#what is the point on being so sad over smth this stupid?

[t4tbedehopmar]

How bad can I bee

.......i love u anon

[deoidesign]

.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[angelanderson]

I really want an Ellabs x reader fic of fem reader really needing comfort bc she's sad/overwhelmed but she tries to hide it from ellabs but obv they notice smth is off, so they tell her they noticed smth is wrong and she kinda breaks down at that, then they comfort her thru it, listening to her problems or insecurities n'stuff <33 Sorry if it's confusing and/or too long, u dont gotta do it but i'd appreciate it tons <33 (Im totally not self projecting)

ur projecting = supported. 🫢 100% sfw/comfort fic but still no men or minors. type of relationship between them is up to u! this ended up a semi- full length fic oops ? enjoy!

sometimes it just feels too hard. being the newest member in jackson means you feel like you have to prove your worth 24/7. and it’s exhausting, really. abby is just so strong, ellie has the best patrol work, and you? you feel… weak. you (falsely) feel like nothing you’ve done has proven you’re worth the space in jackson.

so when monday rolls around, you tell ellie and abby you have plans with someone else so you can just go home and hide. they don’t question that, why would they? tuesday you tell them you wanna go to bed early. okay, fine. but then it’s wednesday, and they’re starting to get that something is going on with you.

the worry starts to kick in wednesday night after maria tells the two women you asked to go home early, citing that you’re not feeling well. abby all but drags ellie to your tiny place immediately after hearing maria’s words. you always tell each other everything. so why didn’t you now?!

it’s easy to know abby and ellie are knocking at your door simply because of the sheer force of it. five minutes you try to pretend you’re not home. you don’t want them to see you in this state; you’ve been ugly crying for two hours now. however, they don’t give up. it’s not like you could expect anything else from them.

“baby, we know you’re home. let us in, yeah? we’re worried about you,” abby shouts out after another two minutes of knocking.

you respond back with a sickly voice from the sofa, “no, go away. ‘m busy.”

you can just feel the attitude enter ellie’s body now. you know how stubborn she can be. “no, we know you’re lying. i will find a way in if you don’t let us in within the next thirty seconds.”

you know she isn’t joking as you move to open the door. the sight of you upon opening the door is not a pretty one— your face is red, covered in tears. ellie takes a deep breath before she pushes in. she won’t let you shut them out anymore. abby shuts the door before them before heading you back onto the sofa with them. each other is on either side of you within the matter of seconds.

as per usual, abby is the first one to break the silence. “oh, honey, what’s going on? we could’ve helped you sooner if we knew.” the way she sounds sad just makes you feel worse.

insecurities once again bubbling over, you do the only thing you can think of: you try to shove abby away. being significantly stronger than you means it didn’t feel like a single thing. however, abby won’t put up with you lashing out right now. she knows you can be their sweet girl even in the toughest of moments.

ellie watches like a hawk as abby grabs both of your wrists to stop you from trying to push her away again. “just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you can act out. are you going to be the big girl i know you are now? or do i need to keep you here?”

the concerned sternness of her voice makes you whimper in reply. fresh tears leak down your face as you try to find the words to explain. “i- i just don’t think i deserve to be here! everyone, especially you two, carry your weight around here! and what do i do? i’m just a stupid girl working in the bar!”

and, well, neither of them could say they were expecting that response. sure, you were newer to Jackson, but so was everyone at one point. you were also one of the most popular Jackson residents— everyone loves the energy you bring to the bar after a long day of work. so it just makes sense that both women are beyond shocked to realize that this is why you’re so down. how could you not know how loved you are here?

as yet another round of tears starts to fall, you feel abby’s big arms quickly pull you into her chest. your body starts to shake with each inhale as you start to sob into abby’s chest. while ellie rushes to rub your back, abby starts to tilt your head up so you can see her.

“angel, angel, no. let’s take some deep breathes and then we’ll all have a talk, okay?”, abby coos as she wipes away the falling tears.

ellie puts your right hand over abby’s heart when your breathing doesn’t start to slow any. she speaks in the softest voice she can muster up,“deep breaths with me and abby, baby. feel abby’s heart beat. we’re all going to just relax together before anything else.”

two minutes between your favorite people is all it takes to reduce you to just sniffles. you slouch back into your seat once you’ve finally caught your breath. you look up at abby and ellie with wet eyes before letting out a long sigh. no one is sure who should speak first.

ellie decides she’ll be the one to start, “it’s not true, you know? everyone here loves you. helping run the bar is important. you create a space where we can all relax for once. emphasis on the relax part.”

abby grunts in agreement with ellie. “you know ellie’s right, don’t you baby,” abby questions before looking over to ellie, “our favorite girl’s always making everyone feel happy, isn’t she?”

“for real though, you really do play a big part here. you know ellie and i started arguing less when you came around? pretty big deal there, you know. even joel commented on it,” the dirty blonde continues on the conversation.

and that makes you giggle for the first time all day. “even joel? really?” while you knew they had a previous history of more frequent fights, you didn’t know even joel was over it back then too.

“yeah, it’s really true,” abby starts before taking a breath to think about her next words. she exhales, “strength isn’t everything, you know? you add just as much as we do here. creating a space where people can relax while we live on this hell on earth is just as important as what we do. we all do the best here because we are better with each other. our system can’t function without others.”

you’re sure you’d be crying tears of happiness right now if you weren’t so exhausted from all your previous crying. your previous anxieties start to slip away as you start to truly internalize both of their words from today. you are important. you matter here. just like everyone else.

no one is given a chance to speak before you’re pulling ellie and yourself on top of abby. “i love you, i love you, i love you both,” you whisper out. “you’re right. i promise i’ll come talk to you next time i’m feeling down, okay? know you’ll make me say that part next!”

“okay smarty pants, you better. also, we always are, darling. love you the most,” teases ellie before she presses a kiss to the back of your head.

“hey! what if i love you both the most? then what?” you’re sure you can feel ellie roll her eyes as abby whines out playfully.

“okay, okay. how about we all love each other the most? can we just agree so i can drink some water now? my head is killing me.” a major post-crying headache has just started to come on for you.

ellie rolls her eyes playful at both of you. “i’ll get us all some water”, she commands as she walks to your kitchen, “and get comfy with abby. we’ll watch a movie, and yes, you can choose today.”

yay! end note to say ur important and i’m glad ur here + love that we all each add our own special things to this earth 🫂

[mikuustuff]

☆°.DABI HEADCANONS.°☆

[Song 4 the mood] --- some silly hcs of my bbg to start off my blog<33

_They get more intresting as you continue to read lmao

_Warnings- swearing, blood tears

☆Doesn't like spicy food, burns his throat and sour stuff is 10x more horrible, he has a raging sweet tooth tho!

