#well that and the fact they cannot ride for shit

[genderqueerdykes]

poverty is so isolating. it means being alone and away from people, events, society. you can't afford trips to and from places. you can't afford to spare gas. you can't afford the entrance fee. you can't afford tickets. you can't afford making eating a social event. you can't buy drinks. you can't engage in hobbies.

all you're encouraged to do are "free" things, but they're not free. Internet isn't free. cell phone service isn't free. sitting on the computer and your phone all day is frowned upon for good reason because it destroys your health. we shouldn't have to only be able to talk to people digitally to be able to socialize. we shouldn't have to watch streams all day. we need to see other people, i DON'T care if it costs a few dollars: poor people shouldn't be relegated to what few free activities there are because most of them involve being alone.

the library is one of the most annoying suggestions because it makes you feel pinned. yes i want to support my local library. i cannot sit still and read in public. it is not socially acceptable to start taking to strangers in the library in fact you can't have conversations there at all because you need to be quiet for the other readers. libraries are places of education, accessibility to information and resources, and social services. it is not a place to socialize. maybe entertain but Only if you can, well, read. i have dissociative disorders and unmedicated ADHD, i don't make it very far into books. i feel like most poor people get really tired of the library suggestion. it's an amazing resource. but it's not for this purpose

social events are almost always off limits. sure you can go to the bar and not drink, if you don't have alcohol trauma, aren't a recovering alcoholic, aren't overstimulated by noise, aren't photosensitive, don't have anxiety with crowds and strangers, aren't a minor, have an ID, and can walk there or get a ride there. sure you can walk to the cafe and use their Wi-Fi but this isn't a social activity and in many places you can't sit there for long periods unless you buy anything.

i get SO tired of the "go to a cafe" suggestion. think about how boring that actually is. you're alone. in America, it is NOT socially acceptable to sit at a strangers table like it is in other countries, let alone just start talking to them. it is NOT a common experience to strike up a conversation with strangers in cafes in America, like we really have cafes other than fucking starbucks to begin with.

going for walks and going to parks is not accessible to people with physical disabilities, agoraphobia, some schizophrenics, people with dog trauma, and other issues. parks usually have really poorly maintained or no sidewalks or foot paths. they can be uneven and hard to traverse for people who use mobility aids. unless you live near a monument or state park, your local parks are really meant for dogs to piss and shit in, for joggers to run through, and to look impressive to investors. they're usually pathetic swaths of grass with you guessed it, nothing to do. again it's rare to strike up conversation at the park. people need conversation starters. there's Nothing going on at the park. it's a great place to go if you need to cool down when angry or stressed, but it's fucking boring.

window shopping is pointless and dehumanizing. i really can't stand it when people suggest poor people window shop so we can think about things to buy when we have money ... why the fuck would i ever do that. when i don't have money i don't think about frivolous things i don't need. what the fuck kind of activity is window shopping, that's for people who have money.

poor people get tired of doing the "free" shit. if you suggest that a poor person should do these things when you do none of them yourself, you have 0 clue how boring and dehumanizing it is to never be able to decide what you do with your time. to have limited options to live. to experience.

money is not the reason you get to experience; you get to experience because you are alive. no poor people don't deserve to sit there and do nothing all day because they didn't "earn" anything. no poor people don't deserve to live their lives because they don't make as much as you. poor people deserve to enjoy being alive. poor people get to decide to have fun with their money, too.

I'm so tired of people being so harsh on people who struggle with financial issues and spending money "right" or "smart". reckless spending and difficulty managing finances are symptoms of mental illness and neurodivergence. bipolar, personality disorders, schizophrenia, anxiety, autism, ADHD, OCD and other mental health conditions can make managing funds very hard. don't be extra cruel to someone who spends money poorly in response to a mental health crisis. this won't make their situation any easier.

i sat in apartment after apartment for a decade doing nothing. i was a total shut in because i had no money. i never did anything but browse the Internet. all day long. without end. i was dissociating constantly. my anxiety was at its highest. i was constantly psychotic. instead of going out to fix it, i would stay inside longer, making it worse and worse and worse. i never bought anything. i didn't have hobbies. all of my decorations and possessions were from my childhood, my clothes were literally falling apart, a decade old. my walls were barren. my world was grey.

don't do this to yourself. don't tell yourself that you deserve nothing because it's harder for you to make money than other people. I'm very lucky now that i have made friends who pulled me out of my shell and have helped me get outside of my house. i spent so long alone and trapped indoors thinking it's the only thing i could do with myself for years. I'm finally recovering. if you're poor you deserve to live. you're alive. and you're not alone. i love you.

[ironunderstands]

Yapping about why I love Aventio and what I feel makes it a great ship 

(If you hate it I urge you to read this, because you don’t have to agree with me, but I want you to get where Aventio shippers are coming from at least)

I’ve just really wanted to talk about why I love Aventio because the people do not get it like I do and GODDD ITS SO GOOD WHEN DONE CORRECTLY UGHHHHH

Also this is gonna be VERY stream of consciousness I do not have a plan besides dragging you through my brain so enjoy the ride.

I guess the best place to start is the fact that Aventurine and Ratio are my two favorite characters in the game. Like even if they have no interactions with each other ever and might as well be from different pieces of media I would ship them, because I like seeing characters I like interact and the fun police cannot catch me. That’s a really shallow personal reason though and I feel like the rest I have will be able to be appreciated by others.

GOD THE DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD RAAAAAA

Two emotional constipated dumbasses circling around each other like black holes trying desperately to deny and run from their feelings when they have both fallen hard. The lack of acknowledgement of feelings on both ends is TRAGIC and it makes me want to rip my eyes out in a good way, let’s start with Ratio.

Unfortunately my glorious king Ratio has been mischaracterized to hell and back but we will get to that (and the Incorrect Reasons Why People Hate Aventio) later. Instead I will go over his actual character; a deeply insecure, intelligent man who desperately wants the rest of the galaxy to come to the realizations he has long since stumbled upon, but has been so isolated from his peers from such a young age that he’s doomed to fail in literally every social interaction he has and be misunderstood by both the audience in universe and irl (the autistic coding isn’t helping him either).

Ratio is tragically misunderstood again, both in universe and by the audience, which is why it means so much that Aventurine Gets Him. Aventurine pushes his buttons, tears down that literal cold marble facade masking the deeply silly and caring man beneath (this man bathes with rubber duckies in the privacy of his own home 😭), and that scares the shit out of Ratio. People aren’t meant to see through him, Ratio acts rude not just because he believes it’s the best way to help people, and because he believes he himself is mundane and the conclusions they come to should be their own, not his.

No, it’s also because on some level Ratio is afraid to be vulnerable around people. As much as he pretends like it doesn’t affect him, Nous’s rejection has hurt and haunted Ratio for his entire life. And I do mean his entire life, even in high school he had already set up a strict routine for himself, something commented on by his teacher, Ratio has quite literally always been striving for some sort of perfection and the fact that he cannot achieve it kills him.

Moreover, the guy just grew up way too fast, he didn’t have time to develop social skills. We see it in that afformentioned relationship with his teacher, in which they recommend Ratio (who is again in high school) to be moved up to college level stuff and transferred due to his success. He has quite literally never been able to just relax in a environment of his peers, Ratio for some reason we don’t yet know has always been dedicated to constant improvement and that leaves no room for dealing with failure.

On some level, he knows this too, that he can never be perfect. Ratio is part of the Mundanites in the Intelligenica Guild for a reason, he doesn’t just see himself as mediocre because he believes everyone is and that’s ok, but also because he looks down on himself for being too mediocre for the Genius Society, being too mediocre for Nous’s acknowledgement, being too mediocre for anything.

Which is tragic because Ratio is very accomplished and he is very smart, and his character stories aren’t even told from his pov, but rather in the style of documentaries and letters (his professor) and other works on his well acclaimed life. We don’t ever get to see how Ratio really sees himself, just the tiny cracks in his marble facade that let the real man behind the character shine through.

Because that’s what he’s playing 90% of the time, a character. Whether it be at the Herta Space Station in which his real goal was to uproot the researchers blind worship of the Genius Society, or in Penacony in which he plays up the arrogant, narcissistic scholar both people in universe and irl make him out to be, both to serve a goal bigger than himself. 

Sincere moments from Ratio are RARE but god are they beautiful, his conversation from Screwllum in 1.6 and his note to Aventurine in 2.1 will forever haunt me in the best way possible. If you want to understand Ratio as a character, yes read his character stories, but just watch that damn scene with Screwllum it is phenomenal. He cares so much and is so, so bad at expressing it, he drives me nuts, Veritas Ratio the man you are. 

And the thing is, it seems like he’s always been playing a character and doesn’t know where the real him ends anymore so he just sticks to the way people perceive him a lot of the time. Like as a kid he was constantly striving to be the best so he missed a lot of necessary developmental shit, and as an adult he’s a celebrity so it’s hard for him to attach himself to others anyways because society and his students will hound him for it.

And then you throw Aventurine into the mix, and oh boy does shit get interesting.

Veritas Ratio, perfect “unfeeling” Veritas Ratio and the one person who gets him well enough to push all his buttons and expose the vulnerable underbelly he thought he hid so well. On a fundamental level, Ratio understands this, which is why he doesn’t bother with the alabaster head, as pretending the real him is just as unfeeling and uncaring is easier.

So he brushes off Aventurine’s jests as if they are an insult to his very existence, he can’t look in Aventurine’s eyes when he “betrays” him because his poker face would break, he leaves as soon as he’s done talking because lingering would allow the weight of their conversations to sink in. Part of it is because for pretty much all of Penacony, up until the note Ratio gives him, Ratio is acting, trying to play up the role of the arrogant, unfeeling scholar to make Sunday buy the betrayal plan, because to Sunday this behavior is signs of a bad relationship between the two (honestly the fact that the audience also interpreted it this way makes me mad like did yall seriously not pay attention, but also happy because if even the players were fooled that means Sunday buying it is believable). 

However, even if it feeds into his insecurities, Aventurine knows that false facade and loves tearing it down. It’s very telling that the second time we see Ratio really freak out (the first being at Herta Space Station) is at the suggestion that he came to narrate Aventurine’s demo not because of knowledge or respect for the show or whatever, but because he genuinely likes the guy. What makes it even better is that Aventurine is the one who suggested it, and already figured out the excuses Ratio was going to use to deny it. Ratio can fool everyone else in the galaxy, but he cannot fool Aventurine, and on a fundamental level that is what makes their dynamic work, because Ratio knows Aventurine in the exact same way.

Aventurine can shove away people who care about him, out of distrust and fear that they will leave him like his family did. He can believe he’s unloveable and a person so detestable that even the actions he performs in order to stay alive condemn him to hate himself as much as the rest of the galaxy hates him. But, Ratio doesn’t see him that way.

Aventurine doubts his intelligence, if he has really earned anything he’s done and in his voiceline about Ratio, doubting if Ratio even sees him as smart or worthy. However, Ratios voiceline about Aventurine is about how he believes Aventurine is smart and worthy, and that his doubt will be his downfall if he doesn’t come to the realization that he isn’t worthless. 

Ratio knows Aventurine’s one weakness, the one thing that could stop him; himself. That’s why he gives him the note urging him to stay alive and keep on living because ultimately Aventurine will only ever fail if he gives up. And The Note Is Enough, Aventurine walks into the event horizon of a black hole, confident he can return alive on the other side because someone cares about him, BECAUSE RATIO CARES ABOUT HIM, and wants him to live on even if Aventurine doesn’t feel that way towards himself.

In the metaphorical and literal manifestation of the meaningless of the universe, in the face of overwhelming nihility, Aventurine survives because someone loves him, and with that love he’s strong enough to brave even that. 

Even if they can’t admit it out loud, these two deeply, deeply care for one another and trust each other perhaps more than anyone else in the narrative. The betrayal plan would have never worked if there was not mutual trust, Ratio wouldn’t have gone to Penacony in the first place if he didn’t trust Aventurine, and Aventurine wouldn’t have asked him to come if he did not trust him. We don’t just see this trust between Aventurine and Ratio either, and Jade and Topaz both trust him with their cornerstones, but ultimately it’s Ratio who’s physically with him the whole time, risking his life alongside him for the sake of their plan. 

As much as people like to ignore it, lying to the Family members, to Sunday, is extremely dangerous and puts Ratio’s life in danger as much as it does Aventurine’s. Ratio is not an irrational person, he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t have faith Aventurine would succeed, he would not have done if he didn’t think he would return. They have absolutely faith in one another and it’s beautiful. 

Aventurine’s first constellation is named “Prisoner’s Dilemma” for a reason. A social experiment in which two prisoners are captured and separated, if they sell the other one out and remain silent, they go free but the other remains in jail for 20 years. If they both sell each other out, they get a sentence of 5 years. 

But if they both remain silent, trust the other, they even if they physically can’t communicate and don’t know what the other says, they get the best possible outcome, only one year in jail each. It requires a sacrifice on both ends, they both still have to go to jail, but only for a year, and only if they trust each other completely, as if the other sells them out they will be in jail for 20.

The prisoners dilemma relies completely on trust, and it’s the exact situation Aventurine and Ratio face in the Penacony quests. Aventurines doubts if Ratio’s betrayal was real or not, even if he set it up himself, and Ratio worries about Aventurines survival, if continuing this plan will end well. “You can’t expect a featherless bird to take flight” isn’t just Ratio chastising Sunday, he’s genuinely worried that this plan will put Aventurine at too much of a disadvantage to continue on. 

But they both trust each other, and if just like in the Dilemma neither come out completely unscathed (although it’s much worse on Aventurine’s end), they ultimately achieve their goal. 

God is it sweet and corny in the best way possible 

I want to kill this fandoms perception of stoic, emotionless Ratio because once people realize he’s actually the corniest mf ever is the day I sleep easy. He makes statues of himself doing Jojo poses, he plays chess versus himself, he named himself Veritas (truth), he loves rubber duckies, he literally sits in a bathtub couch, and Aventurine breaths and he gets flustered.

Ratio so deeply silly, chronically corny, it’s a crime he needs to be locked up someone stop him. 

And Aven brings that out of him. His teasing reveals the goofball trying so desperately to disguise himself as a serious scholar. Ratio is very smart of course, but that only makes his silliness better, as you watch this absolute genius of a man behave like a tsundere schoolgirl. 

It’s not like Aventurine is some paragon of seriousness either, he’s the one teasing Ratio, fucking around even in a serious mission. Yeah it’s partly because he wants Sunday to think he’s incompetent, but it’s also because Aventurine genuinely is having fun, enjoying himself before the serious part of the plan kicks in, and the meantime he does that by messing with Ratio.

Their dynamic of Aventurine messing with Ratio, and Ratio trying desperately to pretend like it doesn’t affect him is as hilarious and heartwarming as it is tragic, and that dichotomy is why I love them so much. It’s fun and it hurts so so much because their interactions being this flavor of silly leaves almost no room for the sincerity they both desperately need from one another. 

AND GOD I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. RATIO MENTAL BREAKDOWN SCENE PLEAASEEE LET HIS WALLS CRUMBLE PLEEEEAASEE PLEASE PELADE PLEASEEEE EPLES DOLS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

They’ve gotten closer and closer and closer and soon something’s gonna snap because they are so close yet so distant and if something doesn’t change the tension is just gonna boil over AND I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. I need more Ratio scenes I need more interactions with him I need him with his guard down I need him to profess out loud that he cares about Aventurine I need him to break please he needs it, it would be so good for him. It doesn’t even have to be from Aventurine, just Ratio snapping and revealing the fucking mess he is under his facade and not being rejected by the people he cares about for it is enough.

I honestly doubt it will happen in the story though, as much as I want it to. Although Aventurine’s character demo somewhat changed my mind against this, I feel like hoyo is like “ok they get the vibe between these two we can move on” and the shippers are left to extrapolate how this relationship would go beyond what it is now. As much as I want a breakdown scene for Ratio in general, it probably wouldn’t happen in a while but devs if you are reading this PLEASEEEE. 

The only time Ratio ever gets slightly out of his element is with Aventurine but I need it to go further because god it would be interesting.

Well I’ve deemed that enough yapping about why I love Aventio (for now 😈) so let’s talk about why people hate the ship and why most of the reasons behind it a fucking stupid. (Massive disclaimer of course you can dislike it it’s just a lot of the “oh it’s a horrible ship and anyone who likes it sucks” shit isn’t grounded in reality in the slightest and I’m tired of the slander)

“Ratio was racist to Aventurine”

Now this is a spicy one because if this post was made in 2.0 I would 100% agree with you (during that time I shipped a non canon version of them in which that did not happen because how dare u do my boy like that hoyo). However 2.1 changed a lot and I mean a lot, and basically reframed the 2.0 quests for everyone.

Essentially, Ratio and Aventurine were both acting in that argument scene, making the things Ratio said to Aventurine not how he really sees him, and actively something Aventurine wanted him to say, so you cannot blame him for what he said. I’m not even joking or exaggerating, retrospectively it quite literally does not make sense if you view it in any other way, and honestly even with just the knowledge of 2.0 the scene doesn’t make sense if played straight, so let’s get to why.

a) Ratio and Racism do not mix fundamentally. Ratio is a person who believes that everyone deserves and education regardless of background, that it is a scholars duty to help others achieve that, and no matter who you are, you are capable of intelligence, learning and becoming the best version of yourself, and that those qualities are just limited to geniuses.

THIS AND RACISM DO NOT MIX. “Oh yeah education and improvement is possible for everyone except this specific group of people for some fucking reason!!” Like not only would this scene being serious contradict Ratios entire character, the man who believes people should not be judged for their educational background judging Aventurine for his educational background (that’s actually what the Sigonian upbringing line meant, it was mistranslated in the EN version)??!?!! Make it make sense.

