#what can i say . Big Gun is my ultimate weakness

[riotshipping]

if i had a nickel for every sniper ive considered f/oing id have a lot of fucking nickels why does this keep happening to me get me out of here

[howlsofbloodhounds]

👀 so you want to talk about Delta's morals...

Well, Delta anon's back again with more ideas!

(TW/CW: murder, gun mention, moral dilemmas, panic attacks)

(Additional disclaimer: the only reason I know as much as I do about this is because I pay a lot of attention to the true crime documents we watch in my forensics class lmao, i promise im not a psychopath.)

So we know that Delta has no issue with killing people who he feels deserves it. This is canon, and it's also followed through in fandom, especially due to him being hot-headed and violent. But, it is also known that he only kills people who he thinks deserves it. So what would it take for him to kill someone?

Let's set up a scenario. For simplicity, let's say that Delta is fighting someone who proves to be a genuine threat to them and their friend's safety. The person has hurt Color and/or Epic, and continue making threats to. After healing whoever got hurt, Delta then chases down this person and immediately picks a fight. As this fight is happening, Epic and Color are away from the scene, most likely at the apartment with Zorox. They do not know that the fight is happening, just that Delta went out to confront the person who hurt/threatened them. Let's say that Delta's weapons are his body and maybe a gun, if he really felt it was necessary to bring it along. He is incredibly angry and now that this person has been deemed a physical threat to his friend's safety, he is looking to kill.

(Now, I would like to say, this attack most likely would not be planned or coordinated, but if Delta felt like the fight might escalate, then they'd lead the other party somewhere secret. He will be smart enough to get away with it. His ultimate goal in a fight is not to kill the other person, just to win the fight - and if death is an outcome, then so be it. However, this also means that he at least has an idea of the person's limits, even if he doesn't know them personally - they know the weak points of the body, and where the danger points are. They will not actively go to punch someone in the throat during a fight unless the person deserves it. And if the person died by his hands, then they'd take the shot to make sure they're 100% dead. He's learned from that type of mistake in the past, and would prefer to not go through it again.)

Here are my thoughts on it:

Like you said, Delta will only kill if he has to. He will never jump straight to murdering someone when fighting, but if the person he's fighting proves too much of a threat to their friend's safeties, then murder is a likely outcome.

This will most likely not be an outcome that they want. There is a very clear moral difference between wanting someone dead and thinking that it'd be better if they were dead - the difference being an easy one, actually. Wanting someone dead means that they've lowered themselves to a 'villains' standard (no specific reason), while thinking someone is better off dead means that someone is too big of a threat to be left alive (a specific reason). Has this person hurt him? What about hurting their friends? A great example of this would be Nightmare. Sure, Delta wants him dead, but they want him dead for a reason. There must be a reason for him to do what he has to do.

I'd also like to bring up their neurodivergence, starting with their ADHD. From my personal experience, neurodivergent people have a strong sense of personal justice - especially against people who have hurt them or loved ones. They can sometimes hyperfocus on getting revenge, which doesn't always result in murder, but it still focuses on the anger and pain they feel due to seeing close friends or loved ones be hurt. This can intensify if it's something they can relate to.

Now, along with this, their PTSD would carry through as well. This is where the morals really get fucked up. Beta has the PTSD of being murdered after trying to fight Asgore, and Sans has the PTSD of his brother being murdered over and over and over again and being completely unable to do anything about it. And they both have the shared memory of killing Chara/Frisk.

So, if they had to kill someone out of necessity, they would - but how badly would it affect them, really? Let's go through that.

First, they'd have to grapple with the sinking realization that they just took someone's life. Justified, most likely, but was it worth it?

The guilt and panic would come crashing down next as the adrenaline drop takes its coarse. They would most likely have a very violent panic attack, being too afraid to call for help or even dare to look at the blood on their hands, horrified at the dead body or dust before them. What have they done? Was it worth it?

But the panic attack will be short-lived, because after the realization kicks in, they will immediately shift focus onto clean-up - because the realization transfer from 'oh shit, I just killed someone' to 'OH SHIT, IM GOING TO FUCKING JAIL' is a large one. Blood or not, they were most likely smart enough to pick the fight with the person in a dimly-lit place with no witnesses or cameras in the vicinity. They will clean it up quickly and get rid of all evidence, including clothes. They will change clothes and develop an alibi, and immediately seek to repress their emotions until they know its safe to let out out somewhere they won't get caught. They will not get caught. Unfortunately for the victim, they are much too smart to get caught.

Once they get back to their friends, they will first check on them to make sure that they're safe and okay. That will be their first priority. Then, once they know Epic and Color are ok, they will try to play it off as normal until they can break down in private.

And as soon as they are able to, they will isolate themselves somewhere they consider 'safe', and finally break down.

And this is where the moral conflict would really begin. This would lead to two conjoined thought processes - the fear of being like their abusers, and the confidence that they are far different from them, murder or not. They will be drop-dead terrified of turning into the people who hurt them, while also trying to justify it to themselves that it was necessary, because if they didn't kill that person, then that person was most likely going to kill them or their friends. And they can't go through that again. Not if there's something that they can do about it this time.

This would most likely lead to a second panic attack, where they now have to think about the consequences of their actions. What would their friends think? What if they get caught? Should they develop an alibi and get out of it, or should they accept their fate and tell the truth? What if there was a witness or a hidden camera there? That kind of evidence is damning. Was it worth it?

They will do their best to hide it from everyone. They do not want to think about it anymore, no matter how justified it was - and how he enjoyed it so sadistically. Watching someone who hurt his friends die so easily at his hands, able to get the revenge they never got for themselves.

They would hide it until they couldn't. But then again, being unable to hide it any longer would look like them slowly opening up - maybe putting on the news and watching to see Color and Epic's reactions of the death report. Then maybe asking what they'd think of him if he killed someone.

Delta would be smart enough to never admit to anything fully. Not getting caught us about making sure no one can prove you did it, or better yet, no one knows that you did it. And if they asked directly? Give a vague answer, or just simply lie.

He does not want them to know the lengths that they will go to to protect them.

Thoughts?

I wonder if he’d feel guilty about it if it were someone like, Nightmare, or someone who did what was Cross was doing—attacking AUs, using and taking control of people. Delta’s main strategy mostly just seemed to be going around and picking fights lmao.

Would you say that Delta’s philosophy could be described as a form of Utilitarian Realism mixed with elements of Moral Pragmatism?

Apparently Utilitarianism is the moral theory that the best action is the one that promotes overall happiness and well-being, but Delta tends to take on a more realistic, sometimes harsh, approach to it. One that says sometimes harsh choices, actions and decisions must be made if it’ll serve his idea of the “greater good.” A real, “the ends justify the means” and “practical solutions to complex problems” type of fella.

Up to and including things like murder if someone won’t stop causing harm, and perhaps even sacrificing the few to save the many. Whichever will have the greatest good for the greatest many, in terms of the wide scale multiverse. And of course, how all this could be applied to the smallest good for the smallest many—his friends and family.

So he probably wouldn’t plan anyone’s murder or intend to murder someone whose being an ass or even threatening him and/or his friends, that’d likely be a horrible accident he’d feel awful about—but he will fight anyone who does something like that to anyone he holds dear. Which is an interesting mix with you throw Killer into the mix—who has the potential to be both, if he hasn’t already.

(such as attacking or manipulating Color in his higher Stages, and of course the things he did with Nightmare. Especially if Killer managed to gain such a high position as Nightmare’s right hand—Killer would have had to do a lot of horrible shit to earn that either willingly or at least enthusiastically (or it must look that way), and it’d very likely involve showing signs of such extreme loyalty that Nightmare could trust him.)

Which is definitely why i do think Delta would be willing to kill Killer (or at least attempt to) if he truly did something—and especially if he ends up back in Nightmare’s hands. He probably won’t do it in a good ending, because of course Killer is supposed to be trying and healing and it would upset Color, but he’d definitely be keeping an eye on him and be willing to fight him if he thinks he has to.

(And he’d definitely be willing to do the same for Cross too. We don’t talk a whole lot about Epic and Delta’s relationship, and Epic can definitely look after himself and hold his own, but Delta would protect and look after him too—even if that means squaring up with Epic’s “bruh.” He did it once, he’ll do it again 🗣️ 🗣️.)

[kakuzatos]

kobeni’s devil

!! spoilers for chainsaw man !!

so, episode 9 came out and i watched it with vigor. as expected, kobeni slayed this episode and didn’t disappoint me with her moves. damn, she was quick. you really can’t have a pure hatred for kobeni, it will always have love in the mix. 

and while i was thinking about her, i got curious about her devil again. really, what is this big secret... why was she the only one who got out alive after 100 chapters while other characters like aki and power were ultimately killed off? she surely has relevance in the plot and there is a reason why her devil is concealed as a secret. a devil like that would be thought of as a dangerous one because kobeni can’t even say its name. 

naturally, i go to a full-on zoning out session thinking of the many possibilities of kobeni’s devil. 

i. well, first, i thought of the possibility of her being a devil that has a human-like appearance like makima, yoru and fami. that is a good theory, but her having a family and a brother denounces it a bit. i’m not saying that devils don’t have families and aren’t capable of being raised by one (makima was raised by the government, that’s why she’s like the way she is, if that ever counts as a family). i’m not particularly fond with this one, though, since kobeni is pretty much the most human person in the whole cast. i mean, look at her. 

scared shitless. if she was a devil, she would’ve been happy. devils thrive on fear, they don’t live with it. that would be pretty fun, though. 

ii. moving on. she could have a contract with the death devil. it’s probably the most overstated theory and for good reason. first of all, i’ve read this comment in a reddit post about a totally unrelated, regardless interesting, observation on chapter 113.

the comment reads: 

Getting back to my tangent about the Four Horsemen: the Four Horsemen are unique because, unlike normal devils, who only use fear, the Horsemen are each able to use one of the four emotions unique to humans, listed by the Doll Devil in ch 63:

Conquest uses Worship (aka reverence). So long as humans revere her, they hold her in a "higher place", allowing her to control them. Put from her POV, that means that, so long as the human is "lower" than her, she can control them.

Conquest bends the "rules" around devil contracts in two ways. The first way is obvious - she can force "lesser" humans to submit to her contracts. The second way is by being able to claim ownership over other devils. This means that, unlike a normal devil, Conquest can use other devils like as though they were part of her own body. This gave her the ability to use Angel's powers as though they were her own. This also means she could offer the bodies of other devils in her contracts, as we saw with Aki and the Gun Devil.

War uses Guilt. The greater the guilt she feels, the stronger the weapon she creates. The irony here is that War is so selfish and so absent of the understanding of right and wrong that she's unable to feel much guilt over anything she does. She blames Pochita for her current weakness, but really, she's inherently pretty weak compared to the other Horsemen, just because of this anti-synergy with her own power.

War bends the "rules" by forming completely lopsided "contracts". Like Makima, Yoru removes the human's consent from the equation - if she claims ownership, so long as it's something she can touch, she can weaponize it. But the person turned into a weapon gains nothing from it, the only benefactor is Yoru. Completely one-sided "contracts".

Famine uses Adoration/Respect. We'll see what this means exactly later, but I think I kind of touched on it in my other comment. War and Famine are a yin and yang duo - Yoru is "night", while the heart of Justice "shines with light". And while Yoru is completely selfish and devoid of the understanding of good and evil, Famine seems stuck doing things for others (in other words, is "selfless"), all while being very concerned with the understanding of good and evil. Yoru's power is based on guilt, aka, being able to sense the evil in yourself. So hence, I suspect Famine's "Respect"-based powers are based on being able to sense the good in other people.

