#welp maybe some mutations but that's all

[alternativeminiatures]

Via @Mick19988

[idyat]

Apologies for the large spaces, I was too lazy to remove them

Fanatics x reader

Down In The Dark Caves

Summary: When you got lost in the Nexus City sewers, you weren't expecting to find a bunch of new little friends.

WARNINGS: Madness: Project Nexus spoilers

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What a mess...what a mess you've gotten in...But honestly these sewers are built like an Ikea, can anyone really blame you for getting lost? Well, at least you have a gun and knife, so you'll be able to somewhat defend yourself if a mutated rat or whatever tries to jump you all of a sudden.

Searching for a semblance of what could be a path out, you analyse the area around you. You're in some sort of underground complex. It stinks. It's dark. Chunks of rock are often falling from higher up, and yet some people still find the courage...creativity...insanity? To live in this place. Well, according to what you've heard and to the corpses you've found on your way to search for an exit.

You expected more noises from this place to be honest. But right now it was just...quiet. The only sounds that could be heard were your own footsteps, it's almost creepy. At least you could be sharp on any incoming threat easily.

Yep...anything that would try to attack you...

...would get...

...

"...Weelcomee...intrude-"

BANG!

"EEK!"

You had quickly turned around and whipped out your gun at the strange duck mask wearing individual.

BANG BANG!

"H-HEY! CEASE THAT!"

BANG BANG BANG!

"I TOLD YOU TO-"

clic clic

You look down at your gun. No more ammo.

You looked up to the fanatic and had a quick staring context for a few seconds before you started to pull out your knife.

"Ah! Wait, wait! Stop! Have patience, I mean no harm!"

You stopped moving, still with your knife in hand and a fighting stance, glaring at the guy you just tried to kill and tilting your head quizzically at their claim.

"I-Indeed! Observe, I transport absolutely zero weapons on me!"

They open their arms wide to show you that they, in fact, have no weapons on them, which makes you losen up just a slight bit.

"...Besides, if I had wanted to attack you, wouldn't I have done it WITHOUT making my presence known...?"

...

"Alright, I give."

You put the knife back in your pocket, to which the stranger immediately sighs in relief and leans against a nearby wall to recover their breath and calm their heartbeat.

You're still extremely wary though, this random ass duck mask wearing guy just snuck up on you for a reason you haven't identified yet, and you know these kinds of people are just like everything in Nevada: violent dangerous assholes.

It takes a few moments of you staring at the masked fellow, analyzing their every movement and hovering your hand over your knife before you finally speak again.

"...Why did you "make your presence known" anyway?"

They silently turn their head towards you. It's hard to tell what their face is doing because of that mask. Hey, at least you've got the body language. And they still seem just as on edge as you. Maybe a little bit more, considering they almost just died.

"...So?"

"Um...."

You tilt your head to the side and raise a brow. Which is probably putting even more pressure on the strange stranger.

"I... uh..."

"Did you not have a reason?"

"Sure! You can tell yourself that!"

...Kind of a suspicious way to approve your theory...

"Okay."

Eh, you're not really in the mood to asks questions so you'll just roll with it.

You still keep an eye on the other as you look around, taking a few steps to check for any paths or perhaps a map.

...A map. Seriously? You're going to ask for a map in this place?

...

You slightly turn your head back to the masked fellow still taking deep breaths. They're probably one of the inhabitants of the cave.

You...would you? Would you dare? After trying to kill them?

"...Hey."

They raises their mask up frop the ground to you, tilting it.

Welp, you're a terrible person for this.

"Uh...sorry for the question...right after...tryingtokillyou but, do you by any chance know where the exit of this place is?"

You don't know what you were expecting, but it definimtely wasn't for the stranger to stare at you for a few seconds before completely changing their demeanor, going from limp and out of breath to very energetic and excentric in the matter of a second.

"You ask for an exit to our sanctuary? An escape??"

"Uh...yeah?" You take a step back at their suddenly booming voice and movements.

"Why, you humorous individual! I know no exit, for I NEED no exit!"

"...Excuse me what?"

They turn their back to you and raise their hands in the air.

"Few of us have retained the pathway back to the outdside world, for we have opened our eyes to the reality of this universe! Our happiness is here! The only ones who have kept it in mind are our highest prophets and our all buoyant lea-"

They suddenly stop, frozen in their precious position. Before they slouch down sadly, both their hands and their head now facing the ground.

"Uh...Are you okay?" Both your voice and your movements are slow as you reach a hand to their slumping back, not actually intending on touching it.

"Oh...our leader...our poor, poor leader..."

You are kinda shocked by how sad their voice sounds all of a sudden. Seems like they really cared about whoever their leader was.

"What...did something...happen to them?"

"Indeed..." They brought their hand up to their mask in a useless tear wiping motion. "He was crushed...murdered so suddenly by a higher mass we could never have possibly seen..."

"Was he crushed by the rocks?"

"No!" They turned and agrily pointed their finger at you. "He knew this entire sanctuary like the back of his buoyant mind! He would not have fallen to such an ordinary hazard!"

"Oh shit. Uh, sorry."

They cross their arms and face their body away from you, seemingly still annoyed, before their body language loosens up a bit and their tone goes back to melancholy, silence setting.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So...I guess I'll just...seek myself out then...is that okay with you...?"

They turn their head to look at you.

"..."

"I'll...take that as a yes."

You slowly start to back away, before turning around and leaving this section of the cave, not minding the creepy stare. You just want to get out of here.

As you walk through the base, it's quiet. Too quiet. You start to hear a sounds behind you. You twist around, knife at the ready, but every time you think you're about to get attacked again you see nothing. Either you're going insane or something' following you.

...It's getting closer. You can tell.

...

...Fuck it.

"Hey! Whoever's here, show yourself!"

You whip around, yelling into the darkness.

"What the fuck do you want?! I'm just trying to get out of here!"

You haven't hear anything after you started speaking up.

"Do you want food or something?! Here! Take it!"

You impulsively throw the cereal bar you've been saving for yourself in case of strandings like this. You have to admit, it probably wasn't a good idea to throw away your only source of food, but your mind was too busy worrying about whatever cave stalker you had on your ass right now.

But as you glared at the tunnel before you, you start to see a figure step out of the shadows. You instinctively place your hand on your knife, ready to fight back in case it tries to attack you first, until you see a familiar mask reach down to the cereal bar.

"You!" You point at the fanatic, who jumps at your sudden shout.

"Eep!"

"Why are you following me?!" You take a step towards them, and they take a step back.

"Uh- I- Emh-"

They wave their hands in front of them as a sign of peace (one of them is holding the cereal bar) as you continue getting closer.

"This is the second time I've seen you sneak up on me!" Your voice and movements are a little more relaxed now since you've seen by now that they probably won't hurt you. In fact, they look quite scared.

"I apologize I apologize! I can explain everything I promise!"

You start to loosen up as you hear their claim.

"You better have a good explanation then. Because whatever you're doing is not inspiring any trust in anyone."

It's the fanatics turn to take a second breather, although they soon start to look more and more embarrassed as they realise they'll ACTUALLY have to explain themself.

"I....I..."

You're more patient with them this time surprisingly, letting them find the time to make up their words and muster their courage to barely whisper an answer to your question, not even able to look you in the face.

"I was...feeling lonely. And since a new face that wasn't trying to explode our sanctuary had arrived after so long...I..."

After taking a few seconds to process, you raise your eyebrows and widen your eyes, unintentionally loosening your grip on your weapon.

"Oh?"

The shameful fanatic try to shuffle farther from you, but that onky makes you come closer.

"That's it?"

There's a small pause before they slowly tilt their head towards you.

"...'That's it'?" They sound confused for some reason.

"I mean...yeah. It's not really that surprising to be lonely in Nevada..."

"...So you're not angered at me or about to attempt to murder me because of it?"

"Why would I be?"

When you clense their doubts, they seem to perk up, looking around with a clearly calmer head.

"So do you desire this back?" They hand the cereal bar towards you as you put your knife away.

"Huh? Oh, you can keep it. You looked hungry anyway, at least enough to pick it up in plain sight like that."

The fanatic raises their head up. Althought you can't see their eyes, you can tell they are probably wide as plates. But they didn't wait any longer to demolish that cereal bar, turning around so you don't see their maskless face before turning back and clasping their hands toghether, voice overwhelmed with joy.

"Thank you! I give you my deepest gratitudes you holy beast!"

"Ah, uh, it's nothing. No need to get so extreme about it..." You say, flinching a bit at how close they suddenly get.

"...Alrighty then! As you wish." They actually back away, hands behind their back.

"However, I still have a debt of at least one cereal bar towards you. Do not try to stop me, I'm not one to betray my oath."

As they finish talking, you nod, even smiling a little. They...actually seem like a pleasant fellow like that. How funny.

But a question still bugs you.

"Alright. Although if I may ask, are there not any other people like you in here? I've seen other seemingly inhabited places around, and you can't be the only member of your cult right?"

"Ah...right... Well, of course I'm not the only one here, we are quite numerous actually, however..."

A small shudder comes against them.

"On the night of our leader's death, us who were left surviving were scattered around quite a bit. At least in terms of morale. And it...simply is comforting in dark times, to gain a possible new acquaintance."

Oh. You feel bad for them honestly, whoever their cult leader was seemed really important to them.

"He was so great...he was our father..."0

You move your head back up to them when they speak in a saddened voice, closing their body language in on themself.

"Did you know he told us about his visions and prophecies every night before bedtime? (No you didn't...) The very last one he told us was about a new prophet who would descend down from another place..."

You're listen to their ramblings, attempting to nod in a comforting way.

"A beautiful one at that. He said fear would have been felt but all it'd take is one illumination to...*snif*...to guide us out of hell..."

"Wow. That's...pretty precise."

Shit. You're not sure if you should've talked at a moment like that.

"Very. It's only fitting that the one who began guiding us all to light has the brightest mind of all. He could even get as close as to say whoever they are would bring us nourishement."

They then start whispering to themself.

"A beautiful prophet...bringing us nourishement..."

You tilt your head to get a better look at the face they hid from you, before letting out a yelp when they suddenly move right in front of your face, analyzing it. How the hell did they move so fast?!

"WHAT THE F- What are you doing?"

They don't answer you, simply staring even harder.

"U-Uh, can I help you o-"

You're interrupted by a loud squeak coming from the fanatic.

"It's you! I have found you!"

"...Wha?"

They suddenly grab your shoulders and shake you around.

"Our prophet! It's you!"

"Augh- Wait what?!"

"A beautiful prophet! Beginning with fear! Who'd bring us nourishement! You've come down to us!"

You take one or two seconds to process what they just said as they keep rambling on, suddenly interrupting them when you realize what they mean.

"Waitwaitwait I'm not- I am NOT who you think I am! I'm just some randi who got stuck in the sew- wait did you call me beautiful?"

The fanatic finally get off you, but their gesture remains excited and inviting.

"Why don't be ridiculous now! You obviously are!"

You can't tell whether they're talking about you being a "prophet" or you being beautiful.

"No, I...I'm really not."

"Oh please! How about this then: have you been having 'strange' dreams coming to you lately? Or at all? Perhaps...dreaming of this very encounter?"

"Uh..." You raise an eyebrow at their weird question. You have had strange dreams that included sewers and weird cultists before, but you don't think they were as precise as to predict this very moment.

"I guess? But I don't think it's that uncommon with dissonance running everywhere arou-"

You don't have time to finish your sentence before they squeak again.

"Wait no-"

"I need to tell my comrades about this!"

"Didn't you say you were scrambled around or something?"

"Morally in majority! Besides, we know how to communicate, even in such complicated times!"

You raise an eyebrow as they turn around and pull out a funky looking walkie-talkie and whisper something into it.

"Ok?"

You're wondering whether you should say anything again, but after a few dozen seconds, your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of rumbling. Then by the feeling of rumbling.

"Huh? What is-"

The next thing to be interrupted is your question as dozens of the same mask wearing fanatics explode through the wall, running towards you like giant rats.

"HOLY SHIT!!"

You brace yourself, ready to either die or trip one of the swarming cultists to their possible death, but all of them stop right in front of you, bumping into you at most.

You slowly lower your arms when hearing whispers and the fanatic who called all of them here.

"My brothers! We have found a new savior! The one that was promised by our buoyant leader! The one who may guide us out of our psychological crat-"

"Hey hey hey! I think you got the wrong person my guy! I don't think I'm your savior or whatever!"

You try to make yourself seen and heard amongst the herd of whispers and giggles, but it seems that not anything you say could change the fanatics minds.

"Nonsense! You are obviously one of us!"

The fanatic who brought you into this whole mess then turned to the other and raised their arms.

"My brothers! Let them see our sacred, headquarters!"

You don't even have time to process those words before being picked up with a yelp by the cheering masses and transported to who knows where.

"Will you please listen?! I am not your prophet!"

"They are our prophet!!" The crowd of cultists chant as they run with your dismayed self over their heads.

It takes a few minutes during which you eventually accept your fate before you finally reach the so called "headquarters", and you are finally put down on a slightly elevated platform.

"...So...what am I supposed to do up here?"

You've had time to calm down and process things up a little on the way to this more open, less stinky chamber of the sewer, so you seem more aware of whatever's going on. The cult doesn't seem all that too dangerous anyways, especially with your newfound status among them.

"Oh! You may just enjoy and adjust to our brethren's lifestyle!"

Every fanatic seems to have brought or picked up a thing for you. Up on your """throne""", you can see all of them, clumping and looking at you with fascination. They seem way less numerous than what you originally felt like, maybe a little over 10 people. That's still quite a lot to have staring at and throwing offers to you.

"Uh..." Yeeaah, you're not really sure if you want to give everything up in a single day for cultists you don't even know.

"Can I...consider not taking the offer...? At least as an option...?"

The first fanatic you met climbs up on your level, albeit with a surprised voice.

"Wha- You do not desire to learn about our buoyant beliefs?"

"I...um...I guess, the problem's really just that I don't want to all of a sudden live wherever this is...at all."

The eyes of the masked people all around you seem to almost glow, and the offers of fresh rats, bird skulls, scented candles and old toys stop to let place for a small silence.

"...Oh well that's no bother! I had said "adjust to our lifestyle" earlier hadn't I? We'd all be delighted to help you get accustomed!"

"...Accustomed to wha-"

You cut yourself off to think about it.

Sure the place may look old and rundown, but it sure seemed to be safer than the overworld where everything wants to kill you. This area even has no rocks falling down, you just realised. And it's not like the people weren't nice, at least to you.

"...Can I go get my stuff from outside?"

"Of course! May a prophet knowing lf the path to the outside world lead our dear new savior to their personal promised land!" Woah, savior? That's a little strong of a word.

Someone raises their hand in the crowd, and walks up the hidden staircase of your platform to reveal a seemingly cleaner member of the cult, dressed in white and pink rather than the dark colors and green of the others.

They ask you to follow them and you do so, followed closely by all the other fanatics, whispering between eachother and you.

"What do you use to look so clean? Is it lotion?"

"Can we be friends?"

"Do you like Pokemon cards?"

"I have more rats!"

You can't help but giggle a bit at their antics, even starting a full-blown conversation with some of them.

But then, as you get closer to the exit according to the prophet, your attention is taken by a poke on your shoulder, turning around to see the first cultist you met, although this time they seemed more nervous than the others.

"Are you going to leave?"

The questions actually widen your eyes a bit. You take a few seconds to think before responding with your best attempt at a reassuring smile.

"I'll...uh...I'll be coming back soon. Promise."

They visibly perk up, walking faster out of joy.

"Wait! Can I come with you? At most to get a glance at the exterior of our home?"

This actually seems to shock the few others who heard your "friend", before most of them actually start to think about spending more time with you outside.

"Of course!"

They cheer under their breath, making you smile a little.

"Hey, what's your name by the way? It's gonna be a little hard to talk if we don't know how to adress eachother."

They raise their head back up to you as you tell them your own name, tilting it slightly.

"Well, before landing upon our buoyant group, the people I used to steal garbage from and eat called me Shithead!"

"Oh. Oh dear."

"Yeah! I even have some shotgun scars from them! I find it quite...how do thy say it nowadays...uh, cool. If you may!"

"Holy shit, are you okay?"

"Yes yes, I think it could be considered quite common in the outside world."

"Eh, I mean, yeah. I have a few scars myself. Can I make another name for you?"

"I don't know, can you? But yes, of course you may! If you are our new prophet then surely only good could come from this!"

"Alright let's see, uuh...Winston?"

"I love it! I am now Winston! God bless!"

You give them a thumbs up. You put absolutely no thought into that name whatsoever.

As you walk and talk, the prophet signals you that you have arrived at the exit, and the blood red and black sky almost looks blinding compared to the sewers.

"Do you require any assistance before heading back to your outside home?"

"No thank you, I know the way."

You can feel the dozens of stares on your back as you start walking away.

...

You turn back.

"...I'll be back right here soon!"

You point at the entrance grounds and the whole cult following you cheers as you smile and wave goodbye.

You re definitely seeing those guys later.

[snackugaki]

... just make an iteration* for fun, I said

a universe where they've made it into their late 30s-early 40s and they chill and can be serene in the company of friends and family for once. maybe a flashback or two for the action moments

"fix" your childhood turtles so they can have a reprieve and some shenanigans, i reasoned with myself--

WELP.

my tmnt au iteration (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)

tmnt au iteration part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9

tmnt au iteration omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

lny visit 1 | 2

is this actually new ramblings for the iteration or like one new lore bit and just a rerererererehashing of lore i sprinkled across the other posts.

first though, with my sorta-outsider-not-active-participant-in-fandom history I realized "au" isn't the proper term for what I've been doing, the more suitable term is "iteration".

and we're gonna sit with the fact that even someone at my old-ass age recognized my previous understanding of a term was, for all intents and purposes, not entirely correct and that I acknowledged it, rectified when I could, and that's it, it can be that easy.

...

okay back to the bullshit.

so my Mondo was introduced in the Archie run, a funky guy with a metal band called Merciless Slaughter, dressed like a punk Hulk, all around good peoples, hung out with the Mutanimals.

His design cobbling isn't too deep, I don't think. Just thought it'd be more rad if he looked more like a guy who fronts a band called Merciless Slaughter while remaining the same ol' Mondo inside, post mutation.

