#what if right at the brink of having worked through a shit ton of trauma

[witherbythesword]

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[capricores]

MERCURY RX / tarot predictions

astrology predictions coming soon! these are meant to apply to your dominant signs, sun, moon & ascendant especially. 

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fixed signs (scorpio, taurus, leo, aquarius)

you guys are feeling ROUGH right now, aren’t you? when i did this reading i kept hearing "why me? will anything good ever happen for me? am i supposed to be sad/suffer forever?" (i don’t often hear things when i do readings but i felt this being yelled into my ear..in the most painfully exasperated voice i have ever heard). a lot of you are going through, or are about to go through, what is called a “tower��� moment. if you’re not familiar with tarot, the tower card represents an ending, usually. it can represent sudden chaos, a falling apart, and similar things in the life; internally or externally. but these tower moments tend to bring through new beginnings and important lessons, so please don’t take this with fear. know something better is coming.

you all feel like the entire world is against you in this moment. nothing seems to be going in your favor, you feel like you try so hard with minimal reward that there’s just no point anymore. i’m here to tell you there IS a point; you do have so much purpose in this life and you will do great things. i'm also seeing a lot of you are reliving family/childhood trauma, possibly trying to heal from it or it just won't leave your mind lately. some of you may even currently be having issues with your family & feel very defensive and trapped. isolated and/or disconnected from the people who are supposed to understand.

queen of wands & temperance energy is coming for you during this mercury rx too! you're being divinely guided; and encouraged to pursue creative projects. you're being pushed hard to heal during this rx period, it's really a strong time of reflection for you all. no more pushing people away or unhealthy periods of social isolation. i'm getting youthful energy, excitement, finding joy in the small things again after this tower moment. but it's so vital that you focus on caring for your inner child right now. i'm also being told you need to face your fears, your past, your pain; and heal. you must work through this. you cannot keep repressing your emotions and problems and thoughts and hoping they will just go away; they will not. they must be confronted; fears must be confronted. i specifically pulled “recovery”, “within the next few months” and “helpful people” from my angel answers oracle. 

also, i got a few cards and some energy surrounding manipulation. protect your energy this mercury retrograde and make sure you and your energy aren’t being taken for granted or pushed around.

key words for mercury rx, fixed signs: facing fears, significant change/tower moment, care for your inner child, healing & recovery, focus on creativity, work on healing [especially family/childhood-related traumas]; be wary of manipulation.

other oracle messages: “new moon in scorpio: work through your fears, waxing moon: the energy is gaining momentum, north node: step out of your comfort zone, you got the love: boundaries, codependency"

cardinal signs (aries, libra, capricorn, cancer)

your reading got a lot of mixed energy. the first thing that stood out to me, was much like fixed signs, a feeling of defeat. i think you may have, or are about to, go through something (likely something *small*, that feels very big) - possibly a rejection; that feels heavy. it’s left you feeling very upset and kind of “over” everything. i’m hearing right now a lot of you lack focus, energy, drive. you’re giving in to self-sabotaging behaviors, i think in multiple areas of life. the majority of you i believe are sabotaging friendships, relationships and possibly also your career/passions right now. i heard “hey, we gotta get our shit together and stop slacking”.

this reading was FULL of cups; which often represents emotional and relationship related things (in my experience). i’m hearing a lot about broken communication between loved ones, connections being damaged, ties being severed, etc. if you’re cutting connections for good, keep going! but please cardinals be careful of sabotaging your positive, healthy connections during these stressful times. i know you want to isolate and take everything on your own, but you’re being urged to reach out. connecting with others will bring you more comfort than you realize. you need to stop taking the weight of the world on your shoulders alone. there are people out there who want to help you carry these burdens, and opening up and being vulnerable with others is not a weakness, it is a strength. it is a strength that you must learn to master soon.

another big thing for cardinals right now to focus on is finding balance. the energy right now is rough, and it’s okay to take and need breaks. recharge as you need. but again, make sure you aren’t shutting everyone out and blocking your own opportunities for growth and change. you’re coming to the end of a cycle right now, from what i’m gathering. it’s been a tough cycle, but the next one will be easier if you carry forth these lessons you’ve learned.

i did also get some HARDCORE new love energy in this reading, cardinals! it was yelling at me. i think a few of you are about to connect with someone on a deeper level, it seems romantic but it could possibly be a new close friend coming in as well; regardless it will be someone who holds a lot of pure love for you. it seems to be a new person; not someone you already know (or someone who is relatively new in your life still/you aren’t close yet). you’re beginning new cycles in your relationships; for the better; “it’s up to you” and “in the near future” are the timing cards i pulled. i think this is yet another push for cardinals to get out of isolation mode and start reaching out again.

key words for mercury rx, cardinal signs: adjustments, emotional fulfillment, putting yourself out there, new love/connections, facing fears, reaching out, vulnerability, balance

other oracle messages: “new moon: a new start is coming!, third quarter moon: adjustments are required, new moon in scorpio: work through your fears, you’re not alone: isolation, physical connection, community”

mutable signs (gemini, sagittarius, virgo, pisces)

mutables, what happened! this reading was a rough one for you as well. i’m seeing a tower moment has caused a lot of you to go into serious self-reflection mode. you seem to be taking it so well, though. you’re using your resilience to turn these harsh moments as ways to learn, grow and become a better you. and i’m so proud of you for that! you’re not giving yourselves enough credit and praise for the things you’ve accomplished and been through. be careful this self-reflection period does not turn into pushing people away and absolute isolation, however. 

i’m also seeing some of you may have recently gone through a very intense heartbreak that’s left you absolutely crushed and defeated in terms of love. you just want to go into hermit mode and be by yourself for a while. that’s okay! take the time to yourself that you need; but again remember above about not going into full isolation for too long. i also want you all to be wary of impulsiveness, recklessness, as well as manipulation (but specifically, manipulation on your end). these words came up a few times in your reading.

i see a lot of you are in a period of immense indecision, it actually seems to be so serious a lot of you are crying over this decision? i’m not sure about what but i’m seeing it’s likely relating to your future (mainly school or career is what i’m getting). some of you might be feeling like your dreams and aspirations have been crushed, you feel very defeated. you have no idea who you are or what you want anymore. you’re starting to doubt yourself and anything you’ve planned for your future. you feel as if nothing in your life is right for you anymore and it’s causing you great amounts of stress. i’m getting the image of someone pacing around in their room anxiously, tons of tabs open about different programs/schools, job options, etc on their laptop while they do so. 

i know everything is hard and frustrating right now, but the energy i got for the future/as mercury rx closes was so bright and promising! i heard confidence, determination, personal growth, closing out a cycle. as you go through these difficult periods of self reflection, you’re going to emerge with this newfound leader energy; you’re going to be ready to take on whatever you end up deciding on, and you WILL be successful if you stay strong and keep pushing for what you desire. there is so much passion in your reading, you really are on the brink of a breakthrough in terms of what you want to pursue and what you truly desire. i think most of you already know; you’re just being held back by fear. angel oracle gave the messages of “trust” and opportunity”; trust yourself and have faith in your won decisions. you got this, mutables.

key words for mercury rx, mutable signs: indecision, self-reflection, planning, life purpose, strength, resilience, manipulation, confusion, impulse, significant change/tower moment

other oracle messages: “full moon in sagittarius: look at the bigger picture, full moon in capricorn: the end of a tough cycle approaches, cardinal moon: be bold and make the first move, you got the love: boundaries. codependency” 

if this resonated, please let me know! reblogs/likes, likes/retweets on twitter and tips are always so appreciated 🤍

[werewolfdays]

drabble - Shackled

based off of a prompt from the @whumptober2019 prompt list, Jayde talks to Nadya about the most traumatic part of her past-

My hand automatically placed itself on Nadya’s thigh when I sat back down on the couch by the fireplace. I noticed Nadya’s gaze linger on the subtle scar wrapping around my wrist from the silver shackles that were placed on me when I was captured. She would do that sometimes. Take a special interest in one of the scars that she knew I gained from my years in captivity. But she never mentioned it. Even when I felt her curiosity towards it, she usually kept quiet. 

