#what i wouldnt give to be on a boat for a week

[outerspacedunce]

im having car problems again. it sucks because it's never ending with this car but it sucks even more because i am supposed to leave for the shore on monday. thankfully my partner's mother is lending us a little money to get a rental for the week. it was way too kind of her and we appreciate it so much because honestly i haven't been away from my home in two long years.

not that i don't love my home, i absolutely love being here but it's also my place of work. i am never not working on some fashion. i REALLY need these three days away from here, even if it's just for a change of scenery.

other than that, i spent my day off rearranging and cleaning my bathroom. i now have a functional mirror and i put up a new shelf and now i don't feel stressed out when i walk in there. this whole past week i have been tackling small cleaning projects that i have been putting off, that way i can recover at the shore and come home to a clean, decluttered house. because no one wants to walk back in to a mess straight from vacation.

my goal is to finish at least one star trek book (maybe two??) while i'm there and go kayaking and spend any extra time sleeping on the beach.

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash

Chapters 36-37

Had it been like that in the iron coffin?

Aelin gave no indication that the smothering dark bothered her, and had shown no inclination to illuminate their way. Hadn't even summoned an ember.

But the Little Folk, it seemed, had come prepared. And within heartbeats of entering the pitch-black river passage, blue light had kindled on a lantern dangling over the curved prow. Not light, not even magic. But small worms that glowed pale blue, as if they'd each swallowed the heart of a star. They'd been gathered into the lantern, and their soft light rippled over the water-smooth walls. A gentle, soothing light. At least, for her it was so.

Before Aelin had been given an ancient Faerie Queen's crown, her birthright and heritage.

The queen had stashed Mab's crown in one of their packs, as if it were no more than an extra sword belt. She hadn't spoken, and they had not asked her any questions, either.

Instead, she'd spent these past few hours sitting in the back of the boat, studying her unmarked hands, occasionally peering into the black waters beneath them. What she expected to see beyond her own rippling reflection, Elide didn’t want to know.

He'd crawled after Maeve on the beach to save Aelin. And he had found her during her escape-had ensured Aelin made it out. Did it wipe away what he'd done in summoning Maeve in the first place? Even if Maeve had set the trap, even if he hadn't known what Maeve intended for Aelin, did it erase his decision to call for her?

The last time they'd spoken as friends, it had been aboard that ship in the hours before Maeve's armada had arrived. He'd told her they needed to talk, and she'd assumed it was about their future, about them.

But perhaps he'd been about to tell her what he'd done, that he'd been wrong in acting before Aelin's plans played out. Elide stopped twisting the ring.

He'd done it for her. She knew it.

But the queen sitting silently behind them, no trace of that sharp-edged fire to be seen, nor that wicked grin she'd flashed at all who crossed her path ... Two months with a sadist. With two sadists. That had been the cost, and the burden that Aelin and all of them would bear.

That silence, that banked fire was because of him. Not entirely, but in some ways.

The collar had not been real. But the army Maeve had summoned was.

A blink into the gloom was the only indication that he was aware of her every movement. Aelin breathed in his scent, let its strength settle into her a bit deeper.

Their paths would meet again, or they would not. And if he found the final key and then brought it to her, she would pay what the gods demanded. What she owed Terrasen, the world.

Yet if Dorian chose to end it himself, to forge the Lock ... her stomach churned. He had the power. As much as she did, if not more so.

It was meant to be her sacrifice. Her blood shed to save them all. To let him claim it ... She could. She must. With Erawan no doubt unleashing himself on Terrasen, with Maeve's army likely to cause them untold grief, she could let Dorian do this. She trusted him. Even if she might never forgive herself for it. Her debt, it was supposed to have been her debt to pay.

Perhaps the punishment for failing to do so would be having to live with herself.

Having to live with all that had been done to her these months, too.

The blackness of the subterranean river pressed in, wrapped its arms around her and squeezed.

Different from the blackness of the iron box. The darkness she'd found inside herself.

A place she might never escape, not really.

Her power stirred, awakening. Aelin swallowed, refusing to acknowledge it. Heed it.

She wouldn't. Couldn't. Not yet. Until she was ready.

She had seen Rowan's face when she spoke of what his deception with the collar had prompted her to do. Had noted the way her companions looked at her, pity and fear in their eyes. At what had been done to her, what she'd become.

A new body. A foreign, strange body, as if she'd been ripped from one and shoved into another. Different from moving between her forms, somehow. She hadn't tried shifting into her human body yet. Didn't see the point.

Sitting in silence as the boat was pulled through the gloom, she felt the weight of those stares. Their dread. Felt them wondering just how broken she was.

You do not yield.

She knew that had been true—that it had been her mother's voice who had spoken and none other.

So she would not yield to this. What had been done. What remained. For the companions around her, to lift their despair, their fear, she wouldn't yield.

She'd fight for it, claw her way back to it, who she'd been before. Remember to swagger and grin and wink. She'd fight against that lingering stain on her soul, fight to ignore it. Would use this journey into the dark to piece herself back together-just enough to make it convincing.

Even if this fractured darkness now dwelled within her, even if speech was difficult, she would show them what they wished to see.

An unbroken Fire-Bringer. Aelin of the Wildfire.

She would show the world that lie as well. Make them believe it.

Maybe she'd one day believe it, too.

Days of near-silent travel passed.

Three days, if whatever senses Rowan and Gavriel possessed proved true. Perhaps the latter carried a pocket watch. Aelin didn't particularly care.

She used each of those days to consider what had been done, what lay before her.

Sometimes, the roar of her magic drowned out her thoughts. Sometimes it slumbered. She never heeded it.

They sailed through the darkness, the river below so black that they might as well have been drifting through Hellas's realm.

She hadn't asked him why he remained in his wolf's body. No one asked her why she remained in her Fae form, after all.

Rowan straightened, eyes sparking at her question-or at the fact that she'd spoken at all.

He'd kept by her these days, a silent, steady presence. Even when they'd slept, he'd remained a few feet away, still not touching, but just there. Close enough that the pine-and-snow scent of him eased her into slumber.

Silence at the order, even from Rowan. Aelin pointed to the lip of shore by the cave mouth. "Stop the boat," she repeated.

The queen had been reckless before Cairn and Maeve had worked on her for two months, but it seemed she'd had any bit of common sense flayed from her.

"Well, I don’t have any, so forgive me if I remain alert." No, she'd once told him that while magic flowed in the Lochan bloodline, she had none to speak of. He'd never told her that he'd always considered her cleverness to be a mighty magic on its own, regardless of Anneith's whisperings.

"It will take time for her to readjust."

She stared at him with those damning eyes.

He braced his forearms on his knees. "We got her back. She's with us now. What more do you want?" From me, He didn't need to add Elide straightened.

Elide straightened. "I don't want anything." From you.

This was where they'd have it out, then. "How much longer am I supposed to atone?"

"Are you growing bored with it?" He snarled.

She only glared at him. "I hadn't realized you were even atoning."

"I came here, didn't I?"

"For whom, exactly? Rowan? Aelin?"

"For both of them. And for you." There. Let it be laid before them.

"I told you on that beach: I want nothing to do with you."

"So one mistake and I am your eternal enemy?"

"She is my queen, and you summoned Maeve, then told her where the keys were, and you stood there while they did that to her."

"You have no idea what the blood oath can do. None."

"Fenrys broke the oath. He found a way."

"And had Aelin not been there to offer him another, he would have died." He let out a low, joyless laugh. "Perhaps that's what you would have preferred."

She ignored his last comment. "You didn't even try."

"I did," he snarled. "I fought it with everything I had. And it was not enough. If she'd ordered me to slit your throat, I would have. And if I had found a way to break the oath, I would have died, and she might very well have killed you or taken you afterward. On that beach, my only thought was to get Maeve to forget about you, to let you go-"

"I don't care about me! I didn't care about me on that beach!"

"Well, I do."

This was what came of opening that door to a place inside him that no one had ever breached. This mess, this hollowness in his chest that made him keep needing to make things right.

"Resent me all you like," he said, damning the hoarseness of his words. "I'm sure I'll survive."

