#well there's something I could do that would at least help family finances
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who am i fairfaxing kidding
"i'm just like adam" "i'm just like julian"
adam would take one look at my 'work ethic' (it doesn't exist) and contemn me, julian would be raging about my moral hypocrisy, every character i admire who's actually a good person wouldn't tolerate two seconds on any important task with me
that scene in the pilot where adam lays into joe for playing around instead of doing his part? yeah that'd be me getting yelled at except it would probably pan out far worse because i would actually have been sitting there playing while the cattle wander off and get lost miles away
#'it's great that you're trying to get into medicine i'm sure you can do it'#yeah thanks. do you want people to die? that is how people die.#couldn't even do one fairfaxing trial morning caring for *animals*.#we're at war I'm a healthy skilled woman and I'm sitting at home doing nothing#well there's something I could do that would at least help family finances#what with me being a lazy brat who can't be bothered to get a job
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I can’t get this scenario out of my head with yan!batfamily in which Bruce worms his way into a depressed reader’s life by marrying their mother and slowly taking over the role of parenting reader while dealing with the depression.
No because Bruce would do that. In his head, its just another mission to "save Y/n" and sure, your mother isn't exactly his type, and your depression isn't exactly her fault- the poor woman just works day and night for you both to survive in this outrageous economy, she doesn't have had enough time to see you not doing so well mentally.
Bruce and his sons, by whatever sequence of events, are now infatuated with you. What started as concern for your well being has now turned into obsessive need to control your life to make it better. So, yeah... Bruce decides to marry your mom, who is more than happy to finally find a chivalrous, handsome man... who just happens to also be very rich.
Meanwhile, you hate him. It's stupid, but you hate how filthy rich he is and even though you know that he donates a lot to charities, you still hate him because Bruce thinks money can solve everything (and in your case, it almost can), but you can't help but feel insulted everytime he offers you a cheque, a wad of cash to pay off your bills and loans, or even a $20 bill to get yourself some snacks. It feels... abnormal. You're not a charity case.
Perhaps your socioeconomic status isn't the only reason you're depressed. Maybe it's just you missing your father (could be dead/murdered/suicide/just moved far far away).
The moment Bruce finds out that your dad is the reason why you're so depressed, oh it's "I WILL FATHER ANOTHER CHILD IN NEED OF PROFESSIONAL HELP" time. He's doubling down on his paternal instincts and he's just mentally smacking himself like "ofc you need a father figure in your life. Who better than me????"
And it just makes your skin crawl at how nonchalant Bruce is about all this- about incorporating himself into your and your mother's life. Treating you both, especially you like you're actually related. Like he's been around with you two his entire life. You lose your appetite when he stays for dinner, but you sit at the table for your mother. You try to make excuses when your mother tells you that you have to go with her at the Wayne Manor because "Bruce wants to spend a day with family". You can't help but look at your mother in wonder at how she is comfortable when you both pull up at the manor. You thought things would be easier if Bruce's sons were also uncomfortable or even hated you and your mother (or thought that your mom was a gold digger), but no, they're just as worse as Bruce. Dick being particularly the worst in the sense that he's more affectionate and his love language is physical touch, so you get squished to his chest everytime he sees you, with a small cry "my baby!" Sometimes, "sis" would be added.
You didn't like either nickname.
Then there's Jason, who is the most normal one of them all, perhaps because he isn't around much and when he is, he just makes small talk.
Tim doesn't talk much either, but he stares a lot. Somehow you feel like he knows something about you, at least more than he's letting on.
And lastly, there's Damian, that pompous little shit. You know he's being amicable for Bruce, but his eyes look at you like he's judging you- thinks you're beneath him. Which is true, in the sense of finance. Despite all of that, Damian still wants to show you off his interests/things around the manor. He's still being arrogant ofc, "Look at this oil painting- it's a Van Gogh original. Van Gogh is a famous painter- he's dead though. I'm sure you aren't familiar with his works. I can take you to the Gotham gallery to show you more paintings. Father owns it, so it can be just us two without other people bothering us." He's nice but also not nice. But at least he's not doing it intentionally.
Then there's Bruce. Who is always looking at you with a small smile, but his eyes are always analysing you, even when he's not looking at you directly, you know that he's watching your every move like a hawk. He tries spending time with you, often he succeeds, only because your mother makes you go. He's a good man, hasn't done anything exactly inappropriate, but... even something as small as making you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk so that you're safe from the cars... it doesn't sit right with you. Why is he being so paternal? You certainly have been rude to him on purpose. Always giving him one word answers when he asks you how your day was.
Then one day your mother returns home with a beaming smile.
"Bruce proposed to me! We're getting married!"
After only 3 months of dating? It's what you wanted to say, but you held it back when you saw how happy she was.
The next day, Bruce held a dinner at the manor to celebrate the engagement. Surprisingly, that was the first time you saw Damian looking mad at you and your mom.
It was a reasonable reaction. Acceptable to you, instead of the overly excited yell of Dick "WE'RE GOING TO BE SIBLINGS! That means we can have slumber parties and pillow fights and-"
Your mother and Bruce were shopping for the wedding, looking at dresses and venues and all the shenanigans while you were at the manor, moving your and your mom's stuff in with the boys. It was the last thing you wanted, but your mother.... she insisted on it. Or at least that's what she says, you know Bruce insisted.
Doesn't matter because by next year, you'd be moving away to college anyways.
You just need to put up with this for a little longer and see your mother finally be happy.
You didn't expect your mother to be dead a week before the wedding.
It was out of the blue. You were sitting in the library at the manor because Dick refused to let you be alone in your room all the time, so he was making you some cookies while you read. Then he and Bruce came together, their faces pale as they looked at you.
"Y/n... your mother, she... she got in an accident."
She was driving to some restaurant, wanted to get you your favourite fried chicken and spend some time with you alone. But on her way, a truck crashed right into her car.
She died on the spot.
Whatever little improvement you had on your mental health went straight down the drain. You locked yourself in your room and just cried quietly. They left you alone the first few days, but then Bruce and Dick tried to persuade you to come out, that they were concerned for you. You did come out the day the funeral was held. And it hurt you... it hurt you so deeply when you found out they were burying her at the Wayne cemetery.
She wasn't a fucking Wayne.
If you had any strength, if you had any energy at all, you would've taken your mother and buried her someplace else.
But you didn't.
When you returned inside the manor, you went straight to your mother's room, which was also Bruce's room but you didn't care if he saw you in there or not. You just started packing all of your mother's stuff, her clothes, her jewellery, her photos, everything she came here with, which wasn't much to begin with but still.
"Y/n?" You stiffened when Bruce called you, but you didn't pause on packing. "What are you doing? Looking for something?"
You sighed. Might as well get this over with.
You turnd around, not looking him in the eye.
"I'm moving out. And I'm taking mom's stuff with me. You can check, I'm not stealing anything that belongs to you."
Bruce looked at you in confusion. "Moving out? Where are you going?"
"College. I'll be going there soon anyways, so I'm moving to an apartment with some friends."
"Oh, but you don't need to move out. You can stay with us. Youre family-" you cut him off.
"Bruce, let's not." You finally look at him. "We're not family. I never was, I never wanted to be. Mom's gone now, and I have no reason or desire to be here. Thank you for letting me stay here for as long as you have, but I will be moving out by tomorrow, if not tonight." You said picking up your mother's bag of stuff and walking out of the room. Bruce followed you to your room.
"But I don't want you to move-"
You dropped the bags. "I don't care what you want!"
Bruce looked at you with his brows furrowed. He didn't get why you were acting like this. Your yelling had gotten the attention of the boys too, all looking in confusion at the bags.
"I don't want to be a part of this family. I never have, and I never will. I never liked you or anyone in this family. And if you're concerned about me speaking to the media about you guys, don't worry. If it helps you, you can make me sign an NDA!"
Damian narrowed his eyes at you. "Dont talk to father like-"
"Shut up!" You yelled harshly. You didn't care who you were hurting. Your mother was gone, you had no reason to be amicable to them anymore.
-
They left you alone that day, and by the next morning, you were ready to leave. At 6 am, you walked down to the main door, with your bags. You weren't expecting them all to be waiting for you, but here they were. You took a step towards the door, but Dick stopped you.
He cleared his throat. "Um, this is the NDA... if you'd just sign it here." He handed you the papers.
Unbelievable. They actually drew up a contract. You took the pen from his hand and signed at the dotted lines.
"Bye." You took another step, except Damian and Tim blocked your path.
"What now?"
"Where are you going?" Tim asked.
"Do we have to go over this again?" You grumbled. "College." You answered.
"You can't." Damian said smugly. What's he smirking for?
"You're gonna break my legs?" You scoffed.
"No, you just signed a document saying that you're a part of this family, and Bruce Wayne is your guardian and has authority over all decisions concerning you like going to college, or even... going out of the house." Damian replied.
You looked at Bruce, because there's no way Damian is being serious. But there were no signs of joking. You looked at Dick, at Jason-
They were all dead serious.
"You cant- you can't be- you can't keep me here." You said.
"You signed the documents. It's your fault for not reading them." Tim said.
"Bruce-"
"I really do believe that it'd be better for you to stay here." Bruce said, taking ahold of your shoulders. "At least until you're doing better mentally."
"I'm fine-"
"I don't think so. And I could even take you to a psychiatrist, they'd agree with me." Bruce cupped your cheek as you flinched away. "You'd be happy here. I promise you that, you'll be safe and happy with us."
You'd try fighting, but you already knew you were outnumbered.
Besides, even if you weren't, even if you were alone with the smallest one of them, you still wouldn't be able to leave. You have no idea what Damian is capable of.
After all, he's the one who had your mother killed.
#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere batboys#yandere bruce wayne#yandere damian wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere tim drake#yandere jason todd
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So I am rotating the batfamily, but not like, civilian or vigilante. I am slowly rotating them all having a Malone-sona of sorts that is their in to organized crime.
Like you can't tell me people wouldn't start noticing this family that the bats, the literal cryptids and monsters of Gotham, don't even touch and lets continue to operate despite taking the older crime families apart.
And to Gotham that screams power.
Alfred = Albert “Old Al” Malone I wanna say that he doesn't go out as 'Old Al' often, but gives off Godfather sort of vibes. Usually sitting there with an old cane (that definitely has a sword, they're all dramatic like that lol) half in the dark with a cup of tea or other drink. He gets to stretch his acting skills and honestly the kids definitely had a say in the persona. Old Al is something they all made together and they have fun implying so much fun shit.
Kate = Mary “Madam” Malone She definitely gives off 'snap your spine over her knee if not for the fact it would get your blood all over her clothes' vibes. Stylized nails, hair up in fishtail braids or ponytails or whatever, looks like she could tear out ones throat and they'd thank her. It's a running gag that she's in finances, even if no one in the underbelly believes it.
Bruce = “Matches” Malone I mean, it's classic Matches (though most probably assume that Matches isn't his real name) who seems rather chill until someone breaks the rules. Gives off vibes that he doesn't usually get his own hands dirty but will do so to make a point, and enjoy doing it. He sometimes uses Matches to check in on places he can't as a shadowy cryptid, and it's not like the lower income areas would fully trust Brucie Wayne.
Barbara = Madison “Maddie” Malone Now let's be honest, Barbara enjoys messing with people, she enjoys knowing every little thing as Oracle, and she definitely does that as Maddie. The thing is, no one knows how she learns about things, other criminals search for a traitor, for a leak, for anything, and get nothing. Which is utterly terrifying. Because there has to be some sort of information network, there has to be. And somehow they're so good that they're indistinguishable to any others.
Dick = Micheal “Mikey” Malone Honestly Dick uses this chance to get into a bunch of fights just for fun. Flirts a bit more freely but doesn't really have an interest in actually getting with someone. Just has funs and is known for throwing his own parties that usually end in free-for-all brawls. He absolutely loves being able to have parties that are the opposite of galas he's usually dragged into.
Cass = Molly Malone She's quiet and graceful, but she takes it to unnerving levels as Molly. Looks slim but carries guns on her at all time to better differentiate between Cassandra Wayne, Black Bat, and Molly Malone. Everyone knows if you need a weapon, guns, meelee, whatever, she's the one you go to. Gotham help you if you cross her though.
Jason = Peter “Petey” Malone Where Molly Malone goes, everyone knows Petey will be there as well. Jason absolutely adores the time he gets to do so, it's his turn to be silent and dramatic. Everyone can recognize the jagged scar over his neck, they can recognize it from corpses the Bats have gotten their talons on. Honestly he's delighted in being able to be Cass' enforcer of sorts and just have a good fight. Even if he complains about how making his Malone mute makes it where he can't quote Shakespeare like he wants to.
Steph = “Mia” Malone Ah yes, the explosive Malone. The one who has more arson charges than Firefly. Or at least she would if she was caught, but the entire Underbelly knows it was her. Steph is living her best life being able to pull all sorts of pranks and crazy shit and takes several ideas from Harley. Honestly she probably smells like gasoline or smoke all the time, and definitely put glitter in her hair. Maybe even has red hair as a Malone as well.
Tim = Alvin “Al” Malone He still goes by Alvin Draper too, which results in half the underbelly thinking that Draper is his middle name. Honestly he's having the best time, everyone knows to come to him for forgeries and less than legal identities, which he loves to create. I mean just look at how many new identities he creates for himself alone. He enjoys this type of thing, and hey, it's so easy to keep track of whose identity is fake when you're the one who made them. Plus it also lets him do good for those on the run for good reasons, a way to make sure people are safe.
Duke = Dennis “Denny” Malone Everyone knows Denny was adopted, but y'know what, I bet they don't care. And you know Duke is utterly insane, like jump off a bridge to escape the cops and create the We are Robin gang insane. And he gets to play that up as Denny. He will put forth the most batshit ideas and actually pull them off. I bet he uses his future-sight to cheat at different games and pool tables and all sorts of things, but no one can ever prove it. Because there is no proof, and the other people playing just has to deal with it.
Damian = “Mini M” Malone The little baby of the family, who everyone knows the older Malones absolutely dote over. This is his chance to act like an actual child, just with a hint of art theft. Hey, it wasn't like they got it legally either, so it's free game, especially if they weren't taking proper care of the art or a pet. He's just pleased to get to have even more pets, and that Goliath his demon dragon-bat gets to go on walkies.
Jarro = Jadan “Lil J” Malone Now Jarro is delighted to have a third mech, and is even more delighted for people to believe Damian (or technically M jr) and him are twins. Gives off someone is going to die- of fun with Mini M, and honestly enjoys being able to use his natural telepathy to be a small horror movie child that knows too much. Like will stare up at someone with wide eyes covered in blood and the others in Gotham's underbelly still aren't sure if the blood was his or someone elses. (it was neither)
================================================
Honestly I might write a oneshot or something for the Cryptid Batfam focusing on just them as the Malones family.
#what's outside au#what's out there au#batman#batman au#batfamily#the malones#they give off mob family vibes#hey just because Batman and the bats don't kill (that people know) doesn't mean a crime family can't#everyone thinks Mia & Al are twins#everyone thinks Molly & Petey are twins#everyone thinks M & J are twins#half the people think Matches & Madam are twins too#they're just out here having fun y'know#helping people who turned to crime because they had no other choice and taking care of the worse of the worse#remind me to elaborate later#also remind me to draw their designs#because i have so many thoughts#cryptid batman#cryptid batfam#batfam#gotham crime#matches malone
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Soulmates AU: Idia
Summary: You were born with a run-on sentence for a soulmate mark on your arm, from wrist to shoulder. Now you finally met the man that utters these words by a trashcan.
(I was requested and wrote this long number. Over 4000 words all written within the span of four days. I wrote this for @twst-charity. Not gonna lie, pretty proud that I wrote this much in that span of time. Been a while since I could do that, though I did end up pulling a muscle in my neck. I hope this is a fun read. It's also on ao3 as well. Right here.)
The writings you were born with were practically illegible at birth. The font was rather fancy, overly so, and the words circled around from your wrist to your shoulder so tightly that your family was convinced it was a giant birth mark and not the words of your soulmate.
But you grew and so did the spaces in those words. It was a pretty spiral, but as age continued to feed you wisdom, you felt that this position was deliberate. Because, as far as you knew, this first sentence could very well be the ramblings of someone going mad or already is. But first words are hardly something to build assumptions on, especially when it comes to the subject of your soulmate.
These words covering your arm are about a fictional character named Alexius von Tuveria en Ris. Well, at least you hope it’s fictional. It’s kind of a silly name to give to a kid. And also you’re not exactly up for having a soulmate that’s this, uh, verbose and opinionated about an actual person. You’ve been exposed to the deeper parts of the celebrity fan culture and you’re good with staying far away from it.
…Alexius von Tuveria en Ris doesn’t deserve any of this, though not as if he’d do anything about it if he saw since that prince is just too kind-hearted and honestly kind of cheesy, though cheesy doesn’t mean cringe and cringe is something normies are so immune to it almost makes me sick…
That was only part of the sentence on your arm. Your soulmate, where ever they are, they sure do talk a lot. Like, a whole lot. You tried repeating the sentence on your arm in just one breath and you had to practice a few years just to get it right. Strong lungs on that one, probably.
And a whole lot of unique factors to help narrow down the pool of who is and who isn’t your soulmate. Alexius von Tuveria en Ris is a pretty unique name by itself. But, the uniqueness of it did return disappointment, since searching online for a character with such a name yielded no results. You made it a habit to search at least once a week or so, just in case it was a series that has yet to exist.
You were also sort of relieved to find out that there was no royal family with a similar name. Though, that still didn’t rule out the possibility. For all you know, this could be a fake name someone chose for themselves.
Either way, this name will come to exist at some point, someone or something will be Alexius von Tuveria en Ris, and you’d have to make sure to be on top of that.
But, then you couldn’t, because suddenly you found yourself in a place called Night Raven College. One minute you were living your regular life, and the next you found duty after duty from your “oh so kind” headmage with a cat that doesn’t learn to listen when he should.
It was… an adjustment certainly. The grating egos of everyone here, the casual and not so casual use of magic that can and will kill you if it hits you in just the right way, and large restrictions on your finances rarely left you with more than a few complaints, but all you could do was grit your teeth and trudge on.
At least, despite all of these annoyances and difficulties, there are some silver linings to the found here. Magic itself was something of a marvel to witness, you won’t lie to yourself about that. You will never say it out loud for anyone to head though, because you know the minute you do, people like Grim will gloat and unintentionally belittle you with a, “Well, something as simple as that would look amazing to you, huh?”
And out of a need to never hear those words uttered by anyone, you decided to use one of your privileges to lock yourself in the computer lab. It’s after curfew, so most of the students not in remedial classes are at their dorms by now.
Next to you were a couple of spiral notebooks, the blue one opened and already filled to the brim with notes about basic magic mechanics. Sure, you can’t do a single lick of magic as far as you can tell, but you don’t want to make the blunder of relying on your preconceived notions of it.
Though, as with all studying, even on a subject as interesting as this, your brain starts to fuzz up and suddenly you can’t even retain the current paragraph. Your eyes kept skimming over the same words over and over. Finally, you huffed and slumped back in your chair, setting your pencil aside.
Though, before you decide to call it quits and rest for the night, you felt one more search would be interesting. You pushed up your sleeve until you found the name of Alexius von Tuveria en Ris on your forearm, and typed that into the blinking bar.
Hehe, the name looked a little funny in this cutesy font this search engine uses. You weren’t expecting anything honestly. You’ve already cut your losses with meeting your soulmate young. You’ve had cousins and other distant relatives that haven’t met their soulmates until they were in their seventies. Knowing how that bird-brained Crowley works, you’ll probably return back home when you’re at least in your forties. Or fifties.
He’s really taking his sweet-ass time, huh?
Either way, you pressed enter and stretched. Nothing to come of it and nothing to lose with this simple search, right? You’ve already been through the phase of obsessively searching every day back when you were younger and had too much time. At this point, it does no harm to search at least once. You mean, why not?
But, it was a hit. Several pages of hits. At the top of the pastel blue search engine was Alexius von Tuveria en Ris in all bold. In fact, from the title of the website, you’d say it was an entire site dedicated to this character.
Here it was. The very thing you’ve searching for, waiting for, was right in front of your eyes.
You didn’t say anything, you just clicked. Paragraphs and paragraphs of detailed information about this person–a fictional character–laid before you. You nearly ripped your sleeve up your arm as you scrolled down the page, looking between the screen and your skin as you confirmed that what you’re reading is correct and not just a huge coincidence that’s made to make fun of you for having hope.