Famine bends the "rules" by also forming completely lopsided contracts. The difference is, while Yoru only takes... as Yuko pointed out, Justice only gives. My guess is that, if Famine senses that a human is "good", she can form zero-cost contracts.

Death uses Pity. Pity is the feeling you get when you watch other living things suffer. The idea that Death gets stronger from feelings of pity sends shivers down my spine...

This is especially the case if it's true that every Horseman is trying to cancel out the source of their own power. Conquest's dream is to form equal, nonhierarchical, relationships, which flies in the face of a being whose power is based on hierarchy. So if Death wants to be rid of the "source of its power", too, then wouldn't it have to get rid of all suffering?

notice something about death. death is also powered by pity. kobeni is pretty damn pitiful in almost all her screentime, manga or anime, except her fabulous show in episode 9. but she did experience a lot of torment and she is generally seen as pitiful. maybe, just maybe, that pity she gets from other people is what feeds the death devil. and having to survive all what happened in the past arcs, i wouldn’t be surprised if she ever was involved with such a mortifying devil like the death devil. she dodged death in multiple occasions, it’s like death sided with her. another thing, in hell or chapter 63-64, the darkness devil didn’t even try to kill her. maybe it’s scared?

it’s also such a fun concept to think about. this traumatized girl who is about to shit herself has a contract with the death devil. fucking metal. the thought alone deserves its own book. 

iii. kobeni has a contract with the luck devil! a lot of people agree with this one! i don’t know if it’s good luck or bad luck, though. she seems to somehow have both, so i’m not sure. many people do lean into the idea of a “chance devil”, but i’m pretty certain, if that was the case, it would be the “bad luck” or “misfortune” devil. if there was a luck devil, why would anyone fear good luck? it would’ve been extremely weak because, in retrospect, no one would fear good luck. 

so, bad luck. in this article, it stated that kobeni somehow feeds the bad luck devil with her own bad luck and fear, explaining why she doesn’t sacrifice her body parts. 

although this is good, personally i don’t favor it too much. fujimoto is known for his chaotic direction of his manga and always being spontaneous that you can’t predict it, but it’s done so, in a way, that it’s orchestrated. hints are left, foreshadowing is present; it’s chaotic but makes sure to make sense to us too. a good story should make sense while maintaining its unpredictability. so, a death devil is already hinted. a bad luck devil is not. (yet) 

well, this theory will just have to wait for a while. maybe, there will be a time when a bad luck devil will appear or get mentioned. 

iv. in this post, kobeni is theorized to be contracted with a devil connected to survival. for one, if that devil were to be connected to survival, it could either mean: a fear of death or a fear of getting hurt. 

a fear of death relates to the death devil. 

a fear of getting hurt relates to a pain devil of some sorts. a pain devil would be cool because it will be powerful. almost all humans are scared of being hurt and will make a bit more sense in the storyline, considering that her line of work is potentially getting hurt and seeing others getting hurt because of her. pretty neat theory! 

v. same post in iv, there’s a comment where she might be have a contract with the knife devil. although, there is no evidence to back this up, her main weapon of choice is a knife. in a way, it makes sense.  

v. car devil. no questions. in fact, according to u/LeynaSepKim, it was even foreshadowed in chapter 5, in their post.

all are only speculation! feel free to correct me or add some other theories. the only thing we can do to form more theories and solidify existing ones is to wait. we have yet to see her full potential. she is shown to be athletic in the anime and the manga, but not her power in its entirety. 

[egg-emperor]

I was thinking (my thoughts get a lil morbid at times), given that Eggman is shown to STILL be salty about Maria's death stealing attention from him over 50 years ago, Do you think it's possible that he takes a moment to mentally gloat over maria's death and be smug about how he's still alive and she's worm food (and proclaim himself the superior Robotnik)?

Like would he look down on her for being "stupid" for not ditching Shadow to save her own ass and for being "weak" because she died from a single dinky little bullet, while he has survived things that would have killed an ordinary man 10 times over , multiple times?

Yours and mine both lol you know you've come to right place here 🤝

I mean Eggman is canonically so horrible, self-centered, and selfish that he feels resentment towards his dead 12 year old cousin and felt jealous when people talked about her because it wasn't all about him like he thinks it always should be. And even decades later as an adult, he didn't grow out of it and think "that was wrong, she was an innocent soul who was killed in a terrible way and people talked about her because she was a nice sweet girl and I was just bring a bratty kid demanding attention" like others would. He has held onto it to this day and it suits him very well for how horrible and selfish he is, how he has low empathy, and how he's a manchild.

So I can definitely see him having the most twisted thought process to make himself feel better on the occasion she crosses his mind. Like when he feels that bitterness seeping in and gets agitated again, he turns his nose up and scoffs and grumbles nasty stuff like "Some great, strong, brave girl she was when she died to a measly bullet, pfft" and "If she's so great, why is she long gone while I'm the one still here, accomplishing amazing things and on my way to victory and ruling my glorious empire?" and mentally lists all the amazing things he's done that she never came close to and things he's survived that would've killed a normal man a hundred times over.

I also like the idea that he'd judge like "She really died so he could be saved, what a pathetic waste of life. When I rescued Shadow with a robot when he fell to earth, it was because I was going to make good use of him as a weapon/tool and use him as the blueprint for my androids!" instead of just doing it as some foolish selfless act that ends up getting him killed like she did instead of saving herself! Because he really can't understand doing anything for anyone ever if it won't benefit himself by appealing to his own selfish desires in any way. And it's another way he can blame her and feel like he would've made the better smarter choice.

And because he acts like it was so easy to wipe out GUN himself and like they're just nothing and so pathetic compared to him like I mention in my next post, I can imagine him acting like being killed by GUN of all things is such a skill issue because they're so weak and pathetic too, as yet another way to have a one up over Maria. And yes, by saying that he'd actually also be insulting his grandfather and idol in the process, whether it comes to his mind or not. But with the way he also called Shadow the "so called" Ultimate Life Form and literally just dissed him and his creation like that in the very same TailsTube ep, I don't think that would exactly concern him lol

These are all the things that come to his mind whenever she crosses his mind and gets him grumpy, it will soon put a big proud cheeky smirk on his face and cheer him right back up again. He won't hesitate to put anyone down in any way he can to affirm that he's the superior, even in the absolute sickest of ways like that! That's golden, he's so nasty XD 💜

[justanothersyscourse]

Ah sorry I mistyped! I meant how do you know for sure it’s not possible for a system to NOT come from trauma? (So how you know endos, etc. can’t exist)

I thought so! Thank you for resending, it gives me a chance to talk a bit about how my views have evolved. I hope everyone will stick through to the end.

This got a lot longer and a bit more rambly than I thought? Sorry, guys.

So, short answer, I don't know that for sure.

No one can know because we're talking about a subjective, personal experience. When I first started syscoursing, I came in, guns blazing, believing endos just didn't exist. That it simply wasn't possible.

It was actually my therapist, a specialist, who opened my mind a bit.

I went to school for social services to become a therapist, but after I graduated and worked a bit in the field, I realized I was terrible at it. Not only was I still in a very bad situation, making me unable to effectively help people, but I just had zero patience for people working through trauma. I had to learn to handle my trauma reactions real fast and effectively, whether that was in a healthy way or not, and people moved way slower than I felt safe handling. That's neither here nor there, but explains the conversation I had with my therapist.

She told me, no, DID is a childhood, trauma-based disorder. That's not even up for debate, and research is only further proving that. Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot.

But she also spoke to me as a colleague, not a client (I've been out of her care for years, though we've kept in touch since I expressed an interest in returning to the field). She reminded me of all the ethics and compassion training I went through. She reminded me of how we're supposed to approach things we don't understand. She told me what she would do if she ever ended up with an endo as a client.

She would listen, be receptive, learn. People can be misguided and misinformed, but they can't be wrong about the way they're experiencing something. In other words, if a person is sad over something you find strange, they're not wrong about being sad. In the context of systems, if someone says they're experiencing their life through multiple lenses or as if they're a working group of parts or people, they're not wrong about that. It's their truth, and we can't prove or disapprove, only try to understand, and, as is the ultimate goal of therapy, do our best to help with what they've come to us for. For example, I didn't go to her for help with my system, I went to her for help with my anxiety and OCD.

I know she's right, but... This is why I didn't stay in the field. Clearly I'm still having trouble holding my tongue and being nice, though I'm doing my best and trying to be better.

But in my few years in syscourse, I've come across a couple commonalities, and come to one big, main conclusion.

Systems:

1) the philosophical concept of the self and endos - questions of the self, the interaction of self-parts and perception, personal experiences and self expression, and self training (There's no way to disprove perception, and I'm totally on board and learning to be supportive, but this usually further delves into supernatural concepts, at which point I check out-- you can ask me to believe your self expression but you can't expect me to believe things about alternate dimensions and ghosts, at that point you're pushing your luck and putting me in danger, because supernatural concepts and mental health disorders don't mix. imo, telling me there's a chance my alters are from another dimension when some of us already have a weak grasp on reality is shitty)

2) misattributed symptoms - symptoms of psychosis, autism, various personality disorders-- literally ANYTHING being mistaken for "systemhood" (I genuinely worry about these people because encouraging someone to further dissociate parts of themselves can be dangerous if they're actually experiencing something different, but I feel like it's impossible to talk about the comparison of experiences without someone calling for your death, because you're not allowed to question self expression at all, ever, especially in endogenic communities)

3) endos actually just experiencing DID - there's no denying that many endogenic systems eventually realize that they're "traumagenic" (I hate that term), or that many have a skewed opinion of what DID and being disordered "looks like" (people saying they're not "disordered" enough to have DID, despite the DSM saying you can be very highly functional and still have the disorder-- this is just ableism), or the whole mixed origin thing, as if those aren't normal experiences in DID, too

My conclusion and my current goals:

Endos are clearly experiencing something and I'm not here to argue with them anymore about whether it's possible. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is. No one will ever be able to definitely prove that endogenic systems do or don't exist, but what has so far been seen, and is being worked on now, is whether there's any similarities between those experiences and DID.

I firmly contend that they're very different, and I'm more confident that the research will show that truth than I am in remembering my age.

I have said, over and over again on this blog, and I'm betting people are tried of reading it.

Childhood trauma affects the brain so much that the very structure is changed. It's these "injuries" that allow us to dissociate in such a profound way that we can have alters. These injuries go above and beyond that, though. It affects the way we perceive, retain, and relate to memories, the way we handle and express emotions, the way we experience new things. It literally affects every aspect of my life, daily. This is something that endogenics will never understand or relate to.

That's not a negative thing, it's the same as saying that I'll never understand what it's like to have schizophrenia or delusions or NPD or autism. I also wouldn't go into those spaces, or expect to be allowed into them, or be upset that I'm experiencing something potentially tangentially related (for example, DID typically shows symptoms of multiple PDs, but it isn't ACTUALLY a PD), and that there isn't a mixed space.

There's also a profound difference between PTSD and CPTSD. I believe endogenics can experience later trauma, and become disordered. But they don't have DID. They are not disordered with DID.

It's just PTSD, and because treatment is different, they'd benefit more from PTSD than CPTSD spaces-- which is really what DID spaces are, at the base of it.

For the most part, endos really are just "vibing," and that's okay. I've joined a server with endos, and I consider them my friends now. Their patience as I navigate through different thoughts and ideas has made all the difference, and it's helpful to have their input on things I come across that I don't understand.

My goal now, then, is to correct misinformation on DID and OSDD, and to simply spread awareness about how the disorders can present, what's possible and what's not (for example, can those with DID create alters? Technically, yes, and it doesn't make you a mixed origin endo). That it doesn't have to be doom and gloom, and we're not helpless.