Moreover, half this perception also come from the fact that hoyo made the incredible writing decision of naming Aventurines planet after a slur for Romani people, so unfortunately literally anytime its name, Sigonia, is brought up you’re essentially saying a slur. It’s much worse in the CN version, in EN it’s not obvious at all, because our version of the slur (it starts with a g and ends with a y that’s all the hints you’re getting), doesn’t look like the version of the slur that the name for Sigonia was derived from, which is partly the source of this misconception as I’m pretty certain most people assumed Ratio (and by extension Sparkle) said a slur elsewhere in the conversation when in reality them referring to Avens ethnicity/background/planet IS the slur.

Anyways terrible writing decisions aside, Ratio supposedly being racist doesn’t just contradict his core motivation, it contradicts his job. He’s a scholar, for fucks sake, and racism is inherently illogical. Mmm yes I’m gonna base my identity around finding truth for myself and I will believe government and social propaganda about specific groups of people! Very logical, very scholarly, we all clapped. 

So yeah, doesn’t make sense on a character level, to the point that in 2.0 I concluded that they must be using Ratio as a plot device in that scene to deliver some of Aven’s backstory to the audience due to how OOC it was for him 😭. However I wasn’t necessarily wrong, Ratio was delivering some of Aventurines backstory to AN audience (not just us), and he was behaving OOC in the 2.0 scene, but it was on purpose.

b) The betrayal plan 

Aventurine forms a plan in which him and Ratio pretend to betray one another in order to sneak the Aventurine cornerstone into the dreamscape by replacing it with the Topaz stone (red herring + black hole scene dialogue implies she and Jade are there for other reasons) and the Jade stone (perfect dupe). 

Now this betrayal hinges on Sunday, their main antagonist buying it, actually believing that Ratio would betray Aventurine on a mission as important as Penacony, and it requires Sunday also buying that he is winning the whole time, that the loss of the cornerstones was somehow a fumble on Aventurine’s end rather than something he planned all along. 

So, they stage the 2.0 conversation. Ratio yells at Aventurine for losing the cornerstones, something which was part of their plan the whole time. He then insults Aventurine’s background allowing Aventurine to reveal key details of his past that Sunday would not have learned otherwise, which he uses in the trial against Aventurine. Seriously, Aventurine only found out he was the last Avgin when he became a Stoneheart, do y’all think Sunday summoned that info with his mind or something during the trial (like do you guys genuinely think Sunday read his wiki or something)

Moreover, Ratio not only insults him, but portrays Aventurine as useless, disposable to the IPC because he is apparently already sentenced to death. Why does he do this? Well, so Sunday feels confident enough to do the same to Aventurine. Seriously, sentencing an IPC member, especially a high ranking one to death is a risky move, even for someone as convicted as Sunday, he would need the confidence to do so and learning Aven might already die would give him that ability. 

Because well, it doesn’t matter that much if he’s already going to get disposed of in the near future. I also think the IPC plans to use Aventurine’s “death” as leverage against the family because they were pleased to hear of his death sentence according to Dr. Ratio, meaning a) he likely did not have one from them at the time, although in the past he was sentenced to death and b) even if Aventurine succeeded in getting the cornerstone his seeming loss in the rest of the conversation wasn’t actually a loss at all, getting sentenced to death/“dying” at the very least was part of the plan all along as the IPC could still use it as leverage if things went south.

Continually, Ratio treating Aventurine in the exact same sh1tty way the rest of the galaxy does perfectly slots him into the arrogant, uncaring scholar role, which Sunday knows are some of the most easily manipulated people in the galaxy, considering he tries to bribe Ratio with knowledge about Stellarons it seems he bought this idea hook line and sinker. Sunday isn’t even subtle about it either “I heard you and your companion haven’t been getting along lately” where did he hear that from? Ratio didn’t tell him, and even though we know Sunday was 100% watching the two of them on their little adventure pre-meeting him (the bird and hound statues) that scene hasn’t happened yet so where did he get that from?

Some other interesting proof for it is that the Final Victor lightcone likely depicts Aventurine trying to convince Ratio of this plan of his, the events of which must occur  pre-Penacony for several reasons, the least of which being that we just never see it happen on Penacony which if you think it did we would see it. Moreover lightcones are canonically condensed memories and the Final Victor lightcone released in 2.0, meaning it’s the memory of something that happened before then. 

All signs point to the 2.0 scene, the one people use to paint Aventio as toxic being staged. And I have so much more evidence for this, (Ratio would never agree to go without a plan, Aven clearly formed his pre-Penaocny, so much of the plan like Ratio opening the cornerstone box, which he can’t do up until the betrayal as it’s in Sundays possession, rely on him arriving knowing how to do so, the time discrepancies, the complete 180 in personality Ratio would have to do to go from distrusting Aventurine to putting his whole faith in him, etc), but I will reupload one of my old slideshows to elaborate more on it. Basically the one thing that people use to say it’s toxic is not true and is in fact a greater show of the trust between those two. 

“The shippers are all weird and racist” 

Now this one actually has some truth to it because yes there are some incredibly fucking weird Aventio shippers and I do not blame yall for disliking them.

HOWEVER, most Aventio shippers are normal and hate that shit just as much as you guys do. Like do you realize most shippers also really like these characters and have something insane called morals so they don’t automatically excuse racist fujoshi goobers just because they are making content for their favorite ship. Trust me someone doing that pisses me (and most other Aventio shippers) off significantly more than people who hate the ship. Also free Ratio from this shit man poor guy is getting mischaracterized as a slaveowner by his fans and haters 😭

And like guys, have you ever been in a fandom before, like ever? Weirdos are always gonna be weird and it’s not Aventio’s fault they are this months victims. For a fun little example of how gross other fanbases can be, one of the most popular Overwatch ships on ao3 is Genji Shimada X Hanzo Shimada WHO ARE BLOOD RELATED BROTHERS. THERES LIKE 300+ FICS OF IT, SHIMADACEST IS LITERALLY A TAG ON THERE. I WAS IN THE TRENCHES SEARCHING FOR GENJI HANZO ANGST FICS (Hanzo killed Genji it’s complicated doomed siblings will always get me) AND HAVING TO COMB THROUGH THOSE ABOMINATIONS IN THE PROCESS.

Like please I’m relatively new to fandom culture but yall cannot be acting like this is weird for fans to do, it’s weirdo behavior but it is not unique to the HSR fandom or even Aventio. And even if understandably this makes you not like the ship, don’t paint the people who enjoy it as being the people who do this kinda sh1t. It’s not our fault peak gets tainted by miserable creatures ok, let normal ppl have their harmless fun and stop lumping people together into a monolith. 

?????

Well that’s it that’s all the “valid” reasons people have for hating Aventio, at least the ones I can remember. Everything else is just personal opinion and not at all an objective reason.

“They’re so sibling coded!”

Anyways again obviously you can still dislike it not everything is for everyone, I really just wanted to make this post to demonstrate why I and many others like it, and why the reasons people use to say it’s problematic are incorrect. Feel free to call it mid, block it whatever I don’t care, just don’t harass shippers for having some harmless fun, because the characters aren’t real but the people who like them are and in doing so you are really just being a jerk for no reason. If you somehow hate Aventio and read this the whole way through I congratulate you on your ability to actually listen to other people, and regardless of whether you changed your mind or not I respect you for doing so anyways. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts. 

[nakahras]

᯽ mr. loverman • chuuya nakahara

synopsis • you have a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day and to top it off you can’t even go to the one person you’d want to since he’s out of town. or, at least, you thought so.

warnings • intentional lower case, reader has a nightmare of a roommate, cursing, the use of the pet names doll/baby, chuuya being the gossip he is, fem!reader, nsfw, oral (m -> f), nipple/breast play, some nasty shit is said, masturbation (m), fingering, teasing, slight overstim, idk this is some depraved shit honestly

wc • 4k

a/n • i started this when i was having the worst day ever and just wanted boyfriend chuuya :( i cannot be blamed for the smut idk who wrote that but it wasn’t me

you want to scream — to be more accurate you want to off someone, yourself or someone else, either would suffice. unfortunately you stick to screaming, it would cause you less issues. you lift one of the many pillows on your bed and promptly screech your throat raw into the expensive pillow. your head feels as though it’s going to explode just thinking about how your day has gone.

you thought february 29th was supposed to be a lucky day? an extra day in a leap year meant luck, didn’t it? well in your case it didn’t feel very lucky. not at all, actually. in fact you were sure today was a curse. you woke up late, so, your day was off to a bad start from the beginning. your roommate forgot to pay the electricity bill, again, so you had to take a cold shower and couldn’t even make coffee. you stopped at your favorite coffee shop and not only did they get your order wrong but someone bumped into you on your rush to the train station. there was coffee everywhere. every. where.

thanks to the coffee spill you missed your morning train. which normally wouldn’t be a huge deal, except for the fact that you had an early staff meeting. you try to text your coworker that you were running behind but because your roommate forgot to put the payment in for electricity, your phone didn’t charge and died. you don’t even get your message out. you wanted to cry. luckily the train was early and you made it to work just in time.

you thought maybe you had seen the worst of it. your karma surely couldn’t be that bad, right?

wrong.

you work as a nurse in cardiology. you had not one, not two, but three people code on you. it always came in threes. three emergency services calls. three rounds of performing cpr. three separate incident reports to type out. you were exhausted by the end of the day.

you almost cried again when your favorite coworker offers you a ride home. he was a saint in disguise and you told him so. a literal gift from heaven. you promise him a homemade lunch in return and he waves you off as you climb out of the car. when you get to your apartment you’re pleasantly surprised to see your roommate cleaning. a rare occasion.

the electricity is back on too so you take the opportunity to enjoy a relaxing bath and some wine. you thought, once again, maybe the worst was over.

wrong. again.

when you got out of the bathroom you thought you vaguely heard chatter but chalked it up to a show your roommate was probably watching. you change into a t-shirt, skipping a bra because it’s just you and your roommate at home, and a pair of sleeping shorts that barely cover anything. when you walk out with your headphones on you’re stunned to see 3 strangers in your home.

your roommate looks at you like you’re the crazy one. like she isn’t the one that didn’t warn you about the company. you double check then triple check your phone. nope, not a single text for warning. you awkwardly wave and consider digging a hole and living in it when she introduces one of the strangers as her new boyfriend. in that moment you want to perish, cease from existing altogether.

you don’t even get a chance to grab your food before you’re making a half assed excuse to step away and run back to your room.

you’re now laying on your bed, letting tears of frustration stream down your face. you can’t even call the one person who would make it all better. your boyfriend was away for a business trip. you didn’t want to accidentally interrupt something important. you knew he would drop everything

your boyfriend also has this freaky 6th sense, like he can always tell when you’re thinking of him. so, you’re not surprised when your phone begins to ring and you’re met with his contact photo. you let out a sigh and pick up.

“chuuya…” you breathe out. you sound terrible, you know you do, but you can’t bring yourself to even care to mask it.

you can hear vague rustling in the background before chuuya is speaking. “you don’t sound okay. what’s wrong?”

you start crying again. how does he do that? he always seems to know when you need him most. right now was definitely one of those times. you wish he could actually be there. you missed his warm and safe embrace.

“i’m not. i had a really shitty day and i feel so ridiculous about how much it’s getting to me…” you let out a humorless laugh at how pathetic you feel saying that out loud. you’re throwing a fit over a bad day. who does that?

and all you wanted was for chuuya to be here. but you couldn’t tell him that, if you did he would dismiss everything and come running. then you would feel bad about coming between him and his work. you let out a frustrated sigh.

you can practically hear the frown on chuuya’s face when he speaks. “you wanna tell me ‘bout it? i’ll listen. or is there something else i can do to make you feel better?”

you don’t deserve him. you think to yourself.

moments like this make you really think about how chuuya deserves way more than what you can give him. you go days at a time without talking to him because of school and work. you lock yourself in your room and ignore the world outside just to keep up with your school work. you know it’s unfair to chuuya even if you always do give him a warning. he is always incredibly understanding over it that you almost cry out of guilt. he even brings you meals and hydration packs to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

things like this remind you just how selfish you can be when it comes to him. all you want is him. but are you allowed to even feel like that when he’s away for work — a good reason by the way, much better than your own. he never complains when you need space so why would you? to you the answer is simple, you won’t complain.

of course, chuuya sees it differently. he knows that if you didn’t have to cut everyone off to focus on your work you wouldn’t. but your mind doesn’t work like that and he gets it. does he miss you when you have to take a break from reality? absolutely, but he doesn’t complain because he already knows how bad you feel about it.

so instead of saying ‘yes, i need you’ like you want to you let out another sigh. “how much work do you have left today?”

”funny you ask me that, doll. i finished everything early today.” chuuya chuckles when he can practically see the way you perk up.

you still hesitate when you ask, “does that mean you're coming back to yokohama early?”

the port mafia executive smiles widely at just how adorable he finds you. the way you still get so shy to ask him things that should be a given. chuuya adores you and couldn’t imagine spending his now free time with anyone other than you. so, of course he took the opportunity to get back as soon as possible. apparently his timing was impeccable because from the sound of it, you could use a break.

chuuya was already on his way to your apartment. it was supposed to be a surprise, but he figures since he’s already almost there…

“why don’t you pack a bag and come down to find out for yourself, hm?” he lets out another chuckle when your excited squeal finds it’s way onto his side of the phone.

you quickly grab your small duffle and stuff some essentials into it. you have a drawer at chuuyas jam packed with clothing already and a whole second set of your favorite hygiene products so you only need to grab a few things. you pack your laptop and a couple articles of your comfier clothing. you change quickly, stuffing your legs into some jeans and actually putting on a bra underneath your t-shirt.

you grab your phone where chuuya is still on the line. “okay, all packed. should i come down now?”

“yeah, your surprise should be there any minute.” chuuya pulls up to the front of your building as he says those words and can’t help the pleased smile on his face.

you chuckle and shake your head. “my surprise, huh wonder what it could-“ you’re cut off when your roommate calls out your name questioningly in your rush to get out of the door. your eye twitches when you’re reminded of the randoms in your apartment but put on a smile anyways. “it was so nice meeting you guys, sorry i can’t stay but my boyfriend came back into town early so i’m gonna go see him. bye.”

you don’t miss the way your roommate perks up at the mention of chuuya. “oh? chuuya is here? you should invite him up. i would love to see him.

“i’m sure you would. he’s tired though. maybe some other time.” you grit your teeth and smile sweetly. you don’t wait for a response as you practically run out the door and lock it behind you.

you huff and then remember chuuya is on the other side of the phone still, you grimace realizing he heard the whole thing. “sorry…”

“didn’t know i was so tired.” chuuya laughs as you let out a groan.

you catch the elevator before the doors close from someone just getting out and stab at the button to the ground floor. “i’m tired of their shit, therefore, you’re tired too. plus did you really wanna sit through another awkward meal where my roommate dotes on you. god and her new boyfriend was there. can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be? gross. i don’t wanna think about it anymore.”

“someone’s actually insane enough to agree to date her? condolences to whoever that guy is.” chuuya’s voice drips with genuine surprise.

you let out a giggle at how scandalized your boyfriend sounds. “you’re telling me she doesn’t pique your interest, sunshine?”

he chuckles and you can practically hear the eye roll from his end of the line. “nah, my girl is the only one for me.”

you’re walking out of the elevator when you stop in your tracks for a moment. it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with him, when chuuya calls you his girl it makes you melt. your brain malfunctions a little and it makes you really think about how you truly are all his.

without hesitation you breathe out an “i love you.” before moving forward to the entrance of your building.

“i love you.” it’s instantaneous, his answer.

chuuya never has to think twice about telling you how much he adores you. he is immutably in love with you. there was no doubt in his mind and, even though it took some time for you to believe so, there was no longer a single doubt in your mind either. chuuya had made certain that you would never question it.

you make it to the entrance. the moment you open the door you’re welcomed with the sight of chuuya leaning against his car. his phone is still up to his ear as his grin widens upon seeing you.

you drop your hand and phone from your ear and hang up before rushing over to the ginger. you drop your duffle bag near the car before jumping into the executive's arms. he was anticipating the impact and caught you with ease.

the bicolor eyed man holds you tightly and you bury your face in his neck. his soft hair tickles your face but you couldn’t care less. you take in a deep breath and his scent envelopes you and all the tension your body had been previously holding completely dissipates.

your voice is muffled when you say, “i missed you, so much.”

“i missed you too.”

you both stand there in each other’s arms for a few more seconds before chuuya sets you down. he grabs your bag from the ground and opens the passenger door for you. you thank him and climb in. your boyfriend wastes no time placing your bag on the backseat and slipping into the drivers side.

the ginger takes you to your favorite take out restaurant and you order all of your favorites. when you get back to his penthouse you set up his couch into a lounge bed and get ready to watch one of your favorite movies. while you’re doing that, chuuya is pouring you both a glass of wine.

you’re happily munching on your food and sipping on your wine when chuuya hits you with. “you should move in.”

your head snaps back to look up at him, your brow is furrowed and you give him a confused look. “we haven’t talked about it before. are you being serious right now?”

“completely.” he doesn’t even look at you, his tone so nonchalant and you’re just gaping at him.

you set your drink and food aside and shift off of chuuya. he’s about to complain until you sit yourself on his lap straddling his waist and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. you pluck the remote from his hand and turn over your shoulder to pause the movie. you wanted to make sure you had his undivided attention (you always did).

you study him for a moment before responding. “are you sure?”

