#well not 100% new but still
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New birb just dropped
#well not 100% new but still#i fucking love him#i also fucking love parrots#vassago#vassago helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss#helluva boss vassago#helluva boss art#helluva boss goetia#digital artist#digital art#my art shit#sketches#doodled#parrot#helluva boss season two#helluva boss fandom#artist on tumblr#art#my art#my art <3#digital drawing
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because there is nothing to lose the people saying biden should resign now so kamala can still be the first female president are absolutely right but why stop there? inauguration day is 70 days away let's make "president for a day" a real thing. say "fuck it we ARE going to do the arbitrary quota DEI bullshit you accuse us of" and speedrun first [category] presidents. revolving door type thing.
first female president. first openly gay president. first transgender president. first president who has been to space. first president gamer president. first mime president. just play president bingo and hit as many categories as possible while we still can. make all of trump's #47 merch unusable by forcing him to be the 115th president instead. who cares anymore let's peacefully transition power but do it in the most chaotic hot-potato way possible
#us politics#politics tw#election 2024#joe biden#kamala harris#this is how bernie can still win!!!#like fuck it even let hillary have it for a day since she wanted it so freakin bad#each person pardons the one before and half the action is just pardons#if they're gonna dismantle the justice system as well as all the other systems of government just preemptively pardon anyone#if there's a policy that really needs to get passed just do executive order chain where each new person goes 'ditto'#make everything so frickin complicated to untangle that the trump admin has to spend the first 100 days#just sorting through paperwork#maybe malicious compliance and bureaucracy was the answer all along#'i guess you guys wanna do autocracy but we're gonna make it really irritating for you'
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Maybe it’s because I just spent the last four days watching my sister’s toddlers while mildly sleep deprived, but I gotta say Peri has PEAK “childfree young adult who was the youngest person in their family naively volunteers to watch recalcitrant child assuming they’d automatically be The Cool Adult Relative only to realize they have no idea how to balance being indulgent with being responsible and gets overwhelmed within five minutes” energy
10/10 I have never felt so seen by a cartoon before
#peri cosma#dev dimmadome#the fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#spoilers#side note I’m pretty sure I heard Hazel’s dad call her ‘Hazelnut’ and it is the most precious thing I’ve ever heard#I think I love the Wells family lol#the sun shines#should I keep tagging his old name? pretty sure everyone knows they’re the same character by now and his new tag seems pretty well#established by this point#for the record my sister’s kids still think I’m the coolest person so I did SOMETHING right but Y’ALL I FELT PERI SO HARD HERE#broke 100#broke 500#broke 1000
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#it’s 100% our choices that get him killed and yet we still make fun of arthur for making bad decisions (i am not exempt from this)#/lh#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#specifically thinking about all of us seeing the worm infested zombie prince and going ‘FRIEND YES NEW FRIEND’#malevolent spoilers#ehhh not really but might as well
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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Happy Pride Month everyone!
Lets all ponder the gay ass apple with Kazui.
#milgram#milgram fanart#iris draws#kazui mukuhara#I forgot the stripes on his vest#oops... oh well#i struggle with drawing kazui more than other prisoners (it's the face)#i should really practice drawing him more (or just anyone who isn't mikoto)#(i draw mikoto wayyyy to often he's like my default guy)#fun fact: i drew this a couple days ago but couldn't think of a funny caption#anyways it's pride month baby!#i think i'm asexual but i'm not 100% sure#like i've found people aesthetically “pretty” in the past but not like sexually attractive#like i don't want to fuck or date them#i just think they look/dress nice#but i also i'm just fairly reclusive so... maybe there are just no sexy people in my area?#i'll be entering college soon anyway so i'll definitely have the chance to meet some new people#but i still think the chance of me actually finding someone attractive is 1 in 1000000#sorry for rambling a bit i just thought i should say something
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New Age AU (Obtaining Killer)
Hey guys! Through with a bot of stuff for the day and I have a sneaking suspicion that this stress headache will not leave me until I finish some projects for work, so I *may* be m.i.a. for a hot second until they stop.
In the meantime, I want to drop this! (Unedited, unrefined, raw off the slab style)
Andddd @ancha-aus and @papiliovolens ! Hello! (Mutzelputz if u see this, the tags weren't working for some reason, I apologize.)
Hope y'all enjoy!
Ccino had convinced him to leave the castle. After nearly a year had passed since his last true public appearance. Since he'd stolen the apple from his brother. Nine months had passed since he'd sent Dream away. He tried not to think about it.
