#well they're barely exes like they JUST broke up

[gerec]

for writing prompts, exes university au cherik?

I really love the university au you wrote where charles hooks up with Sebastian after he and Erik break up and Sebastian takes blackmail photos, so would also love a peek at what happens next hehe

Hi Anon,

Sorry for the delay! I do have more that I plan to write for that uni au, but what I've written isn't ready for posting yet so I wrote something else instead! Hope you like it :D

-----

Exes/University AU

Pairings: Cherik, mentioned Charles/Reed Richards, mentioned Erik/Shaw Tags: Exes, infidelity (sort of), post-breakup fight

It was one in the morning by the time Charles stumbled out of the Uber, still mostly drunk from an ill-advised combination of cheap beer and single malt Scotch. His head ached nearly as much as his poor ass and thighs, and he cursed every step up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. Still, it was less torturous than what awaited him there, standing with his hands shoved in his jeans and leaning against his front door.

“Erik?” he slurred, the flare of relief immediately dwarfed by a tsunami of hurt and anger. It was physically painful to see him, so fucking handsome and self-possessed, and Charles would throw something at that smug face if a) he had anything other than his phone or b) he didn’t think he’d trip and fall over himself instead. “What the— I told you I never wanted to see you again.”

He shoved Erik out of the way, intent on getting inside and slamming the door, only to realize he’d left his keys behind at Reed’s. Groaning, he pressed his pounding forehead against the door, wondering if it was too late to call one of his friends – Moira, or maybe Logan – for a place to crash. Instead, he felt Erik’s arm on his bicep, holding him steady, just as the door miraculously opened and he almost toppled in.

“What?”

“I still have my key,” Erik said, which yes, Charles remembered now; Erik’s had a key to his apartment for the past two years, for almost as long as they’ve been friends and then lovers. So much had happened these past few days that he’d completely forgotten to ask for his key back. Maybe he could give it to Hank instead, he thought, someone he trusted, who was dependable and wouldn’t rip his fucking heart right out of his chest.

“Great. Thanks. You can leave it on the counter and get the fuck out.”

“Charles—”

“No.” He dragged himself to the living room and sank onto the sofa, wincing in discomfort as his ass hit the cushioned edge. “Just…no.”

If he were any less drunk he would physically throw Erik out, or at least get a good punch in before inevitably losing the fight. He knew better than anyone, how stubborn Erik was, and how utterly immoveable he could be if he set his mind to something. Once upon a time, he could count on that steadfastness to extend to both their friendship and their relationship; once upon a time, he could trust Erik when he could trust nothing and no one else.

As it was, he’d have to hope that the man would get tired of being ignored, or else Charles would just pass out and not have to deal with any of it until he could start drinking again tomorrow. Stubbornly, he pretended not to notice the glass of water and pain pills Erik put on the coffee table, and refused to quail under that familiar, judgemental frown.

“Where were you?”

“Oh, fuck off, Erik.” “I saw you leaving Finnegan’s with Reed Richards three hours ago.”

Charles scoffed, still unwilling (unable) to look Erik in the eye. “What? You’re stalking me now?”

“Mein Gott, Charles! He’s your Professor—”

“He’s not anymore! I stopped TA-ing for him last semester—”

“—and he’s married! And he’s old enough to be your father! What were you thinking?” Erik snarled, eyes narrowed and gleaming with disgust. He would think it was jealousy if he didn’t know any better; if he hadn’t seen evidence for himself how very little Charles truly meant to him. And certainly not after what Erik did – who Erik did – not 24 hours after their split.

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business who I fuck,” Charles answered, voice dripping with the kind of casual snobbery and disregard that he knew Erik hated. “At least I waited three whole days before I bent over to take another man’s cock up my ass! And I had the decency to do it in the privacy of that man’s home instead of at a frat party for the whole world to see! For all our friends to see!”

He should have felt something – triumphant, vindicated even – to see Erik’s face go white as a sheet; he clearly had not expected the grapevine to work quite so quickly in delivering Charles the news. And until this moment, there’d been a tiny bit of Charles that hoped it wasn’t true, only to have that dashed to a million pieces by Erik’s pained expression. He wanted to be sick, thinking about Erik with that absolute bastard, being pressed up against the wall with his pants around his ankles and moaning Shaw’s name.

(He swore to Charles that they were over for good; that he was over him, and like an idiot Charles had believed every word out of Erik’s lying mouth.)

“I don’t…it wasn’t…”

There was literally nothing Erik could say that would fix what was broken, and Charles realized with a sudden clarity that he just needed Erik gone – out of his apartment and definitely out of his life.

“It doesn’t matter. I don't want to know.”

He watched a myriad of emotions flicker over Erik’s face, until his lips settled into a tight, thin line. It was going to be anger then, because anger was Erik’s default, and it was easier and more familiar to handle than either sorrow or shame.

“We’re not back together,” he said, as though it would make any difference or change anything. “And…you and I were broken up. I didn’t cheat on you, Charles.”

“And I didn’t cheat on you,” he said, even if it had felt like cheating, spread out on Reed’s bed with his legs in the air. “Guess we’re both just a couple of sluts. You and I were never going to work. We shouldn't have gotten together in the first place.”

If he was any less drunk, he would have withered under the intensity of Erik’s icy glare, and maybe even empathized with how much he must be hurting too over their split. As it was, Charles was just too tired and too heartbroken; he wanted Erik to leave so he could just think and breathe again and not beg him to stay.

“Is that what you really think?” Erik asked, arms crossed and expression shuttered. He knew what Erik would think and how he would react, and still Charles forced himself not to back down or open himself to even more heartbreak.

“Yes.”

He closed his eyes, so he didn’t have to watch Erik turn and walk out the door.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

deliveries

words: 1.2k

warnings: ex!rafe, reconciliation, kinda sugar daddy rafe but he just likes taking care of his girl mhm iktr

“can i say no?” you sigh.

“say no? did you not place this delivery?” the man raises his eyebrows.

“i didn't. my- my ex did.”

“well, i have to deliver it, ma’am, but i don't care what you do with it afterwards. give it to your friends or throw it out.” the man sets the bags of food at your doorstep, snapping a picture before walking off.

you can't blame him, plus it's probably a situation he's never encountered before.

you sigh as you pick up the bags, carrying them into the kitchen counter. packages, deliveries and letters have been showing up on your doorstep for two weeks, ever since you broke up with rafe.

you're sick of it at this point. as you go through the food, picking out something to eat for dinner (you're not just gonna let it go to waste!) you grab your phone and unblock rafes number.

you wonder how long it will take him to realize as you sit at your desk and eat. you're in an apartment complex with pretty tight security, it's the only reason why rafe isn't knocking at your door himself, instead sending whoever he can to get a message to you, while simultaneously making sure you have plenty of food to eat and things to take care of yourself with.

you answer your phone after the first ring. you deleted his contact, but rafes number is forever memorized in your head.

“stop sending me things.” 

“baby, its a relief to hear your voice again.” rafe sighs, sounding genuinely happy, like a weight is suddenly off his chest. “please, let me just talk to you. i miss you so much.”

“no, rafe. we broke up. you need to stop.” 

“why'd you break up with me? what did you tell me princess?” rafe questions. “i wasn't giving you enough attention. now im giving you everything. please, y/n.” he pleads. “im not going to stop.”

you take a deep sigh. you really love rafe, despite your relationship being only six months old when you broke up with him, it was just too much. too much attention from your friends and too much pressure from his family. it pushed your relationship farther apart until rafe barely paid attention to you, receiving constant questions from his dad and friends.

“you have to, rafe. clearly things weren't working out. we tried. we can say that. gave it a fair shot.”

“im not done trying. yes, i let my family and other people get into my head about our relationship, but im done with that bullshit. i want you back.”

“let me think about it, okay?” it's an olive branch. the best thing that you can extend right now.

“okay.” rafe agrees. “how about i call you friday?”

you glance at the calendar hanging over your desk. two days. two days to think. you're not sure it's enough or too much.

“that works… but rafe, stop sending me stuff.”

“i can't, baby.” you can practically see the way he's shaking his head right now. “gotta take care of my girl, even if you don't wanna see me.”

“fine.” you groan. you know there's no talking rafe out of it. “order me some lemonade next time then.”

--

you yawn as you wake up with a big stretch, instinctively reaching over to the other side of the bed. your hand pats the sheets before remembering that you left rafe.

you slide out of bed, heading towards your kitchen to get something for breakfast when a knock on your door interrupts you.

“one second!” you're in pajamas, but they're far too small and tight to answer the door in. you rush back into your bedroom and pull a robe on to cover up.

“hi!” the delivery woman smiles. “y/n?”

“yup.” you nod, stepping to the side. “do you mind just setting it down on the counter?”

the woman places the bags down before saying goodbye and seeing herself out. you sigh and look into the bags, eyes bulging when you see velvet boxes carefully placed inside one of them.

you pull out one of the boxes, gasping when a beautiful diamond necklace is revealed. you continue to open them, realizing rafe bought you jewelry of almost every variety.

“oh, gosh.” you grab a note, opening it to see his handwriting.

it's just what you deserve. i love you and want you back. can't wait to talk to you tomorrow.

rafe

p.s. i paid your rent for the next three months

you grab your phone before even looking in the other bag, dialing rafes number. he picks up almost instantly.

“you know you can't buy my love, right?” 

“im not trying to.” rafe says. “im just trying to take care of you. did you get the breakfast?”

you peek into the other bag, seeing a stack of delicious looking pancakes inside a clear container, as well as some other options.

“yeah, ill eat it in a minute.”

“good.” you can practically hear rafes smile over the phone.

“how about we meet up in person to talk tomorrow instead of on the phone?”

“ill go wherever you want.”

“our first date.” is all you say before hanging up, grabbing the pancakes and container holding scrambled eggs.

--

you're aware you didn't say what time as you pull up to the pier. it's a warm day, sunny with almost no clouds in the sky, but a light breeze gives you the perfect amount of cooling.

you walk down the pier, unable to hold back your smile when you see rafe sitting on the bench where you ate ice cream on your first date after finally agreeing to let him take you out.

rafe watches you carefully as you sit down next to him.

“you're wearing the necklace i got you.” he smiles, seeing the gold chain around your neck.

“i am.” you nod. 

“can i… can i hug you? ive missed you so much baby.”

you nod again, not sure you can find your voice as rafes arms wrap around your body, holding you into his side. you snuggle into his chest, eyes sliding shut. 

“love you so much.” rafe says, pressing kisses to the top of your head. “so much i messed up the first time not trying to be too obsessed. i just didn't want to make you run away, turns out i did the exact opposite and you felt ignored. you know how my dad is…” rafe trails off as you pick your head up to look at him.

“we shouldn't have let others get between us.” you know you're not innocent in it either, contributing just as much to rafe to the tension that had grown between the two of you.

“and we won't let it happen again now that we know.” rafe says, a promising look in his eyes. you swear it looks like he might cry as you nod.

he ducks his head, pressing your lips together in a sweet kiss. you fist your hands in his shirt, keeping him close as you kiss back, having missed his lips on yours more than you'd like to admit.

“does this mean you'll tell security im allowed back in?” rafe laughs gently, cupping your face, his thumb gently stroking over your cheek.

“hmm, i guess.” you giggle.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @sourkittie @rafeyslove @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysticallystilinski @luvdella @aerangi @vogueprincess @auryyz @raysmayhem-72 @thestarlithideout @marvelfanfics1recs @rafesgiirl @ditzyzombiesblog @chiaraanatra @tobiaslut @drewsephrry @1aarii1 @bejeweledreverie @winterrrnight

[osaemu]

GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ ONE MORE CHANCE? (IT WON'T BE THE LAST) ❜❜

.ೃ࿐ you hate your ex, but nobody else can fuck you half as well — so maybe you'll give him one more chance.

contents: fem!reader. implied unprotected sex, dirty talk (?), lil' bit of praise, lil' bit of degradation, oral (fem. receiving), couch sex, gojo covers your mouth at one point, cursing, lil' bit of teasing/mocking (?). sorta toxic but whatevs we love a toxic king! 2000+ words.

author's note: got lazy in the middle of writing this loll

"he's just so fucking annoying," you groan, swirling the drink in your hand. the ice clinks against the side of the glass as you lift the cup to your lips, sipping the whiskey and wincing at the way it burns the back of your throat. you lean back in the plush couch in your friend's living room and sigh. "i don't know why i ever dated him."

your friend nods in agreement, eyes fixed on her phone for another second before she turns it towards you. "look what he posted on his instagram."

on your friend's screen is an instagram story, and the tag shows that it's from your ex-boyfriend — satoru gojo. tired of his insensitivity and annoying nature, you had dumped him two weeks ago, and god, you'd never had such a petty ex in your life.

after you broke up with him, he blocked you from all his socials and got all his friends to do the same. so, since he practically knew everyone, you lost a hundred followers.

and apparently, he's out fucking some other girl right now.

the story on your friend's phone is a picture of a smirking satoru with his arm wrapped around some girl with a red plastic cup in her hand. they're bathed in overhead red lights, and you can barely make out a familiar dark-haired boy in the back — another one of satoru's fuckboy friends.

"he's such a manwhore," your friend says with an eyeroll. "d'you want to stay the night?"

you shake your head, setting down the now-empty glass on a coaster. "it's alright, i wouldn't want to intrude," you say with a rueful smile.

your friend eyes you suspiciously for another second before leaning back in her own seat and closing her eyes. "stay safe, it's pretty late."

you nod and toss your things into your bag before stepping out the door, closing it gently behind you. as you get in your car and drive back to your house, thoughts of satoru fill your head. 

you don't recognize the girl under satoru's arm, but she's pretty — too pretty for him. sure, satoru was conventionally attractive, with his ocean-blue eyes and flawless physique, but still. 

satoru was a shitty boyfriend, and now he's an even shittier ex. when you two dated, his spoiled brattiness and constant sorry, i forgot's drove you insane. he couldn't even remember your birthday. it was a miracle that you tolerated him for that long — until your one-year anniversary, which obviously slipped his mind.

"you're so insensitive," you groan, dragging a hand down your face. satoru suppresses a sigh, blue eyes looking everywhere but at you. "and— satoru, are you even listening to me?"

you're quiet for three seconds before he responds, and naturally, it was with a "huh? yeah, what is it?"

every time. every single time.

"it's over," you mutter, shaking your head frustratedly. "we're over, satoru."

"fine," he responds after a moment. "i never really liked you anyways."

"fuck you."

if you didn't give a fuck about that white-haired bastard anymore, why did the memory of your breakup still sting?

you try to tell yourself that it doesn't matter. maybe it was for the best — he was out with some pretty girl, so why couldn't you go out and sleep with some hot guy? 

you make up your mind right as you step into your house, and thirty minutes later, you're in a tight dress and four-inch heels. and it's almost funny how easy it is to doll up when you don't have a horny boyfriend trying to fuck you every two seconds.

right before you step out the door, you eye yourself in the mirror and can't help but admire the way your dress hugs your waist, accentuating your curves. that smug manwhore didn't know what he was missing out on — so why not show him?

you pull out your phone and take a picture of yourself, snapping a couple before deciding on one and posting it on your story. you knew he'd see it — you intentionally let his burner stay unblocked, and coincidentally, he didn't block you either. 

just as you push open your door, you realize that your phone's on death's door — just over five percent remaining. so you plug it into your charger, kicking your feet impatiently as you wait for it to charge to a reasonable amount.

some part of you wants to chicken out, to stay home and spend the night watching a classic romcom. but the other part of you, the part that can't ignore the fact that you haven't had sex in two weeks, urges you to go out and get laid.

so twenty minutes later, when your phone finally hits forty percent, you practically throw open the door and rush out and find yourself face-to-face with the guy who's somewhere between belly conklin and andy bernard on your most-disliked list. satoru gojo.

"what the fuck are you doing here?" you snap, wrapping your arms around yourself as the cold night air touches your bare skin. satoru eyes you up and down, and suddenly, you're very aware of just how exposed you are. "satoru, answer the damn question."

"where are you going?" he asks, eyes narrowing when they settle on your dress's deep neckline. 

"none of your business," you reply shortly, biting the inside of your cheek. unfortunately, satoru looks good. just like in his instagram story, he has one button undone in his collar, and his hair is rumpled and perfect all at the same time. "answer the fuckin' question."

"saw your story," satoru replies, slipping his hands into his pocket. "you going out on a date or something?"

the question catches you off guard, and your irritated expression drops for a moment. strangely enough, satoru doesn't have his usual smug expression on his face — he looks conflicted. he never looks conflicted.

"doesn't matter," you respond, walking around him and relishing the way your heels clack on the concrete ground. without turning around, you ask, "so, what about my story made you come over?"

you're not sure why you're baiting him. maybe it's the slight chance that he would beg to get you back, maybe it's the tightness in your chest and pussy, or maybe you just want the satisfaction of seeing satoru squirm.

whatever it is, it lets satoru take you by the wrist and drag you back inside. you suppose that if you can get dick at home, then there's no point in going all the way to the club. and it's not like you're gonna get back together over one night — this would be purely physical. he wanted you, and you wouldn't mind him.

"fuck, right there, sweetheart," satoru groans, pushing your legs impossibly farther apart as his tongue laps at your pussy. the two of you barely made it to the couch in your living room before satoru pushed you down, a mischievous smile on his lips. one thing turned to another, and soon enough he was on his knees in front of you and eatung you out like a starving man.

"you're such a loser," you mutter, threading your fingers through his hair as his tongue makes you see stars. he really was — who shows up to their ex's place after getting dumped? a laugh bubbles out of satoru's lips while his mouth is still on your pussy and it makes you shiver. satoru looks up at you, an amused gleam in his eyes.

