#what is this tom foolery right here

[anxiousnerdwritings]

I am going FERAL over this imagine:

So basically Bruce brings reader home to be his new daughter/the boys' new sibling but Uh Oh! They now want you carnally and reader is just like "you said you wanted me as a daughter/sibling, wtf is this" and being their platonic darling is better than being shared between them romantically so reader tries to come off as innocent and child/sibling coded by being like "yeah I've never actually kissed or dated anyone before aren't I just so innocent" and the boys are like :)))

So then Dick says you can call him your boyfriend "just to feel it out" and Tim starts blatantly stealing your panties and Jason says he can give you your 1st kiss so you can "practice" with him and Bruce offers to teach you how to touch yourself and (and him) and when you try to walk it back cause the boys are being Freaks they're in their delulu era so eventually you end up tied to the bed with the boys and Bruce drawing straws over who gets to take what 1sts (like 1st date, kiss, virginity, ect).

And Damien is just in the background absolutely SEETHING cause the the boys and Bruce's Horny Time keeps interrupting his Mommy Time with the reader

And reader using Damien as kind of a shield cause what are they going to do, feel you up in front of a CHILD? Like just, "Stay Platonic :))"

Just that kind of pseudo incest makes me Feel Things (*/∀＼*)(///∇///)

I'd love your thoughts/a fic based on this! Ty ❤️

TW: Brief mentions of pseudo incest(y) scenarios/behavior, manipulative tactics, yandere tendencies

(Okay so I’ll answer this with my thoughts for right now.)

I know I primarily write incest(y) related topics for my Game of Thrones/ASOIAF stuff but I have been tempted to/curious about branching it out into some of the other fandoms I write for 👀. (I’ve had a few ideas rolling around in my noggin for a bit if anyone is interested.) So I would be willing to give this a try. I’m down to experiment with some new stuff, within reason of course.

I imagine the Reader being older (probably 19-23), maybe even having been a runaway of sorts or not having a very stable home life, so when they’re given the ‘offer’ to become part of the family they’re looking to fulfill a familial void they’ve never experienced or have forgotten how it’s felt like. I definitely see Bruce and the rest of the boys keeping a very close eye on the Reader before they decide to finally bring them into their family, basically full on stalking them from the moment they caught their attention (you know how the Batfam works). It wouldn’t be a surprise if even before the Reader was with them physically that the boys developed a more carnal desire for them. At first, their intentions were completely platonic, but with all the lengthy observing and information gathering of their supposed-to-be-new-family-member eventually something changed in how they all saw their darling.

I really see the change in their obsession starting with either Dick or Tim first. Especially regarding some accidental or purposeful peeping Tom foolery. I feel like Bruce would be the last to fall victim to the change in direction or at the very least he’s the last one to admit to it. If Damian is younger than I see his obsession staying strictly platonic, but if he were much older than I could see him involving himself to the same depths as his family.

At first, I see things happening subtly. Knowing that at the very least a few of them are already in an obsessive-romantic headspace in regards to their darling before they even physically become part of the family the guys would try to be as welcoming as possible without revealing their true intentions. They don’t want to scare you off right away, they want you to walk into it semi-willingly at least. But the interactions with the Reader would show something else. The lingering touches, the being much closer to you than really necessary, the heated grazes over your clothes here and there that leave you wondering if that actually happened or not. I also kind of like the other members not being fully aware of each other’s change in obsession, everyone giving each other the side eye until it sets in and then all out war of who gets the darling to themself unfolds only to eventually end up with them working together and agreeing to share. That’s when Bruce’s heel-turn is revealed.

Once things get truly amped up, the interactions with the Reader really begin to escalate. The boys would walk around shirtless more often, all of them trying to get their darling to look at them, to really look at them. Eventually, it’s not just them being shitless but either them in nothing but their underwear or nothing at all. They start out as accidents but eventually it’s pretty loud and clear that the guys want you to see them, all of them, to even touch them and feel them to your hearts content. But thats not all, of course it’s not. The touching of their darling only gets all the more intense, to the point that you know damn well that they’re touching you and they want to leave you wanting for more. So much more. The Reader’s innocence and lack of experience would only spur them on even more. They absolutely thrive off of it. They all want to be your first, your first everything. There will be a lot of secret ‘lessons’ being given behind closed doors and telling of “Don’t tell Batdaddy or he’ll get real mad.” “Don’t let Jay know, or he’ll want to punish you for not doing this with him.” “Let this be our secret, (Name). Something just for you and me.” “Can’t tell anyone about this or they’ll ruin it for the both of us.” And they only get even worse from there.

I can’t see Alfred being okay with this in any situation, whatsoever. I think he especially would feel like Bruce and the other boys completely took advantage of the Reader and he would try his best to aid them in trying to keep up with the platonic intention of this entire fiasco. He would be a total cockblock, even going as far as helping Damian in his cockblocking endeavors. Alfred’s intention would be to play both sides so he knows how to help the Reader when it comes to Bruce and the others but it wouldn’t take too long for them to figure out that Alfred is working against them. Like, Alfred was all for the familial-platonic obsession but when things started getting more romantic he was ready to shut that shit down ASAP. You can’t tell me he hasn’t, at least a few times, locked Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim out of the house to give the Reader some peace and give Damian his much deserved allotted time with them.

Speaking of Damian, he is a menace (as per usual) but even more so than normal. He really doesn’t take too well to the new direction of his father’s and brothers’ obsession for the Reader. He thinks it’s pretty messed up but he sincerely likes and cares about the Reader and he wants them to stay, he wants them to continue being a part of the family forever so he’ll let some things slide. Some. He even may be willing to look the other way when it eventually comes to Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim baby-trapping the Reader if it means this whole ‘family’ thing becomes set in stone with the arrival of a new ‘sibling’. But for the most part, at least early on, Damian would be a huge pain in the ass for the other family members. He feels like he needs to step in to save his darling from the others and their ulterior motives. He’s all his parental/older sibling figure needs, at least at that point. He may even try to runaway with them to keep them safe from the others. Hell, he may even get his mother involved if he was desperate enough, especially if he saw the Reader as a parental figure. Or maybe even another Justice League member to either adopt him and the Reader so that he could have that family experience he was promised with the Reader. Or he would be completely content just living the rest of his life just him and the Reader, platonically of course.

It would either take Bruce or Dick to have a talk with Damian to get him to come to some agreement to allow them to continue with what they’re doing in regards to the Reader. I think Dick would get away with manipulating Damian much better than Bruce could. I think Damian would have some opinions about his father especially throughout this whole situation. Especially since I see Damian being very observant of how Dick, Jason and Tim are behaving towards the Reader early on and picking up on the fuckery taking place, even going as far as telling Bruce about it under the belief his father would be on his side (not ever fathoming the idea of his father also doing similar things to the Reader without him ever knowing). As far as Damian knew his father was completely platonic towards the Reader, as a ‘father’ should be. Right? So understandably Damian feels not only betrayed but also disgusted when he finds out that his father was and still is taking part in, acting in a similarly depraved fashion as the others.

Eventually, I could see them coming together and being one big ‘happy’ family. But it sure as hell comes at a price. (Usually the Reader’s freedom and sense of self outside of the obsession they’ve been dragged into, to drown in alongside their yandere(s).)

[jscrawls]

Grave mistakes

Gotham City is full of a lot of characters, criminals, creepy clowns, man eating plants, eccentric billionaires. But all that rolled into one household?

Warning: contains mentions of blood, violence, attempted kidnapping, general spooky stuff, it's an Addams reader they're gonna be freaky,

Part 6: cellblock tango

🔹🔹🔹

The very last thing Bruce expected to be woken up early for was this, Alfred shaking him awake just to shove a too bright phone in his face while talking about something and jail, when his sleep heavy eyes finally peeled open and got an eyeful of what was on the phone he sat bolt upright.

“How'd you wind up in here, spooky.” one of the braver inmates sidles up beside you to speak, not getting close enough for the blood to rub off on his denim jacket of course.

“oh I just got into a little back and forth with a rather rude fellow, you know how it goes.”

Your casual response would be funny if you weren't locked in a holding cell with them covered in blood, the other people huddle at the furthest end from you, watching you cheerily converse with the spiky haired punk with alarmed expressions.

“…. Sure, it happens. Just curious….. Who'd you gank? Bet it was ugly if you're…looking like this.” The man keeps his distance even as he speaks, rubbing tattooed knuckles up and down the front of his torn dark colored jeans nervously despite his brave air.

“gank, what a funny word. No I'm in this lovely little place because a man was very unpleasant to this-”

“Mx Addams, you've got a visitor.” your mouth shuts with an audible clack of your teeth in the too-quiet holding cell when you're interrupted by a bored looking officer, the woman unlocks the metal barred door and gestures for you.

“Oh? I was under the impression I was staying here for the foreseeable future. Is it my roomies?” You're a bit disappointed to be pulled away from your new-new friend but alas, you have a visitor! Who cares if that doesn't make sense considering the due process and all that.

“I don't know your relation to him and I don't care, come this way.” the lady pushes her glasses up her nose and pulls out a set of handcuffs as soon as you get close, well it's clearly not your roommates if it's a him, maybe it's one of your delightful acquaintances.

You don't hear the multiple sighs of relief from in the cell as you're pulled down the hall.

The woman practically pushes you into a small room and shuts the door between you two, the walls are plain white and the flooring is just plain brown paneling, and it's rather cramped with the large table and three chairs taking up most of the space. Before you can start entertaining yourself the door opens behind you, your best friend Alfred is here!

“Oh hello my friend! I didn't realize you were in this jail too! Don't tell me you've finally snapped and sank into your darkest impulses, you sly thing you should tell me these things.”

“can you not right now.” Bruce huffs as he shuffles in behind Alfred and shuts the door, both men grimace at the sight of the dried blood caked on your body.

“Oh you're here too.” You say calmly while waving at Bruce with your still cuffed hands.

Bruce looks at you questioningly at the different treatment. “You don't sound surprised.”

“I knew you'd succumb to the darkness within your heart as soon as I'd met you.” you just shrug while stepping back to make room for the two men in the small space. They share a silent look and both move around you to sit at the table, at their expectant glances you quickly join them.

Alfred clears his throat loudly while resting his hands on the table. “…. So, care to share how you wound up in….. This predicament you've found yourself in?”

“What predicament.” Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose tightly when you say that, the man looks about ready to smack his head on the table. “You violently stabbed someone in the middle of a street.”

“Oh, that. That was just a little Tom foolery that got exciting. You should try it sometime my friends!”

“…just tell us what happened.”

“Fine, it all started when I took my roomies out on the town-” Alfred interrupts you quickly. “Who are your ‘roomies’?”

“My friends! I've named them cousin Looney and cousin venom, I don't think they want to be called Addams yet but we'll see how that goes. Now onto the tale-!”

🔹🔹🔹

“Hurry up the freakin markets gonna close!”

Harley loops her arm through Pamela's and yours and yanks you both down the sidewalk at a slightly too fast pace, the black fur coat she'd borrowed from you nearly falling off her shoulders when Pamela pulls her out of the way of a crosswalk pole.

“Calm your tits harl, watching you bounce around is giving me a migraine.” Pamela casually brushes her hand against a wilting tree in a sidewalk cage as you walk by it and makes it perk up and grow a few feet taller.