☆LOVES peppermint (+flavoured stuff) it soothes his throats internal burns

☆Likes to sleep butt naked, absolutely no tops and his trousers are like a trap for his legs, he's laying in bed with shorts/boxers only

☆VERY picky eater (doesn't eat fruit hates citrus stuff but likes vegetables, Enji prolly ate them alot to keep fit which influenced Touya to follow thru)

☆Doesn't laugh at other ppls jokes, maybe a snort or gruff with a smirk

-defo snickers a lot tho when it comes to insults from him or hearing ppl give someone else a good insult

-BUT especially after his reveal and feeling less constipated of his personal life and identity he HOLLERS

-he's finally being loud and clear and WANTS to be heard

-If he hears smth funny he will bellow a loud ass laugh especially if he's the one making a joke, he's rolling all over the ground giggling and will give ppl dirty looks for not laughing along with him

-Girliest giggles while scrolling thru Enji hate twitter meme posts at like 4am

☆horrible sleep schedule, NEVER knows what time it is

☆Really doesn't give a shit abt anyth (thats not apart of his 'scheme' anyway)

-but sometimes if he's interested enuff he'll become all competitive and try to open up on you getting all cocky

-SUPER salty when he loses he's a silent sulker and will most likely berate u for it (sore ahh loser)

-SOOO SMUG IF HE WINS THO will all of a sudden mention a bet u two never made so now ur in debt to him for smth, its usually rly tame tho like if he's too lazy to get himself a drink he's been craving so now ur his little errand runner

☆100% watched those "real or fake?!" Cake videos with his siblings when they were younger

-Would throw massive hissy fits if shoto gets one right and he doesn't

-shoto is like a baby so bro is probably drooling and pointing at the screen cooing happily that he's copying his big bro touya while his role model is actually fucking seething

☆Because of this shoto prolly tried to copy touya a lot as a baby, saw big bro as a role model and made all the same decisions as him especially since touya is the only other kid with a fire quirk

☆BIG CRYBABY (after revealed identity) he's finally free he's no longer emotionally constipated, happy sad angry doesn't matter there is blood spilling from his scars but its always with a smile cause that's how he always was as a kid too, he doesn't know why he does that himself but it's actually because he can't cry, his body doesn't allow him to express his emotions properly however he can still smile

☆doesn't feel pain anywhere, uses that to his advantage a lot...

☆However he's still a whiny baby, gets stomach aches a lot prolly, his burns always itch and always has a migraine, will let EVERYONE know as an excuse for them to stfu or do shit for him, however if he's feeling especially vulnerable when feeling rly sick he's quiet and fidgety cause as a kid it was probably seen as a weakness that he would want to hide from Enji so he could train

☆Has travel/motion sickness (js like me fr), will vomit after watching a 3D Movie he's that pathetic, roller coasters r a big nono makes him dizzy js looking at them

☆ALWAYS stays up thru every movie, never once falls asleep on the couch even as a kid he gets stupid fomo over anyth (prolly bcs of Enji and shoto training)

☆He stims a lot when he gets excited/overstimulated/annoyed (kinda canon?)  Mostly his feet

☆HE DID NOT PLAN HIS DANCE, he was so into the moment and was so excited and full of emotion he just busted out moves and started dancing from sheer joy to finally be recognised once again (he stimmed lmao)

☆Bcs of his feet stims he defo was a random tiptoe walker as a kid and sometimes randomly does it as an adult

☆HUGE SENSORY ISSUE WITH SOCKS I've never seen bro wear any anyways?? Everyone in the LoV saw his feet when he wore his church shoes in s2 so wearing his big fancy boots is a great way to hide his free grippers

☆Bac to food he prolly rly likes plain food, pass him mac n cheese or any plain/tomato sauce pasta and he's happily chomping away with that big ass mouth, loves potatoes dishes he likes the mushy stuff, because of his big jaw eventho he hates fish he LOVES his chicken and beef and bites at the bone, turns into a rabbid animal sometimes

☆SO shit at shooter games, can't aim and just doesn't have the energy to get competitive over it, low key stresses him out

-however he LOVES anything that was on the Wii that he played as a kid cause he knows what he's doing, him fuyumi and natsuo all have a 3DS and got the same games to play with each other

-few years later he's now an adult with a distaste for ps5 and pcs but tenko gives him a random hacked 3DS extra he had cause dabi was complaining abt being bored when they had to lay low after some risky missions

-and he. went. feral.

-A shooter game on the 3DS? He knows what he's doing

-Defo showed off the cool trick to play as luigi in Mario bros but liked mario more cause ONCE enji said mario was 'cool'

-Always mained bowser (cause...yk Enji parallels) in Mario kart from childhood tho as an adult hes a dry bones guy, he's a nintendo>Sega baby does not know sonic nor gives a fuck

-knows quite a bit abt pokemon because fuyu had a hyperfixation on it and relaxes in animal crossing new leaf since that was natsus fav game cause he was the youngest and sucked at the harder ones, touya played a lot with them both

-but his favourite..is cooking mama 1-3 HES SO GOOD AT IT?? Just enuff chill and competitiveness, however gets weird ass whiplashes if he misses up (rarley) when mama has those fire eyes when shes angry...sounds familiar to a certain someone...

-also has a special memory of Rei trying the game and touya makes fun of his mama cause she sucked and ends up teaching her how to play and she actually gets rly good..as a kid it made him happy and proud...

-absolutely destroyed his dad in any wii sports games tho, 4 sure bowling/that samurai sword thingy is his goat (ifykyk)

-Sure he hates all the other consoles but he thinks the switch is alright, defo thought of natsu when acnh came out and the other pokemon games for fuyu

-SUPER salty no cooking mama games were made tho

☆whole heartedly believe he'd be a mamas boy if they found touya at 16 or if the incident at 13 didn't happen, would have time to mature (and yk don't miss like 3 super important years of actual development then living alone after said missed development) he would learn to see that appeasing enji was something he'd learn to resent and hate

☆Likes spiders, let's them crawl om him before flicking them off with a bored expression but if he finds out someone's scared of them he will start spooking them with the spider or ridicule them abt thier irrational fear to smth so small and inferior

-He was scared of them as a kid but during his ig...runaway Arc? (That we have no canon actual mentions of? Ig apart from the anime laptop scenes?) He found them around the places he'd sleep in for shelter so he kinda grew accustomed to them, so now knowing he overcame a fear so small he kinda likes to flaunt around his conquered fear and make fun of those still scared of them cause he's childish and thinks he's sooo great for getting over smth childish

☆surprisingly cares abt his nails? Doesn't like getting grime in them and screams internally when he sees toga a chronic nail biter chomp away at her nails mindlessly, he hates it it just irks him

☆Ik I said he'd be a picky eater, but I think in his runaway arc and first joining the LoV he became used to eating ANYTHING, raw, burnt, out of date he didn't care anymore food is food, give dude a freshly pink torn chicken wing and he'd silently eat it while watching some endeavour clip

-His obsession was so bad sometimes when he was this age that he'd forget to eat or sleep some days, hence getting him into his habit of eating anything and forcing himself out of his picky eater era

-Fortunately after joining the LoV and the whole liberation fight he went back to being his picky eater princess brat appetite back

☆Reported any endeavour praised videos, would try to dox endeavour fans and harass them, would block anyone that would disagree with him, had MULTIPLE accs cause he's js that extra, 100% used like 1 or 2 acts to back up another acc that got into a fight to look like ppl were on his side cause he's js that much of a petty baby, would be mean to literally any media (cause like let's be fr he watched other shit on that YouTube laptop) and would silently have a guilty pleasure watching creepypasta vids and speedpaints, knows all thier lore and was a victim to the slenderman family trope thing, prolly idolised the edgy teens that turn into psychomurderers ig as he starts to peice his new identity and yk...actually murdering ppl...but who cares??? mention eyeless Jack and his eyes will secretly sparkle in 90s anime style fashion, let bro rant abt it...

