#what a fucking time to be a merc

[msmc-796-official]

Correspondences from Pilot NET #5

[BEGIN CHATLOG]

Expiritus_Sancti: ...something is not right...

70KU-N4H-W4: P! are you alright? we thought we had lost you; what's going on?

Expiritus_Sancti: Everything- everything is- Shoddy? Is that you? I-I'm alive? Oh thank RA, everything's gone to hell, it's-

calibanhammer: Slow down, Phoenix. You're still semi-dissociative. Are you okay?

Expiritus_Sancti: Y-yes, I'm fine. The Albatross got me out safe, but... it's bad. Chernobog beat me there. I was too late.

calibanhammer: Backtalker is dead, then?

Expiritus_Sancti: Presumably - Commodore's entire block was already thoroughly destroyed by the time I got there. Whatever Backtalker was looking for is obliterated by now. They succeeded.

calibanhammer: That would explain the comms blackout, then. After you went off in pursuit of that signal, there was a company-wide comms blackout for CMC - everyone lost contact with everyone. Slipshod and I had to get out of our cockpits to contact Dancer and Sawbones; they were both fine, despite the damages, but by the time we were able to talk things over, Commodore had all but disappeared from the battlefield.

70KU-N4H-W4: comms are back online now, but nobody on any side can get hold of Commodore. we think she may have blacked out comms on purpose after getting the news - it ain't good, regardless. if what Backtalker was saying was true, and what got destroyed really was her last remnant of Sylvia...

Expiritus_Sancti: ...we think Commodore went off the deep end?

70KU-N4H-W4: sure fuckin' looks like it. I think the rest of her team has too, actually - do you recall Commodore talking about how she hated being called "mercenary queen"?

Expiritus_Sancti: Vaguely; why?

70KU-N4H-W4: every motherfucker in the company is using some variant of "glory to the mercenary queen" as their sign-off now, instead of the usual "till legends bleed". real fuckin' ominous. feels like a threat, and I can't be sure it ain't also aimed at us as well as Backtalker - or, rather, the conglomerate of traitorous assholes calling themselves Backtalker

calibanhammer: Some context - Slipshod managed to trace some of those ID Expunged messages back to their sources. They all come from different areas in CMC territory. Some from public access boxes, other from personal intercomms, and still others from third-party devices. "Backtalker" isn't a person, it's a movement: in short, there's been a full infiltration of CMC right under Commodore's nose, and their revenge has finally hit home.

Expiritus_Sancti: ...Christ-the-Buddha almighty. So we've been being lied to this entire time. Fuck.

70KU-N4H-W4: not only that, but I've got word now that Z has decided to sign on with CMC right in the middle of this whole mess. (wish I was kidding, but Z's case worker is literally online discussing the details as we speak.) apparently Signal wants to hire our lawyers on to deal with whatever mess that whole ordeal is gonna come with, which just reeks of desperation and bad decisions

Expiritus_Sancti: Oh, absolutely not. Kennedi, get on call with Legal immediately; tell them to deny any and all offers made by CORSAIR Mercenary Company until we give them further notice. If they ask for details, tell them that CMC is currently compromised by internal sabotage, and anyone claiming to represent the company at this time might seek to further incriminate CMC as a legal entity.

calibanhammer: Roger that, Phoenix.

Expiritus_Sancti: As for you, Slipshod - get in touch with Command. Tell them we're coming back to base. The longer we stay here, the higher risk there is of becoming graywash fodder.

70KU-N4H-W4: way ahead of you, P - Command gave us the all-clear to disembark a while ago

Expiritus_Sancti: Phenomenal. The Albatross are busy dealing with Chernobog; hopefully they'll be alright fending it off long enough for us to get out. I can ping them later and give them a status update.