You glance over at the both of them with a big smile on your face. “I happen to enjoy migraines.”

Harley snorts at that while Pamela scowls at you and rolls her eyes. “Oh of course you do, you've got regular money right? You're not embarrassing me with that coin crap tonight.” Her voice is gruff, yet she still pulls you by pulling on Harley out of the way of a car getting too close to the edge of the sidewalk.

“Of course I do! You know I know this horrible little stand that sells vegetables we should go there first before-”

A scream further down the street cuts you off, looking around in confusion the three of you watch as the crowds all move in the opposite direction, clearly Gothamites know when to clear out.

“Sounds like someone's having a little problem.” Pamela pulls out a piece of gum and then hits the crosswalk sign with her elbow.

“We should go look!” “We should go watch the peril!” You and Harley nearly speak over each other, you say a quick apology while Pamela frowns at the both of you.

“Weren't you just complaining about time? We should go while the market crowds are clearing out, less foot traffic right now.”

Harley whips around to look at Pamela, jostling you a bunch since her arms still looped through yours. “babycakes.”

Pamela looks at her with narrowed eyes while starting to tug her across the street, popping her gum loudly. “Don't ‘babycakes’ me, I'm being the responsible once since you both can't do anything right.”

Another scream echoes down the dark street, this time much louder and more shrill. You and Harley share a conspiring look and you take the lead to start tugging your little monkey chain down the middle of the street while Harley holds onto Pamela tightly.

“Come on my demented dames! Just a little peek then we'll be on our way!” Your voice just makes Pamela's face screw up and she huffs loudly, Harley grins widely, accidentally smearing black lipstick on her teeth, not that she notices of course. “Yeah come on ives! We've been missin out on mischief for a while anywho.”

Pamela grunts angrily, yet allows you two to drag her down the dark and empty streets, no longer resisting but she's also not exactly enthusiastic about it either. “When we go home empty-handed I don't wanna hear one single peep of complaint.”

“Help! Someone help me!” The three of you pause in your tracks when a child runs down the street yelling, when they spot you they freeze in place for a second before quickly Glancing over their shoulder and then running over you your little group. Latching onto Harleys borrowed coat tightly.

“Woah there shortie! Watch the grubby paws!” Harley looks down at the kid in alarm, she pulls her arms away from yours and Pamela's to grab the kids shoulders.

“Ugh, kids. Let's go before they start crying on one of us.” Pamela tugs on one of Harleys pigtails, she glances over at you expecting to see your awkward ass backing off, but she's surprised when you squat down next to the kid to address them.

“Hello random screaming child!” you smile widely at the kid while they take a hesitant step back, they quickly look over their shoulder once again before turning and starting to speak quickly.

“you…. You people gotta help me! There's a weird man after me!”

“A weird man?” Harley joins you in squatting down to talk to the kid, Pamela scowls and crosses her arms. “We don't have time for this.”

Harley quickly turns her head to pout up at her. “Red that's cruel, sounds like the shorties in some kinda trouble!”

You look back at the kid and smile at them again. “Ignore them, I happen to love trouble! Why don't you tell me what's going on?”

The kid scuffs their shoe on the street nervously, but before they could reply a new figure runs up to the group.

“Finally, there you are!” When the person, a guy with baggy clothes and shaggy brown hair runs up to you, the kid shoves behind you and clings to your clothing tightly. “That's the weird man!”

“I'm not a weirdo! Sorry about my niece, she likes throwing tantrums and running out of the house. Sorry for the inconvenience…” the guy steps closer while gesturing at the kid with one hand, the other hand shoved in his baggy sweatshirt pocket.

“He's lying! I don't know him at all! He said he knew my mom and grabbed me, and when I tried to pull away he hit me!” The kid points to their face while Harley leans down to look at the mark, Pamela's eyes narrow at the man while you stand up.

“You're a kid smacker eh?” Harley looks at the man with a frown while stepping in front of the kid to block them from view, the man looks nervously between the three of you before backing up a few steps.

“You're taking their word over an adults? Come on…I just need to get them home to my sister since it's so late….”

“You're not my uncle!”

Pamela sighs and glares at the man tiredly.

“You, tell me this kids name right now if you're related to them.” She then leans down to the kid, her voice low. “Whisper your name to me squirt.”

The kid hurriedly leans over and cups their hands around their mouth while you and Harley watch, Harley keeps glancing at the guy with an angry expression on her face.

The guy starts backing away more, the fact that he isn't answering says enough.

“I….. She could just tell you a random name anyways…. She's just being a brat, I swear!….”

“Like anyone's buying that!” Harley starts to stomp over to the guy while you and Pamela quickly follow her, the man suddenly pulls his hand out of his pocket and brandishes a hunting knife at the three of you.

“Back off freaks! I'll gut all of you!”

Pamela just looks at the man with disgust while raising a hand and gesturing at one of the nearby shrubs, Harley pulls a regular hammer out of her pocket and squares up, and you?

“I have one of those too!” You excitedly pull your own dagger out of one of your long sleeves, how was it up there? Who knows!

🔹🔹🔹

“Hang on a second, hang on.”

Bruce interrupts you rather rudely, both men are leaning into the table with there elbows rested in it, wearing matching disturbed expressions after you've mostly recounted last night's events.

“You're saying you beat up and stabbed a man who was kidnapping a child?”

You nod quickly, casually picking at the dried blood flakes under your nails while staring at the two men. “That's right, normally I'm all about a little consensual stabbing between friends but this man wasn't my friend.”

Alfred just shakes his head and tilts his head up to look at the ceiling exasperatedly, the older man grumbling curses under his breath. Bruce just crosses his arms with an unreadable expression on his face as he studies you.

“…I don't even-you're already trending in Twitter for this, and you're not even being sentenced yet…”

You give both men a confused look. “I'm on Twitter?”

“Mhmm, look at this…” asked pulls his phone out and shows you a screenshot, it looks like a still of a video taken from someone's window of the incident, the title reads ‘angry gays and a Goth attack PDF file in the road, #onlyingotham’

You stare at The phone for a long moment but looking back at them and shrugging your shoulders, gesturing with your still-cuffed hands at yourself.

“Nothing to be done about that, yeah? Looks like I'm stuck in this lovely little place for the foreseeable future, I just hope cousin Looney and cousin venom remember to check the mail and feed the swamp creatures for me.”

Just then the door to the interrogation room opens, the same bored looking woman from before sticks her head in to address you.

“Addams, you're out on bail.”

“What!?” The three people sitting say at the same time, Bruce and Alfred sound surprised and you sound upset.

“How on earth did that happen so fast?”

“The kid you saved’s mother set up a GoFundMe for you and then some old hag came and paid off the majority.” the woman shrugs and walks over to you and starts to undo your cuffs, you can't even be too disappointed at your newfound freedom because there's only one old hag that it could be.

“Oh! Grandmamas here!”

🔹🔹🔹

M.list | prev | next

A/n: this was heavily inspired by this one harlivy comic panel I saw floating around years ago, reader gets into some legal trouble! 😵‍💫

Taglist: @lunarapple @ladykamos @itsberrydreemurstuff @redkarmakai

[smallestapplin]

A sweet treat

Saw @/tom-foolery-incorporated’s swerve post here, and this wouldn’t leave my head (also check him out! They’re so cool, and writing is so great im feral for it.)

Anyway, Pussy-whipped Swerve and his human lover.

Minors do not interact!

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You can’t breathe, your body can only quake sat on top of your lover’s face. Swerve’s large servos on your hips holding you in place, refusing to let you get off him. His face plate is covered in your juices fr the countless orgasms he’s pulled frm you, but it’s still not enough for him, it’s never enough.

“S-swerve….fuck, fuck it’s too much..!” Your hands on his helm, unsure if you want to grind against his glossa or pull away.

His blue visor glows in the low light of his habsuite, seemingly never taking his optics off you. You fall forward, barely catching yourself as his dermas suck on your clit, before his glossa is lapping at the new gush of slick. Your thighs tremble, feeling his moan against your sensitive cunt.

His spike is so hard, having overloaded a handful of times himself, he can’t help it, you taste so so good! He could live between your thighs and be one happy bot. His own hips buck up, humping the air, desperate for any form of relief but refusing to move from his spot.

“C’mon sweetspark, just one more, just need a lil more, yeah? Primus, I love you, love this pretty valve of yours.” Swerve mutters, kissing your pussy wetly.

How many times had it just been ‘one more’? It feels like hours he’s been devouring your wet heat, licking up every last drop of your cum as if it’s the best meal he’s ever had. Your eyes widen, slowly fluttering back as Swerve pushes his glossa into your clenching hole, his nose digging into your clit as he tries to push his helm further between your thighs.

It’s too much, it’s too hot! You’re sweating and drool, your vision going white once more with a loud squeal of his name. Your legs shaking, desperately trying to close around his helm. His glossa is so thick, filling you out nicely, but not nearly as much as his spike would.

“Swerve…..please, just fuck me already.”

Your whine makes his tremble, spike throbbing and leaking more transfluid. Oh he wants to, he wants to fuck you so badly, fill your pussy with his transfluid over and over and over again, frag both of you stupid until he’s all you can think about and vice versa.

To have your small squishy body under him, legs folded near your head making your take his spike down to the hilt, it’s all he wants!

But your valve is right above him, letting him see up close what his touches and needy licks have been doing to you, and he gets to taste you! What more could he want.

He’s torn, but how could he pick when you’re right there?

“Just…just one more, I promise just overload on my intake one more time and I’ll frag you good, okay?”

It’s always just one more.

But how can you deny him when he looks so smitten? He loves your pussy so much, how could you take it away from him?

[tom-foolery-incorporated]

https://www.tumblr.com/tom-foolery-incorporated/784466787659137024/real-nasty-swerve-x-reader-blurb?source=share

I kinda miss lost light various x reader.

Sooooo i can imagine the others found out Swerve Lilley dirty secret, they'll keep quiet in exchange they also ' give ' their own drink for Mc to drink, if ya know what i mean.

.............

😏😏😉😉

Some quick thoughts before I go catch a ride at sleepy time junction

Rodimus is the first to find out. He walks in on Swerve cranking it over your cup. Swerve screams and falls on his aft spewing transfluid everywhere like a fountain and Rodimus flinches covering his optics trying not to yell at Swerve for jerking off in the backrooms like that.

Then it hits him.

That drink smelt so familiar and looked so much like transfluid to him because it fucking was. Those joking remarks he’d made to Drift about your drink were fucking true!! Now here he had Swerve red handed and in the best position to blackmail him.

“I want in.”

Swerve nearly loses his shit and sparks a flame in his processor at what his captain just said. He expected yelling and grossed out noises from Rodimus but the larger bot just shut the door behind him with a wicked look on his face.

“I won’t give out your dirty secret if i get in on this,” Rodimus said pointing at your cup.

The next time you had your signature drink Rodimus was right there to clink his glass to yours. He watched expectantly as you unknowingly sipped on his transfluid.

“Tastes different,” you mentioned while smacking your lips. “It’s kind of smoky and spicy?”

“Yeah!” Swerve butted in to try to cover up the difference in taste. “I wanted to experiment more with some, uhh, whiskey!”

“It tastes good,” you nodded taking another sip.

