#what do you mean crooked came out in 2013

[sangaverage]

Lexsang, we have got to stop being so similar lol,

but in all seriousness, Full moons do exactly the same to me, ESPECIALY if I happen to be out in them at the time, its bearable and I don't do anything I shouldn't but it does bring out the instincts a bit.

this is actually what triggered my full awakening, I had realisations beforehand but never really came into it until this moment confirmed it all for me.

I've never really explained it in detail lol its hard to describe but I have notes of it somewhere...

Found them, For those Interested My Vampiric Awakening story (Somewhat) under the Divider (divider credit: Anitalenia)

In somewhat long story format because I'm better at describing that way, by we/ us/ him or they I mean me and my S/O

The night of October 19th 2013, Everything changed, EVERYTHING!

I remember it being sunset when we decided to take our first date, A walk to a trail that leads to a woodland, Funny first date I know... The night set in surprisingly quick that evening, I remember us gazing up At the full moon signaling the night, the darkness, my time, Probably a good time as any to start heading back home though...

Too late, it stirs, A feeling, One I haven't felt this strongly before, but oddly familiar, Wait a seccond I know this feeling!

Damn it, I've got to think of a distraction!

I resorted to, Chewing my gloves... Which somehow, in some sort of miracle, he didn't find weird, if anything it was more amusing to him!

Later that evening he decided to stay with me for a little while, and that's when I decided to tell him outright,

"So... You know those vampire questions, mostly the one where I asked if you think anything like that exists and you said maybe."

"Yes?"

"I may have asked those for a reason."

"Go on."

"So... I've been meaning to tell you, I'm A vampire, specifically, A sanguinarian."

Oh no, does he think I'm weird now?

Surprisingly, as by another miracle, He just accepts it, like no real further questions just Yep, okay, my girlfriend says she's a vampire, so what?

Untill one weekend came up where he decided to sleep over at mine and share beds for the first time. (funnily enough another full moon)

Upon groggily waking up the next morning, (mornings are not my time at all) I ask him how he slept, I was not expecting his response!

"Pretty well, untill someone bit me!"

"Wait what?" My head crooked in A confused tilt,

"Yeah you bit me!, you sat up, looked around and flumped back down for a bit, your eyes were open so I thought you was awake, but you didnt answer me, You did it again a few minutes after but this time, you sat up and went to Bite me in the shoulder, I tried to roll you off but you just bit my hand instead!"

"What? No warning noises, nothing?"

"Nope, just straight up bit me!"

"Sorry, Did I draw blood?" I ask, examining his hands for marks,

"A little bit!"

"Maybe this is some kind of vampiric bonding thing!" I chimed in as a joke,

"Didn't feel bonding to me, it Bleeding hurt!, please don't do it again, okay?"

"Again, Sorry..."

The Moon and Stuff

So a little bit ago, I read a fairly long post from an old friend in the OVC about how she had noticed that the lunar phases seem to affect her vampirism, the full moon generally being the most intense time for her hunger. Everything she had said definitely fit my experience too, though I'm not sure if I would attribute it to my psychology or something else. Does anyone else deal with this as well? If so I'd love to know some peoples' experiences and thoughts on it :)

[etherealjjong]

Top 18 Kpop Songs of 2018

Thanks for tagging me @salty-dorito~ 💖

Rules: List your top 18 K-Pop songs released in 2018 and then tag 18 people

환상통 Only One You Need by Jonghyun

I Will Fight by Key

Shine On You by ONEW

I’m Fine by BTS

네가 남겨둔 말 Our Page by SHINee

BBIBBI by IU

Insomnia by The Rose

NOT! by Stray Kids

Chain by NCT 127

Voices by Stray Kids

Cookies by Lee Honggi/Jung Ilhoon

Imagine by Key

Scientist by VIXX

White Noise by Amber

Love Scenario by iKon

와플 #Hashtag by Jonghyun

Burning by NOIR

Wolf Baby by TRCNG

I mean, I don’t have any particular order because I can’t really choose that. I also realised how bad my sense of time is

Anyways, I tag @astarlightmonbebe, @time-traveling-jellyfish, @shaylydauron-noir, @molekularna-komplikacija, @mika-bunny, @itstaemtime, @ballerida, @jaehyunsies, @pandacatxd, @matoki-princess, @siracha-morelike-3racha, @ana-who, @whollohw, @stayplnk, @shi-fen, @softyn, @juliette-jgu, and @leovixxtouchandsketch

[watermelonsugacry]

I’m so curious to how ur going to do loml since the lyrics are in past tense👀👀👀😥

Building Harry's House: Love Of My Life

A/N: i'm sorry this one came out late but ficmas day 3 is here! tysm for your patience lovies! i love you all so much!

SUMMARY: With the world knowing of their once secret relationship, Harry and YN navigate life together as an official couple and everything that comes with it. (3.5k)

GENRE: 1dbandmember!yn

SINCE 2010 MASTERLIST // Building Harry's House masterlist // previous song here! 🇬🇧

—2013—

“And over there—right up against that weird lookin’ tree—is where I had my first kiss,” Harry points to the path of trees near a stream of water. 

It was the first time in months since the band has had a break long enough to go see their families. It’s been nonstop with writing and recording a new album, interviews left and right and performing in a different city every night. 

So with the extra time they’ve spent with their families, Anne was insistent on inviting Penny and YN over for so much needed family time. 

While the mums and other family members sat around the kitchen table and chatted the morning away (and told embarrassing stories about their children), Harry leaned over to his bandmate’s ear and whispered, “Wanna take a walk?”

He tried not to get too excited when she quickly accepted his offer with a small nod of her head with a breathtaking smile.

“Bet it was pretty steamy, huh?” YN teases as she playfully bumps her shoulder with his.

“Definitely above the PG-13 rating, m’sure,” Harry tucks his chin into his chest as he smiles at the sound of her giggle. “Yeh know, sometimes when I walk around here by myself, I feel like I’m six again.” 

With that, YN breaks into another fit of giggles when Harry suddenly and dramatically lays down in the middle of the field, limbs spread out beside him like he’s making a snow angel without the snow. 

YN plops down to lay beside her band mate and she closes her eyes with a sigh. It's been such a long time since they've all had a break from their hectic schedules that it felt amazing to simply pause.

“Harry? Can I ask yeh something?" She keeps her gaze above to the overcast sky, her favorite type of weather, and when she hears him hum in response she continues, "Have yeh ever been in love?”

She's not all that sure as to why she suddenly asks her question. It's just one of those times when she feels comfortable enough to ask her best friend anything. She's lost count of the number of times they've stayed up till the early hours of the morning talking about anything and everything that comes to mind: how to came to love music, who were their first crushes, what might have they been doing if they weren't in the band (a scary thought that they only entertained for a brief moment).

“Yes. I’ve actually been in love my whole life it seems,” He decides to answer truthfully. When he turns his head to meet her gaze, Harry’s eyes flicker back and forth with hers. “England is my soulmate, I think. I know every crook and cranny of this place. I’m in love with the view, the feel, the smell of it here. When I get older, I’ll probably buy a house here.”

YN smiles and turns her face to the greenery around her, letting out a soft chuckle, “That’s beautiful, Harry.”

Was it silly for her heart to sink a tiny bit when he didn’t say he was in love with her? She surely couldn’t have expected for her nineteen-year-old friend to be in love with anyone at the moment, let alone her out of all people. 

If she only knew that he was stupidly in love with her since he was merely sixteen years old...

“Have you?”

“Have I whot?” She challenges, already knowing what he’s asking yet too scared (and embarrassed) to answer him so quickly.

“Y’know what I mean,” He gently pushes an elbow to her arm. “Have you ever been in love?”

“I don’t think so...” YN pinches her eyebrows together, feeling his eyes burn into the side of her head. “Nevermind, I take that back. I have and I am.”

“Really?” Harry asks in disbelief, trying desperately to hide his disappointed tone. “Do I know the lucky lad who stole your heart?”

“Yup,” When she turns to head to meet his eyes, she gives him a cheeky smile before touching her chin to her shoulder, “S’me.”

She laughs at the playfully disappointed shake of his head, “‘Course it is.”

She only laughs harder, clutching her stomach when he gives a wistful push of her head. Although he must admit, he’s utterly and wholeheartedly relieved at her answer. 

—2020—

“M’not gonna let you pack my house up all by yourself. That’s what professional movers are for, darling.” 

Harry’s voice comes from the bathroom connected to the master bedroom. YN sits with her legs criss crossed on his bed, fidgeting away at the rings scattered along her fingers. 

Harry’s packing some of his stuff as he prepares to head over to LA to start filming his new movie Don’t Worry Darling. He’s going to be staying there for a couple of weeks while she'll stay back a few days to help pack and sell his beloved London house.

Harry and YN both lay on the couch together in her home in LA. She lays on her side, her back towards the back of the couch with Harry resting his head in the crook of her left arm while she holds and reads her book with the other. His arms are wrapped around her middle section with their legs tangled out in the rest of the couch. 

While Harry naps, YN has been gently carding her fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp. She’ll occasionally retrieve her hand away in order to turn the pages of the book.

"Hi, baby," YN gives him a soft smile as she continues to massage his scalp. An action that has him humming back in satisfaction with a sleepy smile of his own.

"Hi," He mumbles still in his sleep-induced state. As he snuggles further into her, he kisses her shoulder before digging his face into the crook of her neck. 

YN suddenly gets deja vu at this, well more like deja vu in reverse when the two were merely nineteen years old and she couldn't seem to take a well-needed nap in an airport private waiting area. When Harry offered her his arm to cuddle into him, she was hesitant as she's never done something like that before, let alone be fond of physical touch in general.

But she was desperate to fall asleep and he eased her into it, letting her come to him and adjust herself close to him as she saw fit. The two teenagers were woken up not even an hour later and found themselves cuddled like a couple. Her face was snuggled deep into the crook of his neck while his arms were fully and securely wrapped around her. 

It was the first of many late night cuddles and the first of her baby steps into becoming more physically affectionate—well at least toward Harry, but growth nonetheless. He's shown her so many things and has exposed her to aspects of life she'd never even thought to dream of. If someone were to tell her 10 years ago that she'd be officially in a relationship with Harry, cuddled up with him on her couch, falling head over heels in love with him, she would have laughed in their face and told them to fuck off before her knees going weak at the thought of their life together.

But out of everything he's been able to guide, teach, and show her things about herself, the one that sticks out the most is to let her feel her emotions. For far too long, she has suppressed her true feelings; whether that be keeping on her media-trained mask during nasty interviews, holding on to the truth about her father for so many years, or her deep love for her band mate. In more ways than she can possibly count, he's made her comfortable enough to say what she wants to say and feel her love even if it makes her uncomfortable at first. Maybe that's why she says what she wants next without giving it a second thought.

“Move in with me.”

YN feels his breathing on the column of her neck come to a pause. She can tell that it takes him a second to process her words in his sleepy state as he lifts himself up a bit to be able to fully look at her, “What?”

“I want you to live here. With me. Officially,” Harry just continues to blink up at his love with his slightly puffy eyes from his nap. “I mean unless you don’t want to, of course. That’s completely alright if yeh don't. I was just thinking,” He raises himself up on his elbow, a smirk forming on his lips. 

Harry leans up over her and presses his lips to hers, silencing his girlfriend of her rambles.

“Yes,” He says against her lips. "I wanna be your official roomie," Harry smiles at the giggle that bubbles past her soft lips. He wonders if he's still asleep or living in a daydream of some sort, “I love you, YN.”

“I love you more, Harry.”

“I adore you.”

“Don’t make me take back me offer.”

“I just want to help pack the small stuff then. Don’t like the idea of people snooping around your things.” 

Harry’s head peaks out of the doorframe and he gives her a pointed look, “Really?”

“Whot?” 

“Whot?” Harry teases back. “What’s the real reason you want to do it y’self?”

“It’s just," YN mindlessly draws random shapes on the comforter with her finger, "That house has a lot of memories in it. Memories that we made together. Whether when we were ‘together’ or not. I at least want to help in saying goodbye to it s'all.”

“Aw, baby. Why are you getting all sentimental about a house? M’right here.”

“Don’t patronize me,” She laughs, swatting his hands away from her face. “You don’t feel sad about leaving a place you lived in for so many years?”

Harry gives his love a gentle smile at her words. He pads his way over to her and makes himself comfortable next to her on the bed.

“Well, before I didn’t. Remember how I told you that I didn’t even really live in it until you, honestly. And, yeah I am kind of sad to leave it because we’ve made a lot of memories in her but,” The dimples begin to dig into his cheeks in a smile, “I think my excitement and happiness outweigh the memories we’re gonna make over there. We’re officially going to be living together. No more sleepovers. No more having to live without something we forgot back at our own homes. And all those memories are gonna live and stay in m’heart, not in these four walls. And I don’t see us leaving London indefinitely. We still got our seasonal home here that we can go back to whenever you want.”

“S’just, I remember yeh saying how England was your soulmate. The love of yeh life and all tha’, you know?”

Harry tilts his head to meet his shoulder in a shrug, “S’just coordinates to me now.”

As scary as it might seem, it surprises the two of them at how truthful his words are. England has always been a safe space for Harry but as the years go by, he finds himself finding that same comfort—and then some—somewhere else; or someone else, more like. There’s no denying the fact that earlier that year at Jonny's place on New Years day shoved the couple into the public eye with the brightest spotlight either one has ever experienced before. With traveling for his job, Harry doesn’t know his land’s creases and ends as much as he used to; it's all a part of growing up, he guesses.

“[The album is] named after the Japanese pop pioneer [Haruomi] Hosono, who had an album in the ‘70s called Hosono House. I immediately started thinking about what Harry’s House might look like. It took time for me to realize that the house wasn’t a geographical location, it was an internal thing,” Harry smiles to himself at the thought of YN being his home. As cheesy as that sounds, it just feels wrong to picture another place in this world where he feels the most safe, the most secure, and the most loved. 

“When I applied that concept to the songs we were making here, everything took on new meaning. Imagine it’s a day in my house or a day in my mind. What do I go through? I’m playing fun music. I’m playing sad music. I’m playing this, I’m playing that. I have doubts. I’m feeling stuff. And it’s all mine. This is my favourite album at the moment. I love it so much.”

...

“Oi, what’s all this?” His love’s words make him turn around with a smile, his dimples digging into his cheeks at her attire. YN is currently rotating back into her dress phase and she’s wearing a long blue sundress with a slit up the side to deliciously show off her toned thighs—a dress that’s been one of her favorites (and his) as of late.

“M’taking you out somewhere.”

“Where? We can’t really go anywhere since everything is closed,” YN wittily points out since they’re in the middle of a global pandemic and travel is very limited.

“Does a date have to be at a restaurant?” He playfully challenges her with a rise of his eyebrows as she approaches him, swerving past all the cardboard boxes scattered on the ground and eyeing the picnic basket on the counter in front of her boyfriend.

“Oh so it’s a date?” Her eyebrows pinch together with a playful shake of her head when he gives her a hum of agreement. “And what’s the occasion? An anniversary m’not aware of? That’s make me a bad girlfriend if it was.”

“Does there need—woman, just let me take you out on a date. Don’t make this overly complicated.”

“I’m a woman. It’s practically in me nature to make things ten times more complicated than they need to be. Or the other way around. Depends on the situation—”

“For fucks sake, baby just go get yeh shoes!” Harry huffs out a laugh, grabbing onto her shoulder and turning her around himself, giving her a pat on her bum to aid her along the pink carpeted stairs. 

When he leads a confused YN past his yellow Ferrari, he basks in the way she lets out a surprised laugh at the two bikes he set up for them in the driveway. She lets him lead her down the concrete trails that lead to grassy ones near his home. She takes in the moment of riding her bike through the secluded area and briefly closes her eyes to feel the rare, warm London breeze on her face. After a couple of minutes of peddling through the greenery, they finally come to a stop. She looks around at what looks like a small garden. Trees keep the area closed off from the initial public eye as well as bushes upon bushes of roses. 

Harry doesn’t dismiss the way she lets out a breathy laugh once she’s gently placed her bike on the ground, reaching up to fluff her hair and look over her shoulder to her love, “I haven’t done that since I was a teenager.”

While he begins to set up a blanket and the food he brought, he fondly watches her walk around the bunches of flowers, plucking a few and bringing them to her nose. 

After sitting down to eat the small array of food and sipping on the bottle of red wine, the couple takes the time to enjoy their environment. The pandemic has caused the two to come down from their busy schedules the past ten years their careers have to offer them and do practically nothing. The time off has caused them to self-reflect more than they ever have before, making them look at their lives through a new lens of gratitude.

It makes them grateful for things they took for granted: the flexibility their careers have allowed them to have during this time, investing time in other relationships with their friends and family, and physically being with one another during this scary time in the world.

“It’s a bit exciting to be filming for that type of era,” YN gently swivels her wine glass as the red liquid inside swirls around the bottom. “I think the 50s are gonna suit you, babe. From what we rehearsed together, you’re gonna fookin’ nail it, m’sure.”

Harry mindlessly picks and twists at the grass there by his hands, “You think so?”

“Oh I know so,” She takes a sip from her glass after giving him a reassuring nod. “And you’re gonna have so much fun with it, too. Especially when yeh get on the set for the first time—like for Little Women—I was instantly transported into the 1860s. I was worried I would act too modern just because of how I normally act in me day to day, but the set pieces were just so cool and...”

As YN goes on talking about her experience in the acting world, Harry can’t keep his eyes off of her. Her natural beauty is incomparable to any of the women his past management team set him up with. Her hair was down and in its natural state where it seems like she’s pushing a curly lock of hair behind her ear every other minute. The tattoos scattered around the expansion of her arms complement her so well and they look exceptionally beautiful under the cloudy London sky. And her smile...he could talk about all the ways her smile manages to take his breath away every single time.

If he could stay here forever, he surely would without a second thought. 

"YN YLN?" The use of her full name captures her attention and she’s instantly drawn into his green gaze. He looks down and smiles to himself before continuing, “Knowing you for as long as I have, I’ve learned my lesson about how to approach things with you. I know you and I think you more than anyone how much I tend to jump in feet first and land in a bit too hard. I know we’ve wasted five years hiding our feelings, almost three years jumping back and forth between friends and something more, and not even a year into an official relationship with each other, but baby, I knew I wanted to marry you for about 10 years now. You’ve flipped my world upside down.”

YN’s breathing stops completely at the mention of marriage. Over the years, the two have playfully thrown around the idea of marriage, mentioning how they want to spend the rest of their lives together, but have never had a sit down conversation about it before. 

“Now, I don’t expect you to give me an answer right now. All I’m asking is for you to think about it, okay?”

“Think about what exactly?”

Harry hums out a soft smile. He gently takes her left hand in his and slides a makeshift ring on her finger made of grass blades and a small flower bud. 

“If y’wanna be my wife.”

As excited as she is for the potential of being his wife, his partner until the end of her days, it terrifies her to no end. If this were a perfect, fairy tale story, YN wouldn’t hesitate to say yes. She wouldn’t think twice about her answer and should be flailing herself into his arms, bringing herself to tears. 

But that’s not realistic for her. Harry’s right, he does know her. He knew that if he officially popped the question to her, if he brought out the ring he’s had for her since he was twenty-one years old and slipped it onto her finger, she would have had an anxiety attack. He knew that her mind would be racing a mile a minute and would not let her rest until she thought of everything her intrusive mind would allow before giving her peace. 

She loves him and wants to spend forever with him, so why can’t she say it?

Meanwhile, Harry almost wants to laugh. Not at her lack of response of her worrisome state of mind, but of how right he is. He silently watches as the gears in her mind pump oil—she’s physically here, but she’s mentally somewhere else. 

Knowing her like the back of his hand, he doesn’t interrupt her thought process but instead lifts her hand to press a gentle kiss to her knuckle, her shoulder and her cheek before getting comfortable on his back. 

I’ve always wanted to write a song about like home and loving England and all that kind of stuff. And it’s always kinda hard to do without being like ‘went to the chippy and I did this thing’”

“‘Love of My Life’ was the most terrifying song because it’s so bare. It’s so sparse. It’s also very much in the spirit of what Harry’s House is about: I wanted to make an acoustic EP, all in my house, and make it really intimate. And because of the circumstances, it was made very intimately; everything was played by a small number of people and made in a room. For this song in particular, YN and I made it in between my home in London and in her's in LA," Harry holds himself back from mentioning that it's not his home in LA as well but decides to leave that bit of information out for obvious reasons. "We produced it together and it's always that much more meaningful when it's her being the one that's playing on the record. To me, it’s everything. It’s everything I’ve wanted to make.” 

taglist:

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[gothicwidowsworld]

Crash and burn L.H

The past few years had been  a blur, Life didn’t have a pause button. Life didn’t care if you were prepared or not. Blink and you’d miss it.  Being surrounded by memories printed on glossy paper only made the passage of time more obvious. From the questionable fashion choices to nights out with friends Y/N would bashfully admit she barely remembered, her and Lewis’ whole lives were on these small rectangles. Fleeting moments captured and frozen in time. 

“What are you doing Princess?” The Mercedes Driver asked tiredly, the tan man quiet as he sluggishly made his way to their shared bed. The young woman in question had sloped off during his workout, the overwhelming feeling of being a distraction panicking her.  Lewis had his routines when it came to Race Season prep but recently his preseason procedure had intensified. Lewis was going to come back fighting in 2022 and Y/N didn’t want to get in his way. Humming in greeting the y/h/c woman smiled softly placing the picture in her hands aside. “I thought I’d go through our photo’s… I saw this lady on tiktok make a really beautiful photo album and I thought why not, we have more than enough pictures.” Y/N explained gesturing to the now empty shoe box and the snapshots surrounding her. “Jeez what was I thinking?” the Brit groaned before chuckling to himself, spotting and picking up a photograph from 2013. Lewis was far more confident when it came to expressing himself compared to previous years. But the Late noughties and mid 2010’s haunted him at times. “What do you mean? You looked handsome?” Y/N asked, her head tilted slightly in confusion. “You can’t even see what I’m looking at Baby.” Lewis scoffed playfully, holding the photograph a little more out of the girl's eye line. Shuffling forward to see the picture Y/N laughed. “Oh… yeah maybe not your best look.” The y/e/c eyed young woman admitted carefully. 

