#what a message to come home to after work

[enwoso]

heyyyy i absolutely love the grumpy universe and i was wondering if your comfortable with writing it, could we get a fic of lovie meeting her dad or him reaching out to alessia to meet her?

A BRIDGE TO CROSS | alessia russo x child!reader

wow this is a long one, so i hope when reading this your comfy! i did decide to put the flashback in here and if any other questions arise from please ask away. also lovie’s not really in this one till later on, its more focused on alessia for once rather than lovie — but don’t worry she’s in it a little later on.

all that’s left from me is to say enjoy!

grumpy masterlist

a late afternoon sun spilled through the windows of alessia's kitchen, painting the room in a soft glow. the hum of life surrounding her as she answered a few work emails she hadn't had a chance to reply to yet while nursing a cup of now warm coffee.

you, sat across the living room floor, in alessia's eyeline from the open plan area as you hummed off-key with crayons sprawled across the floor. the floor being a chaotic masterpiece of mismatched papers, open markers and alessia's worst enemy at the moment, glitter glue.

alessia had been trying to focus on the emails from her agency on upcoming media appearances and events but her gaze kept drifting to her phone which sat beside her coffee mug like a ticking time bomb.

the message had arrived out of nowhere, a text message from harrison reed, her ex boyfriend from college who also happened to be your biological father.

alessia didn't even have the slightest idea on how he could of managed to get her phone number, it being reserved for only those closest to her. it had been years since she'd even though about hearing from him and yet, there it was. five words long.

(maybe harrison) | ‘i want to meet her.’

the words sat heavy in her chest, replaying over and over in her mind. she'd read the message half a dozen times already, trying to decode its intent. trying to figure out if it was genuine or another empty promise she'd have to shield her daughter from.

across the room, you were a picture of joy. your own little personality as you chatted away to yourself. you were drawing again, as always, your tiny hands gripping a purple crayon.

alessia smiling to herself faintly as she watched you press on the paper a little too hard as your tongue stuck out in concentration.

"mummy, look!" you chirped up as you sat up onto your knees holding up your creation, a stick figure with wild hair standing beside a lopsided house. "it's you and me!"

alessia chuckled softly, setting her coffee down to admire the drawing, "it's beautiful lovie, your getting to be quite the artist!”

you beamed as your face lit up, "i'm going to draw esme next" you announced grabbing the elephant teddy with such enthusiasm.

alessia leaned back on the seat she was sat at, her heart tightening. you were everything to her. she'd fought so hard to you a life filled with love and to shield you from the shadows of the past.

and now, he wanted to come back. and alessia was sure if she could trust him, especially not after how he reacted when she told him.

five years ago.

alessia was sat on the edge of the bathtub in her cramped dorm bathroom, the stick trembling in her hand. she had re-read the result at least ten times. her chest tightening with every glance at the small plus sign.

pregnant.

pressing a hand to her mouth, willing herself not to cry. but her thoughts raced: she was nearly four thousand miles away from home, her scholarship, her dreams of playing professionally.

everything she had spent years working for felt like it was slipping through her fingers.

the sound of her phone buzzing on the counter was what jolted her out of her spiralling thoughts. it was him, harrison. staring a the screen as her stomach twisted in knots.

she hadn't even told him she'd been late this month. he didn't know she'd been panicking all week, buying test after test after practice and waiting for her dorm to be empty before she even dared to use it.

taking a deep breath, she pressed the green button, answering him. "hey less," harrison said his voice easy and light, "what's up?"

her throat felt dry, but she forced the words out, "can you come over? i need to talk to you"

"sure, is everything okay?"

"just..come over- please harrison"

alessia had met harrison through a party in her first year at the unc campus, he a bit like her had a athlete scholarship but his was for football not soccer.

the two had been off and on for a few months before they became official at the end of her freshman year.

the two were a good couple, harrison looked out for alessia and she thought she loved him but maybe that was just because he was her first love — he definitely wasn't the one for her.

when harrison showed up fifteen minutes later, his hoodie pulled up against the chilly evening air, a plastic bag no doubt filled with snacks he'd grabbed from the local store.

alessia sat in the edge of her bed, her hands wriggling nervously in her lap. harrison leaned against the doorframe, his expression puzzled by the shear look on his girlfriends face.

"alright, what's going on? you look like you've seen a ghost" his american accent cutting through the room like a knife. alessia looking up at him as she tried to think of the best way to say it.

biting her lip as her heart pounded in her chest. she didn't know how to start so she just held up the pregnancy test, her hands trembling.

harrison froze, his easy and chilled demeanour evaporating, "is that...?"

she nodded, "i'm pregnant" she said it barely coming out above a whisper.

he scoffed, as he stared at her his face totally unreadable. before he laughed a short, disbelieving sound. "your joking right, like this is one of those weird youtube pranks?" he asked spinning his head around to look around for a camera.

"it's not a joke harrison."

his expression immediately changed, "you can't be serious less, we're still in college. we aren't ready for this-"

"do you not think i don't already realise that!" she snapped, her voice breaking, "do you think i haven't thought about how this is going to change everything?"

harrison let out a loud sigh as he paced the small room, "so.. what are you going to do?" he asked as alessia glanced at him with a blank expression, "you're not actually planning on keeping it, are you?"

alessia's stomach churned at his words, "it's not 'it" harrison. it's a baby, our baby."

he stopped, his face paling, "less you've got a scholarship, you've got a great future ahead of you, you can't throw it away for this?"

her voice wavered, but she stood her ground. "i haven't decided yet, but if i keep the baby, it's not 'throwing my future away'"

harrison shook his head, his tone a lot colder now, "you're not thinking straight. just figure it out.. alright and let me know what you decide."

and without another beat or word, harrison left. leaving alessia alone in the suffocating silence.

—

it had been two weeks since alessia had found out she was pregnant and the decision of what to do had been weighing on her both mentally and physically.

she'd hardly slept, her thoughts consumer by the enormity of what was ahead. but after breaking silence with her family and them offering her their undying support.

with many sleepless nights on the phone to her mum, she knew what she wanted. for both her and her baby.

she was going to keep the baby.

the clarity didn't make facing harrison any easier. she had spent the morning rehearsing in her head what to say, trying to figure out what his reaction would be.

arriving at his dorm, it not being too far of a walk from hers. hesitantly she lifted her hand hovering over the door before finally knocking.

harrison answered quickly, his expression guarded, "hey, you alright?" he asked pulling the blonde into a side hug as he kissed the top of her head.

"can..we talk?" alessia asked, stepping to the side to sit on the couch before he could respond. not wanting to give herself the chance to back out.

he closed the door behind her, crossing his arms as he leant against the wall, he knew exactly what the conversation was about to be had. "so have you figured it out?"

alessia frowned at the casual tone in his voice as if this wasn't a serious conversation but she forced herself to stay calm knowing an argument right now would not be the best thing, "yeah i have. i'm keeping the baby."

harrison's eyes widened briefly clearly not the answer he was hoping or expecting as his brow furrowed deeper. "less, come on. think for a moment. your only twenty, we're still in college. your finally getting noticed by the senior teams, and football is going well for me. you can't seriously think this is a good idea-"

her jaw tightened, "it's my decision, harrison. i've thought about it and this is what i want. i'm keeping my baby"

he scoffed, running a hand through his hair, "are you hearing yourself right now. how are you supposed to raise a kid at your age, it's insane less"

"i'll figure it out" alessia snapped her voice firm despite the lump in her throat. "i have my family. i don't need you to like it, harrison. but i just need you to know this is happening"

he stared at her for a long moment, his expression hardening as he let out a loud sigh, "look i'm not ready for this" he said his voice cold and clipped. "i can't be a dad, less. not yet anyway"

alessia felt something in her chest pang, the hurt cutting a littler deeper than she expected. but beneath the pain a fierce determination began to take roots she straightened her back meeting his gaze head on.

"ok" she said shrugging, her voice steady, "if you don't want to be involved, you won't be. but know this, my baby deserves better than someone who walks away when things get hard."

harrison opened his mouth as if to argue, but alessia shook her head stopping him. not wanting her hear anything else from the boy.

"i don't want anything from you, harrison. not your money, not your time, nothing. from now we're done. me and my baby won't have anything to do with you."

her words hung in the air like a challenge and for a moment alessia thought he may change his mind, say something and protest her stern words.

but he didn't, he just sighed shoving his hands into his pockets, "if that's what you want"

alessia's heart ached at his indifference, the memories built flooding into her mind but she refused to let him see her cry. without another word she turned and walked out of his dorm door.

walking along the dimly lit door corridor, the cool air hitting her face as she let out a shaky breath. a wave of reality hitting her like a brick as tears pricked at her eyes but she quickly wiped them away angrily.

"i promise we'll be better without him" she whispered to herself, placing a protective hand over her stomach.

in that moment, alessia made a silent promise to herself and her unborn baby: she would give them a life filled with love and supports. they mightn't have their father to turn to but they would never feel unloved.

and alessia would make sure of it.

that evening, alessia was sat in the familiar comfort of her parents' living room. her hands curled around a mug of tea. the walls were adorned with family photos — memories of holidays, birthdays and days out which were always loud and full of love.

it had always been her safe haven, but tonight, it felt anything but safe.

you had spent the evening in the kitchen with your nonna, helping to make dinner which had been a favourite of yours. making faces on everyone's pizzas with the toppings.

you were now in dream land having difted to sleep in your mummy's arms as you watched the tv.

alessia's parents, mario and carol as well as her older brothers gathered around her each wearing a different expression after hearing the news of who was back.

mario sat forward in his chair, elbows on him knees as his brow furrowed in deep though. carol was perched on the couch beside alessia as she gave a comforting hand on her knee in quiet support.

while her brothers, giorgio and luca across the room sat side by side with their arms crossed and a protective energy glowing from them almost tangible.

alessia's dad broke the silence first, his voice steady but soft. "so to get it straight, after four years, harrison out the blue wants to meet tiny?"

alessia nodded, her hands tightening around her mug. "that's what he says, somehow he got my number and messaged me yesterday"

"but he hasn't been around at all" luca's voice was sharp cutting through the air like a blade, "so why are we even having this conversation. his actions speak louder than his words"

alessia hummed, she knew exactly what her brother was saying, heck she felt the same way. but for some reason the decision felt like such a difficult one.

her mum, carol sighed, giving alessia's hand a reassuring squeeze, "darling, i know this is complicated but.. maybe he's realised he made a mistake. people do change you know"

mario nodded in agreement, his expression thoughtful, "exactly what your mum says, it sounds like he's trying to take responsibility. and as much as you maybe wish it wasn't true but harrison is her father and she deserves the chance to know that"

alessia bit her lip, torn between her parents clam logic and her brothers silent fury. she couldn't deny that part of her wanted to believe harrison had changed that he could finally be the father figure you deserved but despite her parents words, alessia knew harrison better than them.

and she didn't know if she was exactly ready to gamble with your heart.

"you really think he deserves a chance, dad?" alessia asked still hesitant.

mario nodded slowly, "i do, i'm not saying forgive him overnight but you could always meet with him, if he's in london and talk to him. see if he's serious. if he's willing to show up for her now — that has to count for something."

a loud scoff could be then heard from luca, his arms tightening across his chest. "count for what? a pat on the back for finally doing what he should've been doing for the past four years-"

carol gave her eldest son a sharp look, "luca. don't make this harder than it already is for your sister."

but luca was unmoved in his opinion, "but mum, he walked away when less needed him most! and now he thinks he can just waltz back in like nothings happened!"

gio, who had been quieter of the two brothers, decided to add his opinion. his voice firm, "and what happens if he decides it's too hard for him and disappears again? think about what that'll do to lovie. she's too young to understand why her dad didn't stick around the first time."

alessia's throat tightened, like she was going to either be sick or pass out or maybe both. she'd had the same thoughts running through her mind all day.

"boys" mario said sharply cutting through the clear tension which was building. his tone carrying the weight of authority. "this isn't about us, it's about what's best for y/n and if harrison is serious don't you think she deserves to know him?"

luca scoffed, "only if he's serious," luca snapped sharply, "and that's a big if."

carol turned back to alessia, her expression softer now, "what do you think darling? do you believe he's changed?"

alessia let out a shaky breath, setting her mug down on the coffee table careful not to wake you as you slept peacefully in her arms. "i don't know mum, part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt but i can't risk lovie getting hurt. she's happy and she doesn't even know what's she missing."

"which is exactly why you should be careful," gio firmly said, her voice protective not only of his sister but also of his niece. "she doesn't know him. if you let him in and he screws up — she's the one whose going to get hurt and confused, not him."

the room fell into a tense silence, alessia's parents and brothers were split down the middle — her dad and mum urging caution but also the fact everyone deserves a second chance while her brothers were both adamant that harrison definitely wasn't even worthy of considering the opportunity.

finally mario broke the stalemate, "less, we can sit here and go back and forth but at the end of the day it's your decision. tiny is your daughter and whatever you choose, we'll support you.

alessia nodded slowly, her eyes stinging with she'd tears. she appreciated their support but it didn't make the decision any easier.

glancing down at your sleeping figure in her arms as you clutched the side of her hoodie in your hands, soft breaths coming from your lips. her heart aching as she thought about your bright, innocent and trusting smile.

whatever she decided, it had to be for your sake.

—

it was a few days since she'd been at her parents, going over her options and she was still no further forward on what to do so as she sat lying on her bed it was late and the house was quiet, you tucking up peacefully in bed and the world was quiet, but alessia's mind was anything but.

so as she lay on facetime to someone she hoped would be able to give her an honest and brutal opinion and not sugar coat it.

"so after four years he's just reached out, that's mad less" ella's thick accent came through the speaker as her brows furrowed as she adjusted the angle of her phone

alessia sighed running a hand through her freshly washed hair, "tell me about it. it's like where has he suddenly gotten the change of heart come from. i don't know if i can trust him, el"

ella's face softened, her usual playful smirk replaced with genuine concern, she'd seen the fallout after what happened. the state the blonde had been in when she came home from the states six months pregnant.

she was the only one who really knew the whole story. whether that was from late night chats or drunken confessions after one too many on a team night out.

"i mean i don't blame you, after all you've brought her up on your own. you've played both parents and he's just been.. well not here"

"exactly," alessia said her voice tight, "and now he want to meet her" alessia huffed expressing the same concerns about letting harrison back into your life like she did with her parents.

ella shifted, propping herself up on her elbows, "it normal that your feeling worried, but.. what if he's serious this time? people can change less. don't you think tiny deserves the chance to know her dad, even if it's just to see for herself what he's like?"

alessia frowned leaning back against the headboard of her bed. "but that's the thing, she's doesn't even know he exists. she's happy el and i've worked so hard to keep my promise to her and give her a good life"

"i know you have less," ella said softly, "but.. what if one day after school she asks about him. what are you going to tell her? that you wouldn't give him the chance"

alessia groaned quietly, covering her face with her hands. part of her wishing he had never even sent the message and then she wouldn't be in such a split state of mind. "i don't know! that's why i'm calling you. i don't know what to do."

ella was quiet for a moment, her expression deep in thought. "look i get your scared, heck i don't know sometimes how you manage everything you do. but i also know how much you love that little girl. you always put her first and this is no different."

ella paused as alessia nodded, hearing her best friend loud and clear, "maybe the answer isn't about trusting him— it's about trusting yourself. you'll know if it's the right thing to do."

alessia let out a small laugh, as she looked at the camera, "you make it sound so simple"

ella laughed lightly, "it's not simple, far from it. it's messy as hell. but your so strong, less. you've handled everything else life thrown at you and you'll handle this too. just.. don't rush it. start small and let him prove himself."

alessia let out a slow breath, the tension in her shoulders easing a little, "you really think i should give him a chance?"

ella's eyes softened as she let out a sigh, "i think you should do what feels right for tiny. but yeah maybe, give him a shot. if he messes up you'll know and you'll handle it. your her mum and there's no better at protecting her than you"

for the first time in a couple days a small smile tugged at alessia's lips, "thanks el, i don't know what i'd do without you."

ella grinned, her usual cheeky grin as her playful energy returned, "you'd probably just sit overthinking everything. good thing i'm always here to knock some sense into you"

alessia laughed, shaking her head, "your an idiot"

"and yet you still love me for it!" ella winked before stifling a yawn. "right go and get some sleep. you've got enough in your plate without being a total zombie tomorrow."

"and less," ella paused grabbing the blondes attention as she shuffled around her bed, "i'm proud of you" ella smiled softly as the two shared an understanding nod, knowing exactly what the other was saying without having to say a word.

"goodnight, el" alessia smiled her voice softer

"night, less. you've got this! oh, and give my favourite little russo a kiss from her auntie ella, i miss her” ella added with a pout as a small giggled came from alessia as she nodded telling her best friend she would do just that.

as the screen went dark, alessia leaned back against her pillows, staring up at the ceiling as ella's words replayed in her mind. for the first time since harrison's message, she felt the faintest flicker of clarity.

—

the cafe was small and tucked into a quiet corner of london, the last thing alessia wanted was for this to be in every media outlet going. so she chose a discreet location somewhere she wouldn't usually go.

the bell above the door jingled as she stepped inside, clutching her coat tightly around her. her eyes scanning the room until she saw him: harrison reed.

sat at a table by the window, his hands wrapped around what looked to be some sort of health smoothie filled with all the healthy greens.

his hair a little shorter than she remembered, not the messy moon of curls it was back in college as well as the light subtle on his jaw. a black shirt covering him as his arms where on show a lot more tattoos coving his arms than the blonde could recall from back in college.

he looked nervous — his knee bouncing under the table, his fingers tapping against the plastic cup. when he saw her, he stood quickly unsure what to do or how to greet the blonde so he stuck his hands into his pockets.

"alessia" he said his voice tentative.

alessia just gave him a curt nod as she forced herself to take a steadying breath. she walked towards him, her heart pouring in her chest.

as she reached the table, sliding into the seat across from him without a word, her posture rigid and far from relaxed.

harrison sat down slowly, his movements careful as if he was afraid of scaring her off. for a moment neither of them spoke. alessia kept her arms crossed tightly, her gaze fixed on him like a shield.

"do you want a dri-" harrison began but was quickly shut off by the blonde shaking her head, "-no, i'm not staying long. i have to pick lovie up at three"

the blonde glanced down at the time on her phone, thirty minutes. that it all she had to do was listen to him for thirty minutes. she could do that.

harrison just nodded, "well thanks for uh, meeting me" harrison finally said, stuttering over his words.

alessia's lips pressed into a thin line. "you said it was important."

he nodded, his eyes flickering to the smoothie in front of him before returning to her. "it is. i've.. i've been thinking about this for a while. reaching out, i mean. i know it's been too long. way too long"

her jaw tightened, "four years harrison. you haven't said anything in four years. you didn't even say anything after i went out my way to send you a message the day she was born"

he flinched slightly at the sharpness in her tone, guilt washing over his face. "i-i know i didn't and i hate myself for it alessia. i wasn't ready back then. i was..scared, stupid and i thought walking away was the right thing to do because i didn't think i could handle it."

alessia let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. "the right thing? you left me to do it all alone, i was terrified too but i didn't get the luxury of running away"

alessia paused for a moment her voice a little shaky as she took a deep breath, "i had to figure it out alone — for her"

harrison's face fell as his hands tightened around the plastic cup, "i've let you down, both of you. and i know i'll never be able to make up for that. but i've changed alessia. i'm not the same selfish idiot i was back then"

she arched an eyebrow, skepticism radiating from her as she let out a scoff, "and now you try think you can just walk into her life and everything will be sunshine and rainbows? do you even understand what you're asking?"

harrison hesitated as his gaze dropped to the table, alessia continuing voicing her frustration, "and what happens when you go back to america"

harrison's head picked back up as he shook it, "i- i live here now. i have for the past year and a bit... football didn't work out for me not like the.. the way it did for you. i erm work for marketing firm now, the hours are long but it works" he shrugged and alessia nodded talking in the new information.

it didn't change a lot but it definitely changed something. harrison wasn't going to go away after a few months, especially now, not since he lived here too. alessia couldn't just forget him like she did before when he lived across the world.

"and i can't sit here and pretend to understand what it's been like for you. but i know i want to try. i want to be there for y/n even if it's just a small part. she deserves to know her dad"

the mention of your name coming from his lips made alessia's heart ache. your bright smile flashing in her mind, your endless curiosity and infectious laughter.

"she doesn't even know you exist" alessia said quietly, her voice cracking slightly, you had never really asked but alessia knew with each month that passed it was only a matter of time till you did. "she's happy and i've worked so hard to give her a life full of love and stability. i won't let you ruin that.

harrison's eyes filled with remorse, "i’m not here to ruin anything. i just want a chance. if i could erase the past i would in a heartbeat. but i know i can show up now. so please alessia, let me try and prove myself to you."

she studied for a long moment, searching his face for any hint of insincerity. there was a desperation in his eye but also something else — determination maybe even hope.

"this isn't about you." she said finally, her voice steady. "this is about it her and if you're not serious, if you mess this up. i'll never forgive you.

harrison nodded quickly, his expression earnest. "i understand and i swear i'm serious. i'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you."

alessia leaned back in her chair as her arms still crossed tightly. she wasn't ready to trust him, not yet, but she couldn't ignore the tiny voice in her head whispering 'what if he has changed?' 'what if this is his change to be the dad you deserve'

after a long pause, she sighed, "i need time to think about this and i'm not making any promises harrison."

"of course," he said quickly, a flash of shock going over his features at the blondes response, "take all the time you need, i'll wait."

she stood, reaching for her coat "this isn't just about meeting her. if i let you in, you have to stay. no backing out when things get hard. no disappearing acts and if you can't promise that then we might as well not even bother"

harrison rose to his feet, his posture uncertain but hopeful, "i promise alessia. i have a life here, i live here and have a steady job i promise i'm not going anywhere."

she didn't respond, simply pulling her coat tighter around herself as she nodded mumbling a quick "i'll be in touch" as she headed towards the door.

as she stepped outside and closer to her car in the cold air, she felt a swirl of emotions: anger, fear and deep down a faintest flicker of hope.

