#what he thought i was
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!
#laios touden#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#arts#dungeon meshi#hello Im back again! to tumblr#also Im pretty shamlessly using beebfreeb 's falin outfit. I like it a lot I think thats how she is#delicious in dungeon#obviously influenced by some other peoples designs of modern designs figured Id put that disclaimer i do love those#i have no idea what the canonicity of laios going to the library is. like. he knows a lot#but i dont know if thats from books necessarily? jsut thought it was funny just pretend its this particualr libraary if that bothers u I gu
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✦ Fashionably late ✦
#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Machete#Vasco#anthro#sighthound#scenthound#dogs#canine#animals#modern au#I wanted to finish this for halloween but in the end couldn't quite manage#I hope you had nice time :>#I started thinking about what costumes they would choose months ago and changed my mind several times for both of them#I had this false visual memory about Jack Skellington's ribs being visible like that#but when I went looking for references it doesn't seem to be the case#I could've sworn#I adore Howl's jacket#I added little stars to it#no particular reason#Howl is somewhat star coded isn't he and Vasco has this sun motif going on#I thought it suited them both
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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my lovely son waking me up to tell me he threw up.
us waking up my wonderful butlerfather to tell him he threw up.
#i needed to draw jason with glowing eyes as the mom i threw up meme but i thought it would be funny if bruce had no idea what to do#so hence alfred he threw up#jason todd#bruce wayne#red hood#batman#alfred mention#dc fanart#ash's doodlings
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The moment FNAF movie Vanessa knew she fucked up
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanessa#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#mike schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#MORE of Vanessa’s thoughts through the fnaf movie#THIS SCENE especially where Vanessa and Mike have a heart to heart#you can just see on her face when she realizes who Mike is#like literally once he brings up Garrett and what happened to him#you can just see it on Vanessa’s face that just had things click in her mind#she even apologizes later about knowing and not telling him#I can only imagine what was going on inside Vanessa’s head in this scene#she must of been full on panicking#just totally losing it but keeping a straight face for Mike#ITS SO WILD#I feel bad for Vanessa#truly her father threw her in the middle of his evil deeds#she truly didn’t deserve to have this weight on her shoulders 😭
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Imagen how entertaining it would be if these 2 interact. And I'm a fan of possessive/jealous/protective Stolas (Which I don't see enough of <(_ _)>)
#helluva boss#Stolitz#Stolas#Blitz#blitzø#emberlynn pinkle#Honestly had no idea what to do with the coloring#So I just went crazy. Tried stuff and made them work#OK but this oddly gave me angsty idea#Of Stolas trying to use his magic out of habit/instinct#Only for him to be reminded that he CAN'T#Reopening that wound over and over#How did this sad thought come from a silly drawing???#Fun fact: I tried to use Stolas clothes from the trailer but couldn't tell if he's wearing pants.#So I just drew him in a fancy ones.#Kido art#My art#My stuff
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truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.
during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.
he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.
the peak lords think he's cursed.
maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.
it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.
maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.
of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.
this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!
even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.
they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!
maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.
luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.
for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.
shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.
#i like the idea of sqq sort of disassociating every time he talks with the system#like his eyes go unfocused and he goes quiet and doesnt seem to hear what others are saying#and the others always thought that was odd but hey. whatever. until some strange *thing* started showing up#i do also like the idea of the system slowly allowing sqq more liberties#bc its decided it likes this storyline#liu qingge comes to cleanse sqqs meridians and gets red with anger when the system pops up in sqqs eyes#but then sqq reaches out to him and says ''no. it... likes you.''#the system doesnt (cant) really like anyone. but its gifting him friendship points when liu qingge visits him and that's positive?#liu qingge doesnt see it as positive and gets even more mad because what do you MEAN this monster enitity ''likes him''????#liu qingge is going to kill it the first chance he has!!#yue qingyuan talks about a mission looking for volunteers and you can *see* his face fall when the blue box appears#''it wants you to go. doesn't it?'' ''this shidi would like to join this mission.'' ''i understand.''#sometimes the blue box appears and sqq looks *stricken*. like he just saw something really awful#but he just cant talk about it#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#mu qingfang#system svsss#svsss au#reveal au
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more dragon
#my sketches#one piece#monkey d luffy#monkey d dragon#monkey d garp#real talk and jokes aside i think dragons childhood with garp wasn’t all that bad#since he actually was a marine at some point right so he must have at the very least respected garp#garps way of raising a kid that actually wanted to be a marine must have been somewhat different too#all in all i think leaving luffy to garp wouldn’t sound like such a weird thought to dragon ??#i get why hed go there i mean#garp tho……………..#what was that man even thinking………………….
