#what happened months ago for them also happened months ago for you

[bcksbarnes]

shelter from the storm

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: an incident has left you scarred, rattled and some nights unable to sleep. your boyfriend, bucky, knows how to calm you down in those moments.

word count: 4K

there was a life before the incident and a life after it, and these days it was harder for you to remember the former. obviously this was something out of your control, something that neither of you ever saw coming, especially not bucky, but it did and you now had to suffer the consequences. 

it happened a few months ago, and whenever your mind seemed to wander back to that day you tried your best to focus on the moments leading up to it; the ones filled with smiles and two steady heartbeats. 

you and bucky had started that day how you started every normal sunday morning, a trip to your favorite bagel shop followed by a walk along the east river. with both of you being so busy, it allowed you some proper time to get caught up with each other. the two of you talked about your week, if anything serious was going on, or sometimes even something as mundane as remembering that you needed to add paper towels to the shopping list.

it was your ritual and your sacred time together.

neither of you could have anticipated what would happen next, and for some reason bucky had his guard down that day - and he’d never forgive himself for it.

he had gotten a call from steve in the middle of your walk, his hand was tightly clutched around yours, the tone in his voice shifting from calm to something a bit colder - more serious. bucky had obvious signs of when he was concerned, his brow would furrow and his jaw would lock up, the vein in the side of his neck becoming visible. he also didn’t look you in the eye when he was worried, it was as if he didn’t want you to see how bad things were, you could always tell when you looked into his eyes.

you remember him telling steve he’d ‘be there soon’ before he hung up. it had taken him a moment before he turned to face you again, your eyes locking immediately. something had shifted in the air in that moment, the feeling deep in your gut telling you that whatever was about to happen was different than all the other times. you felt the anxiety bubbling deep in your stomach, the words of apprehension sticking to the back of your throat. whatever was coming had arrived and that steve needed bucky immediately; he would confirm your suspicions a few moments later.

the city was being invaded by a group of underground hydra terrorists, steve had been tracking them for months but each lead had turned up cold. they were better at hiding themselves this time, they were ready to attack. which now called for bucky to spring into action, because that’s what heroes did. you knew what you were signing up for when you started dating bucky, though it never made it any easier.

hesitation radiated off of him, he didn’t want to leave you alone and he hated that this was all happening during your time together, but you assured him that he had to go. he told you to get yourself somewhere safe. he told you to go home. he pressed his lips to your forehead, and whispered a quick ‘i’ll see you soon’, a promise that he always kept. but before you could reach out to him and utter your own words back he was gone, swept away with the wind; gone as if there wasn’t a trace he had been there to begin with.

your gut always twisted into knots when there was a fight like this that required bucky.the weight of the world was on his shoulders while the impending unknown if he would come back safe was on yours. but, you decided instead of worrying about it to listen to bucky’s words, heading back into the direction where your apartment building was, knowing that you’d be safe once you got inside.

what would happen next was something neither you, nor bucky, ever planned on happening. this is where your memory gets hazy. you remember the feeling of being struck in the back of the head, the way that your blood all but felt like it suddenly ran cold and the loud ringing in your ears as you fell to the ground. then it was pitch black.

the moments after being struck always came back to you in bits and pieces. 

voices, distant and distorted, are what pulled out of the darkness on that day.

the warehouse that you were tied up in was cold, pieces of shattered glass scattered around the floor. there was a trickling of water droplets somewhere in the distance, if your head wasn’t killing you from the pain the sound would have drove you mad.

there were three men who watched over you, each carrying a bigger gun than the last. everything that bucky ever taught you about self defense and getting yourself out of a situation like this had seemed to disappear from your brain. in theory, you knew exactly what to do. in practice, you couldn’t remember anything, the adrenaline and fear of what was happening to you was overpowering. it also didn’t help that the blood that ran down your neck from where they struck you in the back of your head was making it hard to concentrate. you were losing blood pretty quickly still. the wound must have been deep.

you were just a civilian, but the hydra patch they wore on their arm told you all you needed to know. they were there to kill you, to make the winter soldier pay for his betrayal. 

the hardest part about these memories is how blurry some of them were, one moment you could remember every detail and the next it was just a haze. the only thing that seemed to stick was the fear that you felt. you knew you were going to die and that bucky had no idea that you needed help. 

in those final moments where one of the men held the chains that you were bound by and the other held the tip of the gun right to your temple, the only thought that was running through your head was that you were so sorry you couldn’t tell bucky you loved him one last time, that you couldn’t say goodbye. you knew you screamed for help, but the echo of the room was all that you remembered. your eyes closed, bracing yourself for the end of your life. bucky barnes’s face burned into your mind one last time.

BANG

and that’s usually where you woke up, in a cold sweat, your hands shaking and your stomach tied into knots - the feeling of bile rising in your throat. your eyes raked over the dark room, your hand on your chest as you panted. find three things in the room, you told yourself immediately. you frantically tried to remember your therapist's instructions, three things that were tangible and real in your everyday life to bring you back to reality. the lamp on the bedside table, that’s one. 

your eyes graze over bucky’s body next to you. he’s sleeping on his stomach, his arms wrapped around the pillow under his head as he sleeps peacefully. bucky’s pillow, that’s two.

but you desperately couldn’t think of a third because tonight the memories felt like they were pulling you underwater, crashing onto you so you could sink. 

it was moments like this that were overwhelming, your chest would tighten and the way your throat seemed to constrict at the thoughts made it almost impossible to catch your breath. so, you decided to get up from the bed. maybe you just needed a second to yourself.

you’re careful not to wake bucky as you swing your legs over, making sure that the bed didn’t make any noise as it moved under your weight. it was rare that he was able to sleep so peacefully, the guilt would have eaten you alive if you  woke him up.

tiptoeing your way out of the bedroom, you softly close the door behind you as you make your way into the living room of the apartment. this apartment was a space you loved with all your heart. you could still remember when bucky had mentioned that he wanted to live together, that he had never felt anything like this before, the pull of the love you shared was just too overwhelming to ignore. it scared you, and it terrified him, but together the two of you made the leap together. hand in hand. 

you two had made bucky’s apartment feel more like a shared space. when you had started the process of moving in together, he didn’t even have a proper bed yet, and now the space was not only cared for - but it looked lived in, like there was a happy couple occupying the space … well, because there was.

grabbing a blanket, you made your way out onto the balcony that overlooked the city. you didn’t realize you were still shaking until you went to drape it over your shoulders as you sat down on the wicker sofa, the dark cushions sinking slightly. the nightmares were less frequent, thanks to therapy, but when they came back it was always a toss up if the feeling was going to pass quickly or destroy you. tonight was the latter.

it was still very early in the morning, the sky was starting to lighten the dark midnight hues turning into cooler brighter tones, but it still had that feeling of nighttime; where it’s quiet and there’s a feeling in the air that the world is asleep.

the nightmare you had is still haunting you, even with the change of scenery. maybe you were lucky that you couldn’t remember what happened next, like your mind was trying to shield you from having to relive every part of it, but it still did nothing to ease your tension.

apparently, from what bucky told you, he and steve were tipped off that you were being held hostage. they were able to get to you before anything had happened. the sound of the gun going off was from the shot bucky took to disarm the man who was about three seconds from putting a bullet in your head. the panic that flooded your body mixed with the loss of blood from the head injury you sustained made you pass out almost immediately.

bucky said he thought you were dead, that he thought he was too late, until he felt your warm body and faint pulse. you woke up in a hospital the next morning where he explained everything to you. you still remember the tears in his eyes when you woke up. if you could recall correctly, you don’t think you’ve ever seen tears in his eyes. relief had flooded both of you in that moment. though the adjustment to life afterwards was not easy.

most days you couldn’t leave the apartment without checking over your shoulder. at first, bucky wouldn’t let you go out alone, even if you were meeting friends he made sure to drop you off and pick you up. it helped, it made you feel at ease, but one day he sat you down and told you that you had to start living your life again not in fear. it killed him to have to say it, he never wanted you to think that he would not protect or care for you, but he also knew that letting the demons win would just make things worse. he knew it all too well.

that’s partly why you hadn’t wanted to wake him before, you tried your best to handle this yourself because there was no one who would do it for you. but, as always, bucky seemed to know when you were struggling, when you needed that extra care.

the door to the balcony opened causing you to turn your head. bucky was standing there, his hair was splayed in all different directions and sleep clung deeply to the features on his face as he had obviously had just woken up.

“hey,” he says once his eyes land on you. his voice is raspy and deep, you can hear him clear it a bit before he speaks again. “you okay?”

bucky closed the door behind him before joining you. he had thrown a sweatshirt over his once bare chest, his boxers hanging a bit low as he sat down, his arm resting on the back of the couch. 

when you don’t respond right away he moves his hand down to your shoulder, the plush blanket soft against his palm, pulling you into his side, his hand rubbing up and down your arm soothingly. you weren’t so sure how he always knew, but you always took the comfort whenever possible.

“it’s been hard.” you say softly, your voice cracking a bit.

“i know.” he whispers in your ear, his lips pressed to the top of your forehead. 

it was difficult to not feel selfish in these moments. bucky had been through worse pain than you could ever imagine. having a life ripped away from him, and being tortured to do unspeakable things is not the same as what you went through, and it felt selfish in these moments that you were in pain, that you needed comforting. he never felt that way though, you had helped him so much over the years with his own nightmares, and his own moments that were filled with ptsd, the comfort he was bringing to you now was the least he could do.

“everytime i think i’ve moved past it, it paralyzes me.”

bucky hums in response, the ache in his chest growing with every second. how was he supposed to take away your pain? how was he supposed to make this right? the guilt that he wasn’t there to protect you until you were already hurt gnaws at him, and in moments like these the hatred he felt for himself, and the men that did this, bubbles so deep in his gut. 

you could feel your body tense up again, your hands shaking despite bucky’s comforting touch as the memories flash again once more; like you were spiraling into an emptiness you couldn’t get out of.

the sound of their boots approaching.

the feel of the cold metal of the gun as it was pressed against your temple.

the soul shattering sound of it being cocked.

“hey, hey.” bucky’s voice is hasty as he tries to snap you out of his, his metal hand moving under your chin to tilt your head up towards him. “look at me.”

you can feel your head move up but your gaze stays averted from his, there was this deep sense of distress and shame that flowed through you. your body felt like it was still moments away from death, while your mind reprimanded you for not fighting back, for giving up so easily.

“please,” bucky begs, his voice filled with a tinge of desperation. “i need you to look at me.”

how could you deny a request like that? your eyes shift over to him, you didn’t realize how close your faces were at first so you sit back a bit so you can properly look at him. his gaze was soft and his heart was beating out of his chest, as it so often did when you spared him a passing glance.

“there they are.” he breathes out, his eyes searching yours.

his thumb swipes against your skin softly, and you want to literally melt into a puddle. no one else would ever know this version of bucky barnes and, selfishly, you wanted to keep it that way. 

“buck, i can’t do it. i feel like i’m going insane sometimes.” you say, the tension in your voice seeping through. “most nights i don’t want to sleep because i don’t know if the nightmares will come, and when they do i feel like i’m being suffocated. it’s almost worth it to just stay awake and suffer through being tired.”

bucky’s heart sunk even further at the feelings you were describing, this was exactly what he went through. in the beginning, it was much worse as if even closing his eyes for a moment would cause everything to bubble to the surface. but, with all the therapy that he had to go through as part of the conditions of his pardon, it was better. not gone, but better. 

