#what if i talk about my oc like theyre from something
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.that bitch Ryosuke Kurosawa
#ocs#my art#pigeon's funny oc moment#what if i talk about my oc like theyre from something#ryosuke from pigeon's brain#he smells like rain water#oh right that outfit on the left is from dragon raja#outfits that go hard
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They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.
#my characters#haha funny thing is that venus doesnt even exist in base plot she is ONLY for AUs#in base plot ego the ginger guy is a prince and serenity the navy haired guy is an energy alien#and serenity takes on the form of a human to be fake engaged to ego and its never meant to actually end up with them married#but serenity falls in love with the prince and feels immense guilt when they meet up#and then ego is like HAHA YEAH my life is the greatest cause i get to marry my best friend but technically youre best friend by default#since i have zero other friends because i cannot leave the castle which kinda sucks but whatever#and serenity can give his life force to others to keep them healthy and usually stops by to heal egos younger brother#so he looks tired a lot bc he is depleting his own life to help others#and and in au versions hes just chronically tired and very much in love with ego who is completely oblivious#and half the time they (bc theyre mine) are pining mutually thinking ahaha theres no WAY hed like me#or in egos case a lot of the time in the au its what if he only likes me cause i spoil him rotten bc im super wealthy and i love gifting#and serenity ! in base plot since he is an alien from like... space.... basically... another realm#he resides with another royal family in a different kingdom and the king there treats him like a son#which plays into the au versions where serenity is adopted and he just really loves his dad a lot#like really admires the man who adopted him and raised him as a single father who almost always has a connection to egos dad since#in base theyre just two kings being buddies and trying to get good relations between their kingdoms#but anyway ego is one of the few ocs i have that will actively say#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH : D very openly and i love that for him??#not a lot of my ocs will be that open about their feelings but ego is very good at communication and talking and stuff#compared to serenity who is an alien who doesnt even have to talk where he originated bc the aliens are just blue energy blobs#and they sense each other and communicate silently#so making him take a human form is like MMMM not sure how to interact like a normal human tbh#i owe art to one person then i am able to get back to indulgent stuff for me and reqs and stuff#this was just so i had something to post today since idk if the art i owe someone will be cool to post or not
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I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please
#and before anyone suggests it: no i cant try to get into streaming#the way i play video games is extremely frustrating for other people to watch ahdjsksl#no one is going to give me money for producing a video where i spend two hours checking every barrel in the map while juggling my inventory#and then immediately give up on a puzzle and just sit in silence for 30 minutes while i look up a walkthrough instead#i need a situation that pays me $200 a day just to be autistic at the screen alone in the comfort of my own home#rambling#a few years ago i made it a mission to play all of the dragon age games and dlcs in order and i did not complete it#i got all the way to inquisition before i quit#i had already played it on ps3 but i wanted to replay on my new gaming laptop and unfortunately my computer decided it was too complicated#and also i just wanted to play as an elf again and i was resisting that urge bc i played as an elf the first time and wanted something new#so i didnt connect to my character as much#BUT ive learned a lot about optimizing my games from getting bg3 to run on my computer#so i think i could get it to handle dai now. especially if i upgrade to ssd like ive been wanting#and i just saw a dai post on my dash that made me daydream about possible characters and i was struck with inspiration#when i first played through on ps3 i didnt know anything about da lore. it was my first dragon age game#i was just doing whatever i thought seemed coolest#so i basically modeled my inquisitor after my dnd oc and then just picked a vallaslin i thought was pretty#and then when it came time to pick a specialization i was just like 'i mean my hand has rift magic right? seems obvious enough'#but now i know the LORE. and the dalish really interest me. and i want to make an inquisitor thats their own character#i didnt want to replay another elf mage bc i thought it would be too similar#but at the same time i wanted to re-experience dai (and experience trespasser for the first time) now that i knew more about the dalish#(with mods that fix the annoying bits where your character seems to not know about their own religion of course lol...)#i was thinking about that and i just got hit with some inspiration#instead of 'my dnd character but with a cool tattoo and rift magic and they kinda roll with the inquisitor stuff bc idk whats going on'#what if i made a more intentional character with a much different personality and their own backstory#theyre still the first of their clan but i know what that means now so theyre not really into the herald of andraste stuff#theyre a devotee of falon'din with his vallaslin and fittingly choose necromancy specialization (tho theyre annoyed by all the maker talk)#they can look cool and goth and maybe they even make some different choices about the well of sorrows 👀#i could keep rambling but im running out of tags gah#anyways ive got lots of ideas now and i think the playthrough would be unique enough to be worth it
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maxwell and sammy are all mine and i love them like my children but its pretty hard to divorce them from fnaf enough to make them straight up ocs. sammy especially bc hes technically not my oc, even if i made up every aspect about him except his name and dead twin sister
#my point being i keep seeing oc post and going ‘omg me about sammy’ but sammy isnt an oc. technically#i literally wont even change his name if i do ever just make him all mine. i love him sammy is my bff forevers.#sammy smiles real wide and has sharp canines. he cant stand silence and talks to himself CONSTANTLY and its worse around other people#he interrupts people a lot by accident. and is really bad about holding friendships and doesnt reach out to people. after he took max in it#was impossible to shut him up bc someone was actually there now. he has serious trust issues and thinks ppl dont like him bc he thinks#everyone to have some big secret theyre all collectively keeping from him to keep him ‘’safe’’ which stems from. his mom doing this to him#about his sister and dad she just straight up refused to tell him until he found out on his own. so for 11 years he knew that. they for sure#you cant just split up your family in half in a divorce. something seems incredibly wrong about that but he didnt know what actually#happened there. also they were young when she died but he still felt like a part of him went missing and without the knowledge she died he#assumed. hed see her again and fill that hole. and of course that wasnt true. so anyway he struggles to make and keep friends#hes had like 8 different partners who lasted more than a month (most of them didnt want to deal with max) and he cant keep any of them bc a#a lot of people meet this cute charming guy with a lot to say and realize hes literally like this all the time and it stops being cute and#starts being annoying. he wanted to have kids bc he really likes kids but nobody wants him unfortunately and also he had. max for 8 years#and max is for sure his kid (from his perspective max is weird about it bc max thinks of his dad. as his Parent and sammy as more of#brother) but like max was not really what he was thinking when he thought he wanted kids right. and he feels bad about thinking that but#he does. think that. he wants a kid of his own. sammy is a therapist for kids with trauma specifically so that also impacts his ability to#have a kid. he worries that. bc of his personal experience of what Can happen that he may in turn be a helicopter parent or way#overprotective. yknow. he#ive got to go to bed omg. i got enough thoughts down!!!!#simons spouting#a lot of this is just awfully written but you cant read back or edit tags on mobile. not my fault
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GOD LOUISE REGAILIA MAKES ME SO FUCKING INSANE EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT HER I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A MILLION LITTLE PIECES. ITS JJUST LIKE. girls when they havce to kill their former selves in order to survive. girls when the self they take up in turn is constantly destroyed and remade in order to never be attached to one life. girls when the only way they know how to save themself is to lock themself away. girls when they’ve forsaken their home and in turn been forsaken by it. girls when theyre both the abandoner and the abandoned. girls when they think theyre the most sane completely normal one hundred percent hinged person in the world. girls when they already know they didn’t deserve what they went through but can’t imagine a world in which they can heal from it. girls when they won’t let themselves heal because they don’t know who they are without their hurt. because they killed that girl. and theyll keep killing her forever and ever and ever and pretend thats the same as healing her.
#decided to post this drubnkenly adter reblogging that one post . anyway all my tags after this are from whenebvr this draft was first saved#which were all written as though no on ewas actually going to see this. but oyu are all now going to see this. so. deal i guess lmao#me when i post about my ocs as if theyre well known characters even though ive literally never talked to anyone about them#anyway. *hits you with a beam that makes you love louise even though you don't know who she is*#oc tag#n talks#god knows im never going to make qtts into something finished and tangible because i just. man.#its been in my brain for sooooo long and changed sooooo much that i kind of can't even imagine it being like. Real.#im not even sure what a 'finished' version of this story would look like in my ideal world you know.#it was originally conceived as a comic but. mmh. i dont know.#i feel like its so close to my heart and so malleable and intangible that its going to just stay something cobbled together#in pieces of character sheets and random illustrations and worldbuilding notes and unorganized rambling#just. like. forever.#and maybe that's fine! i have other projects that i Can imagine as 'finished' pieces#like nightsparks and ghost puzzles which were conceived as games so have very specific goals#even wolfepress feels more tangible to me because even though it was also conceived as a comic it was done so with a pretty distinct goal#but qtts has always been. like. Big.#which makes it different than any of those but also different from. like. parfait partea which were pretty much Meant to just be#fun characters who wouldn't ever be part of a ~project~#like qtts IS something. but i can't conceptualize what that something IS.#im being dramatic it would jsut be like a comic or a show or something but like in terms of my wmotional connection to working on it#i can't imagine it as something static i guess.#like all those other things i can imagine being. whole. as something a Finish and Publish. and that would be how theyre seen and understood#but with qtts its so. grrrrrrrrr i just can't imagine it being One Singular Thing because its always changing so much .#ok wow this started as gushing abt one character and ended up being a vent about my inability to finish things LMFAO anyway. yeag#LONG POST#sorry i have things. to say
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this is going to sound extremely stupid but i have been thinking for a few days now and. i think donnarose may as well became a special interest???? these little guys genuinely make me happy and i love developing them, thinking about their relationships with each other, it's just too much fun. but since i'm a whole autism with personhood i don't know if my level of enjoyment is normal and akin to someone with their own ocs or im once again having an autism moment. so idk
#like i know that im enjoying 0mori and fn4fhs in a normal way in my own terms; or maybe not so normal but these two still arent spins#meanwhile d4nganronpa rotates in my brain like a rotisserie chicken#sometimes i go to the wiki just to read information about a random character and consume it as if i didnt finished the 3 main games + udg#and other things. i Feel the spin. meanwhile i have no reference on what is expected for someone to feel towards their own creation#does posting art you did of your ocs and sharing a bit of info in an unrelated server constitutes a spin?#does them being the thing you nearly always draw constitutes a spin? it is a spin if you join a server dedicated to talk about ocs?#what if you want to write stories about them instead of 100% focusing on fanfic........ what if.#what if you get embarrassed posting about them sometimes because you think youre talking too much or theyre 'trivial' facts about them#that will make people think 'why did you thought about this'; and so worry about being seen as unhealthily obsessed for it.#-shaking myself- WHAT DOES THIS MEANS IS THIS EXPECTED OR IS THE AUTISM#if this IS a special interest though. it suck ass if i want new official content i have to create it smh /j its also surely a thing#like this brain created its whole special interest from scratch. im fixated on something *I* created. this feels like the#'would you fuck your clone' thing. damn. anyway yeah ramble over i gotta read marx#iván whispers
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DRE DRE OMG DRE!:O
I JUST HAB THE GREATEST IDEA OF ALL TIME DRE!