—

a few weeks had passed since alessia had met harrison in that cafe. after a few days of going back and forth with the idea and a few more conversations with her mum and ella.

she decided to give him the chance to know his daughter. giving harrison a call, him answering pretty much straight away his voice filled with hope as alessia asked when he would next be free along with another warning of the risk she was taking.

which lead to this warm sunday, and for once where alessia didn't have a match. the team having played on the friday night. as alessia and you walked through your local park which was only a short walk from your house.

the playground at the park was alive with laughter and the squeals of children running around in every direction.

alessia stopped for a moment as she leaned down to tie your shoelace again for you, standing back up as she gripped the straps of her bag tightly.

feeling her stomach churn as she glanced towards a bench in the distance, where harrison was sitting. his posture stiff as he sat with his hands clasped together.

beside her, you tugged at her hand excitedly. the eyes of your hair slightly curled bouncing up and down as you pointed towards the swings.

"mummy! can we go on the swings first?" you asked, your voice brimming with nothing but energy.

alessia forced a smile as she leant down to your level, "in a bit we can lovie, but first there's someone i would like you to meet"

your head tilted the side, curiosity filling your features as you wondered who it could be, "who?"

alessia swallowed hard, her throat dry, "he's... someone who would like to get to know you. his name is harrison"

before you could ask any more questions, alessia straightening up as her gaze met harrison's. he was already looking over, waving alessia over as she could sense his nervous energy practically radiating from him.

alessia taking your hand and starting to walk towards him, her heart pounding with every step.

as they approached, harrison offered a small and tentative smile. "hi y/n" he said softly, his voice careful and gentle not wanting to overwhelm you.

you looked at him, your big blue eyes wife with curiosity as you clutched your mummy's hand a little tighter. your usual boldness momentarily replaced with shyness. "hi," you said after a pause, you voice quiet and timid.

alessia crouched down before you, her hand staying tightly in yours, "lovie, this is harrison" she said her voice calm but steady. "and he's.. your dad"

your brow furrowed slightly, her head tilting as you processed your mummy's words, "my dad?" you repeated, your gaze flicking between your mummy and harrison.

"yes" alessia said softly, "he's been away for a little while, but he wants to get to know you"

harrison leaned forward, putting himself a little closer to you. he looked hesitant unsure if he should speak but when you didn't back away, he took a deep breath.

"it's nice to finally meet you, y/n." he said his voice warm and welcoming, "your mummy has told me so many wonderful things about you."

you stared at him for a moment, your little button nose scrunching up as you studied his face. finally you asked, "but why weren't you here before?"

the question hit like a punch to the gut and alessia felt her breath get caught in her throat as she looked at harrison waiting to see how he would respond.

harrison's face softened, guilt flickering in his eyes. "that's a good question" he said gently. "the truth is, i made a mistake. a pretty big one and i wasn't there when i should've been and i'm really really sorry for that"

you blinked, your expression still curious but no longer as guarded as you were, "so.. but your not going away now?"

harrison's throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, "no kiddo, i’m not going anywhere. and if you'll let me i would really like to spend time with you and get to know you"

alessia felt her chest tighten at the raw emotion in his voice. she looked down at you whose gaze was fixed on harrison and after a long moment you nodded slowly.

"okay" you said simply.

harrison's face lighting up with relief, his smile genuine and warm, "okay" he echoed softly.

you turned back to look at your mummy, your usual energy returning. "can i show him the swings, mummy? i'm really good at swinging high!"

alessia hesitated for a moment, her protective instincts warring slightly with the tentative hope stirring in her chest. finally she nodded, "of course lovie. go on"

you grabbed harrison's hand without hesitation, pulling him towards the swings with the same confidence you had with everyone you trusted.

alessia watching as harrison followed you, his movements careful but not awkward. he listened to you chattering about your favourite colours and how you someday when you get older would like a puppy like your auntie beth and steph.

by the time you reached the swings, you had clearly decided that harrison was worth your attention. you climbed onto the swing and your legs were kicking in anticipation.

"push me! but not too high!" you instructed your voice filled with authority.

harrison chuckled, a sound alessia hadn't heard in years. it bringing back memories of the two of them when they were sit and laugh in their dorms about things that probably weren't even funny.

"you got it kiddo!"

as harrison gently pushed on the swing, your laughter filled the air, bright and unrestrained. alessia stood by the bench watching them with a strange mix of emotions swirling inside her.

for the first time, she allowed herself to believe that maybe—just maybe—this could work.

—

the sun had dipped lower in the sky as they walked home, the soft golden light casting long shadows on the pavement of the three.

you skipping happily ahead, holding your mummy's hand with one of her own while the other clutched the small daisy harrison had plucked for her from the park.

you hadn't stopped talking since they left, your excitement bubbling over as you recounted every little thing about your day.

harrison walked in the other side of alessia, his hands shoved deep into her coat pockets, clearly not well adjusted to the cool breeze that london brings once the sun had lowered.

his steps were measured as his gaze drifted towards you every so often as if he couldn't quite believe you were real and part his blood.

when they reached the driveway of your home, you running straight to the door as your mummy came up behind unlocking it for you to rush inside the warmth, kicking your shoes off before turning to the door seeing your mummy and har- your daddy still stood at the door way.

"are you coming inside daddy?" you asked so innocently with a big toothy grin.

the words so simple as daddy, landed like a punch and a hug all at once. alessia's heart clenching and she saw the way harrison froze, his eyes widening for just a moment before he crouched down to your level.

"not today, y/n" he said gently, his voice steady but filled with emotion. remembering about what alessia had said about boundaries and wanting to respect them. "but i'll see you soon, and maybe we can go to a soft play"

you pouted slight but your expression softened when harrison added, "i promise i’ll be back, pinky swear?" he held out his pink and you giggled as you wrapped yours around his, "pinky swear!"

satisfied with the answer you were given, you turned and tugged at your mummy's arm, "can i have a snack now, mummy?"

alessia smiled, brushing a faint curl from your face, "go on inside and wash your hands first lovie, i'll be through in a moment"

you nodded, bouncing your way inside and making a beeline for the kitchen as you held your daisy tight in your hand.

as you bounced down the hallway, the world seemed to grow quieter. alessia turning back to harrison after making sure you went were you should be, crossing her arms instinctively over her chest.

for a long moment, they stood there, the late afternoon casting a soft flow over their faces.

harrison shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, his hands still buried inside his coat pockets, "she's.. amazing" he said finally, his voice thick with emotion.

alessia's lips twitched into a small smile despite herself. "she is, i've worked hard to make sure she has a good life"

"and you've done an incredible job" harrison said honestly, his eyes meeting alessia's. "she's so clever, so confident. that's all you"

alessia felt her guard waver, but she quickly steadied herself, "not just me. my family and my friends. she's surrounded by people who shower her with love" her gaze hardened slightly, "people who've been there since day one."

harrison flinched but nodded, he knew it was coming. his jaw tightened, "yeah, i deserve that one," he admitted quietly.

"i know i let you down less- alessia. both of you. and i don't expect forgiveness overnight but i would like to there for her now, and you if you ever need me. however you'll let me" harrison smiled softly, alessia taking in his words, letter by letter.

alessia studied him, her expression unreadable, "your really asking me to fully trust you, after four years of nothing."

"yeah" harrison said quietly, his voice was steady despite the weight of alessia's words. "but not just for me, but for her. i'll do whatever it takes to prove that i'm serious this time."

her lips pressed together into a thin line as she considered him, the sincerity in his eyes was hard to ignore but the scars of the past were fresh and the last few days had opened more than alessia care to admit.

"we'll see" she said finally, her voice cool but not dismissive, "you've got a long way to go harrison. don't make me regret this."

he nodded, a small but grateful smile tugging at his lips, "i won't, i promise"

for a minute, the weight of their shared history hung between them — everything left unsaid, every moment lost. then alessia took a small step back her hand resting lightly on the door handle.

"goodnight, harrison."

"goodnight, alessia. message me once you've had time to think!"

she slipped inside and close the door behind her, leaning against it for a moment as she let out a shaky breath.

your laughter echoing from the kitchen, no doubt in alessia's mind that you were making soap bubbles while you washing your hands and alessia felt the faintest glimmer of hope pierce through the wall of doubt surrounding her heart.

[lostintransist]

Broken Beyond Bearing

-… . - .- … / -… . .. -. —. / -… ..- - -.-. …. . .-. . -..

@beloveds-embrace I hope I did this idea a bit of justice so far. Inspired by the delcious idea from beloveds found here.

CW: references to medical procedures that were not agreed to, reader is dying, A/B/O, odd dynamics, babies first time writing A/B/O.

A/N: I am really new to A/B/O so if something feels off or if you want more of this idea LMK!

Kate told you that the CIA still used Morse code in the field sometimes. It had fallen out of fashion after World War II and the alphabet soup of government agencies liked to reuse what they could. She said it worked best for short messages and when speaking could alert enemies. She talked at you nonstop on the long drive from the hospital. You wondered if the silence would bite at her toes or if the drone of the engine would keep it at bay.

She found you in the waiting room. Back straight, head upright you stare out the window across from you. If you ignore her maybe she will leave you alone like everyone else. You had been freed from a facility when some government agency or another busted them for performing illegal experiments on betas. Everyone else had a family to return to.

You weren’t everyone.

“I have a friend at this hospital. He called me when he saw that you had yet to be released,” she uses a soft voice as if the mint green and oddly shaped couches were pews instead. Pews don’t creak like plastic when you shift your weight. “My name is Kate. My friend, Ty, is an administrator here. He mentioned you needed someone to sign for you due to your beta status and the lack of documentation on your identity.”

Silence had been your only weapon against the staff there and the staff here.

She smells of alpha, the heady scent that should reek of safety and confidence. It tastes sour in the back of your throat.

“I’ve read through the information about you from Scorpio, the changes they made to you? They don’t expect you to make it another five years.” Kate rubbed her hands down the top of her slacks. “I’m here to give you an offer.”

Glancing at her without turning your head you wait. When she meets your side eye you shift your gaze back to the distant fluffy clouds dotting the sky like sheep grazing through a meadow. The sky sheep look all the whiter for the blanket of snow smothering the earth below.

“I know of a group of men, even split between them alpha and omega, who could use someone to care for. They are gone for long stretches of time and won’t pressure you for anything, only to care for you and use you as a touchstone of normalcy,” Kate lets out a breath, the shifting air bringing more of her should be comforting scent to your nose.

Voices drift past the locked doors to your right. You had posted up on the maternity floor, the staff had yet to find you here the last few times you were able to avoid their gazes.

“Why me?” Your voice whispers out. Should have grabbed the water mug the night nurse had left on your tray before you ducked from the room.

“Well, that’s the sticking point. They don’t know you would be coming. The guys have started to fray at the edges, getting reckless on jobs. I need them to be safe. If they have someone to come home to?”

Ah, so this wasn’t about you. Couldn’t ever be about you could it? No. Always a beta, never important.

Scorpio had seen six hundred seventeen betas through their doors before you quit counting. Not one of them left through the front door.

“You can’t tell them I’m dying.”

Control had to be a resource you doled out sparingly.

“Done.”

“And I get my own bed.”

The wrinkles around her face deepen as Kate settles on an unsure look.

“I’m not sure…”

“I will spend time in their nest when invited but I get my own bed,” you look at her now, face to face.

She must see something unmovable in your expression.

Sighing, her eyes drift shut and her shoulders relax.

“I will make it happen.”

Nodding once you stand.

“Lead on Kate, let us meet my doom head-on.”

Kate chooses not to comment on your morose declaration.

Maybe that is why she filled the car with her voice? She must not appreciate your brand of deadly honesty.

Her voice drifts away as she turns off the well-maintained and snow-cleared highway for a clear spot marked only by the tire tracks that lead between the dense trees.

“I’ve told them so many damn times they need to move closer but no it’s all ‘Kate you don’t understand we need the space from everyone’ and never thinking of how hard it is for people to visit them,” she mutters to herself as the color leeches from her knuckles with each slip of the tires.

“Maybe they don’t want visitors.”

Kate’s brows pull down as she glares out the windshield.

Looking back out the window you catch sight of a massive moose between the trunks before it disappears into the trees. It takes another twenty minutes of achingly slow driving before Kate finally relaxes her shoulders.

The smell of satisfaction drifts through the car heater. Turning you find a modestly large cabin, a green metal slanted roof, and a porch that reaches from one corner of the house to the other. Next to the stairs that connected the porch to the ground are two vehicles, one SUV and one large truck, though these both sit neatly under the porch. Kate parks in the open.

Without hesitation she climbs from the driver’s seat, grabbing the backpack she picked up for you with your three changes of clothes and two sets for sleeping. Kate is halfway up the stairs when you finally join her. Snow clings to the canvas of your shoes even as you follow in the large boot prints she left behind for you.

Tucking your arms close to your chest you stand behind Kate as she pounds with a fist on the door. The swish of her coat is the loudest sound beyond her beating for entry. You are fighting to keep your teeth from chattering when the door finally opens. You didn’t know cold had a smell. The only word you could find for it? Sharp.

“John. Took you long enough,” Kate pushes her way through the opening in the door.

A burly man steps back to allow her entrance. He is barely decent, his robe hanging open and tie only just covering his bits. John lifts a brow at you when you don’t immediately follow. You are not dressed for winter. When a particularly chilled bit of wind rushes past you and into the house, he moves to shut the door. Darting inside you watch him warily until you stand near Kate again. She stands in front of a massive couch. Counting the cushions, you give yourself the space to breathe. Twelve separate sitting spaces, three walls of a square, and still with room to walk behind and peer out the window that took up nearly the whole wall behind it.

“Not like you to show up without calling Kate. What is this about?” John steps around the snow you shed on his hardwood floor.

“I brought you a wife.”

They stare at each other for nearly thirty seconds. Your toes start to sting from the cold. The shoes on your feet squeak as you shift from foot to foot. Making the mistake of breathing too deeply you can taste the battle of wills between them. Kate’s shouldn’t be sour scent warred with John’s masculine, woodsy scent. He was an omega?

A long table is positioned opposite the kitchen, and central to it all is a wood-burning stove. The kitchen has an excess of cabinets. You start to count them to avoid what your nose is telling you.

“Why would I need a wife?” He finally asks.

You are also curious about the word choice. Betas weren’t terribly important in the grand scheme, born at a lower rate and died at a faster one. Populations didn’t need betas to survive, they, you, were mostly only good for keeping fights from escalating. With everyone receiving training in school anymore on how to address and deal with signs of rut/heat to avoid fights, death due to rut-related combat had reduced by over half. Betas were less important than ever. The other reduction in deaths had come from Scorpio.

Sarah had always been so proud to tell you about how you were contributing to keeping alphas from killing each other when she drew your blood or injected you with yet another unknown serum. The government had started to pump the barest amount of what Sarah called, calmers, into the water system. Said it was good for everyone, like fluoride.

“Serin, helicopter, Los Alamos, hospital visit. Would you like me to go on?” Kate said all those words as if they made any sort of sense.

John sucked in a deep breath through his nose. His eyes snapped to you.

“What are you?”

Kate steps in front of you. The slap of your hand to your scent gland runs parallel to her words. Sarah had done something to you, changed everything at a base level, including your scent.

“Beta, and a wife. Someone to care for, someone who needs you.”

His eyes are on you as sounds from deeper in the house reach your ears. Deep voices, a loud thump, then laughter. You look past John and see a set of stairs near the front door that leads to a second floor that only takes up part of the space from the vaulted ceiling.

“We don’t need anyone Kate-” he folds his arms across his hairy chest as Kate cuts him off.

“Should I ask them then? Call them down and see what they say?” She glares up at him, the height difference not making a difference even when her alpha to his omega should. You had only ever seen one dynamic, alpha ruling, all else managing to stay out of their way. That did not hold true here. They battled as equals.

John let his lung full of air go, a sigh of admission as his hands fell to his hips.

“No. We will take her.”

Kate nods once, settling your backpack on the couch before turning and giving your shoulder a squeeze.

When she turns back to John she gives him the final piece of information.

“She gets a room to herself. Doesn’t need to be much, but at least a place to retreat when everything becomes too much.”

He rolls his eyes but nods.

“Anything else Kate?” He asks drolly.

The glare she sends him is met with a smirk.

“I will check back in a week to see how everyone is settling.”

John walks her to the front door, opening it for Kate to step back into the startling brilliance of the sun twinkling off snow.

When the door clicks shut behind her John turns to you. His eyes drift from your feet upward until settling on your face.

“Hello, wife.”

[feluka]

Mahmoud @ma7moudgaza2 was generous enough to bring you a Q&A for those with questions and doubts about fundraisers.

Here is his message to all of you:

🔴How do I donate? And to whom? How do I ensure the donation reaches the needy in Gaza? -This question comes from a lot of my contacts. "Mahmoud, how do we donate to our brothers in Gaza?" or sometimes they ask "Mahmoud, do you know this person?" I say "Yes, but not personally. I've seen them and know they are Gazan. What about them?" They respond "Should I donate to them? Do they truly need it?" To which I respond: "Thank you, but you know them and know their blog, so you can contact them, check on them, this might console them more than donations… they need your kind words and support. Then donate to them on their campaign link. With this you've gained their friendship, because as capable and skilled someone may be, the war still has impact on them and their income." 🔴How do I know this person is in need? -Everybody in Gaza is currently in need, without exception. 90% have lost their homes or a family member, and 80% of companies have lost their income with the war. 🔴To whom should I donate? -Firstly, to anybody who asks you to. They've come to you wanting and you shouldn't abandon them. Secondly, donate to skill-building and improvement efforts, like students and teachers and those who can rebuild. Thirdly, I appreciate the noble work of charity organizations, but please don't put all your faith into them, as they often don't have sufficient backing! 🔴I still don't understand to whom I should be donating! -As I said in the beginning: focus on individuals, and it must be someone you've earned their trust through multiple occasions, to ensure your money reaches those who truly need it. 🔴How do I donate? Does money even reach Gaza? -Yes, dear, money reaches Gaza, and don't listen to anybody who says it doesn't. 🔴Well, how does the money come through? -Donation links through GoFundMe, PayPal, are all ways to send money to us. There is a commission of 25-30%, but in the end we do receive money. In the end, all of us and me foremost are in need of your support now during the war, not after the war. After all I've written I hope there's no more excuses, because we are dying here from starvation, devastation, humiliation, and forsakenness.

Mahmoud is the pillar upon which his family relies. Please don't hesitate to give anything you are able to spare.

GFM || PayPal || Vetting Link

[thetxtdevil]

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ New Years Event ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Firework View

Jay x Reader

synopsis: You were not in the happiest mood after a bad day at work on New Year's Eve. Irritated by Jay, who was dragging you up the stairs of your apartment building, you find out why he wasn't returning any of your calls.

content: NSFW/MDNI, smut, angst if you squint, bf.top.jay, bottom.fem.reader, business worker reader, slight fingering, dick stroking, referencing temperature play, no protection smh, p in v, let me know if I'm forgetting anything :)

word count: 1.8k

devil's note: What's this... I am an Enhypen writer now?!? Happy New Years my demons! I am honored to have collabed with the lovely @jakedustry and @hmusunoo check out their fics of the other members.

Your feet ached going up the many flights of stairs in your work heels. The concrete walls trapped the outside’s cool air in, this part of the building was a stark difference from the cozy warm lighting of the main apartment building. “Jay, why couldn’t we use the elevator?”

“Because the elevator doesn’t go up here.” You huff at his answer. You don’t know where your boyfriend is dragging you or why he was ignoring you all day. Jay stays quiet throughout the climb, leaving you in your thoughts. 

It was New Year's Eve, and you had work. You shouldn’t complain because you had Christmas Eve and Day off, but it wasn’t fair getting out of your warm bed with Jay still sleeping soundly. He looked so peaceful, having no worries about work today or tomorrow, that it made the sting of jealousy rise in your chest. But alas, you shimmied your way into your knee-length skirt and button-up dress shirt, ready to face the business world. 

Not even a few minutes after you clocked in and sitting at your desk you get a text message from Jay, “What time are you coming home today?” You smile thinking he was already missing you and you reply to the planned time you’re supposed to leave. Of course, the universe seems to not be on your side today, Jay never responded, assignment due dates were being changed, and work was piling up. You look at the tiny numbers on the corner of the screen showing ‘4:30 pm’ You groan knowing that it was past your scheduled time to clock out. Your fingers harshly card through your hair, becoming more stressed looking at the piles of papers and the many tabs on your desktop. You were going to be there for a while. If that didn’t stress you enough, your silent boyfriend made it worse. No sign of a reply from the morning, and no sign of checking in. Every once in a while Jay would text you to see if you were well, especially on his days off. He would always find time to get food and eat with you during your break. You don’t expect it every time but you thought it would be different since it was a holiday, but nothing, just a simple “read” notification.

Nicely putting the papers in their designated folders, making sure all documents were saved, and the emails were correct and sent, you rush to log out and turn the desk lamp off leaving you in the cold darkness. Typing a message to Jay on your way out of the building, your heart jumps hearing a “ping” soon after it is sent. Rolling your eyes at the simple, “sounds good,” your overthinking habit flares up, wondering what in the world he was up to. After the decompressing ride to your apartment and the sight of the tall handsome man you call your boyfriend, your anger melted away. However, it wasn’t long until that same anger came back with Jay tugging you up the last few steps showing you the door with red print, “Rooftop Entrance.”

“Jay I’m tired and cold,” you pant as you once again card your fingers in your already messy hair, “I’ve been working all day, and not to mention your ignorance.”

“I know, I know-” Jay tilts his head towards the door hiding his crooked smile. He was not proud that he ignored you, it hurt him desperately, but he had to keep today’s activities a secret. Texting you would for sure make him slip, but he was debating if he should’ve told you since you were working late, and he now had you rushing up all the apartment fire escape stairs. “I have my reasons, but it's outside.”