"s' that so?" satoru mumbles, pressing his lips to your inner thigh with a smirk. "then why'd you let me in, huh?"

"why would i go out when i can just get fucked at home?" you say dryly, a smile growing on your lips. "since you made the effort of coming all the way here."

"my pleasure," satoru scoffs sarcastically, getting up and joining you on the couch as he tugs you into his lap. "so i'm the pathetic loser here, yeah?"

you nod, letting satoru unzip the back of your dress with one hand. he laughs and shakes his head. "you're the one who let me in, baby."

"yeah, well, you showed up."

"you coulda slammed the door in my face."

"maybe i should've," you mutter, not liking the way he's grinning at you. "you gonna fuck me or what?"

"aw, you're desperate. how cute," he replies without missing a beat. it's been a while since you got to banter with satoru like this, and some part of you misses it. sure, he's disgustingly cocky, but at least he has the dick to back it up. and it's fun, too — you like the chase, and clearly, he does too.

"not really," you say with a shrug. that's a lie — the only reason you let him in was to get fucked, and contrary to the excuses falling from your mouth, you were getting impatient. not that he needed to know that.

"fine. have it your way, brat." satoru smiles cheekily and bounces his leg up and down, making you grit your teeth as you struggle to focus.

you make a face at satoru, crossing your arms. "what are you—"

"waiting."

"for what?"

"for you to beg."

your mouth falls open, and you glare at satoru, hating the way he's smugly grinning at you. this isn't the first time he's asked you to beg for him to fuck you — back when the two of you were dating, he had no problem edging you the whole night and practically making you cry for him.

"not this again," you groan, letting out a drawn-out sigh. "just fuck me already, satoru. or i'll go get someone else to."

satoru clicks his tongue, smiling lazily. "we both know you won't do that."

again, he's right, and god, you hate him for it. "just shut up and fuck me."

"alright, since you asked so nicely," satoru drawls, running his tongue over his teeth. he studies you intently, white hair falling into his eyes. before you can ask what he's looking at, he has you pinned against the couch cushions, face down and ass up. 

"good girl, stayin' nice and quiet for me," satoru groans, hand clasped over your mouth as he pounds into you from behind. "you always talked too much. never knew when to shut that damn mouth."

you moan against his hand, unable to think about anything else but satoru and his dick. that's the only reason the two of you stayed together for as long as you did — because the sex was irreplaceable. and after two weeks without getting fucked, you seriously consider throwing all pride out the window and begging for him back.

"shit, you're so fuckin' tight," satoru says with a rough laugh. "have you really not fucked with anyone else since you dumped me?" 

you shake your head, eyes pressed shut as satoru continues sloppily thrusting into you. there's a coil in your chest that's threatening to burst, and the whines slipping out of your lips increase in both pitch and volume.

at this point, you can hardly remember why you broke up with satoru — or maybe, he's just not giving you a chance to remember. his pace is relentless and mind-numbing, and shit, maybe it's for the best.

when he finally lets you cum, it's the best feeling you've had in what feels like forever. the edges of your vision go white, and satoru removes his hand from your mouth, letting out the lewd, muffled sounds that you've been suppressing all this time. not long after, satoru cums too, and it's sloppy, messy, and all over you. 

satoru collapses on top of your back, hot breaths slipping out of his mouth and brushing against your cheek. "took me so good, baby," he groans, pressing his lips to your neck and laughing breathily. "we should do this again sometime."

you shouldn't like this. you should be shoving him out your door, but his mischievous smile is irresistible. and even though you know this time probably won't end any different than the rest, you decide to give satoru one more chance.

"yeah, same time tomorrow?"

"anythin' for you."

[selarina]

continuation to this

so, that night gojo satoru leaves with no jacket and half a broken heart and for the first time since he was 12 years old, he takes a sip of alcohol as he slouches against his home bar.

it's bitter, and it tastes a bit too much like soy sauce for his liking but he sips and sips until he sees the engraved "S.G" inscription at the bottom of his glass.

"hello, husband," a voice comes from behind him, interrupting his sob fest.

and for a moment, for dumb little moment, he thinks it's you. the voice sounds nothing like you though, it's far too high-pitched, but he's dreamt of this far too much for him to imagine someone else calling him husband.

aya tsukino materialises next to him, and seats herself on a seat beside him. she moves with a certain a quiet sleekness that he barely caught her moving from behind him. or maybe, he's finally out of it. "excited for the wedding, then?" she deadpans as she pours herself a drink.

"thrilled," he parrots back, merely a barren echo of emotions.

there's more truth in this room than there's been in your shared room for weeks. because it's simple really— gojo doesn't want to marry her, and aya couldn't care less as long as she got the money his family had.

before they had even exchanged any words, it was clear that they had this silent agreement that the two of them had little to do with love and everything to do with societal expectations and status.

as gojo attempts to take another sip from his empty company, he can't help but replay the events of the evening in his mind. your anger, and the way you stood up for the love you believed in. it'll haunt him for the rest of his life.

he wonders if you'll genuinely come to understand that he did have you in mind when he left you. he doesn't want you to be a mistress, a dirty little secret. he's seen how it broke his mother apart. how could he wish the same fate upon you knowing how his mother's life ended?

you're strong, and he believes you will persist and he will see at the end of his life sleeping grey and old in his bed as he stares at the way the sunlight hits your laugh lines.

but he also remembers the way you cried in secret. he never brought it up, he never brings it up. he was just waiting for the day you'd be comfortable enough to cry in front of him but for now, he settles for meaningless presents he brings afterwards to wipe off the blue from your face.

he places his glass down with a clink, and he hears a resembling clink from aya. "i'll ask you this only once, gojo satoru," she speaks up. "do you want this marriage?"

"i never wanted this marriage," his reply is immediate.

"of course not," she says. "i meant, do you still want to go through with this?"

he doesn't respond. the both of them know the answer to that, it's written all too clearly on his soppy little face.

"what if i don't," he finally speaks. "what about your money? your status?"

"my money..." she feigns to ponder. "as someone who's always sought out money, i can tell you one thing about it. money, it comes and it goes. i'll find another way as i always do," she says. "i will be fine."

"your father—"

"—is a terrible man, who will go on his pissy campaign against me but i hope it's not presumptuous of me to expect you to come to defence when needed. you know, for all the trouble?"

he chuckles with no mirth. seems trouble is all he's capable of causing the past few days. "of course," he responds.

aya smiles, she supposes there's one benefit of having the strongest sorcerer as her ex-fiancé. she stands up, as she pulls her coat snug against her body as she prepares to leave. "besides, you're not the only rich high-status man in town, you know?"

"well, they're not all me," he replies. his smug demeanour returning to him like it's breathing a new life into him.

"wow, a bonus too," she chuckles.

"and who was that handsome man with you on friday? blonde, glasses, chiselled like a—"

"nanami kento," he replies with a grin.

"nanami kento. is he rich?"

"not as rich as you," he replies. it's true. he's rich, he worked on wall street after all and nanami is a smart man, he has so much in his savings account, it's enough to feed an entire nuclear family. why he saves up is something that's beyond gojo.

"well, he's handsome. tell mr. kento i said hello," she smiles facetiously.

"tsk, fine." he grins again. "get out of here."

-

it's been a week since you heard about the wedding falling apart. and since, you've been hearing about it daily, almost hourly if you're being honest. after all, you're at the centre of it. it only makes sense.

there's a whole slew of narratives running around, cheating, money laundering, even murder. but the most popular one was about how aya was the rosaline to your romeo and juliet. gojo's as romeo as he comes — handsome, influential and maybe a bit endearingly dumb but you fail to see how you're juliet. she was rich, influential, beautiful — everything you've been starkly reminded that you are not.

but everyone's talking about the romance of it all and you haven't heard from gojo himself so it's strange to take their words to mind or heart. you ignore them, forming a ready-made response sheet in your head to every possible question you encounter across the week. they become white noise, as you go through your day like a pre-programmed robot.

but that changes on a hot, dusty afternoon as you're sitting in a cafe, awaiting a man you were advised against seeing, and he's late. of course, he's fucking late. he broke up with you and he has the audac—

he walks in. he looks exhausted, lankier than usual, and there's a cruel part of you that likes it. to know he looks as miserable as you've been seeing. there's the other, familiar part of you that wants to run your fingers against his sensitive eyes as you feed him with the warmth of the diner's food.

but you do neither, you neither smile nor frown. you sit in place as you wait for him to come and sit opposite you.

"hey," his voice sounds gravelly. "i'm sorry i'm late."

"nothing i'm not used to," you reply with a glare as you cross your arms.

his hands reach for the menu as he plays with the edges of the paper. he always orders the same breakfast meal from this place. he must be nervous.

"i... i wanted to talk to you," he starts. "i want you back."

"excuse me? you can't just—"

"i'm willing to do anything. anything. if you want to take it slow, i understand. if you want to take your time, i understand. if you want me to get down on my knees and beg, i understa—"

"do it."

his eyes widen, you can tell — even though the black glasses are blocking his eyes, you can tell. it only lasts for a split second, because you blink with contempt and he's beside you. on his knees, as he stares up at you. he barely stares up at you — he's so tall, he's almost eye-to-eye with you. but even so he hunches his back, makes himself small.

"i'm sorry," he says again, as he takes off his glasses placing it onto the table in front of you. his eyes are alarmingly blood-red, and it takes every muscle in your body to hold back from running your fingers over his. "like i said, i'll do anything. just pleas— take me back."

you stare, and he stares back at you. you're too lost in the way he looks at you — at your mercy — that you miss the strange and baffled looks from people around you. and when you finally do, your cheeks flush with heat.

"okay," you say. " please, get up now."

"no, let me— let me stay," he says. pleads. "just let me stay until you take me back."

"fine," you sigh, as if there was any real objection from your side. "get up now."

"really?" his blood-red eyes gleam, you could almost see a tinge of the vibrant blue coming back to life.

"yes," you groan as your hand grip his elbow. "i was willing to be your fucking mistress. did you really thin— i would say— mmpph"

and just like that he's up, sliding next to you on your seat, as he kisses you. you're ashamed to admit that your first thought was the idea of getting kicked out for public indecency but your second thought was about how you think you could stay like this forever. despite the public gawking at you through mean and baffled stares.

"i'm serious about doing whatever it takes," he says, sincerity laced in his voice. "you shouldn't let me get away with this lightly."

you smile. "I hope you mean it," you reply. "and i won't. i’ll make you work for it, just a little."

he nods with a smile, "anything. i'll make it up to you."

"you have to do the chicken dance," you say, seriously and firmly.

"what?"

"you have to do the chicken dance. right now in the middle of the diner and i'm taking a video," you pull out your phone. "and... i'm sending it to nobara."

his eyes widen, almost like he's feeling actual fear. "not nobara," he gasps. "but she's so mean, baby."

"well, you said anything."

he sighs. gojo looks around the crowded diner, his tall frame rigid and tense. he glances at you, then at your phone, and finally resigns himself to the absurd request.

"fine," he mutters, standing up from the seat as he begins flapping his arms and doing a clumsy version of the chicken dance in the middle of the diner.

[mikareo]

“ ࣭⸰ ★ FROM THE DINING TABLE . . . ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀呪術廻戦 ; gojo satoru x fem reader

⊹ ⠀⠀ is it possible to fall out of love? ...apparently so. (0.7k)

contains; exes, reader sees gojo w/ his new girlfriend, ur just the sad and lonely ex who can't get over him idk author's note; i am stressed and this is how im coping

it's been three months.

only three months since you and satoru broke things off. since satoru told you he lost feelings and could no longer string you along as you gazed at him with lovesick eyes etched in hearts; which were well deserved considering your relationship lasted a little over three years.

you loved him so much. no. you love him so much. you'll never stop loving him for as long as you can breathe, because who is he if not your soulmate? there's no one else that understands you, listens to you, and notices all of your ticks and little emotions that are blind to the common eye. satoru is the one that you're supposed to end up with; that you're supposed to marry as you walk down the aisle awaiting that bright smile he always flashed in your direction.

if you're supposed to marry satoru...

...why is he smiling at someone else?

"oh, shit." he finally notices your presence and it's somewhat insulting considering the market isn't too crowded. "hey, how've you been?"

his tone is almost condescending. why would he be asking that question? he should know that you're an absolute and complete mess over him. he should be an absolute and complete mess over you, too. you don't care that he claims to have fallen out of love. that's impossible. that's just something that happens in the movies; and if your life is anything like one of those cheesy romcoms— you desperately hope that you're not the character that gets their heart broken for the main lead.

"i'm okay." you lie. you're not okay. your heart is pounding at a rate that's so rapid you think you're about to pass out, thudding inside of your chest in its best attempt to leap from your body and land in satoru's open hands. now that you're noticing them, though, they're not open. they're firmly clasped to whoever this new stranger is. whoever his new girlfriend is. "who's this?"

he waves his hand dismissively. "don't worry about it." to which the girl giggles and leans into his side.

they're mocking you. you can't help but feel that way.

you can't help but feel your heart break into glass fragments that once were a stained glass mural of your love story. the images of him confessing his feelings after the snow melted in spring, whispering his love for you for the first time when summer began, and the promise ring he was so excited about giving you during your last holiday together, all clash to the ground— becoming incoherent memories that only you care to recall. it's clear that satoru is happily cementing new moments with this girl who's likely somewhat similar to you. she seems sweet and kind, and you hope that she escapes being strung along far sooner than you did.

"you look cute together." the smile on your face is clearly phony. he knows you well enough to be able to tell, and you're sure that she's able to understand, too.

"thank you!" she's so nice? why does he always go for nice girls? if you could take a guess, it's because he enjoys watching them fall for him...watching them give up their entire hearts for his love, only to shred them to pieces like receipt paper that he no longer cares to hold onto. what a monster.

...but you still love him.

"you're welcome." your reply is as genuine as you can fake it to be, and it's possible you've fooled her. you haven't fooled satoru, though. your ex is staring at you with knowing intent, seeing the bitterness in your soul that you hide from everyone else. "satoru, can we talk?"

please.

"what is there to talk about?" his laugh practically drowns you. you feel as if there's a weighted anchor attached to your ankle with a rope that's impossible to break apart with your bare hands. it's pulling you deeper and deeper into the depths of abyss, giggling as you struggle for air and water fills your lungs. the fish say hello. they watch as your lungs close in. they wave goodbye when your eyes finally close.

"forget i said anything."

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

[creedslove]

KEEPING YOUR PICTURE 💋

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: Javi sees you going a little crazy over your ex and he tries to make you feel better

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of bad relationships, mentions of cheating, javier peña (because he is a trigger warning himself)

A/N: besties, this is just a short silly drabble that came to me because I actually dreamed of that, lol!

0.8k words

"I hope you know I can have you arrested for that, cariño" Javi's voice startled you as he took a step closer and lit up a cigarette.

He was the last person you expected to see at that hour, but there he was, having a smoke and wondering what the hell you were doing.

You couldn't sleep that night, not after the news you got, and you tried several times to get rid of the annoying pang that grew in your chest, however, the more you tried not thinking of it, the more you thought of it and that was bothering you to no end so you thought of the most illogical idea that could possibly cross someone's mind: you went out in the street in the middle of the night, grabbed one of the trash cans outside, dragged it to the patio of your apartment complex, started a small fire inside the can and threw it into the flames all of the painful memories that troubled your sleep and disturbed your heart.

And of course that working with Javier wasn't enough, you had to be his neighbor too, door to door, and not only that, he had to be up in the middle of the night to watch your mentally unstable horror show.

He could've made fun of it, he could've made a cheeky comment, but instead, he just stood there, curiously watching what you were doing as he took some puffs of his cigarette.

"You can try to arrest me, I may not be an agent but I have my DEA privileges" you winked at him with a sad smile and watched as Javi took a step closer and finally watched what was in your hands. He saw the photographs you held and looked at you

"That's the bastard who broke your heart?" You nodded and he hummed, taking the pictures into his own hands and watched them carefully "I'm guessing you are burning them down? Lorraine did the same when I left her at the altar" he smiled sadly and earned a chuckle from you

"Well, maybe you and my ex could have a drink together and exchange life experiences…"

Javi gave you a stinky eye and shook his head "I was a dick, but I was also immature as fuck, barely had left highschool and thought I was adult enough to get married. Your ex, on the other hand, was just a dick, because he couldn't see how lucky he was to have a wonderful woman like yourself and decided to change you for some whore" he shrugged and a blush spread through your cheeks. Javier Peña considered you a wonderful woman? You hadn't really thought that was possible, well, Javier had flirted with you and hinted at taking you back to his apartment, but he did this to every woman he saw, so you figured it wasn't a big deal.

"Cariño, you told me what he did, he cheated and deceived and he got the other girl pregnant, didn't he?" His thumb stroked your cheek gently as you nodded, looking into his eyes

"And after he said he would never marry me because he just didn't do marriages, he married his bitch" you groaned "and that's not it, guess where they're coming on their honeymoon?"

"Colombia?" He raised his eyebrow and you nodded

"Let me guess… they aren't going to Cartagena or any other beautiful place, they're coming here?" You nodded again and Javi licked his lips

"That's cruel" he said "tell you what, you let me know when they're coming and they will get a cop visit" he suggested it and made you scoff "would you really harass innocent civilians in order to protect me?"

Javi took another step closer, this time placing his hand on your waist and pulling you closer

"For you, I would yeah… now, instead of burning these pics, why don't you give me them? I will cut out your shitty ex boyfriend from them and keep the rest to myself…"

"The rest as in… my pictures? Why would you keep them?"