So, so I was thinking at like 1:33 am cuz ye, and I thought,
WHAT IF THE READER, HAD LIKE, A DISABILITY , AND IT CAUSED THEM TO LIKE NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE AROUND MUCH, AND AND THEY FEEL USELESS, SO THEYRE LOVER COMES IN, AND IS LIKE” u know ily right?” OUT OF NO WHERE, AND IT MAKES THEIR DAY???
I mean you dnt have 2, but it would still be like so cool:3
*me running at Usain Bolt speed in order to get away from sleep cuz insomnia helps brain go brr*
But have to sleep so go night night>:(
Yanderes x Disabled!Reader w/ a Mobility Disability
My OCs x Disabled!GN Reader
yall have no idea how long I've wanted to write this *sobbing*
CW: Adrian is stupid and ignorant a little, mentioned kidnapping themes, stalking, theyre a little bit too caring for you..
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Adrian doesn't use your disability to make fun of you, he's an asshole not a monster. But he is painfully ignorant of things when it comes to people with disabilities. Prepare to be asked a lot of shallow and sort of weird questions, not because he's judging you, but because he wants to learn more about you and maybe learn how to take care of you once you two get married and live together. He'd ask in random times "So why do you use a wheelchair?" "Can you piss correctly?" and a plethora of other things. If you use a wheelchair, he'd insist, no, demand that he'd push for you, he doesn't give a real reason for it other than "Your arms will get tired." If you're an amputee, he'd secretly save and steal money in order to buy you prosthetics if you ever showed your desire for one to him. He honestly doesn't care if you feel useless, you're his and he loves you and no matter what you think, he will always be there for you. "Are you fucking kidding me? You went to the library all by yourself yesterday! You played with those kids in the playground, and you carried that group presentation in math class! You're not useless, you dumbass, you're amazing!"
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Brandon, despite how ditsy he is, researches a lot about your disability, how to take care of a person with your disability and stuff that could improve your mobility. It's his duty as your boyfriend to give you the best care possible! As much as he loves to take care of you, he knows for sure you're able to do things yourself, he helps you with physical therapy if you ever need it. Being the star player of the lead team has its financial benefits too, so if there's something you found online that could help with your mobility, he's definitely buying it for you immediately!! There are times when you feel insecure about your disability but he's always there to give you lots and lots of reassurance and love! But to be honest, his way of cheering you up sounds more like a pep talk more than comfort, but it's his way of cheering you up :) "Who cares if you're not like other people? You're awesome and never forget that, with or without a disability!"
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Valeth, I shit you not, is taking away your wheelchair, your crutches, your prosthetic limbs, anything you need to move around on your own. He doesn't want you being able to escape his house and tell the authorities about him. Besides, why need those when you have him to carry you around and spoil you rotten with gifts and affection? If you let, him, he'll kiss the parts of your body that are affected by your disability, your legs, your arms, your amputated limbs, he wants to remind you how much he loves you despite your immobility. He'll whisper how much he loves you every night or when you feel sad. "You're perfect my little duckling, so so beautiful..."
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The Horde is keeping you in your bunker 24/7 unless you tell them you want to get out, but even then, they're right by your side the entire time. Bo is in charge with making sure you're never in pain or discomfort, physically and emotionally. "You're so beautiful darlin'..I wouldn't change a thing about your pretty little self~.." Screw rummages around the mall to find anything to help you move around like items from the medical areas. "I found this..uhm..do you like it?" Soda and Ribs don't really understand but they love you either way, regardless of your body. Ribs might steal your prosthetics or crutches though; you have to pry them out of his mouth like a dog that doesn't want to give up a stick.
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Wolfie thinks you're hurt and whines whenever he sees you struggling of sad, he licks the places of your body that are 'hurting'. Even when you reassure him that you're ok, he won't let go, he needs to make sure his little mate is ok! Forget wheelchairs, or crutches or prosthetics, he'll let you ride on his back, anywhere you want! Just give him lots and lots of pets and scratchies, good boy deserves it!
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Dorik is your loyal servant and will help you whenever you need anything. Oh, your wheelchair is folded up and you need help setting it up? Nonsense! He can carry you anywhere you want! Prosthetic limb nowhere to be found? Just stay in bed, he'll take care of it! Found out he's been hiding all your stuff so you depend on him and only him?...nuh uh.. and if you ever feel down, he'll be right there cuddling you and whispering sweet kinda creepy things to you. "You're my little angel, master~ A fragile mortal like you should be cared for with a gentleness of a thousand silks~!"
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Kalva forges high and low for anything that can help you. while he does enjoy keeping you nice and safe in the nest, you need some sunlight! He gives you branches, sticks, rope, anything you need to help you move around even just a little bit. With his nest building abilities, he would make you a prosthetic limb or cane for you. If you're a wheelchair user, he can just lift you up and prop you outside with him while he preens you. He might not know what's wrong but he tries his best to make you feel better. "My mate is so lovely, my lovely lovely mate! So pretty and cute!"
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Jasper can't help but be much more protective of you. He knows you can do stuff on your own, but he thinks as your best friend and future lover he needs to take care of you. He'd gladly be your caretaker if you ever need one, but he beats himself up for not accepting that you know how to handle yourself. Please let him draw and paint on your prosthetics or wheelchair! If you don't want anyone to touch your stuff, that's ok with him, but that won't stop him from making little artworks for you, like tiny paper stars with cute doodles drawn over it. If ever you feel sad, he has a nice cozy room, a weighted blanket, hot chocolate and his cat to comfort you. He's not the type to give pep talks, but he's a good cuddler.. "It's ok to feel sad, baby~..let's just lie down together alright?"
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Silas, Viktor and Garrick pester you every day to just let them turn you. You could be in unbearable pain, and you still refuse to be a vampire??? You could just have a minor limp or amputated leg and they're blowing your disability out of proportion, comparing you to a fragile porcelain doll. Imagine how much better you'll feel when you can no longer feel pain! Or when you have the ability to walk properly! It bugs you, it even makes you feel worse. If they go too far, they quiet down and sulk like sad puppies, whining and begging you to forgive them. They're sorry they took it too far..they just wanted you to be happier and healthier... "We're sorry darling, we just want you safe is all.." "Indeed my dove~ but we love you either way~!" "So cute and so fragile~! I don't know what's up with those two, but I wouldn't change a thing baby~!"
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Baron is always there for you, you dont even need your wheelchair or crutches anymore with how much he takes care of your needs. He says it's all part of his job but you don't really think making adorable little snacks for you is part of it.. looking at the little orange slices shaped like snails and cookies decorated to look like cats on your tray, you wonder if his doting is really his duty or if he just really wanted to take care of you.. Apart from that, he often watches as you look in the mirror and just frown. He gets up and checks how you're feeling as if a switch activated in his brain when he saw your sweet sad eyes. He can't bear seeing you so insecure when you're the most amazing person he's ever met.. "Boss, I don't care what you or others think, you are wonderful and worth regardless of your disability. In fact, it makes you even more admirable.."
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Caspian can relate to immobility. Out of water, he's more or less paralyzed from the waist down because of the weight of his tail, so you two hang out and joke about it together. He helps you cope by giving you someone to see yourself in. He daydreams about one day using some kind of magic to give you a fish tail so you can live in the ocean together like a happy couple. Sometimes he brings you to the shore of the cave you live in so you can soak your feet in the water while he sings for you. "My beautiful treasure~ your body does not define you. I see your soul, your heart, and it is beautiful~.."