“this should have never happened to you,” he whispers, his metal hand sliding down your chin to hold the side of your neck, keeping his touch firm against you. he won’t admit out loud that this is all his fault, but it eats him alive to know he put you in harm's way. “i won’t let anything happen to you again. do you understand me?”

you so hopelessly wanted to believe what he’s saying, but bucky couldn’t be everywhere at once - as much as he wanted to be. his grasp on you tightens a bit, not in a way that would hurt you, in a way that signals how desperately he wants you to know how true his words are. 

“you can’t be everywhere –”

“do you understand me?” he cuts you off, his voice insistent. the look in his eyes was serious as he tried to get you to understand. “i will never let anyone hurt you again.”

you nod your head to answer him, your hands that were still trembling move to grasp his wrist, the metal of his arm is smooth to the touch. why was this nightmare so hard to fight off? why did you feel so empty and hollow inside except for the gut feeling of pure, unadulterated fear?

bucky watches you close your eyes, he scans over your face watching as your brows furrow and your nose crinkles. he knows you well enough that you can’t stop thinking about what happened, that your mind is working over time. he also knows that you’re about five seconds away from crying - he can anticipate all your movements, he knows your tells, he’s memorized every single one of them. 

you can feel the lump in the back of your throat start to form, and the way your face feels hot. your brain is screaming at you to not cry. but soon, the tears fall down your cheek, though they don’t travel any further before bucky swipes them away, the hand that’s on your back pulling you closer to him. you drape your legs next to you on the couch as you tuck your head under his chin, letting out a soft sob out into his chest, the fabric of his sweatshirt soft against your face. all of the thoughts, the fears, come flooding out of you in that moment, and as the sun begins to peak out, all you can do is let it all out.

“i’ve got you.” bucky whispers into your hair as he holds you, his hand rubbing your back softly. “you’re safe.”

the words were uttered over and over again, his voice is soft in your ear and you can feel him rock the both of you back and forth delicately, as if he’s trying to soothe you. he’s never been great at comforting people - actually, it took until the two of you started dating for him to be exposed to such emotions for the first time in probably decades. 

now, he knew your sweet spots, he knew that you liked to be held close so he always had a hand on you. he knew that during these moments when the flashbacks were heavy that you needed something to pull you back down to earth, which is why he whispered so softly to you. and he knew that sometimes it took you ten minutes and sometimes it took you all day to get out of the funk, but either way he’d be there for you.

bucky’s metal hand moved from your cheek to the nape of your neck, combing through the strands of hair that started there. though it wasn’t flesh, and the metal was often cold to the touch, there was a warmth to it that made your breath hitch - quieting your sobs for a second.

“shhhh…” bucky hushed you, his nose buried in the top of your head breathing in your scent.

his own eyes closed as he relished in the moment for a while, it might have pained him to see you so upset, but there was something about the intimate act of holding you that just felt so right to him. 

the images in your mind flash again, the phantom pain in the back of your head softly throbbing as you feel another sob force its way out. your hand that’s resting on bucky’s chest grabs a fistful of his sweatshirt, the fabric is tight within your grasp as the anger and hurt tumbles out of you.

bucky peppers kisses to the top of your head over and over again until you eventually calm down, feeling the way your shoulders sink and how your sobs turn into bated soft breaths. he mumbles your name softly, trying to get your attention again, and when you hum in response, he speaks.

“you need to get some sleep. you’re exhausted.”

he was right, so you pulled back to look at him, your eyes puffy and red, your lip still quivering. 

“i can’t.” you shake your head. you hate feeling this way, so … so … vulnerable. you weren’t fragile, but something about this attack had shaken you. maybe it was because you almost died, sure that probably was it, but maybe also because they were there to kill bucky, that they used both of you to hurt the other. 

the idea of going back to sleep again and reliving it once more was terrifying to think of right now.

“can we just … stay out here a little longer?” you ask, hoping that he didn’t push it. 

the look on his face was one that was not too thrilled with your question. he was navigating this chapter of life and that included learning to take care of someone he loved, and he was torn between wanting you to get rest so you felt better, and understanding that you knew what was best for yourself.

he swallows all the words he wants to say, because an argument would do nothing to cure you, and making this more difficult than it needs to be is the last thing on his mind. so, instead, he nods his head and leans back a bit more so you can lay your head down on his lap. your cheek pressed against his thigh. warm. tangible. the third thing needed to come back to reality, you think to yourself. how fitting it would be that you would find it now.

the world around you was just starting to wake up. in the distance alarm clocks would be blaring and people would be making their cups of coffee. the darkness of the morning was still barely there despite the sunrise, it was a haze that always seemed to stick around longer.

“i don’t know what i’d do without you.” you finally whisper to him, a thank you that needed no other explanation.

bucky’s hand stills for a fleeting moment, the words hitting him square in the chest, because it’s exactly the same thing he was thinking about you. he doesn’t respond, instead opting to lean down and press a kiss to your cheek. a few seconds passing before he peppers two more on your skin, your skin tingling from where his lips had just been. a tender moment in the midst of a night filled with palpable tension.

there on the balcony as bucky softly played with your hair, and the two of you sat in silence as the day settled, you could finally breathe again. you were safe and alive - and in bucky’s arms, you were loved.

[whatifitis]

♡ come home with me - LN 4 ♡

Summary: what will happen when lando is finally in the same room as his crush? Will he play his cards right as a mastermind or will he fumble the deck?

Authors Note: this is my first fic in a month so bear with the shit as I try to relearn lol

WC: 1840

CW: Lando being tipsy, lando slightly panicking, fluff, I think that’s it

Everyone knew who Lando's crush was. The boy couldn’t make it any more obvious. Anywhere he went, all he could do was talk about you. He was always praising you for the work you did and how down to earth you were. Lando would also be caught practically drooling over any picture of you whether it was you on a billboard in the middle of the city or a photo on his feed.

Oscar is pretty sure there’s footage from a Mclaren video shoot where Lando spotted a poster of you on a wall and asked Oscar to take a photo of him next to it. The boy had the cheesiest smile on his face as crinkles appeared near his eyes.

Lando was often teased for being so down bad for you. A lot of the guys in the garage would joke about how he would probably faint if he ever got to meet you, or even be in the same room as you. However, the boy always insisted that he would remain calm and collected if that day ever came, claiming that he would pretend to not know you and play the role of the dark and mysterious guy that would intrigue you to the point where he would be all you thought about.

One day, Zak Brown got the idea to make a bet with Lando. There was an event coming up soon where all the F1 drivers and their teams would be in attendance to raise money for a few charities. Many celebrities were invited to bolster the event, you being one of them.

Zak had bet Lando that if you ended up making an appearance, that Lando would be a fumbling mess and would not be able to get your number. Lando being Lando took on the bet. With a firm handshake and $1,000 on the line, the deal was set.

The day of the event comes up and Lando is absolutely shitting bricks. He’s getting ready in the hotel room and losing his mind about the rumors that you’ll actually be at the event.

“Mate, they’re saying she’s actually coming. Even this fan account said it and whenever they post something, it’s true! Oh my god, Max. I might meet her today!” Lando all but yells as he drops his phone in disbelief.

“Listen, mate. Breathe. You assigned me the role of wingman for tonight so it’ll be okay. Right?” Max states calmly, trying to get his best friend to tone it down for a second.

“Right. How does my hair look? Is it okay? Does it look shit? Fuck, I knew I should’ve had it cut ages ago. What if she thinks I don’t clean up?! What if she thinks I’m a mess?! Fuuuuuck! It’s over. I’ve already fucked it.”

“You haven’t fucked it…yet.”

Lando scoffs and pulls a face at Max’s words.

“I’m kidding you muppet. Your hair is fine-”

“Fine?! Just fine?! This is Y/n we’re talking about. Not just some random person. Y/n deserves the best. I have to be the best.”

“Okay… Your hair is amazing. Literally the best it’s ever looked. She is goin-”

“I don't appreciate your sarcasm…”

“I’m no-” Max tries to argue but quickly gives up. Instead opting to pinch the bridge of his nose and take some breaths himself, “Just put your shoes on. We’re leaving in 5 minutes.” he says as he turns his back to Lando and walks towards the bathroom.

“Wait but-”

“5 minutes!” Max says with his back still towards Lando, raising 5 fingers above his head just to give Lando a visual representation of how long he has.

-=+=-

The boys hadn’t even been at the event for an hour and Lando was already quite tipsy. To calm his nerves, Lando decided to have a drink… or 4… This whole time, Lando stood in a corner with a drink in one hand and his phone in the other, constantly checking his feed to see if you’d arrived yet. As time passed, he began to wonder if you were really gonna show.

Lando was about to give up and leave the event when an echo of screams could be heard from a distance. The boy immediately pulled out his phone and checked social media, refreshing the page over and over again until he saw it. At the top of his feed was a blurry video of you walking through the doors of the building he was currently standing in.

“Max! Max! MAX!” Lando yelled, trying to get his friends' attention.

“What? What? WHAT?!” Max yelled back.

“Y/n just walked into the building!”

“Oh yeah. I know.”

“... You know?”

“Yeah. I was talking to Zak earlier and he said that she was on her way.”

“You knew and you didn’t tell me?!”

Max giggled “Yeah. Wanted to see your reaction when she walked through the doors after you moped around for an hour.”

“I was not moping.” Lando frowned.

“You were and you-” Max’s voice drifted into silence as Lando’s gaze shifted to the main entrance. He watched as you walked through the doors and it was like time stopped. You were enchanting. Lando watched your beauty in real time, breath slowing as he tried to process.

You were wearing a blush pink dress that hugged your figure perfectly, flowing down to your feet with a slit on the side. Your skin glowed in the dim light, sparkles appearing in your eyes as you smiled at everyone around you. It was like you were the only girl in the world, at least that’s how it seemed to Lando. It was like you took all the air in the room and replaced it with a feeling that was so overwhelming yet so gratifying.

Lando was stuck in place as you elegantly wandered through the room, sharing smiles with strangers as Lando wished he was one of them. Just for a moment. He wished that he could be one of those strangers, even if it meant he only got a small moment with you, knowing it may never lead to anything more.

He was only able to escape your enchantment when he watched your silhouette make its way towards him. Lando shook his head and panicked, quickly chugging the rest of his drink and turning to place it on the table behind him.

“Don’t come on too strong.” Max had leaned over and whispered into Lando’s ear as you approached.

In the blink of an eye, you were standing in front of Lando and it was as if he had the air knocked out of him. He couldn’t believe that you were in front of him. That you had walked over to him… on purpose.

You smiled with rosy cheeks as you opened your mouth to speak “Hi, I’m-”

“Come home with me.” Lando had blurted out.

“Sorry?” you asked, confusion spread across your face.

“I’m the man who’s gonna marry you.” Lando gulped, “I’m Lando.”

Your eyes moved to look at Max as you asked “Is he always like this?”

With a tight smile, Max replied “Yes”

“I’m Y/n.”

Lando smiled “Your name is like a melody.”

“Are you a musician or?” you asked. You had known of Lando. People often tagged you in videos or photos of him and your friends loved to send you any video of him where he fawned over you. You weren’t gonna lie, you did think he was cute. To be completely honest, he was the main reason you even came to this event. You always tried to avoid attending events like this to avoid unnecessary headlines of “who was y/n with at this party?!”. But, you made an exception tonight.

“I drive cars… and I like to play video games.”

“Oh a driver and a player. I’ve met a lot of guys like you.” you tease.

“No, wait. I’m not like that.” Lando says, panic lacing his face as he fears he’s already messed up his chance.

Max watches as Lando begins to throw himself in the deep end and decides to butt in for a moment, “He’s not like any man you’ve met.”

“How so?” you question, raising an eyebrow at Lando.

