#wha t u mean

[stormbreaker-290]

Okay, hear me out, but-

takin a bath with mal?

Any thoughts?

hhhhhhhhhHHhshjdhshsjshxjsuejaydjwyejcbjshseykahdjaiajdhnaishdywksjxhanchjshdjshdh

O h well

Well now I have. Some

A hm

[darabeatha]

gonna be real with you chief i was completely unfamiliar with that copypasta until .2 seconds ago so i thought you were having a crisis on the dash

/ HELPELHPLHEP I JUST FOUND IT AND IT MADE ME LOOSE ITTTT, I love those type of meme-y copypastas so much; lit me at a.rjuna (or any of my fav characters) always

[cithaerons]

thr minute tumblr staff decides to sponsor a fandom it becomes so so annoying

[fade-out-lights]

going to pretend i now only have fandoms where things are kinda fine until i find another fandom where everyone's dying and also. blood.

[aphomic]

Spiritually I pray that when next season comes out, there comes more h.ypmic blogs 🥃🚬

[awkwardarmadildo]

to add on to the humans are space orcs/earth is the universe's australia, sensing. my therapist has recently explained that its not normal the way i know who and where someone is by their footsteps. not just the sound, but the vibrations. if someone isnt purposely walking on light feet, i can tell who and where they are, even with headphones blaring. imagine a human on a ship and the awe-filled terror itd earn from their non-human crewmates.

edit: ive realized i wasnt clear enough in my intentions. im not saying "if you can tell peoples footsteps apart, youve been ✨️ T R A U M A T I Z E D ✨️ d-(^♡^)-b ". its about the inherent panic in Not hearing the steppies and therefore Not having the time to prepare yourself for whoever might be approaching and essentially being ambushed. also, being able to tell if someone is normalTM, happy, sad, et cetera. the combined terror of not being given time to make oneself "presentable" for whoevers coming, And Also whoever has just seemingly teleported is fucking pissed, which is never good. Anyways, enjoy!!! ＼(^o^)／

Gilith enters the library, searching for Human Raven. They seem to be found most often either here or in one of the many gardens on the ship. Human Alex said he'd likely find them here today.

Gilith pokes his head through the doorway, not seeing Human Raven, but before he can move on, a voice calls out from one of the high-backed chairs decorating the library.

"Hello Lithy, what do you need?"

Gilith sputters, "Wha- Human Raven, how did you know it was me?" Gilith makes his way over to the chair that held Human Raven in a twisted knot that, when Human Raven stood up, would surely leave a horrifying crunch Human Alex had likened to a human candy that exploded in one's mouth.

"You've got some loud stompers, Lithy."

"I do not know what that means, Human Raven."

Raven stands, causing Gilith to flinch at many snaps and crackles of their bones settling into place, and smiles up at his towering form.

"What did you need?"

Gilith notices more and more Human Raven's greetings. He thought maybe they could hear him coming, but they greeted him while wearing ear speakers, the volume so loud, Gilith could hear it from a few feet away.

Humans did not have psychic skills, and the only other human who seemed capable of a preemptive greeting was Human Alex. The two seemed to share all of their off-hours, so maybe that was where he could find his answers.

Gilith scoured the many gardens, stopping just outside of the doorway. He could hear Human Alex and Human Raven chattering to each other, but neither seemed to notice his presence.

In an attempt not to disturb them, he walked with what Human Bea had described as "tip-toes". A challenging feat, considering his round flat feet, but he managed.

Both Human Raven and Human Alex had their backs to him, so he coughed in the same way Human Bea often did to get everyone's attention.

The reaction he got was unexpected when both Human Raven and Human Alex flinched so hard their shoulders seemed to lock.

"My apologies! I didn't mean to startle you," he rushed over, but stopped short when they both flinched again. He recoiled his hand.

"It's ok, Lithy," Raven says, voice slightly choked. "Just give us a sec."

"Oh. Okay." Gilith turned his eyes down.

"What-" Alex started, his voice sounding as though it was rubbed raw. He cleared his throat and tried again. "What can we do for you, Gilith?"

"I did not have anything specific to talk to you about. I wanted to..." he trails off. "I wanted to inform you of the new plants we are picking up at the next trade planet."

Gilith feels his face twist with the lie, but now didn't seem like a good time to ask.

His desire to understand, however, doesn't fade after the incident. It only makes his hunger grow.

Instead of bothering Human Alex or Human Raven, Gilith decides to ask Human Bea, who does not sense him before he greets her.

"Hello, Human Bea."

"Yes, hello, Gilith. Is everything okay?"

"I have question."

Bea tilts her head. "Ask away."

"Are you- humans- able to detect someone before you see them?"

Bea's face softens into an aching sort of frown. "Not naturally."

"What do you mean?"

She takes a breath, seemingly preparing herself. "Well, most people are able to live in a relatively safe place. But some people aren't as lucky. Some people have to memorize the falls of others' feet. It's a learned survival tactic."

"I don't understand," Gilith says, his face wrinkling in confusion.

"Some people aren't safe, so for the ones who weren't born with the good luck of a safe home, they have to know who and where someone is. They have to know if they need to hide or prepare themself. They have to know if they're in danger or not."

Gilith feels his whole body go slack as a wave of sadness washes over him at the memory of Human Raven and Human Alex's reaction to his sudden appearance.

"I have loud stompers."

Bea's face scrunches up as though she's trying not to laugh. "You do. You have safe stompers, too."

[poppy-metal]

jordan who’s an upperclassman and sooo intimidating who maybe u have a lil crush on until u meet them at a party and theyre sooo mean 🙁🙁 corners u n teases u n u dont know Howww u ever liked them when they dont even let u cum after shoving their fingers in u 🙁🙁

god, it really does hit different because DUH you'd have a crush on jordan fucking li, and you'd never approach them sober but you're at this party and you feel all buzzed and nice and you never have the opportunity to really talk to jordan, run in different circles, they're in higher level classes than you, ect. but they're here tonight, dressed to the nines and it sends warmth running through your veins, a zip of attraction at the way they smile and laugh at something cate said, glass of champagne tipped back, hair loose and soft tonight.

your approach has no tact, you're going on raw instinct, nerves singing and maybe the first few seconds of standing near them should have been enough to warn you away but it isn't. you're too hopeful. you hover by them and they don't even glance at you, like you're so insignificant you dont even register in their presence. but you still try, shuffling on your feet, fidgeting, you tap their shoulder and murmur their name, a wisp in the air "hey, jordan..."

a million butterflies dance in your belly when they do look at you, dark eyes slightly glassy from the alcohol, maybe from the coke they'd bumped earlier, but they cool as they settle on you, raise a perfectly defined brow, "what was that?" they're grinning a little, and its the mean kind, the mocking kind, the 'why is this freshmen talking to me' kind.

still, you stumble "jordan," you say again, louder. "um, hi."

they stare at you, like they're giving you the time to come up with something more. you cant. you feel the humiliation the alcohol had slowed down, now rising to the surface and you wonder what the hell you were thinking approaching jordan fucking li, in the top fucking 5, like you were a somebody, when in, fact, they didn't even know your name.

