#what do i need? is an easier question than why do i want it?
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ೄྀsome of you STILL don’t understandೄྀ
you must get comfortable in your god state to really succeed
ೄྀPART I | STOP NEGOTIATING WITH THE 3D
To get comfortable in your god state you need to understand that it is you ALONE that manifests. Stop consuming and spreading misinformation, you don’t have to “meet in the middle”with the 3D for your manifestations.
“If you want your dream bod to be manifested you have to stand firm AND workout”
“If you want to manifest clear skin, it’s good to visualise but you should also be focusing on skincare”
“If you want to manifest good grades you can affirm but you actually have to study”
“You can’t expect to manifest when you aren’t bothering to do anything in the 3D”
bullshit. absolute bullshit
although it’s important to still take care of your necessities, there’s no such thing as meeting halfway for your desires. If you think that you don’t understand what manifestation is. And with the assumption that it is, means that you don’t understand your full potential. As soon as you think of a desire it’s yours, no negotiating needs to be done with the 3D. All you have to do is stand firm.
Why are you making deals with the 3D?, “okay, okay if i workout in the 3d and manifest my dream body in my 4d it will come” that just isn’t needed
“okay but it does help things move faster” “it does help things become a little easier” nope, still wrong!
you don’t have to lift a finger for something that’s already yours. never. same goes for inducing pure consciousness, you don’t have to spend hours saturating your conscious mind in order to shift. You can have the worst day and still induce pure consciousness because that’s all it is: a state of consciousness.
ೄྀPART II | EVERYTHING YOU DO IS PERFECT
To get comfortable in your god state you must also understand that you’re doing it all right. Stop asking dumb questions, you’re doing everything correct. The fact that you rely on bloggers to tell you if you should do this or that as if they’re your god shows that you don’t truly understand (and it’s getting really frustrating).
“will i still be able to induce pure consciousness if I lay on my side rather than in a starfish position?”
“do i have to affirm?”
“what if i don’t do this one blogger’s method to the minute details, does this mean i won’t shift?”
asking stupid questions like these confirms that you still don’t understand the extent of your power, you still don’t understand who you are.
And if you don’t understand, you will never progress, treating this like a chore that you have to perfect is where you go wrong. As a god, everything you do is correct, you could even induce pure consciousness by standing straight up and singing heavy metal at the top of your lungs, because what ever you say goes.
Stop sitting back up after minute 5 of it “not working” to check if you’re doing that method correctly. Why does you living your dream life depend on other people’s rules, are they the gods of your reality or is it you?
And you do know this still counts as you putting the void state on a pedestal? There are people who find out about pure consciousness and induce it that same day. Get your head in the game.
1: You don’t have to lift a finger for your dream life
2: You’re doing everything correct, you are “I AM” trust that and you’ll induce in no time
Both of these things, negotiating with the 3D and asking if your doing it right in YOUR OWN reality are signs that you don’t trust yourself enough. Learn to actually trust yourself and accept your fate as a god and you’ll have everything you dream of
NOW GO GO GO, GO GET YOUR DREAM LIFE
🍵🪷To understand and succeed you must trust yourself
#salemlunaa#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#permashifting#void state#loa#law of assumption#success story#the void#void concept#respawning#pure consciousness#loa tumblr#loablr#shifting consciousness#shifting awareness#god state#i am state#the void state#void#void state tips#voidstate#desired life#desired reality#shifters#shifting community#manifestation
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circuit breaker 🔬🌌 (part four)
tutor!jayce talis x reader, ekko x reader college au
content: jayce ghosts you when you need him most...so you have no choice but to lean on your best friend, ekko
pining, mental health mentions, neurodivergence, lmk if i missed any!
notes: ekko pic...omg... (you may think this series is going slow but i hate a slow burn ass fic that has them fucking chapter three don't pmo...also this evolved way past just jayce and i need to do ekko justice...bc some of yall don't, clocked it)
word count: 2.9k
series masterlist
⭑·゚゚·*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*·゚゚·⭑
“Do you know that girl Jayce is always with?”
You arrived to class, ready to learn—but not about physics truthfully. You expected to cut corners, create friendly conversation about nothing, humor Viktor. When you got there, though, you had to ask him immediately.
“Mel Medara?” Viktor looked to you with intrigue. “I know of her…but not much about her.” He leaned to his left, toward you, “Why?”
“She’s just always…around? And we spoke to each other once but I was in a hurry…didn’t get much chance for a formal introduction.”
“Are you certain that your intrigue is rooted purely in your inquisitive nature…or is there another reason you want to share?”
“No-“
The sound of the door towards the front of the class opening interrupted you—it was perfect timing, actually. You would rather not have to unpack why Mel’s presence bothered you so much; truthfully it was an inexplicable feeling. Someone walked in, and you sat up straighter.
“Hi, everyone! My name is Caitlyn, some of you may know me if you’ve ever been to the student resource center.” She smiled at you, exchanging a look of recognition. “I wanted to formally introduce myself… I will be joining as a TA. If you need anything and can’t get ahold of the professor, you can ask me your course related questions.” She moved to plug a laptop into the projector, “Here is my email for future reference.” She allowed some time for people to copy and take photos of her email down. “Unfortunately, today’s class will be canceled for an emergency…but I was instructed to relay to you that the quiz will still be held next week. It’ll be on vectors and calculating their angles. Be sure to refresh yourselves over the weekend and reach out to me should you have any questions.” People started to shuffle around her, getting up to leave class. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, guys. Feel free to use the space to get some other work done, or leave early.”
“What the fuck, this was such a waste of my time.” You glanced back towards the board, making sure you got the email address right. “I have been so tired I could be sleeping right now.”
“I’m sorry, I know you have a lot to deal with right now.” Viktor moved to the end of the aisle, grabbing his cane while slinging his bag over one shoulder. “At least you’ve been in tutoring. The quiz this week should be easier, right?”
“That’s the thing,” you reached for your phone, “We’ve only just got to vectors so far. That was hard enough.” You hovered your finger over Jayce’s contact, never actually having messaged him. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you started texting him.
hi jayce
im sorry to bother you but i have my quiz next week and its gonna be on more stuff than we got to in our sessions
do you have any time to meet with me this weekend? if not thats ok, i can ask my friend
You paused, walking behind Viktor without looking up from the phone screen.
i just need you
No, you shook your head, continuing the text.
i just need your help
lmk
ty
You grimaced at the text bubbles, hating how you split all of that up. You imagined his annoyed face, seeing all of these desperate messages. You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t answer. You wouldn’t answer you.
Viktor turned to you, “Are you alright?”
“Yes, just frustrated and irritated and angry…thats all.”
“That’s not a great combination.”
You shook your head. Without trying, Viktor could always cheer you up. “Unrelated, but did Jayce ask you about what snacks I eat?”
“He did,” he looked over at you, “It was odd. He said something about ‘reinforcements’ for your guys’ tutoring session.”
“Oh...okay.”
Viktor would call himself a lot of things, including perceptive. He didn’t say much, but he noticed the way your eyes lingered on one another when you first met. He was aware of the way you spoke about each other, especially when it was just Viktor around. He simply arched a brow at you, observing your concerned look at the phone screen.
“Maybe you should take the weekend to rest and recuperate.”
“I would…but the quiz-“
“Just for today. Wait for Jayce to get back to you. Then you can focus solely on next week.” He nodded reassuringly.
He returned the nod, liking the sound of the plan.
If only Jayce had bothered to answer.
——————
“Hi.”
“Come on in.” Ekko stepped back, letting you into his dorm.
“I know it’s so last minute, but I know nothing about angles …figured you could help.”
“I absolutely can help and would love to.”
You sat your stuff down, getting comfortable as you’d done dozens of times before. You turned a corner, washing your hands at the sink before heading to grab a throw blanket from Ekko's bed.
He knew your habits, calling from the living room area. “I have the heated blanket out here, too, if you wanna use that one. Know you get cold.”
You exited his room, wearing the slippers you left under his bed. “Once again, you are the best…because I am, in fact, freezing my ass off right now.”
“Want something to drink?”
“Always.”