The name matches, the background of isolating himself in his castle matches, the huge blow out after attempting to revive his Kingdom of Paradise matches. All of it matches your arm.
You let go of the mouse, eyes burning from staring at a white screen with black text for too long, and just sat. You stared up at the ceiling…
��and quietly seethed.
For months you’ve been wanting to go back home, and often in the middle of the night, you’d find yourself wishing you never got transported here in the first place. Some part of you buried deep was starting to believe that you would never go home, and if you knew that the option of exploring a magical place came with the consequence of never going home, you never would have taken it.
But now your arm and this screen was telling you that you had no choice but to come here. That it was destined, preordained. No matter how hard you fought, you were going to be whisked away.
It… it sucked, you will admit that.
But you sighed out all the doubts and breathed in realistic optimism. You came here one way, there has to be a way out. It happened once, so it’s logical that it would happen again.
And so, with a light stretching of your sore fingers and wrists, you clicked and read as much information you can. Absorbing the series that’s apparently been running for a good twenty years with a handful of remakes and one live action that flopped on its face.
Before you know it, it was way past the dead of night and encroaching on morning. You took a minute to stretched and rub at your strained eyes before packing everything up. You’re going to regret doing all this in the morning, when classes start, but what can you say? You like living in the moment.
You walked out, locked everything up with the keys Crowley entrusted you with, and started down the path towards your dorm. Sure, you do have permission to use the mirrors on campus, but you’re pretty sure you need someone with magic to be able to use the thing. Or you probably don’t, for all you know, but you’re not in the mood to test the theory.
You found yourself on a cross section at the road that served as a nice resting spot before heading to Sam’s shop. It had a couple of fancy black benches with gaudy gold legs, a fountain so large you’re glad you don’t have to clean it, and a lot of foliage for that beautiful view and clean air.
With all these sights nicely lit by the evenly spaced lamps to take in, instead your eyes settled on someone that chose to huddle by a trashcan. You heard crinkling and, at first, you thought this person was riffling through the trash. You got closer, and while you can’t say you were wrong, the only thing in this man’s hands was a poster.
Then, finally, you were within earshot.
“And just when I found the perfect poster, I find it in a trash can of all things, wrinkled up and thrown away because some ignorant idiot thought this was only worth as much as a piece of paper,”
Kind a rambler huh? Sounds like he’s having a bad day. Or night. Should probably just leave him alone.
…
Hold on a moment.
You pulled up your sleeve.
“Couldn’t have the decency to give this limited edition poster back for people like me, who truly appreciate the series, to own, but no of course not, it would be inconvenient, horrible that they would wrinkle the main character’s Kingdom of Paradise that he’s always dreamed of, Alexius von Tuveria en Ris doesn’t deserve any of this, though not as if he’d do anything about it if he saw since that prince is just too kind-hearted and honestly kind of cheesy, though cheesy doesn’t mean cringe and cringe is something normies are so immune to it almost makes me sick–AH there’s a tear because of course,”
You were twisting your arm this way and that, making very sure that this random man’s rant actually matched your words. You almost pulled a muscle as he continued, eyes and neck straining to read the words on your shoulders.
You lost your balance and caught yourself just as the man before you stopped his rant with a huff.
Before he could possibly start again, you walked right behind him and said, “So you’re the dude that inked up my arm.”
Ah, you didn’t really have any special words in mind, like a lot of your classmates back in your younger days. Yes, you’re buzzing a little with excitement, but you’re so tired and drained from another emotional high that you’re in a fog. Besides, you already confirmed that this person’s your soulmate, whatever pops out of your mouth will be just as unique.
“Eep!” A high little squeak of a yelp. The student–his jacket held Ignihyde designs on it–retreated his arms to his chest, like he’s ready to either lash out or curl into a ball.
He would’ve fell backwards if your legs didn’t stop his fall.
“Whoops,” you pushed him to his feet with a hand to his shoulder, “sorry about that. You okay?”
Only then did he finally turn. His hood fell from his face and unleashed an absolute bonfire of hair. A luminous bright blue that almost blinded you.
And suddenly, his hair turned an almost violent mix of pink and purple.
He blinked, then his eyes flickered from your face to his wrist, where your words are. The man opened his mouth but his voice didn’t scream so much as it whistled before dashed to the left. He sped crawled on all fours for a moment before finding his footing.
This man, whom you would eventually find out to be called Idia, ran away upon first meeting you, his soulmate.
You weren’t offended in the least. You can understand that being seen mumbling like a maniac by a trashcan isn’t the best way to be seen by your fated soulmate. So, with that in mind, you didn’t search out for him for about three days.
By day four, you got impatient and decided to hunt down for Idia since he has not even left a hint hint about wanting to meet you. A week would’ve been the original waiting time, but this college really takes a toll on you and you just want this done before you get dragged into another magical situation.
The first day, you waited by a classroom you knew Idia attended. Well, Idia’s tablet. Being a housewarden and not a regular student, it’s rather easy to stumble upon information about him. Egocentric students love to gossip when it’s framed to either make their dorm or themselves look better.
You saw a peek of a magical tablet and grabbed without hesitation.
“Ha?” You heard clicking and felt the tablet attempt to leave your hands. You turned it around and faced the built in camera.
“Hey,” you greeted as causally as you could, “Idia, right? Met you a few nights before–”
Another click, and suddenly your entire vision went white with a flash of light. You dropped the tablet.
By the time your eyes went back to normal, the tablet was gone and you were alone again.
“So, that’s how it going to be, huh?” You’ve had your fair share of runaways. In fact, your little group was mostly made of them, running away for one reason or another, like not wanting to go to class, or avoiding cleaning duties for a mess they’ve made. This was not a new situation for you.
If Idia thinks he can run away from you forever, he has another thing coming.
The next day, you found the tablet floating in the library. You got a ladder to grab it from the bottom, but you weren’t quiet enough when you climbed it. The tablet floated right past your fingertips and dashed out the door with a “Sorry!”
Well, at least he apologized. But you still want to talk!
Another day passes and you found the man physically just as you were about to walk out the classroom. He had a stack of papers in his hands, late assignments he had to turn in physically if he wanted a chance at passing apparently. He didn’t see you, so you retreated behind the door.
When you saw Idia’s figure pass by the door, you popped out and grabbed his shoulder.
“Idia,” you firmly said with a tightening grip on his frozen shoulder, “we need to talk.”
And you were meet with a tower of papers to the face and he was gone before you dug through the pile.
By that point, you were ready and willing to start dragging your other friends into the mix. You let this skittish soulmate of yours to run off the first few times because you didn’t want to stress him out too much. But, by this point in time, it would be better to throw caution to the wind if only so you two can actually sit down and have a talk.
But, by the next morning, before you could meet up with everyone, a robot kid you recognize as Ortho shot out of the sky and landed with surprising grace. At the price of leaves and dirt flooding your mouth.
“There you are!” His voice was loud but it wasn’t grating. It was a cute kind of loud, like he was happy to see you.
You spat on the ground and leaned against a tree, still groggy from waking up. “Ortho, right? Hello. You need something? I’m kind of in a hurry.”
“To make a plan to catch my big brother right?”
His accuracy left you stunned.
“Uh.”
“Then, please come with me!” Ortho grabbed your arm and enthusiastically, “I keep telling my brother to suck it up and meet you, but he just won’t!”
“I know that,” you gritted your teeth, feeling like your shoulder will pop out of its socket, “Mind telling me where you’re taking me though.”
“I’m taking you to–” Ortho paused, floated behind you and grabbed your shoulder, “Hold on, this will be faster. We’re going to Ignihyde!”
“Wha–?” But you were forced to eat your words, just when it was finally free of all dirt and leaves.
And before you know it, you were gently placed on your feet in front of the Ignihyde dorm.
“Huh.” If you delete the last few minutes from your mind, you’d say it was a pretty enjoyable ride. Quick, at least.
“So, future soulmate of my big brother,” You’re pretty sure he knows who you are, you’re not exactly a quiet presence with that monster fire cat always around, “I have to do other things, so you just have to go down these paths and you’ll be in front of his room! Just make sure he doesn’t run away, okay?”
Ortho even gave you a little note that straight up looked printed. A clear map of where Idia’s room is.
“Well, thanks,” you turned around to properly face him but Ortho was already blasting off into the sky with a wave.
You huffed out a laugh, just because the whole interaction was ridiculous, and went on your way. You don’t really have early morning classes to be late to, anyway. You just came early to prepare for chasing after Idia.
As much as you would like to take the time to admire the hallways of the Ignihyde dorm, you’re too eager to get this meeting over with.
And then you’re finally in front of Idia’s room. You reach out to knock but the door pulls open, as though avoiding your knuckles. Idia was there, hood over his head like he was going to sneak around again like the first time you’ve met him. He spotted you in a second and slammed the door right in your face.
You waited a few minutes just to see if some miracle would happen and Idia opens the door on his own.
He didn’t.
“I’m not moving from here, if you’re wondering.”
You heard a sharp gasp and then a heavy, shaky, defeated sigh.
“…of course you’re not…” And then heard the slide of fabric against the door before a soft thud at the bottom.
He sat down, and so you got yourself comfortable as well.
“So,” you leaned back on your hands, “you’ve been running away from me.”
“I have…” and then under his breath like he thought you wouldn’t hear, “…any normal person would give up but of course my soulmate would be more stubborn than that…”
You whistled and that caught his attention with a gasp.
“Hey, focus on me,” you knocked on the door for good measure, “Why were you running? That first meeting could not have been that embarrassing.”
“Says you,” his next words came out muffled, like he’s shrinking into his hoodie, “Of all the days to meet you, you just had to see me right next to a trash can like I was some kind of degenerate rat. Anyone would think I was a loser of a freak, stroking that wrinkled poster like that. Well, I’m not! Only true fans would love this series as much as I do. So if anything, you were probably seeing me at my best moment!”
“Huh.”
You can practically hear Idia deflate from behind the door. “’Huh?’ You say… Yeah yeah, think what you want, I can’t even begin to change it.”
You… have a doozy of a soulmate huh?
“Certainly didn’t help that you were flash banged me, almost made me fall down a ladder and threw papers in my face.”
Idia shrank further. “…sorry…”
“Hmm? What’s that?”
“Sorry!” It was a burst of a yell and you had to back up a bit, “I was terrified alright?! I mean, I played all sorts of scenarios and even made a game to prepare for this moment. I had all these scripts in my head and I thought I was ready to trigger the romance flag alright?! But instead, I was stuck in my own head and completely missed it! I messed up and I panicked! You have any idea how scary that is?! You weren’t supposed to see me like that! I was supposed to be at max level by the time I met you but instead, I’m just this unevolved mess!”
You opened your mouth but Idia cut in.
“Fate is inevitable, just as death is… I was going to met you regardless and I guess, I thought, that maybe I had more time. But I didn’t. So I just, wanted you to stay away until I thought I was going to be ready… Ha, either way, it’s my fault…”
…alright, how are you going to handle this? You’re not exactly the best when it comes to emotional comfort.
Well, may as well just use what you already have on hand. Or on arm.
“Didn’t Alexius von Tuveria en Ris think he was ready to rule his kingdom when he brought it back from the ashes?”
You heard a sputter. You continued.
“I mean, the dude was kind of young wasn’t he? Well, not like it matters, he brought it back and someone had to rule it whether he liked it or not.”
Then, you heard Idia actually honk. “No, that’s not what happened! Alexius von Tuveria en Ris wanted to bring back the Kingdom of Paradise not because he thought he was fit to rule it but because he thought it didn’t deserve that fate. It’s not his fault that he was put in that position when he brought it to life!”
Ah, there we go. Switching the subject, your best skill!
You egged him on. “But shouldn’t he have been prepared for that, then? The series did say that he likes to prepare for every thing imaginable because it was a kingdom he was reviving.”
“What the–that’s stupid! He can’t see the future! No matter how much he reads or writes, there’s no way he could’ve predicted that! And even if he did, it wouldn’t have mattered! He couldn’t have stopped the tragedy anyway!”
“Oh that’s right!” you clapped your hands, “Thanks for reminding me. Totally slipped my mind.”
“As long as you know. I hate it when people don’t pay attention.”
Huh, he sounds huffy. That’s cute.
“Sorry, it’s kind of hard to remember with all the stuff that happens in the latest Red Sky Arc, where Alexius just–”
You heard a hard slam against the door. “No spoilers! I haven’t gotten to that arc yet!”
You closed your mouth, almost biting your tongue in the process.
A few seconds, then a minute, and then you burst out laughing.
Idia, meanwhile, was stunned. “W-what? What did I do?”
“No no,” you relaxed, “that’s just the loudest you’ve been.”
“I… I guess that was a bit too loud.” The tone in his voice made him seem bashful. “But I’m seriously not at that part yet. I don’t want to get a head start just yet.”
“Alright, I’ll keep my mouth shut then.” You pushed yourself up and dusted your pants. “I think I’ll be taking my leave here. Don’t want to bother you too much. I just needed to hear an apology and an excuse.”
“Wait, what?”
You turned around, stuffing the map Ortho gave you into your pocket. “See you later, Idia.”
“Wait!” The door slammed open. You turned around.
Idia’s hair was pink at the tips, but at least he didn’t look like he was going to explode. He did look like he was going to collapse though. Poor man looked out of breath.
“I-I,” the pink began to climb upwards the longer he looked at you, “I, uh, I happen to have that season downloaded… on my PC… so if you want to, you know, update your out of date stuff then, maybe you could, you know… watch it with me?”
His head practically disappeared in his hoodie and hair, but you heard him clear enough.
You could tease him, but you don’t know each other well enough so…
You nodded, “Sure, I have time. A lot of time actually.”
That one is a bit of a lie, but you just want to spend time with Idia. You have a number of excuses on hand anyway. You’ll send one off right before settling down.
“Huh? Oh, uh” Idia moved to the side, holding the door like it’ll protect him from his feelings, “C-come in then.”
You stepped inside.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst-drabbles#short story#twst charity#ignihyde#idia#idia shroud#soulmates au#reader insert
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For weird reasons, Tumblr made some errors that made me delete the request, so I'm sorry to the anon who requested this!! 😭😭
Request: Hello can i request platonic yan batfam where Bruce marries readers mom but they turn 18 soon and are counting down the days
Warning(s): Yandere themes, manipulation, victim blaming, slight child neglect, stealing, catching stalking, reader is done with shit
Ever since Bruce married your mom, your life has been better and worse.
The better part was that you didn't have to worry about finances anymore.
Your new father buys you new clothes that nobody could receive, takes you and your new family including your mom to fancy dinners, and allows you to buy anything with his money.
Even with all of that luxurious moments, there is one thing that you can't get off your chest.
Every time you were doing something, you spot at least one of your new family members staring at every movement you were doing.
~~~~~
One time, you were just reading a book in the living room peacefully before you spot Dick staring down at the book you were reading.
"Is that one of Dicken's stories? His stories are so interesting, you know? I've read some of his books when I was a kid cause Bruce basically forced me to read."
Then, he would rant about what things that Bruce basically made him do. So, you just left the living room as he was distracted.
~~~~~
Another time was when you caught Damian stealing your jacket out of your closet.
"Why do you have my jacket? Give it back!"
You tell him as you try to get it back as Damian made it hard to get it back.
When your parents found out about this, they just told you to just give it to your brother and apologize to him for trying to hit him even though you weren't.
Bruce mostly made you seem like you were the bad guy of all this that made you apologize to Damian. This also lead him to keeping your jacket that he stole.
That made you lock your door every time you leave your room.
~~~~~
There was also a time when you finished taking a shower, you saw Cassandra standing from the other side of the door. The two of you just stared at each other for quite some time until she spoke up.
"You should lock your door correctly next time."
She tells you this before she walks off.
This creeped you out so much that you told Bruce about this. But, he dismissed it as 'your sister was just making sure you were safe'. So, he basically dismissed her weird actions towards you.
This was one of the reasons why you wanted to move out of this house to leave once you
~~~~~
When you mentioned to your family about the college or university that you wanted to attend, they were happy for you. Well, most likely your mother.
As she was saying things how she was so proud of you, your stepdad and his family were now making some plans to make sure how they're going to stalk you as you are in school. They needed to see you being safe after all.
For now, they'll just support you by helping you with paperwork, improving your studies, and basically just trying to be all innocent and supportive to you. Well, they are supportive of you, but they won't allow you to leave their sights.
It wasn't the first time that they did this.
~~~~~
Bonus (When reader is trying to go through the meeting with her college administrator without picking up the call that her family is trying to reach her out):
#yandere#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#platonic#batfam#yandere platonic#yandere dc#yandere x reader
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it's so hard to watch everything i want (everything i was spinning down the drain) - trevor zegras
pairing: trevor zegras x original female character
warnings: swearing, angst-ish, mentions of cheating (not between the two main characters), self-loathing, fluff
based on: "bleach" by 5 seconds of summer + "the archer" by taylor swift. title from "bleach"
word count: 15.6k
author's note: tried my hand at writing trevor's pov and it was Hard. this one means a lot to me personally so i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! takes place at least five ish years from now so future fic alert!! trevor is finally employed again and that motivated me to finish this LOL
*****
Trevor Zegras is good at a lot of things. Remembering names and faces is at the top of the list.
It kinda makes sense. He’s been meeting and shaking hands with people ever since he was a teenager, most of them wanting something from him in one way shape or form. It’s not completely a bad thing. He wouldn’t have gotten this far without knowing who he was talking to.
So that’s why it’s such a surprise that it took him a whole damn hour to figure out why the wedding planner for Jack and Amelie’s wedding looked so familiar. Isabelle, she introduced herself as, and he keeps racking his mind to see if he knows an Isabelle, but he comes up empty.
As a groomsman, Trevor was expected to come to the venue earlier. He didn’t have to come a whole week earlier, but he had nothing else going on and the wedding’s in Michigan, so it wasn’t completely inconvenient for him. He just crashed at Jack and Quinn’s, to which the latter rolled his eyes at. But the soon-to-be-married couple were thrilled that he was coming early so they could put him to work, and he was more than happy to help out.
It’s halfway through assembling floral centerpieces when he shoots his head up to the wedding planner across from him. “Belle Holloway?”
Belle looks up with a small smile. “Been a long time since anyone’s called me that.”
“Holy shit. I knew you looked familiar. It’s been so long.”
“Z, are you bothering Isabelle?” Jack calls out from another table. “Please don’t scare her away. She’s been our lifesaver the last year.”
Belle chuckles. “You don’t need to worry, Jack.”
“Yeah, Hughesy. Belle and I go way back.”
Amelie is passing by and hears that comment, raising her eyebrows. “You two know each other?”
“We grew up in the same town,” Belle explains, tying a ribbon around a bunch of flowers. “My brother was in Trevor’s grade in school. They played hockey together for a bit before Trevor got too good and left.”
“Belle was probably the smartest girl in school,” Trevor adds with a hint of pride in his tone. “Can’t say the same about her brother. Where did you end up going to college?”
“University of Michigan.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jack smirk. Weirdo. He literally didn’t even go to Michigan.
Trevor whistles. “Still smart. Where is Connor these days? He went to UConn, right?”
“Yup. He’s with his wife in Chicago now. Doing something with finance.”
Trevor makes a mental note to reach out to his old friend the next time he’s in Chicago. “And little Lily?”
Belle chuckles. “Not so little anymore. She graduated from Parsons last year and works at Michael Kors as a designer.”
Trevor smiles knowingly. “Guess her styling Connor all those years paid off, eh?”
“Guess so.”
(Amelie and Jack are at another table working on centerpieces, overhearing this conversation. They give each other a knowing look as they keep eavesdropping. This is why Belle didn’t seem surprised during their initial consultation when they had to explain Jack’s hockey schedule and why he wouldn’t be able to adhere to the traditional timeline if he wanted to be at all the appointments. Little did they know, she already knew someone in the NHL)
She then asks about his family, because while Trevor was always her brother’s friend, their parents got to know each other pretty well to the point where they would go over to each other’s for dinner enough for her to remember. Trevor talks about how Griffin is off doing God knows what in Florida but having a good time at his sports marketing job and how Ava, who’s the same age as Lily, graduated from Elon and is now in the Philly area as a nurse.
They’re now moving pots of flowers around as they venture into their lives post-grad. “So have you been in Michigan this whole time?” Trevor asks.