Kept some of his original color palette around in his hat, his pants, his NYHC logo (links) knockoff, and his little dyed leather cord bracelets.

the letters for the logo are for, Skate or Die (across), and Merciless Slaughter (down)

hmm still waffling on if I'm more tickled by him being taller than Mikey or the same height (5'4")

_________

and now for the rererererehash rambling because none of this design progression is coming out linear for me. so super quick, am an original 90s turtlemania survivor, Rise brought me back, gorged Rise then Bay then 2007 movie then rererererewatching of Next Mutation and the 90s trilogy for fun then hacking my way back through the Archie and Mirage runs then caught up with IDW and then just... slogging through 2003 and 2012 which honestly I feel like I got the gists of through gif sets alone.

one hand I can see why old fans (90s turtlemania) didn't seem to like the Rise designs, ours really were just the same li'l green dude but in different colors and hit sticks looks-wise. But here comes Rise with all the character design classics: different shapes! different sizes! exaggeration! and that's on top of all the nudges and twists made to the usual lore; Raphael is now the oldest, Leo and Donnie are now twins, they're different species of turtles, they're tools for war, brand new antagonists etc.

idk, to me when I was watching that shit, it was fun and refreshing so... ionno, built different cope maybe to the other oldheads pissing their pantaloons still ig whatevs

what tickles me most, personally, is the utter fuckton of Rise AUs, and a few Rise-driven iterations, and also some of the other non canon media iterations. so tickled that I got hit by the makeaniterationigitis itllbefunoccocal virus too. UnU (i'm kidding, i'm having so much fucking fun) just I'm addressing the flowers I wanna give to the kids who took Rise's take on tmnt and just RAN with the "different turtle species" from full out coloring their turtles the same as the species they picked to mimicking Rise's design language with different markings.

God, the markings thing just really nestled into my heart, it's such a simple thing and yet it took Rise to just try it, not even a lot, just a little for flavorrrrr. It's just enjoyable as fuck to me tbh and I'm sharpening my teeth when I revisit my coloring choices for the 8th time... fuck where was I?

right, mine are mistakes. wrongright place at the wrongright time, mutagen was there and now they can swing swords around and eat pizza.

someone(s) was high tailing it outta a TGRI lab with some mutagen barrels, driving recklessly while a bunch of eco-vigilantes had broken out of a pet shop that was the face of a black market pet trade/medicine/exotic food racket of endangered species. hence where their bit of human pre-mutagenic contact comes from (the strike team of people who freed them from their cages because all of them were endangered species & destined for a tank, a cutting board or a pill box); including a sea turtle Venus, Leatherhead, Tokka, Rahzar, Man-Ray some others etc etc. Jennika keeping her origin because it was dope as fuck. splinter was just there watching this symphony of human fuckery happen and decided to adopt some kids with no one asking (it was tang shen's onryo that is rooted in Splinter's mind that was asking, shh)

and ever since it clicked when I was gathering ref shots, ✨sea turtle Venus just makes sense✨ to me, it's taken my brain stem and rung it like a bell for new year's nonstop and i am not mad

... fuck, I am but also am not looking forward to when I start delving into ninjutsu, ninpo, Venus' whole schtick and how the supernatural fits into this world that I definitely don't need to be fleshing out this much just to draw them chilling on April's couch.

i've got like over 70 refs, holy shit

[asheronangel]

Go ahead and ramble. Ive been looking for an opportunity to ramble too lol. I'll start with a question if it makes it easier (optional).

What's the main difference between your au and canon?

-R

OH WAIT I DIDN'T THINK OKAY YIPEE

it's a classic separated rottmnt au (there's a lot of them, i know) so the difference would be who the boys were raised with, but there are also other differences in canon!

such as, those raised with splinter met april earlier than in canon, and baron draxum released the oozquitos later :D

leo was captured and raised by human scientists until... idk how old he was. eight? and draxum heard that those humans might've gotten their hands on one of his experiments! of course, he thought all of the turtles were dead, so he assumed they got their hands on some other project, probably less sentient like those golemns.

he sneaks in, finds leo, gets pissed, and destroys the entire facility, along with deleting all the information they gathered from their experiments (and maybe downloading some of it) he is then left to figure out how to 1. become a father and 2. become a father to a traumatized child specifically

pros are he's a better father than a lot of sep au's, and his human decimation plans are put on hold for a bit. cons are that his resolve to kill humans is now Even Stronger, and afterwards he starts actively looking for the turtles (to prevent them from having the same fate, although it's not like they know that)

donnie gets raised by some random yokai crook(s), thinking they're in the pirate circle? he ended up in the hidden city however frida does in canon idk (i think maybe something was up with their mutation so draxum separated them and that caused them not to be grabbed by splinter? idk. but uh baby turtles at an auction, big mama probably gets frida like in canon, donnie gets snatched up beforehand because oooh mystic potential oooh)

i think they're gonna be bug/arthropod like? seeing as donnie has arthropod themed tech, and i kinda view his battle-shell in canon as a way to be more similar to his brothers.....

and uhh he probably fights, just hasn't made it big enough to go to the battle nexus yknow?

donnie hangs out at hueso's pizza place a lot! i imagine hueso's brother recommended it to him when he was a little guy so it's become a safe space for him

i think donnie has a portal system for ethernet.... originally i thought of him having a super long wire up to the surface but while funny it doesn't make sense when i remembered they've got MYSTICS? so ya a portal to some internet on the surface he can plug in to, and then quickly unplug

and then, the reason i wanted to ramble: not sure what to do with raph and mikey

originally i was just gonna have them both raised by splinter yknow? but idk. wasn't really sure about it, but i also didn't want to have just one turtle be with splinter? and then i saw an au where they had raph and mikey be with splinter, and i realized "welp i can;t do it better than this"

i thought about maybe the unknwon sixth turtle being with splinter, and younger than mikey, so mikey gets to be a big brother? and then raph is hanging around the hidden city, i thought about him maybe being with the mud dogs? (since i originally considered raph and donnie being raised together, this would probably make them interact :D)

however im not. sure if i want to have so many characters?

another idea is that raph was in the sewers alone (or with unknown sixth turtle??) for until leo was captured, and the EPF looking around the area for more turtles drove him to hiding closer to where splinter and mikey were!

this is because i had a vague concept of a young mikey being upset with raph (existing) because he doesn't want to replace leo..

so. uh. any thoughts on that maybe?

also if you read all of this thank you uhhh have leo and donnie doodles

ALSO!! your turn now :D

[freewillacquired]

Nemesis thought it was honestly sweet that Alice would still not want him to get shot at all, even if it didn't really hurt him. She was a good friend. No, a great one. And what had he done for her? Nothing, really. He felt a little bad about that, and silently vowed to look for ways to repay Alice for her kindness and her tolerance of him. Honestly, he was just so happy to not be alone anymore, and to be with someone who knew his story and wasn't afraid of him.

"It's o-kay..." Nemesis said dejectedly. "I can just... sleet on the thloor." That wouldn't be comfortable, but it was better than making an unholy mess and pushing beds together. Unless... "You wouldn't nind?" he asked. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Although, he'd have to behave like an angry sasquatch to accomplish this. Here goes nothing. "O-kay. Stand dack." He didn't want her to get hurt in case pieces of wall were inadvertently launched at her.

It didn't take him very long to tear down the wall and shove all the debris into one corner. Then he pushed two of the beds together, making sure to leave one separate for Alice. She shouldn't have to sleep right next him, after all. "There," he said, looking at the larger bed he'd just made. It would definitely work, and for some reason, it made him a little happier. He was actually excited to sleep in a bed like a person for once.

"Yeah... they're tretty gross..." Nemesis admitted. His outfit had been sweated in, gotten dirty, been sprayed with blood and other bodily fluids... it was downright nasty. And walking around like that made Nemesis feel nasty too. It was very dehumanizing, to not be able to wash himself. It was just too difficult for him to get his outfit off by himself, though. Alice seemed to really want to help him out, but he was just so ashamed.

While Alice showered, Nemesis sat down on his bed. It was soft and very comfortable. A little dusty, but hey, that was the least of his problems. He just sat and thought about... everything. Looking down at his outfit, he wondered... could he really deal with the humiliation of his friend seeing him in all his mutated glory? It would be so nice to be clean, though...

Alice wasted no time in asking him again if he wanted to shower once she was done with her own, and Nemesis' desire to not feel like a hairy zombie's slimy backside. "O-kay..." he agreed somewhat hesitantly, getting up from the bed and trudging into the bathroom. He very easily picked up the cast iron tub, ripping it right off the floor, leaving a trail of floor tiles behind him as he carried it out of the bathroom, out of the motel room proper, and chucked it out onto the property. "All done," he said, brushing off his hands and heading back inside.

Once inside the bathroom, he sighed. Welp. Time to embarrass the shit out of myself. "There are... a lot of duckles..." he said, pointing to all the buckles, some of which he just couldn't reach himself. "It's helting... to hold in... ny organs," he explained. "And it nakes sure... the thirus doesn't nutate... any thurther. So I shouldn't... leathe it oth... too long." At least it cold be washed if he could get it off. Even if it didn't have time to dry by the time he had to put it back on again, he'd rather be wet than gross.

(For dead man walking verse?)

“Matt?! How did you- I thought you were dead. I saw you- I’m so sorry..” (Alice; @mxrvelouscreations

@mxrvelouscreations

Was... Was that... Alice? Nemesis stopped where he was and watched her. It looked like Alice, and more importantly, it felt like Alice. He could feel the T-virus inside him doing backflips with excitement. His tentacles started flailing around like idiots. He beat them back behind him.

"It's... o-kay... Ah-liss..." he said. How could she have known he'd survive stopping a helicopter with his face? And of course, a nuclear blast. There was also that. He didn't blame her for anything. She was just as much of a victim of Umbrella as he was. "I'n glad... you nade it out... oth the ci-ty..." he said sincerely.

"You want... sone cookies?" he offered, almost comically slipping off a large camping backpack that was stuffed with supplies. Water bottles, canned food, anything he might need. And yes, cookies. "They're on-ly... a little dit stale," he said, reaching into the backpack and holding up a package of Chips Ahoy.

[pocketramblr]

What if Giran was actually Hisashi Midoriya? (Inko got good taste lol)

goooood take nonny because one of the things that fascinates me about Giran is his working with KD in Vigilantes- like, Giran only works with people he respects, and apparently he respects this one hero enough to supply him what he needs to save his daughter from one of All For One's villain factories- AfO being his MAIN network/empoloyer! honestly it makes sense to me that Giran has some fondness for some heroes and/or some family that he can support KD's goal- and in this au, it can be both!

So, Giran is an information broker, and analysis on quirks and fights would be very useful information to both heroes and villains, so you know he shares that with his kid here. He indulges Izuku's love of heroes too because he has a soft spot for a couple and thinks the All Might fanaticism will fizzle with age

Initially he was planning to be slightly more direct with setting Izuku up with a potential criminal career, but then Izuku was determined quirkless, and he kinda figured if it was going to happen as it was likely to, Izuku'd end up there on his own and it was better to leave him what peace was left before then. In the meantime, he gets sentimental and helps a retired hero save his quirkless daughter from AfO

Annnnnd then Izuku was determined to be a hero so much he suddenly developed a quirk and got into UA. And now Giran is low-key panicking because AFO gave his son a quirk without telling him!! or asking a price!! which means Izuku made the deal!! and what, does AfO not have the decency to ask Giran himself?? Is he trying to replace him with Izuku?? or... did he find out about some of Giran's side sales, that cost AfO's empires? is this punishment?

Giran decides to casually ask him about it as one does, but AfO reacts... strangely. As if he didn't give him the quirk, and then asks "Oh, yes, i forgot what it even was, something too slight to think of asking a price for it... But we respect each other too much for that. Remind me what it was?"

and Giran is like... "huh... Told me it something explosive and he can't use it in the house. i would have thought he was joking, like i always say my quirk's firebreath to get an excuse to smoke and can't be expected to prove it, but his bandages and injuries tell me he's being honest. but maybe hurting himself was the price then?" and AfO is like 'huh............... maybe thats ofa but i wouldn't call it an explosion quirk... can this kid copy quirks? does he have an afo mutation??? somehow????'

And so Giran decides he's got to ask izuku directly, "hey, who gave you that quirk and what did he ask for because i know you got it from my boss and he was acting real weird when i asked him." and Izuku's like "YOU WORK FOR ALL MIGHT???" and Giran, who knows his son would not be fooled by any impersonation of All Might, let alone that AfO wouldn't do one, is like "YOU GOT YOUR QUIRK FROM ALL MIGHT??? CAN YOU STEAL QUIRKS??? HOW???"

after they um, have to clear things up Giran realizes they only have a small amount of time until AfO figures where Izuku's quirk actually came from so he's like 'welp. guess its time for me to do my best to sabotage the league. i'll make sure they don't get any useful info about 1a's quirks, that All Might will wipe the floor with the extremely lame villains i set up for Shigaraki, then i leave a very helpful anonymous tip.' and so he deliberately introduces Toga and Dabi to Shigaraki because he knows the chances of them killing each other and Dabi burning down the bar are very high at this point and leaves to let the magic happen........ and to hurridly create a few new identities for his family because no way is he actually dealing with the consequences of his criminal history, All Might cant cut that nice a deal even for AfO info so he's making his own deal

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Two Shorten the Road

part 1

joel dawson x reader

warnings: cussing? idk, bad writing.....fluff, cuteness, monsters(is this a warning), mentions of death, SPOILERS

word count: 2154

prompt: when your best friend decides to leave your colony to go find the love of his life, you decide to join him on his journey even if you aren’t so happy about where this journey is going

Welp I did it, I took it into my own hands. I am writing a joel dawson series. Because we👏need 👏more👏joel👏fics👏 it’s basically the movie, almost the same script but obviously slightly different…ENJOY! <3

No one in my generation or later had a typical upbringing, I mean some of us did but then the world ended. This type of thing sounds straight out of some apocalyptic movie, but we basically live in one now. Agatha 616, an asteroid heading straight for earth, I know, so original. So we all came together and did what we do best, blow things up. Yup, we blew up teh asteroid, and humanity was saved! We thought. But here’s the thing about rockets, they are made of a bunch of chemical compounds which eventually rained back down on earth. Suddenly there were these Aileen creatures that mutated and started eating us. Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles, you name it. Our president was even killed by a giant moth. Ya….not so original now huh? We suddenly need tanks to kill ants, oh man I remember the good old days when a shoe would do just fine. Sometimes even the tanks didn’t work. Eventually the really big ones and our military took each other out and we lost 95% of the human population in a year! Those of us who survived hid, bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years I’ve been hiding in an underground bunker. It’s really not as bad as it sounds, and it’s better than getting eaten alive. It’s a great group of people and we all love each other.

“Are you sure they’re asleep?”

“Who?”

“Y/N and joel!”

“Oh ya I’m sure”

“Joel? Y/n?”

“He’s asleep”

Actually we are both awake. Me and my best friend joel have kinda mastered faking being asleep. Our beds are right across from each other so we normally just lie there and make stupid faces at each other. We are the only two single people in our bunker. Nice huh? Joel is my best friend. I met him when I joined the colony. He’s the sweetest. It’s funny cause everyone thinks we should just have sex already because that’s literally all everyone else does. But we are way above that. Anyway, joel is in love with his girlfriend from before the colony, her name is Aimee. With one “I” and two “e”s. He loves to talk about her, he writes her letters. So in reality, I am the only one who is not in love in this bunker. I’ve never had a boyfriend, ever, even before the world ended.

We don’t really get any sleep. The moaning kinda keeps us awake. I got up and out of my bed and headed for the kitchen. I heard Joel’s bed creak and then his footsteps as he followed behind me. Another annoying thing about being down here is that to get to the kitchen from my room, you have to walk though other people’s bedrooms. Oh shit, they are busy, why would they leave their door open. Me and Joel stopped.

“Oh” joel and I said in unison

“Hey Y/N! Hey Joel!” Ava said

“Oh hey Ava” Joel said, we didn’t dare look over to our left.

“Y/N how’s it going?” Tim asked

“T-totally good tim, h-how are you doing” I asked

“Yeah, good” he responded

“I uh we couldn’t sleep” said Joel looking at the ceiling

“Ya we know the feeling” Ava said with a laugh

“Yeah probably not for the…..same reasons” joel said looking straight ahead

“Your guyses door was open, did you…did you know that?” I asked

“Yeah we know” they said

I shook my head and knitted my eyebrows together

“Okay” joel trailed off

Ever since Tim’s parents were eaten by a swarm of termites he and Ava have gotten really close, in every way.

“Okay, goodnight” joel said as we walked

Basically everyone is coupled up down here, a baby was born last winter! Welcome to the apocalypse kid. Ok if we ever get out of this, that would be an awesome story to tell your kids. “Oh ya I was born in an underground bunker doing a monster apocalypse” “yes exactly like World War Z but with bugs bigger than a 5 story building”. I mean come on.

So your probably wonder how the hell we get food, we’ll we have a cow. Gurdy. Gurdy is great. We also have a hunting party that brings back whatever they can from the surface. It’s gotten harder and harder, cause we ran out of bullets. And facing one of those things with a handmade weapon is just as hard as it sounds. It’s very very difficult. I go with them….sometimes. I still get scared. But I’ve been out quite a lot, especially compared to my man joel over here. I’ve been out maybe 30 times, he’s been out…maybe once, or not even. He’s the chef of the bunker. He makes super good Minestrone.

Me and joel like to hang out with Mavis. A robot. Yup. Not much for conversation, her batter is shot. Just like every other mavis I would imagine. When I’m not hunting we hang out with her. But sometimes I just go read. Reading and joel keep me sane. I mean sometimes joel drives me insane but I still love him. I have quite the collection of books too! I’ve got Emma by Jane Austen, a couple random ones that we found, all the hunger games and Harry Potter books, some mysteries that stopped being mysteries after a while, and then of course some smutty romance books for personal entertainment.

Joel likes to say that his thing is target practice. He has never hit the target but ya know, gotta entertain yourself. I think his thing is drawing though, he has this book that he draws in from Aimee. It’s really cool actually. He’s really good.

I sat watching Joel as he tried to hit the target, laughing a little every time he missed. It was cute how hard he tried.

