#if you are terrified of men bcs you were hurt by one

[pyrodolls]

Hello!!!

Please can I request headcanons on how twdg men would react to an injured Reader 👉👈

VARIOUS TWDG MEN X INJURED! READER HCS PT. 1

WARNINGS: spoiler free, gender neutral reader, could be read as either romantic or platonic hcs, angst to comfort i guess ?

A/N: woah hey guys... it's been a week.. oops. but hey i'm posting the requests... slowly... but it's only slow bc i'm constantly going back and changing things so i'm never really satisfied with my work smh. also if this does well i'll do the s3 and s4 men. btw i'm so sorry lee's was short idk what else to write for him.

let's say you went on a run for supplies, but it went wrong. you were attacked by walkers, and you just barely survived without getting bit.

LEE would stay calm. or at least, he'd appear calm. it was mostly for your sake, because he didn’t want you to panic. he'd seen plenty of injuries at that point, so he was quite desensitized to blood and all kinds of wounds. he was still worried about you, but he was just relieved that you were alive. after the incident, he allows you to continue going on runs and doesn’t fuss over you. he believes that you're strong enough to handle yourself. he isn't going to baby you after one little incident, but he's definitely going to start asking you if you need his help. if you say no, he'd respect that.

KENNY on the other hand, was panicked. he saw you unconscious with blood everywhere. he was the first one running over to you to find out what happened. he immediately checked for a bite, even after you reassured him that you didn’t have one. once he saw that you weren’t bitten, he was still panicked anyway. he was angry. he was desperate to find someone to blame rather than admit how terrified he was to lose you. you could've died out there. you should've been more careful. he should've been there. why wasn't he there? he should've protected you. the person with you should've prevented this. the person with you should've helped you. his anger wasn’t diminished until he saw you healed and walking around again. he masks his sadness with anger and often doesn't know how to control his emotions, but at the end of the day, he always remembers that the important thing is that you are safe. and you were never allowed to go on a run without him again.

BEN had no clue what to do. he was convinced that you were going to die. usually, he'd think a little more rationally when someone in the group is injured. he may be young, but over the course of the apocalypse, he's garnered a small bit of medical knowledge. he's aware that a simple accident isn't enough to kill someone. but when it comes to you, all logic is thrown out the window due to how much he cares about you. when he saw you bloody and weakened, he was terrified. he begged whoever was taking care of you to do their best. he stayed by your side as much as he could. he barely ate or slept until you were healed. once you were finally healed, he swore to make sure you never left his sight again. he's aware that you're stronger than him and you're capable of taking care of yourself, but he'd be damned if he lets you get injured again. he knows he isn't the strongest guy around, so there's not much he can do anyway, but after your accident, he started to get paranoid when he didn’t see or hear you after a short amount of time.

LUKE was incredibly worried when he found out you were hurt, and he rushed to carlos to make sure you were okay. he trusts carlos and he knew that you were in good hands, but he still needed to see you in order to know you were okay. once he saw that you were alive and not bitten, his worries quickly washed away. he confident that you can handle yourself, so it was just a little accident. but to be sure, he stayed by your side to tend to all of your needs and acted as your personal butler as you were healing. but there was still that nasty thought that crept into the back of his mind: the thought that you could've died. but he shook it off, not wanting to think about it. as long as you aren't alone on your runs, he isn't worried at all. he knows you can handle yourself. but if you can't, he would gladly be your knight in shining armor and take care of you.

NICK immediately spiraled when he saw you bloody and unconscious. he's lost enough of his loved ones; he can't lose you too. he paced outside the door where carlos was taking care of you, fiddling with his thumbs and being uncharacteristically quiet. the minute that carlos opened the door, nick rushed over to you and kneeled by your bed. he stared at you in silence, contemplating what he would do if you died. the others had to pull him away from you to let you rest. he was quiet for days after that. he let you rest, but he didn't leave the house at all just to make sure he was there to take care of you. he's convinced from then on that you need someone with you on runs. it's not that he thinks you're weak and you need to be protected, he just doesn't want to go through that period of depression and worry ever again. he was shattered at the thought of losing you. he's already damaged by plenty of his loved ones being killed, but your death would've been his breaking point.

[souliebird]

Okay. So.

I keep trying to write this and it's not clicking so. Let's do this as a My brain literally rambling with minor grammar edits. Let's go. ((I'm 🍃))

Hero!Dex!drabble time bby

Dex lives across the hall. You run into each other some times. Small polite neighbor talk if it's relevant. You don't know each other names.

The idea is you are the daughter of an Irish gang boss, with your brother being a high ranking member. You've newly run away from the family and are hiding in Hell's Kitchen. Shady apartment building, cash rent, no names.

Until Bullseye comes back from a rough Daredevil fight at the same moment as you. And you know exactly who Bullseye is.

But instead of panicking, you just go, "Oh shit, hold on, I have field medic training. Do you have a kit?"

And he's just like "Huh? Yes. Okay".

And Dex let's you in. You patch him up without asking anything while Dex tries to not panic.

Then you just tell him to wait a moment and he is like "Okay." Because he knows you know. He should kill you, but you're being nice to him.

He wants to Trust.

And you come back really quick with some left overs being like "Look here, eat this. It's got lots of protein and carbs, you'll need it. Just pop it in the microwave for five minutes, it'll be good. That bowl is microwave safe."

And Dex is just like. "okay. Yes." He likes that you're not asking questions because questions means he'd have to kill you

You're just helping him. A good person.

You leave after that.

Then you pretend it's back to normal but Dex is Dex.

But he's sure to keep his distance this time.

Time passes.

Dex wakes up to banging from across the hall. Early morning. Your door is open. He goes inside. Two men are assaulting you - you're pinned with a knife in your hand, clearly mid-fight with one guy while the other watches.

Dex does not think.

You crawl towards him. He grabs you, takes you back to his apartment, you do not fight him. He starts demanding answers.

You tell him everything.

They were looking for your brother. You haven't seen him in years, even before you left. He's turned into a state's witness and your dad thinks you'd know where he'd hide.

He's right but you'd never tell him that.

Dex looks at you very clearly. Right in the eye and Bullseye asks.

"Does he know anything incriminating about you?"

"Yes."

"Would you go to jail?"

"Yes."

"Do you want your father dead for sending his men after you?"

Pause.

"Yes."

"Okay."

He takes you to a hotel four hours away. He lets you block the doors with furniture. You cried in the car and are just tired now. He waits until you fall asleep. He leaves a note.

You wake up and panic and bit, but the note helps. He tells you he'll be back and you want to Trust that.

He saved you. He wouldn't bring you all this way to kill you. He's Bullseye. You saw him in his weird little Villain costume. He kills people in public like all the time no problem.

He's going to kill your family. He's going to set you free.

He's going to cause So Much Fucking Chaos in the underbelly of the city. It might vibrate all the way back to Cork.

That makes you kind of giddy because they all deserve it. All of them, especially your brother.

But you kinda deserve it, too.

You never hurt anyone. You've never threatened. You don't want to. You were happy to play the naive one because it meant one less criminal. But you know everything. You couldn't stop it.

Your cousin's ex-wife was a mole in the FBI. You'd be dead before you could find a lawyer.

You could very easily pretend to be dead now, though.

It's something to think about when you aren't panicking.

You hate being alone. You are terrified of someone busting in. You sit and watch bad cable for hours bc it's the only way to stay sane.

You don't sleep and you chug bad motel coffee.

Dex comes back after ten hours.

"If I don't tell you anything, you can't use it against me later."

You get it.

"Are you hurt?"

You patch him up with what's in the bathroom.

He bought clothes and supplies on his way back. He insists you go shower first. He doesn't ask why you didn't shower before.

You once again panic at being alone.

He comes in and you end up in the shower together. You keep to yourselves, backs turned. You only talk when he asks if you are finished - he has to move around you to get out.

You are.

You dress . He brought cheap ready to eat food. You both eat that while watching bad cable. You both comment on it and joke.

You still don't know his name.

He lets you push the second bed against the door. You sleep in the same bed, with you closer to the wall. Your head is on his chest.

"Thank you for saving me."

He doesn't reply.

You sleep.

He watches you all night.

And scene.

[churipu]

HAIIII IPIN !!!!!!! can i request gojo, geto, and nanami (separate) having a gf that's really optimistic? just someone who sees the good in everything and anything, and positive at all times! thank SOOOO much !!!!

JJK MEN + OPTIMISTIC GIRLFRIEND

featuring. gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento x fem! reader

warning. people being mean to u >:(

note. HAIIII ANONN!!! i love this request bcs sometimes i read books, mangas, watch movies, you name 'em and see a certain character having the most positive mindset and i just go must protecc >:( anyways, thank you anon for requesting just after i opened the request box, istg i love all your ideas so much it makes me feel full <;33

GOJO SATORU. absolutely hates the way you try to see the good in people — specifically people who have hurt your feelings in the past. he just wonders what goes on in your mind to just forgive and forget everyone who has wronged you.

you did. but not him.

"baby, that guy called you names when you were in high school!" gojo whines, laying down on the bed, draping an arm over your torso, "why are you still willing to meet him?"

