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grimm-writings · 11 months ago

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rainfall

…ft! dazai, chuuya, fyodor x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, some hurt/comfort on dazai’s, headcanon format, rainy day off with the boys!

…wc! 308 ; 369 ; 345 = 1022

…notes! i don’t think i’ve ever seen fluffy idiot content of fyodor. i must rectify this.

Dazai

Dazai treasures rainy days more than anything.

“Oops sorry Kunikida, I can’t come in to work!!! Rain is just sooo heavy you know?”

The office is literally down the block he’s just not bothered

Who needs work when he has his beautiful partner?!

That’s what he whispers to you with a giggle and a grin as he nuzzles into your back.

Most times, that’s all it really comes to: a sleepy Dazai, cute compliments, and being lovingly held against your will.

Other days, it isn’t so easy.

He’s like a rock. The only notion you have that he’s awake is one of his eyes staring at the window outside, at the rain. He doesn’t even message about his absence in advance this time – that’s up to you.

He isn’t as snuggly, but he doesn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around him and holding him.

Eating isn’t exactly something on his mind on these sort of days. Even with that in mind, he’s always sure to quietly thank you when you hand-feed him meals.

Those days are difficult, but you make them easier.

“You have work today, right? Don’t bother with the dishes,” Dazai calls out to you from the bedroom. The clattering of the porcelain couldn’t exactly be hidden, you admit. Dazai sighs as you continue washing and drying. New weight on the bed behind him makes him aware of your presence a few minutes later. Your arms wrap around him without hesitation. “You don’t have to stay,” he says to you when the silence becomes too much for him. You merely snuggle further into his bandaged body. “Yeah. I want to, though.” To his own surprise, Dazai relaxes into your touch and words. “...Well.” He smiles for the first time all day, softly, and his eyes linger up to the rainfall again. “If you say so.”

Chuuya

Days off are all too rare in Chuuya’s line of work.

As soon as he’s free, he’s tiredly at your side, and he is not leaving.

Seriously he is … so clingy when he’s tired. Whether you’re shorter or taller than him, prepare for his arms to be slung over your shoulders and his face in your hair.

Mention it to him and he’s grumbling all crabby lol.

You’ll have to wake up in the mornings to his work clothes sloppily discarded throughout the hallway to your room. He wanted to conk out STAT.

He insists he’ll pick it up later (when he’s getting dressed for work again)

Rainy days aren’t exactly anything that stops him from working, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take the opportunity to call in for a day off once in a while. He can almost hear the smile on Mori’s face over the phone telling him to enjoy it.

He’s fairly average at cooking when he eventually does get up, maybe sometime in early afternoon. If he’s too sleepy though? …Yeah, keep him away from the heat.

Overall, it feels… super domestic having these free days with him. He wouldn’t mind this every day, if the opportunity presents itself.

If you knew you’d be greeted to this, you would have woken up a little earlier to at least catch him. “Mornin’!” Chuuya leans back against the kitchen counter, breakfast on the table between you two. A tired smirk is on his face, proud of his cooking. Simply dressed in his work shirt and his boxers, the look of him is just too much for you to handle right now. You walk over to give him a small peck on the cheek, thanking him gently. As you eat, wondering what it’d be like if he could make you breakfast every morning, you glance up and point a fork at him. “After this, I want some snuggles for at least another hour.” Chuuya couldn’t stop himself from scoffing playfully at your ‘threat’, resting his chin on his palm. “Well… I’ll see what I can do.” You smile, digging back into your food. You know he wouldn’t let you go once you’re back under covers.

Fyodor

It all started with you judgementally asking if he even has a life outside his work.

You didn’t expect him to get so offended, but his glance over and raised eyebrow gave you all you needed to know about his answer.

The next morning, you didn’t expect to actually have him be beside you as you shake slumber off you. He’s almost always at his computer by the time you’re up.

It’s not as if Fyodor is neglectful in any way, he’s just … a little peculiar in his habits, for lack of any nicer terms.

Before you could even ask, he’s already greeting you in a gentle voice, tacking on a sweet nickname on the end of it.

Oh. Oh he was awake the whole time.

This is a competition to him.

You could almost sigh in disbelief. For someone supposedly so intelligent and wise, he sure has his moments.

Rainy days with Fyodor are spent with him suggesting activities to do together, but it’s very obvious he just put “at home activities” in the search bar and clicked the first link.

You don’t remember having this many board games. How did he do this.

The night comes to a close as Fyodor sits with you in his lap, finishing up some professionally recorded opera of sorts. You couldn’t understand half of it, but Fyodor laughed at it a few times, so it must have been good. His chin rests on your shoulder and you can feel his smile. “So, did I prove you wrong?” “...What, about having a life?” You can’t help but roll your eyes. “You sure proved something alright.” Fyodor hums, sarcasm dripping from just that single note. “You should treat me more fairly. I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.” You would bite back with another retort, if not for Fyodor twisting his neck so he could peck your lips before resting back against the chair. Trying to ignore the flush of your cheeks, you sigh. “You’ll get it with practice.” “Ah, so there IS a next time.” “Shut it.”

#✮ grimm's fics!#bsd #bsd x you #bsd x reader #bsd imagines #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #fyodor x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd scenarios #bsd fluff #bsd headcanons #osamu dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader #dazai fluff #chuuya fluff #fyodor fluff #bungou stray dogs

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matchadobo · 5 months ago

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KIDD; what are we?

wc: 555

summary: you ask kidd the burning question during the act.

warning/s: 🔞nsfw, afab reader, smut-fluff, actual seggs

"what are we?"

kidd blinked at you, he was frozen. he was still inside you, cock throbbing and heavy. you were holding onto his face, your eyes teary and cheeks flushed. he had his hips prying your legs open but his movements came to a stop at your statement. his face was close, so close you could see his eyes shaking.

he took a lot of staring before snorting and chuckling. "you know what we are, bunny. you just wanna hear me say it, aye?"

his hips resumed to rock back and forth, leaning back as he looked down at you. smiling as he gazed at you sinfully. your grip on his arm tightened at his impact.

he was right. you two are not in an official relationship; no vows had been made, no confessions, nor had you two moved further than keeping your beds warm. but you two are clearly aware that you two belong to each other. aware that it's only him and only you in his life. aware that nobody else other than the both of you can make you feel as good as each other do. aware that you two want to take it further but are just tiptoeing because you two don't want to break whatever you two have. that's why it's been static.

so when you two came and finished, it was quiet. contrast to the usual nights where you two never ran out of things to talk about. you wanted to say something but what? where do you even start?

"if i said i want more than sex," kidd cleared his throat. "would that change anything?" kidd turned his head to the side, full attention on you.

