#what i wouldnt give to have some actual hope for the economy

[baconcolacan]

damn I get you a lot, as a fellow 3rd country citizen, whose country is in a deep economic crises and has a dictator who people still love even tho he fucked us up with all of these struggling with mental health is sometimes difficult. I hope you get better as much as you can

Gosh, thank you so much. Yeah, seems us 3rd country peepos just have the worst stroke of luck huh?? Hahaha, I laugh but man its difficult sometimes.

But thanks again, I’m doing well enough, job doesnt pay much but yknow, economic crisis, dictator-tied president. The works and such, I’m hangin’ in there.

[dateamonster]

webcomics*! webcomics baby!!! i grew up reading these bad boys like they were the sunday funnies. im serious i would get up early in so i could check my daily roster of webcomic updates before leaving for school.

webcomics sort of feel to me like my generations version of zines. not that both those things arent still around, i just mean that, in the same way that there was this big boom of super creative zine self-publishing in the 70s through the 90s thanks to the increasing access to copy machines, and later home printing, the early 00s-10s was sort of the moment people seemed to collectively realize they could kind of just upload whatever they wanted to the internet and people would actually see it, leading naturally to another boom in indie art and storytelling.

a lot of the comics that popped up around this time were sort of... rough. raw. weird. there were no rules about what a webcomic had to be other than 1) a comic and 2) on the web, so there was some freedom to be as messy or as precise as the author wanted. this led to some real bangers, and some absolute flops. but regardless of how it turned out i think theres something to be admired about the sheer amount of creativity going into these projects that, for the most part, were purely passion-driven without any guarantee of greater recognition or success.

obviously webcomics are still around, but the culture surrounding them has shifted quite a bit. most people who are willing to put in the work of a longform serialized comic In This Economy are also doing so with the hope of being able to profit or at least sustain themselves financially on their work. theres no shame in that! but it has made the webcomic scene more competitive, more polished, less experimental. capitalism at work, you know.

people arent really as incentivized to try new things and dare i say get a little weird with it when innovation doesnt pay the pills. however that doesnt mean that there arent still artists out there who are challenging that.

i got the idea a while ago that i wanted to put together a list of webcomics that have been really influential to me and my own creative efforts, but i realized that list would be a mile long and wouldnt really give me the breathing room to talk about why those works resonate with me. so i decided instead to make a list specifically of my (currently) most beloved, most influential webcomics that i feel like are doing something unique that sort of pushes the boundaries of what is considered a "normal" comic.

presented in no particular order, with all attempts made to be spoiler-free, below:

nasty red dogs and feast for a king by kosmicdream (18+)

delicious, dark, meaty comics. ffak in particular is like this massive sprawling scifi stream of consciousness thick with blood and viscera and. a lot of highly transsexual erotic cannibalism tbqh.

personally i find nasty red dogs a lot more like easy to get into story-wise, but both are just chockablock full of this beautiful grotesque unapologetic and downright indulgent physicality. its pages dripping with every fluid you can think of and some you cant, and its also compelling surprisingly empathetic characters set against a backdrop of otherworldly rituals, cosmic pre-apocolypses, and worlds inside of worlds inside of worlds. body horror heaven lives here.

mr boop and crimehot by alec robbins (very 18+)

if youre at all into weird webcomics youre probably already well familiar with mr boop, and if you arent theres really nothing i can say other than Please give it a shot, but if you havent been keeping up with alecs work since then you might not be as familiar with his current project crimehot. and thats a damn shame because it is all the comedy, unabashed horniness, and surprisingly understated storytelling of mr boop taken to its absolute max.

crimehot is set in a future where nearly every aspect of human life and culture is controlled by an all-powerful all-seeing computer algorithm. but who cares about all that when theres a ragtag team of ultra sexy ultra horny master thieves going on wacky little misadventures together!

alecs style is blunt and simplistic in a way that comes off as juvenile at first glance, and then uses that presumption to completely blindside you with its actual content, reminding me weirdly enough of memeable classic tails gets trolled. in spite of their potential as works of ironic comedy however alecs comics really give me this impression of total earnestness. crimehot in particular is so blatantly un-erotic, with its complete lack of any subtlety, comically exaggerated (and surprisingly diagetic) anatomy, and impossible physical positions, that it circles back around into becoming, indeed, kind of hot. i think silliness can be hot so sue me!

blind alley by adam de souza

departing completely from my last couple recs, blind alley is a cozy, peanuts-inspired comic strip about the day to day lives of the children of blind alley. its also occasionally a deeply unsettling horror-mystery that has just barely begun to show its hand more than two years in. its distinguishing factor to me comes from the fact that the cozy exterior doesnt seem to be there to conceal or divert your attention away from the growing sense of unease that infiltrates its panels on an increasingly frequent basis as the story progresses. it feels more like the two elements live side by side, horror and mundanity, otherworldly creatures and secret conspiracies living peacefully alongside lazy summer afternoons and goofing off with your friends. it perfectly captures the anxiety of knowing that theres something the grown-ups arent telling you, the powerlessness of being a kid.

blind alley feels to me sort of like if those "what if Nostalgic Cartoon was secretly DARK" media theories were actually real, and actually scary. i might be getting ahead of myself as the series likes to take its time and is really only just starting to peel back the layers, but what ive read so far feels makes me feel like this could be something very special.

boy island by leo fox

beautiful beautiful beautiful first of all. the dreamy, surreal visuals? the colors?? oujhjh.. boy island is set in a world split violently in two, divided into boy island and girl island, and surrounded on all sides by a sea of monsters mutants and ghosts, those sorry souls who committed the trespass of trying to cross from one land to the other, or even live outside of either! a boy named lucille must strike out on his own to make it to boy island, but in doing so begins to discover things about the world and in fact himself that reveal an even greater mission.

im making this all sound very dramatic. its a trans story. its about trans people, being trans. its also about surviving the ripples of a world laid out for you by your parents, managing grief for the ones that didnt, and a funny little blue guy named jounce. also did i mention its gorgeous? hot fuckin diggity it is gooorgeous.

vivians ghost by hal schrieve (18+)

speaking of trans comics!! (plot twist: theyre all trans comics suckerrrr) look, all of hals comics are fucking baller and im sure the book zes got coming out will be too, but ive like Imprinted on this one. its attached itself my brain. much like the main protagonist collin has been attached to by his suicide victim best friend and ex highschool bf viv!

the sketchy art style threw me off at first but it quickly becomes part of the charm and meshes very well with the chaotic pace and gutpunch emotional moments. theres a strong element of magical realism that i honestly think comics as a medium were made for. viv is a ghost, and viv is grief, and guilt, and fantasy, and shame, and glorious trans revenge taken form, and hes not even the only apparition in this story, taking the stage alongside cameos by jesus christ, a detransitioners fursona, almanda palmer, and (checks notes) gonzo for a second there i think.

as a disclaimer (or incentive, depending) no one in this story i think is someone you could really call a good person. some of them are in fact plainly terrible. they are all so undeniably fucking fascinating though. and viv himself gleefully inhabits that moral gray area, deliberately and loudly disturbing any image of himself as a pure perfect victim, blurring lines and thrusting both the characters and audience out of their comfort zone. its a challenging read thats not going to be everyone for sure, but i definitely think its worth the read.

