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pennyblossom-meta · 7 months ago

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L Lawliet: a deep dive into the expanded universe pt.01

EDIT (07/04/2024): Added some imgs.

Apologies for being so late to give this a follow up to @maevearcher's meta which can be found here and here. As usual, she’s made excellent points and I'll try to answer the ones which caught my eye.

Since this post ended up gaining a life of its own and becoming a bit too long, I’m splitting it in 2 or 3 parts. The core of the content for part 01 starts after under the button to Read More.

Here we talk about L's humanity.

I'll start with a disclaimer of my own: while I consider the manga as the base for the story, I'm very much open to the expanded DN universe as a complementary study of the characters and their motivations — sometimes even filling in the blanks for some of the background mysteries, such as the dynamics of Wammy's House and how L's successors view him.

To further clarify: by canon I mean the manga and any works by Tsugumi Ohba as the base material. I think @maevearcher and I are more or less in agreement on that, from what she mentioned in her own posts. As she said, the written word is indeed the baseline truth.

The expansion of the DN universe also has its own very special set of problems; for example, in many ways, L:CtW (L: Change the WorLd) commits the sin of overindulgence by throwing in considerations that, arguably, go against canon. Besides the ending where L lives for a final 23 days and Watari dies, the portrayal of Near in the movie (though in the novel he's also walking a fine line between becoming partially and very much OOC) is also a point of contention. I confess that I really wasn't fond of the way they portrayed Misa as a potential crush of L given canon insights on his opinion about Light whether in the role of Kira or as a person (pg.64 of Vol 13: How to Read, henceforth referred to as V13:HTR), but aligning L to become more humane and forgiving was at least interesting.

The same happens with the live action movies, the 2015 series, and the musical. At least the game Spiraling Trap isn't clashing with canon elements — that I could tell. The main plot is separate from the events of DN and the dating sim is a little slice of heaven into L's thoughts and emotions which I dearly love.

However, while L:CtW does indeed overindulge, the novel AN:LABB (Another Note: LA BB Murder Cases) gives us a singular glimpse into L through the eyes of Mello while keeping the events mostly accurate to the main plot, even with its slight deviations. It's certainly an optional perspective to the core of DN, but one that I always found very insightful. In V13:HTR, Obha mentions how he would’ve liked that there were more novels about L and how he solved previous cases, in a similar fashion to how Nisio Isin approaches AN:LABB. Here’s what Ohba says in pg.61 of V13:HTR:

(...) I didn’t think up much for [L’s] past. For him to be in such an influential position, he must have solved an amazing amount of cases, but I have no idea what kind of cases they were or how he solved them. But I would love for NISIOISIN, who wrote the Death Note novel, to write more stories about that (...)

This means that, to some extent, even the original author, Ohba, accepts AN:LABB as close to canon — or rather, as canon as it can get given the creative liberties allowed to a third party writer. To that point, Nisio Isin took L’s capoeira demonstration during the Yotsuba arc and made it a whole thing in the novel, with L taking inspiration from Naomi Misora’s skills. However, given the importance of that event, in the main story, L takes a while to even remember Misora so we can infer that either the stress of the case is getting to him OR learning capoeira and subsequently Misora’s role in it didn’t leave that much of an imprint on him because true canon didn’t really put that much emphasis into it. Either way, it’s an extrapolation that works. The technicalities can be overlooked given how ambiguous the scene is, as there is more than room to deduce a different past.

At the same time, I am an apologist that there are shared characteristics to L throughout the different mediums. My own interpretation of L's character has the manga as a baseline, but the expanded universe has taught me that there are sides to him that might not be so easy to perceive in dialogue bubbles or illustrations alone. Little things like L's addictive personality or the way he represses feelings are visible in the manga but caught beautifully in the novels, for example.

Going from the written word into the screen also represents a loss of the purity achievable only within the narrative in-book, where you can extrapolate and reach your own conclusions without being subject to the bias of sound and movement — though manga aggregates the visual to words and with it an altogether different dimension of meaning. That's one of the many things I enjoy about elements of fiction introduced through books; the stillness of the images and the narrative are more complex. Every time the baseline gets adapted, it loses something or that something shifts to fit into the perception of others. It ceases being pure and its essence is fundamentally shattered. Like the concept of a musical score on paper that gets played by an orchestra, there will never be an adaptation as good as the source material because it breaks the illusion.

While I can certainly extrapolate and accept the loss, I find that the written word from the novels, the tone of a VA's voice and the body movements in a live action still complement the manga well, despite narrative clashes.

About L’s humanity

Recently I've been re-watching the anime and it's incredible how Alessandro Juliani's understanding of the character resulted in such a well-rounded voice for L. I actually prefer the EN version to the JP because of the voice acting. It's superbly brilliant, even if L becomes less listless. He's certainly still aloof, but his aggressiveness is portrayed more vividly; in contrast, L in the manga feels a bit more dangerous and scary to me due to the range of expressions that the anime didn't manage to add in due to time and budget constraints. If anything L tones down how dangerous he can be. He does this on purpose so that he can trick and trip his adversary, as can be seen during his earlier interactions with Light. At times, L makes a mockery of himself, apparently placing himself in the position of a more demure individual while sharply observing the world around him and forming conclusions.

As to @maevearcher ‘s first point:

(...) An image of this lonely autistic genius, locked inside the confines of his ways, waiting for the right person to come along and save him from the banes of his solitary existence…until he meets Light and realises there’s someone out there who he can relate to, for understanding and stuff. I personally don’t buy too much into that.

The depth to which L relates to Light can be overestimated, but not without reason. Theirs is mostly an adversarial relationship with varying deviations throughout the expanded universe, but if we solely consider the manga then we get this comment from Ohba regarding whether L has any friends on pg.64 of V13: HTR:

Nope. And when he says that Light is his first friend that’s a big lie. He never considers him a friend. He probably secretly thinks really negative things about him.

During the Yotsuba arc, L is at a disadvantage. Light has turned the tables, tricked him into what Beyond Birthday could not do and thus gained a solid position into rendering L almost powerless to charge him. To elaborate on the latter point: BB wanted to create the perfect, unsolvable crime to humiliate L, making him lose, and thus “spend the rest of his life trembling in fear of B’s shadow” (pg.163, AA:LABB); L would know who the guilty party was but wouldn’t be able to prove it or bring that person to justice. As such, L would not be able to solve the mystery. At the end of the novel BB fails due to Misora’s quick thinking and that’s that. However, Light has several advantages that BB lacked, starting with his own social position, charm and the impeccable reputation of a model student and the prized son of a police chief who helps solve cases every now and then.