“Shut up” he said shaking his laugh away

I laughed again, but then suddenly the lights started flickering. You could hear screeches and creeks echoing through the bunker. Joel turned to look at me. Worry and determination in his eyes. We both scrambled out of the room and into the kitchen where everyone was preparing.

“Hustle, hustle people we’ve gotta move”

I turned to look at Joel but then realized that he wasn’t next to me. Where did he go? Worry flooded through me. Suddenly the clanking of our weapon started behind me.

“Hey guys!” Joel said as he rammed into the railing, I shook my head. “Guys! I’ve got the weapons” he smiled at me

A few people walked over to him taking them out of his hands

“Stay” said Tim

“W-what?” Joel asked looking around in confusion

Everyone was talking and barking orders “grab what you need and let’s go! Y/N you coming?”

My eyes shot open “yes! Yup!” I jumped up and grabbed the bow and arrow from Joel.

“W-what's happening?” He asked innocently “what’s going on?”

“There’s a breach” said Tim

“What do you mean? Like inside the bunker breach?!” He asked

“Yes joel! Now come on!” I told him, patting him on the pack as I followed the others

He followed me and watched the plan get arranged

“Anna, Y/N and I will engage. Anderson and Tom plank him”

“Plank him, ya ok where do you guys need me? You want me to uh come through the rear or..?” Joel asked eagerly

“I don’t think your going to pass this joel” I told him

“Pass what? You guys need help, let me help” said clutching his crossbow

“You gonna make me say it?” said Sam

“Say what?!” God he was so adorably clueless

“You can’t handle it joel, your shook” said Sam, we all began getting into positions

“Ya ok, yes so you guys don’t get scared..ever?” He asked still getting ready to fight

“We get scared, we all get scared joel, but you get really scared” said Sam

“They are trying to make you feel bad joel” I said sweetly, trying to calm him down

“We love you joel”

“But your a liability”

“Ok why did that speech feel so rehearsed? And what about Y/N? She’s like…ya know?” He said bobbing his head

“Joel-“ suddenly the bunker shook and the lights flicked again

“Ok 30 meters out! Let’s move!” And we were off

Leaving joel and some others behind. You could hear the growling of whatever we were up against

I followed the others and listened carefully. I was freaking shaking. Don’t ask how I got sucked into becoming one the the hunters. Kinda just happened and I was just-

“OH SHIT!” I heard someone yell, it was too dark to see. Someone was gone, that thing took them. I couldn’t even see it. Oh fuck my life. Everyone began scattering, running away from the monster. I stopped running to take a breath, when I realized I was alone. Nicely done Y/N. The lights kept flickering. I heard something blow up in the distance.

“Conned? Conner?” I heard a whisper, one I knew all too well. Shit, joel. I ran toward the sound, and had no idea I was also running toward certain death. I stopped running. There it was, that thing. I’d never seen this before. I didn’t recognize it. I stayed silent, not moving at all. It slowly crawled over a shower curtain. Oh fuck. He was going toward joel! I quickly grabbed my bow and arrow and shot it. Right though the face. Next to its….eye I guess you could call it. Joel stood there, frozen.

I slowly walked over to him “Joel, hey are you ok?” I asked as I slipped my hand into his. He was trembling. Tears ran down his cheeks. He has a bad freezing problem, so I've been helping him work on it.

About an hour later I sat with Joel, still holding his hand as he stared out into space. We could hear everyone talking. How could this have happened?

“It ripped through steal”

“Anderson and I resealed the Breach point, nothings getting in that way again”

“But why did it happen?”

I tried to toon it out, and I hoped Joel did too.

“Joel, do you wanna talk about it?” I asked squeezing his hand, he looked so sad, which just crushed me

He shook his head

“Ok….” I nodded, I leaned into hug him but was interrupted by his voice

“How far away is Aimee's colony?” He asked

I pulled back, looking at him confused. The talking stopped and everyone look at him

“What?” Tim asked

“Aimee’s colony, how far away is it?” He repeated

“About 85 miles” he said as he furrowed his brows

“How long will it take to get there?”

“What do you mean joel?” I asked leaning closer to him

“Just humor me, how long?” He insisted

“7 days” said Tim

“Someone who’s armed and trained would hardly last 50miles, but you…joel” Ava said, I felt bad for him, he really didn’t deserve any of this

“Alright” Tim continued “now I need volunteers”

“I’m gonna go” joel said

No one said anything, they just stared

“It’s an impossible journey joel” said Tim, crossing his arms

Joel stood up, moving around my chair. “No im serious…I love you guys but there’s only one person in this world who ever truly made me happy and she’s only 85 miles away” he said strongly “I’m gonna go see her” I could see his mind was made up

God he was such a romantic, how could you not love this guy? Sure it hurts when your best friend tells you that you didn’t make him truly happy. Especially when you maybe sorta kinda have a crush on him.

He let out a breath “woah, that felt awesome” he said as he walked off to start packing

I stood there for a second processing and thinking, but then suddenly my mouth took over and well….

“I’m coming with you!” I said, he froze “I mean you can’t leave me here with these middle aged people, and your my best friend so” I shrugged

“I’ll come back for you I promise” he walked over to me “I can’t let you put yourself in even more danger” he said grabbing my arms

“I can’t let you put yourself in danger knowing that I could have helped protect you” I said, he stared blankly at me

I smiled “o-ohK…then I guess…” he trailed off

“Cool I’ll go pack” I skipped past him. Was I scared? Hell yes. But like I said, I needed to help joel and protect him in every way I can. And sure I wasn’t so happy that he was returning to his long lost love but if it made him happy then I would live. And anyway, two do shorten the road.

[wherethewordsare]

Dreams of You Still Live Inside of Me Part 1/?

Welp... @theamazingbard posted this a few days ago and I couldn’t help myself so here we are. Uh, mind the tags, this is probably going to get kinda spooky at some parts and fairly wumpy at others. I’ll update tags as I go and there will also be a posting on AO3... soon...ish? 

Obligatory tag for @jaskierswolf <3 

If you want to be tagged on this series or anything going forward, please let me know! :) 

-Jay

---

The den reeked of unwashed bodies, festering wounds, and spilled blood, layers of it. Geralt wrinkled his nose, his eyes scanning the darkness for the telltale sign of blue he had been warned about. 

The village had called it a djinn, but what they described was nothing near what Geralt had ever heard of before. It was possible that maybe this thing had been a djinn at one point, or it was something completely new. A new mutation that the Witchers would have to now be wary of. 

Looking around, counting up the huddled forms, Geralt got the distinct and unnerving feeling that this thing was not new. It was in fact incredibly old and incredibly dangerous. Every once in awhile there would be a soft sound of contentment or even a rolling giggle, half murmured words. 

He knelt beside an older woman, and watched her face closely. She was still breathing and there was the tiniest smile curling her lips. He looked her over and saw what he had seen on the others around her. Her arms were covered in long scratch marks, like tallies, angry bruises around each of them. Geralt rolled her as gently as possible, finding what looked to be a tendril, almost like a vine slipping into the back of her neck. Glowing blue fluid trickled sluggishly around the wound where it dug in. 

Geralt looked around, not seeing any sign of the monster. Pulling out the dagger from his boot, he propped the woman up and made to cut the tendrel in her neck. He barely had his fingers around it to pull it taught when her eyes flew open, milky and burning bright blue. She let out a scream that nearly burst his eardrum. 

“Fuck,” he tumbled back, pulling the dagger up and wheeling around. Something behind him, always behind him slithered along the ground. His hand clamped over the back of his neck as he felt a pinch but it was too late.

“Fuck!” Geralt was unconscious before he hit the ground. 

-o-O-o-

It was the feeling of his heartbeat, too fast but steady in his throat, that must have woken him. The smell of something terrible lingered but he was safe in his bed at home.

Safe? No, he had just been fighting a… something? Bright blue specks floated behind his eyes, a dull ache pushing against his head.

The sheets pooled around his hips when Geralt sat up, softer than he thought they should be. Far finer than anything he had been used to when travelling with-

He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, trying to stave off the pounding behind them. He felt-

“Well good morning, handsome!” Jaskier waltzed in and Geralt started. 

He finally took in the room around him. The furniture was understated but still lavish and he found himself in a large four poster with linens that were far more expensive alone than his whole armor set. 

But I don’t have armor? He thought, frowning down at the covers that he gripped in his hands. He looked up again to find Jaskier was standing there with a look of concern on his face. 

“Are you alright, dear heart?” Jaskier leaned first against the edge of the bed before climbing in and onto Geralt’s lap, his arms wrapping around him as if it was just something he did. He gave Geralt an easy teasing kind of smile. “Did you have far more to drink last night than I originally thought? You shouldn’t let Merik egg you on so much.” And then…

Geralt’s mind went pleasantly blank as Jaskier leaned down and kissed him, his fingers threading up through Geralt’s hair. If Geralt wasn’t pretty sure he was losing his mind, he would have even thought it an incredibly nice kiss. Jaskier’s mouth was warm and soft above him and it was easier than breathing to wrap his arms around his waist. He was rewarded with Jaskier’s soft breathy laugh and, oh, he wanted to hear that again. 

This was a dream, Geralt decided. A very good, very vivid, very warm dream. That’s why when he took a deep breath, trying to fill his lungs with as much of Jaskier as he could, he found that the smell of him was muted somehow. But he was there so Geralt rolled them, tangling them both in the sheets as he dipped his head to drag his teeth along the pale column of Jaskier’s throat.  

Geralt tried not to think of how everything around him seemed muted in the same way. Shadows around the edges of the otherwise bright room were deeper, how he had to be pressed tightly to Jaskier to feel his heart beating in tandem with his own.

He didn’t have a chance to think about that before Jaskier was pushing up on his shoulder gently, still beaming under him but now deliciously rumpled. 

“Come on, you big oaf, we have people to meet today,” he hummed leaning up to nip on Geralt’s chin affectionately. 

It struck Geralt how easy the gesture came, how openly affectionate Jaskier smiled at him. His hand came up, cupping the side of Jaskier’s face, pushing his hair out of the way as Geralt’s thumb traced his cheekbone. 

That’s when it caught his eye. Geralt looked closer above Jaskier’s brow and frowned. The small scar that had been in his hairline nearly as long as they had known each other was gone. 

They were sitting in camp and Geralt took Jaskier’s face gently in his hand, dabbing at the cut with a damp cloth. 

“It will need stitches,” he said flatly.

“Oh no, Geralt! Not my face, I’m far too pretty to scar!” Jaskier squirmed. They had been travelling together for only a few months and this was the closest Geralt had ever seen him to fear, and it wasn’t directed at him.

“Don’t worry. You’ll still be pretty.” 

“You think I’m pretty, Witcher?” Jaskier tried to waggle his eyebrows but winced, a fresh stream of blood sliding down his brow.

“Hold still, you’ll only make it worse,” he hid his smile behind annoyance and exasperation. 

When had they been traveling again?

Jaskier was turning his face into Geralt’s hand, kissing his palm. “As much as I would love to stay like this all day,” he leaned up, propping himself on his elbows, “we have so much to do before overmorrow.” 

Geralt let him up, watching this Jaskier closely. As Jaskier moved from under him, Geralt caught his hand, letting himself revel in the way Jaskier just let him as if it didn’t bother him. But the skin he found there was soft and unbroken. The calluses he knew populated Jaskier’s fingertips and the top of his palm were all smoothed away. 

“My you’re affectionate this morning,” he leaned down and gave Geralt a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you at breakfast, dear heart.” 

Geralt watched from the large unfamiliar bed, tracking this familiar and unfamiliar Jaskier as he left. But his eyes caught instead on something else.

Across from where he sat, a long looking glass hung on the wall. What he couldn’t quite understand was that the man there was in fact, handsome. Geralt had the distinct memory of long silver hair and bright amber eyes from the last time he looked into his reflection. Now, he was met with tousled dark curls and warm hazel eyes. His bare chest was unmarred by battle wounds. He was just… a man? A human, stripped of his mutations and the wear of the Path. 

The only thing that seemed to not have changed was the deep concerned scowl reflected back at him. Even in his wildest dreams, Geralt was still always Geralt the Witcher, he would never even hope to be…

“It’s a djinn, Master Witcher. It has to be! How else could it have shown me… It’s all I ever wished…” The man sat there, haggard and on the brink of breaking down. His eyes had been sunken and they couldn’t seem to focus on Geralt’s face. 

“Hmm. We’ll see,” Geralt nodded, leaving the tavern and the only survivor of the monster that had taken up residence in a nearby cave. 

“Fuck.”

[chaoticstarwberry]

Alien AU

After a literally year, i drew some concepts.

Just don't know how its going be the story-- first, I thought it's basically wild kratts but they're all aliens and in space but also maybe they could be aliens exploring earth? Welp, maybe in the future i'll finally decide this.

Martin is a humanoid reptilian-feline thing, that in moment,along with Chris they got mutated and the bros got special abilities: Martin can like "Hulk out", he gets bigger and stronger when he's feeling strong emotions, he rarely uses this bc he can't control It yet & Chris can go "Agility mode" and is faster.

The other aliens: Jimmy who's basically a chewbaka-sloth with whiskers spaceship pilot and spot swat is a adorable featherly raptor-cat cub

And here's a random gavin! Well, If it's going be the alien crew in earth and wild kratts kids saw them first.

[moonbearmeliox]

X-Men Series Film Review

Welcome back to “Bren rambles about a movie/tv series.” So I just spent the past three days watching the main X-Men movies and while watching I wrote down my thoughts and what came to mind when watching the movies. Spoiler Warning(duh) for the X-Men movies. Also trigger warning because I do talk about homophobia and conversion camps.

X-Men

As the woman is talking about how mutants can be scared to revel themselve because they could be met with hostility and violence, I find this as a parellel to gay marriage and how LGBTQ+ are scared to come out because they won’t be accepted. Mutants are scared to say they’re mutants of fear of being put to death; LGBTQ+ people are scared to come out in fear of being met with violence or judgement(some places you can be put to death for being gay.

“We should decide if parents want their kids to be in school with mutants.” Sounds the same as “Do you want your child to go to the same school as a gay person? Do you want to be in the bathroom with a girl who has a dick?(in the context of conservatives who don’t want transgender people to use the bathrooms they identify with because “their genitals don’t match)”

Speaking of gay: Eric and Charles

Wolverine got anger issues

Wolverine adopting a young girl with mutant powers, how many times is this going to happen? At least twice.

Rouge really got the shortest end of the stick with the mutant gene.

Give Rouge a male love interest that will inevitably die by her hand, that’s what I’m assuming.

Jean Gray is going to be Wolverine’s love interest, calling it now

Mystique’s costume always bugs me because she’s essentially naked. Like, the directors were like “She must wear no clothes.” “That’s not practical-” “Men will eat it up. The sex appeal, yes. Because women can never have practical costume design.”

Scott looks like he’s played by the main dude in the Sonic Movie(I was right!)

Can Magneto bend the iron in people’s bodies?

“You never use your power against another mutant.” How long is that going to last?

Dad Logan is the best Logan.

The Train Splitting scene shows how powerful Magneto is but didn’t Charles tell Wolverine that Magneto can control metal. Wouldn’t Wolverine have the knowledge, “Hey using my METAL claws against a METAL bender might not be a good idea.”

Kinda figured he would want Rouge, a mutant who can literally kill someone with touch is definitely something the big bad would want.

Magento could just metal bend Charles’ wheelchair.

So Magento’s plan is to turn everyone into mutants, right?

Charles explained it more and it sounds like Terragensis from Agents of Shield with the crystals. Some come out of it with powers, others will crumble to dust.

What powers the cortex that makes it so Charles goes into a coma? Like how does the liquid get into his brain for that to happen?

Yes Jean, it is a perfect idea to put the helmet that put Charles into a coma on your head. Nothing will go wrong.

Mystique really only has like five lines in this whole movie. She really is just supposed to be eye candy.

Of course classic shapeshifter double, who’s who scene. Probably going to be resolved with Jean Gray knowing which one is the real Logan.

The fight scene isn’t that well shot but it is 2000 so

I don’t remember there being a big museum when I visited the Statue of Liberty

I doubt Mystique will stay dead.

Again they thought it would be a good idea to send Wolverine, the man with METAL CLAWS to help fight a METAL BENDER.

Nice of Magneto to put Cyclops and Jean right next to each other face to face.(Director: They’re a couple they must face each other so one can kill the other)

Yep, knew Mystique couldn’t stay dead

Why did they try and have Jean and Logan have a weird semi romance set up when Jean is dating Scott

They gave Charles a plastic wheel chair for when he visited Magneto. Ha, that’s funny.

Plastic isn’t that durable, it would be easy to break Magneto out

X2

Nightcrawler!

The fights scenes have improved, but they’re using a lot of wire rigging

Alan Cummings played NightCrawler. Knew he looked familiar.

Let’s have Wolverine follow a wolf even though wolves are wolverine's natural predators.

Watch the president be a mutant

Dad!Logan

Still painting it that Logan and Jean could possibly end up together. No thanks.

I see they didn’t change Mystique’s costume design. Is she going to say more than five lines in this movie?

Government wants to pass an act to detain and control all mutants, goes and raids a school filled with mutants, and then is SURPRISED when the mutants retaliate. “Oh we don’t want to start a war” THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE. Of course they’re not going to leave them alone because what isn’t normal scares them and must be dealt with no matter what.

Getting even more parallels between mutants and LGBTQ+. Striker wanted his son cured of the mutant gene but was ultimately upset when Charles’s school couldn’t do that. It’s similar to how when people come out to their parents, their parents send them to conversion camps to “Cure” them because they think being gay is an illness. 

Bobby don’t get horny, it will only end badly

I asked the question if Magento could bend the iron in people’s blood in the last movie. The answer is yes. Yes he can.

Bobby’s parents “Have you tried not being a mutant.” Gives more LGBTQ parreles “Have you tried being straight?” “Have you tried being your assigned gender?”

An officer shooting a white guy? Unrealistic.

Welp Bad guys and good guys team up to save Charles.

Jean and Logan kissed. Here’s my shocked face. #TeamScott.

But seriously, I hate how the main dude must have romantic interactions with the main girl. It’s never the main dude has romantic interactions with a minor(minior in the sense of not that important to the plot) girl, Storm is right there with no love interest. Pair Logan up with her, that way we aren’t running an already established romance, But nooooo, Hollywood loves to have love triangles.