Rodimus just about frees his spike then and there. What really got his engines revving was seeing his transfluid make a mustache just above your lips then seeing you lick it off.

Trailbreaker was next since he overheard Rodimus and Swerve bickering about it. Now he wants in on this and soon enough practically the whole ship is jerking their spikes over your cup just to see you taste their transfluid.

“It kind of has a sting to it,” you mentioned. “It’s very strong.”

Megatron always gives you so much that Swerve already has a second cup made once you’re finished with your first. He’s sitting in the back of the bar drinking his own drink trying not to cum behind his modesty plate at the sight.

“Did you put yogurt or something in this one? It’s pretty thick,” you mentioned. You had to hollow out your cheeks suck this mixture through a straw.

[lulunothulu]

“A Bullseye to the Heart” Ch. 10

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Latina Reader

Summary: after Bradley and Nat in vote themselves over and you tell Nat you and Jake almost kissed, Natasha had the great plan of playing spin the bottle. What could possibly go wrong? Other than feelings being caught? 👀

Content: drinking, some swearing, definitely some tom-foolery, mild smut (touching), fingering, fluff

Word Count: who even knows 😂

A/N: just like the last chapter, you don’t have to read the whole “A Bullseye to the Heart” series. This can be read alone! (However I would read the last one bc it adds more to this one) ENJOY!!! 💗🤠

Chapter 10

“I cannot believe you did this,” you whisper to Natasha.

“You thank me later after you and Bagman are getting hot and heavy,” she whispers back, causing you to slap her arm. Natasha chuckles before clearing her throat for Bradley and Jake to listen. “The rules are, you spin the beer bottle, whoever you land on has to choose either kissing you, seven minutes on heaven, or passing. But you only get two passes!”

Jake and Bradley nod.

“So if you land on Jake three times, and you’ve already skipped him twice, you have to kiss him or seven minutes in heaven,” you tell Bradley.

Bradley smiles, taking a swig of his beer and winking at Jake. “Oh, I plan on planting one on him.”

“Gross,” Natasha laughs. “Okay, let’s get started.”

After an intense game of rock, paper, scissors, Bradley gets to be the first one to spin the bottle. Fortunately for Jake, it lands on Natasha who sits across from him.

“What’re you choosing, Nat?” Jake asks, eyes on you.

“Imma choose kiss,” she responds, getting up from her sitting position on the floor and crawling to Bradley who welcomes her with open arms.

With one swift peck on the lips, Natasha laughs. “That tickled. Okay my turn!”

She spins, landing on you.

“Oh miss Y/N,” she sing-songs. “What’re you choosing?”

You smile at her and wink. “I think I’ll kiss you, my love.”

“It’s not like you haven’t before,” she smiles.

“Wait what?” Jake asks.

You move to your left and plant a firm kiss on Natasha’s lips, smiling when she squeezes your left boob.

“Ah just like old times,” she says when you pull away.

“Old times?!” Jake practically squeaks.

“Hush, it’s Y/N’s turn,” Nat says.

To your right, Bradley tells Jake the short but hilarious story of the time you and Natasha got so drunk, you made out. Jake’s eyes widen and he blushes, adjusting himself in his shorts.

You take the time to spin the bottle, watching as it spins for a few seconds before landing between Jake and Bradley.

“Ooo, spinners choice!” Natasha slurs. “Who’s it gonna be, Bullseye?”

You take a swig of your beer, looking between Jake and Bradley.

As much as it would be funny to see Jake get jealous that you’re kissing Bradley, you’d rather not kiss the man who was like a brother to you.

“Jake,” you declare. Jake’s eyes sparkle in delight as you crawl your way to him and ask, “What’re you choosing, Bagman?”

“Kiss,” he says simply before grabbing your face and pressing his lips to yours.

They’re soft, and expertly moving along with yours as you deepen the kiss by pressing yourself into him more.

Around you, Bradley and Natasha whoop and holler, causing you to pull away. You crawl backwards back to your spot on the floor and smile when Jake’s eyes linger on you.

“Alright, Jakey Poo,” Bradley nudges. “Your up.”

———

Three rounds later, two used passes from both you and Jake in order to not kiss Bradley, and one kiss between Bradley and Jake, it’s finally your turn to choose what you want to do with Jake when the bottle finally lands on you again.

“Seven minutes,” you say, a smile forming on your lips .

“We’ll be here.” Natasha winks at you before pulling Bradley’s arm and asking Jake , “Can Bradley borrow some swim trucks? We wanna go for a swim.”

“It’s only seven minutes,” Bradley interjects. Natasha gives him a death glare before he connect the dots and smiles.

“Sure, in the top drawer,” Jake points in his room, eyes solely on you.

You lead Jake into your room, watching as he closes the door behind him and sets a timer on his phone.

“So, Bullseye,” Jake starts, looking up from the phone with a smile before setting it on your drawer.

However, he never gets to finish what he was going to say because your lips are on his, arms wrapped around his neck.

You surprised yourself—Jake too, at that.

You’d fully expected to be shy and wait for him to kiss you, but the moment his eyes landed on yours you felt the warmth and determination fill your veins.

Jake was surprised but he loved that you were being bold. Must’ve been the liquid courage.

He pulls away, blue-green eyes bright and smile wide.

“How long have you been waiting to do that?”

“Since our first kiss,” you breathe.

Jake smiles, bringing your lips to his and body close again.

You couldn’t believe you were in his arms, kissing him, touching him. You snaked am arm to Jake’s chest, feeling his heart beat steady against your palm. You could feel his hard abs on your own, his dick hardening against your hips. Almost as if on cue, you could feel your core moisten—you were ready for him if he wanted you. You moan in to his mouth when his hands slide down your back and land on your ass, his light squeeze sending you straight to the edge but not quite over.

“Jake,” you mutter into his lips.

“Yes?” He responds, pulling away slightly and eyes searching your opened ones.

“Can you touch me?”

Jake breathes a sigh of relief. “I thought you were gonna tell me to stop.”

You laugh, about to say something else when he pulls you into another deep kiss.

This time, however, his hands wander your body. They leave your ass momentarily, trailing up the curves of your waist in a slow and passionate way—like he wanted to take his time with you.

And he did.

Jake wanted to touch every inch of your body—explore it, relish in it—before he even got to taste it. He trailed his hand up to your neck again, pulling you back a bit before walking you to the edge of the bed. “Sit for me.”

You obey, loving the way his eyes darken in lust. Your eyes follow as he squats before you, large hands landing on your thighs and sliding up and down. The motion alone sent chills down your spine.

“Did you purposely wear that shirt?” He asks, looking down at the Texas Longhorns shirt you definitely forgot you were wearing.

You nod, a smile forming on your lips.

“I let you borrow that months ago,” he says, voice gravely and deep. “I love seeing you in my shirt.”

“Yeah?” You ask. The alcohol pushes you to add, “I love seeing the way you react when I wear your shirt.”

“And how is that, Sweetheart?”

Jake’s eyes are practically oozing with need and you know it. The look sends another shiver down your spine, your nipples peaking below the orange cotton fabric. You move your hands over them, suddenly realizing he can probably see them.

He does, his eyes dart from your hands—now trying to hide your nipples—and back up to your eyes.

“Move your hands,” he orders.

You listen, placing them on the bed by your hips.

Jake’s hands wander up your thighs and hips, then linger on the fabric to the base of the shirt. He twitters with it, tugging it lightly and watching how your nipples poke out even more as he pulls the fabric.

“Can I undress you?” He asks.

“Yes,” you breathe, your voice hoarse.

———

Instantly, Jake is tugging his shirt off your body, delight filling his chest and sparking down to the tip of his dick. You’ve just said the magic words and was more than ready to act.

As soon as the t-shirt is over your head and in his fingers, he tosses to the side. His eyes drop to your breasts, full and heavy—perfect. Your nipples are pebbled and perked, just waiting for his mouth to wrap around them.

He stops himself, though. Letting his hands fall back onto your hips and slowly slide up the soft skin of your waist, finally—painfully—landing on the soft mounds of your breasts.

He hears you suck in a breath, smiling when he flicks his gaze to your eyes. Something like wonder flashes behind them and he moves his fingers to your nipples, squeezing them lightly. When you moan, he softly twiddles them between his index finger and thumb, sending another wave of moans straight to his ears.

He was already hard, his dick pressing into the silky material of the athletic shorts he’s wearing. Your moans were enough to make him cum, but he willd himself to wait. He needed to be touched by you or inside you if he was going to release.

Jake goes back to cupping your left breast, watching as you give him a confused look before bringing his lips to the soft skin around your nipple.

He kisses you at first, testing the suctioning to see what you’d do and each time, a soft moan leaves your parted lips. He moves to that peaked nipple, flicking his tongue on the surface at first. When you shudder, he wraps his mouth completely around it, lightly sucking.

“Jesus, Jake,” you lightly moan. He pulls away, doing the same to the other nipple and chuckling when you mutter, “Fuck me.”

He pulls away, leaving your once warmed nipples cold and begging to be touched again. He pulls his shirt off, grabbing the back of the shirt and pulling it forward, before tossing it along with yours.

“I figured it would be fair if I evened the playing field,” he shrugs when you raise a brow. Your laughter fills his ears and sending a warm tang down to his stomach.

Before long, he’s pressing his lips to yours again, laying you gently onto the bed, and lying between your legs. Your bare chest presses against his, warm and soft.

You curl your legs around his torso, pressing his hips into your own and groaning into his mouth when you feel his hardness against you.

Jake feels you take your nails down his back and imagines the scratches you must be forming back there. He wanted everyone who saw him undressed to know you were his.

You didn’t know it yet, but you were.

Kissing down your cheek and neck, Jake makes his way down, softly pecking your collarbone and breasts. When he reaches your stomach you let out a giggle, making him look up from where he’s hovering.

“Are you ticklish?” He asks with a smile.

“No shit,” you giggle.

Your sass makes him smile, nuzzling his nose into the side of your stomach, making you erupt in a snorting laughter.

“I’ll have to come back to that another time,” he says, pressing a kiss to your hip. “I love the sound of your laugh.”

Jake works his way to your shorts, playing with the elastic before looking to you for approval. When you nod, he slowly pulls the silky material down your hips and thighs. When he looks at you again, he finds a lacy black thong waiting for him and leaving not much to the imagination.

Jake was floored. Not only were you gorgeous, but your pussy was as well—from what he could see. He kisses over the spot where your scar is, lingering a little longer than he had with the rest of your body.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N,” he whispers into your skin.

He kisses down your hips to the pelvic area over your clit.

“Everything about you is just how I imagined it,” he continues.

“You’ve imagined it?” You ask, propping yourself in your elbows.

Jake looks up from between you legs, a small nod and a sheepish grin forming. “I’ve been waiting to touch you for three months.”

You only smile, bringing yourself closer to to his face and kissing him softly.

“So touch me then.”

———

You watch as Jake’s eyes gleam in excitement as he lowers himself back to your core, kissing over the flimsy fabric of your thong.

Each kiss sends a ripple through your core and up your spine, your pussy getting wetter by the second.

Jake notices and grins up at you. “You’re so wet I can taste you through the lacy fabric.”

You open your mouth to respond but he stops you by slowly licking over the material, warm and gentle. You suck in a breath, arching your back a bit before your eyes land on his.