As I feel that there isn't much overlap in experiences with those communities, I have little interest in interacting with endogenic systems outside of conversations about DID, and I've specifically made a point to stop challenging self expression.

I would honestly really prefer a stronger division of language to help people differentiate between experiences better, but I don't feel like that's ever going to happen. We can see the damage caused by the mixing of IFS and DID language, and I see it happening again. Talking about that is like talking to a brick wall, though, and I feel like this is just going to continue to repeat, over and over again.

I think it'll be up to those with DID to give up their language and create new words, which is... very sad in my opinion.

And the only thing I feel like doing these days is trying to combat misinformation about DID.

There's just so much of it, though, and I'm so tired.

[cerastes]

Hey, is Ebenholz good? I heard that he was kinda trash at first when he came out on JP but no real specifics. What's his niche?

I'll hit you with the cold water and tell you off rip that he is a relatively weak 6*, yeah. Not useless, really, weak in the Your Resources Would Be Better Spent Elsewhere(tm) way, not in the This Guy Sucks And Loses Often way, he still does his job and you can definitely build him.

His main niche is boss killing, with his S3 being the conductor of this particular symphony, but it requires some real precise timing and map knowledge so you don't waste stacks on trash mobs so you can actually see the fireworks go off. When executed properly, though, his damage is Pretty Damn Insane. Problem is, you can get damage on the same level without jumping through flaming hoops with plenty of other boss killers, so this is mostly a If It Appeals To You, Go Ahead kind of gameplay thing. Seeing a big number go off and a health bar deplete is very fun, after all.

For general use aside from that, it's a toss between S1 and S2, and here's the thing with Ebenholz: His kit is fun. Not meta, but it's fun. S1 is a short-lived, 5 second long funeral dirge wherein Eben forgets he's a Caster and pulls out a machine gun. He blasts the absolute hell out of whatever is in a line in front of him for a truly absurd number of attacks. Of course, it lasts 5 seconds, because he then remembers he's a Caster, but it's a very fun 5 seconds. Upkeep is manageable (19 charge Lv7, 15 charge M3), but I would use his more consistent S2 instead. Eben takes a look at what that weird W chick is doing, says "I can do you one better", and spends his accumulated stacks (+1 freebie) as landmines in his range, which explode and pull enemies towards them. S2 in particular gets pretty nutty returns out of Masteries (15% damage each mine per Mastery for a total of +45% profits at M3, wau!) so if you want to M6 the guy, S2 and S3 are my recs (S2 basically turns his Atomize This Guy stacks into more serviceable Half-Atomize These Guys stacks, with very good upkeep 14 charge at lv7 13 charge M3). The machine gun is fun, but remember that it turns his range into a line, ISN'T AoE, and ultimate overkills the crap out of a small number of foes or deals respectable damage to something with bulk, instead of killing a bigger number of foes (S2) or absolutely atomizing something if done right (S3). In other words, his S1 is the Middle Of The Road skill that tends not to fare well in Arknights (as opposed to the Master Of The Entire Road kind of skills that fare well in Arknights like Thorns S3 or Saria S3, or the Extremist Specialist skills that also fare well in Arknights, like Schwarz S3 or Radiant Knight S2).

I rate him He Really Wanted To Be Sniper Evidently out of ten, and give him an A for effort and style.

[unknown-writez]

Misfit Toys

Chapter Five: Creation of Minx- Part Six

Turning to Theo Jerome did a bow saying “thank you.” in between laughs then turned towards me grabbing my hand as he pulled me towards the door. Before we left Jerome put his arm around my shoulders holding me close while shouting “Get ready boys! We have a big show tonight!” to everyone else in the room leaving after. He led us back to our room and the second the door closed he swept me up off my feet by my waist and spun me around holding me close. “You were amazing!” he said, his voice proud and sweet as he put me down. “Does that mean I passed the test?” I asked smiling “With flying colors.” he replied and I felt blush creep onto my cheeks “greenwood the imbecile can’t count. I knew exactly where that bullet was. Besides I know a loaded gun. I could feel it. In the circus we played that game all the time.” he explained shrugging “I knew you did. I didn’t doubt you for a second.” I replied “Smart girl but you're not done yet. We still have the main event. The ultimate test. Think you can handle it?” he said, taunting “What is it?” I asked “You’ll see.” he replied with a devious smile “We’re gonna need a couple things first. The boys are picking out and grabbing everything and putting it in the car now. Lucky for us I already grabbed all the good stuff.'' He finished dropping to the ground in front of the bed and pulled out a big black case. He opened it up and  grabbed two ivory and gold revolvers admiring them with a small smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes for a bit before stashing them away in his pants. Afterwards he grabbed out a couple small knives and switchblades putting some in his pockets. His fingers glided over the metal blade for a second as he turned one in his hands before putting it away and turning his smile to me. “You’re gonna need these.” he said, passing me some grenade looking devices that had clips on them to attach to my belt. I hesitated for a second and Jerome gave a sigh and an irritated eye roll saying “Their not bomb bombs just fun ones like smoke. You’re not gonna blow up.” giving him a nod I grabbed them putting them on my belt “Good. You’re gonna have fun I promise.” he finished closing and sliding the case that was still quite full of stuff back under the bed. He stood up and put his arm around me again leading me out the door and down the hall to an elevator. Once in the golden mirror covered area he hit the button marked G the doors soon closing after. “You hesitated. I know you're new at this…” Jerome said, turning in front of me blocking the door. “So I’ll cut you some slack just this one time but…” he continued taking a step forward leaning his arm on the mirror behind me  pinning me between the wall. His body and face extremely close to mine. “Seriously, don't embarrass me in front of people. You looking weak makes me look weak and I can’t have that now can I.” he said bringing his free hand up. His fingers brushing my neck lingering there for a second before grabbing my jaw and stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I and most people around me tend to have short fuses and I wouldn’t want that pretty face of yours getting hurt.” he finished having looked me up and down hungrily. His eyes now poured into mine, his tone playful still but with a dangerous edge. I titled my head and scoffed with a smirk before shoving him off the wall and away from me sending a playful “Like that’s gonna happen.” His way. His warning stayed in the back of my mind but I wasn’t going to act intimidated by him. Jerome laughed for a couple seconds before the elevator door opened to a dark looking car garage full of nice looking cars. In it a big blacked out suv was parked in front of us.

[dappercritter]

No-Context Ideas for That Sonic AU I Will (Probably) Never Make:

(...because I can.)

-Post-post-apocalyptic setting

-Sonic the Ultimate Lifeform (Eco-Friendly Edition!)

-Billionaire, industrialist, philanthropist, social media pariah Eggman

-Tails says protect trans kids

-Helen Prower, coolest sister in the world

-Knuckles a wandering treasure hunter seeking a home and redemption

-Amy Rose: President's daughter, local volunteer, blossoming esper, and fighter in training. Kidnap at your own discretion.

-Metal Sonic has the most insane case of imposter syndrome you have ever seen.

-Genesis Archipelago

-You need a found family permit to move onto Angel Island

-Little Planet is not for sale.

-The Planet Freedom Foundation, for when normal environmentalists aren't enough!

-Team Dark, mercenaries with a good cause.

-Merging Soleanna and the Sol Dimension into one place that may or may not be a hidden land of magic.

-Princess Elise. ...I honestly don't know what to do with her, sorry.

-Silver the Hedgehog: The Ultimate Third Try!

-The GUN commander's been taking management lessons from Big Boss

-Agent Stone, double agent of GUN, enjoyer of lattes and moustaches

-THERE ARE NO BLACK ARMS. I AM NOT EVEN BEING OMINOUS. GET THAT (*lose rings sfx*) OUTTA HERE.

-Eggman Empire vs. GUN civil war

-Dark Sonic + Werehog + Darkspine Sonic + Emotional Burnout = The Perfect Edgy Hedgy

-Deadly Six as Pillar Cryptids. Yes you read that correctly. Yes it was a Jojo reference, carry on.

-Infinite is not weak. But you know what IS weak? OUR MINDS.

You see, every individual's perception of reality is an illusion. Reality itself is too hard to bear, so we follow our own delusions to cope. And when that fails, we strive follow their dreams and realize them through sheer determination. Sonic tells me you believe you can do anything with the power of friendship. That's a pretty illusion--Exquisite!

(*ahem*)

-Renaming the Sol Emeralds and Time Stones and overhauling their deities.

-Sure a flaming god burning the world is a bad future, but you know what else would suck? Nanite-based assimilation at the hands of the billionaire's evil robot clone son.

[Do not expect me to do anything with this I am just posting this to get it off my mind.]

[femmefaggot]

UMM com update incoming! idr how much of this I shared god bless + not a lot happened that isnt rly specific bc we had downtime

i was away from the group while they went to a food truck bc someone that worked there is missing

they got told the missing person (mia) was a bad cook but everyone loved her food anyway bc it made them feel good (rift confirmed there) and that she was contacted by an ex cop/current PI, luis navarro (sp?)

I ended up at rice assets, got told to make an appt and killed time for tink to explore by going in circles abt my schedule. then said I wanted to invest in the area (bc the person who is the Big Bad of this section was talking abt that) got laughed at and ultimately had to wait til work was done

(flash forward) texting Seth abt how I found who we r looking for and tink is scared of her + she makes me feel weird too (looking at her increased my clingy status effect by 1 number, or 2 pips)

got told I almost texted "I miss you" but erased it before (my choice) saying "please come here" (I very very rarely say please)

(flash forward, after food truck but before texting Seth)

rest of the group goes to where luis last was, run into his wife, find a gun w silver bullets + a silver knife. told abt "faerie ring park" as a lead

they found a drawing of [INSERT BAD RIFT HERE] and seth used prev gatekeeper knowledge re: what is weak to silver

they text info to calvin (as this is just meant to be reconnaissance) and he tells everyone to come back immediately

Seth argues in my favor, saying he's glad he didn't pledge anything to Calvin bc I Very Rarely directly ask for things/mention my feelinfs

i sic my shadow on eva rice (scary woman) and text Seth that I'll concede and go back to Calvin but will not be waiting long

DOWNTIME MOVES

the others r not my business. Seth goes to work and Calvin can tell it unsettles me, puts his hand on my shoulder and tells me he will be back soon. it is nothing but humiliating that everyone else can tell how weird I'm being

text Seth 2 meet me in neverland after he's done w work, in the meantime I try and get ppls shadows to tell me their secrets

Seth texts me that we need to talk about something (ooc I know what exactly he's referring to, IC it's a miscommunication)

i meet Seth at his island filled w giant sweets and such, start rambling like "I'm really sorry I've been acting so strangely that place is weird and you just. make me feel really really weird and I dont like it or understand it I oh sorry here's your jacket back"

Seth says that what he wanted to talk about was me "trying to stab" yan (didn't intend to stab him. he grabbed me and I flailed around w my knife til he let me go).

he said that I should apologize. "do you consider yan a friend? i think you do." (cue grimace) and I was like. i guess. if I have to.

Seth asks what I was talking about before "what?" (playing dumb) "what?" (knows I suck at being vulnerable) "I... forgot." (lying so bad) but he accepts it bc he is sweet and won't push

i make some colorful silver bullets + a silver laced chain

mc suggests me n Seth sleep in neverland

we all meet calvin next day give him info, roxie gives us various silver things he was able to make in one day, Roxie sees my bullets and pats me very hard on the back

i awkwardly apologize to yan, I'm more focused on the knife thing while to him the serious thing is that I put myself in danger. i tell him Ive never really had friends before and to me none of this seemed like a huge deal (the last part is not in those words. much less blatant re: not knowing what's normal. i did say that I've never had a friend that isn't tink tho)

I'm not sure he accepts my apology but he does give me a hug because he knows how hard it is for me.

we head 2 faerie ring park because eva rice is busy at work and we will not be able to confront her until later. the park is abandoned and "smells of decay" there was a man in a raincoat who disappeared? no. jumped into a hole. end session.