The two of you were so in sync—it had to be that way after Powder. It became worse when Vi blamed you, suspecting one of you said something to her to make her disappear. Even though you know you did nothing wrong, there was still a self-hate there. That you couldn’t be there for a friend who needed you—so much so that she left entirely. You couldn’t do that to Ekko, he felt the same.
“So,” you pulled out the folder Jayce had given you, a slight frown on your face at the thought of him completely ignoring you. “I have this paper, its like a cheat sheet for vectors…but besides what Jayce told me I don’t know what to do. The TA said we also have to calculate the angles…that makes no sense.”
Ekko grabbed his notebook, flipping to a blank sheet of paper. He sketched a makeshift drawing—surprisingly good for how quick he’d done it. You were always in awe of his artistic talent.
“Okay, so here…is a light pole.” He moved his finger to the other side of the paper, motioning toward a little drawing of you, smiling on the sidewalk. “This is you.”
“Wait I’m so adorable here!”
Ekko chuckled, side eyeing you a bit, “Yeah…”
You snatched the pencil—quickly drawing in a stick figure of him. “This is you!”
“Is it really? Couldn’t tell.”
“Hey-“ You swatted his arm, “You’re identical in my opinion.”
“If having lines for a body is identical…then sure. But anyways…not the point of my sketch.” He grabbed the pencil back, “Thank you very much.” He flipped the pencil, using the eraser side to show you the details. “Okay…light pole…you.” He smirked, knowing you wanted to interject. Ekko raised his hand before you could, “This is the distance between you and the pole.” He made up and wrote a random number in feet under the bottom, the same for the pole. “This is the height of the pole. This is all you need to find every angle and distance measurement.”
The look on your face was one of pure confusion. “How does that make any sense whatsoever, Ekko?” You moved to close the book. “Actually, lets just watch a movie instead. I’m prepared to fail at this point.”
Ekko grabbed the book from you, reopening it. “Well, I’m not, so let’s get to work.”
He continued, explaining as best he could. It was no use, though, it just wasn’t making sense to you. You nodded, trying to get him to move on to something else.
“Does that make sense?”
“Yeah.” You reached to hug Ekko, “You’re the best.” Pulling back, you plastered on a smile, hiding the discomfort. You didn’t feel ready whatsoever. Suddenly, Ekko grabbed your hands, pulling your attention to him.
“You’re gonna do great.” He lingered on you for a while, “Promise.”
The doubt you felt made you want to hole up and skip class altogether. Eventually, it developed into a disdain for Jayce. When you thought about it, he was the reason you were going to fail…again.
——————
You decided against skipping class on Monday, but you were definitely opting out of that damn tutoring session. If Jayce can’t answer a simple few texts, how were you to know you even had a standing appointment anymore. It made you feel less than worthy of a proper notice. Above all, it just felt plain unprofessional…he’s an employee after all.
Walking into class and into this quiz felt like a walk to your execution. Midterms were quickly approaching, which meant you only had so many quizzes you could fail before the majority of your final grade was tainted by bad ones.
Viktor greeted you as normal, moving over to give you a seat. “Are you prepared?”
“As best as I can be.”
The beauty of college was that you did assessments in class and got the results as soon as you submitted. Knowing you would get your score back in the next few minutes had your stomach churning. An image of Jayce, carefree and nonchalant, popped into your head. Nothing was making sense. Reluctantly, you started choosing random answers—disregarding the calculator altogether. Before you knew it, your grade, a 56%, reflected back to you.
“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself. You closed your laptop, getting up to leave class early. “I’ll see you later, Viktor.”
Before he could reply, you were gone. Pushing through the door. You grabbed your phone from your pocket, texting Ekko.
im done early, wanna meet rn?
He replied a few seconds later.
omw
You picked up the pace, not out of urgency, but in pure frustration. Everything you’d been working towards wasn’t paying off. The time you spent not being with Ekko—with Jayce—was a waste.
When you arrived to the dining hall, Ekko wasn’t there yet. You took the time to grab both you and him something to eat for lunch. Within minutes, Ekko showed up, that warm smile on his face as usual. He leaned into you, giving you a side hug while simultaneously grabbing the food from you.
“How was the quiz?” You didnt reply, simply giving him a side eye. “Damn…I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault…but thanks for helping.”
He’d seamlessly changed the subject—allowing the two of you to talk without the reminder of your failure that day. You didn’t acknowledge how fast the time had passed and truthfully, didn’t care. You hadn’t planned to show up to tutoring…much less give Jayce any notice.
To your right, you suddenly heard a voice, interrupting you and Ekko.
“Hey.” You looked over, seeing Jayce standing there. “I figured you’d be here.” He looks between you and Ekko, hands now on his hips. “You missed our session.”
You raised a brow and crossed your arms over your chest. “Wow, really? Didn’t know we were still having those.”
“Of course we are, you have those quizzes-“
“Had.” You interrupted, “There was one today. You’d know if you checked your phone.”
He looked down, embarrassed at his phone sitting in his front pant pocket.
“I’m sorry- I know this is important for you but something came up.”
“What? What came up?” Ekko spoke up.
Jayce turned to look at him, finally acknowledging his presence again. “Something personal,” he looked away, focusing back on you. “Can we talk alone?”
Ekko spoke again, “Say what you need to say.”
“I would, but I’m not talking to you.”
A screech of Ekko’s chair resounded in the dining hall. You reached a hand out, gesturing toward them. “Ekko, please.”
Ekko looked over to you and inhaled a deep breath. He was looking at Jayce again, but kept talking to you. “I’ll see you later, okay? Call if you need anything.”
“Wait- Ekko-”
Jayce gulped, sitting down across from you. You watched Ekko leave as Jayce took his seat, hands resting on the table.
“What the hell is your problem? You ghost me then show up here with an attitude? I should be pissed…I am pissed! I failed because of you!”
He nodded, knowing the weight of his being inaccessible. “I’m sorry.”
“You said that.”
“There was a personal thing, a family emergency-“
“And yet, your phone is still in working condition.”
You didn’t want to be insensitive, but it takes seconds to reply. A simple message would’ve sufficed.
“My mom’s sick.” You froze—remembering that it’s just him and his mom. “She was in the hospital all weekend…it still hasn’t gotten better.” He paused, looking at you now, “I thought I owed you to at least show up today.”
“Well…now I feel like shit.”
“Don’t. Not your fault I didn’t tell you what was happening.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Hope she gets better?”
You reached over, placing a comforting hand on his, “I can do that.”
He let you linger there, before pulling back. “How about this week, since I messed up so bad with scheduling…we meet as much as you’d like just so you can be ready. Shit, it can be every day if you want.” He nodded, “We’re gonna make sure you pass this class if it’s the last thing I do.”
“Are you sure? I can be pretty high maintenance…”
He leaned back in his chair, a nonchalant yet playful look on his face, “Not worried about it.”
“Okay.” You shrugged, “If you say so.”
The pair of you exchanged smiles, not at all prepared for how tumultuous this week would be.
taglist
@juskonutoh @sseleniaa @aerina127 @sleepysoldier @angelicmisty @1800latenitecreep @venus-in-roses
#jaggedamethyst#jayce talis#arcane jayce#jayce talis x reader#jayce talis x you#arcane x reader#arcane#jayce x reader#jayce league of legends#jayce talis x y/n#jayce talis arcane#jayce x you#ekko arcane#ekko x reader#ekko league of legends#ekko
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You say that gamers should buy something else if they don't enjoy a series or franchise. But to me, this is contradicted by you also saying that gamers would rather get angry instead of leaving. I don't get what you are saying here. Are you implying that gamers are too incompetent to find something else?
It's not contradictory at all. What people should do and what they want to do are often not the same, usually because it is easier and feels better to do what they want rather than what they should. My friends tell me they should go to the gym and exercise regularly, but they want to play games on the couch. They aren't incompetent, they knows how and why to go to the gym. They just don't want to, in large part because it is easier and more pleasant to play games on the couch than it is to go to the gym and exercise. Going to the gym and exercising regularly requires significant effort and actual action on their part. Staying home and playing games on the couch requires significantly less effort and action.