“Yeah, though I had a brief stint in Santa Ana. This wedding is my last one here, actually, so a fun one to end on.”
Trevor follows her eye-line at the soon-to-be-newlyweds, who are now decorating the photo station but more fucking around then decorating. Amelie’s slapping Jack’s shoulder as he laughs loudly. Trevor smiles at the sight. “They’re great, aren’t they?”
“They are,” Belle admits. “I’ve worked with a lot of couples, but they’re one of my favorites. From the fact that they’re organized and flexible and so kind and understanding to the fact that they seem to be super in love with each other.”
“You said this is your last wedding here?” Belle nods. “Where you off to next?”
Trevor notices her stiffening a bit, and he immediately wants to take the question back. But the discomfort leaves as fast as it came. “Not sure. Gonna do some last minute packing up and then go home to New York next week to reset and figure it out from there. Connor offered his guest room in Chicago so I might take that. I have some friends that are dispersed around the country as well.” She shakes her head and switches topics and he makes a mental note of her vague answer. “Enough about me. How about you, Mr. NHL? Not gonna lie, when I saw Jack’s list of groomsmen, I had to brace myself mentally when I saw your name.”
“Brace yourself? What does that mean?”
Belle chuckles and his smile widens at the sound. “It’s been awhile, but not everything is different. I’m sure you’re still the life of the party everywhere you go, which means you’re at high risk of intruding on my meticulous plans on the day. Mind grabbing those shears for me next to you?”
He passes her the shears, standing up straight. “Jack’s conned you. He is way worse than I am.”
“Jack is also the groom so he knows that he has to listen to what I say if he wants things to go well,” Belle says. “How have you been, though? Has Anaheim been treating you well?”
“It has. The team’s great. The weather’s great. The beach is right there. Very different from Bedford.”
“Congrats on a great season. The playoff run was fun to watch.”
His eyebrow shoots up. “You watched?”
She shrugs a bit sheepishly. “If a game is on, I’ll usually watch. It’s like white noise to me now, after going to Connor’s, and I guess your games growing up. I went to a couple of Ducks games during the two years I lived in Cali.”
“And you didn’t reach out?”
She wipes her hands on her jeans. “I…you were always more Connor’s friend than mine. Didn’t want it to be weird.”
“It wouldn’t have been,” he assures. “Next time, let me know and I’ll get you tickets. You still have my number?”
“I do.”
“Perfect,” Amelie then comes up and seems like she has a question. “I’ll let you ladies be. Where’s your fiance?” He asks the bride-to-be.
“Quinn just arrived, so probably making sure the bar is all good, since you guys have your weird ass drink preferences,” Amelie says. “We should be almost done here though. Just have a couple last questions for Belle and then we’ll head back.”
Trevor snorts. “Typical. I’ll go find them.” He turns back to Belle with a grin. “Good to see you, Belle. Don’t be a stranger.”
Belle smiles. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”
“I’ll be on my best behavior.” Trevor promises, before walking away.
When things finally settle down a couple of hours later and he settles into one of the guest rooms for the night, he reflects back to his own childhood and memories of Isabelle Holloway, or Belle, as everyone used to call her. Brunette and green-eyed, Belle was decently quiet compared to him and Connor’s wild teenage boy energy, but she was talkative with her own friends and Trevor’s parents adored her. She loved Taylor Swift, and if Trevor looked into it deeper, her blasting her music around all the time probably got Trevor to like it purely through osmosis. She was always clean, happy to do the dishes and Trevor often caught her organizing the living room and basement without being asked. She was incredibly smart, always had her homework done before hanging out with her friends and seemed to always ace her classes with minimal difficulty. Even when Connor gave her shit just because he was the oldest sibling, she rarely dished it back. That kindness extended to all of Connor’s friends as well, including Trevor, even when they were loud and playing video games when she came home from school. Every memory he has of Connor growing up, Belle’s right around the corner.
Belle Holloway had always been too good to them. It’s a no-brainer that her profession is based on giving something to others.
He still follows Connor on Instagram, so he goes to his old friend’s page to find his sister’s page. She’s private, but he doesn’t hesitate on requesting her account. He goes to take a shower and brush his teeth and when he comes back to his phone, he’s delighted to see that she’s accepted his follow request.
Thus begins his stalking.
There’s not many posts to stalk — she only has 47 — but it does span the amount of years he lost touch with the Holloways. There are posts from her later high school years when Trevor had already left Bedford, and he smiles to himself when he sees the post from her high school graduation, with Connor, Belle and Lily all cheesing in one photo. There are various posts from her college years — she must’ve spent a semester or a summer abroad in Barcelona — mixed with some various travels from Yellowstone to Sweden to Miami. Then it gets less frequent after she graduates college, posts of the Michigan landscape, posts with friends on a night out, at a friend’s wedding, the rare photos of just herself. She notices there’s a guy in some of those posts, but no one’s tagged and the caption doesn’t reveal anything, so he figures it must be a friend or ex-boyfriend of some sort.
One thing that hasn’t changed much, he thinks, is how beautiful she is. As he scrolls on her Instagram and thinks back to seeing her earlier today, he kinda can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.
The day of the wedding comes by and it’s an early start for the bridal party. Trevor rolls into the Planterra Conservatory at 8:47 a.m. with coffees for himself, Quinn, Luke and Jack while Cole had gotten coffees for himself, Nico and Alex earlier. The suits are already hung up by the window of the spacious room and beers have already been opened.
“Starting off early, eh?” He sets down the coffees on the table.
“It’s a big day,” Luke calls out from steaming everyone’s suits.
“That it is,” he stops by the chair Jack is sitting in and gives him a hug. “Congrats, man. You nervous?”
“Nah,” Jack smiles. “More excited than anything.”
Quinn grabs his coffee and sits down. “I stopped by the bridal suite just a few minutes ago. Amelie said the same thing.”
Jack lights up at the mere mention of her. “I’m just anxious to see her, to be honest.”
Belle walks in then, clad in a light green jumpsuit and a tan blazer, with a bright smile on his face. “Oh good, Trevor made it. Everyone all good in here? Do you guys need anything?”
Jack grins. “We’re all good here, Isabelle. Thank you. I’ll holler if we need anything. Promise.”
She shoots the groom a semi-skeptical look before nodding. “Okay. I’ll check back in, in 30 minutes.”
“Do you need any help at all?” Nico asks.
She shakes her head with a thankful smile. “You all are too kind. I’m good. Michelle and I are manning the floor. She’s kinda doing my job better than I am, when she has her own bridesmaid duties to worry about.”
“Impossible.” Quinn remarks. “You’re fabulous at your job.”
Belle rolls her eyes fondly, and Trevor’s reminded that even though she’s the one running the show, she’s younger than a majority of the bridal party. “Flatterer.” She takes her phone out of her pocket and clicks her tongue. “Alright. I’m out.” She looks at Trevor with a pointed look. “Zegras. You better come find me if anything goes wrong.”
“Why are you entrusting that responsibility onto me?”
“Because I have so many stories about you that I could tell everyone if you don’t listen to me.”
Trevor gasps in mock offense. “Belle, oh Belle! Resorting to blackmail?”
The whole room laughs as she grins. She stops in front of him, a more serious look on her face. “Call me if anything goes wrong?”
“I gotcha.” He assures her with a firm nod and she shoots everyone one last grin before walking out. If his eyes linger on her, no one has to know.
(Everyone in the room knows. He doesn’t notice them all giving each other knowing smirks)
Jack speaks up first. “Z, if you end up hooking up with my wedding planner, give her a good time at least. She deserves it.”
“Jesus Christ, Jacky.” Trevor groans as everyone cackles. Thankfully for him, they drop it after that.
The next time he and Belle get to interact is after the ceremony — to which he couldn’t stop smiling watching one of his his long-time best friends marry the girl of his dreams, proudly watching at the front as they exchanged vows to love each other forever — when it’s time for pictures and Belle and the photographer are working together to direct everybody where they need to go. Belle stops directly in front of Trevor and focuses on fixing his boutonniere. Her tongue pokes out as she focuses on making it straight after several attempts. Even amongst a crazy day, he feels a sense of calm surrounding him.
She huffs. “Why won’t your boutonniere stay still?”
He smiles down at her cheekily. “On my worst behavior.”
She snorts, before softening. “Thank you for earlier.” He knows she’s referencing when there was a minor mix up with the rings right before the ceremony was about to start and Trevor got it under control within 10 minutes.
“Of course.”
She puts a piece of stray hair back on his head away from his forehead and he feels his heart flutter at her light touch. She smirks a bit. “On your best behavior today, actually. Like you promised.”
“Don’t count on it once the open bar hits.”
She laughs before moving on to fix Luke’s collar and Trevor gets a second to finally take a normal breath.
The next time he spots Belle is well into the reception, when the dance floor is full and the drinks are flowing and everyone is enjoying themselves. She’s nibbling on a slice of cake in the corner, eyes sweeping through the crowd with a small smile on her face
Trevor, who ditched his blazer after ‘Mr. Brightside’ brought the place down at least 7 songs ago, strolls over, hands in his slacks. “Haven’t seen you in a bit, Belle of the Ball.”
Her nose wrinkles. “No one’s called me that since I was 6.”
“A good wedding to end off on?”
“I think so,” she smiles, staring at Amelie giggling as she pours a bottle of champagne into Jack’s mouth. “You having a good time?”
“The best. And I’ve been to a lot of weddings. You did beautifully.”
Belle waves him off. “All in a day’s work.”
“Do you still have fun at weddings? Since you have to work them?”
“Yes and no,” she admits. ‘Yes, because the end result is always worth it and seeing the happy couple live their day is always worth it. No because now when I go to weddings of my friends and family, it’s hard to turn my work brain off.”
“Are you allowed to dance at your clients’ weddings?”
“I usually wouldn’t,” she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Make an exception for an old friend? To celebrate your last wedding in Michigan?”
She looks away for a second. “I don’t want to make Jack or Amelie feel weird.”
“Those two couldn’t care less. I’m sure they’d actually encourage it.”
He shoots what he hopes is an encouraging smile as he offers a hand. She looks at him for a couple of seconds before letting him help her up.
It’s perfect timing as ‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift comes on and the once rowdy floor is calmer, with couples dancing with each other or families dancing with their kids. It’s a dance floor filled with love.
He guides Belle to put her arms around his neck as he carefully places his on her waist.
“I told Connor about seeing you again.” She starts
“Oh yeah? What did he say?”
“He told me to tell you to hit him up the next time you’re in Chicago.”
“Was already planning on it.”
“He also said and I quote ‘if the next thing I hear is that Zegras is dating my sister, I will kill him.’” Trevor tips his head back in laughter as Belle chuckles. “He’s lucky I never dated any of his friends. He had some cute ones.”
“Was I one of them?”
“Nice try. I’m not blowing smoke up your ass, Trevor.” She says dryly. “Besides, I was kinda kidding. It’s not like you or any of his friends would’ve gone for me anyways.”
Now he’s confused. “What?” He thinks she’s joking, but from her face he realizes she’s not. “You do know that like, half of the hockey team had a crush on you, right?” She tips her head back in laughter as he squeezes her waist. “I’m not kidding. It annoyed Connor to no end.”
She snorts. “There’s no way.”
“Up to you whether to believe it or not. Just know that I never lie, Belle.”
She hums, and the way she’s looking at him makes his hands start sweating. He hopes she can’t feel it through her jumpsuit. “What you’ve done with your hockey career and everything, it’s really cool. I’m happy for you, Trevor. You deserve it.”
And he’s heard so many compliments about his career throughout his whole career, but it’s different coming from someone from his hometown. Someone who knew him before he left and knew what he was like before the NHL — before his days at the NTDP, even. Someone who has nothing to gain from complimenting him.
“Thank you, Belle. That-that means a lot coming from you.”
She just smiles back before they fall into a comfortable silence and keep dancing. He twirls her and does an exaggerated dip that has her giggling. They keep dancing and dancing, even as the songs change tempo.
(Amelie, who’s resting her feet right by the dance floor, nudges Jack and gives him a look. She picks up a disposable camera and points it at them, before taking her phone and also taking a picture. She has an inkling that Trevor and Isabelle may want these someday)
“What are you up to before the season starts?”
He shrugs. “I’m not sure, actually. I just need to be back in Anaheim for pre-season in three weeks.”
“Where are you staying?”
“Quinn and Jack have been letting me crash at their place. Don’t have an exact date of when I’m leaving yet.”
Belle snorts, though it’s paired with a smile that seems fond. “Still the same, huh, Trev?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your spontaneity used to stress my parents out, even back then. The reason they still liked you is because you could charm your way out of it.”
“I stressed Kurt and Susan out?” He says, actually worried.
“Oh, hush. It’s not that deep. My dad loves watching you play. There’s been many a family call where I hear a Ducks game on in the background. Unless it’s against the Rangers, of course, in which you don’t matter.”
“To be expected,” Trevor says, heart lifting at the fact that two people who used to drive him around so much still support him, even from afar. “Do they still live in Bedford?”
“Yup. Though with the amount of time my dad spends in White Plains golfing, you’d think they lived there now. He’s loving retirement, clearly.”
Trevor laughs. “I’ll have to hit up Kurt when I’m back for a couple rounds. Does Susan still make the best apple pie?”
“Yup. And everyone still raves about it when she brings it to parties.”
“You think she’d make me a slice?”
“She’d bake you three pies and send you home with them to Julie and Gary.”
He grins. “Never knew little Belle was this sassy.”
“Because you wasted all your time with Connor.” She shoots back with a laugh.
(Honestly, he thinks as he twirls her again, maybe she’s right. Who knows what could’ve been if he had seen Belle as more than just Connor’s quieter, talented sister.)
“You said you’re leaving next week?”
“Yeah. Just need to sort out some boxes to move to storage before driving back to New York.”
“You’re driving all the way back to Bedford?”
She laughs at his slight disbelief. “Well, yeah. It’s only a 10 hour drive.”
Suddenly, an idea pops into Trevor’s head, and before he can overthink it, he blurts it out. “What if I came with you?” She blinks, and he forges on. “I mean, I don’t have much going on and it’d be nice to go home before pre-season. I’ll help you load your car and pay for your gas and meals and-”
“Trevor, I-are you sure? You don’t have to…we literally just reconnected after not seeing each other for over a decade.”
“I know I don’t have to do anything,” he says, now trying everything to convince her. “If I’m overstepping, you can tell me and I’ll immediately lay off. But it just seems like…maybe some company could be nice. And we could switch off driving too.”
She bites her lip and tilts her head curiously, trying to find something in his face. It only took her a couple of seconds to chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but sure. Why not? Come join me on my drive back home.”
He lights up, grinning widely. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“When are you planning on leaving?”
“Monday.”
In two days. Perfect.
“This is gonna be so fun. Just you wait.”
“I don’t doubt it. Fun seems to always follow you wherever you go.”
He has to let her go, since she has some last things to do as the wedding planner. He kisses her cheek quickly before he leaves the reception, to which Quinn raises an eyebrow at but doesn’t say anything. The next morning, during the quick and informal thank you breakfast for the bridal party at a nearby, fancy-ish brunch place, Jack throws him under the bus (“Saw you getting pretty comfortable with Isabelle yesterday,”) and he reveals their plan for the next day.
It might be one of the most TV show worthy reactions from every single person, bridesmaid and groomsmen. Luke chokes on his mimosa, Quinn shakes his head, Alex blinks, Nico has a shit-eating grin on his face, Jack smirks and Cole lets out a bark of laughter. The girls have all been filled in and equally have similar reactions. Amelie immediately says “you’re joking,” Michelle, at the same time as Amelie, says “ain’t no way,” Kaia, like Alex, just blinks. Nicole and Sarah’s jaws drop wide open, Annemarie starts cackling and Isla drops her fork.
“What?” Trevor responds, munching on his bacon. “Why all the reactions?”
“Z, are you sure about this?” Quinn asks, ever the voice of reason.
“Yes? It’s just a drive. Everyone needs a car buddy for that long of a drive. Gives me an excuse to go home too.”
“Trevor,” Amelie starts. “I think we’re all just a bit confused because this is…not that we don’t like Isabelle! She’s wonderful. But this just seems out of the blue.”
Jack snorts. “There’s nothing confusing about this at all.” Everyone, Trevor included, turns to look at the new groom, who just shrugs while taking a sip of his coffee. “He likes her.”
“For real?”
“Oh my.”
“Okay, Z! Atta boy.”
“Haven’t you not seen her for like, 10 years?”
“Have you liked her this whole time?”
“That’s crazy.”
“Woah, woah, woah.” Trevor says above everyone’s exclamations. He waits until everyone’s settled. “I don’t like her. Not like that, at least. She’s just…I don’t know. It was good to see her again after so long. It felt like going back to old times. Simpler times.”
“It’s giving childhood friends to lovers,” Michelle says, making everyone laugh. Trevor rolls his eyes again and the subject is dropped.
Jack volunteers to drive Trevor to Belle’s before him and Amelie’s flight to Greece tonight for their honeymoon. He doesn’t leave Quinn and Jack’s place without chirps from every single person still there, gathering their things and cleaning up. He makes sure to leave with giving Amelie a tight hug and a fond kiss on her cheek before playfully glaring at everyone else as he leaves.
He climbs into the passenger seat. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”
“We’ve known each other since we were 16, Z.” Jack says, starting the car. “Nothing you do fazes me anymore.”
Trevor just hums, staring at one of his dearest friends who is now a husband. “Congrats, Jacky. I know I’ve said it a lot recently, but I’m really happy for you.”
A small smile spreads across Jack’s face, as he automatically goes to touch his wedding ring. “Thanks, man.” Silence falls between them. “Did you ever, even just the slightest, like Isabelle as more than a friend? And be honest with me.”
“No,” Trevor replies honestly. “I always knew she was kind and thoughtful, but she was always just Connor’s little sister and kept to herself and her own friends most of the time.”
“And now? Do you like her now?”
“I don’t know,” Trevor replies honestly. If Jack is shocked, he doesn’t show it. Trevor clears his throat, “We haven’t seen each other in over 10 years. I don’t know her enough anymore to know if I like her.”
Jack just hums. “Look, I…”
“You what?” Silence. “Jack.”
“Amelie and I got pretty close with Isabelle beyond her being our wedding planner. Maybe it’s because she’s close to our age or just easy to get along with. I think…she never told us directly, but I think something happened, Z.”
“What do you mean something happened?”
“Well, I wasn’t there, but her and Amelie went out for casual drinks once to plan some stuff out and Amelie was, you know, casually asking her about relationships and if she ever dreamed of her own wedding, and she got super…not defensive. But Amelie said it was like a switch turned on. All she said is that at some point she did, but she’s not at that point of her life anymore, and then she immediately changed the topic. It’s none of my business, I get that, but she’s also my friend, Z. Just…look out for her, okay?”
“Of course I will,” Trevor promises as Jack slows down in front of Belle’s house. They both climb out of the car and Trevor grabs his backpack, duffle and garment bag from the backseat.
“Thanks for driving.” Trevor embraces his friend in a tight hug.
“Anytime,” Jack says. “Thanks for everything this last week. And just in general. I love you.”
“Love you too, man. Have fun on your honeymoon.”
Jack smiles. “Thank you. You two drive safe, eh? Let Amelie and I know when you're back in New York.”
Trevor just nods, before walking up to the front door and knocking. Within seconds, Belle opens the door with a wide smile. She looks beyond Trevor’s shoulder and waves at Jack as he drives away.
“Hi!”
Trevor can’t help but smile at her energy. It’s infectious. “Hey, Belle. Are you sure you don’t mind letting me crash for the night? I can always get Quinn to come get me later.”
She opens the door wider to let him in. “It’s not a bother at all. As long as you’re good with sleeping on the floor.” He just waves her off, setting his duffle and backpack down and looking around at the barren household. “I would give you a tour, but there’s really not much to see anymore.”
“You need any help?”
She smiles at him sweetly. “I have some boxes in the garage that you could help me move?”
He’s eager to help, until he lifts the first box, grunting about how heavy it is. Belle just chuckles, because why else had she not moved these in her car yet? If she has a professional hockey player volunteering to help her move, then she might as well put him to use, right? Trevor just rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but let a smile peek through at hearing Belle’s giggles. Once the car is packed (it takes longer than usual, as they stand out in the driveway and in the garage inbetween moving, chirping at each other and catching up), they realize it’s getting close to dinner time especially if they want to get an early start in the morning. Trevor asks what she wants to have (“as your last night living in the state of Michigan”) and she lights up, dialing up the place of her favorite Asian fusion takeout place. Trevor tries to hand over his card but she smacks it out of his hand, glaring at him while still on the phone.