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Hallow just sees it as an excuse to keep you locked up. He baby-proofs everything so you don't accidentally bump into something and get hurt. Yes, he takes away your wheelchair or prosthetics when you disobey him. He's a menace but he makes up for it by caring so much for you, you don't even have to lift a finger. If you're good, he gives your stuff back, all of them decorated with stickers and doodles all over it, mostly hearts and flowers. If ever you feel insecure, he coils around you in a warm hug and kisses you all over, you're not getting out until he hears a giggle come out of you. "My doll~ my darling~ my love~ my pretty little toy~ so cute~ so small~ your body is perfect~ just the way it is~!"
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Ashvan is on high alert 24/7, what if you get hurt? Or someone knocks you over and you can't get up? What if you can't move in a dangerous situation??? Stairs?!?!? He's absolutely panicking over you, but you being a cleric, you can simply use magic to get around. He knows full well that you can look after yourself but he can't help but linger around wherever you are to make sure you're ok, especially in fights. He's never far from you, acting like your defense as you heal the other members of the clan. He may or may not watch you sleep. Just being there for you! On days when you're not so confident in your abilities, he comes up to you with flowers he picked so he could hopefully make you smile again. "H-hi there! u-uhm..I-I picked these for you! heheh..uhm..g-good job during that battle! You were uhm..amazing..~"
#yandere#yandere x gn reader#male yandere#oc yandere#yandere x male reader#tw yandere#yandere male#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere monster#yandere writing#soft yandere#werewolf x reader#x reader#fem reader#female reader#gender neutral reader#x female reader#male reader#bully x reader#werewolf x human#demon x human#monster x human#teratophillia#terat0philliac#terato#oc x reader#clown husbandry#clown oc#monster
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(This was inspired by an OC post I saw)
Can I request headcanons for Jax being affected by a love virus, (as in being forced to act lovey-dovey because of a glitch the reader carries)? I hope this makes sense.
Jax w/ a love virus!
might be a little different than the post youre referring to because i dont know what post youre talking about </3 written as the reader and jax already being in a romantic relationship since i think otherwise i may be uncomfortable writing it </3 will touch more on that in the actual post but!! kind of written with like, a slight angst angle at the beginning, going off my own silly ideas since i dont know specifics for this!! my toxic trait is seeing someone call a recipe "hard" and "difficult to master" and my immediate reaction is to make the thing. i learned how to make macarons i can learn how to make panettone... not today though i need to get the nuts and fruits for it
he doesnt care if he was sick, when he recovers from it hes going to be so embarrassed. will become argumentative with anyone who tries to bring it up, even if theyre being neutral or supportive of him.. it might be easier for him to come to terms with it and live it down if you (his main target) are already in a relationship with him
i think he might be really upset if he got the virus from you; regardless of if you can control it or not.. it sucks, yeah, but this isnt like a flu or cold, but
yeah
bonus points if you yourself dont show many symptoms of the virus and even more bonus points if you decided not to tell anyone about it; i think if it were like this it would warrant break up material for jax
obviously i dont know the specifics, and i do want to keep this somewhat vague so it can hopefully be morphed to fit what you, the anon, specifically saw/read
but how is he like during the actual virus/infection?
clingy. very clingy
sure, jax was already clingy in his own way before getting sick, what with keeping an eye on you and trying to keep you all to himself when you guys were alone... but this is... something else
he constantly follows you around, and might even drape himself over your shoulder while you're trying to talk to someone else
gets visibly antsy and even irritated when separated from you for too long, perhaps even becoming a little verbally aggressive to the other circus members if they try to get him to calm down
wont even hesitate throwing himself into danger. not to save you. but to be around you. "if you die im going to die with you" mentality, pretty much
audibly whines when you have to go do something. embodiment of the "nooo you hang up :3" thing but way more intense and kind of obnoxious (obviously not a knock to anyone who does it, jax is just ramping it up to 100 and beyond)
if hes showing typical... sickness.. symptoms (fatigue, fever, ect) youre going to have one hell of a time keeping him in bed. youre probably going to have to monitor him until he recovers; because otherwise hes just going to follow you around the circus
this is already normal jax behavior but hes going to push people, hes just going to do it a little more often and more aggressively in order to get to you while hes sick
#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#digital circus x reader#jax x reader#jax x you#jax imagine
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hi! ive seen you talk about your surana a bunch but i dont know if ive seen her full story. what were some of the pivotal decisions she made? i love hearing you talk about your ocs, theyre always so in depth and thought out!
oh thank you!! :) my surana is my Eldest Daughter from my very first full playthrough of a dragon age game, so i think a lot of people newer to the blog (like... from less than a year and a half ago probably lmao) have less of the context in complete form. so i will attempt to summarise!! it may be... long...
minerva surana is a manipulative, driven elven circle mage, heart-breakingly willing to sacrifice whatever she believes is necessary for her Grand Goals, who is often so busy playing 5d chess she forgets she’s a twenty-one year old with no experience of the world outside the tower
okay it did turn out fucking long the rest is under the cut its like 9 bulky paragraphs enjoy
her family were tevinter liberati, elven slaves who had devoted themselves to buying their way out and very recently succeeded. her parents were desperate to see her and her elder sibling grow up knowing only freedom, and sent their children south with another part of the family while they remained to pay off the last of their debts. the journey was long and difficult, and they had little left when they ended up in the denerim alienage. in a twist of bitter irony, magic that might have made minerva someone of value in the imperium saw her freedom once more revoked in the south. minerva remembers nothing of tevinter, and only a few fragments of what came next: of light through the vhenadahl’s branches glinting on a templar’s blade, of her sibling fighting them and being knocked to the ground, terribly still, with blood in their hair, and of her grandmother saying what she might have said many times on that long journey south: we can survive anything, as long as we never look back. ironically, minerva often took that to heart by denying all memory prior to the circle.
young apprentice minerva was a sullen child, with few friends; karl thekla took an elder brother’s interest, and jowan clung to her talent. she only really flourished when, after her terror of her natural gift for spirit magic saw her self-hatred turn dangerous in her early teens, first enchanter irving took an interest. he was a father figure to her, and he showed her how to channel her power into control, and her distress into ambition. newfound devotion to elemental magic saw her hailed as a prodigy, and surely a future first enchanter with irving’s tutelage. (only irving considered her too headstrong for the role. he never told her, fostering the drive he had cultivated, both fearful for the state she might return to if he didn’t, and curious as to what else she might become.) she grew up arrogant and beautiful and deeply loyal to the circle, learning that it was only the weak and the defiant who would fail to thrive there, and convinced she was neither. many of her peers wanted to be her, and few of them wanted to spend much time in her company. except jowan, still the little brother hiding in her shadow, and halliserre amell, a rebellious rival with a winning smile, who made up for their lack of her discipline and raw power with sheer brilliance, and whose heated arguments eventually developed into... ah, something else heated.
not long before the start of the game, amell told her they were going to accept tranquillity. it didn’t matter how clever they were; with their weak magic, they would die in the harrowing. they’d only been so defiant of the circle before because, having accepted their fate, the risks were nothing to them. furious and unable to admit it was because she was in love, the last thing minerva ever said to them when they were whole was that they were a coward not to try. when jowan told her he feared he too would be made tranquil, minerva was still recovering from the loss, not to mention flushed with even more arrogance than normal from her own successful harrowing. she had been the perfect circle mage all her life, twice as good as everyone else to make up for every rumour about where she was from. surely she had earned one defiance. surely she could save this one thing, her oldest friend. and she is a loyal person, in her way, emotion powering her fierce drive, incapable of abandoning what she has set her heart on. irving, from whom she had learned everything, was ahead of her every step of the way. he arranged for her to be taken in by the grey wardens. she had proved herself as headstrong and unsuitable as he had feared—and she was shocked and bitterly betrayed to finally see that—but he also believed this might bring her to where she would truly belong.
as a grey warden, minerva’s highest concern is perception. when the stakes of the game are revealed, she has enough hubris to see it as a chance to not just save but change the world. defeating the archdemon isn’t enough. she needs to be seen defeating the archdemon, at the forefront, as an elven mage; she has enough idealism to believe it will really matter for her and people like her, and enough shrewd cynicism to consider what she may have to sacrifice to achieve it. mostly she approaches problems with the skill for diplomacy and management that irving taught her, with that good good Master Coercion skill. she gets many of the “better” and certainly more peaceful quest outcomes, not always motivated by altruism, but determined to be remembered well when she leaves each faction behind. her one great sacrifice of this goal to be seen as the perfect mage is when she takes up blood magic, determined after she sees its power that she alone can handle it, to get the job done and keep what’s hers alive fight after fight. but that only makes her more dedicated to her actions elsewhere
the real test and most pivotal moment of her arc is at the landsmeet. she has arranged anora’s marriage to an alistair hardened for the role (once more following irving’s example, learning to teach ambition as he had taught hers. is there love in that, or just selfishness? she doesn’t know). all that matters is that the joint rule neatly fulfils her desire for compromise to please all parties. but then she struggles between two aspects of her goal: she wants to be seen, personally, as the victor; she does not want every noble in ferelden to see her kill the hero of river dane with magic. she knows how that scene will be remembered, in the end. when riordan suggests recruiting him instead, it seems the perfect solution to everything, the salvation of the day. and then she realises she’s broken alistair’s heart, just when he’s breaking hers. she is incapable of backing down in front of them all (it’s only to alistair, her alistair, but she can’t do it—not to a human, and not to someone part of her will always see as a templar—not when everything she wants was so close.) he abandons her for the throne she taught him to want. she goes on with loghain in the party, and eventually—unable to let loghain snatch the final sacrifice from her grasp, and realising she does want to win and live, after it all—convinces him to do the dark ritual.
