#well pretty much now since it’s midnight in 30 mins lol

[intravenous-agnostic]

with everything going on i almost forgot it’s my bday tomorrow

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

[formerlyjannafaye]

100 Questions

I was tagged by @janes-mike and @el-and-hop and @caseyk112 like 100 years ago and I just finished it now! Oops.

1. What is your nickname? Janaynay, Fayzers, Jan

2. How old are you? 31

3. What is your birth month? February

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Rainbow

6. What’s your lucky number? 2

7. Do you have any pets? not at the moment

8. Where are you from? Canada

9. How tall are you? 5′4

10. What shoe size are you? 8

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? this is so embarassing, I probably own like 35 pairs of shoes (but in my defense, we experience extremes in all 4 seasons during the year) and I am a shoe addict.

12. Are you random? sometimes? but not really.

13. Last person you texted? my dad

14. Are you psychic in any way? i feel like i am really good at reading people and i have a really good memory when it comes to people so maybe a little?

15. Last TV show watched? New Girl

16. Favorite movie? Hard question! ET, Get Over It, Moulin Rouge

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Mr. Dressup!

18. Do you want children? I have one! I’d like one more, I think.

19. Do you want a church wedding? I had one.

20. What is your religion? I am a Christian, which I almost hate to say because Christians are represented so badly today and I am ashamed of this group so often. To clarify, I think Jesus is the bomb and so I try to emulate how he treated people. I’m also a feminist, pro marriage equality, pro choice, pro creation care/caring for the environment, I believe in science, I don’t believe in hell, and I hate violence. So...do with all that what you will.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, I go there a lot with my work.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I literally sweat when a cop car passes me and I’m a goody two shoes, so no! Haha

23. How is life? Its alright. I am really tired today which always affects my mood negatively. And I just watched Infinity War last night so I’m depressed, y’all. (edit: can you tell I started this over a week ago LOL)

24. Baths or showers? Showers (you could not pay me to get into a bath! germs!)

25. What color socks are you wearing? none, its too warm out

26. Have you ever been famous? Once I met the guy who won Canadian Idol and my local grocery store put up a picture of us together in the store and had it up for years. Haha! 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I used to really want to be famous, but celebs get a horrible deal these days. They have no privacy and our world thinks they owe us everything and really they owe us nothing so I would never ever want to be famous. I like being able to look like crap daily and not have it in magazines.

28. What type of music do you like? I like a wide variety of music, the only music I don’t like, really, is misogynistic rap and country. I am a choral and accapella music nerd, I love it so much.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yup.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side with my top leg thrown over so I’m in a weird stomach/side position but its sooo comfy.

32. How big is your house? Its a good size! Big enough for us and then to host people that come to visit us and our yard is huge!

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I suck at breakfast...toast or a granola bar.

34. Have you ever left the country? I have been to Germany, South Africa, Cuba, Costa Rica and the USA.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Many years ago at summer camp.

36. Do you like anyone? Well I’m married, so yes.

37. Favorite swear word? Shit. It is sooo satisfying to say.

38. When do you fall asleep? WAY too late every night. Between midnight and 2 am.

39. Do you have any scars? Yeah I have some from when I had the chickenpox as a kid and had no self control and scratched them off.

40. Sexual orientation? Straight.

41. Are you a good liar? I think I am a horrible liar, because I value authenticity so much and lying makes me anxious.

42. What languages would you like to learn? I would love to learn Spanish since its so beautiful. Really I just would love to not only speak English!

43. Top 10 songs? Oh my! What a question! Imma be safe and just say the top 10 songs I am listening to most often right now: Fall in Line by Christina Aguilera ft Demi Levato, Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by BSB, Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes, Bittersweet Symphony cover by Boyce Avenue, Love You Long Time by Pentatonix, Dive by Ed Sheeran, Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran, New Rules cover by Pentatonix, Casanova by Allie X, Gravity by Sara Bareilles.

44. Do you like your country? I do! I am mad at our leader rn, and appalled that Ontario elected a Donald Trump wannabe as a premier (like WHY HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING ONTARIO PERSONS UGH) but overall I love being Canadian.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes! Its the best!

46. What is your personality type? I am an ESFP, an extrovert with introvert tendancies, and I am an enneagram 4 (seriously, google it. That is me to a T).

47. Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 4 LYFE

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Anne from Anne of Green Gables, just not as smart. Just as dramatic and short tempered, though.

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? I don’t like them or want them near me.

52. Favorite food? Chocolate. Chips and Dip. Dill pickles.

53. Favorite foreign food? I love Mexican food so much I can’t even pick one thing. Also naan bread is the BOMB especially when dipped into dal makhani. Uuuuuuugggghh I wanna eat that so bad rn.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I am pretty clean, messiness makes me crazy.

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Pee standing up, see what its like to not have to deal with bathroom lines, street harassment, etc.

56. What color underwear? Grey.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 20 mins, but usually longer because I don’t like to be rushed so I take my time.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I don’t think so? I’m a walking pile of insecurities.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I used to bite them but I have TMJ and my jaw is a piece of garbage that cannot withstand biting anything hard without popping all out of place and pain. Fun times.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Yup.

61. Do you sing to yourself? CONSTANTLY.

62. Are you a good singer? I have a pretty decent voice.

63. Biggest Fears? Losing people I love, dying, clowns, bats, cockroaches

64. Are you a gossip? I like being in the know but I don’t like pettiness. That said I sometimes find I have to focus REALLY hard to bite my tongue.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Absolutely.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Its too long! I need a haircut.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Maybe? I might forget a few. The real question is can any of my American friends name the Canadian provinces (the CAN equivalent of states? I DOUBT IT yet we learn the states in school. SMH)

68. Favorite school subject? English and French

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Intoverted extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope and I don’t plan on it.

71. What makes you nervous? Rooms full of people that don’t like me, small spaces, driving in winter.

72. Are you scared of the dark? Less than I used to be, but I don’t like it.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do daily but thats because I have a toddler and teaching/correction is important in some moments. But you also have to let them fail which is challenging to do.

74. Are you ticklish? Nope. Only my sister can tickle me and its so annoying when she does!

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Not that I can recall?

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yeah a few times

77. Have you ever drank underage? I don’t think so, I was 18 by the time I drank anything, I think.

78. Have you ever done drugs? No drugs scare the living crap out of me.

79. What do you fantasize about? Having more time to myself, living alone like a hermit and not having to work, having perfect hair every day, having another kid, living somewhere warm, saying snarky things to my MIL’s face.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes.

82. How fast can you type? Fast-ish if I’m on a roll but I don’t use the proper hand technique. I get by though.

83. How fast can you run? Run? Moi? HAHAHAHA

84. What color is your hair? Ash brown with a faded rainbow in the back.

85. What color are your eyes? Green.

86. What are you allergic to? Winter mold. Spring is the worst. And I can’t go barefoot on grass unless I want to have itchy swollen feet that I want to scratch off forever.

87. Do you keep a journal? I have one that I’m supposed to write a line a day in but I am the WORST at it. Once I get behind I get so unmotivated.

88. Are you depressed about anything? I feel like I’m sleep walking through my life sometimes, and depression takes away my ability to care enough to be motivated to do anything about it. I swear apathy is the worst side effect of depression for me! 

89. Do you like your age? It is honestly the best. I love being 30! I care less about the insecurities that consumed my life in my early 20s. I have more body confidence . I’m more secure financially than I’ve been at any point in my life. And I still feel youngish. Haha.

90. What makes you angry? White privilege, misogyny, Canadian and American politics, Christian people who don’t act loving and don’t seem bothered by it, when people don’t return their shopping carts in parking lots, when people can help others but don’t, cancer, narcissists.

91. Do you like your own name? I have always loved my name. I only know one other person with my name who spells it like me!

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? Odd question, no.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I have a boy, and if I ever get the opportunity to have another kid I kinda hope its a girl. I’m really close with my mom so I always imagined having a daughter to hopefully be close with too. My son is a mini me in every way, though.

94. What talents do you have? I have a semi-photographic memory (so helpful for studying), I learn song lyrics super fast, I can sing any song for you in the correct key it was recorded in (what would you call that? pitch memorization?)

95. Sun or moon? I love sitting in a sunbeam like a cat. But the moon is super comforting to me. Both.

96. How did you get your name? My mom wanted me to have a different name in a sea of Ashley’s and Brittany’s (I was born in the late 80s).

97. Are you religious? My faith is very important to me and relates to all areas of my life, including my job, so yes? But I don’t feel like I need to be in your face about it, that’s not my style. 

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yes and honestly everyone on the planet could benefit from it! Its the best!

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue and goldish flowers on it.

100. Color of your room? Light grey.

I feel like everyone already did this but all the same I’m going to tag @earlgreyteagirl, @reddie-to-mileven-it-up, @stevemossington, @maxmayfield and here’s some people who I know already did this but I want you to see my answers haha so here goes @hannahberrie @summer-in-hawkins @jane-el-hopper @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @thezoomermax @puzzlingsnark @fatechica @mikeweezers

[megmckinney]

The Dreaded Day Of Travel

It’s hard to prepare for traveling with muchas cosas (many things) as we would be traveling home with. Considering our travel to Mexico and everything that happened, it’s not unusual for either of us to feel a bit uncertain about how traveling home would go. Would we have someone to help carry our stuff? If we don’t, can we still make it work? Will Volaris accept Rowley this time now that his rabbis vaccine would be in their 30 day time frame? Will we be able to get back into the US? How will Summer do on the flight?

The great thing about Sayulita is you don’t have to make appointments anywhere. You want a massage? You walk down to the beach and get it. You want to see the vet to get a health certificate to fly and deworming? You just show up and they do it on the spot. No 30 min check up required and an appointment. Of course I did ask if we should make an appointment but the vet said no to just come in when we were ready. It’s not like they would say no, obviously we had to get home and needed to bring our dog lol So we made sure everything was as Volaris required so we could fly home.

To book our flight online it said we would take off at 12:35 pm. But when you click details, the flight time was actually 6:35 pm. Maybe a glitch in their website? We planned our goodbye brunch at Chocobanana with Kristin, Tyler, Noralina, Felix, and the kiddos, went home to nap/pack, and then headed for the airport. If our flight had been at 12:30, well, then, we would have missed it lol but after booking the res, the email confirmation said 6:30 so I was pretty confident about the evening flight.

We got to the airport 3.5 hours early to be safe. They wouldn’t let us officially check in until 4 so we cruised around the airport. it took SO long to get us checked in because of Rowley. We were the first ones there and by the time we were finally done, the line was incredibly long. They needed to review Rowley’s paperwork, make copies, review them again, have us fill out forms, check the weight. It was never ending. Plus we had to pay for the surfboard, get all of Summer’s gear tagged. It was a process. It took 45 minutes to get us checked in. So it’s finally 4:45pm and we are heading to our gate. Things are fine from here, we board the plane, get to our seats, Summer sleeps on me the entire flight. It was SO sweet but my legs were falling asleep, my left butt cheek was hurting, and I was having a hard time breathing with 21 pounds of weight on me and a baby in my belly. We weighed Summer at the vet after weighing Rowley. It’s good to know how much she weighs now haha.

