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justsomerandomfanfic · 11 months ago

Text

We Have Time - Tenth Doctor X GN Reader

Title: We Have Time

Tenth Doctor X GN Reader

Additional Characters: Edgar Allen Poe? (Mentioned)

WC: 2,368

Warnings: Reader has overwhelming thoughts?, depression?, Tenth Doctor may be ooc idk, flirting?, banter, sad thoughts, thoughts of death, crying, comfort, slight angst, and fluff

The Doctor was worried. Worried about you. You were somewhere in the TARDIS, and he couldn't find you for the past two hours, seventeen minutes, and six seconds; not that he was counting or anything... For him, time wasn't an issue. But he had been wandering around the TARDIS, trying to find you. He felt as if he had checked every room. every nook and cranny. Every possible place. And yet, there was no sign of you anywhere in the TARDIS.

He almost felt like giving up, almost. But as he wandered down a corridor, and turned into the next room, he let out a breath he didn't even know that he was holding. There you were, sitting in a chair reading something. Only obvious, you were sitting in the TARDIS's library. There were multiple soft throw blankets spread on top of you, draped over your lap. You looked so tired, eyes blinking slowly. He tried to ignore the fluttering of his two hearts as he walked over to you, a small smile growing on his face.

He circled around you, stopping at the back of the plush armchair, your eyes never moving or lifting from the pages of the book in your hands. From what he could guess, the book had to be pretty entertaining for you to not even notice his approach. "What are you reading?" He finally spoke up, leaning to rest his forearms against the back of the chair, looking at the book in your hand and back to your face.

At his words, you jumped slightly, one hand coming up to your chest, breathing deeply and staring wide-eyed at him before you calmed down almost instantly. You cleared your throat, closing your book and pushing it away from you onto your lap, before speaking up, voice soft, but still full of emotion, "A book with some old poems in it." You smiled softly at him before grabbing the book and showing him the cover, making the Time Lord's eyes widen.

"Oh! The Tamerlane and Other Poems!" He looked back at you, "Did you know, Edgar Allen Poe gave me that copy when I met him?" He asked, and your jaw dropped.

"You met Edgar Allen Poe?" You asked, shocked. The Time Lord nodded, and you looked down at the book again before turning your head back to him. "What was he like?" You then asked as the Doctor pushed off of the back of the couch.

"Well, why don't you see for yourself?" He asked with his usual bright grin, walking out of the room as you scrambled to uncover yourself from the blankets.

Pushing past the doorway, you huffed, "Wait, Doctor!" He was already gone. Sighing deeply, you hurried to the control room, seeing him almost press a button. "Doctor... I think I want to stay in today..." You spoke, gaining his attention.

"Stay in? Do you not want to meet him?" He asked, a bit confused.

You leaned against the console, arms crossing, "I do, but not today... If that's alright... I mean, if you need to get out and move your feet, you can go somewhere without me."

With that, the Doctor shook his head, waving his hand in the air dismissively, "No, I don't want to go anywhere without you."

Your heart seemed to skip a beat at the Doctor's words, making the corner of your lips twitch slightly. "Are you sure?"

"Positively." He answered quickly, moving around to stand beside you, mimicking your stance. "It wouldn't be as fun if I went anywhere without my favorite human." He grinned down at you.

You met his gaze, unable to stop the smile from growing on your face as you shook your head, "I'm flattered." However, as you looked off in front of you, your smile dwindled, and the shine in your eyes dimmed.

The Doctor noticed this, this shift. He had noticed for the past couple of days how your mood would change. The Doctor wondered what was going on inside your mind, what your brain was telling you to cause you to fall into a sort of depression. He frowned, eyebrows wrinkling the middle of his forehead as he stared down at you, trying to figure out what was wrong. He knew better than to crawl into your mind and find out what, so he raked through his own mind for anything that he may have said or done in the past week, month, and year, but nothing came up. If it wasn’t him, then what was it?

Looking down, he watched as your fingers seemed to grip your upper arm from where you had them crossed against your chest, knuckles whitening under the pressure. "Is something wrong?" He finally asked, his voice low, concerned.

You shook your head slowly, looking up to meet his eyes, "Nope..." You answered quietly, you couldn't lie to him. He'd find out anyway. You quickly looked away, your throat threatening to close up as your eyes burned. Your hands clenched tighter, nails digging into your skin, as you fought the urge to cry. You couldn't tell him, you couldn't risk losing him. Not now, not ever. That just wasn't going to happen. You'd only be putting more pain on yourself.

For the past week and a half, you had been worrying about the future. You spent so many sleepless nights thinking about what would happen when you got older. Would the Doctor drop you off at home once you become a liability? You weren't like him, you were going to get older and become more weak. Soon you wouldn't be able to run as fast as you could now. You'd slow him down, and endanger him in the process. And if you die, when you die, the Doctor would end up alone. You didn't want him to be alone. After everything he went through, after everything, you never wanted him to be alone. He wasn't human, you would remind yourself often. And you were human. It broke your heart.

At your silence, the Doctor sighed, pulling you gently towards him, wrapping his arms around you, and resting his cheek on your head. You froze briefly before instantly melting into him. The Doctor pulled you closer, rubbing one of his hands up and down your back. "You don't have to, but I heard that talking about your feelings helps." He whispered, his voice barely above a whisper.

You took a deep breath, your cheek rubbing against the soft fabric of his dark brown suit. You shut your eyes, looping your arms tightly around his midsection, hearing the beating of one of his hearts. "My brain just won't shut up." You muttered, your voice thick with frustration and sadness as you buried your face in the crook of his neck. His scent, which usually made you feel calm, comforted you, and you found that it helped you relax and focus.

He hummed softly, stroking your hair as he moved to look around the TARDIS's control room in front of him, "You humans and your complicated, squishy brains..." He spoke softly, teasingly, which made him smile as he heard your small laugh.

"You shut up." You responded, muffled by his neck. He chuckled lightly, feeling your smile against the collar of his shirt. And after a moment, you finally spoke up again, "I can't stop thinking about the future..." You began, voice soft as you shifted, moving your head to rest your cheek back on his chest. The Doctor said nothing, allowing you to continue as he continued to run his fingers through your hair. "What's going to happen when I get older?" You asked, and the Doctor hummed.

"What do you mean, love?" He asked, awaiting your answer.

You let out a deep breath, albeit shaky. "I'm going to get old... Too old to travel with you anymore."

Your words sent the room into a cold silence. Everything seemed to freeze. The Doctor tensed immediately, and all color seemed to drain from his face. He opened his mouth to speak but found himself unable to utter a single sound. He couldn't help it though, every word that escaped him sounded like a death sentence. His mind raced with thoughts of you dying. Of having to watch your body grow weaker, thinner, and shorter. You were right, you would leave him. It was only a matter of time. 'Time? He had all the time in the universe with you.' The Doctor wanted to lie to himself, but he knew that it wasn't true. You were right. He'd be forced to watch your body wither away until there was nothing left of you. Though, in the back of his mind, he knew… He knew that this conversation was going to come up sooner or later. He’d admit to himself that he did think about it from time to time.

But the Doctor didn't want it to be true. He wanted- no, needed you to be wrong. For the past year that you had been traveling with him, he couldn't imagine a life without you by his side. He loved you too much to let you go, especially when you were just starting to make real progress in your travels. He couldn't lose you. He had lost so many, but he wasn’t going to lose you. "You have time..." He eventually managed to choke out, his voice hoarse and strained as he slipped to the metal ground with you in his arms. You were practically in his lap, but neither of you said a word about it as he tightened his hold around you, digging his face into your neck. You did the same, ignoring the ground that was pushing against your legs uncomfortably. "You have time..." You finally let the tears that you were holding go, sniffling as they spilled down your cheeks.

“I don’t want you to have to see me die, D,” You muttered, “It might be better for you to just drop me off at home.”

‘Home.’ The Doctor thought. No, this was your home. The TARDIS was your home. You were his home.

Both of your collective hearts were breaking, and your heart seemed to shatter as you heard the Doctor's next words;

"This is your home…" The desperation made you break even more.

"I know," You promised, tightening your own embrace.

“I’m not taking you back there,” He muttered, breathing in the scent of your shampoo. Why would he take you back? Though the thought hurt, he knew that having you there with him, for as long as you could be, was better than none at all. “I won’t take you unless you ask me to.”

"I don’t want to leave you, Doctor, ever. Ever.” You sniffled, reaching a hand up to run your fingers through his already messy hair, lightly scratching at his scalp, “Not even when you get tired or me. I’m sorry for upsetting you… I shouldn’t have said anything."

His hold on you loosened only slightly as he pulled his head from the crook of your neck. His own eyes were wet, as he wiped away some of the tears that fell onto your face. You shut your eyes, pressing your cheek into his hand as his thumb brushed the tears away. The Doctor let out a shaky breath of his own, his eyes wandering around your features as his hand ran over your cheeks, wiping any remaining traces of your tears away.

After a few moments of staring into each other's eyes, you both slowly leaned forward and pressed your foreheads together. "I'd never get tired of you." He breathed, closing his eyes to keep any tears from falling. “And don’t apologize… I- I’m glad we talked about this.”

You nodded, swallowing thickly, "I'll never get tired of you either. If that helps." You admitted, your voice quiet and gentle. He smiled a bit at the sound of your voice, your words soothing his worries. "It would be impossible." You finished, pulling back to look at him once more.

"Exactly." He smiled warmly at you, his hands cupping your cheeks. You returned his smile with one of your own. You rested your hand atop one of his, giving it a light squeeze, "I'm simply irresistible." He murmured softly, your voice laced with amusement.

"I know," You muttered softly, reaching out to brush a stray tear from his cheek in return, "That's why I travel with you." You teased, letting out an inward sigh of relief as his smile grew wider. "That and your incredible sense of humor."

The Doctor only hummed, nodding his head as he pulled you back into his chest, allowing you to shift to more comfortably sit in his lap, snuggling against him. He rested his chin on top of your head, smiling as he felt you wrap your arms around his waist. His grin slowly fell as he spoke though, "We have time..." He muttered, "We just have to make the most of it..."

You pulled back slightly, tilting your head up, meeting his gaze. "We will." You agreed, with a nod before he pressed his lips to your forehead, making your cheeks warm once more. A small pause passed between the two of you before you broke it once more, this time speaking quietly as you reached for one of his hands and threaded your fingers through his. "Do you want to stargaze with me?" You asked, looking from your intertwined hands to look up into his dark brown eyes.

His lips curled upward in response, his grip on your hand tightening as he nodded, "Yes, that sounds like a brilliant idea." He replied, his expression turning into a bright, adoring smile. “Simply brilliant, love.”

The Doctor felt both of his hearts race as you smiled back, all the while he thought about how beautiful you looked in that moment; the TARDIS lights shining down upon you. He looked into your eyes and saw all the amazing adventures that the two of you would go on together, he saw a bright future ahead of the both of you. He was right, you both had time. All the time in the world.

#cute #fluff #x reader #slight angst #fanfiction #fanfic #x you #x y/n #x gn reader #docto who #tenth doctor #tenth doctor x reader #tenth doctor x gn reader #tenth doctor x you #tenth doctor x y/n #dw #doctor who tenth doctor

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a1307s · 1 year ago

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Companion #2

(Bart Allen)

[Art is not mine! Credit to battysketches]

Requested by: Feketealkony16

Keys:

Y/N: Your Name

Word Count: 5,760

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

None

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My companion and I have been spending a lot of time together over the past couple of weeks. We have a nice routine that makes me calm. I like knowing what is going to happen, and with Bart, I always know when stuff is going to happen and how it's going to happen.

However, recently Bart has insisted on sleeping in my bed with me at night. I'm not sure why but he keeps asking me, so I finally said yes last night. It's weird waking up with him in my bed. I'm not sure what to do. Usually, I get up and shower before breakfast, and then Bart makes us pancakes. Am I supposed to do that today too?

I shift in bed so I'm sitting against the board in the front. Bart stirs a bit, rolling over so his head is buried between my thigh and the bedding. He stays still for a second before shifting again, his head staying in place but his arm resting against my hips. For whatever reason, Bart has started touching me a lot. He seems to like touching my hips, but again, I'm not sure why.

Usually, I don't like people other than Conner touching me. I do like Bart touching me too though. I like the little sparks that bounce off of him when he's excited. I did end up asking Artemis about the electric sparks and she said Wally does it too when he gets really happy. She also said that Wally doesn't know it's happening because he's used to electricity running threw him so it's hard for him to tell when it's being transferred to something or someone else. I'm pretty sure it's the same for my companion.

Once again, Bart shifts, this time he props himself up so I can see his face, but his arm stays put. When his eyes blink open, sparks start bouncing off of him and colliding against my hips. He is happy, good. "G'morning," He mumbles, a sleepy smile on his face as he looks up at me.

"Good morning," I say back, turning my head away from him. My chest always feels tight when Bart smiles at me. I asked Batgirl about it, and she said it sounds like I have a crush on Bart. I don't know what a crush is, but she explained it as me liking him. Of course, I like him, he's my companion. If I didn't like him, he wouldn't be my companion. Duh.

"Y/N," Bart whines, tightening his hold on me as he buries his head between my hip and his arm. "Look at me!" I obey, turning back to him. His head pokes out as he keeps it rested on us. His smile widens, the sleepiness draining from his face. "Good morning, Mamas."

That is new. I don't know if it's good new. It makes me tingle, but not the tingling I get from the electricity leaving Bart, it's a different tingle. "Good morning," I repeat, once again turning away from him. I think it's a good tingle. It makes me feel like I want my companion to touch me more.

As if he can read my mind, Bart wraps his other arm behind my back, tugging me some so more of himself is on top of my lap. His head is shifted to my other leg, his heart being pressed into my thigh as he lays across me. Recently, when I get overwhelmed - that's the new word Black Canary taught me last week; she says it explains me getting upset about the lights and my emotions - I've been listening to Bart's heartbeat instead of Conner's.

"Why won't you look at me?" He asks, his hands rubbing my hips as he cuddles himself up on my legs. He reminds me of a cat doing this. Sometimes Garfield will transfer into a cat and lay on me, so I'll pet him.

"You make my chest hurt when I look at you too long," I mumble, glancing down at him.

"Oh," He murmurs, his face scrunched up in confusion. "What do you mean it hurts?"

I scan around my room, trying to find anything other than him to look at. "I don't know... it just... feels tight sometimes."