You furrow your eyebrow, and your aching feet take a few steps toward the door. Looking back at your boyfriend like he was crazy, you turn the handle opening to a warm atmosphere. Your eyes were big, and every single fairy light reflected on your teary orbs. Expecting to be hit with the winter’s brisk cold weather instead you were engulfed by the hot fireplace crackling by cozy patio chairs. Jay wasn’t too far behind you, a content smile was displayed on his chiseled face looking at your reaction to his work. Spinning around the rooftop, grasping every sight of the place, your lips smack as you try to find the words. “Did– did you do this?” You breathlessly get out the words.

Jay scratches the back of his head, “Yeah, I talked to the building’s owner about it and he said he’s been wanting to do something with the empty place, so that’s how I got permission to do this.” His hand releases his nervous scratch when he sees you walking towards him. You bring Jay into a big hug. He asks, “Do you like it, honey?”

“I love it,” you lift your head to look into his chocolate eyes, “but I don’t like you ignoring me.”

Jay frowns, “I’m sorry, I just wanted this to be a surprise and-” Your lips crash into his, shutting up his unnecessary ramble. Jay quickly accepts his fate and lets his words be forgotten as he deepens the kiss. 

His hands latch onto your waist massaging your tired muscles. You moan into his mouth, instantly relaxing into his arms. At that moment you knew there was nothing to be worried about with your boyfriend, thankful that you have him here in each other's arms. Then you feel his grasp inch lower to your ass and squeeze the plushness. His kisses drift from your lips to your jawline, down to your neck. Tilting your head back to give him more room to explore, you hum at the light kisses and love bites he leaves. Jay’s exploring hands loosen your tucked-in shirt making you shiver at a gust of wind flowing up your torso. Then he tugs at your skirt, bunching it up so that your panties are the only thing covering your cunt. You’re quick to hold his arms, stopping his movements, “Wha-what are you, we can’t do that here!”

Jay groans, his pleading eyes made you want to give him the world, not to mention the hard-on poking you. “No one knows about the rooftop. You didn’t.”

You bite your lip, glancing at the bland entry door and then at the cozy patio set up Jay built. Weighing your options you whip your head back to the man, “Fuck it, and fuck me.”

The biggest smirk spreads on your boyfriend's lips, a screech leaves your lips when all of a sudden Jay picks you up. Both of you giggle as you cling to him, you forget how strong your boyfriend is even though you remind him how big his muscles are. Plopped down on the couch cushion you take the moment to observe your surroundings. Above you was Jay with darkened eyes, something you’ve seen plenty of times yet it still makes your stomach do summersaults. “Was this your plan all along?”

He kisses your lips while unbuttoning your top, “I wanted a nice place to celebrate New Year's,” he says in between kisses down the valley of your breasts, “but you’re always so tempting.”

Lifting your body to help Jay unclothe you, you unbutton his top as he unhooks your bra resulting in a relaxed sigh. Garments being thrown without a care as to where they land, his lips find your perky nipple fueling the fire inside you. You instinctively close your thighs only to be stopped by Jay’s broad body in between them. Grinding against his clothed hard-on, all you could do was moan mindlessly under the man’s body.

Jay’s hand wanders down in between your thighs rubbing your cotton panties, playing with the lacey hem. “Mmm, don’t tease.” You whine becoming more desperate bucking your hips up.

His fingertips follow the lining hooking the material before dipping his middle finger within your folds, “Shit, baby, you’re wet.” Heat creeps on your face, and a cool gust streamlines between your bodies, causing your nipples to perk up and your cunt to ache. Jay straightens his posture and releases his fingers. You whimper, admiring his honey-skinned torso as he licks his fingers of arousal clean. The crisp air of the night makes your whole body shiver as he nicely tugs your panties off. The half-naked man leans down lips coming together like a puzzle piece passionately kissing. Your hand then drifts down his lightly toned abs before unzipping his trousers, grasping his hard cock. A shaking gasp spilled into your mouth signaling you to continue your actions, lightly stroking his veiny shaft and thumbing his pink tip.

“Baby, baby,” he sighs, his big hand stopping your smaller one around his dick.

“Aw- always so sensitive,” you smile at his face, a light layer of sweat glowing from the fairy lights above.

“Maybe this new year I will do better.”

You smile, “sounds like a lot of fucking,” Jay holds back a giggle to your statement, lining his tip at your gushing hole, slowly pushing in. Soft sounds disappear into the atmosphere, slightly wincing at the stretch from his thickness. He admires your contorted face, already looking fucked out as he dives deeper filling you up. Then Jay finds that spot that has your mouth gapped and fingernails digging into his biceps. Jay wants to follow apart at the feeling of your pulsating walls but you feel, look too good to end it so soon. The man above you speeds up his thrusts making sure he hits your G-spot every time. Melody of moans escapes your lips as your lower belly tightens in pleasure. Each drag of Jay’s cock had you wanting more, you lift your hips trying to match his rhythm. However, Jay wanted you just to relax and take it. Lifting your legs over his shoulders, the new position felt deeper, more addicting. Jay starts pounding into you like an animal, watching you lose it, tits bouncing, head tilting back, eyes rolled to the back of your head. It was beautiful to him, making it more beautiful as he decorated your skin with his love bites. You lift your hand to the nape of his neck, combing your fingers through his dark strands while your other hand slips down to your swollen clit, rubbing it hard to reach your climax. “I-ah, I’m close,” you sigh with ecstasy, Jay nods his head in agreement, releasing his harsh grip on your thigh and replacing your hand on your sensitive button with his.

The dark blue sky was now blinded by white as you came around your boyfriend's cock, soon feeling him painting your walls white. Jay collapses on you, kissing your neck calming you both from your highs. Everything was peaceful until your heart felt like it jumped out of your chest hearing a loud crack, opening your eyes, past the warm lights you see colorful twinkling sparks shoot into the night sky. Jay lifts his head watching the fireworks with you, amongst the booming sparks, distant cheers are heard all around you. Looking at your Jay’s phone on the coffee table it shows 00:00.

“Happy New Year, Honey”

Yours Cruelly,

Enhypen's Lucifer

taglist: @izzyy-stuff, @biteyoubiteme, @inkigayocamman, @naoristerling

[joeyfranchise]

all tangled up in the moon

justin herbert x fem!reader

summary: you finally began feeling open to dating in your new home of sunny la, especially since your best friend didn’t love you back the way you loved him… unless he did? a telling double date begins unraveling feelings that you didn’t know were shared…

warnings: pining/mutual pining. expressions of feelings. a LOT of fluff. explicit sexual content, MDNI. 18+ only.

word count: 6.3k.

note: my first ever justin fic!! based on so many ideas from my bestie @joeyburrrow, also happy belated birthday btw 🫂 i’m sorry i didn’t get it posted yesterday! but, she and i have talked about so much of this and this fic truly is for her. ALSO— FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS FIC ONLY— i made justin allergic to walnuts. idk if he is or not, but it’ll make sense when you get there. i hope you like this. love you all. 💗

the dating pool in los angeles was nothing short of horrible.

sure, there were tons of people, which meant tons of options… but that also lead to some problems. there was so much diversity around, which again, is great… but it often led to mismatched partners and having trouble finding someone with all of the same interests or morals or values as you.

that being said, while messing around on dating apps, you found yourself a date that ticked more of your boxes than anyone else had since you moved to the sunny city.

his name was damon, and he worked at a law firm that wasn’t too far from your own nine-to-five job. his profile said he was 6’2, in his pictures he displayed a beautiful smile, and his interests were similar enough to yours that you figured why not give it a chance?

when you swiped right he’d messaged you nearly immediately, which could’ve been a red flag, but he kept it sweet and professional. his personality shined through his messages and you found yourself genuinely laughing at some of his jokes, and that was always a good sign.

you ran into one little problem though. you didn’t really know anyone else in l.a. except for your best friend, therefore you didn’t have many people to trust. sure, you had coworkers and acquaintances in the office, but none of them were around you enough to be able to vet through suitors from your dating life to let you know who would work and who wouldn’t.

you were also afraid to go out with someone new alone, and you blamed that on being an introvert. you ultimately made the decision that either damon would have to be okay with your first date being a double date, or you just wouldn’t go. when damon agreed it was fine, you called justin worriedly - this was going to be the hard part.

he picked up after two rings.

“is this the krusty krab?” you asked teasingly, smiling as you heard him huff out a brief laugh. he lowered his voice before answering.

“no, this is patrick.”

“yeah, justin patrick,” you teased, “unless i called the wrong brother.” you chewed on your bottom lip as you heard him chuckle again.

“that’s my name! don’t wear it out.” he joked. you could practically see the dumb grin already etched across his face. you remained silent for a moment, the weight of the question weighing on you. when you didn’t respond, justin took the lead of the conversation again.

“hey, y/n? you okay? not that i mind you calling me, of course i don’t mind… but did you need something? is everything alright?” you appreciated his ability to talk you down in moments like this, it was like he could sense your nerves even from miles away, and over a phone call.

“i’m okay. but i have a tiny favor to ask. you know you’re my most favorite best friend in the wholeee world, right?” you laughed, trying to push past the anxiety of the question you needed to ask him. “i do. what’s the favor?”

“i have a date friday night and i’ve never met him before. i didn’t know anyone else to ask and.. i was hoping maybe you and chloe could come along? like a double date?”

justin and chloe had started seeing each other recently, and you liked her enough not to really worry about their relationship. sure, she was living your dream being with justin, but you practically knew he didn’t feel the same about you. while you were completely and utterly in love with him, he still saw you as his best friend, and you had learned to accept it.

when you first met chloe you knew she wasn’t his type, she was completely different from justin… but he seemed happy, and that’s all you ever wanted for him. she was excited to meet you too, and in the few times you’d seen her since she was always genuine and kind.

“i think we can make that work, i should be out of practice in time. i’ll let chloe know and then we can figure out where to go. there’s a new restaurant downtown she and i went to a few weeks ago, you’d love it. they have really good raspberry cheesecake!” he said.

“oooh my favorite!” you cheered, already daydreaming of the delicious confection.

“i know.” he agreed. you smiled on the other end of the line, the way he knew you from cover to cover made your heart ache. you only hoped damon - and if not him, then whoever was destined for you - could be such a wonderful lover to you. someone who truly cared to learn everything there was to know about you, just like you and justin did with each other, even if only as friends.

you and justin talked for a bit longer over menial things before you ended the call, bidding him a goodnight. you made sure to text damon about your plans, letting him know you’d get back to him about a time as soon as you could.

he was excited for your date, and also excited to meet justin. you learned damon was a big fan of sports, and even though he wasn’t a chargers fan, he still really liked justin and thought he was a great player. he didn’t believe you when you first told him justin was your best friend, you had to provide him with photo evidence. the whole ordeal made you laugh. after chatting briefly with damon you put your phone on your bedside table before rolling over and getting cozy under your blankets.

you went to bed with a smile on your face that night, excited for your date with damon and also excited for him to meet your best friend.

꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧

you sailed through the week on a high, and when friday night came you were still feeling ecstatic. you were still a little anxious about going out and meeting damon in person for the first time, but getting to know him through the week had helped you warm up a little and let your guard down.

you decided on wearing a simple black dress, classy yet not too-fancy. you curled your hair and applied a light layer of makeup before slipping on a pair of strappy black heels.

you planned on meeting justin and chloe at the restaurant at seven, giving everyone enough time to get ready and allowing justin to shower and freshen up after practice.

damon picked you up at six-thirty. he met you at your door with flowers which you graciously accepted, and you excused yourself to bring them inside and put them in water before locking up and going with damon to his car.

he opened your door for you and you slid in, buckling your seatbelt as you waited for him to get in and start the engine. it was a bit chilly out and you were grateful when damon turned up the heat before backing out of your driveway and heading to the restaurant.

you chatted with him on the drive and it was pretty pleasant, you were thankful that the conversation between you both flowed easily. you learned that his favorite football team was the los angeles rams, and you joked with him that he’d need to let you out of the car immediately because you wouldn’t stand for that nonsense.

he laughed heartily at your joke. he talked to you more about his job, you learned he was a paralegal and that he’d been in the profession for nearly four years. you told him about your experience working in human resources and you related over shared experiences.

when you arrived to the restaurant damon parked and came around to open your door, and you were quickly met by justin and chloe. damon and justin shook hands and introduced themselves to each other as you greeted chloe.

“i love your dress!” she smiled, you thanked her. “you look incredible too, chloe!”

she wore a light blue dress that came down mid-thigh and had long sleeves. she wore black heels as well, and you loved the glittery eyeshadow she had put on.

the four of you walked into the restaurant and justin spoke to the host about reservations he had so graciously called in - which you thanked him immensely for. the host led your party to a table toward the back of the restaurant and you all sat. damon made sure to pull out your chair, and justin did the same for chloe.

the waitress came by shortly after for your drink orders, you and justin both got water. chloe ordered a riesling and damon ordered a cabernet, which you found amusing. you didn’t say anything about it, though.

the waitress brought your drinks quickly and she also brought a basket of bread for the table, with little cups of cinnamon butter. you indulged in one as you listened to justin and damon begin chatting about football.

you and chloe began to chime in at times, and the atmosphere was nice. you and damon also engaged in your own quiet conversation every now and then, and you were starting to like it every time he’d flash you his award winning smile… until justin would smile at you from across the table. in those moments, you knew who your heart truly belonged to.

a few times during dinner the conversations would ebb off, or the input from chloe and damon would stop, leaving only you and justin talking to each other.

the waitress brought your food and you all began dining, while still chatting here and there about work and sports and things of that nature. the waitress came back around a bit later to take plates and your dessert orders. the men continued to talk while you and chloe ordered, with you asking for cheesecake and chloe ordering a fudgy brownie.

something damon said reminded justin of something he needed to tell you, and he turned his attention toward you quickly.

“y/n, i was meaning to tell you that my uncle had some students interested in trying to make a car run on vegetable oil.” you laughed at his statement before giving your input.

“so what, they want to install a second fuel tank i’m assuming? so the vehicle can run on diesel til it’s hot enough and then they’ll switch to the oil?” you ask. “yeah exactly. i thought it sounded pretty cool.” justin smiles. “sounds like a waste of time to me.” you say amusedly. justin tilts his head and gives you a questioning glance.

“it’s totally not a waste of time. if they can figure out how to do it, it’ll be pretty sick.” he disagrees. damon glances between you before chiming in. “i think it’d be pretty cool too!” he agrees with justin.

“do you know how many times they’d have to filter the oil before they could even use it? and they’d have to make sure to install a solenoid valve to switch between two fuel tanks. too much work.” you say, crossing your arms and looking back and forth between both men. chloe says nothing, you assume she has no idea what any of you are talking about.

you noticed damon checking the time on his phone before sliding it back into his pocket and rejoining your conversation, but mostly listening to you and justin bicker.

“it totally reminded me of that 70s show though, you know? when hyde says ‘there’s this car…. and it runs on water, man!’” justin laughs, doing a pretty decent impression of the character.

“i just feel like making modifications to your car so it could run off vegetable oil is a waste of time.” you say, leaning back slightly in your chair. justin’s girlfriend looks between the two of you with an odd look on her face, only breaking focus when she sees the waitress approaching again.

“here’s the double chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream,” she says, placing the plate in front of chloe, “and here are the slices of raspberry cheesecake.”

she places the plate in front of you and damon is quick to grab it, sliding his piece of cheesecake onto one of the extra serving plates. chloe picks her fork up excitedly, slicing into the brownie and taking a small bite. her eyes roll as she tastes it, the richness of the chocolate has to be delectable. you watch as she cuts another small bite, this time more toward the center of the brownie where you can see it has small pieces of walnut in it.

she reaches over to cup justin’s jaw, squeezing a bit to get him to open his mouth so she can feed it to him. you ignore the slightly jealous feeling bubbling in your stomach as she brings it closer to his mouth, but you can’t get your words out. justin looks at her with a puzzled expression. he hadn’t been paying attention to her or what she ordered, so he has no idea what she’s about to feed him.

as if on instinct, your hand shot across the table and closed around her wrist, stopping her from feeding him. “s-sorry.. uh, justin is allergic to walnuts.” you say, lowering your gaze so you don’t make eye contact with her. she lets go of his jaw and he shrugs sheepishly.

“sorry baby.” she tells him, eating the bite for herself. “it’s okay.” justin replies. his eyes find yours for a fleeting moment, nervous energy is shared between you. damon watches the entire ordeal silently, passing glances between the three of you as he eats his dessert.

you pick up your fork and take a bite too, and the tartness of the raspberry dances across your tongue in a pleasant way. justin was right with his recommendation, this restaurant truly is amazing. damon and justin begin conversing again, and you stay quiet as you eat, listening attentively.

chloe chimes in a few times, earning laughs from both men with her unintentional humor. you slide the last bite of cheesecake on your fork and bring it to your lips, ready to enjoy it, when suddenly your fork is plucked from your hand. you look up to find justin eating the last bite straight off of your fork. yours.

while you’re on a double date. with other people.

your gaze quickly flips from justin to chloe and then to damon as you try to gauge their expressions. damon doesn’t seem to notice or care as he continues talking about football, and justin nods along with what damon is saying as if this ordeal was the most normal thing that has ever happened.

sure, you and justin are close enough to eat off each others forks and sometimes even drink from the same cup or can, but the fact that he did it on a double date baffled you. neither of the men at the table seemed to be giving it a second thought, but when your gaze shifts to chloe you can tell she’s perturbed in some way. her eyes are slightly squinted as she looks you up and and down, and then her gaze shifts to justin as she does the same to him.

you continue to sit quietly at the table, listening to the men talk. chloe stays quiet, too. the tension between the two of you feels almost palpable.

you would never want to come between her and justin, even if you did have feelings for him throughout all these years.

the rest of the time spent in the restaurant went by in a blur. eventually damon and justin stopped talking, realizing that you and chloe hadn’t shared a word, and they mutually decided that dinner should be over.

damon and justin split the checks and pay before each of you stand from the table to leave. when you make it outside you suck in a deep breath of the fresh air, you’ve felt like you were suffocating for the last fifteen minutes. all of you say goodbye to each other before you get into damon’s car, and chloe into justin’s.

the drive back to your house is quiet. you’re anxious, your throat feels tight and you know your cheeks must be incredibly pink. damon hasn’t even glanced at you and you’re afraid to say a word because if you do you’ll start crying.

he finally pulls into your drive and parks the car before looking at you for the first time since you left the restaurant. you wring your hands together before looking back at him, expecting the worst.

“that was fun, justin is a really nice guy.” his voice is genuine as he speaks to you, but you’re prepared for where this is going. “he loves you, y/n.”

you look at him with bewilderment as he continues speaking. you want to say something, but he holds up a finger to tell you to wait. “before you start with the whole ‘he doesn’t feel that way about me’ spiel, he does. i saw how you looked at each other all night. he doesn’t look at her like that.”

tears are pricking at the corners of your eyes as he speaks, and you turn your gaze from his so he won’t see. “you love each other, y/n. it’s okay. i had fun, i’m glad i met you.” he says, reaching over the console to grab your hand. he gives it a gentle squeeze and you look back up at him as he smiles at you. “i would like to be your friend, if that’s okay.”

“yeah, we can stay friends, of course.” you tell him. he lets go of your hand and gets out of the car, circling around to get your door and walk you up the front steps. before you can walk up damon pulls you in for a hug, which you reluctantly accept.

“it was nice meeting and going out with you, y/n. don’t be a stranger!” he says, and then he lets you go and gets back into his car, driving off down the street.

you let yourself in the house and lock the door behind you before collapsing on the couch. you don’t have the energy to move, to take off your shoes, or to even be worried about your makeup.

you just sit there, and you cry. you cry for all the lost time, if it is true and he does love you. and if damon’s wrong, and you do take the time to tell justin how you feel and he rejects you… well, you should go ahead and cry for that too. you cry for the only boy you’ve ever loved.

꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧

justin buckles his seatbelt and holds his foot down on the brake before backing out of his parking spot at the restaurant, ready to get home and into more comfortable clothing. chloe sits beside him silent, like she did for most of the dinner.

he spares a glance her way and notices her posture is rigid, her lips are pressed into a tight, thin line. justin reaches over to grasp her hand but she flinches away from his touch.

“are you okay?” he asks her, his tone concerned. “i’m okay. can you take me to my house, please?” she asks. her voice sounds small, she sounds upset.

“of course.” justin agrees. they hadn’t been dating long enough to make the steps to move in together, but chloe frequented his house often as long as he was home. he thought it was a bit strange that she wanted to go home, but he waited to question it.

when he pulled in her driveway and parked she was quick to jump out of the car and make her way inside. justin turned the car off and pocketed the keys before following chloe inside.

“um, is everything okay?” he asked, stepping into the living room. “no. we need to talk.” chloe said, sitting down on the couch. justin sat next to her and place a reassuring hand on her knee as he waited for her to speak.

“i think we should break up.”

justin is taken aback by her confession, but he doesn’t speak. he waits to hear her out. “i really like you, justin. and i think you like me. but you don’t love me. and you never will, because you love someone else.”

“what?” he asks, his tone incredulous. “you love y/n, justin. you know it, i know it, everyone on the planet knows it… except for her. i think you’re both idiots.” chloe smiles softly.

justin looks around the room nervously, waiting for chloe to speak again. “you’re both idiots because what you’ve been looking for has been in front of you the whole time. it was obvious you two should have been on a date. you both carried the conversation, you were doing silly impressions to make her laugh… you look at her like she’s your most prized possession, justin.”

he takes a deep breath before looking at chloe and finally speaking. “i’m sorry.” is all he’s able to mutter out.

“you don’t need to apologize. i’ll admit, i was upset at first. but on the drive i thought about it, and i just want you to be happy. and i figured someone needed to tell you that girl loves you, because if the two of you have been friends this long and you haven’t figured it out, i’m afraid you never will.” she laughs. “and god, i didn’t even know you were allergic to walnuts.”

justin laughs too before reaching over and pulling chloe into him for a hug. “thank you for telling me all that… and i am sorry. i really am.”