Mystique changing into Jean, making out with Logan, and then changing into a bunch of different girls makes me uncomfortable.

But again, “All women who have the potential to be a love interest must kiss the main dude” now we wait for Storm to give Logan a smooch.

Female Wolverine!

Magneto had his own secret agenda? Who would have thought?

Bobby’s going to come in clutch with freezing the water

Why does Jean need to go and stop the water? Bobby has control over ice, he can stop it.

Man I really feel bad for Scott. 

But I’m miffed because it’s the classic female character dies to further male character’s development.

Oh look Jean’s alive, not surprise. Is she going to be the villain of X-men 3?

I couldn’t watch X-Men 3 because it wasn’t available on any sites but reading the wiki synopsis I was right on her being a bad guy(MY BOY SCOTT GOT MURDERED!). Upset Charles died but he was old and the mentor figure so he kinda had it coming.  On to the prequels. 

X-Men-First Class

So Charles met Mystique first. And her name is Raven. Wonder what caused their split. I just hope they weren’t romantically involved

Poor Erik, really giving him a tragic backstory

James Macavoy!

Raven and Charles call each other siblings! Oh this is going to hurt more.

Excuse me while I get distracted by Vegas women.

But also did the CIA woman plan to sneak in as a showgirl. Because who would wear lingerie under work clothes unless she planned for this(or planned to get freaky later). I mean it’s Vegas so maybe she was prepared.

Emma Frost is a telepath and can crystalize her body. Not what I was expecting with the last name Frost but I also find it odd that her two mutations don’t intersect with each other. Telepathy and crystallization have nothing in common, so the only explanation is that she got both genes from her parents. It would have to be rare since males are usually the ones to pass the gene to their kids.

Azazel. I’m guessing is Nightcrawler's dad. He and Mystique will get romantically involved and have Nightcrawler. He’ll get the blue skin from his mom but the mutant gene from his dad.

Ok I’m miffed about the costume design again. It’s London and it’s raining and they decided to have Raven and the CIA woman wear SHORTS! They’ll be freezing their asses off all so you can have some leg candy? What’s so appealing about knees? Nothing. It’s always been women’s costume designs that have to be appealing, not practical.

If Charles can’t be involved with Mystique, then he’ll have to get involved with Moira?(I don’t know if I heard her name correctly, the CIA lady). Because all male characters MUST have a romantic love interest(sarcasm)

That one CIA dude, he’s a real one.

So the dude that killed Erik’s mother, is also a mutant. 

How is Erik trending water and controlling metal? Nevermind, he’s drowning

Charles saves Erik! And thus the ship is born. “Erik, you’re not alone.”

Hank Mcoy. They zoomed in on Mystique when he was looking at her. Reading the camera angles...oh please don’t have another romantic set up.

They did the Spiderman/MJ framing with Hank upside down and Mystique very close to his face. Yep, they’re setting up a romance between them that will ultimately go nowhere because again, Mystique will do the do with Azael to get Nightcrawler.

Hank and Mystique have only known each other for like five minutes and they’re already having a picnic on top of a rocket. I hate how romance moves so fast in movies.

And Mystique was going to kiss him. Just...no

Erik, right after he walks in on Hank and Mystique’s picnic: If I looked like you, I wouldn’t change a thing. 

Are they really trying to set up a love triangle between Hank, Mystique and Erik? I know Magneto and Mystique's relationship in the first three movies is close, but that sentence just makes it sound like Erik is jealous.

“Are you sure we can’t shave your head.” “Don’t touch my hair”. I mean he’s going to lose it eventually.

I love the mutant finding montage. Especially the Wolverine cameo

My mom just informed me that the bad bad is played by Kevin Bacon so that’s what I will refer to him as since I can’t remember his name.

These recruited mutants aren’t going to last long. They’ve got the youthful team up energy, they will be the “First Class” hence the name, but we probably won’t see them again after this movie.

Charles, Erik and Moira being disappointed parents. Starting to get a family vibe that we didnt get from the last three movies.

Charles as Erik storms in: I’m sorry, I can’t leave him. They’re gay your honor.

I just realized that Frost is the second right hand woman to have no real costume. She’s just like Mystique where “she must wear the least amount of clothing possible or have no clothing at all when using her powers” I just wish it would stop.

Let’s take the right hand woman who is a telepath with us. What could go wrong?

What is Angel’s motive to go with Bacon, like I don’t get it. And the adaption dude? It’s just a turn on the dime. Nevermind it was a fakeout and one of them died. Knew they weren’t going to last long.

I feel like Chalres trying to shoot Erik as training is foreshadowing.

Training montage

SO Bacon loses Frost and now has Angle as his right hand woman? I honestly didn’t think that necessary.

Welp there goes Mystique and Hank’s relationship. He only liked her when she was in disguise.

Conflicting differences! Finally get to see Erik and Charle’’s view on humans.

Knew it! As soon as Hank dumps Mystique she goes straight to Erik. Because “She MUST be romantically involved.” Why? Why? Can’t she just...not. She doesn’t need a man.

Erik: I want to go to bed. Maybe in a few years. Ha funny.

I get Mystique going to Erik because he accepts her, unlike Hank but again, she doesn’t need to have a love interest.

Suits! But again, miffed about Mystique’s suit not being fully set up. SHE DOESN'T”T NEED TO HAVE HER CLEAVAGE TEASING IF SHE”S GOING TO BE FIGHTING!

Could Charles just stop controlling Bacon, so he can move and Erik wouldn’t have a chance to kill him.

But good cuts between Bacon and Charles.

The boyfriends are fighting!

Oh that’s how he gets parralized. I forgot about that.

Erik really does care for Charles even tho they have different viewpoints

Mystique going with Erik and having Azeal with him is setting up the perfect opportunity for Nightcrawler.

“Gentleman, this is why the CIA is no place for a woman” *Big gigantic crash* That’s what you get for being sexist.

Days of Future Past

So these machines can absorb mutant powers and transfer them to other machines. A new threat.

Oh Charles isn’t dead from being disintegrated by Dark Phoenix

Logan!

Charles confirmed Mystique was like a sister to him.

So Mystique’s dna was the cause of the Sentitnals. I understand that stopping Mystique from shooting the doctor will change that, but also if that doesn’t work they would have to kill Mystique.(which won’t happen because she’s in the next movie.

Charles tells Wolverine that he didn’t have his powers in 1973, but First Class takes place in 1962 where he definitely had his powers. So what happened to Charles that made him lose his powers?

For once the government isn’t targeting mutants

Well one dude from First Class is in this movie, but sadly I can’t remember his name. X-beam guy.

Why is Charles drunk and not parallelized?

Hank still cares for Raven. Guess the love triangle is still a thing

Oh he’s doing the equivalent of mutant heroine to get rid of his powers and walk.

Erik in gay baby jail.

Erik killed JFK?! Why?!

I feel like if Mystique is searching around the office of someone, she should still be disguised as someone so she doesn’t get caught. I get her dropping the disguise to show the audience it’s her and it builds suspense but she would draw less suspicion.

PETER! MY boy!

I love that he talks fast and that’s kinda like a teenager. I don’t know how old he actually is.

“My mom knew a guy who could do that.” They’re not even trying to be subtle here.

Slow mo Peter speed scene! Yes!

Is that all we get of Peter in this movie? I hope not.

JFK WAS A MUTANT?

So Magneto can lift a plane, a submarine, and now a baseball stadium. Why does he need a baseball stadium?

They showed a clip of Peter watching the broadcast and he’s holding a little girl. I’d like to think that’s Wanda.

Everyone’s alive. Yay!

I’ll excuse Jean being alive because time changes and all that. SCOTT! SCOTT”S ALIVE! YES!

Apocalypse

Hey Oscar Issac

Young Scott!

Young Nightcrawler!

Erik went from wanting to kill humans to being a farmer and having a wife and daughter. Still going to end up on the bad side.

Young Jean Gray! Scott and her start out rocky but we know they’re going to end up together.

Knew the wife and kid wasn’t going to last long. Always got to do something that makes Magneto the bad guy

Two birds...one arrow

For this one, I can understand Magneto’s anger

Young Storm was originally on the bad guy’s side.

Scott sees things through literal rose tinted glasses.

I love Kurt.

Scott use to be a rule breaker

At least Storm has a practical costume. 

Also if Erik really wanted to lay low, why did he choose to work at a metal factory.

Pyslocke’s costume isn’t practical. She’s got a boob and butt window. Girl there are so many places you could get stabbed.

PETER!

Charles and Erik always greet each other with old friend

So birdman gets metal armor and the girls get nothing.

Peter slow-mo! This will always be my favorite speedster scene

So the only people that can save the X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Gray, and NightCrawler. Three teenagers with no plan. They got this.

Go Charles! Fighting no matter what.

Logan!

Thankfully most of these characters can’t die.

Pyslocke  and Angel can die but the others all have plot armour

Peter didn’t tell Erik he’s his son. Why?

No not the hair! Apocalypse took Charle’s hair.

Go Peter!

No Peter!

So Charles still has the hair when he’s in Apocalypse's head. Part of me knows it won’t grow back but I hope it does.

Mind fight!

So Erik is on the good guys side until the next movie.

Mystique finally has a good costume design

Dark Phoenix

The dude they got to play Bush doesn't look like Bush

SPACE!

This mission is going to go wrong and the X-men are going to get planned. Thus leading the world going against mutants again.

They gave Scott is own eye cannon, nice

Yea absorbing a solar flare will definitely cause your powers to go way hire

Well the mission didn’t go wrong, the way i thought it would. That’s good.

Charles motives have changed

So, men, supposed gods, robots, and now we’re dealing with aliens

Charles kinda being shown as a bad guy is weird. So used to seeing him have good motives.

The aliens want Jean to use her power to take over earth. Not surprising.

Dad now is not the time to poke the super powered bear

Police always show up at the wrong time

I know Mystique can’t die. This is the prequels

But again, Stop killing female characters to further male character’s development.

Oh there’s Erik. 50 minutes in and i thought we weren’t going to see him

Jean’s got a heat signature with that solar flare so it would be easy to track her.

At least the military decided to fallback instead of shooting

And there goes humans liking mutants. This is why we can’t have nice things.

So Mystique’s death is what sets Erik on being the villain again? It’s the same as a woman losing her husband and becoming a villain for revenge. Honestly I’m tired of love revenge plots.

Guys stop fighting! You’re  friends!

Oh shit! Jean is making Charles walk. And not in the good way.

OH SHIT KURT IS KILLING PEOPLE NOW!

Dark Phoenix. A movie about family.

Legend of the Phoenix. She’ll rise from the ashes.

Bummed Peter wasn’t in this movie more

All in all, Apcolypse is my favorite X-Men movie.

[roleplay-lanay]

The Meaning of Family / Normal is Overrated

Chapter 1: Abnormal Beginnings

>>Chapter 2

The story begins just before the happenings of X-men First Class.The reader and her son, Charles, approach Charles Xavier seeking help. Charles and Raven decide to take them in and they prove to be valuable additions to their small but growing family. It will follow pretty closely to the official movieverse timeline although some aspects of the story will be changed.

This story is my own. It is posted on Ao3, Deviantart, and Wattpad. However, I do not own any characters from the X-men universe, they are the sole property of Marvel. Please leave comments and constructive criticism. All my love x

Holding tightly to my 5-year old’s hand, I stood outside the pub in a dimly lit street. Bikes littered the sidewalk, all laid up against the tan brick walls of the building. It was a clear night out and the streets were quiet. Not long past 7 o’clock and it seemed already an abnormal night.

I took in a breath of the cool air and stashed the crumpled piece of paper in my coat pocket. It wasn’t a heavy coat or a particularly nice one. Slightly old and well-worn pale blue that reached just below my knees.

“Alright then, it’s now or never isn’t it Charlie?” I smile down at my son who was standing patiently gripping a light brown teddy bear to his torso. It had once been white. His coat and trousers weren’t high quality or expensive, but they were much nicer then the clothes I wore. This child was my pride and joy, it was most important to me that he looked well kept even if that meant that I didn’t.

He squeezes my hand with a bright smile and pulls me with him to the door. I open it to a warm atmosphere, ushering young Charlie in. He moved towards the coat rack and begins to take his off, setting the bear, lovingly named Teddy, on the ground. I remove mine and grab his as he bends down for the bear. Hanging the coats up, I glance around the room of moving bodies and low yet boisterous chatter. Maybe he wasn’t here yet or maybe I had missed him. No, I had to think positively because this was my only chance.

“Charlie, love, see that booth over there?” I bend down to his height and point quickly in the direction of a booth along the east side of the room.

“Go sit with Teddy over there. I’ll get us something to drink, alright?”

I smooth his hair as he nods and moves quickly towards the booth. I stand up and straighten my blouse before moving towards the bar. I glance back once more to check that Charlie was settled. The bartender acknowledged me.

“What would you like, love?” he asks as he places a glass of scotch down for a man who looks a bit down.

“One cola and a water, please.”

He nods and quickly starts pouring our drinks. I rummage through my coin purse finding the amount I need. I look up just as a man walks up beside me with a beautiful blonde woman beside him. They were laughing and talking quietly, so I paid them little mind. The bartender, which the man beside me called Norman just seconds before, placed my drinks on the counter and thanked me before swiping the change off the counter and turning his focus to the couple. I nod and grab the glasses but when I turned around Charlie wasn’t sitting at the booth.

“Charles,” came out in a panicked whisper. In my panic, I turned to scan the room, my elevated heartbeat caused my hands to shake. The glass of water slipped right out of my hand before I could set it back on the counter.

“Wooah!” The man beside me had quickly leaned down to grab the glass not too long after it left my hand. “Don’t want to break one of these.” He looked at me with a kind smile as he placed the glass and the other one he grabbed out of my hand on the counter.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry. I just—” I look around again and he grabs my arm gently. I was very appreciative that he saved me a lot of hassle, but my son was still missing. I turn back to him about to snap at him and he holds his hands up defensively, “I’m sorry, I just think we’ve found who you’re looking for.”

He moves so that I have a full view of Charlie glancing up at the man and holding onto the skirt of his partner. The relief that washed over me nearly brought tears to my eyes. I quickly bent down and took hold of his hand that gripped her skirt. “Charlie you can’t just move around like that. You nearly gave mommy a heart attack.”  He bit his bottom lip and whispered a sorry before pointing up at the man. I look up at the pair.

“I’m so sorry for causing you trouble.” I look at the woman and then towards the man. He shakes his head after taking a sip of his drink. He puts his glass down, “Nonsense, you see, I have a feeling you came here looking for me.”

Charlie wraps his arms around my neck and I hold him, standing up. “That’s him mommy, see?”

I look at him truly for the first time. The crumpled paper sitting in my coat pocket was a picture of him, torn from a newspaper, with the address of this pub on it. He holds his hand out to me, “Charles Xavier. It’s a pleasure.” I reach my hand out and grab his.

“This is my sister, Raven.” I nod and reach out to grab the hand that Raven offered me. “You have a very cute kid.” I smile as I take my hand back and place it on Charlie’s leg. “My name is [F/N] [L/N]. And this is Charles, but I usually call him Charlie.”

“It’s nice to meet you there Charlie. Welp—” he turns around to grab his glass, the glass of cola and the water glass between them. He nods his head in the direction of the east wall, “—why don’t we take a sit in that booth that Teddy is keeping warm.” He smirks at my confusion and strides across the floor. Raven strode after him with a knowing smile. I paused and looked at Charlie, “Did you tell him Teddy’s name?”

He shakes his head and I look over to the two standing by the booth watching us expectantly. I begin to walk and Raven slides in opposite Teddy. I set Charlie down on the seat and take the water from Xavier and he sets the cola down for Charlie. I thank him before sliding in after Charlie. He sits on his knees and places Teddy on the table before grabbing the glass. I help tilt it for him so that he doesn’t spill it.

“So, you came in here looking for me, might it have anything to do with the child?” Charles slides and settles in. I looked up at him incredulously as I help Charlie set his cup down. Charlie isn’t a talkative child with strangers. How could this man always seem one step ahead? He lets out a small chuckle, his blue eyes glistening with amusement. “I’m sorry darling, I haven’t told you anything. I am like your son, Raven is too”, he gestured to his companion, “though I suspect not in the same way.”

You see, I have a particular type of mutation that allows me to communicate with human and mutant brains alike.

I watch him, but his lips had been shut tight just then. “Was that you just then? In my head?”

He smirks and glances over at Charlie. Raven leans over the table with her hands folded in front of her, “Hey Charlie, what cool trick can you do?”

Charlie looks over at me seeking permission but before I could say anything Charles speaks up, “I don’t think that would be appropriate in public Raven, he is only a child. Whatever his trick is, we can’t be sure he can control it properly.” She sighs and looks at Charlie scrunching up her nose, “Party pooper.” Charlie giggles as I look between them.

“I came to find you because of him, yes.” Charles nods at me to continue while Raven and Charlie play some silent game together. “I heard— I read somewhere that you were an expert in mutations. He began showing signs of his mutation earlier this year.”

“You were scared for him, you heard about other mutants and how they were being treated.”

“Yes. And then I read about you in the paper.”

“And you thought you would seek him out and see if he can help in some way.” Raven looks up from her game with Charlie and I nod to her.

“I was hoping that we could seek sanctuary with you.” I look over to the child sadly, “Or at least he could. As we are now, I am struggling to support him, and I don’t have the means to protect him.”

They went silent for a second obviously having a silent conversation. I took the glass of water in front of me and played with it nervously, suddenly feeling parched but not willing to bring the glass to my lips. It was now nearly 8 o’clock and the pub seemed to get slightly busier. Charlie touched my arm and I moved it to allow him to climb into my lap, kissing the top of his head. Charlie then spoke up to a question I had not heard Charles ask. “We were on the train for a really long time before we got here.”

Charles nods and focuses on the both of us, “Would you like somewhere warm to stay?”

Charlie peers up at me as I look between Xavier and Raven. Raven smiled warmly at us, as did Xavier.

“You both look like you could use a rest. We can talk more in the morning.”

I smile and let out the warm breath I seemed to have been holding in since before walking into this place. I close my eyes and let my head rest against the top of Charlie’s.

“Mommy says thank you”, he smiles happily towards them. Charles slides out and helps Raven out.

