#what do you mean there’s only 80 fics on their tag???

[zepskies]

Heyo! So not sure how youd even write this from a story perspective— maybe headcanons r easier idk— but! What would Current SB/Ben say to his younger self (your choice on age) about his future? Whether it be from an introspective place, him talking fondly about his future family, etc — all you boo👍 Hope youre doing well!

Hey there! Thanks, I'm doing well and hope you are too!

Strictly speaking on story/fic requests, I'm only doing full fic requests on my Patreon, but occasionally I'll be able to do a short imagine/HC when something strikes me. For example, you pose a really interesting question. I think the answer would depend on Soldier Boy/Ben's level of growth/character development.

Like, if we're talking about Break Me Down version of Ben, for example, I've actually thought about this a bit before! If he had the opportunity to talk to his younger self, let's say in the 80s (shortly before Nicaragua):

What (BMD) Soldier Boy/Ben Would Say to His Younger Self

"You just think you've got it all figured out, don't you?" Ben says, crossing his arms at his younger counterpart.

"What? I'm at the top of my game?" Soldier Boy says. He smokes a joint, blowing up smoke casually and arrogantly.

Ben chuckles. "That's what you think."

Soldier Boy frowns. "The whole fucking world worships me. Whatever I want, I get. Women, picture deals, a fucking statue in front of Vought tower-- Hell, I've got hit after hit record on the top of the charts, for fuck's sake."

Ben just shakes his head. His rueful smile irks the other guy, but not as much as what he says next.

"And you're bored," Ben says. "You've got it all... But nothing's ever good enough, right?"

Soldier Boy's lips purse, but he doesn't have an answer. Not one he's willing to voice. Ben nods in understanding.

"It's all right. One day you'll find it," he says.

Soldier Boy frowns, his brows furrowing. "What do you mean, find it?"

Ben doesn't want to give away the punchline. This guy hasn't earned it yet. Not the way Ben knows he'll need to. Otherwise, he'll never understand what it all meant. What all those years struggling alone in the dark, and what betrayal, loneliness, and pain were worth.

No, he won't give it all away. But he'll give him this, at least.

"It's the simplest thing in the world," Ben says. "You're gonna meet a woman."

Granted, the way he met you was anything but simple. The way Ben sees it now, though, it is simple.

Soldier Boy's frown fades, his face turning wry. "A woman, huh? Think I've got plenty of those. Any time, any place, any way I want."

"Not this one," Ben says. He can't help a small, reserved smile when he thinks of you. "Matter of fact, she's going to test your last ever-fucking nerve, every day of your life...but you're not gonna be the same."

Ben thinks about the life he's built with you. He thinks about his daughter, Lila, and his son on the way. Ben pictures the house in his mind--Christmases, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, along with missions gone awry, and the fights and arguments that reverberated on those walls. Moments where his temper got the best of him, or your stubbornness made you dig your heels in. All of it is worth it.

"Then one day, you're going to wake up and realize that you've got everything you need," Ben says.

Soldier Boy seems to take that in. He's still skeptical, but maybe secretly interested in the bright future lying in wait behind his older self's eyes, even though he doesn't want to show it.

"Yeah? And then what?" Soldier Boy asks, in a tone that scoffs, but Ben sees that he's serious too, and he's listening. He knows it as well as he knows himself.

Ben levels a pointed finger at him.

"All you need to do, is protect it."

AN: It's like the old Spiderman meme where he's pointing at himself. lol 💚

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Break Me Down Masterlist

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BMD Tag List:

(I've paired this down from the old list that seemed to have a lot of people/blogs that are no longer active.)

@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26

@nancymcl @emily-winchester @sl33pylilbunny @chernayawidow @spnfamily-j2

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@jacklesbrainworms @adoringanakin @deanwanddamons @globetrotter28 @mrsjenniferwinchester

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@rizlowwritessortof @chevroletdean @spnwoman @syrma-sensei @muhahaha303

@123passwort @lyarr24 @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas

@jessjad @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2 @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67

@deansbbyx @midnightmadwoman @ladysparkles78 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @tmb510

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@everything-is-all-clear @suckitands33 @cookiechipdough @trashmoutth @riteofpassage77

@jc-winchester @mxltifxnd0m @bleuatlas

[yumiayumu]

the downside of liking a new ship that’s only recently getting attention is the lack of fanfics (╥﹏╥)

[curiositysavesthecat]

Sent to our inbox by the submitter: ❝there's a post going around in which the OP said they only read fics with a "1 kudo per 10 hits" to "make sure it is good" and asked other fanfic readers how they picked fics to read. the post was slightly controversial because 1/10 was unrealistic considering repeat readers, multichapter fics, etc altering the number in favour of more hits yet less kudos but most importantly, because it affected small authors.❞

More from the submitter: ❝numbers in percentages because some author have 1 fic and others have over 100❞

Admin's comment: Sorry, but the "1 kudo per 10 hits" rule is just dumb. As a writer and a reader, some of the most well and professionally written fics I've read don't even pass this so-called "rule". It's faulted and it's NOT a good way to determine if a fic is good at all. Because a fic that is centered around popular fandom or ship WILL almost certainly be guaranteed to have lots of kudos, because of how popular the characters are; sure, fics with lots of kudos can be good, but the number of kudos alone is not enough to determine if it's "good". Especially because lots of readers tend to NOT leave kudos even if they like the fics. And some readers tend to leave kudos on every fic they read, whether or not they actually like them. The "rule" will only discourage writers from writing and making good fics, so it's just outright harmful.

If you want to know if a fic is good or not, read the summary of the work and see if you like the writer's writing style (the summary is the most important factor for me when choosing something to read, because it tells the writing style the writer has and what the entirety of the fic will be like). You can also read the tags and see if those tags grab your attention.

I have never looked at the number of kudos a fic has when choosing something to read, and instead I only pay attention to tags and summary, and that's how I end up reading so many good fics.

— Admin 1

Edit: as people have pointed out, hits will go up if your readers love your fics enough to come back and re-read them; their views will be counted as more hits. But AO3 only allows a user to leave kudos only once. So it’s almost entirely impossible for most fics to pass this “test”, just another fault the test has.

I mean… according to the logic of the rule itself, if your readers like your works so much they come back to reread them, they will only increase the gap between hits and kudos, and therefore it’ll only mean your fics are “not good” because people read them more than once.

You see how harmful and unreliable this rule is?

This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[faeriekit]

I haven't spent a day without reading after I discovered ffn in high school.*

I genuinely don't have any perspective a life looks like without reading. I used to smuggle library books into middle school math classes, and get all four of them confiscated, one at a time. In the second grade, I smuggled books out onto the playground so I could read longer. In between those years, I spent time taking out books from the 80s and 90s in my school library-- but once I could get free literature on my itouch forever, as long as I had WiFi? Game changing. GAME. CHANGING.

People like to knock on fanfiction and, fine, sure, there's bad stuff out there just like everywhere else, but there's been no greater treasure in my life than clicking open a tab wherever I am-- bus, dr.s office, work, in bed-- and knowing there is a story there for me, if I just adjust my ao3 settings. Fanfiction is a lesson and a story and a celebration of stories all at once. I learned how to write from the fanfics I loved. I learned how to refine my sense of grammar (for better and for worse). I learned what worked and what didn't in a story. I learned what people like, and why they love it. I learned what different shapes and sizes of love look like in different eyes. I learned how many people can well and truly love a story, entirely independent from the media conglomerates that designed it to be marketable. Thousands of strangers freely, happily, embracing a story. Telling each other stories.

And the TAGGING system on ao3 changed my life. Ffn? Awful to navigate. Even worse to search on. The crossover options were limited and the categories were slim. Ao3 is a love letter to fans, and from fans to the media they love. I'm getting sentimental. It's 2am. But I wouldn't trade a thousand hours in my school library for the gift of reading at my fingertips, everywhere I go, for the rest of my life. And it's all because a stranger on the internet wanted to tell me a story.

Anyway. Blister Pack hit 30,000 hits. I write this story for me. But when it means something to all the readers popping comments in my inbox, all I can do is be grateful that it touches something in you, too. I don't know how long it'll mean anything to anyone, but the joy of archiving fics means that there's infinite time in the world for us to find the story we need today. It'll still be there in the morning.

*(I don't think my ventures with livejournal counted. I was only on there sporadically.)

Edit: drafted 11/28/2022

[matthewkniesys]

the summer before the nhl - jack hughes

a/n: this is an ig edit for my a summer thing au. you can find the details on the navigation (which is linked below) but basically reader and jack are best friends because the hughes's lake house is right beside yours but you don't talk at all during the time you aren't at the lake house. eventually the summer before jack goes to the nhl and you go to uni the two of you start catching feelings. this is that summer. hope you like it :)

a summer thing au with jack hughes

jackhughes

Liked by @/ yourusername, trevorzegras, lhughes_06 and 295 846 others

jackhughes - all my favourite people at the lake house

Tagged: @/ yourusername & trevorzegras

View Top Comments

yourusername - aww i'm one of your favourite people

↳ jackhughes - you are my favourite person

↳ yourusername - only in the summer

↳ trevorzegras - trust me it's not only in the summer

lhughes_06 - i could caption my instagram post with the same thing if you weren't here jack

↳ jackhughes - RUDE

↳ lhughes_06 - TRUE

↳ jackhughes - I'LL BLOCK YOU

↳ _quinnhughes - calm down children

alexturcotte - i think by favourite people he just means y/n

jackhughes liked this comment

yourusername

Liked by @/ yourbestfriend, jackhughes, _quinnhughes, and 80 384 others

yourusername - summer time 🤝 me and the bestie at the lake house

Tagged: @/ yourbestfriend

View Top Comments

jackhughes - i have a few problems with this... firstly i thoughts I was your bestie😭 and secondly where's my photo credit i took most of those

↳ yourusername - i have 2 besties and i'm not giving you credits cause every single time i asked you to take a picture you complained on and on

↳ jackhughes - i only complained cause you wouldn't let me be in the picture

trevorzegras - y/n's best friend is actually the hottest person alive...will you go out with me??

↳ yourbestfriend - trevor you're a pest and you already asked me out 3 times to day and the answer is still the same

↳ trevorzegras - it's okay one day i'll convince you i won't give up on true love yet

↳ yourusername - um trevor it's not gonna happen

↳ trevorzegras - don't crush my dreams yet y/n

yourbestfriend

Liked by @/ trevorzegras, _quinnhughes, nicohischier and 63 493 others

yourbestfriend - welcome to pictures of jack and y/n that they don't know i took of them...they are in fact in love

Tagged: @/ yourusername & jackhughes

View Top Comments

yourusername - WHAT IN THE WORLD YOU ARE SO CREEPY

↳ yourbestfriend - as your best friend in the world it's my job to tell you how it is and i'm telling you that you and jack are in love

↳ yourusername - ARE NOT

↳ yourbestfriend - ARE TOO

↳ _quinnhughes - am i the only mature one around here? (also you two are in love)

jackhughes - i mean we are pretty cute

↳ yourbestfriend - SEE EVEN JACK WILL ACKNOWLEDGE IT

↳ yourusername - awknoledge what?? i have no idea what you two are talking about

↳ jackhughes - i think you do know...

a summer thing au

thanks for reading🫶requests are always open for fics, blurbs, ig edits and just thoughts!!

