1

I have way too many thoughts about this freak

Sleepovers are a must and Toge is the number one sleepover planner even if the sleepovers are last minute

Facemasks! Movie night! Mario Kart! EVERYTHING!!!

Absolutely WILL try and sabotage your Mario Kart win. He likes to push, bite, hiss… anything a younger sibling would do

He likes to play the VS races so he can continuously blue-shell you

Toge loves doing every cute couple's tiktok trends. His favorite so far is the matching nail polish to your eyes

“Honey! Honey! Salted salmon cod roe!” as Toge runs up to you pointing and grinning.

“Hold on! Stop jumping!” you giggle taking the phone from his hand. Watching the TikTok he was too excited to show you, it's a couple showing their eyes next to nail polish their partner picked out. Looking up from his phone, Toge frantically points back and forth between the two of you, practically buzzing.

“You wanna do this wi-” “SALMON SALMON SALMON!” the curse speech user cuts you off all while jumping up and down, holding your shoulders

Another trend he likes is painting your partner, he takes all the couple challenges seriously but ESPECIALLY this one

“Ugh, I hate how all these guys never try on these” Toge types and rests on your hip to read.

“Never try on what?” you reply resting your chin atop his head, stroking his hair. Toge swipes to a TikTok of a couple that painted each other and skips to the end, the man shows his painting of his s/o as her face falls, it looks more like an unflattering caricature. 

“Let's do this! Need to paint my pretty princess :3 need the love of my life immortalized in a painting” Toge types giggling into your neck

Speaking of cute couple things! He definitely makes you a highlight on Instagram. Its wither named something like “(your initial) <3333” or “my wet cat :3”

Half of the posts are .5’s of you eating or the most gorgeous images ever taken by a human

FACETIMING!!!! He might not be able to speak BUT Facetime is still fun. He likes it when you give him a haul of all the stuff you bought

Jokingly gets jealous over the fictional characters you like (getting meta here woah)

“The things I'd let that man do should be illegal,” giggling as Toge pouts, arms crossed over his chest like a child.

“Absolutely devious and heinous things,” Toge groans then pretends to cry, throwing his head in between his knees. Ignoring your dramatic boyfriend, you continue the movie.

“WHAT ABOUT ME????? WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEE”

“ILL NEVER BE HIM”

A flurry of messages comes through, all with the overarching theme of “I'll never be him”

“I mean we could dye your hair”

Toge likes to sneak into your dorm after long missions just because. You feel the bed move under his weight. Toge proceeded to wiggle his way closer to you, lifting your waist gently to place his arm under, pulling you somehow even closer. Resting his chin on your shoulder, “Hi”

Toge likes to keep his collar zipped up and mumble so you have to lean closer to him to hear him then pull it down and quickly kiss you

Play fighting is his all-time favorite pastime. Play fighting either means just wrestling around or picking you up and slamming you on any soft surface

Mystery box addict over here. Toge loves all mystery boxes but ESPECIALLY those Tokidoki ponies and the Sanrio ones

100% makes you guys open them together and record it

“Hi chat. We got blind boxes again,” you say holding up one of the many blind boxes you and Toge had purchased that day

“We bought so much today I don't think we have enough for groceries,” “Salmon”

“Which one do you want? I want the onion or corn pony,” Toge leans over and looks at the back of your box, and taps frantically on the pony that looks like a potato. Unfortunately for you two, you both get radish.

Plushie. Demon. Toge either glares at your plushies or makes them kiss and makes them hump each other

“BABY STOP THEYRE SIBLINGS!! YOU'RE MAKING THEM COMMIT INCEST STAWP!!!”

Dinner nights with the rest of your friends are quite common. Most of the time Toge makes dinner and invites your friends

Dinner also (most of the time) morphs into an unexpected sleepover (you guys forgot how late it was and now can't leave the dorm without being seen)

Toge loves playing video games with you. Even if you don’t play the kind of games he plays

“Grrrr,” Toge grows like a dog at your Stardew Valley character.