"Because you are too pretty to just burn it down, I'd take better care of the pics, cariño, just like I would take better care of you" he winked and you laughed again, Javi was a true womanizer, he just had whoever he wanted, and yet, it never seemed to work on you.

"Why didn't you accept when I asked you out, cariño? Were you afraid I'd play with your feelings?"

"You didn't ask me out, Javi, you invited me over for drinks and cigarettes which translates into sex…"

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't take good care of you, hermosa…"

Your hands rested over Javi's and you smiled big "yeah? Prove it"

And Javi pulled you for a kiss, a deep, intense one, where your lips wouldn't leave his even if someone forced you to.

Your whole body shook and it just felt right to be in his arms, it was a warm, soothing and intoxicating embrace. In his arms nothing else matter but you and him and you moaned disappointed the moment he broke the kiss, his fingers gently placing a strand of hair behind your ear, as he smirked

"See? Told you I could take care of you, cariño"

____

A/N: Besties, I know it wasn't great, but I had a dream about that lol, and I thought I should put it into paper. Also, I'm working on the epilogue of Deserve It, it's just going slower than I thought... 🌹❤️

[thr0wnawayy]

Dissecting the Jaku General Hospital Disaster and MHA's failures with complexity

Ahhh, The Jaku Hospital Raid. The point where MHA's story went from it's ever increasing decline to throwing itself right off a cliff.

(boooring)

I think most can agree this event was a travesty writing/plot wise, but how about all of those in regards to MHA's setting. Well that's what I'd like to discuss.

Point 1: A Goal Without a Plan is a Dream

The plan summed up is "fuck around and find out".

The heroes came in to uncharted enemy territory relying soley on brute force, broke a bunch of equipment that did God knows what (for all they knew, it could have been lethal*).

Then they proceed to shoot themselves in the foot by getting too cocky, despite knowing that Shigaraki was undergoing some sort of procedure. X-less shoots a machine that for all he knew could have been a bomb or generator. Why?, because he had a "bad feeling".

* I'm talking potential toxic fumes, gas leaks, accidental combustion, etc

Now let's focus on the evacuation effort...

Oh.

Oh FUCK!

That's it!?. A couple hundred dozen heroes and a select handful of first and third year's.

One of whom, mind you, is strictly combat oriented by the (extremely niche) capabilities of his quirk. What can Bakugo actually do here?, in the worst case scenario (being Shigaraki's awakening) he's limited to one arm and two legs (maybe his mouth?). That will further drag him down due to his quirk relying on both hands to be viable.

And we see this!

Moving along.

Another thing they didn't count on was outside help. The moment Gigantomechia arrives, it throws another curve ball. With the only reason for their survival being Dues-Ex-Machina Best "Dirty laundry" Jeanist.

They failed in the end anyways because a large portion of the LOV+ the MLA escaped.

Point 2: Organisms Used for Nefarious Means

I will keep this section brief

Nomu are in my opinion one of the biggest wastes of potential MHA produced. Going from being unnatural goliaths capable of striking dread into the hearts of even the long standing No1 Hero, to being undead cannonfodder that heroes can beat up so the audience doesn't question their ethics or (lack of) morality.

It is a sheer miracle that the Nomu didn't leave the heroes worse for wear. This is again more due to Hori relying too heavily on "convince" and not enough on in-world solutions, but I digress.

The Nomu should have been the biggest threat and again, the heroes failed to account for this. They had no way of knowing, sure.

But they should have accounted this early on. What about the civilians, evacuating them isn't enough as seen in Hosu. I mean they were walking into a lab and they had dealt with Nomu facilties before (Kamino)

Were there inpatients during the raid? and if so were they evacuated or did the Heroes say "fuck it." Given what eas allowed at Central Hospital I wouldn't put it past them.

Point 3: A civilians point of view.

I want you to imagine for a moment: You're a civilian and your whole life, you've been told how wonderful heroes are and how they'll always be there, after all they're heroes.

Sure, they may dictate what quirks are "in" and maaaybe they have a tad to much influence over your average person but they're licensed and your not.

Why question it?

Then one day everyone and everything you've known is just blown away. Heroes barge into your house and begin scrambling to get you and your family out of your house before something happens, they dont tell you what.

It is a sloppy and hurried effort, your life's belongings tucked into a small carryon if you're lucky and some plastic bags if you're not. They tell you it's probably only temporary and you'll be back to normal shortly.

Then the nearby Hospital blows up. You and your family can only watch as heroes flee from the scene, some rising into the sky, others sprinting like hell. You barely make it out alive yourselves.

Within minutes everything is gone and it's not until the fightings iver that you hear it. You hear people (you think it's your neighbors) pleading in pain underneath the rubble, a little girl can be heard sobbing somewhere in the torn landscape.

Everything's been torn upside down.

And the heroes, the poeple you've depended on your whole life...

They quit. They say they need to find another line of work.

Is that what you are to them!?. Just another line of work, a number on a tally!?.

Worse still. The NUMBER ONE HERO has just been exposed by his presumed to be dead son for being a child beating, wife trafficking, eugenist with an implication that some, if not all of his children were made against the mother's will.

The current Number 2 murdered a man for the "greater good" (what even is "good" anymore).

The people who were supposed to protect you are quitting in droves, leaving vast portions of city to fall to villains and are refusing to take any responsibility for their negligence and poor planning that made an already bad situation worse.

Oh, also the single most dangerous villain in history has broken out of Tartarus and multiple prisons have been destroyed leading to further destruction.

This is then followed by a "blackout" period. Heroes give zero insight into what they're doing or what their plan is. Mutant discrimination is running wild, support gear is flooding the streets and any protests are being silenced.

So I'll ask you again, how do you react?.

Point 4: Hubris

Over all the entire operation was a complete and utter failure. I see alot of people giving the civilians flack for their strong reactions, but honestly I can't blame 'em.

The issue is Hori paints the narrative to minimize the damage towards the heroes. (For example he characterizes one of Enji's critics as a snobby shut-in surrounded by trash bags). We only ever see the worst aspects of the civilians because Hori has consistently failed to delve into anything beyond surface level emotion/themes.

Eri is a good example, she should be a very different character. She should be allowed to show her trauma and all the "ugly" emotions and baggage that come with that, we as the audience should see the lasting impact being killed repeatedly has had on her.

For example, Eri should be very adverse to touch. A problem that started with her father and was worsened by Kai.

She should be expressing her trauma through play (think reenacting her "surgeries" on dolls)

She should be distrustful and even cold (especially after Mirio abadoned her).

Her inability to smile might stem from a lack of viewing her self as equal to others, viewing herself as more of an object than human being.

But do we ever see this. No.

Because Hori doesn't let us. He simply as a writer, cannot appropriately handle or even seem to grasp complexity and every part of the story suffers because of it.

With the civilians it's no different and as a result Hori whether intentionally or not, twists the narrative to make them seem unreasonable.

This doesn't help when from what we've seen a shocking amount of MHA's main cast are drenched in hypocrisy. The only experiences we've had with the civilian population is through Shigaraki's backstory (bad) Toga's parents (very bad).

It's just not a good look.

Conclusion:

Over-all, the Raid and by extention the war was a mess in every aspect and I personally think the story would have been better off doing something else.

The time wasted here could have gone to any number of things (how about fleshing out the non existant world building) but I honestly believe that it would have been subpar regardless, it's all to apparent Hori had no idea where he wanted the story to go. That can be seen as far back as everything post MVA.

Just, what a mess.

[jo-harrington]

Developmental Achievement (A Store Manager Verse Story - Steve Harrington/Reader)

Previous Part: Incremental Planning

Pairing: Steve Harrington x HawkTheaterManager!Reader

Summary: Steve messed up and now he needs to fix things if he wants to win you back, hopefully for good.

Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. November through January 1986, Steve and Robin work at Scoops (OR DO THEY?), Reader works at The Hawk Theater (formerly at Dippin' Dots AND Wicks and Sticks; you job hop...it's a thing), Relationship Break, Hopeless [Romantic] Steve, Tie in with the Store Manager Verse

Note: So this is the end of our Steve saga of the SMVerse, kind of wrapped up in a neat little bow. Is it the best? Probably not, but it's silly and corny and cheesy and I needed all of those things yesterday and instead of RELEGATING IT TO MY FIRST FAVE...I'll inflict it upon Stevie. Tagging @dr-aculaaa and @loveshotzz because COME AND GET HIM. (@deathbecomesthem ...and a possible Easter Egg?)

You can find my masterlist here for more fics featuring pretty much exclusively Eddie Munson content but also a little Steve.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

Steve Harrington fucked up.

Ok. Ok. That’s not right.

Steve Harrington really fucked up.

If he was being honest, he always seemed to fuck up when it came to you, his...well...he could really only call you his ex now, couldn't he?

From rivals in ice cream where he missed every sign that you might like him, to sickeningly-sweet dates around Hawkins because he was being too boring of a boyfriend, and finally to Thanksgiving Dinner with his parents where he absolutely stuck his foot in his mouth.

He thought making a joke about your job-hopping was funny--from Dippin' Dots to Wicks and Sticks to KB Toys, it's lucky you decided he was worth sticking around for--but it only put you under his parents' scrutiny.

He got an earful as he walked you to your car after dinner was over. You stayed a few steps ahead of him until you got to the driver's door and turned to him with tears in your eyes.

"That was embarrassing, Steve," you said through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry, I..." he was at a loss for words, especially making you cry. As strong as you were, you never seemed to be flustered at all; what was happening? "I thought it was a joke. We always laugh about it. I’m gonna work at scoops forever and you’re gonna work everywhere else."

"But it’s meeting your family, you shouldn't joke about...about what a huge flake I am that you're lucky I don't jump from boyfriend to boyfriend just like I go from job to job. They're never gonna look at me the same way again. You only get one first impression."

"You shouldn't worry about what they think about you. I've stopped caring about what they think about me too."

It went back and forth before you threw your hands up and got in the car.

You didn't even kiss him goodnight.

Then sometime during Black Friday weekend, you stopped by Scoops before your shift and broke up with him.

"It was nice, Steve," you said, barely able to look at him. "But uh...I don't know. I need to know I'm with someone who doesn't think I'm some kind of joke."

He chased after you, even with his manager screaming that if he left he'd be fired, and begged you to reconsider.

You didn't.

He watched you ride up the escalator to head to your shift.

And when he got back to Scoops, he was actually fired.

What a great day.

---

Of course, Robin quit as soon as Steve was fired.

"Can't stick it out without you dingus," Robin announced as she approached him in the parking lot shortly after, tossing her hat at him. "And you can't have Scoops without...Stoops. Get it? Because you're stupid. Scoops? Stoops? Stupid. Why aren't you laughing?"

It was pretty funny.

But Steve was heartbroken.

Unemployed and heartbroken.

Robin insisted that she could land them both jobs at Family Video--

"Keith hates me. Pretty sure he calls me Sleeze Harrington."

“Well he loves me. I can vouch for you, come on."

--but Steve was sure that he would have a better chance at winning you back if he kept working at StarCourt.

What an epic bust that was.

Not the job part.

Well, that too.

Most of the stores near the toy store were done hiring seasonal help, and the best that he could land was a temp job as a Mall Santa.

On the upside, it meant that he could walk around the mall on break in his Santa suit and watch you with you none the wiser until he could beg you to take him back.

"It sounds creepy," was the unfortunate response from Steve's newest friend and personal relationship expert, the Claire's Store Manager.

He stopped by before his shift to pick up some of his lucky strawberry lipgloss to make sure he was very pouty and puckery for the moment you realized you'd made a mistake...and after effectively getting it all over his fake beard, the Manager decided to take pity on him and listen to his woes while helping him clean up.

"I'm gonna need to start charging you for advice," she laughed and wiped him off with tissues from the ear piercing station. "You seriously need it if that's the idea you came up with."

"You're a real Lucy Van Pelt," Steve deadpanned. "I'll buy you cookies one day just...please...help me."

"Have you tried just talking?" she questioned. "Wasn't that your problem in the first place? Way back when? You didn't communicate."

"But they're mad at me, they don't want to talk. And I need to fix it."

"Then give them some space, and try again, ok? Give it a week or two. They probably just need time to cool down, sounds like you really hurt their feelings."

"And if they can't forgive me?"

"Then you move on," she sighed. "Sometimes things just don't work out and even though it doesn't make you feel ok, you have to be ok with it."

So he waited a week.

A week was long enough, right? His own personal Lucy said so.

He chose a day he wasn't scheduled at Santa's workshop and waited for you in the food court where he knew you'd seek refuge during your lunch break, just like the two of you had taken your breaks together. He wore his best polo, made sure his hair was perfect, applied some of his lucky lip gloss and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

But you never showed up.

Not during your usual break. Not an hour later. Not even at the supposed end of your shift.

Maybe you were working a double?

So as much as he told himself he wouldn't follow you because it was creepy, he ran up the escalator two steps at a time to KB Toys where you would surely be.

Or not.

"They don't work here anymore kid," your former manager sighed after he asked about you. "I'm sorry."

"W-well where did they go?" he asked frantically, pathetically.

"Didn't say, not really my business to ask. Put in their notice...right after Black Friday, actually. Right before the Christmas rush too."

If he was heartbroken before...his heart was just gone now. Obliterated. Non-existent.

Along with any hope of trying to win you back.

---

Steve stuck through the rest of the holiday season at the mall; you could call him many things but a quitter wasn't one of them. However, come the new year, he needed a new job again, and he took up Robin's offer to butter Keith up and get in at Family Video.

He was offered an opening key shift, a decent employee discount, a better paycheck than both Scoops and Santa's workshop combined, and unlimited access to choose the movie playing overhead whenever he was in charge.

"You're lucky the other person I was about to hire bailed," Keith said after his first week. "Got a job at the Hawk or something. Can't blame 'em. Free popcorn and all that."

The distraction helped the heartache.

Surprisingly, he got a few phone numbers. Nothing ever came of them, nursing a broken heart the way he was, but it was nice. He'd been tempted to call you, several times in fact, but in the end he just decided fate knew better. Still, he denied himself the role of Hawkins' resident heartthrob.

"Are you hearing yourself right now?" Robin scoffed at him as he scrubbed off yet another phone number that had been written onto the palm of his hand by one customer or another. "Resident Heartthrob. Seriously? Ok Cassanova."

"What else do you wanna call it?" he asked, holding his arms out helplessly. "They can't resist the Harrington Charm, even when I don't want to use it."

"It's because you keep putting on sappy romance movies when you're here. Girls like that shit, a guy in touch with his feelings."

"First Nancy and then..." he trailed off, thinking about you sadly. He had to let you go.

"Are you kidding me?" Robin hit him upside the head and shoved him out of the way so she could start processing returns. "You can't even say their name? You need to get over it."

"It's hard."

"Were they your soulmate or something?"

"Robin, all men must...have someone who will never take advantage of a love bright as the sun."

"Love?"

"Someone to stand beside them."

"You're quoting the Monkees now."

"They were the one," Steve lamented. "And now they're--"

He trailed off as his eye landed on something outside the window.

"They're what? On the Last Train to Clarksville?" She made a buzzer noise. "Try again."

"No they're walking in right now, act casual," Steve announced and started typing away at the keyboard of the computer.

The doorbell chimed as you set foot inside Family Video and Steve glanced up to get a look at you for the first time in weeks.

Ok, so maybe he was being a little pathetic with this heartache.

Maybe it wasn't that bad for him.

It was pretty bad.

But when your eyes met, Steve could just tell...it had to have been just as bad for you too.

Because he knew you by now. How many months had you been dating? Dates and lunches and breaks spent together. Was it love? Maybe. Probably. Even if it wasn't, it was damn near close to it. So he knew the way your eyes lost their sparkle a little bit when they landed on him, knew the way your shoulders sagged, knew the words that refused to escape your lips when you saw him.

Stevie Stew. Pookie Bear. Dumb dumb. All the pet names he missed too.

Robin greeted you with an exaggerated lengthening of your name and a pointed glare shot directly at Steve.

"Hey Rob," you cleared your throat and offered a strained grin. "How are you? Didn't know you were working here."

Your eyes shifted to Steve and then back to Robin.

"Either of you."

"I've been here since before Christmas," Robin leaned against the counter as you approached and thumbed over her shoulder at Steve. "And of course dingus over here just couldn't stay away."

"You're the dream team, of course," you nodded. "Scoops Troop. But, uh, not anymore I guess."

"We're workshopping a new name."

The two of you laughed and then you excused yourself to peruse the shelves for a new movie. Robin even offered to show you some new tapes with a low pull it together hissed at Steve as she rounded the counter to show you a new display.

Steve willed himself to say something, Do something. Anything. Say hello, walk over and suggest a new movie, say that it was good to see you, that he missed you.

Communicate, god damn it.

But he was frozen.

Even more when you and Robin returned a few minutes later debating which John Hughes flick you should get: Sixteen Candles or Weird Science.

"You could always get both," Steve suggested, the words rocketing out of his mouth violently as you reached the register.

"Uh, yeah, actually..." you nodded. "That's a good idea, I think I will."

Steve typed in all the information and got your rentals rung out, and as he asked if you wanted candy or popcorn, you laughed.

"You know what, I'm actually all candy and popcorn'd out," your smile faltered when your eyes met again. "I'm...uh...you know."

"Know what?" Steve asked dumbly.

"I'm over at the Hawk," you nodded. "New shift manager and everything. I was...I was actually supposed to work here when Mr. Phillips offered me a dollar more at the theater. And the popcorn didn't hurt."

"I didn't know that," Steve shook his head.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

You and Steve stared at each other for another long, drawn out minute.

