#well. looks like i just needed to talk it out loud to find a solution literally in. tumblr tags um

[naivety]

sorry dashboard. and i love you

[charliemwrites]

Oooooh I finally did it!! Mafia au part 6! A little bit of that sweet angst/comfort.

Content: Violence, Previous Injury (mentioned), Panic Attack (non-descriptive)

Let it be said: Johnny’s no snitch.

Outgoing (“loud” Simon would grumble) as he is, he doesn’t run his mouth about anything important. Doesn’t talk business over a pint or boast his connections in bar disagreements. Doesn’t drop names, flash heat, throw around the weight of his employer. Has never spilled a single fucking secret, not for knives, acid, a fucking gun to his head.

Oh, and please don’t tell the boss.

Let it also be said: Johnny is loyal.

He would happily lay down his life for any of his comrades, lives and dies for SpecGru – for Price. And even though you’re new, you’re one of them now. You’ve quickly found and secured your place in Price’s inner circle, different as you may be. Johnny would go to war for you, and your silly pink sticky notes.

Still, keeping something – anything from the boss. Even a private matter like this…

It happened on SpecGru property, that makes it SpecGru business. And it happened to you, which makes it Price’s business.

That you don’t already know that is… well, that’s between you and the boss. Johnny’s already too involved as it is. (Not that he regrets helping you. Not a bit. If he had his way, that little prick would have left with his teeth in his pocket and a new appreciation for his remaining thumb).

So now Johnny is stuck. He likes you; he really does. That you trust him with something so personal isn’t lost on him, especially in this line of work. He also has a healthy fear of your wrath. (You may not carry any weapons he’s seen, but you’ve got Price grimacing when you narrow your eyes just so. Johnny knows where his cupcakes are made, and he likes them without arsenic, thank you). So, personally, he wants to be able to honor your request to keep the matter private.

But then there’s Price, and whatever he’ll do to Johnny if – when – he finds out about all this.

Johnny’s solution?

“Christ, Gaz, ya shoulda seen it. Never seen the little miss tell someone off like that. Graves woulda been shakin’ in his boots. Will have to ask security for a recording of it.”

Gaz, unimpressed with Johnny’s volume, rolls his eyes and walks away, muttering about tea for his sudden headache. And Price, sitting at his desk, twitches and reaches for his phone.

Mission: accomplished.

Not the most elegant, but he’s a mafia lieutenant, not a fuckin’ spy. Now, to get those pastries you like before Price sees the footage.

“Luv?”

You glance up from the expense reports you’ve been working through for the better part of an hour. Mr. Price is leaning in the doorway to his office, shoulder to the jamb. There’s… an odd look on his face. You’ve never seen it before, don’t have it categorized in your mental files.

“Yes, boss?” you ask, straightening up.

“A word?”

You blink. That’s… different. You don’t like it.

Price is a steady sort of man. Not predictable, but consistent. That this is new, unusual, unfamiliar, makes you uneasy. Reminds you of your last boss, who could call you into his office with an affable grin, only to spend thirty minutes berating you for anything and everything he could think of.

Price has never done that, nothing even close… but you can’t suppress the slight shake in your hands as you smooth your skirt down. Hide it with a little flick of your wrists before grabbing for your ever-trusty tablet. Hell, you probably don’t even need it, but at this point it’s practically a comfort item. Maybe you should name it, put some googly eyes on it.

“Sweetheart?”

You startle a bit. Realize your feet have already carried you into his office and followed him right to his desk. Except instead of standing at his elbow as usual, you’re facing him across his desk. Like you did during your interview with him, when you were still strangers. Like you used to do for your previous boss.

“Oh, sorry, sir,” you chirp, forcing your usual brightness, “those expense reports, ya know? What did you need me for?”

Without a word, he spins his computer monitor around. Your brow furrows as you process the video playing on the screen. You. Soap. Brandon. Your stomach sinks.

There’s no sound, but there doesn’t really need to be. Even in profile, the expressions are crisp – high end cameras. You feel numb as the scene plays out all over again. You and Brandon snipping at each other back and forth. Your rigid spine, stiff shoulders. Brandon’s sleezy confidence. Soap, getting visibly aggravated as the seconds pass.

And there it is, the moment you spun on your heel, done with the conversation, and Brandon reached for you.

When you see Soap’s hand snap out – just a blur on the screen – you have to sit. Muscle memory collects your tablet in your lap, sweaty hands stacking neatly on top of it. Your heart is beating either too fast or too slow.

Your eyes stay locked on the screen until you and Soap disappear into the elevator, and the video stops.

“Should I play the elevator footage as well?” Price asks, voice low and quiet. “That comes with sound.”

It takes all your years of learned discipline and cultivated poise to resist shrinking in on yourself. It does not, however, stop your eyes from burning.

“Sir,” you say, struggling to keep your voice even, “I am so sorry.”

There’s a beat of tense silence as you gather yourself, throat getting tighter and tighter. Your head is spinning with fear and anxiety. What he’ll say, what he’ll do. How you could possibly damage control this.

“I-I don’t even know how he found out where I work,” you say, “and Soap w-was just trying to help. If I’d known that would happen, I would have taken it outside.”

You can barely look at Price as your voice break midway through, the panic leaking into your tone even as you stay frozen in place.

“Did we – is he suing? Is – is that why—?”

The tears escape despite your efforts, dripping fast and down your cheeks as you shudder in a breath. You can’t pay for a lawsuit, especially not if you’re fired over this. And you don’t want to lose this job. You love this job, you love—

“Oh, darling, what a mess you’ve made of yourself.”

You sniffle as Price rounds his desk and kneels in front of you, plucking his handkerchief from his breast pocket. He tuts at you when you open your mouth to protest, already blotting at your cheeks with a surprisingly gentle touch.

“There now, no need to cry,” he soothes, thumbing away another tear before it can fall. “I know it takes you ages to get your eyeliner right. This is nothing to ruin it over.”

“But…”

“I’m not angry, luv,” he continues, voice still low and quiet. This time, it doesn’t make your shoulders tense. “Wasn’t before and definitely not now. Chin up, there’s a dear.”

“Y-you’re not?” you warble.

“Not a bit,” he answers. “Not at you, at least.”

“Then why…?” You gesture weakly at the computer screen.

He sighs, something almost fond passing over his face. “Darling, you could have been hurt. Imagine if Soap hadn’t been there. All of us on the top floor, waiting for you to get back, not knowing something was wrong.”

He shakes his head, cradling your cheek with the same hand that brushed away your tears.

“You’re one of mine, you understand? Anything that happens to you is my responsibility,” he explains. “And I didn’t… enjoy that you want to keep something like this from me.”

You drop your eyes in shame. Of course. An employee assaulted on company ground, his personal assistant no less. Price would never stand for that sort of thing. He looks out for his own, looks out for you.

“Hey, look at me, luv. None of that now,” he coaxes. “I just want to get to the bottom of why you didn’t want to tell me.”

It occurs to you that that tone you heard earlier might have just been genuine worry and maybe… a bit of hurt. You twist your hands in your lap as you gather your words.

“I didn’t… it wasn’t because of you,” you murmur. “I just… was so embarrassed. And I didn’t want to make it your problem. I’m supposed to make your life easier, not harder.”

He huffs, but you’re relieved to see wry amusement on his face now.

“No more of that,” he orders, as softly as he when he wiped your face. “Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“There’s a love.” He gently pinches your cheek, then stands. “Stay here, I’ll get you a cup of water. Take a moment, yeah?”

You nod, sniffling again. He squeezes your shoulder as he passes, and you finally let yourself breathe. Not getting fired, not getting sued. And Price isn’t mad at you. Christ, he needs to work on his approach.

“Kyle.”

“Yeah, boss?”

“Look into that knob from the lobby. And the little miss’s last boss.”

“You’ve got it.”

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Masterlist

[girlgenius1111]

stuck with me

alexia x reader

alexia and r get into an argument just before the holiday break, as the stress of ale's knee injury bubbles over. r loses... a lot of sleep over it. alexia makes it up to her, even though she really doesn't have to.

no warnings :)

To be fair to Alexia, she didn't know you had sleep issues. How could she, when she'd practically been the cure for them? You'd had sleep problems long before you'd gotten together with Alexia, but they had... stopped, magically, when you started sharing a bed. Neither of you spent many nights alone once you got together, so most nights, you slept well, curled up against your steady, dependable girlfriend.

The exceptions were, obviously, when you went home for breaks without her and when you both had to go on national duty. You slept fine at home, away from the stresses of your job, in the comfort of the place you'd grown up in. Normally.

And in regards to national duty, you were lucky to have incredibly teammates. Lucy knew of your problem, and also knew that sleeping in the same bed as someone else was helpful. It wasn't Alexia, and it wasn't perfect, but you slept. You knew you'd have to find a solution when [if] Lucy retired, but for now, there was no reason why you'd spend more than the odd night without Alexia.

That was, of course, until her knee re-injury. Before the following surgery and holiday break. And the not insignificant fight that you'd gotten into with her around that time. It was a tough time for her, you knew, and she was coping with it the best she could. You'd been hovering over her, you knew that too.

You were just so worried, all the time. Alexia was so miserable not being able to play, so frustrated with her knee that sometimes you thought she was finally just going to breakdown and herself feel it all. She never did, though. Not until the day her and the medical team had decided on surgery. It was a few days before you were do back in England for the holidays, and you'd already been considering cancelling, and staying with your girlfriend. She needed you, physically and emotionally.

You really should have waited to bring up your plans to stay until she was in a better mood. Instead, you'd suggested it to her over a very quiet dinner, after the date for the arthroscopy had been set.

-----

"I'm gonna cancel my plane tickets to London, I think. Stay here with you." You suggested casually.

"What?" Alexia asked, dropping her fork onto her plate with a loud clatter.

"I want to spend Christmas here. You're having surgery and-"

"No."

"No?" You said, slightly hurt by the tone of voice she was using.

"No, you have to go home and see your family. I will be fine here."

"Ale, I want to be here."

"I do not need you here." Alexia said finally, avoiding your gaze. You knew she didn't mean it; she was in pain, frustrated, anxious, and trying not to inconvenience you. Still, you felt your eyes fill with tears at the rejection, and you nodded silently, before turning back to your food. You wouldn't cry, couldn't add any more stress to Alexia's already insane load of it.

"Now you will not talk to me?" Alexia asked. You looked up at her in shock, surprised that the next words out of her mouth hadn't been an apology.

"Just leave it, Alexia. I'll be out of your way tomorrow." You said back quietly, allowing some of the sadness you were feeling seep into your voice.

"Do not be like that. You tell me all the time to tell you what I need, and what I need is for you to go to England and see your family."

"Alright, Ale. I got it. You want me to go, I understand." You tried your hardest to keep your voice steady, but it still shook towards the end of the sentence.

"Amor, stop. That is not what I am saying and you know it," Alexia argued.

"I don't really know what you're saying, Alexia. It sounds like you want me to go."

Alexia exhaled loudly, before pushing her chair away from the table and standing up.

"I cannot deal with you if you are going to be like this." She snapped, before slamming her plate into the sink and marching off to the bedroom.

You didn't understand, not really. It seemed like she didn't want you here. Because that's exactly what she had been saying to you. You knew it wasn't really you that was the problem, it was Alexia's inability to allow you to see how upset she was.

This was reinforced when you went into the bedroom a little while later to pack. The shower was on, but you could still hear her crying over the soft patter of water. You knocked on the door, prepared to let the fight go in favor of making sure she was okay, but the little whimpers and shaky breaths cut off abruptly, and she didn't say anything else.

She kept you at arms length for the rest of the night, only speaking when she asked you to come to bed, an olive branch she was extending. You did, but you both kept to your own sides of the bed. You didn't sleep well that night.

Alexia hugged you goodbye the next day at the airport, and you thought she held you a bit tighter than normal. She handed you a little note, requested that you read it on the plane, and softly kissed your cheek, before allowing you to go through security.

The note had been a lengthy apology, scrawled in her familiar loopy, messy handwriting, confirming that everything you thought was going on with her was correct. She was stressed, she didn't want you to worry, or change your plans for her. She shouldn't have yelled, or been so cruel, and she hadn't meant it. She loved you. So much, she said. Things would be better after her surgery.

You'd thanked her for her apology once you'd landed. You'd spoken, often, since then, but there was still so much tension. You were both busy with family, and there wasn't really any time to have an in depth conversation about what had transpired.

You knew the surgery had gone well, they'd fixed the problem, and that Alexia was doing much better. The second part wasn't something that she had to tell you, it was obvious in the increase in texts, and the mushiness that she included. Whenever she went through a hard time, she closed herself off, and when it ended, she'd always overcompensate, feeling guilty, until she went back to normal. That was Alexia, and you loved her.

-----

The biggest casualty of this fight was, unfortunately, your sleep. You struggled while you were home, when normally, you slept fine there. Obviously not as well as when you were with Alexia, but fine. This time, though, you barely slept. Nothing worked, and the only time you were able to sleep was when your body literally shut down, forcing you to sleep for a few hours every other day or so. You were sure it was because of this unresolved fight, and you knew that once you physically saw your girlfriend, you'd be fine. Especially once you could go back to falling asleep on her chest, the steady beat of her heart making you feel warm, and safe, and comfortable.

This was why you'd cut your trip short, and were currently touching down in Spain, a full 5 days before you were supposed to return home. That, and you missed Alexia. You knew she was slightly confused; you'd been weirdly distant while you'd been gone, because you were exhausted, but she didn't know that. She assumed you were mad, until you told her you were coming home early. After that, she gave up trying to figure out what was going on with you, and focused herself on cleaning the apartment, going grocery shopping for all your favorite things, and buying you flowers. She'd been awful, she knew it, and she was determined to make it up to you.

-----

Alexia was waiting for you by baggage claim; you saw her once you got halfway down the escalator. She was leaned against the wall, baseball cap sat over her blonde hair. She was wearing an old England sweatshirt of yours, and you couldn't help the grin that your lips lifted into at the sight. Your beautiful, perfect, girlfriend, head on an absolute swivel, determined not to miss you.

You saw the moment she she saw you, too, her lips turning up at the corners, shifting her weight from foot to foot as if she could barely contain herself from running to you, which she wasn't yet supposed to do. You got down the escalator and over to her in probably an embarrassingly short amount of time, taking care not to put too much of your weight on her, minding her healing knee.

"Amor," she sighed into your hair, arms holding you almost painfully tight.

"Hi, beautiful," you said back, words almost swallowed by her [your] sweatshirt, and the noisy crowds around you.

"Te extrañé mucho de menos," Alexia murmured, pulling back from the hug to pull you in for a kiss. She froze, however, eyebrows scrunching adorably, as she finally got a good look at your face. You knew what she was looking at. "Are you sick?" She asked, feeling your forehead with the back of her hand.

"No, not sick. Just a little tired."

She looked at you skeptically, hand unmoving from your forehead until you pushed it away and leaned up, pursing your lips expectantly. She smiled, finally meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. She pulled away much to soon in your opinion, laughing at your disgruntled expression.

"You need sleep, amor. We can go home and you can rest. Once you sleep, I will give you all the kisses you want, okay?"

"Fineeee," you sighed, allowing Alexia to take your hand, and lead you off to find your bag. She insisted on wheeling it out to the car, even though she was actively recovering from surgery, but she seemed determined to spoil you today.

You sat in content silence in the car, your girlfriend's hand intertwined with yours. You felt that you should have been sleepy, but you were completely wired, eyes open wide, tapping your knee repetitively.

"Do you want to tell me what is going on?" Alexia asked finally, about 10 minutes into the drive. She glanced at you out of the corner of her eye, spotting the way you went rigid at her question.

"What do you mean?"

"Amor, come on. You look like you have not slept in days." Your only response is a shrug, as you turn your attention out the window.

"Hey. Why did you not sleep?" Alexia insisted, pulling on your hand to get you to pay attention to her.

"I missed you." You replied finally, feeling Alexia's hand tighten around yours.

"I missed you too. That is why you did not sleep well?"

"I... I never used to sleep very well. Until I started sleeping next to you, and then I slept fine. I normally don't have problems sleeping when I go home, though, but this time... I think I was just stressed about our argument."

"I did not know that." Alexia said quietly. "You never told me."

"I know, I know. It just didn't seem like a big deal, because it wasn't, once I was with you."

Your girlfriend looked like she had a million questions, but she didn't ask them. "I am so sorry our fight made you lose sleep. I was completely unfair to you. You do not need to worry about anything now, though, okay? I made your favorite for dinner, if you are hungry. If not, we can just go right to bed. I am yours for the rest of break, whatever you need."

"Really?"

"Really."

-----

You ate the delicious dinner Alexia had cooked, and then took a warm shower. When you got out, you noticed that Alexia had completely unpacked for you, and laid out your favorite pajamas. She was already in the bed, despite it barely being 7pm, looking adorably cozy in a big sweatshirt, the hood tugged up over her head.

"Ale, we don't need to go to sleep now, it's early, you're probably not tired." You said as you pulled the pajamas on. The exhaustion was starting to hit you, and you wanted to promise that you could stay up until a normal time, but you weren't sure you could.

"A bit tired. Whether I fall asleep or not, I want to be right here. Anyway, I should put my knee up." Alexia said dismissively, patting the bed next to her.

"Ale," you began but she shook her head.

"No arguments, bebita. Get in bed." You sighed dramatically, but did as she asked, climbing under the covers and scooting right over to Alexia, as though she was a magnet. You settled against her, shutting your eyes. You heard the lamp flick off, and felt Alexia wrap an arm around you, tugging you into her side.

You tried to fall asleep. Really, you had no idea why you couldn't. You were here, with Alexia, and you should have been able to sleep, easily, especially considering how tired you were. You couldn't manage it though, quickly getting annoyed when your brain wouldn't just turn off.

After the 6th time you shifted positions, Alexia kissed the side of your head, and spoke. "Having a hard time?"

"Yes," you mumbled, burying your face in her chest.

"Be patient. You are exhausted, you will fall asleep soon. Just relax." Alexia encouraged, rubbing a hand up and down your back.

Another 10 minutes passed, in which you felt no closer to sleep. Rolling off of Alexia with a huff, you glared up at the ceiling. Next to you, Alexia rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow to gaze down at you.

"You are putting too much pressure on yourself. It is just sleeping, bonita." She said quietly, running a soft finger over your cheek.

Tears of frustration beginning to pool in your eyes. It was just sleeping. It should be easy. You were just realizing for the first time how incredibly tired you were, and how difficult the past couple days had been.

"Do not cry, por favor," Alexia pleaded.

"I can't, I can't fall asleep." Alexia looked at you sympathetically, thumbs wiping away the tears that fell. She sat both of you up after a minute. "Take off your shirt," she instructed, pulling her own over her head, leaving her with only a sports bra on.

"I'm too tired for sex," you cried, the thought only making you more upset; you had missed your girlfriend. A lot. The fact that you were too tired to do anything about it was painful.

"Not sex, amor, just take your shirt off." Alexia insisted, pulling at the hem. You did as she asked, looking rather miserable. You, too, were left in only your bra, but Alexia's eyes were only on yours as she laid back down, rolling onto her side and pulling you in so your head was pressed right over her bare chest, where her heart was.

Your body relaxed without you telling it to, the feeling of Alexia, and only Alexia, engulfing you. Your skin was pressed to hers, inhaling the soft scent of her perfume, feeling her hands rub rhythmically up and down your bare back.

"There you go," she said into your hair, feeling your body sag against hers. "Sleep for me, okay?" She asked.

You couldn't have told her no if you wanted to. Your eyes shut almost immediately, and you felt suddenly so peaceful, brain slowing down until you were only thinking about how good your girlfriend felt against you.

-----

When you woke up, you knew you'd been asleep for a while, if the amount of light flooding the room was any indication. It was bright, even with your eyes shut, which indicated that it was past noon; the sun only came in through the bedroom window after noon. Your body felt stiff but, for the first time in a while, you felt well rested. You were content to wake up slowly, enjoy the comfort of your bed

You attempted to roll over, searching for Alexia's side of the bed so you could use her pillow, (you swore it was comfier). Instead, you rolled right into Alexia herself, and heard her let out a soft laugh. You cracked your eyes open, finding Alexia laying on her back, arm still tucked around your shoulders. Her fingers flitted through your hair, and you relaxed back into her, scooting closer until your head was crammed into the crook of her neck.

"Why are you still in bed?" You mumbled into her. Her body vibrated under yours as she laughed again.

"Are you complaining?" She teased, clearly referencing the way you'd moved yourself so that every part of your body possible was be touching hers.

"No. It has to be late, though. You've been sleeping fine, you didn't have to stay in bed with me." You told her.

"I always sleep better with you, amor. I wanted you to rest, as much as you needed. You are cute when you sleep, anyway. Your nose scrunches up and you make little sounds when you roll around." Alexia murmured into your hair, and you didn't have to see her face to know she was blushing at the information she'd just revealed.