“yes. i have 2 extra rooms that aren’t being used. we don’t have to share a bedroom yet and you would still have a separate office space. c’mon, doll, let me get you out of that nightmare of an apartment.” chuuya reaches up and tucks a stray hair behind your ear.

he did that on purpose. you know he did. the way he caresses your face with his always surprisingly soft fingers is unfair. he knows how distracting it is to you.

you try to process what he says but it takes you quite a bit longer than it should have but it doesn’t take you long to make your decision. “…okay.” it comes out whispered.

“okay?” chuuya asks you incredulously like he was actually expecting you to reject his offer.

you nod your head with a blush creeping up your face. “yes, okay. i’ll move in with you.

chuuya can’t help himself and presses his hands across your back to bring you into him. his lips crash into yours and you share a moment of pure bliss. his lips meld perfectly with yours. he tastes of peppermint and grapes. the taste increases as his tongue slips past your lips and tangles with your own. you let out a short gasp at the sudden intrusion but melt into him anyways.

you both stay like that for a few minutes. your hips begin to stutter on their own. your breaths and gasps and quiet moans fill the atmosphere. chuuya’s hands have found their way under your shirt and he’s already playing with the band of your bra. his fingers expertly undo the clasps and hands glide across your now naked back.

your lungs scream at you. you want more of him but you have to oblige your body’s need for air. you part from his lips and rest your forehead on his own, breath mixing together as you both pant for air.

chuuya only gives you a moment, hips still moving into his when he grabs at your hair and gently pulls your head back so he can trail kisses down your neck. it takes all of his self control to not bite your soft skin. per your request, he’s always careful not to leave marks on areas that would be visible in your scrubs. this is the one instance where his need to please you outweighs his need to be possessive.

if chuuya had it his way, he would make everyone aware of just how much you are his. for your sake, though, he reigns in that side of himself. he supposes he’ll just have to show the world you’re his in different ways. like in the form of a key, and in the form of a ring he has stashed away in the far corners of his closet, and maybe even some day in the form of his child.

chuuya’s brought back to reality by the sound of your voice. he hadn’t even realized that your positions had switched. you were panting underneath him, face flushed, and — fuck — you look so gorgeous like this. you were always beautiful. but having you like this, something only he got to see always made something primal in him stir.

you huff and grab ahold of the ginger’s face. his mind was obviously elsewhere. “chuuya. listen to me. what are you doing?”

chuuya’s eyes, which had glazed over, somewhat clear from the fog. he smiles at you as he lowers himself further down your body and lifts your shirt to press kisses to your stomach. you let out a whine, ready to complain about him still not listening.

“relax, baby, i’m helping you relieve some stress.” chuuya draws soothing circles into your skin then, without waiting for your response his hands travel to your pajama pants to untie them.

your hand shoots out to stop him, still panting and slightly dazed. “what about you?”

“don’t worry about me. i can take care of myself while i take care of you.” he says it so unabashedly you can’t bring yourself to question him.

then your head starts spinning. the thought of him touching himself while taking care of you is so incredibly hot it ignites your entire body on fire. there’s no longer a single thought in your head that doesn’t involve chuuya’s mouth, his lips, his tongue, his hands, his fingers. you need it all.

you reach out and card your fingers through the gravity manipulator’s silky hair. he hums at the action and takes it as his sign to continue. his fingers work quickly, undoing the ribbon and hooking around both the elastic of the pants and your panties. his movements are so fluid and fast you can hardly keep up. your bottom half is completely bare but he’s not satisfied there.

his hand slides up underneath your shirt and through the valley of your breasts. he watches intently as your shirt slowly rides up to expose your breasts. his fingers ghost over each mound briefly before they’re sliding down your body again and gripping at your thighs, holding them open.

“so damn pretty.” chuuya hums and his eyes flit up to gaze up at your flushed face. “do me a favor, baby? play with those perfect tits of yours for me, won’t you?”

his voice is sickly sweet and smooth like honey. you’re so enamored by the sound that you almost don’t hear him. his expectant look is what starts up the wheels in your head to turn. his words process and your hands move on their own accord. you start kneading at your chest while maintaining eye contact with his bicolored eyes.

chuuya groans. “god, doll. look at you. playin’ with yourself like that. ‘s sexy as hell- you’re sexy as hell.”

“chuuya…” you let out a whine. your patience thinning by the second as you wiggle your ass for any chance at friction.

your boyfriend lets out a chuckle. “okay, okay. think i’ve made you wait long enough, hm? deserve a reward for all the hell you were put through today.”

chuuya, once again, doesn’t give you a chance to answer before he’s dipping his head down to get face to face with your already slick cunt. his tongue is quick as he runs it up and down your folds. you feel him sigh in relief against you, like this is the first meal he’s had in days. it might as well be with how much he craved you when he was away.

although, he was focused on you — focused on making this all about you — chuuya knows if he doesn’t make good on his word of relieving himself you’ll never let him hear the end of it. who is he to deny himself the added pleasure when you’re demanding it of him. so, chuuya lets go of one of your thighs to fumble with his belt and free his strained cock from its confines.

you vaguely watch his arm move. your attention wavering as his lips wrap around your clit and he sucks. your back arches and hands squeeze at your breasts in surprise as you moan out his name.

chuuya smirks, absolutely pleased by the reactions he elicits from you. his hand that freed his cock moves to collect some of the wetness that’s steadily dripping out of you. once he’s satisfied with the amount he lowers his hand and uses your slick as lube to touch himself.

you try to comment on it but your mouth isn’t working right. the only thing that comes out is, “chuuya~ so good. ‘s so- fuck- so good…”

chuuya groans, clearly enjoying this as much as you are. his hips start to stutter as he lets go of your other thigh to gather more of your juices in that hand. his mouth it still making expert work of your clit while his fingers are closing in on your entrance. he teases you a little, circling the hole a few times before slowly pushing in two of his lithe fingers.

your head is thrown back as a slew of cursed moans falls from your lips. this time chuuya lets out a moan of his own when he feels your walls fluttering around his fingers already. his hand being used on himself starts pumping faster, his cheeks hollowing more frequently and fingers start sliding in and out of you at an alarming rate.

he’s close, you realize. he’s close and wants you to cum before him. you aid him in his endeavor by rolling your nipples between your fingers then squeezing slightly to pinch them. the added sensation makes your whole body twitch.

“f-fuck, fuck, fuck. chuuya, gonna cum~ ‘s too much. gonna-“ a euphoric wave crashes over you and you let out an embarrassing squeal like moan as your vision spots and ears rings.

chuuya’s slurps while lapping up at your orgasm are insanely lewd and the noise alone is enough to send him crashing as well. what really does him in is the sight before him. your eyes rolling back into your head and mouth hanging open. he moans deeply, from his chest, and spills into his hand. he pumps himself a few more times until he’s twitching from the overstimulation.

chuuya laps up every last drop your cunt has to offer while you come down from that amazing high and catch your breath. when he’s happy with his clean up he rests his cheek on your thigh. you prop yourself up to look at him. he looks so angelic, hair slightly tousled from your fingers running through it earlier, face glistening from your juices and face flushed. chuuya smiles at you then turns his head to leave sweet kisses on your inner thigh.

you let your head hang back before groaning. he was going to be the death of you. you knew he wasn’t finished with you by a long shot.

“we have plenty of time to do this when i move in.” you whine.

chuuya lets out an elated laugh. “so, when are we moving you in? tomorrow?”

you let out a genuinely amused laugh, shaking your head at his eagerness.

[bindeds]

⊹・° ｡ㅤ BOYFRIEND VOX / LUCIFER / ALASTOR X FEM READER HEADCANONS ! — now i know alastor is aroace so i am once again making a post that acknowledges that as much as possible, meaning his headcanons can also be seen as platonic and his nsfw section doesn’t involve him engaging in the act of sex. i also made an aroace friendly headcanons post on alastor if you wanna check that out!

contains nsfw (+18) and it will be in a separate section <3 please credit me if you use these gifs!

mlist. request status.

VOX.

this man pampers the SHIT out of you and you cannot tell me otherwise. if you’re out walking in the streets of hell and you so much as look at a branded purse for a second longer than usual, it’s in your hands within the next five seconds. same goes for literally anything—clothes, shoes, sunglasses, books, anything you could want that isn’t a gadget, because he already gives you his latest models—only the finest for his girl.

he teleports to your phone screen whenever you ignore him, and you don’t tell him that you find it particularly endearing. the way he’s just so whiny for your attention that he’d act all petty and crash all your apps so you’re forced to look him in the face.

has the most funniest fucking pet names for you i just KNOW IT HAHA like think shrek’s prince charming. i just know that when you call him from a different room he’d definitely say shit like “just a second honey kisses!” like HAHAH I CAN’T GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD

DEFINITELY loves having you sit on his lap while he works. i just know this man is a thigh grabber.

he loves when you dress in sweater vests, preferably in brighter colors but it’s cute when you use more muted colors as well.

relating back to my first point, this man loves taking you to extravagant AND I MEAN extravagant dates. i imagine one of them would be getting the both of you a literal floating table in the red skies of hell so you can see the entire pentagram from where you dine. he would have the food freshly delivered from the finest chefs he knows but he also seems like the type who would forget your favorite food, then demand that the food switched out with a snap of his fingers.

i’m judging this purely off of ‘stayed gone’ but he has a TON of terrible jokes up his sleeves, and they border on dad jokes at this point. you simply roll your eyes and kiss him for being so silly.

i just know this man comes home to you and WHINES. like, no matter what it is, he’ll always have something to complain about from work and you’re happy to listen to him bitch and moan about the smallest things ever. he also lays down on your lap and you to rub his shoulders and console him, whatever it is. you know he appreciates it because he usually always responds with something along the lines of “you’re right, baby, i do push myself too hard!” and you coo at him while continuing to console him further.

VOX NSFW !

i know he definitely gets irritated when someone interrupts his work but would be so into having sex on the job, and even loves ignoring calls from the vees for you. but of course doing it one too many times has its consequences, and he laughs nervously the one time he backs out. i can just imagine him going, “oh, haha, uh—sorry baby, i uh—listen i know we usually—it’s—FUCK um—just—just five minutes okay baby?”

i know this man’s hickeys feel like tiny zaps on your skin, and the marks reflect that instead of bruises

regarding the ‘sitting on his lap’ thing … you tried riding his thigh once and he DID NOT like that. seconds after you were sitting on his cock, crying his name from how he was just pumping into you mercilessly.

“still wanna tease me on my own fucking thigh, sweetie?” he clicks his tongue and grunts right after, his hands on your waist was enough to leave bruises.

that being said, he makes sure valentino never catches sight of you. the things you do to this man is beyond anything he could have thought and somehow, he feels uneasy at the fact that the way you have sex with him was DEFINITELY porn worthy and the thought of you being on camera in that way makes him want to wrap all of himself around you like a blanket to cover you from all of hell.

LUCIFER.

ironically, this man does NOT give you the world. instead, he gives you casual nights out turned into nights where you share all your secrets with him, and he tells you everything might not be okay now, or ever, but whatever it is, he’ll be right there with you. think going to your favorite diners, cruising and carpooling along the quieter side of hell, screaming at the top of your lungs. this man is all about authenticity. he wants the bond, not the experience.

that doesn’t mean he doesn’t spoil you every now and then—he definitely does research on the best bars in the ring and takes you out every month during your monthsaries and gets you at least 10 different gifts—half of which are little trinkets you and him picked up from your little adventures together.

unironically so fucking good at picking out jewelry for you. you don’t know how he does it, but every time you both visit a jewelry store, you always pick out necklaces and rings and he always comes to you with pieces that just look way more stunning on you. he always insists on being the one to slip the rings onto your fingers or chain the necklaces at the back of your neck, and he always flies up to do it.

he sometimes visits you as a bird and flies through your window. you like stroking his little cheek and it always causes him to transform suddenly which catches you off guard, and he uses this opportunity to kiss you.

he makes rubber duckies modeled after you!! all of them have different outfits from all the times you spend together.

forehead touches. so important for him, he does it so often and it’s nothing short of endearing.

this man COOKS and he COOKS WELL. every now and then when you both stay home he always whips up five-star restaurant grade steak for you, same goes for his carbonara, fish and chips, ramen, fried rice, stew—whatever it is, he loves making it with his own two hands and loves cooking for you.

lucifer makes his own clothes seeing as his hat has a gold snake and an apple on it which only really related to him, and he also has a unique circus vibe to his clothing. he made his clothes out of magic but after meeting you he wanted to get into sewing to make you something from scratch.

LUCIFER NSFW !

i absolutely agree with a lot of lucifer stans on him being a definite switch BUT i just know that if this man tops, he tops HARD. i mean, we’re talking about the angel who successfully seduced not just the FIRST WOMAN to ever exist, but the SECOND TOO. WHILE SHE WAS LOYAL TO ADAM. I FEEL LIKE THAT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

he’d definitely do a multitude of things while trying out a few kinks to see just what kind of top flusters you. if you like service tops, he found out when he insisted on fingering you right after he’d brought you to orgasm with his tongue. dominant top? he found out when he crawled on top of you and said, “take it off for me, lovely.” all while leaving a trail of hickeys all from your jaw all the way down to your collarbone. the list goes on.

no matter if he tops or bottoms, this man begs, and its especially orgasm-worthy when he does it as a bottom. you’re riding him to your own climax and he’s close too and he goes, “ohhh god fuck please let me cum honey—let me cum please fuck! can i cum can i cum my love? i won’t until you say so oh fuck please baby—”

he knows when you’re pent up. apparently you give of a certain set of cues through body language only he sees and he’s observed it from you in all sorts of situations; going out with friends, sitting in bed with a book, tapping a pencil to your lip—it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. he can tell. and he never tells you how.

seeing as he usually has to fly up to kiss you on the lips, he takes every opportunity he has in bed just to kiss you. he could be going so damn rough on you that the neighbors can hear and he’d still be making out with you so damn hard.

definitely prides himself on cunnilingus. i know everyone mentions this because of the v he made to his lips but it just makes sense for him to do that if he’s good at it! he becomes a grunting, begging, whimpering mess when you suck him off but when he eats you out? you compare it to how restaurants have a signature dish—lucifer’s is whatever miracles he can perform with his tongue.

ALASTOR.

i think this is obvious because he literally hosts possibly the most famous radio broadcast in the entire ring, but this man has a way with words.

“to put it simply my dear, i just never thought the stars could walk on dirty streets, let alone ones that belong in hell,” he sighs with an almost dreamy tone to it as he rested chin on his knuckles, leaning closer to you from the other side of the table with his elbow propped up on it. “but it seems you’re living proof of that.”

you took that as his way of explaining his aromanticism and asexuality to you, even if he isn’t fully aware of those terms yet.

“how did a lovely thing like you end up with a gruesome animal such as myself?”

nonetheless, you and him are partners and he owns it, even if he’ll never admit that it is daunting for someone who has never felt this way about anyone else before. someone who has never liked anyone romantically before. he owns it because he doesn’t want the one person he’s ever loved to slip from his grasp. not when he was just so used to getting what he wants using his own bare hands.

seeing as he is aroace, he doesn’t kiss you directly on the lips but hugs you all the time and maybe kisses cheek-to-cheek.

he listens to your gossip and even arranges dates for you both to properly get together and just dish. he gossips back sometimes too, but not too much as he feels like that would be like treating you like the other friends he has. he’d rather spend this time he has with you focusing on, well, you, not other people’s foolish mistakes. but he sees how excited you are to tell him these things sometimes so, he listens still.

regularly slow dances with you, especially to old romantic songs the both of you like. it’s one of the rare times physical contact doesn’t feel foreign to him as he’s danced with many women, and he actually finds it endearing when you press your head on his chest. it shows that you feel safe around him, and that’s the best thing that could happen for him when you’re dating one of the most feared and powerful overlords in hell.

always does house chores with you even though he could use his powers to just speed up the process. something about cleaning up together just feels so intimate to him compared to physical touch.

ALASTOR NSFW !

he hates being touched, no question about that—but he also doesn’t like to see you pent up. he understands that everyone has their own desires, however filthy they might be—but your own are as good as sacred. you’re the one thing he treasures beyond all others and just as you can’t change the fact that he’s aroace, he can’t change the fact that you have needs.

so he comes up with something just for you; he asks if it would help if he talked you through it. praising or degrading you, whichever you prefer. telling you how much he misses having your hands on his, feeling you close to him. when he says this, he imagines you both dancing as you usually do, but of course, as you masturbate, you’re thinking of something else. this happens when he’s not in the room but he leaves his mic behind to act as a phone for the both of you.

“are you close, love? will you finish for me?” “y-yes …” “good girl.”

i imagine after a while of being with him, he would have seen you naked a few times on accident but he brushes it off well because there’s never anything sexual tied to it. so, when he is in the room while you get off, he’d use his powers to have a glowing green chain around your neck as he pulls your face closer to his.

“do you like it when i do this to you, hm? tell me just how much you relish being my good girl.”

[wowcatboys]

HI honeyy I love ur blog!!! can u please write the headcanons for kayn and K/da f!reader...how do the two of them explain their relationship to their fans or maybe they give a moment in a few shows?

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HEARTSTEEL KAYN: K/DA READER ♡ Female Reader ♡ SFW, with slight touching/sensuality ♡ No TWs ♡ THIS GOT SO LONG. I am willing to write more for this situation, since I had to cut a lot of my OG ideas to make room for what felt the most important...truly Kayn floods my mind and cannot be expressed or exhausted

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KAYN

When Akali dragged you along to one of Kayn's birthday parties, all she wanted was a drinking buddy to keep her company while Kayn was doing, quote, "birthday boy shit". She wasn't expecting you and Kayn to hit it off so well. She definitely wasn't expecting to find you two wedged in a coat closet, shoving your tongues down each other's throats. She had two words for Kayn as she linked her arm in yours and tugged you out from between a leather jacket and an 80's windbreaker; "Do. not."