"i always think to myself, do those kisses mean anything or do you just want to keep my cock warm? do the kisses on my scars mean anything or you just whore over me? do the reminder to fuckin' eat as you barge in my workshop just an invitation for sex or do you actually care about me? are you being patient with me because you genuinely wanna be or just so i still grow fond of you?"

this was the first time kidd had been so vocal about your relationship. that must be why tears are streaming down your cheeks as you listened to his deep, hoarse voice. his golden eyes were burning with genuine concern and anticipation of what you're about to say.

"i care about you. i kiss you because i want to. i kiss your scars because i want you to feel safe and i want you to love your scars. i make sure you eat because i don't want you to get sick from starving yourself. i'm patient with you because i want to. i'm doing everything because i want to. because i love you." and it all spilled out of you, not missing a heartbeat.

and kidd held your gaze firmly while you do so. his cock soft on your stomach, your breasts squished in his embrace, your cunt brushing on his thigh, and your legs entangled with each other. a single tear fell from kidd's eyes.

"of course you do," he chuckled. "but it ain't always you who does the sappy shit, got it? let's have a date tomorrow, sort this all out, aye?"

tumblr formatting is kinda weird?? i don't see some buttons lol. ANW boutta reach 500 oml, i got an event prepared for you guys! i'm soooo excited to be writing again bc college welcomed me with baptism through fire honestly! so hectic. but here we are, i'd love to get my drive back and accept some requests. i hope the absences don't bore you guys ;=;. i swear look forward to the event! i anticipate your requests!

spoiler: i'll be accepting a total of 15 requests for the duration of the event, so 15 fics??? can u imagine????

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iuspired · 9 months ago

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confessions - suna rintarou

about: DEFINITELY ooc but we don’t talk about that 😙 just you nd ur bsf sunarin catching up as per usual with tea to spill from the past 😝 we love to see it!

a/n: i wrote this awhile ago actually🫣 im fully done w finals………. idk what to think im so scared for the future. also trying diff formats and will actually work on my navi post during the summer so bare w me lol. anyways thank u for all the love on my last post mwahhh <3

“you know i used to have a crush on you?” you say, in between bites of your food.

you and your childhood best friend, suna rintarou, are at your promised monthly hangout, which ended up only being every couple months because your universities were far away from each other, so you both settled to meet up whenever your breaks overlapped. but it didn’t matter to you either way because you texted each other almost every other day. whether it was a tiktok link or an 8 ball.

“you used to what?” he replies, mouth agape as he sets his chopsticks down.

“i mean, it wasn’t a huge crush,” you say, … “maybe i was gaslighting myself but we were really close back then y’know?”

“oh? why didn’t you ask me out then?”

“mmm not sure. i guess..” you think about it. it was probably because starting high school, girls were all over him. it was also probably because those same girls would come up to you. passive aggressively ask if you were his girlfriend. you’d reply with a lighthearted laugh, “noo! we’re just close friends. he’s all yours if you want him.” maybe it was because he wouldn’t reciprocate any of the interest and love he received. he always replied, saying something along the lines of ‘oh i’m focusing on school” or just a simple, “i’m not interested”

it was mostly though, because you thought he’d reject you if you initiated something. and not wanting to ruin the relationship you had already built throughout the years, you suppress your feelings.

“you guess?”

“fear of rejection?” you laugh nervously.

“you think i would’ve rejected you?” he asks. he tilts his head, raising his eyebrows, giving you a look as if you were supposed to know.

“you had no interest for anyone so… i mean. i-” you stammer. fuck, why did i even bring this up?!

“well, believe it or not, i too, had a crush on my bestfriend.”

and just like that, you almost spit out your drink. “sorry, you- you liked me?”

“and that’s so surprising because?” he questions.

he really cannot wrap his head around this, huh. “you turned everyone and their mother down? mr. i’m too focused on school and i’m not interested? i could only assume that i was not wanted.”

“but did i ever directly say that to you?”

“no, but you wouldn’t need to. i listened when you rejected their advances, i can take a hint y’know.”

he sighed. “if you had asked me out back then, my answer would be different.”

“really?” you ask.

“really.”

you raise your eyebrows as you sip your drink.

“don’t believe me? you can try me now.” he smirks, flashing the smile you had fallen for back then, and you almost fold right then and there. though despite his confident demeanor, the slight rosy tint on his cheeks gives his nervousness away.

“oh? it’s almost as if you want me to ask you out.”

he playfully rolls his eyes. “okay, so maybe i do, but only if you want to..”

you do your best to suppress a smile as your cheeks turn into the same rosy color.

“here goes. ahem.. i uh-” your mind goes blank.

“wait so.. how do you ask someone out?”

“well, i’ve never asked someone out before because they always ask me” he winks.

you playfully roll your eyes.

“don’t overthink it. it’s just me right?”

you almost forgot. it’s just rin. the same rin who’s always there for you. but this is different.

“right.. i say this in almost all your birthday cards but you’re truly my rock in life, and i reaally want to be yours, and maybe more so.. may i be your girlfriend, suna rintarou?”

“well, if you insist i guess,” he shrugs.

“wooooww.. i see how it is” you say, crossing your arms teasingly.

“r-rin..” he catches you off-guard as he takes your hand in his.

“yeess?” he grins.

you remove your hands, immediately missing the warmth from his hands.

“first date jitters?” he chuckles.

“this is our first date?”

“technically, i guess, but-“

“no way this is our official first date. i’m wearing sweats!” you exclaim, looking down at what you’re wearing.

“i don’t see an issue, you always look pretty in anything you wear.”

“th- thanks,” you blurt out. well that’s new.

but it’s something you could deeefinitely get used to.

#suna rintaro x y/n #suna drabble #suna rintaro fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #suna fluff #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarou #can u tell i love him

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winwintea · 9 months ago

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how dreamies would react to helping you with your homework

REQUEST ▸ how dreamies would react to having to help with your homework?

PAIRING ▸ friend!dreamies x reader

TAGS ▸ none, crack, most of them are confused af and very unhelpful, DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THEIR ADVICE ESPECIALLY CHENLE’S…

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ anon i lost your ask somehow… it appeared on my computer but now i can’t find it but i still remember it! i apologize if the formatting is weird this time lol i’m writing this on my phone 😭

Mark Lee

marks TRIES to help you with your homework. emphasis on ‘TRIES’ cause we all know he is no help at all. you ask him a question about the problem as you’re both attempting it together and he looks at you with the most confused look you have ever seen, “i was just about to ask you the exact same thing…” you two are probably never going to figure it out, so good luck getting your homework done tonight!

Huang Renjun

renjun is an actually good tutor. of course he’s going to walk you through all the steps on how to solve the problems and then discuss with you the subject better at hand, “I think it’s 47… stay focused y/n!” renjun’s the best study buddy, and even if he doesn’t understand the subject well, he’ll try his best to understand and learn on his own, just so he can teach you better.