70KU-N4H-W4: ...I'm gonna assume we're calling the brawl off until further notice, then?

calibanhammer: The call has been made; Legal has been notified. At this stage, the brawl is no longer relevant - the safety of CMC and ourselves comes first. Dancer and Sawbones have already been informed as much; their damages are fixable, as are ours. For now, we mount a tactical retreat back to base and prepare for the inevitable backlash from CMC for cutting off their legal lifeline.

Expiritus_Sancti: Right. Let's get out of here. We stay any longer, and the Requiem might just turn into a graveyard.

70KU-N4H-W4: with the way things look, it might as well already be one, P. that being said - you don't think we're gonna be on call if someone's gotta take down a feral Commodore, do you?

Expiritus_Sancti: I don't know. Given how much SecCom-era technology CMC utilizes, plus whatever tech Z brings to their table... this may not be a fight we have any chance of winning.

calibanhammer: Agreed. A storm brews on the horizon; best we take shelter while we still can.

Expiritus_Sancti: ...couldn't have said it better myself. C'mon, girls. Let's go home.

[END CHATLOG]

[giantkillerjack]

I saw a post complaining about people acting like Betty is some kind of poor little girl taken advantage of by her situation. And while I haven't seen this happening myself, it does make me laugh to think about because like,

Ma'am, that woman nearly killed everyone in the world *TWICE* trying to save her husband, INCLUDING TRYING TO MURDER ICE KING.

That woman has a body count that nobody asked her to make! She is just! So good! At crimes!! And we love that for her!!!

#girlboss #golbboss #God-Forbid-Women-Do-Anything

[cybercasket]

Guys. Guys Ben Drowned's canon last name isn't actually Lawman

I've known this for a while, and more I think about it, the more it makes me feel like I should say something 😭

It was a misconception that started with an older version of Ben's page on the Jadusable Wiki. (It was never used for any non-ARG version of Ben prior to this.) I remember spotting Lawman being used as Ben's last name around 2016-2018 or so, and it has been edited out of his page since 2020. (It was on the page they have for the dead child rather than the Network/entity. I think it might've happened before they moved off Fandom wiki, because I think I remember seeing comments and their new wiki doesn't have those).

During the second arc (2011-2012), Jadusable mailed some bonus material to people who donated to him. One of these bonus materials was a section from a newspaper, which describes the murder-suicide of two members of the Lawman family along with their son, with some tampering to the article that appears to have been done by BEN.

You can zoom into the image and read it, or check out it's page on the wiki here (which I highly recommend as it has some added information, like what all the censored words are.) It's a very interesting piece of lore that's fun to analyze--however, I wouldn't recommend reading it if you're super squeamish or sensitive to graphic details related to death. (The method of the killing itself isn't mentioned.)

While this seems to be about Ben on the surface, it's actually not. The only way we can tell is by the date of the newspaper: In the column to the left of the "Spring Is In The Air!" paragraph, the year 2011 is mentioned, but we know that Ben died on 4/23/2004. The wording of the Lawman event feels recent (as if they're talking about an event a few months prior), when Ben's death would've been far gone by now.

With what's likely BEN tampering on the top right (where they creatively use block-out poetry to say "You shouldn't have done that," among many other things) combined with the mention of someone's son dying, it makes a ton of sense that the wiki editors assumed that Ben is a member of this Lawman family that appears here. At some point, screenshots of the wiki ended up being circulated and the larger Creepypasta fandom accepted Lawman as being Ben's "real" last name.

Lawman is actually the last name of a different (and much less relevant) character, Tyler, who appears briefly in the first and third arcs. It's not entirely clear what happened to him or his family, and I think the Newspaper Article is intended to be fun bonus material for Jadusable's donators rather than something that's meant to supply important information about the ARG characters--something like Ben's last name would be crucial for puzzles and passwords, and would give the 50 donators who received the article an unfair advantage (and Jadusable isn't the type of creator who'd be okay with that). Regardless, it carries some interesting implications about the Behavioral Event Network, and Matt's initials are also here for some reason. It's probably one of the most head-spinning materials in the whole game.

