#what if i'm meant to heal and not want to die so i can go and actually survive fighting for my life in real life life-or-death

[postcardsfromheapside]

I need to be salty for a hot second about people who are upset about aspects of Lucanis' romance.

I'll put everything else under the break for spoilers, but in general, I am so disappointed in a large portion of this fanbase who apparently thought "disaster" meant "romantasy," but also it's in keeping with how a lot of people seem unable to put things in context.

One of the complaints I keep seeing run past is that the scene where you commit to a relationship with Lucanis seems pefunctory, or out of the blue, there's nothing really romantic about it, it's too similar to the platonic route, etc, etc, ETC.

I romanced Emmrich, but I've seen other people's versions of romancing Lucanis. I'm just going to kind of word vomit here, and hope I can come up with something cohesive.

As someone who id's with Lucanis for "generational abuse" and "dumpster fire disaster bi" and "using socially acceptable drugs as coping mechanisms in place of addressing your problems" reasons, it's been really fucking annoying watching the almost deliberate misinterpretation of his character even after Mary Kirby dropped several explanations on social media. It's like a large part of the fanbase saw all that and turned into the "yes yes, very sad...anyway!" meme and went right on fetishizing him...then got mad when he didn't turn into the seductive Dom with wings they were hoping for.

You commit to Lucanis after (what I consider) a very intense scene inside his "mind prison." He's struggling so much internally that Spite wrests control of his body from him in front of witnesses and begs Rook to help them. Lucanis would never ask Rook to do so on his own, he's terrible at asking for the help he truly needs. Spite drags Rook into the Fade Ossuary and demands they free Lucanis from his self-imposed prison. And whether you're a friend or would-be lover, Rook slowly talks Lucanis out of a host of self doubts regarding his family and friends. Can he trust himself not to hurt other people, now that he's saddled with this affliction? Has he disappointed the people he cares about most? Do these new people he's coming to care about actually trust and care about him? The rooms are filled with fragmented thoughts that peter out into regrets. You're literally seeing Lucanis' fractured and complicated emotions.

One of them tore a hole straight through me: "You'd have to kill me...And Spite would die."

You'd have to kill him to get rid of the demon. And he'd regret the death of the demon that's protected him and given him strength, through a brutal year of betrayal and torment. I don't know if y'all remember the scenes in the Ossuary of the failed experiments and the corpses you had to pass to get to his jar of blood. It wasn't fun.

When you break out of the mind prison after helping him bond with Spite, it's intimate and momentous, even on a platonic route. You've seen desperate and lonely parts of him he'd never willingly show anyone.

As you're convincing Lucanis that it's okay to leave his mind-prison, you tell him you understand that it's easier to deal with problems like the Ossuary and Zara than healing and living with Spite, potentially hurting people he cares about. But he wants to. It's Rook's job to help him see a path out, a way for him to make the struggle easier so he can begin to heal himself.

I need to stress: you aren't "fixing" him. You're acting as his lighthouse, regardless of whether you're a friend or a lover. Sometimes people need help. He's still going to have to do the work to get there.

As a friend, it was extremely rewarding to come back to the kitchen and see him doing exactly as I'd hoped: moving on with the business of *living*. He made a nice dinner for everyone he's come to care for, and a special dessert for Neve. Cooking is where Lucanis finds creativity, and comfort, and connection with his friends and family. He isn't very good with words, but he will note everything you consume, and try to make you feel loved by expressing it that way.

Which is why I think it's important you don't dismiss the commitment on the romantic route. He remembers YOUR favorite drink and makes YOU a special dessert if you're romancing him. Lucanis isn't going to get poetic. You've already made him feel raw. You've seen the ugly, embarassing parts of him. What is he supposed to say? Usually it takes Spite reaching through his body to actually be direct. Instead, Lucanis reaches for food, his favorite medium, to try and apologize for inadvertently showing you those things, to thank you for helping him despite seeing what he considers the most shameful parts of him. Your commitment is letting him know that you value him, that he has nothing to be ashamed of, that you understand what he's trying to express with his struggling communication skills, which appear to get better as your relationship progresses from there.

It's weird that some of y'all don't feel that this is heartfelt and important, because you'd rather him act out some sensuous fantasy trope. It's also weird that some of you haven't figured out that many scenes in RPG's can be similar on platonic and romantic routes with tweaks to shade context.

(Also just in case this comes up: cooking is not his "love language" - that whole concept was invented by a misogynistic weirdo and we should remove it from our ideas of communication)

Anyway, this guy is my Rook's bestie and I'll go down swinging for him, you should appreciate the fuck out of him and stop acting like his writer didn't craft a perfectly funny little weirdo who is bad at showing people his tender parts and terrible at interpersonal relationships.

[halinski]

.

[wonryllis]

𝜗𝜚 'OH' I LOVE LOVE HER?

╰ 𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒'𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗎𝗇.

𝒏o𝓉ℯs. enhypen realizing it's you 𖥔 ݁ rom-fluff, kinda poetic? LIB? fem!reader requested word count ` 1945

꒰˵ˊᯅˋ˵꒱ love how this turned out!! <3. unedited!

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆

he doesn't know much about love, he's never really experienced it yet. he has fallen for conventional and unconventional things, things that compliment and things that complete, he's been through the good phases and stuck through bad ones, he held on to things he shouldn't and let go of things he should.

there are a lot of lessons he has learned along every relationship he has been in the lines of yet lee heeseung doesn't believe he's ever been in love until he has been with you.

it wasn't something he knew he felt, but it was surely something he realized in the spur of a moment, in a split second of epiphany. he knew what he felt for you was something deep when he realized that yes he wouldn't hesitate to die for you, but what he wants is to live for you. it's easy to be the first to go but to hold your strength through everything and survive for someone, that is definitely love is what heeseung believes.

"baby, baby calm down i'm okay," he reassures your crying and frantic figure as you scan his injuries, ones he got from trying to protect you from a fatal fall. perhaps it was the situation or perhaps it was realisation of it all.

when he jumped to saved you all he could think about was he'd give his life if it meant you lived, but in this moment he cannot bear to see you so devastated, to think he could've left you like this? no, he's decided he is never going to do it until he can't help it and even then he'd fight to stay with his love.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆

he has lived his life prioritizing his family over everything else. to him nothing can go above and beyond familial love. he doesn't really believe he can love anyone anything like he loves his family and that is a statement of disappointed in itself. if there's anything he wants to give his best for it's people who have stuck with him since day one.

bonds need to tested by time is the belief he holds dear until his world crashes into yours and time changes from something that defines to something that builds. his relationship with yours is not as long as people he's close to but however long you have spent together seems to strengthen and augment the bond.

his love for you settles into an understanding of his when finds you running through days and nights in the hospital caring for his family after a big blow. a choice to choose, not an obligation to carry out. a crack in his notions you give him a new definition of love.

"y/n? baby come on go and freshen up, i'll watch over mom," his hand rests on your head, soft caresses to wake you up after the long night you spent sitting beside his mother while he ran around for paperwork.

as you leave the room in a rush wanting to come back quickly and take his place so that he can get his rest, jay finds himself seeing you in a new light, telling his mother that he's found an angel. the angel she always told him about, the angel he loves.

𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍

he has spent years jumping from person to person, reveled and basked in moments of happiness and run away amidst the weights of problems. there is a price to pay for everything and love is no exception but he has yet to accept the fact of reality, the thorns that come along with the scent and beauty of roses.

love gives and love takes, love heals and love hurts. it takes several trials and a meeting with you for jake to understand that.

to him it is a conscious decision, a hard hit and an opening of eyes when he realizes you're the one for him. he has never made it work until you, coming to the conclusion in the middle of the worst argument that you're worth all the trouble. and if wants to have you by his side, he needs to fix this and he needs to cherish you.

he can see himself with you for the rest of his life, one single person he is willing to fight for. for jake sim you are a sphere of acceptance, you redefine love and endurance for him.

"one day we're gonna have kids together and i want them to see that daddy really loves mommy, i'll change for the better i promise," jake's voice softens as he hits the big realization, getting down on his knees, tears falling free. your arms slip around him in a hug and jake swears he'll do all it takes to become the one for you, he'll do all it takes to make this worth it, he'll do all it takes to have you stay. because he's found the one he loves, the one he wants to be his best for.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

he has always felt a gaping hole in his chest, a feeling of homesickness even when he is home, a feeling of vanity even when he shines bright soaring through all the achievement of his dreams. to him there's something that's always missing.

no he has never thought of love but he has never despised it either. he doesn't dwell on the possibilities of it but the absence and lack of them. until you enter his life completing him like a perfect piece of puzzle, a missing piece of him.

he realizes his love for you in bits and moments of warmth, slowly step by step as you fill the void. from helping him through his hard times and cheering him on in his good ones, sunghoon finds his home in you, a walk so long but finally arriving at it's destiny, where it's always been meant to be.

perhaps he's always longed for love and never understood it. nevertheless, park sunghoon finds it in his moments of mundanity with you. you teach him the power of the presence of love.

"my little charmie, loved your pretty banner," sunghoon leaves a wet kiss on your lips, arms going around your waist as he comes rushing to you a second after winning the championship, cameras all panned on the champion of the season but all he can see is you. you feel like a warm hug on a rainy day, a blanket of comfort near the fireplace. all the anxiety he ever felt, the pressure to be on the top, you took it all and turned it into something beautiful and enjoyable.

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎

he has grown up surrounded and so bathed in love, he thinks he knows it all, he has seen it all. every version of love, and everything that exists in between. so confident he'd know it instantly, the one for him, the love of his life.

but love takes time and love find it's loopholes. someone that evokes no romantic feelings could become everything in just a turn of events. kim sunoo never believed or cared to understand that until he felt that something for you. that little upturn of sparkles and butterflies, that intense emotion kindling in his heart when he sees you in a new ambience. a single moment of revelation when he's staring at you talk about things that you love, things that he doesn't like but suddenly he doesn't mind hearing about it.

he knows he hasn't felt this way before for you, there's something different and that difference makes him rethink his entire relationship with you. you become so important to him in a split moment, love so familiar and calm yet unfamiliar and exciting.

