#what does any of this accomplish in terms of actually helping people

[windandwater]

I know various people have talked about how insular people around here are but like. we need to actually incorporate this fact into our behavior, and change it. and what I mean by this is. people who aren't online all the time have an extremely different perspective on almost everything we take for granted here.

like. my parents watched Sherlock. they enjoyed it a lot and my mom still makes jokes related to it without any irony or self-loathing. to them it was just. a fun detective show, a modern take on an old story. watch once and move on with life. she and my dad didn't spend several years knee-deep in navel-gazing meta that ruined it for everyone so now they can't talk about it without feeling like everyone's going to judge them for ever liking it in the first place.

partially this is a function of a lot of people here being teens & kids when it came out, but we (my parents & me) were adults. I was having a good time in fandom and look back on the 2010s pretty fondly while a lot of people here are still going through the process of hating their past selves, and you tend to project that onto the things you used to like. I did that too. and then I came around to forgiving & loving my past selves--all of them--which is why I have no problem admitting to all the things I loved in the early 90s & early 2000s but would have had a hard time admitting to 15 years ago.

but it's not just that. the weird refusal to pretend certain things never happened--Harry Potter. a smaller example, Firefly. etcetera. people think if you even mention HP at all you're automatically terf? like...if you go into the outside world, I'm sorry, but JKR's shit beliefs are not common knowledge. and like it or not that book kinda changed the world. and not all for the worse.

(I will NOT go off here on why Joss Whedon seems to get a pass for Buffy & Avengers but someone mentioned a bad thing about Firefly and now we can't talk about it at all--not to mention that it's apparently still okay for him to actively profit off of his work--but. that's off topic.)

(for the record my views are thus: neither of these creators should get any more money or attention as creators, but we shouldn't pretend that the stuff they made had zero effect on us as a culture or as individuals.)

this isn't really about any of these pieces of media specifically, it's more like. this weird insular culture that believes certain things are common knowledge and therefore if you ever talk about them except for in the Approved ways, You're Bad. it's not healthy here and it's not healthy if you ever plan to have a conversation with any living human.

I'm tired of like. if you post a gif of the wrong show you're cringe. if you reference a the wrong book you hate queer people. if you quote the wrong show you're racist. no matter what the actual gif or quote or reference is. it's not like that outside the internet and on the internet it feels like walking on very stupid eggshells.

I know how we got here but it's dumb. the past happened. it wasn't always perfect but we were still part of it. if we erase it we'll never learn from it but we'll also never get comfy with good the ways it shaped us.

we're so busy molding ourselves into a perfect future that we don't realize that the imperfect past got us here in the first place. let it exist. in all the ways it was.

[qqueenofhades]

https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/743255237060689920/the-thing-that-confuses-me-about-the-dont-vote

The “don’t vote” left’s point is basically that, if Biden gets a second term, it’ll basically signal that “They’ll vote for us as long as we’re not Republicans, why don’t we do some REAL fucked up shit, if we can get away with it?” It takes the power out of the people’s hands and places it firmly in the party’s.

I can’t completely disagree with that, my caveat is that there’s no real alternative system or party in place, because top-down change is ineffective; a third party president has to contend with a two party congress.

Except no. This whole "Biden just wants to do as much fucked up shit as possible while not being a Republican, and if you give him a second term he'll do more fucked up shit deliberately to spite you" mindset is only possible as an interpretation if you a) deliberately and comprehensively ignore everything he has done to date, and b) you approach the situation with the maximum bad faith possible. Not to mention, the ultimate outcome of this Big Important Teaching Biden A Lesson is that Trump gets back into power and makes everything orders of magnitude worse, because he does in fact want to deliberately do evil shit to everyone and says so at every opportunity. There is not some magical happy alternative that springs into existence by not voting. If you choose this as a year to Teach Biden A Lesson, you are enabling Trump. Trump will be much, much worse. If you don't care about that, I still do not care what your Great Ideology is. You are not helping anyone and you are directly and irreversibly hurting everyone.

I made a post a few days ago wherein I mentioned that I want to assess Biden fairly, taking into account both strengths and weaknesses, but the rampant bad-faith, lying, misreading, misrepresentation, and open sabotage of him (especially by the online left; the GOP sometimes only wishes they were as good at turning Biden's voter pool against him) makes it really difficult to do that. My frustration with those people makes me just want to go "BIDEN IS GREAT THE END." I know he is a flawed old man (though by literally every account of a career spent in public service, he really does care about making the world a better place and any remotely good faith reading of his accomplishments thus far can see that). It is also very likely that he goes MORE left in a second term because he won't have to face the electorate again, he has always gone more left when pushed before, and he's not actually the scheming genocidal mastermind that leftist social media paints him as. Shocking, I know.

I know there are things in the world we don't like and don't want and want to stop, and therefore we blame our own president for not making it stop. But I have zero, no, none, absolutely none whatsoever sympathy for this pseudo-populist "WE NEED TO TEACH BIDEN A LESSON BY ELECTING TRUMP AGAIN, I AM VERY MORAL MUCH ACTIVIST" mindset. There's this funny thing about America wherein it is still (for now) a democracy. If Biden wins a second term, he can't run again. I would take literally anything these people said more seriously if they focused on developing their dream progressive successor for 2028 (and also figured out how to get that person elected and in a place to make real change) rather than cynically sabotaging Biden in the most consequential election year, again, of our lifetimes. If you don't like him now, find a way to make his successor a better option. Throwing a toddler tantrum and handing the country back to a senile, deranged, fascist, revenge-riddled, theocratic Trump HELPS. NOBODY. I still don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that, but yeah.

[dannyphannypack]

Writing ASL: Techniques to Write Signed Dialogue

Hey, guys! I've been reading a lot of DC Batfamily fanfiction lately, and in doing so I realized how little I see of ASL being represented in written text (love you, Cass!). I wanted to briefly talk about tactics to writing American Sign Language (ASL), and ways that these techniques can help improve your writing in more general contexts!

SOME THINGS BEFORE WE GET STARTED

I will be discussing everything in terms of ASL! If you have a character who uses Chinese Sign Language or even British Sign Language, the same rules will not necessarily apply! Don't be afraid to do some extra research on them.

Do not let this dissuade you from writing a character who signs ASL! This is by no means the end-all be-all to writing ASL dialogue, and I do not intend this post to insinuate that by writing ASL the same way you write English you are deeply offending the Deaf community. If this is something you're interested in though, I highly recommend experimenting with the way you write it! Above all, have fun with your writing.

Related to 2nd rule, but still very important: not everyone will agree that sign language should be treated/written any differently than English. This is a totally valid and understandable stance to take! I do not hope to invalidate this stance by making this post, but rather to introduce an interested audience to how ASL operates in the modern world, and how that can be translated into text.

ADDRESSING SOME MISCONCEPTIONS

ASL is the same as English, just with gestures instead of words.

Actually, no! There is a language that exists that is like that: it's called Signing Exact English, and it's an artificial language; i.e., it did not come about naturally. All languages came from a need to communicate with others, and ASL is no different! It is a language all on it's own, and there is no perfect 1:1 way to translate it to English, just as any spoken language.

2. But everyone who signs ASL knows how to read English, don't they?

No, actually! Because it's a completely different language, people who sign ASL and read English can be considered bilingual: they now know two languages. In fact, fingerspelling a word to a Deaf person in search for the correct sign does not usually work, and is far from the preferred method of conversing with Deaf people.

3. Because ASL does not use as many signs as we do words to articulate a point, it must be an inferior language.

Nope! ASL utilizes 5 complex parameters in order to conversate with others: hand shape, palm orientation, movement, location, and expression. English relies on words to get these points across: while we may say "He's very cute," ASL will sign, "He cute!" with repeated hand movement and an exaggerated facial expression to do what the "very" accomplishes in the English version: add emphasis. Using only ASL gloss can seem infantilizing because words are unable to portray what the other four parameters are doing in a signed sentence.

4. Being deaf is just a medical disability. There's nothing more to it.

Fun fact: there is a difference between being deaf and being Deaf. You just said the same thing twice? But I didn't! To be deaf with a lowercase 'd' is to be unable to hear, while being Deaf with an uppercase is to be heavily involved in the Deaf community and culture. Deaf people are often born deaf, or they become deaf at a young age. Because of this, they attend schools for the Deaf, where they are immersed in an entirely different culture from our own. While your family may mourn the loss of your grandfather's hearing, Deaf parents often celebrate discovering that their newborn is also deaf; they get to share and enjoy their unique culture with their loved one, which is a wonderful thing!

YOU MENTIONED ASL GLOSS. WHAT IS THAT?

ASL gloss is the written approximation of ASL, using English words as "labels" for each sign. ASL IS NOT A WRITTEN LANGUAGE, so this is not the correct way to write it (there is no correct way!): rather, it is a tool used most commonly in classrooms to help students remember signs, and to help with sentence structure.

IF THERE'S NO CORRECT WAY TO WRITE IN ASL, THEN HOW DO I DO IT?

A most astute observation! The short answer: it's up to you. There is no right or wrong way to do it. The longer answer? Researching the culture and history, understanding sign structure, and experimenting with description of the 5 parameters are all fun ways you can take your ASL dialogue to the next level. Here are 3 easy ways you can utilize immediately to make dialogue more similar to the way your character is signing:

Sign languages are never as wordy as spoken ones. Here's an example: "Sign languages are never wordy. Spoken? Wordy." Experiment with how much you can get rid of without the meaning of the sentence being lost (and without making ASL sound goo-goo-ga-ga-y; that is to say, infantilizing).

Emotion is your friend. ASL is a very emotive language! If we were to take that sentence and get rid of the unnecessary, we could get something like "ASL emotive!" The way we add emphasis is by increasing the hand motion, opening the mouth, and maybe even moving the eyebrows. It can be rather intuitive: if you mean to say very easy, you would sign EASY in a flippant manner; if you mean to say so handsome, you would sign handsome and open your mouth or fan your face as if you were hot. Think about a game of Charades: how do you move your mouth and eyebrows to "act out" the word? How are you moving your body as your teammates get closer? There are grammar rules you can certainly look up if you would like to be more technical, too, but this is a good place to start!

Practice describing gestures and action. ASL utilizes three dimensional space in a lot of fun and interesting ways. Even without knowing what a specific sign is, describing body language can be a big help in deciphering the "mood" of a sentence. Are they signing fluidly (calm) or sharply (angry)? Are their signs big (excited) or small (timid)? Are they signing rushedly (impatient) or slowly? Messily (sad) or pointedly (annoyed)? Consider what you can make come across without directly addressing it in dialogue! Something ese about ASL is that English speakers who are learning it tend to think the speakers a little nosy: they are more than able to pick up on the unsaid, and they aren't afraid to ask about it.

Above all, don't be afraid to ask questions, do research or accept advice! New languages can be big and scary things, but don't let that make you shy away. Again, there is nothing wrong with deciding to write ASL the same as you write your English. I've personally found that experimenting with ASL dialogue in stories has aided me in becoming more aware of how to describe everything, from sappy emotional moments to action-packed fighting scenes. Writing ASL has helped me think about new ways to improve my description in more everyday contexts, and I hope it can be a big help to you as well, both in learning about Deaf culture and in pursuing your future writing endeavors. :)

P.S: I am quite literally only dipping my toes into the language and culture. I cannot emphasize how important it is to do your own research if it's someting you're interested in!

P.P.S: I want to apologize for my earlier P.S! What I meant by “I am … dipping my toes into the language and culture” was in direct regards to the post; what I should have said is “this post is only dipping its toes into the language and culture.” While I am not Deaf myself, I am a sophomore in college minoring in ASL and Deaf Culture, and I am steadily losing my hearing. Of course, that does not make me an authority figure on the topic, which is why I strongly encourage you to do your own research, ask your own questions, and consult any Deaf friends, family, or online peers you may have.

[legomonkiefics]

LMK Characters As Queerplatonic Partners (GN Reader, Pt 2)

Genres: Platonic || they/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆˚｡⋆୨🌈୧⋆˚｡⋆✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

Spider Queen:

- She's got experience working with workers for her Queendom, but a friend? It's a surprisingly new concept, and at first she almost treats you like she does her minions

- She grows to become very fond of you and begins holding your opinion as highly as she does her own, making sure the others always do as you say with respect

- She confides in you a lot about the parts of herself her own minions don't even get to see. Her worries, insecurities, and the parts of herself she can't seem to come to terms with

- You help her confidence solidify in a genuine way, not just having an inflated ego (though that never fades) and in return she tries to make you feel treasured

Scorpion Queen:

- She's ecstatic whenever you offer up a QPR. A close confidant is all she's ever wanted, and she accepts eagerly to having your presence around more permanently

- She excitedly let's you see everything she's got in her castle, offering you up anything you could want as a token of gratitude for simply being there

- Jin and Yin come by occasionally and she keeps a very close eye on them to make sure they don't disturb you when you're hanging out together

- She does ask for reassurance quite a few times, but it's because she genuinely appreciates your input and takes your words to heart when you reassure her

Syntax:

- He acts like a bodyguard to you, always wanting to be around you and keep a scathing comment on the back burners for if anyone disrespects you

- He tries to teach you some coding he knows whenever you two hang out together

- You're likely the only one who could ask to install a game on his devices and he might actually say yes

- He's usually endlessly smug for you and brags on your behalf for all your accomplishments, insisting up and down that you deserve the recognition

Huntsman:

- He's not really the best at showing his closeness to you, but he does it in his own small ways like saving the best bits of food for you or scavenging for trinkets so you can keep them

- Immediately gets defensive if he thinks anyone is being rude towards you and tries to square up to anyone being a prick the second he detects it

- You're one of the only people he'll continuously praise, he always makes sure what you do is seen and appreciated just as much as any of his deeds

- Lends you his jacket if you're ever in need of one, and you're the only person he's ever lent it out to

Goliath:

- Absolute sweetheart when it comes to you. He's kind and a gentle giant with you around, but he'll switch up and fuck anyone up who tries to mess with you if you ask

- He likes to carry you around a lot due to his immense size and strength, usually by cradling you in his arm somehow or letting you ride on the mech legs

- Always offers to help with anything you're doing, he likes feeling like he's making things easier on you

- Very encouraging to anything you wanna do. He just really likes spending time with you, even if that's doing something really small or completing missions together

Mayor:

- Very eerily looms around you often, mostly as a way to keep others from getting too close to you

- He gives you access to basically anywhere in Megapolis you could ever want, always uses his title to get you into the secret cool places

- Very very devoted to you. LBD may be who he works for, but he'll do basically anything for you the second you ask him to, and he'll always offer to do more as well

- Basically a massive guard dog, but he also allows himself to be harmlessly zany around you and get a hint of a taste for human enjoyment again

[notnights]

So obviously it's still too early to properly analyze the exact relationship dynamic between Jax and Gangle in canon. I promise this is less of me trying to find legitimate proof of any character speculations, and more just a string of very quick, messy personal thoughts on the topic. Context and motivation for their behaviors are likely to be explained in future episodes, and until then there's still quite a lot of uncharted territory left to explore. (Although I will say that both these characters are surprisingly more active and engaging with each other upon rewatch. aka, their willingness to be around one another seems mutual, the bullying is not.)