We land, head to baggage claim/CBX Border Crossing. We find guys with the carts to help us with everything. We go to cross the border through CBX but they won’t take Summer without a birth certificate. My expired passport is no big deal. That works fine he says, especially since it expired in 2020. Matt tried to convince them, the supervisor called the Border Patrol but they said no. So we had to turn around and head the exit of the TJ airport, get a taxi to the border, walk across the border, and hope they don’t give us any trouble getting into the US.

We hop in the taxi to the San Ysidro border crossing. He drops us off and surprisingly there is someone to help us carry our stuff. We are shocked and stoked. We get to the mexico crossing and they just need to see that we have ID, they don’t need to check it BUT we lose our guy to help carry our stuff to walk across the final part. I’m excited because I knew with the wagon and the zip ties we brought that we could do it and I had been looking forward to consolidating everything without extra help. Matt was embarrassed. He kept describing us as Beverly Hill Billy but I don’t get embarrassed easily. I was completely stimulated. I had never walked across the border. It was all new and exciting for me-- until we got into San Ysidro and that was SCARY. More on that later.

So we get into the US Border, we get in line, it was a nice mexican/american lady. I think that was helpful. Women LOVE Summer. Even this woman, who questioned how an 18 month old didn’t have a. birth certificate, couldn’t help but comment on how beautiful Summer is with her red hair. She questioned us a little bit but not for long and then let us go. So the only difficult part was not being allowed to cross through CBX.

We get out of the building and need to get a ride home. It’s super sketchy in this area. Tons of drug addicts walking by, dark, scary. We sign up for an Uber XL, he’s 13 minutes away. The cop makes us move down the street so we aren’t on trolley property, Summer is crying because she’s thirsty. Matt runs to jack & the box to get water and leaves us alone on the street. That was the scariest part. I was just getting ready to duck incase gun shots went off. lol read to kick if someone came up with a knife. I was on high alert.

Our Toyota Highlander finally arrives. He said he didn’t think our stuff would fit. And to be honest, it didn’t. We left the stroller in the trash. It was the old, dirty, used Bob that I got on offer up that we all hate. It was nice to have in Mexico but I never want to use it again lol Once in the car the driver told us that if we didn’t have a baby and if I wasn’t pregnant, he wouldn’t have taken us!!! We were the fifth passengers in his brand new car that he did not want scratched up with our surf board, suitcases, dog crate, wagon, etc.

Our house in La Mesa is booked on airbnb until Feb 2 but our other property in Mission Hills is open for a few nights, Of our three properties, the mission hills home is the only one that I actually own. And I’ve never stayed in it, so it’s been fun to stay here, use the hot tub, enjoy the space! When we bought it, it was a flip, and we bought all of the staging furniture, as well, so it’s a really beautiful and modern home. The decor, the pillows, everything is so chic.

We put Summer down at midnight america time which is 2:00am mexico time. She slept until 4:45 american time so 6:45 mexico time. Not bad. We went to lazy acres for breakfast, got some groceries, Matt took Summer on a walk to balboa park. No stroller so back in the wagon for her. She went down at 9:40 am. I have been blogging, chatting with my dad, unpacking suitcases. It’s been a nice morning.

This afternoon we are signing our loan docs for the refinancing and hopefully heading to la mesa to get our car and stroller! woohoo! I hope Summer sleeps until noon!!! It’s 11 am now. Fingers crossed!!! She needs to catch up so we can get back to a normal sleep schedule!

Well, that’s the end of our travels. I still need to finish the previous blog post but THANK YOU to everyone who came along on this journey with us!!!!

I probably wont be blogging much until October when we plan to move to PALM BEACH FLORIDA for a few years while Matt starts a new pool business, invests in airbnb properties. We’ll see!! More to come from our new nomadic lifestyle!

Love you all! XO

[meepface]

i’m avoiding an essay

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

it was my girlfriend so that would be very nice

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

we are daaaating and we might get some time to hang out after classes tomorrow so i’m really looking forward to that

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

as long as it’s not anything bad 

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yes

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

yes

7. What does your last received text say?

“i’m having a day. how’s your day been?”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

sooooo many

9. Where was your last kiss at?

in my car in a parking lot right outside of campus

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

i don’t have a sister but i saw my brother like 20 mins ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water, coffee, milk, mostly coffee

12. Where did you sleep last night?

my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

they shouldn’t be but they definitely require effort, but the effort is worth it so it still shouldn’t be hard??

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

nah, i don’t see a point in it. everything happens for a reason

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

nope that would be nice bc we’d finally have some fuckin time to ourselves

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy but only if i have company and something to do

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

yes it’s a very common middle name

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jeans 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

i hope so yes

20. Does anyone like you?

yes i’d hope my girlfriend does

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

nope

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

yes lmfaooo

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

yep

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

i have three lmfao i’ve more than just considered it

25. In the past week have you cried?

yuhhh i cried yesterday

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

my lil dog Rusty is a pomeranian mix

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

in ??

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no

29. Do you think you’re old?

no

30. Do you like text messaging?

yeah

31. What type of day are you having?

i’m really tired and i’ve felt sick but otherwise it’s been a really nice day

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

yes lmao

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yes there’s a few

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i try to be simple but i always complicate shit lmao so

37. What song are you listening to?

i’m not listening to music but i do have make daddy proud by blackbear stuck in my head lmfao

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

yes

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

yes pretty much

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

she’s really funny and sweet and has a cute laugh and she’s so pretty and dorky and she was also one of my only gay friends in high school lmfao and we bonded so hard over that. i felt like it was only a matter of time that we got together

41. When did you last receive a text message?

9:57 pm but i haven’t texted anyone back since lmao

42. What is wrong with you right now?

i mean generally speaking there’s a lot going on but just currently i am feeling very sick and sleepy and i should probably work on my essay lmao

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

very very well she’s my girlfriend

44. Does anyone disgust you?

yep

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no i have a girlfriend

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

yes

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my brother 

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

grey

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yes

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yes

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

no i am dating her

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yes

53. Do you like rain?

yes as long as i have company and something to do or else i get depressoooo

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

nope as long as she’s safe

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

yes

56. Do you like to cuddle?

yessssss so much

57. Are you shy?

not shy just introverted

58. Do you get along with girls?

yes!!! i love girls

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

yes

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

chapstick, my phone, medicine bc a bitch gets migraines all the damn time

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

as long as i had company

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

yes lmao?? i already have

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

yes

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

yes but she’s short so that would be a struggle for her

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

yes my gf and i finally got to go out since we’ve both been busy as hell and it was so nice

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

i have only ever kissed my gf and she is 20

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

pay bc i am bad at it lmfao

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

leopard

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

no

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

neither

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?    

iphone

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

it’s been months lmao

73. Do you like diet soda?    

no (sorry Caitlin)

74. What color are the walls in your room?    

one is brown and the others are a bright blue

75. Are you 16 or older?    

yes

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

no

77. Do you have a job?    

yes

78. What are your initials?    

ENM

79. Did you ever have braces?    

yes....... don’t remind me i wanted to kill myself when i had them i was so ugly lol! anyway

80. Are you from the south?    

yes unfortunately

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

i shared this bc it made me laugh so hard that i was crying

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

yes

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

my mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

gymnastics

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

damn idk, It i think

86. Do you smoke?    

no

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

heels

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

yes

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

straight

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

yes

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

river

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

yes all the time lmao

93. …Had sex in a car?    

yes lmfao

94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

in a relationship

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

i was talking to my gf and playing animal crossing pocket camp lol

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

i haven’t gone out to see them in like a year

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yes it’s nice

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

yes

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

no 

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    

yes

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

nope i’m gay

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

praying is good also kiss n tell used to be one of my favorites

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

nope i don’t tan

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

absolutely not

[davidsvlogs]

Z+M story: so I went to the US for my 21st birthday, my friends and I started off in Anaheim to do the theme parks etc. then ended up in Studio City and LA. (disclaimer: my friends and I had had this trip planned for 3 years and bought our flights and booked our accommodation back in September 2016), literally a week before my friend and I flew out from Sydney to LA, I found out vidcon was on the exact same weekend we would be in Anaheim, so my best friend who lives in Sacramento who is (cont.)

“(cont.) also a fan of the VS and I were joking around saying "imagine if we met Zane and Heath"! Like we have watched these guys since vine and we made jokes about what we would say or do if we actually met them (we knew we wouldn't but it was still fun to joke about it), anyway the night my Australian friend and I flew into LA we met up with 2 of my American friends at LAX and took an uber to Anaheim. We decided to go to Cheesecake Factory for dinner and there were soooo many people (cont.)(cont.) and they all were wearing Vidcon lanyards (it was second day of vidcon) so my friend from Sacramento and I joked that David and everyone else was there, so yeah you get it, we were just joking about running into Zane and Heath the whole time. The next day we went to Disneyland and this was the Friday (last day of Vidcon) and we ended up being able to get through every ride by 3pm and our hotel was just down the road from Disneyland, so we had walked back and forth a few times (cont.)(cont.) to charge our phones and nap and have lunch and change our clothes, etc. and we always walked the same way back to the hotel, crossed at a certain road and walked a certain way every time. Anyway, turns out Disneyland was open until 12am this night so even though we had been on every ride we decided to stay until midnight anyway. We really wanted to go on Space Mountain again after the fireworks but the wait time said 85 mins, so instead we went to Finding Nemo - it was 11.40pm (cont.)(cont.) by the time we got off the ride it was 5 mins until close, we walked back to Space Mountain and saw it still said 85 mins but we couldn't see a line, we decided to run up anyway and see because the worst that could happen was them say 'sorry, no more people are allowed in' but no one stopped us and there was absolutely no one in line, we got straight to the front but just as we were about to get on the ride broke down, so the employees apologised and said they weren't sure how (cont.)(cont.) long it would be but we were welcome to either stay and wait or leave, and seeing as one of my friends and I came all the way from Australia and only had 2 day pass hopper passes we decided to stay, by the time we got on the ride it was about 12.30am, so we rode Space Mountain and left - we were the only people left in the park by this point pretty much! No one was around outside the streets either because everyone had left about half an hour before this (cont.)(cont.) for some reason, we walked a different way back to the hotel so by the time we had rode the ride and left it was about 1am, like I said, we took a different way home and crossed at a different crosswalk, my friend from Sacramento and I were joking around saying imagine if we met Zane and Heath now because there would prob be a Vidcon afterparty somewhere and literally not even 30 seconds later, as we're crossing the road there's 2 guys standing on the street corner we're crossing (cont.)(cont.) at and they have lanyards on, and I couldn't see who they were from far away at first and so I was joking saying "oh look! Creators!" because this was an ongoing joke between my friend and I and as we got closer my friend got dead serious and said "that's Heath and Matt" and I laughed thinking it was a joke and she told me to be quiet because it really was them, we were halfway across the road at this point and we realised it was Zane and Matt so I said I was gonna go say hi (cont.)(cont.) my friend got really nervous and said she didn't want to but I walked over anyway and she followed and I introduced myself to Matt first because he was looking our way, I told him how I was Australian and he was drunkenly telling me how his cousin is Australian and he was asking me where I was from and telling me where his cousin lived and what uni they go to and he started drunkenly quoting an Australian show called Summer Heights High to me and he was just soooo wasted drunk! (cont.)(cont.) he was so loud and so funny and nice and I looked over and saw Zane smiling at Matt talking and I introduced myself to Zane because he was being super quiet standing to the side and I still had my Disneyland birthday badge on and Matt asked me how Disneyland was and asked where we were staying and Zane gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and Matt was standing there for ages still talking with his arms out for me to hug him because I didn't notice at first hahaha but I hugged him (cont)(cont. - I have to go anon now because ask limit lol) and yeah moral of the story was they were both so nice and Matt was so loud and talkative and Matt is legit the funniest human being and loves interacting with people and asking questions and Zane seemed a bit more reserved but he was so nice as well, he was kind of just letting Matt talk which was sweet but he gave the best hug and his beard was all prickly at this stage hahaha but then their light turned on for them to cross the road (cont)(cont) and Zane said goodbye and it was nice meeting us and Matt was still so caught up talking to me about Australia and stuff that he didn't even notice the light changing or Zane walking off so I had to usher him to walk off and I had to say "it's your turn to cross, cya!" or else he probably would have stood there talking all night hahahaha!”