(and if this sounds interesting to you but youre not sure you can handle it, hal has other equally good comics that are still heavy on the trans gay relationship drama but much lighter on the childhood trauma.)

what happens next by maximumgraves

if youre reading this on tumblr i hope that youve at least heard of what happens next by now. thee seminal tumblrina art of our time i swear. it starts with a true crime podcast exploring the strange story of griffin and his accomplice milo, trans teen murderers, the latter of which has since been released from the psych hospital while the former continues to serve his sentence. but thats in the past, and in the present milo still has to figure out how to live the rest of his life.

the story moves rapidly, though not necessarily chronologically, in and out of the real world and the online lives its characters frequently inhabit like its guiding you through a twisted dream. its a comic on the internet about the internet from someone clearly well aware of its more poisonous aspects, as well as the addictive quality it can have for someone who has become otherwise isolated from the world.

at the end of the day though the major appeal i think is the characters, how messy and horrible and tragic they can be, which is all you can really hope for from a largely character-driven narrative. to say much more i think would ruin the experience, but ill say what happens next absolutely delivers on its ominous title, and im waiting on the edge of my seat for the next chapter.

preeny has to repeat 6th grade by momodriller

on a Much lighter note, preeny has to repeat 6th grade is a super cute adventure series about a magical little kitty named preeny who on her first day of sixth grade is called upon to go on a great mission. its a sparklefur comic!! ive been really starting to dive into furry art lately, and if youre the kind of person who raises an eyebrow at that statement, fine, whatever, but im talking to the cool people right now so keep it to yourself.

art from within the furry subculture is such insanely creative and passionate stuff, and the focus on this subset in particular, calling back to the early 2000s deviantart xD rAWR s0 rand0m era of online culture, feels so intensely nostalgic it makes my chest ache, despite never being heavily involved in the sparklefur scene myself.

the author states in the comics description that the story takes inspiration from her experiences as an autistic child, and even before reading that man i felt it. what really makes this comic unique to me though is that the majority of characters that appear are based on adoptables the author purchased off of, as she puts it, the children of deviantart. i LOVE that. not only is that probably amazing for the kids, it makes every character feel truly unique and adds perfectly to the overall flavor of the world shes created. there is just not another comic i can think of that feels alive like this one.

broccoli soup by secretpie

ok so i know how we might feel about webtoon comics but hear me out. broccoli soup is probably the first comic ive seen to really exploit the otherwise sort of bland and restrictive format of webtoons, utilizing the excess of white space to enhance the feeling of emptiness that characterizes the protagonist broccoli's time in the blank void they call home as well as to make the sparse use of color really pop in contrast.

broccoli soup is a mysterious series thats a little hard to pin down in terms of genre. a strange little being named broccoli spends their days in a vast blankness drinking tea with their loving yet highly suspicious Best Friend and benefactor, doris. doris has the ability to move between worlds, coming and going as she pleases, while broccoli is only allowed to leave when they are on a mission on her behalf. these missions vary, but the goal is always the same: make everything Polite and Good.

as the story progresses, little by little more friends and more color come into broccolis still new existence. the art style also changes from world to world, which imo is a very nice touch. and! theres music! its an interesting project that dances back and forth between fantastical whimsy and some surprisingly dark moments. and thats the shit i like to see.

thats all for now! though if im lucky there will be many more fun stories and projects to talk about in the future. keep in mind as well that this is like barely half of all the webcomics im currently reading, just the ones that most stick out to me as really doing something special.

until next time yall!!

oh wait sike honorable mentions time

awful hospital by bogleech

the only reason this isnt up there with the rest is bc im woefully behind at the moment. ill get back to it eventually! awful hospital is an interactive multimedia horror-comedy webcomic about a hospital that is. well this hospital is simply sub-par to say the least.

hedgehog's dilemma by mellodilla

this ones still a little new to say much on but so far it looks like a cute series. what most appeals to me is that the art style looks like something that fit in seamlessly with an early 90s newspaper comic strip. in particular it has a strong calvin and hobbes vibe to me. just, you know, about wacky lil lesbian animals living their lives.

ok now im done for real

*for clarity's sake, im using webcomic here to mean "a series of comics that was first published and predominantly exists online" so even if a print version exists, i still consider it to be first and foremost a webcomic. this also includes comics that contain a multimedia or interactive element. if its a combination of pictures and words to tell a story, its a comic.

also my list is probably going to end up massively favoring serialized fiction because thats just what i like to read, but i dont necessarily think thats a required element.

[minzart]

I SAID I WOULD CAME BACK

Family day with family update

(Might have mistakes)

Danna and Yuu having the best time at NRC

Vargas: Don't they look familiar?

Crewel: Actually, they strangely do

Sam: They remind me of...

*The mirror actvates again with Ren and Caroline bringing an embarrassed Hector along*

Ren: I told you it was today

Hector: I am sorry, I thought it was next week...

Caroline: Didn't thought I would miss this place...

Vargas, Sam, Crewel and some previous students: This can't be happening

Trein, Crowley and students: Welcome to the club 🍻 (thats juice)

Crowley goes to give a speech but keeps pausing and trying to keep his laughs in but Danna keeps making gestures and faces to him so he messes up

Trein is also almost breaking up because she is sitting next to him and whispering inside jokes

Trein under his breath: You better Stop.

(They just missed their friend)

Hector: I dont know why everyone thinks I was the bad influence when I wasnt the one who almost ran over a kohai in the school field with a "borrowed" car!

Crewel:...

Hector: I was in the car but still

Vargas: *war flashbacks*

Crowley and Trein who had no idea this even happend: ಠಿ_ಠ

Hector: So you are telling me that you and Trein snuck up kitten Lucios and just kept him?

Danna: It wasnt hard to convince Crowley to it

Hector: When I tried to bring a puppy with Crewel and Vargas once we ended up in cleaning detention

Danna: Oh my dear son *pats him* these are times where now who the smarter one is

Hector: Mom!

Danna: Suck it up

Ren sneaks behind Sam and hugs him: DIBS!

Sam: WHAT? THATS MY LINE!

Trappola: And here I was thinking I wouldnt third wheel for these two anymore

Hector refering to Crewels coat: you wear this at class?

Crewel: Yeah! Why I wouldnt wear it?

Hector: I thought you didn't like your things to get dirty since we did that complicated potion that spilled all over the classroom and –

Crewel: That was ONE TIME!

Ren: Cool! you still got your business in school!?

Sam: Its easier when you dont have to hide it from the teachers

Staff: You what now!?

Ren picks up a crossbow at Sam's shop: Sam, is this mine?

Sam: No...

Ren: I've been looking for this for... Years now

*Sam beliving it because he can't remember where all of his itens came from*

*Ren checking the crossbow*

Sam: is that yours?

Ren smirking: It is now bitch *runs away*

Hector: This is my friend–

Caroline: You might be Crewel, nice to meet you

Crewel: How do you know my name?

Caroline: I was married to your famboy

*Turns to Hector*

Caroline: Are you blind? How did you let that one go??

Hector: your coat is amazing! *Touches* and so soft too did you made it?

Staff: oh no, he's dead

Crewel embarrassed: Yeah it isnt that hard...

Staff: How did he not die!?

Hector: I remember you saying I would get one of your pieces one day mister fashionista

Danna, Caroline, Ren and Yuu: Make his pockets hurt!

Yuu: These are my friends Deuce and Ace

Ren: they look like cool– WAIT A SEC

Braincell trio: ?

Ren: You befriended a mini Trappola??

Yuu: Yeah?

Ren: In this economy!?

Caroline catching up with Azul's mom: So I told myself that if I didn't became a star by 35 I was just gonna become a serial killer

Mrs. Ashengrotto: How old are you? Im getting nervous!

Caroline : Oh Yuu is at that very special age when a teen has only one thing on their mind...

*Yuu Running in the background with a manic laugh*

Caroline: Arson

*Hector walks up to Farena*

Hector: Farena is that you? How are you doing

Yuu and Ren: No!

Hector: You have kids? How great!

Yuu and Ren: The dad talk!

Yuu walking off: Im out

Hector: is that your little brother Leona?