The only information that we can currently gather about Gangle are her canon appearances, the preview screenshot Glitch posted on the official account and to a lesser extent, Gangle's concept art sketches: Alot of it being about her fixation and dependency towards her comedy mask. We don't know whether she's fixated on the actual sensation being happy 24/7 or just the ability to appear joyful around everybody else just yet, or What her real-world equivalent of the mask was, or even if there ever was a real-world equivalent to begin with. But, Personal indictment is that she does genuinely want long term companionship and meaningful connections with other people. Or at the very least, not be subtly ostracized out of social convention. I think she believes that curating her outward demeanor might change the way others perceive her, and hopefully the way they interact with her as well. It doesn't really help that each of the circus crew are all a bit too much in their own heads to notice, one way or another. Even if they do mean well at the end of the day, it's never quite what she's really looking to accomplish. (It also doesn't help that her digital design is so detached from being human either, she's essentially a flat face on a piece of string. One can't really blame her for trying to make the most of what she's able to display tbh.)

So far, we know Jax is apathetic, violent and generally antagonistic towards everyone in the main cast, sometimes deliberately towards the girls. I think it isn't all that farfetched to believe he latched on to Gangle because she was malleable enough to target without facing most of the consequences. Subsequently, there's also the idea of him relating Gangle's tragedy mask to her willingness to comply: It's an emotional vulnerability for her (She already sees herself as less deserving of human interaction in this state, she won't have anyone else to go to, she doesn't seem to like being left alone). It's not farfetched to assume Jax sees the tragedy mask as a more "complied version" of Gangle, more entertaining and easier to string along. Me thinks he prefers it, but again. It's too soon to tell. Anyways something something designated role in group activities something something internalized self-worth I think Gangle and Ragatha have very similar philosophies when it comes to people pleasing and it almost makes me believe in the theory that they secretly don't get along even more.

(btw plz feel absolutely no pressure to respond to any of this at all - Again, very messy thoughts that I barely had time to collect. Ribbun is an unexpected infection with unfortunately very thought consuming brain fodder to me personally. Have a nice day.

I like these thoughts! It'll be really interesting to see how the Comedy and Tragedy masks work for Gangle.

I do agree Jax probably prefers Tragedy Gangle as even if it's only as deep as "she's funnier like that." And Gangle is the easiest victim for him in that state.

We've seen everyone (but Kinger, who Jax kind of doesn't bother too much, and you could argue it's because Kinger doesn't give an entertaining reaction) fight back against Jax's behavior in some way. Ragatha yells at him, Zooble isn't afraid to get physical, and we can tell Pomni had death on her mind when he threw her off the truck. The most Gangle has done is timidly resist for a few seconds before compiling. Steps on her mask, pushes her, grabs her and puts her in the drivers seat, she doesn't say anything.

She has a couple of bite back words, but then Jax just bites back and it shuts her down. Which is interesting because when Ragatha yells at him it's clear he thinks its funny and merely snarks back at her, often getting her to yell more. He gets different reactions out of everyone in the group and picks different entertainment from that. Gangle might be the one he knows he has proper control over.

As for the Ragatha and Gangle thing, I was really interested in the fact no one cared when Gangle broke her mask in the pilot, not even Ragatha who is our outwardly most caring. You could say it's because she had tunnel vision on Pomni, but I immediately interpreted it as, yeah Gangle's mask breaks all the time, she's crying all the time, eventually people stop caring. The boy who cried wolf, etc etc.

Even if Ragatha doesn't have direct conflict with Gangle, the fact Ragatha is someone who internalizes everything, and projects a positive outlook, I imagine someone like Gangle would make her pretty uncomfortable.

Here Ragatha is trying her darnest to keep it together and remain positive, meanwhile Gangle is crying all the time behind her.

"It's not so bad here Pomni, I promise!" as Gangle cries in the background.

Gangle being a constant reminder of how Ragatha, and maybe all of them really feel about being stuck here. Too early to say if Ragatha resents Gangle for this, or how she really feels about it. But if she does that's so sad because (we also don't know yet) Gangle has no control over these feelings, it wasn't her choice for her avatar to work like this.

Which honestly could be a good allegory for how certain people view mental illness in the real world too. Ragatha being a loved one who's uncomfortable with Gangle's moods, or even believes if Gangle just tried hard enough like her (example: keeping her comedy mask safe) she'd be fine. Ooh sad comic ideas.

[idontknowanametouse]

Luffy's siblings headcanons (that means Ace, Sabo and Uta. Will leave the Shuggy to another post)

CW/TW: mentions of eating disorders, self-loathing and classism

Ace

Is autistic and has ADHD. Absolutely no idea of social clues or rules in general. Very sensitive to rejection and olphative stim. Loves running around and uses his devil fruit powers for visual stim. Has very frequent violent meltdowns, suffered with ableism violence because of it in both childhood and adulthood. Sarcasm king, though he doesn't actually get it himself. Never makes eye contact. Masks a lot.

Has bipolar disorder. It started after Sabo's death and only gotten worse through the years as he refused to get help. Somedays he'll just not leave his bed and wonder why he exists. However, other days, he is as sparkling as a flame and can't stop running around. Even in depressed days, as very few of them are completely debilitating, he tries to keep up his smile, but it's possible to see there's something wrong.

He is very tall and has very defined muscles, although they are not big (he's kind of thin). Both portuguese and multiracial brazillian ascendence, he has dark skin and freckles all over his body. Has lots of scars, although most of them aren't visible.

Trans and gay. Found out the trans thing after he met Sabo and Luffy and started feeling gender envy. They said they didn't feel like boys, but Ace explained he envied the fact that everyone would think of them as boys just by looking at them. Transitioned when he left Fusha Island, as he felt really scared before to come out to other people. Never had a sexuality question, he likes guys and that's it. Dating Yamato on distance.

Eats almost as much as Luffy, which is quite an accomplishment, and most of it goes to his muscles. If you look just at his torso, you'll get pretty concerned about his health, but his muscles prove that he's just really thin naturally.

Fave colors are orange and red. He puts them in every single piece of stuff he's ever owned.

Doesn't swear around strangers, but does a lot around family and friends. He is, in fact, known between them for being very rude sometimes.

Loves to hug. Hugs literally all the people he sees. He's quite touch starved.

Calls the Straw Hat pirates and the revolutionaries every week. Now, he knows everything about the revolutionary members and their personal stuff (Sabo is quite a gossip girl).

Regularly visits Wano to see Otama. She loves him and is always wanting to talk to him about literally every single detail about her day-to-day life, and he'll always listen to her.

Likes bubblegum pop music (Kate Perry fan) and also really sad japanese songs like "My R" or "Hated by life itself".

Although he doesn't change much on his clothes publically, he absolutely LOVES trying gnc styles in private. Specially likes corsets and make up. As a kid, he pretended he didn't have any interest on it so others could see him as a boy, but he's always liked it (one of the few times being seen as a girl made him happy).

Very scared of abandonment. He hates the thought of being alone, and after Marineford, it intensified as he remembered the feeling of being completely alone while being taken to his execution.

Sings very well, but doesn't show it normally. Very scared of what people might think. He plays some guitar and has composed a few songs, but nobody can know.

Although he is very ashamed of wearing make up, he sometimes shows it to Marco, as he got caught one day trying it and Marco insisted on him not giving up on it cuz hes actually pretty good at it.

Will sometimes shout out loud just cause he can. He likes the sound and the feeling of it and also jump scaring people.

Very protective of lil siblings, can and will bite you (and burn you) if you mess with them.

Sabo

Is autistic and has short term memory loss issues. "Fuck social rules". Hates any kind of touch, it feels icky. Is always moving so he can stim with literally anything he got on his hands, be it a paper clip or a gun. Only drinks milk and only eats plain bread. Masked a lot in childhood, stopped after losing his memory. Has those big bug autism eyes. Eye contact very intense. Has very frequent shutdowns.

Due to the whole "being hit by a canon ball in the head" thing, he is blind and deaf in the left side. Has a big burn scar that covers almost all of the left side on his face/scalp. He also got brain damage, which paralized his left side (he constantly uses his pipe as a cane) and also worsened his thought line, as he is now uncapable of thinking beyond the short term consequences of his actions. He also has hallucinations during hard moments.

Very tall and thin, due to always forgeting to eat (short term memory loss + autism consequence). Has albinism, his hair is very light, almost white, and eyes are a very clear tone of blue. Got big dark circles due to not sleeping well at all.

Nonbinary boy and asexual. They always thought that the whole gender thing was dumb, and even more after meeting Ace and Luffy. After they lost their memory, when they got their gender asked, they'd just answer "no". Found out they were asexual after started a relationship with Koala, as she asked if they wanted to have sex and they said "no, why would I want that? Isn't that a thing people just do to have children?"

Everyone needs to remind him when to eat, or else he'll starve. Absolutely can't feel when his stomach is craving for food. One of the reasons they are so thin, beyond genetics.

Favorite colors are blue and purple. When he introduces himself, it's basically "I'm Sabo. I use he/they. I'm a revolutionary. My favorite colors are blue and purple."

The one who swears the most in the army. Also screams a lot, and they even don't realize it.

Some of the hallucinations include his abusive household. These times, he goes to Dragon for comfort.

Keeps contact with Robin every week. Whenever he calls the straw hats, he asks Luffy to bring her so they can gossip. He now knows everything the straw hats do. He and Luffy bully Ace for being the only one of them that isn't asexual.

Loves goth and punk music, if in modern scenario, would always be with phones on their ear.

Uses punk-style clothes and has lots of piercings through his body (amazing idea from @where-does-the-heart-lie), got some tattoos too.

Is very scared of the dark. He just is. Always needs a little lamp with him so he doesn't stay the whole night awake.

Knew how to play piano as a kid due to his parents. Now, he hates it. Only played ONCE because of a disguise, and everyone who was there still begs for him to play again because he was really good at it, but he refuses.

Will let Koala try some experimental make-up on them, but nobody can touch their hair.

Always waving back and forth so they can keep stimming all the time.

Has killed and will kill for the people he loves. Do not try him.

Uta

Got ADD and BPD. Can't pay attention to shit to save her life, does not give a fuck about rules. Got very complicated familial relationships, and often feels guilty for her swings, even when others reassure her that it's ok. Variates very quicky between mania and depression and often deals with suicidal ideation. These times, she looks for comfort in her family.

Is kind of small, as she is both very thin and and short. Is black and has her hair in locs, dyed half red and half white. Actually wears purple contacts for her shows.

Transfem and bisexual. Found out transness in childhood and sexuality in teen years. Many of her songs are for queer awareness and acceptance. Basically the main reason xenopronouns and xenogender are known globally, as she herself uses she/they/purple/red/cute/song/art.

Has troubles with eating disorders. It was worse when she started her carrier, but it still affects her a lot, one of the reasons she is so small. Can eat more when she is with her family, but it's still way too small. However, she did stop vomit-inducing herself, which is something she reminds and praises herself for everyday.

Their favorite color is purple, but loves pink, too.

Red never swears in public as it might affect reds image, but, in private, does it a lot. And also yells.

Purple has lots of plushies and toys from purples childhood that purple keeps. They help purple on calming down, specially before and after shows.

Is in absolute schock after cute found out cutes dad was in a relationship with Buggy, Crocodile and Mihawk. But at least cute got a friend, Perona, with all of that. They gossip basically everyday and both agree their dads' situation is weird as fuck.

Although song is an idol, song likes all type of music. Songs whole playlist is more than 200 hours long.

Art only likes the clothes art wears in shows, so art keeps wearing them everyday (only changes them for pajamas to sleep).

Gets scared very easily by daily stuff (if you whisper "boo" at her ear she will faint) but can watch all horror movies ever and not feel a thing.

Liked sewing as a kid, but due to losing practice they're now ashamed of it cuz they think it looks bad. Will only repair a few pajamas.

The kind of child to experiment make up on everyone. LITERALLY EVERYONE. And do their hair as a bonus.

Due to being scared when purple first entered the music industry, purple started skin picking as an unhealthy stim, but is now unlearning it and trying to see which healthy stims purple likes the most.

Killed a guy once cuz he talked shit about her bro (Luffy). Don't say anything about him, for your own good.

[glamaphonic]

i don't post a ton about izzy hands bcs, being real, i just don't care that much about him, and frankly, i find the obsessive fixation on him both predictable and annoying.

but it's my blog and i have thoughts that, because of the person that i am, are going to be expressed in the form of a character breakdown. i promise it is as discourse-free as i could possibly make it, but obviously if you don't want to read my examination of izzy hands' motivations as a character then...don't.

i feel like there's a very widespread misapprehension of said character and motivations, and indeed it's a misapprehension that i predicted way last year, and one that helps contribute to a wealth of repetitive arguments and discourse about the character that i am assiduously attempting to avoid in this post. (i am not, btw, proposing any sort of "solution" here; people can argue about whatever they want.)

in short, there's a tendency in meta and fic to take a singular aspect of subtext (izzy is into blackbeard) and center it as the character's primary (and often sole) motivation. and then, to work from there to recontextualize and reimagine and reinvent everything around that assumption.

but the show and the character straight up stop making sense when you do that. because izzy's primary motivation is categorically not desire for blackbeard.

his primary motivation, textually, is that he wants to be captain.

if i was at work and breaking down his GMC as an antagonist in s1 it would be:

g(oal): get rid of stede so that ed can retire

m(otivation): become captain

c(onflict): he is continually prevented from getting rid of stede, primarily by ed

and as happens in well-constructed narratives everything he does for most of the season revolves around this gmc.

to slide into the character section: izzy is, fundamentally, both hungry for power and bad at actually wielding power. izzy cares, more than anything, about his job and being at the top of the field in that job.

in 1x04, he tells ed to his face that he thinks ed's a washed up has-been who izzy has only continued to work for because of the clout that comes with working for the legendary blackbeard. this is because, as we've seen him mention to fang and ivan, he reads ed's increasing disinterest in and boredom with his job, and potentially the attendant depression, as ed having gone "half-insane" and no longer living up to that ideal. izzy later takes this back when ed has once again proven himself capable of pulling off a typical blackbeard miracle, of being the master of the work that izzy venerates. and then ed dangles izzy's heart's desire before him. if ed can retire, then izzy no longer has to suffice with being second-in-command to the biggest, baddest pirate. he can have the mantle passed to him. he can be the master of the work.

but of course, necessary to this plan, as ed presents it, is that stede must die.

and that's what izzy spends the rest of the season trying to accomplish.

to suppose that izzy is primarily acting against stede out of jealousy over thwarted romantic hopes, as the point of a love triangle trying to get rid of his rival, as someone who is desperately trying to have ed's attention redirected at him, is to suppose that he is actively seeking an end-state directly in opposition to his own goals.

because if stede dies, things don't return to the status quo, izzy doesn't get ed "back" to continue alongside him in perpetuity, and he certainly doesn't get the affection and adoration that ed has never before demonstrated towards anyone (nor do i think he even wants it, but that's a whole other analysis). the terms as they were laid out and as izzy continuously pushes ed to fulfill are that stede dies, ed goes away forever, and izzy gets a boat and a captaincy. that is what izzy explicitly wants.

and yes, as ed falls in love with stede, izzy is disgusted by what he sees as ed being corrupted by someone beneath him, turned into some "thing" that deserves to be put down. and yes, he wants to avoid the legendary blackbeard being brought low, be it by stede bonnet's influence or an english ambush. and, yes, repressed gay jealousy is definitely an aspect of izzy's overall dislike of stede, in particular.

but these things are secondary and tertiary, respectively, to izzy's immediate motivations and goals.

he stays in 1x04 because ed offers him a captaincy. he pushes ed to kill stede in 1x06 because it's the plan that will lead to him being captain. he narks to the english because they will give him a boat and a captaincy for it (plus he swore to make ed regret not following through with the original plan that would give him a boat and a captaincy). and he's happy as a clam in 1x09, even though stede isn't actually dead and ed has undermined the legend of blackbeard by signing the act of grace, because his primary goal has been fulfilled. izzy is now captain of his own boat.

and in 1x10 the sole alteration in izzy's motivation all season occurs. he realized his power-hungry dreams, but his regrettable incapacity at wielding power comes back to bite him. after he's mutinied in short order, and his life is saved solely by ed's presence and authority, he's left with limited choices (within the scope of his characterization).

he can leave and go it alone; attempt to climb the ranks again elsewhere, and eventually perhaps meet that same end he just narrowly avoided.

or he can try to go back to how things were before, try to once again achieve the highest strata he ever had: right-hand man to the legendary blackbeard. secure in the knowledge that not only is this a top position in the field, but that, barring all else, blackbeard's power and authority are sufficient to keep him safe from the machinations of the crew.

but of course, in izzy's mind, for all that to happen blackbeard has to actually be blackbeard. and well we need not rehash his opinions on that.

so yeah, gay jealousy over ed? definitely a thing izzy feels, imo, if deeply repressed.

but is it his actual motivation for almost anything he does throughout the season? demonstrably not, or else he would've made some very different decisions.

anyway this is all basically just a rehash of this conversation, but i was noodling on it so.