But, after two torturously long weeks of you never shutting up about Kayn during rehearsals, and Kayn texting her so much she has to threaten to block him for any sort of peace and quiet (at all hours of the night and day, "hey gimme your hot friend's number", over and over AND OVER AND OVER), Akali comes around. She's just worried for you. Kayn's got quite the reputation, and she doesn't want him to fuck around with you and break your heart. But, she figures, you're both adults, so who is she to stand in the way of whatever you've got going on. So she eventually texts Kayn your number, but not without a warning; "you remember I know martial arts, yeah? and that I can totally kick your fucking ass? don't break my girl's heart dipshit".

On the whole, K/DA supports your budding relationship with Kayn. Even though he's a bit wild, the group's whole thing is about being individual and true to yourself—it seems hypocritical to tell you that you can't be caught holding hands with Kayn in line at Chipotle anymore for the sake of the band's image.

Heartsteel is a bit more tentative about you and Kayn. Alune's nervous to have Kayn dating such a high-profile star when Heartsteel has literally JUST broken onto the scene. But, this is Kayn, after all. What are they going to ask him to do, stop seeing you? He wouldn't listen. Besides, you do seem like a good influence in his life, and if the way his eyes light up whenever he sees your name pop up on his phone screen say anything, he's crazy about you. Eventually Alune sways other management and teams to embrace your relationship, as long as the two of you try to keep it relatively low-key.

If anyone ever implies he's with you to boost Heartsteel's fame or that he's trying to ride K/DA's coattails to the top, Kayn blows up. "We don't need shit from anybody," he sneers, "we're gonna climb to the top all by our fucking selves. Oh, and if you think (Y/N) would settle for anything less than a born rockstar? You're fucking stupid."

For your part, you're more subtle when publicly discussing your relationship with Kayn, but you still shoot down any ideas that he's with you for your status. "Heartsteel definitely doesn't need K/DA's help," you assert. "They're superstars and they're earning their spot on the music scene fair and square."

Kayn is your absolute fucking biggest superfan. He knows your lyrics front-to-back, he shows up to every single event he can, and he even uses Ezreal's Mercari account to snag rare merch that's being resold. Kayn tries to play it cool, but come on. You've seen the amount of posters he tries to hide in his closet. Only a fanboy has a collection like that.

There's hundreds of paparazzi photos of you two floating around on the internet, and Kayn's got a love-hate relationship with that fact. On the one hand, he loves being seen with you—what better way to claim you as his own than a photo of him literally grabbing your ass on the cover of a trashy gossip mag? On the other hand, can't a guy get some goddamn privacy? He hates that he has to share you with anyone, prying 'journalists' included. To make light of it, though, you two have started a little game. You send each other the wildest claims you can find about your relationship, trying to one up the other. Kayn's still winning with the article claiming that he's exercising some kind of mind-control to make you his girlfriend.

Flipping off the camera and open-mouth kissing you is one of Kayn's favorite poses to strike if he notices paparazzi lurking. For your part? You're just happy for his attention.

Kayn loves when you sneak into his shows. You usually have to wear a hoodie and go incognito to avoid getting mobbed, but don't worry, Kayn can pick you out of a crowd no matter what you're wearing. Sometimes, if you're standing close enough to the stage, he'll take off his shirt and toss it at you. He gets off on the attention, on thousands of people all-but-worshipping him, and if his favorite person is in the throng, knowing his worst parts but screaming for him alongside everyone else, just the same? Ego-boost of the fucking century. He may not express it to you often, but he really, really appreciates when you come see his shows.

Your packed schedules present a challenge, and Kayn despises the fact that you're often touring hours away from him. He still tries to talk to you as much as possible, even if it's not in person. Expect daily FaceTime calls, frequent Discord DM's, and around the clock blurry pictures of Kayn causing mischief.

Bless Akali's heart because Kayn absolutely harasses her about you. Whenever you're busy, he bugs her; "tell my gf to come back from the ded". Anytime you're on tour, he Venmoes her money to buy you your favorite fast food. She complains to you constantly—"tell your purse dog to stop yipping at me"— but really, she doesn't mind spoiling you by proxy. She's just happy that Kayn dotes on you so much.

Kayn jokes about making you late for rehearsal a lot—especially if he's halfway down your neck in a heated makeout sesh—but the truth is, that's never going to happen. Sure, he dicks around a lot, but he never gives less than one-hundred-and-ten to Heartsteel and he's not about to let you slack off, either. That includes making sure you get to your K/DA commitments on time (even if your neck is littered with hickies).

Kayn loves when you show him your choreography. He listens intently as you explain how to go through the steps, or complain about what you're struggling with. Often, he'll offer critique; "you look a little off-balance, try standing this way," or "Have you tried positioning a little more to the left?". Sometimes, these are genuine tips. Most of the time, though, he's just looking for an excuse to feel you up. What better way to sneakily touch your boobs than "suggesting" your chest needs to come out more?

[tototalks]

That’s a wrap on Prince’s Gambit!! 🥳 Let me tell you, there was not a SINGLE chapter of this book I didn’t adore. Absolutely stunning ♥️

Final thoughts! ✨ (Sorry for the length again 💀)

- Starting off strong with seeing Halvik and the awesome lady warriors again!! Halvik really saw the longest, prettiest, most luscious eyelashes on a man and knew it was an absolute waste. She is SO valid for that.

- Laurent is playing Game of Thrones 5D chess, and his mind terrifies and amazes me. His strategy and diplomacy with the reinforcements was absolute genius and this is why I need a Hamlet situation to happen with uncle dearest.

- Damen. Leather loincloth. That’s it. That’s the post. 🙂

- I love this weird point where Damen and Laurent both look at each other like “this is so clearly more than friends, but what the actual FUCK is this??”

- AIMERIC?! NO NO NO. FFS!! Omg I didn’t see that coming!! Why do I even bother getting attached anymore. I am the fool.😭

- Jord is breaking my fucking heart in two. I need good things to happen for him after this. He’s done nothing to deserve the betrayal, and that’s the phenomenal cruelty of it. Bad things happen to good people and there’s not shit you can do about it. ☹️

- BATTLE FOR THE PRINCE!!!! Man, I was ready to ride into battle with them! What an adrenaline kick of a scene!

- Damen was fully recognised, and yet, in the midst of it, there is MORE PAIN FOR JORD 🙃

- I am so happy that we get to see Erasmus and the living testament to the fact kindness is powerful.

- “I don’t like the Regent. He burned my leg!!” YOU TELL THEM BABE!! His revenge is so so sweet. Enjoy it, Erasmus♥️

- The kiss. Oh my stars, the kiss. That was the most angst promising, stunning, and oh-so-earned kiss made even more poignant by the fact I’m convinced Laurent KNOWS and is letting it happen anyway. If my suspicions are correct, he’s had to come to terms with the fact he’s fallen for the man who killed his brother. I am TERRIFIED for King’s Rising. 🙃

- Aimeric and Laurent, both very different victims. - “you attack those who can’t defend themselves” - Damen��� bro… I love you but stop. But I like the fact we get to see that Laurent is not impenetrable. He’s cold and cunning but still human and deeply hurt.

- Damen and Laurent’s first time. Wow. Just wow. The layers to this scene. Laurent’s clear trauma associated with sex and Damen’s reassurance and honour. “How a man takes a boy?” “No. How a man takes a man.” You hear that? That’s the sound of my heart shattering further. Sex scene done RIGHT.

- “Nicaise would not see fifteen now.”… well there goes the last of my fucking heart. I am DEVASTATED. He deserved to live. If you hear sobbing coming from the general direction of Hong Kong, just know it was me. 🥲

- “I’m sorry, Jord” - C.S. Pacat. We are gonna have words. You cannot make a bad bitch like me cry this hard.

- The Regent and Kastor in kahoots. Ooooooh boy - it pains me that deep down I feel like Laurent wanted to prove to himself that Damen wasn’t special and goaded him into that punch to prove it, and yet Damen recognises the cycle of abuse and that BLINDSIDES Laurent.

- AKIELON REINFORCEMENTS??!!! NIKANDROS!!??

- Aaaaaaand there’s Damen’s secret blown to utter smithereens. Nice job, Nikandros lol

- And if all that wasn’t enough, chapter 19 1/2 killed me off for good, so long folks 💀

Let’s go, King’s Rising!! 👑 ⚔️

[reiashiftsrealities]

shifting storytime <3

So sorry for the wait but IM FINALLY POSTING IT LETS GOOOO. So excited to share this experience with you all and I actually am tweaking from how much I want to go back. Also this is NOT proofread I apologize for any mistakes 🫶

DR: Hunger Games

How long was the shift: A week, give or take.

Method: Gaslighting Method (my own)

So in this DR, my name is Loralei Walker, and I’m from District 3. I think I said at least the district already but I’m reiterating. I’m going to be dating Peeta eventually but I didn’t meet him this shift. Finnick, Johanna, and Evangeline (friend I scripted in) are the people i’m closest to.

OH MY GOD okay so when I shifted, I woke up in my room with Chewy curled up in my lap. It like actually scared the living shit out of me so I shot straight up which caused him to nip my leg (granted I did like throw him upwards).

He’s so adorable ☹️☹️. He follows me around EVERYWHERE. He even followed me to the reaping ☹️. I scripted that I can take him to the Capitol cause he’s an emotional support animal, but it’s kind of sad to think that when I actually go to the Arena he can’t follow me :(

Now onto District 3: I didn’t expect this, but D3 is COLDDDD. It is FREEZING. It is FROSTBITE inducing. And blankets are a luxury, ironically. Like ice cubes in D12. Thankfully since I live in the Victor’s Village I have a couple of them but you literally can’t escape the cold.

Another thing; In D3, kids start learning about their district career at like 4 years old. School is from 5 am to 5 pm, kids 4-18. At 16, you have the option to take a test about 16-18 curriculum, and if you pass you get to graduate. If not, you stay until you’re 18. No do-overs. Not going to school is punishable by death. There are only a few careers you can choose from, which are: Technical Engineering, Technology Advancement, Robotics, and Computer Science. Being a Victor automatically exempts you from school + choosing a career.

D3 is very desolate and dark, considering we’re a tech district. There isn’t much wildlife or wilderness as big buildings completely take over the land.

District 3, except it’s a bit smaller.

Okay so onto the Reaping: That shit can only be described as ominous. Like watching it on TV really cannot compare to how it felt IRL. Hearing my name being called was like chilling almost, and I expected it! Literally can’t even think about how it must feel for the people who didn’t. My District partner was Beetee, which was so sad cause he was my mentor during my Games. After we left, he told me he’d do everything to make sure I was safe. I started crying he’s so sweet.

The train ride to the Capitol was SOOO AMAZING. I couldn’t even think about the fact that I was going to the Captiol. Seeing the Districts was so crazy, the Captiol really can’t compare to the beauty of them. I can’t remember which District it was, but we passed by a huge sunflower field. It was so pretty. And the sky was like a purple/pink. I wanted that sky tattooed on my body it was so pretty.

When we pulled up to the Capitol I was like IMMEDIATELY greeted by my prep team. I couldn’t remember their names and my stylist couldn’t either so we just called them Hughie, Dughie, and Lewie.

OH MY GOD I LOVE MY STYLIST SOOOOO BAD. Her name is Xotia and she’s a literal goddess oh my god she slayed so bad. Hold on I’ll show you the getup she had me in.

My outfit as a mood board. Didn’t wanna put that many photos.

SEE????? She ate so bad holy shit. Had me down bad for myself anyways

Slight deviation; My first impression upon meeting Finnick was “this mf crazy.” The aura on that man is INSANE. He’s such a natural flirt despite being enamored with Evangeline. I didn’t really meet anyone else besides Johanna, and she is actually insane. Her and Finnick are really good friends and they complement each-other well. Also, Johanna is a major lesbian. Like major. Yes I scripted she was but I’m considering it canon ☹️

I shifted back around the time we got to the training centre so I didn’t get to meet my man BUT I will definitely next time I shift 🫶 so I’m not upset about that. Besides I could’ve stayed longer but I didn’t want to.

All in all I am SOSOSOSOSOSOSO in love with this DR and actually can’t wait to be back I’m literally tweaking oh my god i canMt do this

Edit: IM SO DAMN SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG IVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS PLS ☹️☹️☹️. Not an excuse really but it’s finally here so yay!!!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[baiyubai]

weilan university students!au anyone? I almost dumped this on the WIP stage but then @the-marron bribed me into finishing

the bribe is under the cut

Zhao Yunlan is barely awake this morning, which means that his awareness of anything leaves a lot to be desired. The fact that he managed to stumble into the right train with only minimal amounts of bumping into people is already far above Zhao Yunlan’s own expectations for today, so he feels excused that it took him an embarrassingly long while to notice he is being watched.

It's not exactly a new feeling, truth be told - Zhao Yunlan does attract attention, absolutely willingly and with intent, but he is fairly sure that his awake self is much more interesting than the zombie chewing on the lollipop in his mouth that he sees instead of his own reflection in the train’s window.

And yet. Someone is looking.

Subtlety is an art available only after noon in his experience, and so Zhao Yunlan looks around in a way that is as covert as he can make it - with dead stare and absolute lack of any finer thought marring his forehead, when he sees him - the Pretty One.

Zhao Yunlan has been aware of the Pretty One for a while now. He’s noticed him a few weeks ago when he was getting on the train with his eyes glued to a book in his hand. Zhao Yunlan's first thought was ‘oh, a nerd’. The second one was just ‘oh’, because the man raised his eyes to search for some space where he and his book would not be a bother, letting Zhao Yunlan see his face clearly.

And what a face it was.

Classic poets didn't know shit when they described otherworldly beauties because this guy is just perfect.

And now he is staring at Zhao Yunlan.

He is seated a bit away, by the window, staring at Yunlan rather unashamedly. Maybe he truly believes in the zombie impression and doesn't think he’s been noticed.

Maybe he is simply judging Zhao Yunlan's clothes - he is pretty sure he wore the same hoodie yesterday, and since apparently he and the Pretty One share their everyday commute to the university, he had to notice.

Well, it is the only one not stained with coffee, so the Pretty One would have to deal.

Trying to make this a bit less awkward, Zhao Yunlan looks down at the book in the guy's hand and almost jolts. Biology?

Shit. This one is smart.

Pretty, but out of Yunlan's league and most probably an asshole - all the sciency types were either assholes, or insane or both.

Well, better to check than regret, Zhao Yunlan thinks.

Even if he decides that Zhao Yunlan looks like an idiot. 

***

Zhao Yunlan looks as great as usual, Shen Wei decides, feeling heat in his cheeks and his neck.

Of course, he looks his best when he is animated and talking to his friends, surrounded by people who adore him, smiling and sharing his knowledge with a smile and a joke - Shen Wei sees him often on his way back from the tutoring sessions, after Zhao Yunlan leaves his own club. He’s never managed to come closer, intimidated by Zhao Yunlan's usual circle, and besides, in the evenings Shen Wei only shares a two stations-long ride with Zhao Yunlan, because of his job.

That's why Shen Wei prefers the mornings.

The mornings are just for them - they get on the same station and leave at the one closest to the university, parting ways when the crowd of other students swallows them and carries them towards the gates.

But before that, Zhao Yunlan is more often than not just within the reach. Today, he looks tired - there are shadows underneath his eyes and his gaze seems a bit unseeing: it’s stopped on Shen Wei, but there is no light of recognition, no surprise at some random guy watching him like he is the best part of his day, and so Shen Wei allows himself to look some more.

He cannot help but feel a bit worried - is it lack of sleep? Illness? He doesn't know.

He doesn't even know what Zhao Yunlan studies really, he didn't catch that when listening to the conversations for such a short time. All he knows is the other man’s name, his route, and the fact that the mere sight of him makes Shen Wei’s heart do stupid things.

It's plenty enough.

Shen Wei should look back to his book - the discussion will most likely rest on his shoulders again and he should be better prepared for Professor Ouyang’s questions, but his eyes refuse to move.

There is something thrilling in having Zhao Yunlan's attention, as illusory as it is. Shen Wei is not fooling himself here, he knows that Yunlan is looking past him, just letting his unfocused gaze rest on something, but even so, Shen Wei is glad to have this semblance of a contact.

With his coursework loaded as it is, with the tutoring sessions and the part-time job at the museum, Shen Wei doesn't have time to make friends.

All he has is this train ride and Zhao Yunlan's handsome profile.

He wonders what would happen if they talked. He probably wouldn't like Shen Wei much, losing interest after a few sentences, realising that Shen Wei is just as boring as he looks, but maybe he would smile before that? He would offer his name, a handshake maybe?

Something changes in Zhao Yunlan's eyes suddenly, and Shen Wei looks down onto his book immediately, feeling caught.

He feels Zhao Yunlan's gaze on himself for a long time, staring at the words without comprehension, but it's better than seeing accusation or disgust in Zhao Yunlan's eyes.

For the first time in forever, Shen Wei is glad that the train reaches the destination. He packs his book and adjusts his glasses, heading straight towards the door. He will not check if Zhao Yunlan is here.

Once outside, Shen Wei breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn't know where Zhao Yunlan is, but it's fine. He can observe him again in the evening after all, even if for a short while.

“Hello there,” someone behind his back says, making Shen Wei’s heart leap like a rabbit. He knows that voice. “Want to go together?”

When Shen Wei turns, he is faced with Zhao Yunlan's bright, friendly smile, the lollipop stick still in his mouth.