"satoru, he said he was sorry!" you smiled at him, tracing his features softly — the male grumbled but leaned into your touch, "and plus it's not nice to hold grudges, it's been what? how many years?"

a loud whine escapes his throat as he pulled you close, "it doesn't matter how many years it has been, he still hurt your feelings. and nobody does that to my baby," he said, miffed.

you couldn't help but to chuckle, "well, you are coming along, so i have nothing to worry about."

the male grins, "damn right i am coming, he better sleep with one eye open starting from now," gojo threatens.

gojo just cannot wrap his head around your concept of "forgive-and-forget" because you never hold grudges, you forget everything and still talk to people who've wronged you, and you still have the heart to accept them.

as much as people say "forgive and forget", they end up at least holding the tiniest bit of grudge — or even a bigger grudge, right? but you? you don't. you actually forgive and forget.

well — thankfully, not him. he takes his job to protect you seriously, from any kind of harm, including monsters (people who were mean to you) both in the past, present, and possibly the future.

"baby, can you stop hanging out with that one girl? the one who always wears the purple colored eye-shadow?" he asks you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"hm? why?"

"i don't like the vibe she gives out. it's giving...well...cruella de vil." he murmurs into your neck, nuzzling his nose in content as you went on with your skincare routine.

"satoru," you mumbled, "you can't just judge her by her vibes."

he groans, "but baby, i swear i could just feel it! she's evil," he whispers in your ear.

"satoru."

"okay, fine. just tell me if she does anything to you, i'll give her a piece of my mind (hollow purple)." he mutters out, pouting and upset as you brushed his speculations off.

GETO SUGURU. he loves it and hates it at the same time. geto loves how positive you are against the world — and what more does he need, really? it's you and him against the world at this point, although he feels like he doesn't contribute much to your positive energy (that's what he thinks).

geto thinks of himself as a pretty negative person. and you know. the both of you had a lot of deep talks about everything, including what you both had in mind. and honestly, geto wasn't surprised if he hears you talking about how your life was going smoothly; and his was just a contradiction to what you have.

it's life, people come and go. but geto seemed skeptical of that term, why couldn't people come and stay? he finds it hard to believe that you could be the one leaving him at anytime of the day, and the thought just terrifies the male.

the death of amanai put a hole in his mind that couldn't be closed off, and it fucking scarred him. but you were there for him, you didn't sugar coat words or tell him white lies — you tell him everything, straight to his face, and your choices of words made him feel loved. what else could he ask for?

"'m sorry," he mutters into your shoulder, and his voice comes out a bit muffled.

you brushed his nape gently, "it's alright sugu, you know you don't have to apologize for being sad, right?" you tell him, pressing a kiss onto the side of his head, "it's okay to be a little sad."

sometimes he asks himself if he really deserved you or not. but at the end of the day; you always convince him that he deserved it.

geto hates your optimism sometimes because he watches people trample over you and you brush them off with a smile, it makes him feel angry. he asks himself why you were doing this to yourself? believe me when he tried asking you to try talking back, or putting up a fight.

"angel, you know it makes me kind of sad that you'd let people talk to you that way," he said to you, grazing his finger over your cheek gently.

you shot him a gentle smile, "'ts okay sugu, what good do i get from arguing back to them, really?"

he just pulls you into his embrace, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, saying nothing. god, he just wanted to protect you from the world — why does everyone have to be so fucking mean to you?

"will you be mad if i tell them off for you?" he asks

"depends on your methods, tell me about it."

"threatening them. if it doesn't work, violence." he mutters out briefly.

"sugu, no."

NANAMI KENTO. he doesn't mind it, he finds you endearing, really. a cat getting hurt? he'll accompany you to the vet with it. or a child crying because of a fall? he'll watch you help them without any single thoughts behind.

he just loves how selfless you are. nanami once read a quote, "when given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind." and every time he sees a selfless act from you — he just kinds of chanted it in his mind, and tell you what, nanami is such a proud boyfriend.

nanami loves how you see the good in everything, a person spilled their food on you? you tell them mistakes happen. a person bumping into you and then blaming you for it? you tell them you're sorry and thought that maybe they just had a really bad day.

but sometimes he couldn't help but to worry over you — someone so positive, bubbly, and optimistic around people who (probably) have disgusting minds. when he's not around to keep an eye on you, he just worries that someone might took advantage of your kindness and throw it out the window.

and he wouldn't be there to stop it from happening.

"ken, i'm going to go out for a hang out. it's fine, i've got my friends with me!" god, the jitters that he gets whenever you mention your friends — he was never really fond of the friends you have now, especially since they were trying hard to earn his attention. he knows they were just using you.

the texts they sent to him behind your back, the shit-talking about you, and everything else. god, he wanted to tell you about it; but he just didn't have the heart to, because he knows it will break your heart.

although nanami told them off quite rudely, defending you — it baffled him to how they still try to hang out with you with no shame after. and he tried telling you about how he doesn't like them, but you tell him it was fine.

"may i come along then?" just the thought of leaving you alone with those people pisses him off to the core, if he can't stop you from being friends with them — he will be with you.

when you agreed, he made it his job to expose them as nicely as he could. and he succeeded, oh the ecstasy he felt when you finally told them you didn't feel like hanging out with them anymore.

(and he ended up showing you the texts).

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[aerynwrites]

for inhuman!ii blurbs, how do we feel about ii being confused about human bodily functions cause hes been inhuman so long hes forgotten about them, and slowly learning how to help reader with them (sickness, period, etc)

Oh my god I love this - and as someone who just got into a relationship - men canonically don’t understand periods in general lmao (he tried but they just don’t get it lol completely). So this is such fun lol. Also havent we all forgotten what it’s like to be sick UNTIL we get sick then it’s like “awe shit, here we go again.”

Lmao.

Anyways - here you go friend! Thank you for sending this in!!

Inhuman!ii x fem!Reader - relearning the intricacies of humanity

Sickness:

Lord help this man.

He tries, he really does ya know? But it’s like all his years as a vessel has erased the small memories of humanity.

So, when you fall sick - stomach flu, regular flu, a common cold…he thinks you’re dying for a minute.

And if we’re being super serious, the first time you got sick (whatever it may be), he’s terrified you’ve somehow managed to make a deal with sleep to become a vessel and are now going through the process of changing.

That’s the last thing he remembers of sickness, the harsh reality of becoming not human.

But when you assure him you’re just sick and that it will pass he relaxes.

Kind of.

ii, in my opinion, is the quieter of the vessels. When he has things to talk about (like guiding you through this process or his drumming) he loves to talk. But for the most part he prefers to stay out of the way, not wanting to intrude or overstay his welcome.

But damn if he doesn’t try to help you.

You may have to tell him at first. I feel like he would instinctually want to wrap you up in blankets even if you’re too hot. Brings you tea when you might need water. Stands back with his hands on his head if you’re puking into the toilet because he wants it to stop - He hates seeing you suffer.

So eventually he’s kneeling beside you in the bathroom, holding your hair back if it’s long enough - or placing a cold washcloth on your neck if it’s short.

Eventually he’s bringing you water and a pitcher to refill it. Tissues, blankets, the works.

But mostly he finally finds the best medicine - the one you appreciate most at least is him just being near you. Whether that be sitting by your bed or cuddling up with you after you’ve been there for a while.

Period:

If the thought you were dying before - PHEW BOY. the second he sees bloody cloths or towels in the bathroom this man is fucking losing it.

Where are you hurt, what happened, WHO hurt you?!

When you told him what was happening and not to be so fucking worried a faint memory came back.

Oh. Yeah. That.

He immediately asked you what you needed, and thank god the power that surrounded this place were able to produce hygiene products bc he knows that makes it easier for you.

Past that, he’s getting you anything you need. Tea? Check. Snacks? Check. A seven layer chocolate cake with jam filling and also icing on top? A little specific, but check.

But once again, he found himself just being near you is what you want most. He also finds it kind of endearing that you always tug his hand forward to rest on your belly.

“Better than a heat pack” you’d told him.

and boy if he didn’t take that to heart. Didn’t move an inch unless you asked him to your loved him on your own. He even took to reading some of the books at the manor out loud to you.

Again, just does what he can to help you feel better.

And in the end, despite him hating the fact that you still suffer these ailments. He can’t help but feel a little more human for being around you.