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues @corneliaskates @imma-mirrorball @hvghes @emptyflowerpots @h0e4fictionalme-n @ivy-34 @jayisamirrorball

join my taglist

[garbinge]

Rescued

Jax Teller x F!Reader From these August Prompts: "Have a drink, relax." & For @the-slumberparty's Bingo Challenge! Bingo square: Rescued Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: This was honestly so fun to write, young and fun Jax is my favorite lol. Warnings: All my fics are 18+, regardless of content. Angst, flirting, cursing, Unsers nickname lol, drinking. SOA Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics

The popping of your tire was the cherry on top of a shitty trip but when it caused you to lose control of the wheel and smash into the speed limit sign, that was the boiling point for you. Luckily, you weren’t too injured, the airbag managed to leave a cut on your face somehow and now on top of a fucked up car, you had a bruised face and ego. You had been traveling for hours, just trying to make it back home and everything was going left. Calling the operator was infuriating, all of the numbers you had to press just to get to speak to someone only for them to transfer you to someone else in the Charming operating department.

“I’m looking for someone to tow my fuckin’ car.” The tone you took was one of little patience. 

“Well it’s a good thing you called the fuckin’ auto shop.” A voice with humor spoke on the other line. 

“This a mechanic?” You said taken back. “Sorry, I’ve been playing tag with like 3 different operators.” 

“Don’t worry about it, doesn’t make the top 5 of mean ass customers I’ve talked with.” The man on the line spoke. “So, you need a tow? You got a location?” 

“Uh,” You looked around for a street sign, any landmarks to give an idea where you were when your eyes landed on the green reflective light. “Just off the West Side Freeway, Rt 5.” 

“Alright, I’ll send the tow, gonna be $80.” 

“Ofcourse it is.” You sighed and closed your eyes as the day continued to shit on you. 

“We can workout a payment pl–” The voice was slightly concerned on the other line. 

“No.” You cut him off. “I’m good for it, it’s just the idea that I’m about to drain it all from my wallet.” 

The man on the other line let out a laugh. “We’ll be there in 20 minutes.” 

You thought you were lucky enough that the cops didn’t show up but they were right in front of the tow truck. The older officer was stepping out of the car before the tow truck even parked. 

“Everyone alright?” The man spoke up, as he got closer you saw the name engraved on below his badge. Unser. 

“It was just me, I’m alright. Popped my tired on the highway and the wheel decided to shake out on me.” You pointed to the ending of the story where your car sat plowed over the metal pole and sign. 

“Your uh– you got a little banged up.” He pointed to his face where the cut on yours was. “You sure you don’t want me to call an ambulance or an EMT to check it out?” 

“I’m okay, officer. I really just want to get my car out of here and fixed.” As you spoke you pointed to the tow truck and the long blond haired man who was approaching from the truck. 

Unser turned around and nodded to the man. “Jax.” 

“Uncle Touchy.” Jax’s smile was from ear to ear as he walked past him and directly to you and your car. 

“Hey I’m Jax.” The man nodded at you, keeping his smile the same until it fell a little as he took in your face. 

At first, you thought maybe he was concerned with the cut on your face but his next sentence disproved that theory. 

“I know you? You look familiar.” He said the frown deepening now. 

“I’m not really from around here, so I don’t think so.” You weren’t really trying to go back and forth right now, your main objective was to just get the fuck out of here. That was until it hit you who he was. “Oh shit, you’re–”

“From the truck stop.” His smile grew back on his face. 

“You’re all out of coffee.” Your annoyed voice was yelling out over the front counter of the convenient store down to the cashier who had already checked out.

“Then we’re all out!” The worker didn’t even bother to look at you while he dismissed you. 

“This place is literally called Coffee and Go. That’s what I want to do. Get my coffee and go.” You spoke like it was obvious, which to your point, it kind of was. 

Just as the cashier was about to yell back at you, now looking at you fully the person at the register stepped towards you. “Here, take mine, I should cut back on the caffeine anyways.” 

Your eyes moved down from his young, handsome face to his hand that was extending out the coffee. That’s when your eyes saw the vest resting over his flannel, Sons of Anarchy, Vice President. 

“I didn’t drink from it yet, it’s just got a little sugar in it but besides that it’s just regular black coffee.” 

“You don’t need to do that.” You shook your head trying to dismiss the man’s generosity. 

“I know but if I don’t, I think you’re going to kill that guy.” He leaned in to whisper to you. “And I don’t really want to be pulled in as a witness.” 

“What can I say, I’m a bit of an unruly character without my caffeine.” You reached out to take the coffee. “I’ve been on the road for a while, thank you.” You genuinely said. 

“Don’t mention it, darling.” 

“I didn’t recognize you without the–” You shrugged your shoulders and brought your hands up to mimic holding the vest. 

Jax let out a laugh. “Traded it in for the work shirt for the next 5 hours. Didn’t recognize you with the–” He pointed to his face similarly to the officer before but in more of a mimicking way since you had mocked his kutte. 

“Guess we both went through a few changes since the morning.” You rolled your eyes. 

Small town charm. That’s what this was, everyone knew everyone, people were chatty. As you pulled into the automotive shop you turned to see the line of bikes along the wall and the large reaper over the building diagonal from the garages. Maybe this was a different small town charm than you had thought. 

You had lost track of your conversation with Jax as you stared at the bikers walking around. 

“Never seen an M.C. before?” His voice cut through your thoughts. 

“More like I know them too well.” You mumbled not expecting any reply from him but the confused look on his face was begging for more information as he placed the tow in park. 

“My mom, years ago, was a member of Hell Babes before they patched over into Rebel Supply. It was a Women’s Motorcycle Collective so, probably a little different than this.” You pointed out the truck window and looked back at Jax who was a little surprised to hear the story from you. 

“Or a lot of the same.” Jax’s eyebrows raised. 

“We’ll never know that will we?” You raised your eyebrows back at him. The confused look filled Jax’s face again as he frowned at your statement before taking the keys out of the ignition. “You’re never gonna tell me the reapers' ways of working and I’m not going to tell you anything about the Rebels.” 

“Yea, it’s a lot of the same.” Jax smiled at you. “Let me give the guys the keys so they can start working on an estimate for you.” 

You stood in the middle of the lot, waiting for Jax to come back, taking in the details on each of the bikes, it was bringing back a lot of memories for you, good and bad. Luckily you didn’t get too far down memory lane before Jax was back next to you, now with his kutte over his work shirt. 

“Come on, it’s gonna be a minute.” He guided you towards the tall black building that had the MC logo plastered everywhere on it. 

As you stepped into what you assumed to be the clubhouse the smell of cigars and alcohol filled your nose. It was definitely extremely different from what the Women’s Collective had as their stomping grounds, but what did you expect when it was a bunch of middle aged men in the middle of bumfuck California. 

“Have a drink, relax.” Jax was calling out from the bar as he poured you a beer. 

“The cop gonna come back and DUI test me?” You made yourself comfortable at the bar. 

“Nah, Unser’s cool.” Jax smirked like he expected you to know what that meant in terms of the club.

“Uncle Touchy, you mean?” You asked in hopes for some explanation to the nickname that wouldn’t make you sick to your stomach. 

“It’s just a joke, pisses him off, there’s no rhyme or reason behind it, don’t worry.” Jax laughed, taking a sip of his own beer. 

“This is the second drink you’ve bought me today.” The glass raised to cheers him before you took a sip yourself. The cold beer was like medicine to your aching body, the cold chill relaxed you from not only the accident but the week you were having. 

“Call it fate.” He chuckled. 

“Call it Teller-Morrow Towing.” You rebutted. 

“Speaking of, I thought the coffee was supposed to dial down the unruliness.” 

“Only managed to have half the cup before my tire popped, not enough to keep the unruliness at bay.” 

The two of you continued talking, chatting about your parents and clubs, but still managing to keep pretty much every detail a secret as you talked. Topics changed and there was never an awkward lull or search for another thing to bring up, things just came up naturally, where you grew up, your favorite places to travel, the fact that you stopped riding years ago and how Jax could never give it up, what you were doing coming through Charming. 

It was crazy that an hour had already passed when one of the mechanics had stepped into the clubhouse. 

“Jax! That tow you brought in, estimate is $670 for everything, we can have it done by tomorrow morning, just let us know when to get started!” 

You closed your eyes as you heard the time and price. “That how you let all your customers know the breakdown?” 

“Don’t let most of my customers come in here to wait out their estimate, truthfully.” He grabbed your glass and tossed it in the sink. 

“Let ‘em know to get started.” You stood up ready to retreat out of the clubhouse and figure out your overnight arrangements. 

“Will do, if you want, maybe uh, I can give you that full cup of coffee in the mornin’.” 

He was so smug about asking you that it was obvious what he was saying between the lines. 

“You askin’ me to stay the night, biker boy?” The two of you were now walking down the hallway to the door when Jax grabbed the door above your head and held it open for you. 

“All about the hospitality, baby, and figured it’d be good to caffeinate you in the mornin’ so you’re not unruly to my guys.”  He had a toothpick in his mouth now that was moving around as his tongue played with it. 

“What the gentlemen, Jax.” You crossed your arms before agreeing, what the hell, you were just passing through, right? “Sure, I’ll bite. Thanks.” 

“Don’t mention it, darling.” 

[svsss-fanon-exposed]

I really appreciate your continued emphasis on people being free to enjoy canon and fanon as they want while providing accurate canon information! All the asks and PSAs you've shared on that recently reminded me of a fic where sj actually WAS innocent, even wrt abuse. They had to make an a/n how it was their spin deviant from canon so it'd be great if they could stop getting nasty messages pls. I just think we should all foster a nicer fandom environment, so I love what you're doing~!

Yeah, I personally might be a book-canon purist, but I can certainly recognize that not everyone feels the same way-- and at the end of the day, it is fiction, what people want to do with canon and fanon is up to them and really has little to do with them as a person. I hold authorial intent in really high regard, but no need to bully those who don't, and who want to rearrange things.

Of course, for something like you mention, I would advise using some kind of tag to indicate that it's off-script. Especially since SJ's abuse of LBH is an integral part of the story the novel is telling, changing things like that changes the entire tone of things.

If a fic where the characters are intentionally OOC gets popular, then people will inevitably start going to that fic's portrayal and mixing that up with canon details (this is, probably, why there is so much apologism and denial of SJ's canonical abuse of LBH in this fandom, though it certainly wouldn't be the specific fic you're referencing alone and is probably a combination of many different factors). I personally don't like portrayals like this, but if a writer is changing it for their story, then who am I to judge or harrass them over it? The only issue comes when it spills over into the wider fandom perception, and you have people swearing left and right that SJ had nothing to do with the fake manual (he did) or didn't actually mean to abuse LBH or want him dead (he also did, and this can't just be contriubted to unreliable narrator since it comes from his own perspective in the extras). So I think an a/n at the beginning is a good idea in situations like these. If writers don't want to spoil things, just simply tag that the character is OOC compared to canon-- no need to go into specifics, and readers will know going in that the portrayal isn't meant to be a take on canon or aligning with it.

No one knows how popular their fic will become, after all, and if it gets into the wider fandom space without proper context, things like "Shen Jiu was just treating LBH normally for the time period, he wasn't abusive, LBH was just a self-obsessed person trying to demonize him" become mainstream, widely held beliefs.

