#what can i say im desperate for polyamorous content

[onepandaparfait]

Road To... Series Review

*disclaimer: I’m calling the characters Bing, Bob, and Dorothy because it’s easier to keep track of them. I don’t ship rpf.

**disclaimer 2: I have read these actors wikis. You don’t need to tell me what they’ve done.

I caught Road to Bali on TV recently and decided to finish the rest of the famous Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, and Dorothy Lamour series. I now know why Road to El Dorado turned out so gay and polyamorous, because well, it’s in the original. In that 40s/50s way that’s both gay and homophobic at the same time. (like two male character will kiss and go yuck but it's lighthearted)

Because these movies will not leave my mind, here’s my ranking of the series from favorite to least favorite.

Road to Morocco

The premise is that Bing sells Bob into slavery (A constant in this series is Bing stealing from Bob or getting Bob into situations), but luckily a beautiful princess (Dorothy) has bought Bob with the intention to marry him due to a premonition that says her first husband will die within a week. Bing shows up at the palace to save him and a love triangle ensues.

Ok no surprise here, but this one is the best. Not only are the jokes better, but the camerawork is a major step up from the previous two AND it actually has songs I like (they are currently on repeat).

There’s gag where a camel kisses both Bing and Bob and they think the other has kissed them. They both go in to kiss a mirage Dorothy and end up kissing each other. The movie ends with them both getting girlfriends, so that’s nice.

Road to Rio

The premise is that Bing and Bob stowaway on a ship and save a wealthy Dorothy from committing suicide (just like in Titanic) and they have to save her from her evil aunt who is hypnotizing her. Kinda complicated, but zany fun.

Second Best. Some really funny bits like the closet fight. I like that the trio was up against a real villain. I also like that Dorothy has to seduce Bob to get him to go along with their plan. I don’t care for the very last joke where it’s revealed that Bob is hypnotizing Dorothy, but it doesn’t ruin the movie for me.

Road to Bali

Oddly the only film in color. Ok so… Bing and Bob are on an island where both fall in love with Dorothy, but she can’t decide which one she wants to marry, so she decides to marry them both, but on the day of the wedding, she’s prevented from going, so Bing and Bob marry each other and the volcano is ok with polyamory but not gay marriage so it destroys the island and in the end Bing gets two girls and Bob gets none.

It’s my third favorite, because of how silly it is. Also there’s a scene after the wedding where Bing and Bob hold hands on a bed that I found weirdly cute?? I just don’t like that Bob ends up alone at the end of most of these. There are a lot of jokes throughout the series about how ugly he is and I don’t see it??

Road to Utopia

Ok… Bob and Bing are showmen who pretend to be criminals to get to a gold mine in Alaska. The map they stole was previously stolen from Dorothy whose father originally found the mine. Dorothy seduces both men to try and get the map from them, but the map is stolen from them by another group and it becomes a race to the gold mine. Bing and Bob befriend a cute dog. Bob gets to cuddle a real black bear. Bing and Bob share a bed which is another constant in the series.

The opening and closing gag was really good and I always like the movies where Dorothy has a bigger role. I also really like the song “It’s Anybody’s Spring” that they perform on the boat. This one is lower on the list because of Robert Benchley’s commentary, which I found annoying and wish wasn’t in the movie.

Road to Singapore

The one that kicked off the rest of the series. It’s an interesting watch because it’s so different from the rest. It’s really domestic and slow. Dorothy moves into Bing and Bob’s house after they save her and a good chunk of the movie is just about them living together. This one ranks low because while I enjoyed the first two acts, the third act features a very long bit with the trio in blackface.

Road to Zanzibar

This one is disappointing because it has a good premise, but does nothing with it. Bing and Bob are con artists who get conned by two female con artists (one of whom is Dorothy of course). Interesting that even though there are two women in this movie, the focus is still the love triangle between Bing, Bob and Dorothy. It could’ve been great. But to no surprise this one is pretty racist and boring.

Road to Hong Kong

The last one in the series and the WORST. Dorothy is only here in one brief scene and you can feel her absence. Her scene is the only good part of the movie. Everything else just makes me cringe and somehow this is the most racist one.

Ok if I had to say something good, I like the opening song and there’s a scene that I thought was cute where Bing has to teach Bob how to flirt (because Bob lost his memory).