[waterme-stories]

Valentine Vuong is a transfemme they/them enby, I am not accepting criticism at this time 😇

[f1-ferraero]

A fucking reprimand... unprecedented starting procedure infringement, potentially extremely dangerous with people on track, and it's a fucking reprimand

[y-rhywbeth2]

Who decided the drow should have so much fucking lore anyway.

('I should've been a drow.' You can't fucking stand Cazador or your 'siblings' you would not fucking want to be a drow. Although I guess Astarion would make a fair Vhaeraunite.)

[ruvviks]

what is the event/main cause that made roksana cut her mom off?

now this is interesting to talk about because it would be a very gradual process spanning over many many years but it would all come to explode during the events of the broker, despite that fic focusing on vitali; the events of that fic affect his whole family even though it doesn't elaborate much on the effects on his siblings. i initially had several chapters dedicated to roksana but had to cut it short and put it all in one chapter only but when i go for the rewrite i'm putting all of the initial ideas back because it's IMPORTANT. she and vitali are so similar in so many ways but also not at the same time. anyway ok yes here we go

so for roksana specifically she's kind of been a background character in the family ever since she was young. you'd think that after two other kids her parents would know how to parent her correctly but instead they just kind of let her do her thing and she got away with everything, which was nice in a way because it gave her freedom within the house itself but outside of that there was just nothing there for her. with the whole world to her disposal but nobody there with her to help her or keep her company through it all life just got suffocating to her in a way :(

she felt trapped in her family and her brothers always got the spotlight (mostly negative attention, since mainly their mother nadya was always just angry at vitali and after vitali left home daniil just kind of became her new therapist; but roksana did not really pay attention to this, all she saw was her brothers getting attention and not her), so roksana ended up fitting herself into all the boxes her parents wanted her to be in just to get some attention from them and get the love that she deserved. she was the family's poster child, but at the same time this whole role was an act of her, acting the way people expected her to act to get some respect and it was actively chipping away at her psyche, it stopped her from actually growing up and becoming her own person if that makes sense?? her personality was just fabricated specifically for her parents. but that's not who she was or wanted to be. but she knew nothing else

roksana and her father matvey have always had a very professional relationship. he was always busy with work and didn't do a lot of parenting so roksana came to see him more as a guy who lived under the same roof as her rather than her father; in the broker this escalates with matvey seeking revenge against vitali and roksana getting dragged into it and becoming a messenger girl in it all, but by then she's entirely neutral towards her father so there's not even bad blood between them when she stops talking to him; he's just a stranger to her. this is what much later allows her to hesitantly come back after vitali and matvey have made amends to try and build up that relationship again

roksana and her mother nadya however are a different story. the main difference is that roksana always hoped that nadya would understand; that she would understand the position roksana was in and understand her anger and her misery and her sorrows and regrets and that she would try to make it easier for her, give her some relief from the burdens she had to carry. but nadya refused to listen to roksana and refused to take her seriously (much like how she had always treated vitali; important to note that vitali is a trans man and to nadya he was still "her daughter"), not allowing her to show any sort of weakness because she herself had by then long killed her own weaknesses within herself and she expected roksana to do the same

and nadya got what she wanted. roksana grew up a cold and bitter woman, she let her anger win (contrasting vitali who after all this time STILL chooses kindness; if the roles for him and roksana had been reversed, though, he would have turned out the same as her, but the contrast and parallels between vitali and roksana is a story for another time) and she knows it's nadya's fault and she HATES her mother for it. she hates what nadya turned her into and she hates that she never got a normal childhood and she wants nothing more than to get out of there. this is why she vanishes from night city after her appearance in the broker fic, and why initially it is entirely unclear if she'll ever come back

