#what else didn't they fix?
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clean your sword
i. Peter had thought many times about dying for his brother, killing for his sisters, as all oldest children do.
ii. He'd imagined it a hundred times: how if his mother and father were ever killed, he'd get some low-skill job and make sure Lucy's clothes still fit her as she grew. How he'd make fists and fight dirty if Susan was ever threatened. What he'd do if Edmund ever had to flee the country on a dark, windswept night.
iii. Yet when he heard Susan's horn that day, he still froze. Only for an instant, he thought, "this can't be my job, right?"
iv. The blood on his sword shone red when it was all over. When he wiped it on the grass, the stain it left was almost black.
v. They'd put Susan in his arms when he was two years old. Peter didn't remember it, but he knew he'd been waiting for her till then. He wasn't a real person until he was a brother.
vi. And when they walked back to the pavilion, Rhindon bumping Peter's hip, all he could say to his sisters was, "I'm sorry I didn't come faster."
vii. The High King was almost obsessive in the way he cared for Rhindon. When he grew older and required weapons larger than those made for a child, he obsessed over them too.
viii. He told the others, in no uncertain terms, that if it ever came to it in battle, they were to leave him and live. As their brother and high king, he commanded it.
ix. The first time Edmund risked himself for Peter's sake, Peter didn't speak to him for a week.
x. He was oiling his sword when Edmund found him. "See, the thing is, Peter, being brothers goes both ways. If you can love me enough to die for me, than I get to love you just the same."
xi. Peter agreed with him then, to avoid the argument. He was sick of not talking to his brother. Yet privately, he knew that Edmund was wrong. That sacrifice was Peter's special prerogative, as the first-born.
xii. Back in England, his mother noticed that Peter had become more fastidious. She didn't notice that his protective streak has grown - and maybe it hadn't, really.
xiii. It was uncanny, how Peter would always show up just when his siblings needed him. He'd round a corner, and there was Lucy stamping her feet and scowling at a bully. There was Susan, crying, and now his knuckles were bloody.
xiv. He cleaned the blood off in the sink so carefully. The water ran red for a second, and it almost seemed black.
xv. When Caspian asked for the High King's advice, looking so very young, Peter jerked his chin towards the sword a Caspian's hip. "Be ready to use that," he said. "Keep it clean, and close."
xvi. Susan forgot Narnia and she forgot Aslan. Yet selfishly, Peter still hoped that she would never forget how quickly he came when she called.
#Peter's whole personality is Big Brother and everything else stems from that. this is why i love him#like. the age gap between my sister and me is not large but i can't think of a time in my childhood when I didn't have contingency plans#for what I'd do if i needed to protect her. or like if we got kidnapped and i needed to fix it. or if mom and dad died what i would do#even when we weren't getting along. i am convinced it's a primal Oldest Sibling instinct#whether these plans were even marginally executable is. another thing#high king over all the rest#narnia#pontifications and creations#leah stories#no one will ever walk the earth so close to you
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Not to go "well you just LOST A CUSTOMER" but I haven't bought a videogame on release date since Fallout 4, and i was going to do it with Veilguard until I checked out what the qunari look like... And this oversight is just setting off too many alarms in my head.
After much going back and forth on whether to get Veilguard day one, i've decided not to. The reason? They fucked up the qunari foreheads SO BAD I can't in good conscience pay full price for a game where my favorite playable race is clearly still an afterthought.
#i mean#if they had no one around to go 'hey this looks weird let's fix it a little'#what else didn't they fix?
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#sulemio#the lesbians didn't beat destiel for nothing#joe biden#american politics 2024#what else do I tag#president#biden#I just noticed the gap between pictures wtf#fixed it
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Look. I skim through episodes for Ran references. I skip through minutes worth of stuff if I'm confident Ran's not about to change outfit. But I am also only focused on Ran all the time. Which means I'm sorry animator who thought nobody would notice this single second frame of Ran missing her foot. I found it while trying to work out what shoes she was wearing. I was not expecting no feet at all but fair game you caught me out.
