#what a breath of fresh air in this sport like I don't think we even realised how much everything had been so stagnant the last year

[formulaonedirection]

young bold and hungry, making my case for giving franco colapinto a 2025 seat

[numberoneredriotfan]

It makes me really upset that Kirishima and Bakugou's friendship wasn't highlighted too much after season 4 or the shie hassakai arc. And I don't even mean this in a shipping sense. Kirishima was a HUGE part of Bakugou's character development even if it wasn't shown that way.

At first, Kirishima is introduced as one of the only people who can handle Bakugou and all his intensity- as well as his explosive (haha get it) personality. This is showcased more clearly in the sports festival arc.

Kirishima offers to be Bakugou's horse, because he's the only one that can handle his explosions with his hardening (which is probably the only quirk in 1-A that really effectively deflect Bakugou's explosions, so nobody else could really be in that position other than Kirishima.) Also, he without hesitation called Bakugou a dumbass and told him to remember his fucking name, even after seeing how angry he can get when provoked. And this isn't even the last time Kirishima does this. So Kirishima becomes someone who can handle Bakugou, but their friendship doesn't end there.

Most this development probably happened off-screen, but overtime Bakugou started to see Kirishima as an equal. Not just someone who could handle Bakugou and put up with him, but as someone who is able to stand by his side unwavering while also understanding his perspective to some extent (which I assume is rare for Bakugou, considering most other's view of him is either "what a jackass" or "wow he's so cool").

Which is why I really love this scene they added in the anime, which shows that Kirishima understands Bakugou, even if he seems like just an arrogant asshole. I think the only other character who understands Bakugou on that level is Deku (and of course his classmates learn to understand later on, but I'm talking about early on).

Kirishima was arguably the first person who Bakugou saw as an equal. Something I noticed about early Bakugou is that he either had a superiority complex or a inferiority complex with someone, and there was really no in between lol. That was, until Kirishima. Who came in as someone who neither above or below him. While Kirishima doesn't take any of Bakugou's shit, he also doesn't treat Bakugou like just a jerk.

This is of course, showcased best in the iconic Bakugou rescue scene.

This scene was honestly just such a good show of their bond, and how Bakugou sees Kirishima. Because as Deku pointed out, Bakugou wouldn't have taken anyone else's hand. We know this for a fact, as this was the same man who would've rather been kidnapped by villains then accept Deku's help-

So yeah. I fully believe if it was anyone other than Kirishima to reach out a hand to him, he would've straight up ignored them and would've tried to fight the villains himself. (Death is one thing but his ego is another apparently-).

It would be ignorant of me to say that Kirishima was the only one who understood Bakugou, because that's just not the case. Because as we saw multiple times throughout the series, Deku (as previously stated) understands Bakugou very well from the very beginning. However, while this opens up the gateway for a reconciliation with Bakugou in the future, Bakugou's complex feelings about Deku make it impossible for them to form a relationship based on that. Kirishima came in as a breath of fresh air, in which there was no lingering resentment or complexity involved. And of course, later in the series, we see the other members of class A understand Bakugou on that level as well. But in the beginning at least, Kirishima was the only person he could sort build that bridge of understanding with.

And even if it's never stated explicitly, I truly believe Bakugou wouldn't have opened up to relationships with his other classmates if it weren't for Kirishima befriending him. Or at the very least, it would've taken him a lot longer.

And the we have to take into accountability of how much their friendship has helped KIRISHIMA develop as a a character. As we can see, from the very beginning, Kirishima has a bad habit of comparing his quirk to the others of their class.

This isn't his fault necessarily, as in their society it's probably drilled into your head from a young age that you can only be a good hero if you have a flashy quirk.

And because of this, rather than looking at his own strength, he pays a lot of attention to how he compares to others.

So clearly, he's hard on himself and has a lot of self-esteem issues. (I am him. He is me-)

And it's clear he looks up to Bakugou a lot from just...Bakugou being Bakugou. Bakugou's a very forward person who jumps in without thinking (for better or worse), which is almost everything Kirishima wants to be. I honestly think that might've been- at least partially- what drew Kirishima to Bakugou. He wanted to be more like him, even if he wouldn't admit to himself. He, in a way, was putting Bakugou on a pedestal, even if he didn't realize that Bakugou sees him as an equal.

But then, Bakugou tells him this:

Which in the end, pushes Kirishima to reach his full potential, which came in form of unbreakable. Bakugou, who was originally someone he looked up to and admired, eventually became his motivation. His drive, even. And it wasn't just Bakugou, obviously, but Bakugou still contributed a lot.

And after all this, their friendship gets pushed to the side so we can focus on Bakugou and Deku's reconciliation. Which isn't bad! I love Bakugou and Deku's friendship as well! And I will say it holds a lot more importance to the plot of the story, and it wasn't necessarily a requirement to have Bakugou and Kirishima's relationship showcased more.

But still, I feel as though one could assume that once Bakugou got his character development from Kirishima, he didn't need anymore. Like he was just a stepping stone in order to reach his redemption with Deku. Which is just a sad way to look at their relationship :( and I truthfully believe that that just isn't the case. We did get a few crumbs, but even then we never got to see them talk one-one as friends after a while.

This isn't supposed to be Kiribaku propaganda or anything like that, and some of this will probably fall into headcanon territory and is just my interpretation of their characters. This also isn't me saying that their relationship is more important than Bakugou and Deku's, or Kirishima and Mina's, this is just more of a vent on how I would've liked to see more of their friendship.

Edit: just wanted to put this here as well

(From mha ultra analysis)

[g1rld1ary]

I feel like you’d eat up this idea so much but Camp Counselor James Potter!!

Where its semi frenemies to lovers after James unexpectedly becomes head camp counselor alongside reader, thus forcing them closer as they have to work together. I’d imagine James as a sports/swim instructor who the campers adore and reader as an arts and crafts teacher who James has liked for years since they met at camp (even before they became counselors.)

summer friends - camp counselor!james potter x camp counselor!reader

wc: 2816

cw: swearing, implied fem!r but i don't think any pronouns, alcohol, throwing up (once)

part TWO

first of all thank u so much for the compliment anon i hope i am doing it justice!! i actually love this idea and so there's gonna be more parts because i have so many fun lil camp ideas already HOWEVER we don't rlly have summer camps where I'm from so if u wanna see anything specific (activity/trope etc) please request!!! love u xoxo

It was stinking hot already. The clock in your car was broken so you weren't sure exactly what time it was, but you were sure it was too early to have sweat dripping from your brow. Nine, maybe. Still, nothing could bring down your present mood, not the sweat, not the early morning on a weekend, not even that your Fleetwood Mac CD kept skipping during The Chain. No, you were in the best mood you'd been in in a while and nothing could ruin it.

You were headed back to camp. Your camp. It was your first year as head counselor at the camp you'd grown up in and you were filled to the brim with excitement and drive to make this summer as magical as the ones you had growing up. Pulling into the dirt parking space you sighed contently, glad to be back where you belonged.

It was weird to see the camp almost empty. You'd been a general counselor before so you'd seen the camp without kids, but being one of the first there in the morning was peaceful. You waved cheerfully at one of the cooks who'd been working since you were a kid, laughing as he tried to return the gesture over the boxes he was hustling into the kitchen.

You broke into a jog to catch up with the camp director who you needed to meet with, smiling widely when he greeted you. You made small talk as he led you around the camp, giving directions to some of the staff setting up in between his extended spiel explaining your duties. You really were trying to listen but you couldn't help your eyes darting to each movement in the corner of your vision. The other head counselor should have been here already, and it wasn't like him to be late. Michael was one of the many kids you'd grown up with through summers, and he was just as devoted to camp as you were, so it wasn't surprising he also made head counselor, but it was surprising that he was now late.

"Where's Michael?" You asked when the director took a breath. He turned to look at you, one eyebrow raised slightly.

"Didn't we tell you? Michael had a health scare, he can't work this summer." You could feel your mouth hanging open. The two of you had been talking about this for years, dreaming of becoming the head counselors.

"So who's—"

"Nothing like the fresh air, is there?" Your shoulders tensed just by the timbre of it, you could recognise that voice anywhere.

"Potter," You turned to greet him, ponytail swinging behind you.

"No need for last names, love, I saw your braces phase," James retorts and you huff, rolling your eyes dramatically.

"Yeah, yeah, and I've got pictures of your acne. So you're really my partner this summer?" James didn't bother replying, his cocky grin saying it all. You felt the director's eyes on both of you and refrained from another snip in fear of it undermining your leadership, but still shot James a dead-eyed smile to let him know you weren't done.

You were dismissed to settle in until the other counselors arrived for briefing after a few other business matters (for which both you and James stayed civil and responsible) and all but ran to your car, eager to get the moving in part over with as quick as possible.

After so many years of making camp your home away from home, you'd pretty much nailed the routine of packing and unpacking, and your part of the four-girl cabin was taking shape very nicely if you did say so yourself. You even had time to stick up the photos you'd printed out, which usually took at least a week to happen. You were just wiping the sweat off your face with the hem of your t-shirt when someone cleared their throat. You didn't need to guess who it was.

James was leaning against the doorframe, looking unfairly unperturbed by the heat.

"Sorry your dream boy couldn't be here," He said and you couldn't quite tell if he was joking.

"Michael and I—"

"Relax, I was talking about your real boyfriend, remember?" You paused at his statement, studying your painted fingers intently.

"We broke up," You said quietly, not daring to look at James in fear of him teasing you about it. You consequently missed the flash of curiosity (and maybe relief) that passed across his features.

"Sorry," He said awkwardly, still under the doorframe.

"It's fine. He's a dickhead."

"I could have told you that last summer!" He laughed, then slapped a hand over his mouth as he realised it might have been too far. You managed a small laugh yourself, if only to make him feel better about his misstep.

"Yeah, yeah. Last summer you also thought swallowing gum would fuse your insides together."

"And I stand by that! You should just learn to listen to me," He crowed, eyes sparkling with mischief. You rolled your eyes again, pushing yourself off the bed to reapply your deodorant.

"If I ever start listening to you, take it as a sign I'm losing my marbles," You said, ducking under the arm James had stretched across the doorframe, "Now come on, everyone'll be arriving." You don't stop to see if he's following, marching out of your cabin and toward the dining hall where the counselors would convene. James watched you go for a moment with a soft grin before jogging to catch up and bother you some more.

The dining hall was already buzzing with energy and noise and the campers hadn’t even arrived yet. You smiled as you watched the counselors meet and mingle, some of them being kids you’d grown up with almost your whole life.

“Everything the light touches is our kingdom,” James’ whisper appeared from behind you.

“You are so lame.” You don’t bother looking at him, convinced you knew exactly what face he’d be pulling. “Now make yourself useful and greet everyone.” You might have been a little rude, but it was clear to you that this job wasn’t nearly as important to James as it was to you. Head counselor was something you’d been working towards since you’d started at camp, and you would like to keep the gig through college if James didn’t ruin it for you.

A booming noise silenced the room, and you were surprised to know it came from James. He started off the address for you outlining all the boring housekeeping notices you could recite in your sleep. They were almost exactly the same every year, except for James’ insistence on being the funniest in the room and making jokes after every other statement.

“As you know if you find any contraband in the camper’s belongings report it to the camp director, especially if it’s an illicit substance, as there may be serious discipline. However, if it’s alcohol, slip into into my cabin ‘coz god knows I’ll need a drink after dealing with the kids and this one.” He gestured over to you, receiving a ripple of laughter throughout the room. You grit your teeth, trying not to react and be the bad cop of camp.

“Just so we’re all clear,” You faked a laugh, “None of the campers or counselors will be ingesting or posessing alcohol while at camp. Right guys?” You locked eyes with the camp director, trying to bring him down from the conniption he was on the verge of. It worked, mostly, and you took over from James, shooting him a warning glare as you rushed to finish listing off the timetable for the coming evening and next day as campers arrived.

In his defence though, James wasn’t exactly wrong. Although the camp director could never ever find out for the sake of all your jobs, there was definitely a stash of alcohol that all the counselors contributed to and had access to, though strictly when there was no risk of campers or higher ups finding out. Like tonight. Every year before the campers arrived the counselors held a campfire right out in the forest; far enough away that there was almost no risk of the adult-adults finding them, but close enough that drunk walks back to the cabin weren’t quite impossible.

That brought you to the campfire. You’d been stuck in meetings and doing last minute admin all night and you really needed the break. You could only look at schedules and spreadsheets for so long anyway, add James to the mix and you were going absolutely crazy.

You’d snagged a spot next to Lily, hugging her tight as you reunited.

“I can’t believe you’re stuck with Potter,” She said, taking a sip from some ungodly drink one of the counselors had mixed. You laughed as you pulled away and greeted Remus quickly, taking the can of cider he offered.

“I’m just thanking my lucky stars it wasn’t him three years ago.” You shook your head resolutely, “At least now I’m sure he’s human. I just hate that he’s gonna make me bad cop all summer.” Remus cocked his head in confusion and Lily asked for clarification so you continued.

“You know, James is always the funny one, James is always the chill one. I’m the one who’s gonna have to spoil the fun and enforce the rules.”

“That’s not true though, you might be the one sticking to the rules but you’ve been here just as long. Everyone knows and loves you, and you’ll have just as much fun even if you aren’t quite as go-with-the-flow,” Lily said, a comforting hand resting on your arm.

“Prongs might surprise you,” Remus said, clearly taking a different approach, “I think when it matters he’ll step up to the plate.” You looked at him for a moment, considering his philosophy. You chanced a glance over at James to see him halfway through a game of beer pong — losing badly in fact, and sighed. If he, the head sport and swim counselor, was losing at a game consisting of throwing then he must’ve already been smashed.

He caught your eye at just the wrong (or right) moment and waved you over with such excitement that you excused yourself from the conversation to see what he wanted.

“Sirius needs a teammate,” He said simply, gesturing for you to go over and play. You shook you head furiously.

“So you’re asking the arts and crafts leader? I have zero coordination.”

“Yeah, and? You’re competitive and that’s all that matters. Consider it our head counselor bonding time.” You looked at James for a moment, weighing out the pros and cons in your head. You figured it couldn’t be that bad even if you embarrassed yourself, and you really didn’t want the other counselors to think you had a stick up your arse after getting the position. So, you reciprocated the high five Sirius had offered and got in position.

The game went shit, as could have been assumed. You really didn’t have an ounce of coordination, your throws missing most of the cups. Sirius was better, making your team at least not totally hopeless, but the two of you were no match for the machines that were James and Marlene — though both significantly worsened by their inebriated states. You were providing the trash talk though, which seemed to keep everyone entertained

“Ok new game!” James clapped after you’d downed the last drink, “Sirius, switch with me.”

“What! But I like my partner!” You high-fived Sirius again at his declaration, now sufficiently buzzed from the shitty beer you’d been using.

“Yeah, we’re doing just fine, Potter. Worry about yourself.” It came out a bit louder and more aggressive than you intended, but James didn’t seem to mind — none of you were sober enough to be picking up on the intricacies of human communication. James mimed a stab to his heart dramatically.

“You kill me,” He groaned, leaning on the folding table in despair. You laughed loudly, holding up your hand in the shape of an L to rub it in. After rubbing it in for a moment you conceded, stomping your way to his side of the table, patting Marlene on the shoulder as you swapped places.

“Alright, Potter, let’s get this round over with so I can kick your arse again.” James’ grin was practically blinding as he brightened up, getting ready to play another match. You might’ve been getting a little too competitive, but it was camp and you were drunk, so everyone around the table was matching your energy tenfold.

“Are you actually capable of getting a ball in a cup? You’re genuinely so terrible at this,” James laughed as he said it but you took it personally, shoving him aside.

“Piss off, dickhead. Just because you’re a big shot athlete or whatever.” You must have finally struck a nerve in James as he was quiet for the rest of the game, still much more skilled than you but his energy significantly dampened. Even when you won, he only offered you a weak smile and a pathetic high five. You felt bad for a moment and opened your mouth to apologise, but your inebriated brain was distracted by music playing, running over to Lily to ask her to dance.

You were at the stage of being drunk where everything was perfect. The day’s heat had mellowed out into a dreamy summer night, a soft breeze rustling the leaves above you all as you danced and drank, reuniting after a long year apart.

You might’ve overdone it slightly though, which found you a little ways away from the rest of the party, emptying your stomach into a bush where hopefully none of the campers would stumble across it. Looking past your unfortunate accident you caught a glimpse of a dark shape on the bank of the river. Narrowing your eyes you tried to make out who it was, but settled on getting closer instead. You hesitated when you made it out to be James.

“Hey, Potter. You alright?” You called awkwardly, a little unwilling to get too close.

“Hm?” He looked back at you, voice uncharacteristically quiet. “Yeah, fine.” You sighed. He was clearly upset about something and you couldn’t just end the conversation there, no matter how much you didn’t want to have a DnM with James Potter on night one of camp.

Reluctantly you got closer, taking a seat next to him. You watched the lake for a few minutes, black except for the silver from the moon. It was peaceful when there weren’t so many people around, it was one of your favourite things about camp, just being outside and disconnected from the rest of your life.

James broke the silence first.

“Do you… Are you mad that I’m co-head counselor?” You chanced a glance at him, surprised at the vulnerability in his voice. James wasn’t usually one to get sappy or personal like that, especially not with you.

“No?” You replied, “It wasn’t what I imagined, obviously, but it’s not like I hate you. You’re just mildly infuriating like 80% of the time.” James snorted, and you got the feeling he’d intended to wallow a bit longer. But James was James and he couldn’t stay moody for too long, it wasn’t in his nature.

“I can work with that.” He smiled his blinding grin, and you could have sworn you could see it reflecting off the water.

“We have to be a team though,” You affirmed; now was as good a time as any for you to address it. “I know that your whole bright and lively class clown thing is effortless for you, but I don’t wanna be the bad cop all the time, okay?” James was deep in thought for a second, then a cheeky grin crept onto his features.

“You think I’m bright and lively?”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes, but you weren’t sure you weren’t returning his smile. “Come on, let’s get to bed. Neither of us can afford to be hungover when the kids get here.”

You and James wandered back towards the cabins, both hazy and giggly from the lasting drunkenness and the (at least temporary) smoothing over of your tenuous relationship.

PART TWO

[katie190297]

The Lake

OminisxGN!reader, Prue fluff with mischievous Ominis.

One evening, you and Ominis spend some time together at the lake.

It was just before sunset. You had only been anxious to see your boyfriend Ominis after classes and dinner had concluded. He was a year older than you, which made it occasionally difficult. You needed him right away but hadn't seen him all day. Today hadn't been great.

As you enter the Slytherin common room, Ominis is sitting on a couch in the far corner with his wand extended and his eyes closed, appearing to be contemplating something. He still has a smile on his face despite his demeanor changing to one of seriousness. Ominis noticed you enter the room, but he doesn't seem to be aware of you as he keeps his eyes closed and is still thinking.

As you sat down next to him, you asked, "You OK, Ominis?" while rubbing his thigh. Ominis flinches as his eyes open and jumps at your sudden touch. His whole body tenses up as he jumps, his hands grip the wand tightly, and his expression is filled with fear. When he sees his lover, the fearful expression fades from his eyes and is replaced by one of relief and relaxation.

"You startled me, Oh, my love." As his breath came back into his body, he chuckled apprehensively. His eyes flitted, and he grinned once more. "What is it that you need, my love?" You expressed regret for upsetting Ominis by sporting an expression of sadness and saying, "I just came to see if you're OK, I missed you today," in a shy voice.

"Oh, please, my love, don't apologise." He gave a comforting smile. "You don't need to apologize; your touch startled me significantly, but it was a good startle, I assure you." With his other hand still holding his wand, he raises his hand and gently cups your chin in it. "My breath is taken away by your beauty." He whispers, his voice trembling as he feels your face.

You fumbled "Why to thank you Ominis" before grabbing his wrist and kissing his hand. He gives you a loving look as his eyes twinkle at you. His eyes seem to beckon you to sink further, drawing you in like a deep, dark pool. "What are our plans for tonight, my love?" He enquired while grinning playfully. "As they say, 'Your wish is my command,' and I would adore nothing more than to spend the night in your arms or wherever you choose. Is that asking too much?"

You wince, touching your head, "Can we maybe just go for a little walk somewhere quiet outside, I think the fresh air will help? I'm a little tired from classes today and have a small headache." He smiles and nods. "Of course my love." He speaks with a loving tone. "I'll do anything for you." He stands up off the couch and offers his hand. "Shall we?" He looks at you with love in his eyes and a beautiful smile on his face.