It’s a nice day outside, so they decide to venture out and have dinner on the front porch that she’s going to miss very much, leaning their backs against the panels of the house, sitting a comfortable 4 feet apart, Trevor’s knees pulled up and Belle with her legs outstretched and ankles crossed. He watches as she looks out at the sunset painting the quiet residential street, which is even more stunning than usual. If you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of kids gleefully screaming and dogs barking here and there. For a moment, Trevor feels like he’s intruding as Belle continues staring out, lost in her own world. Her focus only shifts a few minutes later when a car rolls up with their take out, as she jumps up and accepts the food with a gracious smile.
He helps her open boxes and suddenly there’s a generous spread of food between them as they start eating.
Trevor breaks the silence. “You never told me why.”
“Why what?”
“Why you’re leaving Michigan.”
She’s in the middle of stuffing a crab rangoon in her mouth. She chews and swallows for a couple of seconds. “It’s a long story.”
“I have nothing but time if you want to share.”
“I lied. It’s not really a long story. Just a sad one. That’s just my go-to when people ask.”
“You don’t have to lie to me. Ever. But you also don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
She lets out a deep sigh. “I was supposed to get married earlier this year.”
He blinks. Once. twice. And he’s speechless for once in his life. She barrels on.
“Nate and I…I met him at UMich my junior year. I had full plans to leave Michigan right after college. Not that I don’t love it here, but I just wanted to go home. But he got an offer here after graduation and I found a gig working for a great wedding planner so I stayed. And it was good. The brief stint in Santa Ana I mentioned was because of his job, so we moved out there. But I really didn’t mind. I actually really enjoyed California.” She picks at her fingernails, “He proposed to me the beginning of last year, a week before we were gonna move back to Michigan. And I was happy. Really happy. So many years I had been planning other people’s weddings and I was finally going to have my own with someone I loved.”
“Belle, you don’t have to-”
She waves him off. “The day of our cake tasting, we were running late and he was in the shower and I grabbed his phone to put in my bag. And there was a text that flashed on my lock screen. ‘Missed you, baby. See you tonight’ and that was it. He had been cheating on me for almost a year. I moved out that night and crashed with a friend for a few weeks before finding this place. Grabbed my shit when I knew he was gone during the day at work. Canceled all of the deposits. Gave the ring back.” She chuckles, albeit sadly. “Funny. The week after I found out, I had my first consultation with Amelie and Jack and honestly, throwing myself into their wedding planning may have saved me, not that they know that. Anyways, yeah. That’s why I’m leaving Michigan. I honestly would’ve done it sooner but I had to stick it out for those two. They deserved it.”
Trevor’s silent for a couple more moments. “Promise me something.”
“What?”
“If we see him out and about, point him out so I can kick his ass.”
Her chuckle comes out broken but genuine. “Connor was real close when I told him. I was afraid he’d just start driving here. So you’d have to get behind him in line.”
“Gladly,” he scoots closer to her and offers an arm. She collapses into his side. “God, Belle. I’m so sorry. No one deserves that, least of all you.”
She sniffles. “It’s okay.”
“No, Belle. It’s not okay. What an asshole.” He can feel tears on his shirt and he starts rubbing her back in soothing circles. “You deserve someone to love you just as much as you love them. Someone to put you above all, who views your love and presence as a privilege. Because it is a privilege. I would know.”
She snorts, still sniffling. “You made fun of me all the time when we were younger.”
“Nah ah ah. Connor did. I didn’t. And that doesn’t mean I didn’t know how lovely you were even back then. Why do you think Connor and I were so against you going on a date with that guy…what was his name?”
“Trent.”
“Yeah. Trent. First of all, just sounds like a douchebag.”
“And Trevor is so much better?”
“Second, because he was an ass. We didn’t terrorize you about it just because. We terrorized you about it because we knew he had cheated on his ex-girlfriend.”
“Maybe if you had ever met Nate, you could’ve sniffed out his bullshit right away. Took me around 6 years to figure it out.”
“You’ve always had good judgment, Belle. No need to blame yourself when you did nothing wrong.”
“Did I though?” She whispers. “Do nothing wrong, I mean. What if-what if I was working too much or I wasn’t attentive enough or I didn’t-”
Trevor shakes his head adamantly. “Belle, no. Stop. Absolutely not. You did enough. You were enough. I’m not gonna sit here and let you pick apart yourself unfairly. You stayed in Michigan for him. You moved to Santa Ana for him. You gave all you had. And he’s the one who fucked it all up. That’s not on you.”
She signs, a bit defeated but musters a small smile. “Thanks, Trevor.”
“Of course.” He stuffs a piece of sushi in his mouth.
She shoots him a small smile that has him swallowing roughly. “Nonetheless, I’m really happy we ran into each other. It’s been nice to have a slice of home back in my life again.”
Trevor just smiles, staring into her warm eyes. “Me too.”
…..
It’s hour two into the 10 hour drive when she breeches the subject again.
“Connor never liked him.” Trevor turns to look at Belle, who has one hand on the wheel casually. He automatically turns the music down as she continues. “He tried to get along with him, for my sake. But Connor was never sold. I always thought it was just him being a protective older brother. When I asked why, he always just gave some vague answer. Didn’t like his vibe, or whatever. It’s been hard not to agonize over now. If I should’ve just listened to him from the start.” Trevor doesn’t know what to say, but just faces her fully so she knows that he’s listening. She lets out a heavy breath as she puts her sunglasses atop her head. “I never asked. How’s your love life?”
Trevor snorts and the playfulness is back in the air again. “Well, not married like Connor is. I’ve had a couple things here or there. Clearly nothing that’s stuck.”
“Any particular reason why?”
He shrugs, suddenly feeling a bit small even though he knows that’s not her intention whatsoever. “I think when people date me, they don’t necessarily want all of me, you know? They want the jokester and the charmer. They don’t want the shifts in mood or the obsession of figuring out why I’m in a scoring drought or the insecurities.”
Belle hums sympathetically. “I think you just haven’t found the right one yet.”
“You sound like Quinn.”
She laughs. “From the small amount of interactions I’ve had with him, I’d say that sounds pretty on brand.” She shrugs. “You have time though. We all do. If that’s something you even want.”
“What? Marriage?”
“Yeah.”
“I do, I think. Want that, I mean. It’s just…hard. And scary. The thought of giving someone all of you? That’s giving them a lot of power.”
“I get it,” she says. “God, I really get that.”
“Is marriage not something you want anymore?”
She sighs. “I don’t know. I think I still do. It’s just…it’s still too soon, you know? And I don’t know if I have the energy to, like you said, give someone all of me again. I got hurt once. I don’t know if I can afford that again.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known. So anybody would be lucky to love you.”
And shit, that kinda slipped out. His heart starts racing as she looks at him briefly in surprise. “That’s…that’s very kind of you, Trevor. Probably too big of a compliment.”
“Not too big of a compliment,” he automatically responds, digging himself into a deeper hole that he can’t even decipher. If he thinks about it too hard, he would realize that this is the most open he’s been with someone outside of his tight circle in awhile. And a week ago, she hadn’t even crossed his mind.
“You know, you were my favorite out of Connor’s friends back then.”
A pang of satisfaction touches his heart and he’s grinning. “Yeah?”
Belle rolls her eyes at his slight smugness. “Don’t let that get to your head.”
“Too late.”
“I don’t know. I just..liked how friendly you were to everyone you encountered. I don’t think there was ever a time when you came over and didn’t strike up a conversation with me. Even though I was quiet and shy, you still always treated me like a person.”
“I feel like that’s the bare minimum, no?”
She shrugs. “Now that we’re in our late twenties, sure. But back when we were 12, 13 years old? You’d be surprised.”
He watches her drum her fingers against the steering wheel, the patterned bandana in her ponytail swinging with the wind, wispies from her ponytail framing her face. If he looks hard enough, he can see 10 year old Belle sitting on the sofa in the Holloway’s living room, a sketchbook on her lap and a glass of apple juice next to her. If he listens hard enough, he can hear her humming to ‘Love Story’ as he leaves Connor’s room to walk past her room in the hallway to the bathroom. Maybe he can even smell her vanilla body spray that used to always filter out of her room if he breathes in deeply enough.
All he can see and hear and feel is his childhood self. Looking at her makes him feel blissfully young, a bit naive and incredibly out of his depth.
She casts him a casual glance. “You good?”
Trevor grins easily. “Never better.”
It’s hour five after stopping for lunch. Trevor’s behind the wheel now and her legs are up on the seat with her as she stares out the window, her chin on her knees. He has an urge to put a hand on her knee. To comfort her or to let her know that he’s there, he doesn’t know. But he refrains.
“Belle?”
“Hm?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
She turns to face him, chin still on her knees. “Should I be nervous?”
He snorts. “No. I’m just a dumb hockey player. What could I possibly say that would catch you off guard?”
“You’re not dumb. And plenty. You knew me when I was 13 and in my awkward phase. That’s longer than most of the people I’ve seen in the last five years. What’s your question?”
Okay, Trevor can dissect all of that later. ““Are you going to miss Michigan?”
She lets out a thoughtful hum. “I’ll miss parts of it. I loved going to college at Michigan, made a lot of friends from college and work. And I grew up a lot here. Not to mention, Michigan’s almost unfairly beautiful. I’ll also weirdly miss my porch a lot. But also, it’s tough driving around with thoughts of Nate at every corner. Because he’s present in practically all the memories I have here. So I’m glad I’m leaving because I know I need to.” He turns to her quickly and sees her lip quiver. Almost as if he had imagined it, she offers a small smirk. “That’s the question you were so afraid to ask me?”
He sputters out a laugh. “What does that mean?” He asks defensively.
She shakes out her hair to redo her ponytail. "You never had a problem asking anything to anyone back in the day.”
“Things change.”
She pauses for a split second before tying up her hair and looking at him. “They do. I’m sorry for assuming they don’t.”
Hour eight and they’ve been in a comfortable silence for a bit now. One can only talk for so long, even someone as chatty as Trevor. Belle’s behind the wheel again and her phone is plugged in playing music. The playlist he had put on initially has cycled through and without asking, he plugged her phone in and shuffled a random playlist of hers.
He vaguely recognizes Taylor Swift’s voice and looks to see what song it is. ‘The Archer.’ His ears perk up as he listens to her softly sing along, and then, he’s actually listening to the words.
Belle’s eyebrows are pinched together as she sings about people seeing right through her and how all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put her together again. He wants to offer her a hand to squeeze, a touch for support, but he doesn’t.
He clears his throat. “So. Santa Ana. What was your favorite part?”
She automatically grins. “All of it? I don’t know. I liked my job. I liked the area. I liked the weather. It felt like a breath of fresh air, in a way.”
“Would you consider moving back?”
“Maybe. I honestly haven’t really thought of anything but leaving Michigan recently.”
He stops asking her questions. He doesn’t want to keep bringing up the pain.
By the time she rolls into the driveway of Trevor’s childhood home, it’s almost 8 pm. Almost as soon as she kills the engine, the front door opens, revealing both his parents. Julie runs out, only barely letting Belle step out of the car before throwing her arms around her. He smiles fondly as his mother puts her hands on Belle’s cheeks as the younger woman chuckles, before turning to Gary and giving him a quick hug as well. Trevor drags his stuff out of the trunk and shuts it, smiling to himself as he listens to his mother invite Belle and her parents over for dinner the next night and watching Belle nod enthusiastically.
She then turns to him and it feels like someone has reached into his heart and punched it. She smiles. “Thanks for the company.”
He puts down his duffle and scoops her into a tight hug, only letting her go after giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Anytime. See you tomorrow?”
“See you tomorrow.”
(And if he catches his mom giving him an inquisitive look as they all watch Belle back out of the driveway, he doesn’t say anything)
Tomorrow comes and Trevor’s content with mostly being lazy, adjusting to being home and around his parents. It feels weird to be in these walls without Griffin and Ava, but then again, he’s sure it’s one-sided. He moved away when he was so young, leaving behind his supportive parents and his even-more-supportive siblings. They got used to Trevor not being around.
He’s recapping Jack’s wedding to his father on the patio while his mom is preparing pies in preparation for the Holloways, the mouthwatering smell filtering through the screen door. He smiles as he recalls the week leading up when he went early and was roped into helping out, how beautiful Amelie looked and how he had never seen Jack that excited and happy before, not when he was drafted first overall, not when he won the Eastern Conference Final. He talks about how their vows made Trevor tear up and just how fun it was to celebrate two people he loves. He talks about reconnecting with Belle and briefly brushes over their drive back. He gives vague answers when his parents — mostly his mom — try to pry more, partially because it’s so much that he’s still trying to decipher it himself and partially because some of it isn’t his place to tell.
An hour later, he can’t help but beam as Belle’s parents greet him similarly to how his greeted Belle the day before. He helps Susan bring in the pasta salad and shakes Kurt’s hand, his slight nerves settling as the first thing Kurt says is how proud of Trevor he is. Belle is the last one who walks through the door, listening to the moms talking animatedly in her ear. She’s wearing a pink floral maxi dress with a denim jacket over her shoulders and she’s glowing. He itches to give her a hug but just settles for a grin instead before turning his full attention to Kurt.
It’s when the parents are filtering outside does he get a chance to say hello to her as they both hang back in the kitchen. She bumps her hip with his. “Long time no see.”
He pulls her into a side hug. “Hilarious. Want anything to drink before heading out there?”
She eyes the few bottles of wine in the mini wine cabinet. “White wine if it’s not too much of a hassle?”
He opens the fridge and grabs a wine glass. “My mom put a bottle in the fridge earlier. It’s her favorite, so if it’s bad, it’s not my fault.” She takes the glass from him graciously and he grabs a bottle of beer for himself as they both head outside.
“It’s weird being here without Connor.”
“I was just thinking earlier how it’s weird being here without Griffin and Ava.”
“At least we have each other, right?”
He hums. “Good thing.” She then gets roped into a conversation with his father and he happily takes a backseat, answering when a question is directed towards him but perfectly content in watching her.
(Julie and Susan, who had never really considered these two as a pair, nudge each other and exchange a few words, watching as Belle laughs while sipping her wine and Trevor just stares at her.
“She was supposed to get married last year. To a guy she met in college.”
Julie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Is that right?”
“Yup. Until she caught him cheating.”
Julie sighs. “I wish we could protect our kids from everything that could hurt them.”
“I do too.” Susan watches her daughter wistfully and lovingly. “She’s always thrown herself into work, But especially after the break-up. You have no idea how relieved I was when she told me she was coming home.”
“Does she know where she’s going next?”
“Not that I know of. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t know.”
“She’ll be okay,” Julie says confidently, rubbing her old friend’s shoulder. “I’ve never had any doubt about Belle.”
“But you had doubt in the others?” Susan teases as Julie snorts. “All our kids are doing well for themselves, but you have one who is the definition of achieving their childhood dream.”
Julie sighs thoughtfully, looking at Trevor. “He’s done well for himself, I think.”
“You think?”
Julie just smiles, clinking her glass against Susan’s.)
Meat is grilled, salads are tossed and food is eaten as the sun fades away. Sometime between sunset and when the sky becomes black, the fireplace is lit and the outdoor lamps are turned on. Trevor switched to water after his second beer, liver still trying to recover from the wedding festivities.
Trevor finds Belle sitting by the edge of the pool with her feet dipped in, sandals to the side of her. Her hands are folded on her lap as she stares down, occasionally kicking her feet a bit to make the water ripple. He clears his throat so he doesn’t startle her. She looks up and her lips quirk up at seeing him, but they soon fall, as she turns back to the water and tilts her head to the side, taking a deep breath.
Trevor licks his dry lips. “Come with me?”
“Where are we going?” She asks, accepting the hand he offers as she gets up and slips on her shoes, adjusting her dress.
“You’ll see. We won’t be long.” Wordlessly, they go around the side of the house to go to the driveway. He catches his mom’s eye and just offers a small smile. Julie’s eyes flicker between him and Belle before she nods. Belle doesn’t say anything as Julie tosses her son the keys to her car, letting Trevor lightly tug her along by loosely intertwining their hands. He opens the passenger door for her and she gives him a grateful look as she slips in.
He hasn’t been to his intended destination in at least five years, but he knows the route all the same, easily driving the seven minutes. He sneaks a glance or two at Belle as the minimal streetlights light her face aglow for a few seconds at a time. Before he overthinks it, he reaches out and grabs her hand gently, waiting for her to pull away. She doesn’t, instead lacing her hand with his and squeezing once.
“I haven’t been here since I was in high school,” Belle says as Trevor kills the engine, the tranquility of the small lake and lookout everyone who grew up in Bedford called “Pink Sun” due to the incredibly beautiful sunsets one could see if they were lucky, no one knowing that it’s actual government name was. He’s almost confident that this specific lookout is private property, due to the string lights adorning the trees meticulously that seem to always be on, but whoever owns the property clearly doesn’t care. He would come in the summers from time to time with friends like Connor after he moved away for hockey, but he knows he didn’t experience it the same way as others did.
“Which tree did you have sex under?” Trevor asks as they get out of the car and open the trunk. He quickly fluffs up the two pillows his mom has in the car at all times and pulls the blanket over them both as they get comfortable.
She chuckles and Trevor immediately smiles at the sound. “Gross.”
“What? Isn’t that what people did?” She just lightly slaps him before they both fall into a comfortable silence again. She takes her hand from under the blanket and reaches out to find Trevor’s. He offers his hand immediately. It feels like the most natural thing in the world.
She starts sniffling, and when he turns to her, concerned, he sees tears rushing down her face. He immediately wraps his arms around her and maneuvers her so that she’s crying into his chest. He tries to be steady for her shaking body, rubbing her back and muttering sweet nothings to assure that he’s here and she’s not alone. He places a couple of kisses on top of her head without thinking because there’s a split down the middle of his heart that’s widening everytime she whimpers.
She cries. The water ripples. Trevor holds her close.
…..
The entire time Trevor’s back home, he doesn’t go more than a day without seeing Belle. They get ice cream, sitting in the chairs that haven’t been replaced in at least 30 years and giggling as the ice cream drips over their fingers. They go back to Pink Sun to watch the sunset. Because this whole month has him feeling nostalgic, he goes back to his old rink in Stamford and she tags along, indulging him as he pulls up his hoodie over himself as they watch the last 15 minutes of a game the AAA team that Trevor used to be a part of is playing in. Some of the front office staff is still the same and they all immediately beam when seeing Trevor. He chokes up a bit when talking to some of them. He’s missed it here more than he thought he would.
After training sessions, he just shows up to her house without any warning. They take a lot of drives, passing by landmarks they know well and ones they don’t know at all. They spend hours chatting on the porch of her parents’ place, waving at neighbors as they walk by and petting their dogs. She doesn’t cry in his chest again, but there are stretches of silence where she craves a comforting shoulder. Trevor doesn’t hesitate to offer his.
He learns more about why she enjoys wedding planning and her time in Michigan. She learns more about how his goals have changed the longer he’s been in the league and his time in Anaheim. They both talk about times they feel like they’ve had their heart ripped to pieces and he finds himself admitting things he’s never admitted out loud to anyone — not Jamie, not Jack, not Cole, not Alex.
He wonders to himself how he’s lived this long without her in his life.
The day Trevor has to leave for Anaheim, she offers to drive him to LaGuardia, smiling as he hugs his parents goodbye in the driveway, promising to see them soon when the Ducks are playing in New York.
She shuts the trunk at the departures drop-off area with a wistful smile. “I’ll miss you, Trev.”
“I’m gonna miss you too.” And then he practically manhandles her into a tight hug, his chin resting on her shoulder, rubbing her back before pulling away. “If you ever wanna come out to Anaheim, there’s always a place for you to stay.”
“I’ll think about it.” With most people, it’s an empty promise. But with Belle, he knows she means it. “Good luck this season. Score some goals, yeah?”
He rolls his eyes, arms still around her waist. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? You have my number. Use it.”
She nods, tilting her head to the side. “Okay.” She presses a kiss on his cheek before he forces himself to let go. She sticks her hands in her jean pockets. “Text me when you land?”
“Of course. Bye, Belle. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye. Travel safe.”
Trevor forces himself not to look back as he walks through the automatic doors.
