#well. i say this. last weekend i went to a festival where i p much only drank beer and water for 4 days. also by the pint

[callmepippin]

i had a v fun night last night (i had. maybe somewhat too much to drink) but im on my meds again today which kinda prevent me from sleeping in so i only slept for like. maybe 4 hrs? and when i woke up i was Not yet sober. and tbh i still can't fully think straight but idk if its leftover wine in my system or just the sleep deprivation

[cherrylng]

Coldplay Interview - Chris Martin & Jonny Buckland [INROCK (August 2002)]

"'Parachutes' is an album that’s not worth listening to." - A controversial comment! Coldplay, Chris & Jonny

COLDPLAY / CHRIS MARTIN & JONNY BUCKLAND INTERVIEW & PHOTOS : P.G. BRUNELLI / INROCK

Chris Martin's (vo./g/p.) voice was hoarse that day. The next day it was even worse, he had no voice at all and the whole interview was cancelled. I was relieved to hear about the new album "A Rush of Blood to the Head" a day earlier.

Chris Martin: It was a bad idea to go to Kylie Minogue's after-show party when I had a cold. Everyone was smoking like crazy and I had to talk even though I didn't want to, so it just got worse. I think I'll be better by Glastonbury… (coughs as he says this).

The first album was full of positivity that "it will get better someday," wasn't it? Back then you guys were still unknown newcomers, full of motivation. But this album is less positive, I feel, than you were then. Chris: There's still some optimism left. It's just more realistic than before. Jonny Buckland (g): "Parachutes" had both sides. There were happy, happy parts and there were darker parts than now… Chris: The positive message on this album is "do what you can now, now, before anyone gets in your way". Terrorists, global corporations, nuclear warheads… the list of fear mongering is endless. The message "Live each day to the fullest" is optimistic at first glance, but behind it all, there are people out there who are planning to drop bombs on us and who want to harm us if they get the chance.

There's a lyric in the song "A Whisper" that says "If you can tell me somethin' worth fightin' for"*, does this have anything to do with what you've just said? Chris: No. It's a song about a girl you like or someone you love. If Jonny was in a fight with someone, I wouldn't hesitate to attack them. It's an interesting thing about human nature, even if you're normally a very passive person, when you see someone you love in difficulty, you take aggressive action against the person who's causing you trouble. This song is about revenge in those situations. Although, I don't think revenge is a good idea in any case. It's a song about aggression.

So where's the positive love then? Chris: There's one positive love song on the album, "Green Eyes", about a girl, but other than that it's not that great. All the songs on the album have the message that girls are great, but I don't think I understand girls that well. Jonny does, though. But you can't express that much subtlety with a guitar…

"A Whisper" is like Coldplay's version of Pink Floyd. To be honest, it's such a different type of song that I was surprised. Jonny: Me and Chris and I went to Liverpool while the rest of the band were at home and wrote that song there. I was pretty ill at the time, I couldn't even get a good night's sleep. Then, at 3am, a great chord suddenly came to my head and I couldn't stay still. Chris: We rented a big house for the weekend. It was fine to make loud noises, so I would write songs and play them in the middle of the night. I'd wake him up and he'd put some seriously awesome riffs on the songs I'd written. It was a lot of fun. I came up with the idea on Saturday night and it took me until Monday to write it, and then when the other guys came to Liverpool, we finished it together. That way of songwriting was a lot of fun too.

You played new songs on the US tour and at festivals last year, were these songs easier to play because you'd tried them before? Jonny: Actually, it's harder to play them because they lose their freshness. New songs are much more engrossing and we don't really know what they're going to be like yet. The ideas we all have in our heads don't always come together properly. Chris: Half of the album was written before we went into the studio, and the other half after. As soon as we'd written the new songs, we started to drop the old ones that we'd almost forgotten about, which meant that there were a lot of ideas and bits of songs that didn't really stick and didn't get finished.

Chris, you were in an artist's slump a few months ago, what happened? Chris: Not really an artist's slump… Twelve months ago, we all lost our bearings. I couldn't sing and we didn't play any good shows for a while. So I took a break and did some voice training. Then I got back into singing and playing music again. So I didn't write any songs for a while. If you call it a slump, it wasn't just me, it hit the whole band. But we've overcome it and we're a stronger band now than ever before.

Why did you decide to take voice training? Chris: To improve. And to strengthen my throat. When I lose my voice (as I do now), I feel anxious and insecure. I've actually become more confident in myself and it's paying off on tour. At the concerts last summer, we even got to the point where we didn't care if the audience didn't like us.

Do you think you were a little nervous when you were supporting a heavy metal band like System of a Down? Chris: We tried to have fun. It's pretty funny when people throw beer bottles at your face.

Did you get to work with completely different types of musicians, like DJ Faultline, because you had the training and the confidence to do it? Or do you think you would have done it even if you hadn't? Chris: I think I probably would have. By the way, it's not DJ, just Faultline. I did a couple of songs in my style and they were pretty trippy. (Training) was like running a marathon with a coach, helping me mentally and making sure my voice was taken care of. You might think it's stupid, but it was a lot of fun. I feel like I'm working out, I feel like I'm Rocky (laughs). She pointed out what I was doing wrong and told me what I needed to improve on, which was really helpful.**

It's been reported that you said you were going to break up the band because it would be impossible to make anything beyond a new album. How much of this is true? Chris: I don't remember saying we were breaking up. I do like to keep it vague. It's hilarious that people are so bothered about that sort of thing. What I was trying to say was that we've done a really good album and if we were asked to do another one right away, there wouldn't be any good songs left. I won't release another album until I can do something better than this one. That could take two years, or it could take 12 months…

When you sing "Nobody said it was easy" in "The Scientist", are you referring to the process of making this album? Chris: It's about a girl. The funny thing is, I was complaining to my producer, co-producer, and manager the whole week I was writing this song that I'd never make an album.

How do you know you can't make it? Chris: I just didn't think it was a good song. That was last November. But then this song came in and we were able to breathe new life back into the album. Jonny: After the tour, we spent a few months in a studio in London, trying to start recording. We had a lot of songs ready, and we were euphoric and proud of how good they all sounded. We were so cocky. We didn't doubt that everything was great. But when we listened to them again, they were totally ordinary. There was nothing great about it at all. So Chris and I decided to write more songs. Chris: The Liverpool episode was when the band and the album was finally coming together. In London, it's just too much of a distraction. We have our own house, we have our own friends, Kylie was throwing parties. We needed to get away from all that.

I hear it [the debut album "Parachutes"] was banned in China? Jonny: I don't know if it's still the case, but at first they were bothered by the song "Spies" on "Parachutes." But once we removed that song, we got permission to release it. Chris: I heard that a Chinese singer covered "Yellow" in Chinese and it was a big hit over there.

"I've been like this since I was two years old, and in my primary school's report card it was always written that I should think before I speak, but I haven't changed at all…"

What do you think of the first album now? Chris: An album not worth listening to.

But it's the songs you play on stage, isn't it? Chris: Yeah. That's fine. It's a completely different thing. You hear it, but you don't listen to it. Once you finish it, you don't want to listen to it anymore. (P.G. Note: Do you turn it off every time the song comes on the radio?) Because there's never anything that's good enough, I can't listen to it properly. For example, "See You Soon", a song from our early days. When we played it live last year, I was listening to it back on the record and I was so pissed off. It's not good at all, so I guess that means I'm right. Jonny: I don't think I'll go out of my way to record it again. But I'm angry that we didn't get it right the first time. Chris: The more I think about it, the more I get bogged down in the recording. It's amazing. 50% of the album is devoted to "In My Place", the very first song written. Because it's older, we were able to spend more time on it than the other songs, but it felt strange to spend so much time on just one song.

You don't ever think of giving up and doing something else? Chris: No. The more solid a song is, the more challenging it is. Jonny: The only songs I'd cut out are the ones I don't care about. The harder the song is, the better it is. Chris: The hardest songs on "Parachutes" were "Yellow", "Trouble" and "Everything's Not Lost/Life Is For Living". But I consider those songs to be the best songs on the album. It took me a while to be satisfied with them, though.

You've managed to break out in the US while other UK bands have struggled, was this as planned? Jonny: We didn't expect to get our songs on the radio, we thought we'd struggle more. We were in danger of not even releasing the album. Chris: But once the door was open, we took our time and attacked it. Especially in America, you can't miss an opportunity.

There's a song about Amsterdam, what did you like about that city? Chris: I know Amsterdam has a good image of smoking weed and riding bikes, but it's also a great place to write songs. I wrote this song in Amsterdam. We also wrote one in Milan and one in Australia, but we can't name all the cities.

You write songs while you're on tour? Jonny: Yeah. We write all the time. Sometimes we rehearse new songs at soundchecks and sometimes we arrange them. It's a whole new dynamic playing new songs at gigs. Chris: We try to play new songs as much as possible. We come up with new ideas during soundchecks, experiment with them, and sometimes just finish them. Jonny wrote his part of "Amsterdam" during a show. That was really amazing. We decided to play it at the end of the Sydney show. We didn't even have a title yet. He said he didn't know his part, so I told him to improvise whatever he wanted! And it worked out well.

Were you aware of the expectations? Did you keep writing songs until you burned out of anxiety? Jonny: I love writing songs. There were times when that was on my mind. I also wanted to have as many songs ready as possible so that when we went into the studio we had a lot to choose from.

Chris, you get in trouble a lot because of your bad mouth, don't you? Chris: Yeah, that's true. A lot of singers get into trouble because of their bad mouths. It's a strange feeling when you say something stupid and then you hear it all over again. For example, say I just said we're better than the Beatles…

Then I wonder if you were doing a Noel Gallagher impersonation. Actually, he's been quoted as saying Oasis are bigger than God. Chris: John Lennon never said that. …I've been like this since I was two years old, and I've always been told to think before I speak in my school report card, but I haven't learnt a thing. I'm sure I won't get over it until I die.

Do you think you've changed since becoming famous? Chris: It's hard to say. There's always more information coming in and it affects you little by little. It's hard for me to say until later, when I can look back on it. But as long as you keep a low profile, it's not too much of a problem. We're not that famous, so we can walk down the street like normal people. I don't think Madonna would be noticed if she was wearing a ponytail and jeans. They'd recognise her if she'd show up in a limo with her bodyguards. I've even been asked a few times by people who don't know I'm a member of Coldplay what I think about Coldplay. I get annoyed when people say they don't like us, but it doesn't make me feel insecure. They just don't like it. When Jonny and I started the band five years ago, we wanted to put two more people in the band and play concerts. A lot has changed since then. But from the beginning our goal was to be the best band in the world and that hasn't changed. The little ambitions (number one album, playing at Glastonbury) are always changing though.

Recorded in London on May 28th

Translator’s Note: To sum it up, in Chris’ words, the second album’s entire theme was about “Girls, girls, girls” LMAO

I've tried to find where and when exactly Coldplay (or Chris) played with System of a Down, but records of such a concert is very hard for me to find. Because both Coldplay and SOAD's documentation of their tour dates covering from 2000-2002 basically either has been abandoned for years (Coldplay Timeline) or never properly documented (SOAD's Toxicity tour), I can't find actual verification to correlate Chris' claims.

Sooooo there’s also some things to point out.

*I tried to find such a lyric in ���A Whisper”, but there were no such lines that existed in the song. Then I figured that it must’ve been on another song, and I found that the line was actually on the next track, “A Rush of Blood to the Head”.

**I think in this part, Chris was talking about two different people, Faultline and the vocal training coach that he was taking lessons from. Because Faultline’s actual name is David Kosten, but the vocal training coach was referred to as a woman in the original text.

Please do support me with my Ko-fi! ☕

[40sandfabulousaf]

大家好! KY, JK, SC, CY, ML and I attended an event at a restaurant in Chinatown. The event began in the evening, just as the Mid Autumn festival decorations lit up. The guests at our table were hilarious; jokes and sarcastic barbs flew in all directions, eliciting plenty of laughter. It was a wonderful night and we had a lot of fun!

We're having more cloudy and rainy days now. Last weekend was pretty cold, which had me craving local comfort foods. Chicken rice, chilli crab, laksa and char kway teow are our delicious national dishes but where local comfort foods are concerned, a few stand out to me. What I've been craving are yu yuan mian tang (fishball noodle soup) as well as bak chor mee (minced pork noodles). Yu yuan mian tang is kinda like a no-brainer meal that we order when there're no particular cravings.

Our world famous national dish is comfort food during chilly weather. Laksa hits the spot on rainy days; in order to cut down the amount of saturated fat, I leave most of the gravy behind although I do sneak in a few spoonfuls of soup. Aside from coconut milk, the ingredients are moderately healthy; there is no meat, only tofu puffs, tofu skin, fish cake, cockles, bean sprouts and thick bee hoon (rice vermicelli). Some stalls add an egg; elevated versions at hotel cafes include lobster, scallops, prawns, mussels and other seafood. Like curry chicken, laksa is a firm favourite as we enter the rainy season because the spice keeps us warm.

This week, it's mostly slurp-worthy noodles and piping hot, comforting soup. As we begin the final quarter of 2023 (it's 1 October here at the time of posting) and head into the rainy season, these dishes will be what I crave most. Time flies; catch ups with LW and YL are overdue and we've made arrangements to meet this month. Will recommend soup noodles to them 😋 I'll also be bringing Pa out for lunch and we'll possibly have soup noodles too 😋

Now that we've entered the final quarter of the year, there's much to reflect upon. The world has been through much these few years; just as we thought covid and the hardships associated with it were behind us, inflation went haywire. I'll share my thoughts, as well as my hopes and prayers in upcoming posts. For now, time to catch up on exciting Asian Games news. 下次见!

P/S: I forgot to add, Happy National Day to the PRC!

[godhasforsnakenme]

November was quite productive at the beginning, so much that I made a damn list with a bit of commentary:

Loki s2 Ending :D (just murder me k? but also lokius canon idgaf; also have you seen the fanart where croki takes over tree sitting for a while so loki can go back to mobius for the holidays omfg the best thing ever)

Fellow Travelers (p*ramount+, on-going plus I read the book [have yet to finish the book lol])

Continuing Psych (half way through s3 now, and I'd just like to say thar it always breaks my heart a bit when Shawn realizes his mom was the one that left his dad, not the other way around [bc of course Henry would take the blame and just take the hate from Shawn all these years just to keep Madeleine in good graces]

Rewatch of Hunger Games (yes, also read the books)

Vuelve a Mí (p*acock, on-going)

Elemental (d*sney)

No Hard Feelings (2023)

All the Light We Cannot See

Rewatch of The Pacific & Band of Brothers (first watched in high school during our WWII unit in History 101/102; then during that one weekend in the hospital during 2020)

Rewatch of Six Feet Under (Peter Krause, my beloved)

Backdraft (1991) [this also begun a Robert DeNiro film rewatch including Hide & Seek, Awakening {which lead to a Robin Williams film rewatch and then me rereading Chris Van Allsburg's entire children's book catalog because it's some of my favorite content from when I was in 3rd grade} oh boy it turned into a rabbit hole very fast didn't it? ]

Danny Phantom + Over The Garden Wall (cannot believe I waited this long into the fall season and well past spooky month to watch them omfg)

Goosebumps Series (again with the waiting for the last month of fall to watch the spooky month stuff omfg, anyway I enjoyed it)

The Spiderwick Chronicles (planning on rereading the books as well [gonna see if I want to rent them through libby or just buy the set? But then I want the classic covers on them that I remember from elementary school)

Bridgewater (podcast, both seasons [picking it back up from where I left off back in 2021 because that's that one year I dropped a lot of projects due to the shit show that was November and yeah I then said welp s2 is out next year and continued to push it back until now)

Yellowstone (reminded us of longmire, can't wait for s5 part b)

Doctor Who Specials (had us in the first half [twice] ngl [did a separate post with my final thoughts on the giggle, so yeah, that's that {feel like I need to rewatch the Christmas special to get an honest opinion out of it bc I watched it while a bit distracted])

For December, it's short because I spent my afternoons shopping and giftwrapping; also, the days really go by quick because for the most part I spent them in other people's company :)

Per tradition, the SpongeBob s1 special 'Christmas Who?'

Then all three versions of The Grinch to keep it festive lol (little grinch in the animated version with Benny boy is adorable)

Dr. Death s1 (oh boy, gonna start s2 soon)

Last, and most definitely think least lmaoooo, What If s2 because I like the animations and quick snippets of aus (but trust and believe I hate the fucking c*ptain carter narrative with a passion)

And that's a wrap on all the stuff I watched in 2023! Might do this again, who knows or might even just do a books finished reading thing or anything else I join in on lol

Oh, and honorable mention: since like the summer, I've been joining in on tiktok to watch streamer Hawkeyedood & his mario64 speed runs; think he deserves an award because that is one thing I joined in to watch just about everytime the notification went off without eventually getting bored of it lol

January's brain rot was mostly Obikin, plus whatever else my brain has decided to completely blank on (it was a long month okay?)

February would like to add on Longmire & Miraculous to the mix, along with the yearly switching from football to baseball mode

[mandoalorian]

Sinner [Dark!Din Djarin x F!Reader] *SMUT*

Summary: The Mandalorian has been attending confession for weeks now, with the sole intensive purpose to see you. 

Rating: 18+ smut

Warnings: Dark!Din, implied age difference, religion kink (don’t come for me...), sex in a place of worship, smut: loss of virginity, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, degradation, unprotected p in v, cunningless, death mention, alcohol mention, brothel mention. 

Word Count: 4000+

Masterlist

REBLOGS APPRECIATED!<3

He’d been coming to confess for about a year now. He’d gone off the rails when he lost the kid. You’d heard rumours about the Mandalorian — strong, fierce, brave... a warrior. You certainly wouldn’t have pinned him for a man of faith. You’d seen him a few times when you were shadowing your father in church. He was tall, broad shouldered, and only came during the dead of night, when the abbey was completely isolated.

“Hello,” you greeted him, your soft voice echoing throughout the chambers. Your crimson red heels clicked against the marble floor beneath you as you approached the masked figure. Curtseying politely and removing your hood, you couldn’t help but bat your eyelashes in the direction the Mandalorian. “It’s quite late. I was just closing for the night.” you admitted, biting down on your lower lip in hope that he’d understand.

“I thought places of worship aren’t supposed to close?” He countered quizzically, an air of amusement in his voice. 

“You’re right, technically,” you hummed, picking at your nails as a wash of nerves flooded over you. “But my father is out of town and... I need to sleep.”

That’s where he recognised you from— you were the daughter of the Grand Bishop. He’d seen you before, doting around the abbey in your signature black gown and red robes. You were hard to miss, your beauty being beyond standards of measure. Yes, he knew you. He had noticed you watching him from the pillars above, when you thought nobody was looking. He noticed the way you’d deliberately brush past his body... desperate for just the slightest touch. He recognised your scent too; it was sweet like honey. And your ruby coloured lips. He’d dreamt of them plenty of times. It was really you.

“Where is he?” The Mandalorian asked after a beat of prolonged silence.

“He was requested by Senator Berenko to present evening mass on Naboo, for the Festival of Lights.” you explained, probably offering a little too much information.

“When will he be back?”

“Next week.”

“Well, I’ll be back then.” 

No, you couldn’t just let him leave. You couldn’t just let him walk away from you. This was your chance. In a fluster, you extended your arm and pawed at his bicep. He froze under your touch, and you hoped that you hadn’t overstepped. 

“Are— you’re here to confess. Aren’t you?” you asked him with a nervous gulp. Maker, why were you so nervous? The Mandalorian didn’t say anything, so you heeded to continue. “I’ve seen you come by before. I know you speak to my father usually but— I can do it. The confession, I mean. I’ve been shadowing my father for the past few months— training with him. I can do it. If... if you’d like me to.”

The Mandalorian took a moment to process your words. Maker; you were a sight to behold. Your eyes were starry and reflective of the galaxy he’d spent so long venturing. Your skin was soft and delicate. You were pure— untouched— holy. He was afraid the discussion of his sins might be a bit too much for you to handle. 

Or maybe there was something more.

Maybe he was afraid that once he’d start opening up to you, he wouldn’t be able to stop. He wouldn’t be able to resist you.

“Aren’t you a little young?” The Mandalorian scoffed incredulously, bringing his leather gloved hand to his helmet, his thumb grazing the cloth between his chin and his neck. His rude manner didn’t surprise you at all, but yet, you kept a strong posture and held your head high.

“I’m old enough.” you declared, not ripping your gaze from him once. Even through the dark tinted visor of his helmet, it felt like you were looking into his eyes, staring deep into his soul. 

So, he agreed. You told him to wait in the confession box by the altar. “I won’t be long, I just have to lock up and turn out the lights.”

As you walked down the aisle, you lit a match and ignited some candles. They were tall and made from beeswax, and the flicking amber flames provided barely enough light. But it had to be enough. It had to do. The wax dripped down the sculptures and chambersticks, pooling into swirls of hardening ivory. 

The Mandalorian waited for you in the confession box, having already discarded the plates of his beskar armour. It was hard to wear, and heavy on his back, but he felt safe… here, with you. He had no reason to be still wearing it. No more fighting tonight, he hoped.

The image of you couldn’t escape his mind, no matter how hard he tried. Dirty thoughts — it was wrong of him. You were the Grand Bishop’s daughter for Heaven’s sake.

When you entered your side of the confession box, your full intention was to follow the ordinary strict protocol. There was no reason for distraction.

“State your name for the records,” you requested, shuffling around as you worked on getting comfortable in your chair.

“Din Djarin.”

Din Djarin. It was a beautiful name. Your mind immediately went to pairing his last name with your first name, and then you cursed yourself for the inappropriate thought. 

“Din,” his name left your lips like the sweetest tasting honey. “Why are you here today? What would you like to confess?”

“I went to Corellia over the weekend,” he announced, his voice cold through the modulator. “The bad part— well, it’s all bad over there,” he corrected himself before continuing. “Got into some trouble gambling at Lady Proxima’s casino and a bunch of white worms surrounded me. So I killed them, all of them. I didn’t have to. But I did. I murdered them in cold blood.”

It was in that moment you learned how dangerous of a man The Mandalorian was. His beskar armour was just as cold as his heart.

“Wh— why did you kill them?” you asked timidly, almost afraid to know the answer.

“For the release. The adrenaline. The feeling of power. I can’t escape it. Have you ever killed?”

“N—no.”

Din scoffed incredulously. “Of course you haven’t.”

“What do you do after you kill?” you inquired, hoping to change the subject.

“Corellia has the best brothels… cheap too. I sought them out and look for a quick fuck.”

“Out of wedlock?” you pondered with a queasy frown.

Din laughed. “You’re asking if I’m married?”

He was right, it was a foolish question. 

“Do you enjoy your time at the brothel? Or do you regret it soon after?” you wondered.

Another laugh— and Maker, he made you feel terrible. Were you really that bad at this? 

“Yes, I enjoy myself. The girls there are pretty little things. Needy. Desperate. But— it’s not special, you know? It’s not… not exactly what I crave.”

“What do you crave?”

“To touch someone untouched. Pure. Holy…” the Mandalorian trailed off. “So, when I fuck the girls at the brothel, I tend to think of the Grand Bishop’s daughter.” He revealed, feeling his cock harden in the confines of his pants at the memory. You swallowed, a wave of heat immediately washing over you. You. He was thinking about you.

This was ridiculous. Was he messing with you? He had to have been messing with you. Sure, he’d seen you around before but neither of you had even held a conversation, prior to today. And he’d been thinking about you while he was sleeping with other women? You had to suck it up and remain professional, no matter how much it irked you. He was here to confess and you couldn’t let this become personal.