Of course, this is what my blog is for, hopefully rerouting some of those ideas, pointing back to the sources where the divergence happened, so that people can see that while they may enjoy this canon-divergent depiction, that they shouldn't bring it into canon-based analysis. I think sourcing fanon is very important for this reason-- better than just saying "you're wrong" is being able to say "this is where the idea came from."

At the end of the day, a deliberately off-script, ooc portrayal should be tagged as such and AO3 provides those tags for a reason. There's nothing inherently wrong with writing characters OOC to change a story. People can write what they want! It's the writer's job to make relevant information known, and the reader's job to filter it out and just not read things they don't like. I'm so particular that I put down probably 80 percent of fics I read before I even get through the first few chapters. That's just me though! I'm a canon snob! Other people have no issues and that's fine.

As long as things aren't skewing into abuse apologism in regards to the canon-universe, there's literally no reason I can't just ignore things I don't like, and there's no reason other people can't do the same with things they don't like.

Anyway, don't harrass artists and writers in the fandom. If you feel it absolutely necessary to leave a comment in regards to an OOC character portrayal, don't be mean about it, just say something like "<Character Name> seems to be a bit OOC here, is this intentional?" but even then, it's really not necessary to come into someone else's space like that. Make your own posts, write your own fics.

There is no reason to assume malice when there are other explanations. This is hard with topics like abuse apologism, but people also need to remember that this is fiction. SJ was abusive in canon, but he's still not a real person, and if someone wants to write a version of him where he's not abusive, then that portrayal can easily be treated as a version from an alternate universe where things were different. This is not the same as saying a person in real life isn't abusive, because in this case, it's not apologism-- it's literally a different universe where the rules of the original canon don't apply. In fictional and fandom spaces, it's a lot easier and better off to just give people the benefit of the doubt.

As long as you're not claiming that his canon behavior wasn't abusive (since that's about behaviors now, and not just a fictional story), it literally doesn't matter what people write in fanfic.

Authors, tag your fics with everything you'd like your readers to be aware of, because when a reader opens up a fic they're probably expecting the characters to follow canon unless stated otherwise.

Readers, read the portrayals and stories you like. Don't read the ones you don't. If something isn't tagged correctly, and you find out you don't like it after reading, just close the fic and stop reading.

No one should ever be harassing anyone else over fandom for any reason.

[anubisisms]

Seeing more discourse around the 'Chose Not to Warn' (CNTW) archive warning on AO3 again and I feel the need to add a few extra points about it.

I won't rehash the long analyses people have given before: CNTW is a valid warning on its own merit (I have always interpreted it as 'could possibly contain any of the above' with regards to the other major warnings), and even if it for some reason were not, it is the default warning given by the archive. It's a warning on it's own. If you worry about triggers, don't read fics tagged with CNTW.

But, ignoring all of the valid points about author discretion as to tagging and warning, two more points came to mind when reading over some of the arguments about CNTW I've seen lately that I think need to be considered more.

First and foremost is the actual utility of tagging every trigger: you do not know what could possibly trigger every single reader, and more importantly, it is impossible to tag to full scope anyway. As we all know, AO3 implemented a 75-tag limit on new works posted after September of 2021. Sometimes, especially when a fic covers a wide scope of different content, not only is it hard to tag for every possible trigger, it sometimes also becomes impossible.

Secondly, the utility of tagging everything becomes even less possible when you're considering long fics. I don't mean fics of 100k or more. I'm talking 300-400k or more. Stories that contain so much content it again becomes impossible to tag everything. And what about when an author hasn't fully decided on plot points as they start posting? What if they change their mind and include scenes that are triggering, 80% of the way through a fic? Even if they do tag it, there will be detractors angry it wasn't posted from the start. It's certainly happened before.

I have a work that will easily surpass a million words at completion. I am hard-pressed to tag just all the major, overarching content and themes, much less tag every single trigger it might contain. There is not way for me to do such unless we want a repeat of Sexy Times with Wangxian. So, in case authors know their story might evolve to have content that upsets people, CNTW is a neat little option. "This might have stuff that will upset you. It might contain stuff from the other archive warnings". In what sense is that not a valid warning?

CNTW is not a 'rude' tag. It is not lazy or wrong or an incorrect way to tag or use AO3. Some of you just haven't read the TOS.

[whatdoidosatoru]

First Date (Keisuke Baji x OC) chapter 1

PART 1 of The Only Exception

experimental emo!baji fic (Baji x OC that's just reader but with a name because i'd rather shoot myself than write y/n)

part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - ao3

Both, Baji and OC are into alternative music and I've tried to not describe OC physically so she can be anyone :)

pairing: Keisuke Baji x reader

word count: 7.2k

18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

I don't know how to tag but here goes nothing: oral sex (both receiving), fingering, slight dirty talk, face-fucking, penetrative sex, bathroom sex, slight asshole!baji, fem!reader

The met at a night club and turn it into a whole thing, songs to go with the story:

𝆕 Playlist

18 - Anarbor

First Date - blink-182

Bring Me To Life - Evanescence

The River - Good Charlotte

Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon

DONTTRUSTME - 3OH!3

Cherrypie - Warrant

Rebel Love song - Black Veil Brides

The day of the event finally came. I’d been looking forward to Emo Nite for almost a month now, ever since my best friend called me screaming that the new date had been announced. You’d think being in university with the event manager would help stifle the excitement over it since we could get any information about it whenever we wanted, but it’d been months since the two of us had gone out anywhere. It was the only thing on my mind as I dragged myself through my lectures, 3 pm could not have come any sooner. Finally, as the last lecture of the day came to an end, I started packing up my notes, trying to figure out what I was going to wear. 

My apartment was a short walk away from the university, the club, and our favourite gym, therefore this entire day was made that much easier as I didn’t have to depend on public transportation to get anywhere. 

Just as I opened the front door to my place that I shared with my best friend and roommate, I was attacked by my favourite playlist blasting from her room, the playlist I had made for her to get in the zone for these kinds of parties, all consisting of the music I had got moaned at for listening to in my teens. It very obviously was not a phase, mom. 

“You should put on 3OH!3” I let myself into her room.

“I don’t know what that means!!” She was frantically going through her wardrobe looking for something to wear.

“Give me the phone, trust me,” I said with a wink.

I clicked on the song and noticed some of my own clothes strewn over her bed, evidence that both of us currently had the same issue to decide on. I loved showing her the music I u̶s̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ listen to as she never got to experience peak emo and scene culture in the town where she grew up. 

“What the fuck kind of line is ‘I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him’”

“Mai, don’t question peak songwriting. It’s iconic.” 

She rolled her eyes, but I knew she was enjoying it. 

It was my turn to cook so I got to work preparing food for both of us before a well-deserved rest. Since I’d never been good at estimating the amount of rice needed for two people, there was now a full pot of leftovers that I promptly put away while cleaning up. 

The music blasting from Mai’s room was making me dance around the kitchen and postponing the tiredness I’d felt ever since opening my eyes in the morning. To take advantage of that burst of energy, I cleaned up all surfaces in the kitchen and dining room, giving Mai a break from her turn for cleaning that day, and moved on to the bathroom, where I made sure everything looked decent enough not to put me into a slump when we wake up the next day. Satisfied with the work, it was time to take a short nap before going to the gym. 

“Maybe this was a mistake, maybe we were too ambitious to plan to go out after the gym.” My friend complained on the way home.

“Well, maybe you should’ve done a low-intensity set like me like I told you! Because I’m feeling great!”

“I’m too old for this shit.”

“You’re 22! I dread to think how you’ll feel when you’re 80.”

She just stuck her tongue out at me in response. 

Both of us felt rejuvenated after a shower and it was high time to start getting dressed and doing our makeup. The playlist was back on and so was the random singing and shouting. I decided on a black blink-182 top, black jeans that are so ripped that I put fishnets on underneath, and an oversized denim jacket over the top.

The guitar pick necklace matched the t-shirt and all that was left was to put a fuck ton of eyeliner on. I went into Mai’s room to check on her and, damn, she looked incredible. She’d fit right in with her shorts, completely ripped black tights, Linkin Park t-shirt, and a plaid shirt wrapped tightly around her waist. I wolf-whistled.

“Not sure I can let you out like that, Mai.”

“Is something wrong with it? Is it too much? Oh no it’s too much isn’t it…”

“Hell no I’m just thinking of the best way to swat people away when they start swarming you.”

She smirked at the comment “You look just like you did in your old photos…just with better hair.”

“Please don’t remind me, I can still smell the hair spray.”

We sat on the floor and started doing our makeup, occasionally changing songs on her speakers and cracking stupid jokes. When we were done it was around 10 pm and Mai insisted on taking photos before leaving. My eyeliner sort of matched her plaid shirt, big black wings with red lines underneath, on my inner corners, and slicing through my eyebrows. On the lips, I opted for black-red ombre lipstick hoping it doesn’t transfer onto my cup of whatever I chose to drink. 

The walk to the club was pleasant as it wasn’t too cold or too hot. With those last breaths of fresh air of the night, we walked in and found our names on the list to be let inside. The space wasn’t very big, but it had only a few open windows so I felt sweat dripping down my back almost as soon as we got to the dance floor. Waving at the DJ and the event manager, we made our way to the bar. Mai started flirting with the bartender and I really had to respect the swiftness with which she got her first free drink of the night.

I grabbed my extortionately priced can of Red Bull and a straw and headed to the floor. There was quite a big crowd of people on one end of the room so we danced our way to the other side. The big reason why I loved going out with Mai is that she left all her shyness at home and sang from the top of her lungs even if her words were wrong. I, on the other hand, had to be broken out of my shell every time. 

After a while, having gotten comfortable with a big crowd of people all around us, I started noticing familiar faces walking in. Some of Mai’s friends from one of her lectures were there and we very quickly joined them in carving out some space for our group on the dancefloor. I could feel the makeup melting and everyone was getting water to freshen up so I decided to venture out to find the nearest toilet. Mai followed me out and kept singing as we walked past a group of guys, one of whom nearly knocked me into the wall.

“Watch it, assholes!” She shouted after them as I was regaining balance.

There was broken glass stuck in the soles of my vans and I could feel it scrape the floor as I walked on. 

“I swear some people don’t understand the concept of personal space, are you okay?” her worrying was adorable.

“Yeah, I just have to pick out the glass from my soles now. He didn’t even apologise, did he?”

“Nah, that’s okay I’ll find him back inside and feed him my fist though, don’t you worry.” I laughed as she pretended to punch the hand dryer. We tried to dab some sweat off of our faces with toilet paper but soon gave up as it would probably build up as soon as we stepped back into the room. Heading back, my favourite song came on and I had to sprint to get back to our group and share my excitement with others. 

“I really fucking love this song!” I shouted into someone’s ear, only to realise it was not one of my people, but the very asshole that pushed me in the hallway minutes before, along with his friends. He looked me up and down and, smirking like I was a child expressing their enjoyment of an animated film, chuckled “Good for you”.

I turned to find Mai, but she had already seen the interaction and followed what happened with raised eyebrows. 

“Was that…”

“Someone that still needs to get punched for being a dick? Yeah that’s the guy.”

“Mai, he’s hot. Why didn’t you tell me he was this hot! I would’ve pushed myself to save him the trouble of doing it himself if he needed me to!”

“I can’t hear half the words you just said and I don’t think I want to. You’re too sexually frustrated for your own good.”