[admiral-ampersand]

Poorly thought out widow rework

the big talk about town is the debate on how one-shot hitscan weapons can feel out of place in the 1 tank meta of overwatch 2, and how widowmaker is kinda the only one left who can do it. However in order to bring her in line with other characters it probably makes the most sense to give her an overhaul similar to Symetra and Torb, changing up her kit while keeping the fundimental core gameplay (hopefully better than torb did) here’s my stab at it. Damage: cap her damage. i think soft capping so she does 200 on a headshot at 100% charge is the kinder of the two options but honestly dropping it to 180/150 doesn’t sound unreasonable for higher level play. that way she can’t melt tanks and their huge hitboxes, a thing snipers aren’t really supposed to be designed to do anyway. That’s a major nerf but i think you can make up for it and keep her identity in other ways. New Passives: Let widow see low health targets through walls, like sombra hacks, lets her focus on picking off low health and weak targets, a thing that i feel really fits with her core gameplay of a sneaky long ranged assassin. also works for team comp letting her call locations of key targets for her team. secondly? move her venom mine damage to her gun. this is probably the most devisive thing, but i think it’d be an interesting thing to experiment with. the higher damage she deals the longer the venom lasts, it’s a small dot that’s going to force the enemy team to deal with it, but gives her survivability up close by effectively buffing her machine gun.

Ultimate: i think this leaves the window open for buffing her ult, which is great in comp, but is honestly a really low impact ultimate. DPS ults especially are generally big gamechanging moves, so let widow literally wallhack and shoot through walls with it. give her 3 shots like bastion maybe? i dunno that’s what testing is for. 

I think ultimately the point i feel of it is that if you lower widow’s damage to be in line with say sojourn’s railgun (not being an outright kill on a full health target) you get a lot of play to buff literally the entire rest of her incredibly underwhelming kit (venom mine is a glorified map ping). 

[chocominnie]

Redemption  04 — JJK. (M)

→: This is book two to my story Desperado. Read that one before continuing on to read this one.

→ pairing: Mafia!Jungkook x reader

→ genre: Angst, smut , a bit of fluff

→ Word count: 4k

→ summary:  It’s been 4 years since everything that happened. If he could re-do everything he would, but cannot. With Won-Shik dead, and everyone’s back’s turned against him.. what can he do? You took a toll on him to the point where it’s hard to function without you and everyone’s concerned. Another gang has entered their teritory and is giving them a run for their money. The heir to the mafia thrown is now in charge with everyone waiting for his first big move. Yet, how can someone so broken inside take care of business though?

Warnings : This honestly isn’t for the light hearted and the weak. Drug dependency, drug mentions, high angst, mental illness, depression, anxiety, assault, gore, guns, usage of weapons, daddy kink, bigdick!jk, hair pulling, soft sex, rough sex, squirting, mouth fucking, overstimulation, consensual drunk/tipsy sex, protected & unprotected sex. I may be forgetting some so sorry in advance!

Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken.

As if the raging headache you woke up with wasn't enough, the lucid dreaming you had last night, due to the consumptions of so much alcohol, was just enough to send you over the edge once you’ve awaken. The sun blares through your window onto your face making your eyes strain and a single hand coming over to cover it. Slipping out a small groan of annoyance, you gradually pick yourself up to sit up correctly onto the bed. 

Last night was a lot for you to remember, but you sure as hell remember some of it. What you don’t remember is you asking Sungmin to stay the night with you. So to your surprise when you open your bedroom door, a shirtless Sungmin is up and moving around your kitchen. There he is with a single chest tattoo and muscles you never thought he would have. His biceps strong, and his abs are evident along with his v-line protruding out. You hadn't noticed his freshly tattoo’d left arm last night but in your defense he was wearing a long-sleeve shirt. You watch him whisk whatever is in that bowl with determination and the faint sound of a youtube video can be heard playing in the background.

The way his arms flex when he whisks, and his hair tied up messily into a small but decent sized bun with some stray strands of hair here and there, he looks way too good. That jawline of his flexes consistently, especially when he softly bites his lip and furrows his eyebrows. When he doesn’t understand something said from the youtube video, he reaches to play it back again. It’s as if he’s doing it on purpose because maybe, he knows you’re peeking from behind your door.

Nonsense. If he saw you he would have greeted you... right? You’re too caught up in your thoughts and dazed off to realize he has looked in your direction with amusement to see you peeking around like a lost puppy. It’s adorable. He doesn’t say anything though, Sungmin smirks to himself and continues to pour some sort of batter into a pan. 

He looks way too sexy doing that too.

Ultimately you decide to close the door because for whatever reason, blaming the liquor from last night, that familiar throbbing down in your region begins. You mentally curse yourself for getting all worked up over absolutely nothing but a man cooking. That man being Sungmin.. who’s cooking. Sungmin, the one you never wanted to persue things with because back then you felt guilty for liking two boys at once and he deserved someone better than you.

But that was back then.. and this is now.

Now, he’s in your home cooking you breakfast shirtless and he knows exactly what he’s doing because he did in fact see you. He saw you from the very beginning. Hell, he saw you last night when you were very much so drunk and started stripping and giggling in-front of him. Of course he didn't let you get far because when you started pulling off your pajama shirt is when he pulled it back down and dragged you to your room. You laid there sprawled on your bed giggling yourself to sleep. Needless to say, Sungmin did sleep on the couch to prevent another encounter from happening between you two. 

You can’t blame yourself though, Sungmin has turned into a fine man. As a woman yourself, it can’t be helped to have these lewd thoughts after witnessing a god himself in your kitchen preparing for you.. right? You hadn’t noticed you did not close the door fully, so when you bring your hand down to the hem of. your pajama pants and underwear, that breathy shadow peeps down at you. 

You hadn’t heard him come inside because you're too busy trying to inspect the wet mess you’d made inside your panties. That is, until that familiar voice speaks up once more, making you jolt.

“ Breakfast is ready.” He cheekily says, chuckling when he turns around to make his way out of the room.  The cold wall meets your head and you bang it several times softly out of embarrassment. Him catching you in the act was the least thing you need right now.

Tip-toeing out of your bedroom, you peak around the corner to your dining room table to see everything laid out perfectly. Cloud pancakes, fruit assortment, orange juice. He'd made your plate for you, the fruit sits onto of your pancake with a smiley face and whipped cream smile. It makes you giggle at the thought of Sungmin, a grown man, still having his childish ways.

“ Care to join me before it gets cold?”

Biting your lip, you can’t help but to still be flustered from getting caught. “ I can eat at the island counter..” You say, to avoid any further awkwardness between the two of you. 

Sungmin smiles, “ I missed that. You’re still adorable when shy. Listen I’ll forget about what I saw if I can have the honors of catching up with you, properly.”

Sounds like a deal to you. 

“ So you went back to...” Sungmin pauses before sticking some fruit in his mouth, waiting for you to finish. “ Canada. Then to NYU where I’m currently studying and doing the exchange program here.” 

He nods in amusement, eyes still watching you like a hawk to make sure you eat. “ Well, we completed highschool. I had transferred schools in high school to finish up while the rest of them stayed. College came along and nobody was close anymore, to be honest. Crystal does this candle light thing for you each year and that's when everyone comes together as a whole, except for Jungkook.”

You nearly choke on your pancake amongst swallowing it. Jungkook not coming to your candle-light? That one hurt. “ W-why doesn’t he come?”

Sungmin shakes his head lightly, grabbing the orange juice pitcher and pouring the sweet, citrus fruit juice into your glass cup. “ We beg him and he doesn’t want to each year. He’s... really fucked up about you. Heavier on the drugs and just stays in his office all day.”

“ And the kid?” You have to keep mentally remind yourself that she’s actually Jungkook’s sister and not daughter. You’d never imagine Jungkook being an older brother, hell even just a brother to begin with. 

“ Jeon Naeun , or Nari is what we call her. She’s 4 years old and gives him a run for our money, especially his. “ Sungmin chuckles, finishing up the last of his pancake. You take a sip of the juice and can’t help but to smile at that comment.

“ The two are inseparable. She’s the mini version of him but instead of being cold hearted she has now mastered the toddler manipulation by using her cuteness.”

Imagining Jungkook being a care-giver for his little sister only leads you to think of what kind of father he would be. Again, you’d never expect for him to even want a child but the thought of a big boss mafia man having a weakness for children is amusing to you. 

Yet Sungmin sits right infront of you and he can’t get enough of you. The way you smile, the way you talk, the sound of your voice, it’s all so nostalgic for him. Meeting you in high school was the highlight of his life back then. Now to have you, not dead, and cooking breakfast for you in your own apartment has him thinking things. Things about how he doesn’t want to lose you ever again, but he also understands this can be a lot for you and not to rush things and push your boundaries.

Sungmin breaks the small silence, “ Can I.. Can I take you out today? You left for a while and I think that you should at least get familiar with Seoul again. Theres this new art museu-”

An abrupt sound of hard knocking at the door cuts him off. It makes the two of you jump but you weren’t expecting any guests today at all. The only person who knows your apartment is Sejun and Zico.. and you hope and pray its not either of them and just a random package delivery. By the look on your face, Sungmin gets the memo that you didn’t know who was at the door. Getting up from his chair, he furrows his eyebrows walking over as the knocking gets persistent. 

Your heart feels like it can pound right out of your chest right now. Quickly, you grab the empty plates and used dishes and dash over into the kitchen where you can’t be seen. What if it’s Jungkook? What if he’s actually found you? Your hands tremble while scrubbing the dishes in the sink, the thoughts of the worst case scenario swarms through your head to the point where you tune out everyone. 

You don’t even hear the arguing at the door and the multiple footsteps shuffling inside until someone comes within your view, waving their hand in your face to snap you out of your numbing trance. The calling of your name seems to slowly bring you back to reality. 

“ Yn! Yn!”

Once your vision clears back up to the person calling your name, your eyes go wide in fear like a dear in headlights. It can’t be. How.. did he know to come here? The apartment is listed under Sejun’s name due to this exact reason of hiding your identity. There’s no way he could of asked around for you in the lobby because you speak to nobody there and they certainly don’t know your name. So how?

 The cup in your hand shatters onto the floor creating a glass breaking sound capturing everyone’s attention. Taking a look around your apartment, there’s Sungmin, another female, and that other male person with a concerned look on his face. Your throat gets that familiar sore lump in it, the one where you know you’ll cry any second but you can’t. Not in-front of them. 

You quickly crouch down onto the floor and begin picking up the glass pieces with your bare hands, sniffling to stop the stray tears from falling. “ Be careful, let me get it-”

“ No!” You push the hand away from you but in the process knick your finger against a stray shard of glass sticking up on the floor. You wince, harshly pulling your finger away and inspecting it. The blood seeps out rather quick but not life threatening. 

Sungming scoffs, “ I think you guys should leave.” He says, jogging over the kitchen sink, carefully avoiding the glass, to grab a wet paper towel to wrap your finger in.

You wanted nothing to do with anyone in this very exact moment. You just want to be alone again, and maybe meeting Sungmin last night and having him stay was a mistake. Foolish of you right? To not think about the consequences of your actions. He’s Jungkook’s brother for fucks sake. What did you think would happen?

“ We can’t. Jungkook knows.” is the next sentence that Casper says that makes you want to throw up. Jungkook knows about your whereabouts. If it wasn’t for Sungmin holding you while wrapping your finger and pressing on it, you’d of surely passed out by now. 

Sungmin’s beyond pissed. The red on his face shows it and the way he curses under his breath only for you to hear. “ Tell him to stay the fuck away from her, Casper.” He growls. 

