#what if she really did just wanna hang out with her mom n her friends and pick flowers what then | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luvergirl-866 · 3 months ago

Text

something like love

part - 1

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 4.1k

c/w - language

a/n - hi!! i am so so excited to be posting my first ever pazzi fic (and also my first post on tumblr!) she’s a cute little fake-dating rom-com for yall, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much i enjoyed writing it! updates will probably be inconsistent but im gonna do my best lol. lmk what yall think!! (edit: side note, this is obviously all fiction! i’m sure paige’s mom and step-dad are perfectly good people irl, lol)

“Will you go out with me?”

When Paige asks this question during their weekly lunch date, Azzi is so taken aback that she almost chokes on her Chipotle.

“Shit, you good?” Paige asks, concerned, handing Azzi a napkin to cough into.

Azzi waves her off, swallows, and croaks, “What?”

“Hm?” Paige is staring at her nonchalantly, like she didn’t just ask what Azzi heard her ask. “Oh, that. Yeah, will you?”

“I don’t—“ Azzi shakes her head. Is she being messed with? It feels a lot like she’s being messed with. “Paige, you’re my best friend.”

“Exactly.”

“I didn’t know you…had, like, feelings for me.”

“Huh? No!” Wide-eyed, Paige shakes her head violently. “No, ‘course I don’t.”

Azzi’s stomach clenches—not in the good way it sometimes does around Paige—and she thinks Paige could’ve bothered to sound less disgusted by the notion of her having feelings for Azzi. “Funny, P.”

“I’m for real.”

Azzi frowns. “Actually?” Paige nods and Azzi wrinkles her brow, confused. “So you wanna go out with me but you don’t feel…like that about me.”

“Were you even listening earlier?” Paige playfully rolls her eyes, sitting all casually in her seat with her legs spread like she has the biggest dick on campus. Azzi usually loves it when she sits like that, but now she’s too annoyed and confused to appreciate it. “I was talking about my mom.”

“Oh.” To be fair, Azzi stopped listening a while ago, when Paige was still talking about the hot electrician that fixed her leaky sink the other day. She wasn’t aware the conversation had taken a more serious tone. “Sorry, I spaced. What were you saying?”

“I was saying she and her fuckass husband invited me home for a few weeks this summer…” Paige waits, but it doesn’t ring any bells, so she sighs and continues. “They told me to bring Josh.”

Azzi scrunches her nose. “Eww, why?”

“Because…I haven’t really, like, you know…” Paige tips her head to the side, “told them we ended things.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs.

“I know! I know. Just, I dunno.” Paige sighs, and Azzi knows she’s trying to act chill about it even though she likely laid awake last night thinking about it. “It’s hard, y’know? They’re not like my dad’s side, they’re not like your parents. You know what they did after I told them…” Paige glances surreptitiously around the restaurant, even though they’re far away from campus and not very likely to be recognized, “everything. And if I told them about Josh and they suspected something, I don’t think they’d let me see Ryan and Lauren again.” Her eyes are wide, now, and she’s doing that thing she does when she gets mad, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers.

Paige and Josh were never actually a thing, by the way. Paige doesn’t swing that way and she’s known it for a long time. But she came out to her mom over the new year, and that phone call had ended in a seething Paige at Azzi’s door, yelling and cursing while Azzi listened, and a broken one in her bed that night, crying herself to sleep while Azzi stroked her hair.

So a couple months later Paige recruited their closeted gay friend, Josh. And they became each other’s beards, pleasing her mom enough that she could stay in contact with her younger siblings. That is, until Josh found a nice boyfriend and Paige was left hanging.

Azzi tries to come up with something to say, something comforting, but she’s not sure there is anything to say.

“And I hate them for that,” Paige goes on. “But as long as Ryan and Lauren are still kids, my parents can still keep them from me. And it sucks they’re holding that over my head but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”

Azzi offers a sad little smile, letting her silence urge Paige to go on, even though she can tell it’s hard for her.

“So, anyway,” Paige sighs, sitting back in her seat, “when Josh ended it, I didn’t wanna tell them, because I knew the calls would stop coming, the support. And so whenever they asked about him, I’d be all, oh, yeah, he’s doing great, just busy. Just bullshitting my way through it.”

“And you’ve been doing this for the past two months?”

“Umm…” Paige looks down at her fingers, counting on them, then furrows her eyebrows. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“Okay…” Azzi leans forward on her elbows. “So how does your weird question come into all this?”

“Don’t say no right away,” Paige says, giving her this knowing look she hates.

Azzi narrows her eyes at her. “We’ll see.”

Paige reaches over to whack her and misses. “Lemme explain, damn. So, when they called me last night and invited me to come home with Josh, I was like, oh, shit. And I thought of ways I could handle it.”

“Uh-huh…” Azzi watches with wary eyes as Paige bends to rummage through her book bag. “Paige, tell me you’re not—”

“Let me introduce you to…” Paige keys up her laptop and then turns the screen toward Azzi with a wide smile, “Boom!”

“Oh my fucking god.” Azzi buries her head in her hands.

“No, bro, listen! It’s lowkey impressive!” Paige taps the screen. “It’s titled Game Plan for my Summer Visit to my Fuckass Parents, featuring Azzi Fudd. By Paige Bueckers.”

“Good Lord,” Azzi says, taking a peek at the PowerPoint in front of her. When has Paige ever gone to such lengths as to create a PowerPoint before? This must really be serious to her.

“So, listen carefully.” Paige taps the screen again; it changes from the title slide to one labeled ‘First (and worst) Option’. “I put the worst part because it’s true, but it’s also a lil rhyming moment.”

“Right, okay. Just keep going, please.”

“So, this is the first option that came to mind,” Paige starts, glancing down at the screen. “This is the option where I ghost my parents and refuse to come see them at all.” She taps the screen to a pros and cons slide. “As you can see, I mostly only came up with cons.”

“Yeah, because it’s a terrible idea.”

“I know. So then we have option two.” The next slide is labeled ‘Option Two (mid)’. “I put the mid part because—“

“I get it.”

Paige shoots her a look. Azzi playfully kicks her under the table. “Go on.”

“Okay.” Paige nudges Azzi’s foot with her own, but her attention is back to the laptop. “This is the scenario where I let my parents think that Josh and I are still together by telling them that I can come to Montana, but that Josh can’t. It’d be pretty easy, and as you can see here…” she clicks the screen, “there’s an even ratio of pros to cons.”

Azzi nods sagely. Sometimes, her best friend takes a while to get to the point, and Azzi learned a long time ago that waiting it out is the best way to go.

“But there is this one big con: I can’t keep lying to my parents forever. So this option is pretty much a way to procrastinate on telling them the truth. Which takes us to the last option.”

This slide is titled ‘Third Option (THE BEST)’ along with a few muscle emojis tacked to the end. A headache forms at the base of Azzi’s skull.

“This is where my awesome idea comes in.” Paige gives her a very self-satisfied smile. “Instead of Josh, I take you with me to Montana and we pretend you’re my girlfriend for two weeks. Literally a genius idea.” She leans back in her seat, nodding assuredly to herself, and Azzi can’t help but smile because she really loves this girl. Despite how bat-shit crazy she is.

“P, I don’t—“

“Hear me out.” Paige clicks to the final slide. This pros and cons list is mostly pros, and Azzi spots many love-emojis sprinkled throughout. “We pretend we’ve been dating since beginning of March. They know you’re my best friend; we’ll pretend that after Josh broke up with me, you and I bonded and fell in love or some shit. My parents won’t be happy, but I’ll already be there with you so they won’t kick me out or nothing.” Paige frowns. “Probably.”

Ok, so, Azzi absolutely hates to admit it, but this does actually make some sense. Not that she’ll ever say such a thing out loud.

“And then they’ll realize we’re totally in love and I’m happy and even if they hate gay shit they just want me to be happy, because I’m their kid.” Paige says this last part less like a fact and more like something she’s trying to convince herself of. Azzi can’t help but feel bad for her.

“Okay,” Azzi says slowly, watching Paige tuck away her laptop. “That’s your plan.”

“Yep.”

“I’m seeing a few plot holes.”

Paige waves her off. “It’ll work. No plan of mine is gonna fail, trust.”

“And why should I help you?”

Paige gives her an easy smile, and Azzi sort of hates how confident she is. “Because I’m your best friend in the whole world and you love me.”

Azzi raises an eyebrow.

“C’mon, Az. What is there to lose?”

Azzi sighs and almost says something stupid like I’m in, but this isn’t just one of those things that she can help Paige with without thinking twice. It’ll be two weeks of torture, pretending to date the girl she’s secretly in love with while being surrounded by her homophobic family, and then having to come home at the end of the two weeks and pretend she never got to experience a glimpse of what it’s like to be with Paige in the way she’s always wanted.

It sounds like hell.

Azzi sighs again, ready to say no, but when she looks up Paige is staring at her with something more vulnerable than before, open in the way she bites her lip, her arm reaching across the table like she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve and waiting for Azzi to take it.

Azzi takes her hand, instinctually, and says, “Okay.”

She is so fucking gone for this girl.

————————————-

They don’t talk about it for two days after that. It’s not that they don’t get the chance, or that they don’t see each other—they go to the gym together both days—it’s just that neither of them seems to have the guts to bring it up. And why should they? It wasn’t too scary while they were having the original conversation—nothing too big or threatening or, god forbid, real—but as soon as Azzi stepped into her dorm after that lunch, she realized just how much she fucked up by saying yes to Paige’s crazy idea.

It would be an understatement to say that talking about it is the last thing Azzi wants to do at this point.

Paige, however, seems to have other plans, as she usually does. When she storms into the living room—where almost every single member of the UConn women’s basketball team is doing homework—she makes a beeline for the seat beside Azzi on the couch and whispers, “Hey.”

Nika leans up from the floor to poke Paige with her pencil. “No chit-chat, we’re working.”

Paige glares. “What, I can’t talk to my best friend?”

“Shh,” hisses Aaliyah, barely pulling her eyes from her laptop.

Paige flips her off even though Aaliyah is too immersed to notice, and then she turns her attention back to Azzi, bumping their knees together. “Can we talk later?”

Azzi pretends to be focused on studying. “Mm. About?”

“About…” Paige glances around furtively, “y’know.”

Yes, Azzi does in fact know, but she really wishes she didn’t. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Paige says sarcastically. “Specifics? Rules? Details? I prepared a whole new PowerPoint.”

“So that’s what you’ve been doing the past couple of days.”

“Yeah, turns out I love PowerPoint.”

Azzi finally cautions a glance up, and Paige is looking at her, completely serious. The eye contact seriously messes with her ability to make sound decisions.

“Okay,” Azzi relents. “As long as you’re quiet for the next forty minutes, we can talk.”

Paige, dutifully, doesn’t say a word for the rest of Azzi’s worktime, letting everyone study in peace. And that’s how Azzi ends up in Paige’s bedroom an hour later, perched on the edge of her bed while Paige struggles with her laptop.

“Okay, fuck this,” Paige says after extensive fiddling. “My stupid fucking PowerPoint isn’t loading. What the hell.”

Every bone in Azzi’s body wants to take this as a sign from God, the fact that this PowerPoint isn’t working, that they’re not supposed to do this. She wants to walk out of the room—and this agreement—for good. But Paige is her best friend and Azzi had always been too loyal for her own good, so she sighs and says, “How about we just talk about it? Y’know, like normal people.”

Paige frowns but closes her laptop regardless. “Okay. So.”

“So…”

“First off,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t continue, “I just felt like I should probably say sorry for dragging you into this.” Paige scratches the back of her neck, always a little awkward when it comes to apologies. “I know it’s a lot to ask for.”

Azzi blinks, startled. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well…” should she back out? If she were going to, now’s her chance.

Azzi looks down at a scab on her knee. “I mean, that’s okay.”

Paige shifts in her seat, the stool creaking underneath her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve had to help with one of your ridiculous plans.” Azzi goes for lighthearted but knows it falls flat under the weight of what she’s going to have to do.

“Okay.” When Azzi looks up, Paige is staring at her suspiciously. She wonders just how bad of an actress she must be for Paige, the same Paige who hasn’t yet detected Azzi’s somewhat obvious, six-years-long crush on her, to see right through her. But then she just shrugs and continues, aloof like she always is. “So then I wanted to ask you about what you think we should do about…all this.”

“…Okay?”

“I was thinking we should get into the, like. The specifics.”

Azzi rolls her eyes. “Paige, just tell me.”

Paige gnaws at her lip until it turns white and Azzi starts to worry it might bleed, but then she says, “We need a sex timeline.”

If Azzi were drinking water, she would have surely spit it out.

“A what?” she asks, sort of incredulous. Paige has said a lot of crazy things before but nothing quite like that.

“Okay, my bad, weird way to put it.” Paige grins as if all of this is funny to her. “What I mean is we need a story to tell my family, our friends. Like, why did we start dating? When was our first kiss? What’s our song? Have we, you know…gone to the penthouse and freaked it?”

Azzi throws herself back onto the bed. Paige’s bed. Which she is just now realizing is probably going to be the bed that many of these fictional events are going to take place in. “Paige.”

Paige is giggling now, which is endearing because Paige doesn’t giggle often. If only it weren’t at Azzi’s expense. “We need to figure it out, for real! People are going to ask questions.”

“People are not going to ask those kinds of questions.”

“Um, excuse me.” Paige stands and walks over until she’s at the bed, pulling Azzi’s legs off the edge playfully. “Have you met our friends? KK’s not shy with that shit.”

Azzi’s ankles instinctively go around the back of Paige’s thighs, but she’s in a certain mindset due to their current conversation and the casual gesture suddenly seems much less innocent than usual. She unwraps them, pulling her legs from Paige’s grasp as discreetly as possible. “So we’re planning on telling them we’re dating, too?”

Paige shrugs. “Yeah. You weren’t?”

“I don’t…” Azzi straightens up as Paige sits beside her, their hips touching. “We spend every day with them, P. Don’t you think it’ll be hard to keep up the act that much?”

“Yeah, probably. But that’s also why I wanna do it.” As usual, Paige sounds completely sure of herself. “We only have a couple weeks until Montana and I wanna make sure we get enough practice acting like a couple.”

Azzi still feels uneasy about the whole thing, but Paige is right—they can’t get onto a plane as best friends and get off it a convincing pair of girlfriends.

Azzi’s face heats at the term. Girlfriends. But that’s what they’ll be, isn’t it?

“I was thinking we’ll tell them next week,” Paige says. “We’ll ask them to hang out and then drop it on them that we’ve been dating since March.” Paige must recognize the look on Azzi’s face, because she puts a hand on her knee—which does absolutely nothing to help. “Is that cool with you?”

Azzi can’t say all of the things she’s thinking right now, so instead she settles for, “Yeah, no.” She pauses, her feet on Paige’s fuzzy carpet, and decides this will be the last time she lets herself doubt this.

“I think that’s perfect.”

————————————

One week later, three Saturdays from the end the school year, Azzi sits with a bowl of popcorn in her lap feeling like she might hurl.

“Why are you acting so weird, Fudd?” KK asks, and Azzi startles at her name, looking at the freshman who’s sitting on the floor in front of her and giving her a weird look.

“Leave her alone, Camera,” Paige says, settling into the couch next to Azzi. “What movie we watching?”

They are all crammed into a dorm, as they often are, excited for a chill team movie night in the midst of finals season. Little do the girls know, they will be getting entertainment from more than just the movie tonight.

“No, KK’s right,” Ice says, scrolling through Netflix on the TV. “Azzi’s been acting super weird.”

Azzi, somewhat offended (she thought her acting skills were pretty decent) looks around the room for help. Instead, the girls all just nod their agreement.

Paige nudges her and raises her eyebrows, and Azzi knows exactly what that look means.

“You don’t have to tell us what’s up if you don’t want,” Inês says from her place on the other side of Azzi, dipping her hand into their shared popcorn. It almost makes Azzi want to back out.

Almost.

Putting on her bravest face, Azzi nods and turns to face their friends. “Paige and I have something we’d like to tell you.”

There’s something odd about the silence that follows this, the way the girls on the floor look at each other before turning their bodies to face the couch, the stragglers sitting in the loveseat and at the dining table leaning forward almost imperceptibly.

Azzi tenses up as she is suddenly under the scrutiny of eleven other girls. How is she going to lie to them? How is this ever going to work?

Paige, through some form of best-friend-telepathy, senses Azzi’s struggle and places a comforting hand on her back. “I can say it.”

This isn’t what they practiced, but Azzi is too grateful and too distracted by the hand on her back to worry about going off-script.

“We’ve been wanting to tell y’all for a while,” Paige says. “But we also wanted to just keep it to ourselves for a little bit.”

It sounds so natural, and effortless, and Azzi can feel herself slipping into this role for the first time. She pretends the hand on her back is more than friendly, the nerves in her stomach are something other than guilt, the things Paige is about to say are true.

If one good thing is going to come out of any of this, it’ll be this feeling of contentment that Azzi will get to have, at least for a little while. And maybe she’s okay with that.

“Do you guys remember that party we went to a couple months ago?” Paige asks. Her nails scratch over Azzi’s shirt, making her shiver.

“Yeah…” Nika says at the table in the corner. Aubrey rests her chin in her palms, looking suspiciously like she’s trying not to smile. For some reason, Ice and KK are clutching each other’s hands.

“Well, when Azzi and I got home we just decided to stay together in her dorm…” Paige trails off like she’s hesitant to continue, and half the girls lean closer to them while the other half look a little too relaxed. Ice is now glaring at KK, who’s…beaming?

“Something happened between us that night.” Paige looks at Azzi now, and even though this is what they were supposed to do the look in her eyes still takes Azzi’s breath for just a moment. She has dreamed of Paige looking at her like this for years, and now it is finally happening, and Azzi thinks she would do anything to make this all real.

Paige opens her mouth to continue, but before she can, KK jumps to her feet and squeals, and Ice throws the remote on the ground with an angry, “Fuck!”

Azzi and Paige both startle, and Azzi loves the way Paige’s hand fists up her shirt in surprise, but then the notices that all the other girls don’t seem surprised or confused at all—rather, they all seem to be having similar reactions to KK. Nika and Aubrey are even singing something, and Inês has jumped up from her spot beside Azzi to join the others in what looks a lot like a celebration. Why are they all chest-bumping each other?

Finally, Azzi finds it in herself to speak. “Guys, what…?”

KK kneels to wrap her arms around a sulking Ice and looks at them both, eyes glimmering. “Whatchu mean, what?”

“I don’t…” Paige releases Azzi’s shirt, her hand falling to the seat behind her. “We haven’t even finished telling you yet.”

“Are y’all actually this dumb?” KK asks, before squealing in Ice’s ear and then throwing herself onto the couple on the couch. “Ugh! I’m so happy for you two lovebirds.”

“Lovebirds…?” Azzi asks, but the room is too raucous for her to be heard and when she looks at Paige, all she gets is an equally confused head shake in return.

“My babies are growing up,” Aubrey says, wiping an invisible tear, and Aaliyah comfortingly pats her shoulder.

“Baby,” Amari says, smiling at the both of them, “we have known.”

“Uh,” Paige says, thrown off for once in her life. “How?”

“Because y’all are the most obvious fucking couple in the country,” Ice chips in. She is still pouting, even with Ayanna patting her on the head and Jana rubbing her shoulders.

During the past week, Paige and Azzi have been dropping a few hints here and there in the hopes that they could almost ease their friends into it before telling them, to make things more believable. But obvious? Obvious enough for all of them to know? That’s a stretch.

Apparently thinking the same thing, Paige laughs awkwardly, trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation. “We thought we were pretty good at hiding it.”

“Yeah, right.” Caroline flicks Azzi’s forehead good-naturedly. “KK and Ice have had a bet running for, like, six months now.”

At this, Azzi tenses up, and Paige turns to her, gives her a cautious, confused smile. “That long?”

“I started the bet, of course,” KK pipes in. “You two are so in love.” She sighs dreamily and then nudges Ice with her foot. “You owe me my five-hundy, girlypop.”

“You didn’t even actually win, this doesn’t count,” Ice grumbles. “We made the bet six months ago and they only started dating in March. And also, I thought they’d be way too pussy to tell us yet.”

Paige perks up at this, her unusual awkwardness gone as fast as it came. “Hey! I ain’t pussy about nothing!” and KK chimes in with her own protests of, “Girl, boo! It does too still count, you’re just a sore-ass loser!”

Azzi can’t bring herself to say anything, because their teammates believed Azzi and Paige gave been dating longer ago than this arrangement was even brought up. And that means they must have seen Azzi’s feelings for Paige, and whatever the other side of that is, and they don’t really act like a couple, do they?

“Anyway,” Ice continues, a little less pouty now, “I totally thought I’d have to walk in on you two fucking or something before you ever really came clean.”

Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. Paige’s fingernails dig into her back a little bit.

“I actually can’t believe none of us have walked in on them fucking yet,” Nika muses, and the room quiets down a little, everyone mumbling their assent.

“Maybe they’re celibate,” KK reasons, then fixes them with a look. “Are y’all celibate?”

Paige laughs, and then bends close to Azzi’s ear and mutters, “Told you so.”

For the rest of the night, Azzi’s neck is hot.

This might be more complicated than she thought.

#paige bueckers #azzi fudd #pazzi #paige buckets #the people's princess #uconn wbb #wbb #wcbb #fake dating #pazzi fics

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writingwithciara · 7 months ago

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broken legos -matt sturniolo-

summary: matt and y/n are both lego lovers so every month, they buy a set to work on together. it’s become such a normal part of matt’s routine that he doesn’t know what to do when y/n’s attention and time is turned elsewhere

word count: 5.1k

pairings: matt sturniolo x best friend reader, chris sturniolo x platonic reader

notes: i love how much matt likes legos and since he's just the cutest, i had to write this for him.

masterlist

y/n and matt weren’t really friends until the triplets 11th birthday. she attended their party only because they had invited everyone in their classes and because her mom was good friends with mary lou.

her mom had picked out an individual present for each of them. they each got a different lego set so when the boys unwrapped their gifts, y/n’s eyes widened and she looked at her mom.

“how come i can never get a lego set, mom?” she pouted.

“because, sweetheart. you never ask for one.”

“you can help me with mine if you want.” matt suggested shyly. he smiled at her so kindly and y/n found herself wondering how she had never really wanted to be friends with him in the first place.

