#well. i feel a little :/ about this turn of events. but im glad people are appreciating her more

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

knowing what we know about Teruko makes me want to go back and re-read Sky Casino arc because man does that ever make everything she does there just that much more horrifying

[leavingsunsets]

Helllloo!!

I would like to request a senkuu x reader if possible! (Preferably some angst + romance but anything works!) Been looking for some inspiration and I love your work!

Also hopefully you're okay if I draw some of your work too

Thank youuuu!! (>u<)/

im okay with you drawing my work! saw some of ur art, and wow! glad ur a fan tehee :33 i see you've given me an angst plot, with romance? yes i will definitely fulfill this. i waaaassss ssupposed to make this action filled with scene wit reader dying in battle of treasure island arc and senku going "WHAT" and head in hands and sobbing and the gang has to go back to the mainland hat on stomach like ":(" but exams and research defense finished and i also jus watched cute little vid of an old couple so this is jussttt hmmm a softer angst set between events ig

"ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴍʏ ᴡᴀʏ."

[ꜱᴇɴᴋᴜ x ɢɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]

It wasn't really a secret. You didn't even try, honestly.

Since the first of times of where you'd glimpsed his face at school, to the latest catch of him swirling fluid in a beaker, you've always been confident in your feelings.

Albeit a bit clumsy in your attempts, you were honest, never mincing them, never embarrassed.

"Senku, I really really like you!"

"Yeah, okay, could you pass me that screwdriver?" he says, both of you 6 years old in his room, as he gestures to the tool beside you.

"Senku, I want to date you. I heard Aimi had a boyfriend recently and I was thinking-" your voice goes interrupted as the loud sound of Senku's machinery overpower yours. 13 years old, another one of his favorite past times.

"Senku, if we were both nobles in medieval fantasy and I had to marry someone in order to get a persistent suitor off my back, I'd go to you. Offer a contract with an eventual divorce, but then we fall in love in a slow burn romance and start rethinking about our agreement."

"Can you- just- HELP ME, DAMN IT." Senku heaves, 16 years old, face turning red as he struggles to hold the boxes of equipment you came to help him with.

All these confessions, all these words, even before everything changed. The clatter of a can hitting the ground.

...

In this new life, surely, you know, Senku's had an absolute goal for this world. To rebuilt it as it was, from his own two hands. In your own way, you've had to learn how to pace your feelings.

Instead of words, as you always did, you decided to translate your affections into a language that matters most in a time like this.

Actions.

For every problem, every step he takes, you take with him. Express your thoughts, concerns, ideas. Any progress, you're there to celebrate with, any process, you're there to assist.

Declarations of love aren't so frequent, though you do like to sneak it in rarely. Announcing it in bursts of passion at the top of your lungs. Quite an antic you do, much to his embarrassment. It's become a well known fact, and often a joke between company.

Though, sometimes you wonder if it's what makes him doubt it. Your overt confessions, cheesy poems and bustling energy that could rival Taiju's. Was it too clumsy? Too obvious that he feels it's an exaggerated farce for show?

To this, you whisper gingerly in the dead of night, in the earliest of mornings,

"Senku. I really really like you."

In the times of uneventful hours, peacefulness in comfortable silence,

"Senku,"

You know, of course you do, of all people.

No one knows him more than you and that fact would've made you happy of such a thing if it couldn't break your heart more. The love of your life, saying everything said in a language that matters most in this time.

An unreadable glance. When the sun beams down brightly and you stare at him lovingly like he's hung the stars in the sky.

Winter strikes mercilessly, days are rough, tensions are high. When everything's all good and done, a bold pinkie inches towards his own. He doesn't pull away, but his hand moves back just as further.

Late at night, behind the tree he leans upon, watching, just watching. His ruby eyes enraptured by the night's celestial pearl.

Gaze too high, to see you.

You close your eyes.

You don't think you can ever stop loving him, despite that. That man doesn't like dragging things out, so you're sure a rejection is soon to come. Whether you approach first or not.

Why he doesn't do it sooner? You know why. As much as he doesn't reciprocate, you know how hesitant he is when it comes to close relationships such as you. Is he scared of breaking your friendship?

It's not the warmth you're looking for, but it's the warmth you can get. Even so, you would never expect him to return just as much as you've given. You love him for him, and not for anything else.

Tragic, how terribly you do.

Maybe one day, you'll learn to forget, to move your heart from where it isn't supposed to be. Maybe one day, you would stop gazing at him with something much more than fondness, waiting for his eyes to find its way back to you.

But until then,

"-I love you."

[melobin]

behind the mask ✧ anton lee

cw. mask kink, dom!anton x sub reader. no pronouns used but reader is female bodied, rough sex, hair pulling, recording, strength kink, manhandling, porn without plot. minors dni

wc. 2.5k

summary. in which the ghostface mask your boyfriend brought for an easy halloween costume becomes an accessory he wears to bed because he just feels so different in it.

an. thank you so much for 500 followers, i appreciate you all and i’m so glad you like my work🫶🏻

inspired by this tiktok

anton was shy, so sweet and so doting on you, always making sure you were okay and you had everything you needed for your day, but he was shy. no matter the situation he was in, he always found himself having the quietest voice in the room, always felt as if other people had more control over him because of how quiet and relaxed nature. whilst that may have not been the case for everyone, it was for you. you were the only person anton enjoyed giving that control to. he trusted you, enjoyed when you took care of him, in every sense. truthfully, he hadn’t had much experience taking control of you in a sexual manor, he tried but dominance didn’t seem to run in his veins. or so he thought.

with the situation anton found himself in, he was sure he had some form of imposter syndrome. had he really convinced himself that he couldn’t dominate you because he lacked experience with it? was he really doing it just because he was hiding behind a mask? well, it’s not as if you didn’t know it was him; in fact, you had encouraged the boy to wear the mask. so why did he feel so different? anton reminisced on the events of the night in hand as he looked down at your trembling body, he could get used to the sight of you laying on your stomach, hair a mess with his cum dripping out of you. yet, he wondered what flipped in him that caused him to treat you the way he did.

“anton?” you called out from your bedroom after hearing your front door, you knew it was him who had entered. he hummed as he walked into your room, a white plastic bag swayed in his hand. “did you have fun?” he nodded and sat on the edge of your bed, removing the jacket he had on. you shifted to kneel behind him, arms wrapping around him as your head rested on his shoulder.

“of course” he placed the bag down on the bed next to him and leaned back a little into your arms, fingers opening the bag and removing the contents. a mask? more specifically, a ghostface mask.

“what kind of cliche are you planning on dressing up as for halloween?” he laughed at your comment, releasing the mask from his hand once you reached down to take it.

“it was the best i could given the places we had go to, i’d take dressing up as a serial killer over some smurf costume that sohee hyung found” dispute his subtle diss toward his friend, his voice was still as sweet as ever. it had always been music to your ears, never once had you wished for him to change it.

“hmmm i don’t know, i think you’d fit right into the village as papa smurf” he rolled his eyes and smiled, fingers moving to trace patterns over the skin of your arm. “i think it’s hot though” his eyebrow perked up at your words.

“hot?”

“mhm, always see those girls on tiktok fawning over the idea of their boyfriends fucking them whilst wearing the ghostface mask” he gulped at your words, noticing the way your fingers curled a little over the mask.

“do you think about that?”

“i mean, i didn’t until you came home with one in your bag” anton paused momentarily, unsure of how to go about the thoughts that were brewing in his head.

“want to try?” the boy himself didn’t know what confidence had come over him, he had never gone into an intimate moment with you were he had planned to take control before hand. he heard your breathing grow a little heavier at his question, he turned his head to look at you, your eyes glazed over as you looked at him.

“do you?” he gulped, unable to stop his eyes from falling to your lips.

“i mean, im not opposed to trying everything once” you giggled at his response, free hand going to his hair to pull his head back a little before leaning down to kiss him. the kiss was messier than usual, your tongue entering his mouth immediately. it wasn’t something anton was used to going straight into, the tongues, the spit, the bitting on his lip. he could already feel how hard he was getting, but he knew he had to turn the situation around to favour him.

you moved around, climbing on to his lap so you could straddle him, mask in the hand that was hanging over his shoulder. the kiss didn’t break, not for at least another 30 seconds. the boy found himself easing more into it, fingers inching down and digging into the skin of your ass as the kiss deepened. he felt a hand sneak under his shirt, his following so he could rid himself of it. once the kiss broke, the two of you didn’t reconnect.

you looked at him, eyes wide, lips swollen. there was a glimmer of playfulness in your eyes, he could tell you were enjoying yourself with this.

“are you ready?” you giggled as you lifted the mask above his head, he couldn’t help but smile at you. it was cute, he hoped and prayed that he could fulfil the fantasy you were dreaming of.

“mhm” he hummed, still in a slight daze from the kiss you two had shared. you smiled slightly, bringing the mask down to pull it over his head. you moved to lay on the bed, anton stood up.

the sight in front of you left you weak as he stood tall, eyes travelling from the mask down to his toned body and then to the bulge in his jeans. your mouth watered, you could feel the slick dripping from your core as you eyed him. he was delicious.

anton could sense the change in your demeanour, the aura you were radiating changed into something weaker. you seemed quiet, withdrawn. submissive. it ignited something inside of him, an unfamiliar feeling. you just looked so sweet and helpless watching him, he felt powerful. he believed it was time to play into the character you wanted.

“you okay, love?” his soft voice sent shivers down your spine as he moved closer to you, fingers trailing over the bare skin of your legs, you thanked yourself for only being in his shirts and a pair of thin panties. “you seem a little frazzled” he sat on the edge of the bed and brought his hand higher, fingers resting on the skin of your thigh beneath your panties. you were frazzled, sure you’d seen the mask things before on twitter and such but having it in front of you, having your own boyfriend in front of you with one on made you dizzy.

his fingers skipped over your cunt, moving to push the skirt you were wearing up and removing it from your body. dropping it to the floor before standing back up to remove his jeans. he didn’t say much, his silence left you feeling nervous, no part of you could guess what was going on inside his pretty head at that moment.

the answer was nothing. nothing was going through his head, it was blank. he had nothing in his brain, you looked so pretty already braless and in just your panties for him. he took note of them, pretty, thin, red. his favourite colour on you, sure you had no idea he was going to come in with the mask and that you’d end up in this position but he couldn’t help but think you wanted him anyway tonight. it made his cock throb in the cool air of the room.

as he climbed between your legs, he sat back on his knees. his gaze focused on your panties and the way they seems to stick to your slick cunt. he brought two fingers forward and pressed against it, breathing hitching when he felt just how soaked you were through them. you were really into this, so aroused, so ready to take him. it inspired him more to play into what you wanted.

his hands grabbed at your lower legs, pulling you down the bed slightly before flipping you onto your stomach, you couldn’t stop the gasp that fell from you as his sudden action. you knew he had strength, you could visibly see it on him everytime he moved his arm in a certain way. it was something that always left you foaming at the mouth, only having dreamed of being on the receiving end of it before now. you felt as if you were gushing wetness at this point, that feeling was confirmed when you felt anton grab your hips to pull them up before hooking a finger over the band of your panties that covered your slit, pulling it out then letting it go so it hit you. you shivered.

he didn’t say much, in fact he didn’t say anything and that just built up your anticipation more. something about the silence aroused you, how he grabbed at your hips and pressed the front of your body against the mattress, all of it left your mind dizzy.

anton opted against removing your panties, thinking the red lace looked perfect against your ass. instead he slid them aside, bringing the fingers of his other hand up to run through your slit. soaked was an understatement. you were drenched, anton swore he had never felt you so wet before, never seen you so compliant to let him do whatever he wanted. he believed it was something he could get used to, he just had to find the confidence within himself to get into this position again.

you whimpered at his actions, “please, just need you” your words seemed slurred “need you to fuck me” never in his life had anton felt how he did in that moment, if it wasn’t for the hour long edging sessions you had put him through in the past he definitely would came, instantly. you sounded so broken without him even doing anything, so needy for his cock. if he wasn’t buried inside of you in the next 5 seconds he felt as if he would’ve gone insane.

so he done just that, wrapping his hand around his cock as his other hand still had your panties pushed aside. guiding himself into you felt like a treacherous act, the initial push of his tip inside of you had you gripping the bed sheets beneath you, eyes squeezing shut as his thick cock invaded your walls.

