#what i wouldnt give to be on a boat for a week

[outerspacedunce]

im having car problems again. it sucks because it's never ending with this car but it sucks even more because i am supposed to leave for the shore on monday. thankfully my partner's mother is lending us a little money to get a rental for the week. it was way too kind of her and we appreciate it so much because honestly i haven't been away from my home in two long years.

not that i don't love my home, i absolutely love being here but it's also my place of work. i am never not working on some fashion. i REALLY need these three days away from here, even if it's just for a change of scenery.

other than that, i spent my day off rearranging and cleaning my bathroom. i now have a functional mirror and i put up a new shelf and now i don't feel stressed out when i walk in there. this whole past week i have been tackling small cleaning projects that i have been putting off, that way i can recover at the shore and come home to a clean, decluttered house. because no one wants to walk back in to a mess straight from vacation.

my goal is to finish at least one star trek book (maybe two??) while i'm there and go kayaking and spend any extra time sleeping on the beach.

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash

Chapters 36-37

Had it been like that in the iron coffin?

Aelin gave no indication that the smothering dark bothered her, and had shown no inclination to illuminate their way. Hadn't even summoned an ember.

But the Little Folk, it seemed, had come prepared. And within heartbeats of entering the pitch-black river passage, blue light had kindled on a lantern dangling over the curved prow. Not light, not even magic. But small worms that glowed pale blue, as if they'd each swallowed the heart of a star. They'd been gathered into the lantern, and their soft light rippled over the water-smooth walls. A gentle, soothing light. At least, for her it was so.

Before Aelin had been given an ancient Faerie Queen's crown, her birthright and heritage.

The queen had stashed Mab's crown in one of their packs, as if it were no more than an extra sword belt. She hadn't spoken, and they had not asked her any questions, either.

Instead, she'd spent these past few hours sitting in the back of the boat, studying her unmarked hands, occasionally peering into the black waters beneath them. What she expected to see beyond her own rippling reflection, Elide didn’t want to know.

He'd crawled after Maeve on the beach to save Aelin. And he had found her during her escape-had ensured Aelin made it out. Did it wipe away what he'd done in summoning Maeve in the first place? Even if Maeve had set the trap, even if he hadn't known what Maeve intended for Aelin, did it erase his decision to call for her?

The last time they'd spoken as friends, it had been aboard that ship in the hours before Maeve's armada had arrived. He'd told her they needed to talk, and she'd assumed it was about their future, about them.

But perhaps he'd been about to tell her what he'd done, that he'd been wrong in acting before Aelin's plans played out. Elide stopped twisting the ring.

He'd done it for her. She knew it.

But the queen sitting silently behind them, no trace of that sharp-edged fire to be seen, nor that wicked grin she'd flashed at all who crossed her path ... Two months with a sadist. With two sadists. That had been the cost, and the burden that Aelin and all of them would bear.

That silence, that banked fire was because of him. Not entirely, but in some ways.

The collar had not been real. But the army Maeve had summoned was.

A blink into the gloom was the only indication that he was aware of her every movement. Aelin breathed in his scent, let its strength settle into her a bit deeper.

Their paths would meet again, or they would not. And if he found the final key and then brought it to her, she would pay what the gods demanded. What she owed Terrasen, the world.

Yet if Dorian chose to end it himself, to forge the Lock ... her stomach churned. He had the power. As much as she did, if not more so.

It was meant to be her sacrifice. Her blood shed to save them all. To let him claim it ... She could. She must. With Erawan no doubt unleashing himself on Terrasen, with Maeve's army likely to cause them untold grief, she could let Dorian do this. She trusted him. Even if she might never forgive herself for it. Her debt, it was supposed to have been her debt to pay.

Perhaps the punishment for failing to do so would be having to live with herself.

Having to live with all that had been done to her these months, too.

The blackness of the subterranean river pressed in, wrapped its arms around her and squeezed.

Different from the blackness of the iron box. The darkness she'd found inside herself.

A place she might never escape, not really.

Her power stirred, awakening. Aelin swallowed, refusing to acknowledge it. Heed it.

She wouldn't. Couldn't. Not yet. Until she was ready.

She had seen Rowan's face when she spoke of what his deception with the collar had prompted her to do. Had noted the way her companions looked at her, pity and fear in their eyes. At what had been done to her, what she'd become.

A new body. A foreign, strange body, as if she'd been ripped from one and shoved into another. Different from moving between her forms, somehow. She hadn't tried shifting into her human body yet. Didn't see the point.

Sitting in silence as the boat was pulled through the gloom, she felt the weight of those stares. Their dread. Felt them wondering just how broken she was.

You do not yield.

She knew that had been true—that it had been her mother's voice who had spoken and none other.

So she would not yield to this. What had been done. What remained. For the companions around her, to lift their despair, their fear, she wouldn't yield.

She'd fight for it, claw her way back to it, who she'd been before. Remember to swagger and grin and wink. She'd fight against that lingering stain on her soul, fight to ignore it. Would use this journey into the dark to piece herself back together-just enough to make it convincing.

Even if this fractured darkness now dwelled within her, even if speech was difficult, she would show them what they wished to see.

An unbroken Fire-Bringer. Aelin of the Wildfire.

She would show the world that lie as well. Make them believe it.

Maybe she'd one day believe it, too.

Days of near-silent travel passed.

Three days, if whatever senses Rowan and Gavriel possessed proved true. Perhaps the latter carried a pocket watch. Aelin didn't particularly care.

She used each of those days to consider what had been done, what lay before her.

Sometimes, the roar of her magic drowned out her thoughts. Sometimes it slumbered. She never heeded it.

They sailed through the darkness, the river below so black that they might as well have been drifting through Hellas's realm.

She hadn't asked him why he remained in his wolf's body. No one asked her why she remained in her Fae form, after all.

Rowan straightened, eyes sparking at her question-or at the fact that she'd spoken at all.

He'd kept by her these days, a silent, steady presence. Even when they'd slept, he'd remained a few feet away, still not touching, but just there. Close enough that the pine-and-snow scent of him eased her into slumber.

Silence at the order, even from Rowan. Aelin pointed to the lip of shore by the cave mouth. "Stop the boat," she repeated.

The queen had been reckless before Cairn and Maeve had worked on her for two months, but it seemed she'd had any bit of common sense flayed from her.

"Well, I don’t have any, so forgive me if I remain alert." No, she'd once told him that while magic flowed in the Lochan bloodline, she had none to speak of. He'd never told her that he'd always considered her cleverness to be a mighty magic on its own, regardless of Anneith's whisperings.

"It will take time for her to readjust."

She stared at him with those damning eyes.

He braced his forearms on his knees. "We got her back. She's with us now. What more do you want?" From me, He didn't need to add Elide straightened.

Elide straightened. "I don't want anything." From you.

This was where they'd have it out, then. "How much longer am I supposed to atone?"

"Are you growing bored with it?" He snarled.

She only glared at him. "I hadn't realized you were even atoning."

"I came here, didn't I?"

"For whom, exactly? Rowan? Aelin?"

"For both of them. And for you." There. Let it be laid before them.

"I told you on that beach: I want nothing to do with you."

"So one mistake and I am your eternal enemy?"

"She is my queen, and you summoned Maeve, then told her where the keys were, and you stood there while they did that to her."

"You have no idea what the blood oath can do. None."

"Fenrys broke the oath. He found a way."

"And had Aelin not been there to offer him another, he would have died." He let out a low, joyless laugh. "Perhaps that's what you would have preferred."

She ignored his last comment. "You didn't even try."

"I did," he snarled. "I fought it with everything I had. And it was not enough. If she'd ordered me to slit your throat, I would have. And if I had found a way to break the oath, I would have died, and she might very well have killed you or taken you afterward. On that beach, my only thought was to get Maeve to forget about you, to let you go-"

"I don't care about me! I didn't care about me on that beach!"

"Well, I do."

This was what came of opening that door to a place inside him that no one had ever breached. This mess, this hollowness in his chest that made him keep needing to make things right.

"Resent me all you like," he said, damning the hoarseness of his words. "I'm sure I'll survive."

Hurt flashed in her eyes. "Fine," she said, her voice brittle.

He hated that brittleness more than anything he'd ever encountered. Hated himself for causing it. But he had limits to how low he'd crawl.

He'd said his piece. If she wanted to wash her hands of him forever, then he would find a way to respect that. Live with it.

Somehow.

Gratitude shone in her eyes.

Rowan only gave her a nod. Don't worry about it.

Yet Aelin turned away, shutting off that silent conversation as she surveyed the space.

Time. It would take time for her to heal.

Even if he knew his Fireheart would pretend otherwise.

So, Rowan looked, too. Across the tomb, beyond the sarcophagus and treasure, an archway opened into another chamber. Perhaps another tomb, or an exit passage.

"We don't have time to find a way out,"

Rowan murmured as she strode into the tomb.

"And the caves remain safer than the surface."

"I'm not looking for a way out," she said in that calm, unmoved voice. She stooped, swiping up a fistful of gold coins stamped with forgotten king's face. "We're going to need to fund our travels. And the gods know what else." Rowan arched a brow. Aelin shrugged and shoved the gold into the pocket of her cloak. "Unless the pitiful clinking I heard from your coin purse didn't indicate you were low on funds."

That spark of wry humor, the taunting … She was trying. For his sake, or the others' maybe her own, she was trying.

Rowan gave the Lion a slashing grin. "You heard the lady."

A flash ruptured from where Fenrys had been sniffing at a trunk of jewels, and then a male was standing there. His gray clothes worn, but intactin better shape than the hollowed-out look in his eyes.

Aelin paused her looting.

Fenrys's throat bobbed, as if trying to remember speech. Then he said hoarsely, "We needed more pockets." He patted his own for emphasis.

Aelin's lips curved in a hint of a smile. She blinked at Fenrys—three times.

Fenrys blinked once in answer.

A code. They'd made up some silent code to communicate when he'd been ordered to remain in his wolf form.

Aelin's smile remained, just barely, as she walked to the golden-haired male, his bronze skin ashen. She opened her arms in silent offer.

To let him decide if he wished for contact. If he could endure it.

Just as Rowan would let her decide if she wished to touch him.

A small sigh broke from Fenrys before he folded Aelin into his arms, a shudder rippling through him. Rowan couldn't see her face, perhaps didn't need to, as her hands gripped Fenrys's jacket, so tightly they were white-knuckled.

A good sign—a small miracle, that either of them wished, could be touched. Rowan reminded himself of it, even while some intrinsic, male part of him tensed at the contact.

A territorial Fae bastard, she'd once called him. He'd do his best not to live up to that title.

"Thank you," Aelin said, her voice small in a way that made Rowan's chest crack further.

