#what i want for my birthday is to probably be left alone tbh i like birthday messages but i really don't want the disappointment i had

[girl-bateman]

Reading my great aunts annotations and underlined words and finding her shopping-list bookmark stuck between the pages of books, I feel closer to her than I ever did and I wish we had talked more when she was alive but all I can hope for now is that she's happy that someone's reading her favourite books and thinking about her. I would be.

[valandherweekofwonders]

i'll be 24 in exactly a month and i never anticipated i would change this much from 21 years old to now but oh i was so wrong. i can just tell my brain has developed because i was absolutely not capable of some of these thoughts before. i have been talking a lot in therapy on aging and how suddenly i am feeling it but not in the oh no i will get old and wrinkly sort of way more like oh.... i am an adult. i have lived to a point i did not anticipate i would. i am a small child but i am not a small child anymore. there is a future to plan. everything is different and i interact with it differently. i am perceived as something i am not used to yet, being capable and responsible and no longer a silly dumb kid. people ask me seriously about children and marriage. my parents wouldn't be distressed if i got pregnant now, they'd be excited instead. my friends are married and are starting their own families. i have no idea what i am doing in the next 6 months and i am really distraught over it. for the first time, i have no idea what i am doing and i have no plan and no idea of what could happen and all i can think of doing is crying but i know that won't help. i am not a small child anymore.

[koqabear]

Hiii congrats on 2k sol obsessed with everything you write!!!!💓 Could I request revisiting emo boy? Like what their relationship is like after and dates and how sex is like? Maybe beomgyu’s band really blows up and he’s quite busy, how does oc respond to this? And with smut? Tysm!!💝

playlist // beomgyu's encore outfit hehe // cont. of hey emo boy!

 “The day of your one-year anniversary with Beomgyu was expected to be spent away from each other— but not if either of you can help it, far too in love to let anything get in the way of you two.”

bassist!beomgyu x fem!reader // wc: 6.6K (everyone stfu rn) // genre: band au, opposites attract trope, established relationship, smut, tooth rotting fluff tbh, MDNI.

warnings: they are in love and it’s fucking GROSS!! barely edited, the two have hella piercings hehe (bg: snake bites, tongue, eyebrow // mc: smiley & nipple piercings) pet names (sweet thing, pretty, etc.) use of the L word bc they are literally obsessed w/ each other.

smut warnings: hard dom! gyu, sub!mc, needy sex sorry 😖, marking, manhandling, dry humping, biting, breast play, possessiveness, unprotected sex, bg picks the mc up, scratching, dacryphilia, dumbification, a lot of kissing lol, degrading, slight praise, fingering, creampie, cum eating…? lmk if i should add anything !

Notes: happy (late) birthday to the fic that’s probably my peak… this story single handedly changed the course of my blog me thinks. thank you to everyone who was just as affected by emo gyu as i was. 

Being in a committed relationship with Choi Beomgyu, bassist of Tomorrow x Together and an absolute unattainable heartthrob, was not very easy. 

It was at first; with their blossoming career, it was more about the music than their looks. Fans were loyal simply because they liked their sound, their message, the way their concerts were filled with such energy and passion it left their hearts beating with adrenaline after— but of course, it’s hard to not notice the absolute eye candy on stage; low-lidded gazes, dark stage lights that barely highlighted their stunning features, and clothing that was just as alluring and flattering as the rest of them; inevitably, their popularity sky-rocketed, for better and for worse. 

Beomgyu was left with more money than he knew what to do with. Most of the time, it was used to spoil you, his pretty girlfriend he brought with him everywhere because he was just too obsessed with you— it made his band members wonder if he simply had attachment issues by how much his world revolved around you. But no, you were just as bad as him; present during rehearsals, always in the studio to cheer them on or give them a second opinion on a new song; it wasn’t long before you ended up befriending the rest of them as well, a tight bond forming simply because of all the things you went through together. 

As unfortunate as it was, they weren’t the only ones forced to bear with negative and hateful encounters from the public; while they had their experiences of being mistreated early in their career, you had to deal with immature or creepy fans that had taken a liking to harass you— inboxes on all social media platforms flooded constantly, your number even leaked once as you were forced to buy a new phone all together from how badly you were being spammed— Beomgyu had been quick to lash out and tell them to leave you alone if they didn’t want a lawsuit on their hands. 

Overtime, they adjusted to their popularity. Schedules slowly became filled to the brim, their dream now a reality as they spent months on tour— and while you were more than happy and proud of them and their flourishing career, it’d be a lie to say it was all one happy and perfect life. 

You hadn’t seen Beomgyu in ages— decades, centuries, eons— in other words, two weeks. 

The band had more interviews and performances than you could keep up with; if they weren’t on some random talk show, they were at a photoshoot, getting interviewed for the next issue of a magazine you’d undoubtedly have on your coffee table the day it came out. Promotions, nights at the studio, it all added up— and before you knew it, your one year anniversary began to creep up, and all hopes to celebrate it properly dwindled down in your heart— but, having him here with you today was enough. 

You didn’t blame Beomgyu; you weren’t angry or upset, because it was simply something neither of you could control. And though it did suck knowing you wouldn’t be able to spend such a meaningful day together, it felt a little better to know that you weren’t the only one hung up on it. 

On the contrary— you think Beomgyu might be handling this worse than you. 

“Baby, baby please,” he cries, refusing to let go of you and cuddling closer to you instead, a mess of tangled limbs and blankets as he cups your face fondly, “pleaaase I know you said I shouldn’t feel bad but please come on tour with us this week, I think I’ll seriously die if you’re not here this time.”

“Gyu, baby, I really shouldn’t—” you say quietly, only to get cut off by his excessive whining and teary eyes. His bottom lip is jutted out in a ridiculous pout, squeezing your cheeks and holding back a smile at the way your lips puff out as a result; you attempt to push him off you, only for him to retaliate by rolling entirely on top of you, a loud squeal escaping you at the feeling of his weight pressing you into the mattress, his stupid face hovering over yours as he continues to plead you quietly. 

“Pleaaseee?” he whines, pressing his flat palms against your cheeks and getting your lips to puff out again; he ignores your half-hearted protests for him to get the fuck off, choosing to punctuate his every word with a kiss instead, his piercings a sharp contrast to his plump lips that crash against you with every word. 

“Please?” kiss. “Won’t you,” kiss. “come with us?” another kiss. 

“Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease—” 

He’s practically suffocating you at this point, refusing to pull away and mumbling the words against your lips, laughs breaking between the two of you as you yell at him to get off, that you can barely breathe with him on top of you; you’re pushing at his shoulders weakly as he continues to tease you, your unabashed laugh contagious as he quickly finds himself smiling as well— he only pulls away once he hears you yell a loud fuck, okay! Hovering over you with bright eyes and a wide grin. 

His arms snake around your waist before he’s rolling over, successfully switching so that you’re the one on top of him— he ignores the loud and exaggerated sigh of relief you let out. 

“It won’t make much of a difference though,” you say quietly, hiding in the crook of his neck as you confess your doubts, “You’ll be too busy and exhausted the whole day, I really don’t want me to be added to your list of concerns.”

You went on tour with him, once— but you learned it was better off to not be anywhere backstage with him during those times, the boy too concerned and constantly doting on you to remain focused; any mistakes he made hitting much harder, a subconscious pressure to be perfect and give his all only trifolded by your presence.

“What? No,” he says immediately, sitting back on his elbows and causing you to look up at him in response; his brows are furrowed and he seems a bit baffled by your comment, shaking his head adamantly to emphasize his point, “I like having you there. I know you like being there, I want you there— I wouldn’t be asking you to come with me if I thought you were a burden.”

He managed to pull out the exact words you were trying to skirt around— your face heats up at his reassurance, much too intimidated by the intensity of his gaze as you bury your face into his chest instead; his chest bounces from the laugh he lets out, flopping onto his back once more and hugging you close, bodies pressed flush against each other and one of his legs thrown around your waist in a childish attempt to pull you even closer. 

“Plus, don’t you wanna visit Europe with me?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his voice as he feels you nod shyly; he knows just how much you enjoy the travel aspect to his career, constantly asking for pictures or to facetime while he’s gone, “I wanna show you all my favorite spots this time, and not through some glitchy facetime— I wanna spend time with you, sweet thing.”

“Ugh, shut up,” you groan, hitting his chest weakly as he simply laughs at you softly, “you’re so corny.”

“You love it,” he coos, rubbing a soothing hand up and down your back, biting back a smile at the way he can feel your breath even out— you remain silent. Partly because you’re falling asleep from his touch, and partly because he’s right. 

⤬⤬⤬ 

Europe is breathtaking— you’ve never been so grateful for Beomgyu’s stubborn, persistent mind. 

The tour has gone as perfect as always, spending a few days at their shows before you simply resigned to stay at the hotel instead; after seeing that Beomgyu was so distracted trying to look for you during a show that he missed his cue (and played the notes wrong to another song) you found it better to wait for him and see him after instead— ready to help him wind down and relax after another energetic, adrenaline-inducing show. 

Most nights consisted of you practically carrying him to the bathtub; cooing soft reassurance as he whined about how tired and sore he felt, shampooing his hair, massaging his scalp and tense shoulders— most of the time, he’d fall asleep then and there, and it’d be another hassle to wake him up and get him out. You’d lure him out of the tub and wait for him to change into your matching pajamas— hello kitty ones, his idea, not yours—  and greet him in the bed with a warm embrace and lips that peppered kisses all over his face.

It was during these moments you found humor in the contrast of his stage persona to his true self; from his usual attire, chokers and ripped clothes, wardrobe consisting of black and multiple piercings that decorated his ears and face, your thumb brushing over his newest eyebrow piercing fondly— versus the man that slept soundly in your arms now, long hair tied back and cute pink barrettes clipping back his bangs, donned in hot pink fuzzy pajamas— and you’re sure that if his band members saw him like this, they’d never stop teasing him. 

You didn’t have to wait long to confirm that thought; Beomgyu didn’t bother changing as he met up with the others in Yeonjun’s room for breakfast the next morning, tugging you along and remaining unfazed at the way his band members burst out laughing the moment he entered the room— you felt a bit bad at the way you found yourself laughing as well, even more so because you’re the only reason he’s found himself dressed like this. (But again, he was the one who bought these clothes in the first place.)

“Happy anniversary, you two,” Yeonjun muses, smiling at the way you’re the only one who seems to process that, chirping out a cheery thank you! as you proceed to drag Beomgyu to the couch, “I feel bad that we have a concert today, ___. As vomit-inducing as it is seeing you two, you do deserve to spend the day together.”

“It’s okay,” you immediately say, brushing his teasing comment off and holding back a smile at the way Beomgyu is still struggling to gain consciousness, more tired than you thought as he simply stares at his waffles for a moment before finally digging in, “at least he’s spending the day doing something he loves.”

“Gross,” Hueningkai says, scrunching his nose playfully before laughing at the glare you send him, “you two are so mushy, it’s painful.”

The rest of the day leading up to the concert is spent peacefully; once Beomgyu has gained enough coherence to fight back against the member’s jabs, he’s pulling you away to show you new sights and stores he discovered from his previous visits, spoiling you beyond belief and buying anything you look at for a second too long; you end up with more bags than you know what to do with, and Beomgyu refuses to let you carry a single one as he proceeds to take you one of his go-to restaurants, as he told you; saying he’s been wanting to bring you here since the moment he found it, smiling brightly when he sees you enjoying the food as much as he did.

To say he’s reluctant to leave you to go to the concert venue is an understatement; you think he might start crying at any given moment as he stares at you with shining eyes, unable to let go of your hand as he stands by the door of the hotel room— not quite ready to leave yet, but knowing that he must eventually as he chooses to bring you in for another slow, loving kiss instead. 

“Are you sure you’re not coming tonight?” he asks you, trying to hide the sadness in his voice and failing miserably.

“And make you fuck up your setlist? I don’t think so,” you try to joke, only to panic slightly at the way his eyes gloss over; your hand immediately jumps up to cup his face, laughing softly at his expression as he simply pouts at you ridiculously. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” you grin, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before you lean over to his ear, voice dropping to nothing but a whisper as you let your lips brush against his ear, “I’ll have a nice surprise for you tonight, so you better give your best show out there, okay?”

The low lilt of your voice is enough to have him perking up immediately; mouth parted slightly as he stares at you, unsure of what else to do but nod pathetically, knowing he won’t be able to control himself if he thinks about what you might have in store for too long. 

With one last chaste kiss, he’s leaving— and only because Soobin was pounding at the door, telling him they’d be late if he didn’t go out this instant— you think he might start crying as he gives you one last pouty glance, waving to you sadly before he slips out the door. 

You’re left alone, the room suddenly much lonelier and quieter than it was a few seconds ago— and you laugh, checking the time and running to your suitcase to get your makeup and outfit for tonight. 

A revealing shirt, a mini-skirt that’s a bit alarmingly short— you’re pulling out a sparkling, pink outfit like it’s nothing, throwing it all on and doing your makeup as you check the time absentmindedly; your phone lights up while you’re in the middle of doing so, and a notification reads that the staff are waiting for you outside to take you to the venue once you’re ready. 

Beomgyu loves performing knowing you’re in the audience more than anything; it’s something he’s made blatant to you, knowing that despite his mistakes, despite his small distractions, his energy always goes out the roof the moment he spots you there. So you knew how distraught Beomgyu would be to hear that you’re not going to the show tonight despite being able to, but the thought of surprising him is much more enticing than you’d like to admit. 

With one last check of your appearance in the mirror, you grab a jacket before you go; Beomgyu’s favorite oversized zip-up, the clothing item a stark contrast to the rest of your feminine and bright attire— and you smile, adjusting the purse on your shoulder before you’re off to the hotel lobby, where the staff are waiting and ready to escort you safely. 

The venue is almost full by the time you get there; you’re escorted straight to your barricade seats front and center, smiling shyly and waving at fans that seem to recognize you; your face feels hot and you walk faster at the way they get excited at the sight of you, not used to the fame that comes with being Beomgyu’s girlfriend— hell, you really don’t know how Beomgyu does it. 

You’re more than relieved once the concert begins, any attention that still lingered on you immediately getting stolen by the boys that appeared on stage; you winced slightly at the loud screams all around you, unable to help the way you eventually joined in— morphing into another fan in the crowd, the venue much too dark for any of the boys to recognize you just yet. 

They looked stunning in their concert outfits; the professional, matching and dark outfits tailored perfectly to each member, intricate with chains and rosaries and pretty layers. Your eyes widen as you watch Beomgyu walk to his position, taking note of his hair that has now been dyed back to black— you hadn’t realized how long it’d gotten until now, the layers framing his face and falling into his eyes as he goes to push back his bangs with a delicate hand. 

There are no introductions tonight— the music begins immediately, loud and abrasive and making the crowd jump along excitedly, screaming the lyrics and reaching out to try and get one of the members to pay attention to them— on the contrary, you try to remain hidden, looking away and bowing your head every time Beomgyu’s gaze sweeps around your area. 

God, you wish Beomgyu didn’t turn into such a ditz whenever he spotted you in the audience— because then you’d be able to enjoy more of their concerts, addicted to the borderline euphoric feeling you get from attending them, only for it to be multiplied as your eyes catch onto your boyfriend performing, your heart pounding against your chest at the sound of his voice ringing out into the venue— a surge of pride and love fills you as a grin spreads on your face, and it isn’t until you notice a member walking around that you’re able to look away from him.

Looking up, you make eye contact with Hueningkai. 

His mischievous smile and raised brows are immediately returned with a violent shake of your head; telling him to not say anything to Beomgyu, rubbing your hands together pleadingly the moment he glances back at the said man— then he turns to you, sending you a playful wink before he’s off to another section, not without sending you one last teasing grin and a wave; you’re glancing at Beomgyu in a panic, unsure if he’s spotted you, only to be relieved at the sight of him too concentrated on playing to even look up at the crowd.

It isn’t until the encore that they’ve all begun to move around, (save for Taehyun and Soobin, bound to their instruments as they’re resigned to simply wave at the crowd when they can) changed into more comfortable outfits during a small intermission— Beomgyu is decked in baggy jeans and an equally baggy shirt, long hair messy and makeup smudged as he walks along the stage, smiling and waving at fans that reach out for him— he plays his bass so effortlessly as he does, truly mesmerizing as he stops a few times to interact with fans; the sight has your heart fluttering hopelessly. 

But the closer he gets, the more you’re buzzing with nervous energy. Gripping onto the barricade tightly, having stood up long ago with the rest of the fans that are eager to get their attention. Beomgyu’s eyes scan through the crowd thoroughly, smiling cutely and returning hearts until he spots you. 

He freezes entirely. 

He’s no longer playing bass— he’s just standing there, in complete shock as he stares at you. You can only muster to give him a sheepish wave, an uncontrollable grin on your face as you laugh at his dumbfounded expression, trying to yell at him to go back to playing. But he doesn’t, and you’re jumping slightly at the way he takes off his bass and jumps off the stage, security frantically following behind as he rushes over to you.

His hands are on your face and he’s pulling you in for a kiss quicker than you can process; you hear the screams of the crowd around you, but Beomgyu’s got you in his hold so tightly that you’re unable to pull away, left to give in and melt against him as he kisses you for a little longer. Your face feels as though it’s on fire by the time he’s pulled away, his own alight entirely with joy as he grins at you, your head still in his hands as he leans against the barricade excitedly— you think he might just jump over it any moment now.

