#well that was cathartic
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Just saw your sketchbook post and I am amazed at how clean it all looks O_O /pos
So I was wondering, what materials do you use for your traditional drawings (all the stuff from sketch to final piece)?
BOY AM I GLAD YOU ASKED THIS *ahem*
Behold 😌
For the sketchbook pages, I mainly stuck to these materials though ^^ these guys are my…
PRIMARY MATERIALS
The green mechanical pencil on the picture on the left has 0.7mm colored lead in it! I alternate between blue and pink colored leads depending on what fits the overall color of the piece better.
Once I finish up the sketch, I line it with the black pilot ballpoint pen! I really like the control and feel of ballpoint pens for traditional lineart, because it gives a sort of variety in pressure I can’t seem to achieve with normal fineliners. I like to switch up the colors of the lineart too sometimes, hence the pink and red ballpens.
Then once the linearts done, I color them in with the stabilo highlighters, as pictured on the right! These guys are my FAVORITES. Sometimes when I’m just freely sketching I use the grey or peach mini stabilos. Although, they do tend to be a bit runny, ‘cause they’re meant for quick highlights and not multiple strokes over an area ^^; so you do have to be careful and quick when coloring with them to get an even coat of color!
Sometimes, though, when there are other colors or textures I want in a drawing, I use my…
SECONDARY MATERIALS
Pictured above are all my alcohol based markers! The four on the left are neon sharpies for when I need that extra eyestrainy kick. The three promarkers with the pointy cap were from when I was a freshman in uni and wanted to collect a full set of alcohol markers, but these were the only colors they had in stock and the college supply store ✌️ I’ve since given up on that dream because they were really expensive ;; they’re really good for sunny grassy scenes though! The last dark blue marker was from a set of other blue markers, but the others have since dried out… I use it when I really wanna darken up a page, like for night scenes!
This is my prismacolor set! I like to pair these with the markers, going in after the initial layer of color to give a bit of variety or shine. Some examples of when I use them would be for adding blush or giving hair a glossy sheen 👍
These ones are my “fuck it” materials lmao
I use these when I really just wanna scribble something down wildly. I had these since I was in gradeschool and its quite frankly a miracle they still work? Oh, and the red and yellow twistable crayolas are missing because I vaguely remember giving them to some childhood friends for some reason 🤔
My fineliners and gellyrolls! Haven’t used these much recently tbh. I’d used them for class before, but I never really likes how flat the thickness tends to be :/ the brush tips and chisel tips are cool though. I used them for that one yellow bdubs doodle to try and see if my opinion of them has changed ^^ it hasn’t. Moving on…
Lastly, we have the special materials! The ones that don’t really go into any sets, or have nice applications. In order from left to right:
Wink of Stella - A brush pen that applies glitter through some sort of black magic. No idea how she works but I love her
Red Marvy Art Director 1400 - A red fine tip marker. Can’t go wrong with a bright red marker 👍
Golden Posca - My only posca marker. Figured if I should get one it might as well be something special.
Faber Castell Blue Highlighter - I use this alongside the stabilos. It has a really nice deep blue color ^^
And well! That should be everything! ^^ Thanks for giving me an avenue to gush about my materials lmao 🥰
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Penelope's final gambit, you will always be famous, no matter the subtext.
#poorly drawn odyssey#the odyssey#odysseus#penelope#epic the musical#Epic's version was very sweet and very well executed (and so cathartic!)#But Odyssey Penelope is *so* done with all the bullshit at this point in the story.#Credit where it is due; at this point she's been through a lot.#And to top if all off - her own son and one of the few maids on her side are buying into this (supposed) ruse.#This cannot have been the only time someone tried to pull this trick on her either.#Its the contrast between: 'Oh you're My husband?' and 'Ohh *sureeee* you're my husband. Just like the 30 other 'Odys' before you.'#The olive tree bed trick is a great gambit because it really is the final test to verify his identity.#I'm just a sucker for couples who have a secret only they know between them I suppose!#The match each other in will and wit! They will always find each other!!!#Anyways. The Odyssey is a worthwhile read and I highly recommend it. Epic is also a great musical worth checking out.