#detective conan#dcmk#it really is only for a split second#I saw it and then it took my like 15 tries to pause it at the right moment#I sorry animator I mean no disrespect by noticing this I'm sure nobody else did#I have to wonder how far ahead they plan the outfits she wears because this is a recolouur of an end scene outfit from EP142#and they didn't show the whole outfit that time so I had to guess#now i need to go back and fix that I guess#because they decide to show me what the full look looks like#66 EPISODES LATER#this project is fascinating but also I'm a little tired and they don't make it easy...
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Mouthwashing is so prescient on discourse about inaction. So many people asking why Curly brushed aside Anya's fears and remained lenient with Jimmy. So many people asking why Swansea didn't immediately take action after the private convo in the cockpit.
And now, in real time, you can see people trying to defend both men. And I don't think this is done out of malice, or any intention to downplay the horror of Anya's situation. I think it's pretty human nature to want a better world, to want to soften the blow. There's so much we don't know (the timeline, the details of the convo, the actual nature of Curly's friendship with Jimmy, etc etc ad nauseam), so there is space to hope for a gentler moment, even if we all know the aftermath is unbearable and impact is imminent. We still want to believe things could be different, that things could be better. It doesn't change anything, but still. But still.
Maybe Anya had still held on to a little bit of hope, futile though it would have been. Maybe she didn't feel completely isolated the entire time. She was failed by both Curly and Swansea in every way that matters, but maybe she could have sat by them and not feel like her world had fully imploded. Maybe there were moments where the world allowed her to breathe.
Maybe Curly didn't know. Maybe he did try to keep Jimmy away from Anya. Maybe he was doing what he could, despite his desire to see the best in people (Jimmy). Maybe there wasn't enough time for him to even do anything. Maybe Swansea tried to step up afterwards. We don't know. We only see through the eyes of one man who only wanted to see the good in the world, and then through the eyes of one man who only saw himself.
And the game's prescience even about the end––wishing doesn't change anything. Anya dies putting away her conviction that your worst moments don't define you, that they don't make of you a monster. Daisuke dies having helped no one with his hope and sacrifice. Swansea dies filled with regret, having done nothing, protected no one. Curly watches till the end as his freeze reaction ensures he stays frozen, unable to act, to help.
Even Jimmy, wishing he was better, that he was a hero––and in the end, even Polle turns away from him.
#mouthwashing#full disclosure i also want to defend curly. i love curly. i get it.#but even if he DID try or if there WAS nothing he could do. what does that change?#i think a lot about the people who sided with someone who hurt me. not because they didn't care about me.#but because they didn't want to believe that that person was capable of being cruel. they didn't want me to have been hurt.#like i get it. i've been there on both sides. i get it. it's human nature#this discourse is important and fascinating but seeing it play out in fandom (which typically lacks nuance) makes me feel worse#like it's kinda making me spiral lol#for the record i don't think curly was prioritizing jimmy in the convo where he learns anya is pregnant#i think he was shocked and panicking and he had no idea what to do except that he couldn't allow violence of any kind to happen#and what else is a gun but a tool of violence?#his ''i can fix this'' is a plea for time to think. which he legit was not given (unlike jimmy)#i genuinely disagree that by that point he would have sided with jimmy. even unconsciously#i think he was just completely taken aback and fell back onto his stock phrase (i can fix this). it's just such a curly thing to think#that things CAN get better. but also that he's scared that things CAN get worse. and he's scared his actions WILL make things worse#and he was right. things could be better. but he made things worse. inaction is also an action.#meta thoughts#fragmentaries
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RealAgeAU drabble - Moving
Hello I am back and I got another idea for this little silly au that I have @spotaus to thank for for the original idea :3 Though I think this may be officially becoming one of my AUs hahahaha
First part Prev Part Next part
Also yes. I know it would work better to number these uploads but also i am not writing these in any set order so it will become miserable for all of us if i number them because either they will be out of order or I will have to rework all the names and I am already editing links I don't need that extra energy in my life.
ANYWAY! :D
Next part! The one I lovingly clal in my head - The one where the gang finds a more permanent temporary home. (also yes. Before this they all speed-run the whole Parental bonding and emotional bonding to the idea of having a babybones. Which honestly can and probably will make four different drabbles)
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Horror stares at the door and wonders once again how he got to this point.
Well, no. That is a lie. He knows exactly how he got to his point.