“Be quiet freak I'm talking to my husband. Go to the mines we need coal,”

“I'm being cucked in my own save file,” Toge texts you before running to the mines

MATCHING EVERYTHING OMG

Matching phone charms, headbands, sleep masks, PLUSHIES!!! Literally everything that can match you guys have it

[shadowed-dancer]

Villains and Their Fates - A Tragedy Would Have Been Fine By Me

I've seen a lot of people who try to write off frustration with the league's fates by saying "you just wanted them to survive" or "you're just upset your favourite character died". And while that may be true for a few people, I know that it's at least not true for myself (which must mean there are others who feel the same way). So today I'm here to share my thoughts. Despite liking the villains and wanting them to be redeemed, I was also willing to accept a well written ending if they died. I just wanted to ramble a bit about the three main villains (mostly Toga) and how I felt a tragic ending could have been improved.

The only villain I felt should have lived is Dabi, but that's more because of the awkwardness his unconfirmed death caused for Shoto (read this beautifully written analysis for more). If Dabi had to die, he should have died on the battle field OR in the hospital surrounded by family where he gets a few last words in. Leaving his fate unconfirmed leads to the ruined Shoto arc, but is also just weird for a character who has existed for so long. You're telling me that even Overhaul gets a confirmed ending but DABI doesn't?

I've also talked a bit about how Endeavor's survival ruins the subplot, and in 426 he continues by making Touya's final appearance about him (rather than the two brothers) but that's something I've talked about too much. If Endeavor has to be alive and hogging screen time, the least Hori could do is imply Touya will survive rather than die, so at least Enji isn't literally stealing time from his other family members to have some interaction with Touya.

If Touya has to end up in that machine, an ideal ending would have been the doctor saying "it will be a gruelling and near-impossible uphill climb to recovery" and then Shoto can smile and say "he's done it before". Boom. Simple as that. Leave it open, but at least on a positive note so we can assume that the family will have plenty of time to reconcile, as opposed to an unknown (but limited) amount of time that Enji vows to use to talk to him (yeah I know it's supposed to be a sweet gesture but even Touya calls bullshit on it). Let Shoto and Touya eat their soba, damn it!

For Shigaraki, my grievances extend to the writing of the entire final battle between him and Deku. As such, I don't have much to say aside from that because it really is just a product of poor writing. Neither were really allowed to talk before the big moment (hell, the vestiges were narrating Deku's emotions half the time like "he must be upset, this quirk meant so much to him". Why not let him tell us???) and the back-and-forth of Shigaraki being destroyed and then not only to be destroyed again was too much. It felt sloppy and hard to follow, and once you figured it out it just felt dumb. It's as if each chapter needed some massive reveal, but the story had done it so much at this point that it just felt tired and like it was happening "because Hori said so", and that should never be what drives a story.

Speaking of "because Hori said so"...

Oh Toga. Out of all the villains, I actually liked her confrontation the most. (Lies. If Dabi vs Shoto was the end of Dabi's fight, THAT would have been the best. But the Endeavor fight ruins it). Despite having limited screen time, Toga and Uraraka had a surprisingly well-built dynamic. Their few interactions were actually meaningful and created a strong foundation for a fight, and at the very least they had more of a personal connection than Deku and Shigaraki ever did. I think that Toga giving her blood to someone she loves (as opposed to drinking/taking their blood like she had said the whole series) is a beautifully tragic end to her character, but still something that could have fit.

To me, the problem comes with how she died. Let me replay the scene for you: Toga stabs Uraraka in the stomach and Uraraka bleeds too much because she keeps moving around. Toga then realizes she doesn't want Uraraka to die. To save her life, Toga has to do a blood transfusion with herself as a donor and she dies because she has to give ALL her blood.

Now... sure. Ok. Fine. Yeah. Maybe by real-world logic this makes sense. I guess. Whatever. But within the world of MHA, this setup is laughable.

Here's a list of things characters survived (or at least, they survived LONG ENOUGH to get to a hospital rather than dying on the battlefield): Deku shattering his bones with 1 million percent, whatever happened to Best Jeanist when AFO attacked him, Nighteye getting a massive spike through the torso, All Might with "his entrails strewn across the ground", Bakugo becoming Swiss cheese, Grand Torino being punched so hard a crater forms beneath him, Touya being a literal flaming skeleton, Bakugo's heart exploding, Edgeshot becoming a worm. Mirko getting a limb ripped off and then running full speed at Shigaraki. That's just off the top of my head, I know there's probably more.