“You’re here?” he says exasperatedly, eyes scanning you frantically as though he were imagining you, “why didn’t you tell me, you should’ve— I would’ve—”

“Beomgyu,” you cut him off, placing your hands over his and laughing at the way he can only stutter stupidly, brushing his hair behind his ear fondly— watching the way his eyes crinkle cutely as he smiles, your own sweeping over the array of piercings that decorate him, hello kitty earrings glinting under the light— and pry his hands off your face, ignoring the pout he sends you as you scold him instead. “Get back on stage!”

Your words seem to snap him out of his reverie; his head is whipping back to look at the stage, at the way his friends can only laugh at him teasingly and yell at him to get back here— the way Yeonjun yells directly into the mic is slightly embarrassing, shrinking at the way all eyes are on you as the man’s words ring out the venue— Beomgyu, get the fuck back here!

He’s only able to leave with one last chaste kiss— the crowd is screaming at the sight, and you’re resisting the urge to cover your face in weak hopes that it could take all this attention off you— but you’ll bear it, especially with the way Beomgyu mouths a cute I love you! before he’s jumping back on stage. 

The poor boy is unable to take his eyes off you for the rest of the night— but on the bright side, there are no missed cues or wrong notes played. He’s just entranced with you for the rest of the encore, his energy seemingly replenished with the way he jams out to the music; mouthing the lyrics even when it’s not his part, maintaining eye-contact with you during songs he knows you’re particularly fond of— and suddenly, the idea of spending his anniversary at a concert isn’t as depressing as it was earlier tonight— because now, he had you by his side. 

⤬⤬⤬

“Beomgyu— Beomgyu please, not here…” you whine, unable to do much but bite your lip and swallow back whines that threaten to escape you, left to Beomgyu’s mercy as he immediately led you to his dressing room after the show— the said man is much too focused on kissing and marking your neck to listen, soft hair brushing against your face as he pulls you flush against him; back pressed against the wall, arched prettily from the way his hands snake around your waist and press your lower half against his— you’re holding back a groan at the way he’s already hopelessly hard against you. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d be coming? Hmmm? Just wanted to be a tease? Was this your little surprise?” he asks, biting at your skin and huffing out a laugh at the whine that escapes you; your hands are gripping onto his shirt tightly, fisting it in your hands and wrinkling the material as he lets his teeth sink slightly near your collarbones, “god, you look so good tonight, you’d really expect me to be able to hold myself back?”

His hands are wandering down your waist; over the swell of your ass, fiddling with the hem of your mini-skirt before he’s venturing under it— feeling the way you shiver against him the moment his hands squeeze at the soft flesh, fingers decorated with rings cold against your skin as he comes back up to kiss you. It’s rough and desperate, lip rings scratching as he kisses you with such hunger it leaves you breathless; he grinds his cock desperately against you, eliciting a small gasp from you and allowing him to slip his tongue inside— the piercing that decorates it scrapes along your mouth, unable to help the way your knees weaken at the feeling of him— his touch is everywhere, leaving you dizzy and lightheaded as you can only melt against him, allowing him to press you flush against the wall with his own body; your miniskirt is riding up along your hips as he situates himself between your legs, panties already a mess as he begins to rut his cock into you. 

“Are you sure you want to wait now, pretty?” he asks, looking down at you with low-lidded and fucked out eyes— he punctuates his words with a particularly harsh thrust, laughing at the way you yelp and tighten your hold on him, “I could stop everything right now, send you back to the hotel like this and make you wait, just like you said— is that what you want?”

Oh, he’s cruel— even more so because you’re left shaking your head no deliriously, your mind fogged with such need that your eyes are glossing over at the very thought of not having Beomgyu inside you right now; your voice is pathetic as you plead Beomgyu to finish what he started, throwing a hand over his shoulder and entangling your fingers into his hair as you pull him back into you— he’s more than eager to return the kiss, tilting his head and pressing himself more against you as a hand reaches down to your thigh; grabbing the back of your knee, guiding you to hook it around his waist as he begins to rut into you mindlessly.

“So cute, my pretty girl,” he mumbles against your lips, eyes trailing down your low-cut top to spot his favorite zip-up, a smile tugging at his lips as he merely sends you a cute smile, “did you miss me that much? Already so needy from a little bit of kissing— god, I love you so much…”

You think he’s mostly talking to himself at this point— spewing nothing but filth as his hands shove your shirt over your chest, grinning as he remains impatient enough to not take off a single item of clothing, choosing to push tug your bra down harshly before he’s swooping down to mark your breasts with a cruel smile.

“Looked so fucking hot out there, just made me wanna take you backstage and fuck you there,” he confesses, listening to the choked whine you let out, his pierced tongue playing with your hardened nipples, leaving them swollen and sensitive. He’s looking up at you with doe eyes that contrast greatly with the way he sticks his tongue out for you, letting you watch the way he circles and toys with the cute jewelry he bought for you earlier today, pulling away with a coy smile and leaving them soaked with his spit— he blows softly on them, watching with tentative eyes as you keen at the feeling. 

“God, you know I’ve been wanting to do this every time I see you at one of our shows? To make sure that everyone that looks at you knows just who,” he rolls his hips into you, nice and slow and letting you feel the length of his cock press against you as you flutter your eyes shut from pleasure, “you’re here for?”

“Fuck, gyu,” you pant out, snaking your hands under his shirt and up his back, grabbing at his shoulders and pulling him into you— as if there’s still space between the two of you, as if you’d die if you weren’t touching him at all times, “‘m only yours, only want you…” 

He’s sneaking a hand down to move your panties to the side, the two of you much too desperate to shed off any layers— and as you listen to the clinking sounds of his belt, undoing his jeans and pulling out his hardened cock, you busy yourself by sucking and biting at his neck, listening to his stuttered breaths as you suck and tease at the joint of his neck, his most sensitive spot as you bite at it playfully— you’re only pulling away at the feeling of Beomgyu grabbing at you hair and tugging you away, letting out a baffled laugh at the satisfied look you give him in return. 

“Want everyone to know you’re mine,” you coo out softly, grinding your pussy slowly against Beomgyu’s tip that teases your entrance, your mouth falling open at the feeling of him mirroring the action, running along your folds and swiping at your clit, “all mine, my pretty boy…”

He laughs fondly against your lips at that— bringing you in for a slow kiss, feeling the way your mind goes blank the moment his tip slowing enters you; he’s swallowing a soft moan from you as he bottoms out slowly, keeping himself deep inside and grinding his hips slowly against yours— and he stays there, a tease like always as he watches your brows furrow and your lips pout, telling him softly to move, to do something.

“Mmmh, all yours,” he mumbles softly, pulling out slowly to let you feel the way every vein runs against your walls, clenching and fluttering against his length as he hisses at the feeling, “I’m yours, belong only to you, fuck…”

He’s not able to keep this agonizingly slow pace up for long— as much as he wants to tease you, to have you crying and pleading for him to fuck you stupid, he isn’t fairing that well himself— so it isn’t long before he’s beginning to snap his hips into you, cock curving and aiming for that spot that has your knees buckling, pretty nails digging into Beomgyu’s shoulders and biting at the skin in order to try to stabilize yourself.

“Such a perfect cunt— fuck, ah, just wanna fill you up, wanna see it dripping down those pretty thighs— stupid fucking skirt can’t hide anything, ugh—” his voice is deep and breathy as he continues to talk into your ear, his hands sliding down to the swell of your ass before he’s holding it there— lifting you up, forcing you to hook your legs around his waist as you’re left to his mercy; his chest is pressed flush against yours as he fucks you, and you can only bury your face into his neck to try and muffle your sounds, the rough way you bounce from his thrusts causing your nails to slip and scratch down his back— he hisses at the feeling, only to be spurred by the stinging sensation it leaves behind. 

“So loud, shit,” he laughs meanly, grinning at the way you only bury your face into him more to try and muffle your sounds, “want everyone to hear you? All the staff, the members— I’m sure they’d like to see what a pretty doll you are for me.”

You shake your head at that— but your body gives you away as your cunt clenches around him pathetically, the wet sounds of skin against skin filling the room and undoubtedly filtering outside— but you remain persistent to keep your moans to yourself, choking back on sounds of pleasure as Beomgyu only begins to fuck you rougher; your silence is a challenge, one he’ll gladly take as he begins to roll his hips into you just the way you like it. 

“Come on pretty, I wanna hear you,” he purrs into your ear, a hand snaking around to rub at your clit while the other remains firm on your ass, “don’t you feel good? I can make you feel even better— so, so so good, just let me hear your cute little sounds.”

You’re playing hard to get. And Beomgyu takes absolute pleasure in it, watching the way you shake and dig your nails into him helplessly, your body being wound up from how good he fucks you; your thighs are sticky and shining from your arousal, poorly concealed pleasure only fueling Beomgyu’s ego further as he reaches up to tug your head out from it’s hiding spot.

He thinks he might just cum on the spot; your makeup is ruined, tears of mascara running down your cheeks as you merely let out soft hiccups of moans, your lips parted and brain completely empty as you stare at him— he smiles at you in return, capturing your lips in another kiss as his hand begins to trail down; toying with your breasts, nimble fingers pinching and rolling your nipples as you jolt and whine into his mouth at the sensation. 

“Gyu— gonna— need to, ah…!” the choked whimpers you let out aren’t enough for Beomgyu, and he only slows down at your request; fresh tears stream down your cheeks as you plead softly, breathy voice barely above a whisper as you whine quietly to keep going, don’t stop, please gyu, pleeaaase…. 

“Hmm? What’s that? I can’t hear you, baby,” he murmurs softly against your lips, slowing to nothing but a grind as he presses himself against you— pelvis grinding against your clit, the feeling making you tremble as you dig your nails into his shoulders once more. “Come on sweet thing, tell me what you need.”

You’re telling him— begging, pleading, breathy whimpers and soft cries escaping you as you roll your hips into him, biting your lip and sighing exasperatedly at the way he simply watches you with dark eyes, slowing down until he’s simply bottomed out inside you. 

“What do you want?” he asks softly, breathy voice intertwined with a lilt so sweet you’d almost think he pities you— and by the way he’s looking at you, he just might, swollen lips caught between his teeth to try and suppress a smile. You’re still weak and quiet as you try to voice your wants, looking at him through wet lashes, a pout on your face as your hands run absentmindedly up and down his back.

“Wanna cum?” he coos, pretty hand reaching down to circle and pinch your clit teasingly, “Want me to fuck you? Fill you up? Hmmm?”

All you can do is nod along to his words stupidly— and obviously, it’s the very last thing your boyfriend wants, abandoning your clit and reaching up to grab your face roughly; fingers digging into your cheeks, forced to look at him as he merely glares at you and speaks through gritted teeth. 

“Tell me,” he says, voice sharp and dangerous as he narrows his eyes, “use your words— or, don’t tell me I’ve fucked you dumb already.”

He’s unhooking one of your legs from his waist at that; you’re stumbling slightly, leg too weak to let you stand as you merely cry at him to wait, bringing him closer to you in fear that he might pull out and leave you like this— his fingers still dig into your cheeks as you speak, drool building up at the corners of your pouty lips as you stutter out exactly what you want— what he wants to hear.

“Want you to fuck me, use me— wanna cum, please,” you cry out, eyes squeezing shut as he shakes your head teasingly, as though to say and what else? “Want you to cum inside, baby please, just wanna feel good—”

You’re rambling at this point. But Beomgyu enjoys it nonetheless, telling you to keep going as he begins to move again; slowly at first, allowing you to feel the drag of his thick cock against your walls as your words become stuttered through weak moans, the sight making your boyfriend laugh as he slowly begins to pick up his pace. 

“Like it when I fuck you like this, yeah?” you’re nodding in confirmation to his words; staring at him with pleading eyes, whimpering a soft harder, faster, that the man is immediately obliging as he coos at the way you yelp at the sensation. “Want it harder? Hmmm? Want me to fuck you ‘till you can’t even walk—? Have to carry you out of here, let everyone see the way your sweet cunt is filled up by me?”

All you can do is nod to his words at this point; whimpering a weak yes, yesyesyes, want you to fill me up, use me, more more please—

Everything crashes down on you unexpectedly; your eyes are shutting tight and you think you might just black out as your orgasm hit you suddenly, cunt squeezing and fluttering around Beomgyu’s cock as he groans at the sensation— he lets you ride it out, cooing soft praise into your ear before he’s pulling you in for another kiss; you’re barely able to kiss him back, moaning into his mouth and letting him do whatever he wants with you.

It isn’t long before he’s cumming inside you as well; you’re so tight he can barely move, your cute whimpers and warm cunt guiding him through it as he fucks into you slowly, making sure none of his release slips out as he continues to fuck you, even after he’s become horribly sensitive. Then he’s still, lips still on yours and arms wrapped tightly around you as though he’s afraid to let you go.

“You okay?” he asks quietly after a moment, still lingering close to you, taking in your appearance with tentative eyes. You nod softly, still attempting to catch your breath as you chest heaves against his; he huffs out a soft laugh, caressing your cheek fondly before he’s going to fix your clothes— your mini-skirt remains up on your hips, his cock still bottomed out inside you as he coos about how good you were for him, caressing any skin he can get his hands on (which is a lot, considering your wardrobe) with a smile.

“Pretty girl, so perfect,” he coos, finally pulling out and tucking himself in before he’s going to fix your clothing; not without slipping his fingers inside your cunt one last time, watching with hungry eyes as you curl into him and cry that you’re sensitive— he’s only satisfied after his cum is left snug in your pussy, smiling darkly at the way he brings his fingers up to your mouth for you to clean— you do it without any hesitation, and Beomgyu swears he might just be getting hard again. 

“Love you so much, thank you for coming to see me today,” he says instead, bringing you in for a warm hug and a loving kiss; you merely hum tiredly in response, hands slipping out from his shirt only to be thrown over his shoulders leisurely.

Your face feels hot the moment he’s trying to get the two of you to leave back for the hotel— because your legs are absolutely not cooperating with you. 

“Holy shit, I was joking about that whole fuck you till you can’t walk thing,” he laughs, only to get cut of by the way you hit him in response— he’s letting out an exaggerated whimper at that, rubbing his arm and telling you sorry, sorry baby, with a cute pout.

“Ugh, I don’t want anyone to see me like this, fuck,” you mourn, only for Beomgyu to pull you into his side firmly, sending you a smile that’s not as reassuring as you wish it was. 

“I’m sure no one will notice,” he says simply, swinging the door open and immediately being met with Soobin passing by. 

He slows down at the sight of you two, glancing at your appearances briefly before he keeps walking. 

“Try to keep it down next time please,” he yells out, turning the corner and disappearing from your sight before you can retaliate. You feel slightly mortified by his words, but Beomgyu isn’t affected in the slightest as he leans over to murmur softly into your ear.

“Should we continue this at the hotel, pretty?”

You don’t answer his question. But he already knows the answer, sending you a giddy smile and intertwining his fingers with yours as he leads you to where the staff car is waiting for you two— and you hold back a smile of your own as you trail (limp, kinda) behind him. It’ll be a long night, but you couldn’t ask for a better way to spend your anniversary, no matter how unconventional it is.

[everythingne]

out of the woods - ls2 [2]

With a home race that couldn't go better, Dhanishka feels the confidence to let loose. But, Bahrain's post race celebration brings up some confusing feelings Dhanishka definitely won't handle the best. Charles plays the disappointed older brother role very well, Daniel is a bit of an enabler as is Lando, who also wins a bet with McLaren. Also, the FIA makes a weird call.

logan sargeant x ferrari!ex!oc

fc: iffat marash (and other pinterest girlies)

warnings/notes: mentions of past car accidents, drunkeness, a makeout scene, tbh if logan looked at me the way i describe here i would fold oops. conflicting feelings here for miss dubey

(part one) (part three)

Bahrain hasn't even started, my home race hasn't even started, and I already feel like I'm about to snap. I knew coming into this race there was a lot of pressure on me to do well, not to mention how basically everyone I knew and their fucking mother was here, but from Ferrari alone. This was the season they planned to solidify Charles and I next to Red Bull. They'd been secretive about their car, their plans, and whatever, just to hopefully psyche out the other teams.

Personally, I just wanted to win for myself, but thats a whole other story.

When I walk in the race, cameras are on me faster than I can say my name, thousands of eyes watching the only rookie this season as she makes her way into her paddock. Inside the paddock is no better, and the garage can't even be a safe haven as reporters walking the pit lane try to get video of me and Charles greeting eachother.

He's like a bright red beacon of safety admist the chaos of this morning. He hands me a coffee, says it's supposed to be some sort of weird chai thing. It tastes... like slightly more bitter and heavily espresso filled chai. But I drink it anyway because lord knows I need the energy.

"You look stressed, is it the race?" Charles asks after our debriefing, when I'm working on reaction times. I keep working at whacking the buttons, eyes trained on the center as I also work my periphery.

"I think so." I say, uninterested, and Charles purposefully messes up the game so I look at him with a loud exclamation. He grins, and I get now why Arthur had punched Charles in the arm as a greeting once. He looks like a cat that knows it's done something wrong, but smugly doesn't care. Like my aunt's big brown cat named Porsche.

They'd bought her a 'Porsche' for her birthday that year. Haha.

"What's it actually?" Charles asks when I catch my breath a little, taking a big gulp of water and then sipping on the coffee-chai-thing.

"I talked to Logan after we left the resturant and I can't stop thinking about it." I set down the cup and go to return to the game before Charles grabs my wrist and pulls me back.

"Do you wanna talk about it before the race? Maybe get it out of your system so it doesn't affect you while driving?"

"You're talking like you speak from experience."

"Maybe I do." He hums and I huff through my nose, before grabbing both of my drinks when he nods his head back to his drivers room. Probably the only place here we could get privacy. He pops me down on his couch and sits next to me, motioning for me to talk.