“anton..” your voice trailed off, it was all he took to push the rest of his cock inside of you. the stretch made you feel weak, legs already skating from the intensity of his thrust. he leaned forward and wrapped an arm around your waist, testing the waters by thrusting into you again, you whined at the feeling and it spurred him on to continue.

everything felt surreal to anton, from the way your panties dragged along his cock with each thrust, how you were squeezing his cock so tightly to the way you cried into the bedsheets when his cock hit a particular spot. neither of you had ever experienced something so intense together, sex had never seemed to feel this good before now. maybe this was how it was meant to be, you played face down ass up for your sweet, loving, strong boyfriend who fucked you from behind.

his cock reached depths you were sure he never had before, when he moved to kneel up he pressed his hand on your back, pressing down causing you to arch it a little more before he thrusted into you again. thrusts now harder that before. you couldn’t control yourself, you were a wreck. tears falling from your eyes, his name the only thing you could seem to remember. anton anton anton. it was your anton behind the mask who was fucking you into oblivion.

nothing could’ve made the intimacy hotter, nothing could’ve made the pit in your stomach grow more. or so you thought. that was until you felt his hand grab at your hair, he yanked you up, you gasped at the feeling, eyes going wide at the sudden light that appeared in front of you. he was recording you, the selfie camera showed the scene to your eyes, you almost broke down at the sight. you were a mess, eyes red, mascara under your eyes from the slight makeup you’d worn earlier in the day, anton on the other hand had you clenching around his cock. the mask moved a little either each thrust, his body damp from the sweat that was falling down him. everything about the sight of the two of you turned you on even more. you weren’t sure what to was about anton being mute through all of this, but it made it hotter.

he dropped his phone, still recording, once he felt your shaking more. he let go of your hair, your body falling into the mattress as his hand moved under your body to your clit. in the past you’d given him direct lessons to where the clit was and how to find it and it seemed they had paid one as his fingers attached themselves to it instantly and he began rubbing it in circles. you needed to cum. anton needed you to cum. there was no way he was going to do all of this only to cum before you, he wasn’t going to let that happen.

his attack on your clit done justice as you felt yourself begin to fall apart, you wanted to tell him you were cumming, wanted him to know that he had fucked you right into an orgasm but you physically couldn’t speak. everytime your mouth open a moan fell out, words getting caught in your throat, stuck there as he fucked you.

it hit you, hard. your legs shook under his grip, you bit down on the pillow under, your orgasm triggered his. he had been holding off for a while, the moment he felt you release after him he let it go. fucking you through it, long spurts of his cum shooting deep into you. any other day he would’ve panicked cumming inside of you but today he decided he wanted to, no, he needed to see his cum dripping out of you once he pulled out.

when he did pull his cock out he heard you whine, his eyes falling to where his cum began leaking down your leg. he almost grew hard again, but then he looked at you laying there, limp, eyes closed, hair a mess. he had to lay with you. h picked up his phone and stopped recording, throwing inside before laying with you, arms wrapping around you. your own hands lifted up to remove the mask from him. his face was flushed, eyes wide as he looked down at you, lips swollen and a little bloody, you realised he’d been biting them the whole time. not much was said, you placed your hand under his chin to beckon him down to kiss you and he did. it was soft, sweet, nothing like the boy who’d just fucked you. when the kiss brine you looked at him and laughed.

“we’re keeping the mask”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

tag list. @starrypen @austirecs @antinitonny @wonbons @nctxtrash @iridescentboba @annton-s @moons4yu @kpoprhia

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Little Darling

Epilogue

It's 1997, and Elvis is still alive and well. He quit music in 1972 after a successful world tour, and now he runs Presley Studios - teaching people karate across America. His daughter and grandchildren are regular visitors at Graceland, and when he’s in Memphis he likes to do a little teaching. His life is quieter now, though. Most of the Mafia have gone - going to live their own lives - and after his divorce from his second wife, Elvis is sworn off women for good. Will a Welsh girl with a wicked sense of humour be the one to make him break his promise to himself not to fall in love again?

Need to catch up? Go here.

Pairing: Old Man!Elvis x OC - Tegan, a Welsh girl he meets at karate.

Word count: 1.3K

TWs: Just a little dirty talk really.

A/N: Well, this is the end! Thanks to everyone who has interacted with this fic - it was a labour of love and I have cherished every single comment, reblog and message 💕

When Tegan wakes the next morning she feels the events of the night before in her body before she remembers them. As they start to come back to her, slowly at first and then more and more rapidly she feels a smile spreading across her face. She’d enjoyed last night. A lot. She rolls over to find Elvis already sat up in bed, reading. Groaning and stretching, she tries to wake herself up properly. It’d been really late when Jerry had finally left their bed for his own; they’d spent hours talking together about all sorts of things. 

“Mornin’ sunshine.”

Elvis closes the book and puts it down on the bedside table, looking at his girlfriend as she peers back through half-open eyes. 

“Mmmm. ‘Raur.”

“How ya feelin’?”

She closes one eye and squints at him through the other. “Thoroughly fucked.”

That earns her a belly laugh, one of her absolute favourite Elvis reactions. “Well that’s coz ya were, baby.”

She closes both eyes and puts her face in her hands, giggling. “I loved it,” she admits, still hiding. 

“Hmmm. Well it was a damn good Christmas gift, considerin’ ya didn’t even know Jerry was comin’ until the night before.”

She looks up, cautiously. “You think I’m a slut, for doing that? I only just met the guy…”

Elvis shakes his head, leaning down to kiss the top of hers. “Baby, I used ta fuck a different girl every night on some tours. Met ‘em, liked ‘em, made ‘em cum. Plus I know ya only jus’ met ‘im, but Jerry’s been my best friend fer years.”

Tegan thinks about this as she slowly sits up. “You ever do this with Stella?”

He blinks in surprise. “Uh… no.”

“Oh.”

“I uh… she wanted the picket fence life.”

She shifts to lean against him. “What kind of life do you want?”

“One with you in it, honey.”

She smiles against his pyjama top. “Me too.”

“But, uh, not one with Jerry… y’know…”

“I’m not sure I do know.”

Elvis sighs. “Yer makin’ me say it, again.”

“I mean, last night you told me you and Jerry used to take it in turns to fuck women you met on tour. And now you’re going all shy again?”

“I was a little drunk last night, darlin’.”

Tegan looks up at his face from her position with her head against his shoulder. “What’re you trying to say, ‘raur? Spit it out.”

Another deep sigh. “Last night was fun. But I don’t want Jerry as a permanent fixture in our bedroom.”

Tegan raises an eyebrow. 

“I don’t want him fuckin’ ya all the time!” Elvis snaps, exasperated. “Yer mine. I don’t mind if he borrows ya, under supervision… on special occasions y’know. But not…” he sighs again and waves a finger around in a circle. “This… ain’t a thing.”

Tegan smiles at his possessiveness. She feels like she ought to be offended by him talking about her like she’s a rare library book, but instead it makes her feel all warm inside. 

“I enjoyed last night a lot,” she begins, wrapping her arm around him. “I’m glad we did it. And if you and Jerry want to do it again before he leaves, then I’d be down. But I don’t want anything more than that. One boyfriend is enough.”

It’s Elvis’ turn to raise an eyebrow. “Ya wanna do it again?”

She giggles into his shoulder. “Mmm. Yeah.”

“Well, we’ll see about that, little girl…”

***

Elvis, Tegan and Jerry have fun together again more than once, but after Elvis’ massive New Year’s Eve party Jerry goes back to LA, and although they both miss him they’re glad to be back to just the two of them for a while. They get professional photos taken of the two of them with Coffi, and the best one - where they have forgotten the camera and are just staring into one another’s eyes, giggling over some shared joke or other - hangs with the other family shots on the wall in the living room of Graceland. They share their time between the mansion and the apartment, and despite Elvis’ best attempts to persuade her to give it up, Tegan continues working at the recording studio, though she drops down to three days a week as a compromise. She finally takes her grading seriously, and by the end of the year she’s a purple belt. Elvis is proud of her, but he still thinks she could practise more at home. 

He travels less for work now, feeling content staying in Memphis for months at a time. There are still times when he has to pay one of the studios on the other side of the country a visit, and Tegan can’t always take time off work to go with him. He misses her like crazy, but she’s secretly a little relieved to have time to herself, though of course she doesn’t tell him that. 

One day after a trip to Kansas, he presents her with a big box with a pink bow on the outside. 

“Jus’ somethin’ for ya for next time I’m away.”

Tegan’s mind boggles at the possibilities, but nothing she thinks of is what she eventually finds in the box. 

“It’s…a bear?”

“Squeeze ‘im.”

Tegan puts both hands around the middle of the teddy and squeezes.

“Daddy misses ya, Tegan bach.” The teddy bear says, in Elvis’ unmistakable drawl. 

Tegan squeals, then giggles, then squeezes it again to see if it does the same thing, which it does. 

“He’s from build-a-bear,” Elvis explains. “Got ‘im from the second store in the country. Ya make ‘im yerself, put a little heart in him…” he smiles, bashfully. “...an’ ya can record a little thing for ‘im ta say. Got them ta open the store in the middle of the night fer me so I didn’t get papped doin’ it.”

“Aww ‘raur!” Tegan throws an arm around Elvis’ neck, cuddling him close and holding the bear out to the side slightly to avoid squashing him. “He’s adorable. You’re adorable.”

“Glad ya like ‘im, honey.”

They pull apart and she looks down at the bear again. “He needs a name.”

Elvis’ arm slips around her waist and he presses his lips to her ear. “Why don’tcha call ‘im Elvis?”

Tegan pushes on his chest, laughing. “Don’t be filthy now! This is a nice, cute bear!”

“Me? Filthy? I don’t know whatcha mean, Queenie.”

He’s desperately trying to keep a straight face, but Tegan can see his eyes shining with amusement. 