[ashessonfire]

hello lovely!! would it be possible to write smth w wylan?? like, sweet little headcanons abt him in a relationship!! thank youu <3 love ur fics

Dating Wylan Van Eck - Headcanons <3

- Pairing - Wylan Van Eck x Reader (gender neutral)

A/N - Hi Hi!! One exam is down, only four more to go! Very soon my other works will be completed, but i missed writing so much, so here are some of my sweet headcanons for Wylan. I hope i have done him justice in this, as I am normally a Kaz type of girl. I hope i have done you proud anon <3333

Reminder - my requests are always open, please keep sending them! <3

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The most attentive partner you could ever find, he will pay you 100% of his attention no matter the topic

He never wishes for you to experience the loneliness and isolation he felt with your father, EVER

As a result of this, expect the sweetest and most heartfelt gifts to be hurriedly placed into your hands before he runs off to distract himself from the blush blooming across his face

Every single present you receive from him will be extremely intricate and personal, remembering childhood stories you've recalled, or things you wished for years ago

"I know you said it about six months ago, but..."

He does not forget nor ignore a single detail about you

Despite his sheepish nature, the longer you're with him, the more adorable outbursts occur

By this I mean sudden bursts of bubbling confidence as he explains something he's passionate about, or witty jokes he's thought of

"Well, actually, did you know that technically, humans can create their own venom? So, it starts with....."

Although he may be embarrassed and retreat into himself afterwards, any sign of encouragement from you would melt his heart, prompting him to keep opening himself up to you

Another thing that would simply make his heart implode, is if you took interest in his passions - allowing him to teach you simple chords on the piano, or help him produce a few basic chemical reactions down in the lab

Just showing care for the things he adores would result in him losing his mind, since very few people in his past had taken any true interest in him, at all

He would be the most gentle and patient teacher ever, placing soft kisses on your knuckles when you succeeded in getting a melody correct on the piano, or a peck on the cheek when you have accomplished anything

In terms of love languages, I am certain that Wylan actually uses all of them... <3

Although he can be nervous to express his feelings through words, he is a poetic and creative soul, so given time to grow comfortable with you, whispers of "I love you," or "I'm so lucky to have found you," would slowly slip into conversations

Quality time is a given for Wylan, since he's never had someone who wants his company for long, again wishing to shelter you from the pain he has experienced himself - expect many quiet evenings by the fireplace where he crafts melodies on the flute, and you bake or read in comfort

Once time has gifted the boy more confidence, expect his touch to increase swiftly, never wanting to let you go - soft brushes of your shoulders as you walk side-by-side, fingers gently interlocked, brushes of stray locks as the breeze shifts them...

He would do anything for you, no matter what you ask of him, so always expect your home to be spotless, your chores already completed when you turn to do them - with Wylan its very unlikely you will need to do much at all, he is so attentive

As mentioned earlier, gift giving is definitely one of his favorite ways to express his love, clearly portraying his heart to you when his words may fail him

In terms of what he wants and needs in a relationship? I think his standards would be on the floor, merely needing your presence in a room to comfort him

However once he realizes that you reciprocate his acts of love? Well I think he'd be completely at your mercy by that point

Although it may take some time to stop his fretting and insecurities, once he accepts that he doesn't just have to give, but he can receive love back, he is the happiest he has ever been in his life

With your love and affection, he would absolutely thrive, becoming a more confident and strong version of himself - slowly stripping him of his nervous behaviour and allowing his true self to shine more often

To me, a relationship with Wylan would be a gentle, affectionate, and peaceful experience - both partners being showered in love constantly

Being with him is like having a personal ray of sunshine, who would express his love for you in any way he can <3

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p.s ~ any reposts help me infinitely!! ^^

[tommyssupercoolblog]

A moot of yours who used to be a singlet but recently found out I'm actually plural, any advice?

BE NICE TO UR HEADMATES and figure out a way to be at peace with each other ✌🏻 because in system conflict SUCKS ASS

Get to know urself and each other :0 differences, similarities, all dat. You may find that a food one of you hates is one another person in your system LOVES, etc etc. try things out and you might find things you really like! Plus it just feels nice to know who u are

If in-system communication doesn't come naturally to you, find ways to do it! Work towards being able to collaborate 🤝 and communicate with each other

Connected to the above in a way; boundaries. It's important you all are able to communicate boundaries with each other, especially on privacy. For example, Seán is a more private person than me and he doesn't want anyone to share like, MOST info about him without permission- so if we're talking to someone, I (and everyone else) won't just share stuff without asking, because we know he likes to be in control of that and be able to keep things to himself, or at least be the one to share it. He also has a lot of stuff that he'll only show me, or keep to himself entirely, and everyone knows not to go through his things. I, on the other hand will tell people almost anything if they ask me, and I don't really care if other alters go through my sketchbooks or anything because if they asked me like, any question about myself, I'd answer it anyway. So make sure you're on the same page with each other on boundaries with regards to privacy (and also anything else you can think of).

Simplyplural app can help you track fronting times, but can also just be a handy place to store system info :3

If you DO have a headspace, it usually pays to make sure you're able to access it and practice that, assuming you can't access it easily (some systems can, some can't). If you DON'T have a headspace, you can either try and make one (some systems have managed to do this and have it work) or just account for it in system communication stuff (it might need you need to leave more physical notes or use the polling/chat features in simplyplural, for example)

Pluralkit bot for discord will allow you to have seperate usernames and pfps in discord if u want them. There's also a Minecraft mod for that, I'll go figure out the name and edit this post with it

Chill out and just exist. Don't worry about system roles or what your "purpose" is as an alter, let yourself just. Be.

If any of you want/need a sperate space (their own Tumblr sideblog or blog, for example, like how me and Seán have seperate ones) then go ahead and make one! But don't feel pressured to do that if you don't want to. There's nothing wrong with sharing everything!!!

If you're out as a system to a person who's in-person with you, it might also pay to communicate who's fronting; for if you want them to know in general, but also for if one of you has different boundaries or preferences than other people. Seán doesn't like to be touched (he'll tune out when I hug people in front) so if he's fronting/piloting, people know not to touch us. Mom will hug me and play with my hair a lot but when she's with Seán she's careful not to do that- she'll occasionally offer a fist bump tho

Once you're ready, consider ur goals for the system in the long term- do you just want to exist peacefully as multiple, or do you want to fuse together? What does ur future look like, ideally? Different alters may have different wants and needs, so don't force it!! It's possible some of you will fuse and the rest will stay separate or something like dat

Don't wallow in misery. Being plural can be hard but it can also be awesome, and to quote a certain Tumblr post, you don't have to perform your rock bottom for the sake of people believing you. If you only focus on the negatives and beat yourself up, all it'll accomplish is feeling SUPER depressed and miserable. Love yourself/selves, all of you. It makes life better.

[mashedcontroller]

I'm feeling spicy, time to list everything I think BH outclassed 03 on. And by that, prepare yourself for the most backhanded, hyper specific or wildly vague, and strings-attached compliments you've heard in your fucking life. But actually, the reason I'm doing this is because I think 03 is better than BH in every way that matters. The majority of common points people give BH over 03 typically come down to attempts to make subjective taste sound objective since a lot of shit is really just a difference in priorities and/or genre rather than an objective flaw in the other show.

And, to be clear, 03 is the better show. It has a really strong thematic core and just says a lot of shit that I rarely see other stuff have the gall to say. 03 tackles heavy topics and tackles them well. It left me with a lot to think about, even years after my first viewing. It's a political piece of art that remains relevant 20 years after the fact. On some levels, it was designed to do this. 03 is a character drama that deconstructs a lot of the elements that make up the shonen genre, and it also very clearly had something to say. 03 has very few weak points and has some of the strongest moments I've seen from any piece of media that I've interacted with. I think a lot of its bad reputation comes from people failing to engage with the show on its own terms. I can only speculate on what's going through other people's heads, but expecting it to act as supplementary material for BH is a fundamentally wrong assumption to make about the show. These two shows are trying to accomplish very different things, so judging 03 on its ability to be BH is a boldfaced stupid lens to view the show through.

BH, however, is still a well-made show. Like, I'm more than happy to shit on it, but BH is by no means a bad anime. It's just not as ambitious as people claim it to be. And if it really is one of the best things Shonun has to offer, then that says pretty mediocre things about the genre imo. It's far from a bad show. I think it accomplishes the role of "fun action series" really well, but it also has gaping flaws the moment you decide to engage with the work critically. That's not necessarily an issue that I'll take with its fanbase. The show's got a lot of elements that make it good for cultivating one. Stuff like large casts, likeable characters, emphasizing its worldbuilding, prioritizing action over character work, etc. are all traits that are great for cultivating fandom, and they're all traits that BH has that 03 revokes. But yeah, BH does fall apart once you look at it critically. My biggest issues with it come down to the fact that the show baits you into thinking that it's deeper than it actually is. So, I'll take the bait and look for the deeper stuff and then find nothing, which is where my negative perception of the show comes from, which isn't helped by how common it is for people to take the bait without really looking.

So, yeah, in short, I have a mountain of good things to say about 03. It's an incredible piece of art with so much shit to look into. In my opinion, you're doing the show a disservice to watch it and not put serious analytical thought into what you're consuming. Meanwhile I have a lot of mixed opinions about BH. It's a great show to watch, it's just a terrible show to consume critically. This isn't even me calling people who prefer BH dumb or anything. The show's are just so fundamentally different from one-another that your preference truly does just come down to a mix of personal tastes and how you prefer to interact with media, especially if you're a more casual viewer of either/both shows. The part that makes me angry is how disrespected 03 is in the majority of FMA circles.

The animation and sound design of Roy's snap is really fucking good in BH.

While 03 may have an overall better art direction and visuals than BH, I do really like how juicy the BH animators and sound designers made Roy's fire attack. The fire itself is just so fucking juicy and satisfying. The BH team did a really good job at making that attack iconic. There's no "but actually" here. The BH team just fucking nailed this one aspect.

In general, BH has better special effects than 03. This is absolutely a difference in available technology at the time each show was animated. And while I do have respect for special effects animation; it's often the difference between animations looking really stiff vs getting across their intended atmospheres, especially in the realm of video games. Using a human body as an analogy, the special effects are more like the hair than the skin, fat, muscle, nerves, or bones. Both important but somewhat expendable.

BH's alchemy is much more logically consistent than 03's.

So, there are a lot of reasons for this difference. The two main ones are the BH and 03 can barely if even be considered the same genre of anime. BH is a fun fights-heavy action series with some intrigue plot, while 03 is a really critical deconstruction the genre BH embraces that's more of a character drama with a heavily knit thematic core than anything else.

And their commitments to their genres translate to each show's relationship with alchemy. In 03, Alchemy's rules are much more metaphoric than literal. Equivalent Exchange is the shit because it's representative of the philosophy that Edward clings to; that life is fundamentally fair, that there is some universal justification for everything that happens. And 03 is about tearing that belief into itty bitty pieces. In fact, we learn that Equivalent Exchange isn't even true. Everything about Alchemy in 03 is bound by the magic's metaphorical meaning. Thus, when it comes to fights, characters really just need to be able to loosely justify how their alchemy functions for the audience to go "oh ok." And, in 03, alchemy is fundamentally powered by taking the life force of something and using that energy to do something else. So, you get stuff like the ability to extract alchemical energy from plants in order to amplify your alchemy much later, Edward being able to turn his automail into a gun, Dante's alchemic dragon thing, Scar's arm being the Philosopher's Stone, etc. The point is that you're sort of meant to accept that "yeah thats a thing that can happen." In other words, the fights exist purely for spectacle and the logic behind them is low priority at best. So, the way 03 frames it's combat is that it has to establish rules that exist within their own space and work with those rules. So, it can't circumvent stuff like "Roy can't use his gloves if they're wet" because there's no reason to and giving a talk about how H2O has Oxygen in it would have been horribly distracting in the one scene where Roy does get fucking soaked. Especially since him being crafty in a fight is sold by him just using Havoc's matches + Armstrongs rocks to make frag bombs. Tldr, the way 03 is structured allows if not flat out encourages characters to bullshit during fights. I think the fast and loose usage of alchemy's principles in the earlier parts of the show also make the later parts of the show, where those principals turn out to be false, feel more believable.

Meanwhile, BH's alchemy is operating on a much more literal framework, so the writing has more room and necessity for creative and engaging combat sequences. In a way, the fights in BH are puzzles and alchemy is the tools the characters are given to solve those puzzles, so the fights become engaging because you want to see how the characters solve the puzzles. It's very gamey. That said, I do have to say that I dislike how the homunculi are fit into this system. Their lose condition is having their stones exhausted, which just translates into "they have more HP." Which is very bullshit. The homunculi in BH die when the story tells them to, at least, that's how their lose condition makes it feel.

Both shows heavily rely on the usage of gimmicks to make their fights interesting. For example, Roy uses exclusively fire, which he creates by snapping. Like, I really like how Roy's combat gimmick gets explored in this fight specifically.

I like how Ed ducks into a crowd in an attempt to dissuade him, and Roy's like "you think I care about collateral damage lmao." I like how Ed thinks he won the fight by slicing Roy's glove, but then Roy just ruins his day by revealing that he has two hands and therefore another glove. I really like how Roy's not taking this very seriously and Ed only wins because of Roy getting a flashback. This fight is just an excellent display of character for both of them and I love it.

Anyways, there are a lot of other character gimmicks. Honestly, 03 is so much better with its character gimmicks during fights than BH is. Like, I could list a ton of cool moments where the character gimmicks get played with. And part of how it does this is that every character plays by their own rules. No character will ever break their own rules, but the universal rules governing what is and isn't acceptable for a fight isn't very consistent. This does fit into 03s themes about how there is no universal truth. But yeah, that's how 03 structures its fights and why characters will sometimes just blatantly ignore the laws of alchemy.