He glances over his shoulder where the other four at hiding off to the side. Out of view from the doorway but still visable for Horror if he looks just right. Seems like Dust won the discussion, again, and is holding Nightmare, again.
Horror wants to say it is surprising how quickly they all just... accepted the situation they got into but he really isn't. Monsters are weird like that. Forced adoption is not that wild all things considered when you are talking about beings made of magic and emotions.
Horror stares at the door and raises his hand before knocking twice.
He really hadn't wanted to do this but they have no other choice. As he waits he can't help but think back to what made them decide this.
Cross walks from side to side "That was way to close! That was the third time we came across the Stars with Nightmare out. Third!"
Killer nods from where he is sitting wiht the sleeping Nightmare in his lap "Yeah no kidding. It is annoying as shit that they are hunting us."
Dust shrugs "Not surprising. Nightmare 'disappeared' after all. We are their only lead."
Killer grins "We were lucky Cross managed to lie his way out of the last one." and he shoots Cross a wink.
Cross sputters "I panicked!"
Killer grins and winks "Sure sure daddy crossy."
Horror holds up his hands between his two... co-parents "This is not the time. We need to figure out where we can go." and he thinks things over.
Cross sighs "I don't get how they keep finding us!"
Dust huffs as he packs their bags "We go to too little universes. Makes it easy for Ink and Dream to pick us out because they recognise us personally."
Killer frowns "Meaning. we need a big universe?" he taps his chin "But also mostly positive as we still don't know how obvious Nightmare would be otherwise."
Cross frowns "I think it will be fine. He can't feel the balance anymore right? And no one seems to have a reaction to him like they had before nor how people have a reaction to Dream's aura thing. Maybe with the corruption gone he really is just... ex-guardian now?"
Killer groans "I hope so. I am not a fan of child labor."
That is when it hits him. Horror sits up "I think I know a place."
All of them turn to him and he immediantly regrets saying anything. See? This is why he normally tries to limit what he says.
Either way. Here they are now and Horror prays this works. Please. They need one thing to work in their favor.
The door opens and a gasp "Horror! It has been ages! It is great to see you. How have you been?" Crop smiles at him.
Horror steels his nerves. Come on. Too much hangs on this moment "Hey Crop. Nice to see you. I am... okay. How are you?"
Crop frowns at him instantly "You sure? You don't sound okay. Trouble at home?"
Horror chuckles "Kinda? Not exactly. Euh... Can't go back to that place now?"
Crop frowns "Why? Need a place to stay? I got a spare room."
Okay yes! this is going great! just... gotta make sure he knows.
Horror nods "I do need a room. Not just for me though..." Crop starts to frown and Horror raises his hands "Just temporarily!"
Crop frowns "Did... something go wrong?"
Horror pauses and thinks this through once more. He trusts Crop. Crop has never been anything but kind even when Horror had been an ass. Even when he had to once drag Dust here to get healing before they could make the jump back home.
Horror looks to the side and he sees the others just beyond the treeline, hidden in shadows and waiting. Crop takes a look as well but he can't quite spot them. Crop looks back up at him.
Horror takes a deep breath "You need... to promise me, no not just promise you need to swear. That what you are about to learn will not leave this universe."
Crop frowns as he immediantly looks uncomfortable. It is the reaction a promise gets from most of them. But Crop also shoots him a considering look before he nods. He holds out a hand "I swear and promise I will not share the about to be giving information. UNLESS! It endangers anyone." and he waits.
Horror stares at the hand and thinks. That... That is fine right? That should be fine. Nightmare being a child doesn't endanger anyone. Only them and Nightmare. Horror nods and shakes the hand.
Crop nods and steps aside "Come inside. I bet you will be more comfortable explaining there." he glances at the forest "Do your... friends? Want to come in too?" a guess clearly. probably on multiple fronts.
Horror shakes his skull "Not yet. Need to know your answer and reaction first." He turns to the forest and makes a signal to wait a bit longer. He sees a thumbs up shot his way back. Probably Killer. He never bothered with the signals they had learned together.
Crop nods as he steps aside and Horror walks in, having to duck slightly for the door. The door closes behind him and Horror sees the small living room with fireplace.
Crop leads him to the kitchen "Lets talk there. I will get some tea."