Hurt flashed in her eyes. "Fine," she said, her voice brittle.

He hated that brittleness more than anything he'd ever encountered. Hated himself for causing it. But he had limits to how low he'd crawl.

He'd said his piece. If she wanted to wash her hands of him forever, then he would find a way to respect that. Live with it.

Somehow.

Gratitude shone in her eyes.

Rowan only gave her a nod. Don't worry about it.

Yet Aelin turned away, shutting off that silent conversation as she surveyed the space.

Time. It would take time for her to heal.

Even if he knew his Fireheart would pretend otherwise.

So, Rowan looked, too. Across the tomb, beyond the sarcophagus and treasure, an archway opened into another chamber. Perhaps another tomb, or an exit passage.

"We don't have time to find a way out,"

Rowan murmured as she strode into the tomb.

"And the caves remain safer than the surface."

"I'm not looking for a way out," she said in that calm, unmoved voice. She stooped, swiping up a fistful of gold coins stamped with forgotten king's face. "We're going to need to fund our travels. And the gods know what else." Rowan arched a brow. Aelin shrugged and shoved the gold into the pocket of her cloak. "Unless the pitiful clinking I heard from your coin purse didn't indicate you were low on funds."

That spark of wry humor, the taunting … She was trying. For his sake, or the others' maybe her own, she was trying.

Rowan gave the Lion a slashing grin. "You heard the lady."

A flash ruptured from where Fenrys had been sniffing at a trunk of jewels, and then a male was standing there. His gray clothes worn, but intactin better shape than the hollowed-out look in his eyes.

Aelin paused her looting.

Fenrys's throat bobbed, as if trying to remember speech. Then he said hoarsely, "We needed more pockets." He patted his own for emphasis.

Aelin's lips curved in a hint of a smile. She blinked at Fenrys—three times.

Fenrys blinked once in answer.

A code. They'd made up some silent code to communicate when he'd been ordered to remain in his wolf form.

Aelin's smile remained, just barely, as she walked to the golden-haired male, his bronze skin ashen. She opened her arms in silent offer.

To let him decide if he wished for contact. If he could endure it.

Just as Rowan would let her decide if she wished to touch him.

A small sigh broke from Fenrys before he folded Aelin into his arms, a shudder rippling through him. Rowan couldn't see her face, perhaps didn't need to, as her hands gripped Fenrys's jacket, so tightly they were white-knuckled.

A good sign—a small miracle, that either of them wished, could be touched. Rowan reminded himself of it, even while some intrinsic, male part of him tensed at the contact.

A territorial Fae bastard, she'd once called him. He'd do his best not to live up to that title.

"Thank you," Aelin said, her voice small in a way that made Rowan's chest crack further.

Fenrys didn't answer, but from the anguish on his face, Rowan knew no thanks were in order.

They pulled away, and Fenrys cupped her cheek. "When you are ready, we can talk."

About what they'd endured. To unravel all that had happened.

Aelin nodded, blowing out a breath. "Likewise."

She resumed shoving gold into her pockets, but glanced back to Fenrys, his face drawn. "I gave you the blood oath to save your life," she said. "But if you do not want it, Fenrys, I ... we can find some way to free you—"

"I want it," Fenrys said, no trace of his usual swaggering humor. He glanced to Rowan, and bowed his head. "It is my honor to serve this court. And serve you," he added to Aelin.

She waved a hand in dismissal, though Rowan didn't fail to note the sheen in her eyes as she stooped to gather more gold. Giving her a moment, he strode to Fenrys and clasped his shoulder. "It's good to have you back." He added, stumbling a bit on the word, "Brother." For that's what they would be. Had never been before, but what Fenrys had done for Aelin .. Yes, brother was what Rowan would call him. Even if Fenrys's own—

Fenrys's dark eyes flickered. "She killed Connall. Made him stab himself in the heart." A pearl-and-ruby necklace scattered from Gavriel's fingers.

The temperature in the tomb spiked, but there was no flash of flame, no swirl of embers.

As if Aelin's magic had surged, only to be leashed again.

Yet Aelin continued shoving gold and jewels into her pockets.

She'd witnessed it, too. That slaughter.

But it was Gavriel, approaching on silent feet even with the jewels and gold on the floor, who clasped Fenrys's other shoulder. "We will make sure that debt is paid before the end." The Lion had never uttered such words not toward their former queen. But fury burned in Gavriel's tawny gaze. Sorrow and fury.

Fenrys took a steadying breath and stepped away, the loss on his face mingling with something Rowan couldn't place. But now wasn't the time to ask, to pry.

Aelin continued picking her way amongst the treasure, however. She'd been more selective than the rest of them, examining pieces with what Rowan had assumed was a jeweler's eye. The gods knew she'd owned enough finery to tell what would fetch the highest price at market.

"We should go," he said. His own pockets were near to bursting, his every step weighed down.

She rose from a rusted metal chest she'd been riffling through.

Rowan remained still as she approached, something clenched in her palm. It was only when she stopped close enough for him to touch her that she unfurled her fingers.

Two golden rings lay there.

"I don't know the Fae customs," she said.

The thicker ring held an elegantly cut ruby within the band itself, while the smaller one bore a sparkling rectangular emerald mounted atop, the stone as large as her fingernail. "But when humans wed, rings are exchanged." Her fingers trembled-just slightly. Too many unspoken words lay between them. Yet now was not the time for that conversation, for that healing.

Not when they had to be on their way as swiftly as possible, and this offer she'd made him, this proof that she still wanted what lay between them, the vows they'd sworn ...

"I assume the sparkly emerald is for me," Rowan said with a half smile.

She huffed a laugh. The soft, whispered sound was as precious as the rings she'd found for them in this hoard. She took his hand, and he tried not to shudder in relief, tried not to fall to his knees as she slid the ruby ring onto his finger. It fit him perfectly, the ring no doubt forged for the king lying in this barrow.

Silently, Rowan grasped her own hand and eased on the emerald ring. "To whatever end," he whispered.

Silver lined her eyes. "To whatever end." A reminder-and a vow, more sacred than the wedding oaths they'd sworn on that ship.

To walk this path together, back from the darkness of the iron coffin. To face what waited in Terrasen, ancient promises to the gods be damned.

He ran his thumb over the back of her hand.

"I'll make the tattoo again." She swallowed, but nodded. "And," he added, "I'd like to add another. To me—and to you."

Her brows flicked up, but he squeezed her hand. You'll have to wait and see, Princess.

Another hint of a smile. She didn't balk from the silent words this time. Typical.

He opened his mouth to voice the question he'd been dying to ask for days now. May I kiss you? But she pulled her hand from his.

Admiring the wedding band sparkling on her finger, her mouth tightened as she turned over her palm. "I'll need to retrain."

Not a single callus marked her hands.

Aelin frowned at her too-thin body. "And pack on some muscle again." A slight quiver graced her words, but she curled her hands into fists at her sides and smirked at her clothes—the Mistward clothes. "It'll be just like old times."

Trying. She was dredging up that swagger and trying. So he would, too. Until she didn't need to any more.

Rowan gave her a crooked grin. "Just like old times," he said, following her out of the barrow and back toward the ebony river, "but with far less sleep."

He could have sworn the passageway heated. But Aelin kept going.

Later. That conversation, this unfinished business between them, would come later.

[huh-1260]

I'm looking at Train Crash AU and thinking.

Man what if I injured Wars more for more bandages because I pretty sure I didn't give him enough for his severed arm

So what about an angsty reunion with an Adult Wind with Wars?