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I too think he deserves a kwagatama
#Yeah Felix! Flip them off!#I didn’t come up with this idea but I absolutely love it#i know you probably can’t contact more than one holder at a time but oh well#also i don’t dislike master fu or natalie I just think he’d be critical of them#I also took away Colt’s hat since I can’t take it seriously and gave Fu a less western/modern costume#only mayura and shadowmoth know who this strange child is but it’s still cathartic for him#I can so comic#felix fathom#felix graham de vanily#argos#dusuu#emilie agreste#natalie sancoeur#mayura#gabriel agreste#shadow moth#colt fathom#master fu#wang fu#miraculous ladybug#mlb#mlb season 5 spoilers#image description in alt#art i made
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"If I wanted to take over the station's systems and kill everybody, I'd have done it by now."
#murderbot#murderbot diaries#the murderbot diaries#murderbot fanart#martha wells#this series speaks to me in a major way#reading it is oddly cathartic to my anxious angry autistic aroace self#also idk if I need to say it but#this is not a dude#it's also not a human so it's a bit of a moot point#but I just thought I'd throw it out there#my scribbles
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Baby fanfic writer me, not understanding the concept of romance: I really love these two characters and their dynamic together, so I think I have to write them as dating.
Now fanfic writer me, aroace: fuck shipping, these bitches are together and they're best friends but it's all platonic. Reject romance, embrace complex relationships and friendly/familial love!
#ashe rambles#aroace#fanfic#writing#no hate on hardcore shippers obv#but realizing I can write people interacting however I damn well please#cathartic#aromantic#asexual#I still don't know how to tag things right
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I've been following you for years, and I love your art. Seeing you repost your older art pieces reminded me how much I loved the angry, bitter, miserable Machete art and how it resonated with me... but a part of me is also so happy to see the current art of him being happy. Cute art of him as a unicorn, or chilling in a bathtub with Vasco. Like, we're all growing and healing :')
#thank you!#he's been angry and bitter and miserable for so long it feels nice to give him an ounce of happiness for a change#some reasons to live besides spite and sense of duty#answered#anonymous#I always saw him as a character who's unsalvageable corrupted and doomed by narrative#and that the only way out of his miserable existence was a well deserved death#it sounds extremely cliche but I genuinely had no idea it would be so cathartic to view him through a lens of like#hope and healing and being worthy of love and saving despite your evident flaws and failings#unplanned redemption arc kapow#Vasco really just sauntered in and flipped the whole situation on it's head#sorry folks he has a boyfriend and gets regular pets and hugs and kisses now
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Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Blitz—
Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.
Eventually everyone goes...
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.
I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.
Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.
But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.
I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.
And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!
It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—
You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.
[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]
Stolas—
Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?
I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!
You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.
Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.
I'll save us both before we grow cold.
What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.
I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...
He deserves the choice to stay or go.
So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...
Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.
What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...
I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.
I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!
[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me��� no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss the full moon#stolitz#blitz helluva boss#helluva boss blitz#stolas helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss full moon#helluva boss meta#More or less?#image description in alt#I am sorry for inflicting pain but I simply cannot suffer alone#They both think they're being rejected when truly they're both desperate to be enough for the other#But as soon as they give the other a chance to say 'I want you too'#(Stolas with his heartfelt confession; Blitz with his 'hold on Stolas' and his 'LET'S GO!')#The other immediately goes 'oh so I was right. He really actually does not want me around. Just like I feared#And acts accordingly. Which just cements the other's belief that what's happening is just a very cruel and mocking rejection#HE'S NOT REJECTING YOU HE'S REACHING OUT SAYING 'WILL YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL' YOU IDIOT#<- me at BOTH of them#Their trauma is so well written I am in awe always and forever. Every step of the way. Their brokenness heals me.#It's going to be so cathartic when they grow to understand one another's perspective
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Some XuanXian for the soul 😌
#every so often I trawl through the xuanxian tag on ao3 to makes sure the teeny ship is still breathing#and I’m glad to see it’s still going!#made me want to doodle them a bit lol#au where they bond at gusu after a rather cathartic fistfight and a long joint punishment#and later go on to try to one up each other in competitions and recklessness and pick up lines#mdzs#xuanxian#xianxuan#wei wuxian#jin zixuan#mdzs art#my art#I’ve always envisioned JZX as the literal golden boy and his yang coloration balances well with WWX’s pale/dark yin vibe#you know how I love my yin-yang foils 😉
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hey all! i wrote a what-if character study & action fic for if king fought sanji instead of zoro during the raid on onigashima. i'd really love if you gave it a read! thanks so much!
link
playlist
happy reading!