"do i know you?" they confirm that small feeling, and you wince, shaking your head, taking a step back. jordan sees this and laughs, exchanges a look with cate and you feel like you're on the end of some joke. stupid. "are you going to actually fucking speak or just stand there gawking all night?"

"sorry-" you're already backing away, turning quickly as your body heats up. maybe you can find a corner to hide in forever and disintegrate into dust. "sorry, nevermind."

you don't notice the way their eyes linger on your retreating back, or the way they smirk as they tip their glass back again, something distinctly predatory in those eyes. dont see them lean in to tell cate they'll catch up with her later as they slide like liquid after you, moving with calm intention. a cat stalking a rabbit.

they corner you as you're trying to open the bathroom door, a ringed hand comes up above your head, pushes the door open the rest of the way, and then there's another hand on the small of your back, guiding you forward, inside, you hear the lock click by the time you're turned around ready to - but then their hands on are your waist, back back backing you up until your hips hit the cool counter of the sink.

they're in their fem form now, but that doesn't make them any less intimidating even as they have to look up at you, you still feel your heart hummingbird fast in your chest.

"wha-"

"was that your lame ass attempt at flirting back there, freshie?" their voice is condescending, you'd feel miles more chastised if their hand wasn't moving down to your thigh, soft skin caressing your bsre flesh, dragging up and under your skirt. "thought you could come up and talk your shit in this tiny fucking skirt and I'd fuck you?"

"I-" your voice is a squeak, a mouse. you feel on fire, your head in a hundred different places, on their face, on their eyes, on the cruel tilt to their mouth, on the way their hand feels stroking even higher up your thigh now, almost to the edge of your panties. just barely there. "i didn't- I just wanted-"

"hm? what did you want. go ahead and tell me."

their thumb traces the band of your underwear, dips just inside. you're embarrassingly wet, and they're embarrassingly close to finding that out.

"i just wanted...you. t-thought you looked p-pretty and - I've always wanted - wanted a chance to get to know you -"

it feels silly and ridiculous to admit to something like a crush when their hand is almost on your cunt, but. what can you do. stop them? hell no.

jordans eyes soften just a little, some of that meanness leaking out of them at such a sweet little confession. stroking their ego is always gonna make them fold, you dont know that yet, but its working a hell of alot more than you think.

"that's really sweet." they tell you, and their hand dips fully into your panties now, warm palm cupping the wet heat between your legs. one finger dances along your lips, just shy of parting them - "how about i let you know what i do to cute little freshman who poke their noses around me, hm?"

their eyes have this glint in them as they watch your mouth part, your eyebrows drawn together as you have your little pussy played with. they wonder if this is the first time a woman has touched you this way, if this is the first time you've been touched here by another person, period. and fuck, it turns them on.

"usually, I make them cry. fucking hate entitled little shits like that - wasting my time, but you - well," its evil how conversational they sound as they sink a finger inside you, pump it gently in and out, "you got a nice pussy." they pull their hand away, but before you can whine at the loss they're lifting you, until your ass is perched on the sink, hands rucking your skirt all the way up up up around your waist, "and I'm hungry -"

they sink to their knees.

[wh0re-in-the0ry]

SOLD TO CHUCKLE SANDWICH??? 😱😱😱

🩸🐑🩸 Please go away Tucker 🩸🐑🩸

Heads up: I tried to write how I used to in middle school. It’s certainly a fic. Cw for cringe an the use of “…” an ungodly amount of times

It’s an early Monday morning, I wake up, toss my silky blonde hair into a messy bun, and change into something for school. It’s my first day as a senior…again. I need to wear something that I can blend into the crowd so nobody notices me but I also don’t want to be too basic…

After digging through my closet for a while settle on something. It’s simple, black shoes, black skinny jeans, my trusty gray beanie, my glasses (of course), and my definitely authentic chuckle sandwich t-shirt:

Honestly I think this is a perfect outfit for what’s hopefully my last first day of school.

I check the clock, 7:18, I should get going if I don’t want miss my bus… I grab my backpack and start to walk out but as I pass by the kitchen, I see something…

My mom was talking to three men, all their backs were facing me so I couldn’t tell who they were but their voices sounded… familiar. One of the men turns around as I try to get a better look at them and my jaw drops as his brownish orbs meet my blue ones.

“T-Ted Nivison? Wha- what are you doing in my apartment??”

Ted smiles, “You must be Y/n, your mother was telling us all about you.” The other two men turn around and they are… SCHLATT AND TUCKER??? I nearly drop my backpack, why was Chuckle Sandwich at MY APARTMENT?!

“That doesn’t answer my question… Why are y-you all here?”

“These guys are buying you,” my mother answers after she takes a long sip of her black coffee.

…

…

…

“WHAT?!”

My face goes pale and my eyes widen. She’s selling me? What? How is that even legal?!

“These guys wanted to buy you,” she’s saying this way too nonchalantly, “and I needed money.”

I sink to the floor. My head is spinning. Is this real? No- it can’t be. I’m going to wake up any second now! This is all a silly dream I can post about on my blog and get 12 notes on. I just need to wake up now… wake up… Wake up… WAKE UP!!

“Uhh…Y/n...?” I open my eyes again and look up at Schlatt who seem slightly uncomfortable, “I know that this is a lot to take in right now… but you need to go grab your stuff so we can go now..”

“G-go where…?”

“The Chuckle House.” Schlatt doesn’t elaborate further.

“The Chuckle what?”

“The Chuckle House, it’s where we’re all going to live :)” Tucker says, “We’ll explain more on the way there”

“Wait I’m leaving right now? What about school??”

“School can wait,” Ted quips in, “but I need to return the u-haul by 2:30 so we should get going..”

I look out through the kitchen window, a moving van was parked outside next to a really nice car I’ve never seen before, the rental’s back was opened, and by the looks of it there was just enough space for a couple bags of my stuff.. today can’t be real… “M-mom… is this real?”