Putting the image aside Lewis tried to look at the open book, it was still a work in progress Y/N had carefully planned the pages out. Her neat scrawl roughly dating each picture, some had a small quote or explanation attached. “I got very lucky with you didn’t I?” The tan driver mumbled resting his head on the y/s/c woman’s shoulder. Lewis had always been appreciative of Y/N L/N’s presence in his life. Over the years people had come and gone but she was always there, through the ups and downs. “What do you mean?” Y/N whispered, reaching a hand up to stroke the man’s styled hair, her movements were small and slow but soothing nonetheless. In fact her actions made the F1 Driver relax, his eyebrows unfurrowing. “Just that. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Lewis replied quietly, sighing in satisfaction.  “Probably crash and burn.” Y/N teased waiting for Lewis to playfully disagree but instead a warm silence fell over the pair. “Don’t think I could even get in the car without you let alone crash and burn.” the man admitted, placing a soft kiss on the crook of Y/N’s neck. 

“Trying to butter me up Hamilton?” the y/h/c woman whispered, moving carefully to continue her project. “Nah just stating the obvious.” The 7 time World Champion said firmly already missing the female's familiar body. “Huh well thanks for that now are you going to help or?” Y/N asked, raising an eyebrow at the man sitting on the other side of the bed. “Sure but if I look awful in a picture we’re burning it.” Lewis joked, laughing at the young woman’s widening eyes. “Don’t ruin my photo album Hamilton.” Y/N exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger towards the older man. Rolling his warm chocolate eyes, Lewis began sorting through the photo’s closest to him. Picking one up the Driver turned to ask the girl what order they were putting the memories in, only for his small pile to be interrupted by a bull dog called Roscoe. The usually docile dog clearly not happy at the lack of attention he was receiving from his preoccupied parents.

[castiel-barnes]

Domesticity.

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem! Y/N Peña. (Reader is married to Javier).

Summary: After the events of Escobar and the Cali cartel, the one thing Javier expected least was to settle down.

Warnings: Fluff. Slight angst. Pregnancy. Medical inaccuracies. Mentions of throwing up. Swearing. Soft Javi. Like extra soft.

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: Yet another early morning thought that I got.

Tags: @phoenixhalliwell @scribbledghost

Picture from Pedro pascals Instagram at pascalispunk.Taken in 2013.

After years of running around Colombia and the amount of informants slept with. The last thing people expected who knew Javier Peña, was to settle down.

He had found you and fell hard in love. And the same thing happened to you. After being with you, Javier had no need to go have a one night stand with any of the girls from the brothels or any informants. Because he had you.

It was quite unheard of within the DEA, Javier Peña and the domesticity of having a family.

*********************

Javier had been out for most of the day, which you were kinda glad for. You had been feeling sick since you woke up and when Javi finally left the apartment, you finally rushed to the bathroom to throw up your breakfast.

Then it hit you. Your time of the month has been far more late than normal. After throwing up, you digged out the spare pregnancy test you had at the back of the cupboard for emergencies.

"Oh fuck." You said quietly to yourself. It was positive. Neither of you had discussed the topic of kids. It was something that you wanted, but not sure if Javi wanted it.

"Hi cariño, I'm home." Javier called out,

"H-hey, I'll be out in a moment." You replied from the bathroom, quickly wiping your tears away. Walking out the bathroom, you smiled like you usually did and kissed.

"What's up honey?" He asked frowning a little,

"Oh nothing much, why'd you ask?" You replied.

"Cause I can tell you've been crying." Javier said looking at you. Sighing you placed your head against his shoulder.

"I hate how easily you read me sometimes." You pouted, and pulled him to the couch and sat him down. Letting out a shaky breath you held his hands gently in yours.

"I really need to tell you something. B-but I don't know how to say it, and I- I know we haven't discussed anything about this." You continued starting to ramble from being anxious.

"Honey, honey calm down what do you need to tell me?" He said frowning even more, stroking your hair back.

"Javi... I'm pregnant." You stated. There was a stunned silence that blanketed the apartment.

"Really?" Javier asked. You nodded and looked away tears springing back to your eyes. Javi wiped your tears away and smiled pulling you into a hug.

"I'm so happy mi amor." Javier stated,

"You are?" You asked looking up at him.

"I am cariño, we can have a little Peña running around the place." Javier responded smiling. The two of you hugged for a while and had dinner, then decided to lay in bed and relax. At some point you must have fallen asleep on top of Javi, and stayed asleep until early morning.

Your not sure what woke you up, but you could feel Javier's hand on your stomach his hand stroking his hand back and forth.

"Cariño? You ok?" You asked quietly,

"What if the kid doesn't like me? What if I do something wrong?" Javier replied.

"What do you mean?" You said frowning,

"I mean, I'm not a good person cariño. I've done things and seen things that shouldn't be seen. I've never been the best with children, I don't know how to look after something so small and innocent." Javi stated.

"Javier Peña you listen to me. You are not a bad man, yes you've seen bad shit and maybe shot a couple of people but those people were the bad guys. Not you. You will be a good father Javi, I just know it. Plus you're not the only one who hasn't had much experience with children." You explained firmly. In truth you were the youngest sibling, and the only experience you had with children was when your cousin had her baby. But you lost contact with them a while ago.

"Thank you. For putting up with me Y/N." Javier responded, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. You stroked his hair back out of his face, but it was evident that he had been tossing around for a while.

You started drifting off again until you felt like throwing up again. Gently rolling Javi off of you, you rushed to the bathroom to throw your dinner up. You groaned as you hunched over the toilet, then felt a pair of large hands rubbing your back.

"You ok cariño?" Javier asked worriedly,

"Morning sickness." You responded throwing up again.

"You need me to get anything for you? Water?" He said still rubbing your back gently,

"Please." You said "thank you." You continued. Javier bought you a glass of water, and let you clean yourself up before carrying you back to bed.

"Try get some sleep mi amor, neither of us have work tomorrow dont worry." Javier stated,

"M'kay love you Javi." You said drifting off to sleep.

"Te amo mucho cariño, y nuestro pequeño bebé." Javier whispered kissing the top of your head.

********************

2 months pregnant:

You were at home today and Javier was at work. And today you noticed something slightly different about your appearance. Realising what it was, you smiled and you got excited about telling Javi.

Opening the door Javi was immediately greeted by your smile and hugging him.

"Well hi there cariño, what you so happy about?" Javier asked smiling and kissing you,

"Come look." You replied dragging him to the room. When you got to the bedroom you sat him down on the bed and took your top off. Turning to the side you smiled and run your hand over your small bump.

You looked at Javi and saw his jaw drop.

"That’s your little kid in there mi amor." You said looking at your bump. Javi smiled and pulled you gently in front of him.

"Oye chico, soy yo tu papá. Estoy muy emocionado de conocerte dentro de unos meses." Javier stated quietly then kissing your stomach. He looked up at you with slightly watering eyes and smiled,

"We're going to have a kid cariño." He continued.

"Yeah we are. I love you so much Javier Peña." You stated kissing the top of his head,

"I love you too baby. I'm so excited." Javier replied. Out of nowhere you just got really emotional and started crying, which confused the hell out of Javi.

"Woah, woah baby what's wrong?" He said quickly standing up hugging you,

"I-im just so fucking happy. I have you and now we have our little kid. Oh im a mess, fucking hormones." You replied crying into his arms. And that what made it clear for Javi, your hormones were heightend due to the pregnancy. Javi chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

"Don't laugh." You stated quietly sniffing,

"Ok, I'm sorry baby I won't laugh I promise. Im happy to cariño." Javi replied smiling.

"But I like when you laugh its cute." You said looking at him.

You were glad to have Javi, yes he could be a bit stubborn and hard headed sometimes. But around you, he was gentle, understanding and everything you could wish for in a man. Although he had doubts about being a good father, you knew that no matter if you had a little girl or a little boy they would have him wrapped around their little finger.

**********************

4 months pregnant:

"Baby? Wake up, we need to get ready to go to the doctors." Javi said gently, trying to wake you up,

"Mhm..." you groaned and closed your eyes again.

"Come on honey, don't wanna be late to the appointment. I promise when we get home I'll run out and grab anything you're craving and we can nap." Javier stated stroking your hair back out of your face.

"Promise?" You asked leaning into his touch,

"Yeah cariño I promise. We'll go to the appointment, come home and then anything you want I'll get ok?" He replied smiling as you leaned into him.

"Ok." You smiled getting up slowly. The two of you got changed and got in the car. Arriving at the doctors, Javier could feel some anxiety radiating off of you.

"You ready baby?" He asked holding your hand,

"Yeah, im ready." You smiled at him and gave the back of his hand a kiss.

"Come on then baby." Javi said getting out the car, walking round to your side to open the door for you. The two of you sat in the waiting room for a while before getting called in. Laying there on the bed, you gasped at how cold the gel was on your stomach. Looking at the screen the doctor told you that you were going to have a little girl.

"We're having a baby girl?" Javier asked is disbelief,

"Yeah cariño, we're gonna have a baby girl to look after and love." You smiled with tears rolling down your cheeks. Getting home you cried from happiness and this was one of the only times you saw Javier cry.

"Baby can you get me pickles and ice cream please? Maybe some chocolate too." You asked him,

"Of course I can cariño. Anything else you want?" Javier replied.

"Maybe get 2 of each just incase, you never know." You said,

"Okie dokie." He responded. Javier left the apartment and came back about 20 minutes later with pickles, ice cream and chocolate.

"Here you go mi amor, got what you wanted." Javier stated coming through the door with a shopping bag,

"Thank you love." You replied smiling and getting some ice cream and pickles. The two of you sat there, with you snacking on your pickles and ice cream and Javier with his arm around you.

"We need to think of some names for our little girl." Javier stated,

"We do." You responded eating another pickle.

"Maria?" Javier started out,

"Hmm that's a bit overused I think, Isabella?" You replied.

"True, true. Isabella is a nice name. Isabella Peña. That's nice. Rosa?" Javier responded. The two of you sat there writing down names and slowly but surely got it down to the name you both liked.

"I think Isabella." You stated,

"Yeah perfect. Isabella Peña, it's beautiful." Javier replied quietly smiling. Javi slid down the bed a little so his head was by your bump, and lifted up your shirt a little bit.

"Hola Isabella, soy papá de nuevo. Solo quiero que sepas que te amo mucho a ti y a tu mamá y que siempre los protegeré a los dos." Javier whispered to the bump and kissed it. About 4 months ago at the start of your pregnancy, Javier had his doubts about being a father and how what he did would affect your daughter. But now here you were 4 months pregnant eating ice cream and pickles, and he was being so gentle with you and looking after you and your baby girl so well.

"You're going to be such a great dad Javi." You smiled running your hand through his hair,

"You think so cariño?" He looked up at you with those doe eyes of his.

"Yeah... I do. You've been looking after me so well baby, and I just know that little Isabella will absolutely adore you." You responded,

"Thank you cariño." Javier said rubbing his hand over the bump.

*********************

9 months pregnant/ due date week:

It was the week that you were due to give birth to Isabella. Javier decided that he'd take the week off before his maternity leave was due to start.

It was about 2 in the morning, when you woke up. And that's when you felt it, your water had just broken.

"O-oh no oh shit why now? Javi wake up, baby please wake up." You said pushing his shoulder,

"Carino what's wrong?" He asked you groggily, his eyes barely open.

"The baby is coming." You stated. And that one statement there got him up and awake.

"You serious right now?" He asked looking at you finding your face quite serious,

"Ohhhhhh shit. Yes I'm fucking serious." You replied having your first contraction. You looked at Javier and one of the only things he saw in your eyes was fear.

"Ok, ok I've got your bag honey. It's going to be ok I promise." Javi stated chucking jeans and a shirt on with shoes, and then helping you with some shoes.

"Javi im scared." You stated,

"I know cariño, I know but im going be right next to you the entire time. I promise." Javi replied holding your hand. Squeezing his hand as you went through another contraction, he held you up as he walked you to the car.

In the car, javi was going as fast as he could to the hospital whilst letting you hold his hand.

"Just breathe baby, you've got it." Javier said reassuring you. Getting to the hospital you were immediately given a room and pain killers to help.

"We're gonna meet our baby girl soon javi." You stated looking at him,

"Yeah cariño, any minute now we'll be holding our girl." Javi responded. You two were somewhat relaxing when you weren't having any contractions. It had been about an hour and half since your water had broke. It all seemed to by in a blur, one minute you were sleeping, the next your water had broke and now you need to push.

"J-javi go get a nurse. I really need to push." You exclaimed squeezing your eyes shut and letting your head fall back,

"Ok cariño ok, I'll be right back." Javier replied kissing the top of your head. Javi rushes out the room and finds a nurse. He came back into the room with a nurse, who were both by your side. The nurse told you to start pushing and so you did.

"Ahh fuck! J-javi I don't know if I.... if I can do it." You stated squeezing his hand as hard as you could,

"Yes you can cariño, come on you can do it. Just breathe with me, you're so strong." Javier replied stroking your hair back.

A few minutes later, and hard pushing you heard the cries of your beautiful little girl. You let your head fall back on the pillow and caught your breath.

"I told you that you could do it cariño. She's so beautiful." Javier said smiling at you and kissing you gently. The nurse bought Isabella over to you, so that you could hold her. Pulling down your gown a little bit you laid Isabella on your chest so you could have some skin to skin contact.

"Hey baby girl, welcome to the world. Oh you're so beautiful, she has your eyes miel. Big brown eyes." You smiled gently stroking your hand over Isabella's back,

"Do you wanna hold her?" You continue looking at Javi.

"Really?" Javier looked at Isabella,

"Yeah baby, she is your daughter after all." You responded giggling a little. Javier looked between you and Isabella then back to you and saw you nod. Standing up from his chair he took the shirt off that he threw on before leaving, and gently took Isabella from you.

People had told you to look out for Javier Peña when you first joined the DEA. The stubborn, hard headed DEA agent who had one hell of a reputation. But now as you saw your husband hold your little girl barely an hour old. All of that stubbornness, hard headedness and reputation had dissipated.

"Hola, cariño, es un placer conocerte finalmente. Eres tan hermosa como tu mamá." Javier speaked to Isabella quietly as he say down in the chair. You smiled and laid your head back again, eyes drooping a little bit.

"You wanna sleep for a little while? You just pushed a fucking human out." Javier asked,

"Language we have tiny human now. Yes I wanna sleep." You replied somewhat out of it, already drifting off to sleep.

"Haha ok baby, you get some sleep now." Javier chuckled.

*********************

Home:

When you were finally discharged from the hospital, you and your husband with your baby finally went back home. You got home and Javi changed the sheets on your bed from where your water broke.

Picking Isabella up, you showed her round the apartment although you knew she was in a milk coma from her feeding.

"Do you wanna put her down for her nap cariño?" You asked Javi,

"Yeah ok." Javier replied with a wide grin as he took Isabella from you. Gently Javier bounced Isabella as he made his way to her cot. Standing next to him as the two of you looked over your daughter. You smiled and placed your head on his shoulder.

"Our baby is so beautiful cariño, we did good." Javier said quietly,

"That we did. See I told you, that you'd make a good father. I have a feeling we might have a hard time saying 'no' to that cutie." You replied kissing his cheek.

"Agreed." Javier said smiling giving you a proper kiss.

Safe to say that the only people who really get to see Agent Javier Peña soft side is you his wife Y/N Peña, and his daughter Isabella Peña.

[taeminyourmind]

A Christmas Wedding (2019) x Taemin (M)

A Christmas Love Story is a set of 8 short love-filled stories  that follows you and Taemin’s relationship through the years during Christmastime. Each story represents a new year with the series beginning in 2013 and ending in 2020.

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Summary: After 6 years together, you and Taemin tie the knot in a small intimate ceremony and enjoy a steamy evening together.

Pairing: Taemin x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k+

A Christmas Love Story Masterlist: Snowmen & Hot Chocolate | Secret Santa | A Sleigh Ride Confession | You, Me & Ice Skates | Mistletoe Kisses | A Christmas Proposal | A Christmas Wedding | Baby’s First Christmas

2019

The sound of light piano music is muffled behind the closed doors in front of you. Your hands tightly grip your bouquet of Baby’s Breath flowers, their floral scent soothes your nerves as you take deep breaths to slow your pounding heart. Your eyes catch a glance of yourself in the mirror; your long-sleeve white lace wedding dress comfortably hugs your body, the intricate lace design resembles flowers; among your white dress, and flowers, the emerald ring on your finger shines brightly as it twinkles in the sunlight that’s seeping through the window behind you. A soft call of your name makes you turn around where you see Jongil, gazing at you with teary eyes and a gentle smile.

“You look gorgeous,” he says, his voice quivering. “You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”

“Aren’t I the only one you’ve seen?”

He lightly chuckles and nods. “Even if I see 100 brides, you’ll always be the most beautiful. Except for my future wife, but that’s a different story. It’s your day,” he reaches out to link his arm with yours. He takes a moment, deeply breathing out before turning to you. “Ready?”

You nod while trying your best to smile, though a swarm of butterflies releases their nervousness in your stomach. “I’m ready.”

With your hand squeezing around Jongil’s arm, he reaches forward and gives a gentle knock on the door. The sight of the door opening disperses the butterflies in your stomach as your eyes lock with Taemin’s. He stands at the altar sporting a fitted black suit with a deep red tie; his jet black hair is parted to the side and softly swept back to reveal his face, a strand of hair frames his face until he pushes it back. His eyes take in your beauty as Jongil leads you down the aisle.

The once muffled sound of the piano now sounds clear; its sweet melody acting as the transition song as you walk towards the next chapter of your life. Jongil’s whispers are inaudible as you block out the world and focus on Taemin. The softness of his relaxed face, the gentleness of his sweet smile, and the warmth of his eyes engulf you in a blanket of love and protection as you reach the altar. Your cheeks grow warm when you’re close enough to read his lips as he mouths ‘beautiful’.

Letting go of Jongil’s arm, you take Taemin’s hand as he guides you beside him. His touch brings tears to your eyes as you realize your future, which once seemed so far away, is now at your side. Gently, he taps your shoulder and gestures to Clara and Jongil, who are holding framed pictures of your late father and his late grandmother. The sight of your father makes you cling tighter onto Taemin as tears roll down your face.

“They’re always here with us in spirit,” he whispers before gently kissing the side of your head. “And I know they wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

The comfort of Taemin’s words brings a smile to your face as you find yourself smiling at the picture of your father. In your heart, you know that he would’ve loved Taemin and would walk you down the aisle if it’s the last thing he did. Until you meet again, you feel at peace knowing he’s watching over you and proudly smiling at his little girl.

While the minister opens the ceremony with beautiful words, your hand tightly grips Taemin’s as you blink back tears. At the gentle stroke of his thumb over the top of your hand, the tears you’ve been holding back gracefully fall down your face. The overwhelming pressure of love in your chest threatens to explode as you and Taemin turn to face one another, both surprised to see the trail of tears down each other’s face.

Taemin gives a nervous chuckle as he reaches into his suit’s pocket to bring out a neatly folded piece of paper. Slowly opening it, he clears his throat and gives you a gentle smile. “___. My love. Our love story began six years ago in a winter wonderland, two strangers brought together by snowmen and hot chocolate. With you in my life, it’s hard to imagine how I’ve managed to get by without you. And now that I’ve found you, now that I have you, I won’t let you go. Before you, I hated the winter, the cold and lonely nights. But now, winter has a new meaning to me; love. The cold and lonely nights I cursed were replaced with warmth and love as you’ve stuck by my side.” He pauses for a moment, a tear sliding down his cheek as he takes a deep breath. “I can never show you grateful I am to have you or thank you enough for coming into my life, but I can try by being the husband you deserve, your partner, protector, and outlet of love. I love you, ___. And I can’t wait to be your husband.”

Taemin brings your hand to his lips, kissing them softly while you choke back tears. Through your blurry vision, you reach in the center of your bouquet and carefully unroll a sheet of paper. With a blink, your vision is cleared as the tears slide down your face.

“Taemin,” you begin with a smile. His eyes gently urge you to continue as he reaches forward to pat your tears away. “I consider you a gift from above. When you came into my life, a gray cloud was hovering over my head, but you turned my gray skies clear, embracing me with love and words of affirmation. When I look back at us, I remember the story your grandmother told you of the crooked carrot, and she was right. I found true love and I found it in you. With each breath I take, I’m so thankful for you and that our paths, out of millions, crossed at the right time. Now that I have you, I refuse to imagine what my life would have been like without you. To have someone that loves me as deeply as you do is impossible to find because there’s only one person that can do that, and it’s you. As long as I have air in my lungs, I will be your wife, your friend, and your home. I love you, Lee Taemin.”

Bashfully, you and Taemin exchange your written vows, your hands holding the papers tightly before tucking them away. Impatience runs its course in you the longer you stare into his eyes; you desperately want to press your lips against his, but the presence of Clara by your side interrupts your thought as she gently takes the bouquet from your hands and hands you the ring. You give her an apologetic smile before returning your attention to Taemin. Your bodies inch closer together as you place the rings on each other’s fingers and exchange ‘I Dos’.

“By the power invested in me,” the minister exclaims with a bright smile. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride!”

Taemin’s fingers gently cradle your face, slightly tilting it upwards as his thumbs softly caress the apples of your cheeks. Leaning up, you close the gap between him and you until you feel his lips press against yours. The warmth of passion and taste of peppermint on his lips make you smile against his lips. The realization of you becoming one causes a tear to slide down your face. Slowly, you pull away and rest your foreheads against each other’s, speaking so softly that your voices were inaudible to those around you.

“I love you, Mrs. Lee.”

“And I love you, Mr. Lee.”

The fireplace crackles and pops as its flames warm the room and illuminate it with hues of gold. The harsh wind blows snow past the window where its corners are decorated with frost. The aroma of s'mores fills the room as you and Taemin devour the graham cracker treats; the gooey chocolate and marshmallow smear on your fingers and faces.