Nightmare had been finding out a lot about his magic. How it made him jittery, and how he felt like he understood so much more. How it made him deeply paranoid, quick to react.
How it made people listen to him.
He figured it was because he was scary now. The negative magic condensed over every inch of his bone wasn't exactly appealing, and the extra limbs which had sprouted from his spine now acted like his own personal weapons. If someone didn't listen, didn't give him an answer he liked, the limbs moved without him even thinking.
It had taken time to learn to better control them. Even now, they writhed in his wake. His nerves expressed through their lashing and twitching as they hovered just above the ground.
The streets weren't exactly crowded.
Upon word of the King's arrival to this small providence, Nightmare had found that many people fled from his path. His travel party of several soldiers, and himself on horseback. He'd always wanted to ride horses. The traitor twin was someone that every citizen wished to avoid.
Ccino had coaxed him outside with promises of fresh air. Apparently there were promising young members of the city guard that Ccino swore would be wonderful future knights. Young warriors for him to bring up loyally under his name, no fear of betrayal.
It had made sense, at the time, but Nightmare hadn't chosen to recruit any of them.
It wasn't to say he didn't want to. Several of the humans and monsters were very talented, and he did his best to give them praise, but he could tell. None of them wanted to work under him. They didn't like him. Rejection and hatred that had pierced him immediately, he could practically taste it.
Ultimately, they would do better here in their hometown. A place they were passionate about protecting, and with people they cared for. Night would not try to mold promising soldiers into his perfect guard. No matter how smart of an idea it may have been.
And so he'd moved on.
Night had visited several smaller shops, onces which couldn't afford to refuse him, and he bought some fabrics, a trinket, some small thing from each place he stopped by. He payed exactly the price he needed for each thing. He wouldn't bribe his people, either. The best he could do would be to remain neutral.
He did discover, against all odds, that he was enjoying this day out. Ccino was, in fact, usually correct about this sort of thing.
The travel had been enriching. Almost exciting. He'd never gotten out of the castle much at all, this was all new and excitingly mundane.
Good things do not last forever.
It was almost sunset when he noticed it. Torches being set up, a platform prepared. A crowd gathering.
An execution, came the mutter from one of his soldiers. Though he recognized the set-up, Night had never been in attendance to an execution. He was morbidly curious. The crowd held such a contempt. A broiling hunger for blood.
He wished he'd wheeled his horse away when a few people were ushered out of a nearby building.
The prison, maybe?
There weren't many of them. Nightmare dismounted his steed, and much to the dismay of the soldiers at his side, he found himself sinking. Into the growing shadows cast by the dying sun.
He re-emerged beside the stage, where the few people were lined up. Ready for death by hanging.
That trick wasn't one that Nightmare quite understood yet, but he was always drawn to feelings of intense negativity. He knew that, now. Something about these prisoners were bothering him, even at a distance, and he found himself more curious as he stood before them.
His guards, at the back of the crowd, hadn't seemed to figure out where he had gone. He had the time, now, to loom over the small group of prisoners.
The city guards, the trained ones, had likely seen him earlier at their headquarters. They did not speak even a word against him as he stared.
Nightmare stared at these faces.
A dog monster, scrappy and scarred, black fur clashing against a few patches of white. One of her ears was missing.
A pair of humans, both men, one with long, curly red hair and another with short-cropped red hair and the beginnings of a beard. Maybe they were brothers?
A skeleton. His sockets dripped with black magic, and his soul was a piercing crimson, just infront of his chest.
A flame monster, small and stout. Their flames a flickering green and purple. One of their eyes had a patch over it.
Nightmare was not great at determining emotions yet. He was hardly versed in his own feelings, but there had been improvement recently. Understanding new emotions had been coming more naturally to him.
Sometimes it hurt, but he was learning.
Now, past the blossoms of a headache, he felt a bit baffled as he subconsciously picked through the negativity these monsters exuded. Their fear. Their pain. Their loss, and their anger.
Oh.
"Only one of you is guilty."
He'd said it without thinking, practically announcing it with a voice that still felt unnaturally deep. A voice which rattled his ribcage and seemed to force past the barrier of darkness around him.
The group before him seemed startled. Confused.
Well, all but the skeleton, who seemed to only raise his skull slightly. As though just noticing Nightmare was there.
