#well that someone is meeeee :3

[yaoicrack]

yay i think im onto smth here..my little beast s/i that somehow survived animal dna injection and organ transplants and brain microchip and hes just hanging out silly style

[fitzselfships]

Zooble would yell at anyone who is ableist to me <3

[ruvviks]

Chapter >> 16 [x] Characters >> Matvey Dobrynin (oc), Nadya Dobrynina (oc), Vincent Mayer (oc), Vitali Dobrynin (oc) Total >> 8.1k words Warnings >> Alcohol mention, arguing, blood, death, descriptions of drowning, gore, injuries, smoking (/+ relapse), transphobia (one implied instance of deadnaming in part 1, some instances of misgendering in part 3), violence

Vitali could not open his eyes.

He wanted to, of course he did; surrounded by screams and cries for help and gunfire and people running around, running right into him and shoving him aside but catching him before he could fall- yet he found himself unable to, eyelids heavy and eyelashes stuck to his skin with a dried up substance he had not yet been able to identify.

Every step he set forward hurt, painful jabs shooting up his spine to his neck; though a searing pain in his left forearm drew his attention more than anything else, warm liquid trickling down his skin and dripping on the floor from his fingertips.

He was dreaming.

He knew he was; he often did, yet remained unable to do anything about it or to control whatever was happening around him. Simply a passenger in his own body, though still more aware than he would sometimes be when fully awake- it almost felt like mockery, in a way.

Vitali reached for his face, bloodied fingers clawing at the dried up blood covering his face and keeping his eyes shut tight- nails tearing open skin and drawing even more of it, dark red tears heavy on his cheeks as they stained his pale visage.

The screaming surrounding him became louder, and louder- as well as the ringing in his right ear, drowning out the noises behind him and wrapping around him like a safe and warm blanket fresh out of a basket of dried laundry. Though it made him feel the exact opposite; and he kept scratching, and scratching, and scratching-

And he opened his eyes.

‘Vitali?’

The hallway was quiet and dark, the flashlight of Vitali’s phone only slightly illuminating the path in front of him toward his bedroom door- but his attention was fixed on the other end of the hallway, where his father stood motionless, cold eyes staring at him from behind his reading glasses.

‘Party lasted a little longer than I had thought,’ Vitali quietly said, almost as a reflex; an instinctive answer, as he watched Matvey slowly walk closer to him and Vitali expected him to reach out, pluck that half smoked cigarette out of his hair for him-

But instead his father grabbed his wrist and lifted it up and when Vitali looked down his arm was a deep crimson color, drenched in his own blood as his skin peeled away revealing bright red flesh and exposed bone.

He opened his mouth to scream but no sound left his throat as his vision faded, Matvey disappearing into nothing but his grip on Vitali’s wrist leaving a burning imprint on his skin. It felt like he was falling; tumbling backwards into the void of his own nightmare, heart pounding in his chest and breathing panicked and shallow while he squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to wake up-

‘How dare you show your face here again!’

Nadya’s voice cut through the silence surrounding him and suddenly Vitali felt solid ground under his feet once more. He opened his eyes; found himself back in that poorly lit hallway in that Megabuilding, his mother standing right in front of him- shorter than him, far below his eye level, yet towering over him at the very same time.

‘You’re not welcome here anymore,’ she spat, adding a name to her statement; a name Vitali had not heard in a long time yet one that cut deeper than any knife could ever cut, one that hurt more than any pain he had ever had to endure in his entire life.

All the things he wanted to say to her; yet no words left his lips as he watched her turn around and walk back into her apartment- no, it was his childhood home now, the apartment on the pier of Wellsprings, right next to where he lived nowadays- and Ravager was there too, mangled, two dead eyes staring straight ahead and a gaping hole in his forehead, a grin far too wide to be natural decorating the lower half of his face-

Vitali’s body was locked in place. He could not even turn his head away or close his eyes when his mother fell into the corpse’s arms and kissed him and-

He was falling again.

He could hear rushing water around him; and before he could even finish that thought he fell into an ice cold river, the current instantly pulling him down by his legs and he could only just suck in a deep breath before his head was entirely submerged.

He was unable to tell what was up and what was down, his body being wildly flung around in the water and hitting rocks and pieces of wood and whatever else got in his way. He could barely see anything- only flashes of light and darkness spinning in circles around him, spots dancing in front of his eyes as the oxygen in his lungs steadily began to run out-

His arm got caught between something. But the stream did not stop dragging him along.

And before Vitali knew it his arm was no longer attached to his torso and the deep blue water around him colored red as he opened his mouth to scream, to cry out in pain yet the pain did not come- and instead his mouth filled with water and so did his windpipe and his lungs-

He knew what dying felt like.

Vitali bolted up, the cool air of his bedroom like tiny needles in his throat as he gasped for breath and instinctively moved his hand to his neck. His shaking fingertips collided with burning hot and sweaty skin; and even the lightest of pressure hurt, despite the time that had passed the dark bruising Ravager’s hands had left still fresh and painful with every touch.

Tears blurred his vision and he lowered his hand again, the initial pain in his neck now burning through his shoulder down to his forearm. Tightly wrapped in bandages; though the pressure was not enough to distract from the searing and stinging sensation the gaping wound had left him with.

He slowly moved closer to the edge of the bed, shaking hand reaching for the glass of water and bottle of painkillers on his nightstand. One, two- surely three wouldn’t kill him, just this once- quickly swallowed them all, washed them down with the lukewarm water from last night.

It was daytime. Vincent was no longer there in bed with him, and the curtains were already partially open. Though it did not do much; heavy rain and thunder plagued Night City, leaving Vitali’s bedroom mostly in the dark despite it already being close to noon.

His gaze lingered on the window as he sat in complete silence, hands resting on his lap as he tried to catch his breath- and with every second that passed, the pain in his body slowly faded away, until he was left with just the feeling of his own heartbeat in the place where his mantis blade used to be.

For a brief moment, he had truly believed he was going to die.

Again- His heart stopping like it had done before, but permanently this time- getting choked to death by Ravager with none of his friends there to save him, just like they had been unable to save him before.

Vitali’s hand subconsciously moved to his neck again, rolling thunder in the distance briefly drowning out the ringing in his ears. The swelling was mostly gone by then; though he still had trouble breathing, the inside of his throat raw and every inhale and exhale like a weight being pressed down onto his chest.

His father had saved him.

It made sense, in a way, Vitali supposed. Matvey had made it clear his intention was not to kill his son; he simply wanted to take everything from Vitali like he believed Vitali had done to him. And for that, he needed him alive.

Yet something about it did not feel right.

But Vitali was unable to put his finger on what.

He slowly rose to his feet, leaving his hearing aid on his nightstand and using the wall as support as he walked and slowly made his way to the hallway of his penthouse, and then the living room. Some lights were on- one in the kitchen, one above the coffee table- yet the room was empty, Mikhail at work to keep business going with Cato, and Vincent presumably in the bathroom.

Vitali was craving something.

He was hungry- yet not nearly hungry enough to walk into the kitchen and make himself some breakfast. His hands were restless; fingers fumbling as he tucked the edge of his t-shirt into his sweatpants, pulled it out again, and tucked it back in.

More distant thunder echoed through the dark skies of Night City as Vitali wandered over to the entrance of his penthouse’s balcony and he picked up his cigarette case and lighter from the cabinet beside it. He rarely smoked anymore; not as if it mattered at all, since the stuff inside was fake anyway.

Though lately he had reached for his case a lot more often than before, and the usual cravings- keeping his hands busy for a while, subconsciously regulating his breathing with the act- were not as easily satisfied as in the way they used to.

As if he was missing something now.

I won’t let it get to that.

A somewhat ironic thought, as Vitali opened the balcony door, flicked out a cigarette and lit it, inhaling the tasteless smoke and exhaling through his nose. He had said the same about his alcohol intake at some point in time- and he had not been able to keep his word for that, either.

‘Thought I heard something.’

The corners of Vitali’s mouth curled up in a light smile upon hearing Vincent’s voice faintly behind him and he leaned sideways against the doorway, free hand instinctively reaching out- and Vincent took his hand in both his own, giving it a soft squeeze as he walked closer.

For many years, Vitali had been alone.

It had never done him any good; despite his longing for some solitude for most of his childhood, fed up with his family and wanting nothing more than to get away from them for good and to have a place he could call his own.

But once he had gotten exactly what he had wanted, those four decrepit walls of that poor excuse of an apartment in the Glen had been unable to keep him company throughout most of his early years as an adult. And when he had moved after finally making a comfortable living at Arasaka, the luxurious home he had found himself in had been about as empty as the gaping hole the absence of family and friends had left in his chest.

Vitali clenched his jaw as he took another drag from his cigarette, sharp exhale leaving his chest while Vincent leaned against him with a soft sigh, thumb gently running over the back of Vitali’s cold, lightly shaking hand.

Even the penthouse he lived in now had once been too big and too empty for just him alone. A busy day at his office followed by a quiet and lonely night, right next to the building he had grown up in; a balcony that overlooked the ocean, its vast deepness stretching as far as the eye could see.

Vitali had often stood there, where he stood now; smoking a cigarette, staring at the ocean and listening to the sounds of the city below, feeling the cool wind in his hair and on his skin. He would stand there and wonder- wonder what else was there for him, wonder if he could ever get the comfort he used to have when he’d been younger back.

And he had, eventually.

He had found it again with Vincent, and now he no longer slept alone- and with Mikhail living with them too it would only be on rare occasions he would find himself all by himself at home. Even if he was, he still had their cats Nibbles and Sapphire to keep him company, to make him feel at ease.

Though in that moment, even with Vincent’s arms loosely wrapped around his waist and his breath hot in his neck, Vitali was more on edge than he had been in a very long time.

‘Lot of static in the air today,’ Vincent suddenly hummed, pressing a soft kiss on Vitali’s shoulder. ‘Pretty high up- might wanna close the door.’

‘You’re right- sorry.’ A pang of shame tightened Vitali’s chest and he quickly extinguished the barely smoked cigarette, tossing it in the ashtray on the table of the balcony before stepping back inside and closing the door. ‘Did not think that through.’

‘No worries. Your head’s elsewhere, I understand.’

Vitali could barely look his boyfriend in the eyes as he turned toward him, allowing Vincent to gently brush some of his hair out of his face. It was a little damp, still- his feverish night had left him sweating, and he had not yet taken a moment to clean himself up.

He was bracing himself.

Tension lingered in the air around them though not merely because of the thunder clouds hanging over town; Vitali knew Vincent was holding something back, recognizing his little mannerisms and nervous tics and knowing exactly what would come next.

‘When are we going to talk about it?’

There it is.

Vitali closed his eyes and leaned in to Vincent’s touch, fingertips tingling on his skin as they dragged down his temple to his cheek. A situation all too familiar to him; a conversation between him and Mikhail at the very start of that year, a much needed talk yet neither of them had been ready for it in the slightest-

He couldn’t do it again.

‘There is not much to talk about,’ he promptly replied, opening his eyes again and straightening his back. He opened his mouth to say something else- perhaps to try and elaborate further, or to change the subject- yet no sound left his lips, words escaping him the second he noticed Vincent clenching his jaw and lightly shaking his head in response.

Vitali was not necessarily a conflict-avoidant man. Plenty of proof for it to be found in his past- and especially now as a fixer it was more than often a necessary means to an end, and he knew very well it was of no use to continue to try and squeeze around the elephant in the room.

Whenever things needed to be talked about, he was more than willing to talk about it; knowing exactly what would happen were things to be left unsaid, what would happen if he would let it all pile up and explode at the wrong place and time with the wrong person on the receiving end.

But Vitali was exhausted.

Just like he had been with Mikhail. They had never fought before, ever, in all their years of knowing each other- and it had not needed to turn into a fight yet it still had, and it still haunted Vitali to that very day.

‘Somethin’ needs to happen,’ Vincent quietly said, fingers fumbling with the collar of Vitali’s t-shirt, eyes staring straight ahead yet just past Vitali’s face. ‘I feel like we’re just stuck now. What are we waiting for?’

Oh, how Vitali wished Vincent would stop talking.

He didn’t even know the answer to the question. What was he waiting for? He couldn’t even recall how much time had passed exactly since the death of- hell, Vitali could not even remember the man’s name- and he had no idea what Matvey had been doing in the meantime, either.

‘He won’t come to his senses.’ Vincent briefly paused and bit his lower lip, lightly shaking his head again as he lowered his gaze. ‘You’ve given him time, Vito- every fuckin’ opportunity to take a step back, to stop doing this-’

‘He saved my life.’

The words had left Vitali’s lips before he could stop himself.

No turning back now- Vincent looked back up at him, a somewhat questioning look on his face, mouth still half open as he had stopped mid-sentence. Vitali clenched his jaw, heartbeat picking up in his chest as he shrugged and spoke again.

‘He spared me.’

‘Are you sure?’

That didn’t land well.

Vitali sharply inhaled through his nose and froze in place, heart dropping in his chest as Vincent’s words settled in his head.

His mind instantly wandered back to that day- as much as he had tried to push it all as far back as possible, as much as he had tried to ignore it- and the vivid memories of Matvey’s gun aimed at his head, of the weight of Ravager’s corpse on top of him, of the ringing in his ears from the gunshot that had echoed through the room when Matvey had pulled the trigger-

Yet suddenly Vitali was not sure anymore.

‘What?’

A coldness to his voice he could not stop from spilling from his lips as he spoke, as much as he tried to. And Vincent clearly noticed- nervously shifting his weight from one leg to the other as he straightened his back a little bit and quickly pulled his hands away from Vitali’s clothes.

‘You were- I dunno, I just… You were bleeding out, and it could’ve easily been just-’

‘He was there, okay?’

‘Okay.’

Vitali knew.

His mind easily played tricks on him. And what Vincent said, made perfect sense to him.

Yet his words had sounded just a little too familiar to Vitali’s liking- unintentionally so, he assumed- similar to how his mother used to question everything Vitali would say to the point he would forget about entire situations that had happened only minutes ago merely because of Nadya's doubt.

He could already barely trust his own mind now that Arasaka had toyed with it. The last thing he needed was someone else making it worse.

‘I saw him,’ he finally spoke, a flash of lightning outside causing the lamp above the coffee table to briefly flicker. ‘He was- Please don’t- Don’t say things like that.’

‘Sorry.’