“You’re giving me a bear to keep me company when you’re away, and you want me to name him Elvis?” Her eyebrow is raised and her hand is on her hip, but she’s struggling to keep from laughing, too. 

“Uh huh. Ya can cuddle up ta him in bed when I’m not there.”

“Right, right, yeah of course. That’s all you meant.”

“Sure.” His lip is quivering at this point, as he tries desperately not to grin. “I mean I wouldn’t want ta get between a girl an’ her bear, and whatever else she might wanna do with him when she’s missin’ me…”

“Elvis Presley.” Tegan uses her best school teacherish tone, but eventually the pressure of trying not to laugh gets to be too much and they both burst into peals of laughter. 

“What?!”

She hits him with the bear, inadvertently making the voice go off and their hysterics even worse. 

“Hey, you’ll hurt ‘im!”

“I’ll hurt you in a minute!”

They keep giggling as Elvis pulls her in close, pressing his forehead against hers. 

“Yer always makin’ me laugh, little darlin’,” he breathes. “‘M glad I came ta teach that karate class.”

“I’m glad too, ‘raur.”

“Don't know what I'd do without ya, Queenie.”

She smirks. “Well I can get you your own bear if you really want…”

***

Taglist:

@vintagepresley @arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @cattcb @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @ccab @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69 @ilovequeen978 @wildhorseinkansas @pocketfulofpresley @dkayfixates @iloveelvisss @kxnnxy

[yourlittlebunnyy]

the Assassin

eris x assassin!reader

main masterlist - eris masterlist

summary: You're the Night Court Assassin and you were ordered to kill Eris.

warnings: rhysand (yes you read right)

w/c: 2,5k

a/n: im so sorry this took so long but i had a breakdown and changed the whole plot🧘‍♀️

"Rhysand, I think it's a bad idea. We must not mix personal business with court business." His jaw twitches, his eyes burn into your skin.

"Sounds to me like you're the one doing it, is there any reason stopping you from killing Eris?"

The calm, controlled tone makes you want to slap him. He may be your High Lord, but he is just so stupid sometimes. You've been in his office for a good half hour trying to make him understand that Beron's heir is the only current ally you have in the Autumn Court, and that he cannot be swayed by events that happened five hundred years ago when Eris was still a child.

"Rhysand. I already told you, you cannot order me to kill your only ally. He may be an asshole, but he has always shown himself loyal." You raise your voice in annoyance, standing up with a snap, your hands resting on his desk. He seems to assess the situation, then offers you a charming smile, the kind he uses to convince people. It doesn't work with you; you know his techniques too well.

"It is your High Lord who commands you, not Rhysand." You roll your eyes and leave the room without saying a word. You've always hated it when he says that.

You love Rhysand, you love the Night Court and the Inner Circle, you really do. They are your family, and you would give your life for them, you would kill for them, but sometimes you feel like instead of brains they have salt. Of course you're going to try every possible way not to kill Eris, and you don't care much about lying to Rhysand. You seem to be the only one who understands that if it were ever discovered that it was the Night Court a war would begin, and that Beron's heir is the only chance they have of alliance with the Autumn Court. Without him there would be no relationship. Eris may be an asshole, but he is an educated male and he knows that it is not convenient for him to betray you in any way. So why is it you who have to betray him? You go toward your room and get ready. It will be harder than expected to fake Eris's death and you do not know if you will succeed.

A few hours later, after saying goodbye to everyone, you find yourself in a forest in the Autumn Court with a bag and nothing else. The autumnal air makes you shiver, and you wonder why you didn't bring a coat. You arrive at the nearest village and stay there until you have studied the male's movements thoroughly, then take action. Although you do not share the same opinion as Rhysand, you are glad to be back on the mission. It's been months since you took part in one, and you missed it, especially the part where you can get some time away from home without too many excuses.

You see little houses in the distance, and you sigh with relief. You just want a hot meal and a bed to rest; your plan can start tomorrow. You use the light hood to hide your face, but in all these centuries you have always managed to keep your identity a secret, no one knows who the Night Court Assassin is, they probably don't even know you are part of it.As soon as you rest your head on the pillow, your eyes close.

You inevitably find yourself in front of Beron's palace, hidden in the branches of the shrubs, and you stand still and watch. You hope Eris will come out soon, but you are not sure at this point-it is already late afternoon. You know he is forced out and cannot transmute directly inside his palace, so he has to be inside.

"Damn." You mutter under your breath, the air is getting cold again, and a shiver shakes your back. You weren't prepared for all this cold.

Footsteps from behind shake you out of your little misery, and you turn sharply to find yourself facing the Heir of the Autumn Court. Your breath catches in your throat. He looks at you with a sly grin on his face, and you want to beat him until he is disfigured, but he is your ally. Nonetheless, you clasp your hand over the small dagger given to you by Amren, filled with embedded rubies. "What do we have here?" He says moving closer and closer. You assume a fighting stance, making him laugh. His laughter runs through you in a shiver. It must be the cold, you think. "The Assassin of the Night Court. Rhysand sent you to kill me." His mask of coldness does not fade but you can see his eyes, for a brief moment, shine in a different, disappointed light. You gloss over how Eris knows your identity, leaving the subject for later.

"Yes. Rhysand sent me to kill you, but I will not take part in this." You put the dagger back in its case after realizing he will not harm you, under the his watchful gaze. His eyes squint slightly, his eyebrows arched. "Are you surprised?" You ask him chuckling. As much as you disagree with Rhysand's choice, you also know that from Eris it would be foolish not to expect such a thing. Your High Lord is an unpredictable male who is so incredibly full of himself that he thinks he can afford such strategic moves.

"Why?" He asks you harshly, his jaw clenched and his eyes unhappy. Maybe, given his reaction, he really did trust Rhysand.While you would like to explain your plan to him, at the same time you don't know if you can put your entire trust in him. Eventually your rational side prevails, and you decide to remain vague. You will not reveal the weaknesses of your Court, that is, Rhysand's stupidity, to -yes, an ally- but to a member of another Court. Especially since his father is still alive. "I do not know. I just follow orders."

"Liar." His mocking tone mixed with his smirk make you bring a hand back to the dagger, its presence under your fingertips a comforting chill. Yes, he's definitely an asshole, though.

"I'm not- you know what, forget it." You say as you roll your eyes. You move to get past him, but he grabs your wrist, blocking you before you can. You're so close that you feel his breath warm your face, and in a way you're grateful: you haven't felt your nose in a while now. His eyes settle on yours and you swear you can see flames burning inside.

"You don't go anywhere without first telling me what your intentions are." The tone is cold, so at odds with the warmth emanating from his body. You don't look away and keep your gaze on him, your chin high and proud. If he thinks he's intimidating you, he's a fool. You have certainly not been appointed the Assassin of the Night Court at random.

"I go where I please. When I please." You answer just as coldly, your jaw tight and your eyes bloodshot.

"Until proven otherwise you are in my Court, Assassin." Until proven otherwise you have enough evidence to have him sentenced to death for treason by his Court. But you decide to keep quiet. Your lips are clamped in a hard line, your body tense partly from the cold, partly because you are annoyed. When he realizes you won't give him the satisfaction of a pointless bickering, he lets go of your wrist and steps back. You almost want to complain about being denied his warmth, but you call yourself stupid for such a thought. Eris is a charming male, but you must remain professional. And he is an prick, you mentally remind yourself.

"And when your High Lord notices that you have not completed your assignment, what will he do to you?" The question leaves you speechless for moments. No, not his question, but his voice. His tone almost ... worried. You imagine it's because his body has deserted him from the adrenaline of the moment, and now questions must be filling his mind. It has happened before with your past victims, but there was never time to converse with them. You always killed them first, you realize.

"So?" He insists, but you don't honestly know what to answer. It never occurred to you to disregard orders. You have always killed anyone without much question, always indifferent. In the end, blood is blood, no matter whose. It will always be red and warm, won't it? You shrug your shoulders. Eris arches his eyebrows, his gaze studies your figure.

"I don't know. I never happen to object." You admit.

"Why do you oppose, then? Kill me." The tone is sarcastic, but it still leaves you stunned. There is some kind of internal struggle in your mind, something you don't understand. His questions strike deeper and you just don't understand why, since they are not that personal."No..." You whisper, and stand amazed at yourself. Your tone is feeble, like a wounded fawn. What the hell? You cough a couple of times, embarrassed. "I don't think it's appropriate. You're the only ally of the Autumn Court that my Court possesses. I can't kill you." Eris does not respond. You take a moment to observe him, not to observe his unmistakable beauty, but to observe just...him. The cuticles around his nails are reddened, the now-dried blood staining them red. One hand is so clenched around the sword at his side that his knuckles have turned white, his gaze is nervous, and you notice how he looks around as if expecting someone to jump out at any moment.

"Then leave, and don't come back. You have to say these things to your little friend, not to me." And while before it was really him who blocked you, now he seems the first to want to leave. You try to reach out a hand as he takes the first step, but he reacts badly to the contact: he pulls it away annoyed, his lips rippling in a disgusted grin. It shouldn't displease you, but it does."He won't listen to me, Eris." You hope he reads between the lines. Stay, we have so much to talk about. But he shakes his head, and leaves you alone in the middle of the now-darkened forest, the only thing you're left with is the distant sound of the leaves rattling when he steps on them.

The truth is that you have no plan. For the first time in your long life you admit to yourself that you have no idea how to proceed. This is exactly because you do not cover the role of Azriel: you are not capable of mixing strategy and plans and all these things at your job. You kill, kill, kill. That's the only thing you can do flawlessly. So now that you are faced with such a situation you are even scared.

You lie in bed for hours, the sun now clearing the sky, and you decide to get up. What would be the point of staying in bed and doing nothing?

You opt for a coffee at some old inn in the small village, hoping you'll wake up. And awaken some ideas with you. The only conclusion you have come to tonight is that you have little time. There are several possibilities, and all of them include having to act now to prevent them. Starting right with Eris. You have to seek him out and talk to him again, before he gets to Rhysand and before he kicks you out of his Court. At least there is no chance of him running to his father, you think relieved.

Four cups of pure caffeine later, you walk through the woods again, the usual cold breeze giving you goose bumps. You stand on a tree branch, your legs dangling and your back resting lazily against the trunk. The Autumn Court may be cold, but it is wonderful. The bright colors are able to cheer up your tattered mood from yesterday's night and meeting, and distract you from the cold. It is a different beauty from what you are used to: Velaris is boisterous, always full of life, and full of construction. As beautiful as it is, you think this is more so. It is calmer, more natural, more intimate. There are no big cities, but small self-sufficient villages, nature prevails over buildings.

You spend the whole day on the branch. You have lunch with an apple that you cut with your dagger, some cheese and bread. You have dinner with dried meat and a dessert you picked up at the inn this morning. You wait for Eris to return, or at least for there to be any movement at the palace. But nothing.

The radio silence lasts longer than necessary. At this point you think it's some kind of torture the redhead is subjecting you to. Every day you sit in your tree, eat apples and typical cheeses that you buy in the morning in the village, and do nothing. Eris never goes out. You begin to think there is another entrance that you are not aware of, and since you have nothing to do now, you decide to retrace the wall that protects the palace. You had already walked it on the first day, finding no other exits or open entrances, but you might as well try again.

