#well. its impossible to do that consistently
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aaand here's deadlands! it didnt take seven months this time, who cheered?
i'll probably do another post grouping all of my line-ups together, but that's gonna wait for when i do the wyrdwood PCs as well :] more thorough design thoughts/smaller details will be under the cut, but im putting this here so that everybody has to know: their eye shines are all different card suits, except for nate, who gets J for the joker card :]
oxventurers guild | the hobby horses
unlike my other designs where i let everyone have individual colors/palettes, i tried to keep colors more consistent across these designs! the oxventurers guild has the fantasy element and theyre all very different, so the wide mishmash of colors are fine, and the hobby horses all have a lot of dark colors so that keeps them looking consistent together. but for these guys, i wanted a more consistent feel, so i tried my best to reuse colors between each design (especially between delacy and nate ^-^)
silas - ough. my boy. i wanted him to be broad with a strong build, and i hope i pulled that off :D i had so much trouble with his hat that i almost just didnt give him one, but eventually i decided it was better to just. give up and rock with it, even if he looks a bit like a mountie hbjgfjhd and he is wearing cowboy boots, theyre just tucked into his pants because he doesnt feel the need to flash them (looking at delacy, lol). he has spurs on his boots, even though he doesnt ride horses, because he likes the way they jangle <3
garnet - people really liked it when i gave garnet dark roots, so i have decided to always give her dark roots. i like how it looks hehehe and i also like to give her freckles!!! i think theyre cute!!! for the vest, i struggled for a while trying to capture the vibe of jane's vest, because its so so strange and specific in a way that makes it impossible for me to picture garnet without it. i'm pretty happy with where i landed with it, especially the pattern, since i've never tried to make a pattern like that before :3 i dont know why ive been loving patterns so much lately LOL but i will keep riding this wave and regret it later when drawing the designs again
edie - definitely the furthest departure from canon outfits, though still in the right wheelhouse. i just don't like drawing multiple layers of ruffled skirt. i didn't like how my sketches kept looking. i wanted to give her a skirt slit, especially after my friend reminded me about her thigh rifle holster. so today, i stared at a bunch of victorian ballgowns and party city costumes, and then completely redesigned her skirt before i lined these XD and i think it was worth it!! i love the layers and the way her rifle peeks out, and it meant i could show off more of her boots and give them a pretty design :]
delacy - my main thought going into drawing delacy was just. "i need to malnourish this boy" LMAO i refuse to believe that he is eating properly, i just know that he is not. otherwise, i mostly just stuck to the campaign art but scuffed up his clothes a bit. as implied on silas's notes, i very purposefully had his boots be Big. he's overcompensating a little bit :] also sorry i did not want to draw rooster so he just gets a generic handgun. i didnt feel like drawing complicated guns, and i wanted it to be a smaller handgun so that he could be poorly copying edie :') he has no trigger discipline but neither does edie so its fine
nate - that's just nate, baby!!! i think, canonically, he's meant to be a bit. emaciated. but i cant help but just picture him being a bigger guy, i think it fits his vibe better and its more fun for me to draw that way. i like having variety in body shapes, and garnet and delacy already have the rail thin thing down for this line-up. let my old man be fat !!! also. he has a weird nipple because he is transgender. heart emoji
#oxventure#oxventure deadlands#silas flint#garnet munro#edie valentine#delacy oxventure#nate janssen#'travis you forgot the buttons on a few of the shirts-' SHHH SHHHHHHHHHH DONT LOOK AT THAT IM TIRED#i just wanna move onto wyrdwood im done with these bhjgfhjdbghjd#i am super happy with how this came out though :3#okay time for sleep i have a friend visiting tomorrow and its past my bedtime
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trying to map out chilaios size difference like an insane person. charlie kelly pepe silvia but the wall is full of manga panels
#i know its not consistent because#well. its impossible to do that consistently#and also chil has gotten smaller. hes shrinking in the wash…..#i just need to. find out some stuff!!! ya know
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I'm so tired.
Bonus meme under cut:
This is both for him in general (or at least the fanon version dominating fics) and extra for him as Robin specifically tbh. Let him grow up and find an identity outside of being Bruce's emotional support child. It's not like it's actually helping anymore anyways.
#I really minimized the fanon Tim things in there.#Not the least of which including making their age difference wider so Jason can angst over beating up “a kid” despite only being 2 yrs apar#Overemphasizing Tim's “genius” and making Jason stupid & incompetent & everything he does is wrong#Skewed interpretations of the emotional & moral conflict in UTRH/between Jason & Bruce that somehow Tim fixes#Ceo Tim Drake “boohoo Dick wouldn't believe me that Bruce was alive (tho I never actually gave him my evidence abt that)”#WHICH FOR THE RECORD EVEN TIM HAD DOUBTS ABOUT HE JUST HAD TO BELIEVE OR ELSE HE'D FALL APART.#LIKE THE ENTIRETY OF RED ROBIN IS STRUCTURED TO CAST DOUBT ON TIM'S JUDGEMENT THE WHOLE TIME.#ITS NOT LIKE THIS KID DOESNT FAMOUSLY HAVE A HISTORY OF NOT TAKING GRIEF WELL. GESTURES AT THE FAILED SUPERBOY CLONES.#Sidenote I saw a post about ignoring that Tim was a sexist earlier on in his comics & tbh I think youre only allowed to do that if you dont#Woobify him. Like if you want to ignore that but overfocus on every bad thing ppl have done to him then fuck off#Also have you considered that him being sexist but growing out of it is a POSITIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARC that could be interesting?#Wally for example had some really bigoted views bcs of how he was raised but grew out of & its why I always loved him#Frankly if you want to talk about Jason doing unforgivable injuries on the younger kids let's go to Battle for the Cowl#But then you'd have to scknowledge bad (worse) things happened to Damian too & Timmy isn't special now wouldn't you?#Look I'm not asking for every goddamned fic to be comics accurate but can we just not commit character assassination so consistently#That it's fucking impossible to find fic that *isnt* like that?#Fuck I don't even understand how people find this version of Tim engaging. It's funny for memes but an actual plot?#Managed to switch my “I think Tim is a little boring (neutral to affectionate)” to “I think Tim makes things boring (derogatory)”
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SO. It's. BEEN ALMOST A YEAR??? Hi guys!
I wanted to come back and update some things that have been going on since Febuary as things have...................I don't know if "escalated" is the right word- but definitely changed. So, for most of the Spring and Summer things have been going about uh? As well as they CAN be given the current state of things. Our dad is back home and things have been relatively calm (although which the occasional argument about finances, but thats just personal stress lol) This Fall has been mainly spent on a helluvalotta doctors appointments, and moving things forward in terms of trying to apply for disability.
That being said, like I said, things have...changed.