"Oh," Bart repeats, his tone a lot happier this time. "My chest does that too. Usually when you laugh." Maybe Bart likes me too. I hope so or else I'd be a bad companion. Am I a bad companion to Bart? I hope not. I want to make him happy.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks, his hands no longer rubbing my bones and instead gently pushing the hem of my pajama shirt up. A small sliver of my skin shows, which seems to be holding Bart's attention as he pushes his fingertips into it. I don't think I like that, but I do like the feeling of the sparks against a new part of my skin.

"I don't know what to do," I murmur, watching Bart as he watches his fingers roll over my skin. Maybe I do like it, and it's just making me nervous because it's new.

I don't like new things and there's a lot of them happening right now. Bart sleeping in my bed all night, Bart waking up in my bed this morning, and now Bart touching my bare stomach. He's slept in my bed before because we've taken naps together, but he usually spends the night in his bed. Since we've taken naps before, we've woken up in each other's beds, but our naps are usually only an hour or so and never after eight at night. He's also touched me in a lot of places: my arms, my thighs, my back, and even my stomach. The only bare skin he's ever touched is my hands, arms, and face though.

"What do you mean you don't know what to do?" He asks, pushing my shirt up a little more as his fingers slide over my sides, right above my hips. His eyes stay attached to his fingers as if it takes a lot of focusing to touch my skin. Maybe it does. I've only touched the same skin he's touched on me; well before today anyway. I don't see why it would take so much focus though.

"Well, usually I'm in the shower by now, but I'm not. I'm still in bed, with you touching me."

Bart's fingers stop moving, staying put on my side as he looks up at me. I make myself look down, focusing on his eyes as I try to breathe the tightness out of my chest. It's not the tightness I'm used to having around Bart. It's the tightness I would get after I knew I failed a test. "Do you not like me touching you?"

I think about it for a minute, like Canary has told me to do. She's told me just because I feel uneasy about something doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. It just means I'm worried about what is going to happen. "It makes me worry," I finally answer, looking away from Bart again. My breathing hasn't helped with my lungs.

"About what?" He asks, sliding soft circles into me. I can still feel his eyes on the side of my face, which doesn't help my thinking.

"Why you're touching me. If you want me to touch you. If you expect anything from me because you're touching me."

Bart stays silent, the only sounds filling my ears being his heart and lungs, along with the soft sound of our skin running against each other. "Well, I'm touching you because I like how you feel... That sounds creepy," he falls quiet again, spacing out a bit. "I'm touching you because it's how I show and how I feel that someone cares. I would like you to touch me back, but you never have to do anything you don't want to when I'm around. If you don't want to touch me, then don't, I won't be mad."

I roll his words over for a bit before looking down at him. "Where would you like me to touch you?" Hopefully, it's somewhere okay, like his hair. I really want to touch his hair.

"A few places. You can touch me wherever you're comfortable touching. I won't be mad no matter what you decide." Once again, I roll the words over in my head. Does he think that I think he's mad? I slowly move my hands to his head, letting them rest for a beat before I slide my hands through his locks. They're soft against my fingers, causing waves of calmness to start to sprout.

We sit like this for a while, Bart rolling circles into different parts of my stomach, and me playing with his hair. I start trying to braid it, like I've seen M'gann do to Cassie's hair, but Bart's hair isn't long enough to make a good braid.

After a bit, Bart shifts, sitting up in bed across from me. "I'm going to take a shower," he starts, tilting his head some as he looks over my face. "Do you want to take a shower with me?"

"No," I yap out, panic quickly eating away at the calmness that was previously present.

"Okay, you don't have to," he says softly as he slowly reaches his hand towards me. I stay still, petrified with fear despite his present smile that usually makes my chest tight, not fearful. His hand is gentle as he places it against my cheek, his thumb gently sliding against my skin. For whatever reason, this is another thing Bart likes to do.

"Please go away," the fear pushes out of me before I can stop it. I don't like this, I don't like him touching me, and I don't like Bart anymore. He's a scary companion. He's going to hurt me.

Bart's smile drops a bit, but is still present, and still scary. "Okay," he says softly, dropping his touch from me before sliding off my bed. I stay put as I watch him walk into the bathroom.

Once the door is shut behind him, I shoot up from bed and make my way out of my room. I do not feel happy, I do not feel nice, I do not feel good. All of can think about is my pod and Luther and pain.

I need to find Birdman so he can call Canary. I need to talk to her. I do not like feeling scared, and I really don't like feeling scared of Bart. He's my companion, he's supposed to make me feel good, feel loved, feel safe, someone I'm supposed to trust. I do not feel any of that. I feel scared of him, scared of him seeing me. Why would he want to see me like that? Why would he want to take a shower with me? Does he want to hurt me? What test did I fail?

My mind is a fog, my breathing feeling labored, and my nervous shaking as I race into the living room. I can hear Conner trying to get my attention, but I ignore him. "Nightwing?" I call, walking up to the team leader who's tucked into a corner of the kitchen. I tug on the arm of his shirt, pulling his attention down to me with a soft hum. "We need to go on a walk."

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Canary is sitting across from me, her body language open and her pen and pad ready to write down what I say. I open my mouth again to try and explain this morning but once again, nothing comes out. "Take your time, Y/N, the league knows I'm not on call, so we have all day to figure this out," her words are soft, like always.

I like Canary, she is nice, and patient, and helps me with all my thoughts and feelings. When I first started talking with her, she told me she used to and still does help Conner - and other heroes - with the same thing so it's okay that I ask for her help.

"Bart keeps asking to sleep in my bed at night," I finally push out, shifting my gaze around the room. Even though it feels nice to talk to her and I feel safe with Canary, it still feels overwhelming to talk about stuff sometimes.

"Yes, we talked about it at our last session, do you remember what you said about it?"

I think about it for a moment, trying to remember. "I said that I don't know how I feel about it." Canary stays quiet, her eyes soft as she looks at me. "He asked again last night, and I said yes."

"Why did you say yes? Did you want to say yes, or did you say yes so he'd stop asking?"

I think about it for a moment, trying to relive the moment and the emotions I had during the discussion with Bart. "I felt... happy when he asked. I thought it would be nice. I like our naps so I figured it would just be a really long nap. That's why I said yes. I like it when I go to sleep next to Bart, it makes me feel... like I'm important to him. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it makes sense," Canary says, bringing some relief to me as she scribbles in her notes. "How was it? Before bed? When you were getting ready to sleep and when you laid down for the night?"

Once again, I think about it, trying to relive the memory. "I was already ready for bed when Bart showed up. We watched a movie - it was about some talking cars - and we sat next to each other, with Bart's arm around my hips. He keeps touching my hips. Why is he doing that?"

"I'm not hundred percent sure because I'm not Bart. Why do you think he does it?" I hate when she does this. When she makes it obvious she knows the answer but won't tell me what the answer is. It's supposed to 'encourage my thoughts and feelings to get to find the answer' which is stupid. If I knew the answer I wouldn't have asked the question.

"I don't know."

"I think you do, you're just scared of the answer." Maybe Canary isn't as nice as I thought.

I think over the question for a while, nothing but space in between Canary and me. "Well, today Bart said he likes how I feel, and then said he sounded creepy so he changed his answer to something about showing care and being shown it, I don't know."

Once again, the older hero stays silent, scribbling away at her notes. "Repeat that." This is really stupid.

"Bart said he likes how-"

"Not that part, the last part." Why did I ask to talk to Canary? This is a waste of time.

"His answer was something about showing care and feeling cared for," I repeat, my anger bubbling with my words.

"Again," she orders, not helping the growing frustration.

"Bart said he likes touching me because it's how he shows he cares and how he feels that he is cared about - oh..." Maybe Canary isn't stupid, and maybe I don't like the answer. Why would Bart care about me? I know he's supposed to since he's my companion and all, but other than supposedly having to, why does he?

There's a soft smile on her face as she looks at me. "See? You did know the answer, you just needed help putting the pieces together. What was the rest of the night like?"

"I don't know. We laid down after the movie and went to sleep."

"Was Bart touching you when you went to sleep?"

Why does that matter? "Yes, he had his arms around my hips and back like he did this morning."

"Why do you think he did that?"

I think about it for a moment. "Because... he was showing he cares...?"

Canary hums a yes as she nods in agreement. "People feel cared for in different ways. Some people - like Robin - feel cared for when people get them stuff like coffee, love letters, or even something as simple as a rock. Other people - like Bart - feel cared for when they're touched like hugs, kisses, and holding hands. Most of the time people show they care in the same way they feel cared for."

"Are those the only ways to feel cared for? I don't like any of those things."

Canary smiles softly again, before speaking. "There are five love languages. The two we already talked about are called receiving gifts and physical touch. There are acts of service like Batgirl helping Nightwing with paperwork. Words of affirmation is another one, stuff like being told you're doing good-"

"Ew," I say before I can stop myself. "I hate when Nightwing and Conner do that."

Canary nods, propping her head up with her arm. "Your love language is quality time. Stuff like napping with Bart or sitting with him when he plays his video games." I nod, the same way Canary does, as I roll her words around my head. I feel bad for thinking she was stupid, she's smart. "So, the time before sleeping was good, how was the actual sleeping?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, my confusion washing away all the understanding I had a second ago. I think this is why I don't like talking to Canary sometimes. She's good at making stuff make sense, and then ruining it the next time she asks a question.

"Did you sleep through the night?"

"Oh, I woke up a few times. I'd panic for a while before I realized it was Bart."

Back to silence, sounds of breathing and Canary's pen filling the space between us once again. "How'd this morning go?" She finally asks, being the one to break the silence again.

"I woke up confused."

"Because Bart was there?"

"Yes and no," I answer, getting a head tilt from the lady across from me. That usually means I answered in a way she wasn't prepared for. "I was happy to see Bart when I woke up and I did finally remember he was supposed to be there but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should stick to my routine or not because waking up with him in my bed isn't part of my normal schedule."

"You don't do very well with change," She says softly like she does every time we discuss a change in my life.

"I know," I answer shortly, like always. "He ended up waking up shortly after and kept touching me again."

"Did you not like him touching you?"

"I didn't mind him touching me for most of it."

"And for the rest of it?"

I go silent again, replaying this morning in my head, trying to remember my thoughts and feelings in the moment. "Bart just... touched me differently I guess."

"Try rewording that." Occasionally Canary will say this, usually when she needs more context or doesn't understand what I'm saying.

"Bart... lifted my shirt. Not like a lot! Just a little bit, and kept touching my skin on my stomach and sides and I don't know," I rush out with a heavy tone, using my hands to model how much skin was showing. "It wasn't a lot," I repeat, a lot softer this time.

"Does it matter whether it was a little or a lot?"

Yes, it does. Why wouldn't it? "Different things happen depending on how much clothing is off. If it's a little bit it's just a check up and if it's a lot I get hurt."

Canary falls silent, pen still and her heart beats a bit faster. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. "Is that what happened when you were with Luther?" Her voice is a little uneven, but I'm surprised. Anytime we talk about how Luther used to hurt me her heartbeat picks up.

"Ya, it did. Do you think Bart would hurt me?"

Again, silence from the lady across from me, but her pen is at work this time and her heart is back to normal. "No one can be hundred percent sure someone else won't hurt anyone, but I do believe Bart wouldn't ever hurt you."

"Why?"

Silence. More silence, and then... some more silence. I hate how long Canary takes to answer my questions. "Has Conner talked to you about having a boyfriend or girlfriend?"

That's not an answer, that's another question. I think Canary just likes to make me angry. "He said I can love whoever I want to love, girlfriend or boyfriend."

She hums, no pen marks this time. "Do you know what a boyfriend or girlfriend is?" I shake my head no. I don't know what one is or the use of one. "A boyfriend or girlfriend is a lot like a friend. Do you know what a friend is?"

"A friend is someone you care about and trust and spend time with."

Another hum and another nod. "A boyfriend or girlfriend is kind of like that. A lot of the time, they start as friends or companions in your case, before a deeper relationship develops."

"I still don't see a difference."

"Well with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you tend to be more... physical. You do things like kiss among other things that you wouldn't do with a friend. Unlike a friend, you only have one and there's stuff you only do with them. Oh, and a boyfriend is a test run for a husband."

"What's a husband?"

"Let's save that discussion for after we get the boyfriend-girlfriend thing down."

"What's a girlfriend?" I ask finally, it's been three months since the first time I heard of it. The question has sat in my head ever since.

"Same as a boyfriend but it's a girl instead of a boy." Oh, that's simple. It makes me feel dumb for not figuring that out on my own. "Nightwing tells me you were having a panic attack when you came to find him."

"Panic attack?" I echo, confused about this and still confused about the whole boyfriend thing. I don't like feeling confused, it makes me angry and reminds me how little I know about the world because of Luther.

"Yes, it's when it's hard to breathe and you feel very scared, and it's hard to think straight because of your emotions. All you think about is your fear and what's causing it." Ya, I definitely had a panic attack earlier. "What happened right before you felt like that?"

I stay quiet, mentally going over the event. I know what happened. I remember all of this morning. I don't know why it makes me so scared. It shouldn't be scary for Bart to want my clothes off, right? Maybe it should be.

"Bart... he asked me to... he wanted to take a shower together," I stumble out, struggling on how to form my sentence.

"And that made you feel scared?"

I nod, propping my arms on my knees before burying my face into my hands. "Why would that make me feel scared? Why would it cause a panic attack?"

Like always, I have to wait for Canary to finish her writing and thoughts before she answers. From between my fingers, I watch as she leans forward, sitting in a similar pose to me. "I think that the idea of being without clothes around someone scares you because it reminds you of the things Luther has done to you. I also think that Bart believes he's your boyfriend. Have you two talked about that? Or kissed? Or anything else that you haven't done with another member of the team?"

The first half of Canary's speech makes sense. I understand that, I remember the fear I felt, the fear that before today, Luther was the only one to make me feel. The second half... not so much. Why would Bart think he's my boyfriend? We haven't kissed or anything else. We do things together, we spend time together, and we take naps.

"We haven't kissed and we haven't talked about him being my boyfriend. We hold hands but I do that with Conner as well. We take naps together too but again I do that with Conner."

"It's different with Conner. There's stuff you do and say with family that you wouldn't do with a friend." That doesn't make any sense either. My head hurts from all this thinking and I'm getting angry. I have more questions than answers. This isn't helping.

"People are confusing," I mumble, rubbing my face before sitting up straight.

Canary stays put, giving me another soft smile. I'm really starting to not like it when she smiles at me. "How about we stop for the day, ya? I'll come back and we can talk again tomorrow."