You left a kiss on her neck, before pulling away so you could see her face. "What time is it?"

Alexia didn't say anything, a slightly guilty expression on her face.

"Alexia Putellas, what time is it?" You demanded.

"3PM." She told you quietly.

"3PM?" You shouted, sitting upright in the bed. Sure enough, the clock on the nightstand reflected the time back to you. You'd slept the whole day away. Two of you didn't have any plans, but still.

"How much did you sleep while you were gone? Really, amor? The least I could do was help you rest." Alexia avoided your eyes.

"What do you mean the least you could do?" You asked, softening your tone.

"I was so horrible to you before you left. And then our fight made you not sleep well," the blonde explained, looking miserable.

"And you apologized, Ale. You were under a lot of stress, I get it." You really weren't mad anymore.

"No, that is not good enough. I have to make it up to you. I wanted you here with me, more than anything, but you have already done so much, and I did not want to ruin your Christmas." Alexia insisted, getting seemingly worked up.

"Alexia, I understand. You said all of this in your note."

"I want to say it again." Alexia said stubbornly, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Look at me." You instructed, turning face towards you with a hand on her cheek when she refused. Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears. "Amor, I forgive you. I told you I forgave you, when I read your letter. Do you not believe me?" You wondered, as your girlfriend didn't look the least bit relieved at you letting her off the hook.

"I believe you, it is just that...no se como decirlo." She sighed.

"Try, please. We've fought before, Alexia, worse than this. What is it about this one that is making you so upset?" You pressed, not relenting even as she shrugged in response.

"I do not want to lose you," Alexia whispered finally, a single tear sliding down her face, as she clenched her jaw, trying to keep together.

"Baby, you are not going to lose me." You promised, moving closer to take her hand in yours. "I knew you didn't mean what you said. You apologized, Alexia, it was just a stupid fight. We got past it, just like we'll get past every fight. Always."

"But what if I push you away again? And you get tired of it, and leave?"

"You could never push me away. I might give you space when you need it, but I will always be here for you. Even when you try to pretend you don't need me. I could never get tired of you, Alexia, and I could never leave you. Ever." You said the words slowly, trying to gauge if she believed you or not.

Although she looked slightly unsure, she did look less upset than she had a minute ago, her face relaxing somewhat as she finally look into your eyes.

"You're stuck me with, Ale. For as long as you want me." Alexia let out a wet laugh.

"I will always want you." She said, pulling you in closer to press her lips to yours. The kiss grew heated quickly, until you were straddling her lap, checking multiple times that her knee was unbothered by the position. She promised that it was fine, distracting you by sliding her hands up your sides, and pulling you back in for another messy kiss.

"Alexia, that is not exactly what I meant," you joked, pulling away briefly as she pulled your bra over your head.

"Me neither, but it has been days, and I have missed you. Let me show you how much I have missed you. Please?" Alexia asked, surprisingly shy as she ran her hand up and down your abdomen, teasing at the hem of your shorts.

You leaned in, you agreement clear in the way your lips met hers, tongue slipping in after a minute. As if you'd ever say no to that offer. You don't think you'd ever say no to anything Alexia asked you. Your love for her was the kind that transcended every issue that could possibly come up. It was you and her, forever.

-----

inspired by my inability to sleep <3 [and my deep belief that sleeping next to a pretty girl would solve all my problems]

[haetrack]

hi!! can i request for smut jaem who lets you borrow his computer while he's still in his room. and he watches you from the back of his gaming chair and slowly becomes touchy (like hugging your neck and caressing your body slowly until he fingers you while still sitting on his chair) oh! and you guys can't be too loud because members are at the kitchen. hehe thanks omg

req 2: bf!jaemin x f!reader (ft. roommates haechan and jeno)

wc: 2.8k

warnings: smut (MDNI!), jealousy, dirty talk, fingering, light exhibition and voyeurism, one bite on the neck, light gagging, soft dom!jaemin, sub!reader, accidental roommate haechan favoritism (im sorry)

it’s rare that you go to jaemin’s apartment. in a mutual, undiscussed understanding at some point, you both decided that it’s better that you go to your apartment over jaemin’s. he’s wary of his roommates being in your presence. he tries making small excuses, he hasn’t cleaned, he has class, even takes you out to eat before you can step foot in his apartment.

he’s seen the way that his roommates look at you. he swears he’s not a jealous person, but he can’t really help it when it comes to you. it’s when he sees haechan cuddle up to your side, sees jeno try to carry your stuff when you come in. he feels bad for lying to you, but it’s better than constantly seeing them flirt with you.

he realizes you coming over might be unavoidable tomorrow. you called him nearly crying, saying how your laptop wasn’t turning on while having multiple assignments due. he couldn’t just let you cry, not while knowing that he has a solution for you in his room. he stares at his computer, looming over the consequences of letting you come over. he’d rather see you pass your classes, more importantly, be happy.

he tells you that you can come over tomorrow to finish whatever you need. you happily tell him thank you, how he’s the best boyfriend in the world. he laughs airly in the mic, saying he’d do anything for his angel. at the end of the call, before you say goodnight, he hears you say can’t wait to see everyone tomorrow. he grits his teeth, giving the nicest response he can to that. you laugh, telling him goodnight. before he turns off his phone though,

jaemin: don’t forget to ask for extensions for your assignments ❤️

you: aaaa i forgot!!! thank u baby 🫶

the dreaded day comes. he decides to pick you up after your class so you can get started on your work right away. he coos, hands cupping your face as he comforts you from the call last night. you grin at him, grabbing one of his hands to place a kiss on it. he has to forcibly stop himself from pressing kisses all over your face, deciding to grab you by the waist and walk you to his car. it all feels normal, and jaemin almost drives to your apartment instead of his.

he tries not to frown too hard when you both arrive, taking a deep breath before opening the door. he knows everyone is in the apartment (because who likes having classes on fridays), so he can’t even move you to his room safely. he opens the door to find jeno and haechan seated on the couch together, immediately taking note of you.

“it’s been so long since i’ve seen you here!” haechan starts, and before he can hug you, jaemin moves to give you a back hug. haechan scoffs, “it’s almost like your boyfriend has been hiding you from us, huh?”

you tease him for his dramatics, “i would be coming over if you guys weren’t so busy all the time! every time i want to come over, jaemin says you’re too busy.”

“i wonder why he’d say that,” jeno snides, “i like seeing you around here.”

“i like seeing my boyfriend’s friends, too! he’s gatekeeping you guys a little too hard.” jaemin dryly laughs at your joke before pulling your backpack off your shoulders and onto his. he sees jeno looking at him before chuckling at the sight, knowing exactly why he was doing that.

“well, my baby has a lot of work to do, so we better get going to my room…” jaemin says, trying to get you out of there before anything else happens.

haechan raises his eyebrows as you leave, “see you soon, angel.”

jaemin turns to give them the middle finger before he shuts the door.

you sit yourself at his desk. despite your lack of visits to his apartment, you feel familiar in his space. he turns on everything for you, sad that his baby has to do all this work when you’re at his place. you thank him once again, pressing a kiss to the side of his cheek. “anything you need, i’ll get it for you.”

“actually! can you refill my bottle for me,” you grab it out of the side pocket, “forgot to fill it up before we left campus.”

“of course. be right back.” he grins. he kisses you as if he won’t be back in two minutes or less. you let out an appreciative sigh, quietly thanking him once again as you ignore the heat on your face.  

jaemin slowly makes his way out of the room, tries not to bring any distractions to you and your work time. he tiptoes in the hallway, kitchen close to his room. he can hear both haechan and jeno’s voices in the middle of a conversation, and he can’t help but listen in. when he hears one slip of your name, he barges in, cutting off their talking immediately.

“you should’ve told us we’d be having a guest today,” haechan slinks next to jaemin, eyes playfully challenging him, “we all could’ve watched something together.”

“you didn’t even let me grab her backpack,” jeno sulks, “i could’ve done that myself.”

“well, those aren’t really your jobs, are they? guess who’s her boyfriend and guess who are not.” jaemin closes the refrigerator, pouring in the filtered water you so nicely asked for.

haechan raises his hands in defense, “i’m just saying, if you bring someone so pretty over, i can’t help but look.”

jeno nods in agreement, “if i were you, i’d be showing her off at any chance i could get.”

jaemin loudly disagrees, “this is how i can tell you’ve been single for too long! you just don’t get it.”

haechan whines, “maybe you could do us a favor and help our sad, lonely sex lives with the help of your-”

jaemin cuts him off, “nope.” before haechan can say anything else, jaemin walks away, and haechan is earned with a second middle finger of the day.

jaemin never feels like this.

he can feel how jealous he is in the pit of his stomach. it’s only you two in the room, you at his desk, and him laying uncomfortably in his bed. though the brightness of his phone screen is glaring back at him, he’s more focused on the sight of you at his desk. he’s not sure you’re aware of haechan and jeno’s feelings towards you, but he’s trying everything to stop them.

he knows they aren’t being serious. haechan is constantly joking about everything, and jeno’s just… like that. though he could never blame you for anything, you’ve never let anyone else have your undivided attention but him. he knows you love him, but he can’t shake this feeling off. he needs a little reassurance right now and he’ll try not to bother you too much.

it all goes wrong when he stands behind you in his gaming chair. you look so good right now, in his room, in his chair. once you feel his presence behind you, you look up and smile. his face mirrors yours, and he plants a sweet kiss to your lips, “keep going, pretty, just wanna watch you for a bit.”

you nod, getting back to your work. his eyes are stuck on your every movement, watching you type, how you shake your leg, how you bite your lip in concentration. you look so pretty like this, not knowing how a familiar feeling sets to the bottom of jaemin’s stomach, eyes becoming hooded at the sight of you. after hard contemplation, he lets his hands settle on top of your shoulders.

he can tell you’re smiling, head nuzzling up against his arm. his bends over to place his head on your shoulder, hands moving to slip up and down your sides. he can feel how warm your face is, the close proximity making you nervous. his hands move a little lower to your hips, grabbing at the skin there. he hums appreciatively, liking how soft you feel under his touch. he can feel you slightly squirm around, trying not to let his touches distract you.

you can feel his warm breath on your shoulder, sending chills down your spine. what’s unexpected is how you feel his tongue swipe across your skin before leaving a wet kiss there. you shudder, and you can feel his sickly-sweet smile against your skin. you whine out his name, and he shushes you, pressing more kisses onto your skin.

you can feel yourself getting lost in him, your eyes skipping over the words in an article you’re reading, mind becoming hazy. your head lolls to the side, giving him more access to your neck. he licks up from the junction of your neck up to your jaw, his hands warming themselves up by your thighs. his hands come close to your core, before he removes them completely by putting them under the shirt you’re wearing.

“jaemin, please.” you’re not really sure what you're asking for, but when you feel his hands by the cup of your bra, you can’t help the pleads coming out of your mouth.

“tell me what you want, pretty. need to know what my angel wants so i can give it to her,” he hums out, fingers messing with the fabric of your bra.

“just-” your breath hitches when he bites down on your neck before leaving a small kiss, “need you, jaemin. wanna feel you in me, just please give me more.”

“all you had to do was ask, angel.” his hands push up your bra over your boobs, groping around them, pinching at your nipples. you whisper out a kiss me, and he just can’t say no to his baby, reaching over further to kiss you. your work is left neglected, the only things mattering right now is your boyfriend and the ache between your thighs. he can see how needy you are, how your moans slip in his mouth, how you push your chest into his hands. 

one hand leaves your chest to slip under your pants and underwear, meeting with your wet folds, “so wet, baby, dripping all over with just a few touches.”

“just for you, jaemin. please, need your fingers.”

and who is he to say no to you? his fingers tease your entrance, a loud whimper slipping out of your mouth. jaemin remembers that you both aren’t alone, hearing the light shuffling throughout the apartment. he removes his other hand from your chest, pressing it over your mouth to cover up your sounds, “can’t be too loud, pretty. those sounds are only for me to hear.”

one finger slips inside of you, a muffled moan covered up by his hand. you can hear him lowly chuckle at you, happy with the results. with being teased too much before, you clench around his fingers, signaling to him that you need more. he obliges, of course, another finger moving inside of you. he curls them in you, feeling for that sweet spot inside you. once he finds it, he feels you moan, feels how drool is already slipping past your lips.

he can feel how hard he’s straining against his sweats, but too enamored by you to do anything about it. plus, he’d rather fuck you without having haechan or jeno around. they don't deserve to hear you like that at all. his breath is getting heavy, he needs to see how he’s affecting you, needs to see his pretty angel’s face.

he pulls his chair back, allowing himself to kneel on the floor in front of you. it’s not until now you can see just how affected your boyfriend is by this. his cheeks are pink, lips swollen from the kissing and biting, your boyfriend on his knees just for you. he has a lazy smile on his face, eyes full of love for his angel. he presses kisses along your thighs, your legs slowly opening up from him to see. 

his hand is no longer covered over your mouth, tsking at the sight of your pleading eyes. “trust you to not make so much noise. don’t want everyone else to hear how good i make you feel, hmm?”

you quickly nod, jaemin reaching up to press a soft kiss to your lips. even now, at times where he has you like this, he manages to be so sweet. it only turns you on more. he spreads your legs further apart, looking at how wet and needy your pussy is for him, begging for his help. he presses a kiss to your clit, your thighs closing around his head. he lets out a genuine laugh before he playfully scolds you, telling you to behave.

his fingers move to your aching core, once again slipping his fingers in. you clench tightly around them, your hips rolling in time with him. his thumb hooks up to rub your clit, your thighs almost closing around his hand. he moves to force your legs open, pressing quick kisses along the insides of your thighs. “my angel is always so sensitive, love it so much.” 

you’re biting down onto your bottom lip, whimpers threatening to come out. he’s so content with just watching you fall apart, his head resting on your thigh, eyes roaming all over your body. you aren’t sure what exactly riled him up, but it doesn’t matter when he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing that exists. you can’t stop the little sobs that escape you as you feel yourself unraveling.

he can see tears forming in your eyes, the pleasure being almost too much for you. he can feel you shaking under his hold, feels how you’re dripping all over his hand. he sees your composure slip as he adds one more finger, a sharp whimper of his name leaving your lips. he watches in morbid curiosity as you grab his free hand and move it up to your mouth, gagging yourself with his fingers.

he nearly cums in his pants at the sight of you overcome by pleasure, the feel of your tongue slipping between his fingers. you wanted to be so good for him to the point of where you wanted to be gagged, wanting to please him more than anything. he doesn’t care anymore, doesn’t care if haechan or jeno can hear you, doesn’t care about his throbbing cock spilling precum in his boxers. he’s so infatuated with you.

he’s pulled out of his daze when he hears footsteps of someone walking towards the rooms. you moan out to him that you’re close, can hear how sopping wet you are and how you’re clenching tightly around his fingers. your muffled voice comes out, “p-please, jaemin. please! i wan’ cum so bad. wanna cum all over your fingers!”

“yeah? my angel wants to cum?” he asks, hearing how the footsteps stop in front of his door. “cum all over my fingers, show me how much you love me. only me.” 

you moan loudly as he lets his fingers slip out of your mouth, moving his now wet fingers to your boob to help you cum. your chest arches forward and your hips grind down, nearly screaming as you cum all over his fingers. he helps you ride it out, praises you for being so good for him, being his sweet angel. 

he hears the footsteps quickly walk away from his door, smiling to himself at the thought of someone hearing the both of you. he sees tears slip out of your eyes, he moves up to kiss your cheeks, whispering to you about how much he loves you. you nod, eyebrows furrowed and mouth unable to say anything just yet. he sits back down to let you catch your breath, one hand soothing over the soft skin of your thigh.

he sees you slowly come back to him, sees the tired smile you give to him. “let’s move to the bed, angel. wanna cuddle with you.”

you hum in agreement, and he drags you over, letting you lay down comfortably onto his bed. he joins you, presses kisses all over where he can reach. “you did so good for me. i love you so much.”

“i love you too, jaem.”

he feels your breaths get deeper, letting yourself fall asleep happily against him, all work and stress forgotten. jaemin almost falls asleep too, not until he feels how his phone begins buzzing.

haechan: god DAMN

haechan: did u guys have to do that NOW???

jeno: do what

jeno: DO WHAT!!!!!!!

haechan: THEY BOTH FUCKED AND I HAD TO HEARRRR

jaemin: literally no one told you to listen in

jaemin: and we didnt even have sex youre delusional

haechan: well u know

jaemin: dont even finish what youre going to say

jaemin: hopefully now you know who my angel loves most ❤️

haechan: who said that

jeno: i suddenly cant read

jaemin: 🖕

a/n: thank u for the request 🫶 literally loved writing this jaemin we all love u. my first jaemin post i’m kinda nervous… i hope u nanadoongies enjoy muah muah

taglist: @vqlentinez @froggyforyoongi

[inthebitterwatchesofthenight]

Five and Lila (nonromantic) subway headcanons

Like everyone I really hated the Five x Lila storyline and the butchered potential of their almost-sibling relationship development.

But one thing that really ticked me, and that I haven't really read about yet, is: that timeskip montage looks like 3 weeks, maybe 2 months at best, not SIX FUCKING YEARS. In six years, people visibly age, especially under duress, if, for example, the only thing they can eat is rats?? (I'm not even talking about how they managed to keep roughly the same clothes and haircuts for six years without any explanation, or how they miraculously cleaned up before going back to Diego and Lila's precisely at the right point in time...) In six years alone with another person, you would probably struggle keeping your sanity, and the end result for each of them would probably look something like early stages of Apocalypse S1 Five. In six years alone with another person, even with prior attraction (which would already be ooc for both of them but whatever let's just grant them that for the sake of the argument), you would end up HATING each other all the way through your codependent relationship. I could see them having sex after six months (still following those creepy-ass ooc assumptions), but I could certainly NOT see them kissing softly and romantically wine-dining after SIX YEARS (the time those goddamn showrunners told us it took for passion to die down in a perfect marriage?? How about helltrap subway then??)

So after that really long preamble, here are my headcanons for what that subway section should really have looked like:

No Five x Lila, obviously

They bicker all the time; this escalates into outright fights. At some point, Lila storms off somewhere and they lose each other for five months.

When they realise they're not going home anytime soon, Five finds a timeline with a Dolores (other than the original one) and steals her away, because he's going to need her to cope through this. (Of course, he needs to apologize to her for being gone this long.)

At first, Lila thinks that Five is nuts for talking to Dolores, but in a matter of days she understands the urge and Dolores becomes her best friend. Five and Lila fight over Dolores's approval all. the. time.

Lila collects little trinkets to bring home to Grace and the twins (like the plushies in New Grumpson). After two years the gift bag has got way too big and Five helps her sort out the ones she really wants to keep; she bawls her eyes out and they arrange the throwaway gifts neatly on a bench, just in case they can come back and get them.

They find some really weird and fun timelines. Don't care what, they just do. Lila almost gets killed trying to bring home a souvenir.

Five and Lila find Max's Delicatessen together. By the way, there's a few Lilas there, ones that also met Fives. Lila can vent about her relationship trouble Diego with another Lila who has also married a Diego. But the other Diego is dead, and Lila realizes just how much she wants to get home before that happens.

This is a bit irrelevant, but that Five deli paradox psychosis plothole is explained by a random artefact created by Commission Five (like in his room in S3 I think?).

Five and Lila wait a short while in the deli to make a plan about the apocalypse. Another Five arrives, finds out about the marigold, and says out loud that the solution would be to erase all Hargreeves siblings from existence. A few seconds of silence, and then all the other Fives slaughter him because what kind of Five would to this to their family???? This is also one of the purposes of the deli, by the way. To make sure no Five comes out of the subway with delirious, dangerous ideas about harming their siblings.

Five and Lila realise that if Viktor can take away the marigold from people like Harlan, then he can take it away from his siblings. And what about Viktor himself? Well, Lila can mimic his powers and they can take away each other's marigold at the same time, and lose their powers just as they're done. Darn, why didn't they think of this sooner?

Lila tries to relook Five. After four or five years, he gives in, sees the end result and immediately finds a timeline with a suit to steal so as to fix this freakish mistake. He wears a hat for a while to try and hide his undercut hair.

Lila sings a lot. Five lets her, and just mumbles about her lousy tastes in music to Dolores.

Lila adopts a monstrous pet (three-headed cat? Giant bee?) for a few stops, and it mysteriously disappears at some point. Major fight ensues. Maybe this is why she leaves for a while.

In another timeline, they briefly meet a version of Diego that's not dead yet. He tries to kill them, Lila tells him that he's a great dad, he's weirded out and runs away.

Five picks up littered newspaper to see if there's anything interesting. He becomes a crossword addict. He moves to a new special interest puzzle game every few months.

After a fight, Five's big making-up strategy is to sit down next to Lila and start talking shit about the Handler. It kinda works.