The outcome, however, is the same: nothing at all. You are almost tempted to break in yourself and rush past the door to its rooms, but you hold back.When you return the next day, you already know how it will turn out. And as professional as you are in your work, you decide not to be today and take a break. You step away from your observation zone and wander among the enchanting places in the Autumn Court.

The break stretches longer than expected, but the forest seems to call your name every morning when you arrive at your tree. Something inside you urges you to keep going and going, keep wandering and exploring new places, and it never leaves you disappointed: each time you find breathtaking scenery, the mission forgotten and turned into more of a vacation than anything else. You know that sooner or later Rhysand will ask for updates, but it's not a problem you're asking yourself now, just as you're walking down a small path that looks like it hasn't been walked for long, curious where it will take you.

You've never gone this far before, and you're not quite sure where you are. The air is getting colder and wetter, chills run through your body, but you can't give up now, you're too curious where it leads. Hours later, having finished your humble dinner of bread and sausage, your feet beg for mercy, but you don't stop.The moon is high in the sky when you glimpse a small cottage in the distance. You would think it is uninhabited were it not for the smoke coming from the chimney. The closer you get, the more you catch a glimpse of its details. It is not as shabby as you thought, in fact, it looks lovely, and you almost plan to ask for shelter for the night. Your heart starts beating faster, and that little voice that first commanded you a week ago to explore the Court seems to scream and spur you on and on and on.

You listen to it, and when you arrive in front of the porch it doesn't stop. The wood creaks under your boots, your feet now frozen. You stretch your neck to see inside through the windows, but they are covered by curtains and the only thing you notice is a faint reddish light probably coming from the path. You rub your hands together, blowing on them. The little voice rises, come in, it says, come in, come in. And once again you listen to it. You reach out a hand to knock, but the door opens before your knuckles even touch the fine wood.

taglist: @imma-too-many-fandoms @zaozao @babypeapoddd

[kymsys]

(okay i was going about my day yesterday but i really couldn't get the merman au out of my head😭😭 i just imagine for a while somehow geto managed to sneak satoru into the palace and then it's a whole ordeal trying to hide him. panicked geto and oblivious gojo and really for all that image is stuck in my head i still have yet to write a proper interaction w them but!! it's not proofread so sorry if there are mistakes and it's a bit scattered but i had to get this one scene out that was brewing in my mind so🥺 ignore this if you want❗️❗️)

--

From the mezzanine, everyone looked like ants. Suguru had to squint to make out familiar faces in the crowd, and even then, the only person he could identify was a distant aunt of his that he had never really liked. Usually, he'd have been able to pick apart anyone of significance; he'd have known their name, their title, their interests. 

Suguru would've known, he always memorises the details before public events — he spends days in his room at a time, talking into the mirror and telling his reflection things about these people who he has never met. Perhaps, lately, he'd been busy with Satoru.

Suguru smiled. He didn't feel as guilty as he thought he would.

A hand clapped on his back, and he jolted. Shoko beside him, cocking a brow. “What's got you looking like a dumbass?” Her voice was flat, eyes busy scanning the crowd and Suguru knew who she was looking for.

He cleared his throat. He couldn't really tell her that he was keeping a siren in the little pond in his private garden — well, it wasn't exactly little, but that information held no relevance anyway. Shoko was his dear friend, and he knew she would always support him, but he had to keep Satoru a secret, more for her sake. Suguru bit his lip in thought. If only Satoru didn't have such a strong taste for human flesh.

“Is meat more nutritious than fish?”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” Suguru winced at the look he was being sent. He didn't mean to blurt the question out, but he'd been thinking about it for days. The salmon that he'd been feeding Satoru probably wasn't enough to sustain a creature his size — especially when he was so active — which would mean he burnt through a lot of calories very quickly. “Utahime is on the balcony,” Suguru pointed in the general direction, giving Shoko a pat on the shoulder, “good luck.”

From his peripheral vision, he could see Shoko roll her eyes as he walked away, but she muttered a small 'thanks' before she turned to find the other woman. He was glad she finally had someone to open up to other than him — he saw how happy Shoko was with Utahime, and with the burden of inheriting the throne giving her sleepless nights, it was all Suguru could want for his closest friend.

He turned his attention back to the winding flight of stairs before him. Now, to find some meat.

KINGGGGGGGGGGGG (can i call you like that??)!!!! ♥ GAHHH IM SO HONOURED AND HAPPY, you actually wrote MORE??? bless you, this is truely amazing, this has me by my throat. thank you so fucking much, i love it!! <3 WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER IGNORE THIS, are u out of your mind. i LOVEEEE the way suguru keeps thinking about his little "pet" gojo and what would probably be the best food for him! like indeed he is a massive creature, he will probably need...a lot?? but also at the same time i can imagine that he is maybe not that....needy. isnt that a thing with lots of sharks or deep sea fish that they eat very little, just because its so hard to get by food? so their organism is evolved to survive on very little food and thrive nonetheless. MAYBE suguru just thinks gojo is in need of lots of food, but actually gojo just likes to eat bc he enjoys the food, but doesnt neccessarily need it?(he is also a mystical creature, so in that sense anything is possible really xD) I ALSO LOVE HOW SUGURU JUST RANDOMLY ASKS SHOKO ABOUT NUTRITIONS AND SHOKO IS JUST LIKE WHAT, i adore that ; u ; <3 AND OMG gojo lives in a pond in his private garden??? HOW CUTE!! so that makes me wonder (pls indulge with me) why would he bring this technically "monster" into his home? generally i would think maybe that a creature like that needs its space and would need their freedom? so MAYBEEEEE smth has happened? maybe gojo got hurt, maybe even when he was caught in the fishernet situation? MAYBE suguru needs to take care of him until he gets better and maybe gojo, the curious creepy creature that he is, enjoys the change of environment and the new feeling of being cared for?? its exciting for both! what do you think ?? 👉👈 maybe you had a different idea?? im so excited to hear your thoughts!! AND AGAIN THANK YOU, i love it SO much, i feel so lucky that you actually like it so much that you wanna write about it T___T ♥

EVERYONE LOOK !!!!!!!!

[crguang]

glad 2 see you are also not a topaz enjoyer, idk why she's so popular but i firmly cannot like her ass

i personally don’t find topaz interesting, i don’t think her character has any depth to it worth mentioning. she’s in the same tier as skott to me just bc she has no life or personality outside of the IPC and the only words that come out of her mouth are “market” “profit” “job” “numby” and “IPC” like oh my god we get it. i know they “saved” her planet from ruin and she’s grateful for that, that she was likely groomed into her role as well but that doesn’t stop her from perpetuating their toxic mindset and personally im just sick of it. any character that is IPC affiliated is getting a side eye for me except for aventurine because he actually wants to leave that evil corporation so he’s ok. at least jade has intrigue around her character outside of her job, and a hobby. something that topaz desperately needs.

i don’t find the IPC as a corporation interesting at all. they’re just evil capitalists and i think they should be eradicated, i dont see anything remotely interesting about that tbh like there are enough to go around irl. i also believe that you have to be a little evil to have such a high position in that corporation so i don’t believe the people who tell me that topaz is a good person just because she helped belobog once, cause right after that she called them servants for accepting the help of the astral express twice (while she wanted them to accept the help of the ipc??😭) then admitted that the ipc only cared about profits so… shes not dumb, she knows the basis of capitalism is exploitation and shes good with that. again, morality is not something that will determine whether i hate a character or not but topaz is not a fleshed out character at all, there’s nothing to her but her sob story about her home planet. if i want an evil, intelligent woman im not going for topaz, jade is right there. if i want someone who’s always ten steps ahead kafka is right there. if i want an analytical mind, there’s ruan mei and herta. like what exactly is topaz supposed to do for me when these characters all have unique personalities and lore. granted, we dont know much about jade (yet) but her abilities and collected personality already makes her more interesting to me

i felt insane playing the wardance and having that pile of junk with a camera for a head reprimand luka for his distrust and “prejudice” against the IPC — they treated his life and all of belobog like stock market numbers?!?! then he always had to concede to the others’ points like i was going crazy. then the scrap metal goes around calling MY BEST FRIEND boothill a dangerous savage oh i was mad, the IPC glazing and propaganda in that event pissed me off. luka getting an ipc sponsored mechanical arm just like igor did when the whole point was that igor had to sell his body parts to please rich egocentric snobs just for the hope that they would care about something other than themselves. he made himself a merchandise to save his planet and failed. i hate that the luka situation was portrayed as beneficial for both parties so there was no harm done and topaz was just helping him. that’s the thing that makes me feel crazy about hsr, they will show us every instance of the IPC being evil, greedy and cold then will turn around and try to make them likeable because some playable characters are IPC. i feel insane.

i also don’t like her design, imo it’s very basic for a 5* character. i remember playing the belobog quest and being surprised that she was a five star character because i found her so boring 😭 they didn’t even try like, man whatever. she’s not cute to me. she’s the only character in the game that i can rant about hating like that’s crazy. i hate ratio but i wouldn’t type an essay on him, ive had to argue about topaz too many times to be chill about her. and jadepaz also contributes to me hating her. what those ship brained gays did to jade after her release is criminal nobody cared about her on her own i felt crazy. i went through that with black swan already, no more. i need topaz deleted off the game

sorry sev

[tinkonka]

hellooo!! im kind of new?? to ur blog (i came from ao3 ehxhbrfj) and i was wondering abt what ur top three ships are?? and uhhh what u personally like most about their dynamic orrr what u’d like to see in future events regarding them? thank you!!

UAHH HELLO!! THANK YOU FOR READING MY STUFF ON AO3 <:)) I so happy

okay. get ready for it baebyyy. gonna go 3rd most fave to 1st fave. Guess the #1 fave (Impossible)

3. Akian

im going to be Honest and Admit that i only started shipping it out of spite but as i got more into the game and more into vbs i like. Really fucking appreciate it. Very much. i WILL SAY THOUGH I honestly don't mind consuming it on a platonic context either i JUST REALLY LIKE THE TWO OF THEM

I really appreciate the subtle shows of their care for eachother, akito noticing that something is off with her, an going Specifically TO akito and miku in. in wtwg i believe (i could be remembering this wrong) and in turn an, although she does like to tease him a lot, believes in his ability to contribute to the team and. IDK. THEY CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER!!! THERE IS SO MUCH. LOVE. in their hearts. An made him a cheesecake for his birthday. akito notices she looks tired lately and tells her not to push it. i want to complain about people boiling their relationship down to .. wlw mlm hostility and completely removing any notion that they like eachother . BUT THIS IS A POST ABOUT APPRECAITION SO IWONT TALK ABOUT IT.

even just. like. Vocal wise. their voices go so so well together. Traffic jam is one of my favorite vbs covers. i love the akian rap in it. I love their dynamic . I don't really have. MUCH ? i want down the line. (I do keep up w vbs but theyre not my favorite) so i kinda just enjoy them hwenever theyre on screen

2. Mizumafu

Its such a travesty that i have not written them yet but they are the dynamic i go batshit insane over. The Parallels. the. The Difference in. In how they mask. Their hearts. Their kindness. Its so similar. to eachother. mafuyus little "i havent seen you in a while... im glad" with her little smile. Mizuki saying that it'd just be the four of them at scramble fan festa so mafuyu wouldnt have to mask the entire time i fucking LOVE them

even like on a surface level theyre so freaking cute. girl whos like :D and guy whos like o_o (I love it when they transmasc mafuyu its wonderful) I just love them so terribly. I need them to hug i need them. to kiss eachother maybe.