"What do I do about Bart?" I ask as she stands up and starts collecting her things.

It takes a second - like usual - for Canary to answer. "I think you should have a serious talk with him. See if he thinks he's your boyfriend. See if you want him to be your boyfriend. If you're happy with the talk, have another sleepover. If you're not, stay away from him today and we'll look into and talk about finding you another friend."

I don't want another friend. I want Bart. I want to keep him all to myself. For a long time, if not forever. Maybe I shouldn't want to keep him. Maybe that's me being possessive like Wolf gets about Conner and me. Conner always yells at Wolf about it so it has to be a bad thing, right? I need to find Bart and talk to him. Maybe he'll help my thoughts. Hopefully, he'll help my thoughts. As long as he doesn't make them worse.

————————————

My head is scattered when I walk back into my room. After my session with Canary, I went on a walk and then continued to walk, for two hours. Instead of helping, it just messed up my thoughts more. Canary didn't help, she just made me more confused.

Like earlier today, Conner calls for me as I walk through the living room. Once again, I ignore him. Conner tries to help with my thoughts but usually, he just confuses me or gets angry because he doesn't understand either.

A bit of relief runs through my veins when I swing my bedroom door open, but it's soon washed away. Laid out on my bed is my red-tinted companion, who instantly sits up when he hears the door open. "Y/N," he calls, jumping to his feet. "Are you okay? Nightwing said you had a panic attack. Did I cause it? What happened? Where have you been? Did I upset you? Did-"

"Please be quiet," I murmur, looking at my shoes as I try to push down my feelings. I'm upset that I made Bart worry, I'm upset that I can't control my fear, and I'm upset that Bart won't be quiet so I can answer his questions.

Surprisingly, Bart does silence. I can feel his eyes digging into me as I focus on my shoelaces. One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten... Maybe taking deep breaths and counting does help. "I am fine. I did have a panic attack, but it's fine. You did but didn't cause it. A lot has happened today. I was with Nightwing and then Canary and then I went on a walk. You did but didn't, once again."

"How did I both cause and not cause your panic attack? How did I cause and not cause you to be upset?" I glance at Bart, his face scrunched up and his eyes are pink. I decide to focus on the wall behind him instead. I don't like knowing I caused him to cry.

"You... I didn't... I don't like new and there was a lot of new this morning." My words stick in my throat a few times before I manage to get them out.

"I don't understand."

I sigh, glancing at his face again. His eyes are teary, making my heart feel like it's being squeezed. I don't want him upset, I want him happy, I'm supposed to make him happy. "I... liked you waking up in my bed. It feels... it makes me feel important."

"You are important. Very important to me, actually." Maybe my thoughts aren't always wrong. Why am I so important though? I don't do anything to be important. I definitely don't do anything to be important to Bart.

"The..." I stop for a second, running my fingers under my shirt. "That was fine. It was okay, but it made me a bit scared. Then you... kept touching me and... it makes me scared. Really, really scared." Bart steps forward a bit before stopping, causing himself to stand in an awkward half-leaning forward, half-staying put pose. "And... and then you asked to take a shower together and... all I could think about was you wanting to hurt me, about Luther hurting me."

Bart knows a lot about my time with Luther. He doesn't know the details like Canary and Conner do, but he knows about the tests, about the chocolate, about the hurting. He doesn't know about the on and off clothes, so I don't think it's fair that I'm upset with him. It's not fair for me to have a panic attack because of it. It's not fair that I make it seem like his fault.

"I didn't... I'm sorry," he mumbles, fixing himself so he finishes his step forward.

"It's not your fault. Luther hurt me, not you. It's not your fault. I just... I can't say no."

Bart takes slow steps forward, stopping right in front of me. His cheeks are wet. I made him cry. I don't want to make him cry. "I am sorry I kept touching you. I should have stopped when you told me you were worried. I know you... struggle with new things so I shouldn't have pushed anything new onto you this morning. I'm sorry."

His words feel nice. They make me feel calm. Silence envelopes us, it's not the usual gentle silence though, it's a heavy silence. "Do you think you're my boyfriend?"

Bart tilts his head some, his eyebrows pressing together in confusion. "Yes? Why are you asking? Do you not think I'm your boyfriend?"

Why would I think he's my boyfriend? I don't even know what a boyfriend is. Even with Canary's explanation, I'm still confused. "Canary told me that she thinks that you think you're my boyfriend. At the end of our session, she said to talk to you and see what you think and see if I want you to be my boyfriend. She also said if I'm happy with our talk to have another sleepover and if I'm unhappy to stop talking to you, which made me angry."

"I... have a lot of questions," Bart mumbles, confusion deeper on his face. "First, do you not know what a boyfriend is?"

"Not really. Canary said it was someone you are more physical with, and you kiss them, and you only have one, and something about a husband."

"Okay," he says, blinking his eyes a few times. "Um... a boyfriend is someone you love a lot. You do kiss them too and you do... other things that aren't important right now. It's someone you want to spend the rest of your life loving." Oh, that makes a lot more sense than what Canary said. "Why were you upset when Canary said to stop talking to me?"

Bart is dumb, and unlike Canary, he is actually dumb. "Because you're important. You're my companion. I want to keep you forever and I don't want anyone else to have you." Bart smiles at this but I'm not sure why. "But Conner yells at Wolf for being possessive so I don't think I'm supposed to feel like that."

Bart's smile gets bigger as he lets out an airy laugh. "Conner yells at Wolf because he growls when people get too close to you and when Conner spars. That's completely different from what you're feeling. You don't growl at people or threaten to hurt them if they talk or come near me." Oh... that makes a lot of sense.

"So, you're my boyfriend?"

"Do you want me to be your boyfriend?"

"Yes," I say, nodding in agreement to my statement.

"Do you actually want to spend the rest of your life with me or are you scared to say no?"

"I actually want to spend my life with you." It makes me sad even thinking about someone else getting to have Bart. He's supposed to be my companion.

Once again, Bart's smile grows as he looks at me. "Good, because I want to be your boyfriend."

"So, you're my boyfriend."

"So, I'm your boyfriend." The word sounds weird but nice.

"I still don't know what the difference between a boyfriend and a friend is though."

"We'll figure it out together, okay?" He says, slowly moving closer. "And we'll move slowly so you don't get scared again, and I'll start asking before I touch you, okay? Does that sound good?"

"Yes, it sounds very good. I'm sorry for upsetting you."

Bart goes to put his hands on my hips but freezes with them hovering over me. "Can I touch you?" I nod yes. "Do you actually want me to touch you or are you scared to tell me no right now?"

"I actually want you to touch me."

Once the words are out, Bart's hands are present on my hips, once again rubbing soft circles into me, over my clothes this time. "You don't need to be sorry. I scared you. I pushed too hard this morning. I should have talked to you instead of assuming you were okay with me touching you. I shouldn't have assumed I was your boyfriend. From now on we will talk about stuff more, okay? Maybe we can talk to Canary about doing couples therapy so we can work on making this work, ya?"

"Ya, I like that idea."

"I like that idea too." I have a boyfriend. Bart is my boyfriend. I get to keep Bart forever.

———————————————————————

#bart allen #impulse #bart allen oneshot #impulse oneshot #young justice #young justice oneshot #young justice x reader #bart allen x reader #impulse x reader

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austinslounge · 3 months ago

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I don’t know how you can be an Austin fan and said you’d prefer he be with Vanessa again, someone who multiple people have said was not nice to him in public/around other people. There’s a reason Ashley Tisdale “chose” him. Baby V is problematic for more than just that too and would be an embarrassing publicity nightmare for him if they were still together to this day. If people think Kaia has tarnished his image, what little she’s done is nothing compared to what the other woman would’ve done.

I don’t like him with Kaia but spoiled nepo baby or someone that’s been mean to him in public on multiple occasions, is buddy buddy with foreign dictators, was selfish about COVID-19 deaths and defends Hollywood predators like Woody Allen? I choose the spoiled nepo baby any day if those are the only two options. The enemy of your enemy is not always your friend.

He’s nice about her publicly because he’s the bigger person and doesn’t want drama. That’s his choice, but fans can make their own and it’s not just Kaustin shippers that don’t like her. I don’t like either of them and don’t understand Austin fans who feel the need to defend her. Fuck her. I’m glad Austin went to Australia and never looked back.

You're entitled to your own opinion, as are others on here.

I just want to clarify something though.

I never said that I was a huge fan of Vanessa, or that she was the best person for Austin. I'm very well aware of some of the problematic things she's done (and said) in the past.

What I was saying was that from the outside looking in, I'd rather take what Austin and Vanessa's relationship looked like, vs what we know and see of Austin and Kaia's relationship, any day of the week!

Do I think Vanessa is/was perfect? Hell no! But you can tell that she genuinely loved Austin to pieces, and you can't change the fact that Austin loved her deeply as well. You can just look at pictures of them and tell that they loved each other.

Vanessa was also there for Austin during one of the toughest moments of his life, and helped to take care of his sick mom in their own house. I don't care what you say about someone, that's pretty huge.

And these reports of Vanessa being mean to Austin 3 times in almost 10 years? 🥴 First of all, how do we even know these rumors are true? The internet says a whole bunch of stuff.

I can only go by what I see. I can't go by what I haven't seen. That's not to say that these things didn't happen, all I'm saying is that I can only go by what I have actually seen. From all of the photos and video footage that I've seen of Austin and Vanessa in nearly a decade together, I've never seen her treating him "meanly". She always looked super happy with him -- almost deliriously happy rofl 😂

I also look at what Austin said himself about V, not just during their their relationship, but after their breakup. I also look at how he still followed her long after their breakup... even after she stopped following him. If she had been as horrible to him as some shippers now are trying to spin, why on earth was he with that woman for nearly 10 years, and why on earth was he still following her after their breakup?

Wrt to Ashley and Vanessa -- Did it ever occur to you that maybe it was Vanessa who cut friendship ties with Ashley because she and Austin are still close? Maybe it was Vanessa who couldn't handle that. Maybe it caused a rift because Austin is like Ashley's little brother and she's known him the longest, and Vanessa couldn't handle that.

We really don't know all the facts.

All I can go by is what I see. And what I see with my own eyes with how Austin and Kaia are with each other is not a good feeling at all.

Plus, let's not try to sit here and act like Kaia is miss perfect. She's done and said some problematic things herself. Also, the whole kissing other people while in a relationship with someone else doesn't really sit well with me. And I'm sorry, but the way Austin doesn't even look/seem comfortable or himself with her speaks volumes to me.

But hey, to each his/her own.

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captain-danwilds · 1 month ago

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WIP Wednesday: October 16

I was pleasantly surprised by the interest in Sam, the Exy RA last week. Thank you so much.

I am once again open for asks related to my current projects:

NAGAB Neil (Raven!Neil)

NAGAB Noah (Vixens, Palmetto State Shenanigans and Hatfords)

The foxes RA

If you have a specific character or aspect you're interested in, feel free to include that in your ask. I can't guarantee I'll be able to include it, but I'll try. Also, work was a lot today, so my apologies if I don't get to your ask right away.

NAGAB Noah and Andrew confrontation below the cut

Noah merely raised an eyebrow at Andrew's glare. He was used to being pushed around. He had been told what to do by much scarier people. As frightening as Andrew's reputation was, he'd only hurt four men, in a fit of rage. Maybe not even that if the school newspaper wasn’t above making shit up. The man was on parole. Getting into a fight like that would violate it and then bye bye bodyguard.

Besides, Noah didn't know how many men he'd hurt by this point. As much as his mother wanted him kept out of the family business, that wasn't always a possibility. It didn't help that Andrew was barely above five feet even in his mammoth platform boots. He didn't look peaceful by any means with his armbands full of knifes (standard assortment, quick draw possible on the four and six inch, none well-balanced enough for efficient throwing), but there was a difference between a threat Noah could handle and one he couldn't.

"Are you referring to Kevin or your cousin?" Their earlier confrontations had made it clear that Andrew thought Noah played a larger threat to Kevin than he did to anyone else but considering this was after Nicky had decided to help him, things were definitely in flux.

“I protect what's mine." Andrew clenched one of his fists at his sides as if resisting the urge to draw a knife in broad daylight in a very public parking lot.

Noah had been startled for sure, but there were also limits to how far Andrew could get when anyone could walk by. The fact he was currently violating parole could only make that worse.

"It does matter," Noah walked past Andrew. "Kevin isn't going to be an issue, but I need Nicky."

That comment made Andrew narrow his eyes slightly. "You need to be at the banquet."

It was another statement of fact. Andrew didn't seem the type to bother with questions. On one level Noah appreciated it, no questions meant giving up no secrets, no lying to a man who seemed like his own lie detector. But it also made him want to grind his teeth together.

"I do." Noah wasn't about to answer more than he had to.

Andrew peered at his face. "I don't deal in half-truths especially from the likes of you, an opportunistic nobody who can do some fancy flips. Especially when your timing is interesting."

"Timing?"

"You showed up as they're preparing to move south."

"You think I'm working for Edgar Allen?"

"And the little birdie gets it."

#wip wednesday #NAGAB Noah #Noah Josten #nagab #aftg #all for the game #10/16/24 WIP Wednesday

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bluejaysandblackbats · 3 months ago

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Hair Trigger

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Superfam, YJ98

Summary: A junior at Gotham University, Jason finds it difficult to conceal his worsening mental health from his family and his friend, Jon Lane Kent. Family secrets are revealed and boundaries are pushed as Jason and Laney struggle to navigate through school, their romantic feelings, and their trauma. Could the reintroduction of Laney Kent be more trouble than it's worth, or is it just what Jason needed to confront the demons of his past?

I will also do trigger warnings for chapters and if there is smut I have the chapter(s) tagged so you don't have to worry about nsfw in the fic if you're just here for the story itself.

Chapters: 24/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Jonathan Lane Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Conner Kent, Natalia Knight, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Cassie Sandsmark, Chris Kent, Bart Allen, Original Character(s)

Relationships: JayLaney, Clois, TimKon

Additional Tags: University AU, No Powers AU, Sharing A Bed, Romance, Angst, Unsafe For Work

Chapter Twenty-Four: Ring

After Laney's family went back home, Laney went to the manor to pick Jason up, and Jason came out of his room and covered his mouth playfully. "Lane, come kiss me!" Jason exclaimed, and Laney rolled the window down.

"It's freezing outside! Get in the car and kiss me!" Laney laughed, and Jason got in the car and gave Laney a little kiss.