But it was so hard. Maker, why was it this hard? Was it because you’d thought about him too? Because you’d imagined his cock in place of your fingers, at night when everyone else is sleeping? You yearned to know more. You ached to know the details. Surely that was fair. He was speaking about you, after all.

You could already feel your panties begin to dampen with arousal. How could one man have such an effect on you? In your place of worship too. You wanted to punch him, kick him, take out all your anger on him. But most importantly, you wanted him. His touch. His hands on your body and his cock splitting you open. That’s what you wanted the most.

“What did— what did you think of?” You swallowed, anticipating the details. You were glad he couldn’t see how flustered and hot you were right now. It certainly wasn’t in the code for you to ask about details such as this but… surely one question would do no harm.

You could just about hear Din chuckle, from the other side of the wall, and it made your slick wet cunt clench around absolutely nothing. He was driving you feral. “I’d think about her ruby red lips and how they’d look wrapped around my cock. I’d imagine fucking her mouth, making her gag— wanting her to cry. I’d want to see the tears stream down her cheeks as I give her my all. And finally, I’d imagine her letting me cum down her throat.”

There was something about him talking about you, to you, in third person. Like you weren’t supposed to be there, listening. Like this information was not made for your ears.

Your panties were soaked at the thought. You couldn’t believe it. All this time, all these sessions of confession with your father, and it had only stirred him on more. He’d been going to confess, only to see you. 

“Tell me, princess. How does that make you feel?”

Shit. He could not be serious right now. You placed your palm flat against the wall and took a deep breath. “Mando, you’re here to confess. Not me.”

You tried to shut out his words, but your body ached for him. Ached to feel him… touch him. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you — but it would be wrong. It would be so wrong.

Another chuckle. You hated when he did that. As if all of this was some kind of joke to him. Did he even know what he was doing to you? It was like torture. 

“See, the Grand Bishop’s daughter… oh wow. She’s a vision. She dotes crimson red lips and she walks around as if she owns the place, her stiletto heels clicking against the floor. She’s bad, like the devil in disguise, and yet, I know her. She’s young and untouched. Her father will probably marry her off to some other minister in the outer-rim, ship her away for good. And she’ll be forced to deal with very mediocre sex for the rest of her life. Which is a shame, really, because she deserves better. You deserve better.”

“You have no idea who I am.” you spat out, feeling your cheeks burn with rage. How dare he make these assumptions about you and your family. This crude, older man with a tongue that could kill. How dare he. 

You wanted to be mad at him so bad. He couldn’t possibly get away with this. But he was going to. Because what exactly could you do? 

“She’ll never know how it feels to be stretched open by a real cock,” Din gritted out, dismissing your comment completely. “F—fuck.”

Din was palming himself through his pants, desperate for some kind of release. His sleuth, dirty words set a fire blazing in your core. You wanted it too. You wanted it so bad. You contemplated all the things you could do, all the actions and their consequences. You and the Mandalorian, both in the confession box. You couldn’t even see one another… the prolonged silence on your end prompted Din to get up and leave when he heard your honey velvet voice speak once more.

You had to say something.

“When the lights are out and everyone is asleep, I think about you,” you confessed, hating the way the croaky admission left your lips. You’d done it now. Din’s head snapped upwards to face the wall and oh how he wished he could see you right now. You were squirming around in your chair and when you heard the zipper of his pants become undone, you knew it was your queue to continue. “I touch myself. It’s hard to keep quiet… thinking about you. I imagine you touching me… running your gloved hands all over my body,” you bring your hand to your breast and give it a little squeeze. “I figure.. maybe you don’t take the gloves off. You praise me when you feel how wet I am, and I tell you that it’s all for you. I’m all yours. To use however you like. I want you to ruin me. Spoil me for any other man. Fuck me until I cant walk. Bite me, give me marks I have to hide during tomorrow’s mass.”

Din made a fist around his cock and began to pump as he listened to the dirty words that left your holy lips. His grunts and groans echoed throughout the box and went straight to your core. Oh how you wished you could see him right now. Peeling up the hem of your robe, you slid your fingers under the waistband of your panties and began to rub tight circles into your clit. 

“You’re a virgin?” he asked, although it came out more so like a statement. Like he already knew the answer. 

“Ye-yeah,” you whimpered, quickening your pace.

He was achingly stiff now, beads of milky white precum already dripping down his shaft.

“You want this?” He quizzed. “You want my cock right now? Think you deserve it?”

And in that moment, you made your decision.

Maybe this life that your father had given you, just wasn’t for you.

“Y-yes, oh God yes. I deserve it.”

A low and dark chuckle left Din’s lips. “You’ve been a child of God your whole life. But you want this, yes? You’ve been waiting for this?”

He was right. You had been waiting for this. 

“P-please Din, please. Wreck me. Ruin me.”

“In the chapel too?” he laughed, rising to his feet. “You really are desperate. C’mon then.”

In a fluster, you practically fell out of your side of the confession box.

The Mandalorian stalked towards you with his cock in his hand, jerking himself off as he got nearer and nearer. His eyes didn’t leave you once and although you couldn’t see his face, you could only imagine the predatory glint in his eye. Maker he was huge, and thick, and you wondered how you’d ever be able to take him.

You weren’t used to this— Maker, you’d never done anything like this before. There was no way your fingers would ever be able to compare to the size of the Mandalorian. 

“Are you sure you want this?” he grunted, releasing his cock and grabbing your throat, giving it an experimental squeeze. You nodded your head desperately and subconsciously licked your lower lip. “I must know. If I start, I won’t be able to stop. Do you want me to claim you?”

Just like Hades claimed Persephone? You shut the absent thought out of your mind and agreed to his proposition.

“I do.”

If it was so wrong, why did it feel so right? You had dreamt of this moment. How could you ever deny him? 

He pinned you against the altar and tapped at your thigh, gesturing for you to open your legs up. His eyes dropped straight to your dripping core and he had to hold back a guttural moan.

Din wasted no time and rubbed his cock along your slick wet folds. For a second you were afraid he’d knock over the many burning candles that you had lit earlier in the evening, before your little confession session had begun. But, to no surprise of your own, the Mandalorian had extremely good coordination. 

“Oh f-fuck, such a pretty little thing. So warm, bet— bet you feel so fucking good.” Din mumbled utterances of praise, his grip tightening around your wrists as he propped you up. 

Every now and again the bulbous tip of his cock rubbed over your clit and the sensation practically sent you into orbit. You were touch starved, having never experienced intimacy like this with anyone before. “Do you want me to fuck you now, huh? Want me to fuck that pretty little cunt of yours?”

You whimpered a small ‘yes’ and Din chuckled darkly, tapping his cock against your cunt before sliding into you with one swift movement.

You let out a squeal, your fingernails digging into the muscles of his back as he seated deep inside you. Underneath his helmet, his perfect lips were parted into an ‘O’ shape as your fluttering walls clenched around him and made him feel like he was home.

“Fuck— so tight, so fucking tight. Just like I’d imagined.” He murmured, feeling like he was already seeing stars. 

Din thrust upwards into you, the curve of his cock stretching you open and pulsating inside of you. His movements were rough and bruising, as his fingers dug into the soft flesh at your hips as he held onto you for support. Just like you’d requested, he was completely and utterly using you. 

“How’s that?” his gasp rolled into an achingly long groan as his balls slapped against your cunt, creating the most obscene wet sounds.

It was uncomfortable at first. He wasn’t soft or gentle by any means, but you’d anticipated that. After just a few thrusts, the intrusive pain turned into bolts of pleasure that coursed through your veins. It clouded your vision like white noise— like what the red berry wine you’d drink during Sunday mass would do to your mind. Din grabbed at the thin cloth that covered your chest, and ripped it off, exposing your bare breasts to him. A sheen of glistening sweat glazed your skin like the most beautiful honey dew. The Mandalorian was tall and broad, and as he towered over you, he coated you in his dark shadow.

His large hands palmed at your breasts and you moaned at the sudden, unexpected contact. He continued thrusting, fucking you mercilessly. With every movement, he hit that sweet spot inside of you, and you knew he’d been doing this for a long time. He was definitely experienced.

He dropped his hand for your chest and lowered it to your clit, expertly moving his two fingers across your bundle of nerves. That feeling, combined with his thick cock, was enough to send you over the edge. 

“Oh yes, yes, yes,” you chanted his name like it was a prayer— and he felt powerful.

The Mandalorian grinned wolfishly under his helmet as he increased his speed. You were seeing stars and it felt like your whole body was trapped under a spell. His spell.

“I ca- oh I can’t, I’m close, I’m close,” you cried as he continued to rock his hips into yours.

You hugged his body into yours, wishing the pleasure would never end. With every twitch of his cock he watched you intently. He watched the way your body reacted to him, revelling in the way your face screwed up in heated pleasure. Din adored the way your brow knitted together and your mouth parted as the most angelic noises omitted from your plush lips. 

“Have you ever felt so alive than you do right now, with me inside of you?” Din queried with a grunt.

“No,” you answered, shaking your head profusely. “Please don’t stop.”

Your orgasm ripped through you like a tornado and without warning, The Mandalorian split his seed deep inside of you, his salty cum roping your perfect walls as they gripped down around his cock. Now he had marked you for life.

Din returned to confession a week later when your father had returned from the Festival of Lights. There was no reason for you to see The Mandalorian anymore. 

“Forgive me, Grand Bishop, for I have sinned yet again.” Din announced, his voice clear as daylight after discarding his beskar helmet. He ran a gloved hand over his face.

“Another kill?” your father inquired, but from the other side of the wall, Din could only smirk.

“I’ve met a woman. A holy woman. And she has consumed my every thought. When I think about her I feel more inclined to sin, over and over again.” 

It was true. Your ruby red lips, high heels, thin robes… Din had become completely enraptured with you. 

Your father spent a moment contemplating the Mandalorian’s words, finding that he was speaking a lot differently than ever before. Not as ruthless or dangerous— but almost genuine.

“Would you give your body to this holy woman, if she requested you do so?” The Grand Bishop asked, not realising he was speaking about you, his own daughter.

“I already have,” Din confessed, subconsciously licking a stripe over his lower lip, at the memory of your taste. “And I would do it again.”

-—-—-—♡—-—-—-

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[thatesqcrush]

The Nanny, Part 3.

Bryan Kneef x Reader. Follow-up to part two. You can read part one here. Warnings: NSFW - smut, spanking, oral, squirting, daddy kink, p in v sex, masturbation (m & f), language. Also CW: physical violence (smack across the face). WC: 6.5K

S/O: @beccabarba for beta'ing not 1 but 2 versions of this story and for words of encouragement/support.

If you had a nickel for the amount of times you and Bryan each said “this can’t happen again”, you wouldn’t even need to be a nanny anymore. Once again, you found yourself tangled in Bryan’s sheets in post-coital bliss.

You were laying on your side, with your head propped on your hand. “That’s one hell of a way to wake up.” You murmured, to which Bryan let out a low chuckle.

“You’re welcome.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sometimes I swear that ego of yours is bigger than that cock of yours.”

“You fucking love it.” Bryan replied as he covered his body with yours and rolled, so he was on top of you. He used his knee to part your legs, not that they needed much from his part to open wide.

Your eyes searched his green eyes, which were sparkling. You wrapped a hand around his sweat slicked neck, and pulled him down for a kiss. The kiss started softly, but quickly ramped up in intensity. A low rumble emanated from his chest as he started rocking his hips into yours. You felt his cock, beginning to harden once more and your arousal shot through you like lightening.

Bryan’s lips found purchase on your neck and you let out a gasp as he sucked a mark into your skin, leaving a bruise. You let out a throaty moan as he followed with his teeth grazing the bruised skin before soothing the spot with his warm, wet tongue.

Your nipples were rock solid, despite his warm body on top of you. You elongated your neck to give him further access to your neck when your eyes caught the time on his clock.

“Shit I should go, the kids will be up soon for school!”

Bryan pressed a kiss on your lips before giving your ass a sharp smack. “Okay.”

You swung off Bryan and grabbed your clothes that were crumpled in the corner of the room. You playfully tossed your ruined panties to Bryan before you slipped on your sleep shorts and t-shirt. “I can’t find my panties.” You stated out loud, really to yourself more than to Bryan.

Bryan let out a low whistle and when you turned to him, you saw he had them hanging off the tip of his index finger. You smirked and you walked over to him. You reached to grab them and he pulled them back, balling them up in his fist.

“Fine, keep them. May they bring you fond memories.” You poked his chest with your finger. “Since this is the last time.”

Bryan’s gaze changed and his eyes hardened. He reached for you, and pulled you close to him with a strong arm. “Right.”

You leaned up to kiss him, and the kiss was quick and brief, as he pulled away. You opened your mouth to say something but found yourself unable to say anything. So instead, you spun on your heels and made your way out. You quietly shut the door behind you and when you turned around, you nearly bumped into Jasper. He rubbed his eyes before looking at you curiously. “Ms. Y/N, what were you doing in my dad’s room?”

“Jasper! Um.” You began, your cheeks burning, racking your brain for something to say to the seven year old. “I had to help your dad with something. It’s still early, why don’t you go back to bed and I’ll come get you when it’s time for breakfast. How about chocolate chip pancakes?”

Jasper yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Okay.” You sighed inwardly and walked Jasper down the hall back to his room.

Back in your room, you showered and freshened up. You were still tingly all over from sleeping with Bryan earlier. Part of you wondered if it was really the last time and if you thought about it too much, an uncomfortable feeling gnawed at your insides.

Deep down though, you knew, it wasn’t.

***

Later that evening, you settled into bed with your tablet, hoping that a good book would quiet your mind from other thoughts. You pulled the comforter up to your waist and turned all but one light off. Before opening your latest read, you decided to check your email.

“Junk, junk, junk.” You murmured to yourself as you went through your inbox. There was one email that caught your eye.

It was from your cousin in New York who was getting married in less than a month. You were a bridesmaid and it was an invitation to her bachelorette festivities in The Hamptons.

You made a mental note to ask Bryan about time off to attend in the morning.

***

“Where are you going again?” Bryan asked as he followed you into the kitchen. You pulled a carafe of orange juice from the fridge as well as some cut-up fruit. You used your foot to shut the fridge door and set everything on the marbled breakfast bar.

You watched Bryan as walked by, inwardly groaning. He was shirtless, in casual sleep shorts. Your eyes raked over his muscular chest, knowing how good it felt to grip when you rode him. How the smattering of salt and pepper chest hair felt against your nipples. How he always kept it trim and it made a perfect trail to…

“The Hamptons.” You replied, shaking your head out of its reverie. “She rented a beach house for the weekend and we’re just basically going to drink and work on our tans.”

“Mmm.” Bryan reached for a glass and made his way towards you. Your breath hitched as he approached you from behind. You could feel his breath hot on your neck as he reached past you for the carafe of orange juice.

“I should be so jealous.”

You tensed, straightening your back. “How so?” you squeaked.

You felt Bryan push your hair off your neck and felt his beard tickle your skin. “I’d love to see you in a bathing suit.”

You laughed and turned around. Your heart raced as you were almost nose to nose with the litigator. “Bryan, you’ve seen me naked. I have had your dick in my mouth.”

Bryan smirked. “It’s different.” He brought the carafe to his mouth and drank it. You watched as his Adam's apple bobbed in his neck and all you wanted to do in that moment was to hop on the counter and let him have his way from you. Bryan set the orange juice down and licked his lips. Your cunt clenched around nothing and you were certain your face was flushing.

“Oh.”

Bryan winked and left, but not before grabbing a piece of melon and plucking it into his mouth.

***

Time flew and soon it was the morning of when you were to head out to the East Coast.

“Jasper, Sandrine, be on your best behavior this weekend.” You said, crouching between the two tow headed children. “Try not to give your dad a hard time.” Please.” you added after a beat.

“We won’t.” Sandrine replied. “Promise.”

Jasper nodded eagerly. “Bring us a souvenir?” he asked, his voice hopeful.

“Of course!” You replied. You heard a car honk outside. You stood and ruffled Jasper’s hair. You looked past him, to Bryan. “That must be my ride.”

“Really should have let me drive you.” Bryan gruffed.

You smiled. “It’s not a big deal. I’ll only be gone for the weekend. I’ll be back Sunday night. Not even a two hour flight.”

“Let me at least walk you out and help you with your luggage.”

You didn’t miss how his hand cradled your lower back as he walked you out. After your luggage was put in the trunk, Bryan handed the driver some cash, telling him to keep the change. Before you got in the car, Bryan surprised you by kissing you. “You’ll be missed.”

The two of you were completely unaware of four little eyes watching from behind the window adjacent to the door.

***

Bryan was sure you were having a great time. He didn’t want to seem overbearing but he was curious as to how you were doing. He quickly learned how much of a good time you were having through your instagram since you followed each other. He smiled at the pictures of you and your cousins. It looked like you were having a great time. Bryan couldn't help but admit that his feelings for you were becoming more.

You were dancing with your cousin and her friends at a dive bar. You were in a bikini top and shorts, rolled at the waist but undone, around a bonfire. Random shots of you hugging people. There was one photo in particular he wasn’t wild about but he was sure it was nothing more - you were in the middle of the shot, sandwiched between who he deduced was your cousin and some young blond man. The blond wrapped his arm around your waist and you were smiling.

There were also some interesting text messages. One was a photo of you in your suit, as he requested, and then there was one of you nude, from the neck below.

You were back in your room, after having one too many drinks. You changed your clothes and climbed into bed. A thought occurred to you - your roommate - a friend of your cousins - was off hooking up with some random person - you could call Bryan and have a little phone sex. You climbed into bed and reached for your phone.

You pouted as your call went to voicemail. “Hi Bryan - oh, I’m sorry.” You slurred. “I mean daddy. Right? You like it when I call you that right? I miss you so much. I wish you were here with me. I am so lonely and so fucking wet for you.” Your hands drifted down to the middle of your legs and you began to touch yourself. You continued to play with yourself while talking into the phone. “It’s never off the table - you and I. I am always yours for the taking.”

You began to rub yourself more quickly, feeling the coil inside of you about to burst. “Oh yes, daddy! Fuck!”

As you came down, your phone beeped. You looked back at the phone. It was dead.

You threw your head back onto the pillow, irritated. You sat up and reached for your charger and plugged it in. As you waited for the phone to charge, your eyes became heavy and soon you were asleep.

***

Meanwhile in Chicago, Bryan sat in his office, trying to finish a brief. The kids were asleep in their rooms. He looked at the clock, and wondered if you were still awake. He picked up his phone and was about to call you, when he changed his mind and decided to pull up the picture of you naked once more. Bryan’s cock twitched and his thumb trailed over you. He stood and lowered his pants and boxers, so they were around his ankles. His cock was hard and weeping. He stroked himself as his mind drifted back to the last time he fucked you. He remembered how your body swayed from the pull of his hands drawing you back on his cock.

He stroked himself rhythmically, squeezing at the base with every downstroke. Bryan let his thumb glide across the head of his cock, smearing pre-cum. Bryan released himself and spit into his hand before resuming his movements, now stroking faster. Bryan stared at the picture of you and let out a moan, imagining it was you sucking and stroking him instead. He recalled how wet you were, how good your pussy felt wrapped around his cock, taking him deep.

Bryan’s balls began to feel heavy and that familiar coil in his gut began to emerge, signaling his need for release. He began to stroke himself feverishly, working faster and faster. He gripped his phone hard before releasing it knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer. Bryan’s hips jerk forward as cum pumped out in hot and fast spurts all over his fist. He attempted to make it last by continuing to stroke himself languidly, squeezing out every last bit of cum. With a grunt and shuddering sigh, Bryan felt incredible relief. Bryan tried to bring his labored breathing back to normal so that he could clean himself up. He was so distracted while cleaning up, he didn’t see the incoming missed call from you, or your voicemail.

***

The next morning, you woke up to a few texts from Bryan double checking when your flight came in. You responded and inquired how the kids were in your absence. ‘Fine.’

If you were paranoid, you would have felt uncomfortable at his short reply. You showered and since it was still warm out in New York, chose a sundress and a cardigan.

You said goodbye to your cousin and her friends, and took a cab to the airport. You made sure to stop at the giftshop to pick up some souvenirs for Sandrine and Jasper. You found a chintzy cigar ashtray emblazoned with I “heart” NY and picked that up for Bryan.

It was to your surprise that you found Bryan waiting at arrivals with Jasper and Sandrine. You laughed at the sign Jasper held with your name. “Did you all miss me?” You asked.

“Dad doesn’t make the pancakes like you make them.” Sandrine replied, with a roll of her eyes as you all walked to the parking lot.

“I am sure he did just fine.” You replied.

Bryan grunted in response and you looked his way, your brow arched. After waiting a beat and realizing he wasn’t going to say anything further, you turned your attention back to the children.

“Well, I missed you all tons. It was not the same without you three.” You replied as Sandrine took your hand.

“You sure looked like you were having fun.” Bryan muttered under his breath as you all approached his car. Bryan took your bag and unceremoniously dropped it into the trunk. While you knew Bryan had a temper - you couldn’t chalk what you did to upset him. ‘Maybe just work bullshit.’ you thought to yourself as you got in the car.

***

Dinner that night was takeout - Chinese - and you all sat around the coffee table, very informally as a movie played. Bryan sat on the couch, sipping his drink and picking at dinner. After the last fortune cookie was read, Bryan cleaned up and you got the kids ready for bed.

You tucked the kids for the night and then made way to find Bryan. He was in his study, his back to you as he looked out the window. Before you could even announce your presence, he beckoned you in.

Still looking outside the window, Bryan took a long sip of his drink. “You had a lot of fun this weekend, didn’t you?”

“I did.” You admitted, rather slowly as you approached him from behind. “Is there some kind of a problem?”

“You were naughty. I saw the pictures, prancing around in that little bikini, flaunting those tits. I saw how that guy had his arm wrapped around you.”

“Him?” You exclaimed before letting out a sardonic chuckle. “He grabbed my ass and I smacked him. Besides,” you continued, “what does it matter? It’s not like I am your girlfriend. What? Are you pissed you had to deal with your children for once on a whole given weekend?”

“Excuse me?” Bryan turned to face you. “What did you say?”

You crossed your arms, which pushed your tits further up in the sundress you still wore.

“You heard me.” You challenged, your chin jutted upwards in defiance.

“I heard that little message you left me too.”

You stared at him confusedly for a minute and then your eyes widened in realization.

Bryan took out his cellphone and pressed play on the voicemail message that you didn’t recall leaving. Your mouth dropped as you heard yourself masturbating and then coming.

Bryan tossed his phone onto the desk followed by the glass, which left the sound of a plink. He stalked you with long strides and when you blinked, he materialized in front of you. You looked up at him, and he could see the fire in your eyes.

Bryan pulled you to him, and his hands were immediately on your ass, squeezing and groping. Your hands cupped his cheeks as you pressed your lips to his, kissing him. Your kiss was desperate and your cunt ached with need.

He tilted your neck, exposing the slope and he latched his mouth on your sweet spot. He sucked a mark into your skin and then used his teeth to scrape the wounded area, causing you to hiss.

There was a couch in the study and normally you would find Bryan there, asleep when he’s worked too late. Now instead, he was sitting, with your bottom-half draped over his lap.