"go on i'm listening," sunoo has his head on his hands, eyes shaped crescents, a gaze so loving anyone can see how he feels, so transparent.

the tiny flowers behind you would look so pretty on you, no- you look so much prettier than the flowers, your voice is so pretty, the way your lips move, the way your eyes light up, has sunoo always loved hearing about legos? no. has he always loved listening to you? he doesn't know but he could hear you talk forever.

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍

he is one who sees love in everything around. the little things and the big things. in the light and in the dark. in memories of the past and in possibilities of the future. there is not a specific instance where he realizes his feelings. to him you are the premonition of love. he knew it from the very moment he met you that you are the one he is going fall in love with. that inner instinct that instantly sparked up when you entered his life.

every day and every second it grows, it piles up, it escalates. the weight of life and the wings of love you make everything easier. one who has always given meeting one who gives back to him.

overwhelmed in an ocean of new eternal verities, a feeling so mad, blind and passionate he finds himself wanting to be bound to you by his every bone. if there's a forever then he wants to spend it with you taking walks by the river, watching the lantern festival with a smile on your faces, so sick in love it makes everyone else sick.

"i wish this wish comes true," jungwon whispers to himself as he watches you walk ahead of him, turning back time and again to tell him how far your lit lantern made with a pretty little smile on your face. he wants to see this everyday, every morning, every night till however long he can and if possible even in his afterlife and all the lives that come ahead.

to be the one to be chosen by you because he for one will always choose you in all forms of reality and at every chance,"baby wait up for me, let's go together!" hand in hand all along.

𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈

he has always found himself struggling to express his emotions, words and actions alike. something so inherent in him, he can't seem to overcome it. the sheer desperation to get his feelings through to someone, he's never felt it. he hasn't ever felt the need to feel it. to connect so closely with another is not something he has ever been comfortable with or wanted to be comfortable with.

until you happened and riki's world went through a turmoil of sentiments, wrecking him from inside so intensely he could never go back to before. love is something he has never experienced and something he could never fathom.

it just never made sense to him, how one could feel so much solely for another. but in moments of his silence where you struggled to understand it all, he realized the importance, the willingness to learn to express his feelings.

your tears and your smiles he wanted to be the one to comfort and the one you showed your happiness to. the one you love and the one he loves.

"i've never said this before but you are so special to me, what i feel for you is something i've never felt for anyone else and i don't wanna lose you by not letting you know that. i'm wanna learn to show you that again and again,"

riki smiles through his tears letting himself be vulnerable before you, as you hold the little handmade gift he got. your own tears threatening to fall while you nod vigorously reaching forward to let him know it'll all be okay.

TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @nanabbg @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly

[readychilledwine]

Hello. First of all thank you for that post, it amazing and no one has ever responded. I would like you to write another story of az where they have a child and she and her child get kidnapped. And she dies trying to the child. Az goes bolistic. (If u don't want the reader to die it's cool with me. Whatever u think is best). Thank u and have an amazing day ahead.

Eeeeee. This made little pregnant brain go meeeeep. I kind of changed it up. I didn't want to actively kill the reader, because I can't imagine Azriel ever pulling himself back together after that. I just imagine if Azriel found someone he loved enough to have a child with, it would devastate him. So. I put a spin on it. if I squeeze my eyes shut really tight, I can create a world where he finds a mate and heals with her, but that wound would always be there, and that creates angst. So this is loosely based on the aftermath of your request. I'm sorry it isn't perfect.

Replacement

Warnings - trauma, mention of torture, Az being kind of an ass.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

The words echoed in your mind. You aren't his mother! Azriel had screamed them at you so carelessly. Just because Xiden had come to you for a booboo. Just because Xiden had called you "mommy" and Azriel had heard it. How dare you seriously think you can replace her? What the fuck is wrong with you?

You loved your mate's son. You loved that little illyrian more than you could form into words. Shock had fallen into your own bones after he called you mommy and kissed your cheek, though. That wasn't a threshold you had meant to cross. It was an unspoken line in the sand. You were not his mother, and Azriel had managed to remind you quickly and make you feel so small over one word uttered by a child.

Your relationship with the two started a few years ago. You were Nyx and Xiden's private nanny. Rhysand had met you once in a volunteer childcare center. The two of you had talked about everything you had found important in raising little ones, and the High Lord brought you to his mate instantly. They had been looking for childcare whose values aligned with theirs for weeks, and Feyre, with tears of relief in her eyes, hired you on the spot and made a pay offer you would have been stupid to turn down.

You spent time with the two young boys constantly. You three would spend countless hours giggling. Your life ranged from cooking with them, playing with them, snuggling them, and doing basic school lessons with them, but mostly teaching them how to be good fae, teaching them right from wrong, showing them how to love and respect themselves and others.

Nyx was wonderful. You adored the little heir. But there was something about the way Xiden would hold your hand when you three would go for walks, the way he constantly searched for your approval. You can't remember if it was the first night he ran to your guest room on an extended care stay and buried himself so deep into your arms and pillows that made you love him, or if it was the solstice gift he drew of you, him, and Nyx that hung framed in your living room that sealed the deal, but you loved Xiden. Unconditionally and unexpectedly.

You had finally asked Feyre one night about his mother when she came over to bring you a birthday gift from the Inner Circle and the boys. Azriel had appeared after she told you gently Xiden's mother had died. He had the little male in tow. He had his wings tucked in so tight around him and his little footie pajamas and that made your heart tighten as he ran to you. 

The bond snapped for Azriel as you were kneeled down, holding his son and comforting him. It snapped for you when you woke up to the male shirtless in your kitchen, making breakfast for the three of you after Xiden refused to leave.

There was no going back after that. Xiden had a room at your apartment now. You had things in their home. You and Azriel told each other everything. Well, almost everything. He still had not told you about his former love or where she was.  Xiden had done it late one night after another screaming fit woke him up and had him crawling into bed with you.

I watched momma die, you had tried to tell him it was just a bad dream. But when his eyes met yours and he shook his little head, you shattered into pieces. I watched it, miss y/n. I watched them hurt momma.

You had approached Azriel about it gently, holding his hand as he closed you out. You didn't push the issue at all, knowing he'd tell you when he was ready to. You had, however, pushed for him to enroll Xiden into therapy with Madja.

That was almost 8 months ago now, though. Tonight had been the breaking point. It stung, knowing the male you adored had all but dismissed his son's feelings, and your own, without giving you a single explanation of why. You had left his home in silence despite him calling for you. You had shielded yourself for the time and sealed the bond so deeply into your heart that you couldn't feel him, and he couldn't feel you. 

You curled deeper into the bed, holding your blanket tight against yourself as you cried. You had no interest in replacing Xiden's mom. You never set that as a goal in this relationship. You just wanted to love Azriel, love his son. You wanted to support them, be there for them. 

A loud knock came at your door, and you ignored it. Then another, more insistent than the next, and finally, your door just opened. You knew it was him, that he had picked the lock. He made his way to your bedroom, opening the door without knocking and moving to sit on the bed next to you. 

"I'm sorry, y/n," his hand found your hip as he tried to get your attention. "I lashed out, and I shouldn't have. It's just- It's hard. Knowing she should be here, but isn't."

"I never wanted to replace her, Az. I never asked to fill that role." You voice sounded as broken as you knew it would. Hours of crying finally had begun to show damage.

"I know, love. I know."

"You won't even tell me what happened to them. All I can do is offer him whatever I can based on what I know, and then i get yelled at for it. How can I comfort him, help him, and support him when I don't know the full story. How can I support YOU when I don't even know what happened?"

His jaw tightened as he looked at you. He had been avoiding this conversation for too long, and now it had come to a head. "When Xiden was 4, he and his mother were visiting her parents in Illyria without my knowledge." Azriel looked up, blinking tears away as his throat grew tight. "I had made a few enemies in the camp they went to, and they took them. It took us 3 weeks to find them and track them down. By time we got there, she was gone. Xiden was.." His jaw tightened again. "He was traumatized. He had watched them rape, beat, and torture his mother for weeks. He was starved, sleep deprived, and disassociated from us completely. I only added to that trauma by slaughtering every single male in that place without thinking about the fact that he was right there."

"He wouldn't let me touch him for weeks. He ran to Rhys and Cassian instead of me. And it killed me." Azriel was biting his lip, shadows stilled and wrapped around him as his wings also pulled in. "I will never forget her lifeless eyes, her body, her bruised face. I will never forget my son's broken mind and soul. I will never forgive myself for what happened to them."

You sat up, running a hand up and down his back and between his wings. "It wasn't your fault, Az. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

He broke then, sobbing out a gentle I know as he broke down. "I just don't want him to forget her, how much she loved him, how much she sacrificed for him."

"He won't," you said firmly. "He never will. He's six, Az. He remembers his momma. He knows I am not her." Azriel nodded. "Az, you need to forgive yourself. You can't move forward, and Xiden can't move forward, with this cloud hanging here." Another silent nod as he leaned further into your touch. "You need to give yourself permission to be happy, to move on, and to take care of him without being scared of the world."

"It's just so hard," you nodded this time, kissing between his shoulder blades. "I loved her so fucking much."

"I know. Her picture is still up in your office. I make sure to dust it every day. You also have some of her dresses still. A few of her blankets." His shoulders fell, guilt flooding the now empty bond. "Don't," you whispered. "Don't feel guilty for loving the mother of your child. Don't feel guilty for wanting to honor her memory." 

"Please come back." Azriel sounded broken at the confession he was about to make. "He can't sleep when you aren't there." You nodded, grabbing a bag to pack an outfit for tomorrow. 

Azriel watched you moving through the room in silence. "I wanted to talk about you moving in," you froze on the spot. "Or us finding somewhere for the 3 of us."