“it’s okay, justin. just get the girl, okay?” she says, shooing him out the door. he waves goodbye before walking off to his car and heading home.

when he arrives home he sits in the driveway pondering… did you really love him back? and if you have, how long? and what was he going to do?

he thinks of all the time he’s lost out on if it’s true, and you do love him back. he’d supressed the feelings for as long as he could remember because he never knew he had a chance - he never thought he’d be the one for you. and if he wasn’t he knew it’d break him, but all he wanted was your happiness.

all he knew right now was that he loved you, that you were the only girl he’d ever loved.

꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧

you don’t talk to justin for a week.

you’re afraid to. usually, he’s the first person you run to about anything, but since the subject matter is him, you feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. you spend the entire week sad, crying into your coffee or whatever dinner you’ve chosen to eat after work (usually cereal), and watching lifetime movies that are guaranteed to make you feel worse - they make the longing in your chest burn.

justin finally texts you on friday night, and you’re afraid to open it. you let it sit unread for half an hour before your phone starts ringing on the end table. it’s justin, you know it is, but you’re afraid to answer. you pick up your phone slowly and slide your thumb across the screen to answer the call.

“hello?” you sniffle, picking up a tissue to wipe your nose. “hey y/n, you okay?” justin asks.

“yeah, lifetime movie, sorry. what’s up?”

“just wanted to see if you wanna come over and hangout? i haven’t heard from you all week, i miss you.” he says. you miss him too. but are you ready to see him after what happened?

against your better judgment, you agree to go over. after all, he is your best friend. if anyone can get you feeling better, it’s justin. you hang up the call and slide on your slippers before grabbing your keys and phone and heading over to his house.

you didn’t bother changing, you didn’t care what you looked like in front of him. he’d seen you sick as a dog before, he even held your hair when you puked a few times, so he could handle seeing you in an old ratty tshirt and sweatpants that were a few sizes too big.

there’s also no way he could ever judge you for having greasy hair.

you make the quick drive to his place and you almost panic and leave before calming yourself down and walking to the front door. it’s just justin. this is no big deal.

you knock twice but you know he already knows you’re there, and he swings the door open quickly before pulling you into a tight hug. physical affection is something you both enjoy, and you’ve missed him. you wrap your arms tightly around him and squeeze back.

justin laughs as he looks down at you. “sometimes i forget how small you are.”

“or maybe you’re sasquatch.” you say, giving him a shove. he lets go and steps aside so you can get in the door, and you waste no time in sliding your slippers off plopping down on his couch. you notice his house seems a little… different, but you can’t put your finger on it.

justin closes the door and makes his way over to you, acting like he’s going to sit on your lap. “don’t even think about it.” you tell him, bringing your legs up to your chest. he sits next to you and leans into your side.

“how was your week?” he asks you innocently. “it was horrible.” you reply. you share the most miniscule details with him when he tries pressing you further, because you’re too afraid to tell him what’s really wrong. justin listens intently either way, hoping to find something he can do to make you feel better.

“well how’s it been with damon?” he finally asks, and you freeze. justin moves so he can lay his head on your lap, and he straightens out your legs before doing so. your hand naturally finds its way into his hair, your nails raking along his scalp soothingly. he shudders.

“damon um… well. he didn’t wanna go on another date. it wasn’t because he didn’t like me, though. he just said… he could tell u didn’t like him.”

justin hums softly. “interesting.” he says.

“what’s interesting?” you ask him. “chloe broke up with me.”

“WHAT?” you shout, startling him a bit. “sorry… i mean, what? why? i thought you guys really liked each other?”

“well, she liked me a lot. and i liked her but… i don’t love her. she really helped me realize a lot of feelings i had that i’d been holding back.” he turns his head to look up at you and smiles and - oh. oh.

the look he’s giving you seems to be full of pure adoration, pure love. and you realize that he always looks at you like this.

tears start to form in your eyes again and justin sits up, this time pulling you into his lap. “you okay?” he asks, soothingly rubbing his hand over your back.

that’s why it seemed different - all her stuff was gone.

“i don’t know. what’s happening here?” you ask him, burying your face in his neck. “chloe helped me realize that i love you, y/n. i always knew it, deep down. but… i don’t know. i never really thought you felt the same.”

“damon said the same to me. that he could, um, tell we loved each other. are we just stupid?” you ask him, pulling away from his neck to look in his eyes.

“apparently two idiots in love.” he says. his hand finds the back of your hair and smooths over it softly before he pulls you into his neck again, crushing you in another hug.

“so where do we go from here?” you ask, enjoying his embrace. “i guess forward.” he jokes, poking at your sides. “together, of course, if you want that. as a couple.”

you can’t help the giddy feeling bubbling up inside you as he speaks. of course you want that, it’s all you’ve ever wanted. “i love you, justin.” you finally say, and being able to tell him to his face is like a dream come true. “i love you back.” he says softly. you meet his gaze once again and he looks nervous, but you aren’t sure why.

“what’s wrong?” you ask him sweetly. you softly touch his cheek, smoothing over it with your thumb. he doesn’t say another word, but he leans in and kisses you.

you feel dizzy, your heart is pounding incredibly hard against your chest. justin is over the moon too. your lips begin moving in sync, neither of you able to catch a decent breath as you devour each other hungrily. justin's hands find your waist and he pulls you into him further, and your arms circle around his neck.

he pulls away for a second before jumping right back in, awkwardly bumping his nose against yours. you both laugh before kissing again. this is truly what euphoria feels like. you don’t know how long you both sit there taking each other apart, whether it’s minutes, hours or days.

what matters is it’s happening. finally.

your hands trail down his biceps as he continues kissing you, leaving a trail from the corner of your mouth down to the exposed column of your throat. your breath hitches when his lips meet one of your most sensitive spots, right where your neck meets your shoulder. “you okay?” he says, sounding concerned.

“i’m nervous.” you whisper. his gaze is soft as he looks at you, half smile spreading across his face. “it’s okay,” he whispers back, “we don’t have to take this any further until you’re ready.”

you hug him again and kiss his cheek softly. “i want to. i’m just nervous.”

“there’s no reason to be afraid.” he assures you. “do you wanna…” he starts, cocking his head to the side and motioning toward the direction of his bedroom. you nod a simple yes.

he stands with you and leads you down the hall to his room, although you know very well where it is. you’ve spent countless nights here cuddled up with him.

he twists the knob slowly and pushes the door open before guiding you inside, and meeting your lips with his again. the kiss is soft and gentle, and he walks you back toward his bed without breaking contact. once you’ve reached the side of the bed he pulls away and reaches behind himself with one arm, grabbing his shirt and yanking it over his head in one swift motion.

uou hop up onto his bed and get cozy against the pillows as he crawls onto the bed too, leaning over you. you rake your nails over the planes of his chest as he presses a kiss to your forehead. his fingertips find the hem of your sweater and his gaze meets yours, waiting for your approval. you nod, and he slides both hands under it before lifting it over your head.

you’re wearing a simple white bra, but justin is looking at you like you’ve just descended down from heaven. you know he won’t ask you to take it off so you let what little bit of confidence you have flowing through your veins take over, and you quickly reach behind you to unclasp it.

justin sucks in a deep breath at the sight of you. you’re easily the most breathtaking woman he’s ever seen in his life, you have been since he first laid eyes on you… but seeing you like this… he feels like he’s died and made it to the afterlife.

you don’t hide your gawking either, his toned body has always been something you’ve enjoyed staring at whether he noticed it or not. “you’re so beautiful,” justin tells you, leaning in to capture your lips again. as he crawls over your body you can feel his length through his sweatpants, it lays hard and heavy over your leg. you shudder at the thought of it.

justin’s hands slide up your torso and he caresses your breasts softly before tweaking both of your nipples with his thumbs and forefingers. you arch upward into him and your body is covered in gooseflesh as you await his touch again.

you’ve never felt such pleasure and satisfaction in your life, and he’s only barely started. you’re sure that you’ve soaked through your panties and sweatpants at this point. he continues to grab at your chest as he kisses you and you moan out his name softly, causing him to rut against your leg. he needs you just as much as you need him, you can tell.

“justin, i’m ready. i want you.” you tell him, breaking away from his kiss to look into his eyes. he smiles down at you and raises his eyebrow, making sure one more time. “i’m ready.” you promise him. his hands grab the waistband of your sweatpants before pulling them down your legs quickly, along with your panties.

he pulls his off next and your mouth falls open, gawking at the sight in front of you. sure… justin was 6’6, everything about him was big… but holy shit. he is huge.

he smiles at you nervously before reassuring you, “it’ll be okay, i won’t hurt you. i swear.” you almost think you could faint at how cute and sexy he his. you tell him you don’t need any prep but he won’t allow it, and he uses the pad of his thumb to circle your clit quickly as he enters two fingers into you to work you open.

after a few minutes you’re ready, you can’t take anymore and you’re practically begging him to fuck you. he blushes at the sound of your moans, but his chest fills with pride knowing he’s making you feel so good. he pulls his fingers from your soaking heat slowly before wrapping his hand around his cock and giving it a few strokes. you let him situate your body how he needs to and he ends up with your ankles right at his shoulders as he prepares to push into you.

he’s lucky you’re flexible. his lips find yours again as he pushes in and your thankful because his kisses swallow your gasps. he moves slowly, inch by inch until he’s fully seated, and he waits a few minutes before moving so he doesn’t hurt you. when he finally pulls out and pushes back in, he moans loudly at how amazing you feel around him. you moan too, you’ve never felt so full in your life - and you’ve never felt so fulfilled either.

he moves to kiss you again and bumps his nose against yours again sweetly as his hands find yours and he tangles your fingers together. his movements are calculated, slow and methodical as he takes you apart, and unravels you in the very best way.

the room is filled with soft moans and labored breaths and the sounds of you kissing each other anywhere your lips can find. it doesn’t take long for you to reach your peak and tears prick at your eyes when you do. this is all you’ve ever wanted, and it’s beautiful, it’s magical. justin feels the same.

you warn him that you’re close and he tells you it’s okay, you can let go for him. “cum for me, it’s okay. i love you, y/n.” and that’s all it takes. his admission of love knocks you straight over the edge and into the thrashing waters, your orgasm taking over your whole body. he cums soon after, his body enjoying the feeling of you squeezing him as he rides out his high.

when he pulls out of you he stand quickly, running off to his bathroom to grab a warm wet towel to clean you both up. he didn’t bother asking if you were on the pill, he already knows every aspect of your life anyway.

justin cleans all your sensitive areas with the warm rag before wiping himself off and sliding back into bed with you, pulling the covers over your bodies.

“that was amazing.” you admit.

“yeah it was. you know how long we could’ve been doing that?” he laughs, and you giggle too. “i love you.” you tell him. “i love you too, so much. can i tell you something stupidly embarrassing, though?” he asks, and you roll over to face him. “oh god, what justin?”

“remember after we graduated, right after you turned eighteen and we had that pool party?”

“yeah, i remember.” you say. it was one of your fondest memories, actually. “that little yellow bikini you wore… i just thought i should admit to you now that i thought about you in that so much when i was jerking it that i thought my dick would fall off.”

both of you erupt in laughter, the admission funny and embarrassing, although endearing too. “that’s okay, remember right before we went to college and you were teaching me how to drive but you kept getting frustrated and yelling at me? i thought that was the hottest i’d ever seen you.” you say. he pulls you into his chest and kisses you softly.

“you’re getting me all worked up again, baby,” he laughs, kissing at your cheek toward your ear. “looks like we’re gonna have to go for round two.”

- - -

taglist: @slimshiesty @joeyburrrow @starsinthesky5 @joeyb1989

photos and dividers used are not mine, all cred to owners.

[angelixxsweetheart]

how about Jinx getting aroused while reader is at work? like, what could get her to such state and how she'd deal with it?

i love that one!! happy new year to everyone btw!!

I cant do it without you - Jinx x fem!reader

NSFW AHEAD

men and minors dni (wlw friendly space)

warnings: mentions of strap on, teasing with nude picture, horny!jinx, masturbation, getting caught while doing so, sub!jinx

Jinx didnt know what was worse for her. The fact that you had to work in The Last Drop and the two of you will be separated for the next few hours. Or the fact that you had absolutely and successfully riled the poor woman up. She just woke up a few minutes ago, shortly after you left for your shift in the bar and of course you would never go anywhere without telling Jinx. Going shopping? She comes with you or you leave a little message. Taking a walk to get your head free? Another note with reassuring words that the woman with long braided hair was not the reason why you were feeling so worned out. You always told her where you went and mostly she tagged along.

But especially in the rare times where your girlfriend actually managed to get a good night rest despite her reoccurring nightmares or working through the whole night. In those cases you barely dared to wake her up, not wanting to disturb the light snores and relaxed figure resting underneath the quilts while you were quietly getting ready for work. And this was just one of those mornings.

Getting quietly out of bed to not disturb her even if it only was a matter of time before she would wake up, the poor girl cant sleep without you by her side. You got ready with as few noises as you could while also writing a little note to announce your disappearance to your lover but also mentioning that you will be back in the next few hours.

And here Jinx was, looking down at her workbench with wide eyes. There wasnt just a sweet note saying 'Hey angel, Im at work now and I'll probably be back in a few hours. I love you so much and please remember to eat breakfast' with a stain of your lips in a kiss. But also a picture attached. Not just any picture. Jinxs jaw almost dropped at the sight of you holding up your shirt to expose your breasts to the camera, a sweet smile on the lips she loved to kiss while she could feel the heat immediately rushing in her lower stomach.

You couldnt have just left her like that, with your tits exposed for her eyes only when she knew you would only be back in the next few hours. And she couldnt even touch herself for relief. Ever since you were the person to make her cum and touch her where no one else was ever able to, she hadnt been able to get off with her own hands. It was pathetic, but she just couldnt make it without you.

So here she had been for god knows how long, sitting on your shared bed with her leg bouncing to somehow distract herself from the aching wetness between her thighs as her pink and shining eyes stared down onto the picture in her pale hands. She could only focus on it, she had already blended everything out, especially your sweet reminder for her to eat breakfast.

At the sight of your perky and perfect tits, she could only reminscine about the times she had let her tongue run over the nub, or pulling and kneading the flesh from behind as she pounded into your poor and already sensitive pussy from all the orgasm with her purple strap. She wanted nothing more than to recreate that moment right now, to feel you cum all around it, to see you ride her strap while she was too busy with eating up your figure with her eyes.

She was extremely horny and restless now, but there was nothing she could do to relieve herself. It would only make it worse, but she cant do it without you. Yet somehow, she had to fight against the throbbing of her pussy and the urge to just run into the bar and drag you from the counter home only to merciless fuck you dumb and pretty.

She let out a shaky sigh and closed her eyes, the picture of your beautiful and exposed tits was already burned into the back of her mind as she imagined the countless times she made you easily unfold, either with her hands, her tongue or her strap. Or maybe one or two toys she had made herself. You riding on her silicone cock while she guided your movements with raspy praises leaving her dark lips, you clenching and cumming all over her fingers. It made her mind run and did not ease the wetness. Of course she had to take care of herself, or atleast try as good as possible.

The blue haired woman took another deep and shaky breath, moving her own hand over her small breast, covered by the fabric of your shirt that she had stolen to sleep as she always did. She cupped the flesh with her hand, teasing her sensitive nipple while rubbing her thumb over the fabric. Subconsciously she spread her legs, imagining what it would be like to have you right behind her, muttering praises and touching her the way she did to herself now.

Her other hand put the picture down as she leaned back to lay down on the bed, her now free hand teasingly pushing up the shirt to her stomach and drawing random shapes over her skin. "So needy already? Such a sweet girl for me" You would whisper into her ears. How badly she wanted to feel you instead of herself as her slender fingers slipped underneath the waistband of her shorts, ghosting over her lower stomach and inner thighs before finding her so very wet pussy.

A light gasp escaped her lips at the feeling of her own cold fingertips ghosting over her wet folds. How she wishes it was you. How she imagined it was you right behind her with your hand playing with her sensitive tit while the other teased her cunt. Her other hand lightly squeezed her small breast, running over the nipple with her thumb as her other began to tease her hole.

She opened her glimmering pink eyes and let go off her tit before taking the picture you had left there, while she dipped her fingers into her cunt. Jinx couldnt remember the last time she was so desperate. All she wanted was to feel you instead of her own touch, her mine racing with the praises you would call. As her already wet fingers began to lightly circle her clit, another light groan left her lips. Until she heard the light sound of footsteps over the metallic bridge of her hideout.

Her body jerked up, hand moving out her pants while still coated in her juices as she finally caught you...sneaking up on her? There was no doubt - you had caught her trying to make herself feel good, with the sweet smile on your lips but the flushed cheeks while looking at her. "Am I interrupting?" You asked in a soft tone, just walking up closer until you stood between your girlfriends spread legs. Your smile only widened into a smirk when you caught your 'little surprise' in Jinx hands.

The blue haired felt embarrassed, to say the least. But also she didnt care. You were there, your shift had ended and everything was okay for now. Except for how fucking wet she still was. "No" She responded, tone low and raspy. "You came just right." Her hands wrapped themselves around your waist to pull you closer, almost shoving you into her face as she looked up at you with puppy eyes. "I cant do it without you, toots"

This sucks lowkey but currently I feel like writing domestic fluff with her lol

[youngheejay]

Unusual fights lead to usual love

Where lashing out at your sweet boyfriend wasn’t how you planned your evening but don’t worry - he’ll make it up to you because he can’t stand your tears.

Starring: Jay x fem!reader [established relationship]

—————

You clicked on the contact of your boyfriend. The picture of his profile made you feel a little better before the annoyance and anger started to bubble inside you again.

Why does he have to be so cute?

It truly irked you.

Your eyes skimmed your chat with him. Or more like the messages you sent to him today.

[10:43 am]

< Good morningggg ☀️ >

< have a fun shooting today my love!! ❤️ >

[3:56 pm]

< I’m making dinner for us, so don’t eat with the boys after work ok? >

< feeling really shitty today but I wanted to make you something today ❤️ >

< so that you’ll be energised to give me lots and lots of love and cuddles when you come home hihi >

< Need it so badly jjongie 🥺😞 >

[5:00 pm]

< come home safely >

< love you soooo much ❤️❤️ >

[7:34 pm]

< Babe? >

< Aren’t you coming home today early? You promised me you’ll finish by 5 :( >

[10:01 pm]

< Are you staying at the dorms again tonight? Pls lmk I’m worried. >

That’s the last message you sent to your boyfriend after deciding that you’re not worried anymore and that he can look out for himself.

You sighed, you even called him a few times and you were confused on what to feel.

Usually, when he had a shooting he could spare some time to contact you but today he didn’t.

But lately, Jay had been acting strangely as his messages during work got less and less. He even started to sleep in his dorms because ‘it was easier for his manager to pick them up all together from the same place to go to work the next morning’.

Since you agreed with him it shouldn’t bother you but still, it made you feel weird that he’d rather stay there than at his home with you. He didn’t know that you knew, but two of his fellow members were staying at their own home - that’s what their respective girlfriends told you.

Maybe he found some- before you could even finish the thought you quickly shook your head.

Enough with these thoughts. Work had been hectic lately. And he probably forgot his promise to come early to your shared home.

But it was still weird he didn’t text or call you on a shooting day. Meetings or maybe practices you could understand - it could be difficult to find a moment to be on the phone. But it’s Jay - he’d find a way for you. Usually.

Hmph.

I don’t care anymore. He’s so mean. Every man on this planet informs his woman except for mine. What an idiot.

That’s what you thought until you heard the familiar beeping of your digital door lock.

You hastily stood up from the couch, almost slipping out of your house shoes and before Jay could push the door, you already teared it open, startling your boyfriend in the process.

“Oh, hi. You still up?”

‘Oh, hi?’ - seriously ?! That’s the first thing he said after you were worried so much??

And that’s all it took for you to loose your mind.

„Why didn’t you tell me you’ll be back home so late?!“ you said with furrowed eyebrows. Irritation was shown all over your face.

Well, you didn’t actually mean to sound that harsh but you couldn’t help it!

Today just wasn’t a good day.

You weren’t feeling well the whole day. You had just gotten your period and the pain was unbearable. Your hormones were on a rollercoaster, you cried at the tiniest inconvenience and now, apparently, also couldn’t hold back your anger towards your boyfriend.

You waited for him the whole time. After all, you wanted him to give you some comfort and cuddles but ugh! He had the nerve to come home so late!

You felt aggravated that he couldn’t even inform you.

He stepped into the house, shoving you gently to the side: “I’m sorry, baby. But you know how it is when practice runs late,” he calmly explained as he took of his shoes and jacket.

To be honest, Jay tried his best to keep his cool since he was extremely exhausted and just wanted to sleep, not expecting you to shout at him as soon as he entered your home.

All he wanted was to take a shower and relax with you.

His answer exasperated you, “practice?? You told me you had a shooting today,” you frowned angrily.

“Baby… I had a long day, alright? We had a shooting and practice,” and fucking vocal lessons and recordings and some bullshit meeting, he continued in his head. The exhaustion from todays schedule clouded his mind.

He rolled his neck, his gaze falling on the ground as he tried not to fall asleep on the spot.

“Oh wow! Good to know that I didn’t have any fucking clue where my boyfriend was today!” You attacked right back venomously.

“I just wish you’d be a considerate boyfriend who notifies his girlfriend for once!” You added as you spiralled in your anger, slowly but surely aggravating Jays patience.

Jay looked up from the ground with dark hooded eyes. With confusion written all over his face, he tried to calm you down: “I said I’m sorry, ok? My phone died.”

“Your phone died? Really?” you said with clear doubt in your tone, having trouble to believe him. You stepped closer to him.

Jay scoffed, “what are you implying, y/n?”

“It’s not really believable that your phone was dead the whole day and that you couldn’t borrow a charger from - I don’t know - maybe your six fellow members or really any of the staff you work with.”

“Are you serious now?!” He exclaimed with a slight hurt tone which you didn’t seem to notice. All you could focus on were his angry furrowed eyebrows, indicating to you that he was caught in act.

“Well, maybe if you were a good boyfriend you’d find another way to inform me! Me! Your girlfriend who’s been waiting for you at home!”