*Ren pulls Yuu back by their shirt*

Hector: Its been so long since I last saw you I remember you when you where little

Yuu and Ren: hehehe

Im really scared by this because I didn't mean this to be this long anyways hope you liked it

HELLO DON'T BE SCARED THIS IS SO PERFECT

YOU KILELD ME I DIDN'T THINK I COULD FALL IN LOVE MORE WITH THOSE OCS BUT YOU PROVED ME WRONG OH GOD MY HEART

I kin Ace's brother being a third weel is ass

MINI TRAPPOLA? IN THIS ECONOMY??? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THOUGH

I LOVE DANNA SO MUCH

I love how you made Trein, Crowley and Danna's friendship it's so wholesome MY HEARTH CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH SUGAR

VARGAS' WAS FLASHBACK XD

Ren and Sam are so cute AND THE BUSINES STILL TUNNING IS HILARIOUS AMAZING

I stand Caroline

[bakerui-blog]

Rise above the stereotype

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[tumblunni]

Oh and just to clarify that the long time it took for me to get this surgery isnt a sign the nhs is bad or anything! I just had complications due to my life situation. Cos of my autism and anxiety i REALLY REALLY cant cope with having surgery done on me while im awake, even if im numbed up. The panic reaction is so strong and involuntary that i cant stop shaking and risk messing up the surgery becaue of it, not to mention the chamce of doing worse damage to myself in a panic attack. So i had to specifically be sent to the main hospital and receive overnight anesthetic, and i had to have a longer stay than usual because i live alone with no parents or lifr partner who could watch over me during my recovery. So the actual surgery itself just took three hours and the worst part was the anxiety of having to wait about 18 more hours in a busy hospital feeling perfectly fine but unable to go home until the observation period had passed and also til i was able to get a lift home with my psychologist. I am SO grateful she was able to support me with this!! So yeah i basically had to have the ultra deluxe complicated version of the regular surgery which also had to correlate with a time my psychologist would be free, and thats why ut was hard for them to find a time to schedule it. And most of the waiting was initially because of me being a dumbass and being too afraid to tell anyone i was in pain and too afraid to go to the doctor. I think it must have been almost four years of that? And then it was just a two year wait of going thru pre-assessments and waiting for a time slot for this final full operation. Which is still a frustrating time to wait but i understand tat the circumstances made it difficukt and also this isnt really an emergency surgery so yeah. I was just making a lot of frustrated posts about it over the last few years cos the waiting PROCESS is really bad, yknow? You barely get any information on how long you have to wait, its just all left up in the air that it could be any time in the next year and yoy'll get a very short notice letter right when its about to happen and npthing else for months at a time. And the automated phone service is badly made and yeah basically just a bunch of lame decisions made by the accounting section of the company that ended up increasing my anxiety, lol.

But seriously id way rather have this than having "only if you can pay for it" surgery! I mean when i finally got there it was all SO amazing and hi tech and highly staffed and everyone was so nice and it was all so fast and efficient and really comfy and everyone made you feel at home and you got a private cubicle with a lockable door and free food like 5 times a day like holy shit they wouldnt stop giving me The Best Toast In The World and my throat hurt but i felt it woulf be impolute to not Honor Their Toastly Kindness! So many of my worries about the experience were totally unfounded dumb hollywood myths that dont happen at all in british hospitals. And they still manage to run such a well oiled machine of amazing professionals and above excellent patient service despite how bad our economy is right now! I overheard them talking about jow their budget is lower ths year and i was like "holy shit but you guys are so amazong?? How do you manage??" I cant even imagine what it must have been like back when doctors got better salaries! Seriously they just WOULD NOT STOP PAMPERING ME it was so WEIRD!!! Comfy adjustable beds and reclining super soft sofa and this whole personal room and people coming in with trolleys full of a wide selection of really damn amazing breakfast foods and they even gave you special comfort socks for the long time of bed rest to avoid ankle swelling and they were like friggin cinderella scene insisting on putting the socks on for you?? I felt so embarassed in the good way for once! Blushing cos it was total prince treatment! And none of that "oh drugs are so expensive you have to go without necessary medicine in order to pay the bills" shit, they kept offering me optional medicines thatd make every part of the surgery easier and were like "please dont worry about accepting them, its the government's job to make sure youre free of pain so just be honest if youre feeling bad". But seriously the surgery was all so swift and done with great precision and i had such kind care and warm drinks and SO MUCH JAM ON MY TOAST that i felt like my mouth was okay even without the extra painkiller dose. And then i expected id just have to buy my own paracetamol once i was discharged from surgery but they gave me a big box of extra strength jaw surgery specific paracetamol for free! All of this was free! I got free goddamn cosmetic reconstruction on my teeth that i never even asked for and i was like holy shit when i looked in the mirror lol. I just expected everything to be gone but they put this reconstructive cap thing to replace the front teeth just jn case i was worried about the appearance of the gap between them. And SO MUCH goddamn free food holy shit im so toasted out! And free tv and wifi and showers and a warm comfy sofa and just a nice day of chilling out in a very weird sort of luxury hotel, lol. And the gift shop was also super cheap and full of necessities! And the nurse was so kind that i was able to hand her the money and she went to the gift shop for me when i was too dizzy to walk. I needed new headphones cos mine broke on the way there, and she got me a staff discount on them and picked out the cutest best pair! UNICORN DRAGON PATTERN!! Im gonna keep them FOREVER holy shit they look so cool and for a £1 discount pack they have sonmuch better sound quality and noise cancellation than the more expensive ones i had before. And the whole gesture just really touched me, it cheered me up so much to have a giggle at some adorable fashion headphones and see my nurse jamming along to ed sheeran to test that they worked, and she was just so sassy and jokey and we even had a contest between all of the nurses comparing our silly socks! Seriously it was just SO welcoming and unscary and had a lot more privacy than i expected and a lot less heavy restrictions and stuff and jusy EVERYONE WAS SO NICE AND SO GOOD AT THEIR JOB and did i mention THE BEST TOAST EVER

So yeah i dont think im scared of hospitals anymore. And i feel guilty about all the panicky posts i made before i went in for this operation, i hope i didnt give anyone the wrong impression that i was some longknowing person making factual complaints about the nhs as opposed to a first time hospital visitor with anxiety who was imagining every possible way it could go wrong. Absolutely none of my fears happened and it was way nicer than i ever imagined! Im kinda looking forward to the followup appointment in 2 weeks just so i can say thank you again and also have more money to buy some spares of those good headphones from the gift shop.

I hope everyone else out there who has to deal with medical disasters gets doctors just as nice as these ones!!!

[thebluewing]

nightwing 44

Ok, so i have mixed feelings about this. There are things that really bothered me, but there are also things that i absolutely loved. Curiously, the things i didn´t like all happened i the first half, so i loved the rest.

I´ll start with the bad:

   -Bludhaven is a very poor ciyty, but somehow everybody has managed to acquire a very expensive piece of technology that can do almost anything. By the end of the untouchable arc, the city was in a serious crisis because the economy was based on the cassinos and they were all closing  And now we find ourselfs in a situation where everyone has access to that technology  and nobodyhas told us how we went from one point to the other.

   - There are several pieces of dialogue that Dick wouldnt have said, like the whole “i wish i could punch technology in the face”, Yes, Dick has never worked a lot with tech and has allways asked for help to Babs or Tim for the technological stuff. However, he hasn´t shown any dislike for it either. Percy uses some of Dick´s traits, like the fact that he prefers direct contact with people or how growing up in a circus gave hin a different outlook in life, and exagerates them to make a point. As a result, we have to much exposition and several quotes that can be considered OOC.

   - There are some comparisons and refferences to batman that bother me. Percy is clearly taking inspiration from the original nightwing run, in that aspect. The problem is that here it doesn´t work. Back in the day, Dick and Bruce were at odds and Dick was striking out by himself for the first time, so it made sense that he thought about it. Here, Dick has a good relationship with Bruce and nothing to prove, so it really feels out of place.

Now the stuff i loved:

   - There are some increidibly funny moments in this issue. Dick´s sense of humor has allways been pretty sarcastic and clever. Sincé the new 52 they tried to make him less sarcastic and more quipy, so it was nice to see his old humor back. In those moments it sounded a lot like Dick Grayson.

   - BARBARA. Thank you Benjamin Percy for finally giving us a version of Babs that actually reminds me of her pre 52 self. She was inteligent, sarcastic, proffessional and didn´t give Dick a break. She was working and was already a step before him ( she had already done what he was about to ask), THIS IS MY BABS.

   - Dcik and Babs interactions were great. Their banter and flirting really reminded me of their old conversations when she was Oracle. This is exactly the knid of dickbabs i have wanted to see for a long time.

   - Dick´s interaction with the detective was also very good, and funny as hell. I really enyoyed that whole scene and the way it showed how clever Dick is and how, even if he cracks jokes, he is also completel concentrated.

   - the end was great. It really made me want to know how the story follows and how Dick is going to deal with things.