It is a similar situation for gamers entrenched in a franchise. The franchise is familiar and comfortable to them. They've already played it a long time and generally liked it. When things go sideways, it's easy to complain and get angry. It's easy to post angrily and make memes. However, the chances of getting a positive response to these complaints is practically nil. It often takes weeks, months, or even years to address the issues that players complain about if the dev team chooses to do so at all. In the meantime, there are new games regularly getting released that may serve a player's needs better than their current franchise du jour. Trying and playing a new game will achieve better results than complaining and doing nothing. However, this requires more significant effort and action on the player's part - they have to get the new game, install it, try it, learn the new foibles, and see if they like it. If they don't like it sufficiently, they'll have to repeat the process. Instead, complaining about the game they were playing and used to like is much easier and requires almost zero effort. The path of least resistance is often the most popular.
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why is namek like that
i had a namekian specbio post drafted but along the way i got distracted with the namekian sky, so im just jotting down a bit of my thoughts about how a namekian solar system and planet atmosphere might work. most projections arent particularly stable, its no surprise they had a severe ecological disaster. we know namek has liquid water, and is an earth-like enough temperature for bulma to be comfortable there, so everything else is kind of bending around that. this super cool article by sean raymond talks about how you might make a no-night planet work. luckily no other planets are ever specified to exist in namek's solar system (to my knowledge) which makes this a lot easier! generally more stars = less planets, so im imagining that namek is the only planet in its solar system.
this is raymond's three star system diagram! in this model though, the planet actually does experience night, but only once every 600 years. im satisfied with this, as we get the information about namek "always having at least one sun in the sky" from dende, who's 8 years old, and likely just hasn't experienced or heard about namek's night yet. there's a lot of fun worldbuilding potential here! supposedly grand elder is only around 500 years old, and given that within his lifetime there was a catastrophe great enough to nearly extinct their species, it's possible that no living namekians know that their planet has a night time. but if they have, it's probably some huge legendary event, and is probably associated with porunga in some way since that's the only time the vast majority of namekians will ever experience a dark sky (do namekians have religion? holidays? questions for later...)
so COOL a three star system works! (as long as you allow for these substantial aus, anything for eternal sunlight..) however due to dragon ball rules we're working with a canon year of only 130 days. this is kinda problematic for a habitable planet like namek. shorter orbital period = closer to the (main) sun. given that there are already two extra suns shining light on this definitely liquid water having planet, this seems like we might have to do some magical hand-waving, which makes me sad because i find that boring. but its at least fun to think about what the magical logic is instead of just saying "eh it works because magic", so i wanted to try that! since the dragon balls operate on their own magical logic they might have a skewed definition of what a "year" can be classified as (and a year is pretty cultural too, right?). also, why do the dragon balls take a year to be able to be used again at all? (aside from plot reasons) like... what are they doing? with the dragon balls on earth, it was kinda easy to presume that they were "recharging" or that the dragon himself needed some kind of "rest", and that this process just so happened to take an earth year. the translations i could find were kind of vague on this, so im taking advantage of that vagueness. being about 1 au from the sun in this model, namek's "year" as defined by how long it takes to orbit its central star is about the same as earths (a bit boring, sorry) ! and the time it takes the other two objects in its system to make a full rotation around their shared center far far exceeds that, so i kind of don't think theres any justification to define a namekian "year" as 130 days other than that being the time it takes for the dragon balls to recharge, which makes perfect sense to me culturally! i mean, given that there are three suns, surely the amount of time it takes for your planets magical wish granting dragon to start working again would be a much more meaningful unit of measurement than the time it takes your planet to complete and orbit around your smallest sun (oh god what are namekian seasons like. probably fucked. another question for later). also from my wikipedia skimming it looks like alpha centauri's planet (assuming its a planet) has a similar orbital period to earth's too. its nice to have some real-life justification 👍
theres more to say about that but im moving on from this part for now. i just wanted to provide justification for a namekian year being however long it needs to be in order for namek to have three suns and still have liquid water.
i wanna talk a bit about the planet itself. namely: why the fuck is the sky green??
almost any other sky color could have some non-poison gas explaination except green. DAMMIT!! but its fine we can make it work. (also the plants are blue. which is actually a lot less problematic but i'll talk abt that later) im referencing this artifexian video for my information here btw 👍he gives a few ways that a sky could appear green but we kinda have to rule out all of them here except for something green being physically suspended in the air, because there just isnt any light/atmosphere combination that makes the sky look green to human eyes. since krillin is a human whos just so super wicked strong he can also fly, id be fine hand-waving breathing a green gas or dust for him and gohan, but. bulma is on that planet too... breathing away... also there's pretty clearly grass on this planet and like, brown earth. so mars like dusty skies dont make a lotta sense either. so i guess artifexian's sky-algae idea will have to work ! as horrifying as the implications are .... either these guys are just straight up breathing in green stuff all the time, or the algae is somehow suspended too high up to be inhaled. (also sky-algae would explain why the planet looks almost gaseous from space)
luckily bulma doesnt seem to be having any problems breathing it that green stuff, but like pollen allergies its easy to imagine that someone would be. which is kinda fun to think about actually. someone having an allergic reaction to the namekian sky, validating bulma's concern about breathable atmosphere would be a lot of fun... BUT I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT FOR NOW !! i have other goals in mind. i just wanted to record this "namek's sky is green because theres guys in there" concept somewhere. also, three suns at various levels of rising at setting at all times, while not portrayed in the anime due to technical limitations, would almost CERTAINLY mean namek would have a really cool variety of sky colors! just all tinted green because of the sky algae. of course sky algae doesnt need to be green all the time, nor does it need to be in the sky (or alive) all the time. maybe the green skies are new post ecological disaster? very fun to imagine pre-guru namekian skies....
#i was curious about namekian biology mostly for gay reason at first if im being honest#and that just sort of snowballed/“if you give a mouse a cookie”-ed into me figuring out stuff about all their other biology#and then their planets ecology and then the planet itself and then their solor system. u get it#its still for gay reasons btw#i wanna write gohan having a creepy gay fascination with namekians and i guess that means i have to have one myself#oh my god i love aliens so much i miss doing specbio. i was never very good at it but i miss it#i probably repeated myself a lot i kind of jus wanted to get this bit out of the way so i can talk about the bits of namek ecology#that i actually wanna get to#dbz#namek posting#<- maybe filter this tag if u think ur gonna get sick of seeing this kinda thing on ur dash 👍
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Oh yeah! As a sculptor, Polaris probably knew better than Karme about the importance of choosing the right material. The witch's curious mind began spiraling about all the minerals he used in the mystery box to fix the statues of his boys. He wondered if Polaris could work with any of those and how many other types of crystals and stones he could make art out of.
He probably would've started asking questions about that too if he didn't get so flustered. Something about hearing that their date was meant to be no matter what made Karme feel like he never had before with a guy: secure. Even the way Polaris held his hand made Karme feel more grounded in this moment than he usually did with others. "I'm glad I get to be this version of myself with you on a date. Because this version of you is really really great, and this version of me likes him a lot and wants to know everything about him." His sentiment wasn't nearly as philosophical or romantic, but Karme was earnest in his fascination, which he knew was enough. That's why he felt good about himself around Polaris. The elvhen bard didn't seem to want or expect Karme to be anything but himself.
Confident was a good word to describe what he was feeling, but he still stammered out a few intelligible utterances. "A second date?" he practically whispers, his face flushing again. Sure he could hint at what he wanted, but the direct approach to his words had a way of making butterflies dance in his stomach. This was his chance though, a chance to be smooth and maybe, finally, seduce Polaris like the way he seemed to do without much effort. "Well we need to have one, don't we? I want to get better at flirting and you … well you…" Karme's voice dropped to a hush as if someone would overhear and judge Karme for saying something dirty. "…you haven't eaten me raw yet. So we need to have another. My treat. We could fly somewhere, or have a date among the stars. A date in the night sky is romantic, right?"