[nanawritesit]

WWDITS Headcanons: You Having the Opposite Aesthetic of Everyone Else at the Vampire Residence (fem!reader)

tw: vampires, blood, corpses, mentions of killing, mentions of virgins, immortality

you were brought into the house to work as nadja and laszlo’s familiar

after having so many familiars die on the job, they had pretty much lost hope that they would ever find one that was right for them

so when you of all people, with your brightly colored hair, glittery makeup, long nails, and hot pink platform boots, were still around after a few weeks, they knew you were special 💞

of course they had their doubts at first, thinking you were much too soft for the job based on your cute aesthetic, but you surprised them with how tough you were

you had no problem finding them victims, cleaning up blood stains, and disposing of corpses. the promise of eternal life was much too great for you to give up because of some gore

nadja is overjoyed to have another woman in the house, and quickly becomes more of a bestie than a boss (as long as you do all of your duties as a familiar too)

she requires you to attend weekly “girls nights” with her, the guide, and mini nadja, but even if they weren’t mandatory, you’d happily go along

sometimes you’ll get all dressed up and go clubbing, taking everyone’s drinks for them since they can’t ingest human food

you stick out like a sore thumb in your pink sequin mini dress and heels, the rest of them shrouded in black lace, but you have an amazing time regardless. they really know how to party!

but sometimes you just have sleepovers where you watch mamma mia and talk shit about all the men in the house

laszlo didn’t take you seriously at first. he never really saw the appeal of having a familiar, thinking he got along just fine without one, but wanted to please his good lady wife

he could never understand how nandor was so attached to guillermo. he was just some human who followed him around and did his bidding

that was, until you came along

he found it was really nice to have someone to practice his music with, to organize his library for him, to help him into his coffin every night… and after a while he really grew quite fond of you

which scared him, because he knew how fragile human life was

but that only made him want to keep you under his wing more, to protect you until the day him and nadja decided to turn you

they love having you accompany them on their nightly walks, carrying their parasol behind them as they bask in the moonlight

they’re super protective of you, especially from people who assume you’re an easy target because of your looks

like, if anyone tries to mess with you around them, lazslo will yell at them to go fuck off, and nadja will practically go feral and rip their heart out

you’ll have to BEG her not to hurt them for her to even CONSIDER letting them go 💀

nandor pretty much falls in love with you upon first sight

he absolutely adores your style, loving how unique it is compared to anyone else he knows

he tries and fails to flirt with you all the time while you’re working, until nadja eventually yells at him to leave you to your chores, and he’ll scuttle away bc he’s scared of her 😀

he sometimes asks you to do his makeup like yours, saying he wants to “glitter like twilight”

his undead heart stops when you lean close to his face to do his eyeliner 🥺

he desperately wants to ask you out but is terrified of what nadja would do to him should you agree

she thinks you’re MUCH too good for him

he eventually goes to laszlo for help, since he’s such an “expert” on modern women 💀

he agrees to help him, but tells him that if you guys start dating and he hurts you, he’ll kill him 😗

guillermo is honestly just so thrilled to have another human in the house to sympathize with him 😭

the two of you quickly become partners in crime, dragging bodies down the stairs together and recruiting virgins for your vampires to feast on

he also wouldn’t hesitate to slay any vampire who tried to feed on you

you always stick up for him when the vampires aren’t taking him seriously, which helps since they all value your opinion tremendously

nandor gets a bit jealous when he finds out that you and guillermo get lunch together everyday 😭

guillermo admittedly gets a bit jealous when you’re turned into a vampire before he is, but is obviously very happy for you

but since nandor has such a soft spot for you, you’re able to convince him to turn guillermo sooner :) that way you can be a big happy vampire family forever

collin robinson thinks you’re quite entertaining, although he gets frustrated at the fact that you somehow always dodge all of his attempts to drain your energy

when you go out on the town with everyone, you have major scary dog privilege

when you walk by, people see a pretty pink princess 💞

and then they see the three huge, dramatically dressed vampires, one emotionless suited man, and one monster slayer walking behind you and they’re like oh shit nvm 💀

[frogwithgun]

Satosugu!!!! Bc we love them here.

Takes place before the girls are in Jujutsu Tec!!

----------------------------

It's quiet. Almost to quiet. And that's not a very good sign for Geto or Gojo.

See the two men had come to their daughters school to talk to their principal. Gojo still really had no idea what was going on. All he knew was the girls had gotten in trouble and he needed to be at the school with Geto.

Hand in hand Geto looks concerned. "Suguru what happened?" Geto shakes his head and sighs. "The girls got into a fight." Gojos mouth forms into the shape of an oh and he nods. "Did they win?" Geto immediately smacks his shoulder.

"This is not the time to be asking! Why would our girls fight someone?!" Gojo shrugs. Mimiko and Nanako are very well behaved girls and usually never got into trouble. Till today it seems.

The girls sat in the principals office. Mimiko glaring at him and Nanako just rolling her eyes. "Where are your dads?" Nanako shrugged and groaned. Mimiko sighed. "We didn't do anything wrong." Nanako nodded.

The door burst open and Geto rushed to the girls. "Are you ok? Are you hurt? Bruised? Bleeding? Limbs still intact?" Gojo laughed and sighed. He patted Mimiko on the head gently and sat down. Geto following suit after making sure the girls were ok.

Geto crossed his arms and Gojo put his hands on his knees. "So, what's the problem?" The principal looked shocked. "The problem is that the girls were fighting!" Gojo rolled his eyes. "Mr. Gojo this is unacceptable and not tolerated at our school."

Gojo raised an eyebrow. Behind his signature blindfold Geto knew he had a mischievous look in his eyes. "Really? So who threw the first punch?" The principal stammered. "T-that is not important-" He was quickly interrupted by Mimiko. "It was that girl Aoi we always tell you about."

Gojo nodded and looked at the principal. Knowing his work was done. "What?!" Geto stood up from his chair and slammed his hands down onto the desk. "You told me that Aoi had been handled. That she wouldn't bother my daughters again." He was shaking with barely restrained anger.

The girls laughed and Gojo covered his mouth to hide his smile at the principals terrified expression. "We did!" "Then why is she still harrassing my daughters? I thought I made it clear what was supposed to happen. Shouldn't she still be suspended?" The principal was at a loss for words.

But Geto pressed on.

"I told you I wanted to have a proper talk with her mother. But you said that it would be overkill. So I thought we made a happy compromise. She's suspended for two weeks to learn her lesson, and you keep your job." The principal shifted in his seat.

"But clearly you want to be fired. You want to look like an idiot. You want to be unable to find work in education ever again!" Geto laughed dryly. "Well, good news! We," he gestured between him and Gojo, "can make that happen!" Geto sat back down. Glaring at the principal.

Gojo cleared his throat. "Now, I don't know about my husband but I don't want to see you jobless. So let's make the right choice, yeah? You expell this brat that's harrassing our daughters, and we don't press charges!"

A beat of silence passed through the room.

Gojo clapped once and smiled. "Sound good?" The principal nodded. "Great! Now," he turned to Geto, "you take the girls to the car," he turned back to the principal, "while I thank this gentleman for listening to us today."

Geto nodded and stood. Not before giving the principal one last dirty look. "Come on girls." They stood up happily. "Ok!" They said in unison. The door closed behind them and Gojo stopped smiling. "If you ever call me or my husband down here for some stupid shit ever again, I will make sure you lose your job."

The principal nodded and Gojo left. A smile on his face.

----------------

Geto was gripping the steering wheel so tight Gojo swore it would break. "Suguru relax. The girls are fine." Geto nodded. "I know. I just," he looked at them in the mirror. Both of them were looking at something on Nanakos phone and laughing, "I worry that one day we won't be there to get them out of trouble."

Gojo nodded and put a hand on Getos thigh. "They can get themselves out of trouble. Have some faith." Geto nodded and smiled. "You're right." He sighed. "What would I do without you?"

"Ew! Gross!"

"Yeah! Stop looking at each other like that!"

"Cut me some slack! It has been two weeks since I've seen your dad!" Gojo argued back. Turning in his seat to look at them. Mimiko was covering Nanakos eyes and Nanako covered Mimikos. "Still gross!"

Geto rolled his eyes. It was nice while it lasted.

-------------------------

Omg it's been a while since I wrote something. Sorry if this sucks I just wanted to get my little fic out.

And thank you to everyone who has been so patient with me.

And if you are waiting for part four of the modern AU do not worry it is coming soon!

As always love you and take care of yourselves! 💚

[esther-dot]

i'm a sansa stan first and foremost, and i tried to ship s@nsan so hard lmaooo but when they start saying shit like "sansa has wet dreams about the hound" and "sansa actually likes older men", argh, i just can't. do. that. i know george said something about playing with it in the books, but i also think that he wanted to raise a few questions with the relationship, one of them being "who protects sansa from her protector?". like, there's TRAUMA in there. it's funny that they accuse jonsas of using sansa as a self-insert bc i don't know if you ever read a s@nsan fic or saw the fanarts, but they REALLY wanna bang that man 😭

(about this ask)

Nothing in the fandom horrifies me as much as Sansan. I’ve had nice Sansans come into my inbox, so I do distinguish between my feelings about the ship and the shippers, but I hate the reinterpretation of the Hound because it minimizes what he did/tried to do to Sansa. Instead of the later scenes where Sansa thinks of him being about her processing the trauma of his assault, suddenly, they become a gross villain whitewashing, victim-blamey, “actually, she wanted it.”

I once even highlighted that whole "who will protect us from the guards" idea you mention because I think it was meant to emphasize what a travesty the Hound’s assault was:

(link)

This isn’t a romance, this is a pattern. The Hound saves her than tries to rape her, Tyrion is kind to her then agrees to marry her, a child, a prisoner of his family, and LF rescues her but then starts to sexually molest her. All the same, in each of these instances, Sansa is grateful, she thinks kindly of them, and I think that says a lot about Sansa that you completely miss if you romanticize it and pretend that the Hound is someone, something to her, that he isn’t. I also talk about the whole cloak thing in that post too because I think the more contextualized reading is the one we’re meant to adopt.