Bryan flipped your sundress up, delighted to find you wearing a thong. Your breath hitched as his hands gently caressed your exposed flesh and then pulled the back of your thong up, so it disappeared more between your cheeks. His other hand dipped to your pussy, feeling how hot, wet and needy you were.

“Such a fucking tease. We agreed we weren’t going to do anything else, did we not?”

His fingers dipped slightly into your folds, teasing.

“I’m a tease? Please, you loved it.” You retorted before letting out a moan.

“Watch that mouth.” Bryan growled as he removed his hand from your already soaking cunt, and moved it to your hair where he gave a firm tug. “You’re going to get spanked for that little comment.” Bryan grabbed a handful of flesh and shook it.

His tone took a deeper, darker, authoritarian tone. “Count.”

The first spank was light, almost like a test spank. Still, you couldn’t help yourself. “You call that a spank? C’mon, if you’re going to spank me, make it worth my while.”

A rumble emanated deep and low from Bryan and you tensed, bracing yourself for the subsequent spank. His heavy hand landed on your skin, sharp and hot, the sound nearly reverberating in the otherwise quiet space. You let out a gasp as you jolted slightly off of him.

“That better?” Bryan asked. Your skin was tingling and you found yourself unable to formulate words. Another smack landed, this time on the opposite cheek, sending a shot of arousal through your core. One of his hands soothed a reddened cheek while the other twisted into your hair and tugged harshly. “Well? Answer me.”

Your eyes pricked with tears; the pain mixed with your arousal - it hurt, but in a good way and you wanted more. “Yes.”

“Adding another ten. Keep it up and I’ll add another ten. Right now we are at twenty. Count.”

You took a deep breath as Bryan’s hand came down hard on your ass once more.

“One.” The spank that followed was delivered just as harshly, maybe even more so.

“Two.”

The sting stuck around a few seconds longer and your skin began to feel more and more sensitive. Your pussy throbbed and you knew if Bryan were to touch you, you would fall apart.

As if reading your mind, you felt Bryan’s hands at the sides of your panties. He nimbly removed them, and lowered them down to the widest part of your thighs, the material stretching. The air of the room caressed your folds and Bryan hummed pleasantly. His fingers skimmed your cunt, which was hot and wet. Over and over, Bryan teasingly played with your cunt - stroking inside and out. His fingers were coated in your juices. You were whimpering, mewling under your breath softly, but you were stuck there on his lap. Your breath was heavy, your heart was pounding in tandem with the throb of your pussy.

“Daddy, oh fuck, please.” You begged. A tear dripped down your cheek. “I want to come! Please!”

You tried to squirm, desperate for some kind of friction, but Bryan just held you there.

“Good girls get to come. You’re my dirty little slut. Tell me do you think of me often when you touch yourself?

“Yes.” You whimpered. “All the time.”

The flat of his palm was against your skin, delivering yet another controlled and calculated spank. Over and over again, alternating sides of your cheeks while you counted. By the time the final spank was delivered, the skin of your ass was red and hot. You took another deep breath as Bryan delivered the final spank – that final spank was the hardest spank you’d managed yet. Your whole body tensed for a moment as the pain radiated around you, more tears falling.

Bryan’s cock was painfully hard, aching against you. All in that moment was him inside of you, to quell that ache that he had created. Instead, he stood, shifting you back onto the couch so that you laid flat.

“Don’t move.” His voice was firm and you nodded. Your eyes tracked him as he walked out of the study. Your mind began to drift to where he was going. Was he going to leave you there? Was this some kind of kinky test?

Before your mind could drift any further, Bryan was back. He sat next to you and you heard the sound of a lid being unscrewed. You jumped slightly as you felt something - a cream, an ointment - you weren’t sure - being applied to your skin.

“It’s a salve with comfrey.” Bryan murmured. “You did so well.”

When he was done, your panties were tugged back up and your dress smoothed down. You winced as you sat up. Your face and chest were flushed and Bryan could see the outline of your hard nipples. You were doe-eyed, your mouth slightly parted.

Bryan rubbed his thumb over your bottom lip, in a gentle almost caressing way. You darted your tongue out and nipped the fatty pad of his thumb. Bryan took a deep inhalation and your eyes drifted to his cock, which was still pressing against the front of his pants.

Bryan watched as you undid the straps of your dress, one shoulder at a time, and then shimmying it down, exposing your breasts.

You reached down to the button of his pants but Bryan caught your wrists instead.

“Not now. Later.” Bryan stood and then turned to help you stand. As much as he did want to fuck you, he wanted the satisfaction of denying you. Instead he pulled your straps back up. “You need to rest for what I have in store for later. Now what do you say for earlier? Did you learn your lesson?”

You nodded and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Maybe.”

Bryan leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Such a slut for daddy’s cock.” And with that he pinched your nipple hard, causing you to cry out once more.

***

The following day and the rest of the week that followed, Bryan made no further move other than little kisses and touches here and there. By the time the end of the week rolled around, you felt as if every nerve ending was electrified, like a ticking bomb waiting to detonate. You were so thrilled that the kids were going to their mother’s for the weekend. You would finally be alone with Bryan, with no interruptions.

As you hugged the children goodbye, Constance glared at you as she leaned against her car. The driver of Constance’s car came around and picked up the children’s overnight bags and loaded them into the trunk.

You waved goodbye and as you spun on your heels to go back inside, you heard your name called.

Constance crossed her arms. Her gaze was hidden by her oversized sunglasses. “May I have a word with you?”

Your heart was in your throat and you could feel the bile in your throat rise.

“Sure.” You replied weakly. “Inside, so as to not disturb the children.”

Constance pushed past you and into her former home, whipping her long blonde hair in your face. The sound of her heels echoed throughout. You followed her, feeling as if you were walking in molasses. She spun around, while removing her sunglasses. The tension was thick - easily cut through with a knife.

“The children told me they saw you and Bryan kissing.”

You swallowed hard. You opened your mouth, but she raised a finger at you, shushing you.

“And while the children don’t have an issue with it, I do. And don’t think for a minute that Bryan loves you. I see through you. You’re nothing more than the hired help, someone who can be easily replaced. I have made sure to protect my assets and I will not have some two bit tramp take what is rightfully mine.” And before you could even further digest what she said, Constance delivered a sharp smack across your face.

You cried out, covering your face from any other infliction. To add insult to injury, when Constance slapped you, the stones of her many rings were on the inside of her palm, which cut your face. Your face grew hot, matching the heat that emanated from your bruised cheek.

You watched through tears as Connie stormed off and got into the back of her car. You continued to watch until the car drove off. You went over to the hallway mirror, checking your face. You gingerly touched your cheek, wincing as you did so. And it was only then, you allowed yourself to cry.

***

Hours later, Bryan came home from the office; you were nowhere to be found. He searched his home and then your apartment. Your car was still parked, so he knew you couldn’t have gone far.

When he did find you, he found you sitting at the pool edge, with a pack of peas on your face. Your eyes were puffy, streaks of mascara had dripped down your face and dried.

You couldn’t bear to look at him, fearing you would burst into tears once more. So when he crouched down next to you, you instead chose to look into the pool’s reflection, explaining what had happened.

“Come.” Bryan responded, offering his hand to you. You sighed and stood, taking his hand into yours. Bryan led you to the bathroom, where he cleaned your face and applied the same salve on your cheek as he did on your rear, just days prior.

Bryan offered dinner, but you refused, just wanting to go to bed. Bryan pressed a kiss to your forehead before excusing himself to make a call. As you reached the door to your apartment, you could hear Bryan yelling on the phone. And fresh tears fell once more.

***

You woke up the next morning, your head pounding. You showered and tied your hair into a loose wet braid. You found Bryan in the kitchen, plating food from containers. He gave you a small smile as you padded in.

“You know I can’t cook for shit.” Bryan apologized. “Coffee?”

You shook your head. “In a minute. I just wanted to say about last night --”

Bryan came up to you and placed a finger over your lips. “Nothing. It wasn’t your fault. It was Connie’s.” Even hearing her name made you wince.

To your surprise, Bryan enveloped you in a hug and you nuzzled against his chest, taking in how warm and solid he was. The embrace was comforting and as his fingers trailed your spine, you felt yourself grow warm in other places. Gently, you pulled away from him and looked up at him. Constance’s words reverberated in your head. Instead you decided to lean into it. If you were going to get smacked, then at least make it worth it. “You know, you were going to make good on that promise to me…”

Bryan raised a brow. “Are you sure? Look, last night was a lot --”

You shook your head as you repeated the words from your voicemail. “I’m yours for the taking… daddy.”

Bryan took a deep breath and something in his whole demeanor changed as you called him that. He cupped your face and pulled you in for a searing kiss. His tongue rolled against yours, exploring your mouth. You could taste the lingering coffee on him and he could taste the minty remnants of your mouth. You reached down and rubbed the front of his pants, feeling his cock harden beneath your touch. Bryan took the bottom of your lip and gave it a nip.

***

In all of the places you imagined having sex with Bryan, the middle of his open concept kitchen was not one of them. You were on your back, on the rug that usually was by the sink. Bryan loomed over you. You eyed the large tent in his pants and licked your lips hungrily. Bryan climbed over you, covering your body with his. His hands threaded in your hair as he slanted his mouth over yours. Your legs wrapped around his hips, interlocking at the ankles. As the two of you kissed, he rutted against you. Your hands ran down his sides, using your nails to scrape his sides.

Bryan broke the kiss and sat back on his haunches, before reaching for the hem of his shirt and removing it over his head. You admired his broad chest, with the smattering of greying chest hair that you loved so much. Your eyes followed the trail down to where it disappeared under the waistband of his pants. You leaned up slightly and removed your top before reaching back to unclasp your bra, freeing your aching breasts.

Bryan’s mouth latched onto a nipple immediately, swirling his tongue over the pebbled flesh. You arched slightly into his mouth as his teeth gently scraped over the sensitive and heated flesh. One hand wrapped into his hair, and the other cupped your other breast. You tugged on his hair so he could equally lavish the other breast. He suckled hard on your tit, leaving a purple mark.

“Oh yes, Bryan.” You moaned. You were already so wet and ready for more. You raised your hips, desperate for some friction. Bryan moved further down your body, leaving a trail of wet kisses along the valley of your breasts. His tongue laved on and over your belly button, causing your muscles to quiver. He finally made way down to just above your pelvic region where he made quick work of your pants and underwear, removing them simultaneously. Bryan tossed your clothes carelessly to the floor. You spread your legs, but he spread them further, hooking his arms under your thighs and bringing your sweet cunt to his mouth. He nuzzled your pussy, taking a deep inhalation of your scent. His hot breath on your cunt made you so eager in anticipation as to what was to come. You propped yourself up on your elbows and let out a giggle as Bryan gave you a wink before he dipped his head.

You let out an obscene moan and threw your head back as he flattened his tongue and licked a broad stripe up. The warm, wet muscle of his tongue circled your clit before his lips closed around it, suckling hard. You ground and rocked against his mouth, as he worked you closer and closer to orgasm. The enthusiastic sounds Bryan made as he ate you out only further served to heighten your arousal. Bryan would sporadically pause to lavish bites on your thighs but then would dive in, pushing his tongue inside of you as deep as possible.

“I’m going to come!” You cried out, feeling your orgasm about to crest. Bryan removed his mouth from you and you let out a whine at the denial. “Bryan!”

Bryan responded by sliding two of his thick fingers inside of you, using his thumb to roughly rub your clit. “You’ll come sweetheart. Don’t you worry. But you know what I want and I want you to give it to me.” His fingers crooked in a come hither motion towards your navel and a different kind of pressure began to quickly build. You grasped at the floor, your legs trembling. The pressure burst and your back arched in a bow as you came hard, squirting all over Bryan and the rug.

You barely had a chance to come down as Bryan eased out his fingers briefly and then thrusted three fingers deep inside of you, to the knuckles. “Fuck!”

“Give daddy another one sweetheart. You earned it.” Bryan commanded. His mouth returned to your clit, abusing and torturing it as his fingers began to jackhammer into you. You squeezed your eyes tightly, feeling the pressure build again.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna… oh God!” You wailed as Bryan removed his mouth and rubbed your clit with the flat of his palm rapidly. Warm wetness released from you as you squirted again.

“God I wish you could see how beautiful you are when you come for daddy.” Bryan purred as he licked your pussy juices off your thighs.

Your breath was shallow, your body trembling as Bryan stood to make removal of the rest of his clothes. His monstrously sized cock stood proudly, the meaty veins glistening with arousal. Bryan gave himself a few pumps. You widened your legs and Bryan shook his head. “All fours.”

You did as told, turning over on wobbly legs and positioning yourself on all fours.

You felt him line up with your entrance and you pushed back eagerly. His hands ran over your hips and then ass, grabbing the flesh. Teasingly, Bryan slipped the fat head of his cock inside you and then slipped out. He did it a few times and you let out an annoyed whine and pushed back once more.

Bryan pushed inside of you deeply in one smooth thrust, your cunt gripping him tightly once he was fully seated. Bryan groaned, deep and throaty, relishing in how your pussy took him so well. If he could have seen your face, he would have seen the dreamy smile on your face. Bryan’s cock was perfect and no one fucked you as good as he did. Bryan withdrew and then snapped his hips against the round of your ass, tearing a moan from you. Bryan grabbed the flesh of your hips and began to thrust in and out of you, setting a brutal and fast pace.

“Oh fuck yes daddy, give it to me!” You cried out, dropping your head. Your hair fell over your face, swaying in tandem with his thrusts.

“That’s it, take daddy’s cock.” Bryan growled as he placed a hand on the small of your back and leaned back slightly, watching as his cock, covered in your juices, disappeared in and out of you.

The sounds of obscene moans and deep, throaty groans filled the room as Bryan fucked you mercilessly. The sex was raw, primal and animalistic. Bryan withdrew and pulled you into standing position. You were about to question him, when he propped you on the table. He threw your legs over his shoulders and slid his cock back into you.

“Fuck, yes, oh Jesus fuck, give it to me! That’s it! Harder! Deeper!”

The table creaked and the table moved slightly as Bryan began to pick up the pace, his cock slamming inside of you over and over again. You could feel how his balls slapped against your cunt.

“Yes! Yes! Like that!” You panted. Bryan turned his head to one of your legs and licked the salt off your skin.

“Gonna come for me?” Bryan growled. “Gonna cream on my cock?”

“Yes, yes! Gonna make me come!” You cried out. Bryan dropped over you and a hand wrapped around your neck. Bryan squeezed and the air around you became thin. Bryan continued to fuck into you and you reached down to rub your clit.

Your walls began to tighten and flutter around Bryan’s length. “That’s it, give it to daddy.” He purred. “Let me feel you come and then I’ll fill you up real good.”

Bryan let go of your throat and moved to rub your clit as well, pushing your fingers away. You gasped, your lungs burning as air rushed in.

You came hard, your cunt squirting. You squeezed your eyes so hard that when you opened them, you saw floaters in your vision. Your cunt clamped on his cock again and you wailed again. “Bryan! Bryan! Oh my God!”

Bryan suddenly withdrew and he watched with obscene pride as you squirted again all over the table and floor.

“That’s right, make a mess for daddy.” Bryan growled. He then pushed you back down on the table, lifting your hips ever so slightly. He easily slid his cock inside of you once more and pounded into you erratically, chasing his own release. Bryan let out a deep groan, stiffening as he came, shooting his creamy hot load into you.

Bryan slumped over you and let out a sigh of content. You turned and pressed a kiss along his sweaty bearded cheek.

He withdrew and you let out a whine, already missing the feel of him inside of you. Bryan bent your legs to the knee and pulled your legs apart, his eyes focused on your pussy. “So full.” Bryan replied, again with pride.

You used the opportunity to squeeze some of your muscles, forcing some of his come out of you. Bryan let out a groan watching it drip out of you and onto the floor. He scooped some of his come that dripped out of you and slid his fingers inside of you, effectively fucking the cum back into you. You let out a shiver in response. Bryan slid his fingers out of you and sucked them clean before moving to stand you up.

You wrapped your arms around him, your mind still whirling. You were never going to be able to look at mealtime the same way again. “That was amazing.”

Bryan pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “And we have the whole weekend to ourselves.” He murmured and you hummed contentedly.

“I suppose we should clean this mess.” You stated, feeling yourself blush, despite the fact that you were both standing fully nude in his otherwise, pristine, white kitchen.

Bryan ran his hands through his hair, nodding. He then spoke again. “Don’t worry about Constance. I handled her.”

You looked up at Bryan, a small smile on your face. “Yeah?”

Bryan nodded and walked over to the sink, where he grabbed a rag. “She won’t be bothering you again or else. She’s just bitter and jealous. Her anger is misdirected - she should be upset with me. And even if she was, I don’t give a shit.”

You hummed and began picking up all the fallen clothes. “Thank you.”

Bryan wrapped his arms around you. “Now lets finish cleaning up and then let's take this to the shower.”

FIN.

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[meltwonu]

| caffeine |     [chapter 8]

pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x female!reader

this chapter’s notes; usage of toys in public, overstimulation, oral(female receiving), anal play, forced orgasms 🥴🥴 we r back everyone! 💕💕 thank you to everyone who’s been so patient since we took a one week break from updates!! 💕💕💕💕 let’s get it!! 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - x - x

Wonwoo gets accepted to go on his archaeology trip next semester which doesn’t surprise you at all but does leave you feeling a little sadder than you anticipated.

And he tells you in the midst of eating you out, hands gripping your thighs as he laps at your clit.

“W--wait, Wonwoo--mmh!”

Your fingers tug on his short hair just as he sucks on your clit; a garbled moan spilling out of your lips as your thighs threaten to clamp shut with his head between them. But he feels you tremble, shooting you a look before he pries your legs open further, holding them still as he continues to eat you out on top of the study table.

“Wuh--wait! So, that m-means you’ll be leaving in like t-two months?” He moans against you, flicking at your clit with the tip of his tongue before he licks his lips clean.

“Yeah, maybe a little bit sooner depending on what prepwork needs to be done.”

“Hmm… ‘m gonna miss you kinda. Maybe just your dick but kinda you too.”

Wonwoo chuckles, adjusting his glasses for a second before he brings his index and middle fingers to his mouth to wet them.

He pops the digits out of his mouth when he deems them wet enough, bringing them to your entrance before he slowly sinks them into you, curling them upward until they tap your g-spot.

“I’m gonna miss your pussy too, sweetheart.”

“Hey, can you put this book down on the third shelf to the right?”

Wonwoo hands you a book to reshelf and you wonder how he even managed to convince you to stick around after he went down on you. Most often than not, it was a quick rendezvous and you or he left. But you think maybe part of you is feeling a little sentimental now that you know he’s going to be gone for a while.

“Right here?”

“Mmhmm.”

The cart of books grows smaller and smaller as the two of you continue to put them away, small idle conversation helping to fill up the otherwise quiet space.

“Any big plans before you leave for, like, three months?” Wonwoo ponders for a second, turning to face you.

“Well, the guys wanted to go to some 21+ beer festival-thing next weekend. You should come with. Maybe you can help me handle them all.” He laughs lightly, a genuine smile plastered on his face when he thinks about the others.

“Are you gonna miss ‘em?” This time Wonwoo scoffs, jokingly rolling his eyes before he walks over to the nearly empty book cart.

“Are you kidding? I’m probably going to have some peace and quiet for the first time in my adult life. I'll be more concerned about having to come back after three months.”

The festival day comes up sooner than you expected; having filled up the time with finishing projects and helping Mingyu not fail his.

You wait in front of the gates, a little uneasy since it was all of SVT House and yourself.

What if someone sees me and thinks I’m the SVT House whore or something, fuck. You panic unnecessarily for a second, wondering if there’s a way for you to escape but you hear Mingyu’s voice calling your name, turning to the side to see the entire group. Too late.

“Hey, ‘Gyu.” You meet him in a hug, Minghao coming soon after until Wonwoo steps in front of you. The others coo at the two of you, jokingly calling you the ‘lovebirds’ before they start walking to the ticketing kiosks, leaving you and Wonwoo alone.

“You know how they are.” “Mm, yeah unfortunately.”

You chuckle, walking with Wonwoo to the ticketing kiosks where he pays for your ticket. “Hey, what the fuck? You never buy us anything!!” The blonde one you’d seen in passing screeches. Soonyoung.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, handing you your ticket which you thank him for. “She’s the only girl here, I’m trying to be a gentleman.” You can’t help but blush at his words, walking with the rest of them through the security check. Mingyu sends you a greasy smirk, just as you quickly flip him off.

All of you get through security with no issues, Seungcheol doing a headcount to make sure everyone’s there before he starts leading the way into the festival grounds. There’s a few amusement park rides thrown in the mix of game booths and alcohol stalls as well and you’re semi-glad it’s a 21+ event only; something was telling you things could get messy.

Wonwoo tugs on your elbow not a second after, curiosity plastered on your face when you turn to face him. “Before we… get started, I have a gift for you.” He smirks, pulling out a small box from his pocket before placing it in the palm of your hands.

You barely open it for a split-second before you quickly put the cover back on, cheeks hot as you stare up at the fox-eyed male. “How the fuck did you get this through security!?” You whisper harshly. He chuckles quietly, pulling the remote from his pocket as he spins the keychain loop around his index finger.

“Dunno, guess sex toys don’t make the sensor go off.”

He tells the others that the two of you were going to head to the restrooms really quick, telling Seungcheol to text him their location while he waits for you.

The blush eats you alive when you slip into a restroom stall, hiking up your dress slightly to pull down your normal panties to replace them with the vibrating panties that Wonwoo had somehow gotten through security. You could already feel yourself getting slightly wet; the thrill of him controlling your orgasms in a public place suddenly extremely hot. And the toy sits directly on your clit, a small shiver running up your spine as you adjust it before gathering your things and leaving. Wonwoo meets you outside, eyebrow quirked as he grins. “Let’s give it a try, hmm?”

The vibrations hit you hard and fast, a choked noise all you can muster in the three seconds he turns it on and off. “Oh, seems like it's working well.”

When the two of you meet up with the rest of the guys, they’re at a game booth trying to win some stuffed animal.

You feel mildly on edge now that you knew Wonwoo could turn the toy on at any second, a cold sweat on your skin as you stand in between Minghao and Wonwoo. “That took you awhile. You guys weren’t… doing anything unsavory were you?” You grit your teeth; Wonwoo having turned on the toy on its lowest level just as Minghao finished asking.

“No? We’re literally here to eat and maybe get a little drunk. Cut me some slack, ‘Hao. When have you ever seen me acting out in public?” Minghao nods slowly at Wonwoo’s words, eyeing you before he clears his throat.

“Ok, I mean… Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

Wonwoo shifts the vibration intensity higher, your legs twitching underneath your dress. You can feel your body tensing up, pussy clenching around nothingness as the toy assaults your clit. “Don’t you have anything to say to defend yourself?” Minghao jokes, jabbing you with his elbow.

“W--what? N-no… I mean, I just, I--I needed to use the restroom. There was a line and y-yeah...” You blabber, hands clenched into fists on your sides. Wonwoo eases up, turning the toy off just as your body slumps forward slightly.

“You okay, though? You seem tired.” Minghao’s voice is filled with worry as he places his hand on your shoulder. “Yeah! I’m good, just slept kinda weird last night so I might seem a ‘lil tired today!” He buys it, thankfully, turning his attention back to the others just as Seungcheol wins the stuffed animal.

“For the sweet lady.”

Seungcheol winks, handing you the small stuffed bear just as Wonwoo sets the vibration to the maximum level, forcing an orgasm out of you in a matter of seconds just as you choke out a small ‘thank you’ towards Seungcheol.