“Let’s get our coats.” Charles suggests. Charlie grabs Teddy and slides out to grab Raven’s hand. They walk towards the coat rack. Charles offers me a hand and I take it. “Thank you, Mr. Xavier, for –”

“Just Charles, please.” He offers, and I smile. He ushers me to the rack as well where we put on our coats. I pick Charlie up and follow them out into the cool air. The street was still dimly lit and mostly empty, but the sky seemed clearer than before. I follow their lead all the way back to their manor on what could only be described as a truly abnormal night.

[cursewoodrecap]

Session 16: No Not Like That

Aw, been a while since I wrote one of these! Anyway: we run into some dickheads and try to solve things the not-murder way for once. 

On the road outside Bad Herzfeld, the trolls slowly begin to peel off and go their separate ways. Dr. Kjeller and his new bodyguard Kjell are the last to leave the main road, stopping to say goodbye to the small contingent of humanoids.

“Welp, dis trolls’ moot has certainly been an experience,” Dr. Kjeller sagely intones. “I would not say a success. The two of us are going to tour around and tell all the trolls we can find to stay away. I believe a trolls’ moot is not uncalled for, but we must look for a different place. Ideally one not full of weird fungus people. And, please, if there is anything I can do to help you….well, I guess you’d have to find me first.” He tips his travelin’ hat and departs. Gral tips his mask in return. He’s getting the hang of these Valdian customs!

It seems like the Orcish outriders have already left to report back to Duke Shieldeater, so it’s just us, the Fairgolds, and the beleaguered innkeeper and his daughter. What do we do with the civilians? I mean, we’re headed to Mornheim, and even if we’re gonna fix the water it seems kinda rude to drop someone off in Zombie Town. Flynn offers to introduce Aaron to his innkeeper uncle back in Holzog, to see if he can get a job there.

Flynn and Fiona are gonna stick with us to Mornheim. “Look, you had all the fun up there in Bad Herzfeld; I’m not gonna let the four of you get all the glory. You’re gonna do a big ritual and save the whole town? I gotta see this.”

We spend a couple uneventful days hiking back to Three Oaks Junction, where we’ll split up with Aaron and Rebecca. The DM tries to waylay us with a destroyed bridge over a fast-moving river, but we have a Ring of Jumping and a magical alligator. We’re fine. We roll some bad perception checks on watch and our rations get stolen by Curse Raccoons.

ANYWAY. As we get back onto the major roads, Gral is the first to notice something odd: there’s no carts coming from the direction of Three Oaks. Sure, it’s late evening, but last time we were here there was still a heavy buzz of activity through the busy trade stop. We approach extra-cautiously, making sure the civilians are in the protected center of the group.

The town comes into view, and it’s immediately obvious something has changed. A hasty palisade wall has been constructed around the town, and a banner has been hung over the gate, white with a red insignia of a bloody chain.

Shoshana groans. “AAUUUUGH, are you fuckin’ kidding me?!”

“Um, did the town always look like that?” Rebecca asks hesitantly.

Valeria shakes her head. “Not last week, it didn’t!”

Gral pulls the duo aside and gives them the Cliffs Notes: “We’re about to run into the Penitents. Talk about Rack as much as you can and hide behind Valeria. I hate dealing with these folks, but it looks like they put this place on lockdown, and we gotta make sure y’all are safe.”

Outside the gate, there’s a uniformed Penitent Knight keeping watch over a group of citizens who are digging graves. The gate itself seems to be manned by standard town militiamen, being supervised by another Penitent. Valeria casts a quick eye over the scene with Detect Magic, but finds nothing amiss. As she approaches (we’re wisely letting the paladin lead), a guardsman shouts “Halt!”

She stops at a polite distance. “Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service,” she announces formally. “What’s going on here?”

“By order of the town council, all who seek admittance to the town must submit to examination for heretical artifacts or influences,” the guardsman recites, scriptedly. The Penitent behind him nods in approval.

She meets his eye with an intimidating draconic stare. “We have artifacts we need to bring to the Cursebreaker Knights. Perhaps we can check them at the door and pick them up later?”

“Uhhh,” the guy says, his script clearly not having prepared him for that. “…maybe you should talk to the Inquisitor. He’s gonna want to speak to you about these ‘artifacts.’”

He has us wait a minute, and we take a quick mental inventory. We’ve got an evil skeleton tapestry, spooky lutestrings, the Eyegis, and one (1) entire Shoshana.

A group of six Penitents arrive and escort us stiffly into the town. The place is crowded as all get out; it looks like a lot of travelers have been stuck here way longer than they anticipated. There’s only two properly empty spaces: one’s some sort of enormous construction site, and the other is the area where the circus tent was; it seems nobody’s been brave enough to move into the spot or even clean up the ashy, crumbling remains.

There’s a rather unusual cart sitting among the crowded caravan parking, immediately familiar from the two reptilian beasts of burden hitched next to it. There’s a bit of a staredown happening; two Penitents are remaining remarkably steadfast in the face of two enormous, glowering tattooed figures. We can’t pop over to say hi; our escort is hustling us along and we’re not sure that knowing us would do Lucinius any favors.

Valeria’s about vibrating out of her skin, indignant at all these unfairly-detained innocents, and looks about a second away from drawing her sword and opening up a can o’ Righteousness. But no time for that; we’re being ushered inside the sheriff’s office.

The small-town hoosegow is cramped; there’s been makeshift cages built all along one wall, seemingly as some kind of holding cells, all of them full. Shoshana appraises the prisoners out of the corner of her eye. They all seem to have slight Curse mutations, but so vaguely that it could just be garden-variety weirdness. Sure, that guy could be a werewolf, but he might just be a real hairy dude. That lady looks sallow and corpselike, but not more so than any garden-variety resident of Mornheim.

Shoshana, her clawed hands shoved deep in her pockets, is strung tense as a lutestring. Valeria’s still managing to feign chilly politeness, but both of them are half a breath away from fight or flight.

Gral’s not looking at the prisoners. He’s too busy looking at the guard. There’s two burly Penitents at the door, which is unsurprising, but Gral could swear he’s seen the one on the left before.

He’s pretty sure we killed that guy back at the roadhouse.

The guard doesn’t seem to recognize us at all, but he’s pretty badly scarred, exactly in the way someone might be if they took a hit from a drow soldier’s greatsword.

We’re pulled out of our wary observations by a familiar, unwelcome voice. “Ah. Kyr Argent, wasn’t it?”

“It is,” Valeria allows frostily, as the Inquisitor glides into the room.

“It is good to see you again – in a manner of speaking,” he says, chuckling at his own joke as he gestures to his blindfolded eyes. “Yes, from the descriptions of the heroes who defeated the heretical circus, I suspected I might have the pleasure of working with you once again. What brings you to Three Oaks Junction?”

“Oh, we’re just passing through. Y’know, like travelers do,” she answers, her polite smile showing just a little too much fang.

“Yes, of course. As you can see, this town has become very useful in our war against the Curse.”

“Is it, now.”

“After the incident with the circus, the town council was afraid. Many of them had attended the performance, after all. They were worried that there might be some…aftereffects. Fortunately, my people were nearby, and they summoned me immediately to examine the town for signs of the Curse’s corruption. As we were here, it became clear what an asset this town is – just as the heretics used it to corrupt many at once, we can use it to root out those heretics who hide among us.

“On our first day here, we found one who bore the mark of the curse. I examined him myself. Foul lycanthropy. He was, of course, executed. Now, none pass through this place without our inspection, and we have found many others. You may have seen some of them outside, awaiting a more thorough examination. My work has kept me too busy to give each case the attention it truly deserves.

“The town council has been very accommodating. I have written to my fellows, and we are working on converting and expanding their humble chapel into a true bastion of Rack’s justice, where the divine light of the gods may lay bare the evil that hides among us, that walks the roads of this land spreading its poison.”

Gral mutters, aside, “Don’t think anyone’s walkin’ these roads now…”

The Inquisitor claps his hands briskly. “Now. I understand you are in possession of some artifacts, objects that you are transporting on behalf of the Cursebreaker Knights. I fear for our brothers amongst the Cursebreakers; their mission is noble but they meddle with powers they do not understand. There are things in this wood it is better not to trifle with. Bring the items to me, and I will inspect them. Those I deem acceptable may remain in your protection, but anything too dangerous must be destroyed. Should the Cursebreakers fall to corruption, we would lose some of our greatest assets in this war. Help me protect the Cursebreakers, Kyr Argent. Show me what you are transporting for them.”

Valeria nearly decks him then and there, but a quiet brush of shoulders reminds her of the trembling sorceress behind her. Not here, not now, not when we’re surrounded. If they get an excuse to get aggressive, Shoshana’s sunk.

We busy ourselves with pulling out Weird Yet Harmless artifacts. What kind of random space trinkets did we find, again? Clem shows them the Eldritch Cookbook, and we take a gamble by letting them look at the Pale King’s tapestry, which is a bit large and hard to hide.

“Very well. I will examine these,” the Inquisitor says smoothly, his tone giving no insight into whether he knows we have far more blasphemous things to hide. “Gunter! Find them lodging within the town. Once I have examined these items for corruption, I must confirm that none of you have been corrupted by their presence.”

Valeria smiles tightly. “I’m certain they are corrupted, but not corrupting.”

“With all due respect, Kyr, I have made a study of corruption. Now, because of your…esteemed position,” he says, gesturing toward her rose-emblazoned armor, “you are no doubt on a mission of some considerable importance. I will endeavor to expedite your case as much as I can.”

“Oh, there’s no need to give us special treatment. All the travelers here need to get through,” she responds pointedly.

The Inquisitor’s serene, condescending expression does not change. “You may go,” he dismisses. “I am very busy. As I’m sure you know, the work of good in times of evil is ceaseless.”

Valeria bows to the exact millimeter that politeness requires, and no further. He’s blind, and doesn’t notice.

As we’re ushered back out, Shoshana tries to catch the eye of one of the caged prisoners. They mostly just look scared, not evil, and there’s no sign they recognize she’s also corrupted.

Clem, meanwhile, takes the opportunity to scrutinize the weirdly familiar guy at the door. He looks perfectly healthy, except for all the scars. She elbows Valeria, who confirms with her Divine Sense that this is just a normal dude, not an undead. He’s either one hundred percent living, or whatever nonsense that brought him back from murder is specifically cloaked in a way that would fool a paladin’s senses.

Our escort shows us to a place to set up camp. There are several inns in town, but all of them are fairly occupied at moment. We’re pretty sure that a Knight of the Rose, hero who slew the dread circus, could pre-empt a less fancy guest, but we’re all chill with camping as long as we get to hit up a food truck or something.

We meet back up with our friends. The Fairgolds, who are pretty familiar with Three Oaks, are pretty shaken by the drastic changes. Aaron and Rebecca, meanwhile, are shocked. “Is this what the rest of the woods is like?!” Aaron asks. “I knew things were bad out here, but I assumed once we got out of Bad Herzfeld…”

“Different places have different issues,” Gral explains kindly. “Some are the kind you’re already familiar with. And apparently some places are afflicted with Penitent Knights.”

“Even before that, there was an undead curse which afflicted this place-“

“-Which we DEALT WITH just fine-“ Valeria interjects grumpily.

“-and Holzog’s safe now, but it had its own weird issues we had to deal with too. The Curse is everywhere; you can’t really get around it without clear-cutting the forest,” Shoshana admits.

We get the lay of the land. Commerce has slowed, but not stopped. The Penitents are searching everyone going through here. If they find nothing, they let you go. Most of the crowd is just people waiting for their turn to get checked. We see a few times, though - if something about you pings them as weird, they take you away.

Basically, we are in line at the TSA.

Guess we’ll take a walk.

We skirt warily around a Penitent street preacher who’s shouting something about justice, and casting out evil, and how Rack appreciates your sacrifice in these trying times.

“Sacrifice is a WILLING thing,” grumbles Valeria.

We walk around and do some casual recon. Much of the town is still a perpetual campsite/bazaar, but near the more permanent municipal buildings, several work crews are busy with construction, which the locals tell us is supposed to be some kind of temple. Quite a few rough tents with Penitent insignias are pitched by that area. The town militia is out in force, and it’s much bigger than when we passed through last week. Maybe half of the people running around on patrol are actually trained fighters; most of the new recruits barely even look like weekend warriors. Every patrol, without exception, is being supervised by at least one Penitent.

People are scared, mostly. Nobody around seems happy with the Penitents, but a lot of the people around have reluctantly agreed that Something Had To Be Done about threats like the circus, and there weren’t any other available options. No one’s enthusiastic they’re there, but neither are they vocally critical. Then again, we worry, maybe anyone who’s been speaking out or causing trouble has, uh, disappeared.

We make our way back to our own wagon. If we’re gonna go Get In Trouble, like adventurers do, it’s probably time to part ways with our civilian friends. We pool 40 gold for Aaron and Rebecca (Clem contributing nothing because giving money is WAY too personal; Shoshana giving extra because she’s projecting really hard onto them) and Aaron’s eyes go wide. Oh, right, most people don’t make adventurer amounts of cash? It’ll be enough to get them safely set up in Holzog, with money to spare. They leave to set up their own travel plans, stuttering awkward thanks.

Flynn, meanwhile, grins. “Don’t think you’re getting rid of us that easily. You guys are terrible liars, I know you’re plotting something.”

We admit we don’t actually have a plan, but Valeria is adamant that This Nonsense Cannot Stand.

Let’s go recruit some allies, maybe? Gral wanders within Message range of Lucinius’ wagon, which is very clearly cordoned off and under guard. Bjorn and Ingborg are still there, but there’s no sign of the dragonborn.

“Heyy it’s us, what’s going on? Over.”

“Hello. We cannot leave. The Professor was taken. They wished to search the cart. He explained what he has and what he has found, that he is carrying important research. He would not allow them to confiscate his research, and he went to speak to the one in charge. That was three days ago; we have not seen him since. It is our duty to protect the man, but we have not seen a way to fulfil that duty without getting ourselves killed.”

We promise to keep them posted, and ask them to sit tight so when we make our move, it’ll be coordinated.

Next, Gral and Shoshana go down to the local pub to see if we can find anyone that’s particularly malcontented with the Penitents. We assume religious zealots are not much for hanging around bars. They don’t seem to be much into worldly pleasures, coughzombiecough.

Nobody’s talking too much shit until they get a couple of drinks in them but we do find some people griping, mostly merchants passing through. Pierre the Demish furrier, who we met back at the Holzog roadhouse, has turned up again; apparently the Penitents seized a good deal of his stock. And he’s been reduced to drinking BEER. He has OPINIONS about that. (It does not stop him drinking lots of it; he has to drown his sorrows at being denied worthy alcohol.)

Gral tries to butter him up a bit by letting him ramble about Demish wine. “When you drink a bottle of Demish wine, you taste centuries of tradition in that vineyard! You taste the earth itself, the hands of the farmers. It is sweet and it stings and it is good. What is this? Barley? Hops? HOPS? Hop is a verb, hop is not an object. Hop is for bunnies. The bunnies may eat the hops, and then I will cook the bunnies,” he mumbles into his unsatisfactory beer.

Gral fumbles for sommelier expertise. “I come from a smaller river village; wine tastes different farm to farm. It’s not just about the plants, but the social experience.”

“It is the same for us, yes? A region’s wine is its SPIRIT. You go to the border of the goblin swamps, and the wine there tastes like fire and blood, like the steel of the chevaliers that defend it.”  Go to Petit le Fere, it tastes like long summer nights. Go to Marsène, the wine tastes like – have you ever been in love, Monsieur Orc?”

“Uh, n-no?”

It tastes like the first time you and your lover locked eyes and laughed together. That was my favorite wine. This? This tastes like mud with pretensions of alcohol.”

“It’s not the steel of the chevaliers, but it’s the taste of hardworking people. And if the penitents have their way, there won’t be a town here anymore.”

Gral butters the guy up enough to find out a few basic details: there’s about two dozen proper knights, but they’ve got local militia and volunteers to swell their numbers. A lot of people are very keen to get on good terms with the new bosses, whether it’s because they’re afraid of the Penitents or afraid of the things out in the woods that the Penitents have promised to fight.

“I was here to get a blood-red deer pelt with wolf’s teeth,” the trader complains. “I know a chevalier who would pay dearly to have it worked into his armor. And now it has been taken away!  For my ‘protection,’ apparently. I had to surrender the rest of my stock to avoid being thrown in those cages.”

Everybody in the tavern seems to be on good behavior – sure, there’s folks displeased with the Penitents, but nobody’s gonna do anything about it; if you look like you might be up to something, you’re gonna get dragged off. And Pierre’s been keeping a low profile ever since he saw that blue dragonborn get dragged down into the basement of the sheriff’s office.

Shoshana, meanwhile, slides over to a tough-looking lady at the end of the bar in militia-style leather armor. “Hey, you look like you’d know the system here. We just got in to town; how long before they search our cart and let us go?”

“A couple days; we got a huge backlog,” the woman, who’s introduced herself as Vanessa, tells her. “Depends on how much they suspect you. Some people, they like to leave ‘em here for a while, to watch ‘em for anything suspicious.”

“You say that like you’re not involved? You’re dressed like you’re with the militia.”

“Technically I am. Second-in-command, or I was, before all this. Not sure who is now. Hell, I was the one making noise at Sheriff Wilbur about getting more muscle after that circus thing. If you folks hadn’t shown up, I dunno what would have happened.”

“So you all get bossed around by the Penitents now?”

“Look, half the kids in the militia right now barely know which end of a spear is up. The Penitents agreed to supplement what we had.”

“…yyyyyeah, it kinda feels like they’re calling the shots, though?”

She sighs. “Yeah. Look, I had the idea that we needed to beef up, bring in experienced vets. I was hoping to get mercs or something, and then they showed up and filled the role. They made some kinda deal with the town council, y’know, they’d provide extra security in exchange for being given jurisdiction over anybody found to be corrupt. Sounded fine to us at the time. See, we didn’t make the connection that if they were with the militia, they’d be the ones making the call who all’s corrupt or not.”

“How many people have been deemed, uh, ‘corrupt’?” Shoshana asks.

