#what do you MEAN the canon isnt even consistent to itself??

[firefly-factory]

Me: this fanfic is watertight. The backstories? Tragic. The love interests? Stunning. The Canon? Compliant.

The Canon:

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

2 + 3 + 12 + 33!!!!

had to fish around to find that ask game again!!!!! also hiiiii better late than never :))) :}}}}} <3 i need to tell u smth abt kleo i have Thoughts (not big thoughts this sounds as if its big it isnt i just reconsidered my initial statement that u might not like iiiiit)

2. anything that you'd like to write but feel that youre unable to??

oh yes!!! so much!!!!! even the things im writing bring me constantly into a situation of hair-tearing-out crying-clawing-screaming hitting-head-against-the-wall. i flip-flop between thinking i cant even write what im writing and thinking that im kinda decent. hhhhh. anyway!!!!!

i want to write a solid longfic with extensive worldbuilding. it doesnt matter the genre, just solid and rich worldbuilding where the writing stays consistent and steady until the end is already good. but if i could specifiy, i yearn for it to be a canon compliant/canon divergence/canon era fic with a unique take on canon. i want to write canon era fics in general, but im always hesitant to. i know what happens when i fall into a research hole, it fires up my anxiety. and i want to write scifi or a cool space opera. and i want to be able to write novel fic (of tyk) and not want to die during the process. all these things feel impossible to me :]]]]]]]]

3. how would u describe ur writing style?

i had to think about this for a bit!!!! because my writing style is unfortunately directly connected to my mental stability which is not always. stable. huehe. hmmmm i think my style (given that im doing good!) leans very hard into economical but evocative storytelling; like, i mean the rhythm of oral storytelling. stream of consciousness. prose poetry. poetry slam. i want the words to explode in your mouth and i want it to paint a very clear image in your head. i want people to hear me telling the story! even if the reader (or listener!) cant be there to experience it for themselves, at least i can tell them about it! thats probably because my first experience with story as a concept comes from audio dramas and generally someone reading something to me. thats honestly still the medium i prefer, tbh.

12. if you write in more than one language, whats the difference?

TvvvvvvT

currently i dont write in more than one language, if u dont count non-fictional handwriting bc i write all my notes in my native language. but i still remember how it used to be to write creatively in german. like im always whining about how difficult it is to cast the same image in english as in german; i just dont have that fine motor control over english as i have over german. i can easily switch between gears in german but english still ,, befuddles me pfft. its most noticable when im mucking around drafting and spend more time thinking about fun stuff like correct grammar and correct sentence structure and which word means what in english, than about the story and the characters. it takes so much energy and effort to think about and of all of this, there is barely any space left for the story that im trying to tell. which is def a major drawback for me and one of the reasons that ive been considering to start writing in german again. even though i have uh some baggage there that i dont really want to face. language is so connected to identity and culture. and thats another reason why english is difficult; i know english, aside from school, mostly from usamerican books or from online interactions with usamericans or people talking usamerican. so that has ofc heavily influenced my own english. like, i set all my stories in germany for reasons, but its stupidly hard to draw up the cultural markers because the language itself that im using is already coming with cultural influences from another country. its really strange and confusing, and i would find it fascinating and interesting if it wasnt so frustrating. sometimes it feels like there is a veil between me and what im trying to say, and also as if my thought patterns dont work as they would because the language that should just be a tool to tell a story is already so dominant. thats def smth i hope to change in the future

33. give your writing a compliment!

hmmm. its very earnest. reading my own stuff, even old stuff, i can tell what sort of struggles made it hard to get smth specific onto the page. and sometimes what ends up on the page is not what was supposed to be there in the first place. but its earnest and i can see that. its always the best i can do in that moment, and its always a piece of me because i give so much of myself during the process. thats not always a good thing but its how i am. im glad the earnestness, the sincerity, the love, the faith, the hope, is so visible to the bare eye.

yet another writing ask

[devondeal]

Hello there wifey 💚💙 Here’s some Jedi ask questions about our favorite Jedi women, enjoy 😘

Ahsoka

1,9,21,50

Barriss

2,38,42,43

Luminara

10, 16, 46, 49

Leia

5, 14, 39, 48

Oooo I love me my Jedi women! I had a blast answering these, thanks wifey! 💙💚

Ahsoka

1.) How did she find her Kyber crystal(s)?

So the first time she had to have had gone with her creche led by Yoda I imagine. I think the Illum cave would only show her the Kyber after she learned to slow down and not let her anxieties rush her. I say this because this is a consistent issue for early seasons Ahsoka where she is very impulsive.

For her second Kyber crystal, she had to have gone to Illum with Anakin. I think Ahsoka did not expect to need another crystal because I feel like it was Anakin's observation as a teacher that she was best suited to Jar Kai (dual wielding). It is possible Ahsoka became insecure at her Master deciding she needed a second blade like maybe she wasn't doing good enough with one even though that's not at all what he meant. So I feel like the crystal would present itself to her when she learns to accept that it's ok to use a different style than is the most common and traditional. That she isn't any less a skilled Jedi because she is better with two lightsabers (which would mean a lot to me personally as someone who always needed extra help in school).

9.) Their favorite memory with their Master

I feel like her favorite memory with Anakin would be anytime he teaches her about mechanics given she's mentioned it a few times in Clone Wars namely when she fixes her comm on Geonosis.

I chose this because given what we learned in Tales of the Jedi of how Anakin trained her, these memories of combat training may be confusing and stressful. She probably would turn to a different activity they did together for good memories.

I feel like she also gets nostalgic just remembering when Anakin and Obi Wan bickered like siblings while she just rolled her eyes.

21.) Their greatest challenge

Ahsoka in my opinion really really desperately needs to work on letting go of her guilt and insecurities. She has a tendency to feel responsible for things beyond her control which really gets out of control with Darth Vader.

She just never feels good enough and questions every decision she makes and that only gets worse when she realizes the man who taught her turned to the dark side.

50.) Something in canon about them you reject

The Ahsoka show so far. I'm sorry but I just don't like story or the interpretation of her character at that point in time. She just doesn't feel the same to me anymore. She feels so watered down and just not how the Ahsoka from Clone Wars and even Rebels would act.

Barriss

2.) Why did she build her lightsaber hilt the way she did?

Barriss's hilt is pretty simple so I feel like she built it for practicality. Plus as a healer, she isnt one for fighting so she wouldnt put as much thought into a weapon. There are some similiarities to Luminara's lightsaber so that's definitely a tribute. I also notice that the metal of saber isnt as shiny as most lightsabers. Maybe it's for stealth, or maybe it's a lighter metal to carry, possibly native to her planet if we wanna get sentimental.

Her blade would be blue because Barriss's number one priority is to protect above all. I just love how her lightsaber hilt looks because it's so symmetrical and seems pleasant and easy to hold. The bit of gold at the top is just enough to make it stand out and a lovely tribute to her Master.

These pics are from the lightsaber books which helped inform my opinion given when I google it, her saber looks different depending on what comes up. I also like how it describes her hilt in the end of the paragraph:

38.) Their favorite place in the Jedi Temple

The archives cuz she's a nerd 🤣 seriously though, I think reading and learning stimulates her in a way she needs and is a comfort for her when she's anxious.

42.) What's something she'll never forget?

Sorry for the angst but the Geonosis Arena. That changed everything for her. She saw so many fellow Jedi killed and that was so traumatizing for her, she just couldn't be on the battle field again for a long while according to the canon short story.

The happier answer is Luminara just being the bestest Master and also the moment she realized she has feelings for Ahsoka.