"Az-"

"I fucked that up, though, didn't I?" You shook your head, rushing to him and throwing yourself onto him and the bed. "Or maybe I didn't?"

"Of course I want to move in with you two." Your response was muffled into his neck. You could feel his smile grow. 

"Perfect." He said.

"Perfect." You agreed. 

[sissytobitch10seconds]

So I'm going to go on a little tangent here. I usually don't do the whole symbolism is the actual meaning thing because it doesn't make sense to me most times.

But I keep seeing the take that the ending of the Umbrella Academy is telling abused people that it's their fault and they have to die for the sin of being abused. I don't think this is what the show was telling us at all, if we're going down the route of things not being taken literally.

When Five goes to Max's diner and meets all the other Fives, they're distinguished by one word in front of their name, which implies that they're not really all that different from each other. Otherwise, they would have chosen other names for themselves. This is an important part of my theory for what the ending actually meant.

The timelines fractured when the marigold was released and created the forty three kids. I believe that because Marigold is such a strong element that literally warps the environment it belongs in (In the comics Allison created a giant John Wilks Booth to kill the Abraham Lincoln statue that had come to life, Klaus can basically raise the dead, Diego can warp space to make things turn and move, etc.) it also fractured the bodies that it inhabits. It created life inside of those women and thus it's not that far of a stretch to assume that each timeline has a part of the people it created instead of it being the standard timeline nonsense.

I mean, if it were the standard theory with timelines (i.e. the timeline is always divulging with each action or inaction that we perform) then Five wouldn't have said they needed to come together. We have always trusted Five when it comes to timeline stuff before, he was intelligent enough to have created the Commission after all.

So if the timelines hold a part of the forty-three, then they have to come together for all of the Marigold Holders to be whole. Their souls may exist in the singular timeline where the durango has consumed the marigold, but we don't know that for sure.

Thus, because each timeline represents a fraction of our beloved characters, the ending where they die is not actually telling them that they have to die because of their abuse. It's telling them (and us) that to recover from abuse and become a non-fractured person, you have to let the version of yourself that your abuser created become a part of you or die off. I know that I had to let go of the person that my abusive ex-girlfriend made so that I could feel more like my true self.

We see Lila and Diego's three kids, Claire, and Lila's parents playing in the park in the end-credits scene. Umbrella Academy isn't a stupid show, it already showed us what happened when kids without parents are born. So it implies that some form of at least Lila, Diego, and Allison exist in the final timeline.

Thus, the ending is not telling us that abused people have to die to stop causing pain or whatever the inane take is, it's telling us that to heal you have to come to terms with all the parts of yourself and let go of the bad behaviors that you exhibit. I could do a whole other post about how the Umbrellas aren't really full people, they're defense mechanisms walking around in people-suits. Our Umbrellas aren't gone, they're existing in a better form and without the pain that Reginald caused them which would fundamentally change them as people and make them unrecognizable to us.

The flower represent the abused part of them, the powers and the Academy and the end of the world and the Commission and Oblivion, that still exists but is so small in their healed selves that they don't even have to look at it if they don't want to.

[fangsandfeels]

Bioware had continuity issues before...

...but with Veiguard, I feel like this time it just didn't care and was in a hurry to bury the DA world as fast as possible, so it could proceed to finishing Mass Effect off the same way.

Spoiler-y nitpicks and thoughts below

Once again, I'm all for the premise of almost none of the higher beings and deities of Thedas being kind or benevolent - and all of them turning out to be not what they seemed or were promised to be.

It fits the undergoing theme of every group in Thedas subtly believing that their true gods will come and fix everything, and every atrocity, every bloodbath, every sacrifice will be worth it. For the plot to take away that hope and expose how deep the wounds go, how absolutely wrecked this world is (and you can never un-wreck it , would have been absolutely logical and very in tune with the general tone of the series.

The Old Gods

If Archdemons contain not the souls of the Old Gods, but the key to the Evanuris mortality, why was Solas mad at the Grey Wardens for killing them? Why did Mythal/Flemeth needed to preserve the soul of an Old God? Wouldn't she, a betrayed and angry goddess, want to sever her traitors' connection to immortality? Instead, she wanted it "a piece of what once was, snatched from the jaws of darkness". Something, that meant to be saved from corruption and destruction. But now Solas dismisses it by saying that Old Gods were never a thing, it has always been the Evanuris using dragons as their conduits and immortality placeholders?

Then why did you give Grey Wardens so much crap for killing these dragons, Solas?!

Yeah, we can argue that Solas was worrying about the Evanuris not being able to sustain the Veil due to losing their immortality, but he was going to bring it down anyways? So what difference would it have made anyways?

Something doesn't add up.

I think, the most logical thing would have been to leave the Old Gods as the raw magic incarnate - truly a relict from the world back when magic was everywhere. So, it would have make sense for Flemeth, Morrigan and Solas want to preserve it - despite all the destructive potential, it has always belonged to this world. It would have also explained why darkspawn need to infect the slumbering Old Gods - as ancient magical beings, they are attuned to the world, and the taint means to exploit that connection.

2. The taint and the Blight

If the taint is the product of the Titan's anger and desire for vengeance...why can Ghila'nain use it like her own personal Play-Doh? I'd imagine, the pure concentration of wrath and anger should be particularly deadly for the Evanuris - because it's directed against them, first and foremost. I don't mind the Titans being as the general source of the plague - it would explain the Deep Roads and darkspawn behavior. A twisted wish to be whole again, an unfulfilled desire to keep fighting - a constant, never-ending call to arms. It also would have been a nice callback to the state of the Mother from Awakening: she woke up only to realize and remember what has been done to her, which broke her mind and made her desperate to either die or return to that mindless state of rage and destruction. So do the Titans feel, knowing they were mutilated and plundered, broken apart, and are in too much pain to ever forgive or know peace.

If Titans were so connected to the physical world, the taint changing everything it touches would have made sense: life itself twisting and contorting into a weapon, against an attacker it can't see or find. This is truly tragic, horrifying and realistic - taint as a wound that cannot heal, that festers, and rots but never closes. It's a very accurate depiction of trauma caused by a genocidal war.

Therefore, it would have made more sense if the Evanuris were fucking terrified of the taint and the darkspawn because of how devastating it was to them and because they had no clue how to destroy it - they could only contain it and hope it works.

Maybe Ghila'nain tried to master it but barely survived and went mad, modifying her body and "perfecting" herself as a result. It would still have been possible to keep her obsessed with taint - mostly out of pure denial that something can be beyond her control as she believes herself to be the Goddess of Creation.

Also, you can still have your scarier version of more active and virulent taint - just make it change in response to the gods appearing in the physical world. Make it spread more actively, make the darkspawn go into frenzy, make it look like the new Blight is starting - but now it's as if blindly searching for something or someone. Wouldn't that be fucking creepy?

Maybe, for the first time in a long while, the South of Thedas isn't the one to take a hit - instead, the darkspawn are flocking to where the gods are.

(Of course, the question is, why the taint doesn't target the elves specifically? Because of them losing their immortality - the taint isn't exactly sentient, so it perceives them as part of physical world)

It would have posed such an interesting and controversial option for the player: to weaponize the Blight to end the gods.

3. Maker

I remember that the developers mentioned that the Maker never meant to be real. It was meant to represent the humanity's ability to believe in a symbol. But the Veilguard's "the legend about the Maker was actually about magister's breaking into the prison made by Solas and accidentally blighting all around the place" is such an underwhelming conclusion. After all, the Ashes of Andraste meant to imply that there is something. That it's not just a collective gaslighting - but something else.

I feel like they could have made so much with it:

In the context of the taint's connection to the Titans, what if Maker has always been somewhat of an emissary of the taint? It was cut off from the dwarves and locked away - but it needed a way out, right? Even subconsciously, it knew that it has to get out. It was the music that kept playing, the song that called. So, it reached out to other beings of the physical world, whispering to them and beckoning them. Andraste, due to probably being a Dream Walker or extremely sensitive to the Fade, caught a glimpse of that events, but was never able to make sense of it, which led her to fill in the gaps, which led to the creation of andrastianism. Therefore, Maker didn't leave the Golden City - once the taint was released, it fulfilled its purpose.

What if Andraste willed the Maker into existence? Since Fade is attuned to people's dreams, thoughts, and inner worlds, maybe Andraste's connection to it was so strong, it channeled her pain, her wish for justice and salvation into a figure that she believed to be the Maker? What if she was even able to perform miracles with the Maker as her avatar, turning people into believers? So, logically, when she died, the Maker stopped responding: she was no longer there to sustain him. No amount of prayers and sermons, of repressions and murders, of crusades and chats would have made the Maker return - because the only person actually capable of that was burned and killed long ago. This would have also explained why some spirits believe in Maker because they saw him in people's dreams - the Maker never existed in any other shape and it couldn't manifest completely because his image differed based on individual person's imagination and convictions.

After all, the true horror of living is realizing that nobody is control. Nobody is coming to fix things for you. There is no hope - only the consequences you are forced to live in.

[wenamedthedogkylo]

I already said this in my other post but this really deserves to stand on its own and honestly I'm crying over it so it has to get written down somewhere, but when Bor'Dor took a pull from Ashton's pipe, the smoke turned into an image of him shooting a Fire Bolt at the janky, creepy, lovingly set up dummy that the Hells had made for him. The target that his own targets made out of admiration for him, out of affection, out of genuinely wanting to see him grow his potential.

Ashton's pipe showed that the greatest, most heroic moment of Bor'Dor's life was casting Fire Bolt at that target, and getting to celebrate it with the rest of the Hells. It was feeling accepted for the first time in his life. Feeling respected. Feeling like he belonged, like he and his magic belonged and weren't some horrible, dangerous thing that they would fear him for or would have a temple come and cart him away for.

These people—who he somehow either followed across an ocean or luckily ran into—who he specifically stayed with because he intended to kill them for sabotaging the Ruby Vanguard's plans. For killing "his friends" in Marquet.