“I’m sorry, Y/n…” She almost looks guilty for once, “but I mean it could be worse, I didn’t have to sell you to your favorite YouTubers. I could’ve sold you to Mr.Beast’s coal mines or Wilbur Soot”

I guess she’s right? But it’s still kinda messed up. Knowing Mom, she’s dead set on this whole thing and I was planning on moving out once I graduated anyways… I might as well try to make the most of this. “Alright…” I sigh, “I’ll go grab my stuff…”

I go back to my room and shut the door… this is actually happening… wow… I don’t know how to feel right now… if only I used code word “CHUCKLE” on betterhelp to get my first online therapy session free back when they were sponsored by them…

I rummaged through my closet and pack all my clothes, well at least all the ones I can fit into my old gym bag… I grab a tote bag and stuff the other essentials: my sketch book, copic markers, toothbrush, charger, and whatever cash I had saved up.

With everything packed, I start to head back out to throw it all in the u-haul. Schlatt and Tucker are gone and I see Ted handing over a check to my mother. He looks over to me, “You all ready, Y/n?” I nod, it feels weird having the Ted Nivison say me name.

I wave bye to my mother and she closes the door as we leave. Ted takes my gym bag and backpack to put in the back of the truck as I sit in the passenger seat with my tote bag. I look back out to my old apartment building… I see my mother through the window, drinking her coffee, going along with her day as if this was normal… Mom…

…

…

“Y/n?”

“Huh?” I snap back into reality and suddenly we were out of the complex and in a McDonald’s drive thru, how did I not notice him driving?

“Do you want anything?”

“Oh uhhh…” I don’t really feel like eating now, “just an orange juice…please.”

“You sure?”

I nod.

“Alright then…” Ted starts asking for his order and I look out of the window again. Questions flood my head. What am I to these people? A servant? Property? Am I going to be allowed to finish school still? Was that the last time I see my mom? Do I even want to see her again…? Do I?

…

“You do that a lot?”

I snap out of it again, we’re already out of the drive thru. The orange juice was now in my hands, how did I not notice him passing it to me? “Huh? Do what?”

“You space out a lot,” Ted points out as he pulls out his McMuffin and hands me the brown paper bag, “There’s another one in there for you in case you get hungry…”

“Oh- uhh thanks…”

“No problem,” he says while taking a bite of the breakfast sandwich with one hand and steering with the other.

…

Uncomfortable silence fills the u-haul. The only noise we have is the sound of Ted’s quiet-ish chewing and my thoughts that I’m sure he could sense. This is unbearable. I need to stop the quiet somehow. “So… you mind if I ask a few questions?”

“Oh- yeah go ahead,” Ted sounds relieved I broke the silence.

“So what am I? Like company property or something?”

He cringes at my words, “I guess technically? I don’t really like the sound of that though… how about we just say you’re a uhh… permanent assistant maybe?”

“Okay then…” I nod, “was any of today legal?”

“Oh definitely not,” he pauses for a moment, “it’d be pretty cool of you to not report us to the police about this…”

“Yeah okay,” I don’t even think the police would believe me if I told them so there really isn’t a point of reporting him.

“Cool thanks…”

“No problem,” I take a sip of the orange juice, it’s lukewarm. “…so what’s the Chuckle House?”

“Oh right- we didn’t really explain it to you properly huh?”

“You really didn’t, no.”

He lets out a small uncomfortable laugh, “Well… Me, Schlatt, and Tucker bought a house in LA and we’re planning on making some irl content in there.”

“Wait- how’d you convince Schlatt to move out here? I thought he hates it out here.”

“He does- but not as much as he says he hates it on the podcast. Besides the potential ad revenue was too good for him to pass on.”

“Fair enough… so I’ll be able to keep going to school and work and stuff, right?”

“Oh? You’re mom didn’t tell us you already had a job.”

“Well I do- I drive those kiddie trains at [insert mall]”

“That sounds… cramped.”

“It is…”

“Well you can keep going to school but we might need you to help us shoot content so the job thing is in the air..”

“Wait you want me to help you guys film?”

“Yeah- that’s kinda why we bought you”

“Wha- but I’ve never held a camera in my life or done anything like that”

There’s a brief pause, “…you haven’t?”

“Nope.”

“Shit…we’ll figure something out…”

That’s all he has to say about this?!

…

Well I guess it is.

The rest of the car ride was quiet, but not as uncomfortable. I plug in my earphones to my phone and listen to my favorite artists, [insert favorite artist] as I watch the cars pass by us. It’s kinda nice…

It’s not long before we start to pull into a neighborhood that’s way nicer than anything I’ve been near. It’s like I’ve been transported straight into one of those home goods magazines. We’re finally here… the house is huge, I feel poor just looking at it… How did these guys afford a house like this in this economy? Schlatt probably paid for most of it.

Maybe I should try to see the positive in all this… Let’s ignore the implications of my my mother and these guys for now and try to enjoy the fact I’ll be living in a nice house with my favorite YouTubers. I mean I do have to unpack all of that stuff soon but for now I should just help Ted out with unloading the u-haul.

—-

An:

Hey thanks for reading this, it was certainly an experience writing it. Let me know if y’all want a part two to this mess it was fun to write. (Just to be very clear, this is not an xreader in the sense of romance but in the sense of y/n interacting with everyone.)

Comments/criticisms are welcomed :)

-S

[under-the-dirt]

Can we get a fic where y/n & ghost , soap & gaz are in the living area drinking & prices plaything/gf storms out his room because "you were inside me & called out y/n name" like imagine the shock on the team's faces and price fumbling to explain himself I feel like this could be a couple parts.. 😭

ok first of all so so so so sorry it took forever to do this!! i’ve been struggling with quite a few things including depression and sexual harassment/assault and it’s been a lot!! a reminder, nobody request non-con!!! please i hate it sm. anyways, i was super excited to write this bc i’m a price gallie part two is right here! :3

pairing: price x gn!reader

tags: mentions of sex, military inaccuracies, price is so sexy, mentions of alcohol, masturbation, soap and reader r friends.. UNDER 13 DNI!!!!! I WILL BLOCK U!

It was a calmer day in the TaskForce, everyone back from their missions and just wanting to relax. What better way to do so than letting your worried drift away in an alcohol-fueled haze?