You grit your teeth hard, nails digging into the poor stuffed animal you were gifted. “What’cha gonna name it?” You meet the eyes of Seokmin, a cheery smile on his face. Wonwoo turns the toy off again, a soft chuckle fluttering by.

“I don’t know.”

Thankfully you do manage to have fun; momentarily forgetting about the toy. And Wonwoo seems to forget about it for a bit too, enjoying the drinks as you all stop at stalls to grab different beers to try in between all of your conversations.

One of the younger ones, Seungkwan, suggests getting on one of the rides; queueing up in front of the merry-go-round near-by.

“This is supposed to be, like, a wine and cheese festival but we have beer and children’s rides. Who even came up with this?” Vernon asks, genuinely curious.

“Broke college kids who can’t afford wine and cheese but can afford cheap beer and free rides and need escapism.” Everyone nods sadly at Jeonghan’s words, unfortunately very true. 

And much like you expect, the small vibrations come back; Wonwoo having set it on the lowest setting while you all waited in line. “We should go sit and eat for a bit after this. My feet are kinda killing me.” Jun complains, but everyone agrees, deciding to take a little break after the ride to finally eat something.

“Yeah, honestly, I’m full of beer, I need something to eat.” Joshua whines.

Wonwoo turns the vibrations up a level, your thighs rubbing together under your dress as you sneakily shift from one foot to the other. He calls your name loud enough to get the attention of everyone else, their eyes on you as you mentally curse at him.

“What do you feel like eating? We should let you choose.” The others nod, a sly smirk plastered on his features. “Geez hyung, you’re really trying to put on that gentlemanly charm, huh?” Chan teases. You laugh awkwardly, a bead of sweat trickling down your temple as you wipe it away.

Gentleman, my ass.

“I--um, I--I saw a pretzel stall we p-passed by, it se--seems like it’d go well w-with drinks…”

The others agree just as you’re all let onto the merry-go-round, sitting on one of the horses next to Wonwoo. The ride starts soon after; the others laughing and cracking jokes almost immediately as they all sit in front of you. Wonwoo’s eyes glint with mischief when your eyes meet, your hand covering your mouth as you let out a choked cry.

At the angle you’re sitting in, the toy presses harder against your clit and almost like Wonwoo knows that, he sets the toy to the highest level again. And this time, you can’t help but grind against it, thankful that you could mask your movements on the god-forsaken ride. “W-Wonwoo…” You whisper. He barely catches it over the ride’s music, smirking as he only mouths the word ‘cum’ to you.

A shiver runs up your spine when you finally cum this time, toes curling in your sandals as you bite your lip to hold in any noises. You sit up pin straight on your horse, your entire body twitching at your second orgasm. But it doesn’t last long, much like your first one. Wonwoo turns off the toy again, just as the ride starts to come to a stop and you release the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Need some help down, m’lady?” This time it’s Mingyu offering his hand which you shakily take, palm clammy when you place yours in his. “Jesus, are you okay? Why is your palm so sweaty?”

“Yeah, m’fine, I think the beer is getting to me.” He pouts at you, rubbing your back slightly as he ushers your wobbly body off of the ride. “You know what’ll fix that? More beer but also some food, finally.”

You and Mingyu fall into idle conversation; Wonwoo giving you a break that you deserve after forcing two orgasms out of you. And eventually you find the pretzel stall, thankful that there’s empty tables around as you all find a seat.

You sit at a table with Wonwoo by your side, Jihoon and Mingyu sitting on the opposite side.

“We’ll go in pairs or something, so we don’t lose our seats.” You nod at Seungcheol’s suggestion, just thankful you can finally sit and catch your breath. Mingyu and Jihoon get up first, leaving the two of you alone again.

“Having fun, sweetheart?” The tone in Wonwoo’s voice is provoking, your head tilting slightly to look at him and glare. “You’re actually the devil. Gentlemanly, my fucking ass.” You whisper harshly. The stuffed toy in your hands gets squeezed hard again, Wonwoo prying it out from between your iron grip.

“Don’t cuss in front of our child.” He smiles sickly sweet at you, smoothing down the toy’s faux fur before he places it in front of you again.

You’re about to open your mouth to retort but you notice Jihoon coming back, placing food and a cup of beer right in front of you instead. “Hey, uhh, I paid for your food and drink. Hope that’s okay. You seemed tired.” There’s a faint blush on his cheek just as he shyly looks away.

“O-oh. Thank you, Jihoon, that’s really sweet of you…”

“Um, mmhmm, I’m gonna go get my own food, I’ll be back.”

Wonwoo scoffs when Jihoon walks away, plucking the remote from his pocket again. “Isn’t that cute? Everyone’s treating you like a little princess. Doting on you while you cum because of me. So spoiled.”

You blush, choosing to ignore Wonwoo’s words as you focus on eating the food Jihoon had so kindly gotten for you. Eventually the other two come back, leaving Wonwoo to get his own food as he leaves you with them. “Jeez, couldn’t even get me anything, Mingyu?”

“Sorry bro, only one pair of hands!”

The three of you laugh, delving into conversation as the tall male leaves. “Anyway, you guys aren’t dating right?” Mingyu asks. You nod. “We’re not. Why?”

“No reason, just checking in to see if anything’s changed.”

“Since you’re not dating, d’you wanna come to my studio?” You choke on your food, eyes bulging as you stare at Jihoon. “I--what?” He places his food down, taking a sip of his beer before he replies.

“Nothin’ sexual, just could use an outside opinion on some music stuff. We’re all art kids to some degree, y’know? Sometimes I need an outsider’s opinion.”

“But--but what does that have to do with me dating Wonwoo?”

“Nothing really. I just didn’t want to ask just in case he got the wrong idea.” Wonwoo walks back in mid-conversation, setting his things down as he looks at Jihoon. “Wrong idea?”

“I asked her if she’d come to my studio to give me an opinion on music stuff. Nothing major.” Wonwoo glances at you before he takes a sip of his own beer. “Jihoon’s really good at producing. You’d be lucky to hear what he works on. ”

“I’d love to come by whenever!” You smile at Jihoon, hurriedly finishing your food. The other three take their time, discussing various topics just as you see Wonwoo slip his hand towards his pants pocket again. Oh no.

This time he wastes no time, already setting the toy to the middle setting as you try your best to not lurch forward over the table top. Your body is already extremely sensitive from your past orgasms and you find it hard to keep in the noises you so badly want to let out.

“We should go to a few more game booths and then maybe hit up the rides before we leave.” Mingyu says with a mouthful of food. “Mm, yeah, they set up a cool arcade area on the north end of the grounds, we should head over there when the sun goes down.” Wonwoo adds.

You find it incredible that he can sound so normal in this situation and you almost feel jealous. Fucker.

The three continue to chat about the day’s plans just as your orgasm begins to crest quickly, Jihoon’s eyes landing on you when he asks for your opinion. You almost feel bad that you’re cumming while staring Jihoon straight in the eyes but you figure it wasn’t the first time today that had happened anyway.

The wetness between your legs feels horrible when you come down from your high; panties sticking to you like a second skin as you rub your thighs together.

“Yeah, sounds g-good!”

Wonwoo lets up, letting you enjoy the rest of your day in peace for the most part.

The sun eventually goes down and all of you head towards the arcade tent; everyone splitting up to go do their own thing for the time being. You stick with Wonwoo however, walking around quietly and looking at all the arcade cabinets with him.

“Tired yet?”

“Why? Think I can’t keep up with you?” You quip, a little on edge. In truth, you were a little tired. But you also wanted Wonwoo to fuck you already and you weren’t even sure if he’d give in.

“Oh, no, sweetheart. I know you can keep up with me. Just wondering if you were wanting one more orgasm before the night was over.”

Oh.

“Yes.”

You reply before you can even really think, body suddenly on fire at the thought of his hands finally on you. And just like you expect, Wonwoo turns the toy back on, setting it to its lowest level. “Let’s play a game.” He offers, walking you towards one of the zombie shooter games.

“If you win, I’ll fuck you however you want me. If I win, I’ll fuck you however I want you. Deal?” You nod feverishly, not caring about the outcome. If it resulted in him fucking you, there was no real losing. “Okay, sure. Let’s do it.” Wonwoo leaves the toy on as he puts the quarters in the machine, already flying through the intro screen. “I hope you’re ready to lose, sweetheart.”

And lose you do, but you feign disappointment for his sake, setting the fake gun back into its place just as Wonwoo raises the vibration level of the toy. “F--Fuck!” And this time, your voice is drowned out in the crowd of people and arcade noises, small cries and moans spilling from your lips as you lean up against the arcade cabinet. “Pl--please, Wonwoo I can’t w-wait any longer, I don’t care i--if you fuck me here, please!”

Wonwoo laughs, his hand wrapping around your wrist as he drags you out of the arcade tent. “We’ll save that for another time.” He leads you towards the restrooms, although in a much emptier part of the grounds.

“Wait, what if someone… sees us?” He scoffs just as he begins to walk into the restrooms, pulling you in behind him. “Please, this is a 21+ event with booze, I’m sure someone’s fucked in here before we have.” Wonwoo pushes you into one of the stalls, locking it behind him as he fishes for the toy’s remote.

“Let’s get you a little wetter, baby.”

“No~ I’m already so wet, please Wonwoo…” You face one of the restroom walls, pressing your ass against his crotch. His cock is already from what you can feel as you start to grind against him. “Fuck, please, you’re already hard, please just fuck me!” You cry, dropping all of your things to the grimy restroom floor before placing your hands on the wall in front of you.

“I won the game but here you are begging me to do what you want. So so spoiled.” He turns off the toy, placing the remote in his back pocket before he grips the hem of your dress, flipping it up to expose your ass to him.

He helps you slide down your soaked panties, pocketing the material as well before starts undoing his jeans and underwear. “Don’t you want me to eat you out? Get you nice and prepped for my cock?”

“No, fuck, I just want you to fuck me, please! I’m so w-wet I--you could just… slide right in…” The thought alone has you drooling; squirming when you feel the head of his cock sliding through your wet folds.

“What if I wanted to fuck your ‘lil ass, hmm?” You can feel your pussy throb at the prospect. “I--Wonwoo… fuck, I’d let you!” You moan out.

Wonwoo smirks behind you, positioning his cock at your entrance before he slowly eases himself in. “We’ll also save that for another time… But I’ll give you a little taste in a bit.” You groan in response, thanking the heavens when you feel his thick cock inside your pussy. And it takes everything you have to not cum as soon as he bottoms out, cock already prodding at your cervix.

“Ngh, fuck…”

The sound of skin slapping and moans bounce off the restroom walls and you don’t even care if anyone can hear or see what’s going on. But Wonwoo takes his time; slow but hard thrusts that have you whining and clenching hard around him as your body jerks in his hold.

“You were so good for me today. Cumming and not even letting any of them know.” A warm feeling floods your senses at his praise. “And here you are, still taking my cock after you’ve already cum so many times. So good for me, sweetheart.” 

You let out a sharp breath when you feel his thumb circling your puckered hole. 

“Wonwoo... p-please...” You meet his thrusts, fucking yourself on his cock as he lets a glob of spit land on your hole, his thumb using it as lubrication before he slowly eases in the digit. 

“Oh g-god, I--fuck, please, please, please!” You mumble, feeling even more full than you ever were. 

“Hah, you’re so cute. Next time we’ll have to use some new toys, hmm? Get all you nice and filled up.” 

“Fuck, yes!” 

Wonwoo fucks you faster, keeping his thumb in your ass as he chases his orgasm. Your body jolts in his hold, already feeling your own orgasm starting to build as well. “Won--Wonwoo ‘m close already...” You mumble, sensitive body already beginning to slump against the dirty wall.

“Cum with me then, sweetheart.” 

You nod shakily, pussy getting tighter around his cock as you feel yourself tipping over the edge. And Wonwoo follows suit, groaning when he cums inside of your pussy, fucking his cum deeper into you as your walls flutter around his cock when you cum with him. 

“Fuck, Wonwoo!” 

You feel yourself drooling as you cum, eyes clenched shut as the pleasure washes over you. Your orgasm seems to last longer than your previous ones despite how exhausted you feel afterwards, but you’re sure it’s because of Wonwoo and not because of some toy. 

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

“H--Huh?” You head feels muddled as you turn your head to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of him. 

“I’ve been asking you if you were ok for the past minute. You zoned out.” 

“Oh... m’okay... tired...” You whisper out, oversensitivity setting in when he slides his cock from your swollen pussy. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up and then I’ll get you some water, okay?” 

You can barely stand up straight when you try to exit the restroom stall,  Wonwoo offering to piggy-back you back to the arcade tent where everyone else is waiting. 

He keeps the vibrating panties but lets you put you regular panties back on. 

“I was smart to put ‘em in my bag...” You tell him sleepily, nuzzling into his neck as he carries you. 

“You’re lucky you did or else I’d have to put the other one back on.” He grins, re-adjusting you on his back as he sees the others standing in front of the arcade tent. 

“Okay, see, now I know you two were up to no good.” Minghao tuts, arms crossed as he looks over your tired form. “God, and here we thought you were one of the good ones, hyung.” Chan adds, dramatically shaking his head as they start walking towards the amusement park rides. 

“You might’ve gotten whatever sick thrills you wanted but we still wanna go on the rides so you’re gonna have to come with us now!” Soonyoung screams before running ahead, Wonwoo turning with you still on his back. 

“You gonna be okay? Or do you wanna ditch them?” You tighten your grip around his neck, sleepy eyes watching as the others chase Soonyoung. 

“I’ll be okay, let’s catch up with them before they lose Soonyoung.” 

[kayluh1915]

Beautiful People

Paring(s): Pedro Pascal/Female Reader

Words: 5,378

Warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Disorder, Medication Discussions, Insecurities, and Panic Attacks.

You and Pedro have been secretly dating for a few months now after a chance meeting. You both agreed that it was time to reveal your relationship to the public and chose to do so by accompanying him at The Oscars, but your anxiety does a great job of making you think that you don't deserve it.

DISCLAIMER!

This story is based on the song Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran & Khalid, but this IS NOT a songfic. It just gave me this vibe of Pedro walking down the red carpet with someone who doesn't quite feel like they belong and he comforts her by saying he doesn't really belong either and proceeds to list why they're better off because of it. I dunno, It just sounded sweet.

As always, comments are welcomed and encouraged.

You can also follow me on Twitter if you'd like. My life is boring, but I might be able to make you laugh if I’m lucky.

Enjoy!

(PS: Pepe is a real person. He was my Spanish teacher my first semester of college... and yes, he really went to Cincinnati every Friday to gamble)

Read on AO3

My Masterlist

The frigid February air was like icicles on your skin, sending a full-blown shiver down your spine as you hurried out of the Science building and towards the dining hall. It was nearly noon and you’ve had only had a banana and a bottle of water this morning, so lunch sounded pretty great right about now… maybe a cup of hot cocoa as well.

The dining hall was about a three-minute walk from the Science building, more than enough time for the cold to seep through the layers of your coat and deep into your bones. The possibility of a cup of cocoa turned into an inevitability, you running for the hot beverage machine as soon as your student ID was swiped.

You sat at your usual spot, hanging your backpack on the back of the chair before taking a greedy sip of the hot drink. The warmth was a godsend, the sugary beverage warming your icy hands with a pleasant hum tumbling from your lips.

“You make noises like that in bed?” Someone asked, snapping you out of your warming daze. It was your roommate and closest friend, Lauren. You snorted at her remark, almost spitting out a sip of your drink.

“I thought you had Spanish class at noon?”

“Nah. It’s Friday, remember?”

“Oh yeah, gambling day.” Like you, Lauren was a music student. It was how you had met nearly four years ago. Like most music students, you both used the extra humanities credits you had earned in high school to bail you out of the required foreign language credit until university. You were doing fairly well so far, but it was because you had a decent teacher. She wasn’t the best, but she was alright.

Lauren’s was just… something else.

On the first day of class, he told his students to call him “Pepe” because he didn’t do the “formal shit.” He also said that there would never be a class on Friday’s because he goes up to Cincinnati to gamble with his buddies. Why he didn’t just put down that his classes were only on Monday and Wednesday were beyond you.

“Yeah. Whatever, though right?” Lauren continued. “I’m not complaining about one less day of class.” You smirked mischievously.

“No, but your Spanish is…” Lauren scoffed, only causing you to laugh harder into your cup.

“Bitch, you shut the fuck up. You can’t speak the damn language either.” You shrugged.

“You’re not wrong, but at least I’m learning more than you are with Pepe.” Lauren groaned.

“Fuck you. Come on, let’s grab some grub.” You stood up and grabbed your backpack, throwing away your empty drink cup to grab something to eat. You settled on your usual favorite and sat back down with Lauren who had somehow already made it halfway through her plate.

“God, slow down.” You teased as you hung your backpack back on the chair.

“I didn’t eat breakfast this morning. Cut a bitch a break.” You shook your head, digging into your own plate, but at a much slower pace. You both sat in comfortable silence, enjoying your meals as the indecent chatter of the surrounding students and meme music playing from the jukebox continued on.

“So,” Lauren said, breaking the silence as she sat down her drink. “What are you doing this weekend?” You froze at her question but played it off the best you could. Any hint of hesitation would send her into a frenzy of questions that you weren’t prepared to answer.

“I’m going in to see Mom. Maybe stop by my Mamaw’s too.” Lauren’s shoulders slumped.

“Damn, that’s too bad. Devon invited us over to his Oscar watch party tomorrow night. Figured you might want to come along since you’re into that sort of thing.” 

You swallowed hard at the mention of The Oscars. Just play it cool… don’t. fucking. panic.

“Normally I would, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen Mom. You know how she gets when I don’t come to visit for a while.” Lauren nodded her head in understanding, knowing full well of how your Mom was after living with you for two years.

Little did she know that you had just seen your mother last weekend.

“I understand, boo. I’ll let him know you can’t make it. When are you leaving?”

“As soon as I’m done here. I packed my stuff this morning so I could just go. Trying to beat the traffic as much as possible.” She nodded in understanding.

“Well, I hope you have a good time with your Mom. Say hi to her for me, will you?” You internally sighed a breath in relief. How your big mouth managed to keep him a secret all this time let alone this was beyond you, but you managed to pull it off somehow.

“Yeah, sure.”

After you finished eating, you hugged Lauren goodbye and went back to your dorm long enough to drop off the books you didn’t need and pick up your suitcase. You went through your mental checklist one last time and locked your door behind you as you left.

You unlocked your car and threw your stuff into the backseat, making your way towards the interstate as soon as you left the college.

Home was about a two or three-hour drive down south, but where you were really going was about a 40-minute drive north. You put on some music as you cruise down the interstate, your nervousness slowly increasing the closer you got to your destination.

Your hands shook on the steering wheel, you bounced your left knee furiously, and you were biting your lip… pretty hard. You thought about reaching into your purse for the “take as needed” anxiety medication your psychiatrist prescribed you but decided to hold off on it a little longer. Maybe it’d taper off when you got to the airport.

It didn’t.

You had flown before, but that had been years ago when your micro home town had some kind of festival thing and gave free airplane rides. This commercial airline stuff was something entirely new to you which was already nerve wreaking, but the unexpected bustle of such a smaller airport made it worse.

Weeks before when you first booked the flight to Los Angles, you did as much research as possible to make sure that you knew the “norms” and guidelines of all the airports you were going to since there were no direct flights available. You were as prepared as anyone could be, but you were still extremely nervous and all the foot traffic only made it worse.

You went through security without any qualms and took a seat to wait for your flight to begin boarding. You pulled out your phone and texted your Mom and Lauren before someone walked up to you in your peripheral.

“Excuse, miss?” You looked up from your phone to come face to face with an older gentleman. He looked to be in his early 50’s with salt and peppered hair and a kind smile. He asked you your name and you confirmed with a nod.

“Sorry to disturb you, but your private flight is prepared to depart whenever you’re ready, Miss.”

...Excuse you, what?

“P-Private flight? But I-... I paid for an American Airlines flight.” The man nodded.

“Yes, but Mr. Pascal has sent a private jet to retrieve you. He was fairly insistent to make sure that you boarded.” You sighed heavily. You told him that a two-stop economy flight that you paid for was more than fine, but the thought of you doing anything like a normal person seemed to bother him for some reason.

“Okay. I-I guess I’m ready to go then.” The man smiled.

“Of course, Miss. May I take your bags for you?” You hesitated.

You had never been waited on like this before and you weren’t quite sure how to feel or respond to it. You were perfectly capable of carrying your own stuff and this guy probably wasn’t getting paid enough to carry some lucky college student’s stuff, but was it rude to say no even if you did so in a polite manner? So, you just agreed and handed him over your suitcase and backpack.

You followed him outside and over to a small commercial jet, a woman who looked to be around her mid 30’s standing right by the entrance of the aircraft.

“Welcome aboard, Miss. I’m Kendall Bishop and I’m your captain for today. If you’ll go ahead and take a seat and buckle your seat belt, we’ll depart shortly. I do ask, however, that you remain seated and keep your seat belt fastened until Mr. Clements informs you that it is safe to move about the cabin. Do you have any questions for me before we begin our descent?”

You smiled politely at her and shook your head.

Upon entering the cabin, you were at a complete loss for words. It was easily the fanciest thing you’d ever seen. Leather seats, stocked alcohol shelves, an endless assortment of snacks, a TV, even a fucking bed of all things. The man, Mr. Clements you assumed, gestured towards the seat closest to you. You sat down and buckled your seat belt like you were told to do.

Mr. Clements then reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope, gesturing for you to take it.

“Mr. Pascal requested I hand this to you as soon as you board.” You took the envelope out of his hands, looking down at it with a curious gaze. On the back of it had your name scribbled onto it in familiar handwriting. You’d know it anywhere after reading so many letters from him.

“Please enjoy your flight and let us know if there’s anything we can do for you.” You thanked him with another nod, turning the envelope around and tearing it open. The plane prepared to take off as you read.

Mi Abeja,

I know you wanted and paid for a normal flight, but the academy offered to fly you to me privately last second. I was going to ask you if you were okay with it, but you were in class and your phone was off and I had to let them know something before my table read this morning. You work and study so hard and deserve to be pampered so I told them yes. They reimbursed what you paid for your ticket and I’ll give that to you once you get here.

I hope the unexpected change didn’t spike your anxiety too much. I know you’re nervous about this whole thing to begin with and I probably just made it worse. I’m sorry if I did.

 I’ll be there to pick you up as soon as you land at LAX.

Love you,

Pedro. <3 <3 

Your heart soared at his words, leaning back in your seat and looking out of the nearby window just in time to watch the plane lift up from the runway.

________________________

Four hours later, Mr. Clements informed you that you would be landing shortly. Your heart leaped up in your chest as you put your phone back into your backpack and fastened your seat belt.

It had been a few weeks since you’d last seen him and you were nearly vibrating with excitement by the time the wheels touched down on the runway. Mr. Clements offered to take your things again. You still weren’t sure if it was rude to turn him down or not and you didn’t want to ask and risk looking like a moron, so you agreed and handed over your backpack.

The captain opened up the door and exchanged pleasantries with you as you stepped off the plane, but you barely heard her over the pounding of your own heart. As soon as you looked up from the ramp, you saw him. He was there just like he promised he’d be, standing by his car and wearing his favorite pair of sunglasses all while smiling at you with that blinding smile.