He lets out a frustrated sigh and the woman next to him rubs his back to calm him down as well. You take notice of the dark red lipstick she wears upon her lips. Such a bold color. “ Knowing Jungkook, he won't stop. What she needs to do is pack up and go.. like yesterday.”

“ I’m sorry but who the fuck are you?” You narrow your eyes at the lady, getting up from Sungmin’s grip on you. She’s taken aback by your sudden dominance in your voice, but smirks knowing that you aren’t bold enough to take that any further. 

“ Val.. Casper’s wife and you must be the infamous Yn.” 

You’re not sure of this lady, and something about her makes you wonder. Since when has Casper been married? Casper also did not seem like the type to take a hand in marriage for someone. This is all too.. weird for you. Everyone seems to just had grown up and matured and you did miss it all. 

“ Can we discuss all this.. perhaps in the living room area?” She asks, pointing in the direction of your cutely decorated space. Uneasy but curious, you nod your  head slowly in approval. 

Once everyone has gathered on your grey “L” shaped couch, you made sure to sit closely next to Sungmin who puts his arm around you in support. Ironically he's the only one you trust and feel a bit more comfortable with. The last thing you wanted was a reunion.. let alone in your very own living room. 

“ So.. Yn.. you were supposed to stay as far away as humanly possible from Seoul. I thought we made a deal that you’d never come back as long as I provided for you financially for the remainder of your life.” Casper’s death gaze upon you would have killed you right now if looks could kill. 

“ She has every right to live the life she wants after what you and my brother did to her.” Sungmin fires back at him, the look of anger on his face only getting stronger. 

Throwing his head back and letting out a deep sigh, Casper is not surprised by his comment. “ Oh shut up Sungmin, you know it would’ve been best for her if she stayed put.” He shoots you another glare, “  Looks like the dead doesn’t rest after all huh.”

You had no words because it is true. You and your parents had made that deal with Casper, but that was four years ago and you're absolutely grown enough to make your own decisions without your parents input. 

“ I.. wanted to do the exchange program and I honestly don’t even look the same anymore. I had a few surgeries and thought if I stayed low-key.. I could graduate and go on with my life.” Which only part of that is true. Yes you had a few surgeries that made you look slightly different and not to mention the hair color change, but you can’t let them know the real reason you came back.

That’s going to ruin your plans. 

“ Yeah and how is that working out for you now hmm?” Casper’s not pleased with your dumb response. A deal is a deal and you broke the deal. “ I don’t need your money Casper. If you want it all back I’ll repay my debt but I am allowed to live my life freely!”

Casper lets out one of his sarcastic chuckles, “ Repay your debt? You were never indebted to me or any of the Jeons. I wanted you to live comfortable as possible. Keep the money. Go back to Canada.”

“ No.” It would be a waste of everything if you’d just up and left now. Besides, this is the first time you’ve been in the presence of someone you like. Back home in Canada you did make friends but only till you moved to NYC and you didn’t make much long-term ones there either.

“ Doll, you don’t understand how much Jungkook is really attached to you. He has multiple paintings of you, has kept your pictures, currently working on a sculpture of your face, and still has nightmares about you. He needs professional help and you being here isn’t really the best time to enter his life again, if that’s what you plan to do.”

Sculptures? Paintings? That’s a bit much.  You understand the kept pictures part but the rest does seem very drastic. You’ve never had someone that overly obsessed with you before. Your last boyfriend from Canada, before you had originally moved to Seoul, had only gotten professional portraits of you and him. Courtesy of his mother, it was only because you two had went to junior prom together. You two were just teenagers being teenagers. As for you and Jungkook, you two were just lost in lust and not knowing what you two were doing but just...doing it. 

You're an adult now, and independent one at that. So whatever you want to do, you can do it.

“ I’m staying here.” Your voice is firm enough to where they know that's your final decision. Sungmin squeezes your arm a bit, reassuring you and sticking right beside you. 

Casper lets out a deep sigh once again. He knew you were stubborn but thought you would have been past this phase. Its no use of arguing with you. Your consequences have actions and he did try to warn you. It’s above him now and since you want to make wrong decisions, this time he’ll let you. You reap what you sow. 

His tattoo’d hand rub’s his forehead in annoyance of your persistant answers. He’s tried his best and can’t do anymore. “ Fine. Just know, I tried to warn you.”

The silence and tension in the room could be cut like thick slice of cake. You’re content with your decision and can’t seem to understand why they think you can’t handle yourself by yourself. Casper stands up along with Val, the two look at you disappointed but sorry for you. Maybe they are right on this, maybe you didn't think it through.

“ Well, are you at least going to attend the reunion? The group... should know you’re alive if you want to continue living freely.” Casper holds his two fingers making quotation marks around the last two words. You roll your eyes at his remark.

“ Reunion?” You turn to Sungmin who’s currently escorting Casper and Val out the door. You didn’t expect for him to shoo them out so quickly but he says his goodbyes and the door finally closes. That beep sound gives you a wave of relief over your body knowing your home is now secured and locked. The anxiety that had once settled in you can be felt going away.

Leaning against the door, “ I wasn't going to go. I don’t really talk to anyone but my sister. I wanted to take you out because I wasn’t going to attend. The group was personally invited to attend, we got our invitations 3 weeks ago.”

“ Your parents still own that school?” From what you remember, Sungmin’s parents were the one that chose you and gave you the scholarship to attend that high school. 

He nods his head and deeply sighs once more, “ Unfortunately, yes. I dislike saying this but they covered up your death and Jungkook’s ass pretty well. To them and our class, Jungkook was also the victim as disgusting as it is. My parents couldn’t afford to lose their perfectly clean reputation, as you know they are also in the limelight as well.”

Of course. Jungkook being painted as the victim when you’re the actual victim yourself. It’s predictable at this point and he probably ran with that narrative until after he’d graduated and everyone moved on. 

“ Listen.. you don’t have to go. I really wasn-” “ I’ll go. It’s better they know im alive. I can’t keep faking my identity and pretending to be dead while im here. I just.. want nothing to do with Jungkook.” 

A lie. This is the perfect opportunity to lure Jungkook in. 

It catches Sungmin off guard when you say that. The least he expected is for you to agree to go near the people who betrayed you.  He thinks It can potentially be mentally unhealthy for you but also facing your fears could do you a bit better. It’s a 50/50 chance but not exactly a win-win situation.

Sungmin tilts his head to the side resembling a confused small puppy which makes you smile a bit. “ Are you sure?” He questions, still in disbelief.

No. No you aren’t. 

“ Yes.”

The day had gone by pretty fast hanging around Sungmin. He went back home to change his clothes after your guises conversation and came back fashionably late to pick you up after cleaning yourself up as well. The two of you had a pretty big reasonable amount of fun and catching up. It turns out Sungmin had learned English abroad for a bit as he also did an exchange program in the US his junior year. He revealed to you that he lives in the Jeon Mansion with his mom and Jungkook. You were worried about that as well but, Sungmin reassured you that he wouldn’t tell a soul where you live and will act like you two only meet up at cafes. You made him swear on it and if he breaks that promise he’ll be blocked on snapchat.

Now here you two are, standing outside of the school at 6pm after a day of driving around and Sungmin showing you some worthy instagram picture cafes and shopping places. You had bought a few things, nothing too over the top. Some new shoes, a couple of clothing items, and a brand new watch because you had been meaning to get a new one since your old one broke.

“ You sure you wanna do this?”

The school looks the same to you. It floods back memories when you two begin walking into the entrance. That same entrance where the Bangtan Boys came in and Jungkook stopped you because you were in his way of walking. The first time you had laid eyes on each other and then realized you both hated each other.  It still smells the same, clean but sweet. The school is vacant except for a few adult people here and there who seem to pay you no mind at all.

With each step you take down the hallway, you’re reminded of the memories you made. The lockers where you’d meet up with Ayami and Sungmin, the bathroom you came out of and Jungkook waited outside for you, and upcoming is the art class. The sound of voices and laughing can be heard the closer you get. Perhaps some left-over students from school today? Sungmin movements become a bit slower, as if he doesn’t want to pass the classroom. 

“ We can go back and visit the music room? If you want.”

Now you’re curious as to why he won't pass the room. Surely it’s just some teens right? You shake your head no with furrowed eyebrows, butterflies settling inside your stomach.  Swallowing hard, you take one last step towards the entrance of the art room and your stomach almost drops at the sight you see. 

The room is beautiful, it really did have a make-over, but the people inside shock you the most. You didn’t expect them to be here right now. You expected them to be coming later on, not lounging around the art room. Most of all, you weren’t ready to see him in general. He stands there by the window, hair longer than you remembered, ripped jeans, doc Martens, a black shirt and leather jacket. When he sets eyes on you, he doesn’t freak out but he just looks at you with sorrow in his eyes. He understands that this moment is could break or make anything so he keeps his mouth closed while admiring that you’re really in-front of him. The rest stare at you with shock, as if they’ve really seen a ghost.

Crystal is the first to curse under her breath with wide eyes and a smile. She runs over to you with open arms and when you do connect with them physically, it feels weird to hug her back but she understands this is a lot to process. 

“ I knew it was you. I knew it was you when I saw you in Manhattan! Holy fuck you’re actually alive!” Her grip only gets harder, as if she could squeeze you to death like an orange till you burst. You watch Sungmin prop himself up on the desk and sit quietly. He feels awkward in all this, and now you feel bad.

“ So you faked your death. How does it feel to be selfish?” 

You knew that one was coming from him. Turning towards the voice, you decide not to fuel the fire this time. “ I’m sorry. I also did not have a choice given the circumstances..” 

The room falls silent. Jungkook, Namjoon, Crystal, Yoongi, Sungmin, and Ayami. They’re all here. All staring at you as you stare at the ground out of pity. Maybe this whole faking death thing was a bit far. Casper could have came up with a better idea than this. Your past was soon to catch up to you. 

“ I forgive you.” Crystal breaks the silence, smiling at you to make you feel somewhat better. “ So do I. I’m sorry for contributing into that situation as well. No words can express how deeply affected I am from it and I do hold myself accountable.” 

You’d like to accept his apology, you really do, but at this moment you cannot as the wounds still hurt. The traitor, Ayami sits in the corner of the room at a desk. Her arms crossed as she looks outside the window, barely paying you any mind. Although you dislike her presence as she did betray you, It hurts a lot to know she honestly doesn’t care about you. 

“ I’m not sorry. You don't know the damage that you’ve done to Jungkook do you?” Yoongi’s voice is stern yet pissed off. With every inch he gets closer to you, it makes you want to ball up and run away.

Until you two are inches apart from each-other and he lets it all out on you.

“ We had to deal with him for years of depression, anxiety, he doesn’t sleep, barely fucking eats, and our business is possibly ruined all because of you. We don’t have a fucking sane enough leader because you wanted to be selfish. We all thought you were dead. Fucking DEAD. You don’t just do shit like that! You could of just left Seoul quietly but to be that fucking dramatic? Come on. Everyone was affected by your drama scene and now you think you can magically just show up like things are okay? It's not.”

It can’t be helped that the tears are flowing from your eyes and the quiet sobs let themself out. You feel just as guilty as they are and it sucks because you’re the victim and they aren't.  Coming to this was wrong. Now at least they know you’re alive.

“ I.. should go. I just wanted to apologize for my actions.”

“ Wait, you don’t have to go yn.”

But it was too late. You quickly walk out the room as fast as you can while wiping the hot tears coming down your face. People in the hallway look at you funny but you keep your head down. That familiar feeling in your chest settles in. It hurts. It feels like your heart has broken into a million pieces. None of this was how you expected it to go however you weren’t even supposed to come anyways. 