--

I recommend checking this series out. Its all in the public domain and on youtube. I would like for there to be more then one fic. Just a heads up, these movies contain typical 40s/50s/60s racism. Dorothy is often playing a nonwhite person (usually not in blackface).

[dionysus-philosophy]

I'm basically screaming out to the void on this one. This is technically a vent where I accept criticisms and advice.

TW/CW: Mentions of abuse, violence, manipulation, general relationship conflict, mentions of suicide attempt and suicide in general, self harm, slurs, overdose, threats, mentions of ejaculation, sexual topics and acts, substance abuse, mild cussing, generally triggering content

Tags have been added to for those looking to block certain tags

Do not read if any of these topics trigger you!

My partner and I are polyamorous and we have been together for over 5 years. I have no partners (by choice because Im focusing on my self-growth) at the moment, and my partner has a few. One of them lives with us. It started under weird circumstances last summer that led to us inviting him to come live with us because he lived in a homeless shelter and was getting aggressive with other people. Whether you believe in the metaphysical or not, I have always had a tried and true intuition that was telling me that maybe we shouldn't allow him to live with us, but I can't argue that he shouldn't have housing because of a gut feeling (even though it's never incorrect), and leaving a fellow trans person on the streets left a bad taste in my mouth, so I allowed it.

Little run down of this person: he has a laundry list of conditions, including but not limited to BPD, bipolar disorder, kleptomania, autism, hallucinations, etc. He acts like a 15 year old at 21 and can never handle conflict, regardless if he's on his meds or talking with a therapist. He will also often twist whatever happened in a conflict to make himself look like the victim if he talks with a therapist or friends (only the ones we're not friends with) and they end up giving the wrong advice as a result and it just furthers the conflict. He is absolutely addicted to weed and alcohol (most times he takes them together) to the point of willing to deal with seizures to cope with shit his meds would have helped with because he developed a sensitivity to THC for a bit. I believe his addiction to weed has influenced his brain to the point of actual concern. He is a major hypocrite and knows this. He also downplays or outright denies my disabilities, what words are slurs, and what my upbringing was like. He yelled at me that spaz was not a slur when I, someone who has been called that a lot, said that it was. He is quick to use slurs in general, especially retard, despite my boundary of not saying that around me, but gets mad if I say it, despite being on the spectrum, too. He's even denied my transness because I am not so desperate to kill myself like he has been before (even though he missed the 8 horrible years of me being trans in public school with closed-minded parents where I actually almost did commit suicide because i felt alone and like i wasnt enough), am not on testosterone, and I'm generally fine being a bit more femme, even though I've said I kind of identify with the term twink to describe myself.

To make a long story short, he has repeatedly abused my partner in every possible way. My partner has risked harm to himself to try keeping this person alive because he has consistent refused to prioritize his medications in favor of testosterone (even though he has a great voice and passes well already, which is his main concern). We have kept him from cutting, from overdosing on medication, from setting himself on fire when we took the meds away, and hiding knives before he takes them and hides them for later use against us. This person has threatened violence against my partner and I, including threatening my partner with a knife (and admitting he did so to scare him, not because he actually wanted to hurt him). The ER doctor advised us to stay at a friend's house one night. This was when he sliced his hand open when trying to take back the knife he threatened my partner with, and we had to convince him to go because he refused to initially. When we honestly told the doctor that he tried to kill himself, that he was stopped, but injured himself with the knife he threatened to kill my partner with, he said they couldn't hold him unless he had intent to actually kill himself or hurt someone else while he was there, so that if he was returned home, we should stay at a friend's house. However, this person booked it when he could and then said the only way we were finding him was as a corpse. That was enough to put him in holding when he complied when found later. He does not respect the boundaries that he agreed to. The episode that resulted in a cut hand was over whether or not my partner came in me or not (weird thing to obsess over, especially when he could have asked me because he knows I don't lie and that I hate lying). And now, because I mentioned that I felt secure in myself in not needing hookups, he has completely acted out like a child. Sure, I said that, but more out of what the conversation was about and stating a fact about myself. There was no meaning behind it, and I never meant for it to come off a certain way. He first pretended like everything was fine and then bitched to my partner for hours about what i said, including using aggressive language in regards to me. And in all of the hypotheticals and past (resolved) problems he decided to bring up, he threatened violence against me, both for himself and to see how my partner would react. My partner is discouraging any violence, but refuses to take sides because this isn't his conflict and he doesn't want his partner to think that he is picking a side (because he has threatened suicide or violence if he even thinks that my partner doesn't agree with him).