Anyways, in BH, the rules are much less person-by-person and are more like "Alchemists can do XYZ," "Homunculi can do ABC," "Alkahestrists can do UWV," "Chimeras can do RST," etc. So, everyone has similar rules that they have to play by. Which also makes it so much more jarring when someone blatantly breaks those rules. Like, when Edward gets impaled and uses alchemy to not die, it's super jarring because that breaks the laws of human frailty and it doesn't really make sense. It's even worse when Edward fucks with Pride's Stone. Compare that to some of the blatant bullshitting in 03, like where Edward uses concrete to turn his broken automail into a gun. He shouldn't be able to decide when the shots are fired and where's the ammo coming from? But part of the reason it isn't jarring is because him turning his automail into a gun isn't a big deal or even particularly important to the scene he does that in. Or take bullshitting that is more relevant, like Alphonse performing a successful human transmutation. At this point, it's been clearly established that Alchemy's laws aren't true. So, Alphonse breaking them doesn't break audience suspense. Instead, the fundamental logic behind it actually working is tied to the story's central themes.

But yeah, BH's alchemy is a bit more logically consistent than 03's, but there's a very good reason for 03's alchemy to have some logical inconsistencies, which results in BH being much worse at breaking its own rules than 03 is.

A lot of the characters are just easier to get behind and digest in BH.

The entire point of 03 is that these characters are nazis and morally grey as fuck. Meanwhile, the characters in BH are primarily meant to be fun characters that you could comfortably fantasize about being or being friends with. The characters in BH are much simpler than in 03 and the show tends to gloss over their war crimes. Even when it addresses them, there's a billion asterisks and variations of "they're still the good guys." Compared to 03, where everyone is just messy and fucked up.

For example, BH Roy is easier to root for than 03 Roy, but that's because BH Roy is a fundamentally different type of character than 03 Roy. BH Roy is firmly a protagonist while with 03 Roy, he's much more antagonistic and complex. He doesn't solidly fit into the categorization of protagonist or antagonist because he's a bit of both.

And to be clear, I'm not calling the characters in BH simplistic in a derogatory way. A major benefit to simplicity is that you know who to root for and don't have to do a ton of heavy thinking to enjoy the story. That said, I don't think this style of character is necessarily appropriate for a story where the majority of the protagonists committed racial genocide and serve in the military for a fascist dictatorship. BH's characterization would've been a lot better if the story wasn't also trying to cover ridiculously heavy topics.

I've been using Roy as my go-to example since he's the only character to be one of my favorites in both shows, but I think the character who benefits the most from this point is Izumi. In BH, she's iconic. She's a slapstick oriented character who's just a joy to have on screen. In 03, her character writing gives me a lot of mixed messages. She's still very slap stick, but it's just weird in 03 since a lot of similar stuff gets unpacked, but Izumi being outright physically abusive to the Elrics at times just isn't. She's also much softer in 03; most characters are. And I'm mostly just left confused on how to feel about her. She has some great scenes, especially with Wrath, but the character feels a bit disjointed. In BH, she really benefits from being a nonparticipant in Ishval. The writing doesn't have to worry about her being sympathetic in spite of her committing genocide, so she gets to be divorced from the massive fuck up that was that section of the story.

BH has a larger cast than 03. Also, a lot of BH exclusive characters are more likeable than the 03 exclusive characters.

There's a lot of things to unpack here.

So, first thing that's kinda an obvious point is that BH prioritizes making its characters easily likeable to the detriment of its larger themes, 03 makes its characters likeable in service of those themes. So, it's a lot easier to get behind BH Mustang than 03 Mustang because Mustang's warcrimes just aren't that important in BH while they're the most important part of the character in 03. A lot of a character's likeability in BH hinges on the audience's ability to simply ignore the Ishval subplot, which was already a poorly handled subplot. While in 03, their likeability is intentionally contrasted with their war crimes to make a point. That's the primary reason why the characters in BH are more likeable than in 03.

And this also extends to the casts that are either version exclusive or unrecognizable between the two. Kimbly is a perfect example. In BH, he's designed primarily as a fun and bombastic antagonist who blows shit up because it's fun. They also made him extremely fashionable. Meanwhile, in 03 he's genuinely fucked up and views the lives of people as little more than tools to use to further his own goals, which is made interesting by Kimbly not being a top dog (like most villains running with that mindset are). He's at the bottom of the food chain and yet he still thrives under that mindset. BH Kimbly is the more fun character, but that's because BH Kimbly and 03 Kimbly are fundamentally different types of antagonist.

A lot of this comes down to tone. 03 is a much more somber show than BH. Unlike BH, it takes the premise of "child soldier works for a fascist government that partook in genocide a few years back because he wants to fix a mistake that made him and his brother permanently disabled" as a sign that the story is meant to be dark and a little fucked up. Meanwhile, BH tends to gloss over the fucked up shit in favor of selling the power-fantasy aspect of the story. This just results in BH's characters being a lot more fun. The surface level shit is the only thing that really matters to them when looking at BH since the deeper shit is simply shit and not really worth calling attention to.

The cast sizes also exist to further both show's individual goals. BH being about action and badass people being badass benefits from a larger cast because you get to see more flavors of badassery. It lets fights cycle between different styles of combat, which helps keep things interesting. 03 is a character drama. This benefits from having a smaller cast because it allows the show to spend more time unpacking a handful of characters.

There are a lot more badass female characters in BH compared to 03

I'll give BH a "you did the bare minimum" award for being an action show with female characters who are not just eye candy. That doesn't make the show revolutionary. It just says bad things about the genre that this isn't considered the bare minimum. But yeah, in both shows, most of the female characters are subordinate to their male peers. Hawkeye is defined as Roy's henchman. Winry is defined as Ed's love interest/childhood friend, Izumi is defined as Ed's mentor. In some aspects, this is fine. Like, the main characters are Edward and Alphonse, they don't need to draw attention away from them in favor of their own bullshit. But how badass a character is doesn't exactly translate into whether they're feminist.

Like, again, the reason you see more badass female characters in BH than 03 is the same reason you see more badass characters in BH than 03; BH is an action show, 03 is a character drama with some amount of action on the side. They're both guilty of employing sexist tropes. BH tends mix those tropes with badassery, while 03 tends to mix those tropes with character nuance. Doesn't change the existence of the tropes. It's sort of just something that you gotta accept about either show. That doesn't mean that its female characters don't have good moments in either show. Just that they're working from a sexist baseline. Neither show is particularly feminist, but they're also far from the worst offenders out there.

There are a few characters where I prefer their BH incarnations over their 03 versions.

The reason someone might prefer one version's character over another is a bit more nuanced than just which character was written better. The vast majority of overlapping characters fulfill different narrative niches in each story. For example, comparing 03 Lust and BH Lust has always felt disingenuous to me because while it's true that 03 Lust is the more compelling character, a major reason for that fact is that BH Lust was never designed with being compelling in mind. A more apt comparison would be 03 Lust to BH Greed, as those two characters do share the same niche of being an antagonist that makes the audience question the nature of the homunculi and eventually splits off from them. I'd also say that BH Lust and 03 Greed fulfill similar narrative niches as being a minor antagonist that establishes exactly what the main villains are all about and who's death is used as a tool by the authors to reveal exactly what the protagonist slaying them is all about. That's why BH Lust's death and 03 Greed's Deaths are both pointed to as highlighting points in their respective series. They both execute on their niches quite well.

This also accounts for the primary reason why someone may like a character in one show but dislike them in another. BH Mustang fulfills the niche of a secondary protagonist. In 03, he fulfills the role of a pseudo-antagonist / morally ambiguous major character. I happen to really like both versions of Mustang, but it's for very different reasons. In BH, I just think he's funny and has a lot of good banter. That's more or less exactly what he's meant to accomplish there. You're supposed to go "haha funny" and/or "haha awesome" with this guy. BH Mustang falls apart when you critically analyze him because the Ishval plot was mishandled, but his surface level traits are so good that I can just be like "I saw nothing." Meanwhile, 03 Mustang is a character who you sort of have to engage with critically to get the most out of. He's a complicated character and his relationship with the audience isn't a static variable. And there's merit to both approaches of character writing. There's as much value to a character where it's not worth overanalyzing them as there is to a character who doesn't really come into their own until you pull out the tweezers.

So, in case anyone's curious, which characters do I prefer their BH incarnations to over their 03 incarnations? Well, I prefer Barry the Chopper and Izumi Curtis in BH vs their 03 counterparts. Like I said, there's a lot more nuance than "this character was written better in one anime than the other" when regarding personal preferences. So, the reason I prefer BH Izumi over 03 Izumi is that I thought BH Izumi was funny and cool while I just got a lot of mixed messages about 03 Izumi. So, in this case, I think BH Izumi fulfilled her narrative purpose really well, while I have much more mixed opinions on 03 Izumi. As for Barry, it's a similar case where I thought he was really funny in BH, while I think he fell short as a more serious antagonist in 03. In Izumi's case, the failings I have for her in 03 are that I don't think her treatment of the Elrics is put under the same scrutiny that every other character is given. Like, in BH, her being physically violent towards them is played off for comedy. It's the same case in 03, but it doesn't work as well in this context because 03 is the show that turned the short jokes into an important metaphor, so it's really weird that Izumi's slapstick wasn't given the same treatment. And I found that really off-putting. Meanwhile, my main issue with BH Izumi is that the stuff around her failed human transmutation was extremely underexplored, which doesn't stick out as much as the slapstick issue in 03 because Izumi is ultimately a minor character in BH while she takes the mantle of a more major character in 03. Though, personal bias is a huge factor in why I prefer BH Izumi over 03 Izumi, since her specific plot about being unable to bear children just happens to be so alien to my personal life, as someone who's both never had a failed pregnancy, has zero interest in bearing children, and would happily make a magic "goodbye pussy" circle. It's not that this type of conflict can't still be compelling to someone like me, but it's going to require more narrative work than a conflict that I can more closely relate to. Hence, why it's personal bias. Meanwhile, in the case of Barry the Chopper, my preference towards BH's version is a fair bit less subjectively biased. He just fits really awkwardly into the role 03 tries to assign him. The issue is that he jumps back and forth between trying to be fucked up and scary to being a comedic antagonist, which just undermines both aspects of him.

Like, the antagonist for this scene, should end up looking completely alien to the version of Barry the Chopper seen in BH, but that version of Barry is played relatively similar to BH Barry in Lab 5, resulting in the 03 Barry being inconsistent.

And for every character where I prefer their BH version, there are plenty more characters where I prefer their 03 versions. And a lot of that will come down to personal preference.

Armstrong's a great example of a character who on a surface level isn't that far off between 03 and BH, but he just works so much better in 03 than in BH because of the different character niches he fulfills in both shows. In 03, he's a minor character, while in BH, he's a major character. So, in 03, he's not particularly developed. He's mainly a funny guy who has a few shots where he's sad over Ishbal, and then he ends up supporting Mustang in overthrowing the government, which he mostly does in a comedic fashion. That's a pretty apt description for both his 03 and BH incarnations, but I only take issue with his performance in BH. The reason for this is that he's a more important character in BH, so I expect the show to disclose more information about him, which doesn't happen. Like, in BH, I want to know more about how his refusal to fight in Ishval affected him, his relationships, his status, etc. But BH only addresses that through off-handed scenes where Olivier calls him a pussy, which don't really go anywhere. Meanwhile, in 03, first of all, Armstrong did kill people in Ishbal, so the massive question of "how did his time in Ishbal affect him" can be supplemented by other characters confronting similar questions. Thus, the minor amounts of information we are given about Armstrong alongside information we see from other characters who were soldiers in Ishbal like Marcoh and Mustang are more than enough to get across the general picture. Secondly, we actually do get hints at how Armstrong's goofier attitude and kinder disposition impact his career. Mainly during the raid in Dublith where Envy disguised as Bradly says "this is why you never get a promotion." As a minor character in 03, he's allowed to have the nuances of his character be heavily carried by implication. But I can't really give a major character like BH Armstrong that same affordance, especially when those hints are barely given. It doesn't help that Armstrong's backstory in BH very heavily leaned into the story's insistence that the soldiers didn't mean it when they slaughtered Ishval.

Edward is more of a Badass in BH than 03

Ngl, I'm cheating a little with this point because it's like "I agree with this point but I also couldn't give less of a shit about it." Which, that response is, at least, 85% personal preference coming into the equation. I'm not going to say that badass characters never resonate with me, but it's really uncommon because the badass character has to be someone I personally can somewhat relate to, which is a rare flavor of character in popular media. My own experiences with the two characters are that I find BH Edward to be kinda boring as a character while 03 Edward is the most interesting character in the show (as he should be given everything I said about what 03 is trying to accomplish). But it's a lot of the same stuff my general thesis has been; BH Ed is more badass than 03 Ed because BH Ed was written to be a badass while 03 Ed was written to be a compelling character.

The actual reason I wanted to bring up this point is because it's a common enough point I've seen people make when comparing the two shows and I find this point rather bothersome. Maybe that's because I take issue with consistently seeing a rather mediocre character being placed on a pedestal over one of the best protagonists I've ever seen. But it's also more the explanations that bug me than anything. Like, I cannot take anyone seriously who uses calling a character "whiny" as a critique. Maybe it's because you're looking for an action hero who can shrug off shit that would normally be traumatizing, in which case, you're in the wrong genre. Maybe you take some issue with characters being emotional in a vulnerable sort of way. 03 features a lot of characters displaying emotions in a dysfunctional sort of way. Characters are allowed to hurt in a way that doesn't fuel anything other than more hurt. Characters will repress their feelings and that will bite them in the ass. Characters are allowed to be depressed, not in a "waiting for the heroic do shit speech" sort of way but in the genuine "existing is painful, no energy, depression" kinda way.

And this is the point that rubs me the wrong way about the majority of complaints thrown at 03 Ed. It's not that wallowing in your own misery makes for good entertainment, but it's an important part of 03's themes and its point. I can also, just, relate more to this unproductive sense of pain. I have depression, that is what depression looks and feels like. It's unproductive, it's painful, it can't be fixed by someone just walking up to you and giving a dramatic speech. And that's why the way 03 expresses hurt resonates with me in a way that BH's just doesn't. It's low octane, and that's the point. That's what makes it good.

BH's Ending is a lot more Straight-Forwards than 03's Ending

I think that's the best way I can put it without saying something I flat out disagree with. BH, in general, is much more straight-forwards than 03, and the endings of both show embody that. BH is, ultimately, a fun show where the heroes have to take a bunch of twists and turns to come out victorious. Meanwhile, 03 is an extremely messy show about characters being put in fucked up situations and no one coming out of it unscathed. It's about decisions that will haunt you for the rest of your life. It's about situations where the right answer is the one you least want to accept. It's a show about how the people will create doctrines to shield themselves from the truth. And it's a show about human selfishness. The endings of both shows are exactly how their shows should have ended. BH was never going to have a bad ending and 03 was never going to have a completely satisfactory ending. If 03 had a happy ending, the show would've been worse off for it.