☆Speaking of which, if he were to ever doodle he'd so have some sort of low effort chibi 90s anime/scene emo kid art style, dude defo has an emo D carved/flamed on random abandoned buildings, was also a kid obsessed with that one S doodle

☆He's a pretty light sleeper, he never got much sleep as a kid and would prolly try to imitate enjis rly bad hero sleep schedule, after the hospital arc he defo is a sleepy guy but again can't sleep since he's on the streets, however after joining LoV he gets a little better at sleeping, before he was a silent guy but now he's js like his 13 Yr old self snoring LOUDLY but will 100% deny it, still a light sleeper but a little less worse than what it was

MY HC W ME/READER IG HEH😈(self indulgent cause I can)

☆He doesn't care much for music, will remember those old nightcore songs and doesn't mind heavy metal and rock but it kinda gives him a headache so he doesn't rly go out of his way to listen to anyth, u will NOT catch bro jamming to some random pop song, maybe after his reveal ull get a sentence or two from a popular old song from like avril lavene and a foot step to a rhythm but again not much care, however dude wouldn't mind listening to my background animal crossing playlist, he'd defo love the rain sf versions and would prolly help him sleep, the rain is a super big comfort to him it's like his white noise, his favourite is 1AM in acnl cause...idk it js is dont fight me on it

☆WORSE night terrors, is a victim of sleep paralysis, sleeping on the streets defo did a huge number on this dude, if we're talking abt being a potential partner he'd calm down and gently pull u towards him to hold it'll help him feel grounded, makes him feel safe knowing someone is sleeping next to him in general like he slept next to natsuo, when he was a kid natsuo would be too tired and a heavy sleeper to rly know abt touya waking up in sweats which didn't help when he was younger(natsuo is not like his big bro he is a DEEP sleeper) so if ur there with him hugging him whispering a word or two of reassurance(don't start blabbering he'll get annoyed he's prone to headaches especially when ur trying to be some saint) so he'll find comfort in u, best believe he's getting a good rest

Hope u enjoyed!!<33 I love yapping --- DO NOT STEAL/REPOST

[Wait the self-indulgent hcs were low key fun might make more lol]

[14th-century-verona-queer]

Okay so i have NEVER (and i mean NEVER) watched TUA, but my wonderful and amazing friend @aroacebooknerd is a huge fan and quite genuinely 99.9% of what they’ve posted recently has been reblogs of people who are angry about the S4 ending and the character assassination of Five

so here’s basically what I know about season four (and TUA in general):

TUA fans: Oh boy! I can’t wait for the season 4 finale, we’re finally gonna get closure! I’m hoping all the characters will finally be happy and something with marigolds will happen! TUA director (i think): uhm actually no we’re going to give this practically cannon aroace character a love interest and make him a homewrecker! That’s what you guys wanted right? TUA fans: *unintelligible screeching and angry noises*

So heres what i know:

Marigolds?? Those are important for the ending for some reason

a man named Klaus who sets off my gaydar and smth abt him being a stripper? (He’s like my queen Dan wildes, pop off king)

Five (I I still don’t know why he’s named after a number?) is somehow like 75 but also 18

This woman named..uh I forget, but her actors name is Rita I think and apparently she’s like 34 and agreed to cheat on her loving husband (who’s five’s brother) with five. this is so potent with the stench of pedophilia. this is so not okay. you can’t just be like “oh but he’s 18 so he’s legal so it’s okay!” Like NO SIR THATS NOT OKAY

apparently they waited for fives actor to be like 18 before they forced him to kiss Rita or wtv??? like…that is illegal sir? or if it’s not it should be?? Wtf??

I saw a picture of the kiss that happened between them and I started genuinely BURSTING OUT LAUGHING. and not in the “haha that’s hilarious!” Way but in the “HAHA OMFG THIS IS SO NOT FUNNY AND STUPID” way. Like. that kiss looked so uncomfortable. you can TELL that five’s actor is uncomfortable. wtf guys.

the trans guys voice got deeper!! that’s so good for him!! we love seeing representation of trans people and their journeys through transitioning (or not if they don’t choose to, but the emotional journey they partake in)!!

we’re sad abt a woman named Sloan for some reason

S1 Allison and Luther (I have no idea who they are) was uncomfortable

one of the main guys has like a kill count of the entire population of the fucking planet. Apparently his powers are like..out of control and he killed everyone?? …how….i have so many questions and i know that none will be answered

theres like five main characters and they are all apparently siblings. So i guess SOMEONE was getting dicked down good

SOMETHING ABOUT SOMEONE WITH A MONKEY BODY

theres a guy that’s a ghost..i think his power was like Painful As Fuck™️

I think there was a kraken involved at some point?

It’s giving found-family aftg vibes but also not ( nothing could ever compare to my beloved aftg)

i tHink they’re all like assassins?

There’s something about their being normal versions of them, and then Sparrow versions on them? What?

something about a mannequin and how Five really likes said mannequin

fives character was assassinated bc he would always choose his family over himself and that’s not what he did in the finale

they all end up dying in the end, no closure is given, everyone is angry, Obama has packed up his stuff and is NOT there

Yea, thats pretty much all I know

Which is..not much

I am still VERY confused the more i look at this list

Feel free to reblog this or whatever to just rage about the season 4 finale bc from what I understand it was SHIT

I was considering watching the show before but like..do i even want to at this point?

I don’t wanna fall in love with the show knowing that THIS SHIT is gonna happen

I deeply empathize with all the TUA fans. I feel so bad for y’all 😭

[lynlyndoll]

Beat your own ass

genre: fluff, kissing!!, maybe angst but not sad angst because my mind wasn't in the mood of smth sad

wc: 1.6k

pairing: frenemy! jeongin x fem! reader

appearances and specifications: okay so there are appearances of your friends so 🤷‍♀️ anyway, it's nothing out of the ordinary, just heavy kissing at some point, so if youre less than 15, I advise you to not read this.

summary: You've known Yang Jeongin since you were a kid. All of your childhood was spent on bickering with him over every single little thing. However, a few years pass and somehow, it makes you realize that... you might have a little crush on him?

an: (disclaimer for my best friend to not read this part because ANA, ISTG-) finally a longer fic. tbh, i got inspired a lot by me and my frenemy's story. lately, I found out i like him (pls-) and ... yeah 😃 I've known him for like.. a loooooot of time and it's like... OK WTF- anyway.. here it is!!

You shouldn't be here with him. You should've said pass to the truth and dare invite and keep yourself out of stupid games. But here you are, locked in a little room of the hotel room you and your friends were in for the school trip. And no, the problem wasn't about being locked in a room, the problem was about him. About Yang Jeongin, your one and only enemy. And it's not that he was your enemy. No, he wasn't. Yes, you did hate him. But no, at the same time, your feeling towards him wasn't necessarily hate. And no, none of you ever felt like you were enemies. You were more like... frenemies. You were there for each other, but at the same time you never liked each other much.

You met him in first grade, a brown eyed boy with brown locks that you did find cute. At first. Then, you don’t even remember how you started to dislike the boy. And somehow, he did too. You disliked his looks, his personality and the way his parents were never annoyed at him for getting a bad grade. You said you disliked it, but no, you envied that whatever he did in school, he wasn't upset nor cared much about his situation. He disliked the way you spoke so different from the others, the way you cared so much about school and how you always got the best grades. But soon, for him, it wasn't hate he felt, nor dislike. He still didn't understand at first, but after you had your first boyfriend, he understood what it meant. He wanted you to feel happy. He wanted you to feel cared about. And when he saw your boyfriend cheating on you, he immediately contacted you and told you about it. You didn't believe him at first, even with proof, but soon after, you saw your boyfriend kissing another girl, which broke your heart and you swore there and then that you would never be fooled like that again.

Time passed and both of you grew up with the same feelings towards each other. Until... recently, when school started.

It was a hot day in September, which was kind of normal weather for your country. You and your best friend ran in the corridors of your school in order to get the best places in the class. Jeongin got to you, stuck his tongue out and outran you.

"Fuck you, Yang Jeongin!" You swore at him.