43.) If she could talk to any deceased Jedi, who would it be and why?

I'm gonna give the obvious answer with Luminara and I feel like she would need to say everything she wish she could have told her when she was alive. Especially to free Luminara from any sense of guilt she may have regarding how the war affected Barriss.

Luminara

10.) Her favorite memory with her Padawan

I think it would be watching Barriss build her lightsaber like in the 2003 series. She would be so proud of Barriss I know it.

I also think there are many moments in The Approaching Storm of watching Barriss just having fun. I think she and Anakin basically have a splash fight in a river. Also Luminara would definitely be so proud of Barriss's lightsaber dance. I can see her looking back on these memories after the Clone Wars began wishing it were like that again.

16.) Who are her best friends and how did she meet them?

Obi Wan and Quinlan since I think they're close in age. They'd meet as young Padawans maybe sparring. She probably bested Obi Wan and he was just all blushy which Quinlan def teased him for. They probably got in trouble together all the time. Or maybe as 8 year olds, Quinlan dared Lumi to kiss Obi Wan leaving the poor boy all blushy and tripping over himself 🤣

46.) Your favorite headcanon about her

That she hates Ventress with unreasonable fury 🤣 also that she and Obi Wan are in love and she was a naughtier Padawan.

The reason for that last bit is I headcanon Katri to be her first Master but she sadly was killed as we saw in Tales of the Jedi while Luminara would still be pretty young so she'd probably struggle with that grief. It's also why I feel like Dooku might have a soft spot for Luminara because he respected her Master and avenged her. But I feel like Luminara had to have struggled with the dark side as a teenager as a result of all this.

49.) Her greatest moment

That one bit in a comic where she kicks a pebble at a giant and it knocks him the fuck out looking like she just doesn't have time for this nonsense 🤣

Onscreen, I'd say in Cloak of Darkness, when she was willing to admit she made a mistake about Ventress to Ahsoka. It's so rare to see authority figures be so humble and admit a mistake. It really shows how wonderful and kind and soft she is. It shows why she is to me one of the greatest Jedi.

Leia

5.) Her favorite thing about being a Jedi

Being a Jedi would feel like coming home for Leia. Because she has always felt the Force though she didn't know it. Being a Jedi would feel like reuniting with an old childhood friend. It would remind her of how Bail and Breha raised her to be kind and never let cruelty prevail.

14.) How does she like to meditate?

I feel like she'd prefer isolation. I think she'd levitate because we see Rey doing that so I imagined she learned it from her. I think Leia would also meditate while holding onto a trinket from Alderaan because she'd need something to fidget with. And as a woman of action, meditating would be hard for her so she'd need an object to take out any energy with.

39.) If she were to enter an ancient temple, what would she see?

Since ancient temples love to fuck with Force sensitives, Leia would probably see Darth Vader morphing between that form and Anakin since I feel like he's her worst nightmare. She's afraid if she has any bit of him in her because of genetics so he'd taunt her abt that.

48.) A crack headcanon about her

Leia has the biggest potty mouth and it's a fucking problem. She has def slipped some cuss words in places she REALLY should not. Yes she has all the royal and political training but piss her off enough and the entire senate will hear exactly how she feels. Tarkin has def been at the recieving end of it and she has been suspended as a result.

The only reason Leia keep C3PO around is that she needs him to do her hair. All those fancy updoes? Yeah she never had to do them a day in her life but she does want to look her best so she keeps his annoying metal ass around. Eventually though, it's Han who does her hair for her and 3PO is just there for... tradition? Maybe translation abilities 🤣

[neoncityrain]

Gu GG fxtcfxfx unhinged Leafeon Zephyr got me going 👀

Could you tell me a bit more about them???

i was gonna answer this earlier but stuff™️ happened 😔 didnt finish the doodles i was makin for it and ended up playing stardew, but i LIVED. have this instead

sO. first lemme re-explain the core of zephyrs personality, since this didnt translate well into pmdtog: theyre extremely passionate about something labelled as evil. in sky, the game i originally designed them and polaris around, this was simply referred to as "the darkness", which drove creatures to aggression and drained life from things that touched it. to zee, it was the one thing that they found not only interesting, but COMFORTING. whereas other people were easily overwhelming, the corrupting force was quiet, incredibly interesting, and sure others thought it was bad but others acted as if zephyr was bad, too.

so zephyr let the corruption in willingly and began to care for it.

this in and of itself isnt a bad thing! this would be zephyr as you know them, and still is- yannow- canon to everything. if anything im just rethinking the parts where i relied way too heavily on pokemon lore and not enough on my own lore. (also i think their eevee design could use a tweak or two lol their gloves have been weird legwarmers for too long)

for the next part, though, i have to also explain: with each passing year, ive been entertaining the idea of polaris as being older. in part because its interesting to see him grow and change, but also because its fun to have a character who grows up. he was designed as a twelve year old who sees life as hopeless. he will have existed for three years as of next month, and now im thinking about how he, after so so SO many stories and tales where he struggled to simply live and be alive, grows up to care for three children with a man who truly loves him. that means a lot to me, and feels natural- hes been shaped by irl years of storytelling.

...so why not do the same for zephyr?

but then, whos to say theyd get better?

see, part of pols thing is that he was negative, but learned to ease up and gain confidence in himself and the world through the help of others. but zephyr, ooooh zee has always been positive to the point of denial. and while polaris has had interactions with other characters to shape who he is...

zephyr has had two that were positive. polaris, a skittish sassy asshole who literally dies, and manta, who couldnt interact with zee directly but attempted to push them away to keep them from hurting themself.

so then, what would someone like that turn to over the years?

zephyr ends up becoming more and more the caretaker for some blooming, festering evil, and they deny more and more and more and more that doing so could EVER be wrong. they start denying that the corruption is even doing wrong in the first place. its just defending itself, maybe if you were nicer it wouldnt hurt you.

and i mean, whats wrong with helping the only thing thats been consistently with you through and through? sure it hurts, but everyone else is so mean. it must be lonely to be so hated, but zephyr is full of love and zephyr will protect it with all the love in their heart.

...even if this love ends up poisonous, they will adapt, now wont they <:]c

[og-danny-dorito]

[ Favorite BNHA Boys’ Reactions To You Holding Their Face ]

if you’re on bnha/jojo simptok you know EXACTLY where i got this idea from

𝕓𝕒𝕜𝕦𝕘𝕠 𝕜𝕒𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕚 :

➢ lMAO the first time you touch his face he is SCREAMING KDJFNSKJ-

➢ it’s mostly because he didn't get a warning first of all, and second of all he doesn't really like people touching his face in general anyway so like obviously he’s not for it the first time

➢ if you ask really nicely or try to offer some sort of repayment for it (an example being to do the dishes when it’s his turn if you’re living together or to pay for dinner next time you go out if you’re not) he’ll consider it though, and will begrudgingly comply to your wishes

➢ but, fortunately for you, he ends up liking it a biiiiit more than he thought he would to say the least 😂

➢ as soon as he looks you dead in the eye and says “just get it over with”, your hands are on his face. to his surprise though, he ends up being a little bit less annoyed by it and more... soothed

➢ the feeling of your hands on his cheeks, gently circling your thumb over the softer areas of his skin, the tension in his jaw melts away. his shoulders feel less rigid. his muscles less sore. it’s sort of a subconscious reaction by that point, but regardless of how much his body is telling him that he likes the contact, he’s still going to deny the red that comes up to his cheeks and spreads over his face like wildfire

➢ “No, I’m not blushing- what do you think I am? I’m not soft or anything like that... NO STOP DON’T HUG ME-”

➢ definitely the type to deny that he likes it like the tsundere he is, but gets a little bit pouty when you do take your hands away. won’t ask for affection but definitely gives you subconscious signs that he wants to be Held™

𝕒𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕒 :

➢ the best way to get his attention actually!!!