When I did take a look at the meta, I was so creeped out by the nature of it and the art. Although, I want to give credit where it’s due. Apparently they were some of the first people to start taking Sansa seriously and created the reading of Sansa becoming a political factor, so they did change the fandom’s perception of Sansa in a good way. But imo their love of the Hound causes an imbalance in how they read their scenes. The point isn't that the Hound wouldn't have hurt Sansa, the point was that he very well might have but Sansa's actions stopped him which ties into a much bigger idea and important aspect of Sansa's story:

Even after the Hound assaults Sansa, later, she thinks of how terrifying the fire was, as in, even then, she is able to empathize with him, the man who held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. It’s laughable to suggest a man who mocked her relentlessly for who she was is capable of the same consideration. In fact, it is in a state of terror that the Hound attempts to rape Sansa and his fans use that to excuse his actions, and yet, while he is assaulting her, Sansa sings of mercy, gently touches his cheek. It’s almost like the very obvious interpretation, that the way to create a better world is Sansa’s method— not his— is what Martin expected people to understand, and his surprise people have turned it into something else altogether is genuine. (link)

As for Martin admitting he "played" with it, here's a clip. It's very short, and he's expressing surprise that his female readers like villains of which the Hound is one, and I think you can tell by his facial expression that the idea of the Hound and Sansa as a couple, is absolutely not where he ever intended to take things, not what he meant when he said he played with it. There are countless old monster movies with the monster being fascinated with a young girl or beautiful woman which humanizes him/shows a soft side. That's similar to Beauty and the Beast, the girl is what allows the monster to become human again, but in these variations, it isn't a romance. You can play with/reference tropes and ideas without it actually being a direct reiteration of the original story.

Anyway, filter and block and curate your fandom experience! 😅

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E8 "The Roast" thoughts:

Ok, I watched this episode three times and I'm still smiling. I love when you think and episode is gonna be about something because of its title and then surprise you when its all a misdirection (see also: Succession's "Connor's Wedding").

At first Laszlo's err… state intrigued me, love everyone projecting and imposing their own insecurities (Guillermo's secret, Nadja's hex) as a reason on why he is behaving like that. And of course it's a stupid reason 😭.

"And a flat pepsi for Guillermo". Oh Nandor, that's the worst thing you ever done to Guillermo, that's the worst thing you could do to anyone. And yes, I remember a certain S4 episode.

I screeched like a bird when Colin mentioned dreaming about being a baby under Laszlo's care, not only because I wanted this shit to happen since the past finale, but also I really thought the episode was going on that direction (and also bc its another W for my predictions).

Having said that, LOVED the nonchalance of Nadja and the others when they were like 'no, it wasn't a dream, that totally happened'.

I mentioned it in a separate post: they really had a Sweet Dee in IASIP moment when The Guide gave the roast idea, only to be ignored and then the same idea being stolen by a dude who is celebrated.

Seanie's poor brain it should be soup at this point, we don't know if he can hazily remember the event like it happened before.

What can I remember is his line after Nadja's roast because it was one of the biggest laughs for me: "Women CAN be funny!" I fucking loved it so much, it's the perfect condescending shit straight men say all the time, even when they're trying to be complementary to you they can't stop being garbage. It was a simple line but Anthony nailed the delivery and timing. Seriously, rewatch that part.

At first I was confused why all the jokes were so mid, but shortly I realized this episode wasn't about the roast at all, lol.

Just by watching screenshots of other users I noticed that in the scene of Nandor resting his head on Guillermo's shoulder there's a BIG flame between them. LMAO. There's no way that is unintentional.

Good for The Guide being the catalyst of Baron Afanas learning the truth. I was demanding more screen time for her lately, so having some incidence in the main plot goes on the plus column.

The other guests present at the roast being shocked at the knowledge of Guillermo killing vampires surprised me; I always assumed Guillermo being a familiar/slayer was a known fact in the vampire community after his very public massacre at the Théâtre des Vampires.

Fuck yeah when I realized this is a Doug Jones spotlight episode, I just fuckin ahgdjkaksdf, love him, perfect, no notes.

The Baron being terrifying!! Guillermo was seriously scared for the others and he barely tried to show off his Van Helsing abilities.

Nandor and Nadja begging the Baron to not hurt Guillermo!! 😭 Them being dragged while grabbing the cape!! 😭 They're spiritual siblings to me!! 😭😭

They really reminded me a little bro and sis begging their mom to not hit their beloved older brother with the chancla for talking back or something.

I fell for the two fake-outs with the sack lol I'm so gullible when it comes to vampires I guess.

NANDOR PAINFUL SOUNDS (MOANS???) WHEN HE BELIEVED HE WAS IN FRONT OF GUILLERMO'S INERT BODY. IT WAS SAD BUT ALSO A LITTLE HORNY!!!

"At least he died doing what he loved: beating off in the toolshed."

A wonderful small detail: After Laszlo opened fake Guillermo with the knife he cleaned his hands on The Guide's dress.

Idc if you think its dark, the whole 'Nandor will kill you and then kill himself' bit becoming a recurring joke it's peak writing.

I wish I can say something more serious about Baron Afanas' sadness over how boring his life is now. But I just keep thinking that the way he talks about his homelife with The Sire and the Hellhound sounds exactly when a dude has a middle life crisis and suddenly he doesn't enjoy his marriage anymore. They're husbands!! And I loved how cunty he looked at the end all half-charred (see posted gif) Queen!

Now, the Nandermo of it all: What more can I say than incoherent screaming and foaming from the mouth? Episodes 8 are all about them again!! Nandor on the window looking all cliched melancholic heroine of a romance novel?? How relieved he was when he found him in the coffin??? Him still remembering Guillermo's card word for word???!! Knowing that this toxic dark sided devotion goes both ways???!!! Borrowing the words of Fleabag: THIS IS A LOVE STORY.

Seriously, I know all these soft Nandor moments are here so the heartbreak when he learns about Guillermo being turned it's even bigger. But still denying that there is a romantic undertone between these two it's just being purposely adamant at this point (i'm looking at you wwdits reddit). Even if nothing explicitly romantic happens on screen, just by watching these moments, I know, we know.

Now, go listen to the ending song again. You will not regret it.

[sugar-omi]

oh my GOD SELF AWARE COVE HAS SO MANY POSSIBILITIES IM GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR AGES

JUST- the thought of Cove slowly realizing he’s going through a loop over and over and over and with every loop the MC starts to look and feel stranger and more far away to Cove and it’s driving him INSANE. Cove starts to keep track of these loops and notices that sometimes things get ever so slightly different or drastically different (say the players deciding to romance a different character or is doing a 100% platonic playthrough etc etc)

THE WHIPLASH COVE WOULD FEEL WHERE IN ONE LOOP THE MC IS ALL LOVEY DOVEY THEN IN THE NEXT THEYRE COLD AND INDIFFERENT TOWARDS HIM CAUSE THE MECHANIC OF COVE FEELING THE SAME WAY WOULD JUST BREAK UPON HIM BECOMING SELF AWARE

Cove having to deal with the feeling of closing his eyes as an adult only to open them and see he’s 8 years old again. What the hell just happened???? He was just at his own wedding with the love of his life and now he’s suddenly a crying child back on the poppy hill!!

AND THEN- and then Cove paying more attention to the MC as the loops go by and seeing them fade into this weird uncanny husk, they’re starting to feel more like a puppet than a person, and it terrifies him. What’s going on??? Are they okay?? Why is this happening to them????

Soon enough as he looks at the MC he finally notices and realizes that the MC “never existed”. This whole time the person he’s spent basically his entire life with never existed as someone in Coves world. No, instead they’re just a projection of someone else. Who? Coves not sure, but he feels like that whoever it is they’re the person who he’s actually been falling for over and over again.

And at that realization he come to the conclusion that he needs to meet this person beyond the veil, and he needs to meet them now.

This got kinda horror adjacent I apologize I got carried away-

NO THIS IS PERFECT

it tears him apart every time bc if you choose to romance someone else or not befriend/romance him, he can't say anything different since he doesn't have control over the system and he doesn't wanna alarm you

so he's forced to feel indifferent to you, and even in between he can't talk to you bc you're not real, the "you" that's here isn't interested in cove, and if "you" do take interest in him it's bc of the system, and everything is set in place as always

slowly he works out how to get to you, and he's leaning over you in his buff/lean, (tatted,) 6+ foot glory and teary eyed, asking why you keep playing with him, experimenting on him like this, making him watch you confess to baxter after he's loved you for 15 years. asking why you'd make that deal n choose his best friend derek over him.

well, it doesn't matter anymore. you can be together now, don't worry about his life in sunset bird, you can just build a life together just the two of you for now!!!

he actually prefers you like this compared to the game. you can say whatever you want without limits or prompting. and he can see your expression, hear your voice, actually touch you...

oh, and please don't go anywhere without him if possible or look at other men, fictional or real, with interest. he's everything you need, you've made him to fit your needs every time. you've came back to him hundreds of times in the end, so if you see smth you like on another man, cove will change his style, look, or behavior so just stop looking else were.

unless you can't, then he'll have to punish you. make you look him...

don't worry, he won't hurt you! he really could never do that, no matter how broken or.. well, twisted. he is

just wants to make sure you remember you're his, and he is yours. so if he makes you sit in his lap for hours, making you trace his face and body and features, telling him everything you love abt him inside and out, then just do it.

and if he decides to punish you in other ways, you can handle it right? you've played his 18+ dlc's multiple times, you read all those dirty stories abt him and you always kiss him n grope him when you can in the main game

he just wants to love you, and be loved by you for real. so indulge him a bit, won't you?