"What's the plan for tonight?" Jason asked.

"I'm gonna take you back to the apartment, and we'll eat the dinner I prepared for you, and I'm gonna play with your dick—." Jason interrupted him with a laugh. "No, I'm serious. I'm gonna suck you off and play with your butt and—."

"Laney, you're such a pervert!" Jason laughed. Laney turned the radio on. "No, but for real... We've only done it once if that counts."

"You not feeling it tonight?" Laney asked. "And for the record, sex is sex. If it makes you cum, and I cum, it's sex."

"I do wanna do it tonight," Jason replied, "Did you think it was good last time? I mean, I still feel bad because I didn't make you cum."

"Don't feel bad. I'm gonna cum no matter what, but like, I just want you to feel good. Things are gonna feel like your first time the first couple of times... But the sex is gonna be amazing once you get used to it. Besides, a cute little moan goes a long way," Laney smiled and turned to Jason for a moment to look at the expression on his face. "No, but seriously... I'd rather you feel good and be comfortable than make you do things you're not comfortable with."

"I'm sorry if I get so insecure about sex. It just seems like maybe I'm being unfair to you—."

Laney shook his head. "Listen to me right now. You have never once been unfair to me, and I will let you know if you are. Besides, maybe I just wanna suck your dick tonight. Have you thought about that?" Laney asked. He reached over with one hand and squeezed Jason's hand.

"Did you shit already today?" Laney asked. Jason's face went cherry red. "No, like don't be embarrassed, I'm just asking."

"Yes, I did shit already today, and I haven't eaten anything since like three this afternoon," Jason whispered.

"Okay, good, so this could go either way tonight," Laney whispered, "It's all gonna be about what you're comfortable with... M'kay, baby?"

Jason kissed Laney's knuckles, and he had nothing else to say for the rest of the ride home. When they got up to the apartment, Jason carried Laney up the stairs over his shoulder. When they got to the door, Jason put him down, and Laney used his key, and they rushed into the house. Laney giggled as he locked the door and shushed Jason. "Vivi! Are you home?" Laney asked. No one answered. Jason kissed Laney, and they both slipped out of their shirts as Jason pushed him up against the door. Laney chuckled as he fumbled with Jason's pants, searching for his belt buckle.

"Lane, I'm not wearing a belt," Jason whispered before opening his mouth and allowing Laney's tongue to enter his mouth. Laney unzipped Jason's jeans and his own, and they both pulled away from each other just enough to take off their pants, and they both took a breath.

Laney took Jason's hand, and they went back to the bedroom, and Jason lay back on the bed. Laney turned the light on, straddled Jason's waist, and leaned over and kissed him. The thin fabric of their boxers created enough friction to make Laney pull away and moan in Jason's ear. Jason pulled Laney's body closer, and they shared a series of passionate kisses. Laney moved down the length of Jason's body, kissing his neck, shoulders, and chest. Jason closed his eyes, and Laney started to pull Jason's boxers off, and Jason grabbed his hand. "Shy?" Laney asked.

"No, it's just—. Kind of. I mean, I'm not all the way hard yet, and last time, the lights weren't on—."

"Jason, do you want me to get naked first?" Laney asked. Jason nodded, and Laney took his boxers off, and Jason bit his lip. "You're so cute." Jason slipped his shorts off, and Laney sat on his knees and bounced up and down on the bed. "I'm gonna suck your dick. I'm gonna suck your dick," Laney sang, and Jason covered his face. Laney grabbed Jason's hands. "Don't be shy. You look so good."

Laney got out of bed and went through his drawer to pull out a condom and a bottle of lube. Jason looked over and reached into the drawer. "What's this?" Jason asked as he pulled a small toy out of the drawer. A devilish grin spread across Laney's face. "Lane?"

"I can show you," Laney offered, and Jason nodded. "Do you want me to walk you through this or just do it?" Laney asked as he grabbed a towel from his closet, and he gave it to Jason before going back to the drawer to put on a latex glove.

"I think you should walk me through..." Laney kissed Jason's cheek.

"Put the towel under your butt," Laney commanded in a soft voice as he took the toy and put a condom over it. He set it to the side and climbed back on the bed, spreading Jason's legs. "I'm gonna loosen you up, okay?"

Jason nodded and watched as Laney took the lube and squirted a small amount onto his gloved finger before applying lube directly to Jason's hole. Jason tensed at first, and Laney waited a moment for Jason's reaction. "Ooh," Jason whispered before relaxing his body. Laney chuckled and applied a little more to Jason's perineum. Jason lay back into the pillows, mouth agape as his dick began to stiffen.

"I'm gonna ask you to loosen up in a second," Laney whispered as he squirted a generous amount of lube directly onto Jason's dick. He ran his hand up and down Jason's shaft, down to his balls, and finally back to his hole. Laney pressed a finger to the entrance and instructed Jason to loosen up. Jason nodded, loosening up enough to allow the tip of Laney's finger in, and he moaned through closed lips. Laney moved his finger around, and Jason allowed a gruff moan to escape the back of his throat. "How're we doing?" Laney casually asked as he tried to ignore the stiffening of his own cock. He didn't wait for an answer as he slowly pushed in a little farther and drew back over and over again. Once Laney hit Jason's prostate, Jason moaned as his own voice cracked. His dick twitched as it continued to harden and thicken, and as soon as he began to answer, Laney withdrew his finger.

Jason caught his breath and opened his eyes, watching as Laney applied lubricant to the toy. "Why'd you stop?" Jason asked. Laney smiled and fit the ring of the toy around the base of Jason's cock.

"We're getting to the good part," Laney replied as he grabbed Jason's hand and let him feel a button at the center of the straight band of the toy. "You turn it on and off with this button. It has five speeds, and you hold the button to turn it off. Now I'm gonna put the plug part in you and let you play with the speeds." Laney pushed the toy in slowly, and Jason bit his lip, and once the plug was in, Jason opened his eyes and stared at Laney's throbbing cock. "What's the matter?"

"Can I fuck you?" Jason asked. Laney's dick twitched, and he bit his lip and closed his eyes, smiling at the thought.

Laney took a condom from the drawer and opened it, squeezing a small amount of lube inside, before slipping it over Jason's dick. "Pick a position," Laney whispered, and Jason took a hand and squeezed his own dick. "You good?"

Jason nodded and took a deep breath. Laney was still a little taken aback by the thought of Jason penetrating him. Jason lay there staring as Laney used a lot more lube on Jason's dick and his own hole. He straddled Jason's waist, taking on a little of his length at a time, and Jason shut his eyes. He ran his hand down Laney's back until he stopped at the curvature of Laney's ass, cupping it in his hand. "Lane," Jason moaned, allowing Laney's name to drag out. Laney chuckled as he took the entire length of Jason's cock, and he slowly got into the rhythm of bouncing up and down.

"Baby, turn the vibrator on," Laney's breathing grew labored as he became more aroused. His dick flopped against Jason's stomach every time he came back down. Jason found the button and pressed it. The shockwaves of pleasure caused him to buck his hips, forcing a moan from Laney's lips. "Oh fuck," Laney whispered breathlessly, and he and Jason rolled over, letting Jason be on top. Laney placed both of his hands on Jason's ass, pulling him closer and closer. "More... Like that," Laney instructed.

Jason tried to replicate the strokes as Laney ran his hand up and down the curvature of Jason's ass, and Laney pressed the button twice more. Jason began to thrust wildly, and Laney covered his mouth with one hand. "I'm c—. I'm cum—." Laney held the button down until the vibrating ceased and they both remained frozen in place. Laney caught his breath and smiled as he threw off the glove and covered his face with both hands. Laney let out a shaky laugh. "What?" Jason asked, still short of breath.

"You had nothing to worry about... I don't even remember switching positions," Laney mumbled, "You feel so good." Jason waited a few seconds longer before turning the vibrator back on, and he pressed three more times before going back to thrusting in and out of Laney, even at one point grabbing Laney's dick and running his hand up and down Laney's shaft. Laney pressed the button once more. Jason let a high-pitched grunt escape his open mouth. Laney reached over and squirted a little more lube into his palm, and he touched himself and slathered the remaining amount onto Jason's nipples, playing with them and squeezing them as Jason whined. Laney held the button on the cock ring, turning it off. "Cum—. I—. Cumming," Jason groaned as he thrust as hard as he could several times, releasing his load into the condom, and Laney came shortly afterward. Jason collapsed on top of Laney, and his cock softened and slipped out of Laney's hole as the aftershocks of orgasm still pulsed through his body.

Laney trembled as he reached down to take Jason's hand off of his dick. "Jason, don't fall asleep, baby... You're too heavy," Laney mumbled. Jason groaned as he rolled over onto his back, brushing Laney's dick. "Jesus fuck—."

"What happened?" Jason asked, turning his head to look over at Laney's face as he shook.

Laney laughed. "Jason?" Laney asked.

"Yeah," Jason answered.

"I can't even fucking remember what I was gonna say," Laney laughed. Jason smiled a half-sleep smile before closing his eyes. "You gotta take the condom off."

"Too tired," Jason mumbled, and Laney reached over and took the condom off and sat it on the nightstand. "Put on your CPAP," Jason whispered.

Laney sat up and put his mask on before laying back down and rolling over into Jason's arms. Jason held him and kissed Laney's temple. "Can we stay here like this?" Jason asked.

Laney nodded and kissed Jason on the cheek. "Yeah, but we gotta go to school tomorrow," Laney murmured.

"No, you don't. Your professors want you to take a break... I want you to take a break. You can stay at my place with Gus and do whatever, and I'll come and meet you for lunch," Jason whispered. Laney nodded.

Jason drifted off to sleep and Laney followed. Jason woke up a few hours later and whispered in Laney's ear. "How do I take off the—? What's this called?" Jason asked. Laney slipped the ring part off and pulled the butt plug out along with the condom.

"Cock ring," Laney replied, still half-asleep. "We should go shower. You go first so I can watch you climb over me." Jason chuckled and nodded, climbing over Laney as he picked up the room and he took two towels from Laney's closet. He wrapped one of the towels around his waist. "Boo!"

"Shh! I'll be right back," Jason whispered as he took his pajamas with him. "I'm gonna clean up when I come back."

Laney grabbed his water bottle and took a sip. "Jason, I love you," he declared.

Jason stopped in his tracks and smiled, turned to Laney, and answered with, "I love you too, you little freak."

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therulerofallpotatos · 1 year ago

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Fic Tag Game

Tagged by: @wincestation, @realisticintentions, @realmermaid333, @cosmic-lullaby, @suchaladyy, @beri-allen

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

149

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

361,707 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Wednesday currently. Teen Wolf for six years. Harry Potter, Hannibal, Thorki, Starker, Twilight (Bella/Carlisle and Bella/Aro), The Umbrella Academy (not that i got very far before getting obsessed with wyler), and Madrigalcest (Primarily Brumira)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Overall?

Fuck It (Steter, Teen Wolf, 3,396)

When it Needs Fixing (Steter, Teen Wolf, 3,339)

Hostile Takeover (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,781)

Absolution (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,691)

Wandering in the Dark (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,250)

In Wednesday?

Her Monster (Wyler, 708)

Hold Me Close (Wyler, 593)

Revelations (Wyler, 499)

Warning, She Bites (Wyler, 464)

Impressing Wednesday Addams (Wyler, 387)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes. I reply when I have something meaningful to add. Otherwise it'd get very repetitive and generic and that kind of soulless connection isn't really the point of this kind of thing. I adore my comments nonetheless and I read them a lot.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hold on. I gotta skim my list.

update: i do not remember some of these fics or what happened in them

Maybe Modi the Brave (MCU, Thorki). This was an angsty fanfic of a fanfic. There was a happy ending in the original fic, The Rescue by madwriter223

I'm not counting Absolution because it was immediately followed by a sequel. But technically, it did get me the most angry sobbing comments which i treasure to this day.

The Final Straw was angsty but it was also dumb and half-cocked and the closest thing to an embarrassment on this account. It was literally just a half-thought half-scene of my 18yo self's emotional state in 2018 that is very evident that I wrote this angrily in study hall. I wrote a lot of fic in that high school during classes. Like a lot. It was my school computer. I got plenty of use out of it. There was no structure or coherent plot. I didn't even hint at anything deeper to be explored in your own minds. I didn't want to look at it long enough or think about it long enough. I just wanted it out of my head. If I didn't have a strict no deleting my works policy, or hiding from my past art policy, I would probably have deleted it within the week of posting. I do not understand how it has the kudos, subscriptions, and bookmarks that it has. I guess it resonated. Good for y'all. I mean it.

Literally just the entirety of Tyler's Bad Year is meant to be about a very traumatic time in a young man's life and him surviving it. I'm not going to go through them and try to pick out "the worst" one. That's not really the point and it'd be largely subjective.

I'll Eat You Raw has an angsty ending but angstiest? I'm not sure.

I don't write a lot of bad endings. Open endings? sure. Complicated endings? Absolutely. But unhappy endings? No. I don't often have the desire.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Jesus fuck we want to be here all day? Ok lemme look through shit again.

Wandering in the Dark has a whole story behind it. There was actually two versions. Only one was posted to ao3 and is the "canon" version. I wrote this fic for a high school assignment my senior year. We were assigned to pick a chronic disease out of a literal hat, then write a story around it. We had complete creative control so I took that chance to write teen wolf steter fanfic in class and actually have it be on task for once (I got an A in that class btw). The reason my teacher got a dark ending version is because by the time he got back to me on the maximum word count, I'd already finished the canon version and it was way too long. I couldn't trim the fat, so I wrote a different ending to shorten the story. That version is one of the angstier stories I've written. The one posted and linked above, is the very happy by comparison. This fic is also designed to be read by someone who doesn't know shit about teen wolf.

Through Thick and Thin was also extremely happy. As is Her Monster. Benevolent Gods was meant to be very hopeful. The Hale Pack (Undying) was the end to a series that was my baby for a long time . Like long enough you can see my writing evolve as you go. Part one was one of the first things i ever wrote. Like ever. The last part was years later. Jasper was meant to be a very light-hearted, happy story as well. It's extremely sweet and fluffy. You was also very happy and the epilogue cemented that happiness. Warning: She Bites literally had a happy end that unknowingly prevented a main character committing suicide in the near future. Saving lives by being horny. Wednesday Evening, and every installment in that series, is excessively happy as well.