#ouughh oh my god. i poured every scrap of my heart and soul into this#sobbed hysterically multiple times while writing it as well as when i finished because i was so damn proud#AHHHH#i know it's long as shit but please give it a read...i promise the fight scene is just a backdrop to the amazing character study#and compelling interactions between them. it is gutting and beautiful and cathartic and absolutely fucking insane#I HOPE YOU LIKE IT#many things included....#such as#zosan#king the wildfire#sanji#roronoa zoro#kaidou of the beasts#and more#so check it out please<3#one piece#rflr#oh this manga coloring is actually 4 panels slapped together and splashed with color. it took fucking forever. so. that too.#also if you saw me delete this and immediately repost it no you didn't. ao3 is being fucky with me. sorry to all my user subcribers who wil#get 2 emails to fics one of which is deleted#RIP#OKAY ENJOY
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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stylefadel is soooooo boring, idk why ppl are so into them… i think is bcs is the first jd mature series, it’s their first time watching them being this bold. but since i’m really not into their stuff, i just find kind of boring their storyline, a little rushed maybe? style is already loving fadel out of nowhere … maybe i’m being biased, i just can’t live without my precious kantbison
Anon, you have the pleasure of bearing the brunt of my anger and rambling, messy thought process. I am going to use your ask to defend ALL FOUR BOYS. Ok, yes – I know 90% of the THK watchers right now loathe KB and prefers SF instead.
Firstly, I will politely disagree with your first comment that SF is boring. THK will not be the series it is WITHOUT KBSF. The relationships between these boys in the series are so intertwine that I really don’t think the series would have been as interesting if it only involves KB or SF alone.
StyleFadel:
We can at least agree that without Kant, Style’s interactions with Fadel will have ended when Style fixed Fadel’s jeep. So, Kant’s request for Style to distract Fadel was the catalyst that jump start his courtship (stalking). But here is where I will argue (because brainless worms out there blamed the current predicament of SF by the end of EP 6 to Kant alone) – Kant knows his bestie's nature. Style is bold, brash and fearless. Even after having his suspicion of Fadel’s true colour (Style was the first one who brought up to Kant that he thought Fadel is an assassin), Style remained doggedly determine to pursue Fadel. He likes the danger and thrill (and in some way, he is similar to Bison).
So, the interactions between SF organically grew from Style persistency and his inner desire to peel (both the clothes and thoughts) of our broody, handsome assassin.
In Ep 1-3, he wants to find out what makes Fadel tick. Style enjoys their cat and mouse games. Fadel, on the other hand is intrigue by this fearless, beautiful but irritating man who keeps hitting on him. As he learns more about Fadel, Style gradually likes what he knows about Fadel - the contrast between always-in-control Fadel but liking hard rock music, for example? That must be fascinating to Style.
And so, by ep 4, when he found out about Fadel's real occupation (and really, some viewers? – you blame Kant for finally telling Style?) – he is already in too deep. Fadel did offer Style a way out (during the sauna scene after they agreed to become BFs) – Fadel said along the lines that “its ok if you want to stop now” because he can read the discomfort on Style’s face. But Style clung to him (and maybe it is out of loyalty to his friendship with Kant but I’m sure most of us here will agree that he continued with the ‘charade’ because he is attracted and likes him too).
As for Fadel, whose life has been dictated ever since he lost his parents, saddled with an adopted younger brother that he may or may not want (I have no doubt he loves Bison and really, it’s Bison+Fadel against a doggy doggy world out there). Nevertheless, he has a younger brother he basically raised and sheltered from Madam Lilly (and Keen). Before Style came crashing into his car, his life was monotonous, and his body language scream exhaustion and apathy. In fact, this is one of the many reasons WHY Bison came up with the condition to Kant that he needed to win Fadel over/get someone to date Fadel (and I will fight anyone who said this). It is because Bison can see the apathy/exhaustion in Fadel. He wants Fadel to have happiness. As much as Bison is somehow naïve, the last few episodes have shown us (or at least those WHO DID NOT SKIP KB parts – yes, I am still talking to the brainless worms out there) Bison is sharp, detailed orientated (when he wants to be) and observant. He just clocked it behind that sweet, guileless smile and innocent demure look (only Khaotung can pull this off. Again, I will fight anyone who said otherwise).
