#what even is asentence?

[zerolostwalks]

i’ve always wanted a willex song based fic for favorite tshirt by jake scott 💕

Alex reluctantly let Willie pull away from the kiss, kept one hand on his arm for as long as he could while the other man ducked his head back out of the driver’s side window. 

The smile WIllie left him with burned across his neck and deep into his chest, settling around his heart-aching at having to say goodbye even for just a brief time.

Alex gripped the steering wheel tight, hoping not to combust as he watched Willie walk up to their house, his permanently stained pink Whitney Houston T-Shirt swaying in the wind around Willie’s slightly smaller frame.

3 Sentence AU Prompts

[toosweetwildflowers]

TURNED

Part One

Astarion x Reader

..............

I haven't written fic in a while but this damn vampire has me in a choke hold. This story asks the question: what if asention wasn't the only way to be together forever. I may add more to this if people like it. Hope you enjoy!

.............

Sweat and blood mingled in the atmosphere of the underground dungen. Your eyes were heavy and stinging as you strained to look forward. Your arms lay heavily by your side, your back flush againt a large cold pillar. It was as though you were going through shock, vision blurred, sound around you muffled, vertigo sweeping in; and perhaps you were. In your immediate vision you could see  Shadowheart. Her visage so close you sware you could read the concern and fear like a tapestry were your vision up to the task. She seemed to be speaking, shouting even, although to your reduced senses it appeared inconsequential.

"She's bleeding out. None of the spells I've tried are doing anything. She's going to die."

Another muffled voice, maybe Karlach you couldn't be sure, attempted to calm the worried cleric. You saw Shadowheart close her eyes and steady her breathing. She touched your arm and began chanting a spell under her breath.

You tried to piece together what had occurred. You recall fighting your way through Cazadors palace. Facing off against the bastard as he prepared to sacrifice thousands for his profane assention. You remember Astarion, his resolve unmoved, his desire in that moment to ascended and become untouchable. The way he looked into your eyes when he said he would be better than Cazador. The swell of pride within you when he made that choice. Bringing your attention back to the present you swept your gaze across the battlefield searching for the pale elf. You could faintly make out Astarion's white curls somewhere behind Shadowheart. Blinking several times you saw him knelt down next to what appeared to be Cazador's dead body. While you couldn't see his face, the way his body contorted and heaved it was evident he was crying. In that moment you forgot about your drowsy state and wanted nothing more than to comfort him. You made an attempt to stand up and that's when you noticed. Blood. Lot and lots of blood. All over your hands.

You must have given Cazador's swarm quite the fight. You chuckled to yourself only to find agonizing pain in both your chest and abdomen. Your eyes  drifted to your abdomen and that's when you finally put things together.

The blood was yours. It saturated your robes and pooled on the ground beneath you. Despite shodowheart's continued effects to heal you, you knew you were fading. You expected to feel lost, scared, even abandoned in this moment but truly you felt peace. You looked around to your companions and felt loved. No matter what happened to you, you convinced yourself they would go on to continue healing and live the lives they never had the chance to. You smiled to yourself, evidently loosing your touch to reality as you continued to bleed out. You felt Karlach grab your shoulder.

"Don't give into it soldier. We'll get you patched up. You just stay with me OK." Her words feigned optimism and bravery but the look on her face gave way to fear.

You suddenly felt shadowheart's warm hands cupping your face taking the weight off of your now heavy head. She moved your head from side to side as if the movement alone would give her any new information about your condition. Then she spoke, weather it was intended for you to hear or a communication to Karlach you weren't sure, but what she said caused you to react.

"We've waited long enough. Where the hell is Astarion we need to get her back to camp."

The words cut through your faded state momentarily. No you couldn't, you wouldn't interrupt Astarion's moment. He had waited literal centuries for the opportunity to be truly and honestly free. He had finally let himself cry and release some of that pent up trauma.

You were fine surely.

Karlach released your shoulder and stood from her crouched position at your side. She had her sights on Astarion but before she could take more then a step you mustered enough strength to grab onto her leg.

"No. Don't. Please." Your words came out ragged and you could taste the blood seeping it's way down your throat.