“okay. deal.” y/n returned the smile as both her mother and mary lou beamed with pride. they were finally getting what they wanted. their kids hanging out together.

they got lego sets on their birthday every year and y/n would work with matt to put them together. what started off as an annual thing, quickly turned into a monthly thing for the two of them.

the triplets had just turned 20 & y/n bought matt a ginormous harry potter lego collection that was surely going to take up a majority of their time.

matt was excited for it. maybe even more so than y/n because over their 9 years of friendship, he had developed feelings for his best friend. he knew it wasn’t right to have the feelings but there was nothing he could do about them. their time together became special to him and he cherished every second he got to spend with her.

they immediately began working their way through the diagon alley sets and the process was about to start on the hogwarts castle.

y/n clicked the last two bricks for the gringotts bank together and looked at her creation.

“it looks so perfect. don’t you think?”

“i agree, y/n/n. you killed it.”

“no, we did it together. as a team.”

“we make an incredible team, don’t we?”

“yeah. we sure do.” y/n smiled and looked at the box that contained to castle. “how long do you think that things going to take us?”

“not too long hopefully. i wanna display it and feel proud of something for once.”

“matt, you’re a youtube star. you should be proud of all the hard work you’ve put into this career.”

“i am proud of it. but sometimes, it lacks a certain feeling. i love my fans to death but it gets overwhelming and the only way i find any escape is the time i spend with you putting lego sets together.”

“i understand that feeling all too well, matthew.” she looked at her phone to check the time. “i should be headed out soon. i have to work tomorrow and the commute is going to kill me so i need some rest.”

“why don’t you stay here tonight? i can drive you in the morning.”

“thats sweet, matt. but no. thanks for the offer but i’m fine going home now.” she smiled and stood up. matt followed her to the kitchen.

“i’m serious. we live closer to where you work so it wouldn’t take as long to get there.” he looked at her. “do you just not want to spend time with me anymore?”

“what? no. i will never feel that way about you. you know that.”

“no, i know. it’s a stupid question anyway.”

“i do want to spend time with you. i always do. it’s my favorite thing to do. but if i keep spending nights here, someone’s gonna notice and your fans will freak out and jump to conclusions.”

“yeah i guess you’re right.” he sighed. “but please? just for tonight? i can tell you’re tired and i don’t want you driving home like that. don’t know what i would do if something bad happened to you.”

“okay. i’ll stay. but only for tonight. and only because you said please.”

“that makes me feel so much better.” matt smiled. "you can take the bed and i’ll sleep out on the couch.”

“don’t be ridiculous. your bed is big enough. it’s always been big enough for the both of us. you’re sleeping in here with me.”

“well if you insist.” matt didn’t put up much of a fight. he knew she was going to make him sleep in the bed with her.

“i’m gonna go change into some comfier clothes then. see you in about 10.” y/n grabbed a pair of sweatpants and one of matt’s old t-shirts then went to the bathroom. matt quickly changed then sat in his computer chair to wait. when she came out, they both got under the covers and went to bed.

matt waited until he knew she was dead asleep before grabbing his pillow and going out to the couch. he knew she’d be upset but he could handle that. what he couldn’t handle was the warm feeling rising in his chest.

he had convinced himself that his feelings were just those of a little crush. but the more time he spent with her, the stronger they got. he had known her his whole life and despite having only been friends for 9 years, every time they talked, he was finding something new about her that he liked. he’d been trying to think less about her but it was impossible. so he started distancing himself a little.

to say y/n was upset with the distance would be an understatement. her heart was breaking. after a week, she went to chris to see if he knew anything.

“i actually have no idea why he’s being so moody lately. maybe he was talking to a girl who only wanted to use him and he doesn’t want to tell us because he’s ashamed or something.”

“that’s horrible, chris. do you think that’s what really happened?” y/n could feel her heart breaking at the thought of someone hurting matt in any way.

“i doubt that’s what happened, but there’s so many possibilities as to why he’s distancing himself from everyone.”

“yeah i guess.” y/n sighed and set the lego box on the kitchen table. “we were supposed to start this lego set this weekend but he hasn’t been talking to me so i guess i’ll have to do it by myself.”

“wait. i can help you if you want.”

“that’s nice of you, chris. but you don’t have to make up for your brothers absence in my life.”

“hey, you’re my friend too. in fact, you were my friend first actually. so i would love to start hanging out with you again.”

“okay fair point.” y/n looked from the set to chris, contemplating on his offer. “yeah. let’s do it.”

“cool. can’t wait to start.”

“wanna start tonight?”

“yeah sure.” chris smiled. “wait, i can’t tonight. we’re filming a video tonight.”

“oh. tomorrow then?”

“we could actually start tonight if you don’t mind hanging around until we finish filming.”

“you doing a car video or one in the kitchen?”

“kitchen.”

“then can i chill in your room while you film it?”

“why don’t you sit behind the camera and be like an assistant?”

“i’ve never done that before. what will i have to do?”

“you’ll just have to hand us things when we need them. and don’t worry about being on camera. i’ll have nick edit you out.”

“thanks chris. i appreciate it.” she looked around the room. “are the boys even home?”

“no. matt took nick to pick up supplies for the video.”

“why didn’t you go with them? you always do.”

“i had a feeling you’d be stopping by so i figured i’d stay home. didn’t want to miss my opportunity to see you.”

“although you weren’t the triplet i was hoping to talk to, i’m glad you were here.”

“i’m here whenever you need someone to talk to.”

“i appreciate that. thanks, christopher.”

“chris, we’re home!” nick called from the garage. “come help with the stuff.”

“one sec!” he yelled back and turned to y/n. “be right back.” he was gone before she could reply. seconds later, matt was coming up the stairs. he noticed her sitting at the table and stopped in front of the stairs. nick bumped into him and almost fell down the stairs. but once nick saw y/n too, he understood.

“matt, what the fuck? stop acting so weird. she’s your best friend, for crying out loud.” he whispered to his brother.

“just trying to figure out what she’s doing here.” matt replied, rather loudly, causing y/n’s head to shoot up. she noticed matt and sighed.

of course he would make that comment, she thought.

chris heard what matt said and pushed past his brothers to sit next to y/n.

“i invited her here to work on this lego set after we’re done filming tonight. speaking of which, she’s going to be our off camera assistant for the video. so if you have a problem with her being here, i suggest you speak up. or don’t. because she’s staying whether you like it or not.”

“i’m cool with it. it’s not a bad idea to have someone helping out off camera every once in a while.”

“sure. whatever works.” matt waved his hand around and retreated to his room. nick turned to his friend and shook his head.

“please excuse him. he’s been moody all day.”

“kid needs some action. let’s be real.”

“we could probably arrange something.” y/n scrolled through her phone, only half paying attention to the conversation. when she looked up, chris raised his eyebrow. “what? he clearly hasn’t been laid in a while so maybe we should find him someone.”

“i understood what you meant. but i never imagined the suggestion coming from you.” nick chuckled.

“i’m full of surprises.”

“alright. let’s get this video over with.” matt walked out of his room and stood at the kitchen table. he eyed chris and y/n who were conversing in a tone nobody else could hear. she glanced at matt then laughed at what chris said before the two of them were joining matt and nick in the kitchen.

y/n hit the record button as instructed and chris began introducing the video. she watched as the boys each said what they were going to do for the video. matt’s eyes lit up with excitement when he was describing his portion of the video and for a second, it made y/n’s heart melt. until he made eye contact with her and rolled his eyes. whatever she was feeling for matt was quick to disappear.

after the video was filmed, matt headed back to his room and nick went to his. y/n sat with chris at the table as they began the lego set.

“so, do you think matt’s problem is that he hasn’t fucked anybody lately and it’s just built up aggression?”

“that’s one way to put it. but yeah. it all adds up.” chris was focused on the section of the set he was tasked with assembling. his tongue darted in and out as he searched for each piece.

“i guess so.” y/n glanced behind chris at the hallway that went to matt’s bedroom. she prayed he would walk out at that very moment and everything between them would be fixed. but that didn’t happen.

over the next few hours, chris was focused more on the task at hand than y/n was so when he fell asleep at the table, she wasn’t surprised.

“chris, i think you need some rest.” she giggled at his half asleep response as he swatted her hand away.

“five more minutes. i want to get this part done.” he held the pieces up to show her what was left. she looked down at the diagram and smiled.

“that part is finished, chrissy. looks amazing. you did good.”

“thank you.”

“do you want to head to bed now?”

“will you be joining me?”

“i gotta clean up a bit but i’ll be down there in a few minutes, okay?”

“yay.” chris stood up and pulled the lego piece from his cheek. he nearly tripped down the stairs and when he got to his room, he was out like a light.

y/n on the other hand was still very much awake. as she cleaned up their work area, she couldn’t help but glance towards matt’s room. her hope was shrinking. all she wanted was to confront him and ask why he was being such an ass lately. she wanted to yell at him for breaking her heart. but she knew that if she saw him, she would crumble. no yelling would take place on her end. and at this point, she didn’t even care if he yelled at her. she just wanted to see him.

she had put the lego pieces into their designated bin and set the already assembled parts off to the side. just as she was about to head down to chris’ room, she heard a door open and footsteps entered the kitchen. she turned around and saw matt at the refrigerator. his back was turned so he didn’t notice her standing there.

“matthew bernard, we need to talk.”

“no we don’t.” he shook his head, grabbed his root beer and headed back towards his room. y/n was not about to let him go without a fight. she immediately followed and just as matt was about to get comfy at his computer, she pushed the door open and stomped inside.

“you are not pulling this shit with me, matt. it’s complete bullshit.”

“god, do you ever mind your own business?” he set his can down and rolled his eyes. “i don’t owe you anything.”

“as your best friend, i think your absence needs to be explained.”

“we can’t be friends anymore. there’s your explanation.”

“not good enough.” she sat on the edge of his bed and stared at him before averting her gaze and fiddling with her fingers. “why don’t you want to be friends anymore? did i do something wrong?”

“yes. now please leave me alone. i’m tired.”

“okay.” y/n sighed and left his room without putting up more of a fight. matt sighed and leaned back in his chair. it was killing him to hurt her this way but he had to do it. his feelings weren’t reciprocated and he needed to distance himself, whatever it took.

the next morning, y/n was quiet throughout breakfast, which was unusual to chris. she was normally a yapper like he was but when she responded to his cheery good morning with a slight head nod, he knew something was up. and he knew exactly what caused it. or more specifically, who caused her to go silent.

when they were finally alone, y/n broke down and told chris everything. she didn’t want him to be mad at matt so when she explained it all, it took all of her strength to keep him from confronting matt.

“please don’t. it’s not worth it.”

“bullshit it’s not. he’s ruining the most amazing friendship for something so stupid. he didn’t even tell you what you happened to do to cause this sudden change so he doesn’t get to be protected by you anymore. i have to kick his ass.”

“chris, please?”

“ugh, fine. but i don’t like this. you used to be so happy and calm. but now you’re the complete opposite. it changed overnight and i’m not happy about it.”

“i’ll be fine. i still have you and nick.” she smiled at her best friend. it was only a half smile. the one where chris could tell she didn’t want to do it. but he put his arm around her and smiled back.

“i’m gonna make you feel better.”

“and how do you plan on doing that, christopher?”

“by taking you to get lunch. your favorite.”

“you can’t drive, moron. but i appreciate the thought.”

“damn. what can we do that’s close to the house?”

“can we continue the lego set? we were getting so far before someone passed out.”

“hey, i was working really hard.”

“i know. you worked yourself into a deep sleep, darling.”

“if that’s what will make you happy, then let’s go finish the set.”

“yay.” y/n clapped her hands together and ran upstairs. chris chuckled and followed behind her.

“i’ll order your favorite food for lunch.” he pulled out her chair for her then sat next to her with a smile.

“chris, you don’t have to.”

“i know. but you’re my best friend and i love making you happy because i love you.”

“i love you too.”

and they both meant it. not romantically of course. but they both knew that their bond was unbreakable, even more so now than it had ever been.

matt walked out of his room when he heard y/n giggling. he didn’t expect to see y/n leaning her head on chris’ shoulder. it bothered him but there was nothing he could do about it. instead, he cleared his throat to make his presence known. y/n was the first to turn.

“oh. it’s just you. what do you want?”

“you to leave.” matt replied rather quickly, like he had been storing that answer away for this specific moment, causing y/n to stare at him in shock.

“fuck you, matt.” y/n looked at chris before sliding her chair away from the table. “i’m sorry, chris. but i can’t do this anymore.” she grabbed her phone and walked out the front door.

“what the fuck, matt?!?!” chris yelled at his brother before running after y/n.

matt watched them disappear and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. nick appeared seconds later and gave matt a look.

“what is wrong with you?” he didn’t even have to ask what happened. he heard the majority of it. “if that’s how you treat women, it’s no wonder you’re single.”

“hey, just back off. i need some space away from her.”

“and instead of telling her, like an adult, you just stopped talking to her entirely? except when you do actually speak to her, you’re the biggest asshole in the planet.” nick shook his head. “why do you need the space anyway?”

“it’s complicated, nick.” matt collapsed on the couch and took a breath before resting his head in his hands. “i’m in love with her.” for the first time since matt realized how he felt, the revelation felt real. someone else was now aware of the feelings.

“then tell her, you fucking dumbass. this isn’t healthy. for either of you. you’re breaking more hearts than needed.”

“i can’t tell her. she’s my best friend.”

“correction. she was your best friend, up until about a week ago, when you became a complete dickhead. just fucking talk to her.”

“i just can’t. it’s better this way.”

“for who, matt? for who?” nick slapped his brothers shoulder and returned to his room, leaving matt alone.

outside, y/n made it halfway down the street before chris caught up to her. when he was beside her, she slowed her pace and looked at her feet.

“i’m sorry for leaving like that, chris. i just can’t get it through my head that i was best friends with someone for 9 years and now it’s just all gone to shit.” she kicked a stone in her path and turned to enter the park. she sat on one swing while chris sat next to her on the other. “i just don’t understand what i even did for him to be acting this way, you know? if i had any idea, it might take the weight off my shoulders. but either way, it sucks.”

“yeah. i know.” chris looked over at her and sighed. “i wish things were different.”

“why couldn’t i have fallen in love with you instead? we have so much more in common and you’re actually nice to me. you care about me and matt does not.”

“you love him?” chris’ eyes widened at his best friends revelation. y/n froze for a brief moment before making the swing move side to side.

“yeah, i guess i do. and part of me just wants to yell at him and tell him he’s breaking my heart and the other part just wants to yell at him. which would be fine but i know i could never yell at him. it sucks.”

“i understand. it’s confusing, but i think i get it. and if we loved each other, then life would be simpler.”

“life is never simple for me. it’s like the universe is telling me i’m never meant to be happy.”

“why don’t you try telling matt how you feel? maybe he feels the same.”

“um, did you miss the part where i said the universe doesn’t want me to be happy? because in a perfect world, matt would definitely have feelings for me.”

“you guys are so similar and the fact that neither of you has realized that the other one is in love with you, is ridiculous. i mean, it’s pretty obvious how much you guys truly love each other.”

“i don’t think it’s-“

“oh please. the stares, the fact you’re together 24/7, the inside jokes, the way you blush when he even acknowledges you. the constant teasing. the hand holding in public so y’all don’t get separated from each other. you guys are like the little 4x1 flat lego bricks.”

“come again?”

“you’re good on your own but when you’re attached together, it’s hard to pull you apart.”

“when did you become so wise, christopher?”

“i’ve always been wise. but for matters of the heart, i’m an expert.”

“says the guy who’s never had a girlfriend before.”

“i don’t want to commit to someone if they’re not gonna stick around. i want it to be real.”

“yeah i get that. but thank you for this talk. maybe i’ll talk to matt when i’m over next time.”

“why not stay tonight? we still have to finish that lego set.”

“i’m not ready to see matt.” she sighed. “but if we can do it in your room, i would consider staying tonight.”

“you got yourself a deal. and you can even have my bed tonight.”

“such a gentleman, christopher.” y/n stood from her swing and pulled chris up. “let’s go.”

when they got back home, matt was nowhere to be found. it was like y/n’s prayers had been answered.

they quickly got to work on finishing their lego set. chris played some quiet music in the background and helped put the finishing touches on the set. when it was finished, y/n smiled widely.

“thank you for this, chris.”

“it was my pleasure. and i know i wasn’t the triplet you pictured while working on this set, but i’m glad you let me help.”

“i’d pick you any day.” she patted his knee and stood up to stretch. “i’m gonna go get some snacks from the kitchen. want anything?”

“pepsi of course.”

“should’ve known.” she playfully shook her head and walked up to the kitchen. nick was in the living room and when he saw her, he smiled.

"hey. what are you up to?"

"just grabbing some snacks for chris and i. what are you up to?" she opened the fridge and grabbed the drinks before going to the pantry and looking through the snacks.

"matt said something to me earlier and i've been thinking about it for a few hours."

"what did he tell you?"

"i think that's something he needs to tell you himself."

"that would be easy if he was actually talking to me instead of being an asshole." y/n set the snacks on the counter and turned towards the living room. it was then that she noticed the flowers on the table. "what's this?" she walked closer and looked at them. there was a note under the flowers so she picked it up and read it. it was in matt's handwriting.

i know this may be a little too late but i needed to let you know that i am sorry for being so stupid. these are your favorite flowers and i will love you until the very last one dies. i promise.

y/n inspected the flowers and noticed that one of them was made entirely out of legos. "nick, were you aware of this?"

"i wasn't aware that this would be how he was going to tell you. but i knew he loved you." nick stood next to her and smiled. "what do you think?"

"is this why he's been an ass lately? because he loves me?"

"i think so." he put his hand on her shoulder and admired the flowers. "so he loves you. do you love him?"

"i do, actually. but this isn't fair. he can't treat me the way he has been & then try to make things better by giving me a lego flower."

"maybe you guys need to talk. he's in his room." nick nodded his head down the hallway before heading up to his room. y/n glanced at the snacks, then at the hallway that lead to matt's room. she grabbed the lego flower and the note then headed to matt's room. she knocked gently and the door swung open. upon seeing her, matt's gaze softened.

"hey." he looked at her hands and saw the flower. "i see you got the note."

"i did." she walked past matt and sat in his chair while he sat on the edge of his bed. "it's not fair, matt."

"what do you mean?"

"while i appreciate the lego flower, i don't appreciate the fact that you've treated me like crap for a week and thought you could make up for it with the note and the flowers."

"i figured it wouldn't be enough but just so you know, i'm prepared to do whatever it takes to win you back. you being with chris just isn't natural."

"me and chris? is that why you've been upset these past few days? you think i'm with chris?"

"you've been spending so much time with him lately. and you guys have so much chemistry."

"well, that's ridiculous."

"so you're not with chris?"

"no. but i've come to the realization that my life would be easier if i had just fallen in love with him instead of you."

"you fell in love with me? when?"

"like 5 years ago, i think. and it's been torture just being your friend for so long. every time we'd start a new lego set, it was like falling in love with you all over again. your face would light up like a kid in a candy store and i found it so endearing whenever you'd receive a new set."

"if it helps, it's been torture for me too. i've been pretending for years that i had no feelings for you whatsoever. and i realize now that there is absolutely no real excuse for the way i acted recently. but these feelings are fairly new to me. and i thought i had gotten over what i thought was just a crush. but it turns out, i love you. and i'm always going to love you, no matter what. you can stay mad at me and that's fine. because i love you." matt's leg began to bounce as he confessed everything. y/n got up from the chair and sat beside him. "and it's been torture to see you and chris working on lego sets when that was our thing."

"working on lego sets with chris meant nothing to me. sure it was fun and i enjoy spending time with him. but it was nothing compared to doing them with you." y/n placed her hand on his calmly, stopping his leg from shaking. he looked at her and when their eyes met, matt felt like he was on fire. like he was falling in love again.

"can we start over?"

"and erase our entire history? not a chance." y/n smiled. "let's just pretend the last week didn't happen and we can pick up where we left off, if that's okay with you."

"it's more than okay with me." matt chuckled. "just promise me you won't work on anymore lego sets with chris."

"from now on, i will only work on lego sets with the person i love."

"i love you too." matt smiled and placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"you still have the hogwarts castle? or did you do it yourself?"

"i was hoping to start it with you."

"good. we can start it in the morning."

"why not right now?" matt pouted when y/n stood up.

"because i promised chris snacks and a pepsi. don't want to make him wait any longer for them."

"can't you just deliver them to him then come back? i miss you and i'm sure he'll understand."

"we'll see. but you'll understand if i don't return tonight?"

"of course. chris is important to you and i love that you guys get along so well."

"and i'm sure he'll understand it when i tell him i want to come up here to spend time with you."

"hurry back, love." matt chuckled and watched y/n disappear from his room. she walked into chris' room with the snacks and smiled at him.

"what took you so long?"

"i made up with matt and turns out, he loves me." she couldn't contain the excitement she was feeling.

"i told you he did. and i'm so happy for you." he chuckled and opened his pepsi. "i take it you want to spend time with matt again, right?"

"you're not mad, are you?"

"of course not. you're happy and that makes me happy." chris smiled. "just don't abandon me altogether."

"i promise to make time for you too, chris." she kissed his head and ran back up to matt's room, jumping on his bed. "he understood."

"great. now i can do something i've been wanting to do for months." matt pulled her close and finally kissed her. the feeling of her lips fitting perfectly with his was enough to make him feel like he was dreaming. thankfully, he wasn't. it was real and matt couldn't get enough.

being together was good for the both of them.

#matt sturniolo #matt stuniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo

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writers-hes · 7 months ago

Text

Growing Pains | c. berzatto x reader

A broken promise between friends hangs heavy in the Chicago air. He was haunted by a loss, seeking refuge in the city he never considered home. She was a wisp of stardust who finds herself back in the city she always considered home. A rent-dispute sets the stage for them to meet again, only to realize that dreams, both realized and abandoned, are so much brighter when you’re younger. (trauma, mentions of alcoholism, sexual harrassment, angst, some bad words…) A/N: This is entirely different from my other fics and I hope that you enjoy it. I really do.

MASTER LISTS TAGLIST “I want to become an artist,” That was what nine year old Carmen Bezatto told you when you asked him what his dream was. He was shy and kept to himself. You were different. You were magnetic and the boys in class all had a crush on you. The teachers loved you and the girls from the higher years doted on you.

“I want to become an actress or a singer,” you confessed, sitting beside him. The crayon that he was holding was blue and he set it down. “What are you drawing?”

“A car,” You peered over his shoulder.

“You’re really good Carmen,”

“Carmy,” he whispered, his heart beating fast. You look at him in confusion. “Call me Carmy,”

“Why do you want to become an artist?” you asked him. You were looking at the drawing of spaghetti and meatballs on his sketchpad. He drew it with a crayon.