Lee Jeno

jeno. poor jeno. he’s trying his best too okay? “why are there… letters… isn’t this math?” he hasn’t had much education past a basic high school level, so anything beyond that bewilders him, “we used to solve… much different problems… back when i was a kid” (okay boomer) next time remember that jeno and statistics do not work well together!

Lee Donghyuck

haechan looks at the problems for a few seconds before deciding that is simply something he does not want to attempt at all. “you know… you don’t need school!” he throws the pencil down on the table in a fit, “who needs school anyways?” haechan glances at the work then back at you, “there are so many other options on the table! just drop out!”

Na Jaemin

jaemin is great for emotional support! not the best for helping, but at least he’s there cheering you on from the sides. he’ll take a look at you with a happy smile on his face, “you’re doing great!” but then as soon as he looks back at the problem you’re currently attempting he arches his brows into a look of pure confusion. he’s just as clueless as you are, but at least he can be your cheerleader!

Zhong Chenle

chenle gets quite impatient with how slow you’re doing the problems, “wrong… wrong again…” until eventually he snatches the paper across from your seat and mumbles to himself, “you know what, give it to me…” you two sit in silence as Chenle does the homework for you, but before he finishes he looks at you again dead serious, “why don’t you just cheat?”

Park Jisung

jisung was everywhere but school… so what you even expect this man will do to help you study? “what’s the purpose of this again?” he asks as he lets out a big yawn, and stretches in his chair, rocking back and forth impatiently as you attempt the problem yourself. jisung watches as you struggle for a couple of seconds before grumbling to himself, “just tell your professor it doesn’t make sense… i don’t know… you can gaslight him, you’re good at that.”

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stormblessed95 · 5 months ago

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Watching Are You Sure?! EP 8 Finale

A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally they happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips and to @dstdes for providing so many of my linked video clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show, I can't believe it's over!!

JK turning on Korea's top hits on the radio and both their songs playing one after the other. They KNOW they are powerful. I like them seeing/hearing that evidence though first hand 🥰 Jikook can't be separated, even on the radio!*

JK mentioning the Park Jimin summoning spell 😭😂 lmfao I love it

"this is the boyfriend shot" Jimin says THREE TIMES IN A ROW. we get it, he said this is what it looks like to go out on a date with Jungkook. And Jimin is the one who gets to do that 😅😂🥰🥰🥰 goodness. What was that Jimin? Lol honestly though, it was a cute and cozy picture!

Did the head chef just gift them one of everything on the menu?! Lmao they have so much food!!

JK telling Jimin to basically just strip naked because he went to go undo his pants buckle because he was so full but it was already undone was such a wild statement and comment to make?? The fuck? Lmao and Jimin replying with a meme was hysterical. Joking yet blushing. Top notch 😂😂 loved it. Love them. We aren't even 20 minutes into the episode yet And that was so out of pocket 😂🤣

JK being so tickled over teasing Jimin and making him come back to the car to get him 🤣 they are so funny!

Jimin dancing SNTY 😍

Their giggles over the beds?? Lol it has to be because they saw photos originally and saw the staff had separated out the beds to be separate when they originally weren't and then still gave them matching PJs to wear 🤣🤣 idk why they would do that? Lol they aren't strangers to sharing a bed lol

Jungkook teasing Jimin over the scuzzi 😂😂

Jimin putting snowballs on his head while in the hottub lol the way JK watched him. Love 😍

Not rock paper scissors to have to lay down in the snow 🤣 Jimin forcing JK to follow through on the punishment he thought up 🤣🤣🤣 the way Jimin called him baby as JK gave him the biggest puppy eyes trying to get out of having to do it 🥺🥺🥺

Jimin just laying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs while JK has his snack. Lmfao the call and response singing they had is so cute and what a song choice! 😂 Jimin saying he likes randomly laying/sprawling/rolling on the floor at home too 😂

Them reacting to episode 1 of AYS was NOT on my bingo called but im so happy about it! The editors joking with them and their interaction with the staff made me so happy too! It was also really funny them admitting to having a hard time editing the show 😂

Their giggles heal something in my soul 🥰

And the way they are sitting so close and kept their feet touching almost the entire time?? 🥰🥰🥰

Jimin's head in JKs lap at some point while watching too. I love them

JK acting a fool in the kitchen while cooking to make Jimin laugh 🥰🥰🥰

Jimin calling JK " Honey" 🥺🥺🥺 he wanted to cheers their glasses, but he called him honey. Cute

Not them teasing each other over their snores and sleeping habits 😂

"Jimin doesn't like it when someone touches his head" JK says, while rubbing his head with Jimin unbothered. Lol Jimin will let that man do ANYTHING to him 😂 and idk if JK was trying to tease Jimin or us by flexing his privilege in our face. Probably both 😂

JK saying driving on smaller roads like this is romantic. Jimin saying "this is romance, this is youth, this is nice" 😭😭😭 fuck they are so cute

JK is flying from Japan to Korea and then basically straight back out to America for his schedule. And he choose to not drink, even though he really wanted to, because he wanted to drive Jimin to the airport, just them instead of depending on the staff to take them. Give them that extra alone time together. And he chose to fly to Korea with Jimin instead of giving himself an easier and more relaxing travel schedule with more rest by staying and flying to America from Japan instead. That is... It's really fucking special and sweet and says so much about how they love each other honestly.

Giving up his last beer of their trip, after being told to relax and not worry about it because he wanted to be the one to drive them, to have that time together, just them and a GoPro they had control over, and spending that extra travel time to be together when it made a much longer and harder few days for him? That's that persistent, dedicated, quiet yet impactful kinda love. Really said a lot without saying anything.

The tradition continues of JK filming their food before ending with a close up shot of Jimins face. love that is a constant here 🥰

"I'll make sure you have a safe journey" "it's an honor" just kill me now omfg 😭🥰😭

JK being salty that Jin didn't dream about him with Jimin in the military since they are going together 😂😂😂😂

Jikook talking about how these trips were some of the happiest moments ever. And the way they were feeling a little melancholy over the trip ending and things changing and losing this constant togetherness time they had to be free .. goodness. Enjoying the cool air while trying to feel better. Ugh, I love them. I love them so much and I love the way they love each other so much.

Talking about how they loved it so much in the ending interviews, how they were the best of times. JK softly rubbing Jimins nape and back in comfort too. I'm tearing up, damn

The way JK is looking at Jimin during that last interview outtakes. My goodness 😍 same way Jimin was looking at JK while he was driving 😍

Them ending the show by having us literally send them off to the military is cruel, omfg. I AM CRYING NOW, DAMN. "A letter from beyond" fuck you too editors 😭

Wrap up Thoughts:

I'm so sad this is over. My God. Minute of silence to mourn.