So, yeah, BH's ending is a lot more straight-forward. It's a happy ending where everyone gets what they want more or less. Narrative knots are tied. All that shit. I personally thought the ending was nothing special. Like, it's another happy ending. I can't fault people for enjoying it for that, but it's not the type of thing that's going to stand out in my brain.

Meanwhile, 03's ending does a lot of nontraditional things. There's arguably multiple major plot twists that come out of nowhere and are more of a "fuck you" to the audience than anything else. The protagonists end the series arguably off worse than where they started. Wrath and Gluttony are still alive and haven't had their arcs concluded in any satisfying way. There's no guarantee that the setting or the characters in it will continue to be okay after the series ends. And that's okay. The ending of 03 is very messy because it's meant to be messy because the point that the show is making is that the world is neither straightforward nor fair, which is why you gotta keep doing the best you can to improve it. That's why the ending is uplifting. Even though Edward's in arguably the worst position he's been in throughout the series, having literally lost everything, he hasn't given up, so you, the viewer, shouldn't give up either. Life doesn't end until it ends, so you should live.

And yeah, the ways that 03's and BH's ending function are fundamentally different. I can totally see why one ending would pass someone by. Like I already said, I didn't feel anything watching BH's ending but 03's ending felt very significant to me, and I could totally understand the inverse being true for some people.

Conclusion

People give BH too much credit and shit too much on 03. Like, 03 is just the better show. It's just that 03 isn't designed to be a comfortable watch in the same way BH is. You're meant to leave BH feeling good, you're meant to leave 03 with a lot to think about. If 03 makes you uncomfortable, that's a feature, not a bug. Many of the fan advertised strengths and weaknesses of each show is really just differences in genre.

And while I've repeatedly conveyed that 03 is the better show, that's not because BH is bad; 03 is just really fucking good. It's like comparing Elden Ring to Dark Souls 1; sure they're made by the same developers and have a lot of surface level similarities, but they're so fundamentally different experiences that viewing them through the same lens isn't fair to either. There are a lot of things that BH does well, and there are a lot of things that 03 does well. But it's not fair to say "BH does X thing better than 03 therefore it's better" (or the occasions where the inverse claim is made) because both shows are trying to paint very different pictures, to the point where I don't consider them to be parts of the same genre. There may be similar components, but the way those components are used is very different from one-another. Comparing the two shows makes for interesting analysis, but it's bad for the purposes of actually criticizing either show.

[msmargaretmurry]

any advice on how to not get overwhelmed at the prospect of writing a longer fic? 😭😭 i freak myself out with “ohhh what if i get too far in and then it turns out it sucks” and “i’ll have to do so much research for certain canon compliant things” etc etc

hi anon! i would be happy to share some of the things that work for me! we all know i love to talk incessantly about writing. thank you for giving me an excuse to. ❤

standard writing advice disclaimer that this is indeed all just stuff that works for me personally. it might not work for you, or you might have to tweak it to work for you, because different things work for different people! like all writing advice, it is best approached as suggestions and not as rules, so while i think this is all stuff worth trying, i also think that if you find it doesn't work with how your writing brain works, you should absolutely chuck it out the window.

firstly: get comfortable with the idea that the story is going to evolve as you write it. when you're writing something long, you ARE going to get far into it and realize you fucked something up at the begininning, or realize you left something out, or realize you need to change or cut something from earlier for the story to work. this does NOT mean that you're writing badly! recognizing those things is actually super smart of you! you are not beholden to what you wrote a week ago or a month ago or six months ago in your WIP. you can simply change it to better suit this story that you now know more about. no one will even know that you originally wrote it differently except maybe your alpha reader or pal you've been bouncing ideas off of, and they're legally required* to take that information to their grave. i will touch a little more on editing long fic in a minute, but i really do think this is maybe the most important piece of advice: accept that your story will change as you write, and think of it as a good thing.

(*i am not a lawyer)

writing your long fic is going to take a long time. that's a huge part of what makes it such a nerve-wracking undertaking! writing long fic is dedicating a huge amount of time and energy to a creative project that you have a lot of feelings about, and it can be really hard! but it can also be so rewarding and so worth it to see all that work turn into the story that you really wanted to tell. just the sense of accomplishment of FINISHING a long-term project like that is really cool and gratifying. it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking "what if i put in all this work and then it sucks" but i think it's helpful to try to reframe that thought as something like "i'm going to put all this work in and learn so much about this story, and figure out how to make it the best that i can make it at this stage in my writing journey."

also, again: your first draft is not going to be perfect. it might be deeply, deeply flawed. you ARE going to have to edit. that doesn't mean you were writing badly. that is a normal and even essential part of writing. your story doesn't suck if the first draft is kinda fucked up. your story is NORMAL if the first draft is kinda fucked up. especially with long fic, getting the story out and then editing holistically to make it all work is really where the magic happens.

(i know there are people who post chapter by chapter while they write instead of writing the whole thing and editing it altogether; i cannot speak to their processes because i cannot write like that 😂)

if you are lucky enough to have a trusted friend or two willing to read as you write, cheerlead, and help you pick through tough spots in the story, i do recommend you take them up on it! because it can take so long to write a long fic, having people who are excited about your story and to provide that gratification can be really helpful. two things to keep in mind here are to make sure your alpha-readers are people you can trust not to flake on you and who will be reliably able to give pretty quick feedback, and to try to resist the urge to call on them to read every single time you write more. i usually go to mine in 5–10k chunks of long fic draft. obviously this isn't a hard and fast rule at all, but i think it a) gives them meatier chunks of story to give me feedback on and b) helps me get and stay comfortable with writing for longer periods without feedback, so i can concentrate more on the story and be less distracted thinking about how other people will react to it.

on the research front: research can be really daunting!! unfortunately i am a nerd who loves research so i usually see it as a fun challenge. but i think there are a couple of things that might help. when you're getting ready to dive into your long fic, make a list of things you're going to need to research, then divide them into things that you NEED to know to write the story (e.g. dates of important games, for pacing reasons) and things that can wait until after you get the first draft down and are editing. like, if you're writing something set in a city you're not familiar with and want to include local details, you don't need to do that research up front. use placeholder tags to fill in during editing — [RESTAURANT] or [STREET NAME] or [DESCRIPTION TO COME AFTER I LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW] — or just leave yourself a note to come back and add descriptive details later.

also, remember that fic readers are often super willing to let some inaccuracies slide for the sake of a good story, so it's okay if not everything is perfect! you are also allowed to elect to ignore canon when it does not serve you. like, in HAW, i simply said hello we are pretending that matthew re-signed in calgary, that there were no notable roster changes from the previous season, and, on a smaller potatoes level, that brady is still living with timmy and josh. because that's what i wanted for my story (and also because the matthew trade to florida happened when i was already about 70k into the draft and i was like, fuck it, we're doing it anyway 😂). which is all to say that it's okay and even good to find a balance between doing research/committing to accuracy and saying fuck it for the sake of your story.

on the editing front: try to limit the amount of editing you do while you're writing. you can get so caught up in forever tweaking what you've already written that your forward progress completely stagnates. leave most of your line-editing for after you have a draft. if you notice something that you want to change, leave yourself a note and do the actual changing after you have a draft. if you notice thousands of words in that you totally forgot that one character has a dog, leave yourself a note to go add the dog in later, and continue writing as if the dog has been there the whole time. no one will know that the dog in the first half was added in later.

the amount of STUFF that goes into a long fic can feel pretty overwhelming, so i am big on leaving myself notes and making lists when writing long fic. i know i am not going to remember every thought i have, but i know i will TRY TO remember them and will get totally bogged down. leaving a note or making a list de-bogs me so i can come back to that detail when it's time to deal with it. two essenital lists that i keep in my notes app while i'm working on a writing project are:

a list of ongoing subplots, themes, motifs, and/or mini-arcs that i want to make sure i thread evenly throughout the fic. i do not trust myself to remember these without writing them down. this is super helpful especially if i get stuck, because i can go to the list and ask, okay, what is one of these that i haven't revisited in a while, because that should probably happen next. a HAW example of this is quinn as a side character — at least once i looked at my list and was like, oh, quinn hasn't shown up in a while! i should figure out how to do a scene with him next!

a list of things i will want to review and edit for after i finish the draft. if i stop and edit in the moment i lose momentum; if i don't write the thing down, i might forget about it. so i'll just quickly add it to the list and be able to go back to it when it's editing time! a HAW example of this is me writing on this list "make it more clear that matthew is kind of a mama's boy" and eons later paying close attention to that thread in editing and adding a little more of their relationship to the story.

again this is not a hard and fast rule! sometimes i'll run into an issue with my fic and be like, oh no if i don't go back and fix this then i won't be able to figure out how the story needs to go from here. so obviously in those instances i immediately go and edit that thing! i think it takes practice to be able to tell the difference between "edit now" issues and "edit later" issues but i also think that like 90% of the time it's an edit later issue.

also, always keep a dump doc. (instead of deleting stuff from your draft, cut and paste it into a separate document for safekeeping. this makes it easier to kill your darlings since you are not actually killing them but re-homing them, and can come in handy later.)

one last thing i want to touch on is writer's block or getting stuck in the middle of a draft. with shorter stories, you can sometimes get them out in one or two creative bursts and this can be less of an issue (although obviously not NOT an issue. i am not trying to suggest that people writing shorter fic don't deal with this, lmao. the scale is just different.) writing something long is more about sustained creativity over a long stretch of time, and you are going to have highly productive periods and less productive periods because you're a human being who needs to refill their creative well sometimes. when this happens, try not to panic or despair. sometimes you run into a snarl in your story and you really just need to take a few days to ponder and let the solution come to you. however, if you get stuck and you are getting frustrated trying to figure out what comes next, here are a few things that i find helpful:

get outside and go for a walk or a run. listen to music or a podcast or audiobook. let your brain relax.

talk to a (fannish) friend over the phone/videochat or in person about it, over coffee or dinner or something. sometimes talking about it out loud helps process things in a different way than typing.

figure out what the next big plot point you want to get to is, and then look at where your story is now, and think about what needs to happen to get them to that point. does character A need to trust character B more? devise a trust-building scene. does character A need more self-confidence? think about what kind of scene would help them build confidence.

(this might also involve looking at what you've written already and going, oh, i could build that character beat into that scene from last week! and suddenly everything works better.)

go to your dump doc — is there an abandoned snippet or idea in there that's of more use to you now?

look at your list of ongoing themes and subplots! if there's one you haven't touched in the draft for a while, figure out what's going on there!

you might not get it right on the first try and that's fine. there are scenes that i've completely re-written 4–5 times before they felt right enough for me to move forward. that can be frustrating, obviously, but it doesn't mean you're a bad writer! it takes skill to recognize when a scene isn't working!

okay, i think that's all i've got for now. i really do think that the most important thing with writing long fic is to embrace that it's going to be a long-term project, with ups and downs, productive periods and recharging periods. let the story grow and evolve as you write it. you're not going to get everything right on the first try and that's normal. it is actually so fun to be writing a scene in the back half of your story and suddenly realize you can pull the whole plot together way better by adding two sentences into a scene you wrote three months ago. writing a long fic is not like digging a tunnel, all forward progress to get to the light. it's like building a house and then rearranging the furniture and decor inside until it looks and feels the way you want it to.

i hope that some of this was helpful! good luck with your writing!! 💕

[jihyoruri]

okay I NEED to talk abt this bc richgirlyn is literally me FORREAL 

so uhh not the analysis I thought I’d be doing but I need to. the other one will be later 

ok tw for eds I guess like this is the entire analysis 

disclaimer. this is all my interpretation as well as my experience. I’ve had an issues w eating since 8 (almost twins!) and it’s been literal years. this is just what I think based on what I’VE seen and done as a girl. I know men can have ed’s but I will be talking abt it from my standpoint, which is hashtag girl. everyone’s experience is different.

key: ana=anorexia, ed=eating disorder 

Ive never dealt with real bulimia so take whatever I say with a grain of salt

okay. here’s why richgirlyn having an ed, specifically how she develops ana as she gets older makes a lot of sense (Ive had a fixation on eds and the way they affect the mind for so long..)

i feel like people forget just how genuinely maddening have an eating disorder is.

most of the time in movies they’re there for laughs and portrayed as “oh she just kinda throws up!”  (heathers, the musical) or “oh she wants to be skinny so bad she js doesn’t eat!” (mean girls) (I love both of them btw they’re just what come to mind)

like that is not what they are like AT ALL

eating disorders are some of the most deadly mental illness there is and because it mostly affects teenage girls and women people literally treat it like something not that serious or a joke it’s actually insane how people do not gaf about it

so anyway.

I feel like if children have issues with food they always start out thinking of purging

it makes sense! if you don’t want calories, just get rid of them.

obviously, it doesn’t work that way, and purging doesn’t even actually work well LMAO most of the calories are absorbed unless u throw up like the second food enters ur mouth like it is not foolproof at all.

but to a child it makes sense. the food is gone so you can’t gain weight

and when you’re a kid your gag reflex is way more sensitive so it’s way easier to vomit. when you get older it’s so much harder

bulimia is not really possible long term for idols because of its side effects which are:

erosion of tooth enamel making them appear clear other than white

sunken in, bulging eyes

swollen cheeks

hair loss 

GERD

also for the fact it doesn’t really help much with not absorbing the calories + the fact that it affects the appearance, which idols need to be perfect, + the fact that it affects your voice, which idols need, and also throwing up is difficult 

much more common in idols is anorexia.

so! actually the side effects of ana aren’t as noticeable if you’re not restricting a lot! at about 700-800 calories max a day I didn’t experience hair loss or getting spots on my skin

It was mostly that I was just tired all the time and kind of irritable. i never experienced any physical effects other than losing weight (didn’t lose much muscle bc most of the cals were protein and I worked out everyday)

anyway

richgirlyn definitely likes control.

we can see how control has been taken from her time and time again— mostly by her dad, making all the decisions while she doesn’t get a say, and later, how her members and the people around her treat her.

eds are about control more than looks. It’s the one safety net, the one thing you can always be good at.

when everything around you is falling apart— you can control what you eat. it’s like an accomplishment. look how low I got the number! I’m so good at this! I’m so disciplined!

It’s like. “no one could ever get as low as me”. It makes you weirdly competitive 

and obviously there’s pressure to be skinny as a trainee. It’s what half of your self worth is based on. so if you can control that? and punish yourself (because as we’ve discussed richgirlyn does NAWT like herself that much) while you’re at it? It’s literally gold

she practices and practices, trying to be good enough, the best, and she doesn’t want to eat. eating is kind of like admitting defeat and saying you’re weak and giving in to the need to have food. 

oh and y’all don’t KNOW what mommy issues do with an ed like.

if losing weight makes someone PROUD? oh you KNOW you’re dropping to size 0 trust like it’s actually insane. I can’t even explain the real insanity that comes with an ed it makes you actually crazy. you start becoming afraid of certain numbers because they look bigger even if it’s not how it works. ex: it’s better to eat 98 cal than 50 because 98 feels “smaller” like it’s CRAZY. the state of mind you have when you’re doing that is really seriously not normal like I know it’s obvious but people don’t GET IT. you become very obsessive and cagey over it like if you eat over a certain limit you will literally either break down or get up and go work out until you think you’re back under and the guilt eats you up inside. richgirlyn is SAUR MEEEE FOR REAL

so ANYWAY richgirlyn having an ed makes sense. specifically ana.

she likes control, she wants something to feel proud about (along with her singing and dancing and rapping abilities), it’s something her mom’s PRAISED HER FOR so you already KNOW when her mom is like “wowww you’ve lost weight!” she is like I’m gonna get so much worse.

and also there has to be a part of her that wants someone to worry. i know she hates being seen as weak but I just know minjeong saying smth like “oh I wondered how u stay thin it’s cause u js don’t eat” made her feel so validated because it’s proof that she’s sick and she’s not okay and she’s not making it up.