By now your feet are tired of walking and each time you blink its blurry. This place looks familiar. The flowers align the trail along with some trees. The school’s little garden trail. Mascara runs down your face. It hurts. It hurts a lot. Being in front of everyone like that was a bold move and to have Yoongi yell at you was embarrassing as well. The pain in your chest feels like someone is stabbing you over and over in your heart. Your heartstrings feel like they can give out any second. At this point you didn’t care who sees you sobbing loudly. All you want is to take everything back about what you said and should have just agreed to stay home.

“ Yn?”

You ignore it. The sobbing becomes louder and your keep trying to wipe your swollen eyes to rid the tears. It doesn’t stop.

The person sighs, slowly inching closer. You know that scent all too well. It’s him. What is he even doing here anyways? Why did he think it was okay to follow you out here? Something touches your hand but you turn around to face him and jerk your hand away. He was offering you his handkerchief. You look at him with hatred in your eyes. This all feels too familiar.

Jungkook sighs, nodding his head slowly while retreating his hand. “ I’m sorry. I want to apologize to you in a million different ways but I understand that we’re broken. I broke you. I did those things to you. I take responsibility. No words can explain how badly I fucked up. If I can go back and change everything I would in a heartbeat and do everything correctly.”

You take a minute to analyze his face. You’ve never seen his soft side of Jungkook. The way his face tells it all, lets you know he is sincere. To know he’s also been suffering makes you feel even more guilty. You won't accept it though. He will never get an acceptance of any sort from you. 

“ I hate you.” You sniffle. 

“ I understand.”

“ No Jungkook, I really fucking hate you.”

Was all you said before grabbing his jacket to pull him down into a passionate kiss. The two of your tongues fight for dominance as his left hand goes to your waist and his right up to your face. He can’t help himself but to deepen the kiss. Your lips taste like pure honey to him and he wants to devour you right then and there and never let you go.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.. 

[x-xsunlightx-x]

【Ｆｒｅｎｅｍｉｅｓ】

" The ultimate move to beat gun ? "

You really thought Sinu lost his mind when he asked you that question all of a sudden but part of you really wanted to know the answer too , So for the past weeks you been Trying to find the perfect plan and using the information Lua collected for you about him to figure out his weak points , You really thought you will reach an answer but..

What the fuck is this

" Actually, there is no such thing!"

You didn't Waste your blood sweat and tears just so your boss can disappoint you like that . When you found gun , Jake and sinu standing there you really thought Sinu thought of Something and actually gonna beat This guy . But no of course, it's Sinu we are talking about after all

And Without Knowing it , you were already Next to Sinu

" Sinu . Fucking. Han "

" please don't hurt me "

" What do you think you are doing "

" I can Expla-"

" And who are you ? "

Now Everyone eyes were on you , waiting for you to Answer gun , When you finally looked at his face You understood Why people call him a monster Seriously how does no one question his abnormal eyes

" It doesn't matter who I am , What matters here is that you don't take our Kind Boss words seriously , There is always a plan to bring assholes like you down , Sure Mabey We Don't have that plan right now but we will have it eventually "

Well that's a fast way to die

But for some reason Gun actually smiled a little ?

" Well -"

He was about to say something when your phone Sound took you back to the present

" I always end up thinking about that day , Mabey its because I still haven't actually thought of a plan to bring down that guy "

Well, its not like you have the time for that , Your main focus for now is to gain Eugene trust while you are still with workers so you can finally free Sinu And also try to not kill Samuel . Both of you may be backstabbers for ditching big deal but you still in good terms with them but Samuel on the other hand

You always knew he was bad news the moment Sinu introduced him to you but you chose to ignore that. He is really pathetic for hating Jake for such a stupid reason but oh well . It took you a long time to notice you have two missed calls from Samuel himself . Just great

" Hey , sorry my phone was on sil-"

" Didn't you see Eugene texts ? Come down fast we have work to do "

Hmm , if there is a way to bring down gun then there is definitely a way to bring down this asshole too

You went down and entered Samuel car . Which one of your least favourite things to do because the rides inside that car feel like ages , The silence is so awkward sometimes that you just want to jump out of the window. You really tried to get close to Samuel but for some reason it is very hard .

Its just something about the Look he gives you when you talk , eat , fight or do anything honestly. It Was kind of a clear from day one that he doesn't think of you as a friend , a partner or even a coworker

Just an enemy.

[lyrabythelake]

Just popped into my head: Wind is the last one standing after a hard fight and has to care for all of the others

Thanks for this awesome request, Karalora!! This is basically just Wind and Warriors trying to out-mother each other lol

CW: Blood, injury

“Sit down, Wars! Goddesses, how many times do I have to tell you?”

Wind watches in his peripheries as Warriors flops back against the log behind him with a pout. The fact he protests no further is testament to how much grief his mangled leg is giving him, and Wind makes a mental note to get to him next after he finishes tending to Sky.

He winds the bandage one last time around Sky’s torso and pins it in place, testing the give to check that it’s neither too tight nor too loose. Sky lets out a hiss at the motion and Wind winces in sympathy. He knows first-hand how much broken ribs hurt, even after half a red potion.

“Remember to take deep breaths every once in a while,” he tells him. “You’ll end up with pneumonia or something if you don’t.”

Sky nods and manages a weak smile.

“Thanks, Buddy,” he wheezes.

“No problem.”

“Are the others—” He coughs painfully. “Are the others going to be okay?”

Wind sets a firm gaze over the rest of the group sprawled about the makeshift camp, still covered in ‘Blin blood as well as their own. Time and Wild are out cold, laid out on bedrolls, blankets up to their chins, though ultimately alive and relatively fine after taking serious blows to the head.

Twilight sits curled around his left arm, face ashen in what Wind can only assume is pure agony as blood seeps through the tourniquet he tied after Twilight adamantly refused to accept a red potion until everyone else had been healed. Selfless bastard.

Legend and Hyrule are mostly uninjured but are both suffering from extreme exhaustion after bringing out the magical big guns, so to speak. They’re asleep curled up against each other in a way Legend would probably appreciate no one ever speaking about again. It’s an image Wind files away for a time less pressing.

Four, he’s happy to see, is applying cream to the burns on his torso just as instructed, his face pale and drawn.

Wind, well—Wind is dead on his feet. There’s nothing like the looming possibility of your closest friends’ deaths to take it out of you, that’s for sure. That threat seems mostly to have blown over now though, and he allows himself to relax slightly, release some of the tension he’s been carrying with him since the fight started. They’re all breathing, their hearts are still beating. They’ll be fine.

“Yeah,” he says, turning back to Sky and giving him a small smile. “Yeah, everyone’s going to be okay.”

“All thanks to you,” Sky tells him softly. “I don’t think anyone’s going to be underestimating you ever again after this.”

His mind flashes back to the battlefield. Standing breathless, sword held high as the last enemy falls. The abrupt silence that followed was like being plunged under the waves of a churning sea, and his eyes were wide as he picked out the scattered colours of his friend’s tunics among the pool of enemy bodies.

He had never felt so horrified to be the last one standing.

“You better not,” he says, his tone light-hearted yet decidedly meaningful. Sky chuckles weakly as he leaves to crouch by Warriors’ side instead.

The Captain’s leg is a mess of torn material and skin, blood soaking his trouser leg from his ankle to just above his knee. None of the wounds looks particularly deep, just extensive, and probably horribly in danger of infection considering they were wrought by a particularly aggressive Wolfos. He feels the Captain’s eyes on him as he unsheathes his smallest knife from his belt and begins to carefully cut away the material around the wounds.

“You shouldn’t be looking after us alone,” Warriors tells him stonily, and if he didn’t know him better, it would be as if there was no emotion behind the words at all. Just haughty condescension.

“Well, there’s no one else to help, so I don’t have much choice.”

“I could have.”

“No,” Wind snaps. “You couldn’t have. You shouldn’t be walking on this leg for at least a day even after you take a potion.”

Warriors tuts and shakes his head. “There are too many of us for you to be looking after by yourself.”

And that hurts. Wind knows it shouldn’t mean anything because Warriors would say that to any one of them in the same position—probably even Time if it came down to it. But he’s so sick of being treated like a child, so sick of everyone treating him like he’s not as capable just because he’s younger. What does he have to do to prove to them he’s worthy of their trust?

“I can do it,” he growls through clenched teeth, pressing a little too hard in the process of cleaning out a bite mark and making Warriors’ leg jump from the pain.

“Wait, Wind, that’s not—” Warriors begins, only to have Wind ignore him resolutely. “Sailor, look at me.”

Wind does, because Warriors has this way of speaking that makes you want to listen. It’s probably what makes him such a good captain, but it’s mighty frustrating when Wind is trying to give him the silent treatment.

“I know you can do it,” Warriors tells him seriously, “Goddesses, I saw how you saved us all in the final moments of the battle, you were like a damned hurricane, you impressed us all. I just mean you shouldn’t have to. We should’ve been better; we should have fought harder and I should’ve come up with a better plan—” He hisses as he shifts his leg thoughtlessly. “It was a total wipe-out and you’re the one left having to deal with the aftermath. It’s not fair to you.”

Wind scoffs and concentrates once more on cleaning his leg, though something warm makes itself known in his chest.

“We all did the best we could,” he dismisses, but the tone of their silence lightens considerably in the moments following. Wind isn’t fond of his own need for validation–he considers it one of his greater weaknesses–but he feels content, if only for now.

“Stop moving,” Wind tells Warriors after he flinches away from his touch for the umpteenth time. “You’ll only make it worse for yourself.”

Warriors grins in his peripheries.

“You’re turning into a real mother hen, you know that?”

“Learned from the best,” he replies, feeling a little of his old energy coming back despite his tiredness. “Besides, that is your fault. None of you know how to take care of yourself. Here.” He finishes disinfecting and offers Warriors one of the last remaining healing potions which he takes gratefully.

“Thanks, Sailor. Promise you’ll get some rest after this?”

“I have to check on Legend and Hyrule first. And give Twi a potion, he looks like he’s about to throw up.”

“After all that, then. I’ll keep watch—I won’t use my leg,” he amends quickly at Wind’s warning glare, “but I’ll wake you if anything comes our way.”

“I don’t know…” he glances at Warriors’ leg with trepidation. He should be the one resting, really.

“Let me do this for you, Wind? Please?”

Wind hesitates only a moment before nodding.

Checking on Legend and Hyrule is not a huge task; they really do seem fine despite their obvious exhaustion, and Twilight finally accepts a potion with a pained grunt and a quiet “thank you.” Then, finally, the last of the rushing adrenaline silences in his ears and it takes all that he has to keep himself from collapsing where he stands. Instead, he stumbles back over to Warriors.

“Come here, Sailor,” Warriors says, his smile faintly amused. Wind huddles under his offered arm and practically melts into his side, his eyelids already drooping.

“Promise you’ll wake me if any monsters come?” he mutters, soothed by the rise and fall of his friend’s chest against his cheek.

“I promise. I’ve got your back; now go to sleep.”

And so, he does.