Fenrys didn't answer, but from the anguish on his face, Rowan knew no thanks were in order.

They pulled away, and Fenrys cupped her cheek. "When you are ready, we can talk."

About what they'd endured. To unravel all that had happened.

Aelin nodded, blowing out a breath. "Likewise."

She resumed shoving gold into her pockets, but glanced back to Fenrys, his face drawn. "I gave you the blood oath to save your life," she said. "But if you do not want it, Fenrys, I ... we can find some way to free you—"

"I want it," Fenrys said, no trace of his usual swaggering humor. He glanced to Rowan, and bowed his head. "It is my honor to serve this court. And serve you," he added to Aelin.

She waved a hand in dismissal, though Rowan didn't fail to note the sheen in her eyes as she stooped to gather more gold. Giving her a moment, he strode to Fenrys and clasped his shoulder. "It's good to have you back." He added, stumbling a bit on the word, "Brother." For that's what they would be. Had never been before, but what Fenrys had done for Aelin .. Yes, brother was what Rowan would call him. Even if Fenrys's own—

Fenrys's dark eyes flickered. "She killed Connall. Made him stab himself in the heart." A pearl-and-ruby necklace scattered from Gavriel's fingers.

The temperature in the tomb spiked, but there was no flash of flame, no swirl of embers.

As if Aelin's magic had surged, only to be leashed again.

Yet Aelin continued shoving gold and jewels into her pockets.

She'd witnessed it, too. That slaughter.

But it was Gavriel, approaching on silent feet even with the jewels and gold on the floor, who clasped Fenrys's other shoulder. "We will make sure that debt is paid before the end." The Lion had never uttered such words not toward their former queen. But fury burned in Gavriel's tawny gaze. Sorrow and fury.

Fenrys took a steadying breath and stepped away, the loss on his face mingling with something Rowan couldn't place. But now wasn't the time to ask, to pry.

Aelin continued picking her way amongst the treasure, however. She'd been more selective than the rest of them, examining pieces with what Rowan had assumed was a jeweler's eye. The gods knew she'd owned enough finery to tell what would fetch the highest price at market.

"We should go," he said. His own pockets were near to bursting, his every step weighed down.

She rose from a rusted metal chest she'd been riffling through.

Rowan remained still as she approached, something clenched in her palm. It was only when she stopped close enough for him to touch her that she unfurled her fingers.

Two golden rings lay there.

"I don't know the Fae customs," she said.

The thicker ring held an elegantly cut ruby within the band itself, while the smaller one bore a sparkling rectangular emerald mounted atop, the stone as large as her fingernail. "But when humans wed, rings are exchanged." Her fingers trembled-just slightly. Too many unspoken words lay between them. Yet now was not the time for that conversation, for that healing.

Not when they had to be on their way as swiftly as possible, and this offer she'd made him, this proof that she still wanted what lay between them, the vows they'd sworn ...

"I assume the sparkly emerald is for me," Rowan said with a half smile.

She huffed a laugh. The soft, whispered sound was as precious as the rings she'd found for them in this hoard. She took his hand, and he tried not to shudder in relief, tried not to fall to his knees as she slid the ruby ring onto his finger. It fit him perfectly, the ring no doubt forged for the king lying in this barrow.

Silently, Rowan grasped her own hand and eased on the emerald ring. "To whatever end," he whispered.

Silver lined her eyes. "To whatever end." A reminder-and a vow, more sacred than the wedding oaths they'd sworn on that ship.

To walk this path together, back from the darkness of the iron coffin. To face what waited in Terrasen, ancient promises to the gods be damned.

He ran his thumb over the back of her hand.

"I'll make the tattoo again." She swallowed, but nodded. "And," he added, "I'd like to add another. To me—and to you."

Her brows flicked up, but he squeezed her hand. You'll have to wait and see, Princess.

Another hint of a smile. She didn't balk from the silent words this time. Typical.

He opened his mouth to voice the question he'd been dying to ask for days now. May I kiss you? But she pulled her hand from his.

Admiring the wedding band sparkling on her finger, her mouth tightened as she turned over her palm. "I'll need to retrain."

Not a single callus marked her hands.

Aelin frowned at her too-thin body. "And pack on some muscle again." A slight quiver graced her words, but she curled her hands into fists at her sides and smirked at her clothes—the Mistward clothes. "It'll be just like old times."

Trying. She was dredging up that swagger and trying. So he would, too. Until she didn't need to any more.

Rowan gave her a crooked grin. "Just like old times," he said, following her out of the barrow and back toward the ebony river, "but with far less sleep."

He could have sworn the passageway heated. But Aelin kept going.

Later. That conversation, this unfinished business between them, would come later.

[huh-1260]

I'm looking at Train Crash AU and thinking.

Man what if I injured Wars more for more bandages because I pretty sure I didn't give him enough for his severed arm

So what about an angsty reunion with an Adult Wind with Wars?

:)

The few whumps I have aren't angsty enough for my soul

so imagine you grow up after going away from your found family across time and you don't get to meet your brother again, but a younger version of him that doesn't know who you are and you get to watch him fall apart and you don't get to see how he became the big brother you knew him as. Also your father figure is now a brat. This is how Wind feels, because the moment he saw the portal that the shadow used seven years later. He's was excited to see his brothers again, to see Wars again. But no, it seems that fate fucking hates him, because while his other brothers come out perfectly well, with some differences in time passing for others; Legend: two years, Twilight: nine years, Time a month, Four: 5 years, Sky: 1 year, Wild: 6 months post TOTK, Hyrule: 5 years. Wars doesn't come through the portal at all. So while everyone accidentally calls him the captain (he never really saw how the others said he looked like the captain, plus he's in a different timeline he can't be related to him) and so during Sky's wedding, just right before Sky and Sun are about to kiss, a portal opens from the ceiling, and someone falls through on the ground, splattering onto the floor:

_____________

There's blood everywhere, people are screaming, and with the crowd of people running out on the building. Theres something else that came out of the portal as the person. A fading blue blob thing that screams in gibberish looking at the person and Sun. Sky doesn't have his sword on him. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck- this is what he gets for standing in the back waiting for- Oh fuck that either way he could have came! The person that landed on the floor, is dragging their legs to the blob, with their only other arm that's there and stabs it. The thing screams as it fades to ash. The person drops to the floor, but Twilight catches him before he could hit the ground (again). He doesn't get to hear the mysterious person but he could recognize that voice from anywhere, no matter how weak or scratchy it would be.

"Sorry everyone."

That was Wars, as Hyrule was rushing over to heal him.

_________

Okay that ain't angst enough for me so for a more proper "reunion", like a few weeks, no one let's Wind see Wars because they still treat him like the child he was even though he's as old as the others during the adventure across time! So he tries to sneak into Wars temporary room, while Wars tries to escape his room because he's gone stir crazy and yes Time he's fine! Just because he's gone through another war and lost a few important parts doesn't mean he needs coding! He has to make sure everyone is safe! So they bump into each other for the first time since they really last saw each other. (But that doesn't explain why Wind is crying- SHUT UP AND LET ME COOK) So they chat for a bit, like in a joking manner and Wars slips out that "Hey, another war happen and there was still some people across still stuck there." And Wind is mad that Wars just drops this kind of bomb, because why didn't he let the others come help him. So they end up arguing a bit and:

_________

"Why do you keep ignoring that we could have helped! I could have helped!" He yelled.

"If I dragged you there YOU could have died and Artemis wouldnt exist. I WOULDN'T EXSIST!" Wars yelled back.

__________

Now you see the angst?

So oof on both sides, Wars is internal bashing himself on the head, Wind is panicking because he becomes a dad, he's actually related to Wars- OH MY FUCKING SEA BOAT I MARRY TETRA?! And meanwhile Time is standing in the corner with surprise Pikachu face because oh shit Wars is from the timeline he technically abandoned. And like the fucking legend he came back when they needed him most

So that's uh what I have for now again.

[arundolyn]

relevant to nothing, but i wanna hear your thoughts on the natlan archon quest. am i the only person who's kinda salty with how it ended? i know they can't kill off mavuika cause they wanna make the archon playable, but it felt a little too convenient to me that capitano was just there to solve the problem. maybe i'm just coping since i wanted playable capitano. just wish the whole archon quest was written differently cause i'm so indifferent to mavuika. i still think she's cool, but there could have been more. hoping they make the second act of her character quest a banger. eh maybe it's just a me issue and i'm just burnt out from all the dense lore bombs in natlan -🍵

see. listen. its really funny. cause im a fatuihater on principle. i just Havent liked them. this made me like capitano. i was SEVERELY not vibing with him when he showed up and literally went "fuck it we're doing my plan". that was just Typical Fatui Shit to me and i was already rolling my eyes and sick of it. capitano actually gained my respect by having a genuinely interesting plot purpose and actually having principles he stuck by. i fully did not buy into him being all chivalrous and just like his lackeys talked about him being because the thing with just about every harbinger and in general fatuus so far is we're told one thing and shown a whole nother. this is probably the first time we had a genuinely altruistic harbinger, and also the first time we're shown The Bad and then Actual Good. every other time its been either Good no wait theyre Bad or Bad and then Worse. cant stand childe. dottore is just flat and lame because theres no substance to it other than He Feels Like It. arlecchino could be compelling but its severely hampered for me by her lack of self awareness. her and wrio are interesting character foils but the fact that she Genuinely believes shes better than crucabena and doing something good for Her Children is just such a HARD turn off because functionally she's in the same boat but with worse and deeper emotional abuse rather than flat out violence. i wouldnt mind as much if she like. admitted this. but she truly does seem to believe grooming kids into being soldiers is good when she does it so its like... nooooo.. nope. its So clear to me narratively she doesnt actually care for anyone in the house of the hearth on an individual level so much as theyre Her Property. her pawns. if someone gets hurt theyre messing With Her. this is just neatly dressed as the whole idea of Being Family. anyway thats not the point

^ i said that like a week before actually playing the last bit of the archon quest and like. i live in a hole so i dont really know how everyone Felt about the ending by and large but like. they won me over big time with that! not only was the scene really cool and the entire concept of no matter what happened there it was going to be cheating death was REALLY sick. that was a satisfying narrative arc 100000% and it was pretty well foreshadowed. im a sucker and told myself when i started the game like a month after it came out i was GOING to like the pyro archon and natlan no matter what bc something something native american vibes and i do genuinely love mavuika and enjoy natlan so like. im for sure biased. and it made narrative sense for her not to die yet even if she had already accepted she would. its also a satisfying end for capitano cause he actually achieved his technically impossible goal. he won against death! by dying anyway! and giving all the souls he had inside him somewhere to rest!