I would’ve literally died if I met any of them, especially so randomly like you and your friends did. We all know how much of a messy drunk Zane is, but I bet a drunk Matt King was the best thing ever. He knows so many random facts, i can’t imagine what all he was rambling off about Australia...he might know more than you do and you’re the one who lives there 😂  It’s so cool that you met them!!!

[kangdan101]

questions tag :)

tagged by @hwangminyeo :’) lmao im sorry my life is so uninteresting but it was fun to answer these still heh

THE LAST

·        drink: water! Recently I’ve been trying to drink more water bc I am extremely dehydrated; i tend to drink like 1 cup a day (lol) stay hydrated kids

·         phone call: this morning!

·         text message: like one min ago I was just arguing with my friend whether or not our math teachers first name is jose or not (update: I was right, it IS jose xD)

·         song you listened to: ENERGETIC BY WANNA ONE!!11

·         time you cried: maybe like 15 min ago…????? Lmfao I was watching wanna one sing always and I got emotional (i cry about everything)

·         HAVE YOU EVER

·         dated someone twice: it’s hard to date someone twice if you’ve never dated someone at all lol (motae solo like minhyun)

·         kissed someone and regretted it: no

·         been cheated on: no

·         lost someone special: yes :’(

·         been depressed: yes. This last year was really really hard for me. Balancing dance and school and everything made me super stressed and I started to pull myself away from ppl :/ tbh produce kinda got me out of it lol and im 100% ok now

·         gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (lol bc I’ve never drank before hahaha theres so many things I haven’t done)

·         3 FAVORITE COLORS

·         Baby blue

·         Mint green

·         Peach pink ;)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

·         made new friends: yes

·         fallen out of love: no 

·         laughed until you cried: literally I laugh way too much for my own good

·         found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so :o

·         met someone who changed you: yes, many of them! (esp kangdan tho)

·         found out who your friends are: yes :)

·         kissed someone on your Facebook list: yikes no

GENERAL

·         how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: mostly all my fb friends go to my school but I don’t actually know some of them? So I’d say like 70%

·         do you have any pets: I’d like to think my little brother Anthony is secretly a dog bc he resembles one and can get hella wild sometimes lmao

·         do you want to change your name: my name is legit the most basic Chinese name ever I know like 3 other people with the exact same first and last name and alskdjgowaei;lskdfj it gets on my nerves sometimes I always liked the name lilia / lily but in 7th grade I met this girl whose name was Philomena and its now my favorite name ever

·         what did you do for your last birthday: lmao I studied bc I had a hUge test the next day and your girl’s serious about her grades man

·         what time did you wake up: LMAO I woke up twice this morning: first time at 4:40 to catch WANNA ONE DEBUT and then went back to sleep @ 6 am; woke up again at 7:30 am for class

·         what were you doing at midnight last night: I was on tumblr watching everyone hype about wanna one it was gr8

·         name something you can’t wait for: finishing junior year + SAT shit :/ lol my junior year hasn’t even started yet but im so nervous I hope I don’t screw up and thinking about it is making my heart beat faster yikes (wish me luck guys hopefully im still alive by june)  

·         when was the last time you saw your mom: a few min ago~

·         what are you listening to right now: my little brother Anthony is singing shape of you and its not pretty lol (he’s eleven)

·         have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t really remember

·         something that is getting on your nerves: the SAT omygod I just really want it to be over and im SO NERVOUS also anthony’s singing is starting to bug me (he changed songs and now he’s singing gibberish and it’s very distracting)

·         most visited website: probably youtube/fb/tumblr

·         hair color: blackish-brown. my roots are black but the ends seem to be browning a lil? Probably since it’s summer now and the sun is working its magic 

·         long or short hair: medium length! Like halfway down my back???

·         do you have a crush on someone: nope & haven’t had one for like two years

·         what do you like about yourself: my monolids? But my mom wants me to get surgery lmfao also i like that i have a naturally high foot arch bc its helpful for dance :)))

·         blood type: a… I think?

·         nickname: name: sarah; nicknames: sawa, sala, salad, swisso (I promise this makes sense in context), moon, moonmoon (these make sense in context too lol)

·         relationship status: single mom of my 98 produce children and always have been lollll

·         zodiac: capricorn

·         pronouns: she/her

·         favorite tv show: descendants of the sun, suspicious partner, I hear your voice, once upon a time, produce aka a horrible show that hurts u in all sorts of ways (pls rec me some bc I wanna binge some tv shows before school starts)

·         tattoos: none atm but maybe when I’m older I want a tiny star, or a tiny moon, or maybe my Chinese name?

·         right or left handed: Right

·         surgery: I got eye surgery done when I was rly young bc the gland between my eyes and nose was blocked which basically made me cry ALL THE TIME (like even when I’d be staring at nothing)

·         sport: I dance! And I used to do rhythmic gymnastics but I had to quit bc school was getting too busy I miss rhythmic gymnastics so much u have no idea

·         vacation: I think I’m going to go out touring colleges along the east coast near the end of august!!!

·         pair of shoes: I wear my converse a lot as well as my nike free runs. But other than that my shoe collection is p limited rippp

·         MORE GENERAL

·         eating: just finished dinner

·         drinking: nothing atm xD gdi in the beginning of this tag I wanted to be more hydrated and look where I am now lmao

·         I’m about to: wash the dishes that we used for dinner

·         waiting for: the day I graduate high school so I can go to college and take classes I love and alskdgjaowlfkdsfj (lmao im such a nerd im sorry)

·         want: to eat some ice cream (I love ice cream)

·         get married: that would be a miracle tbh

·         career: high school student / summer school teachers assistant  THE KIDS I TEACH ARE SO LOUD AND WILD theyre legit animals everytime I step into the classroom i can’t believe these 8th graders are capable of such chaos

WHICH IS BETTER

·         hugs or kisses: I luv hugs and I luv kisses

·         lips or eyes: both???

·         shorter or taller: taller (its not hard to be taller than me lol)

·         older or younger: older

·         nice arms or nice stomach: I think…. Arms 

·         hook up or relationship: relationshiip

·         troublemaker or hesitant: jesus idk I’ve never dated so I really wouldn’t know alskdjgoalkdsfj (but i mean troublemaker is a gr8 song??)

HAVE YOU EVER

·         kissed a stranger: no that sounds scary :0

·         drank hard liquor: no

·         lost glasses/contact lenses: I LOsT MY GLAssES IN FLORIDA ONCE agldkgjaosdfkj I swear I put it down on the airport seat and when I turned around THEY WERE GONE I spend a good 2 hours looking for them but they legit disappeared :/ to this day I am still wondering where that pair of glasses went

·         turned someone down: yes

·         sex on the first date: no 

·         broken someone’s heart: i sure hope not 

·         had your heart broken: no

·         been arrested: no

·         cried when someone died: so many times

·         fallen for a friend: lowkey yes but they still don’t know about that

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

·         yourself: I try to

·         miracles: yes or else what will happen to me in the future I need miracles to carry me bc my luck is trASH

·         love at first sight: no

·         santa clause: maybe for the first few years but then I caught my parents

·         kiss on the first date: no

·         angels: idk actually… I guess?

OTHER

·         eye color: brown; I feel like my eyes have been getting lighter over the years bc the outside of my iris is like brown but near the pupil its more of a hazel

·         favorite movie: I have so many omg I luv spirited away, howls moving castle, the book thief, and I recently watched wonder woman (pls rec some movies too im always in the mood for one :D) 

im tagging anyone who wishes to do this! 

[brianjameson]

Day 3: Game of Thrones Tour

It was the first night I was able to sleep since being in Iceland. My body had finally adjusted to the time change thankfully because I feel it was the hardest thing for me being 8 hours ahead.

I woke up at about 8:30am to get ready for the Game of Thrones tour I was doing. This was the longest tour I booked. It was going to be a solid 8 hours. The tour was going to be taking us to the main areas in Iceland where the show was filmed the most.

I made my way down to the bus stop that was maybe a 5 min walk from my air bnb and waited for the tour bus to come pick me up. As I got closer to the bus stop I was realizing more how fast it is to miss your bus if you’re not paying attention. There was a Blue Lagoon tour bus that came to pick up these people and these 3 girls are completely distracted by their phones that the bus driver had to physically go grab them and ask what their names were to see if they were the people missing from the list. He was pissed lol.

My bus came and I got on and apparently my tour guide was an extra in all first 4 seasons which was pretty neat. He was also in full costume so he had the whole beard thing going for him and I just knew he was going to really fill us in on everything about the show and I was right!

Let’s go down the list of what I remember since there was so much talking that it was putting me to sleep.

1.Season one of Game of Thrones is the only season that was not filmed in Iceland. Season 1 was filmed in Ireland. Every other season has been filmed in Iceland. The reason why they chose to film in Iceland is because they were having to spend so much money on fake snow for season 1 that they decided they just needed to go somewhere that had real snow where they could really film, that’s where Iceland came in!