So, having a beautiful man paying attention to you must be somehow flattering (albeit with stalk-ish tendencies and crossing some boundaries – cause I still haven’t forgiven Style 100% for intruding in Fadel’s grieving group sessions). Plus, a reprieved from his colourless world.
JoongDunk has brought to life as Fadel & Style respectively. This is truly their best performance to date. I enjoyed them in Hidden Agenda although I thought the script was meh. Dunk, especially has truly grown as an actor - he was a bit stiff during Hidden Agenda. However, I was impressed with his performance as White (in Summer Nights) and his current performance as the ballsy, fearless and loyal Style. Similarly, Joong brought Fadel to life - quiet and dignified but weighed by unresolved grief.
However, I will say – I think one of the reasons why people may relate to SF more than KB is that their relationship trajectory follows a somehow classic trope – we have the meet cute (or disaster) in the form of the car accident. Followed by persistent pursuing (stalking) of a sunshine, happy-go-lucky lead against the tsundere, gruff (but with a soft, romantic heart) man. And once they are together, the soft, gooey centre of the gruff man is exposed (which never fails to melt our collective hearts) while Style patiently woos this man by giving him time and attention. Plus, when it is played by gorgeous looking men in the form of JoongDunk – well, the rest is history.
KantBison:
Now, contrast this with KB. In this, I will agree with you, KB is precious – personally, I find the development of their relationship fascinating because it is complicated. The beginning of KB's relationship is marred by deception and viewers are made to guess what is genuine and not with these 2.
I suspect most people who went it likely expects classic FK chemistry to come into play immediately. However, it is a testament to FK acting skills that we can read clearly when KB are “faking it” (or at least, people who watched KB scenes and don’t skip them).
Like episode 1 – when they were strangers who had a ONS. It’s pure lust and attraction. You can feel the palpable chemistry jumping out of screen. But by the end of the episode 1 (and followed by ep 2-3), viewers (OK, me) can see Kant was essentially faking his “love” for Bison. I have no doubt he was at least a little fond of Bison. And attracted physically to him. However, the mission takes precedence and the slip up by Kant is noticeable. First is a masterclass in speaking with his eyes (and face), and the slightest twitch of his muscles or narrowing of his eyes/raised eyebrows, and you can tell what he is trying to portray in that moment.
Basically, the whole episode 1-3 (apart from when he first noticed Bison at the bowling alley and red room scene), Kant comes off as sleazy (almost desperate) as he tries to hit on Bison (who definitely clocks on the desperation). We see this when Bison keeps putting Kant off and tests Kant’s determination to pursue him to the point Kant hastily pretends most of his enthusiasm about the BDSM thing. I suspect people who don’t vibe with KantBison probably feels the “fakeness” but can’t pinpoint on it exactly. All they know is that the KB scenes feel uncomfortable when they were meant to be that way (and why most people like SF better because their scenes are just organically more wholesome and sweeter).
However, by episode 4-5 – the cracks are starting to show. Kant caressing the trophy he won with Bison and noticing the Northern Lights photos on Bison’s wall even as he frantically tries to find evidence while Bison slumbers on. But I think it truly dawned on him that Bison is more than just a “ruthless killer” (which I suspect is how Captain Christ painted it to Kant) when Bison without hesitation helped with the whole “Babe being bullied at school” scenario. Kant noticing Bison has a soft spot for children/animals and loves drawing give dimensional to this beautiful man who finally allows Kant in his heart.
**I am also going to point out that Bison himself is exhausted and depressed. He puts up a cheery front, but he is burnout/fatigue from all the killings. The comment (in Ep 6) when he said Kant was the reason he can wake up every morning and get through the day really shows how miserable he was previously. His life was meaningless and while he has an older brother he loves, Bison and Fadel are not exactly on the same wavelength in terms of communication.