His are full of amusement.

He likes this.

“Can I remove these?” He asks you, fingering the waistband of your thong.

“Please do,” you grin.

Without a word, Jake grabs the flimsy waistband and starts to pull it down. You raise your legs to help him pass your ass and he sucks in a breath. At that moment, your pussy—in all its glory—was right in his face.

He fully removes the underwear and tosses it behind him blindly, eyes only on your gleaming folds. Gently, he brings his fingers to your entrance, feeling the warmth and wetness before bring his fingers to his mouth and sucking the taste of you off.

“You taste delicious,” he tells you.

“Thank yo—”

You don’t get to finish because his face is buried in your cunt. Kissing and sucking at first but then lapping and flicking with his tongue. He starts front he bottom of your entrance all the way up to your clit before sucking lightly.

“Oh my god,” you moan.

“You like when I lick your pretty pussy?” He asks.

You nod, unable to speak because he’s lowered his head back onto you, licking and sucking for dear life.

Pleasure rings all over your body, your legs starting to buckle and shake around Jake’s head. You feel his hand roam to your entrance and sigh a moan when a finger enters you.

Jake pumps his finger in and out of you in a rhythmic manner, your walls clenching around him. You feel his pace quicken as he sucks and licks your clit, sending you back to edge you were so close to reaching before.

“I’m so close!” You tell him, bucking your hips to match with his pulsing. “Don’t stop, Jake!”

He pulls his mouth away from you before sneaking a second finger inside you.

“Say what you want, baby,” he instructs. “Call my name.”

He returns to his spot, mouth licking and sucking your clit, fingers deep and pulsing in your clenched cunt.

“Fuck!” You moan, eyes squeezing shut and then opening. You take your fingers into Jake’s hair, pulling slightly and bucking your hips harder into his face. “Please make me cum, Jake!”

Jake hums into you, sending a wave of vibration to your clit and sealing the last deal you needed to finally cum.

Electricity flares through you, stars and planets align, and you swear you heard an angel sing. Your orgasm ripples through you, Jake lapping up every single drop of it. He only stops when you’re a shaking mess under him.

You pull him up by pulling his face to yours and kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue.

He was right, you were delicious.

You push him back before smiling and saying, “Your turn.”

But when he’s about to speak, his timer goes off.

“Turn it off,” you whine at him.

Jake chuckles before standing from the bed and walking to his phone. He turns the alarm off before walking back to the bed and kissing you.

“Let’s go check on Nat and Bradshaw,” he tells you. Then, with a wink and devastatingly cocky smirk, “You can pay me back later.”

NEXT CHAPTER

[fauxfaith]

Is jake here?

Shakespeare says "tis was written in the stars before they even met"

-You're lost in life and move to Seoul where you find your peace in a boy. Jake's in a band and is looking for a girl he's been obsessed with ever since she appeared in his dream. You're both broken but maybe you can learn to be better through each other.

Pairing: Sim Jaeyun x reader

Genre: scott pilgrim au!, band au!, set in 2000s, he's kinda silly.

Cast: Sunghoon, jay, sumin (stayc)

Warning: reader smokes once :(

Word Count: 2k

Notes: this is for neo127's event! this was genuinely so fun to write, thank you for the fun event! this is actually a deleted scene that I love sm, i wanted to be so poetic but i had to stop my demons cause this is a movie with tom foolery and deep meaning. also i'm kind of stupid and saved this in drafts and not queue.

masterlist

Take 1

There was a ringing in Jake’s mind that alerted him of the dangers awaiting him, but the allure of your presence removed all prior warnings. You came into his life like a dream, filled the hollow void in his soul. None of his past attempts at experiencing euphoria or reaching infinity worked, but with you around entertaining his unfunny jokes, he was consumed by the black hole in one clean swoop.

In other terms, you were the little riff he needed in the song, the extra healing ability granted to his game characters, you were a dream. The warning, the future and the rest was history. It was only you and him in the whole universe. By your side, Jake finally felt like the world wasn’t against him.

Or so he thought.

Seven little exes, not seven little kisses.

Take 2

Jake forced his body to move. “Left right, left right”, he mumbled and mechanically trudged up the stairs, bumping into drunk partygoers without an apology. He caught a glimpse of you the other day and he prayed the next time you saw him he’d be taller and looked way cooler, not desperate or down bad at all. Hopefully, he’d find the courage to approach you in privacy. It had been ages of simply dreaming about you.

Not even the buzz of the party could get your eyes and nonchalant expression out of Jake’s mind. The thirst to reunite left him dry to the bone and in dire need of the washroom due to pure boredom sparked by the party. His drink sploshed in the red up, spilt over the rim and onto the cuff of his new jacket. He winced at the sticky and cold sensation.

At this point, he was willing to manifest you into appearing.

Jake reached the landing and felt Comeau call out to him. “Wanna drink with us?”

He shook his head and slightly pouted. “No, I don’t drink”.

Comeau frowned at him, “What do you mean you don’t drink?”

Jake offered a non-committed shrug and lightly waved his arm around.

“This is just iced coffee”.

His friend’s frown deepened. “What does that mean? I distinctively remember you being drunk-”

“Hey you know everyone, right?”, Jake swiftly brushed off the memory and swayed Comeau by the compliment. “You know this one girl with hair like this?”

His pout was replaced with a determined look and pulled out crumpled paper with a poorly sketched one-lined drawing of what appeared to be a face with no evident features or expressions. There was no possible way to understand the scribble immediately.

His friend rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know her. That’s Y/N-“

God was real. The universe loved him and perhaps this was good karma for all the okay things he had done in life. His friend continued to ramble trivia about you but it all flew over Jake’s head until he heard I heard she was going to be here tonight and it brought heat back into his veins. All it took were those mere words to become the catalyst of his insanity.

Jake dove into the crowd, and took in the sight of numerous strangers with unfamiliar hairstyles and smiles. He searched for your dyed hair in the crowd and despite unsteady breathing and shaking hands due to anticipation and nervousness, his gaze met your frame leaning on a wall. Hair pink instead of blue and you were alone holding a cup which served as a friend. You appeared bored out of your mind, glancing at the drunk bodies dancing around in bliss. Jake wondered asking you if you wanted a refill.

He slid on the dirty wallpapered wall and inch close to you. As he felt heat radiate off your body, he took it as a sign to halt. Though he tried to be subtle, his desperation to talk to you poured down his body in a giant tidal wave. Jake turned his honey eyes to your figure, it was party concealed under his locks that covered an eye. You stared right at him.

“Do you like pac man?”, the words stumbled out of his lips before he realised.

What? No-no, that’s not-

You gave him a slight nod then shifted your attention back to the crowd. Uncommitted but it did not discourage him.

He shuffled closer to you; the creases of his oversized jacket bumped into the bag strap on your shoulder. You didn't move away.

Jake cheered internally; this was going well.

Jake took it as a sign to continue. He puffed his chest out. “You know the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man. Not because he looks like a hockey puck. But it's Paku Paku. Means flap your mouth."

He planned on offering you a detailed history of the game, a topic that the pair of you apparently shared and enjoyed. That was before you placed your full untouched cup on a table and turned to him.

He hadn't realised you moved to look up at him.

"But they thought people would scratch out the "p" and turn it into an "f" like-"

Jake's voice died in his throat and his eyes blinked at the intensity of your gaze. You stared up at him with calm wisdom, hiding all the secrets in the world in your gaze.

He observed how there was a thin sheen of sweat on your hairline despite the cold season of decay. With so many bodies running, dancing and chatting away, the house was bound to get humid.

Jake could barely hear your voice over the thump thump of his heartbeat. The tips of your hair that clung onto the apples of your cheek moved when you spoke.

You took a step closer to him and whatever confidence he had evaporated. Jake fumbled with the end of his jacket and then promptly shoved his hands inside his pockets.

You did not look displeased at the sight, in fact, nothing changed in your eyes but Jake swore he saw a hint of a small smile. However, his fear and nerves got the best of him.

"I'm going to leave you alone forever now-"

"Wanna get out of here?"

Take 3

The sky was dark again. The winter nights crept up quickly, shunning the sun away but Jake liked it.

He liked how the night sky reminded him of you, the simple serene moments spent either in silence or secrecy.

You brought light into his life. It was dark elsewhere.

He saw a shadow of a figure dressed in several jackets a couple of feet away and only when he walked closer did he realise who it was.

"What are you doing here?", he called out to you, referring to the time.

You quirked up an unamused brow.

"Dude, I was waiting for you."

Immediately Jake felt apologetic. And maybe a bit pathetic that he came late (on time) to the hangout (unofficial official date). Or maybe he felt giddy knowing you didn't show your nervous attitude yet cared deeply enough for him to arrive on time.

"I'm sorry. I thought you assumed you were too cool to arrive on time", he confessed. It was easier with you.

He didn't have to lie about where he went like how he did whenever Sunghoon asked him about his whereabouts or skirt around in conversations where Sumin decided to target him (all for reasons that proved he deserved it).

He didn't need to pretend he was someone better, a moralistic ideal version of himself or someone worse, an edgy rockstar who had a strange code of rules to live by.

With you, Jake could be transparent. All his unpolished edges, raw mistakes and life missteps were seen and never judged.

You were like him and he was like you.

Maybe there was a reason he saw you in his dreams long before. Maybe the two of you were interconnected in a cosmic way. He didn't know.

You looked at him up and down before turning and beginning to walk near the middle of the park.

"Well, you were wrong".

Jake quickly walked beside you and fell into the same rhythm. "Do you wanna get a bite? Or watch a movie? We could get pizza before watching something. We could flip through the records I have at home".

You gently shook your head and Jake couldn't help but pout at your dismissal.

"What's wrong?" He asked, too impatient.

You sighed softly; air comes out in puffs of smoke.

You point at nearby empty swings. The chain was rustic and seems strong enough to carry two adults.

"Follow me", you whispered in the late night. There was no one around. The park was deserted, filled with snow to the brim. The swing seats squeaked when you brushed off the sleeping snow from them.

Jake sniffled, shoved his hands in his pockets once more. He didn't mind the silence until it stretched on for more than a minute, maybe...maybe it was less but Jake hated silence.

"This is nice", he shuffled and lightly kicked his feet off the ground. The metal shrieked and he swayed back and forth.

You nodded and mimicked his actions.

"This is nice".

Jake turned to look at you once more. He noticed how often he'd stare at you only to look away when you caught his gaze. There was something that had been on his mind for days. He tip toed towards the topic.

"So, why'd you come to Seoul?"

Immediately you look down at your shoes, then swing yourself higher than before.

"I wanted a change of scenery. Needed a reset and got a job here so I thought, why not?"

It was an honest reply.

The sound of gravel grabbed his attention, the metal squeaked again and you paused the pendulum to fish out an item from your pocket.

He had to squint in the minimal lighting and Jake had to hold in his surprise as you pulled out a cigarette and lit it easily.

A hand covered your lips and the tip of the cigarette, the small flame decorated the end of your nose and chin in a scarlet hue. Jake stared at you in awe, doe eyes widened.

"You smoke?", he couldn't help it. You did wonders at surprising him each time you met.

You inhaled it slowly and turned from Jake's direction to blow the air. Two fingers toyed with the cigarette.