in terms of her most important relationships with companions: minerva traditionally romances zevran, who is in many ways uniquely her match having learned the same bitter lessons with the crows that she learned from the circle, and who is so dear to her and capable of lightening her heart when no-one else can. i’ve also experimented with the idea of her romancing alistair, to really dramatise the Landsmeet Divorce and capitalise on future political shenanigans where she could one day be his mistress, but more traditionally they are simply an extremely closely trauma-bonded pair of people who are incapable, at least that year, of really understanding each other deep down. it falls into a pattern where she loves someone with all that fierce drive, enough to die for them, but she will always prioritise what she thinks they need over what they are saying and what they want, often with misjudgements and terrible consequences for them both. it was true with amell, it’s true for many others
she has something very intense and homoerotic going on with morrigan, she has a strained relationship with leliana and wynne, and she has respect and comradeship and a fair bit of fundamental disagreement with sten and loghain. the awakening squad are the people she will consider family for life, most notably nathaniel who she started out not liking at all and is now her work wife, her right hand, can finish her sentences, etc.; anders, who remembers her as karl’s annoying teacher’s pet telltale little sister and is still sometimes baffled by who she’s become; velanna, who makes minerva her most genuine self by having regular screaming matches with her as a sign of affection; and oghren who tried to quit drinking at the same time she tried to quit blood magic, leading to many conversations that deeply baffled everyone around them.
the “current” minerva surana is a sharp-tongued leader who was born for the role of warden-commander, who loves her work and that it matters, who has a truer confidence that is less blindly arrogant and more willing to admit to mistakes, who has worked her breathless way up to h*lding h*ands in public with someone she loves, who has finally learned the hard lesson that the world needs more than an heroic example who followed all the rules to truly be bettered... and who, as rebellion brews, has never been one to sit back and watch while others changed the world
#minerva surana#i THINK thats everything major... it must be#minerva enjoyers who im sure remember more of my posts than me tell me if i missed anything crucial writing this in one sitting#shes my babygirl. thats crucial.#i didnt cover the exact details of her quest decisions bc i think abt changing them a lot#def bringing the sides together in nature of the beast. bhelen supporter and she rlly cultivates that alliance she loves orzammar#ive never played it but in retrospect i believe she wouldve killed connor#and. saved the circle. given that the other option is [checks notes] murdering her dad for the crime of [checks notes again] being tortured
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Honestly, real talk, I feel like people largely do not understand just how much characters within those who are maladaptive daydreamers and/or were maladaptive daydreamers literally are "parts of them" and how both healing and destructive that dynamic can be and I find that a bit visible with how people in DID communities talk about maladaptive daydreaming as a "form of plurality"
Its an absolutely different experience but that doesn't mean that the label of "plural" isn't equally suitable. Since that topic has come up on our radar like way back half a year or year ago, we honestly have been thinking about it as someone who is considered "recovered" from DID and has recovered from maladaptive daydreaming but still has a brain that functions creativity and imaginative worlds with the same semi-autonomous functions whether I like it or not
And honestly? My characters are very much not "my creation", nor are they "just my OCs" - the very way all of my character are made and at this point the only way I know how to write and make characters is by taking a part or aspect of myself (conscious or subconscious) and throwing it out there with a name and face. That part of myself engages with the world I created and develops within the narrative and impacts the world itself.
I repeat and do this for all my characters and the world that I have created serves as a hypothetical exploratory way to understand, engage with, and explore very complex topics with exaggerated and isolated parts of myself. I have never really "planned" a character of given them traits or really anything other than a basic premise of a name, MAYBE a gender, and a vague role and I let them define their own story. No real character arc planning. No real likes and dislikes. No real narrative or secret message.
The function and means of which that I "created" these OCs and the level of which I don't control the way they form and grow is extremely similar to how I "create" alters, albeit one is far more voluntary and intentional than the other and one is physically sharing my life with me and the other is sharing a mental world with me.
((Additionally I don't engage in the mental world I made for them beyond the half joke that I'm the god of the gods of that world and they dont know))
The dynamics I have with my characters is WAY WAY WAY different than my parts / alters but BOTH my characters (maladaptive daydreaming) and my alters (DID) are equally fair to call "parts of me" and "parts of a whole" in a very literal not "Oh yeah Im a writer and this character means a lot to me theyre a part of me"
With my writing partner (who does this as well) we regularly use our characters as well to explain what we are going through / how we are feeling to help facilitate real talk and venting a lot because we have a mutual understanding that while this is a story and these are our characters, both of us have "built" this world by literally giving very specific aspects of ourselves the ability to explore, grow, and learn in a world and that while some have grown SO far from who we are now, they represent an aspect and potential part of us that could have been should something have gone one way in a specifically extreme way in a specific environment.
With that in mind, I absolutely feel its fair to compare DID and MaDD "plurality" with some obvious understanding that while there are similarities they are also different (AND THATS OK).
Cause honestly? If I actually talked to my characters (like a lot of people with MaDD tend to do) I could see myself calling and feeling as though they were a system and I don't think it would be all that inaccurate and wrong. I don't have that experience as my MADD and DID are mostly entirely two seperate dissociative coping mechanisms, but I know for a fact the line between the two is a lot less clear and its just food for thought
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[SYSCOURSE AND DEBATE WILL BE BLOCKED.]
[Good faith conversation and discussion is WELCOMED and ENCOURAGED.]
[If you don't know the difference, don't add on.]
#alter: fei#alter: riku#maladaptive daydreaming#plurality#plural#conversysion#sysconversation#sys conversation#system discussions#syscourse#<- for reach because I don't think the new tags have gotten well known enough#actuallydid#dissociative identity disorder
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Finding Peace 🕊️
Content warnings- angst, medical talk and hospital stay. NICU/ pre mature birth.
Summary- Mia and Noah are faced with the pre mature birth of their daughter, an emergency C-Section and a NICU stay.
Paring- Baby daddy! Noah Sebastian X OC Mia
~Chapter Seven~ Mia’s POV
~3 weeks later~
Gulping down the last of my water I set the glass in the sink as I double over and grab onto the counter. Pain shoots through my back, it’s almost like period cramping but about 10 times worse. No ones is home currently. The guys went to the studio early, Noah said they probably wouldn’t be back till late tonight. The pain has been coming and going since I woke up at 8am, it’s 5 in the evening now. It has become more frequent and more intense. As the pain subsides i walk to the table and grab my phone calling Noah.
“Hello?” He said after the third ring.
“Noah I need you to come home. I think she’s coming now.”
“What do you mean? You aren’t due for another like 7 weeks?” Panic rises in his voice and I can hear his keys jingle. “I’m on my way, I’ll be there in 20 minutes” a rush a liquid down my legs and a small puddle on the floor has me crying.
“Noah- my water broke” tears stream down my face. It’s too early, she’s not ready. Shes too early, too small, too weak.
“I’ll be there in 5, don’t move!” The engine roars to life. Noah is home in less than 5 minutes, his hair disheveled as if he’s been pulling at it.
“I’m scared” I’m shaking I can barely breathe the pain is becoming worse.
“It’s okay, why didn’t you call me earlier? I would have come home”
“I didn’t want to bother you”
“Let’s go, let’s go have a baby.” The ride to the hospital is a blur, the pain becomes almost unbearable. I’m rushed to labor and delivery and doctors and nurses are in and out of the room.
“When did you first notice the pain sweetheart?” An older lady ask me.
“When I got up this morning, around 8. I thought they were Braxton- ah” my sentence cut short as another pain arises.
“These are real sweets. Let’s call NICU make sure they’re ready for this little girl please” she calls out to one of the nurses. She nods before swiftly making her way out of the room.
“NICU?” Noah says.
“Yes sir- she’s a little early for the party. She’ll need some extra help adjusting” the woman says calmly. Noah’s eyes widened this wasn’t the plan, she was supposed to stay put. 7 weeks-she was supposed to keep getting bigger and stronger for 7 more weeks.
Roughly 2 hours had passed before doctors and nurses were running into the room. One throwing a paper gown to Noah. “Mia, her heart rate is low, we need to do something now. It could be detrimental, we need to do an emergency C-Section. Okay?” Being wheeled down the hall and to an elevator, we make our way to the OR.
“Okay Mama! we’re ready, dad should be here in just a second then we’re going to start.” The doctor says as Noah rushes through the double doors and straight to me. “Alright everyone, let’s have a baby.” The doctor starts asking for supplies, everyone is moving quickly and soon a small person is lifted above the curtain. Shes here.
“Congratulations it’s a girl!” The doctor says before handing her to the nurse, who rushes her to the warmer.