In conclusión: it has some things i adored and some that made me mad. However i understand that a lot of the bad stuff comes from Percy´s need of giving us exposition. I wish he had handdled it in a different way, but the issue did get much better. I really think the next issue will solve some of this problems so i have hopes for this arc.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

its just wild idk how to say the experience of just like...it being a wholeass fixture in your life that you’re gonna off urself...i guess in earlier times (almost been aware of being suicidal for a whole decade babes) it was also that i just...like assumed that my future was gonna involve some whole disaster that was going to wreck the whole damn thing idk. like i always knew i didnt have the kinda situation where i had somebody to fall back on no matter what & i did very much know that i had the kinda situation where if it looked like the identity ppl thought i had fell through and it turned out i wasnt thriving in all of this and actually just kinda miserable and on my own, instead of having ppl who would be There For Me No Matter What i had the ppl who would want nothing to do w me except for further beat me down..........so yeah i guess ive been feeling like my future was only Doom since like 12 def...maybe earlier if you look at it idk its like wondering when i was starting being depressed fulltime. probs like age 3 idk

anyhow the point is....hard to explain what its like having the constant sense that you don’t have a future thats good & in your control & something you want, or that even exists right. like sometimes i imagine thinking abt the future in the ways that other ppl might, in the way that you assume you’ve got a good while and that there’s things you’ll get to do that you like or you’ll pursue your ambitions or whatever and its weird i think about it for like 3.3 sec and its like tf.........its like when you get some kinda Aroma Memory where your brain remembers that smell from 18.6 yrs ago & you have a 0.62second window to try to think of where its from while you have some fleeting visual/emotive memory.......sometimes i’ll just have some kinda emotional echo from a less depressed life and its like ?????? havent had this feeling in this exact way for a minute. its weird its like lol this doesnt belong to me anymore..

anyways for another solid like.....6-7 yrs its been kind of “i’ll be surprised if i make it another yr alive” with various ups & downs in that level of surprise along the way.....more like a Down lately lmao its wild how impossible it seems to make it a few more days or weeks when youre having a worse day than usual, having an on avg Worse period that lasts for months & months and etc is just....wild baby. if you havent felt it for even a day its not something you can really imagine. if u know what its like to feel like ur gonna die for a longterm period then you know what it is..

like always, maybe this is my year baby!!! in terms of death. if im thinking abt maybe this is the year i suddenly Succeed on all fronts and i never again have to think about kms, then that’ll be a struck-by-lighting, same-shuffled-card-deck-order twice in a row, sheer chance out of nowhere. your life isnt steered towards goodness because you’re good enough or Only As Much As You Can Handle or anything and ive been too deep in it this whole time to have ever been set up to not get the rug pulled out from under me several times over and yknow once you fall down even once, unless you’re really solidly backed up, the odds arent in your favor about not getting continuously run over the rest of the time. wind isn’t really at ur back there.

like im so glad abt every person ive run into who ive had in my life for more than like 5 hrs and im lucky that i was at least born recently enough to have had the internet/texting mostly regularly from 14 y.o. onward.....if i didnt im sure i wouldve been......even so much more isolated than i was. l o l . . . . ive got to feel like some ppl care abt me which is nice and didnt happen too much before then. its also good i draw lmao coz besides for the most part thats how i talk the best & how i get in touch w most of the ppl who end up sticking around enough i talk to more than like a couple of times.....but tho of course ive never like, found arbitrary success in terms of either my own solo financial boon to transcend any and all problems or ever just like bonding w a bunch of ppl like ride or die for life baby. coz like.....why would i do either. if you werent born into financial stability, let alone wealth, and if you didnt just happen to pick up these deep unshakeable relationships along the way at times when it didnt really matter.....good luck picking those things up further along the way when stuffs even shittier. i may’ve been lucky w the internet/texting timing but i wasnt lucky w the financial crisis hit or really just being born after the 80s, economy wise......or lucky w being isolated socially since age 4 and always having to feel distanced from ppl coz i could sense the difference & stigma of being someone abused & miserable before i was even really that self aware of the extent of those things about me.........oh well. coz again w the internet and me happening to draw enough prior to age 14 that i was always considered “good” at it, and then finding that i like to draw fanart for myself lol....so i could at least connect w ppl some ways right. or via text posts sometimes lmao....and im lucky that the ‘net / having a phone gave me a medium for those things & being connected to some ppl. and im lucky im gay & not cis & got to figure that out & enjoy it coz thats the best thing abt me.......

anyways even if say life was perfect for me magically i still wouldnt be able to relate to seeing yourself pursue your ambitions coz like i always say...ive never really had those lmao. wasnt able to baby.....its like there’s always that idea that ppl whose life is defined by Survival, who’ve been exposed to trauma &/or abused, that if you drop them into a safe stable situation w/friends and all and whatever then suddenly they’ll be a “regular” person, like there’s some inherent core of everyone where they Know what its like to get to live in a healthy environment w a certain perspective on other ppl & how they’ll treat you, and if you just remove someone from bs they’ll just shift over to that Default that is like oh lol yeah im like everybody else. like nah its a whole different kind of world / life you’ve not even necessarily adapted to, maybe its what you grew in. and you can adapt to a better life & grow further in that but its not a matter of like “washing away” what came before....it can be an entirely separate thing. like if you haven’t experienced it you cant imagine it. i cant give someone a real sense of what its like to grow up within & live in an abusive place for decades. and i can’t guess who i would be if i’d grown up / lived in a completely different, better situation. coz thats a whole fundamental change from the start. it’d be such a different person that it wouldn’t even make sense to call it an alternate version of “me.”

well anyways i always feel like i’m bound to kms & that bad things are impending sooner than later & when they happen i’ll get a new set of incoming bad shit to feel bearing down & etc & i dont have things i want except a cessation of living under dread & feeling like my existence is in the way & theres ppl around i gotta be on my guard for & i’m only gonna kms eventually here, theres a long lifespan & for being to off yourself at any given time, also im jealous of ppl who’ve had a nicely sized friend group where they’ve always been able to hang out w one person at least whenever they wanted to / needed to. at least i’m gay, baby. i honestly do feel like that tweet where its like i cant kill myself b/c what if im a straight guy in my next life? @ god i cant do it. like lmao for real though......in my past life maybe i was an 80s gay. syke if i have a past life it was probably a cat. maybe a cat of an 80s gay. i can only hope

[demoisverysexy]

A couple of points:

First, Engles owned a factory, yet was one of the founding thinkers of Marxism, who funded Marx and helped him write several of his books and pamphlets. So theres that.

People have known Hasan is a millionaire for some time, its not news.

Also, being a class traitor is a thing that you can do. And being successful and making money is not in and of itself a bad thing. It is the exploitation of labor that is bad. Do you really think that a guy sitting around and getting rich by people giving him money to voice his opinions on politics is evil?

And what about leftist college professors, writers, etc. Are those people grifters? A lot of marxist thinkers wouldnt have been able to spread their ideas if they hadnt been able to make money somehow. And if they were able to make extra money, good for them.

Sometimes I wonder if people have actually watched leftist content creators that make money off of their content before getting mad at them for making money off of it. Like, we live in an economy where in order to live you have to make money. Isnt it only a good thing that some people can make money while advocating for leftist positions? And that they have a reach and influence wide enough to maybe make a positive impact?

Or do we care more about some perceived notion of purity?

I am genuinely confused by the anger people have here over this. It isnt productive, and it seems like its ignoring actual issues.

I hope i havent overstepped any boundaries here. Im curious to hear what people think about this.

some breadtube grift streamer (by the name of HasanAbi) was revealed to be a millionaire recently and the takes coming out are absolutely amazing. a ton of ‘you’re just jealous of his immense wealth you dirty socialist’ takes but my favourite are the ‘millionaires aren’t the real enemy, billionaires are!’ ones

‘policing’ billionaires is fine. non-billionaires, including millionaires? no

dude is also the nephew of cenk uygur, which is hilarious fdhgfdg. well, good thing we already just had the whole debate over whether millionaire celebrity entertainers are our class allies, right? :^)

[classycollectorartisanposts-blog]

Does an insurance consultant in Massachusetts need to be licensed?

"Does an insurance consultant in Massachusetts need to be licensed?

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What is the cheapest car insurance company in orlando?

Health Insurance: Duplicate Coverage?

I have a job where my health insurance premiums as well as my spouse's are covered without cost to me. However, my wife is insurured through her work as well because she is requiried to be insured under her employers plan even though she is already covered under mine. She chose an HMO because it was the least cost to us because we would want to use my insurance (PPO) as the main provider, that way she can choose her own doctors. She recently went to the doctor using my plan, but now they will not cover the visit because of duplicate coverage. Can someone give me advice as to how I can rectify this situation. We would prefer not to even use the HMO because it is expensive and restrictive, but the PPO will not cover because of the HMO coverage""

Is medical payments coverage needed in auto insurance?