A few minutes later they are both seated and with a cup of tea. Crop looks at him expectingly.
Horror takes a deep breath and takes out their most valuable resourch. The Dreamtale book. And places it on the table. Crop frowns at it before looking at Horror.
Horror nods to it "It will help explain... Very long story short... Nightmare was never an adult. He was a child with a magical shield of some type. That magic has ran out."
Crop stares at him for a moment, then he pulls the book closer and starts reading it. He pauses at the title before opening it.
And now he waits.
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Crop sits wiht his skull in his hands. Horror just sits across from him, with his empty cup of tea. Crop's own cup has grown cold a long time ago. Horror just waits for anymore questions but Crop hasn't said anyhting in the last ten minutes.
Horror looks back at the book and sees that Crop has turned the pages back to the one with the drawing of Nightmare's head being cracked open. The image makes a very clear show on how small Nightmare was compared to the ones attacking him.
Horror still thinks the book doesn't do it justice. Nightmare is much smaller in person than the picture makes him seem. The cracks had been much worse than the picture showed. But it is the closest they got.
Crop finally sighs and speaks. He doesn't look away from the picture "I don't... Know a lot about this whole... multiverse stuff. It isn't my place at all. And that is fine." he pauses for a moment "But this... You are telling me... That the one being that had everyone afraid. That everyone saw as a demon. Is a child... is this child?"
Horror nods before he explains more "Nightmare... gained a lot of magic and powers when he ate those apples. At least that is what the story implied. We haven't managed to get him to tell us yet, mostly because well... he is six again." Crops pulls a face as well, yeah. Horror agrees. A PTSD filled six year old is not easy. But they are managing.
Horror nods "so... What Cross nad Dust think what happened is that... The magic and negativity of the apples bond itself to Nightmare. Which game him the magic and powers he would use. The connection to the balance because the apples were part of the balance. and more importantly, an adult form and mind to fit all the magic. There was just no way all that magic and energy would have fit a babybones. Especially one that hadn't shown much magic beforehand." an assumption on their end as Nightmare was never said to use magic in the book.
"We think... We think that this magic of the apples just. ran out. We had been in battle at the time and Nightmare had been hit but it shouldn't have had that much of an effect. it was the same type of attack he had been hit by before. Dust thinks it was just the last bit of magic that the apples had having run out. Meaning that with the magic and energy so went the form." all a theory of course. But it is the only thing they have.
Crop nods as he clearly thinks "And as he was suddenly an adult. instead of just being afraid and scared. all that pain and emotions took a more violent turn. As he was an adult and was suddenly able to realise that it was unfair which made him angry..." Crop pauses.
Crop glares back at the table and shakes his skull "It is... It is a whole story about victim blaming. A victim is blamed for the abuse they suffered. They are made to believe they deserve it and should be abused. Then as soon as they fight back and defend themselves they are seen as guilty." Crop takes adeep breath as he leans back "What I don't get... Why come here? I can't help with any of this."
Horror shakes his skull "This isn't about any of the big stuff. We don't even care about it. We just... Nightmare is himself again. His real self." he taps the page lightly "Not his aged-up self that the corruption enabled him to be."
Crop stares before his face changes to shock "You are trying to hide him." Then a frown "Why not go to your own home? Has it been compromised?"
Horror snorts "At this point? probably." a confused look and Horror continues "Nightmare used his magic to shield off an universe and make a castle." he shrugs at the glance "Nightmare likes to read. I imagine he liked to read back then too. He may have been an adult technically but he was still a child at soul. Child him wanted a home and wanted that to be a castle and adult him made it happen... probably... that is Killer's theory at the moment."
Crop laughs and nods "Suonds reasonable- oh... and with his magic disappearing."
Horror sighs "When I left his universe the castle had already been decaying..."
Crop frowns "Left? The five of you you mean?"
Horror looks to the side and feels the shame return "We.... we did not react well... when we saw the changes at first... we... we obviously dind't know what was going on and well." he looks down "We abandoned him. I know it was wrong and stupid and we all regret it. We came back but we still did it." shame.
shame shame shame shame shame shame shame-
A hand on his shoulder. Horror glances up and Crop smiles at him "It is okay. You are trying to fix it now right? obviously. Not cool that you abandoned a child... but it can be nerve wrecking. Suddenly going from a position where a person is mostly guiding you, to going to a position where you suddenly are responsible over that same person."