I'm gonna stop here, this is already way too long. Please share your own headcanons if you have any!

[babyleostuff]

I've got to feed my delusional ass, so as someone who is a huge nerd i was wondering if you do seventeen hcs to their Friend / S/O / Crush being an actor and playing a phenomenal iconic TV pop culture character? . i have always been dying to get Idol! Seventeen X Actress reader

seventeen x actress!reader | ot13

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL 

𓆩♡𓆪 he would be a loud and proud supporter - even if the topic of conversation wasn't in any way related to you or even cinema, Cheol would find a way to mention your latest role (he would also probably pull out his phone, and show a bunch of “behind the scenes” photos)

𓆩♡𓆪 he would be the type to fly out to whatever location you were currently shooting at, and surprise you with a bunch of flowers and his Choi Seungcheol™ dimple smile

𓆩♡𓆪 i don’t want to be that person, but i think he would get a bit jealous, and he wouldn’t like watching the kissing scenes - not because he is possessive or anything, he is so happy you get to do what you love, but sometimes he could get slightly insecure of the bond you have with your male co-stars, especially because you spend so much time with them 

𓆩♡𓆪 so he will close his eyes during a kissing scene, but the best solution to cheer him up again is just to give him a couple of (or more) kisses, and he’ll be all smiley and happy again

YOON JEONGHAN 

𓆩♡𓆪 the silent supporter - he wouldn’t start talking about you out of the blue like Cheol, but whenever a trailer of your newest movie would be shown at  the movies, he’d sit there all proud thinking “that’s right, that’s my incredible girlfriend”

𓆩♡𓆪 and he would always bring you to your favourite restaurant when you’d finish shooting, one - to catch up on the time you missed out on, second - to remind you how proud he is of you 

𓆩♡𓆪 Hannie would love to listen to all of the stories you’d share from the set, as well as the photos and videos, and he’d sit through the whole night listening to you, because he knew how happy it made you to talk about your work 

𓆩♡𓆪 he would also keep every ticket from all of your movies when he went to the cinema to see them, probably keeping them in a little box somewhere where you wouldn’t find it 

HONG JOSHUA 

𓆩♡𓆪 i feel like Joshua would be very similar to Jeonghan - the most important thing for him would be for you to know how proud he was of you, he wouldn’t have the need to express it to the whole universe, because people already knew how great of an actress you were 

𓆩♡𓆪 he’d be quite quiet while watching your movies, but you knew it was because he didn’t want to miss even a second of it, especially if it was your scene 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d gladly listen to all of your small comments throughout the movie - how you shot that specific scene, or how much you messed up your lines in that specific moment 

𓆩♡𓆪 Joshua would look at you with this smitten gaze, unable to resist the warm feeling when he looked at you all excited and happy 

𓆩♡𓆪 by the end of the movie he’d have a whole paragraph of compliments ready, and he’d make it corny on purpose - to make you both a bit shy, but also to make you laugh  

WEN JUNHUI 

𓆩♡𓆪 as a fellow actor, he’d help you figure out your lines and scenes, he’d practise with you - even if it took the whole night 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d be the first person in the line at the movies, with a set of popcorn and drinks, because Jun would be that excited to see your movie 

𓆩♡𓆪 after, he’d send you tons of messages saying how good the movie was, and how good of a job you did, and after writing a whole paragraph of how proud he was of you, he’d call you right away, basically saying all of the things he already wrote 

𓆩♡𓆪 also, the moment it’d come out on streaming platforms he’d watch it with you, gushing the whole time how you crushed that role and how good you looked 

KWON SOONYOUNG 

𓆩♡𓆪 he would be so excited over you being an actress, like - you get to shoot at all of these cool locations, in front of a green screen, and they can make you into a superhero? he’d beg you to tell how all of the movie magic happens, and sometimes you’d find him going through your camera roll to look at the photos from set 

𓆩♡𓆪 you can be sure he’d watch your movies multiple times, he’d buy the DVDs and bring them with him on tour (even though most of them could be found online, he’d still buy them)

𓆩♡𓆪 one time, he even proposed that there should be photocards in the DVDs so he could collect yours 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d make the boys watch them with him, even if he’d have to drag Mingyu to the couch, he would fight him just so he would watch the damn movie 

LEE JIHOON 

𓆩♡𓆪 same as Jeonghan and Joshua - he’d be tremendously proud and supportive of you, but in a silent way 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d keep the DVDs and Blu-rays in his studio, neatly keeping them on a shelf, with your framed photo as well 

𓆩♡𓆪 if he ever had a bad day, couldn’t figure out a beat, or finish writing lyrics, Jihoon would pick out his favourite movie of yours and play it, so he could take his mind off of the work 

𓆩♡𓆪 i believe he said he isn’t a big movie watcher, as he doesn’t really have time for that, but  he’d always make time for watching your movies, every single one of them (even if you’d tell him that it was alright if he didn’t want to or was too tired, he’d take you the movies himself)

JEON WONWOO

𓆩♡𓆪 artsy boy ⅓ - he would love to talk about the technicalities of the movie, like the camerawork, the cinematography, or the CGI - you could literally spend hours after the movie talking about it 

 𓆩♡𓆪 he would ask you a lot of questions about different shorts, and how they were filmed

𓆩♡𓆪 i feel like he would be too shy to verbally compliment you, because there are no words in the dictionary that could express how proud he was of you, and how great of a job you were doing 

𓆩♡𓆪 but you’d know how supportive he was of you - if he wasn’t, would he be the one insisting on seeing every single one of your movies the moment they premiered? 

𓆩♡𓆪 and on the way home, Wonwoo would have your hand in his, and not let go of it even for a second, looking at you with so much love and adoration, that you’d practically melt under his gaze

LEE SEOKMIN 

𓆩♡𓆪 you’d have a movie marathon once a month where Seokmin would choose a couple of your movies to watch (even if you wouldn’t want to, he’d give you his puppy eyes and you wouldn’t have any other choice)

𓆩♡𓆪 and he would make you say your lines out loud - for some reason it always made him so happy, and you’d always do that because it made him so excited 

𓆩♡𓆪 if he was busy because of work, and didn’t get to watch your movie right away, he’d send you tons of messages apologising that he wouldn’t be able to watch it (and you’d always reassure him that it was fine, of course)

𓆩♡𓆪 but the moment he’d get some time off, he’d make a whole date out of it - first bringing you to your favourite restaurant, then going to the movies, and finishing the day with watching the sunset 

𓆩♡𓆪 it would be his way of apologising, and making up for the time you had to spend apart, and to be honest, you preferred it that way, because it always ended being one of your favourite dates 

KIM MINGYU 

𓆩♡𓆪 artsy boy ⅔ - this man would have like those countdown widgets on his phone, to keep track for when your next movie would come out, and he would drag you to the cinema himself to watch it with you 

𓆩♡𓆪 same as Wonwoo, would talk about the cinematography, and gush about the amazing shots and scenery, to the point where you’d have to remind him that “hey, i was in that movie as well!” 

𓆩♡𓆪 but he’d do that just to tease you - you always  got so pouty and cute when he “forgot” to praise you too, and he would make that up by clinging to you when you got home, and list all of the things he loved about you in that movie 

𓆩♡𓆪 another one that might get a bit jealous when it comes to kissing, and all of that intimate stuff, so it’d be his turn to be pouty and whiny 

𓆩♡𓆪 but he’d quickly realise how stupid that was - you’re literally using him as a human blanket, cuddled in his bed, if anything they should be jealous of Mingyu for having you all to himself 

XU MINGHAO 

𓆩♡𓆪 artsy boy  ³ ⁄ ³ - again, same as Wonwoo, and Mingyu - he’d love to talk about all of the technicalities, camerawork, and would love to see all of the photos from the set and your shooting locations

𓆩♡𓆪 he’d also be the type to surprise you on set, totally out of nowhere (he’d probably write you how busy he was, and that he wouldn’t be able to come and see you, and the pop out out of nowhere)

𓆩♡𓆪 and if you’d be watching it together at the cinema, he’d hold your hand through the whole movie, and squeeze it from time to time

𓆩♡𓆪 if it was more of a, how to say it, psychological? movie - Hao would love to talk about it, i mean you’d probably sit through the whole night cuddled under the duvets in your bed, trying to understand the ending, or pondering on all of the small confusing parts of the movie 

𓆩♡𓆪 and there would be no jealousy there, Mingaho is a very secure and confident person, especially when it comes to your relationship 

BOO SEUNGKWAN

𓆩♡𓆪 Boo would love to go over the scrip with you, helping you with the lines, and acting out different scenes with you, i can imagine how much fun that would be 

𓆩♡𓆪 and if he’d got the chance to visit you on set, he’d look at you with wide heart eyes, adoring everything you’d do, even if you’d be doing a simple dialogue scene, he’d be all smiley 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he would be so happy seeing you happy, doing what you love, and having fun on set - no matter how many kissing scene you’d have to shoot, he’d still be 100% supportive

𓆩♡𓆪 and everyone on set would love him too, i mean, how can you not love this man? 

𓆩♡𓆪 Seungkwan would keep all of the tickets, posters, and flyers from your movies, he’d frame some of them, or hang them on the wall in his room 

CHWE VERNON

𓆩♡𓆪 oh my god, my favourite movie bro - Vernon would eat every single one of your movies up! Like, he loves watching movies, and if you’re in one too??? Automatically 10/10 

𓆩♡𓆪 he’d love to hear all of the stories from set, and he’d be the one nagging you to send more pictures from the location you were currently shooting at 

𓆩♡𓆪 and because you knew you big of a fan and a movie geek he was, you’d always make sure to get him an invitation to your every movie premiere 

𓆩♡𓆪 this man would fanboy so much when he’d meet your co-stars, or the directors, like that would be a dream come true for him 

𓆩♡𓆪 so to say that he would be 100% supportive of you and your job would be an understanding - he wouldn’t get jealous or sulky over the intimate scenes, Vernon knows very well that that’s just a part of your work, and it’s a natural part of it 

𓆩♡𓆪 and being able to say that this superstar is his significant other??? Chef’s kiss 

LEE CHAN 

𓆩♡𓆪 heart eyes 24/7, like he’d be so so proud of  you, and sometimes he wouldn’t believe you’re his girlfriend, because you’re like this huge actress, and he gets to call you his

𓆩♡𓆪 i cannot stress this enough, but he would be the most supportive and proud boyfriend ever - you know those soccer mums and dads that have banners and scream anytime their child touch the ball? that would be Chan

𓆩♡𓆪 he would re-watch your movies whenever you’d be away, or when he went overseas for schedules, he’d definitely have a list of comfort movies, and watch those every night 

𓆩♡𓆪 Chan would have a collection of all of the DVD and Blu-rays with your movies, and keep them neatly on the shelf in his room  

𓆩♡𓆪 also, you’d probably have to comfort him a little after a kissing scene, or a more intimate one, because he’d get a bit upset (but nothing to serious, it’d for just a moment)

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @dkswife @marisblogg @whatsgyud @aaniag

[bvidzsoo]

Love you, forever

❀Boyfriend!Mingi❀

TW: nothing, except angst and then fluff *cries*

Word count: 2,4k

A/N: Am I okay? Not really. Did Mingi's IG post send me into a spiral of depression? Kinda yeah. Did writing this help? Abso-fucking-lutely not, I'm even more in shambles, I don't even know what life is anymore guys, I'm hurting, bye. I'm fine, don't y'all worry, at least I'll be fine tomorrow lol Mingi's IG post really destroyed me, I'm a libra, I'm dramatic okay? Your feedback is appreciated! This little piece is for all of my fellow Mingtis' who are hanging on by a thread, love y'all! And please listen to Tunnel to get the feels even more going, trust me! *cries again*

            I couldn’t help but sigh for the nth time as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, chest tightening the longer I stared at my notebooks. It felt like nothing was going my way anymore, like everything was falling apart. I couldn’t define the tipping point of it all, but everything was starting to become too much. The stress, every new day brought more challenges without an obvious solution. The assignments felt like they were only adding up more and more, overtaking every thought of mine and only inducing more stress. Things started to become overbearing, I started feeling like a failure. There was a constant pressure on my chest, threatening, about to burst just at a simple innocent glance thrown my way by a stranger. I ignored it as best as I could, the thoughts and emotions, but it was getting harder day by day. It didn’t help that after a misunderstanding, my boyfriend wasn’t talking to me…everything just felt too much. Like I was overstimulated without a concrete reason, and not even my friends could help anymore. It felt lonely, it felt cold, and it felt downright depressing. It was fine as long as I wasn’t at home, as long as I wasn’t left on my own with my loud thoughts making me feel even more miserable.

It's been three days since we’ve spoken, Mingi and I, and it was maddening. I knew this didn’t mean the end of our relationship, but I never took it well when he was upset because of me. Especially when he was the one to pull away, to give me the cold shoulder. Especially not right now, when all I wished for was to curl up by his side and inhale his familiar cologne, closing my eyes and relaxing into my boyfriend’s arms. I needed him here, and I knew he needed his space when upset, but I felt like being selfish and just texting him. If the tears in my eyes weren’t proof enough that I was seriously on the verge of breaking, then I don’t know what else was. I sniffed loudly and pushed my notebooks aside, blood boiling just at the simple sight of them. It’s those damned notes which were making me feel like this, and the impeding feeling of failure, of failing another important class and never finishing this wrenched course and university altogether. It was frightening, and I didn’t want to be alone anymore. My friends were always a text away, but my body was craving the warmth of my boyfriend, my soul was yearning for his. I didn’t want to be alone anymore, and I didn’t want to drown and wallow in this horrible feeling anymore. I needed the love of my life next to me.

Quickly wiping my tears clean from my eyes, I adjusted my glasses on the bridge of my nose and unlocked my phone, noticing that I had gotten a notification from Instagram. At the beginning of our relationship, which was quite a few years ago, Mingi and I had set each other’s accounts to send notifications when one of us posted, being madly in love and eager to see what the other was up to. Despite the passing of time, and of our emotions only deepening, we never turned the setting off, and I was surprised to find a notification from his personal page. With another sniff, I clicked on the app and was presented with ten images of my boyfriend, out and about, enjoying his day. His black hair was fluffy and not necessarily styled, but the messy look always fit him extraordinarily. His bare face looked healthy, and it had a nice shine to it under the lightning of the place he was at, and I couldn’t help but sniff again as I scrolled through the pictures, trying to ignore the fact that the blue and greyish sweater he wore was a gift from me for his birthday two years ago. And perhaps the tears wouldn’t have sprung free from my eyes if it weren’t for that video in which he was dancing to the music softly playing in the background, locking and popping in tiny as he grinned and chuckled. Mingi was a dance major with a minor in music, and he was living his best possible life at the moment. He was happy and content with where he was at, and it always brought so much joy to my soul, but seeing him enjoying himself while I was wallowing in self-pity certainly set off an uncontrollable amount of tears and ugly gasps for air. It made me happy that he was doing okay, but seeing him made me miss him terribly, and I couldn’t help but close my phone and lay down on my bed, curling up into a ball as I cried into my pillow.

This crying session was really due time, the emotions bundled up for way too long now, but it still felt horrible that I had to try and push the feeling of loneliness away and comfort myself, while foolishly trying to smell Mingi’s cologne since I was wearing his oversized blouse. The only problem was that I had stolen it from him a long time ago and it didn’t carry his cologne anymore, it had my scent, and that just made me gasp for air as my heart clenched more, making me miss him even more. And perhaps if it weren’t for the sobs increasing in volume and the self-wallowing I was so focused on, I would’ve noticed or heard the jiggle of keys and the opening of the front door. But I was too busy ripping my glasses off my head and throwing them behind me, rubbing the heels of my palms roughly against my eyes and trying to calm my irregular breathing as my throat finally seemed to ease up, my chest somewhat lighter than before. But I knew the crying session wasn’t over, it was just a matter of time until another strong wave of sadness and yearning would hit me, sending me into another fit of ugly sobs. I just couldn’t help it, it felt like the world around me was falling apart and I couldn’t do anything about it, just let it ruin me in the process.

But as I pushed myself back up into a sitting position and rubbed the snot off my face with the sleeve of my blouse, I heard footsteps outside of my door, startling me. Very few people had keys to my apartment. Like my parents, bestest friend and…well, Mingi. We didn’t live together yet, we were planning on moving in together soon, but both of us had keys to each other’s apartments. And I knew it couldn’t have been my parents as they live five hours away and never visit on weekdays, neither could it be my best friend as she was away on a two-week business trip with her work colleagues. And that could only mean…that it was Mingi. And almost as if sensing my confused state, the door to my room opened and Mingi stood in the doorway, dressed and looking the same as in the pictures.

“Hey, I—baby?” His raspy voice was quiet and his eyebrows furrowed when his eyes fell on me. I sniffed loudly, frozen for a second, until another wave of yearning and loneliness hit hard, making me cry again as I stared at my boyfriend helplessly, “Oh my God, what’s wrong?”

He rushed inside, almost tripping over his feet, but made it to the bed safely and before he could really as much as reach out for me, I sprung forward and jumped on his lap, wrapping my limbs around him like a koala. Mingi grunted in surprise due to the sudden attack, but his arms were instantly wrapped around my middle as I held onto him tightly, hiding my face in his warm neck as I tried to control my breathing and stop the tears. He was here now; I wasn’t alone anymore. I had him and I would always have him, no matter what. His body was warm and soft against mine, so familiar as it engulfed mine into his, Mingi’s nose nuzzling against the top of my head as I slipped my fingers through his soft hair, sighing contently at the feeling of being held. In his arms, it was always as if the world disappeared, like it was just the two of us, like nothing and nobody could hurt us. He’s been the one and only man to ever make me feel like that, and it made me think quite often how lucky I was to have found such person. And Mingi’s sweet, yet musky scent finally made my sobs settle into loud sniffs, arms tightening around his neck involuntarily as if I was afraid he’d leave.

“Baby?” Mingi’s voice was small, almost afraid, as I felt a kiss pressed against the top of my head as he shifted, bringing us higher up on the bed as he held me close against himself.

“I missed you,” I croaked out, lips trembling slightly, “so much, Mingi.”

“I’m sorry.” Mingi whispered, letting out a heavy sigh, “I shouldn’t have ignored you for three days, that was shitty of me. Why are you crying? What happened?”

I sighed and shrugged lightly, “I don’t know, I just—”

I chewed on my bottom lip, letting the silence stretch on as Mingi carefully cupped my cheeks and raised my head up, our faces close to each other as we stared in each other’s eyes. Mingi’s sharp eyes were soft and filled with so much worry, that it made me pout as I tried to put my jumbled thoughts into words, “I don’t know. Things got too much; I suppose. The classes and assignments, the fear that I won’t finish my dissertation in time, and you then getting upset…I’ve been feeling under the weather for quite a while now, actually. I guess I just broke today.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mingi’s expression was sour and it made me feel guilty as I looked away from his eyes, following the sharp bridge of his nose, well defined and tall. I shrugged, getting comfortable in his lap as I laced my fingers together around his neck, Mingi’s warm and big hands settling on my hips.

“You worry a lot about me, Mingi, I didn’t want to burden you again with something so insignificant—”

“Your wellbeing is very significant to me, Y/N, and you know that.” His voice had an edge to it as his grip slightly tightened against me, his own lips forming a pout. I stared at him for a few seconds before sniffing again, eyes taking in his tan face, his dark and warm eyes, the mole under his eye and on his jaw, and his plush lips. I had missed him dearly.

“I know.” I mumbled and looked back into his eyes when Mingi pulled our bodies flushed together, leaning ahead to nudge his nose against mine, his breath tickling my face. I couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on my lips, and I averted my eyes shyly as Mingi chuckled.

“I’m not upset anymore.” He said, licking his lips before bopping his nose against mine again, “And you’re too stressed to study more today.”

My lips pulled into a tight line as I hummed, shoulders sagging a little, but Mingi suddenly grinned incredibly wide, his uneven and protruding front teeth showing, a little ‘imperfection’ I adored way too much about him. His eyes suddenly held an exited glint in them and I couldn’t help but feel intrigued, raising my eyebrows in question at him.

“I brought you your favorite cake, as an apology.” He bit his lower lip as his cheeks lightly flushed, “But the weather is really nice today and I think some fresh air will do you good.”

“What are you suggesting?” I asked as I leaned forward, resting my chin on his left shoulder as I hugged him tightly.

“We drive out to our favorite spot by the waterfall and have a little picnic, we can pick up some food on the way, and then drive around aimlessly after the sun sets.” There was a short pause and a low hum coming from deep within Mingi’s chest, “How does that sound?”

New tears gathered in my eyes, but not for the previous reasons I was crying about not even twenty minutes ago. My chest was filled to the brim and my heart was beating fast and loudly in my ears, filling me with warmth and so much love that I felt like I would burst. Mingi always knew what I needed, he was always there for me, he always provided whatever he could best. I chuckled quietly and sniffed loudly again, nodding my head wordlessly before I pulled back and looked him in the eyes, a smile stretching onto my lips.