Still I couldn’t stop picturing his face as he looked me up and down. Did he like what he saw? Did he find me cringe? Did he realise I was the person he pushed? I could’ve sworn I caught a glimpse of adorable fangs in his mouth, was he one of those weirdos that wore fake fangs to emo events?

Mai dragged me to the bar to get another drink, but I kept scanning the room to find the asshole vampire guy. With a new can in hand, I went towards the DJ to talk to the event manager. She was a really cool girl I had met waiting for our professor to start the lecture because both of us wore the same band t-shirt. Ever since she started organising these parties, Mai and I have been on the list and stayed until the very end of the party. 

“What’s wrong? You never not sing along to Ocean Avenue,” Hana waved in front of my face. Mai chuckled and told her I was just too horny to function. 

“Who’s the target tonight?” Hana asked with a massive grin.

“That long-haired asshole next to the bar,” Mai pointed towards him and his group of friends, all of them with drinks in their hands and not really dancing or looking like they were there for the music.

They kept talking while I made my way back out of the room to get some air and space to think. When someone stood next to where I was crouching, I assumed it was Mai trying to get me back inside.

“Sorry about pushing you earlier,” a voice that definitely wasn’t Mai’s said.

I looked up and was greeted by a pair of bronze eyes and a serious face framed by long black hair. Leaning on the wall with hands in his pockets, it was Asshole Vampire from before. The one I couldn’t stop looking for in the crowd, now he stood next to me where I could hear him better. I quickly stood up and swayed a little from getting up too fast. 

“I didn’t think you even noticed someone falling and stepping on glass because of you.” My voice was vibrating from screaming along with the music earlier.

“I know it’s not really an excuse, but I tried to get back as soon as possible to hear the song that was playing. I love Black Veil Brides.” He chuckled and looked down.

I looked him over, he was wearing a white button-up shirt that was slightly unbuttoned, black jeans, and black Converse. His hair was long and shiny, falling forward nonchalantly. 

“I will say that just might be a good enough reason, I’ll try to call off the hit I put on you.” I tried sounding casual despite the fact that he was standing so close to me I could feel the warmth of his body.

“That would be great, thanks. You have a good music taste, apparently. Good Charlotte is one of my favourite bands.”

I looked at him and blushed, that meant he definitely knew it was me shouting in his ear earlier.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I thought you were someone I knew.”

He looked amused, “I’m Keisuke. Now I’m also someone you know.”

I shook his hand, trying to secretly admire his beautiful long fingers. “Yuna. I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

“I’ve never managed to get my friends to come with me before, and I’m not the type to go out to clubs by myself.”

“Well, I hope you get them to come next time as well, I’ve been to every Emo Nite and they’re always amazing. I’m friends with the event manager as well.” Wow shut up, I thought to myself, who gives a shit. 

“They’re not really into the same music, that’s why we’re just standing there like statues. Just observing. Like a bunch of creeps.”

That made me shiver a bit. Was I actually holding a conversation with this guy? If only Mai could see me now…she’d probably run over to punch Keisuke in the face. 

“I get it, luckily, my friend is discovering this music now and likes it, I’ve been into it since I was probably 10.”

“Ahhh, the right age to sing about all the greatest pains in life, back before you even knew what the real world was.” He stared ahead like he knew that pain now.

“Yeah, but it’s been 12 years since then, and it’s still my day-to-day music.”

“You’re 22 then?” He looked back at me, “Are you from around here? We could’ve been in the same year..”

“I moved here for university.” Okay great, he was my age and he had the same music taste. I couldn’t help but wonder what his lips would taste like…

“You know I can see you staring at my lips, right?” He grinned, obviously very pleased with himself having caught me staring.

“Hm? Oh…yeah. You’re insanely gorgeous, sorry,” I cringed at myself. What the fuck is wrong with me? May as well go get Mai and head home, there is no way I could enjoy my night after this. A soft chuckle escaped his mouth “Likewise, I didn’t get a very good look at you inside, but now that I can see you properly, I’m really glad I came out to check on you.”

Wait, what? “Check on me?”

“It seemed like you were unwell, and when you headed out I wanted to make sure you didn’t collapse or something,” he shrugged. My heart started pounding, he was looking at me inside? He worried about me? He wanted to help me? Woah. 

“That’s very kind, coming from the guy who almost flattened me with the wall.”

He threw his head back and laughed, “Are you going to hold that against me forever?”

“Maybe,” I smiled at him, “unless you make it up to me.”

He turned to face me completely.

“Well, how about we head back inside to enjoy some music together, and you think of a way for me to me it up to you?”

I took in his gorgeous jawline and the canines peeking through his lips.

“Lead the way, Keisuke.”

We went back inside, I immediately started scanning the crowd for Mai or Hana. They waved me over to them and I grabbed Keisuke’s hand to lead him to them. Mai’s eyes went wide and I knew we were going to have to talk about this later.

“Keisuke, this is Mai, my best friend, and that’s Hana, she organised this event,” I shouted into his ear, inhaling the scent of his hair.

Mai looked him up and down and Hana shook his hand. I was pleading with Mai with my eyes not to beat the shit out of him right then and there, signalling that I didn’t want him dead.

“I’m going to stay over at Hana’s tonight, if that’s okay with you, Yuna.” Hana turned to her with questions in her eyes, but Mai pinched her arm and smiled at her. 

Was she trying to give me some kind of a signal? Keisuke looked between us, all I could do was just nod and go dance. It seemed too convenient that the next song that was playing was a slow one. Keisuke grabbed my hand, “I assume you want to dance to blink-182,” he nodded at my t-shirt and necklace. 

I couldn’t believe it. We’d been dancing for several songs now, surprisingly, he’s actually got rhythm. Mai decided to stay with Hana and not come back for me, which normally never happens. It was always the two of us against everyone in the room. Maybe she saw the tension between Keisuke and me - wait…was there tension between Keisuke and me? He was looking down at me and smiling most of the time, save for when he was belting out to the music. Especially when both of us were singing the wrong lyrics to Fall Out Boy. After a while, he dragged me to the hallway to speak to me.

“Do you want to get out of here?” He looked at me intensely. It took me a few seconds to catch on.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Do you live nearby?”

This wasn’t weird, right? To the rational part of my brain, it sounded like a bad idea, but I’d been imagining what his lips would feel like on my neck for a good part of the night. 

“Yeah, walking distance,” As soon as I said that he leaned down and caught my lips with his. I reached for his neck and brought him closer, deepening the kiss. His lips were soft and I could smell his shampoo as his hair fell to tickle my face. There was a low vibration in the back of his throat. When he broke the kiss he looked into my eyes like he was trying to read them. I could get lost just staring at his face. He smiled and took my hand, “Lead the way, Yuna.”

I fumbled around my pockets trying to text Mai while he let his friends know he wasn’t going home with them. It seemed like a fortunate coincidence that Mai was staying over at Hana’s tonight.

Yunaaaaasty, 01:28

i’m going home with vampire guy, am i making the biggest mistake of my life?

Mai Darling, 01:29

thought so :) why did you think i made Hana let me stay over?

Yunaaaaasty, 01:29

you’re a mastermind and i owe you for this

Mai Darling, 01:30

oh yes you do but honestly it’s not as fun singing i’m not okay without you <3333

just let me know if you’re dead or alive in the morning so i can alert the police kbye have fun ;)

I looked up as Keisuke reached for my hand, his grip was so warm it immediately made my heart jump. I could feel warmth pooling in my stomach in anticipation of what might happen in just a few short minutes. Keisuke kept asking me questions about my life on our way there, though I wasn’t exactly sure why he was so curious if this was to be only a one-time thing. Maybe he was trying to determine if I was a psycho killer of some sort…or maybe he was? Oh well, he was so gorgeous I wouldn’t mind dying if it meant having some fun with him beforehand. 

We walked up the stairs and he started kissing behind my ear. My skin felt tight in anticipation of his touch and I felt myself shiver as his kisses trailed down to my neck.

“You’re distracting me, I’m trying to get us inside at least,” I chuckled at him.

“How long does it normally take you to unlock your front door?”

“Hey it’s difficult finding the key in this mess of keychains, now I have you making me thinking about uhhh…other things as well.”

He moved to my lips and nipped at my bottom lip. “Oh and what is it that I’m making you think about?” There is no way I was saying that out loud outside my apartment, so I just pushed the door open and dragged him inside after me.

~

I started taking my denim jacket off all the while not breaking the kiss and leading him to my bedroom. I shut the door and clumsily shook off my Vans, starting to unbutton his shirt. He looked at me with hungry eyes, his hands travelling along my hips and up to my breasts. Luckily, the fairy lights around my bed frame were left on so I could see his eyes as he was drinking in the lust in my eyes. When he shrugged off his shirt, he started unbuttoning my jeans and pushed me toward my desk, still messy with my coursework and at least four dictionaries and other heavy tomes. I broke the kiss to put the books away when he chuckled, “Damn, I was kind of hoping to knock it over in the heat of the moment and eat you out on top of the desk,” As hot as that would’ve been, this was the product of a month of research and hard work and it deserved to be put away safely.

“If I hadn’t spent all my sanity working on this paper I would say yes.”

“Can I still eat you out at least?” I felt my knees threatening to give out, why was his saying that so damn hot? 

“Please,” I moaned into his mouth and started to peel my fishnets off when he grabbed my hands to stop me.

“Keep them on,” his breathy voice rolled into my ear, “but how attached are you to those panties?”

This confused me, but he already grabbed the fabric of my underwear and started ripping them on the side and casting them away. He lifted me up and put me on top of my desk, now trailing his mouth down my torso to where my panties were a few seconds ago. His large hands ripped the crotch of my tights and started putting his hair up into a ponytail. I hadn’t noticed the hair tie that had been around his wrist until he took it off and held it with his teeth.

My head spun when he lowered his lips to my heat and started to lick long strokes between the folds. Leaning back on my hands, I let out a breathy moan that made him chuckle into me and start sucking on my clit.

“Oh my..Keisuke yes,” I couldn’t keep it in anymore, his tongue swirled all around the most sensitive area and when I looked down at his face his eyes were set on me, as if he needed to make sure I was coming undone. As if my moans and hitched breaths weren’t enough of a sign, he needed to see it with his own eyes. 

My hand went to the base of his ponytail to bring him closer to me, as I did so it felt like he dug in with an even stronger intensity than before. I was nearing my peak when he inserted a finger inside me. I could feel his lips spreading into a smile when he saw my reaction like he was saving that move until the end.

“Let go, Yuna. If you cum on my tongue now I’ll let you ride me.” That was all that was needed to push me over the edge and make me shake with pleasure while his hand held me down on the desk. 

He got up and pulled my t-shirt off, slowly unbuckling my bra and adding it to the pile of clothes on the floor. Keisuke let his hair back down and started pulling my hair into a ponytail, tying it with his hair tie. I pushed him onto my bed and crawled up to his crotch, pulling his jeans down as he pushed his Converse off his feet.

When I pulled down his boxers I was met with his hard cock slapping his abdomen and, looking up into his eyes, gave the head an experimental lick. His eyelashes fluttered and he closed his eyes so I took it as a sign to continue. 

Keisuke let out the sweetest moan when I took as much of his length as I could into my mouth, one hand on his shaft, the other on the balls. With long, circular motions, my tongue slid all over his cock, licking off any drops of precum it dripped.