➢ you see, this walking personification of sleep deprivation is almost CONSISTENTLY wrapped up in his work one way or the other, whether it be subconscious or upfront

➢ he really does try his hardest to not be so focused on work all the time, but he gets consumed by it really easily since he’s a workaholic and runs on the adrenaline of getting as much paperwork done in one night

➢ it’s not uncommon for him to loose focus of the things around him, but having you there with him is good at grounding him so he doesn't start to stress over small details and stuff like that

➢ usually when you walk up and frame your hands around his face, he’s a little bit surprised at first and doesn't know how to react since he doesn't receive such intimate affection (and never really has). he gets used to it eventually though, and it becomes sort of a subconscious habit to just lean into your touch and smile a little bit at you

➢ will occasionally give you a lingering kiss on your palm when you do it, looking into your eyes in a way that makes your stomach feel full of butterflies

➢ probably says something like “What is it, kitten?” or “Hey.” while grasping your hand in his

➢ warning!!! this WILL lead to a cuddle session that you wont be able to get out of. be prepared to be smushed between aizawa and all 3 of his big ol fat cats for the rest of the day/night if neither of you have anything to do

𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠 𝕥𝕠𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕤𝕦 :

➢ YES okay LOOK i fucking love all of the soft shit that ya’ll come up with about my boy Fatgum here and i’m here to fucking contribute because i love him 😤

➢ to fully understand his reaction, you must first know that this man is an absolute sucker fo any kind of affection you give him regardless of the context

➢ he dishes out enough affection to keep you assured that he loves and appreciates you in every way, which will almost always comes with some of the sweetest compliments imaginable

➢ he knows exactly how to make you feel loved since he likes having the same kind of thing done to him, and so when you return it he’s over the moon

➢ it doesn't even catch him off guard when you do it to be honest. he just sweeps you up in his arms and spins you around, telling you how cute you are and how much he loves you. if not that then he nuzzles into your hand and grins, his whole face lighting up at the sensations of warmth radiating between such a small contact area

➢ he’s another one that immediately wants to cuddle after and probably cancels his other plans so he can spend time with you. he’s just SOMFT for the face holding p l s,,, do i t

➢ says somethin along the lines of “I love you, honey bun!” or “You’re so sweet!” cause he LOVES you and i’ll be damned if this man doesn't use food-related nicknames with his lover

➢ 10/10 will do the same to you if permissible and DEFINITELY will find other creative ways to offer you more affection in return

𝕕𝕒𝕓𝕚 / 𝕥𝕠𝕦𝕪𝕒 𝕥𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚 :

➢ this one is kinda depssing compared to everyone else KJSFNDK LMAO IM SORRY PFF

➢ okay so like,,, mans isnt big on affection for a number of Reasons and so obviously he’s gonna be a little confused, but the reaction itself is kinda what raises some red flags and rings alarm bells considering it’s kinda uncharacteristic of him

➢ the first time you did it was by surprise even though he could clearly see you reach for him. he moves his head back quickly, sucking in a breath and raising his hands a little to block something that wasn’t coming. that’s already kind of alarming by itself, but his expression...

➢ you don’t think that you’ve ever seen dabi scared. not like, alarmed or on guard or anything like that, but genuinely, truly scared. scared like something was coming for him. like he was a little kid again, back in that place-

➢ the best course of action here is to back up and put your hands up, giving him some space to recuperate. he’ll drag his own down his face after that, seeming to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and avoid making direct eye contact with you

➢ it’s very likely that he’ll jut leave without a word after that and might not come back after a few hours. you’ll have to ask him directly what happened to which he’ll give you some basic details, but he’s not going too into depth since ehe doesn't want to bring all that shit back up after he expertly kept it down for so long

➢ if you really want to do it you need to give him a warning every time you do, and he’s really only in specific moods for it on select days anyway. it’s no offense on you, he’s just not all that affectionate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

➢ a good alternative is to try to hold his hand when he’s not doing something. he might give you a weird look, but the fact that he’s not pushing you away says that he might actually enjoy it a little bit. he won’t say anything about it though, god forbid he talk about his f e e l i n g s

➢ OKAY jesus christ onto more fluffy shit

𝕜𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕠 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕞𝕚 :

➢ oop- touch starved who??

➢ i know that like,,, in canon he doesn't really express much of his bird traits that kind of signify some of the more Feral parts of his brain but like?? i think that there’s very specific traits that he exhibits that can either be shrugged off as normal behavior or are like explicitly bird-like and receiving affection is definitely the latter

➢ now i don’t know that much about birds but i know that when you pet them sometimes they’ll coo or do that trilling thing so i’m thinking that he would probably do the same thing if given the chance

➢ cuddling with him is probably the way you found out about it though, so it’s no surprise that when you gently cup his face with your hands and stroke his cheek with your thumb he makes a low vibrating noise that comes out on instinct

➢ he gets super embarrassed and has to explain himself through endless stuttering, but after you tell him that “It’s alright, I think it’s kind of cute actually.” he feels a little bit more comfortable with sharing intimate moments like that

➢ being raised to be a weapon means that he didn’t really receive the affection that he should've when he was young, so he might be a little awkward at first, but after like a week of doing it he kind of just rolls with it

➢ like aizawa, it’s a great way to get his eyes off of work and on you instead, but he pretends to be aggravated with it just for the sake of eliciting pointless banter between you two

➢ says something like “You tryin to get my attention, baby bird?” or “What, am I not paying enough attention to you?” just to seem like he’s indifferent but definitely gets pouty and grabs you by the waist if you take your hands off of him

[ ~Thank You For Reading! And If You Have Any Requests, Be Sure To Contact Me!~ ]

[duckduckngoose]

Why the egg did absolutely nothing wrong and is actually good for the server

The egg infact, has taken a total of zero canon lives. Unlike several dsmp members who are seen as ‘better people than the egg’. If the egg was truely evil it wouldve done murder at least once. Also none of the eggpire members have taken a life from someone. They havent gotten close either.

The egg might have been planning to kill Tommy, but he was very much killed by Dream instead. Heck he didnt even stay dead! He got revived like 3 days later! He’s alive (and not doing so well) and you cant blame the egg for it. He even was allowed to take a piece from the egg itself.

An eggpire might have hired someone to kill Puffy but shes doing perfectly fine! There hasnt even been an attempt from the hired person to kill her! Heck she didnt even die and get revived from different causes like Tommy!

The egg might have trapped people though. But it was completely their fault for standing in the wrong spot! Sam shouldnt have stood on a table to hug someone he should have just done it on the floor like a normal person! Ranboo didnt have to jump on the table he couldve just walked around it.

Hannah and Ponk both got trapped aswell but they like the egg now! It was probaly just needed to simply convince them! Plus they even seem happy with the egg now.

Fundy got trapped too but he escaped really fast, he didnt even have any big harm to him! And Skeppy even choose to get trapped with it!

And heck, being trapped with the egg might have not even have been that bad! Its just sitting in a small space where the egg talks in reverse to you! It probaly even the dream of many people to do that! Its like 7 minutes in heaven!