Taemin playfully licks the spot of chocolate from the side of your mouth and delightfully hums at its sweetness. The feather-like glides of his tongue tickle you as you try to pull away from his body, but his arms wrap around and hold onto you tighter. His child-like laugh draws you closer as you give in and allow yourself to be pulled closer. The feeling of his breath against your neck sends tingles throughout your body, making your back slightly arched.

Your laughter transforms into gentle moans you try to disguise as hums. Your body relaxes into Taemin’s chest as his luscious lips tenderly kiss down your neck, his lips branding you with warmth with each kiss. The sensual sensation causes your chest to shudder as you take a shaky breath.

Taemin pulls you into his lap where his arms firmly wrap around your waist. While his lips dance across your skin, you bring your hand up to his hair, your fingers gently gripping it just as he pulls away as an act of disappointment. His eyes scan the trail on your neck where his lips once were and gently blows on it, causing shivers to cascade down your spine. His lips twitch into a conceited smirk as he catches the fire’s reflection in his trail of wet kisses.

You get lost in the heat of the moment. You slowly guide Taemin’s index and middle fingers into your mouth. Your lips gently wrap around them. The sweet residue of melted chocolate and marshmallow makes your mouth water as your tongue circles each finger, pressing them against the middle of your tongue where you begin to teasingly suck on them. 

A moan presses against Taemin’s lips, begging to be let out. He bites his lower lip to suppress its power as he watches his fingers disappear and reappear in your mouth; the thought of your lips wrapped around his cock as you gaze seductively, tauntingly into his eyes gives his moan strength to push past his lips. Taemin’s quiet moan makes you yearn for more. With a “pop”, you slowly remove his fingers from your mouth. They shine under the firelight.

Your body turns until you straddle his lap as your chest presses against his. Your fingertips softly push back his fallen bangs; your eyes lovingly take in the features of his face while you begin to slowly grind yourself against his pelvis. The friction of his growing member causes a quick moan to slip past your lips as you grind down harder. The euphoric pleasure of the texture of Taemin’s pajama bottoms rubbing against your clit teases your sexual hunger. Your hands clasp behind his neck as you inaudibly moan his name.

Taemin’s lips slightly part to allow a whimper to escape. His cool fingertips lightly brush your skin before finding purchase on your hips, squeezing them to halt your rocking. The feeling of his hand sneakily traveling up your red silk nightgown with white faux fur trim sends shivers back down your spine. His hands make a note of the feel of your legs as they travel up your thigh until his palms rest against his ass.

“No underwear?” He teasingly raises a brow, his fingers kneading into your skin.

You lean forward enough for your lips to brush against his ear. “And I’m wet too.” Your low whisper makes Taemin’s body tense. “Don’t you want to be inside me, Tae? To feel my warm wet walls clench around your cock until your cum fills me up?”

Your vivid description causes Taemin to lewdly groan as he uses his free hand to reach down his pants and brings out his cock, slowly pumping himself to the imagination of making love to you. His eyes gaze up at you half-open as precum coats his tip.

“Wouldn’t this feel better?”

Before Taemin can comprehend your question, you slightly lift your hips and reach down to gently take his cock into your control. You slowly brush it between your wet folds, from your aroused clit to your entrance before easing yourself down his length. You collectively gasp when he fills your walls.

For a moment, you remain still and lean forward until your lips softly press against his. The sweet taste of his lips makes you move yours with fervor as his tongue smoothly welcomes itself into your mouth. Your arms wrap around his neck as you tilt your head to deepen the kiss.

Taemin gasps against your lips when you begin to slowly bounce on his length. Your brows furrow in pleasure as your pace slightly quickens. Like tennis, you and Taemin exchange moans when his hands grip your waist and guide your hips back and forth.

Taemin’s lips latch onto the side of your neck as inaudible moans of his name drips from your lips. The lewd sound of your wetness makes his cock twitch in the comfort of your walls. With his head leaning back, his exposed Adam’s apple bobs with each breathless moan. Leaning forward, you create a trail of wet kisses up the middle of his throat, your teeth softly grazing his skin.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, Taemin carefully lays back until his back is pressed against the warm floor. Leisurely, he thrusts upward, pulling out enough until his tip remains in before ramming back into your walls. Your breath rattles in your chest with each thrust while his thrusts spread your wetness along the top of the inside of your thighs.

The firelight coats Taemin’s skin in gold while his cheeks flush pink. His skin glistens with a thin layer of perspiration that gives it a dewy glow. Your name tastes as sweet as honey on his tongue as it passes his slightly parted puffy lips. Over and over he chants your name and declares his love for you through breathless whispers.

The immense feeling of pleasure washes over your body. Reaching up to help you, you remove your nightgown and toss it to the side. Taemin’s eyes immediately fall to your breasts that bounce each time he rams into you. He extends his neck upward and wraps his lips around your hardened nipple while his hands spread your asscheeks, occasionally slapping each side. Your hisses blend into moans, making it difficult to distinguish the two.

Your palms rest comfortably on his pecs to steady yourself from Taemin’s quickened and increasingly aggressive thrusts. The rapid rise and fall of his chests hint that he’s nearing his end. Your eyes close when his tip repeatedly rubs against your sweet spot. Your fingernails gently graze his skin, digging deeper with each thrust. Repeated pleads for Taemin to coat your walls with his cum fall from your lips, encouraging him to fall over his edge.

Taemin’s arms wrap around your upper body and press you to his chest while he mercilessly pounds into you. The lewd sounds of your wetness, whimpers, and Taemin’s balls slapping against your ass overtakes the crackle of the fireplace as they bounce off the walls.

Your lips aggressively press against Taemin’s as a fiery knot ties in your core. Together, you exchange yelps of each other’s names. You manage to slide your hand between you and Taemin’s bodies and quickly rub your swollen clit. The mixture of pleasure makes your body jerk as your walls clench tighter around his cock. Your quiet pants turn into an exclamation of his name as a flash of white flashes before your eyes, your body stiffening as your hips buckle.

The tired smile on your face contorts back into one of pleasure as Taemin’s thrusts become arrhythmic. Within a few more thrusts, he loudly grunts your name as his cum spurts inside you, painting your walls with his seed.

The sounds of pleasure that once occupied the room are replaced with the breathless pants of you and Taemin; your chests rapidly rising and falling as your skin sticks to one another. He peppers your shoulder and crook of your neck with soft kisses while he whispers beautiful words of affection against your skin. His somnolent heartbeat lulls you to drowsiness as you take long blinks, trying to keep yourself awake while Taemin’s fingertips soothingly trace shapes on your back.

“I love you,” you mumble as your heavy eyes slowly close.

The feeling of your light breaths makes Taemin quietly chuckle as he wraps his arms around your body.

Gently, he presses a kiss on the side of your head and whispers, “I love you too, my dear.”

[destielficarchive]

Deleted Author Profile: TamrynEradani

Author and co-author of more than 50 fics, for a while TamrynEradani was one of the most popular authors in the fandom, especially known for their break-out BDSM fic, “Carry On.” They’re also one of the easiest deleted authors to talk about, because they gave warning before they deleted so people could save files and (as far as I know, anyway) gave blanket permission for copies of their works to be distributed. 

Work Highlights:

Carry On, and its Timestamp (Explicit). 148,087 words (main story); 5,985 words (timestamp). No Archive Warnings Apply.

When Sam gets into Stanford, Dean needs a bigger paycheck than Bobby's garage can give him. Luckily, he knows a guy.

This is the original summary but it unfortunately gives little idea of what Carry On is actually about; basically, from a “fandom history” stand point, Carry On (written in 2013) created the BDSM genre for the Destiel fandom. While of course it wasn’t the first Destiel BDSM fic, and far from the only one even at the time it was published, it was such a major work in terms of popularity, and so well known and widely read that, especially in 2014 and 2015, almost every BDSM story that came out bore echoes of Carry On. The basic premise is: Dean needs money for Sam’s tuition, and so he decides to become a sub-for-hire, and is hired by Cas. Sound familiar? Well, Carry On did it first. (don’t take this as a judgement call or a statement on the quality of Carry On or any of the works that came after).

(Archivist’s Note: don’t expect me to write quite so much about every story, but unlike the vast majority of the fics in the Archive, I actually read Carry On, when it was still up on AO3, and so I can speak a little more than usual to it’s backstory and plot.)

Set Me Up, Buttercup (Teen+). 30,071 words. No Archive Warnings Apply.

Dean is the starting setter for his college's volleyball team. His plans for the year include winning Conferences, passing his classes, kicking Benny's butt at basketball, and making sure Ash remembers to eat and bathe on a semi-regular basis. He doesn't plan on meeting Cas Milton but once he does, Dean's carefully planned year changes.  

TamrynEradani’sentry to the 2013 Dean/Cas Bing Bang is a college AU with art by crimsonswirls.

Time of My Life (Teen+). 35,940 words. No Archive Warnings Apply.

Dean Winchester is an ice dancer who is scrambling to find a new partner after his couldn't skate with him anymore. Castiel is an ice dancer who can't seem to keep a partner. They're each other's last chance but can they also be each other's best chance?

It’s been years since I read this but irc, Time of My Life isn’t a Cutting Edge AU - TamrynEradani had never seen the movie, I think is in one of their author’s notes - but if you’ve seen the movie you’d never guess that. As the summary makes clear it’s not a precise overlap, but there’s definite commonalities.

The Dean Smith ‘Verse (Explicit). 6 stories, 28,483 words. No Archive Warnings Apply.

Dean Smith is a man of routine. Castiel takes him apart.

Another BDSM AU; Dean Smith becomes the sub for Cas. As a side note, the verse includes a threesome with Benny, but is most definitely primarily a Destiel AU.

This Crooked Fish, co-written with clotpoleofthelord (Explicit). 3 stories, 52,249 words.

With the first Lady Knight in centuries, a tournament and Progress to honor a Royal Marriage, and the Crown Prince falling in love with the King of the Rogues, it's certainly not going to be a boring year in the kingdom of Tortall.

Written with Tamryneradani, who is no longer on the internet.

Note that This Crooked Fish is still available on AO3.

Interested in any of these or other works by TamrynEradani? There is a publicly accessible list of their most popular works, with links to download them, that can be found here. (the archive also reblogged this post earlier this week)

Or, click on the read more below to see a list of which TamrynEradani fics are available in the Archive, and which we’re still looking for!

Warning: While I am willing to distribute what I have - please contact me by DM for more information - if I hear anything from the author or their representative asking me not to distribute these fics I will cease to do so. Thank you for understanding!

Fics by TamrynEradani currently in the Destiel Fic Archive:

A Glimpse of the World

A Lesson in Communication

An Empty Heart and a Full Clip 1: An Empty Heart and a Full Clip

An Empty Heart and a Full Clip 2: Graduation Party

Baking Season

Beloved

Both Sides Now

Carry On 1: Carry On

Carry On 2: Five Times Sam and Cas Met

Dean Smith Verse 1: Delayed Gratification

Dean Smith Verse 2: Who I Am When I'm With You

Dean Smith Verse 3: Positive Reinforcement

Dean Smith Verse 4: Work It

Dean Smith Verse 5: Weekend Getaway

Dean Smith Verse 6: Caught in Between

Don't Stop Believing

Employee of the Month

Games We Play

Get Out Alive

He Prayed to You Every Night

Heavenly Delights

Here in Your Arms

Hero

His Mother's Son

I Can Haz Kittenz

I'm Sorry

If You Rock the Boat, You're Gonna Get Splashed

Inside Your Heaven

Like a Human

Morning Sunshine

Mornings Like These

Most Obnoxious Angel in the Garrison 1: Paging the Righteous Man

Most Obnoxious Angel in the Garrison 2: Baked Lays and Nail Polish

My Morning Light

Never Enough

No Place Like Home

Now I See

Part of the Family

Patchwork Project

Peace of Mind

Rest for the Weary

Set Me Up, Buttercup

Softly Spoken, Softly Received

Take Us Home

Teacher Dean 1: New Students and New Beginnings

Teacher Dean 2: Tea Parties and Burritos

Teenage Rebellion

The Auction

The Dean Winchester Guide to Dating 1: Consent and Intent

The Dean Winchester Guide to Dating 2: Flowers are a Must

The Life of a Hunter

The Monster Within

Time of My Life

To Boldly Go

Unusual Combinations

Welcome to the Dork Side

What's in a Name

Whisper My Confessions to the Dark

Work It

Fics I Do Not Have Copies Of - IF YOU HAVE COPIES AND ARE WILLING TO SHARE THEM WITH ME, PLEASE CONTACT ME!

A Lifetime Special

Angels We Have Heard on High

Deck the Halls

Drive-In

Get Off My Beach

I Put Myself in Your Hands

My Pretty Boy

Speak Now

Tinfoil Dinners

Note: if you know of or have a copy of a TamrynEradani work that is on neither of the two lists just above, that means I don’t know said story even exists, and even if you don’t have a copy I’d appreciate if you could tell me the work title so I can try to find it. I do my best to be thorough, but tracking down full work lists for deleted authors is an imperfect art at best, and can be nigh-impossible at worst. Thank you!

[morningfears]

Youngblood

Rating: PG (a few swears, nothing big)

Summary: Someone requested this when Youngblood came out. I wrote it but never posted it. Essentially, listening to Youngblood for the first time as Ash’s girlfriend and giving him your opinion on it.

Word Count: 1.5k

“Ash, is it midnight yet?”

Ashton rolls his eyes playfully as he looks up from his phone and glances over at you. He laughs at the sight of you lying upside down on the couch, your head hanging over the edge and your headphones squishing your cheeks as they hang loosely around your neck. “No,” he hums as he tosses his phone onto the hotel bed and crosses the room to stand behind the couch. You feel his fingers drag along the exposed skin of your shin as he informs you, “Five more minutes.”

“Why can’t I listen now?” you pout as you lift your head just enough to catch sight of him. “I’ve been so patient, I haven’t asked to hear anything early this whole time! It’s killing me, Ashton. Do you want my death on your hands?”

“You’ve waited this long, doll,” he grins as he rounds the couch to take a seat beside you, “you can wait five more minutes. It won’t kill you.”

“But you don’t know that,” you whine as you shift yourself to rest your back against the arm of the couch and stretch your legs over Ashton’s lap, “it could very well send me into some sort of stress-related heart problem. Because my heart literally feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest, I’m so excited.”

Ashton shakes his head at your dramatics as he rubs his fingers over the fuzzy pink socks covering your ankles. “Believe me, doll, I know the feeling. I’m just as excited for you to hear it as you are to hear it. I really want you to hear the stuff we’ve worked so hard on. But I want you to have the full experience.”

“And that full experience includes making me wait until it’s on Spotify, not letting me listen to the copy you have?”

“Exactly,” he nods with a grin before he tugs you closer to him. “Sorry, doll. Just two more minutes and then you can hear all of Youngblood.”

“Can I hear your solo? I know it’s only on the Target one and I honestly don’t think it’ll be on shelves until morning and I literally can’t wait that long so…” you trail off as you settle into his side.

“Yes, dear,” he laughs before he places a kiss to the top of your head, “I’ll play Best Friend for you after you hear the rest of the album. Check your Spotify.”

You grab your phone from the coffee table and grin when you see that only one minute remains until midnight. Your grin grows when you see the notification pop up that new music is available for you. “Holy shit,” you cheer as you turn your headphones on and connect them to your phone, “I’m not listening out loud. I have to be surrounded by this perfection. You can go entertain yourself if you want, I’m gonna be here for a while.”

“I’m sure you’ll be plenty entertaining,” Ashton laughs as he allows you to shift away from him and return to the other end of the couch. “Just settle down, listen to the album. I really, really hope you like it.”

“I’m going to love it,” you assure him before you lean over to press a kiss to his lips, “just like I love you.”

“That was so fucking cheesy,” he teases as he pulls your headphones up and over your ears. “I love you, too. Now, quiet and listen to the album.”

After you settle into your spot on the couch, your feet returning to rest on Ashton’s lap, you hit play on the album. Not wanting to miss out on the full experience, you begin with Youngblood although you’ve heard it far too many times at this point. Ashton grins as he watches you bob your head and mouth the lyrics as he relaxes into the couch and turns his head to face you. He’s calm as you move on to Want You Back, another song you’ve heard multiple times at this point, but he can feel his heart begin to race just a bit as Lie To Me begins.

He tries not to stare at you, tries not to make you feel uncomfortable with his scrutiny, but he can’t help himself as he watches for any flicker of emotion to cross your face. Your opinion is one of the most important to him, he wants you to love the album as much as he does, and he’s excited for you to hear it. But he’s not sure how he can handle waiting for you to finish listening to it.

When you hit pause and nudge his thigh with your foot, Ashton blinks away the thoughts clouding his mind and raises an eyebrow at you. “Do I need tissues for this album?” you question, your eyes wide, “Because Lie to Me was fucking emo and I’m not ready for this. It was so nice, though. I loved it.”

A little bit of his anxiety disappears when you tell him that you love the track and he can read the sincerity in your eyes. “Maybe,” he laughs as he rubs the exposed skin of your shin, “but you can always come cry on my shoulder. I’ve got you, doll.”

“You say I’m the cheesy one,” you huff playfully with a roll of your eyes. “I’m good for right now. Valentine is up next and I know that one. I love it a lot, in case you were wondering. Remind me to tell Michael that I loved his voice in it.”

Ashton rolls his eyes with a laugh as he gestures for you to pull your headphones back up and over your ears. “We don’t have all night. You’re only on track four. Keep going.”

He laughs when you mutter a quiet, “Bossy,” under your breath but you do as your told and power through Valentine to reach Talk Fast.

“Fuck off,” you laugh when the song starts, “this is the 80s synth-pop jam I’ve always wanted. I fucking love this!” Ashton’s grin only grows as he watches you start dancing to the music sounding through your headphones. His heart is feeling lighter by the moment, the butterflies in the pit of his stomach are disappearing, and he’s wondering why he was ever nervous to have you listen to the album.

You’re one of the most genuinely supportive people in his life and he knows that, no matter what, you’re going to be there for him. This album is no different.

He almost wants to ask how you feel about Moving Along when he hears you mutter, “Yes, Cal. It is weird. Put on some fucking pants,” and nearly doubles over in laughter. 

He figures that you won’t keep up the running commentary, he can see you getting lost in the album, so he settles on watching the emotions flicker across your face. You’ve given up trying to hide your reactions from him, you’ve decided to just ignore his scrutiny and enjoy the album, and he can feel his own grin growing as you grin at a tune or frown at a lyric.

An hour later, you’ve run the spectrum of emotions and Ashton can feel the anxiety returning as he watches you turn off your headphones, lock your phone, and pull your legs from his lap. He’s about to ask what you thought of the album, ask what you’re doing, but before he can breathe a word, you’re situating yourself on his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms come up to wrap around your torso as his hands rub your back.

“You alright?” he questions with a laugh when you bury your face in the crook of his neck but say nothing.

“You guys broke me,” you huff against his skin, “Youngblood is fucking amazing and I hate all of you. I feel so fucking emo right now.”

“I’m sorry, doll,” he laughs as he continues to rub your back, “I’m happy you love it, though.”

“I do,” you nod as you pull away to look at him, “I love it a lot and I’m so, so, so fucking proud of you guys. This album is so good and you guys have grown so much. You took your time and you did it right and I’m so happy for you guys. You’ve grown as people and as artists and I’m so proud to call you my boyfriend and the guys my friends. This album is brilliant and, ugh, I’m just so proud.”

Ashton smiles at the praise you continue to bestow on him and holds you tight against his chest. It means the world to him, knowing that you love it so much, and it makes him happy to have someone like you in his corner. “I love you,” he breathes as he pulls you closer to him to press a kiss to your lips. “Thank you for being here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I really want to make a joke and say crash and burn but I can’t. You’re so strong and so amazing that you’d be just fine but I’m really glad to be by your side. It’s a privilege and one that I don’t take lightly,” you assure him as you cup his cheeks and brush your thumbs over his heated skin.  “I love you.”

Ashton knows that he’s lucky to have you in his life and he knows that, regardless of what anyone else thinks, your approval is what truly matters.

__________________________________________________

Author’s Note: I lowkey miss writing super simple, really easy concepts. This was so fun. I love super intricate plots and fun stories but, like, something about a simple one shot, man. Also, can you tell that Talk Fast was my favorite song on the album? It really is the 80s synth pop song I needed. I can’t wait for CALM. I’m finally getting to see them live after being a fan since, like, 2013/2014 and, um. I can’t wait. To whoever requested this, sorry it’s, like. Almost two years late. Yikes. Anyway. Enjoy!

[ceealaina]

Title: Time May Change Me Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - Time Travel (to the past) Ship: Stony Rating: E Major Tags: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame, Endgame Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, Summary: A slight shift in timing during the time heist mission leaves Tony and Steve trapped in 1970. Stuck together while they try and work out a new plan, they instead start to see each other in a whole new light. Word Count: 13,609

It started to go wrong the way these things usually did for them — the second they split up. (You’d think by now they would have learned.)

Tony’s timing (hah, how fitting that time was working against them) had been off by seconds. He was just about to cut into the appropriate container, grab the Tesseract and get the hell out of dodge when he’d been interrupted. It probably could have been worse. At least he hadn’t been cut red -- or blue -- handed. But he was caught so off guard by being met with fucking Howard of all people that he hadn’t been able to find an excuse to stay, walking his father out and making bullshit conversation and feeling his heart sink deeper with every step further he took from the Tesseract. 

Steve hadn’t fared much better. He had, initially, gotten his hands on the Pym particles. But, distracted by a glimpse of Peggy, of seeing first hand the life she’d lived without him, he had hesitated a moment too long before leaving. He thought he’d made it out. He was outside and had signalled to Tony -- who was talking to his father, no way that was a good idea -- and was just waiting for him to join him when he heard shouts. Steve had to make a quick get away after that, leaving Tony to extricate himself as quickly and unsuspiciously as possible, and hope they’d manage to find each other again. Steve got away, but somehow the Pym Particles were lost in the process. Because that just seemed to be how their day was going. 

Tony found Steve a couple hours later, sitting forlornly on a bench in some little park. He’d abandoned most of his borrowed uniform in an attempt at disguise, leaving him in a white t-shirt and a pair of alarmingly high-waisted bell bottom pants that he’d gotten from god knew where. There were a few birds scattered by his feet and Tony resisted the urge to make a crack about old men feeding pigeons in the park as he flopped down onto the bench beside him. 