At the end of last week our family got a letter billing us for $37,000 to fix a bunch of piping that connects from our house to the main waterline. And, unfortunately, we have until April to get that sorted out. ( A reminder our household consists of One (1) able-bodied individual who's unemployed, a disabled trans man, and another disabled retired judge- affording this bill would be next to impossible without sacrificing alot of our livlihood. )
Between this and a few other behind-the-scenes issues with the borrow we live at, my dad has decided we need to move before then. And...while he did agree to help fund rental on an apartment, I know very well he does not have much income right now to do so. Fox, my boyfriend, still also has been unable to find work in our area despite reaching out for months on end (We're coming up on year 3 of unemployment, wahoo!~ /s) So while unfortunately we'll still be within our family's...reach for quite a while longer, we still are struggling financially to get everything sorted out and live comfortably. HENCE this update. If theres anyone- anyone at all- who can spare some money or any knowledgeable resources in regards to moving and such of that nature, please do let me know. I'll be updating the GoFundMe with both a new goal and the updated story tomorrow morning (as its 12:30 AM right now and I don't want to think about this more than I have to.) Even reblogging to spread the word would help immensely!
I know everyones exhausted of the GFM posts. I know we're tired. But community is all we have right now. I don't think I would've gotten this far in the year were it not for my friends and support systems... so we all need to stick together if we're going to make it through this alive. Thanks yall for reading. Stay sweet. <3
Help A Disabled Trans Guy & His Boyfriend Find Emergency Housing!!!
https://gofund.me/32d65c06
Hey guys. I normally don't make posts like this because I know full and well how broke most of us are, but I'm...In serious trouble.
As of this past Monday, my father plans on evicting both myself and my boyfriend out of my family home, as well as our two cats Tango and Nebula. Regardless of whether or not he changes his mind, we do plan on moving out as we no longer feel safe staying here for longer than physically neccessary.
As a result, we've been apartment hunting, and we need your help with monthly bills and funds until my boyfriend can get a job of his own (I'd get a job myself however I have really bad Chronic Fatigue and muscle atrophy in my legs, making it difficult to work). I've been denied disability a handful of times now despite this, and my boyfriend has been denied food stamps despite making little to no income each month.
Normally, like I said, I don't make posts like this. I'm chronically terrified of asking too much of people but...this is a serious emergency for the both of us.
So if you could go support us over on gofundme, and help us raise enough to afford an apartment of our own until we're stablized, that'd be amazing. Of course, don't feel obligated to- but every little bit helps. <3
I might also open comissions up soon to help raise money as well, so be on the lookout for that!!! (I'm trying to stay positive here, help.)
In total generally for an apartment that both ourselves and our cats can live in in our local area comes to about $1400-$1600 per month, so I rounded it out to about $2000 to also be able to afford things like grocceries, and amneties. (I think thats how that works, right?)
Thanks for reading everyone, and I'll be posting updates as the situation develops.
#;;soren speaks#gofundme#fundraiser#fundraising#help#please donate#urgent#please boost#community support#moving#emergency bills#emergency moving
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*googling* how much is it okay to white out because I stood or sit up ? Just a little bit of whiting out ? Like a few times a day ? Just like a couple dozen ?
#its almost always a little delayed too so i never remember to account for it#i stand up walk for a good 30 seconds and then cant see or breathe for a bit. as you do#does not pair well with the sudden and random unbearable nausea tho lemme tell you#i love when like. my meatsuit had clearly just decided to hit the fuck it button and cause me random misery forever#...also got no sleep due to it being impossible to find a position laying down that doesnt let my knees bend backwards#sigh. anyway. its whatever. at least the nausea is consistent enough that i know just like. not to eat period.#nothing worse than throwing up chips or something really spicy bc you werent expecting to throw up#but id love a break from the whole. having a body and it wants to die. thing.#chronic illness#complaining
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.
#whats so disturbing. mostly bc i used to be so content being independent#is that whenever im somewhere. be it alone. or with other ppl. i always wish he was with me NXJZJZJZMMZMZMZZMMZ#LIKE THAT IS SO........... XJJZJKZKZKZK GOD#i went to like. a market today n the whole time i was like... man itd have been so fun if he was here ..... JDJSJZJZM GOD#i have it so bad#but i was always like. if i find someone i like hangjng out with more than i like being by myself... obvi thats the person for me#but when i said that. i kind of assumed that was an Impossibility but oh the turn tables JJXJXJXMXJZJZM#n e way. its just me writing another lovesick post JDJDMJDJDJDJS#personal#im getting close to making a move i think. but kind of want to settle in my job first. and like jddjddjjkdk he Knows i just got one after#looking for a long time so i think hes like. understanding that we havent seen each other Njdjdjz LOL IDK. im just assuming#we have talked consistently every week tho since i last saw him. which is pretty good for us tbh#idk i like that we dont have to talk all the time. i always hated when guys message constantly JDNDJDNZNDN like leave me alone i have a life#JDJDJDJSJZMZ#but yeah... im not worried anymore nor do i feel the need to constantly validate whether he likes me or not. i think at this point its...#clear JDJDJDJJDKXKXJX#WATCH ME BE WRONG LMAO GOD.#ah well... things will turn out how they turn out
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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i don't think we do luv i don't think we do
#i do agree (obviously!) that for a series you need to get people to care about your characters so they want to keep watching it#comedy barely holds up without a story.. if you don't take time to work on storytelling or you want inexhaustible archetypes for characters#that you can use to churn out jokes‚ whether that's pointless random skits like family guy does it or something based on the relationships#like relationships within a certain status quo (s1 rick garbage man abuses his family. except it wasn't that simple back then either)#the problem with the sitcom where nothing changes so someone can just write gag after gag without changing the foundations is that it#becomes tiring. people stop caring because you've made it impossible to care for the characters by not allowing any meaningful changes#so in that sense i do agree it is 'becoming an actual series'. but it was on its way from the beginning‚ just needed some refinement#a whole lot maybe#but with setting limits for your writing and keeping your characters consistent and engaging emotionally you limit the#wacky hijinks as well. like don't tell me we got a banger like the vat of acid episode from season 6 or even 5 lol it's no longer explosive#i think rick and morty has always been inconsistent and that bred both great episodes and khm bad ones#there's definitely gonna be less bad ones from now on but the potential of the r&m dynamic has also been.... i would say curbed#that's okay this needed to happen like this. and i think they're going in the right direction and i think the stars will align and they'll#write bangers again#a lot of great things could happen following this. like in these actual arcs that they're developing there's still potential for comedy and#drama and they'll find their way back imo. to the sweet spot between chaos (wacky random funny) and order (meaningful and consistent)#ok that's all. if one hates rick being a miserable pathetic piece of shit one should mayhaps fuck off#✌️💗#kata.txt#rnm
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i feel like my soul is dissolving
#my post#ignore me#when someone i thought was cool so i was following them starts posting consistently about my trigger so i have to unfollow#fuck dude i . i really need to somehow tell my therapist about my trauma haha. even though thats somehow the most terrifying thing... ever#its one thing to type it to my friends that i know will be fine about it and at least partially understand#but to talk about it out loud? to someone who doesnt know shit about all that stuff? and idek how itll go and#like shes not gonna be like 'wow youre so fake for that you horrible stupid bitch' but its like. fuck#once bitten twice shy. opened up about it one time and the backlash was just as bad as the trauma itself#so now its like im fucking pearl unable to talk about pink diamond or some shit. physically impossible dude#vent#i should just write it down like actually#but how do i even start. and that would take like... so many pages probably#i dont know. i dont even know. its like im at the bottom of a mountain and im staring up at the peak knowing i need to climb it#but... its a fucking mountain. and i dont even feel like im prepared. i may as well be trying to climb it while naked and starving
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No reason i just wanna die?