[beann-e]

“ honestly Suna sometimes it feels like your just sitting there — calculating — thinking of ways that you can piss me off” you let out in a huff of anger as you slammed your hand onto the arm rest placed in the middle of the car. Voice loud enough to be heard from a mile away and then some “ And then you don’t even fucking care “

“ I’m sorry you feel that way “

“ seriously ? seriously Suna “

“ oh I’m sorry would you like me to say it jokingly? “

The silence that towered over the both of you was tall and it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon “ WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY “ his hand came up to run down his face as he sighed

“ look I'm sorry baby but — “

“ but nothing — I'm tired Rin—I'm tired of you screwing with me“ you groaned “ honestly at this point just fuck off “

he moved to pull the keys from the car unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the car door as your jaw hung open “ what the fuck Suna — “

“ I'm fucking off you ungrateful bit—“

“ you asshole — all of a sudden you take everything literal right ?? huh only when you want to right “

“ y’know what— no you fuck off —ok y/n “

“ see that’s what I'm talking about “

“ honestly I doubt you even know what you were talking about in the first place “

your steps quickened as you followed after the male who stopped at your front door imputing the code and opening your house door “ This is what I mean by you keep fucking with me Suna “

“ oh “ he moved to sit down on the couch arms flung behind it and legs spread wide out in front of him. “ is it really— because , the 40 minute argument in the car about your best friend hitting on me didn’t quite make that clear “ he scoffed shaking his head along with it “ your shitty reasoning must of gotten lost on one of the many streets of Japan y/n “

His eyes glowing body perking up with his next sentence “ yknow what how about you go find it hmm then we can have this little talk sometime later -- preferably when I'm sleeping id hate to be awake for another one of your hellish complaints babe.”

your anger was only growing as the argument continued “ you fucking douchebag I bet you don’t even know why I'm pissed off “

He let out a small sigh of a laugh his legs shaking and hitting each other in a wave before they resumed their earlier position “ I don’t“

“ and you don’t care either do you “

“ I don’t “

Your heart broke for the first time ever in your relationship with the stoic male after hearing his words and tone. In all the time you and your boyfriend had been together you two never argued about his lack of emotion or care.

It never bothered you

It never affected you

until it did

4 hours ago

You smiled up at the taller male as his mouth continued to run while talking to the rest of his volleyball team. This was the first time you’d ever seen him talk for more than 5 minutes with anything other then yeah’s and small mhmms.

The both of you had been invited to a class reunion and you only decided to go because of his new teams constant nagging

Suna had been telling you all week to find something else to do and that you didn’t have to go with him. That it would be too boring and long and that you would be better off having fun without him.

Of course you put up a fight but, ultimately lost and decided to hang out by yourself for the earlier half of the day spending last weeks paycheck on this weeks shopping spree

it felt nice to treat yourself but you couldn’t help but want to treat your boyfriend too. The thought of him being bored alone plagued your mind and you had to get it out.

The only way to do that was to go to the reunion.

Now how you imagined it would go is you show up in your fancy new dress surprising him smile a bit , talk up some of the host and sneak your way in and then mingle and go home and cuddle and kiss your boyfriend all night

funny thing is somewhere in that prewritten script you had created you didn’t realize imagination is not always reality.

The sight of your boyfriend leaning against a wall with a glass in his hand and his other on the string of your best friends dress had you reeling in the disgust that you wanted to spill so badly on the floor right now

All you’d done was go to the restroom but now you sat with your eyes widening while you watched his eyebrows come together in annoyance with the string that wouldn’t come undone.

Your best friend faced away from him back to his chest and a small smile on her face. Cheeks heated from his touch and in that moment you cursed her for having a look on her face that made it visible how much she enjoyed his warmth. You wished she didn’t make it so obvious how the closeness to your boyfriend was making her feel

how it was encouraging her

Your heart broke when you seen Suna finally relax and blow air out of his cheeks before nodding softly almost thanking the gods that he figured it out and it was over

Your feet moving before you could even process what to say to either of them.

“ y-y/—“

your hand came in contact with your best friends face before she could even finish the loud slap echoing through the room as everyone turned to find the source of the noise

Eyebrows raising when they noticed it was not only a slap but a full on one sided battle between you and the girl who everyone seen as nice and quiet during your school years

They never knew of the undercover bitch that was lurking behind the surface. They’d never see the way she was smirking as she took every hit given to her in stride. Your boyfriends hands wrapping around your torso as he looked down and seen that you were hovering over her ripping her to bits

You never letting go of the grip your thighs held around her own as she whispered to where only you could hear “ aw poor y/n’s defending someone that doesn’t even want em—gonna go to jail for someone so unloyal huh “

Your eyes lit up with pure hatred as the security made their way over to you reaching to take you from Sunas hold and lessening your grip on the woman beneath you

“ sir we need you to let her go “

“ don’t touch me until you actually make it all the way to police academy you fucking lowlife. “ you spit out “ how the hell do you only make it to security much less high school reunion security “

“ the hell do you know — you don’t even know how hard police academy is asshole “

“ ah I bet your kids’ll be real proud “ your eyes squinted at his name tag “ todd — you kiss your wife with that mouth “

you laughed eyes rolling from him to suna “ or are you like this asshole and kiss your mistress with it instead ? huh toodles ? “

“ ha — ‘m gonna have fun with you--ya little prick. sir — let ‘em go or else i’ll pull out the big guns — they snuck in here and now their disrespecting an officer “

“ big guns “ your laugh circulated through the room “ ‘k sure let me stop before I get pepper sprayed “

“ my hands already on the trigger you lil bitc— “

“ hey “ sunas voice growled behind you “ watch who the fuck your talking to toodles“

“ just— get—get the fuck off dude I didn’t go to police academy so I could avoid this — their full on disrespecting me come on man get off“ your face scrunched up in annoyance as you saw the security look like they were about to cry

“ well I mean — “ he sighed “ it’s not like your a real officer right“ suna sighed out as he began to bite his lip in worry “ I mean we can let this slide right ? “ he nodded looking towards the males name badge “ uh toodles“

He coughed “ todd — I mean todd “

“ I’m sorry but, even if I could “ his gaze dead set on you “ which I really don’t want to — seeing as though they disrespected me “

His voice sounding proud as he continued “ and I'll have you know I'm security guard of the mouth asshole “

“ oh whoop dee fucking do Tinkerbelle ”

“ y-fucking-/n “ you could feel the way Suna was seething above you breath hot and you could tell his face was made up in a snarl “ if you don't shut the fuck up I swear on Atsumu’s unwashed boxers ill leave your ass prison letters starting tonight “

“ see —— sir I'm trying “ he sighed “ I really am trying to let this go but — “

“ their with me — “

“sure “ he scoffed “ I'll need to see some relations or — “

“ their my s/—their my plus one “ his eyes moved to look at everyone surrounding you guys then back to the position he now held you in before finally dropping you to the floor. Your heart dropping and ears tuning everything out from that point on.

Everything on mute until you got in the car and were finally met with his low voice as he buckled you in and walked to his side turning the car on “ y/n “

You turned to look out the window “ y/n that — “

His voice was so hard but so weak “ y/n that was so fucking embarrassing “ Your body shivered at his words

“ having to watch my fucking s/o almost get fucking arrested “

His hands tightened their grip on the wheel “ then turning around and having to talk you out of it in front of our whole graduating class “

his voice went deadpanned as he swerved a bit on the road mixing lanes “ and — and my team — oh fuck my team “

he started to breathe a bit heavier as you began to feel bad hearing the sadness in his voice. His body shifting in his seat “ all so you could “

he laughed a bit at the situation “ all so you could take your ugly ass insecurities out on your friend ? “

he scoffed looking from you to the road and back to you “ when did you two even stop being friends huh ? did I miss that or ?? do friends just go out and leave bruises on each other or is that something new? What-- is it like a new TikTok trend -- a fashion statement huh ?? the fuck is it because, I'm not a friend person so maybe you know something I don’t “

He scoffed “ maybe — maybe I'll never be a friend person after something like that. If friends are just beating each other’s asses in broad day light out the fucking blue then I'll just stick with ‘tsumu at least I know I can beat his ass if he were to pull some shit like that “

‘ friend ‘ you thought silently

“ poor kid didn’t even see it coming “ he shook his head at you turning back to the road “ holy hell that’s shameful y/n “

he whispered “ I don’t even wanna think about the rumors that’ll spread about us tomorrow “

The car was quiet only for a minute as Suna re arranged his thoughts before he could beat into you again “ friend Suna ? “

your voice was dry “ Rin do friends help each other out of their clothes ? “

your eyebrows creased “ do they focus so intently on another woman while their own is in the same room “

“ I didn’t know you were there “

“ SO YOU ONLY TAKE FRIENDS CLOTHES OFF WHEN IM NOT THERE “

“ NO I “

“ YOU ONLY TOUCH OTHER WOMEN WHEN IM NOT THERE “

“ y/n jus— “ he took a deep breathe and let it out “ just shut up its not like that “ he let out an uncomfortable and tired scoff of a laugh “ it wasn't like that “

“ it’s always shut up Suna it’s never ‘ what’s wrong y/n ‘ ‘ are you ok y/n ‘ it’s just ‘ shut up I don’t wanna talk so you don’t wanna talk either ‘ “

you locked eyes with the male in front of you “ I'm done Rin I'm— I'm done “

“ you cant leave me-- heh not after that shit you pulled back there  “ 

“ fuck if I cant--you don't look like my legs to me and as far as I know their still Bluetooth connected to my mind so-- “

“ you'll be an overnight clown you-you need me y/n “ he shook his head “ we need each other “ 

“ no you need volley ball because you need money-- because guess what asshole as of right now-- your homeless”

“ fuck you as if “

“ we’re over Suna don't let my words finally hit you when you walk out the shitty door”

“ that’s fine by me “ he scoffed “ get the hell out for all I care — I'll pack your shit for you “

“ no— I'll pack your shit asshole your living  in my house bottom feeder “

“ if you don’t shut the fuck u— “

“ then what ? huh what — you’ll leave me “

“ I swear to god I'll —”

“ you’ll what cheat on me with my best friend ah I'm so scared — “ your voice holding nothing but mock enthusiasm “ I can just imagine the way you’ll kiss her when I'm not there — these thoughts for some reason almost feels real y’know “

you watched as the man you’d taught yourself to love for 7 years since high school finally walked out the door. His perfume from earlier still hanging in the air long after the door slammed. Your mind racing when you were finally brought to one thought

‘ how did we end up like this and how the hell do we get back ‘

[captainderyn]

Comforting Calls [Fic]

Title: Comforting Calls

Summary: Young, freshly christened Captain Emeldir Deryn doesn't know what to do after his ship is stolen out from under him. Stuck on Ord Mantell, realizing he's in for far more than he bargained for on his first big job alone, panic starts to set in. He does the only thing he can do: calling his mentor and best friend Rielay Taqq.

Cross posted to AO3, but tumblr is stupid and doesn’t like links.

CW: Depiction of anxiety/panic attack

--

The last thing Emeldir wanted to do was make this call. 

Being shot into the void of space, throwing himself in the path of a rampaging Bantha, sitting through a Coruscanti Senate meeting all sounded preferable to pressing the Call button on his holo. 

He pressed his back further into the wall of the alcove he ducked into. Pedestrians passing by gave him odd looks, but ultimately paid him no attention. They were mainly Republic military, scurrying for transports to Fort Garnik. 

Where he was supposed to head, ASAP as Corso had told him. To meet with some man named Viidu. Except he couldn’t breath and he was pretty sure that if he tried to order a taxi there he would pass out. And if he tried to walk there he would most definitely get shot. 

Fuck. This situation was bad. B-A-D in all capital letters. Shit. 

His head made a soft thunk as he pressed his head back against the wall, drawing in a thick breath of the blaster smoke filled air. If only there were some place quiet, like his ship. 

He pressed Call. 

Rielay answered on the first ring. 

Regret immediately sank Emeldir’s stomach to his toes and if the wall swallowed him whole now, he wouldn’t say no. 

Her familiar, ratty black hoodie was on and a Corellian beer was in one hand. That meant one thing: it was one of her days off. And here he was, calling her. Like this. 

“Emeldir? Is everything okay?” 

Whether or not it was a good thing that she didn’t sound too intoxicated yet battled in Emeldir’s mind. Part of him hoped she was too drunk to leave whatever spaceport she was docked at. 