We can argue that, what truly happens in manga canon, is L and Light showing how much they respect each other for their detective skills, forming a sort of strange kinship within the cat and mouse game, especially when Light loses his memories of the Death Note. The game thrills them and they enjoy pushing each other’s buttons. No one else has ever challenged them like this. That being said, the first time they meet up for coffee after the tennis match, L is observing Light like a hawk, keeps testing him for a reaction and seems somewhat irritated at how much Light talks. I would venture a guess that L doesn’t actually like Light that much, even when he loses his memories. He might even find Light a nuisance when he waves the flag of morality — though this is a common problem L is confronted with when dealing with the Task Force, in particular Chief Yagami and Aizawa. This also places him at another gruesome disadvantage, as he’s surrounded by people who openly dislike and criticise his methods. The Task Force is also extremely wary of the way L pursues Light and think he’s being stubborn without proof to substantiate his reasoning. Ironically, it’s Aizawa, one of L’s most critical subordinates, who initiates Light’s downfall years later once he starts to consider L’s suspicions in light of Near and Mello’s tactics.

Both L and Light respect the game, no matter where it takes them. I would further make an educated guess that Light even preyed on L’s vulnerabilities during the Yotsuba arc, predicting how L might fall into depression for failing at the game. Light was more than capable of understanding that L’s competitive and childish side would make him a sore loser, especially given that he had already “lost” the first round of battles just by showing his face. Even if there is a sliver of friendship between both during Light’s months of amnesia, it’s dead and buried the moment he becomes Kira again.

My conclusion here would be that, while what happened with Light was extreme, it was also somewhat similar to Beyond Birthday’s eternal enmity towards L: the challenge, the need to humiliate and take down the greatest detective, one of the most brilliant minds to ever walk the Earth. There are some notable quotes from AA:LABB that reference what it is to be L, surrounded by future challengers and individuals who both look up to L and want to prove they’re better than him:

Pg.69

By simple arithmetic, L's ability in 2002 was the equivalent of five ordinary investigative bureaus, and seven intelligence agencies (and by the time he faced off against Kira, those numbers had leapt upward several more notches). This is easy to think of as a reason to respect and admire someone, but let me say this as clearly as possible: that much ability in one human is extremely dangerous. Modern danger management techniques rely heavily on diffusing the risk, but his very existence was the exact opposite. In other words, if someone was planning to commit a crime, they could greatly increase their chances of getting away with it by simply killing L before they began. That was why L hid his identity Not because he was shy or because he never left the house. To ensure his own safety For a detective of L's ability, self-preservation and the preservation of world peace were one and the same, and it would not be correct to describe his actions as cowardly or self-centered.

Pg. 117

L was the goal of everyone in Wammy's House. Everyone of us wanted to surpass him. To step over him. To step on him. M did, N did, and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal.

Pg. 160:

B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki - L.L. For anyone from Wammy's House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter - and Beyond Birthday seized this case as his chance.

One of the biggest problems with these quotes is that they paint a very complicated — and, ultimately, suffocating — picture of what it is like to be L. Ohba himself mentions Watari’s predisposition towards collecting geniuses from all over the world and what Wammy’s House has turned into, under the snippet for Watari’s character (pg.60 V13:HTR):

He’s a guy who cultivates detectives for fun. That’s kind of terrible, isn’t it?

Everyone profits from L. Watari becomes richer than ever. Wammy's House becomes breeding ground for geniuses who end up dreaming of a life where they enjoy constant thrill and challenge. However, in order to do so, the dream cannot be complete until the successor crushes the original; until M, N, B and A defeat L. At least one of L’s successors couldn’t handle the pressure and committed suicide. B, known as Backup, runs away from the orphanage and goes on a murder rampage. Having never met L in person, he deduces several personality quirks that the “original” demonstrates, going as far as exacerbating them in order to be creepy and repulsive. Mello, who boasts of having met L in person and being privy to stories about how he defeated several other detectives (then taking their aliases as a trophy) both fervently admires L and wants to step on him.

Step on him. That’s quite the turn of phrase. It does sound scary, doesn’t it? To be surrounded by people who would take the opportunity to pull you down, no matter how much they admire you. They want to be you, to prove that they’re better than you. It’s game and ego. Life and death. Winner and loser.

And that’s perhaps the most blatant summary in approved canon of what it is like to be L that we’ll ever get. We can, of course, argue that Watari cares about L. He’s not only his handler, but also the one who brought him into Wammy’s House. It’s fairly clear that he nurtured (and even enabled) some of L’s most distressing character traits, though I wouldn’t necessarily say it was with a purely utilitarian agenda. It’s perfectly acceptable to extrapolate how Watari might’ve wanted to keep L, a child of great intellectual genius, happy by allowing him to be challenged and properly educated. In fact, AN:LABB (pg. 145-46) even gives us L’s perspective on the kindness that justice can achieve, which is confirmed within the expanded universe to be similar to Watari’s teachings as L confronts Kujo in L:CtW.

"I have nothing to do with him," L said. "To be completely accurate, I do not even know B. He is simply someone I am aware of. But none of this affects my judgment. Certainly I was interested in this case, and began to investigate it because I knew who the killer was. But that did not alter the way I investigated it, or the manner in which my investigation proceeded. Naomi Misora, I cannot overlook evil. I cannot forgive it. It does not matter if I know the person who commits evil or not. I am only interested in justice." "Only... in justice... " Misora gasped. "Then ... nothing else matters?" "I wouldn't say that, but it is not a priority." “You won't forgive any evil, no matter what the evil is?" "I wouldn't say that, but it is not a priority." "'But..." Like a thirteen-year-old victim. "There are people who justice cannot save." Like a thirteen-year-old criminal. “And there are people who evil can save." "There are. But even so," L said, his tone not changing at all. As if gently admonishing Naomi Misora. “Justice has more power than anything else." "Power? By power ... you mean strength?" "No. I mean kindness." He said it so easily. Misora almost dropped the phone. L The century's greatest detective, L. The detective of justice, L. Who solved every case, no matter how difficult... " ...I misunderstood you, L." "Did you? Well, I'm glad we cleared that up."