Anyway, I am digressing. By ep 5-6, we see Kant alternating feeling blissful and guilty depending on whether it’s Bison in his mind or Captain Christ reminding him what is at stake (and to the brainless worms out there – IT’S BABE, you know, his younger brother who he has been parenting since he was a teenager barely out of high school). Like any good parents out there, he puts his child first (unless we have the classic K-drama trope where evil parents are in abundance). Time after time, he chooses Babe over his heart, desire and soul. We know Kant sacrificed his future because of Babe. He became a car thief to feed Babe. He agreed to work with the devil Captain Christ because of Babe, doing the police dirty works multiple times because of the threat he can lose Babe’s custody anytime he disobeys the police.
This is where I will argue, Kant is very similar to Fadel. Just like Fadel, Kant was never given a choice. Just like Fadel, he also has a younger brother he loves and want to protect. He must become a police informant if he wants to keep Babe. He must become selfish and use dirty tricks for Babe’s sake – choosing his survival so that Babe won’t be left alone to fend for himself. And Babe knows this – hence why he never told Kant in the first place about the bullying and why he pointed out to Kant that he will soon get a scholarship for his education so that he doesn’t have to rely on Kant’s tattooing money. And why Babe is so encouraging about his relationship with Bison because he can see Kant is happier when Bison is around. Style who knows Kant the best (as his closest friend) also clocks on this – he pointed out Bison has Kant wrapped around his fingers. Style himself asked whether Kant can truly give up on Bison (ep 6).
**Isn’t it fascinating that in any other given series, police informants and police officers are considered “good” while hitmen will be labelled immediately “bad”. But with THK, Kant is the evillest one (yes, I am still bitter with the brainless worms who throw shades to Kant) for becoming a police informant to keep Babe’s custody?
Again, I am digressing. By ep 6 – Kant has developed true feelings for Bison. He tried to get out of the deal with Captain Christ. Yet again, the devil brought up Babe. And as I have mentioned before, he cannot give up Babe.
The romantic date at the bowling alley was bittersweet – again, it is testament to FK as actors that you can feel the contrast of their feelings. A hopeful, new beginning from Bison’s part but a wistful (of what this relationship could have become) plus a farewell from Kant. I bet he feels even worse when he realises Bison threw away his mission to save Babe. The argument he gave Style to “move on” from Fadel is also a reminder for himself to do the same.
But what do we see him do next? – he accompanied Style the very next day to visit the burger joint and adopt Nong Kitty, Bison’s beloved black cat into his household. If Style shows up every day to the burger joint as a coping mechanism while he hopes for Fadel to show up, we see Kant pining away and drowning his sorrow by drinking in his friend’s bar. So, when that exact moment as Bison said his name in the bar – you could see a mixture of relieve, hope, wariness and tinged with guilt.
Having said all of these, I am absolutely wrecked by the end of Ep 6. I am devastated for all 4 boys – our 2 assassin brothers who feel betrayed (and again, I am going to point out to viewers out there who are angry at Bison for “assuming” Style is in a cahoots with Kant). Why shouldn’t Bison feel that way? – all he knows is Style is Kant’s best friend who Kant asked to seduce Fadel. Nobody in the right mind will think Style said yes because he wanted Kant’s car. Bison, out of everyone has the right to feel the sadness, rage and anger towards both Kant and (by default Style). He gave his heart to Kant, vouched for him in front of Fadel and only wanted to feel love/wanted. He must also feel somehow responsible because he indirectly brought Style into Fadel’s life.
But equally, I am devastated for Kant who (out of all 4) is trapped – he is damned either way. Captain Christ is still hot on his tails and now, Bison is out for revenge. Similarly, for Style, who is truly just happy to have Fadel back in his life while Fadel currently thinks the worst of him. And oh Fadel, my heart breaks when I see his quiet, resigned look like he expected Style to betray him.
So yeah, I am currently coping by thinking about these 2 pictures (from Joong's OST - Hurt Me Please MV) because these show our weary assassins being relax, safe and comforted in the arms of their lovers (and that's how I like my four boys to be, thank you very much)
#asked#i'm rambling cause well I have 2 weeks in agony to wait until Ep 7#also because I am very very bitter about people who throw shades at all 4 boys (but esp KB)#if you don't like the show#don't watch it or at least keep your unwanted thoughts to yourself#the heart killers#kantbison#joongdunk#feel free to skip my rambling mess#I feel somehow cathartic after writing these all down#can you believe I’m more stress about THK than I was with OFTS?