I'm exhausted.

In the year I've known him, I'm seeing actual patterns of abuse, noticing that he does these things intentionally, having my own mother and friends (both with and without similar conditions) advise that he either needs to heal and do better or my partner will have to leave him for our safety. Even my partner is thinking of ending our lease early and going as far as moving to a different part of the country, if not just finding a different apartment and ending things with this person. The friends with BPD and bipolar are HORRIFIED of all the stuff they've either witnessed or heard me tell them. I wish I trusted my gut feeling more to set my foot down and I am angry every single day that my partner has to deal with this BS and there's nothing I can do to help him (at least not in a way that is actually productive). I try to be understanding of his conditions, and I know that especially with BPD, what looks like manipulation and abuse are often just trauma responses that they need help managing, but it's becoming too much. I'm tired of the abuse, the lying, the manipulation. I'm so fucking tired. My partner put himself in massive amounts of debt to find a better place after getting screwed over by a different landlord and has never asked this person for any repayment. He has even offered to pay for this person's entire trip back to his original state to stay with a friend because he will often act like he's breaking up with my partner, but when my partner does everything to try and accommodate his feelings and take on every moving cost to keep him from attempting suicide once he's settled, he'll turn it around and act as if my partner is trying to break up with him.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm done with the mind games, I'm tired of seeing my partner be spent to his last thread trying to help this person only for all our efforts to be in vain because he cannot do the bare minimum when we give him so many opportunities to go to therapy, get back on his meds, and better cope with his conditions. I try to remind myself that when he is doing these things, it's not what he truly thinks or wants to do, but we can't keep doing this especially when he has admitted to doing abusive things intentionally, and my partner refuses to prioritize his well-being. All abuse resources often give advice relating to "average" people and none for when a person's mental problems are worse than just depression. Does anyone know what to do? I'm at my wits end here, and I'm genuinely lost.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Beginnings (2/9)

Mammon x ace gn!MC x ace!Leviathan

NOTE - read the content warnings listed in Part 1

[ AO3 | Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 ]

Mammon sprawled out on his bed. He knew exactly why you were avoiding him. And even though he’d scoff and act annoyed, he was really anything but. Every time he’d see you, for a brief moment he’d imagine you running up to him and tackling him in a hug like you’d use to. Which was ridiculous. Of course you wouldn’t do that, not after what he said.

Bored, and lonely, and with nothing else to do, Mammon pulled out his DDD and started browsing through Devilgram. He had initially been trying to distract himself, but it didn’t take long before he had stumbled across some old photos of you and him together. A soft smile spread across his face, even as he felt his heart tightening in his chest. He really missed you.

He swiped to the next image, surprised to find it was one that had been taken by one of his brothers of you and Levi. He noticed the glimmer in your eye as you looked at Levi while must have been ranting about who only knows what. Mammon felt his eyes starting to burn, tears pricking at the corners. He knew that look. That was his look. The one you were only supposed to direct at him. And here you were gazing at his brother like that?!

He was about to chuck his phone across the room, when his thumb swiped the screen again, this time moving on to a video of the three of you. You were at some coffee shop, and Mammon’s arm was wrapped tight around your shoulder, holding you close. Levi had been sitting next to you, awkwardly drinking his ridiculous coffee creation, when you looped your arm through his and tugged him to you so that he was also in the frame. The action made him blush up a storm, but there was that unmistakable look on his face of an idiot in love, one Mammon knew all too well.

Fuck.

He didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before, but seeing the three of you together like that, you smiling and laughing as Mammon realized he was recording a video and not taking a photo, and Levi practically glowing like he was having the best day ever, made it painfully obvious just how smitten the lot of you were. You had done the responsible thing and tried to talk to Mammon about your feelings, and he had been a total dick, letting his insecurity get the better of him.

He had nothing against the idea of a polyamorous relationship in general. He had never had one before, but that was more just about timing and circumstance than any preference on his part. But as soon as you suggested it, a horrible dark, ugly feeling started to consume him and he just couldn’t think straight anymore. The thought that maybe the reason why you wanted such an arrangement with his brother was because Mammon was somehow lacking in some area had been hard to shake.