"Do you have any particular place in mind you'd like to walk to?" He asked you, keeping up an easy, friendly, loving tone to his voice. "I don't mind where we walk to. Just having the chance to spend some time with you is enough, my love. After all, I can't get enough of your amazing company, can I?" He smiles as he says this, a bit flirtatious.

"Can we walk to the lake? Maybe have a little swim?"

At the mere mention of it, his eyes sparkle with excitement. "Of course, my love." He says, winking at you with a sly grin on his face. "It sounds like a perfect plan to me." Ominis' grin widens as he speaks.

He smiles and follows you. "So, do you like swimming more than, say flying? He asks you, as they walk. He's holding your hand quite casually. "I'm a good swimmer. If I do say so, myself." He laughs a little bit. I'm sure you are too, of course. "I prefer to be on the ground yes you say with a chuckle and I just love being in the water, I find it very calming," you say. "I agree completely." Ominis smiles.

Just as they were talking, the two of you reach the lake. The two of you have walked down a few paths and the lake, it turns out, wasn't that far away. "Well, we're here. Are you as excited as me?" He asked, with a cheeky grin on his face. "Or do you need some time to get into your bathing suit?" He asked, making sure to say that last part with just as much tongue in cheek as possible.*

Swimming suit? You teased him with a chuckle, "I'm going to swim naked."

His eyes widen and he takes a step back at the revelation. He then smiles and laughs. "Oh, you are one adventurer." He says, with a grin at your nakedness. "Well, I suppose I may be doing the same. You ready to dip in?". "Let's go," you say as you seize his hand and pull him in.

"Alright, I like your style!" He says and follows you, walking into the water as you pull him in. "I suppose you like it here better than the prefects' bath," He asks, in a playful tone. Once they're both in the water, he turns to look at you, with a mischievous smile. "What do you say to a race? " He asks, with a twinkle in his eye. "Whoever wins is the better swimmer, what do you say?"

"I've always loved a dip in the moonlight and sure where are we racing too?" you ask. "Is the moon beautiful tonight?" he looks up into the sky with a thoughtful smile. "And as for the location. His eye twinkles for a moment. "There and back?" He gestures to the other side of the lake with his wand hand, "Or would you like to race somewhere longer? He laughed teasingly looking at her with a playful grin as he says it. "Sure we can race to the other side" you reply.

"Then let's get started!" "Are you ready?" Ominis asked joyfully. He questioned with a sly grin. I do, after all, want to win. With that, without giving any prior warning, he begins a very strong push toward the other side of the lake while swimming quickly and kicking hard. "My love, is this the best you can manage? He asked jokingly while swimming.

"Gaunt, come back here!" You yell after catching up to him and giggle. "Oh?" As you catch up to him, he asks with a sly grin. "You believe you can beat me?" He enquires while smirking at you. "I think you wouldn't be so confident in that. You know, I'm a good swimmer." He says this while swimming backward and chuckles.

Without missing a beat, he circles back and picks up the pace, sending water splashes your way as he goes. "Come on now!" He laughs. "I'm going to get you," you yell while giggling. "Is that so?" He asked, with an incorrigible grin. "Then prove it!" With an emphatic kick, he swam even faster, as if to prove just how fast he was capable of moving. "Don't think I'll make it too easy for you!" He chuckles again, enjoying himself too much to be fully concentrated on the race. His eye is fixed on you determined not to let you win.

You follow him as he speeds off but fails miserably. "You win" you manage to sputter out as you try to take a breath. Ominis halts and begins to tread water while grinning slightly and gazing at her. "My love, you really gave me a run for my money. There is no question that you are a strong swimmer. He remarks as he surveys her appearance while gasping for air. He then smiles more broadly. Yes, I won. He chuckles while maintaining his amusing demeanor. "Yes, you did win," you say with a glum expression.

You pushed on his shoulders, dunkings him in the water, and then swim away, saying, "You win that. Ominis, try to catch me now." you respond with a giggle.

"You dirty scoundrel!" His blonde hair is stuck to his forehead, and his eyes are twinkling as he speaks, laughing. "You want a race back to the shore?" He asks, trying to catch his breath, as he treads water. "You just might lose, again, if you want me to be serious." He chuckles, his eyes twinkling at you as he swims towards you and tries to grab you by the ankle.

"I'm not racing with you anymore" you sigh. "Oh?" He asked while maintaining a lighthearted grin. "Did you worry that I'd prevail once more?" His sly grin grows wider. "Or simply too worn out from the first run?" He poses the questions while maintaining the same lighthearted tone.

"Scared?" you scoff. !I just want to spend a little time in the water with you now." He chuckles a little bit. "Alright, alright." He says, a twinkle still appearing in his eyes. "I guess you get a break from racing me, any particular place you want to go or spend time in the water?" He asks, though his tone says it's more a rhetorical question than anything else. "Let's just stay here and enjoy the stars, shall we?" you ask grabbing Ominis' hand.

"The stars, huh?" he asks, with an enamored grin on his face. "Is it a beautiful night, my love?" he asks thoughtfully. "Is there a particular star you find the most interesting?" He asks, his playful grin turning into a loving smile as he looks at you. "Are you fishing for compliments, my love?" You ask with a giggle. "Because you know your my greatest star."

"Maybe I am," he says with a charming grin. "I suppose I may be a bit too obvious, but yes, I suppose you could say I am." He chuckles. "Do I get any compliments from you in return?" He asks playfully, raising an eyebrow at you in a mischievous wink. "So me calling you my greatest star and the brightest light in my life is not a compliment my love?" you ask with a frown teasing him.

"The greatest star, huh?"He asks, his mischievous grin returning. "I suppose I can be quite a shiny fellow." He adds in a playful way, laughing a little bit at his own joke. You burst into laughter trying to contain yourself. "Shiny fellow? What do you mean by that my love?" you manage to choke out between laughs. "You're my shining star because you always stand out like a shining star and you always brighten my day as you shine beside me but do explain what your shiny means," she asks mischievously.

"My gosh, you are really quite the talker, aren't you?" he asks with a mischievous grin, his face twisting up to show he's joking before he sighs, his smile turning a tad more serious. "You know, you're really quite beautiful, as well, just like a shining star," he adds, his mischievous grin turning into a loving smile. "And you light up the world, in the same way." he says, "Shining so wonderfully bright for all to see."

"Why thank you Ominis" you blushed, shy at the compliment. "Oh it's nothing," He says, "Just the truth." He laughs a little at how your blush, and the mischievous grin returns. "Though, you look a little shy. Is that so?"He asks with a playful grin, his eyes twinkling with that same mischievousness.

"Oh, Ominis you know how you make me feel my love." You turn away from him to hide your blushing face, red as a tomato. They had been dating for a while now but he still managed to make you giddy inside.

"Oh I do, do I?" He asks with a slight laugh, as he reaches out a hand to rub just over your shoulder in a gentle gesture. "Well, I may just have to do it again, then," he says with just a hint of mischievousness, his hand sliding from your shoulder to your back, and his eyes still twinkling in his face. "After all, your blush is quite cute."He adds with a small laugh.

You giggle not knowing what to say next but still turning away from him. "Well, you seem a little lost for words. I guess you're just so cute when you're flustered, love!" He asks teasingly, in his usual playful tone, though he was still as sincere as ever about how much he cared for you, his eyes still shining brightly as he turns to face you. "How about you come back and face me? I wanna see that blush again." He says, his eyes twinkling at you again.

"Noooo" you whine teasingly before turning back around and smashing your face into his chest and pulling him in for a tight hug. "Oh, someone doesn't want to show their blushing face, huh?" He asks, a playful grin still crossing his face, his tone of voice and eyes twinkling in a mischievous way as he pulls you in for the hug. "Well, fine. If you want to keep it from me!" He chuckles and hugs her back tightly. "I won't make you turn back around!" He says, hugging you tight and kissing the top of your head.

You lift her head up slowly from his chest and put his hand on your face so he can feel you. "Fine you happy now?" you sigh. "Now that I can see that gorgeous, blushing face again, I'm very happy!" He chuckles, his eyes twinkling again, as though he's got some more mischievous playfulness ready to go. But it also shows how very much he cares, the same affection returning to the light in his eyes as he continues hugging you. "You do realize you're only making yourself more adorable, you know?" he adds with a wink, as he gives just a single quick kiss to your lips.

As you return his kiss, his arm holds you in close as his breathing grows heavier. His tongue pokes at your lips and asks for more as his eyes filled with affection. His hand runs up and down your back and he holds your waist tightly and gently as their kiss deepens. As he pulls away for a moment, his face is clearly in pure bliss, his eyes looking down into yours with a love one could only know.

After the kiss, he finally breaks away looking at you with affection, his arm still holding you tightly. "I love you Ominis," you say, your eyes full of love "but we must get back to the castle now, it's getting quite late"

"Of course, my love." He says, the mischievousness in him still not fully gone. "You could always carry me, though." He asks, a charming grin on his face, his eyes looking at you affectionately. "Just an idea, in case you wanted an excuse to hold me closer." He gives you a kiss on the lips. "But only if you can lift me," He says with a mischievous wink.

"Ominis, you are much taller than me for start, how do you expect me to carry you?" you chuckle.

"Oh, I'm quite confident you can, love." He chuckles. We could just try it" he says excitedly, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "If you can't, I suppose I did warn you." He adds coyly. He doesn't seem to be trying to make fun of you though, just teasing her gently as he keeps them close. "Shall we try?" He asks, as though he's convinced it'll work. "Or are you afraid?"

"I will carry you back to shore" you sigh. "Oh thank you, my love," He asks, the mischievousness in his voice giving away just a little bit of disappointment that you don't want to try and carry him, but still he smiles down at you affectionately. "You're the best, you know that?" He adds, before letting out a laugh, kissing your cheek gently before kissing you again on the lips, his affection clear as day in his eyes.

You kiss him back before opening up your arms "Come here then" you say with a giggle. "With pleasure, my love."He replies, with a warm affectionate smile. He pulls you in tightly and lays a gentle kiss on your lips. After pulling away, he leans in again for another kiss, but this time, his tongue slips into your mouth as his hands hold you close. Finally, he pulls away with the mischievous grin again, his face filling with his usual mischievous charm. "Why are you so adorable?" He asks with a giggle.

You carry him to shore the best that you can, grunting and out of breath. He looks a little startled by your struggling, but soon he bursts into laughter at you having to carry him instead of the other way around. After a moment, he speaks in a playful tone. "So, what does this mean? Do you have to marry me now?" He asks, his eyes bright and his smile mischievous. "Just kidding. But you really do look cute when you struggle!" He adds laughing, squeezing you tighter.

"Hmmmm" is all you say in a little angry tone before dropping him and stumbling over him on the floor by the lake. "Hey! No need to get all grouchy over a little joke, okay? I was just joking!" He says, laughing as you drop him. But his laughter ends when he sees how angry you become when you fall down, and his face turns much more concerned.

"Love! Are you alright?!" He asks in a concerned tone, as he quickly gets up and helps you up, holding you in his arms. "I didn't mean to hurt you!" He asks, worriedly. "Are you hurt?!" You look at him laughing "Let's just put our clothes back on and head back to the castle" you chuckle buttoning up your shirt

"Sounds like a fantastic idea to me!" he replies with a mischievous wink, but otherwise, a loving smile. He takes your hand, pulling you over to the clothes they had left behind. "I'm glad you're alright, though!" He says gently, his mischievousness fading as he helps you with your clothes. After a moment though, his mischievousness returns and he gives you a playful wink before pulling his shirt on over his head.

"And why are you acting so mischievous?" you ask with a wink. "Well, now that you ask, my love, the simple answer isn't as fun." He says with a mischievous grin. "How about, that's just how I am?" He adds with a mischievous chuckle, taking your arm in his and holding it close. He squeezes your arm a little, the same affectionate look returning to his eyes. "I'm being mischievous because you're too adorable, and I can't help but want to tease you." He adds. "It's all your fault, my dear."

"You can tease me all you want back at the castle," you say lightly stroking his cheek "As you wish, my love. he says, his voice turning to one of affection and love, as he leans down to kiss you again. His eyes still hold that same affection as he holds you close, his arm around you tight. "Shall we get back to the castle before the night gets too far?" he asks, his mischievousness still showing in a playful grin and twinkle in his eye.

You just nod, too taken in by his beauty and teasing. His mischievousness has a certain charm to it, and he knows it. Gaunt's smile is charming, his laugh inviting despite its light mischievousness. And he's happy, his affection and love clear in his eyes. All in all, he seems like almost the perfect man. That is of course if you can handle his mischievous side. He reaches back to pick up the clothes they'd left before leading them back towards the castle.

The two walk back to the castle hand in hand Ominis walks you back to your common room "Goodnight my love" you say before pulling him in for a quick hug "I'll see you in the morning" you say reaching up to give him a quick peck on the lips "and thank you for a wonderful evening"

"Goodnight, my love," he says back, still affectionate and loving behind his usual mischievously charming grin. He kisses you back, playfully biting your lower lip a little before finally letting you go, and turning around. See you in the morning, my love." he adds in that same affectionate tone, his mischievous self starting to fade for a more affectionate persona as he lets you go.

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

@indynerdgirl requested: numbers 2, 10, and 72 from the random prompts list (so sorry this took me so long to get to love)

|| prompt list ||

prompts: "Wait a minute. Are you jealous?" + "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice." + "You were put on this earth to give me a headache."

au: nfl

word count: 2183

warnings: drinking, jake being a little shit, some smooching and heavy petting, ronnie has a praise kink and that's just facts

In the 2020 season, the Indianapolis Colts didn’t make it past Wildcard Weekend. Which was disappointing, obviously; but it only added fuel to the fire to perform even better next season and make it all the way to that coveted title of Super Bowl Champion. For now, though, the team was packed into the quarterback's house in order to watch those two teams that did make it all the way duke it out on live TV. 

The Rams versus the Bengals. Most of the Colts were rooting for that Cincinnati team. Something about AFC teams needing to stick together. At least it wasn’t the fucking Patriots again. 

One of the party goers, and Bengals supporters, included new Tight Ends Coach Ronnie Bradshaw. 

She had only been with the team the last few weeks of the season, but she fit in like she had always been there. A Hoosier born and raised, and the daughter of Nick Bradshaw, a famous NFL wide receiver himself, Ronnie had been around football her entire life. She not only knows the game inside and out, but even played it herself when she could. She brought something new and fresh to the team that hadn’t been there in a long time. Everyone could see it. The players, the other coaches, the sport’s greatest critics. Ronnie seemed made for the Colts’ offensive coaching staff — and maybe she was just the breath of fresh air they needed to get them that title they so craved. 

“Gotta admit though, Joe Burrow is a little cutie,” Ronnie commented as she sipped on her White Claw. 

The party was too big for everyone to be in one room, and she ended up on the main floor living room. Sitting cross legged on the couch with a few of the players’ girlfriends and wives. Two lucky guys got the armchairs, but most who decided to watch in that room were sitting on the floor, backs leaning against the couch.

Including tight end Jake Seresin. Who just so happened to be sitting right in front of his new coach. 

He turned to look up at her with a smirk. “Is that a bit of a crush I hear, Coach?”

“Sure,” she laughed, a slight blush tinting her cheeks at the thought. “Cincy’s not too far. We could make it work.” 

The WAG sitting next to her asked a question about Burrow’s career, and Ronnie provided the information with ease. But out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Seresin’s face sour. Clearly her answer wasn’t the one he was looking for. Though she was unsure what answer he would want from her. 

Now that the season was over, her interactions with Seresin had been…off. She really couldn’t put a finger on it. He had always been flirty. And as player and coach there was a mutual respect lining the jokes and teasing they often shared. But lately, whenever she turned his flirty remarks into jokes at his expense, he didn’t give anything back. He didn’t laugh. He almost seemed…hurt by it. His smile less genuine and the yes…and-ing cut off abruptly. 

The game went to commercial break, and Ronnie’s White Claw was empty. Taking the opportunity, she got up from the couch for a refill. She never really cared about the commercials anyway. They hadn’t been funny since she was a kid. 

Throwing her empty can into the recycling, she got a plastic cup and began filling it with water from the fridge. She still had to drive home later, after all. She was thankful for the quiet in the kitchen. There was no one else in there, but distantly she could hear the muffled sounds of laughter and jeering. It made her smile. This team was closer than most she worked with, and so far there’d been no talk of trades or free agency. It was a dream team, they all knew it, they just had to find their spark. And Ronnie hoped she could help them. 

“Thinkin’ about that Burrow kid again, Coach?” Seresin asked as he walked into the kitchen. 

Ronnie jumped. Jesus, she didn’t even hear him coming. For such a big guy, he would be very stealthy. 

She rolled her eyes, pulling her full cup from the fridge door. “And what if I was?”

“I’d have to call you a cougar, I think,” he replied as he picked through the snacks laid out on the kitchen island. 

“Hilarious.” Ronnie leaned back against the counter beside him. “I’m not that much older than him. We could still make it work.”

“Whatever,” he grumbled before tossing a jalapeno popper into his mouth. 

All she could do was stare up at his profile for a moment. At the bulging muscle in his jaw as he chewed with a bit more force than necessary and the unreadable look in his green eyes. 

It came as no surprise to her when Jake Seresin was just as pretty as the photos and videos implied. Because that’s what he was: pretty. He had a face like something out of old Hollywood. It made no sense when paired with his perfect Tight End physique. It made him too good to be true in some ways. What was even worse was that he knew it too. Used it to his advantage in nearly every city they travelled to. But even his reputation and his smug awareness didn’t stop her from thinking about him from time to time. And definitely not in a way a coach should think about one of their players. 

Seresin glanced down at her as he put another jalapeno popper in his mouth. And it clicked. Green wasn’t just the color in his eyes right now. 

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” she questioned, teasing and quiet, as she smirked up at him. 

“Of Joe Burrow? Absolutely not,” he answered just a little too quickly, hands coming to rest on the island. 

“Oh, my God, you totally are,” she laughed. 

He glared down at her. “Why would I be jealous?”

“‘Cause I said I think he’s cute and not you,” she explained, her smirk only growing as she watched his jaw tick to one side. 

A sure sign he was getting frustrated and a sure sign she was right. A thrill went up her spine at the thought. That maybe there was something more going on besides the off season and him wanting to distance himself. Because that was the opposite of what she wanted, deep in some secret part of her heart that housed everything else she knew was wrong but desired anyway. 

“Well do you?” he questioned suddenly, turning completely to face her with his hip against the counter. 

It threw her off balance as she gazed up at him. “Do I what?”

“Think I’m cute.”

“You’re avoiding the question,” she said with a shake of her head, looking down at her socks as heat filled her cheeks. 

“So are you.” 

“I asked mine first.” 

“Mine is more relevant.” 

“Jesus Christ,” she groaned, rubbing at her temple. “Were you put on this earth to give me a headache?” 

“New question — negates your previous one.” He grinned impishly at her and she huffed. 

The chatter died down in the other parts of the house. The game must be back on. People would start to wonder where they were. Ronnie pushed away from the counter and away from Seresin. 

“Fine. Don’t give me an answer. I can live without it,” she said, even though it wasn’t true. 

She wanted to know. She wanted to know if he was jealous of some other football player just because she thought he was attractive. She wanted to know if he felt even an iota of what she felt whenever she was around him. Like electricity, like a forest fire — like something powerful but devastating. But it was clear from his teasing that he wasn’t actually jealous, he didn’t feel anything. And she was making a fool of herself. Them having a relationship, even a casual one, was probably off limits anyway. A good way for her to get fired before her career even really got the chance to begin. 

With every intention of going back to the living room and finishing watching the third quarter, and trying to forget this disastrous conversation, Ronnie took a step away from Seresin. 

But then she felt one big hand encompass her wrist, and in an instant she was spun back around to face him again. His expression was unreadable as he pulled her in close. And she went willingly, no fight and no resistance as she drifted into his orbit. About to crash. Eventually, she was nearly chest to chest with him, and her water was taken out of her hands. Set down on the counter behind him.

“So what if I’m jealous?” he asked quietly, voice rumbling in his chest as his fingers slid down to hold her hand instead. 

“New question — negates your previous one,” Ronnie breathed back, overwhelmed but not feeling nearly enough. 

He laughed with a shake of his head. “You drive me insane.” 

She shrugged, trying to keep her cool in the face of his proximity and the feeling of his fingers playing with her own. “Feeling’s mutual.” 

“But I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he said, voice dropped an octave as he pulled her even closer, between his spread legs as he leaned back against the island. 

“Like you haven’t looked at me the same way, Seresin,” she scoffed quietly. 

“So the feeling’s mutual, then.” He smirked, his other hand coming up to cup her cheek. 