You opened your mouth to say something--

"Can we ta--"

--before Steve, idiot that he was, pushed your tapes across the counter at you and practically shouted at you.

"Your rental's due back on Friday by 2pm, enjoy."

Robin gave him the silent treatment for the rest of his shift.

---

"Do I show up with flowers?"

"Flowers?"

"What's that voice, you don't like flowers?"

"Not really."

There he was, back at Claire's the following day, sitting in the chair at the Ear Piercing Station as the manager restocked the jewelry wall. A bag of fresh chocolate chip cookies from the food court sat on top of the station and the two of them periodically reached in for a treat as Steve regaled her with his tale.

"I know they miss me, I just know it."

"Then why did you freeze up?"

"Because I'm an idiot. Help. Please."

So far, the manager hadn't really been able to offer him much advice outside of a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. Especially now as he planned a way to win you back.

"Everyone likes flowers," Steve argued skeptically. "You're telling me Munson hasn't gotten you roses or something?"

The shop bell rang, a chain rattled, and leather squeaked, and instead of the manager answering with a gentle tone and an eye roll like she'd been doing all day, Eddie Munson himself chimed in.

"If I was a jealous man," he started with an exaggerated glare at Steve. "I would say you're here flirting with my girlfriend."

Eddie "The Freak" Munson was somehow the Dad to Steve's reluctant Mom when it came to the ragtag gang of Freshman that they shared role-model-ship of, and because of that their previous animosity had been turned into some kind of...agreement.

Could Steve say Eddie was a bad guy? No. Was he still wondering why the kids liked him so much? Yes. Could the two of them get along? Up for debate.

Which was why Steve wasn't so concerned when the metalhead was feigning some kind of intimidation tactic; they had an agreement that went from unspoken to shaken on come the new year: No fighting in front of the kids, no making fun of each other's hair, no stealing Eddie's girlfriend.

"What are you doing here?" the manager laughed at the two boys antics and crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't you have school?"

"I came to ask you a very important question," Eddie smiled a lovesick smile at her, Steve momentarily ignored. "But imagine my surprise when someone else is sitting in my spot."

"It's not your spot. And I'm giving him advice."

"Again?"

"He's hopeless, apparently."

"I'm right here," Steve exclaimed and got to his feet, ready to leave. "I didn't come here to be made fun of. I actually need help."

He didn't like the way Eddie clapped him on the shoulder, or steered him out of the store, or gave him a patronizing smile.

"Listen," Eddie started once they were out of the store. "I know you're having some issues but seriously, you need to get your act together."

"And how should I do that Munson? I've thought of everything and your girlfriend keeps telling me that my ideas are stupid."

"I'm sure they are stupid," Eddie nodded. "I trust her judgment."

"What would you do to win her back? If you fucked up?"

"I wouldn't fuck it up, Number one," Eddie smirked. "Even at the risk of jinxing myself there. Rule Number One in the Munson Relationship Doctrine, don't fuck it up."

"Well that page is missing from the Harrington Relationship Doctrine, because I clearly went and did that."

"Rule Number Two," Eddie continued, ignoring Steve. "Is by making a grand and personal gesture. Didn't you ask Nancy Wheeler to Junior Prom by having the cheer squad perform a routine just for her a few years ago."

"Yeah that took a lot of begging," Steve nodded eagerly, already formulating a plan. "But I could do it again if I--"

"I heard she hated it," Eddie shot a sour expression. "So no, not that."

"Then I'm out of ideas," Steve admitted.

Eddie threw his head back and groaned, and Steve was sure he heard him say something along the lines of and Buckley called him Hawkins Heartthrob.

"Listen," Eddie recovered, tightened his grip on Steve's shoulder with one hand, and jabbed him in the chest with the other hand. "Don't ever say that I didn't do anything for you ok? Where does your friend work? The Hawk?"

"How do you know that?"

"News travels fast when you're friends with 5 freshmen and Robin Bigmouth Buckley ok?" Eddie shook his head. "Now listen to me. Your friend works at the theater? Showing movies right? And what are movies made of?"

"Film?"

"Sure. And the kids...Dustin...what club is he part of at school?"

"Uh...Hellfire Club. Chess Club..."

"AV Club," Eddie insisted with an exaggerated nod. "And where do you work?"

"Family Video."

"And what is in a vid--you know what?" Eddie groaned. "I don't have time for this. How are you not putting two and two together Harrington?"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be putting together."

"What they all have in common?"

Steve took a second as Eddie leaned closer expectantly, as though trying to transmit his idea through osmosis because Steve was just not getting it.

Until the osmosis was successful and Steve had his lightbulb moment.

"Oh!"

"There you go!" Eddie's face stretched with a feral grin. "I see the wheels turning. Ladies and Gentleman, I believe a plan is underway."

---

It took a little more than a week, the combined efforts of the AV Club and Hellfire Club, and a good chunk out of Steve's paycheck for supplies and to bribe them all and the projectionist at the Hawk.

But the plan was in place.

Steve found out your schedule, bought tickets for a 5pm show of Hey there, It's Yogi Bear.

There couldn't have been a worse movie to choose, but it was the only one he could buy out the theater for.

He showed up to the Hawk promptly at 4:30, got his soda and popcorn, and hung around the lobby impatiently. He was pretty sure he'd ruined his hair from the number of times he'd run his hand through it.

Slowly his friends started to filter in: The Sinclair kids and Max, Mike Wheeler and Will Byers with Nancy and Jonathan in tow--that wouldn't be nerve-wracking or embarrassing at all if the plan didn't work out. At some point, Eddie's van pulled up in front of the Theater and Dustin, Jeff, Gareth, and Dave all walked in bickering about nachos and sour worms, before Eddie and the Claire's Store Manager followed suit, Eddie telling his friends to shut up.

Steve was beginning to sweat at 4:55 when Robin ran in, hand in hand with a new girlfriend that he'd seen waiting for Rob when he dropped her off at school in the morning.

That he'd been maybe a little too in his own head about you to hear Robin rave about for the past few months. He really did feel bad about that.

"Thought you were gonna be late," he accused Robin.

"Me? Late?" she beamed. "Never. Do we have time to grab candy?"

"Just go," he waved them off, then shot Robin a secret thumbs up as she pointed to her crush excitedly, then got nervous when he spotted you across the lobby, talking to one of the ushers.

You faltered when you locked eyes with him, waved back when he sent you a little hello, and then you scurried into the box office.

He allowed himself one more moment of heartache. Then at 5 on the dot, Steve entered the theater and sat in the back row, as close to the projection window as he could get.

The previews started, and for a moment, Steve looked at all his...well, they were all his friends now, weren't they? Here to support him on this hare-brained endeavor. He suddenly felt loved in a way that he didn't think he'd ever felt before, not like this.

The only thing missing was you.

Suddenly the projection started skipping, and he could hear his accomplice in the projection booth shuffle around, then a door opened and closed.

"And so it begins," Eddie said dramatically a few rows ahead.

"Shut up, you're gonna give it away!" Dustin shouted at him.

Everyone started chattering until Steve sent them all a shhhhh when he heard the projection booth door open and shut again and your voice, clearly irritated, started speaking.

"What do you mean it isn't working? Did you try...I don't know...unplugging it and plugging it back in? Re-roll the film and try it again...here let me see..."

Steve felt himself shake with anticipation as the projector started up again, but the images on the screen were decidedly not Yogi Bear and Boo Boo.

"What the hell?" you exclaimed.

On the screen were pictures of you and Steve, all the polaroids and film strips from the little Photo Booth at Starcourt that you'd taken together over the months of your relationship. The ticket from the aquarium that he'd saved. The note you'd pinned to his back one morning when you hugged him before his shift that said "Steve Harrington is a loser."

He heard your snort as the scene panned up to a shot of himself sitting at the desk in his room writing a letter, shot on the Wheeler family's camcorder. The Steve on the screen looked up into the camera and startled.

"Oh," he laughed. "Didn't see you there. It's been a long time, hasn't it? I uh...I really wanted to talk to you and figured there wasn't a better way than writing a letter."

"Nerd," you called through the projection window, garnering laughs from his friends.

The scene faded to Movie Steve in a turtleneck skipping rocks at Lover's Lake in a very artistic shot that Director Dustin was apparently "proud of."

"But a picture is worth a thousand words so I'm pretty sure a video is worth a million." Movie Steve said your name sadly and looked deep into the camera. "I messed up, I was an idiot and a jerk and only took my own feelings into consideration when I made that joke to my parents. I don't care how they felt about you because I'm past the point of caring how they feel about me. My screw ups.

"And unfortunately I made the biggest screw-up of my life that night. I might not care what they think about me...but I care what you think about me."

The scene changed once again, Movie Steve leaning over the counter at Family Video filling out a form on a clipboard.

"There are a million better movies out there than this one you're watching right now Honey, but none of them are able to show just how truly sorry I am, and how much I miss you. I know that we still need to talk things out in person but I hope this shows how much I'm willing to put in the work so you'll forgive me."

A few rows ahead, he could hear Eddie speak along with Movie Steve, he leaned into his girlfriend and said "I wrote that line. Pretty good, right?"

"Uh huh," she pushed his head away from her. "Sap."

Eddie turned back to look at Steve and shot him a thumbs-up.

The scene changed one last time to a panning shot of Steve walking out of StarCourt mall towards his car.

"This is your chance to decide now. I wouldn't blame you if you chose never to talk to me again. I'll wait outside once your shift is over, but I'll respect your choice either way. I miss you Honey, and I love you."

Movie Steve got in the car and drove away into the sunset, only for the camera to pan over to Corroded Coffin playing a sweet ballad that Steve knew was your favorite.

The screen faded to black and the audience erupted into applause before the real previews resumed and the eventual movie.

Steve listened intently for some sign of life from the projection booth, but aside from a few footsteps and the door opening and closing again, there was nothing.

--

After the movie was over and all of his friends went their respective ways, Steve sat by his car until the end of your shift. When the last lights of The Hawk marquee finally turned off and the employees all started filing out, he knew he was holding his breath.

The last person out of the building was you, and as you turned around and spotted him, you stopped in your tracks.

Just like the other day at Family Video, it was a standoff between you and Steve, and although Steve wished that you would just come running into his arms to kiss him, insisting your forgiveness, he knew things were never that easy.

"That, uh...was something," you finally broke the silence.

"It was, wasn't it," he agreed.

"Was that your idea?" you asked. "Pretty sure those were all your friends in there."

"Yeah I bought out the whole theater."

"You bought...seriously?"

"I wanted to make sure you weren't embarrassed...in case anyone else saw."

"And I wouldn't be embarrassed by your friends?" you scoffed.

"Well they all helped me make it so I think I was more embarrassed asking them all for help than you." You let out a long sigh and put your face in your hands and Steve started talking rapid-fire. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I know that sucks when...when I already did. But I promise I'll do better. I'll be better. I'll be anything you need me to be, I just...I need you back."

You said something but it was muffled by your hands.

"What?"

"I said," you pulled them away and looked up at him with watery eyes, and he felt his heart drop again. "Do you really love me? You said so...at the end of that...whatever that was."

"I mean...yeah I guess I do."

"You guess?" you laughed.

"I do!" Steve said with more confidence this time. "I do love you. I'm...sorry I didn't say anything sooner."

"I'm sorry you didn't either," you muttered. You closed the distance and grabbed the lapels of Steve's jacket in your hands, as though you were about to shake him. "Do you know...the real reason I was upset?"

"There's...a real reason?" he asked.

"Why I broke up with you."

"Oh. Uh...no."

"I mean," you took a great breath of confidence. "Yeah I was mad because you made me seem like a joke to your parents on Thanksgiving, and I know...I know their opinion doesn't mean that much to you. But after I left it got me thinking...what if you made a joke like that...because I was a joke. And maybe thats why nothing was ever coming of our relationship because it was just...you didn't care about me. You didn't...love me, the same way I loved you."

Steve felt the invisible hand clench around his heart; it was like Nancy all over again.

"Loved?" he whispered weakly, the sense of deja-vu undeniable. "Honey..."

"So I had to end it. To protect myself. And I took a long hard look at myself when I got to work. The what? Third job I had since I started at StarCourt? I realized that maybe...I was a joke. Maybe you were right, that I was...this job-hopping, unreliable...thing and that's why I quit. And I started looking...for a management position somewhere so I could be better."

"But you were already great," Steve assured. "Can we get back to that...loved thing?"

"Steven..."

"Sorry."

"Let me finish."

"Ok."

"And you know what I found out since I've been here?" you asked. "I...kind of hate working at a movie theater. And I need to leave again. I'm...I'm a free spirit. I can't be tied down to one kind of job. I saw an ad in the paper for an arts and crafts instructor at the Park District and I sort of wanna quit before applying, I would be great at that."

"You would," Steve laughed, still unsure of where this was going.

It was always a bit of a rollercoaster with you though, and it was another thing about you that he loved.

"So...tonight seeing all of that," you waved an arm behind you at the theater. "Seeing you...realizing that you loved me all along...I don't know. I don't need your love to keep being who it is that I am, it's just nice to know that you love me, the same way I love you."

"Love me?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah."

He whispered your name desperately and then cupped your face in his hands.

"I love you Honey."

"I love you too, Steve Harrington."

You pulled him into you and smashed your lips to his. The heartbreak faded away from both of you, and in its place, undeniable love and affection for each other.

Steve Harrington might have been many things, he might have fucked up.

But he was happy to say he was someone who could fix it.

With love.

[duhnova]

fragile heart - kwon soonyoung

ex!soonyoung x fem!reader

word count: ~5.5k (look... i wish i could tell you)

kinktober masterlist

warning(s): smut under the cut!! (mdni), pwp, angst!!!, lovers to ex’s to lovers????, mentions/flashback? of the breakup, mentions of arguing, lots of crying, a lot of struggling emotionally and mentally, they're just heartbroken for a good chunk of this, soft sex????, make up sex, unprotected sex, creampie, a little praising, reader is called good girl & pretty girl & baby, soonyoung spits in readers mouth, cuddling after sex, let me know if i forgot anything! - don't mind grammatical errors/typos (i tried)

you and soonyoung had been together for a little over two years, romantically at least, you’ve known each other for far longer. so when you two had broken up three weeks ago it threw all of your friends and family for a loop. what could’ve possibly happened between you two to make you go from madly in love to strangers in the matter of seconds? 

it was simple really, well it wasn’t but you liked to think it was. you and soonyoung had been happy together ever since the beginning but recently, following his return from a long business trip, everything seemed to change. he was more distant with you, albeit his work schedule was hectic but he normally made time to at least sit and have dinner with you, so it was strange when he would text you a “sorry not making it tonight” minutes before you were to pull dinner out of the oven. it broke your heart really, four weeks he spent abroad attending business meetings with his colleagues only for him to come home and barely offer you a small “i missed you” with a kiss on the forehead. it was sweet at first, you thought, until that's all you got. the “i love you”’s were few to none, the skinship was nonexistent and you were lucky to hear his voice over the phone as he would drift off to sleep. 

when the time came for you to confront him about what was going on you were met with nothing but agitation and irrational words thrown at you out of anger (from soonyoung). the fight didn’t last long, and sure you could’ve picked a better time to bring it up, but it was the first time you saw him in person since the night he came home. all of the tears and yelling still rung in your ears as you remember how he slammed the door on his way out of your apartment, the sting of the breakup finally settling in when you had realized what you’d done. 

a lot of people liked to speculate that it was soonyoung that broke up with you, with his easy to anger self, but in reality it was the other way around. you were just so tired of waiting around for him to come to his senses, and it was hurting you to have your heart neglected the way it was. so in the heat of the argument you had thrown out your thought on breaking up. 