In terms of what i wantfor them down the line... i'd love to see a sort of thing after ena5 maybe where. Mizukis not been to school in a WHILE and has a lot of stuff to catch up on so mafuyu sits with her and helps her. and mizukis like. kind of low energy but mafuyu doenst question it, just lets her sit there, just helps her with the equations a bit. mafuyu chan. I love them

Ruinene

Go on guys act surprised

GOD WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. WITH THEM? I think i actually started liking them a while ago by proxy because i had a Friend who liked it.. i dont remember much but it was jun22 (july?) that i got into pjsk and right off the bat i really liked them. and then i got more into it and i liked them even more.

Their dynamic... i've always been a sucker for. "i'd die for you" x "Please live for me" . i love it terribly. I LOVE HOW INTRICATE IT IS i could go on forever about it. actually i am going to. sorry buckle the fuck up

I feel like ... i feel like a lot of Nene's attitude. toward everyone near the beginning of the wxs story. And toward herself really. It's just a big. Culmination of self hatred. She hates herself because she can't even talk to anyone without shaking, can't go on stage, lets people down... and she's bitter toward Rui because she hated that she couldn't do anything about their relationship. Letting people down.

i wanna draw attention to the way she talks about him near the beginning vs after her talk with tsukasa:

Do you see the difference? "he just has to try it out. people avoid him. heres the things hes done" vs "he gets absorbed in his work, and he's alone but i dont think he wants that". One is pointed, the other is sympathetic.

DO I THINK NENE HATES RUI. NO. But that's the thing with her. Her self hatred. she projects it onto others. Like in smile of a dreamer when she snapped at Tsukasa. And rui knows this behavior because he's immediately like "oh you must be worried about emu". because she didnt know what to do.

But then they grow together, and nenes attitude toward herself becomes kinder, and gradually her problems can be shared with them and it all just. becomes better. They Grow. And that's what i love about them. Rui "i've never seen nene shine like that before" kamishiro. Nene "i like your shows" kusanagi. I just i love them so much.

Ruinene i also consume both platonically and romantically but with like. a veer toward romantic. the way i write them is like if theyre dating but i rarely ever establish that fact (like i'll never have them outright say it) unless i'm writing with Explicit Polysho. I jjust. I love them so bad. I write the most for them i. draw the most for them. I love them.

in terms of what i want for future events WELL NENE5 IS LITERALLY RIIIIGHT AROUND THE CORNER and i i OUGH i do want rui to give a little help to her. i want rui to be there for her again. maybe a bit more forward this time because nene might go "oh i should handle this by mself" when shes in need ofhelp. Lalala. God save us all

AND I THINK THATS IT. HTNAK YOU FOR THE ASK>!!! I ENJOYED TALKING

[formula-fun]

hi there, let me walk you throught the last few days of my life

saw a list of history recommendations here on tumblr last Friday, saw the series if I had words there and thought "well let's give it a shot!"

started reading Friday night, got obsessed with it, couldn't stop, finished max's part Sunday, a little after the race.

got sad it ended and then VERY happy when I remember about the other part!!

started reading Sunday afternoon, got obsessed with it, couldn't stop, finished charles' part five minutes ago

All of this to day, I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WORK 😭😭😭

like WTH IS SOO GOOD

the construction, the order of the events, seeing everything fall into place after reading both parts, max learning to grow older and softer, charles understanding his feelings and letting himself have nice things, their mom's, the packs, the I love yous, oh my GOD 😭😭

broke my heart when I reached the end because I could keep read more and more and more of those two maybe forever??

definitely interest in a sequel or spin off or any little crumb showing just a peek of them again

again, amazing work, absolutely brilliant all around (and I was always laughing at your notes hahaha)

sending love !!

😭😭😭😭😭😭 thank youuuuuu i literally cannot tell you how much i love this, hhh. I DO NOT HAVE WORDS

this fic is truly my child, i put so much time and attention into it and i love the way it turned out so much <33 ive never allowed myself to just take my time on something and keep scrapping it over and over until it was exactly how i wanted it, but i'm so glad i did! it makes me really happy that other people appreciate the care that went into it and appreciate the way everything falls into place. i promise it was HEADACHE inducing at times to write two different stories about the same event but it was also really really fun

and thank you abt notes ahhahsahs i do NOT put as much effort into my notes. i usually write my notes at the last second after editing for like 3 hrs straight and just roll on vibes, so im glad you enjoy that <33

dfkjdfksd i'm running low on crumbs but you can have this!! it's from a version of the final chapter in which jos DID tell the press about the miscarriage

Max wakes him up with a kiss at the base of his neck, and then one on his mouth that lingers sweetly. His hands are hesitant on Charles’ waist, his touch light and skittish, which Charles always hates. Charles tells him so, and Max lets out a husky laugh.

“You want more?” he asks, his tone still hesitant even when his eyes are dancing. It makes Charles roll his own eyes, and then roll him; pin him down into the mattress by his wrists and bite at his jaw.

“I want you to touch me like you mean it,” he mutters into his skin.

Max’s wrists flex beneath his grip, muscles coiled and ready to fight. His mouth is curved when Charles kisses it, but he bites Charles’ lip anyway.

“Mean what?” Max whispers against his mouth when they part.

That I’m yours, Charles thinks, but he doesn’t say it. He can’t say it. He can’t really admit to something like that, yet; can’t allow himself to, even if he already knows it’s halfway true. He wants to mean it when he says it, and Max—Max hasn’t chosen him yet.

“That you want me,” Charles says instead. He brushes his nose against Max’s jawline; against his pulse point; follows the line of his throat down to the spot where his mark would go and lets his breath dance over it. Max’s chest goes stone still beneath his own.

Charles ducks forward and brushes a chaste kiss there, as softly as he can. Max shivers beneath him, his eyelids fluttering shut. His tendons shift under Charles’ palms as his hands clench into loose fists.

“Do you—”

In a blink they’re rolling over, Max pressing him down, one hand at the small of his back and the other beneath his knee. Max kisses him hard.

“Like I couldn’t,” Max hisses against his mouth when they part. “What kind of question is that?”

Charles just quirks an eyebrow. “Show me,” he says simply.

For a while, he’s able to forget about it all.

Of course it only lasts as long for it takes the two of them to shower, get dressed and part ways; as soon as he arrives in the paddock he’s swarmed. It’s not the fans—they’re not allowed back here today—or even that people are yelling questions. People know not to try; not when paddock passes can get revoked and fines can be given.

They don’t do anything so stupid, but it doesn’t matter. The scrutiny is just as bad; two dozen cameras following his every move as if waiting for him to do something.

He breathes a sigh of relief as he ducks into the Ferrari hospitality. Andrea slips in after him, and he’s kind enough not to say anything about the way Charles is morosely stuffing biscuits from the coffee bar into his mouth.

“I called your pack off,” he tells Charles, making himself an espresso. He almost manages to look disinterested while he does it.

Charles just raises his eyebrows. “Did you?”

“Well, Pierre did. They didn’t really listen to me.” He dumps two sugars into his coffee, stirring a little aggressively, and then rolls his eyes at the look Charles is giving him. “Oh, leave me alone. It’s been a stressful morning. How are you doing?”

Charles shrugs. “We knew this was going to happen,” he points out.

“Yeah, I know. That wasn’t really my question.”

“I’m,” Charles starts, then looks down at his biscuit; the crescent bite taken out of it. “It’s fine. I don’t think it has fully hit me yet.”

Andrea purses his lips. He nods. “Fred said they’re not allowed to ask any questions about it in the presser. You’re with Pierre, Alex, Oscar and George, so even if someone tries something, you won’t be alone. It was the best we could do.”

“Max?” Charles asks, in spite of himself.

Andrea’s lips somehow purse even harder. “The FIA was strongly advised to give him a week off.”

“But not me.”

“You wouldn’t want a week off.”

Charles hums. That’s true.

“Besides,” Andrea adds in an undertone, “I know you will want to set an example that this is not to be discussed in the paddock. It’s not Fred’s decision, obviously, but…”

“But you don’t trust Max to be able to do the same,” Charles finishes for him.

“I trust him,” Andrea argues. “I trust him to say what we’re all thinking, which is that this is stupid and everyone should fuck off. I just also know that will only make things worse.”

Charles tilts his head, conceding the point. He breaks a crumb off his biscuit; pushes it past his lips.

“Is he alright?” Andrea asks after a beat, his voice quiet. “After last night?”

Andrea had been the one to check on them when they hadn’t reemerged from the bedroom suite, only to find them curled up on the bed, Max having finally passed out. Charles had kissed his forehead before slipping out to join the media strategy session; had pulled the duvet over him as he went. He’d called room service after everyone had finally left, coaxing Max into eating comfort food in bed with him, some meaningless travel show playing in the background, giving Max’s red-rimmed eyes somewhere to drift when they refused to meet Charles’ own.

“He’s fine,” Charles mutters, then scrubs at his hair. “Or he will be fine. I don’t know. He has this stupid idea that he has to be the strong one all the time. He doesn’t feel like he should need me when I am the one who everyone is talking about, and when he thinks it is all his fault.”

“Why does he think that?” Andrea asks.

“Because Jos was the only one who could have told them. Nobody else knew. And Max was the one who told Jos.”

Andrea chews that over, sipping his coffee.

“I don’t know why it matters,” Charles adds. “It is out now. It doesn’t matter how it got out.”

“You could always sue Jos,” Andrea muses. “Defamation or whatever.”

“It’s not worth it.”

“Isn’t it?”

Charles shrugs. Maybe it would give him some sense of satisfaction; probably not. “It would just give the media more to talk about,” he says. “It would make Max feel worse. I would gain nothing. It was going to come out eventually anyway,” he adds. “It was always a matter of time, wasn’t it?”

Andrea grimaces. “It’s hard to say,” he admits, “but these things tend to not stay secrets for long.”

[yahoodarling]

Gn Self Aware reader, no blatant 'yandere' themes developed yet. About 700 words.

Figured id post this, an unfinished set up of a fic i started and didnt finish. Reread it and im considering picking it back up since the concept is interesting.

Self aware reader determined not to change the events of Inazumas 'plot' finds themself in a little problem. Such problem being that this is a yandereAyato (and or Thoma) fic.