Your yelling didn’t stop here as you went on and on:

“I texted you several times! And even tried to call you but it seems like you’re not even interested in trying to contact me somehow!” You exclaimed as the pitch of your voice went higher and higher.

“Y/N…” he rubbed his face in frustration.

Jay had actually a temper himself. But most of the time he tried to be the calm one in your relationship as he knew that you tended to be more emotional driven. Which would also work most of the time - you rarely got into any arguments. He just listened to your rants and always tried his best to adjust to any of your needs. But today you didn’t seem to let go of your attitude as you cut him off.

“What?! I made dinner for us because you told me you’ll be back by 5! I just want to eat dinner with you for once and you tell me your phone was dead?! That’s some lame fucking excuse, Jongseong!”

You put a hand on your hip as you were just getting started to let out everything that bothered you today: “And Ju-gyeong told me that you’re going to Japan next week?? Even Jake could inform his - I don’t even know what they are,“ Jay gave you a confused look, not quite following you as you got sidetracked.

Unfortunately, this only irritated you more: “My point is! Even Jake told Jugyeong about your tour but you couldn’t?!!”

You felt your blood pressure rise, “he even fucking texted her that he’ll come late to their fuck-session,” you didn’t mean to share that but your mouth was working faster than your brain, “and I couldn’t even contact you throughout the entire day! So don’t be surprised that I doubt you!”

And you didn’t stop: “And why did you lie telling me that everyone is staying at the dorms?!!Apparently, Heeseung and Sunghoon sleep at their own houses. So why would you stay at the dorms if not everyone is there? And don’t give me a fucking lame excuse again!!”

You just couldn’t hold yourself back. You were having such a bad mood from your cramps and everything, you just let out your frustration.

Your poor boyfriend had to be the victim since he always made you feel like you could share every little thought and feeling with him - which is a good thing most of the times.

But you didn’t consider that you could be also hurting his feelings by saying things you didn’t even mean. Like the next sentence that accidentally slipped your mouth:

“You know what? You’re actually the worst boyfriend ever!!!”

And that’s when Jay snapped.

“Are you fucking serious, y/n?? I just came home from work and the first thing you do is to fucking yell at me??”

“Well, if you would just talk to me for once you, you-”

Jay cut you off with a loud, anger filled voice: “Enough! Just shut up! You’re giving me a fucking headache!”

The deep and loud bass of his voice made you flinch in response, your eyes widened and your hands started to tremble a little.

You’ve seen your boyfriend angry many times but it was never directed at you. He always talked to you in a calm manner and never snapped at you.

You had to admit, hearing him like this scared you.

But you tried to quickly gather yourself - your own anger dominated your head.

You let out a faux scoff as you tried to cover your fearful reaction: “Me?? Why would I shut up, Jay?! You’re literally-“ Jay cut you off once again.

„Because you’re being really difficult right now, y/n! Quit acting like a child maybe and don’t bother me anymore! For gods sake!“ Jay shouted angrily and walked away heading to the stairs.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him, “where do you think you’re going? We’re not done yet!”

“We’re done, y/n!” He yelled in frustration. “We’re fucking done.” He repeated quietly as if he talked to himself.

But you could still hear him. What does he mean by that? He’s not breaking up with you, is he?

Your world halted for a minute. Why would he break up with you? You just had a little fight over nothing, that’s not a good enough reason to end things, right?

Right?

You took a deep breath. Ok, that escalated. You didn’t mean to get so mad at him. But still, you were hurt. Why didn’t he tell you that he’ll be on tour again next week for three whole months? Why did you had to find it out through someone else?

And you knew that you shouldn’t compare your relationship with others but when you were talking with Ju-gyeong on the phone she suddenly told you that she received a sweet text from Jake informing her that he’ll be late tonight and that she shouldn’t worry about him.

Normally, this wouldn’t faze you at all but after she told you about the tour you were already feeling a little sad. Well maybe not a little, you were crying the whole time after you ended the call.

Did he not care about you enough to tell you important stuff like this? You couldn’t help but let your mind wander off and even questioned Jays loyalty towards you. What if he found someone else?

It honestly wouldn’t surprise you. Not because Jay neglected you - not at all, he was actually the perfect partner you always dreamed of. He was well mannered, looked after you, always treated you with respect, cherished you and made you feel so so loved.

No, it wasn’t him who did something wrong to make you wonder if you even were worthy of his love. It were those stupid stupid comments and post about your idol boyfriend on every platform you scrolled through.

There were so many pretty people who commented about the good looks of your boyfriend and how they hoped that ‘his girlfriend could fight‘ or that ‘his girlfriend is lucky because he’s such a gentleman and sweetheart’.

Well, duh! You knew that! That’s why you’re together with him for more than 3 years!

But what if he also knows that and realises that he deserves someone better than you? What if he leaves you one day for someone who is just as good looking and treats him way better than you do?

So no, it wouldn’t surprise if he did leave you one day but it would - to put it in mild words - crush your world literally. You already felt sick to your stomach when you thought of this possibility.

And of course, you knew you should’ve just talk with him about it. About everything that’s been on your mind lately. The tour, the dorms, the comments.

Your rational side told you to stop being dramatic and to not let these doubts and fears get to your head. But, somewhere deep inside you, you feared that his answer would hurt you tremendously.

But you guess your final straw broke after todays events and you let out all of your frustration which was previously trapped somewhere deeply hidden inside your heart.

You truly didn’t think that this fight would escalate like that and that he’d say something like this.

I fucked up real bad.

You decided to follow Jay and make things clear but when you went upstairs to your bedroom you heard him taking a shower.

Ok, he wouldn’t be taking a shower if he wanted to break up, right?

You let out a deep breath when you noticed tears flowing down your cheeks.

You tried to be level-headed. The fight wasn’t even that serious. Your relationship is way too serious and secure to end it over a silly fight. You tried to calm yourself down.

You sat down on the edge of your bed and closed your eyes in frustration.

God, I’m such an idiot. He’ll definitely leave me because of this.

You sighed, your head hurt, you stomach was cramping - you just wanted to lie down and forget everything. Regret took over your whole body.

I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid.

You covered your face with your hands as your entire body shook from your sobs. You bit your lips as you tried to not make any noises, not wanting to bother him any further.

When you heard that the sound of the water splashing stopped you quickly lied down and shuffled far away from Jays side of the bed. Wiping away your tears, you sniffled quietly as you hid yourself with the blanket and pretended to be asleep.

You held your breath as you heard him rummaging around your room, probably getting dressed for bed. And when you heard the door click you thought he would join you in bed but you were wrong.

The next thing you knew, you heard footsteps on the other side of the door and after a while you heard your front door close.

Did he just leave like that?

You panicked. You quickly stood up and went to your hallway, your eyes searched for his shoes but they were nowhere to be found.

Tears formed in your eyes as you fell down on your knees and started sobbing yet again.

Did your boyfriend of three years just leave you like that? Without even saying anything to you? You couldn’t believe it.

Uneven gasps left your mouth as you couldn’t control your sobs. You knew that this fight was your fault but still! How could he do this to you? You thought he loved you after all.

Why am I so stupid? He clearly had a tough day and I should be the one who gives him comfort and a safe place when he comes home.

No wonder he’d rather stay at the dorms than here, with me.

Your sobs grew louder and louder. After sitting there for about 15 minutes your headache became stronger and you went back to your bed.

You tried to ignore the emptiness of your shared bed by lying yet again far away from his side and by not facing it.

You closed your eyes but your tears didn’t stop. Your mind was racing, thinking about Jay.

Suddenly, you heard the beeping of your doorlock causing you to open your eyes. You froze on the spot as you recognised Jay’s footsteps heading upstairs.

Yet again, you held onto your breath trying to make no noises when he opened your bedroom door. You shut your eyes and listened to his every move actively. When you heard him settling beside you, you couldn’t help but feel the guilt and sadness eat you up.

You could’ve been cuddling with him now. Ugh, this is so stupid but you couldn’t turn around and tell him you’re sorry just like - you fucked up too bad for that.

Out of nowhere, you felt Jays hand rest on your waist. His warmth and tender touch brought new tears to your eyes as you continued to pretend to be sleeping.

“I know you’re awake.” Jay said quietly with a rasp in his voice. His voice sounded like he just spent some time crying.

Shame and sadness took over your whole being. I made him cry, you thought regretfully.

You took his hand and pushed it off of your waist. You were too embarrassed and ashamed of yourself to face him now.

But Jay wasn’t having any of it as he yet again snaked his whole arm around your waist and pulled your body easily to his firm chest. You tried to wiggle away but he encircled his other arm around your body, holding you down with a strength you couldn’t fight.

He buried his face in the back of your neck, leaving small kisses all over it. Your heart melted at his action.

„Hmm… you’re my whole world, you know that,” he murmured against your skin, making your heart race as a blush crept up your neck, “my lovely precious girl.”

“My sweet sweet flower,” he pulled you closer to him as he sweet talked to you, “why are we fighting, baby? I just want to cuddle my love.“

Suddenly, you turned around and buried your face in his chest. You clutched onto his shirt as you began to sob loudly in his embrace.

„I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You cried so hard that your whole body was shaking in his hold.

“Babe… my love…” he sighed softly and started caressing your back in hopes to calm you down.

“Why are you crying? Don’t cry, hm..? You’re breaking my heart, babygirl,” he spoke softly as he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. Feeling his soft lips on you caused warmth and safety to spread throughout your whole body.

Jay felt himself tear up a little at the sound of your crying. He put one hand on your head and pushed it further against his chest. The other encircled your waist impossibly tighter as he tangled your legs with his own - your bodies almost melted together.

You couldn’t respond to him as you further snuggled into his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears.

“Shh, it’s ok. I’m here, hm? Don’t worry I’m here,” he patted your head lovingly.

“I- I thought you left me just now,” you mumbled so softly and quietly against his chest that he couldn’t even understand you.

“I’m sorry, princess, I couldn’t quite catch that. Please repeat that for me, my love,” he spoke ever so tenderly and with upmost love and affection reflecting in his voice.

You looked up to him and his heart broke at the sight of your crying face. Your eyes were reddish, your cheeks were wet and a hue of pink shimmered on your nose from all the crying.

He put his hand, which was previously patting your head, on your cheek. It encouraged you to speak again.

“When I heard you leave just now, I thought you le- left me because you said ‘we’re done’,” you hiccuped, your whole body shook yet again because of the anxiety you felt at the thought of him breaking up with you.

“Babe.. aw my precious girl,” he pulled your head back to his chest as he snuggled his cheek on the top of your head.

“You’re so cute, you know that? When you cry like this. It truly breaks my heart,” he put a kiss on your hair, rubbing his hand on your back again.

“Hm? Don’t cry, my darling. I would never leave you, baby, you know that, hm?” he cooed at you as if you were a baby - his baby.

“We’ll never break up, honey. Especially not because of a silly fight. This relationship with you is it for me. I’m gonna marry you one day and we’ll grow old together - you know this, baby. Why’d you think something like this, sweetheart?”

“I- I-“ you sniffled lightly, having trouble to express your emotions, “I don’t know. You never yelled at me. I don’t know,” you repeated, “I think I got scared because I was really mean to you.“

You tried to calm yourself down but you couldn’t help and sob quietly when you muttered: “and then you said we’re done and left me just like that. I thought you were angry at me and meant that our relationship is done.” You clutched onto his shirt as tightly as you could.

“Oh Baby…“ he put his forehead against yours and caressed your cheek with thumb, “I just didn’t want to fight with you, baby. I was just really exhausted and I’m sorry I talked to you like that.”

He kissed your nose as he continued, “that was wrong of me. And I’m not angry at you. We’re good, babygirl.”

He kissed your temple as he put your face against his neck, trying to calm you down. Which really helped - you felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of your heart. In response you wrapped your own arms around his torso.

“I only went outside to take out the trash and then I felt like the weather was refreshing. So I took a walk to calm down. I really regretted how I spoke to you. I’m your boyfriend after all, I should make you feel loved and protected. Not scared…” he whispered the last sentence as he felt a lump forming in his throat.

He cleared his throat, “I shouldn’t have told you to shut up. I’m really, deeply sorry. Please forgive me, princess.” He took your hand and kissed the back of, then held it firmly against his chest.

“Hm?” he put his chin on your head and closed his eyes, waiting for your response.

When he didn’t hear anything from you for a moment he got worried. “Baby?”, he leaned slightly back to look at your face as he brought his fingers to your chin in order to lift it up.

But you quickly tightened your grasp around him and hid your face in his chest. That’s when Jay realised that you started to cry again.

Jays concern grew bigger as his eyebrows furrowed in worry, „y/n? What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?“

You let out a quiet sob and shook your head. „No,“ you answered.

„My love, please tell what’s wrong so I can fix it, hm?“ he requested ever so gently and rubbed your arm.

You looked up to him, your eyes were shiny and adorably big and your lips formed a small pout as the guilt and regret grew bigger.

“This fight was totally my fault, Jay. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. Especially not if you just came home from work. I shouldn’t have doubted you. I should be the one apologising but you’re too good for me,” your tears streamed down your face and Jay’s crease between his eyebrows grew bigger.

“I think you did the best in that situation otherwise it would’ve escalated further if you wouldn’t have ended it, Jay. So please don’t apologise. Please forgive me,” you sniffled.

“It’s ok, baby. Sometimes when I get irritated and feel my blood boil you just have this magic in you where you immediately calm me down. I should’ve done the same to you but I was just exhausted from todays schedule I couldn’t contain myself. And it’s also my fault because I gave you reasons to be mad. I’m sorry for everything. Let’s just forget everything today. Ok, my love?”

Jay hoped that this would help you calm down entirely so that you could spend the rest of the night in peace together.

You shook your head again. You were tired from all the crying, but still, you just couldn’t hold the tears back in front of your boyfriend.

“Stop apologising, Jay!“ You whined. “This fight was entirely on me, you’re making it worse!”

„Sorry,“ he chuckled to annoy you and to lift up your mood. You just snuggled further into him as a response.

“Let’s talk about it then, baby. Tell me everything that bothered you,” he pushed your hair behind your ear as he looked in your eyes with nothing but love and patience.

You bit your lips and your eyes wandered elsewhere, avoiding his.

“Y/n.“ he demanded in a soft tone.

“I didn’t tell you I’ll be late today, hm? That’s what bothered my princess? From now on I’ll let you know, ok?“ You nodded quietly in response.

„But babe,“ he chuckled softly while he caressed your hair again lovingly, „I already told you that my phone died. And usually you don’t really mind when practice runs late. Tell me what’s really wrong,“ he just knew you too well.

„I just,“ you took deep breath as you tried to stabilise your voice, “I felt really awful today because, you know, I told you… I got my period and you know how I need you to cuddle with me especially when it’s the first day. And then I prepared dinner for us even though I wasn’t feeling good but I wanted to because we never eat dinner together… but when you didn’t show up it just broke something in me I guess…” you blinked your tears away.

You looked at Jay but he was already gazing at you with the softest eyes. He gave you the reassurance that he was listening. He repositioned you two, now you were lying on top of him and snuggled your face in the crook of his neck as he was on his back.

“I’m sorry, that was stupid of me. I had in my mind that I needed to be home early but we were so caught up in our schedules, I didn’t even realise it was past 10. We were so busy, I honestly forgot that I had a phone and a girl waiting for me,” you chuckled at his silliness, “when I realised how late it had gotten, I thought you’d already be sleeping so I didn’t even bother to charge my phone. Who else would I need it for other than my girl?” He spoke softly.

You pouted at him, “you’re so cute.” You kissed his cheek lovingly, when regret clouded your heart.

The corner of your lips went down, “I’m sorry for saying you were lying. That was so wrong of me, please forgive me.” Your eyes glistened with nothing but sorrow and regret.

“It’s ok, baby.” Jay comforted you, unsatisfied with the sad look on your face.

“And then? What happened that you were so upset, princess?”

“And then I - I don’t know - I saw these comments online talking about how great you are and it made me insecure that maybe I’m not good enough for you and that’s why you didn’t bother to contact me.”

Jay had to hold himself back from interrupting you and to tell you to stop thinking such nonsense, but he let you have this moment to pour your heart out.

“I now know that you couldn’t, but at that moment it just got too much. Because the other day I went to a café date with Minju and Sooyun - you know the cute café with the cute rose petal cups that I wanted to find?” Jay hummed, reminding himself in his mind to buy them for you, allowing you to continue, “that day, we were just talking and I told them I don’t see you so often because you sleep in the dorms. Then they told me that their boyfriends never go to the dorms, they looked at me with such a pity look. It just felt weird, like I exposed your secret and they felt bad for me. Why-“

You bit your lips, hesitating to continue your question. “Why would you sleep there when the others don’t?” you asked in small tone and your heart started to beat a little faster.

While Jay stroked your hair he spoke softly: “Baby, everyone sleeps there nowadays except for those two selfish idiots. Hee is just being a stubborn idiot who likes to make life harder for our manager and Hoon’s apartment is nearby our dorm. That’s why they don’t stay there. Well, Hee did sleep for one night and then he had a fight with Jungwon. Maybe Sooyun forgot that in the moment.”

“Minju’s apartment is not near your dorms,” you stated confused.

“Baby, Hoon’s home is. Not Minju’s.”

“They don’t share a home?”

“No, I think they use both of their apartments and take turns, or something.”

“Oh,” you truly felt embarrassed.

“I’m-“ Jay put a finger on your lips shushing you, “no apologies no more. It’s okey, misunderstandings happen. That’s why we’re the best team on this earth because we make everything clear.” You nodded shyly.

“What else did you wanna talk about?”

“Uh, nothing-“ you then remembered the one big thing.

Of course your boyfriend noticed the shift in your voice and raised his eyebrows.

You nuzzled your face against his neck again, sadness taking over you yet again for nth time this day.

“You’re going on tour next week…? Jugyeong told me today. I pretended that I already knew - but you have no idea how devastated I was, jjongie,” you said his nickname with so much pain in your voice that he couldn’t help but close his eyes in regret.

You sniffled quietly and clenched onto his shirt, “after that she got so excited because Jake texted her ‘so sweetly’ that he’ll be visit her later. I don’t know, I guess I was jealous? And then I got mad… I know it makes no sense but I was just hurt.”

“It made me feel like I’m not important enough for you.”

Jay’s heart broke at this sentence.

“Don’t say something like that, princess,” he kissed your head, “you’re the most important person in my life. And I’m sorry I made you feel the opposite.”

“why didn’t you tell me about the tour, jjongie? Why?”

He sighed softly, “It’s just… I didn’t tell you because you always get so sad whenever I have to leave for a long period of time. And I always feel like I failed you and our relationship whenever I have to leave you alone.”

“So what was your great master plan? Telling me one night before?”

When you didn’t hear a response from Jay you lifted your head to look at him.

Then you saw a sheepish smile spread over his stupid yet cute face. His expression resembled a child who was caught by his grandma stealing a candy from the kitchen drawer.

“Jay!” You exclaimed in disbelief. “Are you for real?”

“Babeee…” he whined childishly,

“I don’t know what my plan was. I just didn’t want to make you sad - that’s all I know. Whenever I had the chance to tell you - I couldn’t. You always are so happy and beaming so brightly, I just didn’t want to ruin your mood. Please don’t be mad.” He nuzzled your cheek with his nose.

“But! I am mad, Jongseong! Of course I’ll be sad when you leave me whether it be for three months or three hours. I like having you around me!”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he grinned as he put your head back to his chest.

You huffed, “I want you to share every little thing with me, jjongie. No matter how sad or mad I’ll be, that’s why you’re here with me, right? You always know what to do to make me happy again. And even if you don’t - you alone are enough to give me comfort and happiness.” You pressed a kiss on his clothed chest as you rested your chin on the same spot to look at him again.

“From now on you have to share every information you have from your company immediately with me. On the same day as you get it. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He pulled your body upwards so that your face lied directly next to his. His arms were wrapped around your body, meanwhile your hand rested on his chest.

Then he lowered his voice, “I already have my schedules for the upcoming year, should I show you?”

“Not now, jjongie. I still need to process the news from today,” you chuckled sadly.

“Can I kiss you now? I’ve been waiting the whole day.” You didn’t verbally respond to that as you just leaned in with closed eyes.

Jay kissed you slowly and sensually, trying to convey his apology and love for you in a way he couldn’t do with words.

You felt safe and protected, caged in his arms like that. The kiss expressed nothing but pure love and devotion.

“I love you, you know that, right?” He murmured against your lips.

“Hm,” you couldn’t quite response as he didn’t wait and entered his tongue inside your mouth. One of his hand laid now on your jaw and guided you. You quickly realised that this kiss had a faster tempo and tried to catch up.

Needing a quick break from the kiss-turned-into-a-makeout, you pulled away slightly.

But his kisses didn’t stop as he kissed you all over your jaw and neck.

As he did so he changed your position by laying you completely flat on your back while he went on top of you.

Pushing the blanket aside, he supported himself by resting one of his arm next your head whilst his other hand went down to hold your waist.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled as he left wet kisses on your cleavage.

He leaned into you as you felt his warm minty breath against your lips, “don’t ever doubt our relationship, baby. And before I forget-“ he leaned back slightly to look at your face properly and squeezed your face with a firm hand, giving your squished pouty face a stern look: “from now on you’re on a social media ban. No comments or contents. Don’t mind those comments, they don’t know me like you do. You’re perfect for me. And no fight will break us apart. Even death won’t do us apart. Alright?”

You nodded slightly as you tried to suppress the lump in your throat. However, a single tear escaped your eye, exposing yourself.

Jay kissed away the tear. “Good girl,“ he whispered as he let go of you face and attacked it with several kisses - on your nose, on your temples, your eyelids, and lastly, he kissed your lips.

You kissed him back and encircled your arms around his neck, pushing him further down to express your need for him.

He hummed against your lips in satisfaction and let his hand wander underneath your shirt to caress your bare stomach - leaving goosebumps all over it.

His hand then travelled down your ass, squeezing it lovingly.

“Jjongie-“ you gasped in surprise.