This was such a sweet and wholesome episode. It had teasing, it had bickering, it had pet names. It was domestic as heck. It was the perfect trip for them to end their "freedom" before military service. I would have loved more conversations about that, but I'm fairly content as it is too.

Again, so many cuts (not complaining, very normal) but my favorite was how Jimin went to go wake JK up and then it cut to them leaving. I hope they enjoyed their time cuddling and relaxing sans cameras and interruption 🥰 (my assumptions I guess, but wouldn't be far fetched)

Letting my delulu out when Jimin said he just lays wherever whenever all the time at home and me thinking about the the members teasing JK about all the random ass mattresses over his house 🤣 it's too keep them comfy no matter where they end up wanting to lay 🤣🤣 (just kidding, sort of lol)

The way Jikook play fight is so equal and cute and funny. They just shove the crap out of each other but never with an intention to hurt or be mean. And they both LOVE IT.

They trust each other, give weight to each other's words and have confidence in the others beliefs and thoughts like no one else. It's such a special bond, and I'm so so glad they opted to share this with us. I truly am so grateful. And grateful for y'all letting me share all my musings with you too. 💜

And we have to end this post with the way that Jikook were spotted in Sapporo driving in the car, Jimin being the passenger princess he was, alone with their GoPro's and giving major flirty energy. And the way the show just proved OP right too. Genuinely Jikook are so special and wonderful and amazing and I love them so much. And when they got home from this trip, the group live they did shortly after? They were sooooo touchy and snuggly!

Hope everyone is excited for the photobook and behinds as well. I unfortunately am horribly sad because I'm broke AF and cannot afford to buy it in my budget at the moment, but hopefully ARMYs will upload all the photos and upload the behinds for everyone too. I will share links if I find them.

#jikook #kookmin #jikook are you sure #jikook travel show #jikook in sapporo #jikook in 2023 #jikook in japan

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valentiyne · 1 year ago

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𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗌 & 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗒 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝖺𝗅𝗌 ☆ 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗎𝗆 𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽

Calum Hood x Famous!Reader Summary: Requested! After 4 years of agreed no contact, one phone call and song takes back all that you've worked for. Warnings: Mild Cursing, Slight of Explicit Content. Word Count: 1k (not rlly proofread lol) Copyright © 2023 Valentiyne. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻

"So, Y/n tell us more about Calum Hood"

A name I hadn't heard in exactly 4 years to the very date.

48 months, 1461 days, and 35040 excruciating long fucking hours.

My face immediately lights up at the name nevertheless, brushing my hair behind my ear nervously,

"Hood? I'm not quite sure what this has to do with my upcoming EP coming out at midnight", I breathlessly laugh out, my eyes locking with the interviewer in front of me. My new work titled, "Bittersweet" was launching at midnight, only containing 4 songs to go along with the 4 bittersweet years I've spent away from him. It was hopeless of me to write about him, but he was the only source of inspiration I could find.

"Well you two had a bit of chemistry as far as we know, is that right?"

Sure we did. We spent over 6 years together on and off, but always came back to each other. He was my rock, my everything, but ultimately we knew it wasn't going to work out.

"Sure we did, I mean it was nothing but a mere innocent crush", I cross my legs now, my shaky hands clasped on top of my knees. The crowd was silent as excited fans packed into the small room to hear the soft launch before midnight.

"Well it was surely more than innocent", she motions to the screen next to us. "This picture was taken four years ago in Bali during the second leg of their tour", I mentally roll my eyes but smile anyway. A few people from the crowd squealed as the iconic picture of us in cuddled up on the beach was displayed, the same one he posted himself as an excuse to have me on his page.

"Like I said- It was a small crush" I was trying to convince myself more than everyone else.

I watch as the slideshow continues on, the screen filled with every single moment in time that Calum and I were spotted together across the world. A few innocent ones of us walking next to each other, to one taken on the balcony of a hotel. We were just kids who didn't know what they were doing- lost in the moment together. He will always have a place in my heart. When things ultimately ended, we both agreed to never speak again- it was only weighing each other down.

"Well I thank you for your time, I hope everyone enjoys the album and finds some comfort in the chaos", I stand up abruptly, extending my hand to shake the interviewer's hand. The crowd cheered quietly as I walked off the stage with a slight wave. I needed to get out of here, I felt like a complete idiot working myself up over someone that I no longer talked to.

I slipped past the stage crew as I shuffled out past the backdoors and towards the parking lot, my fingers fumbling with my keys as I tore my driver's door open and plopped down dramatically. The door shut behind me and I sighed to myself loudly,

That was fucking ridiculous, they didn't even ask anything about me. Just about someone I never wanted to mention. Of course, I could talk about him until the end of time, but it wasn't my place to do so anymore. He was playing sold-out shows every other day and had no worry about a girl back home who happened to have matching tattoos with him, right? The tattoo we shared was of a small flower underneath our ribs, the same flower he gave me on our one-year "situationshipversary" as he called it. It was a silly gesture that I treasured, the California wildflower that he pulled over on the side of the Pacific Coast Highway to pick during peak traffic on the way to my house. It now lay inside a small glass bottle hung around my neck, all wilted like our history.

I pull my phone from my purse, scrolling down to the bottom of my contact list, and clicking on the "DO NOT CALL!!!!" number. I hesitantly dial his number and bring it up to my ear,

"Hey! You reached Calum, I'm away from my phone right now but leave a message!", He declined it immediately, either that or his phone was dead. Not quite sure which one makes me feel better. I roll my eyes at the stupid prepubescent voice and turn my phone off.

I tossed my phone down onto my lap and leaned my head against the wheel. I subconsciously wanted to log back into my Instagram and scroll down an update page to find out anything about him. I had no idea what he was up to or who he was with, it's been years since I've last heard his voice.

"You know this isn't good for either of us, Y/n", he rang through my head as I remember standing on his porch in late July.

"Calum, we've been through this so many times- why can't we just try?"

He runs his hand through his freshly cut hair and shakes his head, "It never ends well, I feel like a fucking lost dog who always limps its way back to you.. I just- Fuck- I can't do thi-"

The last thing I remember was the door closing in my face, leaving me all alone with no closure. I could hear him on the other side, a thump on the door indicating he was leaning against it. I tried for the handle, jiggling it a few times before banging on it, begging for him to talk to me. I couldn't stay mad at him forever, as much as I wanted to. I wanted to scream at him, slap him in his beautiful face, and kiss him all at once.

My phone vibrating snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked down,

DO NOT CALL!!!!

My heart skips a beat, staring at my phone on my lap buzzing away. I bit my lip softly, pulling it closer to my face as I accepted the FaceTime call.