“You never ask.” 

She blinked up at me in confusion, “Ask what?”

“You know what I mean.” I said gently.

A moment of silence passed. Nadya stared down at my scar again, reaching out to brush her thumb over it. “I didn’t think it was something I should bring up.” 

“But you want to know.” I responded in understanding.

The warmth of her brown eyes settled back on me. “Not bad enough to put you through the pain of remembering.” 

I grabbed her hand to play with her fingers, “You can always ask me whatever you want, you know that.” A small crooked smile flashed across my face, “Plus, I heard somewhere that talking about things can sometimes maybe help.”

Nadya smiled briefly too, but then she went into quiet thought for a minute. I watched her contemplate exactly what question she wanted to ask with a mixture of dread and anticipation. I rarely talk about being held captive, figuring my scars were enough of an explanation. Nadya made me feel safe though. She is the only person that I haven’t given boundaries to on the subject. I didn’t feel the need to. Even with that amount of freedom I gave to her, she hasn’t abused it, which just made me love her more. 

“What…” Nadya hesitated like she didn’t believe me, “What was it like?”

My eyes wandered around the Den. What little guests there were didn’t seem to care about us or what we were talking about. Toby didn’t even glance in our direction from the bar. Not like I expected anyone to be listening anyway, but I suddenly felt exposed. I took a moment to focus on Nadya’s hand holding mine to ground me. Since I had just told her she could ask, I felt obligated to follow through, but it suddenly made me feel trapped. Then I realized Nadya would never force me to talk about this. If I said the word, she would drop it. No questions asked. No judgement. That reassurance gave me the final push I needed to speak. 

“Well, at first it wasn’t so bad if I’m being honest. I mean, I did watch my dad get murdered and I was beaten and taken away from my mom and my home.” Recalling the events was met with some resistance. As soon as my mom and I were taken, I was resigned to our fate. The only light of hope I had was the knowledge that Skye was safe. “But they waited until I was fully recovered. They politely asked questions about my experience as a werewolf and took basic tests. I guess I was a rare find, being a purebred adolescent werewolf. It almost felt like I was getting a physical at the doctor’s. But I was pissed. I didn’t give them shit if I could help it. All I wanted was to see my mom.”

“You were sixteen?” Nadya asked.

“Mhm,” I nodded, “One of them- maybe a scientist, I’m not sure- sat me down and tried to convince me that their work was good. That they were trying to advance medicine and improve the world. She spoke to me like I was a child, telling me that we could work together and that I could be a hero.” I scoffed, wishing that I had bashed that woman’s face in, “Obviously, I didn’t buy into her shit. I think that meeting was my last chance to cooperate, because things changed after that. They put me in a solitary confinement cell and took me out a few times a week to perform tests.” 

I heard Nadya’s heart rate begin to pick up, dreading the details as much as I did. 

“It started off pretty tame. They would take tons of samples, blood, saliva, that sort of thing. Then they wanted to watch me turn. I must’ve held back a shift for months just to spite them. Ironically, that’s where I learned a lot of my control. Each full moon was horrible. It felt like my blood was going to boil and my skull was going to burst, but I still held it back. So they tried to force a turn.” Nadya’s breath hitched at my emphasis of force, “They tried everything from electric shocks to adrenaline shots. Pretty sure that almost killed me a couple times... I’m not sure what did it though, I just knew that one day it became too much, so I let them have their win.” 

I started to worry that I was painting too horrific of a picture, but Nadya didn’t object. Maybe she felt like she needed to hear it. A voice in the back of my head told me to stop. She doesn’t need to know this. It’s hurting her as much as it did you. It told me. The look of pained determination on her face silently urged me to continue. She can handle it. I thought back. 

“They tested the limits of my durability, sometimes pushing me to the brink of death to monitor my healing. Also trying out silver, wolfsbane, and anything else that was mentioned in folklore to see how that affected me and my shifting or healing.” I only realized after I broke out that those were mostly weapons tests against my kind, but I didn’t mention that, “Sometimes they would drag me out of my cell and put me under and I would wake up back in my bed however long later with no idea of what they did to me. Just a new scar somewhere.” 

Broken memories came back to me. Somewhat detached. Like all of this happened to someone else. The rage and fear that had rooted itself so deep within me during those years wanted to manifest, but it was like I couldn’t muster it. I just felt cold. 

“After a while, all the days just… blended together. I couldn’t tell you if it was day or night, there was just these goddamn fluorescent lights on twenty-four seven. And that wasn’t even the most maddening part, because they only asked questions in the beginning. The rest of the time I was there, barely anyone spoke to me. No matter how much I cursed them out- how much I begged. Though, they were feeling nice one day and decided to let me know that my mom didn’t survive the experiments.” 

My jaw clenched bitterly, finally feeling the primal rage that I knew was inside me all the time. Sometimes lying dormant, patiently waiting for the right time to be unleashed. And just like that... it faded away to the cold again. 

“They all became blank faces with blank stares. That just made it seem even less real. Like I was screaming at faceless people in a nightmare. I didn’t even know how long I was in there until I got out.” 

Three years. I still remember how shocked I was when I picked up my first newspaper. Three years had somehow felt like a lifetime. Or more accurately, an endless black pit where time didn’t exist. 

“That place, it’s…” I stammered, unsure of how to go about describing it, “I wasn’t alive. And I wasn’t dead either. I was something in between, floating in someplace in between.” 

A stillness settled between us when I was finished. My heart was beating slowly, but each thump felt like a kick to the chest. I finally turned to see tears falling freely down Nadya’s cheeks. That in turn made me notice my own. My hand came up in time to catch a tear in its descent, and I pulled it back to stare at the moisture on the tip of my finger in bewilderment. I felt mostly nothing while recounting my horrors, yet my body still reacted. It knew what we should be feeling, but my subconscious was kind enough to spare me. Until now, that is. When I looked to Nadya again, she seemed to notice my internal struggle.

“Let’s get out of here.” She said, wiping her tears off on her sleeve and standing up. 

I got up to follow her, her hand fitting perfectly in mine as she pulled me along. Just focus on her. Nadya led me towards the fire pits outside. My breath immediately turned to mist in the freezing night air. The cold was actually a much needed slap to the face. I took a few deep breaths, letting go of Nadya’s hand to lean on the icy railing overlooking the lake that was illuminated by moonlight. She stood beside me and her hand came to rest on my back, moving in soothing circles to settle my mind. 

“You were looking a little pale.” Nadya said, keeping up the pace of her light massage, “Thought some fresh air might help.” 

An iron grip on the railing turned my knuckles white, but with each breath, my vice loosened. “Is, uh, is that what you were hoping to hear?” I chuckled in a poor attempt at humor.

I regretted it when Nadya’s hand stopped. Thankfully it only lasted a second because her arm went lower to wrap around my waist and lean into me. “Well, I was hoping that it wasn’t as bad as I imagined. Foolish, I know.” Her gaze fell, but only so she could run an index finger along my strained knuckles, “Especially since it ended up being worse.”

“It was years ago.” I said like it made it any better. Like time negated all of the trauma when it clearly didn’t. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself it did. 