“Let me make it up to you, my baby. Let me show you how truly sorry and regretful I am,” his kisses trailed down to your cleavage again.

You wanted to protest - but he didn’t give you any chance to speak up as he started to suck on your nipple through the thin fabric of your top. You relaxed in his hold and sighed so softly, “feels so good.”

Since you prepared yourself for bed earlier you didn’t wear a bra which resulted in making you feel every movement of his mouth - and his tongue.

You stuttered his name in a quiet moan, “J- Jay,” and closed your eyes to feel every tingle rushing throughout your body.

Unconsciously, you tangled your hands in his hair and pressed his face into your boobs.

Just as he was about to hook his finger around your pyjamas to pull it down you stopped him by grabbing his hand, “w- wait!”

He gave you a questioning look - confused at your sudden movement.

“I’m sorry! I totally forgot that I’m on my period.” You pouted sadly.

He gave you a cocky smirk, “well, that didn’t stop us before.” He raised his eyebrows in amusement but didn’t make any movement to continue.

He actually did the opposite - he pushed your pyjama and top back to place and laid back next to you. After covering you both with the warm blanket, he cuddled you just like you had been doing before.

“That was one time,” you said in a scolding tone, feeling your neck and ears heat up.

“And it was in the beginning of our relationship! How do you even remember this? At that time we hadn’t seen each other for a few months, ok? I think it was 4 months,” you started to ramble, “or was it 3? And if I remember correctly, it was a huge mess. And, you know, that’s not healthy. Actually I read somewhere-“

Before you could continue, Jay put his hand along your jaw and pressed his thumb against your lips, making you shut up. You were flustered, to say the least.

“It’s okay, baby, I was just teasing you. I forgot it myself,” he glided his thumb across your lip.

You took his hand in your own and pecked his lips.

“I’ll reserve the energy and gladly fuck you into oblivion next week before I leave,” he whispered against your lips, catching you off guard.

“Jongseong!” You exclaimed. Flabbergasted at his boldness, you hit his chest with your palm.

“What?” He teased, “why are acting so shy now?”

You didn’t reply to him - you were too embarrassed, even after all those years of his teasings. You hid your face in the crook of his neck as you cuddled further into him.

The atmosphere shifted quickly into a cozy one as he started to rub your lower stomach.

“Does this feel good?” He asked in a soothing tone after a couple of minutes passed.

You hummed, “it’s making me sleepy,” closing your eyes.

“Hm? My girl is so strong. Sleep tight, baby. You cried a lot today, you should rest,” he kissed your forehead, worried that you might get a headache.

Suddenly, you disturbed the silence.

“Jjongie?” you whispered.

“Hm?”

“I didn’t mean that earlier, you know? You’re the best boyfriend I never ever even dared to imagine. I’ll work on my temper,” you mumbled sadly, full of regret thinking about your words earlier.

Jay had to think for a few seconds as he didn’t understand what you were talking about at first.

When it clicked, his embrace around you got tighter, “I know you didn’t mean it. Don’t worry your pretty little head over nothing.”

He caressed your head in order to help you fall asleep: “I’ll work on my communication.”

“‘s oke,” you mumbled sleepily.

“Love you ver’ much jjong’,“ you muttered incoherently.

“I love you more, my love,” he whispered.

———————

Comment and reblog pls, appreciate likes but tumblr doesn’t :(

[martygraciesversion381]

BLOWING SMOKE

charles leclerc x reader

Part2 of this

Warnings!: angst like always, alexandra being the mean one (NO HATE I LOVE ALEX WITH ALL OF MY HEART SHES A GODDESS), smau, crying and that's all!!

a/n: idk what happened with me with these two fics they’re extremely sad while normally I just put happy endings well enjoy this and I’ll hope that my stories will get happier like❤️‍🩹this is extremely short! (from Gracie’s song blowing smoke) 

1 year ago. That was the last time you talked to Charles after you broke up. He put you through so much pain and you cut all the contact with him not to get hurt again. You stopped following him on social media, blocked his number and stopped watching his races. You keep telling everyone that you’re fine even if it’s not the truth.

 f1gossip: Charles leclerc the famous formula 1 driver gets a new girlfriend Alexandra Saint-Mleux

This was the first notification you saw this  morning on your phone. You looked at the pictures and saw Charles and her holding each other and leo and you couldn’t help but feel hurt at the reminder that you once were this girl. You were tempted to text Charles and that’s what you did. 

 Was all you sent to him. You got ready and headed to your work. While walking you bumped into someone much taller than you. "Sorry it’s my fault I wasn’t looking" you apologise before looking at the stranger’s face and meeting those eyes the ones that made you fall in love and broke your heart. Charles. The picture of him holding her played nonstop in your mind and you wanted to throw up. 

You immediately walked away before Charles could say anything and noticed a girl walking past you and his way. Alexandra. She glanced at you before going to her boyfriend. Your work day was extremely exhausting and when you came back home you showered before ordering a pizza and watching a random tv show. 

Your phone buzzed with a message and you looked at it realising that it was a text from charles.

The text said then, a dm on instagram from Alexandra popped up on your screen and you read it.

You were nearly shocked by it but then remember how girls tended to be overprotective when they were with Charles. You didn’t want to answer her directly, instead you posted a picture of you on your couch.

It was clearly directed to Alexandra. Charles liked your post clearly not understanding the real meaning. 

A few days after, you were at a bar waiting for Charles. He asked you to talk to try and become friends again. You saw him from afar and smiled at him. When he smiled back with his dimples full on display, you could swear that you saw your heart jumping out of your chest. 

"Hi" he said sitting in front of you. "Hi" you said back smiling at him. "How are you? How’s it going with Alexandra?" He hesitated before answering. "I’m not that good but Alexandra's helping me keeping my head up so yeah things are good between us." You smile softly. "You deserve happiness Charles…I hope on day I’ll find it to." He smiled at you sadly. "She’ll be happy to meet you y’know" he said attempting to lighten the mood. "I’ll be happy to see you more too." He leaned a bit closer. "We…we can’t Charles you have a girlfriend" you say before storming away. 

You got to your house and decided to make an instagram post to clarify to everyone that it wasn’t really over between you and Charles for you that the pain was still here. 

Charles phone buzzed with a notification. He looked down at it and opened it to see a picture of you crying with mascara staining your cheeks.

Once he read it he realised that your story wasn’t going to end like that. That another chapter could change everything.

a/n: guess what’s coming? Another chapter! 

tagglist:

@swiftlyconehead @g00d--vibes @carloswinner @paulinegba @f1addict3 @gorgeusreputation16 @motorsportbarbie13

[ciaradream8]

Where Are You?

A/N: So I wrote this to let off some steam because Zayne didn't come home. I lost the 50/50 badly! I usually write fanfic in private, but I never posted before so this is a first for me. Please keep in mind that I really didn't proof read cuz like I said I was just letting off steam. I WAITED TIL MIDNIGHT OF THE NEW YEAR FOR THIS MAN AND I LOST THE 50/50. The fact that this was the anniversary is what hurt most :') I was so excited too. I apologize for being too dramatic in this haha. Also, sorry for the terrible writing.

Warning: Angst

Words: 1.5K

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A sigh escaped my lips after taking a quick glance at my phone for what might be the millionth time. It was a half hour before the new year came. I glanced at the counter where I had made the homemade macarons specifically for a special doctor I had kept close to my heart.

Zayne. Where are you?

Zayne and I made plans together for the new year. We just wanted it to be the two of us. I had it all in my head; make dinner together, watch him eat the macarons I made, steal one from him after he took a bite as we wait for the countdown for the new year, countdown, gaze into each others eyes with the fireworks in the background, and promise to be together for years to come with a kiss. Nothing could be more perfect than that. Or so I thought.

Surprisingly, the sight of wanderers has been low which meant I mostly did paperwork or took missions outside of Linkon City where I was needed. I was able to get off work on time or Captain Jenna would let us go early as a reward for all the hard work we’ve been doing for our city. I had a bit more free time which was a luxury. Zayne, on the other hand, was more busy than ever. He would always try to respond to my texts as fast as he could, but I knew he was doing what he does best and that was to save lives. Yet it’s been different lately.

Zayne rarely responds to my messages now and every time we go out or we visit each other’s places he takes out his laptop to do work. I call out to him, but he always says “I’m almost done. Just give me a minute.” Then he started to sound a bit annoyed with me. I stopped asking him to hang out for a while, but I found the courage to invite him for new year’s eve a few days ago:

“Are you going to work on new year’s eve?” I asked him over the phone.

“No. I have the day off unless I am called for an emergency. Why?” He asked.

“Um…” I took a deep breath. “I was wondering if you wanted to spend it with me. That’s all. It’s been a while since we had a date after all.”

There was a pause over the phone. I bit my lip out of nerves and was worried he would say no. This would be our first new year’s together and a week after that it would be our first anniversary as a couple. After another moment of silence I heard him speak.

“It has been a while. I hadn’t noticed. I’m sorry if I made you feel sad.” He said. I could hear his tone. He sounded guilty.

“Oh! It’s okay. You’ve been busy after all.” I awkwardly laughed. I didn’t want my true feelings out. A part of me felt sad that I hadn’t seen him, but another part of me was angry because of the tone of annoyance in his tone of the last time we spent together. He told me I was in the way and that he had to focus. Yet I was the one to apologize and made up an excuse to leave.

“No, it’s not. In fact, why don’t we celebrate our anniversary that day as well?” He said.

“Isn’t our anniversary the week after?”

“It is, but I want to make it up to you. I could wear that butler outfit with the cat ears you bought not long after what happened with me being turned into part feline.”

My heart leaped as I smiled. I could feel my body being light as a feather from joy. Since the cat evol incident he always dressed up as a butler with the cat ears to cheer me up whenever I was upset with him. It was a rare yet welcoming occasion.

“Yes! I want to see kitty Zayne again!” I exclaimed.

He chuckled, “Alright now. Settle down. It’s the least I can do for a certain hunter who has been working hard to ensure not only Linkon City’s safety, but other cities as well. Where do you want to celebrate?”

“Just the two of us. My place if that’s okay.”

“Well…”

“I’ll even throw a plate of macarons for a certain doctor who is keeping his patients alive not just in Linkon City, but other cities as well.”

I could hear his smile over the phone, “Well, an offer like that is difficult to turn down. Very well. Your place. I’ll be there at four in the afternoon. We’ll make dinner together and wait for the countdown. Together.”

“Yes. Together. I’ll see you. Take care.” I smiled.

He chuckled, “You as well. I’ll see you then.”

I stared at my phone screen. It was the two of us at the photo booth where we took photos with animals. I remember that day well. I cupped his cheeks, catching him in surprise, while I smirked at the camera. I let out a soft laugh, but this doesn’t make me laugh the way it used to. All I can feel is pain in my heart just by looking at this. I unlocked my phone to see the wallpaper of my homescreen: Zayne kneeling to feed Clopidogrel. I smiled sadly at this until I went back to frowning. Then I looked at the text messages from today.

12:30 - Can’t wait to see you!

5:43 - Was there an emergency at the emergency room? I totally understand if you’re running a bit late. Do what you gotta do doc! You got this!

9:52 - Zayne? Are you okay? Do you need help? Are you hurt? Please tell me you’re okay

11:26 - Zayne? Where are you?

“Where are you, Zayne?” I whispered. I hear the announcer on the television set telling the audience that there was five minutes left on the clock. I used my hands to cradle my head. It took everything in me not to cry. He’ll be here. Even if it’s one minute before midnight. He’ll be here. I thought to myself. Just a small glimmer of hope. I took a deep breath and walked towards the window to look down. His car wasn’t there, but I was waiting for it to show up and for him to come out running to me. Next thing I know, I heard the announcer and the audience behind him counting down.

5…4…3…2…1…Happy New Year!

At that moment I collapsed on the floor and could feel the tears spilling out. No matter how many times I tried to wipe my tears away it wouldn’t stop. It was a never ending stream. “He didn’t come. He didn’t come.” I kept mumbling to myself. Why? Why did this have to happen? Was I no longer good enough? Was he tired of me? Did he only agree to spend New Year's with me so I would stop bothering him? Was this his way of telling me that we were done? So many questions were swirling in my head.

After I was done crying I went to the bathroom to splash water in my face and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and red from all the crying I did. The worst thing was that I knew I could keep crying. I took a couple of deep breaths without breaking the gaze to myself. I thought of all the memories we made together: going to the amusement park, him kissing my cheek when I got drunk, our first kiss in his car after our third date, him teaching me pool, everything. I clenched my fists and furrowed my brows. No longer did I feel disappointment, but instead I felt anger. I walked to my bedroom to see the two snowmen on my bed. The blue one was him and the red one was me. I picked up the blue one and held it in front of me.

“I devoted myself to you. I couldn’t and still can’t see anyone else for me except you. But if this is how you truly feel then fine. I don’t need you.” I threw the snowman across the room. I went to grab my phone and began typing a message to Zayne:

Next time you want to break up with me at least tell me. Before you lecture me on doing this kind of thing in person let me tell you something. At least I have the decency to let you know SOMEHOW. Unlike some people. Good bye, Dr. Zayne.

My thumb hovered across the sent button. I didn’t want to end it. I was in love with him. But there is no point in being with someone who doesn’t love you back. After a few seconds I finally managed to push send. My emotions were all over the place. I changed my lock screen to a photo of Tara and I after the escape room and changed my home screen to a video game character I liked. I went to my photo album to delete the photos, but I couldn’t do it. That was too far for me. I didn’t have it in me to go that far. I decided to not delete the photos and go to bed with a broken heart. Knowing my love for him would never disappear.

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A/N continuation: So yeah. I'm pretty salty as you can see XD For the time being I'm mad at Dr. Zayne and put him in the doghouse. I might write another part for when I'm no longer upset with him or to continue to be salty. I don't know. Or you could give me a request. Again, sorry for the terrible writing. Didn't proofread it. If you guys give me something I will look back on it carefully I promise. If you have any questions as well ask and I will answer as best as I can. Happy New Year everyone!

[dexastres]

sweet melody, jude bellingham, part one

summary : elena wants revenge on her ex-boyfriend, who cheated on her, and jude will help her.

wc : 1083

Jude let out a long sigh. After a long and exhausting day, he had decided to go out with Aurélien and Eduardo. However, the young Englishman found the evening rather boring. He was sitting in his corner, drinking the drink a girl had offered him earlier. The taste disgusted him so much that he winced after every sip. But Jude couldn’t bring himself to throw it away, so he endured it until he couldn’t take it anymore.

After drinking a little more of this unidentifiable concoction, the young man put his glass on the table and looked around for his friends, but to no avail. He sighed again and stood up. This evening was a waste of time, and Jude would rather go home. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted his driver, asking if he could come and get him. Just as he was about to hit the “send” button, he bumped into someone. Both young men apologised and went their separate ways.

As Jude approached the bar, a group of girls passed by, and one of them caught his eye. She wore a navy-blue satin mini-dress that hugged her curves perfectly. She had the most radiant smile the Englishman had ever seen, and her hair cascaded down her back, swaying with every movement. A smile spread across his face. He couldn’t look away, mesmerised by her beauty. He could’ve stared at her for hours, days, even years without getting bored.

“Stunning. Dazzling. Magnificent.” Jude whispered as he sat on a stool while the young woman made her way to the dance floor with her friends. 

“I can stay a little longer” He thought before erasing the message he was about to send to his driver.

On the dance floor, Elena swept her eyes around the room, desperately searching for Alejandro, her ex, but he remained out of sight. She started to wonder if her friend didn’t come up with another plan to convince her to go out with them. After all, since her breakup with him, she rarely left her house, except for work and school.

Again tonight, the young woman planned to stay home and enjoy the fact that she would spend the weekend alone, since her parents were at her little brother’s tournament in another city. All she wanted was to eat ice cream while watching her favourite rom coms. However, her plans changed when she received a message from her friends saying they had seen him enter the nightclub with his friends. Elena dropped what she was doing, ran to her room, put on her prettiest dress, the one he loved most, and took the first taxi to the address her friends had given her.

Elena wanted to show Alejandro what he had lost and make him regret cheating on her. But as nerves set in, she began to second-guess her decision. She dreaded the moment she would see him, and thinking about him brought back painful memories. And now, she wanted to go back home and let the tears she’d been holding back for a while.

Alejandro was her first love—the person with whom Elena had shared countless memories, immense trust, and unconditional affection. She had given him her love, but what had she received in return? A broken heart and trust issues. The young woman hated herself for thinking he would be different from the others who tried to come into her life. She felt stupid for letting her guard down and regretted naively believing his promises. She hated him and wanted him out of her life, but he kept haunting her mind. 

“Will he talk to me if he sees me? Does he have a girlfriend? Does he think about me sometimes? No, I should stop thinking about him. I should enjoy the night. That’s why I’m here.” She thought and sighed.

Elena looked at her friends, they seemed to enjoy the evening without a care in the world. Dancing as if there were no tomorrow, letting the music guide their bodies with smiles. Despite all these people surrounding her on the dance floor, Elena had never felt so alone. Her vision became blurry, a tear rolled down her cheek, and another followed. She slipped away from the dance floor to lock herself in the nearest bathroom.

At the bar, Jude was chatting with the bartender, a friendly middle-aged man named Enrique, who was entertaining him with his crazy stories. The young man, with his glass of water in his hand, laughed heartily, almost forgetting his friends’ absence. 

“Hey, isn’t that the girl you’ve been looking at all evening?” Enrique asked, pointing to Elena as he wiped the counter. Jude quickly turned in her direction, but his mood shifted when she passed next to him. The young man’s brow furrowed. He sensed that something was wrong. She was staring at the floor, not wanting anyone to see the tears streaming down her face and ruining her makeup. Elena felt humiliated. She disliked showing vulnerability in front of people.

Before reaching the bathrooms, she bumped into someone. She apologised and looked up at the person in front of her. Her heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, everything around her fell silent. The music that filled the room had become background noise, dull and distant. Breathing had become complicated, and her tears turned into a torrent. She looked like a mess in front of him while he stood there in all his glory, looking down at her.

“Hey, Elena, it’s been a while. How are you?” She stared at him. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. The words she had just heard hung in the air, sharp, and cold.

“I like your dress, by the way. Did you wear it for me?” He asked, smirking. Elena blinked in disbelief. Her sadness turned into anger. She wanted to wipe the cocky smile off his face. She didn’t reply and pushed open the bathroom door, reminding herself of her initial reason for coming. She walked to the mirror, not caring about the two people making out in the first bathroom stall.

“If you think you can just come into my life and destroy everything, you’re mistaken, Alejandro. I’ll make you eat your words and all the things you’ve said to me. I’ll show you that I’m not just a stupid rag doll you can manipulate as you wish.” Elena said, wiping off her tears and reapplying lipstick.

"I'll get my revenge, one way or another."

[yuri-is-online]

The sheer untapped angst of Jamil in the fyuuture au is haunting me so it's your problem now /hj. I'm trying so hard to be normal right now ugh take my thoughts please they need to get out of my skull so that I can articulate to others how much the fate of Jamil in the first timeline just haunts me. It's like a weeping angel I can't take my eyes off of it and the moment I do it just kills me to fathom the possibilities.

But god imagine being Jamil and you have someone who for the first time is solely on your side, no other reason than that they chose you because they like you and want to stand by your side. I imagine Jamil must have had reservations about potentially dragging yuu into the job of servitude but like hell that was gonna stop them. And then he's happy because he has an actual life outside of Kalim, they've matured over the years and Jamil has more freedom from him than he ever had. He once couldn't fathom condemning a child to share his last name but he is going to be a father and he's so excited.

Then it's just gone. Yuu isn't next to him when he wakes up one morning and the front door of the house is still open. It's a surprise he didn't wake up from the smell of the food burning in the kitchen but he can't think straight because something is so clearly horribly wrong. All of their things are where they left them, their phone is still on the kitchen counter and they didn't take their keys. Neither of them were working in the months leading up to the birth of the child, a gift from Kalim he hadn't refused. He's panicking and in his panic he does something he never would have fathomed himself doing, he reaches out to Kalim for a help.

By the time he gets a response it kills him. He will never know what happened to his spouse or child, Kalim will never get his message, the next time Kalim sees Jamil after the latter's baby shower and paternity leave, will be when his corpse is being dragged along by the sorcerer of the sands. It will ironically be, the last thing he sees.

There is a lot of tragedy in this ayuu, but with Jamil specifically it verges into horror in a way I didn't fully appreciate when I drafted it.

Jamil is essentially a feudal vassal who wishes for the freedom to be a normal member of society. He also, and this is so important to his character even though it often gets overlooked, wants his family to be respected. His parents, his sister, his first memory is them kneeling to a different set of parents and that kills him inside.

For you to come from a world where his situation is somewhat of a foreign concept and still choose him, choose to throw your support behind him because he is worth reforming the world for- it is everything to him. He got his happy ending through hard work and he deserves it, so why is it being taken from him? Why is Kalim's mess of a family taking from him again?

I don't think Jamil ever realizes it has nothing to do with him; the idea that he was collateral damage isn't really something that computes with how his life has been up until that point. The behavior of his phantom certainly doesn't help anyone realize that either, the way it hunts down the Al Asims and controls the people of his home you would assume that was all the corpse that birthed it wanted. That it would have been better off for everyone if there had been no baby shower planned, no paternity leave, no child to begin with. But that's not true. It was never about Jamil, he was just there and it was convenient to blame him for it.

Something that child will realize he has been doing too when he's forced to see just how happy his father really was, once upon a dream.

[narcjsistx]

𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 | kaiser x reader

— part twelve

plot: kaiser comforted you after a bad and slow breakup, but what will happen now considering what you two shared? is everything still unexpected or is there something you both simply have yet to realize?. fluff shit 'cause yeah!!

words: 3.2k (3203)

extra: it will probably become a multi part story, tell me if you're interested in a part thirteen!