Horror looks to the side "We still left." he can't believe they just left!
Crop nods "But you returned." he grins "And you are trying to fix it."
Horror nods again "We are..." he chuckles "Not that we have been doing a good job at it. Jumping from place to place."
Crop hums "So you are looking to settle, at least for a little bit, while also hidding. Why this universe?"
Horror nods "Yeah..." He looks to the side "We... we don't know how everyone will react. To him being like this. Maybe they will react well. Maybe not. We don't want to risk it. Risk him."
Crop stares at him for a long time and nods "There must be better places?"
Horror shakes his skull "The Stars kept finding us. Dust figured out we needed a big universe that leans towards positive. Yours is one of those. It is one of the wider and bigger ones. And overall leaning towards positive."
Crop frowns "It can't be the best one..."
Horror shrugs but continues "True... there are bigger and more positive ones. But those are busy. Many people. many places. Yours is quieter. more empty. Gives peace and room to work from."
Crop frowns as he taps his chin. He thinks deeply before sighing "You guys got any type of backstory we can use? The multiverse thing isn't a known thing here and the only reason my brother and I know is because you crash landed here."
Horror blinks "You will let us stay?"
Crop nods "Sure." and he grins "Can't kick out four parents with a babybones." and he gets up.
Horrro shakes his skull "That isn't... Well I mean technically." He knows that Killer has come close to killing quite a few people with how protective he has grown over Nightmare and that isn't even including the motherhenning of Cross nor the clinginess that Dust has.
Crop chuckles as he nods towards the stairs "The attic is messy and should be cleaned but can be used by you four, well five. There is an old bed and an old lounge chair up there." more thoughtful "How big is he exactly? we will need some clothes. Probably also get a healer to check him if he is developing okay after all those magical shenanigans."
Horror stares for a moment before smiling "Thank you... I know it is a lot."
Crop shrugs as he opens the linnen closet "Horror. Taking care of milking all the cows on your own is a lot. Having to fix your roof in the middle of a thunderstorm is a lot." He straightens his spine with blankets in his arms "Helping a friend and his friends who have somehow aqcuired a babybones, while strange, does not compare to either of those. Now get your friends out of those woods. They will make the animals nervous." he grins "I am excited to be one of the first ones to meet the real Nightmare."
Horror smiles as he packs his book and goes towards the door. "Thanks again Crop."
Crop waves it off as he moves the piles upstairs.
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Boom! and they are staying in FarmTale for now! Horror and Crop are homies and Dust is more of an acquaintance of Crop but it works. Aged-up Nightmare knew that Horror had an universe he liked to visit but never demanded details. *shrugs* Nightmare didn't see the point. as long as horror wasn't going to betray him what did it matter he didn't tell him?
Surprise Nightmare, this is your temporary home now. For a bit. or maybe longer? They are still figuring it out.
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#RealAgeAU#UTMV#fanfiction#drabble#nightmare sans#Deaged Nightmare Sans#Horror Sans#Dust Sans#Killer Sans#Cross Sans#Farm Sans#Look most of them aren't in it for long but they had to be included okay?! They are mentioned! It counts!#We are back with me writing stuff to indulge myself again#hihi i am having fun#The guys are all very attached to their immortal toddler.#does six year old equal a toddler?#okay one google search later and turns out it doesn't.#doesn't matter immortal toddler sounds funnier#What else.#Yeah right Horror 100% once crash landed in FarmTale and had to wait for his teleport crystal to recharge before he could leave#He made friends.#and once Dust got dragged along for the ride because the idiot got too hurt to teleport them and Horror's crystal didn't have enough charge#so they made a stop there#Dust was very confused to wake up in a random farmhouse#This is also why Dust hasn't just teleported away with Nightmare#because technically this isn't a strange universe and he kinda knows these people#so relatively okay#Killer and Cross however are not yet chill about this#But yeah they are rooming with Crop for a bit :D#Okay rambling over time to fix my links
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cancer.
not a dental issue.