The camera was pointing to the ceiling when I answered, his voice booming loudly as he spoke.

"Hello?"

I let let a breath I didn't know I was holding, trying to gather the right words to say. What was I supposed to say after all this time?

"Cal?", my voice is softer than I had hoped for, the word slipping past my lip like it's begging to finally be let out.

"Holy shit", the camera shifts and he props it up against the wall, waving at me with one hand. Calum sits in his studio chair with his old bass in his lap, headphones pushed back against his long curly hair. His eyes are wide as he raises an eyebrow, "Shit, long time no see."

I adjust the camera against my steering wheel and scoot my seat back, allowing for a better view of myself as I smile innocently with an awkward wave. "Hi Cal, how ya been?" I see his eyes travel down to the necklace around my neck, my fingers dancing around the bottle as I speak.

"Shit, Y/n if I'd known it was you calling I would've answered way faster, I just had deleted your number-", he stops himself, looking up with a sympathetic crooked smile before sighing. I raise a hand up to reassure him instead, "Calum", god saying his name tugs at my heartstrings, "It's okay, I get it... we don't have to dance around it.. now what are you up to?"

He was lying, Calum hood was bluffing to my face and I had no idea. After all this time, he still had my contact listed as "My wildflower", but he couldn't dare admit to me that he didn't answer sooner because he was scared.

Scared of what I was going to say

Scared id tell him I found someone new

Scared of seeing or hearing me again

"I'm actually working on a song right now", he laughs and holds the iconic bass up, a small spot right under the strings that once had a star sticker I placed on it- now scraped off.

I make a face, reminding myself that that was the past and I shouldn't dwell on it too much, but seeing him happier without me didn't make me feel like I thought it would. A part of me wished he was as miserable as I was, cooped up in my room writing stupid songs that were confessing my raw feelings.

"What's it about?", I chirp up as he bends down to play a few notes on the keyboard next to him, assuming it's the intro.

"It's about someone that was in my life, uh someone you don't know- she came around afterward", he says slowly, not meeting my eyes through the screen. I just nod in agreement, opening my mouth to speak.

"Would you like to come over for dinner sometime this week?", The words flow out before I had time to think about it. As I wait for his response, I pick at my nails- a habit he absolutely hated. He would smack my hand out of my mouth every chance we were together, telling me "I'd get worms in my belly" I did stop for a while, but my bitten nails were the only reminder he was actually gone.

"Yeah, I would love to!- Look I'll let you go but we'll keep in touch alright?", He speaks quickly, his hand flying down in one swift movement. With that, he ends the FaceTime call and I'm left looking at my reflection. I looked dumbfounded, smiling to myself as wide as I could.

I couldn't let myself fall for this again, for him- we both knew it wasn't going to end well for either of us. But hell it's been 4 years and I've changed as a person, and by the looks of it, he has too.

My phone buzzed once, twice, and then three before I looked back up at it to see three new messages from none other than Hood.

DO NOT CALL!!!!: I kinda lied, you do know the person I wrote it about

DO NOT CALL!!!!: mp3.wildflower.calumdemo.rec

DO NOT CALL!!!!: my wildflower ;)

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cod-sins · 2 years ago

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could you write cod hcs for a female reader who's 5"9 and a bit chubby? thank you <33333

.ೃ࿐ Format: Hcs

.ೃ࿐ Paring: König. Ghost.

.ೃ࿐ Reader: Female. Chubby.

.ೃ࿐ Ratings: SFW. A bit too fluffy on Simon's part.

[A/N: FIRST FEMALE READER REQUEST LET'S GOOO! Also I'm 6'0-6'1 so to me anything under that is short LOL.]

KÖNIG

Oh my god he's so in love with you.

König may be a 6'10 killing machine who wouldn't hesitate to end a person's life but he's absolute putty in your hands. He treats you like goddess always spoiling you with whatever items you want.

He isn't all that into PDA, he'll hold your hand or maybe put an arm around you if he's feeling particularly antsy/jealous but at home he's a completely different person.

He loves to lay in bed with you, on his side while you just talk about your day. His eyelids would be low and there would be a soft smile on his face while you were talking. If you asked him if he was paying attention he would repeat back every single word you said—not missing a beat.

Thinks your chubbyness is cute. Thinks your whole body is cute to be honest.

König can sometimes get really cheesy and mushy over you but he refrains from taking action because he's scared he'll come off as overbearing.

He loves to softly tease you. Thanks to the hot weather he'll walk around the house shirtless flaunting his body and calling you out whenever you stare.

"And that's how Horangi and I were able to defeat an entire squadron without taking a single hit!" He says proudly while looking at you for a reaction. You however were to busy staring at his abs to notice.

"Maus." "Huh?" "My eyes are up here." He says with a dumb smirk on his face. He watches as you as shift positions—to flustered to look at him.

König closes the jar lids way too tight, he doesn't do it to be annoying he's just adamant on keeping his food fresh and preserved. It wouldn't be a problem until he's deployed and you can't open a jar of jelly to make a sandwich.

He also does this with things in the pantry/cabinet. König is still not use to living with a person who's shorter than him so you'll have to remind him to not put things on the tallest shelf.

He loves to pick you up and twirl you around.

GHOST

Ghost loves to loom over you. Even if you're doing mundane tasks such as washing the dishes or folding laundry, he'll lean on the wall or just stand right behind you watching. He notices every little detail in what you do.

He thinks the height difference between you two is cute. He loves when you wear his clothes because they're always too big and they manage to swallow you whole. He never comments on it he'll just stare at you admiring you.

His favorite dates with you are quiet ones. Like picnic dates on a sunny afternoon away from other people or driving to a diner that he really likes [they have those in the UK right?].

If you guys are watching TV together he'll nitpick everything the characters do. "He didn't even turn the safety off." "His gun still had bullets left why did he toss it away?" "If they were on the field they would be dead." Remind him that it's fake and he'll temporarily shut up.

One of his favorite memories of you was on a short weekend. It was right before he was deployed and he spent it with you, laying in bed, drinking and eating a bunch of takeout that you two ordered. You spent that night just holding him and playing with his hair, softly rocking back and forth while he had his head on your chest listening to your heartbeat.

Ghost fondly remembers every word you said to him even if you don't he still thinks about it when he's on the field or when it's early in the morning and you're still asleep.

Ghost loves the way his body engulfs you whenever you hug him. Sometimes he'll squeeze you just a little bit too tight to make sure you're real and not some beautiful illusion his mind made up.

Requests are closed, but you may still send them in.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!

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just-a-carrot · 4 months ago

Text

Random updates on the manga...

After doing some research, I've decided I'll publish the first chapter on Webtoon when it's done. Tho it's not the best for manga-style, it seems to be the most popular, so I thought it would be easiest for people to read.