"You wish, Y/N!" He replied, laughing, while entering the classroom. You and your bestfriend got immediately after him and ran towards the places you both decided to take. What you didn't know back then was that Jeongin was going to be in the desk exactly in front of you, which made you hiss.

"Y/Nnie... take a breath and stop thinking... I know you don't like him, but let's just live with it?" Your best friend says, smiling reassuringly.

Well, for your best friend, you'd do anything, so you nod your head, throwing a death stare to the boy smirking at you.

For the rest of the weeks, he kept bugging you. Asking you questions, taking your things, making jokes to annoy you, sitting next to you and the list goes on. You wouldn't say you didn't like it, but it was making you swear and kick his feet or slap his back. He only laughed at your attempts because he knew you liked it. You liked being teased, you liked to play mind games like these, so he kept doing it.

One day, though, while he wasn't paying attention, you looked better at him. Okay maybe not looked, but more like stared. Yes, you stared at him. He used to be the cute, annoying boy that you always liked making fun of and vice versa. But now, as you were staring at him, you realized he wasn't the same 7 year old. He grew up, got muscles and his hair had a different hairstyle. He had broad shoulders and you did find them attractive. But what made you gulp were his hands. His veiny, thick hands that made you shiver. You had a thing for hands, a thing that only your best friend knew about. And she noticed you staring, now giggling at you.

"Ay, Y/Nnie...?" She said with a smirk on her face.

"Shut it." You say, rolling your eyes. Just then, Jeongin sees you looking at him.

"What is princess?" He says cockily. "Do you see anything you like?"

"At you?" You scoff. "I was just looking at how ugly you are." You laugh, making him raise his eyebrow.

A few other days pass with you trying to still figure out what it was that you were feeling. You changed your actions towards him, he noticed, but shrugged the idea off. "Many people change, '' he said to himself one night before going to bed. But both of you knew something was up between each other. Something that neither you, as much as you tried, didn't understand and the feeling won't go away.

As years passed, you knew about your feelings towards Jeongin. You knew you liked him. To be honest, your best friend and your two other close friends knew about it too. It was obvious. Smirks doing classes, teasing, helping each other. Everything that you didn't use to do for him was changing. You tried to act indifferent, you really did. But you just couldn't.

Now, it's your last high school year and you still haven't talked to Jeongin about the tension that has been growing between you and him for the last few years. And you didn't even intend to. However, somehow, because of a stupid dare you got from your drunk friends, you ended up with Jeongin in the same room, locked up.

"Hey, do you-"

"No." You firmly said, looking anywhere else but him.

"Sorry, Miss Grumpy." He rolled his eyes.

10 minutes passed. Then another 5 and another 5. The silence was unbearable, so he moved closer to you.

"What are you doing?" You say, looking at him.

"Trying to get closer to you?" He said, smiling. Gid you loved hated that smile.

"Can you not?" You say, annoyed.

"Why?" He replies. "Why are you like this, Y/N?"

"I- I don't like anything. I'm literally me-"

"No, you're not. Look, I know you. Maybe not as good as your best friend. But for fuck's sake, I know you. I know you better than you, sometimes. And for a matter of fact, I also know that this... something about you, I mean, has changed." He sighs.

You knew what he referred to. You did change, but for him. You tried to look and act more like his ex girlfriends, you tried to not care about others and you tried to not care about yourself. Tried to act dumb and tried to dress in another way you were used to. "I... Look-"

"Y/N if this is all for some guy... I swear to God, I am going to beat his ass." He says.

"Beat your own ass." You whispered to yourself. He looked at you, not understanding what you said. "I said you wouldn't beat anyone's ass."

"Watch me." He smirks, making you laugh which makes his smirk be replaced by a smile.

Another few minutes pass in an awkward silence.

"Hey, Jeongin..." You start, the boy immediately glancing at you. "How did we become... you know. How did we become what we are now?"

He chuckles. "I don't even remember." He sighs. "But I know that I was frustrated when I was little and... I took my frustration out while mocking you."

"Me too." You say, looking at him.

"Y/N..." He starts. "Did you ever... liked someone you would've never even imagined liking? More than whatever you are with that person?"

Your eyes widen and you bite your lip, contemplating on whether you should tell him yes or no. "Yeah... I did. And I think I still do." You say, his eyes looking deep inside yours. You didn't even realize, but both of you were leaning in for a kiss.

"Hey, Jeongin..."

"Hmm..?" He murmurs.

"Are we really...?"

"Yeah." He understood immediately and before you could register what was happening, his lips were on yours. It was soft and not rushed at all, just an experimental kiss that made you both smile into it. After a few seconds, you broke the kiss.

"Should we really.."

"I waited for this too long to let it go." He said, kissing you again, this time more passionate. You returned the density of the kiss and he groaned. A few more kisses and a few more smiles happened that night. He was already on top of you, both of you agreeing to get rid of your clothes. But just as he got his shirt off, your friends unlocked the door and looked at both of you, shocked.

"AND WE CHEERED!" Your best friend says, laughing.

"Okay lovebirds, we are extremely happy you realized you like each other, but don't yall think you should keep it in your pants? Just for tonight?" Your other friend says. Jeongin smiles shyly and you swear it's the first time you see him like this. You give him a kiss on his cheek and he returns it.

"So..."

"So." You answer.

"Does that mean you're finally my girlfriend?" He smirks.

"Hm... does it?" You slyly smile while he pouts. "Yes. Yes, it does." You say, kissing his pouty lips.

taglist!!

@agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee @hyunjin-lover20

[dedmasya]

HN's lore and fandom are literally broken atm

Every time when something shitty happens with this poor franchise I had the feeling that I should write something about it. And the last AS teaser was like a spit into my face, so here you go. HN has problems, the fandom, the franchise itself. And these problems are huge. We all know that it's a some kind of a milking cow at the moment, it's already a very sad situation. People around me (with whom I hang out and they are/were in HN fandom) liked the way how story went when Nikita was around. It's obvious, that he wasn't involved in modern HN2 and projects that were created after. It may sound stupid to those people, who don't have this feeling, but you just know that he hasn't participated in development. It's like a style, handwriting. You can try to copy it, but it still will be a copy. And his style, his handwriting is nowhere. The last time I felt that HN is HN was when HN2 alpha 2 teasers were seen. I was excited, had high hopes. Felt that special vibe. But later? Nothing. Lore problems. SIGH. Every fucking interpretation of this poor game fails, contradicting each other and original canon. We have the game. The first and original resource of information, everything else should be based on it, not the opposite(!). These books are a cash grab, I have almost all of them, I've read them, but they're a cash grab literally. I can say it as a person who is writing too and who can point out that everyone is freaking OOC in them, including Theodore. And no matter how TB wants to be "an animation studio" or smth, they're GAME PUBLISHERS hiii hellooo hi??? You're supposed to publish games, they spent money on absolutely unnecessary product that can't even give them these money back, as I suppose. You all do know that Ted never freaking ever had a brother. Even the book one had SISTER, but it was just a random fact even and her existence in the lore was... Not important. Lore keeps being overwritten over and over again, it's nowhere HN already. The legacy was destroyed or smth. I won't even say anything about poor HG that had amusing potential! Are u guys really okay with this? Cuz I'm not. It feels at least disrespectful to Nikita, imho. I would be so depressed if my creation was turned into a milking cow for someone else. HN1 had a meaning, morality. It wasn't just a game for fun and giggles, it was a message, it was an art. Like a good movie, like a good book. But a good game. Maybe with bugs, yes. Maybe it wasn't 100% perfect in different aspects, but it had soul. And imho HN could be a russian gamedev savior at some point, cuz russian gamedev is half alive. And old fandom... People who are new to this franchise probably doesn't know a lot of facts, some don't even understand what was HN1 about, even if it's obvious as hell. People are not friendly to each other for some reason, despite they're a part of one community. Stop stabbing the same boat where we all in, you will drown not us, but yourself too. So we should be respectful to each other, we're the one community, no matter if we want it or not. I miss old HN. No fucking mystic, just metaphors and messages. No random flat characters, no 100 boring and unnecessary spin-offs, including a freaking cartoon. And as a conclusion HN = Nikita (and Dynamic Pixels ppl) No Nikita = No HN Text is not systematized as it should, maybe there are even grammar mistakes. But it's an emotional vent.