“Go?” He repeats dumbly.

The answer makes Zhao Yunlan chuckle.

“To the uni. I am conducting an experiment!”

Shen Wei blinks. People are milling around them in haste and some small part of his brain insists that they should move too, or they would be late, but that part seems not to be aware that Zhao Yunlan. Is. Talking. To Shen Wei.

“Ah. What is it?” He manages heroically, not stumbling on his words even once.

Zhao Yunlan grins.

“The ‘how many eye contact until date’ experiment.”

Shen Wei’s mind comes to a very violent halt.

[jtl-fics]

In honor of April Fools day I will talk a bit about an AU with my favorite fool - (Redacted) Smith that I will probably never write fully but have thought about a bunch of scenes for.

I call it 2 Fluent Freshmen.

Due to a clerical error at both the school and during the local government's push to digitize their documents Smith is noted down as being 2 years older than he actually is and (perhaps a clerical error or maybe no teacher can say if they've had him in class or not) Smith also has enough credits to graduate. Gran has passed away early and there's nothing for him in Washington other than more anxiety.

Wymack & Dan come to Smith when he is 16 and Smith takes the chance to escape from his family IMMEDIATELY. Sure the Foxes are the worst team and sure there's some drama going on with Kevin Day having joined them after his injury but a full ride scholarship is a full ride scholarship!

Smith is rooming with 2 upperclassmen and his only other fellow freshman - Neil Josten. He is not hiding the fact that he can speak Russian, he is hiding the fact that he is 16. Smith ends up pretty close to Seth and Allison due to sharing a dorm / position respectively and just doing his best not to get to close to crazy Andrew Minyard. He does get a bit close with Neil but it's not something he's trying to do.

He's trying to keep his head down and get through the year.

It's a little hard when he is sat on the couch with the Kathy Ferdinand show. It's a lot harder when Riko Moriyama shows up and doesn't realize he's there and just...sits in Smith's lap?? Smith remains as blank faced as ever and what the fuck is Riko supposed to do? ADMIT HE FUCKED UP?

Do you know how hard it is to intimidate someone when you're sitting in the lap of some dude? The answer is VERY. Kevin can't take him seriously at all, especially after Smith made a comment that Riko's ass was bony.

Riko goes after them the same but Smith doesn't really get that his anger is at Kevin. "Hey, I'm sorry I called your butt bony on national television. That was rude of me. You should try some squats though." and like what the fuck is Riko supposed to say in the face of some dude genuinely apologizing to him.

It buys enough time that no one is grabbed or slammed.

Seth and Allison drag him out to the bar that night and after a few minutes sitting with Allison Smith realizes that he actually does have to pee and oh god someone's trying to assault Seth! Smith calls upon the powers of Gracie Hart and Seth has a black eye and a concussion but he graduates.

Neil wants Smith to come with him to the Thanksgiving because Neil has latched on a bit. Smith ends up going and also ends up going upstairs to go to the bathroom because oh god he cannot handle Nicky's parents hearing him take an anxiety shit. He's making his way to the end of the hall and sees a penny on the ground so he bends over to grab it.

And Drake Spears is unbalanced from missing his swing and falls right out the open window to the ground below where he breaks his neck. Naturally, Andrew is watching this scene unfold from the stairs and just starts to laugh his ass off. Smith turns around after flipping the penny over (it was tails side up and therefore not lucky) unaware of what has happened.

Smith asks if Andrew wants to use the bathroom. Andrew insists that Smith goes on ahead. The Hemmicks keep asking if they saw anyone upstairs and Smith has no idea what they're talking about, Andrew does but plays dumb out of spite. A day later it's wild that Nicky's parents got arrested. Like they seemed so normal, how did they kill someone and dump him in the side garden??

The Winter Banquet happens and well...it's dark. It's dark and Neil has brown hair and brown eyes and Smith has brown hair and brown eyes. Riko is not the best at judging heights so he calls Smith to threaten him and tell him that he's joining the Ravens for a Winter Break training camp. Jean is doing the most anyone has ever done not to laugh right now.

Riko only realizes his mistake when he's finished threatening Smith with his father and Smith ruins it. Smith is elated to have somewhere to stay over winter break. He can't mention he has nowhere to go so he'd thought he'd spend the break homeless. Now here comes Riko Moriyama inviting him to a camp where room and board will be provided?

What a nice guy. To thank him Smith compliments the gains he's noticed on Riko's ass. "The squats are really helping you, or are you doing something else?" he asks.

What the fuck is Riko supposed to do? ADMIT THAT HE FUCKED UP? Tell Smith that he's been doing squats and leg lifts before asking that he hand the tickets back and go get Neil???

Fuck that.

He'll just turn Smith against the Foxes and-

Well Riko kept talking about Smith's dead dad and so Smith may have a slight misunderstanding about the full scope of this training camp. He may think that there is some sort of seance element to it at this point and he's kind of excited at the idea of talking to his dad. "I've never spoken to a dead man before, this will be fun." and it's delivered flatly with no expression.

Riko starts to wonder if maybe Smith is the Butcher's son? Did the Butcher have two sons? He's sweating all the sudden.

It does not help that Smith brings a Ouija board to camp or that his dad was a legit Butcher before he died so Riko's tentative questioning only sends him further into an anxious mess about if Nathan had twins and Riko, due to being kept away from the family business, might just not be aware of it?

Smith has a nice Christmas break.

The last scene I've got dinging around in the noggin is in Binghamton. Smith has been left behind at many a stadium at this point. There's a solid and fast rule.

Neil cannot get on the bus without Smith. They are buddies. This is the buddy system. So when the riot starts and Neil seems to be getting pulled away in the crowd?

Well Smith grabs his hand and pulls him towards the bus, "Buddy system."

The bus starts and they're on their way shortly after. Neil's an anxious wreck but that next morning he wakes up to the news that the Butcher of Baltimore died in an FBI raid the night before as well as his men.

Smith watches the news with Neil, "Wow, that's scary." as he sips some orange juice.

[imtryingbuck]

Nine

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n L/n becomes Queen of Astoria not that she wanted to. Prince James of Winterfeld meets her and falls in love.

Word count: 3,026

Warnings: angst. fluff. swearing. my poor attempt at writing a battle scene. death. blood. reader is called barren and a cunt. beheading.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

Battles were no stranger to Y/n, nor she with them, she was in her element when she was on the battlefield. The thought of her death never scared her away from the fight, her only hope that she would die a warrior.

As the army prepared for the first fight that would be under their Queen, Bucky was trying to keep up with Y/n and Carlson as they talked strategy - even George couldn’t keep up with what the two were saying not like they were saying much, it was as if the two shared the same mind, one would speak then cut off looking at the other, the other nodding and saying what they thought.

George didn’t think twice in telling Y/n that his army would fight for her, Howard Stark told her that he would write home and get his army ready. But she didn’t want other kingdoms in something that was her fight, her mother called her mad for not accepting the help they were offering so she told George and Howard that their army could be there but they would be stood down until she said so.

Bucky and Carlson followed behind Y/n as she went into the stable where their horses had been prepared, two white horses were for them whilst the only black horse in the kingdom was hers. Her pride and joy, Storm.

With the crown upon her head Y/n made her way on top of Storm through the streets where everyone was waiting, her mum stood before her and pressed a kiss to Storms nose - an act she use to do for her late husbands horse Thunder, who happened to be Storms dad, it was her silent way of begging the large beautiful creature to take care of her loved one and bring them back home to her. Y/n smiled down at her mum as she moved aside to stand by her daughters and Winnie, as the gates came open Storm moved forward, behind her was Bucky on her left and Carlson on her right, George and Howard behind them and the army falling into line.

All was silent as they headed towards a battle that was about to happen all because a king didn’t like the fact that Y/n had turned his son down and agreed to marry another.

Everyone froze other than Y/n and Carlson when whistling was heard from the woods on either side of them, Bucky frowned as his mad woman whistled back. A man jumped down from his hiding spot in the tree and smiled up at Y/n.

“What’s the password my Queen?”

“Password?”

“Yes, I fear I cannot let you pass without one.”

“Very well. Is it… apples?”

“Yes! How did you know?”

“I’ve known you since we were children, apples was the password to your fort.” She leans over to stroke Storms face. “How many?”

The man takes out an apple out of his sack and gives it to Storm, and another for Willow - Carlson’s horse - then another for Winter - who Bucky was riding. And another two for Howard’s and George’s horses. “Outnumbered.”

“Us or them?”

“Us.”

“Right.”

“I have found us a place to set up camp not far from here, a lake is nearby for the horses.”

“Thank you Gus.”

Gus nods and leads the way to the camp, it doesn’t take long for everyone to get settled and food in their stomachs. Bucky watched as Y/n moved around the camp making sure everyone was alright, a smile tugging at his lips as he watched her press her forehead against Storms face, he was too lost in watching his betrothed that he didn’t realise Carlson had snuck up behind him.

“Do you really love her?”

“Shit! Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Do you?”

“I do. I really do.”

“I know you’re a prince and soon to be my king but I swear this to you now that if I ever find out you have hurt her I will not hesitate to kill you.”

“I do not want to hurt her, ever.”

“I know.” Taking a bite out of an apple that he had stolen from Gus’s sack, Carlson smirked at the prince. “I knew you were going to be the one who changed her mind the day you jumped into the circle.”

“Change her mind on what?”

“Love. Marriage. Realising her worth. Take a pick really.”

Looking over to where Y/n still stood with Storm he looked back to Carlson. “What do you mean?”

“But do not confuse her kindness for weakness, that would be your downfall.”

“Wha- Carlson…” Bucky was left alone by his tent feeling more confused than he had ever been before as Carlson walked away and joined a few men sitting around the fire.

His confusion didn’t last long as Y/n made her way over to him. “Are you okay?”

“I am. Are you?”

“Yes. I must apologise to you Bucky.”

“For what?”

“Every time we are together you seem to be caught up in my problems, for that I am sorry.”

Bucky placed his hand on hers and gave a soft squeeze. “You never need to apologise to me, I am here for you and your kingdom, always.”

“Thank you.” Squeezing his hand in the same soft way he had, she smiled softly up at him. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“For when we go against an army that we have been told we are outnumbered by? Yes I am ready, are you?”

“Always.”

Bucky chuckles with a slight shake of his head. “Please be careful and safe.”

“Always. And you the same, please.”

“Always.” Winking at her, he pulls her closer and wraps his arms around her. “I cannot wait to marry you.”

“We only have to wait one more week.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Bucky smiles softly and leans down to kiss her lips, he had grown addicted to the feeling of her lips being on his ever since they shared their first kiss.

Carlson found Y/n down by the river skimming rocks across the water, the sun hadn’t been up for long so he knew that she had either had a few hours sleep or didn’t sleep at all.

It was the latter.

Standing next to his best friend in complete silence watching as the stones slid across the water, the two turned to each other and nodded. It wasn’t a nod of greeting but a promise that if one of them didn’t survive the other would avenge their death, a silent promise to keep fighting even if they have to watch the other one go down.

Y/n carried a lot of guilt since the battle at Highland happened, one of the bloodiest and deadliest battlefields she had fought on, her father was losing and wasn’t listening to her when she told him she had a plan she begged and pleaded with him to listen to her and that they didn’t need to surrender like Jon was telling him to do. Half of his men were dead, the other half were struggling to stay on their feet. The sound of skin hitting skin rang out through the tent as everyone’s eyes went wide as they watched their kings hand collide with his daughter’s face. She looked up at her father and nodded the once before taking her leave, pushing through the men that were gathered there, if she couldn’t get him to listen to her, she’d make him watch.

Climbing on top of Storm she raced him towards where the battle was still raging on, a horn was blown on her side which signalled for the army to pull back, her father was surrendering. Y/n’s eyes found Carlson’s and the two shared a silent conversation, Carlson laughed before nodding, he waited for her to advance forward before joining her side, only a hand full of her fathers army joined the two crazy young warriors and carried on fighting.

Twelve warriors against over a hundred. Twelve warriors slowly winning. It wasn’t the plan she had in mind but it didn’t matter as they were winning. Pushing the enemy back she didn’t realise her father standing up on the hill watching in awe of his daughter, everything was going in their favour until Carlson cried out in pain. 

She faltered. Her heart dropped into the deepest darkest part of her body. When she turned around she watched her best friend, the other half to her, fall from his horse with an arrow sticking out of where it had embedded itself in his shoulder, without hesitating and thinking she turned Storm around slaying down the warrior who had his sword raised high as he hovered over Carlson, a sharp stinging pain came from her back and with a quick glance she saw an arrow in her.

“Y/n?” As she continues to skim the rocks across the water she hums then waits for him to find the right words. “Today- everything will be okay.”

“Today is pointless.”

“How do you mean?”

Cocking her head to the side she looks up at him. “People are going to die, on both sides, and for what? Because I decided to marry for love?” Gazing up at the sky watching as the birds fly towards the battlefield she smiles sadly. “Maybe I should call it all off to save many men from being killed.”

“No! No you cannot. Y/n, you cannot give up your own happiness and love just because a man cannot stand being told no.”

“Maybe I can learn to love him?”

“What about James?”

“I-I do not know.” Sighing as she picks at the skin around her nails. “He will find someone else I am sure of it.”

“It will not be the same, he truly loves you.”

Turning to face Carlson her hand comes up to tug on her braid. “So I just let so many men, good men, die?”

“Your men are willing and happy to fight for you, they know the chances of survival and yet here they all are.” Stepping closer to her he takes her hand in his and with his free hand he smooths out her braid. “Remember our first battle?”

“Yes b-but how is that relevant?”

“It was for a pointless reason, everyone knew that, but yet we all marched to the battlefield for your father and here we are doing the same thing.”

Trying to find the words she stares up at her best friend, their attention goes from one another to a voice from the side of them.

“You are our Queen, we all swore our oath to fight for you and to protect you. We are your soldiers, we know that we might not return home we just hope that our deaths will not be forgotten.”

Gus.

All her men were standing behind the man her and Carlson use to play with whenever she was able to get away from the castle, all of them nodding and smiling at her. Bucky was leaning against the tree with Steve and Sam next to him, a large smile on his face which only grows as she blushes when he winks at her.

“You are all crazy.” She laughs.

“All for our warrior Queen!” Gus shouted causing all of them to start beating their swords against their shields.

Bucky gulped at seeing Storm standing tall in front of Y/n, the large beast was covered in armour as he got closer to them he could see the spikes sticking out of the legs, even the head guard on his head had spikes. He truly looked terrifying.

“He looks ready. Can he even move?” Bucky chuckled.

“Of course he can.” She giggled. “According to Gus the army are already waiting for us.”

“We are ready whenever you are.”

“Please be safe.”

“Always. The same for you my love.”

Resting his forehead against hers he closed his eyes and imagined seeing her walk down the aisle on their wedding day, her dress being made fit only for the Queen herself - he would have the biggest smile on his face, that he was certain of. Neither one of them could fall today. He didn’t want to lose his mad woman and he didn’t want to let her down. Pulling away from her he gave her a soft smile then helped her up onto Storm before making his way over to Winter.

As Y/n led the way towards where the enemy was waiting for them Bucky noticed that it was only her and Carlson that was calm, their bodies were relaxed, he knew that they were in their element. He didn’t know whether to be worried or proud.

“We do not have to do this. We can walk away and go back to our families.” Y/n shouted, a massive gap between herself and the enemies army, she wanted to give the king the chance to back down and stop this petty fight from happening.

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at how she was in front of her own army - like she had told his mother that night of the feast - whilst the king who declared this war against her was on top of his own horse hiding behind his soldiers.

“Are you scared, barren bitch?”

“Trembling with fear.” She winks at him. “Very well.”

Bucky had long lost sight of Y/n and Carlson as he fought alongside Steve and Sam, his arms were beginning to ache with each swing of his sword but like the enemy he wasn’t backing down. His head started to throb with each war cry, with each cry of pain, with each clash of swords against swords. His clothes stuck to him like a second skin, blood staining his face and in his hair. 

They were massively outnumbered yet Y/n still didn’t call upon George or Howard and their army, because despite being outnumbered they were winning, Bucky had to admit that he was in awe of her men - the way they fought as one, the way they weren’t letting the enemy push them back. He looked up and gulped. He didn’t recognise the woman he had fallen in love with, her face held no emotion as Storm charged his way through the enemy - the spikes on his armour catching them causing them to scream in agony. His warrior Queen, his mad woman, was covered in blood and going straight for the king who was screaming for his men to take her down.

“SHIELD WALL! SHIELD WALL!” He heard one of her men yell, through the gap he saw that Y/n didn’t flinch or even stop as a hail of arrows came flying down upon them.

When the shields were finally moved out of his sight he watched in horror and panic when a soldier from the other side charged towards Y/n, knocking her off of Storm, Bucky had never moved so fast in his life. His sword cutting his enemy down as if they were nothing as he pushed his way through the crowd in order to get to his love. Storm was running around in circles slaying the enemy down, trying to keep them away from his rider.

“Y/n!” Avoiding Storms wrath and spikes, he got closer to her, not knowing if the blood on her was her own or someone else’s. “Y/n? P-please wake up!”

“No, I am taking a nap.” She opened one eye and smiled up at him.

“In the middle of a battle?”

“Yes.”

“Can you move? Are you hurt?”

“Yes and no.” Getting up with a groan she stretched and smiled at him.

“Where is Carlson?”

“Doing his thing. Do not worry.” Getting Storm she nods up to Bucky. “Get on him.”

“What?”

“Do you trust me?”

Without missing a beat or with any hesitation he said. “Yes.”

“Then get on Storm and head south until you see Carlson. Please.”

“Okay. What about you?”