These people were the ones he finally felt accepted by. Not the Ruby Vanguard.

He gave Ashton the first piece of mental relief and relaxation they'd felt in years, maybe ever. He gave them jerky, and made them fruit leather, and caught a little fish and had Prism Enlarge it to make sure they could eat. Was he telling himself it was just to ingratiate himself to them, to get closer so the knife would be easier to twist? When did ingratiating himself become "I wanted you to like me"? Did he have to keep convincing himself it was all part of the plan, that he didn't really like them, that he didn't want to keep them alive but he had to to get his revenge, that he could let them die at any moment and this wasn't just him getting attached because how could he get attached to people he meant to kill?

Did Bor'Dor realize, in the moment that he decided to try killing them in that cave, that the Vanguard had only ever seen him as a weapon? That his "friends" who'd died in Marquet (he'd watched Ashton throw some of their bodies out of the Hole just days ago) wouldn't have sought revenge for his death the same way, because he was nothing more than a tool for one man's schemes? Did he realize he had more in common with Orym who'd lost all his loved ones to Ludinus and Otohan and the Vanguard—with Laudna and her myriad of terrifying, beautiful magical gifts and her desire to do good with them—than he'd ever had in common with anyone in the Vanguard?

Is that part of why he just tried to run?

It didn't have to be this way!

Bor'Dor healed most of the group right after fighting the Taker. He knew that his Vitriolic Sphere probably wouldn't kill all of them, that they had health potions and could recover. He just needed to get away. Get away so that they couldn't come after him, and he didn't have to see how he'd hurt the only people who'd welcomed him into their hearts in years, and he could tell himself that maybe they did die and he'd fulfilled his mission, and could tell himself too that maybe they didn't die and he hadn't actually killed his only real friends in the world.

I saw you! In Marquet! You murdered my friends!

Was he really still angry at the Hells for killing Ruby Vanguard members? Or was he trying desperately to fight back against how much they cared about him? How much they had genuinely reached out and taken him in? How much it was going to hurt him to hurt them? Was he trying to cling to his original purpose, so that he could ignore how much it hurt to kill the first people who'd seen his magic and said "you're amazing" and meant it? Who'd said "can I try something", "what else can you do", "it's nice to know I'm not alone, because you're in the same boat as me"?

And when he gave up... when he didn't try to fight back... when he begged for the end because there was no point anymore...

The Vanguard wasn't enough to stay alive for. And he'd just betrayed the only people who'd ever completely accepted him. There was no point anymore. No point in fighting. No point in living. He was done. He'd had enough.

Bor'Dor Dog'Son deserves his peace. I'm glad he got it.

[judasgot-it]

HELLO‼️‼️ If you’re okay with it could u maybe write Tecchou with an s/o who tends to injure themselves on missions because they feel the need to “protect” him even if he is the strongest hunting dog😭😭 AHAKXBSBSKSSNSNJAJKS I don’t mind it if you write a oneshot or headcanons, i rlly don’t mind anything tbh (or just ignore this in general if you have no motivation/ideas for it)

I would do this because Tecchou is my pookie and I'm stupid as hell. Delusional, even.

The new chapter was terrible and I hope Tecchou stays alive. MY POOKIE MUST LIVE

Scenario: Getting injured while defending Tecchou (i guess this is angsty sorry its the mood im in)

You had fucked up. Big time.

Being a Hunting Dog meant that you were going to be injured. Also meant that you were going to fight while you were still healing those injuries.

It didn't matter. It never mattered.

This was what the job called for, and you were always going to have to just deal with it. That's what it meant when your body was never truly yours.

But you were stupid, and sometimes you would rather forget this part of yourself.

You weren't the strongest in your group - far from it. Nor were you the smartest.

Maybe the dumbest. Because right now, you were sure you had just killed yourself on the field. A stupid decision, really; it hurts to die. It hurts a lot, and you don't know why you didn't know that.

"Y/n."

"I'm sorry." What were you supposed to say? You died. Came back, but you had also died.

And now Tecchou seemed upset at you for it. His golden eyes were making holes through your skull, which was honestly a horrible feeling. He was usually easy to read when you knew his little quirks - the lines of his face, and how his body was almost always relaxed around the team.

Right now it was like he was on high alert. But also angry. His face hadn't changed, and it was making you scared.

"Y/n," He breathed in a breath so large it was as if he was breathing in slow motion. The only time he took his gaze away was to blink, and it was frightening how yellow his eyes really were. "Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"I'm not stupid." Tecchou laid his sword out across his lap - hard to tell if he was relaxed or trying to intimidate you. Just his stance, the way he spread his large body out in the hospital bed so naturally had made you feel so small.

"I just don't know what you mean."

"Why did you die?"

"...Because I got stabbed in the neck?"

Tecchou's face looked as if you had farted at a funeral. It was almost an impossible feat to pull the look from the man, so you should really give yourself an award.

Unfortunately, he only gave you a few seconds to enjoy the look, as he wiped it away quickly, instead starting a staring contest with a poster on the wall.

You wanted to say something to make him feel better - you had died, so really, shouldn't you be celebrating the medical miracle? Plus, you did die to save him.

Why would he be upset?

Carefully, you pulled yourself up from your hospital bed, leaning closer to the chestnut-haired man and gave him your best smile. You felt a little gross, and you hoped he wouldn't mind - you hadn't gotten the chance to brush your teeth since your last battle, so you were sure you looked disgusting.

"Are you okay?" You felt almost weak saying that.

Of course he would be okay. He was Tecchou Suehiro, the strongest hunting dog. He was sitting in the chair, untouched, while you were bedridden and covered in new scars.

"I'm," His hand reached for your wrist, thumbing around to feel the bones that hid underneath your skin. His eyes said nothing, only staring at your skin as he prodded around. "You fucking died."

"Died for you."

The concept wasn't hard. It was so easy to say it, but Tecchou only stared at you, as if he had heard it again for the first time.

I would die for you.

Not a new concept for lovers, by any means. Although, maybe it meant a little more when you were both soldiers.

"I can protect you, Y/n."

Tecchou looked up at you, his amber eyes glassy. His hand grabbed your shoulder, a firm grip as he leaned in close enough to breathe in your air. You would have leaned away, but he had eaten something sweeter earlier and it lingered on his breath, making the interrogation bearable.

It was also impossible to look away, given that his face was beautiful underneath even the worst of hospital lighting.

"I want to protect you, Tecchou."

"But you died."

"That's our job."

He sighed, leaning his body against the bed. You were trapped, and there was no way to escape him. Tecchou had practically started to steal your breaths as they came out of your mouth, the conversation continuing as normal.

"I would rather it be me than you."

One of his hands reached up to brush your hair out of your face, taking his time as his fingers reached a knot and gently brushing through it. He took his fingers and played with hair like this, slowly dragging them across your scalp.

"That's depressing. We can't both die."

You tried your best to laugh, despite the stitches along your throat. The best you could do was a smile, which Tecchou returned with mercy.

It wasn't funny, but neither was dying.

this probably should be longer but like yolo

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Jealousy, jealousy

Warnings; Angst, jealousy, jealousy, mentions of blood, possessive Eddie, smutty, smutty smut, smut. 18+ minors do not interact.

Based on this idea of mine. I've changed a couple of small things but the plot is still the same.

Having vampire Eddie thots 👀😏 imagine Eddie using the reader as a source for blood and he makes sure she knows it means nothing and is just an arrangement.

Chrissy is in the picture (she didnt die due to Vecna's curse) and her and Eddie are trying to date but everytime it doesn't work out like they want and neither know why.

The reader finding out about Chrissy decides she could never compete with the blonde and knows she has to move on from Eddie.

For the last few weeks, she's been having deeper feelings for him but since he made it clear that their 'relationship' means nothing she decides to date someone else.

Eddie finds out when the reader hasn't been around for a few days and sees her with her date and the guy is cozying up to her, kissing her neck, and being very into her.

She's mine is all he can think in his head and hes just possessive and extremely jealous and doesn't want anyone near her which is when he realizes he wants to be with her and not Chrissy.

He scares the shit out of the reader's date and takes her home.

They argue and smuttiness ensues. He fucks her until she can't even remember her date's name.

That's as far as I get but it would be super fun to write.👀

💞

I don't give anyone permission to copy my work.

If you enjoy this fic pls consider giving it a reblog, it is very much appreciated.

💖💖

Eddie moans as yn's warm blood seeps into his mouth, she tastes divine and he pulls her closer her whole body is flush against his and he has to control the way he reacts to her pressed so tight against him.

He pulls away not wanting to take too much from her and she whimpers as he lets go.

Her eyes are wide, pupils blown and he smirks kinda enjoying the effect he has on her.

He gives her a little of his blood and the wound on her wrist seals shut.

Meanwhile, she watches him lost in her thoughts. For weeks now she had been falling for Eddie but she knew this thing between them meant nothing.

She offered her blood to him so he would have a blood source and he didn't kill anyone, he would heal her if he took too much and that was that.

They were friends... Sometimes they talked a lot, especially through the first few weeks of getting used to Eddie feeding on her but it was just so she was comfortable.

"What are you up to tonight?" she asks him curiously as he buttons up his shirt, the wound he made for her to drink from on his neck was healed already.

She tries not to look at his tattoos, or his chest, or anything like that because looking at him made her want him more.

"I'm meeting up with Chrissy" she pauses as he says this and her stomach sinks. Chrissy Cunningham?

"Oh... Are you together now?" he nods.

"We haven't decided anything yet" she is aware of her heart racing and the way it feels like it's aching too hard in her chest.

Swallowing the hurt she gives him a big smile.

"That's great Eddie" he doesn't reply, he's watching her concerned.

"You okay sweetheart? Your hearts racing? Did I take too much blood?" shit! she forgot about his vampire hearing.

"I'm fine Eddie" he doesn't look convinced but seeing the stubborn set of her jaw he backs down.