“I love you.”

Mingi’s giggle was deep and low, rolling his eyes playfully as if he tried to brush off those words, but unable to do so, “And I love you.”

I closed my eyes and leaned forward, closing the small gap between our lips as I pressed a soft, but lingering kiss against Mingi’s soft and warm lips. He tasted like the watermelon chapstick I have given him while we were on vacation, his lips chapped from the salty ocean air. And everything suddenly felt in place, I found serenity within myself as Mingi kissed back eagerly but softly, his lips capturing mine between his as his large palm melted into my lower back. Being in his arms and feeling him against myself brought a sense of security and contentment, of acceptance, and want that only Mingi could provide. His teeth lightly grazed against my lower lip as he nipped at it before just slightly pulling back, pressing his forehead against mine as he nuzzled his nose against the skin of my cheek, making me flush at the endearing gesture.

“I assume that’s a yes, then.” I chuckled and pressed a swift kiss against Mingi’s lips again.

“Yes, love of my life, let’s go.” I knew the nickname always flustered Mingi, making him call me cheesy. But this time he said nothing as he giggled quietly, scrunching his nose and squeezing his eyes shut in a cute manner, making my cheeks hurt from how widely I was smiling at him.

God, I have missed him, the love of my life. Song Mingi.

Masterlist

[lynzishell]

The Past 🩵 Asher

I rush into my apartment, slamming the door behind me, and take a sharp left to get into my room before Lex can catch me. Once inside, I lock the door and remove my smelly clothes from last night as quickly as I can. I’m tempted to shower again after having to walk home in them, but I don’t have time. As it is, Iris is going to be calling in an hour to ask why I haven’t arrived yet, and I really don’t have it in me today to deal with her moods, which are even worse now that she’s very pregnant. Spencer is due to arrive in a couple weeks, and my sister ran out of patience a couple weeks ago.

“Ash?” Lex pounds on the door as I’m pulling clothes from my dresser.

“Give me two minutes, I’m just changing.” I really don’t have time to chat with her, I have to leave, but I also kinda need my best friend.

Once I’m fully clothed, I walk into the living room to find Lex standing there, waiting for me. She takes one look at my face and holds out her arms with a concerned pout, “Baaabe.” Years ago, I told her that I hate it when guys call me “babe”, that it was a total turn off. Her solution was to call me “babe” herself, that way no one else would be allowed to call me that ‘cause it’s hers; and it wouldn’t feel so icky because she’d be saying it ironically. But then it stuck and now it really is hers and there’s nothing ironic about it.

I fall into her arms and let her embrace me as only she can. Lex gives the best hugs. Sometimes she squeezes the life out of you, but on days like today, it feels like she’s holding all the broken bits of me together. If she hugs me long enough then it will heal me, but if she lets go too soon, I’ll fall to pieces, so I squeeze her back just as tight and bury my face in her shoulder.

“What happened?”

“I made a fool of myself, Lex.” As I say the words out loud, I feel a lump form in my throat and I’m grateful that my voice is muffled by the sleeve of her jacket so as not to give me away.

“What do you mean?”

“I just… I thought... I don’t know what I thought,” and then the dam breaks. My tears burst forth so quickly that I have no chance of stopping them, so I just let it happen. The sobs rack my body, making my chest hurt. I cling to her like she’s a lifebuoy in the middle of the ocean during a storm. And she stands there, solid and safe, holding me until the storm passes and I start breathing normally again. It’s over just as quickly as it started.

“I’m gonna kill him, y’know,” she says finally.

I sniffle and let out a pitiful laugh, “Please don’t.”

“Seriously? You come home in this state, and you expect me to let him live?”

I walk into the kitchen to splash my face with cold water and clean myself up. “Just because I’m sad doesn’t mean he deserves your wrath. Besides, I think I’m just extra sensitive coming down from whatever the hell you gave us last night.”

“So, this is my fault?”

“No. I’m just saying my breakdown is at least partially chemical. And maybe that explains Atlas’ mood today actually. Oh, I might’ve completely misread everything. Fuck.” I groan as I clench my stomach and lean against the counter, suddenly feeling sick with regret and embarrassment.

“Okay, hold on, what exactly happened?”

“I don’t have time to get into it. I have to run out to my parents’ house and help Iris with fucking baby furniture or something.”

“Well, let’s go then. I’ll come with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t have anything else to do today, and we’re not done talking. And I like your mom’s cooking.”

I throw my arm around her shoulders and kiss her cheek dramatically, “Thank you.” I’m grateful to have her to talk to during the two-hour drive. I would no doubt be stewing and obsessing the whole time if not. My family will be happy to see her as well. They’re always asking why she doesn’t come visit more. Of course, I know it’s because she feels like she has to go see her own family if she’s in town, and that’s the last thing she wants to do.

“Alright, calm down. Let’s go.”

Prev // Next

[lucid-heart]

Teeth in Your Throat

Vampire!Lottie Matthews x f!Reader 🔞

🩸Lottie hesitates to feed from you because she's scared of hurting you. But you know she would never, she just needs a little convincing🩸

WC: 1.7k+

masterlist • read on ao3 • request

CW: Blood Drinking, Kinda Subby Top Lottie,

"You can bite," you say. "You need to feed. And I trust you."

Lottie's eyes haven't left yours but the usual dark brown has been replaced with a glowing red. The beautiful vampire hesitates when given the chance to drink your blood. She's always worried she will hurt you.

But you know she wouldn't.

And she is very, very hungry.

"It's okay," Lottie says with a slight tremor. "I'll find Nat, she can get me-"

You grab her hand and tug her closer. Lottie stumbles and bumps into you. Her skin is cold to the touch but will quickly warm once in contact with you for long enough. She nervously looks away, as if looking at you for too long will cause her to lose control.

Maybe that's what you need her to. To give her the push over the edge.

"Lottie. Are you really going to run and find Nat when I'm right here?" You roll your eyes in fake exasperation. "Hmph. Maybe I should go find Shauna."

Lottie's eyes snap to yours and her brows furrow.

"What?" A single word but it's ice cold.

Lottie hides her emotions well, years of being forced to act like the perfect daughter for parents that never cared about her. But you know her too well. Even now as she tries to act casual, it bleeds through her stare. Hot, raging, jealously.

You shrug. "Nothing. Just I know Shauna would appreciate a taste. Since Jackie is away, she hasn't had human blood in a while. And I beat she would be real rough about it-"

Lottie grabs you with pure vampire strength. One moment you're standing face to face in her room, the next your back is against the wall with her body caging you in. She bares her teeth as her fangs snap down, eyes glowing red.

Your heart races in your chest. You should feel fear from being so close to someone so dangerous and the adrenaline rushes through your system. Heat burns in your chest and you let out a shaky exhale.

"Don't," she says. "Don't talk about Shauna."

You raise a hand to her lips. Slowly you press your thumb into her mouth and against the sharp tip of her fang until it draws blood. Then you press deeper into her mouth. Her tongue swirls around your fingertip as she catches the taste of you. Of what you're offering.

She groans and her eyes flutter.

"What are you so afraid of?" you ask. "You need to feed. I think it's hot when you bite me. I think there's an easy solution here."

Lottie lets your thumb slip from her mouth and she stares at you with intense eyes. Ever since you've started dating, you've chased the darker side of her. She worries that you'll be afraid of her. Doesn't she know you love it? You want her.

"Baby, please." You lift your head to expose your throat to her. "I need you."

Something in Lottie snaps and she pounces. Her lips lay waste to your neck as she kisses and nips, sure to leave a splattering of marks the next day. You moan and hold onto her. But she doesn't break skin. Not yet. Not even as she teases her fangs against your pulse point.

"You're such a temptation," she murmurs. "I want to so badly."

"Why don't you?" you gasp breathlessly.

She presses you against the wall and a thigh slots between your legs. You bite back a groan as you press against her, need pulsing through your core. She's hardly even touched you yet.

"Mm." Lottie kisses your jaw. "Adrenaline makes blood taste sweeter."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Prey that runs, that is afraid. It's why we hunt. Why we chase. It tastes good." A hand dances across your chest over your clothes, a light tease. "But do you want to know what tastes best?"

She finds your wrist and lifts your still bleeding thumb to her mouth. She meets your gaze with hooded eyes as she licks the bead of blood welling on your fingertip.

Your heart thunders in your chest, so loud it might overwhelm you. You know Lottie can hear it. Her vampire hearing allows her to pick up on even the slightest of changes. The corners of her mouth quirk in knowing. She knows exactly what she's doing to you.

"Prey that wants it tastes best."

Wants her.

Needs her.

Needs-

Lottie leans in and claims your lips, the metallic tang of your blood still on her tongue. You taste it in a fleeting moment before it's just her kissing you. Usually Lottie is sweet and kind, a wonderful girlfriend who loves you very much. This side of her is that but also darker and possessive. She kisses you like she wants to devour you. To claim you.

You must have really ticked her off when you mentioned Shauna.

You wrap your arms around her neck and hold her closer. Her frame is slim but you can feel the power she possesses. If she wanted to, she could throw you across the room without blinking. You are weightless to her.

Evidenced by the way she effortlessly hooks a hand under your thigh and lifts you against the wall.

"That's it," you breathe against her mouth. "That's my girl."

Lottie groans and she slams a hand into the wall beside your head.

"You like that? Being called mine?" You tug at the front of her shirt until she gasps. "Do you want me?"

"Yes, yes, so badly." It comes out as half a needy beg and half a hiss. Lottie licks her lips and bares her fangs, twin points shining and full extended.

You want her fangs buried in your neck while her long fingers are buried inside you.

Lottie seems to get the idea as her eyes darken. She shifts her hands to your waist and carries you over to her bed. Down onto the many cushions you go with her on top of you. She can't stop kissing you. She can't get enough of you.

You find the hem of her shirt and tug it over her head. The second she's free, she's back kissing you again. It's hungry, pressing you back against the pillow with even the slightest touch. She's so hot.

"(Y/N)?" she groans.

"Mm?"

You dig your nails into her shoulder blades and she shudders.

"Can I...?" Her eyes sweep down your body.

She doesn't need to ask, you've wanted this since the moment you lay eyes on her. How could you not? Lottie Matthews can command a room with her smile alone. She enchants and entrances, and that's even without her vampire powers. You've wanted her since the beginning.

The vampire thing is just a bonus.

"Please."

Lottie shifts back and lifts your shirt. As she takes it off, she plants kisses up your stomach, your chest, your throat until she reaches your lips once again. Your entire body feels like it's burning alive.

You need her to touch you.

"God, you are so hot," she murmurs. "I could just eat you."

You bite her bottom lip for emphasis and tug it back. "Do it then. I'm here for the taking."

She doesn't need anymore encouraging. Lottie eagerly leans in and kisses you again. But this time, as her lip strays across her your jaw, her intent is clear. Sharp teeth tease at your skin as the hunter finds her mark.

But Lottie doesn't bite just quite yet.

She trails a hand down your stomach into your pants, finding you wet and ready for her. It doesn't take her long to find the perfect angle and then she's sinking into you.

"Fuck, Lottie!"

You arch up into her waiting mouth. She kisses your neck, just below your ear.

"God, (Y/N), I want you bad," she gasps. "You're so-!"

How can she say that as her fingers thrust in and out of you? She quickly finds a strong rhythm, curling deep inside you. Heat spreads through you until you feel like you're aflame. You're burning for her. You won't last long.

Lottie lets out a shaky exhale and her body presses against you.

"Fuck, that's it," you groan. "Just like that! Keep going, Lot, I'm so close!"

"Y-Yeah?"

Your nails find themselves in her back again and she whines, the noise sending a hot flash right through your chest. You scratch down her spine and she moans.

"So close, you're doing so well, Lottie," you gasp.

As if spurred on by your praise, she ducks her head against your skin. Her fangs caress the vulnerable expanse of your shoulder, just waiting for her moment. You know exactly when she will bite you. And you weren't lying when you said you were close.

You cry out her name as you come, drawing blood from how hard you're clutching to her back.

And Lottie sinks her teeth into your neck.

Jackie described to you what it felt like but nothing could have prepared you. No pain, no sting, just hot pleasure spreading through your entire body. Lottie drinks from you and it completely overwhelms you.

Fingers in you, teeth in you.

"L-Lottie! Oh god, Lottie!"

She drinks her fill. You can't quite tell if you're lightheaded from that, from coming, or a messy combination of both. Either way, you never felt anything like that before. Intensely euphoric and addictive.

Lottie paints your throat red with kisses, tongue lightly pressing to the weeping wounds. She groans deep in her throat.

"(Y/N)... that was..."

You know.

You released your hold from her back and flop back against her pillows. Lottie raises her head and her lips are painted blood red. You raise a hand and wipe the drop trying to roll down her chin.

"Good?"

She laughs. "More than good."

You touch your throat and your fingers come away red. Lottie flushes, embarassed at the mess she made. No matter, she will have plenty of time to clean it later. You reach a hand towards her. Lottie meekly accepts your fingers and licks them clean.

"Still hungry?"

"Uh... I... not really-!"

You hook a leg over her hips and turn the two of you. Lottie ends up sprawled beneath you, hair spread out like a dark halo. You smile down at her. Her blush is very cute for someone who is so dangerous.

"Okay. Then I guess it's my turn to feed on you," you smirk.

You have so much exposed, unmarked skin to work with. When the night is over, your claim on Lottie will be painted all over her skin.

Lottie nods. "Yes, (Y/N)... Please."

You smile.

As if you needed asking.

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 4

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

Serenade by @porcelaincas

“Will Solace,” Nico said. They were so close now that Nico could see that there were golden flecks among the blue in his irises. “Are you trying to serenade me?” or the one where Nico falls for Will even before the battle against Gaea and it all culminates on a warm summer night.

i am always a deep deep sucker for fics where will and nico know each other, at least slightly, before BoO. theyre so fascinating and for what. in this one in particular...oh will helping nico in the bronze jar is crazy. i don't want to spoil it but my ass was sat on that seat reading.

2. Stupid Teens by tihsho

Will likes getting gifts, and Nico likes the way Will blushes whenever he gives him anything. It should be a simple situation, but nothing's ever simple for Nico. Something's bothering Will, and Nico can't do anything about it. Never mind that he still can't seem to put a name to these feelings, either. Maybe there's a point in here about anger and nuance, or maybe it's a point about being young, or self acceptance, or whatever else. Or maybe Nico's just reading into it too much.

yes the homophobia scene is a little gratuitous. HOWEVER. the beginning scene is so dorky and ridiculous that i actually smile WIDE every time, first time i read it i laughed out loud. and the whole nico likes to spoil will a little bit (a lot bit) even well before they got together headcanon is GODSENT its one of my favourites. and i also like in this one how will maybe needs a minute to get comfortable in his sexuality too!!

3. Find Happiness in Misery by percyspandapillowpet

"Nothing can make me happy, Solace," he spat bitterly before turning away and wiping furiously at his face. "I like to try." --- In which Nico is searching for happiness, for his childhood, and for a Christmas present.

this is an older fic, but i think it still holds up!! i love any fic that goes over the whole mythomagic thing tbh. theres so much story potential there and this fic had a very sweet premise.

4. Looks Like We'll Be Trapped Here For A While by percyspandapillowpet

Nico stopped in his tracks and turned towards Will. “The Aphrodite cabin is planning to prank us. Today.” Will raised his eyebrows. “How do you know?” "They were talking about it. I just heard them.” Sighing as if it were just what he was expecting to hear this morning, Will reached up to scratch the back of his head. “Okay. What do you want to do about it?” Nico pondered this for a moment. “I think we should hide.” “Hide? Where?” Will asked. “We can’t leave camp, and it’ll be awfully boring to stay in the forest or something all day.” After a quick mental scan of all possible locations, Nico realized there was only one unfortunate solution. “Um…how about my cabin?”

cheesy and fun!! the mythomagic scene in particular made me giggle. in particular i love this part and feel like you should all be made aware of it:

���It’s…a game I used to play, when I was little,” he replied carefully.

Will looked up at him. “Do you still remember how to play?”

He felt his entire face turning red. “Well…kind of, I guess, but I’ve outgrown it…”

Will glanced at the back of the box. “What’s the attack power of Athena?”

“Five thousand,” Nico replied automatically, and then immediately groaned. That stupid game was so hardwired into his brain, and now Will was going know how much of a weird geek he was—

But Will was smiling. “That’s adorable. Teach me how to play.”

nico being physically unable to hold the stats back....unbeatable headcanon. adore

5. Pawsitively Perfect by percyspandapillowpet

“Is that…” Nico couldn’t even finish is sentence when suddenly the thing mewed. A moment afterwards, it revealed its tiny brown face, turning to face the son of Hades with round, curious eyes that seemed much too large for the rest of its head. Nico would be lying if he said it wasn’t the most adorable little creature he had ever laid eyes upon. But soon enough, the reality hit him. Will had a cat. Cats were not allowed in camp. Will had brought the cat into the Hades cabin, so if they were caught, they would likely both get in trouble. Not that Nico was scared of getting in trouble with the cleaning harpies—it was safe to say he’d been through a lot worse. What he didn’t think he could handle was the shame of being ridiculed as the kid who tried to hide a kitten with Will Solace. Jason would never let it go. Nico glanced from the kitten’s face back up to Will’s, which was somehow equally as endearing with his pleading-blue-puppy eyes. He knew what he was going to ask just from his expression. He sighed. “Will, you can’t keep it.”

bleeding heart will my beloved. sweatshirt thief nico u are so real. honestly a power couple what more could u want. a kitten? there's a kitten, rest assured.

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[trumpkinhotboy]

Nick Nelson would be the best big brother on motherfrigginearth (and this is also something I’m ready to fight about 😤😤)

He has never, EVER been ashamed of you. As siblings, you never went through that weird and mean phase of disliking and annoying the shit out of each other. You always headed to school together, joking around as you did. He always waved enthusiastically when he saw you at the gates of Truham waiting for him, and he loves to bump your shoulder or ruffle your hair before you head to Higgs.

You always make it a priority to spend quality time together. Going on little hiking adventures with Nellie and whatnot. You also love to help him practice for his rugby matches. It most likely (always) ends up in a wrestling match and even though it seems your brother is getting bigger as days go by, you still have enough skills to give him a hard time. Of course, it goes without saying that you go to all of his games. Never afraid to be the one to shout the loudest. You also really like to have little sleepovers/movie nights together. You bundle on the couch with Nellie and a ton of blankets and bicker for approximately 10 minutes on which film you should watch before you come to an agreement. Your mother often joins you and you spend the evening, just the three of you, all cuddled up. Those usually are your favorites.

When you’re upset, he’s always the one who knows how to handle it best. Either by lending a safe ear so you could share your problems or by helping you find the best solutions. Either way, he's always incredibly gentle and caring. You know how lucky you are to have a brother like him. Especially when you look at your oldest brother, David (ugh).

He‘s also incredibly protective of you. When you come back home crying he cradles you in his arms, gently stroking your hair, and deeply sighing before he asks: "Alright, who do I have to kill?". That usually makes you smile and giggle a bit, that’s when he asks if you'd like to get something to eat and talk about it. But on days when that phrase doesn't make you laugh, he knows it's serious and the overprotective big brother in him takes the stage. He'd spend the night making sure you're okay and feeling safe and comforted. On the next day, when he actually sees the person who's been giving you such a hard time, he’d make sure they know he does not like them at all and will not hesitate to act if needed.

But most importantly he's your biggest fan and you are his. So when he finally told you that Charlie was his boyfriend… it was one of the happiest moments of your life.

He had knocked on your door twice before you told him to come in. He opened the door, and as soon as your eyes met you knew something was up. He kept looking at the ground, his gaze darting from the posters on your wall to your mirror, your bookcase, everywhere, but your face.

"Hey, what's up?" you asked, putting down your book to focus on him.

"Hey, kiddo. Am I botherin' you?"

You shake your head no and gently tap a spot on your bed while you shuffle to the side to give him some space. He gives you a small smile before sitting down, your old bed creaking audibly loud as he does so.

"Alright, uhm, so. There's something I'd like to talk to you about."

You normally would have slipped in a joke or two, but his expression was just so serious. You noticed his voice had a slight tremor in it. You kept to yourself, focusing entirely on him.

"Sure, what's going on?"

He brought his knees up to loosely wrap his arms around them before starting.

"Well, you know there are quite a few things that have changed for me this year. With school, Harry, Imogen, and uh… meeting Charlie of course." You nod, encouraging him to continue. "It hasn't always been easy. All this change has made me question a lot of stuff, and even discover new things about me."

"Yes, but there has been good stuff, right? Meeting Charlie has basically been amazing for you. You've stopped hanging out with those asshats so much, and you got to meet his amazing friend group right?" you reach for his arm. He looks so nervous, you feel completely thrown off. Nick is known to be pretty confident and chill. You just want him to feel better, and be back to his usual happy self.