:)

The few whumps I have aren't angsty enough for my soul

so imagine you grow up after going away from your found family across time and you don't get to meet your brother again, but a younger version of him that doesn't know who you are and you get to watch him fall apart and you don't get to see how he became the big brother you knew him as. Also your father figure is now a brat. This is how Wind feels, because the moment he saw the portal that the shadow used seven years later. He's was excited to see his brothers again, to see Wars again. But no, it seems that fate fucking hates him, because while his other brothers come out perfectly well, with some differences in time passing for others; Legend: two years, Twilight: nine years, Time a month, Four: 5 years, Sky: 1 year, Wild: 6 months post TOTK, Hyrule: 5 years. Wars doesn't come through the portal at all. So while everyone accidentally calls him the captain (he never really saw how the others said he looked like the captain, plus he's in a different timeline he can't be related to him) and so during Sky's wedding, just right before Sky and Sun are about to kiss, a portal opens from the ceiling, and someone falls through on the ground, splattering onto the floor:

_____________

There's blood everywhere, people are screaming, and with the crowd of people running out on the building. Theres something else that came out of the portal as the person. A fading blue blob thing that screams in gibberish looking at the person and Sun. Sky doesn't have his sword on him. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck- this is what he gets for standing in the back waiting for- Oh fuck that either way he could have came! The person that landed on the floor, is dragging their legs to the blob, with their only other arm that's there and stabs it. The thing screams as it fades to ash. The person drops to the floor, but Twilight catches him before he could hit the ground (again). He doesn't get to hear the mysterious person but he could recognize that voice from anywhere, no matter how weak or scratchy it would be.

"Sorry everyone."

That was Wars, as Hyrule was rushing over to heal him.

_________

Okay that ain't angst enough for me so for a more proper "reunion", like a few weeks, no one let's Wind see Wars because they still treat him like the child he was even though he's as old as the others during the adventure across time! So he tries to sneak into Wars temporary room, while Wars tries to escape his room because he's gone stir crazy and yes Time he's fine! Just because he's gone through another war and lost a few important parts doesn't mean he needs coding! He has to make sure everyone is safe! So they bump into each other for the first time since they really last saw each other. (But that doesn't explain why Wind is crying- SHUT UP AND LET ME COOK) So they chat for a bit, like in a joking manner and Wars slips out that "Hey, another war happen and there was still some people across still stuck there." And Wind is mad that Wars just drops this kind of bomb, because why didn't he let the others come help him. So they end up arguing a bit and:

_________

"Why do you keep ignoring that we could have helped! I could have helped!" He yelled.

"If I dragged you there YOU could have died and Artemis wouldnt exist. I WOULDN'T EXSIST!" Wars yelled back.

__________

Now you see the angst?

So oof on both sides, Wars is internal bashing himself on the head, Wind is panicking because he becomes a dad, he's actually related to Wars- OH MY FUCKING SEA BOAT I MARRY TETRA?! And meanwhile Time is standing in the corner with surprise Pikachu face because oh shit Wars is from the timeline he technically abandoned. And like the fucking legend he came back when they needed him most

So that's uh what I have for now again.

[blkkizzat]

I couldn’t finish big foot 😭 it felt kind of forced to me. Like I think she’s very upset by Hiss and the whole business with her husband and that came through more than her talent with rapping imo. and maybe I’m just not a real connoisseur of rap, but I think Nicki really shines on her features and that (in my opinion) doesn’t translate to her albums and singles lately :/

Big foot a freestyle its not supposed to be a produced song.

Some people just like mainstream rap you hear in clubs and thats fine too if thats you, nothing wrong with liking what you like. Nicki album PF2 more in line what you would hear from J.Cole, Wale, Saint Jhn, JID, etc. and its more elevated than drill which what has been dominating mainstream rap last 2 years. I like do sexy redd for example but mainstream rap went crazy over skee yee and that sounded like nails on a chalkboard to me LOL. I can't listen to that shit lol.

When Nicki said 'these bitches gotta shake they ass to show sex appeal' on Fallin 4 U, she hit nearly every other rap girl out there but Doja. Female rap gotta have more substance than pussy popping and Megan been trending more for shaking ass than music for years.

Nicki makes those songs too but it gets old and these girls gotta give us more. Cardi spent 2 million on Bongos music video, gorgeous beautiful visuals, for it to flop which is insane. PF2 had no music videos and got 230K album equivalent units in less than a week. Megan's Truamazine only did 63K and she paid $250k to Future in cash of her own money (label wouldnt pay him) for him to play in her face and give her the worse verse he's ever done. People say they don't identify with Nicki, but they buy and stream her music, so I don't believe it isn't translating. If anything people sympathize and like Megan personality (and her twerking ofc) but they don't buy and stream her music so I'd say the opposite based on the numbers. It's crazy there can be hundreds of thousands of likes on a Megan tweet and her album can't crack 100k first week. Madness.

Nicki and Meg drama goes back to HGS when Megan joked with Nicki about getting an abortion so Nicki could drink with her. Proof of that is on the live where Meg was trying to get Nicki to "drive the boat" and Nicki said "now you know we not doing that" and Meg was like "you know what I said you should do to take care of that". They been throwing sub shots in music ever since.

IDK, I don't have kids but I would ded a bitch if they said some crazy shit like that to me knowing I wanted to keep my baby.

Regarding Nicki husband, see this. What she saying happened in court is actually in the original court documents too so :/

[officialtayley]

i think social media has become a bit of a blessing and a curse when it comes to these things, without it we wouldn't be able to use our own voices to share resources and stand up for the innocent civilians who are at the heart of this horrible tragedy, and we wouldnt have been able to see nearly half the horrifying shit that is happening in gaza without social media but on the other hand it also inevitably gives voice to those with very contrasting opinions and stances on this, whereas before social media nobody would've been able to share their thoughts on things aside from with the people directly in their real life circles. it's frustrating because a lot of people have the right idea with this, it makes complete sense to want somebody with a large social media following who is known for advocating for the victim in the past (yes, not necessarily ALL conflicts everywhere all the time but this is unique in the sense that it may just be the most horrific we have seen in our lifetimes and one where uniquely, there's not a lot financially we can do to help) to at least point their audience in the direction of ways they may be able to help. one of the biggest things is people feeling useless/helpless at the moment and rallying together to make some noise to people in power is what paramore have done countless times in the past so how is it any different now? just because it isn't geographically a 'local' issue to them the US is still a key, if not the most powerful, figure at the centre of this and with an election coming up it would make sense to be encouraging people to think about what they want.

and even just beyond the fact that they're public figures, at the end of the day they are people just like us. so asking 'what are they gonna do about it?' is dumb and unproductive because what are we, as regular people, doing about it? we're doing whatever we can, because that's all we can do! it's not some abhorrent or overtly demanding thing to ask them, even on just a human level, to participate in the conversation when hayley herself has made it clear countless times that she doesn't care how 'loud' her opinions are she will make them heard. for example, she was so prompt to condemn desantis throughout the summer tour and faced a lot of backlash for that, and yet desantis has come out with a statement wholeheartedly backing US funded arms being sent to the military in israel and now there's nothing to say to him? i love hayley and the guys, i love everything that they've done for their fanbase to make all kinds of people feel welcome but it does feel disheartening. i'm not as disappointed in the band as i am in their fanbase though, this week and the way they've responded to the people who spoke up about how they could be doing more has really shown the ugly side that still persists and probably will forever exist unfortunately

sorry this is so long and sorry to rehash the same points that others have been making a hundred times over, it's just been circling my brain the last few days and not sitting right with me at all. hope you're all good and not getting overwhelmed by the stupidity in your ask box ash ❤️

i agree with everything you have said. you worded it better than i could.

and i'm in the same boat, the fans reaction is far more disappointing because it shows how they truly feel too. it shouldn't have been surprising tbh, i feel like you've never actually been able to criticise the band, hell even over shit as trivial as song opinions people will get extremely defensive and say you see the band as the hayley show, so this reaction has always existed within the fanbase but it's just usually over small and stupid things, so seeing it over something so big and serious, fans trying to throw idle worship in others faces, fans wanting to spew the same thing others did when hayley spoke out against desantis for example, genuinely disappointing.

i'm okay though. i just struggle to word things honestly, so i'm not overwhelmed, just frustrated. but like i said, i won't answer anything about it after today, at least anything that focuses on paramore not speaking up as that shouldn't be the focus.