im also super biased bc the way capitano tried to kick the door down and say HEY we're doing things my way and didnt look like he wanted to defer to the people that Lived There that he PROFESSED TO CARE ABOUT simply did not sit right with me. heavy colonizer vibes. ESPECIALLY after the reveal that everyone would functionally lose their cultural identity if he did what he intended. and saying he cared about the people and land in question. like that simply Did Not Track. first harbinger ever to sit his white ass down and listen when mavuika told him to knock it the fuck off and honestly that was so real. they didnt fully win me over pretty much until he showed up in front of ronova and i knew Exactly what i was about to happen. they started to get me around the time he showed up at the flower feather clan but i was still suspicious. unironically him dying made me like him so much more cause it was actually. like. cohesive and sensical. some parts of natlan felt like a slog up to that point for sure but that was an Extremely good payoff for some things set up since the beginning. kinda makes up for the gosoythoth fight being pretty lackluster. i had also figured ahead of time they were gonna subvert the mavuika death bit and this kinda feels like the only way it couldve been done without being a total cop out. but tbh i get it and i doubt youre the only one since natlan has been pretty unpopular for various reasons

maybe capitano being there was some degree of contrived and convenient but idk. to me it felt pretty well thought out and when you think back on certain things even before he flat out tells you what his deal is they did foreshadow the whole being a vessel for other souls thing. interesting foil with both ororon and mavuika that way. he actually felt like a driven and consistent character when i was instantly under the impression when he showed up and started throwing punches at a god that he was just gonna be another guy here serving his own mystery agenda consequences be damned but he did kinda actually back up the fact that he cared about natlan and its people as well as his homeland and its remaining inhabitants so i do have to give props for that. like extremely. maybe its cause hes one of the only harbingers who doesnt give a fuck less abt the tsaritsa idk lmao. it was kinda sweet that mavuika conceded to him after he died as a sign of respect. cause like clearly after they werent opposed they had a lot of mutual respect for each other as leaders! refreshing to have a harbinger capable of listening to other people idk the M.O. of the fatui is really just wreck shit in a foreign land until they comply rinse and repeat kinda nice that was Fully not what he was going for. felt organic

[officialtayley]

i think social media has become a bit of a blessing and a curse when it comes to these things, without it we wouldn't be able to use our own voices to share resources and stand up for the innocent civilians who are at the heart of this horrible tragedy, and we wouldnt have been able to see nearly half the horrifying shit that is happening in gaza without social media but on the other hand it also inevitably gives voice to those with very contrasting opinions and stances on this, whereas before social media nobody would've been able to share their thoughts on things aside from with the people directly in their real life circles. it's frustrating because a lot of people have the right idea with this, it makes complete sense to want somebody with a large social media following who is known for advocating for the victim in the past (yes, not necessarily ALL conflicts everywhere all the time but this is unique in the sense that it may just be the most horrific we have seen in our lifetimes and one where uniquely, there's not a lot financially we can do to help) to at least point their audience in the direction of ways they may be able to help. one of the biggest things is people feeling useless/helpless at the moment and rallying together to make some noise to people in power is what paramore have done countless times in the past so how is it any different now? just because it isn't geographically a 'local' issue to them the US is still a key, if not the most powerful, figure at the centre of this and with an election coming up it would make sense to be encouraging people to think about what they want.

and even just beyond the fact that they're public figures, at the end of the day they are people just like us. so asking 'what are they gonna do about it?' is dumb and unproductive because what are we, as regular people, doing about it? we're doing whatever we can, because that's all we can do! it's not some abhorrent or overtly demanding thing to ask them, even on just a human level, to participate in the conversation when hayley herself has made it clear countless times that she doesn't care how 'loud' her opinions are she will make them heard. for example, she was so prompt to condemn desantis throughout the summer tour and faced a lot of backlash for that, and yet desantis has come out with a statement wholeheartedly backing US funded arms being sent to the military in israel and now there's nothing to say to him? i love hayley and the guys, i love everything that they've done for their fanbase to make all kinds of people feel welcome but it does feel disheartening. i'm not as disappointed in the band as i am in their fanbase though, this week and the way they've responded to the people who spoke up about how they could be doing more has really shown the ugly side that still persists and probably will forever exist unfortunately

sorry this is so long and sorry to rehash the same points that others have been making a hundred times over, it's just been circling my brain the last few days and not sitting right with me at all. hope you're all good and not getting overwhelmed by the stupidity in your ask box ash ❤️

i agree with everything you have said. you worded it better than i could.

and i'm in the same boat, the fans reaction is far more disappointing because it shows how they truly feel too. it shouldn't have been surprising tbh, i feel like you've never actually been able to criticise the band, hell even over shit as trivial as song opinions people will get extremely defensive and say you see the band as the hayley show, so this reaction has always existed within the fanbase but it's just usually over small and stupid things, so seeing it over something so big and serious, fans trying to throw idle worship in others faces, fans wanting to spew the same thing others did when hayley spoke out against desantis for example, genuinely disappointing.

i'm okay though. i just struggle to word things honestly, so i'm not overwhelmed, just frustrated. but like i said, i won't answer anything about it after today, at least anything that focuses on paramore not speaking up as that shouldn't be the focus.

[itsdappleagain]

ok since you want here is a summaryyy

so basically paper star has a giant crush on black sheep while they're at VILE, mostly because there are all these ginormous rumors flying around about her. that this is her second year, sure, but that she stole a helicopter and sabatoged all of her classmates' first heist in a jealous rage? seems unlikely, especially since the only time anyone hears her speak is when she's chewing out someone for being bigoted or a bully

so like everyone either hates her or has a silent fearful worship or is just flat out scared, but paper star wants to study her like a bug, and also to maybe press her against a wall

so anyway paper star just kind of stalks her all year a little bit and she's trying to piece together what she knows and finally she goes oh. black sheep wants to escape the island. and since shes a smart silly who has been watching black sheep for half a year she guesses most of her plan and while bs is moodily staring at the ocean one day she sits down beside her and goes hey this is your plan right? i want in please, no is not an answer

and black sheep is like what the fuck ive talked to you like three times. why would you even want to come we would both be enemies of the state and you wouldnt finish your education here

and paper star is like i can learn from you, you know everything, also i dont care and you seem more fun than this place, and also also i know all i need to with the origami throwing stars anyway. so

they end up working together in the end, not that paper star gives her much choice but to be honest bs is happy to have someone to help her and to sharr the burden of the secret and in the remaining weeks before december 1st they become genuine friends

bs does however make her promise that when they do escape they will not keep vile's methods and they will never kill anyone. paper stars like alright whatever sure as long as i get to steal shit

on the day of the escape which i havent entirely worked out they steal the boat and the hard drive without much of a hitch at all, with paper star ablr to run distractions to prevent lockdown from happenning and then they scamper into the night

however

when black sheep was stealing the hard drive she learned that the phone she'd been using to contact player had been destroyed and she makes it her mission to find him, not only to decode the hard drive but also to reconnect with her best friend

paper star acknowledges they need a hacker for the hard drive but shes a little jealous and suspicious of this "player" kid

cue road trip on the way to ontario where paper star is like bro you have no sense of style lets get you some real clothes bbgirl and black sheep is also like hey i hate my name and paper star is like i agree how about cardinal which is not something i have thought about in reference to you for hours no sirree bob. and black sheep being really easily influenced is like yes sick this is my entire personality now

so they get to ontario and i could go into detail but i havent worked it out yet. but they find player eventually and it creates some tension. they miss the boston caper because of the delay in getting the drive so im so sorry but no zack and ivy in this one maybe they'll get roped in later or smth

um but paper star and cardinal become a mildly unhinged and homoerotic crime fighting duo where they just blaze through vile capers and decimate the competition so eventually vile is like WHAT thr FUCK we're getting KILLED OUT HERE

btw during this paper star keeps getting more violent than cardinal likes but she lets it slide because it gets the job done with ruthless efficiency

i think im going to have vile send a or a group of operatives whose goal it is to but an end to them and cardinal gets in a really bad spot and paper star panics ans kills the guy whose attacking her

paper star is like i saved your life! and cardinal is like you promised me no matter what you would not kill anyone. what the fuck. you arent the person i thought i was having a more than friends situationship with augh augh augh damage

i didnt get it across super well but it would hopefully be friends to lovers at the same time as friends to enemies. revolutionary i know

not entirely sure from there if they make up or become rogue vigilantes... maybe paper star goes back to vile in the Ultimate Betrayal and they get a tragic and bitter homoerotic exes dynamic. wow also revolutionary

but anyways thats the rundown of what has been spinning in my brain a lot

@tiredguyswag

day 5: AU!!

i decided to draw my own take on the "paper star and carmen escape VILE together" au that has been floating around in my head for months and has a near incoherent three thousand word brainstorming doc to prove it

i also tried to redesign carmen, who i've decided calls herself cardinal in this au because there is no cookie booker escape with the coat and hat (paper star also influences the name).

i took inspo from harajuku fashion which i think is what PS is designed on also? i figured that since carmen sandiego adopted the first article of clothing she ever put on as her trademark that cardinal would just copy paper stars style and i think thats fun

so anyway. they're messy, they're gay, and they definitely have a big dramatic betrayal where they realize that there was never a future in which they could be together or something like that

[fiendishpal]

Please info dump about this Au and any other Au. I am craving content.

THIS IS A WHOLE WALL ASS OF TEXT OSAK ROYALTY AU GO! the world has a fantasy setting on the verge of industrialization so maybe about the late 1700s. but the idea of kingdoms is still prevalent. and obviously we're not following the world map here so i'm thinking each kingdom is a part of their own country and not all of them are in Japan. so travel takes weeks or days by boat or land travel from one kingdom to another. also, i dont want to heavily research on social etiquette in different parts of the world in the 1700s so im just making shit up as i go along on that department. but as far as transportation and communications go, they do have locomotives, railways, steam boats amongst other things. they wouldnt rely heavily on horseback anymore given these options. basically what i'm saying is that they aren't stuck in the dark ages. so anyway, why set on the verge of industrialization? well. what i have envisioned is that magic is slowly vanishing and the previous way of life where people heavily rely on magic isn't really gonna fly in the long run so people are finding ways on how to improve and maintain their way of life sans magic users.

with that said, magic users now are treated as gems and unearthed gold. So all magic-users are immediately registered and are under watch by the kingdom. in case some of them might go rogue or turn against the kingdom. So if you're a magic user, pretty much you and your family is well-known among the kingdom. Members of the royal family don't necessarily have the line of magic in their blood so it rarely happens. but when it does, it plays a huge part on social status amongst other kingdoms. BUT THAT'S NOT THE FOCUS OF OUR STORY! i said all that just so you'd all know what goes in the background while you think about this au hhahaha so you're probably thinking, why did fukurodani give up akaashi keiji ??? whisked away to inarizaki the answer might underwhelm you after all the ranting i just did with 'world building' but you know what? you asked for it hahaha there was a petty fight that happened between the royalty of fukurodani and inarizaki a generation ago so trade and passage between the two routes stopped completely. and years after, this substantially hurt both kingdoms economically. More fukurodani than inarizaki. but ofc, both kingdoms refusing to get off of their high horses wanted to make patching up as extravagant as they could. Inarizaki, wanting to take advantage of the situation, married off their prince, lording over their superiority over fukurodani. and fukurodani, not wanting to back down and wanting to tip the dynamics of power in their favor, promised inarizaki a magic user. a noble to boot. Inarizaki didn't hope for a magic user but they agreed anyway, thinking the union would be more in their favor bc a prince is a bigger bargaining chip than a duke's son. but when word came to inarizaki that osamu's betrothed showed signs of magic they knew the advantage was gone and both of the kingdoms are now on equal footing. so trade resumes, and after the wedding, the alliance between fukurodani and inarizaki solidified and relations between the two kingdoms became more than about trade, but the sharing of cultures, resources and most of all, peace.