“You’re right,” Nadya shifted to take my hand in both of hers, purposefully tracing the scar she was studying earlier, “But I still see it every day. All over you. And I heard it in your voice even before you told me. You know what else I see?” the way Nadya cradled my hand against her chest put me in some sort of trance as I hung onto every word she spoke. “I see just how strong you are. Jay, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I’ve always seen that.” 

“You think way too highly of me.” I told her with a bashful smile.

“It’s the truth.” She insisted. Her own playful smile lit up her beautiful face, “I want to be as strong as you when I grow up.” 

The laugh I released was such a welcome sensation, pulling me away from the lingering darkness, “You already are.” My arms wrapped around Nadya’s body and she nuzzled her head into my neck. The tip of her nose was already freezing and caused my body to flinch slightly at the shock of feeling it against my skin. “You’re so cold.”

“And you’re so warm.” Nadya remarked, slipping her hands under my shirt, which weren’t as cold as her nose, but still made me tense up until they warmed. 

“You guys like freezing your asses off?” I heard Toby say and turned to see him coming towards us with two steaming cups of what smelled like tea in his hands. 

“At least once a week so a new one can grow in.” Nadya joked, accepting the cup he handed to her. 

Toby shook his head at her in amusement and handed me the other one that was spiked with whiskey. I smelled it from ten feet away. He must’ve sensed that I needed it and I took it gratefully, saying my thanks with a purposeful nod. 

“Alright, well I don’t need to grow a new ass, so see you guys later.” Toby quipped and went to go back inside. He hesitated by the door and called, “Try not to stay out too long.”

“We’ll be inside in a few minutes.” I reassured him. He nodded in relief, seemingly satisfied that whatever I was going through wasn’t bad enough to freeze myself to death, and went back to the Den.  

I took a long sip of my tea, savoring all the flavors of the various herbs mixing with the alcohol. Letting the hot liquid fill my insides with a warm embrace to relax me. Nadya rested her head on my shoulder while she held her cup in her grasp like a hand warmer. I took in her scent for a few minutes too. It reminded me of the very tea she was drinking, mixed autumn spices that paired perfectly with the cold weather. The kind of scent that made you want to curl up by a fire in your favorite blanket. 

“You know, you’ll never have to go back to that place.” She said calmly, “I won’t let anyone take you back there. I promise.” 

My smile warmed me as much as she did. “I believe you.” 

[gurenaii]

Title: Evanescent Summary: After moving to a small and mysterious town run by a biker gang, Uraraka runs into a very explosive member while exploring, and she can't help but ride along with him. Rated: T (will change up to M later) AO3 FF.NET

CHAPTER 1 WORDS: 4,620 THE RUMBLE OF A MOTORCYCLE

She was a number of things; heavy, broken, and guilty.

Her legs felt like they weighed ten tons, her heart even heavier. The ink on her wrist spelling out a birth date, and one over her right breast had pain embedded in it that reminded her of too many things. Her clothes were soaked, which added a couple more pounds, and her feet trudged towards headquarters - regretfully alone.

Broken, she was. Broken with thick layers of guilt and dead love and all the things that just made it all worse. It's her fault, her mind screamed. It's on you, you have to tell them the truth.

You have to explain to them why you have nobody with you.

The lights were on, cars and motorcycles were lined up outside. The rain that fell from heaven - tears from the fake belief, carefully hid any small detail.

Ochako knew they were inside, though.

Minutes passed, and she was outside the door. Minutes passed as she stood there, body shaking from fear, the cold, and trauma, as her mind raced to find something to say to them. Something to say that wouldn't be so harsh.

With a hand over her stomach, aching pain and anger flooded over, she knocked.

The door opened, revealing Aizawa. His face was sullen, eye bags darker than normal. Seeing her lit a hopeful light in his eyes, but returned back when he noticed she was alone.

He said nothing.

Even if he was silent, she felt the judgement piling over her being. Guilt, anger, regret.

He stepped aside.

She barely managed through, before collapsing, the last thing she hears besides alarmed voices of her soon-to-be ex-family, was the deep voice of a man with spiky blonde hair and red eyes.

“Angel.”

Tears gathered in her eyes before they shut completely.

“Remember to be aware.”

Musutafu was a mixture of light and darkness. The skies were gray and gloomy, but the sun still managed to shine it's way through the clouds’ thickness. It was in the middle of autumn, so it was chilly but colorful all at once. The setting was perfect, and Ochako didn't regret moving here at all.

A twenty-three year old with no income, that's what she was. She went to college, and graduated almost a year ago, studying writing, but also having a certificate of medical assisting from high school. She was very much put together, but also not at the same time.

Moving was difficult. She knew this from the many moves her parents had to make in her childhood, the construction company having to transport somewhere else in order to build. Both that, and her family were struggling. She couldn't get a part-time job until she was fifteen, so she spent her time studying hard towards a career that could pay well until then, but suddenly realizing a few months before graduation that it wasn't her true passion, and that she really didn't enjoy it. Her parents knew, of course, they just nodded when she confronted them, said they were aware, but chose to wait until she came to terms with it on her own.

Her passion was writing. There wasn't a wide supply range of good paying jobs around that she could get, so she chose to move to a smaller town, one towards the South. Her parents were only a few hours away by car, so it wasn't difficult. She needed to get out of their hair, so she looked for houses and found a good deal in Musutafu, and here she was.

She had a medical assisting certificate and a degree in writing. It was odd, but it was all she had. From aiming towards the medical field, to pursuing writing - maybe she could write a book that could gain publicity to live off of as well as giving to her parents.

It was an unrealistic dream, she knew. Ochako couldn't help but hope though. Writing a book, much less a good one, would take her years, and she didn't have that time.

She was all over the place.

Her car barely ran, her luggage was lighter than it should be, and she had one of those old and outdated smartphones. Her schedule was also a mess, weirdly though from her lack of having a job. She managed to pay the first month for her new home, so she had another entire month to gather money to pay the next. She'd have less time than that, though, because she actually had to find a job first. She only had so much money left, and she had to buy food with it as well.

To put it bluntly, Ochako was fucked.

Usually, her life was planned out well. She planned ahead of time, her schedule being well organized and put together.

Key word: usually.

The second she quit the medical field, she knew all the research and buildup she did to prepare herself for that particular career would be partly useless. That was negatively exciting for her to experience, being on the brink of entering a collage, and deciding to change her entire path last minute.

Her parents had told her they didn't want her life to just be dedicated to working for them. They wanted her to pursue her dream, her passion. So she left home to start anew. Despite her parents saying they wanted her to have more in life, that didn't mean she wouldn't still try to help them while doing something she loved.

At first, when buying the house, she thought the awesome deal she saw on it would lessen her issues. No, it did the opposite. She didn't consider the fact that she needed a job as soon as possible, that she had no friends or family here (the closest being her parents obviously, but they were hours away), and the second she drove through with her groaning vehicle into the town, that it was definitely more different and unique than what she was used to.

The first thing you notice is how old everything looks. There were old buildings around where she used to live, but she only noticed one or two looked newer, and that was probably because they were recently built.

The second thing being was how the streets and sidewalks were nearly deserted. It was almost like life was a rarity here. (This fact made her even more anxious about getting a job.)

And third, the people who were there, sat outside a supermarket with bikes around them, wearing leather jackets and ripped jeans. From afar they looked like ratty scoundrels who were apart of dangerous gangs, but as she drove by - getting their attention, probably because of her loud , loud , car, she noticed the softness and curiosity on their faces. Confusion appeared, with some excitement.

After some pondering, Ochako didn't have a clue if it was a good thing or not.