Karme didn't know how Polaris could be so bossy yet charming and still never make him feel judged. It was getting easier to push the voice of doubt about how real this date was away, but arriving at the studio made it significantly harder to ignore. "Your studio is close to the water?!" he exclaimed. Karme used to love the beaches of Genovia, so having to watch them get overrun by mechanical structures over time broke his heart. He got excited whenever he went to a place with a view and the windows here looked really big. "I do. I mean—" Karme looked at Polaris and started thinking about their previous conversation regarding this place. He cleared his throat as he felt a little hot under the collar. "—you have to show me your art. I want to see what you're capable of. Plus, wouldn't it be better if I already felt comfortable here when you sculpt me?"
It wasn't Polaris's first brush with the sort of energy that Karme was talking about, though the term witcher wasn't one that Polaris had heard until this age. They seemed widely hated and whispers of the process surrounding them were a far cry from what Polaris had previously understood. In Iskaldrik, children were tortured and those who survived had the great privilege of short lives spent being widely hated by the nation they served. "The right material for the right function." Polaris summarized Karme's statement, lacking in any fundamental surprise that Karme had
"In my experience, the Wheel doesn't want for anything, it's people who want. I think if we both wanted to, we'd have ended up on this date regardless, in the last turn or the next." Polaris believed that people were meant to find one another so long as they wished it to be true, when that ceased, so did whatever hand people took as fate.
"Is this... Are you asking me out on a second date? One kiss and look how bold you've gotten." Polaris all but tutted as he led the way, one foot in front of another while Karme vibrated beside him - completely energized in juxtaposition to Poalris's calm demeanor. "I'd like to see it firsthand, but I don't want to wait for it to become yours for our second date, so you'll have to fly me somewhere else."
When they came to a stop, it was in a high-windowed building facing the sea. There was no clear view of the Tower, or Potentia, just the open tides and everything that lay ahead. "This is it," Polaris stated evenly, "still want to see it firsthand?" He didn't wish to pressure Karme and the night hadn't been without its events.
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reframing "out of the blue" or even unwanted craving/longing for things as "unmet needs" has been really helpful for me.
#like understanding my desire to engage in kink is a need for structured intimacy that hasnt been met.#then i can look at it like ok how can i address this need even if i cant completely fulfill it rn#what do i need? is an easier question than why do i want it?#newt needs a text post tag
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im really sorry if this question ends up being repetitive: but, if not for bruce’s over reliance on dick to regulate his thoughts and emotions, why would dick grow up into feeling like he needs to repress his emotions so much and his eagerness to act as people’s support? i know youve spoken about wolfman and his altering of their relationship but if ntt is generally an accurate portrayal of an adult dick, to me this nevertheless sounds like the consequences a parent-child relationship where the responsibilities are titled too much towards the child
i suppose this could also segue into asking for recs that would help me better understand your interpretation of their relationship 👀
not repetitive at all! to me the irony of wolfman's depiction of dick lies in that it is simultaneously something you can logically ascertain from prior canon but not for the reasons actually presented by wolfman. if that makes sense. he does extra work that isn't actually necessary to help explain why dick would act the way that he does because there's plenty of reasons for it without rewriting his history with bruce to have always been suppressed and edgy and dark. to me it makes far more sense to capitalize on the inevitable disconnect between bruce and dick as an adult and a child. batman: full circle is a good example of that dichotomy (and although it was published in the early 90s it built on mike w. barr's prior understanding of the relationship between dick and bruce that he wrote into the early 80s). bruce's primary concern for the people he works with is never standards or finesse but safety. he worries constantly about others coming to harm under his watch and with a child in particular those worries were exacerbated. he ran a tight ship not because he believed dick had anything to prove but because the only way dick could keep being robin was if he went about it safely. that was obv easy for an adult to understand. but not so much for a child
to bruce these worries were practical and par for the course (as well as an expression of his love and protectiveness) but for dick their consequences formed the crux of his entire world. as a child he idolized everything about bruce. his heroism. his work ethic. his skill. his resolve. his preparedness. if dick couldn't live up to the standard he set for himself in idolizing bruce then what could he ever hope to amount to? that was the thought constantly going through his head. and it's why the bulk of his childhood and primary tenure as bruce's partner was so precariously protected by the fact that nothing bad ever really happened during it (and admittedly this framing is convenient because even chronologically speaking nothing very significant happened in their history with each other until dick left for university in 1969) (i know dixon opted to write that whole shtick with dent in his version of events but personally i never found it necessary to do so). there is enough there in the idea of dick working hard for the course of a decade to embody who he believed bruce to be that lends itself to it eventually being difficult for him to healthily express himself once the rift between them actually began to emerge
because what about bruce was there to actually see that was broken and dark before dick became an adult? i know a lot of dick fans hate batman #408 because they don't like that it enforced "retirement" upon dick (which i personally believe is a conclusion they come to because of the way batman #416 re-framed the same scene) but to me that's an inaccurate reading of the text. batman #408 was about bruce (admittedly far too belatedly) recognizing that he could not in good conscience continue to ask dick to go out and be a vigilante on what he considered to be his own "orders". he viewed dick's close call with death at the hands of the joker as something directly of his own making. although their tenure with each other had been wonderful if dick wanted to continue to be a vigilante it had to be on his own terms and of his own volition. obv that was logical to bruce and it was something dick managed to accept in the moment. but it's still hard to go from always having a purpose alongside someone you idolized to finally being entrusted entirely to forge your own
in general i like the idea of dick the adult becoming privy to all of the personal problems and conflicts that come with being a vigilante. he was conveniently shielded from a lot of those problems as a child because all he had to do was be bruce's partner and hope to live up to the title. bruce had no reason to trauma dump on him or talk about his worries and concerns at length with him because it was never supposed to be dick's job to field those worries and concerns in the first place. he was a child. the only thing bruce wanted to do was to help channel his emotions through an outlet and provide him with a home to grow up in. but when you become an adult often that dynamic shifts. you're still not responsible for fielding those worries and concerns but you can perhaps be trusted with them. that's why i like the framing in batman #408 of dick now being a man. it's a subtle way to frame the double-edged sword of adulthood. the world is in your hands now but so will be the horrors that come with it. coming to terms with the real world that bruce lives in should be hard for dick. coming to terms with who bruce is when he's not perfect should be hard. coming to terms with how quietly bruce kept his grief because he did not see fit to overwhelm a child with it should be hard. that dichotomy of dick both wanting to be bruce's brother and his son should form the crux of their conflict with each other because you can't hope to be someone's equal and someone's protected at the same time in that kind of relationship. for dick to transition into the position of equal he has to expose himself to the fact that bruce is not in fact an idol but someone irrevocably human. and that should interfere significantly with his head and his own standards for himself
#all of this to say. i don't think it's so much about pre-ntt canon directly predicating ntt-dick's characterization#like it's not these events happened in the 60s and 70s so that's why he acts this way in the 80s#it's more the opposite. because these things Didn't happen in the 60s and 70s. that's why being on his own in the 80s is hard#dick wants so badly to be bruce's equal and an adult and a leader and someone trusted by others#but those are all things easier said than done. and the worst tragedy of it is that the bruce dick knows from childhood#is not the bruce he knows in adulthood. they are from the same person. but they are still different#because there are things dick is allowed to see as an adult that bruce spared him from when he was a child#and on one hand that was the right thing to do. but on the other hand it's devastating. because dick obv doesn't know how to cope#how do you cope with the fact that your decade-long idol is not in fact what you made him up to be#(and the thing is it's not that bruce isn't what dick made him up to be) (it's that he's also other things)#(he's sad. he's guilty. he's exhausted. sometimes he doesn't know how to go on)#reconciling with those realities should be unbearable for dick. because being robin has given him so much purpose#and while being batman gives bruce purpose too there are also so many times where he absolutely bends under the weight of it#and that sight should be frightening to dick#that's why i really like knightfall. or the potential of it because i mean prodigal did not deal with the aftermath of it#in a way that i liked at all. it was quite underwhelming#and then you guys obv know my issues with the framing of dick's reaction to jason's death and his conversation with bruce there#but the idea of dick needing to cope with bruce being a human capable of breaking under his own imposed duties is impt#and so my reading of their relationship is less about things written explicitly in text and more about drawing logical inferences#idk. i feel like i am all over the place i'm not sure if this sufficiently answers your question i'm sorryjgfkldghf#outbox
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why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?