They could barely look at each other, now.

The storm had picked up outside, rain slamming itself into the windows of the penthouse and the wind howling almost loud enough for Vitali to be unable to hear what Vincent was saying.

They’d had their disagreements before. Vincent was bold enough to speak up if he believed something had to be said- about anything, from their personal lives to everything related to their respective jobs. Both of them a little stubborn, both of them a little prideful- but both of them also mature enough to own up for their mistakes, and realize when they were in the wrong.

This was different.

‘Look,’ Vincent suddenly started again, a bit more volume to his voice now that it was no longer as quiet in the room as before. ‘All I’m sayin’ is that the longer we let him and his mercs run free-’

‘That is the whole point,’ Vitali cut him off- gently, or, at least, as gentle as he could. ‘His mercenaries are all still there. They might work for him, but they’re out for my blood either way because they feel like I betrayed them! What’s the point of killing him specifically right now?’

He was grasping at straws, mostly. Trying to buy himself some time- trying to come up with a better answer for Vincent that would be satisfying enough so they could move on from it, at least for the time being. They could continue the conversation at a later point in time, come up with a plan when Vitali no longer felt like someone was hammering his brain black and blue-

But he knew the more he spoke, the further he would dig his own grave.

‘We’ll deal with ‘em in time,’ Vincent responded, and he now took a slight step to the side to be able to catch Vitali’s gaze again.

‘Look- I know this is difficult for you, but your father is the root of the problem. We’ve established this- he’s not showing any change- and I think we’ve waited long enough now.’

‘Why not just deal with mercs, then?’ Vitali fired back.

‘We’ve been doing that! There’s so many of them and he keeps sending more.’ Vincent licked his lips and vaguely gestured outside. ‘Your father has resources, Vito! He’s got connections, he’s got corporations in his pocket- We kill his mercs, how long before he’s got a bunch of new gonkheads workin’ for him?’

‘So we take his resources away. Cut his contacts, let him-’

‘Oh, the same thing he’s doing to you right now? The same thing he’s currently failing so fantastically at? That’s your suggestion?’

‘What else do you want me to fucking say?’

Vitali’s heart was beating high in his chest and he was starting to become light-headed. He watched as Vincent scoffed and took a few steps away from him, shrugging again and throwing his hands up in exasperation.

And Vitali understood. He knew what it looked like from anyone else’s perspective- why the fuck was he even protecting his father, after everything that had happened?

But he couldn’t do it.

He hadn’t been able to, even when he’d had the chance.

‘So much fucking time has passed by now,’ Vincent said, his voice low and his eyes unfocused, and filled with tears. ‘So much fucking time- and nothing’s changed!’

‘He isn’t out to kill me-’ Vitali started, Vincent was not done.

‘He’s not-? Not yet, no! And everyone else is expendable to him!’ He sucked in a deep, shaky breath and wildly gestured around the room. ‘How long before he’s gonna kill someone else-’

‘We are not going to kill my father and that’s an order!’

Vitali’s voice echoed through the room, like thunder booming through the desolate streets of the city down below. It startled him a little- and it startled Vincent as well, his shoulders tensing up and a shaky exhale leaving his lips the second it happened.

Silence washed over the penthouse as the rain outside settled down, sky slowly clearing up and a single ray of sunlight brightly illuminating the space between the two men near the balcony door. Realization hit the both of them at once; and while Vitali’s chest tightened and a knot took shape in his throat, Vincent simply relaxed, dropping his arms past his body as another scoff left his mouth.

‘Right.’ He stepped back, visibly biting the inside of his cheek as his eyes wandered off into the rest of the living room and he did a mocking salute in Vitali’s direction. ‘Yessir.’

‘Vincent-’ Vitali pleaded, stepping forward and-

‘V, please.’

The sharp edge to his words cut deep into Vitali’s skin and he closed his eyes, heart shattering into a million pieces and for a second- just for a brief second- he wondered if he was still asleep, still trapped in that feverish nightmare, still trying desperately to wake up-

But when he opened his eyes he was still in the same position as before and Vincent still could not look at him, a single tear rolling down his cheek when he spoke again.

‘Just V.’

You did this to yourself, Vitali.

Unable to just keep his stubborn mouth shut, unable to ask if they could talk about it some other time. Wanting things to be resolved immediately- and making it worse with every word he said instead, unintentional perhaps, but it was far too late to try and take anything back now.

Vitali stood in complete silence as he watched V wander away from him further until he reached the stairs and dropped himself down on top of the second-to-last step, elbows resting on his knees and hands in his hair.

He had not meant to say the things he’d said- well, mainly the last words that had left his lips. Out of character, even for him as a fixer; Vitali had never been one to mindlessly order people around, even back at Arasaka it had set him apart from his colleagues.

God, why had he said that?

Vitali’s hands were fumbling with his t-shirt again, restless as they had been when he had entered the room. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and leaned back against the window, gaze fixed on the ceiling high above his head, jaw clenched and attention focused on anything but V’s unstable breathing.

Tell him you’re sorry. Fucking say something- anything.

‘I couldn’t do it,’ Vitali suddenly heard himself say.

He blinked a few times, a desperate attempt to drag himself back to reality, to get himself back into his body- and when he did, V’s attention was on him again, though he did not move from his position on the stairs nor could he hold Vitali’s gaze.

‘I had him,’ he continued, and slowly pushed himself away from the window again as he made a pistol with his fingers and held it out in front of him, closing one eye as he pretended to fire it at the wall.

‘I had him, V. Lined up in my sights. His gun was not aimed at either of us- I could have pulled the trigger. It would’ve been done.’

A wry smile spread on Vitali’s face and he lowered his hand again, the smile fading as the knot in his stomach tightened and the memories flooded back into his brain.

‘I just couldn’t do it.’

Something had stopped him. Memories- of another lifetime, it had felt like- memories of himself and Matvey in that dark hallway of their home, just the two of them and nobody else. It had happened so many times; and not a single time had he been angry with Vitali.

It had always bothered him a little bit. Something about those moments was different.

But Vitali was unable to put his finger on what.

‘I don’t care what you think of me, or what anyone else thinks,’ he finally continued, straightening his back and running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face. ‘I don’t care what you would have done in my situation- I cannot kill my father and I will not let any of you do it either.’

It wouldn’t solve anything.

Neither would doing nothing- and he knew that. He knew that very well.

But deep within, at his core, Vitali Dobrynin was not a killer, and he did not have it in him to be responsible for the end of his father’s life.

Vitali slowly turned away to look outside, the sky clear now that the storm had passed. It felt wrong, somehow; the bright sun a stark contrast to the uneasy feeling that had settled deep within his chest and stomach and caused the hairs on his arms to stand up straight. Out of the corner of his eye he could still see the threatening clouds in the distance, moving over Pacifica toward the Badlands.

‘I’m sorry, V,’ he quietly said, his gaze finding the merc’s reflection in the window. ‘I know this is not what you want to hear. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to let it get to this. I’m sorry.’

His apology wouldn’t set it right, nor would it change anything. But he meant it.

He meant it so deeply.

Vitali watched in complete silence as V finally moved- slowly rose to his feet and sucked in a deep breath, adjusted his clothes a bit- then walked a little closer to him, though hesitantly, and he stopped a lot earlier than Vitali wanted him to.

‘I’m sorry, too,’ he quietly said while Vitali turned around to face him again, and he crossed his arms tightly in front of his chest. ‘It’s just- becoming a bit too much, I think.’

Months had gone by.

Months of uncertainty, months of fear; they’d had their moments of peace, but Matvey’s presence had continued to loom over them every passing day, casting a dark shadow over Vitali- and over everyone who got too close to him.

Of course he understood V’s frustration. Of course he understood his mercenaries were starting to doubt him, and of course he understood why the Council no longer trusted him either.

And perhaps if he had been just a little bit less in control of himself- if he had been just a little less certain of who he was, and what he believed in-

Perhaps he would have already given up by then.

After all, it did make sense to him. Arasaka had toyed with his mind- he could’ve easily made his father up. Could’ve easily done it all himself, in his convenient absence each and every time tragedy would strike.

It would have been a genius plan, Vitali had to admit- well within his capabilities too, he could have pulled it off.

But that was not who he was. He would never do something like that.

Vitali clenched his jaw and took a hesitant step in V’s direction, reaching out a hand with a questioning look on his face; but V merely held his arms tightly crossed and averted his gaze in response.

‘Had it been anyone else-’ Vitali quietly said, lowering his arm and letting it dangle past his side.

‘I know,’ V quickly replied, ‘I know. It’s your father.’

Family was complicated.

All of them had hesitated, in a way- Daniil reconsidering Vitali’s cry for help, Roksana giving in to his request to stay out of it, Nadya tiptoeing around the inevitable conversation that had been about to ensue- but at the end of all things they had not chosen Vitali.

Daniil had left to be with his own family- his wife, a child on the way- and Roksana had left to be alone, away from all of them to build something up herself. And Nadya had stayed; but not for Vitali, and not for Matvey, but for Ravager of all people, and now with the cyborg dead and rotting in some NCPD morgue Vitali did not know what his mother would do.

But Matvey was different. Somehow.

He had killed Ravager. Had saved Vitali’s life. Had chosen to do so- and Vitali was unable to let it go.

‘Cato and Misha are trying to find his base of operations,’ he said, visibly startling V by accident with the sudden sound of his voice. ‘Once we find it, we take down his mercs, take his resources. And maybe-’

Vitali couldn’t finish his sentence.

‘I don’t know,’ he cut himself off, pushing the thought of pulling the trigger on his father out of his head. ‘I suppose I’m still hoping for something to happen.’

‘Guess only time will tell.’

Silence fell over the room and V finally relaxed, exhaustion washing over his figure as he bit the inside of his cheek again and looked at anything except for Vitali. And Vitali could not stop himself from trying again, reaching out a hesitant hand in hopes V would-

‘I- I need some space,’ V quietly said. ‘I’ll be in Misha’s room for a bit.’

Vitali found himself frozen in position, hand still mid-air and heart still racing in his chest. His initial reaction was a familiar one- it’s not fucking fair- but he doubted that was true, and wisely kept his mouth shut.

He and V had never once argued like they’d had just now, in the entire year they had been together- or since they had met, for that matter. And just like with Mikhail it did not feel right to stand there, in the very same room yet somehow with so much distance between them, the air around them still static and tense as if any other spoken word would cause another thunderstorm to roll in.

Vitali watched as V glanced in his direction then turned on his heels, hurried pace through the living room and back into the hallway leading to the bathroom and bedrooms.

‘I’m sorry,’ he quickly said, before V could vanish behind the wall. He stopped in his tracks, and visibly hesitated- yet did not turn around as he spoke one final time.

‘I know.’

And Vitali was alone in the room again.

The pressure that had been building up in his head now reached its peak, the echo of his heartbeat heavy and painful against his skull as if threatening to beat its way through. It spread downward, to just behind his eyes- but the tears wouldn’t come, eyes unfocused but dry and he simply did not have the energy in him to cry.

He slowly inhaled and turned back around, balling his shaky hand into a fist and placing his knuckles against the glass of the window. Oh, how satisfying it would feel to punch through it- feel the glass shatter underneath his touch, feel the shards stick into skin and flesh and leave bruises and blood behind.

It wouldn’t solve anything. It wouldn’t even make him feel better.

So instead Vitali straightened his back and carefully opened the door of his penthouse’s balcony again, closing his eyes when a soft and gentle breeze hit his skin and moved through his hair. He reached out for his case- flicked a cigarette out, put it between his lips- and despite the weight of his lighter in his hand feeling more like a burden than a relief this time, he lit it, the tasteless smoke not satisfying any of his needs but at least keeping him busy for some minutes.

A distraction was all he needed, sometimes.

The thunderstorm outside had picked up again.

Worse than earlier that afternoon; each flash of lightning was accompanied by at least two more, the booming thunder like explosions mere milliseconds afterwards echoing through the streets of Charter Hill.

An impressive display of weather- the pitch black sky illuminated by bolt after bolt, their crackled imprints in the clouds like cracks in dark marble. It wasn’t raining, now; and with the air still suffocatingly hot it made sense for a window to be open, despite the thunder effectively drowning out any other noise inside the tall office building.

A genius plan, really. Hiding in plain sight- just another corpo building like any other in the district- no one would bat an eye. And no one would come looking there either, as it had turned out; perhaps Vitali was expecting more secret hideouts, more decrepit old Arasaka facilities no longer in use by the corporation.

Oh, Vitali.

The spacious office was dark, barely any natural light pouring in from the windows and Matvey had not bothered to get up and turn on the ceiling lights either. He was sat at his desk- arms draped over the arm rests of his chair, cigarette dangling between his fingers- and stared straight ahead, mind completely elsewhere as he listened to the storm outside.

He was no longer the respectable man he used to be. Had barely found the energy that morning to make himself look presentable- and by then his hair was no longer neatly slicked back and instead fell in strands down his forehead, he had removed his tie and the top buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, collar pulled to the side slightly revealing a deep-set scar his visit to the Arasaka event earlier that month had left him with.

He brought the cigarette to his lips, eyes fluttering shut the second another explosion of thunder shook all the windows of his office. The fumes made him nauseous; he had not smoked in years. Yet somehow he was already on his third that day.

Everything had changed, when Matvey Dobrynin lost his job.

He had lost his position in Arasaka; a position he’d fought so hard for, for years, a decent position that had finally provided him the respect and admiration he’d always thought he deserved. He’d lost his stable income, his healthcare benefits- his insurance too, and a large chunk of his savings.

But Matvey was a resourceful man. He’d had no doubt his opportunities would be plentiful even after his unfortunate departure from the corporation. Perhaps no longer on Arasaka grounds- perhaps Kang Tao would want to hire him, or Militech, considering his strong ties with them through Arasaka’s Finances Division- but that would have been alright with him, as long as he could restore some of his dignity he’d lost on the way down.

But Nadya had different plans.

Had it just been Matvey who had been fired, who knows what would have happened? He could still vividly remember his wife’s rage when she too had lost her job, and could still vividly remember how she had spent night after night after night in the living room trying to figure out what had happened, what had gone wrong, why they had been sent away.

He slowly raised his cigarette again, rolling it between his fingers as he stared at the lightly burning end of it, the ashes dropping down onto his desk. Barely smoked- but he still pressed it out in the ashtray sitting in front of him, watching the smoke dissipate in the stuffy air of his office.