"Right, I'll see you tomorrow. Henderson's party" she nods and waits until he's left via her window before she sinks back on her bed feeling sick.

Chrissy and Eddie. It made sense as they probably trauma bonded with all that shit happening in the upside down and with Vecna.

Thank God that was all over with now that Vecna and The Upside Down were no more.

What was she thinking though? Falling for Eddie. Chrissy would always have his attention and not her, she could never compete with Chrissy.

Maybe Nancy was right and she should forget her feelings for Eddie and be with someone who liked her.

💞💖

Eddie wasn't sure why things were so awkward with him and Chrissy? They had been together for a little while. Gone on a couple dates and kissed and while it was nice something was amiss.

Perhaps he was overthinking it? It's just as much as they bonded after Vecna and like his friends, she gave him a sense of normalcy... something still felt amiss.

She was sweet and kind to him and kissing her was nice but he didn't want just nice, he wanted to feel something... More.

It was stressing him out and he didnt know how to deal with it. He had asked Steve for advice and Steve said that if it wasn't working between him and Chrissy then he needed to end it and not drag it out.

He didn't want to hurt Chrissy though as she had been a good friend to him.

Honestly he just didnt know what to do.

💖💖

With all the stress between him and Chrissy spending a moment with yn pressed against him as he sucked greedily at the cut on her shoulder made him bliss out for a few seconds.

Gripping her close to him, makes him forget all of his troubles, and he sucks in a pleasure-filled moan as her hand fisted in his hair.

He pulls away and she looks a bit dazed but once he has fed her a little of his blood she quickly recovers.

"You taste incredible," he tells her, not for the first time and she looks away flustered.

'You sure know how to charm a woman, Munson, what time is it? " he shrugs feeling deliciously at ease.

"Nearly six" her eyes widen and she gets up in a panic.

"Fuck" he chuckles amused at her.

"What's the rush?" she shrugs on her jacket and applies some lipstick.

"I'm meeting someone" something twinges in Eddie's gut.

"A friend?" she shakes her head.

"A date, I have a date. Nancy set us up" he is quiet for a moment and he doesn't like the way his stomach sours at the thought, a visceral twist of jealousy bubbles up inside him.

"Since when were you dating?" he asks confused and trying to tamper down that hot burning surge of envy in his body.

"Danny is a nice guy" the name registers and conjures up a blonde blue-eyed guy, a basketball player, friend of Carver.

"Him? the guy is a douchebag" she glowers at him.

"We're not in high school anymore Eddie" she points out to him sternly and he shuts up.

"Anyway, I need you to make yourself scarce, I'm meeting Danny, and we are heading back here. I'm making him dinner"

Eddie sits on the bed stunned.

"You're kicking me out?" he doesn't know why it bothers him so much but it does and she smiles at his expression.

"Quit pouting Munson" she teases him and then presses a kiss on his cheek. His hand touches the spot and it feels like his whole body is electrified.

Shit... he was fucked.

💞💖

Truth be she had a nice time with Danny, he was fun to be around and kind. Her mind kept repeating Eddie's reaction to the date and she wonders if he was jealous?

No. It couldn't be that, there was no way. Perhaps he was just concerned as a friend?

Yeah, that must be it.

Turning her attention back to Danny and their second date she lets him kiss her and hopes it distracts her from those annoying racing thoughts of hers.

Well that's what she hoped but she didn't see Eddie walk into the diner and freeze on the spot as he saw Danny kissing her and then move to nibble at her shoulder.

Right, where Eddie's bite mark was.

Eddie meanwhile was stunned as he watched the pair. Up until Danny reached the spot on her shoulder where he had drank from her.

That's when Eddie's self-control snapped and it was on a very thin thread, to begin with.

Without thinking he walks over to the table and Danny who hears him approach and smirks at him.

"Anything you want Munson?" the sheer stupidity of the douche to be all smug makes Eddie's mood darken.

"I'd like to talk to yn for a start" he focuses his attention on her and she is watching him with a strange expression on her face- like she can't work him out.

Join the club sweetheart.

"She's busy" Danny insists stubbornly and a growl slips from Eddie's throat which makes Danny freeze the color draining from his features and yn looks up at him furious.

"I haven't made things clear dude. Leave" Danny whimpers then scampers away and he can feel the anger roll of yn in waves.

She storms out and he follows her, she gets in his van and won't speak to him until they are at his trailer and then she unleashes hell on him.

"Edward Munson! How dare you crash my date and scare him into leaving?" Eddie is distracted for a second by how beautiful she looks when she's mad, she's always been beautiful and now he is just noticing how much?

Great work there Eddie.

"The dude is a pussy and he isn't good enough for you" it's apparently the wrong thing to say as she gets even madder and her eyes spark dangerously.

"You frightened him half to death with that stupid growl! Coming in acting like some caveman and all-alpha male, it wasn't right"

"I wasnt... She cuts him off.

"Oh yes, you were! What business is it of yours who I date or kiss?" Eddie glares at her and he snorts.

"That boy could never please you princess" she walks right up to him and is fuming.

"Listen here, Eddie. You. Don't. Own. Me' she punctuates each word and then takes a breath calming down... slightly.

"I decide who I want to please me, not you. I don't know why you care so much since I'm just a blood bag to you. A happy meal on legs"

That is the thing that breaks the anger in the air and she turns away from him, theres tears in her eyes.

"Sweetheart" he doesn't know what to say to this because at first, he didn't know her well, she was just a friend of Steve's who he was just beginning to learn about for a month or so.

Then their arrangement started and he made sure she knew it was just that- an arrangement.

Still, he got to know her and considered her a friend. Not a blood bag.

"That's not what I think at all" he tells her furious and she turns around and faces him.

"Oh really? Is that why you showed up at the diner? For blood. Well fine" she tugs off her jacket and she's wearing a figure-hugging dress that erases all thoughts from his mind.

Her chest is heaving and he swallows as she uses her nail to create a thin cut right above her chest.

"Well go on then! Drink and then I'll leave since that's all I'm good for" she snaps and he races towards her using his vampiric speed and traps her up against the wall.

"You shouldn't have done that" he drawls and then he is kissing her and fireworks go off in his head.

When has a kiss ever felt this good? she moans into his mouth and he groans feeling how hard he is just by kissing her.

💞💞

Eddie's lips are on hers and she kisses him back fiercely, both fight for dominance until he presses her flush against his chest and his fingers disappear between her thighs and begin to tease her aching core.

"So wet already sweetheart" he coos and she whimpers in desire and their clothes fall to the floor as they tear each others off.

Any coherent thought leaves her mind the minute that her naked body entwines with Eddie's and all she can think about is kissing every single inch of him.

The chemistry between them is electric and she can't get enough of the way his lips feel on her body, that wicked tongue.

"Eddie" she mewls desperate to feel him inside her and he winks at her, he slides into her his expression blissful.

"You're so tight, baby, so perfect. Mine" he grunts and she tightens around him slowly growing used to the feel of him deep inside her.

The moans that fill the room as he begins to move are sinful and she can barely hold back her orgasm as Eddie asks her too.

"Eddie, I can't hold back for much longer, I'm so close" his thrusts quicken and she moves along with him kissing him hungrilly.

"Fuck" Eddie shouts and his hands tighten around her wrists, his eyes flash deep red and he sinks his teeth into her neck as they both experience a mindblowing orgasm.

He sucks at her blood greedily then moves down to the cut on her chest lapping at the smear of blood.

The feeling of it has her teetering towards her second orgasm and she almost blacks out from the pleasure.

Eddie cuts his hand and lets her feed off him and the cuts on her body heal. She cuddles up close to him and he peers down at her.

"I hope you don't think we are finished beautiful?" he croons softly and she stares up at him stunned and soon turns into a moaning mess as his thumb rubs her sensitive clit.

"I plan to have my wicked way with you all night" all night? Her heart speeds up at the thought and heat pools in her lower stomach.

"As you wish handsome" she grins and kisses him again.

💖💖

Eddie wakes up before yn does and watches her sleep for a few seconds. Everything feels so right, last night was the most mindblowing night of his life and now he knows he wants to be with yn he isn't wasting a second.

What a dumbass he is, he should have seen it from the start. Without hesitation, he gets dressed and heads over to Chrissy's for a long overdue talk.

It turns out that when he admits that he sees Chrissy as just a friend she feels the exact way about him.

It turns out she has been falling for Gareth and he urges her to tell him how she feels knowing Gareth has always had a crush on Chrissy.

Then he heads back to his and finds yn still sleeping, he strips naked and climbs back into bed kissing her hair.

She stirs and smiles kissing him softly and then snuggling into his chest while he tells her that he told Chrissy that he just wants to be friends.

When she hears about Chrissy's crush on Gareth she beams.

"How sweet! They will make such a sweet couple" she bites her lip and trails little circles around his chest.

"So are we together now Eddie?" he nods and kisses her forehead.

"Yes, I'm sorry it took you going on a date with a douche for me to realize my feelings sweetheart but I plan to make it up to you, my beautiful girl"

Her eyes widen.

"Shit! I have to speak to Danny and a least apologize for last night" he huffs and pulls her back into bed.

"No, stay" she relents just a little bit and then smiles wickedly.

"So I shouldn't take him out for a friendly coffee and apologize?" he knows she is teasing but his reaction is still the same.

Growling he pins her beneath him and kisses her until she is breathless.

"You. Are. Mine" he says each word between kisses and she giggles.

"Happily. So what was it you were saying about making things up to me?" he grins and captures his lips with hers.

[oddeyes588]

gOD I'm eating so well today... we're finally getting some good characterization for Ruri and Rin... hell, it's incredible that we're getting some characterization for them AT ALL. I'm gonna ramble about it.

Ruri. Oh Ruri... it's genuinely so funny seeing her complete contrast with Yuto and Shun, who have all the dark and broodiness that comes with being characters who've been sharpened by the harsh edges of war. Yuto is in a bit of a middle-ground compared to Shun, but Ruri sits on the complete opposite end of the spectrum to her brother.