I’m very sure her being well off has completely fucked with the idea of her being “allowed” to feel negative emotions. like “I’m rich, I shouldn’t be sad” but with any negative emotion.

and I know she was getting better until she got put in le sserafim I just KNOW especially CURRENTLY?

the stress of her members disliking her makes her feel worse abt her self making her want more control and also there’s this very fucked up part of it where it’s like. the less I eat and the less space I take up the more they’ll like me, they won’t hurt me if they think I’m sick and fragile and GODDD that’s so her. she wants to be strong so bad but sometimes.

anyway it’s 1 am this isn’t a great analysis maybe I’ll circle back to this but I needed to talk about it

I love richgirlyn she’s witerwally me 

-🎏

It’s crazy that everything you just said is so correct like completely correct when it comes to richgirl!yn’s problems.

and because this has been going on since she was ten it’s just a normal routine for her all that girl does is try her best to become better, and because she knows that her image is something that her mother actually pays attention about her, so it’s rlly important to her.

even now that she’s an idol she doesn’t talk to her mom but there’s times when her mom will call her and be like “you look a little different.” and then she’s completely back in that cycle

[liskantope]

I have a lot of mixed thoughts nowadays about the "threat to democracy" angle to Trump's potential re-presidency.

On the one hand, Trump has made it abundantly clear, from long before the period of the 2020 campaign season when he began priming his base to expect the election to be rigged against him, that he has a fundamentally antidemocratic mentality, that for him, the concept of "democracy" is what it means to a (not particularly bright) second-grader: a fancy word for something that in the US we say we value all the time but which doesn't mean anything of significance. He has instilled a similar mentality among his cult following, and it's eroding our collective sense of what it means to be the United States and our once robust underlying trust (across political ideologies) in our system of elections. It already culminated in the events of January 2021, which made our country an embarrassment to the world and suggests that more violence and strife is in our future as long as he's on the political scene (even if Harris wins in November, I'm dreading how the Trumpists are going to react).

For me on a gut level, the deepest pang of insult and disgust (among very many!) associated with Trump getting into the White House again comes from the idea that he's unqualified not only in his inability to competently handle object-level issues but on the meta level of having no respect whatsoever for democracy, which to me represents the error-correcting mechanism of supreme importance in any system and the primary feature that, uh, makes America great (and revolutionary, back in the 18th century).

But then, at the same time... let's say he wins again. Where does his disrespect for democracy lead, exactly?

Trump has very deliberately undermined trust among his base in elections, and this time around he'll do better with appointing people in crucial positions who will fix elections for him, but what will this mean, concretely? It seems to me that the worst I can conceive of, without inventing scenarios that go completely off the rails, is that Trump manages to find the energy and knowhow to fix the results of a number of 2026 midterm elections and then get through more legislation in the second half of his term than he would have and maybe this includes an abolishment of term limits so that he could run again and fix the results to win again. This does seem quite bad, but it's also pretty far-fetched that he'd actually be able to do all this (starting with doctoring the visible results of a great enough number of midterm races to make a real difference), and anyway, the damage done would be severely hampered by (1) the fact that he'll be getting into his 80's and seems quite likely to drop dead quite suddenly, and (2) his lack of actual focused ideological beliefs (like what's he actually going to try to accomplish with one or two more terms?) -- he's seeking to get back into the White House basically because campaigning is fun and power and attention feel good and it's a way of screwing around and keeping the law from catching up with him.

Maybe I'm lacking in imagination on this, and I do remember Sam Harris having someone on his podcast who described a very concrete scenario of Trump eroding democracy if back in power that sounded pretty scary the way it was spoken at the time, but I can't remember the details now. Meanwhile, the recent Supreme Court decision about presidential immunity seems murky and up to interpretation and like it would maybe require a pretty contrived situation to allow Trump to get away with something truly dictatorial.

I think it's good that Democrats are reminding voters over and over again how incredibly offensive Trump is with regard to his attitude towards our democratic ideals; it seems that a lot of Americans care about this (rightly) and it will help Trump get defeated. That said, I don't know that it does any favors to throw around such vague and dramatic phrases as "will destroy democracy" though. First of all, what does that mean? Secondly, to the extent that it exaggerates the situation, it sounds hysterical, which is something the other side can always capitalize on. I suspect it has, at least in that Trump himself has noticed on some level that he can use desperate and freaked-out-sounding rhetoric from the other side as fodder for trolling.

It really bothers me the way the anti-Trump side has completely taken the bait in moments like Trump's comments about how he'll be a dictator on day one only. It would be one thing to be upset and offended because Trump's cult has flaunted the democratic process and the perception of it in serious ways and so it's in extremely bad taste for him of all people to be flippant and joking about it. It's another thing to hear the "I'll be a dictator but only on day one" comment and conclude in a serious tone, "See? He just admitted right out that he wants to be a dictator!", as if we shouldn't all have the collective psychological intelligence to understand that speaking that way is a form of mischievous, irreverent, trolling-while-projecting-a-strongman humor that Trump has always specialized in (and is indeed what makes him so refreshing to so many people).

I'm similarly really annoyed at the reactions -- including from such smart and sensible commentators as David Pakman -- to Trump's recent remark to a Christian audience about going out and voting just this one time and then he'll "fix" it so they won't have to vote again. I heard that the first time, and it was fairly obvious to me that there were several more likely explanations as to what he meant in context apart from "I'm going to make myself dictator for life" -- the first one that came to my head was "the main reason why a lot of Christians vote is the abortion issue, and Trump is implying that he'll 'fix it', meaning get an amendment passed banning abortion everywhere". Then I saw in an clip from a Trump interview afterwards (I only saw this because it was played by David Pakman I think, though he professed not to understand any sense of what Trump was saying) that Trump's explanation for the remark had to do with Christians not voting in very large numbers. ("I know you don't always care enough to vote, but do it just this once and then you won't have to again" actually sounds very close to the usual line, popular on the liberal side, about "this is the most important election of our lives", with my own personal addition of "vote to resoundingly defeat MAGA so that maybe the each subsequent election won't continue to be the most important of our lives.") I found out today from Matt Lewis' weekly podcast episode with Bill Scher that the context of Trump being concerned about low Christian voter turnout was in fact plainly acknowledged in earlier parts of Trump's same speech, although Scher says that the oft-cited notion of Christians not voting is a myth. Trump's confident claims that he'll "fix everything" are characteristic of him (and one of his main recognized demagogic rhetorical faults he's ridiculed for!) and a much less athletic explanation for his comment than "I'll change the country so that there won't be any elections", a thing that he's never said or implied.

Of course, if Trump cared a shred about truly assuring people that he has no dictatorial inclinations, he would be careful not to make comments that could even remotely be interpreted as such, and one could argue that in that context his "vote for me now and I'll fix it so that you won't need to again" comment was offensive. I'm not sure whether he maybe even intended that comment to be misinterpreted by his opponents this way so as to rile them up, although I seriously doubt that he was being that clever. I just wish people would stop feeding the troll and walking right into the trap of interpreting as much as possible in terms of "destroying our democracy" and treating every remark Trump says as a way of taking the man much more seriously than he deserves, even while at the same time we could simultaneously call attention to the seriously threatening aspects of Trump and Trumpism.

[livelaughghoul]

George Russell - Personality Tarot Analysis

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only, nothing observed or taken away from this should be considered fact. As a reminder, I know fuck all about Formula 1, I just like fast cars and have a dumb amount of knowledge of astrology and tarot. 

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this one, but I think it’s really balanced. The Swords are interesting to me, and they really tell a story about how someone handles pain, and more importantly, how someone heals from it. 

I get the sense that George is very much portraying himself in a very specific way, he wants to be perceived as something other than how he truly is. There has been a lot of work that has gone into acknowledging how to heal from whatever comes his way. I think a lot of it comes back to the human condition and the myth of sisyphus. We are always going to end up experiencing some pain, it’s inevitable, but it’s how we heal from it that shapes our outward persona, and I think that George may struggle with this more than others. 

Anyways, here is the reading for George. I really am enjoying doing these, and would love to keep doing them! I’m open to almost any request as long as it falls within the guidelines of what I do readings for! 

Outward personality - Three of Swords

Whenever I see the Three of Swords I’m always reminded of how resilient people are, and how much healing needs to be done. The Three of Swords to me is what it looks like, heartache, learning to live with the pain even after healing, and an almost acceptance of the situation and the cards being dealt. 

I’ll be honest, I know nothing about George other than he got disqualified from his recent win, and he looks like an overgrown child (respectfully). I could be completely off here in my thoughts, but to me when I see a Three of Swords in terms of the outward personality, this to me is always indicative of a deeper pain, likely stemming from the self. We are our own worst enemies, but I think that George tends to take this to the next level. Those self deprecating jokes have a truth behind them, the harsh comments made to himself about his own performance probably run through his mind constantly. With that though, there has been a growth and acceptance, a healing and ability to overcome whatever is thrown his way. 

I absolutely see him being a stable and supportive person for others, but he absolutely does not take the time to make himself a priority. He would rather focus on others than himself and make sure that others are happy and feeling confident. 

Inward personality - The Sun 

I’m not going to lie, I absolutely let out a sigh of relief when I saw this for the internal personality. Outward we see a lot of healed pain and resilience, and the inward personality is this assurance, the feelings of accomplishment, and almost relief. 

I think the two complement each other really well. Outward we have a lot of things going on that require a lot of internal strength and work, and inwardly we have the reassurance we need to know that everything actually will be okay. The Sun is what comes after letting the swords heal. I have no doubts that George is able to work through the Swords and find reassurance in himself, he can combat that negative self-talk and find his own relief, it just takes time. It can be difficult when we’re not acknowledging our own pains and instead focusing on helping others. 

[runes-menagerie]

Analysis of Ascendant Astarion Part 2

WARNING!! This post contains spoilers for Act 3 of Balder's Gate 3. Specifically for one of the possible endings of 'The Pale Elf' companion questline along with the entirety of the Astarion romance plotline since I do reference earlier romance cutscenes.

This analysis focuses on the dialogue trees available during the Ascendant Astarion romance scene that happens the next time you rest after completing the ritual. Given the difficulty of the fight against Cazador and his minions, in addition to the fight with the Gur Tribe as you leave, most players are likely to rest before going on to other quests. That is the timeline I'm assuming for the purposes of how long Astarion has had to process the events outlined in my previous analysis post.

I would also like to preface this by saying that I was not expecting the dialogue trees in this scene to be as complex as they are, Most videos you can find will only show you one or two possible paths but there are actually many possible paths and even a few loops that you could theoretically go around indefinitely.

That said it does all boil down to a very simply choice: continue the romance by letting his turn you or break up with him. I started this project thinking that there were very few ways to accomplish the first and many ways the second could happen. What I found when I actually mapped out the trees was the exact opposite. Discovering this changed my perceptions this scene and I hope that shows in my analysis.

One last thing I'd like to address before getting on with the analysis. While researching the character I found the predominate interpretation of Ascendant Astarion is that he's abusive, condescending and manipulative. While I can certainly see how this came about and I will be including it in my analysis. These two interpretations will largely be my focus but I am sure there are others. This is not any sort of end all be all analysis.

Now, without further ado. On to the analysis!

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(start of romance scene)

"I can't believe you let me do that. Killing all those people. A pleasant surprise."

-- As mentioned above I find it likely that this scene takes place within a few hours of the completion of the ritual. Long enough for the high of victory and Ascension to have worn off but not long enough for him to have fully settled into who he is now and go through all the implications of what he's done. This open dialogue indicates that he might be starting to now and is surprised you helped him. The pleasantly part comes in fact that he likely didn't think the player would go to such lengths for him.

(Possible player responses A1)

I wanted what was best for you.

I wasn't about to release seven thousand hungry vampire spawn into the world.

I don't feel great about it honestly.

I wanted a powerful ally, And now I have one.

-- I won't be saying much about the possible player responses since that isn't the focus of this analysis. I will just say to pay attention to the markers such as A1 and A2 since they show how the trees link together and were the best way I could think of to organize what is more like a web than a tree in this format.

A1 -- Prompt 1 -> A2 "You sweet, sweet thing. I want what's best for you too, of course. And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet?"

-- Note that many of the reactions to each set of prompts share dialogue so I will only be analyzing those once unless something about the rest of the prompt changes the interpretation of the common part.

-- This feels similar to his pre-Ascension dialogue in terms of the first few lines. The last two lines however show something is going on in his head. This is where I feel he could be seen as starting to come across as condescending since the use of the name 'pet' is new for him. On the other hand, he does given the player numerous pet names throughout the game and this could simply be a new one. Edit: I was informed that he does use the term pet prior to this as a Spawn as a dialogue option if you visit the brothel. "Sorry pet, I'm not quite comfortable doing this sort of thing just yet." --quote courtesy of @astriel-nya This fact makes me more inclined to think that it is simply a pet name rather than being indicative an abusive mindset.

-- Another thing to consider when interpreting this dialogue is the fact that he's asking what he can do for the player. If we look back at his romance scenes early on then this could be a call back to his "nice, simple plan" of trading his body and affection for the player's protection. If this is in fact a call back then it could indicate he's reverting to past "instinctive" behaviors while figuring out who he is now that he is finally free of Cazador. Not to mention any lingering side effects of the ritual that could be impacting his thinking.

A1 -- Prompt 2 -> A2 "Of course, whatever you need to tell yourself, darling. But make no mistake, I will forever remember what you did for me today. And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet?"

-- Here is another example of a line that could be condescending even with the use of the familiar pet name. He seems dismissive of the player's reasoning and attempts to moralize the choice to pay the price of the ritual.

-- Another take is that Astarion has always been rather morally dubious and this isn't the first time he's questioned the player's morality.

-- I find the second line more telling than the first since it seems to be another call back, this time to his lines after you let him feed from you the first time. These connections to the past seem to indicate that he hasn't completely forgotten who he was before the ritual.

A1 -- Prompt 3 -> A2 "Well, what's done is done. And there's simply no point in dwelling on the past, is there? No, you have given me a glorious new future. And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet?"

-- As with the last response, this one can also be interpreted as condescending and dismissive. Both of the player and of the past. It could be an indication that he no longer cares as much for the player's opinions and thoughts.

-- However, given just what Astarion's past has contained for the last 200 years, I find it difficult to blame him for wanting to focus on the future now that he can finally see one that isn't more of what he's suffered all those years.

A1 -- Prompt 4 -> A2 "Indeed you do. I am so very, very powerful - all thanks to you. And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet?"

-- Given that this response is given to the most cold and calculated of the possible player prompts. It seems logical for him to respond in kind. Now this could be seen as his ego talking and it does fall in line with his speech patterns when talking about himself early game. But that is just the thing. At that point in the game, his goal was to make himself seem useful so you would keep him around. He could be doing the same here, reminding you of just how useful he is so you won't turn on him now that he's changed.