BUT AGAIN, THIS IS NOT THE FOCUS OF THIS STORY!!! i just want this all out of the way so you’ll know the trepidation both osamu and akaashi had to wait until the moment comes that they resign themselves to a new life neither of them had the control to shift or change the course of. akaashi knew at 14 that he’d be taken away from his family but he also knew that if he stayed in inarizaki, fukurodani will become stronger and more prosperous for it so he goes and gets married off. he does what he is told to do but his heart aches still. and also that it’s akaashi that has gotten the shorter end of the stick??? he feels like a prisoner but not quite. bc one wrong move from fukurodani then inarizaki can basically take him as hostage and one wrong move from him then inarizaki can compromise trade with fukurodani

the same applies with osamu. if word comes to fukurodani that they aren’t treating akaashi properly, fukurodani can compromise trade with inarizaki.

[pompadourpink]

Hi mum! This is probably gonna sound so stupid but i need your advice on a topic. I know that its silly but it has been bothering my mind a lot lately. So im 17, nearly 18 and never had a boyfriend. And since im a senior now in high school, this year is important to me to achieve things academically. But in my class there is a boy, and i am in the same class with him for the first time so i dont know him very well. He is very smart, and you know those silent but witty and funny types? He's that. And for the first time in my life im feeling some tension when im around him, and it will probably sound so stupid but i know that he feels it too. There is just something really strong. And we havent even talked a word yet. God i know this sounds ridiculous i wanna punch myself. But he's always on my mind. I dont know what to do. Even if he asked me out (which would never happen ) i wouldnt go out with him because its a busy year for me and he is popular for his short term relationships with popular and pretty girls so im probably not his type anyway. I cant even wish that he likes me because he would break my heart. But i cant get him out of my mind. Please show me a way out. And at the same time i feel so shitty for never having a relationship. I know nothing about this stuff and i am a walking disaster so no boy will probably ask me out. It would be good if someone showed interest in me. What do you think i should do about that? Thank you for reading this i know its stupid but you give the greatest advice and i wanted to hear your take on it.

Aah also one of my friends has a crush on him. So imagine how shitty is my situation 😬

Hello darling,

A few things: 1/ no, you are not a walking disaster; you're trying to figure it out; 2/ no, you are not lame for having no past relationships; you're very young and it's all fine.

As usual, I'll be very candid because I've been in a similar boat.

You don't have a *crush* on the guy: you don't know him; you're fixating on the idea of him because you are inexperienced and romantic, and your brain has been filling in the gaps and making him into your idea of a great guy. I suggest you befriend him and figure out who he really is. Chances are he will be different than what you pictured, and you'll stop being infatuated.

I wouldn't worry about your friend - even if they start dating, she is probably going to get dumped after a few weeks when something better comes along since that is what he's been doing, so I don't think you will be missing much.

When I meet a guy, we're in for a three-week-long interview so I can see what he's like, what he stands for, etc., before anything happens. Once you discover your green, grey, and red flags, let them be your most faithful weapons.

Don't look for "the one - the definition is unstable, and everything is temporary. You don't have to look for a husband, but don't willingly get into relationships you'll have to heal from.

Many women live unhappy lives because society tells them that they are not complete if they're single, so they force themselves into a relationship with a guy who doesn't even like them, but is satisfied by a life where he gets free housekeeping and sex, and always has the last word because she won't leave him, which allows him to pretend he's incompetent to make her take care of more chores, flirt, be mean, etc. He might marry her and have kids because those are her conditions for staying with him, and he doesn't want to stop living like a bachelor and being served for the rest of his life. But he will remain a guilt-free bum because he never had any intention to change, while she's on social media wondering why he isn't interested in their third baby. When you are craving love, it is a risk. Know your worth. There are great men.

There are people interested in you. Definitely.

Now, a few general tips:

Appearance, especially for women, will be tied to your reputation; at the very least, act pleasant, wear plain/well-cut clothes your size, and have clean hair and nails. Get ready as if you were going to bump into a VIP. Leaving a great impression pays off.

Self-deprecation makes you look like a moron and get ghosted because self-deprecation screams insecurity, unreliability, maybe mental illness; no recruiter or bachelor wants that and toxic people do and will use it to destroy you. Stand straight, make eye contact, and speak at least neutrally about yourself.

The world is smaller than you think, and you might see people again: if someone annoys you, unless it is genuinely a question of ethics, let go. You can't get a second first impression, and you can't nail the first if people have been talking shit.

Feel free to DM me to chat some more!

Love,

Mum

[brelione]

The Countertop (Topper,Rafe,Kelce X Reader)

The Best Boys Masterlist

When Rafe got the text he was in the bathroom of the yacht,blood coming from his nose as he stuffed the small bag of white powder back into the pocket of his khakis.He heard the ding,looking over to check the notification.He felt his heart drop,regretting the line he just did. 

“Panic attack,(Y/N)’s house.”Was all the text said.Topper had sent it to the group chat with him,Kelce and Rafe.Rafe cursed,looking up in the mirror at his bloodshot,dilated eyes.He certainly couldnt help you,not when he was like this.He pinched his nose for a moment or two,letting it drip into the sink before he rinsed it down the drain,leaving the bathroom and putting his phone in his pocket.

He looked around at the groups of people,eventually finding Wheezie and gripping her shoulders. “I need you to cover for me.”He told her,completely serious.She frowned,looking over at Ward. “Where are you going?”She asked.He sighed,looking over the side of the huge boat to look at the Jet Ski that was tied by a thin rope. “(Y/N) needs help.”Was all he said,quickly thanking her before running down the flights of stairs to get to the lowest floor,gripping onto the railing and getting onto the jetski.

He tucked his phone into the pocket of his shirt,ripping the rope before gliding through the water as fast as possible,guessing on how to get to your house.He knew how to get to his house,at least.So thats where he ended up.He got onto his own dock,sprinting around the front of his house and getting into his truck,going way too far over the speed limit.

He pulled into your driveway,slamming on the brakes so he wouldnt crash into your garage.His door was opened before the truck was even parked,seeing Kelce’s car parked on the sidewalk.Rafe burst through your door,heart aching when he saw you sobbing,Kelce trying to talk to you while Topper rubbed your bare back. “What the hell happened?”He asked,not even understanding the situation.

You opened your mouth,trying to talk but only a sob came out,Topper pulling you back to him and tracing shapes along yout arm,whispering sweet nothings to you to try and help.He sent a glance towards Rafe,shaking his head.Rafe closed the door,sitting on the arm of the couch,slowly stealing you away from Topper and moving onto the couch,letting you squeeze him as tight as you needed too and he could feel your shallow breaths through his shirt.

Kelce was watching you,watching as the tears stopped falling,your eyes puffy and your bottom lip trembling.Rafe felt your grip on him becoming less tight,too weak to do squeeze him.He didnt move his arm away from you,knowing that if you were ready to let go you would push away from him. “What’s going on,princess?”He asked softly,careful to make sure his voice didnt come out harsh or shaky.

You gulped,licking you lips that tasted like salt and metal. “I hate my mom.”Was all you could say,your voice cracking.He nodded,kissing your forehead. “I know,baby.I know.”He answered,taking in a big breath.You huffed,pulling away from him,wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. “So how are you guys?”You asked,struggling not to cry again.

Kelce grinned slightly,squeezing your hand. “Im good,sweetheart.Do you want to talk about whats happening with your mom or do you want to be distracted by it?”He asked,tapping at your knuckles.You shrugged,feeling more sick than anything. “Okay,well why dont we go out to the pool so you can cool off then?”He suggested.You nodded,not fully away from Rafe yet.

Something was off with him.His hair looked like he had been pulling at it and he was more tense than usual,seeming like he was holding something back. “Um...you and Top have bathing suits upstairs.”You mumbled,your hand gripping the fabric of Rafe’s shirt.Topper nodded,tapping your ankle before he got up,Kelce giving you a small smile before going upstairs as well.You pulled away from Rafe,feeling your legs becoming tingly and your heart speed up,eyes watery. 

“Are you high right now?”You asked,a few tears sliding down your cheeks.He swallowed,looking away from you,eyes widening as he realised that he had just given himself away. “Rafe-you drove here high?”You asked,your voice high,eyes stinging.He nodded,not able to look back at you. 

“Jesus Christ-are you crazy?You couldve crashed or died or killed someone!I cant lose you-I cant fucking do it and mom is fucking gone and-and if I lose you what the fuck am I supposed to do?I dont understand why-I dont understand why you cant just-fuck.”You sniffled,trying to figure out what you were going to say.He looked up at you,feeling a lump in his throat. 

“You needed me here so I did what i had to do.”He answered,reaching for your hand only for you to pull away from him. “I hate you.”You mumbled,sniffing.His jaw dropped,a wave of nausea hitting him. “You cant mean that.”He whispered.Of course you didnt mean that.You could never hate Rafe even if you really wanted too. “You might fucking overdose or something.”You whispered,wanting nothing more than to cup his face and kiss him,tell him all your thoughts and twirl his fingers in your hair.

He shook his head,glancing over at the staircase every couple of seconds. “I wont,I wont.I dont do that much.”As the words came from his mouth he realised just how bad they sounded. “Bullshit.What happened in my bathroom then?That looked like a lot to me.”You took in a big breath,trying not to let yourself spiral again.

He just stared at you,hearing the other boys coming down the stairs. “We can talk about this later,okay?”He asked,leaning forward slightly.You nodded,looking over to see Topper and Kelce in their blue and grey bathing suits.Kelce stared at Rafe,silently telling him to go get changed.Rafe nodded,prying his eyes off of you and getting off the couch,heading upstairs.