Wanna kill myself?
Cease to exist?
#clu finally speaks#vent#tw suicide mention#its like that one post said#sometimes u haveta say 'i wanna kms' and move on#and boy do i!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nowhere girl is THE descriptor for me!!!#too mentally ill to be employable or schoolable (anxiety making me unable to handle conflict. ADHD (cont.))#(ADHD making it impossible to learn and maintain any info and be productive consistently. and depression ofc tagteaming with anxiety(cont))#(to cripple me in any kind of predicament)#little to no friends#let alone a friend that got connections so i can at least network my way into money#AND i had to be boring AND ugly from head to toe so I cant just marry someone rich or sleep my way to the top#that successful commission artist/freelance artist is going fucking NOWHERE... havent been motivated to draw anything good in MONTHS#and i cant go to therapy (something i feel would remedy all of this including. not venting on main djdjs) bc IM FUCKING POOR#my family is getting poorer and poorer and it seems i cant do ANYTHING to help#might as well fucking die!!!!
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cannot stress enough how sick i an of every single response to a post abt fast fashion being bad is UMMM HAVE YOU CONSIDERED POOR PEOPLE?
#listen to me because i think you are stupid in the head . yes it sucks that a lot of poor people are unable to afford clothes that arent#mass produced . that is not the fault of artists charging faurly for their work.#you genuinely cannottt try to spin fast fashion as like. an ally of the lower class.#bc it isnt ! you buy a pair of pants from walmart bc its what you can afford after a year theyre completely broken you have to buy a whole#new pair. eventually it gets to be way more expensive than if you had just saved to get a good well made pair#but you cant save up. bc yr poor. its the faultjof fast fashion for consistently lowering their quality#whatever though. i also just hate the idea that like..poor ppl dont care abt the slave labor that goes into textile production and fast#fashion. yk. like. Im saying this as a girlie who grew up in poverty. we do care#whenever were given the option we choose the more ethical one. yes its true that at times its impossible to pick something sustainable bc#of greeb tax bullshit but like. aughh idk im rambling
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cw: pro-hero bakugo, reader has boobs, kind of explicit/nsfw? idk i describe boobs, reader is smaller and shorter than bakugo, unedited sawry
bakugo's muscle tee looks as ill-fitting as it'll ever be draped over you.
there are reasons for this, perfectly founded and logical reasons for why that is—the main one being that, it's, well, his; two, maybe even three sizes larger than what it should be to fit you properly.
but, he can't stop staring, and there are reasons for that too—the main one being that, it's his, and yet, the only way he can ever imagine it now is when it's being worn by you.
your hips sway to the song you've been humming for the past five minutes. it's the same one, the chorus on a perpetual loop. he's sure it's the only part you know; you do this often enough that it's the only part he knows now, too.
the hem of his tee hits right at the top of your thighs, concealing just enough to tease, but he’s confident that if you reach up even the slightest bit for the cupboard overhead, there'll be nothing to hide.
he feels a little bit like a creep like this, watching as he stands in the middle of your shared living room, but it's impossible too look away—you've got to be doing this on purpose, right?
heat flares inside of him when you turn your body ever so slightly, the armhole of his muscle tee large enough to give him the clearest view of skin—
he gulps.
it's smooth, sloping just right; the side view of your under boob curves into its perfect shape and he can imagine it, feel—
(is this considered perving if he's been with you for years?)
the pan in front of you sizzles as you plop in god knows what. you pour in something from the side and wait, one hand propped on the hip you pop out. then, you pick up the pan, attempting to flip what's inside (probably a pancake, now that he thinks about it).
it’s hard to focus on what you’re cooking though, especially when all he sees is plump flesh jiggling, bouncing as you further agitate the pan.
he just got the pants of this suit readjusted, and now they're fucking tight.
bakugo normally runs hot; it’s kind of part of his dna. but this warmth is different, flushing him from head to toe. it creeps up the side of his neck, painting the tips of his ears a blooming red.
you turn around then, plopping the pancake on the plate atop the counter behind you.
"oh! you're done," you greet him with a smile. so. fucking. casually.
as if your tits aren't fucking peaking against the gray fabric of his tee.
as if you think he buys the fake innocence poorly concealing that sly, conniving look in your pretty eyes.
as if you aren't standing in front of him in his muscle tee, wearing nothing underneath it like you didn’t do this on purpose. like you don’t know what it fucking does to him.
his eyes squint suspiciously, deep vermillion staring straight into yours.
you tilt your head, the tips of your lashes kissing the top of your cheekbones as you blink. you reach for a bottle of honey.
“everything okay?” you ask, voice syrupy, sickeningly sweet.
your movements play in front of him languidly, the corner of your lips curling up slightly as you smirk. honey catches on your finger as you pop open the bottle cap.
he’s supposed to be out the door in five minutes if he wants to make it in time for a meeting at the agency. technically, he should already be there if he wants to keep up his track record of consistently being fifteen minutes too early.
but you start to approach him, rounding the kitchen island. there’s a narrow space between him and the slab of marble, but you slide into it like it was made for you.
he’s certain it was, from the way the tip of your nose brushes against his as you tiptoe. your tits are right fucking there, brushing against the skintight material of his suit.
there’s too much fucking fabric if you ask him, between cotton and spandex.
your grin widens, and he feels hot, the heat from his cheeks radiating.
then you whisper, still saccharine, “breakfast is ready,” before kissing him on the lips lightly. a short peck, soft in the way that promises more before you slip away, giggling in your retreat.
he huffs, watching you leave. his feet shift as he thinks.
five minutes, huh?
like hell he’s going to eat these damn pancakes for breakfast today.
#bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#ALWAYS GOING TO PUSH FOR THE BKG CLOSET PERV AGENDA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#he HAAAAAAAAATES that he feels this way BUT LIKE ALL HERO STORIES START WITH: his body moves on its own 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️#he tries to restrain it sooooo hard#but i think when youve been together a while something shifts in him#he still gets flustered!! still gets so hot and embarrassed about it!!! but i think he grows comfortable#with the idea that he /can/ act on it. that it isn’t shameful if he does.#so i think the big difference between a pining bakugo and being in a relationship w him#esp a long term one#is the fact that his reactions are still very much the same#but his actions become more proactive when he feels more secure in the relationship#and i adore the idea of a reader who loves teasing him for it#who looooves pushing his buttons#who looooooves seeing how far they can take it#and it's all fun and games and he's blushing and everything when you do it#but he gets you back so good for it. SOOOOO good. oh my god.#ok bye this was my brainrot at the gym today#rated#shotorus.bubble#bnha#katsu
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Let's Talk About Security Culture: Why Keeping Secrets is Cool and Sexy
It's a natural impulse -- if you love crime -- to want to talk about how great it is. And if you hate America, it's only natural to want to share your dreams for its future with the rest of tumblr dot com. It can feel brave and transgressive. And there is a drive to share your soul with the world at the heart of social media. Surely I should be posting the most concrete implications of my politics, right? This is the poster's curse.