Alright I ran through my list of fics. These were the ones that stood out. There's too many to really commit to one answer tbh. Especially because the way they're happy varies.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. Or. Well. I'm sure I do. I block antis on sight and I wholly reject purity culture, and I haven't really been the target of a major attack or anything. I don't get as many hateful comments as one might think, and I don't entertain the ones I do get. I've been accused of vile shit of course because of a fic I wrote. I don't remember what fic or even what ship it was for because I don't dwell on them really at all. Aside from that, I get more entitled but probably ignorant to how they come off as entitled comments that aren't really that big a deal. Just a bit of a peeve sometimes. I honestly think the majority of them truly believe it's a kind gesture when they say it.

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

Yeah. You could say that.

What kind? In a word? Intense. I could make a joke or a long elaboration on my niche in hyde sex and whatnot, but at the end of the day, intense. Even my most laid back, domestic, slice of life fics have a sense of intensity to them because otherwise I get bored and it feels soulless and it's just not my writing style.

10. Do you write cross-overs?

When I feel like it. When I have an idea.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a steter fic on a russian fic website that was translated years ago. I have no idea which it was or if it's still there. Wait! I might remember. Yeah no. I don't remember. It wasn't the one I thought of.

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No. I've started to outline one before but it went nowhere and we both forgot about it.

13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Harry Potter and the Night that Changed Everything.

I had a whole novel basically planned for it. Writing Bellatrix and a Harry who was raised by Bellatrix took a lot out of me emotionally, and I lost steam.

Also, a Bella Swan/Marcus Vulturi fic that i also had a novel length plot planned out, wrote three chapters for, and then lost steam when I left the fandom due to getting the life sucked out of me by a bunch of toxic people in the fandom killing my joy. Those chapters are just collecting dust in my files right now. I'd like to go back to it one day and finish it in some form or another. Maybe it's original enough I could actually just write an original novel out of the scraps I already have. Actually, to be honest, it is probably original enough that I could write it as an original story. There is not a lot of Twilight there that is necessary to the story and can easily be written out. Something to think about maybe. Ironically not the first prompt I thought up initially for Twilight that I then realized nothing about Twilight was necessary for the idea I had, and I just wrote it without Bella entirely. This is how my original zombie novel started and then immediately evolved into an entirely different thing that has nothing to do w Twilight. Like literally nothing. I had to work to put the Twilight into that one. Not the other way around.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

wyler (steter and tomarry honorary).

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterization

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

pacing. movement heavy scenes. Longer projects if only because I have less practice at them.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Yeah. If it fits, I'll write it. I won't pretend to be fluent, but I'll do my best. Probably won't do anything too complicated for the sake of realism of my abilities. Especially if it's not Spanish which I at least have spent time trying to learn.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Wolf

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Listen...

We've established how well I am at picking one end all number one.

Fuck ok. back to the list.

Water of the Womb was one I was planning to write for almost a year and it turned out pretty good I think. Actually no.

No. It's not a fic that's been posted yet.

I think the favorite fic I've ever written is I Bit Him So He's Mine. it's my "Wednesday is a Hyde season one rewrite au". It's my first novel that is more than just a future novel. It's hit 40k and I have to start Act 2 still. It's my first proper murder mystery where the mystery is the primary plot equal to the romance. I've had a lot of fun with it, I've put my heart and soul into it, and I really look forward to calling it ready to post. Once it's done, you guys are getting regular updates for a long time.

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Out of the Fire haunts me. It was a lesson to learn. I had the desire to write a steter/hannigram crossover and zero plan of any kind outside that. It crashed and burned because I only had a first chapter in me. I recently met a local and successful author who recognized my ao3 username because of this fic and remembered me years later enough to compliment my writing (I cannot express how much that meant to me). Wait no that might have been Mark of an Angel which also haunts me, but I didn't have zero plan. I had almost no plan, and lost steam when I hit a creative block at a bad time. Normally, I'd have just sat down and workshopped a starter outline and wrote myself out of that block, but I lost steam so I never did. Different deal. Not as impactful in my creative journey. Out of the Fire, however, was very important to me because of why it failed, and remains very influential with every new project I start. Actually rewriting/finishing that project would be a defining moment for me as a writer, I think. At least to me personally.

Tagging: @duplicitywrites, @dispatchvampire, @dark-visitors, @fiktorsempra, @graciebirdie, @gardenoblues, @grim-reaper-barbie13, @gabelish, @killingdoll, @lavender-lotion, @lovepoison9, @wednesdayandherhyde, @udunie, @itshype, @insomniac1994, @onlyangelxo, @obsidianpen, @ourdramaqueen, @persephoneed, @pororoh, @badmoodbatflowers, @brascu

#wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #wyler #my writing #tomarry #wednesday fanfic #teen wolf #steter #hannigram #thorki #harrymort #not all of my teen wolf fics were steter but most were #i am also v proud of my stallison fic #sometimes i just write one fic for a ship i had an idea about but only really had the one passion project for #this also included jasper/bella #and was going to include marcus/bella #i had a Caius/Bella idea as well that I never had the chance to start

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sasheneskywalker · 1 year ago

Text

batfamily fic recs where the main character is transgender or non-binary

Laying My Heart Out by rotasha Bruce doesn’t have friends. Until he has Oliver.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Oliver Queen & Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne

if you get lost (you can always be found) by corvidspectre Originally, it was easy to believe it was just over-eager adoration for one Dick Grayson. It was too easy to believe in fact; how could he have known there was any alternative? Dick Grayson was amazing, all that he wanted to be. The way he flew through the air, his effortless smiles and energy, what young child wouldn't want to be him? He was just idolising him, and he was a perfectly fine role model for a young girl to have. Maybe it was just a blossoming interest in gymnastics.

It took Tim a while to realise he didn't just want to be like Dick Grayson.

He wanted to be a boy. No, he was a boy. He was sure of it.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Past Tim Drake/Stephanie Brown

by any other name would smell as sweet by misspickman A dare and a couple of offhand comments set off a domino effect, sending Tim down one or two identity crises. Apparently everyone thinks it's time for him to do some self-reflection.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Batfamily Members & Tim Drake, Bart Allen & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Cassie Sandsmark

A hold on me by Anonymous Damian starts thinking about self-identity. Things both are and aren’t difficult. Growing up is hard, you know.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | No Relationships

always an angel (never a god) by maruyaaya When Jason Todd is twelve, people begin calling him the ‘Boy Wonder’ and while Jason is, of course, extremely pleased to have taken up such an important mantle, it also feels wrong in a way that he can’t quite put his finger on.

“Look at me! I’m Robin, the Boy Wonder!” Jason cheers the first time he has the Robin suit on, Dick Grayson’s old nickname coming out of his mouth with a sickly sort of feeling to it.

But then Bruce smiles at him like he’s finally done something worth being proud of and Jason feels like he can ignore the way his skin is crawling if it means Bruce will smile at him like that again.

He can change, can’t he? He can be the Boy Wonder that Bruce wants him to be. He can do it. He can be whatever Bruce wants him to be. It doesn’t matter what she wants.

or;

a canon compliant fic following the life of jason todd from birth to death to re-birth and their struggles with discovering who—and what—they are.

M | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Roy Harper/Jason Todd

Spoiler Alert: It Gets Better. by carolinaa Red Hood's been running Robin's Nest, a secret youth shelter in Gotham, since he came out of his murdery craze. He wants it to be a place to stay, no questions asked, with a hot meal provided if you stick around for breakfast. The kids of Gotham deserve that much.

Enter Stephanie, whose new name isn't the only secret she's keeping.

(or: how steph outsmarts her dad, makes gay friends, and gets the guy)

T | Archive Warnings Apply | Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake

loot my body by carolinaa Jason comes back to life, and finds that everyone's mourning someone who never existed.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Talia al Ghul & Jason Todd, Roy Harper & Koriand'r & Jason Todd

These Twists and Turns of Fate by Hinn_Raven To be born is to exist, but to live is something else entirely. Stephanie Brown falls apart, and pulls herself back together. OR Stephanie Brown is assigned a different name and gender at birth. These are the changes that result.

G | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake, Harper Row/Carrie Kelley, Stephanie Brown & Harper Row, Stephanie Brown & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown & Crystal Brown, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake

Prince of Gotham by snackbaskets Gotham wasn't kind to its girls. Jason would brutalize it until it agreed to be. He only hoped it would spare him long enough to make it so.

T | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply | Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Gotham, Catherine Todd & Jason Todd

#dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #damian wayne #oliver queen #fanfiction #fanfic #fic recs #fic rec #fanfic recs #fanfic rec

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grapenehifics · 1 year ago

Note

Trick or treat! I have a costume on but you can't see it because I've got a giant snowsuit over top in true Canadian Halloween fashion

Ah, in that case I will offer you a steaming mug of hot chocolate or apple cider, your choice, I have both, and also this plot bunny I've had running around my brain for the past couple of days:

Anakin moved to (city housing large university) to attend (said large university) but after a semester or two discovered that formal schooling wasn't doing it for him and he was both making good money with and getting more enjoyment out of his side hustle, custom carpentry, than from his classes and quit, but he still lives in (city). He's had insomnia his whole life and some nights just gives up on sleep and goes out to his backyard/garage converted workshop. There's an old transistor radio out there - maybe it got left behind by the last owners - and he turns it on just to have some background noise while he works.

He's scrolling the dial past all the commercials for personal injury lawyers and lands on some real banger of a song, which he's never heard before but he's into it so he pauses the lathe or whatever he has running and waits to listen for the station to tell him the name of the song so he can look it up later, but after the song ends it pivots straight to some spoken-word poetry thing, and now Anakin's intrigued because, what the hell is this station?

Finally the dj comes on and says okay, folks, that's the end of the show, I'm Ben Kenobi and this has been Guiding Light, thanks for staying up with me. Anakin looks at the dial and realizes he's been listening to the local university student station.

This keeps happening, and Anakin kind of becomes obsessed with Ben Kenobi and Guiding Light. He's only on two or three nights a week, for only a couple of hours at a time, in the middle of the night, and he seems to have no oversight at all because he plays the weirdest mix of stuff - classical, film scores, comedy albums, half of an audiobook, one night he played a Robert Johnson song and then for the next hour nothing but cover versions of that song, the show before Halloween he played the entirety of Orson Welles' War of the Worlds and then one of those 'spooky sounds' albums while reading Edgar Allen Poe short stories on top of it - one time he even said he'd been really caught up in this book he'd been reading and he didn't want to stop long enough to do the show so he was going to give a synopsis of what had happened so far and then read the next chapter out loud on the air. Anakin has no idea what to expect but he knows that he feels less lonely, when Ben is there, and somehow even though Ben has no idea he exists it feels like they're the only two people in the world, out in Anakin's workshop in the middle of the night.

Anakin Googles him, because he's kind of worried that if he's on the university radio station then maybe that means he's some university kid and Anakin has a crush on a nineteen-year-old (even though he doesn't sound anything like a college student), and all he finds is the radio station website, which has a huge page for all their other shows but Guiding Light gets exactly one sentence: "Ben Kenobi has been hosting Guiding Light since 2004". So, probably not a kid, then, but he's got no social whatsoever, no pictures or online presence at all, and Anakin considers driving down to the station but dismisses that as too creepy so he just resigns himself to listening to Ben when he can.

And then one night Ben gets on the air and says, 'I've got nothing planned for tonight and I feel like chatting. Here's the number of the station. Anyone want to talk?'

Anakin swallows, picks up his phone, and dials the number.

#wip wednesday #obikin #wolfman jack AU #that's a joke; I'm not really going to call it that lol

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shrinkthisviolet · 7 months ago

Note

⭐️

Ooh I'll go with my s9 finale Savitar fic for this one (which is almost a year old! How time flies):

So for starters...I didn't plan to write this fic at first. I was pretty determined not to write any fics post-s6...although I'd already broken that rule once, and I was so upset about how Savitar was misused in the s9 finale, so I decided to break it a second time 😅

Specifically, I zeroed in on the two dynamics I found more underused and fascinating: Savitar & Thawne...and Savitar & Nora

...also a little Savitar & Zoom, but I mostly focused on the two mentioned before, with the Zoom stuff as merely a mention. As intriguing as it was...this kept the focus more narrowed, more focused on Savitar's internal struggle, which Zoom wouldn't be able to coax out as effectively as Thawne (who is connected to Barry in a way Zoom could never be)

Thawne and Nora here act as his "devil" and "angel" respectively, so to speak. Thawne reminds him over and over again that he's Barry, to taunt him and his weakness:

“But you do. Because you’re still Barry, under all that armor. You still feel guilty for what happened…you still blame yourself.”

…

“Although, if we’re being technical…it is your fault, isn’t it? For trusting my word and then breaking your own end of the bargain.”

…

“I’m the reason you even became the Flash, Barry. Don’t forget that.”

…

“...never,” he added sharply, “make the mistake of thinking I don’t know you, Barry. I know you better than anyone in the world. Never forget that.”

(The last two are nearly the same sentiment, but you get the idea)

He also rubs Zoom in Savitar's face, and we get to see a peek of Barry's PTSD in Savitar:

“I hear Zoom gave you a run for your money the first time you fought.” Thawne laughed. “Is Barry Allen still afraid of the big, bad wolf?”

“I’m not afraid of Zoom,” Savitar hissed, “I just know my priorities.”

I healed from that. I’ve moved on from it. The nightmares are gone. It’s fine. It’s fine.

Villains don’t get nightmares. Villains aren’t afraid.

Not-so-deep-down, he's Barry. And guess who else knows it? Nora West-Allen. Not connected to Savitar in any way—in his time loop, she never existed. He's not her father, she's not his daughter. And yet:

“Savitar.” Her face flitted between fear and…and something else. “Or should I call you Dad?”

…

“No. Talk to you. Savitar—Barry—”

“Don’t call me that, XS. It’s not my name.”

“It was, once,” she insisted, every bit as stubborn as Iris.

She sees him as her father 🥺 as another version of him, but no less him. And, clearly, Barry and Iris feel the same way. Nora's father is not the same Barry who shunned Savitar...we saw in 3x23 that he tried to avert that, and even after Savitar's defeat, Barry's still haunted by him: the version of him that he couldn't save. Or, as Nora puts it:

“The villain that never should have been…that’s what the Flash Museum calls you too.”

Ofc Savitar takes this badly, but Nora explains that the moniker is one of compassion and guilt. See, unlike their fight in canon, we actually get an exploration of the Barry attributes inside Savitar, Nora's love for him because of how much she loves her dad (all versions of him, no matter what)...and also this:

But Nora just smiled and looked down…and Savitar suppressed a laugh as he followed her gaze. Nora West-Allen was phasing through his blade, cheating death as speedsters tended to do.