…..
The first roadie of the season includes a stop in Chicago, and Trevor doesn’t hesitate to text Connor. He feels the familiar pang in his heart again, guilty that he hasn’t reached out until now. But when he and Connor meet up for a quick coffee the morning of the game, it washes away quickly. They fall right back to where they were when they were 16, even though they’re both over a decade older and a bit wiser now. Trevor practically shoves two tickets for the game for him and his wife, even though Connor is trying to bat his hand away.
After the game, the three of them go to dinner and he gets introduced to Ashley, Connor’s wife, who is peppy and fun and he loves seeing her and Connor together. After dinner, Ashley excuses herself to go home as the two of them migrate to a nearby pub. They have years to catch up on.
“Belle tell you about the break-up?”
Trevor scoffs, taking a hefty sip of his beer. “Yeah. Fucking asshole.”
“Took the words right out of my mouth. When she decided to get the fuck out of Michigan, I was relieved.”
“Yeah?”
Connor sighs. “Yeah. I know she says she stayed because of the Hughes wedding, but I also think it’s because she had a hard time letting go. Which, you know, who can blame her, right?” Trevor just nods sympathetically. Connor leans back, eyes flickering elsewhere for a moment. “Thanks, by the way.”
“What for, man?”
“For looking out for her.” There’s a hint of relief in Connor’s tone. “She’s always been independent, I’m sure you remember. And she has a hard time letting people know that she’s struggling, even if we all see it and want to help. Whatever you did, thank you, man. It’s appreciated.”
Trevor bites his tongue. He wants to say that he doesn’t have to thank him for being a good friend, but Connor is adamant. So Trevor just smiles.
…..
The season’s in full swing, but Trevor makes the effort to keep in contact with Belle frequently. Whether it’s sending a meme or calling on his way to practice, Belle becomes a part of his daily life.
A month in Bedford now and he can tell she’s getting a bit restless. She’s taken up crocheting, which Trevor loves to make fun of her for. Until he finds a little box on his doorstep and opens it to find a crocheted Wild Wing. He hands it on his rearview mirror in the car. He doesn’t fully realize she’s watching his games until he sees a text from her after a game against New Jersey (“Don’t let Jack hang the win over your head too much. That slapshot was insane.”) and that has him grinning much too widely for someone who just lost.
On Thanksgiving Day, after one of the guys’ families hosts a Friendsgiving for the whole team, he’s back at his place on the couch when she calls him.
Her face comes up on the screen and he has to smile. “Oh. Hey.” she says gently. “I didn’t actually expect an answer.”
“You just caught me. I just got home from Friendsgiving with the team. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way.”
“Happy Thanksgiving.”
He doesn’t recognize her background. “Where you at?”
“My aunt’s. They’re all watching the game in the basement so I decided to take a break up in the living room.”
“Good food?”
“I’m fucking stuffed,” she admits, making Trevor laugh. “I’m not bad in the kitchen, but nothing beats a good homemade turkey and stuffing.”
“I feel you. So what’s been happening? Haven’t called in a bit.”
“It’s been, like, a week, Trev.”
“Exactly. A bit.”
She rolls her eyes, before leaning back further into the couch. “Actually, I do have news. Kinda.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I, uh, heard back from two people about a job. My old boss from Santa Ana said there’s a spot open for me if I want it. And then my boss in Michigan recommended me to someone in Manhattan, and she called me yesterday and also said I had a job if I wanted it.”
He grins. “Belle. That’s amazing! Congratulations. I’m not surprised though. I know firsthand how damn good you are at your job.”
He sees her blush slightly and he thinks it’s adorable. She twirls her hair around her finger. “Thanks. I’m, yeah. It’s pretty exciting. I’m excited to get back into it again.”
“So. California and New York. Those are two pretty different places.”
She sighs. “Yeah. That’s partially why I called you. Kinda want to get another opinion.”
Before he can stop himself, he snorts. “You’re telling me you haven’t made a pros and cons list already? Don’t think I don’t remember you forcing me to make one when I was deciding if I should go to Avon.”
She tilts her head to the side. “You remember that?”
“There’s not a lot of memories I have from growing up here that don’t have you in them. Of course I remember.”
She bites her lip but Trevor can see the smile peeking through. She clears her throat. “I do. Have a list.”
“So you’ve already made your decision.”
She opens her mouth. Then closes it. “Yes and no. I really do want your opinion, Trevor.”
“Floor’s all yours.”
“I love New York, but I don’t know if I can stay here. If I go back to Santa Ana, is it going to be like Michigan again? I don’t know what Santa Ana is like without Nate.”
“No,” he responds immediately. “It won’t be.”
“How are you so sure?”
“Because Santa Ana is yours, Belle. No one else’s. You said it yourself. You loved your time there. If Michigan doesn’t feel like home anymore and New York feels too much like your past self, California is waiting for you.”
A couple seconds of silence before a small chuckle erupts from Belle. “You take a creative writing class at BU or something? That was actually eloquent.”
If he were next to her, he’d shove her off the couch. He just huffs as she keeps laughing. “My point is, is that you can make fresh starts in familiar areas. Plus, not that I have anything to do with this, but Santa Ana is pretty damn close to Anaheim.”
“Knew you’d say that.”
“I mean, can you blame me? ” He leans back on the couch. “I don’t think you’re incapable of moving on. I think, in a way, you aren’t ready to, and that’s why Santa Ana scares you. You have to and are inevitably going to make new memories wherever you are, but you just have to do it. Take the leap. Dive in the deep end. Whatever the fuck they say.”
And well, that came out a bit harsher than Trevor intended, if the slight flinch on Belle’s face is an indication. But she sighs, “You’re right. I know you’re right. Fuck, Trev. Maybe I shouldn’t have quit and stayed in Michigan.”
“Stop,” he says. “We’re not doing that. Now you have to come out to California. Who else is gonna tell you to get your head out of your ass?” His goal is achieved as she laughs. “Seriously though. Whatever choice you make, you have my full support.”
Four days later, he sees that Belle left him a voicemail in the middle of the game. She’s coming to Santa Ana. Trevor starts organizing the guest room.
…..
Three days into the new year and Trevor finds himself running out of morning skate to drive to LAX. Belle’s staying with him while she looks for her own place, at Trevor’s insistence. He told her she can stay as long as she needs. He hopes she takes that offer seriously.
He rolls up to the arrivals terminal and idles his car, seeing a text from Belle indicating that she’s still waiting to pick up her luggage. He leans back in his seat, taking a deep breath adjusting the baseball cap on his head, bopping along to the latest playlist that he made for this season.
He’s about to do a drum solo on his steering wheel when he spots Belle come out of the double doors, rolling two suitcases, backpack on her back and a tired but genuine smile on her face. He immediately leaps out of the car, running to lift her up in a hug, making her chuckle.
“Hey Trevor.”
He kisses her cheek before putting her down. “Belle of the Ball. How was your flight?”
“Good. Long,” she reaches to get her suitcases and he waves her off, lifting her suitcases easily into his trunk as she slips into the passenger seat. She sags into the seat and turns to him with a bigger smile as he turns on the engine. “It’s really good to see you.”
He reaches to ruffle her hair to ignore the funny feeling in his stomach. “Missed you too.”
They catch each other up on what’s been happening since the last time they talked, so only really the last week. Once he turns off the highway, he opens the windows and he periodically glances at Belle, who’s leaning her head on the seatbelt strap as the houses blur by. She tucks her hair behind both her ears and Trevor feels his throat start to close up.
“Hungry?”
“A bit.”
“Enough to wait a bit so I can cook something up?”
She looks toward him in subdued delight. “You cook?”
“Decently, I’d say.”
“What are you gonna make me?”
Whatever you want, he thinks. “I make a pretty good steak.”
“Well, I’m not gonna say no to a personal chef.”
“Don’t get used to it,” he points at her jokingly. She laughs, but honestly, Trevor doesn’t hate the idea.
Belle’s car got shipped yesterday to Trevor’s place the week prior, so two days later, when Belle starts work and Trevor has to go to morning skate, they leave the house at the same time after cups of coffee and climb into their own cars, Belle wearing a red sleeveless blouse and white jeans and Trevor wearing a Duck t-shirt and shorts.
Before she can fully get into her car, Trevor runs around and squeezes her, making her squeal. “Good luck today. You’re gonna kill it.”
“Thanks Trevor. Have fun at morning skate.”
“Are you still cool with a couple of the guys coming over for dinner?”
“It’s your house, dude. You can invite over whoever you want.”
“It’s also your home too,” Trevor insists.
She rolls her eyes fondly. “It’s not. But of course you can have your friends over. I’m excited to meet them.” She gets in her car, but before she shuts the door, she puts her head out. “Do you mind grabbing some orange juice? I think you’re running out and I drink more of it than you do. Just Venmo request me.”
“Yeah, I gotcha. Won’t Venmo request you though,” she opens her mouth to protest but he just taps the roof of her car twice. “We can talk about splitting stuff later. Bye now!”
“Dick,” she mutters as she shuts her door. He chuckles. He lets her back out of the driveway first.
That night, Mason, Jamie and Leo come over and the four of them are finishing up cooking dinner when Belle walks in. A bit flushed and sweaty, she’s nothing but smiles as she slips off her shoes, putting down her bag and introducing herself. She hugs each of them with a sweet smile before finally reaching Trevor. She hugs him like she did with the other three, but he thinks she holds on a bit longer. He smacks a friendly kiss on her cheek, but he catches Jamie’s eye as she pulls away and he knows he’s going to absolutely be grilled about this tomorrow.
Dinner’s practically ready and the guys just shoo Belle away to the dining table, Leo pouring out a glass of wine for her. They chat and swap stories over chicken alfredo and salad, and Trevor’s content sitting back and watching two different parts of his life come together, not even jumping in to defend himself that much when she recalls some shenanigans from Jack’s wedding. Sure, they at least know of Jack, Alex, Cole and other various members of the NTDP crew who knew him when he was 17 and stupid, but Belle’s known him since they were children. Whether she — or Trevor even — realizes it or not, Belle and Trevor know each other in the purest way. The way only childhood allows, where filters of judgment, insecurities and expectations cease to exist.
Even with almost two decades lost in translation, Trevor thinks, in a way, Belle might know him better than most. And he might know her better than most.
Which is why he can sense that an hour after dinner, that Belle is exhausted, so he takes the initiative and the guys immediately pick up on it, bidding Belle goodbye and making her promise that she’ll come to a game soon. Once the door shuts, Trevor goes to start washing the dishes, batting her hand away when she tries to help.
“Trevor. You cooked. I’ll clean.”
“Nope. Go to take a shower. You’ve had a long day.”
“You have too.”
He waves her off. “Go. I got this.” Her shoulders sag in defeat, but she shoots him a thankful smile and heads to shower.
He’s just about finishing up the dishes and wiping down the counter when she walks back in, an old Michigan t-shirt and flannel pants on. She has her book in her hands but comes by next to him. “Are you sure you don’t need help cleaning up?”
He puts the kitchen towel back on the hook and swings an arm around her shoulder, bringing her against his side. “I’m sure. Where you unwinding for the night?”
“Probably the living room, if you don’t mind?”
“Belle. My home is your home. I mean it. I’ll probably join you after I shower.”
And he does, coming back in afterwards with only the living room light being on. He sees Belle curled up on the couch, engrossed in her book as one of the candles he rarely uses is lit up on the table in front of her. The air smells faintly of pine.
“Do you mind if I put on some football? I’ll put the volume low.”
She hums. “Not at all.” With her feet in his lap, blanket tucked over both of them, Trevor thinks that he could get used to this.
…..
Two weeks later, they’re finishing up their takeout when Belle clears her throat. “So I found a place that seems promising.”
Trevor stiffens. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s about 10 minutes from here. Just renting for now, which isn’t ideal. But it’s so soon, you know? I don’t wanna buy yet.”
Trevor understands the latter part, absolutely. But he’s still stuck on the first part of what she said. “When would you think of moving out?”
“At the start of the month.”
“That’s next week.”
She grimaces, washing their utensils. “Yeah. I just…I want to get out of your hair as soon as possible.”
“Belle,” his voice lowers into a serious tone that doesn’t come out of him that often. It works, because it gets Belle to look at him. “If you want to move out, I can’t stop you. It’s ultimately your decision. But I love having you here. So please don’t…don’t think you have to move out to get out of my hair. Because you don’t. I’d love for you to stay and live with me. Full time.”
Belle swallows, searching for something in his face. “You mean that?” She whispers.
“Of course I do.” He pushes on. “And you know I’m a shitty liar.”
She chuckles as she finishes washing the dishes. On her way to the bathroom, she stops and just hugs Trevor. He welcomes it with a big smile. “You 100% sure?”
“Yes.”
She pulls away with a smile. “Okay. Your porch is better anyways.”
Trevor laughs, his mind briefly flashing to an image of this place that had been only his for so long one day becoming theirs, with her throw pillows on the couch and fairy lights on the porch and photos of their friends and loved ones hanging on the walls, some they share, some they don’t.
…..
Trevor fully admits it to himself when Christmas rolls up and Belle refuses to go back to New York.
(“There’s no way I’m leaving you alone for Christmas, Trev,” she insists with an eye roll. “We’ll start our own tradition here. It’ll be great.”)
He doesn’t even try to hide his fondness as he watches Belle teetering at the edge of a chair to hang up lights around their living room. Some random Christmas playlist he had queued up at Belle’s prodding is playing through his speaker, and he doesn’t think “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” deserves the grin plastered on his face.
Belle, though. She might deserve it. Be the origin of it, really.
They make too many cookies that they'll have to gift his teammates and her coworkers just so they don’t end up eating all of them. They have holiday movies on in the background for three days straight, some they pay attention to, some they just leave on for background noise. On Christmas morning, after two cups of coffee on Belle’s end to deal with Trevor’s incessant rambling, they’re sat in the front of their tree. The curtains are drawn, offering minimal lighting into their living room. Yet, the twinkling lights on the tree and around their living room paint Belle in the warmest of lights. The blue fluffy blanket wrapped around her shoulders only adds to her softness and Trevor has to excuse himself after they exchange presents to go in the bathroom.
He splashes cold water in his face and stares at himself. He’s fully in fucking love. Shit.
…..
After that realization, he does the only thing that makes sense to him. Two days later, on the way to practice, he calls Jack. As the phone rings, he thinks that he probably should’ve checked to see if the Devils were playing today, but he also couldn’t be bothered.
Three rings later, Jack’s scratchy voice is projected through Trevor’s car. “Hello?”
“Hey dude.”
“You’re cutting into my pre-game nap. This better be fucking good.”
“I think I’m in love with Belle.”
Silence. A rustle on Jack’s end, before, “Jesus Christ. I knew Amelie should’ve taken the day off today.”
“Jacky,” Trevor practically whines. “Be helpful.”
“Give me a second to think and I will be,” Trevor stops at a light. “Dude. I mean, not completely out of left field. But in love love? That’s big. Considering you only reconnected, what, three months ago?”
“Yeah, I know. Am I being stupid? And I need you to be real with me and tell me if I am.”
“No.”
“I’m not being stupid?”
“No, you’re not being stupid. Z, I knew I wanted to marry Amelie, like, two months after I met her, and we weren’t even dating yet. You and Isabelle have known each other since you were kids.”
“Yeah, but we lost touch for over a decade.”
“Okay and? You spent a good amount of time together when you went back home, right? And she lives with you now, right?”
“She was the only one around at home, and we’ve been living together for maybe a month.”
“Dude, are you trying to convince yourself you are in love with her or that you’re not?”
Trevor shakes his head. “Sorry, sorry. Right.”
He hears Jack let out a sigh. “I know you’ve been burned in the past with relationships and stuff, but this is a good thing, okay? She’s a great person. Try not to freak out about it so much.”
“And do what instead?”
“I don’t know,” Jack says sarcastically. “Maybe tell her?”
“Absolutely not,” Trevor says.
“Why not?”
Trevor’s about to tell him that Belle literally was supposed to be married a year ago but clamps his mouth shut. He’s not sure if Jack knows and that’s not his story to tell. “It’s just not a good idea.”
“Lame.”
“I’m gonna hang up and call literally anyone else.”
“Do it,” Jack challenges the empty threat, before softening. “Do you have any idea if she likes you back?”
“No,” Trevor says. “But I also haven’t been thinking about that because I don’t wanna…scare her off? I know she likes me as a friend, otherwise we wouldn’t be living together. But that’s probably all there is to it.”
“Maybe,” Jack says. “Or maybe you’re making assumptions. I’m not saying you have to do anything now, but you’re not stupid, Trev. Especially with stuff like this. And hey, at least you’re in love with someone as awesome as she is. Ooh, can you imagine you two getting married? It would be full circle!”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Trevor says as Jack chuckles. “Thanks, man. Seriously.”
“Anytime. And Z?” Trevor hums to tell Jack to go on. “Don’t beat yourself up so much. You don’t know until you ask.”
Those last two sentences echo through Trevor’s head for the rest of the day, even when he’s at practice and going through the drills. After so many years in the league, he usually always can leave his thoughts at the entrance of the rink and just focus on hockey. But not today. He can tell Troy wants to ask something, but he refrains. It’s not like a distracted Trevor appears often, and Trevor’s thankful his teammate doesn’t push.
When the front door swings open that night and Belle calls out her greeting, Trevor is coming back from being outside the last few hours, where he sat and listened to the birds and just stared at the grass, lost in thought.
Then Belle comes into view, gray sweater over a cream satin dress, tote bag on her shoulder and a tired but bright smile on her face, and Trevor’s not lost anymore.
In fact, as she slides over to him in her socks across the hardwood floor and hugs him in greeting, immediately talking about what they should make for dinner tonight, Trevor’s never felt more sure of where he is and where he should be.
…..
Trevor’s on a long roadie during Valentine’s Day, but he makes sure that he delivers flowers to the house before Belle has to get to work. He had spent an ungodly amount of time selecting which bouquet he wanted to send, and Jamie, the saint that he is, had only blinked when he saw what Trevor was looking at on his phone on the bus home from the game before Trevor could lock his phone.
Imagine if it was Troy. Or Mason. Or fucking Leo, who’s just as much a menace as he was the first day Trevor met him. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s a darling, but Trevor knows better.
He ended up choosing a bouquet from Fresh Sends because the packaging looks sick with the newspaper and the bright colored box and the reviews are all high. Without hesitation, he had picked the largest bouquet, which he knew if Belle knew how much it cost, would probably kick him out of the house or something. But she doesn’t ever need to find out. On the bus, he had hastily typed out a custom note.
Belle,
Happy Valentine’s Day!! Wish we could be watching shitty rom-coms together but I hope this makes up for it. Thankful to have you in my life again. See you when I get back!
Z
It’s not overly romantic, but he can’t exactly confess his love for her over a note when he’s across the country. If he ever confesses, he’s gonna tell her in person, not hide behind a note like a coward.
He wakes up on February 14 in a hotel room with a bleary smile as he wipes the sleep away from his face.
Belle of The Ball
*picture of the flowers*
Trevor!!! these are so so beautiful thank you
You really didn’t have to
Good luck against the Rangers tonight! And tell your parents (and mine) that i said hello❤️
Trevor nets two goals and an assist. He’s on top of the world.
…..
He’s pleasantly surprised to see that he has an incoming call from Amelie on his way home from the rink a week later.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite Hughes.”
Amelie chuckles. “Quinn’s gonna be devastated.”
“Quinner has nothing on you.”
“Flatterer,” she says dryly.
“What’s up?”
“Jack told me. About you and Isabelle.”
Trevor almost snorts. When he first met Amelie, way back when they were in their early twenties, she had been way more hesitant on giving her opinion among Jack’s oldest friends. But with time, her sarcasm and vivacity came out, and while Trevor had been initially surprised and amused, it made sense. Anyone who would choose to spend their life with Jack Hughes has to be able to hold their own purely to rival his constant need for attention.
“Did he now?”
“You’re the worst. I’m not gonna tell you the same stuff he did, which by the way, I’m actually pretty impressed by. From the recap he gave me, he actually said some useful stuff. But I will say something that he forgot to tell you.”
“And what is that?”
“That you’re wonderful, Trevor.”
That’s not at all what he was expecting to come out of the photographer’s mouth. All he can muster out is an “Oh?”