She's very chill and sweet, in stark contrast to Shun's tendency for rage and violence. Hell, she's the only one of the Xyz Trio who ISN'T glaring constant daggers at Dennis. She's sympathetic, and this goes in line with what we already knew about her. Having received the same teachings from Yusho as Yuya, she's pacifistic and hates the violent dueling that destroyed her home, as it's not what dueling is meant to be.

While Yuto and Shun get understandably hardened in order to do what is necessary to survive, Ruri doesn't want to lose what she loved about her home, and as such tries to maintain it. It's not like she let everything that happened slide off her back, she still has fear for Academia, but she's readily sympathetic, and it's honestly very sweet to see. While Yuto and Shun are still trying to adjust into the process of healing, Ruri is ready to dive in headfirst, because that's exactly what she was waiting for the whole time.

Basically, for having seen the Horrors of War, Ruri is handling herself remarkably well.

And at last... Rin. Rin is hilarious in a few ways, but to start with a more serious note...

It truly does speak to how good of a place Heartland was versus how shit of a place the City was from the get-go, because out of the two, Rin is somehow the more traumatized one? Not that anyone can blame her, since she grew up in a Capitalist Dystopia where you can be arrested and sent to a "correctional facility" indefinitely for the crime of, uh, trespassing on the property of the rich. Oh, and at the age of 14, too! Rin is often scared and fully ready to choose violence over it. Honestly, the idea that Rin's automatic reaction to somebody lunging out at her is to drive her knee into their stomach makes way too much sense... and it really speaks as to how little brain cells Yugo has that he doesn't learn his lesson, and keeps trying to hug her out of nowhere.

But with that said... god I love Rin, actually. Despite Yugo's inability to learn why you don't suddenly glomp somebody, she's got exactly the amount of "he's an idiot, but he's MY idiot" energy that we expected... by which I mean she has an ABSURD amount of that energy. She cares about Yugo just as much as he cares about her, though she shows it via the very hilarious method of affectionately dragging him at every opportunity.

And it's actually so great. I love her. Anyways! It's also neat to see how her overall focus is actually on a much smaller scale compared to everyone else. Yuzu has—or rather, had—obviously she asks about her home, asks how the Synchro Dimension is doing... and she's happy to hear that it's finally on the right track. But while the other three girls are somewhat vested in the fate of the universe(s), the state of their home, etc... Rin seems to focus a lot harder on the fact that she missed the Friendship Cup on account of being kidnapped at the time.

And while yes, there's a hint of tragedy to that considering that the losers of that particular tournament are all sent to an underground work facility to be worked until they die...

...her being lowkey SUPER competitive is a delight.

[calamaroo]

HEAR ME OUT‼️

Viking/Pagan AU :

‼️Disclaimer : all references to the religious aspects of this au are meant in an appreciative and embracing way, I have no hate for any forms of paganism. I think it's sick as hell, respectfully.‼️

HHHHRRRGGGGG

I've had the idea of the Octonauts being Norse seafaring warriors and mystics for a WHILE, and it's part of the reason I haven't drawn much : it's all I wanna draw but feel guilty for making too many au's. STILL, I love this au, it is my baby, and expect more of it. Vikings are my Greek mythology/roman empire, if ya know what I mean ;))

SOME BASIC LORE :

Shellington is like a shaman-type mystic (wasn't really modern style science back then, so the closest thing was magic) and he does things like cleanses, rituals, and other such magical things. He's not a healer like Peso, but can give magical healing. He doesn't often, and more focuses on perfecting his communication with the gods/spirits and using their gifts to protect the other Octonauts during battle.

Kwazii is a Berserker Warrior (which in real life, there is no evidence of them taking drugs to go berserk, but for this au, cuz it's funny, he does. He's a shroom lover) -- he's still Barnacles's second in command (I'm still researching Viking social structures, so that may shift around)

Kwazii and Shellington are together in this au (cuz i can not be stopped), and Shellington is always sure to give Kwazii the most magical blessings and protection. He doesn't want his boyfriend to get hurt/die, so romantic

KWAZII WITH CURLY DREADS HELLO????? HELL YES!!! HES SO FUCKING PRETTY, SAVE SOME GENDER FOR ME!!!!!! I WANT HIS HAIR IRL!!!!!!

Lemme know if yall fw Viking/Pagan AU, and even if you don't, imma keep at it cuz its fire 🔥

[exo-raskreia]

Thoughts on 261 & More Utahime Potential Ideas

WARNING: MAX COPIUM + MANGA SPOILERS

Ok, I know everyone's been losing it lately. I tried to keep calm when the 261 leaks dropped. I'm very disappointed & shocked as well (Gojo... ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡ ).

However... The latest developments have also caused me to ascend to a higher state in Delulu Land & this is my hardest cope yet.

First off, it seems to be implied that Gojo chose to become a monster by killing the higher-ups, thinking that he was finally going as far as (stooping as low as) Geto did for his ideals, but didn't want his students to see. And yet, they wanted to be there with him, not wanting him to carry the burden of becoming a monster alone—they would too by going through with the Horrible Plan™. So, miss me with that "Gojo wanted to die & reunite with his best friend" nonsense. There is too much at stake here & Gojo gave his all for his students and allies. Yuuta is currently risking his life too, for his friends & to carry Gojo's burden (let's go a little easier on him, guys, & Maki too, since she was against this plan; mainly for Yuuta, but still. Hakari looked disturbed too...).

This whole thing's a mess, though. What is Gege doing? Why hype up Gojo only to reveal such a horrible plan? Is he playing with us 'cause he's a sadistic freak or could it be there's something more to it? That he's setting up for something else? I've mentioned this before, but could it be that Gojo is truly meant to return at a crucial moment? When all hope seems lost? As it did feel a bit random to reappear during Todo & Yuuji's fight...

WARNING: Harry Potter spoilers!

Nitta must've stopped any further bleeding from Gojo's brain & Yuuta's body, so he, Shoko, & Amai must be keeping them healed & safe. I wonder if they're keeping an eye on the possibility Gojo could regain consciousness. I once mentioned this in a Tweet, but could Gojo be in a similar state as Harry Potter after getting hit by the Killing Curse, seemingly "dead" but actually in a state of limbo where he had met Dumbledore's soul in a place resembling King's Cross Station?

In Gojo's case, he's at an airport where he met his dead comrades (whether it's actually them or just Gojo dreaming, is uncertain; if he is dreaming, then wouldn't that mean he's still alive?). He's given a choice to metaphorically "board a plane" north or south, to return as someone new or to stay as he is. In the Buddhist-inspired JJK verse, north could mean enlightenment, so will Gojo choose that path, as many have theorized? It's uncertain if going north means choosing to live and/or ascending to a higher state (godhood), & if going south means straight up dying/reincarnating or simply returning to his misunderstood self, but I hope Gojo chooses whichever is best for his return. One that will possibly make him stronger but finally gaining a new perspective that will break the barrier between himself & others? Or maybe weaker but finally able to fight alongside the others (especially if he makes a Binding Vow)?

As such, Gojo's body was healed by both Shoko & Yuuta, & since his head had remained intact & on his body throughout the whole ordeal—which is required for RCT to work—could it be he could regain consciousness at some point with his own RCT? Yuuta only has 5 minutes to fight in Gojo's body but it's unknown what would happen once they are up. There are the risks he could die or stay stuck in Gojo's body, both of which are atrocious. However, in order to survive, could Ui Ui do a soul swap before the 5min mark, if/when Gojo revives? Or could it be both souls would automatically switch back? Either way, if the danger is out of the way, would Shoko then be able to perform the operation again to switch their brains back?

However, do the sorcerers really think they can defeat Sukuna in less than 5mins before Yuuta's back to the operating table? This is so convoluted, so I'm not sure how this would go. 😥

Anyway, I've been delulu theorizing Utahime could really have an important role in the Shinjuku Showdown arc here and here for a while now, whether it's to help in Gojo's revival or something else. Even with this latest shocking development, my ideas still stand.

Once again, neither Utahime, Ijichi, & Gakuganji were present at the strategy meetings in the flashbacks, especially the one with the Horrible Plan™. While Gojo wasn't present either for said plan, he was informed of it later & he commented he didn't intend to lose, so he didn't really care what would happen to his corpse anyway. This could mean that Utahime & the others were later informed too but at that point, it may have been too late to stop it. Maybe that's why Utahime had that somber expression in chapter 222. She knew what could happen and DID NOT agree with it, so while everyone was cheering Gojo on with happy expressions, she wasn't. I wonder if she had expressed her disagreement to Gojo right before meeting up with the others or something, as this other panel still makes me curious.

Gege didn't have to include her here but he did. She looks nervous... I once made a silly post on both GojoHime panels in chapter 222 here.

Anyway, Ijichi wasn't even present which is kind of strange while Gakuganji is typically so serious anyway.

At this point, one's inclined to believe that maybe they really were up to something else. It's too suspicious and obvious that these 4 were not a part of any of the important strategy meetings with the other sorcerers. It seems deliberate on Gege's part. Which is why these new delulu ideas come into play.

MAX COPIUM FROM THIS POINT ON.

Shoko has shocked us all with her very blasé attitude about the Horrible Plan™, that even Gojo said he was hurt annoyed by it. Either she was bottling it all up (she really did seem worried during the battle...), fully trusted Gojo in not losing (but she should've assured him?), or maybe, just maybe, there's a tiny possibility that she's hiding something. Could she have another plan?

Whether she does or not, Shoko is not part of my delulu ideas this time. I'm done. I had mostly brought her up before because of the possibilities & how much others hyped her up for it, but my delusions have always mainly revolved around Utahime. Shoko thankfully did her part already by helping heal Gojo's body & now it's Utahime's turn to take care of the rest.