As a result, I've slighted tweaked the format to be juuuust a bit taller and with larger text so it reads well on mobile/in the app (I did a lot of tweaking and testing for my first pages dhfjdjdj)

Also as a result, I'm gonna have to tone down Genzou's mouth 🤣 Because with high profanity level it said it would automatically label it as mature and I don't want that since it would be only the language doing so (and apparently on Webtoon mature-rated comics get almost no visibility)

I have 17 pages done so far! And haven't even made it to the 4 pages I've already done so it's technically 21 lol (tho I'll need to tweak those a bit to match my new format)

I'll probably divide the first chapter into 3 episodes and publish them all at once since it seems to be recommended that you launch a comic with 3 episodes (which is probably ok anyway as it will likely be a bit long otherwise as one single episode)

I've been listening to nonstop rock Western music playlists on YouTube LOL

I'm going to get so good at drawing horses and horse-related paraphernalia after this (and dogs apparently)

I'm pleasantly surprised by how my BGs have been turning out; they feel soft yet immersive in a way that fits the vibe, and they also don't take me forever and a day to do

Iggy looks so cute in some panels I want to cry

Genzou looks so cute in some panels I almost ascend to another plane

No matter what becomes of this, this has been great for my art. I'm drawing so many new poses and angles and compositions and it's been both challenging and fun. It's a lot of stuff I think will help my future VN work, as well

I mentioned in an ask reply the other day already but I have roles in mind for both Orlam and Gidget already in future chapters if I do continue it, and there will also be a variety of smaller cameos for some other chars, too

Overall, I'm still having fun and can't stop drawing LOL I'm excited every day to work on it and finish more pages 💕

#carrot thoughts

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prettyoddfever · 2 months ago

Text

the Seattle Ryden story is fake.

Tumblr's new post format is way better than 2020, so I’m expanding my old post here.

THE GENERAL STORY:

I just googled this...

REAL-LIFE AUGUST 2007 EVENTS:

The band did a string of shows & appearances in the UK (Decaydance Fest, Kerrang Awards, Reading, Leeds) in late August 2007. The last show was on August 26th and then the band flew back home (they lived in Vegas & Chicago btw... not California). They had a few days off before they needed to be in Seattle for their Bumbershoot performance on September 1st. Brendon and Ryan had a work obligation in NYC on August 31st, so it looked like Ryan went to stay with Keltie in NYC. There were pictures of them hanging out in places like Central Park and they did this photoshoot.

Yes, Keltie threw Ryan a bday party at Angels & Kings on August 30th. Ryan hung out at Angels & Kings with Keltie and her friends earlier that summer too. Plus, Travie McCoy had a birthday party at Angels & Kings that summer with a cake that looked very close to the one Ryan got. Their bday parties were good publicity for the new bar. Angels & Kings had opened around early May that year and other Decaydance bands invested in it, but the P!ATD guys had been too young.

Ryan's friends who lived in NYC were at the party, like Gabe Saporta, Eric Ronick, and Travie McCoy (who also performed at Bumbershoot). However, Ryan's crew of Vegas friends he'd been hanging out with that year weren't there. It just seemed like a NYC thing. I didn't think it was weird that the band members who weren't even in NYC were absent, even though I didn't know specifically why. A lot of fans assumed that the guys wanted a few days off nbd. Also, even if Brendon was in NYC in time for that party, he was still underage. A couple weeks later he and Spencer were turned away from Crush Management's party before the VMAs lol.

Anyways, on August 31st Brendon and Ryan needed to do the interview for Fuse that was chopped up to use in all of those Videos That Rocked The World daily episodes that came out after Thanksgiving:

youtube

These episodes covered some big names, so it was very cool that P!ATD's opinion was included... even if the ads seemed to feature Brendon & Ryan more than the actual episodes did lol. Here's an example of the first episode (others were for Madonna, Aerosmith, OK Go, Guns N' Roses, Van Halen, Britney Spears, Public Enemy, Alanis Morissette, and Beastie Boys):

youtube

here's more from that episode.

The band's Fuse interviews were usually done in New York City while they were on tour. A few years ago I emailed someone who worked on the VTRTW set because I wanted to double-check the date and location of Brendon & Ryan's interview before sharing that it wasn't Seattle. She gave me some other contact info and three very kind people looked into their old emails & call sheets. The director and the executive producer for the VTRTW series separately confirmed the NYC location and 8/31 date. Maybe they were both mistaken about the location, and Fuse randomly decided to film in Seattle despite the fact that their studio was in NYC... but the romantic motivation for Ryan to join Brendon is still erased.

Also, whoever made up the Seattle story seems to think that birthdays were important and meaningful to Ryan to the extent that he would fly across the country in the middle of the night to spend it with someone ~special. Ryan talked to Upbeet Music in fall 2005 about touring on his birthday and said "Birthdays were never a really huge deal in my family so it’s not like I’m bummed out that I didn’t get a party or anything so it’s cool." Obviously people can change over the years, so I'm just adding that as a side detail.

THE PICTURE:

Does anyone know who the fan is who shared the picture above? and what their original story was? It’s repeated a lot but I’ve never seen a source, a direct quote, or anyone who even saw the original person’s post (which is super weird). The whole Seattle story sounds about as reliable as the current fandom’s “funeral picture” tbh. There was also a problem in the pre-split years where some fans would steal other people’s pictures, claim it was theirs, invent a story about meeting the band, and then crop out or draw over the original person (and spin a story about how they looked ugly that day, didn’t want their face online, didn't want the band to know who was sharing the story, etc). Maybe that happened here too.

side tangent: idk why people are saying that since Ryan's outfit in the picture above is the same as his birthday then he must have arrived in Seattle without luggage. Why even add that part lol. He clearly wore a different outfit of his for Bumbershoot.

Anyways, I do agree that the picture at the top of this post looks like it was taken around the same time as the interview based on small details with their hair & outfits (the fact that they're wearing the same general clothes isn't reliable because those guys could repeat outfits for daysss). Fuse was located on 7th Avenue across from Madison Square Garden. The background of the picture looks like it could potentially be in that whole area. Maybe a fan got a picture with them while they were heading to their interview, who knows.

OTHER SEATTLE THINGS THAT *SHOULD* BE UNRELATED:

Yes, Brendon changed a line in That Green Gentleman to joke about Ryan while they were doing an acoustic show at the Space Needle in Seattle in October 2008. That was a normal thing and shouldn't stand out in any way.

Please don’t ruin Northern Downpour by dragging it into the Seattle theory and/or making it a Ryden thing. People are wildly misinterpreting some interview quotes & events (possibly because they don’t understand Ryan’s role in the band), so there’s more in this post about Northern Downpour.