“Yeah. And obviously Jack believes the same thing. You know that. But you’re such a lovely guy, Trevor. I’ve known that since the day we met, don’t get me wrong. But I-I’ve talked to Isabelle a few times since the wedding, and she always brings you up. And it’s always positive.”
“What does this have to do with my feelings for her?”
“Do you feel like maybe you feel like you’re not good enough for her? Is that partially why you’re hesitating on telling her? Take out the fact that she was in a long relationship before and broke off an engagement.”
He blinks. “She told you about the engagement thing?”
“Yeah. She came out to Jersey to grab dinner with Jack and I, like, two weeks before she moved to California and told us then. That’s not the point.”
He doesn’t remember Belle mentioning that. But like Amelie said, not the point. “I-I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Trevor. You’re one of the best people I know.”
“That can’t be true,” he tries to protest.
“But it is,” Amelie presses on. “You’re loyal. You’re funny. You have the ability to make anyone feel comfortable, even if you just met them. Your infectious energy elevates every room you walk into. You care deeply about everyone in your life. You were the first of Jack’s friends to be so openly kind to me and you continued to be kind to me even when I didn’t deserve it.”
“I’m loud. Harsh. Always has to be on the go or I get bored. Life of the party maybe and a fun time usually, but that’s it.”
Amelie scoffs. “Respectfully, shut the fuck up. Okay, you’re all of those things, so what? You think she doesn’t already know? She probably knows better than any of us. I get being hesitant to do anything because she’s maybe on a different page, I get that. But it’s not because you’re not good enough. Get that shit out of your head.”
Trevor has to laugh, both at the abruptness of this call and unbridled honesty from Amelie’s voice. “I’m not gonna lie. Getting chewed out by my best friend’s wife wasn’t on the list of things I expected today.”
“If you think I’m chewing you out now, you’re lucky Clementine doesn’t know about this yet.”
Trevor actually shudders at the possibility of Clementine Sandoval (well, Clementine Hischier as of two years ago but old habits die hard), lecturing him about this. He still remembers Clem’s lectures she would give Quinn, Jack and Luke when they were all in Michigan. They would usually be over the phone, since she was already out in California for school by then, but even at 17, Trevor knew she wasn’t someone to be messed with. Who else in the world, besides Ellen Weinberg-Hughes, can somehow lecture all three Hughes brothers successfully in one breath?
“She doesn’t?”
“Eh, usually she would. But she’s in her last trimester and Nico would kill me if I stressed her out more.”
And well, Trevor thinks that’s fair enough. He quiets again, thinking. “You think we could be a good match? Belle and I?”
“Yes,” Amelie says with no hesitation. “And I’m not going to tell you why, because I’m pretty sure deep down, you already know.”
He kinda hates that she’s right. Damn, is he this easy to read? He hangs up, but not before promising to give her a call more often.
As they’re leaving practice, Jamie nudges him with his shoulder. “How’s Isabelle?”
“She’s good. She has a wedding in Santa Monica this weekend so I haven’t seen her that much this week.”
“She a good roommate?”
Trevor smirks and elbows him lightly. “Better than you ever were.”
Jamie’s jaw drops, indignant. “Hey! I was a great roommate, thank you very much.”
“You were, you were. Nah, she’s great. We did Christmas just the two of us and it was really nice.”
“Just the two of you?”
“Fuck off, Jimmy.”
“I’m just asking! She chose not to fly home and stayed here with you instead. Ever think about what that could mean?”
Trevor has thought about it a lot recently, actually. But Jamie doesn’t need to know that. He lets out an uncommitted noise, but the look on Jamie’s face tells him that he’s not fooling anyone. Least of all, one of his dearest friends.
Trevor needs to tell her soon. Or get over it.
…..
Trevor never thought to really ask Belle if she wanted to go to a game, which is weird, because why wouldn’t he want a friend out in the stands to cheer him on? But he also knows that Belle wouldn’t be afraid to just ask if she wanted to go, and that her ideal time to unwind after work isn’t necessarily to go into a rowdy arena. She’s perfectly content snuggling in on the couch and watching the game on TV.
But when he mentions that Cole and the Canadiens are coming into town to play, she perks up. During the whole wedding weekend, Trevor could tell that she got pretty comfortable with Cole. Which, to Trevor, makes complete sense. Cole has the ability to make friends quickly and genuinely anywhere he goes. He leaves a ticket on the counter before heading to morning skate, as well as a note allowing her permission to raid his closet for any Ducks merch she so desires to wear.
The game is a fun battle that goes into OT, but Leo gets the game winner with an assist from Trevor and the Honda Center goes nuts. Trevor has plans to grab dinner with Cole and Belle, and he’s in good spirits during media before he meets up with Cole and goes outside to where he told Belle to meet them.
The boys see her before she sees them. Belle’s leaning against the wall of the arena on her phone, one of his jerseys tucked into black jeans and a black blazer completing the look. Cole calls out her name and she immediately puts her phone away with a smile, letting Cole hug her tightly with a chuckle. Trevor trails behind, watching the scene in happiness. Trevor tells Belle where he made dinner reservations, and she gets into her own car to follow them.
As Trevor watches Cole and Belle talk at dinner, it’s overwhelming, his love for her. Cole’s pulling out some old-school stories from way back during their program days and Belle’s absolutely loving it, pulling out some of her own stories from her college days and Trevor feels so fucking lucky. There’s a particular thing that Cole says that has her coughing up her water and she’s laughing so hard and Trevor feels so fucking fond.
Tomorrow, he promises himself. He has to tell her tomorrow.
…..
He doesn’t tell her tomorrow. But in his defense, he has to go on a road trip and she’s busy at work.
Somehow, after dinner with Cole, he had gone to sleep earlier than she did but had woken up before her to a short but sweet note on the kitchen counter. In her cursive, he smiles at her words.
Trev,
Thank you for dinner and a fun game <3 Wanted to tell you tonight but by the time I got out of the bathroom you were already in bed (old man). Good luck on your road trip to wherever!!
Love,
Belle
He takes the note and folds it carefully, tucking it into his wallet.
…..
At the end of the day, he ends up just blurting it out.
He comes home from the road trip to the smell of something absolutely delicious floating through the house. He peeks his head around the corner to see Belle flittering around the kitchen, stirring something in a pot. The oven beeps and Trevor decides to make his presence known.
“Smells good in here.”
Belle looks over her shoulder and he realizes she’s wearing one of his Ducks hoodies he must’ve had lying around. She beams. “Hey! Welcome home. I felt like making some good old grilled cheese and tomato soup with some roasted vegetables because I guess we need those. Don’t tell your coaches if this fucks up your diet-”
“I love you.”
And well, shit, because that’s definitely not how he pictured this going. For a split second, he thinks he imagined it. But Belle freezes, her back towards him, and he has no idea what to do.
After what seems like a lifetime, she turns off the stove and turns around. “What?”
Trevor walks forward, “I love you. I’m in love with you. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way and that’s okay! I really don’t want this to change anything between us because I love our friendship. But I-I had to say it because it’s driving me crazy not saying it.”
“Trevor-”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry. Y-you’re such an important part of my life and I really hope this didn’t fuck everything up-”
Belle rushes towards him to put her hands on his shoulders, steadying him. He forces himself to take a deep breath and to stop his hands from shaking, staring at his feet. He’s breathing really fast, but Belle’s orange blossom perfume and touch calms him down ever so slightly.
“You good?”
He swallows roughly. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” she says softly. He gets the courage to look at her face. He sees her smile and he can’t help but smile too. She clears her throat. “I-I thought it was clear, but I guess I’m out of practice. I feel the same way, Trevor. I like you a lot. Maybe not…love. Yet. B-but you’ve become my favorite person. And these last few months have been so…lovely. I just-I haven’t said anything because I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”
“That’s okay,” Trevor rushes to assure. Because holy shit, she likes him back? This was farther than he thought he was going to get. He chuckles lightly. “I…shit. Sorry. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact you like me like that.”
“Trevor,” she trails her hands down his arms to grab both of his hands. “Of course I do.”
“Oh,” he says softly.
Belle’s eyes water, and Trevor immediately feels the surge to make her feel better. “But I don’t know if I’m ready, Trev. I don’t know when I will be. And I can’t be the asshole and ask you to wait.”
“Why not?” Trevor challenges.
Belle looks at him incredulously. “Because that’s unfair.”
“Well too bad. Because I’m not gonna listen to you.”
“What?”
“As long as you need. Take your time. I mean it. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here. I promise.”
She bites her lip, “Trevor, you can’t possibly promise something like that.”
“I can, actually. And I will.”
She opens her mouth, then closes it, before laughing. She squeezes her eyes shut as he places his hands on her cheeks to cup her face. “Okay.”
He raises an eyebrow playfully. “You’re not gonna fight me?”
She shakes her head. “You’ve never been the kind of person to back down.”
He laughs and he so wants to kiss her. But he doesn’t, instead just placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’ll let me know when you’re ready?”
“If you’re still around,” she jokes.
Trevor grins, his heart growing four times its size. He feels like it might explode out of his chest. “I’ll always be around for you.”
#k writes#hockey fanfiction#hockey fanfic#nhl fic#nhl blurb#nhl fanfiction#anaheim ducks#trevor zegras#trevor zegras x oc#trevor zegras fic#nhl
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Binding the book
duke!gojo x fem!reader
This is in a manhwa au?? I don't want to call it a royalty au since neither of you are royalty but its essentially your average manhwa plot
I've decided to write something completely unrelated to the canon plot of jjk since I'm still in the process of watching the anime lmaooo
i feel overwhelmed by this anime tbh someone save me , i might just skip to the second season since i've already seen the first one back when it first came out but lowkey forgor everything😵
He's talking to her with that smile on his face again. You really shouldn't be bothered by this anyway, so why do you keep staring? You know how this story ends for you anyways.
You quickly turned around, not wanting to invade upon Satoru's buisness any further. You weren't outright bothering him, but you have a feeling he wouldn't enjoy you staring at him from behind the corner like some stalker. Not when he has better things to be looking at.
You've been married to Gojo Satoru for exactly 3 months now. It was a marriage born of neccessity, pure interest to stop marriage pressure from your families. Atleast on his side, it was. He made that clear during the marriage proposal.
"Well, I'm mostly just doing this so mom stops nagging me about finding a wife already. I'm sure the same applies to you."
Those words have been replaying in your head for a while now. You've known Satoru only for about a year at that point, and even then it was mostly through social events you attended that he also happened to be attending.
So needless to say, it was simulaneously a complete surprise and completely expected when he suddenly gave your family a surprise visit to offer his hand in marriage.
You knew there was zero romantic feelings involved from the very beginning, so you know you shouldn't be surprised if Satoru wants to leave you for Lady Ichikawa, the girl he talks to almost every day. But your heart can't help but clench at the sight, and you wish Satoru could...
Nevermind.
You should be attending to your duties anyways.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You sighed, practically collapsing on your bed. Finance is not fun, to say the least. Being the Lady of the house is a suprisingly tiring job, and definitely gives you more respect for your mother.
The servants had already helped you change into your night gown, and you were perfectly ready to hit the hay right now.
As the servant put out the lights in the chandelier, you thought about Satoru again. The guy is an annoyingly persistent thought in the back of your head, that's for sure.
You haven't even talked in a week.
Sure, the two of you tend to get busy, but this essentially just proves to you what kind of marriage this is. If he did care about you, he would've checked up on you atleast once, wouldn't he..? You don't have a right to complain about it anyways, since you were the one who agreed to the marriage in the end. You should be grateful you even had a say in it.
As the servant closed the door behind you, you clutched the pillow in your hand. Maybe if you keep being useful, he won't discard you. You've only been thinking of yourself up until now. You just now realise that if he leaves you for Lady Ichikawa, you'll lose your family face.
This is shaping up to be a nightmare.
Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door. "Oiiii, can I come iiiin?"
Well, speak of the devil. You would recognise that voice anywhere. "Sure, come in." you said so, but did you want to face him right now? You felt conflicted, both really happy and really nervous.
As the door opened, you turned your head, his silhouette, illuminated by the lights in the doorway coming into view. "Man, it's dark in here. You're going to sleep so early?" he said casually as he turned on the oil lamp on your table.
You only nodded in response, looking at him with half wonder half suspicion. Why is he paying you a visit all of a sudden? "What..? Can't a husband visit his wife?" Satoru furrowed his brows, noticing your dimmly lit expression and sitting down on the edge of your bed.
"I'm happy you're here." You assured him. And you truly were.
"Right, of course you are." Satoru smirked boldly at you, but somehow, you could tell that he was relieved to hear it. He looked in front of him.
"I got you this." he said a little more quietly, handing you a book as you sat up in bed. But it wasn't just any book. "No way... how did you even get your hands on this?!" you blinked multiple times in the dim light, making sure your eyes weren't playing tricks on you.
When you realised how loud you just were, you quickly covered your mouth, and Satoru laughed at you for a bit before saying "I have my ways."
"That... doesn't answer the question. How much did this even cost?"
"...You shouldn't worry so much."
That idiot... You took another look at the book in your lap, the rare book you were trying to get your hands on for 3 years at this point. You can't help but wonder if the emergency finance work you had to do today has something to do with this.
"...Why?" you looked back up at him.
"Why what?" he flashed his usual smile at you, his white lashes fluttering as he gazed at you. This all seems... odd.
"Why did you get this for me? Why would you spend so much money on me? How did you even know I wanted this? What are you trying to do... here..." your last question died off as you saw his expression slowly shift to one of concern.
"You're... my wife? And I happen to know you want this? What kind of questions even are those, seriously." he scoffed, shaking his head.
"But... Lady Ichikawa..." why would he spend money on you when he could be putting it towards his future with Lady Ichikawa? Wait, why did you even start assuming that he'll leave you any minute to begin with? Gosh...
"Oh, her? Wait... are you jealous?" he raised his eyebrows playfully, leaning back. "Not really, I just thought that you... like her more than me." it felt strange finally admitting this to him.
"Ehhh.... She's just a friend, ya know. And I actually mean it. Why would I like her more?" Satoru looked as unaffected as ever, smiling at you. But beneath that nonchalant attitude and those shining blue eyes of his, you could feel confusion, doubt, and something else.
"You said in your proposal t-that... So I thought Lady Ichikawa..." all the turmoil that had been building up inside you for the last three months finally let loose, with you trying your best to speak through your tears. Isn't this pathetic?
"Shhh, I know what I said back then. But now that I actually have you, I dunno anymore. I wanna try out this whole love thing." Satoru moved up on the bed, moving over to your side and gently petting your head.
"In other words, you can stop crying now. Because I'm not letting you go anytime soon."
i dont like this one all that much I'll be real, but then again when do I ever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
this is actually based on a very specific manga plot, if you get it right I'll give you a gold star ⭐
#˗ˏˋ ★ ♡ 「Wolfie’s other works」 ♡ ★ ˎˊ˗#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#jjk au#female reader#fem reader#x female reader
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I just found your blog and I love it SO MUCH! And I was wondering if I could PLEASE request Bale?? Bruce wayne and Jason Todd Dating Rich reader hcs??
Bruce Wayne/Jason Todd x Rich!Reader Headcanons
-Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in headcanons and read request rules -
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Bruce Wayne
Bruce would probably find it easier to be with someone who grew up in a similar way he did, except from the trauma he faced. He doesn’t mind how much money you have because he’s going to want to spoil you regardless and doesn't see your financial status as a cause for concern unless he suspects any shady business.
If the two of you have a pretty similar lifestyle in terms of finances then he isn't going to need to introduce you to new things life galas or the way he handles business during the day. It may also help you be more understanding of the minimal time he has to spend with you privately due to already having witnessed the amount of time and effort it takes for someone in Bruce's position to keep things running smoothly in their businesses but also while ensuring their own privacy.
Being from a wealthy and well known family, there is definitely going to be a lot of publicity surrounding the two of you so being followed by reporters and anyone working for any tabloid newspapers and magazines will be expected when you're spotted in public. Bruce would greatly appreciate it if you kept things private, if you went and told them a lot about him or actively looked for the publicity then Bruce wouldn't keep the relationship going for any trouble and leaked privacy that might come from it.
Bruce prefers the meaningless but highly meaningful moments he has with you, such as quiet dinners together or getting ready for bed (more like the early hours of the morning once he comes back and is able to rest for a short while). He doesn't find any genuine joy from doing anything flashy or going out of his way to do things that are "impressive" if you aren't going to enjoy the simple and quite tired side of him. Anything he does that is flashy is essentially just for show and to keep up the persona he's built.
Regardless of this, Bruce is still going to spoil you quite a bit, but he would just do it in more subtle ways, or if he does doe something extravagant he would prefer to keep himself humble and quiet (leaving his big public shows just for any publicity he finds to be necessary or expected of him). You'll usually find he'll refuse you from giving any presents back and may even sneak things into your collection of clothes or jewellery rather than presenting to you outright if you start getting sick of his constant apology presents (apologies for being busy and missing dates, or having to cancel plans last minute).
Jason Todd
Jason might be slightly put off at first when he finds out that you're rich. He doesn't want to be responsible for getting someone who may have been sheltered for a lot of your life into danger (if that were the case) and he also hasn't had many good experiences with other people outside of the family who are accustomed to having a lot of money. As long as you're humble about your wealth and don't make it the focus of your life and personality then he should get along fine with it.
In no way would Jason want to become public, or at least known for dating someone who comes from a well known family; he values his privacy more than enough to keep himself distanced from Bruce in public already, he doesn't need things to backfire by being photographed with you. If the two of you are going to date, then he's going to keep it incredibly private and keep things quiet until he's literally unable to continue doing so.
Jason will actively avoid all tabloids and reporters like they were the plague, and in no way can you convince him to behave any differently. No matter how happy he is with you in private, other than the people who know you both extremely well there will be no record of him being near you at all. Not only for privacy reasons, but to also keep his tracks covered and to keep you out of danger in the long run.
He will be more than happy to take you out on dates in places he has fully control over though, and will make sure neither of you are bothered in these places giving you both complete privacy. He just needs to be in control of the situation, if he's able to ensure things go to plan and aren't interrupted by anyone trying to find out who you're with or taking photos of him when they aren't supposed to then all will go smoothly.
Just because Jason doesn't like showing off with money doesn't mean he won't spoil you. He'll literally go out of his way to get you anything you ever want, even if you're left confused where he gets the money from (because it's definitely not happily from Bruce) but he won't let you get concerned about any of that. He'll essentially ensure you keep living the rich life you're used to as he continues to live on cheap take out and hiding his night life from you for as long as possible. He can clearly afford it though, just look at all the gear he constantly has.
#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne x y/n#bruce wayne headcanons#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd headcanons#dc x reader#dc#dc x you#dc comics headcanons#dc comics#jason todd hc
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WHAT IF NEUVILLETTE WAS YOUR SUGAR DADDY
(This may be a bit ooc but hear me out)
Like let's say you came from a poor family but you wanted to go to a prestigious school in Fontaine but no matter how many jobs you took or how many hours you spent, you still could not afford the tuition. As the only daughter and the only child, you had to think of something fast. While randomly walking the streets of Fontaine, Monsieur Neuvillette hears your pleas. He proposes to be your "sponsor" or as you yourself call it a...sugar daddy. Of course, this alliance stays a secret between the both of you. The people of Fontaine are noisy after all.....
akdhsgsjsjshsgsh 🙈 i can’t this is so adorable <33
neuvillette definitely sounds like someone who’d do that. as someone who seldom goes out; there are a few cafes he visits from time to time & has always seen you work your ass off. why wouldn’t he help you one day when he caught you sighing, upset & just terribly disarrayed at the outputs of your efforts. you needed money & you needed to study well. <3 neuv will gently approach you, “excuse me, miss…” he would take this topic out with an extremely formal manner and you’d feel as if you’re on cloud 9 because of it. “i urge you not to let this spread out, people in fontaine are…”
“yes, i’ll not.”
over the course of time when neuvillette sees you excel in what you’re doing, and you meet up with him for lunches and stuff. trying your best to compensate over his finances by at least — looking pretty.
you’d often travel to meet the chief justice after that one incident where he helped you and took care of you when you caught a fever. Your rabid pantings and your high temperature bothered him so much. It was a sight to behold to see the chief justice of fontaine so enamored by you; enough to take a break from his work and tend to his sugar baby. The meetings are mostly around his home or yours since you both can’t let the people of fontaine find out about this.
things eventually turn into a full blown reward system wherein is his sugar baby’s been good, neuvillette is going to spoil you oh so well !! He’s going to ensure you have everything, things taking a turn from the education to the spoiling point of view.