“I’m not perfect by any means. And I can’t promise that, if given the chance, being with me will be easy and happy all the time. I mess up a lot. But I can promise to do everything in my power to make all the time with me worth it. I’ll take any broken pieces and make them whole, well, as whole as they can be. We could be something and make something so beautiful that the world seems in tune.” he smiles before it drops and he panics again, “I’M NOT SAYING ANYTHING LIKE BABIES. I MEAN I WANT THEM ONE DAY BUT NOT SOON. I DON’T WANNA PRESSURE YOU. FUCK! Okay, just- All I’ll say is all the flowers will bloom when you become my wife.”

“Oh! He’s crazy.” you joke and spare a look at Max, “Why would I become his wife?”

“Maybe because he’ll make you feel alive.” Max states matter of factly.

“Alive? That’s worth a lot, ya know. What else ya got?” you excitingly ask Lando.

“Uhm, I won’t make you relate to ‘All Too Well’ by Taylor Swift?”

“That sounds good, Mr. Norris. I’ll be in touch.” you say whilst trying to stifle a laugh, turning your back to the two boys and making your way to mingle with some of your colleagues and friends.

Watching you walk away, Lando lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding and basks in the fact that he shot his shot and now he’s one step closer to achieving his dream. Also not to mention that Zak now owes him $1,000. Maybe Zak will tattoo today’s date as well.

After a moment, Lando felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He goes to grab it and stills when he sees the most recent notification.

“HOLY FUCK!!” you heard from a distance, “SHE JUST FOLLOWED ME BACK! HOLY FUCK! OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!.... FUCK WINNING MIAMI! THIS IS MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT!... wait… how did she-”

“She probably gave the go ahead to her social media manager.” Max mentions.

All of a sudden, Lando felt a hard smack land on the back of his head, turning to look at Max.

“What the hell?!”

“You’re lucky you’re rich and handsome. Who the fuck says “come home with me” to someone they’ve never spoken to?! If you were just a random man, you would’ve ended up with a restraining order and not an instagram follow.”

“Well, I never said I was smart.”

“Yeah. We know.” Max says as he pats Lando on the back and drapes his arm over the boys shoulders, “Let’s get you back to the hotel, mate. Before you’re too drunk to walk and I have to carry you.”

“Drunk off joy.” Lando smiles.

[fluffy-feathers23]

The ISAT Critter-beasts

I finished playing hit game In Stars and Time a month ago, and it's been on my mind nonstop ever since. in fact, since i finished the game, I've been working on. this exact post . I wanted to draw the characters, but i have a lot of trouble drawing normal people, so i made them all part animal !!

I might come back and redo that sketch later, but with just the height chart thing, the start of this post felt empty. so i'm including it anyway. please excuse any errors, i was working on it really late at night, right before my birthday (which happens to be the day i'm posting this, by the way !!!)

I've taken to calling these particular designs the "Critterbeast" versions, because it's fun to say and if i can't have fun thinking about them, then what's the point, right? :3 They're very Critter, but also very Beast. Critter-Beast.

Unsure on if this counts as an entire AU, but i have a lot of headcanons that could be considered part of one, i guess? This will be a long post so i'm cutting it here for dashboards but Keep Reading if you want to see my headcanons/AU 'canon' and a few extra design notes for everyone! Also includes some ever-changing playlists if you want to listen to them.

Siffrin

Animal: Guinea Pig - I started with Hamster, but since he denies looking like one in game, i thought it would be more fun to do something that looks like a hamster, but isn't!

When really excited about something (and sometimes when startled), Sif hops around and jumps up to a foot off the ground, which is called "pop-corning". They can also make flawless guinea pig noises, for obvious reasons.

The worse Siffrin feels mentally the colder they feel physically, which is noticeable by the rest of the party. It starts around mid-act 2, but Siffrin himself doesn't even notice it until act 3, and by act 4, they're visibly shivering whenever they stop moving, and every part of their body feels cold to the touch under their cloak, despite the thermo-regulation Crafted into it.

In act 5, Siffrin is CONSTANTLY shivering, EVERYTHING feels like ice, including the cloak, and it doesn't truly stop in act 6 or even post-game, though it does continue to only show up when they feel generally bad.

In addition, the colder they feel, the hotter everything else feels - all sources of warmth turn into a raging fire, including party member's healing abilities, which fill Siffrin's entire body with the heat of all the stars in the universe until they're over.

Completely refuses to drink Sweet Tonics or eat most sweet foods post-game. If it tastes too much like just sugar, or stars forbid, winds up burnt, he just can't handle it anymore.

Really likes stuffed animals, especially ones that are weighted. Every time there's a window display with one in it, Sif will stand there and just kinda. stare at it for a bit. Isabeau made them their own fox plushie as a gift and it's now their favorite thing ever and if they lost it, they would probably die.

The party chips in whatever they have to get him a new plushie sometimes. Where he keeps all of them, i have no idea, but there's a new one every few months. If Sif had one place to stay, their room would be filled with so many plushies.

Isabeau

Animal: Liger - I also considered Bear, but he has such Lion energy to me. and then i got to the coloring stage and thought the lack of patterns on lions would be really boring so i gave him stripes. wound up a bit more tiger than lion, woops !

Instinctively hugs and kneads pillows in his sleep, stretches like a cat, and makes growling noises instead of just yawning. Occasionally gets the urge to rip food apart with his bare hands, but somehow manages to resist. Most of the time.

Used to be a different animal entirely, before using a specialized sub-section of Body Craft to change it. Started leaning really hard into the behaviors of lions and tigers afterwards, and has been trying to break out of them a bit more, recently.

Still prefers black, but is known to experiment with all kinds of different colors of nail polish to match with outfits, including painting his claws. Rarely uses hair dye, unless it works really well with something he's willing to wear for a while.

Loves making gifts for people by hand, and has made at least one thing for each person in the party, as well as people they interact with often enough, like Loop or Petronille (once getting to know them well enough, that is)

Mirabelle

Animal: Dog/Poodle - I'll be honest there's not much basis beyond just Vibes for the majority of these characters. Mirabelle just kinda gives me small-ish dog vibes and poodle fits the best overall, i think.

Claude & the Head Housemaiden are both wolves, so Mira has picked up a handful of behaviors from them. Most importantly howling, whether communicating where you are, or just as a release of different emotions. She doesn't do it very often, but when she does, the rest of the party tends to join in.

Odile

Animal: Crane - I knew Odile was going to be a bird of some kind, but it was hard to narrow it down, so i just went with "general crane/heron". though i did most heavily reference the common crane and red-crowned crane, in terms of color and patterns.

[Note here to add the playlist when there's enough songs]

Her book is full of various different notes, from thoughts about a new food, to details about other party members she needs to know for later - she rarely shares what she writes about, but everyone knows it will come back around later on, eventually.

Sometimes the party will ask Odile to share stories of things from Ka Bue, like the Expressions. She doesn't quite remember most of them, there's just so many, but she's more than happy to share what ones she does know if they feel relevant to the current situation or particular person that's asking.

While Siffrin was being controlled by Loop, it wasn't particularly difficult to put together that something was wrong, but when Odile brought it up, everyone agreed that they should just give him some time to recover, and keep an eye on him just in case things got worse, so she didn't bring it up very often after that.

Bonnie

Animal: Crested Gecko - Bonnie just gives me lizard vibes, and crested geckos are just the silliest little lizards I've ever seen so it seemed perfect. I imagine Nille is some sort of bigger lizard like a crocodilian, but i admittedly haven't thought about her much.

[Another note here to add playlist with more songs]

The palms of their hands have the same "sticky pads" as gecko feet, so they're very good at climbing most surfaces. Bonnie uses this ability on a regular basis, mostly for things like trees and small cliffs.

Petronille was happy to join the party, but wanted to spend time with Bonnie at home for a while - so everyone has this agreement that, the next time they're all in Bambouche, Nille and Bonnie will join them on an adventure for real!

As of right now, Bonnie has yet to really meet Loop, and doesn't know about their new name. Mostly due to the fact that Loop only started showing up around the time Bonnie goes home, and they didn't regain their form until after the party left Bambouche.

Loop

THE character. my little guy. i want to pick them up and shake them around but they would probably kill me. This will be the longest section for any of the characters BY FAR so be prepared !!! :3

Animal: Silver Fox - It was hard to come up with something that made sense. Guinea pig would've still worked, but then it would've been hard to tell them apart from Siffrin in human form. There is a fox constellation, but that actually wasn't a factor in me making them a fox. I didn't find that out until after i already decided, though i did want the animal i chose to relate back to stars somehow, so it still works!

Prior to act 6, both of Loop's eyes were yellow, their colors were a lot duller, and they don't have the nebula cape. They get the cape after Siffrin's fight against the party, and their eye changes color during the fight with Siffrin.

Isabeau made their human form's cloak for them, after a lot of asking repeatedly, and Loop being unsure about what they would do with it, or if they even wanted a new one. Siffrin helped them out with some of the ideas, including the star clips.

Also really likes stuffed animals, but refuses to admit it, or even touch most of the plushies Siffrin gets. Some nights, Siffrin asks Loop to "hold onto" the fox plushie Isabeau made, which they secretly love and adore every single time, and doesn't seem to realize - or refuses to acknowledge - is Sif giving it to them, so they can have one too, even if only for a night.

Loop can still "check in" with Siffrin, just like they did at the Favor Tree - able to see and hear what's going on from their perspective, but not able to actually feel anything. They mostly just use this to talk, if there's something important Sif needs to know, or make sure they're okay, if they're farther away from each other.

Siffrin didn't want to fight Loop, at all, and obviously, Loop didn't give them a choice. But at some point they just. stop. give up. can't do it. Loop keeps it going, until it finally clicks that Siffrin isn't going to fight back anymore, but they stop a bit too late. Siffrin's so hurt now, the only thing Loop can do is keep them awake.

Loop fades away when everyone else comes for Siffrin, but. It's more like they went. "Dormant", i guess? They "wake up" later, able to watch everything that Siffrin does from his perspective, and eventually recover enough 'power' to take control of Siffrin's body.

No one really notices at first, but the more that Loop can control, and the more often they do it, the more obvious it becomes over time. Sometimes Siffrin just says something that's a bit off. or does something in a way that seems strange. but it wasn't enough to really pinpoint what was going on, especially since they still seemed to be recovering from the time loop.

Enough time passes, and Loop gets tired of having to control Siffrin in order to do anything, and the both of them split apart, somewhat hurting Sif in the process, but at least they're able to be their own people now. With the one limitation to it all being that Loop has to stay in a range where Siffrin can easily find them - usually, near Siffrin themself, but as long as Siffrin remembers where they are, it can be anywhere.

For a couple examples: If Siffrin remembers Loop is near the favor tree, then Loop can walk around anywhere in that area. And if they left Loop in a particular building, Siffrin would know they're in that building somewhere, so Loop can go just about anywhere they want while inside of it. If Loop wanted to follow someone somewhere, all Siffrin would need to do is find who they're with, and they find Loop, so that's also fine.

If they go too far from Siffrin, or their designated spot, they're automatically and forcefully pulled back in range of whatever they wind up tethered to, in order to ensure they do not get "lost".

After the split, Loop usually shows up as a small star, and initially prefers to use star-person form over human/"Siffrin" form when needing to interact with something, but grows to use the human form more often as time goes on. Mostly because it's harder to explain being a literal star than it is being Siffrin's "twin". definitely not more comfortable actually being themself.

Loop's stars emit a bit of heat, but their body itself is cold to the touch. The temperature difference is based on their emotional state. An angry enough Loop could radiate so much heat you would be burned by staying too close, but if you touched them, they would be freezing. A version of this can happen in "Sif-mode", where they get a lot hotter when they're upset. Basically an inverse of Siffrin's mental-freezing-feeling.