At the mention of his friends, he does seem to loosen up a bit and smile before looking at you.

"Yeah, you're right. This has been amazing for me and, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Uhm, I guess you could say things have changed between Charlie and I. We uh…"

"Oh Nick what did you do?" you straightened up immediately. This made sense, he probably had a falling out with him and was now feeling completely down and sad about it. "Charlie is soo cool. I swear if you've done anything to mess that up I'll whoop your ass."

"Hey! Why would you assume I've done anything??" he questioned, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"Because Charlie is way too caring and amazing to do anything wrong." You crossed your arms on your chest before resting on your headboard. The look of disapproval on your face only seemed to make your brother's smile grow larger.

"He is pretty amazing isn't he?"

"He definitely is. I love Charlie," you grunted. "All right now, spit it out. What did you do, if it's not too horrible, I’m sure we can find a way to fix it."

He turned a bit more so that you would be facing each other.

"Y/n, we didn't have a falling out. We… Charlie is my boyfriend.

Time stood still for a second, the weight of his declaration still hanging in the air.

"Charlie is your what."

"He's my… boyfriend?" he said once more, panic slowly invading his chest like an unbearable weight. Dread overtook him. Dread and something else, the feeling of his heart skipping a beat. You, his person, really? You wouldn’t be okay with that?

You stayed paralyzed, in shock. Your mouth slightly open. He was about to finally break the silence when you jumped on him, squealing like a crazy person.

"NICOLAS NELSON, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU." He hugged you back with all his might, feeling so incredibly relieved. Relieved to have told you, but more than anything else, relieved that you were still you. His person, the only person in the world he knew would always accept and love him unconditionally. "I want to know EVERYTHING. Oh my god, I can't wait to see Charlie!!!! You little rats!!!”

He gave you that big old smirk of his, he seemed on top of the world, and that warmed your heart.

"So you're happy for me?" he asked carefully, a faint shadow of uncertainty still dancing in his eyes.

You grabbed his face into your hands “You deserve this so much Nick. You don't even understand how happy I am for you.”

And then you hugged again, both squealing like idiots before you invited Charlie over for an impromptu sleepover where you spent most of the night hearing every detail about how they came to be a couple. Everytime Nick would see you interact with Charlie his heart would skip a beat or feel like it might explode. This time, because it couldn’t seem to contain all the happiness he was feeling. That's when Charlie and you were suddenly tackled to the ground by Nick's heavy body.

"Oh my god, Nick you're crushing us!!!" screamed Charlie, laughing as he did. To what your brother simply answered, "Oh shut up and just let me hug my two favorite people in the world in peace."

YOU CAN’T TELL ME YOU DON’T SEE IT !!! C'MON !!!!

[leighcest]

listen to 'this night has opened my eyes' by the smiths while reading!

adam's medical analysis from a teenager who has no idea what he's doing but has internet access >_<.

why does no one talk about adam's injuries after the bathroom trap?

obviously his shoulders messed up, yeah, but what else? well in this hypothetical we'll assume that instead of amanda coming to kill adam it's larry coming to save him. it's estimated that this was three(?) days after the bathroom trap. 

realistically he would be incredibly malnourished and would die from dehydration unless he drank the water from the bathtub/toilet (let's say he did in this au) which would cause him diseases such as sepsis, cholera, e. coli, the such. and if any one of you goes “well! he could have eaten zepp!” i’m not even entertaining that. obviously, sure, he could have, but for my own sake let's say he didn’t. sorry guys i’m not that committed

another reason i don’t think he would eat zepp is because he was barely alive when mandy killed him. his fight or flight kicked in and thats why he went so hard. this motherfucker got electrocuted several times after he was shot. he almost immediately gave up on moving unless necessary. 

his ankle would probably be rubbed raw and sprained. i couldn't find a lot of information about ankle shackling and what it does… so… i’m just guessing at this point. not to mention the fact they’re both barefoot? adam probably stepped on the glass he threw several times​​​. you can hear glass crunching under mandy’s boot in saw three. that's how loud it is.

he would probably need physical therapy. not as much for his leg as larry, but definitely some.

back to his shoulder: assuming he didnt die of shock. adam still has his overshirt from the beginning of the movie. he could have taken advice from lawrence and put that onto his shoulder and stopped his bleeding. but since he didn’t, let’s assume the best solution is losing mobility in his right shoulder/arm. 

adam’s immune system would also be incredibly shit after this. he’d probably be feverish, delusional, etc. when we saw mandy killing adam he looked like he was having delusions.

when adam is killed by mandy he starts coughing up blood (given this was after he hit his head) but we can also argue that this is another side effect? of what, you may be wondering. idfk some problems. maybe electrocution! 

again with the malnourishment i feel like it would be hard for him to eat after this because like.. he’d get sick a lot… i guess…

tldr: adam would be malnourished and unable to eat for a while, his ankle would be sprained and rubbed raw, defo has an infection, no immune system, little to no function in right arm, feet would also get very cut up.

---

now, his canon death. let's talk about it, shall we? he got his head bashed in and suffocated. the man threw up his own blood. three things that definitely cause death! i think this is the order it happened since no one can decide. concussion, throws up own blood, chokes on it, since he can’t breath to begin with, he dies from asphyxiation. if we follow matpat’s theory that he faked his death, we can argue back that even if he somehow survived that he would almost 100% die from his concussion or choking on his own sick. 

tldr: adam is dead :(

---

also adam wears combat boots. this isn’t important by any means. i just wanted to point it out. and his boxers look hella cool. They’re just polka dots but i like them lots.

anyways guys like and follow for a part two feel free to tell me to add things in reblogs/comments and i will share my opinion. Remember i am not a doctor i’m just a teenager with webmd and a dad who said it was pretty accurate! if ur shot go to the hospital trust. umm yeah:3

[carrie-tate]

For the character ask meme,

Pavitr from ATSV

AND

A character that you feel never gets enough tkl content (any fandom) !!!

Hope this week is treating you kindly 😊😊😊

Oh! A good choice! There's not enough talk about this guy, you know? x>

1. on a scale of 1-10, how ticklish are they?

Actually, I think he's somewhere between 7 and 8, not the most ticklish of the characters, but he's still easy to get.

2. where is their most ticklish spot(s)?

I'm divided between maybe his back or his sides. I'm leaning towards the second one, but in my head his back is a very good spot, you know?

3. which spots are they not ticklish?

Hmm, I don’t even know, maybe the neck and shoulder area?

4. what is their laugh like?

Oh, Pavitr definitely has a bright laugh, that is, with his activity and sparkling fun just from the way he speaks? You know, he is the same person who, having heard a good joke, laughs out loud, squinting his eyes and throwing his head back. Very infectious and snorting, that's how I see him.

5. do they enjoy tickling? if yes, is it a fun platonic/familial thing, or kinky thing to them, or can it be both depending on the circumstance?

I see him as a generally tactile guy who can hug you by the shoulder, ruffle your hair for a joke, and all that stuff. And for him, tickle is just another way to show attention to the people who surround him and whom he values. This also works in the opposite direction. So I think yes, he enjoys it, more in a platonic fun way

6. are they more often a lee or ler, generally?

He has the switch-energy. But ler-leaning, I think. He initiates tickle easily by just suddenly starting to poke the other person until it escalates into a real tickle fight where he doesn't get upset at all if he ends up being the one being tickled.

7. who is someone in their life that they tickle often?

Mainly Miles and Gwen, they're both overly anxious teenagers, and Pavitr seems like he could be the one who would pull him out of this decadent mood with a tickle every now and then, because his friends deserved a little laugh, didn't they?

8. who is someone in their life that they get tickled by often?

Gayatri, definitely her. I can clearly see how Pavitr is ready to surrender to her without a fight if she decides to do so. He will simply turn into a giggling puddle on the spot. Well, maybe also Hobbie, I love headcanons where these two have a sibling dynamic of the calm older one and the hyperactive younger one (where both are essentially chaotic jerks). And in the case of Hobbie, he can easily wreck Pavitr, and most often this is what happens.

9. does the word “tickle” or any variation of embarrass them?

Not at all, usually he is the one who embarrass others with this word. At the same time, sincerely not understanding and every time asking “What’s wrong with this word?”, regardless of whether he is in the role of a lecturer or not. He will say this word either in the context of "It's tickles!" or "Oh, is it tickles?"

10. are they embarrassed about their ticklishness, and do they try to deny/hide it?

Just like with the 'tickle' word, he doesn’t look like a person who would be shy about it. Although perhaps this was the case when he acts cool in front of his Gayatri, and the girl finds out that he is ticklish, ruining all his plans. But then, of course, he doesn’t regret it.

11. would gentle tickling or rough tickling affect them more?

This will be trivial, but it depends on what you want to get. Bright belly laugh and tears of joy? Rough tickles, digging your fingers into his sides and ribs, is what you need. No less loud and happy giggling and snickering? Gentle tickles, light scratches on his back - this is your solution

12. is there a specific spot that they enjoy being tickled, either exclusively or more than other spots? what is it?

Again, his back, I don’t know why this spot on him seems so special to me. But it seems to me that he may even directly ask to be tickled there

13. is there a spot that they can’t stand to be tickled, either because it’s just too sensitive, or it’s uncomfortable/painful/etc? what is it?

I'll be honest, I have no thoughts

14. would they ever purposefully bug a friend/partner/sibling into tickling them, and if so, how would they go about it?

Constantly, there’s simply not a week where he doesn’t starts tickle fights among the young spider-people. Including in order to have a little fun too. Of course, he can ask them about it directly, but this is a boring way, you know?

15. does teasing affect them?

They don't really affect him, but he will still react if you tease him. Running your hands through your hair, only to then cover your face with your hand and complain through laughter, “Please shut up!” but I’m not saying this at all seriously, it’s just about him.

And about the second one, I'm completely confused, so I don't know which character to choose x'D But if I ever figure it out, I'll definitely make a second part for this post

Thanks for asking!!!

[larcenywrites]

Hii. Could you write headcanons for being in the lab with Tony (young!Tony and/or regular!Tony)? Like, keeping him company while he finishes a project so y'all can go to bed or something. And watching him in his element, talking nonsense to Jarvis, asking you to pass him a tool or to... asking him to explain what he's doing and seeing him go into full on science mode with sparkling eyes and whatnot and he's like super excited you're interested in his science stuff. And he kisses you to get his attention back if he notices your mind drifted in the middle of his rant (or if you just did something very well and he's like OMG LOOK AT MY GIRL DOING SCIENCE STUFF)

I think older Tony needs some love here! We’ve talked a lot about being with young Tony in his dad’s lab and doing homework with him and stuff, so let’s give our old man a chance to bore us x) I feel like I really railroaded this all over the place and got carried away but listen this is like the dream

Warnings: 18+ for kinda explicit sexual references

In the Lab With Him

💠It gets pretty lonely when all he does is hide away in his lab :( But that's his happy place- his safe space. Always dedicated to the cause and always addicted to doing more and doing it better! You can't drag him out so easily, so if you can't bring him to you, you'll have to go to him!

💠Not that Tony doesn't want and enjoy your company! But... it's not always the safest place 😥 and sometimes he escapes down here to be alone for a reason :( He might try to gently run you off the first few times you stick around a few minutes too long, but give him your best pout and tell him how much you miss him, with your hands on his biceps and legs bumping with his 🥺🥺🥺🥺 What's he gonna do? Say no?? He could never! It's not like you'll be down there all the time, so he'll probably make sure to leave the more finicky and flammable things for when you've gone to bed or something.

💠He definitely starts to appreciate the company! JARVIS can get pretty dry and sarcastic with him, and it gets pretty boring only getting help from DUM-E by his side. He's really not all that alone down here, huh? Or maybe it just proves your point that he's driving himself crazy down here...

💠And a good thing about finally being allowed in the lab is that you can actually make sure he's eating real food and drinking water down here 🤧 He can't hide all of those k-cups and go-go squeezes!

💠Bug the hell out of him! Ask questions! You may not understand most of it, but sometimes he sure does get excited! He's pointing out how things connect, and you get to see a little behind-the-scenes and inner workings of all the little moving parts in the suit! Ask nicely, and you might get to try on one of those helmets! Ask really nicely, and he might let you help him out a little! Usually it's just passing him tools or holding the flashlight! Don't worry, he won't yell at you if you jostle it.

💠If you ask really, really nicely, he might let you don one of those gauntlets and try your hand at shooting targets and most likely end up hitting the same spot on the wall he made a hole in the first time he ever tried this! Don't worry, he'll be holding onto you the whole time 🥰 But no matter how good you did or how nice you ask, you aren't going to get to try on the rest of the suit 😔

💠But there is something cute about it when he goes on a tangent, and his mind clicks behind his eyes when he finds a solution! Sometimes the biggest smile spreads across his cheeks, and even he looks amazed by the pixels and holograms floating around. Their blue glow reflects in his dark eyes, and his heart glows with them. He might kinda forget you're there and start thinking out loud, or stare off into space with the handle of a screwdriver smooshing at his lips. While he's searching all around the room for answers, sometimes he lands on you, looking over you as if you may be the solution to... something? You aren't even sure what he was looking for in the first place. But the more lost you look, the more cheek kisses you get when paces by 😘

💠Throw your own thoughts out to him when he's lost, even if it's something as simple as "hey, it looks like these could fit together." He'll either explain to you what they are and why they should not be 'fit together,' or you're a genius who gets lots of kisses! Sometimes you can connect a few things he rambles about and figure out how it works, and, after watching him for long enough, you do start to pick up on a few things. Take over a few times or ask if you can connect those wires this time, and he'll be a bit paranoid and watchful, but you seem to be having fun, and he is pretty proud seeing you start to pick up on what he's quite literally done his entire life! And it makes him feel a bit better knowing that you might could get by in an emergency. Maybe he should give you free rein more often, and teach you some new tricks!

💠There shouldn't be anything actually dangerous or hazardous that he lets you tinker with or help him with, but, just like him, you'll probably still get the occasional cut or burn 🤕 He'll feel super bad every time and might want to just jump the gun and keep you away again, or at least make you take a step back for a while. After some convincing, he'll calm down, but he'll still feel bad :/ he just feels like you got hurt because of him, which is like the whole thing he's supposed to prevent 😞 But for probably the first time ever, he gets to patch you up this time ❤️‍🩹

💠It's probably not all that shocking that you'll also end up having a lot of sex down there 😏 Whether you're sitting on top of his desk next to his computer or bent over a table and observing his work, eventually his hands will find their way to your hips. Sometimes, though, you have to be pretty careful. There's been a time or two when whatever he was working on ended up broken on the floor, or JARVIS has scared the life out of you both by suddenly announcing that he's finished running a diagnostic or asking Tony when he would like to start on something 😒 Well, suddenly could probably be put in quotations. JARVIS knows what he's doing!

💠Plus it's hard not to bother him when he always looks so hot in his element! Half the time he's in that slutty black tank top, with strong arms flexing and fingers so delicately twisting screwdrivers. Dark eyes are so stern and focused on whatever he's working on, and eerily similar to the commanding eyes that look down at you when you're on your knees 😏 And then his tongue pokes out in concentration and licks over his lips, and wouldn't he rather look at you like that instead?

💠He isn't blind to your ogling when he's wiping black grease from his fingers. In fact, he purposefully plays it up just for your amusement! He could just wipe his hands and be done with it, but no. He'll give you a show and twist a rag around each digit, and drag it up-and-down his middle and ring finger, familiarly pressed together. It wouldn't be the first time you've left the lab with a bit of a lingering taste of oil on your tongue 😌

💠You know, maybe you've been down here a little too long now, too, because the few Iron Man suits standing tall against the back wall are starting to look oddly... attractive? You and Tony have never been shy with experimenting in the bedroom, and there's something about the way he's flexing his fingers in that bulkier, shiny red handpiece that gives you more than a few ideas 👀 Pretend to ask questions about it and casually ask to touch, but as soon as you start brushing your fingers along the cool metal, and your hand seems so much smaller and fragile in his palm. He didn't exactly pick up on your true intentions, but now he has a few of his own 😈

💠He's mostly on his feet, but sometimes he's seated in an office chair or on a stool at the desk his monitors are sat on, editing code or a model, and usually this is the most boring part unless he lets you choose a color scheme or lets you come up with an acronym for whatever system he's programming over there. However, a lot of the time, he's far too focused and occasionally frustrated. So distracted, in fact, that he won't notice if you simply... slip beneath the desk and slide your hands between his legs 😏 You'll likely get a few warnings, but while his voice is stern, the hand in your hair isn't exactly pulling you away...

💠And while him removing his shirt can be arousing, all of that flies out of the window when he lifts his shirt and starts fiddling with the arc reactor! Let's be real, it's more than a little jarring to watch him take it out, as there's quite literally just a hole there 🤢 But that ghostly blue object is pretty interesting! While you may not want to hold that specific one (and it can't really be out of his chest for very long anyway), there are plenty of others lying around and fixed into those suits on the wall that you can hold and look at. It's the one thing you already know all about, but he always said his heart was in your hands. It's the closest you'll actually get to that 🥺

💠And speaking of ghostly blue glowy things, those blue 3D diagrams and holograms that can make this workspace into a whole new one is also very interesting! After watching him pluck and fling fake molecules and atoms around, you may be tempted to play around in his sandbox, too! It's pretty weird grabbing something realistic that's not actually there, and he'll even jump back a bit if you flick it his way 🤭

💠If you're bored out of your mind, talk to JARVIS when Tony's not using him! You probably already do that anyway, only now you can both gang up on him! JARVIS knows a lot of secrets and surprises after all, and while he's usually sworn to secrecy, he suddenly doesn't care much about that when he's telling you all about the one time you were out of town and he and DUM-E had a tea party, and about the "elongated silicone mold" that he's "not sure what good it did strapped to a suit." He just likes to make Tony squirm and make you laugh 😊 Wait- what did he do with that elongated silicone mold strapped to a suit while you were gone?

💠You can also get JARVIS to answer just about any question about why the chicken crossed the road, or have him replicate the solar system in the center of the room! Talk about a kiss under the stars! JARVIS can get a little curt with his creator at times, and his sarcastic comments can be very entertaining, but he’ll be a little more patient with you 😌 He might metaphorically roll his eyes if you ask him to divide by zero, though 😒 How original and profound of you 🙄

💠Poor DUM-E, always being yelled at :( Just as much as you have an attachment to JARVIS' AI, it's hard not to get attached to that one too! Stick up for the robotic arm that only sometimes breaks things and give it a little head(?) pat! Tony built it when he was 16, after all, so you know he has some sort of love and appreciation for the robot! It's fun watching them all interact, but remind DUM-E that Tony doesn't mean it when he says he'll turn him into a coat rack :(

💠It does make Tony feel a little guilty when you're over there hugging that sulking mechanical arm and cooing, or maybe he just feels bad because that's usually reserved for him >:(

💠When you're really bored, you might even get him to play catch with you, or spend your time teaching him how to paint or something! Fist bump his little grabby claw when he does a good job! Be nicer to his robot companion, and he'll spray you with the fire extinguisher first when things accidentally go awry :) Even if there wasn't even a fire 😅

💠Some days aren't so focused on his work, and he starts working on the project cars! You get to sit in the driver's seat and step on the gas pedal when he asks you to, or he might get you to put your smaller hands somewhere under those pipes to pull on something! But you might get bored at times on these days too. Sit in the back seat and he'll let you control the music that's always playing, or mess with him a little when he's underneath the hood and watch him hit his head if you're feeling a little devilish 😇 But if he's feeling just as devilish, you might end up back-first on that same hood... and you better not get even a scratch on it!

💠And some days are extremely busy. Full of paperwork and blueprints and half-redacted plans from god knows where that you're probably not supposed to see but it's probably fine! He's on the floor, surrounded with papers, and usually seated in the middle of his holographic sandbox of a mountainous landscape or fake missiles he occasionally tries to disarm. It's probably the most interesting thing to watch, yet he'll tend to put his foot down for once when he asks you to leave. While sometimes he doesn't mind you helping him plan escape routes for something you know nothing about, there are things that are obviously much more serious, like those fake missiles he keeps exploding, and he's trying his best not to freak the fuck out in front of you. Of all the fun you have with him in the safety of home, it's easy to forget the direness of his work.