I would, once again, venture another educated guess that, while Watari’s primary reasons for starting a program of successors to L was noble, it ultimately backfired on an individual level. Society wise, the letters, as L calls them in L:CtW, are a force for good. They solve crimes, help law forces around the world to keep peace. Some of them even become scientists like Dr Kujo — though she becomes the main antagonist in the spin-off novel. However, the pressure this kind of lifestyle fostered creates a group of individuals who are highly competitive and manipulative. Some, like A, can’t handle it. Even L has his own troubles, being called a reclusive sociopath, possibly by the police forces who treat him as a utility rather than a person. He’s someone they admire and resent, who is tolerated given how effective he is at cracking down cases.

This passage from L:CtW paints a grim picture of the way L suppresses his own feelings as he breaks down for not being able to prevent Maki from being kidnapped (pg. 150-51):

"Light...it hurts. My heart--" It was a hurt that L Lawliet had suppressed, that he had to suppress in order to continue his existence as the peerless Detective L. How had the world's top detective been described in regard to facets of his personality rather than his ability as a detective? He had been called a kinky detective who relished bizarre murders, a human computer capable only of measuring mass murders in terms of cold numbers, a reclusive sociopath. What L thought of such estimations of his personality only L could know. But no one could truly understand L. How L did not and could not forget the faces of thousands of victims. Who could comprehend the man who had lived his life, and had to live confronting all the lives that ended prematurely, the tears of grief-stricken survivors, the devaluing of life as a daily reality. How was it possible to measure the pain of such a man? Was it a strain so heavy that L's back curved under all its weight? Was it an agony so terribly to leave the indelible dark circles around his eyes? Was it a feeling so bitter that every bite he took needed to be coated in sugar? The chronically rounded shoulders, the inevitable dark circles, the eccentric tastes--L suppressed the pain of being a champion of justice, but the evidence of the pain was moulded into his very body.”

Even within the clear disparity from the official canon, this passage slaps. It humanises L further, making the detective become a person and not just a machine who is content with his lifestyle. I know there’s a tendency for those who prefer the manga to see L as someone who is unabashedly himself and perfectly alright with the life he lives. I would argue that the Kira case was not only the most difficult challenge L ever faced, but also a series of moments where he had to be at his best — and at his worst. He had to do everything within his power to solve the case, not only because of his pride but because of what he considers to be his sense of justice. Saying with such confidence ‘I am justice’ is a rather cheesy and childish thing to say out loud, though I read it as both what started as a child’s stubbornness and what L became, as he positioned himself as a barrier to prevent crimes.

L suppresses himself, represses his emotions; he tries to control them, as Fu Takashi says in an interview, he is “dependent on games or battles of the mind”. Perhaps this is a consequence of the foundations of his personality. Despite L’s innate stubbornness, it could be argued that this is as much his fault as it is Watari’s, who didn’t nurture L’s social skills as he should have when he was a child. By not having an outlet outside of his hobby, L is trapped in a prison of his own making. Superficially, L is a “smart guy who hates losing”, but what about the rest? What about the things that make him human, the connections with others? In the same interview, it is mentioned how L feels lonely and needs affection. But what affection can you get when you isolate yourself from the world and keep everyone at arm’s length? He’s not a machine. Even machines become obsolete with time, and need outside help to keep functioning.

As for the latter point, if everyone around L is trying to step on him, humiliate him and surpass him, then it’s only natural that his emotional defences would be up. Aside from Watari, whose loyalty he can count on, he’s alone. L has no one else. And everyone around him will have a dangerous, significant probability to betray him.

Next in part 02: About romance, having someone close and intimate, the meaning of the Monster speech.

Tagging @rinneroraito and @sharkiethrts who might be interested in this meta.

#death note #l lawliet #death note meta #light yagami #spiraling trap #l lawliet headcanons #l lawliet x reader #watari #mello #mello death note #nate river #mihael keehl #near death note #beyond birthday #another note #l change the world #l death note #l lawliet death note

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oltammefru · 8 months ago

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To Theresa, Kal'tsit sort of represents the vastness and wonder of the world, the fact that she can do so much and be part of so much and yet not be tied down by it.

From the way Theresa writes this (in a really flowery and romantic sort of way), this seems like an aspect of Kal'tsit which she greatly envies, how Kal'tsit has done so much and seen so much and is still unfettered. Perhaps it was only a dream of hers that she would never get to experience, but I get the impression that deep down she wanted to be able to witness the vastness of the world and see all the sights of the world that Kal'tsit had told her about, and have the same sort of freedom that Kal'tsit had, and she specifically wanted to do it "alongside you (Kal'tsit)."

Meanwhile, Kal'tsit is in some sense a deeply lonely person. She feels that she has no place that she can call home, and she feels that she has "none of the same kind."

I get the impression that Kal'tsit is similarly sort of envious of what Theresa has, that she has a place to call home, that she has close ties and responsibilities to the people of Kazdel, and she has a family that she is close to.

For Theresa, I sort of interpret that much of the ties and connection to her home she had was a sort of burden for her. Perhaps not necessarily in the sense that she actively regretted having all these things that tied her down, but more in the sense that, given her personality and ideals, they would ultimately and inevitably lead to her death. The Black Crown and the entire weight of Sarkaz history that comes with it (for which it is implied that eventually the crown will cause its holder to become overtaken by like the collective anger of previous Sarkaz). This, combined with her duties and her desire to avoid as much death as possible, led her to decide to pass the crown onto "not a Sarkaz" Amiya and face her death with a smile, in order to bring about peace.

For Kal'tsit and Theresa, both of them saw what they desired in each other, but ultimately, Theresa's life ended in tragedy, and as much as both of them tried to provide to the other what they wanted, neither of them really got what they wanted in the end. (Except for brief glimpses of it through the other. Perhaps that would have to be enough.) Theresa, although her goals were to unite Kazdel and furthermore all the other nations of Terra under one banner, and to see what the rest of the world was like, she was never able to experience a life outside of Kazdel. Similarly, although Theresa had tried to provide a place for Kal'tsit that she could call home, she never really thought of Kazdel or Rhodes Island or anywhere else as a place she could call home after Theresa's death (although this is sort of changing with the way the current story is going.)