2.The fighting scenes in Game of Thrones where the actors are in hand to hand combat is actually REAL. The actors were made to beat the shit out of each other all in the sake of making the show more believable! I was SHOOK. I wish a bitch would try to pawn me off like that lol.

3.Sometimes the weather would be so bad and the actors would physically have to shoot in that so in the show if you ever notice sometimes the actors look miserable it’s because they really were because of the snow and they’d be freezing from getting wet. Poor fellas!!!!

4. NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN FILMING THE SHOW

Those 4 things were the main things I remember because the guy was talking and talking and talking so I finally put my headphones in and just waited until we arrived to each destination.

  We first stopped at a stable to see some of the horses that were in the show and there was a dog that was chasing them around and getting them to go outside.

It was still early so the sun was slowly coming up. The sun doesn’t rise until about 9:30-10am so it was still barely coming up as you can tell in the photos.

After the stables we went to a convenient store to grab snacks and food for the tour and I took this opportunity to go shopping of course! They had all sorts of rad souvenirs so I grabbed a handful of keychains, an Iceland book of all the places to visit in Iceland, and an Iceland beanie! I must say that everything in Iceland is seriously so fucking expensive lol. On all the little shit I bought I spent easily $80.. I don’t even want to look at some of the receipts from the trip because I spent so much on little shit that it’s upsetting lol.

We left the souvenir shop and headed to our first destination.

The first stop we made was at the spot where the dragons make their debut in season 4 as adult dragons.

Since I had so much time to think and really absorb everything going on around me there was one couple that I was paying attention to that were so sweet with each other. They asked me to take their photo and when I went to take it the girl started to hang all over him and make funny faces and he was just cracking up at what she was doing and going with it. I immediately started taking photos because it’s those little moments that speak volumes about your relationship. It was the cutest thing seeing them interact the entire time because you can just tell they really get each other and love each other and I loved seeing that.

We spent maybe 30 min at each spot and were on a tight schedule so we took off to the next filming location.

  The following stop was where a lotttt of the show was filmed. It’s where they filmed the bloody gate with CGI effects and where Arrya and The Hound would walk through as well as when the Wildlings were passing by and the Thenns showed up.

Our tour guide was showing us photos of where he was in the show which was pretty neat.

I figure I’ll show more photos now since there isn’t much to say about the places we went to just that they were all covered in pounds of snow!

  The last location we went to was my FAVORITE. It’s where the fight scene broke out with the wildlings and the Thenns. It was my favorite because the house looked so cool and really gave you that sense of ‘wow, I’m standing where one of the greatest shows out was filmed’ kinda feeling.

The view from where this last location was absolutely beautiful.. It was high up and overlooked everything. It gives you such a deep feeling of appreciating life and appreciating how close to the Arctic circle I was and how amazing this experience has been. Never would I have imagined to be in Iceland meeting people and traveling all by myself.

The tour was over but the tour guide wanted to take us to one last place before it was all over.

We stopped at this waterfall that was pretty rad. We had enough time to literally take a photo or 2 and get back on the bus since it was getting late. They wouldn’t let us go down more to take photos since it wasn’t really part of the tour and it was getting late.

On the way back we stopped at one last convenient store. While I was there I was looking for this rune that my friend Kelly was telling me about. It was the Vegvisir rune the vikings would use before they set sail.

Description: The Vegvisir, also known as the runic compass or the Viking compass made of eight Viking rune staves, is a symbol of protection and guidance believed to be used as a compass by Vikings. The word vegvisir means ‘wayfinder’ and ‘sign post’ in Icelandic language.

“the wearer of this symbol will not lose his way during storms and bad weather, even if he does not know of his destination”.

I told myself that I HAD to find this symbol while in Iceland. I said to myself that if I find this symbol then I’ll have hope that I’ll find my way back in life and be able to live with everything going on.

I wasn’t going to get off the bus since I didn’t really need to piss but I figured I might as well just in case I really have to go and who knows how long we were going to be on the fucking bus again. So I got off went to the restroom and just decided to check out the gift shop. I started looking and keychains and boom there it was. The Vegvisir staring right back at me. The entire gift shop was all handmade viking and game of thrones souvenirs that the shop owner makes BY HAND. I made sure to get a handful of keychains with the Vegvisir symbol just in case I didn’t see it again. I even bought a coaster and necklace of it lol.

This symbol means everything to me right now…

There’s no worse feeling than feeling lost in life which has never really happened to me..

To try your absolute hardest and lose so many important people or things in life.

I understand this is all the process of life and life isn’t always going to be easy because that would just be boring as fuck but these major events that have happened in my life, have really made me realize how quick I can lose my way. Before my vacation I was drinking just to numb the pain and to avoid becoming too depressed. I was beating myself up to try and fight pain with pain and it just wasn’t working..

So to have gone to a foreign country and found a symbol that gives me hope, was 1 of the biggest highlights of the trip.. It was a piece of the puzzle of my healing.

I was dropped off at my bus stop and I went back to my place to shower. I took this opportunity to take photos of the city and all its glory.

There was snow all over the roads and I loved it. I’m not a fan of crazy amounts of snow but in Iceland I didn’t mind. It made Reykjavik seem that much more dreamy because of how cute the town was already.  It was about 6:30pm when I got back and my time was limited because I needed to get to a restaurant before everything started to close! Not to mention it was Friday so I needed to hurry and make sure where I went wasn’t packed!

I got dressed and decided to go hotel 101 for dinner and had their lobster pasta which was AMAZING.

The food was so good in Iceland but I noticed they don’t really salt, so it all tends to taste pretty plainnn.

I had a glass of wine and had a window view of the street. There was a big table next to me with business people at it being loud as all fuck so I was kind of annoyed by that. I again was the only person in the restaurant alone and it was ok. But again the same thoughts kept creeping in about how much it sucks not having Nick with me. How much I miss doing group dinners with me him and our friends.. Thinking of what could of been and how my life would of turned out to be with him.. Everything was going to get better for us and then everything just kind of completely slipped out of my hands and into the dirt.

I finished eating and went back to my place. I was going to go out for awhile for drinks but I wasn’t feeling that good and I was afraid I’d get sick so I went back home and waited for Eyvi to come over again so we could chat more.

He came over around midnight-ish and I was thrilled to see him since I just felt really comfortable with him.

The night was beautiful and so was the weather. Occasionally we would go outside to see everyone walking up and down the streets. I made sure to keep the door cracked a bit since the house tended to get warm quick.

He had been drinking a bit and so instead of drinking more I made us some tea and we sat on the couch and just talked. I opened up to him more about what happened recently with me and he went on to tell me about someone close to him that passed away in the same fashion.

He told me all about his story and it just made me sad but it kept bringing my attention to, is suicide really in someones destiny or does life give you choices and some people just continue to choose a negative path until it leads to suicide? I’d like to believe that suicide is not in anyones fate but I just don’t know.

We continued to talk about life in general and he was telling me more about his life in Iceland. I couldn’t help but to be so fascinated by everything he was telling me. He didn’t even really live around Reykjavik he lives like 4 hours away which made our meeting that much more spiritual. How did I manage to fly 5,000+ miles to find someone as interesting as this guy and that looked similar to Nick and had a past similar to mine? This was no coincidence and I definitely feel like it was fate putting us together. I felt the magic of Iceland and the universe working together with me.

We stayed up talking until about 2am and then he went home.

I stood out on the balcony and finished my tea watching the crowds of people walk by and just seeing how simple life is in Iceland. At one point I was looking at everyone in their apartments to see what they were up to and I remember seeing a man eating pizza in his dining room that wasn’t furnished at all. He had a table and food and was watching TV from what I could tell. It made me think of home and how everything is so over the top sometimes with furnishing houses and making sure you look good and are wearing designer or what not when life could be more simpler. I feel like anyone who just wants to live a simple life should just move to some part of Europe where people don’t judge and just go about their life.

The following day I was doing the snorkeling tour and I could not wait. I cannot wait to share those photos because everything about the tour was so majestic..

Letters from the Arctic pt.3 Day 3: Game of Thrones Tour It was the first night I was able to sleep since being in Iceland.

[neilabrmarchive]

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag people

tagged by the dear cam @occlumencia thank you very much!!

i’m tagging everyone who wants to do this jdhjgk

the last 1. drink: water 2. phone call: mum 3. text message: one of my irl best friends 4. song you listened to: the louvre - lorde 5. time you cried: ummm monday 6. dated someone twice: nop 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh like a couple of years ago or smth 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: hmm yeah 10. been depressed: lol 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: it’s been a couple of years since i’ve last thrown up after drinking i think!

3 favorite colors 12. grey 13. white 14. i’ve really started liking muted pastel pink lately

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yess 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: no i guess 19. met someone who changed you: does skam count kjsdfh 20. found out who your friends are: idk? 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i have a half-assed attempt at facebook and i don’t use it and like only have like 2 friends on there so all of them lmao 23. do you have any pets: no 24. do you want to change your name: hmmmm noo 25. what did you do for your last birthday: was depressed 26. what time did you wake up: today at 5.15 am  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 28. name something you can’t wait for: london trip 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 30 mins ago 31. what are you listening to right now: liability - lorde 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i guess not 33. something that is getting on your nerves: annoying coworkers lol  34. most visited website: tumblr yikes lmao 35. hair colour: brown 36. long or short hair: short 37. do you have a crush on someone: no 38. what do you like about yourself: hmm i wanna help people 39. piercings: my earss  40. blood type: O- 41. nickname: well inka is already a nickname if we’re bein precise 42. relationship status: very much single 43. zodiac: scorpio 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: skam, friends, b99, sense8, got 46. tattoos: i don’t have any but i really want some 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: nope 50. sport: i’ve done taekwondo 51. vacation: a lot of placesss plsss 52. pair of trainers: i don’t know how to describe them? like the kind noora wears a lot

more general 53. eating: yes pls lmaojldslj 54. drinking: faves are coke and other sodas 55. i’m about to: close my computer and read 56. waiting for: reading jfhkdj 57. want: money to name one thing hssgfh 58. get married: i don’t knowww but atm feeling that i don’t wanna get married, i just wanna be engaged to someone is that weird ksjdhgk 59. career: nurse or *whispers* maybe someday a doctor if i ever get wise enough lmao

which is better 60. hugs or kisses: uhhuuhnuh hugs i guess? but don’t have much experience on the kissing front so idk lmao 61. lips or eyes: eyes maybe 62. shorter or taller: taller 63. older or younger: older i guess 64. nice arms or nice stomach: ohh man idk 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: uhh not too hesitant at least i guess because i’m so hesitant lmao

have you ever 67. kissed a stranger: yes 68. drank hard liquor: yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t have those 70. turned someone down: ehh yeah i guess 71. sex on the first date: haven’t had 72. broken someone’s heart: pretty sure i haven’t lmao 73. had your heart broken: hmm yes 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yeah  76. fallen for a friend: i don’t think so no

do you believe in 77. yourself: eh 78. miracles: i would like to lol 79. love at first sight: hmm no 80. santa claus: no 81. kiss on the first date: sure 82. angels: idk no?

other 84. eye colour: green 85. favourite movie: pride is one of them 

[destination-kalafina]

Cross Fit

*disclaimer: this is NOT a real scenario*

About an hour after the final performance of one of their longer live tours, Hikaru and Wakana are EXHAUSTED 

However, pumped on adrenaline still, Keiko suggests to the other two that they should go celebrate somewhere

“Come on you two we need to do something FUN!! Who wants to go home after that kickass concert?!”