#this is a genuine question btw I need advice bc I'm STRUGGLING. idk why everything makes me frustrated and angry#when I'm around my parents and it's SO hard to be kind and respectful to them and my sister#but so easy literally everywhere else#I hate that I'm like this I wish I could genuinely be a nice person but apparently the person#I REALLY am is the horrible selfish lazy brat I am with my parents.#even though it feels 100% easier otherwise APPARENTLY the real me is the one I revert to at home#but being nice away from home comes so naturally?? so is THAT the real me??? idk what to do I'm so frustrated right now#Lu rambles#can my mutuals please weigh in bc I feel like a terrible horrible emotionally illiterate person rn#bc of a conversation in which I fought with my mom over the fact that I have a hard time respecting my middle school aged sister#bc I don't want her (bold. confident. sometimes a little bit of a brat as well bc humanity) thinking she can walk all over me#the way she acts always makes me feel like she thinks she's better than me but maybe it's just my mindset. bc I KNOW#that my middle schooler sister IS better than me in most ways and I HATE that. how can someone#so much younger than me be better than me at basically everything she sets her mind to?#and how can I ever have confidence in myself when I know that's the case??? it's so frustrating!!#ugghdnfnsngsmkgnskfnskd I need advice and prayers. and probably to go to bed early tonight.
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like idk how else to say it anymore but there is a REASON that a lot of terfs are sexual assault survivors and it's specifically BECAUSE those women come pre-loaded with a severe and easy to exploit fear and distrust of men
#if you are terrified of men bcs you were hurt by one#it's a lot easier to listen to the seemingly nice ladies telling you that you're right#and all men do want to hurt you#and you have to protect yourself and other women by any means necessary#than it is to recognize that living with a debilitating fear of half the population is unhealthy#and the fact that you were hurt is NOT justification to do further harm#like trust me I have really bad anxiety that makes me scared that like fucking everyone could hurt me#it's hard to unlearn that#I'm not excusing the behavior#but I understand why these women find what terfs are selling comforting and easier to believe#is bcs they are enabling their unhealthy trauma-informed coping mechanism#until the person in question is spewing transphobia convinced they're doing what needs to be done to protect women#and like this isn't the only way terfs grow their numbers#but it is one way#and this is why I'm so insistent that an intense hatred of men is a terf dogwhistle
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When I start having a panic attack about visiting my family I know it's time to go to sleep immediately no ifs no buts
#like ohhhh ok essay can wait for the morning it's sleep time now#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh girl save me i don't want to go there aha#like haha what will i do wrong this time? doing nothing is also doing something wrong. you must always be doing something to#avoid the wrath. but anything you do can also lead to doing it incorrectly and that will get you punished.#wrong question. wrong tone. a mistake. wrong order of activities.#and hey if you manage to do it all just right? if you take care to never make a mistake to avoid prying eyes to do everything#that needs to be done before you begin to do something to ensure that you'll do it just right with no mistakes on the first try#because you know what happens if you don't; if you manage that; well then YOU will be wrong#your existence; your looks; the way you've changed; the way you haven't. you're nothing. you're not a person.#you're something that must always look a certain way and act a certain way. I'll never be a son but I'm my mother's daughter#and don't you know that a daughter's only purpose is to be everything her mother always wanted to be?#her copy but better; a sort of manufactured god; but she's the deity so what does that make you? you're an offering on the altar#and hey if you manage to be all that; then she might love you! which of course translates to 'she finds you useful'#'she finds you infallible' 'she finds you adequate' 'she finds you productive enough'#'she finds you a good tool to achieve what she's always wanted'#but you have to keep it up. you have to always keep it up. I'm an orphan boy and it'd be easier to be a daughter.#but what does it matter i suppose I'll get hit either way. what does it matter I'm not good enough either way.#i could never be good enough for her to like me. i wonder where I've gone wrong. i would say 'i should have tried harder'#but i have no idea what the thing i've failed at is. i keep asking 'what did i do? what did i do? I'll be better I swear I'm sorry.'#but there is never an answer. there's just me begging like a fool and a bunch of people telling me i deserve it.#just a bunch of people saying that is exactly why i deserve it. that it's not even that bad. What's one exorcism between family?#isn't that right? What's a hit what's a beating what's a death threat; amirite? it's nothing a good daughter shouldn't bear with grace#What's a few insults what's controlling your medical appointments what's constantly shifting the rules of the game?#all just things i am supposed to take better than i do.
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genuinely expecting to fail my first class in college!! and its like as much as i can get upset at myself for continuing the cycle of procrastination that ive been trying to break free from for years, i also feel like the reason im primarily upset is because i feel like im disappointing others and/or giving them a bad impression of me. like im not upset because i think i could have done more, im upset because i think other people will think i could have done more. when like honestly with school ive just developed an "it is what it is" attitude, like all i can do is try and try again, and if that means taking eng111, crashing and burning, but most importantly learning, then taking eng111 again, so fucking be it
#hey its much easier to edit than to start writing so why dont you just get those thought down#on the page and then you can come back and edit them tomorrow#i was going to schedule a meeting with my academic advisor to ask about the logistics of retaking the course this semester#but of course the school is switching the platform contacting advisors is through this week so i cant really do shit#i also need to look into getting accommodation :sob: i just havent yet...#but i was actually looking at the forum for it today and one of the questions was like “what common difficulties do you have with school”#and one of the choices was “writing/expressing my thoughts”#and it just made me start to tear up seeing that acknowledged as a difficulty#because to be honest i feel like im always over-exaggerating/making up struggling in that area and it never feels like something that i can#get help in#like it feels like it is my own problem my own fault there is no way for someone to help me because the problem is just with me and it is#only if i try that it will actually be solved#but idk#looking at it man#i do try#like i do think there is some truth to improvement only happening if that person is willing to improve#like basically i have observed that like someone trying to change my behavior with punishment and stuff is never effective#and like its not until i take initiative to make changes for myself that change will actually happen#but like now seeing trouble expressing thought being recognized on an accommodations forum#it makes me consider that maybe this isnt something i can only overcome on my own#i feel like its like “oh i have trouble expressing my thoughts/writing” but then its like “then what the fuck is this post”#and like again i also question if i over-exaggerate/fake my struggles#but its also like ive been writing this post for almost an hour now#i consistently struggle with writing assignments because it is so hard to make sense of where i want to go#my thoughts feel like tangled ball of yarn that i cannot get down on the page because i dont even know what theyre trying to say#i would talk more but#i should just work shouldnt i :sob:#((but is also like i always tell myself#but. i never do that. because its like i know that there is something i could say and something im trying to express but i dont know what i#is
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One hell of a team | In-ho x Wife!Reader |
Summary: You will follow your husband anywhere.
Warnings: S2 Spoilers - Violence - Different back story for In-ho - Blood - Death - Use of (Y/N) - Reader gets called "love" -
The Frontman, the man with the most power within the island, to who the guards obey without question.
Was currently trembling under his wife poited look.
"You want to enter the games?" You asked him, your tone cold and almost jugdmental.
In-ho calmed himself down. It was an idea that stayed with him after the death of the Chairman and even mor with how player 456 had insisted the last two years in finding them. He had played before and won, he knew how terrible others could be, he had walked out like a new man, used the money for himself and you. Never really gave much thoguht on how life were lost.
But, for some reason he wanted to go again.
"Im going with you"
His glass of wishky fell onto the floor, the loud crash did nothing to bother you while you ate.
"No, thats not happening. I need you here to control the games and guards" In-ho started trying to get a valid reason to why you defenetly should not come.
"Oh, you need me to? Well I need you here. With me. With our family. How do you think I would do seeing you there ? I still remember how you got when you came back from these the first time"
"That was different" The Frontman said taking a deep breath "I wont be just one more player, it will be like when the Chairman went in"
"That still does not ease my mind" (Y/N) responded "Till death do us a part and follow you anywhere" you recited showing him your weeding ring. "Remember?"
In-ho felt his chest got thight at the sight and the memory of the small yet full of love weeding you two had back when life was more simple.