“More than I’d like, but not enough to get everyone all up in arms. Everybody’s pretty sure that most people will be fine. Hell, most people probably will be. When someone goes to trial, they take ‘em to the sheriff’s office. That Inquisitor guy looks at ya, says a few magic words, and most of ‘em he lets go. A few get taken to the cages for a further exam. I dunno what that means – don’t know anybody who’s been let go after that. A couple of times he just made a motion and bam, those knights beat the poor bastard to death on the spot and burned all their belongings.”

Vanessa doesn’t look too thrilled about that, so Shoshana decides it’s time to confide a little. “Even with the entire town vouching for me that I helped with the Circus, I’m worried I’m a target.”

“Well, I don’t mean to say anything, but I saw y’all leaving the sheriff’s office. You’re gonna get called in; you’re exactly the type. Even before all those stories about burning down circus tent with your magic powers.” She stares into her beer. “They’ve gotta be crazy. There’s plenty of crazy in the forest for them to deal with, why the hell are they in my town?!”

The problem is, the Town Council, which is what passes for a governing body in Three Oaks, have signed off on the whole deal. “The council’s just three people – the sheriff, Burgermeister Menner, and Remick – he’s the guy who keeps the shrine up and running. They all agreed to have the Penitents come in, but we haven’t seen much of any of them except the Sheriff since.”

Shoshana files that info away for later. “You said the sheriff’s still out and about?”

“He’s – look. Wilbur’s never been the most enthusiastic about bein’ sheriff. We served together, way back, in the house guard of the von Kempt family. Even back then he got the job because he’d been a sergeant. The guy was always happiest taking orders, rather than giving them. And hell, most of the sheriff job was just keeping things running today same as yesterday. But he got pretty spooked by the circus thing. That kinda shit’s scarier than your ordinary pack of wolves or bandits. I tried to get him to do something, but he seems comfortable with penitents calling the shots. He trusts they’re the experts and know what’s best here.”

The Burgermeister’s been pretty busy with this whole thing, apparently, and Remick hasn’t really left his little shrine. The Penitents don’t use that one – they’re more into big prayer ceremonies and dramatically flogging themselves in the street, and they’re starting construction on their own grand temple. Something about “showing faith by constructing a worthy house of worship,” and all that.

Vanessa’s grumbling about the heavy restrictions on the gates into town and the perimeter patrols, so Shoshana strategizes. “Have you had problems with people hopping the fence?”

“I mean, normally, no? Town regulations say go through the gates, but we’ve always had teenagers hopping the wall, or people with business outside who don’t feel like walking all the way to gate – never a real problem, until this whole nonsense. I’m not on patrol anymore, but as far as I can tell people are too scared to try in case they get caught. Probably a good way to get declared a potential heretic.”

Apparently the wall isn’t super well maintained; there’s plenty of places a few charming scamps could get in or out if they’re willing to scramble a little. It’s a trade stop, not a fortress.

We don’t get too much more info around town, and decide to investigate the town council in the morning. We take watch overnight, but nothing happens.

In the morning, we split up to cover more ground; Clem and Gral head to the Burgermeister’s, while Valeria and Shoshana try to hit up the local chief cleric.

Clem and Gral arrive at the biggest house in town. There’s a Penitent standing guard outside the door. They skulk around nonchalantly to the back to properly recon. There’s no Penitents watching the back, so Gral slinks up to a window to peer inside. It’s pretty normal; there’s a woman baking bread. Clem points out that we’ll definitely look like the bad guys if we break into an occupied home, so…the polite approach it is.

“The Burgermeister is not feeling well and cannot see visitors,” the knight at the gate intones.

“We’re here on urgent business,” Gral improvises. “We are the adventurers who defeated the circus; we wish to talk to him about the restoration efforts.” He rolls a properly bardic persuasion check, but it’s still like talking to a brick wall.

However, the door opens behind the stoic guard. “Who is it?” An elegant middle-aged woman peers out at us. “Wait, don’t I recognize you?”

“Yes, we assisted in deposing the circus!” Gral replies warmly. “Gral Omokk’du; I serve Duke Shieldeater.”

“Clementine Haxan,” Clem offers laconically.

“Ah, yes. Please do come in. You left town so quickly, my husband and I weren’t able to properly thank you!”

“We had urgent business elsewhere,” Gral admits, the picture of good manners. “I suppose that’s how life is.”

They make pleasantries with the woman, Meredith, who falls easily into the role of gracious host.

“We had concerns to bring up with the Burgermeister, but what’s this I hear about him being unwell?”

“Yes, he’s been bedridden the last week. A bit of the flu; he’s getting to that age. Mostly it’s just the fatigue, really.”

Clem tuts. “I’m a bit of a medic myself. The flu can be very serious when someone is in advanced years. I could potentially give a clearer diagnosis, maybe alleviate some of his pain?”

Meredith visibly brightens. “I was thinking about sending for a doctor anyway; please come on up, I’ll see if he’s ready to take visitors.”

The Burgermeister has CORONAVIRUS and we’re in QUARANTINE.

She leads them upstairs. “Dear? Aldrich? Remember those people who helped with the circus? One’s a doctor!” She listens for a moment. “You’re tired? You’ve been tired for a week. No, that’s not normal. It’s normal to get a doctor!” She turns back to the two visitors. “He’s being silly, come on up.”

“I don’t need a doctor, just rest!” we hear a harrumphing voice complain.

He is lying in bed in his pajamas. Ah, this is the burger kingdom! No, it’s my burger meistdom

“Hello sir, I’m Clementine Haxan. This is my nurse, Gral Omokk’du.”

“An orcish nurse?” the Burgermeister

“I’m not as experienced as Miss Haxan, but I served as a medic during the Ascension War,” Gral seamlessly bullshits.

“Look I’ve just picked up a bit of a bug and I need rest;” he grumps. “It’ll go away after a bit and I’ll resume my duties.”

“That may very well be true, but gods forbid it’s serious,” Clem says in her best Bedside Manner Voice. “It’ll be good to have it looked it.”

“Ugh, poke and prod me, do what you have to,” he reluctantly concedes.

Clem makes a medicine check with Dr. Wendell’s assistance. The man’s not entirely healthy - his cholesterol is a bit high maybe - but he’s hardly an invalid. He genuinely seems to have some kind of cold or flu, but it’s very mild at this point. There’s no way he should still be bedbound. Maybe it’s just Clem’s standards as an army doctor, but if a soldier came up to her with these symptoms asking to be let off duty the prescription would be “stop wasting my time and go dig latrines.”

Gral insights the guy. He’s not lying; he honestly believes he needs rest. But the way he keeps repeating the word “rest” feels a bit weird. The vibe isn’t “this person feels sick and fatigued,” it’s “this person has an insistent conviction that He Needs Rest.”

“Rest” isn’t a Prisoner buzzword, but Gral’s seen bards cast Suggestion before, and that seems to line up a little too well. Unfortunately, he can’t just Dispel Magic the darn thing; it’s too artful and subtle for that.

Gral decides to fish for a bit more info. “Before we leave you to your rest, how long have you had this flu?”

“About a week? The Inquisitor comes by every morning to update me on the town’s situation. Though I must rest and cannot attend to my duties, a town’s Burgermeister still must keep up with the times!”

“When did you first come into contact with him alone?”

“Oh, I insisted on a meeting when he first came into town a week ago.”

Interesting. The Burgermeister falls ill just in time so that the only information he gets about the town comes from the Inquisitor himself.

Wife doesn’t go out much, armed guard outside

Did he update you on the cage and the executions?

Have been capturing some neer do wells that seek to do harm to town, held for further questioning, some eliminated to protect town like common bandits or beasts.

Saw people in cages! How would you describe them, Clem.

Clem: didn’t strike me as especially dangerous folk

“Well, neither did that ringleader! He only seemed as eccentric as any other traveling performer!”

“Sure,” Gral argues, “but that’s when he had time to prepare his lies and his magic. These scared people in cages wouldn’t be able to hide if they tried. Honestly, the worst I saw was an excessive amount of body hair.”

“Fine, fine, I will inspect these prisoners personally as soon as I feel better, which should be any day now!”

“With all due respect, you fell ill right after this Inquisitor started talking to you. I don’t think it’s a coincidence. Miss Haxan says you’re fine-“

“No I’m not! I need rest!” the Burgermeister interjects heatedly.

“We saved the town, and we’ve had trouble with Penitents before. I believe he has a spell on you. Please, let me try to remove it.”

“I’ve no time for your insane ravings, orc. The Inquisitor is a man of faith! Now leave me to my rest. Dr. Haxan, I appreciate your diagnosis, but I tire easily these days. Have my wife show you out.”

Gral knows the effect of Suggestion is only about 8 hours, but it’s subtle mental manipulation; it lasts. If the Inquisitor is coming by every morning, that’s the perfect opportunity to refresh the charm.

The two of them head out, Clem politely prescribing a short calisthenic routine for the man and, oh, he’s on the mend but just in caaaase he’s contagious the Inquisitor probably shouldn’t visit for a few days?

His wife agrees that sounds reasonable, but it probably won’t stop the guy. They say their gracious goodbyes.

Meanwhile, Shoshana and Valeria are headin’ to church. It’s a tiny thing; there are naves for the three gods we expect, but it doesn’t have the traditional empty throne of Oberok and we’d be surprised if it had a proper hidden shrine for the trickster god Guile. There’s a few people around, and luckily no Penitents posted outside.

Valeria, of course, stops at the Rack shrine for a short prayer, still getting used to how odd it is to see him depicted as human instead of dragonborn. We notice a few little notes – the Lethe shrine’s sponsored by the local blacksmith. You too can have a sword or hammer just like these, in our showroom down the lane!

A few folks are doing their daily prayers and making offerings. They’re all locals and travelers; there’s not a single Penitent in sight, which is pretty odd. There’s no services right now, so we head over to the old man who’s cleaning up candle drippings under one of the offerings. Valeria introduces herself, at your service as per usual.

“Ah, Kyr Argent! I remember you, from that blond man’s story about the circus! Keeper Remick, at your service. How may I aid you?”

Valeria asks him how, as a keeper of the faith, he feels about the Penitents.

“Well, in these times, faith is very important. And they certainly have plenty of that. And that’s a good thing, isn’t it? As a paladin, I’m sure you agree.”

“Faith is one thing, but I can’t say I’m pleased with what they’ve misguidedly done here,” Valeria sniffs.

“As I see it, they’re keeping the town safe. The Inquisitor explained it to me. It’s the will of the gods! Desperate times call for desperate measures, and, well, times are pretty desperate when you can’t even trust a circus! With your mind, that is. With your wallet, Guile walks with them, doesn’t he? Anyhow. These Penitent fellows, they seem extreme, but is there any other option?”

“There must be,” Valeria declares. “They’re detaining people at a crossroads, that’s the work of oppression.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far – see, the Inquisitor explained it to me. He is an experienced scholar of the faith, with a keen – not eye, I guess. A keen sense for the corruption that lurks in the hearts of men. I am, to be honest, just a glorified janitor!”

“I’m certain you’re more than that,” Valeria objects.

“Oh, there’s no need for that. It’s a role I’ve found fulfilling, keeping this place and these people.”

“Well, it seems like they’re brushing past this place in search of something new.”

“Yes, heh. I believe the intent is to make this town a bastion of faith. I’m sure that my little spot here will still remain in use, but more glorification to the gods is good, right?”

We botch an insight check and don’t get a real good sense of him. There isn’t the sense that he’s lying about anything – our impression is he believes it’s not his place to stand in the Penitents’ way; they must know better than him. He’s an old man who’s done a noble job, but he doesn’t think he’s cut out for determining who is or isn’t a danger to the town.

We try another tack: “I understand you’re on the town council?”

“I am. Don’t know why, really. We used to have a proper cleric, decades ago. When he died, I was closest thing to a replacement we had! As the keeper of town’s faith, I hold one of the three seats. Burgermeister Menner does most of running the town, but for the big things he calls in myself and the sheriff and we all take a vote.”

“Then you must have been a big part of bringing the Penitents in?”

“Well, Sheriff Wilbur’s the one who brought their offer to us. I did vote in favor, yes. The Inquisitor showed up personally with his people and described the whole arrangement he had in mind. The Penitents would reinforce and train our militia, and those guilty of corruption would be remanded into their custody for justice. It all seemed very reasonable; sheriff Wilbur does his best but clearly he and his deputies aren’t enough on their own, not against this sort of curse. Burgermeister Menner fell ill shortly afterwards, and I’ve been very busy here doing what I can to keep up folks’ faith.”

Shoshana butts in. “Have you actually been out to see the Penitents work?”

“Yes, once. It disturbed me, but I understand it couldn’t be avoided. The Inquisitor suggested it might be best to avoid seeing such things that upset me so.”

“But if it upsets you – wouldn’t you be the one with authority to change things?!” Valeria demands, failing a persuasion check.

“Oh, voting on anything like that has to wait until the Burgermeister feels better.”

“Can’t council members do anything on their own?”

“Like I said, we’d have to convene to vote…”

“Sure, for the big things,” Shoshana argues, “But the sheriff and Burgermeister have their own duties, don’t you have your own authority as well?”

“I - I suppose I could call clerics from other towns to take a look?”

Valeria puts a gauntleted hand on his shoulder and sparkles at him with all her charismatic piety. “You’re not just the keeper of the shrine, you’re the keeper of this town’s faith. I know you can make a difference.”

The dice land in her favor. “Yes!” the old man declares. “I will-I will do something. What is it I should do? I’m new to this. I’ve held this seat for 20 years but, well, doing something is new. Mostly council meetings are that the Burgermeister says I’d like to increase the tolls, I say the gods probably won’t argue, the sheriff says it won’t cause a riot, and then he does it. I am not suited for a crisis.”

“Well, what kinds of things do you normally do?”

“Er, sometimes I have to sit in on a trial and make sure the prisoner has an advocate?”

OH YOU’RE A PRISONER ADVOCATE, HUH. WELL BOY DO WE HAVE SOME PRISONERS FOR YOU.

“Why, don’t the Penitents do that as clerics of Rack?”

We politely do not laugh in his face. No, no they do not.

“Oh, then I must go at once!”

We’re gonna reconvene with the rest of the party, and then will see the gods’ justice done! After lunch!

The four of us, plus the Fairgolds, meet up. Flynn reports that there have been no changes; the Penitents let all carts through but seized some items, mostly books. We swap info about the Burgermeister and Keeper Remick. The town leadership is hardly good in a crisis, but the Penitents have definitely been separating and keeping them down on purpose.

The first step is to bring in Keeper Remick as our prisoner advocate for those folks being held in the basement. The old man puffs himself up with as much importance as he can, aided by all of us backing him up looking tough. “AHEM,” he announces to the nonplussed Penitent guard, “as a member the of town council and keeper of town’s faith, let me speak with your prisoners!”

Silence.

“Can I speak to your manager? I mean leader!”

The Penitent shakes his head.

“Now listen here young man, what seat do you hold on the town council?!”

The Penitent finally speaks. “I have been instructed to-“

“To work WITH the town council,” Remick retorts, showing a surprising amount of backbone. “No matter how much experience you all may have, it is my solemn duty to speak with the town’s prisoners! Allow ,e to do my duty or I will be forced to write a sternly worded letter! APOLOGIZING FOR FORCING OUR WAY PAST YOU!”

The Inquisitor glides up behind his guard, listening to Remick’s speech. “Very well,” he intones in his eerily calm voice, “You may…enter.”

We are brought down to basement. It’s a set of maybe 6 cells, more suited to being a drunk tank than any long-term holding cell. In one cell we spot the distinctive scales of a blue dragonborn, and as our footsteps clank on the stone, an equally distinctive voice begins to shout indignantly.

“You brutes, I demand you return my research materials to me! I was in the middle of some important work when- oh, you aren’t the warden. My goodness! Kyr Argent! I must say, it’s rather good to see a familiar face.” Oh, hi, Lucinius.

The cells are overcrowded – there must be 20 prisoners across 6 cells. Lucinius and everyone else crammed in with him look pretty beaten up. They all look completely normal; the ones with visible mutations have been imprisoned where people can see. These are the prisoners they wouldn’t be able to get away with holding publicly.

Lucinius has clearly got a rant building up. “I explained to them many times that I am a professor from Golden Academy, and they refused to listen! They said my studies are ‘heretical’ and my magics ‘invoke the name of the tyrant god’ – yes, obviously, they were written during the Aquilian empire, they said ‘Oberok’ every other word! It’s not a dirty word! Anyhow. Are you here to let us out?”

“We’re here to be advocates!”

“Oh, we’ve had advocates!” Lucinius huffs. “The Inquisitor is the prosecution, while one of those fanatic knights serves as our ‘advocate.’ It’s quite far from ideal; their position as advocate is that we ought to confess, if we understand the gravity of our crimes. And then they hit us a bit.”

“I’m unfamiliar with the customs of this land,” Gral allows, “but that doesn’t exactly sound like proper advocacy.”

“Well, I certainly don’t know how things are done in this country! I’ve never been accused of a cr- well, I have been accused of many crimes,” Lucinius admits. “I find it’s best never to assume about local customs. That got me into a LOT of trouble with the goblins. Did you know they have a ‘trial by fire?’ I misunderstood it, they just light a big fire to keep the courtroom warm while the trial goes all night. I went to great lengths to cast Protection from Energy! And of course it turns out casting spells as a prisoner is double illegal…”

“Double illegal?”

“Yes, it means they bring in twice as many judges.”

As he rants, the sight of innocent prisoners in miserable conditions seems to be a pretty strong argument. Remick’s fully on board with booting the Penitents out as soon as he can convene the town council.

Gral’s going to make a show of it. Loudly, he declares, “This is a violation of these citizens’ basic rights! We’ll need a full meeting of the town council before any Penitent activities continue!”

The Inquisitor hmms. “That’s…certainly something the Burgermeister could order. But nobody may leave if they have not been inspected. If we cannot continue our inspections, the town would shut down entirely.”

“The lockdown would only start once the Burgermeister declares it, which hasn’t happened yet,” Valeria interjects testily.

We’re politely and pointedly escorted out.

Lucinius shouts after us, “Don’t be long! Tell my bodyguards these people are not allowed into the cart without a warrant signed by someone of noble rank, or at least with a judicial position! Also, contact the embassy! They can’t do this to me, I have tenure-!”

The session closes as we discuss how the hell we’re going to get a Proper Council Meeting with the sheriff out “receiving instruction” from the Penitents and the Burgermeister convinced he’s indisposed. And we’ve got to get at least two of the three to vote the intruders out. That’s not gonna happen without them feeling like they have some way to protect the town from the Curse.