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It's so weird that in angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike's blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy... but they leave out Buffy saying "I love you". It's such a blatant omission, the ONLY omission from that scene, that it feels totally deliberate and kind of dishonest. Considering a lot of the Spike and Angel moments in S5 revolve around their jealousy and rivalry towards each other, and a LOT of that is to do with Buffy like... Why would you leave it out? It's a pretty big moment for Spike's character in general.
As far as I recall they don't even mention it, they just mention the fact that Spike and Buffy have had a lot of sex compared to bangel's ONE disastrous time (that they remember) but it does kind of cheapen it for Spike. A big motivation for him not leaving LA could have been him not wanting to hold Buffy to her words, since he clearly doesn't believe that she loves him (even though she does, as per Whedon). He presumably thinks she only said that to make him feel better in his final moments, because she wouldn't have to actually follow through on her words. Which is sad. But it makes much more sense as a motivation than the weird 'it cheapens my moment of glory' excuse like since when does spike give a shit about that
#spuffy#idk missed opportunity for sure. maybe it's brought up later in the season? I can't remember rn#but they do kind of shunt spike's complexity and make his character all about angel's feelings#though don't get me wrong i LOVE their fight over the cup#i love the symbolism of spike being able to hold the cross while angel can't.#spike pointing out that he fought for his soul while angel had to be forced to change is sooooo cathartic#because that's the thing about angel is he's not inherently a good person. he has to continually fight to be better#he's the faith to spike's buffy#btvs thoughts#btvs#anyway their continued insistence that buffy and angel are soulmates that transcend any other relationships#is rly detrimental to both buffy and angel as characters imo. as well as any other relationships they might have#cordelia and spike who actually put in the work to get to know them as people are automatically relegated to second fiddle#dont get me wrong i love bangel for the angst but i dont buy that buffy will always be in love w the same guy she barely knew at age 16
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Do you think if the trolls all came back, like everything in the main comic did happen and they were alive again. Do you think Feferi would actually forgive Eridan? Or want to even be his friend after everything? I don't personally like the erisol and fefertasprite interaction…felt rushed…..so I just wanted to know your opinion if things were different! :)
Yeah, I think they would be! Feferi is one of the trolls who takes dying the least badly (relentless optimism) and Eridan does genuinely feel bad, which means a lot when it's Eridan. I think she really is genuine when she says she wants them to be friends and also that she's really not the type of person to hold a grudge, and like... death is SUPER cheap in Homestuck, it's really not the horrific, irredeemable, irreperable damage that it is IRL - and if you're talking about (Feferi) and (Eridan), then they're both dead (and irrelevent) now, so the score is kind of even.
In general, the fandom - I mean, people in general, really - tend to have difficulty divorcing themselves from other people. We tend to assume that the people and characters they like will hold similar opinions to themselves. This is how people who like Karkat and don't like Eridan can mentally gloss over or even block out their clear, close friendship, or how people who dislike Cronus can end up overlooking that Meenah actually takes his opinion seriously and unironically defends his wizard thing. Feferi really isn't mad at Eridan or upset about dying the way we probably would be, because she's friends with the horrorterrors, relentlessly cheerful, comfortable with death in general, and death is also just not really that big of a deal in this setting. "I'm really sorry about that, that was shitty of me" is honestly probably all the apology she needs, especially if they came back to life anyway.