Barry’s clever girl. His clever girl. Nora couldn’t possibly have any other father with that smile.

And Savitar, no matter how much he wished it, could never truly escape his name, his past…his family.

He was Barry Allen, and he always would be. Looking at Nora only confirmed that.

…

She scoffed. “You’re terrible at this.”

“Watch your tone, young lady,” he scolded, the words automatic.

Nora grinned. “Schway. See you around…Dad.”

Hmm...seems something else of Barry carried over into Savitar 👀 just because Nora's not technically his daughter doesn't mean he can't love her like she is anyway. Half of her is from him...and they're connected in the Speed Force. On some level...he looks at her and thinks, "my daughter. She's my daughter too."

And of course, Anakin & Luke style…almost killing Nora is what gets Savitar to realize he's Barry and he can't deny it 🥰 he still meets the same fate of being…absorbed by Eddie or something (…don’t ask me to explain, I couldn’t if I tried), but it’s on a happier/bittersweet note than canon.

Mind you, he's wearing his suit throughout this entire scene with Nora in this fic. This is a scene the writers could've easily written, even with their restriction of not being able to unmask Savitar (due to Grant apparently getting COVID).

Instead, what we got is a brief few seconds in which they fight, Savitar says she'll die like her mother nearly did, and then she legitimately defeats him and smiles. That's...no. I hate that.

So I challenged myself to write that same scene but to expand it (with Savitar & Thawne as a “devil” prelude to lead into the “angel” segment with Nora). And I think it turned out really well 🥰 and it sparked my love for Savitar & Nora...which I intend to write more of one day 👀

(Also, as a comedic bonus:

He laughed. “And the serrated pizza face too. You look ridiculous.”

This is a callback to 5x8, when Thawne describes Savitar’s face that way)

director’s commentary ask game!

#savitar #nora west allen #eobard thawne #the flash #director’s commentary ask game #fanfic ask game

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verityshandle · 2 months ago

Text

Yours.

Media: Punishing: Gray Raven Pair: Lee x Polaris Type: One-shot Word Count: 5765 words

Notes I just started archiving old fics. Original publish date will not be listed heehee

That day was yet another busy day for Polaris. The same old work with papers and reports, as Gray Raven had not been dispatched to a surface mission since a few weeks ago. Even if Polaris herself found surface missions to be dangerous and energy-draining, at least it was less boring than making reports, sending data, or signing countless documents. But that was her duty, and her source of happiness--she still enjoyed working as a commandant, and her job was a way for her to throw her past behind. Being in Gray Raven had calmed her soul down, even when the field was full of tumultuous battles.

Exhausted with work, the commandant decided to look around to rest her eyes on the screen, and at the center of the office was Lucia, who was busy helping Polaris with her work. Even Polaris didn't understand why she was there, sitting on the couch and sorting her document archives. The only conclusion she could get was that Lucia did not want her to shoulder everything alone. Polaris was a bit confused but ended up accepting her help. Perhaps Lucia was right, she mustn't work alone all the time.

Her eyes wandered again, this time noticing Liv. Her hands were busy making some crafts, possibly to decorate their shared office or to decorate her dormitory. Regardless of her reason for making those crafts shaped like sheep, rabbits, frogs, and other kinds of animals, Polaris liked the look of the crafts. But due to not wanting to disturb Liv's concentration, Polaris refrained from telling Liv that she was doing a good job with making the crafts. Instead, she focused again on her work and finished whatever she was told while they were not out on a surface mission. Slacking off too much won't be a good thing.

For what felt like an eternity, Polaris' attention was on her work. She had finished two reports about Gray Raven's activities within the past month as well as their latest surface missions, and replying to some important emails from Celica, until she was checking one more email from Celica. One that surprised her the most due to the contents inside of it, as well as the sender of the e-mail.

Dear Polaris,

I hope this email finds you well. My name is Allen, and I am writing on behalf of the World Government Association of Art. I would like to extend a warm invitation to you and Gray Raven to attend our banquet at the Main Hall of the World Government Association of Art's building. I and all executive staff of the World Government Association of Art had discussed with Eden Government's executive figures before writing this mail to invite you and Gray Raven as a whole, and after receiving their approval, I have decided to write this invitation to you.

We, the World Government Association of Art, are hoping that you would like to come and present a speech about the progress of Gray Raven's future plans in hopes of lifting the beliefs and spirits of the other banquet attendees. We believe you are more than capable of being our fire of hope in this chaotic, dystopian world. You can also allow Gray Raven to speak about their hopes for the future as well, should you wish for them to say a few words as well.

Your and Gray Raven's presence would mean so much to every attendee, as well as to me and the World Government Association of Art as a whole. We hope that you and Gray Raven can attend our event. A follow-up mail will be sent about the date of the banquet to you, two days before the event.

Sincerely,

Allen

President of World Government Association of Art

For a moment, Polaris could not believe her eyes. Being invited to a banquet at WGAA and giving an inspirational speech was not on her list of things that could happen during the current month. For better or worse, all of Gray Raven was invited, and the event was going to be held within a few days. She could've sworn that she panicked inside, but managed to keep herself together for the time being.

"Lucia, Liv." She called the two girls calmly. At the voice of their commandant, the two girls quickly got up and approached Polaris' desk, their eyes showing a mixture of curiosity and concern. "Something that we can help with, Commandant?" Polaris shook her head. "Nothing, I only wanted to announce something. I will send comms to Lee, he also needs to be here. This is pretty important, I think."

Opening her comms terminal, Polaris sent a voice message to Lee, ordering him to come quickly to her office. At this point in time, Polaris was familiar enough with Lee's schedule from her observations of his activities. Lee's activity at this hour was to be in his personal workspace doing whatever he wanted, just a few rooms away from the Gray Raven's main office. It took a while for Lee to finish his work, before giving Polaris a quick, short reply to her voice message. Be there in a second, it read.

After a few more minutes of waiting, Lee finally entered the main office. He received expectant looks from the other three, but the look that caught his attention the most was the look from the commandant herself. He could've sworn the thermal modules were burning again but to a lesser degree than the ones he usually felt. "What is it, Commandant?"

Satisfied, Polaris clapped her hands. Taking a deep breath, she began explaining the reason why she gathered all of them inside the office. "So, for... whatever reason, WGAA has invited all of us to come to their banquet on Saturday. I was expected to give a speech, and the important guy from WGAA said that you guys could give a speech of your own if any of you would like to. Not mandatory, but you can."

Lucia, Liv, and Lee nodded in understanding, yet Polaris could see a tinge of surprise in all of the Construct's eyes. She felt a bit of relief in her chest, knowing that her squad was equally surprised as her. Or better, knowing that there's a probability that they were also as nervous as her. For a moment, Polaris continued to observe them in silence, as if she was waiting for an answer from the three Constructs before her.

"Perhaps I should give a speech too, as I am Gray Raven's captain. Would you mind that, Commandant?" Lucia asked Polaris. From her tone, Polaris knew that she was determined to help lessen the burden of speaking in front of many people, and she also wanted to carry out her duty as a captain. Lee and Liv, on the other hand, did not say a thing, indicating their refusal to say anything at the banquet. Polaris clapped again, satisfied that everything was settled. "Great. Lucia and I will give some words to the attendees, you both can wait. The banquet is in a few days, so you might want to prepare your best outfits. I will also do the same."

"Roger, Commandant!"

Polaris nodded in satisfaction and dismissed her squad. Lucia and Liv immediately returned to what they were doing until they were done, leaving for their own quarters. Lee also did the same, walking out of the office to head to his room while thinking of his commandant's words. Yet before Lee had left the office completely, he heard a voice call out to him.

"Lee, I look forward to what you'll be wearing."

"It's probably the same suit you've seen me wearing, but I'll make it clean and crisp for the event."

In his room, Lee pondered in front of his coating wardrobe. His thoughts drifted back to the day when he wore that suit. He remembered he wore that suit when he and the Gray Ravens were out on a special mission to entertain children at an event. He would perform various magic tricks, and gain reward tickets for it. He also remembered how he performed tricks at the streets during the same event and made sure his angle was perfect for the commandant herself to see, and tell her about the secrets of some of his magic tricks. Lee remembered it all fondly.

But the memory that Lee remembered best, was how he made a flurry of paper roses that rained down, and many people picked a rose to give to their special ones. He would never admit it, but he considered the gesture sweet. And for his commandant specifically, he hid a small package of chocolate inside the petals. It made him flustered, but what made him even more flustered was the fact that all the events had happened after that day.

The day they professed their feelings for one another on The Nighter.

Lee was aware of his commandant's feelings, and so did Polaris with Lee’s. However, it had stopped at that and never went further. They had no "status". They did not specify it at all. To them, acknowledging and accepting one another's feelings were more than enough. After all, he and Polaris were living in what seemed to be an endless war. A wrong decision, and their relationship would be over.

But today, Lee somehow felt differently about the idea.

Lee began to think, what if others would approach the commandant, and profess their love? What if the others would make her leave him, as they still had no relationship status at all? What if he lost Polaris? Those thoughts began to fill his mind, and it was making him feel uneasy. He also thought, now that he and Polaris had gone quite far in their relationship, why not make things official with her?

But again, Lee was still hesitant. He had the possibility of forcing his feelings too much towards Polaris should he ever voice his desire to make Polaris his girlfriend. More importantly, would she agree to his request? Lee knew that commitments were not Polaris' forte, and she preferred things to be more open-ended. Asking Polaris to be his might lead to him losing her, so in the end, Lee decided to keep quiet.

"... I'll think of it some other time," Lee mused. He then proceeded to browse the clothes inside his coating wardrobe and took a good look at the coating he wore during that event. Without realizing it, Lee had a small smile plastered on his face. His artificial heart's beating rate also grew. Was he excited? Probably yes. But like usual, Lee would never voice it out.

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Back in the office, Polaris was still busy with her work. Luckily, Polaris only needed to reply to a few more emails and send some documents before she could finish and prepare for the banquet. She had to make sure that she had the appropriate attire to attend the event, and soon after she finished her work, Polaris immediately headed to her dormitory to look at her wardrobe. She had an assortment of clothes, yet none seemed to suit the occasion. Polaris began to wonder, was she too focused on her job that she barely had time to buy clothes, or add more variations to her wardrobe? But then again, her job was always related to office work or combat. If she was not working, she would only wear casual clothes.

"I need to get clothes for formal occasions today. I need at least two or three dresses, just in case I will be invited to more of these things."

Polaris closed her wardrobe doors slowly with thoughts of going shopping in her mind. Afterward, she checked her current amount of Black Cards inside her account. "This is probably enough," Polaris muttered to herself. A sigh of relief escaped the commandant's lips, knowing she had enough time and money to buy her something nice later on the streets of Babylonia before the banquet. Deciding that she would prepare ahead of time instead of the last minute, she took off her coat and threw it aside before heading out from the main office. After all, she was done with her work–she could do whatever she wanted.

Outside, Polaris was met with the sight of Lee, who seemed to be done with his crafts inside his dormitory and decided to head out for himself. When he saw Polaris, he had a strange look on his face, as if he was scanning Polaris in a way. "Going somewhere, Commandant?" Lee asked, to which Polaris replied with a simple nod. She had guessed that Lee was just curious about where she was heading, hence making her walk past Lee while keeping quiet.

But Lee wasn't going to buy her silence just like that.

Quickly, he followed Polaris and caught up to her, before matching his walking pace with hers. His actions were met with a look of surprise from Polaris, yet she decided to leave him be and let him follow her. As they walked together outside the building, Polaris decided to ask the blond Construct the question she just had in mind: "Why did you decide to follow me?"

Lee only replied with a shrug and kept quiet. But should anyone look close enough, the heat in his thermal module was rising. His mind also replayed a scene from his memory, back to the times when Polaris would accompany him to buy a chip when her small dancing robot was broken and needed a chip replacement. He knew that to him and Polaris, that day felt like a date, even when it was not one and they were yet to develop feelings for one another. Another memory of the "date" that Lee remembered was the way he tugged at Polaris' arm and pulled her away when a girl walked up to him and asked for his number. Now that Lee thought of it, he was a bit out of his mind when he just pulled Polaris away like that. It's as if he was pulling away his girlfriend when she wasn't even his.

"... I only wanted to accompany you. Just think of it as my way of repaying you for accompanying me back when I was buying the chip for your robot. Plus, going outside alone for a woman isn't the best idea."

Polaris nodded in acknowledgment, now that she knew of Lee's intent to follow her outside. Lee's second statement, however, intrigued her in a way. Did he mean that he wanted to protect her from men who could harass her? Polaris would never know, but that was her safest bet considering Lee's earlier statement. The pair kept silent on their way out until they reached Babylonia's shopping district. It puzzled Lee a little for her to be here.

"Why here, out of all places?" Lee asked, his blue eyes looking intently at Polaris. What puzzled him even more, was that Polaris was looking for a boutique. Polaris chose to keep her mouth shut, however, and continued walking towards a boutique that sold fancy dresses. When Lee followed her inside the boutique and browsed through the dresses, he finally understood why Polaris would head to a boutique. She was there to get herself a new dress for the banquet.

Lee kept on following Polaris around, accompanying her browse through the dresses. For some reason, he had an urge to help Polaris pick a dress but he decided to stay silent for the time being and let his commandant choose what she wanted. The first dress she had an eye on was a black high-low dress with silver ornaments. Polaris thought that the dress was pretty, but decided against buying it because of the sudden discomfort she had when imagining herself in it. The second one she had an eye on was a halter dress. It was black in color, but she considered it too plain in terms of design due to the lack of ornaments on it. The third one was a wrap dress with a large, white silk ribbon and some sparkles to decorate it. Even so, Polaris was still not a fan of the dress silhouette, and only loved the silk ribbon. Sighing, Polaris looked at Lee like she was begging for him to help her choose. Lee took notice and nodded at Polaris with confidence. "My fashion sense is good enough. I'll help you pick. You can sit somewhere, Commandant," Lee instructed.

As Lee told, the commandant took a seat at one of the small chairs inside the boutique while Lee moved around to choose a dress for her. Polaris felt a bit concerned, yet she would trust Lee's judgment for today. Lee, on the other hand, walked around the boutique and browsed through the dresses. He considered Ris' preference to even the smallest details like the decorative aspects. It took Lee a while until he came back to his commandant with a black knee-length tulle dress with black lace on the upper parts. The outermost layer of the dress also had a white gradient, and not much sparkles were present--just the way Polaris preferred. Walking back to Polaris, he presented her with his dress of choice.

