#and thats propbably also why she liked my mother bc my mother is the opposite of that and rly caters to that type of personality
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Reading my great aunts annotations and underlined words and finding her shopping-list bookmark stuck between the pages of books, I feel closer to her than I ever did and I wish we had talked more when she was alive but all I can hope for now is that she's happy that someone's reading her favourite books and thinking about her. I would be.
#i remember her to be kind of.. self involved isnt the right word but i could just get the sense that she wasent very interested#in things that didnt concern herself or art#and now that i think abt it neither am i and maybe thats the reason we never rly talked properly#and thats propbably also why she liked my mother bc my mother is the opposite of that and rly caters to that type of personality#she was an artist who lived alone most her life and tbh in alot of ways she represents what i want for myself in life#independence and creative freedom and exploration etc etc#my strongest memory of her is when she wished me a happy 16 birthday when i turned 18#and thats totally something i would do too so i dont even blame her but just bc were very similar doesn't mean we would be compatible#we probably wouldnt but i would have still liked to know her better when she was alive#instead of piecing her together as a reconstruction from items left behind in the house she inherited to us#personal
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