To everyone who's not part of the main party, Loop uses the name Anser, should they be asked for a name. It's taken them a long time to get used to it, and they still forget it sometimes, but it's getting easier to remember with everyone else using it in place of 'Loop' more and more as time goes on.

A bit of meta information, this name comes from the brightest star in the constellation Vulpecula ("little fox"), which used to be two animals for one constellation - a fox, and a goose - which was briefly split into two constellations, and then merged back into one, this time only named after the fox, but keeping the memory of the goose with that star's name.

I thought it sounded like a familiar sort of story, that perfectly aligned with everything else. and it's even from the fox constellation, like the universe preemptively told me to make them a fox, before i even knew it was a thing!!!!

So yeah anyway.

This is such a long post for me. lots of thoughts i have to get out there. Also very nervous about sharing this, but hey. you'll never know what people will say about something if you don't SHARE IT so i'm just going "fuck it we ball" at this point.

Sorry for not having much for some of the characters, i just. have a lot of things i need to say about Loop!.

I have a lot more thoughts about the world, post-game, and certain scenarios that i think would be fun, however this post is LOONG ENOUGH AS IT IIISSSSS and if i don't keep some of them to myself i will never get this posted so i will share them LATERRRR !!!!

Feel free to draw these designs if you want to, i would love to see them so much!!! Especially Loop!!!!!!!! And also if you have anything you want to ask me, or little ideas to add onto my headcanons, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THEM!!

Feel free to send them my way, and all your little questions will be answered!! I will likely not respond to things asked in reblogs to avoid this post from getting much longer, so it's best to put it in my askbox!!

[harrysgal]

SOMETHING DIFFERENT

harry styles x yn stylist — social media AU

I’ve been stuck with I dig your cinema for a while now, so I wanted to do something different to distract myself and somehow came up with this. Idk I just went along with this idea I had in mind and stopped when I reached the 30 pictures. Of course that means I didn’t get to finish it yet, but here it is anyway. Sorry if it sucks.

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liked by someone, bestie and 87k others 

magazine EXCLUSIVE: Jessie Moss and Harry Styles have split after nearly five months of dating. 

“Jessie and Harry have spent a lovely time together, but ultimately they just weren’t the right fit for one another,” says a rep for the actress.

Read the full statement at the link in our bio.

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harryone ???????? harrytwo i’m sorry but WHAT THE FUCK??  harrythree no way 😲   harryfour i’m so confused right now harryfive wasn’t he giving an interview and talking about her like a week ago?!  jessiefan1 well this sucks :( he really seemed to like her

harrysix this is ridiculous cmon. i fully refuse to believe it’s real harryseven first time he’s so public about a relationship and they just break up like this? OUT OF NOWHERE?

↳ harryeight that’s what i’ve been saying! the man was WHIPPED  ↳ harrynine this wasn’t mutual, i’ll tell you that much…. ↳ harryten also the fact that her fans are dead silent right now is soooo weird  ↳ harryeleven always knew she was too nice and cute to be true 

jandh4ever NO NO NO NO NO STOP  jandh4ever WHY WOULD THEY BREAK UP  jandh4ever THERE’S NO WAY THIS IS TRUE  jandh4ever NO WAY jandh4ever I DONT BELIEVE IT  jessiefan2 Guys, just read the article. Someone from Jessie’s team released the statement, so it’s real. They broke up, and that’s it. Let’s give them some privacy, it’s not our business. 

↳ harrytwelve i bet you’re all happy right now, arent you? you guys never supported harry as her bf even tho he was clearly really into her ↳ harrythirteen so true. what a despicable fandom 

harryfourteen oh boy :( hope they are both doing okay! 

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liked by harryone and 5,431 others 

harryupdates Harry in London today! 

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harryone baby was mad :( harrytwo no bc a fan said they didnt approach him bc they felt like he wasnt in the mood and i totally get them now harrythree he was supposed to be at the wedding, too :(  harryfour did you guys see that video on tiktok of someone saying they overheard him on the phone and apparently he was talking about jessie??

↳ harryfive yes but im not sure I believe them. I mean anyone can say anything just to get attention… 

harrysix this whole thing makes me so sad for him like he really doesnt seem ok :( harryseven the way he just turned around as soon as he saw the pap lol im laughing sorry

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liked by jessiefan1, jessieupdates and 35,891 others

magazine EXCLUSIVE: Jessie Moss spotted kissing longtime friend just one week after split from Harry Styles. 

The Golden Globe-nominated actress was spotted in her hometown attending her childhood best friend’s wedding—where she was also seen sharing a passionate moment with longtime friend Nathan Griffiths.

“It was meant to be,” a guest at the wedding shared. “We all knew. We were just waiting for Nathan to make a move.”

Another insider added, “They are really happy together. The timing is complicated, but they’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.”

The photos surfaced just days after Moss’ team released a statement confirming the split. “Jessie and Harry have spent a wonderful time together, but ultimately, they just weren’t the right fit for one another,” a representative for the actress told MAGAZINE.

Read the full article at the link in our bio.

read all 3,681 comments 

harryone damn  harrytwo oh my  harrythree well… I guess now we know what happened 🧍🏻‍♀️ harryfour no bc for her team to release the statement so fast before the wedding means she KNEW what was about to happen harryfive I can’t believe she would do this to him???? harrysix has anyone checked on myparents on twitter? girl must be losing it lol harryseven I’m so sad and disappointed I don’t even know what to say 😞  harryeight i had a feeling the break up was suss but damn… i didnt know i would end up hating that girl jessiefan1 i hope my baby doesn’t get canceled :( nathan and her have been friends for so long… it’s not a surprise they’ve always been in love with each other 

↳ harryfive if she’s always been in love with him then why did she even start dating someone else??? ↳ jessiefan1 ＠harryfour i mean, have you ever been in love with a friend? it’s not that easy… i’m sure she didn’t know this would end up happening… 

jessiefan2 can harry’s fans please leave jessie alone? she’s never said one bad word about him and it’s not like she chose to hurt him on purpose 

↳ harrysix really??? have you read the article??? bc it surely seems everyone but harry knew about this ↳ harrynine she didn’t choose to hurt him but she definitely made sure to make herself available to kiss someone else 

harryten ngl i dont blame harry for never speaking about his relationships… look how messy this turned out to be  harryeleven at the end of the day, all I hope is that harry gets to live his happiest single era now… man def deserves it :( jessiefan3 I KNEW IT I KNEW IT OMG THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE harrytwelve god i hate her fandom so fucking much

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👤 nathangriffiths

liked by nathangriffiths, herbff, jessiefan1 and 301,957

jessiemoss sometimes unexpected things happen in the most unexpected ways 💖

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harrystyles I’m so happy to announce that ‘Love On Tour 2022’ is finally coming to the UK, Europe and South America.

Public on sale begins on Friday, January 28th. Check your venue website for further information about your show.

I’m so excited to see you. Thank you, I love you. H

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harryfan0 hii omg there you are :’) we missed youuuuu harryone YESSSS LET’S DO THISSSSS harrytwo 💘💘💘 can’t wait to see you!!!  harrythree there’s no better way to get over someone than to go on tour all over the world  harryfour baby really said who cares about my ex i have my fans im gonna visit all of them 🥲 harryfive all im saying is: singlerry in south america harrysix YESSS!!!!! take all my money i dont care it’s all yours i just want to see youuu harryseven hope you’re doing okay <3 we love you!

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liked by harryone, harrytwo and 2,376 others

harryupdates Harry leaving a club in London last night. 

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harryzero MY BABYYYY  harryone it’s been two months guys how did we even survive all this time without him :(  harrytwo man is looking gooooooooooddddd harrythree BOY LOOKS HAPPYYYYYY harrythree i bet he kissed the girl!!!!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 harryfour SINGLERRY IS SO HOT AND I’M SO HERE FOR IT harryfive hope he’s having the time of his life <3

↳ harrysix sounds like he is… he was seen flirting with multiple girls all night hahaha  ↳ harryfour that’s what i’ve been saying: he’s in his single era and i’m here for it lol

harryseven looking good, single, and healthy 🔥 harryeight nathan who??? harrynine lmao jessie moss you will be regretting this loss for the rest of your life !!

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liked by harryone, harrytwo and 75 others

singlerry okay so no signs of harry out partying tonight BUT (!!!) it’s almost 3am in london and he JUST followed this girl on ig

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harryone shut up 😯 are you serious? harrytwo pls !!! to be in harry’s mind at 3am harrythree some people are just so lucky harrythree some people are never me harrythree im never some people harryfour why do i feel like i’ve seen her before? 🤔

↳ harryfive because i’m pretty sure she’s the stylist that works with lambert ↳ harrysix she is, yessss! she was in LA when lambert styled jessie for those red carpets ↳ harryfour so she’s the one who styled jessie when lambert styled harry? ↳ harrysix yes! haha  ↳ harryseven what???

harryeight okay what’s the big deal? sorry i really dont get it  harrynine guys if she’s a stylist and works with lambert maybe it’s work related

↳ harryten i’m sorry but have you seen her profile?? that man did NOT follow her at 3 in the morning bc of work lmaoooo

harryeleven well idk about you but i just followed her, too 🥵harrytwelve i need more info pls i mean what’s the gossip here? he just followed, right? so…?

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liked by harrystyles, bestie, harry_lambert and 37,019 others

yourinstagram so sorry I haven’t checked my phone lately xxx

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bestie except to text me x

↳ harry_lambert and to text me x ↳ yourinstagram indeed x ↳ yourinstagram so if you need me contact my friends, please xxx

someone stunning as usual  sometwo girl that body 😭 share the secret i beg you harryone my jaw lays on the floor harrytwo I will not say it, I will not say it, I will not say it…  harrythree we see you harryyyyy harryfour harryyyyy!!! that was quick lolll  harryfive omg guys stop being embarrassing he’s not 12 give him at least some privacy??

↳ harrysix this is instagram… im pretty sure he knows he’s not going to be private here 🤷‍♀️ ↳ harryfive still!!! stop calling him out!!!  ↳ harryseven yeah… especially bc it could be just work related and here you are making things awkward… so please stop

harryeight girl at least follow him back 😭 poor guy jessiefanone why am I still following you? 🤮 jessiefantwo nathan didn’t like this post!!!!

↳ jessiefanthree no he didn’t!!!! ↳ jessiefanfour that’s the jessie effect!  ↳ jessiefanfive can you imagine knowing guys only care about you when the real ones aren’t available? so sad  ↳ jessiefansix also guys, our theories about what happened make so much sense it’s crazy 

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liked by harry_lambert, bestie, harrystyles and 27,651 others

yourinstagram this week was one of THOSE weeks. meaning I’ve been exhausted all day every day whilst feeling the luckiest on earth with the greatest job that I love more than anything in the world. 

thanks again ＠harry_lambert for bringing me in to your journey. I love you just as much as I love all my mini slutty skirts xxx

view all 56 comments  harry_lambert as much as the mini slutty skirts? 😯  harry_lambert damn that’s real babe, thank you harry_lambert also this is OUR journey x  harry_lambert and also I love you x bestie you two teaming up was the greatest thing that could’ve ever happened to me. I love you both ＠harry_lambert ＠yourinstagram  someone mother of the internet  sometwo the balance between posting work mode pics but still bringing the mini skirts up  cousin do you ever get a family discount or something?

↳ yourinstagram haha come over next week i might have something for you

harryone is he taking you on tour with harry, too? 👀 harrytwo not me checking if he liked her post (of course he did!!) and if she finally followed him back (no she didn’t!!) 