💠And most days, you have to force him to wear those glasses he's supposed to be wearing when he's doing lots of eye-straining work, so pretty much every day. For someone who wears sunglasses at night and occasionally wears a fake black pair with JARVIS built into them, he sure acts like these drive him nuts! He's always pushing them up his nose, and is a bit obsessive in wiping the lenses of every fuzz and smudge. They probably don't bother him that much, but because you made him wear them, he's mad >:( and he's going to show you how awful they are >:( and his vision is slightly better... but it's different >:( But those translucent red frames are super cute sitting on his cheeks, and he always looks so wide-eyed and innocent with the way they curve with his brow and show off his puppy eyes 🥹 Sorry, Tony, doctor's orders and all 😌 Besides, he could never put a stop to something that gives him any extra attention 😉

💠So don't be afraid to smooch that sweet face 😘 It would be harder not to! Especially if he's run into a lot of problems and is getting frustrated. Get happy with him when he makes progress and kiss his cheek, or try to take his mind off of it by massaging at his biceps and gently kissing his shoulder ❤ Remind him that breaks exist and shut up any excuse with a quick kiss or drag him away. Make up a game to play in that 3D sandbox and think of solutions in a more fun and relaxed environment, or convince him to dance with you to his softer 80's playlist 😌

💠Sometimes he can be a bit silly all on his own, especially if he knows you're not paying attention anymore or bored out of your mind (but you just don’t like leaving him alone). He may just start doing a goofy little dance to make you laugh, or make whichever suit is nearby to do it for him! Or maybe he’ll just tackle you to the floor to wake you up instead

💠It may be easier to convince him back upstairs for bed after being with him all day. You're tired and want to go to sleep— with him 🥺 Wrap your arms around him or curl up in his lap and pout again. He can never say no! He may still end up back here before you wake up, but getting him in bed is better than napping in the backseat of one of the cars! Though you may be guilty of doing that with him a time or two… Oh! Don't forget to tell JARVIS and DUM-E goodnight, too :)

💠And sometimes he'll pull the "right after I do this" or "give me a few more minutes." If you aren't there to hold him to those words, he won't be in bed anytime soon. Occasionally, though, he does have a deadline, and occasionally he does like to procrastinate until the last minute, so as much as he really would like to go to bed, he really can't 😔 But maybe this time you can finally step in and help speed up the process! Even if you can't, at least stay up with him. You’ve come too far to go to bed lonely! Again. And he'll appreciate it too 😌 Besides, a tired Tony can easily become a reckless Tony, so maybe it's best you keep an eye on him? No last minute cuts or burns to clean, please! You already do that enough as it is 😮‍💨

💠If it’s been a few days since you stayed downstairs with him, or maybe even you’re out of town for a week or two, it'll somehow be even lonelier :( He often came down here to escape, but maybe it was just so he could feel shitty in private and you actually changed that :( and now even DUM-E doesn't want to work! And that's like the only thing he was programmed to do! You made work fun again! Playing with a holographic generator to make sure he doesn't pull the wrong wire first isn't as fun when you aren't there to snicker at the fake fire he starts (and a certain robotic assistant still tries to put it out), nor is it the same when that one song comes on. Maybe he'll make you your own helmet schemed with your favorite colors just because he misses you, and maybe because you just looked really good in his 😉

All the bonus gifs because I love him 🥰

[fairyniceyeah]

💎 All 13 parts of my heart (Part 2/5)

Title from 1 to 13 (SEVENTEEN)

All 13 parts of my heart I

Summary: "Do you truly care about your leader-title and reputation more than the members? I thought better of you, Choi Seungcheol."

CW: fighting

Whumpee: Jeonghan + Wonwoo + Mingyu + Minghao (OT13)

The next morning came too early. Instead of having his alarm draw him from sleep, Seungcheol woke up to the sound of loud yelling.

Before he was even fully awake he stumbled to the kitchen where the sounds were coming from. Closer now the sound of voices was nearly deafening. Wonwoo and Mingyu were standing on opposite sides of the table, facing each other and both looking incredibly irritated.

“You always complain when I do anything, Mingyu”, Wonwoo called, so uncharacteristically loud, arms spread wide open in anger. “I do the dishes, I do them wrong. I clean the bathroom, I do it wrong. I do the laundry, it’s wrong. What do you want from me?”

Seungcheol stopped in the doorway, observing them for a second before he could go between them. He needed to know what it was that they were angry about though he had a sinking feeling he knew.

“Well, you only do household chores when I tell you too”, Mingyu yelled back. “Last week you literally placed your dirty dishes in the sink when you could have just put away the clean, dry stuff from the drying area to where they belonged. I am tired of cleaning up after you!”

Wonwoo’s eyes went wide. “The last time I did that, you complained I put the bowls in the wrong cabinet!”

“Well, you did! I searched for them for like twenty minutes when I needed them. Why didn’t you put them where they belonged?”

“I didn’t know where they belonged. You always complain that I can’t cook or anything and throw me out of the kitchen when you do. How should I know where stuff is when you don’t let me help?”

“I would just waste time teaching you all the time. Don’t weaponize your culinary incompetence like this!”

💎

Seungcheol felt somebody step up behind him and he turned around to find Minghao looking down, biting his lips. “They’ve been at it for like twenty minutes”, he whispered. The leader sighed and pulled him into his arms. “Don’t worry, Myungho-yah. They’ll figure it out.”

He took a deep breath and let go of the younger, stepping into the lion’s den. “Wonwoo-yah, Mingyu-yah. Please keep it down. Take a deep breath and get ready for today. Once you feel ready, talk to each other, I’m sure you’ll find a solution. Household chores are nothing to fight about, I’m sure.”

Already Seungcheol felt like a hollow recording of the same words.

The two rappers turned around to look at him, clearly not even having noticed him in the heat of their argument. Mingyu scoffed but nodded, turning around on the spot and storming back to his room.

The room he shared with Wonwoo. 

Seungcheol had not quite thought it through. 

Wonwoo gave Seungcheol a pained smile, clearly uncomfortable with the focus on him. “Sorry, hyung”, he whispered, bowing his head. It was the first time Seungcheol had ever seen him yell like that and it hurt that it was directed at his best friend. Wonwoo and Mingyu had been close from the start and while Wonwoo was the hyung, Mingyu had always taken care of him. To have this love backfire was horrible to watch.  

“It’s fine, Wonwoo-yah”, Seungcheol said gently, “well, it’s not. But you’ll work it out, I’m sure. You can go to my room and borrow some clothes if you want.”

Wonwoo nodded, relieved to be out of the spotlight. Seungcheol patted his shoulder as Wonwoo passed him.

With both of them gone, the tension gone, Seungcheol fell into a kitchen chair and rested his head on the table. It was all becoming too much too quickly. All the arguments were awful to witness, especially since they were happening between the best of friends’. 

Minghao joined Seungcheol, sitting down next to him and placing a warm hand on his back. 

“Are you okay, hyung?”, he asked sweetly, a look of tender concern on his face. Minghao always worried so much about them all and he hated fighting with a passion. It was bad enough that he had been around fights so often in the past days. Seungcheol didn’t want to involve him anymore, place more stress on him. It was fine, relaxing really, to have Minghao take care of him in stressful times but right now Minghao had his own plate overflowing. Seungcheol didn’t need him to focus on anybody else but himself.

Seungcheol groaned and sat up, running a hand over his face. “Yeah, don’t worry about me. Are you okay? Hoshi-yah said you and Junnie fought too?”

Instantly Minghao froze, his smile turning icy and his voice cold. “Hoshi-hyung shouldn’t have blabbed. It’s fine.”

And then after a moment. “Why do you always do this, hyung?”

Seungcheol was confused, not sure where Minghao was going with the conversation.

“Do what?”

“You know what I mean, hyung! You always push away your feelings and focus on us. It’s not healthy.”

Taken aback and not having expected Minghao to turn this on him, Seungcheol took a moment too long to answer. He finally opened his mouth to reply but Minghao was quicker.

“You know what? I can’t deal with you right now, hyung. See you later.” With those words Minghao pushed himself away from the table and left, leaving Seungcheol in stunned silence.

“What was that?”, Joshua questioned as he entered the kitchen, directly heading to the coffee machine. “Minghao looked pissed.”

“I actually have no idea”, Seungcheol replied, his chest feeling tight. He didn’t want to be pulled into the arguments. He needed to stand above them if it turned out that more members were having a hard time. He needed to be the strong support, not somebody who made it worse. Besides, he didn’t understand what Minghao meant. Why would the leader focus on himself when everybody else was fighting?

He prayed they would get through the day without any more issues but he knew it would not happen.

💎

By lunch, Seungkwan and Dino had yelled at each other again, Wonwoo and Mingyu had not spoken to each other yet, Jun and Minghao were still ignoring each other and Vernon was pushing away anybody that approached him. Hoshi was torn between all arguments and soothing bruised feelings, Seokmin trying to help lighten the mood but failing, Jeonghan was pestering everybody to listen to one another and Joshua was ignoring that anything was going on. Seungcheol was at his wit’s end and Woozi had not even been seen the whole day. 

“We need to talk.” Jeonghan walked over to them determinedly, pointing at Seungcheol and Joshua who were sitting together in the cafeteria. “Now.”

Seungcheol nodded. Joshua was less enthusiastic but followed them into a small meeting room that Jeonghan had apparently made sure was reserved for them. Or maybe he hadn’t and was just taking his chances. They could never be sure with him.

“It can’t go on like this”, Jeonghan said as soon as he closed the door behind them. “We need to do something.”

He sat down across from Joshua and Seungcheol, looking haggard and torn. Even his hair wasn’t shining as usual. Somehow he looked defeated and determined at the same time.

“Hannie”, Joshua started but Jeonghan interrupted him. 

“No. We need to solve this. Have you seen them? Have you seen us? We are falling apart.”

Joshua shrugged. “Fights happen. I say, let it run its course.”

“Run its course? Are you not seeing what I am seeing?” Jeonghan sounded incredulous, in disbelief. “Seungkwannie cried himself to sleep last night. Hoshi-yah is so stressed about the fights he barely slept at all. Vernonie is pulling away from us and isolating himself, blaming himself for everything. I don’t know what is going on between Junnie and Myungho-yah but they avoid each other like the plague. Channie wouldn’t admit to anything but he looks like he didn’t sleep either and Seokminnie is really worried about him, all of them. It’s tearing him apart, all the fighting. And Wonwoo-yah and Mingyu-yah? I have never seen them fight before. We cannot let this keep going on. Cheollie, what do you think?”

Seungcheol sighed. “It’s Wednesday, right? We have a free day on Saturday, let’s talk with all of them if they haven’t resolved it on their own by then.”

Jeonghan frowned, brushing his hair out of his face. “Already nearly everybody is fighting with somebody. I don’t want to imagine how bad it will be on Saturday if fights keep breaking out. Already Mingyu is on Seungkwannie’s side while he’s annoyed with Junnie for something who is also on Seungkwannie’s side apparently. Everybody is taking sides and because of that arguments keep happening more and more. They are all tense and angry.”

“Well, what do you propose?”, Seungcheol asked, feeling exhaustion hit him like a truck. He was so tired. He hated being the leader in situations like this. He never wanted to act like a parenting figure, or worse a dictator, if he forced them to talk. He hoped Jeonghan had a fool-proof plan. He didn’t want things to escalate further.

“We need to change our schedule. I don’t know, cancel a dance practice and use the time to talk it out.”

Before Seungcheol could answer, Joshua interjected. “And what do we tell them? None of them are listening to each other or us right now. I still say we let them do it on their own. We can’t force talks and apologies. They will do that when they are ready. What use is it if they apologize and don’t mean it? We will just have the next series of fights happening.”

“Then we need to do it right”, Jeonghan said, bowing his head in the way he always did when stressed. “We can’t let this go on.”

“What do you propose? Despite common belief we aren’t their parents and they are adults. As long as the schedules don’t suffer under it…”

“The schedules are already suffering”, Jeonghan cried out, jumping up from his chair. A grimace of emotional pain scared his face for a second and he balled his hands. He took a deep breath and started pacing the length of the room. “The recording was supposed to be a nice day together. Dance practice was supposed to be helpful not to be stopped in the middle of it because they were at each other's throats'. Since when do you care more about the schedules than the members anyways?”

“I don’t”, Joshua replied stiffly but Seungcheol saw his eyes grow bigger as they did when he got angry. “I care about the members a lot. That’s why I don’t want to force things. It won’t help and it could backfire.”

“If we care we need to help. They are hurting”, Jeonghan yelled, desperately. “Cheollie, say something.”

Seungcheol never ever wanted to be caught in the middle of an argument between his two best friends. But it seemed like he had little choice.

“As I said before”, he explained, “we wait until Saturday. Time and space is important. I can’t just go to a manager and demand we cancel a schedule because the members are having hissy fits. We’re all tired, we’re all nervous about the comeback. Involving the managers might hurt the members more.”

“The managers are already involved! Hyunseok-hyung and Jisu-noona already asked what happened. They aren’t blind and deaf. Even if they were, they would notice the tension. We have some schedules that can be cut short, you’re just too afraid to ask! Do you truly care about your leader-title and reputation more than the members? I thought better of you, Choi Seungcheol.”

“Jeonghan! Enough. I don’t appreciate you talking to me like that”, Seungcheol called, feeling unwanted anger rising in himself. “I understand your worries. But we can’t just head into this without a plan.” He sighed, softening his voice. “You know I care about the members as much as you do. As much as Shua does.”

“Then show it!”, Jeonghan said in a low voice. “You know what? Do what you want! Ignore them. Let them fight. Don’t come crying to me when we all break apart. Good to know you are favoring Joshua over me, too.”

If Seungcheol hadn’t been so angry he probably would have reacted more to the hurt and fear in Jeonghan’s voice at the last part than the words he spat. He had the same fears as Jeonghan, as Joshua. As they all had. But there was no picking sides in this, it was just different approaches they were taking according to their personalities. Surely, Jeonghan knew that too. Surely he knew that it wasn’t favoritism that was happening.

“Hannie…”, Joshua tried, reaching out a hand to their friend but Jeonghan had already turned his back. With a few big steps he reached the door and slammed it shut behind himself.

“Fuck”, Seungcheol mumbled. 

Joshua stayed silent.

Part Three: Scheduled for 09.12

Preview: Seungcheol felt sick at the manager’s words. They hit home and, while a few days ago they seemed unimaginable, right now … they didn’t feel like a team. I love my team, I love my crew seemed like a big, fat lie.

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[neutron-stars-collision]

Waiting for the Night

Bruce Wayne x F!Reader

Chapter 19 - You'll be the promise, I'll be the scream

Masterlist; Chapter 18 Summary: The aftermath of Riddler's words. You're forced to face the fears and talk to Bruce. Neither of those is an easy feat... Warnings: 18+; tones of angst, R's internal crisis and... them smuts ✨ Author's Notes: Woo, she made it! Incredible! Outstanding achievement. Seriously, though, I know it's been a while. To compensate - this one is long. Like 10.7k long. And it's also explicit bc them idiots needed tension release of the traditional kind :))))) It's probably only one chapter and epilogue left now so... getting emotional. A little bit. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now... buckle up, 'kay? You're gonna needed. (I know they're idiots). Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think? 💕 Tag list: Tag list: @thecraziestcrayon, @kookiewastolen, @imimsy, @tuskens-mando, @sugarcoated-lame, @blue-aconite, @hypnoash, @rabbitdictionary, @nicklet94, @mcrmarvelloki, @shimmeringgrim, @ttae-yong, @freyadruid, @siriuslydestiny, @ms-dont-care, @raphaelaisabella, @itsmytimetoodream, @brightjimini, @castellandiangelo, @grunge-n-roses5 (let me know if you wanted to be removed/added).

(gif credit: @makoto-shinkai)

Returning to the Wayne Tower from Arkham felt like a fevered dream. You could barely remember how you got there from the street by your house where you had directed Gordon to drop you off. Only that no matter the distance from the prison, your heart did not get any lighter.

Riddler’s words still rang out loud and clear in your head, slowly driving you crazy. The tower was blessedly quiet and empty when you reached the study and collapsed into the armchair. One look at the phone screen and a quick read of the only text that awaited you confirmed the expected – Bruce was already out and would be back later. Probably much later. Which was good. The last thing you wanted was to be confronted by someone you could not lie to. All hopes shattered when Dory walked into the room not a quarter of an hour later.

It was easy to pretend then, quickly falling back into the role you knew well. You smiled when appropriate, forced down a meal that could not be contested and produced a lie that worked in your favour. Dory had no clue. It did not matter that your heart was breaking beneath the performance. You were stellar, as always.

It was a relief to have her retire to her room not long after you finished eating. You were finally alone. It was a no-brainer to turn down all the unnecessary lights and carry your stuff to your bedroom, closing the door behind your back. You got as far as sitting down at the foot of the bed when your brain caught up. The memories came rushing in, Riddler’s voice as clear as in that cell, taunting you just like he did. What if he was right? What if your father was a monster, and you were following in his footsteps? There were no answers. Frantic brain kept running through all the pieces you had ever written, quickly finding those Nashton could have meant. The times when you were relentless, pushed too far. The times when you should have stopped. The solution was simple – he was right.

The steady stream of tears rushed down your cheeks, smudging the mascara you had recklessly put on in the morning as you lied down on the covers and curled up. The weight on your chest was not going anywhere, making it hard to breathe. Near impossible to leave the spiral once you got absorbed in it. An endless onslaught of self-hatred poured out along with the quiet sobs that wrecked your frame. Each thought felt like your heart being ripped out, piece by piece. The smithereens bled onto the duvet as your mind circled back, time and time again, to that one idea.

The worst one of them all. The fear that you would hurt Bruce. That it was all you were capable of doing, destroying what you held dear. Perhaps it had already happened; the guillotine was let loose. About to slash your neck, once and for all. Maybe it would’ve been for the best.

After a while, the tears had dried out, the parched throat begging for a glass of water. But you did not want to move. Did not seem to have the strength to do so. Slowly, you raised your head enough to see the inky skies outside, for once free from rain clouds. The moon peered shyly into the room, painting the floor silver. The thoughts were still there. The pain had not left.

You were almost close to dozing off from exhaustion when faint creaks of the floorboards in the corridor outside made you open your eyes. Someone stopped right by your door, hesitating. Somehow, you knew who it was before they decided and pressed the handle. For a split second, you mourned that you had left the door unlocked. Then Bruce stepped inside, and all you could do was close your eyes against the sudden pinprick of pain in your chest. The silence was deafening. Almost enough to make you speak and answer the thousands of questions he seemed to have. You never got quite that far.

As if reading your mind, Bruce closed the door behind his back and slowly approached the bed. His body was tense, uncertainty visible in every move. You could only imagine what he saw when he came closer. You did not dare to move, passively staring at his approaching form until Bruce stopped two feet away from the bed and raised his head. Enough so you could see his expression. The haunting blue eyes were now flooded with concern and fear. Before you could dwell on what you saw, Bruce spoke:

“What happened?” his husky tone dripped with worry, making you wince from the sound alone.

But you did not feel like giving in to him just yet.

“You could’ve knocked, you know” aware of the tear tracks tainted with ink from the mascara on your cheeks, you did your best to glower at him.

Judging by the defeated look you got back, it was a futile attempt. Bruce took another step closer, visibly pondering whether he should sit next to your slumped form.

“Come on, don’t give me that. What happened?” his tone softened a notch, enough to make your heart pick up its pace.

And to make you sit up, silently offering space should he want it. Training your mind on the floor, you whispered:

“I met him” you could hear the unspoken question in the heavy silence, forcing you to add, quieter still, “Riddler,”

Bruce gasped as if he had been hit in the stomach.

“What? Why?” the disbelief in his voice made you look up.

Seeing the horror on his face as if he could not believe what he was hearing. It was enough to make shame bloom in the pit of your stomach, yet again making you wish you could disappear. But there was no divine intervention. No opening pit in the ground or a merciful hand to end it for you. As if subconsciously wanting to make the pain worse, you forced yourself to look him in the eye as you spoke:

“Because I wanted to. I was curious, so I asked Gordon to take me to him after the witness statement” as soon as the words were out, you could feel the tears welling up.

Because hearing it said like that spoke volumes about your idiocy. How it all could have been avoided if not for your lack of logic. It was not surprising to hear Bruce groan in response,

“Jesus Christ,” a muttered curse dropped from his lips as he covered his face with his hands for a beat, then raised it to fix you with a glare, “Why did you-”

Somehow you knew what was coming. And that you would not survive it if Bruce scolded you, pointing out all the ways you had fucked up and the reasons why you could never be enough. For him or anybody else. So, you interjected his incoming rant with the wavering voice:

“Please, don’t. I know it was stupid, and it definitely taught me a lesson” it was impossible to hide the pain from your tone, keen on getting the message, “So if you’re going to berate me, I’d rather you left” what was supposed to be a stern warning, never got that far.

Instead, the condition sounded weak, like a thinly veiled plea for mercy. And it was not wrong. To your immense surprise, it worked. Bruce visibly winced as his words seemed to catch up with him.

“God, no. I’m sorry” seeing immediate contrition felt good enough for you to nod your head in agreement to his silent question, allowing Bruce to sit down and finish the thought, “I just… What did he say to you?” he kept his distance yet the softness in his voice felt like a reassuring hand-squeeze.