Your sneakers barely touched the tarmac before you were sprinting for him. He held out his arms for you and made a small sound when you collided with him, wrapping your arms around his neck and laying your head on his chest. One of his hands caressed the back of your head, holding you to him tightly as the other one held on to your waist.

“I’ve missed you so much, Abeja.” He muttered against the crown of your head. You let go of him long enough to reach up and kiss him, tangling your hand into his dark curls. “Did you have a good flight?” He asked after you pulled away.

“I did. I was a little nervous at first, but I’m okay now.” Pedro gave you a saddened look.

“I’m sorry. I know it was unexpected and didn’t mean to hike you up, I just figured yo-” You put your hand over his mouth.

“It wasn’t your fault, Pedro. I’m just… not used to this… any of it.” He placed a gentle kiss to your fingers, taking your wrist into his hand and gently taking it off of his mouth.

“Please tell me you at least ate something.“ You nodded.

“I ate with Lauren before I left for the airport. She actually invited me to an Oscar watch party this guy named Devon is hosting. I played it cool just like we practiced, but it took everything in me not to freak out.” Pedro giggled, pressing a kiss to your nose.

“Isn’t she in for a surprise?” You barely smiled, nodding gently. You’ve been trying not to think about it, but the idea of you being on display to the entire world made your stomach churn and your knees weak. You were just a first-generation college student from the middle of nowhere, yet here you are in the arms of Pedro Pascal about to walk down the runway of the most prestigious award show in less than 24 hours.

“... Yeah.” You eventually answered. Pedro noticed the change in your demeanor and frowned, placing a kiss on the wrist he was still holding and caressing it gently with his thumb.

“We don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to, you know? We can always go with plan B.” You shook your head vigorously.

“No, no, no! I-I want people to know… I just… all so new.” Pedro smiled at you sympathetically, brushing a stray piece of hair away from your face.

“Just promise you’ll let me know if it ever becomes too much for you. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.” You look up into his mocha gaze, the butterflies in your stomach making you forget about your self-doubt if only for a few seconds.

“I promise.”

________________________

That evening you were curled up with Pedro in the hotel bed, empty take-out containers discarded onto the nearby nightstand as you watched The Shining together. He was fully engrossed in the movie, his fingers idly playing with your hair. You had tried to focus on the movie. You really did, but you’ve seen the damn thing a million times. Laughing at memes on Reddit sounded more appealing so that’s what you were doing.

“You know, I really miss you when you’re not with me.” Pedro said after a while. You looked up from your phone and up at his face.

“I miss you too. Music school sucks and I can’t cuddle Lauren… well, I can but it would be awkward.” Pedro laughed, caressing your cheek with his knuckle.

“Tomorrow, our stylists will be here around noon. I know you’re going to be nervous all day and will probably avoid eating, so I’m going to make sure you get up with me and eat a proper breakfast.” You groaned quietly.

“You won’t let me sleep in? Even on a Saturday?” You fake-pouted. Pedro tapped your nose gently with his finger.

“Not when tomorrow is such an important day. I don’t want you nervous on an empty stomach.” You both went back to what you were doing for a minute.

“You did bring your medication, didn’t you?” You hesitated before nodding.

“Yes.”

“Good. You’ll have something in case it gets too intense. Getting you to take it will be another story, though.” You didn’t say anything, favoring instead to raise up from your reclined position to swing your leg over his waist to straddle him. His hands instantly went to your hips, gently caressing them with his large hands.

“You’re so beautiful, Abeja.” He said after a while of looking you over and running his hands over your body. You smiled at him and leaned down to give him a kiss. It was pretty standard as far as kisses go, but when you pulled away you were both looking at one another with a fiery intent and slowly went back in for another. This one searing and far more passionate.

Pedro groaned deep in his throat as your tongues collide, the kiss deepening far beyond your original intent.

You weren’t complaining.

________________________

Pedro’s alarm going off scared the living hell out of you. You had been awake since 4 am, trying your best to go back to sleep, but it just never happened. When you finally gave up around 6:30, you grabbed your backpack and sat at the desk the hotel provided and did your weekend homework. You hadn’t realized that you were that engrossed in it until his alarm buzzed you out of it.

He groaned quietly and reached over to silence it, rolling back over and reaching out to the other side of the bed looking for you. When he noticed that you were gone, he raised up from the sheets and looked around the room. His hair was an absolute nightmare, sticking up in various directions as he stretched out his back and yawned loudly.

“Thought you wanted to sleep in.” He teased after he found you at the desk.

“You said you were going to wake me up early. Figured I might get some work done.” Concern then donned on his brow.

“Honey, how long have you been up?”

“Not long,” you lie. “I wanted to get some work done so I just got up at my usual time.” Pedro got out of bed and padded over to you, rubbing your shoulders and placing a kiss atop your head.

“You work too hard. You should take a break while you can.” You lolled your head back, Pedro’s hands rubbing your shoulders feeling absolutely amazing.

“I’ll do whatever you say as long as you keep doing that.” He laughed, kissing your cheek and heading to the bathroom.

________________________

You didn’t want to question the professional, you really didn’t. But after the third layer of concealer, you just had to.

“That’s a lot of concealer.” The makeup artist laughed.

“I know, I’m sorry. Use some cream for those bags next time and I promise you won’t need as much.”

You didn’t speak after that, allowing the hair and makeup artist to finish you up while they gossiped back and forth with each other. They made other side comments like that to you here and there. They weren’t necessarily rude so you couldn’t really say anything, but they did little for your already rock-bottom self-esteem.

The artist put a dark shade of lipstick on your lips, making a triumphant noise when she finished.

“Didn’t have the best canvas, but you look fabulous sweetheart! Smile with your mouth closed and you’ll be a knockout!” The makeup artist and hairstylist gathered up their things, leaving you sitting there in your robe staring at the floor and hoping they leave fast.

When they finally left, you got up from the bed and walked over to the full-bodied mirror. You showed your teeth and started looking over them. You never thought they looked too bad. Sure, they were crooked and had some spacing, but they were okay. Braces were expensive and playing a brass instrument with braces is a death sentence for lips.

What if you were wrong about them looking okay all this time? Maybe you should have taken out that loan and a semester off to fix your teeth…

Your stylist came in shortly after. He was quieter than the others had been and much nicer which you were thankful for as you changed into the white dress they had picked for you. When you came out, the stylist smiled and hooped.

“You look gorgeous!” You finished off your look with matching jewelry and a clutch purse, sitting down on the bed to put on your heels.

“It took me forever to find a pair of acceptable wedges for you, sweetheart. I don’t know why you didn’t just tough it out for one night, but hey. I get it. Country girls don’t like heels and that’s okay! It worked out.”

Again, not necessarily rude… but damn.

________________________

You were waiting in the lobby for Pedro to come out, bouncing your leg nervously and trying to remember not to touch your eyes or bite your lip because of the makeup. When you saw him step off the elevator, your breath caught in your throat. His hair was slicked back and his facial hair neatly trimmed, the black velvet suit hugging his broad shoulders perfectly.

“Wow…” He muttered, looking you up and down. “You look absolutely stunning, Abeja.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” You replied, playing with his bow tie.

“Hey, hey, no. Don’t touch it. I don’t know how to tie it back if it comes loose.” You laughed and shook your head.

“Fine… I’ll unwrap my present later.” Pedro’s own breath caught as you winked up at him. He cleared his throat and composed himself, offering you his arm.

“Ready?” You swallowed and nodded, taking his arm for him to escort you.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

________________________

You were in line for the red carpet, the flashing cameras of the paparazzi already blinding and you were still pretty far back. Your stomach churned, a wave of nausea rising up but nothing happening. Pedro took your shaking hand into his and squeezed it gently.

“You okay?” He asked, noticing how tense you were and only grew worse the closer you got.

“... fine.”

“Plan B’s still an option if you need it, Abeja. You have your medicine you can take too.” You shook your head, looking back at him to flash him a smile.

“I’m good.” You could tell that he didn’t buy your bullshit. Not even for a moment. He didn’t say anything, though, opting only to lift your hand and press a kiss to the back of it.

“I’ll be right there beside you the entire time, honey. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or need to leave, you let me know.” You nodded at him, accepting a kiss from him before looking back out the window of the limo.

Your turn came up way sooner than you would have liked, the greeter opening up the limo door as soon as the car stopped and allowing Pedro to step out into the public eye. The photographers went nuts, the flashing lights and screams from fans intimidating you more than you thought they would.

What the fuck were you thinking? You’re just some tired ass music student. You don’t belong here with all these people.

You almost chickened out and stayed in the car but when Pedro turned towards you and offered his hand you took it anyway even though your mind was screaming for you not to. Just the gentle touch of his calloused hand on yours grounded you enough to carefully step out of the limo, making sure that nothing happens to your dress.

You could hear the sounds of the crowd die down for a moment as they all started muttering to themselves. Your hand was shaking in Pedro’s larger one, the photographers gasping as soon as they saw your face. They started taking pictures faster than they ever had. The bombardment of flashing lights blinded you for a moment, but you adjusted to them quickly.

Pedro let go of your hand and put it on your back, gently leading you where you’re supposed to go.

“Okay?” He asked as he wrapped his arm around you and brought you close. You nodded. You weren’t comfortable in the slightest, but it wasn’t the worst thing ever. While both of you posed for pictures, people from the group of photographers said a lot of things to both of you. Some were kind, others were funny and got a good laugh out of you. There were also a few who were very rude, but they had been pushed aside by the others.

Overall, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you were expecting… but you were glad it was over.

________________________

You were standing aside checking your phone while Pedro did an interview with some of the press. He had offered you to be with him, but the red carpet had been more than enough fame for you. Your phone was on “do not disturb” mode, but you could still see all the notifications coming in. Your Mom, Dad, Lauren, and other friends bombarding you with messages basically asking what the fuck. You didn’t have the time to reply, so you didn’t open any of them.

Once Pedro was done with his interviews, he escorted you into the main hall where he introduced you to some of his friends and colleagues along the way. You considered it an honor to meet the people most only ever dreamed of, but you knew you didn’t deserve it. Someone else should be here, not you.

When you found your seats, Pedro offered you his hand. You took it and allowed him to seat you before he took his next to you and wrapped his arm around the back of the seat. The show started shortly after.

________________________

“And the Oscar goes to…” You held onto Pedro’s hand tightly as they opened up the envelope, your shaking hands encased in his. He had told you when he had been nominated that he didn’t expect to win it, but you could tell he had some hope as he tensely watched them read the card.

“Pedro Pascal.” You jumped up with Pedro, hugging him tightly as the audience broke out in cheers.

“You deserve it!” You told him, breaking away to give him a quick kiss. You watched him run up stage and accept the golden statue, walking up to the microphone with a few chuckles as he looked over the award.

“Wow, this is uhhh… this is incredible. Truly amazing.” He started. “I’d like to thank the Academy for this honor, my Mom and Dad who worked hard to raise me right and who supported me. My brother and two sisters for being there for me, mi Abeja for loving me unconditionally, and just… so many others. There are so many people in my life who have helped me get to this milestone and if I were to thank all of you, we’d be here all night. I love you all so very much and this truly… a dream come true. Thank you.

The crowd stands up and cheers loudly. You wanted to, but you were too busy trying to make sure your makeup doesn’t run down your face with a tissue from your clutch. Eventually, you give up trying and decide to go to the bathroom just to make sure everything still looks fine.

Your makeup looked just as flawless as it had before. You wish you would have known that the artist had used waterproof makeup so you could’ve properly celebrated Pedro’s achievement, but oh well. While you were there, you decided to use the bathroom. You didn’t have to go that bad, but might as well take care of it while you’re here.

While you were relieving yourself, you heard two other women come in.

“-ld for her. He needs to settle down with someone like us and around his age. Not some college student.” You froze solid when they realized that they were talking about you.

“I know. She isn’t even that pretty. Did you see her teeth? Do they not have braces where she comes from?”

“For real. Her body’s not that great either. Looks like she comes straight from the shack or something.”

“Wonder if that’s where he found her?” They both giggle.

“Either way, she doesn’t belong here.” You knew they were right, but you just couldn’t bare to listen anymore, pulling your underwear back up and fixing your dress after you flush the toilet.

You then run out of the bathroom, not even looking to see who the women were. It didn’t matter, though. They were right. You should have never came here and you couldn’t stay any longer.

You walked back to your seat and gently tugged on Pedro’s sleeve.

“C-Can we go… Please?” You ask, your voice shaking just as much as your hands. Pedro got up instantly when he saw the look on your face, grabbing his trophy, coat and your clutch. He didn’t ask questions as he placed his hand to the small of your back and began to escort you out of the theater.

By the time you got back into the limo you felt like you couldn’t breathe. The voices around you sounding like water as your vision became black around the edges. Oh God, is this what feels lie to die? You couldn’t die. Not now! You had so much to do, so much t-

Something extremely cold suddenly touched your face, the blackness around your vision fading slightly as you looked up to whoever had put something so damn cold on you.

You were instantly met with the warm eyes of your boyfriend, concern laced on his brow as he gently dabbed a cold washcloth over your face. You could see his mouth moving, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying over the pounding of your heart, but it eventually calmed down enough to where you could begin to hear him.

“There we go, bee… that’s it sweetheart. Nice and easy.” Your breathing slowly calmed down, Pedro cradling you in his arms as your panic attack faded.

“I should have never come here…” You muttered. “I don’t belong here. All these fancy dresses, the flashing cameras, nice cars… I don’t deserve any of this.” Pedro placed a kiss to your forehead.

“Don’t say things like that, Abeja. You deserve this just as much as anyone. And as far as not belonging, trust me when I say I don’t either. And, frankly, I’m fine with that. All of these designer clothes, the mindless gossip, the broken homes, being surrounded by so many but still alone? That’s not really a life worth living. The world of Beautiful People is a lonely life, one that I would rather not live.”

You wasn’t sure what to say, so you just didn’t say anything, curling up as close as you could to him.

He made you take a dose of your anxiety medication when you got back to the hotel, taking it with a swig of water before laying down and curling up close to him. You laid your head on his shoulder, the sounds of his breathing and the gentle feeling of his hand caressing your own shoulder lulling you.

Right before you doze off, you heard him say:

“No matter what any of them has said, you’re perfect the way you are and deserve everything.”

________________________

You wake up the next morning still wrapped up in his arms. You lay there for a while just talking and enjoying one another’s company before he finally got up to use the bathroom.

You reach for your phone on the nightstand, turning off “do not disturb” mode for the first time since yesterday afternoon.

Your phone was overloaded. Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, everywhere was flooded. You didn’t even know where to begin.

Eventually, you just give up trying to put a dent into anything and returned Lauren’s list of missed calls. She answered on the second ring.

“You tell me every little detail, you sneaky bitch. And I mean everything!”

[emeraldeyes23]

Fictober Fantober2020 -

Day 16 - Pumpkin Patch🎃

"A trip to Hokkaido?"

Ash looked at Eiji in surprise. "Why do you want to go there? And why now?"

"Because Hokkaido is famous for its beautiful landscape and its fall leaves in the most beautiful colors. There's even a National Park with a lake that changes into five different colors. I could take some great photos there for my photo projects."Eiji patiently explained to him.

"And the best time to see the beautiful leaves in fall in mid-to-late October. There's also a beautiful mountain similar to Mt. Fuji. You can see it from the lake, but only if the sky and the air are crystal clear, especially in the mornings.", Eiji added, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"That sounds beautiful.", Ash replied. "But what are you hiding from me?"

"Nothing. It's just... we have to fly there. It's 800 km away from here." When Ash's eye widened in surprise, and he looked utterly shocked, Eiji continued quickly.

"But it's still summer break, and we should enjoy it. It's the last weekend before college starts again. Besides, I promised you to show you my country."

"It's that far away? Japan always looks so small on a map. Compared to the US, I mean."

"It is, but we have many little islands. Hokkaido is the northernmost of Japan's main islands. It's also known for its volcanoes, natural hot springs and ski areas. The flight takes 3 hours to New Chitose Airport."

"Fine, let's go then.", Ash said.

"Really, you mean it?", Eiji beamed at him. "I thought it would be harder to convince you.", he admitted honestly.

"Well, you're right. It's the last weekend before our summer break is over. Besides, I can't say no to you if you're so enthusiastic and excited about something. And I'd really like to see more of Japan."

_____________________________

When they arrived in Hokkaido, the weather was great, so they enjoyed the sun and made a little walk through Akan National Park, where he took a lot of photos, and Ash admired the park's surroundings. The National Park offered leaves in all shapes and colors, which looked beautiful. Still, fall arrived here the earliest, so he was relieved that Ash had listened to him and had taken a warm coat with him. The wind was colder here, and the sun didn't spend as much warmth anymore.

The next day, Eiji dragged Ash out of bed early and had breakfast with a grumpy cat. However, it was worth it since the best view of the mountain was when the morning air was crystal clear. Later, clouds would cover most of the mountain, and it would be impossible to take some fantastic shots with his new camera.

Eiji took some photos of the mountain in perfect weather while Ash was more or less sleepwalking but slowly started looking around with interest. He stared at the Mt. Fuji look-alike and the lake in front of him.

"So, what do you think? Wasn't it a great idea to come here? I think it's the perfect end of our summer break." Eiji pinched his cheek when he didn't answer.

"Ouch! What was that for?", Ash complained, rubbing his cheek.

"To check if you're still alive and capable of understanding human speech.", Eiji grinned in amusement at him. "Wake up, ok? The area is too beautiful to miss it. Let's walk around for a bit.", he suggested while Ash rubbed his eyes. Eiji put an arm around his waist, and they walked along the lake and enjoyed the sun.

"Wow, it's true that the lake has different colors. It depends on the time of day and from which angle the sun reflects the water. It's so beautiful." Ash smiled at him.

"I hope my mood wasn't that bad.", he apologized to him. "You know I'm not an early riser."

"Yes, I know that, but don't worry. I'll get my revenge soon.", Eiji smirked at him devilishly before he took some more photos of the lake. Ash looked questioningly at him but didn't ask him what he had meant by that.

"Let's take a photo of us together, ok? A great photo of our trip together that we can hang in our apartment. I'd like to create countless precious memories together with you."

After a while, they left the National Park and took the train to a town near Sapporo. Eiji had read about a fall festival that was celebrated there. With regional and seasonal food, arts and crafts, music and much more. They walked through the town, and Ash saw that many stalls and products had pumpkins on them. "Eiji, what's with all the pumpkins here?", he asked anxiously, walking faster and gripping his hand more tightly. Eiji wondered if that had been such a good idea to bring Ash here. But the pumpkin patches here were an incredible sight, and he wanted to take some photos. At the same time, he wondered if Ash's fear of pumpkins was just superficial and based on a bad memory or if he would panic when spotting them. He didn't know how he'd react because the pumpkins in Hokkaido looked different from those in the US. They were much smaller, so he thought Ash would be ok. He had always wanted to come here, to Hokkaido, but he also knew that Hokkaido was famous for its pumpkins. Everyone knew that in Japan. However, he had failed to mention that little detail to Ash... "Hokkaido is also famous for its pumpkins.", Eiji explained, feeling guilty at once. "I'm sorry that I haven't told you. I thought you'd say no to this trip if you knew.", Eiji explained it to him honestly. Ash let go of his hand and turned around to him, fists clenched and eyes burning dangerously before he gave up controlling his temper. "I knew it! That there was something you were hiding!", Ash burst out furiously. "And of course I would have said no; those damn things sent shivers down my spine. I want them as far away from me as possi - " Ash abruptly stopped mid-sentence and stood there, frozen up, staring at the field ahead of them that had just come into view. While walking on through the little town, they had reached the outskirts where many different things were cultivated and harvested. In front of them lay a vast pumpkin patch. Ok, to be honest, pumpkin patch was a massive understatement. Nearly all the fields in front of them were covered in pumpkins. It looked more like a sea of pumpkins. The pumpkin patches were endlessly and reached as far as the eye could see. Eiji had noticed that Ash had frozen up entirely and stared at the sight in front of him in disbelief, his eyes wide open in shock. Eiji watched him carefully. He wasn't any less surprised. He had assumed that they had some smaller pumpkin patches here, but he hadn't expected they would stretch that far. He would have warned Ash or wouldn't have brought him here if he had known. He felt like the worst person on the planet right now. What had he done? "Please tell me I imagine that, Eiji. That's a p-p-pumpkin patch. And not one, but the whole area is full of pumpkins. They're everywhere.", Ash exclaimed, clenching his hands into fists so hard they were shaking. "No, you don't imagine it. I thought it would help you overcome your fear of them if I brought you here. But I didn't know there would be so many. I'm so sorry, Ash." "I don't want to overcome my damn fear!", Ash scowled at him angrily. Ash stubbornly turned around and went back the way he had come. Eiji ran after him and took his hand. That's when he noticed that his hand was sweaty and that Ash looked even paler than usual. He was shivering and looked uncomfortable as his eyes darted nervously around for a way to escape. His whole posture screamed that he wanted to get out of here. Eiji hugged him tightly. "It's fine, Ash. Please calm down. Do you want to leave?" Ash nodded at him quietly while a single tear ran down his face. Eiji gently stroked the back of his head. "I'm sorry, Ash. I didn't know there would be so many here. I assumed it would be a small pumpkin patch.", he apologized honestly to him. " "I didn't know that you were that afraid of pumpkins. To me, you're the strongest and bravest person I know. So I didn't take your fear of pumpkins seriously. He pulled out of the hug and instead grabbed his hand again. "Let's go somewhere else, ok?”

[lastsonlost]

Oh gasps, I'm shocked.

Who would have thunk it?

The story:

Updated with Sunday figures: In the wake of Terminator: Dark Fate’s failure at the B.O., and Paramount’s recent decision to make Beverly Cops 4 for Netflix, we have the further breakdown of cinema IP in Sony’s Charlie’s Angels reboot, which is tanking with a God-awful $8.6M domestic opening, $27.9M worldwide (from 26 markets), 3 Stars on Screen Engine-Comscore’s PostTrak, and a B+ Cinemascore.

The Elizabeth Banks-directed-written and produced pic is also opening in 27 offshore markets,

China being one where it’s also bombing,

with a $7.8M 3-day take in third place behind No. 1 local title Somewhere Winter ($13.1M).

All of this is primed to further spur a WTF reaction and anxiety among film development executives in town in regards to what the hell exactly works in this have-and-have-not era of the theatrical marketplace. Many will make the hasty generalization that old, dusty IP doesn’t work, or is now deemed too risky when it’s not a superhero project. However, moviemaking is an art, not a science, and annoying as it might sound, good movies float to the top, and this Charlie’s Angels reboot didn’t have the goods going back to its script.

<Maybe somebody should have been working on a good story instead of pushing an agenda.

We’re going to break down for you what went wrong in another graph, but we don’t want to bury the success of Disney’s release of Fox’s James Mangold-directed Ford v Ferrari, which looks to be coming in at $31.5M, well ahead of the $20M+ many were seeing, with an awesome A+ CinemaScore and 4 1/2 stars and a 68% definite recommend on Screen Engine/Comscore’s PostTrak. After a franchise-laden summer which buried originals, now an original pic is sticking it to the IP.

When it comes to the bombing of Charlie’s Angels, the takeaway is this is what happens when you have IP, but there’s no reason for telling the story.

In the walk-up to developing Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, and in the wake of its near $1 billion success, a fever broke out at the Culver City lot in the post-Amy Pascal era to reboot former Sony franchises or extend them, i.e. Zombieland: Double Tap (well over $103M at the global B.O. now), the upcoming Bad Boys 3, and, of course, Spider-Man, the latter electrified by Disney’s Marvel. Development studio executives define their being by getting films greenlit, and whenever that happens, it’s 90% of the job.