Security Culture refers to a set of "best practices" developed over the past several decades, largely (in a US context) coming out of radical environmental groups as they faced intense state repression, infiltration and entrapment. If you're not familiar, there's some fascinating crimethinc write ups to give you a window into that world:
Much of it boils down to: don't talk about crimes, past or forthcoming with people who don't need to know about them, and be mindful of the possibility of surveillance and infiltration. And, we can support each other as a community in minimizing risks, with an eye towards enabling bold action rather than getting bogged down in fears and anxieties. The guidelines that make sense for AG-based trouble-makers are different from the guidelines that make sense for posters, but plenty of common principles apply. To speak briefly to our position here as posters:
First, it bears saying that long term anonymity is nearly impossible to maintain. Unless you've never accessed Tumblr without a vpn, and avoided connections with other ppl who can be associated with you/your location, and never shared pictures without scrubbing metadata, and a bunch of other 100% consistent steps, it's trivial for the state to know who you are.
Second, just because something isn't actively being prosecuted now doesn't mean it can't be prosecuted later. The priorities of the state change and a shift in power towards the right or a growth in radical action from the left can suddenly make it a priority to destroy anarchist networks or just find a few ppl to prosecute as examples (who probably weren't that plugged into larger networks before getting arrested). Advocating for specific anti-government crimes or declarations of intent to commit such crimes are likely prosecutable, and even if charges don't stick, they're an easy vector for legal harassment.
Third, it's worth thinking about heat as separate from prosecutability. There are modes of engagement that may not be directly criminalized but signal that you are someone worth watching. Some people choose to be public in ways that make heat unavoidable. But it's worth noting that heat isn't strictly individualized, that it persists over time but also is going to shrink over time.
It's easy on here, ime, to see yourself as a proud member of the crime fandom but not much of a content creator. And it's easy to feel like you've generated an amount of heat where you're locked into that role. But heat you generated 10 years ago is probably pretty well gone. Heat you generated 5 years ago has faded substantially. It's worth thinking about how the world might shift in the coming years and what doors you want to keep open.
The non-individualized nature of heat also means that leaning into the spiciest of anti-state positions will make it a bad idea for people who are acting out those positions end up tied to you. Loudly talking about how "more people should be doing [X/Y/Z]" unfortunately sets you up to remain distant from people who might be doing or thinking about doing such things.
Which brings me back to: keeping secrets is sexy. Not spelling everything out builds intrigue. You can lay out a theoretical position and leave working out the practical implications of that as an exercise for the reader. There's value in opacity. The poster's curse and the drive to confess are extremely convenient for the state, but we can resist them. We can hold dreams in our hearts that we refuse to offer up to the posting spectacle.
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loud - Matt Sturniolo
summary: where you and your boyfriend matt get too loud during sex, the next morning your toddler has a lot of questions after overhearing noises.
contains: smut, dad!Matt, fluff, comforting.
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matt repeatedly pounds into me, forcing me further into the mattress. his large hands snake round to my waist, gripping lightly before dragging one of his hands up my back to my hair which he pulls on.
"fuck- oh my god!" i squeal, gripping the sheets infront of me as the sound of skin slapping fills the room.
"matt- matt slow down-" i pant in between loud moans.
"you got it sweetheart, taking me so well aren't you?" matt breathes, his length almost slipping out of me from the intensity of his thrusts.
"too- too deep" i warn, squirming against the matress.
"no its not, you were just begging for me weren't you?" matt whispers into my hair.
he forces my head into the plush of the pillows, muffling my screams, not very well though.
he rests his tattooed arm beside my head, practically laying on top of me now, hitting an impossibly deep spot inside of me.
"dont stop." i squeeze out, clenching around him harshly.
matt lets out a low whimper, "fuck.." he groans out into the back of my hair.
"dont stop- i'm so close matt" i repeat myself, my voice breaking halfway through.
"you got it." matt pants, everything in his body is restraining him from finishing right now, i can hear it in the way hes letting out pathetic quiet moans into my ears, consistently getting louder.
finally, i feel the pressure in my stomach release, warmth coursing through my body as i release over matts dick.
matt thrusts a few more times before pulling out, painting my back and stomach with white.
he flops down next to me. his pale cheeks are flushed and his hair is sticking to his forehead, his red lips are parted as his arms rest messily over his face.
my legs tremble slightly, which matt seems to pick on.
he sits up, gripping the back of my legs steadily. i'm still resting face down in the pillows, completely fucked out.
i let out a small giggle as he rambles, "do your legs always shake like that-? did i do that-"
"yeah" i laugh, rolling over onto my back, "its normal." i grin.
"are you okay." he says, pulling me ontop of him.
"i'm more than okay." i press a kiss to his raw lips.
he sits up and carrys me over to the closet, setting me down on the small chair next to it.
he sorts through the racks of clothes before pulling out some sweats and a loose shirt of his, "you wanna wear these?" he asks softly, bending down to be at my level.
i nod, matt slides the sweatpants up my thighs before tapping my underarms.
"arms up!" he smiles stupidly before letting the shirt fall onto me.
"i'm gonna take a shower then i'll meet you in bed, sounds okay?" he asks,
i nod before tugging my hair into a loose ponytail
matt walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him, shortly after the water starts.
i decide to do a final check of the house before bed, i swing open the door to our bedroom and step out into the corridor.
i walk towards our toddler, elsie’s room. the door is shut.
“thank god.” i mutter, she’s always been a pain to get to sleep. matt used to have to read her story’s every night for an hour.
i tiptoe back down the corridor into matt and i’s bedroom before flopping down into bed.
matt walks out of the bathroom, his hair messy and wet and the dim light of the room illuminating his sharp features.
his sweatpants hang dangerously low on his hips, giving me a full display of his happy trail.
“you okay?” he laughs, snapping me out of my trance.
“matt i swear i could go round 2 right now.” i giggle, matt jumps into bed beside of me and tugs me close to his chest.
“you’re too sensitive for that right now.” matt teases, i flick him before letting my eyes flutter shut.
———-
(the next morning)
9:23am
i roll over onto matt, stirring awake slowly.
matt sits up, i cling to his shoulders as i let out a dramatic groan.
“mmm.” i whine as matt try’s to stand up, “i need to pee.” he laughs, gently removing my hands from him.
“no you don’t.” i yawn,
“i’ll be quick.” matt jogs into the bathroom, i stand up out of bed, stumbling over slightly.
i walk towards the door before fiddling with the door knob before stepping out into the corridor.
i walk towards elsie’s room before creaking it open,
i peak my head through the door and she sits up in bed. her pigtails are messy and she has a concerned look on her cute face.
i flick the light on before walking over to her, she erupts into tears
“oh- oh elsie baby what’s wrong” i say, panic clear in my voice
tears flow down her cheeks as i pick her up.
“matt!” i call out, my eyebrows furrow as i inspect elsie for any reason why she’s crying so much at 9 in the morning.
matt walks into the room, confusion instantly washing over him.
“what’s going on?” he asks, i shrug.
i hand elsie to matt, he tickles the underside of her chin before fixing the hair that’s covering her eyes.
“you wanna tell me why you’re so upset?” matt asks softly,
“y-you you-you were hurting mommy last night-“ elsie cry’s,
“i hea-heard her screaming and- bad words and thumping coming from your room.” she sniffles.
my eyes widen as my head snaps round to look at matt, a small smile creeps onto his face which he attempts to wipe away.