The egg might have done some mind control though. But the people loved the egg when it did it. Plus most of them got what they wanted. Skeppy got to protect his friends, Bad has Skeppy now (he isnt really himself, but who is?), Antfrost has what he wants and everyone else too!

Okay my first point might havent been exactly true. Since it killed like a dozen of people back when Sir Billiam was alive. But the egg didnt do it by itsself the people themselves did it. It might have been eating the people but it was Billiam’s and Butler’s choice to do it! They could have just stopped any time! But they loved the egg and continued helping it grow and exist. They must have been so kind. (Billiam might have been killing people but wouldnt he do the same without the egg?) So once again; the egg did nothing wrong!

The eggs plans are even friendly! It just wants to bring them toghether like a happy family! It might use possesion, but the people possesed by it are happy toghether so it doesnt even matter! I mean in the musical ‘the guy who didnt like musicals’ everyone was happy when they all got possesed too right? They where all dancing and singing it was amazing!

And arent the vines just beautiful? Like look at them their so lovely! If you dont like them just look a bit longer and eventually youll love them! Just like how much the eggpire members (and I) love them!

The egg itself looks so good too! It has such a pretty color scheme consisting of; red, red ,red ,red and even more red! Its so pretty! Heck it even makes other people pretty by draining away bad colors and replacing them with the beautiful red shade of the egg!

The egg will even host a banquet and everyone is invited! That never happend before! Like people have thrown festivals but they always excluded at least two people. And they always ended up in disaster! But the red banquet wont! After all no-one can make any more chaos if they have all joined the egg!

So thats my short essay on why the egg is absolutely good, amazing, and the best thing that happend in the server yet!

End note: yeah this isnt serious at all, i just wrote 700 words ab why the egg is good bc i thought it would be funny. Heck i dont even think this thing has any chance to be good i was just bored and wanted to practice lying

[kndrules]

Hi! Fellow 362/1 shipper here! While I can’t speak in the name of all fans, I don’t agree with the view of the previous anon. I don’t particularly hate Lizzie but I don’t like her character, and it has nothing to do with her being fat. I ship Nigel with Rachel because I believe they have a better chemistry together and had a lot of more things in common than he with Lizzie. Their whole relationship started wrong in my opinion, with Lizzie practically forcing Nigel to like her, while on the contrary Nigel and Rachel seemed to bond more and more with every single episode they interacted. It’s just my opinion of course. Everyone is entitled to ship whatever we want, but it really angers me when fans ignore the fact Lizzie has her flaws and therefore people have the right to not like her nor her relationship with Nigel, and has NOTHING to do with her being fat!

of course lizzie has her flawed and made big misteps (mostly just op LIZZIE, her first episode and she developed a lot since then), her being flawed is a big part of why i like her.

anyway, in general, i certainly dont think hating lizzie for being fat or even hating lizzie at all is something EVERY 1/362 shipper does. which is why i dont actually HATE 1/362 its just not for me. the criticisms me and whoever that anon was have are from seeing a general trend over many many years. the general trend doesnt reflect every single shipper, and i want to always respect anyones feelings about things like ships, its just too silly of a thing to actually be heated about.

i hope that makes sense? im not making accussations at specific people- if you know my issues with fandom dont apply to you specifically, then you arent the kind of person i was talking about.

In terms of an objective analysis of canon, i think lizzies behavior is largely justified- but not ALL of it. nor do i think nigel only loved her because she “forced him” to. his reactions to her have consistently been full of genuine love, even at the end of op LIZZIE, he tells her not to do that again (and then she doesnt), but still wants to go get icecream with her. he would have ended the relationship there if he wanted to. her actions in op LIZZIE are by far the worst of what she ever did, and yeah to be fair, its PRETTY bad lol. she was selfish and manipulative and needed to learn a lesson to grow as a person, which i feel she did.

if you have a different interpretation of her than that, thats of course fine. ive been worn out by overwhelming lizzie hate over the years so i get pretty defensive of her, but that does not mean that you specifically are someone i have seen lizzie hate from (granted ur an anon so idk, but im assuming you arent). 

tldr, if fatphobia is a problem in a fandom, it doesnt mean that every person who dislikes a character, etc, is fatphobic or contributing to that problem....but it doesnt mean im wrong about my feelings either. and i want to be able to be honest about my issues w both the fandom and show itself without it being taken as a personal attack...because it isnt.

[chaos-and-recover]

I am not trying to be rude but I actually know more than you do, as someone who works in the industry. Being on tumblr had given you the impression that everyone is a progressive slash shipping fangirl. The CW cares about fangirls just enough for fan service but when it comes to Nielson ratings they care about 18 - 40 year old white men and the old cishet white men who run the network itself. It is a business and they hold the cards. Am I saying that there is a secret deleted scene with a kiss? No. There is no secret episode or deleted makeout scene. (Although yes there was obviously an original script for 19 and 20 that they massively changed because of covid. I think they should have waited because those episodes were really bad but I digress.) What I am saying is several cast members and several episode writers put in subtext on purpose. It is called queer coding. And somewhere along the way, there must have been an audio somewhere of Dean saying I love you too OR a simple me too. Given that the episode was finished filming months and months ago, it was probably sent out then. Jensen was called in for ADR in the fall for 18 specifically. Changes were made. He even admitted they edited his reaction and dialogue. Those are his words. This isnt a conspiracy, it is a fact. The dub itself exists. It would not exist unless there was audio somewhere. In America they could say "oh it was meant as friendship or like brothers" and they could say "oh it is open for interpretation" to anyone who doesn't approve. In Spanish there are different ways of saying "I love you" and "me too" that mean separate things. Somewhere along the way something changed. That is a fact. It would not exist in the spanish dub otherwise. And yes, changes are often made that we, in other countries, dont get for whatever reason. If you want my opinion Dean likely said "me too" or to that affect after Cas left, while he was crying on the floor. They then ADR him crying over it instead. This would explain the weird bird chirping sound in Portugese dubs. In America, it is very homophobic right now. In Mexico, destiel was more openly embraced and even advertised. It is very likely that since Castiel canonically romantically loved Dean in a "gay" way, which the network promoted, which is why they used te amo (romantic), even a simple "me too" from Dean even if it was presented ambiguously would be assumed to be romantic there, where in America it could be platonic. After months of the finished episode sitting in the CW desk, after they realized they were going to have to rewrite 19 and 20, and that Cas would NOT be in the episode because of covid, they made the decision to edit out the "me too" part for coherency going into the last two episodes.

I mean I’m a whole ass adult who doesn’t form their worldview based on Tumblr but sure, tell me what I know. The major networks gear their shows toward 18-40 year old men and that’s why you never saw a gay character on Big Bang Theory or whatever but the CW is literally a teen network, that’s not their demo, that’s not who they’re going for and that’s not who they anticipate is gonna watch Walker.

I’ll concede you know more about the dubbing process if that’s what you do for a living, sure, but I still think you’re wrong, I don’t believe the CW was ever going to make Destiel canon in any market. I think that’s wishful thinking. They had 12 years or whatever it is to do that and didn’t, it would have been fan service to throw it into the last 3 episodes any way they did it.

The conspiracy isn’t even consistent, there’s one arm insisting Misha was in Vancouver at the time 15x19 and 15x20 were shot, he confirmed it but said he was “going camping” or whatever but now they had to cut him out because he wasn’t there for filming? I’m not buying it I’m sorry.

You will not convince me there was some grand conspiracy to cover up canon Destiel that just happened to miss the Spanish dub, do you not hear how ludicrous that sounds...

[1358456]

Review Response, Dec 22 - 28, 2019

“28″, but I’ll be including the reviews that came in this morning. Because hey.