He was so close now. She could feel his breath, jalapenos and beer, fanning her face. There was no buzz, no fogged brain. Her mind was clear. White Claws be damned. She knew the risks. Knew it was probably a mistake. But in that moment she couldn’t bring herself to care. All of her life she had done the right thing — and maybe she deserved an indulgence. He was there, this had been building for weeks, and a girl had needs. Needs that she very much wanted Jake Seresin to fill. 

“Guess so,” she whispered, glancing down at his parted lips. 

Seresin looked at her for a moment more, expression all heat and desire, before he muttered fuck it and dove into her. His kiss was insistent, hungry, rough. He instantly pried her lips open with his tongue and pushed his way inside. It felt like a claiming as he tilted her head just the way he wanted and licked into her mouth. It was the kind of kiss that made her dizzy, that made her want more and more. She kissed him back with just as much ferocity, hands fisting his crewneck as she twirled her tongue around his own. 

When he finally drank his fill of her, he pulled away with his teeth sunk into her bottom lip. A soft moan slipped out of her at the sting. He released the swollen, pink flesh with a grin. 

“You like when it hurts a little, Coach?” he questioned.

All she could do was groan in response as she wrapped her arms around his neck and dragged him down into another kiss. Seresin chuckled against her lips, but it quickly dissolved into a grunt when she pressed her hips flush against his own. His hands grabbed, searched, explored. Up and down her back. Over her ass, her thighs. Into her long dark hair that was actually down for once. Ronnie’s heart raced at what this could mean. Where it could go. But underneath that she knew it was the thrill of doing something she shouldn’t for once in her life — and getting caught in the quarterback’s kitchen. Anyone could walk in. Anyone could see his tongue shoved down her throat and her fingers clawing into the back of his neck.

Jake pulled away first again, panting for breath as he leaned to whisper in her ear, “What do you say we finish watching the game…Then you and me head out early? Hmm? Go back to your place?”

She shouldn’t. She really shouldn’t. She was his coach, he was one of her players. 

But an answer was coming out of her mouth before she could be more rational about it: “Yes…Please.” 

“Good girl.” 

Ronnie felt her breath hitch, her toes curl, at his praise. And from the smug smirk on his face, he knew that she liked it. Jake let her go with one last kiss and her water pressed back into her hand. Then she turned and went back to the living room, trying to get control of her shaking legs and the heat filling her cheeks. 

Sitting back down on the couch, she noticed the game was on another commercial break. 

“Jesus, Coach, where you been? You missed nearly the entire third quarter! Rams are up by three,” Garcia filled her in and she nodded, mind still reeling. 

“You seen Jake?” Machado asked. 

She shook her head. “No. Haven’t seen him.”

i no longer have a taglist, please follow @anniesocsandlibrary and turn on notifications for updates!

[manonamora-if]

Ask bomb

Are there any specific technologies or concepts from sci-fi books that you wish existed in the real world?

Do you consider yourself to be a picky eater?

You are given a choice to live in one of the fictional worlds where your games are set in. Which one would you choose and why?

If you were given a budget of 5000$ to upgrade your current house of tech setup, how would you spend it?

What's the most unusual item on your bedside table?

Have you read any of the IF works in chooseyourstory.com? While the forum is filled with unsavory characters, the quality of some of the works is better than most IFs found throughout the community as a whole

What's your favorite conspiracy theory, even if you don't believe it?

If you could have a conversation with your pet and they could understand you for just one minute, what would you say?

If you had a warning label, what would it say?

If aliens visited Earth and you were the first human they encountered, how would you explain our species?

What's the weirdest piece of advice you've ever received that turned out to be surprisingly useful?

What's the most absurd thing you've ever bought on impulse?

If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, which one would you choose and what would you name it?

As a french what are your thoughts on croak shoes and dad hats?

What's your favorite French expression or saying that you think the rest of the world needs to adopt?

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a gold medal in?

😱

omg Anon...

Alright let's see

Teleportation. I hate the getting to places part of travelling. But also... Would it even work? Paris 2119 kinda gave me the ick about it at the same time.

I don't think I am. I'll eat almost anything and try new stuff when I can.

Any of the slice-of-life/like-the-real-world setting. Space is cool but it's too dangerous. Fantasy worlds don't have vaccines and medicine. It's like time travel: go in the past and you'll die of whatever disease is there, or in the future and maybe kill everyone with your bacteria (or was it the other way around? either way...). I'd rather live in a "normal" setting.

Half into a bed and mattress - the one you can bend up to read better. The rest in books and comics. If you give me the 5k in three years, I'll spend it in a gaming computer.

More unused bookmarks than books (I just have books on my bedside table).

I checked out the top rated listing on the main page a while back. Not my thing.

The Dead Internet Theory: the internet died some while back and is just populated by bots only. So we don't interact with people directly but through bots. It's a bit cuckoo. Or Nessie.

I've been told plants and rocks don't count as pets...

Volume not adjustable.

Don't bother, we're unsalvageable.

Touch grass. (go outside, take a walk, breath some fresh air)

Didn't buy, but I keep getting gifted croissant-related things: socks, kitchen towel... and more recently: the plushie. It is amazing. I love it.

The head of Mímir. I think we'd be drinking buddies. Especially if he is like in God of War.

Eh... Let people wear whatever they want.

« Quand le vin est tiré, il faut le boire. » - When the wine is drawn, you must drink it. Or finish your shit.

I am so average at shit, even then I wouldn't win any gold medal. And that's fine :)

[ricesoupremacy]

have a seat child lemme tell you a tale

ok so we’re doing this

@thepermanentscowl i'm just going to post this here because...no one looks at my blog anyway lmao and i don't care

i'm just going to pray i don't look back at this and regret telling you embarrassing shit but fuck it we ball and also i trust you.

warning: this is probably going to read like a shitty cringy school fanfic (look i have girl friends who use wattpad so i am cursed with knowledge okay) but this is absolutely 100% true.

warning #2: there’s a lot of meandering but i won’t apologise because. it’s my story and i’ll tell it however i want.

warning #3: if it seems like it gets a bit dramatic towards the end it’s because i got sad.

overall warning: very long. unedited. full of random shit. read at your own risk.

ANYWAY prepare yourself to read a love story better than romeo and juliet, than jack and rose, than even twilight. prepare to read the most beautifully tragic romance ever.

where do i begin.

Ok so when I was in fifth grade, I had the misfortune of somehow landing in the worst class an idiot child like me could end up in. I was never the “quiet kid”- on the contrary, I was always the one jumping on tables and getting sent out of class- but being with people like my classmates made me a Sad Boi for a whole year. You know, 10-11 year-old kids who’d just realised romance was a thing and who felt the need to incorporate it into every aspect of their dumb almost-middle-school lives. Every day was ‘OoOOHhHh wHo dO yOu LiKe’ or ‘oOOOhHHh wHo ArE yOu LoOkInG aT’. I couldn’t really blame them for getting over-excited, maybe I was just boring for my age. Anyway, I morphed into a kid who spent his lunch breaks sneaking books from the senior library and consulting a mini Oxford dictionary whenever I was in doubt, which was often.

It wasn’t just the teasing that got on my nerves, it was that my classmates were those pre-adolescents who’d later grow up into those wannabe Am-EHRIK-en teenagers- thinking they were so cool and sporting superior ‘Oh you don’t watch so-and-so hot boy’s Youtube channel? How saa-yad.’ airs that made me want to gag. I digress but whatever.

Needless to say, the Oxford Pocket dictionary was my best friend that year.

From a kid who ran into school bright-eyed and beaming every day, I turned into one who dreaded the prospect of entering a class with fresh hormone charged, irritating-beyond-words kids who were more concerned about some low-life’s Youtube tutorials than playing Tag. I did not care about next year. I was going to stay a silent emo kid planning murder at the back of my class forever. Was…what I thought.

___

I hadn’t even bothered to look at my 6th grade class list properly when we went for the end-of-the-year PTM. I was mildly surprised that I’d been shifted to a class with a completely different set of kids, many of whose names were unfamiliar. It’s probably going to be a repeat of last year, I thought. Whatever, just keep your head down and find something good to read. And let them think you’re the snooty class-topper who looks down on everyone else. You don’t care what they think of you, anyway.

Those were the sunshiny thoughts running through my head when I walked through the corridors on the first day of sixth grade, ignoring the kids running around and chattering happily with their friends, completely oblivious of the fact that one of those kids was running way too fast without looking- in my direction. Next thing I knew, I felt a body slam into me, knocking me to the ground. I fell on my school bag, the other kid fell on top of me. He immediately got up, but I barely saw him. I was too busy opening my bag to check if my books were okay- and they were, by some miracle. No damage. It was only when I breathed a sigh of relief that I became aware that some kids were asking if I was alright, and the boy who had run into me was apologising profusely and looking very guilty. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at the boy warily. Wildly curly hair, glasses askew, shirt untucked. He looked like one word- trouble. ‘It’s fine’, I said to him. ‘I’m fine. Stop saying sorry.’ He looked relieved.

I got up and began to walk to class. The boy fell into step beside me, and said ‘You’re Arya, right?’

I looked at him, surprised. ‘Yes…how do you know my name?’

He seemed excited for some reason. ‘Um, I saw you at the inter-house Spell-Bee last year. You were really cool. I didn’t even know half the words,’ he grinned.

I looked at him properly for the first time. He came to my shoulder, he had brown wide eyes, and he spoke really fast and animated, like an RJ.

I found myself grinning back at him. He had the most infectious smile.

‘I’m Vishwesh!’ he said very excitedly.

‘Sounds like “fish”’ was the first, highly intelligent thought that I blurted out and immediately hated myself for saying. What the hell, I thought. WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE THEY JUST MET?!

Vishwesh stared at me. Then he laughed. ‘You’re right, it does. Hey, you can call me that if you want.’

I was confused. ‘Sure? You want to be called Fish?’ 

‘It sounds funny. I’ve never had a funny nickname. And we’re in the same class.’

We were? What a coincidence. At least there seemed to be one guy I could be friends with.

Fish walked me to our class, talking about last night’s cricket match that I hadn’t watched. I decided that I liked his voice. A little higher than most boys our age, frequented by voice cracks. His constant stream of chatter was weirdly soothing. I usually got really annoyed by people who didn’t know when to shut up (still do btw).

We climbed up the last flight of stairs and stood at the doorway. I stared.

The first thing I saw was a boy standing on a table and scream-singing “Thunder” while a bunch of other guys ran around him like they were summoning a spirit. The second thing I saw was a group of girls throwing a tennis ball at each other. One of them threw it a bit too hard (obviously, an accident. Obviously.), and it sailed out of the class and hit our (female) chemistry teacher- who was flirting with our (male) biology teacher- right in the face. The chem teacher stormed into class yelling at the girl (who was making a heroic effort not to laugh), while the bio teacher took the opportunity to go pasta la vista, and the demonic chanting of “thu-thu-THUNDAH” just grew louder. It was the most chaotic scene imaginable. Fish looked at me and chuckled. ‘Better get used to stuff like this.’

I almost shed tears of joy.

I’d finally found my people.

___

Surprising most people including myself, Fish and I got along like a house on fire. Classic anime trope- short idiot delinquent boy who’s actually really nice becomes besties with the tall brooding introverted topper (not to bRaG). We bonded. Even though we were…different. He was fun. And he brought back the dying fire of fun in me.

I also became pretty close to the aforementioned Thunder-boy and Tennis-ball-girl- their names were Tanmay (yes, that guy with the plane and bomb knowledge) and Nadia. Who were. Also grade toppers. Somehow.

Apparently Fish had joined the previous year and had become fast friends with Tanmay.  The kids in their section hadn't been shuffled at all, except for me. I was the only one who didn’t already know everyone. But that changed pretty quick. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming, it felt like I’d known them for ages. Especially Fish (which is what I ended up calling him all the time).

Initially, I got the feeling Tanmay disliked me (he did). I felt this hostile energy radiating off him whenever Fish started fanboying about Eminem to me. I guessed he felt a bit put out that his best friend had betrayed him, but it’s not like he completely ignored Tanmay. I tried talking to him too, but I was often snubbed. Idiot. Anyway, I soon used his weakness (Imagine Dragons) to charm my way into his heart and boom, Tanmay suddenly loves me. The three of us became a really tight friend group. But Fish and I always did practically everything together.

I guess it was because we complemented each other really well. Fish was absolutely reckless, and he needed moi to make sure he didn’t kill himself (mom energy lol). I’d grown too withdrawn, and he helped me loosen up. And we both loved cricket.

Once, we were hanging out near the school swimming pool. It’s open and the adjoining compound opens into the school owner’s mansion. The brick wall that separates the school and house isn’t high, but no nut would dare trespass.

Except my nut best friend.

He was trying to show me this trick with his ID card, and accidentally flipped it too high. It sailed over the wall and onto the owner’s manicured lawn. We both looked at each other. Before I could say, “Don’t even think about it,” Fish had taken his shoes off and hauled himself up with the agility of a small monkey, and jumped to the other side. I held my breath and waited, and soon his head popped up over the wall, followed by the rest of his body. He sat there and swung his legs, and we realised that he’s made a Miscalculation. See, the owner’s plot was a level higher than the school ground level. So he could jump to the other side, no problem. But he couldn’t jump back to this side without breaking his ankles. So he had to carefully turn and feel for a foothold on the brick wall while hanging precariously by his fingers.

Climbing down a wall is often a much more terrifying ordeal than climbing up one, especially for a barely five foot tall child. He tried to act cool but I could see his hands tremble. Fish’s foot was just a few centimetres above a hold he couldn’t see. He gingerly placed one foot on it. Then the other.

Then he slipped.

I caught him.

I staggered back, but somehow, somehow, I didn’t lose my balance and fall and kill us both. I set him on his feet.

He beamed and waved the retrieved ID like a medal. ‘Mission accomplished.’ I laughed.

‘Thanks, dude. I thought I was gonna die. When the hell did you get so strong?’ He punched my shoulder.

‘I’m not strong, you’re just small,’ I grinned and ruffled his hair.

Fish scowled. ‘How dare you insult me? I’m not small, you guys just grow abnormally fast.’ He said that in a highly offended voice, but he was smiling.

‘Who said I was insulting you? Being short isn’t a bad thing, you know,’ I was still grinning at him. ‘Short people are cute.’ And with that I slapped his back (not gently). He howled with pain, scowling at me when I laughed at him. In revenge, he pulled my cheeks really hard. Normal affectionate guy behaviour. I almost threw him into the pool, but a P.E teacher caught us and took us to the headmistress for “causing a ruckus”.

The consequences when she found out Fish had climbed into the owner’s compound were…not pretty. I was let off because I didn’t technically do anything lol.

I don’t know why I typed out that (painful) incident but I just remembered and it was funny. And it proves the point of Fish being An Idiot who would do anything without hesitation. We did a lot of shit together. Good times.

Sixth grade was really fun, it helped me go back to being the silly kid I had always been. Even the girls weren’t jerks like the ones in my old class, they were really chill and funny. Before I knew it, the academic year had ended.

Through that summer, I desperately hoped I would have the same classmates. Sometimes my school would shuffle random classes, and the teachers had threatened our Very Disciplined Class that we’d all be separated in seventh because no one could handle such “hooligans”. I don’t know why they would say that. We were absolute Sweet Children™. Anyway, the gods must’ve taken pity on me because there was absolutely no shuffling in seventh, except one new girl who’d joined that year, and she was nice enough. I was over the moon.

Teasing and shipping was prevalent even in sixth, but it was never beyond a limit. I didn’t care about it.

If it was even possible, Fish and I grew closer that year. Both of us had grown, but I was still taller. I was one of those kids who shot up in middle school but stayed the same height after that, while all the other guys grew taller than me in high school. Sad.

___

There was a sort of cult that started in sixth and continued in seventh- the Percy Jackson cult. Everyone in my class was reading it, almost at the same pace. I started reading it late, so by the time I was done with The Last Olympian, most kids were already on The House of Hades. But I was fast, and I was catching up.

Since everyone was reading pretty much together, they all reached one scene in HOH before me. And that scene created a HUGE uproar.

I remember walking into class from the bathroom one morning, and Tanmay ran to me like Sonic and yelled ‘DUDENICOLIKESPERCY’.

‘What?’ I said. ‘Nico? The Hades kid?’ I still hadn’t started HOH.

‘YEAH, HE HAS A CRUSH ON PERCY. LIKE, HE’S IN LOVE WITH HIM.’

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Okay.’

To be honest it didn’t exactly shock me or anything. That a guy could like another guy. I didn’t understand why Nico would like Percy of all people but hey, I get it. Percy is Percy. Apparently the Cupid scene became the most disliked part of the books, because soon everyone was cussing at him and crying over Nico. Someone engraved “FUCK EROS” on the wall. I visited my old class a few months ago, and it’s still there. Nico was a really popular character in my class so. I guess the reaction was understandable?

‘Hey, stop spoiling it for him!’ Nadia (best girl friend) scolded Tanmay. ‘He barely started Heroes of Olympus, how would he understand the context?’

‘Wait, but Percy’s still dating Annabeth, right?’ I asked. They nodded. ‘So…it’s a one-sided crush? That’s…sad.’

‘I knowwww, right?’ Nadia sighed. ‘I hope he gets a boyfriend by the end. My poor boy deserves it.’

‘Apparently he dates Will Solace,’ Tanmay added very helpfully, before either of us could stop him. ‘And what do you mean, “my poor boy”? He’s older than all of us, he’s not your son.’

Will Solace, the Apollo kid? Damn, I thought, while Nadia and Tanmay started fighting over spoiling stuff before reading them yet again.

‘Anyway, did you expect that? Nico being gay?’ Tanmay seemed unable to let this very interesting topic go. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I got the impression he liked Annabeth.’

Tanmay was going to say something, but Fish entered the class just then. He ran to him and repeated the question with the same enthusiasm. Fish didn’t really seem to care; he was more worried about a math test he did not know was going to take place until two minutes ago. 

He walked straight to me and asked me to write all the formulas for the chapter on the board and explain some tough sums to him. ‘Why do you always ask Arya for help with homework and stuff?’ Tanmay raised an eyebrow.

Fish and I blinked at him. ‘Be-cuhhhhhhs he’s smart?’

‘Well, so am I!’ Tanmay said indignantly.

‘Are you seriously jealous?’ I snorted. T glared at me. ‘Even…even Nadia’s smart, why don’t you ask her?’

Fish looked at Nadia. ‘Uhh she is, but, I don’t know?’ He grinned. ‘Are you jealous?’

Tanmay was considering the both of us carefully. ‘Nope.’

‘Great,’ Fish said, pulling me to the whiteboard and shoving a marker into my hand. ‘Then let me get the help I need to pass.’

___

Middle school boys have the irrational urge to seem cool physically (for the girls or for their own egos, who knows), which is why arm wrestling became a favourite pastime at some point. Teacher disappears for five seconds, you suddenly have an arm wrestling ring in the middle of the classroom.

I took part in them too. I guess that moment when the back of your opponent’s hand makes contact with the table filled me with some sort of heady joy because I wasn’t necessarily the strongest guy in class. I’ve heard girls snicker that arm wrestling is just an excuse for guys to hold hands and I wonder if that’s true lol. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t.

I don’t know if my feelings for Fish were purely platonic at this particular point, or ever. I don’t think I’ll ever know.

Some people talk about a moment when they “fall in love”. I don’t know if I believe that. I don’t know if it’s actually possible. But I guess this is close enough for my “at that moment…I knew”.

It was a free period. I was arm wrestling with Fish. The class was cheering. I was winning easily.

Fish was frowning from exertion. ‘Damn it,’ he panted. ‘Have some pity on me.’

‘If you’re going to try and distract me, it won’t work.’

‘You’re clearly winning, there’s no point anyway, Ari.’

‘Ari?’

‘Heh, like Ariana Grande, no?’

‘“Ari” means “rice” in my mother tongue.’ 

‘Then we make a pretty good South Indian meal together, eh?’ (Rice and fish curry. Both of us are South Indians)

I smiled, but said nothing, just concentrating on his arm inching closer to the table with every passing second.

And then he did something that knocked the breath out of my lungs.

He said my name.

Okay I- I know that sounds crazy. Fish must have said my name a gazillion times before. But somehow…when he said it then…the world stopped for me. I know it sounds cheesy as hell. But. Just. The way he said it. The way he just quietly said ‘Ah-Ree-Ah’ as if to himself, those three ordinary syllables that made my name, as if he was trying out their taste on his tongue and he wasn’t sure what to make of it, as if he was trying to see if it sounded special, as if he was trying to find something in it-

I went still, boisterous class and stupid wrestling match be damned. I stared at him as a shiver ran down my spine and something went tight in the base of my neck. He hadn’t noticed. He was able to gain on me, slowly pushing my arm down as my grip and my concentration wavered. The class whooped at this plot twist, oblivious to my internal panic.