And the pressure is on to fill a 10-12 picture annual slate in a world where Disney vacuums up all the best IP. A third Charlie’s Angels with McG directing and Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu starring, wasn’t made immediately after the second chapter, 2003’s Full Throttle, as the sequel turned out to be 29% more expensive than the 2000 original at $120M, and also made less worldwide, $259.1M to $264.1M. With Elizabeth Banks coming off her hot feature directorial debut with Universal’s Pitch Perfect 2 (which over-indexed in its stateside opening at the B.O., going from $50M projections to $69.2M, and finaled global at $287.1M); after she expressed interest in September 2015 in taking on a Charlie’s Angels reboot with a modern feminist spin, there was no question in Sony’s mind that the project should move forward.

<Yeah Sony, how's that working out for you? You think they would have learned their lesson...

Guess not.

Back to the story.....

However, there were script problems, I hear, that could never be resolved. A few months after Banks boarded, Evan Spiliotopoulos came on to write. By the time cast was assembled in July 2018, Banks had penned the latest draft off a script by Jay Basu (The Girl in the Spider’s Web), and earlier drafts by Craig Mazin and Semi Chellas. Andrea Giannetti oversaw the project on the lot. However, I hear that the script for Charlie’s Angels didn’t really attract top talent, i.e. Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone and Margot Robbie (a trio that would have potentially jazzed up business). Hence, why the production opted to go with largely a fresh face cast outside of Kristen Stewart. While we overwrite that stars mean nothing at the box office, they do, sometimes, when it comes to propping IP, and unfortunately and arguably, no one in Middle America knows who British actress Ella Balinska is, and they’ve only became recently acquainted with Naomi Scott from Disney’s Aladdin and Lionsgate’s Power Rangers. Stewart, who is hysterical in the movie and even needed more funny bits, is in a different place in her career professionally, publicly, and privately. It’s unfair to think that she could delver her Twilight fans now.

Had she done Charlie’s Angels promptly in the swell of the Twilight whirlwind (like Snow White and the Huntsmen) then maybe it would have popped.

But she has largely been dormant from popcorn wide releases for the last seven years since 2012’s Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, busy excelling and wowing in specialty awards season and festival fare like Clouds of Sils Maria, Still Alice, and this year’s Seberg, to name a few. Stewart needed to be paired with equal or bigger-name actresses.

was a one quadrant movie, eyed at women 13-39, especially given its lack of action scenes, and wisely limited their exposure to what I hear is 50%, with co-finance partners 2.0 Entertainment and Perfect World. Sony claims the budget is $48M net; we’ve heard in the mid $50Ms. Tax incentives were taken in the pic’s Berlin and Hamburg shoots. Perhaps Sony should have spent more, because Charlie’s Angels biggest problem is that it has very low-octane, we’ve-seen-it-all-before action scenes. Heck, there’s more action in a 1980s Chuck Norris movie. After watching Charlie’s Angels earlier this week, I put the first two McG movies on Netflix, and it was like watching Star Wars in comparison to this reboot, with his sharp production design, camera movements, unique action, and comedy set pieces, and, of course, the first movie blasted Sam Rockwell out of a cannon. Understand that the first two movies in the series were able to compete and hold their own in an action space where, yes, Mission: Impossible and Fast & Furious (the first two films came out in 2001 and 2003) also thrived. Mission and Fast sequels distinguish themselves on multiple 10-minute action sequences that we’ve never seen before on screen; it doesn’t matter who the villain is. This Charlie’s Angels doesn’t have that. And not even a super-duper hit song “Don’t Call Me Angel” for the movie from Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, and Lana Del Ray can trigger lines at the multiplex; the music video clocking over 116M views on YouTube, per entertainment social media monitor RelishMix.

Some will claim that Banks’ version was never intended to emulate the meat and potatoes version of McG’s films; that this version was expected to be more comedic, and more feminist. Unfortunately, after McG set the table here with the franchise as an action film, you can’t reverse it. You can only outdo him. And with a franchise movie like Charlie’s Angels, you can’t make it for a one quadrant audience.

The film arrived on tracking with a $12M-$13M start, and really never budged, but sank. That means marketing didn’t work. I heard that a $100M global P&A was first planned on Charlie’s Angels, with the studio now reducing that overall cost greatly to around $50M and pulling back on expensive ads. Another hurdle in activating the young girl demo is that much of the pic’s cast isn’t on social media. RelishMix says that Banks is the social media star with over 6.6M followers across Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, with Scott counting 3.4M.

Sony kept pushing Charlie’s Angels, which in hindsight means there were development issues. In May 2017, a release date was announced for June 7, 2019. When the cast was locked down in July 2018, Charlie’s got moved to Sept. 27, 2019. In October 2018 when Warners pushed Wonder Woman 1984 from the first weekend in November to summer, Charlie‘s took over the autumn spot, which was the same exact place the original 2000 opened. However, when Terminator: Dark Fate moved onto the same first weekend in November, Charlie‘s relocated to this weekend as they vied for a China release which they ultimately got.

Charlie’s Angels drew a 66% female crowd, split between 36% over 25 and 30% under 25. But both demos respectively graded it low at 68% and 79%, with men at 35% giving it a 68% grade on PostTrak. Diversity breakdown was 52% Caucasian, 21% Hispanic, 14% Asian/Other, & 13% African American. Charlie’s Angels best markets were on the coasts and big cities. But again, nothing to brag about in Friday’s $3.2M gross, which includes $900K from Thursday and Wednesday previews.

Says RelishMix, which also foresaw this disaster approaching on social media chatter, “Angels is the latest example in a ‘woke’ effort to reboot a franchise that many were not all that interested in to start with. In fact, many references to the 2000 version get a call-out as a reason this one doesn’t seem to compare – whether it’s the cast or the action teased from the film.

And, as observed with other recent films, some action/adventure, unfortunately fans say they’re steering clear of this one because of its ‘girl power’ messaging.”

[nicomacheannothing]

11-26-2020

It has officially been the weirdest Thanksgiving ever. In this weird way, I feel like the “2020 Numb” is kind of keeping me sane.  I was up until 2:30 baking cookies the night before. It would’t have taken so long if we had gotten started earlier, but we needed apple cider and caramel vodka. The vodka was sold out everywhere except this one party store on Drake where they had one bottle left. The cider mill was closed, so we ended up driving all over creation looking for cider too. Austin’s parents wanted us to pick up pizza so we could have a quick dinner, then also have leftovers for when Mady and Julius came into town. I got confused and ordered the wrong pizza. I felt bad about that so I used my own money to buy them the one they actually wanted. That was kind of annoying cause I’ve been spending waaayyy too much money lately on Holiday stuff. It was my fault though. Oops. So after pizza we made cookies; my first time ever making cookies from scratch! We did chocolate raspberry espresso chip and apple cider. The chocolate ones were amazing, but the texture of the apple cider ones wasn’t quite right because we messed up the glaze. They tasted good though!  The next morning (Thanksgiving morning) I got up before my parents and I rearranged the living room to set it up for Thanksgiving festivities. I decorated the dining room table with flowers and lights and I set up a pin board covered in family photos. I wanted my mom to wake up and see all of that stuff and be cheered up. She had a hard week and she gets little sad around the holidays anyway. 

She loved the decor, but told me that Ben might not be coming home after all because he was still waiting on the results of his COVID test. That would suck, but we hadn’t started cooking yet, so we could just make a smaller batch of food and then FaceTime him for dinner. NBD.... then, as I sat down in my room to eat breakfast, my mom knocked on my door and poked her head in. “Ben has COVID”, she said.  At first, I thought I had heard her wrong. My whole family has been so, so lucky up until now. I didn’t hear wrong though. Ben got his test results back that morning and he was positive. We immediately FaceTimed him to see how he was doing. He confessed to us that he had actually been feeling really sick for the past couple weeks, but didn’t think it was COVID. He’s on medication for ulcerative colitis that prevents inflammation. Lung inflammation is what causes a lot of the nasty respiratory symptoms of COVID and Ben’s medication prevented that from happening. He thought it might just be some other bug that he caught at one of the handful of gigs he played last month. Nope. It was the Coronavirus. He was optimistic, saying that he was feeling better recently and thought he was at the end of the illness. Of course, this meant that he couldn’t come home, obviously.  My parents and I decided to skip Thanksgiving and drive to Detroit to drop Ben a care package. It kind of evolved into 3 boxes of groceries haha. Dad and I both went to the store. I walked home with what must’ve been 15 pounds of stuff because Ben wasn’t going out and was low on food. Dad also bought him a Star Wars lego set to play with. I bought him a “Happy Thanksgiving” balloon to attach to the pile. One of the most amazing things about my family is that, if one of us in trouble, the rest of us spring into action, no questions, no conditions, no complaints. It’s just always been like that. We always make things work like that... we threw all of our stuff and the dog into the car and hit the road. My Thanksgiving dinner ended up being a piece of leftover cheese bread from the pizza I had with the Browns. I guess it was good that we had extra.  When we got to Ben’s apartment, we dropped the boxes off on his doorstep and FaceTimed him as he opened them. There was a moment, as I was heading back to the car, where Ben opened his door so we could see each other for a second from 6 feet away. I was happy to see that he was ok, but it was also sad and weird that we could only communicate from behind a door. I know that we’re still really lucky, but it’s one of those moments that I never in a million years expected to have. 

Ben liked all the stuff we got him of course. Especially the Legos :p  He told us that he was planning on getting another test this coming Monday and, if it was negative, he would come home next weekend. I really hope he’s right and he’s at the tail end of the infection. He told us about how weird it was to not be able to smell or taste. He just wouldn’t eat because everything tasted like cardboard, then he’d feel worse from not eating. Horrible shit. 

When we got home, my parents were tired and basically just chilled for the rest of the night. I did make myself a caramel vodka apple cider drink and had a piece of pie... cause it was still Thanksgiving and I needed to have something fun haha. Then, I started baking and cooking for the Thanksgiving “party” I was going to have with the Browns the next day. I made carrot cake cupcakes and these crispy parmesan potatoes. Both turned out really well. 

The party was a blast too. We played Fireball Island, but turned it into a drinking game with Fireball whiskey. :p I also danced a lot cause Mady and I were DJ-ing the whole night. :p Austin and I crashed at, like, 2am and I ended up falling asleep in his old childhood room... which is still exactly as it was when he was in high school in the early 2000s. His mom wants to change it up and make it another guest room, but I love that room. He and I were laying in there until 6am talking about music and plasma TVs. I was still pretty drunk, I think, but there was something magical about the whole scene... it was like something out of a movie haha. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go back to the rest of my life with all of the stress and worry. I just wanted to lay there in the teen room with him forever. But that wasn’t possible, of course.  When I got back home, my parents had accidentally locked the storm door, which I don’t have a key to. I had to climb into my bedroom window, still living my best adolescent life, apparently :p  It was a weird weekend, but there were some amazing moments. Ben told me on Saturday that he’s feeling better. Hopefully his test tomorrow will come back negative and he can come home. COVID sucks. I’m so sick of people not wearing masks and acting like fools. It’s a real thing, people. I just want to Pandemic to be over. At least I have a good circle of people that I can spend time with. We always find ways to make things bearable. My parents take action and do things to change the situation... the Browns just say “fuck it, let’s just have fun while we can”. I need a little of both in my life, I think. I’m really glad that I have it. I’m really thankful for both of my families <3

[seungcheolsbodyharness]

Title: Ceremonies and Celebrations

wc: 7.2k

Summary: Soonyoung proposed to you on your birthday. This is everything that comes next.

If you haven’t read Pacts and Promises please read that first, here, this is not a one shot. thank u

a/n: Happy very belated birthday to the loml @jungkooksxo, this is her very late present (just like P&P was last year ;_;) I hope you like it kimothy 💕💕💕💕💕💕

x

You say yes. Over and over, with tears in your eyes, you tell Soonyoung that yes, you’ll marry him. You’ve never wanted anything more. He slips the ring onto your finger and it’s perfect, he’s perfect, you’ve never been so happy, you can’t stop the tears. 

To think that only a year ago, you’d never known if you’d be allowed to love him like this. You’re so grateful he insisted on carrying out that ridiculous pact, and he laughs when you tell him so. He’s standing now, holding your face in his hands and kissing you all over, wiping away your tears. 

“I’ve loved you since before I knew what that meant.” he tells you, wrapping one arm around your waist and swaying with you slowly to the music still playing on his phone. His voice is soft, a little broken from his own tears that have been shed. “I’ve always known that you were what I wanted. You - you told me the reason you hated the pact was because you were worried I wouldn’t love you back and - and that was why I was pushing it so hard. I wanted to tell you so badly.” 

You laugh, a little watery, and press a kiss into his neck. “I’m glad we made it here. I love you.”

He returns the sentiment and you continue swaying together there in the lantern light of the gazebo. 

The Announcement

The first call you make is to your parents, sort of - you don’t tell them that the two of you are engaged, because you want to see their faces. Soonyoung suggests just telling them it’s been a while since all of you have gotten together, and that you want to see them as soon as you can. Plans are made for the following weekend, and Soonyoung’s parents agree as well, and you’re so excited. 

This does, of course, require some elusive tactics on your part - you don’t want to not wear the ring, but you fear that if someone sees it the news will get out before you can go out to see your parents. You want nothing more than to take pictures of it and tell the whole world how much you love your fiance, how excited you are to be with him for the rest of your life. Soonyoung understands of course, and reminds you with a kiss that it’s only a few days. You’ll be able to shout it from the rooftops soon enough. It takes everything in you to not refer to him as your fiance in every breath, but you manage, and soon enough you and Soonyoung are pulling into the driveway of your parents’ home. His parents’ car is already there, and you know now that this is it. 

Your mother greets you at the door, and you think of the ring nestled in your pocket. Everyone is seated in the living room, and you all hug and greet each other, and once things are caught up, Soonyoung’s mother expresses her suspicions that there’s an ulterior motive to this meeting. 

You and Soonyoung both blush, and both laugh. “Actually,” you start, reaching into your pocket and slipping the ring onto your finger, “there is something we wanted to tell all of you.”

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant.” your mother gasps, which makes his mother gasp, both of them covering their mouths with their hands. 

“What? Mom, no.” You laugh. You pull your hand from your pocket, angled down to show off the ring. “We - we’re getting married.” 

Your mothers gasp collectively this time, reaching out to their respective husbands who seem unsurprised. Happy, but by no means shocked. 

“Was it the ring you showed me?” Soonyoung’s father asks, smile small and knowing. Soonyoung nods, his own smile a mirror. 

You stand and walk over to show the ring to them up close, but instead you’re pulled into a tight hug as your mother and his stand as well, wrapping you in their arms, both of them crying. You’re overcome with the need to cry as well. You’re so lucky to have this much love in your life. 

“Tell us everything.” Soonyoung’s mother begs when they release you, holding your hand up to her eyes.

You and Soonyoung meet eyes, and share a tender smile. “You tell them. You planned it all.” you say. He presses a kiss to the top of your head and begins the story.

Later that night, you’re alone with your father in the kitchen - making snacks to bring back out to everyone else. 

“You didn’t seem that surprised.” You say, pouring popcorn into a bowl. “Neither you or Mr. Kwon did.” 

He chuckles. “Well, Soonyoung did ask my permission about a month ago.” 

“You gave it, I’m assuming.”

He shakes his head. “I told him he didn’t need it. Our families have always been close, and I love him like my son already, and the permission that mattered most was yours.” 

“Oh.” you smile softly and reach out to hug him. “Thank you, dad.” You step back, but something sticks out. “But why was mom so surprised then?” 

“Oh, that.” He smirks. “Soonyoung came out to visit last month, and we - him, his father and I - went to dinner so he could discuss his plan to ask you. He had a ring picked out, and when we both expressed support, we all agreed to keep mum about it. Your mothers are both…excitable. We worried they might spill the surprise.” 

You laugh. That does sound like them. “Well, it all worked out in the end, huh?” 

Your father nods and takes the bowl of popcorn from you, leading you back into the festivities. The moment you’re back your mother smiles, broad and full of joy, pulling you down to sit beside her and patting your leg. “I can’t wait to go dress shopping with you.” 

You smile, even though you’re sure the experience will be equal parts stress and magic, and Soonyoung’s mother makes sure to say she’ll be there too.

“Of course.” You lean your head onto your mother’s shoulder. “I need both of you to be there.”

Soonyoung smiles at you from across the room where he’s sitting on the couch, and mouths the words “I love you.” 

the party, first of many

Your parents insist on it. You and Soonyoung both try to insist otherwise - engagement parties aren’t a must, and neither is a full on photoshoot. The important people in your lives know you’re engaged, and that’s what matters to you. The party really isn’t necessary. 

“Then think of it more like a family reunion.” Soonyoung’s mother tells you. “But with twice the family and all your important friends. We can do a pot luck if it will make you more comfortable.”

“Plus,” your mother adds, “think of the guest list as a trial run for the one for the wedding. We won’t tell anyone it’s an ‘engagement celebration’ so anyone who doesn’t make the cut won’t feel slighted.” She turns to your father and smiles. “That’s what we did.” 

Your eyes widen and your parents laugh. “That’s a really good idea, actually.” 

You and Soonyoung head home the next day, heads reeling a little, tasked only with creating a guest list and showing up on the day of. 

The two of you spend every night for a week or so - or more - poring over your contact lists, on the phone with your parents with questions about which relatives the family was still cool with and who was absolutely not going to be invited. 

It’s exhausting, but once it was over you felt a distinct sense of relief. Your parents sent out invitations, carefully inviting everyone to “an evening of family and friends, please bring a covered dish” instead of mentioning your relationship with Soonyoung. The friends you’d alerted ahead of time had asked if it was an engagement party, but were easily appeased with the promise of good food and an open bar. 

The night comes three months into the engagement, and it’s easily the most stressed you’ve ever been. Even though the night isn’t dedicated to you and Soonyoung, it doesn’t stop all of your older relatives coming up to you and poking and prodding at the two of you to answer questions about the upcoming wedding - sometimes literally. Your parents, thankfully, seemed to always be able to tell when things were going too far; one of them would magically appear to sweep a relative or three away so you and Soonyoung could breathe. 

Looking back, it was a good night. A great night, overall - being surrounded by people who love you, eating good food and hearing people congratulate you and Soonyoung on your love. Things could certainly have been worse, but a lot of your family knew and liked each other already. 

Maybe planning the wedding wouldn’t be so hard.

Planning

November - 18 months to go

With the not-an-engagement-party out of the way, the pressure is on to begin the real planning. Soonyoung agrees that a summer and a winter wedding are both off the table - weather too much of an extreme to be considered. That leaves spring and fall, both seasons beautiful in their own rights. Picking fall seems to be the better option, as it gives you a full year to really plan with it being mid-fall now, but you and Soonyoung are both enticed by the idea of getting married when the world is in full bloom. 

If anything, you rationalize, it gives you more time to plan and make sure everything will be perfect. You pick a Saturday in early May, and now comes the task of hiring a planner. You and Soonyoung are both too busy to try and plan anything yourselves, and you know that Seungcheol and his husband had done nothing but sing the praises of the one they’d hired. You make a note to get her name from them when they come over for dinner the following week and shoot a text to your mom as Soonyoung does the same. It’ll be a long engagement - nearly two years - but it’ll be worth it. 

“I’m excited.” you tell him, smiling as you lean into him on your couch. “We have a date. This is real.”

“Hey now.” he chides playfully, “It’s been real the whole time. Even if we didn’t get married for three years, it’d be real.” 

“I know,” you laugh. “It just - setting a date makes everything feel so…solid.”

Soonyoung rubs your arm and nods. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” 

x

The first meeting with the planner goes spectacularly. She really understands the vision you’ve crafted in your head - and in numerous pinterest boards - and already has suggestions for venues and catering and florists. 

Maybe planning the wedding wouldn’t be so hard with her on your side.

January - 16 months to go 

You get a call from your planner early one Monday morning, telling you she wants to take you and your fiancé out on Saturday to look at some possible venues. She’s only selected ones available for your date, so there’s no issue of running into a scheduling conflict. All you and Soonyoung have to do is show up and say yes. 

You meet up with her early Saturday morning, everyone with coffee in hand, and pile into her company SUV before hitting the road. She has a good number of places she thinks are good options, and the first few are right here in the city. 

The first two are immediate “no”s. There’s just something about the spaces that even thinking about them dressed up just for you doesn’t feel right. You finish the tours and politely thank the managers before heading off to the third.

This is your first positive option - a botanical garden on the outskirts of the city that you and Soonyoung have been to before, and you’re surprised neither of you thought of it before. The idea of getting married here excites you both, especially when the event manager shows you pictures from previous weddings. It’s definitely a strong contender and when you leave you’re feeling much more hopeful than you were before. 

The last two options are out of the city - hotels tucked away in smaller towns with sprawling lawns and beautiful gardens during the warmer months. The first is charming but possibly a bit small, and would require having their own team cater the festivities. You’re not against the idea, but you don’t want to miss out on anything by locking yourself down. 

The second, however, is like something out of a dream. 

Pulling up to the hotel itself feels like you’ve wandered onto the set of a movie. You can’t explain it - everything is beautiful even covered in snow, and as you’re lead through the gardens along the path you get more and more excited, squeezing Soonyoung’s hand and smiling at him brightly. The manager leads you out to the place most commonly used for the ceremony, and you can see why - the gazebo looks out onto a beautiful lake that must be even more beautiful in springtime. When you head back inside for coffee and a more detailed explanation of the packages available, you know you’re already sold. The pictures they show you both of previous events only proves to cement the choice in your mind.

You turn to Soonyoung and by the look on his face, you know you’re in agreement. He turns to the event manager and says, “We’ll take it. We’d love nothing more than to get married here.”

April - 13 months to go

“Why are there so many fucking types of font and paper for invitations? And for save the dates? Are save the dates really necessary?”

You and Soonyoung are seated in the bakery near your apartment, looking through stationary samples your planner had given you from her stationer of choice. There were so many, and the choice wasn’t made any easier when she reminded you that any sample could be changed to suit your color scheme and personal style. This seemed like it would be an easy choice right up until you’d been handed the binder. 

You sigh as you flip slowly through the samples, Soonyoung’s head resting on your shoulder. “This is a big decision though, Soonie. Once we pick these, all the stationary will be taken care of - save the dates, invites, seating cards, menus, thank yous, everything. So much will be done just by picking…something.” 

He huffs and takes a bite of the cookie he’s been picking at throughout this whole process, holding it up for you to bite at as well. You chew and flip to the next page and your whole face lights up. 

“Soonie,” you say, voice full of excitement that causes him to lift his head from your shoulder to look at you directly. You tap the page, smiling at him wildly, “This one, Soonie, but in our colors. Wouldn’t it be perfect?”

Soonyoung squints down at the binder, reaching out to touch the cardstock as he surveys the design of it all, and nods. “The font, though - remember that font from the beginning we really liked? This style but that font, and our colors?” He slides the binder to his side of the table to flip back - making sure to use a thumb to mark the place that had excited you so much - until he found the set he’d been talking about. He’s right, when you look at it - it all seems perfect in your mind’s eye. 

You take two sticky notes off the pad you’d brought along, writing ‘font’ on one and ‘style’ on another, sticking them on the pages you’d selected and closing the binder. You both sigh with relief, sagging back in your seats. 

Setting your date so far out had seemed like a fine idea at first, until you realized it meant prolonging when you could actually sit down to plan and arrange certain things. 