Karlach met your gaze with empathy. She knew, in her way, exactly what you were trying to avoid. She held your gaze and took your hand in hers.

"I'm sorry". She spoke softly before turning her head and shouting Astarions name.

Before you could so much as blink he was by your side. His face creased in worry, sparce tears still trailing down his cheeks. You raised a hand to wipe them away. You'd never get over the soft yet cold feel of his skin. Like poreceline or marble it was perfect. He was perfect. When he spoke it came out rushed and strained as if he couldn't get the words out fast enough. He looked to Shadowheart almost pleading but he kept his tone sharp.

"What happened to her. Can you heal her? Please."

Shadowheart shook her head slightly, evidently drained from the magic she had been conjuring to keep you breathing.

"I'm sorry Astarion I've done everything I can. God's I'm so so sorry". She stood and welcomed Karlach's embrace as tears formed in the edges of her eyes.

Astarion shook his head several times unwilling to believe it. You took his hand in yours and with the other you lifted his chin to meet your eyes.

"I'm so proud of you my love". You soke softly unable to give your voice much more of your energy. He tried to look away as more tears brimmed his eyes but you brought his chin back to face you and continued. "You faced him and you won. You're free after all this time. Hold on to that. No matter what happens to me I.."

Astarion interrupted you, tears falling down his face no longer able to keep them at bay. "I can't lose you. I won't lose the first person I've ever really cared about."

His voice became harsher almost angry. He couldn't accept this not after everything you two had gone through. "I can't. I won't."

You grabbed his face in your hands giving everything you had left. " I love you Astarion. You are so so loved."

And that was it. The world around you began to fade to black as you fell to your side no longer able to hold him. You watched, as if in slow motion, Astarion grip your shoulders to avoid you hitting your head. He looked around frantically. In that moment he had to make a choice. He closed his eyes and laid you gently on the floor on your back. Then he stood and let out a sigh before turning around and making his way towards Cazador's limp body.

You watched through almost blackened vision as a Astarion knelt beside the body and without hesitation chomped down on it'd neck. He was drinking from Cazador. But why?

You tried to remember what Astarion once said about the differences between spawn and mature vampires. One simply had to drink the blood of the one who turned them to become a full vampire. Not an easy task if that someone was your abusive master. You considered Astarion's motivations. Sure he would have more power being a true vampire but he still wouldn't be able to walk in the sun nor enjoy the food of the living. Gods the only thing it would bring besides power would of course be the ability to turn others...

Then it hit you, he was doing it for you. To turn you. To save you. You wanted to tell him he didn't need to. That you weren't worth saving, not if it ment he would live with the guilt of turning you.

You tried to speak as he approached you but the words would not form. He knelt beside you and you could see blood dripping from his chin. No not just blood, but tears too. He lifted your upper body into his arms and cradled you as he sat with his back to the piller. You felt his cold touch as he wiped strands of hair off your sweat and blood ridden face. He did so with the gentlest touch as if time had frozen and he could hold you like this forever. When he spoke he didn't take his eyes off yours.

"Go. Get everyone out of here". He motioned towards Cazador's staff with the hand he had been carresing your face with. He meant to release the spawn in those cages. Set them free into the underdark. Gods you were so proud of him. Karlach and Shadowheart both hesitated for a moment.

"Go! I'll get her out of here. I.....promise". That must have been enough to convince them as they swiftly made their way out of the large chamber.

Now it was just you and Astarion. He cradled your head and brought his lips towards your neck. He kissed your pulse point gently and whispered in your ear.

"I'm sorry my love but i am a selfish bastard. I won't lose you."

He turned your head to face him leaving the ghost of a kiss on your lips before returning his attention back to your neck seeking your weakened pulse. "This is going to hurt. Like no pain you've ever known." For a moment he closed his eyes and you could tell he was reliving his own tortous turning at the hands of Cazador.

He opened his eyes again before he spoke. A fire in them. A defiance. "But you won't be alone. I'll be here. I'll get you through it. I won't leave you darling".

You felt his icy breath on your neck right before the sting of his fangs as they broke skin.

