#what if i stink
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nepherit · 4 months ago
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Another Raphael in fancy outfit for the Nine Hells fashion collection 🤣
This one has some of my favorite things: lot of draping fabric ✔️ghost forest/swamp ✔️ eerie atmosphere ✔️ purple and green ���💚
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dollopole · 4 months ago
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So Arthur actually did the thing, you know. That oh so romantic thing described in all fantasy romantic books, where the main character rips a piece of their clothing to bandage their not so lover’s wound.
So like, Arthur ripped his tunic to bandage Merlin’s bicep. And made a silly joke about it, even? “First battle wound :D.” He was so excited, and Merlin was worried about Arthur’s clothes too.
But they’re not canon, apparently, yeah, okay, fine. Believe what you want. *rolls eyes*
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frenchublog · 6 months ago
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choccy-milky · 8 months ago
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scenes from my fic but make it ghibli 🌟
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jesncin · 2 months ago
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stop the presses extreme emergency mode right NOW. A librarian sent me a postcard from a fourth grader who wrote an adorable message about enjoying reading Lunar Boy. The child said "p.p.s. please right back" "p.p.p.s. PLESE!"
nothing is more important to me than replying to this child right now
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gender-fluidz · 22 days ago
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Not enough ppl told me my coveralls were cool :/
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turtleblogatlast · 10 months ago
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Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water
Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#bless their hearts but they’re nasty#it’s funny because like#each and every one of them has moments#where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy#and then the next they have STANDARDS#can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa#even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀#thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏#they’re all gross teenage boys!!!#even Donnie he is NO exception here#bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros#bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it#but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss#pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross#100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon#because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy#THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES#the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀#I love them tho they are endearing anyhow#April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr#honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all#just by virtue of being a chef#Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like#a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work#Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross#Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison)#Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk#all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now
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meanbossart · 1 month ago
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Hi there! What does Drow really smell like? All bathing jokes aside, what’s his natural musk?
He just smells strongly of like... A guy, I guess! A guy who spends a lot of time doing physically demanding things. It's a warm, vaguely sweet, slightly clammy smell. A little toasty if he spent a lot of time in the sun recently. It's not to everyone's taste - but if you're into a good ol waft of big-dude pheromone then you're in luck.
... And sometimes, he definitely does smell like sweat, oil and dirt, if not straight up viscera. The guy is both the designated hunter and first in line of combat after all, the occasional stink is inevitable. He practices basic hygiene to combat that and has at least a quick wash-rag bath every night in the absence of a tub.
And for whom it may concern, some people definitely enjoy taking deep whiff of this this fella when he's just ripe enough.
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dangopango00 · 5 months ago
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KISSES WITH HIM
Giving, Receiving, Misc (General-Beginning-Comfortable)
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Sports Characters x S/O!GN Reader
(Hyoma Chigiri, Kenma Kozume)
A/N: Random late night burst of productivity going crazy rn my heart is so full 🥹 love my long haired sports beloveds they’re both serving that black cat gf vibe but in different ways 
Also the misc is basically bout accessories n stuff; stuff that may or may not apply to you hc as well as yn wise 
Also messy bcos I haven’t slept um. Anyway, im sorry its so biased the thoughts were just flowing into my head my bad ill do better
HCS UTC
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Hyoma Chigiri:
{ GIVING
I swear this dude makes flustering you his personal goal and he definitely likes to kiss you when you least expect it for his own amusement as he likes the surprised face you make 
Life hack to get more kisses is stroke his ego because he will give in 100% of the time even if he knows you have an ulterior motive; his heart just feels so full when you praise him because he knows you mean it AND he’s confident in himself, so he knows it's true too 
Basically an angel during the beginning of your relationship like he’s still him of course but he doesn’t tease you as much and he’s gentler since he doesn’t know you intimately yet– quick soft kisses and a ghost of a touch
I don’t think there’d be a time where he’s really uncomfortable per se in your relationship as he’s already quite bold and I am subscribed to the Hyoma best friends to lovers agenda but I do think he’d be more playful/confident as time goes on and would start messing with you more intimately like nipping your lip a bit when kissing and teasing you more often (he thinks it's funny)