#squamous cell carcinoma of the mouth. they did not pull the tooth or do a biopsy bc there's really nothing else to gain from it now#that explains why the whs seemed so strange. it's not the genetic whs. he was likely having balance issues bc of the tumor#they're keeping him on the anti-inflammatory and as long as he's still eating and in good spirits we're just waiting it out#there's not much else left to do. if he stops eating or his quality of life becomes impacted we'll have to discuss putting him down#but until then it's just making sure he's comfortable for as long as possible#i'm just. i don't even know what to think. glad i didn't lose him today but also fucking devastated it's not something that can be fixed
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One of Mikan's character notes is that she hates clothes that are too big and thus consistently buys things that are actually too small so that she doesn't have to deal with them being potentially too big.
But Mikan. Bestie.
Your beloved is the Ultimate Fashionista.
Junko's just over here making Mikan clothes that fit because Mikan has probably never had anything that fit right once in her entire life. Mikan, this is what clothes that fit feel like. Isn't that nice. Don't you want more of those.
Followed immediately by Mikan bought her own Ultimate Despair nurse's outfit that is absolutely too small.
#musings#junkan#danganronpa#dr2#mikan tsumiki#junko enoshima#'wait wouldn't it be more despair-inducing for mikan to know junko could tailor her clothes and just didn't'#no because mikan will wear what junko likes because junko likes it#'wait wouldn't it be more despair-inducing for junko to constantly make mikan's clothes too big'#by nature of tailoring you actually want to buy clothes that fit your biggest spot and then tailor the too big spots down#mikan's clothes would have already needed to be too big#what junko is doing by tailoring mikan's clothes is two-fold#it causes despair in a mikan who'd gotten used to her clothes problems because it could have been fixed ages ago#if someone just sat her down and talked it through with her#it's another layer of despair over her situation#BUT ALSO#it increases mikan's attachment to and love of junko for doing the thing no one else would#and not only doing that but going above and beyond by actually tailoring mikan's clothes for her#ryoko wants to give her gf clothes that fit; junko wants to point out how horrible the world is for not helping mikan earlier
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The news in the original media: The third season of Good Omens will have just one 90-minute movie episode. The news in the media in my country: the third season of Good Omens has been CANCELED and will now only have a 90-minute special.
#If I had gotten the news from the press in my country I would have had a heart attack#ok maybe they are right#technically it is as if there is no more S3#now it is a movie#or a concluding special#the original press is just trying to soften it#I am happy because we are going to have a conclusion#I am slightly frustrated that we are not going to have a season with several episodes#but I think 90 minutes is better than nothing#it is better than canceling#90 minutes to fix the last 15 minutes of S2 and give a happy ending#it is less screen time than we would like#but it is more than we would have had if they had considered canceling and not doing anything else from GO#I am rooting for them to give us what we need (happy ending and a well-tied conclusion)#since they are not going to give us what we want (a full season)#I think it is understandable who is suffering with this news#as well as those who are accepting it with contentment#every fan has the right to let themselves feel what they are feeling#honestly? I was already expecting something like this#because it didn't make much sense to me how they would remove the screenwriter of the project and still keep the script for it?#I think a part of me already knew that the removal could mean this#now it's time to support the production and actors by sending positive vibes#because I imagine that they are not responsible for this decision#this is a matter for the executive team#and although we are frustrated that we will not have a full season#it was certainly not the ideal solution for the fans and for the production and actors and others involved#but it was the possible solution#I'm still waiting for official notes from Amazon Prime and BBC#good omens#inefabble husbands
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Heating getting fixed. And not by my gross closeted faggot uncle from the trashy side of my family so it's actually gonna work well this time! Cost a fortune but at least I never have to deal with with his faggot ass ever again in my life for any reason
#My mom said he sounded sad on the phone when he heard we hired someone else but this faggot took over 2 weeks#And didn't even fix anything#But i wanted to get rid of him for years because he's an incompetent handyman and I hate him#His wife (aunt who is my actual blood relative) is in an mlm selling fake healing crystals in shape of a pyramid#Deeply unserious family....sometimes I judge my dad for not talking to any of his family but then I remember how awful they are#Like he is a snob and a classist but we really just are better than these people idk what to tell you