They radiated the type of energy that drew you in. There were three, all male. One man had red spiky hair with matching eyes. Another one was a bit shorter, sporting yellow hair with a black streak running down a bundle of strands, and the last had slightly longer hair that almost reached his shoulders, black hair. They all sat on motorcycles, arms crossed and smiles adorned their faces. They seemed happy enough.

As she drove farther away from them, she took another look at her map, and paper atop it. The address should be easy to find, the town was small enough to navigate around after a single drive around.

Her house was a one bedroom, one bathroom, house. It was one floor, and from what she'd seen online - it looked quite decent despite probably being centuries old. She'd obviously make some renovations, but first she needed to get her shit together.

Ochako's eyes lit up as her new home came into sight. It was placed in a small neighborhood, where houses were on both sides of a road. There were quite a few, and she noticed they looked equally as ancient as her own.

Something else that captivated this place (it wasn't just the price, she swears) was that it was centered in an area that was a good combination of rural and urban. It wasn't a city, but it wasn't farmland either. It was like the types of towns that was near a farm, except this one seemed like it had some city elements to it. The buildings were old, yes, but they also shared the vibe that despite it, it was packed and populated.

It had to be. Every house she passed on the way here looked like it was being lived in. Like life was present.

As she pulled into the driveway, she noticed the house was built on a lift, not just on the ground.

(Her old home with her parents didn't have a porch, so this was different.)

“This is it,” she mumbled. The squeaking of her car stopped just before she pulled the key out. Her brow furrowed in confusion, but left it at that. It's turned off by itself many times in the past, she shouldn't be surprised anymore.

Stepping out of her vehicle, Ochako immediately headed for the door, grabbing her keys on the way out. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm either. It was a little into autumn, so she had to cover up a bit, but this area seemed to be slightly colder than her old home.

As she inserts the key, a deep rumble echoes from afar. It was probably one of her neighbors, although since the sound was most likely emitting from a motorcycle, she wondered if everyone had one. She'd seen quite a few around, counting the small group of men standing outside the supermarket.

Ignoring the obnoxious sound, she proceeded into the house. It was exactly like what the pictures depicted, except all the furniture was gone, which was expected. Her parents got her an air mattress that she brought, so she wasn't worried about anything like that at the moment.

A sigh escaped her lips. “Okay…” she whispered to herself. “Okay. Plan. First, get groceries. Then, unpack. Okay...then I'll look around for jobs. Yeah.”

Luckily, she knew where the supermarket was. Not to mention, it was of walking distance. She could do this, but no way in hell was she lugging a bunch of grocery bags around.

“No, Ochako, you aren't lazy.” Stepping back outside, and making her way towards her car, Ochako opened the car and turned the car key.

It didn't do anything.

“You've got to be kidding me…” Over ten years this car has been thriving, why did it have to give out now?! Why not when she had enough money to get it repaired, or better yet, to get a new one?

“Why?” she mumbled, her head lowering to stare at the ground. That meant that she couldn't be lazy. She had to go and carry a ton of groceries back, because her stupid car decided to break down and die.

Her parents would freak if they found out.

Frowning, Ochako stepped out, and slammed the door shut. Stupid car. Stupid engine. Stupid job scarcity. Stupid everything.

She was beginning to think maybe moving here was a mistake. But she didn't, and wouldn't give up. She literally just got here, no way was she backing down, she had gotten this far.

(She didn't make much progress, actually, but let her believe so.)

So on she went. Her feet practically dragged against the ground, her back slumped over. She thinks if she were more pale, she could pass off as a sick person.

It was a good ten minutes until she reached the parking lot. The men she saw earlier were gone, there wasn't a single motorcycle in sight. She was kind of glad. As friendly as they looked, she couldn't trust complete strangers. Especially strangers who drove motorcycles, and wore leather jackets as if they were part of some gang.

After that, she wasn't so sure of what had happened so far. Her mind went on one track, (food!) and that was it. Not much else was considered, only the basket of frozen cuisine was worth her attention.

At least that was until she realized she had to walk with all of this for ten whole minutes back to her place, while it was getting later and later in the day by the minute. Remembering this at the cash register made her panic on the inside, but the cashier looked cheerful, and she didn't want to freak them out.

After paying, and finally figuring out a good method of carrying all the bags, she left. She was even more paranoid, the sky was dark, and everything was unnaturally quiet.

Lampposts were beginning to light up. Since she found out it was a mix between a city and the countryside, that meant less lights, and more stars she could see in the sky.

Although, now, she was preoccupied with her food, and the route back to her new home.

She didn't notice her other surroundings.

“‘Ey, lady! D'you have some money? Please?” A man's voice disturbed the silence. Jumping, and dropping the bags hanging on her wrists in the process, she turned around to see a lanky, scrawny, old man striding towards her. “Can I see yer purse, darlin’? I'm really low…”

Terror enveloped her as the man continued, but started to walk faster and faster. She dropped down to hurriedly pick up her bags, but her arms felt so tired and weak, she ended up having more fall. Cursing in panic, her voice shaking, she got out, “No! Go away!”

“You need to respect yer elders, girlie. Why can't you just lend me some coin, I'll leave you alone…”

(She couldn't let this man hurt her, or take the money she had left. She desperately needed it, she had no job, she knew nobody here...she couldn't ask her parents, they were also financially unstable...what was she supposed to do now?)

The man got closer. He extended a skinny hand, about to grab onto her. Closing her eyes, and shrinking away, her breath caught in her throat when she heard the man groan in pain, and a thumping sound proceeded afterwards.

Her eyes slowly opened, to see the man was laying on the ground, his arms out for protection. The shadow of another person was shown on the ground. “S-Sir...I-I…”

“Picking on people just trying to mind their business is fucking low of you, not to mention on a defenseless woman just trying to safely get home. Didn't we let you off with a warning last time, or did you fucking forget that?” Another man. His voice was laced with disgust and anger, her eyes were watering without noticing, following up to the person who had helped her.

Her eyes widened. He was very tall, much taller than her. He sported the same leather jacket she saw the other men from before wear. His hair was light, most likely blonde, and it was spiked up all over the place. His stature was lean, but his shoulders were broad, and she knew from the thickness of his arms, that he was probably very strong. His eyes were flamed with anger, matching his voice and attitude towards her potential attacker.

“I-I'm sorry, sir...I…” The man was in fear, he wouldn't even go to meet his eyes.

“You said that last time, I'm not fucking stupid. If you needed money, then get a fuckin’ job, there's plenty ‘round. Going ‘round terrorizing citizens because you're pathetic really grates on my nerves. If I, or any of my family, catches you doing this one more time, we're throwing you out. People like you disturb the peace we've been trying to keep 'round here for years. Fuck off.”

The man was speechless. He hurried to get up, and shakily turned to me, bowing repeatedly, before running off. “I-I'm sorry, Miss. I-I'll go, you w-won't ever have to s-see me again…”

The other man scoffed. “Fuckin’ pussy.” A scowl rested on his face, before turning to her. “You alright? 'S not the first time he did that. We tried letting him off easy ‘cause he's an elder, but this' just gotten ridiculous.”

Ochako was silent for a moment. “U-Um…” Her eyes darted to the ground. All she could think of right now was how much of a coward she was. She could have escaped, but she froze up and broke down, and because of this, someone else had to go spend their time to save her ass. “Sorry…”

The man stepped back, his footsteps loud, did she make him angry?

“Hah? The fuck are you sorry for? You didn't do shit. 'S not your fault some dumbass went after you while you were holding a bunch of shit,” he ranted, her eyes finally looking at him to see him cross his arms. “Anyway, I haven't seen you 'round before. You the chick who just moved in across the street, right?”