Mammon glanced back at the video on his DDD, swiping again to move to the next photo, and again and again. Dozens of photos of the three of you (and sometimes his other brothers too). You clearly didn’t think Mammon was lacking. You just genuinely seemed to love them both.

Mammon’s bedroom door suddenly got flung open, Levi forcing his way inside.

“What the hell did you do?!” he shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Mammon.

“What the hell are ya talkin’ about? I haven’t left my room since I got home from RAD!”

“I’m talking about MC, idiot, and why they have been avoiding me.”

“I dunno. Sounds like your problem,” Mammon quipped, turning his attention back to his DDD. He knew exactly what Levi was talking about though. And he knew it was his fault.

“Don’t give me that crap!” Levi shouted, picking up a nearby pillow and chucking it at Mammon. The impact knocked his designer shades askew, “Talk!”

“Fuckin’ hell! Aight. Fine. Wanna know why they’re avoidin’ ya?”

“Obviously!”

“Because they’re in love with you.”

“Th-th-that’s not funny! What kind of sick joke is that? It doesn’t even make any sense!” Levi stuttered, caught completely off guard by the revelation. But Mammon just shrugged his shoulders, hurling the pillow back at Levi, before laying back down on his bed.

“Go ask them if ya don’t believe me.”

Levi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why the hell would Mammon, who was supposed to be your partner, tell him that you had feelings for him? Had he broken up with you? Were you avoiding Levi because you were heartbroken and didn’t know if he’d accept your confession and just couldn’t bear to have your heart broken twice so close together? His thoughts were rapidly skipping from one to the next, as he struggled to make sense of this.

“F-fine! I will!” he finally shouted, slamming the door behind him as he left.

“STOP SLAMMING MY FUCKIN’ DOOR!” Mammon yelled after him.

——————

Back in his room, Levi was pacing in front of his fish tank, talking things over with Henry.

“Should I just go to their room? No, what if Mammon was just lying. Then they might not want to see me! Or worse...Mammon might be with them and I’d walk in on them and he’d just laugh at me for being so stupid. That has to be what this is, right? Some sort of trick because he’s in a bad mood. He just wants me to embarrass myself. There’s no way they’d actually like me. I mean, I know they’re my best friend, but still. That’s totally different than actually liking someone.”

Levi continued to ramble on and on, Henry swimming laps around his tank, like he was simply letting Levi wear himself out before he reached the obvious conclusion.

“Well...maybe I could like, text them? That would work right? Just a simple “ha ha can you believe what Mammon said” sort of thing? That should be ok, right? Not too desperate? What do you think, Henry?”

But Henry didn’t answer, he just continued swimming, leaving Levi to do what he knew he needed to do.

“Fine...but if this doesn’t work out, I’m blaming you,” Levi grumbled, taking out his DDD and tapping your name in his contacts.

>>>LEVI - hey

>>>LEVI - so. I stopped by Mammon’s room earlier

>>>LEVI - and he said you had feelings for me! LOLOL

>>>LEVI - can you believe that?

Levi held his breath as he waited for your response. The little “typing” notification appearing and then disappearing several times left him feeling like he was about to be sick.

>>>YOU - Mammon said that?

>>>LEVI - yeah, crazy right?

>>>YOU - it’s true

>>>YOU - but I don’t know what to do

>>>YOU - it’s complicated

>>>YOU - Levi? Are you still there?

>>>YOU - im sorry, did I say something wrong?

>>>YOU - I really care about you, I do

>>>YOU - you’re my best friend

>>>YOU - it’s ok if you don’t feel the same

>>>YOU - Levi?