“Shes not crying! Why isn’t she crying? Hello somebody tell me why my daughter isnt crying! Noah please go- go see her. Why isn’t she crying?she’s supposed to cry!” The room is silent for a moment but it feels like an eternity before a loud scream is heard and I exhale a breath i didn’t know I was holding. Noah walks back over to me tears in his eyes as he begins brushing the hair back from my face. “Shes so beautiful, she has your nose and lips. Theyre going to take her now do you want to meet her before they go?” Nodding, he steps aside as a young nurse brings Ophelia into view. Wrapped in a white hospital blanket her cry’s have become more of a sniffle, she’s so little. How is she supposed to be able to fight when she’s this tiny.
After the doctor had closed me up and I was sent to recovery. Ophelia was taken to the NICU. Tubes and wires are covering most of her small body and face. ���You can hold her if you want.” The nurse says to me. “You won’t hurt her.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen. Shes not strong enough, we don’t have her nursery done. We were supposed to have time.” My voice wavers. Looking at my little girl, the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor she’s connected too almost like a metronome.
“Mia. She is strong, she’s a fighter. Got some damn strong lungs too.” I laugh of course she would.
“Thats all Noah. The strong lungs. He’s a vocalist”
The nurse-Rebecca, opens the glass box and gently picks Ophelia up and out. Handing her to me before stepping back.
“What’s her name? If you have one picked out.”
“Ophelia Grace Davis” Noah says coming up behind me. “The guys are finishing her room. They left soon after I did. It’s done. They’ll be here soon, they have some things for you. We forgot your bag and the doctor said we will be here at least 48 hours. Standard protocol for C-Section.” His voice is soothing but does little to heal the pain in my chest.
“Can we stay here for a few more minutes?” He nods. Rebecca walks out leaving us look at the person we created in awe.

#bad omens#noah sebastian#bad omens cult#bad omens band#nick folio#jolly karlsson#nicholas ruffilo#badomenscult#badomens#concrete jungle#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian bad omens#noah sebastian davis
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oh godddd #13 was so good!!! dinner is gonna be so awkward between koo and oc 😭 or theyre gonna be giggling abt it
guess u should read this to find out!
i didn’t have the time to betaread and add more inner dialogue and stuff so sorry if its not like the others
taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #14
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did he really just
exit the tent ? with a TENT in his PANTS?
oh he gives no fucks?
wait why are you even worried about him?
YOU NEED TO GET OUT THERE TOO
They’re gonna come looking for you
you quickly adjust your clothes and crawl out of the tent a few moments after jungkook
you use your phone to check what you look like, fixing any out of place hairs and wiping the tears off your cheeks
the stickiness in your leggings is impossible to ignore but whatever right?
you slowly make your way to the table
yoongi’s waving at you
right
yoongi
YOONGI
you stupid slut
how could you?
you go to sit down next to him, smiling at the fact he once again saved you a spot <3
but this time jungkook isn’t across from you
:)
he’s
right next to you :)
so yoongi to your right… jungkook to your left
wow
this is uhhhh
gonna be fun.
😂😂😂😂😂
don’t laugh.
“i was looking for you but you disappeared for a while.” the older man leans into your side to whisper into your ear
you glance at him. “sorry, yoongi. i thought i’d lost my powerbank, i kept searching for it in my suitcase.”
that lie left your mouth too easily you dirty liar
he nods in understanding. “did you end up finding it?”
you nod your head.
“bummer.”
you frown as the word leaves his mouth. “why is that a bad thing?”
“cause it would’ve given me the chance to invite you into my tent and offer it to you so you can use it.”
fuck ur gonna fucking melt
he’s so
YOOONGIIIIII
holy shit
yeah.
“oh, did i mention when i found it again, it was broken? i might have to take you up on that offer anyway,” you say as you nudge him with your elbow
he laughs and shakes his head, gently swatting your elbow away
he ends up wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you in close, whispering, “don’t start something you can’t finish, y/n.”
your cheeks instantly heat up as his breath hits your ear
he’s so close
you slap his thigh. “how do you know i won’t finish it?”
he lowly chuckles and gosh the sound is so sultry. “i’m not sayin–”
your body suddenly gets pulled out of his enbrace
“can you pass me the napkins?”
you frown.
did jungkook just
forcefully tug you out of yoongi’s embrace?
to ask for napkins??
you turn your head to stare at him in disbelief but yoongi is already handing the napkins to jungkook
for fucks sake
if anyone’s gonna make it obvious it’s that little shit
see what you said??? childish!!!
jungkook quietly thanks yoongi and continues to eat without even so much as glance at you
dumbass.
did he really come sit at the table with a hard-on?
you bring your attention back to your plate of food and start eating, listening to the crazy stories taehyung is telling everyone
“you’re gonna go to the store with jungkook cause we don’t have any paper plates or bread for breakfast tomorrow.” taehyung pulled you to the side to say this
you click your tongue in annoyance. “why do i have to go with jungkook? why can’t you?”
“cause i’m not the one refusing to talk to him.”
you screech, “i talk to him!”
“with all that attitude!” he retorts, “listen, just go easy on him, alright? i know what i said about him but he’s still a sensitive guy, you know? he’s not all that bad, or else he wouldn’t be my friend. you know that.”
he continues, “i just regret giving you this wrong impression of him. he’s been through a lot, i just didn’t want any drama between you two but that clearly backfired.” he sighs. “just… give the guy a chance to show you his true colors. he’s not a bad guy.”
been through a lot?
that reminds you
of the moment in his tent when he showed you his tattoos
and completely shut you out when you asked about his mother’s opinion on his tattoos
what happened to her?
“what do you mean he’s been through a lot?”
he looks around to make sure no one’s listening. “i’ll tell you a bit more about it after you’ve returned. now, chop chop. go before that store closes.”
ughhh
when you start heading toward where the car is parked
jungkook is already leaning against the hood of the car, seemingly waiting for you
you approach him and enter via the passenger seat without another glance at him
he gets in too and buckles his seatbelt
so do you
and he starts driving off
he doesn’t even look up any way to reach the store
does he remember how to get there?
that’s pretty hot.
the ride is silent and the boner in his pants is hard to ignore so you make sure to constantly stare out the window
it’s quiet
uncomfortably quiet
“what would you have done if isabella caught us?” you break the silence
you see him glancing at you in your peripheral vision but you refuse to look at him
he shrugs his shoulders. “it’s not any of her business.”
your head snaps in his direction. “you don’t think you owe an explanation to the people you’re sleeping with?”
he clicks his tongue. “who said i’m sleeping with her?”
you frown. “stop being vague. are you fucking her or not?”
“why do you care?” he quips
“i don’t, i’m just–”
he shrugs his shoulders. “are you fucking yoongi?”
what???
“what?”
“are you fucking yoongi, yes or no?” his hand slides over the steering wheel so effortlessly and it’s so fucking hot
“why does that matter?” you try to backtrack
“it doesn’t, that’s my point.”
damn
he kinda gagged you😭
you cross your arms over your chest and look out the window again. “well, y’all are overly friendly, i thought maybe you were still sleeping with her.”
he shrugs his shoulders again.“does it matter to you who i’m sleeping with?”
you say, “no, it doesn’t.”
yes, it does
“then why do you ask?”
you sigh and glance at him again. “if i say yes, would you honestly answer me?”
“yes, i would.”
you decide not to go in on it any further.
the rest of the ride there is quiet
when you arrive, you both get out but instantly notice the swarm of men by the entrance
jungkook instinctively places his hand on your lower back as he leads you inside the store
the men stare at you like you’re a fucking peace of meat and it’s sickening
you go look for paper plates but jungkook doesn’t want to leave your side
“if you go look for the bread, we can be out of here faster.” you hum as you look around
he scoffs. “you’re fucking ill if you think i’m leaving you unattended like last time.”
oh?
you didn’t know that whole thing still bothered him
you don’t say anything else about it as you look for what you came for, jungkook constantly in your wake as he intently looks around the store
you sigh. “you’re not my bodyguard, you know.”
“you’re my responsibility.”
huh?
no literally what?
you frown. “me? a grown woman? a woman older than you? your responsibility?”
you hate that they act like you’re not an adult
it’s starting to piss you off
“it’s not about who’s older or not, y/n. it’s about the fact that i need to be able to protect you.”
you fully turn your body to him to dace him. “i don’t fucking need protection.”
he stops scanning the store and he looks down at you. “i’m not saying you need protection, i’m saying your friends sent you with me to an unknown area because they trust me to protect you if something were to happen.”
you glare at him and fight the urge to roll your eyes. “how about you be responsible and take care of your erection that’s been hard for an hour?”
he scoffs. “you thinkin’ about my dick?”
“you’ve been brushing it against my ass for the past three minutes, so yes, i am.” you roll your eyes as you turn your back to him again and continue to search for what you came for
he glances down at his pants for a second before letting his eyes roam around the store. “sorry, i’m not trying to do anything weird to you but i just want to stay close to you because of those weirdos, alright?” he angles his hips away from you
you know he’s not doing it on purpose but damn
a few of the men outside have entered the store and you can’t say you don’t notice them staring
you continue to search but jungkook has seemingly gotten even closer to you, both hands on your waist from behind as he continues to guard your back and rear
😒
like…
annoying as fuck!!
girl you know damn well you’re liking that shit
ANYWAYS!!!
you finally have what you need
so you head toward the counter but jungkook already has his card pulled out and presses into the payment terminal
you know… you never noticed until now but
it seems like he’s got quite a bit of money but how? he’s still a student and as far as you know, he doesn’t have a part time job
his part time job is eating pussy apparently
jungkook leads you out the store with the bag in his hand, arm still wrapped around your waist as you walk with him to the car
the other men are still staring at you, even watching as you enter the car
jungkook stands outside your door as you get in before slamming it shut and jogging around the front of the car to get in the driver’s seat
“y/n,” he says
you hum in response and turn your head to look at him
but before you know it, his hand is cupping your cheek and he gently presses his lips to yours
oh
wait
he’s kissing you
you pull away after a few seconds. “what are you doing?”