[mestruazioni]

i dont give a shit about acting high and mighty, im not competing with other people. i wasnt starting one of those guilt trips that go around like "if you dont talk/share info about this tragedy you're a piece of shit". im not gonna guilt trip people who, like me, can do fuck all to save 600 people dying at sea and who couldnt have done anything to save the other 25k+ who died in the past decade either. that wasnt the point in the slightest.

i know its been talked about, but its still not as talked about as the oceangate incident. dont know about the media in your country, but here? nah. we're mainly talking about the oceangate and berlusconi still. sure, they talked about the dead people. they talked about the dead kids. they showed the people in greece protesting, i saw protests here in italy as well - not that that got much coverage. the news is going around, sure. not nearly as much as the oceangate, though.

but that's not the point either.

what im mad about is that this tragedy, like so many others before it, could have been so easily prevented by those who COULD have done something. but they didnt, and now those 600 people, among which a hundred kids, are dead.

meanwhile, in the middle of the fucking atlantic ocean, they're not looking for a boat with 700 people on board but for a little tiny fucking submarine with 5 people in it. not people who were trying to reach another country in hope for a better life, but who were just trying to see something they thought was cool.

and besides every fucking news outlet's main talk being this thing, SO MANY resources are being used to locate it - even if everyone basically agrees that, even if they do find them, it will be practically impossible to save them. unless the submarine is floating, i guess, which they theorized a few days ago. safe to say now that it probably isn't.

what im saying is, god fucking damnit, how can we not be fucking angry and livid to see that we DO have the resources and ways and means to help people, but we tend to use those assets only under certain conditions? why do people now think (rightly so) that the life of these 5 people matter but we didn't think the same thing a week ago, when the people who could have helped them SAW this boat in obvious need of help, but decided to let it go its way and didnt stop it?

why didnt they do more when they could have done more? that's driving me insane and making me incredibly angry. because the only difference between 5 lives and 700 lives right now is that those 5 lives are rich. known. apparently important.

and the ones who lie on the bed of the mediterranean clearly weren't.

so i dont give a shit about memes and being mighty and shit like that. why would i be mad at fucking tumblr users, at fucking normal people. im fucking mad at those who didnt do shit and will continue to do nothing next time something like this inevitably happens.

and if by some miracle they manage to save those poor five people trapped in a metal tomb, i hope they use whatever they learned to help other less fortunate, less rich, less known people in the future. but we all know that those people most likele won't be saved in time, unfortunately. and we all know that even if they were, they wouldnt use those assets to save migrants. and how am i supposed to not be angry.

anyway cool how everyone is fucking running to figure out how to save 5 idiots who trapped themselves in a metal tomb for 250k each but no one could spare a fucking thought for the 600 people who died in the mediterranean a week ago

[indigo474]

jun 24th

i need to write more often- so much happens in a day, let alone a week. I'm still talking to my friend. so, lets see- i went to the orchestra - it was beautiful-%100 % would do again and again. Marci- oh Marci... i try to not be so fucking weird- she has been solid but there have been little inconsistencies in some of her stories that make me feel.. uncomfortable . nothing huge but dam if my brain doesnt fixate on those little things. I mentioned i was talking to my friend and she lost her shit- lost it.. raised her voice- Mexican, Mexican, Mexican... she is the most liberal person i have ever spent any amount of time with and wow- i was surprised. She caught herself mid scream and said forget that he's Mexican- blah blah blah... this from someone who has been dating a man for 3 months and knows with 100% certainty he is her forever person. i guess it's possible but 3 months is a short time to make such declarations. one of the supervisors is a narcissist- i am sure of it. the same one who accused me of lying when i said she said something and she claims she never said it. 2 weeks ago she was saying her and i needed to hang out over the weekend. she made a comment like I didnt have any friends so i might as well hang with her- she was putting me down- i just smiled and didnt say anything- she kept on me too- what are you doing this weekend- i know you dont have any friends.. this week she started saying things about me not working- she also told one of my reps to watch out for me because i talk shit- my rep told me she needed to have a meeting with me and she let me know- im not surprised and i believe it- this is the 3rd person, that i know of that she has said this to. All the while she comes to my desk and we play nice with each other. Ive complained about her 2x to management for 2 different things and nothing-i'm not going to defend myself i dont give a fuck what she tells people and i dont give a fuck what they believe. i started a new supplement in the hopes it will help with my depression. my friend at work who needed xanax to feel better is already abusing them.. i think it's been about 2 weeks. she told me she's taking them like candy. she looks like crap and sounds like crap and i'm guessing the xanax hasnt solved all her problems like she thought for sure they would. the guy who told me to watch my mouth blocked me because i wouldnt let him come to my house and fuck me. he sent me the nastiest dick pics i have ever seen- just.. gross. another guy 2 boats, 2 houses..boring-i'm learning to read spanish so thats a plus.

[fiendishpal]

Please info dump about this Au and any other Au. I am craving content.

THIS IS A WHOLE WALL ASS OF TEXT OSAK ROYALTY AU GO! the world has a fantasy setting on the verge of industrialization so maybe about the late 1700s. but the idea of kingdoms is still prevalent. and obviously we're not following the world map here so i'm thinking each kingdom is a part of their own country and not all of them are in Japan. so travel takes weeks or days by boat or land travel from one kingdom to another. also, i dont want to heavily research on social etiquette in different parts of the world in the 1700s so im just making shit up as i go along on that department. but as far as transportation and communications go, they do have locomotives, railways, steam boats amongst other things. they wouldnt rely heavily on horseback anymore given these options. basically what i'm saying is that they aren't stuck in the dark ages. so anyway, why set on the verge of industrialization? well. what i have envisioned is that magic is slowly vanishing and the previous way of life where people heavily rely on magic isn't really gonna fly in the long run so people are finding ways on how to improve and maintain their way of life sans magic users.

with that said, magic users now are treated as gems and unearthed gold. So all magic-users are immediately registered and are under watch by the kingdom. in case some of them might go rogue or turn against the kingdom. So if you're a magic user, pretty much you and your family is well-known among the kingdom. Members of the royal family don't necessarily have the line of magic in their blood so it rarely happens. but when it does, it plays a huge part on social status amongst other kingdoms. BUT THAT'S NOT THE FOCUS OF OUR STORY! i said all that just so you'd all know what goes in the background while you think about this au hhahaha so you're probably thinking, why did fukurodani give up akaashi keiji ??? whisked away to inarizaki the answer might underwhelm you after all the ranting i just did with 'world building' but you know what? you asked for it hahaha there was a petty fight that happened between the royalty of fukurodani and inarizaki a generation ago so trade and passage between the two routes stopped completely. and years after, this substantially hurt both kingdoms economically. More fukurodani than inarizaki. but ofc, both kingdoms refusing to get off of their high horses wanted to make patching up as extravagant as they could. Inarizaki, wanting to take advantage of the situation, married off their prince, lording over their superiority over fukurodani. and fukurodani, not wanting to back down and wanting to tip the dynamics of power in their favor, promised inarizaki a magic user. a noble to boot. Inarizaki didn't hope for a magic user but they agreed anyway, thinking the union would be more in their favor bc a prince is a bigger bargaining chip than a duke's son. but when word came to inarizaki that osamu's betrothed showed signs of magic they knew the advantage was gone and both of the kingdoms are now on equal footing. so trade resumes, and after the wedding, the alliance between fukurodani and inarizaki solidified and relations between the two kingdoms became more than about trade, but the sharing of cultures, resources and most of all, peace.

BUT AGAIN, THIS IS NOT THE FOCUS OF THIS STORY!!! i just want this all out of the way so you’ll know the trepidation both osamu and akaashi had to wait until the moment comes that they resign themselves to a new life neither of them had the control to shift or change the course of. akaashi knew at 14 that he’d be taken away from his family but he also knew that if he stayed in inarizaki, fukurodani will become stronger and more prosperous for it so he goes and gets married off. he does what he is told to do but his heart aches still. and also that it’s akaashi that has gotten the shorter end of the stick??? he feels like a prisoner but not quite. bc one wrong move from fukurodani then inarizaki can basically take him as hostage and one wrong move from him then inarizaki can compromise trade with fukurodani

the same applies with osamu. if word comes to fukurodani that they aren’t treating akaashi properly, fukurodani can compromise trade with inarizaki.