For a moment it felt like any other feeding, an initial pain leading to pleasure even arousal, but that swiftly changed. You felt excruciating pain beginning in your heart, as if your very stomach acid was being injected directly into your aorta. You bagen to wither in Astarion's arms, unconsciously and reflexively trying to escape the burning sensation. He held you close keeping his mouth on you still. The burning only intensified as your body began spazzing without your consent. It was exactly as Astarion had described. You tried to convince your body you were safe, that he was right there. The man you loved was right there and once the venum had spred you truly would be able to love him for eternity.

You felt Astarion release your neck and as he turned your face to his you tried to convey gratitude. Then you wanted to plead with him not to watch. Then all you could feel, all you could think was pain.

[chaitanyavijnanam]

Osho Daily Meditations - 08. NON JUDGMENT / ఓషో రోజువారీ ధ్యానాలు - 08. తీర్పు చెప్పకండి

🌹. ఓషో రోజువారీ ధ్యానాలు - 08 / Osho Daily Meditations - 08 🌹 ✍️. ప్రసాద్ భరద్వా�� 🍀 08. తీర్పు చెప్పకండి 🍀 🕉. మీరు తీర్పు చెప్పినప్పుడు, విభజన ప్రారంభమవుతుంది 🕉

మీరు స్నేహితుడితో లోతైన సంభాషణలో ఉన్నప్పుడు అకస్మాత్తుగా మీకు నిశ్శబ్దంగా ఉండాలి అనిపించవచ్చు. వాక్యం మధ్యలో మాట్లాడటం ఆపివేయాలనిపిస్తుంది. అప్పుడు అక్కడే ఆగి, మిగిలిన వాక్యాన్ని కూడా పూర్తి చేయకండి, ఎందుకంటే అది ప్రకృతికి విరుద్ధం అవుతుంది. కానీ అప్పుడు తీర్పు వస్తుంది. మీరు అకస్మాత్తుగా మధ్యలో మాట్లాడటం మానేస్తే ఇతరులు ఏమనుకుంటారో అని మీరు ఇబ్బంది పడతారు. మీరు అకస్మాత్తుగా మౌనంగా ఉంటే, వారు అర్థం చేసుకోలేరు, కాబట్టి మీరు వాక్యాన్ని ఎలాగైనా పూర్తి చేస్తారు. మీరు ఆసక్తి చూపినట్లు నటిస్తారు, ఆపై మీరు చివరకు తప్పించు కుంటారు. ఇది చాలా ఇబ్బందితో కూడుకున్నది, చేయవలసిన అవసరం లేదు.

ఆ సంభాషణ ఇప్పుడు మీకు రావడం లేదని చెప్పండి. మీరు క్షమించమని అడగవచ్చు మరియు మౌనంగా ఉండవచ్చు. కొన్ని రోజులకు ఇది కొంచెం ఇబ్బందిగా ఉంటుంది, కానీ ప్రజలు అర్థం చేసుకోవడం ప్రారంభిస్తారు. మీరు ఎందుకు మౌనంగా ఉన్నారనే దాని గురించి మీరే తీర్పు చెప్పకండి; ఇది మంచిది కాదని మీరే చెప్పకండి. అంతా బాగుంది! లోతైన అంగీకారంలో, ప్రతిదీ ఒక ఆశీర్వాదం అవుతుంది. ఇది ఇలా జరిగింది - మీ మొత్తం జీవి మౌనంగా ఉండాలని కోరుకుంటుంది. కాబట్టి దానిని అనుసరించండి. మీ సంపూర్ణతకు నీడగా మారండి మరియు అది ఎక్కడికి వెళ్లినా మీరు అనుసరించాలి ఎందుకంటే వేరే లక్ష్యం లేదు. మీరు మీ చుట్టూ విపరీతమైన విశ్రాంతిని అనుభవించడం ప్రారంభిస్తారు.

కొనసాగుతుంది...

🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹

🌹 Osho Daily Meditations - 8 🌹 📚. Prasad Bharadwaj 🍀 08. NON JUDGMENT 🍀 🕉 When you judge, division starts 🕉

You may be talking in deep conversation with a friend when suddenly you feel like being silent. You want to stop talking, right in the middle of the sentence. So stop right there, and don't even complete the rest of the sentence, because that will be going against nature. But then judgment comes in. You feel embarrassed about what others will think if you suddenly stop talking in the middle of asentence. If you suddenly become silent they will not understand, so you somehow manage to complete the sentence. You pretend to show interest, and then you finally escape. That is very costly, and there is no need to do it.