But it only lasted a second.

I pushed down viciously and slammed his arm onto the desk as my friends erupted into cheers. Fish winced slightly and flashed his signature lopsided grin at me. ‘Good match, dude. You work out or something?’ He joked.

He didn’t seem to know what he’d done to me. For one second, I hated him with an intensity I hadn’t felt in a while. For one second only. Then I was flexing my wrist and laughing with him like nothing happened.

___

I guess some part of my brain had dimly registered that this was probably what kids were constantly snickering about- a crush. Did I have a crush on my best friend? When did this happen?? I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. I wasn’t sure it even mattered.

Maybe I was just a tiny bit more jumpy around him now that I was maybe sort of aware. Maybe I was a tiny bit scared. Of what? I wasn’t sure. Of him? Of myself?

I didn’t care.

He was still my dumb best friend. We still hung out. Nothing mattered. Nothing was ever going to change. And I didn’t mind that. As long as I could laugh at him making a fool out of himself and help him with math and create stupid games together, I didn’t mind.

It wasn’t going to make a difference.

___

Around the middle of the academic year, I began to notice a slight change in Fish’s behaviour. He started being more…touchy-feely? I mean, most guys in middle school (and forever after that too, actually) have zero regard for personal space around each other. Drape your arms around your bro’s shoulder, he won’t mind. But now it was different. Maybe it was because I liked him and hence was hyper-aware of every tiny thing he did, but I noticed. For starters, he jumped on me. Literally jumped onto me from behind. A lot. Then I’d give him a piggyback  ride to wherever. As bros do. I thought I would get used to it but he always managed to take me by surprise and almost kill me lol. And there were other things. He’d grab my wrist or my arm a lot.

As the year went on, the stomach-somersaulting sensations got worse. And I think sometimes, I ended up staring at him like an idiot without realising it. Embarrassing.

I don’t know what Tanmay is made of, but man figured out something was up very quick. I finally worked up enough courage to talk to him because I was a confused muddle of emotions and I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

I told him I thought I might like Fish. Yes, might like. I think even though I’d sort of accepted it, I didn’t necessarily want it to be true, if that even makes sense. I was in denial, basically.

T listened to me rant and stutter without a word. Then he asked me a really simple question that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t considered earlier- ‘Do you feel the same way around Vishwesh the way you do around other guys? Like me, for example?’

Of course I didn’t.

‘Dude,’ Tanmay wasn’t even trying to hide his smile. ‘You like him.’

I said something intelligent like ‘Uh. No. I mean, maybe. I don’t know. Shit. I don’t know. At all.’

Tanmay rolled his eyes. ‘Okay, I was wrong. You like him a lot,’ he corrected helpfully.

I consider myself lucky to have him as my friend.

___

Tanmay promised not to tell anyone, but with the way I was acting and with the way Fish was suddenly…different somehow, other kids caught wind of something. They talked. And, yeah, we were shipped. Kind of. I didn’t like it only because Fish got all uncomfortable and then he’d get mad. He stopped jumping onto me like a monkey. He stopped sitting near me. All that, I could deal with. Quite honestly, I didn’t blame him for that.

Then he stopped talking to me.

He’d straight up ignore me. And obviously, that made everyone talk more.

There was a new girl I mentioned, who joined our class that year? Suddenly, she became besties with him. And he’d always talk to her very pointedly while she giggled and shit. I don’t care that this is the jealousy plot of every gay romance ever- I was burning with jealousy.

If he wanted to play like that, fine. I didn’t give a damn.

I ignored both of them pretty well.

I was angry. I was angry at him for caring so much about what we looked like that he found the need to convince other people there was nothing between us. If there wasn’t, then what was the point anyway?? Was our friendship really that fragile that one barely considerable “rumour” reduced us to strangers trying to get each others’ attention by not giving each other any attention?

And then there was the girl. She was fine when I first met her, but maybe I was just pissed off in general, but she started to piss me off more. That was probably unfair because she didn’t even do anything except talk to him when she knew I was looking.

Tanmay seemed very amused that I didn’t know what was really going on. ‘She likes you, duh.’

‘She what now?’

‘Classic girl trick. Give your best friend more attention than you to make you jealous.’

‘That…is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.’

‘It’s girl stuff.’

‘I don’t get girls.’

‘Yeah I can see that,’ he laughed. I glared at her. I saw her blush and that made me angrier. She did make me jealous- jealous of her.

‘You need to stop hating on her.’

‘It’s her fault.’

‘You know that’s not true.’

‘I know…I just…this all sucks.’

‘Maybe you should stop being such a jelly little boi.’

‘I am not being a “jelly little boi.’

‘Don’t lie to meeeeee, someone’s jellyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-’

‘Please stop-’

‘aRi’S JeLLyYyYyYyyYyy- wait. Oh. My. God.’

‘What?’

‘I just realised…if you’re jelly…and he’s…Fish…’

‘Oh my god don’t you dare-’

‘The both of you make JELLYFISH AHAHAHAHAHAHA-’

‘I hate you.’

___

So. Yeah. Nothing really improved after that. Fish still avoided me like the plague. I caught him looking at me sometimes. I pretended not to notice. But on the inside…I missed him so much it physically hurt. I didn’t get why shit had to be so complicated. I wished everything would magically go back to the way it was.

Tanmay still hollered “JELLYFISH” at us sometimes. He liked to embarrass us that way. Maybe it was his way of trying to get us to laugh about dumb shit and talk again. I appreciate it, but it never worked.

Until the last day.

I will never understand why I chose that day of all days to confront him. What a crazy coincidence.

10th March, 2019.

Home time.

Kids were walking out of their classes, bags slung on their shoulders, happily going home. Like any other day after school ended.

Fish was walking out, too. I watched him. He resolutely turned the other way, his footsteps measured.

I couldn’t take his shit any more.

I grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around to face me.

He was still shorter. His eyes, wide and brown, didn’t sparkle with mischief the way they did when I first looked into them.

I yelled at him. I shouldn’t have. But I yelled into his face about how he was acting like a dick and how I just wanted to be friends again and how he was acting stupid and it felt like he didn’t care about me at all and that I trusted him and if the thought, the thought grossed him out so much, that he and I could be-

I ran out of air. I just looked at him wordlessly. I didn’t know who I was angry at.

He looked back. He didn’t have anything to say either.

His silence infuriated me more than anything he could have said. I was about to turn away-

when he caught me. He caught my arm. The way he used to.

I froze.

I couldn’t breathe.

The sound I heard next shattered the horrible silence…and my heart. (dramatic music intensifies)

Fish sobbed like the world was going to end.

He was clutching me tight, so tight it hurt. The front of my shirt was wet- with his tears. I felt dizzy. What the heck was going on? If anyone should be crying, it should be me-

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered into my shirt. ‘I’m so fucking sorry, Arya. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sorry.’

I can still hear him say those words, clear as day.

The next thing I knew, we weren’t hugging anymore. The image of his tear-streaked face was plastered in my mind as I staggered out of school and walked home, the only depressed soul amidst a crowd of cheerful middle school kids.

That was the last time I ever saw him.

Because the next day, school announces shutdown due to a positive COVID-19 case on our street. And that shutdown was followed by a nationwide one.

Idiot messages me two days later saying he’s moving away to another country and he didn’t want to tell me because he was being an asshole and he felt miserable overall.

I wasn’t even sure I was angry anymore. I was so tired of being angry at him. I was…sad I was the last one to know. I was sad he was moving away. Sad that things seemed to end like this.

We never really talk about that. I don’t know if we’re pretending it never happened, or we’re just acknowledging that neither of us really knew what the heck we were doing. Stupid middle school shit. 

We talk now, and I don’t like him like that anymore. Out of sight, out of mind and all that I guess.

That doesn’t stop me from wondering What if? though.

[tia-amorosa]

🌴Lucky Palms🌴

Oscar & Vivienne

It's evening in Lucky Palms. And while Clark is trying to get used to his new luck, Oscar and Vivienne's mood is still a little tense. Oscar's lapse at the party stays in Vivienne's mind for a long time. She is worried about her husband - yes, they are now married.

It's already 9:38 pm when Oscar jolts up from the sofa. “hh, damn, did I fall asleep?”. Vivienne stood behind the sofa and spoke in a calm voice. “mhm, your body apparently needed it…”. He stroked his face with his hand and puffed. “Oh man, and you told me something earlier, I'm… I'm sorry”/ “it wasn't that important, stay seated for a moment”.

She sat down on the sofa with him. “Oh man, I feel like I've been run over by a truck…hhh, I'm really sorry, Vivi. I've been really out of line lately…"/ ”Pretty much, mhm. It's time you thought about a few things. You heard the doctor…”. Oscar took a deep breath, his voice sounded tired. “Yeah… That's a big challenge”.

Vivienne looked at him and smiled. “You gave me quite a fright when you were lying there on the floor.”. Oscar nodded, but he couldn't look at her. “mh, I should have listened to Clark in the first place”/ “Mhm, but you wanted to assert your stubborn little head again. You can't do that anymore you've seen for yourself how you feel when you drink too much… And eat"/ ‘am I really that fat?’. He looked at her seriously and questioningly. But she just shook her head. “Nonsense, but if the doctor is already talking about incipient problems, you should do something”.

“Man, I've never been a sports freak”/ “You don't have to do the full program. I have an idea, maybe you'll like it…"/ ‘And what's that?’/ ‘Yoga and Pilates, we even have men in the class’. Oscar made a slightly disgusted face. Yoga… Him? “oh man…. why did you even marry me?”/ “What do you think? Surely not out of pity…”

“now tell me, Vivi”/ “hh, why do people get married? Some do it for the money. But I don't need more than what I have and what I earn. I just realized at some point that you're more than just someone who likes to sit in front of the TV and watch series while snacking. You are attentive and loving.” Oscar was silent for a moment, then he looked at her, “thank you. And now a baby, oh boy”.

“hn, you didn't think we'd have a baby, did you?”/ “Really? No, and I always thought you'd leave me because of my weight and my quiet nature”. She looked at him and stroked his arm lovingly “No, not because of that. It would just be nice if… we did a bit more together from now on, our child needs fresh air then"/ ‘o.k. .and yoga helps me to lose weight?’.

She looked at him and nodded as she slowly got up from the sofa. „ It's quite effective for the body and for balance, I'll show you a few exercises, alright? And then later you can move on to something more difficult, like getting on the treadmill, you shouldn't start that now”. Oscar also got up and the two of them made their way to the bedroom. “Yes, my pump is running a bit on the back burner at the moment. But the kilos have to come off, then my heart will feel better too"/ ”That's how it looks. Now let's go to sleep"….

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

@cozygirlsimmer

[yeet-man]

One's Rebirth (Chapter 9)

The series has returned once again. After fully taking a step back for a bit, I'm back and ready to return to action! Now, this is not an official release Ryan's training is not done therefore it's an incomplete chapter. However, I don't like working on chapters if the previous one isn't uploaded, so, merry Christmas from yours truly XD, the official release should be a few days after Christmas so enjoy J'me's training till then!

The pursuit of power truly never ends. Once they have acquired the power they want, they become obsessed with gaining more. When this happens, a cycle begins. A cycle one would call "Power Lust." In this cycle, it ends with the one seeking even more power, but instead seeking death at the very end.

J’me held his head as he sat up on the couch. He ended up falling asleep on the couch, too tired from yesterday to make it to his bed. He picked up his phone, mainly wanting to know what time it was. Fuck, it was already past noon and he had what felt like a million things to do today. Plus, he had to go to the hospital to make sure Mei was good to leave.

With a small sigh escaping his mouth, J’me would quickly go through his ‘morning’ routine. His body still extremely sore from the previous day. After putting on a fresh pair of clothes and getting ready to leave, he looked at the hole in the wall. “I vow to get strong enough to protect the people I care about.” With that said, he left, trying his best to get to the hospital quickly without using any energy.

Once getting to the hospital, asking if Mei was released yet. Luckily she wasn’t so he was on time on something for once. Though, she would be soon and the front desk said he could wait in the lobby till she was.

Time felt like it was passing slowly and all J’me could think about was ideas on how to get stronger. It frustrated him, he had no idea what his potential was nor the full capabilities of his quirk. Say they did make a machine that could transfer his energy, he still had zero ideas on how to turn that energy into a tailed beast. And would it be one of the tailed beasts from Naruto or would it be a custom one?

After what seemed like forever, Mei was finally released from the hospital. J’me walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. He stayed quiet for a couple moments before whispering, “I promise to never let you get hurt like that again.” He bit his tongue to stop himself from crying, it would be embarrassing to do that here of all places.

Mei smiled a little, she knew it was her fault for getting injured. After all, she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. Though, it was comforting to hear those words from someone she cared about. And for once, she cared about something more than her gadgets. She planted a kiss on his cheek, it was a thank you kiss for being there for her.

J’me was taken aback by the kiss, that was definitely unexpected. He didn’t mind it though, it felt like a reward for everything he’s done recently. It seemed as if there was something in order in his current life. He pulled away from the hug and placed his hand on the cheek that was kissed, a smile forming on his face in the process. After a moment, he looked at Hatsume and let out a breath of air. “I don’t mean to ask this since you just got out of the hospital, but would it be possible to help me design something? The sports festival are coming up and I need to do something.”

“Of course! I will gladly make any gadget that will help you, that’s what I’m good at after all. Now let’s go, you won’t have long to train if we stand around here all the time.” Mei said while turning her boyfriend around and began pushing him to the door.

J’me let out a soft laugh as he was pushed to the door. He wanted Mei to rest, but at the same time he wanted to train for the sports festival with her help. Was it selfish for him to want this? Kind of, yeah.

Soon enough, they were back in Mei’s workshop. Mei was already going around and grabbing potential tools that she might need, only to realize she didn’t know what eaxctly she was making. So, she turned around to ask J’me the question, “what am I making by the way?”

“Oh, um, it’s a little confusing to explain so I’m sorry in advance. Basically, something that will extract my energy and a container of some sort that’s capable of holding my energy. I will grab anything you need to make it.”

Mei thought about it for a moment before looking around her workshop. It seemed like she had everything to make something to extract his energy. As for a container to hold it… since she had never worked with pure energy before, she would need something that would be able to withstand a bunch of damage just in case. “There is one thing you can grab for me, technically two. Obsidian and pumice, I’m going to need a decent amount in order to make the container. And while you do that, I’ll get started on the extraction machine!” Mei gave off one of her infamous smiles and got straight to work.

J’me nodded, though slightly confused. Where the fuck was he supposed to get obsidian and pumice from? He could buy it, but he was pretty much broke, and last he checked, the only place you could get things like that was from a volcano. He let out a small sigh, guess this could help him get into shape a little.

A couple hours flew by when J’me came back with what was asked for and hopefully he grabbed enough to make the container. J’me placed the materials on the ground as Mei was finishing up a couple minor details on the machine.

J’me was surprised Mei was able to finish the machine in just a couple hours, seems like motivation can make one work faster than normal. He walked up towards her and tapped her shoulder to not scare her by suddenly appearing.

Mei turned around and smiled once seeing J’me. She then asked him if he wanted to test the machine, to make sure it was working correctly. He nodded and soon she began hooking him up to the machine and explained how it worked. In basic terms, the machine would suck up his energy and store it inside till it had something to transfer to, in this case the something being the container that was soon to be built. Obviously this had a major drawback, after having his energy taken, J’me would be extremely tired. Even after getting used to the machine, it would still make him tired since it’s taking a majority of his energy if not all of it every time he uses it.

J’me understood all of this, that’s why he had a plan for this. He was going to push himself beyond the limits over the next two weeks. Depending on the day, his schedule would look like this, in the morning he would have his energy extracted, after resting for a bit he would do quirk training or physical training and then right before bed he would do some meditation. On paper it looked like hell, it was probably going to be much worse when it happened.

Once being hooked up to the machine, which felt weird to say the least, Mei clicked on a button and said machine started taking the boys’ energy and trapping it inside a small chamber. The energy looked, weird. It was a multitude of different colors, almost as if there were other elements inside it.

J’me simply shook his head, no way something like that was possible. After his energy was taken and he was unhooked from the machine, he tried to stand back up, only to fall down to one knee. Fuck. Maybe this was going to be worse than he ever imagined. A couple minutes went by before he was able to fully stand, he was winded though able to move for the time being. He turned to ask Mei when the container was going to be done.

“It should be done by tomorrow at the latest. Either way I’ll be sure to transfer the energy inside of it as soon as it’s done. As much as I love explosions, I feel as if something like your energy exploding would destroy everything in my workshop.” Once she was done talking, Mei went straight to work hoping to get it all done by later tonight.

J’me simply nodded and muttered that he was going to go home and rest. He held up a single hand sign and teleported back to his house. From there he took a shower and went to bed, tomorrow would be the beginning of his hell training.

Opening his eyes, J’me let out a small sigh. Today was the start of his new training, he went through his morning routine before going to Mei’s workshop. Once getting there, Mei was of course up and working on a new project. He then looked at the machine and saw an enormous box next to it, if he had to guess, that was the container that would hold his energy till he figured out how to make a tailed beast.

Mei noticed J’me looking at the container and started talking, “that right there is what will hold your energy! It has a thin layer of obsidian inside of the pumice to make sure nothing can get through it! And with the pumice on the outside, it should be able to float on water which will make moving it easy.” She smiled brightly, proud of her creation and hopefully J’me approved of it. This is what he asked for after all.

J’me smiled a little, let the ruthless training begin. He was hooked up to the machine and once again, his energy was taken. Afterwards however, he powered through it and went on a run. It was much more difficult to do anything with all of his energy gone, but he had to push through it. If he wanted to protect everyone, he had to get stronger. And since this is an anime, he had to break past his limits if he wanted to achieve his goal.

When his jog was up, J’me took a break to eat and take care of himself. He was gonna take care of his body, it was stupid not to with the training he was doing. After his break was done, he immediately started doing bodyweight exercises. Since he knew he wasn’t that strong, this was something he had to start with. If he started training with weights right off the bat, that would only result in failure.

After the exercises, J’me had the rest of the day to spend in recovery. He sat on his porch breathing heavily. This was the first time in his life where he pushed himself this much. He looked up towards the sky, sweat dripping down from his face. He stared at the clouds for a moment and closed his eyes. It felt good to relax. After a couple minutes he went inside and cleaned himself up. From there he went on with his day, taking it easy and doing whatever else needed to be done. An hour before bed he did some meditation.

It felt weird to say the least, he heard good things about mediation but he personally never done it. That’s why currently, he was following a video on how to do it correctly. Then soon enough, it was time for bed.

The next day he did the same routine, energy taken in the morning followed by training and meditation. However for today he did quirk training, this consisted of doing multiple jutsus in a rapid secession. He knew that the more he did this, the less of a strain it would have on his body. Since at the moment, it took a decent amount of energy to do a single jutsu. And as usual after the training he took the rest of the day off and did some meditation before bed.

He followed this schedule for the next two weeks, not allowing himself to take a day off. Surprisingly, he saw results after the two weeks. They were small results such as losing a little weight and being able to do more reps of certain exercises. They were sill results nonetheless and soon enough, it was the day of the sports festival. He couldn’t help but think of what Ryan did for his training as he left his house that morning. He would see at the first round of the sports festival.

Taglist: @outcast-thingz @bisexual-confusion

[bannedbookreader]

For the fic writer asks - 6, 12, 18 and 24!

Thank you!

6; so I was really curious about this, but copying all of The Grand Investigation of Tom Bronson into word counter caused it to crash three times

12; does family themes count as a trope?

18; I have an entire section I cut from the last chapter for a variety of reasons. Spoilers I guess?

"

“Yeah Yo-yo, we got the groceries.” Tom sighed into his phone. It wasn't easy holding the overly full reusable totes on his lap while also pressing his phone to his ear.

“Everything?”

“As much as we could.” Tom glanced back at Grant with a slightly exasperated look. It was hard to tell at the angle and with Grant’s face mask, oversized sunglasses, and hood, but he seemed to be smirking.

“What does that mean?!”

“It's December! Vegetables aren't exactly fresh this time of year.”

“You didn't get the vegetables?!”

The wheelchair hit an uneven slab of concrete, almost sending the groceries they did have flying. Tom managed to keep the canvas bags on his lap while Grant saved his phone from shattering. Instead of returning the phone to Tom, Grant held it to one of his cauliflowered ears.

“Can y'all argue about this later? It's hard enough getting through this part of town with this damn chair when we don't have to worry about bags of food.”

Tom had no idea what Yolanda said but Grant gave a quick, somewhat dismissive goodbye before passing the phone back.

“I kinda like the chair.”

“Hm?”