↳ harrythree girl ＠yourinstagram plssssss just follow him ↳ harrythree boy must be just waiting for the day he gets an interaction

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unfortunately only 30 pictures allowed...

[shares-a-vest]

cw: smoking. also the brief contemplation of drinking and driving (Steve and Eddie would be like this, but don't do it kiddos!!)

Ever since Dustin made the mistake of begging one of his older male friends to help him find the other, his life has been reduced to, well...

Shit like this.

Standing in the middle of Hawkins High's parking lot like a lost puppy, lingering like a wet, rotten fart in Mike's basement as he waits for Steve and Eddie to finish up their conversation. A little chat that must be oh-so-hilarious this evening judging by all the chuckling Steve is doing.

And the fact that Eddie is allowing this new friendship to encroach on Hellfire? Well, that part is just plain weird.

He cut the night off early and pushed ahead of all the boys to skip on his merry way to the Beemer, where Steve was waiting with a big stupid smile that Dustin quickly discovered was for Eddie and Eddie only.

Dustin must have been a fool to ever think it was a good idea for Steve and Eddie to become friends. Oh, how he regrets that crisp spring morning!

Well, maybe he doesn't regret the whole thing. Y'know, saving the world and keeping Max and Eddie alive, and all that.

Dustin purses his lips. Because screw this. Eddie should be more grateful.

He steps forward, narrowing his eyes as he hopes to grab the attention of his traitorous, rude friends.

"Can I help you with something?" Eddie asks after a long moment of nothing but dead-eyed staring back at him like he's the idiot.

"I thought you were driving me home?" Dustin raises a brow to Steve.

But Steve doesn't notice or say anything as Eddie reaches into his jacket pocket to retrieve a lighter and a pack of smokes.

Dustin scrubs a hand over his face. Jesus Christ, he is going to be standing here for hours now!

He should have just taken a chance with Ted Wheeler's snoozefest talk-back radio. Or risked his precious life in Grant's car. Maybe he should have found better friends in the first place. Maybe he should have stopped this friendship from blossoming months ago when Eddie was still half-dead in the hospital.

"I thought you quit smoking?" he says, folding his arms with a disapproving huff.

Eddie makes a face at him as if such a suggestion is utter nonsense. Steve meanwhile, plucks a cigarette from the pack, pauses and glares.

"Was your mom within earshot when I said that?"

"Yes!"

Eddie lights up his own cigarette and then reaches for Steve's. Steve meets him halfway, smirking with a look in his eyes that Dustin cannot help but think is some kind of knowing glance. Great – they must be doing this on purpose!

"Tell your mom we smoke and I'll kick your ass, Henderson," Eddie mumbles around a puff, "We have reputations to uphold."

Steve nods, "Respectable."

Ironically, that oxymoron is when Dustin catches the streetlight reflecting off a can. A beer can. One of a six-pack sitting on the hood of Steve's car. His friend must notice (or more likely, Steve's pea-brain remembers the existence of the beverages) because he quickly straightens up, snaps one free and offers it to Eddie.

Eddie giggles and twirls a lock of his hair before taking the beer. Goddamnit, these two are so irritating!

"What is this, a fucking tailgate?" Dustin shrieks.

"Shut it," Eddie shoots back before he takes – probably too many – desperate slurps.

"Relax, worry wort. I'll get you home before I drink anything."

Eddie holds up his beer and jingles it in Steve's face, taunting him. Steve stops to ponder the temptation – he truly is operating at a snail's pace here! – as he glances between Eddie, the Beemer and the now-five pack. So much for being 'respectable'.

Eddie takes another sip and belches, "Come on, Stevie, let's get the kiddo home."

Steve sighs and pushes himself up from the hood of his car.

"Finally! Thank you!" Dustin sighs, exasperated, "Y'know, none of this was supposed to happen!"

But Steve just pushes past him, spinning his keys on his finger as Eddie scoops up the beers, cradling them like they are his babies.

"Watch your shoes when you get in the car."

"And I'm picking the music."

[raileurta]

A continuation of this post

Looking back on it Miko should have just told the truth. Sure yeah it's extremely embarrassing calling your resident overlord addict "dad" by accident but it would not have snowballed into this hot gaslighting mess.

Oh who Miko kidding she is reveling in the complete chaos she's caused.

Scrolling back to a few weeks ago Miko had just finished school. The girl had just previously pulled an all nighter to catch up on all her work and studying. (Got to stay in her exchange program somehow) So Miko was completely exhausted. She didn't even have a chance to sleep during school as for some Primus forsaken reason there was an important test in every class! Miko had planned on sleeping at the base but nooooo the universe had other plans. That day the decepticons decided to try to tail them without them noticing and try to find out their secret base. Of course her best bestie in the whole universe noticed them and quickly diverted his course. They drove for a few minutes before Bulkhead quickly went behind some rock transformed and did a surprise attack on them. It probably was an interesting fight but Miko was too tired to care or pay attention to.

Iterable now and still unwillingly awake they were ground bridge back to base. Jack being the good mom friend he is asked if she was okay. Miko doesn't really understand what happened in her brain that day that made her give that response but sleep deprivation is a scary thing. She had responded,

"Yeah yeah I'm good just some of Dad's goons being annoying again."

Silence greeted her. She looked around weirded out by everyone's shocked faces. They were staring at her like she had just grown another head.

"What's wron-" and apparently that's when her mind registered what she had just said. Miko's face twisted into the definition of abject terror and her brain in all it's horrible glory decided it would best to follow that up with,

"Scrap you weren't supposed to know that."

What the hell brain?!?? Could you have worded that any less suspiciously? Could have said something like "I didn't mean to say that." Jesus Christ.

Miko obviously knowing on some instinctual level she fucked up big time immediately tried to book it. She didn't get too far of course, getting caught by Arcee real quickly. (She's slippery but not that slippery.)

The girl was half questioned half interrogated about what she had meant by that. Deciding it was a good idea to dig herself into a deeper hole Miko "revealed" that Megatron was her father. For obvious reasons they didn't believe her bs. Miko then decided to back up her claim with "evidence" if you can even call it that. She said she can understand Bee for instance. Bumblebee then chipped at her which had translated into, "What?? No way! If that's true what's my favorite dinosaur?"

She simply responded "Triceratops."

Everyone freaked out especially Bee. Miko couldn't really blame them. As she's been "acting" like she didn't know Bee's language and been lying to them since day one. The truth though was that Miko had in secret actually been practicing to understand him for a couple months now. It was going to be a gift of sorts and she was just fed up with not understanding him.

They still needed more evidence from her through. Yeah it was extremely suspicious that Miko hasn't said anything about this but Raf could understand Bee and he's a regular human. She then brought out the big guns and told them,

"Well I also know Megatron and Optimus are exes." Miko had bluffed. She didn't know 100% for sure that was true. She mostly just got this vibe from those two and nobody acknowledged it. It honestly was kinda annoying if she was being honest with here. The team instantly threw up protests and looked to their leader to disprove her claims. But they were met with a slightly blushing Optimus who was turned away. Ratchet making a comment under his breath about how did she know?

If Miko thought they weren't fully freaked out about the language thing they were totally freaked out now. It was really chaotic. Bulkhead was frantically asking why she didn't say anything and was Miko just using him for some evil plan?! At the same time Arcee and Bee were trying to get Raf and Jack away from her at the same time. While Optimus was kinda breaking down about not knowing anything about this and Ratchet was consoling him. She thankfully managed to convince Bulk that yes they were in fact best friends and no she wasn't going to hurt anybody. Being the saints they are autobots tried to look past her "heritage" and still be a family. Optimus even giving her a grand speech about how your blood doesn't define you and what you choose to be.

God was that awkward.

After a bit of more talking Miko finally was permitted to rest and once the best sleep of her life was over reality hit hard for her. If she wasn't freaking out about the whole situation at the time Miko would have laughed herself dizzy at how easily the bots were fooled. They didn't even ask about her quote unquote "creation." Calming down a few minutes later Miko started to really think about what to do now.

And well in for a penny in for a pound, she decided to double down and commit to this weird bit. So for the next few days Miko started dropping "lore" about herself and in general messing with everyone. Ratchet even made a comment about how it was kinda obvious looking back as Miko apparently was a mini Megatronous with her personality.

Okay wow. She was kinda offended by the comment but really couldn't say anything.

She did however get some cool information about Megatron. Like apparently how he was a very lively prankster. This info would come in handy about two weeks later.

Miko had ran through the ground bridge as usual, got caught up in some dangerous battle, then to shake things up was caught in another cave in. (Those are never as traumatic as the second time around) As fate would have it she was sorta saved by buckethead himself. Holding up a huge rock preventing them both from being squished making him unable to harm her. Not one to waste this opportunity she tried to recruit him into her scheme.

It went something like this:

"Okay look I need for you to hear me out."

"No."

"I didn't say anything yet!"

"I don't care to listen to the ramblings of a filthy organic."

"Ugh why couldn't it have been a different pretend dad decepticon?!"

"what...?"

"Long story short I have been gaslighting the autobots into believing your my dad- well sire for the past few weeks."

Megatron was rendered speechless.

Well briefly anyways.

"I'll be damned Starscream was right. All you insects are completely insane."

"Probably. But that's besides the point; I need your help to keep this lie going."

"Absolutely not."

"Come on....."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO."

"YES."

"NO."

"YES."

"IT'S NOT EVEN BIOLOGICALLY POSSIBLE!"

"Does it look like I care????? The autobots believed me and that's all that matters!"

"Wait a minute- you got the autobots to believe you?"

"Surprisingly yes. In all honesty it was too easy."

"....."

"Don't you want to fuck with them?"

"Imagine how much psychological damage Ratchet and Optimus would take."

"Aren't you tired of being nice?"

"I'm never nice."

"Don't you want to go ape shit?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Why go through all this effort to keep up this lie?"

Miko should have said that it was because she didn't want to be caught lying and was scared about revealing the truth; but that would be a lie.

"I'm doing this because I can. I do it for the love of the game."

"Your psychotic........"

"It's nice to meet you daughter."

Cew evil canned laughter.

[Part 1] - [Part 2?]

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do Jade’s club wear voice lines sound different than some of his other cards’ voice lines to you? I thought I was just a little out of it when I pulled him and heard the intro voice line, but I feel like it’s just a touch different than how he usually sounds 🤔 now I’m also wondering if there’s a difference in card voice lines for other characters.

I went in to listen to Jade’s Clubwear voice lines and compare them to some of his permanent cards’ voice lines (since I usually don’t play with sound on) and I think you’re right! He sounds notably softer and more relaxed, like he’s taking his time to enjoy his surroundings. Makes sense, since the Clubwear implies he’s out in the mountains exploring and showing all of the best sights with you.

I don’t have the time to check and cross-reference the entire roster of 400+ cards 😭 but I can tell you that Jade’s definitely not the only one this happens for! A Jamil Liking friend of mine (henceforth known as Jamil Liker) pointed out to me a few months ago that New Year Attire Jamil sounds more friendly + has more feeling in his voice than his usual neutral tone. It makes sense in the context of that card; he’s in a front-facing customer service position, so naturally Jamil would have to be more approachable.

Sounds to me like the general tone the character assumes depends on the context of the card! Of course, their emotions can also change and color what they’re saying.

[katerinaaqu]

Hello! I just stumbled upon your blog when I joined The Odyssey community! If it isn't too much a bother to ask, what things, reccuring themes and characterizations do you feel are most important and iconic within The Odyssey?