[pompadourpink]

Hi mum! This is probably gonna sound so stupid but i need your advice on a topic. I know that its silly but it has been bothering my mind a lot lately. So im 17, nearly 18 and never had a boyfriend. And since im a senior now in high school, this year is important to me to achieve things academically. But in my class there is a boy, and i am in the same class with him for the first time so i dont know him very well. He is very smart, and you know those silent but witty and funny types? He's that. And for the first time in my life im feeling some tension when im around him, and it will probably sound so stupid but i know that he feels it too. There is just something really strong. And we havent even talked a word yet. God i know this sounds ridiculous i wanna punch myself. But he's always on my mind. I dont know what to do. Even if he asked me out (which would never happen ) i wouldnt go out with him because its a busy year for me and he is popular for his short term relationships with popular and pretty girls so im probably not his type anyway. I cant even wish that he likes me because he would break my heart. But i cant get him out of my mind. Please show me a way out. And at the same time i feel so shitty for never having a relationship. I know nothing about this stuff and i am a walking disaster so no boy will probably ask me out. It would be good if someone showed interest in me. What do you think i should do about that? Thank you for reading this i know its stupid but you give the greatest advice and i wanted to hear your take on it.

Aah also one of my friends has a crush on him. So imagine how shitty is my situation 😬

Hello darling,

A few things: 1/ no, you are not a walking disaster, you're trying to figure it out, which even people in their 80s continue working on every day; 2/ no, you are not lame for having no past relationships, you're very young, not 46 years old.

I'll be very candid as usual, especially today because I've been in a similar boat.

You don't have a *crush* on the guy: you don't know him, you're just fixating on the idea of him because you have no experience, are craving love, and your brain has been filling up the gaps and making him into your idea of a great guy. It's like reading a One direction fanfiction written by a 14-year-old virgin "so I bump into Harry and he looks at me, smiles, and invites me for coffee at his house" - no he wouldn't Chloe, you just wish he would. I suggest you try befriending the guy and figure out who he actually is. Chances are he's going to be different than what you pictured and you'll stop being infatuated.

I wouldn't worry about your friend - even if they start dating, she is probably going to get dumped after a few weeks when something better comes along since that is what he's been doing, so I don't think you will be missing much.

When I (late 20s) meet a guy, we're in for a three-week-long interview so I can see what he's like, what he stands for, etc. before anything happens. That requires knowing that I want and don't want him to be like, and I do know because I've met plenty of guys, had good and bad experiences, and therefore know what to look for. If he's rude to a waiter, calls himself brutally honest, or makes sexual suggestions because he's impatient, he's out. Now you have to do that work: talk to anyone you can to experience all that humanity can offer. Once you discover your green and red flags, have them be your most faithful weapons.

Don't look for "the one", it's a movie thing, and your definition will change over time anyway. You don't have to look for a husband, but don't willingly get into relationships you'll have to heal from: no guy who makes fun of you, can't laugh at himself, tells you what to do, refuses to apologize. My partner recently gave himself a black eye while working out and I've been crying laughing for a week, and he's laughing with me, because he likes seeing me happy. Go for someone who makes you feel 100% safe and comfortable, even for three months.

I believe (and Reddit proves me right weekly) that many women live unhappy lives because society tells them that they are not complete if they're single, so they force themselves into a relationship with a guy who doesn't even really like them, but is satisfied by a life where he gets a free housekeeper, cook, sex worker, and always has the last word because she won't leave him, which allows him to pretend he's incompetent to make her take care of more chores, flirt, be mean, etc. And he might end up marrying her and having kids because he realises that those are her conditions for staying with him, and he doesn't want to lose the chances of living like a bachelor and being served for the rest of his life. But he will remain a guilt-free bum, because he never had any intention to change, while she's on social media wondering why he isn't interested in their third baby. When you are craving love, you risk getting into one of those. Know your worth. There are plenty of great men.

There are definitely people who are interested in you. I was single for all of high school and convinced that no one was even looking at me, and I was jolted awake from a deep sleep, about two years ago, by the realisation that I had actually been actively pursued by at least two very sweet and attractive boys who could have made me happy, and my own lack of confidence sabotaged me. Give yourself more credit. You are clearly smart and sweet and trying to do good and I'm very proud. Look around and find them.

Now, a few general tips, since I'm getting emo vibes from you (same tbh):

Appearance, especially for women, is important, whether you want it or not, and will be tied up to your reputation; at the very least, act pleasant, wear clothes your size (no potato bags), go for simple cuts, and have clean hair and nails. Get ready as if you were going to bump into a professor, recruiter, supervisor, etc. Leaving a great impression often pays off later.

Being shy and awkward will not serve you. If during a job interview you make a "haha I'm so dumb" joke, you will look like a moron and not be called back, because even if you're smart, that type of comment screams insecurity, unreliability, maybe mental illness, and no recruiter wants that. But toxic people do and will use it to destroy you. Stand straight, make eye contact, and speak neutrally about yourself if you can't think of compliments.

The world is smaller than you think and you'll most likely see people again: if someone annoys you, unless it is genuinely a question of ethics, let it go. Because if you act on it, someone will be listening, and it will eventually come back to bite you in the donkey. You can't get a second first impression, and you can't nail a first impression if people have been talking shit about you.

Feel free to DM me to chat some more!

Love,

Mum

[itsdappleagain]

ok since you want here is a summaryyy

so basically paper star has a giant crush on black sheep while they're at VILE, mostly because there are all these ginormous rumors flying around about her. that this is her second year, sure, but that she stole a helicopter and sabatoged all of her classmates' first heist in a jealous rage? seems unlikely, especially since the only time anyone hears her speak is when she's chewing out someone for being bigoted or a bully

so like everyone either hates her or has a silent fearful worship or is just flat out scared, but paper star wants to study her like a bug, and also to maybe press her against a wall

so anyway paper star just kind of stalks her all year a little bit and she's trying to piece together what she knows and finally she goes oh. black sheep wants to escape the island. and since shes a smart silly who has been watching black sheep for half a year she guesses most of her plan and while bs is moodily staring at the ocean one day she sits down beside her and goes hey this is your plan right? i want in please, no is not an answer

and black sheep is like what the fuck ive talked to you like three times. why would you even want to come we would both be enemies of the state and you wouldnt finish your education here

and paper star is like i can learn from you, you know everything, also i dont care and you seem more fun than this place, and also also i know all i need to with the origami throwing stars anyway. so

they end up working together in the end, not that paper star gives her much choice but to be honest bs is happy to have someone to help her and to sharr the burden of the secret and in the remaining weeks before december 1st they become genuine friends

bs does however make her promise that when they do escape they will not keep vile's methods and they will never kill anyone. paper stars like alright whatever sure as long as i get to steal shit

on the day of the escape which i havent entirely worked out they steal the boat and the hard drive without much of a hitch at all, with paper star ablr to run distractions to prevent lockdown from happenning and then they scamper into the night

however

when black sheep was stealing the hard drive she learned that the phone she'd been using to contact player had been destroyed and she makes it her mission to find him, not only to decode the hard drive but also to reconnect with her best friend

paper star acknowledges they need a hacker for the hard drive but shes a little jealous and suspicious of this "player" kid

cue road trip on the way to ontario where paper star is like bro you have no sense of style lets get you some real clothes bbgirl and black sheep is also like hey i hate my name and paper star is like i agree how about cardinal which is not something i have thought about in reference to you for hours no sirree bob. and black sheep being really easily influenced is like yes sick this is my entire personality now

so they get to ontario and i could go into detail but i havent worked it out yet. but they find player eventually and it creates some tension. they miss the boston caper because of the delay in getting the drive so im so sorry but no zack and ivy in this one maybe they'll get roped in later or smth

um but paper star and cardinal become a mildly unhinged and homoerotic crime fighting duo where they just blaze through vile capers and decimate the competition so eventually vile is like WHAT thr FUCK we're getting KILLED OUT HERE

btw during this paper star keeps getting more violent than cardinal likes but she lets it slide because it gets the job done with ruthless efficiency

i think im going to have vile send a or a group of operatives whose goal it is to but an end to them and cardinal gets in a really bad spot and paper star panics ans kills the guy whose attacking her

paper star is like i saved your life! and cardinal is like you promised me no matter what you would not kill anyone. what the fuck. you arent the person i thought i was having a more than friends situationship with augh augh augh damage

i didnt get it across super well but it would hopefully be friends to lovers at the same time as friends to enemies. revolutionary i know

not entirely sure from there if they make up or become rogue vigilantes... maybe paper star goes back to vile in the Ultimate Betrayal and they get a tragic and bitter homoerotic exes dynamic. wow also revolutionary

but anyways thats the rundown of what has been spinning in my brain a lot

@tiredguyswag

day 5: AU!!