"How could you have possibly been jailed in the first place?" He muttered a bit quieter to himself.
He knew, deep down, that there were many, many rules in place for situations like this. Laws which he could challenge. People he could speak to. He could appoint members of his court to each of these people and try to earn their innocence through the rites of the law.
Then again, he remembered the rage of the crowd. The frustration of the people waiting to see these killings take place.
He didn't know what to do.
Now the prisoners, especially the two humans, were staring at him hopefully. He'd managed to shatter the negativity a bit. He believed them. He knew this was wrong.
"I don't know..."
The mutter came again unprompted.
These people would not have the means to repay him for his help. He couldn't just waive fees, or risk his court turning against him. He couldn't afford enemies being made so close to his inner circle.
He couldn't just leave them, though. Not after he'd seen the injustice of it all.
Stuck in his own thoughts, he was drawn out of it by a snickering laugh.
"Just set them free." A voice followed, "You are our King, aren't you?"
Nightmare then found his eyes drawn to the skeleton.
The others had eased themselves away from him. He stood, now, almost alone. He seemed unbothered by speaking up, his sockets held in an almost lazy posture. Tension going completely un-held.
He grinned up as the King, and seemed to watch contentedly as the thought settled in Nightmare's skull.
He could do that. Simply waive their charges. Pardon them. He could do that, surely. Many royals had done it before him for less certain terms. His mother had plenty of times.
"And you are guilty. You'll still be hanged. You know this, don't you?" Nightmare asked.
That was when the Skeleton's lazy sockets seemed to tighten with a sort of glee. Some hidden joke Nightmare wasn't privy to.
"Hmm." This was a poor choice. This was a bad decision. "Tell me, quickly, how you came to be here. Before I proceed?"
Nightmare didn't know why he was asking. He was... curious. Just like he had always been.
Very few people would ever speak straight to his face. Ccino, that was the only one who'd done it since his change. Since the prophecy. This skeleton had done it. He'd spoken when no one else could muster even a plea.
The silence he seemed to bring to every room. Broken, just briefly.
The skeleton stared at him a moment.
"Name's Killer, your majesty." The tone was mocking. "A while back a buddy of mine got into hot water, and I decided to help them out. Now, plenty of bodies later, I'm the one stuck on death row."
Simple. An admission of guilt.
Nightmare stared at him some more.
Finally, it seemed his frantic guards had noticed him. Found him. They rushed to his side, though not as fast as he would've liked. He could feel the frustration seeping from each armored body around him.
"You don't have an aversion to it," Nightmare voiced, "Killing, I mean."
Killer nodded. Unashamed.
It felt strangely calm, still. Perhaps it was because the crowd was still chattering. They likely hadn't noticed Nightmare at all.
The king turned to the city guard, still stood on the steps. "Free these four people. My judgement decrees them as not-guilty."
And, before any time could pass in the slightest. "Killer, I would like you to accompany me, before you abscond."
He'd noticed it. Killer had undone his cuffs before their conversation. Completely freeing himself from his weak imprisonment.
Killer seemed amused at the concept of sticking around to chat.
"If you would, I would like to recruit your services at my castle. I need a man who is willing to kill. And kill swiftly." Ccino said to establish an image. It was obvious now that his reputation would remain in the gutter, no matter what choices he made. He was not Dream.
Killer's sockets narrowed.
"And what would I get for being your little hunting dog?" Again, it was bold. It was new.
Nightmare was sure his expression hadn't changed since he'd come before the group. That same angry glare that sat permanently along his skull. The magic had an image to project.
His tendrils flicked, slightly.
"Payment, room, Fresh meals, and any other amenities you may like, so long as it does not break our treasury." He replied, "All I ask is that you simply obey me. And Me alone."
Not true. He'd probably ask for him to listen to Ccino as well. Once he knew for certain he'd stay.
Killer seemed to be thinking. He eyed they king, up and down. He looked to each of the guard around the king. The ones who were back in position now, though Nightmare could feel their annoyance. Their confusion.
Then Killer turned.
Then he turned back.
"Mm. Can't be worse than the ol' noose." Killer replied. "Funny way to run a country, my king. Hiring the first murderer you spot?"
Nightmare didn't humor that with a response. He was honestly shocked the skeleton had even agreed.
Though, all of that negativity had been swapped out for a glee. Something deep in Killer had changed during their brief interaction. A hope. Night could barely grasp the edges of its existence with his subconscious. But it was there.
.