I am asking this mostly because I really do like your rants and opinions, I find myself agreeing to a lot of what you say, which sorta surprises me because of your clear dislike of Epic, whereas I personally adore Epic: The Musical. (I stayed away from it for a while -I was wary of retellings, adaptions and what-not- until I finally got into it like, a month ago and since, I have been listening non-stop)

So, when I came onto your posts, I was immediately drawn towards your Epic based rants and your translations. Point for point, you hit all the parts I disliked about the musical, albeit, my dislike is obviously much milder, since I still love it. I also completely understoond your stance on source material over so-called retellings since I have felt and still do feel the same about other (unrelated to The Odyssey) medias and fandoms.

If you'd like to talk, I love to hear more of your thoughts! Tell me all of what you loved about The Odyssey. Refresh my knowledge and give me your insight! I'm getting back into reading it, since I read it only once before a long time ago. I have always been more of a casual enjoyer, but now I'm really trying to dip my toes in.

(You don't have to say anything about the musical either, I just really liked your rants on it and the corrections you made on the misinformation rampant in the fandom due to preconceived notions... Sorry, I talk a lot-)

Why hello and I am quite honored you discovered me hahahahaha oh my, my once again being known for my runts huh? Hahaha XD I can see why though! I am really honored you decided to ask me such intriguing question! Hahaha how dare you! You know I am a yapper about this book! Hehehe!

I would say one reoccurring theme in the Odyssey that I rarely ever see in adaptations is the theme of seeking of knowledge. I find it so disappointing how it is literally one of the main themes of the Odyssey and yet I rarely ever see it happening. It is literally at the first lyrics of the poem:

πολλῶν δ᾽ ἀνθρώπων ἴδεν ἄστεα καὶ νόον ἔγνω

He saw many cities of men and gained knowledge from them

(Translation by me)

Odysseus was not just experiencing his homecoming. It was a cognitive trip; a trip where he learnt things and he achieved things on his way.

He didn't stop at the cave of Cyclops because he had nothing else to do or no food to go by. It is clearly stated in the Odyssey that the island of the Cyclops was extremely fertile and had many wild goats and other animals they could hunt and feed on. Odysseus entered the cave because he wanted to meet the people that lived there. He ignored the signs that showed the residents were non-human because he wanted to give a chance to whoever lived in that cave to show that they were more than what met the eye.

He met the land of Aeolia next. His stay in that land for one month was share knowledge with Aeolus. He told them his story, they also told him their own experiences, thus Odysseus knows about how Aeolus arranged the marriage of his children and all

He sent scouts to the land of the Laestrigonians and their city, he was though more prudent this time and assured a safe passage even if his comrades didn't follow his prudent stance this is what costed them their lives but one ship.

He shared knowledge with Circe, not only on the part of his trip that he needed to move on but also gained knowledge from her. One example is the mention of a cunning knot he learnt from her which he used later in his adventures. Small details like that.

He gained knowledge from Tiresias not only on how to break his curse but also on what happened the years he was away from his home.

He had no reason to hear the sirens! The sirens is exactly the manifestation of his trip being of cognitive nature. He wanted to hear them. He NEEDED the knowledge they provided! Removing that concept from his trip in any shape or form shows to me someone who does not understand the Odyssey (I know it is harsh to say but I feel like there is one part of the Odyssey that is so iconic like the 12 axes challenge and that is the sirens passage)

Odysseus learns in every part of his trip and uses that knowledge to future adventures. But what I also fail to see is how CONSCIOUS this knowledge-gain is. Of course he learns things accidentally too but most part of it is knowledge he chooses to acquire for himself.

Another theme that I do not see much is theme of fate and destiny. Odysseus is not some idiot who doxxed himself as most people use the overused joke. In fact his trip is so thick of plot that one way or another something would have happened to cause this wandering.

Troy was destined to stand 10 years (from the Iliad),

Odysseus was destined to go home in 20 (hence he needed extra persuasion to go to the war).

Polyphemus was prophesized before that he would have been blinded by a man named Odysseus (he just didn't know who that Odysseus would be)

but we also know that Odysseus was destined to meet Circe (Circe mentions how Hermes had warned her for the prophesized man coming to her isle. She probably was unaware on the identity of the man or how that man would arrive at her doors)

Odysseus was also cursed by Polyphemus that he would either never return or return alone without his companions and find misery at his home

The true line between fate and destiny and human will is very thin in greek mythology. However we also see that Odysseus tries repeatedly to change fate even if it is inevitable (see my analysis here). It is this human part of his that is so relatable! Also the fact that oftentimes in the joke people forget that Odysseus experienced the absolute horror in the cave of Polyphemus for days. Exhaustion and anger took the best of him as well as of course his ego being inflated that he had managed to take down such a powerful opponent. And of course the reoccurring misunderstanding that Odysseus never cared for anyone else but as I have also analyzed there that is simply not true. It is even stated in the Odyssey:

πολλὰ δ᾽ ὅ γ᾽ ἐν πόντῳ πάθεν ἄλγεα ὃν κατὰ θυμόν, ἀρνύμενος ἥν τε ψυχὴν καὶ νόστον ἑταίρων.

He suffered many torments in his heart out at the sea, seeking to win his own life/soul and the return of his companions

(Translation by me)

The whole trip was always about Odysseus wishing to return them all safely home. Which is also part of his tragedy and shows why he went in so many lengths to save them etc.

I am honored that someone that likes this piece of media can still understand and even liking some of these opinions. I understand that for someone that genuinely like it might be a bit annoying or tiring but yeah I guess I love the original way too much! Hahaha! And okay I understand the songs are really catchy so it can be getting into someone's head easily but I am really delighted to hear you say that! And of course to be fair there are many things one can like about the musical for example the talent of the people related to it and their passion

However ironically that was the source of my dislike as well hehe I know it is paradoxical but when I see someone with obvious knowledge of the sources and passion for something, twist the original material to THAT degree...dunno I feel it even harder. I mean of course one does not expect it to be accurate but when I hear that and yet someone claim to adapt material I would expect of course these small details changing here and there for example adding dialogs with Poseidon (that is like a must in every adaptation minus the 1968 version I noticed...like Poseidon never interacted with Odysseus but that is something every adaptation adds!) or extra scenes with Hermes or whatever or even some of the details added. The problem is that the whole plot was twisted beyond repair, basic parts of the plot that made the plot unique and beloved were thrown out the window And BECAUSE I recognize the talent of the people involved AND seeing they had the chance as they did to make not only the Odyssey available to public but also influence more people to see it and they could do it by staying respectful to the material and yet they chose not to which increased as I said my disappointment. I was also very warm when I watched the first two sagas even if they were also inaccurate because they had exactly what I describe. So yes of course I absolutely understand why people would like it. Dang I absolutely do at least on the artistic department but the way as you brilliantly stated not only the plot but also the fandom of it has been at times it really got to me more than many things

So it is really a good change to see more people see this point of view too and I respect the fact that some people like it and yet do try to see the other view too. You are very kind for saying that!

Hahahaha dude you are asking a dangerous question! Hahahaha! I can talk about it forever! Hahaha Honestly what is there to me not to love about the Odyssey? For starters the fact that it is an ancient Greek poem, something linked to my country and my history and being loved in such a great degree and continue to inspire even almost 3000 years later, fills me with so much pride! Makes me inspired to do something similar! Like not caring if I will be a celebrity but someone see my work and admire it even if they do not know who I am...someone that can see this and continue to speak on it for generations to come... Of course many writers do the same as well like classical literature and all but for the specific one I feel so much pride!

The Odyssey arguably has everything! Romance, friendship and companionship, horror and peace, war and bloodshed and also tenderness of a family, drama and comedy, adventure and domestic life even daresay sci-fi details with the Phaeakes island that have literal robotic dogs created by Hephaestus for them. Odysseus is one of the most complicated personas in all literature history and earned that position in the hall of fame. Arguably even ancient Greeks and Romans could not handle the guy with so many different opinions that paint him from hero till villain. The same guy that held back from the battle till the proper moment and then abandoned his last escape to save Diomedes in the Iliad is now sailing to the seas. The same man that took Ismarus and slay the men and took women of it as his property and mentioning it as casually as he could was also crying his eyes out in guilt upon hearing a song about Troy and the way the city fell. The same guy that tenderly held his son and cried like a baby holding him and kissing him was also the same person that slaughtered 108 men in his palace and executed their allies in less than a day. The same guy who reigned the kingdom like a father; who embraced and kissed his slaves like equals, was also undoubtedly a strong leader and king who defended his authority with iron hand and he was ready to even slay his own brother-in-law when he defied him. The same man that held back from volunteering to face Hector in the Iliad and made sure he would be the last to be chosen, in the Odyssey he armed himself ready to face an immortal 6-headed monster all by himself. The man known for his mind and cunning and indirect ways is also known for being one of the greatest warriors known. Arguably even his age being one of the oldest kings in the Iliad and yet as Antilochus said he was also one of the fastest and more agile and one of the best in spear. The most pious and religious people to the gods, favored by one of the greatest goddesses of all, Athena, and loved by Zeus was also one of those who suffered a great deal from his hubris.

This man is the absolute perfection of contradictions in one body and the way he is portrayed by Homer especially in the Odyssey where he is the protagonist is a masterpiece of emotions. Arguably Odysseus is also one of the earliest male rape victims in literature for he was not just attempted to be raped and seduced but he had to literally sell his body once to Circe and then he was being forced by Calypso. A warrior that was absolutely powerless before the gods

The Odyssey is also a great allegory of the spread of Greeks to the Mediterranean sea before the official set of colonies and the way it provides us information on how they moved around. It is also an allegory on the dangers humans faced out in the sea, how they struggled and how the families left behind also struggled with the consequences. How the power of nature can bend someone but also how human with seer will can do incredible things Odysseus survived the impossible not because he had gods as parents or hardly any help from the gods itself with the exception of Leucothea in the last adventure and of course finally Athena to the final stage. Odysseus survived because of his seer will and his need to return home. Odysseus can be any one of us; a person who struggles every day; everything can hold us down and we might have no help or very little help from others but we must keep pushing through. The Odyssey also shows us the importance of companionship and family bonds, loyalty and trust. Odysseus didn't slay the suitors because he was a mary-sue all-powerful person. He had help from three loyal slaves (Euryclea, Eumaeus and Philoetius) and his son Telemachus. He didn't do it alone. He used the help of those who believed in him and quite frankly he faced a much less bad situation at his palace because of his wife's seer will and loyalty to not abandon the throne of Ithaca to anyone till he arrived.

The Odyssey is also about how there are many forms of strength. Penelope was not less strong than Odysseus because she didn't kill anyone with a sword. She was strong for keeping more than 100 men and several parts of the household that were betraying them with her seer will and mind. Telemachus was both a fighter and someone who tried to see the best in people and that saved his life (when he spared Theoklymenos at his return from his trip. Theoklymenos was a man who had committed murder. Telemachus chose to give him a chance and in return he received the prophecy of Theoklymenos that the suitors were planning an ambush) Odysseus also learnt forgiveness in one way when he was ready to start another bloodshed by the end of the Odyssey when the families of the suitors saught revenge but Athena stopped it, making sure both sides stopped the never-ending circle of violence. Nausicaa is an example of loving someone and yet you must respect their wishes and let them go. Telemachus is an example of self-discovery... The very realistic scenario of someone not recognizing the place they left for so long and people not recognizing you back. That you have to work yourself through the very same place you left behind! Even Telemachus as a character not even knowing what to believe anymore about the father he never met, not knowing whom to listen and whom not to etc. like a realistic scenario of absent veteran fathers who disappeared a long time ago...

Honestly...what ISN'T the Odyssey?! It is in my opinion one of the most complete pieces of literature that opens the way in many things! I am really happy you shall decide to look at it more attentively and I hope you shall enjoy it because honestly it's worth it.