I stammer a bit before sighing, “Logan still thinks it’s my fault. He still thinks I had something to do with the accident. And I’m a fucking idiot because I still love him.”

Charles’ eyes widen as I lean forward and huff, rubbing my forehead as I keep talking, “I still love him after three years. And he doesn’t love me back and that hurts but I can’t do anything about it.”

"you still love him?" He asks and I nod, and then hitch forward with a sharp gasp. It's like saying the words out loud have thrown every possible emotion in my face. Anger at him for breaking up, regret for not chasing him, a deep sorrow for the things we'd lost. He had been my first love, something so innocent. I didn't know how I was supposed to live without him.

"I do," I whisper through the lump in my throat, "I love him, but I can't even look at him without feeling sick."

For once with all the issues I've come to tell Charles about, this is one that stumps him. But he wraps an arm around me, pulling him to his side as he rubs his hand along my back and I curl into his touch. I don't exactly cry, but I more so just hyperventilate.

And it takes maybe ten minutes for me to calm down fully and when I do, Charles squeezes my hands.

"No matter what happens, I've got you." He says softly, "just like at dinner, I've got you."

I nod and he hands me a tissue, I fix up my makeup and stand, letting him escort me back out to the garage so we can go get out fireproofs and race suits.

The sun is long set when we start the race, the warm up lap making my nerves spark as my fingers twitch on the steering wheel. I knew Bahrain's track like the backs of my hands, I knew exactly what to expect and what to do and where to go. Starting p8 wasn't terrible, I would've preferred to be higher but I'll take what I can get. In front of me is Yuki, Carlos, Daniel, Charles, Oscar, Lando, and Max. With Logan directly behind me and Alex behind him.

I'm not super worried about Alex, but Logan had a pretty similar driving style to me so I worry about him coming and overtaking me. I know I can overtake Yuki, Carlos, and Daniel if I give myself time and risk going wide when it comes to Carlos, but Lando, Oscar and Max will be my biggest competition. Though I'm not sure about Charles, I guess it depends on what we're told on the radio.

Within the first five laps, I've gotten past Yuki and Carlos, but Daniel's giving me a run for my money. Charles even tries helping, but it's no use, and I take my place behind Daniel for the foreseeable future. I don't mind it, holding P6 at the beginning isn't the worst scenario. I just have to wait until people starting going in for tire changes and such, hopefully I'll be able to use that to get around.

Eventually, Daniel understeers and it gives me a perfect opportunity to whip around him and I solidify myself in P5. Oscar's ahead of me, Lando ahead of him, Charles in P2 and then Max holds P1. Charles is fighting him for it and I'm impressed with how we're doing so far.

At some point Logan comes up behind me, I'm only alerted via the radio for half a second before I see him try and push me to the edge of the track. I speed up, purposefully oversteering the turn to knock him off my back.

By the end of the race, I find myself P3 by a goddamn thread. Lando having wing damage making it easier for me to snag around him in one of the last turns. Charles isn't far ahead of me, and Max holds his P1 usual. Lando's P4, Oscar P5, and Logan P6. Everyone else is pretty much scrambled, almost all the racers overtaking someone multiple times throughout the race.

I can't really feel anything under the thrum of my excitement, Charles coming up behind me and lifting me off the ground in celebration as Max laughs from a distance. We're making our way to the stage for the podium, helmets off and a hat secured over my head to block out the sun and my post-race helmet hair.

"Lets go! 'Ishka!" Charles jumps and I laugh, whacking him on the head as he hoists me in the air.

"Congrats, kid." Max grabs the brim of my hat and yanks it down, making me yelp in surprise as Charles sets me down. I fix the brim of my hat while Charles laughs, trying to help me yank down Max's hat too before I'm called to walk up on stage.

The roar of the audience is deafening, the announcement a warble as I take the trophy with a thank you and shook the hand of the woman who gave it to me. I lift it above my head, the noise only growing, and I can't help the satisfied shout that leaves my throat in celebration.

Dipping back into the paddock, I see Logan being ushered away from me by Alex. Even though the sight of him makes my throat close and stomach drop, I try to keep my head up. I try to not let it affect me, but I know it does.

I told Logan the truth. I let him him go because he wanted to go. Nothing Logan did now would change the way my heart ached for him. In F2 I learned quickly to shove my emotions down and never let them escape me, and when I wasn't in the safety of Charles' company, I felt like I had fallen back into that same routine again.

Cold, sharper than a tack, everything rolled right off. I bit my tongue when necessary, fought back only when provoked.

It was nothing like how I had been before Trident. That much was known. But I wasn't about to be used again. Never again.

A few hours later, we're at the hotel Charles is staying in, him laying face first on his bed while I fix up my makeup in a mirror for the upteenth time. Another night out is in order to celebrate the season kickoff, Max inviting Charles and I along with him, Daniel, and Carlos to some sort club I've been to a hundred times already.

Once I've used Charles' bathroom to change into my clothes for the night, I'm wrapping a large Ferrari jacket around myself to be a bit more 'presentable' until we get to the club. I lean into the mirror to check and secure all my jewlery before I make my way out of the bathroom.

Charles looks up from where he's sitting in one of the chairs in the hotel room, his eyes doing a quick once over before he grins and stands up. He's wearing some jeans and a loose black button-up, a gold necklace swinging before settling against his collarbones as he makes his way to my side.

"Revenge dress?" He muses to me with a smirk and I whack his arm with a loud laugh, shaking my head as I walk to grab my purse off the coffee table.

"It wasn't intended to be, but sure." I grin as I take a sip from my wine glass on the table, eyeing the now empty bottle we were using to loosely pregame the night, "Glad to see you've gotten a bit of fashion advice, the polo looks good. If Max is wearing anything Red Bull I'll choke him out."

"I'll help you." Charles laughed and hands me his wallet. I pop it in my purse without thinking, I know it's so I don't run off without him, and I pretend to be annoyed. But the action is sweet.

"We have a little private room with some of the other drivers," Charles grabs our phones off the charges and hands me mine as he pockets his, fixes his hair in some sort of habit, and then looks back to me as he grabs the handle of the door, "So, you can leave your stuff there until we leave."

"Sounds good to me." I follow him out the door, my heels clicking on the tile on the hallway as we move down to where the carpet starts. Charles turns back to me as he walks, watching me dig out my car keys. When I lift my eyes to meet him he scratches his jaw and then speaks.

"Logan's gonna be there. That's fine with you?" Charles asks. I had told him in the garage this morning about my argument with Logan. It had been eating at me, and Charles being ever the observant picked up on my shift in attitude before I did.

"I probably won't even see him, this club is always packed." I reason, even with the private room. I'd spend most of my time at the bar. If I was with my friends, also the dancefloor, but I had a suspicion I wouldn't be doing much dancing tonight.

"You sure?" Charles holds the elevator door open for me, letting me step in and press the button for the lobby. I nod, adjusting my outfit a little bit as I look over at him.

"It's fine, I'm over it." I shrug, looking at myself in the mirrored doors of the elevator and fixing up my hair loosely. I can feel the elevator slowly start to lower and I grin at myself.

Maybe it was the confidence from my win, but I looked good tonight.

"You cried over him this morning and now you're saying you're over it?" Charles hums, thinking back clearly to me frustrated for no reason this morning and his intervention with led to me half-hyperventilating into his chest.

"I got P3 in my first F1 race, Charles. No one can touch me. I'm hot, sexy, and breaking the Ferrari curse." I playfully do a little z-snap that has Charles chuckling as the doors open to the lobby and he brings me out to an awaiting car. This was something else I would never get used to, how we all just kinda casually had luxury vehicles. Now, my parents were well off, my father a CEO and my mother a tailor, and they had plenty of money to give to me and my sister if we needed it. But it hadn't always been that way. So the Ferrari just idling outside the hotel, clearly brought over by Ferrari for Charles and I to drive like once this whole weekend is a shock to me.

He lets me in the back, then gets in the passengers, instructing the driver on where to go while I lean back with a content sigh and watch the streetlights pass.

dhanishkadubey made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, charlesleclerc, and 254k others...

dhanishkadubey: kicking off the start of a wonderful szn. much love to the tifosi 🏎️ ❤️ (📷: @ charlesleclerc)

charlesleclerc: ❤️

danielricciardo: this bitch drinks fireball like water.

dhanishkadubey: ur rlly exposing me like this danny :(?

user1: congrats on p3!!!

oscarpiastri: go dhanishka go !!

user2: tensions rising in the loscar fandom tn

maxverstappen: great start to your rookie year, dhanishka :)

anyadubey: YAAA THATS MY SEXY SISTER!!!

user3: actually in love w her.

When we arrive at the club, the place is already going hard. Early 2000s music pulses from various speakers, the lights flashing to the beat of who I think is Britney Spears mixed with that one song from Saltburn. It's Daniel who greets us in the upstairs room, showing me where to leave my bag and jacket while Charles is escorted off to the side by Pierre and Max. I spot Esteban and Lance chatting idly with Magnussen and some other racers. It's odd combinations tonight, as the grouping strays from the normal clumps of friends, but it means I find myself engrossed in a conversation with Alex and George maybe thirty minutes after getting inside.

"I seriously thought you were gonna be much meaner!" George shouts over the pulsing music and I laugh as he hands me my drink from the bartender. I thank him softly and take a big sip, nodding at the sour taste im expecting from the cocktail.

Catching George's eye, I tease, "Do you want me to be?"

"God no," George waves a hand in my direction with a soft laugh, something playful and almost childlike gleaming in his eyes as he tilts his head, "Carmen's plenty mean to me."

"Oh stop!" Alex scoffs, whacking George's arm, "As if Carmen's little jabs equate to Lily's!"

"Didn't you literally call Lily the doll from Squid Game?" I ask, then pop my straw in my mouth and take a slow sip. Alex freezes as if he's been caught red handed, and George suppresses a giggle.

"Look..." Alex holds up a hand in defense but George and I are laughing too hard to really hear whatever excuse he uses to defend his actions.

"Okay, can I ask you a question, Dhanishka?" Alex asks after we've calmed down, leaning forward on the bar as I settle in my seat with George on my other side. I nod and he swallows and I can see him roll the question through his head. He takes a sip of his drink, swallows, and turns to ask, "If you wanna answer, what exactly happened with you and Logan? 'Cause he's been moping since you got announced to be racing with Ferrari and I might lose my mind if he doesn't knock it off."

"Oh god," I say into my midori sour, taking the bitter drink into my mouth and swallowing it and setting my hand over the cup. George leans over to look, head slightly tilted like a puppy as Alex quickly speaks up.

"If you don't wanna say anything, it's fine, but--"

"--No, no. It's fine Alex," I wave a hand, "uhm, Logan and I started dating when we were racing in Renault, but we'd been kinda... I guess flirty since the end of our formative years and into like secondary school. We were... I was fifteen, so he was seventeen or sixteen at the time? It was just like... puppy love, y'know? Pure and innocent, nothing too serious.

"And, we were both in love and it was nice. It really was nice. But, when that crash happened with Trident, I think something snapped in him. I... the breakup... it came from nowhere. I don't know if it was because he was mad, thinking I had something to do with it, or if he just... didn't know what to do and needed control after Trident took that P2 position from him? I don't know. We hadn't spoken since that day until last night."

"You talked to him last night?" Alex asks with slightly wide eyes and I nod, taking another sip of my drink.

"We argued about it last night while waiting to leave." I sigh, rolling my shoulders as I pop the straw between my lips and take a long slow sip, then speak, "He thought I had something to do with the crash, I told him I didn't, he asked me why I let him leave--which, Alex, feel free to tell him I think that's a dumb fucking question. I wasn't gonna force him to stay if he was unhappy, or if he didn't wanna date anymore. I'm not a monster."

"Wait, wait," George waves a hand to grab my attention and I turn to him with a soft hum, "So is he mad at you?"

"I don't know," I finish off my drink, noticing both George and Alex are not even halfway down their respective drinks, "I can't tell with him. I would completely understand if he was furious about everything, but none of it was my fault. I didn't even know Trident planned to crash into him!"

"I'm gonna try talking to him," Alex looks over at someone to the right of me and I don't have to look to know he means Logan's there. I nod, sip my drink, and excuse myself to go back to the room. George escorts me up there, to make sure I'm fine, and then leaves me to Daniel who grins.

"You've had something to drink, right?" He asks and I nod, but happily join him and Lando at the bar for shots of various alcohols. And I end up drinking a few glasses of soju back to back with Max at one point, introducing him and Checo to different flavors while Daniel laughs at Max's shock over how everything just tastes like a slightly sour juice. I'm finishing my fourth glass of soju when I start to feel woozy. Taking a water from the bartender, I count the drinks I've had in my head and roughly equate them to about a handle of alcohol.

Lando orders a final round of shots for us, Fireball burning down my throat.

"Danny!" I call to the Australian, who turns in a full circle before realizing wher eI am. He nods and steps closer so I don't have to shout.

"The bathrooms right there," I point to a hallway and Daniel nods, "Can you grab my stuff and I'll meet you guys by the door?"

"Yeah, just be quick! Text me if you need anything." He squeezes my wrist and I nod, slipping away and down the stairs that lead tot he dark bathrooms. Once I'm done, I step out into the hall looking down at my phone when I slip on water pooled by the door. Or what I hope is water.

A hand juts out, catching me by the waist and tugging me forward so I'm no longer falling backwards. The firm hand is familiar, and when I glance up to thank the man who caught me I make eye contact with Logan. I resist the urge to make some rude comment and thank him softly instead.

"Are you gonna tell everyone about us dating?" He asks instead and I scoff.

"Are you gonna start a fight every time I see you?" I rebuke, and then shrug, "Alex and George asked. And if I said no, they could just look it up. I didn't say any apecifics, just the bulk."

Logan looks a little relieved at that, almost like he was nervous about their reactions if they knew every little thing that we'd done. Truth be told, puppy love was the best way to describe us back then. Stolen chaste kisses, giddy smiles when holding hands, little meaningful gifts, late night texts that led to sleepy smiles the next day. I was sure he'd had something more... mature after he'd broken it off. I had rationalized in my head that was why he broke it off. I'd never know the real reason, I wasn't going to ask.

"You..." Logan finally lets go of my waist, and in the low light I see his eyes sweep over me with a look I want to decipher. I've lost the key to his brain, and I know I won't be finding it any time soon.

"You look as beautiful as the day I left you, more so now... but," He laughs, shaking his head, "Sorry, I had too much to drink. I shouldn't."

"You shouldn't." I agree, but a tiny smile curls at my lips, "But thank you."

Logan looks at me for a long moment and I return the gaze, our eyes spelling out stories of his hands carding through my hair, laying on a blanket on the roof of his London apartment and listening to music in shared earbuds, us cheering on Oscar when he'd asked Lily out and celebrating with him after.

He was so much of my past, and somehow I found that I wished he could fit into my future.

"Can I ask one thing?" Logan says, the music pulsing above us louder now, making his voice get swallowed by the music. I step closer to hear him as I nod, throat dry as trepidation rolls across my skin, his lips part, and it takes a second for him to ask, "Can we not fight? I don't think I can ever see you look angry at me again, I've been replaying our argument outside the restaurant for days now.

"I don't wanna leave our past behind us and move on," He continues when I gape at him, "I loved you back then, maybe I still do now or maybe its the fact I'm so drunk the world is spinning, but you were such a big piece of my life. I've known you since we were kids, Dhanishka I can't let go of you now that I've got you back."

His heart is being held out for me, hands shaking as he stares at me, and I just stare back. Just friends, I tell myself. That's all we'll be.

"You know," I start, and I can feel its my heart and blood alcohol content leading the conversation and not my brain, "I do think I still love you--or maybe its the fact I'm just as drunk as you are, if not worse. You made my life, you made me who I am, from the stupid jokes to the little kisses behind our garages, or sneaking into eachother drivers rooms to nap..."

I swallow my pride, "I won't let go of you this time."

He grins and on wobbly legs he takes me into a hug, I let his arms wrap around my waist, hands warm against my skin as I throw my arms around his neck. The stairs squeak behind us, and we step back, but I don't see anyone come down. When I turn back to him, I find he's still looking, and as the music shakes the walls and rolls into my skin, I find one of my hands cupping his jaw. His breath cuts short, lips parting as his tongue darts out.

It's so dumb how easily I fall back in love with Logan Sargeant.

He dips down before I can think to pull back, slotting his lips against mine, and I welcome it. His grip on me tightens as he tugs me back in, bunching fabric under his fingernails as he gasps when I nip his lip.

"We shouldn't do this." He gasps between a kiss he drives, only to be cut off by me stepping closer to keep our lips dancing. He turns us, pressing my shoulders to a wall, cornering me underneath him, and I bite back a whine in the back of my throat.

"We shouldn't," I agree, and gasp when he moves closer, his hands sliding down to guide my hips towards him as his knee knocks mine apart. He steps one foot between mine, leaning into me, and I can't help the whine he forces out of my lips this time. And when I see his satisfied grin, I can't help the tiny bashful smile that pokes at my own lips.

"You're an asshole." I breathe against his lips, the club pulses above us, footsteps creaking on the stairs, but in that moment we dont feel the pull of the crowd singing and dancing. His hands grip my waist through the thin fabric of my black dress, pulling me in, and I feel everything. His chest hits mine with his sharp breath in, our eyes finding each other and holding a gaze I feel as bitter as the tequila in my stomach.

"I know," He pulls me in by wrapping his arm around my waist, hand finding my jaw and tugging me impossibly closer. Our lips meet again, all heat and fervor and my hands find the back of his head, knocking our teeth when I tug him in after he breaks the kiss.