You sat on the couch in the common room, casually sipping some beer with the others. Gaz was telling some story about him and Soap’s mission. You were giggling and laughing, slight blush on your face as your 3rd bottle began to soak into you, clouding your brain. Price was sat in an armchair, manspreading as always, taking slow sips of his whiskey between drags of his cigar. You always found those habits sexy, albeit unhealthy but the way he blew the smoke towards your face when you giggled or made fun of him was just so hot..

Your fun was interrupted by a squeaky girl running into the room and grabbing Price’s shirt. He huffed and put his cigar and glass down, staring up at the fuming girl with confusion.

“What was that last night?!”She screams, practically an angry squeal, and John just shakes his head. “What do you mean?! Last night!”

“Can you stop yelling? I really can’t deal with it right now,” You say softly, slightly annoyed. This girl was the barracks bunny, everyone knew. She was a little whore, running room to room and projecting pornographic moans across the base. All of you hated her, except for those desperate for a quick fleshlight, no strings attached.

“Oh so this is her?” The woman yells, turning to you and grabbing your shirt, pulling you up and onto the floor. You spill your beer on your shirt and sigh.

“Shit- That was the last good one.”

The woman climbs on top of you and slaps you, and price quickly grabs her and pulls her away. He helps you up and stands in front of you.

“What the hell was tha’?!” He yells, staring down at the woman.

“Last night you said her name, not mine!” She yells squeakily, glaring at him.

“So? You’re jus’ a lil’ whore, no strings attached, thas’ right?”

“B-but- You went to me so often!!”

“No strings attached,” He growls, pointing to door for her to leave. She huffs and pouts, running off with her tail between her legs. “I’m sorry, love,” John coos, walking off and grabbing a towel to clean your shirt. He sighs, walking back to you and handing you the towel.

“No use, that bottle was practically full,” You say, taking off your shirt and cleaning the beer off your wet chest. Price gapes for a moment before returning to his seat and taking a long drag of his cigar. After cleaning yourself up, you plop back down onto a clean part of the couch.

“So.. Cap’n, you wanna explain t’ us wha’ your pre’y plaything was talkin’ about?” Soap asks, a confident smirk on his face. Price blushes and clears his throat, feeling like a little schoolgirl.

“She’s just talkin’ crazy,” He chuckles. “Welp, I’m gonna hit the hay..” He pats his knees as he hops up and walks out, and Soap stares at you.

“Suspicious?” You ask, meeting his gaze.

“Suspicious,” He confirms, and you laugh, hopping up to go to bed as well. You grab your wet shirt and head off to your room.

In your bed, all you could think about was what she said.. Does Price think about you? Does he finish to the thought of you? The thought invoked a familiar warmth between your legs, which you had no choice but to indulge, moaning Price’s name softly…

okay ermmmmmmmm i might turn this into a little series 🤑 ty ty ty anon and tysm for your patience!! it took a while to convince myself to write this <33 also super sorryz that this one’s extra short i have no motivation to write longer but i’ll work on it <3

[actualbird]

who in the nxx yells “THERE’S A BUG” and who removes the bug, and how?

HELP HAHAHAKHVFAHSF THIS IS A LOVELY PROMPT, THANK U FOR THIS!!!

those who yell "THERES A BUG": marius and mc

now im not saying both of them are particularly squeamish, no no, they can definitely keep it cool when the situation Calls For It. that being said, seeing a bug in the nxx meeting room on a slow day isnt exactly the most high stakes of situations, so the most High Stakes Element remains to be whatever bug they see

mc just doesnt like bugs, theyre creepy theyre crawly and she doesnt trust anything that can dart out of her line of vision in the blink of an eye

marius also doesnt like bugs and because of his upbringing, he did not get to see very many of them growing up. which means every time he Did see a Bug Intruder, it's like a Category 5 Drama Moment

the moment they see the bug, theyre announcing it LOUDLY to everybody else in the room while also getting up to stand on some chairs

those who dont yell "THERES A BUG" but does look at the bug and track its every movement while sitting still like a statue hoping the bug doesnt notice him, as if bugs operate on some kind of t-rex knowledge: artem

let's rewind a bit. before marius and mc saw the bug, artem saw it first. and he just

didnt say anything about it

artem.....Also Does Not Like Bugs. but he also also doesnt like being loud about things he doesnt like so he just Sits There, so still you'd think he fucking died, and he hopes the bug mistakes him for some kind of inanimate man-shaped furniture and avoids him due to sheer disinterest

it doesnt avoid him.

it probably crawls or flies very close to him a few times the only thing that stops him from screaming "THERES A BUG" is his self-control thats as hard as cast-iron skillet

it's fine though because marius and mc spot it and sound the alarm

(thank god)

those who remove the bug: luke and vyn

luke and vyn are the ones who will both 1) be completely unbothered by the bug and 2) have to bring it out

the reason for luke is obvious, he's had wilderness survival training and probably had to eat bugs like in an episode of Man VS Wild to survive on an uninhabited island, so hes REALLY past any squeamishness with bugs. in fact, if mc said the word, luke would grab the bug and crush it with his bare hands

and vyn is a gardener!!! bugs are APLENTY in the garden, so he sees them not as malevolent but as important creatures in a healthy ecosystem. the bug probably got in from vyn's garden, actually, since nxx hq is on his property

and thus

The Timeline Of Events When a Bug Appears In The NXX HQ Meeting Room

bug: //crawls in

artem: //sees it, soul leaves his body for a bit and he petrifies himself as a defense mechanism

mc: why did artem go so still

marius: i dont know, maybe hes rebooting?

mc: dont be mean!

marius: im not being mea---FUCK

mc: what?

marius: THERES A BUG

mc: theres a wha---THERES A BUG

marius and mc: //immediately moving to stand on the couch

artem: //still Not Moving, hoping that mc and marius' sudden movements attract it

bug: //flexes wings open and closed

mc: NNNNO NO NO NO

marius: STOP DOING THAT MOTHERFUCKER

mc: NONONNONONONNNONONNOONONOONOO

marius: AAAAAAAAAA

vyn and luke, coming back in from where they were in the file room: ???

mc: THERES A BUG THERES A BUG

luke: oh. do you want me to kill it?

mc: NO!!

marius: YES!!!!!!

artem: i havent moved in 20 minutes

mc: JUST BRING IT OUT

luke: dead or alive?

mc: ALIVE

marius: DEAD

vyn, while they were all conversing: //gently coaxes the bug onto his palm and lets it out through the window

vyn's rationale here was that luke was doing a great job at handling (i.e. distracting) the People, so he went ahead and took care of the Bug. the bug will not be returning to the nxx meeting room because it was quite cold with no soil and also VERY loud

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive language, might be offensive idk (lmk if it is so i should take it down if necessary) , mentions of birth, mentions of alcohol and weed, gayness

Desc: it's Mitsuya's day of birth

Chifuyu: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITSUYA-KUN ⚠️❗💜😋😁

Baji: what's up with the emoji's

Mitsuya: thanks Chifuyu

Baji: happy getting out of the pussy day

Mitsuya: 😐

Kazutora: didn't he get circumcised?