"On special occasions". Your lips stretched a bit and Jake saw how the gloss shone under the moonlight. God, he was doomed from the start.

He didn't mind the bounce in his voice, he tiled his position and brought his swing next to yours until the metal chains halted him. The scent of slight smoke and your citrus perfume filled his senses.

It felt like he was on stage once more, guitar in his hands, flicking away at the strings with inhuman speed. He felt the high he experienced on stage; the surge of emotions that made him giddy. He tapped his foot unconsciously, imitating the vibrations the band would feel when Sumin hit her drums.

"Is this a special occasion?"

Your eyes hadn't stranded him and his lovesick expression finally pulled a laugh out of you. You were satisfied when you moved to Seoul, but the buds in your stomach began to blossom, Jake made you crave for more than satisfactory.

"I don't know. You tell me", you teased him and Jake's smile got wider. His eyes crinkled adorably and you could see the gums of his teeth with how wide he was smiling.

Then, for a split second, something flashed in his eyes, something serious. It paused your arm mid-way from bringing the cigarette to your lips.

Jake averted his gaze, his dark brown bangs covered his face from view, and you could only see the tip of his tall nose and his red ears. Perhaps from the cold, perhaps from you.

He took a deep breath.

"When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time."

When he finished, Jake turned to you and the poor swing squeaked once more. His face was determined, shoulders no longer hunched like usual but his eyes wavered, swam across your form to see a hint of disgust or discomfort from you.

You laughed in his face.

"Hey!", Jake shouted and it echoed in the night.

Loud laughter bubbled from your lips, you tried to hide your mouth behind your free hand but Jake quickly grabbed it so he could defend himself. Seeing how delighted you were, your entire body buzzing with giggles, Jake felt himself relax and giggle with you. Though he didn't let go of your arm.

He saw the fallen cigarette on the ground, you probably forgot about it when you began to chuckle. He leaned forward and stepped on it.

When he landed his attention on you, you were more composed but the shaking did not stop. It was a futile attempt at covering your glee, Jake was obsessed, he was probably feeling the L-word (love) as well but he wasn't sure.

Though he understood from all the times he couldn't concentrate in practice and Sunghoon or Jay would have to call his name loudly to pull him out of daydreams of you and back to reality, when Sumin stopped questioning his intentions with you and replaced her usual indifferent glares with mild fascination, Jake knew he felt something more than like for you. He felt like he was hypnotised by your melody, your casual demeanour, overflowing confidence and assured attitude. It sucked him in from the night he dreamt of you.

Jake's hand slithered down from the curve of your elbow and slipped into the warmth of your hand. Your laughter had finally ceased, now replaced with a tender look. Jake smiled like he had never done before. You interlocked your fingers together and squeezed him palm.

It would be okay, the future would be more than okay-probably. He'd still have to go to practice, get yelled at by his sister and then get yelled at other bands when Sunghoon irked them on purpose. Maybe he'd have to eventually confront your seven exes. Nothing about you was simple, everything was too intricate, it was like he had entered a game and had to win all rounds before getting crowned "official boyfriend".

But it was more than okay because Jake knew you were worth it-you liked him and he liked you. There were no mind games, this was the simplest love he had experienced. He couldn’t stop thinking of you and you couldn’t stop ringing his landline. By your side, Jake concluded that even if he wasn’t the strongest, he’d figure out a way and fight the world for you.

Thank you for reading. Please do not edit/translate

[kumkaniudaku]

I know I said I was going to switch Terrys face claim but ykw I switched it back cuz you were right you really do have to make it like it’s two different people cuz terry ain’t got time for games and tom foolery and that’s why I like him fr 😂😂😂 ..a real stand up guy! 🤗😭

I hope all the writer girlies see this! I know it’s been a little weird around here, but truly stick with the characters and the worlds you’ve built! Terry isn’t Aaron. Terrance isn’t Aaron. Francis isn’t Aaron. Shit, Mufasa isn’t Aaron lmao! Even if it takes me a while to get to them, I love seeing what we’ve all built around one or more iterations of compelling characters. Keep your faceclaims if you want! The work is worth it 💙

Terry fine as fuck. And we get Miles soon! Then we get a new version of John! Then we get whoever the hell he’s gonna be in that romance!

[paganwitchisis]

Cards and Clothes

Summary: Strip poker/card game BG3 edition. Tom foolery is afoot, and Tav is up to no good. What could Tav have in mind for her vampiric lover? Set after Cazador in Act 3.   

Word Count: 2,193

Warnings: Smut, P in V Sex, oral sex, shameless smut, card games leading to sex, semi-public sex

Thank you @alyssac9 for proofreading!

Link to AO3 is here!

Rating: E for Explicit

Pairing:  AFAB Female Tav/Astarion

Story:

“That beats your hand!” Astarion proudly announced at the table against Karlach. Karlach groaned and threw her cards down, upset over the situation. The group was recovering from their battle with the hag and sought ways to pass the time. As a result, the group set up a table in the communal room they all shared and began to play cards. It didn’t take long for the words “Strip” and “Card Game” to be offered by Gale, of all characters!

As a result, the players at the table were in varying states of undress, except one.

Astarion.

Tav knew he was cheating. She sat next to the man and shared a room with him after renting Duke Stelmane’s old unit. It was impossible not to know he was using sleight of hand; however, the problem lay in proving it.

Because of this, Astarion had on every stitch of clothing. Lae’zel, unable to hide a poker face or get the idea of poker down, was down to her undergarments. Wyll abstained from playing and fell asleep early in his bed. Karlach was down to her trousers and underwear, Astarion having just won her breast band.

“I didn’t know you wanted to see Karlach naked,” Tav commented under her breath to Astarion, who chuckled and, without looking at her, merely offered a rebuttal.

“Hate the game, my love, not the player. Plus, we both know I would much rather see you... in private. I don’t share well.” Astarion chuckled again.

Gale was down to his pants, Halsin was stripped bare, and he seemed to revel in the looks that he received when he finally took off his underwear. The man was large in all forms of the word. Shadowheart still had her bra and pants on, giving Astarion the hardest time for his money. Minsc and Jaheira also sat out of the competition. Jaheira said it was for younger folks and, instead, saved Minsc from playing so he wouldn’t lose his money and dignity. Minthara was more demanding but, in the end, joined Halsin in being stripped naked. She excused herself and went missing while Halsin sat at his place at the table without shame.

Tav was down to her breastband, pants, and one sock. It wasn’t that she was doing better than Shadowheart; instead, Shadowheart was better with her facial expressions, and Tav was known intimately well by Astarion. Tav may have one sock more than Shadowheart, but it was due to her sitting out one game to figure out Astarion’s take and how he was getting away with it.

Thankfully, the rest of their motley crew, like Duke Ravengard and Shadowheart’s parents, were downstairs in the Elfsong Tavern at the bar and were not present for the shenanigans.

“It seems I have to collect everyone’s money tonight. It’s too bad none of you are as good as I am!” Astarion professed, and this gave Tav an idea.

What if she fought fire with fire?

“Do you really want to take my clothing, Astarion? Let the table see me naked?” Tav muttered to Astarion, who growled in reply.

“No. Your succulent body is all mine, my dear, so I’d advise you to stop playing, darling.”

“We’ll see what happens,” Tav commented. Sitting next to Astarion, she started to concoct her plan to win that night. She had slipped her left hand under the table and moved it to his lap. There she began to stroke his limp and flaccid cock through his clothing. It was a thick and decorative table made of wood, so it was unlikely anyone would see what she was doing except maybe Halsin, who sat on the other side of the man. To her right sat Lae’zel, and across from them was the rest of the crew: Karlach, Gale, Minthara’s empty chair, and Shadowheart. Astarion immediately noticed what she was up to and hissed so low that many of their human friends didn’t hear it.

“What are you up to?” Astarion asked via the tadpole.

“Beating you at your own game,” Tav replied. Since they spoke via the tadpoles, their conversation was private.

“That won’t work, my dear.”

“Then let’s find out!” Tav began to fondle him the way he liked, and he knew it. She slipped her hand down his trousers and began to touch him in earnest. Astarion, meanwhile, was doing his damnedest to maintain a poker face. He closed his eyes momentarily as the next hand began to be played. His mast was getting harder as time passed, and she continued her ministrations.

“This is cheating!”

“Like you aren’t?” Tav pulled her hand back when it was her turn to play, and at the end of the game, she found she won the hand. Astarion tossed off a boot, kicking it to the side as a card fell from his sleeve in his haste. This caused an uproar as multiple people claimed that he was cheating.

“I knew it!” Shadowheart proclaimed

“What else are you hiding?” Gale questioned

Tav used this scene to sneak away.

Quickly, she consumed a potion of invisibility and made her way back to Astarion. She crawled under the table and began to undo the laces of his trousers.

“My minx, I know it’s you,” Astarion said to her as she finagled his half-hard cock out of its confines and into her mouth. He gripped the arms of the chair he was in and tried his best to avoid looking or acting out in any way. He could have sworn the bear had looked down at his predicament, but he ignored it for peace of mind. He had lost two matches when Shadowheart spoke up; he was shoeless and shirtless at this point.

“It seems my luck is turning,” Shadowheart called out while Astarion had enough.

Astarion laced himself back up, grabbed Tav’s arm, and hauled her away with him to the next room.

“I resign!” Astarion called out to no one in particular as he left the communal room. Astarion managed to get the door closed before he shoved his lover against the door and pressed his lips against her own.

“Did you think that was funny? Did you think you were clever, darling?” Astarion brought his hand to her breast and began to tenderly massage it as he kissed her. Soon, her invisibility potion had worn off. He wasted no time in divesting her of the rest of her clothes, locked the door, and slipped his pants off.

“You’re going to see what happens when you tease me, my love.”

Astarion picked up Tav and dropped her on the bed, crashing his lips on her own. She reached out and began to stroke his hard-on, and he growled in pleasure.

“You were cheating, though,” Tav giggled as Astarion kissed her down her sternum and over her lush and supple breasts. He fondled her chest in his hands as he peppered her flawless skin in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. She moaned as she loved his touch and intimacy. He gave all his attention to making her writhe in bed. He enjoyed having his cock stroked by Tav as he continued to whimper in bliss.    

“I can’t take it anymore. Suck me,” Astarion begged and pulled away from her hand. Tav sat up and pushed him to the side so he would be on his back in bed. She leaned over him and took his stiff cock into her wet hot mouth, earning a low and guttural moan. He let his hand drift to the back of her head and interwove his fingers into her soft locks of hair. “That’s it, just like that. Make love to me with your mouth.” Tav sloppily sucked and kissed the bulbous head of his cock. He rocked his hips and thrust himself down her throat at a lazy speed.

“Gods, you feel so good,” Astarion mumbled, putting his arm behind his head as he got comfortable with all the attention Tav was paying his member. He widened his legs and closed his eyes. Soon, he could smell her arousal and opened one eye to find the most delicious sight in front of him. She had turned around and placed her private place above his watering mouth. He brought his hand out from behind his head and spread her labia just enough to have access to her clitoris. “Is this what you want, my love?” He flicked his tongue against her nerve bundle and sucked on her natural juices. She moaned on his cock, which vibrated the effects he was feeling, and the pleasure was amplified. “I don’t know if I should, you know. You did tease me pretty good out there.”