“I...just moved in, yes.” she answered. He was so casual with a complete stranger. He was acting like he was just asking her about the weather after he just scared off someone because they were going to attack her. Maybe it was just her who saw it weirdly.

“Ah, makes sense. Saw you earlier today before I left for patrol. That house's been empty for years, I was surprised when I heard someone would be moving in it. Thought it was bullshit at first.”

This piqued her interest. “Why think it was, um…bullcrap?” He cursed to much for his own good. He spouted at least almost twenty of them in the past few minutes, spanning from out loud to mumbling under his breath. It was a unique thing to hear, the people surrounding her before were very conservative and polite, rarely uttering any curse word.

It was an interesting change of pace.

He chuckled at her modesty. “It hasn't been lived in for as long as I can remember. It wasn't in amazing shape either, and was in a location in a small town that's not even run by an actual government. It's no surprise, we rarely get new people anyways.” he explained, uncrossing his arms.

“Not run by a government? So there's no mayor? Or…” she trailed off, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

The man straightened his posture. “No, no mayor. You didn't do research about where you were moving? That's fuckin’ stupid,” he scowled.

“It was a good deal, so I...and I just assumed it was a normal town! How was I supposed to know it'd be some special snowflake place?” Why was he judging her all of a sudden? She puffed her cheeks out, and stood up, and leaned over to pick up her bags. “I have to go, anyway…I don't want to keep you any longer.”

His attitude was really overwhelming. He barely spoke much to her, it hasn't even been five minutes, and he's already persecuting her right after he asked if she was fine after nearly getting attacked by some creepy old man at night.

“You're not really keeping me. My shift is almost over anyways, and I was just doin’ my job.” He mumbled, and walked towards her, grabbing a handful of bags from the ground. Ochako flinched at the loss of her space, and narrowed her eyes.

“You…” she started, but never finished.

“Why are you being so fuckin’ stubborn? You obviously can't carry these all on your own, you keep dropping them, your arms are about to give out.” He retorted before she had a chance to finish. Was he indirectly calling her weak? That not only did she have to be rescued like some damsel in distress for something that wasn't even a big deal, but he had to carry stuff for her, too?

(She knew she was taking it out of context, but her day's just been getting progressively worse and worse…her car broke down, so she had to walk back and forth, she got nearly attacked, and now some kind of patrol-officer guy was nagging her on her poor choices and calling her out for it. She was fed up, plus she's jobless and quite literally, dirt poor.)

“I can carry it by myself, okay?! I'm not useless or weak. It's not a big deal. Why do you care anyways? We just met, you don't even know my name and I don't know yours. Just go back to whatever work you were doing and leave me alone.” Tears gathered in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

The man was silent for a moment. His face was still scrunched up in a scowl, his eyes were intense, and she noticed in the silence that the lampposts nearby shined down on his face, more from where he moved  next to her. She picked out obvious things like his hair was indeed blonde, his eyes were a scorching red color, and his pale skin had some sort of ashy or sickening tone to it.

His voice interrupted her few seconds of ogling, and she hurriedly looked away, a light blush of embarrassment appearing on her complexion.

“I do care for you. You are now citizen of our town now. As someone of my position I have to do everything in my power to keep people here safe, that means I must care for them on a certain level,” he said, his voice giving off something unnatural; robotic, like he's repeated this sentence to himself and others multiple times. “So let me make sure a newbie gets home safely without being jumped again because too much is, quite literally, on her hands.”

Ochako sighed. Talk about her being stubborn, when he was bluntly refusing to not help.

“Fine,” she mumbles, pouting her lip. He grabbed most of her stuff and stood up, and she allowed him.

He stared at her for a second, before stating, “My house is across the street from yours, anyway. It didn't matter from the beginning.”

Sighing for the hundredth time, she gave in. She did in fact need help, her day had been pretty terrible so far. Plus, he was holding the majority of her stuff. Hopefully, bad luck wouldn't strike her to where he'd take what he had with him.

The more she thought about it though, it wouldn't work out. They're literally neighbors, she can guess which house he was in because he mentioned that he saw her earlier. The only time she felt human presence outside her house was from that loud engine noise that had likely emitted from a motorcycle.

Plus, he mentioned patrol shifts, so he was some kind of officer, who ranted about keeping peace. It wouldn't make sense, especially after he had helped her.

Maybe there was one person she could trust already, she hadn't been here long either.

As they walked, she spent time darting her eyes from the sidewalk to the man. He didn't say anything, he didn't make much noise at all really after she agreed to let him help.

(At this, Ochako realized that she still didn't know his name.)

She wanted to ask, especially when he lived right across from her. The silence, though, was oddly comforting. Disrupting it may make things more weird and awkward than they already were.

Their neighborhood was beginning to get closer and closer. It really wasn't a long walk, if that old man hadn't went after her, she'd be home safe and sound by now.

“What's your name?” she blurted, before stepping onto her driveway. He was silent for a second, but answered.

“Katsuki Bakugou,” he replied, and turned to look at her. His eyes held the same intensity as before, did he always have that look in his eyes? “What about you, cheeks?”

“Cheeks?” she repeated, mouth agape at the sudden nickname. He didn't evaluate. Ochako never realized they had completely stopped in their tracks right at her driveway.

There was quite a few long periods of silence between them. Was he always so quiet? Or was he doing that because he didn't know her?

“O-Oh! Um…” she stuttered, realizing he had been staring at her the whole time, awaiting an answer. “Ochako Uraraka, that's my name.”

“Oh,” he muttered, and continued his way down her driveway. “C'mon, cheeks . ‘S already late, you don't want to keep me, do you not?”

(She just told him her name, and he ignored it, and just continued calling her by some nickname? What was that even referencing to? Did she really have chubby cheeks? Or did he just forget her name already?)

“H-Hey! My name's Uraraka to you, thank you very much.” she retorted. She heard him chuckle under his breath. Was he doing it on purpose?

He was already up on her porch, waiting for her to come and unlock her...door? “Hey, you're not coming inside!” she shrieked.

“Do you want me to just drop everything here and let you go back and forth from inside to outside? Or do you want things to be easier? You're really fuckin’ stubborn, you know. 'S kinda frustrating.”

Oh. Her brain just failed, very majorly. “Uh, sorry! Sorry, um...and you're no better! You didn't have to follow me here. Like I said, I'm not weak or useless. I could've done this on my own.” She ranted, shoving her key in the lock, and twisting it. Pushing it open, she stomped inside, hearing him chuckle from behind. “Why are you laughing? Am I really that funny to you?”

He walked in, and set her stuff down in a corner. She had yet to bring her luggage in, she could do it tomorrow. All she wanted to do after this, was to sleep.

“No, no. You aren't funny. I just find it amusing on how mad you are, usually that's my role.”

Ochako rolled her eyes, and frowned. “You don't seem like the angry type.”

Bakugou lifted a brow. “You can't judge my character so fast, you just met me. Also, I should head out.” All she knew from him so far was that he had a wide range of bad language drifting in his mind, and ready to spill out of his mouth. He came off as passive to her mostly, but he was right. They just met, she has no clue what his mannerisms were, or how he acted on a daily basis.

At least he was leaving now. As grateful as she was for his help, again, all she wanted right now was for complete silence and some sleep. Maybe all her pent up anger and frustration lately would vanish over a nice, comfy nap.

“Before I go, you at least owe me a 'thank you’, right, cheeks?” There was the nickname again.

“Uraraka. And thank you, truly, for today. I just want to pass out now, if you don't mind.”

He nodded, and turned around to walk out. Walking towards him to see him off, and to lock the door, she saw him stop in his footsteps. His head turned, a hint of a smirk lingered on his face, Ochako's body stilled.