"Alright, you can come with me. Its not like you would wait for my approval" he responded smiling at the end "But no one must know that we are married, you understand that ?" He added now serious
"Of course, its what makes more sense, we will just casually meet there and see how it plays" You nodded to him "And please, better clean up that glass before someone steps on it"
"On it, love"
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
For the most part pretending not to know each other was easier than expected. While you knew the guards knew who you two were you were still a bit scared. Specially during the green and red light, since both of you had got separated and now you were froze in your spot.
"You need to move" In-ho said from behind his arm playing along "Follow me in the next sing, alright? Just take my hand"
"Im scared, im sorry" You said feeling guilty over wanting to be there with him and starting to fail on the first game no less.
"I know, I was too. But im here, just follow me"
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
You had to hide your smirk when he pressed the circle to go on with the games, you knew he would do it just to piss off Player 456 and make things more cahotic.
He went with the rest and stood besides you trying himself not to smile at you.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
The first approach to Gi-huns team was tense to say the least. You two had voted circle and even worse In-ho had been the vote that ended the tie.
But with his own charisma and yours you two got to be on his good side.
Till In-ho decided to talk, really you sometimes forgot who sassy he could be.
"And some picked umbrella?" He asked faking suprise when he had seen it on first hand. "Most of them died I assume"
You could see the look on player 456 and decided to be more sensitive
"Hey, dont be like that. Im sure they went in blind and did not know what it was about" You said keeping a safe distance so no one would think you two were together or knew each other before the games.
In-ho was having too much fun.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
That first night they both were in their respective beds. Still keeping their false relationship. However once (Y/N) was sure all were asleep she went towards In-ho who was awake like he knew she would be coming to him.
"Are you alright?" He asked in a whisper, worried that for her this would be too much.
"Im fine, I wanted to see if you were fine"
He nodded not saying a thing but taking her hand.
"Also, I saw you break that fight, really ? When did you even learn to do that ?" This made him smile and hold her hand thighter "Really! I only see you in your office all the time"
"You think I would come in here without knowing how to defend myself or you?"
She smiled at him, blushing in the dark. "No....I just thoguht all you did was be in your office and give orders"
In-ho rolled his eyes "Just wait till we are out of here, i will show you just how fit im"
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
The six legs game was both a chaos and funny. Honeslty you could not help yourself on hugging him and player 456 (who was slowly getting on your soft side) as you saw a team win.
However the shoots that came for these who did not survive were too much. You would swear In-ho gave the guards a cold stare because you would flinch sometimes.
"Hey, dont worry they wont shoot the ones who havent played" Player 456 reassured you with a calm tone
You nodded, knowing that even if you lost they wont shoot you or In-ho. It was still sweet to see him trying to calm you down.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
"Not a word" He said during the night when you two were able to talk again.
"I was not going to say a thing, but you did in on purpose or were you really missing ?"
In-ho closed his eyes knowing you would later get the recording of him missing during the game and use it against him.
"It was all planned" he said trying to sound as convincing as he could.
"Whatever you say Honey"
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
The game of making pairs gave you nausea because of the carousel kept spinning around. And the rounds were stress again. The worse part was getting separated from In-ho who find you seeing how two players were dragging you so they could have the number they needed.
You havent see him get that angry in years, his protective self being on as he pulled one from the neck and punched the other one.
He kept punching almost forgetting there was a game you two were supposed to play.
"Leave him we still need two more" You urged only for a guard to shove two confused and scared players besides you and In-ho.
"We got them" He assured getting your hand and going to one room.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
"In-ho!! (Y/N)!!" The worried screams of Gi-hun filled the place as he looked for both of you.
Even if he had promised to try and dont get attached to new players and survive he could not help but feel a connection with both of you.
"Gi-hun!" In-ho's voice called making him look over and see him coming towards the rest with you by hand something that made him curious but decided not to ask.
"Im glad to see you two alright" Gi-hun said seeing just a few bruises on you, and noticing blood on In-ho knuckles.
You catched his eyes and went to explain "He saved me" you told the rest looking at them then at In-ho who was looking back at you "I would have not made it otherwise"
The look of love you two shared was so genuine, some wonder if you two were together but trying to be discrete to protect yourselfs.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
"They will most likely attack us tonight" Gi-hun explained as he showed the fork the guards had left when the food was given.
The idea only assented itself when the men returned from the bathroom, with blood on them.
"And what do you propuse us to do?" In-ho asked all of the Xs were in a circle trying to listen to what Gi-hun had to say.
Gi-hun told the others his plan, honestly you thoguht it was nusts, it wont work. They were far suprassed on numbers but you had to shut yourself up.
You could tell your husband was both amazed by it and even kind of respecting it. Or at least that what he showed to him. He needed Gi-hun's trust after all.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
"Hide well" In-ho said besides you in a low tone "We can trust the guards but till they get here we cant trust the others"
You nodded knowing that very well since this was a typical phase of the game for years.
"We will be safe" You said holding his shoulder. "Do what you have to do, dont worry about me" You tried to make him feel at ease but he could not. The only thing that scared him more than anything were the other players trying to get to you.
"Just hang in there" He responded his forehead against yours.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
The fight was on its hot spot. The players were killing each other without a second thought.
Nothing like living it, even if you have seen this type of thing multiple times. Its was unnerving to see them just going at each others troath. The screams and cries were too much for a moment, the dark did nothing to help.
Thats when you felt it. Someone had dragged you out from under the bed and was now on top of you. You saw the player move their left hand ready to Strike at you. You tried to punch and defend yourself but the person on top was too strong.
A cold scream left your mouth as the fork pierced your shoulder.
You could not help it, the adrenaline and anxiety was getting on you.
"In-ho! In-ho help me please" You screamed for him, your husband the love of your life.
"Shut up, the next one will be your neck" The person said and for a moment you saw it. Dying in here and leaving In-ho.
Till you felt the person being pushed and the screams of them. You blinked trying to make sense.
It was In-ho, he had taken the fork from the player and was now piercing the neck of the player, not even leaving a chance for them to survive.
"GO HIDE NOW!!" In-ho ordered, he being scared himself and angry. He saw red when you were dragged and it was for the brutal grip Gi-hun had on his arm that he did not move faster.
You did as told getting under another bed and making sure no one could reach you.
"You fucking scum! How dare you lay hands on my wife" In-ho almost screamed too angry to see that the player was now dead. All his face and hands where covered in blood.
"Stop it!! They are dead, we need to continue the plan, the lights will be back soon" Gi-hun said taking him and pulling him away from the dead player.
"Get (Y/N), and be ready" Gi-hun told him trying to keep himself calm even when he was close to jump over and save you and In-ho. He wondered if he had hear it right, you were his wife?
In-ho did not waste time, searching for you in the dark till he noticed you. He went quick, pulling yourself out from the bed telling you its was him.
"Shh shh its me, its over dont cry Love" He said trying to make you feel better.
"In-ho?" He nodded and you cried harder "In-ho I was so scared"
"I know love I know, just a bit more alright? It will be over soon. Listen once the guards come in and we follow Gi-huns plan do not come. Someone will come and get you"
"Im going with you, im not leaving you in a bullet fight!"
"You know nothings gonna happen to me, I want you here, safe, alright?"
Finally you accepted.
"I love you In-ho"
"I love you too Love"
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
As In-ho had said when the guards got back after the fight one took you, Player 120 tried to protest but was put back in her place by other guard.
"You are under suspect of have been part of the riot. You are now eliminated from the games"
The guard said playing his role, starting to get you out of the room while you screamed following the act.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
"Apologies Madam, orders from the Front Man" The guard said bowing once you two were outside and out of reach from the others players.
Even if you were still breathing hard you nodded. "Dont worry, just take me to him". The guard nodded.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
He knew he was needed in the control room but refused to let you alone like that. He went to your share room, his heart broke at your image, bruises and blood over you. A guard was checking your shoulder but left after he order them to.
Silence fell over both of you as he went to you and hugged you careful not to hurt your shoulder.
He removed his mask to look at you properly.