#i dunno in general the fandom loves to blow stuff up#and make it all way way angstier than it needs to be or was even shown to be#by all accounts feferi takes dying really well#im sure shes still not STOKED to be eridan's friend again but out of all her faults#holding long unreasonable grudges isnt really one of them#(that's a kanaya thing actually)#eridan's always gonna be an annoying pest to her in large doses but i think she basically thinks of him as a friend#also eridan responds to problems overwhelmingly with Fight#so this idea that eridan will be forever mopey and angsty also doesnt ring true to his character#if anything i can see him becoming annoying again because now he won't stop fucking apologizing#like bro chill its fine already oh my god why is everyt)(ing suc)( a PRODUCTION wit)( you#because thats the last point too like#homestuck always returns to humor#hussie even says in the book commentary that homestuck is lighthearted and comedic at its core#that it keeps returning to that as a touchstone#even during its tensest moments like murderstuck theres just constant funnies and gags#so i just end up going kinda :/ when an interpretation is purely maudlin or cathartic#like its more homestuck when its funny and characters treating murder with the same gravitas as irl#not only doesnt make sense in universe where death is cheap - ESPECIALLY for trolls#but also just doesn't really feel very homestuck to me#but that is 100% personal taste so if you like that stuff by all means keep enjoying it lol#you just arent going to get uber angst from me u_u
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wanting good things to happen to a character you like in terms of catharsis or an overall more satisfying narrative is obviously normal and fine and good but some wc fans seem solely fixated on characters "getting what they deserve" to the extent where it comes across more as either them seeing the characters as real life people with feelings or them just not really liking tragedy. which is fine i guess but like i dont really get it lol
#im thinking of like. the people who REALLY want rootspring to get a new gf or for bristle to come back just for his happiness' sake#or swiftpaw lives aus that are more concerned with swiftpaw being happy than expanding and developing on his character#with a lot of the female characters i get it bc they get so mistreated and shafted by the text anyways#like yeah sparkpelt does deserve the world it would be cathartic to see the writers go out of their way to treat her nicies#but some of these characters are way more interesting without happy closure. or already get treated well. or literally exist to die
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the thing about me is that… I love seeing yuuji going through so many unimaginable horrors. I love seeing him all bloody and scarred trying to crawl his way out of them cause enduring, gritting his teeth and bearing them is what he does best. every single time he’s on the verge of giving up and succumbing to grief and despair, he just doesn’t. he’s too stubborn, too determined and too burdened with an overwhelming guilt that keeps telling him to keep going and make things right because in the end yuuji doesn't want to regret the way he lived. he wants to survive for long enough to not have regrets. it's that innate ability of his to just endure and fucking survive that makes me love him and appreciate him so damn much.
#my boy you should be dead and you know damn well you should be dead and yet you fucking REFUSE to be dead#yuuji's ability to survive is just so#special to me#I find his journey through unimaginable horrors to be incredibly cathartic <3#put him through more horrors cause I know this boy won't break.#he'll crawl his way through them and make you eat his suffering in exchange <3#itadori yuuji
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Transfem Stan Thoughtdump
Okay so @/abyssalzones made a pretty good post that sums up a lot of my thoughts as well, but I have a few extra ones I'd like to add to this discussion, as well as elaborating on one of the post's points. I've been thinking about transfem Stan for a couple of weeks now and at this point I'm like "fuck it we ball" and throwing it out there.
For one, it warms my heart whenever there's an older character who was raised in the mid-1900s/older times who realizes they're queer, or comes to terms with their identity in old age. You're never too old to realize you're part of the community, and never too late. Adding this on top of the many, MANY identities that Stan has had to take to survive in her life, it'd be like really turning over a new leaf for her. She'd get to really step into an identity that she aligns with completely, and not something else given to her or that she took to protect herself.
Not to mention, everything regarding Ford. The fact that she had to pretend to be Ford for so long, she more than likely never had the chance to even think about taking on any other identities. She had to keep this one as intact as she could. Otherwise, she could risk loosing the Shack, and with it, the portal- her brother. No way that was happening.
It was briefly touched in the post, but when Stan was watching that one movie and she was like "JUST LIKE ME FR", obviously the writers intended that to just be a joke since this was as far and away from Stan's identity as they could get. But we're gonna ignore that and take it at face value for a second.
The channel introduces itself (jokingly) as the boring old lady black-and-white channel, clearly something that a manly-man like Stan wouldn't be into, and he reacts like how you'd expect. But once it gets going, he gets fully sucked into it, leading eventually to the scene where the main character, seemingly about to complete a Character Arc™, tells her mother "I'm not just a dutchess, I'm also a woman!" and Stan cheers for her, saying the "just like me fr" line.
Without any transfem headcanons, again, this is a joke. Or you could interpret this in hindsight as Stan feeling a similar way about his father, since lines like "I'm a woman!" declared like that usually means "I'm free to make my own choices," which is a message resident make-my-father-proud-issues Stanley Pines would relate to pretty hard. Even though this isn't a conclusion Stan comes to in the show, we could easily see him coming to a conclusion like that in the future.