HUGE TEASE but also just a bit clingy in general. Like I said, he likes to fluster you for his own entertainment, so he definitely does fakeout kisses but sometimes he just wants to be close to you. For example, getting impossibly close to you and giving you a smirk vs resting his forehead on yours, letting his eyelids flutter shut are very different moods for him but tend to have the same effect on you
{ RECEIVING 
Will refuse kisses on his face during and shortly after skincare time but you’re allowed to kiss him all you want right before then and once the products have set into your skin (you def do your skincare together); Once he’s had enough gently presses his thumb to your lips and teases you, noting that you seem to be in a lovey dovey mood
Definitely easy to fluster in the beginning of your relationship since he isn’t used to your relationship being intimate and probably gets needy fast if the kiss grows passionate
I just know no matter what he was doing, this dude was always ready and waiting for a kiss; this especially applies if he’s getting ready to leave for a prolonged amount of time like for practice or whatever he may have to do and he keeps looking over checking where you are to see if he will get the kiss he so desires
Once he gets more comfortable, he’d love it if you were cheesier tbh. I think he would find cheesy romantic gestures silly and endearing as he enjoys the simple things. He just likes to know that you love him and that you mean it; ESPECIALLY likes when you put your own personal spin on a classic cheesy gesture like giving him a bouquet of handwritten love notes or books he’d like (Booket booket for my sweetiey 🥹)
Not a big fan of being peppered in kisses especially if you’re wearing lipgloss/stick/balm (sticky and messy) but he really enjoys seeing the way you smile at him– the way any tension in your face absolutely melts after you do it 
{ BONUS/MISC
A HUUUGEEE sucker for you running your hands through his hair as you kiss, it drives him up the wall; contrary to popular belief I really don’t think he would like you pulling on it. Bye. He’d make a face 
I’m not sure how actually committed I am to this HC bc I do in fact have vampire fever rn but just thought of him with slightly prominent canines (little fangies) I think it would be cute; he’d def kiss your cheek then nip it a bit for fun 
His skin is SOOOOOO soft, the most squishable face in the world and that extends to his lips. Feigns irritation when you squish his cheeks and kiss him, but he thinks it's silly; rolls his eyes 
If you have piercings, he would NOT stop kissing them; loves the cold of the metal against his lips, especially if it’s a lip piercing
If you have curly/wavy/coily hair he’d twist your hair around his finger when flirting with you before or after kissing you
If you are muscular or have some chub he’d love to feel you up while you kiss; when it comes to muscle of course he’d love to run his hands over your muscles (namely your chest and back) and when it comes to chub, he’d be a fan of smoothing his thumbs over your love handles (area right before where your thighs start– pelvis bone area)
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Kenma Kozume:
{ GIVING
He’s kinda in his own head so honestly, he probably wouldn’t be the initiator often even if you’ve been together for a while like he straight up forgets he can do that sometimes
DEFINITELY likes when you ask him to kiss you because it makes him feel needed; he’s always the one being needy for you, so he loves when you return the same energy for him because it reminds him that despite everything you do love him
You have to direct him a little bit in the beginning of your relationship bc he’ll just peck you and go back to what he was doing or linger hoping you’ll ask for more at most if you ask him for a kiss 😭 
Can’t stop smiling into the damn kiss once he gets comfortable in your relationship because he’s just so happy to be with you like going about his day is neutral but getting a kiss from you is something special for him 
When he does kiss you, he usually takes it very slow with chaste pecks on your cheeks and around your mouth until finally planting a gentle yet long lasting kiss directly on your lips
{ RECEIVING 
Is like a cat that gets a little overwhelmed at too much attention; scrunches his face if you kiss all over his face for too long, he’s not mad about it but he feels like his head will explode, evident by the wrinkle of his nose and by how tightly knitted his brows appear
Definitely a little insecure about his lips being chapped in the beginning of your relationship and lathers his mouth in chapstick before kissing you if he can help it
He even gets a bit nervous if you kiss him before he can get to it especially since your lips feel so nice to him while his are…meh
When he gets more comfortable in your relationship, he’d love it if you pulled on his clothes while kissing him like for example pulling him towards you by his collar or simply holding onto his clothes while kissing 
Huge fan of you kissing him while you’re both shirtless but it embarasses him so bad he would have a heart attack and a half, so he instead enjoys biting your shoulder from behind while you’re shirtless  
{ BONUS/MISC
I recently started hcing Kenma with like seasonal freckles at least so I think he’d be a big fan of you kissing them as he used to get made fun of for having them and often hid them if he could
Lwk likes it when you sneak up on him while he’s wearing his headphones and give him a kiss it’s like a treat especially if you do it when he’s about to get heated at a game he’s playing
This isn’t really a hc as he does have eyebags canonically butttt I think he would LOVE when you kiss his eyebags it never fails to make him smile and he doesn’t really know why, doesn’t really get why you do it in the first place either, but he enjoys it
If you have long nails, he’d be such a fan of you digging them into him a bit while you kiss (not too hard just enough to feel it)
If you wear sweetly scented smell goods (especially if it resembles the scent of freshly baked apple pie!!) it serves as a reminder that he should kiss you; pulls him out of his head for a bit 
If you wear jewelry, he’d subconsciously fiddle with some of your jewelry while you kiss, like holding your hands and twisting your rings a bit while you kiss or grazing over your earrings with his thumb
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ghost-proofbaby · 5 months ago
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It's summer for you, winter for me. Warm me up with strawberry fluff! As always, my muse, your muse, the one and only, Eddie.