"Im sorry, I should have never let you come, I should have stopped this sooner" He said with pain in his voice
"Dont blame yourself, I told you I was going in with you. This was not your fault In-ho" You reassured him feeling sad and worried over him.
"I cant not blame myself" He gently passed his hand over your cheeck "You are the best thing in my life and I almost lost you because of my own desires, never again"
You two kissed softly grounding yourselfs. You two were safe and together nothing else matters from now. Only the love and devotion you two had for each other.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
#squid game imagine#squid game x y/n#squid game x reader#front man x reader#the front man x reader#in-ho x reader
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EDIT: if this post has made you think about whether or not you are autistic, im really glad! i hope you get some better understanding of yourself and are able to find community and support
however before you go and tell a therapist and seek an official diagnosis please read this thread and consider the points made therein:
autism is highly stigmatized. be fully informed about what you gain and what you lose from having an official diagnosis before seeking one.
EDIT OVER ENJOY THE POST
people do correctly identify that laios is autistic fairly often but a lot of the reasoning begins and ends with his special interest and social difficulties, but honestly it goes far deeper into the build of his character than just those two things
his pain tolerance is wildly inconsistent, unable to tolerate a drop of hot oil (or any heat) but able to shrug off both his leg being bitten off and it being reattached
hes sensory seeking in the extreme. he rubs the bat bones against his face, pets and fluffs the shapeshifter tail.
his desire to eat monsters comes from three very autistic places. 1) the rules for why monsters are not okay to eat but animals are are arbitrary to him so he cannot follow them easily: he cannot understand the 'feelings' argument others make. 2) this too is a sensory seeking behavior. he wants to experience these new things, new flavors and new textures. 3) it completes his knowledge of the monster in question to also have data on its edibility. because he cannot draw that arbitrary line around all monsters, he wants to evaluate them case-by-case and see if real patterns emerge. butchering and eating the monsters improves his knowledge of them greatly and highlights their importance in their ecosystem, as well as making him a part of that same ecosystem
he cannot emote the way others expect him to. he compartmentalizes his feelings (to an unhealthy degree) because he needs a pragmatic solution. so as long as there is a problem to solve, that matters far more than evaluating his emotions and allowing himself to experience them. while this is also a coping mechanism for ptsd, it is a trait found in many autistic people regardless of trauma, as we have trouble sorting the feelings we have and often need time to think about what we feel, so it becomes easier to simply not do it and pretend we dont need to. laios emotions certainly affect him, with or without his processing them, but others do not see what they expect to see and thus dismiss that he is feeling what they would feel
he is incredibly gifted with pattern recognition, observation, and analysis within realms he understands. to understand subjects that dont come easily to him, he must filter them through his established schema (his special interest--this is why they are so special! they help us sort the world). when he isnt sure about the social cues and details hes observed in the shapeshifter arc, he filters it through the lens he understands best: monsters. he was making correct observations about his friends all along, but he could not be confident in that the way he was about their behavior when it came to his interest (chilchucks caution, senshis passions, and marcilles carelessness)
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Part 1
Gotham New Rogue 2
It's been a few weeks since Danny started to become the Trickster. To be honest, it is working very well. His core is expanding fast as ectoplasm is regenerating faster than ever before. He is also slowly developing new abilities and gaining more control and powers to his already established abilities.
For instance, Danny used to struggle making clones, but now he can easily create dozens of them with just a thought. He can also change his clothes to whatever he imagines using ectoplasm now. His ice power is also stronger and easier to control. His superhuman body is developing and slowly getting stronger and faster.
Overall, Danny will say that make a smart decision to become a rogue especially since no one has caught him yet. Danny is currently laying on top of a building watching the sun slowly set in the horizon. His stomach suddenly grumbles and he decides to hit the shack before he gets to "work" tonight.
Jumping off the roof, Danny lands and walks to the nearest Batburger while still wearing his rogue suit. He has a totally funny idea today and it involves him being seen in public. Entering the Batburger is like entering a library for some reason. As soon as he enters, everyone goes deathly quiet.
Danny slowly walks towards the cashier and orders his food.
Danny: 5 sets of set C please.
Cashier: Ermm, that will be 60 bucks.
Danny: Here.
After paying for the food, Danny gets his food and sits at one of the tables alone. It's only after he is through his 3rd set that reality is set in for the people. They begin to move and contrary to Danny's expectations, approach him to ask for pictures. Danny allows them some pictures and unknowingly raises his status as Gotham's friendliest rogue.
Suddenly, a white man that screams rich guy, a woman with blonde hair and a black guy wearing Signal's merch approach him. Danny has learned a lot of things from his 14 years of life and 2 years of half life and Danny knows when a rich guy approaches you, it's never good (Sam doesn't have the rich vibe).
Rich guy: Hello Trickster! May we have a meal with you?
Danny: Sure.
Rich guy: Ah, how rude of me. My name is Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. These two are my friends, Stephanie Brown and Duke Thomas. You can call me Tim by the way.
Danny: Sure, Tim.
They sit opposite him with their meals and try to make small talks with him while eating. The trio realize that Danny seems to respond a lot better when Steph or Duke is the one to ask the question.
Steph: So, Trickster. Why don't you like my friend here?
Duke: Way to go in being subtle, Steph. Why not ask who is he really next?
Steph: Hey, I can't help it you know. He seems so snarky whenever Tim asks questions. I wanna know if Tim pissed him off or something.
Danny: He is rich, right?
Duke: Err, yes?
Steph: Let's say he is. Why does that matter?
Danny: I hate rich people. And government. But who doesn't hate the government?
Duke: So, eat the rich?
Danny: Yes.
Steph: Cool cool. We are also here just so we could leech him off anyway. We're not really friends.
Tim: Ow, you hurt me by saying that. What happened to our vow of eternal friendships?
Steph: I cross my fingers.
Duke: I lie.
Danny: Hahahaha. You're like my friends.
Tim: You have friends?
Danny: Of course I have friends. And unlike you I don't need money to have friends.
Tim: Sorry sorry. Are your friends also rouges?
Danny: Wouldn't you like to know? Last I need is Batman investigating my friends. I'm sure Batman is part of you rich people group chat or something.
Steph and Duke: *Snickers*
Tim: *Glares at the two* Why would you think Batman is in contact with the rich people?
Danny: Isn't it obvious? Batman has all these high tech gadgets and is always there fast whenever a Wayne is kidnapped. I would even say Batman is being sponsored by the Wayne.
Danny: I also don't like most heroes in general. They are just the government lapdog doing whatever the government wants.
Tim, Steph and Duke frowned at that statement. From the way Danny speaks, it is clear that he has some history against the government. Him being here also means he is at least confident enough to run away if any of the bats are here. Is it just blind confidence or a truly competent ability will remain to be seen.
Tim is just about to refute him when Danny suddenly stands up. All of them tensed up and ready for battle when Danny turns towards one side of the window, waves and disappears right in front of them. They are very confused and when they turn towards the direction Danny was just looking at, they see Batman and Black Bat right on the rooftop across the building.
Batman and Tim nod to each other and they all return to the caves.
-Batcave-
Tim: So you all hear the conversation right?
Dick: Except at the end where the sound becomes blurred for a moment, we hear everything.
Tim: Good. So what are your thoughts on this?
Damian: It is pretty self explanatory Drake. He has a personal hatred towards the government and that extends to all bodies of government or people he thought is connected to the government.
Tim: But why though? Is the hatred towards the government something as simple because he is a criminal? Or is there something else towards it?
Bruce: There is nothing to find about him currently with our limited resources about him. Return to the manor for today and take some rest. We will investigate it later.
All of them return to the manor and rest for the night.
-2 weeks later-
The Trickster is standing in front of an unconscious and tied up Batman. He is giggling loudly that evolves into full blown laughter.
He takes off Batman's belt and starts to pull out stuff one after another. Soon, he found the item that he needed.
Trickster: Hahahahahahaha. I have finally got it. The strongest weapon in the world!
The batfam that is watching the live broadcast shiver as they watch Trickster holds out the black object high in the sky.
Part 3
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In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman
Luke Castellan x Apollo kid!reader
word count: a little over 1k
summary: you’ve had your heart broken many times, maybe the Hermes boy will be different
You have only ever wanted to be loved. For whatever reason you haven’t had much luck. Sure, there were many guys.