Brendon, Ryan, Spencer, and Brent all talked about how much they loved the Pacific Northwest starting from the first time they played a show there in fall 2005. The boys were from a desert area and talked a lot in the early months about how they hadn’t had the chance to travel much (except Brent had been to Canada). Each time they visited Seattle or Portland at least one of them would mention how they loved the weather, trees, etc. Their strong appreciation of Seattle started in 2005 and has nothing to do with a fake affair in 2007.

There are a lot of assumptions surrounding the Seattle story in general, most of which seem to come from a lack of knowledge about the band. Even this post still assumes & projects a lot:

Brendon was not Ryan's best friend in 2007. That was pretty easy to spot (there's more in this post).

idk what else people are saying about Seattle, but I'll probably add more here later

#ryden

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rivetgoth · 1 month ago

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hi do you have any music recs for somebody who's trapped in the industrial rock/metal (kmfdm, nin, etc) cycle and wants to explore more lesser known and weird industrial artists?

Yesssss of course! I’ll try to list some artists I think would directly interest you based on your liking industrial rock. Hopefully this isn’t too much, for each band I’ll link a song from an album I’d recommend starting with :) I’m also not sure how much you know BEYOND the two bands you listed so if these are really obvious and you already know them I’m sorry 😭🙏

My immediate biased answer right now is Foetus because I’ve been obsessed recently. If you like the rock elements of industrial rock I genuinely think Foetus is perfectly accessible but he’s also so deranged and theatrical. Raymond Watts of KMFDM would collaborate with him and honestly once you get into Foetus you realize how much of Raymond’s early stuff is just directly taking inspo lol. Check out the album Nail.

I don’t know from the list you gave if you listen to Skinny Puppy or not, if you don’t you definitely should though. Incredibly important to the formation of what would become industrial rock and also my favorite band of all time. Trent even directly sampled the Skuppy song “Dig It” for “Down In It.” I’d specifically recommend checking out The Process (the most industrial rock of their discography) or Rabies (the most metal—they collaborated with Al Jourgensen of Ministry for it!) to start in your case.

The cool thing with industrial is so many of the older bands are all connected once you go back a bit, so if you find yourself liking a certain artist you can start exploring who they’ve worked with and a whole world of music opens up to you. Two early Skinny Puppy collaborators are The Legendary Pink Dots and Severed Heads. Both of those are also all time favorites and they can really shift your sense of what industrial music is and means because they sound very different from what industrial would become over time. Both formed between 1979-1980. Two favorites from them (off albums that I think are the best starting points!):

Going back a bit further, for the early pioneers I think you’d enjoy Einstürzende Neubauten and Cabaret Voltaire. Both of them were involved from the very beginning of the development of the genre and everything that came after them is in part thanks to them (as well as the other pioneers, but I’m trying not to overwhelm and I think these guys are really good starting points). You can really hear their influence if you trace the progression of the genre from them to the bands they worked with. Start with Neubauten’s Haus Der Lüge since that’s their most well known, & I’d say Cabaret Voltaire’s Code is a good balance between their very experimental early stuff and their most synthpop later stuff.

Of course I do think it’s worth checking out Throbbing Gristle if you haven’t. They’re the OG OGs that actually named the genre and everything. They are significantly less accessible and might not as quickly be your thing but imo they are worth knowing about so you can really hear where it all comes from. Maybe this is just my own preference but I feel like going back through the history and watching the progression and evolution of all of this was a huge part of what made me fully fall in love with the industrial genre and all of its weirdness. It made it feel like such a full and lively subculture of so many different people taking direct inspiration from each other over the years. Coil and SPK as well.

(SPK has very little on Spotify so a Bandcamp link it’ll be, and I’d recommend starting with Coil’s Horse Rotorvator which is not on Spotify but IS on YouTube, though one of the songs IS on Spotify…. lol)

What I basically gave you is a very very quick descent from 90s industrial rock to the beginning of the genre, obviously give or take a couple hundred bands lmao. I guess to me the best thing to do when you’re looking into these genres is to get deeper into the history of ‘em. There’s nothing wrong with preferring bands like NIN or KMFDM to bands like SPK and Throbbing Gristle, but I think it can really deepen your relationship to the former to at least know about the latter and what they sounded like and were doing.

I’m out of song links I’m allowed for a single post but I’ll also share a handful of other bands you can check out:

Nocturnal Emissions (start with Viral Shedding)

Fad Gadget (start with Fireside Favorites; Tovey was influential for both industrial and goth!)

Babyland (I’ve just recently been listening to them more, check out You Suck Crap)

Lead Into Gold (the solo project of Ministry’s Paul Barker, extremely good both old and new material, check out The Sun Behind the Sun)

If you haven’t yet just in general check out Wax Trax! Records because NIN and KMFDM were directly working with all those guys and that label put out some of the greatest music of all time. Ministry I assume you know if you like industrial metal but you gotta listen through Ministry’s discography starting from Twitch to Filth Pig, Revolting Cocks’ first two albums, My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult, Front 242, Nitzer Ebb, Die Warzau, they’re not actually Wax Trax! but Electric Hellfire Club… etc. That’s obviously a lot of names and might be a bit more overwhelming but just starting with one and going thru who each band member has worked with will open up a MASSIVE world of music.

Umm or disregard all that and if you truly want weird music just listen to Caroliner.

^picture of their stageshow

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therentyoupay · 6 months ago

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im completely feral over all your jelsa stories!!!!!! do you ever write established relationship jelsa or have any headcanons about what they would be like together in a serious relationship or marriage????

THANK YOU SO MUCH. 😭😭😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕🙏 thank you thank you nonny for this super sweet ask and this really lovely question and all of your love and support!! 💕💕💕💕💕

i have... never actually written established!relationship (in any fandom), now that i'm thinking about it? that said, i guess i can come up with a quick list of some headcanons, maybe? 😂 i will have to think about this more, but for now, here's a quick drop:

elsa is an early riser; elsa helps jack create more sustainable sleeping patterns and habit formations 😂

when jack gets Impetuous Urges to Do Something Rash and Impractically Spontaneous, elsa will ground jack, reminding him to think before acting. (he occasionally Still Does It, anyway.) elsa knows what she signed up for, lol.

jack loves to play Harmless(!) Pranks, just to watch elsa’s reaction. (he is no longer allowed to sneak up on her after The Incident).

they also quibble over the definition of "harmless" and the specific logistical implications of that; for a while, jack was banned from further pranking, but then he got more creative at showing elsa that pranks could be wholesome and genuine, in which they could both be in on the joke. however, due to elsa's deeply-rooted Need to Excel and her (Not-so)Secret Competitive AF Streak, her retaliation in escalating the Cleverness Prank War quickly resulted in jack's prompt implementation of the Prank-Free Zones and Time Periods. (no, he was not scared.)