Midsummer's night, because I don't have a lot to inspire you with. I'm thinking something cute but weird? Maybe some human body softness where Eddie is a bit of a freak and we love him for it. And we're told our bodies are lovely, even when they're doing weird shit.
I lalalove youuuuu. xo Rhi
RHI!!!! <3 i adore you. thank you for this prompt - i had far too many ideas for it, but ended up on settling for this one, which coincidentally feels like the most subtle of them all? either way, it definitely turned out being the softest. give me an eddie munson who just wants to sniff me like a dog. this definitely got a bit long but i hope you enjoy, my dear <3
the smell of you
warnings: weirdos in love? idk. i have a skewed sense of what is actually weird i think. mentions of death and coffins jokingly. eddie 'manhandles' reader sort of. not edited.
wc: 2.2k+
come enjoy a sweet summer treat with me <3
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“Eddie?”
The entire apartment is quiet – too quiet – as you drop your keys into the old crystal bowl on the counter. The clink resonates through the air, louder than the soft murmur of the stereo static you can hear from down the hall. 
“You dead?” you call out again, slipping off your running shoes and tossing down your headphones onto the counter as well now, “Do I need to call the coroner?” 
Your tone is lilted, teasing with airiness as you continue to wander deeper into the apartment and head straight for the room you know Eddie has to be in. Like the waves pulled by the moon, there’s an incessant string tied around one end of your soul that connects you to his, and you follow it all the way down the hallway. The bedroom door is wide open, and you can hear his mumbled yell of a response without clarity before you even cross the threshold. 
You wouldn’t have even needed him to verbally respond to find him in this tiny apartment. You two could get separated on the streets of a bustling city, of a buzzing New York sidewalk, and you still wouldn’t properly lose him. It’s more than just soul ties and his gravity that keeps you pulled to him. 
Something unspoken. Something homely. 
“Sorry, what was that?” you hum as you spy him face-down in the bed, pillow muting him by the mouthful, “Say it one more time, and this time not into the pillow.” 
When he finally properly turns over, he’s a vision. Sleep lines folded into his skin and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth, eyes squinting in irritation not at you but the sunlight flooding in through the bedroom window. Messy hair, messy shirt, messy everything. A kind of mess you just want to collapse into currently, curling up in all that he is from the day’s exhaustion. 
He’d mentioned wanting to take a nap before you’d left for the gym. Something about the summer heat draining him, trailing off as he’d rambled about how he’d probably thrive as a vampire. 
“I said,” he huffs, sitting up, the frizz of his hair becoming a makeshift halo, “If you call the coroner, request the comfiest coffin possible.”
“Why do you need a comfy coffin if you’re already dead?” 
“You dare deny me of being buried in tempurpedic memory foam? In my hour of need?” 
You roll your eyes as you huff out a little laugh, forcing yourself to turn away from him long enough to strip out of your socks. But just as you reach down for the pieces of clothing, you catch sight of the source of that stereo static flooding the room. 
Your shared record player, spinning a blood red pressing of one of your more recent vinyl purchases. The album has been played through, but the player no longer had an automatic stop mechanism, probably from years of use. 
The center of the record is probably scratched, and Eddie knows it, from how sheepish he looks when you glance over your shoulder at him. 
“Speaking of death,” you walk over quickly, purposefully, before carefully lifting the needle and cutting the static finally, “Care to explain why you’re burning scratches into my Momento Mori vinyl?” 
“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes, nearly flinging himself off the bed as he scooches quickly to the end, clearly fully awake now, “I put it on and thought I’d just lay down for a quick second, but then the bed was so comfy, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick nap, and then…” he trails off, looking up at you through his lashes with big eyes already pleading for forgiveness, “I’ll buy you a new one. Swear it.” 
It’s impossible to be mad at him when he’s looking like this, inhumanely soft and easily forgiven, “You’re lucky you’re cute, or you really would be dead.” 
He doesn’t respond with words, but instead the outstretch of his hands, fingers flexing as he beckons to you. The needle rests on its perch, the vinyl left behind to gather dust for a few extra moments, as you go straight to him. 