Mitsuya: man what

Baji: ...

Baji: fuck that gotta do with what i just said

Baji: you just say shit

Kazutora: i'm talking about his birth method

Kazutora: keep up, Keisuke 😐

Chifuyu: you're so fucking stupid

Kazutora: HOW AM I STUPID

Kazutora: Mitsuya's mom was circumcised

Kazutora: it wasn't a vaginal birth

Kazutora: he was essentially removed, rather than birthed

Baji: "he was essentially removed, rather than birthed🤓👆"

Mikey: bro how do you even know that?

Chifuyu: R U TALKING ABOUT A C-SECTION????

Kazutora: IS THAT WHAT I FUCKING SAID?? NO

Kazutora: i hate talking to stupid mf's 🙄

Baji: i don't understand why people say i'm the stupidest

Draken: *most stupid

Draken: you honestly proved everyone's point

Baji: fuck off

Mitsuya: ok you guys can shut up now

Draken: happy birthday Takashi

Draken: my sworn brother

Draken: my other half

Draken: my twin dragon

Draken: love ya man

Mitsuya: thank you Draken🙂

Baji: did u have socks on

Draken: ...?

Baji: you can't say "i love ya" and "my other half" without any socks on

Baji: it implies a sense homosexuality

Baji: but if you have socks on then it's fine

Draken: i'm sick of you

Baji: bro doesn't have any socks on 💀

Mitsuya: you guys can shut up now x2

Mitsuya: also

Mitsuya: you don't all have to say happy birthday just say it when we meet up cause i feel awkward saying thank you to every single one of you

Mikey: hope you enjoyed my birthday present 💪😎

Mitsuya: yeah...

Mitsuya: the half eaten taiyaki

Mitsuya: appreciate it

Mikey: anything for the homies ❤

Mitsuya: 😒

Draken: where's Hakkai

Draken: surprised he hasn't said anything about your birthday

Mitsuya: he's planning a surprise birthday party

Baji: surprise🤨?

Mitsuya: he told me not to not text him cause he's busy with my surprise birthday party

Mitsuya: i don't think he realized that he told me

Mitsuya: i don't wanna bum him out so i'll still act surprised

Mitsuya: i appreciate it either way

Chifuyu: Takemitchy, Angry and I have been helping him plan this for weeks, and he just fucking told you😐

Mitsuya: i guess lol

Mitsuya: also said he has a surprise for me

Baji: he's gonna tongue you down, i just know it

Mitsuya: stfu

Mikey: are y'all together or not

Mitsuya: don't know what you're taking about

Draken: bro's taking his time

Mikey: Mitsuya you're 21 now

Mikey: it's been 8 years???😭

Smiley: i may not have a birthday present but i'll bring queer and weed

Smiley: since y'all follow the law or whatnot and you're legal now

Smiley: hypocrites

Draken: what's wrong with following the law?

Smiley: you think beating people half to death was fucking legal, Draken?

Draken: well... no

Draken: doesn't mean we should abuse substances, underage

Smiley: ❤H Y P O C R I T E❤

Smiley: and a lot of the people we know smoke so idk why you're all the way in my ass rn

Draken: yeah but cigarettes aren't drugs

Smiley: weed >>>>> cigarettes

Draken: the ability to breath when i'm in my thirties >>>>

Smiley: fair

Baji: wdym you'll bring a queer and weed🤨

Smiley: why would i bring a queer when Mitsuya is literally right there

Smiley: i meant beer

Smiley: pride month changing my damn autocorrect😒

Kazutora: stop saying slurs

Smiley: bro the gays reclaimed that shit

Smiley: it's a blanket term for the ABCDEFG community or whatever the fuck

Draken: i feel like you're being homophobic

Smiley: nuh uh

Smiley: dude look

Smiley: 👬 👭

Smiley: see?😁

Smiley: am i still homophobic?

Baji: he got us there

Draken: wha-

Draken: what the fuck is that supposed to prove?

*Hakkai has gone online*

Hakkai: HI TAKA-CHAN

Hakkai: could you please come over to my place for no particular reason?🤔

Hakkai: hmmmm, it kinda feels like i'm forgetting something

Hakkai: maybe like, a public holiday?

Hakkai: who knows?🤷‍♂️

Hakkai: anyway

Hakkai: let's hang out like the regular days in which we are normal 🤗

Hakkai: see you soon 😁

Mitsuya: ...

Mitsuya: yeah sure Hakkai

Mitsuya: be right over

Hakkai: ❤

*Hakkai has gone offline*

Mikey: 💀

Chifuyu: i hate him

Baji: did he even fucking try

[bigintorobotsrightnow]

I fw ur HAL 9000 design heavy ; do u purposefully make ur robots twinks or wha t

Yes, I don't mean to alarm anyone when I say this but I am in fact, into robots.

[rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos]

CARMEN SANDIEGO INCORRECT QUOTES

Shadowsan: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Carmen's birthday invitations. Ivy: Well, what are they supposed to say? Shadowsan: "Carmen's birthday". Ivy: So, what do they say instead? Shadowsan: "Carmen’s bi". Ivy: Ivy: Works out either way.

-----

Player: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it? Ivy: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?” Carmen, scoffing: Oh, please. Ivy, to Carmen: Hey, how you doin’? Carmen: Carmen: giggles and blushes

-----

Zack: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen. Player: That’s a snake.

-----

Ivy: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people? Shadowsan: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause. Ivy: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though? Shadowsan: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

-----

Vlad: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

-----

{I really need someone to clarify whether they're brothers or two deadpan Russians that Just Look Like That. Because they give such Gay Stone-Faced Lovers but idk. hm. [Looks at the To Steal Or Not To Steal Dip™️*] oh okay}

Boris: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Vlad: It was autocorrect. Boris: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Vlad: Yes.

-----

Boris: I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Vlad: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal. Boris, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

-----

Boris: We should be partners. Vlad: You mean like, partners in crime? Boris: Yeah… that’s precisely what I meant.

------

Dr. Bellum: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right? Cleo: Nope, there's 26. Dr. Bellum: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T. Cleo: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one. Dr. Bellum: You'll get the D later ;).