“See you 'round, pink cheeks.”

She didn't have anymore energy to correct him.

He left her porch, then her driveway. She leaned against the door frame, watching him confidently stride across the street to a house that was almost, almost, identical to hers from the outside. She finally decided to shut her door, but a thought popped in her mind, making her sigh in exhaustion.

(My air mattress is still in the car.)

[gch1995]

Captain Swan was like the cheap rip-off of Rumbelle. So how did they make their cheap, gross, and shallow pretty boy rip-off of Rumbelle look better than the far superior, deeply beautiful, and complex original couple? Systematically destroying every element of both halves of the deeply beautiful, emotionally complex, and unique original Rumbelle and kill off Neal to vilify Rumple to make their cheap, shallow, and gross rip-off look better by comparison, which they failed to do, anyway…It’s a sure fire way to win tons of viewers, and not piss off a huge portion of your original GA! It’s not like most of them weren’t majorly emotionally invested in Rumple’s story with Belle and Neal…*I’m being sarcastic, btw, in case that wasn’t already obvious...*

Ffs…I really came to hate this show, I’m glad I quit watching after S5 because I read spoilers that it only got worse for Rumbelle with the OOC toxic clusterfuck of the utter systematic character destruction of both Rumple and Belle as individual characters and a couple, which they used the Rumbaby to create for “fun” for A&E and these writers to make CS look better after they made them a romanticized abusive relationship in 5A, and lost half their audience by making Hook the Gary Stu of the show who everyone else got screwed over for at the last minute.

I was worried they would screw over Rumbelle in a way that finally went too far for people to just realistically reconcile after what they did to CS in 5A, and it looks like I was right from the spoilers I read for 6A…Because it’s not like A&E and these writers weren’t already systematically destroying both halves of Rumbelle enough as it already was to prop up Hook/CS when they killed off Neal. It’s not like it wasn’t already bad enough when they started all the Rumbelle drama with the fake dagger proposal, the magic hat, the lies, and the banishment that never was apologized for because it was framed as “girl power” for Belle to “put the beast in his place.” It’s not like it wasn’t already bad enough with Belle’s bizarre OOC newcharacterization of being back-and-forth with Rumple, being cowardly, hypocritical, stupid, unnecessarily cruel, controlling, insensitive, and lacking in empathy with Rumple, refusing to let him get a word in edgewise, even when he tried to reach out to her gently and honestly for her understanding and compassion, and even when he did nothing wrong, while she let Hook, Regina, and Zelena get away with using her to hurt Rumple and trusted and forgave all of them for hurting her and her true love because the narrative “needed” to vilify Rumple. It’s not like it wasn’t already bad enough when Rumple took back the curse because he claimed that “It’s the man that he was,” and “I like the darkness.”

This shit in 6A, though. This shit was just too fucking stupid and OOC to believe.

The unborn Rumbaby being a full grown adult God of Dreams with a fully formed personality and opinions in Belle’s subconscious, who she actually believes immediately without question for no damn reason when he tells her that “Rumple will destroy the family?”

BULLSHIT!

Belle talking about how she’d rather stay in a sleeping curse with her unborn child to avoid Rumple forever based off of what a dream said for no fucking reason, even before Rumple starts screwing up?

BULLSHIT!!

Belle staying on Hook’s ship, and talking to him and Snow about how she spent too long trying to make things work with Rumple, even before Rumple starts doing anything wrong in the arc, even though the writers have conveniently ignored the fact that Belle has an apartment above the library that Rumple gave her, even though she’s perfectly a-ok forgiving and trusting the man who tried to kill her four times to piss off Rumple, even though Hook’s “apology” for attempting to murder her has come too late in the series and he openly admits to letting her stay on his ship is something that he openly admits to doing to piss off Rumple when the worst that Rumple has done to her at this point in the series was keep her in the dark about his shady schemes in S4?

BULLSHIT!!!

Rumple having a Dark One 2.0 2007 Britney Spears style mental breakdown mid-life crisis when he cuts his hair because he doesn’t like the man he sees in the mirror, so he starts acting like a controlling, and potentially dangerous blindly insane dick to Bellle of nowhere?

BULLSHIT!!!!

Like, I could understand it if this bizzarely problematic shift in Rumple’s attitude had an organic lead up without all the stupid magical plot contrivances and twists that come out of the blue, and the breaking of preestablished rules used to force him to that extreme. I could understand it if Belle didn’t “have” to be made uncharacteristically, unnecessarily, and overdramatically cruel, cowardly, stupid, and hypocritical to push him over the edge. I could understand if these writers understood realistic human psychology, trauma, mental illnesses, consistent characterization, and they didn’t destroy or sideline other characters/ships to prop up their faves.

But on this show where I had barely survived through the pain that was S4 and S5 of Rumple’s being framed as an OOC one note stereotypical villain badly enough as it already was to prop up Hook/CS, Regina, and Zelena onto pedestals that they didn’t deserve by ignoring all of the trauma, loss, and grief he had endured, and the near erasure of his fantastic character development and selfless sacrifice from S1-3A? I didn’t want to see them try to portray Rumple’s self-destructive addict tendencies a third time around because he was a “difficult man to love” because A&E and these writers did not want, and/or did not know how to portray mental illness and trauma in Rumple’s character consistently, organically, sympathetically, and realistically.

They usually just ignored all that complexity in his character to frame him as a one note villain to the other characters and the audience, and refused to let them be sympathetic or understanding of him until he had finally come to the brink when it was finally convenient for Belle to actually hear him out, listen, understand why after she had refused to do so for most of the arc to push him over the edge, and he responded with some variation of “Who could ever love me,” which was always tragic with Bobby’s acting. But it was getting repetitive now because Belle should have understood this fact about Rumple after 4A in 6A, Rumple should have known that trying to fix things with magic without Belle’s consent would only make things worse in 6A after 4A, and both of them should have been smart enough to sit back and think about how ridiculous this shit with the dream zygote was. So I did not want to see a third round of character assassination one more time around at all an all time low where both he and Belle were being pitted against each other at incredibly OOC, illogical, and gross low point as enemies in this stupid magical custody battle clusterfuck over an unborn baby who somehow had the power to be the God of Dreams, orchestrate his own kidnapping, and dupe both of his intelligent parents after getting duped by the Black Fairy before he was even fucking born, especially when I knew I had seen a variation of this same plot done before in 4A. While that didn’t make total sense either, it didn’t feel so incredibly cheap, contrived, painful, unbelievable, and stupid as this shit in 6A did with all of the trauma that Rumple had been through in the context in 3B, even if it wasn’t that well written, or sympathetic in the narrative from his POV, either

Golden Queen “romance?”

BULLSHIT!!!!!

I mean, the retcons in the flashbacks were incredibly OOC for both Rumple and Regina. In the present day storyline context, it was wildly OOC for the EQ to sexually assault Rumple twice, and have a crush on him that she never seemed to before. As for Rumple giving into her advances, playing along with her, and using her to kill Zelena for him after those two kisses that she forced on him in the present day storyline? I mean, he flinched back from those two kisses, and we know he was sexually abused by Zelena for a whole year, so I could buy that he would emotionally manipulate the EQ to kill Zelena for him with his sexuality because he wanted the shears, and because he didn’t want to be seen as weak through their whole deal, so he used the darkness to cover up his vulnerabilities. I could see if it really “meant nothing,” and he had absolutely no intention of honoring his end of that indirectly implied deal he made with EQ to bang her in return for killing Zelena for him that he offered, he had absolutely no genuine romantic or sexual interest or intentions with her either way, and this was all just a horribly self-destructive, gross, and unethical way to survive his PTSD for as long he “needed” to do it in their deal. And that’s definitely my headcanon.