Kelce sat down across from you where Rafe had previously been,his hands in his lap. “Do you need an ibuprofen or a hug?”He asked.You swallowed,leaning forward and resting your head against him,your arms around his bare shoulders. “THis sucks.”You mumbled,closing your eyes.He nodded,running his pointer finger along your spine. “I know,I know.Things will get better though.”He answered,his hands holding both sides of your head as he placed a kiss against your hairline.

You got up eventually,going upstairs to your room to grab a bathing suit,colliding your fist against the wood out of anger.Anger towards your mom,anger towards yourself,anger towards Rafe’s addiction.Rafe stood in the door way,confused as to what the loud bang he had heard was.You didnt notice him,throwing the clothes from your drawers all over the room,smacking the top of your dresser,your jaw clenching.

You brought your arm back to punch the wood again,only for someone to grab your arm,spin you around and push you against your dresser. “You have to calm down.”He whispered,holding tight on your wrists.You avoided eye contact,glancing down at his bare chest. “I am calm.”You replied,pushing him away as you went to find the one peice bathing suit that you had thrown across the floor.

He was just glad that you werent as bad now as you had been the last time he watched you get like this.You had started to punch yourself in the thighs and ankles until they were bruising.He had to pin your hands on top of your head and beg you to calm down.It had scared the living shit out of him.He probably couldve handled it better but Kelce wasnt there to talk to you which left just him to take care of things.

You finally found the black sim suit,not even caring at this point,tearing off your pants and kicking them into the corner.Rafe bit his lip,forcing himself to turn around.He heard the straps of the bathing suit smack against your shoulder,walking up next to him to grab a tshirt from your drawer and pull it on over the bathing suit,leaving your room and not bothering to clean up the mess that you had made.

He looked around your room,deciding he could just clean it up for you later.He followed behind you,noticing that the boys had already gone out to the pool. “Hey,lets talk.”He spoke,stopping you as you walked through the kitchen. “What?What do you want to talk about?”You asked,leaning against the kitchen counter.He sighed,his hands on the marble countertop o either side of you,staring down at you.

 “Whatever you want.I’ll answer whatever you want me to.”He replied.You nodded,thinking of everything you wanted to know.  “Whatever I want?”You asked.He nodded.“Have you….god,I dont know.Have you ever like….hurt someone when you were high?”You asked,knowing the answer when he started to bite the inside of his cheek. “Yeah,I have.I’d never hurt you though,if thats what your asking.”His hands tightened around the marble,watching as you bit your lip.

 “What about Top and Kelce?Have they ever done drugs?”You asked,nearly gasping when you saw him nod. “Did you make them do it?”You asked,dreading the answer. “I didnt force them to do it...Kelce only did it once and he only did one line.Top did three a couple months back.”Rafe answered,being as honest as he could with you. 

“When did it get this bad?You used to only do one line a week and now you’re doing like,a line a day.”You instinctively sat on the countertop,barely any space between you two.He cleared his throat,not knowing what to say because he didnt want to send you back into panic. “I know,im trying to get better.I’ve never done it in your house,like ever.You know that.”He reminded you,keeping his distance.

He figured that if he touched you at all you’d become insecure or angry,swat his hand away and probably begin to cry again. “Im not mad at you,you know that,right?”You asked,feeling your nose start to run again.You quickly pulled up your shirt,pinching your nose with the fabric.He nodded,tapping his short finger nials on the marble counter.The conversation went on for probably five minutes before the big question came,the one that you had been dreading.

 “Do you have any on you right now?”You asked,not even caring at this point.When the conversation began and you hadnt been shocked by any of his answers you probably wouldve been upset when he nodded.You werent upset,or shocked or even mad.Just numb. “I thought you were out on the boat,”You saw him frown,not understanding where you were going with this. “So how did you drive here?”You asked.He simply shrugged his shoulders,staring down at his feet.

 “I jumped off the side and got on the jet ski.”He answered,making you smile slightly. “You got onto the jetski and then drove over here?”You asked,your hand sliding down his arm and your fingers intertwining with his.He became less tense,his other hand no longer gripping the marble so hard that his fingertips were turning purple. “Yeah,I just peaced out.”He laughed quietly,his forehead resting onto your collarbone.You licked your lips,legs wrapping around his waist comfortably.

If only you knew the things that he felt within him when you did that. “Hey,”You mumbled,making him pick up his head a bit. “Do you….do you remember when you kissed me?”You asked,feeling him tense under you,his head moving off of your collarbone,staring down at you. 

“Yeah.”He answered.You nodded,hands ending up in your lap. “Did you tell Kelce?”You asked,not even understanding why you had asked that.Kelce had always been extremely important to you.He was the one person you could trust with your insecurities or ask him for coping mechanisms.Now you were starting to wonder if maybe you had a thing for Kelce.

Everyone was making you question your feelings and your sanity. “I mean,I kind of had too.You know how he is,he figures shit out by body language and he knows when something is going on.I dont even know,hes the only one that ever payed attention to Criminal Minds,im not even gonna lie to you.”he replied,biting his lip as he waited for your reaction,only to hear the sliding door open.

His head whipped around,seeing Kelce standing there with water dripping from him. “Are you guys okay?Its been like ten minutes since you’ve changed.”Kelce looked over at you,more specifically the position you were in with Rafe practically on top of you. 

“Yeah,yeah we’re fine.I was just talking about life.”You slowly got off the counter,flicking at Rafe’s thigh as you slid past him and walked by Kelce,going to sit in the shallow end of the pool.Kelce watched you,positive you couldnt hear as he entered the house,closing the sliding door and glaring at Rafe. “Did you say something to her?”He asked.

Rafe shook his head,attempting to walk past him only for Kelce to put a hand on his shoulder and hold him in place. “Why does she look more upset than she was ten minutes ago?”He asked,pushing further. “Because she found out that im high and got mad about it.We talked it out and now everything is fine,okay?”Rafe nodded a bit,sliding the door and walking out of the house,Kelce sighing.

Things were getting messy and he was always the one to hold things together.But now he wasnt even sure if he wanted to do that anymore.He stood in your house for a couple more minutes,finally putting a smile on his face and walking back out,seeing Topper kneeling in front of you and splashing water into your face.

You were squealing at the cold water,grabbing Topper by his wrists and pushing him back into the water,his hair becoming soaked and sticking to his forehead. “YOU BITCH!”Topper shouted,throwing you over his shoulder and running through the water and into the deep end,your legs wrapping around him tight so he’d go down with you.

Rafe grinned at your laughing,you rubbing your eyes and slicking your hair back out of your face.Kelce was tense,trying to soften up again but between Rafe’s smirk as he watched you,Topper holding you and the face that so much was happening was making him a bit mad.He stuck his feet in the pool,not paying attention to much except for the clouds that were moving at sloths pace.

He felt two warm hands wrap around his shins,trying to drag him into the water.He grinned,kicking his feet and forcing you to let go. “You’re no fun.”You pouted,elbows on his thighs as you stared up at your friend.He grinned,shrugging at he ringed the water from your hair. “You seem like you’re in a mood,whats up?”You asked,ignoring Rafe’s stare. “I dunno,kind of just stressed.”He answered,holding onto your hands as he moved his feet in circles underwater.

 “Did you eat today?”You deepened your voice,grinning as he flicked you on the head. “Shut up.”He smiled,licking his lips. “Do you want to have a movie night tonight?I kind of just want to forget about things,you know?”You asked,tapping your fingers on his chest.He nodded,agreeing. “What movie do you want to watch?”He asked,helping you out of the pool so you could sit next to him.

 “I dont know,maybe a horror movie.I feel like it’ll get my mind off of reality.”You replied,squinting as the sunlight hit your eyes,not aware of the silver car that had just pulled into your driveway,someone walking right into your house as you sat at the pool with your friends.

@sweetlittlegingy​    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky @jjjmaybank @gracelovesbroadway  @one-stella @outerbongs  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​ @spn-marvel-nerd​ @i-love-scott-mccall 

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[thoi2020]

u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

[eldritchforesthorror]

im playing ac vallhalaha again bc of course i am, but when you go to build the assassins bureau Hytham...talks like he thinks hell be doing the missions to find the old hidden ones locations and find the zealots by himself. at this point you can already fight a zealot so like, we know were going to be fighting them. but Hytham doesn't. Basim doesn't tell him he like...cant DO things until when? when hes leaving? probably like right before so he can just. leave. and not have to deal with hytham being upset.

the trip over is like 2 weeks i think layla says so. for 2 weeks atleast on a boat Basim told him probably talked to him about what they would be doing in England but didn't tell him like hey. youre not going to be able to actualy go out and do missions. 

like i like Basim as a character, but FUCK i hate basim. 

expanding on that, basim had already (right after Hytham gets hurt, the last part of Norway) is giving you tips on how to assasinate people. like he KNEW hytham wouldnt be able to assasinate the zealots right away. he even says like hell never fully recover so he knew.

[sisyphus-prime]

(Bugsnax Spoilers( It's been a bit, but could you talk more on the Floofty when snorpy dies, or snorpy when floofty dies.

Aye. I can absolutely do that. Gonna be rambly as f because yah

Okay okay okay I gotta uhhh

I said a bit before about how Floofty would have a delayed response. And I still like.. think that entirely, there is just. They're on the beach, and they dont talk about snorpy and behave like there isnt anything wrong as a way to.. skirt around the situation as it were. Hes not dead if you don't say it right? Right??

Well, it's easier to pretend at least. And when in the safety of their home, I dunno, they get to a point of lowered guard where they can't really pretend. And it hits hard. Knees buckling underneath them hard. And the problem with that is that's a sort of reaction you cant just shove it down again. It's one thing If they didnt get to test bugsnax and their regenerative properties, it's another if they tried. Because here they are, mostly fine, and Snorpy, who had stopped them from doing something stupid, is not. and how is that fair? They probably lie there for a while regardless, probably not crying hard. but teary enough that it's an issue and just... pain.

I feel like Floofty would have a hard time getting any emotional thoughts across in general, and the emotions held onto through all that would be grief, pain and pure rage. It doesnt matter what conspiracy nonsense this may or may not be, they're gonna be in the same boat as Chandlo about striking back as hard as possible over this if the chance comes. They talked about trying to be better about not insulting people, but the bitterness of the loss of their brother sort of.. leaves that in the dust.

They shove it all down the best they can, and try to go back to functioning normally, But there's only so long they can do that, and they can only adapt to shaking hands so much.

------------

Snorpy, on the other hand, is purely in denial. Chandlo is fine. He is fine. Of course Floofty would be fine. Floofty is their sibling, if they could survive cutting their leg off without proper support or help, they could handle a few bugsnax. Grumpanati scheme or not, if Floofty wasnt part of them, they could surely outwit them. Of course they could.. don't give him that look, Floofty is just.. they're fine.