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!. you can find the other parts of the story by searching in the section dedicated to bllk

If revenge took so much time, you weren't sure you wanted to take revenge against Gabriel and possibly Ursula. You had been spending all your time calculating your ex's steps in great detail for a month now, trying to find the tip of the iceberg that hid a world of mistakes underneath; but you couldn't find this tip, and you were starting to lose hope. You knew for a fact that Gabriel had a lot of secrets that the more hidden the worse they were, but you couldn't figure out where to start to unmask these secrets of his. You can't help but admit that he's a smart person, and he's definitely trying to use this potential to hide all his mistakes

After that night, Kaiser had decided to take his vacation early to enjoy some time with you, and in his humble opinion you yourself needed your boyfriend to work better and send Gabriel to hell. It was Kaiser's cute way of saying he wanted to be around you, you knew, but it made you laugh to imagine him as if he were at home planning some sort of murder with his soccer ball. Besides, since you had that hysterical crying fit, you had never found yourself without breakfast ready in the morning and someone to take you to and from work. Some paparazzi had intercepted Michael in the car, but so far you were not in any other current scandal. If they had started something you would have simply shut everyone, the media and the entire world, with yet another excuse

You pick up the phone, retrieving it after hours in the hands of the stylists, who have used your body for at least four consecutive hours with the clothes of the next fashion show. Today in the agency there are few models, you and a few others scattered throughout the entire building; Ursula should be in her office and there is no trace of Gabriel since this morning. It's a pretty boring day, the next show is still far away and many prefer to stay home and come in the afternoon, if they have to. You could have stayed in the arms of your beloved boyfriend in your soft and warm bed, but if you really want to find out something about Gabriel you have to be around all the time

And if that means wasting hours you could spend with Kaiser, you'll do it for now. You sighs, checking messages you've received

mihya ♡

— Return home at least for lunch is not an idea, right? — 12:08

— I take that as a no, schatz — 13:10

you — I was busy, sorry love — 13:20

— I had guessed it. But for dinner I want to order from that french food shop that disgusts you, so be ready — 13:21

you — Obviously I'll eat before I return home, disgusting boyfriend — 13:21

— You are hurting me badly. You might not find your favorite socks when you get home — 13:22

you — MICHEAL KAISER TOUCH THOSE SOCKS AND I SWEAR TO GO BACK TO ITALY, I SWEAR — 13:23

— You're always so sweet, schatz. Any news on your evil plan of destruction? — 13:23

you — None other than I'm thinking of giving up. That bastard seems to have everything hidden so perfectly, my god. I thought I had learned to read he at least a little after years, but apparently not. I'm thinking of just making up something far away that he might have done and making it the news of the century. It looks cool — 13:25

— You could say he cheated on you, manipulated you, maybe even slapped you once, and you wouldn't even be lying — 13:26

you — I don't know whether to be amused by the fact that you're absolutely right or to feel stupid for letting him act like that — 13:27

— The one that make you feel better, or the one that make you come home to me now — 13:27

you — Mihya :(( — 13:28

— Shall I pick you up then? — 13:29

As you are about to write 'yes' to Kaiser you notice someone passing by you, proceeding towards his destination with a certain hurry. You look up, noticing that that someone is Gabriel, who strangely did not bother you as he usually does. His face is a bit worried, and his pace is hurried as he begins to climb the steps that lead directly to Ursula's office. He has a folder in his hand, from witch a sheet of paper accidentally slips out, ending up on the steps

You put your phone in your pocket, making a mental note to answer your boyfriend. You walk a few meters away from Gabriel, who disappears from your life as soon as he passes the highest staircase. You run to the place where the paper fell, pick it up and sit for a moment on a nearby step, taking a long sigh. The last time you had to deal with secret papers you almost risked ending your friendship with Kaiser, but in the end the result is having him as a boyfriend. Will it bring you luck this time or not? You ask yourself this because, deep down, you know that this paper is important, maybe really important. You yake a little preparatory sigh as you begin to observe

The sheet is presented with simple data about the models and their paychecks. For some more information are written, such as their age and how long they have been working for the agency, but reading it you cannot find your name. You reread the paper several times, but you can't find yours. Why, even though you work here, you are not on the list of models?. You search for the name of some model you are more or less friends with, and at the bottom of the description of one you find a somewhat strange sentence

"Alleged friend of X. Seen with her more than a few times, probably they have an informal relationship. Seems to know about X's situation, possible collaborator. She might ask for a raise, a higher position at the next fashion show, or a transfer to another agency"

You reread the sentence several times, not fully understanding it. What should she be a collaborator for?. Also, she's a model who's been in the agency for a short time, and you're the only one she has any sort of relationship with. You'd like to avoid thinking about it, but you think X is a code name they gave you, for who knows what reason. You turn the sheet over, and in the white part you find a small erased note, still half legible

"She simply asked for a pay rise and more vacation days during the christmas period. She will provide information via messages during the day. X should have told her about deleted and maybe some details about her old deleted"

The girl in question then spoke, but on what topic? If it's really you X, you've never told this girl anything personal, except some old stories from when you were in other agencies, but those have nothing really important. Did she lie?. You get up from the step, walking towards Ursula's office with a cautious step, hoping not to find anyone on your way. Arriving in front of the door you look from inside the crack to see if there is anyone, but you are surprised to see absolutely no one and to find the door open, which is strange considering that Ursula is very reserved. You inadvertently find yourself opening the door, being careful not to let anyone nearby see you. You look in the office, but while you are looking on her desk you hear voices, two that you recognize well, talking; you think they are coming from the corridor, but when you check you don't find anyone. You go back into the office, and noticing the door of the personal bathroom slightly open you are convinced that the voices are coming from there. Cautiously you hide behind the wall that separates the bathroom from the office, trying to figure out why they are in the bathroom and why they are Gabriel and Ursula in question. Maybe you have seriously found the last thing you needed to unmask Gabriel, or at least you hope

"So?"

"You saw the papers I gave you, right? She has few relationships here, with the other models. The only one who agreed to talk said she'll call me tonight or send me messages, but I don't know why I can't find the paper where I wrote it... maybe it stayed at my house. I don't really care, I just need to know that I'll finally have some material in my hands"

"And will it be enough?"

"I suppose so, after all the media doesn't take much to ruin a person, and she's not in such a good situation already. Give me a week and you'll get what you want too"

"I've been waiting for two years, Gabriel. I'm fed up, if it doesn't work this time I'll do it my way, and you know my methods aren't exactly legal"

"Trust me, you'll get what you want and I'll get what I need. I just need to get those messages tonight and by tomorrow you can already say you're her"

"Now I really like the way you talk"

"Maybe you already love me but you don't want to admit it"

"Let's go step by step, I'll think about that later"

"Do as you wish, darling. Just think that from tomorrow Y/n will no longer be her but you will be her. The dream you have been living for will finally come true, and that slut will end up in some forgotten place. No longer the stylist, but now the model, my dear Ursula"

You are petrified, hearing their words. Even without knowing the situation, you already know that those two are doing everything they can to get you down once and for all, probably using something much more powerful than scandal.

"No longer the stylist, but now the model. And you, dear Gabriel, no longer the founder, but the general boss"

You pick up your phone, going to Kaiser chat to start a voice message. You need to record, you know you need to if you want to get out clean off this situation. You're ignoring the tremors that are plaguing you, because now you really need to concentrate, it's for your final win

"Anyway, I really don't believe it took two whole years to get to this point. On the one hand, I'm also sorry I treated her like that, it wasn't that bad... she's nice, more or less. But if treating her this way means I get where I want to go I don't care, or maybe I never really cared about her"

"Two years because, I don't know how, she withstood the scandal. I suspected she would swallow it completely, but evidently she still has some tricks up her sleeve. Then I can't imagine what's going on between her and her fucking best friend, the famous soccer player I mean, Kaiser Micheal. Will they fuck?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no. I honestly don't know if she hasn't let anyone else touch her after me yet"

Oh well Gabriel, you have pretty high hopes. You and Kaiser had fucked a few hours after you broke up, let's say you hadn't wasted any time

"You're just a junkie, Gabriel. You ruined that poor girl for your own interests!"

"Are you speaking, Ursula? Destroying someone who has never done anything to you is not exactly good behavior, dear. Being obsessed with the idea of Y/n just because she is actually a successful model, something you couldn't become, is a bit of bad behavior... you even went so far as to ask her beloved boyfriend for help"

"And you destroyed her to become the boss of the TraumLaufsteg, silly"

You've had enough, you get up and leave the office in a hurry, running as fast as you can towards your dressing room. Everything is so damn clear to you, finally something has formed with a logical thread, and damn, this time you even have the proof. You don't know how for two years you didn't notice anything, but finally everything is clearer to you; you won, really won. You arrive in your dressing room, closing the door behind you as you rush to the couch, once again taking up the chat with Kaiser where your most precious evidence rests. You sigh deeply, listening to the audio of less than 5 minutes, where Gabriel basically unmasks himself together with Ursula. You notice that Micheal has viewed the message, and because of the emotion you can't even write, so you opt for a voice message

"Mihya... we'll talk about it at home. But trust me, trust me, this time I've really won, this time I can make him look like a monster, this time I can seriously-" you say excitedly, but you turn when you hear footsteps in the hallway that you would recognize anywhere. The door to the room opens, and the smiling figure of Gabriel makes your blood run cold "Am I disturbing you?" he say "What the fuck are you doing here?" you say, getting up from the couch, and he shrugs "Nothing big. I just think you listened to too much" he says, as if he hadn't just dropped a bomb. He saw you, you don't know how, but he saw you. But this time it won't be a problem to be there, this time you decided that he won't hurt you "I heard, oh yes I heard, you piece of shit" you say taking a few steps forward "How good, my sweet Y/n. She still knows how to spy and listen" he say giving a small laugh, but grabbing your chin "So, what would you like to do? Who would believe the naive girl who everyone believes betrayed the genius of Italian fashion? Do you really think your opinion counts so much compared to mine?" he asks, mixing seriousness with a hint of sarcasm. You don't look down, but you suddenly have a little plan in mind, if everything is happening as you think "Gabriel... god, I hadn't thought of that. You're not entirely wrong" you say, faking a surprised and sorry tone, while you lower your gaze, as if you want to make him feel superior. He raises an eyebrow, smirking when he sees you so defeated, so naive and innocent "You see? You know it too"

Showing yourself weak might help the plan you just came up with. You hate to do it right now when you were showing yourself strong, but if the outcome is what you imagine, you have to do it

"And this time you want to send me down too. How did I not notice that..." you say mortified, and he seems to be convinced "You're so stupid, you don't act so strong when Kaiser's not around, right? Look, I guess you guys fuck, or maybe I don't even know, but I don't care. This time he's not around" he says smiling "And you are the umpteenth brainless and alone with a badly used potential. You could have remained silent in your place and lived at least another year without me having done anything to you, we would still be a couple and only then would I have spoken against you. And yet no, you acted like a bitch and unleashed a huge mess, coming here in Germany"

Gabriel continues, caressing your face "It was never my intention to hurt you, sweetie. The first year was beautiful between us, remember? We lived well in Milan and you paraded like a professional model, even though you had never been in the industry that much... good times. But then you found out about my first cheat, but you didn't leave, silly girl, because you loved me so much. And so, while you were growing in fame, I suddenly became 'Y/n's boyfriend' and no longer the fucking founder of the biggest Italian modeling agency of the moment, and it bothered me darling, it bothered me so fucking much, because I fucking created you. And so while I was looking for some German stylist to open a fashion agency in Germany I met Ursula, who coincidentally was so obsessed with you. She who has always walked the catwalk never got your fame, and she got fed up with creating clothes but not wearing them, and she wants to be you so much, amore mio. So while she became the boss of the TraumLaufsteg, keeping my identity a secret, I continued to cheat on you, and you always noticed everything, baby. The goal was to push you down as much as possible, I would become the official boss of the TraumLaufsteg, which I would later merge with my Italian agency, since Ursula would finally become a model and could give me the role. Because I depend on you, but you depend on me, slut. And if that meant making you the shittiest person in the world, painting you as a traitor, I would have done it. And I did, because I knew you would go down and I could finally take over as the boss of the TraumLaufsteg. And yet you got back up even after the scandal, and I don't know how"

Finally, everything is clearer to you. Gabriel's words come out like a raging river, and you don't know if you're still looking sad, because inside you're dying of happiness. You knew it was shit, you knew it damn well, and he admitted it. You loved a piece of shit that has now exposed itself, without him knowing it. You had been stupid, so damn stupid to let everything slide, but you finally had everything in your hands

"So you admit that you cheated on me...?" you ask sounding desperate, and he nods happily "More than you can imagine. You're gorgeous, I can't lie, but you're more type for a long term relationship, and in the fashion world relationships between people last as long as a fashion show. I've probably been with seven or eight different women... maybe a few more" he says thinking about it "And you painted me in front of the media as a monster" you say, returning to the main topic. He shrugs, sighing, "Give the media what they want, right? No one would ever imagine you would cheat on me, but remember, my opinion carries some weight. I've made up so much bullshit about you that I can't even remember anymore, but look where you are now... you're about to sink. And I love this thing"

You sigh, falling dramatically to the floor as you cover your face "I can’t believe this…" you say, but you’re hiding a laugh. It’s all working out, it’s all worked out, you’ve got it all. Gabriel chuckles softly, giving your hair a light caress before leaving the room "Sorry again, sweetie. Don’t make me feel too bad, good fall into hell"

He leaves, the room is finally empty and silent again. You stand up, moving towards the couch where the phone is still open, and the audio in Kaiser's chat is still recording, and Michael's online

You won. You fucking won

tag(s): @rroxii ; @kittenish0 ; @bungoustraydogsno1fan ; @sabrina-senpai ; @vannilaa16 ; @kaz-0e (if you want to be tagged tell me!)

[mysticeclipses]

Comforts For The Troubled Mind

This fic was inspired by this thought from @nekrosmos

Well, since my last fic was Nik comforting Price, I thought to myself, 'What about one where Price is comforting Nik?' Can you tell I'm developing an obsession?

This had to be one of the most exhausting days Nikolai had experienced in a very long time, and that was saying something considering how much running around he had been doing these past few weeks. As an international arms dealer, the leader of Chimera, and so called ‘taxi service’ for Task Force 141, running back and forth between countries in his trusty Black Hawk helicopter became the norm for his life after so many years in his line of work. Yet with so many years of experience under his belt, Nikolai could feel these past few weeks really starting to weigh down on his shoulders, and today was the final straw that made him realize just how much he was exhausting himself for the sake of everyone else around him that needed his help.

Waking up during the early morning hours at Urzikstan, Nikolai freshened up to the best of his ability before quickly busying himself with a meeting with his fellow Chimera operators, having spent the last few days picking up Krueger, Syd, and Yegor so they could join Farah and Iskra at their base. Trying to do a virtual meeting with all of them scattered across the globe just would not work out well, so of course, Nikolai volunteered to fly out and grab everyone instead of having them spend an unnecessary amount of money on plane tickets to Urzikstan. A bit tiring for the man, but he had spent longer in his helicopter, so this was nothing at the end of the day. During the meeting, where they had been trying to come up with a plan on how to counter an attack made by Al Qatala in recent weeks, Nikolai couldn’t help but be constantly glancing at his phone.

Nikolai was anticipating a phone call or message from one of his associates in Germany about an arms deal that he needed to be at, yet his men had been radio silent, which wasn’t a good sign for what was to come in Nik’s mind. Still, he tried to push away the negative thoughts and put more of his focus on the task at hand, working to devise a plan that would work regardless as to whether or not he would still be around to fight with his team. When that phone call finally came through, Nikolai would finally allow himself to breathe a small sigh of relief knowing that his buyer was now on his way to the meet point, turning his attention back to the papers Farah had laid out on a table as they put the final touches on their plan. Only a few small details had to be changed now that Nikolai had his confirmation call, and once everything was in place, he said his farewells to everyone before rushing off to his helicopter under the morning sun.

With Farah having assured Nikolai that she would take care of returning everyone back home once they were finished with their plan, he assumed that this would finally take some stress off his shoulders as he headed towards Germany to get this arms deal over and done with. Oh how wrong he had been. The flight from Urzikstan to Germany took longer than Nikolai had initially thought it would, making him regret not eating something while still on Farah’s base when he finally landed, the sun having neared its peak in the sky. Checking on the goods that were stored in the back of the helicopter, Nikolai couldn’t help but grumble as he saw the bullets for the gun he was trading were now scattered around the inside of the briefcase, now having to spend precious minutes searching for all of them and tucking them back into the right pocket. Nikolai wouldn’t stand delivering products that didn’t represent his professionalism and the efforts he went through to obtain such weapons.

After giving the gun a final once-over just to make sure it was still intact, Nikolai shut the briefcase and hopped out of his helicopter, making his way to the small town where he would be meeting with his client. Of course, Nikolai had to stop at a small corner shop to grab something to eat before he even dared join the meeting, as a hungry Nikolai was a snippy Nikolai, and he knew the deal would be impossible to make if he was in such a state. One drei im weggla and a franzbrötchen later, and Nikolai’s hunger was satiated for the time being, quickly checking his face in a window to make sure he had no food remnants before finally coming up to the right building. It took long enough for Nikolai to get here, smoothing out any hairs that were out of place before heading inside and making his way to the meeting room, taking a mental note of any people he passed by as well. Even after so many years of being an arms dealer and having gained both respect and fear from those around him in this underworld, Nikolai still wouldn’t risk letting his guard down during trades.

Stepping past the metal door, Nikolai instinctively squared his shoulders as he saw the four men on the other side of the table, immediately picking out the supposed ‘leader’ from the quartet as he took a seat next to his own associates. This was exactly what Nikolai had expected to see, but what he didn’t expect was for each of the men to be of different nationalities, something he picked up on as he listened to their hushed conversations. The ‘leader’ was German, as expected, yet the man on his right was French, the man closest to his left was Filipino, and the man farthest to his left was Ecuadorian. None of those facts were issues to Nikolai, he had worked with people all over the globe for multiple jobs, so he was used to being in groups where no two people had the same background. No, the issue Nikolai noticed was the fact that they were much more keen on speaking in their native languages, and only their native languages. Again, Nikolai didn’t have an issue with that, and he could even understand why they would do so, as it was easier to say what you didn’t want others to know by speaking in other languages.

Even though Nikolai could understand what they were saying, he didn’t anticipate having to switch between German, French, Filipino, and Spanish when he wanted to converse with them about the deal. He had to repeat the same sentences four times over, speaking to each of the men individually instead of as a group, which was stressing his already stressed mind. Nikolai had already started growing a small headache from switching back and forth between English and Arabic back in Urzikstan, and now he had to go back and forth between four different languages? It would be a miracle if Nikolai didn’t leave this meeting without a much more aggressive headache. But of course, as fate would have it, Nikolai just wasn’t able to get a break.

That headache, which had started out as nothing more than a dull pulsing in the back of his skull that was easy to ignore, had now grown into an all-encompassing pressure around Nikolai’s head that he couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard he tried. Switching between four different languages wasn’t helping in the slightest, but what’s worse was the fact that the man who had called Nikolai for this deal didn’t even have the money to afford the damn thing! What a complete waste of time this had been, and Nikolai wasn’t afraid to make the sentiment known, cursing the four men out in all eight languages he knew before handing the suitcase with the gun off to one of his associates so he could leave. Of course, the men weren’t exactly happy with Nikolai’s words, nor were they happy to be leaving without the gun, so what else was there to do but open fire on Nikolai and his associates in a desperate attempt to get what they wanted? What a big mistake that was, as Nikolai was never unarmed walking into deals, and all it took were a few well-trained shots before the four men were nothing more than new tallies tacked onto his already extensive tally list of kills. And what a waste of four useful bullets too.

With a heavy exhale, Nikolai simply waved his associates in the direction of the bodies before leaving the room, wiping a few drops of blood off his leather jacket in the process. He trusted his associates to take care of putting the gun in a safe place until they got a new buyer, so now, all that was left for Nikolai right now was to get back to the United Kingdom and the base of Task Force 141 to finally get a break. Another flight that would last several hours wasn’t something that sounded overly thrilling to Nikolai, especially not with such an aggressive headache, but he didn’t exactly have any other choices. At least Nikolai had wisely snagged a couple bottles of water before making the trek back to his helicopter, and he took some time to enjoy the scenery as well since, to his knowledge, he didn’t have to rush anywhere. The fresh air was helping Nikolai’s headache a bit, though he would’ve preferred to have some sort of pain killer. Oh well, at least he could look forward to an ice pack and some peace and quiet once he got back to the Task Force base, maybe even a good meal so long as their fridge had actual food in it and not just week old rations.

The flight back to the United Kingdom was just as uneventful as Nikolai had imagined it would be, and he wouldn’t have it any other way to be honest. Even though the long flight was tiring, and Nikolai’s joints were definitely starting to feel the ache from sitting in the same chair for so many hours, he was just relieved to finally be back to a place of familiarity. And perhaps he was also looking forward to spending some quality time with a certain captain. It didn’t take long for Nikolai’s thoughts to be consumed by John Price and everything he had been missing about the man during these long weeks away. His hearty chuckle, his strong arms, his gentle eyes, the scratch of his facial hair when they shared a tender kiss, the warmth that filled the bed when they laid together, the gentle crinkling of his eyes when he smiled, the healthy thumping of his heart that easily lulled Nikolai to sleep, the way he just made Nikolai feel so at ease. God, Nikolai couldn’t wait much longer to get back on base.

Thankfully, Nikolai managed to land on the base of Task Force 141 as the sun was reaching the end of its descent, painting the sky in gentle shades of greens, blues, and purples with only hints of yellows and oranges. It truly was a gorgeous sight to behold, and Nikolai wished he could share it with John, hopping out of his helicopter to finally stretch his tired joints out. It didn’t take long for Nikolai to notice Price and his team were missing from base, though he just assumed they were out on an op, looking around his hanger for some pain killers he knew were stashed somewhere among his tools and spare helicopter parts. Maybe Nikolai should’ve taken some time to organize the place now that he really thought about it, as he was struggling to find those painkillers, and he could feel his headache coming back thanks to the sounds of tools being knocked into helicopter parts. Still, Nikolai tried to think positively as he continued digging around the disorganization. A warm meal, a comfortable bed, a nice movie, John in his arms, maybe even a bit of stress relief if you could catch his drift. Nikolai wanted to feel John’s bare skin beneath his fingers, John’s well-built muscles in his palms, John’s warm breath against his neck, John’s quiet pants in his ear, John’s ass against his-“Nikolai!”