How important is medical payments coverage auto insurance coverage. I currently have at as $10,000 coverage. Is this over kill? I have health insurance (HSA) that has a $5000 deductible per year, after that it's covered 100%. thx""

I need health insurance. Should I get private insurance or Obamacare?

I am a 27 y/o healthy male non-smoker living in Arkansas with good income. Wife has employer insurance that is very expensive to add me, so that's a no-go. I'll be the only one on the plan. I am prescribed medication that requires a doc's visit once per 2 months to have it refilled (so need medication and decent office visit fees/co-pay). I know little to nothing about health insurance. I've always had it under mother's plan and through the university after that. So what's the best route to go? Private insurance even if its subject to a penalty? Or go with ObamaCare. I'd like to have my medication covered at least partially, doc's visits, protection for severe medical emergencies, and possibly dental. I don't want to pay an exorbitant amount, nor do I want to be locked into anything. Thanks for any help.""

What is the average time taken by an Insurance company to pay out on a car claim.?

I suppose it would depend on the nature of the damage to ones car and also who was at fault. However in my case, my car caught fire from what I believe may have been an electrical fault. It is now a total write off. I realise the insurance company has to carry out it's investigations but how long should this take and how soon would one expect to receive an offer. I made a claim 6 weeks ago and am still being fobbed off with the explanation that the investigations are on-going.""

""I am a college student I need a good car with low insurance (I have 25,000 to spend)?""

I have a decent amount of money to spend on a car, but I am still young, and in turn my insurance would be high if I got something like a mustang. I need something like looks sporty, is moderatly prestigious, sexy, etc but will have low insurance for someone who is 18. I love BMWs. I havn't ever been in an accident and I think age 24 is when my insurance will go down a lot. I guess I will have to wait to get a sports car then.""

What is a good insurance for a home recording studio?

A recording studio has been set up at home, all i need to know is which insurance will cover it.. and the websites?""

How much is a doctor visit without insurance?

My friend hasn't been feeling well for a few days now and needs to see a doctor. Does anyone know how much a doctor visit would be if she went to a walk in clinic? She doesn't have any insurance. By the way we live in Miami, Fl.""

Car insurance - does everyone that drives the car have to be included?

I've been driving my grandmother's car for about a year. She has insurance on the car, but my name is not on the insurance. I am wondering if I would be covered if an accident occurred. The insurance is liability and uninsured motorist if I remember correctly.""

Do I need to be insured to test drive cars I want to purchase?

I am looking to buy a new car, so far I have test drove 3 cars this week and my colleague at work has just notified me that I am probably breaking the law. I am buying a car either through auto trader or ebay (Fiat Stilo incase anyone is selling) so most the sellers are private, I currently drive a VW Polo fully comp, does that insurance not cover me to drive someone else's car even if they are in it ? What about their insurance, does that not cover me ? And if I'm not insured, what would I have to do to make sure I am not breaking the law ? A temporary insurance costs me nearly 100 as I am quite young, its an absurd amount to pay just to test the car (about 10%) and its completely ill advised to buy a car without first test driving it ? Regards Omar*""

Do you NEED insurance for a motorcycle?

meaning can you get arrested with no insurance?

Car insurance vs the law?

If I was driving at 100 mph in my car and a police officer caught me on radar and i started to pull over and then lost control and flipped and totaled the car would my insurance still cover it? I have the fullest of full coverage also, if I was still making payments and the car got impounded would the car be repossessed FROM the cops? thanks""

Is it legal for a car insurance company to do this?

I was in a no-fault wreck on Christmas Eve(slid into two cars on ice). The damages were about $3500 to my car. A buff job for the first car, and a chrome polish on the bumper of the old truck. They are not worried about making an insurance claim. There are not enough damages. First off, my car is fully insured with Progressive on my mother-in-laws insurance. The car is in mine and my spouse's name. I am not on the insurance because it was not allowing my mother-in-law to add me. It kept giving her an error. She was however able to add my spouse. I received a call on Saturday from a claims specialist. They told me that because I am not on the insurance, they may not cover the repairs. They are looking into whether or not she in fact did try to add me. If they can't find that she did try to add me, they said they will not cover it. Shouldn't they pay for it no matter what. Seeing how the car has comp. and collision? This is the first time I've had to deal with a claim on the insurance, so I really don't know anything about the process. I'm going in blindfolded. Everyone I've talked to has said that it doesn't matter who is driving it, if the car is insured, it's the insurance companies responsibility to cover the costs. It would be no different than you letting your neighbor borrow your car. Am I wrong??? If you have any comments or advice, please help me out. I need something to go off to work with them! Or more like against them. Thank you!""

California unemployment insurance?

Can I still receive unemployment benefits if I return to school? I know you have to be available to work full time. What if I don't tell them I'm going back to school? I know they have job training but I'd like to go to a fully accredited school. Please help. Thank you

What are the advantages/disadvantages of Life Insurance?

Just in general, what are the pro's and con's of investing in Life Insurance""

Temporary car auto insurance in California?

Hi guys, I thought of using my friend's car for a month and half since he will be out of station. I was wondering what would it take or rather how to address the insurance issue. Is it possible to get a temporary insurance for a month or is it possible to add my name on to his insurance for a short term? Either ways, how much would it cost ! Also would be great if you guys can enlighten me on some of the providers here.""

Survey - Are you in good hands?

Survey - Are you in good hands?

Does an insurance consultant in Massachusetts need to be licensed?

It is corporate insurance, not personal.

Is A Ford Mustang a good car for a 16 year old?

Im 16 and Im getting my license in a couple of months. Im looking for a car and I really like mustangs. Im thinking about buying a 2003 or 2004 mustang in sonic blue. But will getting a mustang raise my insurance a lot and how much more than a normal car? Also, what mileage is bad on a mustang?""

How much should I insure a 2 bedroom condo for?

I want to buy insurance for a 2 bedroom, 1150 square foot condo in Orange County, California. I am interested in knowing how much coverage to buy to cover inside damage due to a catastrophe like a fire for example. I don't care about coverage for personal belongings or outside of the building. I just need to know what it costs to restore the inside walls, floors, etc. in case they are ever destroyed.""

Safe to buy Insurance over the phone ?

I need car insurance , is it safe to give my credit card information over the phone ? What would they ask for ? Just the card number ? Will they want the expiration date and 3 digit code on the back ? Do they need my SSN number ? I know they will need an address , phone number and drivers license number. The people that answer (I have called 6 places for a quote) seem like the type you do not feel safe giving all this information too.""

Is it necessary to buy Rental Car Insurance even though i have my car insurance policy with me?

I have a car and have taken Auto insurance for it. Now my question is if i take a rental car, then my auto insurance policy for my car covers it or i need to take separate insurance for the rental car? When i took the auto insurance policy, they have taken my car details and its present in the insurance card also. If i need to take insurance for rental car, what type of insurance do i need to take excluding my auto insurance policy coverage that applies to all cars? Also if i am driving someone else car, will my insurance cover if there is any accident i have made?""

How much would my insurance cost? Or about how much. (Info listed in detail)?

Age: 17 Gender: Female Car type: 1984 chevy silverado side steps. Sitting on 35s. Jacked up. I HAVE taken Drivers Ed I will be added onto my dads insurance Any more info needed just ask.

Why is car insurance so high for a 30+ female with 10yrs ncd?

I'm just looking for a new/nearly new style Ford KA and looked at some insurance quotes and ive noticed that nothing comes in cheaper than 360. It's not what I'm driving as I've looked at smaller cars such as Peugeot 107's and Citroen C1's (both new and older cars). They all come out with nothing cheaper than 360! I had a brand new KA back in 2003 and that was only 260 for insurance (I do understand that insurance has gone up in 10 years!), but why cant I get anything cheaper? I'd see myself as a model driver as I've been driving for 11 years, never had an accident, never claimed on my insurance, never been booked or had any points and I'm now in the 'older' bracket! Please can someone explain, or reassure me that it's not just me this is happening to?""