And Snorpy keeps this up all the way home. And for the rest of the day. And for a week. And adamantly refuses a funeral because of course Floofty is fine they just.. maybe they accidentally got left behind. And they're with Liz and Eggabell. They- they-

There is just so much denial, there is an adamant avoidance of the truth that becomes steadily apparent to everyone else as it fades from genuine belief to more of am act. And dawg...

...you can only keep it up that much at that stage. Probably takes a decent push from Chandlo before Snorpy even let's himself grieve properly. And it just. All that stress that's been building up as he kepts pulling out idea after idea and connection after connection to try and come up with some truth that his sibling was fine and he just. Basically collapses because it's just finally letting that finally hit properly. And putting it off didnt make it any friendlier

Man... if he didn't have chandlo though. That's double the loss on his shoulders, and there is no denying when Chandlo was right there. But without his support... there is a difference in the trust and security found between him and Chandlo vs him and every other grumpus. And he probably wouldnt have the strength to let go of that hope that Floofty was okay until far too late.

Tl;dr:

floofty's grief response is delayed and the loss of snorpy makes them insanely bitter and angry after kinda going docile for a bit, and they can't hold the emotions down but theyrr trying so hard to

Snorpy's grief response is denial and he holds onto it the best he can while coming up with so many connections and solutions to how his sibling must be alive and is even holding on to it when he doesnt believe it. It's only with Chandlo helping him get through the emotions can he grieve properly. Without chandlo, it's. He doesn't let go for so much longer, if ever

[local-paranoid-cryptid]

Mount!au

Kay so, basically yall know how there are mounts in terraria? (like the bunny, slime, unicorn, etc.) yea well, I made this au where the dream smp has them, but bigger. 

like Tubbo has 3 massive bees he can ride, dream has a giant wolf Princess Mononoke style but bigger, etc. 

this is a massive idea dump and theres a lot below the “read more”

alright so starting off is the sbi because they live in my head rent free.

philza: giant bird, specifically a grey hawk.

-Phil found him in his hardcore world as a baby when he was abandoned in a nest. he swore he wouldnt get attached but after the first week he failed. 

-I dont have a name for the bird yet. (please give me ideas ;-;)

-Mumza bought a saddle after about two years and when he was fully grown.

-about 33 feet in length with a 77ft wing span. (I’m basing the length off the Quetzalcoatlus, so if you need a ref for size comparison, there you go.)

Wilbur: orca

-he went to visit techno and Phil ONE TIME, and he leaves with an entire pod of orcas.

-when the waters continued to warm they slowly left until there was just one.

-that orca stayed with him the entire time

-Wilbur told him he could go back to his family, but he just stayed with him. 

-the orca is about 25 feet in length

-he doesn’t have a saddle bc he’s a slippery boi

-he does have a harness though

-no one is allowed to take it off him. Except Wilbur.

Techno- Cat, specifically Norwegian Forest Cat 

Imagine, you’re in a boat at your destination, you exit the boat and climb the icy mountain. Checking the map only to see that someone is close behind. you continue to climb to the top expecting to see nothing but snow and frost. But instead you find a massive sleeping feline. You didn’t mind all that much so you leave it be, after all, it was here first. Your best friend and only ally arrives, and soon, the person that was following does too. “Just stab ‘em” you say, not wanting to deal with the person. There’s a flash, the cat is now at the foot of the mountain, the person that was following you hanging in their mouth.

-tl;dr Technos POV: you find giant touchstarved cat at the soon-to-be Antarctic empire

-that’s it. 

-when the cat sits and techno is right next to him, it looks like a parody of My Neighbor Totoro.

-same size difference too lol

-the cat is named floof

-it’s one of those cats that act like they haven’t been touched in years and are starved of any and all physical affection.

-techno acts like he hates it but he actually enjoys it 

Tommy: wolf dog

-Tommy wandered from home into the woods for too long when he was like 4 and came back with a wolf dog. Tommy how does that even happen-?

-Phil yelling into the forest: Tommy, dinners ready!

-Tommy, emerging from a bush: can Lucy come too?

-Phil: Sure!

-Tommy: *comes out of the forest covered in mud and leading a black wolfdog puppy that’s about the size of a full grown wolf home*

-Phil: Tommy wtf-

-fully grown, her shoulder is at Tommy’s head

-her energy matches Tommy, loud, hyper, and constantly needs to be with friends.

-they’re always seen together

Tubbo: bee (3 bees)

-there are just three bees, spins, spunz, and spoons.

-His parents didn’t know about them at first but imagine their surprise when they entered their son's bedroom to see him cuddling three bees two and a half sizes bigger than him.

-Suddenly everything made sense, the books about bees, internet searches about beekeeping, and the increase of yellow in his bedroom.

-Tubbo sells honey to the kids at school and somehow started a mafia-like system using honey and honeycombs.

-he doesn’t get it either.

The four muffinteers+skeppy and Antfrost:

Dream: a wolf

-he found him while practicing speed running

-the same size as Technos cat

-has a saddle and a green collar with the famous smiley face on it

-very stubborn and act like a husky

-can and will howl at night

-dream also has a little blob thing that is constantly either sleeping in his pocket or vibing on his shoulder. No one knows what it is or how it got there.

George: a green parrot 

-While in the jungle trying to track down Dream with the rest of the hunters he lost his compass. The parrot dropped the compass on his head and the rest is history

-often takes his glasses and puts it on high shelves

-dream and Sapnap taught him to call George “gogy”

-a bit smaller than Philzas bird

-please submit more headcanons bc I have no ideas ;-;

Sapnap: a fire dragon

-it’s a small dragon tho lol

-can cling onto Sapnaps back and fly (but it ruins his shirts)

-it’s like Happy from fairy tail

-hordes anything sparkly like a crow

-has stolen techno’s crown at least once

-not including it’s tail, it’s head is to Sapnaps hip

-acts like a ferret

Antfrost: Siamese cat

-smaller that floof by a foot

-big floofy paws

-the biggest blue eyes you’ve ever seen

-would rather play/hunt than be pet

-sleeps all the time

-please give me more ideas/headcanons, I had no ideas.

Badboyhalo: Scarlet macaw

-same height as him (counting tail)

-often annoys bbh by pulling his hood down in serious moments or stealing his glasses

-started repeating words like “Language” “Muffin head” and much to bbh’s dismay, “Bald” and “14″

-her name is Strawberry

-loves skeppy

-often sits on his shoulders behind back

Skeppy: Hyacinth macaw

-same height as him (counting tail)

-will often peck skeppy bc diamonds

-his name is Blueberry

-loves bbh

-no one knows how they found each other, Skeppy just says he found him when he was a mod for bbh’s server.

-prefers to perch on larger diamonds that stick out of Skeppys arm. Don’t worry tho, it doesn't hurt him.

headcanons, writings, and fanart are appriciated! (please tag me, I wanna see your beautiful works :D)

if you have any ideas and/or questions dont hesitate to ask me, I love answering questions and hearing your thoughts :)

[kraviolis]

imagine guillermo meeting a vampire in london and having a nice relationship bc they respect each other equally based in the fact that ones a vampire and ones a van helsing and they acknowledge theyre both strong and they actually get along and like each other 🤭 and nandor makes his way to london on his world tour and sees this relationship budding and gets jealous and has to face that he doesnt treat guillermo right and does everything he can to fix it and humble himself

SCREAMS. NANDOR GETTING JEALOUS IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEE we’ve seen so much of guillermo being jealous of nandor’s relationships its only fair to see nandor’s jealousy

see nandor would be angry at guillermo the whole trip up until he sees him again and then his vulnerable feelings come out and he just feels crushed. he 100% would be like “what did i do wrong? i thought i was giving him what he wanted?? did i hurt him somehow??? it must be my fault i must have misread the signals” and just seeing guillermo even hanging out willingly with some other vampire would have him coming up with a plan to win him back and prove his dedication to guillermo.

it wouldnt just be nandor‘s plan tho, nadja would funnel her marital problems into nandor and guillermo’s relationship problems and force nandor to sweep guillermo off his feet and prove to the bodyguard that he will treat him with so much more respect under threat of death and dismemberment bcus she would have grown to care for our little memo in their 2 week boat ride together and subsequent stay in london (they bonded over how they’re going to torture laszlo to death when they see him again)

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Phsychokinesis

You meet the League and butt heads with Clark.

Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Panic attacks

Phsychokinesis 

You sat in the back of the batmobile for what felt like hours lost in your own thoughts, you regreted this already, why rock the boat now? you were fine, you were learning how to do this on your own, you didn't need anyone they'd get in the way Or hurt! Then they'd hate you, hunt you down, you wouldn't get away! Either that or they'd see you for the monster you was and just leave you somwhere this was a stupid idea, a silly childish hope of a fairytale ending of a home ,acceptance the hope of finding people who will understand, they wont, no one understands they can't. You panicked your breathing shallow, out! you had to get out slowly you looked around looking for the hinge that held the door infront of you closed it had flipped up like a trunk but in your panicked state you wouldnt be able to concentrate enough to send out your ripple instead you had to touch it you fumbled with the harness style seat belt cursing when your fingers couldn't grip finally useing your power the split the mechanism down the seam it must have sent a warning to him in the front as you heard his voice a few seconds later.

"Kid? Calm down Whats the matter?-" 

"NO! Let me out stop, I've changed my mind I can do it on my own!" You cried out leaning forward blindly running your hands over the top of the door sliding your palms hurried wanting to find the weak spot to tear at sniffling as tears began falling blurring your vision 'stupid your so stupid!' You thought repeating over and over scrabbling over the top you couldnt find it! He continued talking low and calm trying to ease you out of your panic attack.

"Hey kid its okay your scared its natural to be scared okay? But I promise whatever your think is going to happen isn't, none of us are going to let anything happen to you, just take some deep breaths for me in......then out.....again for me in ...... and out....." you closed your eyes doing as he said kneeling on the floor shivering from the aftermath of your break down as you felt the vehicle stop. You slumped resting your head on the door in front of you and spoke in a quiet voice

"I can't do it again" You held your breath when you got no reply had he listened? 

"Do what again?" You stayed silent he wouldn't have it and asked again in a different way

"What are you afraid of? Tell me so I can help, we just want to help"

"....I'm better off alone.." and there it was your words were loud and clear Bruce read between the lines the truth behind your fear and panic,abandonment, a kid who lost her parents and has been passed here there and everywhere thrown from home to home until finally you run away deciding you dont need anyone else he sighed.

"We wont leave you, not now your here weather you belive it or not the second you stepped into this car you were one of us and the others are eager to meet you" 

"And when I hurt one of you? It will happen it always does its why they get rid of me." You venom in your voice made his blood go cold, you sounded like one of the many nut jobs he put away behind bars, the ones that wanted to watch the city burn with everyone in it ,all he could do was hope he wasn't to late.