You glanced at him, hoping to convey the gratitude. But even that was not enough to make you eager to tell the tale.

“Many, many things” a choice for the moment was a tentative opening.

A quick attempt at dodging the question if Bruce allowed you.

“I’ve got time,” he didn’t; leaning back a fraction to appear at ease.

To highlight that he wanted to hear it, that he had nothing else to do but listen to your sob story of naivety and stupid decisions. From the look in his eyes, you could tell you had no other choice. Letting out a sigh as a preamble, you shifted your gaze back onto the floor. You could already feel the familiar burn of tears.

“Um… in a nutshell, my father was a monster directly responsible for what happened to your mother. I’m exactly the same, devoted to the job so much that nothing else matters” you heard Bruce’s sharp breath intake but did not grant yourself the right to look at him, “He asked when am I going to destroy you and finish what my father started” the wobbling voice cracked as new tears streamed down your cheeks again, ever so eager to make an appearance; they forced out the most vulnerable of confessions you could give him then “The worst part is that I think he’s right” there it is, as always.

Without giving you time to dissolve into sobs that choked up your throat, Bruce moved, his careful fingers lifting your chin so he could lock his eyes with yours. There was no escape from his knowing stare as he delicately swept his thumb over your tear-streaked cheeks before dipping lower to trace your cupid’s bow. Unable to hold his tender gaze, you closed your eyes.

“He’s not,” the gentle whisper was filled with conviction.

But it was not enough to convince you. Not quite enough to stop the vicious thoughts.

“But-” your protest got silenced before you could get a word out.

As if knowing what you needed, Bruce leaned in to press a lingering kiss to your forehead before squeezing your hand with his unoccupied palm. Reluctantly you opened your eyes, realising the intended effect. He had your full attention.

“Listen to me. The point of that conversation was to rile you up. To make you believe those things and go insane because of them,” his firm tone captured your mind, as did the heat in his eyes, betraying the anger Bruce felt on your behalf, “He loved every second because this is what he does. He gets under your skin, feeds on guilt and insecurities and amplifies them” tangling his fingers with yours in what felt like second nature, Bruce allowed the passion give way to fondness, strengthening the message “But the main point is that it was all bullshit” on its own accord, your mouth twisted into a weak smile, triggered by something as unusual as hearing him curse “Nothing else” he finished the speech with another hand squeeze as he raised your joined hands to his mouth and kissed your knuckles.

The gesture, along with everything he said, made your head spin. The logical part of your brain knew Bruce was right. But it was a small fraction of an overall emotional consciousness, which would not be settled quite so easily. You hoped that perhaps the longer you stared into his eyes, the more convinced you would become.

Leaning into his palm that still cupped your cheek, you whispered a question:

“How can you be so sure?” one that you were scared to ask but still needed to know.

To understand what it was that Bruce saw, that you were blind to. Why he trusted you when he should not?

“Because I know you,” his confidence did not waver as he offered the response without hesitancy, “I know that you care about everyone around you, that you would do anything for those you hold dear. And that, above all, you’re a good person” Bruce concluded his speech with another kiss on your forehead, a rare sure smile hiding in the corners of his lips.

At once, the vicious voices in your head grew silent, emptying the space of all that was not affection and gratitude. Even if just for a moment. The prickling tears were not going anywhere as you closed your eyes, relishing the feeling of Bruce’s hand clasping yours. For the first time during that long day, you felt the stifling weight lift off your chest.

“Shit, you’re going to make me cry, sweetheart” cracking a weak joke, you risked a glance at his reaction following the nickname.

Bruce grinned, no longer pretending to mask the fondness with an eye roll. Even with the haze of tiredness quickly descending over your head, you greatly appreciated the change. Enough so to creep a little closer still and lean your head on his shoulder, covertly inhaling the familiar scent of laundry detergent, expensive cologne and dampness of the terminus. A strange concoction that already felt like home, although you would never admit it.

“I mean it, though” Bruce gently rested his head on top of yours, cementing the sentiment and leaving another rush of warmth burning in your chest.

It was hard to fill the silence with anything else. Save maybe for the things you couldn’t say. After a beat, you found the safest question and gave it a voice:

“How- Um… How was your day?” the pathetic quiver shook your vocal cords.

Before you could give yourself a moment to marinate in shame while listening to his answer, Bruce carefully extracted himself from your embrace and stood up. Upon your questioning look, he murmured:

“One sec” already moving towards the ensuite, he kept speaking, “Selina asked to meet up with me, so I went to see her… She’s left the city, actually” you stared as Bruce entered the room a few seconds later, clutching a bottle of micellar water and cotton pads.

It took another three seconds for his words to sink in and for you to understand them. What it meant and how it made you feel. Strange. Conflicted. Fucking confused, among others. The attempts at words got stuck in your throat when Bruce sat next to you on the duvet and wordlessly prepared the make-up remover, waiting for you to tip your chin forward. Your body moved before you told it to, closing the gap yet again. He did not hesitate before leaning in to begin wiping off the mess from your face with a look of pure concentration.

It felt strange to be under his scrutiny, mindful of all the different issues you could catalogue on your face. Of all the ways Bruce could find you lacking. Not enough compared with someone like her.

“Oh… okay,” remembering that it was your turn to speak, you blurted out the only question you desperately needed to be answered, “You didn’t want to go with her?”

There. Your heart lying in his open palm, ready to be crushed. Not for the first time since you had met.

Bruce took his time, meticulously wiping off the smudged mascara from underneath your eyes, his gaze never straying from your face. You did not dare think about what he must have seen there.

“No, of course not” cutting through the uncertainty, Bruce offered a reply that gave no room for interpretation, at once meeting your worried look with a ready explanation, “I spent too much time fighting for Gotham just to leave it on a whim” he swallowed hard as if finally caught by the doubts, clearly debating whether what he wanted to say next should be spoken; then, he made up his mind “Plus, it was never like that between us” the meaningful look was impossible to miss, as was the unspoken implication of what he meant; the combination was enough to fortify the blush on your cheeks  “She’s glad you’re fine after what happened. And that you’re staying too,”

The final comment was another surprise, spiking your heart rate to a faster beat. Because it suggested one thing you did not consider – Bruce talked with Selina about you. That you were important enough to be a conversation topic. Selina took her time to think about what she witnessed.

And that Bruce wasn’t going to leave. You still had time, for better or worse. Using the tidbit of information as your needed courage inspiration, you reached your hand to his, curling your fingers around his wrist. Just to keep him close.

“Are you? Happy I’m staying?” the thin band of skin-to-skin contact offered the push you needed to ask what you wanted.

The second most important matter after Bruce staying in Gotham.

Bruce used the final clean cotton wipe to erase the dried-up coats of foundation from the bridge of your nose and lowered his hands, freeing your face. His blue eyes stayed right where they were, sometimes meeting yours, at other times fixed on your mouth. Enough so to wreak havoc in your head and heart. At last, Bruce’s lips quirked into a small smile, his other hand coming down to cover yours, still encircling his wrist. The light pressure of his touch was enough to ground you, making the wait for his answer seem bearable.

“More than I know how to express” even with the anticipation, his reply took you by surprise, making you gasp as you were suddenly too bashful to look him in the eye; and for a good reason, “The meeting with Selina made me think about some things and…” you glanced up, the breath caught in your throat as you watched Bruce ponder something again; it was impossible to tell where it was leading “Before you, I was never brave enough to want. The feeling was there, the desires and the needs, but I never gave in to them. Slowly, I learnt how to repress it and shove it so far down that I almost thought I’m resistant” oh; your head flew back up fast enough to make your spine crack, head unable to comprehend the meaning without getting overwhelmed, only to find Bruce staring right back; his blue eyes sure and firm in their unwavering belief “Then you happened” oh.

The confession felt important. Crucial in its significance, like nothing else before it. Tangible like the pressure of his hand over yours and the heat of his body across the narrow space. Terrifying like the depths of feelings in your heart and head. You did not know what made him say it. Caught speechless by the admission, you could only whisper:

“Sorry,” shyly biting into your lower lip until Bruce tugged it free.

Your tender skin was burning from his touch. Thousand more apologies for turning his life on its head died on your tongue as you felt the familiar tension rise. Suddenly it was hard to find reasons why you should not close that gap. Why you should not keep touching him, giving whatever he wanted from you. The resolution was waiting in the wings for you to take the plunge whenever you were ready.

“I never said it’s a bad thing” Bruce’s smile only brightened as he brushed away your foolish apology while his fingers drifted downwards to trail over the skin of your neck, “Just that sometimes it’s difficult to stop myself from reaching for what I want” there was an implication in his voice, a pointer towards what he was too scared to say.

Perhaps the heat of his touch sparking the fire in your veins made you decide. Reach for the opening he created and take what he was offering. It was not difficult to breach the gap and take hold of his hand to drag it down, pressing his palm to your chest, right over the heart. Taking pleasure in the hungry look in his eyes, you leaned in close to whisper:

“You don’t have to stop” keeping your gaze locked onto his mouth, you added, “Not with me” then, with the both of you suspended millimetres away from the kiss that you could already feel, you posed the question, “What do you want, Bruce?”

Hoping he would get the message that whatever was about to happen had to be his request. Only then could you let go of the uncertainty and fear ruling your head. The heart was kept hostage. Bruce let out a shuddered breath, fanning your parted lips with a wisp of air. His nose nudged yours as he struggled to look you in the eye before replying:

“You” his free hand wandered down to touch your hip as Bruce leaned against you, slowly pushing you down onto the mattress, “Everything. I-”

Too scared to let him speak, you closed his mouth with a kiss, finally closing the gap. Releasing your heart from the captivity of the mind. Sealing your fate with a careful caress of your lips over his. Taking Bruce’s broken gasp and pulling him further into the embrace so that he had no choice but to surrender. Cover your body with his, enveloping your shaking bones with the warmth you have craved. That kiss was meant to be slow and direct in its meaning. You knew he understood when you broke the contact with a quiet whimper, your eyes roaming over his stunned features. The blown-out pupils and reddened lips drew your attention like magnets and made it so much easier to find the necessary words:

“You can have everything,” swallowing past the unspeakable, you met his gaze with vulnerability, “Please,” now there was nothing to hide.

He had it all, waiting for his move. The troubled blue eyes searched yours for a beat as if looking for uncertainty he expected to follow your admission.

“Are- are you sure?” the hesitant question confirmed your suspicions but was contested by his seemingly unconscious touch.

Fingers running down the slope of your thigh, now hitched over his hip to keep him in place. Adding fuel to the fire and distracting your mind from anything else but Bruce. Even with the fog steadily rising, his question was ridiculous. Without wasting time speaking, you used the empty hand to grab his shirt and pull him down to meet your lips. Again.

Only, this time, you did not idle, instantly opening your mouth and prodding his open with your curious tongue. Swiping against his tongue in a well-practised dance, exploring the inside of his mouth. All the moves were familiar; all elicited a gasp, a tightening hand touching your hip. All increased the temperature till all you wanted to do was make sure Bruce took off his clothes soon. So you could touch him how you wanted to.

Motivated by the thought, you broke the kiss and leaned back far enough to huff out a question:

“Was that good enough for you?” making sure to throw a cheeky smile, you admired the blush blooming upon his cheeks.

The kiss did what you needed it to. Bruce smiled back, the last tint of uncertainty vanishing from his face as you cupped his cheek. Fingertips tracing the sharp cheekbones and the fading bruises. He was beautiful. A fact that still sometimes astonished you after years of hearing about Bruce Wayne and seeing grainy photographs in the paper and online. Along with the idea that one day you would be this close to him. Close enough to touch and tear your heart apart in the process.

Ignoring the melancholy that threatened to steal the moment from your hands, you swept your thumb over Bruce’s bottom lip. Drawing both of you back in. Shaking himself awake, Bruce’s hand ventured up from your hip to trace the hem of your shirt and then dove underneath. Warm fingers skating over your skin, helping the chills settle in and raise the goosebumps. His attentive eyes watched you, noticing every shiver you tried to fight off. Pondering the mystery of what was going to happen next. One thing was clear – this time Bruce had it all figured out. He knew exactly how to get you to the edge of insanity. And then beyond.

Once he leaned in, slowly making his path from the corner of your mouth to your neck with pecks, you knew it was over. With each carefully laid peck, your body trembled. Each ignited a fire in your veins only Bruce could smother. Your hand tightened its hold over his shoulder; legs immediately accommodated to fit his body in the cradle of your thighs. Heart hammering between your ribs, begging to be listened to. To keep him like this forever.

Nosing at your pulse point, Bruce licked the spot, making your hips buck to meet his as if on autopilot. Making you gasp and mutter a curse that never quite got its voice. Only for him to sink his teeth in a shallow bite. Enough for your body to jerk upright, a pathetic breathless moan slipping through the gritted teeth. Enough for you to dig your nails into his arm and bunch up the shirt to find his bare skin. Trace the scars and the outline of muscles. You already felt like you were losing your mind. As if summoned by your hazy thoughts, Bruce concluded his exploration with a final teasing kiss over your collarbone and raised his head to ask:

“Can I?” the enigmatic question was easily explained by his tentative hand tracing the hem of your shirt.

Asking to give him what was already his. You appreciated the thoughtfulness. But there was one condition you had to voice before you gave in.

“Only if you take this off too” tugging at his t-shirt, you whispered out the pitiful wish, “I really want to touch you” a wave of shame threatened to rise, but it never got anywhere.

Not with the way Bruce looked at you after the admission. His lips stretched into a soft smile. Eyes awed and sparkling like rarely before. As if what you said was something he had been aching to hear.

Without another word, Bruce kissed your forehead before getting up on his knees to pull off the shirt in one move. You never saw quite where he threw the clothing. It did not matter that you already saw him like this many times before. Nor that now, after the few harrowing days, his torso was littered with an array of bruises and cuts. Your hand darted out as if controlled with a mind of its own, only just managing to graze the skin of his abdomen. The dark hair trail disappearing into the waistline of his trousers drew your attention like it always did. A simple touch earned you a full-body shiver quickly masked with an outstretched hand, inviting you to join him.

You did not waste a second to get up on your knees and close that awful gap. To meet Bruce’s gaze with bravery you did not feel and take off your shirt. Feeling the drafty air over your naked skin, you moved to cover up, but he stopped you with a firm grip on the forearm. Blue eyes locked stares with yours, ceasing all the chatter running through your brain. Till it was just Bruce. His reassuring touch, running up your arms to trace the bra straps and a silent question you knew he was asking. With the staccato in your chest, you nodded. Just once. Already feeling the rush of blood to your head. It all felt different. More profound. As if every action mattered.

The thought was both terrifying and exhilarating. Despite the ridiculous fears, you nodded and watched with bated breath as Bruce carefully lowered both straps and reached around your back to undo the clasp. Another rush of cold air could be only partially blamed for the shiver that wrecked your frame when the bra slipped down. Leaving your torso bare under Bruce’s watchful gaze. His fingertips skated over your tender skin, slowly circling the dark pink areolas and making you gasp. But it was not enough to shut up the brain. Your hand darted out to stop his meticulous study with a grasp around the wrist. His head snapped back up. An instant crease between the eyebrows brought a flush of softness to your heart.

“What’s wrong?” Bruce’s question made you wince.

You could not tell him. Couldn’t-

“Nothing,” the reply was automatic, your tongue falling into the familiar pattern to make up the word, hoping it would be enough to fool him. It wasn’t. You knew it as soon as you saw his brow twitch with disbelief, soothing circles traced into your upper arm acting as a further reason to let it all spill out, “I’m just… feeling weirdly shy, I guess” it was hard to meet his eyes.

Yet the crux of the issue had been laid out. It fell between you, disappearing into the weighted silence. You knew it made no sense. That Bruce had already seen you. Hell, he’s seen so much more. Still. The head did not want to listen to reason. The once hopeful dreams of getting lost in him tonight already seemed improbable. Because how does one get lost when the head and the heart are still in it?

“Why?” another question brought your back to the scene, his measured voice quickly becoming the lifeline you needed.

The string pulling you back from the spiral and forcing you to talk how you probably should have at the beginning. Your breath caught in your chest when you saw the depth of understanding in his gaze. And no judgement or ire. Almost as if, for Bruce, nothing would change no matter what you said next. Almost as if- No. He’d never. You ignored the idea before it could spread like a disease. Instead, you steeled your spine and gathered the courage to answer his question. To reveal a fraction of the truth, as he deserved.

“Because it matters how you see me” your eyes turned glossy as they focused on his face.

It was more than accurate. An admission long overdue. Somehow you could tell Bruce knew that. His hands cupped your face between his palms in a tender hold. Thumbs softly stroke your cheeks as he leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead before speaking:

“Then there’s no need to worry” his nose brushed against yours in a gentle caress, letting the whisper carry his words through the narrow space between you, “You’re perfect” his gaze flickered from your eyes to your mouth, but it was easy to miss.

Christ. You wanted to say something else. To protest, ask him how he can tell when you are the only woman he has ever been with. But it would not do. Your heart would never let you. No, it already took the compliment and ran with it, thrashing in your chest like a caged bird. There was nothing you could do.

Nothing, but throw your arms around his neck and dive in for a kiss. Bruce was waiting for you, opening his mouth under yours as soon as you pressed your lips against his. Not willing to waste time already running out, you let your tongue dart out. Swirling it around his and then sucking, enough to make him gasp and pull you closer. His arms enveloped your body, somehow making everything seem fine. Complete, even. You kissed him till there was barely any oxygen left, and you had to separate, eagerly exchanging pecks as you both caught your breath. His taste had filled your mouth, getting rid of the salty tint of tears and the bitterness of coffee. Everything was just Bruce. Like always.

Without thinking, you lowered your head to press another kiss to his chin and then below, tracing the slope of his throat with careful pecks. Bruce’s grip tightened over your waist as a broken groan reverberated through his chest. You could almost feel the sound in your bones. The thought rushed through your body like a bolt of lightning, venturing down between your thighs to a spot you had tried your hardest to ignore. But no longer could. Your core throbbed with the persistent desire as wetness spilt onto the gusset of your panties. You did not have to search your heart to know what you wanted.

That need made you bold enough to swipe your tongue in a broad stroke over Bruce’s throat. Collecting the low moan, he let out with satisfaction. As you sunk your teeth into a shallow bite over his pulse point, the feeling grew tenfold inspired by the noises that Bruce could not to stop. As if you were driving him insane. Leaning back to study your work, you knew the mark on his skin would stay. That it would be something he could remember you by, no matter what came after.

Before you could dive back in to continue, Bruce hooked his fingers under your chin to gently make you raise your head and look at him. So you could see the flushed cheeks and swollen lips parted to let out strained breaths. Following a will of their own, your eyes flicked to his waist and then below, checking whether he was just as affected as you were. What you found only made the frenzy worse. As did his words, accompanied by deliberate touch running along the waistline of your trousers:

“I want to taste you,” Bruce leaned in close, his breath tickling the shell of your ear.

But you hardly registered it, brain caught up on what he said. Because that… that was quite something. Something you never expected to hear from him. The surprise must have painted across your face, your gaping mouth left open and eyes staring at him for too long. Until your brain thawed enough for you to speak (or stutter):

“Christ… Bruce, you can’t say things like- Okay, yeah” the string of words made only a little sense, but you compensated with a stupid grin and a hasty nod; the anticipatory shiver already coursing through your body as you met his gaze to add, “A sensible lady never says no that” your lips curled into a smirk, gleefully taking note of his mirroring smile, only then it was time for a check in “Do you really want to?” your hand run up his chest to curl around his shoulder.

Feeling the warmth of his skin and the promise of what he offered. But you could not just let him do it. That would have been too selfish. Even if Bruce seemed pretty convinced. The hunger in his eyes stole your breath as he took your verbal consent and hooked his fingers under the waistline of your trousers. Never straying from your gaze, he gave the reply:

“Yes,” his new confidence could easily be your outdoing.

But it could have also been the unceremonial way he pushed you down onto the bed, your body hitting the mattress with a quiet thud. A confirmation enough for the last of your worries.

“Okay,” a nervous giggle broke out from your chest as you watched him lean over you, those blue eyes darker than usual “Blow my mind, sweetheart” there were no doubts in your mind that he was capable.

It was proven as soon as Bruce finished undressing you, the quick work perfected with his lingering touch had you breathing shallowly. The feeling grew once you were lying naked before him, with nothing but the soaked panties to save you from his intense gaze. From the heat of his eyes, caressing what was already familiar. Tracing the paths his hands would soon follow. Unable to withstand the scrutiny much longer, you reached up to get him close, capturing his mouth with a kiss Bruce had long anticipated. He opened his lips underneath yours without a second wasted while letting his hands venture down your stomach, short fingernails emblazoning your tender skin. Before you knew it, he had tugged down your underwear, leaving you bare. The strange shyness had breached the surface again as you broke the kiss with a gasp and met his gaze with wide eyes. Silently asking for mercy.