One of the things about this that intrigues me the most is that the Kal'tsit/Theresa dynamic is a sort of reversal of how the Sarkaz are often framed in story!:

It's mentioned in quite few places that Kal'tsit has "special feelings" for the Sarkaz. There's quite a few reasons for why this is, a major one has to do with how the Sarkaz are often framed as "rootless people"; their homeland has been destroyed over and over, many of them have been forced to leave Kazdel, and because of this she feels a sense of kinship with the Sarkaz, because she has a similar sort of rootlessness.

The way that a Walk in the Dust seems to frame it, in some ways, the Sarkaz still have it better than Kal'tsit does. One of the ways in which AWITD examines its theme of "homeland" is that basically every character interrogates the concept of one's home or homeland in some way, and what it means to them. Old Isin is searching for the lost glory of his homeland, everywhere the Emperor's Blade stands is the dominion of Ursus, the Sarkaz mercenaries think of Kazdel as they die, the Duke thinks of his motherland Ursus as he dies etc. In explicit contrast to all of this is Kal'tsit, who has no place she calls home at all. The way AWITD frames it, the Sarkaz mercenaries may have never been to Kazdel, but they still have somewhere they consider home. Kazdel might be a "nation of rootless people", but it is still a physically existing, (mostly) extant nation, and it still has people to belong to it and consider it their home, but Kal'tsit, she has nothing, nothing at all.

In contrast to Kal'tsit, Theresa defies the concept of Sarkaz rootlessness. What ultimately caused her death was that she was too weighed down by her ties to the Sarkaz and the weight of thousands of years of Sarkaz history burdening her down. No matter how much she might have wanted to run away and see the world, or how much she daydreamed about otherwise, there was nothing else she could do but face her end at the hands of her own people with a smile.

#arknights #kal'tsit #kal'tsit arknights #theresa #theresa arknights #couldn't find a good place to note this in the post but i'll also say #kazdel has been destroyed thousands and thousands of times #mostly by outside invading forces #but in contrast to all this #her own brother.#theresa's death was at the hands of someone very very close to her

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lanymme · 1 year ago

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Just finished A Walk in the Dust.

What a fantastic story. It shows in its text how Kal’tsit moves from place to place hoping to make little touches to prevent the worst from happening. War and violence still comes, but with her intervention it’s less than it could’ve been. I love the little moments of vulnerability that give her depth while deeply respecting her character—small touches, like when she casually says that loneliness will not affect her doing her duty, or the way she tries to avoid Passenger’s question at the end of how long she’ll be at Rhodes Island.

As I approached the end of the event, I was disappointed it didn’t go further into her past than twenty years. The lobby theme suggested a long, unending journey, and I had hoped to see that. But the final story node… it raised the story a full letter grade higher. The way a new generation of people surround her as she stays the same, the implication that she was present in the distant past that Old Isin mentions… so subtly, you can see that she has been taking part in meaningful, involved stories like these for such a terribly long time.

It’s such a subtle touch, to allow the narrative to focus on such a short period of time and tell these three stories with such depth, and then ask you to imagine her doing the same thing for thousands of years. It helps you see firsthand why she treats everyone the way she does, as lives she’s passing by.

All of these stories are, to some degree or another, key points in the lives of important characters or events in Arknights’s various side or main plots. They’re defining memories for each person she has touched. But for Kal’tsit, they are just a walk in the unsettled dust of worldly life, as she keeps her eyes forward, to her unending duty.

#arknights

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applyforisin · 2 years ago

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xhxhxhx · 2 months ago

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This isn't quite there yet, but it's getting dark outside.

This is a post about anime.

The second part of this season of Monogatari, the animated adaptation of Nisio Isin's light novel series, is Nademonogatari, the continuing story of Nadeko Sengoku.

Nadeko is a shut-in with a problem.

The problem isn't that she's a shut-in. No, Nadeko would like to stay a shut-in for as long as humanly possible.

You see, Nadeko is an aspiring manga artist. Nadeko would like to be published, to have a weekly serial, telling stories to adolescent girls about adolescent girls in love.

This, Nadeko tells us, is the only thing she wants. Nadeko would like to sacrifice everything, everything but sleeping and eating and bathing, to this one thing.

No, the problem is that, in Nademonogatari's instigating event, Nadeko's parents tell her to get a job.

II.

Not much happens in Nademonogatari.

That's to be expected in Monogatari. But it's particularly true of Nademonogatari.

Nadeko's parents telling her to get a job is the only thing that actually happens in Nademonogatari, and even that doesn't happen on the page or screen.

Nademonogatari is Nadeko speaking to herself, to a doll, or to apparitions of herself, projections of past personalities that Nadeko has trouble recognizing as her own.

Nadeko observes that she hasn't spoken to anyone in a long time besides a humanoid doll and a distant friend. And she doesn't talk much to the friend.

Monogatari is about apparitions, entities that take their shape and weight from the humans in their company.

The language here is a bit tricky. The ontology is meant to be ambiguous, I think. It's best not to be too literal here, or to take statements for more than they're worth.

Nademonogatari follows Nadeko and one particular apparition, Yotsugi Ononoki, a humanoid doll that adapts her personality to fit "whoever is beside her."

And in Nademonogatari, that's just Nadeko.

III.

The apparition is not kind to Nadeko.

"You're naive," she says. "Useless," she says. "Idiotic," she says, all in the same neutral tone, commending Nadeko's parents for "calling their idiot daughter an idiot."

As often as not, Nadeko agrees with the apparition. "I am useless," she says. "I am stupid." But here she demurs: "It's not like they called me an idiot. They just said what I'm doing is idiotic."

The apparition adapts. "I don't think all of your efforts are useless," she acknowledges, "and I don't think what your idiot self does is idiotic."

This is the apparition agreeing with Nadeko. This is the apparition being kind to Nadeko. This is the apparition's kindness, in Nadeko's company.

It's Nadeko's kindness to Nadeko.

IV.

Nadeko has given herself an out.

If she achieves something as an author before she graduates, then. Then. It's not entirely clear what then. Then she'll convince her parents, she says. To let her stay.

The apparition has to be blunt. (She's always blunt, but here she says she has to be.) "If you don't achieve anything by graduation," she says, "you'll have to give up." And here Nadeko agrees.