One step down - hundreds more to go. 

June - 11 months to go

Dress shopping is much less magical than you ever hoped it would be.

You’re up early on a Saturday after a rough week at work and you’d much rather be back at home, snuggled and sleeping in Soonyoung’s arms. But you have numerous people coming into the city today just to come along on this experience with you, and you have appointments at bridal salons, so you can’t just cancel.

You have everyone meet you at the first store and they all look significantly more excited than you feel - but you’re hopeful that as the day goes on and you try on dresses, that will change. You’re not expecting to cry today, but who knows. 

You spend the day in a flurry of white and cream and eggshell, even a few pinks on the palest end of the spectrum, but nothing is right. Every dress is beautiful - even the ones that end up not being beautiful on you - but none of them are giving you that feeling. Not a single dress has given you the sensation that you absolutely had to have it, none of them had made you sad to take it off. 

Everyone had assured you it was more than normal to not fine The Dress in your first day. It was an important decision after all, one that much like your decision to marry Soonyoung would follow you for the rest of your life. You knew this might happen, but you can’t help but lose hope. 

You’re at the last shop of the day when the salesperson helping you comes into the dressing room, a few new dresses folded over their arms. They smile at you soothingly, knowing already how frustrated the day has made you. 

“I’ve brought you a few wild cards.” They say, helping you out of what you thought would be your last dress today. “If you’re too tired to try them on, I understand, of course. But I think you’ll like them.” 

You take a deep breath and rub your temples. What’s a few more dresses. You nod and roll your shoulders, giving the go-ahead for for them to suit you up, so to speak. 

Immediately the vibe changes. The material isn’t really any different from any of the dresses you’d put on earlier, but the moment it’s settled onto your body you know. There’s a very high chance you will leave this store having put a payment down on this dress. 

The salesperson walks back out with you, taking care to make sure you didn’t trip over the hem. The moment your party sees you there are gasps, and screams, an “oh my god” or two and when you see yourself in the full length mirror, there are tears in your eyes. Turning carefully to face everyone, you can see that you’re not the only one. 

“This is it.” you say, unable to keep yourself from laughing even through the tears. “This is the one, right? I’m not crazy, am I?”

“No!” comes the immediate response. Your mother and Soonyoung’s are both crying rather loudly, holding each other on the couch. You open your arms and they come toward you, careful to keep from crying onto the dress as they hug you. It’s only a matter of moments before your friends join, and you’re all standing there laughing and crying. They pull away from you and the salesperson holds a box of tissues out to you, smiling brightly. 

“I take it this is the one, then?” they say, even though they seem to already know the answer. 

“Yes.” you say, wiping tears from your face. “This is my dress. Absolutely.” 

They nod and help you down off the pedestal and back towards the dressing room. You confide that you don’t want to take it off and they laugh. “That’s usually a good sign.” They help you out of it and put it back on the hanger, taking note of the serial number. “But one day you’ll be able to wear it whenever you want, and more importantly you’ll wear it to marry the love of your life. Isn’t that such a wonderful thing to look forward to?”

You start crying all over again. They’re unphased, handing you the tissues once more and saying that they’ll give you a minute to get dressed before finishing the appointment. You stand there, alone, surrounded by tulle and organza, tears flowing freely for a minute before you take a few deep breaths to steady yourself. You wipe your eyes and put your regular clothes back on, heading out to meet with everyone else. 

You give your size and your phone number and whatever information they’ll need to contact you, and when you take out your checkbook out, you’re assured the dress has already been paid for. You turn incredulously to your mother, who instantly points to Soonyoung’s, who points back to yours. They look at each other and laugh, only telling you not to worry about it. You frown, telling them that you’d budgeted for this, you could pay for it. Both your parents and Soonyoung were already helping with wedding expenses, so you hadn’t anticipated this as well. 

You’re overwhelmingly grateful for them. You wish you could do more than thank them.

When you express as much, they smile and tell you that you just have to make sure you and Soonyoung stay as happy together as you always have. That’s all they can ask for. 

You don’t cry again, no matter what anyone says. You absolutely do not cry - your eyes are naturally very wet. 

Later, when you’re home and tucked into Soonyoung’s arms, you tell him how lucky the two of you are - not only to have each other, but to have families who love you and have the means to help you. 

“I take it dress shopping went well, then?” he asks, tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear. You nod and lay your head against his chest. 

“I can’t wait for you to see it.” You say thoughtfully. “I think you’ll cry.” 

He hums, and then laughs. You look up at him, eyebrows quirked in a question mark, and he explains. “I was gonna say something cheesy like ‘you could come down the aisle in a potato sack and I’d probably cry’ but then I actually like, imagined it, and I couldn’t help but laugh. So I think as long as your dress isn’t a potato sack, I’ll probably cry.”

You laugh with him when you imagine it as well, hitting him playfully. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

October - 7 Months To Go

With the dress secured, things seem to move along much easier. The guest list is finalized, save the dates are sent, a photographer, a caterer and a florist are all hired, bridesmaid dresses are ordered with as little fuss as can be managed. Hotel rooms are reserved, the bridal suite in particular, more and more appointments are made for things that can only be done in the few months before the wedding. 

There had been a little snag with the photographer - Soonyoung’s friend Minghao, upon hearing you were looking for photographers, had been politely miffed that you hadn’t called him. It was his profession, after all, and you were his friends. You promised that he was of course your first choice, but you wanted him to be there as a guest, not to work. 

“Also, you’re in the wedding party.” Soonyoung had reminded him. “So it would be a little difficult for you to shoot it.” Minghao’s ears had gone only slightly red at this, but he did offer up some names that hadn’t been in your planner’s list. 

“They’re really good but need exposure, so you’ll get a better deal. Plus I’ll be able to check in with them if need be.”

You and Soonyoung ponder over whether it’s a good idea to hire someone who hasn’t done a wedding before, even with Minghao’s promise of checking in, but after meeting with one of them and doing some test shots, you agree that she’s who you want to hire and give her name to your planner. 

January - Four Months to go

Soonyoung’s not really used to being the center of attention, but this is of course the case when the time comes for tux fittings. He’s having his made just for the wedding, and it’s nothing like the experience he’s had renting in the past. 

He stands in a small dressing room while older men take his measurements and adjust his body this way and that to account for the way his body needs to move on the day of. They get him into a model in one of the colors that he’s chosen - something to align with the color scheme of the wedding. It’s a spring wedding and while Soonyoung looks fantastic in black, you and he had agreed something lighter would be nice. 

He goes out to show the people he’s brought along - Seungcheol and Minghao are here, as well as Junhui, Seungkwan and of course the best men, Seokmin and Jihoon. Only missing are Chan and Wonwoo. 

The response is, as expected, lots of annoyingly loud wolf whistles and hollers as he steps out. They’re not wrong, of course - he looks good and it’ll only look better when the suit is fitted just for him. Minghao stands to get a closer inspection and takes a few photos with his phone, showing the others before showing Soonyoung as well. The suit photographs well, apparently, something Soonyoung hadn’t particularly been worried about but is definitely a plus.

His jacket gets passed around to see if the color suits more than just Soonyoung - even though they’ll only be wearing the pants and not matching Soonyoung entirely. It’s quickly decided that this will be what he wears, followed by picking out ties and a shirt to match, and deciding after some discussion for the groomsmen to wear something different from Soonyoung. Matching ties and shoes with Soonyoung would suffice as long as all the party had the same look, with the addition of vests for the best men. Deciding those could be rented elsewhere, Soonyoung’s suit and the ties are all ordered and it’s off to lunch before they set out for the rentals. Normally Soonyoung would trust his friends to do this themselves, but you had requested he go along to be sure things were all the same and everyone was happy. 

Once they’re inside Soonyoung realizes you were right - the men quickly spread across the store, grabbing things and suggesting them to Soonyoung. He’s quickly overwhelmed and Seokmin notices immediately, quickly instructing everyone to put their things back so Soonyoung could browse the store himself. It was his wedding after all. Soonyoung sags with relief and walks through the racks slowly, grabbing things here and there he thought would look nice but not clash against his suit. Minghao walked with him, not suggesting anything but giving comments when Soonyoung asked his opinion, holding Soonyoung’s phone with the pictures of the suit pulled up. 

Eventually they get some of them into a dressing room to try things on and a decision is made, a text put into the groomsmen group chat for Chan and Wonwoo to let them know the details for them to drop by later the upcoming week to make their own arrangements. 

Everyone goes home for the night, and Soonyoung comes home to you at the stove, prepping dinner. He wraps his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder and sighing deeply. 

“That bad?” you ask, smiling and pulling one of his hands up to kiss it before setting it back at your waist. 

“Not until we got to the rental place.” he squeezes you before letting go so he could press a kiss to your cheek and hop onto the counter. “Suddenly everyone was everywhere and shoving pants in my face until Seokmin was like ‘hey, why don’t we let him pick stuff out since it’s his wedding’. Went much smoother after that. Everyone but Chan and Wonwoo are taken care of. Did you like the pictures I sent?”

“Yeah, babe.” You smile up at him. “Can you grab the milk for me?”

He hops off the counter to do as you ask, pouting. “You’re not gonna tell me I looked good?” 

You laugh and take the milk, pouring it into the pan before handing it back to him. “You looked so good, Soonie. You’re gonna look great when it’s all fitted just for you.” You kiss his pout when he leans in, pointedly, before turning back to dinner. 

x

Eating so much cake at 9:30 in the morning was never a good idea, particularly with Soonyoung. Neither of you had eaten anything before the cake, something you regretted almost immediately when the sugar rushing through your systems ended in a crash on your way to a second bakery. 

“We have to get lunch, Soonyoung.” you beg, “I can’t stomach ten more bites of cake without actual food in my stomach.”

He agrees and since it’s on the way, you stop at the bakery near your apartment. You’re waiting for your food when you realize something - a bakery. You turn to Soonyoung, whispering excitedly under your breath, “Do you think they do wedding cakes, Soonie?” 

His eyes go wide and his mouth drops open. You’d been coming here for years and yet neither of you had ever considered coming here - you knew they made simple cakes, but the focus was on breads and pastries, things made in batches. You go back up to the register, greeted once more by a cashier who knew both you and Soonyoung by name, had worked here almost as long as you had been coming here. 

“I have a question.” 

“Of course, what’s up?”

“Do you guys do wedding cakes?”

Her eyes go wide, and she thinks for a moment. “Not often, but I’m sure if I tell the owners it’s yours, they’ll be more than happy to.”

You smile brightly - you’d met the owners a few times and they were lovely people who lived in an apartment above the bakery. She steps away to call them and tells you they’ll be down in just a few minutes to talk to you and Soonyoung. She’s smiling, so you’re sure this is going to work out. You and Soonyoung take your food and sit, and he calls the other bakery to say you’d come down with a stomach bug and would call to reschedule. 

The owners meet with you a few minutes later, joining you and Soonyoung at your table. They tell you that they can make wedding cakes, and would be more than happy to make yours, but they can only do things that are stylistically on the simple side. You assure them that you don’t want anything spectacular anyway, maybe the icing of each layer a different color, some simple piping. It’s more about the way the cake tastes. You and Soonyoung agree to come in later that week, after work, to have a tasting and talk more about design.

You finish your lunch and head home, and neither you nor Soonyoung can stop smiling. Things are coming together quite nicely - the dinner, the cake, the flowers? All taken care of, now. Your rings have been picked out and ordered, the setlist for the DJ has been started, you’ve both begun writing your vows. Every day more and more pieces come together, every day this vision you and Soonyoung have created becomes more and more real. 

March - Two Months to Go

Invitations are sent out, and with only two-ish months to go, things are getting somehow less real. It seems insane that the day you’ve spent so long planning is a little less than eight weeks away - even though the planning has gone surprisingly smooth, and everything is in order, as the date looms closer you feel like you should be getting more and more excited.

You bring it up to Soonyoung one night as you sit together - but separately - writing your vows. 

“Soonie, do you feel like…it’s like, as we get closer to getting married, things seem less real. Does that make sense?”

Soonyoung looks up from his notebook and taps his lip with his pen. “No, I get that. I’ve been kind of feeling the same way. I bet it’ll go up til like, right before the wedding, and then everything will feel too real. And then day of it’ll go right back to feeling like a dream.”

You groan, about to say something when your phone chimes - Soonyoung’s does too, from the kitchen. You swipe across the screen, getting up to grab your laptop.

“Three more RSVPs from mom.” you say when Soonyoung moves to check his own phone. “She sent the names to the group chat.”

“Ah, okay.”

More and more RSVPs pour in during the following days and weeks, and it leads to numerous night huddled over a seating chart with both your mothers on the phone to ensure family members would keep the peace. 

April - Three Weeks To Go

Your day to day has become little more than check ins and spreadsheets and phone calls with your planner as things get down to the wire. Everything is still going to just to plan, there’s just a lot of details for you and Soonyoung to finalize. It’s tiring and you feel a little bombarded at all ends, but you both know how worth it everything will be. You keep each other sane and at the end of the day, that’s what matters.

You have a bridal shower and after that comes the bachelor and bachelorette parties, which leave you and Soonyoung both monstrously hungover the following morning, asleep until nearly two and feeling like no amount of greasy food or coffee or advil can save you. 

May - One Week to Go

Every night before bed, you and Soonyoung practice your waltz. You weren’t graced with his natural abilities, and the last thing you want to do is trip all over your dress and also Soonyoung. It’s a good way to break in your new shoes, as well. He says you’re getting better, and while you’re not sure, you trust him to keep you from looking too foolish. 

Three Days to Go

You feel like one giant ball of trembling nerves. What if you mess up? What if you trip down the aisle? What if you forget something important, like the license, or the rings, or someone unexpected shows up?

Soonyoung, bless him, can always tell when you’re letting yourself get too worked up. Even apart, he seems to know just when to text you a picture of some ridiculous shirt his favorite student wore, or how the chocolate chips in his cookie look like a face, or any number of other silly things that remind you how much you love him and how excited you are for the wedding. So excited to marry him. 

And when you’re together, he’ll take whatever your holding from your hands and set it down so he can take you into his arms, squeezing you tight and running a hand up and down your back until you relax. “Everything is going to be fine.” He’ll whisper. “At the end of the day, we’re going to be married. That’s all we need to worry about.”

The Day Before

You and Soonyoung drive out to the hotel for the rehearsal dinner, both of you mentioning how strange it’s going to feel spending the night apart for the first time in so long. You’ve relied on each other heavily for the last few weeks, keeping each other comforted and sane. You remind yourself that at this point, everything is essentially out of your hands. Worrying will get you nothing but a bad night’s sleep.

The rehearsal goes smoothly, thankfully, and your planner lets you know that everything is all set for the following day. Her team will be out early the next morning to handle setup and deliveries and all you need to worry about is getting some sleep and saying “I do.” Everything else will be taken care of. 

Soonyoung walks you to your room - on the other side of the floor from his - and kisses you goodnight at the door. “We won’t be apart that long.” He tells you, rubbing his thumbs over your cheeks. “We’ll wake up and find our way back to each other right at the perfect moment. I promise I’ll cry when you come down the aisle, okay?”

You laugh and he kisses you again as you go through the door. 

“I love you.” you tell him softly as you close the door. 

“I love you.” he responds, his back turned to you as he makes his way to his room. 

If you make your way into his bed later that night, promises on both your lips to wake early enough that you can slip back to your own room, no one else has to know.

The Wedding

You make it back to your room, unnoticed, with just enough time before your bridal party arrives with breakfast and coffee and mimosas, looking tired from the early hour but so happy to be a part of this day with you. Once the hair and makeup team arrive, there are too many things happening for you to even notice them all so you stop trying. If someone needs your attention specifically, they can ask for it. 

You can only imagine that the prep Soonyoung is going through across the floor is much less extensive - he and his party most likely slept much longer and are only getting together now, whereas you’re sitting in a chair with your face half-done, eating one of the pastries left over from breakfast while your hair is brushed and styled to perfection.

In a flash, the time has come. All that’s left is your dress, which your party helps you into and makes sure everything is as it should be. Someone from your planner’s team comes to collect you and, hands shaking, you follow them out of the room and across the hotel to where numerous people are gathered overseeing this and that all for your wedding. 

Your party lines up with Soonyoung’s, headed off by the flower girl and the ring bearer, and you can feel yourself already starting to tear up. You’re at the back of the line with your father and he hears you sniffle, looking down at you with kind eyes. 

“Don’t cry now, sweetheart.” He whispers, squeezing your hand. “You’ve barely made it to the good part.”

You laugh. “Tell me something funny from you and mom’s wedding.”

He hums as the two of you slowly step forward as more people make their way up to the altar. “We were married by a friend of ours, but later we found out he wasn’t actually ordained. He felt so bad - there had been some steps in his renewal that he’d missed, so his license was expired.”

“That’s not funny at all?” you gasp, immediately thinking of your own officiant - your planner had handled that when you had expressed no interest in hiring anyone in particular, and he’d been a lovely man when you’d met him. You were sure everything was fine.

“That’s true.” your father considers. “But you stopped tearing up, and now look. It’s your turn.” 

You realize that he’s right. He’d distracted you just long enough that you’d reached the end of the aisle, and you could see Soonyoung standing at the other end waiting for you. People stand on either side of the runner, but Soonyoung is all you can see. He’s smiling that wide grin of his that you love so much, and your heart is so full you’re sure you’ll have to burst with it. The closer you get you can see that he’s already crying and off-handedly you think about the promise he made you the night before. 

Soonyoung thanks your father and takes your hand, leading you up into the gazebo where the two of you exchange vows and love and tears, holding each others’ hands so tightly as the officiant reads the poems and passages you selected before the pronouncement is made. 

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” 

Soonyoung lifts your veil with shaking hands and you take his face into your own, wiping at his wet cheeks with your thumbs. He leans in and you lean forward and the crowd erupts as your lips touch, but all you can focus on is the man in front of you and how much you love him, how this kiss is the first of many to come in your marriage, the way his hands feel as they wrap around your waist and pull you closer. 

You separate and Soonyoung bursts into fresh tears, blubbering as he tells you how beautiful you look. You laugh, wet with your own tears, wiping his cheeks. 

“Let’s go have a moment to ourselves, okay, Soonie?” 

He nods and you take each others’ hands, walking back down the aisle together. You retrieve a handful of tissues from the planner, who reminds you that the photographer will be around in about ten minutes for pictures on the property before you and your husband head inside for the reception. 

You lead Soonyoung down the path to the next gazebo in sight, swinging your hands between you. He takes a seat and you wipe his face, despite his attempts to take the tissues from you to do it himself. 

“You shouldn’t have to-” he tries to say, but you tut at him and he stops. 

“Let me take care of my husband, Soonyoung.” He beams at your use of the word, pulling you down to kiss you softly. 

“I love you.” he whispers. “My wife.”

“I love you too, Soonie.” you whisper back. “I think we should head back.”

He nods and stands, smacking his cheeks a few times - only lightly - as if willing any future swelling and puffiness not to come up. 

Photographs are taken and you all head inside where you’re welcomed as the “Brand New Mr. and Mrs. Kwon Soonyoung.” 

You have your first dance and then Soonyoung surprises you with a choreographed dance of his own to one of your favorite songs. The whole room laughs, and so do you, and Soonyoung pulls you up to dance with him as the music fades and the DJ calls for everyone to join you on the dance floor.

Everything is perfect. The flowers, the food, the cake, the way the ceremony space had been decorated. You couldn’t ask for anything more. Everything you’ve spent so long planning blooms in perfect fruition and it’s more than you could have ever hoped for. 

Everyone’s speeches are moving and perfect and Soonyoung and Seokmin both get through theirs with minimal tears, and even Jihoon recites a poem he’s written just for the two of you, sitting down promptly afterwards as you and Soonyoung cry. 

When everything ends, and Soonyoung stands by your side as you say goodbye and thank everyone for coming, it’s perfect. 

It’s perfect, he’s perfect, and you’ve never been so happy.

[survivingtw]

A Weekend in Taitung // Why You NEED to Visit Eastern Taiwan

On the last weekend on the festival, myself and two coworkers hopped on travels and headed down to the south eastern town of Taitung.

First off, Taitung is FAR lol. Living in western Taiwan, we are blessed by the high speed rail system that shoots us down the coast in about two hours, north to south. On a regular train, from my area to Taipei is about 50 minutes. On high speed rail its less than 15. WHAT. Yes. I know.

Anyway, there is no high speed rail on Taiwan’s eastern coast and to be honest it would probably be quite the challenge and EXPENSIVE to build. The west coast is mainly flat until you hit the mountain range but the east coast pretty much is the mountain range lol. It’s also full of more aboriginals, nature and gorgeous seaside views !! Mountains and the sea all on one area ??!!?! YAAAAS.

The hot air balloon festival is VERY dependent on the weather. The few previous days were all cancelled and when we arrived (at 530am mind you =.=) it was raining a bit and many people left. Luckily, it cleared up for a good hour of hot air balloon fun. 

PS IT WAS GORGEOUS I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

Eastern as well as Southern Taiwan grows a lot of the food for the rest of the island so its not surprising that the food tasted so fresh. There were also some veggie choices that aren’t so common in the north. 

The alcohol is just as good in the north in case you’re wondering :P 

If you do your research, you can find some preeeeeeetty interesting restaurants to stumble into for a photo op :P

Just around from the hot air balloon festival, there is a look out where you can see the plains before the mountains start. Absolutely stunning. 

Later that day, we went to a restaurant on the shore. It was honestly such a great location because they had seafood, sangria, a pool and the ocean all on the same lot! You could really just spend the whole day here just for the cost of one meal and enjoy all the area has to offer.

   Although I only spent a really short time, it gave me a lot of inspiration and motivation to take more opportunities to visit towns and places like this that aren’t really in the tourist book. I felt so at peace not rushing like in the city but, having so much fun enjoying the water ... and panicking I was going to get a sunburn (WHICH I AVOIDED THANK GOD).

Pro tip: Rent a car or get a taxi drivers card. Renting would be lovely since most things are pretty spread out, but if everyone wants to drink, a cab is totally affordable, especially if youre with a few people and can split the fare. Just make sure to get someone’s number to pick you up cause you’re not just going to find a cab rolling around by the beach. 

[kendallwhittaker-blog]

howdy, hello, i’m logan and i’m from the est timezone and i’m like always asleep so don’t be shocked if i’m awake at not normal hours! but you can like this post or message me on disco to plot!