“It’s what I’m good at,” he shrugged. “I’m not good with words but I’m good at this. Why do you wanna become an actress?”

“I want people to love me! I want to be so rich and buy my mom everything she needs. I want to star in movies. I can also cry on command. See?” you asked. He watches you clench your eyebrows and wobble your lip. Soon the first tear falls. He’s never been so mesmerized by another person before.

“Carmy,”

“Hm?”

“Let’s promise to achieve our dreams and revisit this place after we’ve done it,” you said, sticking out your pinky for him. He beams at you, the rare smiles he gives and intertwines his pinky with you.

“I promise,”

You two made unlikely friends. Carmy was still on the sidelines when he reached high school while you were still in the spotlight. You joined theater. Carmy was sure there were some who still harbored feelings for you. Who wouldn’t? You were the same magnetic, charismatic, charming girl he knew from childhood. Everyone was so sure that you’re on your path to become an actress.

“Carmy!” He turns around and sees you rushing towards him with a smile on your face. You loop your arm with his and walk to the next class together. “You didn’t wait for me,”

“Sorry,” he chuckles lightly, seeing you pout. “You were just talking to some guys and I didn’t want to just stand there,”

“Sorry,”

“It’s okay,” he looks at you.

“I saw you talking to Claire,” you teased. He told you once that he had a crush on her. “What did you guys talk about?”

“She just asked me about homework,” he says looking away.

“You’re so cute, Carmy!” you gushed, pinching his cheek with your free hand. He blushes harder. He should be used to such remarks by now.

“Let’s just go to class,”

“Wait, hold that pose,” he says. School ended and he found you sleeping at the library. He decided to sit in front of you until you woke up. The sun was already setting and it seeped through the windows of the library.

“Huh?” you asked. You were craning your neck to the side to stretch it.

“Hold that pose. I’m sketching,” You look at the paper and the pencil in front of him. “I’m trying to draw different angles,”

“Alright,” you replied. You stayed like that until Carmy says that it’s alright. You watched him draw more details and add more shadows. “You’re really good…but why do I have a mustache?”

“It’s called hatching,” he chuckled. “But it looks like a mustache,” He erases some shades and shows you his sketch. “I know it’s not good…”

“It’s good!” You snatch the piece of paper from him and hold up the portrait beside you. “See? Looks exactly like me,”

“Your nose is crooked,”

“Carmy!” you pouted. He laughed, his curls falling down his face as he hid his smile from you. Your heart beats fast and you look at him. It was your first time actually taking him in. He is beautiful.

“Let’s go home?” he asked after laughing. He tries to take the drawing from you but you snatch it away.

“This is mine as a punishment for saying that my nose is crooked!” you told him, opening the folder that you were sleeping on. He tries to chase it but you keep it.

“I’ll give you a better one!”

“I like this,” you told him earnestly, keeping the folder in your backpack. “When you’re a really famous artist, I’ll sell it for a really expensive price! From Carmen Anthony Berzatto’s earlier work. Come on, Carmy! Let’s get out of here. You promised to walk me home today,” he heard you say. He stands up from his seat and waits for you. He takes your lunchbox for you as usual. Dede likes to cook your and Carmy’s lunches. She makes him bring your lunchbox home. Carmy thinks that she’s just making sure that you’ll still be his friend.

The walk home was usual, your and Carmy’s lunches on either hands, you trying to catch up on his steps no matter how much he tried to slow down. Carmy walks you home and you thank him, hugging him to the side before leaving. You watch him walk away from your window.

Looking back, you and Carmy had always been close. However, sometime in your senior year, you watched him pull himself away from you. It was quick. It felt like someone plucked a rib from you. It was painful. One day, he just decided not to talk to you as much. He doesn’t wait for you during theater practice anymore and he hasn’t been walking home with you. You’d always be walking home, alone. Carmy wasn’t there anymore.

“Carmy, can we talk?” you asked, running after him when he ignored you again. You look up at him with sad eyes and he just looks away.

“For what?”

“Oh, well—I just…” you stammered. You looked at his sweater instead of his face. “I just wanted to know if everything’s fine?”

“It is,” He shrugs you off like you didn’t matter.

“Oh,”

You nod to yourself, looking away. What else was there to say?

“Um, do you…do you want to walk together?” you asked.

“No,”

Your heart drops and you swallow thickly. He hears you whisper something that he doesn’t remember anymore. All he knew was that he felt like absolute shit. His mom has been drinking more, Mikey was pushing him away, Richie was giving him a hard time, and Sugar locked herself in her room most of the time. He hasn’t been thinking straight and his home environment was just so draining that he forgot to reserve some of his energy for you. You leave without waiting for him to reply. He watches you run away from him. He should’ve ran after you that afternoon.

The day after that, Carmy thought of seeking you out. He wanted to apologize for how he behaved the past couple of days. He wanted to tell you everything but you were nowhere to be seen.

You returned to school a week after that due to a family emergency. He lost his courage by then. The teachers were kind enough to give you extra credit and you aced them all because soon, you were getting acceptance letters from colleges. When you were younger, you and Carmy both agreed to go to the same university that offered the courses you wanted to major in. You both agreed to go to the same college and rent an apartment together. You were just about to knock on the Berzattos’ door to ask Carmy if your plan would still push through. What Dede said broke your heart, though.

“He didn’t tell you? He left for Copenhagen last night. He got a scholarship from Noma!” she excitedly told you. She blows smoke away from you and your face falters. You shook it off though and decided to congratulate Dede. You emailed Carmy that night but he never replied. You remembered during graduation when Carmy’s family asked you to have a picture with him. You both stood awkwardly as Dede, oblivious as ever, clicked on the shutter multiple times. Sugar felt uncomfortable and looked for your mom but she was nowhere to be seen. Mikey and Richie were giggling among themselves as usual. You went home with a defeated sigh. The acceptance letter in your hand was clenched tightly. You remembered how you and Carmy filled up the forms together. He was fussing over every detail while you laughed at him. Where did it all go wrong?

Your hand shook when you sat on your bed. You couldn’t even celebrate the fact that you were going to college—that you were about to pursue your dreams.

The first person that Carmy wanted to talk to after learning about Michael’s death was you.

He didn’t give himself the time to cry over him; just like how he didn’t give himself the time to cry over his mistake of leaving you without saying anything. Mikey always told him that he was weak because he was sensitive and was in tune with his emotions. He didn’t know that he always had to have to guard up at his own home because he was scared of what his mom and brother might do next.

When he arrived in Chicago for the first time in years, his heart dropped. You weren’t there to pick him up. Who was he kidding? He left you to yourself without so much of an explanation. He didn’t even tell you that he changed his dream. Was it a dream? Or did he pursue it out of spite? To show Mikey that he was better than him? He wanted Mikey to look at him with such jealousy…such envy because Mikey didn’t graduate from college. He was a drop out with too many plans and too many failures. Carmy was better than him. Carmy managed to go to Noma without anyone’s help. He wanted Mikey to seethe when he sees him. So why was he in his brother’s failing sandwich shop instead of cooking for the President?

He’s been looking for you for weeks now but he couldn’t see you. He couldn’t ask Richie because he was ashamed. He just wanted to walk home with you again. He was sure that Sugar knew where you were. She was the type to be in touch with everyone but he never brought himself to it.

When he was in a relationship with Claire, you were momentarily put on his back burner. She was beautiful, he knew that. As kids, you’d always find a way to make Claire talk to Carmy.

“Remember Y/N?” Claire asked. Carmy’s back tenses as he prepares to go to what will soon be The Bear. Claire watched him put his white shirt from the bed.

“Hm?”

“I don’t know. She always found a way to make us talk to each other,” she shrugged. “I used to think you guys would end up together…or were together,”

“Why-why would you think that?” Carmy asked, facing her. He furrows his brows like he was so confused. The notion was foreign to him.

“Everybody thought so too. You walked her home everyday and you’d draw her all the time. You guys were so close. Some guys didn’t bother to ask her out because they thought you were together. I didn’t make a move on you because I thought the same,” she swallows. She feels shy about what she just confessed to him. Did he catch it? “Everyone thought you broke up because you suddenly stopped hanging out,”

Carmy stood there, speechless. What was he supposed to say to that? Why did his girlfriend say that?

“But it doesn’t matter anymore,” he hears her. She gets out of bed and walks over to him. She hangs her arms on his shoulder. “We’re together now,”

“Yeah. We are,” he says, kissing her forehead. He didn’t feel how embarrassed Claire felt. He was thinking about something else.

“Should we invite Y/N to the opening?”

His question caused the chaos to stop. Sugar drops the pen that she used on whatever it was she was writing while Richie raises his eyebrows.

“Or not,”

Sugar looks at him quizzically. She looks at Richie next and then, Eibra. They knew you. You frequented the sandwich shop with your mom when you were younger. Carmy brought you here to piss on Michael.

“What?” he asked. “We don’t have to. Fuck—okay, let’s not,” he stammered, his last word was weak. Sydney was confused. “Anyways, I uh—fuck. Let’s take five,”

“What?” Sugar asks. “No, no, no. We have to finalize this list now, Carm.”

“Yeah, I know that. I-I—“

“Even if we were to invite her, I don’t know where she is anymore,” His heart stops beating. He was so sure she knew.

“What?”

“She left for college,” Richie explained. “Seemed like her whole family left with her too. Their house is occupied by a new family now. We’re surprised you didn’t know. She told us that you guys were still in contact when you left,”

It was his turn to be confused. His mind was racing. Were you alright? Where are you now? Do you remember him? Do you still have the drawing he made of you?

“I totally forgot about her,” Richie confessed, chuckling. Carmy looks at him, his eyes turning into slits. His cousin raises his hand in surrender.

“You didn’t bother to ask?” he asks Sugar. “You grew up with her too, right?” He couldn't help but feel resentful. Why didn’t she treasure you like she treasured everyone else?

“Carm, she was your friend,” He runs his hand through his hair. He closes his eyes and counts to three. “Besides, she disappeared without a word…just like you did. As far as I know, she left first and then, her mom did.”

“Let’s take five,” he declares before leaving.

He rummages through his phone and tries to remember his old email address. He really wanted you to be there. He wanted to hear about your dreams and he wanted you to hear about his. He never found the courage to look you up on the internet. He didn’t want to know the hard truth.

His hands tremble as he holds his phone when Claire’s name pops up from the screen. He shouldn’t be worrying about you—he should be worried about Claire. The girl he loves. The girl he’s always dreamed of. Right, Claire. Claire. Claire Dunlop. They met again by the frozen aisle of the store.

“Hey,”

“Carm,” Her voice soothes him. “Just wanted to…check-in. You left feeling kind of not okay? How are you now?”

“I’m good,” he says. “Just remembered Y/N. I wanted to—uh, I wanted to invite her to the opening…if-if that’s okay with you?”

“Of course, it is. She was your best friend,”

“I don’t know how to reach her…would you know?” he swallows. He felt like shit for asking about another girl to his girlfriend. “Claire?”

“Hm, let me ask around. I’m sure somebody knows. She kind of fell out of the radar after you left,” she says. Everyone thought you eloped. She kept that part to herself.

“Cool. Thanks. Let me know,” he says. He looks at the time. “I have to go,”

“Alright,” she says. I love you. She kept that too. “See you tonight?”

“I’ll let you know.” He ends the call and sets his phone down. He rummages through the drawers to look for clues you might have left behind. He wanted to look for you. He didn’t know why he had the sudden urge to do so. It’s not like he has any right to. He pauses, looking at a distance. He tries to rack his brain for that stupid email. He rushes out of the office and sees Sugar.

“Do you remember what my old email was?”

The Bear opens and you weren’t there. Sugar can’t remember his old email. Carmy forbade her to look you up. It could have been as easy as that but he didn’t want to. He can feel himself slipping away from Claire the more he busies himself with work. He tries to busy himself with work because he tries to bury the guilt of leaving you behind. Sugar told him that you went to his childhood home the day after he left Chicago. She said she got into the arts school that you both applied to. You were probably on the way to tell him about the news. He feels horrible.

Carmy knew that despite your charm, you were self-destructive. You were both alike that way. You have the tendency to self-isolate whenever you feel upset. One time, Carmy accidentally said something hurtful towards you. You pushed him away. He had to climb to your window and apologize before everything was alright again. When your mother scolded you, you’d lock yourself in your room and stay in the library until it closed so you wouldn’t have to see your mom. When you didn’t get the role that you wanted for a play, you’d distance yourself from everyone until everybody started to miss you.

“You’re the only one who can get me out,” you once told him. You said it in such a teasing manner that he only brushed it off. He didn’t think about it before but it’s all he’s been thinking about now. Would you let him bring you out again?

Claire broke up with him when The Bear opened. He brought all of his anger out to Richie. He was an island. He was alone and was out of touch. He’d go to work, cook, and then leave. He didn’t talk to anyone. He’d just scream his head off until he blows off the steam. This is the dream, right?

He decided to go out and explore today. He had to go to Aurora, a city near Chicago to meet up with a potential supplier. He wanted to introduce a new item to the menu. He let go of the bucatini and other items. Last night, he stood a foot away from the island, looking at the food he just prepared. They were so intricate…they reminded him of you. All the food was reminiscent of your childhood with him. He didn’t know what happened for him to finally feel the gaping hole in his life shaped like you.

He arrives at the spice store hidden from the main road. It was quaint and the shelves were lined with jars of tea and various spices from around the world. Jugs of flavored vinegars were displayed for purchase. When he entered, the aroma of the jars enveloped his nose. He happened to find this spice store on the list of possible suppliers that Sugar prepared before The Bear opened. He felt right at home with the creaky wooden floors and warm lighting.

“Can I help you, sir?” the attendant from the cashier at the corner asked. He walks over to her and studies her corner. A framed paper caught his eye. It was too easy to miss to the unknowing eye but he saw it. The frame was on the very top, almost touching the low ceiling. His entire world stops and he sees it. He sees you. He sees the drawing that you took from him on that afternoon in the library.

“I…,” he swallows. “Do you know the—the artist of…of that portrait?” he asked, pointing at his sketch.

“Oh. I’m not sure, sir but the owner might know,” the attendant replied. Carmy nods.

“I’m actually here for uh, a meeting? I’m the owner of a restaurant in Chicago and I-I…am here to meet for a possible partnership,”

”Oh! Of course,” she nods, looking at the piece of paper the manager gave. “Mr. Berzatto?”

“Yes,”

”The manager will be here soon. May I lead you to the backroom? Would you like some tea?” she asked. She sees him play with a plastic of tea bears. “Tea bears. It’s the first of its kind. It’s a gummy bear that you can dissolve in water for tea. You can also eat it as is. Would you like to try a flavor? I recommend the blueberry and blue pea,”

”Oh, uh—sure,” he nods, following her to the back. Carmy sits down and the attendant leaves. He looks around the room. The walls had awards and other accolades. The attendant arrives with a cup of hot water and some colorful tea bears.

“Just add one to the water and snack on the rest,” she smiles. He picks up a tea bear and studies it. It kind of reminds him of you. He remembers how much you loved tea. He gifted you exotic and expensive teas every time. He knows he shouldn’t get his hopes up but what were the odds? There was only one copy of that drawing in the world and it was supposed to belong to you. The manager arrives just right after he bit on the head of the first bear. Vanilla and raspberry.

”Hello, Mr. Berzatto,” he says. He was a stout man with a kind face. “Sorry for my lateness,”

”I was early,” he says, standing up to shake the other man’s hand.

“Tea bears,” he acknowledges and Carmy smiles a little bit. ”I hope the drive wasn’t too tiring,”

”It wasn’t,” he replied. “I have the documents with me,” He lays the folder on the table with information about The Bear.

“I take it you’re the owner?” he asks Carmy. He nods, and the manager reads over the company profile. He wastes no time asking Carmy about The Bear. Carmy answers them and he’s so tired. He should have made Sugar come here instead. The meeting ends without a fuss.

“Do you have any questions?”

“It’s not really about the spices but the portrait on the counter. I want to have a portrait made,” he says.

“Oh,” the manager looks at the cup of tea that Carmy drank. “I’m not quite sure but I’ll be sure to ask the owner. Bea has a couple of spice samples ready for you outside,”

Carmy stands up and exits the room. He drives home with a brown paper bag and a picture of the portrait that hangs on the wall. It was you. It was you.

He couldn’t sleep that night. The spices for the new menu sits on his kitchen counter, untouched. He thinks about it. What happened? He thought you were an actress. That was what your dream was. He couldn’t help it. The itch that his fingers have makes him reach for his phone. Before he knew it, he was on Google, typing your name.

“Fuck!” he shouts, throwing the phone from across his bed. “Fuck, no, no, no.” He shuts his eyes close and pinches his nose. Why now? The Bear was in shambles. Richie hated him, Claire hated him, he hated himself. Was he only reaching out to you because he knew that he wouldn't feel the hatred?

“There were some problems with the renter of your house in Chicago,” you heard. You looked up from your office table and frowned.

“I thought that house was rented properly?” you asked. It’s been ten years since you went there. Or was it five? You couldn’t keep count anymore. That house was a house of horrors that you’d never want to revisit again. Hell, you never wanted to set foot in Chicago again.

“The renters want to meet up with you. They said that you purposely kept important information from them when you leased the house. They were complaining about the backyard and would not budge until you go there,” he says. You pinched your nose.

“Can’t we look for other interested renters?” you were annoyed. ”Or just give them a refund?”

”Sadly, nobody wants to rent the house anymore because it hasn’t been renovated for years,”

“Fuck,” you sighed. “Alright,”

Your flight to Chicago was long. Your college was quickly spent in New York. You decided not to stay there. You thought of your old house. It could have been sold ten years ago but you didn’t want to. Your uncles and aunts all agreed that if there were no renters, it was going to be sold. You couldn’t defy their demands, they all inherited the house with your mom from their father. You all shared the profits yearly and you didn’t want to sell the house. You couldn’t just leave everything behind entirely.

Stepping back in Chicago was…something. There was a rush of emotions that filled you and as you met up with your driver, you felt weak. You didn’t want to be back here but you had no other choice. You were tied down to that two storey house. You were just hoping that you won’t run into anyone. The plan was to stay here, four days at most and then leave before anyone else sees you. You didn’t want to make up stories in your head again about how you and him kept in contact when you knew that it wasn’t true. It wasn’t true. None of it was. You just wanted to be comforted by the lie that you tried so hard to believe.

The hotel was nice. You were thinking of driving outside of Chicago to check some matters before going to New York. The next morning, you decided to go out for a run and grab coffee. You wondered if your old favorite cafe still opened. It was fairly far from your old home and The Beef. You wondered if people still went there. It wasn’t hip and the food was greasy but their brewed coffee was heaven.

The city has changed a lot since the last time you’ve been here. You don’t remember the streets being this way. Vacant lots turned into buildings and skyscrapers. It was odd. You once knew every nook and cranny of the city but not anymore. That afternoon, when you arrived at your old house, you couldn’t even recognize the street. The old houses were torn to pieces and were built with modern houses. The only houses that remained exactly the same were yours and the Berzattos’. It seemed empty, though. It used to have cars and chaos but it was quiet. As if…it hasn’t been lived in. You paid it no mind and knocked on your old door, revealing the new tenants of the house.

They immediately showed you what their problem was. Fucking grass. You booked a flight and stayed at an expensive hotel for grass. It wasn’t the same as in the pictures. That was their main concern. You stood there, in your backyard, mouth pressed into a thin line in annoyance.

“I see,” you only nodded. “I can arrange landscaping services for you,”

“But that would be expensive. The only reason why we rented this old house is because we wanted to have a garden. Otherwise, we would’ve rented somewhere that’s actually…nicer,” the tenant says. Seeing your souring expression, she added, “This place is nice…homey. I can’t afford landscaping services,”

You only nodded, trying to think of someone who might know a landscaper.

“Can you give me until tomorrow to sort this out?”

“Sure,’

When you arrived at the hotel that night, you thought of the people you knew who had good lawns and backyards. Your agent can’t obviously do shit. You have to fire him soon. All the services in Chicago were way more expensive than you were willing to spend. Who had a good lawn…whose mother always had a manicured garden?

“Fak!”

The man rushes into the kitchen, looking at the ensemble of people gathered where Sydney and Carmy usually stood.

“The light,” Carmy pointed. “It’s doing that thing again,” The light buzzes and blinks, as if Carmy ordered it to do so. He had that ability sometimes. He can make the world move.

“I got it, I got it,” he says, going out and coming back soon with a ladder and his tool box. He listens to the crew made up of Richie, Tina, Sydney, Carmy, and Sugar bicker while he tries to fix it. They always bickered and it stresses him out most of the time. ”Ugh, you guys! Stop screaming at each other!”

They ignored him, Carmy was in a screaming contest with Richie while the others tried to pacify the situation. Their relationship hasn’t gone back to the way it was after the fridge incident.

”We’re closed today, right?” Fak asked, trying to tighten the screw.

“Yes, darling,” he hears Sugar.

“Great because Y/N asked me to come by their old house,” he says. He takes note of the sudden silence and takes it as his permission to continue. “She’s back in town and wanted me to check their lawn because she told me that she remembered how nice Ma’s garden was, remember? Anyways, she wanted me to check and get her a connect with a gardener or a landscaper,”

“Wh-what?” Carmy sputters. “What the fuck are you saying, Fak? Y/N hasn’t been here in-in-in fucking years,”

”Yeah but she’s here,” he shrugs. He climbs down the ladder with a smile on his face. “It’s a good thing I never changed my phone number. She wouldn’t have been able to call me if I did,”

Carmy visibly disintegrates before everyone in the kitchen. He stands there, memories of his abandonment haunting him and his eyes blinking rapidly. You were in town?

”When are you meeting her?”

“Today,”

Fuck. If only he didn’t promise himself to do something today. He needed to focus. He didn’t need you, right?

After treating Fak to a quick dinner, you immediately went home. He sadly told you that he wished you’d visit The Bear. Carmy was here now and he opened the restaurant. He told you that you’ll be welcome anytime as long as you tell him first so he can tell Richie. Richie was the front of house staff now and Fak said that Richie improved, like a lot. He showed you photos of Sugar’s cute baby. He told you that Eibra and Tina still worked there but most surprisingly, he told you that Mikey was dead.

That part shook you. You were never really close with him but he was always nice to you. Carmy idolized him and always sought his approval. It must have been hard for him. Hearing that he didn’t attend the funeral didn’t surprise you, though. You always imagined that Carmy will do some fucked up things if it really came down to it. Years of not knowing what Carment Berzatto became brought both a hollow feeling in your chest and assurance. You never had to know if he was better without you. You chewed on the hangnail on your perfectly manicured finger. Carmy was here again and so were you. Would it be so bad to see him again? Even if it was just a glimpse…would it be so bad to see how he was after all these years?