[livelaughlovesubs]

Is star anon okay 💀. I'm actually concerned. I personally have never tried uh. Any of that, because idk how but like. That sounded concerning. Extremely. Bleeding isn't normal right...?

~terrified, but lowkey impressed 🧁anon

No, bleeding isn’t normal. There is a false rumour that, if you are a virgin and have sex for the first time, you have to bleed which isn’t true. It’s just another rumour for woman to feel bad about themselves when they don’t, and see hurting themselves as something good. The bleeding is caused by real wounds after all. If the bleeding is minimal, it’s most likely not serious, but if it’s a lot there can be other factors playing into it. For example, cancer.

That rumour I mentioned is about the hymen, how virgin woman have a thin layer of skin (irl it’s a thin piece of tissue) in their vagina that will be pierced through during their first time, which is causing the bleeding. Some parts to it is true, like for some woman tearing their hymen can make them bleed, but it doesn’t apply to everyone. More often than not girls rip their hymen by doing sports like gymnastics or others. Though it doesn’t hurt.

I think it’s more common if you tear a lot of your hymen, like forcefully inserting something big, and then bleed. It’s not okay, cuz bleeding is always a bad thing. Also there are many, many ways a woman’s hymen can look like, from birth on. Here a illustration as example (all credits to Sandra Bayer) as you can see, there are some who’s hymen is closing off the entire vagina, but there are also some who are born without one. Not having one is totally fine while having one that closes the hole off was dangerous, cuz it blocks off your periods, and it can have painful symptoms. There are op’s to fix it though.

So, in other words, the ‘virgins must bleed’ and “every woman has a closed hymen” is complete bs. I read on Twitter that it’s just earlier men’s way to make themselves more important by believing their dick can change a woman forever, physically. I mean ig that’s true if they plan on literally hurting their partner and making them bleed for some stupid reasons.

Anyway, short conclusions. Bleeding during sex means simply the other person (or you) was/ were too rough, the vagina/ butt was still too dry, or you are sticking something too big inside without proper training aka. Ripping your tissues (hymen) too much

Man I talk about sexual education a lot these days, does it help you guy? Cuz I know there are many countries where they don’t talk about these things, bc it’s embarrassing. (It isn’t!!! There is nothing shameful about wanting to know more about your own body!!!)

[xf-cases-solved]

S2E1: Little Green Men

Case: Welcome to season 2, where we start our journey with a melodramatic Mulder monologue. We love to see it. Or... hear it. Whatever. Point is, Mulder is feeling very poetic and melancholic about the Voyager program and the High Resolution Microwave Survey (both are real, btw), and this is relevant, bc at the long abandoned HRMS observatory in Puerto Rico, a transmission has suddenly started coming in. Could it possibly be from... aliens???

Well, Mulder certainly thinks so, and apparently so does his friend in congress, who tells him about the situation in Puerto Rico, and tells him to get his butt down there while he tries to hold off whoever it is who wants Mulder not to learn things this episode. Mulder—having no sense of self-preservation in the slightest and also a new job that he fucking hates—goes without a second thought. From there, the episode becomes a fun back and forth between Mulder's exciting Puerto Rican holiday (in a dark, abandoned building, as he makes melancholic tape recordings for Scully, bc that's who he was talking to in the voiceover, the fucking sap loser), and Scully desperately trying to get to Puerto Rico so that she can drag him back to Washington like a dog that got loose from its collar. Again.

Mulder and Scully both miss the X-Files and each other and it's cute as well as sad; Scully's "Mulder is doing something stupid" senses start tingling, so she guesses another password and breaks into Mulder's computer files; Mulder plays charades and pictionary with a terrified Puerto Rican man named Jorge; and Assistant Director Walter Skinner says NO to secondhand smoking. 

We're off to a great start, fam!

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes. Senator Richard Bryan murdered the High Resolution Microwave Survey project in cold blood 

Does Mulder present a slideshow: No, but he does eat an INSANE amount of sunflower seeds

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Well, Mulder literally says the words, "Nothing but evidence, and again, no evidence at all," so I'll let you take a guess.

Whodunit: You know, I don't think either of them were technically on a case this episode, so. No one, ig. 

Convictions: See above.

Did they solve it: Nothing to solve bc it wasn't a case, but also... yeah, no. They did not. -sad trombone sound-

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: The Duolingo Owl. There are over seven thousand languages in the world, and yet, we as a species know so few (especially if you're American -- y'all, we do not do enough language learning in school). Learning a new language can broaden your mind, open you up to new cultures, and expand your social circle. You also never know when you may be trapped in a derelict building during a thunderstorm/alien invasion with a frightened Puerto Rican man you are incapable of communicating with because you didn't pay attention in Spanish class.  Lucky for you, the Duolingo Owl can help! By sending you moderately threatening lesson reminders every day, the Duolingo Owl helps ensure that you're on your way to learning a brand new language. So don't hesitate! Download Duolingo now to get started. The Duolingo Owl — our favorite little green man!

[as of the moment i am posting this, my duolingo streak is 2,632 days. anyway]

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 12 (nothin'. off to a good start guys!)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 3

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6 (yeah, you know what, i'll say her conveniently not getting to puerto rico until after the whole -gestures at whatever that whole bright light situation was- counts)

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8 (i feel like if he had been in legitimate mortal danger then he would have died, but nothing hurt him, just freaked him out a little)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 13 (there were a few i could count here that are borderline, but the two that definitely cross the line are mulder saying "i used to only be able to trust myself... now i can only trust you. and they've taken you from me," bc what the fuck, and then also the end where he says "i still have my work, i still have you," and scully grabs his hand, bc again, what—and i cannot stress this enough—the fuck)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 3 (none, but it was actually really adorable how mulder was dictating to her in the recording about the state of jorge's body. i mean, rip jorge, but he was doing his best to give her information about the scene, not just for himself, but bc he knew she'd need as much documentation/evidence as possible to come to any conclusions)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 14 (he doesn't come up much, but i'll count senator what's his face as an informant, sure) 

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3 (the impenetrable computer password of special agent fox mulder: trustno1. god i love the 90s)

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3 (ok, i wasn't sure how to count this bc it was said aloud, but then it was also caught in a loop being said on the tape, and so instead of counting every individual time, i'm just going to a singular blanket tally for the whole episode)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 8 (but skinner told him NO SMOKING!! 😡) 

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 9½ 

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5 

[oh good, the next episode is the host. that's definitely an episode i don't find unbearably disgusting and haven't watched in years bc i always skip it when i rewatch the series. so excited. hooray 😐]

[chromotps]

YOU MENTIONED ACELU MODERN/GANG AU. but what about — I know it’s cursed but please listen — supernatural AU? I don’t mean like the entire thing (monster hunting maybe, but not the entire angel/demons plot) but just consider the vibes of the first two seasons?? The “road-trip” thing. Struggling to get by (I’m such a huge sucker for “Ace struggling to make ends meet but he always makes sure Luffy gets food and clothes even if it means he’s not eating as much himself”-dynamic in modern AUs. God). Sleeping in shitty motels + having to share the bed more often than not. Taking care of each other’s wounds in dimly-lit, dirty bathrooms. The general, ever-present worry of how things are going to be in the future or the terrifying scenario when one of them doesn’t make it (except Ace just worries about Luffy, bc of course he doesn’t consider a future where he lives and Luffy doesn’t. Neither of them can think about it too long either way bc it makes their brains shut down). They’re blood-brothers, they think of each other like that, they call each other that except. Taking physical comfort from each other is also a thing, because that’s what they’ve been doing all their lives, because there’s always been just them, and it’s all they ever had. They kiss and sleep together, bare skin pressed against bare skin because it’s always been like this, and it doesn’t feel the same with anyone else (mostly on Ace’s side, because he did try — with barmaids, waitresses, men in shady bars, because he felt responsible for Luffy’s upbringing and well-being and it felt like an older sibling thing to set and maintain appropriate boundaries. But nothing ever compared to Luffy, even in the slightest). Both of them having to play so many social roles they kind of start blending into one another (because again, there was never really anyone around long enough to fill them in for them) - bc yeah they’re siblings, but. They’re also friends except it goes way beyond that. Ace, as the older one, has been Luffy’s caretaker too, he had to think and plan ahead for them both. But there were times when Ace was hurt they the caretaking role became reversed and Luffy had to take on all the responsibilities, until Ace recovered. Obviously none of it is how a healthy sibling relationship should look like, but god, I’m just soooo weak for the developing co-dependency, especially in scenarios where clearly unhealthy/potentially harmful behavior becomes a source of physical/emotional comfort (and tbh I’m pretty sure it also translates well into in-canon Ace/Lu because they didn’t really have anyone else either, for a couple of years in their lives. And Luffy needs social interaction like he needs food and sleep).

Oh man, anon, I was shipping and reading smut for Wincest like WILD back in the day, so. This AU is perfect. I'm eating up all the details of it just being the two of them, and a car, and a map. On a good day they'll get to jam out to music for a few hours on the road before pulling into a diner, and Ace splurges on treating him and Luffy to a meal of steak, burgers, shakes and pie.