Vitali’s fault, somehow. Nadya had always been quick to blame their son- though with a significant lack of respect for his identity- and Matvey had barely believed her at first.

But after doing some more digging in Arasaka’s archives together he had been left with no other choice.

Loud, rapid knocking on the door dragged Matvey out of his thoughts and he glanced up, inhaling deeply as he straightened his back and allowed his mercs access to his office with a “come in”, only just loud enough to be heard over the thunderstorm outside. A tall, bald man covered in faded Valentinos tattoos and his scrawny, cyborg friend- Sanders and Dusty, if he remembered correctly- entered; and from their faces Matvey could instantly tell something was wrong.

Of course he knew what was going on- his mercenaries were getting impatient. They wondered what they were waiting for; still loyal enough to wait for his signal but their inability to sit still and follow his exact orders was causing them to get nervous, and restless.

‘What’s the plan, boss?’ Sanders plainly asked, stopping in his tracks right before the desk, hand tapping on the side of his thigh. His pale eyes bore holes through Matvey’s forehead and his jaw appeared tightly clenched- holding back his words, his entire body language showing the fixer he was barely able to contain himself.

A quick assessment of the situation at hand- Matvey knew well enough it was necessary when dealing with unpredictable guns for hire and his keen eye for anything out of the ordinary had saved his ass several times before already. He slowly leaned back in his seat and crossed one leg over the other; and in that very same movement he carefully drew a gun from a hidden compartment just below the tabletop of his desk, and rested it on his thigh with his finger ready beside the trigger.

‘We have discussed this before,’ he spoke, not batting an eye when Sanders scoffed and took a small step back, almost bumping into Dusty in the process. ‘You wait for my signal while I plan our next move. Make yourself useful in the armory, if you so please- go over our supplies, do a workout.’

So much had changed, since the beginning of it all- Matvey was not even sure anymore where it had gone wrong. Perhaps Nadya losing interest after her initial anger had pushed him to take action was what had caused everything to spiral; perhaps he himself had gone too far in his quest for revenge, somewhere along the way; or perhaps his mercenaries taking control over situations and wreaking havoc across town at a much larger scale than he had ever intended for was letting it all get out of hand, to the point he had to wonder for how much longer he would be able to control them at all.

And ever since the last time he saw Vitali- bloodied and beaten and nearly choked to death by Ravager, mantis blade ripped out of his arm- he was no longer sure what he was even doing it all for anymore.

So much time had passed, so many things had changed; it was hard to tell who had caused the chain of dominos to start falling in the first place.

‘What’s next? You gonna start makin’ us do your paperwork for you?’ Sanders suddenly asked, a faint smile lingering on his face but Matvey knew he was not playing around. The merc wandered closer again and rested his hands on the desk, leaning forward- a poor attempt at intimidation- and he slightly tilted his head, eyes narrowing when he noticed Matvey did not react.

‘It’s been days,’ he said. ‘Thought you said he’s injured- what’s the fuckin’ holdup? You wanna hit ‘im where it hurts, should’a struck a day or two ago. My people are gettin’ agitated- the boys are gonna pick up crocheting as a hobby at this rate!’

‘Your people?’ Matvey repeated, raising his eyebrows as he suddenly leaned forward and placed his forearms on his desk, revealing the gun in his hand- causing Sanders to jump back immediately, and Dusty to follow suit.

‘As far as I’m concerned I am still in charge here,’ he continued, running his finger over the side of the gun neatly placed on his desk, the barrel aimed directly at the merc stood in front of him. ‘I have made the terms of the contract you signed clear when you signed it; it is not up for negotiation and even if it was- this is no way to bring that up in a civilized conversation.’

‘You’re not gettin’ shit done,’ Sanders bluntly replied. ‘Thought we had a plan- thought we had a deal.’

‘And the deal is still on and you will get what you came to me for.’ Matvey paused, slightly tilting his head as he waited for the weight of his words to settle in Sanders’ pea of a brain. ‘Vitali will pay for what he did to you- to all of you. In time. Patience, Sanders.’

‘Runnin’ a little thin these days.’ Sanders licked his lips, and a grin spread on his face. ‘My boys say you’re goin’ soft.’

Do they now?

Matvey did not care what they thought of him. His mercs meant nothing in the bigger picture of things- nothing more than a bunch of disloyal cunts who abandoned Vitali the second he hadn't been there to change their diapers anymore.

Sure, right for the taking for Matvey- but who in their right mind would put their full trust in people willing to get up and walk away that easily?

‘Listen, Dobrynin,’ Sanders slowly said and walked closer again, about as close to the desk as he could physically get- no longer worried by the gun resting on top, perhaps overtaken by bravery, perhaps by mere foolishness.

‘I don’t know what happened last time you saw him, and frankly I don’t care. Maybe we failed this time- what’s the big deal? There’s several other events lined up- the fundraiser in a week, that gala you mentioned? Just kill another guy and blame it on ‘im, get it over with!’

‘If we strike too often we will raise suspicion and draw Arasaka’s attention toward us,’ Matvey calmly responded, but Sanders was already not listening anymore.

‘You’re just like him!’ he yelled and scoffed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. ‘Always waiting. Just a bit longer- just to see what happens. And for fuckin’ what? Your fuckin’ piece of shit failure of a son took everything from us, he took everything from you, and you’re just lettin’ him get away with it? If it weren’t for your fuckin’ contract I would’ve already strangled the life out of him a long fuckin’ time-’

BANG!

Something inside Matvey snapped.

He stood motionless behind his desk, chair fallen to the floor; gun tightly in his hand, finger still solidly around the trigger, the booming noise and echo of the gunshot drowned out by the thunderstorm but the ringing left like an alarm in his ears.

Sanders lay motionless on the floor in front of him, a large pool of blood taking shape underneath his corpse and staining the concrete floor. Another body to bury- or, burn, he supposed- one of many, just another tally mark on the wall of those who had lost their lives on his path of revenge.

Matvey watched the blood spread over the floor as his heartbeat slowly settled down, a tight knot in his throat making it hard to breathe; and he lowered his gun but kept his finger around the trigger, his grip so tight he almost feared he would accidentally fire it a second time.

He had not meant for that to happen.

Whether that was actually true or he simply told himself that to ease his mind, he was not sure- not as if it mattered. All he wondered was why; what had caused his anger to overtake him to such a degree he had felt the need to-

‘Sir?’

Dusty had taken a few hesitant steps closer, his voice unmistakably unstable as he spoke. Matvey blinked and turned to look at him- and a single glance was enough to cause the other man to stop in his tracks and freeze on the spot.

‘Leave,’ he heard himself say, voice low as he gestured to the entrance of his office with the gun still in his hand.

‘Should I get some people to clean this u-’

‘I said leave.’

‘Yes, sir. Of course.’

Matvey dropped the gun on his desk as Dusty hurriedly left the room, the door slamming shut a lot louder than necessary causing Matvey’s shoulders to tense up. He absently turned around and set his chair back on the floor- then sank down into it, running a hand through his hair as his eyes wandered back to the still growing pool of blood underneath Sanders’ body.

‘That traitor took everything from us. And you’re just going to let her get away with it?’

Nadya’s voice boomed through the living room, the sharp edge to her words cutting through like a knife carving into skin and flesh and from the corner of his eye Matvey could see Roksana flinch on the couch.

‘We don’t know what happened to him,’ Matvey plainly answered. ‘It could all just be a misunderstanding-’

‘We have lost our fucking jobs! They are not going to give it back!’

Nadya cursed loudly and kicked against one of the chairs at the table, the noises of it echoing through the space surrounding them- and with that, Daniil stood up from the couch and guided his sister out of the room, shooting a single glare at his father on their way out.

‘What the fuck are you protecting her for?’ Nadya cried, leaning backwards against the table.

‘I am not protecting him,’ Matvey cut her off, a bluntness to his voice as he put extra emphasis on the last word of his sentence. ‘Merely giving him the benefit of doubt-’

‘And for WHAT? Do you truly care so little about your fucking family?!’

Matvey rose to his feet with a similar force as earlier and grabbed his gun and screamed- and he emptied it entirely in the floor right next to Sanders’ corpse, the impact of the bullets causing blood to splatter around and leave several new stains around the holes.

It didn’t feel good.

He scoffed and tossed the empty weapon on his desk, and it bounced right off the wood and clattered on the floor instead. Dropped himself back into his chair- ran both his hands through his hair as he inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring while he sucked in his cheek and bit down hard- until the bitter taste of blood spilled into his mouth.

Matvey had not heard from Nadya in several weeks now. He had no idea what she had been up to, ever since they had been forced to relocate when Dupoint had given Vitali a location to work with.

He had no idea what he was doing any of it for anymore.

And with that, he reached for the pack of cigarettes again, flicking one out and putting it between his lips and lighting it while another crackle of thunder illuminated the dark skies above Night City.

[changisworld]

Spit with HanJisung.

->Spit kink: A spit kink is when someone is sexually aroused by consuming or being spat on someone, in a sexual setting.

Word count:1,645

->Smut warnings: Oral(m rec), Jisung is dirtyyyy, they’re both subby tbh, hair pulling, face fucking, begging(??), ball play, cum eating, kissing:3

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post, 18+ MDNI!!

Kinktober masterlist here

main masterlist here

If anyone was to tell you Jisung loves messy, dirty sex before you both got together, you would have obviously believed it, & you're glad it's true because you'd be lying if his slight perv tendencies when he thought you weren't looking didn't attract you to him in the first place.

Jisung made it pretty clear pretty quickly that he is into everything, creampie, pussy eating, anal, choking, hair pulling, being tied up, you've even experimented with piss a couple of times & the word obsessed doesn't even begin to cut it, but one of Jisungs current favourite kinks is spit, which is honestly a lot more tame than some of his other favourites, so it's not out of the ordinary for you.

You’re on your phone laying on your shared couch, your mind focused on the random cat videos coming up on your timeline & you think you can hear Jisung sigh & huff before throwing his phone to the side after turning it off before you’re then proven right when he dramatically splays himself along your thighs, laying on his back as his head lays on them, face looking up at you.

“y/nnieeee, gimme attention” he whines, pouting at you as his hands paw at your shirt, cupping your boobs from over the fabric, shaking them playfully & you tut.

“well when i was asking you for attention when you were playing with your guitar you shooed me away!” you reply, eyes darting down to the puffy cheeked man for a split second before looking back at your phone, but he snatches it & chucks it to the side.

“yeahhh but that was important, cat videos can wait.” he remarks as he sits up & turns so his back is against the back of the couch & pulls you with him & you let him, letting him pull you onto him until you’re now straddling him & you sigh, faking annoyance & he giggles to himself, his chubby cheeks in a smile.

“wan’ play, hard for you & you make me desperate” he purrs, his voice low & you can’t help but get a minge tinge. “i know it’s stabbing my thigh but my pussy is still aching from you breaking it earlier.” you giggle, playing with his soft hair & he leans into the touch before you playfully pull it so you can kiss him.

His soft tongue is against your own the second your lips connect, the both of you moaning softly into each others mouths & Jisung yet again shows you the new skill by pushing more of his saliva off of his tongue & into your mouth without even breaking the kiss & you hum before pulling away.

“you’re so hard sungie, your sex drive needs to be examined” you joke as you grind against him for a moment, his now shiny lips parted as be watches you.

“Hey! it’s not like this before i met you but i can’t help myself, help meeeee!” he pleads, his hands finding themselves on your waist to help you grind but you wriggle from his touch as you slide down his frame until your knees hit the floor, purposely showing your cleavage as you slide down & he swallows a moan, his eyes widened.

Jisung pulls down his trousers without you even having to ask, his sweatpants & underwear resting just above his thighs, giving you access before he slides down the couch just enough to help get himself into an easier position for your sake, his already leaking cock hitting against his honey skinned tummy with a harsh ‘smack’ sound & your mouth waters.

Jisung grabs the base & jerks himself off, multiple beads of precum leaking from the tip & you whimper at the sight of it & you lean forward & grab at his dick with your own hand so he removes his own & your tongue reaches to lick the precum off his tip, the slightly salty taste makes you hum like always & he whimpers as your hand tightens slightly before your lips wrap around his head.

Your tongue swirls around his full tip before retracting & you let a glob of saliva drip onto his member before you use the middle of your palm & swirl it around his tip & his toes curl in his socks before you use your now spit coated hand to jerk him off, before you use the tip of your tongue to glide over his very sensitive spot at the back of his cock which is facing you, connecting the tip & his length together & he lets out a squeak as his eyes shut & you smirk against him before u take more of his length into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks.

Jisung wraps his hand in your hair as you sink your head down to his base, you being mentally thankful that he has a perfect ‘boyfriend cock’ so you don’t have to completely break your jaw to give him good head, you’re just thankful he doesn’t treat your throat the same way he treats your pussy… most of the time.

You let your fingers cup his balls before you roll them in your fingertips, kneading the skin, finding the feeling of his just growing in hair oddly comforting & attractive & you roll your tongue out of your mouth as you let your throat retract around his cock as you swallow & jisung is already panting above you & you know what he’s wanting, he is just trying to hold himself back, but you can’t have that.

You bop your head up & down a couple of times & jisungs fist tightens in your hair & you bring your own hand up to land on top of his own hand & he gets the hint & pushes your head back down.

“can’t not fuck your face, t-tap my thigh when you want off” he pants, sweat already making his hair slightly greasy as he quiffs it out of his face as his eyes are struggling to not roll back into his skull, instead, looking down at you with glossy boba eyes & you can’t help but blush at the scene.

You hum around his dick, spit bubbling & escaping from the sides of your lips, completely coating & drenching his slightly trimmed pubes & he squeaks as he feels the vibrations of your voice shoot through his cock & he takes that as a ‘go ahead’ & he begins fucking into your mouth, at a slower pace at first to let you adjust but it doesn’t take long for him to get carried away.

You simply let your tongue glide over his cock every time he fucks into & then out of your mouth, gagging ever so often as your jaw starting to ache so you just resort to letting him fuck into you for his pleasure, the tip of your nose pressing against his pubes every time he does so, your chin & cheeks soaked with your saliva & jisung is going crazy.