Just say that conversation is not coming to you now. You can ask to be excused, and be silent. For a few days perhaps it will be a little troublesome, but by and by people will begin to understand. Don't judge yourself about why you became silent; don't tell yourself that it is not good. Everything is good! In deep acceptance, everything becomes a blessing. This is how it happened--your whole being wanted to be silent. So follow it. Just become a shadow to your totality, and wherever it goes you have to follow because there is no other goal. You will begin to feel a tremendous relaxation surrounding you.

Continues..

🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹

[mytheoristavenue]

sundrop x single mom reader headcanons??

FNAF SB Sundrop x single mom!Reader HCs

Hey, of course, thanks for the ask!

-Bashful at first. The first time you met Sunny, you were dropping your four year old son off at the daycare on the way to work. You had been in a rush that day, having been late, due to your son not wanting to get dressed. You burst into the daycare, ready to hand off your child, instantly being greeted by Sunny. He tried to greet you as best he could, but you cut him off, rambling about (S/N)'s allergies, upsets, and comforts, and that you'd be back to pick him up around three. Sunny was instantly taken by you, speachless as you continued a flustered ramble. Finally, you kissed your child's forehead, and tore out of the Pizzaplex at light speed.

"Hello, how are you new frien-?"

"I'm so sorry sir, I have to go, my name is (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), this is my son, (S/N), here's my drop off ticket, okay, he's got this weird thing with velvet, so if he touches it, he'll cry, but just pat his back and he should calm down, he has caps on his teeth, so please no sweets, oh and he's allergic to peanuts, okay, I gotta go, I'll be back around three. (S/N) be good, okay, bye!"

-He asks your son about you. After you left, and Sunny had (S/N) settled into the daycare, he found a chance to ask him about you while they were coloring pictures. Your son told Sunny that you like flowers and the smell of vanilla, and went back to drawing a crude representation of the bot looking after him.

"So, friend, your mom, what kinds of things does she like?"

"Hmmm, well she really likes flowers, and she likes to smell like vanilla, so that, I guess?"

-He began making crafts for you. That day, when you came to pick up (S/N) from the daycare, you entered the doors, dragging yourself as you went, exhausted. You were suprised to find your son running up to you, dragging Sunny by his index figer, with the biggest grin you'd ever seen on his face. He explained to you that he and Sunny had made you a boquet of multicolored chrysanthimums out of tissue paper and pipe cleaners. Your child eagarly showed the bunch into your arms, encouraging you to smell them. To your suprise they smelled like vanilla. When you asked, he told you that Sunny had had the idea to place scratch and sniff stickes in the middle of each flower to make them smell nice. You were so flattered, blushing a bit with a wide smile.

"Well, Mr. Sundrop, that is very sweet of you. Thank you."

"O-Oh, you're very welcome miss! Heh Heh."

-He becomes sweet on you. After that first day, Sunny became more and more infatuated with you, memorizing the exact minute that you usually came in to drop (S/N) off, and waiting by the door. Sometimes, he even had a muffin or something of the like waiting for you, knowing you tended to not eat in the mornings for fear of running late. He gathered information about you daily from your son and added it to his priority database, feeling as if any detail about you was of the upmost importance.

"Goood morning, Miss (Y/N)! I've got a blueberry muffin with your name on it! How was your morning?"

-(S/N) becomes his favorite charge. As Sunny's feelings for you developed, so did his for your son, He came to love having your son in the daycare, adoring the time they got so spend together. They'd spend hours at the crafts table drawing pictures for you or making other small keepsakes to hang on your refridgerator. You were also aware of how fond (S/N) was of Sunny. He adored the daycare attendent, constantly talking about him at home, and begging for any merch with Sunny's face on it. He even gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before he left, and when he arrived every single day.

"Bye, Sunny! I love you!"

"I'll see ya tomorrow, Shining Star! I love you too!"