“sorry for doing that without your permission but at least now they’re not staring anymore,” he buckles his seatbelt and starts the car with an air of nonchalance
you glance at the men and it’s true, they aren’t
so, he kissed you to get the men to stop staring
not because he wanted to kiss you
that’s good
it’d be weird if he wanted to kiss you!!
right?
jungkook starts driving out of the parking lot and back on the road
it’s quiet
music in the background
but the tension is directly speaking to you
your eyes slowly trail to his sweatpants and his bulge is actively staring back at you
damn
should you reciprocate?
he hasn’t mentioned it at all
like he doesn’t expect you to reciprocate
and he didn’t fingerfuck you in his tent just to get a favor back
but
you
really want to
“pull over.”
he glances at you and then frowns at the road. “what?”
“i said pull over.”
concern flickers on his face. “are you feeling sick or something? do you need to throw up? cause i have a weak stomach, i’ll throw up too–”
“just pull over, for fuck’s sake.”
he ends up listening to you, pulling over on this dark empty road is kinda scary
you unbuckle your seatbelt and reach over his lap, pressing the button next to him that locks all the doors
“what are you doing?” he asks, utterly confused
you look into his confused eyes for a moment
“let me make you feel good.” you use the same words he did to you so he gets the memo
he blinks at you a few times until realization sets on his face. “you know you don’t have to do that, right?”
“i know i don’t, you freak.” you get on your knees on the passenger seat and slowly bend forwards, face closing in on his as you flash him your siren eyes. “i want to.”
he stares at you dumbfounded for a few seconds, eyes occasionally dropping to your lips
“shit, fuck, okay,” he breathes out as he tucks his fingers around the hem of his sweats and lifts his hips off the seat to drag his sweats down
you glance at his calvin klein boxers
again
is he rich or something???
something isn’t adding up
your mouth already starts salivating
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
“hey,” he says, pulling you out of your trance
your eyes travel back up to meet his
“you don’t have to do this, okay?”
“and let you have all the fun?” a smirk tugs on the corners of your lips as you reach for the hem of his boxers.
he echoes, “all the fun?”
“hmm, you’re so sure i’ll be wrapped around your finger. it’s your fault i’m determined to watch you break under me too.”
ah
he chuckles quietly, chest puffing. “okay, then, y/n. challenge accepted.”
to be continued
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#tell me ur thoughts !#bts jungkook#bts fics#bts x reader#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x y/n#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x oc#jungkook x you#jungkook x oc#jeon jungkook x you#jungkook fic#jungkook drabble#jungkook smut#jungkook au#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook angst#bts smut#minors dni#clover’s drabble series: toapp | jjk#bts angst#bts drabble#dollfaceksj
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lol I almost cried coloring that rabbit
I just love making random Sonic ocs with no porpous to them whatsoever
Still kinda wanna talk about them
Checker: Actually hungarians will know who she got that inspitation from (kockás fülű nyúl my beloved) idk man shes a travelling kid psichologist or something,,, she can also fly with her ears (yeah ik cream can do that but this is bc of her inspitation kockás fülű nyúl can also fly with her ears so thats that)
Elwood: I dont even know what to say,,, hes 12 and skates and thinks shadow the hedgehog is cool, but he loves his Mom and respects her, they actually have a pretty nice apartman. He has 2 friends and hates everyone else
Mina (her AI generated name was actually Jennifer the mink, but I drew her and shes not giving Jennifer vibes so shes Mina): probably and influencer, tiktok streams every friday dont miss it,, she actually has a lot of followers and a big audiance. She either wants a gay best friend or just sraight up a lesbian,,, I havent decided on that yet so I let you decide it for yourself
Earlene: theyre an angel. Also Botanist (plant biologist) As you can see from their getup they like to work on the field. They have hundreds of notebooks filled with notes of their journeys and the plants they found along the way. Can be shy around mobians, but if you ask them about their work, theyll open up to you in no time :)
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hi!!!! kicks my feet id like to see ur wiwi first death thoughts pls
- @suckinitup
MY BELOVED MUTUAL SUCKINITUP HOW ARE YOU. HEAD IN HANDS. I LOVE WILLIAM WISP. FUCK. i think abt him constantly but i almost never write down my thoughts because if i think abt him for too long i make myself sick. like fr. i love him too much. ouuguhghhg going to just straight copy paste this under a cut because it is SO LONG sorry for any typos or sentences that sound weird out of context bc these were originally discord messages:
ohhhhhhh wiwi first death. god . i have so many fucking emotions about wiwi first death. before i get into this im going to say fork found in kitchen to myself because so much of how i view wiwi comes from a VERY SPECIFIC type of dp fanon that it would take me 12 years to actually explain in detail so im gonna say just trust me and understand that william wisp is literally just a fuckign. walmart rebrand of a type of danny characterization i really wish people would just oc-ify (thank you charlie slimecicle for doing this for me)
okayyyyyy okay okay okay. i love there being like. a STARK fucking difference between william before the fall and william after the fall. william before the fall was so much... brighter. in every sense of the word. he looks ALIVE because he is! hes just a . regular fuckign 16 yr old boy. that weird kid in your math class. and yeah he has . suuuuper undiagnosed untreated depression but like its a small rural town thats normal i think. hes got his little group of friends to spend hours with going on cool hikes and reading about the paranormal at the library and sitting in circles talking about conspiracy theories and things. i think UPP is. awesome. i hesitate to get too attached to them in headcanon world just because i dont want bizly to then introduce us to them in s3 and i have to reframe my whole mindset . whatever. i have vague ideas of who they are but the important bit is like. i just think theyre really good friends. and they spend a lot of time together. and william is kind of their defacto leader because... he is the only one of them who actually has truesight. they all believe in ghosts and monsters and stuff but william is the only one who can actually SEE THEM. like. constantly. and thats a lot. and even though they believe him they dont really like.... understand. which kind of makes william feel disconnected from basically everyone around him at all times. i dont think truesight is probably a well-known thing?? so when he was little and started crying to his parents about monsters they thought he just had bad night terrors and then he just................. hes 16 now and still talks about it (less so now, hes learned the horrors of middle- and hihg-school Shame and not to be Super Weird All The Time) so its more like. hmm theres something Wrong here but we dont know what and we dont know how to help. other people (you included ros) have said this better than me but goddddd you knowww the dynamic btwn william and his parents is rough. they love him! so much! and they want to support him! and william loves them too! but they dont GET IT they dont UNDERSTAND and its like. you know what i mean. when you get a mental health diagnosis and suddently everyone is treating you like youre made of glass and nobody really knows what to say around you anymore or whatever. you know what i mean. that.
ANYWAY ALL THIS IS FUCKING. PREAMBLE. GOD. the fall. man. i think there is a STRICT UPP rule of "dont go into the whispering woods alone" and thats the case for the ENTIRETY of their friendship. DONT go into the woods alone. william knows exactly what kind of shit lives in the woods and he knows hes the only one that can reliably see them and he doesnt want anyone to get hurt. MINIMUM of two members for whispering woods investigations. (this is not a town rule or anything. i think the adults of deadwood are aware that its a weird place but it all gets brushed off like . aha everywhere has quirks! and the UPP are like. the conspiracy kids that know the Real Stuff going on. very..... house of anubis is the closest Real Media vibe i can think of rn. UPP pre-fall is like the closest u will get to . scooby doo style monster of the week shenanigans that arent really super serious because theyre safe as they can be about it! bunch of kids doing a ouija board. you know how it is)
uhhhhhhh and then william starts acting weird! i think all of them are on a whispering woods investigation together and theyre all walking together and then william starts lagging behind, staring out at something none of them can see, kind of like. zoned out. tranfixed. and when theyre like "will what do you see?" he shakes his head and snaps out of it like. huh? what? nothing lets keep walking. (it was a wisp btw. obviously) and there are a couple more incidents of him doing this same thing on that one hike until eventually they decide to call it because theyre not finding anything else and tbh william youre kind of freaking us out here. will you be okay? and hes like yeah of course i will guys its nothing i swear. and then they all go home.