The night before left you with eyebags. The thought that you and Carmy were here woke you up all night. You didn’t know what to do. Does he know that you’re here too? You tried to cover the bags with a concealer you brought. You were on auto-pilot as you went to the basement to take your rental car. You were going to Aurora today to look over the shop. What was a drive anyway? You were in Aurora every other month for the business that you built when you were younger. It proved to be successful, though.

You arrived at your first business venture, The Alchemist. You were young and full of wonder when you named it. The Alchemist…you used to call your mother that because she made so many things in the kitchen with nothing. It was a way to remember her legacy and other mixes that she made when you were younger. Now, though, you asked chefs and homecooks to make recipes for pre-mixed spices for your business. You always went back to ‘Alchemy No. 1’, a spice blend made and frequently used by your mother when she was still alive.

You entered the store lined with jars of spices and flavored vinegars. The smell of herbs that you sourced from all over the world create an aroma that reminds you of home.

“How is everything?” you asked her.

“Mr. Lee just is about to close a deal with a promising restaurant,”

”He told me about it,” you told Dana. “Sorry if I can’t come here as often as I’d like,”

”That’s alright,” she assures you. You pick a packet of assorted tea bears that you give to the customers to sample and open it. Taking a pink one, you melted the bear in the paper cup with hot water to drink the raspberry and vanilla flavored tea. “Mr. Lee makes the job easier, really,”

”I’m glad,” you told her. “I heard there’s a meeting today?”

”Yes, ma’am,” she replied. “It’s about to start in thirty minutes, actually. Are you planning to join?”

”Yes,” you told her. “I hope they won’t mind,”

You were sitting on the chair in the meeting room when the door opened. Your heart drops for some reason. Your palms sweat and you suddenly couldn’t breathe. You stood up, looked towards the opened door and saw him. Carmy. Carmy was here. He stops his movement—even his breathing and lets go of the door knob. He clutches the folder in his hands and looks at you with wide eyes.

He’s aged. He looked tired and his face matured but his eyes were still as blue as ever, demanding you to open up to him.

You looked older but you looked content. The fine lines that he’s never seen on you before makes you look more beautiful than you’ve ever been.

He opens his mouth first but no words come out. You tried to do the same but you suddenly forgot all of the words that you could say. The pain in your lungs and the quiver in your voice manages to croak out something that snaps him out of his shock.

“Hey,” a wobbly smile graces your features and he steps forward. You weren’t sure if you wanted to step back but you didn’t.

He watches your hand tremble and he wonders if he could still hold them like he used to.

You watch him take shaky breaths and remember how you used to soothe his back to stop him.

“I can leave,” you said, looking down. He frowns and licks his lips.

”You don’t have to,”

”No, I’ll—“

”You don’t have to run away,”

”You ran away from me all those years ago,”

Snap. If you could break his bones with your words, you already would have.

”But…” you swallowed thickly. “but it doesn’t matter anymore,” you whispered. You resented yourself for bringing that up. You should be happy that he’s doing fine, right?

“Y/N—“

”Let it go,”

”Please,”

”Carmy,” you finally look at him. You still called him Carmy.

“I have to talk to you,”

”I understand, alright?” you grit. “I—I—“ you breathed in. “I can’t be here,”

”Y/N, please,” you hear him plead. His voice breaks and you do too. Maybe because you always had a soft spot for him. Maybe it was because you realized that you loved him. Maybe it was because you pitied him…either way, you couldn’t stop yourself from saying what you said next.

“The Peninsula,” you told him. “Under my last name. Tomorrow,”

It was all you said to him before you left him in the meeting room. A few minutes later, Mr. Lee greets him and they close the deal.

Today was Monday, which meant that Carmy had either the morning or after the restaurant closes to come to you. If he comes to The Peninsula after, you might leave thinking that he never cared. If he comes tomorrow, he might not be able to prepare. He thinks that he’s at his best and he knows that he wouldn’t be able to focus if he didn’t go to you. He’ll just fuck things up in the kitchen if he doesn’t go to you. So, at 5:30 a.m., he goes to your hotel and asks for your room number. It seemed like you’ve already informed the receptionist of your arrival and they let him come up.

He knocks the door erratically. You rouse from the bed, alarmed because who would knock at 5:30 a.m.? You couldn’t sleep no matter what you did. With a grip on the remote control of the TV, you peeped into the hole to find Carmy.

“Y/N?” he calls from the outside. You tossed the remote control away and opened the door.

“It’s not even six yet,” were the words you told him as he sees you in the robe. “Carmy?”

“Sorry but—but I,” he draws in a breath. “Sorry I just, I wanted to go here before anything else because…because I know that if I don’t, I’ll be thinking about it and I won’t be able to focus,”

“Come in,”

Carmy steps inside your hotel room and looks around. Fancy. You used to dream about going to a place like this when you were younger. He stands there awkwardly by the foyer and you motion for him to sit down on the couch. He does so and watches you lean on the wall, as far away from him as possible without it being really obvious but it was.

A beat passes with Carmy’s eyes trained on you. You’ve never felt out of touch in his life than now. He watches you with wide eyes while you look everywhere but his face. There were no stains in his shirt and his curls were messier than you remember. You purse your lips and Carmy sighs. Really, Chicago felt so suffocating for the both of you. Being trapped in the small hotel room made it harder to breathe. What could you say? What could he say? The last time you saw each other, you pushed him away. What if you do it again?

“I’m sorry,”

Your head snaps up to look at his face. You frowned.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispers, feeling ashamed of everything. Now that you’ve looked at him, he feels like he was under a microscope and he grew to hate the feeling of being studied like that. “I’m so, so, so, fucking sorry,”

He bows his head in shame just as you look away, to the window so he wouldn’t see you wiping your tears. The sun was about to rise and it pains you because you realized that you loved him more when you spent that sunset in the library.

“Why did—“ you stop yourself. “Why did you leave me, Carmy?”

His heart beats fast, his fists clenching on his lap. Why?

”I didn’t deserve that,” you told him. “I didn’t deserve that and you—you just pushed me away. You could’ve at least said goodbye before—before you left the country. Fuck. I spent the past years wondering what I did wrong, Carmy. Do you know how that feels? I followed you like a lost puppy every fucking day and you suddenly decided that you were done with-with-with me. With us,”

He frowns, he doesn’t remember your childhood like that. For him, he was always in the sideways. He was the one who always had to follow you.

“My mom thought that making you lunch was the only way for you to s-stay,” he tells you, looking down. He studies the cuts he earned in the kitchen. “I felt—I felt like that too, you know? Everybody liked you wherever you went and I only…I only had to catch up after you,”

”Carm, you don’t even like people,”

That stings him for some reason and he frowns deeper. He bites his lip and shakes his head. How would you understand? Everybody loved you and he was so hard to love that his brother decided that he was done with him.

“Why did you push me away? Why—“ you choke back a sob. “Why did you leave me?”

The string that you tied around his heart grips it tighter. Memories of you, him, Mikey, that Christmas with his mom, the first time he smoked a cigarette, and the last time he looked at your house comes rushing back to him.

“You know, I started—started smoking when I left,” he chuckled. “It made sense…once I arrived in Copenhagen, the next logical thing was to, uh, buy a pack of cigarettes,” He hopes you understood what he tried to say.

”I’m not your babysitter,”

”I know,” he says. He thinks and you do too. You realized that too much resentment and emotions will get you nowhere.

”Carmy, I know you’re sorry but…but for tonight, can-can we just pretend like you never left?” you asked. He looks at you now, the sunrise illuminating your face differently from that sunset you shared. “Can we..can we pretend like we just lost touch and-and that we’re catching up?”

You look at him sadly, with your mouth downturned slightly. There were so many things to say and emotions to be felt. You couldn’t afford to unpack everything in a day and you were unsure if you wanted him back in your life just yet. You missed him but you didn’t know if you could handle another person leaving you. You’ve had enough people leaving you in this lifetime. Maybe that’s why you were so lonely. Maybe that’s why you don’t have friends and maybe that’s why everyone else seemed to have had enough of you never letting them in. What was the point anyway? Everything’s going to end and love doesn’t last forever. Who would have thought that the two people you loved most can teach you such a harrowing lesson?

Besides, you were unsure if you were ready to let all the love you’ve had for Carmy come to the surface and overflow again. The last time he left, would be the last time he leaves.

“Y/N?” he calls, standing up from the couch to walk towards you. Maybe just for now, this is enough. You smile at him, just like you did when you were younger. Like everything was alright.

“Carmy,” you smile as you let his calloused hands wipe the tears away. “I’m sorry for crying,”

”I’m sorry for making you cry,” he tries to say but his stutter breaks out and he looks down in shame. You reach out to him, your hands clutching the sides of his white shirt. He tries again, this time his voice was much clearer. His head seemed to put everything in his backburner. He has to savor this moment because who knows what will happen? He decided that the last time he left would be the last time he leaves you. A sob threatens to rip his chest but he swallows it down. “How have you been?”

Your arms snake around his waist and you lay your head on his chest. You can hear his heart beating so fast. Does he hear yours too? He takes in your scent. You smell different now.

He caresses the back of your head and kisses it. You take in a sharp breath. He’s never done that before. He tightens his grip around you, afraid to let go.

“Did you achieve your dream?”

You’re both laying down on the bed. The tender moment you shared was interrupted by your alarm. You watch each other now, wondering who breaks the ice first. Carmy’s arms wrap around you while you snuggle closer in his chest, clinging onto every piece of hope left. Your forehead is tucked under his chin and you breathed.

“I became an actress for a while,” you started. The air feels heavy but you decided to push it aside. “but I decided not to continue.”

“Why?”

“I went to college after you—after high school. I stayed there for a semester before…before I dropped out,” you said. “Carmy, they were so much better than me—“

“That’s not true,”

“But it is,” you chuckled sadly. “That wasn’t even the main reason but…but remember mom was sick?” He nods. “Well, she got…she—she got sicker and we had to use the college fund for her treatment,” you said. You don’t try to hide the sniffles. “In the end…in the end, I never went back to college and she didn’t…she didn’t make it,” your voice broke. The images of your mom in her casket never seemed to leave your mind. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” you sobbed. “My mom and I—“ You shuddered, remembering the time when your mother had to personally refuse any more care. You knew that she didn’t want you to be in debt. It was hard to spend your college fund but she couldn’t leave you with debt that you’ll pay forever.

”I know,” he says. He couldn’t bear hearing your voice break again. His eyes were red and tears threatened to spill. Fuck. He wasn’t there when you needed him. He knew how close you and your mom were. He couldn’t even say sorry because you both didn’t want to and didn’t know how to address the elephant in the hotel room.

“But then…then, I tried to act,” you chuckled, wiping your cheeks with the sleeve of the white robe. Carmy hears the tiredness in your voice but doesn’t mention it. “I had an audition and I got lucky. I got a recurring role in a hit TV series. I thought I was happy. I thought—I thought that I finally got what I wanted but I felt so alone, Carm. I didn’t have my mom with me…she will never—she will never watch anything that I’ll do but I persisted,” the small circles he drew on your back soothed you. “But then…the producer wanted to meet with me and I—he said that if I removed my clothes, he’ll make me a star,” his grip tightened. ”I removed my shirt and sat in his office half naked. It didn’t bother me. I knew…I knew what I was getting into but he-he wanted more and I had to leave,”

Carmy lets go of the breath that he didn’t know he was holding.

“I was fine with sitting there…like…like I was some fucking object. He could look all he wanted and I didn’t fucking care but he tried—he tried to touch me and I pushed him away,” you cried. He was around your age and was already successful when you came to the picture. He made you trust him. “He had my name blacklisted. I could never…I couldn’t do shit about it. I couldn’t land a job before I realized that maybe…maybe acting wasn’t for me,” you whispered. “I was only there because…he wanted someone to take advantage of,”

You cry in his arms as you share your burden with him. You had nobody to talk to when it happened. You were alone. You were so, so, so alone.

”I opened The Alchemy with the money that I have left and my business grew from there,” you said after calming yourself down. “I have the money but…but I feel so, so, so alone,”

He cooes and you bury yourself deeper in his arms. He mutters things you couldn’t understand. Carmy lets his tears flow as you calm yourself down. How can he tell you all about him if you’re so frail? He didn’t want to burden you any longer.

He doesn’t know how many minutes passed before he heard your breath even itself out. He unwraps his arms around you as carefully as he could. You were fast asleep and didn’t want to wake you. It takes a lot for him to remove himself from the bed that you shared for a few hours but soon, he finds himself wearing his jacket, walking away from the Peninsula. He forgot to count the number of cigarettes he smoked ever since he stepped his foot outside. He forgot to take his heart with him when he left it with you.

He runs a hand through his hair and arrives at the kitchen with profound sadness that his staff has never seen him carry. He locks himself in the office and takes out the notebook he managed to find in his apartment the night before. The email address and the password that he tried so hard to remember glares at him before clicking on ‘Next’. Emails from his childhood pop up but one stands out. Who would have thought that his email address was as easy to remember as combining your names together?

He shakily clicks on your old email address and takes a sharp breath as he reads the last thing you’ve sent him.

Carmy,

I heard from Donna that you’re in Copenhagen now. I hope everything’s fine between us because the last time I tried, you refused to speak to me. I don’t mind. I hope we talk again someday because you’re the only person in the world who I can talk to without hiding anything. I hope you gave me the chance to say this. I was planning on telling you anyway before we enter college. I don’t know why I’m saying this now. Maybe I’m doing this because I’m selfish. I’m hoping that you’d come back or maybe talk to me again if I do. If you don’t reply, I’ll take it as a rejection and try to move on with my life. I’ll be happy for you either way.

I love you, Carmy. I love you so much and I hope that you’re out there, pursuing your dreams. I will always be rooting for you.

I love you.

He throws his phone on the floor. He’s positive that there’s another crack on the screen now. He screams profanities and ignores the urgent knocks that Sugar was making outside his door. His head falls in his hands and he sobs. You were right. If he read the message, he’d book the next flight home.

He only dreams to be loved and to love without anything holding him back but dreams have a way of appearing brighter when you’re younger.

END. A/N: Thank you so much for reading and for waiting for me! I hope this was worth it. I’m really proud of this and as always, don’t forget to reblog / comment / tell me what you think! Love you.

TAGLIST: @kpopgirlbtssvt@morgthemagpie@hal3ynicol3@1800-queen-trash @ummvengers @thottywizard

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto #angst #fluff #the bear #the bear fx #the bear s3

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littlxpxtal · 2 months ago

Text

You Get Me So High

TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST

PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader

WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence

WORD COUNT: 4.3k

I wanna be high all the time

Would you come with me?

Used to stick together

You’re my best friend, I’ll love you forever

If you can just let me know if it’s okay

To call you when I’m lonely

February Cont.

“Show me a picture of this dude so I know who to look out for.” Sarah says after she puts the car in park in my driveway.

My hand trembles as I type in his instagram handle.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD” she screeches, slapping my arm. “You’re never going to believe me when I say this.”

”What WHAT” I shout back in response, my heart racing and palms getting sweaty.

”Y/N, he was there at the beach that day. During the whole Ruthie thing. He was one of the losers heckling Kie when she was trying to confront them. He’s the reason JJ threatened to kill them all.” My jaw dropped.

”There .. there’s no way. He- he isn’t like that.” I stammer.

”I swear on my mom, y/n. Send that to our group chat for Kie and Cleo to confirm but im so serious that’s him.”

”Fuck. This guy is really not who I thought he was.”

”No, he’s not at all. So, what are you going to do when you see him at school tomorrow?” She said as I unbuckled my seatbelt. I sighed and looked out the window at my house.

“I don't even want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me. I’m just going to ignore him…. I think” Sarah reached over and squeezed my hand.

“We’re here for you. Im sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me most-“

“It’s Valentine’s Day, I shouldn’t expect any of you to come running to my side, but im glad you did. Will you tell John B hello for me?” I say, cutting her off. She gave me a soft smile and nodded her head.

“Of course” she says and I step out of the car, waving goodbye as I walk towards my front door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

”Pogue fucker” Noah mumbles under his breath as he passes me in the hall. I stop in my tracks, my body tenses and I process what he just said.

I turn on my heels and look at him straight in the eyes. Sabrina, who was walking down the hall with me, grabs my arm.

”The fuck did you just call me?” I say through gritted teeth.

”you heard me. You’re a pogue fucker.” He says with a smile. His friends standing next to him like a bunch of chumps.

I take a step forward towards him. So much for ignoring him.

”I don’t know who made you think you can say shit like that, but you’re sure as hell not going to say something like that to me.”

”Oh really? What’re you gonna do? Have your boyfriend JJ gun me down?”

I begin to lunge forward before Sabrina holds me back.

”Alright that’s enough Noah” she yells at him, pushing herself infront of me.

”What you did was fucked up Noah, leading her on like that, then ghosting her. She’s not dating JJ by the way, I don’t know where you got that information but its incorrect. And what’s wrong with being a pogue fucker anyways?” She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

His group of friends laugh and Noah looks past Sabrina at me.

”Everyone knows you and JJ fucked, that’s just facts.”

”THATS NOT TRUE” I shout behind Sabrina.

”And you literally just posted about hanging out with Pogues, so there’s no way you aren’t still slumming it down on the cut when you get the chance.” He continues. My blood is boiling at this point. A crowd has started to form around us just before the bell for dismissal rings,

”Besides the fact that you’re an ignorant douche, I suggest you keep this shit to yourself. You’re spreading lies about a nice girl who did NOTHING to you except trust you. Rot in hell, DICK.” She screams the last bit before dragging me by the arm out the front doors of the school.

”Are you okay hun?” She asks, wrapping her arm around my side. My head hung low, avoiding eye contact with anyone, especially those who just saw the altercation go down.

”Yea ‘m fine I just wanna go home.”

”You gonna be okay?” She asks, and I nod my head in response.

”I just want to lay in bed” I say with a sigh.

”I love you” she says before walking towards her car.

”Love you too Sab, thank you.”

When I get into my car I see a text from my mom

Your dad and I decided to leave for Charlotte tonight rather than in the morning, and Lucy decided to come with us. Did you still want to stay home this weekend?

Yea I’ll be fine. Got homework and stuff to get done.

ok love you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After rotting in bed until 8:30pm I decided to get up and make myself dinner. We had some chicken breasts and lemons, so I decided to make a makeshift chicken piccata.

While the chicken was baking my music silenced itself, and my phone started ringing.

Incoming Call: Rafe Cameron

I take a second before answering, holding my breath to hear what he has to say.

”Hello?” I speak into the phone, peering down into the oven to check on the chicken.

”Hey um,” he sniffles in the background, his voice sounds broken up over the phone.

”Are you home?”

”Yes, are you okay?” I ask, concern starting to rise in my voice.

”Can I come over?” He whispers into the phone. There’s a beat of silence before I answer.

”Yes.”

”Alright I’m kind of already here, could you open the front door?”

I jump and turn around to see that the front porch light is infact, on.

“Coming” I say, running over to open the door.

He stands on the side of the doorway, clutching his side, a hoodie over his head. As I open the door farther he leans in, practically falling inside.

”Holy Shit Rafe what’s going on?” I shriek, catching him before he topples over.

”Can I lay down?” He asks, his voice is hoarse. I pull him over to the living room couch, helping him get comfortable, I pull his hoodie down, to reveal a bruise on his cheekbone and a bloody nose.

”God Rafe you need to tell me who did this to you.”

He let out a dark laugh, one i hadn’t heard in a very long time.

“You’re not going to believe me.”

”Try me” I say while standing up to walk to the first floor bathroom and get the med kit.

I return back to rafe on the couch, with the kit and a wet rag.

I begin to wipe the dried blood off his face and put some medicine on his cuts. He winces at my touch, but doesn’t refuse.

Our faces are dangerously close at this point, and i can feel his breath on my face. My pulse quickens and I realize he still didn't answer my question.

”So, whats the other guy looking like right now?” I ask, trying to lighten the tense mood. He opens his mouth to answer right when the oven timer rings.

”Shit sorry one second. Did you have dinner?”

He grumbles some sort of response I can barely hear as I walk into the kitchen, putting on a glove to take out the chicken.

I place the breasts back on the pan, glazing it with white wine and squeezing a fresh lemon into the sauce.

“That smells amazing” Rafe comments before sitting on on of the island chairs.

”Rafe go lay back down.” I instruct, as I begin to plate the dish, now splitting it into two servings.

“You patched me up, im all better.” He says, faking a smile. I roll my eyes before setting a plate infront of him.

”Eat this, and then you’ll feel better.” He looks down at the plate, then back at me.

”are you sure, I really don’t -“ I cut him off with a wave of my hand in his face.

”shush, just tell me how good it is.” He cuts into the chicken and takes a bite, while I pour us two glasses of water.

”holy shit this is gas.” He says with a Mouth full.

“I know” I say confidently, giving him a full smile before taking a seat next to him.

After a few minutes of us eating in silence, I turn to look at him.

”So why did you come here?” I ask with genuine sincerity and curiosity. He finishes swallowing and turns his head to look back at me.

“This is kind of our thing isn’t it? Coming to each other at our lowest.” He lets out a chuckle before taking a sip of water.

”I guess that’s true,” I respond, thinking back to every time we’ve been in situations like this.

”and I don’t like people to see me like… like this.”

”vulnerable?”

he looks away after my comment, I can tell his head is swimming with thoughts, he’s far away right now, I needed to figure out how to bring him back. Before I could come up with another question, he finishes his last bite and stands up, walking over to the sink to rinse it off.

“You don’t need to do that” I say, protesting.

“Shush” he mimicks me.

I finish up my own last bite and he takes the plate away from infront of me, and starts to wash it.

I walk to the living room, and clean up the med kit, placing it back in the bathroom, when I return, I find rafe putting his shoes back on.

”What’re you doing?” I question, my breath hitching in my throat at the thought of him leaving so soon.

”I. Don’t wanna be a bother. You probably got stuff to do, it’s a Friday night and all.”

”no!” I shout, louder than I had anticipated, making us both flinch. “stay. Im home alone and could use the company.”

“Y/n,” he starts. I walk over and stand infront of him, blocking him from the door.

”I said I want you to stay.” His eyes look back and forth between me and the door a few times before he gives in.

“Well what were you going to do before I showed up?” He asks, taking his shoes back off.

”I was going to watch a movie, The KIlling of a Sacred Deer, you heard of it?”