His balls were in my hand, softly being massaged, causing him to huff and moan softly. His hand reached for my hair and grabbed it to lead me how he wanted me. He held me in place as his hips thrust up. As his thrusts got more and more frantic, my throat had had enough, so I released his balls from my hand and grabbed the hand that was holding my ponytail signalling I needed a break.

He released me and dragged me up to his face to kiss me, but I had to get things moving to get him inside of me as soon as possible. 

Leaning over to my bedside table, I pushed aside my phone and Polaroid camera, grabbed a condom from the drawer, and turned on some music, “Alexa, play Oh My Word It’s Happening playlist.” When the first song started playing, he let out a laugh,

“Really, First Date?” 

“Hey, I want to make this night last forever, okay?”

I handed him the condom and straddled his abdomen, leaning in to kiss him deeply. Keisuke’s hair was spread over the pillow like a dark halo, framing his beautiful face, I almost forgot how to breathe. His hands were trailing along my thighs, still covered with fishnet tights, as I positioned myself above his hard cock, slowly lowering myself down, his eyes rolling back and filthy moans escaping his soft lips.

When I sunk fully onto his cock, I couldn’t help myself but let out a high-pitched moan which seemed to wake him from the bliss he was in. He grabbed my hips and helped me bounce myself on him. The thickness that spread my walls made me feel full, and each thrust scratched an impossible itch inside me. When Keisuke started grunting with each thrust I knew he was nearing his peak. I reached to rub my clit with one hand, but he swiftly knocked it aside and replaced it with his own. I threw my head back in pure pleasure and let out all the pent-up pressure from my throat as I came all over his dick, he followed soon after with an animalistic moan and stopped thrusting. 

He looked spent and let go of my hips, I needed to burn the image of him lying underneath me into the insides of my eyelids. I reached over to grab my camera,

“Do you mind if I take one of you?” I motioned with the camera. He gave me a small smile,

“Is this some kind of a psycho killer trophy you’re collecting?”I couldn’t help but laugh,

“Maybe, but I want to remember this.” He nodded with a blissful smile, so I looked through a viewfinder and pushed the button. Putting the camera aside, I got off of him and lay next to him, gently taking the condom off and launching it into the bin.

~

“I feel obligated to mention that I’ve never done this before,” He raised his eyebrow at my comment, causing me to correct myself, “I mean, I’ve never brought someone home like this, especially after just meeting them.” He was tracing shapes on my stomach, all the while staring into my eyes.

“Me neither,” he admitted, “I’m still not convinced you’re not some psycho killer taking advantage of young men, taking salacious photos of them, and then disposing of their corpses in the nearby bushes.” I just had to laugh at the notion,

“You seem to have put a lot of thought into this scenario, are you sure you’re not the murderer?” He leaned over to place a kiss on my shoulder,

“Well, I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” Looking over at him, I took in his loose hair, now messy and half-resting on my pillows.

“Honestly, after this, I think I would gladly let you kill me. I don’t remember the last time I felt this good.” When Keisuke pulled me closer to him, resting his hand on my hip, I swear I could have floated away.

After some conversation that sounded way too casual considering the way we had just made each other feel, I heard Keisuke’s stomach rumble so I offered to get him some food and dragged him out of bed and into the kitchen. He managed to put his boxers back on while I put on my pyjama top and we made way to investigate the food situation. 

“I’ve got some leftovers from today, I mean, I guess it’s technically yesterday now.” I pulled out the tub with leftover fried rice and chicken and stuck it into the microwave while he inspected the fridge door that was littered with polaroids of Mai and me, some from our work with other coworkers, some of us cuddling her cats from back home, some of our birthday and end-of-exams parties, and others of my old dance group from different competitions we attended.

“You have cats?” He seemed really interested in all individual photos.

“Ah, no, those are Mai’s parents’ cats. They live in the middle of nowhere and have a bunch of animals, unfortunately, we couldn’t get any of her pets here when we moved in,” I pointed at another photo of me with a big black labrador sitting on the beach, “That’s my dog, but he lives with my parents, as I’m too busy to take care of a dog right now.” He nodded and looked over a few more photos before stepping towards me and pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. 

At that moment the microwave beeped and I went to grab the food and plate it up. We ate standing in the kitchen, neither of us feeling inclined to move away from each other. Keisuke was stuffing his face like he hadn't eaten in days,

“I think you need to slow down,” I said with a smirk.

“This is amazing, I can’t stop,” he said with his mouth full.

When he was done, he started to put the plates into the dishwasher and I offered him something to drink. With him in the kitchen, I made my way to the bathroom to wipe my makeup off, noticing the lipstick hadn’t transferred at all. Keisuke appeared behind me when I had taken off most of the makeup and started touching my ass. Luckily I didn’t put any underwear on, remembering how he ripped the pair I wore earlier. I looked at him through the mirror and smiled at his gentle caresses. He seemed entranced by my skin and started making his way towards my bare heat. Gently rubbing my sensitive lips, he elicited soft moans from my lips. Our eyes met in the mirror and he returned my smile,

“You’re so beautiful, did you know that? I loved seeing you with  the makeup, but this,” he reached for my cheek with his hand, the other one still rubbing my pussy, “is incredible.” 

He grabbed my face and kissed it, making me moan into his mouth which made him change his approach and sink a finger inside of me. He groaned when my walls sucked his finger in, adding another and hooking them to hit the most sensitive spot inside. My legs started shaking with pleasure, which seemed to amuse him enough to giggle and move to stand right behind me, spreading my legs.

“I don’t know what it is about you,” Keisuke whispered, “but you’re making me feel feral, like no amount of touching you will ever be enough,” his voice was making me wet with desire.

“Feral? We can do it like they do it on the Discovery channel then,” I invited him for another round. I opened one of the drawers under the sink and passed him a condom, causing him to chuckle,

“Very convenient.” 

“We like to be prepared,” he aligned his once again hard cock with my entrance and pushed in, throwing his head back in pleasure, my back arching to get a better angle, still holding the edges of the sink. He pushed into me until I couldn’t take any more and gasped loudly. He stopped and started pulling out and pushing back in, only up to the point I could handle. This angle made hitting the sensitive spot so much easier, it made me gasp and whine with every single one of his thrusts. His hands were squeezing my ass like it was the only thing keeping him grounded on this Earth. His cock was buried deep inside of me, hitting my most sensitive areas, pulling me apart from the inside.

I threw my head back and Keisuke took the opportunity to grab my jaw and pull me towards his face. He was grunting into my ear and kissing my neck, I was certain I wouldn’t last much longer. 

With his teeth, he scraped along my neck. With a cry, I creamed on his cock, which only seemed to make him go faster and harder. “Good girl, hold on tight,” he whispered into my ear, letting go of my jaw and instead holding the base of my ponytail as I held onto the wall in front of me for dear life. One of his hands snaked around me and found my clit, rubbing it in circular motions, sending me into another orgasm, this one louder than the last.

Never breaking pace, he chuckled and smacked my ass three times before returning both his hands on my ass, pulling me into his hips repeatedly.

“Faster Keisuke, please!” I cried out, and he obliged. Soon after that I felt another wave of pleasure threatening to swallow me whole. Just as I started crying out his name again, he moaned into my hair and finished, slowing his thrust leading us both through our orgasms. Once he stopped, our eyes locked in the mirror once more, I didn’t know if I had it in me to smile at him. His cock slid out of me and he took off the condom and threw it away, spinning me around to kiss me with all the energy he had left. I had half a mind to thank him, but I couldn’t form words anymore, I just grabbed his hand and led him back into my bedroom, cuddling into him on the bed. 

~

“Yuna?”

“Hmmm?”

“Are you okay?”

Turning around to face him, I caressed his face, taking in his loose hair, soft eyes, slightly protruding canines, and soft lips. I wanted to look at him forever, there’s something arresting about his face making me incapable of looking away. 

“Why do you ask?” Was he overthinking this whole night? Is he trying to make me start kicking him out so he doesn’t have to make the first move?

“You haven’t said a word since…since we fucked in the bathroom.” His tone was that of worry. 

“I think… you may have taken every ounce of energy that I had saved for conversation,” I said with a giggle, “I came twice before that, and then three times in the bathroom. A girl needs to breathe and rest.”

His smile returned, lighting his face up, I just had to close the distance between us and kiss him softly. 

“How are you feeling?” I wondered, gently caressing his arm.

“Completely empty. I feel like all my worries and stress just,” he made a floating gesture with his hand, “disappeared.” 

“I think we both deserve some sleep, don’t you agree?”

He looked into my eyes as if to read them again, then rolled me over, pressed me into his form, and softly whispered good night.

I grabbed my phone only to be met with a few messages from Mai:

Mai Darling, 2:30

hope you’re not dead because Hana said there’s another party in 2 weeks and she’ll kill us if we don’t come

Mai Darling, 3:15

ok you’re either dead and i have to clean up the apartment of your blood or you’re still fucking and i hope to everything holy it’s the latter and i don’t have to get the blood out of the carpet

Mai Darling, 4:45

i’m gonna choose to believe you’re so fucked out you can’t even pick up your phone. get it girl. Message me when you can though

Yunaaaaasty, 5:20

alive but barely. came five times. hurts my brain to think we have work today. see you soon.

Mai Darling, 5:21

YESSSSSSSS i knew that little bastard had it in him…or more accurately he had it in you! ;)

i’m home around 9, prepare the report and i’m making us some coffee for that piping hot tea

What a weirdo. My eyelids closed to the soft sound of Keisuke’s light snores. 

~

With a start, my eyelids flew open to quickly switch off the alarm before it woke up Keisuke. With a groan, he flipped over to his back, hand reaching over to try and locate his phone. He sat up to rummage through the pile of clothes we left on the floor to fish it out of his pocket. 

“Ah, shit. I have work in a few hours,” he looked over at me and smiled, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t stay a tiny bit longer. That is, if you want me here?” His eyes were full of hope.

I pulled him towards me and caught him in a kiss, his hand started wandering underneath the sheets, grabbing my boobs, hips, thighs, pulling me closer. Every time he squeezed me a moan escaped my mouth into his, which seemed to make him more eager each time.

His hands travelled down to my pussy and started to softly spread my folds, ghosting over my clit with each move. In an attempt to get more friction, I started to roll my hips on his hand, desperately trying to unravel the bundle of tension already forming in my belly. He smirked and probed my entrance with a finger, catching the gasp coming out of my mouth with his own. 

I was already reaching back into the drawer to fish out another condom, expecting another round, when his mouth left mine to trail kisses and nibbles down my neck to my collarbone while his other hand was holding my neck. Am I getting into this? His hands are so pretty that I kind of want them around my neck for a little longer. 

“How are you so amazing at this?” I squeezed out between moans. He chuckled, “It’s a curse.”

“Then please curse me again.”

His head snapped up and we locked eyes. Grabbing the condom from my hand he got in my face, “Only because you asked me nicely, gorgeous.”

This time his thrusts were slower, towering over me, leaning on his elbows, his hair fell into my face, smelling of his shampoo and my perfume mixed together. Citrusy and sweet. I hoped the pillow he had slept on kept the scent a little bit longer. His eyes were focused on my face, following every hitched breath as he hit my sensitive spot with every move.