(My friend I do not mind at all speaking about it. I am just not a fan so I am just asking the understanding of anyone that I am not gonna be very positive about what I mention and say. However I shall try not to be hater with no reason or logic, that I can promise to try)

[shiikiyun]

Hi everypony. Futa is no older than 21. Here's why

1. Twitter interface

In Jihen Joutou we are able to see a 1:1 replica of twitter, and the UI cues show that this cannot be before 2017 when the profile pics went from square to circular, aside from other details like the reply button, or the existence of quotes (added 2015) but not the button bellow the tweets (added 2020)

2. Phone model

But to narrow it down even more: Futa's phone ressembles an IPhone 11 the most, released late 2019. The previous models to this one have different camera placements, meaning it is most likely this model, and making his crime impossible to happen prior September 2019.

Additionally: His twitter account was created in March 2016. This could mean nothing, as animation could've already been on production. But, fyi, this account is currently deactivated. It was still there 3 weeks ago, right before t3 started, and the username is unavailable for new accounts, meaning it hasn't been a month since it's gone. Seems deliberate, so, I'd keep it's creation date in mind.

What is his birth year then? I've got a few options.

If MILGRAM takes them in with the age they had when the crime happened (explaining why Haruka would believe he's a teenager): Crime happens in 2019 or right before April 2020, making his birth year 1999. He'd be 21 in real life right before MILGRAM starts, at the oldest.

If MILGRAM takes them at the age they are by April 2020, start of the project: Birth year is 2000. He is truly 20, but was 19 at the time of the crime.

Making him any older than this would force him to be older than 20 when the crime happens in 2019, and make not only his claim but MILGRAM's profile be nonsensical (why would he say he's 20 and why would MILGRAM not, at least, put it in doubt if he was already older by the time of the crime?)

Let's also remember one thing from the first novel: Dead people and people in a coma can still appear in MILGRAM as completely fine and real, and MILGRAM can tamper with memories. We shouldn't jump the gun to make this make real sense, because it doesn't. It isn't a real facility.

What does this mean for Haruka and the rest then? I think there's a group of prisoners that are of a slightly older time period and another group that are closer to the start of the project (Namely Mikoto, for example, as the train he takes and his phone model are also pretty contemporary. Additionally— he has 4G, introduced in the 2010s, so it could not be earlier than that, and I've read e-cigarettes became more popular in Japan around late 2010s. My guess is also 2019/2018, but I'm not as confident in Mikoto as I am Futa simply because I'd have to dig more to find specific models and stuff. Futa was just too easy lol. Mahiru also cannot be earlier than 2016 because of the Your Name reference). This would not mean they lied about their ages in MILGRAM, not even that they are older in real life. They could've died at the age they are in MILGRAM, or, as I said, are taken as the age they were when the crime happened and truly are and believe the age they claim. Personally, I think Haruka's age being alluded to not be exact comes from the severe neglect starting at 15— His perception of aging blurs after that, he could be 15, he could be 19, but somewhat still a teen. Let's remember he was investigated by the police after killing pets, after the murder of the child, it's almost sure he was caught. I don't think he made it to 23 (probably suicide), but that's my personal speculation.

In conclusion: Don't let the sudden reveal that Haruka was born in 1997 make you catastrophize the rest of the cast or Haruka's age itself. There is a lot of proof that the events in MILGRAM aren't parallel to real life time passage, and even if the prisoners have a different birth year than what you could easily calculate by subtracting (age) to 2020— It doesn't immediately mean their ages in MILGRAM aren't true. Let this be an opportunity to revisit MVs for context clues that could easily reveal the time period the crimes took place in, like I did with this guy! Thanks

[crownedinmarigolds]

I feel like the following may be a controversial hot take, so please don't think I'm targeting any of my friends on here! This is just a small rant. T_T I hate being a problem customer - but it's been three months with no contact with an artist I've commissioned... I've sent a feeler message out a month ago with no response as well though they're still active on their social media so it definitely doesn't seem like an emergency has happened. I can see they are on and off again with their mental health so I completely understand not having the drive... but I think I would just prefer a message like this directly so I know they're still okay working on my art. It feels like I'm being ignored which makes me want to ask for a refund just so we both aren't burdened, which I know will just make things worse for this person. Having to pay back a chunk of money in the middle of a dry spell would be awful. I feel like a jerk when I request a commission, and then you just see endless posts about how the person is miserable working on commissions and how they are unable to do personal projects that make them happy and etc and you're like "of course I understand this!" but then I just don't want to commission you anymore to give you mental peace but clearly you're offering commissions because you need money and it's just the endless miserable grind cycle. Also it's THEIR social media, they're allowed to post about their health all they want! I totally get it, but it really is like "oh my god you're so upset please let me just not commission you anymore" but also "you need money so if I don't commission you or ask for a refund, you go without." Ughhhh. I guess I'm not really asking for advice or anything I'm just kind of talking into the tumblr void about this issue. But yikes. I guess the controversial bit is that I don't feel its professional as a career artist to talk about how commissions make you miserable when it's your only form of income because I feel like it chases away people who genuinely want to buy your art - but ALSO yes its your social media and you shouldn't feel policed into silence about what's going on in your life. Ah! Sorry everyone, just a bit frustrated today.

[catboybiologist]

I know you don't want to be seen as an expert on hrt, so you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I feel like you're the best person for me to ask, I've been closeted for years bc of highschool, but will be graduating this year and a little bit after that I think I will be done with being in the social settings that have made me hold off on transition. I was wondering if you have any tips for possibly boymoding while I start hrt and if you have any range of how long I may be able to boymode with relative ease? Again you don't need to answer, you just seem like you may have some info and/or your followers could also provide their info.

I boymoded full time for 9 months on HRT, so I do have a couple little nuggets of advice. Remember that all of this varies wildly from person to person. Also remember that you're starting at (I'm assuming) 18yo, which might affect your access and such.

Boymoding while you start HRT is a common move, and I totally understand why. The biggest thing to remember about hrt is that your "real" start is when your blood levels stabilize appropriately, not when you take your first dose. There are some, small changes that happen before then, but significant development really only starts at that point.

The reason I'm saying this is because it affects your boymoding. I had no problem boymoding in those first 9 months. My first levels check that showed female hormonal ranges happened at about 8 months. After that, I was rapidly feminizing, even though I was losing weight. I would say that about the 1yr mark was the point I could no longer boymode comfortably, and only did so in extremely specific contexts with great effort past that point.

To give you an idea:

That initial burst of development, ending at about day 100, was easy to hide. The changes from ~day 300 on were not- I was rapidly losing weight, so even though my chest wasn't getting bigger, it was more contrasted with the rest of my body. I couldn't claim them as male fat anymore.

The chest is usually what gives away boymoding early.

This all said, here's the basic boymoder toolkit:

A lightly compressive sports bra or bralette. Don't use a binder in early development, and prioritize comfort. I used a Nike sports bra as well as a CK racerback bralette, which is a classic for early hrt transfemmes.

Slightly baggy clothes. Usually button downs help more than t shirts. The boymoder hoody is a meme, but it does help. That said, I'd recommend trying to get stuff that you can style in femme outfits later! I mostly used flannel and light, breathable hiking shirts to boymode. I can use these as sporty "cardigans" and jackets now. Example: here's me wearing a flannel buttoned right at the start of HRT, vs me wearing one as a cardigan a couple months ago:

And, tbh, that's kind of it. It's not much, but it has to "fool" people who will already be biased into perceiving you as a guy. Socially transitioning then helps snap them into seeing you as a girl.

Fair warning though: while it is helpful to boymode for a bit for most people, you're not gonna suddenly "flick a switch" and become ultra femme overnight once you do come out. There's no avoiding the awkward zones associated with transition. Boymoding helps minimize those, however.

I'm rambling at this point but godspeed. You have an amazing experience and an amazing life ahead of you.

[whiteknightloser]

we all know buddie is gonna have some kind of life threatening event before they dare utter the words “i love you”, we also know it should be eddie. it’s his turn.

what if eddie gets into a really bad crash on the highway in the middle of nowhere (this has nothing to do with my want to have even a little bit of time in a popular show set in new mexico). his phone breaks in the crash. he can’t call 911 and he cant call buck. eddie starts helping the other driver to the best of his abilities, trying to get them both somewhere with a phone. get them both help. eddie is bleeding really bad and putting all of his weight on this stranger, his only thoughts are of christopher and buck. he needs to make it home to both of them.

meanwhile in los angeles buck is slowly losing his mind. eddie said he would call when he got there, he hasn’t called yet, he should have called an hour ago. but it’s probably fine he probably just made a couple stops on the way. he lets another hour pass, itching to get a call from eddie. it doesn’t come. he starts freaking out, and unlike with tommy, eddie isn’t there to stop him from calling. straight to voicemail. okay. maybe he just doesn’t have service right now. he lets half an hour pass, he calls again, straight to voicemail. buck is having the worst month of his life. who knows what could’ve happened, if eddies safe, if he’s even alive.

then he remembers chris. he has to tell chris, once again, that he might not see his father ever again. his heart drops. he remembers the will.

i have no idea how this storyline would continue, or how it would end but my GOD if this happens in the show i’d lose it. (if anyone want to write a fic about this send it to me immediately after its done thank yewww)

[hyperions-light]

Reflection Ruesday

@becausedragonage Thanks for coming up with this new game!✨

@lottiesnotebook @biowaredisasterbisexual thank you for the tags, also! <3

What to do: Go through your writing, art, gifs, etc. that you started but never finished and find something you love. Brush it up a bit if you want and share it.

Hmm, I don’t have anything for DA that I would really consider ‘old’ lol, but a few months ago I started a bad end!AU where Solas died and possessed Rook (Leth), and then it got worse lol. Anyway, I wrote the first part (it’s around here, somewhere, on a WIP game) and then I wrote another scene where everyone got back to the Lighthouse. Still into the concept! Def haven’t abandoned this, but I have more pressing projects atm. Here’s the second scene! (I didn’t edit lol)

-

They make it back to the Lighthouse before anything strange happens again.

As soon as Rook steps inside, the Caretaker appears before them, and then, they are no longer Rook.

The spirits speak to each other in a language he doesn’t understand— Lucanis looks to Emmrich, but he shakes his head, a troubled furrow in his brow.

The rapidity and the pitch suggests an argument. The caretaker reaches for Rook— for their body— and they put out a hand, stopping them entirely.

“That’s quite enough,” Emmrich says, firmly, stepping forward.

Solas turns to look at him, some kind of wry, condescending amusement shining from his purple eyes in Rook’s face.

“Professor Volkarin,” he says, and it sounds so— so *wrong* the lilting accent in Rook’s voice, the reserved politeness they’ve *never* been given to. “What seems to be the problem?”

“What are you doing to them?” Bellara demands.

“Nothing,” he says, turning to her. “A soul cannot be forced on the unwilling. I was invited.”

Lucanis steps forward, finding his voice.

“They needed you to kill Elgar’nan. He is dead. You can leave.”

“I could,” he acknowledges, with a graceful dip of Rook’s chin— and that, too, is wrong. “But I do not wish to. And neither does Lethanavir wish me to leave.”

Lucanis flinches slightly, to hear Rook’s full name, their *real* name, in Solas’ voice.

“If that’s true, they can tell us themself,” Davrin says, unyielding and implacable. Lucanis is thankful for his fearlessness, now.

Solas blinks slowly.

“I see the wisdom in your suggestion.”

All at once, Solas is gone, and Rook— their Rook— grins at their friends.

“Alright, so I know it’s a bit strange,” they say, hand out as if to quell incipient protests.