22R stains his lips and I see it on his teeth when he grins, memories flicker through my eyes. He tastes like expensive whiskey and rum, a hint of shitty bottled beer taps my tonsils when I swallow. He tastes like everything I should run from and yet, I crave more.

"Dhanishka!" Charles calls for me somewhere in the club, voice loud against the music, and I step back. Reaching out to grab my wrist, Logan pulls me in once more, his thumb runs along my lower lip, fixing the smudged lipstick in the dark, dingy bathroom hall. I don't know what to say, I don't know if this is a moment where I'm even supposed to say anything.

"Danny!" Daniel shouts, coming to the hall of the bathroom and I push Logan back into the men's room and slam the door shut before he can say anything.

"There you are!" Charles calls and I wave, turning to them.

"Sorry," I giggle, the warmth of the kiss on my face as I feel the ghosts of Logan's hands on my skin, "I think I had a little too much."

"So did Max," Daniel snorts, flicking on his phone flashlight so I can properly see the stairs as I make my way over to where they stand halfway down them. I hear the men's room door creak and turn back to catch Logan's eye as Charles grabs my wrist and carts me upstairs.

We share a tiny grin between us, charged by drunken decisions, it's our moment. No one else sees. Or if they do, they don't say a word But Charles' grip on my wrist tightens, and I have an odd feeling we might not have been as alone as we thought we were in that hallway.

taglist (thank you!)

@chasing-liberosis @justsomejess @struggling-with-delia

[deadeyeedangel]

trial run - moira o'deorain x intern!reader

˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ hi ! it's my wife's birthday today, so naturally i thought i'd finally get around to those hcs i was planning on writing! these posts will probably never be formatted with those pretty little headers i see around and i'm pretty unapologetic about it, i can't lie i kiiiinda care a lot less about the presentation and more about the actual writing and i'm a pretty busy person, soooo... sorry i guess? anyway sorry for yapping and i hope you all enjoy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOCTOR O'DEORAIN!!!

˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ TAGS: sfw, reader was meant to be fem but tbh no gendered terms are really used so reader can be seen as gender-neutral, age difference (reader is implied to be a doctoral student in early 20s), canon-divergent/au because i'm projecting my own internship problems here i cannot help it, moira being moira but it's way tamer than usual, actually kinda really fluffy i needed some comfort oops, mayyy make a part 2 with the date if you guys reeeeally want it :p

✧˚ · . suffice to say she wasn't a fan on your first day- to be honest she wasn't a fan even before then. the doctor preferred to work in solitude and silence, and hearing that she would have to practically babysit a doctoral student for a whole summer? forget it.

✧˚ · . she very begrudgingly opened up to the idea of having a shadow, however, after she found out her lab would be receiving more funding as a result of the research you were being hired to do. unfortunately that still didn't mean she liked you, though.

✧˚ · . you were young, fresh-faced and naïve, and when you shuffled in through the doors to her lab you were met with a cold presence that you didn't necessarily care for at all. it was what you were expecting when you were told who you would be working with, though, so it didn't come as a surprise. after all, no matter how much better you thought you would fare working alongside your sweet professor dr. ziegler, there was only one in the facility that could find even some use in a bioinformatics student.

✧˚ · . you barely had a moment to introduce yourself before the lanky irishwoman waved off your extended hand.

"wasting time will get you nowhere. unless you wish to bring me my coffee and just sit there every day, make yourself actually useful."

you were silent after that, doing exactly as she said and leaving her alone. no words were exchanged for the rest of the day.

✧˚ · . your first week was pretty unremarkable, but you were easing into the schedule you had made, making a small dent in the large workload you had to do for your thesis. moira was always just moira, working silently in her own corner of the lab and occasionally taking a break to examine your own work but saying nothing at all. by week two, however, the silence was beginning to drive you insane.

✧˚ · . your first real conversation was initiated, surprisingly, by moira. the older woman was hovering over your shoulder as usual, examining your catalogs of the dna structures and compositions of the various modified rabbits she kept in the lab, and she decided to snarkily point out you had missed a section. expecting that to be the only thing she had to say, you sighed and corrected it before moving on but she kept speaking, pointing out areas that you missed in a tone that you could only describe as pointed and patronizing.

✧˚ · . in certain... other situations, you'd find being talked to in this manner by a quite attractive older woman to be much more pleasant, but this was your hard work she was critiquing.

✧˚ · . don't worry, though, it's her love language. she might not say it but she wants you to succeed.

✧˚ · . expect more conversations about your work and hers. you begin to speak more in the mornings when you first walked in, and at nights when you left.

✧˚ · . as the days went by and your final deadline for your thesis was approaching quicker and quicker, you ended up spending nearly all 24 hours of each day in the lab, and of course, moira had noticed.

✧˚ · . she leaves small things out for you that she'd usually leave for just herself: two mugs of coffee now, two plates with some small meals, two shot glasses in case things got rather dire... but don't ask her about them, she'll shut down that it was her doing quite quickly.

✧˚ · . one very early morning she returns from the bathroom to find you slumped over your desk, fast asleep. your face was smushed against your keyboard, keying in a constant and ever-growing string of the letter h into your catalog. if you ever found out and asked, she would have simply said she didn't want the data to be messed up. however, that was most certainly not the case as she gingerly lifted your head up carefully to delete the keyboard smash, saving your work and turning off your computer before leaving you back to your rest.

✧˚ · . she was back at her work for a good five minutes before she decides to take her lab coat off, draping it over your still-sleeping form like a makeshift blanket. you woke up that morning confused but grateful, with a slightly flushed doctor o'deorain saying she simply didn't want you to get sick, as it was cold in the lab anyway.

✧˚ · . your thesis was due the day before your last day of work, and moira was quieter than usual. you've been stressed and working dilligently all day, but when you finally submit it right before the clock struck midnight, moira got up from her side of the lab, and retrieved two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

✧˚ · . you never thought she'd be the type to celebrate this sort of thing, especially when it took her away from her work, but when she motioned you to come over, you couldn't help but listen.

✧˚ · . clinking your glasses together, moira congratulated you on your work, and over the alcohol, conversation brewed quickly. you spoke of your plans for the future, your research, her research, discussion flowing for hours, as if it were meant to be. a well-received moment of relaxation for the doctor, you assumed, surprised she'd spend it with you rather than alone.

✧˚ · . she never got the chance to ask if perhaps the two of you could see each other... outside of the lab, maybe for dinner or a coffee. a trial run if anything, she said.

✧˚ · . or- well, she didn't really say it. angela came up to you after a class and told you on her behalf. nerd with a crush doing nerd with a crush things, i guess.

[autisticlee]

ah. do you ever realize life/the universe loves pulling crazy pranks on you.

when I was a kid, the only birthday party I remember having, where I was old enough to remember I guess, I was 4 or 5 and some extended family came over. I didnt have friends so it was just a few cousins and grandparents and whatnot. I was sick like I was every winter (and the entire time I was in school tbh) so I just wanted to sleep. I slept through my whole bday party and woke up to everyone gone.

I tried to have a bday party when I was somewhere around 10-12 (can't remember what year now) and invited classmates and people I considered friends. my parents prepared my party and made cake and food and we decorated and everything. hours passed and no one showed up. I called and none of them were home. turns out the "friends" skipped my party and hung out together and I got made fun of for that.

so for my 30th bday, I wanted to do something. I had one friend from another country come visit and found an anime con for us to travel to. we needed to split the cost with others and I don't really have other friends so she invited her friends. only 2 were able to go, but the whole thing went from being my bday party to more of my friend getting to gang out with her friends, so it wasnt even really for my bday for anyone else. just me.

in the end, I got sick the day after my friend got here. I am still sick over a month later. the worst of it was while we were at the con, which was my birthday weekend where I pretend i'm having a big bday party with a few friends. but nothing went to plan. I didn't even get to go to the con. I stayed sick at the hotel coughing until I threw up every day all day. things not going to plan led to everyone getting mad at me and arguing with me because I had to cancel one of our other plans because I was too sick and by that point i had infected everyone else. that led to 3 people being at my house and my family throwing a fit because they only approved of one so I was sick and getting screamed at for the week they were there until they finally went home, and even screamed at after, because I could not convince anyone to do what I asked them to do (like take a bus home tomorrow, not 5 days from now) and what my parents screamed at me to make them do (taking thr bus home tomorrow, not wait 5 days to take the train instead). I dont even remember most of the first 3 weeks my friend was here and didn't get to enjoy it because we were both too sick. and etc. everything went wrong, but that's not the point of this post. i'm getting off topic.

anyway, the universe and life played a cruel joke on me by taking my childhood memories of failed bdays and making this one big bday plan I had (probably the last time i'd try to make bday plans ever since they always failed all these years) and I had the attention taken off my bday and put on my friend because her friends wanted to see her while she visited me, I didn't yet to spend as much time with her as I had wanted to because everyone else wanted to and took up at least 2 of those weeks, AND I got so sick I basically missed my party (the con I planned to go to specifically as a bday party for myself) and don't remember 3 of the 4 weeks my friend visited as a bday gift basically.

there was no warning or preventing getting sick. I wasn't around anyone sick. I hadn't left my house besides to go to work, where I work alone, for at least a month. it hit suddenly without warning. I actually at first thought it was just my allergy to super glue I was using the night before. it's like a telephoned back to 4 or 5 year old me being so sick I slept through my last ever childhood bday party. I never had another one after that except that one where no one showed up. the universe has truly cursed my birthday. i'm not allowed to celebrate it, apparently.

[smallangstdemon]

6, 16, 21 and 46 for the ask game!

6. Do you prefer writing or drawing?

Contrary to popular belief and to the amount of time I spend on each, I largely prefer writing over drawing. I think it comes to three facts. 1. When you look at a drawing, mistakes are way more obvious than when you look at writing and I also generally more easily how to fix a mistake in writing than in drawing. 2. What I prefer when creating is to tell a story, and so far I'm quite unable to do so by drawing (although the main reason I work so much on drawing is to be able to do so). 3. I'm studying literature, which means that I spend, like, at the very least 10h a week studying other writers, which is a very efficient way to improve; a thing I can't exactly do with drawing, since I don't go to art school. So when I write, especially after studying literature so much, I know what I'm doing, whereas I'm kinda a fly when it comes to drawing (one day I'll learn composition I swear)

16. Want any tattoos? What of?

Tattoos!! I'm kinda conflicted on this one. On one hand I'm kind of a butterfly and generally grow bored of things and getting bored of something you can't remove is... well. And also, I'm not fan-fan of how they age. On the other hand, tattoos are hella cool, and it's a tat cliché but you have one life? Either way, I think if I get a tattoo it's going to be when I'm at least 25 because apparently it's when brain stabilizes (maybe it's false but either way, I'm so not the type of rush things 😭).

About the content, I'm not sure either. It'd be certainly a manga thing, either from FMA, D.Gray-Man, Naruto or MHA; or for no manga: Marvel. I think I won't put any colour because that's what age the less well and it won't be too big. More generally, anything cute like a little ghost. Also, I think at some point I'll cave and have a tattoo of Le Cid by Corneille, but I don't know which quote yet.

21. How was your day today?

Wrote the answers in two days so I'm going to answer about them both 😭

Yestersay/Saturday: so great tbh I had my usual 6h exam in the morning and today's subject was french and I??? Liked doing it??? Which is really surprising because I'm not a fan of french literature usually. I think it's because last time I had a banger note at my french exam so I came in very confident. Plus, french exam is generally about dissing someone famous for 6h and :> I think I'll be less happy when the note comes but tbh I did great. Then we celebrated my father's birthday!!

Sunday/Today: Tbh Sundays are always the worse for me, if you have to know one (1) thing about me is that I fucking hate sundays. Because they're usually the only day where I don't have to wake up at 7 am so I don't put alarm which makes me wake up too late to properly work; and then I generally take a big nap in the afternoon and all in all it's a day I generally pack up with plans but end up doing nothing because too tired 🥲

46. What do you need when you're sad?

To be left alone, at least irl. Like, if it's about something specific, I'd probably vent ivl to someone (generally you dozjd8dh) but since I'm generally sad about nothing specific, I prefer to be left all alone and cry, like cry my eyes while listening to emotional/sad music and writing. What appeases really is the writing part I believe (another reason why I prefer writing over drawing blbl)

Ask game

[ddeonudepressions]

get to know me game!

tagged by: @dearhee 🙏 💕

no pressure tags!! @redm4ri @haknom @blossomnct @sunoksunny @delcakoo @taejays @hannikz @mazeinthemiroh @soov and anyone else who wants ofc!!

birthday: oct 3rd skz chan is my bday twin and loml 🙏 (fr i miss him sm 🙁)

favourite colour: sage green but i really like all colors if they don't blind me 💀

do you have pets? no 💔 i used to have a parrot but we gave him away 😭😭

how tall are you? um i will get bullied but im 5'4 last time i checked 💀

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

like....4-5?? idk i haven't bought any in a while

favourite song: ditto, devil by the window, mixed up, attention please, opening sequence, muddy water, all in, beside you, and many more just stalk my Spotify to know 💔

favourite movie: train to busan 😭😭

who would be your ideal partner?

hmm.... idk tbh but probably someone who's like me but no yk? i really like the familiarity but ik i wouldn't handle another me💀 maybe someone like beomgyu yk or junhan or jay or hongjoong or hyunjin or seungmin. i think me and hongjoong r soulmates fr we would be are happily married ❤️.

do you want children? tbh yes? kinda? i think it would be nice but idk i dont mind it.

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

no I am a good child come on now

what colour socks are you wearing? blue and black

favourite type of music: all of it i will listen amd vibe to everything fr. i wouldn't say i hate a song yk id say i wouldn't look it up but if it was playing ill do a lil dancey dance

how many pillows do you sleep with? 2 and 2 tiny plushies and 1 decorative one

what position do you sleep in? idk what it's called but i basically become a tiny ball of sleep and drown in the covers 💀

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping: probably when someone wakes me up when i just started to drift off. like?!??? helour leave me alone??!?? and probably when my feet r too cold the rest of my body.

what do you have for breakfast: depends sometimes a savor yomy sandwich sometimes a sweet yomy cereal. sometimes black coffee sometimes a latte sometimes a cup of tea of u will.

have you ever tried archery? once at gym hurt myself bad didn't like it 👎👎

favourite fruit: strawberries apples and oranges (i miss eating oranges 💔)

are you a good liar? not to self diagnose but i might be a psychological lair 😂😂🤥

what’s your personality type? it was enfp i think but ill have to redo the test soon lol.

innie or outie? im gonna say this is about being introverted or extroverted 💀💀 I am a bit of both tbh.

left handed or right handed? a leftiee

favourite food: pasta or fries 🙏

favourite foreign food: kushary idk if anyone knows it but it's Egyptian and its just 💔💔

am i clean or messy? id say clean i try to keep my surroundings tidy as i can yk

most used phrase: (all memes from Walmart enha) hello?? ayo?? huh?? oh. slayyy - fr - ong- 🙏- naurrr - NO. - die. - el oh el - kys. - el em ay oh - (person) (last negative thing they did) era - LMAO. - ok.

how long does it take for you to get ready: usually like 15-25 minutes including makeup outfit hijab and packing my handbag / bag yk

do you talk to yourself? all the time!

do you sing to yourself? if im not singing sleeping it's all i do. no family member has complained about my signing so I think it's a sign to start my career 😂😂🤘🤘

are you a good singer? i hope i am 😕 i think i have a decent voice i quite like any runs i do when signing sum LMAO 💀

biggest fear? cockroaches, confrontations and god 🙏

are you a gossip? i am THE gossip

do you like long or short hair? short hair. my hair is medium length rn but i like short hair more long hair has bad memories.

favourite school subject: I've always liked science general but idk anymore grade 9 wss brutal 💀💀

extrovert or introvert: id say both (again) cuz I enjoy talking and going out but also staying in w someone sounds so comforting

what makes you nervous: everything. my teachers. people staring too long at me. people laughing at me. (i cant tell if it's w me or at me most of the time :/)

who was your first real crush? grade 2 his name was assi i think that's how u spell it. he was also Syrian had blonde hair blue eyes and had my heart fr 💔

how many piercings? 2 one in each ear

how many tattoos? 0 (i am a minor and haram bro)

how fast can you run? i think i could run a good distance ye im not the athletic type but it's fun sometimes

what colour is your hair? chocolate brown with blonde streaks. very new look my hair was always been dark brown 💀

what colour are your eyes? brown 💔

what makes you angry: many many things having anger issues every little thing annoys me. im just gonna say top 5 lol

1.people who don't listen

2.people who look down on others

3. people who r literally nothing being jealous of others and making their lives hell( who wants a story time 😂😂)

4. getting blamed for something i had nothing to do with

5. having to be the mom of the house when i am a literal child.

do you like your name? ye I've learned to accept it 💪

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

idm tbh but let just say if i have kids they both will be a mommy's girl/boy. cuz ye

what are your strengths? hm... im gonna say im honest ill tell people shit to their face no hesitation sometimes 💀. im strong?? idk. ima good manipulator 😂😂. id say im pretty understanding and comforting (at least i hope so) ig das it? idk not used to thinking about myself positively yk

what are your weaknesses? probably myself? like i do one small tiny mistake and suddenly i have no self worth, i deserve death, i mean nothing to anybody, everyone hates me snd is using me and i deserve it. and etc etc yk.

what is the colour of your bedspread? yellow 😕

colour of your room: yellow 😐 i need my own room fr

DONE THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT WAS MUCH FUN TY ELA SM FOR THIS LMAO 🙏🙏🙏💞💞❤️❤️

[megan-loves-surveys]

More and more.