-- In this prompt I believe that common section more strongly supports the second interpretation rather than the first but that is simply my opinion.

(Possible player responses -- A2)

I want to be a vampire like you.

I want you. I want your body.

You can tell me that you've learned something from all this.

I am not your pet.

-- I will admit that when I first encountered this set of player responses, I greatly detested them. Now having mapped out all the dialogue trees, my hatred has lessened but I still don't entirely like the options given to player at this point in the dialogue tree.

-- Also note that this is the point where it becomes less dialogue tree and more dialogue web.

A2 -- Prompt 1 -> A3 "Oh my sweet, there are no vampires like me. And there never will be again. But if you want the gift of eternity, I can give you that. One more bite is all it would take. That's what you want, isn't it? To be mine? Forever?"

-- The first two lines are both a statement of fact since it has been stated in game that no one had ever attempted the Rite of Profane Ascension before Cazador, making Astation the first Vampire Ascendant. Given this fact and how long it took for someone to attempt the ritual it does seem rather unlikely there will ever be another but not impossible.

-- That said, it's also possible that his ego is talking here as well since he is the first to achieve such a thing and he is more powerful than he was, both lore wise and in game mechanics. However, the second line can be taken as more than a simple statement of fact. It could be interpreted as him stating an intention to prevent the ritual from being repeated, either to prevent competitors or to prevent 7000 more souls from being sacrificed again. It could also be an indication of his intent never to turn the player into a true vampire but to keep them a spawn, however since we have no way of knowing if the spawn of the Vampire Ascendant would also become a Vampire Ascendant, this may be a mote point.

-- As for the rest of his words this could either be taken as him trying to manipulate you into becoming his slave and putting yourself under his control. Or it could be him acknowledging the differences in your lifespans and being afraid to lose the player since even if the player is one of the Elf variants they wouldn't live even a fraction of his lifespan. As in most vampire romance stories, this could be seen as gesture of love rather than one intended to enslave.

A2 -- Prompt 2 -> A3 "You've earned it. But don't you want more -- don't you want eternity? One more bite is all it would take? That's what you want, isn't it? To be mine? Forever?"

-- This is in response to the option I dislike the most so I apologize if that influences my analysis. That said I do find it telling how he says that the player has 'earned' the ability to sleep with him. And then he quickly offers to turn the player.

-- I will be honest that I struggle to find an abusive interpretation for this one other than what was mentioned above with the offer to become a vampire being a manipulation tactic to control the player.

-- The interpretation I find more likely in this case is that the offer to turn the player is a distraction from the idea of sex. Which given that in order to get this far in the romance the player would have already agreed to hold off on sex until he was ready, seems plausible.

-- Note that there is another way to get this dialogue but again, it is the player requesting sex, not him offering or asking for it. Now it is possible that with the power boost he gets from Ascension that he feels safe enough to explore sex now since it's possible he could overpower the player or at least escape. It could also be another case of him reverting to his early game thinking. Giving his body so the player will accept being turned and not leave him. Or giving his body as a method of tricking the player into becoming his slave.

-- This also brings to mind the scene where he tells you he doesn't want sex, specifically that if you insist on it he will then break up with you after saying that he didn't know how to tell the player no. I wonder if something similar might be the case here, thus the distraction of offering to turn the player rather than saying no outright.

A2 -- Prompt 3 -> B1 "Truly? What was I supposed to learn from this?"

-- He does have a point here, until I read the possible player responses to this I wasn't fully sure what I would expect him to learn from recent events either. I feel his confusion and defensiveness is justified here.

A2 -- Prompt 4 -> C1 "Oh don't be such a humorless little wretch - It's nothing but a joke."

-- This reaction seems to support the interpretation of the 'pet' name not just being a new way to refer to the player but a test to see if the player would be open to submitting. One that he isn't happy the player rejected.

-- However he does only call you pet the one time in this entire scene regardless of if you call him on it or not. This could mean that he is more reacting to being called out than the fact that you don't accept the name. Or he could simply be deciding not to push his luck with you at this time since his primary goal seems to be getting the player to agree to become a vampire.

(Possible player responses from Prompt 3 -- B1)

I hoped you'd learn to love me.

Not to become Cazador yourself.

That sex and relationships aren't about power over someone else.

-- I thought that the 2nd and 3rd responses would be breakup routes when I was mapping this out and was rather surprised to find I was wrong. This is where my opinion on this scene began to change.

B1 -- bullet 1 -> B3 "Who's to say I don't? I'm willing to share all of this with you. What's that if not love? Of course if that's not enough - if you need something more - perhaps this isn't for you. So. What's it to be, darling? Is this it?"

-- Given Astarion's past, sharing power like this would be a significant gesture for him since he has had all power stripped from him before and had to claw his way up to where he is now. That said, it does indicate that he might be viewing relationships as transactions as he did near the start of the game. The next line both supports this idea and brings it into question depending on the interpretation. It could either be interpreted as a manipulation or as him genuinely asking if he's enough for the player.

-- Lastly he asks what the player wants rather than assuming the relationship is over. Once more this could be a show of caring in order to manipulate the player's emotions. Or it be him giving the player the choice he didn't have. Since let's not forget that he was turned against his will. His unwillingness to forcibly turn the player is rather telling I feel no matter how the rest of this words are interpreted.

B1 -- bullet 2 -> B2 "Don't you ever compare me to him! Never! How dare you stand there and judge me. As if you know the first thing. Your hands are as bloody as mine, darling. Why would you go along with any of this just to pretend you're innocent now?"

-- Even as pissed off at the player as he is here, this still leads to a prompt that gives the option to save the relationship. Given that Spawn Astarion doesn't react this way to mentions of Cazador I find this response rather interesting.

-- One possible interpretation is that Astarion secretly fears that he will become just like Cazador. That he will hurt those around him, especially the player. We've seen in the Love Test earlier in the game that he doesn't like his fears being brought to light which seems to support this interpretation.

-- Another interpretation is that he does actually plan to be like Cazador to some extent, either consciously or unconsciously, and he doesn't want you thinking about that otherwise you might walk away from him before he can make you his spawn.

-- The last few lines seem to be him once more questioning the player's morals while reminding you that he would have never been able to Ascend without someone's help. With this in mind his willingness to keep giving you chances to save the relationship might be an acknowledgement of this fact. He literally owes everything to the player and he knows it.

B1 -- bullet 3 -> B2 "Please, everything is about power. Sex, relationships, violence - They're all just different forms of control. And now you think you can stand there and tell me how to feel? Because - what? Because you care? Your hands are as bloody as mine, darling. Why would you go along with any of this just to pretend you're innocent now?"

-- This seems to support the theory that he's reverting back to his early game thinking in terms of how he views relationships. As stated in the believing, it isn't surprising that he would fall back onto familiar thought patterns while processing and adapting to his new power and freedom.

-- He could be lashing out because he's aware of this fact but he doesn't know how else to handle what's going on in his head. He could also be upset that the player is so easily seeing through his manipulation.

(possible player responses from bullets 2 and 3 above B2)

I wanted you to feel safe.

Because I cared! But maybe now I see how wrong I was!

I did it for you, you piece of shit.

-- Even though all of these responses gain his disapproval, none outright end the romance at this stage. Even the last two don't and I thought they would when I was making this.

B2 -- All prompts "It seems I misjudged you. I thought we might have a future together - even an eternity - But perhaps you're not worthy. So. What's it to be, darling? Is this it?"

-- This is very similar to how he responds to the first prompt in the response list before this one. (B1 -- bullet 1) He asks the player what they was want rather than making a demand or trying to focus it. As mentioned before there is a chance that Ascendant Astarion could overpower the player, especially if this does in fact take place right after the Cazador/Gur fight when everyone it hurt/tired except perhaps him, which would give him the best chance of doing so.

-- One interpretation is that even if his thinking has changed with Ascension, he's still unwilling to put the player through what he was when he was turned. It has to be the player's choice to become his spawn.

-- Another interpretation that is similar to the first but distinctly different is that he wants it to be the player's choice so that they are less likely to scheme against him as he did against Cazador. He doesn't want to create an enemy with the potential to actually harm him one day after all since from reading Vellioth's scroll we know that it is in fact possible for a spawn to kill their master without there being a Mindfalyer tadpole involved.

(Possible player response to all of the above B3)

I hope we can work things out and stay together.

I still care for you, but it can't be like this.

You're a hypocrite, and I don't want to be with you.

I don't want to look at you again. Get out of my camp.

-- Only bullet 1 will continue the romance so that response is the only one that will be analyzed in this post. The breakup responses will be analyzed in a later post.

B3 -- bullet 1 -> A4 "Of course we can. You're the one I want - the one that I love. And you could be so much more, if you want it. One little bite and you could be mine forever. My dark consort. My right hand. My most beloved spawn."

-- The fact that he is still willing to work things out with the player could be interpreted as him still hoping to manipulate and control the player. Or we could be seeing some of his genuine emotions beneath the act he's trying to put on as he falls back into his old thought patterns. This feels like something he would have said pre-Ascension which may indicate that he hasn't completely changed but it merely reverting back to old behaviors as stated before and this is him breaking from that due to thinking you might actually leave him.

-- The last set of lines are repeated a great deal in the A3 responses so I will analyze there since it feels like it makes more sense.

(Posssible player responses C1)

It doesn't feel like a joke. It feels like you mean it.

You haven't learned anything have you?

All right. But if your offer is still open, I want to be a vampire. Just like you.

Then stop joking around and let's sleep together.

-- This is part of the 'pet' comment branch, if that helps with navigation.

C1 -- Prompt 1 -> A3 "Life's a joke, dear, but now we're the ones laughing. But if you want the gift of eternity, I can give you that. One more bite is all it would take. That's what you want, isn't it? To be mine? Forever?"

-- This feels both like him backtracking but also makes me think of when he's trying to justify him drinking the blood of your enemies right after revealing what he is to the player early game. I think the reason for that is in both situations he trying to laugh off a rather serious matter.

-- That aside he does seem to be dismissing the player's feelings on the matter. And yet he doesn't use the word 'pet again'. Even during the sex scene when a perfect chance for it comes up.

-- This dialogue branch seems to be the one with the most support for the interpretation of Ascendant Astarion as abusive, condescending, and manipulative. I don't think it should be dismissed because of that but I do think it should be noted that it is only one possible dialogue branch and that is is possible to go through the scene without ever encountering any of these responses.

C1 -- Prompt 2 -> A2 Prompt 3

C1 -- Prompt 3 -> A2 Prompt 1

C1 -- Prompt 4 -> A2 Prompt 2

-- The fact that all other prompt responses lead back to the second set of choices feels rather significant to me as well. This could support the interpretation that there is a darker motive behind all of his dialogue in this scene. Or it could indicate that he's simply testing to see where the line is with the player now that he's changed so much. It's also possible that the ritual changed his thinking just as he states it has changed his blood in the post Ascension scene.

(Possible player responses A3)

Yes, that's all I want.

So what would I be? A vampire? Or your spawn?

What if I don't want forever?

I wanted a good time, that's all.

I wanted you to be free. It seems you never will be.

-- All the dialogue options above will eventually lead here unless a breakup option is chosen. Of these, only the last one will lead to a breakup option.

A3 -- Prompt 1 -> A5 "Then it's everything you shall receive. I will miss this warm flesh mind you. Shall we have one last night together before you join me in immortality? One for the road, so to speak."

-- Here he is the one offering sex, however this line can come after the player has asked for it or if the player I was going to analyze the implications of each but I found as I was writing it that there really isn't much of a difference other than whether or not he's actually interested in sex or merely doing it for the player's benefit.

-- This offer could be him resigning himself to going through with it as the price of getting to keep the player. He could also be ready for sex and the player just happened to ask for it before he could offer, if that route was taken. It could also be a manipulation, a way to sweeten the deal to ensure that the player goes through with the turning. It could also be exactly as he said, that he'll miss the player's warmth and wants to feel it one more time before it's gone forever.

-- To sum up. This could be a manipulation. It could be fondness for the player prompting him to spend one more night with you.

A3 -- Prompt 2 -> A4 "You wouldn't be just some spawn -- you're far more than that to me. My dark consort. My right hand. My most beloved spawn."

-- This is in response to a very valid question from the player. The answer is rather poetic, as many of his early game words are when he's trying to seduce the play.

-- With that thought in mind he could be trying to manipulate and seduce the player into giving in to him and becoming his spawn so he has complete power over you.

-- He could also be honestly trying to reassure the player that even as his spawn, he won't abuse you but will treat you as a partner. Not quite an equal perhaps but not a victim either.

A3 -- Prompt 3 -> A4 "What's not to want? We could be together for all time. My dark consort. My right hand. My most beloved spawn."

-- Given his own lack of choice in becoming a vampire and just how many people in the game seem to be seeking ways to extend their own lifespans, it's really not a surprise why he would question why you don't want to live longer.

-- He could also be questioning if he's not enough for you even now that he's become the Vampire Ascendant. At the same time this could be another attempt at manipulation.

A3 -- Prompt 4 -> A3 "What do you mean? Think of the things I can offer you! You're not going to say no to that, surely?

-- I was surprised this one didn't lead straight to a breakup but it doesn't. Which I feel reinforces the interpretation that regardless of his reasoning, he does want to keep you in his life.

-- But to explore that reasoning, one way this response can be interpreted is him asking if he is not enough for you. If everything he has to offer you now and everything he is, isn't enough.

-- In the same vein, he could be asking if you're really going to turn down all the power that he strove so hard to get. This would explain why he seems so offended by the idea that you would turn him down.

A3 -- Prompt 5 -> B2 All prompts (minus 1 aka breakup route)

-- This is a break up route and as such will be analyzed in another post. But I do think it's significant that it took this long to get to another break up route in comparison to how many ways there are to continue the romance.

(possible player responses A4)

Yes, that's all I want.

Spawn? I want to be a true vampire.

A beloved slave is still a slave.

After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

-- No really anything to say about this set of prompts other than that Astarion is surprisingly patient considering all the questions you could be asking him. Granted they are rather reasonable and understandable questions given the situation.

A4 -- Prompt 1 -> A3 Prompt 1

A4 -- Prompt 2 -> A3 Prompt 2

-- Unsurprisingly these two link back up to other parts of the dialogue tree.

A4 -- Prompt 3 -> D1 "Oh don't be like that, I'd never want to control you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want. We could be together for eternity, ruling this world side by side. We could have it all."

-- The first part of this is pretty straight forwards, he's either lying or he's not. On one hand he knows what's like to be a spawn, to be controlled, to have his body obey against his will. It seems unlikely he would inflict that on someone he cares about and the fact is that within the game he doesn't actually try unless you count him forbidding you from dying at one point. On the other hand, if his feeling for the player have changed then he might be lying and simply had no need to control you during the gameplay. Or he was subtle enough about it that you don't notice it.

-- As for his confession of love, the phrasing of it is closer to that of his first confession when he's telling you all his favorite lines. This could be interpreted as a sign his feelings for the player have changed. It could also be interpreted as him being more theatrical about it simply because, as stated previously, he's defaulted back to familiar speech patterns.