Tom shifted slightly, still getting used to talking to someone directly behind him. “It beats being stuck in the Brownstone recovery room. And Pops has given me some tips.”

“Tips?”

“He showed me how to do a wheelie. Kinda looking forward to it when I get my arm strength back.” Tom grinned.

“Sounds like fun I guess.”

“Even if it's not fun it seems helpful. Though José keeps showing me videos of wheelchair users that are like, extreme sports athletes? I have to keep reminding him I can barely push myself right now let alone do a flip!”

“I mean, you could probably do a flip if we pushed you off a ramp. The issue is the landing.”

Tom barked a surprised laugh. “Pops would lose his damn mind!” He could picture it clear as day, prompting more laughing. He hadn't laughed this much in a long time. It shook his shoulders before it was replaced by a choking rattling cough. Tom struggled to get any air in as he doubled over, crushing the bags against his chest, tears were being pushed out of his eyes and ran down his cheeks. Grant pushed the emergency inhaler into Tom's hands, already shaken and ready to go.

The nasty taste hit the back of Tom's throat but seconds later he was able to take a shaky breath.

“Fuck me,” Tom groaned, his head tilting backwards against the chair's backrest. The bag crinkled again, this time in relief.

“I already did.” Grant tried for humor, but only got a snort in return.

“Careful, if I laugh I might fucken die.”

Grant’s gloves were soft as they brushed the tears from Tom’s face. “Recovery is a fucking bitch,” he adjusted his hand so that Tom’s cheeks was laying against the fuzzy palm, “but you're doing great.”

“Sometimes it doesn't feel like it.”

Grant stood up from where he was kneeling, “I know that. But Tommy, <i>you died</i>. And Hell, what were you doing this time last month?”

Tom considered, “I think I started physical therapy?”

“And before that?”

“Are we gonna take this thought exercise all the way back to April?”

“But you get my point?”

Tom smirked up at Grant, “It would be hard to miss it.”

"

24; I'm not really sure how I recharge? I guess just by chilling? Maybe engaging with art in another way like craft videos (Moria Elizabeth is cute) or webcomics (Mil-Liminal by raptorjules and Keystone by wellofhavoc are my favorites right now) or any number of things. Sorry for not having a proper answer

[macaroni-rascal]

Now, let's start with the senior ladies because they deserve to headline. Halle-fucking-lujah, Isabeau got a new dress. It's not the most remarkable, but at least it's not a down jacked that exploded in the wash. It did the job, now let's hope the SP dress undergoes the same treatment. Good on her for bouncing back like that, but I still don't fully enjoy her skating because of the coaching failures. Rion did well to recover from that nasty pop but she's still not the most compelling and without the high tech she doesn't have much to fall back on. Hana is so cute but her programs are kinda weird. I think the red glove is supposed to be a bird's beak and those are not little leaves but I guess feathers? Either way, I'd like to see more direction in the program selection and more individuality shining through. Nina has some lovely qualities but they're counteracted by some glaring deficiencies. Her packaging and music are good but she looks like she's watched too much recent Russian skating. I don't know if they can do anything to fix it at this point. I'm much more charitable towards Loena's costume now that I know she designed it herself, but omg what I wouldn't give to never hear Vogue again. There was even a jr free dance that for some reason paired it with Frozen, but it was a Ukrainian team, so they get all the leeway. This, on the other hand, just doesn't work, most of the choreo isn't on beat and in the hands of an any less charming performer, it would be DOA. There are so many directions they could go in. I think the artist they're looking for is Ciara. If they want a Eurodance vibe, there's Inna, there's Cascada, there's all the Eurovision queens, the international pop girlies, the entire thriving LatAm music scene to pick from... Why this off-brand version of something that's been done before, twice, more successfully, when she's so unique and such a breath of fresh air? And the arms above the head on all the jumps feel like such a throwback. I don't know what to prescribe, a summer in Champery perhaps? Shae-lynn? Jeff Buttle? Jeff Buttle. Kaori is so sophisticated and so in her element at this point that although these are safer program choices than she's had before, I think she's earned her stripes and can clearly deliver on anything she sets her mind to. The packaging is mature, classy and suits her position in the sport as its reigning queen. We'll look back on this as a blessed time.

The men really said "we're gonna men so hard, y'all don't even know!" And so they did. The French men have more rights than ever, they low-key own my ass, especially Adam. There's a Patrick Chan-ness to his carriage that I can't quite describe, but so much more on top of it. He truly is a daredevil and although the jumping technique is wild, the risks he takes tend to pay off, he's really exciting to watch and always has artistically coherent material, it's not just cool tricks for tricks' sake. That Arabian could save the world. Even when he makes mistakes, I'm riveted. I think he learned an important lesson here about not peaking at the Shanghai fucking Trophy. Kevin did the Chris Knierim thing where he quit mid-program. But we know what we sign up for with him, I guess, and when it works, it's magic, but when it doesn't, it's just pain. He's one of few skaters I'd subject my eardrums to Bolero for so he better regroup. Kao was also a struggle but at least I figured out what bothers me about his skating - he skates like Russian Mark, where his weight isn't properly positioned over the blade, it's over his arches and not the balls of his feet. By contrast, watching Yuma is such a vacation. His technique is so sound and reliable that I can just kick back and relax. He's above all a well-managed skater, and he still has room to grow, which is exciting. I couldn't get a really good look at his shirt but it seems like it has two layers of sheer fabric over a fitted velour top and that's brilliant in such an understated way, because his skating speaks for itself anyway. I'd really like to see him do more original material, though. Carolina at the boards is such a soothing presence, more people should work with her. I didn't like Shoma's shirt as much because I feel like it doesn't know what it wants to be, was it the same one previously? Idk, but he's worn such stunning pieces before that I'm a little underwhelmed. Still, breathtaking skating, wild jump technique and air position notwithstanding. One of the skaters with the highest emotional ROI for me thus far. I wish he'd won. Okay, how on earth are Ilia's new costumes even worse!? He looked like Slenderman or the creatures from the Hush episode of Buffy. Why can't they figure out something as simple as the packaging when they can figure out a freaking 4A!? If he wasn't grown, I'd be calling CPS. It's an epidemic among the North American male skaters who have Soviet parents, it's honestly a meme at this point. It irks me because he has the tech and you can see the flexibility and the potential to be artistic, and it just isn't happening. He's regressed in that department, but fatigue probably played a part. For the love of god, take the prize money and fly to Montreal, I can't take this anymore! He has great hair, they should make it a feature.

The dance deserves its own post because Saucy was so valid in what she said.

Agreed on Isabeau's new dress, it looks so much better, she doesn't need to look like her grandma's curtains were bedazzled and gathered into a giant parachute of a dress. Amen amen amen. I'm with on Rion, Hana, and Nina, I haven't really felt much from any of them, and haven't had the urge to rewatch any of their skates. Nina especially, she is very Russian girl coded, it's all pumping up and down in cross overs, quick bad transitions, and eeked out jumps. I wish Leona would also ditch this free skate, that attempt at duck walking was cute the first time, and now makes me cringe. Bow down to Queen Kaori, she is finally getting her flowers and I love that for her. She IS the moment. Look at the material!

I'm still on the fence with Adam, those Benoit programs are a slog for me to get through, I just find them needlessly cerebral and overwrought; there's something arrogant about Benoit's programs that I can't put my finger on. Kevin, oh Kevin. Le sigh. That's all I got for him. Kao confuses me, cause there's moments that are good, and them even more moments where it looks like he's trying to fight off an imaginary bee, it's all off balance and twitchy. Yuma, I salute you. Love him to death, he's wonderful. Shoma is...god, I love Shoma. I also wish he'd won. Ilia should still not be getting above 7s in PCS, I'll die on that hill. His tech is amazing, everything else is meh, so his marks should be 'just okay.'

The single skaters, overall, had a nice GPF though, I enjoyed both disciplines here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as always!

[dzpenumbra]

11/16/22

Okay two things just happened. One - I went outside to smoke and saw an inch of snow on the ground. The skateboarder in me cried because the skatepark is no longer really skateable for him. The snowskater in me beamed with joy. Thank god I reconnected with snowskating, because it reconnected me with skateboarding, and now I have an active sport to do all year long. Except for mud season. Mud season is the roughest by far. But I get a lot of creative work done during mud season, so it evens out.

Two - I opened my Betterhelp app to see if I could turn my app notifications on for once! I get fucking spam email notifications and telemarketer calls every damn day, but I don't get notifications for when my therapist responds to my messages. I gotta sit down and do something about that. And while we're on the topic, fuck anyone - and I mean anyone - who thinks I'm going to buy their product or service in order to stop them from annoying the shit out of me. "Pay us and the kid we paid to sit behind you on the airplane will stop kicking your seat at full strength." Fuck off with that shit. Please. So, I couldn't find the notification settings, but I did glance over the first two paragraphs of his message and it was a big breath of fresh air. Like being stuck in a stuffy, dusty, animal and dander filled apartment for 4 months and then sitting cross-legged by a beautiful river and breathing in the fresh air. And it just hit me... "fuck, I've been just surrounded by people from unhealthy families and relationships. And so few of them even know what a healthy relationship looks like, or think it's like... fiction or something. Like it's just something you see on TV or something." It sucks, because I just want to shake people and go "of course it's possible! Just do it! Just act like those characters! Who cares if they're fictional, they're mentors!" But, they just resist, or come up with reasons not to try. Ugh. See? I get a huge breath of air and it's like... "oh shit, not only do I deserve better than this, and it's not normal, but... I should have better than this? And... I can have better than this? And better than this is actually... available?" And I start beaming with joy and excitement! How fucking incredible life is going to be when I'm in a healthy relationship with someone who wants to work and play, but mostly play. :D But the downsides come with it, too. The whole, you can't save those stuck or trapped in misery. And it's just... yeah. It becomes the weight around my neck, the ball and chain around my ankle. Trying to save people, and suffering with them. So maybe I should try to reconcile this, unite the two, evolve them together. To inspire others to pursue healthier relationships and a happy life, to show them that you can break free. You can start over with nothing. Instead of just trying to coach them. Lead by example.

I think that could be an important shift in my life. But it requires confidence, extreme confidence. And I'm desperately low in confidence lately. Without exaggerating, I put together like Sims-esque (Rimworld, in my head) Need meters for myself. A prototype on paper, I want to make actual adjustable meters out of cardboard and mount them on my wall so I can gauge how to manage my needs the way I trained to through video games - by reading a meter and then performing tasks to balance that meter. Minecraft hunger bar, health bar, that kinda shit. Fuck if people call me nerdy or stupid or whatever, they're just being a loveless bully. My need meters that I settled on for now are Food, Water, Sleep and Confidence. That's how important it is to me. I genuinely believe that it's one of my core needs. And I think Willpower is on there too, but I haven't really gotten that far yet. So... generating confidence is super duper motherfucking important for me right now, and I think it is for a lot of trauma victims. I'm starting to notice that it's almost more important for me than Sleep. Like... let's use this stupid anxiety about being 100% presentable for a goddamn phone call to set up a state inspection appointment as an example. With this problem, which fucked up my life for like 3-4 days... if I pull an all-nighter, but I still have a bunch of Confidence? I'm good to go. If I'm absolutely starving but I have a bunch of Confidence? Totally fine. Dehydrated as hell, but still Confident? Not a problem.

So here's where my sleep schedule stuff comes in, I guess. Am I not going to bed until 4-6AM because I'm afraid of being alone? Because I don't feel safe asleep at night with no one watching the house? Or is it because I'm just getting lost in time doing things I really enjoy at night? And because I just do stupid chores and fight with my family during the day? Maybe that's what I'm avoiding? I mean... my life is super fucked up because I'm not awake during the day and have no one to help me make appointments and shit. Everything in my shitty town of 4000 people closes at like 9 or 10. I am not fucking kidding. There is one convenience store that I used to be a Night Shift Manager for (big fucking surprise there!) that was open until like 11. That's it. The general store up the road closes at like 7 or 8, and they have fucking self-checkout! They could totally stay open later! Ugh. So when I start going nocturnal, it starts getting super hard to do shit with day people. Like... let's walk through what my day will be like tomorrow for example, and keep in mind, I'm getting to bed early tonight.

After writing this, I like to read it back, to hear what my brain sounds like and familiarize myself with how my thoughts look and read-back in writing form. It's a weird thing, and it really helps you get to know yourself, so I'd really recommend it! Especially if you're a writer. But do keep in mind that this is entirely stream-of-consciousness, that means no edits - which I sometimes do, and I'm not too happy about it, but usually its because I have a few different sentences going at once in my head and they can kinda overlap sometimes. Like I'll use synonyms and stuff for that. And spelling errors. But reading back stream of consciousness writing that you did honestly is a great way to get to know yourself and how you can sound to others if you're like 100% honest. It just takes a bit of practice to get your typing up to speed with your thoughts, if you're not the fastest typist. I still struggle with that, and I type all weird.

So when I'm done reading this back, however long that takes, I go to sleep. So... it'll probably be around 4:20? 4:30? Then I'm probably asleep within 15 minutes. I've been falling asleep really well lately, I used to really struggle with that the most, I think weed and journaling are helping tremendously, like better than 2mg of Xanax tremendously. So we'll say sleep cycle starts at 4:30.

I don't lie to people, and I try not to lie to myself, so I need a good 8 hours of sleep to be fully rested. XD So I'm getting up at 12:30. That's pretty damn good. When I got to sleep at 7, that number goes to 3PM real quick. So getting up at 12:30, I need a shower - which is usually about half an hour and I really don't like saying fuck it and skipping because I get in bad habits and I have a recurring bacterial infection so I really need to be showering daily for my own physical health to keep that in check. That's half an hour at least, I fucking love showers and sing in them every day. I cannot stress enough how much I love singing in the shower, and how absolutely revolutionary the invention of waterproof bluetooth speakers has been for me. I used to carry a boom box into my bathroom and play CDs in it while I showered, a little chargeable bluetooth brick speaker is a godsend! So a long shower is a non-negotiable with me unless I have an appointment or something. Coffee and cat food is first though. So after my shower and food it should be around 1:30ish. On a 7AM day, that's now 4PM.

If you want to go to an actual store (that isn't the one grocery store) or make an appointment or something, you need to get whatever you need done that day done before 5. That's like... universal "we're fucking off and going home" time. Which is coincidentally also around sunset this time of year. So on a normal day, day activities include: windows to make appointments, store runs/trips, hiking time, skating time. So if I want to go to the river for an hour or so, on a 4:30AM day... I can usually get back from the river around... 3? If I'm just doing the hour. And then I still have time to spare to set up appointments and stuff. Same goes for the skatepark. But on a 7AM day... it starts getting dark when I'm in the woods, or at the skatepark. And there's 0 time for going to the hardware store to look for a chisel, or stone polish, or woodcarving tools. No time to set up my car appointment, or vet appointment. I have to choose. Do I want executive functioning stuff, or do I want exercise and nature. Fucking duh, I want nature and fun and exercise. So... I've struggled with that a LOT over the past few months, in my grief periods I struggle with it by far the most. Maybe it's a depression thing? Self-soothing? Maybe.

So obviously the daylight hours are valuable to me. They are time I spend in the world. So why do I spend so much time awake and active at night? Why am I up until 4-6 AM like every night. Why am I not even tired until then? I ask because I do need to fix my sleep schedule this week for the meet-and-move-in next week. And the car appointment. Oh yeah, I got both of those set up. Monday and Tuesday. So I have to be up and at the car dealership, drawing on my hoodie in their service department waiting room, at 10AM on Monday. Then up in the new city around noon the next day. Which means on Tuesday, I really should be up around... 8:30 or 9? And that's super rushing the shower. So I really do need to fix that schedule. So... I really can't figure out the why I stay up all night thing. Maybe it's because the daylight is so valuable to me, like... it's my nature time, and I don't like the idea of being indoors and working when I could be outdoors and having fun. Like, I'd much rather be out at the river gathering stones during the day, even in the winter, than indoors sanding stones during the day. I feel like most of my night time is spent working. It's very quiet, there are few distractions. I can work for many hours straight without a text or a call or a phone notification. Especially if I have a game like Rimworld (the day/night cycle in-game throws off your sense of time) or if I'm watching long-form media like a several hour livestream. I can easily draw, sand, carve, weave, whatever for hours at a time and have absolutely no awareness, and there will be no consequence for it. And the whole process is enjoyable. Like... it's a no-brainer, right? Night time is awesome, honestly. I really do enjoy it. It does get a bit lonely, and I'd love company sometimes, but man, I get so much done at night.

So... I guess I've found out a bit about myself here. Maybe I'm not afraid of someone breaking into my house and murdering me in my sleep. Maybe my best hours are currently aligned with 10PM-2AM, the timeslot of my radio show in college. The timeslot of my old livestreams. Maybe those are my work hours. I mean, that's a long-ass shift for live performance, meticulously detailed nature illustration, hand-sanding stones and hand-carving wood. I do get my best work out of that time slot. At least, I have historically. But having those hours just really suck life-balance-wise. It made me dependent on others to help me with daytime stuff, since my environment is very hostile towards night people. I mean... they barely even have public lights out at night, it's a bit much.

Welp, I wrote a ton and I'm reeling myself back in because I said 4:30 earlier, it's 4:30 now and I haven't even started reading this back yet. So let's fix that. This whole scheduling thing can wait until tomorrow, I will get on it then.

Here were today's cool things. I embellished 3 of my favorite mineral specimens by adding in facets on the existing edges. I beveled the edges, basically, and they look fucking really goddamn good now. It's hard to do them justice in a picture, but if I manage to get a good picture I will post it. I made at least 4 new wooden beads and set up a clamp vice to mount my wireless dremel. It worked beautifully and I actually got to wood-turn with knives and the pieces came out really cool! I'm very happy with them, and I'm excited to find smaller sticks to work with so I can do this more effectively. I set up a meeting with my new landlord company representative or whatever, it's set in stone now, a week from today. I did some tarot study, set up a google docs with all the card names in it. Then under each card, a detailed description of the art, concepts represented by the card's symbol, and a specific personal memory/event that would be represented by that card. I think this is going to be a much better way of learning Tarot, one that few people actually commit to doing because... it's really personal and it's not easy, it's kinda like therapy. I did the 5 of Swords and the 6 of Swords today, which was actually pretty emotionally difficult. 5 of Swords is a pretty fucked up card. I'm sorry. Death is like... everyone makes a big deal out of it or whatever. The Devil and The Tower are usually scarier to me, but like... I think 5 of Swords is super unsettling. Maybe it's just because of my personal experiences and traumas. 6 of Swords was much more uplifting, literally. It's about persevering through chaos, trusting your wits and clarity to guide you to peace ahead. 5 of Swords is about conflict, control and questionable ethics. At least in my deck. I'd like to keep studying the deck this way, and just pull a few random cards every day and study them until I get through the whole deck. It's a cool project, I really enjoy it. It also snowed, which was exciting, I saw snowplow lights and I felt like a kid on christmas morning. But I didn't go out and skate. I know the snow is too wet, I know I don't have lights for it... probably. But I'm really goddamn excited to go snowskating soon. :D

I think that's most of the positive stuff.... oh wait! I placed an Amazon order! Cuz... confidence! Fuck it! I really would love to buy from local people, but man... I've just been struggling with that, okay. So I just bought some shit. Because last time I went to the hardware store looking for stone polish, they just googled it right in front of me and went "we don't have it". Big waste of time. So I got 2 kinds of stone polish to try out, I got some collets for my rotary tool that hopefully fit. If they don't... whatever, no big loss, it was like 5 bucks. I got more incense! Yay! And some new essential oils which I'm pretty excited about. Different types of wood scents, I think that will be nice, especially to mix. And I got beeswax too! So I will be able to polish all of these stones, even the quartz, to a nice mirror shine. And I'll be able to seal the beads and stain and maybe even scent them too. And if the collets work, I have a lot of dremel bits that I will finally be able to use after like 3 months of putting this purchase off. And my new place will smell like nature, which I would really like.

So yeah! Lots of good things today, I'm very happy with it. The darkness always comes creeping back in, of course it does. But the light was shining bright today, and I'm very glad I committed so much of myself to generating these beautiful things!

[gogolstoelicker]

Can you do a cyan reader from show by rock for twst boys. also what animes have you watched I’d like to know?