”That the one with Nicole Kidman?” He says with a smirk.

I give his shoulder a slight shove and shake my head.

”Come on, we can watch it downstairs.” He follows my lead to the basement, trailing right behind, but stopping when we pass the bar.

”Rafe…” I raise my eyebrows at him. “Don’t even think about it.”

”Chill baby I’m just checking out what your dad has in stock,” he hums at me before touching the end of my hair.

“You know, I’ve always loved your hair.” He murmurs, leaning down a few inches infront of my face.

“Thanks, I grew it myself.” I respond plainly, walking into my room. He lets out a huff and follows me in. I fumble to pick up the pile of clothing at the edge of my bed, shoving it into my closet. I run to get the trash off of my nightstand before he starts laughing.

”I didnt expect a guest okay, don’t start with me.” I shoot daggers at him and he raises his hands in defense.

“You know how Sarah’s room can get. Im not judging.” He crawls onto my bed, laying his head on one of my squishmallows. ”I think this ones my favorite” he says, pointing to the large Axolotl in the corner.

I smile and climb onto the bed with him.

”He actually doesn’t have a name yet.” I inform him, picking up the remote to turn my TV on, “you should help me name him.”

Rafe raises his eyebrows and then looks back at the plush figure. I can see his mind thinking, and I find myself watching him intently for a few moments before he turns to make eye contact with me. His demeanor had softened dramatically compared to the state he was in an hour ago. Luckily his face wasn’t swelling, and looked like his cuts would heal nicely.

“What about .. Fred?”

I let out a laugh, louder than I think we both expected, causing Rafe to let out a deep chuckle himself.

”Okay okay yeah that was bad. Hmm what about Reek?”

“Like from Game of Thrones?” A smile spreads across his face.

”Yes.” He says softly, touching my hair again.

”Well if he’s going to be a game of thrones character, maybe he should be Drogon, one of Daenerys’s dragons.”

”Hm I like that, Drogon has a ring to it.”

I turn back to the TV and press play on the movie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

”Okay so where the fuck was the deer?’ Rafe asks as the credits roll on the screen.

”You are not being serious are you right now?”

”Y/N, that was a horrifying movie. Why’s every piece of media you show me actually insane.”

”Have you ever considered im insane?”

”Its crossed my mind for sure.” I gasp, with a roll of my eyes before turning on a random episode of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia on.

“So.” I say, my eyes grazing over his long body on my bed, when my eyes catch up to his face, he’s already looking intently at me.

”So..” he responds. I fiddle with the hem of my shorts before taking in a sharp breath.

”Are you going to tell me who did that to you?”

His eyes flicker down my body and then back up at my eyes. He lays his head back on the headboard and closes his eyes.

“It was my dad.”

I immediately sit straight up.

”Rafe, what?” My hand reaches over to grab his. He stays still, letting me hold it.

“We got into an argument over the settlement that just went down,and he was drinking. There’s some stuff going on with Peterkin that’s got him all riled up and he took it out on me.”

“I, I’m so sorry I don’t even know what to say. You don’t deserve to be related like that at all, especially from your dad.

He finally opens his eyes and looks at me, I could tell he was trying to fight off any intense emotions, holding his body tense. I moved closer to him, draping my arm across his body, my head resting against his.

”can you not tell anyone about this? I’m going to tell the guys it was a fight with a pogue and I don’t need you and your little friends running around saying the opposite.”

I nudge my forehead against his, “I wouldn’t do that” I whisper, inching my nose towards his. I watch his eyes flicker up at mine, then down at my lips.

“I know you wouldn’t,” He brings his hand up to my cheek and pulls me closer, our lips hovering over each other.

“Always such a good girl for me.” My breath hitches in my throat, and I push my mouth against his. Our lips collide, and a guttural moan vibrates from his mouth through mine. Rafe’s hands reach down to grab my hips and he pulls me on top of him.

Our lips move against each other in a fast paced rhythm, and Rafe pulls me down hard against his crotch moving me up and down.

“God I need you so bad.” He mumbles against my lips. I moan back in response, running my fingers through his hair.

“Who said I was going to give you what you want?” I flirt back, moving my mouth down his chin, onto his neck, sucking and biting. He lets out a soft sigh, mixed with a chuckle.

“Don’t act like you cant resist me. Especially when you’re so worked up like this.”

I remove my mouth from his neck for a second to say, “‘m not worked up.”

“I’ve caught you checking me out all night baby. You’re not as slick as you think.”

I continue to suck on his neck, moving to the other side.

“Well its been a while.” I murmur against his skin.

“Say the word and I’ll give you what you want.” I peek my head up to meet his eyes, his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth that’s smirked up.

”And when I say I want a million dollars, then what?” I quip, raising my eyebrows.

”I’d give you the world if you wanted.” He whispers back. We stare at each other for a few moments, before he tilts my chin up, connecting our lips once again.

I reach my hand down to help him take off his shirt and he stops me.

“Don’t, Don’t freak out alright.” He says quietly. I look at him quizzically before he takes his shirt off himself, revealing bruises up and down his torso.

”My god, Rafe.” I gasp, and lightly trail my finger over the marked spots. He hisses and grabs my hand.

“I said don’t freak out.” He warns me, with a stern look on his face. I feel myself throbbing against his crotch underneath me, I think he can feel it too because his face softens and he leans his head back against the headboard.

“We’ll just have to be a little gentler than usual.” I say, moving my body down to trail kisses along his sternum. I make sure to hold myself up by my arms as I go down, to avoid putting any unnecessary weight on his chest.

When I make it to his belt buckle, I finally look up.

”He didnt harm you down here did he?” I ask, hoping to lighten the mood. He smiles and shakes his head no before helping me undo the loop.

I pull his pants and boxers down, throwing them off the bed, taking his cock in one hand and bringing my other up to cup his face. His bottom lip is tight between his teeth, and I hear his breathing start to get heavier.

I lean down to spit on his dick, and start to pump before bringing my face up to meet his. We hold eye contact as I quicken the pace, making sure to squeeze over his tip before going all the way down his shaft. After a few more pumps, I bring my hand down to grab his balls and his bottom lip finally escapes his teeth and he lets out a moan. I seize this opportunity of his open mouth by pressing my mouth against his, shoving my tongue inside. I explore around his mouth, tasting him, devouring him.

”Fuck” he pants when I finally release myself to take a breath. “I need to taste you.” He took the opportunity to flip me onto my back. I whimper out in excitement while his mouth trails along the already exposed skin on my legs. While he pulls down my shorts I take off my top, exposing the fact that I didn't have a bra on this whole time.

He looks up with a smirk and reaches a hand over to palm my right breast, causing a moan to escape my lips. I feel myself grow wetter by the second as his breath trails over my panties, grazing his lips around the lines between them and my inner thighs.

”Please” I whimper out, reaching down to collect whatever pieces of hair I could into my grasp.

He pulls the fabric with one finger down between my folds, creating a pressure against my clit, and pushes his lips down on the bud.

“Fuck” I whisper out. His finger, still in between my panties, begins to slide in between my folds, collecting up the juices I had built up. He takes the finger out and pops it into his mouth, sitting up on his knees, rolling his eyes back.

“Fucking delicious.” He groans before ripping my panties completely off. I take in a sharp inhale at the sudden movements, and before i can think, he’s pushing my knees up to my chest with one hand, and using his other to inspect my pussy.

”So fucking pretty” He whispers against the inside my my knee, giving it a soft kiss while his fingers continue to slide up and down.

“Rafe” I plead squirming beneath him.

“Shh baby,” he coos. “I told you I’d give you what you want. You just have to say it.” His eyes look up to meet mine, and another whimper escapes my lips. My brain is fuzzy already, and I can barely get the words out. His hand retracts from my pussy, and he begins to pump his dick.

He moves his erection dangerously close to my core, and gives a slight tap, causing my hips to jerk up and uncontrollable whimpers to fall out.

“Please” I beg, Feeling my face get hot. A smirk is stapled to his face as he watches the scene of my throbbing pussy visibly aching to be filled.

“Use your words pretty girl, tell me what you want.” He says softly, pressing another kiss to the inside of my thighs.

”Want you to fill me up”

He doesn’t waste a second after the words come out of my mouth, pushing himself fully in. I shriek out, grabbing his shoulder to pull him down to meet my face.

He pants against my open mouth, and my eyes roll back before I squeeze them shut, seeing stars behind my hooded lids.

”Wanna see those pretty eyes baby” he says, my eyes flicker open to meet his intense gaze, his lips slightly parted. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and smiles.

“There you are” he whispers before picking up his pace. My moans are uncontrollable at this point, holding onto his shoulders for dear life as he pounds into me.

“So fucking good” I cry out. He gives my forehead a kiss before dipping his head into the crook of my neck, swinging my right knee over his shoulder, pumping in deeper.

”You like this baby?” He says against my neck. I whimper back in response, and move my hands down to hold onto his biceps.

“Yes, you fuck me so, so, so” my head falls back and my eyes roll back against as his hips slap against my thighs.

“So, so, so” he mimics in a high pitch voice.

“Mhm fuck you.” I mumble out. His hand grabs my chin and he turns it to meet his face.

“Nah, when Im fucking you this you good, you don’t get to have a fucking attitude.” He puts pressure between my cheekbones and jaw and I open my mouth. He leans down and spits into it. I whimper and swallow, nodding my head in agreement.

“Yes, sir” I whisper. I watch his pupils grow in response, and his pace fastens. His hand releases from my face to grab my left breast, and he leans his head down to suck my nipple, lapping up and down before taking the peak between his teeth and biting down. I moan out, grabbing another fistful of his hair.

”’m gonna cum if you keep pulling shit like this” I quip. He shoots a look at me before going back down to sucking on my tit.

”Don’t you think that’s kind of the point babygirl? And I told your to watch that fucking attitude.” His hand moves up to my cheek to give it a slight tap, causing a guttural moan to come out, which makes him chuckle. His lips attach back to my nipple, and her sucks harder, causing me to shriek, and my brain to go full sub space.

When he comes back to meet my face, he can read it all over my face. He grins widely and kisses all around my face. My body tenses as I reach my high, and his free hand trails up and down my sides, his pace steady, hard and fast.

“You gonna cum for me?” He coos, brushing some hair out of my face before giving my lips a quick peck. I muster up the energy to nod my head, and he leans his hand down to rub my clit.

”Fuck” I groan out, grabbing his biceps, diggin my nails in.

“Im,” I start before the crash hits me and I go completely nonverbal, feeling myself convulse around rafe, holding onto him for dear life.

“There you go baby” he whispers, continuing to rub my clit aggressively while his thrusts get sloppy. My head feels light and I go completely limp underneath him, trusting myself in his grip to keep me safe.

He groans out and pulls his dick out before cumming all over my stomach. He holds my face while pumping his cock, getting the rest of himself out onto my body. His breaths slow before he reaches down to kiss me passionately, the cum now sticking to the both of us.

After a few minutes of us laying together, lips brushing against each other, he helps me come back to earth, caressing my head and playing with the ends of my hair.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispers before getting up a d walking to the bathroom. I feel a cold chill run up my body when his heat leaves the bed. He returns with a towel, wiping me off before he wipes himself off.

“Want some help getting to the bathroom?” He says, looking down at my helpless figure. I nod my head, and he picks me up, carrying me to the bathroom.

”You got it from here?” He asks, and I sheepishly nod, he leaves the bathroom closing the door behind him.

When I return to the bedroom, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, his clothes against his lap.

”I can go now, if you wanna get some rest.” He says in a light voice, looking out the back door. I sit down next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist and resting my head against his shoulder.

”I told you I wanted you to stay earlier, and I meant it.”

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Tags: @ltristessedureratoujours @davinashifts333

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe outer banks #obx x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe x you #obx x you #outer banks #rafe fanfic #rafe smut #obx smut #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe fic #rafe x oc #rafe cameron smut

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lightnotyagami · 11 months ago

Text

"Do you think you'll kill for me one day?"

"Yes, of course i will my dear."

Light x fem reader (soft) smut

A/n:remeber when L put cameras into lights room? When i was like 14 or 15 i read a smut FF like this and OH MY GOD its still in my head. Coudnt find the ogs @ but if i ever do ilysm🙏 (it was on ao3 if anyone wants to help me find it😭)

Summary: L puts cameras into lights room.. great.. but what do normal people his age do? Hang out with friends, do homework.. and some other things.

Tw/cw: my horrible english, soft smut (duh) , being watched, tell me if i missed anything!!

"Are we seriously going to do this?" You asked him still in a safe distance from his house. "Yeah, wanna back out?" He said as he looked at you like you were stupid. "No! I'm just saying, I don't know about the whole... thing." You voiced as he answered with a shrug like what you said wasn't a big deal to him. "Look," he said walking towards you with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I'll take care of it, okay? you just relax and lay down." Your mind went crazy thinking about all the things that could go wrong. "So, are you in yes or no?" He stopped right in front of you and looked directly into your eyes. His face was close enough for you to smell the mint from his breath. 'It felt different being so close to someone, I mean I didn't feel threatened by his appearance, just like when we were fighting but this time I could see how beautiful he really is...' you thought to yourself "fine." "Good girl."

*later in his room*

'64 cameras.' you thought to yourself as you sat yourself on the bed and light on his chair. "hey light!" the door was shot open revealing his little sister, sayu was her name? "mom asked if you want anything from the supermarkt, oh and does Y/n want something too?" she asked now looking at you "oh no dear its fine! you two make yourselves a great day" you answered. "Okay, dont be mad then if we dont bring extra snacks" she winked at making your laugh slightly. 'i wish i had a younger sister' you thought to yourself "okay mom says bye." Sayu said closing the door behind her, leaving only you and light. oh and the 64 cameras from every angle of course. The lights were dimmed making everything look more mysterious. "you want anything?" Light asked turning around to look at you. "no... thanks its okay." you answered looking at the ground embarassed as he sat besides you ."it's alright babe, come sit over here." he patted on his lap. You slowly moved your legs closer to him sitting on his lap. he pulled you closer so that your head was on his chest and his arms were wrapped around you. Everything was going after Plan but why did this still feel so..weird? you dont know if L is the only one watching this. you could only hope. you closed your eyes trying enjoying his touch and warmth as he kissed you softly. "let me show you something, babe." you hummed in response. His fingers which were playing with the ends of your hair slowly moved up to your body . "your heart is beating so fast" he whispered in your ear, causing you to shiver slightly. It sent an electrical jolt through your spine, it was almost painful but good. your heart started hammering in your chest as he pushed your t-shirt up exposing your bra and sofly pushing you down on the bed climbing on top of you. you moaned as he started kissing you softly on your neck, moving it from side to side, leaving small red marks "l-light~!" you whined not sure what to do as he started to unhook your bra , slowly peeling it off your body.

*at the headquarters*

"mister Soichiro Yagami, i belive you would like to leave the room?" L said as soichiro looked at the computers not sure if to ignore this ever happaned or to kill light when hes back home. "yes im sorry i just.." he said as he walked out of the room in complete shock that his son was capable of these things. "anyways. Im bluring the cameras now. Watari unblur them when this is done and a cheese cake would also be nice "

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jazzsonly · 1 year ago

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ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴏꜰꜰ

pairing(s): maddy perez x fem!reader (no pronouns used.)

warning(s): angst? arguing? none technically. old fic meaning old ass writing.

summary: you can't understand why Maddy won't save your failing relationship

part two. (coming soon!)

────────✬────────

you were laid against fezco's couch while you, him, and rue shared a blunt. tv on, with a random movie blaring from it. you don't know, you weren't really paying attention. maddy was clouding your mind as she usually did.

you had your sixth argument alone this week. you were tired—you couldn't understand. everything was fine. you were fine—more than fine, you were happy. so was maddy or at least you thought because all she seemed to do was start an argument lately. the weirdest part: she'd get even more mad when you tried to deescalate the situation and understand her.

"i think jules is cheating on me." rue announced, blowing smoke from her nose.

"oh word?" fezco let out while I was hummed in response.

was that it? was maddy cheating on you? no. you held her too high to think of her doing that.

"she’a been hanging with elliot a lottt." rue dragged her words.

"maybe you should ask her..." you trail off.

“you know, communicate.”

"yea’ that's word. communication is key." you both turn to fezco.

"when have you been in a relationship?" rue asked the question you were both thinking.

"don’t worry about me—I know a little some." you snort, you loved fez. you knew if you needed anything he had you.

"yo, there's this weird ass old guy out back." everyone looked at ashtray who held a shotgun in his hands.

"fuck, man."

fez stood and turned to both of you, "y'all should head out."

you didn't ask any questions, standing up you made your way to the door. rue behind you as well, grumbling about how she was comfortable.

"you need a ride?" you asked the Bennett.

"nah I got a bike."

✬

maddy's house was on the way to yours so you figured why not stop by. you weren't in the mood to argue so you thought maybe you could get her relaxed and watch a movie.

you knocked on the door a totaled or three times before her mom open it,

"y/n?" she seemed oddly surprised to see you.

"hey mrs.perez, is maddy here?"

"yeah, she's in her room." she pointed to the familiar stairs, stepping aside to let you.

you followed the route upstairs, knocking on the bedroom door twice before peaking your head in. maddy on her bed, phone to her ear. her eyes met you face and she rolled her eyes before telling whoever (assumed Cassie) on the phone she'd call them later.

"hey—I was on my way home and wanted to stop by, hope you don't min—

"come here." you followed, closing the door behind you. surprisingly, she pulled you into a hug, after placing a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

"listen, I don't wanna argu—

"were you smoking?" she questioned, sniffing your shirt that had a light scent of weed.

"yeah, just a little." you mutter already having an idea where this was going.

"you've been doing it a lot—and you've been hanging with rue."

"i’m not on that shit, maddy. just some weed and light drinking. just to relax." you huff at her accusation.

"drinking too? what? you gonna end of like my dad AND rue?" here you go.

"maddy—"

"you’re so fucking selfish." here come the insults.

“i do it because of you!" you blurt of out, voice rising.

"me? no you do because you're fucking self and only think about yourself. god—i should've known when i found you were friends with rue and fez."

you perk up, pointing your finger. “they're good people. don’t you fucking look down on them."

you weren't normally defensive but you weren't gonna let her shit talk your people.

"look, maddy, i didn't come here for this shit. so call me when you get your head on right, bro." you stood, trying to exit of the door you came in but maddy’s hand caught your wrist.

"stay."

"i just—

"we can watch a movie." she gave you doe eyes and you contemplated for a second.

if you stay you know you'd probably argue again but there's also a chance you can be civil. but that was a 75 to 35 ratio

"please, baby."

you sigh, sitting back down.

━━━ 👩🏽‍💻

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jessiexcorner · 11 months ago

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Heartbreak Highs. (pt. 3)

Description: Amerie, Harper, and (Y/n). The three were the best of friends until the incest map. A heartbreak high x reader.

Part 1:

Part 2:

"You sure you’ll be good? You can stay over for longer if you want,” (Y/n) says to Darren as they step out of her car and peer in through the window.

“Yeah, thanks for letting me stay, and dropping me to work.”

“Yea, no worries, see you after your shift?” (Y/n) asks, to which Darren nods. She drives off heading to Harper’s aunt’s place to hang out.

“Hey Harp” (Y/n) says with a smile entering the house. She notices a younger kid next to Harper, her little cousin, they had met a couple of times. “Hey, little star!” (Y/n) raises her hand out for a high five which the kid gladly returns.

“Did you get it?” The kid asks excitedly.

(Y/n) hums and reaches into her bag to pull out some sweets, “Don't eat them all at once your mom will get mad at me if I spoil your appetite..” She tries to warn but the kid already has taken off running to her room with the bag of junk food. “..Just so you know I'm still mad at the fish thing…” (Y/n) states.

“..I got you your favorite snacks as an ‘im sorry’ gift,” Harper says holding out the small bag of treats.

“…Okay, maybe I'm a little less upset.”

Harper laughs and pulls the girl inside the home, wrapping an arm around her neck. They head to the guest room and laze around, talking, and watching a movie together. They lay in bed watching a random film on (Y/n)’s laptop. (Y/n) feels her phone buzz and looks at it to see a notification of a message from Darren, opening it to find an image of Amerie in butchered bangs. She looks up at Harper who’s focused on the movie. She texts 'Oh my god.’ to Darren and shuts her phone, snuggling closer to the blond girl, who doesn't mind. A few minutes later she gets another text from Darren which says ‘Fixed Dora’s haircut.’ With a photo of the new hair and Amerie in a trolly, a place familiar. (Y/n) furrows her brows, sitting up a bit and texting quickly. ‘You're at the roof? I thought you wanted me to pick you up?’ She pauses to read the response. ’Yeah sorry, I asked Quinni, we’re at the roof now. We’re actually going to head to the cemetery for the party,’ ‘What..’ (Y/n) types out but then delete and replace it with an ‘oh.’ She can't really blame them, she never told the two she was close friends with Amerie before she became a Dusty-obsessed mean girl. They only knew about Harper and that she and Harp had a falling out but, now are on better terms. ‘You should come, please? It wouldn't be the same.’ (Y/n) pauses at the message. 'PLEASE COME!!1!’ Another message says. ’That was Quinni, but yes’ (Y/n) smiles a little at the text before responding with ‘okay.’

“Hey Harp, you're going to the cemetery thing yeah?”

“Yeah, why?” Harper looks over at the (h/c) hair girl.

“I wanna come.” Harper looks at her with surprise.

“Really? You never wanted to go before, but alright, if you’re sure,” She says with a smile.

At the cemetery, most teens carry a drink or smoke enjoying themselves. (Y/n) sticks close to Harper as the girl talks with Missy and Sasha, not drinking any alcohol. She looks around waiting for Darren and Quinni. “Hey, you good?” Harper asks.

“Oh, yeah, Darren said that they and Quinni were coming, I'm just keeping an eye out.” (Y/n) explains.

“Ah,” Harper nods understanding. (Y/n) notices Harper is almost done with her drink.

“Want me to get you another?” (Y/n) asks not wanting to stand around silently or awkwardly as Sasha, Missy, and Harper talk.

“If you're okay with it, sure,” Harper says noticing the fact (Y/n) was silent throughout the whole party. The (h/c) haired girl nods humming and walks to the drinks to find an unopened and untampered bottle. As she searches the cooler she notices someone standing next to her, she looks up to see the new kid.

“Hey,” He starts.

“Hi..” She responds going back to her search for the drink.

“Looking for that?” He points out a bottle that seems to be unopened.

“Oh, yeah.. Thanks,” She grabs the bottle, checking it once more.