“I will be fine, I promise.”

Bucky does as she says, and with a heavy heart he leaves Y/n behind as he heads south until he sees Carlson with men he didn’t recognise. “James?”

“Y/n told me to come to you.”

“Shit. Shit!”

“What?”

Before Carlson could reply they heard a horn bellow from the other side of the woods. “Shit! Okay. Okay, James stay by my side.”

“What is going on?”

“The plan was for us to surround the king but Y/n was meant to be here.”

“What do we do now?”

“Go with the plan. Y/n is smart, she knows what she is doing. Let’s move.”

As they got closer to where the king was still watching the scene unfold, they saw a figure moving quickly towards the king, Bucky and Carlson shared a look - knowing exactly who it was. Once they surrounded the man who had caused this whole thing to happen all because Y/n had decided to marry for love, Bucky watched as Y/n made her way through the crowd with her head held high, blood covering her from head to toe, a smile on her lips.

“Get off the horse.” She told the king. Cocking her head to the side when he didn’t move. “I said get-“

“I will not bow down to you!”

“I am not asking you to bow down to me?”

“You are a barren bitch! A blood thirsty cunt!”

“And yet this whole battle was because I would not marry your son despite me being barren and a blood thirsty cunt. Funny that.” Swinging her sword around she smiles up at him. “Surrender or lose your head.”

“I will not surrender!”

“Then get off your fucking horse!”

He laughs.

He laughs like he just heard the most funniest joke.

He laughs and gets down off the horse.

He laughs as he takes his sword from his side.

He laughs as he comes closer to her.

Before he could raise his sword, Y/n swings her own, his laughter comes to a stop along with his life, his headless body drops to his knees before dropping down.

“His laughter was doing my head in.”

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[just-some-random-blogger]

Edge Of Ever After | 5

Part 1 2 3 4

Sandor runs his fingers down my spine and sighs, "everything I ever touch goes to shit." He grabs my hip and pulls me close. I turn to him and nestle my face into his chest. He traps me in his arms, "but you... you turn my shit into gold."

Sandor Clegane x Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, mentions of pregnancy/fertility issues, sunshine x grump, enemies to lovers (to enemies ? HAHA), slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, horrible communication, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: im updating this on here solely because of @thatawkwardlittlefangirl's reblogs n tags. hi cutie i see you. i hope you enjoy!!! you reminded me i have to finish this story and i swear i will T_T. | cross posted on ao3

"W-where are you going?"

"To find someone to bring my things downstairs," I huff as I gather my skirts and head for the door.

"I can bring them down!" he urges, making me turn to him as he grabs the bags and picks them from the floor. Sandor slings the satchels on him and grabs up the rest, looking at me for further instruction. I face front and exit the room. I feel him follow closely after me.

Once I get down, I am met with a busy first floor. I dawns on me at this moment that I probably looked distressed and teary eyed. I wipe my face and fix my hair. I make myself smile as I walk towards the front door, looking for Trysha or one of her sons.

The Hound follows after me. He stands beside me and I sidestep to keep a good distance between us.

He clears his throat but his voice still cracks, "I'll rea-dy the horses."

I do not watch him as he walks off; I hover by the open door to what I assumed to be the kitchen.

Just then, Trysha comes out carrying a tray of food. She beams at me and I pull my cheeriest smile in return.

"Anything you need, milady?"

I shake my head, "no. I simply wanted to say that we cannot wait for our laundry."

"Oh. But I-"

"If it is agreeable to you, we will come back for it on our return."

Trysha raises her brows and nods her head slowly, "of course, lady."

I press my lips into a smile, "Lord Clegane and I will take our leave. I thank you for your hospitality."

Trysha wishes to reply but she does not get the opportunity.

I head outside, feeling my chest tighten with sadness and resentment. I think of my pups; oh, how I long to have them doting on me, licking my skin, whining for my attention. How foolish I was for even finding a morsel of annoyance in them. I regretfully catch a glimpse of the Hound, who was buckling up his ride. My belly curdles.

I ignore him as I head to the stable. I take deep breaths to calm myself. I rub my horse's snout once I am close enough, imagining it was Sage, or Lilac, or Rose who I was petting instead. Not even a second later, my eyes water and my lips tremble. Perhaps I am greedy in wishing to have children of my own. Perhaps I was meant to only care for animals. Or perhaps I was not meant to be loved this way.

My horse neighs and nudges me. I slightly topple back, yet somehow the action soothes me.

"Need some help, lady?" a deep but chirpy voice asks.

I panic and sniffle, wiping my face in a hurry. Before I know it, a large man comes to my side, and it is made clear my smile does not hide my sorrow, as the expression of the man slips into concern when he gazes upon my features.

It was Ian that stood before me. It seemed he was in a good mood until he saw my face. It makes me feel even more dreadful than I already was.

I sniffle and offer a chuckle, "yes. I would appreciate the assistance." I wipe my face, "I'm terribly horrible at saddling on my own."

Ian examines my body, then looks past me. He hardens when he sees the Hound staring back at him. The said man is visibly on edge, in fact he looks distraught or even guilty. Ian clenches his fists and turns back to me, "are you well?"

I feign ignorance, and quickly realize my mistake at how the man clenches his jaw in return.

"Has he hurt you?"

I raise my brows at him and smile softly, "do not ask such silly que-"

"I'm not 'fraid of him, " Ian cuts me off, unabashedly glaring back at the perceived villain, "my brothers and I can ta-"

"Do not jest over such things," I blurt sternly, "you will not lay your hands upon my husband, do you understand?"

Ian turns to me.

"You must cease your talk of such gruesome horrors," I wave a hand, "it will do you well to practice peace."

"Peace is a pleasure only afforded by the rich, milady."

I shake my head, "I say to you, you will find less peace in riches. Greedy people are always in unrest."

My own words shatter my heart. I feel like a hypocrite. I feel like I am deserving of my predicament. I battle with my mind and thankful do not burst into tears. I manage to look back at Ian with a neutral expression.

We stare at each other for a moment. I offer him my hand and he takes it, finally helping me up my horse. He guides me up, then hoist me by my waist. In the simple action, I am made aware of his strength. I begin to wonder what the chances of him and his brothers against my husband were. I banish the thought.

Once I am sat upon my ride, I look down and press my lips into a smile, "thank you, Ian."

Ian looks up at me, nodding, "milady." He hands me my reins and brushes my horse's neck. He speaks softly, as not to be conspicuous, "are ye certain about your lord?"

My brows furrow slightly.

"Aye, it's not my business, but a woman should never weep."

My heart squeezes at his sentiment. I shake my head and reach out, placing my hand on his shoulder, "I weep for my pups."

Ian looks up at me.

"I have 3 that I left at home. I do miss them terribly."

Though it was not a lie, at least not entirely, it was clear that Ian did not believe me. He had made his mind up about what he would believe and so nothing but that can wipe away his doubt. And yet, Ian nods again then leads the horse out of the stable.

When I look up, I see the Hound already mounted on his own horse. We are reunited and my belly pinches and rolls at our proximity. I have to tell remind myself that the sooner we leave, the sooner I can ignore him. I cannot bring even myself to smile at him for show, or look at him for long, as tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I turn back to Ian instead and clear my throat before speaking, "I thank you again for your help, Ian."

Ian looks up at me.

"Your family's inn is a treasure. I pray the gods will grant you blessings and success."

"And I pray they give you peace, Lady Clegane," Ian replies, pulling away from my horse. He turns to Sandor, "may the Father punish the wicked those who wish you anything but."

The Hound's horse becomes restless.

I take this as a sign to begone. I spare Ian one last look before we ride off, "give your family my regards."

Ian bows. He offers me a smile. It drops and gis expression darkens when he turns to Sandor, who rides off before me to lead the way.

Sandor enjoyed the quiet, but the quiet in this travel was unbearable. His head so badly wanted to turn over his shoulder to check on his wife, to make sure that you were still there, to see how you were doing, but he told himself the sound of your horse's hooves where enough. When he caught the sound of your soft mewls, your soft sniffles and whimpers, he knew he didn't deserve to look. He'd made you cry again.

Again. And again. And again.

And now the night began to cover the land. It didn't look like there would be any inns to chance upon anytime soon. When Sandor caught sight of a lake, he decided it would be good to stay here for the night.

"We'll stop here," the Hound says, not expecting a reply.

He leads his ride to the lake and dismounts. He rubs the creatures face and steals a glance your way. You were cautiously getting off your horse... struggling.

"Fuck," he mutters and purses his lips. He battles with himself on whether or not he should help you.

Fuck it. He goes up to you and helps you down. Thankfully, you do not protest, nor do you wrangle out of his touch. When you get on your feet, you mutter something he doesn't catch.

Again, he hesitates, but he manages to mutter, "what was that?"

You turn to him. It's wholly apparent you had been crying. He feels horrid.

"I-"

"Thank you," you struggle to say through a clogged nose.

He freezes.

"I want to bathe," you walk back.

Sandor nods, "I'll hel-"

"Do not follow me," you raise a finger.

That comes to him like a punch in the gut. He feels like his heart was being pierced in every which way. He watches as his love walks away from him. He watches as his wife goes to the lake. He watches as she undresses herself. He turns away when she sees the bare skin of her shoulder.

He decides to gather some firewood nearby, never straying enough that his lady was no longer visible. He is lucky to find enough twigs to build a fire. By the time he's set one up, the moon was shining down upon earth, leaving a glow. He has more than once seen your skin under moon light, but in this moment, he has to banish the thought, lest the temptation to see you becomes unbearable.

You sink into the shallow lake, looking up at the sky, gazing at the full moon. The water was cold, and you were being chilled to the bone, but you invited the numbing sensation; it matched what your mind felt. You only decide to get out because your teeth began to chatter.

Sluggishly, you emerge from the water and frown at the towel waiting for you beside your clothes. You look out to your husband and find that he is sat by the fire, back turned to you. You shiver and hurriedly wipe yourself down and get dressed.

Just as you were about to walk towards your camp- "Milady!" you hear from not too far off.

"Ian?"

Sandor gazes at the fire, lost in thought, lost in life. He contemplates how long it will take for him to be forgiven, if he is worthy to be forgiven at all. He wonders how calloused he must be not to foresee the hurt it would stab upon your heart. His turmoil makes his head heavy, literally; he so badly wishes to shut his eyes and sleep, yet he cannot bring himself to do anything about it. And then, he hears whispers.

He brushes it off, thinking perhaps you were speaking to yourself. But then he the voices gets louder, and soon be realizes you were speaking to someone.

The Hound looks over his shoulder and sees you speaking to a large man. Immediately, his sleepiness if washed away and he is overcome with fight instincts. His face contorts as he grabs his sword and marches over to you.

Once he is close enough, he recognizes the man you were speaking to. It was the man from the inn, from the fucking stables. He draws his sword out of its sheath, immediately on the offense. His vein nearly pops when the stupid cunt readies to unsheathe his own weapon.

"Stop it!" you exclaim, walking towards him to press your hand on his chest.

Sandor's gaze is fixed upon you. Your hateful expression makes his brows knit in hurt.

"Both of you!" you snap to the other, "go home, Ian."

The Hound's anger flares, "the fuck is he even doing here?!" he steps forward, "how long have you been following us?"

Ian steps forward as well, but you also push him back, "stop it-"

"I know men like you," Ian mutters with venom, "you go 'round doing and takin' what pleases you because no one can stop you."

"Oh," the Hound chuckles dryly, "and will that-"

"STOOOOP!"

The two of them turn to you after let out the gut curling scream. You heave as bitter tears cloud your eyes and streak down your face. They both watch as you crumble into tears.

"Or perhaps I should just let you kill each other?!" you quip, "it's not like you're doing this for me because here you are saying you want to protect me but do not wish to listen to me, and you are doing the same in the name of love or whatever you fool yourself to believe it is! No, you fools only listen to yourselves because you can only love yourself!"

Needless to say, the two are frozen where they stand.

Ian is the first to try and explain himself. It falls deaf to your ears, and eventually he is off with his tail between his legs. As much as the Hound is pleased to see him go, he is not content to turn away until he is no longer in view. That is, until he notices you shaking with anger and frustration. He calls out your name carefully.

You hiss, "I've told you my piece," then shake your head slowly, "I do not have the energy to continue."

"I know," he grabs your arm, "but I-'

The sound of your sigh dries up his words. In this moment, he realizes your arm is limp in his clutch. You are not fighting him off because you are exhausted. That stupid fuck... he was right.

He releases you, "forgive me, I-"

"Tomorrow."

He clenches his jaw.

"We shall speak tomorrow. Tonight we sleep."

You stare at each other for what feels like forever. He nods, "good n-"

You walk past him, heading towards the campfire.

Sandor and I eat in silence. We were now at the nearby port eating freshly baked bread from a bakery in the marketplace. I promised him we would talk after breaking fast so that my hunger would not get ahead of me. I was rather prone to irritation when I had an empty stomach. Presently, we sat on the stairs just by the one of the docks, watching men come in with their catches of fish or imports.

I savor the last bit of bread I have before turning to Sandor, who had long finished his share. He turns to me, then back to the splashing waves. He shifts awkwardly and clears his throat.

"Sandor," I start, releasing a sigh.

He turns back to me. He carefully speaks my name.

"Our beginnings were... unpleasant," I mutter lowly, not trusting my voice enough to speak moderately, lest it break, "our union was borne from the mockery of King Joffrey and yet... here we are." I turn to my hands and rub them together, "I am your wife. My duty is with you, but-"

Sandor's throat constricts when the explanation is cut short.

I turn to him and feel like retching. It's as though there is rock that wishes to dislodge itself from my mouth. It takes a few long, gruelling moments for me to finally speak up, "Sandor, I care deeply for you."

Sandor faces body towards me

My eyes begin to water as we stare at each other, "I love you so terribly that the suggestion that you do not feel the same makes me want to rip the hairs on my head."

His face slips. He hesitates. His hand twitches. He tries to reach out for me but he decides against it. He purses his lips, "I would die for you."

My brows furrow. Tears fog my vision, "that is not the same as lov-"

"I love you," he blurts through a whisper, "and little else."

"Do you think I want your love for me to kill you?" I mumble as sadness overtakes my expression, "do you think that I want you to suffer for my sake?"

He takes a second but he slowly shakes his head.

"I want you to live for me," I squeeze his arm, "live with me. I want to know your woes. I want to help- and- and-... I want you to help me," I pinch my fingers and turn to my lap, "I don't want you chose for me because you think it's better, no more that you'd want me to do the same."

Sandor feels his chest tighten. He wants to speak but he does not.

I look up at him, cheeks wet with salt, "I don't want to be... alone when we're together... I don't want us to continue playing games for each other's sake when neither of us will enjoy the fruits it'll bear. I do not want us to assume our own suffering will benefit the other."

He feels like he is being eaten from the inside out. He hesitates to touch me. I take his hand and place it on my cheek, "embrace me when I weep... I beg of you."

The Hound no longer thinks twice. He reaches for me, arms coming around me body. He pulls me onto his lap and holds me against him. I slip between his thighs and bring my face into his neck. I take in his warmth, his scent, his feel. He rubs my arm and mutters softly, "my poor wife... forgive me."

I pull my head back and frown. His cheeks are damp and I wipe them dry, "forgive me, my poor husband."

Sandor sniffles, "I do not like hurting you."

"Neither do I," I sigh and frown, "perhaps we are doomed in tragedy."

He brushes my hair behind my ear, "perhaps I am your tragedy."

I swipes my lips when they wobble. 

A line forms between his brows.

"Your unkindness to yourself is just as painful as your unkindness to me," I whine, "if you are my tragedy then I am yours. What else have I done but vex and burden you?"

Sandor rubs my arms, "you have made me a home."

My heart races. My breath catches in my throat.

"You are my home," he adds just as I mutter the exact words back to him.

A moment passes of us simply taking each other's sad expression before we break into soft chuckles. Sandor leans his forehead onto my shoulder and kisses my collarbone. I turn to him and kiss his lips.

"From now on, do not make your mind before speaking it to me," I say, "and I will not make mine before speaking it to you. Agreed?"

Sandor pulls me into a tight hug and nods against my neck, "agreed."

I embrace him back, but gasp when I hear a bell tolling. A loud announcement that one of the ships will be leaving makes me break away from him and get to my feet. Sandor immediately follows suit and grabs our things as I hurry over to the ship heading for Volantis.

Only it's not the ship heading for Volantis and one headed to Lannisport.

I freeze in my place and turn to Sandor, who was already looking at me. I wipe my face and give a guilty look, "forgive me. I thought-"

"We should get more bread while we're waiting. I'm still hungry."

I purse my lips and nod. I take his arm and we both head back to the bakery.

Sandor is conscious of my hold on him, "do like holding me while walking?"

His question makes me tense, "I do. W-why? Do you not like it?"

"I like it," he secures my hand on his arm, "I just have never walked like this before. Normally, I walk 5 paces behind."

I let out a breath of relief, "well, you will not need to do that with me, not unless you want to."

"I do not."

I nod, "I am glad. I do not want you so far from me either."

It did not take long after we bought some more bread for us to board the ship. Sandor and I managed to hitch a ride with a trader that was set for Volantis.

Upon boarding, we were brought below the ship, along with the rest of the other passengers who wanted to hitch a ride. In truth, the area was not so bad; it did smell of market, of animal and vegetables, but it was nothing too foul. And yet, it didn't take long for my stomach to begin to react, and my ever-so-keen husband immediately caught on to my affliction.

We had settled ourselves by some crates, apart from the other passengers, but not so far away that we were isolated. Sandor had prepared a makeshift bed for me that we were both presently sat on. I was trying to take a nap but my fussing had turned his bored expression into that of concern.