-Eventually, (S/N) starts calling Sunny 'Dad'. It was shocking at first, and even bothered you a little. Your ex husband had been asent most of his life, but he was still there on occassion. You later got passed your hang ups about it, even referring to Sunny as his 'dad', and his biological dad his 'father' to avoid comfusion. After all, Sunny adored, (S/N), so who were you to take away something that made oyur child so happy?

"Come on, sweetheart, let's get going so you can go see your dad."

-Sunny asks you to marry him. It was jarring yes, and of course, you declined. Not only for the fact that he was a robot, and you legally oculdn't marry him, but also for the fact that you hadn't been dating. Sunny reasoned that you both should just get married so the three of you could be a real family, you the mom, him the dad, and (S/N) the child. You had to admit, it was very sweet. Finally, you caved, suggesting that you both try dating, and then see what happens.

"Miss, (Y/N), good morning, will you marry me?"

"Say yes, Mom, say yes!"

"What? No! Sunny, we've never even been on a date, we can't get married!"

"But if we get married, we'll be a family!"

"You silly, we can still be a family without being married!"

"We can?!"

*Sigh* "Why don't I try being your girlfriend before I become your wife?"

"Deal!"

[amazing-graces-pouring-down]

The Angst I want. But actually would cry if it happened.

This popped in my head during a dream. I finished part five of Jjba. And god. So good.

This is a what if Mista and Giorno switched. Not Mista and Narancia.

SPOILERS. (EDITED)

"Narancia, keep your eyes out! He's around here." Bruno spun his head around, disturbing the long pink hair cascading down his exposed back.

"Okay!"

Aerosmith appeared not out of Narancia's wiry frame, but Trish's. Which isn't actually Trish, but Narancia himself. God it was too confusing to keep track of everyone. Mista could hardly believe that Giorno was standing two feet from Bucciarati in his own body. It wasnt a feeling he liked. Was his back really that wide? How could he not be weirded out. He was watching his body like it was a damn movie!

Mista shook his head, feeling long golden waves of hair shift along his back and neck.

Weird.

"Mista! We think we got him! He hasn't moved since!"

"Thank you, Number Five. Tell Six and Three to return and keep an eye from a distance. His range is two meters."

The pistol asented with tears and disappeared. Mista sighed at the familiar feeling of Sex Pistols. He at least had that comfort, if he had somehow switched stands with Giorno....

Well. He wouldn't know what to do.

Sex pistols never listened and always stole his food. They were loud and fought with each other, they cried and screamed and begged.

But they were his. They were one and the same. They were different. He fed them, and spoke to them, and hated when they were injured instead of himself. He honestly cared for his stand, a point which Fugo- that bastard- brought up in insults all the time.

He couldn't care less.

Mista thinks about his stands. How they were hardly ever able to be out without fighting now. Maybe when this whole thing was over he would take a day to just let them run about. It always was a relief to have them safely in his consciousness, but when they were out and about he felt less trapped in his own head.

Gah. He was confusing himself. Focus Mista, damnit.

Narancia and Trish had switched bodies and he could vaguely hear Trish smacking the boy senseless for grabbing her underwear. Mista felt slight annoyance at them but He could hardly blame them. It was a shocking feeling. He then turned to the furthest two from him, Giorno and Bucciarati. He occupied himself with staring at the now limp body (which hopefully was holding the boss down) for a minute before Number 2 and Number 6 appeared.

"Mista, it doesn't seem like anyone is here besides us."

He nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Guys."

He watched as they high fived in joy, smirking. "How about when we kick the boss's ass, I buy you all a cake to eat all by yourselves?" They immediately started telling the others. Mista could feel their collective excitement through his connection to them. Animated as they always were, quick to anger- even easier to please. Not surprisingly, just like Mista himself.

"Really?" "Awesome!!!" "Yay Mista!!"

God was he tired. Mista just wants to-

And suddenly the idle whispering of his team silenced. He felt his heart skip several beats, like he teleported.

Well, he supposes he did. Since for some reason he can see the top of Giorno's-his- head. And his vision was tilted toward the high arches of the colloseum.

He tried to speak but all that came up was blood.