“I'm Malakai.” He reaches out his hand.

She stands up before reaching her own hand out, “(Y/n).”

“You don’t seem like someone who comes here often,”

(Y/n) raises a brow “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, no I didn't mean, it's just you seem uncomfortable around here…” Malakai tries to explain.

“… it's actually my first time at something like this.” (Y/n) admits.

“Hey, me too.” He smiles.

“Right.” She pauses, not used to talking to a lot of new people, or comfortable talking to someone she doesn't already know.

“Can I offer you a drink?”

“I don't drink.” (Y/n) declines.

“Oh, okay that’s cool.”Malakai is about to say something else when (Y/n) excuses herself.

“I have to get this to my friend,” She points in Harper’s general direction.

“Oh, uh, sure, see you around?” He asks hopefully.

(Y/n) hums but leaves immediately as soon as she gets the chance to run back to her friend’s side.

“Hey, saw you talking to the new kid,” Harper teases a bit taking the drink (Y/n) brought her.

“Hm? Oh yeah.” (Y/n) moves on by not speaking of the topic anymore.

“Well, he seemed like he wanted to talk to you, actually he still seems like he wants to talk to you,” Harper points out, (Y/n) glances at the direction of where the coolers were, and Malakai is looking at the girl and her friend. (Y/n) looks away and awkwardly shrugs. It only took another minute before sundown when Darren, Quinni, and Amerie arrive. (Y/n) spots her friends and is about to say hi, but stops when she sees Amerie. She taps Harper to let her know, who had arrived. Harper looks over and sees the group, and nods in acknowledgment. Quinni finding (Y/n) smiles and waves, which the girl returns back. Amerie on the other hand spotting her old friends wants to turn back. Malakai walks up to Amerie holding out a beer.

"Hey, cunt. My actual name's Malakai, by the way.”

“Amerie.” The girl introduces herself. (Y/n) notices the interaction and looks away focusing on her friends Darren and Quinni. Smiling, she is about to walk up to them but, Malakai seemingly wanting to cheer Amerie up, starts dancing which makes Quinni pull Amerie to the dance floor and begin dancing with her and Darren. (Y/n)’s smile falters a little, pulling back she moves away from the middle of the dance floor back to the sides. Once Amerie seems to be done having her fun with Malakai; Darren and Quinni catch up with (Y/n) and they talk about Quinni’s plan to confront Spider about the rumor and Darren’s encounter with Cash earlier that day.

“Oh really? That's so cool Quinni, it'll be hilarious!” (Y/n) hypes up her friend, encouraging her.

“Oh! I should tell Amreie too,” Quinni walks off with a smile leaving (Y/n) on her own as Darren had left to get a drink. She looks around shuffling before deciding to look for Harper. While searching she bumps into someone.

“Oh, sorry,”

“Oh hey, it's you.” Malakai smiles once more after stabilizing the both of them.

“Oh, uh, yup.” (Y/n) nods turning away.

“Hey, could I ask you something?”

“Hm?”

“Do you not like me or are you just shy?”

“..What?”

“I dunno, you just seem to avoid me, or people in general.”

“..Well, I don't exactly know you enough to not like you.”

“You could, get to know me that is. I would like to get to know you,” He says with a smile.

Oh. Well, this was… different. Not a bad thing, maybe, but strange indeed. “Oh, uh—“ (Y/n) was cut off and a bit distracted when she saw Quinni walking towards Spider to confront him about the 'Lazy kebab' rumor. Malakai glances at what caught the girl’s attention.

"Hey, Spider.” Quinni hands the guy a large blue folder, full of diagrams and images. Spider skims through with wide eyes, and makes a face.

"Yuck! What is this shit?"

"Oh. You don't like vaginas?” Quinni asks, seemingly genuine.

"No, I like vaginas.” Spider corrects her, thinking that the girl is implying something else.

Well, you clearly don't know much about them because if you have a look here…See most vaginas have very pronounced flaps, or labia, and some of them are even lopsided, where I'm assuming you got "Lazy Kebab" from, but it's very, very, normal. You wouldn't know, it's not taught in public schools much. Which is actually very— “ Quinni rambles as she points at the diagrams and pictures. People begin to notice the commotion and Spider’s reactions.

“I've seen heaps of vaginas. Thanks.” Spider says harshly shoving the folder back to the girl.

“Okay. I just assumed, on account of the fact that you were lying about seeing mine, that you were lying about seeing others too.” Quinni says calmly in her usual tone, directly insulting him and discrediting him in one sentence. The kids around snicker and laugh. (Y/n) watches with a proud smile.

"Look, of course, we didn't have sex. Why would I root a fucknut like you?” Spider retorts angrily walking away. A girl, Sasha comes up to compliment Quinni.

“That's your friend right?” Malakai asks (y/n) noticing her smile.

“Yes,"

"she’s amazing,”

“She is,” (Y/n) beams,

“You have a pretty smile,”

That makes (Y/n) pause and nervous. She was never really the best at these things. There is a reason why she was labeled as 'Fish' on the map. She turns her head away chuckling nervously, not sure how to respond. But like a knight in shining armour, Harper links her arm to hers.

“Hey, I needed to take a piss, come with me?” Harper says not paying attention to the boy. Until she notices the fidgety and shy look on her friend’s face and grins. “Am I interrupting?”

“No! I’ll come with you, bye Malakai.” (Y/n) says dragging the blond away who chuckles at her. Malakai stands where he was left with a smile watching the girls walk away.

“So, Malakai is it? Does little (Y/n) have a crush?” Harper teases.

“Why does everyone keep saying that? It's nothing, he’s just being friendly.”

“Yeah, I'm sure he’s being friendly… the ‘you have a pretty smile’ friendly.” Harper says mocking the conversation she heard earlier as she squats near the graves to pee.

“You hear that?!” (Y/n) turns to face away letting the girl piss in peace, but also a little embarrassed.

“Come on it's cute!”

“Shush— Oh shit.“

“What?”

“..Amerie.” (Y/n) says as if warning the other girl. The brown girl walks towards them both staring directly at Harper as she pees.

"Oi, can we talk?” Amerie says, eyeing (Y/n) who doesn't say anything but stays close to Harper, like a guard dog.

"Jesus. Let me finish.” Harper huffs. She pauses and continues, "Just talk until I can get going again."

"Why don't you want to be friends anymore? After everything, Harp? It's killing me. I just want to fix it. Please tell me how to fix it.”

"What happened to your hair?” Harper changes the subject.

"I cut it."

“Yourself?” Harper raises a brow.

"Yes,” Amerie says confidently, making (Y/n) scoff, Darren did her hair. Why lie?

Harper chuckles, pulling up her pants and buttoning them. "I told you not to watch those YouTube tutorials. You never listen."

"And you never talk. What happened? We were fine up until the festival.” Amerie says desperately wanting to get closer, only to have (Y/n) step in a bit, protectively. "I went to your house and you weren’t—“

“Why did you go to my house?"

"You weren't talking to me—“

"So you stalked my house and harassed my dad?"

"I didn't harass your dad,” Amerie says lightly.

"That is such the typical psycho thing for you to do."

"You're the psycho. You ruined my life."

"Ruined your life? All this sh*t, Amerie, the map, your stupid fucking crush on Dusty, do you not understand how unimportant it all is? You're a child.” Harper snaps.

"That's not a reason to dump me. What's happened to you? Harper. I just want to move on.” Amerie says softly.

"And I don't want you in my life anymore,” Harper says harshly, tugging (Y/n) along with her.

“Since when did you replace me with (Y/n),” Amerie retorts in a last-ditch effort.

“I didn’t do shit. Unlike you, she’s actually my friend.” Harper defends (Y/n) while hurting Amerie in the process. Harper and (Y/n) walk away from the brown girl. (Y/n) notices the girl shaking and holding her hand gently squeezing back and letting Harper catch her breath and calm down.

“..Thanks, Harper.. you didn’t have to,”

“i did. You have always been there for me. The least I can do is be there for you too,” Harper says focusing on the way (Y/n)’s thumb rubs over her still-cracked knuckles. The two head back to the party, hand in hand.

@inkpot-winters

@juhdoche

@minnipe

thank you for waiting, sorry for any grammar mistakes and a short chap. <3

#heartbreakhigh #heartbreakhighamerie #amerie #harpermclean #malakai #malakai x reader #harper x reader #heartbreakhigh2022 #darren #quinni #heartbreakhighdarren #heartbreakhighquinni #heartbreak high x reader

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meangirls-imagines · 10 months ago

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There For You

Description: Reader goes through a rough breakup and Regina and Janis are there for them. Feelings get revealed and Reader's heart gets mended.

Note: bubs, i love you a lot! this is for you! (Y/N goes by they/them pronouns in this one!)

Go send some love to bubs (@yungpoetfics)

Breakups sucked.

The world was a cruel place. No breakup sucked more than the ones from someone you thought loved you.

Y/N had broken up with their partner and was currently laying in bed heartbroken. They didn't know what to do, who to talk to. Well, there were a couple of people Y/N could talk to but they didn't wanna be a bother.

As Y/N's finger hovered over the contact photo of the blonde, they stopped. Did they really wanna talk about it so soon? Without thinking, their finger slipped and hit the call button.

Across town, Regina was hanging out with Janis. The two had since made up since the whole "incident" and were quite civil. They had recently bonded over fashion, school issues, and their feelings for Y/N.

They had both revealed to each other their feelings for their friend accidentally one night and then talked to each other about possibly dating Y/N.

Regina's phone rang as the blonde paused the movie her and Janis were watching. "Ooh. It's Y/N!" The blonde happily answered the phone.

"Hi bubs! What's up?"

Regina heard sniffling on the line and instantly got worried. "Bubs? Everything okay?" Janis looked at Regina worriedly as the blonde tried to talk to Y/N.

"Bubs? You with me?" Y/N sniffled. "They broke up with me." Regina felt rage surge through her body. "What? They broke up with you?" Janis was on her feet in an instant.

"They broke up with me. They just gave up." Regina's heart broke at the news. How dare they break her baby's heart like that? "What do you need from me, bubs? Or Janis?"

Y/N got even more sad at the thought of accidentally messing up their hangout. "No, it's fine. I'll be fine. You guys can hang out more." Regina tried to stop Y/N but they had already hung up. "Fuck. Janis, put your shoes on."

Janis nodded as the two got ready and headed to Y/N.

The two made a pit stop and got some of Y/N's favorite snacks and sweets before heading to their house. Y/N's mom let them in, letting them know that Y/N was still in bed and she let them up to Y/N's room.

Regina knocked on the door softly. "Bubs? It's me and Janis. Can we come in?" They heard a soft "yeah" before they carefully walked into the room.

Their hearts broke at the sight of Y/N. They were curled up in bed, drowned by the blanket. Janis went to Y/N's side as Regina put the goodies down. Janis took her shoes off and got onto the bed. "Wanna come out from those blankets for us baby?"

Y/N slowly crept out of the blanket and the girls' hearts broke more.

They had tear tracks going down their face, their eyes were puffy and red. Regina pulled Y/N into her embrace, cradling them to her chest. Y/N instantly hid in the girl's bust, trying not to cry.

"Shhh, bubs. You'll be okay. We're here now. We aren't leaving you alone." Y/N began sobbing at those words. Regina held them tighter as Janis wrapped her arms around the two.

The trio sat like that for a while, as Y/N's sobs faded. "They said they would never leave me. And they lied." Regina held Y/N close to her chest. "I know bubs. I know."

Y/N pushed away from Regina and Janis. "No. You don't know. They gave up, Regina. Gave up on me, on us! How am I supposed to believe anyone else won't do the same thing?"

Janis spoke up. "Y/N, we would never leave you like that." Y/N snapped. "Yes. Yes, you would. Why wouldn't you? Everyone else does!" Regina looked at Y/N sadly. "Bubs, we promise." Y/N shook their head.

"Don't write checks you can't cash, Regina. It's the same old fucking story. They come, they tell me they love me, and then they fucking leave. Why are you two any different?"

Regina stood. "Because we fucking love you Y/N. Fuck them for making you feel this way. We love you. We want to love you forever. We would never break your heart like they did. Just please, give us a chance."

Janis stood too, slowly making her way to Y/N. "Y/N. We want to help you feel loved and also help you love yourself the way we do. We won't hurt you like they did. We could never. You're too special to us." Y/N broke down crying at the girl's words.

They went to Regina and buried themselves in the blonde's chest. "Promise?" Regina held out a hand. "Pinky promise, bubs." Y/N hesitantly secured their pinky around the blondes.

"They used to make pinky promises too..." Regina kissed Y/N's forehead. "Let's get your mind off of them tonight, huh bubs?"

The rest of the night was spent with Y/N laying in-between Janis and Regina, the two showering them with love and extra reassurance. Y/N eventually fell asleep, head resting on Regina's boobs.

The blonde looked at Janis and smiled. "Guess you'll have to share boob privilege, Janis." Janis looked at Y/N and smiled.

"I can live with that."

#rejanis x reader #regina george x reader #janis imiike x reader #mean girls imagines #mean girls 2024

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queenofthepirates83 · 6 months ago

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Sal Fisher x Reader

“I like you too”

Tag: fluff, one-shot

Tw: none(but tell me if there is)

Words: 851

A/N: first fanfic! Sorry this is short I wrote this a while ago and decided to finish it now lol, also sorry if it’s bad

When you first moved into the Addison Apartments you weren’t happy or anything. It wasn’t like you wanted to stay in that house, no. Your mom thought it would be best to move out, away from all the bad memories your stepfather had created in that house.

You first met Larry, courtesy of his mother, who loved you almost instantly. Larry introduced you to Sal, you guys got along great. Then one thing led to another and now you’re sitting in your room, thinking about Sal.

You sighed knowing that you couldn’t stay in your room forever. You had to tell Sal how you really felt. No jokes or excuses this time.

Last time you tried to do it you made a complete fool of yourself and made an excuse and just left and hid in your room.

But you have to tell Sal how you felt towards him. Larry kept telling you that he felt the same way but you wouldn’t believe him. So Larry put you two in the same room, left and waited for you to confess your feelings.

You didn’t trust Larry. You didn’t believe what he said but in all honesty it was true. Sal did like you back and not just in a friendly way.

You sighed and got off your bed and went to your closet to get pants on.(you went to bed with a shirt and your underwear. Or not, it’s your choice.) You chose (your choice of pants) and walked away to your door and opened it. You walked out and noticed your mom on the couch passed out. She had on her nurse clothes, since she took another night shift for the money.

You sighed and went over to the kitchen, grabbing a juice. You walked back to the front door crouching down to put some shoes on.

Once they were on you opened the front door and walked/took the elevator to his apartment.

You were at his door, contemplating if you should knock or not and just leave. You sighed, knowing that Larry would tell Sal himself if you didn’t do it. You knocked on Sal’s door once you built up the confidence. You stood there for a few more minutes before Sal opened the door. His hair was a little messy and the collar of his shirt looked like he almost pulled it to one side. “Hey Sal, wanna hang out for a little?”

Sal nodded and stood aside for you to walk in. You smiled and walked into his apartment. Sal closed the door and walked to his. You followed him. You both walked into his room. You looked around for a moment as Sal shut the door.

“When was the last time you cleaned?” You asked, glancing around again as you took some clothes off the floor and put it in his laundry hamper.

He shrugged as he watched you, sitting down on his bed. “Can’t remember.”

“You don’t seem to remember a lot.”

He shrugged again, staring at you through his mask. “Why’d you come over anyway?”

You stared back at him as you sat down next to him on the bed. “Just wanted to talk.”

“…about?”

You felt yourself getting nervous as he pressed on. What was his reaction going to be once you told him? Was Larry correct? What about Ash? The two seem quite close. The questions swirled around your mind like a plague. You liked Ash, she was a good friend to you and the other three. But her and Sal are close too, and not just in a friendly way.

Sal tilted his head down a little as he stared at you. “Hm?”

You blinked, your vision becoming less blurry as your vision focused on him. “Uh…Larry wanted me to tell you something.”

He nodded slowly. Sal was half aware of your feelings for him, from what Larry had told him and from how you act when you’re around him. He also didn’t believe Larry, just like how you did. And Sal did like you, he did have feelings for you.

“Eh…” you blinked again, squinting your eyes at him as his gaze only intensified, whether he realized or not. “I like you.”

And those were the three words that confirmed everything. The corner of his lips turned up, his gaze softening as he stared at you. His felt his face get a little red, the tips of his ears going red too.

You felt yourself get nervous at his…well…lack of response. Not even an ‘oh’ or ‘wow’.

“Sal…?” You asked slowly.

He simply stared at you before he moved to take his mask off.

You had seen his face before, he took it off in front of you a while ago. He felt comfortable showing you his face, which in your book was good. Really good.

When his mask was off, he set it beside him before moving closer.

You smiled, admiring him for a moment before you leaned in a little, your lips meeting his scarred ones in a soft and gentle kiss.

“I like you too.”

#sally face #sal fisher #sally face x reader #sal fisher x reader #sal fisher x y/n #sal fisher x you #sally face x y/n #sally face x you #fanfic #fluff #larry johnson #oneshot #one shot

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1l-ynn · 4 months ago

Text

Want You So Bad

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

1.4k words // use of y/n // mutual pining-ish

a/n: this is very long and WILL HAVE a part 2. i realized that i kinda didnt focus on the romance of this like at all... EEK I am open to any feedback!! please tell me if there's anything i need to fix

part two

"No ones asked you? For real?" Nobaras brows pinched in confusion as she stabbed at the peices of lettuce in her bowl. Homecoming was just around the corner, and although you didn't care to go, seeing all your friends get asked out left and right left a bad taste in your mouth.

It seemed like everyone and their moms were getting asked out. Of course the cutest couple, Kirara and Hakari were going together no questions asked. Maki had asked Yuta an hour before lunch. Toge and Panda were going just to cause chaos, and having no one else, Nobara and Yuji decided to go together.

"Yes for real. What did you expect?" You scrunched your face, huffing as you sipped on your strawberry milk. Your style was admittedly different from your group of friends, their light colors and fast fashion seemed to clash with your velvety style. Not even the school uniform could conceal your preference for darker clothes. Maybe thats what scared others off.

"Well you can always go with Yuji and I, I doubt Megumis coming." She drops her fork, wiping her mouth and dusting her hands off. The lunch period was coming to an end. And as she rises from the table, bringing her tray with her, she finishes her statement. "Not unless Yuji successfully forces him."

Megumi had the right idea. Who'd wanna go to an event where high school students get together in a stuffy gym room with their tacky decorations and overplayed pop music? Or better yet, where the girls are practically breaking their ankles from their heels and the guys are sweating bullets into the cheap fabric of their suits.

"Then what's the point of even going?" You say, trying to match her walking pace. You and Megumi weren't close, but that didn't stop the fuzziness you felt anytime he was near.

Though you're sure he doesn't look your way.

It was practically common sense that Megumi wouldn't be joining you guys, he was more of a home body. There's been countless times where you went to hang out with the group and he was no where to be seen. But that's okay, his isolation only made you wanna learn more about what was under those brooding expressions and the walls he kept up so high.

---------

"You're fucking lucky." The dark haired boy grumbled, he looked rather sharp this evening. Too sharp. He was originally planning on pulling an all nighter. Playing valorant until his eyes bled or until Tsumiki had enough of the string of obscenities he would scream at the TV each time he died.

But no, here he was being Yuji and Nobaras personal driver. He's lucky for Gojo, without him Megumi would look a hot mess. He was dressed in a dark gray button up paired with black slacks. His hair was unruly and had no plan to tame itself, and his cologne had this trace of woody scent.

"C'mon Megs- it'll be fun!" Yuji said enthusiastically, though it didn't take a scientist to realize that was bullshit. Megumi knew that he was really there to drive them from homecoming to some after party. "Plus! Y/n's coming, aren't you excited?"

Thats what got him. It was the best manipulation tactic ever, and Yuji knew it. Although he would kill to go back home, get in some sweats and play Valorant, nothing beat the rush of excitement he got thinking about how nice you would look. Granted you always looked nice, your style was always something that interested him.

Your eerie color scheme appealed to others, but Megumi wanted to be the one to uncover those secrets you hid behind those drappy sleeves. Though its not like you guys were close, he was fine wondering why you were thinking behind those perfectly blended smoky eyes.

"Who knows maybe something'll happen tonight?"

"Yeah right, this is so dumb." Megumi ran a hand through his hair. "She's probably gonna latch onto Nobara."

"Okay yeah but- its worth a shot right?" Yuji gives Megumi a sheepish smile that he only rolls his eyes at. He huffs as he pulls out of the driveway and on to Nobaras.

------

"I don't know..." You stood in front of Nobaras full body mirror. Looking at the dress you guys rushed to buy a few days ago. It was complete luck you got such a beautiful dress, completely your style. The fabric was made of black lace, its corset was tight and form fitting, and the neckline hung a little lower against your chest.

Nobara and Maki give eachother a pointed look before looking back at you. Could you see yourself right now? "Girl what are you talking about? There's nothing wrong." Maki says as she touches up her lipstick. She looks up at you with an incredibly deep scowl. You silently cursed yourself for being the reason for Makis sour face.

Maki set down her red lipstick, it went perfectly with the green pattern of her dress. It was a simple style, the only thing about it was the cut in the skirt. Nonetheless she looked perfect. Yuta would think so aswell.

"Yeah, you look fine.." Nobara pauses before looking at you cheekily, a smirk painting its way onto her face. "You look fine."

She was in a satin red dress with an asymmetrical skirt. Her black heels were practically toothpicks, it was insane how she was keeping herself upright.

You roll your eyes, continuing to pick yourself apart. "Doesn't something look off?" Maybe it was because your hair pins were poking into your head and you were sure it was gonna give you a headache. Or maybe it was the fact that your makeup was a lot lighter than usual.

"Look, you look great. Those guys are gonna wish they were got their grabs, okay?" She hugs you from behind, pouting a bit before starts speaking. "Y'know-"

"KUGISAKI. The boys are down here." Her grandmother called from downstairs.

The boys..? Wasnt it just supposed to be Yuji?

"Finally." Maki grumbled, grabbing her hand purse and walking out the door.

"Wait, what does she mean boys-?" Your question goes unanswered as she unlatches from your back, grabbing her purse and making her way out the door.

Her head pops in for a second. "You look fucking hot, okay?" The brunette gives you one last smirk before saying "Megumi will think so, now let's go."

"Wait- what?!"

---

"They've been up there all evening. I don't even think they got any food..." Nobaras grandma says as she wraps up the last of her Onigiri. Placing them into a small bag before handing it to Yuji. His fat ass already digging in. "Take these so you guys don't starve."