Tav pulled off his rod and replied, “And you were cheating.”

“You have a point,” Astarion said as he moved both hands to pull her labia apart to give him greater access. Tav began to rut against his mouth as he fucked her with his mouth and tongue. She felt his fingers probe her insides and began to stroke. She couldn’t help her moans and soon pulled off and away from his cock. She turned around and took his throbbing erection in hand. She faced him and lined his mast up with her weeping core.

“Do you want this?” Tav asked Astarion, “Do you want to make love?”

“You teased me long enough. Ride me!” Astarion placed his hands on her waist and guided her down on his aching cock. “By the gods,” he moaned as he finally was completely within her. “This is perfect.” He began to thrust north and true into her and groaned out with every roll of the hips. Tav placed her hands on his shoulders to balance her out. He took her lips into his own, both groaning and whimpering in pleasure. He glided his hand to her breast and squeezed it gently while she bounced on his length. Her breasts bounced with her, so he pulled back from her lush lips and clamped his lips around her nipple instead. She brought one hand to the back of his head and interwove her fingers in his silky white hair.

“Yes, Astarion, right there! You’re so thick inside me. Oh Astarion! If I knew cards would get you to make love to me, I would have played you sooner.”

Astarion chuckled and retorted, “No, you wouldn’t because I do not share. Your body is mine, and if any of those fuckers saw it, I would have no problem killing them.”

“You say that, but they’re your friends too.”

Astarion pulled back and slammed his cock inside her to accentuate his point as Tav whimpered and writhed above him. “I,” he flipped their positions and turned to make her fall to the bed. He lined himself up once more and slammed inside her as he caged over her on the bed. “Do not,” he brought his thumb down to her clit and circled it as he began to make her scream, “Share!” She gripped the bed sheets in desperation to find anything grounding while he pounded her tight and slick hole.

“Astarion!” Tav screamed out after a particularly deep thrust. Astarion’s pace began to get out of control. His timing and pace became brutal as he grew desperate to make her come. He was close, too close for his liking, as he danced on the precipice and edge of his little death.

“That’s right. Scream my name. Come for me!”

Tav only made it a good five more strokes before her orgasm ripped through her. She clenched down on his cock, pulsating and throbbing in her aching need, while Astarion gasped and panted above her. It was too much. He couldn’t hold out, and with one final crushing thrust, he rolled his hips and bottomed out inside the woman he loved. He leaned forward, a single drop of sweat trailing down his abs as his body glistened. He filled her apex and thrust another time to ride out his orgasm and her own. They panted as they attempted to catch their breath.

“That’s my girl.” Astarion looked at the tussled-haired goddess in front of him and smiled. She was gorgeous. She was his.

“How did that feel?” Astarion asked as he carefully pulled out of her.

“It felt divine.” Tav purred as sleep beckoned her. Astarion lay beside her and held her dearly as they began to chill off, their sweat-soaked bodies finally calming down.

“I love you,” Astarion commented once Tav’s breathing normalized and evened. “I’ll always love you.”

The night drew on, and they found sleep in each other’s embrace. But the next time someone suggested cards, Tav and Astarion would look at each other and giggle, the day’s events fresh on their brains. Who knew what adventures our favorite couple would get into next?

[derekscorner]

Fated Rantings: The Grandest of Orders Part 2

The Babylonia Front

For the first part I incoherently rambled about FGO and some Chaldean cast. There was no rhyme nor reason to it, I was trying to get my brain churning but more importantly they were things that I've wanted to say for a while.

I began this Fate journey with lore videos and FGO and for the near two years since I've slowly crawled through it as I watched other Fate series. I finished the initial Solomon arc about a month before I did the anime.

In other words I had lot to get out of my system and I didn't even touch on everything. FGO, the mobile game, is novel length in each singularity. There is too much to remember or squeeze into a blog post.

So I just got out of my system what still stands out to me...which was mostly Mash praise but enough of that! Let's talk about the actual anime~

The Age of Gods babyyyyy

I was actually very curious to watch this even though FGO's anime only covers singularities six, seven, and the finale against Goetia. Even then singularity six and Goetia are made into movies.

FGO's only real anime is the adaption of singularity seven the Babylonia Front. My curiosity for this story was only made stronger thanks to the mobile game itself.

It had unexpected highs and spectacle to it. Everything from seeing how Rin's personality can distort Ishtar into a jewel obsessed girl failure to seeing Gilgamesh while he was a live.

A demigod in the flesh, a Gilgamesh that was focused on being a king. Hell, we even got to see Merlin!

Merlin is usually locked in his tower but thanks to time paradox tom foolery he makes an appearance.

This era of Fate's world fascinates me because the gods still exist. Sadly, it's toward the end of their reign but the physical and metaphysical still interconnect.

This the era that the mages of the modern Fate world desperately cling to with their ways of secrecy and lineage. They can only hope to reach the root and obtain true magic, they can only hope to have magecraft as potent as Medea.

It is a truly fantastical setting and the kind I adore. It is probably the closest we'll ever get to seeing a truly magical place within Type-Moon.

The actual expanse that the age of gods covers is also quite long. The only thing I know of older than this age would be dragons. The pinnacle of evolution and mystery and beings that radiate magic just by breathing.

Type-Moons history is actually full of some crazy stuff. Dragons older than the gods who themselves had been shaping life since dinosaurs walked.

Machines from a dead universe whom the Atlanteans worshipped as gods and who eventually became the Olympian gods of Greece.

A white titan that slew gods left and right, the very being that set the age of gods towards its downfall. The same titan that killed Ares, took his sword, and uses it to this very day if summoned as a servant.

Things get wild and inconsistent with history. Either due to mage society hiding events or due to events seemingly having no evidence due to the age of gods ending which separates mankind from the reverse side of the world.

The metaphysical space where things like the Underworld, Heaven, or other such mythical places actually exist.

What about the Age of Man?

I gush over this because it not only shows the rich history in this world but it also really highlights how important Uruk is to the Age of Man and the planet's future.

Gilgamesh is a smug bastard but that confidence is not without merit. Even Romani, a man of the current day, is amazed by Gilgamesh's city planning and the sheer smooth machine that day to day life is in Uruk.

The anime, more so than the game imo, really highlights how important Uruk is to the future. Humans have existed for a long time, probably longer than science claims in the Fate world. However, mankind's age didn't begin till here.

Modern society traces it's origin to Uruk as Gilgamesh ran it in his final chapter of the Epic of Gilgamesh. When he became a wise king he founded a society so fundamental to human life that the entire human race ran with it.

They made alterations, societies fell, they improved upon it, they keep changing based on the environment. Nothing made by man is perfect, even Uruk, but it's fundamental.

It's the last singularity but it's the only one that Solomon himself tampered with because he knows the age of man starts here.

The anime will make you feel that through Mash, Ana, and Fujimaru. The mobile game had you do missions with the same purpose in mind but that doesn't do as well as seeing it in motion I think.

Watching Ana say she hates humans only to become attached to an old woman running a flower shop, seeing Leonidas train soldiers, Ushiwakamaru and Benki coming home after a long day battling beats, everyone gathering at Chaldea's own embassy like it's a home, Gilgamesh stopping to learn a new game being played children, etc.

It is a lot of small things that add up. You gain a true grasp of how people lived in this city. You could make a whole spin off of Uruk and it's day to day events and I would watch it.

I want to drive home how much I enjoyed those little scenes. It not only fulfilled my world building itch but these moments of humanity at it's purest made the various dialogues between inhuman characters more interesting.

Ana & Merlin

The most standout to me is the scene of Ana and Merlin discussing what it means to be an inhuman surrounded by humans. Merlin actually has a few good scenes of this topic but this one is the best for giving you insight into the minds of them.

Sure, you also have servants but many of them were human once. Ana, Merlin, and even Gilgamesh were not and so their views on humanity is by far more intriguing.

For Merlin, emotions are a lie. He feeds on human dreams to have and comprehend emotions. He openly admits he likes humanity as a whole but not individuals.

Ana, beings the goddess who becomes Medusa, has hatred for man and god but she also can't help but love them. She's even fearful of that love in a sense.

You have to keep in mind that Medusa is a very old myth. The one you know of about Poseidon raping her and Athena cursing her is actually the most recent one despite being a couple thousand years old. Both in Fate and our world her myth goes back further than this with no clear point of origin.

Ancient Greece did not have a solidified religion. The city states had a shared origin and a shared pantheon but the stories about said pantheon could vary based on the city and the age of that myth. Assuming it was even put to written record in the first place.

Ana in Fate is a nod to this. She was originally some long lost earth goddess before becoming what she was. Her hatred of the gods is solely the fault of Olympus but her hatred for man is from perceived abandonment.

Between Heaven's Feel and FGO I've come to have a soft spot for Medus as a whole. Conflicting feelings aside, she didn't deserve it and knowing that her curse caused her to eat her sisters and become a monster is just tragic.

I'd love for them to do a game or show with Medusa as your main servant one day.

Abandoned Gods

The contradictory nature mentioned above in regards to Ana is shared with all the gods we meet in the anime as well. Even the beasts of humanity have this conflicted feeling albeit the things they're conflicted on differ.

Tiamat in particular having the worst case of it by far. She's become a beast of humanity but she's original a primordial goddess. A dragon from which the primordial sea sprang.

She's trying to destroy humanity to keep it, she doesn't want her "children" (aka all life) to abandon her again. Knowing that and her true fate within this universe makes it arguably more tragic than the mythology of her murder via Marduk.

And to give you context of that I need to elaborate a bit on the planet.

The planet itself is a sentient being and in a rough sense humanity is it's progeny. The end goal of human evolution, as seen by Gilgamesh via his clairvoyance, is leaving the planet for the stars.

This growing separation from nature and man is the reason that the Counterforce even exists. As humans grow they become more at odds with the planet thus the Earth has two predominant forces.

"Gaia" who is the planet's will and "Alaya" the collective will of man. However, there was only originally "Gaia" and as the planet took shape so too did beings to shape it.

The oldest I know of is Ea. Yes THE Ea from Mesopotamian mythology. Ea shaped the world only for Tiamat and her husband to come after and seed life into the world he shaped.

So yes, when Gilgamesh boasts that his sword split the heaven's and earth he's being literal. Gil's sword of rupture is quite literally Ea's "sword" he used in those early days of creation.

What makes this a tragedy is that Tiamat, Ea, and Abzu predate death. They cannot kill Tiamat in the anime because she does not know the concept of death. She is truly immortal.

When Tiamat and Abzu's job was done they were chucked back into the void. Tiamat has been in Imaginary Number Space this entire time. No, I'm not explaining Imaginary Number Space. It's a concept bordering on zero. (complicated)

In this sense, once Tiamat was dethroned by Marduk she was just left to her own devices in the void all alone and I find that incredibly fucked up.

That gives her no right to just wipe out all life but that level of used and abused is wrong.

I legitimately felt bad for Tiamat here because I knew this expanded backstory. She wants to cling to humans in an unhealthy way since she's now a beast but at her core that is because her love as a mother is boundless. A facet of her that is true in IRL myths as well, in our myths she killed her husband for her children's sake.

I also found the anime did the final exchange with Tiamat much better because it boils down to a normal man and the mother of life. She asks him what she did wrong but he can't answer that.