It's disgusting. It is discomfort incarnate to have such foresight into the fate of the world and yet be bound to its own laws of destiny, especially when what you were sure was to take place is altered. You no longer have any ground of understanding except the uncanny feeling that things are not as they should be, to be so similar and yet be so changed. You knew things will end up alright, as long as you do not interfere then Inazumas political warfare will reach a peaceful end and it did. You watched, noted those ‘special’ to the world, those who have a story, a life, a reason and you took the responsibility of not getting involved and it worked. You became an npc, avoided any confrontation with those deemed ‘special’, avoided any influence in the ‘plot’, watched as a hero came, a nation saved and a people newly united. It worked. Your foresight was correct yet… things changed. With no base to rely on, how were you to know what the ‘future’ must be, how were you to know what to avoid, who to avoid and what minor choice may change a future?

The hero has left, gone to Sumeru you guess, no, you know, you know the hero leaves for a new nation but so has your foresight and with that comes the change.

The one day gathering supplies, one day speaking to a fellow npc to fill some sort of social need, one day being in the ‘dark’ and you've caused a spark.

“Oh Aoi, good morning to you!”

He didn't speak to you, it was directed to the npc shopkeep you were chatting with and yet it grabbed your attention. Thoma is ‘special’, Thoma is relevant and so he must be avoided and you failed. 

Thoma spoke of how lovely the nights have been, of the soft whistles of sea, even to npcs Thoma was a gentleman starting conversation. He then turned to you with a smile,

"A good day to you as well! Im Thoma."

He commented on how ‘unique’ your eyes are, a depth to them hes never seen before. That comment frightened you, made you rush to leave, to stop the change. Quickly you felt a hand on your shoulder,

“Please excuse my rudeness but how about we have a stroll? I know its unfair of me to ask a stranger such a thing but… you remind me of a home away from home, if you would grant me such a pleasure that is.” he ended with a chuckle.

You have been so realistic up to this point, so good at avoiding ‘change’ but you have a heart and knew all too well that whatever feeling Thoma is experiencing is something important to him. You have a heart and so you accept. The main 'issue' of Inazuma is resolved, there is nothing else to truly be afraid of changing right? One time, only one time.

A single light hearted stroll became a weekly meet at the shop front, ‘coincidentally’, which became a personal relationship which became a friend. It's alright though, Thomas is a social guy, he's close with many npcs who never impacted the ‘plot’, you can be one such npc, that's fine. Change is fine. 

It's not fine. Meeting with Thoma you eventually met with other ‘special’ individuals you knew by name before they even knew of your existence. It's a weird feeling to know a person before getting to meet them, all the private details, their worries, their joys and yet forced to remain oblivious to it.

“A formal greeting from the Kamisato Clan, I am glad to see Thoma has a new friend. Do treat him well, sadly I must make short of this meet.” and the man who is most likely the most influential to whatever ‘plot’ is to come of Inazuma greeted. Kamisato Ayato was amongst your top ‘DO NOT ENGAGE’ list other than the archon herself and yet somehow naive bliss and a VERY convincing plea(almost suspiciously good) from Thoma to have lunch by the beaches near the residence of the Kamisato Clan lead you right into his ‘life’.

You have no ‘life’, you are meant to have no ‘life’, no value or effect and yet by each interaction with those deemed ‘special’ by the world your plans crumble.

["Your tears remind me of the rain, both comforting and disturbing. How i cringe at each drop yet yern to hear them patter against me. My dear please do remember for each storm or drizzle you bring to me i will open my arms for which ever embrace you bring."- shit i was going to add once i built up to it but seems i lost interest before i got to that.]

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

WOOHOO HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(loving these snippets with protective/possessive eddie! He’s defending his own!!)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(that last chapter was phenomenal and im loving the pining and tension!)

🌊🌊🌊🌊(finding each other in every universe!)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮(another cal story with inexplicable yet character developing magic? With bobby in the mix this time? Sign me up!)

Please accept compliments in exchange for the high writing demands I place on you - You’re wonderful! So talented! Your work brings me such joy! Thanks for sharing!

HI!!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR KIND WORDS YOU ARE SO LOVELY ANON!

27 for ⚡️ (Hehehehe yes Eddie fight my battles for me plz):

---

“You’re a father,” Phillip tries. “You can sympathize with your child cutting you off without cause. It’s a horrible feeling!”

“Don’t bring my son into this,” Eddie warns. “And I take issue with without cause.” 

“Eddie?” Buck’s voice calls out across the backyard. “What’s going on?”

Fuck. 

Eddie turns to see Buck striding across the yard to where the three of them are… Well, arguing isn’t the right word. But talking is also incorrect. 

“Evan,” Margaret turns to her son. “We were just getting to know Eddie a bit better.”

Eddie makes a face that expresses how blatantly untrue this claim is.

Buck narrows his eyes. He stops a few feet short of the three of them.

“I told Maddie I wouldn’t cause any problems,” Buck says. “Please don’t make a liar out of me at her wedding.”

“We’re just trying to open a dialogue,” Phillip says. 

Eddie finds it interesting how little they wanted him when he was willing to try. How bothered they are now. Now that it’s a big social event with lots of people to see how their child ignores them. This is pride, more than anything. Eddie knows about parents and pride. 

Buck sighs. “If I give you ten minutes, will you leave us be for the remainder of the wedding?”

---

15 for 🚨(THANK YOU!):

---

As he leaves the bedroom, he bumps into Eddie, who had evidently been coming to knock. Buck feels a pang of embarrassment.

“Uh, hey, good morning,” he stammers. “How are you? Feeling okay?”

Eddie nods. He looks worn down still. Like the weight of last night is still resting on him. Buck is afraid for him. Nearly dying takes a toll. No matter what you do, it takes a toll. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Eddie says. “I saw that you replied to Liliana. Are you still good to pick him up? I have an appointment at eleven thirty.”

---

12 for 🌊(hell yeah they do!):

---

They don’t get a lot of warning about the impending storm. Enough, though, that Shannon is able to come get Chris and bring him to her apartment until the worst of it is over. Schools will be closed anyway. Despite Shannon’s insistence that Eddie is welcome and encouraged to stay with her, too, he doesn’t go. The city will be needing its paramedics.

And besides, Buck is a lot closer to the water than him. Someone has to be here looking out for him, too. 

Even if he won’t answer Eddie’s calls or texts. 

Eddie has tried. In the week since Buck ran out of his house, Eddie has tried. It took him twelve hours to realize how idiotic he’d been in letting him leave. Another twelve to reach out.

---

12 for 🔮(ahhh yay thank you! I'm glad you're excited!)

---

“I know Gerrard isn’t easy to work under,” Bobby says.

“Do you?” Buck asks, mirth in his tone. 

“I know what Hen and Chim told me about before,” Bobby amends. If he’s reading Buck’s tone correctly, then he’s right. Bobby doesn’t know. “And I know a little of what Eddie and Chim have shared with me now.”

Buck scowls. “Hen should be captain. You should be Captain, but if not you, then Hen.”

Bobby’s face falls. He’s acutely aware of how he failed Hen in this.

[pub-lius]

I just wanna say, DUDE. The majority of what I know about amrev comes from your blog. Your in-depth posts literally have me FOAMING AT THE MOUTHH I don't have much time to read longer books due to school but I wanna feed my obsession so do you have any books on the shorter side or some websites/archives I can research/read a bit quicker? If not it's totally fine.

Also off topic but I'm loving "It Began About Dusk" on AO3 <3

OH MY GOD THE FLATTERY‼️‼️‼️ you’re making me blush here anon. im so glad that you find my posts helpful!!! AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY FICS i have a chapter of it began about dusk in the drafts rn so you’ll get more content soon

now this is a tricky question because im absolutely insane and ive barely ever read short books. right now im reading His Excellency by Joseph J Ellis and i recommend it!! its only around 2-300 pages which is the shortest history book ive got VSJWBW primary sources can be really good to get in book form, things like Common Sense by Thomas Paine, Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior (Washington’s rule book), and Memoir of Lieut. Col. Tench Tilghman, Secretary and aid to Washington are all primary sources i have on my shelf that are short and sweet.

i also have Hercules Mulligan by Micheal J. Obrien which i haven’t read but is VERY small. there is also James Monroe by Gary Hart which is short but i have not finished (i dont even truly remember reading it but i annotated part of it apparently), The Drillmaster of Valley Forge by Paul Lockhart is a little longer than those others, but still isn’t chernow levels of wrong, but i also haven’t read that one. Thomas Jefferson and the Tripoli Pirates by Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger isn’t the most serious history book, but it is pretty good and an easy read.

as for secondary source websites, start with encyclopedias ie Britannica, which post short articles on different historical figures and events that give you the overview. from there im gonna point you to the National Park Service. this is the best thing the US government has ever made for researchers. this is all your battlefields, winter encampments, historical reproductions, and former capitals. also check out private residences turned museums, such as Mount Vernon, Monticello, and Schuyler Mansion. these institutions have an abundance of easily accessible information on more than just the people who lived there.

now the Library of Congress was a good decision on Jefferson’s part, but it can be inaccessible if you don’t know how to use it well because their website is one of my least favorite things about being alive. so instead, i recommend using Founders Online for any primary source regarding the founding fathers or amrev figures. the Washington Papers are filled to the brim with almost everything that went out of headquarters during all 8 years of the war. founders online is the shit

all of these websites i’ve mentioned are free to access, because i do not pay money on any research tools besides books out of spite for late stage capitalism. also any primary source is 100% accessible online. that includes memoirs and court transcripts, which can be very helpful

also i really do recommend watching documentaries and informational videos on the subjects you’re interested in while doing work or other things if you’re someone who does that (ik some people don’t have background noise but im just assuming you’re as neurodivergent as i am) because you can absorb just a little of that information and it being about a subject of interest can make academics seem a little less miserable!

i hope this is helpful and if you have absolutely any further questions, feel free to ask. i know im very privileged to have the time and resources to read long ass books, which is why i very freely share the information i absorb with the public bc i believe education should never be gatekept by anyone. so if you have any questions, im happy to research them for you, or at least point you in the right direction. love ya!!

[ludinusdaleth]

Heya! Discovered-that-I-get-really-turned-on-by-fat-body-love-because-of-this anon. Don’t feel bad about that nickel at all, this is honestly really lovely

I’m also trans and now 2 months on T and I can literally already feel my body monologue going from “feeling icky about weight gain” to “but actually that would be kinda sexy though”. I’m not fat, but…would that be so bad?

As a small thanks may I offer…

If she hadn’t been there for apocalypse level events, I think the Everlight would have really enjoyed growing fat. Really enjoyed the aspect of mortality that is being embodied, but more than that, would have really enjoyed sharing in food, this central love language, with her mortal loved ones. She is the paragon of hugs, let her have some weight on her.

(Sidenote: chubby pike is canon, as is Scanlan gaining weight, and I love that for them 💜 . But. Genuinely fat Pike has my heart. Like femme muscle chub not-so-little monstah? Hell yeah)

Likewise, in the opposite direction, fat Asmodeus? Asmodeus who wants to take up all the space, who revels in being something some people are disgusted by and indulging instead.

Hell, the arch heart growing fat and seeing their body as an art form. Beauty doesn’t have to be thin; beauty can be round arms and artfully posing your fat rolls and having more room for tattoos.

The wild mother being fat in times of bounty and comfort, and preferring it to being bony or lithe, because she feels safer this way, gentler this way, more physically comfortable with some padding.