“we’ll maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore if you're gonna be more in love with your job than you are me!” you hadn’t realized what you had said then, not even when his face fell for a second and the room went quiet. Not even when he cleared his throat and mumbled out a quiet “maybe we shouldn’t.” before he got angry again, not at you but at himself, for letting it get as bad as it did. it took him leaving, the sound of his tires screeching out of the parking lot for you to fall to your knees, silently begging him to come back. 

fast forward a couple weeks and you find yourself sitting in your car, shaking as you pep talk yourself into getting out and going up to soonyoung’s apartment, where you would hopefully retrieve all of your stuff without having a breakdown in front of him. with a quiet “you got this.” you finally step outside, locking your car you make your way to the front door, punching in a code that unlocked it. 

soonyoung didn’t bother changing his code, hoping that you would show up one day and tell him it was all a joke, that you still loved him and wanted him back. yet you never came. he would never admit to anyone how much he missed you, how badly the break up hurt him, his pride being too big for him to ever show any type of weakness like that (unless it was in front of you).

he wanted to text you, call you, see you, but he couldn’t bring himself to face you. he had a thousand things he wanted to say, all drafted in his notes, and all of them starting of with an “i love you” cause god knows he didn't say it enough in the weeks leading up to your breakup. He knew he fucked up, he knew exactly what he did. he let his work consume his life, sure he was doing it so he could get that raise his boss has been teasing before the holidays set in, but he failed to let you in on his plan. 

he failed to love you, failed to take care of you and your heart and now he’s paying the consequences. the nights have been long and sleepless for him, and everytime he stared up at the fading glowing stars on his ceiling (that you two put up as a joke when he first moved in there) he couldn’t help but cry, thinking about how he’ll never have you in his life again, not even as a friend. 

that's actually where soonyoung found himself now, laying in his bed staring at the fake stars, his cheeks covered in dried tears. when he woke up an hour ago to see a text message from you he felt ecstatic. he jumped up immediately and opened it with a smile on his face only for it to fall instantly, his heart sinking to the bottom of his stomach. ‘I want to come pick up my stuff please.’ was all it said and after sending a quick ‘of course’ soonyoung threw his phone across the room and sobbed into his pillow. 

it felt like hours passed while he waited for you, he thought of every possible thing he could say to you, wondering if he should say anything at all. maybe he should just drop to his needs and beg you to forgive him, or he should run down the street to the flower shop he would go to for your anniversary gifts. maybe he should start on making the apartment at least presentable for you, the past weeks having been hard on him and he neglected to take care of his apartment. dirty dishes scattered the kitchen, last night's dinner sat out getting stale on the living room table and his room had piles of dirty clothes sitting everywhere. just seeing the state of his apartment he started to cry again because it made him think about how he treated you the same way. god he felt awful. 

you knew the layout of sooyoung's building like the back of your hand, you could navigate it blindfolded with a full bottle of soju in your system (like you did that time you both came back wasted from mingyu’s party and soonyoung thought it would be a good idea to cover your eyes while you both stumbled down the halls giggling and whispering to each other). even after the countless times you’ve been to his apartment, you still found yourself getting off at the wrong floor. you stand in front of the elevator for a little while, a dazed expression on your face, you didn’t want to be here but you had to see him. you had to get your things you kept telling yourself but it was all a ruse, you wanted an excuse to see him, to make him see how bad off you were without him and hopefully, maybe, make him realize he actually did love you more than his job. you hoped he would drop to his knees and beg your forgiveness (that you knew you would give him too quickly), hoped he would hug you and kiss you and tell you he’ll never let you go again. 

the elevator opened again behind you, a resident stepping off and walking around you, effectively snapping you out of your daydream. watching the figure walk away you wondered if they were going home to a loving boyfriend or husband and that's when your eyes began to sting. cursing quietly to yourself you turn and catch the elevator doors before they fully close, you promised yourself you wouldn’t cry while you were here yet while you stepped back onto the elevator you had to swallow a sob. 

with a deep breath you push the top floor, the dread finally settling in when you realized you were only two floors away. your leg began to bounce as a pit formed in your stomach. you were really about to do this, years and years worth of memories that had been built in that apartment were about to be packed away into a garbage bag that you were just going to throw in your storage unit and never touch again. 

there's not enough words in the world for you to use to describe how much you hate all of this. as you stepped into the familiar hallway the world seemed to slow down a little. you remembered the first time you ever saw this place, you were terrified because he lived so high up and you still weren’t over your fear of heights then. it was almost like a ghost had touched you as the memories of soonyoung dragging you up onto the roof where an expensive patio set and fire table sat. the echoes of his laugh rang in your ears as he danced around with you telling you to keep your eyes on him and that he wasn’t going to let you fall (a quiet promise that if you did fall he would be there to catch you). it hurt to think about that now, how bittersweet the memory was as this would be your last time ever stepping foot in here again. and while you walked down the hallway, closer to his door, you let a single tear fall. 

his door was unmistakable, a worn out welcome mat sat in front of it along with a ceramic tiger that his friends had gifted him when he moved in. it was cute, how he still had it sitting out there despite the poorly glued on leg that broke when his friends got a little to rowdy while rough housing (yet he refused to throw it away and get it a new one “it was the first gift i got for the new place, it means a lot to me” he would say anytime something happened to it and he had to glue it back together). 

with a trembling hand you finally knock on the door, three little knocks, soonyoung said he could always tell it was you at the door based on how your knuckles rapped against the thick wood. just as you knocked you felt an immediate feeling of regret, maybe you weren’t ready to do this, maybe you needed more time. and just as you were making your mind up to just run away the door swung open. 

soonyoung stood there almost like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes had dark bags under them and his hair was sticking up in all directions. he was still wearing the clothes he had on from yesterday, he was too lazy to change and now the sweats were extra baggy and the shirt fit a little looser than normal. the two of you just stood there, staring at each other for a long time, neither of you could come up with anything to say.

“hi.” soonyoung finally mutters, his voice hoarse from crying all morning. with shaky hands he pushes the door all the way open and steps far out of your way to welcome you in. you don't trust your voice as you step into the apartment, kicking your shoes off and slipping your house slippers on, they were fluffy tigers to match the pair that he was already wearing, they put a bitter taste in your mouth but you couldn’t bring yourself to not wear them as you looked around at the state of his apartment. “are you hungry? thirsty?” he steps past you into the kitchen to quickly put dishes in the sink and throw garbage away so can’t see the extent of how bad it was, how bad he was. 

“i’m not hungry.”  you mumble, which only puts a frown on his face but he knows better than to push you to at least have something. “but water would be nice.” you really didn’t want to have water but you could already feel your throat drying up as you fought the tears. despite the condition it was in, the place was still very much him. expensive artwork from around the world decorated the walls, brightly colored blankets and pillows littered the black couches, and it smelled like apples and cedar which happened to be his favorite candle scent that you bought him for christmas four years ago and you always makes it a big deal to buy him a new one every year since. 

“here you go.” he breaks you out of your trance as he hands you a glass of water with four ice cubes in it, just how you like it. you couldn’t help the way your lips twitched into a smile as you whisper a quiet thank you before taking a sip. a surprisingly calm quiet had settled over you two as you stood there and drank the water, soonyoung looking at the ground as he wiggled his toes around to make the tigers on his feet move. 

“when did you get a tiger print rug?” you snorted quietly, finally realized the bright orange rug that sat under the dining room table.

“oh, seokmin bought, said it reminded him of me while he was out shopping with his mother.” soonyoung played with the hem of his shirt nervously. “is it stupid? i feel like it's too bright for the place and it just doesn't-” you cut him off.

“no!” you clear your throat to calm your voice. “no.. i don’t think its stupid, its very much.. you.” you offer him a smile, a genuine smile (something you haven't been able to do in weeks). it seemed to help calm all of soonyoung's nerves though as he smiled back at you and for a second he forgot that you two were broken up. however reality came crashing down on him like a tidal wave and his smile fell, a lump forming in his throat. you noticed his change in demeanor and you remembered why you were here in the first place. “right… i need to pack up my stuff.” you whispered. 

gently you hand your glass back to soonyoung who just holds onto it and watches you make your way down to his room. his heart was racing as he thought about how close you were, how you were within his reach yet so far away. this was the moment he had been waiting for, he wanted to make things right with you, tell you he really did love you, yet his feet wouldn’t move. it was like he was glued to the floor as he stared down the empty hall, his bedroom door wide open yet the only thing he could see was your shadow. 

“damn it soonyoung, get it together.” he whispers to himself as he finally steps forward, making his way to his room where he gently sets the glass on the coaster that you bought him after he ruined a nice wooden table from cupstains. it broke his heart to see you pulling things out of his closet to fold up and set on his bed, memories of you rummaging around and putting his clothes on played in his head. he allowed himself to live in the past for a little bit, not wanting to believe the present was real as he sits on the end of his bed watching you with love still in his eyes. 

it was hard for you to tell if he was looking at you or through you because everytime you would turn around to set something down he wouldn’t move an inch. it worried you a little, the bloodshot eyes, the dark bags he had under them indicated he wasn’t sleeping well, and it was hard to miss how he looked at you, even if you didn’t want to admit it. and so you don’t. you will yourself to keep pushing forward, ignoring the eyes that seemed to be permanently glued to you (which they were, even in a crowded house party soonyoung's eyes were always on you. if he was a compass you would be his north pole, he was always drawn to you and no one else).  

“you’re staring.” you whisper while setting a shoe box down, a pair of heels sat inside for when you would go out clubbing or to an event that required you to dress up for. 

“i’m sorry, is it making you uncomfortable cause i can stop.” his eyes were wide, he wasn’t expecting to get caught, he didn’t even think he was that obvious (not that he could think about anything else with you in front of him). 

“no it’s noot, it's just… distracting.” you sigh quietly, moving to sit on the bed, allowing the pile of clothes you accumulated to sit between you two. 

“distracting?” he tilts his head to look at you, his eyes scanning every inch of you, trying to burn you into his memory before he forgets what you look like (not that he ever could, even if heh somehow got amnesia he could never forget you). 

“yes.” you chew at your bottom lip, fighting really hard with the urge to spill exactly how you feel to him. it was always so easy to talk to him, the conversations came easy and they flowed for hours, even if you were having a simple conversation about gold fishes. it's just how soonyoung was, he could make anything into a four hour long discussion and it would never be boring. “i’m trying so hard to keep it together right now and having your eyes on me… it just makes me forget about why i’m here.” 

“then i guess i’ll never take my eyes off you, not if it means you’ll stay here a little longer.” his voice cracked. he was scared he said the wrong thing when you didn’t respond to him and just as he was about to ask if you were okay he heard a little sniffle come from you. “y/n?” he questioned worriedly, your name almost sounded foreign coming from him yet it was somehow comforting (for the both of you). when he realized you were actually full on crying he began to panic, he fell to his knees in front of you and gently grabbed your face, whispering what happened. 

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, a quiet sob following. “i’m so sorry i ruined us.” you begin to cry harder as he hushes you quietly, his own tears beginning to blur his vision. 

“oh no baby you didn’t ruin us i did.” he mumbled as he tried to wipe away all your tears. “i let my job consume my life, i neglected to take care of you the way i should have as your boyfriend, and i failed to make you feel loved.” tears began to fall down his face. “y/n i am so sorry, i’m sorry for pushing you away, for not telling you i loved you enough, for not making time for you, for everything.” he whispered as he rested his forehead against yours. the both of you quietly cried in each other's presence for awhile, it felt nice for you both to finally get all of that off your chest, and to be in each other's grasp. 

“i forgive you,” soonyoung couldn’t help but look at you with wide eyes, more tears threatening to spill after he finally managed to stop crying not even a minute ago. “i already forgave you the second you opened the door.” you couldn’t help but laugh through your tears. smiling and laughing quietly with you soonyoung lunged forward to kiss you hard on the lips, weeks and weeks of emotions flowed through him into you with just that one kiss. 

“i love you y/n,” he kisses you again, “so much,” and again “and i’ll tell you every single second of every single day for the rest of our lives to make up for lost time.” and again, this time a lot more passionate than the rest as he moves forward, gently toppling you over onto the bed without breaking the kiss. 

it felt surreal to be kissing him again, it almost felt like the first time all over again as you gingerly wrap your arms around his neck, tugging him closer to your body and tangling your fingers into the hairs at the base of his neck. it didn’t take long for the kiss to get more heated, your tongues swirling around one another as your teeth knocked together gently, the fight for dominance quickly turning into a desperate act to try and taste more of each other. 

“god i’ve missed you so much.” soonyoung groans against your lips as he finally pulls away enough to allow you to breathe. there was a thin line of saliva that connected your mouths and heh couldn’t help but lean forward to lick it off your lips, a smirk playing on his face when you nip at his tongue. 

“i’ve missed you too, more than i think you could ever imagine.” and with that you're tugging him back down to kiss him again, your hand settling farther up in his hair so you can have a better grip when tugging it. this kiss was a lot sloppier than the last, with a trail of drool dripping down your chin as soonyoung tries to push his tongue further into your mouth, wanting to feel every inch of you that he can. 

you make a quiet noise when he runs his tongue a little too close to the back of your throat for your liking but you let him continue to explore, much like what his hands are doing. they originally were originally holding onto your face and when he laid you down they had moved down to rest on the sides of your neck, now his finger tips are teasing under your shirt, begging to feel the smooth skin underneath. 

“can i?” he whispers, taking another break to breathe as he tugs gently at the end of your shirt. 

“yes.” you breathe out quietly. it’s the only thing you can really say before he's delving back in to kiss you, his cold hands pushing up under your shirt to map out your body. 

you moan quietly into his mouth when his hands finally come to rest on your boobs, giving them a little squeeze through your bra. it was easy to tell just how sensitive and touch deprived you both were by how easily your bodies reacted to each other. the second you had moaned soonyoung’s hips bucked against your lower stomach where you could feel his already hardening dick. soonyoung groans quietly at the friction befores he's pulling away from your mouth and pushing up to sit on his knees. 

“where are you going?” you pant quietly, watching him in a daze. 

“i’m staying right here baby, but these clothes aren’t going to do us any good soo be a good girl and strip for me real quick.” he was always soft with his demands, even now as he desperately threw his shirt off and kicked his sweats and boxers to the floor. despite the thousand times he’s seen you naked his breath still hitched when you layed back down on the bed, your legs spread open for him and your hair framing your face like a halo. “you never cease to amaze me with your beauty.” he whispers before settling between your welcoming legs that wrap around his waist instantly like they always did when he was taking too long. 

he smiles at you before leaning down to kiss you again, the angle making his dick push against your wet folds. soonyoung groans at the feeling as he starts to gently rock his hips back and forth, your juices making it easy for him to slide in between your lips. it was delicious how the vein on the underside of his dick dragged along your clit, dragging out quiet whimpers and moans as you rock your own hips trying to get more friction. 

“i’ve got you baby, don't worry.” soonyoung mumbles into your mouth before kissing you again. one of his hands reaches down between your bodies so he can grab ahold of his dick. with a couple jerks of his hand and a grunt he’s lining himself up at your entrance before he's slowly pushing into you. he takes his time, not wanting to hurt you as your pussy stretches around his dick. the stimulation was a lot for him to handle as he pulled away from the kiss to rest his forehead against yours, his eyes screwed shut and his mouth wide open at the feeling of you squeezing around him. “oh fuck.” he whispers, he’d never get tired of the feeling of being inside of you. your velvety walls hugged him perfectly and the tiny whimper you let out when he finally bottomed out was like music to his ears. 

“soonyoung,” you whine, the feeling of being so full was overwhelming as your heels dig into the small of his back. “it’s too much.” it's never been to much for you in the past, but in that moment with all the emotions you’ve been feeling and the lack of having him inside of you for almost two months, the burn of the stretch was slightly to much for you to handle as you wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders and dig your fingers into his back. you just needed to feel him closer and you would be alright. 

“shhh pretty girl, i got you.” he mumbles, he gives your waist a reassuring squeeze before he's rubbing your hip gently. “just relax and let me take care of you.” he kisses the tip of your nose before he’s slowly and carefully moving his face to nestle into the crook of your neck, allowing you to pull his body fully flush against yours. 

“fuck,” you gasp quietly when his dick shifts inside of you after pulling him to lay against you. the burn was a dull ache now so you experimentally rock your hips causing you and soonyoung to moan in unison. “please.” your voice shook from the pleasure.

“please what baby?” he whispers against your neck as he kisses it gently, his breathing a little labored as he tried so hard not to cum right then and there. 

“please move.” you whimper, digging your heels into his back harder to try and push him deeper into you. 

“since you asked so nicely,” he smiles against your neck. while still laying against your body, soonyoung begins to rock his hips. his thrusts are slow and deep as he takes his time to map out every ridge inside of you with his dick, listening to every sound you make so he can burn it into his memory forever (not that it wasn’t already burned into his mind, he just liked to memorize you over and over again). 

“need more youngie,” god that nickname drives him nuts when you use it in the bedroom, it's so innocent and sweet yet the way your pussy squelched right after you said it wasn’t. “please.” 

“fuck, you know i can’t say no to you baby.” he groans as he moves so hes hovering over you again, one arm on the bed and the other still gripping your waist. “i’ll give you whatever you ask for.” he grunts quietly before he picks up his speed, his hips slapping against yours violently as he zeros in on your g-spot,

your toes curl and your head leans back deeper into the pillows as you let out a string of whines and moans, your head going completely fuzzy from the pleasure. it was crazy how well soonyoung knew your body, even after so long apart from each other. and it was even crazier how he remembered exactly what to do to make you fall apart in seconds. 

“open that pretty mouth wider for me baby.” despite the relentless rhythm of sooyoung's hips rutting intoyours, you still managed to listen and open your mouth wider for him, you even went as far as sticking your tongue out (your body knew exactly what he was getting ready to do.) “good girl.” he groans loudly before he's taking his hand off your hip to grab your face, holding you still long enough for him to spit onto your waiting tongue. letting go of your face he watches you swallow his spit through hooded eyes, another loud groan leaving him when you stick your tongue back out to show him that you swallowed it all. 

soonyoung moves to rest his other arm against the bed, encasing you fully before picking up speed again. he was glad that he didn’t share a wall with his neighbor as the headboard began to slam against it, chipping away more of the paint (not that he cared, the little dent in the wall was two and a half years in the making and he was determined to not get his deposit back when he moved out of there). 

“close,” you gasp out between moans. “so close, please,” you moan louder. “dont stop.”

“i wasn’t dreaming about it.” he groans before leaning down to kiss you, effectively swallowing all your moans as he reaches down between your bodies to rub at your clit with his thumb.  the pressure was building up quickly in your lower stomach as you clenched harder around his dick, moaning louder into his mouth and scratch your nails harshly down his back (soonyoung always loved when you scratched him hard enough for it to sting, it reminded him of just how good he fucked you). 

“soonyoung!” you gasp loudy, a whiney moan leaving you as your orgasm comes crashing over you like a freight train. soonyoung continued to rub at your clit as his thrusts became sloppier, his own orgasm creeping up on him as he knocked his forehead against yours to rest it there. 

“fuck.” he almost whines as his hips still inside of you, his cum painting your walls white. in the middle of your post orgasm haze you were able to see sooyoung's face clearly, his eyes were screwed shut and his mouth was wide open as he pant quietly trying to catch his breath,  and despite the eyebags and the dried tears you couldn’t help but thing that he was the most prettiest person you had ever seen. 

you two stay like that for awhile, relishing in the fleeting pleasure of your orgasms while trying to regain your composure. with a quiet hiss soonyoung is pulling out of you and collapsing on the bed next to you, his arm going to slide under your neck so he can gently tug your head into his chest. 