“s-so sloppy, you’re so go-good to me, so messy” he cries out, his legs shaking starting to shake & his stomach muscles twitching as your fingers don’t give over on his full balls, his brain all over the place with pleasure, ‘slchk’ noises being the only thing filling the room almost louder than his own noises, which is flooding your panties more than they already were.

You tap his thigh & he pulls you off him to let you breathe & you blow all of the spit from your mouth onto his cock, a bit frothy & he rolls his head back, a bit dramatically in your opinion, but you don’t complain, if anything it’s cute in your head & not to mention also a huge compliment.

“Taste so good Sungie, cum f’me your balls are so swollen & twitchy, let go wanna swallow it” you purr through laboured breaths as you jerk him off with your hand again, before putting him back into your mouth & hollowing your cheeks, twisting your wrist for the part of his base you’re not sucking on, doing so in a fast motion.

“i am!! gonna cum, t-too good at this, s-so lucky to-fuck, to have you, p-please don’t stop, please please/fuck please!” he praises & begs mindlessly, tears threatening to leave his eyes & you swallow around him, his tip feeling every single part of your throat & before he can cry out another sentence, the word 'cumming' just word vomits from him instead as he is wailing & just a second or so later, thin ropes of salty cum is shooting into your mouth & you look up at him, just to see his head rolling around against the couch, too fucked out to look down at you anymore & you chuckle, your lips still around him.

You swallow everything he has to offer & you let go of his cock with a 'pop' noise & he finally looks at you & after seeing how hot you look like this, his brain fog pretty much completely clears up as he pretty much leaps onto you, almost falling as he does so because of his now soaked at the hem sweatpants as he pushes you so you're fully laying flat on the floor before he is kissing you, messily, tasting himself all over as he does so, before breaking the kiss & licking your own spit off your face.

"Hot." is all he mutters, before he nestles his face in your neck & you get a face full of his damp hair, but you couldn't be paid to care as your ears go red at his words, not even remembering the absolute state you're both in.

->Taglist & anon list are open!

@jisungml @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @kissesmellow21 @lixies-favorite-cookie @keshet2k @mikaelless @missystay @minniesverse

(if your name is NOT in grey, it’s because i couldn’t tag you :( )

[cryptidghostgirl]

CHUBBY! READER X ALASTOR

I'm soooo sorry that I'm requesting something else this just came to me and I needed your storytelling expertise to bring it to life 😢

ALSO ALSO ALSO this one has a trigger warning so please read with the thought that YOURE PERFECT!!!😤(if you write it)

OTAY OTAY soooooooooooo reader has been apart of the hotel for awhile and has developed a crush on Alastor from afar and the small instances they do cross paths but hesitates to approach him on her own because well we're shy and HES THE RADIO DEMON anyway reader doesn't have to worry about distance between them because Alastor is AVOIDING HER ALL ON HIS OWN 😯 AND somehow reader gathers the courage to approach Alastor but sees his relationship with Rosie (they're besties, platonic soulmates definitely) and thinks 'wow, she's so beautiful and...thin' and proceeds to lock herself away from everyone (SOLITUDE) and skips meals (starving herself), Alastor is the first to notice shes missin and pulling away but doesn't know how to approach her without stumbling over his words (i like to think that hes a heartbreaker to other women like his fans but with someone that he likes with real feelings hes fumbling in the dark because he could get rejected instead, i will die on the hill) so so so he hesitates to ask reader whats wrong till he hears her throwing up or she says something awful about herself and Alastor gets angry on her behalf and reader goes silent, only for Alastor to take a breath and tell her that 'shes hurting herself, for a shallow reason such as looks', and reader goes 'i thought you liked to watch others downfalls' and then hes like 'not your downfall, never you' 😔 reader starts to cry and shouts "im not Rosie', confused Alastor finally starts putting the pieces together and grabs reader hands and sincerely says "good, i wouldn't rosie anyhow, or anyone else for that matter', reader continuing to cry tells him to stop lying that this joke isn't funny and Alastor kissies her hand as says "whos joking? I only want you, your perfect" then then then slowly Alastor starts to help reader look at themselves in a more positive light [[fit this in somewhere???????Alastor tells reader why hes so close to rosie (he's clueless about reciprocated love so he goes to Rosie because canon that she knows matters of the heart...right?)]]

A/N as always i am obsessed with your request. Also I 100% agree with the assessment of Alastor's ability to talk to people he actually likes. I am literally so obsessed with this request. Also I am assuming from your previous comments you wanted the same bunny demon character?? Please forgive me if I am wrong but I did it for her (because I love her dearly and she is based of meeeee and I'm egotisticalllllll). Kisses bestie <3 <3

Downfall (Alastor x Chubby!Bunny Demon!Reader)

Paring: Alastor x Reader

Word Count: 4,076 (I got a little carried away)

Warnings: BODY IMAGE ISSUES!!! EDS!!!! I think that's it but they're in all caps for a reason so if you have ED issues maybe don't read this one??? It is hurt//comfort tho so maybe do???? Idk. If you get triggered by ed descriptions, don't. If having a fictional character tell you you're perfect the way you are and beg you to stop destroying yourself because they can't bear to watch would help you, do.

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List 

Alastor Master List

Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.

It had taken months. Months of wondering what he was like, of stolen glances, of furtive daydreams. Months of building up courage, of backing down, months of hoping and dreaming. It had taken endless encouragement from Angel, countless pages in her diary. It had taken a million deep breaths, ten thousand trembles of her hands. Months, it had taken months.

It wasn't like Y/n had never spoken to the man before. That wasn't really the issue. She wasn't scared of him, just scared. The simple idea of being alone with him was an intoxicating mixture of terror and utter bliss. Y/n didn't know how to handle it, she didn't know how to handle him.

Alastor was untouchable, nearly semi-divine in her eyes. Sure, he was fucked up, but they all were. At the end of the day, his facade was as easy to see through as a cheap paper crown from a Christmas cracker. Beneath the wide smile, the sharp teeth, the stories, Alastor was just a man. He cared deeply for the world around him, for the people around him and those in his life. No matter how hard he tried to disguise it, it always shone through to Y/n.

It wasn't like she had never spoken to Alastor before, she had just never spoken to him alone before. Every interaction they had ever had was as a part of the larger group of Hotel residents and staff. On the rare occasion they ran into one another in the hallway or happened to each be in the kitchen at the same time, Y/n froze up. Words turned to stones in her stomach and all she could ever seem to manage was a gentle nod, a shaky smile. It frustrated her to no end.

Finally, she had worked up the courage to talk to him. It was all Angel's idea really, she would never have had the thought to do such a thing on her own but his pushing had been relentless and at last, Y/n had agreed.

And it had taken months, months! This was her third attempt to go up to him. They had even lowered the stakes, Angel saying all she had to do was have a single normal conversation with the man and he would let her off the hook, stop his pestering and teasing. It was just her luck, really just her god damn luck.

Sir Pentious had informed Y/n that Alastor had left the hotel to see a friend, Charlie had given her the address of the cafe he had said he would be at should they need him. Everyone was all smiles, all encouragement. Y/n reminded herself to yell at Angel later for spilling her secret although, she guessed she shouldn't have expected anything else from the hotel's biggest gossip.

Putting on her favorite outfit, her hair all done up and makeup perfect, Y/n had slicked her ears flat against her head in determination and stepped out onto the streets of Pentagram City. It didn't take long for her to find the place, a sweet little cafe on the outskirts of Cannibal Town with white wrought iron chairs and a cheerful pink and purple sign. It hadn't taken her long to spot the bright red of Alastor's suit through the window either, standing out against all the muted purples and dark blacks of the other cannibals enjoying their meals within.

"It's fine. It's totally not weird that you're going up to him in a cafe he's having lunch in with a friend, that you.... oh my god Y/n!! He's gonna think you were stalking him! You should just go back and- no! You promised. Y/n, you can do this."

She took a deep breath, centering herself in that little core, that rod of who she was, that shot down the center of her being. Raising a closed fist to her chest, she shut her eyes.

"You can do this, Bunny." she reaffirmed, "You can do this."

Opening her eyes, she crossed the street. Her hand was inches away from the door's handle, her heart racing but set on what she was about to do, when Y/n noticed exactly who Alastor's 'friend' was.

Across the table from him, sipping delicately on a cup of tea, was the most beautiful demon Y/n thought she had ever laid eyes on. She had long, dainty fingers, thin and spidery, and the most perfectly proportioned body. She was tall, long legs sheltered by her skirt and a tiny waist that threw her hips and chest into contrast. The woman's hair was neat, tucked up beneath a wide brimmed hat. Her clothes were classy, her smile was bright and charming, the black holes of her eyes were... were... were everything. She was everything, everything Y/n wasn't.

Suddenly, the weight of her own body against her bones became all too real. She felt the urge to never be touched again, the same strange sickness of her youth sinking its teeth into the softness of her stomach, her thighs, her arms, all of her. Her hand lowered from the handle, Alastor laughing at something the woman had said to him. He seemed relaxed, more at peace than Y/n had ever seen the man before. If that wasn't love, she didn't know what was.

It took a second for the other residents of the Hazbin Hotel to realize the change. Y/n was good at this, she'd had practice. For years, she had worked to move past it all but the threat of a relapse had always hung over her head. It was her sword of Damocles, her fated demise.

Y/n retreated in to herself, she couldn't get the image of that woman out of her head. Poised, statuesque, thin. God, Y/n had never wanted anything more than she wanted to be thin. She wanted to rip fistfuls of flesh from her body, she wanted to wither away so only something beautiful remained.

Alastor was the first to notice. He had a soft spot for the rabbit demon who always seemed to be full of that soft, discrete joy and unending kindness. She was a more toned down version of Charlie. She was genuine and completely herself, no holds bared. She had such a hope, she had such a goodness, it made him wonder why she hadn't ended up in Heaven instead.

The truth was, behind the bravado and the grin, Alastor was scared of Y/n. He was scared he would touch her and she would rot away or worse, that she would run. She was just so good, so intrinsically wondrous, and he was the opposite. She was a fresh rose and he was the person coming haplessly along with a pair of gardening shears. She was radiant, she was carved fresh from marble, he was down bad.

Women had never been a priority or a problem for Alastor. Living and dead, they flocked to him. He knew his reputation was to blame, not to mention his looks. They could be fun for a while. Alastor saw charming them as a game, a good way to pass the time. This was different, Y/n was different. Alastor didn't know what to do so, he did nothing. He avoided her like the plague and when he couldn't, he practically ignored her, barley spared her a word.

Alastor was untethered, completely in the dark and so, he did what everyone does when they feel like that: he went to talk to his best friend. When he had gotten back to the hotel after his rather illuminating little chat with Rosie, Charlie had asked him if he had seen Y/n. It felt like divine chance, a cruel joke of fate, that the demon Princess would bring up the very source of his problems so soon after having at last pushed past his pride to ask for help.

When he had revealed the truth to the gang, that no, he had not in fact seen Y/n, they seemed deflated. There had been some sighs, some shrugs, shared glances he didn't understand and then everything had gone back to normal except, it wasn't quite normal.

Where Y/n could normally be found causing trouble, making mischief with the people who had so quickly become her friends since she had started her stay at the hotel out in the open, there was now a distinct lack of her jovial presence. She began taking her plates to her room at meals, showing up to group activities less and less, claiming she was tired or had a stomach ache. Alastor noticed every time he did manage to catch a glimpse of the marvelous and strange creature who had captured his affections so, she seemed utterly exhausted. Y/n was always bundled up, even on the warmest of days.

He wanted to go talk to her, wanted to ask her if she was okay. Alastor was worried -- genuinely worried -- about her. The only thing that stopped him from knocking every time he passed her perpetually closed door, was that he knew himself too well. He knew that the minute he entered, he'd lose his courage, that the words would become mush in his mouth.

It was pure chance, right place wrong time, that he heard it. Alastor had been following his normal routine, heading up to his radio tower for a broadcast after a group activity. Today had been Operation Navigation! As Charlie had dubbed it. She and Vaggie had built an obstacle course and everyone had a partner who was blindfolded and had to be guided through. When they got to the other end, the pairs had switched. Miraculously, Y/n had shown up to this event.

Alastor had watched her carefully, noting her sluggish movements and the way it took her a second to fully register what anyone was saying in a given moment. It was out of the ordinary and his worry only grew. He knew he was going to have to do something about it eventually but just didn't know how. Maybe it would require another visit to Rosie.

As he walked past the lobby bathroom, Alastor was pulled from his thoughts. The door was slightly ajar, sending shards of light out into the darkened hallway.

"Why isn't it working!"

Came the hushed yell of defeat. It was Y/n's voice, he'd know it anywhere. Alastor stopped walking.

"Why do I have to be..."

There was a sniff, the sound of something hitting the wall. Alastor realized it had been Y/n at the sound of fabric against the wallpaper. He could see her in his minds eye as she slid down the wall, pulling her knees into her chest.

"Why can't I just be skinny."

Y/n's words were muffled, soft and shaky.

"Why can't I just be pretty. Why do I have to be... to be..." her words were briefly broken by a sob, "why can't I just be good. I can't even fucking starve myself right. I wish..."

Alastor's body reacted before his mind could catch up, he knocked gently on the door. There was a little yelp of surprise from within, a few sniffs and some rustling fabric.

"Yeah?"

Y/n's voice trembled as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

"May I come in?"

Alastor heard the sharp intake of breath. It was too late to back down now. The silence was thick between them, it felt eternal.

"Okay." Y/n agreed at last, her voice small, and Alastor stepped into the room.

It was exactly how he had imagined it. Y/n was huddled on the floor next to the door, her knees tucked up under her chin and her arms holding her shins tightly. Alastor noticed that the thick, woolen sweater she had been wearing earlier had been tossed to the side, laying haphazardly beside the sink. Y/n sniffed again, trying to smile.

"Everything okay?" she asked and Alastor fixed his eyes back on her.

Y/n's eyes were rimmed with red. Her ears lay limply around her face which was stained with tears. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, she shivered.

"No. It's not."

She seemed a bit taken aback by his answer, not having grasped the reality of the cracked door earlier.

"I don't... what's wrong?"

"You are starving yourself." Alastor replied in a matter-of-fact voice.

Y/n's eyes went wide.

"Fuck... I... fuck!" she buried her face in her knees, "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Are you trying to die!?" Alastor asked,

He didn't mean to yell, he didn't mean to be this angry. Everything he said seemed to send shockwaves of regret through his body. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Are you... I just... are you stupid?!"