We fondly reminisce that our previous campaign’s party would definitely have started murdering people by now.

[pilyarquitect]

45 with Leo and Donnie please?

45 "Sometimes you have to think of yourself as a priority." Leo y Donnie

Leo groaned noisily. He hated to wake up in the middle of the night. Why? Why couldn’t he just sleep all night without waking up? That wasn’t fair! He needed some rest, but waking up like this wasn’t the best way to get his extremely needed rest.

The oldest turtle got out of his bed. He was a little thirsty, and maybe drinking water would help him to get asleep earlier. He went out of his room and walked through the kitchen. While going there, he saw light coming out from Donnie’s lab. He could also hear his brother in purple talk… probably to himself.

Leo frowned. He knew it was late. When would his brother go to sleep? He also needed rest… maybe more than Leo himself. Okay, drink water, could wait. His brother went first. Leo changed his destination and walked towards Donnie’s lab. Once arrived at the door, he opened it. The big door screeched, surprising the turtle inside the lab, who as fast as he could turned to see who was there. His attitude relaxed when saw his brother there.

Leo frowned. Even having his mask covering his eyes. He could see his brother’s eyes were red, and he had eye bags under them. His brother needed desperately to rest, but on the other hand… he seemed to stubbornly refuse to take it.

It was Leo’s duty to get his brother to have some rest.

Taking a deep breath, the oldest brother entered the lab, he decided to get his self-imposed mission accomplished. It went unnoticed to Leo how his brother followed him all the way until Leo was at his side. Donnie was looking at him with fear, maybe guessing what Leo was about to say to him. But it didn’t matter. Leo decided to make his brother go to bed, wanting him to do it or not.

Leo tried to smile as kind as he could… quite difficult to do it, his brother had a miserable appearance… well, he had to say something, he couldn’t just stay there without talking-

“Hey, Leo, what’s up?”

Okay… his brother was faster than him to start talking, now he only had to answer, nicely.

“Donnie, have you even realized what time it is?”

Oh shell, this was everything but nicely. Great job Leo.

Donnie’s eyes opened wide. He turned to look for a clock and his eyes opened even more when he saw what time really was.

“Oh shell…” he muttered then turned to look at his brother “I didn’t know it was too late… sorry Leo…”

Leo smiled sympathetically. His brother was a kind soul, and it was obvious he felt terrible when he realized he was bothering another person.

“Hey don’t worry Donnie, that’s what older brothers are here for. Now, you’ve to go to bed.” He said kindly but also with a hint of rigor in his voice to show he wasn’t joking.

“B-but Leo… I’m so close to finding a retro mutagen… I… can’t stop now…” tried to say Donnie in order to convince his brother to allow him to continue working. But the older turtle wasn’t willing to let his younger brother win. No way.

“Donnie… you have to. It’s obvious you need some rest.”

Donnie looked away; it wasn’t difficult for Leo to guess his little brother was trying to come up with an excuse that would allow him to continue working on his experiments. The turtle with brown eyes looked at him with begin eyes.

“Yeah, maybe but-”

“Donnie, stop.” Leo cut him off before Donnie could say anything. He knew his brother would use every possible way to stay in the lab instead of going to his room, and Leo wouldn’t let this happen.

“Look Donnie, sometimes you have to think of yourself as a priority.” He said tenderly. Donnie looked at him with wide eyes. Maybe he didn’t expect this answer… well it was pretty obvious he didn’t expect it, and now Donnie didn’t know what to answer.

Oh shell, why didn’t Leo record this moment? To leave his genius brother without knowing what to say wasn’t something that happened daily.

Leo heard his brother leave out a sigh. Welp, with what excuse would he come out?

“Well… I know Leo, but how can I do that when this is my fault?”

Leo’s eyes opened wide. His fault? His? Oh no, Leo wouldn’t let Donnie carry this blame only him. This wouldn’t be in any way fear.

“Excuse me, your fault? I think you mean our fault.” He replied, crossing his arms on his chest and looking at him with a hard look. Donnie looked at him for a moment and then looked away, as if he couldn’t make eye contact with his older brother. Leo took a step forward.

“Have I to remember you all of us were there? We are all responsible for what happened that night.”

Donnie instantly looked at him.

“But Leo I-” he tried to reply, but once again, the older turtle cut him off. Would this become common?

“Yeah, yeah, I know if there’s someone who can find a retro mutagen, this turtle is you. But even geniuses need their rest, and this is what you’re going to have now.”

Actually, Leo would be more than happy to help his brother to find a cure to all the mutations that happened in the city because of them, but he wasn’t as smart as his brother. He wouldn’t even know where to start for… and… well, Leo was ashamed to admit sometimes they didn’t help his brother, giving him more work to do than he already had, for example, having to repair the toaster over and over again because he especially broke it every time, he used it. But on Leo’s defense, the toaster hated him, sometimes with just a little contact, the toaster broke itself without Leo having used it.

Leo saw his brother was looking at him, he seemed to don’t know what to say, Donnie seemed defeated…

“Oh shell… could I be here just a half hour more?” he tried to negotiate.

Leo was fast to answer.

“No.”

“… a quarter?” he tried again.

“No way.” Said Leo again shaking his head.

“Five minutes?”

Okay that’s enough!

“Donnie!”

“Fine, fine, I’ll go to bed.” He finally said totally defeated. He stood up. Apparently to go to bed. But Leo knew his brother better than that.

“Yes, you are. And I’ll let you know I won’t leave your room until I’m sure you’re asleep.” He said with a big smile. Donnie looked at him alarmed.

“Wait what?! That’s not fair!”

Leo’s smile increased. He knew his brother would pretend to go to bed and sneak to the lab again when he thought nobody would see him.

“I know, but this is what older brothers are for too.” Leo answered happily.

Donnie faced him with serious expression… Leo had to do a great effort to not laugh. Even trying to look serious, the truth is that Donnie’s appearance made it difficult to take him seriously. Suddenly Donnie closed his eyes, he seemed defeated… just seemed.

Walking crestfallen, Donnie headed to his room with Leo following him closely. The genius turtle went directly to his bed and once he was laying down he turned to see his older brother.

“Leo you don’t have to be here anymore, I’m on my bed, I’ll stay here,”

Leo shocked his head. There was no way he would do this.

“Sorry not sorry Donnie. I won’t leave.”

“Fine.” Answered Donnie looking away.

Leo smiled. His brother was truly stubborn, but so was Leo, and he wouldn’t let Donnie win.

Leo stayed there for a while, he didn’t know exactly how much time it was, but at some point he heard his brother sigh.

“Leo…?” said the tired turtle almost in a whisper.

“Yes Donnie?” asked Leo with a kind voice.

“I love you.”

Leo smiled. He knew it was true, but to hear his brother say that always made him happy.

“I love you too little bro. Goodnight.” He answered while leaving the room.

His brother was now sleeping peacefully.

Mission accomplished.

[forever-more-never-again]

Lucky Cat (A Request)

Requested: Anonymous

Word Count: 805

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Request: Hey dear! I love your blog, your writing is amazing <3 can i request a bucky x reader where she is like black cat (of marvel too) She's a thief and when the avengers try to catch her, she escapes but takes bucky as a hostage but do nothing with him, they just talk and flirt. you can decide the end <3

A/n: A little different than a hostage situation, but I hope you still enjoy it!

Masterlist

You smirked as you cut through the glass wall of the Avengers tower. From your intel, the team should be away, halfway across the world. Leaving the tower and its advanced technology free to steal.

Extending a leg inside, you held your breath for any signal to go off, but knowing that the probability was low. Because who would try to break into the Avengers tower? Who would be that crazy? Answer, [Y/n] was.

Sneaking the rest of the way inside, you quickly took stock of the room you had entered. It appeared to be a common area with an open concept kitchen. Not what you were interested in, but you couldn’t stop yourself from opening the fridge and pouring yourself a glass of milk.

A purr rumbled out of your chest as you gulped the creamy sweet liquid. Having a Cat Mutation did come with some strange behaviors.

Setting the cup in the sink, you slunk your way into the hallways and finally found what you wanted. Tony Stark’s Lab.

A simple code, and you were in. Keeping an ear out for any alarms or triggers, you downloaded the information you wanted and pocketed several gadgets.

Leaving the way you came in, you headed back to the common area of the tower.

As you reattached your grappling harness and tugged on the rope, your ears picked up the sound of someone breathing.

Whirling around, you came face to face with the Winter Soldier. He was dressed in a tank top and grey sweats and you couldn’t help but lick your lips at the sight of all his muscles.

“Stop right there Kitty.” His voice was low, gravelly, and commanding. Everything you liked in a man. It sent shivers down your spine.

Smirking, you quirked an eyebrow, “Is that an order? I do love Dominant men.” The last sentence practically a purr as you pouted your lips and lowered your lashes.

The man before you seemed hesitant for a moment, almost thrown off by your obvious flirtation. Then his frown came back and the steel flooded his eyes, “The other Avengers are on their way. We’ve heard all about you, Lucky Cat. Or should I Say, [Y/n].”

If the tingle of adrenaline and slight fear at the news that the Avengers were arriving back sooner than planned, you would have moaned at the way your name slid from the mouth of the Soldier.

You winked, and once more, subtly checked your harness before saluting, “Welp. I feel like I’ve Overstayed my welcome. See you later...James Barnes.”

His eyes widened at the fact that you knew his name, before he yelled out as you leapt from the window.

Rappelling down fast, you looked up to see his shocked face leaning out of the opening in the glass.

And then he did something you did not expect. Something that threw your probability abilities out the window, since he should be having bad luck, not good luck. He swung out of the window, and using his metal arm, slid down the side of the tower, gaining speed on you.

A startled yelp, and you decided to hell with it, and detach yourself from the harness and free fell that rest of the way down.

Landing on the balls of your feet, you carried your momentum into a somersault before standing back up and jogging down the dark streets of New York at night.

“[Y/n]. You can’t run forever.” The calm voice was closer than you would have liked.

Leaping up onto a fire escape, you slide into an unassuming apartment and clung to the walls and shadows.

As you evened out your breath, and checked that you hadn’t lost any of the items you had just stolen, you saw the dark shape of a man entering the window.

Leaping towards him, you wrapped your legs around his neck and punched several of his chakras and pressure points, rendering him immobile.

Jumping down, you leaned over his prone body and smirked at his low growl.

“I really would love to stay but I have a feeling that your buddies are going to be here any minute now, and I really would not like to be here when that happens. Since Bad luck does follow me.”

Bucky growled again, “[Y/n]-”

You interrupted him as you leaned in even further and licked a stripe up his cheek, before purring softly, “I do love the sound of my name on your tongue. Maybe we can arrange a playdate for a later date. Goodbye James.”

And with that, you opened the door of the apartment, and with a backwards wave, you left the soldier wondering just what he had down to have this strange feeling for a wanted criminal that had just left him immobilized in an apartment.

FOREVER Taglist:

@sxph-t @mialeelavellan @rainydaysrnevergrey  @platonic-plots @sociallyawkwardcircus-freak-hi @ayyidkeither @queenbbarnes @mythixmagic @chas-z @thefridgeismybestie @strangersstranger @princess-evans-addict

Bucky Taglist:

@evyiione

Avengers Taglist:

@jadepc @marvel-is-a-mood

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball 123

King Piccolo is dead!    He exploded in the sky over what used to be King’s Castle, but Yamcha, Bulma, and Launch don’t know that yet.   So they move quietly through the rubble to get a better look, until they find...

Another Launch!  No, wait, they find Tien, and this is Launch reacting to that.  Sorry.

She’s super happy an relieved to see him, and she starts bandaging him up.   This is cute and all, but I can’t help but notice that this is the first time Blue Launch has really spent any time with Tien.    She watched Tien break Yamcha’s leg, but I’m pretty sure she was in Blonde mode through every episode until they separated to deal with the Piccolo crisis.  Certainly, she could have sneezed a few times off-screen, but otherwise I think this is the first time Blue Launch has met Tien since he turned good.

I just wonder what the deal is there, because she seems pretty happy to see him, and I always took it for granted that Blue Launch loved Tien as much as Blonde Launch does, but she wouldn’t remember the things Blonde Launch saw that made her fall for the guy.    So what does Blue Launch see in him?   Or is this some deal where the heart remembers?

Then again, like I pointed out before, Blonde Launch didn’t see much of Tien either, at least in the manga, and yet she still fell for him anyway.  Maybe that’s how both forms of Launch roll.   She’s used to hearing about new people after the fact, because someone needs to fill her in on what happened while she was her other self.  

Once Bulma hears from Tien that King Piccolo is dead, she reports the good news to a TV station, and before long the whole world is celebrating.

This escaped convict is so relieved that he’s happy to surrender himself to the authorities.    “Welp, crime is illegal again, so I guess it’s back to jail for me.”   This guy looks like Nappa, by the way.

King Furry’s security guys congratulate him for weathering this crisis, but Furry insists that it’s all because of that boy who tore Piccolo a new cakehole and blew him up.   Well, those aren’t his exact words, but man that fight was good.

Back at Kame House, Tien tells the others the whole story, and Launch is still putting bandages on him.    Okay, Blue Launch is hot for Tien, there’s no question of that.   Bulma’s cooking eggs for everyone, and that’s normally Launch’s thing, so I’m pretty sure she’s only doing that because she couldn’t get Launch away from Tien for five seconds.  

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, though.    King Piccolo is dead and Goku is alive, but Krillin, Master Roshi, and Chiaotzu were killed during the crisis.    Worse, Shenron was destroyed, so the Dragon Balls have been reduced to ordinary stones.     Not sure why they bothered bringing them back with them to Kame House, or why they’re keeping them in a glass case, but okay.

Meanwhile, this old man’s watching an enormous TV.  

His wife busts in to tell him about this big egg she found in the river.   I was about to say “giant egg”, because it is, but honestly, the TV sort of stole the egg’s thunder.

The old man checks it out an he’s like “This isn’t even close to the size of my TV.” 

Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh.   Kami left it... why not?

He tells his wife to fetch him a knife, which seems like the wrong move for dealing with an egg, but it was floating in a river before, so maybe he figures all bets are off.    But then it hatches right in front of them, and they look inside....

AHHHHHHHHHH IT’S PICCOLO’S SON AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Back at Korin Tower, Korin heals Goku’s injuries with “herbs.”   This word is used in the manga too, which I don’t understand because we’ve already established that Senzu beans heal injuries too, so why bother with anything else?

Korin admits that he honestly didn’t think Goku stood much of a chance, and in his mind, the best case scenario was that Goku and Piccolo would take each other out.   If that happened, he would have used the Dragon Balls to resurrect Goku, though.    Turns out, Korin didn’t know about King Piccolo killing Shenron, which seems odd to me, since he usually knows about everything else, including Piccolo’s wish to make himself younger.    So was he watching Piccolo using the Dragon Balls, then looked away before he killed the Dragon?

  Goku’s pretty frustrated that he can’t wish King Piccolo’s victims back to life, but Yajirobe points out that this is normally how life works.   People die all the time, and you don’t get a reset button.      Then Korin adds that it’s actually worse than that, because when you get killed by a demon, you can’t go to the afterlife, and you’re condemned to wander limbo forever.  

I really don’t get this bit of lore, and I suspect that Toriyama threw it in just to make it clear that there’s something at stake here.    One could argue that Master Roshi is happier in the afterlife, like Son Gohan was, so Korin has to rain on that parade in order to keep the story going. 

But I don’t understand how Korin would know such things, especially since there’s nothing supernatural about King Piccolo or his spawn.   He’s not a demon, he’s a Namekian, and his kids are all mutated Namekians, so how does that fit into all of this?

At last, Korin realizes that there is a way to get the Dragon Balls working again.   Goku just needs to ask the guy who created the Dragon Balls to revive Shenron.   And that guy’s name is Kami.

I don’t want to get bogged down in the definition of the word Kami, since it’s kind of a complicated topic.   Suffice to say that it can be used to refer to a Supreme Being, and that seems to be the context it’s used for in Dragon Ball.  In the Viz translation of the manga, they just substitute the word “God”, which makes the point a little more clearly: Goku has to ask God to turn the Dragon Balls back on. 

I’m pretty sure that’s also what was meant when other characters have referred to Kami in past episodes.   Suno prayed to Kami to watch over Goku while he fought in Muscle Tower, and Chiaotzu prayed to Kami when Tien used the Ki Ko Ho during the World Tournament.   Even in this episode, that old couple who found Piccolo Junior thought the egg might be from Kami.   

So this is what Yajirobe means when he says there’s no such thing.    He’s basically saying that he doesn’t believe in God, even though he’s familiar with the concept of God.   And even if he did think God existed, it’s not like you can just walk up to his front door and ask him to turn the Dragon Balls back on.

But Korin tells them that he not only knows God’s home address, he’s the guy who arranges all his appointments.   Kami’s temple is directly above Korin Tower, and it’s so high up that it can’t even be seen.  Goku can’t fly up to it with Kinto Un because apparently Kinto Un’s maximum altitude is the height of Korin Tower.   A rocket wouldn’t work, because some sort of force field would repel anyone who approached.  

No, the only way to gain access to Kami’s temple is to get permission from Korin, and then to ascend from the top of Korin Tower using... the Nyoibo. 

Turns out the Nyoibo was never a weapon at all.   The reason it extends on command is because you’re supposed to plug it into the top of Korin Tower, and hang onto it while it takes you up to Kami’s place.    Korin gave it to Master Roshi a long time ago because Roshi wouldn’t stop bugging him about it, and eventually Roshi passed it on to Son Gohan, who gave it to Son Goku.   So as it turns out, Goku already has what he needs to appeal to Kami.

Or he would, if he hadn’t lost the Nyoibo during the fight with King Piccolo.    Whoops.

Goku heads back to the ruins of King’s Castle, where King Furry is holding a press conference.   When Goku arrives, Furry introduces the boy as the hero who saved everyone, though he doesn’t know his name.

The press  swarm Goku immediately, but he’s too busy hunting for the Nyoibo to pay any attention to them.

Then he remembers Fortune Teller Baba, and her ability to find lost objects.

Goku heads over to her place.   Now, Baba charges 10 million zeni for a single reading, but you can opt out of her fee by fighting her team of five fighters.   So Goku’s prepared to go that route.