“Cheer up, Cap,” he told him, giving him a conciliatory pat on the shoulder. “It’s not so bad.” 

Steve lifted his head to glare at him, but it was half-hearted at best. “Not so bad?” he repeated. “Tony, I lost the Pym Particles.” 

“And I didn’t get the Tesseract.” 

“Oh, great, things are going to be just fine then.” 

“Wow. Sarcasm is not a good look on you, Rogers.” 

“I’m not in the mood, Tony. We’re trapped here, and apparently we don’t even have the thing we came for. It’s over, we lost.”

“Well... Not exactly.” At Steve’ confused stare, Tony gave a half shrug. “The good news is, we technically have all the time in the world. Once we get the particles, we can go right back to where we were when we left.” 

“We still have to get the particles,” Steve pointed out, but there was something almost resembling hope on his face. “And the Tesseract. And they’ll have stepped up security, if they think there was a breach.” 

“Yup,” Tony admitted. “And since bouncing in as Captain America Iron Man could probably result in some catastrophically timeline-altering bullshit, we’re probably going to have to play the long game.”

“What do we do in the meantime?” Steve asked. “It’s 1970, and we didn’t exactly come prepared. You technically haven’t even been born yet; I don’t think your driver’s license is going to fly. We’ve got no IDs, no money, and no place to stay -- SHIELD's list of safehouses isn’t going to cut it right now. How are we playing the long game?” 

Tony gave him a crooked grin. “I’m gonna tell you something, and I really need you to not judge me over this, Cap.” 

“Oh, this should be good.” 

“So back when I was thirteen and in my last years of high school, I was young, and bored, and…”

“A pain in the ass?” Steve supplied.

“Precocious.” Tony gave him a dirty look. “Point being, I may have run some scams, started selling fake IDs… Pre technology era, it was surprisingly easy, actually. Which probably doesn’t say much for the security of our country, but works out well for our purposes.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “You want to run scams selling IDs?”

“Well, the IDs would be for us, but basically… Yeah, at least until we get ourselves situated. Unless you got a better idea? I mean, stripping usually pays under the table. Not sure how prominent male strippers were in 1970, but I’m sure you could fetch a pretty penny with that ass.” 

Steve gave a long, pained sigh. “Nope. ID scams it is.” 

THREE MONTHS LATER 

Steve padded down the hall and into the avocado green kitchen that never failed to make his soul cry a little. Tony was already there, sitting at the kitchen table with a legal pad and a mechanical pencil, muttering to himself as he sketched out equations that Steve couldn’t even begin to process. Steve arched an eyebrow at him, beelining for the coffee pot; Tony’s bad habits were starting to rub off on him. 

“You get any sleep last night?” 

Tony waved his free hand in a so-so gesture before scribbling a few more numbers and looking up to give Steve a slightly crooked grin. “Couple hours.” He made a show of looking Steve up and down, and even though he should have been used to it by now, Steve felt a shiver run up his spine. “Cute shorts, Cap.” 

Steve rolled his eyes, shifting to tug at the super short hemline for the umpteenth time. “It’s July, Tony. It’s 90 degrees out there. And apparently this is what the 1970s have to offer for running shorts.” 

Tony leaned back in the chair, balancing it on the back two legs. “Hey, I’m not complaining.” He gave him a wink. “Seriously, Steve. You look good.” 

Instead of answering, Steve turned to the refrigerator, pulling out a carton of eggs. Since they’d been stuck here, there had been a million little things that Steve had barely even noticed in the future that he missed terribly now, and currently his Super Special Super Soldier Protein Bars (Tony’d had them patented in 2013) were topping the list. He was sure someone, somewhere would have Thoughts on his shifting priorities and how they reflected the Decline Of America, but energy bars were infinitely preferable to having to mix raw eggs into his orange juice, and there was no way around it. He had to pinch his nose as he knocked the drink back, trying to swallow as quickly as he could, but it didn’t do anything to mask the texture.

The sentiment was apparently shared by Tony, who made a face as he watched Steve3. “I could probably reverse engineer some kind of protein bar that meets your super soldier needs,” he offered. 

Steve gave him a fond smile. “I’ve had worse,” he told him, which was true, but not by much. “And I don’t think I’d trust your cooking. Anyway, I think I’d rather you reverse engineer a way for us to get the Tesseract.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Tony frowned back down at his legal pad and aggressively scratched out a few numbers. “I’m working on it.” 

Steve arched his eyebrows at him. “And I’m going for a run.” 

Tony waved him off, but as Steve headed back into the hall, he heard him call, “Bye, Cap! Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave!” 

As he started his regular run through the winding streets of small town Jersey (ew), Steve’s mind started to wander the way it always did when he worked out -- even if he had to hold himself back to keep from attracting unwanted attention. And, the way it seemed to be doing more and more lately, as his worries took a backseat, his mind drifted to Tony instead. 

Steve couldn’t say exactly when things had changed between them. It had been the same as usual, at first, the two of them poking and prodding at each other. Steve respected Tony, always had after New York, and he was pretty sure Tony felt the same way about him. But they also knew how to push each other’s buttons, and didn’t seem to be able to stop doing it.

As the spring had dragged on, and their plans to get back into Fort LeHigh went exactly nowhere, and frustrations grew, Steve had expected things to get even worse between them. But instead the exact opposite had happened. Maybe it was the fact that he had a kid now, maybe it was the fact that it felt like the whole world was against them right now, nothing going right, and they were the only ones who had each other’s back. But Tony was different now, and Steve had a feeling that he probably was too. 

They had talked about it, once, after yet another tossed out plan. Tony had admitted how much this was weighing on him, how scared he was that this would fail, how many people were counting on them -- Morgan most of all. And then, in a voice that broke Steve’s heart, Tony had admitted that making the effort to get along with Steve made him feel a little bit better about failing to get them out of there. Steve had tried to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, that coming to 1970 may have been Tony’s idea, but that he’d also been right about it being their only chance. But he knew Tony enough to know that that guilt wasn’t going to stop no matter what Steve said. So he made the effort to be kinder to Tony in turn. And somewhere along the way, it stopped being an effort and just became their relationship. They still teased and prodded at each other, but instead of antagonism, it was all fondness, Tony looking delighted every time he’d get a smile out of Steve. They argued too, sometimes, because they were still them, but the arguments were fewer and farther between, and more often than not they’d just fizzle out entirely until they could come back to it later and have an actual conversation instead. 

The team was his family, he loved and trusted them with every ounce of his body. But the little house he shared with Tony was starting to feel like home in a way that he hadn’t found since 1942. Steve knew he shouldn’t be getting too comfortable, that he was probably getting too complacent about their lack of progress. But it was easy to take heart in the fact that they’d be able to return to the same point in time. And he was enjoying the familiarity of their little life here. Tony had gotten a job at a local garage, kept making jokes Steve didn’t quite understand about how he was an actual mechanic now, and Steve had managed to pick up some freelance work drawing cartoons for the local paper. On the mornings when Tony hadn’t stayed up all night, Steve would start the coffee pot, making sure there was a fresh mug waiting for him when he dragged himself out of bed for his shift. And in turn, Tony would prepare dinner, because apparently cooking was a thing he’d learned in the past five years, more often than not making Steve’s favourites. They just knew each other now, things easy and familiar. Steve had expected to be bored, to be slowly going crazy with all the sitting around and waiting. But instead it was almost pleasant, like he’d been able to press the pause button on his life for one damn second. 

Apparently Steve Rogers was the domestic type, who knew? 

And then, of course, there were the other ways that Steve was starting to know Tony. Over the past few weeks, Tony’s teasing ogling had turned a little less… Teasing. Several times now, Steve had caught Tony staring at him when he thought Steve wasn’t looking, his gaze soft and heated and wanting in a way that made Steve squirm. And his comments on Steve’s body had an edge to them, a bit of truth to the words that hadn’t been there before. 

And, well, the house wasn’t big. Steve wasn’t going to pretend that he hadn’t heard Tony jerk off on multiple occasions, that he hadn’t strained his ears to listen for the whisper of his name on Tony’s lips, that he hadn’t then jerked himself off with a little more noise than he would normally, picturing Tony do the same. Maybe it was just the fact that it was only the two of them here together, but Steve couldn’t escape feeling that there was something building between them. 

***

The day had ended up being scorchingly hot, and Tony had picked up an extra shift at the garage, so Steve had cooked dinner. He’d never really bothered to learn to cook properly -- Tony liked to joke that his taste buds had been so ruined by Depression era food that not even the serum could save them -- but he could manage a few staples. He’d burned the first attempt at cheeseburgers, but the second set were better, and all the chaos was worth it when Tony shuffled into the kitchen, looking exhausted, only to inhale deeply and then positively beam. 

“Steve,” he declared, still in his mechanic’s coveralls as he slumped into one of the kitchen chairs with a cold beer in his hand. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I love you.” 

It was fully dark by the time they finished their meal. The windows and the kitchen door were wide open in the hopes of catching a breeze, and the sounds of the crickets outside filtered through the house. The heat hadn’t dissipated at all with the disappearance of the sun, giving everything a hazy, dreamy feel. Tony had unzipped the top half of his coveralls, leaving them hanging around his waist with only a threadbare white muscle shirt covering his chest. Steve kept having to look away but couldn’t seem to keep his eyes from drifting right back. Those coveralls were his number one weakness right now; he’d had multiple filthy fantasies about peeling Tony out of them. 

“Fuck, it’s hot,” Tony muttered, knocking back the last of his beer. His legs were spread on the chair, posture loose and easy, and Steve watched his throat bob as he swallowed. 

“You could go and change,” Steve pointed out, even as his dick screamed at him to shut up, that was the last thing he wanted. 

Tony sighed. “Yeah, but then I’d have to move,” he complained, offering Steve a grin. “Anyway, it’s my turn to do the dishes,” he added, not seeming to care that he’d just negated his last point entirely. 

“No, hey. You've had a long day,” Steve said. “I’ll do them.”

Tony hummed, considering. “You wash and I’ll dry?” 

“Done deal.”

Washing the dishes with Tony was one of his favourite chores, and tonight was no exception. They alternated between companionable silence as they worked, broken only by the gentle splash of water as Steve rinsed another dish, and easy chatter, nohing of importance, just dumb jokes and mindless anecdotes. 

“So then,” Tony concluded, giving a glass a half-assed swipe with his dishcloth and putting it away mostly wet. Steve thought about calling him on it, but didn’t. “It turned out that he’d somehow wired the radio to the headlights? And every time they came on, the radio would turn off. That’s why it wouldn’t work at night.” 

It wasn’t even that funny of a story, but Tony’s laughter was contagious. Steve turned to smile at him, and something in his chest caught. Tony was grinning, face lit up with humor and a hint of anticipation as he stared back at Steve. He had a lock of hair falling over his forehead, curling in the hot summer air, and he was still wearing those damn coveralls, biceps on display. Hardly aware of what he was doing, Steve let the dishcloth slip into the sink and curled a soapy wet hand around the back of Tony’s neck. He had a brief moment to notice Tony’s tiny shiver at the water on his skin, and then Steve leaned in and kissed him. Tony’s lips were warm and soft and slightly parted, practically inviting Steve to deepen the kiss, to suck gently on his upper lip. Tony made a soft noise in response, barely more than a huff of air, and all of a sudden Steve realized what he was doing. 

With a start he pulled back, almost immediately missing the touch of Tony’s skin beneath his fingers. “Oh god, I’m sorry,” he burst out, staring at the floor and pressing his fingers gingerly to his own lips, like he could hide what he’d done. “I don’t know what that was. It’s just the heat, and, and… You…” 

Stomach twisting with nerves, Steve chanced a glance up at Tony, expecting him to be upset, or angry, or even hurt for some reason. But instead Tony was just staring back at him with a soft, pleased smile on his lips. “It’s okay, Steve.” 

And sure, he probably just meant that he was forgiving Steve’s lapse of judgement, Steve knew that. But he could also be giving Steve permission, and so he leaned in, kissing him again. And when Tony didn’t shove him away, only sighed against his mouth and pressed his palms against Steve’s abs through his tight, white-t-shirt, Steve deepened it once more, pressing his tongue past Tony’s lips to taste him. His hands shifted to grip at Tony’s hips, thumbs sliding over the bare skin where his shirt didn’t quite touch his coveralls, and he was only half-aware of turning them until he had Tony pressed back against the counter, Steve looming over him and holding him in place. 

They were both breathing hard by the time he pulled back again, and Steve couldn’t stop staring at Tony. His hair was more mussed now, though neither of them had touched it, little strands curling around his neck and ears. His lips were red and swollen, eyes dark and heavy, and he was still giving Steve that soft smile. He tilted his head a little, squinting like he was trying to read him, and then he grinned. 

“Close the door, Steve.” 

Steve blinked at him, wondering if he was somehow so horny for it that a little kissing had completely fried his brain. “What?” 

Tony laughed softly, the sound sending something warm and pleasant furling through Steve’s stomach -- though that may have been helped by the way that Tony slid his hands up Steve’s chest, dragging over his tight nipples in the process, and fiddled with the collar of his shirt. 

“Shut the kitchen door, Steve. So we can go to bed.” 

Steve nodded, a little dazed, and reluctantly let go of Tony’s hips. He didn’t know if Tony meant to go to bed because if they’d reached this point it was time to call it a night, or to go to bed, but he moved over to the kitchen door. He could feel Tony watching him with every step, his gaze heavy on his back and setting Steve’s nerves into hyperdrive. He shut the door firmly, the click of the lock seeming thunderous in the weighted silence of the room. Swallowing thickly he turned back to Tony. 

“So, uh…” His voice sounded strange to his own ears and he trailed off, not sure what he even wanted to ask. Tony seemed to know though, giving Steve an amused smile. He held out his hand toward him. 

“Come on, handsome.” 

Steve moved back across the room, and curled his fingers around Tony’s. There were calluses on Tony’s hand, dragging against his own smooth skin, and Steve shivered at the sensation. There was a soft huff of laughter from Tony and then he was tugging gently on Steve’s arm, leading him down the hall toward their bedrooms. It felt hopelessly domestic, and something that had nothing to do with sex tugged at his heart. They didn’t speak, not even when they reached Tony’s bedroom door. Tony didn’t hesitate, his hand still clasped around Steve’s as he pulled him inside, and Steve was helpless to do anything but keep following. 

Tony led him over to the side of the bed, angling himself to face Steve as he sat down beside him. Steve’s breath caught as Tony locked eyes with him, running his hand lightly over his chest before he curled his hand in the cotton of his t-shirt, tugging at him gently until they were kissing again. Steve let himself melt into it, hyper-aware of every point of contact between them as heat flooded through his body. Steve let his hand slide over Tony’s ribs and the two of them tipped back against the mattress until they were lying side by side, sharing kisses so sweet they almost ached. One of Tony’s hands came up, running through Steve’s hair, and he shuddered against him, pulling back to look at Tony with heavy eyes. 

“Tony, what…” Steve tightened his hand against Tony’s waist, not wanting him to pull away. “What are we doing?” 

Tony huffed out another soft laugh, shifting closer until his chest was pressed to Steve’s. “I think that’s kind of obvious, Cap,” he told him, voice low and rough. 

Steve whined softly, his hand clenching against Tony’s side before he forced himself to loosen his grip. “What… What about Pepper?” he asked, because he couldn’t not. 

But Tony just smiled, unperturbed. “Don’t worry about it. We have an understanding,” he told him vaguely before pressing in closer. Steve could feel their lips brush against each other, unbearably intimate. “Just relax, Steve,” Tony hummed. “I want this. I think you want this too, right?” 

Steve nodded. “Yeah,” he said, voice rasping over the word. Tony beamed. 

“Then don’t worry about anything else.” 

Tony kissed him again, soft and slow, and Steve let himself sink into it, everything that wasn’t Tony’s lips on his fading from his mind. Tony shifted against him, pushing himself up on one elbow so he could press Steve onto his back, leaning over him. He moved his hand up under Steve’s t-shirt, and Steve gasped a little, abs flexing at the touch of his cool fingers. Tony grinned against his mouth, tugging at his lower lip. 

“There we go,” he hummed. “God Steve, you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to touch you like this?” He pushed at the fabric, movements getting a little sloppy. “Come on, gorgeous. Let me see you.” 

Steve felt hot all over, could feel his cheeks flushing red. He pushed himself up far enough to haul his t-shirt off over his head. 

“Oh yeah,” Tony breathed. “There we go.” 

Steve rolled his eyes, not bothering to hide his fond smile. “You know, you have seen me shirtless before,” he pointed out. “This morning, even.” 

“Yeah,” Tony agreed, but he sounded distracted, eyes locked somewhere around Steve’s nipples. “But it’s different now.” 

Steve arched an eyebrow, peering down his chest skeptically. “I didn’t run that hard,” he told him, voice teasing. 

Tony shook his head. “You’re not different. It’s just… Knowing I actually get to touch you, get to have you?” He visibly shuddered at the thought, and the idea of Tony wanting him that much sent something hot and squirmy rolling through Steve’s body.

“Tony, fuck,” he muttered, hips rolling up as he yanked Tony back down on top of him. Tony made a startled noise that shifted to groan as he ended up with Steve’s cock pressing into his hip.

“God,” he breathed, breath hot on Steve’s skin. He dragged his teeth over the tendon in his neck. “The things I wanna do to you.” 

“Please,” Steve moaned, sliding his hand down Tony’s back to squeeze at his ass through the coveralls. “Whatever you want, anything.” 

Tony grinned into his neck. “Whatever I want, huh? Never thought I’d hear those words coming from you, Cap.” 

Steve opened his mouth to offer some kind of retort, but bit out a string of curses instead as Tony’s thumb found his left nipple, rubbing over the pert flesh. Tony was barely touching him, just flicks of his fingers and teasing little brushes of skin on skin, but every point of contact was setting Steve on fire, feeling like it was on the cusp of too much. He let his eyes fall shut, hands clenching periodically over Tony’s ass and side as his cock throbbed in his shorts. 

“Tony, god, please. I want…” 

“What?” Tony asked, and his voice was thick and rough. Steve opened his eyes again to see Tony staring down at him hungrily, biting down hard on his lower lip. “What do you want Steve?” 

“Please,” he whined, dragging his hand back up to Tony’s hips to hold him in place while he rocked his hips up against him. “Wanna… Touch. Please.” 

He could feel the hot air of Tony’s breath as he laughed against his neck, and then he slid lower down Steve’s waist, sucking the nipple he’d already been teasing into his mouth. Steve didn’t even try to hold back his shout as Tony bit down on the tender skin. His body arched up into the touch, nearly unseating Tony entirely. 

“Christ,” Tony muttered. “You’re so fucking sensitive.” 

Steve whined as Tony’s warm heat left his body, but when he opened his eyes in protest, Tony was grinning at him as he stripped off his tank top. Steve let his eyes drag hungrily down Tony’s chest, noted the way he flushed a little in response, and then scrambled to arch his hips and kick his shorts off down his hips. Tony was doing the same with his coveralls, and distantly Steve felt a little disappointed that he hadn’t had the chance to peel him out of them himself. But then his cock was springing free, resting hot and hard against his belly, and Steve couldn’t stop himself from curling his hand around it, groaning in relief. 

It took him a minute to realize that Tony had stopped undressing, staring at Steve’s cock with heavy eyes and his lips parted. “Holy shit, Steve,” he ground out. Then he was kicking off the last of his clothes and moving to lean over Steve again, covering his hand with his. Steve gasped at the sensation -- he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had someone else touching him, and this was Tony -- and his cock grew heavier in their shared grip. “Fuck, Steve.” Tony bit down on his earlobe, hard, tightening his grip around him. “You gotta let me taste you, honey, please.” 

There was suddenly nothing that Steve wanted more and he whined a little desperately, catching Tony’s lips in a desperate, sloppy kiss before Tony moved down his body, kissing sporadically over Steve’s chest as he went. 

From the first flick of Tony’s tongue against the head of his cock, Steve was lost. He rolled his head back, knowing if he tried to look at Tony now he’d last all of five seconds. He panted up at the ceiling instead, body thrumming and over sensitive. The hot summer air was giving everything a dreamy, dazed feel, not quite real, and he gave himself over to the sensation, losing sight of time and what was happening, but hyperconscious of how good he felt, the way his skin lit up everywhere that Tony touched him. His mouth was hot and wet, swallowing around Steve over and over again, until he couldn’t focus on anything else. 

Steve had no idea how much longer it had been when he felt his balls draw up tight, his orgasm suddenly right there. He gave a ragged moan, patting clumsily at Tony’s shoulder. 

“Tony,” he mumbled, and he hadn’t thought he’d been screaming, but his voice sure sounded like it. “Gonna…” 

But Tony didn’t pull off, just swallowed him deeper. Wondering if maybe he hadn’t understood, Steve dragged his eyes open only to look down and find Tony staring back at him intensely. There was a look in his eyes like making Steve feel good was the greatest thing he had ever accomplished, and Steve couldn’t hold on any longer. Clenching his fingers in the sheets hard enough to ache, Steve spilled down Tony’s throat, cursing when that only made Tony swallow harder around him. 

When he’d finished, Steve collapsed flat on his back on the mattress, body limp and ears ringing. For a long moment he was only aware of his own breathing, his heart racing in his ears. And then he felt Tony shifting against him, opened his eyes to see Tony on his knees beside him, jerking off frantically. He was running his mouth again, but Steve couldn’t seem to focus on what he was saying, only catching bits here and there as Tony rambled about how gorgeous he was, how hot that had been, how he couldn’t wait to do it again, and again, and again. Steve couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from the sight of Tony’s cock moving through his fist. He was thicker than Steve had expected, the tip wet as it poked between his fingers over and over again. He wanted to touch him, taste him, but he could seem to find the energy to do much more than reach up, mirroring Tony’s earlier movements and curling his hand over Tony’s, feeling the rhythm of him jerking himself off. 

Tony’s eyes snapped to his, his face looking almost comically startled, and then he was making a strangled noise before he came across Steve’s chest. It seemed to go on forever and then he was collapsing onto his side, not quite touching Steve but close enough that he could feel the heat from his skin anyway. It was like second nature for Steve to shift his arm, stroking his fingers feather light up and down Tony’s back. 