[blackstarchanx3new]

On a scale of 1-10 how much do you dislike the canon manga Red?

This turned into a rant lmfao.

Gotta make Red simps hate me more than they already do X'D

Like a 5 at least.

The problem mainly boils down to how I perceive him due to MY OWN PERSONAL READING OF THE TEXT.

So, the start: I'm not a fan of those types of "i'm so cute teehee" characters to begin with but for Red specifically...I just hate how inconsistent and poorly utilized he is.

He just morphs to be whatever the narrative needs him to be instead of having a real character.

He's a plot device more than a character tbh and it's why I struggled SO MUCH with figuring out a direction for him in FSR.

because...all the plot is character driven.

And I literally had no USE for a character who's soul purpose was filling in gaps when there weren't any with this cast.

His behavior isn't ever fully dived into like the other three.

I've mentioned this before: I think they cut a stand alone Red Chapter somewhere in development because the way his scene ends to where we see him later after they split up is SO WEIRD.

Funnily enough I find Dark Link and Red very similar. (Which is a huge problem but I'll get into that some other time)

Except Dark Link's inconsistencies and overall character loops back to his creation and he himself being a conflict of interest in Vaati's mind when he created Dark. he WANTED HIS Link back the only person he felt a connection to who he last had on good terms with, paired with wanting to HURT and destroy the current incarnation of Link.

making a twisted as hell individual who simultaneously embodies Link and is Link's twisted mirror image.

Naive uncertain and full of inner turmoil due to his purpose.

But when Dark REALIZES what he is to the truest extent he has to justify or crumble under the weight of his reality. There's a reason i described early Dark link as "Delusional" because he was.

Red just...doesn't have any of that kind of retrospection or intrigue in cannon.

Dark's innocence comes from his naivete but where the fuck does it come from with Red? (and it's proven to be fake anyway because he's the first one to stab someone who they think is their knight friends buuuuuut-)

Red's just canonically a contradiction with no real point and it's never pointed out in the narrative so like...it's just weird and kinda unnerving.

Like I pointed out, he literally acts like Lil Gideon before the reveal he's a crazy maniac.

Except we never GET the reveal for Red.

Red doesn't have any flaws that aren't him playing up his baby persona and fucking shit up for the others. He's just stupid af sometimes and helpful others without much rhyme or reason.

...Again I've said this before but if he was smart in areas Vio was dumb in (liKE IF THE DIRECTIONS THING WAS MORE OBVIOUSLY A CANNON THING IDK IF VIO BEING DICK WITH DIRECTIONS WAS JUST SMTH THEY ACCIDENTILY REPEATED A FEW TIMES OR A REAL INTENTIONAL TRAIT OF HIS) it could have been a fun dynamic but Vio and Red barely interact.

Honestly most of the dynamics I find myself WANTING with Red revolve around Vio...

And, imo his persona is blatantly fake from how often he just...drops it when the plot requires him to or when...idk it's just not NEEDED?

Him not shedding a TEAR when Shadow dies continues to creep me out.

because everything we know about Red tells us he should at least LOOK sat but he just...isn't.

And you can't be like "Oh but Shadow was their enemy"

bLUE GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY THIS ASSHOLE SO MANY TIMES AND HE LOOKS SAD. WHY DOESN'T RED WHO CRIES OVER KILLING ROCK MONSTERS IT'S CREEPYYYYYY.

Like no, I didn't want Red to dramatically burst into tears and ruin the moment, but dude didn't even look SAD.

Didn't look sad a dude with his face DIED.

Burned Blue's ass after JUST CRYING about him being DEAD and just WALKED AWAY.

Like if he had any depth to him this shit would be dived into but he's as shallow as a puddle and I dislike it strongly.

Like if ANY of this shit was even addressed in the manga I'd like him WAY MORE.

but it feels UNINENTIONAL which is the issue I have with Red as a character.

Long as hell walk to say:

I don't wanna spoil stuff but I do think you could have fresh ideas with Red being VERY DIFFRENT from link but my main issue with him in the actual cannon manga is:

He doesn't feel realistically like a part of Link due to my interpretation of the text and it's storytelling, and the WAY the text WANTS portrays him doesn't line up with his actions, and I don't like it.

[no-shxme]

Question if you could rework Talon how would you do it? Like, if you have complete and total control of the character, can change things as far as the beginning or just progress his story. You can do whatever.

What would you do?

OKAY so i actually typed out a long ass response but then it got deleted so this makes me very sad faklsdjkljsfd but im gonna try and repeat myself. Disclaimer ofc this is going to be very long and its also just my personal opinion. No hate if anyone’s ideal talon is different.

So i can divide the changes i would make into like, 3 categories.

Core design

In game

Lore

I’ll go ahead and put it below the cut bc i know its gonna be so long (sob)

CORE DESIGN:

Okay im pretty sure i’ve said smth similar before but i cant remember. Basically i think talon’s core design fantasy conflicts with his design to an egregious degree. Riot’s goal is supposed to be to make the champ design fit the fantasy, but we’re supposed to believe he’s this cutthroat, efficient, STEALTHY assassin, who can kill with no mercy and climb all over the map and yet he’s got this jingle-jangle cape and also a hokey, non-retractable armblade. (this pisses me off bc zed has a retractable blade. So they DO exist.) also wild rift pissed me off bc when they redid their design of him they didn’t fix any of the issues and in fact made the armblade worse. How is he supposed to climb? It fundamentally conflicts with what he’s supposed to be. Get rid of both of them both. banished.

Granted, both of these things make his design more unique, but i dont think talon needs them. In fact their existence makes his own thematic design worse, as someone who’s supposed to blend in, supposed to hide in a crowd and be a nobody. He’s supposed to have a generic design. Maybe they can fuck with his cape a lil bit, but he doesn’t need to have this super notable look to him. Look at akshan. He’s just a shirtless dude (in a repurposed sol uniform) but he wears it well fr. 

As a side note: talon’s design in ‘the name of the blade’ is pretty good as a starting off point but it still has the stupid cape.

To be clear they will never change this i think. Talon’s armblade and cape are too ingrained in his old design so they’ll never be fixed, and this problem with it not matching his fantasy will only get worse over time.

Also i think base leblanc also looks ridiculous and is in the same boat.

IN GAME:

A new model + animations ofc! Hood toggle, + extra animation variants when vaulting over stuff. (over thin walls, thick walls, and side hops.) an idle knife flip. (oh and new splasharts ofc.) a new voice!! My current problem with the voice is that imo he sounds too old and deep, and also he suffers from being old (i hc him as between 23-25) and having few lines. Tbh i think talon would rock a raspy transmasc voice, or at least a raspy voice, prone to cracking bc he’s not super talkative.

random voice line ideas

New interactions with katarina, swain prolly, sett (as a treat) and ezreal. etc.

New joke response: “i dont get it” or “you talk too much.”

New taunt response: “be quiet.”

“Leave me alone” or “you’re annoying” after killing someone.