“i love you.” he whispers, his heart racing quickly as he braces himself for what you could possibly say next. sure you forgave him and you two just had sex but that doesn’t mean you still loved him.

“i love you to soonyoung.” you tilt your head up to look at him, a soft reassuring smile on your face when you noticed his eyes looked terrified before they looked excited. with a huge smile on his face he's gripping your hair gently so he can tug you up to meet him halfway for a kiss. 

“will you be my girlfriend again?” he mumbles against your lips. 

“i thought us having makeup sex was us getting back together?” you laugh quietly as you kiss him again really quickly. “but yes, i will be your girlfriend again.” soonyoungs pout turned to a smile real quick before he's rolling you to over so he can lay on top of you. 

“i love you, i love you, i love you.” he sighs happily as he snuggles into your body, mumbling that he wants to stay like this a little while longer before you guys have to go wash up.  even after you two talked through everything later that night over dinner, your heart would still drop when he would have to leave for a business trip, scared that you would start this cycle all over again when he would get back. but soonyoung made it a part of his routine to call you everyday just to tell you he loved you (he very easily could've just texted it but he wanted you to hear him say it). and everytime he would come home from his trips he'd go straight to you, a bouquet of flowers in one hand and his suitcase in another. 

feedback + reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[banquetwriter]

୨୧ stupid expensive couch ୨୧

pairing: rookie!Leon Kennedy ♡︎fem + AFAB!Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡, not proof read, smut, feeling of abandonment, implied non aftercare, crying after sex (lol), just so much smut lmg

summary: ʚ after hooking up with your best friend once, you two have to finally admit your feelings ɞ

words: 5019

AN: This is a very OOC representation of rookie leon just leave me alone <3, HEAVILY inspired by this audio :>also consent is not specifically asked for in this fic however it’s implied reader and leon have hooked up before and consent and boundaries were set then, neither party was taken advantage of!!

⤾·˚ ༘ ◡̈ ⤾·˚ ༘ ◡̈

“Leon, why aren’t you eating more of your going-away cake?” you mumble through the sheer fullness you felt. Leon's face flushed red from the alcohol, he shakes his head furiously “You can’t keep feeding me this stuff! It has so much sugar in it I swear!” Leon commented pointing to it. “What? Scared you're gonna get fat and they're gonna turn you away at the door? You have to be fit to be a policeman you know.” you mumble, taking yet another sip of your drink. The alcohol seemingly scratches your throat on the way down. “Mmm fuck.” you mumble setting your drink down. 

Leon gives you a fake and dramatic scoff, “I'm not gonna get fat from some horrible “cheese-cake” he mumbles with air quotes. “Hey, what's with the quotes?” you ask, biting your lip slightly and tracing the rim of your glass. “This isn’t cheesecake, y/n! It’s just candy!” he tells you leaning back on your couch. 

Ugh, the couch, your boyfriend- well… ex-boyfriend bought it. It was always the same with you, going after guys who never usually meant much to you. It’s not like you wanted to use them, you just wanted to fall in love! In love with anybody else except for Leon, your best friend in the whole wide world. 

Your best friend was moving to fucking Racoon City for fucks sake. “Whatever Leon, how are you feeling?” you ask through a small giggle, tilting your head to the side. Leon looks up at you, his eyes slowly filling with thoughts. That's always something you have known about him, as expressionless as his face tends to be; you can always see in his eyes what's wrong. Your eye contact only holds for a moment before he looks down at the base of your coffee table. 

He lets out a deep sigh before looking up again, this time not at you. You could see it, he was searching for words. “I'm nervous I mean, they tell me to stay away from the place the week I'm about to start? What does that mean? I’ve already looked it up but I can't find anything online about it.” he rambles, standing up. 

The alcohol must have hit him… you let out a small giggle. “I meant the drinks, Leon,” you say eyes following his pacing. “Oh… well fine then. I’m barely even buzzed,” he says walking back over to the couch and sitting down. You smile looking down, Leon lets out a borderline pornographic moan as he lays back on the couch. “My god Leon!” you exclaim looking at him. 

He lets out a toothy grin, “Hey this couch is very comfortable… are you still paying this thing off?” He asks, sitting back up again, reaching for his drink. You open your mouth to tell him that you did not pay a penny for it and instead your ex-’boyfriend’ bought it for you because he was *going* to move in before you broke up with him. 

Leon doesn’t let you get a word out though, he moves the cup down from his lips and swallows. “Oh wait I forgot your boyfriend bought it for you heh, you little couch princess,” he mumbles the last part into the cup before drinking again. Ah Leon, ever the flirt. “No Leon I didn’t pay for the couch and me and *him* broke up,” you say avoiding his eyes and taking a swig yourself. This was not going to be an easy conversation. 

“Oh..” Leon's voice was quiet as he looked down at the table. No matter how drunk or unexpressive he may be, it was clear to you the disappointment and regret on his face. Your stomach suddenly swirled, maybe you shouldn't have eaten so much of that cheesecake and then used it to soak up alcohol. You quickly set the glass down nervously rubbing your sides. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know.” He mumbles, gesturing with his hands. “It’s ok Leon, honestly it's been a few months,” you confess, looking at him. You can feel a small anger bubble in him. “Fuck really? You wanna talk about it?” he asks scooting ever so closely. Your heart falls as he shifts forwards. Fuck you thought, booze was liquid confidence. You were feeling very confident, just dizzy. 

“No, not really,” you mumble feeling the heat from his body. He was so warm… I mean in a heated apartment in jeans and a sweatshirt… plus he was probably drunk right now. “You care, Leon?” you ask, a small amount of surprise seeps up through your throat and into your words. His eyebrows furrow. “Yes of course I fucking care. I mean it makes sense you two broke up I mean fuck it's getting pretty late, there are drinks and well he isn’t here you know? I wouldn't be comfortable letting you go have drinks with another guy late at night if we were dating.” he says, moving his elbows to his mid-thighs and using his hands to talk. 

He doesn’t seem to know what he is saying. You two dating, god it sounds like a bad nightmare being desperately in love with your best friend and him joking about dating you. You're not sure what to say, your mouth is drying up. “You couldn't have told me this when we called the other week?” he asks, getting loud. Fuck, no not the calls. The calls you two would spend together with each other for hours, desperately flirting with him even when you were ‘dating’ someone. 

Again you go to open your mouth but just like on the calls you can’t bring yourself to say anything, it would ruin it all. “I knew you weren’t doing in a good place but fuck y/n you don’t tell me anything anymore. I know what you said ok, about us being different after we did what we did but I thought we were still best friends!” he rambles, his alcohol fueling his anger. A raging fire that's been there for some time. 

‘After we did what we did’ are words you never wanted to hear tonight. It hadn't been your fault entirely; it takes two people to tango. But taking your best friend's virginity and then leaving before he even fell asleep after… you felt sick. You hadn't meant for it to happen, you didn’t want it to go down the way it did. You were barely giving him anything as he is near crying from happiness… The L bomb nearly slipped out. 

The memories from that night flooding back to you. Your drunk brain is finally losing the internal battle you fought with yourself. Finally pulling him in for a kiss. Telling him that it would change us. It didn’t seem to matter to him though. It was disappointing, for both of you… You only had the guts to go so far before you backed out.

Jerking him off then telling him you couldn't deal with anymore that night, letting him lay down, and then leaving him in that stupid hotel. You swallowed thickly being brought back to the present. A not-so-innocent Leon looking back at you. “Leon I-” you finally started your voice shaky, “No don’t ‘Leon’ me! Why don’t you tell me anything anymore? For Christ's sake, I didn’t even know you had broken up with your boyfriend. I know that dress y/n… when you get sad you buy things, for yourself or your apartment. If you bought something new you would have worn it tonight, for me but you didn’t. You’re wearing that fucking dress…” he points to you, you look down really it wasn’t anything bold. Very simple in fact. Just a tight black dress with a red streak on the side.

Your face heated up. God, he knew you so well. “I knew something was wrong because I saw all your new apartment decorations y/n, I saw them on the call ok? You would never normally buy this shit. I knew you were struggling and I couldn't bear to ask you if you were ok because I already knew the answer to that question. If I had asked you that question,” he leaned in forward. His breath was laced with sweets and liquor… “You would have lied and told me you were doing fine,” he says almost out of breath.

You were out of words watching him, he had stepped back now going back to his pacing. You bit your lip looking at him, he was waiting for you, To say something, anything you supposed. You couldn't keep disappointing him. “It’s always been the same for me, Leon! What else do you want to hear?” you question trying to ignore the sadness weighing on your chest. 

“Please talk to me y/n! You never talk anymore, you never tell me anything and it makes me wonder…” he starts and you can almost see tears in his eyes. “Wonder?” you ask. “Yes y/n wonder, do you ever talk about me anymore? I know we aren’t in school anymore but you still talk to people from school I know you do!” he almost shouts. God why? Why did he have to know you so well>

“Do you ever mention my name? Does anyone else mention my name? Ask how I am. What do you say y/n? Do you say ‘Oh Leon is doing great he is gonna be a cop!’ Is that what you say knowing you don’t know me anymore?” he asks chest heaving. Fuck he looked so pretty all worked up like this. You couldn't help but think about him like that. It’s how you got into this mess in the first place. 

The truth was you didn’t talk about him with anyone, no one except yourself. You couldn't bear it, saying anything about him that is. You would ruin things if you did. “Did you tell him about me? Your couch-buying boyfriend?” it was clear he was jealous as he always has been. He is a gentle person when he wants to be. Never telling you how when a guy would wrap his arms around you it made him sick. He never said it but you saw it in his eyes, you knew it was true. “Did you tell any of your ‘boyfriends’ about me? Huh? About how you fucked me?” he asks, his voice going quiet. 

His chest fell and rose. His anger flowed out of him. “Leon I’m so-” you try to stand up too, but again his eyes betray him. Guilt floods over his features. “No please I’m sorry I shouldn't have said all that, I know it’s not what you wanted to hear.” His voice was soft, unlike the borderline yelling from his a second ago. “You know I always promise myself I’m never gonna see you again, you know?” he asks, sitting down again. Your heart falls even deeper into your body. 

“I promise myself every time I leave here that this will be the last time. I will leave and never come back until you're marrying some stupid rich guy. Every time I see your name on my phone asking to call my heart fucking sinks. Because you have trapped me, and I can’t get out. I know that I can’t hold myself back when I see you. I will flirt and plead and beg for you even if you don’t see it. God I want you so fucking bad.” he mumbles, burying his face into his hands. 

Your heart is thumping. You're so scared, this is all you have ever wanted. Maybe you didn’t need to be so scared… “It always goes the same way for me, Leon,” you mumble, he peaks up at you moving his fingers from covering his eyes. Your head was spinning with nerves, your brain screaming at you not to tell him what you so desperately wanted to. Your heart was pleading for something else… and for the first time. You listened to your heart.

“I always fall for some stupid guy who turns out isn’t what I want so I freak out and break up with whoever it is. I never like the guys I date because, well I don't want to date them! I want to date you, so badly. No guy can ever replace you. And I’m so sorry I do this to you. This little cat-and-mouse game. I keep pulling you along for shit I know I shouldn't. I’m sorry for ever fucking you in the first place. I should have done it right… you looked so fucking perfect that night. You were just wanting to be loved by me and I screwed it all up. I got scared so I ran. It's what I always do.” you ramble letting your years-long feelings finally seep to the surface. 

Leon was still covering his face with his hands but you can tell by his dreamy eyes that he is happy. Of course, he is. “But I'm trapped too, I ran from you only to run right back. You never want to see me again because of the way I push and pull you.” you sit back down facing him finally. “Flirting with you because I can’t bear to let you go completely yet I can’t commit enough to be with you because I’m so scared. I would do anything to change that night, to give it my all, and love you the way you deserve. But I can’t go back. I can only try and fix what I have done now.” you had started crying. Your face is tear-stained. 

The room went silent minus your occasional sniffles and deep breaths. Leon slowly drops his hands from his face, a very big red blush dusting beautifully on his features. You give a small breathless chuckle licking your lips slightly. The silence seemed like it filled the room. A small tension sewing its way between the two of you. 

“Thank you. For uhh saying that. I thought about that night a lot since it happened. It felt like my dream was coming true but it wasn’t. Jesus, I even cried after you left. You must think I'm so pathetic.”  he mumbles wiping his hands on his face. Your face fell, “I don't think your pathetic Leon.” you say scooting next to him and grabbing his hands. 

His face looking at yours. “I'm so sorry for what I put you through, and you're very brave. I mean fuck, you want to risk your life to help others. You're Not pathetic for crying after I left. Ok?” you spoke in a hushed serious tone. That was a rare occurrence for you and Leon. He just smiled nodding slightly but you weren’t gonna have that. Your hand comes up to his jaw, “Ok?” you ask again, and he gives you a sheepish smile. “Yeah ok,” he mumbles, this Leon contrasted the one from earlier. He was mad or loud and he was happy. 

A tone seemed to have shifted between you too. “Do you think we should try that night over again?” you ask, letting your eye fall into a half-lidded pose. You lean towards him. His eyes widen ever so slightly, you could almost hear his heart rate increase. “What?” he asks. Oh how different this Leon was… so shy and cute. 

You smirk, pushing his arms over his head. You used the pressure your hands had to hoist yourself on his lap. “W-Hat are you doing? Why are you getting on my lap?” he whined, unconsciously bucking his hips as you slid onto him. “Shhh,” you whisper smirking, pressing your finger against his mouth. He gives you the most pathetic look staring up at you.  

You move your finger from his mouth, leaning down. Leon leaned forward, his lips meeting yours. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as a whine left his mouth. Your hand slowly moved to his neck squeezing it just a little. His hands found your hair entangling with his right hand while his left hand gripped your neck.

He was already getting worked up, his dick hardening underneath you. You moved back letting yourself catch your breath. “You told me you play a game of cat and mouse with me right?” he mumbled, biting his baby pink lips. “Good job listening,” you mumble in a condescending tone. Leon's eyes shift to an intense stare. 

“I wouldn't mind if we kept playing… you as the cat and me as the mouse?” he asks, his voice raising in pitch, batting his eyelashes. You smirk, “Yeah I think I can arrange that baby.” you say pushing yourself off of his lap and walking over into your room. Leon smirks watching you walk to your room. 

After a minute has passed you hear Leon’s voice from your living room. “What's taking so long?” you playfully roll your eyes. “Hold tight Leon!” you yell from, chuckling slightly. Leon shifts in his seat with anticipation. He couldn’t wait for whatever you had planned for him. He heard your soft patterns come out of your room and he turned his head. He saw you had a rope in your hand. “When the fuck did you get a rope?” he asks, looking at it. 

Your hand leaves the rope to land a smack across his face. Leon whimpers at the impact, “Fuck I’m sorry, you can tie me up.” he whines out bucking his hips. “Good boy,” you murmur, rubbing your hands against his face. “Can I get naked please?” he asks, trying to give you the most innocent eyes possible.

It seemed to have worked because you started pulling down his pants and boxers. He took this as a yes and took his shirt off. He was now completely bare sitting against the very comfortable couch. “Can I tie you up now?” you ask, admiring his body. “Fuck yeah you can, god I wanna be your whore so badly,” he whined. You raised your eyebrow at his enthusiasm. He put his hands behind his back for you. You push his head down exposing the back of his neck. 

You began tying his hands together and kissing his neck. “Ahh fuck.” he mumbles feeling the fibers burn his wrists. You fist a bit of the hair on the back of his pulling his head back up. You let your fingers trace over his thighs, moving slowly towards Leon’s almost completely rock-hard cock. It was flushed with pink and dripping with pre-cum. 

You leaned down kissing him again finally letting your hand glide up to his cock. Gripping the base of it, Leon moaned into your mouth. You moved your hand painfully slow up and down on his cock. “Fuck please…” he whimpered. You pulled away from him, “Please I need to see you too.” he whined out of breath. 

You pushed his shoulders back so he hit the couch. You slid the dress off your body revealing your entire body. You had decided against wearing panties. Leon’s eyes raked over you. “Fuck I should have known you wouldn’t wear any panties. You knew you were gonna fuck me huh?” he growled looking at you. 

You slapped him again, his blush matching the bright red color on the right side of his face he adored. “Fuuuck,” he mumbled, looking back at you. “Please let me see your fucking pussy.” he whined trying to buck his hips into the air, his cock slapping his tummy. “Yeah, you wanna see my pussy? Yeah?” you asked, leaning down to Leon who was rapidly shaking his head ‘yes’. “Please, please, please Mommy,” he begged, his face bright red.

You sat down right next to him, the pudge of your thighs touching his. You spread your legs apart. Leon gasping at your body. Your left hand moving back to his cock, your right hand moving to your clit. You moved both of your hands gathering your slick occasionally with your right hand. 

Leon was in heaven breathing rapidly watching you pleasure yourself while jerking him off. It was fucking beautiful but this isn’t how he wanted to cum. “Please, let me eat you out…” he whined looking at you. You slowed your ministrations. “You don't wanna cum?” you asked with feigned pity. “I do but..” he whined looking at your fingers knuckle deep in your pussy. “Fuck I want you to use me. I want you to cum first please, god I will do anything.” his voice was exasperated.

Sweat dripped down his face, his lips swollen, cock red and dripping with his arousal. You bite your lip looking at him. “Fuck please oh my god I want you to sit on my face so bad.” he damn near screamed struggling against his ropes and bucking into the air. “Beg,” you murmur. “Please Mommy, you have to let me eat you out. I know you want to come, please let me do it. Fuck! Please please please!!” he was screaming now.