And... there are a lot. The most this year.

Legacy Prologue - Kalos

1) That first part DEFINITELY reminded me of the XY chapter, except Y is being the Hikikomori (shut-in) and X is trying to drag her out... It’s a good role-reversal!

I also wanted it to be like the time in XY where Y found out what happened to her mother and she got super depressed. Except this time, X tries to do something about it. Finally.

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Legacy #008

1) LOVED IT!

Thank you!

2) Poor moon. I loved this chapter

Hey, it’s you! <3 Thank you kindly.

3) WoW cool chapter. So blue confessionele next chapter hopefully? Lol have been waiting on that for the entire story so Lets hope its the case

Haven’t we all. ... Except for those that don’t like this pairing...

4) It’s nice to see platinum trying to help blue move things was a good chapter with nice interactions with the juniors and seniors all under the same roof

It’s like a big Dex Holder family! ... But not too big, since there are far too many of them nowadays! And despite Platinum not really wanting to get involved, she helps out anyways, as “foretold” by the Headcanon Chronology!

5) While Moon really should rest, the idea of her getting that Spirit of Vengeance team you posted about on your Tumblr sounds way too awesome. ...Also Umbreon bias since it's my first (and only) shiny, but yeah.

Poor Blue - it really is probably only going to hurt her the longer she keeps it in. Wonder how that is going to play out, since I guess Platinum's now put things in motion. I think the first scene in this chapter is the one I enjoyed the most.

Damn, for Moon's Pokemon to die like that...that's gotta be traumatizing. I have to admire that determination though, even though she's shaping up to be a revenge-obsessed character from what I see.

Awesome chapter as always and can't wait for the next one!

Hehe. Spirit of Vengeance. The amount of curse in that team would be quite terrifying. Hehehe... ... Only shiny, you say? Aww...

Platinum has gotten the ball rolling despite not really wanting to. MVP of the confession? Hehe... Sisterly bonds, indeed. Now, will it work out in favor for Blue??

Moon can’t be filled with a lust for vengeance if none of her friends and Pokemon have perished. And so now she rises from her agony with ice cold determination for blood to be spilled for the blood that had been shed. ... Or does that saying go the other way around? Heh. Regardless. She’s pissed, has a bow, lethal poison, and soon to be a team packed with ghosts (and Dark types).

Thank you as always! And you won’t have to wait long~!

6) Eh lucky really isnt my cup of tea but the way you write stories is pretty awesome keep up the good work!

I could tell by the anon ID you picked. To each their own. And thank you!

7) Awww blue being so shy hahahaha. Its like the roles have reversed since the first time they met thats so cute! Anyway Great story as usual

Hehe. Timid Blue~! It’s new and very cute, isn’t it? And thank you.

8) Hey man Great story looking forward to the next chapter

Thank you. It’s coming very soon.

9) Wow this is A really underrated story I really like how you keep most characters so in character!

Still underrated... in comparison to my previous stuff. But that’s to be expected, I guess. And thank you.

10) Well Colour me surprised ! A Pokemon story thats not forcing crack pairings! Anyway Where is green in this story?

Heh. Crack pairings... Only once in a solar eclipse. And... who? Heh. He’s in Kalos and thus off screen.

11) Wtf did moons Pokemon just die? Great story but damn thats fucking dark

Yes they perished in the fire. “Die, insect” and all. ... And one of them was an insect! Heh. Ahem. ... Dark? That’s not dark. Have you seen the stuff I did in SA and Destiny? Heh...

12) I mean I kinda like the story but isnt specialshipping canon? Also this is really really dark

No, it’s not canon. What is canon is that Yellow has a crush on Red. What’s also canon is that Red is uncomfortable with the idea. And of course he is. He thought she was a guy the whole time and then suddenly found out all at once that she was a girl and had a crush on him. His response is not going to be positive. And again, this is not dark. ... Though I guess that depends on your sensitivity.

13) hey sorry for not leaving A review for so long but I still really like the story lol!

Hey, you’re back. ... Then... who’s the anon with the v2 of your ID?

14) I love your writing style!

Thank you!

15) I somehow found Pearl smacking Black across the face to wake him up funnier than it should’ve been. Haha

I wonder if Blue really will confess to Red today. If so, I wonder how the opportunity would present itself.

Its quite sad that Hau, Lillie, and two of Moon’s Pokemon died. I guess this is where Moon’s overhaul comes in. I cant wait to see Moon’s viciousness unleashed when she inevitably meets the guys responsible for all that.

I look forward to more!

Hehe. Black always getting smacked around in my stories, literally and figuratively.

Will Blue truly confess on that day (which is a day before the stuff in Alola happens), or will she fail again due to anxiety? And will it end well for her??

Moon’s overhaul is happening now, yes. For that, she’ll have to go to Galar too. And I don’t know sh*t about that region, so... that’ll be difficult. Hehe. And much later in the story when she meets her foe... oho, Rage Unleashed Moon!

16) Moon and Lillie sure get burned really bad. Also, what about the kid with the malasadas? Hopefully, Blue will confessed to Red soon...

The local boy with the malasada had the same fate as Lillie. Two stretchers with a body on top, with the white blankets pulled all the way up.

17) I figured that now would be the best time to give a review for one of your works. therefore, I should review my personal favourite.

I been a consistent and long-time reader for numerous years now without ever leaving a review. I simply didn't have an account until recently just so I can give my thoughts on some of the series that you make.

Regarding Legacy as a whole, it truely showcases your ability to take the wide variety of dexholders and thiee different personalities and place them in situations that would absolutely never occur in the actual story. I have always loved the way you portray each individual character, improving thier teama and strategies and having genuine character growth. Although Sun and Moon are my uncontested favourite characters so far, I adore the way you use Platinum B in your stories, giving her a genuine personality and character traits.

You also generate a wide range of different and creative settings for each of the characters to go through. Legacy is the perfect example of this in terms of one truely coherent story setting. by using the opportunity of the highest stakes that these dexholders may ever face, you use the opportunity to explore all of the aspects of each character amazingly and how they would face this danger.

Since Sun and Moon are my favourite characters, the wait for this chapter absolutely killed me. Although it sucks that due to the lack of reviews for these characters I will get few opportunties to read your way of presenting the characters What I am trying to say is that the way you write your characters makes them feel REAL. I genuinely believe that these are the actual characters as they personalties are replicated and refined to perfection The way both Sun and Moon react in this chapter is exactly the way I would have expected them to. Being a Deliveryshipping day 1, seeing even the slightest interactions in any media, especially in your stories always brings joy to me. I have regulary reread most of your works such as Special Chronicals and Distinct Events becuase each story is chapter is amazing in its own right.

Your amazing work has inspired me to possibly start my own project one day. I am sorry for the stress that you have gone through this year and the issues with the Discord. It will get better this year. Seeing as you use reviews to indicate the popularity of a particular series, I had to write this review so that this series can get the update it deserves so that we can all see how this fantastic story ends. Thank your for all of the amazing work you have done.

Whoa, hello. Haven’t gotten a review this long since a certain someone stopped with Destiny reviews back in July.

Accounts aren’t necessary for the reviews. Guest reviews exist! And if you use the same anon ID, I’d know it’s you. But thank you for going through the effort! It’s much appreciated!

Aww, thank you very much! <3 And while I don’t know about Sun, but Moon is going to be in the spotlight quite a lot, so enjoy it! Since Platinum is my uncontested favorite, she gets plenty of development in my stories, with new character bonds, teams, battling style, etc. And unlike in DPPt, she actually gets to do things against the enemy.