"The only one you could hurt is me and if I'm not mistaken we have been over that already and you said so yourself you caught it, was I angry? Did I shout and attack you? Or call for back up? I could have but did I?"

 You looked down fidgeting with your fingers a little feeling small he almost sounded like a parent and not in that hyped up I'm right and your wrong way you were used to it was more like trying to get you to understand him something you hadnt heard in a long time.

"Well? I expect an answer young lady"

"No, you didn't do none of those things"

"Right and you know why? It was an accident and accidents happen, besides one of us will always be there to watch out for you,everyone in this place is faster then you physically we are all stronger than you there is no need to worry, now lets go meet the team, We are already here." You sniffed a little wiping at your eyes.

"I suppose....I'm scared" He chuckled at that you sounded so tiny and vulnerable 

"No their not scary at all come on" you waited a few breaths then the door opened and he was in front of you he sighed quickly lifting you out palcing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You looked around this place was huge with various different vehicles air land and sea all in matte black spanning the length of the huge space.

"Holy shit..." he hummed in agreement 

"Immpressive huh?" You looked around some you recgonized from news footage in gotham.

"Yeah you have a lot of.....weird  things here" he shrugged just happy that your little break down had passed, he knew the others were watching through the security eager to meet you, but he wanted to make sure you were okay. He cleared his throat nodding to the elevator that would take you up into the main tower.

"This way we can go and meet the team then get you settled in for the night" you blinked at him

"What?" He crossed his arms standing tall

"Well it is nearly eleven pm and your only what fourteen? you shouldnt be up this time, what about school?"

"Im sixteen and I don't go to school I do online...when I can be bothered" he sighed walking to the elevator you trailed behind him as he sent it moving up.

"Fine, either way you can stay here tonight, there is a room ready for you" you nodded a little apprehensive finally the doors opened revealing a huge room with a large round table the others sat around it smileing at you batman pushed you forward when he saw you freeze a little the small nudge sent you walking forward into the room. Wonder woman was the first to approach you with a smile

"Hello Im Diana its nice to meet you we're glad you decided to come" she was beautiful ,polite and looked kind, you almost forgot how powerfull she was just by speakjng to her

"H-hi Im y/n its....nice to meet you too" you said quietly scanning the room still nervous looking for escapes just incase, the window, thick glass but doable not sure how far the free fall would be- your thoughts were interrupted by a gruff voice

"I wouldn't we're pretty high" you snapped your gaze up to Aquaman he was....unerving to say the least, he gave of a chill and slightly playfull attitude.

"What?" He smirked nodding to the window

"Your checking for escape I could see it in your eyes, hell sometimes I want to throw myself out the window to escape this lot but were pretty high, I mean wonder boy over there would catch you no doubt but still waste of a window dont ya think?" You smiled a little blushing tangling your hands in your hoodie.

"Itd be fixed before I was a quarter of the way down, its just a habit.Sorry" He smiled waving it off

"Nah your fine its smart you want a back up plan I'm Arthur by the way." You nodded still lookkng around everyone noted you didn't drift to far from Bruce which in a way was good he become a sort of saftey net it seemed. They all new what happened on the way here and downstairs. You were holding up well considering how terrified you were. They all drifted to the table taking their seats, when you didn't follow Bruce came up behind you taking your bag walking to the huge round glase table you followed behind him.

"Jesus what do you have in here? Thats way to heavy for you to be lugging around" he complaind as he set it down lettingnyou take a seat next to him.

"Books,clothes, my phone ,headphones and purse I take everything with me when I leave the homes, its easyier that way don't have to go hunting for it later" you shrugged everyone in the room frowned. It was Clark who began speaking

"So thats everything you own?" You nodded a little scared of him if you were honest you were scared of all of them.

"Pretty much, when it comes to foster homes in Gotham their not the best to put it bluntly us kids are money makers, the state pays them to take me in, when your younger theres more to it they put you somewhere nice with good poeple that care, you know try to make you a model citizen all that crap but teens no we get the shit ones given a bed and told to get on with it we are lost causes by this point just waiting to age out and be fucked off, I haven't been to my foster home in three weeks they haven't tried to get in touch or anything they dont care, occasionally they file a missing persons report and police find you and take you back but thats only cos of the inspections if I aint there when the do a spot check the money stops and they can be stricken off the register loose about $400 a month, but I prefer being out on my own" He frowned crossing his arms infront of his chest taking a deep breath leaning back, you fidgited a little under his intense gaze leaning to Bruce he didn't look happy at all and you weren't sure what you'd done but you felt like you'd irritated him, you cast a glance to Batman who was giving you a similar look making you gulp.

"So where have you been sleeping then for these three weeks?" you snapped your head back to the Man of steel.

".......with freinds and stuff....." he raised an eyebrow he didn't need to hear your pulse change to know you were lying it was clear from the way you spoke quiet and high but he would leave it for now.

"Well from now on you will be home by eight at the latest" you blinked you were expecting an argument or some dismissive 'oh it can't be that bad' but not a curfew... honestly you wasn't sure what to make of it and that made you angry, you wasn't used to people caring for you, your first instinct is to scare them away.

"err what? not being funny but I'm here to get my freaky power under control not to get a fucking life coach, had one he quit...like not just me he quit completely something about having the devil inside or something...Not sure if that was aimed at me tho...Probably...He was old as shit" you shut up when he tilted his head leaning back it was a very...Parental gesture you swear your dad did the same thing when he was alive.

"Well that was before I learned of your situation and the fact that your living on the streets at the moment." you growled at him any fear replaced with anger and a little panic he knew... he definitely knew you were lying the air rippled around you coming to life.

"Are you deaf? I've been staying with friends.... Not that its any of your fucking business" 

"Friends from your online classes you never do? now I don't see that somehow" you shook glaring at him 

"Fuck you!" he stood up not taking notice of the way your eyes glowed you panicked normally that was enough to make them back off he wasn't, standing you faltered not sure what to do you wanted to scare him off, make him back down but you didn't want to hurt him, you freaked out a little as he continued coming around towards you swearing trying to pull back your power not wanting to attack him but in the state you were in it was hard you couldn't grasp it you winced hearing the crackling of the floor beneath you fighting it as it tried to rise up toward him.

"Calm down. I know your lying I can hear it in your pulse now I know for a fact that you've been on the streets and I'm guessing its more because your frightened of hurting them rather than all this teenage 'better of alone' bravado your trying to play it off as. And as for having a life coach Instead of that you'll be getting a family"

"Shut up!" you were really panicking now he had managed to figure you out break past your walls quick and you wanted him to stop.

"...I know your a good kid and have had a rough ride having to grow up to soon now its time to be a kid again. So from now on you will have a safe place to stay each night sometimes that will be here other times it will be with one of us" he kept coming slowly towards you, you stepped back only everyone watch tense but not out of fear or trepidation just ready to dodge what ever you might do.

"I'm not going to be a fucking charity case- this was a bad idea Im leaving" you made to grab your bag  but it wasnt by you chair anymore you swore 

"Your not leaving and your not going to be a charity casenow calm yourself down" 

"What you can't force me to stay here!" You backed off now sending out your power feelkng for your bag wanting to get out of here fast, this was a stupid thing to do, trust people? You cant trust anyone.

"I will if I think thats whats best for you,you can't hurt me... You can't hurt any of us and that is probably scaring you isn't it? its been a long time since you wasn't the strongest person in the room, since you were able to be yourself with out having to have absolute control of every thought and movement... I know because I've been there myself when I was growing up and the shock and fear I had fighting Zod and Batman it was frightening realizing that I could be hurt, its terrifying having something you don't understand or control and you think no one will understand, thats the same for each of us at some point we realized we are not like everyone else and we were alone wanting help someone to turn to thats why we are going to help you, so you can have some form of normality" you gave him a side glance shaking he understood? you thought he must of had it worse you couldn't imagine having to deal with his abilities. 

"Normal? Thats not an option for me, people can't even touch me" you cried out as he sped towards you tuggeding you forward to him making you jump everything happed so fast you couldn't catch it you closed your eyes tight shaking like a leaf knowing that you'd just attacked him unintentionally probably killed him you whined waiting for the inevitable attacks from the others instead the hug tightened he chuckled 

"Look its okay"slowly you opened your eyes looking down the small spikes had snapped as they touched him instead of impaling him you gasped stepping back.

"They didn't?" he smiled shaking his head.

"No they cant...I told you, you cant hurt us" you smiled a little sniffling as tears escaped you felt silly but happy relieved you might be able stay here... you could be here with them with out worrying about loosing control they can handle it.

"I-I dont have to run?" he smiled pulling you back against him

"No you dont have to run...I'm sorry I had to make you attack me it was the only way to make you see you can't hurt me and its the same with Victor, Arthur and Diana Barry is to fast and Bruce well he will think of somthing he usually does, here you can be yourself and relax a little be a kid again and yes that means rules and curfews" you smiled nervously as he retreated a little he was sad you hadnt returned the hug he could tell you were touch straved and you probably didn't even know it.

"I-I cant stay what about the social workers-"

"Hey what did he just say? you be the kid we will deal with all that." it was Diana who had interrupted as supes made his way back to his seat faster then you could register pulling back looking at the floor correcting it as you sat back down.

".... was a dick move tho supes"

"Clark call me Clark, no need for our other names here we're family" you nodded a little it sounded strange when he said it. 

"and I would appreciate it if you watched your mouth its not lady like" you snorted 

"The only lady like thing on me is my v-jay" you deadpanned Arthur roared up at that as Clark rolled his eyes next to introduce themselves was a man who didn't look much older than you.

"Hi I'm Barry, its great to have someone not old here now, they look fun but they are all boring" you laughed at to chorus of grunts and scoffs.

"Well I can't promise I'll be much fun.." he shook his head

"Seriously? I cant wait to see you in action properly, its one thing to see it on screen but honestly, I wanna see you do the glass thing how does that work anyway? Like how do you do what you do?" You leaned back into your chair.

"Err its kind of weird.... its like ripples?" he tilted his head

"Ripples?" You nodded nervous knowing everyone was listening.

"Yeah o-or waves, Im always sending them out  and I can feel everything they feel.... so sitting here I can feel the wall over there.....its close so I can make better sense of it and have better control I can move it like clay.... then to fix the things I break I just zip them up....I can show you if you like? and its okay?"you looked around the room everyone nodded a gruff

"Just be careful" came from behind you, within seconds your eyes glowed bright and the huge table shattered into hundreds of thousands of tiny pieces across everyone they stayed still holding there breath.

"did you hit it? To make it do that?" Arthur asked wanting to understand how it works.