i decided to draw my own take on the "paper star and carmen escape VILE together" au that has been floating around in my head for months and has a near incoherent three thousand word brainstorming doc to prove it

i also tried to redesign carmen, who i've decided calls herself cardinal in this au because there is no cookie booker escape with the coat and hat (paper star also influences the name).

i took inspo from harajuku fashion which i think is what PS is designed on also? i figured that since carmen sandiego adopted the first article of clothing she ever put on as her trademark that cardinal would just copy paper stars style and i think thats fun

so anyway. they're messy, they're gay, and they definitely have a big dramatic betrayal where they realize that there was never a future in which they could be together or something like that

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[brelione]

The Countertop (Topper,Rafe,Kelce X Reader)

The Best Boys Masterlist

When Rafe got the text he was in the bathroom of the yacht,blood coming from his nose as he stuffed the small bag of white powder back into the pocket of his khakis.He heard the ding,looking over to check the notification.He felt his heart drop,regretting the line he just did. 

“Panic attack,(Y/N)’s house.”Was all the text said.Topper had sent it to the group chat with him,Kelce and Rafe.Rafe cursed,looking up in the mirror at his bloodshot,dilated eyes.He certainly couldnt help you,not when he was like this.He pinched his nose for a moment or two,letting it drip into the sink before he rinsed it down the drain,leaving the bathroom and putting his phone in his pocket.

He looked around at the groups of people,eventually finding Wheezie and gripping her shoulders. “I need you to cover for me.”He told her,completely serious.She frowned,looking over at Ward. “Where are you going?”She asked.He sighed,looking over the side of the huge boat to look at the Jet Ski that was tied by a thin rope. “(Y/N) needs help.”Was all he said,quickly thanking her before running down the flights of stairs to get to the lowest floor,gripping onto the railing and getting onto the jetski.

He tucked his phone into the pocket of his shirt,ripping the rope before gliding through the water as fast as possible,guessing on how to get to your house.He knew how to get to his house,at least.So thats where he ended up.He got onto his own dock,sprinting around the front of his house and getting into his truck,going way too far over the speed limit.

He pulled into your driveway,slamming on the brakes so he wouldnt crash into your garage.His door was opened before the truck was even parked,seeing Kelce’s car parked on the sidewalk.Rafe burst through your door,heart aching when he saw you sobbing,Kelce trying to talk to you while Topper rubbed your bare back. “What the hell happened?”He asked,not even understanding the situation.

You opened your mouth,trying to talk but only a sob came out,Topper pulling you back to him and tracing shapes along yout arm,whispering sweet nothings to you to try and help.He sent a glance towards Rafe,shaking his head.Rafe closed the door,sitting on the arm of the couch,slowly stealing you away from Topper and moving onto the couch,letting you squeeze him as tight as you needed too and he could feel your shallow breaths through his shirt.

Kelce was watching you,watching as the tears stopped falling,your eyes puffy and your bottom lip trembling.Rafe felt your grip on him becoming less tight,too weak to do squeeze him.He didnt move his arm away from you,knowing that if you were ready to let go you would push away from him. “What’s going on,princess?”He asked softly,careful to make sure his voice didnt come out harsh or shaky.

You gulped,licking you lips that tasted like salt and metal. “I hate my mom.”Was all you could say,your voice cracking.He nodded,kissing your forehead. “I know,baby.I know.”He answered,taking in a big breath.You huffed,pulling away from him,wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. “So how are you guys?”You asked,struggling not to cry again.

Kelce grinned slightly,squeezing your hand. “Im good,sweetheart.Do you want to talk about whats happening with your mom or do you want to be distracted by it?”He asked,tapping at your knuckles.You shrugged,feeling more sick than anything. “Okay,well why dont we go out to the pool so you can cool off then?”He suggested.You nodded,not fully away from Rafe yet.

Something was off with him.His hair looked like he had been pulling at it and he was more tense than usual,seeming like he was holding something back. “Um...you and Top have bathing suits upstairs.”You mumbled,your hand gripping the fabric of Rafe’s shirt.Topper nodded,tapping your ankle before he got up,Kelce giving you a small smile before going upstairs as well.You pulled away from Rafe,feeling your legs becoming tingly and your heart speed up,eyes watery. 

“Are you high right now?”You asked,a few tears sliding down your cheeks.He swallowed,looking away from you,eyes widening as he realised that he had just given himself away. “Rafe-you drove here high?”You asked,your voice high,eyes stinging.He nodded,not able to look back at you. 

“Jesus Christ-are you crazy?You couldve crashed or died or killed someone!I cant lose you-I cant fucking do it and mom is fucking gone and-and if I lose you what the fuck am I supposed to do?I dont understand why-I dont understand why you cant just-fuck.”You sniffled,trying to figure out what you were going to say.He looked up at you,feeling a lump in his throat. 

“You needed me here so I did what i had to do.”He answered,reaching for your hand only for you to pull away from him. “I hate you.”You mumbled,sniffing.His jaw dropped,a wave of nausea hitting him. “You cant mean that.”He whispered.Of course you didnt mean that.You could never hate Rafe even if you really wanted too. “You might fucking overdose or something.”You whispered,wanting nothing more than to cup his face and kiss him,tell him all your thoughts and twirl his fingers in your hair.

He shook his head,glancing over at the staircase every couple of seconds. “I wont,I wont.I dont do that much.”As the words came from his mouth he realised just how bad they sounded. “Bullshit.What happened in my bathroom then?That looked like a lot to me.”You took in a big breath,trying not to let yourself spiral again.

He just stared at you,hearing the other boys coming down the stairs. “We can talk about this later,okay?”He asked,leaning forward slightly.You nodded,looking over to see Topper and Kelce in their blue and grey bathing suits.Kelce stared at Rafe,silently telling him to go get changed.Rafe nodded,prying his eyes off of you and getting off the couch,heading upstairs.

Kelce sat down across from you where Rafe had previously been,his hands in his lap. “Do you need an ibuprofen or a hug?”He asked.You swallowed,leaning forward and resting your head against him,your arms around his bare shoulders. “THis sucks.”You mumbled,closing your eyes.He nodded,running his pointer finger along your spine. “I know,I know.Things will get better though.”He answered,his hands holding both sides of your head as he placed a kiss against your hairline.

You got up eventually,going upstairs to your room to grab a bathing suit,colliding your fist against the wood out of anger.Anger towards your mom,anger towards yourself,anger towards Rafe’s addiction.Rafe stood in the door way,confused as to what the loud bang he had heard was.You didnt notice him,throwing the clothes from your drawers all over the room,smacking the top of your dresser,your jaw clenching.

You brought your arm back to punch the wood again,only for someone to grab your arm,spin you around and push you against your dresser. “You have to calm down.”He whispered,holding tight on your wrists.You avoided eye contact,glancing down at his bare chest. “I am calm.”You replied,pushing him away as you went to find the one peice bathing suit that you had thrown across the floor.

He was just glad that you werent as bad now as you had been the last time he watched you get like this.You had started to punch yourself in the thighs and ankles until they were bruising.He had to pin your hands on top of your head and beg you to calm down.It had scared the living shit out of him.He probably couldve handled it better but Kelce wasnt there to talk to you which left just him to take care of things.

You finally found the black sim suit,not even caring at this point,tearing off your pants and kicking them into the corner.Rafe bit his lip,forcing himself to turn around.He heard the straps of the bathing suit smack against your shoulder,walking up next to him to grab a tshirt from your drawer and pull it on over the bathing suit,leaving your room and not bothering to clean up the mess that you had made.