and thennnn without telling anyone a couple days later, william goes on a walk in the woods alone. he broke his OWN rule . on that hike he saw wisps and they were just too far away to see clearly off in the distance between the trees but he just Kept Seeing Them and the curiosity was just nagging and nagging away in his brain so much he had to know what they were (thats wisp magic babyyyy you know the mythology around them i dont need to explain that to you) . (and also there is a fair amount of. lack of self preservation because of the previously mentioned untreated unmanaged depression but if i start talking about that in detail i will overshare and also be soooooo emo forreal. know that that is an EXTREMELY important part of this decision but im also going with a little more of the teen mystery angle with this rn. bloody gory mental illness is for after he falls) so he packed his monster investigation backpack and he just. left. didnt even tell his parents he was going he just walked out of the house after school and went into the woods. and he saw the wisps again, but now that he was alone they were Closer and Brighter and they would move whenever he got close and then there was a trail of them ! like they were Leading him somewhere
and i think with some of the monsters he sees he can feel whetehr or not theyre out to hurt him . and the wisps dont feel like that. they feel... well. cold,becaue theyre ghosts, but also warm at the same time? inviting. they dont want to hurt him (they do) they just want to show him something and william "too curious for his own good" wisp wants to know what that thing is! i think he knows the woods really really well because he spends a lot of time out there. so somewhere far away in the back of his mind he kind of knows what theyre leading him toward. but he still jsut Has To Know, so he keeps jogging, keeps hopping over fallen logs and around low branches and theres always a little blue flame juuuuust out of reach so he keeps going . and then he gets to the cliff. its like a full on. burst out of the trees there is a wisp juuuust on the edge where the ground falls away. i think he trips on a root and falls flat on his stomach before he can completely just run off. it gives him a second to catch his breath, to look out and See where he is. for things to kind of come crashing down on him. if he hadnt tripped he wouldve run right off the edge and fallen and it was close enough of a near death experience for it to scare him. but the wisp is still there, and its the biggest brightest one hes seen yet and if he looks around he would see it looks like the entire forest behind him is glowing with tiny blue fires like theyre all watching him. i dont think hes really. thinking coherent thoughts at this point he just kind of. realizes now that hes out here he doesnt really want to go home. he doesnt want to go back to school, doesnt want to eat lunch in the bathroom and think about his brothers empty bedroom across the hall and have his parents look at him with such a weird mix of love and awkward pity and he knows his friends say they believe him but he can see it in their eyes sometimes that the things he says scares them and he really just has been a freak his whole life.... and he realizes as hes thinking all of this he's gotten to his feet and walked toward the wisp on the edge of the cliff. and hes just standing there feet on the very edge staring at it. its floated away now, hanging over the drop at eye level with him but its probably still close enough he could just... reach out.... and try to grab it...... and his feet slip on the rocks and JUST as he closes his hand around the wisp it almost feels like something pushes him (probably just the wind.. right?) and he falls.
he does Not remember hitting the bottom thank god. he remembers falling, and falling, and in the fall he realized he was still holding the wisp he grabbed in his hand and so he pulled it close to his chest as he fell and it almost felt like it was burning him but it was *cold* and .. then he woke up! he woke up in a misty foggy field in what looked to be the middle of the night but if he looks at the sky too long it looks *weird* its just black and empty and there are weird bluish swirls in it that could be clouds but look different, and there are trees in the distance but whenever he tries to walk toward them it feels like theyre moving the same distance away so it never really feels like hes getting anywhere.. and he trips over what he thinks is a rock and lands in the foggy grass and looks behind him and realizes *oh my god thats a gravestone-* and then he wakes up again, for real this time !!! (<< that scene is like. thats His Island. thats his lair or whatever. remember when mal first took him to the spirit world and they were in the graveyard and mal told him that was his. im going with dp style spirit world lairs and this one is williams. hear me out)
aaand. when he wakes up for real. he is at. the bottom of the cliff. EVERYTHING hurts. everything hurts so fucking badly but also everything is like... weirdly numb? and he doesnt really remember that weird dream with the fog and the trees and the grave its all kind of fading as he wakes up more and more and ... his hands are empty hes not holding the wisp anymore. he doesnt know how much time has passed. was any of that even real or did he just have some kind of nervous breakdown and jump off a fuckign cliff? i think he fucking sits there and cries about it for a loooooong time. and everythihng hurts but its gonna start getting dark soon he NEEDS to go home before it gets dark, his parents will start to worry about him and he doesnt want to do that to them. also he might need to get to a hospital or something but hey! he can move! he can stand up and walk! so he must not have any broken bones or anything he just. is bruised and sore probably. and so he. sooooo slowly. so slowly. makes his way back up the cliff (theres. a path. he doesnt have to climb i promise) and back home. alone. no wisps or anything, just william alone with his thoughts. which is . goddd its bad. thats why it takes him so long. ohhh my god what am i even gonna fucking say when i get there. hi mom and dad sorry i needed to clear my head and follow some weird ghosts and in the process i tried to kill myself and it didnt work? fuck?
so by the time he gets home... huh. the door is locked thats weird. its not fully dark yet and his parents know he stays out late with his friends a lot of the time so they usually leave the door unlocked for him. so he knocks. and his mom answers the door and takes one look at him and just fucking breaks down into tears. and so his dad comes in from around the corner to see whats going on and he starts crying too. and william is so. freaked out by this. guys whats wrong what happened. turns out he has been missing for. two weeks. nobody knew where he was or what happened and the woods are alive and weird and anyone who went out in a search part just ended up getting lost themselves and came back like an hour later with nothing. they thought he was dead. (which. i mean. he was. but like. not in the way they thought). so theres this big huge emotional family group hug or whatever with william all dirty with leaves and twigs in his hair and torn clothes and mud on his hands and feet and his mom and dad are just like oh thank god youre alive thank god youre home what happened to you and... man. euguhhhhahghhhh. emo. sorry. god. head in hands .
i thiiink. he kind of ends up telling them what happened. he leaves out the wisps though. his watered down version is.. i just needed to clear my head, i went out into the woods, i got lost, i tripped and fell. (remember how william downplays it for dakota when he asks. i tripped and fell) he doesnt tell them about the wisps but like. that almost makes it worse becuase they KNOW about his bad mental health even if they dont fully understand it and.... this version makes it sound suspiciously way more like it was just a direct suicide attempt. which. william IMMEDIATELY regrets as soon as it leaves his mouth. but thats his story now. so everything kind of... goes back to normal? normal ish??? as nrmal as they can i fucking guess?? for a couple days and he has to go back to school and. god it fucking sucks. gossip . you know how it is. hey that kid tried to kill himself and got lost in the woods for two weeks what a weirdo he freaks everyone out . that kind of stuff. so hes more isolated than EVER and even his friends wont really talk to him although theyre more... sad. than anything else. they just dont really know what to say. theyre teenagers. idk. uhhhhhh then one day he reallyreallly REALLY doesnt want to be somewhere so he hides in the bathroom and.. doesnt realize it at first but he goes invisible. and its not until a couple other kids come in and leave and dont acknowledge him at all that he notices something is weird (he feels bone chillignly cold but like. its a shitty old school building in the very beginnings of winter of course its gonna be cold) and he looks in the mirror and realizes he cant see himself. and after that more and more of his powers kind of. slowly manifest? and he is VERY bad at controlling them and he plans not to tell anyone at first (hes already enough of a freak) until one day his dad finds him like. halfway through the floor in his bedroom and its this . kind of funny ridicuous but also really scary moment. and william has a realization at some point like. oh. i think i *died*. and auughhghg. i think thats all i ahve for now. but . man. when i tell you i think about this soo fucking much man.
#AND THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO DETAIL. man. ive wanted to write a fic about this for AGES but i genuinely dont think i can because it#like srsly makes me really fucking emotional to talk abt him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know why. wiwi brain#heads in hands#hiiiiiiii suck. im so sorry thats become your nickname but its also rlly funny. lmk if u have a better one.#anyway hows the mark jar has he gotten his bugs yet today#asks#jrwi pd#suckinitup
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What r ur oc stories about?
OMG HIHI I NEVER HAD SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY CURRENT FRIENDS ACTUALLY ASK BEFORE UMMMM OKAY SO. i have 3! main oc stories that i Really care about at the moment but im Deeply fixated on mainly 1 of them but im gonna start with the one ive been liek "promoting" the most in a sense!! under read more cuz im gonna try to exlain all three of them bless. sorry if i seem overly passionate oops i was TRYING to summarise im sorry its so long u rlly dont Have to read All of it
Forgotten Man's Symphony
his (louis manoir) character is basically a spin off from a character mentioned in the novel frankensetin exactly (1) time by name in elizabeth's letter and by far he is the most organised oc of mine cuz we do actually have a clean, understandable summary doc (thought it is a tad bit outdated but its okay). shes like the most Normal narrative-wise i suppose so i'm not exactly sure on how to explain the plot of forgotten man's symphony it's just like??? him ruining his life in front of the reader and then #Healing?? i guess?? the story is an epistolary that starts with louis' Suicide Letter. so like. yeah. BUT!! i suppose i would say his story very much concerns the concept of like identity (including gender and such she would be considred either transfemme/bigender by the modern world but also idfk cuz i made her complicated and confusing on purpose) and also the lack thereof + the negative impact that comes with trying so hard to fit into the societal norms and what people Want you to be but you just Can't be, cutting away bits of yourself to fit through some sort of hole representing the perfect version of you until theres nothing left of Who You Are expect a palatable and small version yk?? and the the endless pursuit of wanting to be loved that leads yourself to changing and changing for people who just wont care or love you for realsies + @rosaniruby 's words "making it even like that so its not YOU who is loving and being loved but the dim visage of a version of you that fits the picture of what society loves; that it's not a love between individuals, it's the love for a society that cannot ever love anything because it was made to hate. and who believes that portrayal of love will not find it and forever be stuck. smth like society loves what it deems as perfect and hates the imperfect, since perfect doesn't exist it can only do the second one. and louis wanted to love perfect victor, hated his own imperfect self. but the perfect victor doesnt exists, and neither does any version of louis."