Hikaru sat down and started taking the accessories out of her hair and costume 

“Kei-chan, how do you still have so much energy??? We have been up since before the sun rose this morning”

Wakana flopped down on the couch in the dressing room

“Yeah.. my body barely even wants to move anymore!!”

Keiko put her hands on her hips and frowned at her band members

“Wow you two need to get into shape!! You shouldn’t be this tired!”

Wakana and Hikaru looked over at her

Wakana chuckled, “Not everyone has as much energy as you, Keiko.”

Keiko rolled her eyes. “You know what, we’re gonna whip the two of you up until you feel like you can perform for 10 hours straight. You’re both gonna join in my workout routine whether you want to or not.”

Keiko set up a time and place for them to meet the next morning

It’s REALLY early

The next morning

It is 6:30 AM and they are at a park

Only Wakana and Keiko are there right now

Wakana is in her cute Nike gear

Keiko is in a sports bra and some jogging pants, fit as ever

Keiko looks around. “Where is Hii-chan?”

Hikaru sluggishly walks up behind them, bags under her eyes, also wearing some running pants and a fit athletic shirt

Wakana waves at the tired girl. “Morning, Hii-chan!”

Hikaru rubs her eyes, and says in a groggy voice, “Good morning.”

Hikaru tried to make herself sound enthusiastic, but that's definitely not how it came out

You can tell she is disappointed with how early it is

Keiko couldn't help but smile and chuckle a little at the younger girl

“Come on Hii-chan, if you want Kalafina to perform as best as possible, we need to make sure not only our voices but our physical endurance are top-notch too.”

Hikaru nodded and tried to look a little more awake

If there is anything that she was willing to get up early for and pour her heart into, it was Kalafina. She's right, she thought.

Keiko clapped her hands together, “Alright, here’s how this is going to go.”

She tells them her plan

They are going to meet and train together until the start of their next live tour, which is in about two months

They need to meet at least 5-6 times a week, but rest days are important so they won't come every day

They are going to be doing cross training; running, biking, tennis, etc. It’s important to mix it up so your body doesn’t get used to one thing

Wakana crossed her arms, a puzzled look on her face. “Oh, so that’s why I haven’t been getting as much out of my workouts recently… I usually just do a little running and some weights.”

Keiko nodded. “Yes, you need to keep your body guessing. That’s the only way you will continue to improve.”

Wakana and Hikaru listen and nod

Keiko threw her arms up in the air. “Okay, let’s get started! We’ll start out simple today, let’s just do some jogging.”

About 30 mins later

Keiko is jogging, more like pretty quick running, her way around the park

She thought the other two were right behind her, but when she said something and looked over her shoulder, neither of them were there

She stops and turns around to look for them

When she finally spotted them she yelled off into the distance

“GUYS!! Why are you sitting!!!”

Wakana and Hikaru slowed their jogging to a stop and sat on a bench nearby

They open their water bottles and take large gulps of water

Wakana says panting, “Keiko… you go... too fast… We just need a little break.”

Keiko starts walking toward them, exasperated

“Well you can’t just sit down! That ruins the whole purpose of building your endurance!! At least keep walking!!”

Hikaru frowns. This is too much work for someone who hardly ever gets out of the house on days off. 

“Kei-chan, haven’t we done enough for the day??”

Keiko gestures toward her stopwatch. “We’re almost done!! Only 15 more minutes!!”

She turns the other way and starts jogging again

“How can she keep going like that?” Hikaru asked.

Keiko glanced back. “Come on!!” she shouted over her shoulder.

The other two groan and roll themselves off the bench

Wakana, murmuring to Hikaru, “Hikaru, if we break into her house tonight and change all of her alarms, we won’t have to do this again tomorrow.”

They slowly start their jogging back up

Hikaru laughed. “This is going to be a long two months.”

Huh? What is this you ask?

Well.... I caved.

Instead of writing my essay due at midnight I decided to give into the temptations and write one of the ideas for a fanfic I had instead��(─‿─) LOL

I will call this... the beginning of my Kalafics ♪

[datingadviceonreddit]