But on a bad day. They get out of a rough fight, Ace with a nasty gash down his chest but they can't get help between all their papers being forged and being wanted for a crime they were framed for anyway. So for once Luffy drives them back to the motel, and sets Ace up in the tiny bathroom tub to clean out the wound and patch it up. The whole time they're just quietly saying stuff to each other like "thank you. you didn't have to take that hit for me. it saved my life" and "you're the only reason i do any of this. nothing else matters." "you matter. it's always been just you and me, right? what would I do without you?" and then... idk MaybeTheyHave"Thank God You're Alive"Sex or something who can say?? you know???

but omg yeah I LIVE for some codependency in my ships. I do have this weird thing where whenever I write headcanons it's like I'm in denial. like, I can't totally commit to calling it unhealthy even though it totally is, bc.... they're happy together!! Maybe they learn to accept help when they need it from some kind of Uncle Bobby figure (Jinbei?? Rayleigh??). but when it comes down to it, they only really care about staying with each other and keeping their brother safe.

I'm not really sure what's up with me today but I'm sort of in a horny mood so. I'm still thinking about what you typed with "They kiss and sleep together, bare skin pressed against bare skin because it’s always been like this," and I know you probably meant literal sleeping together. But I love thinking about the slippery slope Ace and Luffy took in the AU from "pressing each other close for comfort when they're shaken" to "Luffy noticing how good it feels when Ace holds him and Ace unable to stop his eyes from lingering on Luffy's lips" to "one time in the dead of night in the hotel, their breaths are mingling and their mouths are almost touching until, it isn't 'almost' anymore. and then somehow ace is on top of luffy and the orange glow of the streetlight outside is falling on where their arms are wrapped around each other. and even though that night should have been shocking, what they can't admit out loud is that it felt completely natural. it's just another part of everything that they are to each other, and no one else needs to understand this, either."

ANYWAY UH I can. talk about other aspects of this AU since I'm sure there were other things you meant to focus on but uh. I was in a mood. oops!

[bbeemore]

weeping and gnashing of teeth; asoiaf

synopsis; Alysanne Stark finds herself entrapped in a war as familiar as it is foreign. Those claws sink into her breast, pry her ribs open to see what kind of woman she truly is, and watch her heart beat, beat, beat. part one; alysanne word count; 2.7k pairing; stark!oc/jaime lannister content warnings; mentions of death, somewhat graphic recollections of death, grief, generally tame for what rest of series is a/n: my first asoiaf fic :') this is gonna be a mesh of show and book elements bc this is fic and i can write what i want. i've became a sucker over the idea of stark/lannister pairings were it hurts so here we are!! slow slow slow burn. like in the trenches you hate each other so much it takes a while to even look at that mf cookie. wet cat jaime is my favorite jaime sue me. anyway thank you for reading! (ao3 link)(wattpad link)

Alysanne dreamt often. She dreamt of cold open fields, with snow and shoots of lavender reaching from the frost towards the sky like dying men’s hands. She dreamt of fields of wet cold grass after the snow had melted, the thunder of a horses hooves and her siblings shouting and laughing at one another. She dreamt of dancing with her brothers, smaller legs awkwardly stumbling to meet their movements and their large feet stumbling to not squash hers. She dreamt of being seated between Brandon's legs on a steed much too tall for her, her brothers arms around her like railings as he urged the horse to run far too fast for her. But she was safe. Brandon would never let her fall.

And she dreamt of her. She dreamt of being a girl of one-and-ten. Of laying down, her head in her lap. Alysanne dreamt of her sister's fingers winding into her hair with a gentleness unbecoming of her sister. She dreamt of her sister talking, and rambling of sorts. Or even complaining about how she'd rather be riding or shooting arrows than laying about with her. But Alysanne dreamt of her sister as being softer and much more forgiving than she had been - a crime she'd often accused other's of when they spoke so dreamily of the dead girl.

That dream always ended the same. In the end, grief always caught Alysanne. It caught her in her warm bed, in the safety of her home and within the four walls that she'd known as long as she'd drawn breath. She'd run from grief for more of her life than not now - and it would always catch her on a summer's night, when the hearth was sputtering the comforting cracks of a dying fire.

She'd choke once. A small cry would escape parted lips and her eyes would screw shut. She'd no longer be a child but a woman grown - the bitter, resentful and weary woman she'd became in the deep aching absence of her families warmth. A child forced too big too soon.

Her sister would laugh, carefree, and stroke the hair out of her face as fat and hot tears slipped from the corners of her eyes into her hairline.

"You always weep so easily, Alys." She would murmur. "You must learn to control that. You do not wish to be known as a simpering, sniffling maiden."

"Lyanna," Alysanne would choke, begging her for some respite. None would come as she felt her chest caving in. The smell of rosewater and blood would begin to choke her.

And sometimes, Alysanne had nightmares. A roaring wildfire, the smell of burning flesh, and her father's retching screams. Shadows of a melting man, flesh and muscle falling from bone, dancing along the high green gleam of those wretched fires. She'd hadn't known what her father and brothers last moments really could have been like of course, but Septa Reina had once suggested when she'd confided in her about the terrors that the empty gaps left in her mind could be all the more terrifying than what actually occurred. Septa Reina had died some years ago, and the dreams still lived and greeted Alysanne.

She'd dream of Brandon writhing as he watched, the last sputters of life ebbing from a purple face and bugging eyes and foaming lips as he choked himself for freedom. She always had that dream from what she imagined was the eyes of a Kingsguard. Standing rigid and stiff. Hand on the pommel of a sword as her feet were unwilling to move and lips unwilling to part and scream that they stop. She'd stand here, eyes wide, lips sealed in fear. Was it her own fear she felt? Or that of another?

She could only look down at the glittering armor. The white cloak. The sword her hand rested on. Her fist would flex around the metal of an ornate pommel, and for a moment she'd try imagine whose eyes she was watching through. Perhaps somebody noble and honorable, like Barristan the Bold. Or the Sword of the Morning. Ned had always spoke highly of Arthur Dayne. How noble and honorable could they be to watch a man melt?

The smell of wet Earth and the slamming of horse hooves and men’s feet were familiar. But today, it seemed they were rushed. The eve of maybe the most important day in a long time at Winterfell was upon them all and it was leaving a sickly taste in Alysanne’s mouth. Like someone had smeared a thin layer of tar between her lips and over her teeth and atop her molars and planted a nice glob on her tongue.

And that kept her lips sealed — for behind the tar she had nothing nice to say about the impending Baratheon-Lannister caravan. She'd sat with her brother the night before, both perched in chairs before the cracking fire with a posture and crease of their brows that made their shared blood evident. They hadn't spoken much that night but a few scarce phrases back and forth. Alysanne had asked her brother what he intended to do when the King came to their door, fist raised and booming voice down their halls. "Robert comes with an out stretched hand." She'd stated like it was a premonition. "Robert is an old friend." "Who you saw since the war twice. Once at his wedding, and then when Balon Greyjoy decalred himself king of the Iron Islands." She replied. "How many times has he written you? Do you believe he takes care to know of you still? Or has he requested you ride south once for those tourney's that he throws so frequently, it is like he fears they shall fall out of favor?" "He is the King." He'd replied, voice even and firm as stone. "He has many duties to tend to-" "I do not know of any whores named duty." Alysanne had quickly cut in with. He had shook his head, but she swore when she tilted forward she saw something akin to a smile. Alysanne did not return it, she simply looked back to the fire. "Jon Arryn ran this realm, and you know it. With enough misfortune on our part, Tywin Lannister will do so next." She mumbled. She imagined two fates of what ass will be seated in the seat of the Hand of the King - both equally as stomach churning and sickening. "You fret too deeply, little sister." "You trust in the honor of men who have none, brother."

If Alysanne could have, she would have stood as a guard at the gates of Winterfell - holding a palm up and professing no stags or lions were permitted on the grounds, and to turn back now. The only delight she would garner from the whole affair was Benjen's return. This was one of the few affairs that meant Benjen would depart from the wall and ride back home. Maybe he'd be as vexed as she, and they could slink off from the mess together like when she was much smaller and when he smiled more. That's what she told herself over and over as she side-stepped and moved between bodies of bustling servants and staff alike. She could see the formation already taking place in the center - a line, every Stark of Winterfell lined up in rows. The bastard and ward in the back, as if meant to conceal them. She recalled Catelyn's quiet insistence Jon need not be seen first thing when Robert and his own house arrived. Ned had insisted. Alysanne chewed her inner cheek to the point of an ulcer. The idea her nephew tossed wayside so easily and frequently made her stomach curdle for a moment, as it had millions of times before, before she noticed the empty gap in the children. A missing body - one she immediately turned her head about for. She could see horses, brilliant and strong steeds, already at the gates. She moved fast to locate the girl. When she happened upon her niece, she was in the wooden wagon seated away - some metal piece a top of her head. She peered over the side at the wheelhouses. When hands reached under her arms and lifted, she squealed. "Come now." Alysanne gritted through her teeth as she strained slightly to raise the growing girl and set her upon her feet again. "You won't get a good look at our King from there." She began to push her along with a gloved hand, her niece resisting somewhat the entire way. "I do not care for seeing the King - I want to see the Imp!" She turned her head back and up, looking at her aunt from below. From so much lower to the ground, Alysanne looked as firm and unyielding as the remaining weirwood trees - like she'd been carved from one, not born of a flesh mother. "You'll get an even poorer view of the Imp that far away." She reached and grabbed the old steel helmet from behind and pulled it off her head, tossing it wayside. "There is not much man to see." She mumbled under her breath, nudging her along to rejoin her family. She came to the line, nudging the girl along before taking her place aside her brother. She stood to his left, his lady-wife and children right. He looked to her, raising a brow in silent question. "Need I explain where your beloved Arya was?" She quietly replied, lips curving into a faint smile. "You should know your babes by now, Ned." The image of Robert Baratheon was not what was anticipated, per say. Alysanne had barely had a thought string at the mass of their king when she heard a snicker from behind. Her head whipped around, shooting a glare so sharp it may have nicked the ward the offending sound came from. She stared with a tensed jaw, watching as Theon's face fell and turned away somewhat, head dipping as if his boots were interesting. Her eyes went to her eldest true-born nephew, who promptly faced forward as well. By the gods, she thought to herself. This surely is not the Demon of the Trident I saw last.