"Squirrel?" he mutters, shifting to face me.

I ignore him and rest my head on his arm.

His brows furrow, "are you uncomfortable?"

I grunt, "I'm bored."

It's clear he does not believe me, given the fact he pushes my hair away and examines my face. Just as he was speak again, my stomach makes a sound and I slap my hand on my mouth.

"Are you seasick?" he asks, taking my wrist, rubbing it with his thumb.

I look at him and bite my lip. I shrug and rub my nose, "I have been on ships before. I did not get seasick... I think, perhaps, it is the smell."

Sandor knits his brows.

"Do not worry. I will eventually get used to it."

I rub his hand, soothing both him and I with the action.

He does not seem soothed though, and soon, I am craning my neck up to look at him as he stands. I furrow my brows then widen my eyes when he hands me his sword.

"I-"

"Stab anyone that gets too close."

"Sando-"

"I'll talk to the captain."

I watch him walk off in confusion. It was not like there was anywhere else we could go on the ship. What could he possibly need to talk to the captain about?

"Is he your ward, lady?" a voice asks from not too far to my left. I turn and see a middle aged woman and her two kids, sleeping on her lap.

I smile at her, "he is my lord husband."

 Her face falls in shock, "he is?"

My face scrunches in offence at her shock, but I decide not to answer in hostility. I pull a smile and bring Sandor's sheathed sword into my chest.

"May the lord of light grant you peace in your marriage," she says.

I turn away from her and scoff under my breath at the implication I did not already have peace... And what if I don't? My marriage is none of her concern.

A few moments of silence later, I feel my stomach reacting again, so I try and will myself to sleep. I lean against our bags and bury my face into the clothes to mask the scent of the area. It doesn't help though; I only feel suffocated. I sit up once I hear heavy footsteps approaching.

Sandor reemerges and immediately reaches a hand out for me once he is close. I look up at him and take his hand. He helps me stand then grabs our bags and his sword. We wordlessly walk off and find ourselves back on the deck. I look at my husband's broad back and take in the smell of sea salt. It doesn't really refresh me as much as I hoped. I frown when he seems to head off to other stuffy room of the ship. I take in a deep breath as Sandor opens the door for me.

I let out my breath in surprise when I see the room is not, in fact, another part of the hull, or whatever you call the bottom part of the ship, and instead, someone's personal quarters.

I turn to Sandor as he closes the door and puts our things down. It doesn't take long for me to figure this was probably the captain's room, based on the maps. "Are we going to speak to the captain?"

Sandor steps forward, and just then, a rough wave hits the ship. We quickly grab each other for balance. His hands squeeze my arms and my hands grip the sides of his shirt.

The towering man looks down at me and states for a moment. He takes a deep breath and rubs my arms, "you're so beautiful."

I raise my brows at this and pout when I see his solemn expression. I walk forward and press against him. I rub his belly, "thank you, puppy."

He embraces me and presses his cheek on the top of my head, "I've missed you."

I frown and tighten my arms around him, "forgive me."

"Forgive me," he mutters, "I don't like upsetting you."

I look up at him, "I am no longer upset," I brush his beard, "and, if it means anything, I know, deep down you mean well... even when what you think is well ends up hurting me-"

"I am s-"

"-hurting us," I caress his cheek.

I can already feel him about to apologize, so I stop him before he can speak by sealing his lips with mine.

His reaction is immediate. His hands rub down my back and he bends down to deepen our kiss. Before I know it, he's picking me up and lying me on the bed. Soon, my skirt is pushed past my knees and he's slotted between my legs.

My heart begins to race when he kisses down my neck, but that's when I remember where we were. I gasp and push him off, "Sandor!'

The Hound's eyes widen as he pulls back.

I sit up, "we cannot here," I sit up and fix my skirt. I look around the bed, "if we were to get caught-"

"We're not going to-"

"Why did you wish to speak to the captain anyway?" I move off the bed, hands coming to his shoulders, "I don't think he can give us a room if there are no rooms to give."

Sandor pulls me into him by my waist, "that's why I bought his room."

"You what?" I raise a brow.

He brings his face into my neck and kisses my pulse, "I would not let my poor squirrel suffer."

I brush my hands up his face as he frowns, "not any more."

I rub his cheeks, "my love, I do not suffer because of you. Twas the smell... and frankly," I rub my belly, "I fear it still lingers."

He rubs my sides, "are you still uncomfortable?"

"I feel like perhaps any moment I could retch, and yet I won't, which makes it worse."

"I can distract you," he offers firmly then whispers, "please."

I chuckle under my breath and brush our noses together, "what if I vomit on you?"

"Then I'll eat it up like the dog I am," he kisses my cheek, making me laugh.

"Oh, my lord. If I vomited as we coupled, I fear I would never want to couple with you again."

Sandor pulls away, face stunned.

I chuckle and, as if to prove a point, my stomach begins to churn and I feel queasy. I pull away from him and lie on the bed. I pat the area beside me, beckoning him over, "perhaps you can tell me a story."

The bed dips as Sandor comes to my side, "I'm not a story teller, and I fear my stories will only make your soft belly sicker."

I roll over and press myself on him, our chests were now against each other, "what about your travels? Surely you've been tasked to travel to places unknown to the likes of me."

He brushes my hair back, "most of what comes to mind are grubby and bloody memories."

I frown, "forgive me. I do not mean to bring back such scenes."

"Speak no apologies. In fact, I should thank you. You've changed that for me," he brushes my lips, "you've changed that."

I press my lips into a line, "... would you like to know about where I grew up?"

"Brownwood?"

I shake my head, "no, with my aunt and uncle, where I met Lucy."

He grunts, "mmm, let me guess, you found Lucy in a filthy alleyway on your way home to your uncle's pretty castle?"

"..."

He brings one hand behind his head and raises his brow, lips curved up in amusement, "hit the nail on the head with that one, aye?"

A line forms between my brows, "Lucy was sold to a brothel as a child."

Sandor's face goes blank.

"I met her I was eight," I tilt my head, "did you know she's a winter younger than I?"

He opens his mouth and slowly trails off, "no."

"All my cousins were boys and they were all much older than me. I had expected them to treat me like my brothers but they were too caught up in squiring and roughhousing to play dollies with me," I pay his chest, "and no, I did not find her in a filthy alleyway. I was picking flowers and she had been hiding in the bushes. She was on the run."

A guilty expression forms on Sandor's face.

I smile to myself, "in truth, I was very selfish. I saw her and spoke to her about dollies then decided I would take her home with me. I hid her in my room and bathed her and fed her so that I could have someone to play with," I chuckle, "it was a wonder I hid her as long as I did, considering her blabbermouth."

He snorts in amusement and rubs my arm.

"I was so afraid my aunt would throw her away if she was caught, but the gods kept us together. She has been my dearest friend for as long as I can remember. I am forever responsible for her, so..." I draw circles on his chest, "be kind to my Lucy."

He knits his brows and takes my hand.

I watch him as he kisses my knuckles.

"She is an annoying creature."

I grumble, "Hound."

"I will do my best to tolerate her."

I sigh, "very well."

"She has guarded you just as well as you have guarded her. I am glad you found each other."

I feel my stomach curdle when a wave makes the room teeter. I groan and bury my face into his neck, "your turn... please."

He wraps his arms around me and hums. He thinks and rubs my back, "I... rode a horse in a field once."

"Just once?"

"... many times, actually."

"Mmm..." I release a breath, "what were the flowers there that one instance?"

"... uhh... there were no flowers."

"Where were you going?"

"... somewhere ..."

"... I see... Were you meeting someone?"

"... I... I don't remember... I think I- ... no..."

I wrap my arms around him, "a lovely tale, husband."

"... the horse was brown."

[ceoofhelaegon]

Otto sucks. Alicent sucks. They calling Jaehaerys "that child" and trying to use him as tool. Only Aegon and Helaena cares about his son's death

Otto angrier at Aegon for hanging some ratcatchers but not Aemond who killed his nephew starting a bloody war is baffling. Even just last episode Otto was sympathetic to Aemond after he killed Luke and giving Alicent shade over not letting him send Kingsguards after Rhaenyra. Now this episode he apparently relearned how to care about the optics enough again, and gives more of a shit about some rat catchers than the death of his own great-grandson.

Nonnies, I will have to rinse Otto and Alicent here.

I used to be ride or die for Alicent and even used to defend Otto against people that said he didn't care about his family, but it seems that they were right.

The absolute 180 Otto did about optics, was infuriating. And I have no idea why the WHOLE of Kingslanding would turn against Aegon? I can see the families, but the Prince was brutally murdered?! People don't forget that easily, they SAW his little body, and that scene was so sad.

That was absolutely disgusting, Aegon was correct, they shouldn't do the funeral. Both mother and father didn't want this, but they used Aegon's grief and pain to manipulate him into doing what they wanted and the fact that Alicent only interjected when Otto said that Alicent would be there as well? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

The fact that this was the first time we've seen Helaena voicing her opinion and go against something, she is not listened to and has to do something completely out of her comfort zone.

And then, after all of this shit show Otto has the AUDACITY to say that Viserys was good king?! EXCUSE ME?! Do you mean the absolute waste of oxygen that was the reason WE ARE ALL IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I cheered when he was fired.

Using Aegon's most vulnerable weak spot, after his dead son, to say that Viserys was right about Aegon?! RIGHT ABOUT WHAT?! Did Viserys even acknowledge Aegon besides when he was a baby? He was right about Aegon not existing?!

Otto was a straight up psychopath this episode and I have no idea if I will like his character again, I will enjoy seeing him because Rhys Ifans is great, but other than that? Nope, to the bin with Otto.

Oh, and my girl Helaena...suffering so much and has to listen to her mother talking about having sex?! Literally NO ONE cares, I have no idea what they are doing with Alicent this season but I am not liking it.

And now to the worse scene I have seen, Alicent leaving Aegon whilst he is breaking down about his son being butchered in his bed. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! And I cannot take the 'she never got it from her father, that is why she can't do it' excuse because she CAN comfort Helaena, she CAN comfort Aemond as we've seen before, and Otto did try to comfort her, he puts his hands on her shoulders and SHE rejects him. So she IS capable of comforting people just not Aegon?

Surprisingly, Criston is the least bad of the bunch. He wasn't responsible for Helaena and the children and the WHOLE FLOOR having absolutely NO ONE, not even a maid is a plot hole, it doesn't matter what the writers say. As Aegon said, at least Criston has acted, even if it wasn't the best plan in the world, but it almost worked?

OH MY GOD, I JUST REMEMBERED.

Otto acting holier than thou about the plan, when his dumbass didn't ask Westerling to do the EXACT SAME THING?! The HYPOCRISY?!

Yeah, but we need to get helaegon and Jaehaera away from this whole mess, let them grieve in peace and have Maelor.

[moonshynecybin]

Do you think the ranch visit 2014 ended with like slightly annoyed sex because Vale just annoyed with Marc beating his record but also slightly admiring him

i love this because its true. marc is ANNOYING ! of course it cannot be ignored that vale is ALSO annoying (max biaggi fight. hello.) like they match each others freak in that regard, but at what point do you look at this sexy ass twink who is obsessed with your dick and your bike (sex to vale. is motorcycle racing lest we forget he keeps that m1 in GROPING distance and marc is like GOD i wish that were me so it does. work comma sexually. for them. like a lot. but i digress) and obsessed with your ability to ride it and be like hmm. maybe this habit is NOT so cute. when beforeeee you thought hey hes just like MEEEEE and got HORNY about it. well obviously if youre vale it is when he doesnt let you win at your own goddamn track at your own goddamn house in front of your own goddamn brother and various peers. that shit is irritating. which i do think marc realizes now, but is also largely unrepentant about because he's hilarious. free my girl he did all that but it was funny. our marc not famous for his wealth of tact and restraint on the track. and vale is thirty six staring down one last chance to maybe win his tenth. and earlier that week when he beat marc at that karting event he said finally somewhere you dont win. so yeah when marc doesnt roll over and let him get the lap record that day in 2014 all of those endearing traits where they overlap and are similar. change. morph. arent so cute anymore. the light shifts. the music hits a minor chord. ominous. foreshadowing. chekov's gun carefully being placed on the wall. and suddenly. kind of a theme with them huh. vale hates him for all the things he learned from vale.

so. we are here to ask how that emotion translates to nasty sex. obviously. like all of these complex emotions do NOT mean that vale does not want to get his dick sucked lmao. like he's here he's thirsty marc's been in a tiny little titty huggin black tshirt all day its happenin. AND. it should be noted that in a very real sense this is their first sleepover. first time fr hanging out outside the paddock in a place where there is PRIVACY. no real REPORTERS. an actual locking DOOR. no way to hide from the fact that theyve been all over each other for like TWO YEARS now. AND multiple yamaha M1S that can be used as somewhat SEXUAL PROPS. (vale feeling also perhaps. emotionally complex here. a lil delicate. like YEAH i can invite my coworkers i like to hang at my track thats bro stuff but what about my years long situationship that —*static noises in vale's brain* like remember this is where MARC thinks things start to change between them...)

so yeah vale ends up like. amping up that competitive edge a little in bed. making this a fuckbuddy thing more than a RELATIONSHIP thing as much as he can in his head and with his hands and failing miserably and feeling even WEIRDER about that. so he's. i think he's working hard at putting marc where he wants him. hot hands a little rougher on the curve of marc's waist. cupping his ass making him gasp. sending him to his knees and making him suck his dick hot and nasty. teasing a little edging on the little feminine nicknames theyve never talked about but that make marc squirm and flush prettily. edging marc with three fingers in his ass while he whines for it. dragging it out. exerting a little control. not mean at all everyone is having fun (marc. out of his MIND.) just. excising some tension. its probably nothing hes just in his head. holding marc in his hands as he looks up at him. and marc trusting it. marc going. marc being just where vale wants him. just like he never does on the track. and marc thinks everything is fine when its happening thinks everything is AMAZING. but after that is when vale starts to go a little cold......

[rustfoxes]

Disjointed DAtVG feelings/opinions

I've played the game for a bit, I'm not too far in yet, and honestly? I hope it gets better. Spoilers & venting below as you might guess.

Everything seems to be tell, don't show. There's very, VERY little trust in the player. Characters happen upon a ruined village? "The village is ruined! There's no one here!" Yes, we can see that. Character looks upset? Text pops up on screen to tell you that IN FACT!! Character is upset. Couldn't have guessed.

Everything is explained out loud immediately, except the arguably actually important things. If I remember correctly, there's no mention of the 10 year (?) timeskip from DAI, everyone just now knows everything about elven magic and the Fade and the Veil EXCEPT FOR THE PLAYER. None of that is explained! New players are expected to just know, which in some games works, but when you throw characters into a magical forest and say it's Arlathan forest, how tf are they supposed to know what Arlathan is.

Why is Varric a brunette all of a sudden

Characterisation of returning characters is fucking wild. Fun, jokey Harding? Massive chip on her shoulder and real aggressive for some reason. Soft-spoken and measured Solas? Yelling, again, for some damn reason. Where is his iambic pentameter? And he hates blood magic all of a sudden?? Did the writers play the earlier games at all? Solas SPECIFICALLY says in DAI that blood magic has no morality to it and is merely a tool.

The game is linear to the extent that I cannot for the life of me see the point of the game asking you to wrap up unfinished business before moving forward. What unfinished business? You've locked us into a small room with 0 exits and 1 chest. There is no business.

So far there's been zero time for any of the story to breathe. There are no story beats, because the drum machine that is the pacing just keeps hammering on. The gravity of the situation has no time to set in for anyone. THE ACTUAL GODS OF MYTH HAVE BEEN BUST OUT OF GOD-JAIL. THIS IS A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM. "Yeah, well, people would've died if Solas hadn't been stopped from tearing down the Veil." And this is preferable???? What the actual fuck. DAI Solas wanted to rebuild and to safe-guard his people. TWO of the people he wanted to PROTECT EVERYONE FROM are now out. But oh man, that Solas, he would've hurt folks. You think the wondertwins won't? Jesus fucking Christ.

The gameplay more or less just completely scraps character classes. Playing a mage rn and for some damn reason she has separate ranged attacks. What the actual fuck. What is the point of making people choose a class if a damn mage has to stand next to enemies to attack?

So far doesn't feel like an RPG at all. Starts in media res which is fine, but your character is already established as a cool hero and an important figure. Why? Why weren't we along for that ride?

Character movement is janky af, DAI was much smoother 10 damn years ago. Hopefully they'll somehow manage to fix it.

Either they needed better actors or a much better voice director, because holy shit is the dialogue awkward and halting and just... no.

Writers have clearly had shoes far too large to fill. Dialogue wants to be funny and witty and clever. It is not. Specially not with the phoned in voice acting.

Where have my Welsh/Irish elves gone? Wtf happened there? Also why wasn't there anyone around to tell the actors how to pronounce the elvhen words??

Why the fuck is the rogue our healer.

All quests so far have been walking from A to B, collecting some coins along the path, and then fighting 5 or 10 enemies. No variation at all.