X-post from r/datingoverthirtyThis is gonna be stupid long but I would appreciate any advice. I am also an overthinker, so I might digress on certain details.Backstory: So it's been about 5 years since I had a real relationship. Im 32 now and think I'm ready to start this whole stupid thing called dating lol. My previous relationship.. We dated for about 4 years, were good friends/co-workers for years before that. All in all it was an ok relationship. We hung out alot, did stuff together like go out to dinner alot, watched movies and TV together, had sex here and there, both sides of parents liked the other person, she did convince me to change my college major to something I had more interest into. The bad parts were she was very verbally abusive like never appreciated things I did for her, would look down on me for stupid stuff, and she hated most of my friends for some reason. I'm pretty sure she was just a closeted bipolar introvert 🤣 Near the end of our relationship we would fight on and off about little things. It finally came to an end when she lost her job because the company went out of business, she didn't like living at her parents anymore and wanted to move out of state. Myself at the time had my own apartment and a steady job. It got to the point where she decided to move out of state and tell me literally the day before she was moving. Before I knew of her plans, That night she came over, we had dinner, watched a movie and had sex, then she dropped the bomb on me. I told her if she was absolutely committed to our relationship I would have really considered moving with her. The company I worked for was nationwide so that wouldn't have been an issue. That was met with a "no thanks, I dont see that happening" and she pretty much left my apt after that and we never spoke again except for some happy birthday texts and short small talk texts a year later. Nothing was ever resolved in a closure type way. The only thing that I know now is that she married some guy down where she lives like a year and a half after our breakup. Im thinking she may cheated on me near the end, but never admitted to it. I had severe depression for about 2-3 years after that. I just basically put it in my head that she died and focused on work and hanging out with friends and going out to the bar and just having fun. I Just had a fuck bitches, get money attitude. Work, have fun, get drunk alot, repeat. There's been a couple girls since then that I have hung out with a few times, mainly Friends of Friends, one one night stand from a bar, may be hooked up with them a few times but nothing of substance. They all seem to have issues, I had the foresight to see at least they would be terrible in a relationship. Those interactions ended as soon as they started because they were crazy. Over the years being in sales help me develop a confidence to talk to almost anybody. I think I can start a conversation pretty well, carry a conversation, I think I'm pretty intelligent and have interesting things to talk about, have interest in many many topics. I do joke around but it's usually like sarcasm and topic based humor. I think I can be complimentative and charming when need be. Now my downfall is that I live by the expectation of a false sense that people will always do the right thing and be responsible and being someone who I can count on. Because I overthink sometimes I create a perception of an interest and it doesn't turn out to meet that expectation. I am also brutally honest at times when I shouldn't be. I run my mouth to get my way sometimes. I think it's related to being aggressive in my previous sales job. I've recognized this and I'm still working on it.Current situation:I frequent this bar a few blocks from my house. I've been going there on and off for about the last 6 years. It's the type of place that I usually go to like Friday and Saturday nights, there's people around my age and they play good music have a good food and drink specials. Usually go there with a group of friends as well whenever we feel like going out, any day of the week. I'm friends with the managers and about 80% of the staff, bullshit around with the owner bunch of times. The owner has directly told me that me and my group of friends are like family there and if we need anything to let him know anytime. Soo..There is a new girl (29 yrs old) that's been working there for about 3 months and I think she's pretty damn cute but never worked up the balls to talk to her. One night going there with my group of friends, it turns out my best friend's brother-in-law came with us. He knew her from back in the day and started catching up. To protect their identity, We'll call him umm 'James' and new girl 'Ashley'. Me and James have hung out maybe about 15 times, I really wouldn't consider him to be a good friend but he's an alright dude to hang out with. We all started talking with her and we all become Facebook friends. About a week later, we are all hanging out having a bonfire, drinking, just having fun. After about midnight, everybody went to bed except for James and I. We were just talking and bullshiting, I mentioned that I had a crush on Ashley. He half joked, "let's text her and see if she'll come over". So he did and she responded and said she would come over for awhile. James kept joking with me saying she was coming over so he could bang her. James has a girlfriend, but they have one of those relationships where they fight, breakup and make up like every 3 weeks. Currently on the 'off week's as I put it. He was mostly bullshitting me to make me jealous. She comes over and we all just sat around the fire and We stayed up till 5 a.m. Just talking and having fun. No bullshit involved. Just talking about everything including how her ex cheated on her recently with a couple girls, how her friends flake on her and how she used to have an office job and only works at the bar because it's fun. After she went home, James stayed in the spare bedroom as I was driving him home the next day.Next time I saw her at the bar, I mentioned that we had fun and we should hang out again. She mentioned she had plans on the following Saturday to go to this other bar that was having a couple country bands playing. It used to be a bar that I would go to a lot in the past and liked. I wanted a chance to hang with her so I agreed to go with her. I didn't really look at it like a date because she told me to invite some friends as well.That Saturday rolls around and I'm excited to see her. We text back and forth about meeting up and taking Uber there because we will probably be drinking. We decide to meet at this bar that her roommate works at, 830 pm. She also mentions that she's had a cold and a small fever. She called me about 6 and says she still wants to go but to give her extra time to get ready and take some medicine. So we push meeting up to about 9. I get to our meeting point at 9 and wait for her, she is 15 minutes late. Whatever no big deal. She shows up in a dress and smelling amazing, I compliment her. I pay for the first to Uber to the bar we were going to. We get there around 9:30, just walk around and she occasionally stops and talks to some random people she knew from there a while back. Small Talk catching up but she included me in the conversation. She introduced me as a friend. We check out some of the band's music, grab a couple drinks, dance a little.. she was flirty in the general conversations we had and at one point was talking selfies of us. We alternated paying for rounds of drinks and shots, I was only kind of buzzed. I'm sure she was too, but I don't know her tolerance like I know mine.2am rolls around and we get Uber again on her phone because mine died, she said let's get food and hang out at my house. We pick up taco bell and take a 20 min Uber back to her place (very close to my house as well). We are sitting together in the back and after about 5 minutes, she lays on me and I put my arm around and just caress her arm. We get to her place, We eat and were hanging out and just listening to Pandora on her living room tv. Had maybe another beer there and just talking and occasionally dancing terribly. We got to one point where I was sitting on the couch and she was in the recliner next to it. I get up and pull her over to the couch, we talked for a minute and I felt it was right to try to kiss her. I gently grabbed her face and tried to pull her in for it. She backed away and said she didn't want a relationship and wasn't looking to hookup. I said ok, I'm sorry I just thought it felt right. I held her hand and just told her I wanted to show her a guy can take her out for a fun time and she deserves better.At right around this point, her roommate comes down for food or something and we just start shooting the shit about sports and stuff. Ashley is like I still don't feel good and I'm tired, takes some cold Medicine and tells me I can sleep on the couch. I was like you have a couple dogs and they are probably gonna bug me all night, I might just go home. Her roommate jokes that Ashley has a king size bed and that she should share. I don't think it was a push to hook her up or anything. Ashley says "yeah you can share the bed with me but no funny business". We go in the room and I want to be respectful. She was laying in plain clothes (t-shirt and jeans). I'm laying next to her on my stomach still in my clothes as well but wide awake. It's a dark room and maybe I felt invincible in what I was saying. I started joking with her that she couldn't fall asleep because I was wide awake. Then I said "I meant what I said earlier, you deserve better. Better friends, better relationships, a better job." I dont really know why I said it, but I always fall for broken girls and think I can fix them or make their life better. I still joked around and then asked if she reconsidered that funny business. She was like "what do you mean, we're not having sex". I said "no, nothing like that maybe just making out. I don't know, I'm half joking". She was like "no, I'm about to fall asleep" and did almost instantly. I laid there for about 20 minutes while she fell asleep. I was literally still wide awake and didn't want her to be weirded out with me in the morning. I order an Uber on my phone back to my car. Sober by now. The Uber arrives and I wake her up and tell her I'm just going to let her get sleep because she is sick. She walked me to the door and we hug. I said "I had fun tonight and I'm sorry for being forward earlier". She said "it's okay maybe I lead you on some how".I don't really worry too much about it except for the end of the night being sort of a creeper. Monday rolls around and the bar is having a birthday celebration for one of the older bartenders. I'm friends with her so naturally I go up after work (10pm ish) with my best friend, his wife, his brother I hang with alot ('Mark') and their cousin ('Andrew').We are watching Monday Night Football and having a couple drinks and just celebrating the whole birthday thing. Ashley is there with a friend of hers, I don't really say anything to her for awhile. She said hi to me in passing I took that chance to talk to her for a few minutes. Everything seemed okay. The staff there decided they wanted to close around 1 to go to the casino afterward for the bartenders birthday. They start closing down and Ashley started to help them with some cleaning. All the staff was almost ready to go, but they changed their mind on the casino and said they were going to a strip club that the bar owner had buddies that worked at and and asked if any of our friends wanted to go. I said no I don't have money for that, I'm just going home. The bar owner said "don't worry about that, they are only open for like another hour. Just bring your friends and I'll get you in for free and I'll buy some beer for you guys". My best friend and his wife went home because they were tired and had to work in the morning. I was off the next day so I agreed to go. Me, Mark, and Andrew went in Andrews car and met them there.So when we get in, it's my group I came with, the birthday bartender, 3 other bar staff members, the bar owner, Ashley and her friend. We just hang around at this table, drinking a couple beers, joking around, making paper airplanes out of a stack of dollars and shooting them at the girls there lol. Just good old fun. No one got lap dances or anything. They close like an hour or so after, Ashley offers for people to come to her house to hang out. Not really to party, just hang out or sober up or sleep.Everybody except for the bar owner and birthday girl go over to the house. We are all hanging out in this basement just having another drink, listening to music and talking. I don't really talk to Ashley, because I'm letting her do her host thing and I didn't want to bother her. I was also drunk as hell from doing shots and drinking beer and I didn't want to do or say something stupid. About 45 minutes, Somehow some of the guys that work at the strip club come over and thought it was a party. They showed up with a bunch of weed, cocaine and Hennessy and a stripper chick.At this point, the bar co-workers leave. I do a couple Henny shots with one of the dudes. Ashley asks me to come upstairs and talk real quick. She takes me in her room and asked who those people are and how they got the address. I said I don't know. She said "maybe I'm naive but I've never been in this situation. I don't know them and I don't want them here, will you help me get them out of here?" I said sure, I'll see what I can do. Literally at that moment, everyone is upstairs now in the living room. We hear a loud bang in the bathroom. There is my friend Mark basically blacked out in the bathroom and he pissed himself. I'm pissed off that I have to babysit him and embarrassed that Ashley had to deal with that. Andrew and I agreed that we should probably take Mark home. I'm moving Mark into the living room when I see Ashley hanging around the strip club guys. They had a plate with Coke lines on it. Ashley had the plate in her hand but handed it off to the guy and said I'm good for now. I'm thinking she was offered some and refused. In the process of Andrew and I getting mark out of the door to the car, Ashley starts being really obnoxious and anxious repeating herself and saying that we can all just stay there and it's ok. Andrew and Mark are outside by this point. I said no we're just leaving. She kept being really anxious and I asked her why are you so wound up and anxious. I look into her eyes and they're open really wide and she utters I just did some coke. Me being drunk, I almost over react because it's a jarring situation and she's told me she's only done it like twice in her life. The girl I like and have a crush on is doing drugs after asking me to help get rid of those type of people. I asked her if we could speak in private and she refused. She said she would text me tomorrow. I later found out she said she was feeling overwhelmed with the situation and that's why she did it. I gave her a really sarcastic 'have a good night' and left.We go back to my house and everyone goes to bed. I'm in my room and I'm fucking boiling pissed at this point. I think all the liquor hit me and I overreacted and I couldn't contain myself. I got on my phone and I texted her. I went on this mini rant about how I was disappointed in her and if she was going to do drugs I didn't want to know her. I told her that's not my life or scene, that my friends don't do shit like that. Also saying I was disgusted in her decisions and how I was pissed that she asked for my help and then basically did the opposite. That maybe I built up an image of her in my head and it was wrong. I fall asleep. I woke up around noon the next day to an essay long text with terrible grammar and no punctuation at all. She basically yelled back at me and shamed me for making her out to be a horrible person and that I don't know her or what she's been through. That she's never been in a situation like that and felt overwhelmed and that's why she asked for my help. But then even said I'm probably just overreacting because I was drunk. I text her back and apologize, run some damage control saying it was just coming from a good place. She then almost brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal, blaming it on that I was drunk and probably didn't get good sleep the night before.I don't talk to her for about 3 days and then see her at the bar when I went up there. That night she saw me only said hi and only that. I was going to try to talk to her but she left early and took another female co-worker home.I text her something to the effect of "do you still hate me? I just don't want you to think I'm a complete asshole. I really was only looking out for you..let's talk sometime". The next night I go up there with some friends to hang out. She's working again. She said hi to me, sorry I didn't reply to your text I wanted to but I was busy all day. I just pulled her into me and hugged her and said I'm sorry. We then had random conversations throughout the night for like a few minutes at a time. Not mentioning what happened but just talking about different things. The bar closes at 2 but my friends wanted to leave at 1 to go have a bonfire and drink at the house. I invite two of the bartenders that were off already earlier that I know back and Ashley. They all said yeah we'll come over after everybody gets out of here. Ashley said she was kind of tired but would probably come. 330am rolls around no one shows so I'm like whatever man, I tried. My best friend's wife and one of her friends Uber up to this 24-hour diner nearby while me and besty stay at the house. Guess who's up at the diner? Ashley with some other co-worker. Best friend's wife went up to her and said "I thought you were coming over". Ashley said no I'm tired and just wanted food. Have not seen or talked to her since then. The other two bartenders text me in the morning and apologized for not coming saying they were too drunk and went home. I'm ok with that.So anyways in talking with many of my friends about this. I've gained some perspective on what I want in a relationship. I know I want all the right things, to do the right thing and to have someone that will provide support I can count on. It's just hard not knowing if I should continue pursuing Ashley or to move on. I know I fucked up I overreacting to the situation earlier in the week. I just don't know how she feels about the entire thing. I find myself staring at her picture because she's so damn beautiful. She has cute tendencies and surprisingly is kind of shy. I just don't know if it's really being shy and there's so much more to learn, or if she is truly something like a drug addict and manipulative or or she's just a broken soul and I feel like I have to fix it. That's my overthinking issue. This shit stresses me out.Tl;dr: Ex was a shitty bitch that fucked me up and now I had a decent "date" with a new girl but drunkenly overreacted to a recent drug use. Wat do? via /r/dating_advice

[tuukks]

Get to know me tag game!

tagged by @solidsnake 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 ty for the tag im bored as fuccccc 😩 (i was gunna do this on the computer so i could do a read more but i can’t b bothered i’m sorry lmao)

LAST:

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: UHHH mom i think 3. Text message: dad (im cool and have friends i promise) 4. Song you listened to: drugs by kohh 5. Time you cried: literally like 5 min ago HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: aaaaalmost 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: when do i not regret it 🤔🤔🤔 8. Been cheated on: LMAOOO idr the number but uh yea a few times 9. Lost someone special: mhm 10. Been depressed: 😂😂😂 since i was born wym 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no actually! 12-14. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: pink, gold, royal blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: ummmmmm not this year actually lol 16. Fallen out of love: not a new concept 4 me 17. Laughed until you cried: oh yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeeeaaaaa 19. Met someone who changed you: oh 4 sure 20. Found out who your friends are: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm still not sure 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: oh maybe,,,never go on there, they might still be there lol

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: pretty much all of em, fb too personal for randos 23. Do you have any pets: 😢 no 24. Do you want to change your name: i gave up on hating my name its aight.. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: had a bad day 26. What time did you wake up: prolly 10,,wow… never sleep in that late… 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i can’t remember, next question 28. Name something you can’t wait for: the monsta x concert on the 21st 😩😩😩 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: few weeks ago ): 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: someone zap this bpd/depression/anxiety outta my brain thats all i want 31. What are you listening right now: nuthin 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: uhhh i mean probably ? but i don’t recall 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: literally fucking everyone lmaoo 34. Most visited website: issa tie between twitter & tumblr im such a loser

RANDOM INFO:

35. Mole/s: got em on my body 36. Mark/s: 1 on my jawline and 1 on my lower back 37. Childhood dream: UMMM to be happy lol 38. Hair color: it’s weird & silver/purple right now 39. Long or short hair: always short 41. What do you like about yourself: i’m empathetic and understanding. i have a really good handle on my behavior even tho no one rlly notices that 42. Piercings: literally none, never been pierced 43. Blood type: i have nooo fuckin idea 44. Nickname: hani 45. Relationship status: single af man 46. Zodiac: leo 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: GHOST ADVENTURES been a fan since like 2009 i love it sm 49. Tattoos: sadly none 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: never had surgery 🙏🏼 52. Hair dyed in different color: yuh 53. Sport: hockey 55. Vacation: like…ideal location ? i’m dying to visit china so i can cry the whole time 56. Pair of trainers: nike