He ignored the crowds as they grew confused. He ignored the worry pouring from the criminals as he had them released and informed them of their pardon.
He did not ignore when his guards told someone to keep their distance. He glanced up. Killer was standing beyond the guards, looking bored.
Nightmare, trusting fool he was, didn't even ask a guard to watch him to ensure he stayed put.
"Stand down." He ordered the guard, who begrudgingly allowed the skeleton to smugly slip past.
His tendrils kept the monster at a distance Night preferred all on their own. He seemed to take the hint.
"They're all gonna be dead by morning, you know." Killer voiced easily.
Nightmare turned to him, confused. What did he mean by that? He'd pardoned them?
"Are you deaf? The crowd wanted us dead, especially me." He chuckled, "Leaving them here is definitely going to get them killed. If the crowd doesn't rip them apart the second you leave, then it'll happen at night. There will be no witnesses."
Oh... Night hadn't fathomed that these people could turn on the innocent once declared. It hadn't even crossed his mind. Did they have a home to return to? A family they put at risk?
The noose was a fast death, but being murdered? That would've been so much worse.
He could tell, by the way they evaded looking at Killer, that he was right. Nightmare would be sentencing them to a new sort of death if he did it like this.
But he didn't have time for a trial. Or several. The sun was going down, abd Ccino expected him back. The castle needed him present, or they might revolt.
Someone might hurt Ccino.
Oh, he was such a poor ruler. He did not know his people well enough. How he lamented the lessons Dream had taken about crowds and current issues abd how to be likeable.
Night didn't know how to handle this. He was still learning!
A trembled in his hand. He tucked the limb quickly away from where it had been lightly clutching his tunics thick fabric, now hiding it beneath his cloak.
"Killer is right. It won't be safe here, for any of you." He spoke. Thank the gods it didn't sound as shaken as he felt. "I extend an offer to you all. You may stay here, or you may come take up positions among my staff back at the castle. Unlike Killer, I do not expect any crime from you, but you will be paid and housed."
The offer was met with a roar of frustration from the crowd, Nightmare chose to allow his guards to handle it. He watched, carefully, as the four looked between eachother.
The brothers agreed first. (They introduced themselves as brothers as they knelt in thanks.) Then the Dog. She said she had no family left to watch over, starting a new life would be for the best.
The flame refused, saying they would leave town by morning, and try to stay safe.
And so, Nightmare left the town with four new party members. Each had been provided a horse, each tied to one of the guards. Aside from Killer, whose steed was held personally by Nightmare.
He figured Ccino would chew him out for this, for bringing criminals into the castle when he was sent to collect soldiers, but Nightmare had a good feeling about these ones.
They did not hate him. Or fear him. He was helping them. And it felt good.
#hoping this posts. i put it into drafts first...#new age au#Night is a little poorly written here. but I promise it's intentional.#i love making the narration feel just as displaced as the character it's followinh#also. might write smth for Killer's pov of this because I can promise you#90% of it is “this loser has no clue what the fuck he”#'s doing“#in a mix of awe and amusement#and he 100% started with ulterior motives and ended up having a change of heart because of the whole#him sensing vaguely that Night was a weird paranoid kid still#OH#and that odd bit in the middle where Night is doing stuff isn't fleshed out very well#but it's meant to be a show of Night making sure his presence is known + gauging how people react to him being perfectly normal#and more importantly#he lost track of his plans. he's actually not supposed to be doing that. he's still a kid and he wanted to explore!#mm#okay#one more note#Nightmare takes those people back with him right? his castle staff is like 20% people from before and 80% people he freed from#unlawful situations or took in when they had nothing#the public sees it as him taking in shifty#evil criminals. but really? these people look up to nightmare because they were at their lowest and now have stable lives + homes and even#families sometimes#it's just cool#inside the castle is a lot safer than outside#even tho Ccino is still the only one who prepares Night's meals I think a good hunk of the staff would maul anyone they found w/ poison in a#mile radius of the kitchen.#raughhhh#okay fr last thing#I love Killer :] Him being the first is so important to me and I think he deserves the happiness ever
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¿QUIERES?