so basically to summarize, nadya robbed roksana of her childhood and her softness and her ability to become her own person by forcing her to be the poster child of the family, and in classic dobrynin family fashion roksana tends to take grudges to her grave, so i don't really see her forgiving her mother for it any time soon. add to that the fact she sees nadya as the cause the entire family started crumbling apart in the first place (whether or not this is true is at this point very hard to tell because like, how far can you trace something like this back and who can be held responsible for what etc etc, but especially taking into consideration she never respected vitali's identity which is what drove him away from home, then did not allow him to reconnect which is what got him into arasaka, and THEN pushed matvey to get revenge after vitali indirectly got them fired at said corporation, and all of THAT is what drove daniil away from home and what caused roksana to change so drastically i'd say it's safe to say she is one of the bigger players in it all LMAO) AND doesn't feel comfortable around her anymore after her affair with ravager (nadya did that while still being married to matvey; they're divorced now), and there you go. mother privileges have been revoked

that being said, roksana does wish things were different. she stuck around for much longer than her brothers did almost in an attempt to fix things?? which again parallels vitali with how he also ends up trying to fix things in the broker fic but basically both of them fail and that's why roksana ends up leaving, she doesn't see the point in staying anymore because there's nothing there for her anymore :(

she does eventually come back to reconnect with vitali (most of their past beef was caused by twisted perspectives of the other's life at home as a child + daniil's rancid behavior bringing out the worst in both of them) and matvey (what i said earlier about them being strangers; no bad blood so an attempt can be made), but nadya has been cut off entirely and so has daniil for roksana because of how similar he is in his behavior to their mother, i talked a bit more about that here

this got very long i am so sorry i am positively insane about this family and all the dynamics. basically the tl;dr is that nadya gets worst mother of the year award forever and always

[vulpinesaint]

i look like a fucking painting by the way. you may not know this about me but the planes of my face and the way the colors on my face blend together and the way my eyes look in the light are god's perfect ideal. just thought i would let everybody know

[chai-en-kaadhale]

i should draw the oc™️.... but i have hw.... but i wanna draw the oc™️.... but im already working on something.... that i cant finish bc i have work....

[scarlet-streak-rambles]

Thanks, I fucking hate it

[the-physicality]

.

[lewishamiltonstuff]

Honestly getting that heated over a poorly sourced rumor isn’t worth your time

I'm over here, surrounded by 100 candles, manifesting Newey to Ferrari.

[sturnsdarling]

“Take it”

You and Chris have had sex a thousand times, but this time, after a dirty comment you thought nothing of, Chris’ secret obsession comes to light

vibe check: pure smut, chris with a size kink, a tiny thing about it hurting in a good way, dirty talk, bigdick!chris, chris with a praise kink?, pet names, praise, creampie, reader cums from pen alone (the hayley's comet of sexual occurrences)

1k words

A/N: I saw this and i knew what i had to do…BIG DICK CHRIS🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

love and cigs, merc

You and Chris were lost in ecstasy, one leg draped over his shoulder as the other hung round his waist. His head was rested against your knee, his perfect teeth grazing the bone as he thrust in and out of your sopping pussy, your walls milking him with every movement.

Your moans filled the room as his tip poked at your g-spot, pressing that perfect button over and over again. He groaned at the sight of your fucked out face, your mouth hung open as guttural sounds left your lips, cries of Chris' name rolling off your tongue as he nipped at the skin of your knee, lost in the feeling of your tight pussy around him.

"you feel so fucking good, baby" he groaned, his hand gripping at the flesh of your thigh as it rested on his hip.

You could only moan in response, reeling in the way his cock stretched out your walls, the sting being nothing compared to the bliss you felt as he relentlessly fucked you.

"so fucking pretty, taking me like this, so so pretty" Chris continued, rambling.

"mphm, Chris, you're so big" You moaned, thinking nothing of it as you spoke, his size being the only thing in your mind in that moment.

Chris' eyes snapped open, locking in on yours instantly as he continued to fuck you, something about your words making his brain tingle.

"whatcha say, ma?" he said, slightly breathless.