elsa, usually reserved, has learned to let her playful side show more often with jack. she might still pretend to be exasperated by his antics, but sometimes it's part of the game (or habit).

elsa sill struggles with opening up emotionally sometimes, but she progressively feels safe enough to share her innermost thoughts and fears. with time, she confides in him more about her worries. she still never likes the idea that jack sees her Imperfect Parts, but at least she can tolerate the discomfort (and, yes, take comfort in it) now

(jack loves elsa's Imperfect Parts, and jack admits that he is Weirdly Proud and Competitively Honored to be one of the only people, even including anna, who gets to see them. he also is strangely Comforted and Validated that elsa is, in fact, not perfect because for a while there, he was pretty freaked out and intimidated by how fancy she is.)

until he realized that no one ever let her actually be a Weirdo before, and once he realizes the Truth of Elsa Also Being a Secret (albeit perhaps more Subdued) Weirdo, the Universe Aligns.

jack listens to elsa's Big Conversations intently, activating varying levels of Serious Mode.

jack is getting better at recognizing the moments when elsa needs him to play and needs him to listen or Give His Opinion or any combination of those things.

jack learns that it's not always about Saying the Right Thing (which he is not very good at, anyway, or so our Serially Unreliable Narrator thinks), but rather being able to read elsa's mood and anticipate what she might need (even if she is not aware of it herself yet).

elsa is meticulous about planning and preparing for special occasions.

elsa likes traditions! jack likes tradition only because elsa likes them, lol, and hey, okay, these are more fun than he thought?? (who knew fun could be organized??!!?)

so he really wants to show (off to) her by pulling off Incredible Planning Feats in her honor, too (they do not go as smoothly, lol).

jack will often go out of his way to spontaneously create something meaningful, a moment or a gift or a gesture, that reminds elsa that he cares. he is big on words of affirmation, gift giving (but like, souvenirs that he collects on adventures like, "i saw this rock and it reminded me of your cousin olaf, we should put it on the window after we paint his face on it"), and acts of service, as well as physical touch and quality time. HE WANTS LOVE. he wants TO BE LOVED. he wants to prove that he is worthy of being loved.

(and elsa has to get him to Chill Out sometimes, remind him that he doesn't have to Do Things For Her/Anyone in order to be deserving of care; he is more than what he provides for other people.)

(jack gets its, and appreciates it, but also, the Urge to Provide and Protect is still strong, even after so much time, and sometimes Old Habits Die Hard.)

i get the sense that he'd be the type to he wake elsa up in the middle of the night to take her on a surprise adventure, or convince her to Do a Fun Thing without any preparation (/warning).

and she would Be Alarmed at the Lack of Plan (especially if/when jack Did Not Think This Through), but he also took precautions to ward off Concerns by pacifying her with tea, or reassurances that yes, he did call ahead to make sure the restaurant was open before they left the house, of course he did, he would never just leave home without double-checking beforehand (and frantically googles it two minutes later when he thinks she's not looking; she is, naturally, and even occasionally pretends not to be).

elsa approaches conflict with a desire to resolve things Calmly and Logically. she tries to understand jack’s perspective, even when she disagrees, and she’s careful with her words, not wanting to escalate the situation.

however, she can sometimes withdraw emotionally, fearing that she might say something hurtful if she’s too overwhelmed.

jack was initially (and, honestly, still is, even though he understands more now) hurt by her tendency to shut down when she Feels Too Much, and understands (although it's still hard) that elsa needs time to process her feelings and organize her thoughts.

jack also helps elsa actually Feel her Feelings, instead of just trying to intellectualize and analyze them. (she hates it, BUT sees the value. jack lives for these moments in which he realizes that he's actually contributing positively to her life and helping her in some way, rather than just being a burden or a nuisance, as was/is his fear.)

his initial reaction might be to push for a resolution quickly, but he’s also deeply afraid of Creating Distance between them, so after the first few fights, he really makes an effort to find the right balance between Pushing Hard Enough and Not Pushing Too hard, so that he doesn't drive a wedge between them as they work things out.

jack FEELS intensely, and can be so stubborn. he does not always have the most precise vocabulary or tools to describe his thoughts and feelings, or identify the root causes of what is actually going on inside him; sometimes elsa asks a lot of insightful and guiding questions that help jack come to the conclusions himself, and other times, she Puts Into Words the very thing that he had been thinking or feeling, but could not name, and it is very reassuring to have someone who understands him well enough to be able to do that.

after conflicts or arguments, they take time to Decompress and reassure one another (especially if at least one of them, if not both, was Overthinking again).

when they argue (and healthy couples do, remember!), it’s a dance of patience and understanding: elsa might need a moment to Collect Herself, and jack learns to give her that Space while also making it clear that he’s ready to talk whenever she is, and that he is going to try very hard to be Rational and Patient About It.

in the end, they both prioritize their relationship over any disagreement, always finding a way back to each other.

#now that i am really thinking about it #i have not written ANY established!relationship stories (for jelsa or any other ship) actually! why??#that is probably a good question to ask myself. 😂#my first instinct is that it's because i am personally a #Steady Serial Serious Relationship Monogamist #and i already experience so many lovely and wonderful aspects of having a Life Teammate and a trusted partner in Marriage #so i don't typically feel the urge to explore the possibilities of an already-established relationship in fiction...#i feel like my storytelling/fanfiction is based in exploring similar tropes and the base core journeys in different contexts and universes #(e.g. modern mermaid colonial!america regency!england frozen-verse frozen-and-rotg-verses)#because i like playing with how such core ideas can happen so differently (and so similarly) in various worlds with so many different rules #i got into a flow state while writing this and had to stop because i reached the tumblr text post character limit 😅#also you may or may not be surprised to see that many of these characteristics i've listed here in this est.!relationship mindset are #things that they already do in many of my getting-together stories #that's the nature of human relationships for you i guess haha 💕 it's a process! (not a destination)#HERE ARE MY TAKES ANYWAY please enjoy comment reply etc.!#thank you again!!! 💕#therentyoupay anon #therentyoupay ask #jelsa #therentyoupay thoughts on characterization

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 11 months ago

Text

TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition

Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.

on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.

I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!

I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!

Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!

SOUND:

I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)

I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.

Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird” things.

FORMAT (?)

OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)

TRACK LIST SPECULATION

Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause.

The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.

(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)

Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)

(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)

So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)

But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work. (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)

The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.

Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?

Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!

Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.

(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)

(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?

(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬

loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.

The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)

Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,” (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.

BONUS TRACKS

The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going.

The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all.

The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.

The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.

Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!

#the tortured poets department #Happy Good Friday this post has risen from the dead #(oops was that uncouth of me)#three weeks!!!!!!#i need this album now #my brain is on fire #Writing letters addressed to the fire

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