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? Only a Spleens plushie from Gray Still Plays haha. It's a shame cos right after they were sent out, he stopped playing Sims 4 and dropped it altogether :/

Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk definitely.

Have you ever left a note in a library book? No.

What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. If I wait till evening I'll get lazy and just won't do it lol.

Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Definitely. The worst was some bitch at school telling everyone I was pregnant and the father was one of our teachers. I wasn't pregnant lol.

Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? Oh yeah! I've met numerous wrestlers and singers. I met Five on Tuesday night, they were lovely and the photo looks amazing. I've also met my favourite wrestler Jon Moxley 5 times, all of our photos look amazing. I also met John Cena, he's probably the most famous person I've met. He's a beautiful soul <3

If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? Maybe. I'd prob go to the USA or UK. Or maybe Australia.

Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? No.

Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? Yeah, but I knew I was tbh lol.

Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Members of girl groups like Spice Girls, Girls Aloud, Atomic Kitten, Sugababes etc.

Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? Haha no.

Who is the nicest person you know? Hard to pick!!

Do you feel safe in your country? Mostly, yeah.

Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Hmm, not sure.

Do you like marshmallows? Yes.

Have you ever fostered an animal? No.

Have you ever thrown up from cramps? Yes.

Would you ever start a vlog? No.

What are your favorite spicy foods? Curry, or spicy chips haha.

Did you feel insecure in high school? Not really.

What was your favorite class in high school? Computers/IT and Legal Studies.

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I've never been to a gynecologist, so I dunno.

What gives you nightmares? Watching or reading anything creepy right before I go to sleep.

Were you ever hospitalized as a child? Yes.

Did you get senior pictures taken? That's not a thing in my country.

Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'm not getting married.

Do you think babies are cute? Yes! I don't want kids myself, but I do think babies are especially adorable - as long as they belong to other people xD

Have you ever moved to another state? -

Can you say the alphabet backwards? I'm sure I could try.

If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? I upload live performances of concerts I go to sometimes lol.

Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? I've posted nudes on the internet, so yeah swimsuit would be fine xD

If you’re in a bad mood, would you rather be with friends or alone? Depends.

What’s the last thing you took a picture of? It's of me meeting Five, I didn't actually take the pic but it's on my phone so it counts.

Are you good at remembering birthdays? Yes.

Do you listen to podcasts? No.

Would you rather watch a movie in a theater or at home? Theatre.

Who’s the messiest person you know? Myself, lol.

Are you close with any of your exes? No.

What’s your favorite type of cheese? Colby.

Can you read sheet music? No.

Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No.

How many times in the past week have you eaten fast food? Once, last Friday, I had KFC.

Do you prefer carbonated or uncarbonated drinks? You mean like soft drink? Cos I like it, but I drink water more lol.

Favorite thing that you can see up in the sky? Blue sky xD

Friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it? No.

You fill your best friend’s Xmas stocking, what do you put in it? Lindt chocolate, a mug from Starbucks and a few giftcards.

You fill your worst enemy’s stocking, what do you put in it? I don't have enemies.

You fill your OWN stocking, what do you put in it? Giftcards for Steam & Spotify, a wrestling t-shirt and a Mox themed phone case xD

If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? Definitely! I've wanted to get a cat since before Covid, but never got around to it.

Favorite type of cracker: Any!! Just gimme crunchy.

Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Dunno.

Bagels or English muffins? English muffins.

Who is a family member you look forward to seeing on a holiday? Dunno.

Do you do anything to recognize St Patrick’s Day? I'll wear a green shirt, but that's about it haha. I have a St Patrick's Mox shirt that I'll wear this year.

Who mows the lawn at your house? We don't have a lawn, we barely even have a garden lol.

Where do you keep your phone at night? It's always right next to my pillow - it needs to be there so Pokémon Sleep can track properly.

Best Happy Meal toy you ever got: Hard to say, I had hundreds lol.

Do you like the color yellow at all? Sure.

Who sings the last song you listened to? Blue <3

Have you ever watched South Park? Who’s your favorite character? Yes, and Cartman was always hilarious. SCREW YOU GUYS I'M GOING HOME xD

What member of your family are you most similar to? In which ways? My Mum prob.

If you could have any animal as a pet, what would you have? I just want a cat.

Do you ever shop at Aldi? Do you even have one nearby? We don't have that shop in my country.

Do you enjoy rhododendrons? Dunno lol.

Have you ever met someone who supports Nazism? Not that I know of.

If you’ve ever been to another country, what was the best thing you did there? I've been to the USA numerous times, the best thing is always attending WWE shows, I've been to dozens over there.

What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? Flu in 2019, I have never felt so sick in my life.

Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? It's a cat, what do you think xD

Are you good at gardening? I don't garden, so no clue.

What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? Dunno.

Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No.

When was the last time you took your pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? -

Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? Yes.

Does your hair have natural highlights in it? No, it's dyed right now.

What was the last decision you had trouble making? What time to leave for the Five meet and greet. I had no clue what the traffic would be like lol. In the end, I made the right decision cos I got there about 15 minutes before they began letting us in.

When was the last time you wore a dress? The other day!

Do you have a water bottle sitting next to you? Yep, my litre bottle.

When was the last time you walked outside barefoot? Dunno, a few months ago?

What is one type of fruit that you’d like to try that you’ve never tried before? Dunno.

Do you have a balcony? No.

Have you ever lived alone? No.

If not, would you ever want to live alone? Hmm, maybe.

If yes, do/did you like it? -

Would you rather live alone or with someone? Depends who the person is xD

When was the last time you saw your mom? About an hour ago.

Did you read a really good book today? I haven't read any of Reach For The Stars today, so no.

Do you wish you had a swimming pool? 👙 No.

Do you ever have so much energy that it annoys you? On occasion.

What are three things you like that rhyme with June? Not sure haha.

Do you use an inhaler every day? I've never used one.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

What color shirt are you wearing? Black.

Are you wearing anything tie-dye right now? No.

Are you severely allergic to anything, and if so, what? Not severely, but a lot of stuff makes me sick or gives me migraine.

Have you been told by a doctor that you are a rare medical case? Not by a doctor but a physiotherapist I went to see after I broke my shoulder told me I was the only person who'd ever come to their practise who'd broken a bone as severely as I did (I broke it in 5 places, it completely shattered, I had to get a plate and screws put in cos it wouldn't heal on it's own).

What is one thing you hate about Prednisone (if applicable)? Dunno.

Do you have to wear a mask whenever you clean? No.

Does your phone annoy you? No, I love my phone!

Who was the last person who came to visit you? My boyfriend.

Are you listening to a good song right now? Yes, Five - That's What You Told Me <3 One of my faves from my fave album of all time.

When was the last time you wore headphones? Today at the gym I wore my Airpods while I was working out, I was watching the second hour of AEW Dynamite, and then I switched to a YouTube video after it ended.

Have you encountered anything supernatural yet today? No.

Have you ever seen a UFO? 🛸 No.

Are you an alien? 👽 Haha xD

What was the last flavor of ice cream you ate? Chocolate.

What grocery store do you shop at the most? Pak N Save, but we go to Woolworths/Countdown as well.

What is your most severe allergy (at least to your knowledge)? Antibiotics - most of the ones I've tried give me horrible diarrhea, a bad rash and migraines.

At what age did you start to feel mature (if applicable) ? Hmm.

What’s the largest library fine you’ve had? Over 20 bucks. Shameful xD

Have you ever had your hair highlighted at a salon? No, only fully dyed.

If yes, what color highlights did you get? -

Have you ever had your hair permed? No.

Do you think your hair looks better straight or curly? I used to say straight, but I think it looks better wavy now xD

…and what is it naturally? Wavy, going into curly.

Have you ever had dreadlocks? No.

Have you ever considered getting dreadlocks? No.

What is your favorite version of the Bible to read (if applicable)? None.

Are you wearing socks right now? Yes. It's not that cold, but I suffer from unusually cold feet lol.

Do you have a hair tie around your wrist right now? No.

Do you have family that you wish you could see more? Sometimes.

What was your first job? Data entry.

Are you happy with your life right now? Yes.

Have you ever had to use an epi pen? No.

Have you ever gone to the emergency room having a severe allergic reaction? No.

What was the last emoji you used? The crying laughing emoji lol.

Are you having a good day today? It's fine.

What song are you listening to right now? Five - Cold Sweat <3

[chuluoyi]

Same.... I've never spent a single cent on games, so I only can grind.. And I'm failing badly... I've grinded like 1000 s-chips in 3 days and I still need 200+ before I can do a 10-pull... YEA they've come so far... Lukerosa is so the best ship in my opinion! I love Vyn and Rosa dynamics too... Like I didn't like Vyn at the start cause he's so sussy (Vyn girlies don't come after me please) but after seeing him and Rosa rely on each other so much I feel like Marius's and Artem's relationships with Rosa are just pretty normal (Again this is my opinion so don't come after me please 😭😭)

It's about $8 for me... And woahwoahh again?! Are you like in Japan rn? And I would advise you to save your money... BUT if you don't get a Gojo coaster then spend away! Anything for the husbands 💖

YEA like I had no idea... I thought people disliked Suguru so I went into Animate all happy and shit but I guess I was wrong... Cause where I'm from everyone hates Suguru I'm just that one crazy fangirl AHHAH- And I share your sentiments... I think I just dislike that group of Kenjaku homies... I'm not wrong tho??!? Volcano man has ONE eye and is BLUE SKINNED but he gets all that the girlies desire 🥲🥲

HUH VENTI TOO 😭😭😭 Okay I probably would've done that too if I HAD Venti... But I lost 50/50 to Qiqi in all of his banners... But FR Genshin is so... Money leeching.... I have so many friends who want to quit but can't cause they already spent so much...

AHAHAHAH RIGHT WRIO SUPREMACYYY!! And it's always the men ahhahah!! I started cause of Diluc and Ayato omg... I only stayed till Sumeru cause of Alhaitham.... yes, I agree... These men are probably too... too holy? Throughout Heaven and the Earth, they are the honoured ones... 🥲🥲

hehehe it's really nothing!! 😍😍

And 'once' ..? You sure about that babe...

Also NO I have not seen the newest ep... I stopped for like 4 weeks cause I knew Nanami's end was coming... But guess what I was spoiled on Instagram anyway... Nobara is so precious like tf she's just 16 Mahito leave her tf alone!! Yuji too! Like he already killed Nanami in front of him... And he had to bring Nobara there too... He's despicable like please stop 😭😭😭 Leave our babies alone!

P.s. Chu I really enjoy talking with you omg like you're probably the only writer on Tumblr that I've interacted so much with!! Love you!!!

-🪩

HOW did you grind 1000 s chips in three days?!😭 disco anon i barely could grind 100 daily so how sskskks you must teach me😩

actually i agree with you!!🥹 in my personal opinion, it’s their chemistry due to the childhood friends trope that makes things already intimate between the two of them. ahh, i’m still not used to vyn i’m sorry🥲 partially bcs of the sus part HAHAHA

for me it’s luke - marius - artem - vyn 🥹 but i’m not saying vyn is bad! i actually love his birthday cards and the main story in the cruise ship! it’s just i’m not used to his calm persona HAHAHA marius is a big baby so he is dear to me and artem is the epitome of man every mother wants for their daughter so i go for him to delude myself into having the perfect man☺️

omg why?! suguru is so precious he didn’t deserve the ptsd imposed by the jujutsu world *sigh* VOLCANO MAN PLSSS😭😭😭😭 it’s so funny ahahahhaha

venti is not as useful ever since kazuha is released imo🥲 it’s just his burst skill is fun and you can fly. tbh i pulled for him just because he’s cute and anyway why do we pull for genshin men at all? not bcs of their usefulness, certainly. it’s just they’re so easy in our eyes😩😩🫶🏻

i agree!!🤧 like well everything is pricey, and the rate off possibility is just too much sometimes🥹

too holy lmao🥹🥹🥹 i think i’m logging in genshin again just to see my luck and primo… i honestly forget if i still have any left or not…

…sure. i’m totally sure. pls pray for me to be sure 💀

HAAHHHA there are many of my friends who haven’t even started the 2nd season at all bcs they already know what’s coming😭 but yes it’s so painful like nothing good comes in this season *sigh*

hshshsjjs i enjoy talking to you too disco anon!!🥹🫶🏻 thank you for stopping by omg i’m always happy to answer asks and i’m glad i’ve found kind friends in this hellsite because tbh i’m a bit spooked by several discourses i’ve seen in this fandom🥲 like pls i don’t ever want to be involved in any of that😭

love you too!!!✨

[6afurah]

On the future

So today ismail's vinyl came in. I'm going to hop over to amcorp on the weekends to see if i can find a good turntable for cheap. I think it'll be a nice gift ( also i kinda want one for myself and im sure he'll let me use it too lol ) The vinyl i got him even comes with a poster i am 100% he'll love it.

But on the topic of his birthday next week,

it's really got me thinking a bunch,

I honestly know he loves me and all that. Without a doubt, in terms of love u know. but i don't know, something feels off, aside from the love thing. could just be me being idk you know paranoid me. Yesterday we discussed about what music we wanna make, and started a playlist for it too.

he's really great, i honestly just feel less alone with this person because we love and want the same things, i've honestly never felt that way about anyone before like that, ive loved other people but i dont think ive really felt what it is im feeling for ismail.

i don't know, maybe it was just the whole marriage thing, He was supposed to marry salma and she's getting engaged, He also met someone else after me, but it didnt work out bcs apparently something something tak sama vision la entah aku pun tak tahu lmfao

I guess it just

annoys me i'm not a girlfriend yet, and even when i am a girlfriend,

why do i get the feeling that this person has no want to marry me at all. He probably doesnt, and i guess it makes sense since we're only on good terms now, 3/4 months

but we've known eachother for a while now, this all doesn't bother me that much to be honest, its just upsetting how my parents don't like him anymore n his parents dont even know i exist

like it all just got thrown out, it feels good writing this down i guess. I dont feel like talking to him about it bcs tbh If he wants to do something about us or make it proper, he has his chance to do so, I'll give him time but honestly, I hate how if someone came along and offered something more concrete that i'd consider it. i love him like on god, dont get me wrong, and tbh i probably wouldnt even budge if someone else wanted me, but i think I just want to be a part of his life again and vice versa, not some weird secret where it's just the two of us.

Whatever, thinking about this just makes me angry.

my birthday happened a few days back, being 22 is not relieving at all. I always feel relief when i get older but now it's just replaced with this weird sense of dread tbh

i missed therapy roday i totally forgot about it. also my left eye hurts and idk why but maybe i need to take a break on the whole eyelash extension thing kejap lololol

if it still feels weird ill get them removed.

i also feel like taking a break from social media, no particular reason, i think its just a thing i feel from time to time.

working at an office i realize, you're just sort of

waiting for stuff to happen most of the time and it gets really boring.

oh i also gained so much weight, like 8 kg idk how i did that but i'm hoping to lose the weight soon. I'm on a calorie deficit right now, but its sort of hard to be consistent since i eat out with people and not eating a normal amount kinda weird people out and i kinda dont wanna weird people out u know???

I wonder when gjie is going to come back to office,

i really suck at scripting radio ads lololol Idk its surprisingly kinda hard to do, and i think its because i dont know how to make something not too formal and not too casual.

I wish my radio station was a little more relaxed. Maybe one day, i'll make my own radio station. Idk its just a funny idea, but it would be cool i think. Just me and myself.

I dont think anyone would listen to it though,

i like to think i'm interesting as a person

but i think i'm not so great nowadays, i'm not as interesting as i thought i was. I also kind of miss my long hair. Its nice having less weight on your hair but , I miss the comfort of long hair, just made me feel protected

[88088-8]

It’s sad to say but right now I’m really just feeling it over everything and I know the only thing that makes me not feel suicidal is my daughter. I don’t feel like my mom loves me like I need to be loved. I don’t feel like the man I’m supposed to marry loves me like we need to be love, and also on top of that neither of them are willing to learn. And I know years ago by and Halie will leave me too and I’ll be left alone. Like I always have been.

I just feel like I’m putting all this effort and the people who are only putting effort into themselves. And I’m just helping them take care of them and at the end of the day whenever I need help or I ask for anything my needs usually are not met.

And I don’t have anyone I can talk to about it. I don’t wanna give up, but I feel like it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve spent the last nine years building a relationship in a family with a man who doesn’t have any appreciation and respect for me and the things that I do. If I don’t make money a lot of value, and even if I do make money, I’m not a volume as I’m making more money than him and if I ever make more money than him, then it would be a total power trip and he would not like that either so there’s literally no winning.

I just want to give up. But I can’t leave Halie and Avery. What really sucks is whenever I start feeling really bad for the person who supposed to be my person acts like I’m just being dramatic. He’s never on my side he never sticks up for me. I mean if he does love me, his love isn’t enough for me.

Maybe mines not enough for him. He says that I talk to my shit but what do you means is I have a nasty town because I have anxiety I am overwhelmed or I told him this already and he doesn’t listen to me.

But whenever he talks to me like shit, he’s actually calling me names. Call me stupid or dumb ass or something today. And whenever I said, I feel like a second glasses in my own home, he told me this isn’t my home.

So yeah. And I know probably never get an apology and even if I do, it’ll happen again next week.

Basically, he was implying today that if I continue to bitch, I don’t have anywhere to live.

But I had asked him to get my nails done and get a birthday gift for Nataly. And he acted all like bothered by the fact that I asked him that and then he said that he just wish I could get my own nails done with my own money.

Which mind you a couple weeks ago I got my nails and toes done and he and I both agreed I should do it more often and it looks nice. He likes it and I like it..