But the apparition has a suggestion: If she posted under her own name and face, as a version of herself—middle school student, runaway, shut-in—she would have no trouble.

In the background, photos of Nadeko's face and silhouette, and a summary biography: isolated, bullied, a runaway that lived in a shrine all alone in the back of the woods.

"Your dramatic story is sure to make your work shine more brilliantly than it actually can," the apparition says.

Nadeko demurs.

I suppose we could take Nadeko's response in different ways. It could be unease, the shut-in's unease. It could be anxiety, the runaway's anxiety. It could be fear, the girl's fear.

I read it, perhaps unkindly, as our author smirking at the implausibility of the situation. Nadeko would have no trouble, of course, if only she would make herself available.

But she doesn't.

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lavendarhearts · 1 year ago

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holy shit no bc like I was literally just supposed to be doing hw but I think I got distracted and suddenly I'm crying bc I dived into David Tennant lore like he's in Good Omens, Doctor Who, and Ducktales, right? WELL, in Doctor Who, they said there were different universes so I'm thinking maybe all the shows and movies that David Tennant are in are just different universes. Like, David and Catherine Tate are both in Doctor Who and Ducktales. HOWEVER, in Ducktales, they are each other's greatest enemies while in Doctor Who, they are best friends. In parallel universes, few things change and what if Ducktales was literally just a parallel duck universe??? LETS NOT FORGET THE DOCTOR WHO REFERENCES IN GOOD OMENS EITHER. Ik it's just stuff the cast put in but pls just feed into my delulu mind. AND LETS ALSO NOT FORGET THAT NINA'S ACTRESS, NINA SOSANYA IS ALSO IN DOCTOR WHO, AS WELL AS ANNA MAXWELL MARTIN IN S1. What if Community, b99, and Parks and rec are also connected to this? BC Danny Pudi, Jim Rash, and Bridget Brewster are all in Communty BUT THEYRE ALSO IN DUCKTALES W DAVID TENNANT. And in Community, it stars Jason Mantzoucas. Ik he only made like one appearance but hear me out. What if it was just Pimento under cover or in hiding? He was also in Parks and Rec. You know who was in Parks and Rec? JEAN RALPHIO. WHO IS JEAN RALPHIO? DEWEY DUCK. BUT GUESS WHAT?? THERES MORE. Jameela Jamil was also in Ducktales as Gandra Dee but you know who her most iconic role is? Tahani Al Jamil in The Good Place. The Good Place also has Marc Evan Jackson but he was also in FUCKING DUCKTALES. BUT JASON MANTZOUCAS IS ALSO IN DUCKTALES???? SO IS STEPHANIE BEATRIZ WHO IS ALSO IN B99. WHO ELSE IS IN BROOKLYN 99? MARC EVAN JACKSON AS KEVIN COZNER. Giancarlo Esposito is also in Ducktales apparently but he was also Gilbert from Community. BUT WAIT WHAT IF HARRY POTTER IS CONNECTED TOO? BC DAVID TENNANT IS BARTY CROUCH JR AND BARTY CROUCH SR IS ROGER LLOYD PACK AND HE IS IN DOCTOR WHO S2. FILCH WAS THE FIRST DOCTOR. ANDREW GARFIELD IS SPIDERMAN BUT HE IS IN DOCTOR WHO AS WELL????????? WHO ELSE IS ANDREW GARFIELD KNOWN FOR? REMUS GODDAMN LUPIN THE WEREWOLF. HARRY LLOYD ISIN DOCTOR WHO BUT HE IS THE FANCAST OF LUCIUS MALFOY ALSO, WASNT MOANING MYRTLE ALSO IN DOCTOR WHO? MADAME TRACY IN GOOD OMENS IS LITERALLY RITA SKEETER, MADAM HOOCH IS CASSANDRA THE SKIN HUMAN THIBG AND THE TENTH DOCTOR LITERALLY SAYING EXPELLIARMUS LORD SEND ME MENTAL HELP AND GIVE ME PEACE IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS OMG AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT CATHERINE TATE IS IN THE OFFICE FUCK ME I DRANK A FAT ASS CUP OF BLACK COFFEE W SUGAR

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impossiblesuitcase · 1 year ago

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K your requests are closed but you said you would accept my one. (Thks btw) This can take place anytime after the series (when cinder is on Luna, when they are engaged or married etc) basically the idea is that Kai starts getting extremely bad headaches one day. Like so bad that he has had to leave the room to go throw up from the pain, and is constantly zoning out etc. He doesn’t tell anyone cause he thinks he should be able to handle it. And then one day Torin is like “you know your dad had migraines too.” And he finally goes to the doctor for it. It’s mostly Kai and torin but you can certainly add as much Kaider as you want.

Elwin also received this prompt and wrote a fabulous fic. Make sure you read it!

Take What I'm Handed

My love

Hey love, feeling any better?

You

Not really

My love

Hows your head?

You

Like the entire Rampion engine is firing in my skull.

My love

My poor sweetheart.

Have you been working?

You

Not this morning. I’m trying to stay away from screens before my brain bleeds out

My love

Then voice comm me so you don’t have to look at the screen

You

I’m in a meeting

My love

Important?

You

Earthen Union

My love

So not important ;)

What’s it about

You

Hey there missy, since when are you entitled to know?

I seem to recall you abdicating the throne seven months ago

You can’t have your cake and eat it too

My love

I will eat all the cake I want :P

You

It’s for mandatory declaration of status as a lunar at international borders

My love

Vargas will like that

You

Of course. You know Americans

My love

We know one American and that’s enough

here let me prepare an answer for you

The greater issue to consider here is how this bill will be received by the provinces. The mandatory declaration of origin at international borders has traditionally been a residual power decided on a state by state basis. Adding Lunars into this heated issue does not change legislation. If we exclude the provinces from discussions in these mandates, it could be perceived as an aggressor.

How did I go?

“Your Majesty.”

Kai startled, ripping burning eyes from his port to the holograph.

A line of portraits floated before the conference room—world leaders and their cookie-cutter identical representatives. The speaker’s portrait was lit up, emblazoned with a United Kingdom; as if any breathing soul could even enter such a high-ranking meeting without knowing all present.

All present were staring at him.