Twisted Wonderland with a Cyan!MC

notes: •honestly i don't watch anime much since i kind of lose interest easily KSKSKS (i might missed some but) i think I've watched owari no seraph, bungo stray dogs, yuukoku no moriarty, vanitas no carte(?), assassination classroom, fairy tail, death note and karnival(i think I'm missing smth so I'll be adding if i remember)

•and i honestly read manhwas more (e: the return of the 8th class magician, who made me a princess etc)

•pls tell me i got her character right

Heartslabyul:

YOU'RE IN A BAND BEFORE???? WELL, HE IS HERE TO PROMOTE HIS CLUB;D

as soon as cater mentioned abt being in a band, your full attention is on him and he had never been more than happy

will tell u abt the club and will ask u to consider joining them (since they're in desperate need of a new member)

immediate relief when u actually join them not too long after

the one who spread you were an idol in ur world (probably how a certain someone finds out too)

tries to get a pic with u EVERYTIME

#withmyfavidol #chilling #theysofab😘

someone pls stop him

that someone being trey and riddle so yey⁉️

trey is more than happy to have u around

he knows cats have bad breathe (my cats.) so he made sure u took care of that

would take away ur pastries privileges if u refuse to take care of ur mouth

riddle is quite curious abt u

and he really likes ur style too!!

ur personality is smth he really likes and appreciates

tho, it would get on his nerves if you're against him since he's not really good with retaliation

ace and deuce experiments on u

actually, it was all ace's idea

deuce thought it was bad but got convinced into ace's plan

yknow that one grass that people wave around for cats to play with? yeah thats them

guess who lost their heads btw

Savanaclaw:

you have animal ears, they have animal ears

kinship???? /JOKE

anyways u probably have ur cat nap with leona sometimes

cat things ig

ruggie shitting tears bc now he have two people to wake up

well at least u dont take a nap every second and is hard to wake up unlike a certain someone

sometimes takes advantage of how you never suspects anyone but shh🤫 u didn't hear that from him

Jack is the one who suspects people for u

will be the one on the lookout for anyone that's trying to take advantage of ur gentle personality and how u never suspect anyone of anything bad

sometimes prays that u will so that u won't get into anything bad (COUGH COUGH azul's deal COUGH COUGH)

insists that he's only doing this for repayment of that thing with savanaclaw evil plan to win some sports

he lied, we all know he did, he actually enjoyed ur company

cheers u on abt u being in a band

in his own way ofc, he's not gonna be THAT obvious🙄🙄*proceeds to be exact that*

sometimes if u invite him, he will actually make time to attend one of ur concerts

u didn't hear this from me tho

leona? leona.

he doesn't care much

just a fellow cat, nothing much here

tho u are a breathe of fresh air from what he's used to

he quite enjoys ur company too but he would rather die than admit it

he especially enjoy ur afternoon cat naps together

Octavinelle:

doesn't matter what species u are, floyd will always want to squeeze u /pos

/neg if u hate being squeezed or just dislike physical touch

azul is like 🤔 hm. maybe we need a performer in here don't you think?

and then stare right into ur soul👁👁

fret not, he'll pay you!! will even prepare anything necessary for ur performance!

the deal is set and now u occasionally perform in monstro lounge

sometimes floyd tried to join in but jade grabbed him by the collar and made sure he does not step foot on the stage

jade is the mad scientist that tried to study u

u are technically a cat🤔do u play what cats play? do u eat those cat foods? can cats like u perhaps... eat mushrooms?👁👁

oh no run

don't worry! azul is here to save u!

by grabbing u by the collar and running away from jade who have his mushroom food in one hand

even floyd ran away, sometimes he'll hoist u up in the air and just carry u like a sack and run like that

speaking of which, they, azul specifically, likes ur personality

esp if u gave a honest feedback on smth for the lounge or them as a person

and ue gentleness is more than welcomed‼️

floyd specifically liked that abt u‼️

Scarabia:

HELLO‼️‼️‼️‼️- kalim to you

jamil trying to shush him bc he's yelling too loud in the hallways

kalim tried to get you to join the light music club!

he even gave u a tour and introduced u to who's the members‼️

he even tried to state the pros and cons of joining them‼️

which doesn't really take much convincing bc u literally said yes

one performance in and so suddenly yall got famous

so famous, other schools even heard of y'all and majority are yalls fans🤔

kalim is more excited than the whole group combined about that

now he believes you're their lucky charm

uh oh

better start asking jamil to turn that belief around

speaking of jamil, he's more than happy to have u around

you're not too loud and is up to troubles like a certain someone he knows and is actually prettu gentle

you're a breathe of fresh air

tho your straightforwardness might get on his nerves a bit🤔

just a bit tho

mostly when u disagree with him

other than that, totally no problems with u

more than happy to leave kalim in ur capable hands as he go and get his rest for once

also!! he's really happy how u still see him as him and not as kalim's shadow

it was really much appreciated that he just

Pomefiore:

oh vil and rook loves your style

gothic lolita??? and u look SO good in it???? MMM.

maybe u wanna join their dorm? hahaha that was a joke that was a joke

or was it.

if u asked, they'll be more than happy to dress u up😁

they got all the frills and ribbons here just. just come over.

don't play with the ribbons tho, this is a warning from vil

he appreciates that you're honest and would give a honest feedback abt smth he asked or with how he dolled u up

he's a celebrity and you're apparently in a band with the light music club that got so popular so suddenly so he can understand if u feel stress etc and would actually offer a spa day‼️

rook watching u from above the trees almost everyday like👁👁

u wondering why is ur senses tingling like someone is watching u or smth🤔

rook actually wrote u a poem sometimes to just appreciate u

someone needs to drag him away bc his poem seems like it will never end

felines(?) should be strong too right??🤔 - epel's first impression

you're strong or not, who knows. just show epel and we'll know ig

actually had his eyes on ur ears like 👁👁

like father like son ig (rook is the dad, no u can't argue with me on this one)

it looks soft so like uh one soft pat?😁pls?😁

likes ur gentle personality actually, that way, he can look and be manlier next to you

when uh, vil isn't around ofc

Ignihyde:

idia going ballistic bc omg!! someone who's in a band who's actually good at singing and actually had sone experience and is actually really good and is ac-

we get it idia:/

actually vibrates in his seat when u turn to look at the tablet he used to go to school

like wow! his idol is looking right at him!

yes, it's a tablet but it's his tablet so you have technically noticed him;D!

don't even ask how u became his idol so quick

probably the one who spreads about u that u just became so popular even outside of school

you're welcome btw

ortho is happy to have a new friend!

he doesn't have many felines or beastman friends (since the savanaclaw people are not really the friendliest), so he's happy that he got u as a friend!

he sometimes watch some youtube videos abt cats and what they play and test it on u🤔

like laser? those feather on a idk string???

probably a bridge for u and idia to start talking too

since he noticed how much of a big fan his brother is of you🤔

idia at first was a mess, he can barely get a word out

but at least he got that autograph💪‼️ (and picture he screenshot from the cctv HELP)

u might need to give him a few weeks for him to even start talking to u normally

Diasomnia:

goth with the goths

you were in a band back in ur world? kewl, how about u join the light music club and be in another band with mister lilia vanrouge over here;D~?!

definitely tries to get u to join the light music club, which does not take long bc u said yes abt it right away to being in a band🤔

since u like to shop for antiques, he is more than happy to indulge u in it!

lilia had lived for thousands of years, of course he have seen and own some antiques himself!

he's even more than happy to explain their history if it have some or maybe the artist if its a piece of art

since you're a cat, lilia had so much fun playing around with u

literally tried to test if you're just like a cat by pointing laser so u can chase it

sebek does think you're talented and made sure you know of it

may or may not have tried getting u to write a song about malleus but shh

he appreciates talents and is not afraid to let you know of it, even as an anti human

he also appreciates that you're honest, that way he can trust u more🤔‼️

i legit do not know how to write more for sebek

just think of sebek as a big chunky protector of his cat friend prefect with their cat monster

silver? silver (silver coloured emoji)

he likes your gentle personality

sometimes, he fell asleep in ur presence

like "oh its prefe- zzzzz"

can u blame him? it's soothing and a breathe of fresh air from what he's used to seeing and tolerating

malleus? over the moon.

like you're gentle and straightforward? 🤩🤩🤩🤩😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

he is just so happy to have u as a friend that he almost brought u a new instrument as a gift

oh he's more than happy to indulge u in some antiques he personally knows too

while he has not live for as long as lilia or travelled the world like him, he does know his fair share of antiques stuff in his long life

would even gift u them if u asked

if you allow it, he'll pet ur ears😁pls.

[zuzanwrites]

Optimus Found Out That it has Been a Decade Since Their Best Friend’s Grandparent Passing

(Disclaimers: Sadness, Slight Depression, Grieving Process)

Characters Mentioned: Miko and (TFP) Optimus

Miko looked at Optimus and said, “Hey, uh, have you seen Y/N at all today?” Optimus looked, confused.

“No, why?” Miko thought for a second, thinking if she really wanted to tell him but decided it was a good idea. “I think you should check up on her, it’s been almost ten years since their grandparent has passed.”

Optimus nodded in understanding. “I’ll check up on them.” Optimus transformed and started to call her on the way to her house. She picked up. “Hey… Do you need anything Optimus?” They sounded sad and just not like herself.

“Miko told me what happened, I was just wondering if you needed anything?” Optimus said, concerned. Y/N laughed alittle. “I’m alright I just need space from everyone for at least today. If you’re free, we could relax with each other at a park or something later. But I have to get flowers soon and pay my respects.” Y/N sounded sorrowful.

“I’ll go with you.” Optimus said calmly. “Are you sure, you really don’t have to?” Y/N said, smiling alittle. “I want to.” They smiled, “I guess you’re outside already?” Y/N looked out the window. Optimus chuckled alittle, “Yup.” They smiled but still grievingly went to Optimus. “You really don’t, have to, I could’ve walked. I kinda need the fresh air anyway.”

Optimus’s holoform looked over, “Yeah, but you seem like you could use the company.”

They shook their head, “Well you’ve got me there.” They both got to the florist, they both got out. They noticed that Optimus was coming and tried not to laugh. “Who the hell do you need to get flowers for?” They asked curiously. “Fowler.” Optimus tried to lie. They were laughing, "Okay, I have to see that.”

They were looking at the flowers and practically got all of the red, white, and blue ones and started saying, “My grandfather supposedly helped America in a war with a important job that didn’t require fighting and he loved everything that was American made, he didn’t have anything really made from other countries until a couple of years before he died.” They started looking at the flowers and their prices before sighing and practically grabbing all of them and speed walking to the cash register.

As they were about to take out their cash and card to pay, Optimus stopped them, "Don't, it's on me." And paid without giving it a second thought.

After they got back in Optimus's truck cabin, they started saying "You really didn't have to, I could have paid for it." I said, smiling alittle.

"You could have, but you really shouldn't have to." Optimus started driving to Y/N's grandparent's grave. When they both got to Y/N's grandparent's grave, Y/N took a deep breath before saying,

"Hey grand(p/m)a. I know it's been a while but I miss you everyday and-" Y/N started to get emotional. Optimus noticed this and wrapped his arm gently around Y/N's side, slightly above the hip, "I just wish that you could see the person I've become. I wish you could just be here telling me how proud you are of how you're grandchild has changed... That would just mean alot to me."

Y/n took a deep breath before starting to compose themselves feeling Optimus's hand on their back. "The doctors found out I have a immune disease that no-one's really heard about. Myasthenia Gravis. I'm getting better at coping with it and not getting as emotional but it still hurts like hell everytime I can't open something as simple as a soup or pasta can, even if it has a tab to pull on it. I don't really like that I have to be on steroids to treat it because I would love to have just the option to play in any sports for fun and I just wish my body could treat it on its own."

They started to smile, "But on a happier note, I do kind of have strong crushes on two people but I know they honestly need to focus on much more important things and they're definitely "out of my league" without a doubt so. But if the rumour's true, and you are really watching over me, then I think you know who they are." They gave a gentle glance at Optimus before looking back at the grave.

"Hope my childhood pets aren't giving you too much trouble. Tell them all that I said hi. I love you all." They placed two fingers to their lips and placed them on the grave stone for a moment before stepping back alittle and giving silent prayers.

After they gave silent prayers they did the holy cross gesture on themselves and walked back to Optimus's truck cabin with Optimus following closely behind.

They visited a park where their name was inscribed on a stone to remember their service during the war. And then they had a picnic with food and stuffs from the human's bag before chilling at base for a while and calling it a day.

[angellesword]

EUPHORIA | JJK

It’s Sunday. Jeongguk was supposed to be at the gym, serving looks. You were supposed to be at the church, serving the Lord. But you two were at the mall, looking for baby toys. You guessed this was your punishment for letting him stick his dick inside of you instead of just using an adult toy.

Alternatively:

“We share the same painful views. Won’t you please stay in my dreams.”

word count: 2.6k (one-shot) PART OF INTRO SERIES

pairing: husband!Jungkook x wife!reader

genre and content warnings: established relationship, angst, fluff, married au, (forced marriage) mention of premarital sex, pregnancy, abortion, Catholic guilt, death, and mental illness.

Sunday was church day.

This was what your whole family made you believe ever since you were young. They were firm believers of God. In fact, your first word wasn't like what most babies said.

Jesus. This was your first word and your mom wasn't even complaining. She loved to brag about it to other lectors and commentators. Your father, a lay minister, also took pride sharing the same story over and over again.

Frankly speaking, you were getting tired of it.

Don't get it twisted. You loved Jesus and you believed that he was your savior. You even sang worship songs at the church every Sunday. You were the head of the choir; every church goer knew you—well, not only church goers.

Literally everyone around you knew you.

You were also popular at school. People referred to you as the good girl who had it all.

You were pretty, smart, and your boyfriend was none other than Jeon Jeongguk.

The man you were dating was a jock. He made it clear that he didn't like studying, but he still wanted to go to a university and apply for scholarship. You had no doubt that he would get what he wanted.

Jeongguk was a star football player after all.

"Babe, what do you think of this?" You showed Jeongguk a stuffed animal. It was a rabbit.

"Cute," he grinned at you. Jeongguk wasn't sure what he found cute. Was it you or was it the stuffed toy?

You and Jeongguk were currently at the mall, buying toys for Haneul, your son who was turning one this month.

"We'll buy this next time.”

The smile Jeongguk was sporting turned into a scowl when you put the toy back to the shelf.

"Next time?" He furrowed his brow, reaching for the rabbit. "Why can't we buy it now?"

"Guk," you let out a sigh. He was feigning innocence but you knew better.

You knew you couldn't afford this kind of toy. Why did you even ask him to go here? It was obvious that you didn't belong here.

Years ago, you and Jeongguk had plans. He wanted to be a famous football player while you decided to major in Marketing; however, your dreams had been shattered when you found out that you were pregnant with his baby.

You didn't know what to do that time. You just graduated high school. Actually, you were supposed to take the college entrance exam at Seoul University.

The test didn't happen because you felt sick that day. You had been vomiting non-stop and everything smelt awful.

You still took a test, though. It wasn't the kind of test you were expecting. You woke up that day to chase you dream, but instead you ended up chasing your breath as you cried and cried and cried.

You took a pregnancy test and the numbing slap of your mother was enough for you to know that you were a disgrace.

A disgrace, a disappointment, an animal, a disrespectful child, and a....

sinner.

You accepted it all. You didn't mind that your whole family was insulting you inside and out.

You didn't blame them—couldn't blame them.

How could you do that when you saw yourself the same way they saw you?

Your mind was poisoning you. You were blaming yourself. You were blaming Jeongguk. He did this to you.

He did this to you because you let him.

So basically, this was your fault.

You ruined your future and the only way to restore everything back to normal was to have an abortion.

Of course you considered abortion. You were young and so, so scared. How could you take care of a child when you couldn't even take care of yourself?

And what about Jeongguk? He didn't deserve this shit. He was young too. He deserved the world, not a punishment.

You considered your child as a punishment. Why didn't you just stick to dildo? Or a fucking vibrator?

There were so many options. Why did you have to trust that stupid condom? You knew it didn't work all the time.

Nothing worked according to your plan.

"You are going to marry Jeon Jeongguk." Your father's words screamed authority.

Everyone in your family was aware that once your father demanded something, it should be followed without any questions. He rarely spoke, but when he did, it was absolute.

"But—" despite knowing the end of this discussion, you still tried to reason out.

You were only able to utter one word before you felt another deafening slap from your mother.

Or was it your father?

You had no idea.

All you knew was that everyone was either physically hurting you or emotionally manipulating you.

"No buts! My decision is final! You are going to marry that Jeon boy!"

Ah, that Jeon boy.

Poor Jeon Jeongguk. He had no idea what was about to happen to him. God. He didn't even know that you were carrying his child.

"We won't allow you to live like a slut anymore," your auntie crossed her arms.

This was the thing about your family. Everyone had a say, even your relative could discipline you. According to them, elders should always be respected. You had to follow what they said because apparently, they knew better than you.

Maybe they did. But still, you didn't want to force Jeongguk to marry you.

Sure, you two had been dating for three years now, but that wasn't enough. What if the love he felt for you wasn't the kind of love that you and your kid needed?

Perhaps you should have thought of that before giving into lust. The tiny voice inside your head sneered at you.

You could only sob.

It seemed like crying was all you could do.

You cried when you found out that you were pregnant, you cried when your parents found out that you were pregnant, and you cried when Jeongguk found out that you were pregnant.

All of this was happening because you were pregnant.

Except one thing:

Jeongguk wanted to marry you not because you were pregnant but because he loved you.

"You don't have to force me.” Jeongguk gritted his teeth when your whole family barged in his house.

Of course the Jeons were surprised. They weren't close to your family even though you lived two houses away from one another.

Your family didn’t want to associate themselves with the Jeons. The latter didn't really believe in the Lord, or even if they did, they were still far from religious.

They raised Jeongguk to be a sinner.

Your family firmly believed that you only got pregnant because Jeongguk forced you.

It wasn't true. You both wanted it to happen. You were consenting adults. Besides, your boyfriend asked you thousands of times if you truly wanted to do it.

He didn't force you. He respected you.

"I will marry her." Jeongguk said with confidence. He was looking at your father as if he was ready to knock him down.

"Jeongguk," his mother called softly. She was crying. She was broken. She was ashamed. She was sorry.

"It's alright, mom." The look Jeongguk gave his mother was the opposite of the glare he threw at your father.

Jeongguk was a sweet boy. He loved his parents so much.

"Shall we talk about the wedding, then?" Your father raised a brow.

Everything happened fast after that. Your family and Jeongguk's parents arranged the matrimony that was about to happen.

The Jeons offered to pay for the wedding expenses. Your family agreed. They didn't really care about the details. They only demanded a church wedding. They also wanted to marry you off as soon as possible.

They said it would be a shame if your baby bump appeared before the white event.

Since the preparation was short, you didn't have a choice but to wear a simple dress. Your mother insisted that you add veil as an accessory.

It was a hypocritical move, really. Veils symbolized innocence and purity.

You were neither.

You were a sinner and guilt was consuming your whole being.

Guilt for disappointing your family.

Guilt for breaking your promise to the Lord.

And guilt for taking something away from Jeongguk.

You took his freedom away.

The small apartment where you two now lived was not enough to showcase what he got. This abode was small, suffocating and confining his talents.

It was also too small to cater your unending tears.

You felt like you were drowning.

"Babe..." Your husband whispered, yet his voice still startled you.

You didn't answer—didn't have the energy to do so. You were drowning, remember? It didn't help that you feel suffocated too. The stupid dress you were wearing was too tight.

"You okay?" Jeongguk enquired, sighing.

He was worried about you. The two of you got married today. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days for brides, but why weren't you happy?

Why did you look...dejected?

"Yeah," you tried to offer him a smile. "I just feel hot."

You weren't lying. You didn't like the ambiance of your house. It felt like a vacation place, like you were a stranger, like you didn't belong.

It was because your mother and sisters were the ones who decorated this place.

"You think you can join me outside?" Your husband rubbed circled on your palm. "Let's have some fresh air?"

You nodded in a heartbeat.

You were tired, but you didn't want to be stuck in this room. You wanted...out.

"Okay.” Jeongguk helped you get on your feet. He was acting as though you were an expensive figurine ever since he learned that you were pregnant.

Your husband led you to the small garden of your home. You didn't know that your family decided to buy a place like this.

You were grateful though. The inside of your home was suffocating, but the garden appeared...magical.

"Jeongguk," your eyes widened in shock. "W-What's all this?"

Your hand was shaking as your eyes scanned the garden. There were fairy lights wrapped around the trees. The place was also decorated with different ornaments and pretty flowers.

Your favorite flowers.

"Do you like it?" Your husband was grinning at you. His eyes were shining brighter than the lights.

"Of course," you cupped his cheeks. "This is sweet, Kookie. Thank you.”

"Anything for you," he brought your hands closer to his mouth, kissing it.

"You deserve everything, baby." And with that, Jeongguk dropped on one knee.

"W-What are you doing!?" You panicked, eyes dilating once again.