But you want to tell me that Uraraka getting stabbed and then moving was a fatal wound that required ALL TOGA'S BLOOD? ALL OF IT? The reason Toga's death bothers me is that the setup cheapens the actual moment of sacrifice. It feels preventable, so when she tells us that Uraraka is going to die without her blood, all I could do is roll my eyes because I'm not allowed to use critical thinking skills, I have to just accept what Hori says and take it at face value.

If the author wants you to live as Edgeworm despite saying you were gonna die, you can. But if the author needs a stab wound to be fatal and require ALL of someone's blood? Well tough luck bud, that's just how it goes. Mirko can run and move all she wants after having a limb ripped off, but moving a bit after one stab wound is fatal. Why? Because I say so.

If Uraraka's wound was actually serious then this ending would have been a beautiful tragedy. But as it stands now, the ridiculousness of her wound makes it all feel preventable.

Oh, there's also the fact that Toga switching blood types when she transforms was never established, but I've rambled enough.

That's it. Thanks for reading!

[cozage]

Could you write headcanons where luffy, sanji, law, and zoro react to their s/o shouting i hate you in a heated argument out of anger and it’s angst to comfort because she didn’t really mean it? thank you <3

A/N: Wow! Talk about complete opposites here with Sanji & Luffy vs Law & Zoro. This was a fun angst request! Thanks!

Characters: female reader x luffy, sanji, law, zoro

Cw: angst (but all happy endings!)

Total word count: 1k

Hate is Such a Strong Word

Luffy

You can see the shock in his eyes, the pain in his face. It’s so clear that he’s taken aback by your words and for the first time in your recent memory, Luffy is silent for a long time. He just stares at you, trying to decipher your words.

You instantly regret saying it. He’s like a little puppy who’s been scolded and didn’t even realize what he did wrong. Except he does realize what he did, he just didn’t realize it was such a big deal until this moment. 

His voice trembles when he speaks. “You don’t mean that, do you? You don’t really hate me, right?”

He wraps you in a hug, not giving you a chance to respond. He holds you so tight there's no chance for escape. “Take it back,” he begs. “I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

You sigh, wrapping your arms around him too. “No, Luffy, I don’t hate you. I'm sorry I said that.”

He gives you an extra tight squeeze and then releases you. He’s not one to hold a grudge, so he apologizes again for upsetting you and promises to do better in the future, already forgetting your misspoken words. 

Sanji

As soon as the words came out of your mouth, Sanji knew his worst nightmare had come true. You were finally done with him.

He spent a moment deciding if he should beg for forgiveness or if he should accept your hatred, but you stormed out of the room before he could make a decision. 

He prepares the finest snacks for you and the girls to share. He silently sets them down while you all are chatting, even though you’re still giving him the cold shoulder. He lets you vent and get everything off your chest with them, even if it makes him look like the bad guy. 

He spends all afternoon preparing your favorite dessert, and when he sees that you’re finally done talking with the girls, he calls you over and apologizes for his wrongdoing that made you so upset. You accept both his verbal apology and his dessert one. 

But things are different between you two. He’s more distant, more nervous around you than before. Finally you confront him about it, and he admits your words have been weighing on his mind. 

It’s then that you realize how important words are to Sanji. You apologize with words and kisses and anything else you can think of to make it up to him. You remind yourself to give him more words of affirmation to help show your love, and you swear that those words will never come out of your mouth again. 

Law

His eye twitches when you scream it out to him, and his face turns to steel. “If you hate me so much, then leave.”

He storms out of the room without letting you respond. He wants the satisfaction of having the last word in this argument. You’re too angry to care.

He locks himself in his office for the most part. When he comes out of his room, he rampages through the ship. He’s slamming doors and cabinets shut, throwing things down harder than normal, everything he does is just super aggressive. 

“Why don't you just apologize?” Penguin finally asks. “Because I didn’t do anything wrong!” Law yells back, his words echoing through the whole ship. 

This man is too prideful to apologize first. It’s a waiting game between the two of you. You don’t sleep together, he stops eating meals with the crew.

You finally cave, and knock softly on his office door. He doesn’t answer.

“I’m sorry I said I hated you,” you say through the door. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t know why I said that. It was a really stupid thing to say”

The door finally opens, and you can see dark circles under his eyes. He pulls you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head. “And I’m sorry for what I did. I’ll do better in the future.” 