------

Cleo: The stars are so beautiful… Dr. Bellum: They're just giant balls of gas. Cleo: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- Dr. Bellum: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. Cleo: Oh…

-------

Chase: I just wanted to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as… people I met.

---------

Chase: What’s up? I’m back. Zack: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead Chase: Death is a social construct.

---------

The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one Chase: I will not let you down. Ivy: Sounds fun. Zack: K. Julia: No, I'm fucking not. Carmen: Do I have to be? Shadowsan: Please god, I am so tired.

----------

Shadowsan: Wanna hear some dark humor. Ivy: Yeah, I love dark humor. Shadowsan: Alright. Shadowsan: Turns off the lights Shadowsan: Knock knock. Ivy: Turn the damn lights back on.

------------

Zack, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Zack: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Ivy: It was you the fuck. Zack: It was I the fuck… Shadowsan: Who cooks rice in a pan? Ivy: They the fuck.

-------------

Carmen: trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark Carmen: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?" Associate: Well, I- Carmen: How about "You witnessed the murder of my actual dad?" Associate: No…Wait, wha- Carmen: You know what, I'll just get a blank one. Carmen: writes You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.

-------------

Shadowsan: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed. Chase: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Shadowsan!

-------------

Ivy: Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you had us tied here for- what? Hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are! Chase: What are you then? Ivy: I'm a Virgo!

--------------

Zack: I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer house in Lisbon.

--------------

*The Dip from To Steal or Not to Steal {no seriously they slayed. Those little gay boys served every bit of cunt within the timespan of three and a half seconds}

ALSO, The Entire Video, which is fucking amazing. Masterpiece.

[c-m-stuff]

Babysitting

-Description: You and Spencer are together. If you guys are babysitting on Henry, you reveal some excited news.

-Warnings: Fluffiness, pregnant

-Word count: 1482

-Note: Hope u enjoy!

Request guidelines

Masterlist

__________________________

Y/N POV:

'Thank you so much for babysitting on him.' JJ told us, as we both arrived at her house.

It's not the first time, we're babysitting on Henry. This evening, JJ and Will, are going to the theater. They have these tickets for months now, and are really looking forward to it.

'No problem, JJ. We and Henry are going to have tons of fun.' I assured her, seeing Henry giggling, while Spencer is holding him.

'Are you ready, cher?' Will came towards us, while JJ nodded.

'Be good for auntie (Y/N), and uncle Spence.' she went through his blonde locks, and kissed him on the forehead. Will did the same, as we said our last goodbyes, before they left the house.

The sweet part was, that I'm not actually Henry's aunt. That's Penelope. They knew each other longer than me, since I joined the BAU later. I'm totally okey with it, but my heart always melt as Henry calls me also "auntie (Y/N)".

'So, what do you want to do?' Spencer asked the little boy, while he placed him back on the floor. JJ already bathed him, and changed him into pajamas.

'Drawing?'

'Drawing it is.'

We took a place to the kitchen table, while Henry took his drawing stuff. He placed all the pencils, markers, and paper on the table. We began to draw.

After a little while, Henry gave a look at our drawings.

'Is that a bird, auntie (Y/N)?'

'I'm glad you can recognize it.' I smiled, as I took also a look at his drawing.

'Woah, that is a beautiful car.' I complimented him, looking at the red race car, he drew. He thanked me, before turning to the quiet genius.

'What are you drawing, uncle Spence?'

'The USS Enterprise.' I giggled at his response. Of course he was drawing that.

A few minutes passed, as we all finished.

'Can we play with the lego?' he asked us, as I glanced at the time.

'I'm sorry, Henry, but it's your bedtime. Let's go to bed, so uncle Spence, can read you a bedtime story.' the 5 year old, pounted, sadly, before heading upstairs.

'Which book do you want me to read?' my boyfriend asked the blonde, as he was deep in thoughts.

'This one.' he made his final decision, handing the book to Spencer, as he climbed into bed.

I tucked him in, and Spencer began to read. I gave a loving look at the two boys, as eventually the story came to an end.

'Sleep tight, Henry.' I said, and gave him a kiss on the head.

'Sweet dreams.' Spencer spoke, as he also gave his godson a kiss on the head.

We turned the big light off, so only his little lamp was shining. We pulled the door, not quite closing it, as we made our way downstairs. We both brought some paperwork with us, because it was too early for us to sleep.

About 40 minutes later, we finished, considering we already made a part at work. We decided to cuddle up in the couch, as I rested my head on his lap. I lifted my shirt a little higher, as Spencer began to draw random shapes on my belly. He probably thought, that I was in pain, but not this time.

'You were great with Henry.' I broke the comfortable silence, as a smile formed on his lips.

'I can say the same about you, love.' this time, it was my turn to smile.

'You are going to be a wonderful dad.' as soon as the words left my lips, he stopped drawing random shapes, and froze.

'Wha-what do you mean, (Y/N)?' he asked, still a little in shock.

'I'm pregnant, love.' I finally spoke out the words, waiting nervously for his reaction.

'We're going to be parents?'

'We are going to have a baby, Spence.'

Then, the biggest smile was on his face, as he stood up, and lifted me off the ground. He placed me gently back on the floor, as he wrapped me into a tight hug.

'I guess, that this means that you are happy.' I asked, pulling a little further, to see his face.

'Happy? I am more than happy, I am the luckiest man in the world! I can't believe, we're going to have a baby. I love you, (Y/N).' he spoke, while a tear escaped his eye.

'I love you, forever.' he gave me a loving kiss, as suddenly, we heard little footsteps walking off the stairs.

We ended the kiss, as we turned around, to see Henry coming towards us.

'Why are you crying, uncle Spence?' the 5 year old asked, as I also whipped a tear away.

'Because, I've heard some really excited news. This are tears from happiness.' Spencer answered, as we both squatted down to his eye level.

Spencer gave a look at me, gesturing to continue the story.

'Inside my belly, is growing a baby. Uncle Spence and I, are going to be parents soon.' I told the little boy, as his eyes went wide.

'That's great!' Henry exclaimed, as he gave me one of his sweet hugs.

I hugged him back, ad he went to Spencer, and did the same thing. After ending the hugs, I needed to ask him a favor.

'Henry, you're the first person to know, your mom doesn't know from anything. We would like to keep this a secret just a little longer. Do you think you can do that?' I asked him, as he nodded his head.

'Great, now why are you not sleeping?'

'I can't sleep.'