Fat Gods 💜

aah! love these

ive always felt every character of ashleys radiated chubby energy. the everlight is no exception. probably due to my own journey, but i cant untangle redemption & positive change from gaining weight. it's inherent comfort. it seems pike saw that too.

i am always invested in fat devils, because debauchery is literally part of their territory. i headcanon teven as a massive musclebear, so why not asmodeus? he no doubt shifts his body constantly - if everyone sees him differently, may as well make a show of it. he grins when he notices someone blush at this form, knowing their interests immediately.

i live and breathe the fat elf agenda, so i love an elf god being big. i really love cr has broken elven stereotypes constantly - corellon as THE elf progenitor played by a black man, many of the elves/fae having facial hair, and we even know a few who are fat! what makes an elf isnt some proximity to whiteness/thinness but rather how stunning they look, how strikingly beautiful that a human needs a moment to process it.

i dont know if you know anon, as your phrasing implies it's headcanon, but your idea for melora is exactly canon! her presentation as asha was pale & sickly like the burned world, but we know now in this age of exandria, at least pre-calamity 2, she has the round & fertile figure of a true wildmother. the land has grown bountiful & lush and so she has too. heres art of her right now!

im honored you find this foray into fat headcanons lovely. and im glad you're becoming comfortable with the idea of it. when i first looked for trans resources a decade ago i was bombarded with nothing but tips for "keeping weight off" and being a gym bro, and seeing others also see they could get bearish and accept it in this day and age is heavenly. not everyone has to engage with it but just being able to deconstruct the fatphobia so present within our spaces is worthy in itself.

[plusreaderswhenever]

Hi! I couldn’t find if you did any Magolor + Reader ficlets, and if you did I’m so sorry (can I be directed towards it?) and if you didn’t could I request one?

Thank you in advance!

Signed, a huge Magolor fan

oh my gosh MY FIRST EVER REQUEST! Ahem… I worked on a Magolor fic for a while before but decided to not finish it, and then I got this ask! Then I finished it and here it is, it’s not as bad as I thought it was turning out yay! Btw I was writing it a bit self indulgently (it’s a little sad) since it’s not originally from this ask so I hope that’s okay with you. Also this is, indeed, the only fic with Magolor in it I currently have, you were right lol! I hope you like it, and happy reading!

Magolor + Reader

You were at home, crying. Nothing went wrong, but you were crying anyway. Life sucks for you. (And that’s okay.) Your phone had been ringing annoying alarms for at least five minutes straight before, but they eventually died out. Your friends must have realized you didn’t want company, which would’ve been good a few minutes ago, but suddenly you felt like you could handle having someone nearby now. And you also NEEDED to have someone nearby now. You decided to text your friends back finally, since you luckily had the strength to move at least.

You opened your phone. 94 messages?! That’s a lot! Well, it had been ringing for 5 minutes straight earlier. You were treated to reading the following messages:

SkyBaby (that’s Kirby btw, RecD reference): what’s wrong? u didn’t show up to the picnic i planned w/ u! No one likes to refuse food! Are u ok?

ChinchillaTheCutest (that’s Elfilin): Kirby told me you didn’t show up to his picnic. What’s going on? He seems worried about you, probably because you passed up the chance to eat, but I get that you were probably just busy! But seriously, Kirby’s gonna cry if you don’t tell him why you weren’t there.

TripleD (you know): kirby’s crying! i asked him what was wrong and he said u didn’t show up to his picnic! whats up w/that?

BlueberryBatman (you know this one too): I heard that you did not show to a hang-out with Kirby. I hope you are okay. (If you read my Meta Knight + Reader, you know why he’s so concerned lol)

Spidersarenerdsallofthem (Taranza, I’m keeping in line with the lore of my Taranza + Reader): The king told me you hadn’t gone to a meet-up you promised Kirby. Is there anything wrong? I, your best friend, cannot allow you to stay hurt if you are hurt!

Spidersarenerdsallofthem: Nevermind that, something just came up. It probably wasn’t anything serious anyway, it might have been just because you were busy! I hope you understand~

Egg: yo, wassup? i heard you didn’t show to a hangout w/ kirbs was it because you forgot or smth?

You decided to respond to Magolor. You hadn’t talked to him enough and wanted to get to know him better. The only time you got to talk to him was when Kirby took you to see Merry Magoland, so you didn’t really know him beyond what was probably just a customer-service smile. Although Kirby convinced you two to give each other your phone numbers since he wanted all his friends to be able to contact each other in the event of a new threat that needs the power of friendship to be defeated, neither of you called or texted the other until now.

Well, here goes nothing.

You: i didnt forget i just wasnt feeling up to it… wanna hang out? im feeling a bit better now and would like to get to know you

Egg: a friend of kirby’s is a friend of mine! omw

You were glad dreamland was so peaceful. There was so little crime, people could just go to the houses of almost-strangers! While Magolor was on his way, you texted Kirby an apology for not coming to his picnic. He took it well, but you were still guilty for no good reason.

You hear the doorbell ring, and it was much tougher to get up than it had been to pick up your phone. It felt like your bones were made of lead, and your muscles were feeling weaker than usual. You wanted to cry again. Apparently you weren’t as over your meltdown as you thought, but you still managed to do it and went to the door.

You opened the door, and there he was, waiting patiently. 

You smiled to be polite and greeted, “Hey Magolor.” 

He exclaimed, “Yo, y/n! Doing okay?” 

You answered, “No.” 

He looked sad. 

“Is that why you passed up the opportunity to spend time with Kirby?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Can I come in?”

You just nodded, and moved out of the way to let him in your house.

You closed the door and led him to the couch, where you both sat down. You wanted to ask him if you could vent to him, but you couldn’t possibly ask that. You just met him! Frick, why did you even invite him over just to do nothing?!

Fortunately, being the socially knowledgeable, charismatic person he is, Magolor could tell by your expression and body language, as well as what you told him earlier, that you had something you wanted to tell him, and he knew no one likes an awkward silence. “Wanna talk about it?” He sat there eagerly, ready to take whatever you told him.

“Well… I’m probably depressed. I spent a lot of today crying for no reason, and a bit ago, I’d have probably died if anyone spoke to me. But then I thought I should CALL A BORDERLINE STRANGER TO VENT TO THE SECOND I GOT LONELY, I’M SO SORRY I CALLED YOU HERE-” You started coughing and crying from your little outburst, to which Magolor replied by patting your back to help your respiratory system and worriedly telling you, “It’s okay-” 

“NO IT’S NOT OKAY!” You yelled, and started crying again. He looked concerned before, but now he tried to calm himself down for your sake. He asked, “Can I put my hand on your head for a sec?” You were bewildered, but nodded, still weeping. 

He started petting you. What? He kept doing it. When you were quiet enough to talk to, he reminded you, “Hey. Remember when we met at Merry Magoland? We talked for a little bit. So we’re not borderline strangers. Besides, if we’re in the world where Kirby can instantly convince enemies to become his friend and fight alongside him, we can be friends.”

Oh, he was right wasn’t he? Your wailing slowed to the occasional sob, and you looked at him again. He was still concerned, but happy you were getting better. He continued to pet you, and you quietly reached out and pet him, too. He started PURRING. Oh gosh a kitty! you thought.

In your already emotional state, his cuteness and kindness made you cry again for some reason, but more quietly this time. It seemed like anything would make you want to cry now. He just hugged you (or, pressed his hands against you comfortingly, since he has no arms it’s the closest he can get). “There, there.”

You hugged him back and muttered, “Thank you.”

“Anytime. By the way, my dude, wanna play Minecraft? I’m sure it’ll show us the power of best friends!”

Giggling at the sudden change in vibes and glad to think about something else, you two played minecraft the rest of the day and loved it. The end!

[jesterthebestsir]

To 🎩 anon (you turned off anon and I'm not sure if that was an accident or not),

"Dear jester I loved reading all that you had said, i found it rather interesting and i feel that we have the same way of processing each event, methodically and in order ! The situations are rather chaotic, but sifting through each element has helped me tremendously to sort out everything.

I deeply thank you for sharing all that with me.

Seems i relate to you even more now, i am also very mature for my age (same as you) and have become rather burnt out with my schooling and life just in general. I was in a period of time where I had lost all sense of feeling, as i had spent years and years tied to people and in lots of emotional turmoil. He got me out of a very awful time, showed me what true love and kindness was. Never have i experienced that in my life, nor did i ever want to. But now that i have, i don't ever want to let go. Even though he is turning 20 in 8 days

At first, i was scared. Couldn't tell him about that specific factor of me. Although recently, i did, and i somehow knew that he had already known, yet was still too afraid i'd get left again. Seems like he cant leave me either but i guess thats a little fucked up hahaha im glad you realise the pros and cons with your situation and know that although you're obsessed with her, you know its for the better to be apart. I am yet to learn that hahaah !

I find solace knowing we have had similar experiences, although how unfortunate they are, we will find what works for us and what helps us get better. I hope you dont mind my little rambling haha I love your posts tremendously and i am glad you are doing better!

i guess i should make an anon hmmm :3

-🎩 anon"

TL;DR: Find a way to wean off him

My situation seems to be somewhat different than yours as you're still in contact with him and know much more about him than I do about her, I'm not sure how deep your obsession is with him but I'll give you some things that'll at least help you wean off him:

Highlight his flaws:

For me, my obsession centered around entitlement and objectification; she was only a girl meant to help ME through MY problems and give ME comfort. Any time it seemed like I was doing something for her, it just so happened that my attempt of self-gratification just so happens to benefit her (EX: I want to kidnap you because I don't see you as your person, but something to be owned). The more I took the time to look at how she looked, her misspellings, and her overall demeanor, I stopped seeing her as a concept meant to please me and more as a person, a person I didn't want to date.

Consider your personality:

As I grew up and started to become my own person, I realized that my personality didn't mesh as well with hers; I was easily distracted, easily annoyed, mentally unstable, emotionally dependant, but physically distant, and hypersexual. That didn't go well with how naive, childish, and go with the flow she could be and that didn't sit right with me. What if I yell at her?! What if she's uncomfortable with my advances, how would I react? What if I become too dependant on her?! Would that annoy her?! Write about him:

I didn't write about her too much, but it did help me realize how truly fucked up our one-sided "relationship" was looking back (even just a day later) at my writings that were begging myself to let go of her really made me break those rose colored glasses

Hang out with friends more:

I know it's insanely cliche, but hear me out!

As I hung out with my friend more and talked to her less, I found myself becoming slightly more dependant on them as they were healthier to be around and can keep me from doing stupid stuff like contacting her again.

Indulge in fiction:

Around 2020, I found myself getting deep into a series (that I still love to this day) that kept my attention and slowly took over my brain, almost replacing my affection for her. I found so many characters that acted just like her and a lot of them annoyed me, which I think solidified my first point of only like her as a concept and not a person.

Consider the future:

Ask yourself: a couple years from now, when you're 18 (assuming you're a minor, but if not just imagine yourself older), do you see yourself with him?

Showing him off to your parents?

Doing mundane tasks non-romantic tasks like doing laundry?