“i promise i wasn’t hurting mommy,” matt says with a small laugh.
“yeah-“ i chime in, sitting down on the edge of her bed. matt sits down next to me, still holding elsie firmly in his arms.
“me and daddy.. were just having fun!” i smile at elsie, rubbing her back.
“no- you told him to stop!” elsie points out, wiping her eyes.
i swallow harshly before looking at matt, “well- when two adults love eachother a lot-“ matt starts, i cut him off instantly
“matt shes 4, she is not having this conversation right now.” i say with a nervous laugh.
elsie looks at me with confusion.
“me and your daddy, were having something really cool called a pillow fight, do you know what that is?” i lie straight through my teeth.
matt bites back a smile.
elsie nods, “i love pillow fights!” she giggles
“yes! you do! and matt was winning the pillow fight so hard so i let out a scream of excitement for him, yeah?” i tell elsie.
“your mommy’s not good at pillow fights.” matt chimes in, i roll my eyes at him
“then when i said stop, that’s because he kept hitting me with the pillow! how silly is that?” i smile.
elsie laughs loudly, letting herself fall back into matt’s chest as she grins widely.
“why were you having a pillow fight at night time!” elsie asks with a excited smile,
“who doesn’t have a pillow fight at night time?! that’s the best time to have pillow fights!” matt says with a fake shocked expression.
“i wanna have a pillow fight!” elsie claps.
“let’s have one tonight after dinner then, how about that?” matt whispers into elsie’s ear, she cheers, throwing her hands into the air.
matt presses a kiss to elsie’s hair before mouthing at me,
‘pillow fight is crrrazzzy.’
i mouth back at him
‘what was i meant to say!’
matt rubs his eyes with a wide smile, “you’re stupid.” he laughs under his breath.
———-
@sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @similartokayyz @rosalierenee43 @idekman1231
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autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)
I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.
If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.
the background
So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.
FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:
Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;
Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;
Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.
the WordPress ecosystem
A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.
Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)
Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.
There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.
Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.
Matt being Matt, tech being tech
As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)
But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.
ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening
WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.
There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.
Sep 17
Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.
Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?
(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)
Sep 20 (WCUS final day)
WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.
Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.
He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.
For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr
Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:
“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt
He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.
Sep 21
Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.
He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.
The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)
Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:
Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash
TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers
Sep 23 onward
Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.
Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.
Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.
WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.
Twitter link | Direct PDF link
This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.
Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.
He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.
Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.
Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"
At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.
Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.
Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.
anyway this fucking sucks
This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".
Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)
I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.
So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.
Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.
And people don't want to deal with any of this.
The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.
But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.
Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.
#tony muses#tumblr meta#again just bc that's my tag for all this#automattic#wordpress#this is probably really incoherent i apologise lmao#i may edit it
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Delicacy
ILLIT Moka x male reader smut
Happy (kinda late) Moka Day!
Masterlist word count: 5,401 Kofi(donations/commissions)
"Ladies and-a gen-entleman! Step right up! Ge-get yourself a-a mystical item today!" The old Murgo's voice is loud, his tone is jovial. His accent is hard to understand and his stuttering speech patterns would indicate a man who is not well-educated, though you've always expected he puts it all on for show.
His skin is scruffy, full of moles and unkempt facial hair that creeps down to his thin neck. The elderly man's uniform consists of a long, purple-sleeved coat—sleeves that fall every time he waves an arm at the next item he tries to flog.
"Y-you sir! Consider this, this is truly a-a magical mirror, for as long as you lo-look into it, it will make you b-beautiful." He smiles at the group before him, pearly white teeth contrasting with his murky skin colour. They are the only noteworthy things about him, other than his height, a whole foot smaller than the usual man.
The rough-looking labourer by your side mumbles, "What a crock of shit!"
While the bald man at the front calls "I'll take it!"
Murgo, as Murgo so often does, announces the catch, "Very wise pu-purchase. Now, just remember, the m-magic only works if you look a-at in complete darkness."
Murgo collects his due payment and the man at your side shakes his head as he turns away. "Idiots," he grumbles before he walks away.
"You there!" Murgo singles you out. "Do you fancy trying a-anything?" He asks you with a smile.
Murgo's entire stall is packed full of oddities, and none of them are ever what they seem. You may not believe in Murgo's little items, but it's always interesting to come and see what he has to sell today. It's nice to consider his fantastical excuses and embellishments.
"M-may I interest you in a fan-antasy?" He sing-songs. "You must ha-have a wish to make come true? Consider this ma-magical music box! One wish! M-Make it come true!" He boasts about another silly item, something that always leaves you rolling your eyes. Wishes cannot be bought.
"Tha-that's a look of uncertainty. Well, how about this." Murgo holds out a hand containing a single chocolate. A perfect, colourful item shaped like a square. "Gen-entleman, please m-may I present, a most magical item to y-your attention! A chocolate! Bu-but not any chocolate! They say this one tastes of m-mocha, and its ingestion a-allows you to live a fantasy."
You scrunch your brow.
"Ingested fantasies might seem an im-impossibility, but I have p-proven through a rigorous scientific process..."
You know he's lying, as always, but you're not about to interrupt though. You doubt the old man actually has much training in anything even related to science, and everything about him can only lead you to believe that he doesn't own many resources to test things on anyway.
"...so, sir, I urge you!" Murgo finishes his meaningless rambling by saying, "Try and taste your fondest dream. Try the ma-magical wonder and live a dream so real, so plausible that y-you'll forget who you are!"
Live a dream so real... He's definitely lying, but you are curious as to the taste of his chocolate.
Your eyes switch from Murgo's insistent, excited stare to his chocolate, and back to Murgo's knowing smile. "Just this once," you tell him.
-
You sit at your kitchen table, staring at the little rectangular block that rests on the wood.
"A fantasy, huh?" you contemplate. You lean in close and give it a sniff; it certainly smells like chocolate, with a hint of mocha.
Shrugging, you hold up the chocolate and drop it into your mouth. Immediately, it melts away and you're overpowered by the delicious flavour. It's milk chocolate, but you find hints of cocoa and coffee mixed between your lips.
You chew a few times and then swallow. At that moment, Murgo's words ring around your mind. 'Live a dream so real,' they repeat.
You sit and you wait. Staring expectantly at the table, you blink blankly at the slab where the chocolate once rested. You tap your fingers. You scratch the back of your neck. And still, nothing.
"Wow." You shake your head, chastising yourself for thinking so optimistically, and push out the chair.
As you stand, your head spins. The world about you warps into another form, a dark space resembling nothing you have ever seen.
The ground crunches beneath your feet. Gravel, perhaps? Black grazes at the surface, but you can't quite make out any details. As if a curtain has fallen to obscure your vision.
You spin around and wave your hands to find a purchase with something.
And then you feel it. Feel... her?
Small, smooth hands in your own. They let go before too long, and then those hands brush up your forearms.
A shadowed girl—clearly a girl by her soft curves—gently touches your cheek, and you grab her hand again. A soft gasp escapes her, and then she giggles. "Do you know how hard it's been, to be stuck inside a piece of chocolate? Of course, you don't. Why would you?"