The commandant could not believe her eyes. Lee just picked out a dress, a beautiful one, even. When asked about the price, Lee replied, "It's affordable for you. 4,500 Black Cards, while you've saved up more than 700,000." He remarked while showing the price tag to his commandant. Excited, she took the dress from Lee and headed for the fitting room to try it out for herself. The dress suited her perfectly, but she still decided to ask Lee for his opinion on the dress. Coming out from the fitting room, she called out to Lee. "So... Does this suit me enough?"

Lee swore that the heat inside his modules was rising again. The sight of his commandant wearing such a pretty dress and the idea of seeing her in that with other accessories during the banquet made him feel both flustered and excited at the same time. "... Good enough, Commandant," Lee remarked. Even with his words that sounded harsh, Polaris could tell that it was his way of telling her that she looked good, and that was how it always was.

After gaining Lee's approval, Polaris headed back to the fitting room to change back into her regular clothes. She planned to buy only that dress for the occasion and after changing back, she and Lee immediately headed for the cashier. When Polaris paid for her dress, the store clerk said to her, "Such a nice dress! And I saw that your partner chose it for you, too. How sweet of him!"

Polaris scratched her head nervously at the remark. This was not the first time that people called Lee as her partner. In fact, this was probably the tenth time someone would say it. She has heard things from other commandants about how close she was towards Lee, and she even heard from neighboring squads and even from Lee's brother Murray. "N-no, he's not my partner. He's just a colleague from my workplace who happened to pass by my workplace, and he decided to accompany me while I go shopping," Polaris remarked, defending herself from the claim. In addition, Lee also nodded at Polaris' words and made it seem like he agreed with her, even if he was in the colleague-zone. At least, they confessed to each other on the Kowloong Nighter at some point in time.

Done with their shopping, the pair walked outside the boutique and took in the air of Babylonia's artificial atmosphere. Polaris was about to ask Lee whether he wanted to head elsewhere than just shopping, but Lee already had a destination in mind. "I will be outside for long. I just remembered that I had to grab a few things, and it's probably better for you not to follow me around. You'll get exhausted," Lee remarked. "I'll be sure to be back before six in the evening. Be careful on your way back, Commandant."

Lee turned his back from Polaris and walked towards the distance. Polaris was a bit confused, but decided to shrug it off and head back. She understood that Lee was worried about her stamina, and heading back was her best option. Following Lee around while he was shopping would only lead him into scolding her, so Polaris took her leave back to the office. A mixture of happiness and disappointment was inside her chest–Polaris was glad that Lee chose a dress for her, but she felt a bit disappointed that she didn't get to accompany Lee outside for longer.

"I should head back," Polaris muttered to herself. Turning her heel, she headed back to the Gray Raven office with her new dress in hand. As for Lee, he headed elsewhere--one that his commandant probably won't bother to ask about. He had his own agenda to fulfill, and he refused to explain to his commandant until the time was finally right.

The few days passed like the blink of an eye for Gray Raven. Polaris and Lucia had prepared their speeches, the follow-up mail about the set date was already received and read, and each Gray Raven member had chosen their attire for the event. Tonight was their big night, and so they had to look their best.

Especially the commandant, who had been staring in front of her vanity mirror for a few minutes.

Polaris had applied her make-up and wore the dress she bought a few days prior, yet she felt like something was off about her. Seeing herself in the mirror all dolled up felt off for her–it did not feel like her, if anything. Her style had never been this feminine, and so Polaris felt a bit nervous to go out in such a manner. Moreover, the speech she was going to give was nerve-racking. The eyes would all be on her, and she mustn't mess up.

"Nngh..." Polaris grunted. She felt like her stomach was being churned from the anxiety. Failure had always been her biggest enemy, and should she mess up during her speech, she would feel like she wanted to bury herself six meters deep under the ground.

In the midst of her thoughts, a knock on the metal door of her quarters snapped her out. Polaris quickly opened the door, revealing Lee with a white, medium-sized box in his hand. "I see that you're ready, Commandant. Here, I brought you something. It's up to you whether you want to wear them today or not."

Lee left her quarters as abruptly as he arrived, leaving the commandant in confusion. Polaris closed the door before she took a good, long look at the box. It had nothing like a logo on it, suggesting that the box was from Lee himself. Curious, she opened the box slowly and saw its contents--a pair of black lace gloves, earrings, and a card that read, "Think of these as my gratitude for you, Commandant. Good luck with your speech later."

At that moment, Polaris could've sworn she had a dumb smile on her face as she slipped her hands inside the gloves. But for a moment, she hesitated to wear the earrings due to her feelings of discontent in giving herself more accessories.

But well, it was for Lee's sake anyway. Might as well make him happy.

Luckily, all she had to do was clip them on her ears and she was ready for the night's big event. Once she was all set, she headed out from her quarters and met up with her squad.

The WGAA main hall was filled with many important guests from equally many factions, some of which are acquaintances to Allen himself. For the commandant, it was nerve-racking to know that she would be speaking to that many people in one venue. As she was connected to Lucia at that time, the female Construct could feel how nervous her commandant was. "We will nail this, Commandant," Lucia reassured, patting Polaris on her shoulder. "Liv and Lee would be watching us too, so just focus on them and pretend no one else is here."

Lucia's words encouraged Polaris enough, and during their time to head on the stage, they were prepared and ready. Polaris felt like there were no eyes that were going to judge her, and the focus of her mind was on Gray Raven. She knew that they would still love her regardless of the mistakes she made while delivering her speech. The event began with a greeting from Allen himself, before it was time for the Gray Raven commandant to take the stage.

The greeting and first few paragraphs of Polaris' speech went pretty well, with her addressing many issues smoothly. Her voice was clear, unlike how she would usually talk in her workplace. For the first time after a few years had passed, she felt quite alive to talk in front of others. Gray Raven got her back, after all.

For a few more paragraphs, Polaris was doing great. Lucia, who was looking at her commandant's performance, lightly clapped her hand. The sight of her commandant being in her zone was a rare sight in her eyes, and she loved every second of it. Unfortunately, Lucia's excitement didn't last long the moment Polaris' mind blanked out. To make matters worse, she spotted someone giving her commandant a few looks of displeasure as if to show disgust.

And to Polaris, the one who saw it all, it stung her a little. But she had to focus herself again before she could finally finish her speech. A few seconds of backtracking later, and she managed to finish her speech with an apology, a thank you, and a polite bow towards the audience before exhaling in relief and leaving the stage for Lucia's speech. Below, she was met with an equally excited Liv, and a proud Lee.

"You did amazing, Commandant!"

"I agree. You may have blanked out a little back there, but it wasn't bad."

Polaris was relieved. The sight of the people with the disgusted looks seemed to have just disappeared from her mind at the sight of her teammates. And for a few more minutes, her gaze was locked on Lucia's figure. The way she delivered everything was perfect, and her expression showed resolution in every word she spoke. As Lucia's commandant, she loved how alive Lucia felt there too.

"And that concludes what I could deliver tonight. Thank you very much for your attention."

Lucia bowed down to the audience, and then followed with the sound of people clapping as she got down from the stage. Once she was back with her squad, she gave a cue for all of Gray Raven to do a fistbump like how they once did in Kowloong some time ago. After a closing from Allen, they proceeded to enjoy the night like how they originally intended while live music played in the background to liven up the atmosphere. Lucia quickly headed to the sweets corner, while Liv was being approached by women and girls who were invited to the banquet for small talk. Polaris on the other hand, headed to the drinks area. The melon-flavored syrup drink attracted her eyes, and she wanted to have a sip of that. On the other hand, Lee decided to go away from the crowd while no one was looking. The stairs that lead to the upper corridors of the WGAA building caught Lee's attention, and he decided to head upstairs for a little alone time before going back to his commandant and squad.

Lee saw the endless void of space through the windows. He knew that it was probably an illusory space created to project the times where Earth was still the blue planet it once was before the Punishing Virus broke out at some point, but it didn't matter–it was beautiful, and he was going to keep his eyes on the sight while his mind wandered around in a reverie. Lee's thoughts from a few days back began to intensify. He really wanted to say it–say that he wanted to officially make Polaris his girlfriend. Say that he wanted to be the only person that would take care of her. Say that he wanted to be the one who would protect her.

But of course, his anxiety was still there. The fear of rejection, the feeling of getting pushed away by the commandant that he had devoted himself to. He didn't want any of those to happen. Sighing, Lee closed his eyes for a few moments to focus himself again. He felt like he was being illogical for wanting to claim his commandant all to himself and thinking about his emotions too much. But that side of him–the side he had when he was still known as Morian, was still right there somewhere in his M.I.N.D. and begged him to just give in to his feelings. The conflicting thoughts led Lee nowhere, and he felt himself getting more unstable. Was he on the verge of tears? Lee didn't know, but he hated it for sure.

Lee almost fell completely into his negative feelings, but then he felt a familiar voice call out to him in worry. Turning his head to the voice's direction, he saw Polaris looking at him in worry. "I have kept connections with all of Gray Raven's M.I.N.D. system, but yours is the most unstable, Lee. Something wrong?"

The blonde Construct flinched upon hearing his commandant's words. So she had been keeping herself connected, Lee thought. As much as he was flustered to admit that his M.I.N.D. was unstable from all the thoughts he had, he felt relieved that Polaris was there. Lee was considering using this as a chance, but he had to confirm that everything was under control.

"Not much. Just some crazy fluctuations, but I'm glad you are here."

"... If you say so."

Polaris decided that she would have to keep Lee company for a while, in case the fluctuations happen again. But due to how she kept herself connected, she could still feel the tension coming from Lee like he wanted to say something he had long kept in mind but did not dare to say a word about it. "Lee, you know you can trust me. Do you want to say something to me?" Polaris asked again with the same concerned tone as before. "I can't understand M.I.N.D. fluctuations, so it's better to tell me if you got something that you're worried about."

Hearing his commandant's words, Lee only sighed and averted his gaze to the window. His mind was still weighing all the options and results he could get from asking his commandant out, causing more fluctuations in his system. Polaris clearly did not like it, making her cut her connection with Lee and rushed to hold his metal fingers. Cold, Polaris thought. But at least her hands were warm enough to ease the tension Lee felt in one way or another.

Lee flinched at the gesture. Never in his life he thought that he would hold hands with a woman–one that he had feelings for and cared for the most, even. Awkwardly, he let himself hold Polaris' hand back while looking away from her as the heat inside his thermal modules rose. The tension calmed down a little, but Polaris could still feel it. Deciding that she should reattempt to calm down the blonde Construct for one last time, she chose to scold him. "Lee, I really don't know what's with you tonight, but I wish to know. Tell me everything–I want to help."

Feeling the force coming from his commandant's words, Lee relented and took a deep breath. Afterwards, he looked over to the commandant and locked his gaze with hers. Despite the countless possibilities of responses, Lee decided to take the chance. To Lee, it's better than regret. He had many regrets already, and he did not want to have them in those moments like what he was having at that moment. "Commandant, we live in a tumultuous world, we knew that already. And I also knew that it was the reason why you chose not to specify our relationship. But tonight, I wanted to make things different."

Lee stayed silent for a while, then continued his words as he finally looked at his commandant. "I just... want to be yours, Commandant. Sure, a relationship may not work in this universe, but I want to try and make things work. So, Commandant... Do you wish to be mine?"

Polaris couldn't believe her ears. Lee was asking her to be his lover right in front of her. Blood rushed to the commandant's cheeks, and the grip she had on Lee's hand grew tighter. Polaris let out a small squeak in an attempt to respond, but no words came out from her lips from how flustered she was at Lee's request to be her lover. "It's okay, Commandant. I understand that you may not want to, but–"

"No, Lee. I want to be yours."

Lee swore that his heat regulation module was going into overdrive. Polaris accepted him. However, he had to keep a calm look on his face, resulting in them awkwardly holding hands while the light from the scenery behind them illuminated the dim corridor. Polaris' face was blushing, while Lee averted his gaze from his commandant and held his chin with his right hand. They stayed in position for a long while, until Polaris proposed to go back to the first floor.

"Oh, um... Should we head back now?"

"Y-yes. We should. Gray Raven might be looking for us."

Polaris and Lee headed downstairs together, still hand-in-hand. It all still felt awkward and different, especially with their status after they finally sealed their relationship. But they were also looking forward to their future. Even if they knew that the road ahead wouldn't be smooth, they knew they would still have each other. They would still continue helping and protecting one another like before. Be it as a commandant and aide or as lovers, they would still be doing the same thing no matter which universe they were in.

That was their choice, and that was a choice they would never regret.

#punishing gray raven lee #pgr lee #pgr #punishing gray raven #oc x canon #yumeship #520-pgr

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gizm0-gadgetz · 1 year ago

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Epilogue Au - Chapter 2

Desmond and lucas visit Allen in the hospital, quite surprised by his conditon.

Not super happy with this, but id like to move on :)

"Visiting or checking in?" The receptionist looked up from her magazine, confiriming they were there before sighing and closing it.

"Visiting." He informed, noticing her shocked expression that quickly returned to normal. With the state of the world, Desmond didnt blame her surprise. She didnt comment on it though, which he was thankful for.

"Both of you?" She eyed Lucas who was stood behind Desmond with his hands in his pockets. He nodded. "Alright, who is it you wanna visit today?"

"Allen Shore." This time she didn't bother hiding her supprise.

"Really? Him?" She shook her head and went to at the patient files. Lucas glared at her as her back was turned, clearly not happy with that reaction. "Right." She sets the file down on the desk and looks through it quickly. "Room I-17." Desmond opened his mouth to ask where it was, she just pointed. "Down the hall that way."

"Right. Thank you." He smiles, but she had already gone back to her magazine. Lucas started walking immediately, so he quickly followed. Once again it was silent between the two of them. They could only pray that Allen was alright as they made their way down the hall. He was glad lucas was in front of him to open the door, because he wasn't sure he would have had the strength to open the door himself.

"Oh…. That's worse than i thought it would be."

"What do you mean-" Desmond pushed past Lucas to get a look at Allen. "Oh dear…."

Allen had been hooked up to several machines, various wires and tubes laid against his skin. The soft beeping of the heart moniter was a comforting sound to hear, to know that he was still alive. It wasnt often, but his chest did raise and lower, proving he was still breathing on his own. Bandages covered his skin, raw skin and large scaring visible through small gaps.