i like her he's great. sorry if that was less telling u WHAT his story is and more like Explaining the "themes" as theyre called of the story but idrk how to describe nromal stuff so TAKE WHAT U CAN GET!!! anyways,
Domus Carnis: The Transmutation of Guinevere Manor
idk if you're aware but i have a hyperfix on architectural horror and i DON'T MEAN SCARY GHOSTS AND SERIAL ILLERS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE I MEAN HAUNTED HOUSES THAT ARE ALIVE THAT IS A METAPHOR FOR PTSD FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ETC ETC!! this story By making it started my whole obsession with the House it's crazy... scary even.. (i recommend you watch jacob geller's video essay about houses) i really do like domus carnis but it's. Messy to say the least. i do feel as if i ought to change the time period it's set in to avoid talking about the wars going on in the time period i accidentally set it in without realising but im procrastinating on that rn. it was Suppose to be late 1800s to early 1900s..
in a few simple words: flesh-and-bone made lesbian sex house. does that get your attention yet. bless
domus carnis (which literally means flesh house in latin or something) will be written in the POV of a 40ish year old widowed woman by the name of harriet wren's diary entries, occasionally switching to the POV of her 20-something year old godson percival who is like old timey jake paul and hes like either a journalistt or a radio host depending if i choose to change the time period or not. we follow them after harriet's husband dies of whatever and they find out he has a large property in a foreign country of which they had not known of prior
somewhere in germany there is a house of ex-aristocrats that no longer live there that is Alive. the House becomes alive because it is in a sense "possesed" (not haunted) the ghost of kathryna von guinevere who was the last one to die in the house, who, in life, was incredibly obsessed with The House for reasons that i fear are too long to explain without boring you and going into info pre-story?? anyways, when she "posseses" the house, the materials of the house shift to flesh, blood and bone because it Materially becomes her body. now, it would be hard to accurately label what represents what body part, because it's all strangely jumbled up and isn't like really human anatomy either cuz kathryna Can in fact see inside herself?? anyways whatever. now, the house is now both her body AND her mind. i have taken the phrase "haunted by memories/trauma" and turned it literal. the house IS haunted, but most of the ghosts aren't ghosts, theyre mostly all manifestation of Memory from her life because she actively is replaying the speech and actions of other people IN her mind to process the (typically traumatic) events of which she's seen or experienced. the ghosts CANNOT do as they please because they only exist at all Due to kathryna remembering them in these specific scenes. the hauntings include scenes of people, sounds, and shadows. unless the "scene" has a mirror, you cannot see kathy directly because you are witnessin things through HER eyes, which makes memories from wee childhood interesting because im wondering if i should make the "people" seem wayy bigger than the viewer if stuff is replayed from childhood..
i really like the fact that a lot of this is based on memory because it opens a lot of doors to me when it comes to the appearance of hauntings. my friend showed me this video depicting neurons forgetting how a face looks like, and i feel as if i could use that in the story because well, realistically kathy isnt going to have a Pristine memory cuz she Was just a human before, not to mention the fact shes already suppose to have issues on facial recognition/rememberance (my friend with these sisues suggetsed htis). the alteration of the ghosts' bodies could be fucked with even more if i try to make use and research into the way that people (mostly children) can in fact like.... change the image of something traumatic in their brain and make it less scary bc the brain is trying to protect them? yeah. AND ALSO the fact that a lot of people forgets certain aspects of their trauma due to their brain trying to protect them as well but still have this feeling of Unease when it comes o specific things that they cant explain, i could incorporate this feeling in certain areas of the House, the strange uneasiness. i experience that myself so i hope ill portray it right!!
i Think that's it?? at least that should be the bare bones of the story... i have a pin board tho if u want to check it out!!
The Epinicium
THIS is the stupid fucking thnag thats ruining my entire life rn. i love it i hate it whagever man. THIS ONE ill keep short and simple because im too fucking mentally ill about it to explain in depth without being asked questions
so basically its fantasy world but not like. Completely new high fantasy i very loosely based the countries off of like real countries and stuff bc lazy as shite so its like mid fantasy maybe HOWEVER
basically its set in this world where theres a shit ton of religions and gods and shit and theres three categories of religions (the world is veyr uhnm. Categorical idk): earth, science and the arts. basically the arts religions are the majority and the gods of those religions are called the muses so thats what i'll be calling them from now on. the basic plot of epinicium is about the muses of the music religion declaring that humanity doesnt treat music as "holy enough" anymore and taking it away as a whole (songbirds go extinct as well which is importnat) which also fucks up the other arts religionsdue to the fact that artforms are very connected but they still exist yk and centuries later our main cast attempts to bring it back!!! we have this server with a channel that has the "summary" but its not a real summary its just an already outdated infodump but we are Trying to fill this doc but we're failing really hard but friendship is magic idk.
fin.
anyways thats. pretty much it i think im sorry its too long once again 😭😭 feel free to ask question esp on the epinicium!! id love to hear abt ur ocs btw ive yapped so much oops
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is it bad that as much as i like your ocs (theyre amazing, i love them!), i really miss seeing you write for the canon characters
You know, that’s valid. The proportion of Canon and OC content here lately has been way off. It’s sort of the elephant in the room I ignore every time I think about Obey Me and my inspiration automatically focuses on the world building or OC potential instead.
There’s a few reasons why I’ve been less interested in writing canon lately.
1. Disappointment with Nightbringer. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure why this game exists (except to overhaul the franchise’s monetization structure). The premise and lore payoff hasn’t been that great for me personally - it feels more like an AU rather than a canon addition/continuation of the OG game. It feels like we still end up with more loose ends and questions that we don’t have (and may never get) answers for. I’m still waiting for Raphael and Mephisto to be dateable, by the way. As a result, my focus when writing OM content has been using the OG story/characterization using the odd piece from NB that makes sense, and that leads into…
2. My favourite parts of Obey Me are under-developed in canon. I enjoy most of the canon cast, I really do. But I want more Celestial Realm lore, I want more Michael (and not NB HM Lesson 20 Michael), I want more angels in general. They’ve mentioned Uriel a couple times now, give me that angel please and thank you! (No longer relevant, I wrote a version of him myself.)
The world feels so empty at times but there’s so much potential. Parts of the Devildom are more fleshed out with NB adding to it, but what about the other realms? What’s going on with the Sorcerer’s Society and the reapers? I never know if the interesting hints of lore we get are truly relevant or if it’s just something the game decided was convenient for a plot point and never gets mentioned again. NB has been great for Solomon fans since it’s practically a Solomon x MC fanfic written with a forced roommates trope, and that might be the best thing about it from a lore perspective.
My OCs were originally meant to explore gaps in the world and give the canon characters room to grow beyond the one or two defining traits the game keeps repeating over and over. I like writing Mammon when I can have him interact with Karasu, I like imagining the types of angels other exchange students might meet in the Celestial Realm, I like giving a name and personality to the mysterious owner of The Fall where so many events and Devilgram stories take place. Admittedly, it was refreshing to see that other people enjoyed reading about them or imagining them paired with their own MCs/OCs too. I call them the OC Fan Club with genuine affection.
3. It’s not something I talk about often but before I began writing fanfiction, I was mostly focused on concepts or outlines for original stories. Writing supernatural and horror themes always been my interest as a writer so anything with demons/angels/other monstrous races automatically catches my eye.
It’s a little mean to say, but half-baked worlds like the Devildom are a lot of fun to use as a foundation for expanding my own ideas. The OC story I’ve been working on is one way for me to write longer and more complex pieces which is the type I like most. Granted, it includes nearly the entire game cast and it explores the Devildom and Celestial Realm in ways that tie together some of my favourite personal headcanons and characterization. It focuses on angel characters and the history/culture of the Celestial Realm which are two of my main interests for this game. It’s a huge project - the outline is nearly 20k words on its own, it’s practically a novel divided into four sections with 30+ chapters and an epilogue. I can’t even express how excited I am when I get to work on this.
That being said, I do like writing canon content and I’ve been missing it more lately. I got burnt out when it felt like I was losing interest in NB and was pushing myself to keep writing anyway which isn’t great.
Today someone left a nice comment on something I wrote a while back, an angst piece for the demon brothers. I haven’t read it in a while and after going back and re-reading it, I was like, “Huh, I don’t remember liking this as much as I do.” And then I remembered something in my drafts that’s been rotting away, half-edited and ignored, and realized that I wanted to finish it. So, I’ve been slowly tinkering with things while I work on my angels’ story. Some of my plans are ambitious and real life distractions (mostly health related, like my recent bout of COVID) haven’t helped.
If I learned anything about my writing since starting this blog, it’s that:
writing what you’re passionate about is more fulfilling than writing what seems trendy or popular
giving and receiving feedback and fostering friendships/supporting each other keeps the community thriving
self care self care self care
Anyway. My goal has always been to write about the things I love about the game world and the things I create that are inspired by it. It’s a delicate balancing act that I’m still working on.
#jes.replies#hilariously bad takes abound#somewhat personal?#also I’ve been working on an oc side blog to try and organize things better#this may or may not get deleted if delayed embarrassment kicks in tomorrow
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