Why is my car insurance so much cheaper than other companies?

i was looking around for auto insurance to see if there was anything cheaper than what im paying now. im a 20 year old male with a 2005 scion tc. i have been driving for about 2 years and currently use state farm. when i first insured my car 2 years ago, i was paying $148/mo. due to a speeding ticket, it has risen to $194/mo. i also have comprehensive and collision with a $500 deductible. $100,000/$300,000 coverage with full glass also. not complaining, i think this is great i looked at nationwide, allstate, geico, and progressive. these companies are supposed to be so great, but progressive quoted me at $485/mo for the same coverage! the other companies where all in that general area. progressives state minimum coverage plan for me was almost $300/mo. why do these other companies cost so much more? im not complaining about mine, obviously im not gonna switch, but i am curious as to the difference in price.""

What if im 18 and want to pay for my own auto insurance?

I'm thinking about moving out of my house cause it sucks. I'd have to buy my own car and I'm thinking an older civic, cause they're reliable. Anyone got any ideas on what a good but cheap way to insure would be?""

How much would insurance for a motorcycle cost for a 17 year old?

How much approximately for a 17 yr old with a 250 ninja? what about a 600cc bike? I do not have my drivers license yet, only my permit and I would get a learners permit on my bike. How much do you think it will cost?""

Will my wreck affect my dads insurance rates?

I'm on my step dads insurance on his buisness truck. If I got into a wreck would it affect his insurance rates or just mine.

Motorcycle Insurance?

I got into a car accident almost 2 years ago and I was wondering if it will effect me when I get insurance for my motorcycle?

""How is mortgage hazard insurance calculated? Rate in Houston, TX?""

How is mortgage hazard insurance (I don't mean PMI.) calculated? Does the rate depend on what insurance company I go with? I am buying a house in Houston, Texas.""

I need some legit cheap dental insurance..please help?

I have a upper wisdom tooth that needs to be emergency removed and I have no insurance and there is over 40 dentists in my area that will not take a payment plan and the one plan I applied for did not accept becuz I don't make enough money...heck im low income...but in major pain...anyone help? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee

Cheap motorcycle insurance?

I am an 18 year old male in southern CA and I wanna know what is the cheapest motorcycle insurance for a 2006 yamaha r6 (crotch rocket) and where can i find it?

Has Tort reform had a beneficial impact on Health Insurance rates in California.?

California has had Tort reform in medical malpractice for 30 years. Has this kept Health Insurance affordable in California? Ask the parents ofNataline Sarkisyan how they feel about tort reform. Rather than pay for an expensive transplant and a lifetime of expensive care, her insurer simply denied the claim knowing they most her parents could get in punitive damages was $250,000. Seems to me that tort reform is another name for death panels!!!""

Car insurance advice needed for a 17 year old?

As I said in my previous question. I recently bought a Citroen AX 988cc for 500 and paid 2800 insurance for a year. I thought It was really good as all of my mates had paid well over 3000 for their Fiestas etc. I got alot of answers saying I had been ripped off. I would be so happy if you could tell me of a better deal. I called a total of 46 insurance companies, and used comparison websites on a variety of insurance group 1 cars. And this was the very cheapest I could find. Initially Iwanted a VW Golf. (Not the GTI Version) But I was quoted 9000 a year, not bad but I dont earn that much yet. I have 3 jobs but all are minumum wage. (6-10am, 10am-6pm, 7pm-11.20pm). Could you give me a better deal. Where to go, what other car would be cheaper, and general advice on getting it as cheap as olot of people in my previous question told me they got it. Thanks.""

Car insurance?

my car insurance is $1537 i dont know why im 18 years old have a kia spectra 03 drive 2 hours to school everyday can anyone pls help me

""I was caught driving with no insurance and in court they required me to have car insurance for 1 year,?""

ive been paying for car insurance for the past 6 monthsm, but I recently sold my car, and was wondering if I stil have to pay insurance when I have no car. what should i do?""

Cost of med insurance for a college student living on their own?

How much does individual health insurance cost for a college student out on their own? I realize its different for each person. Lets say the person is male and 18. No health related problems, no history of any either. How much? On average.""

Why is it that the Republicans Party Sucks up so much to the Insurance Companies?

???

How much would getting a cast cost me in the US with and without insurance?

I'm a US citizen studying in Canada. Sunday, I fractured my wrist playing football. I saw a sports medicine doctor on Monday, who sent me for x-rays and informed me I had a fracture. He told me to go to the hospital to get a proper cast. The fracture clinic there had closed for the day so I went to the ER, where they wrapped me up and took another x-ray. I saw an orthopedic specialist this morning who set my fracture (ideally I should have come in immediately after the incident and had it set then), after which they took another set of x-rays to check if the setting worked. The prognosis is good. I didn't pay a cent in all this, as I'm covered under the University Health Insurance Plan, which all international students in Ontario get, as the Ontario Health Insurance Plan only covers residents, anything under OHIP is covered with UHIP. I'm curious, what would the cost have been had this happened in the US, with and without insurance? Thank You""

Insurance Fraud?

I'm a 17 year old male living in Canada, and I just bought a car. Would it be insurance fraud to insure that car in my moms name, with her as the main driver and me as a casual driver, while she insures her own car with a seperate insurance company, not telling either company she technically owns 2 vehicles? Becuase she just wouldn't drive my car, and my car would be under her name but I would be listed as a casual driver and have much lower rates. If she insured her own car with another company and told them she only owns one car, I could have much lower insurance rates because I would be listed as a casual driver when really I'm the main driver. Is that insurance fraud? Is it legal? I've heard of people doing that...""

Life Insurance?

What is the best life insurance?

Question about car insurance and theft.?

lets say somebody that has an auto loan gets their vehicle stolen, the insurance will cover the rest of the loan but what happens to the funds the bank has already received for the vehicle?""

How can i get a german Health Insurance from outside of germany?

I need to have Health insurance accepted in before i go there. i will be staying there. I cannot find any way to sign up for health insurance from outiside of germany.

Does an insurance consultant in Massachusetts need to be licensed?

It is corporate insurance, not personal.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-motorcycle-insurance-so-expensive-savoie-santa"

[topsolarpanels]

The Obama years: novelists assess his legacy

Expectations were sky high when Barack Obama was elected president in 2008. As his term is coming to an end, has he disillusioned or delivered? Novelists in America evaluate him

Tobias Wolff: The coolness of his style contribute to a lack of praise for what he has achieved

Tobias Wolff is best known for his memoir This Boys Life , which won the Los Angeles Times book award for biography. His 1984 novella, The Barracks Thief , won the Pen/ Faulkner award for fiction. He was the director of creative writing at Stanford from 2000 to 2002 and received a National Medal of Arts from the president in 2015.

Our nominees for chairwoman campaign as if theyre operating for king, and not just any monarch no quaint, hospital-touring symbol of national unity , no mere figurehead answerable to a constitution and a popular assembly. Congress? Whats that? If elected, our American candidate will, like an absolute ruler, resolve the thorniest problems of state simply by exerting his( or her !) will. Is the domestic economy on fire, and about to spread to our neighbours? He will fix it, because he knows how. Students drowning in debt? Hell induce college free! Islamic jihadists taking over cities in Syria and Iraq? Hell carpet bomb them until we find out if sand[ and innocent civilians] can glow.

Tobias Wolff: Despite my years, I believed in Obama believed not only that he meant what he said, but that he could get it done. Photograph: Murdo MacLeod for the Observer

Do suspected terrorists know more than theyre telling? Hell have them tortured till they sing like Pavarotti, and kill their families into the bargain, and the army will just have to suck it up and do what he says, even if they say they wont, and have the law to back them up. Law? Whats that? Shell ban assault weapons; hell make sure you can take them to church.

The promise of immediate and radical change is a campaign fiction presented with such bald-faced effrontery that we scarcely question it any more, unless its coming from the other side. Indeed, the performance cant be sustained unless we support it with our credulity, like a tentful of rubes gaping at the tricks of a carnival magician, even offering ourselves up as subjects.

The wishful thinking that is the source of this credulity is, of course, a prelude to disappointment if our nominee actually gets elected. Take the case of nominee Barack Obama. He was going to get us out of Iraq and Afghanistan, and close Guantnamo. He would save our failing economy, mend our breach healthcare system, and legislate sensible gun control legislation. He would overhaul our immigration system, address climate change with meaningful policies, and change the bilious tone of our political discourse. We werent a nation of red states and blue nations, he reminded us: we were the United States. Despite my years, I believed believed not only that he entailed what he said, but that he could get it done.