#hellblazer#john constantine#my art#welcome to the first art post of the new side#i bring to you 'what the fuck did he just roll' from hellblazer 63#still not 100% happy with how im drawing john but oh well we'll get it eventually
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I now have a really cool water bottle thanks to the gorgeous art of @potato-lord-but-not
#its so pretty😭#also gave me an excuse to get a new water bottle for the first time in like well over half a decade#i am keeping my old one but i still think its time she gets a break#i cannot get over how pretty these sticker are tho!!!!#i will 100% be a repeat customer#really want the trans and ace stickers#maybe a will wood or tma one too#mine#the possum speaks
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Reigen tells Mob the truth but it's Acnh
S3 ep12: "Confession"
"It was a lie... it was a lie from the very start... The truth is, I don't know a damn thing about how selling turnips actually works." -Reigen
They go get ramen together. The End. :^)
#making mob's ugly shirt was fun lol#also reigen maaayyyy have a concussion after getting his head hit with that giant rock... but you know...#that's not going to stop them from going to their favorite ramen shop#that's somehow still standing even after everything that went down 🤷♂️#though... he MigHt pass out before they make it there... oh well.#mob psycho 100#mp100#mob psycho#mob#reigen#shigeo kageyama#reigen arataka#shigeo#mob and reigen#acnh#animal crossing#animal crossing new horizons
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UH OH SISTERS!!
it's time for a ✨new oc✨who is a spoiler just by her gear so I've tagged appropriately. Description too. It's all spoilers all the way down.
Kinara Tyth || Ex-Oblivion Operative || Resolve's Succor || Alexandrian Nullifier
Makhali is still here and will still be posed! She'll be kicking around Solution 9 and the Arcadion. Kinara's going to be mostly contained on nullsentinel - though I reserve the right to reblog to here if I make something I really love. Please look forward to it 🙏
#ffxiv dawntrail#dawntrail spoilers#ffxiv 7.0 spoilers#ascendedhypothesis stop making sideblogs challenge 2k24: failed#facing the twelve walking backwards into hell as one does#don't worry about her titles. just don't worry! about them!! :)#well not ENTIRELY new. She and Makhali know each other! In a bad way :< they never saw eye to eye. I'm just ratcheting that up to 11#tools still not 100% so there'll be more updates/better gposes but. I'm love her? so i wanted to share her with you all :'>#ch: kinara tyth
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Okay so I was gonna do a big gush over all the new Bells Hells outfits on the recent cr episode (a surprise since I had expected that they'd show them for the live show), but instead I'm gonna encourage you to check out @agarthanguide who is answering asks about the process of designing them, they're very insightful, and I'm sure they're more than happy to answer more - within reason ofc.
#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e96#bells hells#bell's hells#cr3#cr3 spoilers#sorry for the tag I'm sure you have notifs in the 100s by now#but like there's so much to gush about on these new outfits#and of course my shipper ass can't help but love the smaller details between Ashton and Fearne's outfits#will miss the long coat and the corset but I understand Ashton's desire to distance from the hishari logo - and they do look punk as hell#very surprising to learn that they aren't privy to the episodes ahead of time#though it makes sense for the ones who didn't go into a winter climate to not prep for cold weather XD#true himbo bard and 'clothes will only weigh me down' barbarian behaviour#Laudna looking more like Delilah does show the worrisome furthering of her addiction - plus the birdcage-esque petticoat#Imogen looking really fierce in her design - Letters' dark tones did suit her very well#all the vines from Orym too and so many different flowers for Fearne which I expect represent each of the Hells#I bet there's more to come because of Sam's new PC and the Werewolf form for Chet - but do we also get more Titan form art?#oh wait I'm still gushing! shit my bad (not actually sorry)!
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having busuu explain cases without actually explaining cases is kind of wild to me. like yes this is dative. this just makes sense to me, a person who speaks a heavily case-dependent language. however hearing it explained as "we are performing and receiving the action of looking into the mirror" is like. well i suppose this is correct yes but what a way to phrase it
#like i think this makes 100% sense i am not saying they should do it differently#especially when explaining it in english. while presuming that the person learning this is primarily an english speaker#but it's like. huh. yeah i suppose that is what it is. but to me it's just. sich anschauen. dativ. reflexivpronomen! been there done that#echo.txt#(also well i haven't touched busuu in like three months whoops. haven't been Actively Trying To Learn in ages)#(like i've still learned things but not via Doing Lessons i've just been. passively picking them up. you understand)#(read that fuga comic the other day and that taught me some new vocab. and also ordem now that i'm watching it again. and twitch chat)#but. well. figured i should get back to it maybe. can't hurt!#languageblogging
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For those who are unsure of whether or not they really have the "sensitivity to cold" symptom of fibromyalgia, because you think that it's just you not being able to handle colder temperatures like other people, that's one way of putting it. The other way is, when it's winter and the temperatures start dropping, do you feel your pain more intensely? Do you feel like you have more problems with your joints? Is your partner always commenting how cold your fingers and toes are, but it somehow gets more frequent in winter? Those are other ways to consider being sensitive to the cold.