“I can climb that” when seeing sett or other eligible champs, both masc and fem. bisexual energy.

Lots of vocalizations. “Hah,” hrmphs, occasional “hm.”

A focus on shorter, more straightforward sentences as opposed to long wordy ones.

he will trigger more voicelines when by himself (for eg: in the jg) as opposed to around other champions. (yes im dreaming big.)

as an 'away from people or in the jg' voiceline: whistling. not like a tune or anything, just a few notes.

LORE:

Okay this is the really big one. I’m just gonna go all over the place.

Step 1: make him aro. MAKE HIM ARO. it doesn't need to be a big reveal or anything. Actually it’d be better if all of talon’s lore was lowkey. It can just be smth mentioned or implied on the side, but canon nonetheless. I hc him as bi too but the aro is way more important to me. WHILE WE'RE AT IT. riot please release an aromantic pride icon pls. every year i foolishly hope.

Step 2: i’d also make him trans. This isn’t a hard need for me but it makes his story/character stronger. Also i think its great to have open lgbt rep but i would like rep for people who are stealth too. Talon would be that. He likes to blend in, he likes to be unknown and invisible, he doesn’t want too much attention and he wants to be perfect. It’s pretty on the nose. I know people would be mad bc like, noo he wasn’t trans before, but i just dont care. My ideal talon is trans or at least gnc/nb-coded if amab. Also while we’re at it i’d also either give him autism with my autism ray-gun, or i’d just make him autism-coded. It just fits him. I think he realistically has anxiety and prolly some other personality disorder, if not a touch of tism.

Step 3: make the timeline of events around when he was adopted all the way to the kat comic more definite. Like how old was he when he was ‘adopted?’ (imo at least 13 but i can explain in a not already super long post pfpfpf). Retcon some of the kat comic. I think the most annoying part of it is how much he talks. I think riot thinks he’s like, a boring character, but he’s not. He’s just a NUANCED character. There are many different assassins in league that fit specific niches. (zed is evil shadow ninja assassin, akali is rogue wildcard assassin, pyke is the crazed executioner, yone is righteous, fizz is silly, katarina is proud and showy.) talon is already supposed to fit the most typical ‘assassin niche.’ like assassins creeds. Just let him be that. You don’t have to make him talk a ton, just amplify what’s already there. He’s a perfectionist, he does things in the most efficient way, he’s got layers and abandonment issues, and i think something that’s overlooked by riot is how he’s prolly a victim of manipulation and abuse. In fact i’d make that very clear, even by revealing that talon can’t read. That would already mean smth is up.

In terms of the kat comic: Cut out the whole part where talon monologues like an idiot at the end. While we’re at it, have kat kill the king, not that other guy. I think its a more interesting tie in and adds more character conflict. I actually hate how ‘good’ katarina was in the comic like she can afford to have more awfulness and then visibly grow out of it. Idc. continuing, i’d make it so that talon really thought marcus left, and then marcus returns just before the kat comic events and manipulates talon into trying to kill her. Idk this makes so much more sense to me i dont know why they had talon know about it the whole time, as if it didn’t kill his entire story that we’d been following for years. Like it was such an easy change to still respect what story he already had??? IT MAKES ME MAD. It also allows talon to have more obvious conflict with killing kat, bc their sibling connection improves in marcus' absence.

ALSO i like his scar in the kat comic but i’d like it differently instead of straight down. I feel like eye scars are pretty like, they all look the same yk. Can we vary it up or maybe give him a few more. He’s so pretty in the kat comic but he deserves more scars.

Also, in his high noon story i would not have fucking talon dish out the expository dialogue again. I love that story but it makes me mad how he just word vomits this whole story. Just put that shit at the beginning and leave him out of it. Or maybe find some way to explain that doesn’t involve clumsy paragraphs of expository dialogue. Sorry, no hate to the author but i think a character reciting a whole fable to someone is amateurish, lazy, and a disservice to his character. I would also make him and Yone the protagonists of high noon gothic as an au. Ive been meaning to make a post about it but they parallel each other very nicely. A demon going holy and a good man going hellish.

If i could i would legit canon-ship him with sett or with akshan. But thats ofc very indulgent and relies on setup.

uhhh extra bits that im thinking of:

retcon the going to shurima after failing to kill kat bit. i want him to fester. i would rather him be totally lost for a second and observe the wreckage of his lost family.

imo he never meets cass or soreana, because he enters the family in his teens when they're both already in shurima.

i think a really cool way to deliver talon's lore would be via other champ lore that happens to have him in it. with a consistent voice you'd be able to piece him together while still maintaining the theme of him being on the outside, lowkey.

OH I'D CHANGE HIS ICON BTW. his character icon doesn't look like him. dear god. dark brown hair pls, amber eyes. let it be so.

if i could i would strengthen the anarchistic themes he has going on in his skin lines. yeah let him go apeshit why not. let him be a thorn. let him break apart.

im pretty sure he's canonically short (looked the same size as kat in the comic) but if not. he is now. sorry bud.

oh as a final note. right now his parents are just Gone. but i would make sure that they abandoned him. its the strongest way to cause him to attach to marcus.

there's probably more but i really can't remember rn and its already so long. my god. thanks for this ask tho it was very fun to answer omg. if i ever become a famous author id beg riot to let me write smth for him. a novella or smth like garen first strike.

and ofc to reiterate, these are just my opinions. people can have their own versions of talon for sure, its all ok!

[coffeebanana]

can we see a bit of ladynoir *wink wink*? ;);)

XD ok well you definitely know about this one but uh. it's meant for the ladynoir july prompt entangled. and all i have written so far is a bit from the first scene which is like ladynoir banter and them playfully talking about physics. and that is NOT representative of the fic as a whole because it's SUPPOSED to be eventually turn into angsty smut (hence the wink wink kssjdfbkjd) and uh. smth smth post-HM adrien has the big sad and ladybug doesn't know what's UP with her boyfriend.

but here's a little snippet of them being cute!!

“I mean, it would be nice if that were true for us," Ladybug said. "Like, if I knew you were safe during Akuma fights just because I was.” “Well, that’s not what I—“ “But I suppose if we’re talking about actual particles then the states are more like spin up and spin down, right?” “Or maybe polarization if it’s photons, but—“ “So, what? If I yo-yoed to the other side of the city and pointed a finger up, you’d do the same? Or you’d do the opposite?” “Well, no! That’s ridic—“ “Then I guess we’re not really like entangled particles, are we?”  Having finished her bit, she glanced over, smirking. Expecting to see her own glee reflected right back. Because this was what they did on nights like this, where the city was quiet and they had nothing but time with each other, time that felt infinite if she closed her eyes and forgot about the rest of the world. But instead Chat’s car ears drooped and he quickly averted his eyes.“Never mind. I guess it was stupid.” “What? No!” She sat up, twisting around to try and catch his eye. “I was only teasing, I swear. I didn’t realize…I didn’t mean to make fun of something you find important.” He shrugged, still refusing to look at her. “It’s not important.” “Chaton…” He was silent long enough she wasn't sure he'd respond, but just as she was about to give up hope his voice spun sugar through the air. “I thought it would be nice, that’s all. To think that no matter what, no matter where we are or what we’re doing…that some part of us is still connected. Like…some part is still the same. Or maybe opposites, like we balance each other out no matter what.” He sighed. “I just thought it sounded nice.”

thanks for the ask!! 💜

[little-cereal-draws]

Major Shadow and Bone season two spoilers

OK BUT WHAT WAS THE REASON???? WHAT WAS THE REASON??? WHY DID DAVID DO THAT??????? IT WAS SO UNNECESSARY!! SOBBING

ok and now that i've got that out of my system, I actually do problems with how his death was treated.