He drifted for awhile, everything still having that hazy, unreal feel. At some point he’d been aware of the mattress shifting, Tony getting up only to return a few moments later, giving them both a cursory wipe down with a damp cloth. Distantly Steve had thought that maybe he should get up, return to his own room, that maybe Tony wouldn’t want him actually sleeping beside him. But before he could make a move, Tony had tossed the cloth in the direction of the bathroom and flopped down beside him again, this time slinging an arm across Steve’s waist. His skin was hot and sticky, but Steve couldn’t bear the thought of getting him to move.

He must have slept, because suddenly he was awake again, aware of the crickets chirping outside the open bedroom window and Tony breathing into his neck. His breathing was steady and even, but somehow Steve knew he was awake anyway. He wondered what he was thinking of, if he was just riding the high of an amazing orgasm, or if he was thinking of home, of his family. That made Steve think of Pepper again, wondering what exactly ‘an understanding’ meant, and he felt guilt twist low in his stomach. 

“Tony?” 

“Hmm?” Tony’s voice was soft but alert, and Steve drew in a deep breath. 

“What’s your ‘understanding’ with Pepper? Did you, I mean… You didn’t just say that so we’d keep going, did you?” 

Tony made a disgruntled noise and pushed himself up with the arm not draped over Steve. He stared down at him, eyes slightly narrowed, although he didn’t actually look offended. “What, you think I was so thirsty for it that I lied so you wouldn’t stop me from cheating on my wife?”

Steve winced; put like that, it sounded really bad. “Well, no. And I don’t know if you noticed, but I wasn’t exactly putting much effort into stopping you, I just…” He trailed off, giving him an awkward, helpless shrug. Tony blinked at him a moment longer and then flopped back down on the mattress, fingers drawing idle patterns over Steve’s abs. The silence dragged out between them and Steve was just about to do something to break it when Tony spoke, the words mumbled against Steve’s shoulder. 

“Pepper and I aren’t actually together anymore.” 

Steve blinked. “Oh,” he said, a little dazed. He didn’t know what he had been thinking, but that was the last thing he had expected. “Oh shit, Tony. I’m sorry.” He felt his heart sink. “Was it… Was it because you came back? To help us with the whole time travel thing, I mean?” 

“What? No! God no, nothing like that! Pepper was actually the one pushing me to do it. No, we, uh... actually... haven’t been like that for awhile.” 

He sighed, flopping onto his back and slinging an arm across his eyes. Steve immediately missed the weight of his arm across his middle, but he curled his hand around the back of Tony’s neck instead and waited patiently for him to figure out what he wanted to say. 

“I don’t know,” he said finally. “After I came back from… From space, things were different. It wasn’t anything she did. It probably wasn’t even anything I did, it was just… Different. Whatever we had wasn’t there anymore. She knew it too. But then she told me she was pregnant, had been before that squid-faced fuck arrived even. And I…” Tony pulled his hand away and rolled his head so he could look over at Steve. “I don’t know, Steve. For the first time since we lost, I remembered what hope felt like again.” He smiled, completely different from how he had smiled at Steve earlier, but just as warm. “She wasn’t even born yet, but Morgan was already saving my life. I wanted that baby more than I’d ever wanted anything in my entire life.” He snorted, his smile going uneven. “Even my dad’s approval,” he added, and Steve winced but Tony’s eyes were dancing. “So Pep and I talked and talked and talked and talked, and eventually we decided… Fuck it. We may not have been in love anymore, but we still love each other. We’re always gonna love each. And with all the shit we’ve been through together, we figured we could totally platonically coparent a baby.” He shrugged. “It’s been working out pretty fantastic, actually, but uh… Yeah. We haven’t been together in like five years so… You’re off the hook.” 

“Oh.” Steve nodded. “That’s good.” He knew he should have felt better knowing this and he did. But he also felt weirdly bad about it. He thought every day about what had happened when Thanos’s minions had arrived in New York, replaying it all over and over. This felt like just one more thing that he could have stopped, like maybe if he’d just been there they could have ended it before Tony ever went into space, and maybe Tony and Pepper would still be together. 

He didn’t say any of this out loud, of course, but Tony seemed to know something was up anyway. His eyes narrowed a bit before he rolled back onto his side, hand resting comfortably on Steve’s stomach like it belonged there. “Hey. Whatever you’re thinking? Stop. This really is for the best, I’m not lying. We still love each other, and it’s working really well this way. Honestly, I’m not sure what would have happened if we tried to do this as a marriage, but I don’t think it would have ended well. And anyway, the past is the past Steve. There’s no point in worrying about it because we can’t go back and change it.” 

Steve gave him a look. “We’re living in 1970, Tony.”

“Okay, but we’re not changing the past, we’re just… Borrowing from it. Well, if you ignore the idea that we’re making minute changes in time just by our ongoing existence here, and that the longer we stay the further those ripples will travel. But we’re not actively trying to change the past, and anyway, all of that should be negated when we eventually return the stones to their original point, so…” He waved his hand, giving Steve a sheepish smile. “Point being, I think we both did things we regret. Going over and over them isn’t going to help anything. Just gotta… Stop thinking about it and move on.”

Steve was quiet for a long moment, combing his fingers absently through Tony’s hair; it was oddly soothing. “I don’t think I can,” he admitted quietly. He gave a short laugh. “Tactical mind. I keep running through scenarios in my head. All the things I could have done differently, all the ways it could have played out instead… I can’t stop it.” 

Tony lifted his head to stare at him, eyes wide and horrified. “Still?” he demanded. “You’ve been carrying that around for the last five years? Jesus, Steve.” He shook his head, blowing out a long breath. “Okay, well. I know I can’t make that stop for you, but I can promise you that even if we can’t change the past, we are going to make up for it. We’re going to fix this, Steve. You and me, together.” 

Steve nodded, curling his arm tighter around Tony’s back as something in him eased a little. “Together,” he repeated quietly. 

***

Steve woke up the next morning alone in Tony’s bed. The air filtering through the window was already hot and humid, promising another sticky day. For a brief moment he was a little disappointed that he hadn’t woken up with Tony beside him, but he could smell bacon and coffee drifting down the hall from the kitchen, so he slid out of bed, hauling on the boxers that he’d left on the floor and padded down the hall to the kitchen. 

Like most mornings, Tony was working at the kitchen table, but he looked up as Steve came in and his expression went a little dazed as he took in Steve’s barely dressed state. “Uhh.” Tony made a punched out noise before he seemed to get himself under control, offering Steve a broad grin. 

“Morning, Cap,” he said, voice sounding a little raspy like… Well, like he’d been sucking cock. Between that and his obvious appreciation of his body, Steve felt his dick twitch in his shorts. He shifted a little, giving Tony a bright smile in return. 

“Hi Tony,” he said, moving over to the coffee pot. He could feel Tony’s eyes on him as he poured the mug and when he turned back around it took a minute for Tony’s eyes to drag back up from he’d been staring at his ass. Steve couldn’t help his pleased little grin as he sat across from Tony at the table. “Any progress?” he asked, nodding at the legal pad covered in Tony’s weird shorthand.

Tony shrugged, but he didn’t even glance at the paper, eyes trained on Steve. “Same as usual,” he told him, taking another swallow of coffee. “Surprisingly hard to hack a security system that hasn’t been automated yet. And they’ve really stepped up their shit.” He eyed Steve, tilting his head a little. “You going for your run this morning?” 

Steve shrugged, glancing down at his mostly naked state and grinning ruefully. “I mean, I might put on a few more clothes first, but yeah, probably…” He eyed Tony, who was ogling him again. “Why?” he asked, voice a little lower. 

Tony slunk a little lower in his seat, eyes going dark as they locked with Steve’s. “I don’t have to go to the garage until a little later this morning, since I worked late yesterday and everything.” He grinned then, eyebrows waggling. “Wanna do a different kind of cardio this morning?” 

They didn’t actually make it to the bedroom this time, only getting as far as the kitschy sunken living room before Tony got his hand in Steve’s boxers and the two of them collapsed to the ground in an uncoordinated heap. Tony jerked him off right there, whispering filthy things into his ear until he came. Steve had barely caught his breath before he was shoving Tony onto his back so he could return the favor. 

Afterward, they both lay splayed out on their backs, panting up at the ceiling. Steve hummed, vaguely aware of Tony squirming around beside him. “I never noticed that crack on the ceiling,” he said. “Should have asked for a discount from the realtor.” Tony giggled, right in his ear, and Steve realized that all the squirming had been so he could move closer to Steve, pressing up against his side despite the heat and slinging a leg over his hip. 

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time we get trapped forty years in the past and have to buy a house together,” Tony promised, giving a contented little sigh against Steve’s neck. It was strangely comforting having him close like that, leaving Steve feeling settled. He curled his arm around Tony, rubbing over the bare skin at his hip. 

“It this… A thing now?” he asked. 

There was a long moment of quiet from Tony before he answered, like he was choosing his words carefully. “It’s… Whatever you need it to be, Steve,” he settled on at last. Steve wasn’t entirely sure where that left them, but for now he would take it.

***

Tony whistled to himself as he rooted around in the engine of the Dodge Challenger, in a ridiculously pleasant mood. He was genuinely enjoying working as a mechanic; it was good hands-on work, helping to keep his brain calm, but there was a simplicity to the older engines that he had always preferred. There was a reason he’d kept so many classics in his own garage. It was more than that too though. Since he and Steve had started sleeping together, things felt brighter somehow. The urgency that had been plaguing him since they had fucked up their first time heist, the sense of panic that he had been trying to hide, it had all faded. He was still worried, of course, still working on a new plan, but it didn’t feel so hopeless now. Between the two of them, he knew they’d get it done. 

Tony had moved to grab a wrench from the workbench when Joe wandered out of the office, leaning against the doorway. “Barbecue and beers at my place Saturday night. All the fellas are coming. You in?”

“Oh.” Tony couldn’t help his grin. He still wasn’t entirely used to his coworkers seeming to just like him, not wanting anything from him because, as far as they knew, he didn’t have anything to offer. “Yeah, sounds great!”  

He turned back to the car, but Joe didn’t move away. Tony could feel his eyes on him, and he turned back, eyebrows arched expectantly. 

“You know…” Joe hesitated another moment. “My brother never married. His roommate comes with him to family dinners and for Christmas. Charlie’s a great guy, and he and my brother have a really nice life. No one here would give you grief if your… roommate came along for a drink, is all I’m saying.” 

Tony blinked, not quite sure what to do with that. “Oh. Uh, thanks. I will… Let Steve know.” 

Joe gave him a warm smile then, followed by a quick pat on the back before he headed back into the office without another word. Tony turned back to the car, utterly nonplussed. 

“Steve’s not my boyfriend,” he grumbled at the engine, but even as he said the words, his stomach twisted a little and a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Pepper yelled, ‘liar!’ He blinked down at the mechanics beneath him, thought of how they ate dinner together every night, how long they could spend talking and laughing together, the animosity left over from the last few years faded entirely. How the sex they had could just as often be considered, well, love making, as much as he hated that particular phrase. Tony felt something catch in his chest. “Oh shit, is Steve my boyfriend?” 

When he laid it all out like that, like an equation to be solved, it definitely sounded like a relationship. But even bigger, when he focused on Steve’s face, really pictured his smile and his laugh, he felt something in his belly go warm and soft. He didn’t know how he had missed it before, but it was the same feeling he used to have when he thought of Pepper, and Rhodey before that. Tony groaned, sinking forward against the edge of the car. 

“Oh god,” he muttered. “I’m in love with Steve Rogers.” 

The rest of his shift passed in a blur, Tony caught off guard and a little overwhelmed. The thing was, when he really stopped and thought about it, these feelings weren’t exactly new. In fact, he had a feeling that even while he’d been completely in love with Pepper, and even when he and Steve had been at their absolute worst, there’d been a part of Tony still a little in love with Steve. The way they’d worked so intuitively together, even when they were at odds, the way they’d be so in sync over the weirdest things… there’d always been a spark there. And now alone together, able to talk, and relax, and really take the time to understand each other, he supposed it made sense that that spark would grow into something real. 

When he finally wandered in the front door, mind still a bit of a wreck, Steve was standing in the kitchen, cooking them dinner, which looked like it consisted of panned fried hamburgers and… Tomato soup, for some reason. He must have heard the door, but he didn’t look up, humming to himself as the meat sizzled in the frying pan. His hips were swinging a little in rhythm to whatever song he had playing in his head, and his shoulders were loose and relaxed, carrying exactly none of the tension that Tony typically associated with Steve. The whole scene was hopelessly domestic, and Tony wanted nothing more than to step up behind Steve, wrap his arms around his waist and kiss the back of his neck, just to see the squirmy little ticklish shoulder shrug that he would get in response. He was totally gone for the man. 

“Aw, fuck,” Tony muttered to himself. 

Steve did look up at that, looking over at Tony with a bright smile. “Hey Tony.” 

“Hey honey, I’m home,” he answered automatically, getting a chuckle out of Steve before he frowned at Tony a little. 

“Hey, you all right? You’re looking a little stressed.” 

Tony waved him off, stripping off the top of his coveralls and noting the way Steve’s eyes went dark at the sight -- it hadn’t taken him long to realize that Steve had a thing for this particular look. “Just a long day,” he reassured him, hopping up on the counter beside Steve. He made a grab for some of the cooked burger and got his hand swatted with the spatula for his trouble. “Wow, domestic abuse,” he deadpanned. 

Steve rolled his eyes. “What a drama queen,” he retorted, equally dry. “They’re almost done, just a few more minutes. Then we can sit down, and you can tell me allll about your long day.” He looked back up to give Tony a lecherous look. “Or not, and we can just skip to the part where I make you feel better,” he offered, waggling his eyebrows and looking pleased when Tony snorted.

Tony was quiet a moment, watching Steve’s hands manipulate the food. “Hey, Steve?” he said finally. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Shoot.” 

Tony fluttered his eyelashes at him, not wanting it to come across too seriously, in case he was reading everything all wrong. “Are you my boyfriend?” he sing-songed.

Steve choked on his own spit, coughing for a minute, but when he’d caught his breath back he was grinning like an absolute idiot. “I mean, I guess, sure,” he offered. “I hadn’t given it much thought.”

Tony arched an eyebrow at him; he knew Steve well enough to know that the flush on his neck said otherwise. 

“Okay, I’ve maybe thought about it once or twice,” he admitted sheepishly. “We can be, uh… Boyfriends, if you want. Like you said, this is whatever we want it to be. I know these are weird circumstances, but if we want to, we can call it boyfriends for now.” 

For just an instant Tony felt his smile freeze on his face, but he masked it quickly, leaning forward to give Steve a sloppy kiss on the cheek before he could read the look in his eyes. “In that case, boyfriend, call me when dinner’s ready. I’m just gonna wash up.” 

He slipped off the counter and headed down the hall for the bathroom, adding an extra wiggle to his walk to make Steve laugh. But once he hit the bathroom, he shut the door behind him and leaned back against it with a sigh. Boyfriends for now pretty much said it all. He probably shouldn’t have been surprised. These were wild circumstances. There was nothing wrong with Steve wanting to take a bit of comfort where he could find it. And if Tony had been hoping for something more, that could stay between him and the bathroom walls. 

***

They didn’t talk about it again, at least not in so many words, but they talked about everything else under the sun and that was somehow even better. Steve loved sex with Tony, really truly did. Just a look from the other man could set him shivering, heat spiking up and down his spine. Tony seemed to take special delight in finding all the ways he could make Steve fall apart, surprising him over and over again. Steve had all but given up his own bedroom, spending his nights with Tony instead and they’d spend hours lying there sometimes, Steve splayed out and feeling like he was slowly going out of his mind as Tony kissed and touched and teased every square inch of his body. 

But afterwards, when Steve had come more times than he’d thought possible, when Tony’d had his fill and would slide off Steve to stretch out beside him instead, for Steve that was almost better than the sex. They’d talk well into the early hours of the morning. Steve had told Tony how desperately lonely he’d been for the past five years, how nothing he’d done seemed to ease that ache inside him. Tony talked about Morgan, how completely he missed her, telling story after story about how brilliant she was already, putting him to shame, but also how creative and sweet and kind. He’d sound awed when he talked about her, which had led to confessions about how his own father had been. Steve had been horrified, hands tightening around Tony like he could somehow make up for it. And then next night, when he told Tony how proud he was of him for letting the bullshit die with Howard, that even from the brief interaction he’d witnessed, he could tell Tony was an amazing father, Tony hadn’t bothered to hide the way he’d choked up a little. 

Nothing was off the table (except, perhaps, their exact feelings for each other, but neither of them brought it up so it was fine), the darkness, and the heat, and the fact that they were the only two here who could understand their situation making it easy for secrets to spill out. Maybe it was just the fact that they were caught in a bit of a limbo, that deep down Steve knew that nothing they did here would really matter once they got back to their proper point in time. But his time with Tony was easing something inside him that he hadn’t even realized was aching, was making him feel whole again. He wanted to get back, to make things right, of course he did. He just also couldn’t help thinking that he wouldn’t mind being stuck here with Tony just a little longer. 

They slowly settled into even more of a routine than they’d had before. They ate dinner together every night, talked about their day before they’d slink off to bed together. Some nights they wouldn’t even do anything, just sprawl out on the bed, touching despite the heat until they drifted off to sleep. They went grocery shopping together once a week, and one day Tony came home with a second hand badminton net that he’d found somewhere. Steve had never played badminton, but they set the net up anyway, and Tony had showed him how to play. There were more barbecues, with the guys from Tony’s work, mostly, but there were a couple for the paper that Steve worked at too. Nobody seemed to look askance at Steve bringing along his roommate. Maybe it was just an extension of fighting side-by-side for so long, but having Tony with him here just felt right in some kind of visceral way that Steve couldn’t put a name to but that he loved anyway. 

***

Steve was once again going over the Fort LeHigh plans that they had managed to cobble together, when the front door slammed open. “STEVE!” Tony hollered at the top of his lungs. 

“I’m right here,” Steve answered, turning to meet Tony as he heard him rush up the hall. “What’s wrong?” 

But even as he asked, Tony came into view, an enormous smile on his face, and it was pretty clear that there was nothing at all wrong. 

“What?” he asked again, because there still had to be a reason that Tony was home hours early, grinning like an idiot. 

“I can’t believe I forgot,” Tony told him. “Do you know what tonight is?” he added, even though he knew perfectly well that Steve didn’t. “Planet of the Apes comes out. In theatres!” 

Steve blinked at him. “Is that all?” 

“Is that all?” Tony repeated incredulously. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.” 

Steve cracked then, laughing. “Tony, you’ve seen that movie more than a hundred times. Which I know because you’ve made me watch it a hundred times.” 

“Yeah, but this is different,” Tony insisted. “It’ll be in theatres, Steve.”

“You’ve done that before, too,” Steve pointed out. “Remember? That 45th anniversary theatre showing or whatever? I distinctly recall you and Colonel Rhodes talking about it.” 

Tony just shook his head. “It’s different,” he said again, making a face at Steve. “Just hurry up and get dressed, you damn dirty ape.” He waggled his eyebrows, making a show of staring at Steve’s bare chest; he hadn’t bothered getting redressed after his run. “I’m taking you out.” 

And really, Steve was helpless to resist that thrilled look on Tony’s face. And even though he had to pinch Tony several times to keep him from whispering the lines along with the characters, it was a very enjoyable evening. They’d sat at the back of the theatre, Tony claiming it was because Steve would block the view for whatever poor asshole got stuck sitting behind them, but halfway through the movie, when their shared popcorn was gone, he curled his greasy fingers with Steve’s, rested their joined hands on Steve’s knee, and snuggled into him a little, resting his head against Steve’s shoulder. He could smell the faint, pleasant scent of Tony’s shampoo, and couldn’t resist turning his head a little to press his face against the soft curls of his hair. He pressed a soft kiss against Tony’s scalp and in return received a soft little content sigh from Tony. 

Abruptly Steve realized that, for all the activities they’d done together, they hadn’t been on an actual proper date before -- and that’s what this was, whatever Tony’s original intentions had been in dragging him out. 

Settling a little more comfortably against Tony’s side, Steve decided that was something he was going to fix immediately. 

So the next morning, after Tony had made their customary Saturday morning pancakes, and they were sitting around the kitchen table, pleasantly full and content, Steve curled his hand around Tony’s. “So listen,” he said, doing his best to ignore the way Tony gave his hand a heated look before glancing up to meet his eyes. “I’ve been thinking, and we’re under a lot of stress, with working and trying to find a way out of here and everything.” Admittedly, it wasn’t his best excuse; the stress was real, but he felt a step removed from it, and was pretty sure Tony did too. Even from a purely business perspective (if you could consider the Avengers a business), this had definitely become the easiest mission he’d ever been on. Tony seemed to agree, giving him a mildly skeptical look but gesturing for him to continue. “So I was thinking that it probably wouldn’t hurt for us to plan to take a break regularly,” he said, feeling his cheeks starting to glow. “And I had a really fun time last night, so I was wondering if you’d let me take you out tonight? Repay the favour?” he added, all in a rush. 

Tony tilted his head at him, curiously, and then he was beaming bright and wide. “Steve. Are you asking me out on a date?” 

Steve shrugged, but he was helpless not to return Tony’s brilliant smile. “I mean, I guess?” 

And just like that, Saturday night date night was born. 

Steve knew he shouldn’t get too complacent, that getting used to this was only going to end in heartbreak. Tony had said this was whatever they needed it be, just whatever it took to get them through. The implication was pretty clear that once they got back home -- and they would, eventually, Steve had to believe that or else what were they even doing anymore -- things would go back to something like normal. He probably wasn’t doing himself any favors, giving himself this glimpse of what they could really have. But he knew, deep down, that he wasn’t going to be able to forget it either way, so he figured he might as well enjoy it now. 

***

Tony actually happened to think vegetables were delicious. But there was something about the very specific look of consternation that Steve would get every time he found another box of poptarts or gummy candies or whatever hidden in the cart that Tony couldn’t get enough of. He was feeling punchy today for some reason, snickering to himself with everything he managed to slide into without Steve noticing. There was a good chance that Steve was just humoring him, since Tony couldn’t imagine anyone actually sneaking something past the man, but then again he’d worked with the STRIKE team for almost a full year without realizing they were literal Nazis, so who knew? Either way, he was having a stupid amount of fun with it. 