#just a little food for thought#I'm thinking bc I'm high af#I had to take an entire 50 mg gummy tonight because I had some serious fucking pain#I didn't realize it was going to be a consistent pattern of winter making me feel like shit#but here we are in year two of No Longer Ignoring My Symptoms#and I'm still questioning whether or not it's actually fibromyalgia#like I 100% definitively know what it is#I just still don't have the doctors sign off bc I hate phone calls and I'm getting new insurance next month#so I figure might as well wait to see if the new insurance covers any differently#things to look forward to with the new job#anyways I'm forever grateful I didn't have to jump through every stupid ass hoop my husband did when he went full time with my company#it's explicitly designed against people who aren't neurotypical and it's honestly the most bullshit program ever#no they don't give full time by merit in my company#I really only got the job because my file boss wanted me explicitly for her job when she retires#and I will be eternally grateful that she saw something in me that no other manager saw#anyways ignore all these tags anyone who reads this that found this in the fibromyalgia tag instead of my blog#fibromyalgia#>.>#kudos to those who read this far#your journey shall reward you with a small token of my gratitude#🐦⬛ a friend for you
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thinking about how honest the hope is in disco elysium, if that makes sense. how you face consequences for the actions and life you can’t remember. how your nightmares come back and they just might be there to stay. how you still wake up in pain and have to very actively fight off the cravings of your old addictions. how it isn’t easy trying to chose not just life, but living better, living for yourself. how it doesn’t mean any of the problems will go away, or the pain will stop, but it gives you an option other than constant suffering. there’s always a silver lining, it’s just a matter of being able to look up and find it.
hope isn’t always easy, and sometimes it is a choice, but in a torn up world and a torn up body, it’s something. it’s not always pretty or perfect, it’s clumsy and sometimes foolish and hard to keep close, it’s difficult, and maybe it’s all you have but it’s something - streets and sodium lights, the sky, the world, you’re alive
#and you damn well better keep it that way#it’s honest because trauma is still something you have to face and go through no matter how ugly#and it doesn’t just go away. things can get better and then something can hit you again. and that’s okay#idk something something it’s waves in an ocean and sometimes it’s a storm and hope keeps you afloat but it doesn’t mean you can get out of#the ocean. it’s very real in this#does any of this make any sense#or is it just 2 am and I’m stringing words together that sound nice but make no sense#i just think. so much specifically about that last dream with Dolores dei. how it promises to be an ongoing occurance#how even with Kim and solving the case and starting new he’ll still struggle with his traumas#physical and mental. but at least it isn’t hopeless yknow? it sucks but life goes on and it doesn’t suck 100% of the time#idk I’m just. thinking#disco elysium#harry du bois#z speaks
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help people are mistaking the opening chapter of my psych horror story about a man getting trapped in a demented game of house with a personification of the US Military's rot for a cute gay romcom about veterans relaxing after achieving glory
#a blue lives matter type reblogged it yucky yucky yucky yucky#they are blocked now but still#That chapter is the part of the movie where the couple moves into the suspiciously cheap old house and is so happy to#settle into their new life where nothing horrible or ghost related could ever happen#zephyr and renard are Literally in a house where they'll be watched Constantly to make sure Zephyr is imparting the Right kind of#normal onto Renard.#Renards a monster. Hes a person who's sweet and loyal and wants nothing more than to do well at the things he is told are good#but the people deciding what is and isnt good are the US Fucking Military. and a guy who is fully 100% aware of the military's role#in modern imperialism and global violence and just doesn't give a shit about that. because thats not His problem now is it#their happily ever after is a nightmare scenario for Zephyr.#trapped and watched like an insect in a jar with the threat of immense pain and violence hanging over his head 24/7 if#he doesn't play his role right. if he doesn't act as incentive for Renard to behave and obey well enough.#he cant even run because Renard will always be able to find him.#and Renard doesn't know this is Zephyr's nightmare. Thats not what his programming says it is. His dear little wife is ust testing him#to make sure hes loyal enough to follow and bring her home every time she runs.
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