This... isn't real. Could you be dreaming? Could you be high, or drunk, or passed out? Perhaps poisoned? You bring your fingers to your face to ensure you're not gushing blood or anything odd. Nope, normal. Completely and utterly normal, so... what the hell?
She whispers as her fingers move along the waistband of your pants, "Did you like the taste of the chocolate? Of... Moka?" She laughs. "My name is Moka, do you understand? Mocha and Moka!"
She has the cutest laugh. Soft, genuine, and one that leaves you smiling. Smiling? You ask yourself what you're doing and how you possibly ended up with some mysterious woman pawing your crotch. Regardless, you answer.
"Yeah," you say, her laugh encouraging you to express honesty. "Definitely not a bad product at all."
"Of course not!" Moka cheers. You catch a glimpse of a smile in the shadows that surround her. "After all, I was made with all the finest ingredients to give a taste that absolutely anyone can enjoy! And you're no exception, are you?" Moka's weight presses against you, and she leans close to your ear to murmur, "This little bump in your pants proves that."
You let out a sharp breath, but no denial. Moka may be shrouded in darkness, but you don't have trouble appreciating her presence. You can feel the warmth from her body, her rounded breasts that are all too tempting to touch.
"I'm so confused..." you whisper.
"Good." With the utterance of one word, you see the brightness of a smile. How wonderful and expressive her face is. The darkness clears and the mystery goes with it. The girl in front of you can only be described as utterly breathtaking. She's wearing this smile that turns up a little more on one side of her mouth than the other, and you're absolutely enchanted by its beauty. There's this beauty mark on her nose, such a cute mole. And then her eyes... you could very happily lose yourself within them.
"So incredibly confused," you repeat, and watch with fascination as a lock of her dark hair slips past a black strip and over her flushed cheek.
Moka kisses you. A gentle, testing peck, but there's no time for timid, because she pounces, and suddenly you're drowning under her affection. Kissing her like this is all you can think about, and the way she tangles her small tongue around your own is wildly erotic, both innocent and sinful at the same time.
You are too complacent, but then Moka brings her body flush against yours. You don't know where she came from, you have no idea why she's here and what's going on, but your body is certainly not questioning that right now. Her lithe form under your touch is as smooth as the chocolate she came from.
"Take me," she all but purrs, "It's what I'm here for."
"But you're..."
"Not real? A fantasy? Exactly. That's all the reason you need to let go," she whispers and there is a clarity that brings her words like truth.
Real or not, you can't deny it. You want her, this exotic enigma. You tug her close, fingers tracing a curve, your lips following a line. Her body, her skin, you adore her. Every facet, every inch, you crave her. You take hold of Moka and lift her, she lets out the gentlest of squeaks but instantly wraps her legs around you, and just the sound and feeling of her draws a shudder out of you.
"I spent months in Murgo's storage, just waiting for someone like you. Every single day growing more and more frustrated as I waited. You can't imagine being that pent up, can you?"
She's taking off your shirt. Impatiently running her hands down your torso, like she can't get enough. You stumble until you plant her against the wall, holding her firm and kissing her with all the frustration she feels, biting and sucking and leaving her breathless.
Moka wraps her arms around your neck, curling her heels, pulling you close.
"I can't imagine it, but you don't have to wait for another second though." You squeeze at her taut thighs, making her whimper with delight.
"Taste me," she whispers and you take your lips to her neck. It's not exactly what she has in mind, but she knows it's inevitable. All roads lead between her thighs.
So you fall to your knees before her. Hands up her thighs, driving up the frills of her skirt. She's a delicacy, soft and pink, beautiful, just waiting to be savoured. And the moment your lips touch the inside of her thigh, she gasps, one palm smacking the wall behind her. The tension, the excitement, the breathless little whimpers that escape her, every little thing, has you completely engrossed.
The whole time you press a barrage of kisses against her thighs, moving closer to her core with each passing second, but the light, teasing kisses draw a litany of frustration out of her.
"P-please..." Moka whimpers.
The breath from her plea leaves her in a shudder. She huffs, already trembling. You test how wet she is with your fingers, feeling her damp warmth, her sticky arousal coating your digits. You're unable to resist running your fingertips up the folds of her pussy, using the natural slickness to help move, dancing around her clit and drawing cries from the breathless girl. Her pleasure is plain to see, the rising blush reaching her chest and the deep breaths escaping her.
You slide a single finger inside her, then quickly two, slowly finger fucking her pretty pink, twisting around and feeling her wrap around you.
"You like it?" you murmur and it's not like you could call anything happening now an act of romance, but you turn your head and kiss her thigh. Such a tender moment is shared despite the sordid acts.
Moka huffs, her fingers clinging to your shoulder. "I need it." She sputters, moaning and thrusting down to meet your slow motions. "Oh... It's so good..."
"It's about to get even better," you say.
You lap your tongue along the seeping moisture of her beautiful cunt, and you lick over her slick folds and lap up everything she has to offer. With deep, intense licks, you give her pussy the attention she's been begging for.
"Ahh! Oh, yes!" she shrieks, falling back against the wall and panting with pleasure.
The sweetness of her nectar assaults you, and your tongue finds the little spot that has her moaning each time you lick near it. Faster and faster you circle her clit, watching as her knees quiver and twitch. Closer and closer, your tongue working her into a frenzy.
"More... I-I... yes, don't stop!" she cries, pulling your face against her. She wants more, she won't wait, and she twists and tangles her fingers into your hair, pushing and grinding her dripping sex against you. "Can you imagine it? I was made for pleasure. To give and receive, only to be forced to hide away, all alone? To suffer every day, tortured by my need?"
Moka whimpers and struggles to keep her breath even. You must want to do something about that, don't you?
You grab her thighs, lifting her off the ground and shifting your hands under her, grabbing her soft, plump ass cheeks. She cries at the movement, but then her legs are wrapped around your shoulders, clutching you to her desperately. You eat her little pussy out furiously, ravaging her drenched folds as she cries out, screams filling the room as you pick up the pace. Your tongue dances around her clit, your fingers sinking deeply into the soft flesh of her cute little ass.
"Oh god... I can't stop myself," her desperate cries fill the room.
You cannot deny this girl, even if you wanted to, so you devour her sweet cunt, and watch as her eyes close, the pleasure becoming too much as her body explodes with euphoric release. She screams, desperately riding your face, her entire body quivering and twitching as she cums. The juices drip down your chin as she rides the wave of intense bliss, rolling her hips, indulging in it, prolonging it for as long as she can.
Finally, the surge of her overwhelming orgasm ends, but she slumps, nearly lifeless in your grasp. You struggle to keep her up, and she keeps trying to grind her sensitive folds against you, but her exhaustion finally hits her. So you take her, back in your arms, and toward your kitchen table.
There she lays, shaking and sweating, struggling to catch her breath, and you want nothing more than to pry her delicate figure from that dress. You strip her, your mouth kissing every newly exposed surface of her perfect body.
"This is how things should have been, how life should have been," Moka mumbles, her dark hair swirling beneath her as she lays across your table. Her sweet skin comes into sight and you can't help running your hands along the feminine curve of her stomach. Her perfect breasts fit in the palms of your hands and you trace circles around her taut nipples as she sighs happily.