'What about, we read you another bedtime story?' the blonde his eyes light up, as he already ran upstairs.

We followed after him, and soon enough he was laying under the covers, while Spencer was reading. Not much later, he fell asleep. Quietly, we left the room, to go back downstairs, towards the couch.

We lie close to each other, as we drifted off to sleep by ourselves.

__________________________

The next day:

Yesterday, after JJ and Will, came back home, we woke up, and went to our shared apartment.

The elevator doors opened, as we made our way into the BAU. As soon as JJ saw us, she immediately walked towards us, and pressed me into a hug. Then, she pressed Spencer in one.

'Congratulations guys! I'm so happy for you.'

'Henry, told you, didn't he?' the genius asked, as JJ nodded her head.

'Not quite with words, but I needed to give this drawing to his uncle Spence and auntie (Y/N).' she handed us the drawing.

There were 4 people on it. A woman, a man, a kid and a baby. Most likely, it were me, Spencer, Henry himself, and our unborn baby. The drawing says it all.

'That is the sweetest.' I answered, before placing it in my purse, not wanting to lose it.

'We want to tell the team, can you help gathering them in the conference room?' I asked, as she nodded her head.

Spencer went to Aaron his office, while I went to Penelope's. JJ gathering the rest. I opened the door from her office, as she was sipping her coffee.

'Hey cupcake, how are you doing?'

'Hey Penny, great actually, do you want to come to the conference room?' I asked her, as she stood up.

'Of course, do we have a case?' she asked, while we were walking out of her office.

'Nope, we just want to tell you something.'

'What is it? Please, (Y/N), you need to tell me!'

'You'll see.' I said, with a smirk, as we reached the conference room.

Aaron and Spencer, also just arrived, as everyone took a seat. Spencer and I, went to stand for the empty screen, as they all gave us confused, but curious looks.

'We made you guys come here, because we have something to tell you.' he began, while I continued.

'Since you guys love to bet, you can all guess if it's going to be a boy or a girl.'

'I'm pregnant.' I added, as they all looked surprised, but also really happy.

'OMG! OMG! OMG!' Penelope exclaimed, while she came to us for a hug.

'Congratulations!'

'You're going to be awesome parents!'

'I'm so happy for the both of you!'

Everyone came, to congratulate and hug us. They were all smiling, and genuine happy for us. This child is going to be so loved. And, probably also getting spoiled. Oh well, what's stopping them?

[clemblog]

Caine’s Lesson - Part 4

•

“Alright Lou, we need to try and find our way out of here. T-This place is gonna collapse eventually-“ Hummed Pomni, wringing her hands together as she tried to figure out what to do.

“Yeah… Where do we go then?” Asked Lou, softly.

“I… I don’t know- Just where ever the road takes us I suppose- Just- Somewhere safe.”

“Definitely somewhere safe- Let’s just figure out a way out of here first-“

“R-Right, right-“

“Do you think you could do that uh falling thing again? You know, how you fell through the ceiling to get to me?”

“U-Uhm… I could try? What about you?”

“Could you pull me with you?”

“I-I could try-“

“That’s all I want you to do, Poms.”

Pomni took a deep breath, staring up at the floor boards where she’d clipped in. She could figure this out. For Lou’s sake. For her new friend.

•

Jax hated to admit it, but things had kinda gone down hill since Pomni had been sent off by Caine.

Ragatha wouldn’t shut up.

Zooble and Gangle had gotten very buddy buddy-

And Kinger was well- Kinger.

“I don’t want to hear your rescue plan, Dollface, you’ve already told me it-“

“But Jax, if you just-“

“Lalalalala-“

“Jax!”

“I don’t know what’s worse, this or listening to Zooble try to get into Gangle’s ribbon-“

“Jax! The digital circus is open to everyone-“

“I know, I know! You don’t have to tell me so-“

“Yeah! So, you can’t just say that about Gangle and Zooble, just because they like each other-“

“Woah, woah, Raggedy Ann, are you implying you think I’m homophobic- I am hurt that you think so low of me~”

“…That wasn’t you being a [——]?”

“No, that was me being an AroAce [——-] and comparing your insane rambles to Ganoobles slowly growing romance arc-“

“…Jax-“

“Anywho, your plan sucks [—-]”

“JAX!”

•

“Caineeeeee?”

“…Yes Bubble?”

“When are you going back to the circus? Aren’t they gonna need a new adventure soon?”

“…The circus can find its own adventures for the moment.”

“Wha- Why? You’re the ring master! They can’t function without you-“

“Pomni’s doing just fine.”

“…Yeah- But that doesn’t mean-“

“So, they don’t need me. Especially when all I do is upset them.”

“You don’t mean to upset them-! You’re a learning AI- You’re just learning-“

“Yet I still upset them.”

“Just tell them-“

“It’s not an excuse Bubble-“

“So apologise then-“

“No.”

“Why not-!?”

“…Because I don’t want too.”

“…Caine?”

“If I apologise, that means I’m wrong. And I can’t be wrong. I’m the all powerful Caine. Ringmaster. God. All knowing AI. So. I won’t. They’ll come grovelling for my return eventually. Even Pomni. I will be the only AI that matters to them all. And I will regain my purpose.”

“…Right..”

Bubble had been friends with Caine for as long as she could remember. But she didn’t feel safe with him right now. The exile of Pomni had lost her, her best friend. So, the next time Caine spaced out, thinking of only he knew what. Bubble slipped away, disappearing to Pomni’s room and curling up on the end of her bed.

Pomni wasn’t here but she could dream she was.

Caine wasn’t acting normal but she could dream he was.

Something was wrong but she could dream that everything was okay.

•

Pomni had seen the insides of items and assets she’d never wanted to see before. But at least now she and Lou were out of the basement. Now it was just time to get out of the kingdoms ruins.

Hopefully without losing Lou to the Fudge Monster…

She was drawn from her thoughts at the feeling of Lou’s trembling hand in her own. She had to be brave. She had to protect her.

Lou was stood mere meters away from the creature that had ruined her kingdom and eaten her citizens. If Pomni was in her position, she’d be frozen in place.

So, she had to be brave. Even if it was hard.

Her name was Poms, and she would be the Saviour of this world.

…For Gummigoo.

“Alright, Lou. F-First, we’re gonna duck over to that building.” Spoke Pomni, softly, looking up to Lou.

“O-Okay Poms.” Nodded Lou, staying close to her side.

The pair were able to successfully get to the next crumbled building. Only a few more to go. It was hard at times. Listening to the booming voice of the fudge monster as the pair did their best to stay quiet and steady their breath.