Sure, Gojo could return on his own through a Binding Vow and/or his own RCT that should be working again, but as I brought up before in my first aforementioned delulu post, what if Utahime boosts his RCT to quicken and strengthen it? Nice and simple, right?

Or, what if Utahime's singing will finally come into play? As I also mentioned before, what if Gojo can hear her in the limbo & will be guided back by her voice? Like the luring of a siren? Will she call him by (first) name? Shrine maidens can summon spirits & gods, so if that applies to the JJK verse, could Utahime perform a ritual to reach & summon Gojo's soul? Especially if he chooses enlightenment? Now, I would hope this wouldn't be a temporary thing...like he returns to help one last time before departing to the heavens in a godhood state or something. Oh, Gege, u better not...

What if her singing does have healing abilities? But even more crazily, what if they're not physical, but spiritual? Could Utahime restore both Gojo's & Yuuta's souls to their bodies? Could she help Yuuta's soul remain safe once the 5mins are up?

For all this to happen, Utahime would have to be in the medical room. Where is she currently? Is she on her way? Is she still out on the battlefield possibly boosting the remaining sorcerers (well, hardly anyone left, tbh)? If she's headed to the medical room with the intent to help Gojo, I imagine it'd shock Shoko & the others. Would they know what she intends or not? Would they think it's possible? Would they try to stop her?

This is super insane & bordering on headcanon (lol, I warned you), but wouldn't it be amazing if she could have possibly managed to achieve Domain Expansion during her long absence in the manga post-Shibuya? What if it was kept a secret from all? What if as soon as Gojo laid his Six Eyes on her after his unsealing, he knew? What if that's one of the things they were cultivating, planning around, during the time-skip? Could it have offensive abilities involving her voice, like a siren? Like maybe she can make the enemy do her bidding or de-buff them? What if it's the opposite & instead has healing/buffing abilities? Any ally inside it would be in a state of max HP? Now, whether she would use it to actually heal Gojo or in combat, who knows.

I once read a wonderful one-shot fic in which Utahime achieved DE by finally accepting everything about herself, which included her suppressed feelings for Gojo. I know it's fully delulu but do we really know Utahime's full abilities? How is she a Semi-Grade 1 sorcerer if she can only buff (unless her CT is seen as good enough to warrant the rank)? Come on, Gege, stop wasting her character potential.

Remember that Sukuna still hasn't been taught about love? Based on Yorozu's version of it, his idea of love is to become vulnerable enough to connect with others & not feel lonely anymore by being defeated in battle; basically, get humbled, lol. He thought only Gojo could teach him how to overcome the barrier between himself & others deemed weak. But how would that be now, if Gojo's possibly in a state of limbo? (Is it another hint to his return?) The only other people that could possibly teach Sukuna are pure-hearted souls like Yuuji or Yuuta, the latter whom has also experienced romantic love. However, Yuuta just "discarded" his humanity by choosing to become a "monster", so Sukuna may throw that in his face. Taunt him & the other sorcerers for going against their ideals to defeat him.

What if it's not one person, but multiple that will teach Sukuna? Nakama power, y'all. What if Utahime could be one of those? She's the most pure-hearted sorcerer besides Yuuji. Her love for her students, helping Gojo whenever he asked despite her "hate" towards him, her not getting that Mei was asking for money to promote her in S2E1 (and Mei didn't even push it as if knowing Uta would never agree), her not being informed about the assassination attempt on Yuuji at the Goodwill Event by Gakuganji & her students (not even by Gojo, who suspected something), & she wasn't even present at the meeting for the brain switch plan...

It's like Utahime is being protected and/or her comrades know that she would never support all this immorality. She's a selfless person, often seen risking her life or attempting to for others in her little screentime. Not to mention that her CT is literally named after a love song. If romantic love were to be addressed at all in this fight, besides Yuuta, could Utahime play a role there? Her giving her all to help Gojo while Gojo had done his all to protect her during his fight with Sukuna? (You know, since it's still too sus that Sukuna doesn't know about her CT... Gojo entrusted Ijichi, the man he trusts the most, to keep Utahime safe for her ritual...)

I've talked about this image before but I may have discovered something interesting: the Angel Number 3612. Gojo's revival could be on the horizon... I elaborate in this post.

(Shoutout to some other amazing theories out there on Utahime's potential in helping Gojo. As a shrine maiden here & here, or even as Buddha's wife here, for example. These are seeming more & more plausible to me now, since Gege mercilessly threw a wrench at us in 261... I'm coping hard).

Having a plan unrelated to Gojo's revival is still possible. One thing I've seen thrown around is what if Utahime & team will try to stop the merger? If we go with the idea that Utahime has healing abilities for spirits, could it be that she could help restore Tengen's soul or something, like at least bring her back to her previous state before Kenjaku took over? Help her regain consciousness if she lost it? (FULL DELULU, I KNOW).

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Utahime's only a minor side character, I know that 😮‍💨. Her having such an important role & any other formidable abilities may seem like a reach, but at this point, I need something to hold onto. I don't wanna lose hope like several others have. It's hard but... As long as it's not 100% confirmed that Gojo's dead, then there is still hope... There's still so much we don't know... His choice of north & south is still up in the air, his answer to Geto's old question, his reaction to everything that happened during his time in the Prism Realm, what happened in the Prism Realm, what he did during the one month time-skip... Gege, come on...

The fact Sukuna still doesn't know about Utahime's CT is something I can hold onto, right? I will ride this wave until it crashes onshore.

[nanomooselet]

Stampede Plant Talk

#if you want to add the rest of your points please do!

Do you realise what you've unleashed.

Not to ruin the magic, but when I write my analyses it's often inspired by visuals. So I figured the best place to start would be with this visual. Like... that's simple, isn't it?

I thought, obviously blue is Knives's colour while Vash's is red. Healthy Plants glow blue, dying ones dim to red. It would seem blue is for Plants and red is for humans. And so clearly Knives is aligned with the Plants, and embracing his Plantness, while Vash is more human and thus aligned with humanity… right?

Yeah, no.

Truthfully if there's a definitive visual motif for the twins, it's not expressed in terms of something that dualistic. But that's a little outside the scope of this post.

A dependent, Vash says, needs a human to take care of it, or the Plant just uses its energy up all at once and dies. I'm guessing that means: what a Plant will produce, when and in what quantity is in the hands of the technician programming it. Being Independent means a Plant has all that under personal control. They all produce different kinds of energy and matter (which are, in a complicated scientific way, the same thing in different states). They are essentially living generators - machines.

They're still made out of meat, though. For some reason. (They do look like sea creatures, and the higher plane is very oceanic in appearance.)

Having the Plant produce more than its Gate can withstand producing means it's left only with the energy reserves of its body to sustain it. The Last Run harvests that energy. Resembles very very rapidly developing dehydration - eyes bulging, skin blackening, skin tightening. It's a very ugly way to die. Their bulbs go red, and then go dark, because the fluid they're in is clouded with blood. The same is true of when they're cut off from the higher plane because they're been overworked.

Dr. Conrad said to Knives that these Plants couldn't be healed in the way Knives demanded of him, and I think he's being truthful. Because Vash also didn't heal the Plant at Jeneora Rock.

In the pictures above, they're at the "terminal stage"; using them any more would push it into a Last Run. Note the colour. Red as blood.

These are the ones Vash does heal. More pink than red, lighter - brighter.

Vash isn't donating energy to a Plant when he heals it; the ones aboard Ship 3 weren't dying because they were overworked or injured. The SEEDS fleet didn't make use of the Last Run, nor did they have to rely on a dwindling number of Plants to survive. They were in deep space on a journey taking hundreds of years, with all those people whose cryosleep had to be maintained. They weren't in crisis. They were planning for a long journey to build a better world at their destination, not a crash. Plants that glow blue/white are healthy. It was paradise; no one had to struggle to survive.

Luida says the problem with these Plants is that they aren't compatible with the environment they're in, and she is a geo-Plant specialist. I believe her.

Vash's super special healing power? The job only he can do? Vash is not being made to act like a battery, giving up his lifeforce to keep everyone else alive. He's not sacrificing himself. That's what Knives assumed, because that's all he sees humans do. (A whole one time before he started killing people.)

Plants do communicate with sound, but not in a frequency humans seem capable of hearing and I suspect it's because they use their Gates. Dependent Plants - and Knives - can only produce a sound. Their Gates are one-way.

Vash's Gate is two-way. He can both produce and receive. He can exchange.

He can have a dialogue.

He's hearing the Plants when they cry out for help then just... going to talk with them. Understanding them. Helping them feel more comfortable. Keeping them company. When Luida asked him so kindly to be a counsellor for the Plants, she said what she meant and she meant what she said.

Vash is a Plant therapist. And he's a good one! He travelled everywhere accompanied by his stepdad just… being kind to humans and Plants, looking after them, teaching them how to take care of each other. And he loves doing it. It's the happiest he looks after the Fall. Brad even tells him, in a very Brad kind of way, that he's done a great job; travelling with this brat beats what it was like just after the crash. And then he gives Vash water and Vash tells him he's a nice guy (and Brad gets offended lmao).

The one who assumes the humans were hurting or using him was as per fucking usual Millions Knives! Because that gives him an excuse to take bloody revenge! And everybody fell for his bullshit! Man, I'm beginning to think when Studio Orange directed Austin Tindle to make Knives sound villainous, they made the right decision.

Now, if you want to be sad?

Vash is doing so much good. He loves doing it. He's the only one who can.

But Rem wanted to see Plants and humans understand each other and she's gone. Vash is fulfilling her dream, but he's doing it alone.

Now compare the colour of his coat to the colour of the Plants. Which matches more closely? The ones who are forced to work beyond their capacity, their bodies gruesomely and horribly used without their consent for the benefit of humans?

Or the ones in emotional distress?