Now let's add the transfem headcanon back in. With that new layer to it, Stan (whose egg hasn't cracked yet) would be confused as to why she relates so hard. After all, she's a man who was raised to shove feelings down and be a manly-man man by Filbrick. She's more than likely gone her entire life trying to conform to that idea of toxic masculinity that her dad pushed on both her and Ford. Stan was always the one who resorted to punching, after all. That's a manly-man trait, so surely this goes no further right
There's a part of Gravity Falls that I feel doesn't get discussed enough, and that's the underlying misogyny of it. There's not a ton of it, but there are quite a few jokes about how men are stronger than women and the like. Stan has quite a few lines like that herself. So she would be subscribing to a similar mental state, the idea that if you like punching, CLEARLY you're a guy. Cuz that's how it works. Obviously.
Introducing Mabel Pines, someone who is VERY much a girly-girl. She likes pink and unicorns and rainbows and makeup and sleepovers, stuff of the like. Now I could make a whole other post about my headcanons for Mabel and her queer journey, but one thing she can definitely do that "girly-girls" DON'T? Punching.
Mabel can punch. And she punches a lot.
It's a small thing, and something I think Stan has just kinda accepted without question over the course of the series, but if she were to stop and think about it, she'd be like ".....wait a minute." and it could very well be the first piece that cracks the idea of manly-man masculinity vs just. existing as a person and what that actually means.
Once Stan finally starts to break away from toxic masculinity and all those lessons she got thrown into her head, then her egg would finally be able to start cracking.
As for why it even matters, first off, it just makes for an interesting interpretation of the character I haven't really seen before until VERY recently. Like, within the past 2 days recently (and maybe once like a month ago?? idk).
But secondly, for her character, it would be a good, healthy step into really taking back her identity. Who IS Stan Pines? She's spent so long being other people, either as a form of self-defense or pretending to be her brother so she can help save him from the sideburn hell dimension, that I don't think she's really allowed herself to connect to who Stan is.
This is true regardless of gender headcanon, but I think the transfem angle makes it so much more interesting. Who is Stan? Not even she knows. And she's starting to feel VERY confused about the whole thing.
As for Ford, I think he'd be more than willing to support an identity journey for Stan. After all, he's traveled across dimensions and more than likely had all his teachings questioned as well. I am willing to bet money he's encountered trans people before. And, knowing Ford, he'd be open and curious to the idea, not close-minded, no matter what their father tried to teach his kids. Honestly, I could see Ford pestering Stan with questions long into the night regarding the whole thing, and taking up the whole identity mystery for himself as something the two of them can "crack" (heh) together. Just another adventure for the crew of the Stan'o'War II!
There's SO much more but I don't wanna re-say things that the og post already said, these are just the big ones that stick out to me and what I wanted to elaborate on.
TL;DR Stan goes on a journey of realizing that toxic masculinity Is Bad Actually and honestly so was his father, and once he accepts that and starts actively challenging his own beliefs about gender, her egg cracks and she realizes that maybe she isn't a guy at all. The rest of the Pines- but Ford especially- are supportive, and although Stan has a LOT of self-reflection to do and I could see her getting frustrated, flustered, or even embarrassed of her newfound realization, ultimately it makes her happier like this. Cuz it's her identity. She's not pretending to be anyone else anymore and she can just wholly be herself.
Thank you and goodnight
#gravity falls#trans#stan pines#stanley pines#grunkle stan#i've also been thinking about other nuances this headcanon would create- stuff like name changes#i don't think she would change her name#again she's been just NOT ALLOWED to be Stanley Pines for her entire life basically#so finally getting Ford back and being allowed to step back into her birthname would be cathartic#i could see her start to go by “ley” or “lee” like abyssal said as well#but i think stan works just fine#i also think she'd be fine using he/him (nice and familiar) as well but would PREFER she/her#also i don't think she'd try to change her voice or start E or anything either#i could see her growing her hair out longer and testing out more fem clothing choices to see if she likes it#and if mabel decides to do her makeup she's not going to say no fhdsjk#i have. so many thoughts about her#anyway shut up dims just post it already i'm just stalling at this point#hopefully the transphobes dont find this lmao#dimond speaks
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