Megumi's face immediately pulls into a scowl, as he raises a hand to smack Yuji with. Earning a yelp from the pink haired boy. "Thank you Ma'am. Thats very generous of you."

"Ehh..Don't mention it." She waves her hand, beginning to clean the kitchen. Just in time for the girls to start walking down. First Maki, then Nobara and lastly y/n..

Y/n...?

"Oh would you c'mon already?!" Nobara throws her head back in exasperation. She looked up at the stairs with an expectant glance. "God so help me-"

Megumis adams apple bobbed in his throat, holding that same expecting glance. He was silently preparing himself for your arrival. His brain filling with possibilities of what you could be wearing.

"Get down here before we drag you down." Maki was already starting to stomp up the stairs.

"Okay- okay I'm coming.." You slowly walk down steps, Your hands clutching onto your long skirt so it wouldn't get caught under your heel.

Megumi's breath hitched- There you were in all your glory. Your dress was perfect. The corset fit snugly on your waist. Like it was tailored to your form, or better yet a second skin. It continued to hug you down to your knees showing off the cute divots where your hips were. Your sleeves went down in that same fashion, draping down your forearm. And to top it all off your neckline rested just a bit lower than your collarbones.

Megumi practically had hearts for eyes, watching you look around nervously. Your makeup was simpler than usual but that didn't take away from the look overall. He was stuck in that daze until you both locked eyes.

"Finally. Now let's go take pictures!"

part two

#helpme.#ੈ✩‧₊˚lynns library #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi x reader #megumi x you #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen drabbles #jjk x reader #megumi's with an emo baddie frfr

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ihopeiexplode · 8 months ago

Text

📱 “Two Fools Inlove” [←Previous | Next→]

—

"you know you didn't have to bring anything right?"

"yeah I know, just felt like bringing something"

"what's in it?"

"food what else dumbass?"

"coming from you probably someones head"

"wow very funny."

As he gave you the bag you were greeted with some desserts, homemade ones to be exact

"I thought you were bad at cooking?"

"Ive gotten better"

"sure you have..."

—

"SUKUNA LOOK LOOK"

"What am I looking at?"

"isn't the statute pretty??"

"I guess? All I see is some naked woman"

"you clearly don't understand art..."

"how do I not understand art when I literally paint, do poetry and calligraphy"

"you expect me to believe that?"

"yes"

"wait your serious?"

"did you think im not?"

"I find that hard to believe..."

"what hobbies did you think I had??"

"dunno tormenting people maybe? You seem like the type"

—

"I don't know how to bowl"

"how? It's literally so easy just throw the ball and there"

With that he'd toss bowling the ball to you as if it was nothing??

The moment he tossed it you immediately moved to the side

"WHAT THE FUCK??"

"your being dramatic it isn't that heavy"

"YES IT IS?? I COULD'VE BROKEN A BONE"

"I'd break it myself if you keep acting like a drama queen"

You'd roll your eyes before picking up the ball from the ground and throwing it into the bowling lane, as you did,, however you didn't even manage to hit a single bowling pin..and when Sukuna saw it he immediately laughed at your failed attempt

He'd pick up another ball and hand it to you as he stood behind you

"you're doing it wrong, here"

With that he'd manhandle your body into a proper stance, once he was finished he backed up and told you to throw

And when you did you managed to hit all of the Bowling pins as you did so you immediately jumped and giggled

Sukuna was about to find it adorable but you just HAD to act cocky. When you did he immediately flicked your head

"you wouldn't have done it without me, don't act to confident"

"can't a girl dream?"

"yeah but you can't"

"wow okay.."

—

"Sukuna what are you doing here?"

"Yuji asked me to come along to watch him skygazing"

"I'm surprised you agreed"

"didn't had a Choice"

"how come?"

"our mom told me I can't leave him alone, which is ridiculous he's perfectly fine by himself"

"speaking of wheres Yuji?"

"he ran into Megumi so he's having some quality time with his 'bestfriend', anyway why are you here?"

"just felt like it"

"what's so good about skygazing your just looking at stars what's so good about it"

"do you always have to be bitter?"

"always"

—

Both you and Sukuna would be sitting on the blanket you laid out on the floor as you two sat close to one another while looking at the stars, till you spoke

"you know Sukuna, I've been thinking"

"didn't know you had a brain"

"nevermind."

"I'm kidding, continue"

"I guess you aren't really that bad, you fare un to hang out with, surprisingly...I thought I wouldn't have that much fun spending this much time with you but guess I was wrong"

"so what were friends now?"

"dunno, if you want I guess"

He wants to say something so badly. But he knows once he does his feelings would spill out. And he doesn't wanna do that right when you both are finally on good terms.

—

Sukuna and uraume would be talking to one another as they sat down on a nearby chair

"how's things with y/n?"

"I guess it's okay, I went skygazing with her yesterday and she sorta confessed how I'm not that bad,"

"looks like you have a chance"

"chance for?"

"a chance to get with her? What else? It's obvious you like her"

"don't be ridiculous. Why would I like her?

"why would I like someone like y/n, the only reason I'm doing this is for the project nothing else, it's not like I care, let alone have feelings towards her"

"if anything when she told me her little confession I was on the verge of laughing, she really is pathetic isn't she? As if I'd be her friend"

"After this is over I'll just stop talking to her, simple,"

He's wondering why he's saying all of this? He knows he likes you but he won't admit that. He won't admit he's been chasing after you for years. He won't admit how he liked you despite how you felt about him. Sukuna isn't some pathetic loser he won't beg. He won't act desperate

After Sukuna finished talking he'd noticed how quiet they became, before he could ask what was wrong he heard a sound behind him, and when he turned around he saw you...

You stood behind him as you just stared at him wide eyed with your fist clenched, you were a fool to think a person like Sukuna would change, why would he ever change? It's still the same Sukuna deep down no matter what he does.

"how much did you hear?"

"all of it."

—

[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^

A/N: be honest does this sound like Sukuna atp...he's so out of character I'm about to jump off a cliff

Taglist: @catobsessedlady @hellomeow12 @0-candlecove-0 @shivzypuff @swirlingcurses @1-800-choke-that-ho @attackonnat @chilichopsticks @getoxmahito @memenojutsu @uhnanix @ichorstainedskin @needtoloveoutloud @love-me-satoru @s-j320 @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @goj0sunglasses @svtvrnal @haitanibros0007 @punkhazardlaw @mslydiaa @jayathelostdragon @caileysdead @rixyaaaa @minzxec @rzcnlb

#jjk smau #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #jjk sukuna #Sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x you

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notafunkiller · 1 year ago

Text

cherry

Summary: During your family getaway, things get a little messy when you meet Bucky's old friend.

Pairing: (fake) boyfriend’s brother!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warnings: age gap (r is 26, Bucky is 38/39), teasing, pet names, language, alcohol, mentions of sex, jealousy, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 4.5K

story masterlist

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: This story will have around 4 parts, this is the 2nd part.

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

You keep coming across each other in the morning and during dinner for the next couple of days. He’d refused the offer, you heard from Jessica. You noticed he doesn’t enjoy talking about business in general, so you never open the conversation about it.

His family is really lying to him without shame, and you can sense how cold their bond is, but what can you do? You wish he knew... you wish you could talk about it with him. If only...

That’s why you are surprised when both of your families decide to organize a getaway in Austria for the weekend, and Bucky is coming along.

Thankfully, the cabin you’re staying at has more than enough rooms even with Bucky and William’s sister there.

Rebecca is a physiotherapist, she’s thirty and she lives in France. She seems very close to Bucky. They’ve been hanging around a lot since you arrived.

You wish you could say you are close to your family. You’ve been barely speaking to your mom since this whole arrangement became a real thing. But you didn’t say even a single word to your dad. And Bucky noticed, but he didn’t comment on it even as he helped you get your luggage to your room.

“You know I could have done that myself, right?” You smile.

“No need to. Your boyfriend should have, but he’s a punk.” He shakes his head disapprovingly. “No wonder why you won’t...”

You immediately puff, anticipating what he wanted to say. Why does he want to bring that up? “What, fuck him?”

“I was gonna say share the room with him. My little brother’s sex life is none of my concern.”

You nod, all flushed. “Good. I’ll go take a shower and be right back.”

You don’t know why you tell him this because it’s not like it’s his job to inform anyone. That should be William’s, but he’s not here. And even if he were, you know you wouldn’t ask him to.

“Alright. Uhm, see you later.”

Bucky didn’t anticipate Rebecca waiting for him in the doorway of his room. She has a “I know everything” look, making him blush even though he did nothing wrong.

“How old is she?” She asks soon as Bucky closes the door.

“Who?”

“You know who, Bucky.” She jumps on his bed amused. “Your little crush.”

He puffs in response as if that’s a real answer.

“Come on, don’t be mad. It’s okay. Maybe she’ll realize she is into older guys.”

“Rebecca!”

“What?”

Bucky groans. “You are talking about our brother’s girlfriend.”

Rebecca’s eyes glow, and he has no idea what he’s just started.

“They haven’t been together long though. I doubt two people who live in different rooms-”

For some reason, he gets defensive immediately and interrupts her. “That is their choice and you should respect it.”

So it’s hers, Rebecca puts two and two together.

“You think he is that bad?” Rebecca changes the subject a bit to get more out of him, and Bucky realizes, but he can’t help but ask.

“What?”

“In bed. She seems angry all the time.”

She doesn’t remember the last time she saw her brother looking like this. This is more than a crush at this point. He’s annoyed, angry and livid, all at once.

“What? You never thought about it? Never heard them?”

“Can you go to your room now?” He snaps, trying to brush the images of you with William off his mind. It makes him sick to his stomach. “I don’t wanna talk about my little brother’s sex life!”

Rebecca laughs, walking to the door.

“You didn’t deny she’s your crush! And I didn’t even say her name, by the way.”

Shit... He didn’t even realize. Things are going too far, he needs to snap out of it.

“Your room, Rebecca.”

“Such a bad man, mid-life crisis hitting you two years...” She stops for a few seconds before she corrects herself with a wink. “One earlier.”

Bucky groans. “Rebecca!”

“She’s into you anyways, Buck. You’ll save him from dating or even marrying someone who doesn’t love him.”

Somehow, her words set him on fire and cool him at the same time. Rebecca is good at reading people, and he sensed something is off about you and William, too, but how can he hope... how can he think about kissing his brother’s girlfriend even after a break up?

“She was checking your ass on the stairs.” She adds with a smirk. “And it was not subtle.”

And then he’s left alone with his confusing thoughts and feelings.

Something’s wrong with him. He’s been completely —and obviously— avoiding you ever since he helped you with the luggage, and you wonder what you did wrong. As soon as you get inside any room he is in, he finds excuses to leave. Was your tone too rude earlier? You didn’t intend to get mad, but you couldn’t help it.

You know he is an adult, and he should be able to face you even if it bothers him, yet you can’t help but feel bad when you see him outside, in the cold.

You take the nearest blanket without thinking twice and open the door.

His head snaps in your direction, and you smile shyly, wrapping the blanket around his back.

“Don’t worry, I won’t bother you, I just came to give you this.”

His shoulders relax, and he reaches out to take your hand. “Thank you! You’re not bothering me at all. You can sit with me if you want.”

Neither of you has any idea where this came from. You thought he didn’t want to be around you, but how can you say no to this?

You sit on the chair next to him and smile when he covers you with the blanket.

“No, no. This is for you.”

“I’m not gonna let you catch a cold, love.” His voice sounds authoritative but not distant.

“Then let’s share.” You grab the end of the blanket and adjust it until you are both covered. “See? Perfect!”

After that, you’re quiet for a few seconds, trying to find the right thing to say or ask him.

“Are you alright?”

Bucky smiles. “I’m alright.”

“Well, you look alright.”

He blushes and laughs at the same time, making you giggle. He looks so adorable like this.

“Then why did you ask that?”

“To make you smile. You were quite tense.”

“When?” He tilts his head, and your shoulders touch under the blanket.

“Ever since we arrived, to be honest. Did I do anything to upset you?”

“No, love, you didn’t upset me.” He immediately assures you, but you’re not certain he’s being honest, and he senses it. “I mean it, I’m sorry if I gave you that impression and made you uncomfortable.”

It’s easy to notice when he is lying at least. He surely didn’t intend to make you feel bad, but he’s been avoiding you.

“Don’t worry about me.” You sigh. “You can just tell me next time, though. So I won’t be in your way.”

“What does that mean?” He can feel the panic rushing through his whole body.

“I mean, it’s your family, and they decided to have this random vacation. I could have stayed home.”

Not entirely true because you were asked to come along.

“Well, your family is here too, plus your boyfriend. But it’s irrelevant, anyway. I am sorry for ignoring you, I was just… consumed by my thoughts,” he says honestly, and you smile.

“It’s okay. It happens to me too.”

Especially when it comes to him.

“Why are you not with William?”

You try not to look disappointed as you answer. He has a point to ask you that. After all, William is your official boyfriend, and you two didn’t spend much time together. But you hate it anyway.

“You want me to leave, huh?”

You try to take off the blanket, but he doesn’t let you.

“No, no. Don’t go, I mean... I just expected you two to spend more time together.”

“Well, I wasn’t too keen on coming here. I have a lot of work to do on Monday, and I wanted to prepare some docs beforehand, but my parents forced me indirectly to...” Bucky snorts, amused for some reason, so you stop talking.

“You don’t like spending time with old people much, do you?”

Old people? Does he mean your parents?

“By old people you mean you?” You ask jokingly and turn to him just to see him smirking. The little beard he grew over the last few days makes him somehow even more gorgeous. He’s probably, truth be told, the most attractive man you’ve ever met.

“Yep. I’m turning thirty-nine after all.”

Holy fuck... The question is why you find this so sexy.

“That’s a very nice age,” you comment amused, playing with the edge of the blanket. “You make thirty-eight look very good.”

You don’t have to look at him to know he is smiling again. Good, he should know, and it’s not wrong to compliment someone.

“Thanks.”

You start to talk about random things shortly after: jobs, projects, random hobbies. He is shocked you enjoy origami, and you can’t believe he was in a band during high school. Well, you can imagine it, but it still surprises you. It’s comfortable and nice, but every time he calls you love, you feel yourself shivering more and more. And he senses it, immediately starting to brush your arms with his hands under the blanket.

“Maybe you should go inside.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” you protest, melting under his touch. It feels so good. “Can I ask you something?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

“Ha, funny!” You playfully roll your eyes. “Is it your parents’ anniversary or something?”

Bucky lets out a chuckle. “No, no special occasion for them. Why?”

“Saw a birthday cake...”

“It’s not for them.”

Fuck, is it William’s birthday? No way. Your parents would have told you… you wish you checked the calendar with everyone’s birthday before starting this conversation.

“Is it Rebecca’s?”

“Nope.

“Then...” You think for a little and when it hits you, you gasp. “Yours?”

“Yep.” He pauses, turning his head just enough so he can look into your eyes. “My daddification era is starting.”

Your immediate reaction is a burst of laughter as the lightheartedness of the moment caught you off guard, followed by a flush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. It feels like your face is on fire.

“But you’re not turning forty...” You mumble, your words barely audible. “I mean, I had no idea. I’m so, so sorry, it’s so embarrassing!”

“So no gift for me, huh?” He teases, utterly unfazed. He hadn’t expected anything at all, and seeing you blush so furiously is endearing. “I feel deeply hurt.”

Without thinking, you lightly slap his chest. “Shut up!”

“That’s not how you talk to your elders, ma’am.”

“Okay, dad,” you snort in response, but there’s a momentary pause from Bucky. He holds his breath, a flicker of different emotions crossing his face.

The knock on the door doesn’t wake him up, but it surprises him. He slowly drops his phone on the bed and puts on the nearest T-shirt before opening the door.

There’s no one there waiting, instead, he finds a tall cocktail glass made of paper with a note inside it. Confused, he carefully picks it up from the floor before getting back inside again.

If you don’t drink anything today, I’m gonna punish you... with my presence.

So think twice before refusing :)

Happy birthday, Mr. Barnes

What Bucky doesn’t expect when he gets downstairs in a great, great mood is to see you, Rebecca, and Cherry talking on the couch.

He freezes, shocked, but he doesn’t have time to recover before everyone starts to hug and wish him a happy birthday. Cherry kisses both of his cheeks and hands him a small gift, which he assumes it’s a watch based on the size.

“Surprise!”

Bucky smiles. “It’s actually a surprise, I really didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Becca said we should keep it a secret. When did I ever miss your birthday?”

He instantly looks in your direction, worried for some reason you might misunderstand this situation, but you don’t seem mad at all. And why would you? You are with his brother. You’re not his. Not even a little. Because if you were...

Rebecca smirks satisfied and hugs him too. “Happy birthday, grandpa!”

He hears you laugh, and before he can think twice about it, he sticks out his tongue playfully toward you.

“Keep it low with the flirting, will you? Your little brother is in the room,” Rebecca whispers, amused, in Bucky’s ear before letting you wish him a happy birthday.

You stop awkwardly in front of him, wondering if you should hug or kiss his cheeks.

He makes the decision for you, grabbing you by your waist and getting you closer. You open your arms and wrap them around his back, shocked, knowing how intimate the way he’s holding you might look. But you don’t care. You let yourself enjoy this as you rest your chin on top of his shoulder.

“Happy birthday, Mr. Barnes.”

“Thanks for the drink, love. The best gift I received.”

You hide your smile in his shirt.

“You haven’t even opened others yet.”

“I don’t have to.”

You bite your lip, breaking the hug before it gets too suspicious, and give him space so your mom can wish him a happy birthday.

Rebecca winks at you, which makes you even more confused, but you don’t think much about it, focusing on Bucky.

The breakfast goes well, with Bucky in the center of attention despite his obvious attempts to shift the focus to anyone else. Your parents decide to get some shopping done around lunch and get some food for all of you, so you don’t have to worry about much. William tries to do some affectionate gestures from time to time, but you ignore them as much as you can, without making it obvious. You still have to play your part.

Cherry seems like a nice girl. She’s Rebecca’s age and they met during university. They all have been friends for a couple of years, and it’s easy to see that by how comfortable they act around each other.

As they talk about some fancy place in Spain you’ve never been to, you scroll randomly on Instagram.

You decide to search Rebecca and Cherry up so you can follow them, and as you look at Rebecca’s photos, one post in particular catches your eye.

You can’t hold back your gasp, which immediately draws Bucky’s attention.

“You good?”

“Yes,” you answer absently and zoom in on the first pic. There are around ten people there, including Bucky, Rebecca, and Cherry. It’s clear they are all close, but you didn’t realize how close Bucky and Cherry are. They are sitting next to each other in almost every photo. In the second to last one, he is holding her by the waist in a very boyfriend way, which makes you close your eyes.

Of course they were a thing. Of course! And now she’s here... You feel close to crying and you don’t remember the last time you felt so stupid.

Why do you care so much? You are officially dating his brother and you’ve been just friends.

You close the app quickly and stand up, ignoring Bucky’s eyes on your back as you announce, for the sake of appearances, that you’re gonna take a nap.

You don’t let yourself tear up until you close the door.

What if they hook up again here? What if you’ll hear them?

Jesus, anything but that! You couldn’t bear it... You’d be sick for real.

You don’t go down for lunch. Your mom comes a few times to check on you, then William, then your mom again with lunch.

You feel hurt and annoyed with yourself. You can’t act like a kid all the time, so when Rebecca comes to check on you, you decide to go downstairs with her.

Bucky looks at you immediately, concerned and confused, but you don’t let your eyes linger too much on him, especially since he is sitting next to Cherry. You drop onto the couch, next to William, and he smiles.

“Feeling better?”

“Much!” You lie, but you do it well enough not to get questioned.

“So now that we’re all here, can we see the surprise, Buck?” Rebecca asks excitedly.

You watch Bucky get up without saying anything, and everyone stays quiet until he returns with a tray full of drinks. He keeps one to himself and takes another one that looks like a cherry mocktail while everyone else hurries up to take one of the drinks. Bucky heads toward you with a smile. “I guess I am not as rusty as I told you last night.”

You know exactly what he means: his first job was as a bartender. He shared stories with you about glasses he broke in the first month, but how he learned, yet it’s been years since he’s made a drink.

You can’t deny the drink looks tempting, especially with your penchant for cherries, but the mere thought of sipping it turns your stomach. “Thanks, but I can’t drink this.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows, the wrinkles on his forehead becoming more pronounced. “What’s wrong? Still feeling sick?”

“No, I just hate cherries. I can’t drink it,” you lie in a disgusted tone, keeping your eyes on the table.

“Do you want me to make you another one?” He asks immediately, surprised because he saw you eating cherries before. Why would you hate them all of a sudden?

Cherry herself is walking toward you with Rebecca, so in a moment of madness, you extend your hand. “Can I taste yours?”

Bucky nods, and you immediately take the glass from his hand and take a sip.

It tastes okay, but it’s not your favorite, for sure.

“Thanks, but I’m okay.”

“Is it bad? Should I-”

“I’m fine, enjoy your drinks, Bucky. It’s your birthday.” You try to sound as casual as possible. “Gonna get some wine.”

“Wine?” Your mom's surprise is evident in her voice. “Since when do you drink wine?”

“Special occasion. My brother-in-law,” You have to force the words out of your mouth without choking. “Is turning thirty-nine.”

You haven't even gotten tipsy until now, so the half glass of wine, combined with the lack of a proper lunch, makes you feel a bit dizzy. Rebecca immediately catches on and nudges Bucky, who’s been on the edge all night, to help you. William and your parents have already gone to their rooms.

You’re half asleep when you feel Bucky’s arms wrapping around your waist, causing you to open your eyes in shock.

“What are you doing? Let me down.” Your face makes contact with his chest as you speak.

“I’m taking you to bed.”

You snort immediately, letting him climb the stairs with you in his arms. “You can’t take me to bed, silly. Go back to your p-pretty... friend.”

“I’m carrying my pretty friend right now.”

“Smooth talker.” You sigh when he opens the door. “Not me.”

“Who do you mean then, love?” He helps you sit on the bed, and you instinctively reach for his hand, running your fingers along it. His skin feels remarkably soft and warm. You don’t remember the last time you found hands attractive. Or veins. At least, not like this…

Deep down, you know you never stood a chance anyway. Even if you weren’t officially with William, you’re far from Bucky’s type. Cherry, from what you've observed, is an amazing woman, and you can admit that he has great taste.

He probably sees you as too young for him, perhaps even as a little girl.