Of course, it was. Robert Baratheon was a tall man with a demanding voice, and Alysanne recalled him as being handsome. Twenty years prior, anyway. She recalled the Tourney of Harrenhal, hanging onto Brandon's arm and observing Robert's loud laughter with his cup of ale. A smile, and a cozy seat next to Lyanna who Alysanne still regarded as the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. *"With luck and some choice ravens sent by our father, you shall wed a man like him when you come of age."* Brandon had murmured. But she had watched Robert's eyes trail a serving girl, a Karstark girl, and some faceless woman who she only recalled in beautiful lilac, and Alysanne wondered if Brandon had meant it as a promise or warning.

None the less, she curtsied with a smooth precision as the King ambled towards them all. "Your Grace." Her brother had rumbled. She lifted her head when he didn't respond - finding the man staring at her brother. "You've gotten fat." Alysanne looked to her brother, watching carefully. Finally, Ned raised a brow, giving him a once over as if a silent question. Silence hung and she was sure the children were fearful - until that laugh like the air escaping a toy filled the area. It turned into a belly laugh, which Robert had much of, and her brother smiled. One of the few times she saw him laugh, actually. Alysanne met her sister-by-law's gaze beyond her brother, both women smiling faintly - in relief, it seemed. "Aly!" Her head snapped to. For a moment, a golden queen was in her vision and she met green. She attempted to curtsy again but Robert's presence was demanding, and the image of Cersei Lannister must wait. He came close, arms wide. "Aly!" He bellowed again. "I recall when you were only elbows and knees and teeth too large for your mouth!" He jabbed as he entrapped her in a hug she could describe as 'bone-crushing'. She put her arms under his, gloved hands resting on his back and gently patting. She kept her head raised, chin off him. 

"Aye, well, even girls must grow." She stated. That had been so long ago now and she'd been a girl of two-and-ten. He pulled back, staring over her face. "Into beautiful ladies, it seems." He smiled only a moment before his face fell to something more haunted. He took a moment. "You share her eyes." Alysanne's face dropped slightly. Robert did not see such as he moved onto Catelyn with ease. She hated how he behaved. Like he'd been the only man alive to know Lyanna - like he'd been the only graced by her. She bit down on her inner cheek again, and the comforting sting spread along the inside of her face. She stared at the side of his head and her contempt must've been too blatant. She turned her head back towards the arriving party of easily three-hundred. She'd found a Lannister always demands attention. Whether it be silent or forward, someway the greed she perceived when she thought of a golden lion extended beyond coin and extravagances and power. Her eyes fell down the line of children and she found Bran entranced. She followed his gaze, one she couldn't define, right to the man. The Kingslayer was one such presence. Alysanne even herself found her eyes looking. The man was of story and not a particularly good one. Ned had spoke scarcely of when he'd found him with Aerys's blood on his blade and cloak, perched on the throne. Alysanne had always had the same thought while her brother had spoken so harshly, so deeply of the honor and Oathbreakers. She always thought of the girl in Riverrun, who'd lost her brother and father. Who'd wept like a woman for the first time someone told her the Mad King was dead. That silent sort of weeping where one's mouth doesn't open, as she knew not many tolerated the sound of a woman's pain without ire.

She'd found she couldn't share in her brother's sentiment. She bit the inside of her cheek again, and looked away right when his gaze shifted to her own. She hadn't even been listening to her brother and Robert's conversation. But she caught the end.

"Take me down to your crypt. I want to pay my respects."

Alysanne bit down again.

"We've been riding since dawn." The Queen interjected with as much grace as possible. "Surely, the dead will wait." Her soft little smile was a pure formality. As did every inch of her, Alysanne decided. But they were both women, and she recognized the silent disdain in Cersei's eyes all too well.

Robert gave her a hard, hard look. He turned to Ned, and gruffly nodded. With that her brother turned and led him away. Alysanne was biting again. The line fell apart as people moved to their tasks - lord and lady alike. Catelyn would have to be a hostess, she knew. So Alysanne moved for the younger children first. "Sansa, see to it your sister remains clean between now and the feast." She'd instructed. She lifted the young Rickon onto her hip with some finesse - these children were growing much too fast. She placed a hand on Bran's shoulder, snapping his trance as his head turned to her. "You two shall come with me. And you three-" She gestured a pointed finger towards Robb, Theon, and Jon. "I trust you all will be as sober as a maester by the beginning of the feast?"

"Of course, Aunt. Wouldn't want to risk your public ire." Robb remarked with a smile that said anything but 'I will obey'.

"Swear it on the old gods." Theon had jabbed. Her eyes narrowed for a moment before shaking her head, deep brown hair moving with it. She led Bran with one hand, and held Rickon close with the other arm. As she glanced back to the mess of lions and stags in her home, she bit down on her inner cheek.

She released when she tasted blood.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

Like, I'm just ✨sick of this shit✨, ok? I'm sick of this shit. I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT. I'M FUCKING SICK OF THIS SHIT. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING DEAD BABIES ON MY FEED AND HAVING REAL LIFE PEOPLE (with their behavior and words they know are in my earshot) TELL ME THEY'RE BETTER THAN ME AND THEY DON'T RESPECT ME BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE IT THAT BAD AND OTHER PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE AND IT MAKES ME SICK.

I am fucking sick of knowing that:

The chair of my city's Republican party PUBLICLY says that women are ONLY equal to men when it comes to making babies, and otherwise it is "WORKING MEN" who are the key to society because villages don't raise families, MEN do. And NO ONE gives a singular SHIT that he said this

My coworker AGREES WITH and supports people like this.

I REGULARLY CLEAN UP AFTER MY COWORKER WHO SITS ON HIS PHONE ALL DAY LISTENING TO TRUMP SHIT AND OCCASIONALLY SONGS THAT HAVE HOZIER NO SIR THAT IS ✨NOT✨ FOR YOU. BUT I HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO HIM -- AND,

Listen to him TALK SHIT TO HIS FRIENDS ABOUT HOW NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE DAUGHTERS BC SONS ARE WHERE IT'S AT AND BLAH BLAH BLAH, LIKE I HAVE DAUGHTERS AND THEY'RE PRETTY FUCKING GOOD YOU ASSHOLE?

Fucking jesus fucking christ it's the stupidest fucking bullshit I've ever heard of. This man sits here listening to his bullshit AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'LL HAVE RIGHTS NEXT YEAR????? BUT HE'S BETTER THAN ME????

So like, I was pretty big into HP awhile back because I was bullied heavily as a child, and I found a lot of solace in those stories. Even more when my parents died and I really related to that aspect of the stories. I thought it was about welcoming those who were otherwise unaccepted, those who were cast out for dumb fucking reasons. It heavily shaped my worldview into believing I should be KIND and ACCEPTING and fight against bigotry.

And like. Look. I have trans friends who are the KINDEST, SWEETEST, BRAVEST, MOST HARD WORKING people I fucking know who are just as TERRIFIED of being jailed or killed as I am of my little girls being shot bc their mom is a pretty staunch supporter of lgbtqia+ and POC and women's rights; or trump gets into the Whitehouse and decides to level the blue cities to send a message. So obviously it was pretty crushing when the author of the works that INSPIRED ME TO BE THIS FUCKING EMPATHETIC IN THE FIRST PLACE decided to double triple quarter pounder cheeseburger down on being a bully to people like this.

WHY SHOULD MY FRIENDS BE THIS TERRIFIED WHEN THEY'RE THE BEST PEOPLE I KNOW, AND OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO ARE LAZY FUCKING DUMB ASSHOLES JUST GET TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT WITHOUT CARE??????? "WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT ABORTIONS IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL EVER NEED ONE" BECAUSE YOUR DAUGHTER MIGHT NEED ONE SOMEDAY AND COULD DIE WITHOUT IT? WTF WHY DO THESE BULLIES ALWAYS GET A FREE PASS TO BE BULLIES???????

And I'm not going to comment on today's news because it broke today and maybe there's more facts and maybe there's not but what I am going to say is it fucking SUCKS to think that someone who was an advocate, maybe doesn't really respect you or people like you, maybe hurt people, maybe doesn't care -- I don't fucking know but it SUCKS. It's STUPID and it SUCKS and it ESPECIALLY sucks for the people hurt along the way.