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nuthing 58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: fucking die,,just kidding im gunna decide on a movie to watch 61. Waiting for: this week to end lmao 62. Want: to be fucking happy for like 5 seconds perhaps ? 63. Get married: i’d rly rly like to 64. Career: haha who tf knows

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses 66. Lips or eyes: oh lips definitely 67. Shorter or taller: i like short guys nd girls. wanted someone tall 4 a long time but fuck it i love shorties….. 68. Older or younger: older maybe 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms 71. Sensitive or loud: i wanna say sensitive.. 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: kinda ? 75. Drank hard liquor: of course 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope i keep track of em pretty well 77. Turned someone down: i mean yeah probably 78. Sex on the first date: lmao no 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah 80. Had your heart broken: not romantically 81. Been arrested: no thank god 82. Cried when someone died: mhm 83. Fallen for a friend: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: i do but that don’t mean much 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: yknow, it might be possible but its not a thing u would be aware of u feel me 87. Santa Claus: i really did when i was younger 88. Kiss on the first date: i would

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: me baby sierra 91. Eye color: green/blue 92. Favorite movie: i was gunna say inglorious basterds but i think it’s battle royale 😩😩👌🏼

i feel like i always tag the same ppl & i jus dont know who my mutuals are anymore so basically if ur interested u can do it & say i tagged u

[wizard-techno-wizard]

88 questions

I was tagged by @we-fit-like-mittens​ thank you! :) 

Last 1. Drink? water 2. Phone call? i think my dad called me 3. Text message? dad again 4. Song you listened to? Catacoombs by Deep East Music  5. Time you cried? uh last week i think

Have you 6. Dated someone twice? no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it? nope 8. Been cheated on? no 9. Lost someone special? no special to me 10. Been depressed? no 11. Gotten drunk a thrown up? nope

List 3 favourite colours 12. mint green 13. sky blue 14. and any pastel colour 

In the last year have you 15. Made new friends? not really 16. Fallen out of love? no 17. Laughed until you cried? yeah 18. Found someone was talking about you? no 19. Met someone who changed you? nope 20. Found out who your friends are? umm no? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list? no

General questions 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl? all of them, i dont have many ahaha 23. Do you want to change your name? not really 24. What did you do for your last birthday? got a tattoo and went out for a Chinese 25. What time did you wake up? 6:20  26. What were you doing at midnight last night? i was asleep i think 27. Name something you can’t wait for? getting my drivers license/a car 28. When was the last time you saw your mum? an hour ago  29. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life? weight idk lol  30. What are you listening to right now? Entropy by Psychedelic Porn Crumpets  31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? in high school  32. Something that is getting on your nerves? when my stuff gets touched/ moved without telling me  33. Most visited website? youtube

Random info 34. Moles? ye a few  35. Marks? i have a few cuts and scratches from work but no real marks  36. Childhood dream? uh voice over announcements like on TV  37. Hair colour? dark brown 38. Long or short hair? short 39. Do you have a crush on someone? nope  40. What do you like about yourself? um.. i get along with most people? idk lol 41. Piercings? four on left ear one on right 42. Blood type? no idea 43. Nickname? Steph but its pretty much used as my name by everyone ahaha 44. Relationship status? single   45. Zodiac? Aries 46. Pronouns?  She/her  47. Favourite tv show? i dont really have one but Nichijou is pretty funny  48. Tattoos? a snall geometric fox on my left forearm 49. Right or left hand? right 50. Surgery? no 51. Hair ever been dyed? yeah my finge is died white, i need to go back but i recently changed hair dresses so ive been putting it off ahaha. 52. Sport? none ahah 53. Vacation? i used to go to Ukraine a lot to see famaily but since college and stuff i have been 54. Pair of trainers? i honestly dont think i own a pair.

More general 55. Eating? nothing, banned from dinner aahaha 56. Drinking? water 57. I’m about to? go on youtube 58. Waiting for? my college certificate 59. Want? to go on my driving lesson which is happening tomorrow 60. Get married? nah 61. Career? sound effects for movis and games is the dream aha

Which is better? 62. Hugs or kisses? uh hugs 63. Lips or eyes? lips? 64. Shorter or taller? taller then me i suppose 65. Older or younger? older i guess  66. Nice arms or stomach? i dont care 67. Sensitive or loud? well im quiet so loud i suppose  68. Hook up or relationship? relationship 69. Troublemaker or hesitant? uh honestly a nice mix ahahaha

Have you ever 70. Kissed a stranger? no 71. Drunk hard liquor? not that i can remember, i prefer light fruit stuff anyway 72. Lost glasses? yeah in like y8 of highschool ahaha 73. Turned someone down? well i said yes cus he wouldn’t leave me alone then i dumped him after like 30 mins 74. Sex in the first date? nope 75. Broken someone’s heart? i dont think so? 76. Had your heart broken? nah 77. Been arrested? no 78. Cried when someone died? no  79. Fallen for a friend? nope

Do you believe in 80. Yourself? umm ahaha 81. Miracles? eh  82. Love at first sight? no really, not love anyway 83. Santa Claus? not now 84. Kiss on the first date? idk 85. Angels? ehh kind off ehh

Other 87. Current best friend’s name? Charlotte  88. Eye colour? Blue/green

I aint taggin anyone but feel free to do this :) 

[heckyeahsurveys]

#262

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

probs just morning since he’s my boyfriend and i’ve woken up naked next to him before lol

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

we’re together

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

nah as long as they’re not dependent, like to the point where it fucks w/ their daily lives

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

it is 6 letters

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

sure 

7. What does your last received text say?

“ya welcome my sweetheart”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

more than i could count

9. Where was your last kiss at?

my front door 

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

like 20 mins ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water and tea

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

i don’t think so?? come back to me in a few months i guess lol

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

nah

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

not at all

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

sunny

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

yep many ppl 

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

i’m not wearing pants 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

fuck knows, would be nice but i literally couldn’t tell u at this point

20. Does anyone like you?

well yeh

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

lol yeh

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

nah

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

probs

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yeh n i’m gonna

25. In the past week have you cried?

SO much hahahah, it’s been an emotional week 

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

idk 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

out of the shower wtf

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

not professional or anything lol

29. Do you think you’re old?

no

30. Do you like text messaging?

sure

31. What type of day are you having?

alright

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

thought about it but i wouldn’t

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

warm

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yeh

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

a relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

idk

37. What song are you listening to?

besitos by ptv lmao

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

depends but usually 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

yeh there’s a couple 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i’m not sure what made me start liking him tbh, probs just that he’s a cutie 41. When did you last receive a text message?

3 mins ago 42. What is wrong with you right now?

i don’t even fucking know, exams i guess 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

v well 44. Does anyone disgust you?

no? 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no cos am already dating someone

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

nah but i ain’t bad, just ok 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

liz 48. What color shirt are you wearing?

green 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

lol probs 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

myself 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

no??

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

i don’t think so 53. Do you like rain?

sometimes 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

nah 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

yeh many ppl over the years 56. Do you like to cuddle?

yessss 57. Are you shy?

not rly 58. Do you get along with girls?

bit of a generalisation but for the most part yeh?? 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

am rn 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

phone, tissues, earphones, probs baccy/a light, polos and lip balm, and water  61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

probs 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

hopefully 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

nope 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

yeh that’s cute 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

yeh cos jack’s well cute all the time

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

19, 16, and 16 (had to check the third guys fb, he’s 17 in a week lol)

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   

do them myself  68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

neither 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

don’t have a car 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

idk who luke bryan is so??? 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?   

iphone  72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

idk time ago 73. Do you like diet soda?    

i guess 74. What color are the walls in your room?    

yellow n white 75. Are you 16 or older?    

yeh am 17  76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

nope 77. Do you have a job?    

no   78. What are your initials?    

eln 79. Did you ever have braces?    

yeh 80. Are you from the south?    

nooo

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

my last status was probs in 2012 or smth so idk 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

yeh we’re best buds  83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

i don’t even fucking know anymore  84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

gymnastics yeh 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

guardians of the galaxy 2 86. Do you smoke?    

yeah 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

heels any day, fucking hate flip flops 88. Is your phone touch screen?    

yeh it’s 2017 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

straight 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

nope  91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

idk probs a pool but there’s smth special about a river/lake or w/e so any tbh 92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

nope 93. …Had sex in a car?    

nope 94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

in a relationship 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

not sleeping 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

bonfire night?? or new year i guess cos on both those nights they’re just everywhere  97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

i guess 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

no 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

yeh lol, outside holiday inn x 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? 

idk don’t think so    101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

nah 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

none of them? 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

yeh on my knees lmao 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

probs not but u never know what might happen

[some-far-far-away-land]

Chesca's Current Status

I wish that every weekend could be as inspiring and motivating as the ones I have when I go to Toronto.

this weekend started off pretty serious and sad. Friday afternoon I had to talk to my parents about everything that happened with me after Reading Week. That meant explaining to them a bit of what happened between Thavi and i and the people who I thought would have helped me get through the break up, but ended up making the whole situation worse. I had to tell them how low my self esteem and motivation to do anything was. How I thought that I deserved to be feeling these things and the anxiety that I developed because of thavi and his actions. It wasn’t a pretty conversation and of course it had to happen at McDonalds.

After they left I met up with Jack and Jose for this party their friends were throwing. It was pretty fun and I got pretty drunk. During the party this guy I I’ve frequently been seeing messaged me if I wanted to go to Phil’s that night. Of course I said yes, even though I wasn’t expecting to go out. They got to Waterloo around midnight (they're from Toronto) and we got into the club around 12:40ish, so enough time to have fun. At this point I was already pretty tipsy and borderline drunk. We got drinks right when we got in and started dancing. I wanted to dance with him, him being Jacob. He brought one of his friends down and we coincidentally met his friends cousin at Phil’s. At one point they were all talking and I was dancing behind Jacob and drunk chesca wasn’t having the lack of attention, so I went and had fun myself and danced on the poles. I had so much fun by myself! I danced with some girls and kept an eye on Jacob but didn’t care so much, since he was with his friend and found girls to dance with. Couldn’t be salty or be like possessive since we are just like fwb anyway. Later on in the night I had to use the washroom, I was pretty wasted, the night is pretty blurry at this point. Someone stopped me on the way to the washroom and said “hey chesca” I couldn’t recognize who it was at first and then I realized it was thavi. I was like oh hi… thavi?! And then kept walking lol by the time it got to like 2AM I was pretty gone and my phone was gonna die. I started looking for my coat check ticket and I couldn’t find it. Also at this point I couldn’t find Jacob or his friend and I was like totally wasted. So I called a cab to take me home, Jacob joined me after and he was pretty drunk. We had our fun that night and he left with his friend in the morning.