Y/n looked up at him again, her eyes wet with fresh tears.

"I-"

"You what." Alastor scoffed, "You want to be pretty?"

"I..."

"You want to be pretty so you lock yourself away? You make your friends watch as you... as you what, as you get thin? As you destroy yourself?"

She was crying now, truly crying. Alastor looked away, a hand to his head. He took a deep breath, everything was going wrong. When he looked at her again, her cheeks were flushed from a mixture of shame and hurt.

"I just..." he took another deep breath, sinking to his knees before her, "Why would you hurt yourself so badly for something as.. as shallow as your looks?"

Y/n sniffled, frantically trying to wipe away her tears.

"What, I thought you liked to watch other people's downfalls." she tried to shoot back at him but her words came out stuttering and broken through the thickly falling tears.

Y/n refused to meet Alastor's gaze. Everything was going wrong. She was horribly embarrassed, she felt like a butterfly and Alastor was the terror who had opened her chrysalis too soon. He wasn't supposed to see her like this, he wasn't supposed to see her now. He was only supposed to get the after. It was all for him, after all, wasn't it?

Except, Y/n knew the truth of the matter. Alastor had been the trigger but, these behaviors were too well engrained. She might not have known it then, but she'd been looking for an excuse all along. It was all for her, every inch of agony.

His heart dropped at her words. Was that what Y/n truly thought of him? It would make sense, it was the face he presented to the world after all. He had just thought... he had hoped... Rosie had said....

Rosie. That was the answer. She had told him to be honest, to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying such a prospect could be. She had said it was the only way they ever had the slightest chance.

Alastor reached a hand out gently, turning Y/n to look at him. Her skin was soft to the touch, the beating of her blood thrumming against his fingertips. With the utmost care he could muster in his clawed and rotten hands, Alastor wiped her tears away. He couldn't meet Y/n's eyes but heard her sniffle, watched as the flow of sorrow slowed.

"Not your downfall." he said, his words like quiet feathers falling through the air, "Never your downfall."

At last he met her trembling gaze, fear coursing hotly through him, mingling with his blood. She took a few short, stuttering breaths before bursting into tears once again. Alastor flinched slightly as her head fell forward onto his shoulder.

"But I'm not that woman!"

"Woman... what woman?"

"The one you were with at the cafe!"

"The one... Rosie?"

Y/n nodded, sniffiling slightly as she tried to calm herself down.

"You saw me with Rosie? How?"

"I went... I'd been working up all this courage and... I just wanted to talk to you and Charlie and Pen said you'd be there and... and... and I'm not Rosie!"

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He had been right all along, Rosie was the answer. With the air of someone who hadn't had much physical affection given to them in their life, or received any for that matter, Alastor slowly wrapped his hands around Y/n's shaking back.

"Good."

"What do you mean 'good'? She's so beautiful and she made you laugh and she's just... she's so beautiful and thin!"

"She is beautiful, and a lovely woman but, I don't want Rosie. Or anyone else for that matter."

Y/n's sobs redoubled, she began to struggle against his grip.

"Let me go! Stop lying, Alastor."

Alastor released Y/n from his grasp and she pushed herself back against the wall, utterly mortified and unable to stop. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away.

"Stop joking, it's... it's not funny."

"Who is joking? I..." Alastor took a deep breath.

Rosie had been right, it was terrifying. He hope she was right on the second part too, that it would be worth it.

"Y/n, have you seen yourself?"

"Yes! Why the fuck do you think I want to be anything else?!"

Alastor got to his feet, holding a hand out to Y/n.

"Come with me."

"No." she mumbled, scooting further away from him if it was possible.

Under another circumstance, he would have chuckled lightly, he would have found her reaction adorable. This was neither the time nor the place and so, summoning his shadows, he transported them both into the darkness of his room.

Y/n looked around, pulling herself to her feet.

"Where... where are we?"

"My room." Alastor sat down on the edge of his bed, "Come here."

Hesitantly, Y/n took a few steps forwards. Once she was in reach, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. The feeling sent sparks through his body, Alastor tried his best to ignore it. There were more important things than the pleasure of the moment. Y/n struggled against his grasp, the tips of her ears dragging slightly across his arms.

"Alastor! Let me go! I'm too heavy!"

"No, you're quite perfect actually."

"I don't want to be touched! I don't want you to... you're making me want to tear my skin off, please."

"No." his voice was firm.

"Please, just please let go of my waist at least."

To this, he relented, one of his arms falling loosely onto her lap as he held the other up, snapping his fingers. Shadow's flooded into the room, bringing with them a full length mirror. He felt Y/n tense in his grasp.

They came to a stop, setting the mirror on the ground before them. Y/n turned her head away, her eyes shut tight.

"Please stop, Alastor. This really isn't funny."

"Y/n."

"No."

"Y/n."

"No!"

Y/n, please."

She had never heard him say the word before. Slowly, she opened her eyes, craning her neck to look up at Alastor.

"I want you to see what I see when I look at you."

"You promise you wont be mean?" Y/n asked suspiciously after a moment.

"I pinky promise."

He had seen her do this before, with other residents of the hotel. A simple locking of pinky's was all it ever took to make a promise, to assuage her doubts, to show she cared. Y/n's eyes widened slightly. Slowly, she reached her hand out, locking her pinky with his. They shook their hands once, the way Alastor had seen her do it a thousand times before.

"Wait." Y/n said as he made to move his hand away, looking away bashfully, her cheeks a bright pink and her voice quiet, "Don't let go."

"Okay."

Taking a deep breath, she turned to the mirror. It was terrible, she felt bile rise in her throat.

"Y/n, you are so... every inch of you is perfect." Alastor took a deep breath, the way his voice trembled not escaping Y/n's notice, "You have... amazing legs. I know everyone's all obsessed with Angel's but, he has nothing on you walking around on those sticks. You're... you're all soft curves and lace. If you were made of anything, you would be satin. You are a nymph rising from the lakes, a wild maenad in the woods. Your eyes shine like true stars, not what we have here. Did you know rabbits were always my favorite animal?"

Y/n giggled slightly, her tearstained cheeks flushed pink.

"Well they were. They still are. Your ears are just to die for, dearest."

He felt her ears twitch slightly against his back at the comment and Y/n watched through the mirror as his smile softened at it's harsh edges.

"Your grace is what the Greeks wrote about. You... Y/n, the first time I set eyes on you, I felt like I was drowning." Alastor looked away, unable to meet her eyes even through the glass, "Like you were a siren and I was nothing more than a hapless sailor at your mercy."

"But you never talk to me."

"You never talk to me!"

Y/n laughed again, smiling a gummy smile.

"I don't have to talk to you to see who you are, Y/n." Alastor continued, his hand that was in her lap turning so his palm rested gently on her thigh, "You light up any room you're in. You are charming and clever and constantly on the look out for places you can instill your special breed of controlled chaos."

Trembling, he shifted his hand in Y/n's so he held hers, raising it to his mouth. The heat of his breath on her skin drove Y/n wild, her breath hitched.

"I am glad you're not Rosie, I don't want Rosie. I don't want anyone else except for you."

Alastor planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand and Y/n's smile only grew, her tears long forgotten now as she watched Alastor's reflection.

"You are perfect. Please, don't change yourself, don't hurt yourself, trying to be something else. I'd miss you."

Slowly, he let their still clasped hands fall into Y/n's lap.

"Do you see now?"

Y/n turned back to the mirror, her head tilted slightly to one side as she hummed in consideration.

"No." she admitted, "But I think I might be able to start."

"One step at a time." Alastor rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in comforting circles, "I'll be with you the whole way, if you'll have me."

He held his breath, waiting for her reply. Y/n met his eyes through the mirror, her brow furrowed.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Who is Rosie?"

Alastor could have laughed, he nearly did.

"She is a very old and dear friend. I was going to her for advice, that day."

"You? Needing advice?" Y/n paused before shaking her head, "Nah, I don't see it."

She laughed lightly at her own joke and Alastor smiled softly back at her.

"It was advice about you, actually."

Y/n turned herself in his lap, looking up at him with her legs on either side of his own.

"About me?"

"Y-yes."

He cursed himself internally. Alastor hadn't meant to stutter, she just looked too lovely sitting there and looking up at him with her pretty pink lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed.

"Well?" she asked expectantly.

"I..." Alastor felt the heat rising in his own cheeks and looked away, "well, I didn't know how to approach you."

"Wait, you were avoiding me this whole time?" Y/n laughed and Alastor nodded, "I thought I was avoiding you!"

"Wait, you were avoiding me?"

His gaze snapped back to hers and she laughed again.

"Yes! I was terrified to speak to you! You're so cool and hot and just... I'm not good at things like this!"

"You think I'm hot?"

"Is that all you got out of what I said?"

"Maybe."

They both laughed this time. Alastor's chest felt lighter than it hand in years.

"So," he began once they had both calmed down, "is that a yes?"

"To what?"

"To letting me... be... with you."

Y/n smiled, reaching a hand up to his cheek.

"That's a 'will you be with me?' I think actually."

----

Tags:

@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170

A/N Y'all, there were one or two times I almost wrote my name while doing this one. I've been writing x reader fics for eight years, this never happens to me anymore. I think I related a little too hard. I am x reader fic writing too close to the sun.

[yourlittlettoy]

FIRST “NEST” HIGHLIGHTS ✨

Just for the sake of using this blog like an actual blogging space 💁🏻‍♀️✨ let me tell you about how my first NEST went!!

For those of you that aren’t familiar, NEST is one of the biggest fetish gatherings in North America for us t-word enthusiasts! I’ve known about it since forever ago, and this may it was my first time actually attending. It was: everything I’d hoped it would be (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡ here are some highlights!

This gathering was probably one of the biggest I’ve ever been to in terms of the amount of friends I saw alone! There were pals from our Tumblr community, friends from Japan, everyone from my gathering friend groups, and lots of friends from my local community as well. It was really heaven to just be with all of my favourite people all at once and in one place (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡

The events were REALLY COOL! Definitely a gathering with one of the most comprehensive schedules I’ve ever experienced! I participated in as much as I could, but notably the squid games, auctions, and t-word-theatre (which is a big public t-word show where someone get’s got in front of an audience in a very theatrical way!) was super cool! Having said that…

I GOT KIDNAPPED!! Well, “napped” 😅 don’t worry, no real felonies here hahaha. When I applied to be ‘napped like back in the beginning of the year, I didn’t hear anything back at all about the process of how that was going. Knowing not every applicant ends up getting chosen, I didn’t let myself keep my hopes up. Long story short.. after I excitedly went to the t-word theatre event all pumped to watch someone get got… to my great surprise, that person was gonna be me lmao ‼️😱 I was kinda *taken* from my seat and tied to a chair in front of everyone, then a game show-dating show scenario played out with 3 bachelors behind a curtain answering questions (really funny and witty answers, might I add) that the show host threw their way 😆. Of course, then the host eventually asks the question “our bachelorette loves to laugh, how would you make her laugh?” … and basically I watched as all of them came through the curtain to come get me 😱 one by one…. And then !!! OF COURSE ALL THREE HAD TO COME AT ONCE 😱💀😵!!! And I couldn’t take it right so I was yelling “help meeee” hahaha ya know cause pooOOooOoOor meeeee 🤪😇. And the host was like… “sure I’ll help them” AND JOINED IN ON THE LERS SIDE 💀💀💀! ANYWAYYYY despite how extremely evil that was 😜🥺, it was 10/10 one of the coolest experiences of my life, I got an “I got napped” certificate AND it made me really happy when people approached me later saying they liked my scene (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡ THANK U NEST FOR CHOOSING MEEEE! 🩷

This was the first gathering I been to with a partner and he was beyond lovely and supportive and we didn’t struggle with feeling any kind of restrictions due to each other .. and this means a lot because I intend on going to gatherings for as long as I can and the fact that that won’t interfere with my love life is truly a dream come true for me :)

Oh, and I experienced getting t-worded by one of my most sadistic gal pals in a fully nylon body suit and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I think my soul left my body that day lmaoooo RIP ME

Those are the highlights!!! This post really is a summary but happy to share more details if there are any questions 😁 thank you for reading and for following along this lil journey with me <3 I adore and appreciate all of you here with me right now! We’ve come a long way 🥰 maybe see some of you next year!!! 👀😙 that would be amazing!

[its-a-me-mango]

OMG it’s SMG4 pointing at a really cool person!

(You’re one of my biggest inspirations hiiiiii)

wAAAAT DA HELL??? ME??? I'M JUST A LIL GUYYYYY, I'M JUST A LIL DUUUUDE, I'M SFKJGHBSKJFGHSFGH

SOBBING AND CRYING HI HELLO, THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANYTIME I GET CALLED AN INSPIRATION TO SOMEONE I GAIN 1000 YEARS TO MY LIFE EXPECTANCY AND I GAIN INFINITE STRENGTH AND MOTIVATION, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO MEEEEE

Also your work is epic as well, running around you weeee :3

[cosmerelists]

Favorite Musicals of Each Order of the Knights Radiant

We’ve already considered their favorite boardgames. But what about when it’s time to go to a musical? Which musical is preferred by each order?

1. Skybreakers: Les Misérables

They think Javert is the protagonist.

Szeth: Is it not strange that the musical continues for so long after the death of the protagonist?

Nale: Ah, but it is only thus that we see the real tragedy.

Nale: As all of the lawbreakers go on living, without punishment, due the the lawman not being willing to fulfill his duty.

Joret: It’s so horrifying.

Cali: Yes, hence the title.

2. Bondsmiths: West Side Story

It’s about two warring gangs being brought together.

Dalinar: Although it is sad, it is nice that it ends with all of the previously estranged people bonding over their loss.

Navani: And it really is through music that two warring sides can be brought together--perhaps even feel love for each other.

Dalinar: Yes. 

Dalinar: Wait, what? 

3. Edgedancers: Little Shop of Horrors

Or at least, it’s Lift’s favorite.

Lift: I dunno why Wyndle doesn’t like it--it’s about a plant!

Lift: A hungry plant too, so it has something in common with both of us!

Wyndle: I--

Wyndle: Never--

Wyndle: That--

Wynde: IT WAS SO HORRIFYING, MISTRESS!!!

Lift: It’s kinda in the title, dude.

4. Stonewards: The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

They were surprised at how invested they got.