But he hates when I ask him for money. And tbh I wasn’t even mad that I wasn’t going to get a gift for my nose and I was more mad. He acts bothered by anytime I ask him for something. Like I’m able to get it any other way?

So I said, never mind and I went to my bathroom and I started filing my own no polish off, and I was going to make them look presentable for this dinner I’m supposed to go to for Nataly‘s birthday. So he came in with money. I’m sorry to yelling at me telling me to go and I was just like forget it never mind I don’t wanna make you feel stressed out or you know I don’t like feeling like a burden so

And by that he took it to the point where he told me, I don’t have a house. So I gave him all of the logins to all of the new business I’m setting up and I’m just gonna let him do it because he can do it better than him as he says.

I’m just worth nothing.

[rrxnjun]

stress is deff a bitch but i feel like me and stress are the same now so🤡🤡

it's the 20th of august🤭 nooo that's a bit sad that u couldn't add urs but ur still a king for adding three birthdays in there🫡

WELL I HOPE THAT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN!!🤣 whaaattt that's such a long time oh my but the fact that u still had it is jaw dropping tbh

i don't understand why middle aged women have to be so rude sometimes☹️ wait i completely forgot that accents exist oh my god now thats even worse🥲 YEYY U SHOULD ARANGE ONE IN OCTOBER AS WELL COME TO THE 5SOS SHOW WITH ME/j (i'm heartbroken i have no one to go with so i probably can't attend) (i hope this doesn't break ur heart more cuz i saw ur posts about them sorry if it does☹️☹️hope i didn't cross a line with this joke☹️)

NOT TELLING ANYONE🫢 i look up to u for that cuz i'm still pretty much unable to do i suck💔 SO TRUE THE BEST DESCRIPTION I HEARD OF THEM JUST SOME GUYS!! i was so sad when yedam and mashiho left and i understand the soft spot he is such a lovely guy🥹 being a treasure stan is fun and a heartbreak but glad u admit now that ur a teume 🥲😌 ofc ofc we are sharing😵‍💫 HE IS SUCH A MENACE AND ITS SO FUNNY tbh he was the reason why i came back to tumblr cuz i wanted to see more content and things about him then i ran into the same problem as u that there are not that many writers in the fandom here tbh (or i just can't find them)💔 (sooo if u end up writing something for jihoon i will be waiting🫣)

IT SHOULDNT BREAK UR HEART IM SORRY IT WAS A CRY IN A POSITIVE WAY!!! i think it just means u portray emotions well (?) cuz every time there is a good sad scene in movies or books i just have to fight the tears back even when i was in a good mood before💔 AND THANK U FOR BEING AN AMAZING WRITER AND JUST BEING LOVELY AND READING MY LONG ASS REPLIES LMAO U ARE JUST TOO NICE OF A PERSON💖💕💝 (liebestraum anon💕)

omg 20th august is such a good bday to have im noting it down!!! 😌😌

IT IS the fic was originally supposed to be a part of collab but the writer deactivated and cancelled it but when i asked if i can keep the idea they were ok with it!! so yeah hopefully one day 💓

LOOK lets go to the concert together 😭😭 im like,, half serious and half joking 😭😭😭 i keep telling my mum about it and like the bus tickets to budapest are only 7€ and then i can find a cheap hotel and shit and i have money saved for the tickets 😭😭😭 like. budapest is objectively the closest stop to me ((even tho im still salty there is no vienna then i would go for sure) and i wanted to visit anyway 😌 but my mum doesnt wanna go w me and my dad doesnt either and i have no friends that would wanna go w me either and i am not allowed to go alone so. theres that 😭😭 i dont think ill get to go tbh im still kinda heartbroken but oh well its not the first time :// if i didnt live in such a shitty ass place this would all be easier 😭

girl i think its a miracle tbh but i got the names down. thanking my hyperfixation tendencies 💓💓💓 when i saw it i was so shocked tbh and now i keep getting sad mashidam edits on my tiktok fp and living through the pain LMAO. GIRL my crush on jihoon is getting out of control like genuinely what the fuck is happening to me- WHY IS TEUMEBLR SO DRY THO WHERE ARE THE FICS ??? i found like 3 fics and the rest are like 2 years old headcanon posts its such a struggle 😭😭 do i really have to do everything myself on this site.... (dont feed my delusions but give it a few months and if i dont fall out of them i can see myself creating a seperate treasure blog.....got a jihoon drabble idea the other day but. i will contain myself. so far he's the new main side character of the mark fic im writing 🥴)

awh you are too sweet 😭😭😭😭 thank u so so much !!!! this means the whole world to me 💓 once again was happy to hear from u, hope youre doing well ily xx

[tennessoui]

would you ever do a hunger games au? like anakin and obi-wan in the arena and doing a katniss and peeta thing where they both survive? anakin maybe killing the competitors so obi-wan wouldn't have to? (just thinking that child killing is in character for him) anyway no pressure or anything I just haven't stopped thinking about a hunger games au of obikin and. I thought maybe you could do something with it!

i need you to know i shamefully snorted at the child murder thing i'm sorry and i'm also sorry this took so long and it's a bit all over the place and doesn't actually get into the Games at all (+ it's been years since I read the books so all inaccuracies should be tastefully ignored pls) this may not be what you asked for tbh but here you go!!

(content warnings: hunger games typical discussion of child murder, but nothing graphic)

(1.7k)

Anakin’s first emotion after his name is called is a strange sense of relief.

Good, he thinks. I’ll get to go with Obi-Wan. He won’t be alone.

He dutifully steps forward out of the crowd towards the stage, where the announcer is waiting next to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan who is looking at him with an expression of naked devastation.

Anakin tries to convey that it’ll be alright, that it’s fine, that they knew this was a possibility. Sure, it’s Anakin’s last year eligible to be in the Games. Sure his nineteenth birthday is in two weeks, at which point he would become too old to qualify as a child to the Capitol, but what’s done is done.

Obi-Wan will be his mentor, because Obi-Wan has been the mentor for District Four ever since he won his own Games seven years ago when he was sixteen and Anakin was twelve.

That year’s known unofficially as the most boring Games in Panem history, but the Capitol loves how handsome Obi-Wan’s grown to be. So what if he didn’t kill his competitors messily or with a bloodthirsty joy? He’s so polite in his interviews all these years later, and look at those dimples!

It makes Anakin sick, every time Obi-Wan has to leave District Four and travel to the Capitol to be fawned over and stroked and used. His nightmares are always worse the weeks after he gets back, and he never lets Anakin hold him during them.

And it’s even worse during the actual Games, when Obi-Wan is put in charge of two children’s lives only to see them brutally murdered on screen a week later. The cameras always show his reaction when the competitors from District Four die. They must think he cries pretty or something.

Anakin hates the Capitol. He hates them for what they’ve done to Obi-Wan. What they’ve made him into

As he gets close enough to the stage, he notices that Obi-Wan’s hands are shaking slightly.

He doesn’t even listen to the name of the girl being called. She’s not important. She’ll be dead in a few days time. What’s important is Obi-Wan. What’s important is comforting him, is reassuring him. Is coming back to him.

This is the moment when Anakin resolves that these Games will become known as the quickest in history.

---

The girl is understandably sullen and upset on the train. “I should get a different mentor!” she demands. “It’s obvious you’re going to play favorites with him.”

Anakin doesn’t snap back because she’ll be dead in a few days. Though she really shouldn’t use that tone with Obi-Wan.

“I’m not playing favorites,” Obi-Wan insists. “I don’t have favorites.”

“You literally just wiped sauce off his mouth with your finger,” the girl points out. “And then he licked it!”

Anakin smirks at her. Of course Obi-Wan has favorites. Of course Anakin is Obi-Wan’s favorite. It took him years to wear down Obi-Wan until he allowed him this close, and years after that until he finally got to kiss him for the first time, just a few months ago.

If she thinks he’s going to give up any of his Obi-Wan time so she can get her hopes up about not dying in a few days, she’s got another thing coming.

But Obi-Wan shifts away from him and he looks guilty.

If Anakin could get away with killing the other person from his district, he would. But it’d probably make Obi-Wan sad.

“Is whining part of your strategy?” he asks waspishly instead. “I don’t think it’ll make you many allies.”

She has the nerve to look offended.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan chides. Underneath the table, he squeezes his knee.

“Everyone in the district knows about you two,” she glares at him. “You haven’t exactly kept it a secret.”

Anakin hasn’t exactly tried to keep it a secret. The first night Obi-Wan had kissed him, he went straight home and told his mother, his neighbor, his schoolmates, his cat, and his ex-girlfriend.

(No one had been surprised, except maybe the cat.)

“It’s not fair,” she cries. “Who can I talk to to get a different mentor for me?”

“The ethics board,” Anakin smiles, all teeth, settling back into his seat and slinging an arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulders.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says again, this time more exasperatedly. “Robin, I promise I will be the best mentor you can ask for. It is my wish to see you survive as long as possible in the next few weeks.”

The girl jumps to her feet in outrage. “You can’t even say you want me to win!” she yells. There are tears at the corners of her eyes. If she were a little less annoying, Anakin would feel quite bad for her. Obviously Obi-Wan doesn’t want her to win. Anakin’s right here.

She storms out of the train compartment, her face in her hands. Anakin barely waits for the door to close before he’s slipping into Obi-Wan’s lap and throwing his arms around his neck with a groan. “God, I thought she’d never leave.”

He isn’t pushed away. Obi-Wan must realize they only have a handful of days left to be together before he goes into the arena.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says wearily, even as his arms encircle his waist.

Anakin presses a kiss to his nose and then another to his cheek. “It’s alright to have favorites, Obi-Wan,” he murmurs. “And she should know there’s no way she’s winning anything. Don’t waste your time.”

“I will do everything I can to make sure she survives as long as possible,” Obi-Wan repeats. “I don’t think I can survive anything else.”

Obi-Wan’s voice sounds shaky, so Anakin presses their lips together. Best not to talk for awhile.

------

“We should discuss strategy,” Obi-Wan says later that night through frantic kisses. “Sponsors, story, training--”

“I have a strategy,” Anakin murmurs back as he moves further down the bed, rucking up his partner’s shirt. “Win.”

----

“You look absolutely radiant,” Anakin tells the girl in an undertone while they’re in line for their interviews. She turns around to glare at him. The designer for their district has gone for the typical fish designs that people always associate with District Four, and they’ve dressed her up in a shimmering iridescent gown that flares at the ends like a fish’s tail.

Anakin’s own outfit is mostly a fishing net draped over one shoulder and a pair of tight pants. The designer, much to Obi-Wan’s embarrassment and Anakin’s satisfaction, had taken one look at his shirtless chest and decided to dress him in as little clothes as possible.

“Weird braid,” is all she says.

Obi-Wan had done it late last night when both of them had tired each other out and Anakin had curled up on his chest. After his Games, Obi-Wan’s hands like to do something. The repetitive motion of braiding and unbraiding Anakin’s hair soothes his demons.

It’s one of the reasons Anakin’s grown it out to his shoulders, much longer than is practical for his district.

Obi-Wan had gone to unbraid it, and Anakin had stopped him. He wanted to keep it. To wear it into the Games.

“Thank you,” he says generously. “I saw your score. 7’s not too bad.”

She sneers at him. “Did you celebrate your 11 with your boyfriend?”

“Oh sorry,” he winces. “Did you hear us? I’m just so bad at biting my tongue when he does this thing with his.”

She scoffs in disgust and turns back around. “I hope he has to watch you die.”

Anakin glares at her back. He knows he can’t kill her himself. But there has to be a way to hurt her and her chances and still have plausible deniability.

When it’s her turn for an interview, she’s vapid and pretty. She laughs and touches the interviewer’s arm.

“I’ve never spent much time in District Four,” the interviewer says jovially. “But tell me, really. Is everyone there as beautiful as the people you keep sending us? I mean. Obi-Wan Kenobi, ladies and gentlemen, am I right?” The audience laughs and hollers. Anakin hates them all. “And now you, Robin, and Anakin Skywalker. Damn!”

Robin--Anakin needs to stop forgetting her name--giggles high in her throat. “It was a very, very enjoyable train ride up,” she says with a stupid wiggle of her eyebrows. “Just this side of too long.”

The audience loses it.

Anakin loses it.

He can’t believe she’s sitting there publicly suggesting that Anakin shares Obi-Wan with anyone. With her. The nerve.

The camera pans to Obi-Wan in the crowd, who looks shocked, embarrassed, and deeply troubled.

Anakin won’t let this stand. He just hopes Obi-Wan forgives him.

The interviewer greets him excitedly when he walks out, and Anakin gives him a sheepish sort of smile.

“Lady killer Skywalker!” the interviewer says. Anakin laughs along with him. “All the girls back home must have been heartbroken to see you leave.”

“But I’ve heard they love watching me go,” he jokes with a charming smile. If that girl--Robin--can do it, he can do it much better. “There’s really only one person for me though,” he murmurs, letting his smile die.

“Oh?” The interviewer asks, leaning forward with interest.

“But sometimes I wonder if they’re only using me for my body,” he says, casting his eyes down. “I love them. Heart and soul, everything I am. But when I told them, they just laughed.”

This is technically true. The first time Anakin had told Obi-Wan that he was in love with him, the older boy had laughed his confession off, saying he was too young to know what he wanted.

“Oh, to be young and in love,” the interviewer sighs theatrically. “So your plan is to win the Games and then win her heart when you get back home?”

Anakin makes himself look sad. Tragically sad. Like he can’t bear to go on.

“They came with me,” he says.

If the audience’s reaction to Robin’s fake confession was huge, its reaction to Anakin’s words is even bigger. Of course they think he’s talking about the girl. That’s exactly what Anakin had wanted. Now he’s the broken-hearted boy and she’s the vapid, self-absorbed bitch. She'll have a hard time finding sponsors now.

It’s very, very hard to hide his smile, a task made exponentially more hard when he sees Obi-Wan bury his face in his hands.

“It’s alright,” Anakin tells the interviewer, without taking his eyes off of Obi-Wan. “I’ll survive.”

[daddyjackfrost]

“I’ll always be here.” — Akaashi Keiji

- ft. kuroo, bokuto, kenma, & Tsukishima

alright!!! here is part 2, as requested😌 tbh, this was a little harder to write but i think i’m proud of it! Also! i just wanna say, thank you guys for the support on my last one??? i genuinely did not expect anyone to like it

Summary: After you confronted Akaashi and told him just how much he hurt you over the past month, you edged him to leave you alone, except that’s not what you wanted. Now desperate to make things right, Akaashi finds himself outside of Bokuto’s house.

Warnings: tears. idk i cried so 🤷🏻‍♀️, sfw, all the feels, use of cuss words (like three), implied cheating, kissing, hurt/comfort

part one is here

Taglist: @autumnandhotchocolate @yourlocalbabybird @wtfdudewhydidyoutakemyusername @karlitaburrito @sana-li @multi-fandom-fanfic @please-stopme-now

points!!: h/g/n: his girlfriend’s name, k/g: kuroo’s girlfriend, b/f: bokuto’s girlfriend

——————————————————————————

“You...what?”

Kuroo stared at his friend in disbelief, with a tinge of horror. Bokuto just stared at Akaashi with his mouth on the floor, and Tsukishima, well he also just stared at the setter. Kenma wasn’t starting at Akaashi, but his thumbs had stopped moving momentarily in shock.

Akaashi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. After bursting into Bokuto’s house, he quickly told the four men he had fucked up and would probably begin to cry. To which, all four men started laughing, until they noticed the red in Akaashi’s eyes.

Kuroo let out a small breathy “dude”, and Akaashi knew he had absolutely fucked up if he got Bokuto speechless.

“You forgot y/n’s birthday? How—”

Bokuto shook his head. He frowned at Akaashi with a small pout. “How could you do that, Akaashi? Even I remembered!”

That did not make Akaashi feel better, at all.

“What do I do?” Akaashi mumbled. His heart had not stopped racing and he kept checking his phone, just in case he got a message from you telling him to come home to talk. He knew it was pointless, not after he had left you on seen so many times.

Little did he know, you were also with some company. Kuroo and Bokuto’s girlfriends, to be exact. You needed to be with people. You needed to get out of that place you still called a home. You sat in a coffee shop with the two other girls, who both listened attentively. You had turned your phone off, just in case Akaashi messaged you to talk.

Because Kuroo and Bokuto were still in shock, Tsuki slightly leaned forward. He pushed his glasses up and then shrugged. “You fucked up, Akaashi-san. Now you have to decide on how you’re going to make it up to her.”

Akaashi nodded. He knew this. But what was he going to do?

Akaashi turned to Kuroo. Between all five of the guys, Kuroo was surprisingly yet not surprisingly, the best at relationships. His girlfriend, whom he had been dating for two years now, was best friends with you. And Akaashi knew that if anyone could help, it was Kuroo. Especially since Kuroo fucked up a lot.

Kuroo just shook his head. “Fuck bro, I-” He paused and then let out a soft breath. “h/g/n told me a little about what y/n was feeling, but this? Come on, Akaashi. You’re better than this.”

Akaashi just dropped his head in shame. To hear these words from his friends, from the people who didn’t know him as well as you did, hurt. But he needed to hear them.

“I know,” Akaashi mumbled. “Help me, Tetsoru. Please. I can’t lost her.”

Kuroo just nodded in understanding. He swirled his drink around in his cup. “Akaashi, you have to understand, that what you did, it hurt y/n. You have to understand that she may think you’re cheating on her, or—”

Kuroo didn’t get to finish because Akaashi let out a small noise of protest. “No! No I would never cheat on y/n! Or anyone!”

Kuroo just nodded. “I know, Kaashi. But she may think that. Especially since you’ve been spending so much time with Bokuto and us.”