"I know everything happened so fast." He started, licking his bottom lip. "We didn't have time to process everything. Our family decided what they think is good for us and trust me, I appreciate it."

You knew he was implying that he wanted this to happen.

"But I want to do something that I want.”  He fished a small box out of the pocket of his slacks.

You gasped.

"They told me to marry you." He opened the velvet box.

There was a ring.

"But they didn't give me the chance to do this," he raised the ring in the air.

"Baby," Jeongguk called, looking at your face with so much fondness. "You deserve a better proposal."

You were sobbing.

"You deserve a man dropping down on one knee. A man who will show you that he is serious about this marriage.”

He took your left hand.

"And I want to be that man. I want to be the man you deserved and not the boy your father coerced,"

You laughed, heart hammering through your chest. Jeongguk was so beautiful.

"I love you..." He confessed as he called your name. "Will you marry me?"

The yes that came out of your mouth was instant. You didn't hesitate. You didn't feel guilty. You just felt....happy.

Jeongguk put the ring on your finger. He kissed your stomach before standing up to crash his lips against yours.

Jeongguk no longer tasted like regret.

He tasted like forever.

Forever...

You swore you would stay with him forever. You felt silly for doubting him.

Jeongguk was a good man.

Your house no longer felt suffocating. It was loaded with love and laughter and it made your heart swell with joy.

Your family didn't bother your life anymore. You were on your own. They stopped supporting you. They said you made a choice—a choice to be a mother.

A mother was a provider, a natural giver.

You provided for your new family. You worked harder. You had two jobs: a waitress and elementary tutor.

Jeongguk continued studying. He was a student in the morning and a delivery boy at night.

You two worked in the same restaurant. Jeongguk tried to cover your shift as much as possible. He was basically doing your job.

He was scared. What if you overworked yourself? He didn't want you to work but you said you had to.

Raising a baby was expensive.

But you did it.

Haneul was turning one year old this month. He was a bright kid and he looked exactly like his father. They had the same brown eyes, so innocent and wide.

You knew you would do anything for your baby—well—except for one.

You wouldn't buy this stuffed toy for him. It's not like you didn't want to. It was more like you couldn't.

You couldn't afford it.

You couldn't, but Jeongguk could.

"Let's buy it...” He repeated. "I have money. I worked overtime last night.”

Your husband was still a delivery boy. You, on the other hand, quit your job so that you could look after your baby.

"Are you sure? This is expensive, Kook." You bit your lower lip.

Jeongguk smiled at you.

"But Haneul will like it.”

His reason was enough for you to just give in.

Of course.

Anything for your little Jeon. You would die for your son.

"Haneul, we're home!" You cooed loudly.

You were excited to see your baby. Jeongguk told you to give Haneul the stuffed toy while he go and express his gratitude to your neighbor for looking after baby Haneul.

Little did you know, Jeongguk was lying.

There was no neighbor to talk to.

It was only an excuse so that he could stare at you through the window as you rocked the empty crib in your room.

You were singing.

"You are the sunlight that rose again in my life..." Your voice was sweet that Jeongguk couldn't help but cry a little.

For you, Haneul was light. He shed light when you felt like giving up.

"You are the cause of my euphoria," your child was also the cause of your happiness.

Without him, you would be lost.

Jeongguk knew it.

Haneul.

This was the name you chose for your kid. It meant heaven.

For you, Haneul was God sent.

But Jeongguk was wondering.

If Haneul was God sent, then why did the Lord take him immediately?

Why did your Lord take him away from you and Jeongguk?

"Close the door now..." You continued to sing.

Jeongguk's heart clenched.

He watched you every day, so he already knew the next line of the song.

He sang with you.

"When I'm with you I'm in utopia..."

Utopia was a special place. A fantasy world. A world where everything was possible.

In Utopia, Haneul was still alive.

Jeongguk wasn't crazy.

He knew you needed help.

You were in denial. Too caught up in fantasy that you refused to believe that your son was already dead the moment he was born.

Haneul died in your womb.

He tried telling you, but you didn't want to acknowledge it.

You became hysterical when the words dead and Haneul were mentioned in the same sentence.

Jeongguk avoided using those words. It had been months now, almost a year actually.

He wondered if he could still continue pretending.

Looking at you hurt.

He guessed it was time to let go.

Not now, but soon.

For today, he just wanted to believe that utopia was real.

It should be fine, right?

more JJK FICS: Your Eyes Tell or check Masterlist

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 1

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: self doubt, adorable plant names... there's really not many warnings for this chapter!

→ word count: 7,973

authors note:

alrighty everyone... here we go! (i’m so nervous) this is the first chapter of this series (which it took me 50 years to figure out whether I wanted this to be a series or a two shot... lets just say that it's gonna be a long one, so I think that a series is the best way to go)! this story is really near and dear to my heart, so 1. I really hope you enjoy it and 2. I hope all of you know how hard it was to write this into words... my goodness. now, make sure you look for clues throughout this series... there's a secret in here that won't be revealed for a while ;)) but if any of you have ideas, please be sure to send an ask while we wait to find out together! anyways, I hope you enjoy !!

authors thanks:

a HUGE thank you to @hantaev and @monvante for beta-reading and being so so supportive of me and this little (but not so little) story... y'all truly have no idea how helpful you've been and how thankful I am to be friends with both of you! forreal, y'all are the greatest and I'm sending you all my love!!

also, if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you 🤍

If time-travel existed, you would be on the first time machine and head back to 2 years ago. A time when you had a free schedule and were able to go out on Friday nights. A time when you felt confident in yourself and were raring to pursue theatre. A time when you didn't have this job (cause apparently, theatre is impossible to get into) that forces you awake at 4 in the morning for the opening shift.

You can't say you don't love your Barista job because you do. Still, when your alarm wakes you from the beautiful dream of performing on the big stage, you have to use everything within yourself to crawl out of your sheet cocoon… and that is unacceptable.

What's even more unacceptable is the fact that your co-worker, Jimin, hasn't arrived at the Academia Cafe yet. You have about 30 minutes to prepare for the morning peak; brew coffees, set up the bakery items, clear the boards "coffee of the day," etc. The problem is, it takes up all of the 30 allotted minutes— and you can't start prepping early because Jimin has the keys to the cafe.

You’ve worked at the Academia Cafe for about a year now, taking a break from your endless theatre audition schedule— since that was getting you absolutely nowhere. No matter how badly you want it, nothing seems to work. No matter how many times you practice, it never seems to be good enough. Let’s just say, you took this job at the cafe because you were over the repetitive let downs.

… But here you are, with a “Jimin being late” let down.

[To: Jimin ☕️] hey, you almost here? times ticking, keys!

You stuff your phone into your winter coat pocket, the brown material catching snowflakes as they fall gently from the cloudy sky. You love this weather; it's always been your favorite. When you were little, you used to pretend to be a dragon; running all over your front yard and releasing heavy breaths that chilled in the air and spread like smoke. You don't enjoy the cold, but the entire feel of winter has you cozying up in a blanket with hot cocoa and a good book… nothing could beat that.

A buzz in your pocket catches your attention.

[From: Jimin ☕️] Hey! Look up.

Your eyes immediately lift to see Jimin smiling a few feet away, shuffling through the snow as he drags the keys out of his pocket. He's sporting a heavy blue coat that reaches down to his knees — making his short stature appear even smaller — topped with a matching blue beanie. Despite his tardiness today, you’ve always been fond of Jimin. He's like a ray of sunshine, beaming through the skyscrapers of the city and making everyone around him happy just by flashing a single smile. Honestly, you wish you could sneak some of that happiness from him and lock it somewhere safe... so you can save it for a time when you need it most.

"Your timing is impeccable." He laughs, gently placing the keys into the front door lock. "You texted me right as I was rounding the corner."

"I'm telling you, Jimin; we're always on the same wavelength."  Smirking, you make your way through the doors of the cafe, greeted by the warmth that surrounds you like your sheet cocoon did this morning, but accompanied by the smell of fresh coffee. "Except for the fact that you, my friend, are late, so now we only have twenty-eight minutes until opening."

Old, rustic book pages litter the cafe's dark walls, executing the dark academia theme flawlessly. You have to give the interior designers a hand, what with the black stools and high dark wood counters etched with different story pages. You wonder if anyone took the time to read the stories that covered the cafe; maybe the stories moved them in a personal way. Maybe there was a reason why they read them, a part of the butterfly effect of their life.

With a quick survey of the main room, you shuffle into the back to put your belongings away. "You would think it would be less busy on the streets because of the snow," Jimin calls, already working on the first batch of light roast coffee. "But unfortunately for me, that was not the case, and I nearly lost my life multiple times on the way here because of how slick it is."

A laugh emits from your lips, echoing in the backroom as you throw your apron over your head.

You begin with date labeling all of the pastry items, placing them accordingly onto the pastry cart; croissants, muffins, scones, etc. Then, you move onto organizing syrups and setting toppings along the bar where drinks are made. Bar is your personal favorite position-- since you're able to make the drinks… Plus, you're so busy that your shift goes by way faster. The sooner you're done, the sooner you get to go home and sleep.

“All set?” Jimin questions when you finish setting the steaming pitchers next to the espresso machine, tossing the rag he used to wipe down tables into the sanitizer bin. You give him a nod, taking a quick once over of the bar. “Alright,” he claps, “let's do this.”

This morning runs like every Friday morning, busy and fast. The sounds of coffee glasses clinking and the calling of customer names at the hand-off station echoes through the air.

Ahhhh, the scenery in coffee shops; the quiet hush over the room as soft jazz plays over the speakers. It’s soothing, all encompassing, and extremely helpful for motivation… You used to go to a local cafe for homework when you were still in school.

You take a breath, relaxing against the back counter as you overhear a conversation a group of regulars are having. It’s the usual small talk: the weather, families, sharing pictures of recent events. Coming up with questions of the day for customers becomes easier after knowing their stories, so you subconsciously listen in often.

Because of this, you almost don't notice the man waiting at the register, wholly delved into the neighboring conversation— only looking over when you hear your name called.

"Y/n?"

You turn your head, catching eyes with the stranger behind the counter who holds his credit card ready. The first thing you notice is that he's young, probably around your age, wearing a brown turtleneck and white slacks. His eyes are dark, standing above his perfectly sculpted nose and lips. His hair is dark as well, forehead drowning within the wavy bangs that fall over his eyebrows as he takes you in. To be completely honest, he's probably the most handsome man you've had the pleasure of seeing… is that weird? You don’t know him… maybe that is weird.

The second thing you notice is that he looks completely anxious, hands grasping the edge of the counter like there's a thousand-foot drop below him. Why is he looking straight at you while doing that? Maybe you should call Jimin to take ove-

“Is it really you?” He questions, taking you aback.

"I-" You clear your throat, walking forward to meet him at the register, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

With an intake of breath, he releases the counter as he studies you. Was he… crying? You swear his eyes were not this bloodshot three seconds ago.

"You-" He pauses, taking another sharp breath and running a hand through his hair. If you thought he couldn't get more attractive, you were wrong. "Do you know me?"

Attractive? Yes. Psycho?...possibly.

You shake your head slightly, “I… I’m sorry. I don't-"

Wait… is he a regular? You swear you haven't seen him come into the cafe before. Shoot.. What if he is? The number one thing your boss has made perfectly clear: remember the regulars, so they come back and feel at home; recognized. Customer connection was the most important thing at the Academia Cafe… He's probably a regular.

“I’m so sorry, there're so many people that come to visit us and sometimes I forget the regulars!” You apologize. “That’s my fault… remind me of your name again?”

He's staring at you. Full-on staring, jaw slacked. Shifting uncomfortably in your keds, you eye beside you to see Jimin working away at a macchiato. You consider changing places, nearly walking over to him before the customer speaks again.

"It's- It's Taehyung."

You force a smile, nodding while he continues to stare at you. He seems a bit more hesitant, his eyes looking in different directions but ultimately falling back onto your own. Even if he tried, he couldn't hide the rosy color that spreads onto his cheeks. What was this guy's problem?

"Taehyung! Awesome, well, what can I get for you today?" You chirp, attempting to brighten up your increasing discomfort. He might have mistook you for someone else, you decide, jumping back into your customer service personality: kind and quick to the point.

Taehyung doesn't move, training his eyes on you. You've never had a man's undivided attention before, since boyfriends were never an option. When you were a teenager, you stayed home most of the time in your hometown, and the boys there were all just in it to take your pants off. You avoided them and never really caught their attention, so you can't help the uncomfortable blush that grows on your cheeks. It’s short lived though, your nerves dissolving as soon as you notice a single tear fall onto the front of his shirt.

Oh. Okay, he’s definitely crying.

"Sir..." You begin, leaning in closer to avoid drawing attention. "Is everything alright?"

"I…" The shake in his voice is evident as he puts his credit card back into his wallet, still refusing to break eye contact. “Excuse me." Without another word, he turns on his heel and rushes towards the exit, clocking a customer in the shoulder in his rush. He apologizes quickly, bowing to them before glancing behind to make eye contact with you once more.

You wish you could read minds, wondering what the hell is going through his brain… but you notice the tiniest gleam of a hopeful smile that hides on his lips.

And then he’s gone.

“I swear it was the strangest thing, Jimin.” You speak nervously, tugging at the strings of your apron and lifting it over your head. It had been busy all day, despite a quick thirty minute break when everyone had left and the cafe was suddenly a deserted island. You appreciated the busyness, it made your shift go by faster. Right now, all you wanted to do was go home, eat a fat bowl of icecream and distract yourself from the events of today with a movie. Thank God your shift was over.

“Maybe he thought you were someone else?” Jimin insists, taking a bite into the extra Blueberry Muffin you’d accidentally heated when you were distracted by the events that occurred earlier.

“Yeah? Well, I must be the spitting image because he was totally freaked out.”

“You never know, y/n. Or, maybe he just used that as an excuse to talk to you.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, throwing your rolled up apron at him harshly before you grab your belongings.

“Ha, ha, you’re hilarious. This guy looked like he had seen his ex… He was crying. I don’t think he was into me.”

“Maybe his eyes were watering from the cold wind?” He offers.

“Enough to cry actual tears?” You scoffed, “C’mon Jimin.”

He shrugs defensively, picking up his things so the two of you can head out a few minutes earlier than usual. Whenever the baristas have a chance to leave early, they take it. “If he comes back, then ask him: hey, dude, what’s your deal?”Jimin works his way through the cafe, throwing an excess chair upside down onto the table with the rest of them.

You hold your hand above your heart, which is still beating at a faster pace due to this discussion. Can hearts even beat this fast? This can’t be healthy… “Oh wow, you have such a way with words. That definitely won’t make him feel uncomfortable!”

Yes. Sarcasm coping mechanism.

“Y/n.” Jimin meets you at the door and puts his hands on your shoulders, making extra sure he has your attention. “Go home. Don’t think too much into it… He was probably high or something and mistook you for his ex that dumped him and now he’s moping through the city and getting into all sorts of trouble and he’ll forget that he even came here tomorrow morning. Okay?”

You nod slowly, exiting the cafe with Jimin on your tail. "Don't worry, y/n." Jimin adds, "He probably won't even come back." He locks the door and gives you one last thumbs up before heading in the opposite direction, calling out at the last second. “See you tomorrow!”

The forced smile on your face appears again (looks like this was a regular occurrence today), waving him goodbye.

Yeah… tomorrow.

Jimin was right. The handsome crying stranger was probably never coming back.

It has been a few weeks since you met him for the first time. Now, it feels like a distant memory. He hadn’t shown up to the cafe the day after the encounter, or the day after that, or the day after that, and eventually you’d come to the conclusion that he was probably never going to show his face again out of pure embarrassment. You can’t say you blame him. You’d be embarrassed too if you stared at and cried over a random stranger.

Still, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment... You'd kind of hoped you could figure out what his problem was, maybe ease his mind a little if you really did look like a past lover. You would make sure he knew that it wasn't you. What if he was avoiding the cafe because he literally thought you were someone else? Great… now you just feel bad.

"Y/n? Are you listening?" Jimin beckons over the phone.

"Huh? What?" You bounce back to reality, the soft comforter of your bed lying beneath you as you stare out the window. Thanks to your wonderful apartment search, you have a beautiful view of the city. Jimin had helped you find a place when you first moved here. The two of you had met when you visited to check out the first apartment options; he even took you out for a drink afterward to celebrate the first days' completion. Jimin had immediately clicked with you, as he does with everyone-- he was the kind of person to make friends insanely quickly. He must've been super popular in high school... unlike you.

"Y/n Y/l/n. I am giving you a chance to meet more people, and you're not even listening to me!" He cries, a light smack coming from the other end (probably from him slamming his hand on the table).

"Okay, okay-- I'm sorry. I'm listening now; what's up?"

With a deep sigh, he speaks again. "Party. My house. Tonight. It's not gonna be wild, don't worry... it's just a get-together with some of my friends, and you can have a few drinks if you would like to."

Gnawing at your bottom lip, you look over towards the clock on your nightstand. 5:00. "I don't know..." You begin, the bed shifting as you raise into a seated position. "I have to work tomorrow morn-"

"Already got your shift covered." He deadpans.

"What??"

"I already got your shift covered, so you have no excuse."

This sly guy.

"Who covered it?" You question, setting the audio to speaker-phone as you rummage through old text messages you haven't gone through (to prep for your "thank you for covering my shift" text message).

“Jin.” Noted.

“So…” Jimin continues, “are you coming?”

You can't even remember the last time you met new people, let alone gone to a party. Parties weren't necessarily your thing, especially with your busy schedule of workdays and auditions-- you just never had the time. You should be excited, right?

Well, you aren't.

"Jimin, I don't know… I'm not really a huge fan of parties." You mumble over the phone, picking at the lone string that popped out of its stitch on your comforter.

"Y/n, it's a small get-together, and it's not gonna be that kind of party. Believe me; it'll be really chill. It's just me, you, a few other coworkers, and some friends from my journalism class."

You chew at your bottom lip, looking over at your closet to see a single green cocktail dress that you hadn't worn in years. The memory of the dress was a good one… you had just finished up curtain call for The Addams Family and wore that dress to the after-party. It's a short sleeve, layered green dress that flows just over your knees, the same color sash tying the waist in a floppy bow. You blush at the memory of winning best dressed.

A pause, “Okay.” You conclude. “I’ll go.”

Jimin was honest about how chill it would be; soft music plays in the background as the group sits around the table playing cards. A basketball game is playing on the TV, desperate for attention as a player scores a 3-pointer, but no one is watching. Shuffling of cards is the only sound heard in the room as the game continues.

The atmosphere is calm… quiet…

“BULLSHIT.”

The immediate crumble of everyone’s mood causes the loud “HELL YEAH” that makes you jump in your seat.

"And that is how it's done, Ladies and Gentlemen." Jungkook (your fellow coworker) claps, his smile brighter than the sunset that seeps through the curtains on the opposite side of the room.

"And that's on cheating!" Jimin picks up the cards in the center of the table, gathering them clumsily back into a pile.

"It's called having skill," Jungkook replies, holding his hands up as he smirks at his opponents.

"No, it's called luck." Yoongi finalizes as he puts his hand of cards down on the table with a roll of his eyes. You haven’t met Yoongi before until tonight. He’s one of Jimin's friends from Journalism Class.

When you arrived, you decided to sit out of this round and learn to play before joining the game-- knowing you; you would've been crushed within the first minutes of playing. Card games weren’t exactly a skill of yours— board games on the other hand were where it’s at! That, and charades. For the sake of the party, a card game didn’t sound too bad this time around— so you poke at Jimin to give you the hand as he serves cards for everyone else.

“Wait, wait, wait—“ Jimin pauses, his hand disappearing beneath the table to grab his phone. “Hello?”

“I’m not Irish, so does luck really count?” Jungkook questions in a hushed whisper, nudging Yoongi in the side.

“Oh hey...yeah... it’s apartment 205.” Jimin continues.

“You’re so funny, Jk. Maybe you’ll actually become successful if you choose stand-up comedy rather than becoming a musician.” Yoongi replies nonchalantly, his cat-like eyes staring at the abandoned pile of cards before he seems to come to the decision to shuffle them himself. He gives you a small smile when you hold your hand out to signal that you’re joining in this round.

“Mhm, you can just walk on in! Doors unlocked… okay.. alright, see ya in a minute.” When Jimin's phone is down, Yoongi passes a hand of cards to him.

“Think you can beat me, Y/n?” Jungkook asks,”Since apparently these four can’t?” He motions to Yoongi and Jimin, glancing at the other two players of the game: Hoseok (Jimins other classmate) and his girlfriend, Faith.

“I think I can.” You say, smirking at the determined expression on Jungkooks face. Even if you weren’t very fond of card games, there was one thing you were even less fond of: losing.