“Oh my god,” Steve groaned as he realized that under the loaves of bread and packages of pasta, Tony had managed to fill the entire bottom of the cart with bags of jumbo marshmallows. “You are literally five years old,” he added. 

Tony just shrugged, giving Steve a sugar sweet smile, and Steve fought back his own laughter. 

“Make you a deal,” he offered. “You can keep three bags of marshmallows if you stop adding in everything else you see.”  

“Oooh.” Tony eyed him; he didn’t actually care about the sweets, but tormenting Steve was its own brand of delightful, especially now, when Steve took it as the gentle teasing it was meant to be, didn’t get his back up about it. “Throw in some chocolate and graham crackers, and you’ve got yourself a deal.” 

Steve stared blankly back at him. “What do you need graham crackers and chocolate for?” 

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Tony hissed. “Are you trying to tell me you don’t know what s’mores are?” 

Steve didn’t even last a full second before he was breaking, snickering to himself. “You’re so gullible sometimes. I may not have ever had them, but I do know what a s’more is, Tony.” 

Tony frowned, tilting his head before shaking. “Okay, nope, I give. I can’t tell -- are you telling the truth, or are you still fucking with me?” 

“The… Truth?” 

“You’ve really, honestly never had a s’more before? How is that even possible??” 

Steve gave him a fond eye roll, even as he added the extra ingredients to the cart. “Contrary to what you seem to think, I wasn’t ever actually a boy scout. There weren’t any camping trips in 1930s Brooklyn. Where do you think I would have melted the marshmallows? On the heater? Admittedly, I spent a lot of time in the woods during the war. But that wasn’t exactly a romp with campfires and ghost stories, what with the whole hiding from the Nazis and Hydra thing.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Tony muttered. “But after that? You’ve really never had s’mores since? With the team or something? Nat seems like she’d enjoy a good s’more.” 

Steve just shrugged. “Don’t know what to tell you. Never had ‘em.” 

“Well, that changes tonight, Rogers. We’re having a bonfire.” 

Tony had added three packs of hot dogs to the cart -- Steve would eat them, he knew -- and after they got home, relegated him to the kitchen while he got everything set up in the yard. Steve had looked skeptical, but when Tony finally called him out to where he had a bonfire burning brightly and a blanket spread out on the ground (because some of us have minor grass allergies, Steven), he looked impressed. 

“Wow. Tony, this is… Really nice.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to sound so surprised,” he grumbled, offsetting his complaint by wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist and kissing him on the cheek. 

“No, I’m not,” Steve said, holding Tony against him a moment longer when he started to pull away. “You just… Don’t really seem like the camping type,” he added tactfully. 

Tony snorted. “I’ve camped! … Once… Okay, a camper I am not. But Rhodey and I used to have bonfires on the beach when we were at MIT, and I was the designated fire starter. And when I was a kid, Jarvis used to let me help set up the fireplaces in the old house. I don’t know why, that was one of my favourite things.” He hummed, quiet and contemplative for a moment, and then pulled away to grab a package of hot dogs, slamming them into Steve’s chest. “Now grab a stick, Rogers, and start roasting.” 

They sat out there for hours, cooking, and talking, and laughing. The sun had faded and the stars had come out long before Tony pulled out the s’mores ingredients, the two of them getting in a sticky mess as they squashed together the sweet treats. 

“So?” Tony asked when they were full and satiated and sitting back on the blanket. He arched an eyebrow at Steve. “What’s the s’more verdict, Captain Handsome?” 

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know, I think they’re kind of overrated. I prefer the marshmallows alone,” he told him, popping one of said marshmallows, unroasted, into his mouth. 

Tony blinked at him. “Overrated?” he repeated incredulously. Then he saw the way that Steve was grinning at him, lips twitching up in a smirk. “You are such a troll,” he grumbled. “I’ll show you overrated.” Without any further warning, he launched himself at Steve, feeling a little gratified at the almost inaudible grunt that Steve made as he took his weight. He knew Steve could take him easily, especially when he didn’t even have an Iron Man suit, but Steve pretended otherwise for a minute, letting Tony knock him back as the two of them rolled around on the blanket and then into the grass, each trying to get the upper hand. 

It didn’t take long before their movements shifted, less wrestling, more sliding up against each other with purpose. Tony could feel his cock thickening in his pants, sparks of pleasure going through him every time Steve’s hand would slide over his skin just right. He shifted a leg, getting it between Steve’s knees, and when he pressed up he could feel Steve hot and hard against him, the feeling made better by the sharp, needy little gasp that he made in response. They ended up with Tony spread out on top of Steve, the two of them rubbing off against each other as they shifted and rolled in the grass, stifling their noises against each other’s skin so the neighbours wouldn’t hear. Tony had his hand shoved down Steve’s pants, jerking him off with quick, sharp motions, and his face buried in Steve’s neck. He could smell wood smoke in his hair, and when he pulled back a little, he could see the starlight reflected in his eyes before they clenched shut as Steve came over his hand. Steve lay there for a moment, panting, and Tony took a moment to look him over in the dim light from the fire before Steve pulled himself back into awareness to roll Tony over onto his back and pay him back in kind. 

It was up there with some of Tony’s best memories.

He should have known it wouldn’t last. 

***

They were at the grocery store again, goofing off and being idiots, probably laughing too loud, when all of a sudden Steve froze, going pale. Before Tony could ask him what was wrong, he was grabbing Tony’s arm and dragging him around the corner and down an aisle, leaving their half-filled cart abandoned in front of the cereal. 

“Steve, what?” Tony finally managed to hiss as Steve pulled him past the baking supplies and then zig-zagged ridiculously through the produce section. He half expected Yakety Sax to start playing over the loudspeaker.

“I just… I saw someone I recognized. Like from the forties recognized,” Steve answered vaguely, aiming for the front door. 

“Do you think they’d recognize you?” Tony asked a little stupidly, although his behaviour made the answer pretty obvious.

“Uh, yeahhhh,” Steve answered anyway. “I think so.” 

They made it out of the building without being caught though, Steve looking over his shoulder as they headed down the street. He made Tony cross the road, turning down a side street they wouldn’t normally take, and he was just breathing a sigh of relief when they rounded the corner and were met with Peggy, standing there waiting for them with a furious expression on her face. 

For a long moment everything went almost comically still, Peggy and Steve standing frozen, staring at each other, Tony looking back and forth between them in a mild state of shock. Then the anger seemed to fade out of Peggy all at once, shoulders sagging a little as she took a half step forward, making an abortive gesture like she was going to touch Steve’s chest before she remembered herself. 

“It is you,” she breathed. 

Steve opened his mouth to say something, anything, but before he had the chance he was interrupted by Tony, still staring at Peggy with wide eyes. “Aunt Peggy?!” he blurted out, because he knew Peggy had cofounded SHIELD, and he knew she had worked with his Dad, he just somehow hadn’t expected her to be here, looking almost exactly as he remembered her from when she’d come visit when he was growing up. She used to spend hours sitting with him, listening patiently as he explained the workings of all his machines and inventions. She’d always encouraged him, and he found himself getting choked up seeing her now.

And then he glanced over at Steve, saw the look on his face as he stared back at her, and Tony felt his heart sink a little.  

Peggy had turned sharp eyes on Tony at his outburst, looking him over, but now she looked back to Steve and without hesitation poked him square in the chest. “Explain,” she told him. “How are you possibly here? And why is this man who looks exactly like Maria Stark calling me ‘aunt?’”

Tony would never fully understand how, but somehow Steve managed to convince Peggy to come back to their place. And then he sat her down, and told her everything. How he’d been found in the ice, how the avengers had formed, about Tony being her ‘nephew’ and also Iron Man, and then about Thanos, how they’d lost everything and were doing everything in their power to make up for it now. 

The one thing he didn’t mention, Tony couldn’t help noticing, was the relationship they’d developed over the last few months. 

Peggy took it far better than Tony would have expected. Although, he supposed, if she’d helped found SHIELD, she’d probably been dealing with far crazier shit than this for years. 

“So if I’m to understand correctly, you two are from the future. And you,” she turned to Tony here, “Are my godson. And you used Hank Pym’s… science experiment to figure out time travel and come back here and get that cube that Howard found in the ocean. To save the world.” She drew in a long breath as Tony and Steve both nodded, waiting for her to process the information. “God, Hank is going to be impossible to live with when he finds out,” she muttered. She drew in a deep breath, smoothing down her hair -- a move Tony remembered from when she’d try to keep her cool with Howard when he was a kid -- and then looked back over at Steve. “I take it you two are responsible for the breach a couple months back?” She didn’t wait for their confirmation, the question rhetorical. “Well, I suppose once again it’s up to me to clean up your messes, eh Captain?” 

The smile she gave Steve was a little dry, but fond and familiar in a way that made jealousy twist low in Tony’s stomach. But even worse was the way Steve smiled back at her, sheepish and full of so much history and love that it almost ached to see. For a moment Tony felt like he had disappeared from the room entirely, the two of them only having eyes for each other. Somehow Tony managed to act normal as Steve and Peggy made plans for when and where they’d meet and how they’d stay in contact, even though it felt like he was losing a little more of Steve with every word that passed between the two of them. And when Peggy had left, and Steve turned to him with the broadest grin Tony had ever seen, still looked awed and dazed and delighted in the wake of her presence, the smile Tony gave him in return was almost genuine. He waited until Steve had left the the kitchen, wandering down the hall for something, before he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes and whispered a very quiet, very heartfelt, “Fuck,” into the empty room. 

***

Tony wanted to go home. More than anything in the world he wanted to see Morgan again, missing his little girl a constant pit in the bottom of his stomach, even in his happiest moments. But being here with Steve was easy in a way his life had never been before, no stressors, no superheroing, no being recognized on the street… No end of the world barreling toward them faster than they could stop it. Now that they were close to going home, he couldn’t seem to appreciate the last few days they had here together, just he and Steve alone. They still talked, and fooled around, and did all the things they’d been doing before, but the time was passing in a blur. It didn’t help that Steve had been distracted since they’d found Peggy; more than once Tony had caught him staring into space with a soppy smile on his face. There was a growing feeling creeping through his stomach that he might be making the return trip solo. 

And then he was out of time entirely, the two of them meeting Peggy in some back alley for the hand off. It had, she assured them, gone off without a hitch, but that wasn’t a surprise. Peggy had always been strong and brilliant, confident and capable. On some level it probably should have been weird that he was jealous of his aunt, but mostly Tony was just resigned to the fact that this was it. Peggy and Steve were staring at each other again, couldn’t keep their eyes off of each other, and Tony felt like his heart was somewhere around his ankles. 

“I’ll, uh, I’ll let you two… Chat,” he mumbled, uncharacteristically awkward as he took the two briefcases that Peggy had brought and headed for the main road, forcing himself not to look back at them. 

In a weird twist of deja vu, he ended up sitting on the same bench where he’d found Steve on that first day, after everything had gone tits up. He sat there, staring off into space and thinking of a million things at once, and it hadn’t been a full half hour before a shadow passed over him and then Steve took a seat on the bench beside him, their thighs not quite touching. 

Steve was staring forward, maybe trying to figure out what Tony was looking at but he hadn’t spoken, so Tony didn’t either. Eventually, though, he couldn’t stand the silence any longer, clearing his throat. 

“You, uh… You don’t have to come back with me, Steve,” Tony told him, giving him an out. He felt Steve snap his gaze to him, heard him make a strangled sort of noise, but he narrowed his focus to a tree in the distance and kept going. “If you’re finally happy… We can do it without you. Probably. Maybe. I don’t know, we’ll figure it out. I know you’ve already sacrificed a lot, more than anyone ever should have to, really. You can be selfish, for once.” 

He turned to face Steve then, because he really didn’t want Steve to stay, but he needed him to know that he truly meant the words he was saying. He had fallen in love with Steve, and because of that he couldn’t bear to stand in his way. 

Steve was staring straight again, leaning forward with his elbows braced against his thighs, hands clasped together between his knees. He blew out a long breath, and Tony tensed, bracing himself. 

“You’re right. I am selfish, Tony. I’m real fucking selfish.” 

Tony bit down hard on his bottom lip; expecting it didn’t make it hurt any less. But then Steve was turning to face him, a shy, hopeful smile on his face offset by the determination in his eyes. 

“And no way in hell am I giving this up. Giving you up.” 

For a moment Tony was actually rendered speechless. “You… what?” 

Steve shrugged. “I’m in love with you, Tony. It’s as simple as that. And I know you said this was whatever we needed it to be, and maybe that means you don’t have the same kind of feelings, but --,”

“God no, are you kidding?” Tony burst out before he could even stop himself. “I was already half in love with you when I said that, and it’s just gotten... more since. I just… I know that extreme situations aren’t the most conducive to long-term relationships, and I didn’t want you to feel pressured, so…” 

He trailed off helplessly and Steve chanced a quick look around before darting in to kiss him. It was quick, because it was still a public place in 1970, but full of love despite that. When he pulled back, Tony shifted his hand to curl over top of Steve’s, squeezing tight. 

“What… What about Peggy?” 

Steve’s eyes were dancing. “What about her? She’s married, Tony, happily so. I just… I wanted to see first hand that she was okay, and she is, more than. She’s moved on, and… And so have I.” He grinned then. “She did tell me I was an idiot though, if I didn’t say anything to you because she’d never seen two people more obviously pining for each other. And uh, then she threatened that if I didn’t treat her godson right she’d be bringing me a wealth of pain.”

“Oh,” Tony said faintly, but he was laughing then too. “Well alright then.” He leaned in to give Steve one more quick kiss. “I love you, Steve,” he told him, because it seemed important that he say the actual words. “Now let’s go home and save the world. Again.” 

THREE DAYS LATER

Tony snapped back to consciousness all at once with a sharp gasp, blinking his eyes open. The first thing his gaze focused on was Pepper and Rhodey, standing at the foot of his bed with watery, relieved smiles, Pepper holding Morgan in her arms.

“Daddy!” she shrieked. “You’re up!” She started wriggling frantically, attempting to leap onto the bed and making Pepper wince. 

“Morgan, sweetie, remember how we talked about how you have to be careful with Daddy for a bit?” 

“I don’t know.” And that was Steve’s voice, sounding gruff, but when Tony snapped his head up to see him leaning against the doorway, he was beaming brightly and looking just a little smug. “I think he can take it.” 

After solemn promises from Morgan that she would be careful, Pepper finally set her down and Morgan scrambled up on the bed beside him. With strength that he knew he shouldn’t have had, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight enough that Morgan protested a little. She smelled fresh and clean and like her apple honey shampoo, and it was quite possibly the best thing that Tony had ever smelled. God, he had missed her so much. 

Morgan settled onto the bed beside him, telling him stories about everything he’d missed the past few days, everything she’d been doing with Uncle Happy. Tony did his best to follow along in his shell-shocked state, because the last thing he remembered was snapping his fingers, all of the infinity stones in his hand, and he was pretty sure that meant he wasn’t supposed to be here now. 

Eventually it was decided that Tony should get some rest, and so with a final, clinging hug from Morgan, Pepper escorted her gently off the bed. Her hands shook a little as she closed them around Tony’s, leaning in close to place a soft kiss against his cheek. 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered softly, a slight tremor in her voice. 

They headed for the door but Rhodey lingered a second longer to lean in and give Tony a hug. “Gotta stop doing this to me, man,” he told him, and Tony could hear the tears in his voice, felt his own throat close up as he hugged Rhodey as tight as he could manage. 

“I know,” he mumbled, burying his face against his neck. “I’m sorry.” 

Rhodey pulled back just a little, enough so he could meet his eyes and give him a pointed look. “And sometime soon,” he added, “You are going to sit down and tell me exactly what the hell happened between you and Rogers while you were getting the Tesseract.” 

Then he was moving away, leading Pepper and Morgan out the door with a hand on the small of Pepper’s back. Steve had moved out of the way to let them pass into the hall, but once they were gone he moved back into the room, coming to sit on the side of Tony’s bed now that it was just the two of them. For a long moment they just stared at each other and then Tony shook his head. 

“Steve… What did you do?” 

Steve shrugged, feigning casual. “Funny thing about spending so much time together. I knew exactly what you were planning with the stones. So I just stepped in and… Helped.” 

Tony stared back at him incredulously, still half feeling like he was dreaming. “Right,” he said, voice a little faint. “Okay. And we’re alive and healthy and whole… How?” 

“Uh, Carol brought a special something from somewhere. I didn’t catch the details; I was pretty fucked up for a bit too. But…” He gave Tony his best innocent, hopeful smile. “As you can see it did the trick.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Tony muttered. Then he was lunging forward, practically crawling into Steve’s lap in his haste to kiss him. Steve took his weight easily, pulling Tony the rest of the way toward him as he wrapped his arms around his back, mumbling soothing words and stroking a hand over Tony’s spine. “You absolute idiot,” Tony gasped, allowing himself the comfort as he buried his face in Steve’s neck. “You could have been killed too. What the fuck were you thinking?” 

Steve huffed out a laugh, but his voice was rough and thick when he spoke. “I thought I told you, Tony. I’m real fucking selfish.” He pulled Tony back so he could see his face, see how absolutely serious he was. “No way in hell am I giving you up.”

@tonystarkbingo @not-close-to-straight

[lemonz-and-limez]

The Anniversary Pandemic Alignment

A/N: CEO of turning something in last minute 😬 I almost didn't write anything, but this popped into my head and I couldn't resist. Please enjoy my contribution to FluffCrawlspace

It was not how she pictured spending their 10th anniversary.

Stuck at home while a pandemic was quite literally trying to tear the world apart. Amy was sure Sheldon would try to make up for it once things started opening up again in California, but that didn't appear to be happening anytime soon. It was okay, she figured, spending the day at home with her husband was still a good way to celebrate

She knew Sheldon had something big planned, the way that the payments dropped so quickly on their credit cards told her as much. Still, he never disclosed what it was that he had planned, and she assumed she would never find out. Which was probably better, nothing to be sad over losing.

The days leading up to their anniversary were lighthearted. For the first time since March, Sheldon didn't appear to be stressed or overwhelmed about the current state of the world. He was just more than happy to spend time with her. He even accompanied her to restock on groceries, even though she knew he hated going anywhere. It had been an excursion, yes, but the gesture meant more than his actual attitude towards being out.

On the morning of the 24th, he wasn't in bed when she woke up. Odd, but not uncommon. He often got out of bed before her anyway. She just expected him to be there considering what day it was.

Sheldon didn't leave her wondering for long; he appeared in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee moments after turned off her alarm. "I made us breakfast," he explained as he handed her the mug. "But anniversary or not, we're still not eating in bed." He winked at her before returning to the living room.

Amy chuckled; some things would never change. She took a sip of her coffee, which Sheldon had made perfectly, and set it down on the nightstand. Reaching for her glasses, she smiled fondly at the functional MRI he'd given her for her birthday. It may have seemed like a dumb gift to other people, but to her, it meant a lot of things. The biggest way was that it showed her, with biology, that he loved her. And nobody could take that away from her.

Walking into the main room of their apartment was like any other day. The breakfast was not extravagant, just like she expected. Supplies were still limited, so he had to do his best with what they had. Just enough for the two of them. He'd opted to make the waffle batter from scratch rather than the box mix like they usually did. Instead of cooking extra links of sausage, he only made enough for both of them to have two.

Like usual, they ate their breakfast, enjoying each other's companionship. Discussing how difficult it was to work at home, bantering over a TV show they mutually enjoyed, even playing a few rounds of Counterfactuals.

It was enough to prove that she didn't need some grand gesture or big present to celebrate their 10 years together. All she wanted was to bring their relationship back to the basics and enjoy his company. After all, they wouldn't have made it this far without the strong foundation of friendship they had built.

Sheldon insisted on doing presents next. That was one thing they had agreed upon before the quarantine that was still manageable. But Sheldon seemed giddy as they sat down on the couch. Almost too giddy.

"Why don't I go first," he offered, his voice giving away his palpable excitement.

Amy nodded in agreement. "Alright."

He reached down and grabbed a box from the little shelf of their coffee table. Amy wondered how he managed to hide it in plain sight. Upon closer inspection of the item, however, it became obvious. There was superhero stuff lying all over her apartment, what was one more tin can. A Wonder Woman tin can to be precise.

She looked at him quizzically. "A superhero gift?" She asked, her fingers running over the textured lid.

"The real present is inside, but the traditional symbol for a 10th anniversary is tin or aluminum. It seemed fitting to wrap your gift in it." He told her with a shrug.

'Of course!' she thought. Sheldon was not one to forgo tradition after all, and scotch tape did still give him the heebie-jeebies. Amy smiled down at the lifeless face of Wonder Woman beaming up at her. There is no way Sheldon is getting this box back, it was hers now.

She could feel his eyes bearing down on her as she popped the lid off. What could he possibly have gotten her that made him this excited? He hated gift-giving after all.

She had no idea what she was expecting, but it certainly was not what she lifted up and out of the box. There were words on the cover and illustrations that she didn't recognize, but it looked and felt familiar somehow. Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt, she smiled at him and asked: "What is this?"

His response came like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's our comic book."

"Our?" she asked.

"Read the title," he told her.

Amy inspected the comic closer this time. Her heart jumped into her throat when she read the words printed across the cover.

The Adventures of Sheldon and Amy

And there they were, right on the front, drawn in comic book style.

She was speechless. "Did you- how- how did you do this?" Amy stuttered, gently flipping through the pages now. Everything was inside. From their first meeting at the coffee shop to their unfortunate breakup to their wedding officiated by Mark Hamill.

It was so unequivocally perfect.

"I commissioned Stuart for the artwork," He explained. "I approached him after we got back from Sweden about it. He immediately agreed when he saw how much I was willing to pay him." Sheldon paused for a moment. "Anyway, I wrote it out for him, and he illustrated it. I am quite pleased with the way it came out."

Amy put a hand over her own heart. Did he have any idea how much this meant to her? It captured them perfectly. His love of comic books and her love of literature and storytelling.