My insides squeezed his length with the desire to keep him inside a bit longer, the slow and lazy motions we were going through seemed very fitting with the chilly morning air coming in through the open window. As fast and rough as last night’s sex was, this morning’s sex was gentle, careful, and deliberate. My hands were firmly planted on his back, nails scratching slowly. I was soon brought to my peak again, this time it wasn’t sudden and needy, but slow and sure. 

“Keisuke I’m close,” I moaned right into his ear, which seemed to set off something in him as his pupils dilated and his movements became needier. Like he’ll drop through the ground into the centre of the Earth if he doesn’t chase our orgasms. 

“Say it again,” he squeezed out through his moans.

“Keisuke! I’m so close, keep it going please!”

“More,” his voice was desperate, his eyes were squeezed shut with concentration.

“Please I need you, Keisuke! You feel so good, you’re making me cum!”

With a cry, we finished in sync and he dropped on top of me, barely breathing just like me. He pulled out slowly and discarded the condom, pushing his hair back from his face. 

“How many times was that?” 

“This was my sixth, but it felt more intense than the ones before.”

The look on his face was that of beaming pride and bliss. “Not bad for one night,” he said with a wink, “but I’m afraid I have to get going if I want to at least shower before work.”

“Where do you work?” Considering how much we talked throughout the night, I didn’t get this important piece of information. Sure, now I knew what his life goals were, how old he was when he broke his first tooth, and how many bikes he had crashed in his childhood, but somehow his place of employment hadn’t popped up.

“Pet zone. The one next to the main square.” He raked his fingers through his hair, leaving me in awe of his lean body and toned arms. He started putting his clothes back on, so I got up to find a new pair of underwear and an oversized T-shirt. 

Now that we were both dressed, we met in the middle of the room with another deep kiss, this time he pulled me into a hug. Huh, we had fucked 3 times and I fed him, but we just hugged for the first time. I could’ve just melted in his arms, but the sound of the front door unlocking made me step away and see him to the door. 

Mai walked in with a big smile on her face and a bag of groceries.

“Good morning sleepyhead, time to start on breakfast!” She said with too much energy for both of us. 

“Actually, I have to get going or I won’t make it to work,” with a quick kiss to my lips, he started for the door.

Mai turned to him as if wondering what he was still doing there.

“Okay, great seeing you, Kazuki,” she said with a smile.

“Likewise, Mirei.”

She frowned slightly, “It’s Mai.”

He smirked, “It’s Keisuke.” He winked at me and closed the door behind him.

Mai turned to me with a grin, “I like him, he can take a joke. Right,” she clapped her hands, marching into the kitchen, “I’m making coffee, you’re getting ready to spill everything. Apart from the coffee, of course.”

With sleep still in my eyes, I made for my bedroom to put the books and papers back onto the desk and let some more air in, since the whole room smelled of sex. As I raked through my hair, I realised his hair tie was still in my hair, I wondered if he left it with me on purpose.

[katyawriteswhump]

Bed of Roses (steddie love month, day 17)

For @steddielovemonth, Day 17 prompt: Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost (@yournowheregirl ) Thank you <3

Rating: M. CW: prostitution, unwanted kink/abuse/pet-names (NOT between Steddie) alcoholism, substance abuse. Tags: rockstar Eddie, rent-boy Steve, make-up fic, angst, shameless perversion of Bon Jovi lyrics. WC: 2,000.

...

“'Cause a bottle of vodka's still lodged in my head…”

In his dressing room, pre-show, Eddie grasped his second bottle of vodka in an unsteady hand.

“…and some blonde gave me nightmares; I think that she’s still in my bed.”

This was NOT GOOD. Eddie had gotten sap-fest Bon Jovi lyrics slithering around his brain. He couldn’t for the life of him remember his own lyrics.

“Hey, Amigo,” he announced to the vodka. “I got a venue of ten thousand to entertain, and you’re literally my Obi-Wan—my only hope.” He caressed the bottle’s label. “80% proof, huh, Baby?” 

I’m serious, Eddie, you’ve had enough. You WANT to follow Kurt Cobain into the 27-Club?

Riiiight. That was not a Bon Jovi lyric. That sounded more like Steve Harrington, in sensible-parent mode, hands planted on his slender hips.

The tears struck fast. Eddie clonked the bottle onto the dressing table then followed it, pressing his heavy head to the glass.

He seriously didn’t want to die. However, he was so through with this life. Of any life, without Steve. The cavity where his heart once lay veered between grating emptiness and an unbearable pain. 

His fingers twitched toward the bottle. Screw it, the show must go on, and he’d lost his only light in the darkness…

“… as I dream about movies, they won't make of me when I'm dead.” 

That still wasn’t one of his own darn lyrics. In fact, he couldn’t remember a single goddamn word of any of Corroded Coffin’s songs.

A sharp knock on the dressing-room door had him squealing like a little piggy. An old guy poked his head in.

“Who the hell are you?”

“You hired me, Mr Munson. Dirk Gordon—Private Dick?” 

“Ah… Yeah, so I did.” Eddie’s rotten heart hammered way too fast. “Have you..?"

“Yes, Mr Munson. I believe I’ve found him.”

…

“What do you mean, you're not gonna pay me?” Steve wrapped his arms tight around himself. The only heating in his boss’s rundown office came from the guy’s endless chain of cigarettes. “I spent the whole evening simpering at that old dragon. You told me she liked music—I talked music endlessly.”

“You yammered on about some death-metal garbage. She likes Wagner.”

Steve wrinkled his nose. “What’s Wagner? That crusty old film-star?”

“Oh, Steve, Steve, Steve. What am I gonna do with you?” His boss sauntered around the desk and hooked an arm around him.

Jesus, you stink.

“You’re good-looking, kid, you’re charming, but you simply can’t cut it with that kind of high-end client.”

“She seemed happy.” Steve shrugged his shoulders, failing to shake the guy off him. “She paid you, right?”

“Not the full whack, and you got a fancy meal out of the bitch. Look, I’ll give you your cut, if you do better tonight.”

He squeezed the back of Steve’s neck. Steve tried not to shudder. When his boss produced a piece of paper and wedged it down the back of Steve’s skin-tight jeans, he stopped trying to hide his revulsion.

“Details are all there. He’s a banking exec, early forties—no more dinners and dances with Doris, you’re spending the night at his house.”

A dry lump clogged Steve’s throat. “Is he gonna want..?”

“Sex? Christ on a bike, what trade do you think you’re in?” He squeezed Steve’s butt.

“Jesus fu—” Steve bit his lip, fixed on his damp sneakers. 

“Believe me, Steve, your hair ain’t your best asset. You’re gonna have to sell that plump lil’ ass for real, sooner or later.”

Steve flinched, then schooled his features as blankly as he could. 

“This guy’s got a few kinks, but as Johns go, he’s a pussycat.” He lifted Steve’s drooping chin with his knuckles. “Show him what ya got, Sport.”

Steve couldn’t get out into the drab morning fast enough. He retrieved the paper from his underwear, shoved it in a pocket unread, then stumbled, zombie-like, into a diner. “Black coffee, please? It’s an emergency.” 

The waitress smiled. “You want breakfast, Steve?”

He shook his head, though his stomach grumbled.

He ended up slumped on the table, his face pillowed in his arms. Christ, ‘male escort’ had never seemed like a great idea, but he’d figured the pay would beat waiting tables. So how come he was still behind on his rent, and that he still couldn’t afford to eat some days, let alone buy his pain meds?

He muffled a miserable laugh in his elbow. He genuinely wished he could afford to get smashed, get high, because nothing could fill that gaping black hole of pain. Even worse, one of his fave Bon Jovi songs was playing on the radio, and SO not helping:

“Tonight I won't be alone, but you know that don't mean I'm not lonely.” Shit! He was fighting back dumbass tears already. “I got nothing to prove, for it’s you I’d die to defend.”

Why the hell did he run away? He can’t recall any reason that mattered anymore. “I’m sorry, Eddie,” he mumbled. “I miss you so much.”

Somebody touched his elbow, and he jolted up. “Sorry, hon,’” said the waitress, “we need this table for dine-in customers.”

“Right.” Steve swiped any tell-tale moisture from his cheekbones.  “I’ll clear outta your way.”

...

“Ready for playtime, Bunny Rabbit?”

Steve’s skin crawled, and his face burned. He’d gotten his head in the client’s lap, and the guy was playing with his hair. It would be tolerable, he guessed, if he’d not so often laid in Eddie’s lap like this, and… Christ, Eddie! Steve shut out the unwanted touching and began to drift. He was so beyond tired. And that song from the diner crept back:

“Now as you close your eyes, know I'll be thinking about you. While my mistress—she calls me to stand in her spotlight again…”

The pinch on his cheek startled Steve back to the present. “You kipping there, Bunny Rabbit?”

“Uh… er, sorry, Daddy.” Uuuuuuurgh! “Whatever you want, Daddy.” He dared sit up. “I’ll grab a condom and, uh… stuff.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” When Steve went to rise, his arm was grabbed, and he was held in place. “I don’t like rubbers, Cutie.”

“You heard of this thing called AIDS?” Dipshit!

Steve wrenched his arm free. The guy raised his hand and slapped him. Which wasn’t exactly out-of-the-blue, because face-slapping had been listed among this repellent son-of-a-bitch’s kinks.

“I’m paying top whack for you.” He leaned over Steve, suddenly kinda huge and scary, not least because Steve now saw double. “Your pimp said you were clean, so I’m gonna have you any way I like.”

“I… uh…” Steve kicked the bastard’s shin and shoved him hard. “Go to hell, asshole.” 

He fled out into the night, still dizzy from the blow. He pulled his mesh vest back on over his head. The icy wind bit, and he realised he’d left his only jacket behind.

“Jesus Christ! JESUS CHRIST!” He kicked a lamppost, holding back on venting the true force of his feelings. Still hurt.

He limped off up the street, fast as he could. The ache in his toes at least distracted him from the ringing in his ears. An hour later, he stumbled around the corner of his block, thinking only of throwing himself into his bed, while he still had one.

He was so close, when the hairs on the back of his neck stood suddenly on end. Through the haze of his exhaustion, he realised a car crawled up the gutter behind him.

Had Mr Happy-Slappy-Sleazebag come after him? Then again, Steve’s pursuer could be anybody. After all, he was walking through a red-light district, shivering his ass off.  Dressed like the whore I am. Hahaha!

The car pulled up right beside him. A blacked-out window rolled down.

Steve ran, turning sharp up a dark alley, then… Shit, shit, SHIT AGAIN! He was only a hundred yards from his digs, and yet he was so messed-up that he’d sprinted up a dead-end.

He nearly kicked the bricks. Instead, he punched them, as if that would blast through the solid wall. He turned about, bit his grazed fist, and sank slowly onto his haunches. 

Two figures approached up the alley, silhouetted against the lights of the street behind. Get up, Harrington! GET UP! His legs wouldn’t obey, and his breaths came only as rapid gasps. Nothing felt real anymore. Am I gonna die..? I’m gonna die!

A hand stretched out of the gloom.

Steve stared at it—at the familiar chunky silver rings, which couldn’t be real. He glanced up, and… wtf? It was Eddie, apart from it wasn’t Eddie. This dude looked more like Eddie’s ghost. Steve’s eyes fluttered closed.

Maybe I scored some Benzos after all, and totally ODd.

“Stevie?”