Releasing his port with a jolt—and a loud thud—Kai garbled a, “Pardon, Your Majesty?”

Queen Camilla’s pencilled eyebrow quirked. It was difficult to know what she really thought under that impeccable diplomatic visage, but Kai had been raised to speak that language. It could be:

It’s your turn (kind and prompting).

It’s your turn (desperate to be freed from this tedious meeting).

It’s your turn (speak, incompetent moron).

Judging by her pursed lips, Kai guessed it was a combination of those last two.

“We are awaiting your response,” she said plainly.

“Right,” he started, with absolutely no inkling of where his words should go. “My apologies. I trust this is referring to the, uh, the mandatory declaration of status as a Lunar at international borders?”

“Yes, it isin relation to the sole topic we’ve been discussing for the past hour,” intoned Governor-General Williams of Australia, near-glaring. Kai appreciated the bluntness.

“Thank you. I just wondered if…there was…a…specific point in this matter that you were referring to. So I can verify with my notes before contributing,” he lied, knowing he hadn’t intended to present anything in this meeting. He just hoped one of the other Commonwealth representatives—ones who were currently capable of breathing without their intestines tying around their lungs—had already spoken on his behalf. “The Eastern Commonwealth’s position remains unchanged.”

“Forgive me if I misspeak, but I do believe your country is yet to offer anything on this matter thus far,” Camilla observed, tone devoid of any request for forgiveness.

Ah, so option three: speak, incompetent moron.

“Th-that is correct, my sincerest apologies again. I was referring to our position as discussed in our private meetings”—(meetings he hadn’t attended, though he’d briefly skimmed over the minutes at breakfast that morning)—“and I mistakenly assumed we had already expressed those views today. Our stance is…is…”

His eyes fell to his port, fingers primed to race for those minutes when he saw Cinder’s last message on the split screen.

His brain barely paused to screen them before the words tumbled from his mouth.

“The greater issue to consider here,” he recited haltingly, “is as to how this bill will be received by the provinces. The mandatory declaration of origin at international borders has traditionally been a residual power decided on a state-by-state basis.” Heart calming, he eased his tone, donning the veil of a well-rehearsed speech. “Folding Lunars into this inflammatory mix does not alter legislation. If we exclude the provinces from discussions in these mandates, it could be perceived as an aggressor.”

Mind clearer as the panic subsided, he looked up gravely, concluding, “I think we can all agree that after the cataclysmic ramifications of the war, none of us desire the possibility of internal insurgence.”

A crackle of static crossed the connection. All were voiceless.

Is this not what they’d been discussing? Is it obvious he hasn’t paid attention?

Then Camilla’s nose pinched, reminiscent of a teacher’s glower when they’d pick on an inattentive student, expecting floundering, only to receive the correct answer. Smarting over the rebuff, poor concealment to save face. Yet she wasn’t disagreeing. Nor did any of the others fire back some warmed-up-leftovers retort.

“That is…not something we’ve yet considered,” she conceded.

Stars bless his woman.

You

Thank you.

My love

You used it?

I tried my best to sound like you

You

It was a lifesaver.

Though I changed a few words.

My love

Which ones?

You

Heated is a bit general. I used inflammatory.

My love

Ooh ill add it to my ‘fancy politician speak’ list.

“And what does the EC propose we do to prevent seditious mentalities arising from the provinces?” asked Prime Minister Kamin of Africa after several points Kai hadn’t heeded to passed.

Autopilot. “Considering this matter concerns the provinces, should we not turn to the provinces? I suggest” —Stars he is just making this up as he goes—“we first hold counsel with the province representatives individually. With impartial moderators of course.” (Nice, that’ll make it sound fleshed out.) “Once the opinions of each province are compiled, we can adjourn again to find the best strategy moving forward.”

Don’t see it as a cop-out to end this meeting. Don’t see it as a cop-out to end this meeting. This totally a cop-out.

President Vargas of the American Republic cleared his throat. The person who had introduced this bill, the person with a propensity for dragging a meeting through sleeplessness, hunger, and absolute thirst until he got his way. Kai felt everyone brace for argument, but Vargas simply commented, “That seems to be the most logical plan for the time being,” Oh, thank you, loud American man.

“I agree,” said Grand Minister Clay of Luna, always kindly looking even with the grimmest of subjects. He had been noticeably quiet this meeting; understandably, as he had held this position for less than a year and the Union were still not in the practise of including Luna in debates about Luna. “Luna only wants its citizens to interact with yours in peaceful, harmonious relations. We will do all we can from our side of the atmosphere to accommodate these adjustments in what is, as we recognise, an incendiary issue.”

A murmur of polite agreement. Good. Everyone’s happy. The end. Now. Please.

My love

Finished?

You

I wish.

Incendiary. From Jacin’s dad.

My love

adding some flavour. It makes the list.

谢谢

You

‘You’re welcome’ in Mandarin

My love

You’re too tired to type it out? You are sick

Here

不客气

You

不客气

Thanks

My love

Have you eaten yet?

You

Yeah. I threw up ten minutes later.

My love

Get some water into you and go to bed after youre done

You

Can’t. I’ve got two more meetings

My love

No you dont. Go to bed

You

I might feel better by then

My love

Kaito

You

I’ll rest before then

Promise

———

He didn’t rest.

Kai trudged to his office, feet clawing on the carpet. His shoes were sure to be scuffed. That was all right; maybe he could throw one against his temple to knock himself out of his misery.

The meeting had ended later than scheduled, as per usual. Then when the connections beeped out, his own staff had turned to him with ready-made speeches for the meeting after the meeting. It was terribly impolite how he’d blown them off and stumbled out to the hallway.

It was also terribly hard to care.

His hand skimmed the wall as he turned a corner. Eyes resolutely closed, he had never been so glad to live in this palace his whole life, for he knew the path just by sense. His stomach was roiling yet ravenous.

Four more steps, instinct reminded him.

Cold hands grazed a door frame. Kai fumbled, eyes still sealed, until he found the scanner and flashed his wrist, waiting for the whoosh of the sliding door.

Silence.

He flashed his wrist again.

One, two, three seconds.

Hailing a thousand planets’ worth of strength, he forced his eyes open. Kai centred his wrist where the scanner’s electronic beam should lie. Except there was none.

“Wha—”

“It’s locked.”