Bokuto frowned. “Is y/n mad at me too? I wish I would have known, Akaashi! I’m such a bad friend.” Bokuto sighed and his eyes began to droop. “I’m causing problems between couples.”

Kuroo just sighed and then elbowed Bokuto in the stomach. Bokuto groaned and let out a small string of curses. “Shut up, Kotaruo. This isn’t about you.”

Bokuto just nodded, still in pain.

Kuroo rubbed his hands together. Truthfully, he wasn’t entirely sure what Akaashi should do. Sure he fucked up a lot, but not like this. Kuroo would have texted his girlfriend, but she had texted him a quick:‘i’m with y/n rn and she’s upset so don’t talk to me.’ So that was out of the question.

The room was quiet, until Kenma sighed and paused his game. He sat up and turned to the group, which caught everyone’s attention since Kenma never faced them.

“Do you still want to be with y/n?” Kenma asked. His voice came out bored and monotone, but Akaashi could hear the very slight concern.

Akaashi nodded, feverishly. “Of course. I want nothing else.”

Kenma sighed. “Based on what you’ve told us, y/n probably thinks you don’t want to be with her. When she told you to leave? That was a test. Which you failed, by the way.”

All four men stared at the gamer. Kenma rarely spoke this much, unless it was for a game, and this surprised them. Though, it shouldn’t have. You and kenma had a special kind of bond. A sister-brother bond, is what Kuroo called it.

“I didn’t know what I was supposed to do! She told me to leave! But before she told me to stay!”

Tsuki tapped his fingers on his leg. “She probably told you to go because she wanted to see if you actually would.” A small pause. “Which you did.”

Akaashi let out a small groan and threw his head back. “I know. I know. Just add it to the list of fuck ups. Tell me how to fix this.”

For the first time since the harsh elbow in his stomach, Bokuto speaks up. “Why don’t you take her out on a date?”

Kuroo’s eye twitches. “Ignore him, Akaashi—”

Bokuto slapped Kuroo’s hands away and stuck his tongue out at the rooster haired man.

“Shut up, Bakaru. What I mean is, you missed her birthday right? And like, four dates? Why don’t you take her out on one extravagant date that makes up for all of it?”

The gears in Kuroo and Tsukishima’s head began working.

Akaashi stared at his best friend in amazement. “Bokuto-san, that was— that’s a good idea.”

Bokuto grinned and flashed his sparking teeth. “What can I say,” he shrugged. “I’m a smart man.”

Kuroo shook his head. “No, you’re not.” Bokuto frowned and wined at the sudden stab at his ego.

Kuroo leaned forward. “Bokuto’s onto something, Akaashi. I think this could work.”

Kenma cut Kuroo off. “An extravagant date may make up for the ditching and the neglect, but you still need to apologize, Akaashi. You still need to sit down with her and apologize. Get on your knees if you have too.”

Kenma wasn’t serious about the knees part, but Akaashi was. He would definitely get on his knees and beg for your forgiveness if he had too. But he wouldn’t, because he wasn’t going to put you through that pressure.

Akaashi just nodded, and the men all got to work.

This was going to work, Kuroo thought. It had too.

***

“He just... left?”

You nodded. You had explained the situation to two of your closest friends, k/g and b/g. You had mentioned how distant Akaashi had become, but you never told them anything. Except for when he missed your birthday. k/g was so furious it took two hours to calm her down.

But now, now you had to tell someone. You had to get a second opinion on this. You needed to know whether or not you were being dramatic about this.

“That’s such bullshit.” k/g was seething. She liked Akaashi, she really did, but right now, she wanted to punch that man in the gut.

“I’m really sorry you’ve kept all this inside for so long,” b/g quietly said. She had been quiet and in shock the whole time. She knew that Akaashi had been spending an abnormally amount of time with Bokuto lately, but she had no idea of the consequences.

You just shrugged. “It was between Akaashi and I, but I felt like I was going to lose my mind, so, here I am.”

They both just silently nodded.

You inhaled a small sharp breath. “What do I do?”

Both women just stared at you, deep in thought. What were you going to do? You didn’t want to just leave him, though he deserved it. You wanted to get through this. You wanted to be wrapped in Akaashi’s arms. You wanted to to kiss his lips and neck and chest. You wanted to love him.

“You love him?”

You looked at k/g, and nodded. “More than I love myself.”

She just nodded in understanding. She had known of your feelings for a bit. Not everything, but some. She also knew that Akaashi was with Kuroo right now, begging for their help. K/g knew she had to help you. You and Akaashi are perfect for each other. So perfect that it’s actually insane. She knew she had to help you through this, help you back to him.

Before she could speak however, b/g cut her off.

“Akaashi’s a good man. He’s sensible and understanding. I don’t know what’s been going on with him for the past month, but I know he loves you, y/n. Even if he hasn’t shown it lately.”

You just nodded, not completely trusting her words. You didn’t want to assume Akaashi was cheating, that wasn’t fair, but a small part of you couldn’t help but think... maybe he’s tired of me?

“What if...” You paused. Was it too dramatic? Akaashi would never cheat on you, you knew that. But Akaashi also wouldn’t have neglected you for a month either. “What if he’s tired of me?”

Both women snapped their heads to you. A small look of shock passed through b/go’s eyes but she understood where you were coming from.

“Y/n,” k/g’s started. “Akaashi may be acting like a dick right now, but he would never cheat on you. You know this. I understand you’re hurt and you’re angry, but don’t lose yourself, okay? If... if something like that did happen though, I’ll be the first to punch him.” Your lips tugged upwards. You had no doubt that she would beat Akaashi if she had a reason.

“Y/n,” b/g spoke. She grabbed your hands and rubbed the backside of your hands with her thumbs. “You’re both adults. I know you’ve been nothing but understanding lately, but let him explain. Let him talk to you.” She squeezed your hands. “Let him fix this.”

You only nodded. You wanted to hear Akaashi’s words. You wanted to know what exactly had been going through his mind when he acted the way he did. You wanted to know if there was a genuine reason, or someone, behind his actions.

So you bid a small yet thankful goodbye to your friends, and made your way home. It was either fix this or leave this, and you loved Akaashi too much to leave him.

You were selfish in that sense. You’d rather be with him then without him, and now you were going to see what that cost you.

***

Akaashi came home much later than you did.

He came back almost four hours after he had left, and he felt terrible about it. Though, it wasn’t in vain. He had planned an amazing date for the both of you, and picked up your favourite chocolate and flowers.

It was grossly cheesy, and Akaashi felt like an idiot as he clutched the bouquet of red roses. He figured he would start with something small, something to visibly show his regret and love for you.

When Akaashi opened the front door, the first thing he noticed was the lack of light. He stepped inside and slipped his shoes off. He looked around for you, only to find nothing.

She must have gone upstairs, he thought.

Akaashi quietly made his way to the stairs, but first, his eyes landed on the dining table. The smell of lasagna spread through the air and slowly, Akaashi walked towards the table. He saw a plate of lasagna waiting for him on the table. It was covered with plastic wrap, just waiting for him.

Akaashi felt his heart clench in his chest and a small pained sigh left his body. Even fighting, even as he continued to fuck up, you still cared for him. You still went out of your way to make sure he would eat.

When you had put the plate on the table, you had no idea whether or not it was a good idea. Akaashi hadn’t been home in days, what made you think he would be home tonight? Still, the better part of you told you to leave it on the table just in case. So you did.

Akaashi stared at the plate. He wasn’t hungry at the moment. His nerves were jumbled in his stomach and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep any food down.

Akaashi made his way to the stairs, making sure to quietly climb them, in case you were sleeping.

When Akaashi reached the bedroom door, he paused. He just stared at the wood in contemplation. How could he have been so foolish? So blind? So infuriatingly stupid?

As quiet as he could, Akaashi slowly turned the door handle, and pushed the door slightly open. Enough for him to poke his head through. His eyes landed on your sleeping figure. He pushed the door open a bit more and slipped into the room.

Akaashi’s eyes landed on your curled up figure on the bed that swallowed you. His eyes landed on the pillow that you clutched to your chest.

His pillow.

Suddenly, a small pained mix between a sob and gasp left Akaashi’s body. His eyes glazed over and he felt his lip tremble.

You looked so beautiful. So innocent. So pained.

Akaashi’s subconscious began to shatter him. His inner voice began to spit foul words. Words of hatred at him. How could he ever hurt you? How could he have left you to sleep without him? How could he still believe he deserved you?

Tears ran down Akaashi’s cheeks.

He heavily walked to your side of the bed. Your eyes were clenched shut, a small frown on your lips. Akaashi’s eyes wandered over your face. His eyes ran over each one of your features so many times he was sure he could draw you in his sleep.

Akaashi got on his knees. He put the flowers and the chocolate on the floor beside him. He wiped the tears away from his eyes, hating the way they blurred his vision of you.

Akaashi said nothing. He hadn’t thought of what he was going to say before. He didn’t want it to be rehearsed. He wanted it to be genuine. He wanted you to see him vulnerable. He needed you to see just how much he hated himself for acting the way he did.

As Akaashi stared, you clenched your fist under the blanket. You had woken up the moment you heard the front door open. You weren’t expected Akaashi to come home.

You had heard his small cry at the door. It brought you your own tears but you didn’t move. You wouldn’t ruin Akaashi’s chance at redemption.

Your face felt hot. Akaashi had been staring at you for a while now, and you applauded yourself for perfecting the act of fake sleeping. Suddenly, you were thankful for your strict parents. Just for a moment.

Akaashi brought his fingers to your face. Before he could caress your cheek, he hesitated. What if you woke up? What if you hated him for touching you?

Akaashi bit his lip. He was a mess.

Without thinking, he gently caressed your cheek. It was so gentle and hesitate and yet, it made your heart skip a beat. It had been so long since Akaashi had touched you.

“Y/n...” Akaashi’s voice was barely a whisper. You momentarily stopped breathing. His smell and close proximity was intoxicated you.

Akaashi felt so angry at himself. He had never hated anyone as much as he hated himself in this moment.

“Y/n, I don’t have enough words in my vocabulary to address just how sorry I am.”

Akaashi’s voice broke and you felt tears sting your eyes. It was getting harder to pretend to sleep.

Akaashi let his tears fall freely.

He continued to gently caress your cheek. He needed the small sense of grounding.

“I am so so sorry, my love.”

You felt your heart rate spike up. You hadn’t seen Akaashi cry in so long, and now here he was, crying freely on his knees for you. A small part of you wanted to just pull him into your chest and soothe him. But he needed to do this. And you needed to hear this.

“I know I’ve hurt you in ways I promised myself I never would.” It was true. He had hurt you in all the ways he promised he never would. “I have no proper excuses. I can say I’ve been stressed at work, with the team, with everything, but that doesn’t make up for what I’ve done. Nothing I’ve done can be excused.”

You gave up pretending to sleep. You know that Akaashi had now figured out you were awake. You didn’t move, you just slowly opened your eyes.

You met Akaashi’s red eyes. Your eyes took in his face. His tear stained cheeks. His unusually messy hair. The guilt that shadowed on his face.

You and Akaashi just stared at each other. Akaashi openly stared at you. He didn’t put up any walls. He let you see his most vulnerable state.

“I promise you, that you had nothing to do with this.” You felt your breath hitch. “I love you, y/n. I’m not tired of you, I’m not sick of you, and I’m not cheating on you. My heart belongs to you, and you only. I hate myself for treating you the way I have this month. And I’ll spend my entire life making it up to you. I’ll spend everyday in this life and in the next making sure you are treated like a Queen.”

Your tears flowed down your cheeks like a waterfall on a spring day. You had never seen Akaashi look so vulnerable, and it broke you.

You pushed yourself up, and sat up on the bed. You pushed yourself so your back was against the headboard. Your eyes were locked on Akaashi’s. You waited for him to get up, to sit on the bed. But he didn’t.

It took you a moment to realize what he was doing.

He was on his knees for you.

Your eyes burned, and tears kept gliding down your face.

You cleared your throat. “...why?”

Akaashi’s head dropped in shame. Why? That was a question he wanted to know the answer to as well.

“It was work, at first.” Akaashi began. He didn’t want to use any excuses. He was just going to say what he needed too, and then let you decide on what to do next. He had no right.

You couldn’t shake the shock from your bones as you watched Akaashi kneel before you. It made you heart pound and it brought a wave of emotions crashing down on you.

As much as you thought you deserved it, you couldn’t let him kneel anymore. His knees would hurt and he couldn’t let them bruise.

“Wait,” you softly mumbled. “Sit up.”

Akaashi shook his head. “I’ll forever be on my knees for you.”

You shook your head at him. “No, Kaashi. Get up.”

Akaashi stared into your eyes. He looked for confirmation. He needed to make sure you were okay with it. After he found it, he slowly got up. He picked up the flowers and the candy and a small smile made its way to your lips at the sight.

Here he was, standing before you, with tear stained cheeks and your favourite flowers and candy.

On any other day, the sight would have made you burst into a wide smile. But not today. Right now, all you could manage was a small smile.

Akaashi sat on the bed, in front of you. He crossed his legs, and you did too.

“Talk to me,” you told him.

And he did. Akaashi told you about work, and how he got a new manager and how he was demanding and overworked him. He told you that he had to work so much harder if he wanted to get that new promotion.

Akaashi then talked about volleyball, and how his anxiety was coming back. He told you that the pressure of the team was getting to him and his overthinking cost him a game. He told you how he felt like he was drowning.

“I... I wanted to distance myself from you, I think.” Akaashi murmured. Your eyes shined with fresh tears. You knew Akaashi was an over worker, and an over thinker. You knew he had issues with anxiety before and hearing how he suffered, alone, made you want to cry for him.

It was ironic, in a way. Both you and Akaashi were hurting, but for different reasons. He was hurting and didn’t want you to suffer, and you were suffering, because he had hurt you.

“Why?”

Akaashi sighed. “Because I didn’t trust myself.”

Your eyes widened a bit.

“Before you, y/n, I had always been alone. I had always dealt with everything alone. But now, now I’m not alone, but I didn’t want to drag you down with me. I didn’t want you to suffer with me.”

You wanted to reach out and grab his hand. You didn’t know how you felt. Of course you understood him. Akaashi had always tried to distance himself from you when things got hard for him, it was a work in progress, but this time, this time you didn’t catch on.

Yes, Akaashi had hurt you. He had neglected you, and left you. But he was also hurting.

“Don’t you understand, Keiji?” Akaashi’s head tilted up and he met your gaze. His lips had slightly parted on hearing his name from your soft lips.

“You’re not alone. Your problems are my problems. Your worries are my worries. We’re in this together.”

Akaashi said nothing.

“You hurt me, Keiji. You made me feel unwanted, unloved, neglected. You made me feel as if I was just not part of your life. You made me doubt myself, and you.”

A fresh wave of tears flowed down Akaashi’s cheeks. You needed to put it out there. You needed to make him understand that he couldn’t just push you away when things got hard.

“You can’t push me away then things get hard, Keiji. You know I would do anything for you, and that means I would go through any pain you had been suffering from, for you.”

A small hiccup escaped Akaashi.

“I understand. I do. I know how you are, but this has got to change.” Akaashi nodded hastily. “You have to communicate with me. You have to tell me. You can’t just fling me aside and expect me to be okay with it. I love you, Keiji. But I deserve more than that.”

“I know, I know,” Akaashi’s breathy voice came out. “You’re right, y/n. You are. And I am so sorry, my love. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking about you or me or us, or anything.”

A small pitiful smile touched your lips. You wiped the tears from your face with the back of your hand. You watched Akaashi as he kept his head down, and played with his fingers.

You felt yourself frown as he picked at the skin on his fingers. That was Akaashi’s give away. It was his only visibly nervous habit, and you hated it.

Without thinking, you reached out and grabbed his hands in yours. You felt Akaashi freeze as you slowly began to rub your thumb over his palm.

“I don’t deserve you.” Akaashi whispered.

Your heart clenched in your chest.

“Don’t say that.” You whispered.

“I don’t,” Akaashi responded. “I don’t deserve you, y/n. But I love you too much to let you go. I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. I don’t want anyone else to have your heart, kiss your lips, or be in your arms because that’s only my place.” A small pause. “I’ll always be here.”

You couldn’t move your eyes away from his. Akaashi’s blue eyes had never shined so brightly as they did now. They were mesmerizing. They were depths of truth and promise, and you found yourself drowning.

“I will spend every moment in this life proving my love to you.”

And that was it. All your anger and hurt washed away and you forgave him. You forgave him for everything.

“I’ll hold you to that, Keiji.”

And for the first time in a while, Akaashi smiled. It wasn’t a wide smile, just a small Akaashi smile. The corner of his lips tugged upwards and hope flashed in his eyes.

You knew there was still mending to do. And you knew that Akaashi would stick to his words. He would spend the rest of his life loving you. Proving to you just how much he loved you. And you had no doubt he did, not with the way he looked at you now.

You pushed yourself away from the headboard. You needed to be closer to him. Akaashi didn’t move. He stayed still. The last thing he wanted was for him to mess something up.

You needed to feel him. You needed to be closer. You hadn’t touched Akaashi in so long. You hadn’t kissed him in so long. And even though things were still a bit hesitant between you both, you knew you needed to feel his lips on yours. And you knew that Akaashi needed to feel yours on his.

As elegantly as you could, you pushed yourself up and sat on Akaashi’s lap, straddling him. Akaashi still hadn’t moved. His eyes were on you the whole time, alert and cautious.

Once you had comfortably sat on his lap, you looked up at him. “Is this okay?” Akaashi blinked. Once. Twice. “You’re asking me?”