Of the three major stories I’ve written (SA, Destiny, Legacy), Legacy has the lowest stakes. But I think it’s also the most personal, which I guess means it’s much more important for individual Dex Holders. Well, we’ll see as time passes. And yes, these are kind of things that would never happen in the actual arcs, so the Dex Holders get to be stress-tested. How would they react given their personalities, tics, relationships, etc, in a realistic situation?

Oh. ... Ahem. Sorry for making you wait 7 months. Ehehe... And while it’s true that Sun and Moon currently have the lowest “viewership”, that changes as time passes. Like Black and White in SA and X and Y in Destiny. As the “meh” torch is passed down to Sword and Shield, Sun and Moon might rise in popularity, thus increasing the chances of them appearing in my stories.

I don’t really know if this was how Sun would react though. But I also don’t know how he would’ve actually reacted, so this might not be outside the possibility range. I kind of had him act like Black, really, but without being as sweet... or loud. Well, there will be more Sun & Moon interactions for you to enjoy in the upcoming chapters, so... there you go!

You should start your own project! Go for it! And eh, Discord. Sh*t happens. I wouldn’t call that stress. Anyways. Yes, I use the review count as an indicator of how many people have finished the chapter. Of course, there are plenty of people who read the chapter to the end without reviewing, and the number of people who review after reading tends to fluctuate. But if there is a trend, that indicates a trend in viewership as well. And that is what I look at. Hence the charts. And yes. We’d all like to see how the story ends. Me included. Keep up with the reviews and we’ll all see it by 2021.

And thank you so much for the review and the... sweet talking. Hehe <3

18) Just found this story and am enjoying it thoroughly. Big fan of your Blue characterization as well, I used to enjoy shipping Red with Yellow, but recently, I've come to enjoy Blue with Red.

A small nitpick - Did none of the juniors comment on Red and Blue sleeping in the same room/bed while they stayed in Red's house in the last two chapters? I would assume the female juniors already know Blue likes Red and so won't say anything unnecessary, but I guess the guys are a little more tactful than we give them credit for?

Looking forward to me. Cheers.

Red with Blue works very well. And it’s cute! Hehe... ... biased.

Heh. The girls... already know, since the girls who are in the house were Platinum, White, and Y, and they already know of Blue’s crush and all that. So White and Y would just snicker at the fact that Red and Blue are sleeping on the same bed, while Platinum would just smile. As for the boys... Diamond might notice something if he spent more time talking to Red and Blue before and after. But I doubt Pearl or Black would notice anything odd. They’d probably just assume that Red and Blue are sharing the bed because a ton of guests were sleeping in the living room, so there were no other options.

Of course, all that’s assuming that the juniors know that Red and Blue are sleeping on the same bed. I don’t recall having Red and Blue give them a tour of the house, so as far as the juniors know, there might be another bed upstairs. ... Though a house tour is generally the first thing you do, but... heh. Ambiguity. No one knows for sure.

And I look forward to seeing more reviews from you!

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Well well. Would you look at THAT. Way above the average now. So... looks like I’ll have to keep my word and update Legacy again before this year ends in 3 days. Heh. Of course, I did notice a few things but... well... whatever.

18. That’s the most reviews I’ve gotten in a chapter in all of 2019. Or 2018. ... And vast majority of 2017 (Legacy Prologue - Kanto was in January 2017). If this kind of thing happened much more frequently, I would be updating Legacy like once every two weeks, instead of 3~4 times in a year.

But, there you have it! New record in almost 3 years. As a result... Legacy update in 3 days.

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DE #031

1) Sun and moon are so cute. I love them

Support the new...ish pairing!

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And with that, DE #031 is no longer in the top 4 least reviewed. Yay!

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SC #017

1) Awesome story.

Thank you.

2) Well that was...brutal alright. Thugs deserved it though. I'm mildly surprised no one died, but I think that's more because I'm used to seeing that from your old "doom hammer" chapters.

I admit the Santa part was an amusing touch, and I guess that explains why you needed to release this by the end of the year. Heh, Blue's gadgets are useful as always and very effective - that's a nice disguise. That action scene was awesome and easily the best scene in this chapter. The situation aside...it was nice to see Red be a hero even without his Pokemon.

You were right - this is an enjoyable chapter and I like this "brutal Red" experiment. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Heh. The doom hammer is for serious stories. Not comical ones. So no one dies in the hands of Santa Claus. This time.

Ahem. Well, there’s the inspiration for the chapter, and the reason behind the line of “Or Santa will go jolly on your naughty asses with a candy cane axe”. Hehe. Cheers, everyone, Santa has come to town!

And the duo of Red and Blue becomes much stronger. Mercenary Red with technological support!

Hehe. Much more serious brutal Red (instead of comical) to come up later as the experimentation continues. Ohoho!

3) holy crud, santa beating up a gang is greatest thing ever

Yep. Santa going to town on their naughty asses with a candy cane bat. What’s not to love?

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And with that, the latest SC chapter is now in the top 4 least reviewed. For now?

... Looks like the “A Day at Work” chapters are failing miserably, since they’re at 1 and 3 reviews respectively. So... I guess I won’t be doing that again.

And with this, the longest review response post of 2019 has come to an end.

[homestucky]

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

[creativesage]

Photograph by Chaloner Woods/Getty Images          

By Sarah Green Carmichael

For most of women’s lives, our most valuable asset is our career: our earning power. And the best way to increase earning power is to move up the corporate hierarchy.

For example, HSBC recently reported that its gender pay gap is a mind-boggling 61%—not because women are earning less for the same work, but because women aren’t represented in leadership roles. Two-thirds of junior employees are female, but women hold only about one in five senior roles.

So why don’t more women advance—and get the higher salaries that advancement would command? This is a question with a thousand answers. But too often, the one that gets attention is confidence and its related trait, competitiveness. Women, we’re told, lack both.

                                                                                                                           We’re told this by clinical psychologists writing in the New York Times, journalists writing in the Atlantic, even by peer-reviewed papers published in prestigious journals. We’re told this by well-meaning bosses, mentors, even friends.

There is just one problem.

Many of these arguments rely on data gathered from teenagers—stories of adolescents that psychologists have treated, or data from high-school-age subjects.

While there is evidence that teenage girls are less confident than their male peers, the gap between adult women and men shrinks to a sliver, and there is a fierce debate among researchers about whether even this small gap exists. Analyzing more than 200 studies—for a total of nearly 100,000 study participants—the University of Minnesota’s Kristen C. Kling and her colleagues found in a canonical study that the adolescent confidence gap shrinks markedly by age 23. Other research has found that while there may be a small—again, small—gender confidence gap among adults, this is because men rate their abilities more highly than their performance would warrant. In other words, women aren’t lacking confidence—men are overconfident.

One of the biggest landmark studies on gender differences found no innate differences at all, other than a handful of physical differences such as the distance men can throw a ball.

                                                                                                            If we want to understand the real reason that more adult women aren’t getting ahead in organizations, we need to stop looking for answers in the hallways of high schools. We need to look for answers in the research conducted on living, breathing, adult women in the workforce.

Look there, and what do we see? That women get less credit for the work they do, especially when they collaborate with men. That women ask for raises just as often as men, but are less likely to get them—and when they do get raises, they get smaller pay bumps. That women who are mothers have their commitment unrelentingly questioned (even though research on academics has shown that mothers are more productive than non-mothers). That women are less likely to be referred to by their professional credentials when introduced by men (but not by other women). That women’s mistakes are typically judged more harshly and remembered longer.