“Mmm, might want to rethink that, but okay.” Jungkook replies. The two of you are death staring when the sound of the front door creaking open catches the attention of everyone else at the table. Jimin shoots out of his chair.

“Taehyung!”

You freeze.

"You-" He pauses, taking another sharp breath and running a hand through his hair. If you thought he couldn't get more attractive, you were wrong. "Do you know me?"

Attractive? Yes. Psycho?... possibly.

“I’m so sorry, there're so many people that come to visit us and sometimes I forget the regulars!” You apologize. “That’s my fault… remind me of your name again?”

"It's- It's-."

“Taehyung, you just missed me creaming everyone in bullshit.” Jungkook boasts. Your eyes are glued to the side of Jungkook's head, not daring to make eye contact with the source of your nerves the past few weeks.

“Oh did I?” The familiar, deep voice utters.

Okay.. you can’t help but look…

Holy—it’s actually him.

Immediate regret sinks into your soul when you see him. God, he’s even handsomer than you remember. A white woolen sweater hangs over a pair of his black pants, matched with white sneakers and accenting the head of dark wavy hair you’d been thinking about since you last saw him.

“Yep!” Jungkook continues. “And now Y/n’s about to get shitfaced too.”

The moment his eyes swiftly glance your way is the moment you crumble and turn your head back to Jungkook. You had hoped to make a sly remark, something along the lines of “in your dreams,” but you’re caught breathless from the tension in the room. The tension only the two of you are aware of. He must be tense too, right?

“I wouldn’t underestimate her.” You hear out of Taehyung's mouth, stealing a look at his face once more. He’s smirking at Jungkook, hanging his coat on the hook beside yours, oblivious of the way you’re basically dissecting his every move.

“Have you met Y/n?” Jimin questions, provoking Taehyung's eyes to fall back onto yours. This time, you don’t look away.

He doesn’t answer right away, making you more nervous than you should be— the silence deafening as you make to explain, “We-“

“No.” He states plainly, cutting you off. An innocent smile plays on his lips as he looks at Jimin and places his messenger bag beside the door.

No? Uhhh, was he not the guy who pretended to know who you were and cried in front of you without even explaining why? Nope, it’s definitely him.

“I’m Taehyung.” He calls in your direction, offering you a boxy smile and a small nod, “Don’t let Jungkook fool you. A girl pinched him when we were in grade school. He barely lasted five seconds before running away screaming.” Taehyung moved to the table, sitting beside the man he just brutally embarrassed.

“That girl was terrifying. She was way taller than all the other sixth graders. It was an unfair situation.” Jungkook protested, sinking in his chair as he shuffled the cards he held in his hand.

You couldn’t help but stare dumbly at Taehyung. Was he embarrassed of his outburst at the cafe that he just hopes you forgot about him? You guess you didn’t exactly meet each other, other than a few words exchanged before he disappeared out the door. He probably doesn’t want his friends to know about what happened. Or did he not recognize you and completely forgot about the whole ordeal?

Okay, it’s fine… totally fine.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind,” you laugh, “no more coming in late, Jk. Or I’ll have to pinch you.”

Jungkook merely rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his beer. You see the crinkle in Taehyung's eyes as he laughs, the boxy smile taking root on his face again… a smile you’ve begun to enjoy the look of.

Hey. Snap out of it. This guy is so confusing. That’s a red card.

You straighten up in your seat, catching Jimin's attention when you move towards the kitchen, motioning with your hand to signal that you’re getting another drink. You have a feeling you’re gonna need some more alcohol to get through the evening.

Jimins place is clean, every knick knack placed neatly where it belongs; accompanied by the smell of potted plants that he keeps by his windows. Little name tags are attached to the plant stems: Flo, Sprout, Bob. He names his plants. Sweet.

He, like you, has a great view of the city too, a mid-size window perched above his breakfast nook where a small potted plant (quotabley named “bean”) grows. The city is bustling below as you reach for a beer, shrugging off the fact that you hate beer, but at least the taste will distract you from Tae-

“Hey.” You hear a soft voice call from the kitchen archway. When you turn you nearly drop the bottle out of your hand. Taehyung gives you a soft smile.

“Hey! Uh.. did you want a beer, or are you a wine guy?” You question, cringing at how much higher your voice sounds at his close proximity.

“I— Sorry, neither.” He starts, shoving his hands into his pockets as he makes his way around the island. “I uh- I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

You nod slightly, “Yeah of course… what’s up?”

“Um,” he’s nervous, you notice. “I just wanted to apologize about the whole thing at the cafe a few weeks ago.. I was— not in the right state of mind.” He meets your eyes hesitantly, “you just look like someone I know from a long time ago and it kind of.. took me by surprise, I guess.”

Jimin was right. You offer him a smile, shaking your head in disbelief, “You know what, I truly thought that was the reason… It’s totally fine. I’m not who you think I am, by the way.”

A flicker of something crosses his features at your comment, something you can’t quite pick up, but he changes it quickly to a smirk. “Obviously.” He laughs, “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.. I’m not weird, I swear.”

“Mmm, that’s what they all say.” You tease.

He laughs, a soft sound that you want to hear over and over again. “You’ve got me there.” He takes a pause, placing his hands on the island countertop. “Let’s start over? If that’s okay? I didn’t want to mention it when I came in because I wanted us to have a fresh start.”

You push down the questioning thought of who this woman he mistook you for was, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. “That’s totally okay.. clean slate?”

“Clean slate.” He finalizes.

“Straightforward,” You add, “I like it.”

He gives you a warm smile, the same edge in the way he looks at you dances in his eyes before he breaks it off, sliding the bottle of beer out of your own hand. “Actually, I think I will have a beer. You don’t seem like a beer drinker, anyway.” He turns quickly, smirking at you before striding out of the room. “Thanks, Y/n!”

Protestations die on your lips as he disappears from the room, your beer along with him. How rude. You can’t help the smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you turn back to the cupboard, skipping the beer and pouring yourself a second glass of wine. You weren’t a beer drinker, after all.

Although you weren’t one for parties, you couldn’t help but admit the fact that you were having a good time. No, a great time. All of you are seated in Jimins living room; a plate of chips sits on the coffee table, which was the hot spot of the night (considering there’s hardly any remaining). Others in the group still have a glass of alcohol in their hands, the tipsiness evident by the slurring of their words. You had stopped yourself after half of your second glass, playing it safe since you still have to walk home after the party. You weren’t much of a drinker anyway-- your family history being the root of this decision.

It isn’t the games that made the night this enjoyable, or the food, or the movie that is currently playing over Jimin's television (which, by the way, is Moulin Rouge, because half of the room enjoys musicals, and the other half enjoys regular movies. So, you decided to settle on a movie musical). None of that matters, except the fact that you’ve never felt this carefree in a long time.

For one night, you can put aside your cafe job, auditions, and never-ending to-do lists and just have fun. Real fun. Even in the audition rooms, it has never been fun for you. It’s been nerve-wracking to a fault and always ends with a “thank you for taking the time, but we’ve decided not to accept you this time around,” or a callback, which ultimately concludes with the same grueling fate.

But this is different.

This is a group of people who genuinely want to spend time with you and get to know you… with no “not this time’s” or open-ended questions.

Especially with Taehyung. You’re surprised at how quickly the two of you seemed to hit it off, despite the awkward introduction. Now, it feels like he’s known you for years… in the best way. You’re comfortable talking to him, chatting together during the movie about the plot points or songs you find specifically endearing. You had initially planned to sit next to Jimin… but ended up next to Taehyung on the couch.

It just happened.

He enjoys musicals as well, you learn. Maybe not as much as you do, but at least he doesn’t despise them. He’s one of Jimin’s friends from their shared art class. He loves the color brown. His favorite food is watermelon. He does illustrations for Jimins journalism projects (which, in your opinion, are exceptional from the photos he showed you during the movie while the others were engulfed in the film). He wishes to pursue traveling journalism, where he draws what he sees rather than taking pictures. His whole aura is warm… like a heated blanket that envelopes you whole when you feel him shift beside you on the sofa. A small reminder that he’s still there.

Okay, you’re liking his presence way too much.

He finds romance movies corny but a guilty pleasure nonetheless. This, the reason why he agreed to watch Moulin Rouge despite the cheesiness in the beginning. In the end, it was anything but cheesy.

"Well, that was stupid." Jungkook scoffs, slamming the remote onto the neighboring loveseats' armrest. The once loud room filled with music is now quiet from the after-effects of the movie.

“I told you it was sad!” Jimin exclaims. The two of you had seen this movie before in theatres… and this was nothing compared to how the ending hit the first time. “Y/N was nearly choking. She was crying so hard when we saw it.”

An immediate blush rises onto your cheeks as you shake your head in defiance, trying to hide the tears that had been stinging your eyes for the last thirty minutes. “Who wouldn’t cry at that??”

“Taehyung probably didn’t. He never cries.” Hoseok deadpans. Ha. You can’t help but remember the tear that ran down his face in the cafe… He never cries?

With a quick look over your shoulder, you find that Taehyung is no longer seated on the couch. When did he get up? You attempt to shrug off your curiosity, pivoting back towards the chip table where only sad little crumbs remain. You were worrying way too much over a man you quite literally just met tonight… even if it felt like you’ve known him for much longer.

Taehyung eventually reappeared, stating that he had to use the bathroom— you ignored the fact that it took him a solid 30 minutes to get back to the party. It wasn’t your place to ask any questions, especially since he lifted a smile onto his face the second he reentered the room. See, y/n… nothing to worry about.

It wasn’t long before you insisted you head home, knowing that you’d curse yourself in the morning if you stayed out past the sunrise. If you did, you’d sleep through tomorrow, and that would be awful. You’ve done this a few times… and every time, you felt like you had wasted an entire year of your life.

You move to grab your purse and jacket, which are hanging comfortably on the hook beside the front door. With a small smile, you bid everyone goodnight— smiling as they resume a card game around the table at one o’clock in the morning. It’s nice to know that the group of you hit it off… now; you can look forward to plenty of get-togethers in the future.

Your mind is bustling with all kinds of ideas: picnics in central park, late-night broadway shows, hangouts at the caf-

“Y/n!” The soft calling of Taehyung's voice causes you to halt near the exit, turning on your heel to see him jogging towards you. He had haphazardly thrown his jacket over him since it’s still being tugged onto his body as he runs. His hair becomes even more chaotic in his haste… Why do you want to run your hands through it?

“Hey!” You squeak, interrupting your thoughts before they trudged down a guilty road. “What are you doing? Weren’t you going to play another round?”

He gives you a smirk, catching his breath as he holds out your house keys. “You forgot these! You were really moving fast… sick of us already?”

“Wh— oh my god, thank you!” With a quick swipe of your hand, you’re stuffing your keys into your pocket with a grateful smile. “Also, hardly.”

You admire the way his eyes light up at your confession. “Well.. since you don’t want to leave us so quickly.. how about I walk you home?” He seems almost hesitant asking, but you can’t help but applaud him for actually taking the initiative to inquire.

You shake your head, pulling the strap of your purse farther up your shoulder. “You don’t have t-“

“I want to!” He cuts you off quickly, catching you by surprise as he moves past you to open the door. He glances back, taking in your reluctant expression, “It’s not safe this time of night Y/n… You shouldn’t be alone.“

You know he didn't mean anything by that statement… But the idea of someone genuinely caring and not wanting you to be alone makes your heart swell. Jimin cares about your safety of course, but this feels… Different.

This is the reason why you allow him to walk you home.

The snow crunches beneath your feet, like a symphony that beckons you home. You’ve been feeling exhaustion seeping into your bones for the last ten minutes, but Taehyung's occasional brush of his arm as he walks beside you keeps you wide awake. He doesn’t think to apologize for accidentally touching you, but you blame it on the time of night. Delusion.

“How long have you lived in New York?” You question, wrapping your coat tighter around you to kick out the nipping air.

“About a year now,” He responds, shuffling his feet, “though it feels like way longer. You?”

“Three years.”

Taehyung turns his head towards you, eyes wide. “Wow, way to one up me.” With a teasing smile he continues, “You must know this city like the back of your hand.”

The truth is… you don’t. You came here for the sole purpose of making it on Broadway... you never really took the time to focus on anything else. Part of you wishes you had learned more, craved more, wanted more with your life—then you wouldn’t be so miserable when the one thing you do want doesn’t work out. “Yeah… kind of.”

If he hears the somber tone of your voice, he ignores it, turning against the wind as he walks backwards down the sidewalk. “It’s overrated in my opinion.”

You raise your head at this, “Why is that?”

“Everyone here has dreams… and those dreams get crushed more often than not.” He shrugs, “No one cares if you want to succeed, only if you already have.”

You stare at him for a moment, awestruck by the weight of his words. “But,” he adds, turning back towards the wind, “the ones who never give up and continue to chase that dream can become successful. Despite all of the no’s they might face, they always hold on till they hear a yes. That sounds like true success to me.”

Turning your head, you stare at the side of his face— admiring the way his hair tosses back a bit against the harsh winter winds. His words hit you way deeper than he probably realized, sinking into your chest with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. You’ve been contemplating recently on whether or not to give up on your dream… that maybe it just wasn’t going to work out for you. You have been trying for so long, and have repeatedly been let down. There was no way Taehyung could have known, which is why his words hit you as hard as they did. Despite the hardships, you’ve been here for three years and you’ve never given up or stopped trying to chase your dream.

That was an achievement, right?

“To be honest… I've heard a lot of no’s in my three years of being here.” You speak softly, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind your ear. “Sometimes it feels like there will never be a yes… but here I am. At least I'm still working— at a coffee shop, not on the stage.”

“It’s admirable that you keep going.” Taehyung glances at you over his shoulder. “It makes you different from a lot of people who have left the city when they faced failure. It’s something to be proud of. Plus, coffee shop or big stage, you’re in New York City and pursuing your gift. It’s special.”

When your eyes meet, you smile at him, feeling a sense of victory the longer you hold his gaze.

“Don’t give up, Y/n. No matter what.” He speaks genuinely, leaning towards you to nudge you gently on your shoulder. You can’t help but laugh at his playfulness, giving him a nudge in return before your eyes downcast to your winter boots. The snow on the ground is fresh, powdery and sticking to the toes of your shoes. “Plus,” He adds, sucking in the chilly air, “you've got what others don’t have…”

This time when you meet his eye he has a serious expression, making sure he has your full attention as you round the corner towards your apartment building. His gaze is genuine, captivating… and a part of you hopes that the close proximity of your apartment wouldn’t cut this moment short. Finally, he speaks.

“You have passion.”

Taehyung's words weigh on you for the rest of your night. It started off as something simple, looking up audition songs for an upcoming off-broadway show your agent was telling you about. Then, you went to learning it. After that, putting on makeup. And finally, completely forgetting about your sleep schedule and filming an entire audition tape in your room at 2 in the morning (and you were belting… your poor neighbors). It wasn’t until four that you finally turned in for the night, not bothering to take off your makeup or get changed-- simply falling onto your pillow and blacking out the moment you hit it. You were definitely sleeping the next day away… but at that moment, you didn’t mind. Having a day off from your busy schedule wouldn’t be so bad.

“I sent in an audition tape two nights ago.” You speak confidently, wiping down the back counter that’s littered with coffee grounds. They stick to the rag like glue, tiny dots scattered along its white surface. If it weren’t for your apron,

and your expertly rolled up white turtleneck sweater, you would look alot like this rag right now.

“Did you?” Jimin questions from the bar, sleeving the cup before placing it on the handoff counter.

“Christopher! Medium cappuccino!” He calls, multitasking while he cranes his neck to still hear you.

“I did. I feel really good about this one..” You add, meeting him beside the bar as he lifts the pitcher up and down to create the latte-art of a flower in the center of the mug. You have tried sooooo many times to make latte art… and every time it ended up looking like a glob. A big, distorted snowball. Jimin was the master of latte art, always finishing it off beautifully with a whip of his wrist. The foam atop telling a story. “It was so late-- I was totally out of it… and yet I actually enjoyed myself while filming it. I just imagined being there.. In center stage.”

“I’m happy for you, Y/n!” He smiles, turning to place the hot mug next to the cappuccino.

“Caleb! Medium caramel latte!”

He was only half listening to you. The cafe was bustling, so it truly wasn’t Jimin's fault that he was sidetracked— but nothing could hold back the small smile that played at the edge of your lips. You had actually enjoyed singing for the first time in a while.. all because of Taehyung's Academy Award winning pep talk. Who knew that all you needed was for someone to tell you like it is. With a minuscule smile, you turn back towards the counter and lift the latte you’d whipped up this morning to your lips. Your distorted snowball is fully on display at the top.

Despite the busyness, the front register is deserted, giving you time to think for a moment about the pep talk... or rather, the person who gave you it.

“I think Taehyung likes you.” Jimin deadpans.

Uhhh… You nearly spit out your snowball at that— clearing your throat as you set it down slowly onto the wooden countertop. He speaks as if this is a natural conversation starter… it’s not.

“I’m sorry?” You croak.

“Taehyung.” He repeats, turning his head in your direction with a knowing smirk. “I think he likes you.”

You give him a scoff of disbelief, watching as yet another group of regulars enter through the door. “That’s not true, he just doesn’t know me… so he made an effort to talk to me.” If you weren’t studying the group, you would've seen Jimin giving you a scrutinized look.

So, now you have his attention.

“Y/n. It’s so obvious… He spent the entire night talking to you, he left moments after you did to give you your keys and he never came back. If that isn’t someone who’s interested, I don’t know what is.” Jimin is an expert at multitasking, finishing off two drinks at the same time and calling them out.

“Well, Jimin, when people don’t know each other, they get to know each other. It’s this thing called talking and becoming friends.” The sentence hangs in the air as the doorbell chimes, signaling that yet another customer has entered the cafe and into the swarm of regulars, but the two of you disregard the sound and continue on through your bickering.

“I’m just saying, Taehyung doesn’t usually talk to girls.” Jimin adds, wiping his hands off on the white rag seated beneath his espresso machine. “Even if they wanted his attention, he didn’t give it to them. I mean— he’s nice to girls, don’t get me wrong.. but he’s never talked to them like he did with you on game night. I don’t think he’s dated anyone since he got here.”

“He’s career driven.” You say quickly.

If you thought his smirk couldn’t get any wider, you were wrong. “Yeah, girls don’t know that about him— meaning he told you, and not other girls.” Jimin deadpans.

You stare blankly at him. There’s no way. No way that a guy as attractive as Taehyung would even think about looking at you like that. There’s just no way. You’ve never had a boyfriend... or even a guy friend, until Jimin. Eventually, you’d accepted the fact that maybe you just weren’t that interesting. Maybe you weren’t pretty enough. Maybe you couldn’t flirt…. okay, you definitely couldn’t flirt— but that’s besides the point.

“He’s not interested in me.” You conclude.

“He is.” Jimin counters.

“He’s not.”

“He so is.”

“He’s so not.”

“Y/n. I swear to you. He’s interested and you need to shoot your shot.” He whisper-screams, throwing the rag in his hand onto the bar.

“Taehyung is not-“

A clearing of someone’s throat from beyond the register cuts your argument short, nearly making you lose your balance when you see who the source was.

You’re fairly certain you’ve turned pale.

Taehyung stands in front of you, eyeing between the two of you with an awkward expression. God, how long has he been standing there? “I figured I should step in before the two of you start fist fighting.”

“Hey!” The shrill of your voice causes you to wince.

“Hey.” He says with a smile, folding his arms in front of him and raising his eyes to the menu above your head. You can’t help the glare you send towards Jimin, who's notably holding back his laughter as he moves to the blender, the station farthest from the register. Ridiculous.

“What can we get for you?” You ask routinely, trying not to make it obvious that you were just talking about him… and praying that he wasn’t there to hear what the two of you were talking about.

“Hmm…” He looks especially good today, wearing a brown, long coat and a brown plaid scarf around his neck. He wasn’t kidding when he said his favorite color was brown, that’s for sure. It suits him. His hair is wavy, flowing to a point just under his eyebrows with a split off center, giving you the tiniest glimpse of his forehead. “How about an americano with hazelnut, and some cream?”

“We can do that for ya!” You have to force yourself to stop looking at him, pressing the buttons to ring up his order before you forget. You nearly overlook ringing up the hazelnut syrup. Why were you so dazed? He’s already placed his credit card into the chip reader, but your foggy brain asks anyway. “Anything else?”

“Yes, actually.” He speaks as you move towards the bar beside the register. Grabbing an empty pitcher, you pour the milk inside and reach for the steamer. He drops a dollar into the tip jar, not giving you enough time to thank him for the unnecessary effort before he speaks again. “Are you free later?”

NEXT CHAPTER

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