Sexual thingys are just favors you want instead of him lmfaosjshsjsh i mean have you looked at him? @-@ but he’d be more than happy to indulge with you xoxoxo
#neuvillette#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette fluff#neuvillette imagines#neuvillette hcs#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin fluff#genshin hcs#genshin x you
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God, I'm not your strongest soldier
୨୧‥∵‥‥∵‥‥∵ ‥‥ 🐈⬛ ‥‥∵‥‥∵‥‥∵‥୨୧
Summary: Running away from the past is already challenging, and now the girl I never thought would acknowledge me has something against me and wants me to work for her. It could have been worse, but at least I'll get paid... but at what cost? Let's see how working for Aeri will turn out for the better or the worse. Hell, maybe even both. Pairing: Aeri (Giselle) x Fem! Reader Featuring: Yeonjun (TXT) and Woo Young (Ateez) Warning: Brief self-harm mention, Blackmail, Cursing A/N: Hello everyone :3!!! I finally finished writing and making this story and currently working on the next chapter (if this story turns out well ^^; ) thank you very much for your patience and I hope you enjoy this upcoming series. I was very inspired by @rosemaeridream story "Hate is no better than Love" (which I very much recommend and send love to the author) This is my first ever time writing fanfic, and would love to receive some feedback and criticism would be nice to make the storyline more smoother and enjoyable to read :D. Thank you again and hope you like this! Credits: dividers by @dollywons
I have always struggled to find a career path since I was young. Nothing has interested me, no matter how hard I try. I have hobbies, don't get me wrong but I never really saw them as career paths, even if I did my passion would be shut down by my parents saying “That's not a career (Y/N) that's just a little hobby, you should be earning money from it.” But what if I did see them as a career? Imagine opening my gallery, selling my artwork, and making a name for myself in the art world.
But as if right now I’m sitting in my finance lecture trying my best not to have a complete mental breakdown. Seriously, why did I sign up for this? I'd honestly rather marry an eighty-year-old dude who's guaranteed to cheat on me with younger women than endure this professor’s constant coffee slurping and forgetfulness. And wouldn't you know it, my earbuds decided to die on me. As I glanced around the room, I couldn’t help but observe my classmates – someone was playing Papa's Freezeria, a diligent note-taker, and Aeri who made eye contact with me... Wait what. I must be seeing things because I couldn’t possibly get her attention on me, like what did I do? She looked up and down at me then turned around and went back talking to her friends. Weird.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how Aeri. Uchinaga Aeri made eye contact with me? Aeri was a very….interesting person the nicest way I could describe her. She was very cocky, arrogant, and from what I heard also toxic. She leads on girls thinking they could have a chance with her, only to find out she just wanted to get something out of them and then break their hearts in the cruelest way possible or how boys fond over her to the point that they carve her name on their thigh or even worse commit suicide. It's no wonder she's got such a big ego. I mean, who wouldn't, with all the boys and girls falling over themselves to impress her, copy her, and just generally bask in her glory? She's practically a campus legend. And let's not forget her family's "old money" background – her great-great-great grandfather's company has been keeping her in the lap of luxury for generations.
But why was she staring at me? I never really cross paths with her unless it’s some snarky comments about my presentation whenever I present or how I was always not paying attention in class
“And that’s it for today's class, please make sure to submit your spreadsheet project by the end of the day which is due at midnight, and don't you dare email me over the weekend saying you lost progress on it or experiencing technical issues while submitting it. Have a good day” as the professor leaves the classroom. “Well shit,” I thought I haven't even touched the project yet here I was daydreaming about Aeri the entire class period.
No. No, I wasn’t. I was just caught off guard that's all, I would never think about her like that. She barely even knows I exist and it's going to stay like that.
It was now 9:00 PM, and I found myself in the library, attempting to break free from procrastination. Even glancing at the graph is causing me a headache. I took another sip of my third energy drink can and attempted to input the numbers from the graph when my computer suddenly slammed shut, nearly crushing my fingers.
“What the hell? What is your prob-” My mouth stopped as soon as I saw the person who was standing in front of me. Aeri.
“Um hi A-”
“You’re (Y/n) (L/n)?” she said cutting me off mid-sentence
“Yeah? I’m in your finance class…” I looked up at her, catching me by surprise at how she knew my name.
"I have a proposition for you," she said. "I'm looking for a photographer to take my modeling photos. And I stumbled upon your page and I have to say, your pictures are... decent."
She didn't even bother to make eye contact with me while speaking to me. It seemed like it was a struggle for her to compliment my work.
I rolled my eyes at her. "Well, Aeri, I'd love to work for you, but only if money is involved," I replied with a straight face. "Wow, aren't you greedy?" she scoffed in amazement that I had the nerve to ask for payment. "You get to work for me and all you care about is how much I'll pay you?"
“My time and work aren't for free and even if I were with the most famous person I would still charge them, I have a student debt to pay off not to mention my rent. And besides you come from a wealthy family how come you can’t find a professional photographer to take your pictures?”
“It's just” She pauses for a moment as if she is going to say something she shouldn't say “My family can’t know about this and that is all I’m going to say to you because it's none of your business” she smiled at me as she said that almost feeling like I was being threatened
"Even if I had a private photographer, there's a good chance they would try to expose me to get more money from my family," she said, almost mumbling that last part. She got up from her chair and came over to my side. As if the atmosphere just changed out of nowhere, why am I so tense? It's like the Grim Reaper is about to take my life away from me any second now. As she leaned on the edge of the table, making eye contact with me, she continued, "Besides you really can’t say no to me either way”
“What can you have that I can’t say-”
Then the room went silent when she pulled up a video. The video I’ve tried to run away from. The video I tried to avoid. The video that Aeri is holding that ruined my life in high school to the point I moved states away from home when I was applying to college.
Was it expensive to the point my parents wouldn’t financially support me? Yes. All because of a video. Pretty much. But yet here I am seeing how Aeri using this video against me. I just wanted to run away from it like how I’ve been doing for the longest time.
“Aeri,” I said with a stern voice, not trying to get my anxiety the best of me “Where the hell did you get that video from”
“Oh this” she held her phone up and smiled at me “I have some connections but that’s not important right now because now I have you in a position where you really can’t say no to me” She had a huge grin on her face that I just wanted to slap it off.
Red. I saw red at that moment. Why? Just why? Why is this happening to me now? Who the hell does she think she is? I thought I could simply just run away from it and be done with it but I guess not. I just wanted to leave and run far away from this world but felt stuck in my mind and couldn't even leave the chair as if someone put glue on it. When I looked up from Aeri, she was standing there, looking down on me like I was prey to her.
“Fine” is all I could say to her, not after the stunt she pulled out on me. I felt tired from that moment and all I wanted to do was just go to my apartment, lay in bed, and never wake up but unfortunately, not everyone can have that.
"Glad we agreed then," she said as she grabbed her stuff. Before she turned to leave, she added, "Oh, and one more thing” She handed me a sticky note with her number on it. "Text me if you have any questions or something, but don't text me too much. Otherwise, we'll only communicate by email, okay? Bye," she said then walked out of the library as if she hadn't just blackmailed me.
Fucking great just great (y/n) now look at what you got yourself into now. Not only you're going to be working for her and she has shit on you as well. Wow, I got the best of both worlds, didn't I?
The train ride was very silent on my way to my apartment, my leg kept bouncing up and down as I stared out the window with headphones on that I always kept a spare but even so the music couldn’t even calm my thoughts down.
ding
The announcement came on telling passengers of the next stop and to be ready to depart. I grabbed my stuff and stood in front of the door. I kept looking at myself in my reflection. And all I saw was a sixteen-year-old me looking distraught and disappointed. If only I could've hugged her and told her everything would be alright. But even she knows I'm lying to myself.
As I finally arrived at my apartment door where I already heard two of my roommates being very loud and obnoxious (as usual). I opened the door where I saw Woo Young and Yeonjun playing video games and being extremely competitive with each other in the living room.
As I step inside, I drop my keys in the bowl and slip off my shoes, tucking them away in the cubby before slipping into my house slippers.
"Guys, don't start roughhousing because I don't want to spend a month without a TV like last time," I yelled as I was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat, even though I had lost my appetite after that whole day. I simply grabbed a yogurt and headed to the living room to grab my bag.
“Jeez you look like shit” claimed Woo-young as he kept looking at me and then back at the screen. “Thanks” I replied as I was walking towards my room.
“Hard day in class?” yeonjun asked without taking his eyes off the TV, getting more aggressive with the controller
“Trust me that wasn’t even half of what happened today but I would appreciate it if you guys keep it down please I just want to sleep and hope this entire day was just a dream,” I said, knowing I got weird looks from them but turned down the volume a bit.
As I finally changed into my pajamas, I settled into bed and stared at the ceiling, recapturing what the fuck just happened today. I was simply minding my own business finishing my project, which I didn’t even get to finish but at this point why does it matter I just got blackmailed by the most popular girl on this campus, and worse I have to fucking work for her now. Memories of our brief encounter at the library began flashing through my mind.
My mind lingers to slumber as I try to hide away from these bad thoughts and sleep where I'm not running away from everyone and everything.
I promised her that.
#lesbianism#wlw#sapphic#giselle x reader#giselle#aespa#toxic love#toxic people#enemies to lovers#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#slow burn#aeri uchinaga#⭑.ᐟ kira written#≽^•⩊•^≼#🧸 homo
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Once in a blue moon: blessings coming your way + compliments!
hi everyone!! in honour of the upcoming blue moon in pisces, i have prepared a PAC on the blessings coming your way this blue moon, together with some compliments from my tarot deck. i hope this reading resonates and thank you for your support!!
pick a pile from down below (1-4, from top to bottom, and left to right)
✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊
readings begin below this line
✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊
pile one:
hi pile one!! here’s your reading for this blue moon:
blessings this blue moon: there’s definitely a change coming in this full moon. you may have prominent pisces/12th house placements, as that’s the sign the full moon is happening in this month. i think your blessings may come to you in the form of your intuition. does that make sense? i have a feeling that the blessings that you’re getting this full moon may have something to do with the information you receive through your intuition. i’m also hearing that you may have to travel to places and that this travel may bring you money? (i thought this would be short term travel but then the song, “overseas” started playing so that might be a sign too. take it as a sign if it resonates.) at the very least, positive changes may come through regarding your finances. (note: this may not necessarily mean that you will be getting money, it could also mean that you learn something that may bring you more money/help you manage your finances better)
compliments from the deck: hm… i feel as though you’ve recently been through a tower moment involving certain people in your life. this could be friends, partners, family members too. whatever it is, the deck wants you to know that you did a really good job handling the issue in a peaceful and diplomatic manner. i do see that some kind of conflict may have been present in this situation and that it may have led you to defend someone/led someone to defend you. you handled things in a manner that was diplomatic and fair, taking into account the emotions of the different parties before making any decisions involving everyone. whatever the case may be, balance is definitely being restored to these connections and justice is being restored, and moving forward, there will be many more opportunities for much more harmonious and balanced connections to enter your life, if you allow it to.
thank you for reading, pile one!! i hope you enjoyed your reading and i’ll see you again next time!
✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊
pile two:
hi pile two!! welcome to your reading for this blue moon:
blessings this blue moon: have you been dealing with some brain fog recently? if you have, i see that going away around this full moon. your situational awareness or ability to perceive the things around you may be sharpened and heightened. i feel like you may be in the process of learning; i’m not sure if this is a pile chosen by lots of students or if you’re just picking up a new skill this month, but that is what i’m getting for you. if you are in school and have just taken some exams or are preparing to do so soon, i see that you may emerge victorious— whatever that means to you. however, a word of advice; do not procrastinate. it’s best to do things now and settle issues while it’s still manageable, rather than delaying it and letting it rot into a bigger mess. you may also be under the spotlight soon, this could be in the form or popularity, or praise, but i do see that there will be recognition for your efforts and strengths this full moon. good job, pile two!
compliments from the deck: the deck really admires your ability to balance your energy well. your go-getter, fiery, and action-oriented nature is well balanced with your emotional, and peaceful side. i think you’re very good at going after what you want, and then remembering to set some time aside to heal and recharge through self-care later on. you’re also very strategic with where you spend your energy, and i do see that being one of your greatest strengths. also, i’m not sure if this resonates, but if you are currently in a relationship/ talking stage/ situationship, the deck seems to be praising you for it…? in a playful manner, almost. i see that this might be because you made the first move and you seem to have flustered the other person a little. it’s cute, i hope it works out well for the both of you!
note: you might have been feeling dissatisfied recently, mourning the loss of something or the lack of something. the deck is telling you to look at things from a different perspective. try a different approach. reflect on how far you’ve come or help out someone who may be stuck in a similar position you were in previously.
thank you pile two!! i hope you have a lovely week ahead and i’ll see you again soon!!
✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊
pile three:
hi pile three, welcome back! here’s your reading for the upcoming blue moon:
blessings this blue moon: you may have recently dealt with some kind of heartbreak in which you were treated unfairly by a certain group of people. i see you finally gaining the strength to fight back and stand up for yourself. this full moon, you may be releasing a lot of blockages and negative energy. this could be done emotionally, but i feel like your method of releasing this stagnant and negative energy may be done more physically, as in; cutting your hair, clearing up certain places in your home, burning something (?). i see you getting a chance to kind of “reinvent” yourself. you’re learning to leave behind things that no longer serve you, as difficult as it may be. you may feel as though you’ve been reborn after this, and this will definitely be a win in your book. i’m wishing you all the best with your growth!!
compliments from the deck: pile three, you’re good at making feel at home and safe. you make people feel warm inside and welcome, and i’m hearing that hanging out with you makes people feel as though they’re at some sort of a family celebration? you’re good at building a home (physically, emotionally) for people, and i feel like that’s a very valuable trait of yours. you may also be introverts and i think the releasing you’re doing this full moon may bring you some discomfort because of your possible need to withdraw into yourself. but this is necessary, pile three, and i believe that you have the strength to go through this in order to better yourself and grow. i’m also seeing this talent for managing finances and being practical with your belongings. i don’t think this is a strength you consciously use as much, it’s just a skill that comes naturally to you.
pile three, i wish you all the best with your growth and i’ll see you again soon!
✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊
pile four:
hi pile four!! here’s your reading for the upcoming blue moon:
blessings this blue moon: pile four, you are definitely being blessed this full moon. i feel there are certain changes that will be happening in your life but nothing major, just some endings and new beginnings in your life, things that i feel won’t shake up your stability too much. you’ve either prepared yourself for these changes or it’s just a cyclical change that’s happening here. i actually see a really positive home environment, and even the possibility of some romance in your life. if not romance, then just really balanced and harmonious relationships with your loved ones. you may feel really grateful for what you have during this time, and you’re really just so satisfied and happy with your life around this time. this might require a bit of a tw but if you guys have ever been a through a period of your life where you just weren’t in the most positive frame of mind or you were in a difficult mental state, i see that this upcoming time period may be a time where you kind of experience this moment of peace and tranquillity with where you are right now, and remain grateful that you chose to continue pushing forward in life.
compliments from the deck: the deck is proud of you and your ability to handle difficult changes with grace. i feel like you may have gone through many things in life that have taught you how to be okay with changes, no matter how sudden or heavy. you have learnt to find peace within yourself or through yourself, and i feel like you have also learnt to help others as well. you are a generous soul that is so open to helping others out because you might have experienced things that taught you to have kindness and compassion towards people, including strangers and those who may even be mean/harsh on you. i love your energy pile four, and i’m happy that will be experiencing such happy events in the upcoming days.
i hope this resonated and i’ll see you again soon!!
✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊
thank you guys for reading!! please leave a like or reblog this post if it resonated with you and i’ll see you all again very soon!!
✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊
#intuitive tarot reading#tarot#pac tarot#free tarot readings#free tarot#pick a pile#pick a card#pick a image#pick an image#general tarot reading#full moon#tarot readings#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot reader
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Trauma Dump Hours
Apologizing in advance. This is gonna be HEAVY FEELS. I just...need somewhere to put all of my thoughts down so feel free to scroll past this.
**This is HEAVY mental and emotional trauma with mentions of abortion within so please be mindful of the content below the cut**
I have made mentions of my parents before, but never really went into too much detail about my relationship with them because of everything else going on. But, in light of some things that have happened recently, I need to just get these thoughts out in some sort of order...which might not happen but here we are. So my relationship with my parents has been interesting to say the very least. i was raised in a very conservative catholic home. Silent gen dad, and a boomer mom. both very intolerant of anything they don't agree with. My dad is the epitome of hating everything that doesn't align with his beliefs...If you aren't white or straight especially, and do not live the traditional lifestyle that he feels one should abide by. (hopefully that paints a picture for you).
Anyway, I am the baby of my family. My brother is 50 and my sister is 49 (they are a year and 4 days apart). I arrived 12 years later. I was very well and truly an OOPS. My brother is the golden child, my sister, the problem child (former, anyway, but she was definitely more wild than they liked,) and I...well, I had to be the perfect one to do as my parents wanted 100% of the time.
my mom had no self-esteem and raised me to be the same way. never be too confident and sure of myself b/c it was unbecoming to do so. I had to always get good grades, and always follow the rules. If I ever did something wrong, i got the wrath of my father (that stern, military rage). So, as i got older, my mom would hide things from him on my behalf, but only if I did something for her. Things like keeping secrets from dad, hiding mail so she didn't get in trouble with the finances again. If i ever dared to stop doing that shit for her she would blackmail me...would threaten to tell my dad all the shit i did wrong if I stopped helping her. Basically, I was scared and brainwashed into having ZERO autonomy or individuality. If I showed any emotion other than happiness I always had "an attitude." But, I saw my mom's behavior as if she was the only one in my corner...my buddy who kept my secrets for me because no one else would.
I struggled in school, but almost always got As and Bs. I had to work my ass off for it too. Math was always a sore subject that made me and dad lock horns. He's a math wiz, and I'm not. I'm not well read because I HATE reading books. (thanks school for ruining that for me). history? forget it. i have a horrible memory. But, if i ever got a C? holy shit i was a failure in their eyes. I feel like I am so far behind everyone intellectually that it's hard for me to have conversations with people sometimes because I feel like I can't keep up. By the time I got to high school was when I finally started to see what they were doing to me, but I was too afraid to break free. Honestly? i didn't know I had a choice in the matter. When I was in college, I had to be in remedial math. When my dad found out (b/c he was paying for college,) he literally screamed at me in the financial aid office b/c he couldn't believe I was in such a low math class. His apology? "I just worry about you, and i want you to do well." What a fucking joke. Again, in college, I was big into choir. we had a huge spring performance that we NAILED and we wanted to celebrate. So, we carpooled and went to a nearby club. I was barely 20 so i had the wristbands of course. I CALLED my mom to ask if i could go. Told her who i would be with, where i was gonna be, and that it would be WAYYYY late before I get home. Said I would keep my phone in the car b/c I knew i wouldn't hear it or feel it vibrate, but i could call her when I leave even if it was like 3 am. She said no need, and let me go.
So, in I walk at 330 am to both my parents in the living room, and my dad SCREAMING at me that I am just like my sister. out partying at all hours doing "god knows what." I was dumbfounded. My mom didn't even look at me...just sat there as I got ripped into. Wanna know why that happened?? Because SHE PRETENDED SHE NEVER GAVE HER PERMISSION. She told me later that her and dad had to have a "united front" and I had "no right to be mad" at her. When I tell you I leveled my room into an absolute mess that night and cried myself to sleep. the betrayal I felt...as a 20 yr old, a legal fucking adult, and I had no voice. no independence. My relationship with them has gone south ever since.
Of course, several things have happened between now and then. Their relationship is very transactional, and always comes out with me needing to serve THEM for them to be happy. for them to see me as worthy. But, my mom likes to throw it in my face whenever she can about how great my brother is. How stable he is. that bitch is single and has no kids. fuck him. he's an incel anyway.