[vaya-is-dead]

Hour two of my delusional city

Let's talk about Timebomb

* arcane act three spoilers under the cut don't read it if you haven't watched it you have been warned*

HOUR ONE HERE FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE

*Note* I am not personally a Timebomb fan. I don't really care for it, but I think there is a lot of nuance that can go with it, especially considering that it happens in an alternate universe.

As a sidenote to the whole jinx might be alive thing. I wanted to touch upon the now sort of canon ship TimeBomb. I say sort of purely because it became real in an AU.

I see a lot of people complaining about it, becoming Canon, but I think this is a good demonstration for Ekko and Jinx as characters.

Think about it this way, in the AU there is no jinx, there is only Powder. Everyone but Vi lived. This means, specifically for Jinx, she didn't have to go through some of the most traumatizing events in her life. This allowed her to fully become who she was probably meant to be. A brilliant young woman named Powder with ideas that would change the world.

In the main timeline, Ekko and Jinx are at odds there is no room for the relationship that could've developed to be there. Even after the fact, after Ekko talking to jinx and convincing her to do one final strike with the fireflight (think the name might be wrong. Please excuse it.) Jinx is still extremely traumatized and at this point, her goal is to make sure her remaining family, Vi , to be happy. in her mind that means without her.

So I think Ekko and Jinx would never work, at least not with an intense amount of therapy or self-discovery for Jinx.

But as we see in the AU, it works with powder.

Powder is what jinx could've been, had given the chance to live a normal life. She still has the same sass and charm, but instead of it being a coping mechanism, it becomes just something that naturally is a part of her personality. She is still deeply hurt by the loss of her sister, but she has the network to cope and to heal while still remembering her, which gives her the room for a romantic relationship in her life.

And as for Ekko, there is a flashback to a time where he actually killed jinx on the bridge but he rewinded time (it might've been a hallucination too, so correct me if I'm wrong)was this just reaffirm that he still cares for her and hasn't given up on her like he's so claims to. It is a show of his compassion for others and for the cause that he fights for. There is also the parallels between season one episode seven "boy Savior" which gave us the fight scene of The fireflight against Vi and jinx which gave us older Ekko, and episode seven of season two which gives us an explanation for where he's been for majority of season two.

On a sidenote, I also wanted to add that I think the talk with Ekko, made jinx realize that Isha sacrificed herself for her to live. And I like to think that maybe somewhere in her mind, she thinks that it would've done a disservice to Isha's sacrifice for her to die. (yes this is relating back to my delusional our number one theory.)

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 6

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: I couldn't resist posting this so close to the other part. I'd say I'm sorry for the slight cliff hanger.... But I'm not. Also I've started writing some of the stuff around threshing, what do you guys think Ophelia's signet should be? What dragon will she have? Also what should we make Garrick's signet? I've seen a few theories on his being pain due to his dragons name, and honestly kinda leaning towards it. As per usual if you want to be on the tag list let me know! And if you guys have any prompts or ideas for small little one off stories/one shots, please pop them in my asks! Would love to give some other ideas a go. Probably leaning more towards our rebellion boys (Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi and Liam), but happy to give some others a go.

The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

Garrick leans against the wall at the end of the bed, his hazel eyes watching me like a hawk. He hadn’t take his eyes off me since scooping me off the floor. I’m a little disappointed he managed to put a shirt on before bringing me here. I could have used the view while the healer works at cleaning the blood off my face and mending my nose. Every time I flinch or wince as the healer works, I swear I see Garrick’s hand twitch as if wanting to reach out and stop her. The healer walks away to get me some healing balm to take with me to help the last of my nose heal and to help with any bruising that may decide to show up. As she rounds the corner, Garrick pushes off the wall and pulls up a chair next to my bed. He reaches up and tilts my head towards him with his right hand. His eyes assessing my face and the work the healer has done. When he’s satisfied I’ve been healed adequately his eyes meet mine. His hand still lingering on my face.

”You two really did a number on each other.” He says with a chuckle.

”You finally going to tell me what the hell is up with you and Imogen.” I say more aggressively that I intend.

Garrick flinches at my words and his moves his hand from my cheek to his lap as he looks down and starts to fidget with this hands. Some of his dark curls falling in front of his eyes. Definitely not the response he was expecting from me.

“I promise you there is nothing going on-”

”Bullshit.” I spit out cutting him off mid sentence.

He looks up at me shocked and almost scared. Something I can safely say I’ve never seen from Garrick towards me. Granted I don’t think I’ve used that kind of tone towards him before in the entire time I’ve known Garrick, which is pretty much my entire life. He hangs his head and goes back to fidgeting with his hands, the chair creaking under his weight as he moves around. Clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“For me there’s nothing going on with her. We hooked up a few times, but that was it.” He admits, his shoulders sagging with the confession before looking back up at me with sad eyes that almost plead forgiveness from me. “But I made it clear I wanted nothing serious. But it is becoming clear those hook ups meant more to her than just something casual.”

”You never struck me as the casual hook up type.” I admit to him.

He slowly nods in agreement before looking away again, intently focused on his hands again. “Honestly I’m not. But there are times while you are here where you just need someone. And the person I needed. The person I wanted more than just a casual hook up with.” His eyes flick up to mine, and I swear my heart stops as if I know what’s coming. “Well I kind of thought they were dead till recently.”

His words come out so quietly I barely hear them. But I do. My heart rate starts to pick up as his words sink in and silence falls around us as we just stare into each others eyes. There is no doubt that Garrick meant me. It’s not like anyone else has come back from the dead recently. Garrick who I spent most of my child hood and teenage years crushing over, has just confessed they feel the same way and all I can do is sit here and stare at him like a deer about to get torched by a dragon. And I’m sure my face probably looks similar to that deer right now. His words start to sink in as he stares at me hopefully. His eyes pleading at me to say something. Say anything back to him. But I can’t. All I can do is stare at him in shock, despite wanting to hear this exact confession from him for years.

At that moment the healer comes back with the healing balm, completely oblivious to the tension in the small closed off area. “Here you go lovely, just apply it to any bruising as it appears.” She says sweetly as she hands it to me.

I tear my gaze from Garrick as I stand and take the healing balm from her, before quickly walking out of the room. I hear the chair Garrick was sitting on scrape against the floor. As soon as I’m out the door I take off. I vaguely hear Garrick call my name as I run back to the riders quadrant.

Part 7

Tag List: @riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99

[butwhatifidothis]

I LOVED To Be a Creature, and it genuinely creeped me out to see the things Edelgard and Hubert said to Byleth (though it's the same as the game, stripped out of its voice acting and background music, the dialogue is so much more horrifying). Really makes me wonder if Edelgard's love for Byleth is genuine in any way. Do you think there's any real love there or is it just obsession?

Thank you!!! I had a feeling that placing Edelgard and Hubert's words in a context that isn't meant to make them look flattering would really let their casual racism shine, and I'm glad it's seeming like that is in fact the impression people are getting lol. SO sorry for the late answer btw 😭😭😭

As for whether Edelgard's love is genuine... I got opinions lmao.

got a bit long lmao under the cut it goes

If Edelgard felt the way she does for Byleth on exclusively SS and CF, I could maybe see how this is a "genuine" love (insofar as a love steeped in "I may hate your race but you're special and Not Like The Other Ones because I think you're special to me" can, uh, ever be genuine, in any case). But because Edelgard still feels as strongly towards Byleth on AM and VW where she quite literally never talks to them directly in any meaningful way, it becomes waaaaay more like she's just weirdly obsessed with this person who saved her one singular time ever five years ago from an attack Edelgard set up. It makes the "love" way more forced and contrived and obviously trying to squeeze tears out of the player for standing up against the cute girly trying to murder them. Or, alternatively, it makes Edelgard come off as manipulative, saying that she just wanted to walk with Byleth and it makes her so sad to HAVE to fight Byleth because BYLETH wouldn't stand by HER - and she's saying this on AM/VW to a person she's talked to in conversation a cumulative, what? Hour? Two? Maybe a few days, being nice? Over the course of, being as absolutely generous as physically possible and not counting the five years Byleth was missing... two fucking years? She's shitting herself over fighting this stranger she doesn't fucking know? Yeah, sure buddy, whatever you say - you see what I mean?

And honestly even outside of those two routes, I think it's more that she sees Byleth as being hers rather than actually liking them for who they are. A body to stand next to her and tell her how right she is and comfort her - who doesn't have the background of "I was literally raised to think this is my only purpose in life" muddying the sincerity of the brown-nosing - who also happens to also act as The Perfect Fighter and The Perfect Strategist to actively help her get what she wants. That view of Byleth being a tool doesn't really go away unless they marry her, seen by how they quite literally get nothing for all they've done for Edelgard should they go unmarried to a noble (guess they just weren't meritable enough once their use to her was done).

As well as how much more Edelgard doesn't like Byleth disagreeing with her or otherwise going against her flow than pretty much anyone else in the game - you lose supports points if you don't think the Black Eagle Strike Force name she made is good, she quickly denies the notion that Byleth is detached from others/emotions and insists they are just like she is, she gives them the same callous and thoughtless words she was apparently given once in her life while they are in the midst of mourning their recently murdered father so that they get over it already and get back to being useful to her (directly saying she will only reach out her hand when it's time for HER to move forward, not when BYLETH heals from WATCHING THEIR DAD DIE IN THEIR FUCKING ARMS MAYBE A WEEK AGO). She never treats Byleth kindly unless they do everything she wants, which like. Isn't love???? At all????

There's just this... weirdly possessive air Edelgard has around Byleth that always threw me off, especially with how easily she admits to have been willing to kill them so far into CF and how readily she cuts ties with them the second the fighting's done (which is particular because how just how clingy she was to Byleth everywhere else - you know during all that time Byleth had a use to her). Incorporating that into being an intentional part of her character is certainly interesting, but not in a way that's flattering to the idea of Edelgard genuinely being in love with Byleth lmao.

Personally tho, even disregarding almost everything else, the simple explanation is that I don't think you can really sit there and say you love someone while openly hating part of their racial heritage. Wild thought, I know lmao