He jerked and spun to the voice, surprised to be surprised to see his adviser seated in an armchair by the window. Of course—Torin had been at the Union meeting. And now he was here for the next meeting, to be held in precisely thirty-four minutes.

“Well,” he spoke, tongue iron in his mouth. “Can…can we unlock it?”

“No.”

“…No?”

“I locked it, Your Majesty.”

Kai smacked his lips, hand still hovering beneath the scanner. It took a significantly long moment before he uttered, “...Why?”

Torin abruptly stood, brushed down his suit and approached him. His mouth was set in a fine line, eyes enigmatic black. Kai momentarily felt that he should be bowing to this man as his superior, not the other way around.

His adviser procured something from his suit pocket, folding Kai’s fingers around it. A small silver flask, cool to the touch.

Kai held it. Stared at it dumbly.

“Ahem.”

Fingers waking under the discipline, he quickly untwisted the cap and brought the flask to his nose. He gave a cautionary sniff to scan for anything deadly—coffee would surely murder him. Finding it scentless, he drank. Water. He drank, drank, drank.

Once the flask was drained, Torin pulled it back to his possession. “This way,” he said, extending a hand towards the corridor.

Kai’s budding question died as Torin began striding away. His office door sung out to him—promising escape, promising rest.

He could cancel that meeting. He could just not show.

But it was important. It was always so important. The mere fact that his country was still his and united and free was not to be understated.

He would take what he was handed. The burden, no, the responsibility that had been bestowed.

Three corridors in, no explanation had been offered. The hope that he was being led to his quarters was quashed on the cross-path to the sixteenth floor, where Torin diverted to the left. From the corner of his periphery, Kai noticed Torin studying him with a strong expression.

Great. He’s probably here to toss me a pack of painkillers, a ‘toughen up’ pep talk and force me into the meeting early.

Rather than do any of those things, Torin proffered him a pair of sunglasses. “Shield your eyes.”

He was frighteningly prepared. Slipping them on, Kai began blinking rapidly as the hallway was sucked of light. The sting behind his irises soothed. It did help. But his brain was still bleeding out of his ears, and every step, no matter how delicate, sent a throb up his spine. “Torin, I don’t think I can—”

“Just a moment, Kai.”

Kai was gently steered into a door that he had never noticed before, despite having walked this path countless times. Once inside, and only once he processed that they’d stopped walking, he realised it was an elevator. Not like the other elevators in the palace with their polished mahogany and dragon emblems and Edo period landscapes as the wallpaper. This was a plain stainless steel. It didn’t even have an android standing by.

“This is a servant’s elevator,” Torin supplied, expecting the curiosity. “It is a more direct route to our destination. I also believed you’d find the fewer guards along this path preferable.”

Yes. The less people who saw him like this, the better.

A disorientating swoop landed in his belly as they descended five floors. Ten. Thirteen. Then, the doors whished apart—with Kai’s genuine gasp—to blue, blue skies.

The cold hit his bones like a shockwave. The sunshine hit his skin like a prayer.

They trickled out of the lift into the immaculate paradise of the Imperial Palace Gardens. The buds were in bloom, the grass wet and dewy. Birds larked happily—the sound too beautiful to be bothersome to tired ears. Kai gaped in the wonder as they walked this unknown path, ignoring the complaints from his aching temples.

When was the last time he’d been out here?

A chilly afternoon drifted before him, the last before Cinder had left for another ambassadorial stint. They’d had a picnic lunch under the willow tree on the east side of the garden. The leaves were brown and wilting. Cinder had cosied up to him to fight the crisp wind and sprinkled bark in his hair.

Winter.

He hadn’t been outside in a whole season.

“Kai,” called a calm voice. Torin was gesturing to a shady hollow amongst shrubs and trees. Slivers of sunlight flickered and shone down upon plush grass and foxglove blooms and pussy willows. In the centre of the flora was a wooden pavilion.

Torin brushed past him to set up the pillows already resting there. He patted the deck invitingly.

Kai didn’t need to be told twice. Shucking off his suit jacket and tossing it aside, he collapsed onto his back. His tendons groaned at the unforgiving mattress of wood, but Kai didn’t care. He was as content as a cooing baby in a cot.

The pavilion was small, but enough to accommodate all of Kai’s five feet and eleven inches. He gulped in the sweet scent of jasmine and breathed with the beats of the wind whistling through hollyhocks. Time passed; something vaguely prodded at him, badgering on about being back on time for his meetings.

Eh, Torin can force me back inside when he must.

At least, he assumed Torin had stayed. He was yet to hear the rustle of a wool suit and departing footsteps, though he doubted his woozy mind would notice.

Throat dry and hoarse, he tested, “How’d you know about this place?”

Birds chirped in response. Wind added its opinion. But no voice of his adviser.

He’d left.

But then, softly: “You are certainly not the first to struggle with the pressures of palace life.”

“Are you implying you’ve had moments of inability? You?” Kai laughed, rubbing his eyes. “Don’t joke, Torin.”

“I’m sure it is a great shock to you.” The response was more humoured than he’d heard in a while. The last time Torin had allowed such openness had been early in Cinder’s reign, when he’d informed her that she was not in fact bowing to the prince and princess of the United Kingdom, but the delivery florists.

(Kai didn’t think he’d laughed so hard since.)

“I am not as indestructible or unperturbed as I exert myself to appear, Kai. Nor should you have to be.”

Cracking open an eye, Kai glanced weakly at him. The perpetual frown was as present as if it were carved out of marble. Yet the slightest glimmer in his outstretched gaze warmed the stone.

“This place belonged to your father.” His voice assumed a warm, reminiscent timbre. “He and his father —your grandfather—built it together during one of Rikan’s school holidays. In later years, Rikan would come here when he required a reprieve from the necessities demanded of an emperor.”

Kai smiled at the thought of his father and grandfather together, working on a project—an idyllic image of bonding. His grandfather had died when Kai was too young to remember him, making Rikan a very young emperor. Kai had since claimed that record. His grandmother had died his last year of high school. As for his mother, her family originated from Japan and still lived there. None of them had ever been fond of his mother’s decision to marry a prince, so while his maternal grandparents sent gifts every year, they’d only promised to come visit to officially meet their granddaughter-in-law-to-be. “Why didn’t dad ever take me here?” he wondered aloud. “If he’d made it with Zǔfù…”

“Rikan was a good father. But he was also a young, troubled widower.” A sigh. “He came here to relieve those frustrations. He only ever wanted to give you the best of him; perhaps that’s why he did not bring you.”