Callum from Ares. The only thing hotter than him was his temper.
Ryan from Hephaestus. He would forge copper to make you jewelry, little did you know three other girls had the same gift.
Ezra from Athena. Always thought he was so much smarter and better than you. Made you want to shoot your arrow straight at him.
Aiden from Hermes. A liar who couldn’t take anything seriously.
Elliott from Ares. Was dared by Callum to lock you in a dark room. And he actually listened.
Being the child of Apollo had its perks, but it more often had downsides. Your least favorite being your ability to fall in love so easily. After Elliot you swore off falling in love. A pain even you couldn’t heal. You couldn’t understand why nothing seemed to work out for you, you were a dreamboat!
A beautiful daughter of Apollo who glowed like the sun. Not only were you his daughter, you were his favorite, the hundreds of freckles on your face proved it. You were kind and generous, always willing to take in an injured camper from dusk to dawn. Your smile quite literally lit up a room. Perhaps you were too nice? Maybe they thought they could take advantage of your kindness?
Whatever the reason was doesn’t matter. You decided to take a page from your aunt Artemis’ book. No more boys, no more falling in love. Things will be easier this way. You know it.
You should’ve been at the bonfire with everyone else. You chose to skip it tonight because you wished to be alone, at the archery range. Maybe you’d earn another freckle if Apollo saw you practicing your already perfect shot. Luke should’ve been at the bonfire too, singing with your half-siblings and roasting marshmallows.
“Hey! I need some help!” A deep, painful cry said.
Immediately worried, you turned around and saw Luke Castellan holding his abdomen. You immediately run over to him, taking his arm over yours and getting to your cabin as soon as possible. You decided the infirmary was too far and you could use the cot in your cabin.
You slam through the cabin door and lay him on the cot in the middle of the bunk beds. “Lay down.”
You pull up his blood stained orange shirt to reveal a large gash on the side of his toned stomach. You held your hand on his abdomen for a moment to assess what happened. A second degree burn and large slices, as if by a horn, caused this.
“How did this happen?” You ask as you start to transfer some of the pain to a potted plant, causing it to wilt.
“Accident with a hephaestus kid, wrong place, wrong time I guess,” He says slightly wincing.
“I can take most of the pain but it’ll still take a while to heal,” You explain.
“Weren’t you supposed to be at the bonfire, leading a song with the rest of your cabin?” He asks.
“I could ask you the same thing, wandering around the blacksmiths. You know those things they make are pretty hot right?” You scoff at him.
“Yeah I guess I do now,” he rolls his eyes.
You begin to bandage the wound and give him a slice of bread. “Bread? What the hell is this gonna do?” he questions.
“My sister Melody made it, it can heal the burns for the most part,” you say.
“Aren’t you the girl who dated Aiden?” He asks bluntly, taking a bite of the bread.
“That’s none of your business,” You roll your eyes.
“If you ask me-” he begins to say before you cut him off.
“I’m not.”
“He was an idiot. All those guys were. I mean seriously, didn’t anyone teach them how to treat a pretty girl?” He continues, not fazed by you interrupting him.
“All those guys? You know about them?” You question.
“I guess. I mean after word got out about that shithead Elliot I did some asking,” he shrugs. You frown at the mention of Elliot.
“Whatever, they’re all in the past. No more guys for me,” you tell him.
“You shouldn’t give up entirely, these guys are stupid. There’s someone out there who deserves you, trust,” He assures you.
“Oh yeah? Tell me when you meet him,” You laugh.
“I think i know a guy, actually,” He responds, sitting up slightly.
“Oh yeah? Do tell.”
“Well, he’s tall, tan, and goddamn gorgeous. Has these soft brown curls, and I heard he’s the best swordsman at camp. Perfect for the best archer,” He explains to you, smiling.
“You seem to be fond of him, maybe you should go date him,” You joke.
“Nah, I think he likes this girl from Apollo. Kind, generous, beautiful, best healer and archer around,” He locks eyes with yours, darting between your eyes and your lips.
He holds your face in his hand, circling his thumb. His shirt rides up exposing his stomach and bandages.
“You like what you see?” He teases.
“You’re an idiot,” You smile.
“That seems to be your type,” he shrugs and knits his brows.
Before you can say another word he presses a kiss against your lips, moving them softly against yours. One of his hands stays on your neck while the other ventures down to your waist and then the chair you sat in. He pulls the chair closer to him and puts his hand back on your waist. You move one of your hands to his knee and the other to right beside him, leaning in closer.
“Fuck, you’re amazing,” He’s whispers into the kiss.
You smile at him before pausing. “The bonfire’s almost over, maybe you should head back,” you say.
“Yeah probably,” he gives you one last hard kiss followed by another few pecks.
He stands up and steadys himself, the injury clearly still pains him. He starts to walk away but before he can leave he turns back to you and presses a few more kisses against you.
“Okay, I’m done. y’know for now,” he smirks.
“You’re welcome anytime,” You laugh and he leaves. He gives you two looks before exiting.
Maybe you’ll give this boy one more chance.
#pjo x you#luke castellan#luke pjo x reader#luke castellan x reader#pjo x reader#luke pjo#percy pjo#pjo series#pjo fandom#pjo#pjo tv show#percy jackson#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson and the olympians#luke castellan x you
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✎ STOP CALLING IT YOUR DREAM REALITY
why is it desired when it has already happened?
You need to realise that you are already in the reality you have chosen, you are in the reality that is desired. Stop viewing your new life as far-fetched and magical. Some of you think that with the crazy things in your script, it makes it harder to shift, than it would be to manifest something “small”. But let me tell you, you’re already there.
stop envying that girl’s body, you already have it, if not better
stop envying all the rich people’s vacations and hauls you see on socials, you live that life
stop envying the person with the pretty face, you have one too
stop getting jealous of a certain pop group, tv show cast or celebrity for getting to do the things that you want to do, you ARE doing all that you have ever wanted
stop envying the person your s/o has dating rumours with, they’re yours and always have been
because you’re a god.
stop getting jealous of the person with the perfect parents and rich family, your family was real the second you scripted them, you see them every day, no big deal
don’t you get it? the 3d isn’t real, what you’re seeing isn’t real if you don’t want it to be.
it’s not your dream reality, it’s your current reality, get comfortable and casual about it, it’s your everyday life, nothing special to you. stop scrambling for methods as if you aren’t in your reality already. stop treating your new life as a prize, it’s nothing special because you had it the second you thought about it. stop viewing your new life as some accomplishment to strive for, it’s your everyday experience, again nothing special.
as a god, every reality is your creation, why are you looking at your creations as the prize when the prize is you? why are you looking at your new life as something to work hard for, something to put effort in to have? why, why, why when it’s already yours?
you cant leave if you don’t acknowledge that this new life is already yours. You’ll always be in the state of desiring and never in the state of having if you don’t fix this mindset. It also puts more pressure on you when attempting to induce pure consciousness, you think everything is riding on inducing pure consciousness, you think your dream wont happen if you don’t do it. why do you think the weight of your new life relies on whether you’re able to induce pure conscious or whether you’re able to shift, when it’s already yours and you already live that life?
i’ll tell you why you think this way: it’s because you don’t see it as yours yet, you think it will only become yours when you have done all these things.
what you see: script + void/“I AM” state ➯ my dream life is finally mine
you see it as a process when it isn’t one, there is no process
what actually happens: i’ve created my dream life in my head ➯ i have it now, it’s not a dream anymore
it’s an immediate chain of events, not a process. so stop with the jealousy, being miserable and asking the same questions, it’s BEEN yours
as soon as you take that pressure away from the act of shifting, because you KNOW your new life belongs to you no matter what, it puts less stress on you, making inducing pure consciousness easier
that’s it that’s all, ITS ALREADY YOURS DONT SEE IT AS A PROCESS 🌌💋
#salemlunaa#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#permashifting#law of assumption#loa#void state#success story#the void#void concept#respawning#shifting community#shifting blog#shifters#void state tips#the void state#voidstate#i am state#pure consciousness
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