The whole crew breathes a sigh of relief, knowing you two are okay again.

Zoro

At first the words didn't faze him. You continued screaming at each other, voices rising louder to outdo one another. 

And then the words came again. “I hate you Roronoa Zoro. I’ll never forgive you for this!” you screamed, and you stormed out the door, slamming it behind you. 

It was in the silence after that he realized the impact of your words. And he realizes that he’s scared. 

He tries to push down his anxiety by hiding in the crow’s nest and working out relentlessly. He’s avoiding everyone, but mostly you and your wrath.

He prays that you’ll come apologize to him, but after two days you still haven’t appeared in the crows nest. He’s constantly glancing out the deck, trying to find a glimpse of you whenever he can without getting caught. 

On the afternoon of the third day, he realizes he’ll have to spend another night without you if he doesn’t apologize soon, and he finally gives in. He climbs down the ladder and walks over to where you and Nami are sunning in some lounge chairs and stands over top of you, clearing his throat. “Can I talk to you alone?” his voice comes out irritated unintentionally.

“Not with that tone,” you shoot back, still mad at him. He grits his teeth, and you see a blush start to appear over his cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, and you can hear that he’s being genuine. “I didn’t mean to make you so upset.”

You sigh and get up from the chair, leading him away to talk in private. He continues to apologize, asking you how he can do better in the future. 

You’re pleased with this development, and you give him a quick peck on the lips to show all is well again. “I’m sorry too,” you say. “I said a lot of things I didn’t mean.”

“So, we’re okay?” he asks, looking at you inquisitively. “We’re okay,” you assure him.

[world0fmadness]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩ ˚ WRESTLING RINGS AND REDBULL

max verstappen x pro wrestler! reader

faceclaim: assorted but mainly maki itoh

୨୧ second fanfic / smau… i’m still not super confident in my work but thank you guys so much for your love on my last one <3 i’ve never in my life wrote fanfic / made smau so y’know, it means a whole lot to me and i’ll see if i want to keep making them over time

motogp: we had a special guest in the paddock today! none other than legendary wrestler yn ln who flew in from japan to drive some laps with marc and other drivers! watch here

ynfuckingln ✔️: had a sweet time! thanx for having me <3

❤️ liked by motogp and marcmarquez

> maxverstappen ✔️: you should come to our paddock next, it’s a lot more fun here

❤️ liked by ynfuckingln and redbullracing

> verstrapon: redbull get ON IT!

> marcmarquez ✔️: 😔

> oldf1lvr: waittt i kind of want that crossover… two constant winners that need to meet

iluvmarc: this is… pretty random no?

> steponmeyn: no! she’s loved motorbikes since forever, she has one herself and has said it’s her preferred form of transportation :)

ynlnsbackhand: she was trying to leave marc in the DUST lmao 😭

redbullracing: welcome yn ln to the grid! she’ll be doing a hot lap with max verstappen and debating motorcycles vs cars! tune in here

maxverstappenlvr: omg… they know EXACTLY what they’re doing 😭

maxverstappen ✔️: absolutely great meeting you yn ❤️ hope to see you in the paddock again sometime

❤️ liked by ynfuckingln and redbullracing

> ynfuckingln ✔️: lovely meeting you too max! as well as everyone else, i had an awesome time, would love to do it again sometime

❤️ liked by maxverstappen and danielricciardo

> danielricciardo ✔️: great meeting you, i’m sure we’ll be seeing you again soon…

> maxverstrapon: daniel ricciardo WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

landonorris ✔️: please don’t ever let this woman come back, she nearly killed me

> maxverstrapon: lmao what the fuck did she do to lando? 😭

ynfuckingln: he knows good places to eat and he has cute cats :)

ynlnsbackhand: we know it’s max yn…

❤️ liked by danielricciardo and landonorris

maxverstrapon: jimmy with the shadow plushie, love to see it

landonorris ✔️: who��s that scruffy homeless guy?

> ynfuckingln ✔️: mind your words lando… we don’t need a repeat of what happened at the paddock…

> maxverstappen ✔️: thank you for defending my honour

> landonorris ✔️: sorry yn and max, apology bouquet coming your way

maxverstappen: she knows good food and she can beat people up :)

maxverstrapon: i think they’re trying to soft launch… do they know we know they’ve had a fat crush on each other since the grid video?