....Blood?

And then the world exploded into screams. Six tinny and terrified screams.

"MISTA! NOOOO!"

How? What happened, why is he up here?? He can't move his body, something thick is rammed through his -Giorno's- throat, his hands, feet, arms, legs, everything is impaled.

It fucking hurt. It hurt so bad he didnt draw breath. He can't even see anything below his eye level. But he can hear Bruno scream over his stand. He feels six pairs of tiny hands start patting his face, and can hear the mad scramble of feet against rough concrete.

"MOVE, MOVE I I HAVE TO GET THROUGH!"

God is that what his voice sounds like? Rough. Even so, It was unmistakably Giorno speaking. He could tell.

Oh.

Mista is dying.

Right.

He feels Number Five try to press his little hands around a particularly gushing wound, but to no use. Being a size small enough to bounce bullets makes a horrible size to apply pressure to wounds.

He hears Sticky Fingers zippers rather than feels them. Even before they appear he csn hear a deep booming voice call the stand out.

And then he's tilting almost in slow motion before he briefly see' s the faces of his team.

And his stand.

They all start yelling and he sees his own face hover over his view. He can make out Trish's pink hairdo just past the metal bar that bisects his neck, he hasn't even realized he can't breathe.

"Mista. Mista! I'm gonna change the bars into flesh. It's gonna hurt. Hang on!"

Giorno had already started the process of 'healing' him. Golden Experience hovering over Giorno's shoulder like an angel. Mista braced for the insurnountable pain.....but he felt light as air. There was golden light brightening his own face - and wasn't that a weird sight.

He mentally called his stand towards him and they instantly obeyed.

Hah

Of course they listen now.

"Miista, please. Get up! We didn't see anyone come toward you!" Number 3.

"If we hadnt been distracted we could have helped you!" Two.

"Please.... please get up Mista.... Giorno- Giorno is healing you. He- he can do anything!" That was Seven.

"How?? Bucciarati's body never moved! I thought his range was only a few meters! Mista is far away!" One. Always the practical thinker.

He almost laughed at his own thought.

Yeah right.

“Don’t let your guard down! We don’t know his true power!” Bruno shouts over the panic and tears, bringing his attention to the situation.

Six was silent, he could see the Pistol hovering over Giorno's bloody hands. He had fixed his throat, apparently, considering he now can look around without a bloody pipe blocking his view.

Number Five was sobbing next to his ear, a place he usually occupied in his hat. Quiet pained sobs replaced the loud calling wail he was used to.

"Mista.... Mista... I'm sorry Mista..."

Mista thinks Number 5 knew even before himself that Giorno was healing a dead man.

He could feel their collective spirit start to slip. And he knew he had to say something.

But when he looked up, he saw all his friends hovering and waiting. He realized he couldn't. He feels his Pistols flatten themselves to his chest and neck, clinging to him in their death like children. He just wishes he could offer more than comforting thoughts to them. Like a hug, or words or, you know, living through this.

Giorno was still talking to him, Trish held Narancia's shoulder as he leaned hopefully over the newest healed wound. Trish s face with Narancia's expression was a sight to see.

Bucciarati was looking straight at him, and Mista was comforted by the presence of Bucciarati. He could die peacefully knowing Bruno was there. He blinked slowly and his vision disappeared. Did he shut his eyes? No.

No. But he strained to hear Giorno's soothing words.

"There, Mista. I know it hurts. It's okay I have only the bars in your chest to fix. You'll be fine. I'll-"

"It doesn't hurt."

Mista tries to feel surprised that Number 5 speaks so closely to his ear, but he's not. He always counted on the little pistol to crouch by his ear and relay instructions between him and the pistols. Even if it’s not needed- he truthfully liked keeping 5 close- he knew he would be there.

It's just what he did.

"Number 5..."

"He's...Giorno....we're d-."

"No, I'm fixing you right now its-"

"Miata...I’m scared." Number five wept, pressing his face into his users neck.

And then they were gone. The pistols disolved.

Giorno whipped his head up fast enough to shift the hat he wore, his now dark hair peaking under the fabric in the back.

"Mista? Mista!"