You may have read that women don’t brag about their accomplishments because they’re not as sure of themselves. But the real reason is that people often penalize women who boast.

You may have read that women are less likely to apply for jobs for which they’re not 100% qualified because they lack confidence. But when someone actually surveyed women about this, the top reason they gave was that they thought job requirements were, well, requirements and they didn’t want to waste time on a fruitless application. (This was also the top reason given by men.)

You may have heard that women don’t bounce back from setbacks because we’re perfectionists who judge ourselves too harshly for failure—but in fact, a study of executives who missed out on top jobs found that the experience crushed women’s confidence in the hiring process itself, not in themselves. Fewer women were willing to try again because, they said, they felt they had only been recruited as tokens to make the finalist pool look more diverse.

Again and again when we look at adult women, we don’t see a bunch of shrinking violets who could get ahead with just a little more moxie.

We don’t even see problems that confidence can solve.

What we see, and what the data tells us, is that women and men are treated differently, and that this differential treatment results in women consistently getting less pay and fewer promotions. This inequality compounds over the course of a career and the hierarchy of a company: Going up the corporate ladder, there are fewer and fewer women at every level. This is how we end up with a gender wealth gap that is even larger than the wage gap: For every dollar owned by an unmarried man, an unmarried woman owns just 32 cents. Bank of America estimates that by the end of her working life, the wealth gap will have cost a woman $1 million.

So yes, to the extent that there are adolescent girls out there suffering from an undue lack of self-esteem, let’s fix it. But let’s stop using the confidence gap as an excuse for the lack of women at the top. It is a myth, and a costly one.

[Entire post — click on the title link to read it at Barron’s.]

[magalamantle]

SO THIS IS... a really long post of a bigass ask meme, all the answers, about a fallout oc!!! ummm for warnings. #violence #alcohol #alcoholism #drug abuse ?

IM LIKE INFINITELY SORRY if this is just long, and the whole dash, on like, mobile or anything, i got carried away and had a lot of fun with it um,,,,

OK SO TO START OUT a quick summary of this character: marion tremblay, 26 years old, they/them pronouns, a courier six (but i might write them into a non-six role idk) with Sight Gone Wrong. imagine savestates, but the character only experiences the "canonical" ie last save. so they go from neutral to knowing exactly how to process a situation, but it causes a LOT of stress on them, including an incredibly distinctive negative feeling when a "save" occurs and nightmares depicting all the plays gone wrong. in addition, the successful path isnt always harmless, and often leads to heavy injury - just not death. not to mention the fact that the successful path doesnt always help people theyre trying to help, just them.

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles5/carpy-hairstyle7.htm

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles6/hairstyle-carpy12.htm

marion is incredibly stressed and doesnt get it, runs into danger and knows exactly what to do, doesnt know why, doesnt understand how it all adds together, and doesnt understand to maybe take it a little slower. then again, when they try to chill out and live normally the nightmares just get worse and worse. so basically they self medicate to dull the dreams a bit and it just makes everything even more stressful.

theyre a courier/jack of all trades/mercenary type that uses a recharger pistol, and has no self of self preservation. is struggling, indulges often, and is impossibly easy to charm. does things for the fuck of it, anxious, hesitantly affectionate, eventually very protective and supportive, childish and constantly tired lol.

anyway heres the questions!!!

Which Fallout game are they from? new vegas :Y

Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? they end up joining the ncr - they have plans and intentions to go for a free vegas, but realize eventually that the ncr is probably a lot closer to a safe vegas than they were before. kind of insists that the people get a say in things.

DOES have enough time to basically fuss with all the families on the strip and various societies - basically destroys the omertas, takes a long time and a lot of trauma to fix the situation of the white glove society, keeps house alive but out of power which basically really fucks marion up for a long long time, they then spend a million years slowly working their way into the brotherhood of steel to try to get them to kind of... not be involved anymore, same with the khans

they dooooo clear out vault 3 entirely though

What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? str 4; per 8; end 5; cha 4; int 7; agi 3; luk 9. peep that luck bro

Give us a summary of their backstory. OK SO... marion was part of a pretty biggish family closer up north, just kind of, they did business and were vaguely well off. they were always pretty pretentious and loved reading books n shit, tinkering with tech, so their parents were v happy with it. then around the age of thirteen their sight started kicking in, which manifested itself at first as just like a really heavy uneasy feeling whenever something was about to happen, and later kind of... worked itself into what it is now. anyway, they didnt cope very well with it and ended up fucking up a lot of relationships and things when they booked it at about seventeen.

at which point they kind of became a jack of all trades, constantly travelling, settling generally in the mojave. courier mostly at first, then eventually also a mercenary when the business started booming. they constantly had like, at least a couple dozen things going on, so occasionally they would forget a job or two. but considering their sight, they more or less had the ability to go into places that literally no one else could and come out bruised and bloodied but alive. so generally? business was good.

they did a lot of putzing around the strip, helped the followers a bit, etc. just generally has a little bit of history in most parts of the mojave.

after they got shot they forgot some... importantish things, but anyway they eventually fucked off, got ed-e, wandered around, rescued raul+visited him until they eventually just invited him along.

What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? marion tremblay - a quebecois name basically, uh pretty much their family line came from canada pre annex and were bitter about it.

What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? theyre nonbinary, just kind of, everythings a mess. nothing is definite. they have bigger stuff going on lol. just accepts whatever theyre labelled, but will explain if pressed

Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? uhhh technically they have... some sort of flashbacks, from their sight, that gives them really horrible nightmares. they definitely self medicate its pretty bad. of course they dont really associate their habit of running into danger with their anxiety and attacks and shit, so they basically end up dissociating and confused most of the time, and figure thats just the way it is. and drink. gestures

Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? nah marions got nothing. theyre surprisingly physically healthy considering the fact that theyre basically useless physically

How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? they care just as little about bathing as most people in the mojave, but appreciate the ability to wash their hair - comb it pretty regularily. it gets really bad and knotted if they dont

What do they fear the most? their shitty vision failing to manage to do anything for people they love. its done it before

They’re biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw? their total lack of self-preservation and knowledge of self. like theyll do unhealthy stuff and get totally confused why they feel like shit, dont understand that running into things carelessly is what is making them constantly anxious and depressed, and they think that their inability to talk to people is what is fucking things up

What are they most insecure about? they pretty much lack any insecurity. they know theyre pretty bad at talking to people, but theyre not so much nervous about it as just dont really like doing it

What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders) most bugs actually. since their sight kind of just keeps them from dying, it usually keeps them from dealing with deathclaws at all - but hanging around cazadores and getting poisoned just kind of means downing so many bottles of water and antivenoms, and it fucking Hurts. plus they just find the way they move really really disgusting lol

What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus) mnmnnmn pisces sun. taurus moon. 

What’s their Myers–Briggs Type? (ex. ENTP, ISFJ) infp lol

What Harry Potter house would they be in? (ex. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw) gonna say hufflepuff because theyre a big softie when it comes to people they actually do like

Which Pokemon Go team would they choose? (ex. Instinct, Valor, Mystic) uh probably instinct? i think thats the yellow one right? 