You scrunch your nose, and Bucky sits on the bed too since you won’t let go of his hand. He allows himself to enjoy this fleeting moment for a few seconds, aware that it won’t last. This won't hurt anyone, right?

“She’s so pretty and nice, I get it.”

“Get what, love? And who is pretty?” He lets you take his other hand too as he gently asks.

“Cherry.” You sigh, tapping his palms with yours lightly. “I guess she came here to win you back. And I understand. But like... you’d be wasted,” you complain, grabbing his face all of a sudden.

Bucky leans in instantly, closing his eyes.

“If something didn’t work once, why would it work now?” You stroke his beard gently, taking your time. “I mean, sometimes it does, but I can’t see it happening for you. You’re old,” you laugh, making him laugh too.

“I’m old?”

“Ihm, you are. The daddification era looks good on you.”

Bucky’s mind is racing now. From your touch to your words... he feels weak.

“Thank you, love. But how do you know about Cherry?”

“Saw some photos on Instagram this afternoon. You looked gorgeous and all over each other,” you bite your lip, unable to stop touching him. Even if he doesn’t belong to you...

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t serious, love.” He brings his hand to your face too, caressing your cheeks, which only makes you giggle.

“Hmm?”

“We’ve been friends for ages and we just had some... fun for a little while, but it wasn’t a relationship.”

You puff. “That is a form of relationship too! And maybe she wants you now.”

“I doubt that. But even if she did, I don’t want her like that, okay?”

“But she’s so pretty and funny,” you add, surprised.

“Many women are. But I told you, there is nothing like that.” His tone is serious, but you can’t understand.

“But you had sex with her,” you point out, visibly upset. You hate that even though it’s silly.

“O-kay, you need to get some sleep.”

You move your hand down to stroke his chin. “I’m serious, you’re...” You find yourself glancing down to his lap for a brief moment. Although you can't see anything, you just know it’s big. “A whole package. Don’t waste yourself.”

“You think I want Cherry?”

You don’t understand the surprise in his voice. Why wouldn’t he want her? If he wanted her once...

“You’re so confusing,” you murmur, and your eyes fall on his bottom lip the moment he licks it. It’d be nice to feel how soft it is. His mouth seems so soft and wet, and you bet he knows how to use his tongue. Ah... “You wanted to have sex with her, but you wouldn’t want anything with her now?”

Bucky smiles widely, surprised by your interest in his past. He knows it’s silly, especially since you are with William for some reason and he’s pushing forty, for fuck’s sake, but he can’t help himself.

“It was only for a summer.”

“Is this what you do with everyone?” He gasps when he feels the tips of your fingers on his lips as you speak.

“W-why?”

“Don’t waste yourself, okay, pretty boy? They don’t deserve you.”

Bucky literally chokes, completely taken aback.

“What?” He gently grabs your chin. “Who doesn’t deserve me? Cherry?”

“All of them.” You yawn, trying to keep your eyes open. “You deserve a better family.”

You’re so sad for him. They’re lying to him, and he’s so lonely.

Bucky’s confused but also touched by your words. You probably noticed how tense his relationship is with his parents, and you paying attention to that gets him emotional.

“We all do. But right now, you need to rest.”

“Don’t go to her tonight, okay?”

“Jesus, princess.” He strokes your cheek gently, and you giggle for a second.

“I’m not a princess. But please don’t do it. I can’t hear it…”

“Hear what?”

In response, you clap your hands together three times, mimicking the sound of skin slapping. “Please.”

“You mean sex?”

“Duh! At least...” You shake your head, trying to fight tears. You don’t want to cry. “Not tonight. I don’t want to hear it.”

Bucky sighs. He’s already told you he isn’t going to, but you mean sex now, and he wants to make that aspect clear too.

“I am not going to be with Cherry in any way, okay, princess? You won’t hear a thing because there isn’t a thing going on, alright?”

You nod happily and giggle. “Yes, sir.” You move your hand to your forehead, imitating a military gesture.

“Wow, such a good girl,” he snorts. “I expect this attitude from you tomorrow too, love.”

You roll your eyes, still in a good mood. “I’m sleepy, go away.”

“After you made demands about my sex life?” Bucky laughs. “Should I make demands about yours?”

“Go away!”

“Oh wait, there’s no sex li-” You hit him with the nearest pillow you find before he can finish his sentence.

“Augh! So aggressive.” He leaves the room still giggling.

You wake up in the morning feeling well-rested, without any headache or stomach ache. You can’t believe how embarrassing you acted toward Bucky. Like who are you to ask him not to sleep with someone? You wonder how he hasn’t told you to fuck off already.

He’s so kind, and here you are, lying to him, just like the rest of the family. Just like William. You’re deceiving him…

Even if he was into you after all, you lying to him like this would ruin any potential relationship before it even begins.

You need to stay away from him.

Packing doesn’t take as long as you anticipated. William helps you get your bag in the car, and your family makes sure to remind you to be a good girl as if you are a naughty kid being left with a new nanny.

As much as you avoided Bucky until then, you can’t help but stare at him as Cherry hugs him. Indeed, there is nothing but friendliness all over his face, and you wonder if this is how it’d be if you fucked him —in another universe. You’d still be his friend? You cannot understand this. Not even a little.

Unfortunately, you don’t notice Rebecca looking at you until it’s too late. As she hugs you goodbye, her words make you freeze.

“Take care of yourself, and please don’t play with both of my brothers’ hearts.”

The shame floods your entire body, overwhelming you. You rush to the bathroom to splash water on your face, attempting to hide the tears staining your cheeks.

You fucked up really badly.

Tags:

@charmedbysarge @identity2212 @vicmc624 @cjand10 @mayusenpai666 @abitofblues

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #boyfriend's brother!bucky #boyfriend's brother!bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #bucky fanfiction #my stories #my fanfics #sebastian stan #fake dating

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mvrkieboo · 2 months ago

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Lord, just saw that ask on what if YN is bitter. And ykw? WHAT IF THEN THERES A LOT OF REGRETS LIKE COME ONNNNNN 😫 I really wanna good ending but damnnnnnnnn that scenario on YN being bitter? UGH LURVE THE ANGSTY 🥲🥲🥲❤️❤️❤️

pt. 2 of this ask right here

You've been missing your classes. For 6 days, exactly.

For the first three days, Prof. Suh nagged Xiaojun endlessly for an explanation for your absence, but at one point, all of your lecturers stopped bothering him about it. Xiaojun began to wonder if the lecturers could finally tell that he was simply not your friend anymore—until Prof. Suh suddenly held him back again today. As always, Yangyang and Aeri tagged along.

The lecturer pulled out a fruit basket, patting on it as he gave the three college students—for some reason—a sympathetic look, it even came across as apologetic too. Was the fruit basket an apology for something?

"Listen, I wanted to visit Y/N today, but some bullshit last minute meeting got scheduled—so can you guys pass this on to her for me? Tell her I'm sorry for the messages I sent too—I didn't know at the time. Thanks, guys."

The three looked among themselves, weirded out. Why would Prof. Suh buy you a fruit basket? When Aeri opened her mouth to ask for further explanation, that's when the professor's phone rang—and he took the call immediately.

When he saw that three students were still hanging around his desk stupidly, he pointed at the fruit basket then to the lecture hall's doors—telling them to get out.

Yangyang took the fruit basket and walked out the hall, wondering why the fuck would Prof. Suh bring a fruit basket for you?

There was a folded card stuck to the basket, and they were too curious to leave it alone. Flipping the note to read the contents, it was Prof. Suh's writing, but they realised that this fruit basket was on the behalf of all of the lecturers of the faculty.

May we see you again on brighter days, Y/N.

– On behalf of all the staff of NCU's Business & Management Faculty

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ever since celebrating Jaehyun signing on to SM Entertainment as a singer together, Mark's friend group and your—well, your old friend group hung out a lot at the place where they held the party, which was at Soyeon's café in Sinchon. Geonwoo's mom liked having them come over too, so they often had a fun time together at the café.

"What's with the fancy fruit basket?" Mark got to beat Haechan to it, since everybody was curious about the fruit basket Yangyang was carrying.

"Well, we're actually hoping that you would know, Mark—has Jaehyun mentioned anything about Y/N recently? Did something happen to her?" Xiaojun smiled hesitantly at Mark, and Yangyang places

Mark leaned away from the table, confused as to why Xiaojun would ask that, especially since your name would sometimes be a taboo topic to approach. Yangyang pointed at the card and Mark opened it to read it, now eyebrows all furrowed.

"May we see you again on brighter days? That sounds pretty serious." Haechan read the writing out loud from over Mark's shoulder.

"Listen, this fruit basket is gonna go bad if we don't immediately send it to her, and the staff's money would go to waste that way. How about this—you pass on Y/N's new address to me, I'll drop it off, and then this whole thing can be settled instantly." Yangyang spoke with a jaded tone, leaning back into his seat.

"I don't know her exact address, but I do know what apartment she moved into." Mark offered, and Yangyang nodded gladly.

"Oh, Mark, that would in fact be better. I could just drop it off at the front desk and tell the person to pass it on to her."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

In the end, Mark offered to accompany Yangyang for the drop off, mainly because everyone could see Yangyang was ticked off that he had to do this, and if he ran into you, Mark being there was to mediate the situation.

One look at the apartment complex and they realised how much of a downgrade it is from your old place. Granted, anything else could be considered a downgrade compared to the luxury condo you used to live in, but your current apartment looked almost run down and shady.

Mark couldn't help but still feel a little bit bitter and envious that you were willing to move into this kind of place if it meant you could live with Junyoung. Did you really love him this much to endure living in a place like this? Mark was a broke college student too, but even he wouldn't settle to live in an apartment like this.

But, in your defense, it only looked run down because the apartment was old, dated, and looked like maintenance is done once a year only. It still had a lobby with a front desk at least, manned by a relatively old dude who looked well into his 60's.

"Excuse me, but could you please pass this on to one of your tenants? We don't know her exact unit, but it might be under the name Jeong Y/N or Lee Junyoung." Mark talked amicably, not wanting to piss off anyone in this apartment.

The older man behind the desk moved to take out a thick binded file on the shelves behind him. It was a long 3 minutes until the man finally got to the page he needed. He raised his eyebrows, looked at Mark and Yangyang, then looked at the page again.

"Kid, the unit you mentioned was a crime scene. The cleaners just arrived to wash away the blood and the mess. The tenant—Lee Junyoung—is already dead. A week ago, he stabbed his girlfriend before killing himself—but I heard the girl survived and is currently recuperating at Taeho Memorial Hospital. It's better if you brought this basket there instead."

Mark and Yangyang went blank and dead silent at the information, felt like the whole world froze for a moment, both of their bodies frozen still—then they took off without thanking the old man, bringing along the fruit basket with them into Yangyang's McLaren. On the way to the apartment's parking lot to reach Yangyang's car, Mark was already dialing Jaehyun's number.

Jaehyun was in the studio, nodding along to a beat he was really liking when his phone rang, flashing Mark's picture on his screen. Mark knew he'd be busy, and Mark always liked to text instead of calling anyway. Suddenly feeling dread and a weird sense of urgency take over him, he quickly excused himself out of the studio to take the call.

"Jae, did you know?" Mark sounded like he had the wind knocked out of him, and Jaehyun frowned at the sudden question.

"Know what?"

"Stop fucking around! If you knew, why wouldn't tell me about it? I mean—you know I still care for her and that I'm still not over her yet, so why the fu—"

"Mark! Bro, calm down. What are you talking about? You're speaking in riddles, man—I don't understand what you're trying to say." Jaehyun walked to the windows, looking down on the city as he heard Mark take deep breaths before speaking again.

That was when Mark realised Jaehyun didn't know. He messed with his hair as Yangyang began to drive the car a lot faster than what he was comfortable with. Did the dude even know the directions to Taeho Memorial Hospital?

"It's Y/N, Jae. Junyoung's dead, he killed himself—but before that, he attacked Y/N and—and she got stabbed. She's currently recovering at Taeho Memorial Hospital. Fuck, this is why her lecturer wanted us to give her a goddamn fruit basket."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You wheeled yourself out of Dr. Kim Sejeong's office. She was a wonderful therapist, and you could tell there was progress in your mental health after you agreed to take up therapy to heal yourself—but it didn't change the fact you had felt pushed to do this the first time you entered her office.

You came to a halt when you saw two men rose from the waiting seats outside Dr. Kim's office. You felt your face going stiff, when you realized Kyungsoo and Taeyong had been waiting for you.

These were the two sneaky assholes who roped Junmyeon into their plan in convincing you to get therapy. You still remembered how hard you cried on Junmyeon's shoulder five days ago.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So you found his body." You spoke out, sounding soulless.

Junmyeon nodded beside his old partner, Kyungsoo. Taeyong was busy getting coffee at West Wing's café. A kid ran past in front of your wheelchair, giggling as it chased a butterfly with her mother just right behind her. The hospital's garden was spacious, but there were still some tricky pebbles she should look out for.

"Yep. Yoonsu hadn't been lying—Junyoung was found at the abandoned plant nursery. They were just about to renovate it when we came with a search warrant—ah, the school's director was so annoying, kept bitching about how he didn't want it to leak to the media. People like them are the reason why I decided to become a cop." Junmyeon sighed deeply, loosening his necktie at the memory.

Kyungsoo smirked at the older man, making a snide comment on how the commissioner shouldn't be so crass in front of a civilian. Junmyeon slapped him at the back of the head—it wasn't like he wanted the position, but it was thrusted upon him. Turning it down would anger a lot of people, and that included his own grandfather who had given a lot of gifts to the old commissioner for Junmyeon to be selected as his successor.

You stayed stone faced as the two bickered, and when they realised you were staying quiet, Jumyeon looked at you then shared a look with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo had told him over the phone you might possibly be suffering from a...kind of depression of some sorts after everything Yoonsu made you go through.

You needed someone to push you into the path of proper recovery.

Both men saw Taeyong walking out of the West Wing with a bag in hand, so Junmyeon nodded at Kyungsoo as he fished the inner pockets of his blazer, and Kyungsoo not so discreetly walked away, signalling Taeyong to turn on his heel too.

Junmyeon reached for your hand, forcing your closed fist to open and placed something on your palm. When you pulled your hand away, you saw it was Junyoung's nametag pin. You felt your heart skip a beat as you looked at it, buried memories unearthing themselves inside your mind.

"...you know, I couldn't stand Junyoung the first time I met him. He was more crass than me, arrogant, prideful—and most of all, he was so goddamn selfish. I hated that guy, if I have to be honest with you, Y/N." Junmyeon hunched over, placing his elbows on his knees.

He stared right ahead, watching an older brother carrying his younger brother on his back, probably boasting about how strong he was to be able to carry his little brother. Junmyeon let out a pained smile at the sight.

"But after he met you, that selfishness started to chip away. He was still arrogant and foul-mouthed—and if he was alive, I've no doubt he would still be that way—but he couldn't afford to be so selfish anymore when it came to you."

You felt your eyes water as you closed your fingers around the nametag, then you felt Junmyeon's hands cover yours, as if he was also trying to keep that nametag safe from the world like you were.

"Kyungsoo told me. About all the things you said Yoonsu said to you before he killed himself, how your own friend dismissed you when you asked to speak with your brother one last time—Y/N, you have to know that all those things he said to you will never be true, you're not selfish. You deserve to live a life beyond Yoonsu, Y/N. You deserve to live a life beyond Junyoung too. He didn't die because of you, he died because of Yoonsu's selfishness—not yours." Junmyeon spoke softly, watching you cry without making a sound.

"I know you resent your friends for leaving you, and I know you also feel like blaming yourself for it because you were the one that pushed them away first, but you can't keep wallowing in your pain all by yourself, Y/N. If they had hurt you so badly, they should apologise to you—but how could they realise what they did wrong and apologize if you're not letting them know?" Junmyeon started to wipe away your tears, even as you started to shake your head.

"But I can't seem to let it go. I don't know if I could forgive them even if they apologize to me. I don't think I'm strong enough to do it." You sobbed out, feeling so ashamed of yourself.

Junmyeon tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear before he placed a hand on the back of your head. This was the same head that his late step cousin loved so much, the same head that Junyoung sacrificed his selfishness for.

"Then get help. Get therapy, receive some counseling. Me and Kyungsoo are scared that if you continue to be like this, you might..." He trailed off, and he didn't have to finish it for you to understand what he was trying to say.

"Please? For Junyoung, at least? He loved you so much, kid. He deserves to see you live a life beyond all this pain, all this suffering...and you owe it to yourself too. Living in misery would just let Yoonsu win in the end. Don't let that asshole win, Y/N."

He saw how your shoulders slumped. You relented, and you started to nod. His hand on the back of your head stretched around your shoulders, letting you cry on his. Finally, Junmyeon felt like his debt with Junyoung was now paid tenfold. At last he got to find where Junyoung was after all these years, and the girl Junyoung loved so much was finally saved from Yoonsu's hold on her.

At last.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Detectives, if my memory serves me well, you belong to Gangnam's Police Force, not Seoul's." You grumbled, not having the strength to fight off Taeyong who was pushing your wheelchair for you.

"And that makes it illegal for us to visit you?" Kyungsoo scoffed from beside you, making you roll his eyes.

You began to tap your foot on the footpad. Kyungsoo caught it, and smirked when he realised he was annoying you. Great, he thought, it's payback for all the times you greatly annoyed him three years ago. It's even more fun when you can't find it in you to whip out snarky comebacks to use against him

"How was therapy? Can me and Taeyong finally go inform your family now? Or are you gonna stall our work for another week?" Kyungsoo side eyed you, and you whipped your head to look at him.

Taeyong cracked a smile, finding it both humorous and heartwarming to see you both bickering. You had been so despondent during the first days, it had him and Kyungsoo relieved to see you having a personality again, even if you were constantly grumpy every time they came and visited you.

"I told you already, Detective Do, I'll tell you when I'm ready. Stop trying to push me to—"

"Y/N?" The familiar voice had you silent in a heartbeat.

Kyungsoo and Taeyong stopped in their tracks, and you included since you were getting wheeled by Taeyong. All three of you stayed frozen at the doorway, seeing so many people in your private room that weren't your doctor and her usual entourage of medical students and nurses (Junmyeon pulled some strings to get you a private room once you were transferred out of the ICU ward. Sometimes you forget Junmyeon also came from a rich family like Yangyang and Chenle).

Inside your room were your remaining family members (Yuno, your father), your foster family (Geonwoo, Woojin, Soyeon), Mark, and your classmates (Xiao, Yangs, Aeri). They felt their breaths stop when they saw you sitting limply on your wheelchair, deep purple bruises all over your face.

You dug your nails into your lap and began to stand up from your wheelchair, alarming Kyungsoo and Taeyong who knew that you were supposed to change your stitches today. Everyone else in the room began to go after you too, seeing how the two men with you were panicking to see you walking by yourself.

You felt like Kyungsoo and Taeyong had betrayed you. You had immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was the detectives that called them over, even when they knew you weren't ready to face them again.

"Kid—" Kyungsoo yelled out, placing a hand on your shoulder when you were already out in the hallway, but you pulled your shoulder away from him so violently it had him going pale, worried that you might tear open your stitches.

And when Taeyong glanced down to the spot where you had been stabbed, he staggered when he saw blood seeping through the shirt the hospital had given you to wear.

"Y/N, stop!" Kyungsoo yelled out again, rushing over to stand in front of you.

The commotion caused everyone in the hallway to stop and witness the scene. Some nurses began to crowd you however, as some of them were already familiar with you and your injury, not wanting you to run and escape when your stitches were obviously ripping. Taeyong held your shoulders from behind while Kyungsoo closed in, forcing you into a bear hug to limit your movements.

You raised your arms and started to pound on his chest, tears streaming down your face at the pain of your stitches ripping open and at the betrayal you felt. The bear hug forced you to your knees, with Kyungsoo whispering something into your ears to calm you down.

"It wasn't us, kid. We didn't inform them. We don't know how they got here, okay? We wouldn't betray you like that. We didn't call them over, Y/N." He spoke softly, and quickly swept you up to carry you in his arms and into your room to lie you down on your bed.

As soon as he lied you down, your doctor came in with her team, immediately pushing everyone out of the room and closing the door in front of them.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Who are you people? How do you know my sister?" Yuno asked stiffly, obviously still frazzled from the commotion you caused earlier.

Taeyong and Kyungsoo stared at the people before them. Just right as Kyungsoo was about to tell them who they were, a voice down the hallway rang through, gathering everyone's attention.

"Detectives!" Dr. Kim, your therapist, appeared.

She staggered back a little when she saw national darling and viral sensation Jeong Jaehyun in front of her. Sejeong tilted her head at him then looked at the detectives for a proper explanation. She just heard that you made a commotion earlier and tore open your stitches.

"I'm sorry, but who are these people?" Sejeong asked sincerely, seeing that all of them were waiting in front of your door.

"Dr. Kim, meet Jeong Y/N's friends and family." Taeyong spoke tiredly, pinching at his temple.

Sejeong balked.

"No! Y/N wasn't ready to see them again, detectives, so how could you! Didn't you promise that you'd only reach them out and inform them once they're ready?" She nearly shrieked, now upset on your behalf.

Kyungsoo and Taeyong looked at your friends and family—well, former friends and family. Both detectives understood that they shouldn't let personal bias cloud their judgement on people (it's literally their job to be that way), but they couldn't help it when all they could see at the moment was Y/N's sole source of pain, now that Yoonsu's dead.

"That's the problem—we didn't inform them. We were wheeling Y/N back to her room so we could spend some time with her and see how she's doing, but when we got to her room, they were already there inside it. It's why she freaked out and tore open her stitches." Taeyong explained thoroughly, looking straight into Yuno's eyes.

"You didn't answer our question earlier, asshole—who the fuck are you, and how do you know Y/N?" Yangyang spoke out this time, stepping out of the group and coming face to face with both of the detectives.

"Okay, time out! Detectives, please take these people to the canteen downstairs to give them the rundown of it. You can't keep crowding the hallway like this, and it's also within Y/N's best interest that you don't overwhelm her once the doctor's done with fixing up her stitches." Sejeong did a karate chop in the air between your friends and family and the detectives.

"Why should we follow your orders?" Mark asked genuinely, and Sejeong sighed at him as she showed them her badges.

"I'm a psychologist working for this hospital, and I also happen to be Y/N's therapist. Please, I beg of you for the sake of my patient, go to the canteen with the detectives. I can't breach patient confidentiality, but these detectives are obligated by the law to explain to Y/N's family on what happened to her."

A/N : might post a pt. 3, but i also might not 🫨

#old bloodhounds ask

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