❤️ liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, lewishamilton, oscarpiastri, marcmarquez and redbullracing

danielricciardo ✔️: happy for you mate ❤️

ynfuckingln ✔️: ❤️

❤️ liked by maxverstappen and danielricciardo

iluvmaxverstappen: how long until we see max at a match?

> maxverstrapon: oh my god i’d dieee 💔

steponmeyn: yn looking at max in the crowd at her latest match and dedicating her win to him 🥹

ynlnsbackhand: max can you fight?

> ynfuckingln ✔️: he cannot, but i can

> maxverstrapon: girl we know, now teach your man to fight so he can fight off the hoard of people that want you

> maxverstappen ✔️: stop telling people i can’t fight…

> ynfuckingln ✔️: sorry but it’s true honey <3

> maxverstappen ✔️: ☹️

ridemeyn: the way the camera panned to max everytime she did some crazy move KILLED ME 😭

> maxverstrapon: his thumbs up and goofy ass smile everytime she looked at him 💔

ynfuckingln: had my first ever match in australia today! thank you australia for having me, yet another winner belt to take home

danielricciardo ✔️: oi oi, what’s this then? my home land? and you didn’t tell me? i’m crushed yn… australia #1 🦘🇦🇺

❤️ liked by oscarpiastri

> ynfuckingln ✔️: this is why i didn’t tell you… i’d have to hear you saying australia #1 everytime i saw you…

> danielricciardo ✔️: the truth hurts ay?

> ynfuckingln ✔️: here we go…

> oscarpiastri ✔️: he’s not wrong though is he? congrats on the win yn!

ynlnsbackhand: such a good match! congrats mother

ridemeyn: we lost this woman to a man that drives in circles oh my goood 😩 (kidding, i’m happy she’s happy and they’re cute together)

maxverstappen ✔️: incredible match liefde, so proud of you ❤️

> ynfuckingln ✔️: thank you maxi moo ❤️

> landonorris ✔️: how on earth have you got him to let you call him that? what spell have you put on him?

> ynfuckingln ✔️: the spell of love (i threaten to put him in a headlock)

> maxverstappen ✔️: 🙄

maxverstrapon: i wanna see what their trophy / belt room looks like… shit is probably BLINDING 😩

[dark-fics-4-you]

Ahhh you knocked it out of the park!!! Thank you for doing my request (somno step bro Rafe). Would love if you did more or some virginity loss or something :) I feel like reader would catch Rafe being hard around her accidentally and get innocently curious

Saving the spicy stuff for a main chapters but I was inspired by this ask so here’s a lil blurb 😏

Rafe sat on the couch, scrolling through your instagram feed. Pic after pic of you at parties, past halloween costumes that were much too skimpy for you to be posting for just anyone to see, and photos of you posing with friends filled your profile.

He paused on a beach pic that you had posted a few weeks ago. Sarah was an excellent photographer, and you two frequently did little photoshoots together for each other.

You were in the sand, lying on your back on a blue beach towel, propped up by your elbows with your legs stretched out. The white bikini you were wearing barely covered anything, and Rafe could see your hardened nipples poking through the thin material.

His tongue darted between his lips, pants tightening as he grew hard. Rafe took a screenshot, saving the pic to his folder of his favorite pictures of you.

When he heard the door open behind him, he quickly pocketed his phone, glancing over his shoulder to see you bouncing in with a grin.

“Hey Rafey, I was looking for you!”

“C’mere bunny.” He gestured for you to come closer.

He wasn’t expecting you to climb into his lap for a hug.

You threw your legs over his lap, wrapping your arms around his chest and squeezing him in a hug.

Rafe tensed, trying to think about anything other than his adorable lil step sis sitting in his lap. Despite his efforts, he could feel himself getting harder as you squirmed.

“Do you think we could make a liquor run soon? I have that party with Sarah and John B and the other guys tonight!” You were clearly excited about the get together, a little too excited for Rafe’s comfort.

“You’re actually going to that?” Rafe asked in annoyance, trying to focus on something other than your bare thighs so close to him.

“I mean yeah, they’re my friends! I like hanging out with John B, Pope, Kie, and JJ!”

At the mention of JJ’s name, Rafe’s jaw tightened, jealously flashing through him.