Tears brimmed in her eyes now. "Sheldon, I love it, thank you," she whispered, mirroring the words she spoke when he'd given her the MRI.

He scooted close to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You're welcome," he said, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I'm glad you love it."

"Oh, Sheldon, this is the most beautiful gift you've ever given me!" She exclaimed.

"Pretty sure you said the same thing Valentine's Day 2013 when I gave you my emergency contact information," he smirked before continuing. "That account is in there by the way," he told her, gesturing to the comic book sitting in her lap.

Her face hurt from smiling so much, but she didn't care. She really did hit the jackpot on the husband lottery.

"I mean it, Sheldon. You and Stuart put so much effort into this, and I really appreciate it… It's beautiful." She didn't need to say anything else, and she didn't want to. Turning her head, she pulled his down for a kiss. It was perhaps the purest way for them to express their feelings towards one another, and that was all that mattered.

10 years of ups and downs. Highs and lows. In Sheldon's words: "the best love story within their social circle." And now it was written down, something for them to show their future children. Amy's heart bled with love for him.

She settled into the crook of his arm when he sat in the corner of the couch. Just like they had all those years ago before they were even dating. She rested her head against his chest as they flipped through their comic book. His fingers twisted in her short hair, a new habit he appeared to have grown quite fond of.

She looked at him with wonder as he told her tidbits about the comic's creation and the process of making it with Stuart. Was the comic book one of the best gifts he's ever gotten her? Yes. But it wasn't her greatest gift. No, that title belonged to him. He was her greatest gift. He had been for 10 years.

So, it was not how she pictured spending their 10th anniversary. Cuddling with her husband on their couch, recounting all the fond memories they have made.

No, this was the perfect way to celebrate.

Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think :)

[katefiction]

Yours (smut)

by katefiction (Maria) / 2013. Prompt based on the night of dinner at Lou Lou’s 

Disclaimer from Maria: I never wanted my adult stories to see the light of day again! But I’ve been told some people want to read them. I want to make clear that I’m absolutely mortified with embarrassment at these adult fictions. They make me cringe into the depths of my soul and I think the sex scenes and dirty talk are awful. But there we go. Enjoy!

Actions speak louder than words, they say. A grand gesture proclaiming someone’s love for you, for instance. But it is the smallest actions that tells us the most, a look, or a flinch.

It was a flinch that she noticed, that nobody else could see.

She placed her hand on his knee, ‘we should go soon’, she said close to his ear.

In a second, a mili-second even, the muscles in his leg contracted, followed by the rest of his body, stiffening at her touch.

‘Yep’ he said, his eyes fixed on the wall, on the table, on anything but her.

The pictures would be seen all over the world, ‘Will and Kate on date night’, the headlines would say. Little would they know of the tension pulsating underneath.

‘You don’t have to manhandle me into the car!’, Kate  said, clipping in her seat belt.

She could hear him exhaling from his nose. ’Sorry for trying to take care of you, I won’t bother next time’.

‘Good. Don’t.’

William knew better than to retaliate. Since they’d returned from the Far East three weeks before, this had been a daily occurrence. Who would take the first swipe? Who would start the petty fight that would punctuate their days? It was her mostly, and it was always the same.

Kate would reach out to William, piling all her affection on him, and he, inevitably, would rebuff her attempts, causing her to punish him later.

Back at their cottage after a car ride spent in silence, Kate kicked her black heels off next to the door, leaving them messily out of place. William was forever tripping over her shoes and despaired that she keep them tidy. He knew she had done it to annoy him, another small action of many to come that would tell him Kate was hurting from his latest rejection.

‘You can sleep in the spare room’, she snapped, taking off her coat.

‘No I can’t', he replied childishly.

They stared at each other from opposite sides of the room, waiting to see who would break first.

‘You can’t bear to be next to me, so you can sleep in there’, she said plainly.

William grit his teeth, feeling his patience wearing, ‘don’t put words into my mouth’.

‘I don’t need to, you haven’t touched me in weeks’. Her eyes began to well in frustration.

‘That doesn’t mean I don’t want to.’ It was true, William was desperate to be close to his wife again.

‘You have to stop punishing me, I didn’t know the photographer was there Will!’

The tears began to fall freely from her eyes. William had supported and comforted her when they’d found out pictures had been taken of Kate topless in France, but as soon as they had come home, he had become distant and cold.

He watched her face becoming red, the pain pouring out in her shaking limbs.

Breaking through the invisible barrier in  the room, her reached out his hand and stroked her wet cheek.

‘I don’t blame you, I blame me. Because of me, every pervert in this country has seen your body.’

‘What does it matter?! It’s not like they’ve had sex with me!’

William’s brow creased at the thought of Kate with  someone else. ‘There was a time when you were just mine, ever since we got married, everyone thinks they own you. And now this. What’s left for me?’

Kate placed her hands on his stomach. ‘Everything. They will never have me, do you understand? I will always be yours.’

‘I just wanted to take care of you’, he said, looking at her feet.

‘So…take care of me.’

He watched as her feet arched, rising onto her tiptoes. Her soft hair brushed against his jaw, before her lips landed deliberately on his, her fingertips slipping between the gaps in his shirt, warming the cold skin on his stomach.

In a second, she was against the wall. William’s hands were running all over her body desperately. In surrender, Kate placed both of her hands flat against the wall, giving him licence to have her completely. They kissed relentlessly, Kate only catching her breath when William devoured her neck or her face, tasting the wet salty tears on his tongue. He was determined to wipe them away.

His hands crawled up the outside of her thighs, grazing slowly over the flesh of her butt. His fingers grappled at her french knickers, pulling them down so she could feel the soft fabric of her dress all over her bare skin.

‘Come here’, William said, holding her by her waist and leading her to the couch as if he’d just discovered her. He removed his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and got onto his knees.

Kate opened her legs as he kissed the inside of her legs, pushing up her dress as his lips inched closer and closer to where she was longing for him to touch her.

‘Lie back’, he ordered.

She lay back on the couch willingly, her hips and legs elevated by the arm rest. She widened her legs, desperate to show him how much her body was craving his.

His tongue flicked the inside of her leg. ‘Tell me again.’

‘Mmm?’, she mumbled.

‘Tell me you’re mine.’

He was so close now that she could feel his breath on her folds. ‘I am’, she breathed. ‘I always will be,’

The tip of William’s thumb ran slickly over her slit, making her hips buck of the couch.

‘Easy now’, he teased as finally his lips were on her, expertly searching her. William dragged the flat of his tongue repeatedly over her wet lips and up to her clit. Now that he finally had her again, he intended to devour her.

Kate struggled to keep her composure, moans of desire and relief escaping from her as she looked up to see William’s head buried deep within her legs.

The only other sound was that of his mouth on her, working hard and fast. She placed a hand on his head, her fingers tangling in his hair, ‘don’t stop…’

Finally, he emerged, his face hot and red. She knew he would want to watch her as he gave her an orgasm. Kate swung her legs over the armrest and pulled her dress over her head. William sat down beside her and found the crook of her neck once more, tickling it gently with his mouth. His hands explored her and quickly unclasped her bra, taking both of her breasts in his hands, feeling her hard nipples digging into his palms.

She was fully naked now, every pore erect in anticipation. She sat up onto her knees on the couch, ‘baby….’ she said sweetly. ‘I need you now.’

It frustrated her that he could always get her naked and totally ready before he’d even removed his shirt. She began to kiss his neck, her hand pulling at his belt.

William’s hand moved to her butt, stroking it gently, curving lower until he could feel her wetness. Slowly, yet assured, his long middle finger entered her.

‘Oh my…’, Kate gasped, pulling away from his neck.

He pulled his finger out before sliding it in again.

‘Will….’

He could feel her tighten around his finger, and watched with pleasure as she leaned on his knees for support. Her moans were growing louder by the second. Eventually, gaining her composure, Kate took hold of his face, kissing him fiercely.

He removed his finger to let her sit up and wrap her legs around his waist as he removed everything from the waist down, leaving him in just his shirt.

He slid two fingers back into her as Kate played with his rising penis.

‘Promise me you’ll only ever let me do this to you’, William said coarsely, his thumb brushing her clit as his fingers teased her insides.

‘Of course baby…of course’. She kissed him gently on the lips.

‘And you’ll only ever let me fuck you’.

Any other time, William’s language would’ve made Kate flinch, but at that moment it sent the blood rushing through her body and cum dripping down William’s fingers.

She held his gaze. ‘I’m yours’.

It was enough.

William took her by the waist, leaving a sticky, wet trail on her hot skin. She lay back, her head resting on the arm rest and William maneuvered on top of her, placing the tip of his penis at her lips.

He kissed her slowly and deeply, until at last, after three agonizing weeks, he pushed deep inside her.

William let out a low groan as he did, feeling the tight, warm, wetness envelop him. Kate ran her hands under his shirt and over his butt, willing him to go deeper.

And so he did, reaching her very core. She arched her back in approval, ‘more…’, she whispered.

William pulled out of her, only to slide back in again repeatedly as he watched her face glow with sweat and excitement.

Faster he went until he felt her nails dig into his lower back, telling him she was close.

He pushed his pelvis onto her clit, rubbing it hard.

A burst exploded through Kate’s body, rippling up and down forcefully. Her head dropped back over the arm the arm rest as she screamed in satisfaction.

It was only in the after shock that she noticed William’s panting breath on her neck, still delving in and out of her.

She raised her head to his ear. ‘I love you.’

William buried his face into her neck, taking in her scent. The fullness of his heaving, thumping heart powered to his penis, sending shots of cum in to Kate, again and again, until he was drained.

‘I love you too.’

Later, on the couch, where they lay, their skin stuck together, Kate said, ‘you didn’t wear a condom’.

‘Oh yeh…well we did talk about trying when we came home…’

Kate smiled. ‘So that was our first try?’

‘First of many.’

[poorboypictures]

Major America: Ch. 1

Jordon Wilkinson was seven years old when he first learned of Captain America; he and his siblings were told by their grandfather of the time he fought beside Captain America and Bucky in World War II. All were enthralled, but none more than Jordon himself. Jordon began reading all he could about the Captain’s escapades before and during the war, learning his origin, his identity, and his disappearance; taking the hero to heart, Jordon stood up for those who couldn’t stand for themselves throughout his life, even joining the military after the Twin Towers fell, serving seven years before a hip injury took him out of action permanently. In 2012, Captain America resurfaced and Jordon was thrilled to have him as a moral standard in the country again, only to notice a change in the hero over the years.

***

2021, nine years after Captain America was freed from the ice; Major Jordon Wilkinson sits in a security office picking at his spaghetti and meatball lunch, staring intently in thought. Wally Gertz, his partner, is fidgeting with a Rubik’s Cube keychain with his feet up.

“Something wrong?” Wally asks.

Jordon blinks a few times and looks over at Wally. “Hmm?”

“Lunch ended ten minutes ago and usually you finish in five minutes just to keep watch on the feed.”

“No, I just have a lot on my mind.” Jordon takes a bite of his lunch as Wally puts away the cube.

“We’ve been working the same shift together for three years, Jordon; I would think I can read you well enough.”

Jordon sighs and pushes his lunch away before leaning back in his chair.

“You know the phrase ‘never meet your heroes’?”

Wally takes his feet off of the desk and leans forward. “You met him? You met Captain America?” He asks, eyes wide.

Jordon slowly nods. “The saying is true. At least, it wouldn’t have been if I met him when he came out of the ice. He’s changed and I think society was what did it; a man out of time, trying to keep up with the seventy years he missed, and I believe it corrupted him.”

“Sounds plausible; society is a bit of a mess these days.” He straightens his hat. “It’s a shame someone can’t just grab the shield and say ‘I’m the Captain now’.”

Jordon stops completely, an idea forming.

***

Later that day; Jordon is in his apartment on his computer, looking for a shield.

“The shield is the easy part.” He says to himself. “It’s the costume that will be hard to get; how am I going to get an extra thousand dollars for an accurate costume?”

He pauses as something dawns on him.

“Hang on…”

He gets up, grabs his phone, and calls someone as he sits back down at the computer.

“Hello?” Georgie Berke answers the phone.

“Georgie, it’s me, Jordon.”

“Hey, Jordy! How are you doing? How was your nephew’s birthday?”

“Loud, and disruptive, but I love him, so I didn’t leave. So, hey, I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“How does one get an accurate costume?”

“Jordy.” She says teasingly. “Are you getting into cosplay?”

“Georgie, I’m 43 years old, I don’t do cosplay.”

“I’m 37, Jordy, what’s your point?”

“My point is-.” He says with a tad of frustration. “I want an accurate costume and I would like to know how to get one for a good price.”

“Weeelll… if you had an extra small fortune to spend on one you could do that.”

“Nope.” Jordon shakes his head. “I have bills to pay.”

“Then you could make a costume with your own twist, I’ve seen plenty of cosplayers use this method to save a buck without having to get a cheaply made costume.”

“That sounds doable. Thanks.”

“May I ask what exactly this is for?”

“… No. Bye.”

He hangs up, opens a new tab, and begins searching for his costume-with-a-twist.

***

One week later; Jordon is in his apartment listening to a police scanner app on his phone as he peals masking tape off of the recently painted heater shield; just as Jordon finishes taking the tape off, dispatch warns of an attempted robbery at a nearby bank.

“That’s a mile from here…” Jordon says to himself as he looks at his partly assembled costume on the couch; he looks at the shield and back to the couch, wondering whether he should go without a complete costume.

Jordon sighs and quickly puts the costume on, wearing the shield on his back like a backpack; he jumps down the fire escape and onto a red 2013 Harley-Davidson Breakout, tearing out of the alley way and down the street.

Literally a minute later, Jordon pulls into the alley next to the bank and walks into the rear entrance to hear two men trying to break into the safety deposit boxes; he sneaks up behind them, pulls out his gun, pistol-whips one crook, knocking him out, and knocks out the other with his shield, only for the resounding “clang!” to catch the attention of the crook standing guard at the other side of the room.

The crook shouts at Jordon. “HEY!”

Before Jordon can turn around and shield himself, the gunman shoots him in the thigh and side; Jordon holds in a scream of pain as the gunman empties his magazine into the shield; as the gunman tries to quickly reload, Jordon sprints forward at full speed and punches the man out cold only to find himself in front of the remaining three robbers ready to fire on him.

“Oh, crap…”

Jordon ducks behind the shield as the three men fire at him, emptying their magazines; they stop to taunt him as they reload.

“You supposed to be Captain America or something, man?” One asks.

“He’s got a round shield, you imbecile!” Another taunts.

Jordon takes a deep breath, blocking out the pain from being shot, and pulls out his gun.

“Come on, just like in the military.” He whispers to himself

He stands up and hits the first two gunmen in the shoulder without effort, but he and the third gunman fire at the same time; Jordon hits the gunman in the shoulder same as before, and the gunman hits Jordon in the bicep. The gunman goes down and Jordon holsters his gun, his breathing shaky; he looks around at the employees and citizens getting up from the floor.

“Is everyone okay?” He asks, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

A man in a suit nods. “Yes, we’re fine, but you need a doctor.”

“I’ve suffered worse, trust me.” Jordon says as he turns to go back the way he came in.

“Wait!” A woman calls. “What do we call you?”

Jordon stops and looks back. “I’m… Major America.”

He heads to the back of the bank to leave.

***

Soon, in Georgie’s apartment, Georgie is watching the news as she sips from a cup of tea; the news anchor is reporting on the bank robbery when the footage of the fight is played on screen. Georgia spews her tea out, coughing.

“JORDY!?”

***

In Jordon’s apartment, Jordon is sitting at his dining table stitching up the wound on his side when his front door bursts open, causing Jordon to jump as Georgie bolts in.

“Why didn’t you tell me!?”

Jordon grabs some gauze and puts pressure on his wound that has begun bleeding again.

“I really need to lock my door more often.” Jordon says, wincing. “Can you pass me that whiskey?”

He points to the bottle on the kitchen counter and Georgie hands it to him, watching as he takes a swig.

“Why are you drinking while stitching yourself up?” Georgie asks. “How do you even know how to stitch a wound?”

Jordon continues stitching.

“Back in Iraq our field medic got hit by a frag grenade along with a couple others; the anesthetic was apparently hit and drained out so we raided the basement of a bombed bar and the medic taught me how to stitch a wound because I had the steadiest hands.” He takes another swig of whiskey. “Sometimes the old ways are the best.”

He finishes stitching the wound and places some gauze over it.

“Can you hold that while I wrap the wound?”

“Fine.” Georgie huffs as she holds the gauze in place. “Just tell me what you were thinking when you decided to do this?”

“What are you? My mother?” Jordon quips as he finishes wrapping his wound. “I’m a grown man who can make his own decisions.”

“Not when they get you nearly killed!”

Jordon stands up and puts his shirt back on.

“I fought for seven years in a country that hated my guts, I can stand to fight a few more in another country that hates my guts. Doesn’t matter what you say, Georgie, I won’t stop what I’ve started.”

Georgie sighs and crosses her arms in a huff.

“No, you’re right; you’re an adult.”

She notices his bloodied costume and picks up the sweater.

“Also, what kind of costume is this? A baby could do better!”

“The gloves and jacket hadn’t arrived yet, they’ll be here in a couple of days.”

Georgie looks at him, cocking an eyebrow.

“Are you… Are you cropping a jacket?”

“… Noooo…” Jordon answers reluctantly.

“What color is the jacket?”

“Blue…”

“The only way you’re going to get the look you want is by cropping the jacket.”

“Fine! Yes, I’m going to crop the jacket!” Jordon winces and holds his side after the defeated outburst bothers his wound. “Okay, back to small talk.” He says, pained.

Georgie picks up Jordon’s helmet and mask and gives it a once over.

“Where did you get this?” She asks.

“The helmet was my grandfathers; quick coat of paint and it was perfect.” He takes a swig of whiskey once again. “The mask I found at an antique shop; the tag said it was an aviator’s mask used in the war, but I’ve never seen one like this before.”

“And the shield?”

“Got that online, bought three and tested two of them on my uncles range to see what guns they could handle; surprisingly a lot. I’m going to have to buy more after a while though, I’ll need to make a budget for that.”

“You really are serious about this, aren’t you?” Georgie asks, pulling a chair up next to Jordon.

“I am.”

“Why, though? What on God’s green Earth would get you to do this?” She asks, genuinely concerned.

“America needs a hero who will truly fight for them, a hero who understands what it means to be the little guy, America needs an underdog; do you think Ironman understands what it’s like to live paycheck-to-paycheck, or if Thor understands what it’s like to get mugged and you can’t pay your rent by the end of the week?”

“Probably not…” Georgie says.

“We rely too much on them; yeah, they’ve saved the world, but we don’t need Black Widow to find a stolen car. I’m going to try to be like that spider guy in Manhattan; he sticks to one area and does it well.”

Georgie stands up and stretches.

“If you’re going to do something stupid, I may as well help: if you find any information you can’t track just call me and I’ll see if I can find anything for you; I’m pretty good with computers, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll see you Monday.”

Georgie smiles and leaves the apartment.

***

A couple days later; a young man is being mugged by two men in an alley way, getting beaten; someone clears their throat and the muggers stop and turn to look down the alley to see Major America wearing a complete costume.

“Alright, boys, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.” He says.

The muggers look at each other and pull their knives.

“Hard way it is.”

He raises his shield and jumps into the fray.

End.

The Incomplete costume.

The Complete Costume.

Don't judge the art too harshly, I know what I have to work on I don't need people pointing it out.

Also, I suck at writing origins, I'm better at writing stories where the reader is assumed to know exactly who the characters are.

[parrishh]

Dig a little deeper

tagged by @gcralts​ thank u libby ily

i’m putting this under the cut because it’s long!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? blue!

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? oh i’m definitely a city gal (to be totally honest, i’m actually a suburban homebody, but i couldn’t live in the country)

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? i have owned a guitar for...five years? and have never learned how to play it so that would be good

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? tea sometimes, coffee always

5. what was your favorite book as a child? oh gosh i had so many...ella enchanted by gail carson levine (still my favorite book), the children of noisy village by astrid lindgren (but in polish, the english version is missing too much of the story), & stargirl by jerry spinelli come to mind first

6. do you prefer baths or showers? showers, definitely

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? i just want to be a witch/wizard, that’s all

8. paper or electronic books? oh, god, paper, no question

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? i have this oversized forest green sweatshirt from the park my family goes camping in every year and it’s my favorite thing ever

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? i...really don’t love it, but i don’t think i would change it at this point in my life

11. who is a mentor to you? i mean, to take this question very literally, since i was a new teacher this past year i was assigned a mentor teacher at the school i work at and she’s so wonderful! i text her with so many questions all of the time and she never loses patience with me

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? it’s my dream to publish a book one day and of course i’d want it to do well, so, yes, i’d like to be famous for that

13. are you a restless sleeper? i mean, kind of? i’m a light sleeper but i don’t think i move around that much in my sleep

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? very much so, yes

15. which element best represents you? earth earth earth

16. who do you want to be closer to? this is probably not what this question is asking for but i wish my good friends on here lived closer to me (or at least on the same continent) so i could see them irl

17. do you miss someone at the moment? of course! covid has kept me away from so many of my loved ones

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. i remember standing in my grandparents’ living room back in poland when i was probably around two. my grandma gave me a bag of clothespins and i was throwing them out the window for my grandpa to catch and i thought it was so fun! they’ve both passed since then so it’s a memory i cherish

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? i ate an entire post-it note once? just because someone told me i wouldn’t

20. what are you most thankful for? i was in a dark place in my life for...a long time, so i’m incredibly grateful for the wonderful people i have in my life now who help keep me away from that place

21. do you like spicy food? yes but my tolerance isn’t as high as i’d like to think it is

22. have you ever met someone famous? literally the most random people. wesley stromberg from emblem3, kaylin white from kaylin and miles, & alli simpson (???) come to mind. also, one time, at a concert in, like, 2013, i met a bunch of youtube beauty gurus i used to watch back then. i don’t even remember who they all were, but one of them was claudia sulewski and i still adore her. i’ve met the members of my favorite band (the maine) multiple times, as well as cameron leahy from the downtown fiction (that was many, many years ago) and the members of the griswolds. ooh, and i met the 1975 at an album signing! 