My wife and I collected several friends on a November night in 2008, and watched with elation and incredulity as this young, literary, ironical human with a Kenyan father was elected to the presidency. Some of us had tears in our eyes. I was one. But as time went on those tears began to burn. He wasnt get it done, or so it seemed to me. Guantnamo was still in business. The planet maintained heating up, and the wars dragged on, though increasingly waged by special forces. As before, just about anybody was free to walk into a firearm store and come out armed, and each year some 30,000 Americans continued to pay for that liberty with their lives.

And the tone of political life had become even more toxic than before the election. During President Obamas first State of the Union address, a congressman from South Carolina screamed: You lie ! and became a Republican hero, even as the leaders of that party dedicated themselves to obstructing President Obamas legislative initiatives and judicial appointments, effectively incapacitating the governmental forces in order, as the senate majority leader shamelessly admitted, to build Obama a one-term chairman. The birthers continued to question his legitimacy, and, further, to imply that he was a secret Muslim and supporter of Isis. He was Hitler. He was Lenin.

Obamacare supporters react to the US Supreme Court decision to uphold President Obamas health care statute, 28 June, 2012, Washington, DC. Photograph: Mark Wilson/ Getty Images

None of this of this was Obamas fault. Indeed, he reacted to the unrelenting river of slander and congressional malfeasance with unflappable pacify and an air of faintly amused detachment. And for that I did blame him. The coolness I had admired during his campaign became an irritant. In fact, it drove me kind of crazy. Why didnt he fight back? Show some rage at what was truly outrageous, the obstruction, the name-calling, the attacks on Michelle Obama for encouraging schools to serve healthy food, even for occasionally wearing garments that presented her arms? Call these liars and bullies out, damn it! Politics is mud wrestling, did he not understand that? And if he really didnt feel anger, then why not take some acting lessons, and fake it?

Well, I was wrong. As Barack Obama prepares to leave office, I think about what he managed to do in the face of implacable resistance. No, he didnt close Guantnamo; the Republican congress wouldnt let him , nor would they let him bring sanity to our firearm laws, or to our immigration policies. But as most economists agree, his financial initiatives, narrowly approved, did save us from a profound recession, perhaps even a depression. His successful automobile industry bailout, fiercely contested at the time, saved countless chores at almost no expenditure to the taxpayer. If Obama couldnt wholly extricate us from the wars he inherited, he has refrained from miring us in new wars, despite being constantly urged to do so by congressmen and senators who otherwise refuse to expend taxation dollars on, say, education, or roads, or environmental safeguards.

Finally, 20 million Americans who did not have health insurance when Barack Obama took office have it now; and in spite of dire Republican predictions, and umpteen voting in favour of repeal, it has actually lowered the healthcare cost inflation rate. No one in this country, however poor, or sick, need be without insurance. This achievement eluded Theodore Roosevelt and Bill Clinton, among others.

So why has Obama not been celebrated for what hes done? Why did so many of us so often feel a sense of impatience, even letdown? I believe it comes down to immaturity in us , not him. At least part of the reason for our failure to recognise and kudo what hes accomplished has to do with his style that coolness. He doesnt brag, or gloating. He doesnt call attention to himself, or extol his deeds in the streets, or ridicule those who resist him. But we wanted him to. We wanted hot. We wanted rage, slashing rhetoric, mock. We wanted him to call liars liars, idiots moronics. We wanted him to bully the bullies. We wanted him to wage war, and crow over his fallen adversaries. And because we did not get the melodrama we demanded, we lost the plot.

But now we have a candidate who will give us all the sound and fury we could ask for, or imagine. Lets see how we like it. Me, Im already nostalgic for Obama.

Akhil Sharma Now I am much less tolerant of white stupidity

Akhil Sharma: I understood the tenderness on the faces as hope. Photograph: Tim Knox

Akhil Sharma is the author of the 2015 Folio prize-winning novel Family Life as well as An Obedient Father , for which he won the 2001 Hemingway Foundation/ PEN awarding. Born in India, he moved to the US as a child and he is currently an assistant professor of creative writing at Rutgers University-Newark. His short story Cosmopolitan was was transformed into a 2003 movie of the same name .

At the Times Square subway stop there is an electronics good store with TVs in the windows. For perhaps the first two years of the Obama presidency, one of the TVs was constantly demonstrating Obama swearing the oath of office. Always there was a small knot of black people standing before the window, looking at the Tv tenderly.

I am Indian and I have experienced some racism in America but I did not experience Obamas inauguration or presidency as some great promise going true.

When I saw the knot of black people watching the inauguration, what I felt was embarrassment. I understood the tenderness on the faces as hope. That things would change. To me, it seemed obvious that things would not change. That racism and anxiety of others getting ahead is so deeply rooted in the white American psyche that there was bound to be a backlash. To me, the tenderness seemed as though people believing a lie they urgently wanted to believe.

In eight years a person can change quite a bit and, to me now, that tenderness I insured is not hope but exhilaration. There can be exhilaration in the moment and one can be joyful without expressed his belief that things will necessarily get much better. To me now, those black people standing before the window were smarter than I was in that they chose to enjoy their happiness.

One other style that I have experienced the Obama presidency is that I have begun to be intolerant of certain types of stupidity from white people. My role is no longer to help them become comfy with racial the questions or to help them assure another point of view. My response to white idiocy now is to tell people to grow up. I have an acquaintance who was Obamas boss when Obama had just gotten out of college. My acquaintance, a white man, was deep irritated that Obama had become president and that he himself had not. I can certainly claim to my share of irrationality but when I heard this, it seemed to me a new level of bizarreness. Before the Obama presidency, if I had heard something so stupid I would have just giggled. Now I asked the man if he would have guessed this if Obama had been white?

Attica Locke: His healthcare reforms were humongous

Attica Locke: When Obama was elected I was stunned in my soul. Photo: Ulf Andersen/ Getty Images

Attica Locke was bear in Texas. Her first fiction, Black Water Rising , was nominated for a 2010 Edgar award, an NAACP Image award, and a Los Angeles Times book prize. Her second, The Cutting Season , was a national bestseller and win of the Ernest Gaines award for literature. She is an academy member for the Folio prize UK, as well as being on the board of directors for the Library Foundation of Los Angeles .

When Obama was elected, what I felt was bigger than pleasure though Im not sure I have a word for what it was. I remember watching the results on TV and telling over and over: Is this actually happening? Is this real? I merely couldnt take it in. I was stunned in my soul.

A few months later, I went to stay on a plantation in southern Louisiana, doing research for my second book. I was sleeping in a little cabin right by the field where slaves used to cut sugar cane. One night a storm was coming and you could hear the leaves rustling against one another, and it voiced to me like voices. I recollect talking to whatever spirits were out there and telling them: Your labour was not in vain. Everything you lived for was not in vain. And I felt a deep sense of hope hope beyond what was written on an electoral poster.

Has that hope been fulfilled? Not exactly. Dont get me wrong, there was never a part of me that thought we were going to get a post-racial society. Im not interested in living in a post-racial society. But I had a hope that we were about to move past the worst of our racial history. Right now, America is at a crossroads. The Obama presidency can move us forward, or we can backslide into racial intolerance and violence for good. One of the effects of Obama being elected is that there is a level of racism in America that can no longer be ignored. If a human like Barack Obama, so well-educated, so graceful, so intelligent, so charming, can be so vilified and denigrated on a daily basis in some parts of the country and in Congress( to the point that he can hardly do his job ), you can no longer as a normal American ignore the profound problem of race in this country.

Barack and Michelle Obama: Were just beginning to see what this man and his wife together are going to do for the country. Photograph: Rebecca Blackwell/ AP

There are a lot of well-meaning white folks who for years could not assure the breadth of racism in America, so I feel that one of the gifts of Obamas presidency a perverse gift is the fact it allowed a sickness to bubble up to the surface, like a boil on the skin. You cant treat what you cant see. And now that we see it, maybe theres a chance to treat this racial sickness for good.