No mistaking that voice. If this was a trip, it was a good one. Steve pried an eye open, and Eddie’s hand was still there. Steve took it, let it help him to his feet, because… Why not? Suddenly, they were in each other’s arms, clasping each other tightly. This is real. You’re real!  Eddie reeked of booze, and also of something devastatingly comforting and familiar. Somebody’s wretched sobs shook through them both.

“I’m s-sorry.” Steve sounded broken. “I-I honestly don't know why I left anymore. I was such an idiot.”

“No. I was the idiot. I’m sorry, too. So very fucking sorry.” Eddie sniffed hard, lifted his tear stained cheek from Steve’s shoulder. “I’ve not been doing so good without you.”

Steve blinked the moisture from his vision. He wondered if he looked as wrecked as Eddie—red-eyed and waxy pale, under the distant glimmer of the streetlamps. Probably. If he hadn't leaned against Eddie, his legs would’ve given out again.

He laughed, without knowing why. Eddie laughed too, and it warmed Steve’s soul. “Gonna be honest, Eddie—not been doing so good without you, either.”

…

When Eddie got out of rehab, Steve waited on the steps of the clinic, hand stretched out to take his. He pulled Eddie close, and then into a sweet, lingering kiss that renewed Eddie more thoroughly than even a lengthy booze-free sleep.

“I’m never going through that again,” said Eddie, his lips still brushing against Steve’s.

Not least because I never ever want to be parted from you again, even for a fortnight.

“Yeah, but you’re dry, Eddie, and you’re alive. I’d say that’s goddamn metal of you.”

They started back to the car, hands still clasped tightly. “Not gonna take credit, Stevie. You’re what got me through.”

“You might’ve got me out of a fix, so we’re even.” Steve’s sigh rode on a wistful sadness. “I mean, I was so lost. Thinking of you was all that kept me… I dunno, alive, I guess. You know, I kept on thinking about that Bon Jovi song.”

“Uh, you know how I feel about Bon J—"

Too late. Steve burst into song: “Well, I'm so far away, each step that I take is on my way home. A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night to see through this pay-phone—”

Eddie pressed fingers to his boyfriend’s parted lips. “As much as I hate cutting you off in your prime—two teensy-weensy issues. Firstly, I had no idea where you were, and you never called! Second, what’s wrong with my blood-and-death drenched lyrics?”

Steve took Eddie’s fingers and kissed them: “Hurt too much to think about them.”

“You know what, Sweetheart? Hurt too much to sing them, without you around. Even though none of them are actually love songs.” Eddie raised his gaze to the heavens, and looped his arms around Steve. “Go figure.”

“You sure they’re not love songs? C’mon—they’re all secretly about me, right? Only coded or something. I’ll crack it one day.”

Steve’s gently mocking smile destroyed him, in the best possible way. They tumbled into a French kiss, and he resigned himself willingly to the only thing that mattered: 

“And the truth is… Baby, you’re all that I need.”

...

Thanks for reading <3 Likes, comments and reblogs always much appreciated :)

(also part of my steve whump fic series on ao3).

[snamioneasks]

Hi, are there any fics where Snape and Hermione are both professors at hogwarts after the war. Or fics where snape is a known spy during the wars and him and Hermione have to work together? TIA

fics where snape is a known spy during the wars and him and Hermione have to work together

There are several - I actually love this trope! There is a subset of them that rewrite the last two or three books. I have listed the ones I know in these two posts: here and here.

Other fics that have them working together, but don't necessarily rewrite the books:

Memento Amori by Olethros - M, 17 chapters - COMPLETE. SSHG. A vicious attack leaves Hermione Granger unable to form new memories. Now she and Severus Snape must work together on a weapon that could destroy Voldemort. Yet how can she trust him when her past is unknown and her present uncertain?

Before the Dawn by snarkyroxy - M, 49 chapters - In her seventh year, a latenight discovery changes Hermione Granger’s view on a great many things. Severus Snape is just one of them. Complete.

The Problem with Purity by Phoenix.Writing - M, 62 chapters - As Hermione, Harry, and Ron are about to begin their seventh and final year at Hogwarts, they learn some surprising and dangerous information regarding what it means to be Pure in the wizarding world. HG/SS with H/D. AU after OotP. When A Lioness Fights by kayly silverstorm - M, 80 chapters - Hermione Granger, master spy, and Severus Snape, spymaster to the Order. An unlikely partnership, forged to defeat the Dark Lord on his own ground. But to do so, they must confront their own darkness within. Spying, torture, angst and love. AU after fifth

The Professor’s Discretion by Twelve Years in Azkaban - T, 22 chapters - The only thing keeping Hermione out of trouble and Harry Potter alive is... the Professor's Discretion. AU.

fics where Snape and Hermione are both professors at hogwarts after the war

This isn't a trope that I read a lot (I love A Light in the Fog, though), but I'll list some fics I've seen recommended over the years. Also, check out our Hermione Granger: Professor tag.

A Light in the Fog by turtlewexler - M, 29 chapters - The last thing Severus remembers is overhearing a prophecy in a dingy, goat-scented pub. Now there’s a James Potter clone with Lily’s eyes, a much aged McGonagall, and an infuriatingly familiar woman with wild hair all saying he is not a loyal Death Eater. Looking in a mirror proves that he is, indeed, suddenly pushing fifty. All in all, not his best day. AU, EWE. *COMPLETE*

A Murder of Crows by Hogwarts 91 - M, 33 chapters - 14 yrs post-war: Hermione’s teaching at Hogwarts when an un-aged Snape awakens from stasis and returns to the school. Sparks fly when they meet. Can they learn to trust and love in time to defeat an evil plot bent on changing the wizarding world forever?

The sound of silence by Ellemphriem - M, 36 chapters - When Professor Granger appeared at Hogwarts as the new Potion Mistress, she wasn’t expecting to be the temporary guardian of a beautiful and highly charismatic child. Neither was she expecting that child to draw close to her a lonely man who was encased in forced silence. This man slowly showed her that silence had a deafening sound, if you listened close enough.

The Fine Art of Fine Print by Mundungus42 - M, 8 chapters - Hogwarts’ headmistress threatens the integrity of the school with her reforms, so the Minister sends his most talented Unspeakable undercover to bring her down from within. What Hermione finds will change her life forever. SSHG

The Charms of Hermione Granger by SallySlytherin - M, 19 chapters - Hermione returns to Hogwarts as the new Charms Professor. She’s determined to befriend Severus Snape, whether he likes it or not.

[nightfall-1409]

Oops so that was a while!

Nightfall Update ahead of the holidays! (and a push for myself to, blog again). some details under the cut but tl;dr it's been a while but im back here and trying to be back here! with new stuff! And updates to certain things too damn!

Rough year for me! Probably for many people really :(

good stuff first

uhhh biggest news is that through all the bullshit i was able to participate in the clone bang. The last 6 weeks of my life have been so stressful bc I had to write like 80% of the damn fic. It's a 125k monster of a fic that i feel quite proud of, the last 45k of it was written in literally the last two weekends. upcoming details in a promo post as soon as I hear back from my last artist <3

With that, though, my creative writing juices thoroughly uh. revitalized. to recovene followers: ezra chapter is coming soon :) that was a mean cliffhanger, i did not expect for my brain to literally commit mutiny :( sorry

I hope to have that done before bang posting starts (December baby here we come)

uhhhh only other thing is I am attending sanfrancisco expo ! lookin forward 2 that as well.

some generalized health stuff. the heat stroke i suffered last year was apparently maybe not a heat stroke (noted by the fact I was consistently worsening) and that sentence is still terrifying to me bc as i recall i couldnt fuckin read or turn around without wanting to fall over for like a month and a half there. But. whatever. It was a slow decline for a while, I was still getting some stuff out, but eventually, the amt of pain i was in overwhelmed me in june n it consumed me whole from july - august with slow improvement happening from then on.

it took me. quite a long time to see a specialist (and it was originally going to be longer! haha!) , but i've been seen. and am on treatment. and it sucks bc flashing lights still kill me (including literally shadows of the setting sun through a line of trees and a CEILING FAN are you KIDDING ME) and migraines r like. my best most toxic friend <3 it's so overrrr. We do not know what happened beyond my facial nerves just deciding to go balling insane. L. or what started that. L. But its finally getting better!! yay. we're so back.

to the ppl who've reached out 2 me / tagged me / putstuff in my inbox in ao3 or thought about me ;w; bro.. thank you !!! it killed me all the time bc it was like. I wanted to participate!! I want to have fun!! but the amt of energy things took. insane. but it was nice to be thought abt regardless. I want to be back now and have fun again. have a lovely night <3

[asurrogateblog]

Cannibals, Pirates, and PhDs: How Did I Get Here?

I mentioned in some tags earlier that I’ve only actually been a real fan of Pink Floyd for under a year, and that the confluence of events that led up to it is pretty absurd. Some interest seemed to be taken in this, so I though I’d elaborate.

I didn’t know how to shorten this timeline and have it make any sense, so it’s... long. But idk, I think it’s pretty funny. If you’re nosy like I am this is for you.

My Backstory Timeline:

early childhood: my parents essentially mainline me and my little sister with The Beatles. I know almost no songs written past the 70’s until at least sixth grade. I develop a childhood crush on Paul McCartney, a joke that the universe really decides to play the long game on.

2014: my dad calls me over one night, and gravely tells me he’s been waiting to share something until I’m old enough. I brace myself to be told about sex or secret half-siblings. Instead, he tells me I need to listen to The Wall. Irritated at the idea of wasting an hour and half of my night, I nevertheless comply and go up to my room and put it on. I do not come back from this, clearly having inherited some sort of generational curse.

Around the same time, I am also secretly watching Hannibal every time my parents send me upstairs because Game of Thrones is “too gory”. This will trigger three important things: an interest in psychology, a love of horror media, and a classical music phase will train my attention span to last well past the three minute mark.

2014-2023: Over the intervening years, I become a casual fan of Pink Floyd, but make a deliberate point not to learn anything about the band. I like being able to imagine my own meanings for the songs. Also, I am motivated against this by a childhood memory of being deeply frightening by a picture of old Paul McCartney (LOL). I do not want that to ever happen again, so no learning.

Cut to April of 2023: I am finishing up my first year of my PhD program studying media psychology. I am in a bad place mentally, and am going through another horror movie phase to fill the hole. As a result, I get very into American Psycho. The main character, Patrick Bateman, is a fan of superficial 80’s pop music, particularly Genesis. I decide to start listening to Genesis to see if I agree with his tastes. While researching “best Genesis albums”, I come across The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I listen to it, and am blown away. I had no idea that the Phil Collins band made music like that. This sends me down the prog-rock rabbit hole. I still won't learn any lore.

Summer of 2023: MEANWHILE, I am also going through another pirate phase. I have a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of 18th century piracy (and am still quite active in the Black Sails fan community). Around this time, I get really obsessed with this one random guy named Dennis McCarthy who was hanged in 1718.

I decide to work poor Dennis into a science fiction story I’ve been working on. The premise is essentially that the universe is an abandoned simulation, and a ‘glitch in the matrix’ starts to, among other things, bring people from the wrong time periods back to life. The format of the story is vaguely monster-of-the-week, in which the characters have to solve various problems caused by mistakes in the code. I think, “hey, you know what would be perfect for this? that fanfic I wrote about The Wall in high school.” Said fic (which that stupid fucking beatles movie stole from me) is about a world in which Pink Floyd never existed, but a wannabe rock-star discovers a box full of their records and decides to copy them. While he is touring his plagiarized version of The Wall, he realizes that the events of the album are starting to happen to him in real life. By working this concept into my new story, I go through another one of my periodical The Wall phases. It's in full swing when fall rolls around.