Idk man, I really hope the game will find its legs as it goes on, but so far? Massively underwhelming and honestly quite disappointing. Absolutely does not feel like DA. People critisised DA2 for being rushed and DAI for a whole host of shit, but at least I felt like I was playing a Dragon Age game.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

March 5th

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1. I’m pretty sure the fic im looking for is a one shot, but it’s been so long I can’t remember: LXC brings WWX (who he’s been teaching musical cultivation) to LQR and is like “he’s never learned this song, watch” and plays something. Then gestures to WWX who plays it perfectly from memory. LXC gestures to him while looking at LQR like “see?” and LQR is impressed

FOUND! multitude Chapter 13: good teacher lan qiren by bunny093 (bamf/genius wwx, the lans are better are sect-ing here, lightly based on a lilo&stitch scene, not yunmeng jiang friendly)

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2. Hello! Looking for a specific fic, at some point wwx transmigrates or reincarnates into the modern world where he is a ceo (?) and was trained by a teacher his whole life about sword fighting etc, and then he eventually gets his memories back and invents a way (i believe it was a device) to dimension/time travel to get back home. @vulpeculatee

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3. Hi, I'm looking for a Wangxian fanfic, where Wei Wuxian is in the Lan sect and he grows mushrooms. I just know that mushrooms were an important part of the fanfic, there was a scene where the other sects followed the Lan disciples to see where they bought the mushrooms. Thanks.

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4. hello! i just finished rereading "switched" (wwx switched with xz) but its ending was wwx finding out that he's pregnant. i remember that there's a part two of that where he gave birth in modern world, and they even cut their own hair but i cant find it. does anybody know where can i find it? or maybe im talking about two different story? im not really sure. thankyouuuuuu!

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5. good day! for the enxt fic finder, do u guys know tha time travel fic where wwx came back during the lectures then he let himself fall from the cliff where lwj was there and told him to let go? thank u in advance!

FOUND!🔒 Without end by barisan (M, 69k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Suicide Attempt, Hurt/Comfort, Depressed WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm,   PTSD, Panic Attacks, Yunmeng Jiang bashing, Sentient Resentful energy, Medical inaccuracies)

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6. Making a deep dive into my AO3 history is an Exhausting prospect right now, so I must turn to the hive mind. Three fics I'm looking for rn.

A) Meng Yao is running an errand and finds his car beset by a swarm of bees! 🐝🐝🐝 Cue LXC to the rescue.

B) Wei Ying is out on a first date and it's going poorly. Lan Zhan overhears. Tea facts are relevant. 🍵

C) Post-canon case fic, where the case is a mysterious energy that some people can see/sense and some cannot. Can't remember whether WWX just happened to bump into LWJ+ducklings or if they were already hanging out, but the two of them figure their shit out whilst investigating. I think there was a garden involved. And energy-induced kissing (possibly even sex?). @linderel

6A)

FOUND! save the bees (ride a beekeeper) by Ariaste (T, 4k, LXC/JGY, modern, Fluff and Humor, Meet-Cute, Bees, Flirting)

6B)

FOUND!🔒 Heaven, Wait by sunflowersfield (T, 2k, wangxian, Modern, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Neurodiversity, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Happy Ending, First Dates, First Kiss, Hyperfixations, Strangers to Lovers, Meet-Cute, The bad date with the original character is brief and he never sees that guy again)

6C)

FOUND! Not What We May Be by brooklinegirl (E, 29k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Mutual Pining, Bedsharing, casefic, Hurt/Comfort, background Jingyi/Sizhui)

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7. Hi. Hope you are well.

I'm trying (and failing!) to find a WangXian fix I read years ago on Ao3.

From what I remember, Wei WuXian was a Captive of the Wen and kept in a high tower where is tortured and chained with a small window and Lan Zhan also gets captured and put in the same cell of Wei WuXian.

Lan Zhan is there when the Wen soldiers drag Wei WuXian away for torture and they bond. Later Lan Zhan finds out Wei WuXian is a Phoenix and the Wens want his tears. Wen Qing and Wen Ning are his only friends.

Wei WuXian helps Lan Zhan escape and Lan Zhan has to convince the cultivation world to save Wei WuXian but by the time they reach the Wens, they see that Wei WuXian lost control of the Phoenix and Lan Zhan calms him down amidst the fire.

I also remember the fic mentionimg that a Phoenix meant Goodluck.

Thsnk you in advance!

FOUND? a thousand hills, no birds in flight | 千山鳥飛絕 by defractum (nyargles) (E, 26k, WangXian, Mythology, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon adjacent setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort)

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8. thank u so much for all u do! i actually have two fics i’m searching for! i remember reading both in 2021 so i believe that narrows things down!

A) first one is canon divergence from qiongqi path, i remember that wwx almost dies but puts his consciousness into a paperman and his body is somewhat preserved by wen qing till they can find a way to heal him and then transfer his consciousness back but they pretend he died to the other sects (i remember they even go check his body) i remember the wen remnants go to lotus pier pretending to be related to ppl from yunmeg and jzx survives. the whole mess with mxy and the summoning array happens but it fucks it up a little since wwx isn’t actually dead and he becomes something like a spirit/ghost for a while and ends up meeting lwj by accident when he’s taming mxy back to lotus pier. they manage to heal his body and he transfers himself back in and they all live happily ever after.

B) the second one is a fic in a fic series of wangxian having more children and being very domestic that includes past lwj changing places with present lwj for a day and he basically spends the day with wwx, they go farming he helps with the kids, they see lsz for a time, unfortunately that’s all i can remember from it.

8A)

FOUND? 🔒 something like by silversshadow (T, 69k, wangxian, Major Character Death, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, Temporary Character Death)

8B)

FOUND? These Two Most Powerful by stiltonbasket (G, 4k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, Married Life, Family Feels, Parenthood, Temporary Amnesia, Time Travel, it's amnesia but it feels like time travel to LWJ, wangxian have more babies, and they are the cutest buns, not your average amnesia fic? there's no drama here tbh, just soft husbands carrying on with fatherhood, And loving each other, Mild Angst, Happy Ending)

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9. Hello! I am looking for some help to find a fic. It's a story where Wei Wuxian becomes the ruler of afterlife essentially. All the characters who died before him are there but he has no memory of his past. The only way to get his memory was to go to earth and retrieve them(?). The last chapter I remember is MXY calling him, allowing him to return to the earthly realm.

Please and thank you 😊 @myblurryreality

Thank you for the suggestion but that is not it, unfortunately. The one I'm looking for starts out with Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan being in this after life city. They had to struggle for a bit because there death offerings(?) were delayed. Wen Qing was a doctor in the town and helped heal Jin Zixuan from an injury at one point. The reason everyone's offerings were delayed was because there was a new Ruler, who ended up being Wei Wuxian. He had absolutely no memory of anyone, but allowed Jiang Yanli to visit him. He would hear a song (Wangxian) played as a tribute(?) but didn't know who played it.

NOT FOUND!🔒 A Secret Never Shared by Vrishchika (T, 28k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, frankencanon, Pining, Soft LWJ, Deity WWX, BAMF WWX, Alternate Universe, LSZ is the best boy)

FOUND! A Celebration In White by Enigmatree (T, 20k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Afterlife AU, Underworld, god AU, 13 years of Inquiry, Happy Ending)

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10. Help!

I lost a Twitter threadfic! I could have sworn I saved it, but either I accidentally deleted it or the author did. And they were about to update it too!

It was about WWX who, during the first Burial Mounds siege, was transformed into a rabbit, and now lives as an immortal bunny. Now it's modern times and he's been rescued by a reincarnated LWJ, who is about to leave for college (veterinary) and doesn't remember anything about his past life. WWX is wary of him at first (he thinks that LWJ was amongst those who led the siege), but he eventually warms up to him and manages to tell him the truth using a computer.

Please help me find this! @blueghost13

FOUND? Here's the link for the Twitter Thread And I just discovered that it got updated 2 days ago when I had expected no more, so thanks for making me check 🤗

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11. Hi! I've been searching this fic for so long and couldn't find it. As far as I can remember in this fic Wei Ying survives the siege and he goes away with Ayuan. He invents a silver core type of thing. some kind of mechanical/physical core. And later I think the jins capture him or something. Do you have any idea about this fic?

FOUND? 🔒❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

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12. Hi. I love your Fic Finder and Recs and your suggestions have kept me busy reading for almost 2 years now 😍

I was hoping you could help me find a fic I've recently read the summary off. Something about WY accidentally domming LZ Z somehow and turning him into a sub without realizing? And I think WQ pointed it out to him? I believe it was a modern setting, and the summary sounded very light-hearted and entertaining.

I'm not sure if that's enough info to go on, but thanks for your help in advance 🥰 @papperlapapp1

FOUND! And They Were Roommates! or The Accidental Domming of Lan Wangji by DizziDreams (E, 21k, wangxian, Dom WWX, Sub LWJ, inexperienced BDSM practices, un-/under- negotiated kink, horny climbing, horny cohabitation, horny on main except by main I mean at a party surrounded by innocent bystanders, Praise Kink, Masturbation, Bondage, Lingerie, Orgasm Delay/Denial, omg they were roommates, Modern, BDSM, debatably a bit of dom drop, Public Masturbation, Edging, Getting Together, WQ has to come in and straighten this shit out)

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13. I was reading a great fic and then Tumblr updated and ripped out from me when I was only in chapter two! Devastated. Its world building at its finest, you are not folks directly what's happened or happening. WWX is the proprietor of Yiling Garden, a cafe that offers sanctuary. Mo Xuanyu arrives in the first chapter seeking sanctuary from the Inquisition. Lan Wangji arrives, saying he's sanctuary and there for Mo Xuanyu, but WWX assumed he was inquisition at first. They have not seen each other for years. Clearly something happened to separate WWX from everyone he loves except Wen Ning, who works for the shop too, and had been raised from the dead. For unknown reasons, Wen Qing is elsewhere and happy. Wen Yuan is mentioned, but WWX doesn't know what happened to him. There are phones so it's a modern au. And... That's it. Tumblr died right after Lan Wangji asks WWX out for dinner. Help! Thank you VERY much! @lurkdot

FOUND? transmuter by WithLoweredVoices (Not rated, 113k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Magical Realism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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14. Hi 😃 I need help to find a fic because I only remember a tiny bit! LWJ isn't wearing his forehead ribbon and LQR/Lan elders are trying to get him to wear a new one, the bit I really remember goes like this:

LQR: gives LWJ a new forehead ribbon LWJ: it's not the same 🥺🥺🥺

FOUND? A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, WWX & Wen Remnants, Jiang Family & WWX, WQ/MM, JYL/NHS, LXC/NMJ, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly, WWX Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, What is a good family?, Fear of emotions does not excuse abuse, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel fix-it, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, LXC needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not YZY Friendly)

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15. Hi! Hope you are well. I am desperately searching for a fic I read once but cannot find it anywhere. In this fic WWX survives the siege and leaves with A yuan. He and a yuan live in hiding. wwx also builds a golden core-more like a silver core as he invents a physical core that works the same as a golden core. I can't remember how it finishes but I think Jins capture him and A yuan seeks help of LWJ. Hopefully you can find this!!! Thank You!

FOUND? 🔒❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

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16. Hi! This is for fic finder. Its cql post canon i think. WWX goes to some place near ocean and he resque a men who battling a ghost ship? I think he was a cultivator from a nearby sect. WWX then teach them a little bit before he continue his journey. He went to Jinlintai. In the road he met a woman who goes to the same destination as him to met her wife. They become a fast friend. Thats all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! Linger by the Door (I’ve Always Been Yours)by piecrust (T, 78k, wangxian, slow burn, canon compliant)

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17. Hi! I don't know if I'm doing this right bc I'm new to tumblr... I've seen your blog before though and it's so helpful! I have a fic finder request - I remember it was a harry potter au where wwx has been gone from lwj's life for 13 years. he came back (as an animagus?) as a black rabbit and lwj was a professor at hogwarts. lwj takes care of rabbit wwx and then jgy comes with aurors at the end of the fic to attack hogwarts and lwj fights him. When lwj is almost going to be killed, rabbit wwx turns back into a human and protects him. Thanks so much!

FOUND? an armful of warmth by Alaceron (G, 3k, wangxian, Harry Potter Setting) It has a sequel, too!

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18. I seem to have read a summary or a review of a wangxian fic and can't recall if it's from this blog so i am putting in a request for help in finding it so in that summary it was mentioned that wangxian had travelled to a village and met a lady on bank of the sea but she was actually a sea monster/creature don't exactly remember what and she consumes hearts of her victim and LWJ becomes her target but he distracts her by tell her his and WWX's story while WWX tries to save LWJ as the body of the victim comes to shore after a week or so don't remember much or more so I hope this suffices also it was most likely to be a multi chapter fic with less than 10 but more than 3 chapters and that it was probably on ao3 . Thank you so much for your work.

FOUND! The Eater of Hearts by ElDiablito_SF (T, 17k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, LWJ is Scheherezade, WWX and LQR speak to each other agenda, Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian are very in love and very disgusting, Case Fic, Gratuitous kissage)

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19. Hi!

For the next fic finder can you help me with this ao3 fic, Modern Au where wwx gets kicked out of the Jiang family house so he has to stay (I think) in a shed close to his school, and also he has to take extra food from the school cafeteria and that’s how (I think) LQR finds him stealing after class

There was missing food so they also checked the cameras but wwx dodged them also NMJ in this AU is a cop and close to LXC

When they find out about wwx situation he’s taken to the lan house, eventual wangxian

And I don’t remember more

Thank you a lot for the help!🙇‍♀️❤️

FOUND? Where is home? By SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 80k, WIP, WangXian Modern AU, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Good Sibling LXC, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC Being an Asshole, Possible Smut?)

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20. There is this fanfic where Sizhuai(sp?) And Jingyi are night hunting with other Lan juniors. Nearly everyone dies, except him and Jingyi because out of desperation, Sizhuai uses demonic cultivation but he gets whipped a lot with the discipline whip because of it. Because of this Jingyi leaves the Lan sect. When he wakes up, Sizhuai is devastated. Cue angst, and Sizhuai eventually tracking Jingyi down and reconciliation. Unfortunately I can't remember this fanfic title and I would love to reread it. @andyousaidtruelovedidntexsist

FOUND? Give Me A Reason by useless_slytherclaw (M, 25k, ZhuiYi, LSZ & LWJ & WWX, Junior Quartet, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Friends to Lovers, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Mutual Pining, Minor WangXian, Minor JL/OYZZ, Aged-Up Character(s), Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Dreams and Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Rogue Cultivator LJY, Family Feels, Demisexual LJY, Injury Recovery, Love Confessions)

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[beanghostprincess]

I just thought of this so you have to, too.

Buggy being genderfluid but the Roger crew not really giving a flying fuck about it. Who cares how you dress so long as you're still you? Yeah, sure, go apeshit, just be loyal, strong, etc. You're one of Us and your pants or lack thereof doesn't impact that.

The crew disbands.

Shanks and Buggy get smth of a culture shock once they are no longer in that protective bubble. Buggy is getting hateful looks, comments, snide remarks. Shanks is at his side, completely taken aback and honestly pretty pissed. Buggy, on more Femme days, faces more animosity, misogyny, and it's astounding to the former apprentices who different men and women are treated. And if you can't tell by a glance, people can get so upset?? What the hell????

Buggy refuses to be anything but themself/himself/herself, depending on the day and vibe. Shanks refuses to comply with this newfound social expectation to be rude and mean for no reason to innocent people.

The Grandline is the most progressive of the seas, due in part to the natural insanity it breeds. The Blues aren't as open, but the East is the more chill of the four. Buggy chooses there for many reasons, but the Big Top and crew is open to any sea. There's an information network, smuggling division, crowdsourcing area, etc.

Shanks will drop tips at places he visits for Buggy to get a foothold if they don't already exist, and Buggy will drop tips for Shanks regarding pertinent information for adventures, expectations, and etiquette.

It's a good dynamic. They go for years like this.

Buggy's stint in Impel Down was.... not fun. Aside from the misgendering, general torture and absolutely overwhelming energy there, it was stifling.

Marineford was a hot mess, but by the end, Shanks offers Buggy a ride to the Big Top's docked location, and on board, he just leads Buggy to this little chest in his cabin. Says, "here, take your pick. You wear whatever is most comfortable for you." There's a dress or two, a few skirts, tops, pants, shirts, and while most of it is in different sizes, there's belts and loops. Buggy bites back tears when they find their old skirt. They'd left that one on the Oro. How did Shanks even get this??

The time skip goes down, and by the time Cross Guild is running, Buggy has had to decide between masquerading as a Cis person or just... being themself. One morning, they wake up and everything feels too TIGHT, too STIFF, too much and she's left eying her leotard, half skirt and thigh highs.

...

Well. If she dies, might as well die authentic.

Crocodile and Mihawk nearly do a spit take when she struts out of her tent or into the announcement hall. She is a bit nervous by this, but she has COMMITTED.

It... also helps that so many of her men are singing her praises and Ritchie is bouncing happily, Mohji and Cabaji are smiling, Alvida is giving an approving nod-

She's happy. She's not going to let fear rule her, even if she can feel the gazes of two very powerful men tracking her every breath.

((They're not mad, they're fighting every urge to swoop her into a kiss and maybe more, but also the fact that WHO GAVE THE CLOWN THE RIGHT TO BE SO HOT??? IT WAS BAD ENOUGH BEFORE, NOW THIS????? they're not good at flirting, they cannot HANDLE this-))

I adore this. Buggy being genderfluid is actually so important to me as a genderfluid person-- My beloved. The concept of cold reality suddenly hitting them both (because they were so, so supportive back at the Oro Jackson) when the crew disbands is so good. Shanks is extremely protective of them when that happens, refusing to let anybody talk shit about Buggy. It's just so sweet of him. Tbh, it hurts so much to think about Buggy having to hide that part of himself,,, But then they come out to Mihawk and Crocodile and it's not only that they support them but they also absolutely love them. These two men are having a whole crisis over a clown again (as usual). But yeah, it's actually really sweet to see Buggy finally being free with them in that way,, Thinking thoughts about Crocodile going full mafioso with money and buying Buggy all the clothes she wants (he does it more for himself and Mihawk but yeah).