Giorno put his hands on Mista's cheeks. Feeling for something. Anything. Gently shaking his own body to stir his friend awake.

Blue eyes opened themselves like they hadn't already been halfway closed.

"Mista!! Giorno, you did it! He's okay!" Bruno kneeled next to Narancia, feeling relief for merely a moment.

"No... Narancia. He's... gone. It's empty.... I couldn't...." The joined voices of Mista and Giorno rang like bells, quietly soft and harmonic in a way.

"He's gone. I can slip right in its so empty."

Mista's black eyes greyed out as his limp body fell back, cushioned by Brunos arms and Narancia's legs. Fat tears dropped from lifeless lips as Giorno's residual sadness left Mista's cheeks wet.

Giorno jolted into his own body with a shudder and a gasp.

"MISTA! NOOOO!"

Fine -for now.

[targsdaenerys]

let me tell you all a story. a story of my experience with ouat.

2012.

in fourth grade, i was watching american idol. during commercials, i viewed a promo consisting of a dragon and unicorns. now, at the time, unicorns were my ver y favorite, so of course, i was intrigued. i told my mom that i heard about a show with unicrons, but that i didnt know what it was called. she told me how she had heard of it and wanted to check it out. after watching the season one interviews between red and snow, she believed it was too old for me. i agreed. no unicorns. not what i was expecting.

2013.

a year passes. fifth grade was a blur, and all i know is that we went to disney. i had no idea what would change since then.

2014.

my friends are suddenly starting to talk about this kid’s eyebrows. how they are “so hot” and “sexy”. she showed me a picture off of robbie kay’s instagram and i laughed. ha, peter pan? whatever.

but then, it started to reoccur each monday, they would talk about it. i actually started to look forward to monday lunch periods. i begged them to discuss what they thought of the episode. once again, i was intrigued. 

so of course, i wanted to see what the fuss was about. whats this big deal with peter pan? and who the hell’s rumple after only a few clips, i suddenly loved snow and charming. i needed more. i needed to watch.

so i tried. desperately.  i only had an ipad, and was unaware it was on netlfix, so i tried to watch the first episode of the series by typing in “once upon a time season 1 episode one online free to any platform.i actually was able to find it and went in excitedly the next day to tell my friends. that was when i learned it was on netflix and thati could not wait to get home and watch it. so i did. but the thing is, i was only there for snow and charming scenes.  i literally only skipped to their scenes. thats how i watched the show.

but then, as i was scrolling around youtube one day looking forsscenes for them, i came across “Emma and Hook Kiss scene” my frirst thought? it was between “ew”and “serioulsy?”

i watched it anyway.

and to behonest, it was kind of just a “okay, that happened” kind of thing. it wasnt until my friend told me after the season 3 finle that emma and hook kissed again before i got alitle excited. not much more, though.

then months pass, and suddenly, scrolling around netflix, i come across the hunger games. i held a grudge against the series since it became big with the popular group in my school that year. but i was thirsty for romance. and i heard it had some.

and thats how i fell in love with everlark. one night. the next morning i started following pages on instagram. i look up the ship on googlge. and tumblr posts pop up. i make a tumblr.

i start to follow pages on there with everlark, but then i start to see things on both platforms. emma and hook. and then, i slowly started to fall in love. not much. i just watch a couple of their scenes during season three, come across their second kiss. getting really, really excitated for the fourth season.

at the point, i had written about two everlark fanfictions. i wanted to write one about emma and hook, but i had no i dea how. or what .

but then tumblr inspired me. to the point where i started to freak out over every episode no matter how small the scenes were. in october of seventh grade, i wrote my first captain swan fanifction. i also drew my first drawing that i never thought i was able to do. sure, it was with a sketchbook my aunt got me in second grade and a #2 pecil, but i believe its still beautiful.��it wasnt long after i actually found the name, captain swan, rather than using “kemma” or “killimma”.