Unfortunately, A&E and these writers tried to do everything in their power to demonize Rumple throughout that whole thing with the EQ by shrouding his POV. Rumple’s PTSD being triggered by the EQ and Zelena isn’t an excuse for playing her, of course, but the writers literally forgot about the fact that she sexually assaulted him twice first, and then deliberately cut that scene where he ran into Zelena at Granny’s right before that scene in 6x07 where she walked in on them making out, which would have implied that Rumple had been planning on doing this whole time since the end of 6x04 when she forced that kiss on him, and was very likely expecting her to walk in on him and the EQ when they were making out in 6x07. But Bobby looked highly uncomfortable and dead inside when he was making out with Lana in those scenes, he fought Eddy against the whole GQ storyline, and he knows Rumple’s character better than A&E and their team of hacks do, so I took his interpretation in his acting as Rumple in those scenes to heart way more than whatever the fuck A&E and these writers were trying to imply in their piss poor excuse for writing on a dying show that should have ended three-and-a-half seasons before it ever had the chance to make it to this tragically pitiful and nearly laughable hollowed out shell of the fantastic show with well-written complex characters that it used to be once upon a time (pun intended).

Like I said, I hate this show, or at least the show that it became after “Going Home,” and Nealfire’s death…

I also don’t respect A&E and these writers anymore for how abruptly, cruelly, and deliberately they mistreated Rumple, Belle, Rumbelle, Neal, Emma, and Henry’s characters, stories, relationships, and fans in the writing after “Going Home,” so that Eddy Kitsis and these writers could have their love affair with Hook/CS and Zelena!

I still ship Rumbelle from S1-S3, and I still ship them in fanon where the writing for them, whether it be angsty, romantic, tragic, or bittersweet, is always sympathetically in-character, consistent, emotionally complex, organic, realistic, healthy, well-written, and well-earned.

But I’m glad I quit watching this show after S5 because it became clear that they were systematically destroying both halves of Rumbelle out of spite to prop up Hook/CS, and I didn’t need to see that shit anymore. It wasn’t good for my mental health, and I’m honestly regretting that I ever even read the recaps and spoilers for 6A on tumblr.

As far as I’m concerned, the real show ended with “Going Home” because that was the last time I fully recognized my favorite characters/otp, the last time I was mostly satisfied with everyone from season one’s character development, and the last time that any of the writing on this show made any sort of consistent, meaningful, and realistic sense before becoming a cheesy, stupid, and toxic romantic magical soap opera Drama™️ fanfic rewrite centered around Hook/CS as the lead character/couple with no continuity, no depth, no organic original growth, and no character or storytelling integrity.

Belle being needlessly cruel by telling Rumple that he is “worse than evil,” and “being too weak to be good” for being afraid to fail their son as a father when she knows Neal died not that long ago?

BULLSHIT!!!!!! She had every right to be angry at him for not telling her right away about plotting to use the shears on their son without her consent, and for handing off dark magical macguffins to the EQ, but twisting his words, and using his fears against him by being mean? That’s not Belle.

Belle attempting to kidnap the unborn baby with Zelena’s help, and gloating over to Rumple angrily about how she and his abuser and the murderer of his first son were “alike,” while mocking him about how she was almost “free” when he caught her, and stopped her in 6x08?

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

And yes, it would have been attempted kidnapping in this instance in real life that she would have been arrested for in this episode because the only evidence she had that Rumple was a serious “danger” to their unborn child with the shears at this point, and that he was having an “affair” with the EQ was all hearsay from Zelena. Zelena was not a reliable source to Rumple’s motives with the shears, or Rumple’s true intentions with the EQ. She didn’t actually know whether Rumple actually was planning to bang her or not, and I really don’t think he ever was because he told Belle that it meant nothing, anyway, and swatted away the EQ like a fly as soon as she broke their deal by hurting Belle, and didn’t kill Zelena for him.

Rumple threatening to speed up Belle’s pregnancy recklessly in a dissociative panic when she already had that fucking cuff on her wrist, and wasn’t going anywhere because he was so obsessed with these stupid shears?

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know a lot of people who watched said that it was strongly implied that Rumple was, even subconsciously, trying to deescalate himself by warning Belle to come back to him before doing it ahead of time, and showing her the aging dust in that little bottle in his hand when he terrorized her in the library with the threat to do it before calling him out, and talking him down. I do believe that the writer of this episode was trying to imply to the audience that Rumple was looking for a “no” from Belle, even subconsciously, because he didn’t know how else to descalate himself, and I do believe that. However, it still was a wildly OOC nearly unforgivable extreme that they forced him to, so they could bring this story to the unnecessary brink of past the point of no return for Rumple and Belle ever reconciling again for absolutely no reason, other than to give Belle a reason to genuinely be afraid and distrustful enough of him to give up their baby to the Black Fairy (in disguise as Blue) to give him his “best chance.”

It’s just like how Belle didn’t actually “need” to attempt to kidnap their unborn child in the episode before this, or how Belle didn’t “need” to banish Rumple across the town line with nothing. It’s just like how it didn’t make any sense for Rumple to try to give Belle the dagger at all, considering how terrified he was of being controlled again. I could see if his heart had started blackening before he left for New York, and the dagger was his veiled plea for her to help him fight the darkness because he couldn’t tell her the truth with his heart being consumed by the curse, but they never made that explicitly clear in the narrative and they ruined most credibility in that when they had him take the curse back because “it was the man that he was.” It’s just like how Belle’s back-and-forthedness with Rumple in S5 made no sense. It’s just like how Belle agreeing to take Rumple’s car and go see the world in a middle of a crisis in town after proclaiming “A hero never runs away” two episodes a day earlier in the timeline before, just because she was having relationship doubts. These writers forced their characters into OOC directions and extremes that weren’t actually necessary, just so they could fulfill their (oftentimes character assassinating and disappointing) plot twists, especially with Rumple and Belle post 3A, and I was finally fed up with it by 6A, even though I didn’t watch any of that clusterfuck.

The Rumbaby being the villain of the week under the hood after being duped by the Black Fairy to dupe his parents to turn against each other, so that he could orchestrate his kidnapping from them at birth before he was even fucking born because Rumple using the shears on him would have prevented this shit from happening?

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adam and Eddy claiming that all this systematic character destruction of every element in Rumple and Belle’s individual characters and relationship together was “fun” and “hopeful,” and that they had been planning this storyline with the Black Fairy for a long time now, even though we all knew by now that they had no sense of self-awareness or ability to learn from their bad writing choices, every Dearie/Rumbelle fanfic writer was writing stories for the characters and relationship that they created a billion times better than they ever could imagine for free on ao3 and ff.net than the vile garbage these piss poor excuses for professional writers and show-runners were still getting paid to spew after they ran out of ideas on their after 3A and shit on Rumbelle deliberately to prop up their faves, and most people planned ahead more thoughtfully for their graduation speeches, what to wear on a date, and school projects than these hacks spent on their now dead trash show?

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! At this point, I was just laughing bitterly at them still taking themselves as such “genius” storytellers. I wasn’t even blaming the characters for being this wildly OOC and badly written anymore because it wasn’t really even worth it anymore when A&E and these writers fucked them up for their stupid sensationalist plots, CS pandering, and inability to stick to any sort of consistent realistic characterization, development, timeline, rules, or storytelling integrity, let alone even trying to tell any story with any sort of deeper purpose or meaning at all at this point, anyway. This show was just a cash grab for them at this point for Disney product placement, and Hook/CS.