He looked around your room,deciding he could just clean it up for you later.He followed behind you,noticing that the boys had already gone out to the pool. “Hey,lets talk.”He spoke,stopping you as you walked through the kitchen. “What?What do you want to talk about?”You asked,leaning against the kitchen counter.He sighed,his hands on the marble countertop o either side of you,staring down at you.

 “Whatever you want.I’ll answer whatever you want me to.”He replied.You nodded,thinking of everything you wanted to know.  “Whatever I want?”You asked.He nodded.“Have you….god,I dont know.Have you ever like….hurt someone when you were high?”You asked,knowing the answer when he started to bite the inside of his cheek. “Yeah,I have.I’d never hurt you though,if thats what your asking.”His hands tightened around the marble,watching as you bit your lip.

 “What about Top and Kelce?Have they ever done drugs?”You asked,nearly gasping when you saw him nod. “Did you make them do it?”You asked,dreading the answer. “I didnt force them to do it...Kelce only did it once and he only did one line.Top did three a couple months back.”Rafe answered,being as honest as he could with you. 

“When did it get this bad?You used to only do one line a week and now you’re doing like,a line a day.”You instinctively sat on the countertop,barely any space between you two.He cleared his throat,not knowing what to say because he didnt want to send you back into panic. “I know,im trying to get better.I’ve never done it in your house,like ever.You know that.”He reminded you,keeping his distance.

He figured that if he touched you at all you’d become insecure or angry,swat his hand away and probably begin to cry again. “Im not mad at you,you know that,right?”You asked,feeling your nose start to run again.You quickly pulled up your shirt,pinching your nose with the fabric.He nodded,tapping his short finger nials on the marble counter.The conversation went on for probably five minutes before the big question came,the one that you had been dreading.

 “Do you have any on you right now?”You asked,not even caring at this point.When the conversation began and you hadnt been shocked by any of his answers you probably wouldve been upset when he nodded.You werent upset,or shocked or even mad.Just numb. “I thought you were out on the boat,”You saw him frown,not understanding where you were going with this. “So how did you drive here?”You asked.He simply shrugged his shoulders,staring down at his feet.

 “I jumped off the side and got on the jet ski.”He answered,making you smile slightly. “You got onto the jetski and then drove over here?”You asked,your hand sliding down his arm and your fingers intertwining with his.He became less tense,his other hand no longer gripping the marble so hard that his fingertips were turning purple. “Yeah,I just peaced out.”He laughed quietly,his forehead resting onto your collarbone.You licked your lips,legs wrapping around his waist comfortably.

If only you knew the things that he felt within him when you did that. “Hey,”You mumbled,making him pick up his head a bit. “Do you….do you remember when you kissed me?”You asked,feeling him tense under you,his head moving off of your collarbone,staring down at you. 

“Yeah.”He answered.You nodded,hands ending up in your lap. “Did you tell Kelce?”You asked,not even understanding why you had asked that.Kelce had always been extremely important to you.He was the one person you could trust with your insecurities or ask him for coping mechanisms.Now you were starting to wonder if maybe you had a thing for Kelce.

Everyone was making you question your feelings and your sanity. “I mean,I kind of had too.You know how he is,he figures shit out by body language and he knows when something is going on.I dont even know,hes the only one that ever payed attention to Criminal Minds,im not even gonna lie to you.”he replied,biting his lip as he waited for your reaction,only to hear the sliding door open.

His head whipped around,seeing Kelce standing there with water dripping from him. “Are you guys okay?Its been like ten minutes since you’ve changed.”Kelce looked over at you,more specifically the position you were in with Rafe practically on top of you. 

“Yeah,yeah we’re fine.I was just talking about life.”You slowly got off the counter,flicking at Rafe’s thigh as you slid past him and walked by Kelce,going to sit in the shallow end of the pool.Kelce watched you,positive you couldnt hear as he entered the house,closing the sliding door and glaring at Rafe. “Did you say something to her?”He asked.

Rafe shook his head,attempting to walk past him only for Kelce to put a hand on his shoulder and hold him in place. “Why does she look more upset than she was ten minutes ago?”He asked,pushing further. “Because she found out that im high and got mad about it.We talked it out and now everything is fine,okay?”Rafe nodded a bit,sliding the door and walking out of the house,Kelce sighing.

Things were getting messy and he was always the one to hold things together.But now he wasnt even sure if he wanted to do that anymore.He stood in your house for a couple more minutes,finally putting a smile on his face and walking back out,seeing Topper kneeling in front of you and splashing water into your face.

You were squealing at the cold water,grabbing Topper by his wrists and pushing him back into the water,his hair becoming soaked and sticking to his forehead. “YOU BITCH!”Topper shouted,throwing you over his shoulder and running through the water and into the deep end,your legs wrapping around him tight so he’d go down with you.

Rafe grinned at your laughing,you rubbing your eyes and slicking your hair back out of your face.Kelce was tense,trying to soften up again but between Rafe’s smirk as he watched you,Topper holding you and the face that so much was happening was making him a bit mad.He stuck his feet in the pool,not paying attention to much except for the clouds that were moving at sloths pace.

He felt two warm hands wrap around his shins,trying to drag him into the water.He grinned,kicking his feet and forcing you to let go. “You’re no fun.”You pouted,elbows on his thighs as you stared up at your friend.He grinned,shrugging at he ringed the water from your hair. “You seem like you’re in a mood,whats up?”You asked,ignoring Rafe’s stare. “I dunno,kind of just stressed.”He answered,holding onto your hands as he moved his feet in circles underwater.

 “Did you eat today?”You deepened your voice,grinning as he flicked you on the head. “Shut up.”He smiled,licking his lips. “Do you want to have a movie night tonight?I kind of just want to forget about things,you know?”You asked,tapping your fingers on his chest.He nodded,agreeing. “What movie do you want to watch?”He asked,helping you out of the pool so you could sit next to him.

 “I dont know,maybe a horror movie.I feel like it’ll get my mind off of reality.”You replied,squinting as the sunlight hit your eyes,not aware of the silver car that had just pulled into your driveway,someone walking right into your house as you sat at the pool with your friends.

@sweetlittlegingy​    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky @jjjmaybank @gracelovesbroadway  @one-stella @outerbongs  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​ @spn-marvel-nerd​ @i-love-scott-mccall 

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[thoi2020]

u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

[tumbleddick]

A lot had happened since this post so let me try to reconnect the memories.

My ex would start dating an extroverted racist with a trigger finger that I would be pressured to live with by my roommates. This leads to me moving back in to my mother's house after my brother left her with bills to pay and nobody to pay them. I'd sleep the next 6 months away. Losing weight the whole time obviously not consciously. Working as a line cook and begging girls to give me attention the whole time. I had a small stint in an office gig paying more money than I'd ever made but all of it would go to waste as my mom had lied about the cost of living in her house. No money to eat only enough for gas to work I'd sleep the rest of the time away. The next February I'd meet a girl who decided to stick around even while I struggled. At the same time I started the process of joining the military and accidentally getting a dog. After a few arguments with my mom I'd couch hop until I got into an apartment, I'd only stay there two months until they found out about my dog and try to evict me. Legally they fucked up and we called a truce where I left with no eviction and I didn't sue them for throwing away my things. This led to more couch surfing until I would enlist in the military. During boot camp everyone sends you letters, except I only got letters from my girlfriend at the time. Who I left in limbo when I enlisted for her own good, I wasn't and still am not mentally healthy so I thought I'd do her a favor and leave. We talked everyday in bootcamp, I realized i was better with her than without and soon after graduation I'd propose. Surprise, I did the military thing and got married asap. This year wouldnt go as planned though, the world came to a stop with quarantine. Everything closed and I was locked on base with no visitors for 9 months. During the nine months I went to more school tried to work on myself and fail, but successfully got married online, 21st century right. Well I'd go to another state for more schooling afterwards with so much more freedom. My wife would visit me often and we would stay in AirBNBs from loft apartments to small boats docked at a port. I'd graduate this second school top of my class and get sent to Florida for my final orders, this came with a slew of more schools that would send me across the country and back right after finding out my wife was pregnant. Almost like clockwork she would give birth a mere few weeks before I ended up on a ship. Luckily my son is perfect, and I got to take a month off to be with him. After that though work would be great, I showed what I was worth to the command and that I could do great things, the holiday season would turn around fast and my mental health would plummet. I've had terrible thoughts and I almost acted on them after working 60 hours over the new year week. I'd see a therapist and a psychologist quickly after that where my doctor looked at me and asked if I still wanted to be in the military. Immediately I said no, and the ball got rolling. The ship would workup for deployment and I'd get paperwork started to separate early, honorably. Before I wrap this up let me update a few things.