I'm not trying to make any kind of definitive declaration or comment, I just have so much ANGER and fear these past few months and just so much SHIT has happened and I just am so fucking beyond cannot evening anymore with this bullshit WHY DO WE TREAT OTHER HUMAN BEINGS LIKE THIS AS IF MOST OF US DIDN'T DIE OFF IN A PLAGUE IN THE 14th CENTURY YOU'D REALLY THINK THE PEOPLE LEFTOVER WOULD LEARN TO DO BETTER AND APPRECIATE EACH OTHER.

So fuck it I'll make this a voting PSA

PLEASE VOTE

PLEASE VOTE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T WANTING TO DESTROY DEMOCRACY

IF YOU CAN VOTE PLEASE HELP OTHERS VOTE

IF YOU CAN'T VOTE YOU CAN STILL HELP, LOOK INTO VOTE FORWARD OR VOLUNTEER TO HELP YOUR OLDER FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO SIGN UP OR OFFER A RIDE OR BABYSITTING OR SOMETHING

PARTICIPATE IN PRIMARIES AND SHIT AND LOCAL ELECTIONS TO TRY TO EFFECT ✨BETTER✨ CHANGE THAN THE OPTIONS BEFORE US RIGHT NOW

I'm just sick of this shit. Fucking do better. FUCK

[cringefailcabitha]

sorry i dont have tumblr (i only use it to stalk cabby art LOL) and idk if youll answer this but i am known as the cabby yapper by my friends so i wanted to bring this up to someone who thinks about her as deeply as me

do you ever like think about how terrifying mephones plan for a season 4 would have been to cabby specifically? out of all of the final 3 she has been hurt by the game the most (with no closure mind you unlike balloon), i think having to go through everything again would genuinely break her. even if shes less misunderstood the game still puts pressure onto her to be a facts machine, a strategist. when shes literally the kindest person ever, trying to comfort silver (despite his constant mistreatment of her), and sacrificing almost every post merge challenge for the sake of somebody else (i.e giving up her inani-mate for yinyang, sacrificing herself in episode 13 to put herself on the line with yinyang even if she was manipulating them out of obligation, AND EPISODE 15 SHE DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE WON IF SHE HAD USED HER FILES and completely foiling blueberrys plan, but she didnt because she cared about bot)

in the episode when shes reading the file, the screen actually starts shaking a little. implying she was absolutely horrified at what she was reading. and she had every single right, especially considering what shes gone through.

the other thing that’s absolutely insane to me is the fact that this information was conveyed to her via a file. aka her disability aid, something she relies on. that mustve been horrifying to see something so person to her used against her in such a way.

sorry i regurgitated a lot of this info from the shut i put on tiktok. im just genuinely crazy about cabby

ALSO UR A CABTUBE TRUTHER IM LITERALLY SO IN LOVE WITH CABTUBE i am lesbian cabbys number one truther and see her shipped with men far too much. but like i was so hoping test tube would at least apologize or something. it irritates me how they can make one sided silvercandle canon but they cant show us anymore one-sided cabtube. just make her blush or something. but tbh it made me emo when test tube (and pb bc they nodded) oraised cabby, it made me genuinely crazy.

also unshout out to everyone bullying cabby this episode genuinely why were half of them so mean please let silver Die slowly and painfully. also if lifering (i hc him and cabby as father and daughter, like u cannot convince me lifering and floory arent her dads) switched up on cabby i will personally take his soul like the grim reaper he will be seeing these hands.

sorry feel free to ignore this!

-🍭

😭 I was for real thinking about that earlier today like hasn’t she been through enough… Yes Cabby is a very competitive person but after everything that happened to her in this season and the fact that she’s Still in a vulnerable place right now I don’t think she would find it particularly enjoyable to not receive a prize and then immediately be thrust into a new season of competition— and as a team leader, no less.

Test Tube thanking her for apologising was,,, weird to me. I literally rolled my eyes. It gave me the impression that she (and Paintbrush) think Cabby *should* be apologising to everyone for making some of them uncomfortable? And I just don’t agree. As polite as it is, I think it’s way overstating her actions. Like… why is it “right” to apologise to the entire jury for her past behaviour making “some of them uncomfortable” pre episode 7 when she had never even worked with half of them when said behaviour was supposedly occurring? It’s so frustrating to me, like… how much smaller does she have to make herself for them to be satisfied? I don’t get it.

And of course, “making them uncomfortable” thing again comes back to her files. It’s basically impossible for her not to internalise the idea that keeping information is bad because she Might get things wrong (which. Is another thing. As far as we’ve seen, her writing is almost always correct, barring Bot which is an obvious outlier, and erroneously attributing Suitcase turning on her alliance in season 2 to Balloon’s manipulation.) In episode 15 too, aka the worst Test Tube episode to me, she says Cabby thinks everyone is just “what she happened to write down” as if Cabby is careless and doesn’t do her due diligence when writing her files. Which to me directly contradicts her calling Cabby’s Fan file “impeccable” and having “so many notes” back in episode 2?

And as for Test Tube’s assertion that Cabby would turn on her the moment she stopped being useful, and that she treated everyone like chess pieces on her little board, it really felt like her jumping to conclusions because of what happened with Fan. Because she has done that to no other member of the Pinkers. And there is way less manipulation on Cabby’s part in the show than Test Tube’s irritation would have it seem.

I’m not sure if the writers intentions were to make Cabby as manipulative as Silver from the beginning, but if it was and that’s why this is all going on, well. Mission status isn’t exactly a success to me— the only manipulation she does is in episode 2, when she tries to get Bot to vote out Fan (and presumably the rest of the team as well), and episode 7, where she makes a big show of approaching Silver about how it would be better for him to stack the ice cream because, knowing him to be lazy and careless, it would increase the odds of him screwing up the challenge and make it easier to vote him out.

I’m at least relieved that Test Tube seems to have been thinking about things whenever Cabby says something self-effacing or seems to be nice, because it gives me hope that she may finally realise she’s been taking it too far and maybe Cabby will get an apology, but the fact that she’s been just sitting on it for like 3 episodes by now is killing me,

[dandyshucks]

rambling about Guz under the cut hsdhgjkl, CW for abuse and (c)ptsd talk as well as discussion of racism

i've hesitated to say anything about his trauma-caused aggression and anger because i fear it'll be misconstrued by ppl (<- tags on that other post that i'm going off of bc i wanna ramble abt it)

he's not Scary or Violent or Mean. i mean maybe other ppl might view him that way, he might come across that way if you don't know him well, but like.... its trauma. if you were physically abused as a child... yeah. youre gonna come out of that with issues that won't be pretty. you're not going to be the Perfect Victim. you are going to have symptoms and reactions and whatnot that are ugly and difficult and upsetting and hard-to-be-around sometimes.

I am really aware and cautious of the stereotype where many men of colour (mainly black men, but this also includes indigenous men and some other men of colour) are portrayed as being Big and Aggressive, so I have avoided getting anywhere near that, especially since I made the decision to change Guz's skintone in my portrayal of him (which I'm not going to get into, at least rn, but that decision was carefully thought out as well for me). So I always get a bit worried that IF I show any of that side of his trauma, it is going to come off the wrong way.

When I look at him being angry and aggressive in any way, I'm coming at it from the perspective of "this is a man who was a child who was abused and beaten, and he's grown up being taught he needs to Fight, that he needs to be scary in order to be safe, and he is very afraid in a way that translates to anger because that's the way he learned to deal with that emotion." And then we (Guz and co) figure out how to work with that, how to start unravelling all the trauma that's packed into that behaviour, how to start unlearning those reactions and begin working on new ways of Being. He's got a safe environment now, where the people he's around genuinely care about him, where he doesn't have to scare the people around him in order to be respected and safe. Plumes and the squad love him, and Junebug loves him, and he doesn't want to hurt any of them. He also doesn't want to continue that cycle of abuse, doesn't want the grunts or anyone else to feel afraid of him like he was afraid of his dad, nor does he want any of the grunts to feel like they have to be aggressive to be safe in the world.

I'm also aware of the fact that I have white skin even if I am indigenous lol, and the little white-skinned partner appearing to be the "uwu soft niceys" one in the relationship with the big "aggressive" man with brown skin is uhhhh a really fucking awful look! really fucked up! And it's not something I'm interested in presenting to the world, even if it's just in this small circle of the internet. That's a really fucked up dynamic to be putting out there without context lmao.

Anyways, so even if Guz has that shit going on, I'm very careful with how I present it and aware of how it might come across, and if I ever step over any lines, people are more than welcome to holler at me and let me know I've fucked up!

Currently, I figure he was working on shit for a while before my self-insert came along (this is not a case of "i will fix you all by myself" because again... my white skin makes it look like white saviorism, plus I do not think thats a very interesting dynamic for me personally anyways lol, you gotta be putting in a bit of work yourself for me to stick around very long and help you out), and then Junebug showing up was just another motivational force to keep working on his shit. Guz has a good group of people around him and Junebug is just kind of a bonus in the situation. He'd be putting in the work either way, but they're just a little extra boost for him.

I think he’ll always have a bit of a tendency to react with the fight instinct rather than flight or freeze in situations where he is genuinely terrified and doesn’t have time to think through a reaction, but all of the rest of it improves. It’s amazing what a person can change about the way their brain is wired with enough time and effort and support!