He knew that JJ was just like all the other Pogues. No good trash from the Cut, who would steal and lie to get what they want. But Rafe’s qualms with JJ went beyond just Kook vs Pogue war.

Rafe knew that JJ liked you. It’s not like he had to be an genius to notice, he had seen JJ staring at you so many times that he had grown accustomed to hating the other blond even more than the rest of the Pogues.

JJ was nothing but bad news. The type of guy that slept around and broke new girl’s hearts weekly. The type of guy who would eat you alive if given the chance.

And the thought of JJ putting his hands on you, or even thinking about putting his hands on you, made Rafe want to explode with rage.

“You’ve been hanging around those pogues a lot recently,” Rafe spat out, jaw clenching.

“Ugh lighten up, Rafey. I’m here now, aren’t I?” You asked in annoyance as you rolled your eyes, shifting on his lap.

Rafe bit back a groan at the motion, passing it off as a cough.

“Damn Rafe, you gotta stop smoking, it’s already affecting your lungs,” you teased lightly, completely unaware of what he was hiding from you.

“Mm, hmm, you’re right bunny,” he said, distracted, mind somewhere much different than yours.

Suddenly, he remembered your plans for the night, and he was overwhelmed with the desire to keep you from going out, “you should stay in tonight, Y/N/N. We can watch a movie, one of your favorites. Plus I’ll make you all the drinks you want.”

“Mmm,” you considered his offer for a moment before making up your mind with an excited smile. “Okay! That sounds nice!”

When you shifted again, you noticed something poking at your ass.

“Rafeyy, do you have something in your pocket?”

“Oh uh, yeah, just my phone, Y/N/N,” Rafe lied.

And like the dumb, trusting little sister you were, you believed him.

[weebsinstash]

What do you MEAN the early access episodes of hazbin hotel are pre-orders that were limited quality and are sold out now?? 😫 you can't dangle something in front of my face and then take it away and tell me I have to wait 😫

Even that Vox vs Alastor song I linked before is hard to find on YouTube! Spindlehorse (totally justifibly i mean) is being really aggressive taking down clips people are making and uploading and I'm getting CRUMBS of these episodes and my impatient ass can't take it

I know I've been, you know, thirsting for Valentino but, now that we've seen more of him.... VOX THOUGH! The charisma! The panache! The style! The BEEFING with Alastor!

It's kinda too old for me to go searching for the link (someone found it for me, mid pencil art alert lol) but now I'm thinking of that one idea I had in the past where Val and Vox meet you in a bar/club and start bonding and thinking you're actually pretty interesting and you eventually pepper in these "my boyfriend doesn't let me-" kind of statements, and they're both, jealous af, but, you know. Don't wanna rock the boat and chase you off! So they kinda just keep hearing all these details, "oh, my boyfriend doesn't like me going to these kinds of places, I have to lie to him" "oh, you know, hubby doesn't like me drinking, so I have to sneak around" "ugh, my baby never wants to have fun like this"

I just picture now it evolving into a plot where you're fucking sick of your old fashioned BORING boyfriend who won't let you break up with him, literally you tell him you're done with him and he keeps showing up saying you're together, won't let you out from under his thumb, and you finally sidle up to Vox, "listen dude, I'll be real with you: I think we can help each other out"

I just see Reader doing the most petty shit because you want this stag GONE and you're full of anger and spite. Alastor is walking down the sidewalk thinking you're like, at book club with the gals, and suddenly he walks by a TV on display and here's Vox, "- and here with us in the station today is a very special guest-" and THERE YOU ARE, getting interviewed about being the partner of the Radio Demon!

"So, toots, what's it like, shackin up with Alastor?"

"Oh, you mean what is YEARS of no sex, no TV, no video games, and no weed like? I'd kill myself but I kinda already did that!"

"What, you mean you don't like dating some limp dick old timey FUCK?"

"Not as much as I've liked hanging out with you ;)"

All the radios in town are blaring deafening ANGRY static for hours while you and Vox are getting high and eating cheeseburgers and playing Monster Hunter somewhere while Valentino thinks about "acquiring you" as a little ~companion~ for his man (and maybe himself) right here and now since you two are already so cute together ❤️ I mean, they were already gonna scoop you up anyways, so he might as well rush the process, right?