Badali: It may not be warfare, yet the efforts of these children are so inspiring.

Zu: They truly do fight until there is only one standing.

5. Elsecallers: A Little Night Music

Jasnah just thinks it’s neat.

Jasnah: I have to respect the effort of composing each song in 3/4 time.

6. Lightweavers: Phantom of the Opera

It’s about art, tortured souls, disguises...

Gaz: I gotta feel bad for the Phantom.

Shallan: What, because his love for Christine is doomed?

Vathah: Because it would suck to live in a sewer?

Gaz: Well sure.

Gaz: But also that one-sided mask.

Gaz: He must always feel like there’s something there in the darkness, something just out of his sight.

Shallan: ...

Vathah: ...

Gaz: N-Not that I would know anything about that, ha ha!

7. Truthwatchers: Lion King

They went for the costumes and ended up being  blown away by the story.

Rlain: If Simba had just told the truth about his father’s death, all of that could have been avoided.

Stump: Yeah, well, kids are pretty stupid sometimes.

Renarin: Although by running away, Simba did get to be raised by two awesome gay dads, so that’s nice!

Stump: ...

Renarin: What?

8. Willshapers: Scarlet Pimpernel

It’s about rescuing innocent (?) aristocrats from being imprisoned and guillotined!  

Eshonai: It is truly inspiring to see a group of humans working so hard to free other humans before their unjustified deaths.

Venli: That Madame Guillotine song is really catchy though.

Eshonai: Yeah, you almost can almost understand the killing there.

9. Dustbringers: Wicked

They appreciate the overall message.

Malata: Yeah, there really are two sides to every story!

Ral-na: And just because a power is popularly deemed destructive, that does not mean it is so.

10. Windrunners: Also Wicked

Although their reasoning is...different.

Bridge Four, in their barracks: SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME / LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY

Bridge Four: AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY / EVERYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY!

Bridge Four: AND IF I’M FLYING SOLO / AT LEAST I’M FLYING FREEEE

Bridge Four: TO THOSE WHO’D GROUND ME / TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM MEEEEE

Bridge Four: TELL THEM HOW I AM DEFYING GRAVITY / I’M FLYING HIGH, DEFYING GRAVITY!

Kaladin (wiping away a tear): It’s just such a good song.

[mimpinightmare]

Fandom question aaaaa:

What moment in Supa Strikas & Rookie Season made you fangirl the hardest?

OH??? A Supa Strikas Fandom Question???

FOR MEEEEE????~~~

(Thank you @alsoamalthia for the fandom question! You're like... the first person to ask me, in my 'Ask Me Anything Box'-)

"What moment in Supa Strikas & Rookie Season made you fangirl the hardest?"

OH GOD! WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN MYSELF FOR THIS FRANCHISE?? BECAUSE THERE SO MANY- (So I hope me having multiple answers is fine-)

(Tad bit' Spoilers for Rookie Season in some of the Questions- Nothing grand or anything for the plot, just things mention in Rookie Season)

Well, for starters, one of the things that make FANGIRL, REAL HARD is just seeing the Supa Strikas boys, or any of the Super League team players having tender moments, like just hanging out or having a bro moment together. Multiple times in show makes me 'heart warmed' by just seeing Supa Strikas just being there for each other.

Like, in "Own Ghoul S3E3", where Big Bo was bothered by his past and terrified to tell the guys what went down between him and Spike Dawson, but Dancing Rasta and the others ensured him they're be there for him. Or something like in "Man in the Iron Tank Mask S5E2", where Klaus was insecure being in the roll of a Supa Strikas player, that he thinks he needs to become a Superhero to prove himself to be someone. And the guys were REALLY SUPPORTIVE in that moment! Dancing Rasta saying Klaus is always a hero every time he plays soccer with them, and North making a point that Iron Tank is TERRIFIED of Klaus' skills, that they need to think of a plan to stop him. (When I watched this episode, I was REALLY WORRIED how will it end, because Klaus mostly is the center of the joke in most episodes and I was scared the others might blame his ego or self-doubt for his actions, which Klaus is the episode CLEARLY needs some words of affirmation and support from the guys. I'm glad they Validated him in the end! :D ) And in "The Perfect Match S7E8" when Shakes got dogpiled from the guys and Dancing Rasta says "Teammates are closest of all!". Like, THAT'S CUTE! YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU AT LEAST SMILE!!! Sure, the guys sometimes bicker and fight, I'm not denying that, but when they do have a moment, IT'S THE SWEETEST THING!! I SQUEALED INTERNALLY AT THEM BEING BROS!!

There's not alot of 'Bro Moments' when it comes to the other teams (Is mostly either Technicalli or Iron Tank, although Iron Tank's 'Bro Moments' are mostly insulting each other-) But when it happens, it makes me happy. :) Like, pick ANY Technicalli episode around 'Season 3' to 'Rookie Season', there's chances of the guys are supporting each other, despite Toni Vern's treatment towards them. There's also this really short moment in "Dooma's Day S3E13" I really like, where Skarra scored for the team and Automatic, Dingaan and Dooma was celebrating with him. And you can clearly see Skarra wasn't sure how to feel at the moment, by he gives in and joins with them. I know it's short and in the end of the episode, there's havoc ensuing. But when I rewatched the episode, that's the few moments I saw from Skarra actually seems like he feels loved and fits in (without being a 'Bad Boy'). Especially knowing more of the context from 'Rookie Season', he probably never had something endearment in a long time since 'Rookie Season'... It's not much, but I take moments like these to HEART! ✨💜💛💜💛💜💛💜✨

Other than that, I get REALLY excited when there's little scene where you can miss them if you weren't paying close enough intention. And sometimes it cause me to speculate VERY DAMN SCENE IN THE SHOW- (But it's fun! Never regret this mind of mine~)

Like... DID YOU KNOW, in "How To Get a Header, In the Super League S3E8", there's a brief moment where North Shaw has a Barka FC jersey WITH HIM???? When I first notice that back in 2021, I thought to myself:

"BRO, WHO GAVE YOU THAT JERSEY?! WHICH BARKA FC PLAYER GIVE YOU THAT??!! I NEED TO KNOW!"

Like I was feuding with that particular scene in general- 😭😭

Or that short scene in "Broken Record S6E7" where LIQUIDO IS SHAKING SHAKES' HAND???? LIQUIDO IS SHOWING GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP?!?!?! I JUST KNEW THIS LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO?!?!?!?!!?

And this little scene in "Live and Kicking S4E3" where you can briefly see 'Rock Rockin' Howar' (not sure how to spell his name-) the Motivational Trainer back in "Dribbler on the Roof S3E10" where he works for Sheik. Now he's working FOR MS. ALTIVO??!!??!! I guess he's meant to work with powerful people-

Speaking of Speculating, I've been analyzing non-stop with this show- I love just thinking of ideas that would fit into the context it was given to the audience and I just analyze it, piece by piece, like not a sane person-

Like in "Hypno-Test S2E10", where Rasta claims him and 'Old Chuck T. Chipperson go WAY back!' And I NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN??!??! So, were they teammates before they join the Super League?? Were they Colleagues??? (YOU CAN'T PUT THAT IN THERE AND NOT TELL US, WRITERS!!! 😭) I've been fixated by that piece of dialogue for AWHILE-

Also, in "Score To Settle RS E6" where it shows Thor being all emotional, singing about his feelings and got angry when he caught off side- So, it's canon then? Thor has been struggling with, not only his anger issues, but also his masculinity. I've always thought that Thor is the softest one out of the buff guys, and was struggling with his gentler side because of the hyper-masculinity environment in Iron Tank. (Hope in the future, if there will be more seasons being made, I like to see Thor embracing his soft side, like the CHAD HE IS! >:D )

And in "Total Replay S5E12" where when Shakes (and then Supa Strikas as a team) was playing against Legendary Football Players in the simulation, every football team (even Colossus FC) have a player to represent them... EXCEPT FOR 'INVINCIBLE UNTED'.

Huh, I WONDER 'WHY'???~

(There's seen Invincible United' flags from the audience in the simulation, but I double checked that there's indeed, no 'Invincible United player' there.)

("COACH! VINCE! You have some EXPLAING to do!")

(This is just an excuse to tell you my thought process~ :)))) )

(OKAY, THIS IS THE LAST ONE, AND I'M DONE RAMBLING-) Other things that make me Fangirl HARDDDD, is Dingaan. Short answer-

LONG ANSWER is that I just LOVE THIS MAN WITH ALL MY HEART!!! When I came back to the fandom this May this year, I really thought Klaus would be my favorite (HE STILL IS, JUST NEXT TO DINGAAN-). But, MAN! That guy grab my attention. I've always have a soft spot for him back in 2021, BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CAME OVER ME TO HAVE SUCH A FIXIATION OVER HIM NOW-

Maybe is the silliness he brings when he shows up on screen? Maybe is because deep down his a 'Heart of Gold' Guy, who so happens to be in a very antagonistic team.

Or maybe I relate to him in a personal level, where he shows signs of neurodivergence and people around him would take advantage of that and his kindness. And when they're finished with him, they will think he's stupid for following their plans and use his loyalty to gain more benefits for themselves. And will underestimate him because of his "stupidity", when actuality he's more capable than people would realize. And also gets ridiculed for being himself and his interests because they think is "stupid" or "silly". And deep down he is actual a sweet guy and wouldn't hurt a fly, but unfortunately under circumstances, he could only obey under the abusive hierarchy in the system he is in. And the only thing he can show to people is his 'Aggressiveness", that is also been taught to him, under that hierarchy, and is semi-rewards him if he follows it accordingly, next to 'Doing your job Right'. But they won't award his achievements, because the system is meant to make you inferior than the HigherUps. And Dingaan is trap, probably not knowing, he himself is not going to be seen as equal to them because of his status and neurodivergence, and will punish him if he slips once. And when he shows him being himself, he will get punish, because being his neurodivergent self is not the standard in the system and they will "correct" him, like they want him to be.

.... No idea why I like him so much, but HE'S MY BEAUTIFUL BOY, AND I WOULD PROTECT AND DEFEND HIM IN MY HONOUR! (I will one day make a Analysis Post dedicated to Dingaan. YOU'LL SEE!!)

I know I don't talk about him much here, and only show drawings of him here, like 3 times. But behind the scenes, he's the few things when it comes to Supa Strikas is on my mind. And I've grown appreciation for Dingaan as days goes by. He's on my mind SO MUCH, I rewatch episodes of Supa Strikas he's BARELY IN- (NO, LITERALLY!! I rewatched "On Klaus Inspection S6E8" so many times, JUST TO SEE DINGAAN AT THE END- AND IT'S A KLAUS FOCUS EPISODE😭😭😭) (I still see the episode for Klaus, but is MOSTLY for Dingaan- 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️)

(EDIT, BEFORE I FORGET-) Credit:

(I think I should credit where I got Dingaan's Full name from and the reason I'm full of happiness to know his full name now-)

Credit to @strika-archyvez for finding it out and sharing Dingaan's full name to the world!

As well as @yanxioustrikas for making a dedicated 'Invincible United Headcanon' Post of it, sharing canon names of the players and her Headcanons of them as well. Please CHECKOUT Part 2 of her 'Invincible United Headcanon' Post. As well checkout her other parts of the series! :)

⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑⁓⁑

AND I'M DONE- DEAR GOD, This took 3 hours- Thank you again to @alsoamalthia for the fandom question! It was really FUN writing this!! (AND I'M SOOOO SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING SOONER FOR 2 WEEKS- 😭😭 I was busy at the time and was working on another Supa Strikas related work that I'm also writing. Was burned out from the writing that I need to find my groove again-)

If you finished reading this far, thank you for the patience to read this LONG post. Maybe, I got ALITTLE carried away with the answers, when it's just a simple question- Regardless, hope you had fun reading this, and hope you have a great day and tomorrow!!

Thank you again for reading!!!

(EDIT: I think I misread the question.... DAMN MY UNDIAGNOSED NEURODIVERGENCE!!!)

- MimpiNightmare

[jungwonie-bae]

I think I’ve fallen deeper ･゜ﾟ･.｡.｡.･*.｡.･

Sequel to pt 1 - how could my day be bad when I’m with you ♪

genre- fluff, f2l , riki x fem!reader, high school au, riki is your neighbor

word count- 1.3k 【1326 words】

warnings- pinch of angst, mostly fluff. Jealously…? Grammar errors and kissing

a/n- lots of people liked pt 1!!! They all requested me for a pt 2 tysm!! <333

♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪

The bus ride felt way too short for riki’s liking. The honk of the bus driver signals that this was their last stop. It wakes you up immediately and you rub your eyes.

Riki looks at you fondly, but you don’t notice. “Alright let’s get up.” You tiredly say while trying to stand.

“woah!” You lose your balance- but something-more like someone catches you. You look up to see riki grabbing onto your waist, and sheepishly smile.

the position your in is awkward- your hands on his chest and his on your waist, steadying you. His cheeks flush red, and you mirror him. You quickly get off of him, mumbling a quiet sorry but loud enough for him to hear. Your heart was beating as fast as ever. You put a hand over your heart to calm it down.

“be careful next time, and stand up slowly.” Riki remarks.

While you two get off the bus, he scolds you for not being careful- and if he didn’t catch you would’ve gotten a bruise of some sort.

“it’s not that serious, and besides- look, I’m completely fine.” You stare annoyed at him.

“okay, well I’m just warning you,” he mumbled. You reach your house, and say goodbye to him as he mimicked your motions and walks to his home.

-

you can’t seem to focus on your homework. Riki was on your mind. No!! I can’t like my best friend again, that your ruin our friendship! There’s no way he would like me back anyways right? You think. You slap yourself on the face lightly snapping out of those thoughts. “ I need to finish my work…” you mumble.

a few hours later after you’ve showered and cleaned yourself up, you stretch. “Finally.” You say once you finished your last assignment. You check your phone, to see it was- 1 am?!? You see that you have a few messages from riki.

riki<3: y/nnnnnn

riki<3: are you ignoring meeeee ☹️

riki<3: or are you sleeping

riki<3: I see your bedroom light on 😑

you: I was doing hw sorry :/

you: I put my phone on silence

*read*

just then, you get an incoming FaceTime call. You accept it, and a sideways riki pops up on the screen. He’s lying down on his bed tucked into his sheets. You chuckle slightly and walk over to you bed and sit down. You lie against your headboard and turn on the lamp next to you.

riki thinks you look so pretty right now, the lighting of the lamp illuminating your face, your hair slightly still damp, and your eyes shining. “hey.” His deep voice rumbles.