Mother's day this year was the last straw for me. I called my mom out of obligation. in that 15 minutes she gushed about my brother's financial stability knowing how hard i have been struggling since I left my husband. I told her how proud I was of myself, that I was doing all these things with very little help, and making so much progress in such a short time. her response? As deadpan as possible "Congratulations. You're finally adulting." Finally? FINALLY? Not like I had been trying FOR YEARS when my irresponsible idiot of a husband was the one who had the control. I left my childhood home and walked into another relationship with a person who was just like my parents. A transactional, mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. I was his shadow because i felt like i HAD to be. When he wanted to leave me in 2021 for that very reason i thought i would literally die. That's when I found my spiritual practice. when i started to really change and try to find myself. and yet, he STILL didn't like who I was. Hence, why i finally found the strength in me to leave him back in December. I got no support from my parents. They wanted me to move in with them....ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY EX...just so i could be close to my children. I'm only 15 mins away from them. I see them when I can with the 2 jobs I work for shit pay. I'm busting my ass to pay off my car. Have they ever called in the 6 months I have been gone to ask me how I am??? If I need help?? NO. And why would they?? Between my mom and dad both, I was told on three separate occasions that they wanted to abort me. But I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT THEY DIDN'T. Why would I? I have lived my life feeling like I was never good enough, that i was a worthless burden to the world. All because i was conditioned to believe as such. Thankfully for my sister, she saw through their shit a long time ago, and left home when she turned 18. i wish I understood why back then...but I was a kid. All i knew was how hurt my parents were, or how they seemed to be, and I believed that if I did anything to hurt them i was a bad person. I couldn't be like my sister. because that was a bad thing. But...nothing makes you feel more unloved and unwanted than your parents telling you they didn't want you. Then act surprised when you block them and don't want to speak to them. I can't go thru 38 years worth of shit they did, but this was some of the bigger/more recent stuff. It's amazing i never blocked them sooner (though, being across the street from them at the time was certainly a factor...)
It's why my identity means so fucking much to me. i felt like my name is not my own, my existence isn't my own. Why I want all the labels that I feel make up who I am so i can have some fucking semblance of understanding about what makes me "me."
Aside from spanking as a kid (which was normal back then sadly,) i was never physically abused. i had a roof over my head, I had food when i needed it, I was clean, had nice (not name brand) clothes...all the necessities, but I never *ever* had a healthy grasp on my mental health. never had healthy coping mechanisms for my emotions, and I never felt truly loved by my parents. better seen than heard, and if i was seen it was always to do something that made my parents proud so they could brag about me. I was a trophy. A puppet.
And today, as i sit here, wondering how tf to deal with my parents...I am anxious and scared. i feel like a child all over again, trembling like I am about to be scolded. All because i was conditioned to believe that my feelings were worthless and wrong. I have gotten 2 voicemails today from my dad, telling me I "need" to call them. To explain what's going on. Suddenly, they are worried. Suddenly, they care. But I know it's only for their satisfaction. part of me wants to pour my soul out and light it on fire so they can see how much they hurt me over the years. Part of me wants to pretend they are dead and forget they exist. I am not sure what to do.
So, if anyone ever wonders why Gale means so much to me...why i have such a mental and emotional attachment to his character. this is why. because aside from my 2 bffs, he was the only other entity that made me feel loved and worthy, and it breaks my heart that he isn't real. For now, though, he's a beautiful escape.
idk if I need anything rn...I'm not sure where to go from here. I have no idea what will make me feel better. getting some of it out helps. Being in therapy definitely helps. If you read this then you're a damn trooper...or a glutton for punishment, idk. Either way, thank you for listening to me.
I really don't expect anyone to say anything or even read this. It really isn't necessary. But please know that for the many of you whom I have befriend on here since I joined tumblr...I am grateful for you all. Just being in this space has been so healing for me. thank you.
#mira maunders#mira rants#txt: personal#cw: mental health#cw: mental abuse#cw: emotional abuse#cw: mention of abortion#parent trauma#my stomach is in knots rn#i'm sorry for any missed tags#idk what else to mark this with#childhood trauma#trauma dump
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SECOND ASK HELLO!!!!
IVAN AND TILL TIME (will get to the other characters separately)
soo!!! for ivan and till i'm still debating whether they should be what most closely mirrors their alnst counterparts (idols/musicians/actors) or something that kinda just has the overall vibe
One of the reasons i'm more inclined to go with ivan being an idol and till being an independent musician is that for till (ivan i can see doing something else), till's character is really tied to his music and i think it would be weird to separate him from that if that makes sense. So i'm going with that for now :D So everyone else will probably be idol/music industry related so they know each other
BEFORE THE TRAIN (basically just a modern au)
Note: Anakt garden here would probably be an idol/acting training program or something
IVAN:
- Was raised from childhood to become an idol, has had very little control of his life
- faces constant pressure to preform well and keep a good brand image
- Every aspect of his life is monitored by someone else from his diet, hobbies, relationships (not that he has any skjdjf), etc
- (he's an almost perfect mirror of his alnst self)
- Due to the heavy restrictions in behavior, ability to peruse passions, and being isolated from a normal childhood, till caught his eye for that reason
- He envies till's freedom in being an independent artist, having split off from contractors/labels to persue his own music (and his ability to make his own decisions, live his life without the huge pressure etc)
- The intense competitive nature of his career is something so ingrained in his life that he finds it hard to imagine a simple domestic lifestyle
- His manager is Unsha of course
- basically, i barely changed him
- BOY'S GOT PROBLEMS
TILL:
- Was initially part of a music group signed to a music label after anakt garden
- Has a background in acting
- Broke away from the group to create his own music
- He has a decent sized cult following online, though his popularity is nowhere near ivan's
- He still faces mistreatment from other higher-ups in the industry and is looked down on for his choices
- Usually, this is from former friends & managers (HI URAK)
- He admires Mizi (pop singer? maybe?) for her carefree and genuine persona
- i may still change some things about him
ALSO mizi sua ivan and till are friends here and stuff. They see each other outside work and things
ALTERNATIVES:
- Ivan: business/finance, faces pressure to inherit a family business
- Till: still acting/music, but not independent and mistreated by urak
- Other ideas?
BOARDING THE TRAIN
IVAN:
- TILL'S ON THE TRAIN UH OH,, NATURALLY IVAN FOLLOWS
- His number is pretty high. either 500 or like 1000 idk what's considered high i forgot
- His number remains pretty consistent
TILL
- I'm thinking mizi disappeared and this upset him enough the train appeared
- "WHY CAN'T I FIND HER" oh sorry till here you go she's right here
- His number is probably similar to ivan, give or take a few numbers only
- His number constantly goes up and down
OKAY I NEED HELP FOR THIS PART WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY'RE ACTUALLY ON THE TRAIN
HELLO!!!!
(long infinity train au post incoming!)
I 100% agree on the first part!! I've had those thoughts when thinking up my College/Modern AU, the question of "if these characters weren't forced into it, would they still choose to pursue music?" and although my answers for certain characters fluctuated, Till was consistent in the way that the answer was always yes for him. He is a goddamn prodigy, after all, and literally makes music of his own volition (which doesn't seem very common in the garden, at least to the extent and frequency that Till does it). Though he was forced into it as well, Till views music as an outlet rather than a responsibility.
Ivan, I think he'd definitely be under a company or management. Though I feel like if he wasn't forced to sing in this universe, another route for him could be his (very successful) modelling career. It seems to be his main "thing" besides singing, after all, and he rose to fame because of it. I also think the finance/business stuff might translate better into the modelling thing since he deals with commercials and brand deals, ambassador stuff (not to say this can't happen with idols, it'd just be emphasized if he was a model I think. The idol idea is still perfectly fine! It'd also make more sense for Ivan and Till to meet/grow close if they were from the same company, though I was also still fond of the childhood friends idea.... I realize it might be hard to pull that off in a modern au if Unsha and Urak are still rivals).
Ivan boarding because Till boarded first is so Min and Ryan 😭 insert that one meme "I'd follow him to hell and back but I just wish he'd stop going there" (it could be argued that Min was just trying to get his keys back, but. come on. we all know it wasn't just about the keys).
Till boarding because Mizi went missing is so unfortunately plausible 😭 it's literally the love conga line all over again. Mizi boards because of Sua, Till boards because of Mizi and Ivan boards because of Till. Insanity.
Though depending on the reason for their boarding, it could go a lot of different ways. Would they have some kind of meteor scene parallel where Ivan tries to take Till away from the train, Till gives him a sorry look before running in, Ivan pulls that sad smile and then runs in right after him? Would the train appear during a fight? Would they board separately? I feel like boarding together was a rare instance for Min and Ryan (at the time) because their issues were largely centered around each other (and their circumstances of course. but the point is they had to figure themselves out together). So for Ivan and Till to board the train together, they must've had a very prominent issue within their relationship that they need to confront (which is already true, very complicated issues in fact so no worries about that part). Though I'd love to hear your thoughts on how their issues and relationship complexities translate to this more modern au!
500-1000 is an insanely high number 😭 I mean at least it's not as bad as Grace and Simon, but I'm fully convinced that Ivan and Till could come close that point at least once 😭 (or just the ALNSTverse versions of them maybe). Maybe they'd be around (and I apologize for always bringing them up) Min and Ryan's 202. It's relatively high to Jesse's 20-something and Tulip's 30-something (I can't remember atm my bad).
Ohhh wait sorry I'm answering this ask in portions and I just realized you said they had different numbers. Does this mean you had them board the train at separate times?
I love the detail of their numbers going down in different ways! I could definitely see Ivan's staying more consistent and harder to budge because (as VIVINOS says) Ivan is incredibly persistent. Or stubborn. This can be seen in his mindset too, where he's firmly convinced he isn't cared for despite their childhood comics proving that he and Till were basically friends. I feel like Ivan is the type who's number doesn't change very often, but when it does it goes down by a large amount.
Till, on the other hand, with all his severe reactions seems like his number would fluctuate quite a lot. Just like how his collar switches between colors fairly quick. It would definitely go up and down a lot 😭 smaller amounts than Ivan's, I think.
Though I can see the situation reversing (Ivan's number constantly fluctuating as a reflection of his muddled and confusing thoughts, Till's number being more constant because he's more firm in his self identity), I still think the ones mentioned above fit just the slightest bit better.
WHAT DO THEY DO... HMMM... It really depends on the reason they're on the train in the first place. And that reason depends on the severity of their issues in this modern au. Do they board for their own personal reasons that aren't as intertwined with each other? Are their attachment methods still as unhealthy as they were in the ALNSTverse? Or are they slightly more mellowed and better adjusted in a more "normal" society? would Ivan still be unhealthily fascinated and devoted to Till? Would Till still feel conflicted about Ivan? Would they be more focused on their own individual issues and less on each other or vice versa? Naturally both can be the case but one usually wins over a certain amount. There's a lot to think about!
A lot of the train cars force the passenger to deal with their issues in somewhat literal ways (like how min and ryan are usually forced to work together, tulip is forced to sing a song she is emotionally attached to, actually hey wait fuck that's a good one?) Would there be a train car where Till has to recognize Ivan's feelings head on (Finally looking at him)? Would there be a car that would take their deepest inner thoughts and manifest them into physical, tangible beings or objects? Many possibilities! I'd love to hear more of your thoughts and ideas!
( + @chiisana-lion !! I'd also love to hear any thoughts you might have on an ALNST infinity train au !! If you have any !! let's share these brainwaves together !! )
#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS#IM SO HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT INFINITY TRAIN !!!#alnst#alien stage#alien stage au#alien stage infinity train au#alnst au#alnst infinity train au#asks#long posts
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Hello hello! I’ve read your Mordecai posts and THEY’RE SO GOOD!!! I was really wondering if you could please write for Sedgewick! I’ve taken an interest in him since I’ve started reading the Lackadaisy comics more. Maybe the reader is like his secretary or an assistant? Sorry if that’s not much information you can go off of but I really like what you’ve come up with so you can do what you want with it! Anyway, take care and thank you!!!
🏔🪨 been thinking abt Wick ..... had some ideas with this one..... lots of masc+femme options plus overall GN ones. Note this is romantic HCs!
So, how you work alongside Wick depends on your gender due to the times. For a lady, you're an additional secretary who specializes in finance or social engagements. For a lad, you're a consultant in his company for anything from finance to local geology. He took a liking to you right away, both for your personality and looks (though the latter he keeps to himself). If you'd rather not be a subordinate, you can still be a third party consultant or planner of some kind.
You start to realize how much he overworks himself, and perhaps you're just as bad! Before long you're keeping long hours with him in the office, or having to stop by his manor to catch up with some big project. On one hand, he hates keeping you so much, on the other, well. It is nice to have you around so often, and you really help him out when he's frazzled.
It flusters him more and more when you lean over his desk to point something out, or bend over across the room to pick something up. He feels pretty awful about that last one; once Lacy caught him and snapped her fingers loudly in front of him to get his attention.
Because you two work so much together, you get plenty of opportunities to talk - especially when he wants to avoid certain paperwork. He loves listening to you rant about this client, just as he loves going off on his own tangent about that investor. You both start to give nicknames to the difficult ones. Then he listens to you talk about your plans when you're off work, what your family is like, your interests. He could just listen to you talk all day ... many times Lacy has come in to drop off paperwork and you two are still talking, and her boss looks totally starry-eyed.
(I mean he often looks at you like you hang the moon, sooo...)
Wick really wants to invite you out, like. Badly. He hates being cooped up with work, he prefers socializing face to face out in the world. But ... is that appropriate? If you're femme and work for him, this especially bothers him. He ought to make it clear it's strictly platonic, but, uh. It isn't. If you're masc, it's easier to invite you to a simple outing, but ... there's the whole definiately-not-platonic feelings --
(Yeah, a cute guy brings up a loooot of feelings Wick's repressed since boarding school. Oops.)
He settles for lunches because those seem the most innocuous. You start to wonder what his thing about afternoon sandwiches and coffee is all about, considering he keeps forgetting to eat while working (and don't worry, you always bring something back for Lacy!)
When he dozes off at his desk, you like to put a coat or blanket over him ... or just gently nudge him awake and tell him to go home. Wick really prefers to drop you off if it's late, not wanting you to walk or take public transportation at such a late hour also he can show off his car a bit.
When he passes out on the desk, you'll put a blanket or his coat over him. A few times he's been half awake, and it both startles and embarrasses him. If he could, he'd blush to his ears. Wick would really prefer you didn't see that "sloppy" side of him, but come on. It's unavoidable, and he's probably done the same when you've fallen asleep in your own office chair (except he likes putting his own coat over you).
At least once or twice a month, you have to accompany him to work events and gatherings. It's important to schmooze and make connections and all that; if it's not your kind of scene, at least you get a reason to dress up and eat absurdly expensive food. You better believe Wick is looking r e s p e c t f u l l y, even if it's the dozenth event you've attended together. He likes picking you up at your place, as if this is a date and not a charity auction.
... Though, you're often mistaken for his date if you're femme. And if you're masc, sometimes he has to borrow cufflinks or gloves ... yes, he's a little more than giddy to wear your things.
Normally he's a social butterfly, but Wick finds himself frustrated when he's mid conversation with you and he has to stop to visit with some group of investors or fellow businessmen. You excuse yourself, but his eyes still follow you across the room.
While he often compliments you when it comes to him, sometimes Wick worries about it being too much. What if you take it the wrong way? How much is appropriate? While in this era a boss could get away with chasing after his subordinate all he wants, Wick shudders at the idea of you thinking of him that way. And if you're a man, he certainly worries you might think ... well, sometimes he's sure you reciprocate, but he can't just ask, so ...
It's all a jumble that falters the normally relaxed man's confidence. He tells himself he'd be content if you just wanted to be friends. He certainly wants to be friends, at least - he wants you to like him, not merely tolerate him because you're a subordinate or colleague.
On that note, you get lovely presents and generous bonuses at the appropriate times of the year. The birthday and Christmas presents are especially thoughtful and expensive - but of course, Wick doesn't think of the cost. He's totally comfortable presenting Lacy with her gift, but suddenly gets nervous about your's. Yes, he's that obvious ... You'll get flowers or expensive whiskey after closing deals, or maybe just because. Trying to convince him gifts are unnecessary is a losing battle, because as far as Wick's concerned, it's one of the safer ways to show his affection. Though, if it's the cost you're worried about, he'll bug Lacy about what's a good ""normal"" gift (because no, Wick, a $30 floral arrangement 'just because' is not normal! Nor is a $50 lunch!)
If you're femme, Lacy is losing her patience and just tells him to ask you out already. She'll bring it up with you, too - hell, she'll lock you both in a room together because all this doe-eyed mooning and pining is driving her logical brain nuts.
If you're masc, it's a little more tricky. Lacy starts to pick up on the odd vibe between you two, and how Wick seems almost ... mopey when you're away or getting friendly with some other man. She has suspicions, but she can't ask directly. So she makes sure to rearrange appointments so you two have more time together, to make sure you're seated together during dinners and events, and calls you for help, only to suddenly remember something and leave you two alone.
Generally Wick is frequently worrying about his feelings being reciprocated, though with a lady he'd be more open about it and trying to gauge if you're comfortable. Again, he'd really want to remain friends because he admires your expertise, interests and personality ☆
#i gotta do some romantic HCs for him but like! its already there in the comic#hes such a damn sweetheart wtf#and yes i will forever use mountain and rock emojis for him LMAO#wick sable x reader#sedgewick sable x reader#lackadaisy x reader
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What I learned from my first gallery exhibition
There is a lot of hard work involved.
You can't make real money selling your photos if you have to pay other people to print and mount your work. (Or at least I can't.)
*See below
I knew going in that there was going to be a lot of work involved. I have known artists over the years who tried to make a living from their art, and only a couple of those people could actually do it. No matter how hard they worked at their art job: making art, marketing the art, going to art fairs, gallery exhibitions etc, most needed "real" jobs to make ends meet.
From the beginning, I looked at this whole endeavor as a learning experience and therefore I did not expect to make a profit. Since this was my first exhibition and I was unknown, it was suggested that I keep prices "low" in order to have a better chance to sell some prints. Accordingly, the pricing ran from $25 for an 8x10" up to $150 for 20x30". At those prices I knew the only way I was going to have a chance of breaking even was to sell out, or to sell multiple copies. Well, I did sell multiple copies of a number of prints, including 5 of the big ones, but I didn't sell out. So far I've sold a total of 24 prints and it cost me about $950 to do so.
Was it worth it?
Yes, absolutely.
The gallery is attached to a not-for-profit art center that does wonderful things for the community, so the commissions they earned from the sales of my prints will be put to good use. I'm very happy to have made a contribution to their cause.
Though I'm not sure it was worth $950, the thrill of walking into the gallery and seeing 42 of my photos hanging on the walls was definitely worth something. *And now I know, that filling the gallery with 42 photos was exactly why I was never going to break even, let alone make a profit. Even Michelangelo would never have been able to fill the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with frescoes if he had to finance it all by himself, he was using the Pope's money. I on the other hand was entirely on my own. Next time I will be smarter about that.
The people who came in, many of them friends and family but some complete strangers, were all wonderful to talk to and overall I had a great experience. For those of you thinking to yourselves: What do you mean you had a great experience, the title of your blog is Photos Without People? Just because I don't like to take pictures of people doesn't mean I don't like people. (Well, actually it does, but you can't help liking people who are saying nice things about your photos ;-)
Would I do it again?
Probably.
I'm in the process of setting up shop on SquareSpace, and I plan to seek out more galleries to try. I'm also going to submit two of the in-camera double exposures that people seemed to like to a exhibition coming up in May.
I could not have done this without the help of my family and of course my friends here. Overall Tumblr is fucked up, but our little corner is is just fine.
Thank you / merći @sharonbphotos @yesyoubelonghere @lindenardenshighlights @mariophotographies @photographybyamyjennings @trishamaeva @jbearphotos for your kind comments on my previous post and for your support. Thanks also to @allthingsfern and the folks over at @photosworthseeing
Cheers
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Hi there 👋,
My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔
I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $40,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future. 🕊️🇵🇸
Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶
If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏
Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤
https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗
Hi!!
Gofundme unfortunately doesn't work for me as I'm European and something doesn't seem to work with my bank, when I tried donating to people on that site before, I am so sorry! : (
But let me at least share this, in hopes of anybody else being able to help you out, who's willing. No pressure from my end on anyone who sees this, donate if you can and want to. I also am just an intern who's pretty low on money myself as I need it still to save up for a car, my driver's license, an apartment, the train ticket to go to my college, etc. I unfortunately am not even in a good position to donate to people on a whim. I need to plan my finances, before I just give them out every month and end up being unable to afford to save up for necessities once I move out soon :(
Hopefully the tags also help! I'm still basically a Tumblr newbie and a busy artist too, but I absolutely do want to help at least by sharing this post, in hopes of anyone helping you out instead.
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