"you're so-" you cut yourself off with a moan, "y'so big, Chris"

Chris near enough growled, biting down on your knee before looking down to the bulge forming in your stomach as he pounded into you. He knew he was big, and he loved how well you always took him, but you'd never told him now big he was, and he never knew that was something he wanted to hear.

"say it again f'me" He slowed his pace, but increased his temperament, his hips slapping against yours with a sting as he thrust in and out of you, slow and hard.

You couldn't help but moan at the change in tempo, head craning back into the pillow, your mouth slung wide open.

Chris hand came to your jaw, pulling your head back to look at him with your cheeks gently squished between his fingers.

"tell me again, baby" He cooed, his tone stern but words soft.

"you-" you stuttered, "you're so big, Chris, stretching me out so fucking good" your brows were knit together, trying to get out every word coherently.

Chris groaned, fucking into your tight pussy impossibly hard, watching your begging eyes as he did. your words had set something off in him, and he was past the point of no return.

"you like it when I stretch you out like this? huh, princess? you love taking my big cock?" Chris questioned, eyes trained on yours.

"mhm" you moaned, biting down on your lip, "I love it, Chris"

Chris lowered his gaze to the bulge in your stomach once more, watching as his tip took fleshy shape in your skin. He couldn't help but moan, obsessed with how well you took him.

"y'take it so well, ma, y'take my cock like a lil champion, huh?" He muttered, looking back to you and brushing his thumb over your wet, plump lips.

You parted your lips, letting him slip his thumb into your mouth as he pressed it against your warm tongue. You wrapped your lips around his digit, sucking it with a moan as he pulled out of you almost completely, only to thrust back in with a brutal slap of his skin against yours.

He tugged at the flesh of your thigh, pulling your other leg over his shoulder and pressing your knees to your chest, his thumb leaving your mouth with a pop.

The new position gave him the perfect opportunity to hit you even deeper than before, his dick pressing into your cervix with a blissful ache.

"fuck, Chris, it hurts so good" you mumbled, tears pricking at your eyes at the ache of your contorted body, and Chris' weight pressed against you almost completely.

"be a good girl, and take it" Chris spat, setting a rapid pace into your perfect pussy.

He was relentless, pressing your legs tight against your chest as he laid almost all his weight down on top of you. His length thrust in and out of you, the sound of your juices mixed with the slap of his skin against yours acting as a backing track to both of your moans.

"give it to me, give it to me, give it to me" you moaned over and over again, unable to form a thought other than that simple request. Something about the dirty talk, mixed with the feeling of Chris' weight on you and his big dick stretching you out made that familiar knot tighten in your stomach, your whole body tingling as every hair on your skin stood on edge.

Chris was a moaning, whimpering mess, the sound of your begging making him feel lightheaded as he pounded into you. Your slick walls were clenching around him like a vice, and he knew he was done for.

"cum with me, princess, cum all over my big cock like a good girl" Chris said though gritted teeth, his tone somehow still soft and caring despite his pace.

As if on command, his words sent you over the edge, and with a cry of his name, you released sticky juices all over his length, the squelching sound of him fucking you through your toe curling orgasm making him reel.

He was seconds behind, filling you up with his cum, fucking it into you as he stuttered above you, pressing his weight further down onto the backs of your legs as he gripped and tugged at any skin of yours he could reach.

Your breathless moans filled the room as he stilled inside you, letting his cum soak into your walls and his length, unable to bring himself to pull out. His hand came to your hair as he rested his head against your leg, trying to catch his breath with fluttery eyes. You leaned into his touch, humming at his soft caress.

"so" you said, giggling slightly, "you like it when I tell you how big you are, huh?" you cheesed as he opened his eyes.

Chris chuckled and shook his head, pushing strands of sweaty hair out your face, "don't start" he grinned.

taglist: @sturniozalt@mattslolita@shaquilles-0atmeal@blahbel668@sleepysturniolo@le4hsblog @sarosfilms @joemamaaa42069 @2muchofaslvt @seluky10 @cherib3lla @jetaimevous @witchofthehour

[kinos-fortress-2]

i hate how difficult is drawing medic. i hope he dies and explodes i can’t fucking draw that man. why his face is the most difficult part.