It felt so... unnecessary. Putting aside my love for David, it felt so weird from an in-story point of view. I genuinely don't know why he did that. There was enough room for them both in the elevator and what on earth was he supposed to do against a being made of shadow? There was no tension of "what's going to happen to David" bc there was no way for him to win. I think he was supposed to be sacrificing himself so Genya could escape and be safe but honestly if he wanted to protect her, it would be better to live. He could seal doors to keep monsters out, he was studying how these creatures work at the beginning of the season so maybe he knew a secret weakness or smth, or at the very least they have a better chance of surviving if they stick together.

Locking her in an elevator is so stupid too bc he could have been dooming her. What if the elevator got stuck/broken and she couldn't get out? She would have suffocated or starved. What if a monster got in and she was boxed in? Literally no way for her to escape. Like it was such a stupid decision. Luckily neither of those happened but they very easily could have. (And then the fact that we don't see where the elevator goes or her getting out bothers me but that's not what this post is about.)

And this next thing may be a moot point bc the last two episodes were so busy and I'm not quite sure how to fit them in, but I wish we got to see at least a little bit of David fighting the monster. I know I said before there was no way for him to win but I at least want to see him try. I want to see David, a shy, introvert who has never been anywhere near the front lines, fight with everything he has to get back to Genya. He has no training, no idea what to do, nothing but the idea that he needs to get back to her. His death was already sad but this really would have pushed it to a new level. The way they had it, I already knew he was going to die bc the odds were so against him. But if they showed him trying to fight, it would have given the viewer a bit of hope and make it that much worse when he loses.

The last shot that we see of him is him standing in front of the elevator looking determinedly at the monster while Genya screams for him. I'll be honest, I actually did have a bit of hope for him here. We just saw this Durast saint in Shu Han kick everybody's asses; all these expert soldiers and criminals that we've seen win over and over, and she did it like it was nothing. And Jesper even had a very minor arc abt using his powers more and in more unconventional ways and I was hoping to see it reflected in David. We know he's an amazing Durast, one of the best ones in Ravka, and unlike Jesper he actually has training and knows how to use his powers. We last saw him standing in a workshop, surrounded by tools and materials that he knows how to use, and I was really hoping that he would figure out a way to use them in battle. Idk if he could actually hurt the monster but it would still be so cool and develop his character in a way we haven't seen before. Or at least he could make a flash bomb or smth like the ones Wylan uses and escape. But nope. I put too much faith in the writers to think they would do that.

Lastly, his death didn't advance the plot in anyway. If they wanted it to develop Genya, I really don't think it was the right choice. Over the course of this season, she's been mutilated, disabled, kept as a prisoner, thought she lost the love of her life, and confronted her abusers. She has already been so developed so much since season one, adding David's death doesn't really do anything. I think they did it just for shock value. And the way it was written didn't really make sense either? She's upset when she can't find him after the battle, she's upset when she finds the ruby in his coat, and then the next time we see her she's fine? She's laughing and smiling and hanging out with her friends. And I'm not saying that ppl who are grieving can't do those things, but it was just such an extreme 180 that happened so quickly, both in the episode's run time and the in-show timeline, that it felt jarring and like she didn't care anymore. And this is not hate on the actress ofc, she was amazing this season.

Idk I just think they handled David's death very poorly. But we didn't see his body so maybe he's still alive. I hope so, I love him so much.

[shkika]

Having trouble with thinking of something to ask hrmm

What part of the rw lore do you find most interesting? Like..what are your thoughts on it? any twists you've thought up or any detail/s you just wanna rant abt?

The rainworld lore is painfully a lot and painfully little at the same time, like why are the pearls focused on garbage worms and what is noise milking oh my goddd

moon isnt lore on her own but her pearl readings are a massive source of it. so if i had to say my favorite thing would be iterators and the relationship they had with their colonies. the fact they can vary and the fact iterators have different opinions of their parents!! (one iterator talked abt havjng to sit through dark political times awkwardly like 🧍🤷 at some points. thats funny)

ahem I looove it a lot!! for example the way moon worded her existence is sad. the way she speaks about them is sad. like in short “ancients must not try very hard so we do that for them. at least i did” <- smth along the lines

she sounds bitter she dislikes them with a hidden passion even when she has 5 braincells left. Not to mention she calls them parasites with bad takes (sheesh). something people dont really ?? recognize enough or at all imo is that moon almost retired (ancients moving away from her city) and she was happy about it. Until it didnt work out and some stayed and she was pissed again.

now pebbles speaks with softness (as much as he has it in him) he liked them! he liked their art! their music! he liked witnessing their stupid arguments even when they were in his name (he found the citadel he shaded funny for being so angry)

he found a lot of things they did stupid but he also was impressed in other aspects! he liked them a lot to the point the last item that he keeps for comfort and keeps him together as a whole is a hymn of theirs. even when abandoned, he finds comfort in the company they used to bring him!!! how sad!!

Another part of the lore. Hm cycles.

I have no idea how they work. Youd believe at first that when you die. You get reborn. Pain!!! never escaping!!

But that cant be the case it has sooo many plotholes if thats the case.

1 artificers kids died! straight up GONE. theyre dead!! thats why shes so insane you cant tell me theyre just lost somewhere and also pups cant ascend (me when i reach spiritual enlightenment at 10). theyre straight up gone.

2. imagine u defeat the scav kind and he comes back an hour later.. nah. thjngs DIE

3 why did the ancients go crazy over killing themselves then idk!

4 suns was basically crying about how they dont know what theyll do if spearmaster dies. yeah no respawning then.

So then the cycle is being reborn into smth new. great. how does karma play in this. how do you raise it. time? do you have your old memories after u go into a new cycle?? i dont know!! no scug has ever been plagued with dreams of being smth else before. !!! how do you confirm its a thing!! idk!! how do you know you are in a samsara! i wish we got ancients talking about it. in pearls or smth.

i havent ascended with saint yet. (reached karma 10 and bonked the siblings) but i doubt they answer all of my questions

random kiki rw lore fact- did you know that the rot area - (riv gameplay) there is a room in it thats just called terror!!! it upsets me greatly. the place is so different because the rot literally eats his walls. it fucks me up sometimes even if it seems obvious

[pekodayz]

🌟😍💋💐💕☕️

offic- *gunshot* all of these will be that thx u.....

🌟: Who’s the tease in the relationship?

neither. theres something about them that makes it hard to make sexual remarks. oso calls aini flat in front of 5 ppl, aini makes fun of his boner at work in front of them too. they both start awkwardly laughing. scratching their arm. whole office laughs at them. oaky.. aini takes her break, oso follows. they start blaming each other on who fucked up the hardest, that was so embarrassing for them. ig when theyre drunk, oso would prob feel aini, just a bit. they agree on 5 secs, he touches her thigh, she touches his thigh. they get red and stop, busting out laugh and screaming. they walk home in shame.

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

aini likes that oso is taller than her (4-5 inches), so she can stand behind him when they get caught skipping work, so he can get the blame. ough. ok she likes it when he puts his chin on her shoulder while she's staring at her computer. dead eyes. shes not gonna make it obv. nagging her to work faster, bugging her to help him with smth, can u print this out for me, im tired. yeah yeah. aini also likes it when oso uh persuades her to skip work, she enjoys being out with him for a day (even if that means not going to work, she doesnt care...she likes the company. secretly) aini likes that oso's color is red, bc she likes red too. they were like omg coincidence, pointing at each other uwahhh omggeee. then they argue on who owns it. whomp whomp.