One quick kiss and a nod had to be enough for you as Bruce gave your nose a playful nudge, his hand delving between your thighs without another warning. Your body shuddered upon his touch, cheeks turning scarlet once you realised how wet you were. Bruce’s surprise was evident in the slight hitch in his breathing, almost disguised by an inhale.

Your slick covered his fingers to the knuckles as he meticulously learnt to play you how you needed. At first, only stroking your clit with a feather-like touch, then circling your entrance, spreading your arousal, and making your thighs shake. It was already bad. And it could only get worse. For your dignity, that is. Sweat pearled on your forehead as you watched Bruce lower himself down your body, placing pecks along your abdomen. He settled between your thighs, the muscles on his back flexing under the skin in the faint light of the bedroom. As if unconsciously acting on his instincts, Bruce pressed a kiss to the inside of your left thigh, quickly following it with another one on the right thigh. Both kisses burned your skin like a hot poker. The sensation culminated in the apex of your thighs, in the frustrating throbbing you could hardly ignore anymore. But you did not have to.

Bruce met your gaze, seeking consent for the final time. With no words found, save for the ones you could never tell out loud, you nodded, impatiently brushing away the stray strands of hair that fell into your eyes. You wanted to see him. That first glimpse of Bruce diving between your legs with his head bowed was reason enough. As was the way his hands curled around your thighs, keeping them apart and spread. Leaving you exposed and shaking with want. All the faintest doubts disappeared when his tongue touched your clit in a kitten stroke. Your body jerked upright, kept in place only with Bruce’s steel grip. He repeated the move, drawing out a moan you could not hold in. Setting your blood on fire. Christ. A thousand curses and endearments rose in your throat but were desperately stifled by your waning self-control. You knew it would not last long.

The first blow came with Bruce’s skilful tongue circling your clit, learning all the different ways to make you tremble. He was a good listener, taking all the cues you were leaving and changing his technique to fit your needs. Searching for grounding, you sank your fingers in his hair and pulled. Bruce did not seem to mind, briefly stopping his feast to press a lingering kiss on your thigh. His fingers traced circles onto your skin, soothing the fevered flesh. The unbidden confessions showed up again, choking you with ferocity. Bruce was the one to save you, letting his tongue delve inside you in an exploratory move. One that made your hips buck into his face and tore a shout from your mouth.

Desire shot through your body like a bolt of lightning, bringing a delirious grin onto your face. It was quickly wiped clean as Bruce continued licking into you with passion you never expected from him. Utterly devoted to the task and focused on driving you crazy. A coil tightened in your lower belly, making it much harder to shut up. Making you squirm and trash under his hold. When he interrupted the relentless penetration with a flick of his tongue over your clit, you could not keep quiet.

“God, you- You’re so good” panting out the sentence that barely made sense, you highlighted the sentiment with a sharper tug on his hair.

Making Bruce groan into your core, the sound pushing you down the slippery slope with no way back. From then on, it was only a question of when you would break. Your body burned under his attention. Each point of contact felt like a flame scorching your flesh. Your heart hammered between your ribs, overwhelmed with the multitude of feelings. Pleasure rose and rose until all you could do was gasp his name between moans. Till your head was empty of everything but Bruce. Until the tension snapped, and an explosion filled your vision with white.

“I’m- Fuck,” the curse substituted any words you could have intended to say, but it was enough.

Bruce knew, his hands gripped your legs harder as if to ground you moments before. You came with his name on your lips and your hand gripping his hair. Your core squeezed around his prodding tongue wave after wave as Bruce lapped at your arousal without hesitation. Your thighs trapped his head between them, but he did not seem to mind, helping you ride the aftershocks with patience. As you came to, feeling your body go limp with a sigh, Bruce took his time earnestly licking at your folds. Collecting every drop as if he was hooked already on the taste. You did not dare dwell on that thought too long.

Instead, you searched for his hand to squeeze his palm. He understood the signal, instantly raising his head to find your gaze. You knew the look in your eyes could only be described as wild, with the pupils blown out large. But staring into his darkened blue stare, the realization did not hurt quite so much. His lips and chin were shiny from your arousal; the discovery of the fact sent a shiver down your spine. Bruce took hold of your hand to return the squeeze while his lips stretched into a confident smile. An incredibly attractive look, you had to admit.

“So… I take it, I did good,” emphasizing the word, Bruce smirked, his eyes twinkling.

Despite the embarrassment at what you said, you could not stop the chuckle. The fondness in your heart made its way to your gaze as you attempted a one-sided shrug.

“You broke me” that was an understatement.

But it only made his grin brighter. Without breaking the eye contact Bruce swept his tongue over his lower lip. Collecting the droplets of your come and crawling up to meet you on the bed. There was no mercy for the wicked.

“I can tell” his eyes roamed over your face affectionately, making you want to hide from his attention.

But you chose to meet it straight on, raising your head just enough to capture his lips in a kiss. Only to instantly groan into his mouth when you tasted yourself on his tongue. Bruce’s embrace tightened around your arms as he gathered you into his chest, carefully laying down next to you. And never breaking the kiss that stretched and evolved to fit your needs. Going from hectic and eager to languid. From chaotic to deliberate, and lasting till you were both out of breath, panting against each other’s mouth, unwilling to separate. You made sure you were sufficiently curled against his warm body before you leaned back to put some space and find his gaze again.

The blue eyes were never disappointing, instantly setting your body on fire with the tenderness you found in them. It felt good to be like this with Bruce, able to let go of the fears and inhibitions. Able to give in to the love you could feel coursing in your bloodstream every second you had spent with Bruce. Because even if he did not reciprocate, the memories would still be there. After. Whatever that meant. After you fucked it and told him, probably. With the aching heart beating in your chest and the creeping dread threatening to tear the moment away from you, the hesitant question placed itself on the tip of your tongue:

“Was it how you imagined?” with your eyes trained on his face, you knew when Bruce caught the meaning.

His flushed cheeks turned redder as his arms tightened around your waist, nose nuzzling into your head to buy him some time. And hide from your curious gaze. Bruce Wayne was adorable, and you had no idea what to do with the fact.

“Better,” his reply came in the form of a rushed word and was followed by an admission you almost thought you had misheard, “Think I’m already addicted to you” he raised his head again to meet your eyes.

It was impossible to get rid of the lovesick look on your face as your body shivered with anticipation. That something was still in the air. The tension that assured you Bruce was eager to take another step. You did not have to search your heart and mind to know you wanted it too. Right here and now. No matter the consequences. You knew there was a high chance you would regret it later. But that did not matter now.

Carefully, you placed your hand over his heart, splaying the palm on his chest and replied:

“That’s my line” taking a deep breath to take the plunge, you added, “I- I want you,” your voice wavered, but the revelation could not have been surer.

The sudden shyness was still concerning, rendering you nearly useless with how it had tied your tongue into knots. But with Bruce, those three words were enough. His eyes darkened almost instantly, a hitch in the breath disguised by a kiss pressed to your temple. It was easy to tell what it meant, encouraging you to trail your hand down the broad planes of his chest and stomach. Eliciting another gasp, this time masked with a tentative question:

“Are you sure?” the irony of his asking did not escape you.

The last time it had been you that asked, a thousand times or more, just to ascertain he would not regret it. To be assured that Bruce wanted to give you that crucial part of himself. A gift no one had given you before. Not quite like that. But now, after everything, you appreciated that he checked. Even though you never needed him to.

“Perfectly” you found his eyes to show him the smile on your face while your hand skated lower still, brushing over his abdomen and the trail of hair disappearing into the waistband.

But you did not stop there, letting your fingertips touch his zipper in what you hoped was a smooth enough suggestion. It worked if the way Bruce grabbed your hand was anything to go by. You shot him a questioning glance, waiting for that telling nod to work his belt undone. Once you had it, his eyes dark and hungry, you did not waste time tugging his trousers and boxers down his legs and throwing them somewhere onto the floor. The longer you hesitated, the more likely it would be for your head or heart to catch up. Intervene in what was supposed to be just sex. No strings attached. Or so you liked to tell yourself.

Only when neither of you could hide behind fabric or pretence, the noises in your head grew quiet again. The room was silent as your eyes trailed over his naked body, consuming all the details you had almost forgotten. Though it had only been days. Like the constellation of moles on his hip or the exact markings of his multiple scars. Like the fading bruises, which were all new to your eyes. Like the feel of his hand running over your hip and thigh, drawing you in for a kiss.

You went willingly, melting into his touch and making sure every inch of your body touched his. With your leg in between his, arms thrown around his waist and mouth sealed in a kiss. A kiss that went on for minutes, which felt like hours. An eternity of your tongues sliding against each other’s and tracing the insides of your mouths. Imprinting the taste of him in your mind forever. Slowly, your hands continued exploration, reaching down to touch his length. Carefully yet firmly enough to elicit a groan from his lips and break the kiss. Encouraged by the reaction, you circled his shaft with your hand, putting pressure and making Bruce gasp. It felt powerful.

Bruce met your gaze with dark, hungry eyes, wasting no time to delve a hand between your thighs and spread your arousal over your folds. All for an act of retaliation that had you cursing under your breath. All to make sure you were ready for him. Without stopping your ministrations, you settled to lie on your back, silently extending an invitation. Bruce took it with your name on his lips and his hands on your waist. He shifted to hover over you, knees resting in the cradle of your thighs. The staccato of your heartbeat thumped between your ribs as you laced your hands on the nape of his neck and met his gaze. Nodding once more to assure the both of you. That it was alright. It was what you wanted. Even if it already felt like a mistake.

Bruce entered you with a gasp falling from his lips, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. You exhaled sharply upon the stretch, body instantly accommodating the feel of him. Your legs opened wider, knees coming up to rest over his hips. It was simple, a primal instinct taking over as you looked him in the eyes and let him know it was okay to move. You could only hope that the pain in your heart would ease. That you could ignore it.

At first, it was easy. You did not let your eyes stray from Bruce, noting every expression that flitting across his face. The awe, the pleasure, and the need. Your fingers tangled into his hair while the other hand sought purchase on his shoulder. Feeling the heat radiating from him and warming every cell of your body. Bruce built up a rhythm, thrusting into you with ease and care. Now and then, he leaned in to kiss you, consuming your lips with his. You tried focusing on it, on the delicious friction and the feel of him inside you. On the closeness and the touch. On the familiarity of his kisses, the pressure of his mouth against yours. But it was not enough. Your heart still felt as if it was being torn apart.

With a moan, you hoisted your legs to cross them over his back, bucking your hips into his. Pleasure erupted underneath your eyelids as he hit the spot that made you cry out his name. Bruce’s only answer was a guttural groan reverberating through your joined bodies. Adding to the urgency building between you. To the need to have it faster and sooner and now. You repeated the move, following that instinct. Soon enough, you had Bruce where you wanted him – gasping and panting; his eyes screwed shut with pleasure.

The pressure in your abdomen rose, making your moans louder. Making you rake your fingernails over his back, breaking the skin and marking Bruce as yours. Only he wasn’t. He wasn’t yours. He could never be yours.

Later you wondered what the reason was. What made you break and shatter like glass. Whether it was how Bruce suddenly opened his eyes and looked at you. His gaze full of affection and admiration you did not deserve and never could live up to. Or his gentle touch, caressing the expanse of your thigh. Or the feel of his breath against your gasping mouth, offering kisses you could not claim without risking too much. Or how he whispered your name, the syllables filled with reverence and devotion. Or maybe it was the constant beating of your heart, spelling out the confessions you could never tell him. Blinding you to the pleasure building in your body.

Before you caught up and understood what was happening, it was done. Tears pooled in your eyes and spilt down your cheeks, tinting your swollen lips with salt. A whimper got caught in your throat, fracturing the moment in a second. You never had the time to hide.

As if in slow motion, you could see when Bruce noticed. His body stilled, eyes widening as his forehead scrunched up with concern. His palm returned to your cheek, rendering it impossible to escape his gaze. The heart thrashed in your chest as you scrapped your mind for words, excuses, anything at all. By the time Bruce asked the question, you came up empty:

“Did I hurt you? What’s wrong?” the worry in his voice felt like a knife to your bleeding heart; you tried turning your head into the pillow, but he did not let you, “Hey, don’t-” you’ve had enough, pressing your palm to his mouth, shutting him up.

At last, your brain found what was needed.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine” the lie fell with practised ease as you slipped on the mask you had tried on many times before; it was just another role, another part to play, “I’m good, Bruce. I promise” forcing a saccharine smile, you moved your palm to caress his face “Don’t stop, please” to strengthen the act, you tightened the muscles in your thighs, caging him within your hold.

Praying to every god you had ever heard of that Bruce would listen. That the tears could dry on your face, and he would push you over the precipice. Help you lose yourself in him and the pleasure. Because you could never explain it. Did not dare to try.

“But you’re-” the conflicted look in his eyes was still there, staining every word with unease.

Ripping your heart into shreds. But there was no other way. There was no universe where you could tell him the truth. No world where you could come clean, whisper those three cursed words, and have this. Things like that didn’t happen to people like you. So, you turned to what you knew best. Desperate to have this night, even if it would be the last one. Impatiently, you wiped the tears off your face and hooked your fingers under his chin, bringing Bruce closer. His mouth an inch away from yours, hot breath fanning your lips:

“I need you like this,” your eyes revealed the despair you no longer tried to hide, “I need you to fuck me so I can forget everything else” as soon as the words left your mouth, you knew why it felt wrong.

It was a dirty trick, an appeal to the side Bruce did not yet have under control. But it was the only one you knew would work. And it had to work.

His gasp and the way he twitched inside you confirmed you were right. But nothing eased the bitterness coating your tongue. Not the way Bruce squeezed you tighter, his swallowed curse buried in the heated kiss you did not deny him. When his tongue swept over yours, you wondered whether he could taste your anguish.

Bruce broke the contact too soon, searching your face for any signs of the truths you had been hiding. All for nothing. Pressing your forehead to his, you whispered the final word of encouragement:

“Please” you met his gaze, aware of your glassy eyes and the pain in your tone.

Bruce only nodded and kissed your forehead, resuming the steady rocking of his hips into yours. Almost as if nothing happened at all. Almost. Your inner walls involuntarily clenched around him, drawing out another groan. Making the throbbing between your thighs prominent again. Just like before. Squeezing his waist with your legs, you latched onto his arms, thrusting up to meet his hips with increasing speed. The desire pooled in your veins, making you bite his shoulder. Resulting in a loud moan, which only spurred you on.

Trading bites like kisses along his neck and throat till Bruce was panting above you. His hips stuttered and twitched in what you knew were tell-tale signs he was close. You were not that far behind, freeing one of your hands to find your clit between your bodies. Desperate to follow him.

Your movement made Bruce look up, his eyes instantly finding yours. You should have always known that would be your downfall. How he looked at you, his gaze filled with a myriad of feelings, some indescribable and impossible to identify. That same unknowable emotion there, like many times before. That tenderness and affection that bruised your heart each time. This one was not any different.

The heart thumped in your chest, the pulse in your ears drowning out thoughts and fears till all you could hear were the moans and sighs neither of you held back. Till unbidden words slipped through your tight control.

“Make me yours. I want to be yours” only when they were out, whispered in between whimpers, you realised what you just said.

What it meant. And prayed Bruce did not hear it. Please.

There was no time to dwell on it, for as soon as the words left your mouth Bruce’s hips stuttered. His tempo waned, forcing you to act. To take over the rhythm and buck your hips till you could feel him tense up. Till it was enough. His lips opened with a breathless moan as he came inside you with a sharp gasp, his head hiding in the crook of your neck. Bruce’s body shook in your hold as he rode the high, never once stopping to chant your name into your skin.

With his arms around you still, it was easy to let go. Let yourself fall, knowing Bruce was there to catch you. For once, you weren’t alone. The sensation of his teeth biting into the sensitive skin underneath your ear pushed you over the precipice. Your vision darkened, a sharp cry piercing the silence as your steel grip bruised his bicep. Your tense muscles uncoiled at once as the orgasm coursed through your body, twitching in the aftershocks. You had been burnt to cinder. Ruined for anyone else. Forever.

Unable to move, you sagged into the mattress, eyes closed to stop yourself from doing something stupid. Or stupider than you’ve already done. Faintly, you could feel a reassuring touch running over your arms and waist, lulling the anxieties and fears. Fooling you into the promise of safety. But the mirage was better than the hard truth and the cruel reality. You took a deep breath to steady your heart and opened your eyes.

Only to find Bruce gazing back at you with concern. On its own accord, your hand rose to smooth the wrinkle between his eyebrows. Before you could drop it again, he pressed a kiss to the inside of your wrist. He rolled off your body, putting inches of space between you as he settled on his side.

“Everything alright?” his question brought you back into the moment, anchoring your mind in the present.

The tinge of relief at the lack of mention of your slip-up was unmistakable. But so was the gratitude you felt upon check-in. A step Bruce could have ignored after everything you had put him through. Especially tonight. Your throat suddenly felt dry. You went too far, didn’t you?

“Yeah. Yes,” swallowing hard, you hoped the guilt could be wiped off your face, “You’ve just kinda blown my mind” a half-hearted shrug and a weak smile were all you could manage.

It was not surprising to see a flash of distrust in Bruce’s eyes as they scanned your face for any signs of lies. You were too good at pretending for him to find anything solid. But he knew you well enough to tell something was off. After a beat, he gave up, meeting your gaze with a smirk of his own:

“You asked me to” the confidence in his voice was still there, now, perhaps even stronger.

Because – yes. You asked, and he delivered, and now you knew, for a fact, that Bruce Wayne was an avid learner. Which somehow made everything harder. Like not falling for him further. If that was even possible.

You did not talk much after. With your refusal to delve into any part of what happened, and Bruce’s inability to persuade you to talk, it was easier to stay silent. As if on autopilot, you pressed a final kiss to his lips and got up, wordlessly heading to the ensuite. To hide and marinate in misery for as long as you could without it being even more suspicious. Avoiding the mirror, you got dressed in a set of sweats and cleaned your face.

The unknown of what you would find back in your room terrified you the most. Because there was no guarantee Bruce would still be there. You did not discuss it, easily letting the awkwardness consume you both. But the hope was still there. The hope that he would stay. Even if just this once.

When you had hand-combed your hair and checked at least twenty times whether there were no signs of the war you were waging in your head, you exited the bathroom. Your eyes darted across the room, drawn to the bed where you had last seen him. Bruce was still there, sitting on the edge of the mattress with his back turned to you. Your heart thumped in your chest, relieved and overwhelmed at once. Bruce waiting on you was just a part of the predicament. The other was that now you had to ask for what you needed.

The creaking floorboards gave away your presence as Bruce glanced at you over his shoulder. He was still shirtless, his back littered with moles, scars, and red lines from where you had scratched him. The discovery brought an instant blush to your cheeks as you silently stared back. The impasse was broken by Bruce’s timid smile, warming up your heart and stifling the fears. If he was still around, it meant that it would be okay. Right?

In a split second, you decided that the only way of finding out was to ask him. No matter how terrifying that seemed. Steeling your spine upon his searching look, you whispered the question:

“Can you stay with me?” fully aware of the tremble in your voice and the shaking in your hands, clasped together tightly.

Aware of the vulnerability you were showing, on top of the rollercoaster of emotions you had dragged him through the past hour. But there was no annoyance on Bruce’s face. An invisible weight lifted off your shoulders as you watched him nod, following the gesture with a reply:

“I was hoping you’d ask” it was that same soft tone which had captured your heart at the very beginning.

Almost as gentle as the look in his eyes, willingly offering the truth you did not expect to hear. Not after everything. Frozen with the dazed smile on your lips, you only moved when Bruce got up from the bed and crossed the space to you. His hand reached out to squeeze your palms as he leaned in to kiss your temple. Without another word, he disappeared into the bathroom. But there were no regrets or uncertainties this time. He would stay. It would be okay.

At least until the morning.

***

Later, when she was long asleep, quiet snores breaking the silence in the room, Bruce was still awake. He watched her chest rise and fall with every breath. Her head was cushioned on his shoulder as if it belonged there. There was only a slight twinge of guilt in his heart when he tightened the hold over her body, drawing her closer. Because god only knew how long that would last. Because if there was one thing the evening taught him, it was that she still was lost within the prison of her own making. Unwilling to believe it was real. That this was real. She was still looking for a reason to run. And he had no way of proving her wrong.

But Bruce wanted to try. Even if it would all be in vain.

He stared at her peaceful face, bathed in the faint moonlight peeking through the hastily drawn curtains, feeling the steady beat of her heart. There was only one thought circling in his head like a vulture. She was wrong. And she had to know. Bruce turned his head towards hers, instantly feeling her burrow her head into the crook of his neck. Still asleep. An uncertain smile bloomed on his face as he whispered:

“I told you there would never be anybody else,”