You undress, and she watches, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. Her expression is suddenly guilty, as though admiring a man naked isn't something a girl should do. But you caress her face, she's your beautiful enchantress, and that moment of hesitation seems to pass as she leans into the palm of your hand. Her eyes shimmer with acceptance, and she's accepting of all the dirty things she's thinking, all the things she's about to say. "I...I want you inside me," she whispers.
Your cock is erect and eager, so hard, aching, throbbing with the desire to know her warmth, and you line yourself with the wetness between her legs.
Gently, you lean forward, pressing the tip against her tightness. "Are you ready?"
"For however long I've waited," she breathes.
She's quivering under you, full of tension, gripping the edge of the table tightly. The expression on her face is so vulnerable, open and raw, so beautiful. Her chest rises and falls with her need, and there's a hunger burning in her, a fire begging to be ignited.
"Please," Moka begs.
"Gentle..." you tell her, though who it's meant for, you're not entirely sure. But you take a deep breath and ease into her slickness.
She gasps, her grip around the side of the table tightening. It takes a moment, but she grows accustomed, her tension dissipates and her trembling is overcome. She laughs, and the sound is nothing short of stunning. Chime-like, the light, airy melody fills the room as she touches herself. Cupping her supple breasts, and tugging her pink nipples, she indulges in her lust and rocks gently against your hard shaft.
"Fuck away my lusts. Fill the void, be the man I've needed so badly," her sweet voice begins to sing with pleasure, her pitch rising.
Her cunt is so warm and inviting, so wet, stretching tightly around you as you pump back and forth. Wet noises sound with every pass. Moka's eyes glaze over and her legs wrap around your waist, pulling you even deeper.
Your thrusting finds a comfortable, easy rhythm, and soon your hips are slapping eagerly against her every time you push in. Wet noises fill the air each time you drive into her deepest parts.
"God, yes..." her desperation only heightens, "Use me, please. Don't stop, fuck me."
"How could I ever?" you pant, both leaning in, sucking the taste of her chocolate mouth, twirling her tongue, drinking her intoxicating exhales.
She's a dream, this girl is made for indulgence. Her arms hook under yours, hands grasping your shoulders, digging into your back, desperate for some way to anchor herself. You want to touch every part of her, soak up her delicious little whimpers and commit them to memory. As your breath runs ragged and your heart pounds in your chest, nothing other than her is present in your mind. Nothing else matters. She is the pure embodiment of desire.
As the feverish motion speeds up, her soft breasts bounce and her entire body shimmers. Sweat glistens along her slender form and you push her to limits she's never known. Her cries run longer and louder until she's screaming, moaning your name, muttering incoherent praise.
"Moka..." you whisper her name, lacing her with what little you can say with a mind lost in the overwhelming bliss of her body.
It isn't long before your rhythm begins to break down. A rising and falling beat, speeding and slowing, stuttering with your every breath. She's drowning with you, and yet floating all at once. Latching onto you, refusing to let go. Desperate, clamping tightly onto you as you enter her deeper with each sharp thrust.
Panting, drenched, bodies so close. Your hard, feverish heat, her spiking lust, colliding with explosive fervour as you surge forward, burying yourself inside her and grunting as you shudder.
Unbridled and relentless, the swelling heat pulses through you and down your length. Rippling through her, filling her cunt, pouring into her. Her cries peak alongside yours. She shudders and shakes as your pulsing cock pumps a shockwave of ecstasy through her.
Delirious laughter escapes her when her rolling euphoria subsides, and her satisfied smile when she strokes her hand down your hot chest... everything about her... the delight of satisfaction washes through her.
Just what was that? That woman made you feel desires you could never imagine possible. Never could you have imagined something would make you feel as if you were flying.
Never could you imagine her.
And yet here she is.
"Can we..." she seems uncertain now, nervous, unsure.
You take her hands and kiss them. A delicate display of adoration that causes her nervous smile to transform into something happier, more certain. "What is it, Moka?"
She presses her finger to her lower lip, searching for the right words. "We can do this again, can't we?"
You can't resist chuckling at the blush that reaches her chest and the shy way she turns her head.
"Of course," you say.
-
Now you understand, even if vaguely, what happened and how things came to be; your actions and hers.
But, as always, the question remains... can a fantasy ever stay?
Moka is sitting outside on the small porch of your humble home. Fond memories occupy your thoughts; nights filled with bliss; mornings spent listening to her joyous voice.
"Are you having doubts?" she asks, unable to meet your gaze.
You sigh and rest against the rail. Her feelings are difficult to understand sometimes, but you have this odd connection, as if an invisible bridge exists between you, allowing you to feel her as she can you. She wants your happiness, you know that, she craves it, and yet...
"Will you stay?" you ask her quietly, a little afraid of the answer.
The setting sun casts pink across the sky. From the lush valley, there's a stream that cuts across the landscape, shaded by the greenery, broken only by the towering tree that stands tall in the distance. Its wide leaves filter the sunlight, casting gentle patterns in the trickling water. It really is such a peaceful place to live.
You stand and enjoy the moment. Fresh air, the calming simplicity of nature.
"I'm sorry," Moka's voice is only a whisper, "I don't know the limits of the magic that brought me here. If I stay, would I be stuck as a human? If I leave your side, would I ever be able to return? It's as much of a mystery to me as it is to you."
"Should I ask Murgo?"
"That fool? He didn't even know the chocolate was really magic. No," her voice grows firmer, "Don't trust the words of that merchant." Her hands clutch tightly at her knees, "I do have this feeling. I can't quite explain it, but, I've been feeling it since you first tasted me."
"Feeling?"
"A pulling—a tug—toward you, away from you too," she says. "Magic, desires, loneliness... maybe they've been woven together. I can't be sure."
"Not sure I understand."
"I feel it now. There's this need to be satisfied. And when I'm not, it feels like the magic will just tear me away."
You push away from the railing and step towards her. She's sitting, knees pulled against her chest, wearing nothing more than a white linen gown. Seeing her so small...
"So, if I just satisfy you..." You reach out and gently brush your knuckles along her soft cheek. Moka leans into your touch, her deep brown eyes gazing up. Your fingertips push through her silky dark hair and cup her delicate chin. As she stares at you, you can feel the deep, yearning emotion within her. "Then you will stay with me."
"I think—"
You interrupt her with a kiss. Softly locking your lips, bringing her comfort. Just a moment, simple tenderness. Then passion, as you open your mouth and taste the pure sugar of her tongue. Slipping around yours, her hot exhale, her warmth, both erotic and meaningful.
You can only pull away by taking her with you, pulling her up from the chair. Eagerly, Moka smiles and steps into your arms. Squeezing her tight, holding her around the waist, breathing her scent, feeling the tension inside yourself. She kisses you back with the same intensity, lips tight on yours, warm and dripping as they open, teasing you with her sweet taste.
You stumble back towards the railing, bodies entwined. Tilting your head, her chocolate flavour can make anyone addicted. Kissing her, nipping, sucking, biting her lip. Sinking into her warmth, her body. Lifting the hem of her short gown, running your fingers along the silky skin of her thighs. She arches back into the wooden railing, and you break apart the kiss as she sinks into the support behind her.