[dilf-c0nn0isseur]

deadpool fucking you in front of a mirror👀

blessss this is so good🤌 hopefully I did your request justice!

man in the mirror - deadpool x fem!reader

NSFW! MDNI!

Deadpool always seemed horniest after a successful mission, returning to the apartment to find you waiting for him, ready.

And that's how the two of you got to where you were right now- him settled into the couch with you riding him cowgirl style. Hell, today he was so impatient to get his dick inside you that he hadn't even bothered to change out of his suit.

Plus, he knew you liked it when he fucked you while wearing it.

"I really gotta give it to ya babe," he chimed while watching you bounce up on down on his cock. "That pussy of yours is fantastic!"

Sex with Wade was oddly full of laughs, because he really was true to himself and did not ditch that 'merc with a mouth' act.

You let out a breathy laugh as you slammed back down on his lap. "You act like this is the first time you've had it," you quipped back. His hands were currently folded behind his head, leaving you in full control. He watched every movement of yours behind his mask.

"Sorry sweet stuff, pussy's just so good I can't help but forget!"

You giggled and continued your work, but his hands grabbing your hips took you by surprise. He stood up whilst managing to keep his cock from slipping out of you. "Watcha doing Wade?"

He crossed the apartment swiftly to the bathroom, nudging the door open with his shoulder. "We're gonna watch this little show we're putting on together." You raised your eyebrows, his sudden switch up furthering your arousal.

He continued his remarks as he slid you off his hips, positioning you so that you were bent over the bathroom counter, facing the mirror. "Trust me baby, you are gonna love this." His gloved hand reached up your curved back and tangled your hair between his fingers. "I mean, it'd be cruel of me to keep this view from you." He was now lined up behind you with his cock, still wet from just being inside of you, parting your folds. He held up his hands, index and thumb out, one eye squinting, as if checking to make sure the shot was right. "Perfect."

You laughed at his commentary while he had been perfecting the position, but the sudden feeling of his cock pushing into your cunt caught you off guard and you gasped. "Fuck Wade!" Your eyes closed from the pressure. He saw this in the mirror, and tsk'd, "Nuh-uh-uh babe, eyes stay open for this." You did as he said, opening your eyes just in time to see him wag is finger back and forth in the mirror, a motion that said 'nope'. "Wouldn't wanna miss this show."

A grin crept onto your cheeks. He was right, you definitely didn't wanna miss this. Watching him standing behind you with his hands gripping your hips, pounding himself into you, practically rearranging your guts, it drove you insane.

His fingers dug deeper into your skin as you rocked back on him, forcing him deeper. "Damn you are naughty!" You let out a loud squeal as he slammed harder into you, as if to one up your last move. You grabbed the counter to steady yourself. A string of profanities fell from your lips, along with his name. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm gonna cum, Wade!"

Without stopping his movements, he began to dig in one of the pockets of his suit. He grunted as he searched for what he wanted. "One second babe," he said. "Hold that thought."

Finally, he pulled out what he was looking for. "Ah-a!"

Was that- his phone?! You could not imagine what he would be doing with that out right now, until he held it up, his camera open.

"Alright princess, go on."

Thank god he said that, because you couldn't hold your orgasm back a second longer. Right at the height of your climax, you heard a click from the camera on his phone. That fucker just took a mirror picture of him fucking your brains out, your face caught mid-orgasm.

Hot though, you had to admit.

As if that wasn't enough, he swiped up on his phone, continuing his charade, reviewing the picture. "Oh that's getting framed for sure."

Once he had the picture saved to his favorites, he focused back on the real task at hand. "Alright hon, my turn." His pace quickened and your face contorted in pleasure again, walls tightening around him. He let out a loud groan at this feeling and you felt him twitch inside of you as his rhythm began to fall apart.