“But did you see how strong we are? It’s incredible! And we know so much! Neve,” they exclaim, coming over to take her hands excitedly,“we can fix Minrathous! He knows how! And Bellara,” they turn to her ecstatic,

“forget the Nadas Dirthalen; he was *there*! Think of everything we could learn— Davrin!”

They whirl around again, to face the wary and exhausted Warden, “he knows how to cleanse tainted objects! We could refine it, adapt— we could *help* people! Taash—“

“He knows about the tablet, the storm, all of it, everything your mother was talking about! And Emmrich—“

“Anything you want to know about the Fade— anything! He has lived a thousand lifetimes, here! Think of the possibilities!”

They throw their arms up and out in the direction of the bookcases, and then turn back to face the team.

-

Tagging: @mythals-whore | @wardensantoineandevka | @ofcrowsanddragons | @thedissonantverses | @flowersforthemachines | @bygonesigh (but wait until you’re feeling up to it! <3) | @erin-unknown | @i-had-bucky | @chamtong | @dymme | @uchidachi | @mageofquandrix | @broodwoof | @basedonconjecture | @taashyvashedan | @theunsinkablesappho | @katuary | @the-sparrohawk

Play, if you want!! BUT ALSO. If you see this and I didn’t tag you: tag. You���re it ! =3

[celandeline]

Things Have Changed Pt. 4 (Carl Grimes X Reader)

Part 4 of 9. Im sorry (but like also. not that sorry). I promise it all pay off in the end.

It feels like a fever dream. Like something your drunken mind would conjure up to fulfill your wishes while you sleep. But you know it was real - you know it was real because everytime you catch Carl’s eye in council, his cheeks turn steadfastly pink. 

You haven’t talked about it. You’re not sure that you will for a while, given how busy you both are these days. There just isn’t a good time to sit down and have a long conversation about your feelings, what with how you’re working from sunup to sundown, and then meeting with the council after sunset. But that it happened at all is enough for you, for now. Your skin still tingles where he’d touched it, and the knowledge that he thinks about what it would be like, with you, just like you think about him… it’s enough to have you fighting back your smile all day.

Council is meeting in your living room, per Aarons request. He takes the floor with a disc in hand, you understand why. Popping it into your DVD player, he faces the gathered council members with a smile. “As some of you know,” He begins. “I’ve met someone.”

The phrasing causes a light chuckle to go around the room, and you smile at the joke. 

“But on a more serious note, I do think I’ve found another contender to add to this community.” Aaron continues. He picks up the remote from your coffee table, and presses play. On your screen, a man appears, sat on the couch of Aaron’s living room. Your heart aches a little at the format - the interviews were something your mom had started, that you’d passed off to Aaron after her death. But seeing the same setup makes you think of her every time. 

The video starts properly, and you can hear Aaron’s voice from behind the camera. “Lets just start with your name and where you’re from.” 

The man on screen nods. He’s a little rugged looking, like he’s been out on the road for a while. His voice is gruff when he speaks. “My name is Arthur Barnham, and I’m from Woodbridge.”

“And what was your occupation before?”

“Before?” He seems a little taken aback by the question. “I was in construction before.”

For a moment, you forget all about the palpable tension between you and the boy on the other side of your living room, your attention completely stolen by the recording of Aaron’s interview. If God is real, he’s answered your prayers. How much easier would it make your life to have someone with real construction experience on your crew? To think of the insight he would have… You try your best to remain neutral throughout the rest of the recording, but your mind is already running with the possibilities. 

The recording ends and for a moment, the room is quiet. “I think he could be a good fit.” Aaron says, breaking the silence. 

“Did he say why he was alone?” Alice asks. “You don’t see many people out in the open by themselves anymore.” She has a fair point in bringing it up - people traveling by themselves, especially middle-aged men, always put up a flag in your mind. It’s strange to see someone wandering around by themselves, when at this point in the outbreak, most survivors have found communities. 

“He had a setup in Woodbridge, he said. But a herd came through about a month ago and completely overran the place.” Aaron supplies. 

“There was that massive herd that was heading south about a month ago.” Ben points out. 

You remember that week - one of the most stressful of your life. It had taken the combined efforts of Alexandria, the Hilltop and the Kingdom to successfully draw them away from the settlements, and even then you were dealing with stragglers for the rest of the month. It seems like when you redirected them you might have sent them straight towards this new guy’s setup. It raises a flare of guilt in you, which you do your best to shove away. It’ll all be made right, if you can accept him here. 

“He seems stable.” Gabriel says. “And based on how he answered your questions, capable. He struck you as…” He pauses, searching for a word. “Normal?” He settles on, smiling to himself at the awkward choice. 

“If we’re trusting my judgement, I think he would fit in well here.” Aaron confirms. 

Looks are traded around your living room before Gabriel speaks again. “I guess we’ll put it to vote then.” He says. “All in favor of accepting Arthur into Alexandria?”

Your hand goes up immediately, as do Aaron’s and Carl’s. Ben joins you, and then Alice, and then the matter is settled. He’s in. You drop your hand with a grin. Your life just got a whole lot better. 

“Then we just have to decide where to put him.” Aaron says cheerfully. “Just based on what I know-”

“I’ll take him.” 

You and Carl say it at the same time, voices overlapping almost neatly. Immediately, your eyes find his, and you simply look at each other for a quick moment. “He said he used to work in construction.” You say. “I’ve been saying how much my crew needs someone with actual experience. I mean, imagine how much faster we would be able to get repairs done; and then we could actually start on improving and expanding-”

“And I’ve been saying the same thing.” Carl says. “If I’m going to start scavenging out further I need people on my team that have experience living out on the road. That can handle themselves. And he’s got fresh experience. Two weeks living behind these walls, working construction, and he’s going to lose that, and it’s invaluable.”

“But his construction experience is just as invaluable.” You say. You’re a little annoyed that he’s jumped on this when you’ve talked about how you’ve been waiting to get your hands on someone with real-world experience. “Sure, he’s been on the road for a bit, but he’s probably got years of work under his belt. That has to trump, what a month, out in the wild, right?”

“Does it?” Carl shoots back. “The people I’m working with now have lived behind these walls since they were put up. They don’t have real experience out there, and the whole community suffers for it. If we had people with experience, people that have been on the road and know how to scavenge and where to look for hidden things, everyone would benefit.”

The logic to his reasoning bothers you immediately. It’s clear that he thinks his work is more important than yours just from the way that he talks. As if there would even be a community without you. Without the walls that you helped build and that you constantly worry over. “What are you doing right now?” You ask, lowering your voice slightly. 

But Carl just presses on. “Even you depend on the scavengers.” He says. “There wouldn’t be supplies to do the repairs or maintenance or whatever without us going out and getting them. The community needs me and my crew more.”

The tension between you changes, all the electric charge in the air turning into thick static. Anger and annoyance flood your system, and you laugh, cold and mean. “What are you talking about?” You pin him with a look. “We’ve always given people careers based on their old world experience. I don’t know where you’ve been, but that's how things work here-”

“Alright, there’s no need to be mean about it.” Aaron buts in. 

Gabriel closely follows. “Let’s be civil.”

“Sorry, how is just outright saying ‘my job is more important than yours’ not unnecessarily rude?” You turn your gaze to Aaron now. 

“I never said it wasn’t!” Aaron placates, shifting in his seat to look at Carl. “I’m just trying to keep things from getting heated-”

“Oh, come on.” Carl says, rolling his eye. “I can’t even make a case? What happened to being able to speak our minds-”

“So that’s what you really think then?” You say. “That everything I do is just, inferior to what you’re up to.” You feel like you could spit venom. You feel fifteen again, seething with hatred for these people that took over your home. You can hear Spencer’s voice in your ear, full of hate and spite for Rick and his crew. 

Carl tries to backpedal. “That’s not-” He sighs. “I’m not trying to say that what you’re doing is unimportant I just need-”

“We all need, Carl.” You cut him off. “We’ve been needing since before you even got here. And for you to say that you need more than anyone else in this room-”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say-” Carl starts. He sounds pissed, and it makes you a little glad to know that you’re bothering him as much as he’s bothering you. That you can dish it out just as good at he can. “I’m just trying to-”

“To what, exactly.” You say, lifting your eyebrows as you challenge him with a look. 

His lip curls up into a snarl. “To fucking-!”

“That’s enough.” Gabriel’s stern voice cuts through the argument, and you settle back in your seat on your couch, slumping into the cushions. “We’ll put it to a vote, and then we’re adjourning. All in favor of having Arthur join the construction crew?”

Your hand flies up, as well as Aaron’s and Alice’s. After a moment, Ben raises his hand as well. You don’t bother to stop yourself from grinning at the victory, knowing that it’ll only serve to make Carl more mad. 

“It’s settled then-”

Without preamble, Carl rises from his seat sharply, and stalks out of your living room. After a moment, you hear the sounds of your front door opening and closing. The vicious part of you that hated Rick and his group surfaces for a moment, and pride fills you. But then the memory of the kiss filters back in, and your stomach sinks. 

“Fuck.”

[previous part] [next part]

[riacte]

I feel like I learned a lot about storytelling + "marketing" a story from Webtoon (the Webtoon from a few years ago when it was still decent). The way it worked was that 1) story blurb to draw in people 2) three initial episodes to get people invested 3) one episode per week. It showed the strength of a strong summary with a genre but without trope tags (unlike fanfiction) or describing your work as abc meets xyz (which seems to be what YA publishing does nowadays?). The three initial episodes introduces tone, artstyle, main characters, main plot, basic worldbuilding, and is supposed to quickly "hook" the reader. I like the format of three initial episodes (instead of one) because the first episode is usually different (given its main purpose is to grab the attention of new people), the other two gives you a taste of what a "standard weekly update" might contain.

I feel a lot of Webtoons start with a strong premise/ gimmick/ hook but they don't know what to do with it. And that's totally normal because some premises are better when shrouded in mystery and you have to do the hard work of explaining the mystery. I've read Webtoons that start with one premise, then it gets sidelined in the middle as new themes develop, and in the end you realise the "premise" was a marketing tactic to draw people in and the story is about something else entirely, but you stayed because it was still a good story, and you have no complaints. (Eg. I think people step into I Love Yoo thinking it's a romance, and the first bits do seem like a set up for romance, but it turns out the genre is drama and the romance is a slooooooow burn.) I've read Webtoons that start with one interesting premise, then it fizzles away and turns into a rather standard story for its genre to the point the hook is barely relevant when it was what made it stand out. And on the rare occasion you will find a Webtoon that has its premise, develops the plot from there, sticks with its themes, and the ending is thematically resonant. (I think Cursed Princess Club does a good job at this.) But it's difficult to craft a very consistent and coherent story (especially given the serial format), so it's fine to just kinda sideline or even ditch your premise so long the actual main plot is solid. Your premise is what initially got people reading, but they'll get invested in other things. Maybe you even have to manually create a hook and get into the meat later once your readers are properly invested. But I feel most of the time it's otherwise because you can get a really cool idea but NO CLUE on how to end it and it sucks because either you drag on or give it an unsatisfactory ending. The good thing is that you get a "buffer zone" in which readers are still interested in reading due to the premise/hook and you get the time to properly work things out.

So I don't think a premise has to be completely executed and explained in order for a story to be compelling. If it does its job of bringing in new folks and convincing them to stay long enough to get invested in style/tone/plot/characters/relationships/whatever, sometimes it's easier to let the premise go. Sometimes you want a tonal shift. But at the same time, a premise is so useful for marketing purposes. You can talk about what tropes it has and what media it's influenced by, but what is the story actually about?

[lazycranberrydoodles]

woe mundane monopoly headcanons be upon ye

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