"No I pulled it from all sides ,It feels like pulling apart a huge jigsaw when I do that.....tugging I can stretch it two but that makes it weaker I just make it thinner and larger when I do that.....then I just think of the pieces edges being a zipper that fits back together. Its ends up being so tiny you can't see it" You did as you said pressing them together slowly but surly the table mended itself creating three thirds then used the floor to push them up until it mended from the center out becoming crystal clear glass again.

"OH GOD THAT WAS SO COOL! Can you fix my phone screen its been annoying me for weeks?" You nodded as he produce the phone and you quicky fixed it for him he stared at it in awe running his fingner over wheee the cracks were

"Thats so cool...And usefull"

"Phsychokinesis" you turned slowly to the final man.....cyborg 

"Phsychowhatsit?" He chuckled at you

"Thats your gift its called phsychokinesis like telekinesis but instead of moving things without touching them you can manipulate physical things, their forms, but my geuss is for some reason you can pinpoint actual molecules instead of clumps of them together" you tilted your head at him you it had a proper name.

"Yeah thats right I can't make things float, only move and change em and I can't do it on anything living no plants or animals." He nodded 

"Im victor, the one who found you, I've seen you do some incredible things.....Are you aware of everything that you do or does a lot of things just happen?" You shrugged

"Most just happen, the table I did but.....when people make me jump I try to attack them" you cast a guilty glance at batman behind you he waved you off.

"I dont mean to and if I trip or fall the ground softens ,if i fall really high it rises to catch me...water to I can't go onnthe diving board it gets weird...I don't do any of that either just happens....but I catch them most of the time before things go to bad"

"Self preservation, you said you send out these....Ripples all the time? You cant pull them back?"

"No I tried once it really hurt it was like....It felt like someong ripping my skin off, of burning my nerves i passed out in under a mineut....my fault tho" Arthur sat up leaning over the table

"Whats your fault?" You smiled sadly

"I- after I killed my parents I put it away it was an accident but it was me who did it.....Stopped useing it completly I'd suppressed it then about a year ago.... yeah I had to use it to save my freinds on a school trip... I tried to sheild them protect them, but the oil tanker was huge! I couldnt hold it for long and as much as I wanted to I just couldnt push it back to the water and......my gift it was much stronger then I remembered it hurt.....couldn't hold it... since then I can't put it back" 

"So you've always had it? Then surpressed it for years and then it blew up and now you can't control it?  I think it reacts to protect you, when you fall you don't want to hit the ground and be hurt so it moves to accommodate you instead your power is trying to protect you." 

"That....makes a lot of sense.... shit word tho my names gonna be fucking lame...." Barry laughed.

"eh we can thing of somthing.... well I can they all added man and woman to something" you giggled a little Diana got up smileing at you

"Y/n its late we should probably get you to bed" you blinked at her then got up slowly. Everyone said their good nights as you left the room looking around wearly

"Dont worry, nothing will happen here" she said moving closer slowly hooking an arm across your shoulder you tensed but it only flicked across the floor, like a stepping into a puddle of sand then levled again you relaxed again.

"See? Like Clark said we are family here so just think of us as your aunt and uncles we will protect you...now this is your room you can decorate it soon and there is a small ensuite to, all of us have rooms here homes away from home and soon you will probably be coming with us to our other homes aswell but for now you will stay here training for a while while we sort out the legal side of things. Im across the hall Clark is next door and Bruce two doors down"

"Bruce?" She rolled her eyes a little snorting

"Batman, he always finds a way to hide his own name paranoid bat" you sighed frowning

"ho-how are you going to sort out the social worker thing? I know you said not to worry but I wont be able to sleep..." she smiled patting your shoulder sitting on the bed with you.

"Adoption and as much as I would love to adopt you from what just happend I'm pretty sure Clark isn't going to let anyone else do it"

"Sounds like you knew my situation befor I got here, you can't just adopt me tho thats like a lot of home checks and and you have to pay a lot of money thats not fair-"

"We did know...Bruce has adopted his fair share already and will be pulling a few strings for us tho as I said I'm pretty sure Clark has decided already you need a more quiet stable home, as lovely as Bruces children are they are boisterous and human which can put you on edge which isn't what we want. Clark has one kryptonian son who is older than you and would be well equipped to help you over come any hiccups.Now just relax, go have a shower brush your teeth and get some sleep?" you looked at her wide eyed adopted...By Superman....and having a brother who you also cant hurt.

"Im not tired-" she tilted her head raising a brow at you

"You need sleep your a growing girl, I expect you in bed in half an hour I will know if your not and if your not I'm sending in Clark" you nodded in a way it was nice having someone who cared.

"Good night I will see you in the morning" she said closing the door. You looked across the room it was nice a large twin bed, your bag had been placed on it somehow, a desk tv on the wall built in wardrobe and a door in the corner what you assumed lead to the ensuite. after a few moments you got up using the shower and brushing your teeth before changing and crawling into bed, tonight was strange but it was nice to have somewhere safe to sleep and you was happy you couldnt hurt superman. you fell into a deep sleep fairly easily to warn out not to vaguly aware of someone pokeing their head in the room to check on you.

[exchonoir]

Wouldnt call it a mistake (p.2)

It was silent for a second, as if the small child wasn’t entirely aware of what was going on. You could have waited until a better time, probably not bedtime but you knew it was finally time to tell everyone the truth. Mason put his hand on your shoulder, signaling to be put down and so you did just that. There was a split second of worry as you watched your son walk up to Gibbs, no words were said between and yet Gibbs picked him up.

“Mason stared at him for a second, but you weren’t quite sure if he was actually thinking about what was said or if he was just looking at his dad. It was a moment you wanted to mentally capture, your son and Gibbs, it was something you wanted for years. “He got you some gifts love, but those will have to wait until morning. You should have been asleep minutes ago.” You spoke, slightly disturbing their little moment.

Gibbs nodded towards him before tilting his head toward the stairs, a silent way of asking if he could take him to bed, and you nodded. Watching them head up stairs warmed your heart, maybe it was the fact that your boss was letting his walls down and being a father. For the first time in five years you felt like things were falling into place, and you had both of your boys together. You weren’t sure what could go wrong, but you can make it through it

....

Maybe you couldn’t, it’s been two months since your son and Gibbs had officially meet, things were going strong and Gibbs had you both move in with him. The only problem is that all of his ex’s wanted to get into your head. Twice a week, at different times, they would ‘magically’ find you out, and make sure you know that Gibbs was only around because you had a son together. It was a nightmare, you tried not to let it show that it was bothering you but that doesn’t mean it didn’t cling onto your bones.

It was starting to take a toll on whatever you were with Gibbs, you became distant and when you were on a case or just in the office you tried not to be in his presence. You didn’t want to become attached to a man who could toss you out once your kid turns 18, deep down you knew he wouldn’t but that didn’t stop the negative thoughts. Of course Gibbs picked up on the change, he would try to give you small gifts, bring you coffee for when you come in, offer to take Mason out so that you can have time to yourself but you turned everything down. Gibbs was at a standstill, for the first time in a very long time he thought he was sharing a connection with someone and now that someone was shutting him out, he was going to put a stop to it.

He had it all planned, he left work early to grab things for a family dinner, he picked up Mason from your mothers, and he even went as far as getting you fresh flowers. Any night that Gibbs willingly took time away from his boat meant something important was happening, and he was honestly hoping it would fix whatever changed. Even though he knew later on it would come back to bite him, he enlisted the help of Tony to keep you busy until everything was ready, but Tony can only keep you from your son for an hour at most.

By the time you reached home, you were exhausted and slightly concerned because the lights where off but the house smelt like food. “Mason? Jethro?” You calmed out while slipping your shoes off and placing your hand on your gun. Not getting a response didn’t help your fear, until Mason let out a small laugh and you heard a Gibbs sigh out, “it was supposed to be a surprise kid.” The lights came on, and there were your two boys all dressed up and standing in front of the table. “Made dinner momma.” Mason said before rushing over to you. While ruffling his hair you took a moment to look at the table, they had made your favorite, the fancy plates were placed nicely, a bottle of wine, flowers, and cookies.

“What’s the occasion boys, you make me feel underdressed.” Mason led you to the table, and held your hand while you sat down. “Well, we just thought you might like to relax and eat something other than fish fingers and nuggets.” Gibbs said before helping you son into his seat and sitting down. Dinner went smoothly, Mason talked all about his new friends and games they played, and before you knew it Mason was being tucked into bed. “We need to talk, (y/n)”

Those few words made everything crash in your mind, you knew it was going to happen but why now. You nodded before tilting your head to the room that you had been occupying, you didn’t want your son to hear what was going to happen. Taking a deep breath you sat down on your bed and patted the spot next to you. “Lately you’ve seemed to be in your own little world and i wanted to know if maybe I did something to upset you.” Gibbs spoke first while turning to look at you. It was quiet for a second while you gathered your thoughts before his hand touched yours and the dam broke.

You couldn’t remember the last time you fully let yourself cry, and now here you were finally allowing yourself to be human. Gibbs didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around you while you cried. “ I know it’s pathetic to listen to people, but maybe they’re right. Maybe this is all just too good to be true and maybe I’m just believing a lie, why do you even want me around?” You glanced up at him after your spoke, you sounded broken. There was a sigh before a hand wiped your tears. “I want you around because I like you, and I want you and our son to be close at all times. If you let me, I’d like to be in your life for however long I can be. I never want you guys to feel like I don’t care about you both because i need you both.” That was all he said before shifting on the bed, putting you into a laying position. It took a minute for it all to process, and you wanted to believe everything he said, but both of you knew it would require work and lots of communication which is clearly something you both have to work on.

“I just, I know i shouldn’t listen to your exes but sometimes I’m scared that you’re going to go off and when you come back you’re not going to want me around. You’re so good with Mas, and i don’t want him to know pain.” You’d finally gotten it off your chest and you hope he’d understand. “I’ll take care of them, and I’ll make it known that i want both you and mason in my life.” His voice was much louder from the position.

No words were said after you both spoke, just silence and maybe it’s because you didn’t know how to respond. You interlocked your fingers with his and placed your head on his chest, five years ago you would have never imagined this would have come from a drunk night with your boss. Your thoughts were still messy, and there were going to be doubts but for right now you wanted to be at peace and you wanted to be closer to the one giving you comfort.

In the morning once you get into work, you noticed everyone standing around before overhearing that Gibbs had called his exes to come over. You pushed your way to your seat and before you know it, lips were on yours. “Aw boss how come we don’t get to have PDA with (Y/N).” Tony, of course Tony would be the one to say it. Once Gibbs felt he’d made his point he pulled away and smacked the back of Tony’s head, “she’s not your girlfriend.”