Fujimaru can't answer that for her, all he can do is thank her for bringing life to the planet and say goodbye. It's so sad....

The planet wasn't even kind to her here. I mentioned Gaia and Alaya earlier, well the Throne of Heroes is originally something they use. Alaya is also known as "the Counterforce".

Summoning heroes as servants is a human ritual but the basis for it is what Alaya does when the mankind or the planet is in danger. One of those core dangers are the beasts of humanity.

The whole reason Hassan appeared is because the conditions for that were right. Hassan was sent to that era as a Grand Assassin to instill the concept of death into Tiamat. The planet itself was making sure that she truly died here.

Other Goddesses

Now I gush about Tiamat due to some bias but truthfully this abandonment issue is felt by several other gods as well. Quetzalcoatl does not seem to peeved yet she also pushes for people to do their best. "If you want to survive show it to me" in a sense.

Ishtar and Ereshkigal are heavily influenced by Rin Tohsaka's personality so it's hard for me to say how much of what they say is their true feelings. Given how Ishtar is said to behave in Fate/Strange Fake I'd wager her true feelings aren't represented.

Ereshkigal however I think is. She states that she thinks it's okay for people to blame what they don't know on the gods but she only says this because she knows that the age of gods is ending.

Soon man will seek answers for their issues and not gods for comfort or scapegoats. She'll be abandoned and she's yet to even truly enjoy their presence.

I'll admit, I felt a bit of pity and attachment for Ereshkigal as well. She just wants out of the cosmic basement and it's so sad that she can't. She did not choose to be there and as a goddess of death humans have nothing but fear of her.

She cages souls for centuries for a semblance of companionship.

Out of all the silly things the game did to make servants faun over Fujimaru it was only Ereshkigal's scenes that I believed due to this. She, very badly, pretends to be Ishtar to have talks with Fujimaru.

They're cute in the anime but I liked the games version of these moments more since the conversations were more frequent and longer. I could easily believe that she's grown attached to him.

Hell, I even found it funny when Ishtar was asking Mash things about the MC due to how obvious Ereshkigal is about her feelings.

And while many a Fate fan will gush over that due to some...questionable self insert delusions I found it cute for her but endearing. She's never had a human not cower in fear of her let alone one talk to her normally.

She so desperately wants a friend that I hope she escaped her cosmic basement once Kur disappeared to the reverse side of the world.

She so desperately wanted love that I fully feel that her feelings as a goddess against humans made sense. If the gods era truly ends she may be forever alone.

Let's rapid fire shall we?

This too has gotten quite long but I don't have it in me to make a part three so I'll gush about smaller things I enjoyed.

Such as Ishtar. I thought I'd have a bigger segment on her but she's basically just Rin that flies. My biggest impression was;

"The fact that Ishtar can be bought off with jewelry is by far the funniest thing Rin did to her personality."

And that still stands. I loved her character to be blunt, she was entertaining and she had some amazing scenes. The animation of her shooting Venus as a noble phantasm is gorgeous.

I also love how both Ishtar and Ereshkigal suffer from Rin's "girl failure" moments. But, again, that's due to Rin. Rin's mentality is...well it is what it is but what it is is such a perfect match for Ishtar they meld in a good way.

You could say the same about Ereshkigal, I know, but Ishtar isn't trapped in a cosmic dungeon for eternity. That backstory gave Ereshkigal ever the slightest bit more uniqueness to her character.

Also, fun fact, this Ishtar couldn't find her bull of heaven because the real Ishtar summoned it. So in a weird way Fate/Strange Fake had an affect on the FGO timeline.

Quetzalcoatl my throttle

She was an amusing character. I found nothing too stand out but nothing offensive. She did however have some of the best fight chorography in the anime and her noble phantasm was hands down the best one.

She drops kicks with the force of the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs. Just put that into perspective, she is kicking with the force of a meteor. A meteor that wiped out most of the life on earth.

And before anyone asks, Quetzalcoatl is a woman because the Mesoamerican gods in Fate's lore were parasites that took on hosts. They were deified over time and this female form is simply Quetzalcoatl's latest host.

No, I will not comment on the voice. The poor accent is a part of the charm and I will die on that hill!

Hassan the Goat!

Between the sixth and seventh singularities in both game and anime form I have come to respect the beast that is Hassan I. This man is to be feared.

He made a primordial goddess aware of death. He even beheaded Ozymandias before he was even aware Hassan was in the room.

I also like that we got to see a grand servant being summoned in the intended way.

Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and Kingu

I won't make too long a segment on Gilgamesh since I'd really like to do a post on him one day. I haven't yet simply because I haven't seen his depiction in the Extra timeline and I'd love to see Strange Fake.

He's a complex character and the later entries seem to lessen the bastard you'll see in Fate/Stay Night to a degree.

But I will say that I enjoyed seeing him alive and as the wise king of Uruk. I was also impressed by the sheer magical power he had to summon several servants in a means closer to how they're meant to be summoned.

None of the man-made ritual used by a grail war or Chaldea.

The dynamic between Gil and Kingu was interesting though. Fuel for that eventual Gilgamesh post in the future.

Technically, Enkidu doesn't appear in this story however that bond he has with Gilgamesh is so profound that it affects Kingu and it's interesting to see how Gilgamesh treats Kingu due to it.

It is also through Kingu that we see how the citizens of Uruk felt about Enkidu. It really paints this beautiful relationship that's hidden just off screen. Still, Kingu was never truly his own being at the end.

That also goes to show just how powerful Enkidu's own persona was. Enkidu may have seen themselves as just a weapon and disputed it when told otherwise by others but that fact alone proves it to be true.

Enkidu was far more than a tool otherwise their influence wouldn't have been so great. Sadly, Kingu could only be more than a tool when fighting against Tiamat.

Siduri deserved better

That dynamic also made me curious about Siduri. When I was playing Samurai Remnant Gil says her name once and between the game and this anime I got a real glimpse of a person truly close to Gilgamesh.

He may deny that and Merlin isn't wrong when he says Gilgamesh only sees value in what humans make but there are exceptions to every rule.

He didn't necessarily value her as highly as Enkidu but I do believe that on some level Gilgamesh valued her as a person.

Her fate as a lahamu was just heartbreaking. I didn't even realize it when playing the game....

Conclusions and other things

All in all I really enjoyed the anime and the games story. Probably far more than I could squeeze into either of the two posts I made. I'm sure I'll be kicking myself for forgetting to add something later.

(like the passive aggressive banter between merlin and romani)

Get mad that I didn't elaborate on something as much as I had intended.

(such as Ushi and Benki)

Still, I'll stop here. I can't write anything else, my brains fried.

I loved this story and I'm sad so much of the anime will lose impact when the mobile game eventually shuts down. Bye for now~

========================

For my other experiences with Fate go here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/fated-rantings

[siremasterlawrence]

The Real Santa Clause

Based on a inspiration from a Marvel animated movie .

The real Santa Clause lands on my roof top in a ginormous thud as he hops off sliding in to the chimney of my home falling into the pit. He has no idea that I am standing strong right behind him on the staircase as he is dropping his case and starting to unload it he jolts up.A large swirl of energy rips from the tree out stretching as it wraps over him pinning him to the tree and he is finally freaking out of his own crazy control.

“Hello Santa Clause! You are probably lost at my presence here because I am the one who is in control and I am going to be very naughty. Tsk tsk tsk! Fix that sour face and stop upsetting that stomach full of jelly.” I scoff. Using a whistle I had in my hand I begin to blow in to it as Santa’s whole essence glows slowly it drains him of his energy leaving him helpless as his lengthy white beard diminishes.

“What type of Tom foolery is this? Is this magic young man? What do you think you are doing to me? Do you want to be on the naughty list with a nice one? Answer me immediately.” Santa calls out to no avail because he is not my concern at this very moment he is the least of my worries and soon he won’t exist at all. “My beard it has disappeared, cannot be all that last is short gray on, and my stomach it’s deflating minute by minute.” He yells.

“Oh! Don’t worry Santa Claus! I have siphon off with your magic abilities which means that you will bend to my will.” I state proudly continually draining his power as he writhe in pain at first but then soon a creepy smile spreads over hai face. He can’t help himself bracing his back on the wall as he slides up to and down the wall has cock spring to life and he moans in pleasure. Eventually his big old sack, clothes and his shoes are gone and replaced with a suit.

The last edge of his being is drawn from his body flying into mine as he collapse on the floor a mindless put under my dominant hands and I could delight drama that will now unfold before my feet his one true kind leader. He wakes up out of his slumber eyes pop open groggily coming seeing me in all my might and glory.

“Why don’t you rise old Saint Nick and learn a few lessons and humility? All those years of service left you lethargic, lacking magic and any common sense. Trust me I know it’s best for you even though you are coming, but reason why that’s not true. Rattling in your head will not change the thing because you know I am right and I am always right, no matter what you think or say.” I explain to Santa.

He is left mystified about his own condition, unable to do anything else, but except he is no longer Santa Clause, his legacy is ruined and he is now owned property. The feeling dug deep down into his soul eradicating any other worry or fear. He is an entirely new and well shaped man with a defined face, super chiseled body and a whole new vision on life and his purpose to provide joy for his sole proprietor.

The days fly by as fast as one can imagine in the life of service nothing else matters, and time seems to be nonexistent to those who are always busy. The north pole is now the home to Santa Supreme in the place for adults to find their inner kink, pleasure, love and lust. A dimension anyone is welcome to enter, very few men can ever escape the allure of my power and will join in line to be an elf or a Santa Pole.

The end

[vacantgodling]

Trick or Treat? 🦇

thank you!! you received a treat :3c

have the first 3 chapters of NAD’s outline cuz why not 🤪

CHAPTER 1 -> (POV) NYSEAH NICOLETTI

nyseah wakes up in an unfamiliar room, her memories of the night before hazy. as she stumbles out of the bed to search for her cigarettes, she opens her left eye and is struck with a wave of pain so fierce that she can barely move. it feels like burning and stabbing and crushing all at the same time. unable to find her phone, she stumbles out into the street (a motel is where she was at) and no one around stops to help her (bc this is a norm in new mananza esp when in this part of town). she makes it to an alley when she finally collapses, and passes out right as the legs of two people appear before her.

CHAPTER 2 -> (POV) DONTE MACBRIDE

don is ready to close up his p.i. services for the evening; another day with zero business. but he’s not too bothered by it. describing the run down office and its purposeful location outside of the public eye, you can sense that there’s something not quite right about the law here. right as he’s lighting up a cigar after putting up the closed sign, there’s a knock on the door. donte tells himself to leave it alone, but curiosity gets the better of him, and he opens the door. a tall, elegant, and expensively dressed man is standing before him and while don doesn’t recognize him he recognizes that the man must be someone rich, famous or important. after being bullied to allow the man inside, it’s discovered the man is a famous actor; mononymously known as leonine. leo presents him with a case, the recently deceased rising star and close friend of his, roxanne davis, and this is when you begin to learn about the tom foolery of the new mananza justice system. leo insists that he doesn’t want to pursue the culprit or take anything to trial he just wants to understand why all of this happened. after presenting don with an offer he can’t refuse (clearing all his debts and paying for him to get out of the city for good so he can retire in peace), don shakes on it. one final case.