[ashley moore – female – she/her] – who’s that walking onto the stage? that's [kendall whittaker], the [roadie] for the band. she is [26], and is from [ohio], like the rest of the band. gossip mags like to say that she is [self-destructive], but i believe they’re also [hopeful]. i read that they’d be a [physicist] if they weren’t in the band, and that their favorite song was [high hopes p!atd]. hopefully it won’t come to that though, i like their stuff too much.

kendall was born and raised in the suburbs of toledo, ohio, born on a crisp fall morning on october 16th, 1993. her parents had been trying to get pregnant for ages and she had been their happy little accident. the daughter to two accountants that had met at work and fallen in love—joseph and abigail had been ecstatic. they’d wanted this for years, had planned everything before she had even been born. they had everything picked out for her, down to the very toys that she would play with to the friends she would have. due to the lengthiness of the process, kendall was an only child in her family and was absolutely and beyond spoiled as she grew up.

kendall, despite loving her parents dearly, was rather fond of her grandfather on her mother’s side, robert long. they two were as thick as thieves with him spoiling her even more and taking her out from her family to go fishing, camping, anything that wasn’t the prestigious view that her parents had initially planned. she would express to him wanting to try these things as they were unattainable to her for the most part and he would oblige every time. it was in 2003 that disaster struck and her grandfather passed away, leaving her heartbroken and grieving. she was ten. she had no true understanding of processing death, she had never experienced it before and it had hit her rather hard. during this time, she grew closer to her grandmother and her own mother, realizing just how much it had hurt them as well.

middle school was rough for her. the looks of her peers as she came in on the first day, the school she went to having heard about everything that had happened over the summer with her grandfather. it became to be too much, she found a solace in reading and studying to take her mind away. space became her favorite topic—the moon, the stars, the planets, the possibility of life being out there. she sheltered herself away from her family and her peers, watching the friendships that she had made sink down the drain. she didn’t feel happy much anymore, unless she was reading her books. her father took notice and tried everything—anything to make his only daughter come back out of her shell like she used to.

he would take her to concerts of bands she seemed to show an interest in, the movies, buy her things that revolved around the things she loved. for awhile, it didn’t work. kendall still showed no true interest in these things. it was when kendall started speaking with her school counselor about the possibility of graduating early in the coming years that she started looking up again. she had hope in her eyes. her grades that had been falling since the fall of 2003 improved and her life started to feel like it were turning around again.

in 2010, two years earlier than kendall had been slated to graduate, she received her high school diploma. she had essentially taken to ignoring anything except for her studies, giving no time to herself or the things she loved. she came out of high school without friends but with a new passion in her heart. that fall, she began college at bowling green state university in the physics program and learned to let herself feel more. she made friends, people she would never have thought to be friends with before, people who influenced her in such amazing ways. they became her rocks—josh, madison, kayla, all of them brought her into the person that her family had been trying to get her to be for so long. happy.

kendall within those four years was the most laid back that she had been in a long time. she lived off campus with her family but she was more often found bumming in her friends apartments, listening to pop-punk and pop music and having the time of their lives on game nights. her family didn’t mind because it meant that their daughter was back—for the time being. kendall had never truly been able to shake her depression and the fall of her senior year, had finally begun seeing a therapist. anything to talk about her problems or her life with someone. the stress of the year took a toll on her and her friends’ as well, as they began to drift away, but still maintaining contact.

the spring of her graduation, she started dating madison, something that neither of the two had expected. she had been kendall’s first real girlfriend, as for all her life, she’d only had crushes on men. there was no denying that she loved her, even if the relationship was vibrant and fun—concerts every weekend, clubs on the occasion, get aways to columbus once in awhile. but it came crashing down with madison accepted a job out of state in a hospital. it crushed kendall, more than she would’ve ever admitted that it did.

graduation came and kendall had been accepted to work at a job in a big city as an entry level physicist, something that she had been more than thankful for. she wanted to live this town and get away from the memories that it had given her. three months after moving to the new city, she found herself in another relationship, this time with someone that she had met off of tinder. he was sweet, she would admit that. but he wasn’t right for her, between never being there emotionally and the words that he would sling at her, it wasn’t right. she left him at the start of 2015.

it was around this time that kendall truly started listening to the music that she loved. she fell into it while she was working, letting the noise be her guidance at times. she starts going to more shows, getting her act together, life is looking up for her again. she befriends people in her area in the music scene and they give her the details to a record company that’s looking for help, if she really wanted a get away. part of kendall is worried that it’s too much for her, she’s never done any type of work in the music industry before and she hated the idea of leaving her current job high and dry. but she bites the bullet on an afternoon where her mind is spinning and she can’t make heads or tails of why she’s doing it. she waited two, three, four months before she received a call back.

they had been looking for help with setting up stages and had come across her information in their hiring system. they were impressed that someone with a degree like hers was willing to take the plunge into a completely new industry and they had wanted to meet with her for an interview. of course, kendall had said yes. she wasn’t going to turn down this opportunity. in another month’s time, she had been hired by the label and slowly worked her way through her training and understanding in the off days from her ‘day’ job. she worked for various bands, tours, festivals, for the new few years before being asked to help a band that the record were looking to sign and had been asked to join warped tour as their roading for that final summer.  

kendall still had dreams though of being something more, of finding her work elsewhere, so this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity for her. she had informed her job at the lab that she would be gone for a few months, taking an extended leave, and they’d been more than understanding. but part of her worried that things weren’t going to last and the other part of her worried that she would be giving up on the one dream she had of working with a space program one day because of this type of job she had picked up as a mere hobby.

[the-canary]

Languages of Saints - C.R (6/10)

Summary: A deal isn’t supposed to involve feelings, right? (Reader/Carter Baizen).

Prompt: “Did you enjoy yourself last night?” 

for at the now @imcarterbaizen​ ‘s 4k challenge. 

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 

Feedback is always appreciated.

Montreal.

You had only seen her once in your life, after you had fallen off the ice sheet of the sidewalk that cold winter break you had spent chasing after the mirage (across the US and into Canada) that Rocio had fallen in love with so deeply. Said woman graduated the semester before (Rocio was a “super senior”, though she denied it) and instead of staying in contact with your best friend --her own childhood friend-- Roci was driven to damn near madness trying to contact her, only to find that said woman was engaged and enjoying her freedom for the last time. Rocio pleaded for her love, it wasn’t any different from now.

You ran through the crowd and pushed your way along to see a very still and wet Rocio watching a beautiful, now divorced, woman walk away from her the 2nd time. You only caught a glimpse of her, gold and white dress with simple jewelry and hair pulled up high. There isn’t any emotion on her face as she disappears.

It’s Montreal all over again, as you grab Roci before she fall to the floor. Henry, her younger brother comes over quickly and drags the two of you inside of the family’s garden home, the people are muttering to themselves, watching like hawks but doing nothing more and you can’t help but feel bitter anger rise in you at how this will only push Roci back.

“Senna, I love you . Senna, I’m sorry ,” you hear the tall woman murmur to herself, as you almost let out a sob at how broken she sounds, just like back then with a broken hearted look on her face. Heidi shakes her head from the sidelines, unsure of what to do with her eldest child, as the four of you cross the large and highly decorated wooden doors -- your time Carter Baizen completely forgotten as you watch over and listen to Rocio over the rest of the weekend.

Rocio and Senna --flower and dew-- things that are supposed to be together, but never will be.

“Rich people can’t fall in love,” Rocio looks at you haunted, like she knows something you don’t, with those glossy green eyes of her, “It’s just a sick game of compromises and titles, who can be who first.”

And maybe you take those words too close to heart.

Carter spends the rest of his weekend and the first two days of work doing damage between his own connections with Rocio, but mostly because there are pictures all over social media of him dancing with a “mysterious woman”, though some people already know and others could figure it out if they try hard enough -- like Ellis had on Monday morning. Carter groans at the memory.

“So, is this gonna be your thing now?” Ellis sits back while looking at his phone, Carter knows that he is looking at a image of himself and her dancing in the garden party festivities. While, it wasn’t high school, word still gotta around just as quick, though he had been careless as well, “Going out with the help? Thought you would do better than that at least. Keep aiming big, no?”

“I’m not aiming for anything,” Carter grows defensive as he runs a hand through his hair in frustration, but Ellis gives him a look of disbelief, even the self-made man didn’t believe himself because Carter had woken up dreaming of her, of her soft laugh, of her endless loyalty to her best friend -- and even to him, from what he had heard her talking, even though he knew he didn’t deserve it. He couldn’t help but find something admirable in that.

Carter stays silent, as Ellis shakes his head.

“You have a soft heart for pretty things, Car,” Ellis states with a laugh as blue eyes keep staring at him, “But don’t let them break it again, especially the quiet ones.”

Carter shakes his head at the advice, before turning to look at his old friend with completely seriousness as his thoughts drift over how serious you were over the money that couldn’t be accounted for, that even he didn’t know where it was going anymore. Carter frowns as his blue eyes meet his friend’s and close associate.

“If we’re talking seriously right now, I have a few questions to ask you.”

He doesn’t want to remember the rest of the how the conversation went as he stares at the New York skyline in the afternoon sun, before taking a deep sigh. He hopes he isn’t doing what Ellis had brought up -- he couldn’t be falling in love again, that wasn’t the end game anymore. But, here he was worrying that you hadn’t come into work the past two day, hoping that everything was okay -- even if it was Rocio. Carter knew he could reach out to you at any moment, but no -- he wasn’t going to play that game anymore.

However, Carter Baizen is a weak man when he realizes he wants something, he keeps searching it out trying to catch a glimpse of it for a moment, trying to find a way to make it his. He had done all this once before, even lying about important matters of the heart in order to get the girl he wanted in the end, but there wasn’t anything to hold over your head -- I mean there was, but he didn’t want to take that route, of forcing you to be his for appearances sake. So, how was he supposed to go about it?

Then a letter came and a plan began to bubble in his head.    

Your week had been just as hectic though for different reasons as you had stayed with Rocio until she had decided to take an extended rest in her stepfather’s Connecticut home for some time. She hadn’t said anything besides goodbye and had contacted you since, though you were always checking her instagram only to be welcomed with nothing but scenic shots and one or two quotes. You worried like any best friend would, but Rocio was a grown woman and thus you could only hope for the best. Thus, you spent the rest of the week playing catch up with your work and taking care of Monsieur after having him stay with your annoying next door neighbor.

“Another meeting with the boss,” Nick gives you a questionable stare, as he gets ready to leave, as you are carrying piles of folders and your laptop in front of the elevator as the clock strikes 6pm.

“Just a lot of things to look over,” you explain with shrug,”Especially with this gala he now added. It’s annoying--”

“But, you enjoy it,” he responds, only to laugh lowly at the look on your face, “Don’t be shy, I see it when you talk about the events. You should be proud, not everyone has the patience to deal with all these people.”

 “Thanks,” is all you can say for the praise with a sincere smile as he leaves for an elevator heading to the bottom parking structure, but the thought almost made up with dealing with Mr. Baizen all the time. It wasn’t that you were over the hill over Nick’s praise or that Mr. Baizen annoyed you --though that wasn’t a complete lie sometimes-- but it was good to know that someone saw your actual dedication to everything that you did, especially over the sleepless nights and general loneliness that came with this type of work.

The ride up is quite since most people leave by 5:30, though you had always made it a habit to stay and work as much as you could in order to get the work done and off of your mind, though it had just lead to Harold and the former CEO to add more to your pile. Carter Baizen wasn’t exactly like that, but there was more research and outreach that come with event planning, that you had to quickly pick up and learn about. You spent most of the day calling and double checking, while most nights were spent with numbers, though it wasn’t as lonely as it was sitting in a dark office floor by yourself.

But, you would die before telling Carter Baizen that you somewhat enjoyed his company.

“Good evening,” you smile as politely as you can to the immaculately dressed man as he turns form looking at his laptop to greet you with a serious face, that you aren’t used to, as you sit down across from him like every Friday.

“Hey,” is all he lets out at the sight of you in a black skirt and blue button up, before remembering your best friend, “...how is Rocio doing?”

“As good as she can be, though I don’t blame her for leaving the city again,” you shrug, though feeling a slight appreciation towards the man for thinking about Rocio, even if they might have the best opinion of one another. It’s then that he decides to move towards a more personal topic.

“Have you seen---” he starts, curious as to if you even care about those few moments you shared a couple of days ago, the ones he couldn’t stop thinking about.

“Yes, Roci’s sister is very into telling me all the juicy Upper East side gossip when she can,” you explain as he has a vague memory of the much younger Violet, though his ears pick up over what you say in the end, “And as much as I appreciate your concern, this isn’t my first rodeo. I can take care of myself.”

You smile softer than he is used to and Carter swears that his heart stops for a moment. You go over the events for the upcoming month since there is a children’s center opening under the Baizen Co. name and other little events as there are events all over New York dealing with children and their needs when they aren’t in school -- a major center of philanthropy for the old CEO and his ( former , from what you have heard) wife. It is then that Carter brings up the gala and puts his plan into action.  

“So, what do you think?” he asks, as you look over the the small envelope and letter addressed to him.

“This gala would be a great opportunity for the fundraising side of the corporation, but there is a mandatory couples clause to the gala,” you state, while looking at the letter and not noticing the huge shit eating grin on your boss’ face,  “Do you have anyone to be your plus one?”

“If I told you that I’m looking at her right now,” he leans a little closer, as his elbows find the upper part of his desk as he leans in a little more to annoy you.

“What?” you grumble, but that doesn’t stop Carter from moving forward with his plan, “ That’s very unprofessional, Mr. Baizen.”

Then, he goes in for the killing blow.

“Not up for this type of challenge,” he questions with a grin like a little kid as you frown at how he throws your words back at you, “Or I guess I could go with some super model actress, maybe even make a spectacle.”

You slamming your hands onto his desk catches him off guard, but he can’t help but love the angry look on your face at his comment and the idea of him potentially ruining everything you had worked on to make the company look presentable and keep going, regardless of how much was his doing. You take a deep breathe and Carter can’t help be think that he really likes this side of you. God, he must really be a masochist.

“I’ll be your plus one, Carter Baizen, ” you let out lowly, as Carter feels a spark of excitement and something else that he hasn’t felt in a very long time when you say his first name in that way, “But, you’re on a very thin rope during the whole event.”

“Completely understood,” he smiles as he leans back into his leather seat, as you shake your head before filling out the card and putting away with the reminder to mail it out before the next of next week. The meeting ends quickly after that, as Carter asks if you need a ride home once more.

You say no once more and disappear down the street, but as he drives back to his apartment Carter can’t help but feel like he won something tonight.

Part 7

[lizziethereader]

a bunch of 11 questions tags

I was tagged in a few 11 question tags over the last few weeks and am finally getting around to them. I hope you don’t mind me putting them all together in one masterpost under the cut. 

thank you so much  for tagging me @anassarhenisch, @thereadingchallengechallenge, @books-are-portals, @maddie-mux and @bibliophilecats! I really do appreciate getting tagged even though it takes me a while to doing the tags. 

I’ll put my own questions and the people I’m tagging up here and the answers to all your questions under the cut ;) 

my questions: 

1. What are you looking forward to most when it comes to the upcoming holidays? (whichever holiday you want to refer to) 2. Have you been to a concert lately? Which one?  3. Which piece of media (book, movie, video, etc.) are you looking forward to consuming next?  4. If someone wrote a fictionalized (and heavily embellished) novel of your life, which genre would you like it to be? 5. What’s the last song you had stuck in your head?  6. What’s the weather currently like where you are? 7. How many open tabs in a browser is too many? (asking for a friend) 8. Are you good with money? (if so, teach me your ways!) 9. What’s the coolest thing a teacher of yours has ever done? (I wanna become the cool teacher, so I need to do some research, haha) 10. If money, space and time didn’t matter, which animal would you like to have?  11. Share a random fact about yourself! (please?) 

I’m tagging @bookvoyage, @lilymaidofgallifrey, @dreamingofreadinggoals, @aliteraryprincess, @flamingmirrorbookish, @the-forest-library, @manuscripts-dontburn and @thelivebookproject (no pressure though)  and anyone who just feels like doing this, of course! 

sooo, let’s get crackin! 

here’s @anassarhenisch‘s questions: 

1. Celtic rock, yes or no? 

I have honestly never listened to it... I’m not averse to give it a try though!

2. What’s the last book you quit reading?  quit as in abandoned? I don’t really do that... The last book I finished reading was ‘Big Mouth and Ugly Girl’ by Joyce Carol Oates

3. What’s your favourite fall activity?  baking and drinking cider! (yes you can do that all year round, but it just feels cozy, right?)

4. Do you believe in ghosts?  I’m probably a ghost agnostic. I don’t know if they exist but I’m not saying they don’t

5. When’s the last time you went to a circus or carnival?  There’s this big children’s festival in my town for two weekends every August and there’s always a circus, too. They did a special performance for all the volunteers who help with the festival and I went to that. So, long story short, like 2 months ago?

6. What does your favourite shirt look like?  hmmm good question. If we’re talking about T-shirts then it’s probably my Portal shirt. 

7. Do you like eating fish?  hahaha, not at all actually! I rarely meet other people who don’t. But yeah, I actually don’t like any seafood. 

8. Who’s your favourite artist?  oh man, this is a very difficult one! I’m not sure I can name a favorite. I like just being in awe of a piece of art (be it a painting, piece of music or something else) and I wouldn’t say I have one person I like better than all the others. Sorry for the lame answer!

9. Do you have any celebrity connections?  none whatsoever (that I know of) 

10. Are you a sports fan?  only equestrian sports and even then I don’t need to see every event there is. But I do enjoy watching the occasional tournament

11. How comfortable are you embarrassing yourself in public?  NOT AT ALL. Good thing I became a teacher then, eh? :P 

next up: @thereadingchallengechallenge‘s questions: 

What are you currently reading?  I just started reading Children of Blood and Bone!

Favourite snack?  I can’t pick just one, so: popcorn, macadamia nuts, chocolate covered raisins and all things chocolate :D

Do you set yourself a reading list or pick books by mood?  half/half. I have some types of books to read each month (1 poetry book, 1 classic, 1 nonfiction book) and then choose one of those based on my mood. And then I randomly select 3 books from my tbr. Those are always a surprise! 

Have you travelled anywhere so far this year?  Yup. I went to Germany 2 times (to a theme park), flew to London for book shopping and musicals twice, and went to Budapest with two friends for a weekend 

Reading anything spooky before Halloween?  Not really. I’m not a spooky books (or movies) person. 

Binge watching anything at the moment? I just finished binge watching Star Trek Discovery yesterday but I’m sure I’ll find something new soon. 

Who’s the author you’ve read most?  Douglas Coupland, apparently

What’s your favourite season and why?  Spring! Everything is getting warmer and greener again, my depression gets better and things are just generally looking up (usually)

Are you looking forward to any new releases?  I don’t think I’m waiting for anything at the moment...

What’s a quote you love?  “No, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars” from Oscar Wilde’s Lady Windermere's Fan

Recommend a book?  With pleasure! It Devours! by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor 

then we have @books-are-portals‘s questions: 

1. First thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “waffles”?  the amaaaaazing waffles at my town’s children’s festival each year. Also Leslie Knope 

2. Have you ever knitted anything? What was it?  When we learned to knit in school I knitted a scarf but I haven’t knitted anything since and I’m not sure I still could

3. What’s been the weirdest book you’ve enjoyed?   idk, what’s a weird book? Welcome to Night Vale is purposefully weird, if that counts? I’m not sure I’ve read any proper weird books...

4. Pick a random book from your shelf and recommend a film based on that book.  book: Tin Man by Sarah Winman - movie: Third Star (totally different storyline, but similar vibe, maybe?)

5. Top 5 clothing items.  - not really clothing but my riding boots (I love them. They fit me perfectly and weirdly give me so much confidence??)  - my new Pikeur breeches (yup, riding stuff again)  - the black business dress I graduated in (both High School and university)  - my Dirndl (you gotta have one if you’re Austrian :P )  - my (fake) leather jacket because it makes me feel cool  not sure this is an accurate list since I don’t really think about clothes much... 

6. Name the first song that comes to your mind based on your current read. Why that song?  hmm, I’m only 50 pages into my new book, this is very difficult! maybe ‘Battles’ by Hudson Taylor? The lyrics just seem to fit and I have a feeling the book will be harrowing, which the song definitely is. 

7. Would you rather visit the Moon or Mars?  I kind of want to go to Mars and see if Curiosity Rover is alright. 

8. What’s your favourite scent?  top three: freshly cut grass, new tires (I know, this one is weird), and the smell of tress like cedar, fir, and pine 

9. What’s the last thing you ate? Was it good?  kinder Schoko Bons and YES. 

10. Name 3 positive things you’re good at.  don’t do this to me! uhmmmmm reading? singing? maybe cuddling cats? 

11. What’s the strangest word from your first language(s)?  Well, I don’t really know what would be strange to you but I’m really fond of ‘oida’. It’s sort of an exclamation that can be used in a lot of different ways and its meaning depends on how you say it. So it could mean you’re really disappointed, angry, shocked, disbelieving or it could just mean something like ‘dude’. I love it and use it way too often considering it’s sort of lower class slang, I guess. 

aaaand here’s @maddie-mux‘s questions: 

1. First fictional crush?  I’m not entirely sure. Maybe Ziegenpeter from Heidi? :’D 

2. 11 authors (dead or alive) who you would want to spend a night in a haunted house with?  oh no, that’s a) way too many people and b) not something I would ever want to do 

3. Kiss, Marry, Kill - authors  I don’t really feel qualified to answer this. I don’t really get into people as much as I get into their characters and fictional universes. Doing this with real people feels weird, too, because I don’t want to do any of those actions with anyone.... I’m sorry to cop out of yet another of your questions!

4. One author whose books you automatically buy, of no matter what?  either of the Green brothers

5. Favourite fictional place?  maybe Night Vale? But not because I want to live there, just because it’s so wacky. 

6. Kiss, Marry, Kill - characters  this one is easier!  kiss: Poet from Trick (before he is spoken for, of course, I’m not a home-wrecker!)  marry: farmer Oak from Far From the Madding Crowd  kill: there’s so many to choose from! but I really really hate Aaron from The Knife of Never Letting Go!!

7. Favourite place to read?  on the go 

8. 11 characters who you’d take for an eternity on a tropical island?  nope nope nope - there’s nobody I would want to spend eternity with 

9. Hands down, all time favourite book and why?  you should be ashamed of yourself! you know most readers can’t answer this question :P (well, I can’t anyway)

10. Favourite fictional nonhuman animal character?  is it too basic to say Black Beauty? 

11. Fiction or nonfiction?  both! I read more fiction, but I wouldn’t want to live without nonfiction in my life! 

last but not least, @bibliophilecats‘ questions: 

Your favourite word from your first language.  I’m gonna use one of my previous answers for that and say ‘oida’ just because it’s so fun and versatile. Do you know ‘oida’ in your part of Germany? 

And your favourite word in any language.  Not sure I’d pinpoint it as an absolute favorite, but I quite like ‘alas’ because it sort of embodies my view of life, haha 

Name 5 positive things about yourself.  5?? It took me 10 minutes to come up with 3 for one of the questions above! Unbelievable...  - I try my best to keep an open mind  - I try to also get my students to do this  - but I also like to question things  - I’m not blind to my shortcomings  - and I do want to become a better person, though I need to put more effort into it 

And now 3 things you are good at (I kept that one from @books-are-portals list because self-love is important)  I am NOT coming up with more because I am absolutely unable to do so. Sorry! (yes, I have issues, I know)

What’s your “Patronus”-memory, i.e. the happiest moment in your life?  ooooh good one! maybe the day I got my degree and graduated from university. (because leading up to this point my mental health was so bad I wasn’t sure I’d live to see that day...) 

Recommend a book which you think I should read.  maybe ‘Welcome to Night Vale’ or ‘It Devours!’? 

Do you set yourself a reading list or pick books by mood?  both! see above for a more detailed answer

Did you make friends on tumblr that you met (or want to meet) in real life?  I would love to meet quite a few of you! (sadly I haven’t, yet)

Last book you read that was completely outside your normal reading preference. Why did you pick it up and did you like it?  Probably the Kite Runner? I picked it up because sooo many people and many of my friends love it. I, however, did not. 

Favourite christmas book?  I haven’t read many so far, but Dash and Lily’s book of Dares!! 

Favourite christmas movie?  I’ve always loved Miracle on 34th street but I haven’t rewatched it in years so I don’t know if it hold up