23. do you keep a diary or journal? i used to! i had one of those “one line a day” journals and i wrote in it every day for five years, but i finished it last year and since then i haven’t journaled at all

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen

25. what is your star sign? taurus

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? um, soggy cereal can stay far away from me

27. what would you want your legacy to be? i just want to inspire my students and my future children, if i have any, to make the world a more equitable place

28. do you like reading? what was the last book you read? do i ever! i just finished crooked kingdom by leigh bardugo

29. how do you show someone you love them? if i love someone, i want to share pieces of my life with them, so i’ll reach out about things i’ve read or watched or thought about with them on a regular basis! also, when it comes to being in person, i’m very touchy-feely with people i love

30. do you like ice in your drinks? sure, but it’s not a must for me

31. what are you afraid of? something happening to my younger brother (i have nightmares about it all the time, for no good reason), never finding someone i want to spend my life with, finding out that people i care about are only pretending to like me

32. what is your favorite scent? everyone always comes for me for this but warm milk

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? surname, i guess, but i just try to avoid addressing them by name if i’m unsure lol

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? jeez, i don’t know...i’d travel! a lot!

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools! now if you asked me pools vs. lakes, that would be a different story

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? i’d probably just keep it but it depends on the likelihood of determining where it came from

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and probably

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? how not to be an asshole

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i already have two! i do want more, though! the next one i have planned is something related to my favorite band (the maine), and i want it on my ribs

40. what can you hear now? air conditioning, and someone rummaging through a bag in the kitchen

41. where do you feel the safest? i’m not sure, but the first thought that came into my head was in the backseat of the car, at night, while my dad is driving

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? i’ve been telling myself that i should go see a therapist for the past, i don’t know, ten years, so i want to actually overcome my fear of taking that leap and just go

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? i’m as content as i can be in this era, things used to be even more messed up than they are now. if i had to time travel, i suppose i’d like to experience being a young adult in the 70′s or 80′s (the music scene UGH)

44. what is your most used emoji? 😊 or 🙃 or 🥺

45. describe yourself using one word. persevering

46. what do you regret the most? something i’m not ready to share

47. last movie you saw? the hate u give! 

48. last tv show you watched? love, victor!!!!! it was so good!!!!!!

49. invent a word and its meaning i’m lame but i literally can’t think of anything

tagging: @hathawaywrites @gcndalf @remusjlvpins @phantomness @louvegoods @kazbrekkerrs (only if you want to, no pressure!)

[1985music]

Assembly of the Gods

Twon, If you're reading this it's too late my G. 

I'm never sure where to begin with these stories. Y'all remember when Nas spit a whole story backwards? Nevermind forget it. 

The year is 2013, I believe, and it's a rainy night in the fall. My boy Robbie Maxx drags my wife and I to a Meek Mill show in Teaneck NJ, just to peep the scene. The parking lot is a mad house of course. We had to wait in line and shit, which wasn't the vibe. We finally get in the spot, it's already packed and the opening acts are doing their thing. This one performer caught my attention. This short, energetic kid with his squad on stage with him screaming, "UPPERCLASS!". The young boy with the name "TWON" gleaming off his hat was spitting some fire with no fear or nervousness to a sold-out crowd in his hometown. Pretty dope performance overall. Soon after his exit from the stage Meek would come out and make is presence known. I knew that wasn't the last time I'd see or hear from that Twon guy. 

Some months later Maxx would headline a show at this spot called Mexicali Live (Debonair Lounge) and guess who he throws on the bill? You guessed it, TWONDON. It had been a while since I last saw the kid and this go-around the music was a bit different. He performed and did his thing much like the first time I saw him. He was chopping it up with his fans/supporters after his performance, so I had to wait to talk to him. I hate that sh*t. I was able to properly introduce myself and extend the invitation to collab. I'll admit our first encounter wasn't the greatest. It's always weird when a ni**a that doesn't know you tries to strike a conversation. He'll tell you. Although he knew of me as being Maxx's producer/engineer up until this point we hadn't had any extensive interaction. We exchanged info and that was that. He wasn't trying to hear anything I had to say that night though.

 Now it's 2014, I was floating around to different events in NYC. One in particular was a private album release party for Mobb Deep (RIP Prodigy). I want to say it was their last album, "The Infamous Mobb Deep." I'm coolin' in the spot for a little bit and guess who I bump in to? Of course, Twondon. The first thing he says to me is, "Damn B, you get around". At this point this ni**a finally realizes he can't escape the God. This time we got a chance to really chop it up. He mentioned to me he was looking for a new spot to record and a good engineer. I had to get my boy right. The first track we recorded together was, "Life's a Bitch" featuring AZ. I remember Twon asking me, "Yo B, can you somehow scratch in the Acapella of AZ from Nas' "Life's a Bitch"?” and explained how he wanted it to cut in and out of the hook. I remember thinking to myself, "This ni**a has no clue this my f**king BAG." To make a long story short my execution of what he requested was flawless. In past interviews Twon has mentioned that "Life's a Bitch" was when he found "His sound."

 Soon after Twon would make 1985 Sound Studio in Belleville, NJ his new home for recording. By this time I had already mixed a few singles for him including "4th and Inches" and "Run It" featuring Bizzy Crook and slew of others. There's this on-going thing where he'll say some sh*t like "Yo B, make me sound icy" and somehow I know what he means everytime. He also connected me with a few artists he knew including a young lyricist by the name of Dolla $ign Dunn who I continue to help with developing his sound as well. In the early stages of creating with Twon he had already had a lot of his beats picked out so he didn't really need me for production. I was just helping to cultivate that Upperclass sound through my mixing and mastering techniques. It wasn't until mid 2015 that discussions of his debut EP "Stay Golden" began to take shape. 

After a session one day Twon asked me about a beat I was creating on my ipad that I previewed on Instagram I think. No stories back then this was all timeline action. He said "That beat sound like me." 

I didn't think anything of it, I looped up the beat, added a few more elements to it and gave it up. No charge. That was the birth of the first single "Too Committed". He sat on the beat for a short time and came back to the studio and laid the 1st verse and the hook. Later on he told me that Smoke DZA would be blessing the record and executive producing the album "Stay Golden." 

"TWON!!? Antwon!! Wake your black ass up it's 1 in the afternoon..."   -Gloria's Intro (Mama Twondon) 

Twondon's “Stay Golden” album was released December 8, 2015, a day after my 30th Birthday. I was in Vegas my ni**a. The project was well received. The song "Million Dollar Babies" off that project racked up 600,000+ streams on Spotify alone. The whole roll-out for that project was dope. I go back and listen to that project sometimes and I love the way it sounds. It sounds just like the title, "Golden." So much work went into it and I enjoyed every minute of it. There are 10 mixes on "Too Committed" alone. Occasionally I will hear my wife bumping "All the Above." She's also partially responsible for placing "Too Committed" in the Indie film "King of Newark" (2016) 

After the success of that project we continued to create and build. The last few years I've watched Twondon evolve from rapper/lyricist to clothing designer to all-around entrepreneur. Yeah man, my boy was making clothes. I had to support him because the Upperclass Intl. collections were dope, simple as that. Every collection is limited pieces, so if you miss it for the week it's available it's over. His system is untouchable to say the least. He'll give you some dope music and then turn around and give you some fresh clothes. Young Nipsey traits for sure. The one piece I missed out on was this navy blue Upperclass hoodie he dropped. Still salty about that. He know. 

The inception of "God Complex" 

Summer of 2016 I locked in with my brother Josh. He would come to the crib on random days and cook up. Lay hooks, make beats etc. One of the hooks he laid was on "F**k What They Tryna Say," we both knew it was special. He laid it down and we never revisted it. Typical Josh sh*t. He's just a legendary soul. He's different. 

2017 I relocated to Atlanta. Twondon and I would maintain our working relationship and brother-hood from a far. We would send sessions back and forth, long ass facetime calls and sh*t. I would send beats sometimes and I stumbled across that joint "F**k What They Tryna Say" again, so I sent it to him. He didn't have anything in his catalog like it at the time. He wrote to it in about 45 minutes maybe less and sent me voice notes of the verses he had. Just undeniable flame. Since he didn't have a studio to record in at the time, I arranged to shoot back to Jersey to handle some business and record his verses. We linked up at a Sheraton I was staying at in Weehawken NJ overlooking New York City. I set up my laptop and microphone, we had some "God-Talk" and we got to work. Needless to say this record "Fuck What They Tryna Say" is about to be 4 years old by the time you guys hear it. Timeless vibes. Around the time we recorded that song I was still dealing with the indelible aftermath of my own personal police misconduct situation. It's documented that US Police had already shot and killed 72+ unarmed black males from 2015-2017. The numbers continue to rise. The message in that song is powerful, heavy and very clear, Fuck what they tryna say. We're not naive to what's happening in our communities, but as you can see we still thrive anyway. So we dont give a f**k what yall talking about. Plain and simple. 

"The skeletons in the closet is rising, the truth is louder than ever they kill us and televise it..." "FWTTS" - Twondon (feat Josh.GLPA) 

These last few years have made me realize how important the artist-engineer and artist-producer relationship really is. We've gotten so good at separating our business and personal lives that when this guy hits my line and simply says, "Mr. Ross," my response is normaly "Mr. Gibbs?”, I know something is coming. Would you believe we've spent the last 7 years developing his sound to what you hear today? I've mixed and mastered over 30 songs, 3 albums and 3 EPs for Twondon thus far. So many email threads, text messages, phone calls and overtime to bring to life that Upperclass sound you know him for. “God Complex” is just a cornerstone of what we've been able to build together on this journey of ours. Songs like “199$” and “Trips Up North,” are the creative by-product of our extensive conversations about life, man-hood, spirituality and how we are limitless in our thinking and resilient in what we pursue. We are Gods in our own right. Like Ye said, "I just told you who I thought I was, a God". Just respect it. Hope you enjoy this masterpiece. More music on the way. It's Upperclass ̡ 

Written by Brandon "Plan B '85" Ross 1985 Music 

Stream/Buy God Complex NOW

http://smarturl.it/GODCOMPLEXPACK

[kpopreviewcafe]

G-DRAGON – Five Essential Tracks

G-DRAGON is one of the most successful and revered artists in not only Korea, but the whole world. V.I.Ps and artists alike all idolise him and his music to no end. I was lucky enough to see G-DRAGON live in M.O.T.T.E, and honestly it was one of the best days of my life. Every song of his is gold… but here are the five I think are his most precious.

5. Heartbreaker (2009)

When it comes to G-DRAGON, you’ve got to respect his roots. That means digging out his solo debut Heartbreaker. Everything about this song was fantastic, from the crazy music video to the iconic heavy autotune. Not to mention, it has one of the most exciting ending choruses I’ve ever heard… I didn’t know how to spell HEART until this song – thanks king.

Heartbreaker was revolutionary – THE ultimate old-school-pop party-all-night banger.

4. Bullshit (2017)

Hearing Bullshit straight after Heartbreaker will make you realise just how far Kwon Ji Yong has come in the last few years. Bullshit was one of G-DRAGON’s finest masterpieces – he achieved that ultimate level of cool and swagger he’s always been aiming for. No matter what mood you’re in, when you listen to this song, I guarantee you will feel like you’re on top of the world.

This song is his ultimate F you anthem, and we are LIVING for it.

3. Crayon (2012)

Crayon was ahead of its time. G-DRAGON himself said it was meant to challenge his listeners – and boy did it! This song was groundbreaking, and his skill as a rapper and composer really shone through. The very best thing about this song is that G-DRAGON seemed truly happy when he performed it. I urge you to watch one of his stage performances – they are mind blowing.

I’m about to tattoo GET YOUR CRAYON onto my chest #noragrets

2. Coup d’état (2013)

G-DRAGON is a musical genus – there’s no other way to put it. Coup d’état is one of the most experimental songs I have ever heard – it is dark, sexy and unforgettable. GD even teased his future hit Bullshit and his group’s legendary bop Bang Bang Bang on this track years before their release. GET ON HIS LEVEL.

His rap, his style, his swagger… everything is perfect.

1. Crooked (2013)

It is no surprise that Crooked came in at number one… this song was both beautiful and painful in a way that G-DRAGON has never achieved before. When you hear this song you won’t know if you want to dance, cry or scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs… (Note: you’ll probably end up doing all three). Trust me when I say that after you hear this extraordinary punk rock ballad, your life will never be the same.

G-DRAGON is the king of all music, and this song is his crowning glory.

V.I.Ps stay strong – BIGBANG is forever.

See my 5 Essential Tracks by BIGBANG and TAEYANG too. 

[shesgayfor]

Insecurities

Summary: Sebastian and reader discuss their insecurities. Major fluff

Characters: Sebastian Stan, Reader

TW: Insecurities (?)

 He’s finally home for some quality one on one time. You and him are lying side by side on your king sized bed, his tall figure spooning your slightly smaller one. He’s been stroking your hair while you play with his hands for the past hour. There was minimum chatter, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Y/N.” He lightly whispered.

“Yeah Seb?”

“We should talk about something, something strange but interesting.” You unlocked yourself from his spoon grip, to turn to the other side and face him.

“What would you like to talk about, mister.” Your tone was slightly sarcastic.

“I don’t know. We could each share something about ourselves that we don’t like, and explain why.”

Your eyebrows furrowed deeply at him. “What? Why.”

He laughed a bit, revealing his perfect teeth. “Why not. We’ve never actually discussed these things before. We’re always so busy.” He looked deeply into your eyes. “I wanna know you on a higher level, Y/N.”

The expression on your face was one of confusion and surprise. “Okay, but since you started it you go first.”

“Fair enough.” He laughed. “I’ve always struggled with my hair. I can never get it to do what I want. Whether it’s long, short, or even the rare occasion it’s a medium length. It bothers me that it doesn’t fall perfectly into place, like ever.”

“Wait Sebastian really, that’s what you’re gonna say?”

“What do you mean?” His tone defensive.

“I thought you meant like, something else nevermind.” You rolled on your back, now looking up at the ceiling.

“Did you have something else in mind?” He raised his body a bit to lock eyes. You looked over to his piercing blue ones. “I thought you meant like, insecurities. Like, deep ones. Not something silly like your hair.”

“You saying my dislike for my hair is silly?”

“Kind of. Seb, insecurities are on a whole other level. Like, sometimes it’s so hard to even talk about them because they’re that effective. They’re things to not joke about. I can joke about your long, luscious hair because you aren’t insecure about it, you just don’t like it.”

“Wai wai wait, who's to say I don’t have insecurities, LIKE my hair?”

“Are you?” Your tone was stern. His eyes looked slightly frightful, intimidated yours. “No.” He responded softly.

“Amazing.” You turned back the way you were about a minute ago, your back facing him. This conversation was making you emotional, talking about your insecurities was the hardest thing ever.

“Y/N,” he placed a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize there was a difference.” His hand lightly rubbing your shoulder.

You felt yourself build up to a cry. It was going to come out sooner or later, and he was going to force you to deal with it. You weren’t ready. You stayed quiet while slow tears rolled down your face. You were able to keep it quiet and hidden from Sebastian, until you sniffled an obvious “I’ve been crying” sniffle.

“Y/N please, I’m sorry.” He kept trying. He didn’t actually understand what was going on, he just wanted to help. “Please talk to me. I’m so sorry if I said anything to upset you. I’m sorry.” He rested his forehead on your shoulder.

“It’s not what you said, it’s what you brought up.” Your voice shaking as it spoke.

“What do you mean, love.” You stayed quiet hoping he’d figure it out. He’s smart. He needed time. “About insecurities?” He spoke out of nowhere. You nodded. “Oh love, I am truly sorry. We can drop this topic right now. Or if you want to talk about it, I’m open ears. If not, of course that’s okay. Whatever you want to do. I’m sorry.” His constant apologizing was making you cry even more. He cared so much, and you knew you’d feel safe sharing with him, about whatever.

“What physical features of mine do you find, desirable.” You asked blankly.

“All of them.”

“But in specific.”

“Y/N, all of your features. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, your voice, your body, your hands, everything.”

“My smile? Are you sure?”

“What? Yes I’m sure. You can light up an entire room.”

“So you don’t care that my teeth are crooked and fucked up.”

“Y/N, no. How could you say such a thing.” His voice got low and sad, like this hit a soft spot with him.

“Seb, I’m highly insecure about my teeth.” You heard him sigh behind you, while he lifted his free arm and pulled you closer. “I’m sorry.” Was all he whispered.

“They’ve been crooked my entire life. Since high school, I wanted braces. Our family couldn’t afford them though. I’ve hated my smile ever since.”

Sebastian tried to roll you over so he could look into your eyes, but you weren’t budging. “Y/N please look at me. Please.” His voice was soft and sweet.

With hesitation, you rolled back on your back, head lying on the pillow. His body was directly next to yours, as he laid watching you closely.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know about any of that.”

“How could you? That’s why it’s an insecurity, it’s not something that’s just freely spoken you know.” He nodded as he continued to watch you talk.

“I think you have a beautiful smile, love.” He smiled down at you.

“I don’t think I do. Seb, I look at your teeth and just wish mine could look like that too. You have such a confident smile, something i’ll never be able to feel.”

You noticed his face turn red, as he positioned his body to be lying on his back just like yours. His hands intertwined with yours, he sighed deeply. “They weren’t always straight.” He started.

“What?” This jumped your curiosity making your upper half spring up to look at him. He gently lowered you back down to the bed, remaining at the same level.

“Yeah Y/N. I grew up with crooked teeth too. You can look on the internet and it’s all over.”

“Oh right well, I don’t actually google you so…” you trailed off.

He laughed. “Well good! No yeah, most of my acting career I had crooked teeth. It was obvious, not like a slight hidden thing, no. I was deeply upset by it, rewatching myself in movies and tv shows, looking at my teeth, I wasn’t happy. After we shot and filmed winter soldier in 2013, I just had an urge to fix them, or something. So I went to a dentist, and she fitted me for those invisible braces, invisalign.” You were intrigued by all of this, your expression showing it. “I wore it for 6 months and by the end my teeth were straight and good to go to film civil war.” He laughed at the last part.

“Shit babe, I had no idea. That makes so much sense though, because your teeth are incredible.” You emphasizes incredible.

“Thank you love. I’m really happy with my smile now. And you should be too. What crooked are you even talking about?” He shifted to the side again, bringing his hand to your lips, gently pulling them down. You weren’t letting him, as you kept your teeth clenched and lips sealed. “Come on, let me see. I really don’t know what crooked you're even talking about.” He continued to stare at your mouth.

“What are you my dentist? Come on Seb.” You swatted his hand away from your mouth. “I’m embarrassed okay, just drop it.”

“Okay, right. Sorry.” He shifted positions once again, to his back.

You both laid there silently for a few minutes, thinking over everything. His hands were still entangled in yours, as he slowly rubbed his thumb in circles around. You kind of wanted to show Sebastian your teeth, but you also felt like an idiot. It’s not that deep, you thought.

“Okay I’ll show you.” He head turned to look at you. “No laughing, no making me feel bad. Please. I’ll punch you if you do.”

“Deal.” He leaned over closer to your face.

“Dear god this is the worst thing in history but, here goes nothing.” You stuck your fingers in your mouth, lifting up both your top and bottom lip above your teeth, making them extremely visible. You released one hand to point to the crooked ones on top first. Sebastian slowly brought his finger towards your mouth. Without fighting it, he began to touch the crooked teeth with his fingers. An intrigued look came across his face. You then pointed to the lower ones, which were all crooked and out of order. He used his strong hand to carefully open your mouth a bit, as his pointer finger ran across the lower ones. He was carefully examining your teeth, running his finger along them. You clenched your teeth together, biting down, showing more of them. He just continued to study them. “Okay doctor, you done?” This snapped him out of his slight trance he was having with your teeth.

“Sorry, I hope that wasn’t too weird. It’s just, that’s how mine used to look.”

“No it’s fine. They’re bad right?”

“Not at all. All things given, you can’t really tell unless you look closely.”

“Sebastian stop. I hate them, okay? I always will.”

“Will you let me help you?”

“What? You a dentist also? On top of being an actor?” You laughed.

“Goodness no. I can take you to where I went. She can set you up with some kind of braces?” He questioned.

“Seb what? Why?” You were slightly panicky, knowing you’d never be able to afford his dentist.

“What do you mean why? Because I want to help you. She helped me. You like my teeth right?” He deeply studied you.

“Yes.” You replied softly.

“Okay, so she can help you achieve the same result.”

“Seb I don’t have money to spend on my teeth right now.”

He shrugged. “Consider it a gift.”

Your eyes widened. “No. What?” You continued to stammer on with justifiable confusion.

He cupped your face into his hands. “Y/N, we’ve been together for 3 years now. I love you more than life itself. Money doesn’t mean anything, I’m sorry I know that sounds snobby but when it comes to you, absolutely not. Let me help. It’s an expensive treatment, I can take it off your hands.”

His words slowly sank into your head. You love him so much. Tears began to fall again as you looked at him with puppy dog eyes. “Seb I-.” you were hardcore trembling, without words.

“I didn’t know you struggled with this. I went through the same thing, baby. When I finally came into enough money where I could do this for myself, I did it. And I’m so happy I did. You can do the same. Let me help you get there.”

“Seb I don’t even know what to say I-.” you we’re still trembling and crying at the same time. “I’ll pay you back. I promise, I’ll save up everything and by the time it’s all done I can pay you back.”

“No.” He said with a soft tone.

You kept looking at him with disbelief. This man loved you so much he was willing to pay for a couple grand treatment for you. You were without words. Grateful. Happy. Excited. Scared? You didn’t know what to expect.

“Oh my god.” You got up on the bed and planted yourself on top of him, holding him like a giant teddy bear. You nuzzled your head into his shoulder, getting as close to him as possible.

“Is that a yes?” He asked with a laugh.

You pushed yourself up against the bed, your face hanging directly above his, as he continued to lay down. “Are you sure?” Your voice riddled with uncertainty.

“Yes. I’m sure.” He smiled widely at you. You smiled back, and collapsed back onto his body. You wrapped your arms around his head, pulling it close to you.

“I love you so much, how can I ever thank you.”

“Just be here with me. That’s all I need.”