You nodded and he brought his strong hands to gently rest on your hips. “Is this okay?” He asked you this time. You nodded.

You both just basked in the warmth. Your arms rested on his chest gently. You both were so hesitant with your touches it almost hurt.

Akaashi had slightly leaned forward, and you felt your breath hitch. You could smell him and it calmed you down. Akaashi’s hands on your hips felt teasing, but you hadn’t dared to move.

Akaashi’s eyes had darkened a bit, but when you looked at them, the love and apologies shined so brightly it choked you.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nodded. You needed to kiss him. You were sure the kiss would heavily effect your decisions and thoughts later on but right now, right now you couldn’t care.

Maybe time stopped when his lips met yours, but the flutter only intensified. Your heat pounded in your chest as your knees felt weaker. You could only focus on how soft Akaashi felt against your mouth, how addictivly he invaded all your senses.

It still wasn’t clear if you had dreamed this moment to life, but there was raw emotion in the way Akaashi’s fingers curled around your hips.

Akaashi kept his eyes half open, sneaking a guilty peak at you every time he came back for air, just to make sure this wasn’t a product of his imagination.

Akaashi wasn’t sure if fate rooted for this moment or if his mind tricked him into a perfect present but every breath he took smelled like you and for the first time this month, he didn’t feel anxious. If anything, the warm feeling of your breath, although destabilizing, was inviting.

This time around, Akaashi pulled you into his chest and met your lips half way.

Heat rose for your stomach to your chest. Akaashi’s lips were addictive and the smell of him was hypnotic beyond reason. You parted your lips and felt him washing over like a wave of warmth, curing your toes, unfurling all your senses as the taste of him nearly silenced all your thoughts.

Your whole body tingled, the feel of his frame flush against yours felt nearly forbidden. After a month of nothing, every cell in your body was going haywire.

Akaashi pulled you in closer, until there was no distance. Neither of you could tell where you started or ended. Akaashi claimed your mouth again, hungry and intense, but full of passion.

By the time you had became aware of your fingers, they had already slipped under his shirt, Akaashi’s skin was smooth and radiating heat.

As if time had stopped right there, as you both kissed each other feverishly, to make up for the month you spent alone. You both kissed as if no one else existed, and it was perfect.

Your lips against Akaashi’s was perfect. All breath had escaped him but he didn’t care. He just wanted you, completely. You were his last breath, and Akaashi would be damned if he let you go.

You both pulled apart, breathless. Akaashi’s forehead rested against yours and you both panted. Akaashi hadn’t moved his hands from your hips. Your hand clutched his shirt.

Akaashi felt buzzed. He felt intoxicated, and he couldn’t believe he deprived himself for a month from this. From you.

You tilted your head down and kissed his cheek.

“I love you, Keiji.”

And that was it. Akaashi was a goner. He knew he would love you forever. He knew he would spend his life making it up to you.

Akaashi closed his eyes tightly, trying to push his tears back.

“And I love you, my love.”

well. don’t mind me, i’m just wiping the tears from my face. that was long. i hope you guys like it! i didn’t want to make a part three, but if you guys wanna suggest anything, i may be up for it.

anyways, i love akaashi.

header credit: @artistslayouts

daddyjackfrost © 2021 | all content belongs to me, do not modify

[guacam011y]

***SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 5 OF WANDAVISION***

HOLY SHITE MY MIND IS BLOWN

TOMMY AND BILLY CRYING

“Do you want me to take that again?” “Take it from the top?”

Agnes knows ! Tiger - Ralph

“Dark liquor” Vision being concerned

Billy and Tommy aged up?!

I DO NOT TRUST HAYWARD

SCARLET WITCH - TALKING ABOUT HOW WANDA DOESN’T HAVE A CODENAME

SIS STRAIGHT UP TOOK VISIONS CORPSE

HEX — HER POWERS GET REFERRED TO AS HEX POWERS SOMETIMES IN THE COMICS

CAPTAIN MARVEL REFERENCE

NORM SAYING NONE OF IT IS REAL

SPARKY THE DOG - VISION HAD A STAND ALONE AND STOLE A DOG

HER ACCENT

LAGOS

SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW ANY OF THIS STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE

EVAN PETERS AS QUICKSILVER

DARCY GOING “SHE RECAST PIETRO?” MOOOD

X-MEN, START TO THE MULTIVERSE?!

WANDA CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE CONTROLLING IT

IS MONICA MAD AT CAROL???

MONICA X DARCY?! WHAT A POWER COUPLE THAT WOULD BE

SIS REALLY ENDGAME - ENDGAME ENDED WITH TONY’S FUNERAL AND WANDA PROBS WENT STRAIGHT FROM THERE AND STOLE HER DEAD BF’S CORPSE (can’t really blame her, it looked like they were trying to experiment on Vis and could it be Hayward behind it?)

WHO WAS THAT ENGINEER THAT MONICA WAS GOING TO CONTACT?

BABY VISION

AND AGNES DEFINITELY KNOWS SOMETHING

DARCY FINALLY GOT HER COFFEE

SO VIS SAID THAT WANDA COULD’VE MADE EVERYTHING SUBCONSCIOUSLY AND THAT OVER TIME SHE BECAME AWARE OF IT, AND SIS DEFO HAS SOME CONTROL BUT IT’S NOT ALL HER. I THINK AGNES IS AGATHA HARKNESS AND EITHER MEPHISTO IS BEHIND IT OR IT’S NIGHTMARE AND THEY’VE MAYBE POWERED UP NIGHTMARE

***FURTHER UPDATES AND EASTER EGGS***

Auntie Agnes and Agnes saying she has a few tricks up her sleeve - we should definitely take note of that seeing as Agnes definitely has something to do with the whole situation

Wanda and Vision’s house changed again, being inspired by Family Ties, possibly Full House and Growing Pains

“Do you want me to take it from the top?” It seems as though when someone, this time Vision, steers away from the script, things either reset themselves or people become aware to some capacity, although Agnes probably already knows

Speaking of Growing Pains - It had a spin off called “Just the 10 of Us” in which the director for Wandavision, Matt Shakman, was apart of the cast - and seemingly also inspired the theme song for this week

We should definitely keep an eye on Monica and her potential for powers. With Maria last episode revealed to have gone by the name ‘Photon’ (which is a name that Monica uses as one of her aliases in the comics) and could inspire Monica’s name as she develops her powers - those scans didn’t look 100% normal. Monica has also used the Captain Marvel monicker in the comics

Wanda’s energy field and such being referred to as “Hex” short for Hexagon, could be a little nod to the comics where Wanda’s powers are sometimes called Hex powers

She’s never been referred to as the Scarlet Witch on the big screen - and it seems as though she soon may earn that code name

So we now know that Wanda stole Vision’s corpse from S.W.O.R.D, but did she actually re animate him fully? He’s still got the gem in the centre of his forehead, but the last time he had it was in Infinity War where it promptly got ripped out by Thanos - so has Wanda found her own way of reanimating him and he’s alive or is he dead and just a trick of the mind - though from other trailers/previews, Vis is seen trying to and looks successful at leaving Wanda’s barrier

They had a little call back to Captain America: Civil War with the Sokovia Accords, which were targeting the Avengers in general but were created when Wanda lost control of her powers and killed civilians

A little joke towards Vis as playing “Father Knows Best” in their little suburbia - Which was a sitcom that ran for 200 episodes in the 50’s

Sparky ! A little nod to the little green dog from the Walta and King comics run for Vision and unfortunately soon meets the same fate 💔

A little nod to Endgame when we hear from Monica that Wanda definitely could’ve taken down Thanos by herself had Thanos not rained fire - and Jimmy arguing that Captain Marvel could’ve just as easily done it - which leaves Monica with an angry look on her face

Good ol’ dial up internet

Can Vis “save” the residents of Westview? He can still seemingly interact with people’s minds, with or without the mind stone - Norm soon comes out of his trance as Vis snaps him out of it and asks to call his sister and that he has to save them all from “her” - now this “her” could be Wanda...but it could also be Agnes and then Vis shuts him down soon enough again and Norm goes back to his sit com self

Billy and Tommy are fully aware, or at least suspect Wanda’s abilities - after asking her to bring back Sparky from the dead and speaking of Billy and Tommy - could they be semi permanent fixtures in the MCU, it would help to introduce the Young Avengers eventually. They'll do Young Avengers at some point since Kang is supposed to be a thing in the third Ant-Man.

Teddy, unfortunately, I don't think will be here for a bit (I really hope he is though!). I think the guy they hired that everyone is rumoring to be Teddy might just be an episode about Billy coming to terms with his sexuality and Wanda and Vis learning to accept it in the way that era of tv they're in would go about with that kind of episode and the dude is just a dude - but again, I really hope it’s Teddy 😭

Wanda leaves the hex after a mini missile/plane tries to shoot at her - and she’s in her Scarlet Witch costume and is seemingly mostly back to her “normal self”, which includes her accent !

Lagos brand paper towels - “For when you make a mess you didn’t mean to” - a nod to Civil War again in which Wanda accidentally blew up a building in Lagos and caused the Sokovian accords to come to fruition

The mail man again - I also think he was in the commercial but anywho - “Your mom won’t let him go far” similar to “Much like she won’t let anyone leave” a potential nod to Wanda or Agnes not letting anyone leave?

“We can’t reverse death” and yet she brought Vision back - keeping in mind that he’s an android but still a little foreshadow to what happened at the end of the ep? Better yet, could Pietro coming back be a distraction for Wanda? Agnes or whoever introducing someone that Wanda lives in hopes that she won’t go full on breakdown superpowers or just to give her an attachment to Westview even more and make her not want to leave at all

“She recasted Pietro” EVAN ! I’m so pumped for this - it seems this could turn into the X-Men making their debut earlier than expected possibly? In any case, it’s a nice little Easter Egg to the previous Fox franchise of X-Men movies where Evan played Peter Maximoff “Quicksilver” alongside James McAvoy as Prof X, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and so many others - and with Deadpool being confirmed as Disney’s first R rated film, it seems Mutants are definitely on their way to the MCU

Agnes is definitely Agatha or a gender bent Nightmare

The way Billy shed himself and Tommy up was scary - definitely a little nod to his powers coming in

Multiple different perspectives of Wanda saying that Monica left

Red Hex dialled up to around light sources (computer, window, etc.)

Vision mentions reading Charles Darwin’s The Descent of Man - which could refer to Mutants entering the MCU, Mutants being superior to humans

Agnes calls herself Auntie Agnes - in episode 2 during the title sequence in the grocery store there’s a product called ‘Auntie A’s Kitty Litter’

Agnes refers to herself as a Tiger and in the episode, there’s a Tiger on the dining table in the kitchen - could that be a listening device, her eyes and ears?

There are no other children in Westview - Billy and Tommy are immune because they have no prior trauma

Elizabeth Olsen’s photos are real and slightly altered with Sokovian flags in the background

In the birthday shot of Billy and Tommy, they have ‘1,2,3,4,5’ candles all on one cake

In the holiday photos, Vision goes from Turkey to Easter Bunny, to Santa and progressively gets more unhappy - realising he no longer wants to play along in Wanda’s Hex

During Monica’s callbacks to seeing Wanda’s pain inside her head, we see a new shot of Wanda crying - it looks like it’s around the time she stole Vision’s corpse, as the outfit she’s wearing is very similar, if not the same - could this be an after shot of when she’s trying to bring Vision back?

During the scene where we see the footage of Wanda stealing Vision’s corpse, the S.W.O.R.D logo that appears on the table has 8 stars around the rim of the logo but then has a 9th one in the middle - could this be a little Easter Egg to the nine realms of the Cosmos? And there’s also a map showing Cape Canaveral, could that be where S.W.O.R.D’s headquarters are?

Wanda and Pietro were born in 1989 to Irina and Oleg Maximoff - who were killed in an air raid when the twins were 10. In the comics, Wanda and Pietro were raised by Django and Maria Maximoff, before their true parentage was revealed as being the children of Magneto, however, in the comics this has been retconned so that Wanda and Pietro are no longer Mutants and the High Evolutionary had just disguised them as Mutants (something I think they should undo tbh - MARVEL, PLEASE MAKE WANDA AND PIETRO MUTANTS AGAIN!!!)

Speaking of the air raid, that was also referenced in Age of Ultron by Pietro and Wanda - “We were 10 years old, having dinner the four of us. And the first shell hits 2 floors below, makes a hole in the floor” - was the beeping Stark toaster be what that was referring to?

WHIH reappears for a brief cameo as the news service in the MCU - and Hayward cuts off Jimmy as he was trying to defend Wanda’s reputation, in which Jimmy then turns to Darcy and says “I try not to speak ill of people” Darcy then follows up with “Then allow me, Hayward’s a-“ and then she’s cut off by a shot back to Hayward saying the word “Terrorist” which would make sense as it seems with Vision’s corpse, he may have been trying to make sentient weapons and by subverting Vision’s will and blaming Wanda of doing the same. In the footage shown of Wanda stealing Vision’s remains, we see Vision broken up into parts and S.W.O.R.D seems to be experimenting on him and this seems to be the robotics/nanotech project that Hayward was referring to. Monica asks Hayward about the footage saying “When was this?” to which Hayward replies saying “9 days ago. Maximoff stormed our facility, stole Vision’s body and resurrected him” - this would mean that Wanda took Vision 2 weeks after the events of Endgame, about a week before Monica returned to S.W.O.R.D and Hayward didn’t tell her any of this and when he sent her in there, he knew exactly what he was doing - with her reputation after Civil War, this makes it easier for Hayward to paint her as the villain.

Back in Westview, Tommy wears red and Billy wears green - which are the colours that Wiccan and Speed wear in the comics, respectively. And it’s also the colours that Wanda and Vision are known for and appears quite a lot in their wardrobes

More in regards to Sparky, he was the synthezoid dog in Tom King’s run of Vision - the story being that he was originally a dog named Zeke who unfortunately passed away after digging up the Grim Reaper’s corpse and getting zapped. The Grim Reaper’s helmet appears during the title sequence of Episode 2 in the floorboards. Could Sparky have been trying to dig up a similar thing when he was caught by Agnes and consequently killed?

Monica mentions that she knows this aerospace engineer, they’re never shown but she is seen texting them. Could it be Reed Richards a.k.a Mr Fantastic? Hayward did mention that some astronauts used to work for S.W.O.R.D before a mission went haywire - though it seems a bit lacklustre to introduce such highly anticipated characters this way. Could it instead be the Skrull daughter of Talos that Monica befriended at the end of Captain Marvel? She mentioned that they had extraterrestrial allies in episode 4 working with her and Fury as apart of S.W.O.R.D - in the Spanish subtitles they use the feminine articles for this engineer - so I think it’s more likely to be Talos’s daughter

The board that we saw in Episode 4 now includes the mailman, drivers license and all - could he be Jimmy’s missing witness?

The tension in the room after Jimmy references Carol is similarly seen when in Spider-Man: Far From Home, where Peter asks Skrull Fury/Talos “How about Captain Marvel?” To which Talos replies “Don’t involve her name”. Fury, Monica and Talos were all on the side of the Skrulls by then end of Captain Marvel and the space station that Fury was on maybe apart of S.W.O.R.D. So did Carol betray them?

A slight reference to Captain America: The First Avenger is made when Monica pulls a Peggy Carter and shoots at something to see if it’s bulletproof, in Peggy’s case it was the iconic Captain America shield and in the case of Monica, it was her clothes that she was wearing after Wanda threw her out of the Hex

Abilash (Norm) never states that Wanda is the one that Vision has to save them from, it’s just “her” - could this instead be Agnes?

When Billy is training Sparky to sit, he puts the treat by his ear up to his temple - a future reference that Billy will one day share the same powers as his mum?

During the scene in which Wanda leaves the Hex briefly, she turns the guns onto Hayward but none are trained on Monica - she may still trust Monica slightly, whereas with Hayward, she slightly more pissed off because of what he was doing to Vision’s remains. And turning a bunch of guns on the people you don’t trust? Like father, like daughter as Magneto pulls a similar move in one of the X-Men films - Hopefully, the big cameo they keep teasing will be Ian McKellan as Magneto or the Magnus of this House of M adaptation

During when Agnes “found” Sparky, she says he died from eating too many leaves from her plants - in the Tom King Vision run, one of Vision’s kids ends up killing Sparky and sees inside his stomach that there’s a plant that Agatha Harkness grows in her garden

All the names that appear during the credits that Wanda tries to run to end the show and to stop Vision from talking are names of people who work on the actual Wandavision show itself

When Evan Peter’s version of Quicksilver shows up, he says “Does a long lost bro get to squeeze his sister to death or what?” I DO NOT TRUST THIS PIETRO - Similar to Wandavision, the Fox X-Men movies moved up decade by decade - First Class was in the 1960s, Days of Future Past was in the 1970s, Apocalypse was in the 1980s and Dark Phoenix was in the 1990’s - which would make even more sense as MCU! Pietro wasn’t born until 1989, whereas Peter was active during the 1980s. I reckon that this Pietro is Jimmy’s missing witness, Agnes’s husband Ralph and is disguising itself as a comforting presence to Wanda as Vision no longer brings comfort and is trying to bring Wanda back to reality - and when he shows up, the mirror in the background behind Wanda is slightly distorted but his hand looks red and in the shot as well, there seems to be a grey arm reaching towards Pietro - in the shot itself behind and in front of Wanda, there’s nothing there but in the mirror, there is! Either way, I do not trust this Pietro and it’s just an entity trying to give Wanda the last thing that could make her happy - but it won’t last, as everything is already breaking down around her.

I seriously seriously love this show so much 💙