"Oh…" Desmond wasn't sure what else to say. He sat down in one of the chairs near the bed, just watching him breathe.

"Yikes…"

"I didn't think it would be this bad…" He reached out and gently set his hand on Allen's. "I'm sorry Allen… I believe you now, im sorry it took so long." Just as he finished talking, the beeping started to speed up, becoming more frequent and much louder. He pulled his hand away and stood up, worried. "What the-"

"I think you did something-"

"But how??" It didnt make any sense to him. The door opened, both of them looking over as a few doctors and nurses rushed in. One of them ushered them out.

"shoo shoo, you need to leave."

"But wait- whats gonna happen to Allen???" They left the room, but Desmond wasn't comfortable with just leaving.

"We don't know. We need to find out what changed. Go wait in the lobby if you must stay." Desmond opened his mouth to ask more, but the nurse had already gone back inside and shut the door. He looked at Lucas, who looked just as concerned as he felt.

"...guess we're waiting." He finally spoke up after a moment. Desmond nodded and they started back to the waiting room. There wasn't much they could do right now...just worry.

#in sound mind #in sound mind desmond wales #in sound mind lucas cole #in sound mind allen shore #lucas cole #allen shore #desmond wales #epilouge au #gizm0 writing

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frayazicat · 1 year ago

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ALLEN WALKER IS A CLONE

okay, i KNOW this sounds SO FUCKING CRAZY, but hear me out.

alright, are you listening? good. i think Allen Walker is a clone for several reasons; a) his Innocence, b) Neah and the Noah memories, and c) the Second and Third Exorcists.

Reason A:

so the one theory i've seen circulating in the DGM community is that this mysterious man that the fandom has apparently dubbed "Past Allen" was deaged into the Allen we know and love. who did this? we don't know. it could have been Crowned Clown, a random wizard, or Apocryphos.

BUT! it doesn't make sense. (then again, DGM hasn't been making much sense lately, so..)

we've seen how some of the Parasite Type Exorcists get their Innocence; Krory got bit by a man-eating flower that passed it to him and Timothy had his stuffed down his throat to hide the evidence. (which is actually kinda fucked up? how exactly did his dad think he was gonna get that out? even if his Innocence would have survived that, he didn't know that! what was his plan? cut his own son up or wait for it to be shat out? i..don't think it would have, considering..)

Allen originally tells us that he was apparently born with it, though he doesn't have anyone able/willing to back that up. HOWEVER! we see (i think it was in that recent mega flashback, when Allen was telling Kanda his past) that the ringleader of his former circus did actually receive him from people he thought were his bio parents. that suggests that they looked enough like him that the ringleader didn't think twice about it!

(...anyone else thinking of Past Allen? or maybe a sibling that was in on the whole scheme?)

why i bring this up is that this ALSO suggests that Allen really WAS born with Crowned Clown. the synchronization didn't happen at a later date, and i'm pretty sure Allen was a newborn. like, MAYBE a month old. the process probably would have killed him had it happened then. why i think it didn't when he was supposedly still in the womb? his body was still developing, so it probably wouldn't have known that THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

i mean, i'm not a biology nerd, but i'm pretty sure developing baby bodies don't really know what's right or wrong in the shape of the baby. like, they have instructions, but sometimes those manuals are wrong in some way and things like deformities or Down Syndrome happen. this is normal. Allen's still developing baby body probably thought this random Innocence shard was apart of it or something..

anyways, i don't know how it happened, but i do believe Allen is not Past Allen because of this. he was most likely born with it instead of deaging and picking it up somewhere along the way.

(Crowned Clown could have either snuck it's way inside Allen's container, or Past Allen purposefully put it in there. or maybe there's a secret third option i'm not thinking about.)

moving on!

Reason B:

@wearethehallowe brought up a very good point the other day; Neah's Noah memories did not exist prior to his separation of Mana.

we know that ever since the Great Flood, every human who has ever lived had dormant Noah memories in their DNA waiting to activate. this means that Past Allen should have had one of the original 13 Noah memories - not Neah's. they didn't exist by the time Past Allen was born.

so...how, exactly, did Neah pass his memories onto Past Allen?

he got Cross to help.

Cross is a necromancer. i don't know if he can manipulate souls like the Earl can, but he can definitely do things. (Grave of Maria and the reprogrammed Akuma.) he would totally be able to help pass Neah's memories onto Past Allen.

now, you might be thinking, "How does this tie into Clone!Allen?"

Neah's memories didn't exist beforehand, he had to manually put them into another person. that means Allen wouldn't have the memories in him if he was a normal human.

now, there IS a chance he actually is a normal human, and he just got the memories because Past Allen is his bio dad....

but..that doesn't really explain why he looks so similar to him. normally, a human child would look like a mixture of their parents, NOT an exact replica. yes, Allen currently does not look like him due to his hair and scar and arm, but had he not been cursed he would have looked like a twin of Past Allen's or something. i don't think that's normal in biology.

onto the next point!

Reason C:

ah, the Second and Third Exorcist projects.. you guys were NOT okay whatsoever, but you did prove something!

and that something is that artificial humans can be created and that at least ONE group knows how to make them!

now, it's pretty obvious that Allen isn't the same as Kanda or the Third Exorcists. Kanda has a weird orb in his body that keeps it together and regenerates/heals his injuries. the Third Exorcists can heal from their injuries, but can't regrow lost limbs like Kanda. Allen has not been shown to have that same ability that those with artificial bodies have - if you don't count his regenerating cursed eye and his slightly faster than average healing (i remember this being mentioned though i could be wrong).

HOWEVER! that does not mean he isn't artificial! it just means that, if he is a clone, whoever made him knew how to create artificial bodies right.

i think Cross was 100% in the dark about the cloning. jury is still out on Neah. his reaction to Allen's face that one time when he slammed Johnny's head into the wall could have been because he wasn't expecting the cloning to work or he truly didn't know about it. (or, the Deaging Theory.) either way, it definitely happened after his death.

Cross didn't recognize Red in Allen's retelling to Kanda and was pretty damn surprised when Timcanpy prevented him from killing Red. so, whoever did the cloning either didn't do it with magic or they learned enough magic/science to pull this off.

that just leaves one person who could have done this. Past Allen.

now, i remember seeing another theory about Past Allen being Bookman's previous apprentice before Lavi, so he could have learned something from him when he was a Bookman member. OR he learned the magic from Cross. either way, he was the one who did it.

why did he do it? i think it was supposed to be a back-up plan. Neah's back-up plan was passing his memories onto Past Allen in case he died. with the knowledge of how rare and important these memories are, Past Allen would be just as paranoid and would have a plan c in case anything happens to HIM before Neah could awaken. (he is literally one in a million! he needs to keep those memories safe at all costs!)

so Past Allen learned how to clone himself after Neah's death AND without Cross' knowledge, passed the torch onto Allen (possibly because he knew his time was coming and Neah was still not making any signs of life), sold him to the circus and dropped off the face of the earth. i believe he died shortly after Allen was handed off to the circus but i don't have an exact date. probably within the first few years of Allen's life.

i don't know how he died or if the Noahs were involved at all, but i HIGHLY doubt Mana knew about him/his death. it was most likely an accident/normal death or one of the newly awakened Noahs. i also believe the reason why he chose a CIRCUS to take care of him instead of an orphanage or something similar is because it was a traveling circus. less likely to be found by the Earl if he's constantly moving, you know?

anyways.

that..still leaves about 20 years between Neah's/most of the Noah Clan's deaths and Allen's "birth". i don't know what he was doing during this time, but he started making clones at some point. there might be multiple clones and Allen was just the lucky one. or, the only one to survive.

but there you have it! all the reasons i believe Allen Walker might be a clone!

(..i have a Mana theory if anyone's interested in hearing it..)

#allen walker is a clone #d.gray man #neah campbell #wait #is it neah walker or neah campbell now?#either one works #cross marian #past allen #i may be completely wrong so don't quote me on this #this might just be apocryphos being apocryphos

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spiked-mall-goth · 1 year ago

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can we hear your barbie thoughts?

okay heres just the copy paste from my letterboxd. (whew wee is it LONG)

i was so excited. that one is on me.

movie so so confusing. i thought i was in for like an absurdist comedy, but it was like forced feminist political commentary?? do NOT get me wrong on this one okay, i have seen so many people get torn to SHREDS for saying that they didn't like this movie bc they hate #girlpower. i am not one of those people. but idk abt u guys but i feel like its not that hard a concept to have a good female empowerment movie without just telling us straight in our faces that its female empowerment ALL. THE. TIME.. felt like i was being spoon fed with a forklift. theres this really cool special tactic called… subtlety.. wow its a crazy thing. they spent so much time shoving a message down my throat they.. forgot what it was.??? like they lost track of what they wanted to say like a million times over it was annoying. they said so much to mean so little. messaging so muddled the barbies literally interfered with a fucking government election and got away with it. they didn't want the kens to have any power so they took them away from the pink house and voted without them to put themselves back as the only leaders. the fuck barbie. i feel like the solution in barbieland was not to just fucking reinstall the matriarchy but instead work together as one to create an idyllic society where the barbies and the kens can live side by side without one towering over the other. the kens were not being horridly mistreated b4, but i understand wanting to be treated better. and i could have some mild sympathy for them, but as soon as they took over barbieland they just treated women like shit making them doing everything for them. and yes that is no good, but its interesting to me that the barbies did not take this as a lesson at all?? like they did not look back and really go, 'huh,, maybe you should ALSO have rights bc being seen and treated as inferior is not okay.' no they took it as an opportunity to shove more fucking glitter coated instagram infographic #positivity down my throat. i understand that this was kinda the point, to be like look! this is what its like and the 'just be yourself' solution means nothing in the end! just like the real world! but why would i want that? why would i want a backwards version of a fucking corrupt system that doesn't work? it doesn't work this way; flipping it, well guess what it still doesn't work. this is fucking barbieland, i WANT them to all be happy and equal in the end! i don't want to think about how awful everything is! its a fantasy world, why would you want to model it after the horrible deep sucking never ending vacuum into the black hole that is the real world? its my barbies and kens (and allen) and damnit i think that they should be happy. also side note, how tf did the kens brainwash the barbies??? like the fuck was that? to me that implies that the barbies also had the kens brain washed to be only accessories. like whoevers in power just has control over the other group? this movie makes everyone like a fucking monster.

can u believe i have more to say? turn back now bc i will never stop typing.

ummm kinda hated that random ass woman and her child? and i hate even more that i can refer to them as that. they were horridly bland fucking ONE dimensional characters. no personality, no real development, nothing. just a forced under-devloped mother daughter sub-plot that if my mother had seen would've cried and made me feel like it was my fault for growing up. (normal mom behavior or just me….??)

mattel, you fucking sleazy greased up wet RAT. you canOT,,, okay listen to me… CAN. NOT. make a movie like 'corporations bad! they dont hire women! rampant consumerism bad!!'. baby girl look in the mirror, its not funny, its not being 'self-aware', it makes me feel,, bad. like you can get away with anything bc you actually can. making literal cartoon goons of yourself as some sort of distraction from all of the very real major issues that are happening in the real world corporate mattel company is rancid. you can to be as 'self-aware' as you want but the bottom line is that you just flat out dont care. you won't change anything. trying to be funny about it makes me feel sick. you can't make capitalist consumerism the movie and try to be like 'yeah thats so bad right guys? you guys also hate corporations?! great!'. you cant have your cake and eat it too.

i liked allen. allen sweetheart baby girl darling dear honeybun beloved i'm so sorry the filmmakers hate you. dude literally had like 6 lines. justice for allen.

out of all the 'shameful' barbies i was actually most excited to see the inclusion of video cam barbie!!! i wanted that bitch soooo bad.

laughed a handful of times, as fucking painful as the depression barbie ad was i laughed really loud at the bbc pride and prejudice joke. i thought the godfather joke was also very funny. some of the doll jokes were funny, but its like okay guys this was low hanging fruit to begin with lets not repeat them like ten times over. the n-sync allen joke also got me. i know i laughed a bit in the theater… but as of right now i'm drawing a blank on standout jokes. that says smth huh?

i like the big ken dance number when they went to like abstract reality zone. that was good. now just remake this movie but like that. it needed to be more loose and fun, alter reality for a dance number! do that!! i want some goddamn old hollywood type of just nonsense sequences. the song was not good tho tbh.

costumes and set were… objectively very good! do NOT get me wrong. the team behind it is very talented and they did an awesome job! however. they went for more of a 'generic barbie' look for the barbies costumes and for barbieland. which to me ended up looking more haunting..? idk WHY but the lack of actual dolls just chilling around made the few real dolls stand out like sore thumbs. that and also it felt like edward scissorhands type of suburbia. complete pastel hellscape. the thought of living in a 'perfect' pink pastel world where everything is the same everyday forever and if ur slightly different you literally get banished forever is horrifying. wheres all the girl power huh?? what happened to women helping women??? nope, you look kind odd?? sorry we hate you forever.

the ending was also just a hot hot garbage fire. whhyyyy did barbie decide she no longer wanted to be a barbie……? i feel like i missed that part since we were so focused on ken. oh so its bc she saw just a fuckinh home video slideshow?? yeah okay whatever just roll credits so i can leave now pls. a gynecology joke. really?

feminist movies do need to be made. but why with barbie? she has never been a feminist icon. this isn't her domain. she's just barbie. and trying to attach real life feminist issues to a fucking plastic doll to be bought and sold, to be commodified doesn't sit right with me. shes not meant to be this complex guys, and i feel like they just completely fumbled on that. to me barbie is just there. you play dress up with her, take her on fun adventures, play with your friends, you don't pick up a barbie doll and go 'wow i would just love to have this woman be groped and then come to terms with the real world and its many problems'. thats stupid. i was in for a fun little roadtrip adventure movie with barbie and her friends. and this was just too much.

this movie was not fun and whimsical to me. it was drab, it was horrifying, it was depressing. i wanted to have a brief escape from reality, but instead i was faced with the same atrocities of everyday life but hot pink and glitter coated. which only added to the awful feeling of 'it will be this way forever.' it wasn't a silly movie about being a woman and what that means, it was a faux women power movie made by massive corporations trying to tell us that they are hip and relatable and that you should buy so much merchandise. it was just one big reminder that capitalism will live forever and it will only get worse because everyone just eats it up if its brightly colored.

#spikes inbox #i am a very opinionated person if you cant tell.

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