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psychologically preparing myself for the next episode by predicting the most upsetting things that could happen
#what if Louis purposely hurts himself?#what if Armand's mental vivisection of Daniel drives him to beg for a death that Armand then denies?#what if that underlying despair has remained with Daniel all these years even though he can't remember the event?#what if Louis is indeed doing this because it is the anniversary of Claudia's making (birth)?#what if Louis cries while Daniel is interviewing him?#what if Louis has forgotten some of the crucial specifics of that night?#what if it is finally confirmed that vampires can feel the effects of drugs and Louis is using this to numb his pain as he did alcohol?#what if we are given a horribly detailed portrait of how power truly operates in Louis and Armand's relationship?#what if Armand and Louis vow after this encounter to 'fix their relationship' by committing to even more unhealthy behaviour?#what if neither of them even want to do that fix but feel unable to do anything else?#what if Daniel didn't even have the opportunity to go down on Louis before his life was ruined?#Louis de Pointe du Lac#Daniel Molloy#Armand#Interview with the Vampire#Jagged Jottings
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the degree to which i want to just tell my "mentor," You win. i'm burned out, i'm tired, i don't feel capable, i don't think my work is actually doing anything useful for the field, i want to be done, the dream of being able to do good work in a hostile place for the others like me, who were meant to never get here--that's no longer a dream because i'm not sure it's actually possible. i quit. it was stupid of me to think for almost a decade that maybe i could carve out a space.
#sobre mi#welcome to academia#yesterday i sent her the chapter i owed her and she IMMEDIATELY emailed back asking ''where is the other one''#i replied with what we'd decided on months ago; haven't heard from her since#the way i've lost any faith that my work could be for someone else what bey and weheliye and spillers were to me#the way i've been told repeatedly that my work just isn't Good Enough#i already was anxious about the job market and now i'm like. what if i just...didn't.#i'm supposed to write an article this week BASED on this chapter#and i just can't pull myself to do it bc i'm anticipating [redacted] telling me the whole argument is shit#it's just so frustrating to feel like any feedback is always critical#like we can't acknowledge what might be good about the thing#and then fixing what's wrong is up to me even tho i'm not treated as capable
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only just processed that luca added the flames to the colander helmet...implicitly b/c of alberto’s “also i added flames” dream vespa design alteration...
#like evidence afterwards that someone was paying real attention even when at the time the other party felt ignored / tuned out....So sweet.#which also my audhd life experiences like. if i learn anyone ever absorbed anything i said it's like oh whoa living large lmao#anyways the point is it only occurred to me the other day lol. like i'd noticed the flames but just didn't piece anything else together#i Love how many like. threads & details you Can piece together like that but are just kind of quietly in the bg otherwise#and fun how everything luca needs for the race is definitely like Somewhere Underwater...colander fell in the sea...bike by the sunken boat#god knows what color situation i fumbled my way into here. so the classic spin of just like Also there's more stripped down versions#who knows if i'll like do more of a full color approach version. they can't stop you. nor stop you from just posting lineart#or stop me from going off the walls w/their tail lengths lol#luca#luberto#lucalberto#😚😚😚#fish freckles you are everything to me...#eta not me forgetting to save the [solid bg color]less pngs as transparent....i was up all night#didn't help w/the color selecting that i'm bad at anytime lol#ok hopefully now they're actually transparent#smhhh now i've realized i forgot a little line to indicate webbing betwixt alberto's fingers there#not as big a deal as how i ALMOST forgot to include any of their arm/leg fins. i'll fix it if i do the [full coloring] deal lol. imagine it#yet another eta: occurs to me i could've made alberto purpler & the bg blue. well;
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Alastor's Barber after seeing the most straighten, damaged hair ever known to man and demonkind
#he lived through the 1900s where everyone straightened their hair but that doesnt stop it from being damaged#his barber gave him that terrible haircut bcu he didn't know what else to do#it was a “GET THE GORLS” situation and even the gorls couldnt fix him#alstor#rip alastor 😔#he's been straightening that hair for over 100 years now#the radio demon#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#talking#rambling
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part of me kinda wants to write a follow-up/remix of Between the Dragon and the Deep Blue Sea from Kaiba's POV 🤔
#not sure what i would even have to add that's new#but those are the vibes my fatigued brain are fixed on#lol if only someone else would so i didn't have to#why must i write before i can read the things i want?
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