A brown leaf blew in from the wind, a remnant from winter. Torin caught it in mid-air, crumpling it in his fist.

Kai recalled many things after his mother’s death, but the image of dad crying was obscured. The months following, Rikan had devoted himself to time with his son; outings, ice creams and bike rides, hugs and hot milk before bedtime. Kai had wondered at the time if his dad was a superhero, because he seemed to handle the pain that was suffocating Kai with such ease. Now older, a well-acquainted unwilling friend of grief, Kai guessed those tears had been shed into his mother’s pillow at night.

“He always did,” Kai confirmed, turning to his side. The breeze kissed his chin. “I wish he were here.” I wish he’d cried with me. I wish he’d let me see that it was okay.

“As do I.”

His eyes fluttered as he breathed, thinking of Cinder. More and more as he aged, he understood what his father felt when his mother died. To lose Cinder…he feared the person he would become. She was everything to him. She was everything that helped him stay him. For his father to smile and endure and lead the nation with conviction proved yet again that Rikan was a far greater man than himself.

“He was much stronger than me.”

“That is hardly true,” Torin reprimanded coldly.

A chuckle bubbled in Kai’s throat, the image of a young prince being scolded by a tall, stern-faced adviser flitting by his memories.

“Don’t laugh. Your father would not want you to believe him an infallible saint.”

“Sorry, sir.”

He exhaled loudly through his nostrils, an eye roll in Konn Torin language. “Your father struggled just as any person under such conditions would.”

“Yeah, he struggled. Me, I collapse.”

A scoff. “Do you know what would happen when you father struggled?”

“No.”

“He would develop migraines.”

Kai froze. A pointed look was aimed his way.

“Anxiety is normal. It’s healthy, in a way. It motivates you to do things well, knowing their negative results if you do not. But worrying about the anxiety, overexerting yourself in hopes of pre-empting that anxiety…”

He didn’t need to finish. Kai knew he was doing better than the eighteen-year-old orphan who had just lost his father and inherited half the world. But vast experience two more years did not make.

“You deserve respite, Kai. Do not be ashamed to take it.” Torin hesitated, an uncommon sight. “I…I won’t always be here to tell you to take care of yourself.”

A smile curled over dry lips. “Soon I’ll have an empress to do that.”

“Indeed. Still I am certain your fiancée would not want you to be overworking yourself as you are now.”

She doesn’t.

Torin opened his hand. The leaf he had claimed was now no more than a pile of brown ashes. Closing his eyes meditatively, succumbing to the cadence of the breeze, Torin seemed to be waiting. Trees kindly lowered their branches, inviting any wandering travellers to pass through.

Torin was patient. A burst of wind whistled overhead and at its loudest, he tossed the crumbs. Each piece scattered through the current, dancing a pas de deux in the exhilaration of freedom, and then they were gone.

Torin held out his empty palm. “You should always have someone you can lean upon when you struggle, Kai. But you must learn to stand up on your own.”

Planting his hands on the deck, Kai took a breath. He heaved himself upwards.

He took Torin’s hand.

A fatherly smile, a tired smile, in tandem.

“Thank you,” said Kai.

Torin’s wrinkles creased back into that hard-set indifference. I’m proud of you, in Konn Torin language. He patted Kai’s knee. “I have postponed your meetings for today. Your office will unlock in three hours.”

“It’ll be the end of the workday by then,” Kai contested, laying back atop the pillow.

“Oh. What a shame.”

“Sarcasm?” A yawn as the suitcoat was tucked against his chest. “Cinder’s rubbing off on you.”

“We could all use a touch of her fiery spirit now and turn.”

Maybe. But right now, Kai just wanted Cinder’s icy calmness, when she’d kiss his head and pull him in her arms. Determination and drive could wait for tomorrow.

His head throbbed a quieter drumbeat, syncopated by the footsteps that clipped away on the pebbles. Kai let his face muscles slack, his mind slip away, exhaustion excusing the lack of goodbye.

Something startled him from sleep.

He mumbled incoherently, rising on instinct and squinting at the silhouetted figure.

Torin put a hand to Kai’s chest, easing him back to the deck. “Easy there,” he soothed. He nestled something by Kai’s hip.

Blearily, Kai found the flask from before, refilled. A strip of medicine lay beside it.

“You have an appointment booked with Doctor Li at 13:00 tomorrow if you wish to attend.” A final smile. “Get some rest, Kai.”

There was the goodbye.

“Thanks Torin,” he called distantly with a slow wave, eyes drooping like sleepy autumn buds.

The sounds surrounding him were numerous and beautiful. Before he’d wished to be in the void of space for blessed silence; now he dreaded it. This lulled him like his mother’s voice and his father’s low laugh and Cinder’s humming.

He would take what he was handed. The compassion, the love, the promise of endurance.

Rest he would.

———

You

Did you sic Torin on me?

My love

Let me check the controlling every aspect of Kai’s life group chat

Nope i haven’t commed in a week

You

-_-

My love

Did he make you sleep

You

Yeah

My love

That’s great

He’s a good guy

I actually thought about comming him

But I kinda figured he’d be looking out for you anyway

You

I love you Cinder. You’re my whole world

My love

Sap

(Same)

Go to bed, handsome

You

@cindersassasin @hayleblackburn @spherical-empirical @salt-warrior @just2bubbly @gingerale2017 @zephyr-thedragon @icarusignite @kaider-is-my-otp @slmkaider @luna-maximoff-22 @cosmicnovaflare @kaixiety @snozkat @mirrorballsss @skinwitch18 @vincentvangothic @bakergirl13 @zsysartsandfics

why was this so easy to write yet so difficult to edit? Also I will probably go through and fix this again because I just wanted it out of my drafts. Okay byyyeeee!

#tlc #kaider #the lunar chronicles #lunar chronicles #linh cinder #emperor kaito #prince kai #tlc fandom #lunar chronicles fanficition #kaider fanfiction #konn torin #emperor kai #yes the title is from pressure from encanto #I COULDNT THINK OF A TITLE OKAY #but i know this song is perfect for him

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