Less than a day. He’d been here less than a day. 

He tried to put on a bright smile, “Yes! Everything’s fine. I just wanted to ah…say hi.” 

It was weak, even to his own ears. Rielay raised her eyebrows, setting down her beer. 

Oh no.

“Are you sure?” 

He squeezed his eyes closed, shoulders slumping. Like it or not, he’d called her for a reason. Because she would know what to do. She always knew what to do. 

But he didn’t want her to fix this. He shouldn’t have made this mistake in the first place. 

Emeldir groaned, giving a shake of his head. 

“Yes…well…no.” 

    Glass hit the floor with a clatter as Rielay leaned forward and she barked a muffled curse, but kept her attention focused on Emeldir, “What happened?” 

    As much excitement came with breaking off on his own as a captain, with his own ship, nothing could undo the four years of comfort that Rielay’s friendship and mentorship brought him immediately. Even though she was liable to kill him when he told her what happened, already his heart rate was slowing. His breath still came in rapid bursts, his voice hitched up at the end, but he wasn’t convinced he was having a heart attack anymore. 

    “There was an anti-aircraft gun here,” He began, and realized his mistake when her eyes widened, body going rigid, “No, not like that, I landed fine--” 

    If what he did could be considered landing. The Phoenix had given one too many protesting groans to count as a smooth landing. 

    What was it Rielay said? A flight you walked away from was a success, a flight your ship came out of was a bonus? That didn’t feel like it still applied because his ship hadn’t come out of it. Not with him, at least. 

    Focus. Emeldir tried to reign the intruding thoughts in. 

    “I disabled the gun and my contact told me that the hangar was being attacked, but instead of coming off the ship after I took out the Sepratists he instead stole my ship and now he’s flown it off planet going stars-knows-where.” 

    It all whoosed out in one breath, as if that would keep Rielay from acknowledging it all. He sucked in a breath. 

    With deadly calm, she asked, “Are you okay?” 

    He flushed, skin prickling like lava instead of skin. His jacket was too hot, too much pressure on his arms. Constricting him. She didn’t look angry, her face wasn’t getting that dangerously red blood-rushing look it usually did. 

    But was that a flicker in her eyes?

    “I’m sorry!” he said quickly, words rushing out. “I fucked up big time, I thought I could trust my contact and…I don’t know what happened but I’m sorry. I’m going to get my ship back, I promise, I know you helped me get that ship and it’s worth a lot of credits and--” 

    And she’d helped him work jobs for the last year and a half to save up for it, helped him find a dealer selling quality used starships and walked him through all the options before settling on this one. She’d helped him paint the stripes on the side to mirror her own ship that he’d worked on for the years before that and--

    “This isn’t about the damn ship, Emeldir.” Rielay’s voice was firm and Emeldir snapped back to reality, focusing on the way she was looking at him over the holo. She had to be on Coruscant or another Core World if the quality was this consistent. 

    “But I--” 

    She cut him off, “Deep breath. Now answer me: Are. You. Okay?” 

    Struggling, he took a very deep breath. Then another. 

    “I’m fine,” he said. For all intents and purposes, he was. Outside of a few scuffs from diving into cover, he had come out of the firefight unscathed. 

    The tension left Rielay and she sighed, scrubbing a hand over her face, “Thank the stars, kid. You almost gave me a fucking heart attack.” 

    He’d lost the ship she helped him get, wasn’t that still cause for a heart attack? 

    It hadn’t even been a year out on his own yet and he’d already fucked up everything beyond belief. 

    His chest was starting to tighten again. 

    “Who stole your ship?” 

Rielay’s question interrupted his impending spiral, “Skaavak. I don’t know his last name.” 

She scowled, reaching out of frame to grab her datapad, “The name rings some kind of bell--do you need me to come to Ord Mantell?” 

Yes. No. Rielay was far more equipped to handle this than he was. But he was Captain Emeldir Deryn now for a reason. He’d signed up for this…mostly. 

“No,” Emeldir scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I want to handle this on my own. I’m supposed to meet with this Viidu guy and Corso--one of the first people I met here--and learn something about a man named Rogun the Butcher…” 

He trailed off as Rielay tensed, giving him a very long look, “Emeldir,” 

She rarely used his name with such intensity. He gulped. 

“Rogun the Butcher is a very dangerous man,” she continued, enunciating each word, “That is one of the most infamous crime bosses out there right now.” 

A potentially deadly drive was settling itself into Emeldir’s bones, “I can handle it.” 

She closed her eyes for a beat. It was the expression that usually preceded her telling Emeldir he was in over his head, “I don’t want to doubt you, kid, but this is a very different world of smuggling you’re getting into. Different than anything else we’ve done together.” 

Hearing that from her, one of the most put together, professionally skilled smugglers he knew, sent his heart skittering again. But the shame that followed considering calling her in to handle it for him overrode it. 

If Rielay could handle it, and she had taught him, then he could handle it too…Right? 

“I didn’t mean to worry you.” he said instead, “I shouldn’t have called you.” 

Called her and interrupted her night by making her realize that the kid she’d taken in and set free in his own ship was a fucking idiot. 

“You can call me anytime, I didn’t just throw you off the ship never to talk to you again.” Rielay said firmly, “That’s not how this works, okay? And for all this…there’s shitty people out there, Em, you just found your first one.” 

She did always tell him he was too idealistic for his own good. 

“I’m going to handle this.” He promised more to himself than her. 

“Okay…” Rielay’s brows were still knit, but she wasn’t poised like she was going to jump off the couch and into the cockpit of her ship anymore. “Be careful out there.” 

Despite the fact that he was only just now getting clarity back into his head instead of rapid spinning fuzziness, he couldn’t help but shoot back, “Yes, mom.” 

“I’m being serious,” Rielay snapped, “You’re getting into some real deep shit. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” 

Like on Hoth, where he’d been caught out in what should’ve been a deadly storm and separated from her. The scars on his face were still there as a reminder, and he’d bet that’s what she was staring at so distantly now with her lips pressed together. 

“I know.” He softened his voice, “I’ll be careful, and I’ll call you if I need anything.” 

She loosed a breath, “Good. Go whoop their asses and get your fucking ship back.” 

[sindri42]

What do you think the Reapers were supposed to be all about before the writer got replaced and the ending of ME3 threw out the lore?

There's not a lot that we have that's solid, just a lot of hints and suppositions. So there's no way to really conclusively determine what was supposed to be going on, but we can definitely come up with theories that match the evidence, which the "canon" absolutely does not. So here's what we know:

Harbinger refers to themself as our "salvation through destruction" and the "Harbinger of your perfection". "We will bring your species into harmony with our own" they say, and "Your species will be raised to a new existence. We are the beginning, you will be the end," but also "You will surrender your potential against the growing void."

Sovereign claims they are each a nation unto themselves, that they are the pinnacle of evolution, and when asked who created them or for what purpose insists that they have no beginning nor end

Mass Effect technology plays upon dark energy in a way that is poorly understood by the young races despite their reliance on it for almost every aspect of life

A small but significant number of stars are destabilizing for unknown reasons, aging at a massively accelerated rate.

The mass relays were built for the young races, partly so civilized planets would be laid out upon predictable paths and easily accessible via the "back door" in the Citadel, but also so that the new civilizations would develop along the lines the Reapers had planned for them

it's very rare to have more than a single major race in each cycle; most often the other spacefaring civilizations are either wiped out or made subservient to the rulers of the galaxy

The greatest race of each cycle is used in the creation of a single new Reaper, while lesser races or those with major flaws are discarded or turned into servitors like the Keepers (per the end of ME2; obviously this got retconned in 3).

Between "harvests" the Reapers retreat beyond the galactic rim, sitting quietly in the dark using as little energy as possible for tens of thousands of years at a time.

So, first and simplest assumption, the Cycle is effectively the Reapers' reproductive system. Like all life forms, they have a drive to produce more of themselves, but for some reason they can't or won't simply make a new chassis out of raw metal, and they're unwilling to use "flawed" people as components, which means the people put into it are extremely important. If the larval reaper that Shepherd killed had been allowed to grow up, it would not simply have been a machine with some random DNA inside, it would have been humanity, an entire nation and species flying through space for eternity.

Second assumption, slightly stretchy but with several weak points of support? Mass Effect technology is slowly killing the galaxy. As more people use it in more ways every year, more stars start to die. This isn't an issue that would affect any normal person alive today, the changes are observed over the course of millennia rather than even centuries, but unless something big changes everyone is eventually doomed. And sure, any given individual or small group could simply refuse to use the mass effect, but it's so easy to figure out that you could never suppress the knowledge of how to use it in any meaningful way, and it's so useful and people are so greedy and short-sighted that you could never persuade everybody to stop. And if you tried to do it by force, well, a nation making free use of eezo in their engines and their guns and their shields would wipe the floor with a nation determined to stick to mundane technology.

So, my theory of how things went down? The first race to figure out the mass effect knew they had a problem. Maybe they had already made themselves immortal, so they were more concerned with the long term than most people. Maybe they just had more foresight than most. Either way, they put themselves into a form where they could still think and communicate, likely on a deeper and more intimate level than ever before, but they would use as little energy as possible to preserve their billions of lives. The "pinnacle of evolution" if you will, a machine which had no creator besides itself, a life form which could last forever with minimal resource consumption. And they sat quietly Thinking about how to fix this, for tens of thousands of years.

But while they researched and experimented and contemplated, other life forms kept evolving. And eventually they also figured out the secret to using the mass effect, but either didn't know about the dangers or chose to ignore them. So the ancient... okay let's just call them Harbinger for convenience, had to do something to stop this. Maybe they were too soft-hearted to wipe out an entire species for an honest mistake. Or maybe their research had hit a dead end, and they needed an outside perspective to apply new ideas to the problem. Or maybe they were simply lonely, or the instinctual drive to be fruitful and multiply reared up after being suppressed for so long. Either way, they converted the young fools into another nation-ship hive-mind like themself, convinced them of the seriousness of the situation (to "surrender your potential against the growing void" as it were), and resumed Thinking out in the black.

And when it happened again, and again, they refined their approach over time. The eezo drives on the individual ships of the young races are not only slower, but also massively less efficient than the technology the Reapers have developed, so they gave the Relays away as a gift to minimize the damage each new race would do. They couldn't allow young races to become too powerful to stop, but they wanted to allow them as much opportunity to develop scientific research and understanding as possible in order to be more useful to the ongoing project to save the galaxy, so they learned how to insert observers and infiltrators throughout alien societies to observe things and ensure the Harvest was delayed for as long as it was safe to do so but no longer (and I think you can agree that they were cutting their deadlines really close given how an extra three years brought the council races from 'utterly unprepared, basically a walkover' to 'giving you a serious fight').

So, how would the game end, after you learned all of this? Maybe Shepherd simply accepts the inevitable fate of the young races, like Saren once did, and helps the Reapers to end the Cycle with a minimum of suffering so that they can join the endless search for a real solution. The ultimate 'sacrifice for the greater good', killing thousands of entire species of people in order to preserve life in the galaxy as a whole. Maybe Shepherd rejects the idea that it's worth killing billions of innocents now in order to head off some distant nebulous threat later, and fights back with everything they have... and if you managed to unify everybody you possibly could, this would certainly be more power than the Reapers ever had to deal with before in any past cycle. Or maybe you use a display of that power to force the Reapers to the negotiating table, and then use all the "impossible" things you've achieved and all the scientific progress made over the past few short years, plus a heavy dose of raw charisma and Paragon ideology, to persuade them that if everybody works together they can finally solve the impossible problem, the one that has been stumping every Reaper for millions of years, within the time span of this one final Cycle if they just share the data they have so far and allow the young races to work freely.