You smile. “hi.”

he smiles back. He looks absolute angelic. Hair falling a bit over his eyes, cheek pressed against his pillow cutely. You want to squish his cheeks, but you haven’t gotten to that stage where you are that close with each other.

you start the conversation by asking him about anything new, and then telling a the same about you.

you and riki talk all night, laughing from time to time, and then hanging up- not before exchanging good nights and little waves, then falling asleep. You think- no you know, you have fallen in love with him once again. Your feelings have been buried deep inside your heart and are finally starting to resurface.

-

The next day, you feel energized somehow, though only getting around 2 hours of sleep.

you put on your uniform, put on some light makeup, and tie your hair up. You decide to curl your bangs today, to look cute. You smile at yourself in the mirror, and walk to the kitchen to make a piece of toast.

once the toast pops out of the toaster, you shove it in your mouth while putting on your shoes and looping your bag over your shoulders. You walk out and see riki waiting outside his door on his phone.

“riki! Let’s go!” You shout happily. He looks up from his phone and smiles. You catch up with him and walk to the bus stop together. Once again, you two share the infamous earbuds.

-

at school, you two share only 1 class together which was a bummer. Riki knew it was always a one chance to pass notes to each other. You wouldn’t even see each other in the hallways until after school. You had always taken extra classes for it to look good on your college application and for your strict parents.

riki passes a note to you at the end of class saying, “meet me at the roof top after school.” and walks away like nothing had happened. You were pretty nervous. Did he get a girlfriend? Was he going to move schools and leave me? All these bad thoughts clouded your head until your best friend wonyoung told you class was over. You snapped out of it and packed your things up.

-

After all your classes were over, you ran up the stairs huffing and puffing to get to the rooftop. You opened the door and look around.

“y/n? What are you doing here?” Jake asks.

“oh- riki asked me to come here,” you answer politely. You try to walk away but Jake then says “can I have your number?”

you decline, and you said you weren’t interested. Finally, Jake lets you go understanding.

You see riki leaning over the railing watching the scene unfold before him. You approach him quietly.

“riki?” You ask. He smiles slightly. He looks everywhere but you. You sense that something is off. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” You question curiously. Riki glares at jake.

he suddenly takes your hands in his, and gulps.

“y/n,” he sighs. “I’ve been thinking about doing this for the longest time.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

“you’re scaring me, just say it, it’s okay.” You assure him.

“Okay, I’m sorry, but I like you so much that it hurts.”

your eyes widen, not expecting that answer. You thought it would be bad news. Your eyes relax, and you take your hands away from him. He looks up scared for his life, that you’d reject him- but instead he gets pulled into a bear hug.

“You don’t need to be sorry. If you are, then I’m also sorry for liking you.” You mumble into his ear. He widens his eyes and smiles. His eyes water up as he hugs you back.

“thank god. I thought you were going to reject me and go with Jake.” He sobs. You pat his back comfortingly,

“no dummy, I could never. I only have eyes for you, and you only.” You smile.

he pulls away from the hug and looks at you fondly. “So are we dating now?” His boxy smile appears. You wipe is tears away from his cheeks. Suddenly the atmosphere changes.

you nod. He then cradles your face and you lean into his touch. He lean in closer and closer. “ may I?” He asks, a few centimeters away. You nod a bit too quickly, and you feel his plush lips on yours.

You smile against his lips. When he pulls away he pecks you again. And again and again. “I could do this forever.” He mumbles between them. You giggle and he pulls you into his embrace. You both smile at one another like idiots. Somewhere else on the rooftop, sunghoon says to heeseung, “you owe me 20 bucks.”

bonus!:

The next day on the bus, it became a routine to share earbuds. Riki give you a peck on your cheek and you blush. You do they same back to him and he mirrors your expression.

when you come to school, you come hand in hand with no other than your boyfriend riki. Whispers go around. “Are they dating now?” “That was expected anyway.”

you see at the corner of your eye, sunghoon cheering with a 20 dollar bill in his hand.

a/n- this was so fun to make!! Tysm for making it to the end! I hope you like it 😙 I got a little carried away..

[kaziwi]

Usopp, 19? Hehehhe

AHHH i was hoping someone would request Usopp with this hehehehehe, I hope you enjoy!!!

Link to Event

“You’re a horrible liar.”

Character(s): Usopp

WC: 547

It was the PERFECT gift. The best possible gift anyone could ever buy, and you were able to snatch it before anyone else. A few islands ago, while shopping with Usopp, he had mentioned a new set of super rare paints that were going to be released soon. He had expressed to you that he really wanted them, but there was a chance you'd be out at sea when they released, and basically every artist wanted them, so there was no chance he'd ever get them.

Well you just proved him wrong because YOU GOT THEM. You'd heard from the last island that they would be in stock at the next island...but only for a few days. So...as soon as you docked on the island you told everyone you wouldn't be back till later, causing a bunch of questioning stares. You RAN to the nearest art supply store and bravely FOUGHT your way through to get the paints (you had waited for like 3 hours for them to restock).

By the time you returned to the Sunny, the sun was setting. There was a good chance dinner was over, but you weren't worry since you were sure Sanji saved you a plate. You figured you would sneak off to your bed, hide the paints under your covers, and while Usopp was busy you'd quickly wrap them and give them to him. A simple easy plan to follow. Simple and easy.

What you didn't account for was running into Usopp on the way to your room. Great!!!!!!!!!

"Y/N!! There you are, you missed dinner. I know Sanji probably hid your food somewhere in the kitchen so Luffy doesn't find it, so don't worry about that-" he was going to continue rambling on, when he noticed you hiding a bag behind your back, "What's in there?" he asked.

Shit. You didn't think this out.....

"Um, well its nothing!!"

"Come onnn show meeeee," Usopp whined, "Is that why you were gone all day? What is it?"

You needed to come up with a lie so believable that even the great God Usopp, captain of 8000 men, basically the king of the liars, would be fooled.

"Its super SUPER rare treasure that I got from fighting a scary paint monster!!!! But you can't look at it cause it's mine!' You shouted.

WHAT WAS THAT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT!!!! Literally that was the worst possible lie you ever could have come up with.

It was silent for a good minute till Usopp burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard that he had to clutch his stomach. Great.

"You're a horrible liar," Usopp said in between laughs, "Maybe leave the lying to me, alright?"

Your face was beet red as you sighed and accepted that the surprise was ruined.

"I was going to surprise you with these..." you said, slowly pulling out the paints, "But since that was ruined, here's what I got you."

You could see how his jaw dropped from the sight of the paint. Literally. It hit the floor.

"How-HOW DID YOU GET THESE!!!!!!!!!!"

To say Usopp was happy was a understatement. If it wasn't for the 10000 thank yous and the new gadget he made for you that let you knew he was grateful, his newest story about the brave Y/N and how they saved the great captain Usopp from the evil paint monster made your heart melt.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 2 thoughts

woohoo! we are back for another s2 moment! each night i do my duolingo and then have mulder and scully time <3

so we open on a boat which is already awful. boats are lowkey horrific. and something grabs a man working on the sewage and pulls him under. what the hell! worst case scenario on MANY fronts

then we see our good friend mulder who is listening to audio recordings. and boy was this a scene, because he had sunflower seeds everywhere, cartons of takeout scattered, a million empty cans and cups, and a page of little doodles. all while he sits in the dark.

i figured perhaps this was the squalor of the single man apartment, but no! someone opens a door and light pours in, and tells him he has to leave and someone else will take over his case. and that poor man gets forced into his disgusting space. truly the king of not giving a fuck. please try and give one fuck for me mulder

skinner moves him to a murder case in new jersey and he's all "but why did skinner want MEEEEE"

anyway he goes into the sewers, which are thankfully now free of eugene tooms due to the hard work of that one escalator... everybody say thank you escalator... and he finds a body and says send that back to the FBI

mulder busts into skinner's office to yell at him while he was IN A MEETING oh mulder!!! i get ur mad but have some decorum! he's like WHY are you wasting my time! well mulder if you want to work your way back up the ladder i think screaming at ur boss is not a good place to start!

(we also see that skinner's first name is walter and that he has a picture of bill clinton on the wall which i know made sense at the time but in 2024 it's just really funny. there's old willy looking over business)

cutscene to mulder Pondering in the dark and look! enter our dear friend scully!

"is this seat taken?" she asks "no, but i should warn you i'm experiencing violent impulses" he replies. "well, i'm armed, so i'll take my chances" she answered, and i audibly said "AWWW" <3 how sweet

he says he wants to leave the bureau! but she is his only reason to want to stay! gasp! we are gonna have to unpack that later!

she's like but you have a body right...? can i see the body....? can i pls pls pls pls be involved in ur case?

girl's night: autopsy edition! this body was quite decomposed and it had me wondering how exactly they film these scenes, and while i was pondering the process of making a prop body, we hear a loud thunk of scully removing the dude's rib cage to which i nearly fainted but we were Fine it's okay

and i'm holding my breath trying to deal with seeing this dude's insides when we get a WORM JUMPSCARE crawling about in his corpse

back in new jersey we see more sanitation workers and another man getting pummeled by the sewer beast... have we considered giving these men a raise?

the man has a nasty wound and i wrote "i am not built for this" in my notes but mulder strolls into the doctor's office while he's being checked out to investigate... we see the wound that the sanitation guy thinks is a snake that got into the sewers... and i'm thinking that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough about sewers to dispute that information

scully calls and he has to hang up and he gets ANOTHER call and picks up like "scully not now >:(" BUT THE GAG IS... it isn't her... it's some guy saying he has a friend in the FBI....... um

scully has mulder come down to the lab to show off the worm she found and give the audience a nice PSA to not eat raw meat! thank you dr. scully! we then get some worm facts and she seems pleased

BUT MULDER IS MEAN and he accuses her of being responsible for the phone call and she looks so hurt! she says she wouldn't betray his confidence by talking about him wanting to leave! mulder i get that you're in your questioning era but literally one episode ago she picked up your mostly dead body from a jungle compound so?? let's be rational here???

the next scene involved blood coming out of sanitation man's mouth and mostly what i wrote at this point was a few variations of "AUGH" "i cannot look" and "cannot handle this"

at the sanitation plant they capture whatever this Thing is and oh my. well. all i can really think of are those fake mermaids. you know the barnum fake mermaid hoax? or is that too 19th century niche? well either way, it looks like that but Worse. and equipped with suckers. it's a gnarly beast to gaze upon and i wrote more "AUGH"s here

cutscene to scully on a computer reading worm facts. back when you used a big ol computer to research creatures. i miss the 90's (disclaimer: i was not alive for them at all)

mulder lets her see the creature (which they have put in a mental hospital?) and she is SO excited to see this sort of beast BUT she figured out it was connected to the first attack because someone slipped a magazine article with a hint under her door!!!! looks like there really is someone on the inside...

she also says "i'd consider it more than a professional loss if you decided to leave" WAHHHHHHH <- me crying like a baby at this line

mulder's sitting in skinner's office like a kid stuck in detention and skinner says they're gonna prosecute the worm monkey baby thing and i nearly cried at the mental image of putting that beast on trial. skinner was like "you want to put it in the zoo?" I fear that's far more reasonable.....????? like how is he gonna testify he's WORM MONKEY BABY THING

mulder is again very pissed off and tells skinner that they could have saved the second man (who died in the shower while i was looking away from his bleeding) because he had agents who could have handled it but he shut the x files down and skinner is like. i know. but i was just following orders... tea....

okay so i THOUGHT the worm monkey was baby sized but now they're taking him somewhere else and he is full man sized... but he breaks out of his restraints, we hear a gunshot, and he escapes into a toilet... NO, i yelled to the sanitation worker on my screen, THE WORM IS INSIDE (he couldn't hear me)

mulder's at the scene and gets another mysterious phone call telling him he CANNOT mess this case up because there needs to be undeniable proof the x files must come back... okay no pressure!

so the worm monkey is somewhere in the sewer plant and scully calls like "i think the little worm we found was a baby and it's looking for a place to lay its eggs so we CANNOT let it escape"

(mulder and another worker go into the sewers without any sort of worm monkey handling equipment, idk i was thinking a shotgun might be appropriate here. like what did they think they were gonna do? wrestle it?)

the other worker falls in so NATURALLY our hero mulder (who is still a hero even if he has been cranky af lately) jumps in after him

and mulder GUILLOTINES the worm monkey in what can only be described as an average fox w 🔥🔥

at the end we see scully and mulder once again meet on a public bench in the dark, where she shares that the genetic testing proved that this thing was actually a mixture of human and worm that came from radioactive waste at chernobyl??? so. that's fucked up. haven't they suffered enough.

(but i like that this is a monster made possible by humans and yet still very real, even if that seems... an unlikely story... still, for dana scully's sake i'm happy this is something that can be proved by Science)

((although i hate to know what the implications are for the chernobyl dogs in this universe...))

we end with a shot of worm monkey baby, who has been split in half, re-opening its eyes. now i do think sea worms can sometimes grow back so this isn't SHOCKING. but it is displeasing nonetheless.

overall, listen; mulder, you've had it rough. they've slashed your life's work and you doubt reality. but man. clean your desk up. be nice to scully. skinner is clearly on ur side. i need to shake his stupidly tall frame and knock some sense into him. that beautiful woman wants to tell you worm facts and you should be writing it all down intently.

(good angst though, love that she's the only reason he wants to stay. and love her little autopsy time <3)

[ayyyez]

I GOT YOU BESTIE!!

Hcs of Kuroo and other haikyuu boys trying their Very Best to confess to their crush. Who has a whole speech planned out and fumbles it as soon as he's standing in front of his affections? Who is a stuttering mess? Who can't make eye contact and needs the crush to piece out what's going on?? (Other than Kuroo ofc, the sweetie)

Good luck on your writing spree <3

a/n: ain't nobody got meeeee like youuuu got meeeeee <3 HELLOOO sirr yes my hotmess fumbles the bag Kuroo is coming up! Along with a couple other favs for your viewing pleasure <3

Tags: confessing to crush, fluff, blushing mess characters

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou, Iwaizumi Hajime, Bokuto Koutarou w/honourable mentions at the bottom

Kuroo Tetsurou

Wants to be the cool, calm and collected man who can smooth talk his way into your heart and have you laughing at his well thought out jokes right up until the moment he has the perfect opportunity to ask you out. All so smooth and suave.