What would being with him look like?

Do you want to get married to him? Have kids? Grow old?

How romanized is your future with him? When you look at your future with him do you see an ideal person, an almost god-like being with zero flaws or do you see him?

My answer to half of these questions was,"God no"

Like I said before, I don't know much about your situation; how long you've known him, how long you've talked to him, ect ect. so these might not be helpful, but I, at the very least, want you to distance yourself from him a bit, especially if the age gap is as bad as mine (16/21).

[coffyao]

poison couldn't be anymore attractive final.

They pull out a flask from their pocket, shaking the content vigorously before opening it. They take a few sips from it then close it again.

“aren’t you cold?”

They shake their head and look out into the distance. The majority of the streets were empty, where the likelihood of serious crime increased, and the darkness would swallow rather than invite. But when he quietly observed them, they didn’t seem intimidated or intrigued about that darkness. They were indifferent to it, like they had been there many times.

“are you curious?” They say, still looking forwards.

“…huh?”

They turn towards seungbae, where their silhouette and face was shone by the pale yellow streetlight above them. Their mascara was messily smudged while their lipstick seemed to be left alone, scarlet red but worn down after the events of tonight.

“There's nothing wrong with being curious, since it leads you to discovering things about yourself.”

…is that what it is?

Seungbae remains silent, and they continue, “…but it was things that you already kind of knew, but only started coming to the surface once you stopped overthinking so much, you know?”

They turn back, and bite their lip, abashed.

“..Never mind im just rambling, I usually do it when I’m nervous…” They mutter, their voice growing quieter along with the confidence they seemed to have before.

Am I making him feel uncomfortable?

“So are you…wait actually before I ask that... what is your name? just so I know."

“seungbae.”

“...i really like your name. its nice. ”

His name was relatively common, and it didn’t really harbour any special meaning, but he appreciated the compliment.

“…I appreciate that,” he finally says.

“…I’m glad. Then…can you tell me what your curious about?”

Ah.

Seungbae knew he had to answer honestly, as beating around the bush would weaken his already shaky conviction.

He rubs his neck, “…you. I think…I’m curious about you.”

Their lips twinge in slight disappointment, “…I see,” removing a single lock from their face.

“…are you disappointed by my answer?”

 “...maybe a little. But I think I should have expected it,” then they look up at him, “It comes with the role I play on stage.”

Seungbae wasn’t the type of guy to be smooth with the people he was interested in, but to have no real answer of substance beyond ‘curiosity,’ had him feel ashamed.

However, his mind also couldn’t let go of what he saw on stage.  When he thought about last night, the flashing lights no longer deterred him, and he was instead, entranced by an unbridled man that had forced the gazes of everyone on him.  All of their eyes were on him.

“…do you enjoy the role that you play on stage?”

Their eyes widen with surprise, and then they look down at the floor as if they were thoroughly processing what was said. They eventually look up with a half-hearted smile, “… there are times that I do.  Then there are times that I don’t really know…”

“…I see.”

“However, at the times that I do, I feel really, really good about myself…”

they lean their body closer.

“…but I think that’s a little bit irrelevant. You are here precisely because you liked the role that I played, don’t you?”

Ah.

Seungbae coughs and readjusts his glasses, “Ah ha- well I…”

“…or is it maybe because you loved it?”

At this point, the breeze in the air had blown away their loosely fitting gown, revealing their shoulders and in particular, their chest. It also appeared that they didn’t come in much else. Seungbae looks away, but it seemed that they had already caught on to his bashfulness, as the distance between them suddenly closes even further and their smile becomes confident once more.

“…be here again tomorrow after midnight. I’ll prepare something just for you.”

_____

Since it was a Saturday, coming here again felt far less degrading since he could at least wear a casual combination of a t-shirt and a black pair of jeans, compared to the uniform that is attributed with pride. He felt more comfortable in his skin and knowing that he would be completely alone was the final catalyst for his decision.

He stands in the same place as he did yesterday, where the air was lukewarm and the unsettling presence that came with the darkness wasn’t so suffocating anymore.

But he was unsure whether he should knock on the door, or endure yet another minute waiting until apprehension started to set in. That was the worst part for him.

The door eventually opens, and his eyes are met with two cold hands. 

“…You can’t look just yet.”

They take their hands off and replace it with a white blindfold, tying it carefully until it makes a knot. They take his arm, leading him through the smell of citrusy fragrance and plethora of powder that annoyingly sticks onto his shoes. 

They lead him back onto the stage, where it was the stage that he saw everything happen in. but it was also the stage that he was going to be on, and it was going to be the stage won't be for the eyes of anyone else. 

Except for me.

“You can sit down now.”

He sits down, and their hands slip in between his blindfold, loosening it up until it barely hangs from the back.

“… and now you can take it off.”

Seungbae peels off the blindfold, anticipation creeping up from his throat until it comes completely off, his voice stuck as his eyes rewind over and over at the sight that he couldn't believe he saw.   their waist was wrapped with a red skirt that curled tightly around their knees and their top half was covered in a matching tube top that revealed his stomach. Then their neck was accentuated with a velvet choker tied in a ribbon and their look was finally finished with a diamond anklet and clear stilettos.

They lean forward, gradually tracing one finger along his helix.

“...I think your going to enjoy this,” they mumble before pulling back and walking towards the curtains. They turn off the lights and step towards the middle, affirming their position.

 As the music begins, they crouch down until they were on their fours, smiling as they slowly creep towards him. Reaching his legs, their dainty hands travel toward his knees before pulling them apart and sliding themselves between Seungbae's thighs, where their body was dangerously close, and the sweat behind his neck increases.

They put their legs around his waist, and hands on his cheek, appearing to gauge his reaction before leaning forward, “don’t be shy. feel free to touch me if you like.”

As they grip his shoulders, they start to move their waist around in circles, where with each motion their breathing harshens and the movement of their body gradually becomes faster while their hands gain more freedom, traveling towards his back.

Ah.

“…don’t worry, I’m giving you permission.”

Seungbae gently wraps his hands around their waist, and they start to let loose as they alternate between soft and rough grinds that make the gasps harder to escape, and the desire to do a lot more inevitable.

“… ah but the question is, are you giving me permission as well?”

Permission?

“Because,” as their hands slide down further, “consent is a two-way street,” and their lips glaze his ear, “and I really, really want to know if I have yours too...”

With their open invitation, it all became too difficult to ignore and impossible not to reciprocate back.  

I’m reaching my limit.

He lets go of their waist, and instead, carefully guides their hands until they slide underneath his shirt, his skin, hot and his breathing, feverous.

They chuckle, “…I’m sorry. Are you like this because of me?”

With each finger, they move it up and down, tracing them along the hemline of his trousers before moving them upwards again, a repetitive motion that had him needing to take drastic action.

“…I think that’s adorable,” they say, their lips and face closer than ever before, the distance too easy to dismiss and the swell that grew each time they moved.

“…so what are you waiting for?”

They hold the corner of his chin.

“You can kiss me if you want…”

Ah…

Seungbae nervously leans over, where their lips are seconds away from touching, and kissing, and biting. Yet, his inclination to doubt himself and his wants often prevented him from taking the initiative.

…And when he did take the risk, it would often lead to disastrous consequences, creating more doubt in his mind.

But he also didn’t want to let this go, because he needed to see if this was real.

If I’m real.

Seungbae kisses them, his hands tightening around their waist, and his ache for more becoming so, so prominent as their lipstick smears all over their face, the equanimous disposition that they held together so carefully before, becoming undone and revealing someone who wanted it just as much as him.

They moan into the kiss, where their fingers desperately dig into his hair, and their waist moves faster, uncaring enough to notice how their dress had already unravelled and the only thing that barely held it together was his strong hold.

Are you like this because of me as well?

Seungbae could feel the pressure build, where once dull, became painfully intense and it was only so much he could take, so much he could take before he would lose it.

They pull away from the kiss, catching their breath before leaning towards his neck, indicative that they wanted to leave something behind. a searing and lasting reminder.

“...can I?”

He nods, and they press their lips onto him, making gentle pecks across the skin, but his composure was wearing and the further denial of release had him on edge.

fuck.

“hey- just…a bit more,” as the frustration leaves his mouth.

“a bit more…?” 

He hated that sentence.

It meant that he actually had to explicitly say what he wanted. Things like that never came easy to him. But pride at this point, was a waste of time.

“I need you to do it harder.”

“….do what harder?”

For fuck sake.

He gathers their hair around his fist and tightens his grip on it.

“…I’m seriously going to need you to fucking bite me.”

A slow smirk appears on their face.

“…okay.”

They put one hand around his neck, and as they gradually sink their teeth into him, they pick up the pace once again and his need to come reaches its limit.

He clenches his teeth, “h-hey I…”

“…. that’s fine seungbae.”

They sink their teeth harder and the adrenaline that rushes straight into his body makes him groan out in pain, the line between performer and participant blurring and the sense of possessiveness that he felt from their mouth and the glint that he saw when he looked back at them. it felt familiar.

 “…you can come now,” they murmur, and that sentence alone makes him quickly fall apart, his legs stiffening and his hands becoming numb as the grip on their hair becomes tighter.

--

 His body eventually calms down after a while, and he wearily lays his head against their shoulder.

“…how was the performance?” they say, their voice soft and dream-like. His head was still buzzing.

“I enjoyed it. It was…nothing I haven’t quite experienced before.”

“ …good. that’s good. im happy for you…”

Seungbae lifts his head up, “…but how about you? did you…”

Never mind.

“I think I’m rambling as well. I’ll get.."

They put their hands on his shoulders, putting a stop to his sudden movement. Maybe it was a good thing, he still felt sore.

They get up from his lap, fixing their top and pulling down their skirt. They rub the lipstick off the corner of their mouth, and then inspect their thumb closely.

“…your a really amazing kisser,” they whisper, and then they look up.

“I also enjoyed myself as well. just like you…”               

Like me?

Seungbae gets up from the seat, their eyes never breaking contact with him.

“then, is it okay if I see you again?”

their eyes widen, but then their smile turns into a frown. They fold their arms.

“…see me here? Or see me…outside of here.”

Seungbae felt his resolve finally solidify, and he knew exactly what he wanted to do. He moves closer.

“…outside. I want to get to know you. uh…”

He wasn’t good at this. he clears his throat.

“…properly that is. I know this is only our second meeting, but I want to see where this could go.”

He wanted to say that he liked them, and maybe the type of like that he had for them was a lot. but it was too soon, and he was afraid that lust was perhaps impairing his judgment.

asshole.

“…im not saying this for the sake of playing games or trying to lead you on. I really do want to.”

Their eyes travel to his phone, where the corner of it stuck out outside of his back pocket, and then they pull it out.

“…password?” they say, still looking at his phone.

“…two, three, five and one.”

They unlock the phone, and they start typing their contact details except for their name. They pass it back to him.

Seungbae reads it back to himself, and then he looks at them. Their eyes looked expectant.

Oh.

“…i should have asked this from the beginning. im sorry. your name. what is your name?”

Their gentle smile appears once more.

“...I'm glad you finally asked me. my name is..."

___