“Come on Lou. We’re almost their-“

“I don’t know if I can do this Poms-“

“You can!”

“I- don’t know-“

“Please? Come on… You and I both know that so many of your citizens would want to be in your place right now-“

“…”

“Instead their sat in the belly of a beast. Don’t give up… Please? For them?”

“…Alright. Let’s go.”

Pomni ran as fast as she could, eyes set on the gates. …They weren’t really gates anymore- The rubble under her feet quickly turned into the soft supple sweet sand of the world.

Lou was smiling.

She felt safe.

Pomni had helped her.

Pomni had made her feel safe.

And nothing had gone wrong!

“PRINCESS! THERE YOU ARE!”

[——].

Part 5

[arminsumi]

Hello Jay! I love your work~. Specially if it’s about Armin! He deserves more love 🥹

If it’s not much to ask, could you do headcanons or whatever you want about either Eren and/or Mikasa being a wingman for Armin?🤣 I was quite inspired by your take on him having a crush on MC and everyone supporting him. And I just thought Eren would be bold enough to casually ask MC what do they think/like about Armin, something like:

Eren: “What’cha doin’ MC?” MC: “Oh! I’m trying to decide what to give Armin on his birthday, perhaps a new sweater or a travel bag? 🤔 Eren then pulls a random T-shirt “what about this?😒” knowing damn well his bestie wouldn’t like it, just to see if MC pays attention to Armin and cares about him 👀👀👀. MC: “Hmm, but Armin doesn’t like short sleeved anything… which is a shame because he has really nice arms” 🫣🫣🫣. Eren : 👀👀👀. ………………………………………….. Eren: “MC thinks your arms are sexy as f*ck.”Mikasa: “And that you look hot in blue and tan colors”. Eren: “so stop with this insecurity sh*t.”😒. Armin: “Guys?! Wha- how?! …. S-so, do you think I h-have a ch-chance?🥺🤯😳🫣

GIGGLING AND BLUSHING AND KICKING MY FEET I LOVE THIS!

Ty for your req and kind words! Though, I'm so sorry it took a while :(

My Boy

Drabble / A. Arlert

Wherein Eren and Mika help out Armin, who is madly crushing on you and needs to know what you think of him.

Cws; fluff, pre-est relationships (friends)

Notes; gn!reader, modern au

At the mall

"What about this one?" Eren asked, pulling out a grey tank top from the clothing rack.

"Eren!" You scolded, "You're his best friend, you should know that Armin hates grey! And he despises tank tops, well... he despises anything that shows his arms..." You sighed, "Which is a pity, he has such toned arms."

"Oh?" Eren hummed, his face giving no hint to his inner smirk.

He pulled out his phone while you continued searching the clothes racks.

Eren : armin y/n said u have toned arms

Armin : haha no she didn't

Armin : ...

Armin : WAIT SHE REALLY SAID THAT?

While Armin had a a joyful meltdown over this in his bedroom, you showed Eren the outfit that you assembled.

"He looks incredible in shirts... and this blue is just like the blue of his favorite cardigan, don't you think!" You beamed excitedly.

Although Eren hates the word 'cute', at the time it was the only word he could ascribe to your affections for his best friend. Sometimes he's wanted to tell you how much he appreciates how happy you make Armin, but he's not one to be sentimental.

At your apartment

"I got him this, and this..." You beamed, showing off the outfit that you had bought for Armin.

"Oh, but does he like those colors?" Mika tested.

"Of course! He loves blue!" You shook your head, and then looked happily at the sweater.

"He's gonna look so good in this..." You swooned, "I'm a real sucker for the shirt-under-sweater look... it's so hot, I mean, especially on him. Don't you think it's a good look?"

"Eh, it's alright." Mika shrugged.

At the cafe

Eren and Mika met up at the cafe, the one that was above the bookstore that Armin worked at.

"There's no way Y/n said that I'm hot! You definitely misheard that..." Armin blushed, cupping a coffee cup with both hands.

He stared into the inky liquid.

"No, that's what they said almost verbatim." Mika reassured.

Eren chimed in, "And they like your arms, and said they were toned." he said, wiggling his one brow. It was a goofy looking thing for such a deadpan face to do.

"No way..." Armin smiled to himself. He got a little lost in happy thoughts, so just sat quietly staring into his coffee.

"So, okay, be honest, you two. Do you think I have a chance with Y/n?" He asked unsurely, "I don't want to mess up our friendship..."

"Yeah, obviously." Eren rolled his eyes annoyedly. They'd already gone over this so many times before, but Armin never really believed it until they put forth evidence like now.

"I've never seen someone be so attentive to likes and dislikes... Y/n likes you, Armin, don't doubt it any more, okay?" Mika said.

"Besides, if anything is awkward when you tell her how you feel, you can come right to us. We'll always be here." Eren added.

Armin's spirits rose to the sky, and he let out a cute groan.

"I love you guys. Thank you." He said.

At the birthday party

"Armin!" You said his name with dramatic emphasis, and he paid attention to you.

"Yes?" He asked with bright eyes.

"Listen, I know you hate birthday presents... but!" You raised a finger, "I have gotten you, arguably, the best presents... and you better like them... or else!"

He smiled dorkily, and rubbed the back of his neck as if he had no idea about this, "I don't actually mind gifts... if they're from you..." He mumbled.

You didn't quite catch that, unfortunately, because of the boom of music. You just shoved the present into his arms excitedly.

Armin blinked down at his gift; it was wrapped so nicely that he didn't even want to open it.

After the party

Armin had changed into the outfit you gifted him, and said a thousand thank yous.

When the time came to give goodbye hugs after the party, Armin leaned down and pecked your cheek instead of just giving you a hug.

"Thank you again..." He said, a bit shyly. He looked down at his shoes.

"Anything for my boy... you look good." You winked, feeling your cheeks warm up.

"... 'your boy'?" He tilted his head like a puppy. Though he tried battle his smirk down, he just couldn't.

"Sorry... I just like calling you my boy..." You looked down.

"I don't mind at all." He assured you, "I wanna be your boy."

You drew your gaze up to him. When your eyes met, you burst out into giggles. The shyest, the stupidest giggles.

"What are you two giggling about?" Eren asked, smirking while slinging two arms around you and Armin.

"Nothing..." Armin grinned, "Nothing."

P.s.When I read 'wingman' my brain immediately thought you meant like... Top Gun, so I fell off my bed squealing about Armin being Maverick.