Your hand slapped over his mouth, tears rolling down his cheeks onto your hand. “You can eat me out baby calm down.” you ensure, staring at your sobbing partner. Cue the rapid “Thank yous/ your so good/ use me’s” he was dripping with tears, sweat, and precum. You straddled his head holding just about his face. “Are you sure Le- baby? I don't wanna crush you,” you say, hand rubbing the side of his face. “I WANT you to crush me, sit down please!” he begs trying to lift his head to your aching cunt. 

You managed to keep his head down with your hand. “Ok baby if you're sure,” you murmur, you gently sit down. Your thighs smothering Leon’s face. You feel his tongue start moving in and out of your sopping cunt. You gasp feeling the burning pleasure slowly start building in your lower tummy.

“Leon- fuck.” you let out a whimper, white-knuckling the couch. You couldn't understand most of what Leon was screaming into your cunt but sounded a lot like. “Fuck fuck fuck! God your so cunt is so good. That's it ride my fucking face.” whatever he was saying was vibrating your clit making his tongue feel even better. 

You went to sit up to give him some room to breathe but that was a mistake. “What are you doing, please? Come back I need you to use me like a free-use whore, fuck!” he was screaming again. Next to thrashing around for your cunt again. 

Your hand landed on his cheek bringing him out of his tantrum. His pupils were blown, still gasping for breath. “You need to catch your breath before you get to eat me out again,” you warn. “I don't wanna breathe! Just fuck me!.” he growls. You bring your hand up to his throat squeezing. “Don't be mean you know you want to. I'm just a free dick and mouth for you. You and your beautiful body. I'm just here to please you. I’m just a fucking whore.” he whines at you, wrists burning from the rope. 

“I'm not letting you taste my cunt again, just for that,” you growl, which makes his head spin. He can’t even throw another fit before you make him lay down. “Of course you make me lie down, you know my hands are still tied so I can’t do anything. M just a lil free use toy for my mommy.” he was teasing you…

You straddle his dick, slowly sinking into him. He unintentionally bucks up, dick hitting your cervix. “Ah, fuck I’m sorry I didn't mean to do that.” Leon mumbles and for the first time tonight gave you an earnest look. “Heh, it's ok Leon don't worry. Are you doing ok? Need anything right now?” he was balls deep inside of you and you were asking if needed anything…

Leon could have sworn he would have come just then. “No- no I’m good!” he says adjusting his hips, cock somehow slipping deep inside you. “Good,” you mumble, and you began moving up and down on him. Your hands brought up to your tits groping them.

“You like watching me play with myself on you baby?” you ask, to which he can only feverishly nod ‘yes’. Words have escaped Leon, his edging from earlier coming back in tenfold. “M gonna cum.” he whimpers out in fear. “Don’t wait for me first ok?” you mumble, feeling the coil in your tummy tighten your cunt hungrily absorbing Leon’s cock. “Fuck!” he shouts, wrists almost bleeding from how hard he was pulling them.

Leon’s brain was going completely blank, his neurons only able to produce TV static. “Please momma, you can come on my cock I know you can, fuck! You're so beautiful I can’t take it anymore! Just come Mommy for me please!” Leon begs his voice almost whispering. 

“God your such a good fucking whore Leon,” you mumble, hands white knuckling the couch, bouncing your body up and down. Feeling your coil snap, cunt clenching around his cock. He clenches his jaw watching the most beautiful thing he has ever seen before in his life. Your eyes roll back with fever that makes him dizzy. 

Your head falls back beads of sweat dripping on your face and neck. Cunt swallowing up his dick. Fucking hell he was in heaven. Your orgasm dies down, as you ride yourself through it. You are only able to give Leon a little nod, and he lets his orgasm rip through his body. “Fuck fuck fuck, y/n.” he whimpers, hot cum shooting inside of your cunt. 

Both of you were breathing rapidly, eyes interlocking. “Good job Leon,” you mumble kissing his hairline. Slowly moving off of his dick cum leaking out of you. “Can you sit up for me?” you ask, trying not to let it come spilling off of your thighs. “Y-yeah,” he whispers while sitting up. His back was hot and sweaty. Beads of sweat dripped down. 

You made quick work of the rope taking it off, your stomach turning slightly at the bright red and freshly bruised marks. You kiss his wrists ruffling his hair slightly. He gives you a puppy-like gleam, fuck he was so adorable. “Would you be ok if I left you for a second to clean up?” you asked, cupping his face. 

“Mhm! I’ll be right here heh,” Leon said, you pulled him into a kiss before letting him go to clean yourself up. You went pee and grabbed a towel for him as well as a glass of water. You needed to do this right for him this time. You were going to make sure you never made the same mistake again twice. 

Unfortunately, as you feared when you walked back into the living room Leon didn’t look ok. “Baby? Leon? Should I not have left? Are you ok?” you ask, rushing over to him, setting the water and towel down next to the couch. Leon's face was red but not with a blush but with tears. They prickled at the corners of his eyes, your arms pulling him close to you. A small sob racked through his body, hands covering his face as he fell into your touch. 

“I’m so sorry Leon, I know this has probably been hard for you. I’m so sorry for that. I’m going to do better, I promise nothing we just did was real. It’s all pretend pretty boy. You're not a whore, your safe with me ok? I’m going to work hard to earn your trust ok?” you whisper into his ear, slowly stroking his hair. You know he can hear you, you also know letting him cry might be the best thing right now. 

This no doubt has brought up a lot of feelings for him, and that's ok. “Can you try taking some deep breaths? You don’t have to stop breathing but I need you to breathe ok?” you ask in the softest voice you can muster. You place your hands on his chest. He nods against your thighs, wet tears smearing around. You can feel him calling himself down with the occasional hiccups. “Good job.” you praise kissing the back of his neck. 

You coddled him for a few more minutes before he agreed to let you clean him up a bit. He sat like a kicked puppy on the couch letting you use the soft microfiber towel to clean around his groin and tummy. Holding his cup of water with both of his hands gulping some of it down.

He was quietly staring at your hands to clean him up. “Do you want a bath or a shower?” you ask, setting the towel on the side. “Um, can we have a shower please?” He asks, still feeling off from everything. You take his cup of water, set it down, and help him up to the shower, turning it on at the perfect temperature that nearly melted Leon as he stepped in. 

“I’m sorry for crying, I just got reminded of that night. I felt so alone,” he mumbled, clearly embarrassed. “Hey don’t say sorry for crying I’m sure you felt a lot. Let’s get you clean ok?” he nods, before wrapping his arms around you. “I’m not sure how this is going to work between us but if you want I would love to be your boyfriend.” He whispers into your ear. 

You pull away from the hug hot water dripping down your bodies. “I would love to be with you Leon,” you whisper, kissing him. His hands snake around your waist pulling you flush against him. The two of you melding your bodies together. 

After a very loving shower to contrast the feelings of earlier you two got dressed (you forced Leon into one of your shirts that was too short for him but you certainly didn’t mind. His arms wrapped around you, his nose nuzzling into your neck. His soft snores filled the room. You never wanted to let go of this moment. 

If only you two knew what lay ahead of Leon in Racoon City…

[hauntedtrait]

Julian O'Neal is Cherishing Cherry (@wrixie)

Julian did not have a good life growing up, music being the only constant thing in his life, the one thing he could take comfort in at the end of every day. In his teens, he started working at Dead Man's Records, a local record shop he could walk to after school, and the same place he'd spend his hard earned money at, buying himself records, cassettes and everything he needed to listen to them at home.

Whatever money Julian had leftover after buying his records went into his savings, and as soon as he was 18, his boss ( and owner of the store ), let him crash in the bedroom upstairs. This little record shop tucked in a corner of Copperdale was his entire life, and he was grateful for it, he loved it so much he barely saw working there as labor. He loved the music, the ambience, the customers, and the friends he made there. He transformed the place, bringing in new clientele and adding a space for people to perform music and read poetry.

When Julian was 23, the record store owner passed away, leaving Julian the shop and the apartment in his will, and it's been under his care ever since. In recent years Julian added a recording booth to the shop as well and got a little radio show started, as well as using the space to teach kids and teens how to play guitar. Private DL if chosen! More info below ⬇️

In regards to his love life... there isn't much to say other than he has been abysmally unsuccessful. His longest relationship ended a year ago, and had been a failed attempt at being married. Julian and his now ex-wife had only been dating for about 3 months after having been friends for 10 years, and drunkenly decided to get married by a Judith Ward Drag Queen impersonator. 6 months later the pair realized they were much better off as friends and broke things off. They're still friends and share custody of a cat named Custard.

Still, Julian has all but lost hope on love and is slightly desperate. Dating apps are NOT his thing, at all, as the man is quite the technophobe, he doesn't even own a smartphone. So here he is, giving love another try, going out of his comfort zone in the process.

Likes: thrifting, vinyl records, collecting record & cassette players, making mixtapes as a love language, music from before the 2000s, distillery tours Dislikes: smartphones, music subscription services, most vegetables, vapes, electronic music, futurism

Traits: Restless, Music Lover, Technophobe

Fun Facts: collects record players and tape players, loves movies too just not as much as music ( especially slasher horror ), his favorite movie is Scream, his favorite band is Filter, secretly likes to dance, is a competent enough cook but usually too tired to do it so he tends to order food a lot, never had pets growing up but would love to have more of them now, he just needs the space for it, cries easily, is the go-to person to invite to a concert, friends with pretty much all his customers and students.

[raiphoria]

Still Into You | Venti |

Soft jingles from a spoon hitting the inside of a cup could be heard as whatever was inside of it was getting stirred.

Muffled, but loud voices of laughter vibrated and echoed throughout the surroundings that this figure tried their best to ignore.

The sliding sound of a chair going outwards could barely be heard a second figure sat down in front of another male.

"(Y/n)," a calming tone said, grabbing the other person's attention.

"Hm? Oh, why hello there," the first figure, (Y/n), greeted after being forced to be snapped out of his daze.

The other figure, Diluc, sighed heavily as he shook his head. "Where's Rosaria and Kaeya? They're usually here with you," he asked.

(Y/n) raised a brow before chuckling. "The two of them were being held back by Master Jean and Barbara. Those two didn't seem quite happy when they tried to escape," he answered.

Diluc rolled his eyes when he heard that, before glancing off to the side and noticing a very familiar bard.

"And... he's drunk again," Diluc grumbled out in disappointment.

(Y/n) leaned back into his chair after taking a sip of their (F/d). "Again? Damn. He's really ramping up his tab, isn't he?" He retorted.

Diluc grumpily pushed himself up from his seat before turning toward one of the only knights whom he felt respect toward.

"Do you wanna come with me? He'll probably cling to you, since well... you know," Diluc asked.

(Y/n) furrowed his brows before grumbling lowly under his breath. "I guess I can come with," he replied as he got up from his chair.

Diluc gave a sound of thanks as he and (Y/n) headed over to a drunken Venti.

"What the hell are you doing?" Diluc asked as he reached Venti's side.

Venti turned his attention to the duo that walked up to him and beamed.

"Ah! What can I do for you two?" Venti asked with a small drunken hiccup escaping his lips.

(Y/n) made a sound of disapproval from his lips as he snatched away the bottle of wine from Venti's grasp.

"Wah! Hey, gimme that!" Venti exclaimed as he reached out to grab the wine bottle, just for it to get out of his reach even more.

Diluc crossed his arms over his chest as he narrowed his flame-colored eyes at the archon.

"You're not getting any more until you sober up properly! (Y/n), if you don't mind–" Diluc scolded the bard before turning his attention to the (H/c)-haired male that kept the wine bottle out of Venti's reach.

"Hm? Oh, sure. I'll take him to my home to sober up since I can't seem to trust him," (Y/n) retorted.

Diluc sighed heavily. "Thanks a bunch. Your next visit will be on me for causing such a hustle," he says.

(Y/n) waved a reassuring hand. "No problem. Now, to get this drunk idiot home," he murmured.

Placing the wine bottle on a nearby table, (Y/n) swooped the drunken Venti into his arms.

Venti threw his arms over (Y/n)'s shoulders and stuffed his face into the crook of the said (H/c)ette's neck.

"I guess I'll see you later then, see ya."

Diluc watched as Venti and (Y/n) left the bard with a shake of his head, "Despite being exes, they still care deeply for one another."

The red-haired male turned away and picked up the wine bottle. "Let's get this cleaned up," he muttered.

✧˖*°࿐

(Y/n) ignored the grumbles and soft huffs that escaped from Venti's lips.

"This is your fault, you know? You shouldn't have gotten drunk," (Y/n) scolded.

"But, (Y/n)~" Venti whined as he cuddled up to the warmth that was included with the (H/c)-haired male.

(Y/n) rolled his eyes as he looked forward. "This is why we broke up, idiot."

Venti went quiet as a small frown danced upon his lips. He knew what (Y/n) was saying, and it was true. The two of them had broken up due to his drinking problems.

(E/c) hues drifted downward, surprised to see a frown upon his ex-boyfriend's lips.

(Y/n) felt bad seeing as the two were like two peas in a pod when they were dating. But now? It felt like both he and Venti were walking on eggshells near each other.

The two still loved each other very much, but knew that they had to step away from the dating cycle.

Venti tightened his grip around (Y/n)'s shoulders as he pulled back to make eye contact with his ex-lover's (E/c) hues he still loved very much.

"I know we're not together anymore... but uhm, can I have a kiss? Please?" Venti asked, his teal hues shimmering with hope.

(Y/n) bit the inside of his cheek, not knowing what to answer with.

He missed the warm lips of the other that would always embrace his own set of lips. (Y/n) missed it so much that he decided to accept the request.

"Just one, and that's all." (Y/n) finally answered.

Venti's eyes brightened as his cheeks flushed up even more as he unwrapped his arms from (Y/n)'s shoulders, and placed his hands onto (Y/n)'s face.

"I love you," Venti whispered as he brought (Y/n) into a kiss.

(Y/n) sadly smiled upon the other's lips as he kissed back, loving the familiar comfort that the other male gave.

After a minute or two, Venti pulled away and fell asleep in (Y/n)'s arms.

(Y/n) glanced at the archon with (E/c) hues that swam with sadness and love in them.

"I love you too, Venti."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

My ex is not well. We broke up 2 years ago, but because they have really severe mental health problems, including dissociative identity disorder and addiction issues, they've always relied on me to support them. When we lived together I payed their portion of the rent about 60% of the time, when I told them they had to move out on their own but they couldn't afford an apartment, I let them stay with me. I work in healthcare so I've gotten them resources for mental health services and health insurance to help cover it. I even paid out of pocket for 3 months of online therapy services at one point. As they've struggled with housing, I've found them resources to help pay rent or shelters to go to. They've never utilized these resources, not even the therapy.

We stayed friends, at least sort of, because there were alters that I did enjoy spending time with, even though I didn't get along with a few of them. But now that friendship has completely dissolved. I'm just their caretaker at this point, and I'm barely hanging on. I currently live in a studio apartment, but they were fired at the end of May for missing work. When stuff like that happens, it's either because they were in a severe depressive state or because they forgot with the dissociative identity disorder. They really need to be on disability, but because they can't keep a job, they've never had health insurance or the money to get this kind of protection, so all of their care has fallen on me. So I set up a cot for them under my lofted bed, and they've been staying here since.

But it hasn't been easy, and I haven't always been nice. I've gotten more angry with them than I should have for things that probably allotted some frustration, but not to the level I seem to find myself giving them. Sometimes I raise my voice at them or will tell them they're behaving like a child for leaving their dishes for me to clean or their trash on the floor for me to clean up or trying to make me wash and fold their laundry for them or leaving their piss on the toilet seat and their blood in the sink when they cut themselves shaving. It's not fair, I know, and I feel like a dick about it. I can't handle having no privacy and no space to myself and I get really sensory overloaded by crowded spaces and messes. I don't want to use that as an excuse, but it just sort of happens to me. I've explained this to them, and I've written out rules they have to follow, I have a written and signed agreement stating these are the conditions for them to continue living here, but none of it matters. Their presence is turning me into a monster because I can't take care of an adult who won't help themselves and take care of my patients and be in school and care for a cat in a 200 square foot apartment.

I finally kicked them out a few days ago. They have no money, no job, no friends or family to turn to. I'm the only person in their life, even though I've tried to get them to make friends or contact their family for help. I've even reached out to their family to see if they would be willing to help, but none of them are willing to help them. They just can't care for themselves. It's been two days since I told them they had to leave, because we'd agreed they'd pay me a small amount of rent until they could move out and they haven't been, and also because, even though they try to clean up after themselves occasionally, they just generally don't seem to care that another person lives here, like theyll finish a roll of toilet paper and not replace it, even though the toilet paper is directly next to the toilet, or they'll fill the garbage can until it's overflowing while I'm at work and won't take it out, to the point the the cabinet my garbage can is in will also be filled with trash. And then because it's a studio, they just stare at me all the time. I wake up in the morning and can feel them watching me, when I sit and do homework they just stand behind me and stare, even when I tell them I'm uncomfortable and they have to find something else to do. When I tell them they need to leave the apartment for a while while I work, they slam doors and, when they're not in a nonverbal state, they'll yell at me for it. But if I tell them that they need to, at the very least, put their garbage in the trash instead of piling it under the cot or wash their dishes, they just sit with their head between their knees and won't move for hours.