[landofsomethingsomething]

your askbox seems crowded with johnroxycallie asks today. welllll sorry im going to add another one to the pile! i am intrigued! i used to ship johnroxy because it seemed real & cute but i moved to roxycallie when it was canon. but this is interesting?? sooo im interested but not sold. give me your best sales pitch for this new ot3 and adopt me into that good good 4 person fold?

Okay here’s why I like it.

To start you have to understand my salty relationship with Roxy’s bisexuality. I basically wrote my own god damn narrative for it in my own head because I am just so over homestuck’s completely unwillingness to give women arcs relating to their sexuality. Womens’ queerness is always something treated by the narrative as obvious and unworthy of commentary or exploration or any element of revelation/self-discovery or even an iota of reflection or struggle, which is especially FRUSTRATING when they’ve been shown struggling with the queerness of OTHERS. It’s that last part that gets me w Roxy -- I especially hate this with Roxy specifically because her relationship with Dirk was so very fucking fraught with her being bitter at him for being gay and thus unwilling to be with her. Roxy was aggressive about her attraction to Jake and Dirk and I would have really liked to see SOMETHING about like. The narrative there after she meets Callie, especially when Callie expressly tells Roxy that her species can’t experience human romance and blah blah blah blah there are so many things I would have loved to know more about re Roxy and her sexuality but this post is already going to be long so enough said about how mad I am about this specifically

The way I’ve settled on it for my own peace of mind is that Roxy went after Dirk and Jake most aggressively because she had the “save the human species” thing held up as the banner of like, the most important thing she could do to the exclusion of most else. Couple that with her being upset at Dirk for being gay and you get a workable explanation for her suppressing her own bisexuality and being so exuberantly performatively straight. 

So. Callie is the only person outside the other alpha kids that Roxy has had this lifelong close relationship/bond with. They have a conversation where they basically gal pal each other aggressively, with Callie saying her species can’t do redrom/human romance and Roxy being cagey about whether she’d reciprocate because Callie is basically telling her there’s no point to the thought exercise and who likes rejection?? but Roxy is the one who brings it up and is clearly fishing to see if Callie likes her likes her and blah blah blah people have been shipping RoxyCallie long before credits video because of all this, the ring, etc. The closeness of their relationship and the mutual “if only this could work it could be so good” narrative there like all right. 

Then, John. There’s an element to Roxy’s attraction to John that’s rooted in that instinctive thing she has going on that you can see on display in their first meeting, where she sees A Dude and immediately does her mental calculus to determine hey here is A Dude, he’s kind of cute, he’s maybe not gay and/or off-limits b/c my best friend has a huge messy crush on him. And it would be real easy to weigh the scales here and go full RoxyCallie if that were the sum and parts of their relationship, but like, here’s the thing -- it’s not. 

I just cannot let go of John and Roxy as the sole survivors of the Game Over timeline. Roxy is Callie’s beacon of optimistic hope, Roxy is the one who acts to save Callie and preserve her in the alpha timeline (with John’s help -- John gives Roxy the ring after all. I like that detail in the full scope of them being a Unit in the future.) But JOHN plays that role for Roxy. Roxy watches Rose die and is ready to sit down and throw in the towel. She tells John straight up that her only plan going forward after this is to accept her fate and bury her mom and wait for her miserable doomed timeline to end and take her with it. John is the one who convinces her there might be a better way, there might be hope. JOHN is the one who acts to preserve Roxy’s existence in the alpha timeline. I really love the parallel between Roxy bringing Callie back from the brink of oblivion and John bringing Roxy back from the same via the same mechanism that allows John to get the ring that allows Roxy to bring Callie back in the first place. That is a really tidy loop and I like it a lot.

So, Roxy in Earth C with a boy she likes and has a connection with that literally no one else can understand because no one else went through Game Over, no one else has this dissonant experiences that might not mesh 100% with the people they love, no one else has this potential imposter syndrome. I love the idea of Roxy and John bonding over that and have never really been willing to give it up. I love the idea of Roxy coming to understand that her infatuation with the idea of A Boy, Any Boy and the future she wanted so bad were products of trauma and really examining that and then realizing she fell for John legitimately, that she genuinely finds him charming

Simultaneously, Roxy in Earth C with the alien girl she’s had a crush on for like probably forever, and now she’s free of the burden she always assumed she had to repopulate the human race. Also her entire family is queer and she’s free to explore her own feelings with that context. Maybe to accept that her feelings for Jane were never purely platonic (and her feelings for Callie certainly never were) and half her frustration at Dirk was that he insisted on being “true” to himself while Roxy never felt she could be and imposed straightness on herself out of obligation to the human race. That could make a girl bitter, right? (I have so many god damn feelings about Roxy and Dirk reconciling post-canon)

And here’s Callie with her insistence that cherubs can’t experience redrom, too. Except now she’s living on Earth C with, for example, Karkat, a troll who absolutely experiences romantic feelings the same way humans do despite all his species lore stating Trolls Can’t Feel Like That. And now Callie has eternity to explore HER feelings -- and we know part of why Callie just accepted that she couldn’t experience flushed/human romance is because she didn’t think anyone would ever love her like that anyway, right? She thought she was hideous and unloveable. Well now she’s here on Earth C and there’s no way Roxy is going to go on letting her believe that. And without that holding her back from exploring the way she REALLY feels, you can see a path to Callie allowing herself to experience emotions she never thought she could. 

And all of these are positive things and wonderful things for these people to learn about themselves and about each other. 

Roxy caught between the boy she fell for on her journey and the girl she fell for long before her journey even started, just having this realization like, everyone is doing what they want here, this is our universe and our earth and our society and our rules, and she’s kind of unofficially dating them both for awhile but not committing labels-wise to either until eventually she’s just like fuck it??? Here’s how I feel, now how about you??? And I cannot imagine Callie protesting Roxy loving them both or someone else loving Roxy as much as she does, and John’s relationship with romance throughout Homestuck is so bemused and ???? and exploratory, I imagine he’s like well this is kinda weird is this like a troll thing and Roxy is like no this is just an us thing and they deal with it

John and Callie have already been spending tons of time with each other throughout and again, as I referenced in an earlier post, there’s some initial awkwardness that settles out into a balanced arrangement and Callie and John both love Roxy and care about each other very much.

Also like, until there actually is some kind of epilogue that does more with John’s current depression arc and ties in the Masterpiece with everything, I like this alternate reality where John has someone who understands him in a way really no one else can there for him when his shit starts to go south, I like the idea of there being an entire long ass subplot where John tries to isolate himself and Roxy is instrumental in not allowing that to happen, I like Callie’s cheer in the face of her own blisteringly unforgiving history and reality being an inspiration for John, I like a lot of things that canon as it stands doesn’t have a satisfying character-driven arc for at the moment.

And, you know, to cap all this off, I really just like JohnRoxyCallie as an acknowledgement that bisexual woman are not “less” for liking boys, that bisexual woman don’t “count” unless they are exclusively with women, and that bisexual people in real life who ship bisexual characters with people of opposite/other genders are not somehow betraying the queer community by doing so, while simultaneously not sacrificing a potential f/f romance for a m/f one.

The LGBT community’s relationship with bisexual women is MY pet issue, because obviously I’m a bi woman, and there’s obviously an element of that going on as well. It bothers me with the treatment of a lot of fandom/homestuck’s bisexual women (this frenzy by queer fandom to erase every relationship a bisexual woman ever had with a man as being not real or not valid for x, y, z reasons while Straight Fandom is over there doing the same thing, but opposite) but Roxy is by far the Homestuck Canon Bisexual Woman I personally care about the most so SHRUG that’s why you get a million words of my feelings

Anyway that’s why I like them