"Fuck- hold it- hold it-"

He slammed into you, once, twice.

With his third thrust he released himself in you, cum coating the walls of your pussy. You moaned with him as he road out his climax. Once he had milked himself completely dry inside of you, he slowly pulled out, and gave you a firm slap on the ass. "Hey!," you giggled.

"Next time, I'm gonna make sure to get a shot of that ass."

[softfem-dom]

the four times they asked about his sidekick, and the one time he realized why. (pt.1)

worst!logan + d&w!deadpool x suicidal!reader

a/n : okay this is sad and emotion-driven asf, so if you're sensitive to suicide mentions or emotional trumoil and problems of self-worth please do not continue reading this. Also warning for suicide description for the other universes' sidekicks. first part out of five!

wc : 2k

TW FOR SUICIDE , TW FOR DEPRESSION , SOFT!WADE , SOFT!WORST!LOGAN , WADE BEING UNABLE TO LOOK AFTER A KID , HEAVY/MULTIPLE BATMAN AND JASON TODD REFERENCES , DEADPOOL VARIANTS FUSSING OVER READER. soft!worst logan . overprotective!deadpool . only-deadpool-still-with-sidekick!wade wilson

Think of Batman and Robin.

Yup. Now turn and twist it around some more and make it.. more chaotic, more unhinged. More morally questionable.

And then think of Deadpool. The merc with a mouth. The dude that chose a red suit just so he didn't have to bother about the red stains.

And then add up a teenager to the recipe. As chaotic as the man, maybe a bit naïver. And you've got Deadpool and his sidekick.

Because if all cool superheros had sidekicks, then Deadpool —albeit while not actively being a superhero. Had to have one too, didn't he?

And that's how you had ended up roped into all of his unethical adventures, killing off the bad guys that had the highest price above their head and helping Deadpool run the official Spideypool fanwebsite.

But, despite how many masks you put on, despite how many bad guys you killed, despite how many times you had saved someone. You were still just you.

A teenager. A teenager paired up with an older, unhinged, mercenary that ran his mouth way too much and that got you into way too much trouble.

A teenager paired up with an irresponsible adult without emotional responsability was the fucking equivalent of throwing a trained lab mouse inside the first maze that didn't have an exist.

Wade cared about you. Yeah, you knew that. But the problem was that you were a teenager and teenagers needed a certain amount of care to grow healthyly.

Because physically you were great, with how much running around and being-at-the-verge-of-death you did. But mentally? God, then you were the messiest mess in the planet.

Spending so much time with someone that had so many intrusive thoughts, that spilled his thoughts without filter, had rubbed off on you.

And sometimes you scared yourself when sudden thoughts popped up in your mind. Like the sudden pull in your legs anytime you walked near the edge of a roof, the "jump!" that flashed across your head. Or the way you wondered, asked yourself, what it would feel to be stabbed when you were cleaning Deadpool's katanas. Or the way you started to throw yourself at danger's way just for the thrill of it. And if you died, well, there went nothing.

It was wrong. It was bad. And it was a totally unhealthy and toxic vice. You knew you were self-destructive.

But you didn't know how to do doing anything about it.

You see, if Deadpool wasn't so reckless and careless maybe you would've told him. But since he did it, you grew into your late teens thinking it was okay.

,,

Lately, your thoughts had grew more dangerous. More specific. And you were starting to get scared of yourself. In movies, that was how villians started —with destructive thoughts. And you didn't want to become a villian.

What would Wade think of you? He'd be disappointed in you, hate your guts, despise you.

So your mind jumped to the quickest—and most self-destructive—conclussion. Offing yourself before that happened.

And you had nearly 10 pages of your pink diary written with ways of carrying on with that plan. Glitter gel pen words scribbled about the knifes in the house—their lengths and sharpness—, about the belts stacked away in Wade's closet, about the height of the fall from the balcony to the ground. You had everything planned.