But Baba points out that she’d never find anyone who’d be willing to face the guy who killed King Piccolo, so she agrees to do this one for free.   Master Roshi is her brother, after all.

Turns out the Nyoibo is at Kami House, because Tien picked it up off the battlefield after Goku left.   Goku heads there immediately, leaving Baba to remark that her prediction came true. 

Turns out Launch tied the Nyoibo to a broom head for some reason.    I mean, she needed to clean the bathroom, I get that, but it hasn’t been that long since Tien brought it here, right?   Sometimes it’s hard to tell with Dragon Ball.  Has it been a day or a week since Goku killed King Piccolo?  

Goku immediately runs off, saying something about going to talk to God, and warning the others not to dispose of their friends’ bodies.   No one knows what any of it means.

Meanwhile, Piccolo’s final offspring is burning houses down and threatening to destroy his father’s enemies.

[writer-and-artist27]

Miyako-bachan

The theme for this thing is Egao to Kimi ni, or, when translated, “To the Smiling You,” by Suzuko Mimori. The original version for Washio Sumi is A Hero or the shorter piano version done by YouTuber Hiumann works just fine. Because it’s such a nice song, and I couldn’t resist. -///- Even with the Yuki Yuna franchise being flawed like all heck with the ableism present in its magical girl system, the music and voice acting is still great.

Anywho.

The other song I’m going to mention here is actually My Neighbor Totoro’s Path of the Wind by Joe Hisashi, since Lang and Os both apparently see it as Tomoko’s theme. I’m surprised I totally missed that, but it works with all the classical orchestra cues! Hehe. ^_^

Copyright stuff. I don’t own anyone except Tomoko. Kei and Miyako belongs to @langwrites​ and Otoha to @owlsofstarlight​.

And to Os? This is my first time writing nonverbal cues and the like for Otoha, so feel free to correct me on anything.

Canonically takes place after How to Kill a Slimy Snake Man.

“To-To, you feeling better?”

Kuroha-san again. I was lucky. I really was. I wanted to hug them so much, if not for the fact that we had just finished what could be the biggest Group Hug out of all Group Hugs, and it was all out of thoughts of killing a Resident Snake.

What had the world come to. What had it come to, indeed.

Leo and Josh would probably be proud. I think.

Hisako simply shrugged when I leveled a questioning mental stare in her direction. Ninja world isn’t the best world, dear. Just take what you can get.

…Fair enough.

I wiped at my eyes as much as I could, trying not to sniffle. Crying for the entire day was not on my agenda. “Y-Yeah, better. A bit shaken, but better. You?”

A soft and reassuring dinosaur roar was my answer.

A giggle left my lips. How cute. At this point, I couldn’t think of a time where I would get tired of hearing replies like that. It was better than the ninja silence, so woo! “Of course, Osie. Of course.”

I didn’t have to look up to know Otoha was beaming and Kei was smirking. “‘Osie,’ huh?” Kei said softly, the smirk already seeping into her voice. “That was fast. Though, Tomo?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t you think you’re forgetting something?”

I wiped at my face a bit more with my hands to get rid of any remaining tear trails before trying to keep a level frown in Kei’s direction, because the warm fuzzies had already gone somewhere. “Forgetting what? We just talked about our latest Conspiracy Plot of killing a Creepy Slimy Snake Man, Kei, what else is there for us to do?”

“It’s not really something for us, but more you, Tomo,” Kei said with a small shrug of her shoulders, pointing at the hanging clock behind her with a thumb. “The Snake Man was way too distracting.”

“Um,” I said instead to fill in the silence, and over Otoha’s confused mumbling, I glanced at the clock. The seconds-hand was moving as usual, so what was the problem—

Wait.

Hisako nearly fell out of her chair and onto the library floor. You have training today, don’t you, Tomoko-chan? And it’s…

“It’s…after…1…in the afternoon…” was the slow response leaving my lips, and the hot coals were already flooding my face as butterflies started emerging from unseen chrysali in my stomach. “OH GOD!”

MIYAKO’S GOING TO KILL US!

It didn’t take long for the adrenaline to start coming in, and wearing a skirt was definitely not in this afternoon’s schedule. My cheeks were burning, but I needed to change, like now. Combat skirts were not a thing in Narutoverse, and I was not going to start making it a thing! Even if it was tempting! Mama would kill me first, all for ruining good clothes. “K-Kei, why didn’t you say it sooner?!”

Her only response was a quiet and perplexed, “I meant to say it earlier?” Emphasized with a raised pointer finger.

“THAT DOESN’T HELP!”

“T-To-To?” Otoha yelped. I couldn’t blame them for the reaction, since I ended up jumping to my feet before running over to my closet, narrowly avoiding accidentally kicking them. It took all I had to not slam the door open, instead putting in the least amount of force my emotions could allow while glancing over every single drawer and hanger I had in the area, because skirts could not become a thing in kenjutsu practice. Practice that I forgot about entirely. Frig.   

Aaaand without even being a sensor or looking behind me, my gut already knew that Kuroha-san was totally caught off guard. Aaaaaah, I needed to be better about this shit. Scheduling and sleeping late was one thing for Vy, a new life should’ve meant improvement! But nooooo, emotions had to be something else. Gosh darn it.

I probably could have worded it nicer, but what left my mouth instead was a rushed, “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, Kuroha-san, think you could look away with Kei while I change? I need to run over to meet Miyako-bachan for afternoon training with Hayate, and I still can’t believe I’m the doofus who got too emotional over an overpowered, useless snake and totally forgot about it in all that shit!” Because my closet was big and I still needed to find a good pair of sweatpants. I couldn’t even help letting out the loud and pitiful, “Baaaaah!”

Otoha’s only response was a yelp caught between a squeak and another dinosaur roar.

“And that’s why I meant to say it sooner if not for the Orochimaru issue…” Kei trailed off. Probably because I unintentionally let out a loud and mortified hiss. Cat-like, too. Aaaaah. Closet, closet, give me glass slippers and then I’d be off, so cooperate!

Tomoko-chan, breathe. Remember to breathe. Cinderella references aren’t going to help you calm down.

Aren’t you terrified too, Hisako? This is Miyako-bachan we’re talking about!

Who, last I checked, has never seen you late until now. And it’s only been… Hisako raised her left hand to count off fingers. Well, an hour, so it shouldn’t be too bad! First time’s for everything!

Welp.

Sure, the advice was nice, but bleh. The smile she was giving me didn’t help anything. It only made the butterflies in my stomach mutate into loud and angry vultures, hungry for my anxious entrails. I was lucky that Miyako-bachan wasn’t as hard on me like some other people, but still. Anxiety did not help anything.

Um, Hisako, it’s still an hour. And it’s MIYAKO-BACHAN.

…Point. Hope she won’t be angry?

In my haste, I ended up grabbing the nearest pair of pants I could find, being baggy blue shorts before pausing. Oooookay, this specific pair wasn’t in my best interest, considering the flecks of dirt covering the pockets from my last Gai-related training session, and considering my nearby…full laundry basket, um. So…

My gaze fell down to my bottom half, my hand tugging at the hem of my shirt. “Er, Kei? Silly question, but is Miyako-bachan okay with skirts? Because I forgot to do laundry.”

There was a pause as a hand made hard contact with a forehead behind me. It was obvious who it was. “Tomo, we have training gi. You could just go as you are right now.” She paused before adding, “Or I could just piggyback you back home?”

Uh. That was nice, but the stomach butterflies could beg to differ. Heavily. I did my best to swivel my head back to meet her questioning stare without rolling my eyes. “If not for the fact that I worry about throwing up over your shoulder, sure! Anyone have a magic cure for motion sickness?”

There was a soft crow caw as a response as a hand flapped in the air. Of course it was Otoha. “To-To, no. That’s not how chronic sickness works.”

“My point exactly, Kuroha-san. My point exactly.” I smoothed out my blouse, dusted off the back of my skirt, and glanced over my closet again before grabbing the nearest pair of clean exercise socks. Why, oh why, did I forget to do laundry today? Oh right. Snake man. Sucked ass. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you two very much,” Kei and Otoha glanced at each other and shared a chuckle at that, “but I don’t want to get bile on you two! I set myself up for this, so I have to reap my mistake! Even if it means facing Miyako-bachan’s wrath!”

Maybe the fist pump was a bit much. Still, it was a good way of getting myself in the spirits to face the future, and once I grabbed a spare hair band for exercise, it was turning back and fully facing them. My best friends. There was one thing left. “So, uh. Well, you two can still follow me?”

Kei grinned widely before getting up from her seat cushion. “I still have to head back and look after Hayate, so that’s a given, Tomo.”

On the other hand, Kuroha-san blinked before letting out what sounded like a combo of her usual happy dinosaur trill and something more nervous. Huh? “I’m coming too!” The remark was said rather loudly too, so I couldn’t help but jump.

…What just happened? Hisako filled in for me.

Kei gave Otoha a confused glance. “Os? You okay?”

“Um. Yeah. Just fine!” Otoha gave us both a thumbs-up when it became obvious we were staring in her direction. It seemed alright, but Hisako’s quirked eyebrow was more than enough to express my concern. After the snake man, I had more than enough of an excuse to be fussy.

Staaaaaare.

“Uh.” Otoha waved their hands in the air vigorously, shaking their head all the while. “To-To, Kei-Kei, really, I’m fine. Promise!”

I closed my eyes, doing my best to not clench my jaw. Teasing and prodding wouldn’t get us anywhere, and the clock was ticking. Way too ominously. Gosh darn it. Miyako-bachan wouldn’t let me hear the end of it at this rate. “Well, the tables are turned now. But time is precious. Talk later, run now?”

Otoha nodded just as Kei snapped her fingers. “Yep. Still up for a piggyback, Tomo?”

Um. The answer was obvious. “Please, Kei. No.”

“It was an idea.”

“Again, no. Let me handle your mom’s anger, please?”

“You sure about this, Tomo?”

My hand was already resting on the doorknob when the question was posed. I took in a breath to steady myself. Running had become easier, considering I wasn’t sweating this time, buuuuuut. “...50% sure.”

Behind my right shoulder, Otoha interrupted with a quiet and vibrating, “Why 50%, To-To?”

Because she’s Izumi Curtis in a yukata and longer hair?

Instead of saying that, I blurted out a high-pitched squeak of, “Because Kei’s mom is a badass swordswoman and a wonderful teacher, but she’s still scary?”

Kei’s stare was already starting to burn holes into the back of my head. I couldn’t tell if it was worry or suspicion or both, considering how her stare was still unreadable sometimes. It almost felt like I could burst into flames alone from her stare. Aaaaah. “Tomo, I can handle Mom for you. You don’t have to worry.”

Sweet idea…buuuut.  

I turned back to shake my head, feeling the familiar heat flood my cheeks, this time of shame. “Kei, I’m an hour late. Even if I had emotional issues,” she gave me a raised eyebrow at this, but I continued, “that doesn’t change the fact that I’m late by more than an hour!” It took almost everything I had to not pace back and forth and keep my grip on the door handle. “I promised Miyako-bachan, and I missed it. I-I’m a bit scared, but I have to deal with it.”

Otoha and Kei’s stares in my head, from what I could see past my bangs anyways, spoke volumes of their disbelief. “To-To…” Another soft dinosaur trill graced my ears as soon as a hand reached over to squeeze my free left one, and I turned my head to meet Kuroha-san’s brown eyes. “It’s okay. Kei-Kei wouldn’t lie. We got your back.”

“Besides, Tomo,” Kei said softly, poking the back of my head with a finger, “Mom’s been fond of you for years. I don’t think she’s going to explode on you.”

“…I hope?”

Another poke to my head. Aaah. Kei was giving that same unimpressed look again. She wasn’t buying it. “Tomo. Just relax.”

I gulped, nodded, and turned back to the door. It didn’t take much to open it, but once the visage of a lavender yukata registered in the new space, I was already freezing.

She was standing right behind the door.

“Hello, Tomoko-chan,” Miyako-bachan said coolly, hands hidden away in her yukata sleeves. From what I could see of her face, she was completely stoic, giving away nothing as her gaze was level with mine. “I see Kei-chan is with you.”

Tomoko-chan, breathe. Breathe.

Of course my Nobody would notice that my lungs stopped taking in air first.

“Um,” I said instead, because a lump had surfaced in my throat and I could vaguely make out some shocked noises behind me that I knew wasn’t from Kei. Panic was already bubbling up in my gut like a volcano. Aaaaaaah. What was I supposed to say in the face of that? My mouth moved without thinking as I ducked my head.“Yeah. Um, Miyako-bachan, I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry! I met up with Kei and another friend—”

“Tomoko-chan.”

“We were talking for a long while, andIkindagottooemotionalandlosttrackoftime, soI’msosososorry—”

“Tomoko-chan.” A hand landed on top of my head, stopping the ramble right in its tracks. I tried not to flinch, closing my mouth in time to look up. Miyako-bachan only smiled serenely. “I am not angry.”

“…Oh?” was the rather intelligent answer from me.

“Surprised, but not angry,” she added in the same quiet voice, brushing a stray strand of hair back before glancing past me. “From the situation, I am assuming you and Kei-chan have made a new friend in your unexpected absence?”

“Yep!” Kei answered for me, rather proudly too. She had wrapped an arm around the now apparently frozen Otoha in the time it took for me to ramble like a dolt. “This is Kuroki Otoha, Mom! Our friend, fellow ninja and bookworm. Otoha, Mom. Mom, Otoha!”

“A-Also known as Kuroha-san?” I added sheepishly. “To me, anyways…” My voice cracked again.

If Miyako-bachan was surprised, she didn’t give off the impression of it. Instead, she lifted her hand from my head to smile broadly in Otoha’s direction. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Otoha-kun. Would you like to come in?”

“A-Ah,” Kuroha-san said simply, jaw clenched before putting up what looked like a crooked smile and a shaky wave of her hand as acknowledgement. The vibrating nod was hard to miss, and from the looks of it, it seemed like Otoha had lost all sense of words. Her mouth was on the edge of saying something affirmative, but with the wind behind us, nothing came out of it.

I glanced at Kei in question, but she only shrugged and squeezed Kuroha-san’s shoulders all the while, almost as if to steady her. Kuroha-san was still staring in Miyako-bachan’s direction with wide eyes and that clenched jaw.

Meanwhile, Miyako-bachan glanced between the three of us with that same smile. She wasn’t fazed, I’m guessing? “How about the three of you come in? I can prepare tea and some snacks.” She turned back around with a dainty step into the Gekkō household, and paused. “Tomoko-chan, be sure to talk to Wataru about training gi, alright? We will start as soon as you are ready.”

Hisako let out a small sigh. Of course. …Yep, knew she wasn’t going to let us out of this.

I still couldn’t stop myself from smiling because Miyako-bachan wasn’t angry. Thank the gods. Or Buddha. Or whoever. Because good luck was good luck. “O-Okay!” Maybe it was the stress. Or the fading heat of my cheeks. Still. I don’t even know where the name came from before it was already coming out of my mouth. “Thank you, Miyako-shishō!”

I could already feel Kei and Otoha’s surprised stares boring into my back. Aaaaaah, what the fuck did I just say. Sure, Miyako-bachan was pretty, awesome, and really well-off for a woman in Konoha, and I just respect her, okay?! Aaaaah.

Miyako-bachan visibly paused her walking pace back in the house. “Shishō?” Without wasting a single second, she turned her head to face me again, long black ponytail brushing her neck all the while, a smaller smile on her face. “Tomoko-chan, you don’t have to call me shishō.”

Oh gosh. “B-But you teach me a lot of things, Miyako-bachan, so you’re shishō to me too!”

Miyako-bachan’s smile broadened. “Oh, Tomoko-chan, come in and take off your sandals already. You will catch a cold if you stand out in the wind all day.”

More embarrassed heat. Aaaaah. I was so cheesy. My feet were already sweating. “Okay! I-I’m coming!”

Kei simply chuckled softly behind me. Otoha was still silent.

“Strike-one! Block! Backstep! Tomoko-chan, you are faltering! Keep a steady breath!”

“Hah! Hah!” The snap of a shinai in the air. “R-Roger that, Miyako-shishō!”

“Block again!”

“Hah!”

“Backstep! Backstep! Backstep! Strike-two! I did not hear a snap of the shinai, Tomoko-chan! Swing harder!”

“H-Hai, Miyako-shishō!”

“You can do it, Tomo-nee!”

Otoha was still staring out towards Miyako with wide eyes as Kei drank some of her green tea. Tomo was doing fine based on chakra alone, even with her iffy endurance, so it was time to focus on the other person in the vicinity. Miyako could take care of Hayate. “Something the matter, Otoha?”

The enby startled before turning to her with a sheepish smile. She waved her hand in the air as discreetly as she could, shaking her head to the previous question. “Okay. Just really really really happy, Lang-Lang,” was the mouthed response, and Kei nodded. It was a nonverbal moment. Alright. “You have—” Otoha paused at this, glancing back at the training session still going on between Miyako and Tomoko for a moment.

A moment of silence, aside from the snapping of shinai, Hayate’s cheering, and Miyako’s barked instructions, passed between the two.

“Os?” Kei whispered.

Otoha turned back to her with a big, shaky grin, vibrating in place on her seat cushion. “You have a really awesome mom, Kei-Kei.”

Kei grinned back. “Mom is awesome. I’m glad you like her.”

Otoha nodded vigorously, opening her mouth again. “I-I wanna cry, just a bit,” they mouthed. “Could I come here more often?”

“No one is saying no, Otoha,” Kei replies, the grin already making her cheeks hurt from how big it was on her face. “It’s always nice to have company.”

Otoha’s shoulders tensed just as her smile broadened, nodding hard again. “Th-Thank you, Lang-Lang,” was the silent, mouthed reply. Accentuated with another wave of a hand in the air. “Thank you.”

“No problem, Otoha,” Kei turned back to the training session with that same smile, holding back a snicker at the latest event going on. “No problem.”

“Tomoko-chan, your stance is too loose! Tighten your muscles!”

“H-Hai, Miyako-shishō!”

“Strike again!”

“HAH!”

Even with the hard swipe of Tomoko’s shinai in the air, Kei didn’t miss the small and happy dinosaur trill nearby. It was peaceful. Just as it should be.