Laswell’s voice startled Nikolai out of his thoughts, quickly attempting to stand up just to smack his head against the underside of the cabinet he had been searching in, letting out a string of muttered curses before getting out from the cabinet and standing to face Laswell. “Ah, Laswell, is nice to see you again.” Nikolai grunted as he rubbed the top of his head, trying to hide the exhaustion in his voice as he noticed a paper in Laswell’s hand that was now held out in his direction, taking it hesitantly before looking at what she had written. “The team needs your help getting back from an operation. We got false information about the location of some stolen weapons and they’re pinned down under enemy fire. You need to get them out before enemies close in on them.” Of course, Nikolai shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up about finally getting to relax. This was Task Force 141 afterall. “Understood. I will have them back shortly.” Nikolai simply nodded as Laswell before turning around and getting back into his helicopter, punching the coordinates into the gps before taking off for, hopefully, the last time today. It didn’t take longer than a few minutes for Nikolai to make it to the destination, and he knew he was getting close thanks to the sounds of gunfire, which was doing wonders for his headache.

Every gunshot made Nikolai’s head throb in pain, and as he lowered the helicopter to where John and his team were pinned down, the throbbing continued to intensify until it felt like thousands of hammers were constantly coming down on his skull. At least Price, Gaz, Ghost, and Soap got into the helicopter quickly, allowing Nikolai to take back to the air and get them back to base without much of a hassle, though the sound of bullets hitting the helicopter rang in his ears for much longer than he appreciated. Nikolai simply offered the team of grunt to acknowledge their presence before spacing out for the rest of the flight, his body acting without thought once he had landed back on base. Hopping out of the helicopter, Nikolai was already walking back to his shared room with Price hot on his tail, the man speaking so fervently about the operation that it was hard to really understand with his head still pounding so aggressively. Those painkillers were forgotten about as Nikolai opened the door to their room and kicked his boots off, collapsing onto the bed without a second thought before rubbing his temples to try and reduce the intensity of his headache turned migraine.

Nikolai could still hear Price moving around and talking about the operation, but he was barely even paying attention, only realizing Price was talking to him when he felt a hand shaking his shoulder. “Oi, Nik, you alright? You haven’t said a word since we landed, and your face is tense.” Price muttered with concern in his tone, reaching out to place a hand on the side of Nikolai’s head as well. “Ah, извинения, my dear. It has был долгий день and I cannot концентрат well.” Now Price knew something was up considering how Nikolai was slurring his speech and he was switching back and forth between English and Russian without realizing. Patting Nikolai’s head, Price stood up and left the room for a moment, coming back a moment later with a freshly cracked ice pack. Wordlessly, Price placed the ice pack on Nikolai’s forehead, noticing how the tension in his expression melted into relief almost instantly. Price knew that Nikolai likely wasn’t going to be up for much of a conversation, so he took it upon himself to take care of the tired Russian for the rest of the night; closing the curtains, turning off the lights, laying out some comfortable clothes, and slowly closing the door so he could place an order for food and look for a movie.

Around 30 minutes later, the food John had ordered finally got to base, and he managed to pick out a movie from the large collection that Nik had amassed over the years. Would John be able to keep up with anything going on? No, not likely, but he knew it was one of Nik’s favorite movies, so he’d manage. When John finally stepped back into the room, he was surprised to see Nik hadn’t moved a bit from where he was laying on the bed, the change of clothes remaining untouched for the time being, and the only sign that the man was even still awake was the subtle twitching of his fingers. This was a side of Nik that John rarely ever saw, but every time it showed up, it concerned John all the same. Setting the food and movie to the side for now, John shook Nik several times to get his full attention. “C’mon Nik, you know you’ll feel better once you get out of that jacket and jumpsuit. Get changed, I already got food and a movie for us.” It took a bit, but John managed to get Nik to get up from the bed and change, putting the ice pack to the side as he worked to get the movie ready on his laptop.

Once Nik was changed and the movie was ready to play, John unboxed the food and climbed into bed next to Nik, guiding the man’s head against his chest before handing him the food and setting the laptop between the two of them near the foot of the bed. John had ordered two plates of fish and chips, a bit cliche, but it was the one thing he knew would get the least amount of complaints from Nik. John made sure Nik was comfortable before pressing play and nestling the fingers of his left hand into the thick black hair, beginning to idly scratch and rub at the man’s scalp while eating with his right hand. Hearing Nik let out a deep groan of satisfaction, John couldn’t help but smile as he felt Nik slowly be reduced into a puddle of relaxation in mere minutes, the food now forgotten for the time being as he simply relished in the feeling of John’s fingers working the migraine away until it was nothing more than a fleeting afterthought. Still, Nik couldn’t help but lean into John’s touch even after his migraine had receded, the movie simply becoming background noise for the both of them as the night carried on.

Eventually, both of their meals had been finished, the two men simply basking in each other's presences even after the movie had ended and John had nudged his laptop shut with his foot. The silence did wonders for the both of them, and Nik was grateful that he could finally let his mind relax. No words had to be exchanged between the two men, John could tell what Nik needed simply by looking at him, and he was grateful for that. After the hell he had been through, it was nice to simply be taken care of by his lover, even if it wasn’t how he had initially imagined the night going. As John allowed himself to doze off, Nik nuzzled closer, tangling their legs together just so he could feel more of John’s body against his. John had always been Nik’s rock, his grounding force in life, and it was moments like these that confirmed to Nik that he held a special place in John’s heart. And he’d be damned to leave that space empty.

[hazeystar]

i'm broken (tell you i'm fine)

Now I'm begging you to come and pull me out the fire Come and save me, like you did when we were young Oh please, come bring me up from my lowest, take me higher Can you see me through the ashes and the smoke?

Two weeks after the breakup, Buck misses Tommy. He also loves him, did you know?

welcome to my first fic to this fandom because i hold buck and tommy close to my heart and have many ideas for them now

below the break and also on ao3

He couldn’t have been older than ten when they first met.  

He had fallen off his bike. Or maybe he jumped. Maybe he just didn’t stop himself from falling. 

Either way he was on the ground, his bike somewhere around him. He was just going down the sidewalk, saw an uneven crack and thought nothing (or maybe he thought “What the hell?” and sped up just a tiny bit more). 

“Hey! You alright?” There was a voice calling, and he sat up carefully, wincing as he pressed his hands back into the concrete. He definitely scraped them up.  

He was blinking away the sun, when a body came in front of him, standing with a bike next to him. “This your bike?” 

It was his bike. There was a boy holding it up, looking down at him with a concerned expression. 

Oh. He still hadn’t said anything. “Ye—yeah, it’s mine.” 

The boy nodded, setting it down next to them before crouching down. He was older than him, that much was evident, just by his voice. “You’ve scratched up your hands pretty bad.” 

He looked down at the offending body parts, nodding slowly. “Looks like it.” 

The older boy was silent for a couple beats before standing up. The boy on the ground only stared, following the movement. “I’ll be right back.” 

He could only nod, watch the other boy stride down the sidewalk and reappear a few moments later, this time with a first aid kit in hand.  

The older boy resumed his spot in front of him, opening the kit and holding out a hand.  

He sat there, his own hands still on the ground, occasionally sparking with pain.  

“Your hand, kid.” The boy gestured again, and he finally moved, placing his hand in the other boy’s. He felt a shiver run through his body when the back of his hand hit his palm. It wasn’t bad by any means. It felt warm, and soft, like coming home.  

Slowly, the older boy dusted off the gravel on his hand, swiping an alcohol wipe over his palm before placing Band-Aids on the worst of the cuts. He set his hand down gently, picked up the other one and repeating the process.   

“There you go.” 

“Thanks.” He finally spoke again, and watched the other boy stand up and close the first-aid kit. 

“Try not to get thrown off your bike again,” he chuckled before giving a small wave and walking back to wherever he came from.  

He picked his bike back up, staring at it for a moment, his eyes moving towards the chunk of sidewalk that took him out. 

He walked the bike over it, making sure to clear the crack before getting back on and biking back home. 

- 

Buck was crying again. 

It was two weeks after Tommy had walked out of his loft, and subsequently his life. 

He’s now an owner of a KitchenAid stand mixer and probably getting close to being banned from three different grocery stores on account of how much flour and sugar he’s been buying. 

He’s working and when he isn’t working, he’s been baking. Trying to keep his mind off Tommy. 

But now, the red velvet cupcakes are baking in the oven, there’s red food dye drying on the counter that he can’t be bothered to take care of, and Buck is sitting against his island, tears running down his face as he stares at his phone, trying to write a text message. 

He got pretty far this time, some ramble trying to explain himself that filled almost half the screen (it was impressive he managed to type that much with all the water on his phone).  

How did this happen? It was going so well, six months together and it was wonderful. It was everything he wanted and more. And then he had nothing.  

Well, he had the red velvet cupcakes. That he didn’t even realise he’d started baking until he was pouring in red food dye. 

They were Tommy’s favourite. 

So, the loft smelled like red velvet, the food dye on the counter probably looked a little too close to blood, and Buck was crying because he missed Tommy so much. Why did he leave him? Didn’t he know he loves him, that he- 

Oh.  

Did Tommy even know that Buck loves him? 

The only sound heard was the sobs Buck was trying to choke back as his mind ran a thousand miles an hour. Did he ever tell Tommy he loves him? Did he ask him to move in and didn’t even say he loves him? 

Before he knew it, the text he was still drafting was forgotten as he tapped through his phone, bringing it up to his ear once it started ringing. 

It only took two rings, then “Ev- Fuck, Buck?” 

He was silent, his breathing hitching with a sob with every breath. He didn’t think this far, he hasn’t heard his voice in two weeks- 

“Evan?” Came Tommy’s voice again, and shit, he still hadn’t said anything, has he? 

“Tommy,” he breathed out. I love you, did you know that? I really, really lov- 

“Evan, are you alright? Where are you?” 

“Loft. I-” This time a sob escaped, and he couldn’t stop it, it was all too much. His loft smelled like red velvet, and he was hearing Tommy’s voice, and he just wants him here. 

“I’m coming over, okay? Don’t hang up, baby, I’ll be over there soon.” 

He nodded, then realise he wouldn’t see that. “Okay.” 

They sat in silence, broken up only by Buck’s choked back sobs or the occasional car passing Tommy as he drove. 

He didn’t know how much time passed, but a timer went off on his phone, and like he was on autopilot, he stood up and pulled the tray of cupcakes out of the oven. He set them on top of the stove, staring at red cakes. There was cream cheese frosting he’d made on the counter, but they still needed to cool, and he'd have to get a piping bag out so he could make them look like the ones they used to get at the bakery near Harbor. 

He let out another sob at the memory, sliding back down to the floor. The phone was in front of him, having put it on speaker long ago when he needed another hand to cry into.  

“Ev, baby?” Tommy sounded worried and it made Buck cry harder. He missed Tommy worrying over him, being with him, hugging him, kissing him. 

“I miss you.” 

A sigh, or maybe just an exhale. Then, “I miss you too, sweetheart.” 

He cried again. He missed him too. That’s good, that’s good, that means he can still fix this. 

“Pulling into the parking lot.” 

“Th- Door’s unlocked.” He’d gone out earlier to dump some trash, a great deal of flour bags. He’d forgotten about the door until just then.  

“Okay. I’ll be up soon.” 

It was quiet again, then the sound of a truck door being slammed. Buck didn’t move from his spot, not even when he heard the door to his loft open at the same time the call disconnected.  

“Evan?” And there was his voice, in person. He was here. 

“Down here,” he called out, hearing footsteps and then he was in front of him. He knelt down, two fingers hooking under his chin to get Buck to meet his eyes and he felt time stop when he saw Tommy’s face again. 

He looked tired, and sad. There was scruff around his chin, his hair was curly in a way that made Buck want to bury his hands in it. His eyes were the same blue, but there were read rims around them. Had he been crying too? 

“Are you okay?” 

Buck nodded, and then he was scrambling up, throwing his arms around Tommy’s neck and wrapping around him. Tommy sat back properly on the ground as Buck straddled him, arms going around Buck like second nature. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” he soothed, arms tightening just a little bit more. Buck whimpered; his head tucked into the crook of his neck as he breathed in Tommy.  

“I missed you.” A beat. “I’m sorry.” 

“Nothin’ to be sorry for, it’s okay.” 

But he needed him to know. He pulled away from his neck, not quite leaving his hold but needing to look him in the eyes. “No. I’m sorry. I should have said it better, or maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all, but I look at you and I just want it to be perfect because you deserve it. You deserve it to be perfect and I don’t know how to do it right. You mean everything to me, and I want you to be around all the time and I- I get it if you don’t think I’m worth it right now, I get it, I do, I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I just, I miss you and I hate not being with you and I’ve been crying because I miss you and I love you and I just- I need you to know that, okay. Pleas-” 

He didn’t register Tommy’s breath hitching when he heard him say it, but he definitely registered his lips on his, effectively ending his ramble. 

And Buck melted into it. It’s been so long and also not long ago that he had kissed him, but still it felt like that first time. He felt like he was coming home.  

“Evan,” Tommy said when he pulled away, his voice wrecked. “I love you too.” 

It sent another wave of tears through him, but this time Tommy was crying with him, brushing a few of the tears away. “I love you.” 

“I know, sweetheart.” He kissed his birthmark, cradling Buck’s cheek in his hand. “And baby, there’s nothing to forgive. You’re worth everything, Evan, a thousand times over.” 

Buck started shaking his head and then Tommy’s thumb was gently pushing against his lips, shushing him before he could even start talking again. “Yeah, you could have said it better, I mean, Evan, I own a house, you live in a loft. I’m sorry too. I should have handled it better too. I shouldn’t have just spiraled, freaked out and left you.” His eyes softened. “I love you. I do. It doesn’t need to be perfect; I don’t need perfect; I just want you.”

He nodded and for the first time since he entered his loft, Tommy smiled. Buck smiled as well. 

They were long overdue for a discussion on their last conversation that night. Tommy would go over his fears from past relationships, Buck would explain his thought process, and they would talk for hours about it all. About the last two weeks and six months and where that left them now. 

They would start with keys to each other’s places. When Buck’s lease was closer to running out, they’d start the conversation again about moving in together, this time properly, without any freakouts and breakups.  

But for right now, they’d sit on the floor in Buck’s kitchen, holding each other for the first time in two weeks. They’d hold each other and cry out their tears, and then Buck would drag them up to frost the cupcakes. They’d eat them on the kitchen counter and then fall into bed together, Buck tucked into Tommy’s arms. They’d both get the first good night’s sleep in two weeks, and they’d wake up in the morning knowing things weren’t perfect, but they weren’t as broken any more.  

It didn’t need to be perfect as long as they had each other, so the rest was going to be easy. 

[madridfangirl]

Star Crossed Lovers - Ch 18 blurb

Jude had an extended Christmas break, but Jobe didn’t, so the family flew in to Sunderland on 24th and Jude joined in that evening. Jobe interrogated him extensively about what went down in Madrid. Denise & Mark were curious too but Denise’s emphatic guideline to Mark was to just let Jude be. He’d talk to them when he’s ready. 

Jobe texted Ananya, while she was on the way to the cabin.

Jobe: 😊

It was simple, but communicated a lot of things. Ananya smiled & responded immediately.

‘Merry Christmas Eve. Sorry for stealing your brother but I sent him right back :)’

‘To you too. And thanks, but he’s yapping non-stop now, more than usual.’

‘Well, good luck with that.’

‘Yeah I’m mostly ignoring him & Dad. Mum’s completely ignoring them!'

Ananya smiled while trying to picture the scene.

‘Have a great Christmas, Jobe. See you soon!'

‘You too. See ya!’

Immediately after that, she received a text from Jude. He had texted her earlier when he had landed, and then when he reached home, which was 30 mins ago.

‘Wassup?’

‘On my way. You?’

‘Sitting by the tree. Will read the letters soon.’

‘Tonight?’

‘Yeah, we do it on Christmas Eve. The presents are also tonight, so to wake up happy on Christmas Day.’

‘Lovely. Have fun.’

‘You too. But not too much.’

She laughed out loud and Anna turned to look at her from the driver’s seat.

‘Will try. Bye now.’

‘Bye.’

The letters were lovely. The whole family was a little overwhelmed but Mark started to make some silly jokes about Jude’s handwriting, when Jude had expressly warned them not to, and Jobe joined in. Laughter & mock wrestles filled the room while Denise stayed perched up on the side, smiling at the 3 kids.

The presents were a long, long affair. Jude had gone well & truly overboard this time - wanted to celebrate the massive Madrid contract & everything else that had come his way this year with his family. Denise even admonished him a little for the overspending and Mark tried to figure out how he even managed that when all his accounts were under their supervision. Jude just smiled smugly, saying he had his ways.

They stayed in for dinner, preferring a cozy home-made meal by the fireplace. It was already 11 pm. Jude checked his phone. Her last message was at 8:30 pm, when she reached the cabin. His mind kept picturing what could be happening there, and if he had made the right call to nudge her to go. 

Nudge her? You practically threw her into his waiting arms.

Sometimes, Jude hated his mind for playing such cruel tricks. 

He needed to talk to her right now. Fuck maturity! Fuck pride!

Jude called. The phone kept ringing. He tried again. Same outcome. After 15 mins, when his mind was about to go into a full-blown overdrive (he was close to pinging Roma for Anna’s number), his phone flashed with a message from her.

‘Bad network here. Just saw you called?’

Well yeah he called. That’s how the calls got registered on her phone. 

Knowing fully well he couldn’t take that tone with her, Jude took two full rounds around his room before responding.

‘Yeah. Can we talk?’

He proceeded to stare at his screen for 1 full minute, then she called him.

‘Hey youuu.’

Jude could tell that tone from a million miles away. She was drunk. Bad idea, he needed her to be fully in her senses tonight. But, she was away celebrating with her friends and he couldn’t possibly hold that against her.

‘Having fun?’

‘Oh yeah. Just ate half a cake. Downed it with wine. In hindsight not a great call but hey.’

She was still using big proper words. Jude surmised she was more buzzed than drunk. Good, some respite!

‘Nice. What else is happening?’

‘Just eating & drinking & playing some music & a little bit of dancing.’

‘Nothing else?’

She smiled, getting his drift.

‘Nothing that I need to tell, like we discussed.’

‘About that, I changed my mind. Tell me everything.’

Not knowing was driving him up the wall. She knew he wouldn’t last long anyway.

‘Jude, we are just joking, bitching rather, about folks at work & some clients. Typical IB stuff.’

‘Hmm.’

She caught the annoyance in his tone. It was time to change the topic.

‘How did it go there? Your folks were surprised?’

That worked like a charm. 

............................................................................

Happy New Year folks :)

[letternotekisses]

KATIEEEEE!!!! KEEP WRITING MAUGA ONESHOTS/HEADCANONS, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS🙏🙏

i love how you write sm…

love you have this thought i had about barmaid reader and mauga <3

He's here again.

Always sneaking glances at you when he thinks your back is turned, or while you tend to a gaggle of giggling patrons swathed in pink feather boas and cowboy hats, here on a hen do. You took little notice of Mauga the first few times, that was, until he started showing up a bit more often.

You upkeep a good reputation in this bar - warm, homely and familiar until the odd troublemaker comes around and you have to put on a brave face - and it's on one of those nights that he finally introduces himself instead of eyeing you up like a cut of fine meat.

It's nearly closing time and you could practically sing with joy at the thought of getting home and into your nice warm bed, supressing a small yawn as you idly clean a glass, calmly surveying over the last few dwindling customers until the door swings open and smacks against the wall loud enough to nearly make you drop your glass.

You sour almost immediately because you've seen this guy before. In fact, you've barred him before for starting fights with some of the other patrons - including the cook on his day off. Unfortunately for you it seemed he'd come back with a bit of a vengeance, sitting down at the bar and clicking his fingers in your face for a drink.

Unbeknownst to you, Mauga had stopped swirling the little umbrella you put in his drink the moment he caught you sneering at the new arrival.

You snarl and dump your rag on the bar unceremoniously, demanding that he get the fuck out of your bar and fixing him with a hard, ornery look that hopefully gets your message through to the drunkard across you.

(It does in fact, not. And when his meaty fist starts heading for your face at the speed of light, you wonder bitterly if the outcome could have ever been any different?)

Except the collision never comes, and when you crack open an eye you're pleasantly surprised to see that Mauga had intervened, his usual grin forgone and replaced with an eerily stormy look that you weren't sure you should be scared or turned on about. You're all too happy to let him deal with it, chucking the patron out onto the concrete all too harshly before he turns and offers out a big burly arm to walk you home after you close.

He screamed trouble, something you'd always hated at this job. But there was something so dangerously enticing about Mauga that you felt a little guilty about, like you shouldn't really be mixing with him but you are anyway. Grabbing your coat and locking up almost as swiftly as you'd taken his arm, letting him charm your ear off all the way home until you stop outside your dingy little apartment.

(Mauga tries not to let his eyes betray him, because the thought of taking you home where you'd have much more space to be bent over crosses his mind much more than once. Although, for the meantime he supposes your coffee table will do.)

Inviting him in for a nightcap wasn't the best idea, but it was the least you could do considering he'd saved you from a black eye earlier. A few drinks later and he's already got you against your kitchen counter, melting like putty in his hands as he pulls you in deep for another steamy kiss.

A few more and you're waking up frazzled and late for work, with surprisingly no regrets and a sore throb in-between your legs, you don't linger on the fact that he wasn't there when you woke up. Getting on with your day until it's time to close up and you catch him waiting for you outside when you're locking up for the night, grinning salaciously with a toothpick placed precariously between his teeth.

What was that phrase again? Trouble tends to follow you or something?