And Wade hadn't caught onto anything of it, except for the fact you seemed more twitchy and on edge than usual. He tied it to the usual teenage anxiousness that came with your age.

He didn't know this was the last mission he was going to have you in.

,,

He had just brought you along on this 'adventure' just like he had did with all of the ones before, except in this one there was another.. —reluctant—companion.

Logan Howlett. The Wolverine.

And not the dead hero that Wade had unburied a few days before. No. This one was the worst variant of Wolverine in the whole multiverse, the one from the timeline where he killed all of the X-Men.

And that Howlett was smelling something coming.

He could smell the irony scent of blood whafting off of you, a bitter scent choking his airways. Your scent was way too bitter for how cheerful you were, except maybe you weren't.

This Logan had only barely known you for two days, but if something were to happen to you he'd kill the responsible, then find a way to kill the mercenary and then find a way to kill himself too.

But, first. Stop, pause, rewind. How this did even start?

,,

You groaned as you helped Wade drag the uncounscious body of the drunk Wolverine you had found in a random timeline —the only one in which the dude hadn't tried to kill you at first sight. Entering through the door-shaped orange portal to the TVA room.

"one anchor being coming right up!" Wade's voice rang through the air before the merc, fully dressed in his suit, had crossed the portal.

You let out a startled squeak when the antihero pretty much threw the uncounscious body of the Logan on the ground, wincing at the metallic sound of his skull against the floor.

"Wade!" you hissed. "c'mon pumpkin', don't sweat it. He's full metal, remember?" he said as he gave the drunk Logan a kick in the side, the metallic sound echoing his words.

"listen here, babygirl" the merc started, looking at the unimpressed man before him. "this Wolverine has the he-can-do-anything-even-musical-stuff look to him and bonus he's actually wearing the accurate comic costume. So, uh yeah, there, timeline saved"

The silence coming from the dude that had called Wade here in the first place didn't sound too good get it?. And as you sat there, poking the drunk man's face with your index finger while whispering for him to "wake up, Wolvie, rise and shine, wakey wakey?"

"I don't understand"

"You said my, our" he pointed at you "universe is dying because this nutsack died, well, problem solved" he now pointed at Logan.

"oh my god" Paradox breathed out. "you actually think you can replace an Anchor Being with this?"

Oh, great. A rant was comming. Like the ones your mother goes on when you mess up too many times.

"I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine BT dubs. But you.. have outdone yourself and brought me the worst Wolverine in the whole multiverse!"

It looked as if the dude's temple vein was going to pop, and you weakly interveened. "what do you mean the worst one..?" you breathed out.

"This Wolverine let down his entire world, he's the stuff of Legend but not in a good way and what he did.. well, some things are just beyond forgiveness"

A beat of silence followed, you knew the Wolverine on the floor had been awake and listening for the whole time. But then, you saw Paradox finally looking at you.

"wait"

"what?"

"is that your little sidekick?"

The incredulous, and cruelly amused, tone of the man in uniform made Wade quirk an eyebrow under his mask.

"yeah, why?"

His words were followed by a booming laugh coming from Paradox. His hand going to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose, as chuckle after chuckle it just confused Wade and you even more.

"I can't believe you've still got her"

That was like a titty-flash for Wade, and not the good kind. He stood there, mouth gaping like a fish as he wildly and overexageredly gestured towards you.

"I gave you a chance at greatness, because my superiors deemed you special. But, I did my duty. I gave you the opportunity and you refused, so there's no more bussiness to do here"

And with that, and a strange remote control in his hand, he pressed a button and zapped you three off to somewhere. Leaving Wade with a strange taste lingering in his mouth.

Well, at least it seemed like your last adventure wasn't going to be boring.

(tags : @coocoocachewgotscrewed , @lokisloverisnthere , @krowsfoot , @lizziegraysworld , @r0reep , @beelzel-brat ).