Reality though is a harsh mistress to Kuroo. He's a mess. A hot mess. He's all blushes and outbursts when he tries talking to you. Those topics he planned on talking to you about? They come up as garbled words and strung together sentences that reach every octive in his range.

When he can manage to talk to you normally it's only to embarass himself or say something that makes you laugh at him, not with him AT HIM. Definitely the one getting hit in the face with a volleyball the second you walk up to him type embarrassment.

'You okay Kuroo?' 'Mhmm definitely.' 'It's just your face is bright red and your nose is bleeding from where the volleyball hit you.' 'Oh yeah happens all the time.' 'You get hit in the face all the time?'

Definitely not his finest play it cool moments. But it's very endearing. Along with his blurt out words just to start conversations with out because he can't bear the thought of you walking by without talking to you first.

The sweet thing is though he doesn't let the embarassment he feels stop him. He just grins, blushing cheeks and all and keeps running head first through it all because you are worth it.

Oh and when he does get to that confession after all the failed attempts before with that BIG SPEECH he has planned? It's gone now. Head empty no ones home. Only you there in front of him watching as he stands there wide eyed and panicking trying again to string a sentence together.

You have to be the one to work it out. Something along the lines of 'Alright I'll go out with you.' to make it easy on him or if you're uncertain and want to really push him through it. 'Are you asking me out?' to which HE FINALLY manages to get a 'Yes. Please um, me?' which doesn't make sense but you get it. 'Yeah, okay.'

How could you not? He's an adorable mess. A dork in love. This also kind of breaks the spell of not being able to communicate with you and you can finally have more of a normal conversation with him again.

Iwaizumi Hajime

When he's contemplating it he can't look at you. He's staring everywhere but your eyes. A little blushy too. He's a little awkward but can hold a conversation just not eye contact. There was one awkward conversation he dead ass went oh I'm just going to look up yep totally not suspicious.

Once he's decided he's going to do it though, he's going to confess to you, the fierce determination in him returns. He's no longer afraid to look you in the eye. You make a joke about him returning to normal and he's makes some deep line about 'realising what's important' to him. lol.

He won't rush it but rather wait for the right moment. That or his patience will run out and he'll be afraid someone else will swoop in and take you (he's seen one to many confrontations with Oikawa to let that happen) and pulls you aside one day.

The thing about Iwa is he likes to be prepared for anything. So he did have a mini speech prepared. Nothing concrete just more to do with his feelings--how he feels about you and what you mean to him. It's all loose but something he may or may not have practiced in his bedroom mirror a few times. Along with making sure his hair looked okay. Nice and spikey.

You know the smooth guy Kuroo wished he was? That's the guy Iwaizumi actually is and he doesn't even try, it just comes naturally. He doesn't say the speech. Its simple and sweet, he just tells you straight. 'I have feelings for you and I hope I'm right in thinking you do to. If so please go out with me.'

The only thing that gives away his nerves are those pink cheeks. He's wearing the most serious expression. He even does a little bow to show you he's serious. Just don't take to long to reply or he might panic a little (or do if you wanna be that person YOU MONSTER) but yeah. hehe.

Agreeing to date him? He's smug affff. Like he pulled you and pulled off a confession without fumbling. Nothing can bring him down. Mans is walking on air.

Bokuto Koutarou

The way he feels about you makes him feel so warm and full that he just can't wait to tell you. He's practically bursting at the seems holding in his feelings. The whole world knows about his crush without him having to even say it out loud. Aside from maybe some self doubt you probably sense it too.

The thing is that doesn't mean Bokuto is going to tell you the second he realises. He kind of wants to sit on the warmth that comes with having a crush for a hot minute. It's nice? Just hanging out without the pressure. He's a bit affraid of the pressure.

Also he's not enitrely sure you like him back, ya'know?

That doesn't last long though because before he knows it the two of you are hanging out together laughing about something when he just blurts out that he likes you. It's not planned, there's not speech, no fumbling but he's entirely serious.

There's the sofest smile on his face when you ask him to repeat what he said because honestly it's like you dreamed it. Surely he didn't just say he liked you? Not with that sweet smile and certain look in his eyes.

But he did! and he says it again. This time a little quiter but with more emphasis like he NEEDS you to understand. With an added question about dating. He holds your gaze and waits for your response. It's like the bubble around you two will break if it's not quick and if it's not yes.

Of course it is though and Bokuto's smile widens again like that brief moment of vulnerability never existed between the two of you. He's as happy as when he's been pulled from one of his emo mode moments. Maybe happier. He'd landed something better than a killer cross shot.

Honourable mentions:

Fumbles the confession: Atsumu Miya, Hoshiumi Korai, Yachi Hitoka

Blurts out the confession: Osamu Miya, Kunimi Akira, Kageyama Tobio, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tanaka Ryunosuke

Short and Sweet no eye contact: Kenma Kozame, Kindaichi Yutarou, Kiyoko Shimizu

Short and Sweet with eye contact: Ushijima Wakatoshi, Daichi Sawamura, Kita Shinsuke, Yaku Morisuke

Casual smooth confession: Suna Rintarou, Sugawara Koshi

[girlymatsu]

Number 7? (would any other characters (besides your f/o) have a crush on your self insert?) :3

I WOULD SAY… PROBABLY totoko LOL, I talked a little about their relationship in this ask post though I don’t even think she would realize it.. I think she gets attached to erina being a good friend that doesn't try to be her rival so she would be clingy towards her loyalty… she is like ditch that loserrrr hang out with meeeee , as well as interrupting Erina’s hangouts with oso whenever she is around hehe… silly cutie crush that she doesn’t even consider a crush .. she is always having some Homoerotic tension towards the women she's close to whether rival/partner or friend who genuinely care about her.. *lezzes out*

And other than canon characters… there may be an oc, Tomoya Yamamoto, that has one sided unresolved feelings that I’ve never really talked about. Tomoya is an old highschool friend who kind of does his own thing and fills his days with a full social life... he didn't exactly wait up for her when her life slows down, so in Erina's eyes theyre friends but someone who is outside of someone she can talk to and rely on.. but Tomoya might have unresolved feelings on her not wanting to follow him around anymore like when they were baby gyaru.. might be more infatuated with feeling important to her than wanting to date her, but cares for her in his own way. He's not a particularly great guy but he's complicated... and feels a bitter pettiness towards the losers she decides to hang around now.. Guy who should have it made but feels like something's missing and projects it onto an old friend who is out of reach (messay) he will have his arc in the bg

[rindragon-from-twewy]

Lol ok so I've had the mdarc dlcs for a while but I've only just now found the time/motivation to play them. I binged them all in one go and ig I just wanna talk about my opinions on each one a bit (I have nobody irl to talk to about it so I figured posting is a good enough substitute lol) It's a long read tho so buckle up!

Spoilers for all of them below the cut. And feel free to comment/rebog with your own opinions too cuz I wanna hear now that I know the full context for them all!!! <3

Desuhiko's; Someone take this man to rehab for recovering cringefails, he needs help. While I love him, having him in the protag position honestly made my skin crawl a little. He's built to only be a funny side character imo. Enyne's obviously a lesbian and also my girlfriend now I'll have you know- that's why she rejected the proposal cuz she's already married to meeeee! /j ... But also I'm just a sucker for the detective x thief trope and for that reason I can't pretend that Desuhiko was completely dumb for proposing like that- you'll find a girl (or guy) who's into cringefail losers eventually my dude. Honestly if I had to change one thing about it (besides the constant second hand embarrassment enducing dialog-) would've been cool to see him interacting with the phantom thief before his elaborate plan to catch them started. But that could just be my oumasai brainrot talking.

Fubuki's; BABY GIRL BABBYYYYY!!!! Why didn't she get much focus??? Halara and Desuhiko did basically everything- they stole her spotlight :(! She totally could've figured it all out on her own if she'd found the dice herself, I'm sure!!! She didn't need anyone reminding her of her own powers nor did she need Desuhiko to accompany her to see the fortune teller! She's not an idiot, the others just don't give her a proper chance to prove it! It was an interesting mystery though. I loved seeing the trio interacting more without Yuma around. I'm guessing all bar the Yakou dlcs take place before Yuma's arrival? Slay. Also, also the fact that she took an interest in card games afterwards??? And she's so good at them that she doesn't need her forte to win?! She's so precious! I need to give her a hug! TwT

Halara's; This case what honestly easier to solve then chapter 3's but also... damn I can't believe Halara kicked Kinger from The Amazing Digital Circus in the face like that. I can't tell if he was referring to Halara or his fiance when he said "I can kill the woman anytime" but I feel like Halara kicked him extra hard for misgendering and/or demeaning his own fiance like that, depending on which it actually was. Either way it was hot as fuck. (Yeah I've been a Halara simp this whole time, now that's a lore reveal!) I loved how Halara agreed to the job even thought they knew they couldn't accept the "we can keep a cat here" payment- it means that Yakou probably found out about their affections towards cats before Yuma did! That's cute- to think they think they're so on the down low about it but it's just so obvious! I wish the culprit wasn't so obvious but oh well- these cases aren't meant to be difficult after all!

Vivia's: EMOOOOOOOOOO!!!! SEND HIM TO EMO JAIIIILLLLL!!!! DERPESSED EMOOOOOO BASTAAAAAARD!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3 Still though- this doesn't change my mind about being neutral about the Vivia/Yakou ship. I tolerate it, live in harmony with it... I just don't see their dynamic as inherently romantic? But I get where the shippers are coming from now at the very least. I could maybe see them as queer-platonic? But that's all besides the point ig... Ryo's also much sweeter then I thought she'd be. It's interesting to think that Vivia can always see and hear ghosts. Creates a sort of chicken and egg situation. What came first? His Spectral Projection or his ability to see ghosts. Kinda reminds me of this British drama series called Ghosts - the protag has a near death experience and can see the ghosts haunting her house from then on - so I wonder if something similar happened to Vivia to trigger all this in him. Still... nice to hear a character saying that they rely on protagonists of stories they like to get enjoyment. I think a lot of people can relate to that... :>

Yakou's: ... :,( ... Why would you do that to me? Why??? It was so sad!!! Also they just photoshopped his sprite to have a green coat and no glasses that's so funny to me- Also also his wife's thiccc- 10/10 would also murder for her also tbh. Ok but in all seriousness- why couldn't they name drop her??? I feel so awkward having to give her a made up name in my own au cuz it's like what if they do eventually drop it in the future??? Like come on people, most of the other dlcs had named characters (minus Fubuki's)!!! I adore how Yakou's flashbacks were for other dlcs tho- like that's so fucking adorable. Someone really aught to move the zombies to better living conditions though- like I'm sure they could find somewhere that isn't dilapidated so they could be more comfortable. The zombies obviously have some level of consciousness remaining and I'm sure they'd all appreciate it :(!

[chuuyaspinkmotorcycle]

Day 3: PM!SKK of @/Black00Cat’s (twt) SKKtober

Honestly, not much of a traditional thread today, just Thoughts™️

Because wdym pm!skk became double black during some of their most formative years??

like, idk about you, but the ages 15-18 were pretty impactful on me.

skk should’ve been in high school during that time but instead they were some of the Only children in the pm at the time.

I can’t even pick a fav age year of them being in the pm together cause each one is so unique and a core to their identities, both as people and as a duo.

15!SKK make me insane cause dazai, for the first time we’ve seen, got a dog (Made a Friend) and it changed his whole world. he wanted to Live a little longer!

and chuuya finally met someone who didn’t see him as a caretaker/guard but instead saw the Humanity in him and Wanted to be his friend for who he is.

fast forward a lil and we get 16!SKK, another huge year for both of them.

for chuuya, he excelled at the jewel trade despite having no formal education (this blows me away every time I think about it)

he also experienced a devastating loss of the people he was finally warming up to, unearthed the the true depths of his ability for the first time, and had to do both of those a second time shortly afterward.

and yet he’s still a beyond caring person who puts himself on the line for most everyone??

dazai at this same age almost experienced the reality of watching his first friend die in front of him. he also met odasaku at this time and learned what it looks like to actually be (openly) cared for. he also learned what it’s like to be really listened to for once.

I’d honestly argue that, despite what we know he was capable of doing to people while in the mafia, these 16-18 years (until Oda’s death ofc) were some of his best.

yes, he didn’t find something to truly fill that hole inside of him but he still got enough out of it that he wanted to keep living a little longer.

we may not have 17!SKK yet (asgr when) but just the fact that dazai obviously didn’t manage to off himself shows that a. he wanted to keep living a little bit or b. he had some of the best friends he could’ve found in a place like the mafia bc they didn’t let him die either or c. maybe it’s a mix of both.

I’m a ‘17!SKK had an event that impacted them so much that it changed their dynamic’ truther as well, tho I think this shows up a lot later when they’re 22

and finally we have 18!SKK… who don’t actually have any scenes together that we’ve seen?

I could be forgetting something tho so correct me if I’m wrong.

but I do think their trust in each other had grown so much that even when one of them was away, they knew they could rely on each other.

and I think that’s why dazai’s way of leaving left chuuya with such a look of bitterness when he talked about it four years later.

chuuya wasn’t upset about his car, he was hurt that his partner didn’t trust him enough to even contact him about leaving.

and it makes me so sad to think that that’s how skk’s official partnership ended — two teenagers, barely adults, with broken hearts and there was nothing they could do about it once dazai dipped.

skk got described as best friends and to all of a sudden lose your best friend like that, especially for two teens who really only trusted each other to always be there?

it’s a death sentence.

dazai won’t be found if he doesn’t want to be and chuuya’s loyal enough to him to not seek him out; dazai can’t go to chuuya bc then he’s betraying odasaku’s wish and UGH it hurts meeeee

it’s crazy to me to think that we legit do not know all of the events that impacted them during this time.

yeah, we got some of the hardest hitters but there’s so many small moments we missed too

and, again, between the ages of 15-18?? I just. can’t imagine…

idk fam, this is a long ass thought thread about pm!skk but I legit could go all day long about this era for them, words are just not wording about my love for them 😔 they deserve all the love in the world because they were just teens trying to get by + THEY HAD EACH OTHER AA—