You take hold of her shoulders and turn her. She braces against the railing and leans forward, showing off that inviting, delicate shape. Between the arch of her back and the curve of her cute ass, she begs to be taken. And that thin linen may as well not even be there; it's so taut, so transparent.
You move behind her. In the fading light of the evening, the shadows reveal more than they hide. Lifting the cloth and leaving her bare. Running your hands down the lines of her hips and sides, your fingers lightly trace back up her ribs and finally, you cup one of her light breasts. Her nipple presses into the palm of your hand, and she's so sensitive, arching at even the slightest touch.
She looks back at you, her eyes longing, knowing what comes next. Spreading your fingers down between her legs, you run them along the slick, wet flesh waiting for you. She's already ready, dripping, and your fingertips only tease her. Bending, lining up your rigid cock against her wetness. You place your other hand on her hip and ready yourself, preparing to push forward.
"I'll never grow tired of this," you say.
Moka looks back at you, blushing, hair over her face as she tries to look through the veil. Before she can respond, you push, and she lets out a sharp cry at being filled. With her firmly held, you slide in and out of her dripping cunt. It's not a frantic, hurried pace, but deep, intense thrusts that give Moka what she needs—give her relief.
"Ah! That's so deep... so deep."
Her moans spill out without restraint. Such a vibrant voice, full of the lusts she's harbouring. Holding her firmly, plunging deeper and faster, her tiny pussy wrapping tightly around you. Wet, slippery squishing echoes through the empty air. Slaps sounding with every time your crotch strikes hers. It's all so lewd and brings you ever closer, keeps driving you.
The deeper her chest falls, the more she arches, and a deep moan escapes as her body shakes. Her orgasm comes strong, fast, and powerful, making her legs quake and her voice stutter. But you hold her and keep fucking. Slipping against her back, clinging to her waist, burying your face in her hair. Her trembling sex tenses and flexes and still she moans, incoherently telling you just how good it feels.
You've lost track of the number of times you've filled her tight cunt in the past few days, so this is just another one of many. She loves it, though; loves feeling you pour so deeply inside her. She'll do anything to feel it. So you fill her. Firm thrusts as you pump her full of your cum, right there on the porch.
-
During the moments she spends staring out the window, you run your hand down Moka's back. She hums a little sound, appreciating the act, and snuggles into the blanket further.
"Cold? I could go get the fire going again if you like."
Moka stares blankly, fixated on a flower just outside the window. She blinks and laughs suddenly.
"Hm? Sorry, what did you say?"
You repeat what you said and she quickly responds.
"It's alright, but there's something I need you to do."
"What is it?"
"Lie on the bed, let me ride you. I want to feel you fill me. I need it." She reaches a hand up and cradles her own breast, grasping at it and squeezing the supple mound.
It's getting worse—her constant need. Like an itch, she says. Something has to constantly be done to keep it from being painful. It's barely been two hours since you were last inside her, and it seems to be the only thing she can think about.
"Please. I just need a little more..."
You can't bring yourself to deny her. Not when she looks at you like that. So you stumble backwards, pulling her naked form along with you, and ungracefully land on your back. Already you're growing hard, just from looking up at her dainty body and recalling all the wonderful acts you have performed and thinking of what is yet to come.
Moka runs her hand through her hair and gazes downward, a serene look washing over her delicate features.
"Smiling suits you," you tell her.
Again, you watch her eyes light up at that little kind of praise. "Thank you," she says, blushing as she clambers across the bed to kneel above you. She fixes her knees on either side of your hips and runs her palms over your chest, teasing your body as her breasts sway before you.
"Oh..." she purrs as she rocks back and forth, rubbing her bare sex up and down your length. "Oh, yes..."
You hum with delight, but remain still for a moment, listening to the happy sounds she's making, letting her indulge in the simple foreplay.
Eventually, she can take it no longer. "Here..." She lifts herself with her thighs and wraps a single hand around your hardened cock, steadying it and gripping tight. With a single gasp, she guides you inside her. Her moisture envelops you and she's so tight, the way her pussy seems to suck you in all the way to the base. But once you reach that far point, you both let out a loud moan of satisfaction. She's got all of you, every last inch of your shaft has found its home inside her.
Moka rests there for a moment, staring down with these innocent, almost vulnerable brown eyes. From the soft feeling of her velvety interior and the cute, lewd look of her blissful face, you can't help yourself, and buck up into her, plunging even further in. She lets out a gasp and stumbles forward, catching herself on your chest.
"I'm sorry! Are you alright?" you ask.
The dark-haired girl giggles—something that pleases you more than you can describe—and returns to that dainty smile. She pulls her hips and then drives them against you, before groaning, "More than alright."
Moka finds her rhythm. Rolling and grinding her hips, each motion punctuated by her spiking arousal. Her small cunt welcomes the friction, drips with desire. You grip her waist, helping her balance as she bounces in your lap, pushing herself harder and faster each time. She pushes harder, taking more of you, and soon she's crying out your name, begging you to fill her with everything you have.
Her gorgeous form rocks above you. Thrusting vigorously, her little breasts barely bouncing in a way that you can't take your eyes away from. Moka digs her nails into your chest. Her moans and cries grow increasingly desperate.
"You're amazing," Moka moans through her pleasure, voice quivering and trembling with it.
You can feel her clenching tighter and tighter, her insides quaking as she begs, and pleads for release. It brings your climax close, and despite the urgency of her pleasure, she maintains a controlled rhythm. Not so fast as to short-circuit things, keeping you on the very edge of euphoria.
"God, I love the way you..." she exclaims as a bright flush blossoms across her face. She sinks her teeth into her lower lip, muting her sound.
"What?" you struggle to speak as her slick folds wrap so tightly around you.
You don't know what it is, but something catches her attention. Her movements slow and she's searching, somehow peering through the dark outside. The noise has stopped too, usually at night there's a cacophony of singing insects and rustling, fluttering wings, but now nothing. No wind or creak or creasing leaf. Quiet. Dead quiet.
Moka slips off of your cock and crawls backwards to the end of the bed.
"What is it?" you ask.
Moka's lips twitch. Anxiety sets in over her features and she steps away from the bed, toward the window. Moonlight kisses her skin, the pale rays dancing on her shadowy form. Your heart falters and you realise... you really do want her here. Like this. Always.
"Moka?"
A strong gust blows and the window swings open. Her silky hair whips against her face, catching on her lips. She raises her hand, fingers hovering lightly in the moonlight. You remain motionless in fear of breaking whatever is occurring. Nothing feels right, not a single thing. As if the fabric of reality has been slashed in two.
The wind howls. The lights flicker and the fireplace across the room somehow brings itself to light. She turns to face it and the flames illuminate Moka's eyes. They glow a pale violet, the hue all wrong, ghostly. A tremble comes over her, and she says just five words. The last five words you'll ever hear from her.
"I'm sorry. I'll miss you."
Her hand turns to dust. The grains reflect the moon as they blow out of the window. You watch as the rest of her body follows, leaving only the imprint of where she once stood.
Time moves slowly—too slowly—like your heart, which can't beat. Something has broken, something in you, though not a sound passes through your lips. Tears stream from your eyes. The pain, the sorrow, the emptiness—it all feels irreparable. You can't bear it, and without a single word, without a single sound, the world goes black.
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