I was supposed to go with them but I was pretty hung over and feeling drunk still when he woke up at 9am. So I actually got a ride to Toronto from Jack and his friend. Felt pretty queasy on the drive there. I hadn’t eaten all day and by the time I did eat it was like 5pm. I was supposed to meet with Sylvia earlier in the afternoon but she made plans with other friends prior too, so I met up with King and we went to dim sum, like we did when we went on our first date. We were supposed to go to the harbour front but the place we planned was busy since a jays game had just ended. It was nice to see him and catch up. After I met with sylvia and we commuted back to her house, which took almost 2 hrs from downtown. We had really good talks, she told me what happened with her and josh and her break up and the crazy drama behind it. We ended up talking till like 3AM that day. It felt like the old times and I missed having sylvia around to talk with and have quality conversations with.

We ended up getting up at 11:30am and eating lunch at her house. After we got ready we headed to PMALL! It was like a 30 min walk from her house. We got bbt, ate some good “street food” and we bought new phone cases! I got this nice sparkly one! I haven’t gotten a new case in awhile and I enjoy how new it makes my phone feel! I ended up leaving her at 5 because this guy who I had befriended from the Alex and Will concert wanted to meet up. It was supposed to be a group of us but everyone bailed but him. He said he was downtown and wanted to grab dinner. Our plans was to meet up after 7. That time comes around and I don’t hear from him so I decided to just walk around Chinatown and grab cheap buns at one of those Asian bakeries and read my book. I still don’t know what happened to him. I got back to my friends place around 9:30 and just stayed there, making my Spotify playlists and listening to music. Went to bed pretty late too.

I didn’t wake up till like 1PM. I’m pretty sure I experienced my first sleep paralysis situation that night because I had a very vivid dream where I couldn’t move anything but I was conscious. It was a really weird and scary experience. When I finally had control off my body I just forced myself to go back to sleep. I had the weirdest sensation while I was like frozen. It felt like a really strong presence was like hugging me like I’m on my side and they’re hugging me from the back, but it was like a squeezing feeling. I dont know it was weird.

Anyways woke up, and got ready to go get food with Celene. We ate in Chinatown and walked to the eaton centre and spent time at sephora and walking downtown. Commenting on cute guys that passed us and having quality girl time. I’ve never really spent summers in Toronto and after this weekend, I look forward to the adventures I’ll be having there in the next few months. I found a carpool for 9PM so I was just kind of chilling until then. Out of the blue this guy I had matched on tindr like 2.5 years ago (the same time I matched with Billy) 

 ---side story--- 

So this guy, his name is Patrick (lol so many Filipino's names patrick) I remember him specifically because the summer of 2015, when I went on a whole bunch of tindr dates, I matched up with him and Billy at the same time. I was leaving toronto and it was supposed to be my last tindr adventure and then when school started I was just gonna focus on school, work, and all the extracurriculars I was a part of. I ended up going with billy because our talks on the phone the week leading up to our first meet up were really good. Obviously we started dating and then patrick just ended up being another guy that I became friends with on social media. 

Anyways he messaged me, we hadn’t talked in awhile. We were supposed to meet up that weekend I went for the Alex and Will concert but man went too hard at the gym and had to cancel. I like how he asked me to dinner too. He was just like “have dinner with me!” Not even asking just stating it. I liked his confidence. I wasn’t expecting for this to pan out to be honest since the last two times we were supposed to hangout he flopped, for good reasons though, but I just felt like I wasn’t supposed to meet this guy for some reason. We met up around where my carpool was supposed to pick me up and we went to this really nice izakaya place. I honestly felt like a bum, like I was wearing a shirt dress and a hat because I was heading home and my hair was starting to get greasy.

So since my break up with thavi, I haven’t really felt romantically attracted to any guys. I’ve honestly just been using them to fulfill needs and have fun. I think I am also subconsciously not letting myself get emotionally attached because my heart is still healing and I don't think I can take another disappointment. That and no one really peaked my interest in like a relationship way, since my standards went up pretty high after all the drama that happened with thavi. The night before too I was thinking about deleting tindr and just letting God bring me a man when He thought I was ready. After meeting this guy though and hanging out with him I found myself getting nervous, a bit self conscious, and like I felt little flutters in my stomach. He actually had me feeling something, and in turn it got me acting different from myself. I felt like I really wanted to give him a good first impression, and not like just be half there. I even put my phone away and didn’t rely on it. I honestly haven’t genuinely laughed that much in awhile, my cheeks actually hurt. I didn’t feel like I had to force myself to like this guy, he made it easy. He was such a gentleman and our conversation didn’t lack, I didn’t have to push for it to continue and he had so much energy and things to talk about. It was refreshing. He ended up staying with me until my carpool. I was actually genuinely sad that the date had ended and it felt like the time went by super fast. Two hours felt like 30 mins.

Even though we didn’t meeting up till now, we’ve followed each other on social media and seeing his updates and posts about his life and personally hearing the successes he achieved in the span of 2.5 years really motivated me to get my life around and focus on those life goals and bucket list things I set aside in the 2.5 years I’ve been dating and absorbed in the guys I was in relationships with. unlike all the dates I’ve gone on the past 2 months this one I feel like it may go somewhere, but I’m trying not expecting anything. Just gonna see how it goes the next few weeks, while focusing on the things I told my parents I would be doing. He just kind of restored my faith in guys, that there are still good ones out there. He has hit a lot of my main criteria points so far too! 1. He’s older (25) 2. He can carry a conversation 3. His energy is pretty equal to mine 4. He is very career driven 5. He was funny and interesting to hang with 6. He’s Filipino so that’s a plus 7. He dresses well and looked like he tried to look nice for our meet up. 8. He also encouraged me to continue to strive for my goals and even offered advice!

After I just had this feeling that I know there was a reason why the other times didn’t work out with meeting up with him. Gods timing is perfect and he’ll bring people and take people out of our lives at the right time. I think this was the right time to have met him to be honest.

So yea after our meet up or date whatever you call it, I carpooled home, and got back around 10:30pm. I dont know why I wanted to document this weekend. I guess it was one of first weekends where I didn’t feel like escaping, I just wanted to go to have fun. My main reason was to be with sylvia as she helped me out a lot with my break up so I wanted to show her the same support. She’s doing a lot better then I was 2 weeks into the break up that’s for sure. Anyways imma end it here, I have work at 8am and it’s 3:30am 😅

[ellyrad]

idc i was bored so 🤷🏽‍♀️

ASK ME THINGS 1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? -linda… i’m pretty sure we’ll both be like , “biiitch wtf did you do” 😂 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? -aha…. i just started this don’t make me cry already 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? -i mean…. if it’s like the hardcore ones i’ll be shook. but if it’s just weed then we smokin each other out 🤷🏽‍♀️ 4. Is your last name longer than six letters? -yee 5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? -sober 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? -it is what it is 7. What does your last received text say? -“we’re texting now” 8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? -bitch…too many 9. Where was your last kiss at? -my sister’s room 😭😭 10. When is the last time you saw your sister? -fuuuck, like… a week ago. i get sad thinking about it bc i know she’s happily cuffed with somebody but… the only time where i need her the most and she’s always busy :/ but at least she’s happy yfm 11. What do you drink in the morning? -water 12. Where did you sleep last night? -my bed 13. Do you think relationships are hard? -honestly … yeah but you just gotta work through that shit together 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? -bitch yes, let me get my mans back 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? -he hates me and prob texting his new boo 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? -sunny bc it helps w my depression tbh 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? -carly RAE jepsen but like … 18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? -pajama 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? -idk, i don’t think i’m ready for anything new rn, esp since i’m still going through alot and idk when i’ll ever be over it. but hopefully i’ll wanna be HAPPY not with anyone; but with friends, family and myself 20. Does anyone like you? -i bet but idc 21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? -STOP 22. Is the last person you kissed gay? -hahaha i hope so 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? -nahhhh not really 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? -next one is prob gonna be three tally marks or eeyore lol 25. In the past week have you cried? -idk, i wasn’t counting **hurtbae** 26. What breed was the last dog you saw? -shiba??? 27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? -in the shower.. 28. Have you ever kissed a football player? -BITCH .. yeah 29. Do you think you’re old? -nooo 30. Do you like text messaging? -yes 31. What type of day are you having? -kill me 32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? -i have, but nah too much maintenance 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? -warm bc it makes me happy 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? - yes but ugh 35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? -relationship, i’m too emotional 36. Are you a simple or complicated person? -both it depends 37. What song are you listening to? -my stomach growling 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? -yes. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? -hmmm yasmine? but not everything currently 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? -bc he was very nice and always made an effort 41. When did you last receive a text message? -7 min ago 42. What is wrong with you right now? -a l o t of things 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? -like…83% well? 44. Does anyone disgust you? -mmm nah 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? -noooooo no thank you nooo 46. Are you in a good mood right now? -i don’t know what that means 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? -yasmine 48. What color shirt are you wearing? -his obey jacket…. ugh 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? -this fucking …girl who’s just being dumb and going on a trip with her ex. like im so heated thinking about it 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? -i should 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? -i can’t 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? -mood 53. Do you like rain? -i hate it i hate it, and i used to love it. fuck 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? -no 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? -ya 56. Do you like to cuddle? -yess 57. Are you shy? -depending who i meet 58. Do you get along with girls? -ehh, if they look chill 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? -uh strictly dickly 60. What do you carry with you at all times? -keys forsure 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? -not by myself!! 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? -yes 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? -yes :((( 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? -biTCHHHH I would cry 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? -cute???? NO 66. How old are the last three people you kissed? -HAHAHHA, uh, 24, 20, and 19 67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? -do them myself but if i’m extra lazy and i got the money then i’ll get them done 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? -leopard 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? -the marine sticker 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? -lil wayne 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? -iphone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? -shiiiit idk tbh 73. Do you like diet soda? -no 74. What color are the walls in your room? -white 75. Are you 16 or older? -yee 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? -no 77. Do you have a job? -ye 78. What are your initials? -DRLA 79. Did you ever have braces? -i get them off november ahhh 80. Are you from the south? -noo 81. What does your last status on facebook say? -single, but i never change it anyway 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? -nahhh but i wish we were friends tho 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? -mom 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? -cheer and idk how i was even good at it 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? -get out :(( 86. Do you smoke? -id like to do it more often bc i know i need to 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? -ff 88. Is your phone touch screen? -ye 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? -wavy 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? -ya 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? -i can’t even swim lmaooo 92. Have you ever made out in a car? -girlllll 93. …Had sex in a car? -GIRLLLLLLLLL is lit 94. Are you single or in a relationship? -depressed 95. What were you doing last night at midnight? -crying hahahaha 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? -AHHHH fourth of july :(( 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? -it’s okay, but the iphone 7’s portrait is hella nice 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? -its dumb i hate it, never again 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? -i’d like to 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? -no 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? -nahhh 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: - 103. Do you have any tan lines right now? -i don’t even go out in the sun 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? -lmao bye