When his palms slip beneath your old t-shirt and meet your skin, they’re pleasantly warm. 
“You were right,” you admit as his knees spread, delegating even more room for you to stand in front of him as your hand wanders to cradle the side of his face, fingers tangling in sweaty curls from his rest. Your thumb mimics his on your own skin instinctively, tracing a large arch right up over his cheekbone, “It’s hot as balls outside.” 
“Told you so,” he murmurs, smiling softly in satisfaction as he leans lazily into your touch. 
“You did,” you agree quietly, half-entranced by his relaxed face, no sight of pride in the room currently. 
He resembles a cat as he continues to preen under your gentle hand, and you almost expect him to start purring right before you find the strength to pull away, removing his hands from where they'd wandered to your lower back. 
One swipe of his finger along your sweaty spine, and you’d remembered what your original intentions had been immediately upon getting home. 
“Wai- Where are you going?” he’s seemingly brought back down to Earth the moment he loses the pattern your thumb had been tracing, the press of your fingertips into his scalp. When he reaches back out to latch onto you again, you take a step back, “Get back here-”
“I need to shower,” you laugh, shaking your head and smacking his hands away as he continues to barter, “I’m all sweaty and smelly, let me go clean up and then we can nap togeth-” 
“You can shower after we nap,” he nearly whines, finally catching your shirt between his fingers and tugging, uncaring for if he stretches the fabric. A small price to pay to have you close to him, “C’mon, sweetheart. I know you’re just as exhausted as I am.” 
You swear you meant to take another step backwards, but somehow, you end up back between his knees, “Did you not hear me, Munson? I stink.”
“Good.” 
He doesn’t give you any time to react – in an instant, he’s throwing his face forward, burying it against your stomach as you let out a gasp and immediately try to pry him away with far too gentle of hands in his hair. 
“Eddie!”
If it were anyone else, you’d probably be mortified. But Eddie just takes a dramatic deep breath in, nose buried just shy of your belly button, and when his shoulders start to shake with muted laughter, you can’t stop the smile from breaking. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair, still pulling back in an attempt to get him away from you, but he’s resilient. 
And all your faux resistance is weak in comparison. Soon enough, you’re back to melting into him. 
Only once you’re relaxed once more, no sign of trying to pull away again any time soon as his hands once more evade the space beneath your shirt to wander up and down your sticky skin without a care in the world, does he lift his face away from you long enough to breathe and speak, “I’ll have you know – I love your stink.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious.” 
“You’re an idiot.” 
“I’m your idiot.” 
The game of banter is cut short when he goes back to pressing his nose into your clothes that surely can’t smell good. No amount of deodorant or perfume could erase that underlying stench of sweat. Hell, the shirt is still a bit moist from it all: from the walk to the gym, from your workout itself, from the walk home. It’d been through the ringer, and you’re back to tugging him away from you. 
“I refuse to believe you like how gross I smell right now,” you reinforce, eyes darting towards the bathroom connected to your master bedroom, “I promise I’ll be quick with the shower.” 
“Baby,” he fights back, wrapping his arms around you securely, no intention of losing this battle, “You remember that time we went to the fair, and you were complaining about how you were sweating, so I tried to lick your face?” 
Your nose scrunches quickly at the memory, “I do, unfortunately.”
“You really think I’d be willing to lick the sweat off your body but be afraid of you smelling a little bad while we cuddle?” his shoulders drop as he looks up at you, head tilted, almost as if amused with the conversation, “What kind of man do you take me for?” 
“The kind that gets off on annoying me.” 
His jaw drops, putting on a fake look of offense before he dramatically throws himself back onto the bed, laying flat as he makes a fist to mimic stabbing his chest, “You wound me.”
You’ve heard those words a thousand times in a hundred different ridiculous voices. You’ve seen this scene enough to have it mesmerized at this point, down to the over-exaggerated pout of his lips and the lingering of the fist against his sternum. 
You never grow tired of it. You never will. 
“Need me to kiss it better?” you joke as you prop a knee up on the bed, following the same script as always. 
And he hits his queue perfectly when he lifts his head eagerly at the expected response, wiggling his brows a bit. “Absolutely. Doctor’s orders, in fact.” 
“Great,” you see an opportunity, and take it, “I’ll get right to it, after my showe-” 
You don’t even get the final syllable of the word off your tongue before he’s clenching his thighs around your own, knees pressing hard before he wraps his legs the rest of the way around your waist to pull you in. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as you begin to fall forward, but Eddie is quick to break the fall with ease. Catching you with his eager hands, maneuvering for you to half drop to the mattress while some of you still lands atop of him. 