[ganseys-aquamarine-polo]

*Rant incoming* Am I the only one just annoyed that everyone always hates on Gansey? That out of the group it's always Gansey that is messed with? I never liked Sarchengsey or whatever it is because I never connected with Henry cause I thought his whole arc was way to sudden. But anyways, why can't people just let Blue and Gansey love each other in peace? Haven't they suffered enough? Why is everyone so convinced Gansey is gay/bisexual/pansexual? (1/2)

“He loves his friends, that’s it! Doesn’t mean he’s gay. Men are allowed to think other men are attractive. And I’m not a homophobe, because I ship Pynch with everything I have but I just want Gansey and Bluesey to be happy and be able to love. And for them to stop hating on my baby Gansey! He isn’t in love with Henry. Lowkey think Henry shouldn’t even be in the story. They aren’t in a polyamorous relationship. Gansey loves Blue. Blue loves Gansey. Jeez we had four books telling us that. (2/2)”

“I don’t mean to sound immature and I’ll continue to read TRC forever and ever but I just feel like Maggie really shit on Bluesey in the last book. Pynch got the perfect ending and Bluesey didn’t even get a post-curse kiss. And they have a third-ish person in the realtionship? AND Maggie goes on tumblr one day and says Blue’s kiss would still kill Gansey? I mean jeez for the couple that started off the series she really stomped them in the dirt in my opinion.Rant over. Sorry about that lol. (3/2)”

“After thinking about it, I didn’t mean to just go full hate on Sarchengsey. Anyone can ship whoever they want to ship. In my opinion, I just feel that I’ve shipped Bluesey for far too long to suddenly add another person I didn’t even connect to. My issue is that it’s always Gansey the fandom is trying to change. Do you notice that? People say he’s bi/pan/gay and good for him if he is, but it’s not - guys are allowed to say “that guy is attractive” that doesn’t mean he’s gay automatically. (4/2)”

“Did they read the same books?I know people interpret things differently but Gansey was/is so gone for Blue. Other than the obvious, “I can sleep after I talk to her” line. There are so many others “He wanted her to know that her bit of skin was more arousing than Orla’s entire body”,“my head knew that but the rest of me didn’t”,he’s turned on by her driving his car! Lol My question in all of this is- why is it always Gansey that people change? Why don’t people appreciate him like I do? lol (5/2)”

Whoo boy, Anon, there is a LOT going on here so I’m gonna have to break it down lol.

About Henry: First off, I see what you mean about Henry’s character feeling sudden and rushed. Tbqh, when I first read TRK, I was ticked that Henry got all of these Special Moments alone with Gansey that imo should’ve happened with Adam or Ronan (ie. going to find Glendower alone, finding the hole in the ground, bringing him down from a panic attack, having the idea to use magic to wake Gansey up, etc.). I liked Henry as a character though, and now I’ve grown to really love him! The toga party was amazing, Henry driving up to Blue’s high school and then staging an argument, the bEE IN THE HOLE SCENE WITH HIM TELLING GANSEY TO BREATHE AHH- but yes, his addition to the story was kinda random?

But! I have to disagree a bit when it comes to Sarchengsey. I definitely see where people feel a romantic attraction exists between Gansey and Henry (“Gansey finally felt what it was to be Known”). Being Known and Understood is something Gansey desperately wanted and never felt, and Henry gave that to him. Even Blue doesn’t completely understand Gansey, and she snaps at him a lot (I have some qualms about Blue but that’s a different post entirely). My minor problem w/ Sarchengsey as a ship is Blue and Henry. Their canon relationship is platonic and doesn’t feel romantic at all, so tbh I think they’re both in love with Gansey- but all of them together just seems like a really warm and happy relationship :). And, as you said, people are welcome to ship whatever they like- but I don’t think Sarchengsey came out of left field, ‘cause there is some definite content in the books that feel like it leads to it.

About Gansey being gay/pan/bi: I also have to disagree a wee bit. I think that Gansey being gay/pan/bi could very easily be true. HOWEVER! I do see your point- important point- about platonic love btwn boys, something shunned and kinda shamed in society that we def need more of. Yes, Gansey can love his friends in an open completely platonic way, and that’s a great thing to see in a guy character, but I think Gansey being gay/pan/bi is believable and Good. And when you say you don’t like fandom “changing Gansey,” I don’t see that too much? My biggest problem, actually, is that Gansey isn’t explored ENOUGH in some ways (but also im biased bc he’s my fav), and what appears to be fandom changing him is actually fandom trying to explore his character more? 

About Bluesey: Gansey loves Blue and that is undeniable and they DEFINITELY got the short end of the stick in trk- and I would’ve liked a post-death scene not just bc of bluesey but I Have So Many Questions and there are Feelings That Need To Be Shared among the whole gangsey ://///////

Sorry this got SO long, Anon!! But thanks!!