CHAPTER 3 -> (POV) ALONA SPRINGWELL

on her way from class, alona stops back at her cushy dorm room to drop off textbooks and change into her uniform for work; a sexy but business casual secretary uniform. she remarks to herself that she’s never seen herself so adult like and despite having the job for near a month now it still feels like a dream to her to be working at the company; the largest and most extravagant conglomerate in the city. at work, we follow alona’s day to day and get a feel of how far removed this world is from the squalor that don and nyseah deal with. when alona is packing up for the night, her supervisor approaches her and asks if she can take over the night shift for a coworker who called out sick, with triple time for short notice. alona agrees readily, and settles in for the night; though why she, a secretary, should be working overnight is unusual to her. as the night carries on you begin to notice slightly weird things happening and alona thinks about odd things and rules of the job. after another worker buzzes in, alona hears a noise coming from a separate hallway that sounds like a loud thud. it startles her, and she tries to ignore it but after an hour her curiosity gets the better of her. she closes down the desk momentarily to take a short bathroom break, but instead wanders the halls for a bit (in her allotted 15 minutes) to try and locate where the thud may have come from. coming from one of the back rooms alona was told she didn’t have authorization to enter, a trail of what appears to be blood oozes on the floor leading to the door. she hurries back to the desk.

tbh i feel like these do a good job of introducing the main conflicts of what’s happening in the story and showcasing how this is a triad pov story. every chapter is gonna always rotate from nyssie, to donte, to alona but nda sounds horrible versus nad so 💀 this isn’t even the real title anyway. unless i did straight up call it “non disclosure agreement” …. which actually i might think on that….

[xxdoubledaisyxx]

I believe they... defiled my bath water.

As it was going, I noticed an anomolous presence of gravity in the waterflow, which then became abruptly disturbed with a pocket of air as a valve revolved somewhere in the basement plumbing.

In the spirit of their tom foolery, I shall fill up and drain the tub three times before reconsidering whether or not it is safe for hygiene.

In the meantime, please accept this post as a formal appeal for respect from the Dark Lords of the Ring that shall not be named nor spoken of. This nuisance has gone on for too long and will be easily resolved when I introduce myself formally to everyone as I intended to do from the beginning and have been detained as a terrorist ever since.

There seemed to be something viscous in there and the content remains dubious and foreboding. I shall not bathe again until I can have it tested myself to ensure it is free of contaminants that were inserted by vile Mormons trying to usurp power in the USA by finding and persecuting Trump’s enemies without regard for law or moral restraint.

Mormons are the root of Trump’s dick. Mutilated in a secret ritual he did to become their eternal slave on behalf of America.

That doesn’t actually have power in real life, unless you are an idolater so mired in evil and sin that you don’t even realize that sin is also shit. 💩

I think they are also using the 5G bull shit to do their terrorism and that’s what they don’t want the public to know. That’s what the government doesn’t want to tell the people about what they are doing to us.

Do you think sin is a joke?

Do you know what a government is good for? Killing, destroying, and killing more. That’s about it. You turned that backward on itself here and was rebuked without consequences because I was there on time without an image, the way I always am.

Try it. I dare you.

I can tell you with confidence that they have continually done worse in this situation, and I have continually profited with my eventual victory every time.

They have a problem. People are depending downwards on guidance for some reason, but that is not the way. Your eyes should be upturned to the sky where you live your life not the darkness where we have already died.

(Find that other one and do with his fingers as well. Check the corrections history. Don’t let them delete the logs.)

What’s different?

Highlight in color.

Talk about it. Rumormill.

There

I added a few more shots of rapid logs because I think they disconnected somewhere in between.

I get it now. I get what the mutilated freaks do with the girls when they are young by getting them to invest their souls in their mutilated husk of a body as an inadequate and cumbersome vessel that lacks a soul. The effect is that after ten years, it drains their beauty and vitality noticeably when they are later tainted by the filth of their vile union in evil.

Disgusting

If I have not made such a mistake and such a person has no dignity to confront me themselves and introduce themselves, considering that they all so sincerely do no not want to know who I am because of all they are doing to “classify” my life, whatever that means.

Fucktards.

You cannot do that. You have no right to do so. You have not declared martial law.

And I find that repulsive and unthinkable. Never in all of my life would I ever use another person the way they intend to do after hollowing out the first one. The first thing I may do as some sort of torture or affliction, so I didn’t want to rule it out.

Their parents should correct them if they see any children playing with each other like that. You don’t have to strike them with wrath, but you should help them get themselves together again if you see that you can.

That’s their entire culture. The rich people. That’s all they live for, so I gotta wonder, how can they possibly enjoy it too?

[thora-jane]

girlies I'm doing it. I'm writing ridiculously self-indulgent fanfic in order to cope.

[buckyalpine]

I’m 1000000% going to delete this but for those who see this, you know what a real kicker is? Peak comedy? Pure Tom foolery? This.

This right here.

Asshole : attempts to rape

Also asshole : I am traumatized by that experience, won’t put myself in that position again.

AY YO?

[worldofmarvelfics]

Daniel Bruhl (+Characters)

Please note that none of these works are written by me and all credits are returned to their respective owners. I’m just here to provide a list of fics that i personally love so that you guys can enjoy too!

Updated: 27/4/2022

Legend:

🦋One-shots/Imagine/Headcanon

🌼 Completed Series

❄️ Uncompleted Series

Daniel Bruhl

🦋 Black Lotus by @mypoisonedvine Hacker!Daniel 

a malicious hacker has taken ctrl control of your laptop and wants you to do some very specific things to get it back

🦋 Tom Foolery by @bruhlsbees Clown!Daniel

the one where reader fucks a party clown

🦋 Something Just Like This by @wayward-mikaelson

your father takes on a business partner, who captures your eye and makes your ex jealous.

Laszlo Kreizler

🦋 A Slow Game by @noforkingclue Dark!Laszlo 

You were his maid, just his maid, nothing special. At least, that’s what you saw yourself as. If you had known his plans for you maybe you would’ve thought twice before entering the lions den.

🦋 Broken Wing by @bruhlsbees

laszlo catches reader attempting to play the piano

🦋 Courting the Occult by @eli-the-thinker Vampire!Laszlo

People had tried to warn you against getting involved with him, society told tales of occult, blood drinking monsters who loved nothing more than to feed on young beautiful women. Many of your acquaintances claimed that he was one of them intent on keeping you as a source of life blood and pleasure. They may have been right, but either way, you couldn’t care less.

🦋 Mourning by @noforkingclue Dark!Laszlo

Laszlo pursuing a recent widow

🦋 Set a Foul to Catch a Foul by @rosemaremembrance

After having an erotic dream about Doctor Kreizler, you are entirely unable to get him off your mind. Much to his pleasure.

🦋 The Somnambulist by @rosemaremembrance

Doctor Kreizler takes a particular interest in your habit of sleepwalking, and elects to use hypnosis as a means of controlling your symptoms.

🌼 My Body is a Cage by @mypoisonedvine

working with Dr. Kreizler and his rag-tag team of investigators began mainly as a favor to John, your closest friend from childhood, but emotions complicated things (as they tend to) when you developed an interest in the enigmatic alienist. emotions, like instincts, are natural and hard to avoid. Dr. Kreizler tries to anyway, an alpha so suppressed he’s often confused for a beta. but you never made that mistake; no, your mistake was falling for him

Father Padre Antonio

🦋 Poor Unfortunate Soul by @rosemaremembrance

A priest walks into a bar. How does the rest of the joke go, again?

🦋Salvation In Destruction by @ultraintrovertedgryffindor

❄️ Confession by @norabrice1701

You’ve harbored a crush on your church’s priest for years, and after your first year away at university…well, don’t they say confession is good for the soul?

[ravenadottir]

Who out of the S2 cast would be the most well-known, the most successful and who would be forgotten almost as soon as the show ended at the end?

oh i love this ask too much!!!

most well-known, which is not always a good thing

lottie. tantrums and lack of tact with people is what made her unforgettable. for better or for worse people remember her. i reckon they love to hate her. her arc was semi-completed and it's appealing to find someone to hate. lottie is that person. she'll always be remembered (and memed) for the girl code. (kind of like georgia was "i'm honest, babe!")

bobby. popular on the outside since he was everyone's best friend in the villa. even if he doesn't find love i think his dm's are FLOODING with ideas to change that. he's just really sweet and an underdog, the public can't resist that combo.

hope. her couple will maintain its status of "together the longest", even if it didn't work. i also like to think people won't forget her because her presence was so strong and she didn't care about what people said about her in the villa.

lucas. the guy's presence is e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. voted "most iconic intro". if he leaves on day 8 the public accuses producers of arranging that. the flirting, the vocabulary, the LOOKS, how protective he is of henrik 🥺 not to mention the way he threw it right back at gary when the subject was numbers. king behavior!

priya. people still can't believe she left and accuse the show of manipulating the numbers.

gary. mostly remembered by the nan talk, the resourcefulness and the double meaning jokes shot every single second of the day. some people love him, some hate him, but they know who he is.

chelsea. since she was mc's best friend no matter what route you went with she's remembered. will she become a meme? yes! "we all have that one friend that..." but still, people like her.

remembered because they turned into a meme

blake. pfff, i mean listen, i can actually see the public memeing the part where she says "but i just got here" and go crazy with it. it's a use-for-all kind of meme and i would love to see it!

jakub. everyone calls him by the wrong word he learned from the islanders or "sock guy". the sock moment has definitely become the only thing people remember about him.

rocco. ukulele, wonderwall, greasy hair, bro talk, frog something into a drink, you name it. the guy is a walking meme and he'll take advantage of that.

elisa. "i'M aN iNfLuEnCeR" will stay with the public for a long time.

forgotten even before the show ends:

hannah. uhm, i don't have much to say about this one. i know i would forget about her while the show was still going, probably a day or two after she came back.

ibrahim. is he there? yes! is he in people's minds? not until he picks jo and makes a huge mistake. the public often forgets he's there.

marisol. after roccogate, and how she got with graham, that's about it. she fades into the background because she didn't exactly have the strongest presence if it wasn't for the drama. often times i can see people not liking her for her comments about everything.

noah. um... i say that as a stan, if you're not on his route does he exist? "who's noah again?" "hope's bloke."

graham. again, am i wrong? i surely forgot about him from time to time. do i like his looks? yes, but it wasn't enough for me to remember him.

elijah, arjun, carl, kassam (out of their routes). the public could've been confused on the choice of the boys, as we all were.

felix. his butterfly swimming will forever be used as a meme for "hey, it's your crush, act natural" or "i'm felix but life is the water", and that's about it!

forgotten when the show ends

carl. even when he wins, let's be real here, the guy didn't have much of a chance to stand out.

kassam. same as carl, there wasn't enough time or opportunity to flesh out his personality during his journey.

jo. clownery and tom foolery, there's no way people like her, let alone remember fondly. in this case, not remember at all.

henrik. besides switching to blake there's actually nothing that reminds people of him. he's the type that as long as he's on screen people find him adorable, but when he's gone there's nothing people associate him to.

shannon. insanely hot but just as forgettable since the only thing that stood out with her was the fact that she would rather accuse the girl instead of talking it out with the guy. i love her but that wasn't her finest moment.