the original girl of this post is dead to me, and a pitiful excuse of a person if I can lend my own opinion on my post. The best friend from years ago went with her. I don't speak to my mother at all and my father is distant. My family is who I see everyday and I silently thank my wife, the love of my life, everyday for standing by me through tears, pain and therapy. Ive been diagnosed with Systemic Depression and ive been talking to a wonderful therapist about why. This journal is a reality check that what I have memories of has actually happened. Obviously this is just surface level that I want to share but I'm glad I'm still doing it a decade later. A couple things to add, I've added a cat and another dog to the family, old boy is still kicking with a thousand skin issues. I've gained weight but I'm working on it, slowly. I'm happier now than I was at my last entry.

To wrap things up for the current, I'm waiting for paperwork to come back to separate. The ship is on deployment so my work load is light right now, I spend a lot of time with my boy and as stressed as I can get, there's no better feeling than holding him.

Stolen idea? neeeevvveerrrr

Well I guess I can steal this and do it myself.  I don’t know if you’ll call this sad or not but here goes.

I was raised by a mentally ill father, he’s had brain surgery and didn’t know much right from wrong, I sat back as he abused my older brother, which made my brother lash out towards me. Or try and protect me, I was confused at the time but I see this now. For 6 years of my life I lived like this, jumping school, until we took a drastic jump to a different state. This caused court issues between him and my Mom, we told our story to the court, Mom was immediately appointed legal guardian  Dad had no say in the matter. We stay with her, I, Overweight at the time. And getting ridiculed by the kids at school for the longest time. I try to do as many sports as possible to lose the weight, I just wanted the name calling to stop, Football, Wrestling and Baseball. I stuck with the first two. Baseball just caused more ridicule. By fourth grade I found a few friends and stayed away from the crowds of kids making fun of me when I drew near them, One of them I found particularly nice and out going. She was nice to everyone, even kids she hurt. I tried to get close to her since she was the only person I could talk to. I ended growing a small crush for her, it seemed like nothing to me but it blossomed fast. Sixth grade came a long and I lost a ton of the weight,the name calling stopped but the friendships didn’t change. I stayed with this girl, she was the only one I wanted. I hid my feelings, scared she’d reject me. Shy. I thought I was to attached to her so I branched off, joined the ‘popular’ group in seventh grade, worst decision ever. Nearing the end of seventh grade I went back to her, I climbed back to her ‘bestfriend’ level within a month or two. One of those I had used her bestfriend to get back to being close to her. I feel bad for using her like that but I couldn’t be without her, she was my world. I leave to go and see my Dad over summer and every day was Hell. I finally get back, and that friend I used I feel sorry for and become friends with to make amends with myself. But I finally get a chance to talk to the girl of my dreams, I try to ask her out. But I chicken out and I use sports as my breakthrough. I told myself, if we won our first game. That was a sign that we were destine to be together. Well that kicked me in the ass when game time came around. We win, with flying colors. I finally ask her out, after getting coaxed to by friends. It’s been almost five months since that day and I’ve had no regrets of doing that. She’s my true love, and everything done before was worth it. I love my life now, I wouldn’t trade it for anyone. Or anything.

Basically, no matter where you came from, everything gets better, just give it time.

[eldritchforesthorror]

im playing ac vallhalaha again bc of course i am, but when you go to build the assassins bureau Hytham...talks like he thinks hell be doing the missions to find the old hidden ones locations and find the zealots by himself. at this point you can already fight a zealot so like, we know were going to be fighting them. but Hytham doesn't. Basim doesn't tell him he like...cant DO things until when? when hes leaving? probably like right before so he can just. leave. and not have to deal with hytham being upset.

the trip over is like 2 weeks i think layla says so. for 2 weeks atleast on a boat Basim told him probably talked to him about what they would be doing in England but didn't tell him like hey. youre not going to be able to actualy go out and do missions. 

like i like Basim as a character, but FUCK i hate basim. 

expanding on that, basim had already (right after Hytham gets hurt, the last part of Norway) is giving you tips on how to assasinate people. like he KNEW hytham wouldnt be able to assasinate the zealots right away. he even says like hell never fully recover so he knew.

[sisyphus-prime]

(Bugsnax Spoilers( It's been a bit, but could you talk more on the Floofty when snorpy dies, or snorpy when floofty dies.

Aye. I can absolutely do that. Gonna be rambly as f because yah

Okay okay okay I gotta uhhh

I said a bit before about how Floofty would have a delayed response. And I still like.. think that entirely, there is just. They're on the beach, and they dont talk about snorpy and behave like there isnt anything wrong as a way to.. skirt around the situation as it were. Hes not dead if you don't say it right? Right??

Well, it's easier to pretend at least. And when in the safety of their home, I dunno, they get to a point of lowered guard where they can't really pretend. And it hits hard. Knees buckling underneath them hard. And the problem with that is that's a sort of reaction you cant just shove it down again. It's one thing If they didnt get to test bugsnax and their regenerative properties, it's another if they tried. Because here they are, mostly fine, and Snorpy, who had stopped them from doing something stupid, is not. and how is that fair? They probably lie there for a while regardless, probably not crying hard. but teary enough that it's an issue and just... pain.

I feel like Floofty would have a hard time getting any emotional thoughts across in general, and the emotions held onto through all that would be grief, pain and pure rage. It doesnt matter what conspiracy nonsense this may or may not be, they're gonna be in the same boat as Chandlo about striking back as hard as possible over this if the chance comes. They talked about trying to be better about not insulting people, but the bitterness of the loss of their brother sort of.. leaves that in the dust.

They shove it all down the best they can, and try to go back to functioning normally, But there's only so long they can do that, and they can only adapt to shaking hands so much.

------------

Snorpy, on the other hand, is purely in denial. Chandlo is fine. He is fine. Of course Floofty would be fine. Floofty is their sibling, if they could survive cutting their leg off without proper support or help, they could handle a few bugsnax. Grumpanati scheme or not, if Floofty wasnt part of them, they could surely outwit them. Of course they could.. don't give him that look, Floofty is just.. they're fine.

And Snorpy keeps this up all the way home. And for the rest of the day. And for a week. And adamantly refuses a funeral because of course Floofty is fine they just.. maybe they accidentally got left behind. And they're with Liz and Eggabell. They- they-

There is just so much denial, there is an adamant avoidance of the truth that becomes steadily apparent to everyone else as it fades from genuine belief to more of am act. And dawg...

...you can only keep it up that much at that stage. Probably takes a decent push from Chandlo before Snorpy even let's himself grieve properly. And it just. All that stress that's been building up as he kepts pulling out idea after idea and connection after connection to try and come up with some truth that his sibling was fine and he just. Basically collapses because it's just finally letting that finally hit properly. And putting it off didnt make it any friendlier

Man... if he didn't have chandlo though. That's double the loss on his shoulders, and there is no denying when Chandlo was right there. But without his support... there is a difference in the trust and security found between him and Chandlo vs him and every other grumpus. And he probably wouldnt have the strength to let go of that hope that Floofty was okay until far too late.

Tl;dr:

floofty's grief response is delayed and the loss of snorpy makes them insanely bitter and angry after kinda going docile for a bit, and they can't hold the emotions down but theyrr trying so hard to

Snorpy's grief response is denial and he holds onto it the best he can while coming up with so many connections and solutions to how his sibling must be alive and is even holding on to it when he doesnt believe it. It's only with Chandlo helping him get through the emotions can he grieve properly. Without chandlo, it's. He doesn't let go for so much longer, if ever