He has you right where he wants you, turning his head to be face to face with you, noses nearly brushing, “Unfortunately, the doc said you have to kiss it better now, or else you’ll be comfy coffin shopping.” 
“A fatal wound?” you gasp, nearly mocking him. It doesn’t offend him – if anything, his boyish grin only grows wider, “First, I’m smelly-”
“Again, I like when you’re smelly.”
“-And then I inflict a fatal wound upon my lover? Oh, how dare I.”
Slowly, all your insecurity of how you currently smell is simply fading. The entire ordeal has become an art of childlike, whimsical jokes – and Eddie is an artist. A professional at the dance, locked and loaded with his incomparable skill set equipped for disarming you this way. The ability to make someone feel loved, imperfections and weirdness aside. 
He likes you, even when you claim you don’t smell your best. And you like him, even when his hair is tangled beyond recognition and one of his socks is half-hanging off his foot from a nap.
You like him when he’s embarrassing you in public, tongue chasing after you with the threat of licking your sweat away, and he likes you when all you can do in response is a weak palm to his chest (that isn’t even making an effort to push him away) as you giggle relentlessly. 
You like each other on the good days, the bad days, the weird days. 
Disarmed entirely, you don’t even notice when his face conveniently slots itself far too close to your armpit as you two scooch further up into the bed. You’re more occupied with the way your legs tangle up, toeing each other’s socks off properly as he slings a heavy arm across your torso. 
“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets,” you mumble, exhaustion catching up as the two of you finally settle. 
He hums absentmindedly, nuzzling into your skin a bit further as he makes himself comfortable. “And wash away your sweet, sweet stink? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” 
“Oh, fuck off,” you laugh, unbothered as your fingers start to trail up and down his back over the t-shirt, smoothing out wrinkles along the way, “I’m serious. We need to change them soon anyways, I think I got crumbs in the bed the other night with those crackers.” 
“Bury me in the crumbs of all your midnight snacks,” he almost slurs, clearly drifting back off. 
You snort in response, relaxing and letting your own eyes shut. Matching all your deep breaths with his own, a million different last words crossing your mind to whisper to the boy you’re sure is once again asleep. 
I love you.
I adore you. 
I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. 
And maybe some of those unspoken thoughts slip out without you realizing, because he squeezes you just a little bit tighter, presses his face just a little bit deeper into your skin as his scruff tickles you. 
The only actual thought you can know for certain that you say, though, is, “Do you think they actually make coffins with memory foam inside?” 
To your surprise, even despite the almost-snores that had been escaping him, he answers in a heartbeat. 
“Oh, definitely. We’ll order two.”
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nappingpaperclip · 7 months ago
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y’all we r not beating exorsexism and misogyny by calling every transmasc that pisses u off a ‘theyfab.’ Idc if they are annoying or have dumbass opinions, literally using someone’s agab as an insult is wrong and treating transmascs as annoying little afabs is deeply misogynistic and transphobic. What happened to just calling people fucking idiots
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purpleminte · 9 days ago
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She says hi 🦇
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bevioletskies · 6 months ago
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kongthap & atom + favorite moments (in no particular order)
“Home Economics Club is making something to sell on Valentine’s Day. Can you help us choose?”
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snekdood · 1 year ago
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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vampirejuno · 3 days ago
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I had a weirdass discworld dream where they had a new distinction for days, idk what else to call it. Like you'd have the usual - day of the week, date of the year etc - but now they also had a third thing, they were called Left Days and Right Days. And the way you could tell if it was a Left Day or a Right Day was, you'd take a small fish, preferably a sardine, you'd throw it in the air, and see how it landed.
At first people in Ankh-Morpork were all throwing their own fish, which of course caused much argument. So eventually Vetinari employed an official* Fish Thrower, who'd go out into Sator Square every morning, throw a sardine, and announce to the populace something like "today is the fourth of May, a Left Sunday" and several hundred people watching would groan** and go about their activities. The Times would print it in their daily paper too. There were rumors that this Fish Thrower was an ex-magician who specialized in sleight of hand and purposefully threw the fish to the patrician's specifications every morning.
Also, CMOT Dibbler started selling his own "Always Right Fish, Guaranteed Day Goes Right, Three For Tuppence And That's Cutting My Own Throat!", which all had the left half cut off and replaced with a glued-on right half of another fish. Incidentally, around the same time he also started selling a shitton of fish n chips.
* offishal?
** Left Days were considered worse than Right Days. The general population of Ankh-Morpork had a very straightforward, and superstitious, understanding of adjectives.
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chaos-potat · 6 months ago
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Part 1/8
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