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fast and furious finale perhaps?
#wild life smp#wild life fanart#life series#joel smallishbeans#he's in the car believe me#grian#fell from the tree and died haha#don't know what my thought process was#drew this the night after the finale i was barely awake#i was sad when someone was mean to joel's car(#it's a good car
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emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀
more:
#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#emma dupain cheng#emma agreste#(i think that may the more popular tag for her lol. she is a dupain cheng in my heart though)#plagg#she is thirteen almost fourteen here btw. because i love circularity#emma dupain cheng to me is like. what if emilie or adrien grew up in a stable home with no trauma. that’s emma#and she is theater kid✨#and adrien and marinette are soooo so so supportive and love going to her shows and are so proud of her#/marinette has to be held back from trying to manipulate the school play casting process to secure emma the lead every year#but then emma sets her sights on bigger things(broadway west end)#and adrien pumps the breaks big time#and he’s so torn between supporting her interests and wanting so badly to keep her from like. being a child actor. having a job. b#being pulled from school#and emma gets upset bc he is standing in the way of her dreams#and they fight about it:(#and then emma discovers plagg and convinces him to help her sneak out and go to her callback that she secretly auditioned for#(and forged all the parent signatures for lol)#and. well. plagg CAN be bribed#and also she just reminds him so much of baby adrien🤧 he is a softie#and she runs away to her callback. and adrien and marinette wake up the next morning and see on the news that there is a new chat noir.#anyway. not that i’ve thought about it or anything
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
#WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT THEYD BE MY FAVORITES. THIS TOTALLY WASNT EXPECTED. NOT AT ALL.#i have lots of persona art its just uncolored dw#doing the shujin trio next i miss them so bad☹️☹️ also i need pegoryu content to stay sane and alive#anyway they're like. actually fucking insane 💀💀💀💀#like lawlight level toxic yaoi its so absurd#like i was like damn soukoku is intense WHO ARE THESE FREAKS#WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LIKE THIS.#ACTUALLY FUCKING INSANE. LIKE EXTREMELY MENTAL AND SICK IN THE HEAD.#AKECHI IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH#god they actually make me so fucking AUAUAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH#i NEED to finish royal shidos palace GUTTED ME#they were initially so funny to me bc right off the bat you can tell how much of a FREAK akechi is just paraphrasing hegel#and being so ferevently obsessed with ren its like bro why is this guy straightup dickriding us for telling him we like our eggs well done#ANYWAY their dynamic always felt so sad to me bc it was akechi just desperately clawing for what ren had the entire time ☹️#and the more he realized how worthless he was in comparison the more mentally unhinged he became until he actually broke#me when the trope is “the love was there but it wasn't enough to save them” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (FUCKING DEVASTATING)#ermmm anyway yea they're neat. ig#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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Horikoshi was insane for this callback
#That went from “We” to “I” pretty fast#didn't it#He clearly remembered what he told Izuku#and not just that#he was really proud of his statement#nahhh bro thought he was slick switching that we to an I…#anime#mha#bnha#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#bakudeku#izuku midoriya
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#analysis#dissociation#look idk what to tell you all#I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations#he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything#literally I've been there#the difference between him and me tho#is that he can't show it#he's the king of hell#he has to bluff his way through conversations#but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind#and watch him reply to the things he DID catch#anyways#NEW BLORBO????#who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel#and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character#I love him#he's so sad
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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doylist explanation for why Gidel is only in Fellow's non-idle lesson animations: probably something about space constraints and making sure two sprites in one seat aren't covering anyone else when they're not in focus
watsonian explanation for why Gidel is only in Fellow's non-idle lesson animations: he snuck in and is hiding from the teachers, don't give him away 🤫
(I've reached my limit of unsuccessful attempts at pulling them before I need to save keys for Halloween, so I've been living vicariously through youtube videos...but the fact that Gidel just pops up from under the desk to wave his arms around happily is really testing my resolve. D: I'm gonna die when they finally get to do alchemy...)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#i hope you didn't think i was done with these dorks#they're here to study and also steal everything (including our hearts)#i forget if rollo has a similar line about what he's doing at nrc but i imagine he made sure it was all meticulously above-board#carefully planned out and all his papers in precise order#meanwhile fellow kicks down the door and is like 'what up birdman i'm here to learn some HISTORY'#'also this is my emotional support child. ...wait what do you mean you have precedent for this'#(he does have another home screen line that's like)#('i thought ortho was weird when i met him')#('but now i'm realizing that this school is actually just incredibly buckwild all the time')#sigh. i know fellow and gidel's adventures at nrc are non-canon but i really just want this random adult man inexplicably just there.#the more twst becomes cromartie high the happier i am
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