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

they haven't kissed on the lips oughh. oso only kissed aini's forehead when she was sobbing for some reason and they were hugging. uh. even that almost killed them both. aini kissed oso's cheek once, as a joke. tsundere mode activated ew. i think aini had a fav spot, it would be her neck. oso would love aini kissing him just anywhere. thats not happening tho for either of them....unless theyre like drunk. super duper duper duper rare moment maybe. then they freak out. cooties. ewwww. then theyll prob be like...okay one more...looking stupid. shaking and sweating (fear), then they pass out.

💐: How did you two meet?

answered here :3

💕: Who’s the clingier one in the relationship?

both of them. cuddle when theyre on the train. (none of their coworkers can see them)uh aini lays her head on oso's lap sometimes....he strokes her hair or smth ugh. (they think this is what close friends do. to cope) aini has oso come over, they cuddle there, privately. ew......theyre arguing tho, so its okay. balances it out.

☕: How do you comfort each other on a bad day?

when aini is like super sad, oso can tell. since shes putting up a fake smug front. shes sulking all day at work aw. then when theyre walking out together, she cant rly look at him in the eye. trying to not cry like a baby to him. shes choking up sobs.. then she does. slams her face into his chest and muffle cries. he just holds her as she sobs and he says somethings to her.. big brother instincts isuppose. aini gets all weak mode and holds his hand, sniffling and stuff.

aini sees oso is dif. she knows he doesnt really like to talk abt his feelings, so she just has some mutual understanding with him. he knows. he doesnt snap around her, they go out for drinks. she doesnt insult him at all, he feels better eventually. he'll tell her some other time...

[chocobox]

i think if you like something you should not use it to justify hatred and negativity bc it will make u feel bad. ace attorney is smth i wanna step away from for a while bc i got so heated over ppl disagreeing with or being rude to me and hetalia has been a good detox cuz it doesn't matter. it's hetalia. i pulled these toys out of the dumpster. i'm having fun doing what i like and i'm not better than anyone else. but, at risk of sounding superior, i do think people should realize that all of this petty shit they get into is meaningless. it just makes me sad to see how insecure everyone is to the point that they get trapped in this hypocrisy of 'do whatever you want because policing other people is bad, and don't disagree with my specific interpretations or i will shatter like glass' fuck man who cares. being an england self shipper who makes a million stupid zero note posts a day feels so much more fulfilling than any 100+ note discourse post about how correct my media opinions are ever could. breathe

[jakowskis]

Loved ‘an ugly picture, you & me’ so so much. Srsly I read it like 10 times and still won’t get tired of it. It’s such a great piece of writing. Now my question: Do you already if ur gonna post more Torchwood fanfic?? (no pressure obv, writing is so so hard and I admire everyone who actually manages to finish their stories).

oh my goodness thank you so much 🥺 that means the world to me im so glad you liked it so much

man ok so. heres the thing. djkfds aaa idek how to talk abt this it makes me feel stupid fdshkfj. basically i have dx'd ocd and it affects my writing process a Lot. im exceptionally critical n perfectionistic when it comes to my writing, and when my ocd's at its worse, i can reread things literally hundreds of times. this makes my editing process a fucking nightmare. an ugly picture was... a Journey, i wrote the bulk of it in like a month or two bc i was Inspired, and that period of inspiration just flowing was super nice - but then i spent literally half a year obsessing over editing and figuring out a few sections i couldnt get to work and it was. rlly rlly unhealthy and messy. like that was a stereotypical Mentally Ill Artist™ moment for me 😭 i was unmedicated during that process and honestly im still impressed with myself for managing to finish and post it anyway.

and after posting it... this might not make sense unless u have ocd but that fic is, like, tainted in my head, and im not allowed to touch it as a result. which is RLLY fucking annoying and sad bc i wrote it for Me and it was a labor of love yanno, and i am proud of it, like during writing i was like 'man this is one of the best things ive written, im genuinely proud of this' and ive gotten some absolutely wonderful reception - but i cant exactly place why, idk if it was the torment of the editing process or a fear of experiencing that specific brand of anxiety again (if i reread it and run into errors it might kill me 😭)... either way at this point in time im legitimately unable to revisit that fic. and its been like this since i posted it, so... for nearly five months ;-; and im kind of having a similar experience with torchwood as a whole tbh. like my whole fandom experience + relationship with this fixation has been bastardized to all hell bc of ocd issues. it all feels very... dirty right now.

which fucking sucks, cuz torchwood's one of my fav fixations ive ever had, it became so important to me so fast and it's probably hit special interest territory at this point - but it sucks what a thin line it is between obsessing over a hyperfixation, and compulsively engaging with something. it sucks when the serotonin u get from smth also gets laced with pervasive anxiety. my recent main issue with ocd has been avoidance - i went from obsessively going thru torchwood clips to being unable to watch it at all bc the very thought of doing so makes me so anxious.

(so, tldr? my mental illness garbage is interfering w my interests and my ability to engage with fandom, to my chagrin, and that's why i haven't posted anything else.)

that being said: between april 2023 and now i have written 180k words of torchwood fanfic. im endlessly fascinated and inspired by these characters, particularly by owen who has lowkey proven to be my muse lol. (he sits in my mind palace on top of a, like, literal fancy ass corinthian pedestal and his one job is to sit still n look pretty and sad but instead he snarks down at me every time i walk passed and in return i squirt a water gun at him and occasionally throw tomatoes at him. it's a very mutually loving relationship.) and 180k words in, and literally hundreds of hours spent thinking about and talking about tw/owen, and im still fascinated by it/him, there are still soooo many things i wanna explore through writing with these characters that i adore so much. 57k of the 180k words is part of what will eventually be a sequel series to an ugly picture (which is meant to be a stand-alone, for the record, but towards the end of the writing process i went "Hm. Actually I Have More Ideas", and it became a whole 'verse heh). problem is i dont rmr the fic enough to continue the first sequel and currently i cant revisit it and take notes 🤡 so that project's on hold. as for the other stuff, it's a good mix of misc one-shots and full-on projects, and several things are pretty much done and could, if i were anyone else, easily be polished and posted.

but, as ive made clear, unfortunately writing (well, revising + editing) is an absolute nightmare for me. now, im recently back on medication after nearly two years of rawdogging it, and ive been having issues with that fff (namely constant pervasive exhaustion) - but im working to figure out a happy medium, so im HOPING, hell, praying, that once i level out ill be able to open my docs and sit down and finish things without it being a goddamn ordeal. editing's not rlly fun for anyone, but it fucking sucks when your absolute favorite hobby + mode of expression gets terrorized by a wiggity wack disorder.

first order of business, once im able, is a 15k owen/andy fic that's literally 90% done. i wanted to post it in june, for pride month, and then my brain decided to convince me i wasnt being coherent in the slightest and i was like, nah, i cannot make myself soldier through the editing project this time, i dont want this to get ruined the same way. but hopefully soon i can drop that and it will be epic and such 😎

so in summation uh (sorry im a known babbler fdshk but this is what happens when u send an ask to someone who wrote a 30k fic where literally nothing happens KJFSD. also sorry for literally trauma dumping unprompted 😭 i did the white woman in the kmart thing) ive written a ton of torchwood fic and i 100% intend to write a ton more but mental illness garbage is trying to sabotage shit so basically im taking a break from trying to post any of it until my brain lets me enjoy my damn interest in relative peace 👍but i definitely have a lot more fic on the way. just might take a while for it to see the light of day. hopefully not that long

anyway thank you again so so so much for liking the fic enough to read it multiple times that means so much to meee. i hope to have more for u soon :))