Out of the nine forms of intelligence (rhythmic, spatial, linguistic, mathematical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential) which one(s) are they really good at and which one(s) is(are) their weakest? theyre really good with math and rhythm - not quite as good with interpersonal stuff, or intra for that matter. they dont know shit about themself lol. theyre really good at science stuff in general, though - comes from fiddling with that sort of shit

What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil)

im not too good at pinning down characters, but honestly somewhere between chaotic good and true neutral. will help people, sure, for a price - or if they seem really really desperate. dislikes copious rules but wont go out of way to topple rules so long as they seem more or less fair

Do they have any hobbies? What are they?

they play harmonica! they like to think up songs, make harmonies to the songs on the radio. when they were little they liked to fuss with math puzzles and science shit but lost a lot of the focus as their sight got stronger, stopped being able to sit still long enough to really work on stuff. they like to fuss with ed-e sometimes lol. upgrades n stuff. polishin him

Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it? when marion was more into consistent courier-ing, they liked pretty much any holiday that people sent gifts to each other. good for business, it was nice to see people so happy, PLUS people always tipped really well and gave them free food n stuff out of thankfulness.

What’s their favorite season? autumn, mostly - most fair weather. loves the winter when theres no storms or anything - nice to wear lots of layers of clothing and have it be appropriate.

Do they have a temper or are they level headed? pretty level headed, but when they lose their temper they sound kind of ridiculous because their voice gets really high and they??? talk like???? this?????? and theres a lot of gesturing.

they dont really so much lose their temper when they go into combat situations simply because they tend to go from zero to everyones dead, pew pew pew. it does happen sometimes in really tough, long situations, but as it turns out being angry doesnt really make your laser pistol shoot any better or harder Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings? theyre so un-in-tune with their own feelings that they tend to not understand why or what theyre feeling. so its not so much hiding as like ????!??!!?!?!?!?

Are they a leader or a follower?

a leader out of necessity.

How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make? creepy. first impression is generally that theyre very businesslike, probably too frail to complete a job. “whys this person being so nice when they look like they want to eat me”

Do they prefer to travel alone or with company? Who have they traveled with if any? Current companion if any? they basically never travelled with a companion until recently. started traveling with ed-e, basically just because he makes sounds when things are happening, eventually found raul and after a good couple times of going back to him to get their laser pistol fixed just kind of invited him to come along. didnt realize he wouldnt be able to fix their pistol on the way lol

Would you describe them as selfless or selfish? Does it depend on the situation? they have the ability to be pretty selfless for the most part since theyre pretty well off from all the work they did before getting shot in the head. on the other hand, theyre not really used to hanging out with other people so theyre kind of selfish when it comes to food n stuff, at least until they got sassed enough for it

What do they find most attractive in others? Name at least one psychological and physical trait. (doesn’t have to be romantic attraction) they usually like people with silver tongues and wide shoulders

Do they flirt often? How easily do they fall in love? they basically do not flirt. they dont register flirting, either. its pretty easy to charm them, but marion is not... a charming person

What’s their love life like? Are they interested in anyone or in a relationship? listen i made the with the almost exclusive purpose of dating raul so. interested lol

Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence? diplomatically. they generally dislike having to actually, be in danger, but theyre really not charismatic so it usually ends up resorting to either violence, or very well-backed up threats

What is their combat style? What range do they prefer? Do they sneak? they are TOTAL SHIT at sneaking, for like no reason. theyre just... really not athletically inclined. their strategy is usually run and gun, dont stop moving, ABS - always be shooting. turns out when you have a rechargeable gun and the luck of the devil, it doesnt matter how many bullets you take as long as you win lol

What weapon(s) do they always carry with them? recharger pistol!!! they also carry a tiny bowie knife just in case. mostly used to cut plants off stems and cut meat off things. its a whole experience

Their most prized possession? pretty much everything they own is replaceable. the harmonica is nice, cause it pretty much still works entirely, but its definitely not super special or anything. theyd still sell it for a nice meal though

Their thoughts on power armor? a nice idea, but full heavy armor makes it kind of difficult to travel large distances, especially over mountains n shit

Favorite armor/ outfit? gecko-backed leather armor, plus a shitty hood they slapped on top of it. they think it looks so cool, plus its plain enough that its comfortable. they really want a tux lol

How’s their aim? Do their hands shake while pointing a gun? a gun? yes. a laser pistol? no. the second things have like, physical bullets in it, they get super stressed. using lasers instead of pistols or bullets allows a certain level of, like, disconnection from the situation.

What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Or do they shake it off rather easily? they really hate it. but honestly they get worse nightmares if they dont keep doing things, like constantly. they prefer to not really have to kill people, so tend to like... threaten and bluster their way through things pretty often. they wont chase down a fleeing enemy unless theyre really super in the zone

Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it) definitely fear. they pretty much cant die, so theyre pretty confident about it, but its mostly because they manage to disconnect so much from situations that it basically just gives them night terrors. like i said before, complete disconnection from their own emotions. basically a whole lot of marions problems could be fixed by accepting that maybe running into danger is a bad idea, even if they basically cant die.

tl;dr, they think they accept it, but 100% fear

Do they move around a lot or prefer to have a place to call home? they move around SO much. marions pretty much been on the move since they turned 17, constantly doing just about anything they could get their hands on. a million jobs all at once

What’s their favorite location? the strip. they pretty much used to spend most of their spare time down there - loved the food at the ultra luxe, the booze n drugs at gomorrah, and the music company and games at the tops. a couple days of throwing caps down the drain, followed by doing a bunch of odd jobs in the area is a good way of spending a whole week. then, once they had enough messages and packages and people to kill/find, theyd take off again

Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral? marion kind of sees themself in feral ghouls. impossible to kill, but at what cost, etc etc. very angsty. thinks ghoul voices are actually kind of pretty

Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them? combination. scavenges what they can, buys the rest. when youre as lucky as they are when finding bullets and bits, you definitely have enough caps for everything else. since theyre shit at repairing, they always get their equipment repaired while out

Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track? they definitely amble. long term plans are definite, but when you have maybe five jobs happening at once it doesnt hurt to step aside and grab a new one on the way

How do they sleep? Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere? they tend to get themself pretty blitzed to be able to sleep with few dreams. as a result they can pretty much sleep anywhere, but theyre pretty fitful about it

What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse) they used to like butcher pete but got pretty tired of it after a good, long amount of time. now they think aint that a kick in the head is super funny. since they got shot in the head.

theyre okay with literally every radio station, but likes black mountain radio a lot even though its a lot weirder than it was before. theyre really not sure if the people on the radio are uh ok but uh. makes it a point to eventually check that out.

What’s their favorite post-apocalyptic food? Are they a picky eater? Do they know how to cook? they fucking LOVE fresh fruit - trail mix is a huge fave, nd theyll pay pretty much any amount of money for it, especially since it keeps pretty well. theyre also a fan of like, gourmet shit, since they have the money to spend on it. good steaks are nice. theyre pretty picky, but they usually have a pretty good supply of long-keeping foods to eat on the road. they cant really cook that well though

What’s their favorite beverage? Do they drink alcohol? vodka is a fave. gets them real drunk real fast. a long time ago they managed to trade for some nuka-cherry and its basically their favourite thing in the whole world??????? has a weird distaste for sunset sarsaparilla and gives it all to raul

Do they have any tag skills? energy weapons, science, medicine. really good with e.weapons, more than decent with science, pretty good with medicine. mostly out of patching self up.

Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads) Caps Lol. nah but really they pick up anything that seems interesting to sell. they do have a big intention to buy the unique recharger pistol but its never in stock whenever they go to the kiosk

Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them? theyre pretty shitty at getting traps, but their luck is amazing with it. they can pretty much walk through a minefield just fine. like running through is safer than trying to disarm, because when you run through a minefield you either die or you dont - when you try really delicately you might blow some important bits up, but you wont die lol