September of 2023: This semester, I take a grad-level narrative theory class in the English department. I decide it would be helpful to follow along with a specific example, so I choose The Wall. Using the terminology I am learning in the class, I start to realize that The Wall is…. incredibly narratologically fucked up. To help orient me, I watch the bootleg concert recordings, and the trick with the surrogate band sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore.

This is where the two plot-lines converge. I don’t remember which came first, but around this same time, I think to myself “hey, if Genesis was hiding such an incredible album under the 80’s pop, what must Pink Floyd be hiding?” On that whim, I put on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which equally sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore. I needed to know what the fuck happened to get them from Piper to The Wall.

September-November: In the two months between the onset of this and finally making another sideblog, I dedicate all of my free time to learning as much about Pink Floyd as humanely possible (and writing a 20 page essay for that narrative theory class). As you can imagine, this is a lot to unpack all at once for someone who didn’t even know who Roger or Syd or any of the rest of them were. Luckily, I am over-educated enough to be a very fast learner. Aside from the band lore itself, I of course also fall in love with the rest of Pink Floyd's discography musically-speaking. Having this interest to latch onto genuinely pulls me out of my depression.

Cut to February 2024: I am really enjoying myself, and want to keep this going as long as possible, but I am starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel on Pink Floyd lore. I decide I need to feed the fire by supplementing with lore from another band. The Beatles seem to have a strong fan presence on tumblr, why not revisit a childhood favorite? The universe laughs at my expense.

That about brings us up to date. I have gone through so much character development over the last eight months, it’s crazy. Pink Floyd is definitely one of those things that is less of a “phase” and more of a permanent part of my mindscape. Weirdly enough, since I am studying media psychology, all of this has also been really good for my career? I never took an interest in -real- media figures (as opposed to fictional characters) before, and I feel like I have a much clearer sense of things now. It's definitely influenced my research, so whatever domino effect this has on my future is bound to get even funnier.

Anyway, that’s my backstory!

[toomuchsmoshbrainrot]

SEPTEMBER IS HALF OVER, SMOSHBLR FIC WRITERS!

You know what that means...

the -tobers are upon us!

October is a stacked month in the fic writing communities, and I will always encourage more participation.

Tags for each event (prompt lists can be found here):

Angstober Flufftober Kinktober Whumptober

If you want to officially participate, the prompt lists are in the tags, but you can participate without doing the actual challenge. You don't have to write every day, you don't have to follow the prompts...

I'm sort of the champion of whump fic in this fandom (despite not having published any yet, I've been working on this project for months, and actively encourage others to create whump fic.) It might not seem like your thing because you also might notice that Whumptober usually contains abuse or torture themes, but that's not necessary either. There is also whumperless/environmental whump, where it's their situation that gets them sick or injured, and not another person. This is the kind I prefer writing. For me, it's all about the caretaker phase of it all. Break a few legs. Bruise a few hands. It's lowkey kinda fun.

I'm unofficially participating in Whumptober (in that I started writing before prompts even existed and there's no way I'm submitting all 31 days, I only have 15 chapters so far.)

My fic is currently measuring at 36,230 words, and 80 pages in the document.

Oops, I think I'm enjoying hurting the faves a little too much. :P

That being said, while I definitely want y'all to join me for Whumptober, there are plenty of events to choose from. Feel free to participate in any of them.

Happy writing! See you on October 1st!

[broomsticks]

What was the HP fandom on AO3 writing in 2022?

some stats diving, ship- and femslash-focused.

default filters used for everything unless indicated otherwise: language: english, no crossovers. only on AO3 (obviously)

hmm someday i'll do a yearly breakdown maybe.

for reference, there were ~324,676 total works in the HP tag updated in 2022 and before, so the top ship Drarry makes up 16% of HP works.

ships in this list but not the former: jegulus, dorlene, and regulus & sirius.

ships in the former list but not this one: snarry, sevmione, tomarry.

harry the character is tagged in 42.7% of all HP works.

the list of "fastest-growing HP character tags in 2022" was almost identical to this. sirius, remus, james, and lily went up one place, severus and ginny down by one, and ron dropped by two. no change in the top 3.

i'm thinking of doing one for HP ships but am unsure which ships to do. you can get a rough estimation from graph #2 though!

A closer look at just the 2022 ships:

filters used: english, no crossovers, works updated between 2022-01-01 and 2022-12-31.

color = ship type by canonical gender. outlined = canon ship

Background vs main pairing ships:

most commonly tagged ships, with the otp:true filter:

very pretty spread of (canon gender, not AO3 category) F/M & M/M ships here.

notable: there is not a single snape ship in the first list, and two snape ships in the second (sevmione at #4 !! and snarry at #8). grindeldore is the other new entry, and

romione, dorlene and regulus & sirius fell out of the top 10

this is probably a better view though:

a mix of all ships in either of the top two graphs (excluding the platonic ship regulus & sirius by definition of the otp:true filter), plus remadora.

open to more ship suggestions, but at some point i need to think about a size cutoff

anyway: some interesting strata here:

snarry+sevmione at the >60-70% mark. (do all snape ships show this trend? just crossgen snape ships? what about other crossgen ships? to be investigated)

grindeldore is an expected outlier due to the different canonical time period

marauders era tends to have more fics-with-multiple-tagged-ships. unexpected - there are so many more named lightning gen characters! lightning gen fandom more splintered/fragmented?

clustering of canon couples at the 15-20% mark, surprisingly consistent across marauders vs lightning gen

oooooo i could soapbox about this dorlene outlier for days. (tldr: if you want to write OFCxOFC that's all well and good, but writing OFCxOFC as what's quite clearly a background ship and a background ship alone? i think we can do better.)

Multi-shipping & ship overlap

marauders era is dominated by one main fanon pairing. no other “/” pairing with either of these two characters makes the top 10 list. in contrast, wrt lightning gen, Draco, Harry, and Hermione are all shipped with each other, with all three combinations making the top 10 list.

there is one pair of marauders era ships with ship overlap, though. which means stats! also included remadora as an additional comparison point since that's another big overlapping ship

jegulus AND jily are tagged in 675 works, out of 3944 works (17%) where all three of james, lily, and regulus are tagged.

meanwhile drarry + dramione: 80 works tagging both ships, out of 8128 works tagging all 3 characters, with an overlap of <1% fics tagging both ships. these two do not mix.

actually ykw this all was very funny

---

✨ FEMSLASH! ✨

filters used: english, no crossovers, works updated between 2022-01-01 and 2022-12-31, and category:F/F.

ok so that's a complete nonstarter 😂

tried two ways of filtering down to just femslash ships without losing too much else in the process:

1) excluding works tagged M/M, F/M, and Gen (leaving 2765 fics)

dashed outline = cross-gen ship. solid = marauders gen. everything else = lightning gen.

oh, interesting, people are writing genderbend wolfstar? *checks fics* -- no they're not. 'nuff said.

2) instead, tried adding the otp:true filter (2402 fics)

very similar results -- both lists had the same 9 femslash ships. Bellamione (#1 on both), Fleurmione (#2), Pansmione (#3/#4), Dorlene (#3/#5), Linny (#4/#6), Cissamione (#5/#6), Ginmione (#7/#9), Marylily (#7/#9), Ginsy (#8/#10).

i don't see any obvious trends re. which ships are ranked higher on one list vs the other.

a real quick rating comparison between categories, using the otp:true filter:

"angst" and "fluff" were the top two tags used for most categories so i decided to try a bit of:

<1 = more angst works than fluff, >1 = more fluff works than angst.

the other top tags for each category:

F/F and F/M: both romance (#3)

M/M: established relationship (#3)

Multi: polyamory (#3)

Other: au canon divergence (#3). "other" was used to refer to a mix of NB/trans character, thingfic, and x reader.

Gen: au canon divergence (#1). i was worried about using the otp:true filter for gen fic but the top two tags were indeed & tags (harry & severus, regulus & sirius).

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 13

welcome the the tenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. i was always yours (even before you knew it) by paladarns

Lance thought Keith was just an asshole. Lance has always thought of Keith as an asshole, all throughout traveling into space in a large mechanical lion, all throughout bonding moments. All throughout becoming closer as teammates and friends.

Even now, with his hands pinned above his head and Keith’s thighs straddling his waist, Lance thinks Keith is an asshole.

Lance had always thought he could see right through people, but now he’s starting to think he has a bad judgement of people.

---------- a fic in which keith is obvious and lance is a bit of a gay nervous wreck

takes place as if season 1 is the only season to exist but its now years later

so many things to love about this fic. so so many. so i am going to list them. a) secret relationship bc i love that shit and eat it up every time, b) ‘takes place as if season 1 is the only season to exist but its now years later’ -- paladarns my love thank you for this truly excellent description of where i write my fics like 80% of the time. c) keith has game, and d)  HE WAS ALWAYS KEITHS EVEN BEFORE HE KNEW IT IM SOBBING BEST TROPE BEST TROPE

2. Wake Up, Sleephyhead! by @transbakugou

Keith has never loved someone like he loves Lance. Lance is his sun, his stars, his happiness. Their hands fit together like they were created to do nothing but hold each other, and he fits perfectly inside of Lance's arms. But he can never let anyone find out how much he loves this boy, how wholly and endlessly. Who knows what the Galra would do with that kind of information?

One morning, the lie comes crashing down around them.

Maybe it won't be as bad as they feared.

i love gay whipped klance and truly every single fic that has ever been written based on a vine is truly amazing, this fic is no exception. also secret relationship lol i am a sucker

3. Something Secret by @kingswriting

It was funny at first. Their arguments became more banter than actual disagreements, yet the entire team continued to assume they were at each other’s throats.

And Lance knows they’re not. He is fully aware that every sharp word, every sly smirk, every heavy handed push, and everything in between is anything but malicious.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss the softer side of things.

Or, Lance and Keith are in a secret relationship, but honestly want to omit the 'secret' part.

okay u can always tell what tag im following obsessively at certain times lol. for yall i present yet another secret relationship fic. ahem. this one is cute! banter and flirting and misleading and kisses and GOD its so sweet

4. Things Held Sacred by yarrie

So maybe, just maybe, Pidge was right. Maybe, just maybe, Keith had shot himself in the foot with his first attempt at resolving the blanket-hogging situation, because now Lance seemed to think it was a game and the rules were: steal the blankets, get sex.

To be fair, Keith hadn't exactly been...dissuading him very well.

okay so heres how this works. every fic rec friday so far has been from a specific collection of mine called ‘rereadables’, which was literally started because of this fic. i dont even know what specific part of this fic gets to me so hard, but you know when you read something that makes your stomach go all swoopy? and you can’t stop smiling? thats this fic! i remember i finished it for the first time and then i scrolled right back up to the top and read it again, then again, and again. like i cannot get over this fic. it gives me butterflies every time

5. Communication is key, they say by @ellana17

They already had communication issues before… Or: a malfunction with a healing pod leaves Lance able to speak only Spanish for a few days.

the idea of lance getting stuck in spanish and then almost immediately using that to flirt with keith without him knowing. like. i love that SO much that is quite possibly one of the funniest concepts to exist

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!