But at the same time, it's been 2 days since I told them they had to leave, and both nights they've still slept here because they got scared and wouldn't try to get a bed in the nearby homeless shelter, or because they told me they tried to jump in front of a train and I told them to come home so I could watch them until we could get them to the emergency room for suicidal ideation. And of course, as soon as we agreed that was the plan, they said no, they're actually fine, they just have to keep trying and they'll be ok. I work in the ER as a tech, so I know I can't take them in if they refuse to go, and especially not if they'll get there and deny anything is wrong. They play a healthy person well because they've learned the game with social workers, so if I take them to the ER, they'll end up with a huge bill they can't pay, and they won't get any help either.

I can't live with them, and I can't seem to let them leave because of this misplaced sense of duty to them. But I also worry, as I'm telling them they can stay but still getting angry that they're here, am I just inviting them in to hurt them? Should I be kicking them out for their own sake? AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[attonposting]

Something I don't see many people invoke when writing Atton, and I wish more would, is the fact that his exiled Jedi crush is the General who pulled the trigger on the Mass Shadow Generator. That is a big deal! Him blowing up at the Exile over Malachor is nearly lost in the rapidfire shitstorm that's his whole confession, but Atton's on par with Mira for having personal beef over Malachor V. His headspace beneath the pazaak routine must have been a confused and angry mess once he learned that this ex-Jedi he was carting around was General Meetra Surik, or whichever name you gave your Exile.

Like, Atton was coming to grips with the fact that the Exile used to be a Jedi. They seem decent enough... clueless, and too much of a bleeding heart for their own good, they're the type of idiot who paints a target on their back every time they get out of bed, but at least they were a veteran instead of one of those worthless trust-in-the-Force types and they're not afraid to get their hands dirty when there's people that need to be shot. And hell, if the Jedi kicked them out, that's a point in their favor – maybe even enough for him to worry for them late at night after the juma's really kicked in, because sometimes they just seem so goddamn worn-down and look, he's not totally heartless. Anyone with eyes can see that they're lugging around some heavy shit; of course he's gonna wonder. And then he gets smacked with that.

Malachor V was huge to Atton. It's that theme of all of the crew's stories coming back to that single moment in time. Now, it's important to establish that Malachor is not a single event that broke Atton. He was already in bad straits by the end of the Mandalorian Wars, and heavily disillusioned by all he'd witnessed and done during them. It's not the end-all-be-all of his fall to the Dark Side and it may well have happened anyway. But Malachor was the capstone – a single terrible event that shattered the remainder of his faith. Atton was present during that battle (“You weren't there. You have no idea what happened.” -> “Oh yeah? Shows how much you know. Maybe you're wrong about a lot of other things, too.”) and alludes to trauma over it (“Wish I'd died there, that the storms had dragged me down into Malachor V”). My take is that he was among the forces arrayed for the space battle and barely managed to fly his way out of the gravity well, but you can interpret many different experiences from the loose constraints of canon.

No matter how you slice his involvement, though, Atton felt utterly betrayed by Malachor V. He'd already felt that the Republic was mismanaging its troops, that guys like him were being served up as cannon fodder while useless senators waffled over the measures they desperately needed on the ground and the Jedi sat on their Council thrones offering platitudes of protection while failing to lift a finger in anyone's defense. But here was the absolute worst of it – command straight-up lied to him, him and everyone else in that stars-damned clusterfuck, and sent them out as sacrificial lambs. Hundreds of thousands of soldiers laid out as bait for a goddamn trap. Didn't even get a chance to fucking fight, just a tongue-in-cheek “thank you for your sacrifice”, because if they'd signed up to fight then he guesses that meant they were already dead on paper anyway.

I think it's likely that the way Malachor ends up attributed to Revan was revisionism that happened later, in the same way that Revan accumulated blame for the actions of Malak in the Jedi Civil War. Revan definitely had a lot of blame for what happened at Malachor, but Atton would have hated whoever made that call. Whether he chalked it up to Meetra Surik or Insert Better Exile Name Here or just the Republic in general, he was a furious, bitter mess... and I don't think he would have been so quick to follow Revan if he'd known just how much of a hand they had in Malachor's planning.

Fast forward a decade later, when he meets the person behind that call, the Jedi behind that call, and they're nothing like he would have expected.

And he knows this because he's already seen them in action, gotten to know them a little – likes them, even, and isn't that a damned thing he tries to avoid. Unless your Exile is unusually chatty, Atton probably learns this sometime on Telos; possibly from Lt. Grenn when they get arrested (specifically the fact that the Republic wants to meet with them, that'll set off some alarm bells, and possibly bring in the Exile's full/real name), possibly when they meet Bao-Dur and his habit of using military ranks, possibly from the Handmaiden Sisters when they end up in Atris's Academy, and definitely from the holorecording of the Exile's trial if he hasn't already clued in. If he'd known who they were on Peragus, Atton might've used them to get off the station and planted a vibro in their back as soon as he didn't need them anymore, but now he's seen the kind of person they are – the parts that are just like him, the parts that are better than him – and he doesn't know how to feel.

I like to think that while Atton comes to terms with it, and probably a lot quicker than he was expecting... he doesn't forgive the Exile for Malachor. And it's the same as how forgiving Atton for his crimes is missing the point, and not what he wants anyway. It's more about moving on. The war is always going to be there, but it doesn't matter anymore, because they're not the same people who made those calls. What's important is that he understands. And in the end, not forgiving them might even be comfortable for Atton. He feels closer to them – both on a personal level and an aspirational one – in that they've both committed truly terrible crimes, things that cannot ever be made okay, and the Exile still managed to pick themselves up and keep trying. He's got mixed feelings about the charity act, but the fact that they were able to stop running and face the music for what they did is what captivates him, because that's something he never had the grit to do.

[billthedrake]

(Heads up that this chapter is more hard core.)

TRAINING THE SALES GUY (PART FOUR)

I considered my weird fuckbuddy affair with Carson Wells to be done. I kicked myself a little bit for pushing too far and freaking him out. Then I was glad it happened. It was an inappropriate thing from the start and had no good end.

I hooked up with one guy a couple of times. I actually enjoyed fucking again. And kissing and making out. And the fun flirty vibe with another gay dude. As hot as Carson's blowjobs had been and as much as I'd enjoyed the naughty thrill of a finance bro who liked to suck dick, it wasn't a completely rewarding connection.

Maybe I should have gotten out there to date again, but I still wasn't ready for that. I still saw Rob, my ex. We'd run into each other in the neighborhood and decided to have lunch, to try out the civilized adult thing. It was good and not good at the same time. We promised to do it again, but I needed more time.

I was enjoying making a couple new friends. Some of my long-standing friends were more settled down now or had moved, while the mutual friends Rob and I had took his side mostly. But my social life was picking up and I was doing my best to squash my workaholic ways. I was never an athletic guy but joined one of the gay sports leagues in the city. It was a perfect mix of younger guys and older, single and coupled. I even got invited along on a beach trip in Mexico.

It was a Saturday night I got back from that trip in fact when I got a text from Carson Wells.

"Hey Bill sorry to bug you. Can we talk?"

"Yeah, when?" I typed back.

"Now?"

It was like 10:30. I'd had a long day and while my dick liked the idea of a booty call, this just felt like a strange way for Carson to start things back up. I knew the self-respecting thing would be to set boundaries and tell him I'd talk to him tomorrow.

"Sure," I wrote back. "Come over?" I was already settled in for the evening and not in the mood to go out. If Carson was so urgent, he could come over.

"All right," he replied.

He looked distraught when he finally showed up. He had almost that tech-bro look... black joggers, designer sneakers, gray hoodie with some logo on it. "Hey," he said softly as I let him in.

I showed him into the living area and had him sit on the sofa. I sat down too, though not right next to him. "What's up, Carson?" I asked.

He have me a wistful look. Gone was that perfect smile, but those green eyes were sexy as fuck. "Emily and I broke up tonight."

I felt bad, but also I was what the fuck? I didn't fucking know Emily. "Sorry, man," I said. But I couldn't be the guy to unload on. "But don't you have any buddies you can talk about this with?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I've been out with them." His voice got a little quieter. "But, fuck, Bill I need to suck a dick." He scooted closer to me and put his hand on my leg, running quickly up the bare leg and toward the him of my casual gym shorts.

"I don't know, Carson," I said, stopping his hand.

He looked hurt. "Oh. You seeing someone? I shoulda asked."

I shook my head. "Not seeing anyone. But well... you're pretty upset right now. I don't wanna..."

I was trying to respect him and not take advantage of his emotional state, but Carson laughed. There came thought pearly whites again. "What, Boss? You don't want your dick sucked?"

My dick was liking that idea all right. "When you put it that way," I replied, with a chuckle.

Carson placed his hand back on my leg, now teasingly running his fingers along my leg hair and my thigh muscle. I'd never seen this side of the guy. He still wasn't making the move to kiss or anything, but the sensuality of the touch was great. "I've been watching those videos you sent me... a lot actually."

"Yeah?" I asked. This was a surprise, all right. I spread my legs and let his hand travel up toward my crotch.

He nodded. He had a strange emotional vibe. Definitely distraught and wound up. Maybe I was taking advantage of his state. "They're wild as fuck, Boss. But keep thinking what it would be like to try that."

"Which one?" I asked.

"Both," he admitted. "The training one... and that other one... I've watched some others like it, too."

I was completely hard now. I pulled Carson's hand away only now so I could pull down my shorts and briefs. I let my dong ride up fully rigid and throbbing. And here I thought I was too tired even for a stroke session before bed.

The man grinned as he eyed up my phallus. "That's a great dick, Boss." He looked up at me, lust adding to the emotions on his phase. "Just go a little easier on me," he asked. "I've not anything like that those videos."

I nodded and grinned, pushing up my erection for his gaze. "Will do, Wells... though don't sell yourself shorts. You've done a lot of training already."

I reached up and ran my fingers along the side of his hair, moving further back on his head. Carson got the hit and leaned forward.

We'd never actually done it like this before, with me sitting down and Carson leaning over. But it was hot to see this hunk bend over to service me. I let him start, licking me and then sucking me in. Wells was great at this and his mood made him hungrier. He practically scarfed my hardon down to the root in three gos.

"Fuck yes, buddy," I growled. "Eat my fucking boner." I didn't want to go too Dom on Wells. Partly because he was the kind of cocksucker who'd easily spook if you didn't respect him. And partly because trash talking wasn't the biggest turn on for me. That deep throat action was.

I watched him work that deep spot in his throat with my cock, wildly bobbing on me and grunting deep sex grunts. He'd been thinking about this a lot, I know. Carson Wells was ready.

I held his neck tight and just started fucking his skull. Hard steady jabs. I'd only been with three guys who'd been up for this treatment before. My ex Rob wasn't one of them, and maybe I was ready for this too.

It took maybe six thrusts before I hit pay dirt. Carson's gullet seized up and he gagged. I stopped my thrusts but I held so he couldn't easily lift up. He was gonna retch but I talked him through it. "Swallow it back down, buddy... easy, man.... there ya go." I could see the tear stream from his eye and his face go red but Carson did it. And the second he got himself under control I pulled him up.

"FUCK!" he cried, eyes watery. But damned if the guy didn't have a wild, excited look on his face. "That was intense," he hissed, his mouth thick with mucus.

But not as thick as my cock was. Its length was covered with a good amount of Carson Wells' throat slime.

"That's some perfect slime, buddy!" I hissed, encouraging him or at least thanking him. This is the kind of extreme oral that turned me on all right. "How you feeling?"

He looked up. "Not as bad as I thought," he answered. "I think I was more scared of it to happen than anything."

"You up for another go?" I asked. Hopeful as hell, but I'd respect his boundaries.

He nodded. "I think so, yeah... So, Boss... how do you keep from, you know....?"

I knew the answer, but only as an oral top, not a cocksucker. Carson would have to find his own answer. But I did my best to explain. "You gotta know your body and learn how to control it. Lean into just the right amount of gag, then turn it off."

He took it all in. "What if I don't turn it off in time?" I could see the concern and knew where he was coming from.

I shrugged. "If it happens, it happens. But don't fear that. Tell yourself it's gonna be fine."

"All right," he said. Jesus, he clearly had been thinking about this a lot.

I applied some pressure on his neck again and I watched as Carson took me into his mouth again. I did the driving this time, using the residual thick saliva to ease my way into a slow steady deep throat fuck. After the previous activity, Carson was able to take me like a pro. One deep push after another. Six months ago this would have been enough to get me off big. It would be enough now, too, but I wanted more. I started a series of hard thrusts again.

Carson, to his credit, did better this time around. But pretty soon the gag kicked in, and the guy knew what to do. He let it happen, only to swallow it back down.

"Fuck yes," I hissed. I didn't have to go hard and deep now. I just let Carson do the sucking. Up and down on my bone, as that thick slime spilled out of his mouth and onto my balls. He was excited, maybe because of how thrilled I was. But this was hands down one the hottest things I'd seen. My hot business-bro coworker giving me some insanely sloppy head.

"Fuck, Cars... I'm gonna cum!" I growled. I could hear the slickness of the sticky spittle on his chin and lips and he worked me with steady mouth strokes. "FUUCK!" I grunted as I gave up a super heavy load.

Carson now moaned excitedly. He always liked when I came but he seemed even needier now.

He finally pulled back when my dick had enough. Even after a few months' break, the guy seemed to remember just how much stimulation I could take after a good nut.

"Goddamn," he growled as he pulled off. He looked up at me, his mind in some new state of head fuck but definitely turned on. "Damn, you're one kinky fucker," he gasped. The slime and spit was on his chin and all over his beard. It was crazy hot. My dick wasn't gonna go down soon.

I lifted my hand up and wiped some of the wetness of his beard. "You may be a little kinky, too, Wells," I said. Then I nodded down at his crotch. "Need to get off."

He sat up, showing that indeed he had an erection in his joggers. He slipped them over his boner and reached down. "I went soft but my hardon came back," he explained. I watched him started a stroke, then I stood up, letting my wet dong sway some in front of him.

"Too messy for ya?" I asked.

He shook his head no, and had that unmistakable look of need on his face. I stepped up and put my dick near his mouth. Carson leaned forward and started sucking me in again. A few strokes and the guy was cumming, hard.

I went to fetch some washcloths. We'd both need it.

I expected Carson to have some doubts now, but he seemed quiet in a relaxed way. "Thanks for helping me out, Bill. I needed that."

I found my shorts and slipped them back on. "I won't lie, Carson," I said. "I haven't had a scene that hot in, like, forever."

He gave me a sly grin. "I'm glad, Boss. It was kinda crazy hot for me, too." He looked at his phone, where I gathered he had some messages. "Look, I'm gonna go meet some buddies now. Talk to you later?"

"Anytime, Wells," I said.

And I meant it.

[urfavnegronerd]

all right u obscene fucks some of you don't have a skincare-obsessed sister and it shows

alright so anyone who shaves their no no square is going to know what im talking about so just bare with me. some of us are too broke to afford a wax (i have eight dollars in my spending account rn), so here's what ur gonna do. everyone whos shaved that area has most definitely experienced irritation, ingrowns, bumps, and itchiness. this is not good, especially for those of us with a history of sh. that alone has triggered multiple relapses for me, cus why does my body itch? and then my brain spirals from there

if its been a while since u've shaved? no worries stink i didn't use to be regular either. if its been a while and you have a bit more hair, make sure to trim the area carefully, with a sanitized pair of scissors.

dry brush the area, you can get a dry brush at target, i got mine for five dollars

gently exfoliate the area, i use a home made one w sugar, oil, and dr bronners unscented soap. i use unscented because i have keratosis pilaris, eczema, and sensitive skin. use unscented soap, not no Japanese cherry blossom ass shit from bath and body works. do you want a yeast infection? unscented is the way to go.

get clean razor, i switch mine out every month or so. i use harrys because they're marketed towards men so a closer shave w more blades. before u do anything w the razor, run it under warm water, if the pressure in your showerhead changes switch it to the highest pressure and rinse the blade to get any gunk out of there

drop the shaving cream, the conditioner, whatever u use. drop it. switch for coconut oil instead, unscented as to not irritate the area.

at first go with the direction of hair growth, stopping to rinse the razor and the area every few strokes. then go side to side, and up and down.

as soon as ur finished rinse the area with freezing water as to close/tighten the pores!!

when ur out of the shower use either after shave, or witch hazel. i like to use aqua velva after shave, it smells nice, and also marketed towards a male audience so it actually fucking works. pour a little bit on a cotton round, wash rag, or toilet paper and apply it to the area. it'll sting a little bit, but that's the tightening and toning of the area, don't worry. for those of my afab friends do not put it in there. only on the skin outside of it!! no one wants a yeast infection, or a uti, we don't do that here. (however if you do get a uti or yeast infection, boric acid suppositories at target, azo cranberry tablets and apple cider vinegar tablets. do what you will with that. miasaurus on youtube has great videos on these topics, an ex-stripper and also incredibly funny) tend skin is also a great option but really expensive, when my parents were together my mom got my bald-headed ass daddy a big thing of tend skin for his birthday.

moisturize with unscented lotion, i use cetaphil on that area and coco butter everywhere else

in the showers following ur shave down there, use a salicylic acid face wash on that area. i use cerave because i got it cheap with ulta points, i would recommend cerave because it's formulated with ceramides to keep your skin barrier healthy as well as being unscented. salicylic acid is an acne medication that also helps prevent ingrown hair and itchiness.

moisturize moisturize moisturize!

repeat as necessary friends! go fuck that person bald down there. or don't, whatever floats ur boat. if you wanna be smooth down there (cus its fucking comforting), go be smooth if you wanna!

my mom or my older sister did not teach me this, so i had to figure out what works too embarrassed to ask for help.