As for my feelings about Obama, the man himself, I think hes done a lot of positive things. He got dumped with an economy in freefall in 2009 but hes managed to turn it around. And his healthcare reforms were humongous, as big to me as stuff that Lyndon Johnson did back in the 60 s, like creating Medicare. Of course hes done things that I do not agree with. I have a problem with the failure to close Guantnamo, I have a problem with drone ten-strikes around the world. But youre never going to like everything that any chairwoman does. What Im not going to do is hold Obama to a higher standard, where he has to be a magical negro who is perfect. Hes have been able to build missteps.

I think were just beginning to see what this man and his wife together are going to do for the country. Hes done what he can within the office of the presidency, but now I think he could be like Jimmy Carter, who has done some unbelievable run since leaving office. Were just seeing the beginning of Obamas power as a human being. As told to Killian Fox

Hari Kunzru: His rhetorical ability soothed the terror induced by his blackness

Hari Kunzru: His clearest legacy is symbolic. Photograph: Murdo Macleod for the Observer

British novelist Hari Kunzru left London for New York eight years ago. He was the recipient of the Betty Trask prize( 2002) and the Somerset Maugham award( 2003) for his debut novel, The Impressionist . His 2011 fiction, Gods Without Men , led to the coining of the genre translit: fictions that cross history and geography without being historical nor changing clairvoyant place( New York Times ).

The clearest legacy of the Obama presidency is symbolic. Its hard for non-Americans( and, indeed , non-whites) to understand the clairvoyant blow dealt to the nativist right by the ascent of a black man to the White House. That part of the Republican base that abandoned the Democrat after the passage of the Civil Rights Act in 1964, and which has been so irresponsibly pandered by the party of Lincoln, took the news like medieval villagers witnessing an eclipse. Weve now expends eight years watching Republican congressmen scurrying hither and thither brandishing pitchforks, outraged at the latest whiff of terrorist fist-bumpery.

The obstructionist opposition to Obama arrived tricked out in 18 th-century Founders drag, bewigged and buckle-shoed. Ostensibly they were angry that the framers of the constitution were being traduced by a stoner Kenyan community organiser, yet beneath the surface, their grievances often turned out to be rooted in the eroding of the racial deference that has been expected in this country since the days when Jefferson and Washington toured their slave quarterss.

The presence of a black first family in the White House, the nations lifestyle fishbowl, is just as symbolically powerful as the sight of a black husband and father shouldering the position of the presidency. In their immaculate media presentation, the Obamas have communicated themselves to the readers of the kind of publications found in supermarket checkouts as a family whose dignity and essential decency are well sheathed in the necessary American armour of glamour. Whoever wins the presidency in November, the first spouse will command a fraction of the respect that Michelle Obama enjoys. The sight of the two Obama daughters, young black females growing up with limitless aspirations in a caring home, begs a replies from a country where the number one cause of death for black females aged 15 -3 4 is homicide by a current or former partner.

Many of the young people driving the Black Lives Matter movement came of age during the course of its Obama presidency, their political consciousness formed by the 2008 election. For them, Obama turned out to be more hope than change, and his failure to speak in a full-throated route in their supporting has felt like a disloyalty, but once the thick rind of symbolism has been peeled, the president has always been a cautious centrist Democrat with an instinct for consensus , not a man likely to align himself with the politics of black power.

The drone war is considered in many parts of the world the administrations signal moral catastrophe: a US Air Force MQ-1B Predator drone at a secret air base in the Persian Gulf: Photo: John Moore/ Getty Images

In policy terms, the Obama legacy is mixed. The passing of the Affordable Care Act has curbed some of the more egregious iniquities of the dysfunctional US healthcare system, but hundreds of thousands of Americans still go bankrupt every year because of medical bills. Eight years after the financial crisis, the president has succeeded in keeping the wheels on American capitalism, but once the dust settled, it became clear that the crash accelerated the transfer of wealth from the middle class to the very rich, an injustice he has done nothing to address.

Middle Eastern policy has been rudderless. There were, to be honest , no good options available after the squalid disaster of the Bush wars, but Obamas vacillation about involvement helped make the chaos in Libya and the vacuum in Syria so ruthlessly are used by Isis and the Russians. He let red lines to be crossed without sanction. The droning war, to reflect on many parts of the world as the administrations signal moral disaster, has carried on with little serious domestic opponent. The failure to close Guantnamo is, in the scheme of things, the least of these failures. Merely time will tell whether the vaunted Iran bargain renders a harvest of peace and stability.

And yet Obama will be missed. Sometimes, out of his extensive rhetorical tool kit, the president pulls a weird folksy tone, a subliminal suggestion of Merle Haggard, designed , no doubt, to soothe the terror induced by his blackness. Desperate as it is to go on a psychic vacation in the magical kingdom of the post-racial, America will discover that it was lucky to have had a figure capable of such virtuosic code-switching, a man who demonstrated that it was possible to communicate across the lines.

Jayne Anne Phillips: Only by being who he is he has made an enormous impact

Jayne Anne Phillips: Obama has been a stealth president.

Guggenheim fellow Jayne Anne Phillips won the 1980 Sue Kaufman award for first fiction when she was only 26, for her debut volume of tales, Black Tickets. Twenty-one years later, her novel MotherKind won the Massachusetts Book award. She is the holder of two National Endowment for the Arts fellowships.

Obama has been a transformational chairperson, and this may not become altogether clear until he leaves office. People forget that where reference is assumed the presidency in 2009, he was handed a financial tragedy in the making and his response to it genuinely saved the country, and possibly the world, from financial breakdown. But hes done so much more. In the two years in which he had a Democratic Congress, he passed the Affordable Care Act and supervised a $36 bn dollar expansion in Pell Grants, which very much affects students at Rutgers University-Newark, where I direct the MFA programme.

Obama has been a stealth chairperson. Hes had to be: six years of his presidency have been completely stymie by the Republican. But hes managed to change energy policy, improve medical care and academic criteria, he changed dont ask, dont tell in the military and influenced awareness of LGBTQ issues both legally and in popular culture. He went to Cuba, he went to Hiroshima. He has worked hard to fight climate change. Solar energy production has increased 30 -fold since he became chairwoman. Jobs in the solar industry have grown exponentially, and hes resulting their attempts to phase out injury hydrofluorocarbons being implemented in air conditioning. His presidency has accomplished so much of which citizens are not aware. He has embraced executive actions, unwilling to accept the stasis Congress embodies.

Then theres the whole leadership occurrence. He cant objective combating racism and sexism in America, but just by being who he is, hes made an enormous impact. I think he is truly a visionary who is uniquely qualified to serve. Hes a biracial African American human who grew up in a white household. He came from a background of law and community organising. Hes an absolutely wonderful orator: funny, elegant and humane.

Same-sex wedding advocates in front of the supreme court in Washington, DC. Photograph: Jewel Samad/ AFP/ Getty Images

I suppose its clear that Im a big Obama fan and that this election year has been a psychedelic nightmare. Its like going from the sublime to if Trump is actually elected the ridiculously dangerous. Its a very strange time in this country and we can only hope that Trump will continue to implode. Hillary Clinton is exceptionally qualified and I guess shed be a good chairperson; American sexism plays a huge its participation in her supposed unlikability. She might not be as inspiring as Obama, shes not cool or chic, but she is such a policy wonk, so prepared and careful. And constant. Her priorities infants, families, justice are the same after 30 years. Yet she is suspected because she has breached the establishment. Im simply praying shell win. If Trump wins, therell be a lot of people in America trying to marry Canadians.

Obama has been a inspiring and provocative leader. The fact that this is more or less the consensus around the world genuinely matters, because it means hes not vulnerable to the sniping and griping, to the ridiculous run low , no, go lower tone that Trump has set in this election. I dont suppose anything will change the fact that Obamas presidency marks an honourable few years in American history. He is Trumps polar opposite. What a country this is, to fostering and succour two such opposite cultural/ political beings. The best and the worst have moved further and further apart; we are a totally divided nation. Those paradise moments the very surprising 2008 Obama election, the crowds, the alliances, the decency, charm and intelligence of it all exist alongside all that we are today endure. Its a world that merely a 24 -hour news cycle could love. What will Trump do or say next? Like everything Trump touches, its all about him. But I digress.

Desperation and chaos are distracting. How dark will it get? Regardless, Obama is not going away. The America that elected him twice is not going away either. Like Elvis, that America has left the building. Hopefully it will reappear on election day.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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