-- Once more he's making an offer to the player, to get them to agree to be his spawn. These continued offers could be him trying to sweeten or remind you of the deal being offered in order to tempt you into giving in to him. Or they could be him expressing his hopes. He hopes for a future with you, for an eternity of you by his side.

-- The ruling comment is a potential red flag but given that he has made comments like that the entire game I don't feel it's out of character or sign that his thinking has changed. He doesn't voice any particular plans for it in this scene however.

A4 -- Prompt 4 -> D1 "Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want. We could be together for eternity, ruling this world side by side. We could have it all."

-- This one is very similar to the previous one and can be interpreted with the same thought processes in my opinion. That said, I do find the difference in wording between the two rather interesting. In the previous one he claims he doesn't want to control you and in this one that he doesn't want to hurt you. This difference is rather curious.

-- It could be that he doesn't think of controlling the player as hurting you as long as he doesn't actually give you a command that would hurt you or cause you to get hurt. Or the opposite could be true and he does think controlling the player would hurt you. Either interpretation has interesting connotations as does this difference in phrasing.

(Possible player responses D1)

That does sound appealing...

Sounds like you'd have it all.

No, this isn't what I want.

-- Another chance to break up here. As with the others, the player has to voice a direct refusal for him to accept it. On one hand that could be seen as a red flag and him not taking no for an answer. On the other hand, with the more ambiguous responses he doesn't assume consent or refusal but asks for clarification of the player's desires. How he reacts to being rejected with be covered in another post as stated previously but I think it's significant to note that he didn't forcibly turn the player upon rejection.

D1 -- bullet 1 -> A5 "I knew you'd come around. Shall we have one last night together before you join me in immortality? One for the road, so to speak."

-- The second part of this has been covered already. As for the first part. This could be interpreted as being rather condescending with him being confident that he could manipulate you into giving into him. It could also be interpreted as him simply knowing the player well and being confident that if he was patient and laid everything out that you would agree to stay with him. It could also be a false show of confidence, a show he often puts on throughout the game with his vulnerable side only coming out sometimes.

D1 -- bullet 2 -> D1 "I already have everything. Except you by my side. Are you ready to join me? To accept this immortal gift?"

-- He's not wrong here. He has everything he's stated he wanted from the beginning. Cazador is dead and Astarion has the power to theoretically do whatever he wants to. The fact that he doesn't assume he has you, that he's doing all this to get your consent when he could theoretically force you feels significant. As does the fact that he wants you by his side, rather than going his own way as he likely intended before his 'nice, simple plan fell apart.'

D1 -- bullet 3 -> B2 All prompts (minus 1 aka breakup route)

-- A clear break up route unsurprisingly.

(possible player responses A5)

Please, yes.

We shall not. I just need you to bite me.

Huh. I forgot I'd be cold to the touch once I changed...

-- No breakup option at this point but that's not terribly surprising.

A5 -- Prompt 1 -> Sex scene "Then come with me, my love, and live your final night."

-- This leads directly to the sex scene you can get from this interaction, which has it's own analysis. As for this response, he's gotten what he wants. Your consent. But even so he's willing to draw out turning you by having sex first either as part of the deal or because he wants to be with you one last time while you're still technically alive.

A5 -- Prompt 2 -> Post sex scene "Impatient are we? Well who am I to deny you?

-- As expected, this skips the sex scene and goes straight to the turning scene. He doesn't fight this which could mean he wasn't ready and or interested in sex. Or it could mean that he's placing the player's wishes ahead of his own.

A5 -- Prompt 3 -> E1 "Not having second thoughts, are we?"

-- Once more checking for consent from the player when you voice would could be seen as doubts. Whether he's being manipulative or honest during this entire conversation tree, your consent clearly matters to him when it comes to being turned.

(Possible player responses E1)

No, let's do this.

I don't want this after all.

-- A final check for consent. You can either give it or break up with him.

E1 -- bullet 1 -> A5 Prompt 1

E1 -- bullet 2 -> B2 All prompts (minus 1 aka breakup route)

-- Nothing new to say here.

(sex scene)

-- I'm not going to recap the sex scene here. There are plenty of videos of it out there. That said, I do find the parallels between this sex scene and the first one you get with him rather interesting. In both scenes the focus seems to be on the player, this more clear in this scene since it is longer but even in the first one he talks about what the player wants and only vaguely about his own desires. Now this could be do to his history with seducing for Cazador. But I find it interesting that the same is true of this scene.

-- This could be because he's acting on instinct as stated previously. He could also be trying to make the player's last night alive particularly good. It's also possible given his history that he doesn't remember how to take pleasure for himself and so it just doing what he knows. It could also be about control, in this case controlling how much pleasure the player feels during this scene.

(Post sex scene)

"On your knees, darling."

-- Here we have another example of a response that could be read as condescending and abusive. Another interpretation of it is the ritual of it. We're not told very much about vampire culture by the game even we find documents that talk about various rituals. It's possible that there's a significance here we're ignorant of. It's also possible he's testing to see if you'll obey him if he asks for something like when you aren't forced to obey him.

(Possible player responses A6)

Kneel.

(Wis check) Explore his mind - see what he really thinks about you.

No.

Kick him in the balls.

-- The last one is obviously a break up prompt but the third one isn't.

A6 -- Prompt 1 -> A7 "Tonight, I shall drink every drop of your blood. Own your body, kill your mind. It will only hurt a bit, the pleasure will be far greater than the pain."

-- Technically these are statements of fact. He has to drain you to turn you. It's also true that he will own your body once the player is his spawn since if he did give a command then your body would follow it whether you wanted to or not. Technically your mind would die when he drains you since you would be dead then undead.

-- As for the pleasure being greater than the pain. This could be a lie to comfort or manipulate the player into not fighting him at this point. He could also be telling the truth, he only gives a brief description of how he was turned so we don't know how it actually feels. Edit: I couldn't accurately remember how he described being turned but @astriel-nya once more provided me with a quote. "I remember how it hurt when I turned to a vampire. My body writhed and warped while I was utterly helpless, the grip of death owned my heart as it beat its last." This could support either side but given the narration of the turning scene and that of the first time he bites the player, I find it likely that he at least hopes that his words will be true for the player.

A6 -- Prompt 2 ->A6 Successful check *He will always see you as degrading yourself if you continue to be with him. But perhaps you wish to degrade yourself. And he knows it.* Failed check "Bad boy/girl." or "Tut tut. Very bad."

-- It's very easy to interpret the successful check dialogue as confirmation that Astarion has become or will become abusive towards the player. Just as easy is a more kinky interpretation since it would not at all surprise me if he were interested in such games as long as he wasn't the one being degraded.

-- There is another interpretation however. Rather than degrading as in being put down, the player is lowering themselves by staying with Astarion when they could do better. With him knowing you want this even though there are others who are more worthy of you.

-- For the failed check, I can't entirely blame him for scolding you for trying to read his mind without permission. That said the phrasing is rather condescending and while he doesn't use 'pet' the words do have similar connotations. On the other hand he could simply be being playful and reassuring you that he isn't mad you trying to read his mind.

A6 -- Prompt 3 -> F1 "Yes."

-- Here he rejects the player setting a boundary by refusing to kneel. This could be interpreted as a red flag for certain. This is also one of the few times he doesn't go along with the player's wishes which implies there's something significant about you agreeing to kneel. Despite his words he doesn't force the player to kneel, indicating he does still care about consent.

A6 -- Prompt 4 -> Breakup route + leaves party "Argh! How DARE you! To hells with you, I'm done. I hope you rot."

-- Not terribly surprising that kicking him leads to a break up. I was rather shocked that he left the party however since he doesn't with the other break up options unless you actually kick him out. I can't exactly blame him however.

(Possible player responses F1)

No.

Give in and kneel.

F1 -- bullet 1 -> Breakup route "You're missing the chance of a lifetime. You'll never have another like me. I won't take me until the end of time to find another like you."

-- The fact that he breaks up with you if you continue to refuse to kneel supports the idea that there is something significant about you consenting to kneel before he turns you. It could simply be his own desires and ego. Or it could be something required for the process. it could also be him needing to be in a position of certain control since it wouldn't surprise me if turning the player is mildly triggering for him given his own experience being turned.

F1 -- bullet 2 -> A6 prompt 1

-- Nothing new to add here since kneeling is required to continue the scene.

(Possible player responses A7)

Be gentle... if you can.

Oh come on. Let it hurt.

Both lead to "You have given me everything. Thank you."

-- Whichever option you choose he obeys. If you ask for gentle then he gives you kisses and treats you gently. If you ask for it to hurt then he grabs your neck and is rough with you. The fact that he does listen can be interpreted as him caring about your wishes to some extent or at least he wants you to think he still does.

(turning scene)

-- Again, not giving the play by play since there are plenty of videos.

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Final analysis

Having gone through this entire thing I found that there was evidence within the dialogue to support the abusive interpretations of Ascendant Astarion and I found evidence to support a non-abusive interpretation. I believe both are equally valid, especially given the fact that this event happens so close to the end game, even if done as soon as possible, so we don't really get to see more than a few scenes to show us who he becomes post Ascension.

I do feel that the fact that the player has to explicitly tell him 'no' to end the romance and that he asks for a clear yes or no in response to all of the more ambiguous prompts to be rather significant. It doesn't easily fit with an abusive interpretation and yet it's also something that many players won't realize unless they go through all the dialogue options with save scumming as I did. Especially since when I was making this post I couldn't find any videos that actually went through all the possible dialogue trees. I found some that got most of them but no complete ones and none that really conveyed how complex the dialogue trees are.

I feel that this is part of why the abusive interpretation is so prevalent. It's the one that comes across the most easily on a casual playthrough. Diving deep into the dialogue however reveals that it isn't the only possible interpretation since aside from a few obvious red flags most of it is more ambiguous.

And so, to sum up my non-abusive interpretation. I believe that after the trauma of dealing not only with being in Cazador's palace - a place that is no doubt triggering for him - then being trapped in the ritual not knowing if he would make it, then fighting Cazador, and finally Ascending, that he would largely be running on instinct once the high of victory and Ascending as worn off. We see evidence for this in how worn out he is if you choose not to Ascend him since it's reasonable to assume that Ascendant Astarion would be just as tired once the high wears off. In this more instinctive mindset he seeks to secure the player's loyalty just as he did in the early stages of the game. To that end he makes the offer to turn the player and will even agree to sex if the player asks and offer it if they don't. He wants the player by his side so he's patient with all the questions the player might ask and checks to make sure he's understanding the player's wishes if something is too ambiguous. If the time comes for sex then his focus is on the player, both because it's what his instincts are telling him and because he wants this last night to be enjoyable for the player. Finally when it comes time to turn the player he makes his only demand, that they kneel. There could be ritual reasons for this, or he could simply need to be in a position of clear control to keep the memories of his own turning at bay. Regardless of reason, this is important to him.

Final thoughts.

While I do find the abusive interpretation Ascendant Astarion interesting, I personally find the non-abusive interpretation more intriguing from a role-play and psychology standpoint. That said, I'm sure there are other interpretations out there that are just as valid. This is simply my personal take on things.

If I missed anything or if you want to talk about any part of this then be sure to let me know. Hate will be laughed at but I'd love to have a discussion about all of this and hear other veiwpoints.

[sonnenreich]

a collection of muse headcanon questions inspired by the major arcana of the tarot  /  send the corresponding number(s) for headcanons surrounding the given prompts !

asked by my beloved @nepnthc :

00.  the fool  :  what are your muse’s thoughts on new beginnings ? does it frighten them or excite them ?

⸻ excites him, most definitely. it's a natural thing and yet holds a lot of meaning for him. most witch's wheel festivities are celebrating new beginnings or the start of a new cycle. it's important, let go of old vices, perhaps even the past. not like he's good at that, though.

09.  the hermit  :  how introspective is your muse ? how often do they self - reflect ?

⸻ i believe he's pretty good at reflecting his own thoughts, feelings and motivations, he's just not that good at altering them. in a way he has come to terms with how he is and how beneficial it is to achieve his goals. he never regrets nor does he do anything without considering all consequences.

12.  the hanged man  :  how open is your muse to new opportunities ? do they constantly look for them or do they simply take whatever comes their way ?

⸻ both, actually. to stagnate in his profession would be a death sentence to his goals, so he always looks for a new way to get closer, but he also greatly enjoys lucky circumstances and beneficial revelations.

my love @vasted asks :

16. the tower :  what event drastically changed your muse’s life ? do they resent that event or are they glad of it ? ⛅️

⸻ the possibility of losing his family and all that he deemed joyous had made him desperate. to save them, he had to sacrifice a part of himself. losing all regardless does something to you, especially when people who you love suddenly turn their back on you. he isn't glad in a sense that he wouldn't want it any other way, but it has helped to understand that love is just a term and loyalty just a concept.

wondered by my adored @gottesgrauen :

18.  the moon  :  what does your muse long for ? is it a realistic desire ? (obviously<3)

⸻ he longs for so much that he has lost sight of most of it a long time ago. a lot is just something lurking in the back, a longing he passively feeds, physically and mentally. he is still at the beginning of his journey, but the further he'll get, the more achievable it's going to be. the question is, will it be satisfying? will it be worth it? will it change anything except himself?

the wonderful @shevampyre cares to know:

21.  the world  :  is there one thing in life that your muse must accomplish ? what will they do when they complete that goal ?

⸻ that's something hard to answer! he'll achieve his goal some day, he's too stubborn not to, but it is uncertain to what extent. and once he does, I don't think he'll stop there. there's more to everything.

14.  temperance  :  does your muse make plans ? how impulsive are they ? has this gotten them into good / bad situations and how have they dealt with them?

⸻ half-half, actually. he has major goals, less minor ones. which means he has a plan for the overall goal, but all in between is a series of coincidences. he's not impulsive at all, as that is too dangerous and risky. he has to watch his steps. whatever he shares he shares with caution. he had been different as a teenager, but he learned from his mistakes, as well as his strengths and weaknesses.

19.  the sun  :  in general, how optimistic is your muse ? does your muse appreciate the small things in life ?

⸻ he's a total optimistic. all his life everything went his way (just 1 exception), he knows how to convince people and he does what he deems necessary. setbacks are just another opportunity. zeev has been raised in touch with nature, he had been loved most of his life. mundane and simple things have filled his days, he knows how to enjoy them, he even needs to, just to keep himself grounded.

blooming with interest by @vikasgarden :

04.  the emperor  :  how much respect does your muse have for authority ? why is this ?

⸻ depends on what kind of authority. he isn't disrespectful, that's just not his nature, but he doesn't care much about what e.g. the police would have to say. his mother though had been highly respected. now though? why listen to anyone who got no say in his matters? why listen to anyone who doesn't know what he knows? "authorities" have threatened his existence — and he made them forget. so who's the winner?

05.  the hierophant  :  what are your muse’s morals / ethics ? do they follow their moral code strictly ?

⸻ as a member of the solar coven you are considered a good witch, your intentions pure, you exist to help; humans, nature and all wildlife. you know pain and hurt, but instead of indulging in hatred and revenge, you work with harmony, self-love and seek help from others. you aren't one to harm. zeev isn't following most of those teachings anymore.

13.  death  :  is there anything in your muse’s life that they should be letting go of ?

⸻ his grudge probably, it has turned rather passive. like an itch of unknown origin. he seeks knowledge and wants his family to see their fault, but he's not really aware of what that actually means and causes in the long run.