2015.

and from there, my obsession sky rocketed. i stayed up until four every night after an episode, despite schol the next morning. i wrote little drabbles that arelong since gone ever since my laptop broke. i drew more drawings, i rewatched every scene until thats all that was in my head.the s4 finale was as hard on me as everyone else, and i tried to write a specualtion fic to the s5 premiere. i neverfinshed. although, looking back at the writing now, i can still feel the pain i was in by it.

and then season five started. again, i freaked out as much as everyone else. every episode. i still remeber the week after the first episode, we lost someone int he fandom. we miss you, love.

and then it was late october.saturday the 22nd, my mom came into my room to ask me if id seen my friend alyssa that day. she was a year older than me, afreshman in highschool. i didnt, so i told her. i didnt ever think what might have been.the following day, i was working at the food pantry when my mom caled me.they had found alyssa. but she wasnt okay.maybe in her mind she may have been the best shes ever been, but to us,she wasnt.

no one else knew, and i had to walk home in silence. i didnt cry because at the time we werent as close as the year before and it didnt hit me.but then my mother’s words repeated in my head. “Alyssa died, sweetie.” it was asentence i never forgot.

im not the best at keeping my emtions with myself. i always think people will judge me and call me selfish if i cry, and i didnt want it to be like that. so i kept it in.i kept the tears in for so, so long, even to the point here i didnt even cry at her wake where she looked like an angel although the scarf around her neck was something shed never wear. and what kept my sanity? once upon a time. it was then when i realized it was my anchor. 

2016.

back in 2015 my mother made me audtion for a vocational school. earlier that year i had found its dance program and wanted to go, but along the way my intrest dwindled. she told me to give it a shot anyway because i had a very low chance of making it in due to my grades at the time. 

i made it in. 

the following months were the worst of my life. every day on the way home from dance wed fight about which high school was better, and although she was right about me going to the vocational one, i wanted to stay in my district. lets just say the only thing that kept me from following alyssa into the darkness was dance competitions. oh, and what else. the damn once upon a time episodes.

she forced me to go to that school, by the way. sure, i enjoy it now, but the people there suck and i still do not like how she went at it.

that fall, i take my friend to our first convention.since i started watching oneupon a time, i wanted others to watch it, and my one friend agreed to. until the end of the neverland arc.  and peter pan died. no more ouat for her. but, since robbie was going to be there, lets go. she got a picture with him, i got a picture with bex. yayay.

2017.

last week, we experienced the best sunday of our life. a wedding we never really thought would happen. it was unbelievable. emma got her happy ending(or beginning) aand we got ours. it was so thrilling that even my friend who stopped watching in season three was excited. but as much as it was unbeliable the night, the following morning was too.

that was the most giddiest i had ever felt for school. every more we have a forty five minute bus ride and the but whole time i listened to the musical on repeat. but then, as i looked down to pause the music as we pulled into school, i saw my friends text. Jen’s facebook post.

i was in a daze all day.

it wasnt until lunch, the last period since it was a half day, where i just broke down. people asked me what was wrong and i explained as best i could, but shitty people have shitty outlooks on things and they didnt understand. it was the loneliest ive ever felt.

my mom kind of comforted me, telling me how she felt the same when parent hood ended and that ill find a new show ill like just the same, but one upon a time is special. no show can replace or even add onto what kind of mark it had left on me. it was what started my career in wririting and drawing. in someways it kept me alive. and what did people do when i told them this? they laughed.

it was tuesday night when i ran down stairs, telling my mom about convention tickets for colin and jen photo op i found on sale. we had them in mind for awhile, but never got them. she told me wed look into it. we missed the sale.

so here we were, here i was, aall i was able to think about was how id never meet the people who played the characters that shaped me and my future. until the next morning, my birthday, where i was given the tickets.

and today,to night, was pretty much the end of the storybook. im not going to go into it because i have it on a post from about an hour ago. but thank you everyone, for helping me be me. and thank you for this blessed oppurtuniy, in which i had never and will never take for granted, to be a part of such a magical communtiy. because of this platform i have aspired my career of writing, drawing, and fulfilling my dreams of being a princess by being able to contact disney about the program.if it wasnt for this damned, beautiful fucking shwow, i would probably bedrastically different. this story we created is timeless, a neverending fairytale in both real life and on screen. the story contiues for ever and ever in our hearts and writing and drawing and all of the incredible talents we all have.

[thegreatphoenixflame]

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